#you suck anon. quit with the fake concern and just stop being friends with her

[oarfishing]

"in case you were wondering, YES, it is her REAL computer (weird) (insane)" bro we knew that from the post. you made that clear. youre just upset nobody else found that weird lmfao

big gamble to come onto the objectum website and go "my friend is objectum. is she insane?" and expect support

WIbtA if I interfere with a friends relationship?? (I know this sounds bad)

I (18F) am in a friendgroup composed of several people, including Rae (19F). A few months ago, she started talking vaguely about a new "girlfriend" of her, Casey. I figure it's a joke considering her past relationships (she had a much different approach and most of her previous girlfriends she met through us) But I humor her anyway. Anyways one day late night in a VC she lets it slip to me that Casey isn't even a human. It's a computer. Now before she had reblogged posts about "the eroticism of the machine" but I assumed it was jokes. Or even just a weird fetish thing. But I feel like this takes it a step too far. I make a private GC with our other friends and ask them if they think it's weird as well, but they either don't believe me or say it's not hurting anyone. Which I guess it's not! But still! It's an inanimate object, what will she do once it breaks? If she starts talking about her "girlfriend" with family? If she gets an actual human girlfriend??? I'm just concerned and want to discuss it critically with her but considering the mixed response I've received before I'm pensive. AITA??

What are these acronyms?

[kiruuuuu]

Thank you both for the prompt, first anon and second anon ♥♥ If anyone missed it or has an atrocious short term memory, these came in as a reaction to this post and to @spacecreatorart‘s marvellous art here! Please enjoy :) (Rating G, fluff/humour, ~1.8k words)

.

“- effects are hardly anything groundbreaking, the CGI isn’t actually that well done but the film is fun enough”, Mute finishes yet another of his annoyingly informative rants. Whenever they watch anything together, he somehow manages to conjure up facts about it out of thin air – Rook has tested this ability on various occasions and even drunk, Mute is a fountain of fun facts about any series or film in existence. Normally Rook doesn’t mind listening to him spewing knowledge as he’s curious by nature, but today is… a little different.

“I have to pee”, Rook announces.

“Can you get some more popcorn on the way?”, Glaz replies before turning back to Mute. “I liked the premise but it wasn’t really that scary, I saw it as more of a comedy.”

Rook is glued to his spot on the armchair. The other three are lounging about, Twitch sipping her ginger ale while spread out on the beanbag chair and Mute and Glaz lazing on two different ends of the couch, all of them relaxed, visibly having enjoyed the film and looking forward to watching more. Rook still isn’t moving. It’s only eight, they started early because some of them are planning to go out for drinks later, Rook definitely not among them, and yet he’s frozen and his knees are weak and just thinking about the long way to the toilets makes him nervous.

“Oh, we can watch the original to the Ring or the Grudge next”, Twitch suggests with sparkling eyes, “I’ve seen both and they’re great.”

“Ask Ghost Boy over here whether that’s alright with him.” Mute points in Rook’s direction and the two other pairs of eyes follow the indication. He must be very pale because Twitch’s expression immediately grows concerned.

“Julien, is everything alright?”

“Splendid”, he lies through his teeth and forces a smile, “does, uh, does anyone else need to use the bathroom? Maybe?”

Mute is the first to start laughing. “Are you – are you fucking serious? You’re too scared to go alone?”

“Listen”, he begins but realises soon that there’s no coming back from this since Mute hit the nail on the head, the long hallways freak him out and the flickering lights and all the doors and he’s not going to go alone, he’d rather piss in a bottle than wander through the corridors when the base is this deserted already and fine, he’ll let his friends mock him if only it means he won’t have to venture out all on his lonesome.

“You’re adorable”, Glaz says with a grin. “We haven’t even started with the really scary ones.”

“Are you afraid of the ghosts haunting this place?” Mute raises a meaningful eyebrow. “Hm? Just imagine how many people must’ve gone through training here at Hereford only to end up dying in the field, being executed or just bludgeoned to death, dropped in a pit and forgotten. And what about the ones who died here? You’ve heard the stories from Mike.”

“This isn’t funny”, he murmurs but Mute quite obviously disagrees as he’s wearing a sickeningly gleeful expression now.

“Maybe they shuffle through the halls when we’re not here, looking for meaning in their undead life, rotting and festering corpses, the combat gear falling off of them in pieces – and they can still fight, you know, probably have more experience than we do, so if they see you and if they’re hungry, you’d better run – and they’re always hungry.”

