#you suddenly remember to be inclusive when you are talking shit? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eddywoww · 2 years ago

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I live in a more conservative area in the US. My family isn't, but whatever. Being LGBT was looked down upon in this area, my parents made sure to tell me it was ok and people were close minded (hell they even left the church they went to and started their own). They were great parents.

That being said the surrounding area was not. Got bullied in school for being gay, even though I simply was just focused on academics. I wanted an A more than I wanted the D am I right? Hm. It frustrated me because no one even asked and I was straight. This went on from when I was 10 to 17, when I finally graduated and got out of that area. The bullying was intense, from something as simple as name calling to having group projects turned in without my name but slurs on it to getting physically pushed around and shoved.

I went to college and met some cool people. Went to a pride parade as an ally. Started learning about different labels. Proclaimed to be demisexual with a desire for men because I still didn't really have any sexual desire and again, focused on school.

When I was 21 I moved to an entire new area for my job. Met a girl in her 30s who has a kid (12 or 13 at the time I dont remember) who came out as nonbinary and pan. Good for them! The woman was an "ally" except-

Tried forcing me to come out. Many times. Put me in secret uncomfortable situations. Some highlights of things she did were: take me to a gay bar without telling me thats where we were and then paying someone to kiss me and then kept asking if I realized I was gay because I didn't push the person away (I was shocked), after I claimed I was demisexual claimed that I had repressed my sexuality because society inherently tells you to be straight and that I was truly a lesbian, would claim I was a virgin if I never slept with a man because a woman couldn't take that so if i had "religious trauma" and wouldn't sleep with anyone based on keeping virginity i could with a woman and be fine (which I dont have any, my parents formed that church and were all inclusive and its a safe space hell they even organized pride events before the town did), and the worst of all got me drunker then I've ever been to the point I could barely stand and left me with a guy who had a crush on me who kept coming onto me. She talked to him and I saw her wink at him and she left me with this dude who got too handsy if you know what I mean. Nothing under the clothes happened thank God, and really it was my own fault for drinking so much at her place *she had many people over, I actually drank less then other people but still*. I asked why she left me with him and she said she was tired, then later said she wasn't surprised he tried anything and then said "well you're definitely gonna be gay now and not want to be with a man".

I left that area behind as my career progressed and it hit me, damn she was kinda fucked up. Kissed a few people and realized hold on I do have a sexual drive hello, and I dont have to get to know people first to have it?? Not demi then. Cool! Realised that the woman kinda fucked me up. I'm doing therapy which...is ok. But I got on Tumblr and have been on

And I've met some cool people. I've realized huh I guess a straight person doesn't think about boobs and vaginas while they get off. The dicks made sense, but the rest? And it hit me Holy shit im bi?? I think??

In my mind, being LGBT was okay but ME oh no suddenly it was the worst thing in the world. And im realizing its okay for me. Idk why I thought it wasn't except for the intense bullying. One thing that made me realize was everyone on tumblr. Like I said I met some cool people. I havent sent everyone a message because I want to be anonymous still. But you're one of the people who have helped me realize its ok. It is okay for me! So thank you for that. One of your fics really helped when I was first struggling with the realization and...thank you. It may not seem like a big thing to you, but its changed my life.

Thank you so much for sending me this. Like actually truly.

First of all, I’m so sorry for the situation with your ex friend. I can’t stand when people need to push and push to get the reaction THEY want, it sickens me deeply. Im sorry you went through that and I’m so happy you’re in therapy and that you’ve discovered yourself now.

It actually IS big to me when I hear about bisexual people accepting themselves. I don’t talk about it here much but I too grew up in a conservative area. I dropped out of school for bullying, etc but had the opposite story of knowing I was bisexual very young and not knowing how to word it? I just knew it was “bad” and I went to church a lot and I needed to repent for it. So I get that part in a warped way.

I think it gets to me for a very personal reason. There’s this inherent shake when you’ve been made to feel bad about your sexuality that resurfaces at random. I had an ex boyfriend who was obsessed with my sexuality in the opposite way. He was abusive and thought I was cheating constantly with my best friend, would call me a d*ke and a f*g constantly (almost always before some sort of physical abuse) and I was just deeply ashamed of my self, to the point of being biphobic at points.

What I’m getting at here is I came out after we broke up and I expected it to be this dawn of time shit because my family is accepting too! And I remember my mom getting upset and going, “Are you sure this isn’t about your breakup? Are you okay?” And I kind of just wanted to fucking scream. Or the way family members treat it like I’m divulging some sort of sexual secret. My sister coming out as bi years later really helped me. Dating someone who both did not care and didn’t want to sexualize me made it better.

In between all that, I ended up dating a girl who I could tell from the get go doesn’t see me (still now as friends) as “gay enough”. None of my struggle or my problems are the same, none of my fears are warranted, etc. that’s fine. I don’t need suffering to know who I am. What I’m trying to get at is even after years there are still tiny things that eat away at me but I’ve learned coping skills and developed friendships that make me feel so much better. And hearing stories from other people helps so much too. So thank you for telling me yours, it means a lot to me. I know you weren’t asking for a wordy response but I just woke up and I’m a sensitive bitch 😂

I’m sorry for the things you’ve gone through and I wish the world had been kinder to a young you. I’m glad you’re better now and if you ever need to message someone (if you ever choose to not be anon) I’m around ☺️💕

#asks #tw abuse

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code-sumeragi · 4 months ago

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As for my thoughts on DA Veilguard

First off it's a solid 7 out of 10 game. And everyone needs to apologize to Inquisition because Inquisition is a good game with flaws and Veilguard is an okay game with this weird bloat to it that's hard to describe but once you play it, you'll understand.

It suffers from too many cooks and too much time in the kitchen. You can also tell it was made by Mass Effect people and not by Dragon Age people and I feel that it makes it a weaker game because of it. Because when I play Dragon Age, I want Dragon Age not Mass Effect.

With that out of the way, all the people bitching about the inclusion and 'dei' shit can stuff it. It was fine. Dragon Age has always been like that and it didn't take away anything. Though there were some dialogue bits that we weird and cringe inducing in that regard; they tended to be the minority so it was whatever. You don't notice it if you aren't looking for it and they only place it sticks out is Taash. And just don't do their quests. Simple.

I feel like some of the lore was fucked up. The crows for one thing. Felt too happy and less one murder cult thing that was implied in Origins.

And it also kinda felt like they just took fan theories and added that into the story. But I genuinely have no idea how far in advance they had plotted any of this out because the threads are there but it feels too much like a coincidence. That or someone from the team was actual sharing what they were planning on doing as meta, which, jerk.

Varric. I actually figured that he was dead from the beginning. From the marketing pretty much. It was suspicious how no one talked to him and he was just in the infirmary the whole time, so I just done knew. Didn't figure for the blood magic though. I know some people are pretty mad about Varric, but I didn't hate it.

Morrigan. I don't like what they did with her. I thought the well of sorrows was multiple elves and not just mythal. Not to mention that she rejected mythal in Inquisition. It makes it weird for her to suddenly have her memories. And be okay with everything. I also hate her top. Keep thinking she has four boobs.

Isabela. Not who I expected to come back. She seems in character for what I remember. Of course, some people's Isabela betrayed them, so I can see how they might not be happy with her.

Kept hoping that we'd seen another warden we once knew. Nathaniel, Sigrun, Oghrun, Blackwall. That was a bummer and a missed opportunity.

Velanna and Merill could have shown up with the Veil jumpers. Shale could have gone to Kal Sharok or shown up near the titan. Zevran could have been with the Crows. Fenris could have been fighting Venatori in Minrathous. Iron Bull could have been with the Lords of Fortune. Sera could have been with the Shadow Dragons.

And I don't mean that they would have to be their physically. Ambiant dialogue or a note would have been cool too. The others got a mention or even appeared. I know they want limited contact so they don't contradict each other, but a single line won't damage that.

Feels like they play favorites a little.

Marketing for the game sucked. Seriously. Following the marketing it seemed like Ghilanan and Elgarnan weren't going to be the only big bads, but they were???? Like, I felt like there was an implication there was going to be a switch like a 1/3 of the way through the game and it never happened and I was like, what is going on and it was just those two the whole time. Which, quite frankly, is on me, I should know better than to listen to marketing. Marketing fucking lies and doesn't market products correctly. Hell, they were showing actual fucking spoilers for pivotal moments through halfway through the game!! What the fuck is wrong with marketing departments???

I usually don't follow marketing, but I guess I was just so excited that I didn't listen to my better judgement and ignore it so I could have a better and clean start.

I don't like how one character /had/ to die for the best ending. And it was a character I wanted to romance on my next playthrough. It wasn't satisfying. It was shocking and somewhat disappointing. That character was one of the only characters I got attached to in the group. The companions are okay for the most part, but I just don't vibe with them as much.

It feels like the work you do for the personal quests don't matter if the character dies anyway.

In some ways I get it. But in other ways, fuck the writers.

For as much dialogue there is in this game, it sure is annoying to get it. I don't know why it annoys me. It just does? I feel like they were trying too hard to mimic the Normandy with the Lighthouse, but the Lighthouse just doesn't have the same vibe as the Normandy. And maybe it's the size of the place too.

The linear-ness of the game is both a positive and a negative. I appreciate Knowing where I need to go, but at the same time, having very little to explore sucks. I enjoy being rewarded for going off the path and finding an optional boss or puzzle that isn't literally right there. I also like the ability to see an enemy levels above you in an area, try to fight it, say fuck no, then leave. There were only a few bosses like that, but no common enemies and I think that was to the games detriment.

Oh and the lack of side quests tied directly to the story and factions was disappointing. Felt like there was very little levity to the game. There were moments with the companions, but in the overall game, it always felt uncomfortably tense. And if the devs/writers were going for that, they certainly got it, but it started to get exhausting at the end.

Combat. At first I really disliked the combat. It was way faster than Inquisition and the spaces you fought in were way too fucking small. I got used to it over time, but I miss being able to access more abilities in the ring menu. Having three skills is just so limiting and while I found a good build, the combat really stresses that you use the detonation system or you're going to have a bad time. Which, isn't great if you're forced to use a system. A good combat system is one you should be able to use without any of the extra's built into it. I should be able to use magic or attacks to kill the majority of enemies without issue and detonation and status' should be a bonus and not an absolutely must for every encounter.

The ending. And by ending I mean that shitty slide show. I know all Bioware games do fucking slide shows but . . . what if they didn't for just one game. I'm begging you Bioware. Have like a clean up scene. A party like in Origins. Any fucking thing.

The epilogue. I like how they left it open. I was wondering about a few things. But also, I'm worried that they may do the same thing they did with Andromeda and cancel the fucking DLC when I REALLY WANT THE FUCKING DLC. I want to know what the hell the gathering storm across the fucking sea is. WHAT THE HELL DID THE ORIGINAL QUNARI RUN FROM. WHY DOES NO ONE GO ACROSS THE SEA. WHO WAS THE VOICE I CONTINOUSLY RAN INTO. WHY DID THEY SHAPE EVENTS THIS WAY??? WHAT IS HAPPENING.

There's probably other things I had criticisms about. I've just got a lot of thoughts in my head right now about this game that I'm still taking the time to process through it all.

Listen. This is still a decent game for all of my bitching. Not worth the $90 for the deluxe edition. But a decent game nonetheless. Probably get it on sale. It had some misses and it had some hits but you'll probably have a good time with it if you don't go in with too high of expectations.

Ugh. I need to catch up on stuff and decompress some more.

Edit: Also, just remembered. I don't like that you're forced into a quest that makes a huge choice after gaining a companion. That's really fucked up. There should be a marker on that quest so you know to do everything before then. I didn't and thought I could just pick up a new friend and missed out on some quests because of it because I wanted to get started with friends. The way you get companions dished out to you in this game is very much like mass effect 2 and it is very annoying.

#codex

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hanzi83 · 2 years ago

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The “Everyone Puts On an NWO Shirt” Edition

The last blog I wrote about the right wing shift within entertainment seeping into politics was published before I saw the shit storm after “Progressive” host Cenk from TYT had to double down on what his co-host Ana Kasparian’s reactionary position is and then play the victims. Like I am sure there have been and will be bad faith actors trying to make shit worst, but most of the peers of these people were not shitting on them completely and approaching why the rhetoric is dangerous and covered it on their shows because TYT is an influential platform, you don’t believe me, watch one of their live 2 hour streams where the commercials are literally sucking their own dick about how further they were compared to other progressive movements and how many times they are right, so when they argue in bad faith, and people are telling you to reflect and reconsider the angle you are taken, if you care about the marginalized communities that you claim to fight for then why are these people becoming Bill Maher. A lot of leftists are nice about this to a fault because they don’t want to burn the bridge with TYT, but they are certainly trying to burn bridges with other leftists. Ana flat out said she is done collaborating with other leftists because they get used and get boosted up to trash them. I can understand the Jimmy Dore’s of the world doing shit like that, but the people they are claiming now called them names etc, didn’t call them names at all. Just because people call you out on your bad takes that are conveniently getting boosted up by the usual right wing suspects online, then maybe rethink your position but these people want to be known for their informative stories but incorporate shitty entertainment to get sitcom dialogue off, because that is what we need, more political commentators doing their Trump impression. Let me sum up the situation before I go further, because maybe people don’t get what is going on. I know me expressing myself via blog will make people catch feelings but anything I write or say is just my opinion and my theory. Remember people weaponized the mentally ill shit on me to discredit me but then suddenly think I am credible if I dare question conspiracy theories. The reason I want to try and explain and go through the process, because I have seen my fair share of rebranding with public figures, you start to see the trend and this one with TYT it has been one of those rebrands that feel like one of the forced things on the planet. I never seen it be so fucking transparent, and maybe that is by design because you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.