“And maybe”, Glaz adds, “they’re clowns.”

Rook rolls his eyes and refuses to admit that the prospect of hearing dragging feet while stumbling about in the darkness is now not only going to strike fear into his heart but also make him run away screaming. “You guys suck. The only stupid clowns in this building are you.”

Even Twitch is joining in now, stabbing Rook in the back: “All I got from this was two zombies eating a clown, asking each other ‘does this taste funny to you?’.”

“Hey, I’m not making fun of your weird phobias either”, Rook pouts and earns a collective snort.

“You superglued a rubber spider to my hand while I wasn’t looking”, Twitch reminds him with a sour smile.

“You hung up a bunch of fake snakes in my room”, Glaz contributes.

“And you always make me order on the phone.”

“To be fair”, the Russian addresses Mute with a chuckle, “hearing you switch from your usual snarky self to a stuttering teenager as soon as someone answers is pretty entertaining.”

“I’ll go with you, Julien”, Twitch butts in before a fight can break out on the sofa. “I can get the popcorn and you don’t have to die of fright. Alright?” He just nods meekly and pulls her up on her feet before they step into the hallway. “At least you’ll have Elias keeping you company later, right? So you don’t even have to be alone.”

She’s right and it’s the only reason why Rook agreed to watching scary films on Halloween of all days – if it’s on his mind, he sees shadows flitting about everywhere, feels someone’s gaze in his back yet never catches anyone looking at him, has the odd sensation of being followed. It even goes so far as for his brain to make up noises, like the one he just heard at the end of the… wait a second. “What was that?!”

Twitch frowns and stops walking when she notices her companion is petrified, both unwilling and unable to take even one more step. The corridor is long, some of the doors ajar and the lights relatively low which is why Rook has no idea how she can look this calm. “I don’t know. Something. Come on.”

He’s shaking his head insistently, jumps when there’s a different noise now, coming from directly behind them. Slowly, he turns around, catches a glimpse of movement and then all of a sudden, someone – or rather something – steps out into the long corridor, moaning and moving decidedly inhumanly, and all that Rook sees is a mouth full of needle-like teeth, blood-spattered clothes and fucking clown make-up.

The very first thing he does is scream in panic and has no brain capacity left to realise just how high pitched it is; the second thing is starting to run. He turns tail and books it, ready to outrun this monster, escape this fucking building and run to the SAS living quarters because he’ll be safe there. Instead, he collides full force with Twitch, making her scream, and together they tumble to the floor in a heap of flailing limbs and panic. He tries not to let this deter him from getting away, begins crawling blindly and only then the laughter and the soft words register.

“Julien, Julien, please. It’s me. It’s okay. What are you doing?”

At first he can’t place the voice because there’s no logical scenario in which this person should be here, but when he peeks over his shoulder, the nightmarish, grinning mouth has disappeared and given way to a wide smile which can only be Blitz. Next to him, Twitch groans and slaps at him in dismay. “If you reacted this way on a mission, we’d probably all die. Get off me!”

Even a few seconds later, after the frightening apparition who really turns out to be none other than Blitz has helped them back up, Rook is still struggling to slow down his breathing and his pumping heart. Fortunately, Twitch doesn’t seem eager to gloat and instead takes pity on him, excuses herself for the sake of popcorn and leaves him alone with his lover. Who is grinning like a fox. “Shut up”, Rook snaps at him, “that was not okay.”

“I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to startle you”, Blitz replies softly, peels off one of his gloves and cards a soothing hand through the young man’s hair. “But I’ve been working hard on this outfit and wanted it to be a surprise for you – Dom told me you love the design of scary clowns, so I did my best. How do you like it?”

That fucking - “I hate it. I hate everything about it. I absolutely despise clowns, mon cœur, and had you asked literally anyone else, they would’ve told you. Don’t ever do this again, goddammit, my knees are still weak.”

“Oh. I didn’t know that.” Blitz actually looks sheepish and disappointed and yet Rook wants nothing more than to tear off every single part of his costume.

“Why do you have this anyway? Why did you think this was a good idea?”

“I love Halloween”, he replies timidly and okay, at this point Rook really can’t be upset at him anymore. With a sigh, he pushes his lover back into the room he came from – Blitz’ own room, so Rook really could’ve guessed who it was – and makes out with him for a while, both to cheer him up and to calm himself down. Regardless, the outfit doesn’t get any less terrifying, not even if he stares at it for a while.

“Alright, but I don’t”, he grumbles and snuggles up to his German who gladly uses the opportunity to lightly massage his back and pull him closer, clearly intent on making it up to him. “But it’s not your fault. I’m fine as long as you don’t leave me.”

“Well”, says Blitz and his tone of voice indicates nothing good, “I was planning on going out with the others dressed like this in about an hour. But you can join us and I’ll hold your hand the entire evening, if you like.”

Rook is about to give him the puppy dog eyes and whine about being scared when he’s alone (which wouldn’t even be a lie) but halts all thoughts upon hearing voices. Very familiar voices. He twists out of the hug, puts a finger to his lips and motions for Blitz to pull his balaclava back on. Blitz complies, grinning, obviously aware of Rook’s spontaneous plan, and they exchange a series of gestures, nudges and waggling eyebrows as they wait for the two people to come closer.

As soon as Blitz throws himself through the doorway with a truly frightful snarl, Rook peeks out after him so he doesn’t miss anything. He catches the momentary surprise on both Montagne’s and Bandit’s faces, the two previously deep in conversation, yet whereas Montagne’s expression remains slightly shocked, Bandit’s turns to genuine horror – he lets out a terrified shriek which somehow ends up even higher pitched than Rook’s but instead of running away, he jumps into Montagne’s arms without hesitation. The gentle giant catches him competently, holding him bridal style as Bandit keeps screaming and at this point, Rook barely manages to hold back his laughter.

So much for appreciating clown designs, he thinks. Maybe Halloween wasn’t so bad after all. And maybe he should go out for drinks after all because he bets everyone is dying to hear just how heroic Bandit acts in the face of danger.

[shreyamistry]

Can you do a Stacy X F!Mc where they’re at a party set a few months after everything went down and everyone else seems to be doing okay but MC is still suffering and Stacy ends up comforting her. Basically I love angst and fluff x

basically, i love angst, fluff, and stacy green too so let me come through for you

Summary: MC finds herself at an end of school party at Ben’s house, with her friends all around her so happy and feeling carefree for once enjoying the party. She wants to be excited and happy, but all her mind lets her think of is Redfield and what happened to Noah.

Word Count: 3447

Notes: I really hope you like this anon, I went in for it. I was really inspired by the song Fake Happy by Paramore from the playlist for ILITW, so that’s what the italics words are. I thought the overall mood and theme of the song fits this ask and I really wanted to use that song for some time now for an ILITW writing so thanks for helping me with that. Without further ado, I present to you, angst and fluff.

So I’ve been doing a good job of making them think… I’m quite alright

MC can’t hear herself think, the base from the song pounding in her ears. She covers one ear with her hand taking a sip of her drink grimacing at the taste. Definitely laced, vodka maybe. She looks around the party desperately searching for a friendly face to talk to, finding no one she sighs, setting her cup on the table.

She strides off towards the kitchen finding herself in front of the sink, she wets the back of her with some water wiping it on the back of her neck. The wind shakes the trees off in the distance and MC finds herself staring too long at them before thoughts begin to pressure her mind. You let Noah die…you watched him die and did nothing about… MC blinks away some tears, gripping the counter under her fingers. She drags out a long breath, looking towards the moon, I did everything I could, right?

“Hey, MC, wanna play a game?” The voice is familiar, it’s Lily’s. Act cool, she ducks her head down coughing away any trace of a sob In her throat. “Someone’s looking for taboo.”

If I smile with my teeth, bet you’d believe me

MC forces a smile, looking at Lily, “oh you know maybe in a bit. I was actually looking for Stace, you saw her?” MC wipes her hands on her jeans, jeez, when did it get so warm in here?

Lily thinks for a second before frowning, “No I haven’t seen her for awhile, are you okay?” MC quickly wipes a bead of sweat from her forehead, stop being such a downer.

MC forces a brighter smile, “Yeah, I’m doing great. We’re finally free, how are you?” Lily places a comforting hand on MC shoulder, giving it a quick comforting squeeze.

“If you’re sure.” Lily nods, letting her eyes fall on the running sink before MC, MC quickly hits the top of the dial turning off the water. “I haven’t been this happy in so long. Britney is so good to me.” Lily blushes, tucking a strand of hair behind her eye thinking about Britney. “I feel like I’ve maybe found the love of my life.”