So let me point out better and more informed people who have written or talked about this have done a good job and go look at their coverage and opinions about this. I know I am not well versed in how to articulate myself at times, and there are always vultures trying to take advantage, it probably doesn’t help that I run my digital mouth when I feel people are being recruited to joining the right wing side and people will lesser of the 2 evils this shit, which they had condemned if people voted for a democrat. They spent years generalizing Trump supporters, and now when they are ready to pivot to the right, suddenly they promote peaceful shit with people who are being radicalized to tink minority groups are lesser than, So Ana from TYT, did a video a few years back about inclusive language in medical procedures to referring to trans men as birthing people, and if you are someone who has not listened to in depth politics regarding the matter from people in that community and you are genuinely confused and you consume shit through entertainment, especially Joe Rogan who seems like he knows about what happens in sports, now I don’t know shit about it, so someone who is a sports person talking about this issue I tend to stop trying to think and assume these people are experts in this shit. There are people who get funded to go more regressive attitudes and persuade people that way, so now because these issues get pushed by celebrities, who don’t play by regular rules, maybe some of the same qualities but ultimately these people all have an agenda, sure they have talent, but there is always a portion of them that is designed to persuade people, it only becomes obvious when it is something progressive pushed, and if you need an art form to specifically blame, it will be hip hop a lot of the time. So when most people in general don’t care about this issue because it doesn’t affect their lives, they have now convinced people the internet is 100 percent real with what is put on there, and because MSM doesn’t cover it, people think they stumbled upon plutonium, they probably watched a bunch of illuminati youtube videos where ominous music is playing in the background while you show different celebrities covering one eye. They think they are the only ones stumbling across this shit, and because MSM is completely shit with issues, that seems to be the role they have played in a more obvious ways to uplift other alt media platforms that pride themselves on being better than MSM but still pretty much have an establishment show. That is what TYT seems to be about more so than ever, Ana Kasparian and Cenk sold their souls to do shitty sitcom banter and trying to be “fair” to powerful right wingers when the systemic trajectory is by default a right wing system, no matter who the fucking president is. They will say they are telling you the truth about telling you how the system is being more and more corrupt, they show trauma porn a lot of the fucking time, then condemn people for being a bit reactionary when powerful right wingers are normalizing Nazi level shit against them, someone like Ana, who so badly wants to be a showbiz celebrity type, which is why a lot of alt media people who cover news never disclose how some of these big time celebrities and larger than life personalities are just regular people, she just said on her show “If Trump was just a comedian I would support him all day but he is running for president” like being a celebrity, you can’t be a government agent who manufactures consent and a cult. They feel so powerful for dumbing down villains that are a serious threat, but you are not supposed to think that because the “liberal establishment” is making fun of him all day and presenting theatrical cases that are more for the sports entertainment so it prolongs but sets you up for the inevitable because his followers who have large following and social clout, are presenting themselves like this could happen to anyone, when it has been happening to people, but they make it seem like they are actually going to do shit with Trump, and so when his side fights back, they will feel they have been targeted and victimized by the establishment while falling for another establishment person who is probably working with the people who claim to hate him so they can usher in fascism. I am getting a bit off track, but no one checks for my blogs unless it is powerful people who will find a way to mentally torment me for writing down my theories that was agreed upon that would mean I would have to be irrelevant. So Ana and Cenk start a shit storm on twitter and even tried to bait people on their show, and when they didn’t receive a reply, Ana went on the attack to someone who basically said she didn’t want to coddle her feelings when she was the one who started to bitch about birthing people term like it is some random opinion, while so many bills are being passed, the right wing sensationalizing videos online, Tucker basically telling his viewers these people are a fucking danger, these people know what they are doing when putting out the opinion, people pushed back against it, some were not so nice, some were trying to reason with them, and now they present it like “YOU CAN’T STOP US FROM THINKING WHAT WE THINK” in which seems to be one of the worst pivots to the right wing when it has been building for a while through some of their opinions. They fear monger about crime, and even the people who counter them with facts get discredited, but I feel both sides are missing that these billionaires, who fund protests, and fund chaos in school boards, people don’t want to believe these people could fund sensationalist crime for viral moments, that add to narratives of crime getting out of control, but TYT will use how regular citizens are scared and what do you tell them, but considering a few months ago during one of their commercial breaks, Ana admitted when reading a user comment, she thinks they are sensationalizing the crime so people fear justice reform, and I figured she would incorporate that eventually but she kept going on fear mongering about the homeless and the crime, and it feels even people who have to counter her within the rules of kayfabe, they can’t be conspiratorial and act like this shit is done by design, our lives have become a funded reality show, and we are using examples to chastise the most vulnerable, like with that new NCAA right wing spokesperson athlete who is speaking at Turning Point USA sponsored shit to spew paid speech for this political sports entertainment, she was confronted by attackers, and TYT chastises the people in that community like “You are not gonna change these people’s minds who might not be familiar with trans stuff” listen there are legit regular people who have been dumbed down by the system who might legit might not know, but this athlete is in a position where she is probably being funded to speak this “truth” because we assume the politically incorrect opinion is some genuine truth when it has been as funded as overly politically correct shit. And they use these sensationalist celebrity examples to then go the angle of “Look I am not a right winger, but this is why they have a point” and quite frankly Cenk and Ana don’t have the charisma to pull it off, they know they are blowing the remaining goodwill they had to now play catch up with Jimmy Dore and others like him because they can’t admit they want to sell out and go that way, when you have prominent right wing accounts encouraging you to get red pilled, it is not a good sign and because I believe shit is gimmicked, TYT has always, in my opinion reported on gimmicked storylines that are designed for culture war issues while sprinkling in some real commentary, so now Ana is doing a story where to show she is a credible journalist she retracted a story about Rebekah Jones, who claimed that her son was arrested for a meme but it turns out he was gonna threaten to shoot up a school. It was an obvious smear job for DeSantis, so now all the right wing accounts have been calling this woman out, since the world wants you to go into a more right wing mentality in subtle ways, you now have TYT being “fair” to DeSantis that this sports entertainment patsy tried to smear his name when she has a history of fucked up shit like stalking etc, but to me it feels like an obvious attempt to whitewash DeSantis more and more. I have an issue because these people pretended to be for the left and did some good things but ultimately they want to sell out but before they do, they want to act like they were pushed to it. Pro wrestling 101 for heels. They won’t care because they will get their paydays, but they better realize the aesthetic might be nice, you will be protected, you will use your power to fuck up people’s lives, but everyone in your life will hate you and I am sure a lot of sell outs think they need to do whatever to survive for their families and maybe you will have the aesthetic, but you will feel miserable more and more because all of this to have a lame comedy bit where you and whatever host you have on are trying to reboot your favorite comedies and think your banter is actually fucking funny.

Now that I have seen my fair share of in fighting being promoted while the world gets worse and then we define these systemic issues by the personality and celebrity involved, I am going to question if the people who are opposing TYT are not gonna find their way to become more right wing down the fucking line. It is not a farfetched assumption. Because sometimes people who cover politics, then come off like marks for entertainment, because that fuels everything which is why everyone and everything has to be some sort of nonstop comedy and Murder She Wrote mystery. Even the stuff with these leaks from the Pentagon, feels gimmicked, like the system wants you to know this information, but because we have to pretend that internet is some underground message board where no one else but you and your friends are into, people then think “MSM not covering this” but then other highly platformed shows are covering it but they really sell it like it was an accident, like if you are not that influential and you are going to lie about narratives, why would I even trust you on this matter. To me it isn’t about country vs country, but people pointing out what each government has done, but each side has to blindly defend the government they are for. When the bad faith factors from all countries are going to algin in the future, like to me people will point out Bush and neocons and act like Trump didn’t have a bunch of them in his administration, and they sell you on the idea that these people hate him, so if you hate him then it means you are siding with the neocons, people think calling out Bush or ex presidents mean a thing when the same players who manufactured consent 20 years ago are doing it again with advanced steps, anyone can say they are anti war now and it doesn’t mean shit, especially when you are palling around with people who clearly advertise more war all the time. They give you shit for playing lesser of the 2 evils, to them also now doing it on a really fucked up level since they are the credible media outlets compared to the “MSM” which makes money but it is basically designed to be a punching bag for other less established sellouts who have their own propaganda they want to spew. I know my shit is kind of scattered, I have so many thoughts and theories, and again these are things I can’t prove so you don’t have to take my word for it, but once I realized the internet and alt media can now be used as a propaganda tool, like all this “anti establishment” shit would’ve sufficed 10-15 years ago, but when you are living in a reality show where the educators are dumbing down the villains and claiming they are funny, I can see the establishment aesthetics creeping in, because these people in the know are fully aware of what the world is going to develop into, more promoted villainous shit about republicans wanting to take away food stamps and medicaid, and yes that shit people should be aware of but they know it is just them promoting what it to come while they actually think the theatrical shit in congress is going to be won when the right wing always find a way to deflect, and a democrat will give into the republicans because ultimately we are going to implode and they just found filler ways to be the reason why it will keep happening. So please spare me the shit of “TYT tells it like it is and they are better than MSM” Same shit goes for Jimmy Dore, I have seen this in wrestling a lot of time, permitted anti establishment people, Steve Austin, in modern times, CM Punk, when a lot of these people are probably industry plants. Some could be used for the sake of good or evil, but I am done pretending these new characters being introduced are just some genuine characters that somehow got known, to me it is always planted from different delegations and factions. Now whoever leaked the Pentagon leaks, he will become a guinea pig of someone who will be fucked with but he will become a new character into the fold. I know I went into a million other thoughts but to be honest when I write, I tend to jot down notes so then I can talk about it in a freestyle way, so even though I am writing a blog I am trying to incorporate as much of those thoughts in here so I don’t have to jot notes about it later in private, even though people are always watching what I write regardless, but everything now is designed for culture wars, promoting Budweiser, Mario Bros, or LEGO by freaking out which celebrities from different delegations will represent for it and we start complaining about it while at the core of this shit, it is sports entertainment and product placement. “This revolution/fascism is brought to you by Mario Bros” but you think people are arguing about the Mushroom head character not having enough masculine traits. These scandals going on feel like the new resume for what is on your IMDB page, like Trump is starring in several television shows where he is being charged with crime, you can’t keep up. It is like I gave up on trying watch every show and movie because I would keep up with the internet chatter, but now that shit is even more gimmicked and everyone has their own storylines going, you got procedurals with Lil Boosie, or Meek Mill, you don’t have to follow past storylines, because most of the time their storylines are self contained episodes. People are constantly reporting on this gimmicked shit. To me the world is advanced and has always been for the longest time, but they have to gimmick how they are normalizing these robot cops to patrol the subways and the streets etc, they are making it official because the world is about to get completely fucked up and they setting the seeds for it, more rights being taken way, more normalization of anti wokeness, justifying brutalizing people in vulnerable communities, present all of it with television show and movie aesthetics and we are too busy acting like characters than actually being human. It is hard to root for anyone anymore, nothing on the surface is ever going to get solved because it is supposed to implode into bedlam, we will have shit being purposefully done like all these toxic derailments, and I will give kudos to people covering it and getting the information out there, but the rest of the time will be spent on people who are accountable and responsible denying being responsible for it while maybe Katie Porter or Bernie Sanders will give them a stern talking to, which will get some social media viral shit to cheer on for the bare minimum. Why would I want to be on this planet, so everyone can fucking thrown on an NWO shirt and do the cool entrance with Hulk Hogan, the funny thing is a lot of you want to join that side thinking it is better to be with the bad guys than being with the losers in WCW, but not all of you are gonna be Kevin Nash, or Hulk Hogan, some of you might be the Scott Halls, where you will have all the money but your psychological issues will always come into play, some of of you will become Scott Norton where you will not reach your full potential in the main stable, you might have to go to another promotion to still show how your true talent, some of you will be VK Wallstreet who will just end up being a background player until they kick you out. If you don’t understand the wrestling analogies, go seek a friend who does and he can probably break it down for you, if they aren’t already being sucked in by the worked shoot in with current stuff, they won’t want to bother explaining what the NWO comparisons could be because they are trying to get to the bottom of why Dave Meltzer and Bryan Alvarez’s motives behind putting out anti CM Punk sentiment. This blog is getting out of control, but the main purpose was because I know most people expected this from TYT, but what outrages me is that all the good work they did or people they helped out, they have been slowly throwing it away and wanted to milk as much out of the progressives before they get gigs where they are propped up and they go further right, and instead of admitting that, they are finding ways to have agreements with the shittiest people on the right and having more vitriol for activists and people who are pushing back at their motives. It is fucking sickening to see people who want to be influential, who have advanced knowledge in the system to play dumb about shit and pretend they are the ones acting in good faith, they started a shit storm for no fucking reason, and then complained about people pushing back and act like they want to focus on the important issues. I hope the money is worth it, because you guys will never be the same. Cenk is the type of dude who watched Sopranos and really thought Tony Soprano is the good guy because there might be relatable mental issues the character has that people can relate to. But the funny thing is a lot of you sellouts want to be Tony Soprano, but you end up being Christopher Moltisanti, someone being groomed to be the next big thing but you have too many issues to deal with because you have been lured into a lifestyle by other sociopaths and manipulated into doing their biddings, and the anger you will have for the people giving you marching orders you will take out on your family members and friends. Now the trolls who hate me, who have connection with people in the system, could show them this blog and they could use their power to fuck with me more and I guess that is the consequence since Cenk is positioning it like he is the one getting punched in the face, and how he doesn’t back down, I don’t take those words lightly because I recognize it in other institutional bosses in the political and entertainment world, it means they will be in a position to be protected so they can run amok on their “enemies” but it didn’t have to be this way, even in videos where it is not right wing propaganda, the comment section is full of people who you would see in Jimmy Dore’s comment section, they are clearly catering to more on the right, and since the online narrative is the right wing are the ones being victimized and censored etc, it is like fairness has been granted when most of the narratives that have existed have probably always had roots in the right wing, to the point of telling people progressive ideas are coming and people are scared because they want to go back to a world where this was not promoted so fucking heavy and it makes me question if some of the gimmicked progressive shit in the system was not always there for the purpose of people thinking the opposite being completely the edgiest of all edges and it is not supported by the system, even though people from the system are the ones promoting it all over social media and speaking engagements, while establishment liberals keep promoting them under them being dumbed down villains, which will lower the guard for how smart these people are. I have heard this old adage in showbiz that “You are no dummy making money being stupid” and look at what the world is, yeah me I am considered a wack packer in the Stern world which has always been used to discredit me, but how can I really feel discredited when everyone who is a public figure is a wack packer yourself, you might as well just have Beetle Juice and Hank the Dwarf argue on the congress floor, because that is what most of these politicians and public figures in general have become. It has never been more obvious and people continuing into wanting to buy into this shit is just wasting everyone’s time because there is serious shit on the horizon and we continuously have to present everything under comedy, like is there not enough comedy for you people out there, what does it really mean when everything is entrenched in comedy. It doesn’t even feel like the laughs for this shit is even genuine anymore, the entertainment has become more worthless and useless to me. And this is what seeps into politics when the world is near doom and bad faith actors are pretending to warn about it while they will be the perpetrators in this whole thing to gain the power they so desperately need to turn this world into complete fundamentalist bullshit. The far right can keep normalizing the shit they normalized but if people don’t protest the fascism properly then they get chastised more than the normalization because shitty platforms like TYT give you the impression that the fight can be happen with the ideas presented in congress etc when they probably know the world is going to implode and not everyone has people looking after them, so people need to be in self defense mode from this shit. More people are gonna continue to get harmed from this rhetoric and no one with these big platforms ever have any real motivational shit to get people mentally prepared for what it to come but people who are far right can have their people enacted and go on the offense while pretending to play the defense so they don’t seem like monsters for the shit they are advocating for. I don’t know what the solutions are, I never wanted to be alive for the longest time, and I really don’t want to see this shit play out the way the people in charge want it played out. What hope is there? I am beyond escaping through entertainment, when the entertainment itself is a reminder of where the world is going as well and all the bullshit attached to it. Again I have to put disclaimers that I am not dangerous, I don’t have any weapons, I am being monitored most likely so the ones doing it can confirm, because anything you say about the system and its players, they will try do some shit to smear you at the behest of other powerful people who are getting angry I put this out but the only saving grace is most of the masses won’t know this blog exists, but just the mere fact that I am presenting it with the idea that I can’t confirm every single thing and I am being a little conspiratorial, does anger people and you bet they have people keeping an eye out on whatever I do, they probably monitor everyone and keep a dossier on them, figuring out how they could use them to be a patsy for some shit to further their agendas. The real ones know my true nature and what kind of propaganda I had to beat that was taking me over at times, they know I am not this violent dangerous person. But they will try to paint me as that, since that is what my trolls have notoriously done that if you look up my name, you see those negative stories, and to me that was designed that if Stern ever gets exposed for the shit he did to me, people looking up my name will see this false photoshop of me beating up people and labeled under “Hanzi beat up a gay couple at wild wings” they haven’t done this in a while but just having that in the public sphere, and anyone who has resources can check my background and see if I have been arrested, powerful people have dossiers on everyone. But there is a reason why my blogs and podcasts and tweets are not boosted up at all and it probably still makes them mad that I am putting effort into putting out podcasts, blogs and trying to be creative, because I am supposed to feel less than since I am not supposed to be boosted up on any level. People having their echochamber of celebratory shit can only be the ones to be propped up but even they are not fully happy because they don’t know if people genuinely find them funny or is it for quid pro quo “I’ll socially put you over but you have to laugh the shit I say”. If I do die, this shit will be out there to live on for people to read after the fact. Maybe in a next life or some shit it will be better since this timeline won’t seem to get better for me because of how the world will play out.