“You should get back to her and the game, you’re so cute together. I’ll catch up with you okay?”

“Sure thing, MC. If you need anything come find me.” Lily smiles, quickly hugging MC before leaving her alone to find Britney. MC watches her green sweater disappear into the crowd of bodies, stupid Ben and being popular and inviting so many people.

Oh, please don’t ask me how I’ve been, don’t make me play pretend

MC stumbles upon Lucas and Andy making out in the hallway when they notice her approaching, they part Andy smiling brightly, linking his hand with Lucas’. She lets her eyes linger on their intertwined hands for a few moments, it makes her want to be with Stacy more, her eyes drifting back to meet Andy’s gaze.

“Hey lovebirds, you seen Stace lately?” MC asks, with a soft smile.

“Honestly, no, at least I haven’t,” Lucas replied.

“She went with Ava to the basement to help bring up more booze, last I saw.” Andy smiled, “I was going to help, show off my muscles you know, but she thought I should spend more time with Lucas.” Lucas blushes.

“Oh…” MC managed, she can let them spend time together and completely avoid me?

“I’m positive it’s nothing to be concerned over,” Lucas states, with a comforting smile. I’m finally starting to get what Dan meant about being looked at like a kicked puppy, MC thinks to herself trying to hide her distaste with the thought.

“How are you holding up?” Andy interrupts, MC is grateful to not have to respond to Lucas’ statement or justify the thought with a response, it is nothing Lucas, I’m not crazy.

“Oh, me? I’ve been great, Andy. I’m finally getting to a good place” MC lies, picking nervously at the bottom of her t-shirt meeting Lucas’ unconvinced gaze. He rests a protective hand on Andy’s lower back, his sweater sleeves pushed halfway up. His glasses hang low on the bridge of his nose. “How have you two been?”

“Pretty good.” Lucas smiles, “Are you sure you’re okay? Sometimes victims of traumatic experiences don’t realize their negative symptoms, you could be suffering from PTSD-” Lucas is cute short by Andy stomping on his foot, he gives him a look ‘what the fuck? not your place’

Shut the fuck up, Lucas, please, not now MC thinks to herself forcing a smile to her lips again sucking down a lump of saliva in her throat, “Yes, Lucas, and before you start throwing your facts and trauma victim research at me any further, I’m fine. Go make out somewhere.”

“If you need to talk-“ Lucas starts, as Andy half turns to him.

“Lucas.” Andy places a hand on his chest, giving him a look. “Listen, Stace was last seen with Ava, go find her, okay.” Andy gives MC a caring and understanding look, fixing the front of his hair. “we have some business to attend to, so if you’ll excuse us.” Andy wags his eyebrows at Lucas, before dragging him away with him, Lucas gives her a soft squeeze on her shoulder brushing past her. Lucas manages to also give MC one more look before Andy is able to whisk him away completely. 

“When she’s ready to talk to us she will Lucas..”

MC sighs to herself, thank god for Andy, at least someone knows how to take a hint. She follows the Stacy trail to the basement the creaky floorboards and creepy aesthetic makes MC shudder involuntarily, hugging herself as she proceeds down the stairs.

And if I go out tonight, dress up my fears, you’d think I look alright, with these mascara tears?

Ava stands in the basement digging through a box of different jars and files, her face deep in concentration, she jumps a little when MC calls out her name. “Sorry, you okay?”

“Whatever.” Ava blows her off, rummaging through the box of different things, MC approaches looking in. “Found this box of old shit, looking for something spooky.”

“You find anything good in these jars of… body parts?! Please tell me Ben’s parents are doctors.” MC gags holding up a jar of fingers, someone was murdered for these.

Ava smirks, “I could, but I think I’d be lying. They’re both lawyers.” She holds up a jar to the light, “but judging by the cuts, they look surgical.”

MC shudders, looking at the heart in a jar, her eyes shifting from disgust to looking sadly at the jar, she lets her mind fall back to Noah, somewhere rotting to death. I mean here we are, living it up at a party and Noah’s fucking dead, it’s just so wrong. She traces her finger down the side of the jar, poor son of a bitch, MC realizes she’s been staring at the faded colored heart in the jar looking to meet Ava’s concerned gaze, she pulls at her choker for a split second looking almost nervous… concerned?