#Hanzi 2023 Howard Stern Mental Illness TYT Young Turks Ana Kasparian Cenk #Post Left Leftist alt media sports entertainment characters villains heroes

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totiredtowrite · 4 years ago

Note

Can you please write one for Tsukishma? Like the reader is a himbo. Possibly related to Kageyama. That's all, I guess.

Pain In The Neck - Headcanons

Warnings - Cursing, Chaos, wrote this at 12am and didn't proofread so there's probably mistakes

Note: I didn't make reader exactly related to Kags (because inclusivity) but they are close, gonna be long headcanons look out hehe

Male Reader

How???

How tf did you two end up happening?

Well that's what we're here to find out hehe

It's himbo headcanon time

again

Welcome back if you've been here before

and welcome if you're new :))

Meeting

You two met in the most undignified way ever

See, your (mom/dad/caregiver) was like besties with Kageyamas (mom/dad)

Like way before you two were birthed ykyk

To the point where you called his (mom/dad) aunt or uncle

So naturally because you lived around the same area and your parents were so close, you had to be friends

And you were yaaay

You went to different middle schools though, and you thought you were going to different highschools

BUT SURPRISE

Kageyama didn't get accepted to shiratorizawa :0

So back to the main topic: how you and stick met

Kageyama had left something (idfk what just make something up) at your house when you two were studying

So you went to the gym right near the end of practice and asked coach Ukai where tobio was

And he just goes "why" like an old dense mf

And you're like "he left something"

Coach just tells you to put it in the locker room near all his shit

Remember how I said it was near the end of practice?

Yeah

well

Tsukishima walks in while you're crouched by his locker and like opening it HAHAHAH

You didn't know which one was Kageyama's and you just guessed lmao

So naturally he gives you that >:0 look if you know which one I'm talking about

And you said "Nononono wait! It's not like that!"

And Kageyama walks in to find Tsukishima close to beating you up smh

(Not like he could, he's a fuckin stick but I love him)

Kageyama had to stop him and introduce you two properly hehe

General Relationship (enemieship frfr)

So not the best first impression hehe

enemies to lovers arc??

Really his pride wouldn't let him be anything other than a dick to you at all times

smh he's so mean

Kageyama really didn't have a reason not to introduce you to the team now

You got along with most of them being pretty extroverted

Yamaguchi likes you, much to Tsukki's displeasure

You can hang out with Ennoshita and Narita and they won't complain

The third years are like guardians frfr

Anything, and I mean anything remotely bad happens to you, and Sugawara will be ready to burn a building down

Asahi and Daichi reel him in though dw

But back to Tsukki

He'll hate your ass

again his pride

And he'll be kind of mean

You, (being kind of airheaded and full himbo-y), don't even register his insults most of the time

It pisses him off to another level

Always ranting to yamaguchi about how much you suck

And those rants turn into how you suck so much for making sure he's taken care of and healthy

And how dumb it is that you offer to tape his fingers

And how you always give him water...and yell "Tsukki!" Smiling when you see him...

And...

Oh shit.

Realization and Not Hetero Panic

Free Tadashi frfr

Also, denial.

Denial all the way.

There's no way Tsukishima likes you right?

One, you're a guy, and two, you're...a guy

After a while he just kind of realized that all the things you did for him and your airheaded smile just makes his chest all warm and shit

He hates it

How dare you!

He was going through his life and shit, when suddenly you popped in and just fucking shook everything up?

Expect him to be a little meaner

And when his shit doesn't phase you he'll physically push you around a bit

Not too hard ofc

Are you being bullied? Who knows

Still after he accepts his feelings, he'll try to tone it down a bit

And Yams got tired of Tsukishima always bitchin to him

Joking I swear

So to help his best bud out, Yamaguchi hypes Tsukishima up

"Have you seen how he looks at you?"

"He always says Hi to you first, weird right?"

"How many times have you seen him jump to tape your fingers"

This of course leads to our next topic(s)

Confession and Actual Relationship

He'll confess in the most boring way ever

You were just taping his fingers before a game or practice or whatever

And when you finish he goes "Thanks, love you," and fUCKING WALKS AWAY????

You just stand there all practice, awkward asf

And when he gets done you confront him where it all started

The locker room

And he's also kind of nervous because he's 16 and he isn't sure of just how he feels

He didn't know if he was trying to be suave or if the whole "I love you" thing just slipped out

So when you confronted him he was all red and tried to avoid it

All you really have to say is "I like you too" and the man is all over you

And by that I mean awkwardly attempting to initiate holding hands

*gasp*

What heresy

He's a smaller affection guy

He'll talk to you about his favourite things or let you use his headphones

Little things like that

You know that thing?

Like he'll grab your face and squish your cheeks together?

Yeah he does that whenever

He just thinks it looks cute but will cover it up by saying "He was talking too much"

(If he ever says anything too mean let him know and he'll never do it again<3)

He's totally a tsundere

But it doesn't work because you're so oblivious to it LMAO

Kageyama might not approve of it

like at all

But who is he to stand in the face of true love? /j

So yeah happy relationship

Yams is happy to be freed

No longer the adorable hobgoblin that has to listen to Tsukki's boy problems

Dobby but green

Screw J.K Rowling <3

#m!reader #hq x male reader #anime x male reader #male reader #x male reader #haikyuu x male reader #tsukishima x male reader #tsukishima kei x male reader

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filthforfriends · 3 years ago

Text

Holding Giorgia Soleri Accountable

I refuse to glorify anyone by celebrating the good and ignoring the problematic. These pictures are very difficult to find, which is no accident, and why I'm posting them here. The translations are rough, please correct me.

User AuroraFerrandes: Okay. We call a surgeon.

Giorgia: I have some big n#$!a ass anyway too.

The issue: use of the n-word. If you don't understand why a white person using it in any context is bad, here is an easy article. The intent behind using a slur doesn't change its history, its still harmful. She is also sexually objectifying black bodies in the phrase "big n#$!a ass." Reminder that "Sexual objectification occurs when a woman’s body, body parts, or sexual functions are isolated from her whole and complex being and treated as objects simply to be looked at, coveted, or touched" (Fredrickson & Roberts, 1997). Because feminism is intersectional, racism is inherently anti-feminist, and thats relevant to her activism. Additionally, the sexualization of black women has been a pervasive issue in its own right. Read more here.

Giorgia: And no raga,* I became a Muslim.

*raga is Italian slang referring to a group of people. I'm not sure how to translate it in this case.

The issue: is not that she is wearing a headscarf. Headscarves are not exclusive to Islam, however hijabs are. "I became a Muslim," implies that she's wearing a hijab, which makes this cultural appropriation. Cultural appropriation is racism. Obviously, Giorgia doesn't actually think she's suddenly a Muslim. This is a joke, and that makes it more problematic. Here are some young Muslim women talking about how meaningful their hijab is, so you understand why a humorous comment about it is offensive. Don't fall into the trap of finding something funny just because it comes from POC. Examine that shit. Their culture and spirituality aren't a joke. Remember that racism and feminism are mutually exclusive.

There's another part to this that I don't expect Giorgia or non-Americans to know, but now is a chance to educate yourself. Post 9/11, Islamophobia poisoned our country. There is a violent, blood soaked history behind Muslim jokes, that everyone should abstain from participating in.

The issue: the fact that this is racist cultural appropriation is obvious. If you're still confused what that means, here's an article. I'd like to reiterate that all of these images compromise her credibility as a feminist advocate.

Twitter Apology: "I’m extremely sorry. Many people sent me a few post where I used racist slurs and cultural appropriation. I’m sorry to have offended, hurt, and triggered people. I can only thank those of you who are holding me accountable for the horrible things I wrote - I want to take responsibility for these mistake in the hope of growing and not making them again and because I absolutely owe an apology to the communities I have offended. I made a huge mistake, i’m ashamed and I want to apologize to those I hurt with my mistakes - as a young, ignorant and privileged woman. I very well know that intentions are not enough when you hurt someone. I deeply apologize. I used those words 6-7 years ago and – despite knowing that this isn’t an excuse or a way to justify my actions – in the past few years - (especially in the last 2-3 years) I tried to grow, become aware, educate myself and i will never stop doing it because it is the only way to become a more and more respectful and inclusive individual. I still have a lot to learn and mistakes to make - but I can guarantee you that I’m no longer the person who wrote those things. I know that apologies don’t need to be accepted and I can’t blame those who won’t, i can totally understand if you are upset or angry at me. But I strongly hope that you can sense how deeply sorry I am. With love and apologies, Giorgia."

The issue: Allegedly she was originally contacted about this on Instagram, which is a much bigger platform. Instead of addressing it there, she apologized to a smaller audience on Twitter. This apology is also missing a key component that is very much her responsibility: resources. Why is what she did bad? How can she and others improve? She needs to educate her audience, because this burden all too often falls on oppressed parties.

Yes I recognize that this was an above average apology, but remember that apologizing for perpetuating oppression is the bare fucking minimum.

#giorgia #giorgia soleri

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sailorhyunjinz · 4 years ago

Note

HI BESTIE IMY HEBSBRBS AHH I’ve been so busy ... also recently got super sick and I’ve not been well at all ,, it’s just the flu / a stomach bug tho ! :,) hru ???

Your latest reaction was so good ,, thoughts r being thunk ?? Thinking about skz reaction to you rubbing / jerking their dicks just whenever you’re bored .. and you don’t even really notice that they’re getting off ahah IDK IT JUST SEEMS TO HOT ??

Once they cum or wtv you’re like ;) hsshbrbs

I have a dick but honestly it’s never bothered me reading ur shit directed towards a female reader ? For some reason I really like it bye 😭🤚

-🚬

BABYBOOOY WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SICK?!?! :((( Hope you’re feeling better now, i should give u some of my healing medicin aka my kisses :(( <33

Also that last bit AAh thank u T-T i try to be more inclusive but like AAAGH im always so scared that i’ll mess something up from my lack of ~ knowledge ~ BUT I REALLY TRY MY BEST >< so thank uuu for having patience for my dumb ass

ANYWAYS SPEED REACTION LEGO

warnings: skz x gn!reader. handjobs, blowjobs, cum, orgasm (m), cum eating, slight overstimulation

Bangchan

“w-what the fuck”

yeah thats his only reaction when you suddenly stick your hand down his pants, wrapping your hand around his dick and slowly stroking it while big spooning him

you werent trying to get him off... more like... you wanted something to play with while watching the movie

boy would be ~ flustered ~

he’d find it interesting

why would you jerk him off if you didn’t want him to cum yk?

like that type of thoughs

but of course you can’t expect him to not react LMAO

you were fully immersed in the movie because it started to get interesting now and you didn’t notice how you started jerking him off faster.

until...

you felt something warm and wet hit your hand paired with his dick twitching

you looked at him and saw that poor boy was biting his bottom lip so hard trying to not disturb you with his moans

“did you cum?” you say, lifiting up his pants to which he yelped and put his hands over yours right at his crotch. “n-no”

Minho

be bold with this man

pull his pants down when he’s just chilling ASHASHA oh god

he doesn’t think it fair

eventhough he does the exact same to you

when he does it to you it more like he simply wants to feel you all over, not intending for you to get turned on

but make one moan and this mf thinks it a game

“how many times can i get y/n to moan”

NO OK BUT RETURNING TO YOU -> HIM

it would take sum time to get him to cum

he doesnt strike me as the sensitive type and so you could jerk him for quite a while which hey more fun for you

but ooone faithful day he was more turned on than usual leading to him cumming quicker than he usually does during one of those times where you played with his dick

stroking it, running your thumb across the tip, licking it .. you name it...

you smirk when he accidentally cums on your lips and you lick it off and he just starts complaining (yk when jisung bit his fingernail in that two kids room episode, yeah that tone)

“y-you can’t just do that!!” you start chuckling “what? mad that you came like a bitch?”

nex thing you know you’re pinned against a wall OOP sorry

Changbin

he lives for this BUT only if you give him attention

which you dont because you’re simply bored and dont want to get him off, more like... liking the feeling of having him in your hand lmao

“can you at least look at me?” you shake your head, holding his semi-erect dick in your hand “shh,,, im watching something!”

that would be the everyday conversation ahsahsha

I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD GO FOR A WHILE??!

he’d be relativly quiet as well so you wouldnt notice until he actually cums and you’re like “...wtf why is my hand sticky”

BRUH U START APOLOGIZING HASHAS HE JUST GLARES AT YOU FOR NOT GIVING YOU ANY ATTENTION

but he came anyways so..

you try to escape the situation but he’s not having it

“nah you’re not escaping now, finish what you started baby”

Hyunjin

another boy thats lives for this

why? because a) its a handjob b) he likes the thrill of not knowing when you’re bored c) because you forget what you’re doing and he likes seeing you surprised when he cums ASHAHS god bury me

would purposefully make you bored

“the wifi is down y/n,, guess we having nothing to do...w-wanna give me a handjob”

you shrug, “alright”

you’re completely lost in though, wondering when the wifi will return or what you guys should eat for dinner

suddenly he cums,,, a lot,,,

you laugh at him and he’s kind of blushing with his hair covering parts of his face.

“i-i’m pretty sure the wifi will be down for a while” ;))

Jisung

FUCK YES LETS GO

he would already just be naked infront of you at random times

like,,, whats the point in putting on clothes after the shower if he knows that you are going to sneak up on him and jerk him off yk?

but what this boy didn’t know was how you didn’t notice most of the time

your hand just having a mind of it’s own...

but you’d notice pretty quick

since this boy LOUD YALL

whiny mf

“shush!” you say, scrolling on your phone with one hand and jerking him off with the other.

you didnt intend on making him cum,,, just giving him a massage ASKKASJSKSA

he’d act all like “ppfft... you can’t make me cum from just that-”

and then shuts up because “h-hey... this feels too g-good”

not thinking he’d cum this quick you started talking to him but were quickly cut off from him letting out a long moan

“f-fuck,, y/n..h-haa,,,”

after he cums you’re like “heading to bed”

but he pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and looking at you with big doe eyes

“c-could we keep going?”

Felix

boy would be walking around, holding his crotch because he never knows when you attack

because he belong to the more... sensitive bunch of boys... HE DOESNT LIKE IT TOO MUCH

mostly because he’d cum too fast and it would leave him embarrassed (awh poor boy:(( )

thats legit the only reason LMAO

noo poor boy wants to appear all tough for you even though you’ve told him over 100 times that he doesn’t have to be, you love him for who he is yk? <33

BUT NOPE stubborn baby sets bets with you

“ok this time i won’t cum that quickly... last time was a practice round”

ASHAHSH WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY JESUS

4 minutes later... YEAH YOU GUESSED IT

and you didnt even notice?!?!

you just thought that those sounds were him in like pain ASHShHAS

because you were to preoccupied thinking watching tv

needless to say,,, he was pouty,, for a while

until you attacked again LMAO

Seungmin

ok gimmie a second,,,, i need to think

alright... he likes it BUT he’s shy

you need to give the puppy some time to warm up

do it too fast and he gets scared AHSHASH

so ok lets say that the both of you are doing,, nothing

and you just slowly feel him up and it eventually leads to you jerking him off

you’re not even aware of how good he’s feeling with your hand around his cock

“y-y/n can you stop?”

“stop what- oh”

looking down you notice that he already came, his cum coating the tip and your hand with white thick ropes

NOT THAT HE CAME FAST JUST THAT HE SUFFERED WITH THE SLIGHT OVERSTIMULATION ON HIS OWN

goddamn... seungmin is always so difficult to write for ONLY ME?!?!?

seungmin stans are already knocking on my door SORRY IM TRYING

Jeongin

BLUSHY BOY

I REPEAT; BLUSHY BOY

“w-what are you doing y/n~?” he says while your hand travels down the side of his body while the two of you were chilling in bed. “im bored” you huff out, looking him in those big brown eyes. “we can play videogames!” he says trying to make you get your hand out of his pants but you shake your head. “i wanna play with you instead”

boy would melt

painfully shy (and hard)

because you it all happened so fast??

the two of you were chilling, everything quiet and peaceful and before he knows it you’re jerking him off vigorously

he covers his face with his hands, occasionally sneaking a glance of your pretty face from inbetween his fingers as you give him a handjob

you’d be too focused watching his face as almost falling asleep not noticing the boy squirming around

until you hear

“h-hghnn...”

thats his cumming sounds btw HAHSHAH IF I WASNT CLEAR ENOUGH

jesus i cant write reactions for shit BUT THEY SEEM TO BE REALLY APPRECIATED SO YEAH!

I have 2 more of these coming up oh and also remember that this is legit word vomit SO ITS NOT PROOF READ AND UHM... i’ll try to do the two other ones this week heheh ^^

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yournameoneverypage · 4 years ago

Text

Moon Over Miami

Anon request; Shawn Mendes x (y/n).

~3.1k

Warnings: Language.

~ * ~

You scowled at your overflowing carry on. You really didn’t want to bring something bigger, because that would mean baggage check and waiting at luggage carousels and that was just a headache waiting to happen.

Shawn was stretched across your bed on his back, tossing a tennis ball in the air and catching it again. “(Y/n), it’s Miami and we’re only going to be there for four days,” he chuckled. “You do not need to pack so many clothes.”

“Yes, I do. You’re a boy; you don’t understand.”

“First off, I am not a boy. I am a man, and a very attractive one at that.”

You rolled your eyes. Even if you wholeheartedly agreed, you were not going to stroke his ego.

“At the very least, lose most of the makeup. You’ll just sweat it off anyway. And you know I like you better without all that gunk on your face.”

“It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t like, now does it?” you snarked.

He sat up and leaned back against the pillows at the headboard. “I just meant that you’re already so pretty, naturally.”

Shawn was always finding little ways to compliment you and, secretly, you loved it, even if it made you blush, even if it was hard to believe some days.

“Fine.” You threw your hands up in the air in frustration. “You pack for me then.”

“Fine. I will.” He stood from the bed and poked your side. “So dramatic,” he teased, dancing his fingertips from ribcage to hip.

You gave him a small shove, and quickly moved out of tickling range (he knew where your most sensitive spots were). You stuck your tongue out at him.

“Don’t stick it out unless you intend to use it,” he smirked.

“Ha! You wish,” you giggled.

~ * ~

You and Shawn.

It was...confusing.

You had first met him five months ago and had become a regular fixture in his life over the past three. You were friends, good friends. Good friends who spent a ridiculous amount of time together. Good friends who flirted. A lot.

There were feelings, definitely on your side, growing stronger every day you spent together, and you were starting to believe there were deeper feelings on his side as well.

Other than outright pressing your lips to his, and you had never really been that forward with anyone, you weren’t sure what to do to tip the scales from friendship and flirtation to more.

You could simply tell him you were falling for him and that you wanted to take your relationship to the next level, but that scared you even more than the thought of kissing him.

~ * ~

Fifteen minutes later, Shawn stood smugly beside you. Your bag was packed neatly, and you were happy with everything he chose (not that you would admit that to him), which showed you he knew you better than you thought he did. There was even enough room left over for accessories.

It shouldn’t have surprised you; he was pretty adept at packing, having been on tour so often.

“Shut up,” you mumbled.

“I didn’t even say anything!”

“But you want to.”

Shawn laughed.

You only added two things, just to prove a point.

~ * ~

You may as well have been in Florida with only Brian and Connor for as often as Shawn had been around the first two days.

The trip had started out incredibly.

You took a redeye from LA to Miami. Shawn held your hand during takeoff and landing. It was your first time flying first class; you didn’t care that you slept through most of it.

Shawn had rented a 3-bedroom beachfront bungalow for the long weekend and had ordered a breakfast basket to be waiting for you when you got there. Everyone ate their fill of croissants and muffins and fresh fruit while you sipped your tea and coffee. Afterward you all agreed that a morning nap poolside sounded ideal.

Shawn claimed the double lounger for the two of you. You curled up beside him and he threw a light blanket over both his and your legs. You laid your head on his shoulder and were asleep within minutes.

When you opened your eyes again, after the best nap you may have ever had in your life thus far, Shawn was no longer beside you. You could see him just inside the back door, talking on his phone.

“Hey,” he announced, returning to the patio, after seeing that you, Brian, and Connor had all awoken. “I’m going to catch up with Camila. I’ll text you after lunch; see where you are.”

~ * ~

You didn’t see Shawn again that first day until you were making plans to spend the evening in South Beach for sunset drinks, dinner, and then a pub crawl for even more drinking.

The boys teased you for being such a lightweight. You were blissfully buzzed, which made it easier for you to let your inhibitions go. Shawn was more intoxicated than you were, which made it a lot easier for you to tug him onto the dance floor.

Flush against him while you moved together to the music, fingertips grazing bare skin, it was too easy to forget that you had been upset with him at all.

Spending all afternoon at the Bayside Market in the hot Miami sun, followed by a night of drinking and dancing into the very early hours of the morning had finally caught up with you. By the time you made it back to the bungalow, you were piggyback on Shawn, your sandals dangling from his fingers by the straps.

~ * ~

Day 2 began with three boys nursing hangovers much worse than yours. You did little things to annoy them, on purpose, which was, admittedly, not very nice of you. You knew they’d had enough when they decided to throw you in the pool. When Shawn reached out, laughing, to help you out, you pulled him in instead.

He chased you into one of the corners of the deep end, trapping you between the pool wall and his hard, wet chest, his arms on either side of you. You had to hold onto his biceps to keep yourself afloat, which, from the look in his eyes, was exactly how and where he wanted you.

Your heart was telling you to use this position to your advantage, finally tip those scales, and you might have if it had been the night before when you were a little drunk. Regretfully, you were sober and when you were sober you tended to overthink things. Now that you were sober, he was too close.

You ducked underwater, under his arm, and quickly pulled yourself out of the pool.

~ * ~

Once you were dry and dressed, you dragged Shawn, Connor, and Brian to Wynwood to go on a golf cart tour of the Walls. They had all been to Miami before, more than once, so they had put you in charge of the itinerary.

From Wynwood you made your way to Little Havana.

After a string of late afternoon texts from Camila, Shawn asked if she could join the four of you for dinner. He wanted you to meet her.

They tried their best to be inclusive throughout dinner, and Camila was certainly nice enough, but still you felt like the fifth wheel, the spare, most of the time.

After dinner, Shawn and Camila wandered off together. When it became clear that Shawn wouldn’t be returning to the house with the rest of you, your heart sank. You stewed in your hurt until it became anger.

You understood that Camila was one of Shawn’s best friends, and he hadn’t seen her for a while. You could forgive him for the day before, but this was supposed to be your trip. You, Brian, Connor, and Shawn. D'Artagnan and the Three Musketeers. If all Shawn had wanted to do was hang out with Camila, why had he bothered to invite you at all? You held no grudge against or felt any ill will toward Camila. It wasn’t her fault that Shawn was being a clueless dick.

~ * ~

You were laying on your side, looking out the window of which you forgot to close the blinds. The moon reflected off the still water of the pool that you could see from your room.

You heard the quietest clearing of someone’s throat. You rolled over to see Shawn leaning against the frame of the doorway, bare chested, in soft gray pajama bottoms.

“Couldn’t sleep?” you asked softly. You couldn’t sleep either, even though you were exhausted.

You really didn’t want to spend the remainder of your time in Miami being angry with him. There were still two days left. You patted the mattress on the empty side of your bed. That was all the invitation he needed.

Shawn crawled into bed beside you, tugged on the open collar of the other half of his pajamas, and chuckled, “Thief.”

“It’s so soft, and it smells like you,” you whispered.

Shawn laid his head on your stomach and you instinctively started to run your fingers through his hair, tugging gently on his curls. You heard him sigh deeply, contentedly, and the next thing you remembered was waking up to the bright morning sun.

~ * ~

You smiled and stretched languidly. Shawn must have made his way back to his own room during the night sometime. You didn’t hear anyone else up and about yet. You decided to surprise the boys by making breakfast.

Brian and Connor stumbled into the kitchen, following the smell of sizzling bacon and strong coffee.

“Is Shawn still sleeping?” you asked.

Connor and Brian exchanged a look. Connor cleared his throat and said, “Shawn isn’t here.”

You didn’t even have to ask where he had gone. Returning to your room you retrieved your phone on the nightstand. You hadn’t bothered to check it when you woke up.

There was a group text from Shawn that read:

Grabbing a workout and then a quick breakfast with Camila. Be back soon.

Brian and Connor were nearly finished eating when Shawn returned, oblivious to what he was walking into. He grabbed a few slices of bacon and sat down to join them at the kitchen island.

“Where’s (y/n)?”

Brian and Connor shook their heads at him. “You can be such a prick sometimes,” Brian said. Both he and Connor then stood and left the room.

Confused, Shawn glanced around and suddenly it all made sense. “Shit,” he said to himself, under his breath.

~ * ~

Shawn stood in your bedroom doorway like he had the night before.

“I’m sorry, (y/n).”

You refused to acknowledge him.

“I didn’t know you were going to make breakfast or I would have been back sooner.”

You wanted to bite at him that he shouldn’t have been gone at all.

You had just pulled on your swimsuit cover up when you turned to him. His eyes snapped from your ass to your eyes. You slipped on your sunglasses, grabbed your beach bag, and said, “Brian, Connor, and I will be on the beach, if you decide you want to join us.” You pushed past him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he replied.

~ * ~

You purposely chose to wear the smallest, sexiest bikini you had with you. It wasn’t one you yourself would have packed but since Shawn had been the one to pack your carry on he must have wanted to see you in it. The day you bought it was a day when you were feeling particularly confident in your body.

By the time Shawn made it down to the beach, he found you in conversation with two young men who weren’t Brian or Connor. You had removed your cover up and stood before them in your tiny white string bikini.

You were laughing at something one of them was saying. Shawn saw you reach out and briefly place your hand on his forearm.

Shawn was unprepared for the surge of violent irritation that nearly overtook him.

He saw you notice him. He bristled when you leaned in and said something in the other man's ear. He watched as you slid the temple tip of your sunglasses between your teeth. He saw you put your hand on your waist and slightly arch your back. He watched as you touched the small pendant of the necklace you were wearing and drew it away from the skin between your breasts.

Shawn hated the way the two men were looking at you. His stomach churned; his muscles tensed; his heart felt too tight in his chest. He couldn't take anymore.

Sidling up beside you, he wrapped his large hand around the nape of your neck, gently yet possessively.

“Oh, hi Shawn,” you said casually, shrugging out of his grip. “Meet my new friends, Chase and Evan.” You smiled at them, fluttering your eyelashes and biting softly on your lower lip.

“Boyfriend?” Chase asked.

“Oh no, Shawn and I are just friends.” You eased closer to Evan and reached out, meaning to touch the bracelet he was wearing, but before you could, Shawn grabbed your wrist.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he gritted through a fake smile, pulling you away.

“Let go of me,” you snapped. He did, immediately. He never had nor would he ever do anything to physically hurt you.

Brian and Connor, having seen more than enough, hurried toward you. They made you and Shawn take a step back.

“What the hell is going on?” Connor exclaimed.

“(Y/n) is being childish,” Shawn growled.

Maybe you were, but you were upset, goddamn it. “Me?! Look who’s talking! You’re acting like a jealous boyfriend! You have no claim on me!”

“You’re both being childish!” bit Brian. “And you’re starting to cause a scene. Get over yourselves and fucking talk like adults. If you can’t, walk away,” he admonished.

Shawn ran a hand through his hair and tugged frustratingly on his curls before storming off.

Brian gestured for Connor to stay with you and he followed after Shawn.

“Why did you have to antagonize him?” Connor questioned.

You glared at him. “This is not my fault. Of course you’re on his side.”

“I am on no one’s side. You’re both at fault, and you fucking know it. Yeah, he’s kind of been an asshole, but you didn’t have to flirt with those guys so brazenly right in front of him.” Connor’s voice softened. “You know how he feels about you, (y/n). You should apologize.”

You were thoroughly abashed but still feeling stubborn. You turned on Connor and said, “I will when he does.”

You put your cover up back on, slipped into your sandals, and grabbed your clutch which held your wallet, your eReader, and your phone. You trusted Connor to bring everything else back to the bungalow for you.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“For a walk. I need to be alone.”

~ * ~

The sun was going down when you returned to the house.

When you walked in the door, Shawn, who had been sitting on the edge of the ottoman, stood, and approached you cautiously. He rubbed the back of his neck. “You were starting to worry us,” he said softly.

“I’m sorry. I needed some time to cool off and to think.”

“I’m just glad you’re safe.” His relief was palpable. He stepped even closer to you. “I’m sorry. For how I acted and what I said on the beach. It’s inexcusable.”

“I am, too. I should never have purposely tried to upset you.” You unconsciously reached out and ran your fingertips along the V of Shawn’s t-shirt. “That was the first time we’ve ever fought... I didn’t like it.”

He covered your hand with his, flattening your palm against his heart, which you could feel was beating quite quickly. “Come and have dinner. It’s time to stop thinking and start talking.”

He smirked and began walking backward, hand still over yours.

It was that smirk that set your heart thumping. You followed, curiously, anxiously.

On the back patio was a romantic table set for two, surrounded by tea lights and lit candles.

“Shawn? What’s going on?” you asked, breathlessly.

He crossed to the table and pulled one of the chairs out for you. ��Sit, Love. Eat.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“What?” He felt as if his heart might break.

“Too many butterflies.” You softly bit your bottom lip.

“Oh,” he breathed.

“Can we talk first?”

“Of course.”

You walked over to and sat down on the outdoor sectional.

Shawn dropped down beside you with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, (y/n). I’ve been, well, an asshole seems to be the overall consensus. I shouldn’t have ditched you to spend so much time with Camila.”

“I know you’re close,” you said, “and I know it had been awhile since you’d seen her. I tried to be understanding.”

“No,” he interrupted, “this is on me. This was supposed to be our trip. You, Brian, Connor, and me.”

“D'Artagnan and the Three Musketeers,” you said in unison and you both laughed.

Shawn leaned closer you. “Do you want to know the truth?” he asked, as if it was the greatest secret he held, which, to him, it was. “She was talking me through my feelings for you.” He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “She made it very clear to me that I was ‘estúpido’ for spending time with her instead of the person I should be, for talking through my feelings with her instead of with the one I really needed to talk with.”

“You have feelings for me?” you breathed, feeling your entire body flush, not just your cheeks.

Shawn laughed softly and took your hands in his, intertwining your fingers. “It’s not obvious? I was jealous of those other guys because I want to be the boyfriend. I want the right to call you mine... I’m falling in love with you, (y/n). Which is insane since we haven’t even kissed yet. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to; every time I see you I want to kiss you.”

Without warning, you pressed your lips to his. It took him not even a moment to respond, pulling you onto his lap and cupping your face. Kissing Shawn was even better than you had ever imagined it would be.

When finally you eased away from him, breathless, you confessed, “I’m falling in love with you too, Shawn. I want you to be mine. I want to be only yours.”

“Does that mean I can kiss you whenever I want to?” he whispered, grinning happily.

“Over and over and over again,” you breathed.

His lips once more met yours. Your hands encircled the nape of his neck. Tender and unhurried turned deep and delicious.

Your lips left his with an audible ‘aʘa’ and you giggled. “Can we eat now? I’m starving.”

Shawn’s answering laugh, rich and lightsome, was everything.

~ * ~

@mendesblurb @benito-mi-vida

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fiction #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes x you

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thesafecafe · 4 years ago

Text

Ateez Reaction: Their S/O feels insecure about their body/skin (8/8)

Anon request: “I'd love to request a reaction/scenario thing for Ateez dealing with their s/o feeling insecure about their body/skin (maybe bc of hate from toxic fans, a comment one of the members said themselves that wasn't meant to be hurtful, etc.) and how they'd deal with it? you can make it suggestive too if you want!! thanks so much love

Author’s Note: I’ll try to be inclusive of all body types here! Remember my loves, all body and skin types are beautiful! Whatever shape or shade you come in is beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you different!

TW: mentions of negative comments on weight, skin, etc., toxic fan behavior. If you find any of this triggering, please do not read. You have been warned.

Hongjoong:

You stood in front of the mirror, crying

You gripped onto the front of your stomach, trying to pinch it all together and make it seem smaller

You had been excited just a few days ago when your boyfriend suggested that you model some of the clothes he designed

He was excited to have you be a part of his photoshoot

He’d went over poses and cute couple outfits he’d designed specifically for the two of you

He even had matching shoes and accessories for y’all

You’d walked into the studio, ready and excited

But as you were getting your makeup done in preparation for the shoot, you heard your boyfriend speaking with someone

Curious, you kindly asked the makeup lady to pause her actions of putting the finishing touches on you

You walked towards the sounds of the voices, hearing your boyfriend’s best friend talking heatedly with him

“Seonghwa, you can’t tell me what to do, this is my damn shoot-”

“And how the fuck is Y/N going to fit into this shit?”

You walked off before you you could hear Seonghwa clarify

“It’s so last minute, and you know these WILL NOT fit! Our designs run small and your dumbass forgot to order them in Y/N’s size!”

Hongjoong reluctantly agreed, going to find you and tell you he’d have to reschedule the shoot for two weeks later

He found you crying, and obviously asked what was wrong

When you explained to him what you had heard, he was quick to wipe your tears

“No, sweetheart, that’s not what he meant at all, shh, don’t cry”

He swiftly explained what Seonghwa had said after you left, cheering you up

“Don’t ever think of yourself badly sweetheart! You’re perfect the way you are, and I love you regardless. Now, after I go kick Seonghwa’s ass, why don’t we go get ice cream, okay?”

Seonghwa:

You were walking down the street with Seonghwa

You were enjoying the calm atmosphere with him, holding onto his hand as he kept you close

You were visiting newer places in the city together, a favorite past time the both of you shared

So far, everything was going smoothly; you had visited a new tea shop, a bookstore, and a cut little thrift shop

You both were carrying a few bags between you

You were on your way to a record store when Seonghwa spotted a flower stand

Since he was feeling particularly romantic today, he decided to go buy you some flowers

He led you to a bench, sitting you down as he walked up to the flower stand

As you enjoyed the atmosphere, two girls walked by, clearly in the mood for trouble

“Ugh, look at this. She’s got scars all over her face. Look at the scarred pig.”

“Isn’t this Park Seonghwa’s girlfriend? I didn’t know he was into wild beasts” They started making animal noises at you, making you want to cry

They pulled your hair and knocked over your bags as you tried to fight them off

You cried out particularly loud when they pulled your hair extra hard

Suddenly, you were drawn back into someone’s .arms, the assault on your frame halting immediately

“If you bitches don’t walk the fuck away from my girlfriend now, you will leave here in body bags” Seonghwa snapped at the girls, scaring them off

He immediately pulled you into his arms, shushing your cries

He knew that your facial scars and weight were sensitive spots for you, and you hated when people spoke of them like they were a disease

“Don’t worry about those miserable girls baby, you are so beautiful. If I have to prove it to you everyday. then I will.”

Yunho:

Now Yunho shows his love through affection

Gifts, flowers, dates, spending time with you, the usual boyfriend stuff

But he is especially physically affectionate

He loved cuddling you, and he was always holding on to some part of your body

He loved laying on across your lap, having his head on your chest as he laid on you, having you in his lap, or just holding your hand as he sprawled across the bed, watching YouTube videos

It took you a while to get used to it, since you weren’t fond of your body or anyone touching it

Your family had instilled it into you that you didn’t look “how a girl was supposed too”

Even going as far as saying that only your period defined your femininity, since your body proportions weren’t like theirs

You were on the slimmer side, a little thicker in your leg and hip area, but that was about as much weight as you’d gained anywhere since high school

They’d pinch you and call you names like “little boy,” or “young man” and make fun of you for having a small chest

But Yunho loved you, and took his time to make sure you were comfortable with him

He knew what your family had done, and he wasn’t particularly fond of them

It made him extra protective over you whenever someone had anything to say about your appearance

Yunho saw you crying and upset over a comment a fan had made, saying that you looked like a boy and should “eat more to fill out”

He pulled you into his arms, encasing you in his warmth

“Baby, you are so beautiful to me. I don’t care how you look, as long as you’re healthy and happy. But” he leaned closer, down to your ear, lips lightly grazing it

“I can go all night showing you exactly how much I love your body. Would you like that?”

Yeosang:

Yeosang doesn’t tolerate bullshit

No matter who it’s from: relatives, friends, fans, etc.

That includes you

Yeosang had already made it clear, he loved you for you, not how you looked

Your looks were just a bonus to him, and he wouldn’t tolerate self deprecating talk

He appreciated how you looked, and was always complimenting you

He even held “self love” sessions once a week for the both of you, airing out your insecurities in a safe environment and accepting your flaws together

But he noticed you were acting off this week

Turning down any seconds or leftovers of whatever Seonghwa would make for everyone

And not accepting when Yeosang would take from his own plate and put it on yours

Yeosang was concerned, but what really took the cake?

You turned down your weekend ritual of eating Yeosang’s favorite food, his precious fried chicken

“Alright, that’s it! Who are you and what have you done to my Y/N?!”

He was absolutely in shock when you told him that you wanted to lose weight

“WHAT? LOSE WEIGHT? FOR WHO? WHY?”

He’s extra af

“A lot of the fans think that I should lose weight, and, I mean, it would be a lot better if you were wi-”

Yeosang shut you up immediately, picking you up and carrying you to his room

“Kang Yeosang, put me down!”

“No! Y/N, we’ve had this conversation over and over again. You’re beautiful and shouldn’t change for anyone. But since talking doesn’t seem to help you get a clue,”

He set you on his bed, crawling on top of you

“Maybe something a little more hands on will have to do. Strip for me will you?”

San:

I dare you to challenge him on your beauty or self worth

He is ready to fight you and whoever else doesn’t think you’re beautiful the way you are

Will 100% throw hands with anyone, fans, haters, his members, that one 5 year old on the sidewalk, etc.

This time in particular though, it is not you or the members on San’s list of violence

You were at a fair in his hometown, on vacation with him and and the members

You were enjoying your time there, happily holding hands with San as you ate your ice cream, the members on various sides of you

San was keeping a protective eye on you

He knew people from his town could be a little judgmental, and they often made borderline rude or just plain offensive comments

You were a foreigner from a western country, with curlier hair and skin the color of almonds

He already saw you getting looks and whispers start floating around, so he asked the members to form a protective circle of sorts around you

The members were on board, since they saw it too

They didn’t want your vacation ruined by closed minded people

You didn’t seem to notice anything was off

Until you were all seated in a restaurant, and it was time to order

The waiter had taken everyone’s orders but you and San’s, but he made a face when he came around

“Excuse me, but we don’t serve people of your... complexion.”

That set your boyfriend off

Asked what was wrong with your complexion, in a dangerously sweet tone that the members knew all too well

Seonghwa and Hongjoong escorted you and the members outside before you heard a loud commotion happening inside

“Shouldn’t we have brought San too?” You ask, a frown settling on your features

Seonghwa chuckled, “No, he’ll be alright. But let’s get you some food from the hotel, you’re gonna need your energy when he’s done. Hope you brought crutches”

Mingi:

Confused boi

Came home to find you crying, covering yourself with a blanket

“Baby? What’s wrong? Why are you all covered up?”

Tried to pull you into his arms

But got startled when you screamed at him to leave you alone

He was shocked, and a little hurt, but he was determined not to give up

You heard the front door slam, and you figured you had really made him angry

Which made you sob harder, since you never meant to take out your anger on him

Mingi came back about 45 minutes later, his arms full

“Baby? I know you weren’t feeling all too well earlier, but I got something for you!”

You looked up to see Mingi had gotten your favorite food, at least two dozen roses, and a few stuffed animals

“Mingi, you didn’t have to-”

He cut you off, pulling you into a hug

He rubbed your back, humming a soft song his mom would sing to him when he was having a bad day

Whenever he did this, he knew you’d take a few minutes to just gather yourself and tell him what was bothering you

No matter what, it always seemed to work, and today was no different

“Mingi, please...please don’t leave me ever” you cried into his shirt, tears soaking through it

His heart broke to hear how broken you sounded; he never had any intentions of leaving you, and he voiced as much

“Why would you even think that love? I love you so much, I’d never leave you”

You explained that for the past month, the recent hate from fans had been getting under your skin, and although you tried to ignore their comments on your weight and not so flawless skin,

You’d reached your breaking point trying to hold it all in

“Everyday it just gets worse and worse and I’m so tired Mingi. I’m so tired”

Mingi held you you and let you pour out all your feelings

He whispered assurances to you, as you broke in his arms

Wooyoung:

San 2.0, but louder

Will not ask questions

Will not exchange insults

It will be a WWE smackdown on sight, idol image be damned

If you got a funny look in the bookstore?

If some random person was judging you for how much ice cream you wanted?

No matter what it was, Wooyoung would fight first and ask questions later

He didn’t care if he got in trouble, nothing and no one would make you feel like you were less than perfect

Not as long as he had anything to say about it

And he always had something positive to say about your appearance

Whether it be how beautiful you looked with or without makeup, or the style of your clothes,

Wooyoung could never get enough of you

He always made sure to make you feel loved and secure

He couldn’t find a reason for your insecurities, since he thought you were sent right down from heaven on a cloud

But he understood, since he had his own insecurities, and he knew everyone had something about themselves that they battled with

But he couldn’t stand seeing you cry, especially about what others thought of you

So when he saw you doing exactly that, because one of the members (cough, San, cough), had said you “looked like you fell off a hay ride”

He went demon mode, chasing San around the dorm

“I DIDN’T MEAN IT WOOYOUNG, I WAS ONLY KIDDING”

“YEAH WELL I’M ONLY SERIOUS ABOUT SHOVING MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS, GET BACK HERE!”

He eventually caught up to him, whacking the back of his head and making him apologize

“I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to make you cry” San rubbed the back of his head, wincing at how much force had been put behind the blow

“Now Sannie, if you want to properly apologize to Y/N, you’ll do it on your knees like a good boy, hm?”

Jongho:

Being the youngest in the group often meant that people underestimated him

And those who hadn’t witnessed his strength in person were usually more bold than those who had

He didn’t mind this, as it often worked in his favor

He was walking with you on a date, but had security escorting you, since he knew things could get a bit dangerous

He wasn’t exactly afraid of getting hurt, but more so the fact that you could get hurt made him be extra cautious when in public with you

He was taking you to one of his favorite restaurants

It was a fancier place, very quiet and one of the main hangout spots for celebrities and idols of all kinds

He knew you weren’t all that used to eating Korean food yet, so he was trying to teach you items on the menu

Laughing when you were clearly confused at some dishes

“Ah, babe, just order whatever you want. They have American food here”

He patted your hand, giving you a warm smile

The moment was interrupted, however, when a crazed fan hopped from behind a fake plant, slipping past security and screaming as she charged towards you

“YOU UGLY EYED CREATURE! YOU CAN’T EVEN ORDER PROPER FOOD! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE WITH HIM!!”

She continued yelling insults about your eyes (you had heterochromia)

Jongho snatched her back before she could tackle you out of your chair

You were shocked, staying planted in your seat, as you saw Jongho lift the girl by her collar off the ground

“If I see you ever again, I’ll send you back to the hell you came from. Do you understand me?”

His voice had dropped dangerously low, sending chills down your spine

The girl nodded before Jongho handed her off to two of the security guards, watching as they dragged her away

“Baby, are you okay? Do you wanna go home?” Jongho’s attitude had done a whole 360

It was as if nothing just happened

Feeling severely judged by all the stares that you were receiving from that girl causing a scene, you agreed

Once you were back in the car, you turned to Jongho

“Are my eyes really that bad?”

“Darling, your eyes are perfect. You can’t let the opinions of jealous people ruin the way you view yourself. You’re perfect the way you are, and if anyone disagrees, fuck their opinion.”

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amazingphilza · 4 years ago

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maniac :: cc!tommy x reader

angst (?) , platonic (?) , gender neutral ! ib: conan gray’s maniac

this is satire & note that i write the reader to be a few months younger than tommy (besides that, i think it is fully inclusive !)

synopsis : you put all your hard work towards a useless crush. with no expectation for reciprocated feelings in the first place, it still all ends in a bittersweet slap to reality.

you grew up with minecraft and it was an understatement to say it was part of your childhood

even years later, you still maintained interested in the game

it wasn’t just a simple video game, the community inspired you to do many things

you aspired to be like the creators you watched at a young age like sky, dantdm, cupquake, stampy, and many more

making people happy and entertained was a dream

and when minecraft slowly began trending again in 2019, you started making your own content whenever you felt like it out of fun

you never got much views but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless

but it wasn’t until the first minecraft monday you decided to push a bit more with your hobbies and worked hard to make it somewhere

however balancing your passions with school wasn’t the easiest

given, you were still only around 15 and your content wasn’t even that good

with not much of a goal or plan with your youtube channel, you fell out of interest eventually

you loved minecraft but you always a rocky relationship with it; getting back into it for a few months then pretending it never really existed for another few

besides the occasional videos you watched in your pass time, you didn’t stay that updated

then lockdown happened

it changed everything and even got you regressing back to old interests

soon enough you were back to minecraft

there was so much to catch up on

hermitcraft season 7 just started, there was minecraft championships, and smp earth and smp live, and so much more to look forward to watching

you were a bit late on both of the smps but your interest peaked specially towards smp earth and it didn’t stop you from watching the past videos

you first gravitated towards a certain youtuber’s videos first since you remember stumbling onto his videos before from your recommended page; wilbur soot

besides recognizing him from his you laugh you lose series and making parody-type of songs, you didn’t know much

however with a few clicks, you had binge watched his smp earth series effortlessly

you found yourself falling down the endless hole, finding more creators to watch through wilbur

one in particular caught your eye in an interesting way

tommyinnit

my god, how can someone be so annoying and pushy in these videos? like shut up already

and to find out he was barely months older than you frustrated you

you just wanted to be better in some way

if someone like him could be popular, why can’t you? yelling at others and causing problems didn’t seem that hard

and so you went back to working hard on your previously failed youtube channel but this time with a goal; be better than tommyinnit

it was a weird aspiration in your head but it worked

he was your age and successful, why need a better motivator?

tommy wasn’t the sole reason why you strive to make content since you truly did want to create videos to entertain people like the youtubers you originally grew up watching

and with the amount of free time you had, you thoroughly analyzed his content; what was the most popular, how he streamed, edited his videos, everything

you just completely studied the algorithm in general

along the way, tommy’s personality grew on you

tommy was undoubtedly a very loud and energetic person but you became fond of his ambitions

you understood why he was popular at such a young age; he was a natural entertainer

your spite towards the boy turned into a hope

a hope to be at par with him someday and even be mutuals

and it was like your dreams were suddenly manifested into existence

you gained a large following in the early months of lockdown and even was recognized to be apart of minecraft championships

it felt like yesterday that you were just watching your favorite youtubers livestream the same competition

and now you were situation in a team to play yourself for the first time instead of being a viewer for once

not to mention, with tommyinnit as a teammate

how did you manage to get so lucky?

under the excitement, you felt beyond never nervous waiting in the empty discord call for your team to join you to practice the mini-games

in the middle of gathering your thoughts together, you heard a sound from discord signaling someone joined the call

“uh, hello?”

you heard the familiar british accent you spent hours listening to from countless streams and videos

“h-hi! i’m y/n, how are you?”

you hoped tommy couldn’t hear the strain in your voice due to fighting your nerves, but you quietly celebrated that you didn’t freeze up altogether

“oh i’m good, thank you. and i’m tommy by the way, this is the first time we’re speaking, yeah?”

“yep! it’s nice to meet you”

“yeah, i’ve seen your name around the timeline a few times, you seem cool”

oh my god what?

“thanks! um i actually really enjoy your content not gonna lie”

“oh wow, good shit!”

and the conversation smoothly went on, bouncing back and forth between you two before your other two teammates joined the call

once everyone was situated, you decided to start streaming since it was your first mcc and you wanted a vod of you practicing to look at later on as a memory

your chat immediately noticed how much you were enjoying yourself, especially after all the short stories of talking about who inspired you in the past

the smile plastered on your face never left

after stream and your other teammates went offline, it was you and tommy left in the call once together again

“it was nice talking to you tommy! and the practice was really fun, i cant wait for the actual competition!”

“yeah definitely, we’ll for sure place high”

“hopefully. it’s my first time and i hope i don’t cost us the dub”

“nah, you think so? i mean rt and plumbella are also our team mates so you know, it’s all for fun in the end”

you knew tommy was implying the teamwork wasn’t going to be the best compared to the other teams but at least in the end you’ve both made a new friend

“yeah you’re right!”

“anyway it’s getting late imma hop off”

“okay tommy, talk to you soon?”

“yep!”

“alright byee”

“bye!”

the moment he left the call, you felt a sense of relief before a small wave of sadness took over

you wanted to continue talking to tommy but you knew you had other responsibilities to tend to

for the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking of the call and mcc practice

the funny jokes, singing random songs, screaming for no reason, everything

it even kept you awake until the early morning

you buried your head in a pillow and screamed into it after realization hit

y/n no

no no no no no no no

you tried to recall anything that remotely related your other teammates which you remembered that didn’t include tommy

even if it was a few hours ago, you couldn’t pin point something specific

i must just be forgetful, right?

what the hell did rt and plumbella even say that whole call?

you vividly remembered everything with tommy and it was clear to you why

surely not

with putting a hand on your chest above your heart, you confirmed that you couldn’t lie to yourself based on the rapid speed

you liked tommy for a good while but it hadn’t clicked to you until now

eventually you fell asleep due to exhaustion but that’s to say you didn’t do so without imagining spending more time with tommy

ever since that day, time went by in a flash

your team didn’t do the best in mcc but it had been a while since then to have that as a concern

sadly you and tommy didn’t talk as often as you hoped but that didn’t make you have less feelings for him

on some days you felt bad since you thought you didn’t know enough about him to even be allowed to crush on him

it was a bit unprofessional but you were nearly 16, it’s normal to have these little crushes right?

eventually time came to rescue when tommy asked you if you wanted to accompany him in the dream smp

undoubtedly, you said yes

and for the few months during summer, it was where you two became even closer than before

however, once both of you two had to go back and attend school, it was harder to catch up with each other

even on calls together off stream, the occasional snapchat notification going off irked you in a way you couldn’t explain

only winter break was the small pause on your disappointment

but even then, it was a slow but steady hill of repressed sadness and frustration until early spring of the following year

you had hoped 2021 would be better than last year but after scrolling through twitter one day and seeing stans making rumors about how tommy had a crush on one of his classmates gave you the same pain you felt when school started last fall

you dreaded to look over at tommy’s most recent story time stream vod where all the gossip arose from; it was him stumbling over his words with the mention of a girl during a certain part

jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe the way you felt

you would never go out of your way to make tommy reciprocate the feelings you had for him

and if he liked someone else the way you saw him, you wouldn’t mind

having a crush is ecstatic, and if he has someone like that too, you should be happy

right?

you tried

what finally broke you was seeing a tiktok a few weeks later of tommy in college with eryn and another girl talking

you didn’t know how she looked like or anything but you wanted to sob

good for him

she didn’t even say much in the video and you dont know enough about tommy’s personal life to jump to conclusions like this

you knew you were acting irrational and you couldn’t be upset at tommy for something he couldn’t control

if anything, you never directly showed interest in him

you didn’t want to in the first place

it was a bad idea from the start

you looked back at the past year and all your intentions

what kind of sick fanfiction did you think you were living?

becoming a content creator, hoping to blow up, just to talk to a big youtuber you had a crush on?

oh my god

y/n what is wrong with you?

listen to yourself, y/n

you need to get some help

whether tommy was dating or even just had interest someone was none of your business

you had to move on no matter what it was and be good and supportive friend

it was dreadful to get over a stupid crush like this but after so much work you put in, you gave some sympathy for yourself

in a friend perspective, you were happy with whatever tommy did and was satisfied your friendship together, but you hadn’t realized how much you gambled from the beginning

and just for a crush?

you couldn’t comprehend how far you gone because you fancied someone

it wasn’t like anyone could get famous and become a popular content creator either

and now with you being on the dream smp along with a successful youtube channel at 16? you were grateful something pushed you enough to work this hard

but you’d never forget the fact everything that lead up to this point was a crush on no other than tommyinnit which first spurred from complete spite

“who’s the one better off now?” your thoughts mocked you from the complete irony

sigh

y/n, you maniac

#idk whether to actually call this platonic but it’s not exactly romance so #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit fanfic #tommyinnit imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x you #mcyt fanfic #mcyt imagine

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greed-the-dorkalicious · 6 years ago

Note

Wait what happened to Thomas Sanders???

Basically, Thomas Sanders (who, btw, is gay) used to be basically the celebrated Unproblematic Fav Uwu of Tumblr and Vine. Everyone loved him, everyone praised him for being inclusive and positive, making fun and unique vines that were appropriate and enjoyable for any age group.

Then one day he got an aphobic ask (I honestly don’t remember what this was even in response to, I think it was some really innocent one-off “I hope asexuals have a good day” type of post or something like that, idek), to which he wrote a long and sincere response that basically summed up to “Hey, that’s not a nice attitude to have, please take a moment to think about how other people must feel and why it’s so important to you to shut them down”

Within literal hours (and this is something I witnessed myself, I was online when it all went down), a smear campaign against him had started. Suddenly even people who had previously been huge fans of him were shit-talking him left and right, declaring him cringey, and grasping at straws to make “callout posts” for him. One popular argument I remember hearing was- And I shit you not, I am not making this up- He was a “pedophile” because he made videos for a family demographic and has a young-looking face, but was 29 or whatever and therefore “pretending to be a kid” or whatever the fuck. He even, gasp, made vines about high school, despite not being a high schooler himself! (Dan Green voice) That’s called “acting”, children!

His popularity never really recovered, and these days he’s mostly considered “cringey” by a large portion of the internet due to the main demographic most of his fans fall into, because you know it’s hip and cool to shame young girls and queer kids for the things that bring them joy.

So yeah, TL;DR used to be pretty well liked by the majority of Tumblr with nobody really having anything bad to say about him, expressed support for aspecs one day, immediately fell victim to exclusionist harrassment and is now at best considered just a cringey teenage girl thing.

#Anonymous #Asks

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anomia-sama · 4 years ago

Text

Akutagawa x Reader | Dark Chocolate

Pairing: Ryuunosuke Akutagawa x Reader

Warnings: Gender neutral reader (they/them), probably uncorrect english, curses, verbal aggression.

Notes: Nobody asked for it, this Headcanon is just my way to wish you a happy St. Valentine’s Day, full of love, warmth and affection; even if you’re single, you deserve to celebrate love. Love for yourself, love for you significant others, love for your life! I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Small reminder: In Japanese tradition, only women give chocolates to men, but I wanted to write a more inclusive Headcanon, so I used Gender Neutral pronouns. There’s a huge difference between Honmei Choco and Giri Choco. The so-called Honmei choco (known as the "true feeling chocolate") is given by women to men whom they have romantic feelings for, like husbands, boyfriends or desired partners. It is a qualitatively better chocolate, and it’s generally quite expensive, but sometimes it can be home-made. The so-called Giri choco (known as "obligation chocolate") is given by women to male co-workers or friends, as a customary gift. It’s cheaper and less refined, but it’s a very apreciated symbol of respect and friendship.

◈ ━━━━━━━━ Headcanon ━━━━━━━━ ◈

Akutagawa is totally clueless about St. Valentine’s day. Seriously, he knows nothing about it! He has no idea of the cultural meanings of February 14th and he doesn’t know much about traditional gifts linked to this celebration.

First of all, he never had time to devote to such a nonsensical feast. And then, he never cared about useless things like romance and love. They’re like profanities to him.

So, when he sees you offer him an elegant and refined dark red box full of assorted chocolate, he’s a bit confused. Like…what the hell are you doing, exactly? His deep and grey eyes sharpen in a frown, his cheek muscles unconsciously contract, but even in his confusion he looks so cute and adorable at your eyes.

He quietly stares at the box for almost five minutes, exploring every single detail of it, careful not to touch it. It’s a big and rectangular pack, he notices, closed with a thin ribbon, and he doesn’t imagine what it could contain.

It takes a while before Ryuunosuke finds the courage to look at you in the eyes and ask for clarifications.

“What is it?”

Poor boy. It’s not his fault, he’s just a bit (a lot, actually) ignorant about certain things.

He notices your bizarre and inexplicable look, that makes his gaze sharpen more and more by the second. His irises linger on your red cheeks, he can see how desperately you try to avoid eye contact and that makes him a little suspicious. Your entire body is shaking, it’s really a weird behavior…

“It’s a…gift. A Valentine’s gift, actually.” You try to explain, with trembling voice.

“A… what?”

Your heart beats so fast, in this moment. You don’t understand if the young man appreciates it or not, he just stands there, right in front of you, with a stern look and crossed arms. An unconquerable stronghold that turns your heart in dust every single time you’re in the same room.

You don’t even know when you started being so attracted to him, nor when attraction became love. You really thought offer him Honmei Choco was the most natural way to express your feelings and confess to him. But…

“Chocolate, Akutagawa-san. Just chocolate.” You murmur, now embarrassed and quite in panic. You really don’t understand if he’s rejecting you or not.

Being in love with him is a daily challenge. Akutagawa is unpredictable, fierce, a broken soul… and, well, he totally lacks in social skills. You know it, you always knew it, but that doesn’t cushion the blow when it arrives.

“Are you trying to poison me or what?”

Oh god. Is he allergic or something? Does he hate chocolate? What did you do wrong?

Your eyes widen and you finally meet his gaze. He seems angry.

The truth is Akutagawa is not used to kindness. He doesn’t know what it means to receive a gift and something like pure and selfless love, so he just thinks the worst option is the most credible.

“N-No, Akutagawa-san, I could never…”

“So is this because you failed your last mission? You really think you could corrupt me?”

His voice raises in a rough expression of anger, he makes you feel so small and defenseless. Ryuunosuke totally misunderstands your intentions, but you know you don’t deserve such a treatment, even if you love him and even if he’s your superior.

You put the box on his desk, firmly (because you’re upset, and you got the right to) but gently not to ruin it.

“I don’t want to disrespect you, Akutagawa-san, you know, or at least you should know, how much I admire you. Think what you want about this gift, I let it here. Now excuse me, I have work to do.”

You get out of his office with fast pace, your eyes shining with tears you proudly don’t cry.

At the door, you almost bump into Chuuya; the redhead was right there with a raised fist, ready to knock, but you barely notice him. You have rush to walk away.

“...The fuck happened?” He whsipers, following your silhouette with his eyes before enter Akutagawa’s office.

Obviously, the Port Mafia rabid dog has a terrible pout drawn on his face. He’s even more confused than he was before and now he even feels inexplicably weird. His chest is so heavy he’s not sure he can normally breath, his hands are closed in fists.

“Akutagawa.” Chuuya says.

“Chuuya-san.” The ravenette murmurs in response, looking at him and trying to mentally come back to his work. He has no time to think about these strange feelings, okay? He has no time to investigate why the hell he suddenly feels so bad.

“Here is a message from the Boss. He wants you to… wohoh! What do we have here?” The redhaired executive notices the box on Akutagawa’s desk and a sly smirk appears on his lips. He looks like knowing a thing or two.

“A box.” Akutagawa answers laconically. What kind of problem do they all have with boxes, today?!

“This is not just a box, man.” Chuuya seems quite intrigued and he delicately opens the box, peeking inside it. His ocean’s eyes widen a little and the older man whistles in appreciation. “My, my…”

“What?”

“This is the most fucking expensive chocolate in town. The logo is unmistakable, it comes from a famous and refined bakery.” He explains, grinning while he crosses his arms. “From whom is it? I didn’t know you were such a successful Don Juan. No offense.”

Wait, a successful WHAT?!

Akutagawa’s pale cheeks are suddenly touched by a peach colored shade of pink but there’s something in his eyes that suggests Chuuya he not fully understand the situation. The two of them looks at each other for a while, the one with a perturbed expression, the other trying not to laugh.

It’s Nakahara that breaks the silence: “Seriously, man. It’s St. Valentine’s Day, if you recieve such an expensive gift today, well... you know what it means, don’t you?”

But, against Chuuya’s expectation, Ryuunosuke perseveres in his silence. The black-coated man starts feeling uncomfortable, realizing he truly has no idea of what the other executive is talking about and rapidly avoids his inquisitive gaze. Akutagawa is clueless, okay, but he’s not stupid at all. He perfectly understands he’s not perfect (someone in his past never missed a chance to remember it to him) and he can recognize his lacks.

Chuuya, on the other hand, he’s quite more understanding than other Port Mafia members, especially when it comes to emotions and feelings. No, obviously he’s not a softie, he just understands a little more human beings and their emotive nature, so when he sees how confused Akutagawa is he sighs in exasperation.

“Man, if someone gives you expensive chocolate on St. Valentine’s Day, it’s because they have feelings for you. They like you that way. It’s a way to confess and, trust me, this is clearly the chocolate box I would only give to someone I fell fucking hard for.”

First reaction: shock!*

To our poor Ryuunosuke it’s like receiving a punch right in the stomach. His cloudy eyes widen in surprise and he’s quite sure his not-so-stoned heart lost a beat or two. So… is this the true meaning of your gift? You were trying to confess to him? You wanted to make him feel your affection? You wanted him to feel…loved?

He hisses a curse and slowly hides his face behind his left hand. Shit. He yelled at you. He accused you, just because he never thought he deserves love and affection.

“So? Whose heart did you broke?” Chuuya jokes, hearing Ryuunosuke swearing.

"Y/n L/n. I asked them if they were trying to corrupt me or poison me.” He admits with a gloomy and yet shocked tone.

In his defense, he had no idea you could have feelings for him. Let’s be honest: he never cared about certain things, but he’s not blind nor deaf. You are good looking, understanding, kind, diligent, resourceful, supportive. He is...well, he’s a demon. How could he even imagine someone like you falling in love with someone like him?

Chuuya sighs again.

“You rejected Y/n. Good fucking job, man, only an idiot like shitty Dazai could do something so stupid, you really are his worthy heir.” He says sarcastically. “They gave me chocolate too. But not such an expensive one, so I can assume their feelings are stronger then we can even imagine. Maybe you’re still in time to fix the situation. If you’re interested, of course. Are you?”

His final question sounds definetly like an insinuation and a provocation at the same time. Akutagawa narrows his feral gaze in Chuuya’s direction, meeting his allusive smirk.

He doesn’t say a single word. But he knows the answer.

Later that night, you come back from your daily mission. A successful mission, you want to specify, just to prove yourself (and someone else) you don’t need to corrupt your superior, because you’re the best in your job. Failure can occur, of course, but it’s a true rarity for you.

You just endend report to the Boss himself when you see a familiar shape standing in the corridor, next to one of the polychrome windows.

Your steps hesitate, you’re still upset and embarassed so you’re not in the right mood to face Akutagawa again, but just a second later you see he’s holding your chocolate box.

You just stop your walk, a couple of meters separate you from the man and despite distance you can see how nervous he is.

“Dark chocolate.” He suddenly says. “Dark chocolate is my favourite. But I didn’t know it before tasting one of each kind in this box.”

He avoids your gaze and his words kinda hurt you. He never tasted different kind of chocolate before today?

“The box is still full. I...I thought, maybe... sharing such a good chocolate with you would be a good idea.”

“It would be nice.” You say softly. “Dark chocolate is my favourite too.”

Your voice is trembling again. You didn’t like at all the way he treated you some hours ago, but you can see in his gesture how hard he’s trying to remediate.

“I have to apologize.” He suddenly says, and your e/c eyes widens with emotion and surprise. You perfectly know how hard is to say sorry, for a man like him, but he did it. He really did it.

“No matter what you say, I have to.” He continues. “I just... had no idea. I’m not used to all of this, and probably I’m not wort-”

“Please, don’t say that.” You firmly interrupt him and he finally looks at you.

“That’s not true. I made you the gift you deserve. And I...”

Now or never, Y/n. Now or never.

“ ...If you let me, I will give you the love you deserve, too.”

Ryuunosuke needs some time to process what you said. He stays there, his eyes in yours, incredulous. Now he feels even more guilty about the way he treated you.

How is it possible? Even after that, you still have feelings for him? Even if he yelled at you, even if he’s nothing more than a cruel and merciless rabid dog?

The silence between the two of you is dense and heavy, but not as much as your breath. He doesn’t say a word, again, and you have no idea of what to do. You did your best, today, and more.

But, you know, Akutagawa is not a word man. He doesn’t know well how to verbally express his feelings, he’s instinctive, a man of action.

“Can I kiss you, Y/n?”

Honestly, he thinks it’s kinda weird to ask something like that. But Chuuya always says consent is important and Ryuunosuke is a quiet learner. He doesn’t want to desrespect you, ever again.

You are so surprised to hear this question, and yet so happy, your eyes are filled with tears. So...does he accept your feelings? And even return them?

You slowly nod in affirmation, walking at his direction, and just a second later you wrap your arms around his body in a strong hug he tries to return properly. He’s a bit tense and awkward, but he holds you very tight.

And then he does it.

He presses his lips against yours, not gently, not softly, but with the quiet and passionate desperation of someone always yerned for love.

Yes, Akutagawa is totally clueless about love, St. Valentine’s Day, affection, human feelings. Totally clueless.

But he will learn, with you by his side. He will.

* Sorry, only Italian readers will fully understand this, but I had to.

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thestreamdreampony · 4 years ago

Text

In light of all the stuff that’s been going on on mcyttwt, I do want to bring your attention to what’s going on in the FNAF community.

As most of you already know, in the last few days mcyttwt has been indiscribably toxic. Both Tommy and Dream have decided to go on twitter hiatus, due to the harassment they received there. And I do not want to minimize their mistakes or act like they can do no wrong, but all valid criticism of their off colour statements and jokes was completely drowned out by thousands upon thousands of people just straight up harassing them. And then, upon finding out Tommy has been seeing a therapist, because the pressure has gotten to him. They decide to trend tommy neg again to accuse him of running away from his problems. That’s a whole ass child. Education can be found in places other than twitter. I can guarantee you that the people who get shit done irl, didn’t get educated there. And minecraft youtubers are not activists. That is not their job and they are not qualified or knowlegeable enough to speak on lot of these issues with any kind of authority. It is excellent when they are educated, but that is not their job and acting like it is is silly.

(For transparency’s sake, I am white myself. So please tell me if I overstep in anyway)

I do want to state again, that I absolutely do not want to diminish the hurt the minorities in question have felt at the jokes these ccs have made, but to all the white fans who keep seeing issues like this as a way to get fake internet brownie points and shout over minorities and harass the content creators. Shut up. Shut the fuck up.

You do not need to have an opinion on everything. You can acknowledge the wrong ccs do. Especially when minority fans point them out, but use that opportunity to uplift their voices, not use your own to shout over them. Use that opportunity to listen to their struggles. Use the money you’d usually buy merch and twitch subs with to donate to their causes. A lot of the time minority fans will calmly tell a cc to better their behaviour and then get completely drowned out by white people, who get a kick out of getting their “fave” to bow to them.

To them it’s all about ableism, but as soon as a cc says that twitter impacts their mental health it’s suddenly running away from their problems. The jokes they make aren’t ok, but I’d say that the myriad of boundaries these “fans” break while harassing them I’d argue is much worse behaviour than the original sin.

Ok, I apologize. i went onto a way to long tangent here. Back to my original statement. I want to bring your attention to the FNAF fandom. I myself am not in that fandom. (again, for transparency’s sake) However, today, the creator of Five Nights At Freddie’s “came out” as a proud christian republican, pro-life Trump supporter, who has donated several thousand dollars to anti-LGBT causes. This of course is an extreme example. However, I do want to point out the contrast .

Scott Cawthon is openly proud bigot and that’s not where criticism should start of course. This is a man that absolutely should be deplatformed. However, I think it puts the situation on mcyttwt a bit in perspective.

The biggest crimes Tommy and Dream have committed was jokes and off colour statement. And again, I do not want to diminish the harm those cause. Micro-aggressions are not a laughing matter. However, both of them have proven several times that they are willing to better themselves. I mentioned this in a previous post where I was mostly talking about the pride tweets, but I think a lot of younger mcyt fans lack the perspective of being around long enough to remember the mcyt fandom just 5 years ago. Or even a COD lobby nowadays. Hurling slurs at women, lgbt people and POC was and still is very normalized. We have come a really long way in this community. It’s a more inclusive gaming fandom (esp on this scale) than the internet has ever seen. And no, it’s not perfect.

Dream’s statement that the fandom isn’t anti-black is a blatant falsehood and a statement made with incredible privilige. While being very LGBTQIA friendly, it’s also very very white, but compared to a few years ago we’ve come a long way.

In conclusion, mcyttwt needs to take a step back and remember that these ccs are normal ass people too who make mistakes and that putting them on a pedastal ultimately hurts everyone.

Also, that the issues mcyttwt makes mountains out of aren’t much of an issue outside of twitter. There are people out there who actively hurt minorities (again, Scott Cawthon) and causes that minorites care far more about than the jokes minecraft youtubers make. Listen to them directly and donate to their causes directly instead of expecting content creators to know everything and everything and then inevitably be disappointed when they don’t.

(I feel like this post is very scatterbrained. I’m sorry if my train of thought was hard to follow. I didn’t really know how to summarize all my thoughts in a concise manner)

#mcyt #tommyinnit #discourse #dreamwastaken #mcyttwt #Again #If I overstepped somehow #please tell me

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pokesaurio · 4 years ago

Text

I find it hard to believe that New Amsterdam has such little fanfiction. It’s a great show! So I decided to write something for the Leyren ship (which I would usually never do) to fix this! Hope you enjoy :)

Summary: How the Dam Fam finds out about Lauren’s new roommate.

Helen:

“So, naturally, you offered her to live with you” said Helen sarcastically, incredulous at Lauren’s out of character decision.

“Well, yes, she has become my friend after all, and I couldn’t let her alone in the streets”, replied Lauren matter-of-factly.

“Hmm. And how’s it going?” Helen rose an eyebrow suspiciously.

“It’s...” Lauren let out a small sigh, “It’s effortless, really. I feel like she’s always been there”. The “which scares me” was left unsaid.

Helen patiently waited until Lauren disclosed more, knowing her friend usually needed more time to open up.

“Well, except for the massive tree in the middle of the living room. Which I don’t dislike, but...”

“What?!” This got Helen’s attention. Since when was Bloom known to decorate her apartments, let alone let another person do so... with living things?!

“Well, she bought a tree, said it reminded her of home. But apparently it was smaller in the picture, so now I have a full-blown tree in my living room. And I think I like it” that last part she muttered softly.

Helen let out a small, genuine smile, amused but also proud of her friend. “That looks like progress. You haven’t yet snapped her head off for touching your space, so I’d say that’s a point for Lauren’s intimate relationships”.

“Pfft. It’s not very intimate if I still don’t know about her. I have tried to learn what she likes, but she still won’t really tell me about herself. It’s a little frustrating really” Lauren let out an adorable pout.

“Well, give her time. She is living in a stranger’s house after all, in a new country and with probably no other connections or friendships here. I can’t imagine she trusts people easily” said Helen patiently.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Mama Bear is at it again. Free advice for all!” Lauren laughed.

Helen snorted. “Well, it’s taken me nowhere with Mina. Still don’t know how this motherly figure thing works, sadly” she stated defeatedly.

“Oh, come on! You’re doing great! She’s slowly respecting her school timetable and your curfews more, right? And she hasn’t put a massive tree in your living room. That has to count for something” said Lauren, pointing her finger at Helen as she walked towards her ED. “You’ve got this!” and she gave Helen her best thumbs up and exaggerated smile.

Casey:

Lauren haphazardly threw her stuff into her backpack and went for the door, ready to call it a day and head back home.

“Lauren, you’re rushing out” Casey said suspiciously as he entered the locker room. “I assume this means you’re gonna continue smuggling your friend here? Cause if it does, you should know you are risking even more than before. If they catch you again...”

“No, Casey, it’s not like that” Lauren stated. “Don’t worry, she won’t be coming back here”.

“So that means... you let her go? Do you know where she is?” said Casey, now concerned about Leyla’s wellbeing.

“She’s actually... living with me?” said Lauren, the last part coming out in a rush and higher pitch.

“What?” asked Casey, wide-eyed. “Lauren, she- what?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t leave her on the streets, and I figured since I’m never home it couldn’t hurt to give her my spare room” justified Lauren to what seemed like Casey and herself.

“Okay, Lauren, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, you are risking a lot for this stranger. Please be careful” said Casey, though not unkindly. He was just worried about his friend.

“But that’s just it, Casey. She’s not a stranger, not anymore, and I would have done the same for any one of you. I protect my people” said Lauren, now sounding much more convinced.

“Well, if you’re happy with your decision, I can only congratulate you. You finally have a friend outside of work!” he added with a smile, teasing Lauren.

Lauren swatted his arm playfully. “I forgot, Mr Popular here knows most of New York. And I might have one friend, but it’s a hard one” she said, giving him the finger.

“Okay, okay!” Casey laughed, raising his arms defensively. “You win. But Lauren” he said softly “I am happy for you. Just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing”.

“Thanks” said Lauren with a smile, squeezing his arm lightly as she left.

Lauren:

She did know what she was doing. Right. Right? It wasn’t like Leyla was a random stranger, not anymore, and she liked her enough that living together had been smooth sailing so far. So why did she find herself overthinking everything when it came to Leyla?

“Get your shit together, Lauren” she chanted to herself. She was driving home, her palms sweating slightly, but still excited to get there. She had been rushing out a lot lately. The memory of Leyla’s soft smile as she held her hand, fingers interlocking and fitting perfectly as they stared at the tree and Lauren’s want, need to be close, oh so close, a compass searching North. She couldn’t wait to get home to Leyla’s sarcasm, Leyla’s dinners, Leyla’s subtle presence in her apartment and life that made it theirs.

Without noticing, Lauren had been smiling like an idiot for at least half an hour, and she had arrived to her portal. She got out of the car and went for the stairs, taking twice at a time. But as she opened the door, a wave of disappointment washed over her. Leyla wasn’t home, had probably had to take a DriverTime client, and suddenly the apartment felt empty and cold again. Lauren couldn’t understand how she had lived like this for so long before.

But then a thought sprung to mind. Leyla had waited for her every day for the past week, staying up and meeting her with a fabulous home-cooked dinner after work. The least she could do was reciprocate, so Lauren got ready to prepare a mindblowing meal or die trying. Cooking had never been her strong suit, but she figured it couldn’t be too hard.

She remembered Leyla mentioning she deeply missed Pakistani cuisine, and how she had been disgusted by Lauren suggesting she try a Pakistani restaurant around the corner. “You Americans think you can serve a random dish and rebrand an entire culture. That place is not Pakistani”, she had stated. So Lauren had asked, and she had learned, how Nihari reminded her of late night dinners at home and Lassi was her all-time favourite beverage. And so she had a single thought in mind; today she was making the best Pakistani dinner for Leyla.

As she set out to spice the assortion of different meets, she re-entered her previous reverie. She knew Leyla would love this, even if Lauren was probably going to ruin the recipe and tarnish the Pakistani name. But Leyla would smile sweetly, as she did every time Lauren remembered a small detail about her and did her best to make her feel like home, and she would be grateful. Lauren could not wait until she came back, excited to see that look on her face that said “no one’s ever cared for me like this, and I’m glad you’re the first one”.

Slow-cooking the meat into a stew proved difficult, and mixing the yoghurt, water, spices and fruit for the Lassi had Lauren seriously questioning her cooking skills. But all in all, after about an hour she decided she had done a pretty good job. She set out to dress the table, going as far as opening a good red wine and placing a candle. She didn’t want to overdo it, but thought Leyla would decidedly not mind and find her efforts cute. Lauren was struck by the inclusion of “cute” into her vocabulary, could not remember when she had cared about someone’s reaction this much, and decided damn Leyla and her faint smiles had softened her. She couldn’t bring herself to care, though.

And just like clockwork, as soon as Lauren set the last plate with the fine-looking Nihari on the table, Leyla entered the apartment.

“Honey, I’m home!” she shouted jokingly in her beautiful accent.

“Hey! How was work? Any frat boys I should beat up?” said Lauren smiling.

“No frat boys, thankfully. Just an old lady telling me about her grandson. I must have seen like 30 photos of him, and let me tell you, no one can convince me babies are cute. They’re bald!” Leyla proclaimed, dignified.

Lauren snorted. “Of course you would befriend a grandma and have her show you her family. It must be your cranky charm” replied Lauren teasingly.

“You would be surprised. I cause sensation amongst octogenarians” said Leyla amusedly. As she caught the smell of cooked meat, she looked at Lauren, surprised. “You cooked? You? Is MY tree burnt down?” she joked.

“I’ll let you know, OUR tree is intact and very much still alive. And don’t you dare take away my custody, I love him like my own son too!” said Lauren in mock dignification. “I did cook, and I hope you like it” she continued, now softly. She met Leyla’s eye, hope and wonder sparkling bilaterally.

Leyla approached the table, repressing a squeel of excitement at the site of her favourite foods. “Lauren! You shouldn’t have! How did you even-?” and as she turned around to look at Lauren, the intensity in her eyes stunned her. The amount of care and adoration was palpable there, and it was enough to overwhelm her.

“Thank you”, she said in a small voice.

“I thought you deserved something special. You know, for cooking horrible meals every day” Leyla approached her slowly, still with eyes locked in an intense duel. “You would think as a doctor my main threat of illness would come from my patients, but you make a hard run for it” another step closer. “And besides, knowing my cooking skills it’s probably very bad. So we’re even” she continued rambling. Leyla finally took the final step towards Lauren, cupping her cheek and forcing her to shut up.

“You talk too much”, she said, resting on her tiptoes slightly to reach for her cheek and place a soft kiss there. “Thank you, truly”.

Lauren stood there, transfixed and unable to utter words. “Y-Yeah. It’s... nothing, really” she managed to muster.

Leyla tried to fight off a smile at Lauren’s awkwardness. During the course of her stay at Lauren’s- their- apatment, she had been quick to discover that she could turn Lauren, the hard-assed doctor and witty friend, into a rambling mess with well placed silences and touches. And naturally, she had immediately taken a liking to doing so as often as possible.

She turned around and sat at the table, staring down at her food and trying not to show her satisfaction at the amount of time it took Lauren to recompose herself and sit with her. She let Lauren pour some wine for herself, seeing as she didn’t look too enthused with the Lassi, and tried the Nihari. And, oh god, it certainly wasn’t like the one she enjoyed back home, but Lauren had undoubtedly achieved something here. Leyla couldn’t stop a moan from escaping her lips.

Lauren sat across from her, lips parted, staring at her like she was the only thing in the world. Her eyes slowly trailed to her lips, and Leyla thought she might burst if she didn’t break the moment soon. “Lauren, it’s- it’s perfect” said Leyla, and she meant it. It might not be like the one back home, but Lauren had managed to capture a new flavour, to redefine the very meaning home. She could get used to this.

Lauren looked back up at her, smile back in place. “Really? That’s new” she said, satisfied and proud of her achievement.

As they ate in silence, Lauren realised two things. One, she was definitely falling in love with Leyla Shinwari. And two, while Leyla had been her roommate for a few weeks already, it was only now that she felt like they were actually _living_ together... building a home.

Iggy:

“Hey, Iggs! I haven’t caught up with you in a while! How’s everything going?” asked Lauren as she entered Iggy’s office, taking the sofa and sprawling out on it.

Iggy stopped flicking through his charts, immediately knowing something was up. He could tell Lauren was properly glowing, but knew he would have to let this play out if he wanted to get any information out of his friend.

“Lauren! It’s great to see you. I’ve been great. I went to see a nutritionist, and I’ve been trying to join some virtual support groups for people with eating disorders. I still have a long road ahead of me, and I have to put in the work, but thanks for calling me out on my bullshit. Truly” he said sincerely.

Lauren perked up even more, rising to her feet and reaching around Iggy’s desk to hug him. “Iggy! That’s great! I’m so glad to hear it, and I’m so proud of you. And hey, you called me out on my bullshit when I was using, so it was only fair I did the same” she smiled.

Iggy returned her smile, glad to see that both of them were making amends and working to improve their lives.

He rose up to start walking to his next consult, not wanting this conversation to end but really needing to get there on time. After Lauren followed him along, curiosity finally got the best of him. “Okay, I have to ask... What’s gotten into you? You look like you just got to perform one of your supper cool surgeries or something. Anything new?” he asked.

“Well, I’m doing well” she said as they strolled down New Amsterdam’s corridors. Iggy waited patiently, letting Lauren open up at her own speed. “And... and I got a roommate!”

Iggy frowned, perplexed. He knew Lauren, knew how much she valued her space and how closed-off she could be, so he couldn’t fathom why getting a roommate would be something she’d want to do, let alone be the cause of her exuberant joy. “Wha... How?” he asked.

“Well, it’s a long story, really. She came in with a patient, and kind of guessed what was wrong with her, but it turned out it wasn’t a guess, cause she’s really a doctor, but obviously I didn’t know that” she started rambling, with Iggy finding it hard to follow along.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down” he said, though he was glad to see Lauren so excited about something.

“Yeah, sorry. Basically, she pulled off a successful needle decompression in my ED, which I now admit was pretty cool, I called security, she had no place to stay, used the hospital closet for a while... And now she’s living with me” finished Lauren, looking way too satisfied by her explanation.

“She... You... What?!” asked Iggy, dumbfounded.

“Yeah... She’s kind of a lot. In the good way” said Lauren, and it was clear to Iggy by now that she was positively smitten. At this new information, he changed tactics.

“Wow, Lauren, that’s a huge step! I’m happy for you, and so proud. I’d love to meet her sometime” he said.

“Yeah! That’d be great! I’m sure you’d love her, once you get past her cranky façade. You two would totally get along” replied Lauren excitedly.

Iggy knew how possessive Lauren was of her space, knew how much it meant for her to have friends meet even if she may not do it consciously. The fact that she was agreeing to let him meet her meant he was right; Lauren was smitten beyond recognition.

“Great! And what’s it like, living with this...” he trailed off, hoping to get a name out of Lauren for once.

“Leyla! It’s great. Yesterday I cooked her some Pakistani dinner, cause she missed it from back home, and then we watched a comedy and watered our big-ass tree. Don’t ask. It’s like she’s lived with me all along” she finished bashfully.

And Iggy had to assume Lauren knew how this sounded, how many lesbian stereotypes she was ticking off. So he replied, amusedly, “Tell me, Lauren, does this Leyla know you two are dating?” he said, a mischiveous twinkle in his eye.

Lauren stopped abruptly in the corridor, a horrified look on her face. Iggy repressed a laugh, was thrilled by Lauren’s new baby-gay side. He turned around to look at her, saw her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish as she searched for a reply, but continued walking backwards. “Wait... do you?” he asked, now enjoying Lauren’s alarmed look. He turned around a corner, leaving a dumbfounded Lauren behind, and shouted, “Good luck!”

#leyren #lauren bloom #leyla shinwari #lauren x leyla #manifesting bi bloom #five stars #bloomwari

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geekgemsspooksandtoons · 4 years ago

Text

My likely plans for The Mask Rebirth Part 3

This is something I told Kaijuguy earlier that I’m gonna write this. But I’m not gonna make it yet. Because I’m still wondering about it. And also on Thursday, me and my family are gonna go to Universal Studios. And we’ll be back on Saturday. I will likely have my phone. But I may not post a lot or...it depends.

Part 3 is something I’ve really wondered about. Including having some inspiration from, “The Hunt For Green October”. But instead of shoving Ray Tuttle and his daughter’s story into this. I’ve decided that...may be part 4. So those jokes I said to Kaijuguy are likely gonna be a thing.

Anyway, I strangely want to make this seem like a leaked plot details thing before a movie comes out. You know that kind of shit right? I think I just want a reaction of how people may feel towards it. Before I officially make the thing.

Including I just wanna mention what I did with part 2. It strangely felt like an adult extended The Mask Animated Series episode in a sense...that was something I had thought long ago...but let’s get to the point. Of what the direction for this story was.

I have said characters like Owen Big Head, Stanley Big Head Killer, Davida Steelmine, Walter, and Pretorius are involved with this. And I may just reveal the secret behind Pretorius that I have kept secret. If I want to go through with it.

The story may take 6 months after part 2. With Edge City in a much better position after crime has seriously lowered down. And I’ve been thinking part 1 takes place in January. Part 2 takes place in June. And finally, part 3 takes place in December. So in a year, Owen has had the Mask Of Loki for nearly a year.

With Edge City actually being in a more peaceful state. But this doesn’t take place during Christmas. It’s before it. Owen’s mother, Anna, decides to take her son and their roommate Tina on possibly a two week vacation. With Leonor joining them. With the vacation taking place in either Finland or Sweden. Very likely Finland. Despite knowing he needs a much needed vacation. He brings the Mask Of Loki in case. Practically bring Loki along as well.

But during those 6 months. Stanley was thought to be dead after his body wasn’t found. But in fact, he had survived and tried to start a new life with a new name in Edge City. Mainly due to the possibility the police and Big Head may try to look for him. Stanley is more anti social and angry at life. Keeping to himself, like a hermit. Until an unknown man gives him a mysterious gift. A green mask of sorts.

Having kept his memory of wearing the Mask Of Jormungandr. But weary of Davida’s deception of him. He accepts the strange gift.

During this as well, after 6 months of being in prison and everyone against her. Vicky Pratt, mostly known as Davida Steelmine has escaped prison. With a new goal of exacting vengeance upon Owen Heffernan. But first going to the young man’s house, sneaking in, and taking the Mask Of Hel. And finding out he’s in Finland. She wants to start a new life. But she’s angered by having been exposed for who she is. She wants payback first.

Back to Stanley, when he wears the mask. He turns into what appears to be Big Head. But looking different. But to Stanley, this is the greatest thing ever. And possibly better than being Serpent Man. He embraces the terrible nature of the mask starts using his newfound powers by killing the Butcher gang first. Which had beat him up much earlier. And while I question if I wanna make Stanley’s rampage one night or two.

Compared to Owen’s first outing as Big Head. Which was mainly fun mischief. Stanley goes on a killing spree against people that have wrong him in anyway. Even such as the car mechanics, a man who owned him 60 bucks. Which also results in him killing many police officers trying to stop him.

But there’s a goal in mind that Stanley has. To find Vicky/Davida, Tina, and finally Big Head himself. The goal to finally kill all three. The ones that hurt him the most.

Yet during a situation where it’s only Kellaway and Stanley. Kellaway is confused and horrified by what seems to be Owen going on a random savage rampage. He tries to talk to him and calm him down. Asking him if something is wrong, instead of getting angry at him. But to Kellaway’s shock, Big Head tells him, “Who the Hell is Owen!?” And asking why is Kellaway calling him that and maybe Stanley revealing who he is, likely not. Which results in both realizing two different things.

Kellaway realizing, horrified, but strangely relieved that this Big Head isn’t Owen. And to Stanley, he’s shocked and remembers Owen Heffernan, he puts it together. Realizing Owen is very likely Big Head.

After escaping the police, and going to a place where he could hide. Stanley is met Walter, and the two fight. But the same man who gave Stanley the mask tells Walter to stop fighting him. Revealing Walter is with this unknown man. He reveals himself to be Septimius Pretorius. A very secretive man that the crime lords of Edge City would send traitors or anyone they hated to be tortured. But due to his secretive nature, and no one exactly knowing who he is. Most people didn’t like talking about him. As some gangsters would tell others stories about Pretorius to scare them. Along with Dorian when he was alive having met Pretorius in person before, and praising his work.

I’d like to admit, I got this idea form @kaijuguy19 I tried to remember. So thank him. On the part where I talk about Pretorius and Walter being strangely friends in a way.

And the biggest thing that made people strangely afraid of Pretorius. Despite he never made an attempt to be a crime lord. He was the one who made Walter who he is. While Walter was strong and huge already. He met Pretorius earlier in life, and Septimius has told others he merely improved Walter.

He reveals he created that duplicate mask for Stanley personally. To help him achieve his revenge and give him want he wanted. Despite Stanley’s hesitation to trust someone again. He gains Stanley’s trust by telling him that Vicky/Davida and Tina/Kathy are in Finland. But also telling Stanley what he has been wondering. Confirming that Owen Heffernan was his hero, Big Head. Who is in Finland as well with Tina too.

While not considering Pretorius or Walter as new friends. Stanley joins them, with Pretorius giving them a private plane ride to Finland.

Back to Kellaway, who tells Lionel that this Big Head isn’t Owen. And he believes him because of how radically different this Big Head dresses and sounds. The two go to Owen’s house. But realizing Davida has snuck in and stole her old mask. What horrifies the two more is the catch that she’s gonna be possibly going to Finland as well.

Wanting to confront the Owen himself instead of calling him. They take a plane ride to Finland. With possibly trying to come up with a reason why the Big Head Killer is going there. But also maybe Davida. I’m not sure about this. And I may change this. Such as trying to call them. But they don’t have their phone numbers.

So in this case.

In Finland. Owen as Big Head and others are gonna have to face off Davida Steelmine who wants revenge. Walter, who wants payback as well. But also Stanley as a new Big Head, who desires the same thing. But against Davida and Owen. With Pretorius in the background.

In what is said to be the happiest country in the world....holy shit.

Now Pretorius. This was this the idea I felt was crazy. So I’ll just reveal it. The idea that Pretorius was one of the survivors of Ragnarok. And was responsible for killing Sigyn. The wife of Loki, and the one keeping Ragnarok at bay. With Sigyn’s killer never found, her death was the final kick in Loki’s becoming ultimately evil. Presuming the gods had killed her. Thinking the gods want Ragnarok to happen. And becoming more nihilistic, resulting his fate within the mask.

Along with the other idea combined with that Pretorius was one of the survivors who had imprisoned Hel into her own mask. But also being the one who had come up with the idea to imprison Loki and his family that they felt caused Ragnarok. But due to this, his existence was ultimately covered up by the survivors of Ragnarok. And he didn’t mind that. Not a god, but merely someone able to use magic in a similar fashion like science.

Having lived throughout history with humanity for so long. He came to Edge City because of it’s horrible nature with crime. And one of the only people who seems to have developed a sort of friendship with Walter. Mainly both respecting each other for their talents. But also Walter respecting Pretorius for making him stronger than before.

Having believed the masks have been lost to time. Until Big Head showed up. He was curious, yet confused. But when Dorian had become a giant werewolf in a way. He started to wonder if humans have finally found the masks. His suspicions were confirmed when it was revealed Davida Steelmine and Stanley Ipkiss had been using the mask of Hel and Jormugandr. But also even learning the Mask Of Loki before all this, was found in Africa before. Yet it was stolen and never found again. With smaller stories of an similar Big Head like figure causing mischief. But he suddenly disappeared.

Having kept in the shadows, trying to figure out who was really Big Head. And why wasn’t the wearer gone insane. He eventually found out, but didn’t act on anything. But what he had learn is that Stanley Ipkiss to him, should’ve been the one that found the mask and not Owen. Believing the young man had tainted the mask, and possibly changed Loki.

After 6 months, trying to create what he felt was a better mask. Using whatever magic he had left. With the inclusion of voodoo involved. The Death Mask, a duplicate of Loki’s mask and soul.

I think I’ve said enough...hope you folks like this. Mainly you Kaijuguy lol.

#The Mask Rebirth

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