“Scared of a heart? Or something else.” Ava asks casually trying to not sound too concerned or pitying for MC’s same, or maybe Ava just didn’t know how to deal with feelings, could be both.

“Just that someone keeping someone else’s body parts, it’s kinda freaky even for a doctor.” MC nods, “Tell me this won’t be your basement one day?”

“No promises.” Ava laughs. “I might keep my dad’s pickled remains.”

“Anyways,” MC chuckles with forced emphasis on her words,  “what happened to Stace?”

“She and Dan went outside for a breather, the party was a little loud of them both.”

“Thanks Ava.”

“Your mascara is a little smudged, just an FYI.” Ava smiles softly before returning her focus back to her boxes, with a grateful sigh MC makes her way back up the stairs and to the first bathroom. She digs into the medicine cabinet finding some cotton swabs to fix it. She lets her hands fall on the counter trying to hold back tears. Keep it together, you shouldn’t worry everyone with your problems, they’re finally fucking happy.

 And if the lights are low, they’ll never see me frown, hey

MC starts to lose hope walking into the backyard, people stand around laughing and talking, a fire is started near the back by the pool. She watches the flame raise as some guy pours lighter fluid onto the open flame, it turns blue a quick second before sulking to its orange hues. MC takes a fortifying breath building up some courage, find Stacy or Dan.

She walks directly into Dan looking over his shoulder not noticing her. He grabs her before she can fall helping her steady her feet with a soft laugh, his hands are strong MC notices before he lets go of her arm. “Sorry, MC. Didn’t see you there.”

“It’s cool, rumor has it, you were with my girlfriend last,” MC states, her lips curling into a frown in the black of the night, as a freezing gust of winds whips past them. MC hugs her arms to her body, fuck, it’s cold.

“Stace and I were helping start the fire. You might check Ben’s room though, she was determined to find some kind of decent music. Guess Paramore isn’t her thing.” Dan runs a hand through his hair turning to MC. “You okay? You seem a little-“

“I’m fine Dan, really. Anyways, was this recently or an hour ago that you saw her.” MC doesn’t mean to sound like a bitch, but oh well, Dan will forgive her.

“You actually just missed her, she went in through the front door though, I wanted to check out this pool.” Dan nods, watching her with a concerned expression wondering about her tone.

“It’s nice.” MC sighs, running her hands through her hair with a soft sigh.

“Long night?” Dan asks, casually. “Listen, I know how hard things can be, and before you shut me down, just know I’m always just a text, a call, whatever away, okay?”

MC blinks quickly, am I crying? “Thank you.” She wraps her arms around Dan for a quick tight hug before pulling away. “Anyways, I hope you’re doing okay, but I’m on a mission and I need to find my Stace.”

“Good luck.” Dan shoots finger guns at her, and she laughs tucking into the house.

I know I said I was doing good, and that I’m happy now, I shoulda known when things were going good that’s when I get knocked down.

MC trudges their way inside after saying bye to Dan, walking through the living room she sees Andy, Lucas, and Ava dancing on the makeshift dance floor laughing, Lily and Britney linger nearby kissing and swaying to the beat.

Why the fuck do they get to be happy and enjoy themselves while I’m falling apart… it’s not fair. MC pushes her way through the bodies, Stacy where the fuck are you. She makes it to the stairs where Stacy lingers at the top talking to some girls from cheer, MC walks towards them overhearing pieces of the conversation.

“So, Stacy, hows your girlfriend?”

“She’s doing okay.”

“I heard she killed Noah, is that true?”

“What? No. She would never, Noah was her friend.”

“Why’s he dead then and not her?”

MC rages inside, sadness suddenly turning into boiling rage, I KILLED NOAH?! She pushes up the stairs, Stacy sees her barreling up the stairs towards them.

“MC,” Stacy says with a smile reaching out to take her hand, but MC ignores her shoulder checking one of the girls on the squad, “ “Better watch yourself, might find yourself gone next,” MC mutters walking past her towards the bathroom. “I’m so sorry, Amber. Let me go talk to her, she’s just having a rough day.”

“That freak really did kill Noah, Ava the Witch probably helped..” Amber whispers to the other girl as Stacy walks past them pushing her way into the bathroom that MC sits inside.

Stacy closes the door behind her locking it, turning to look at MC. She shakes with sobs, clenching her hair in her fists, sitting on the side of the tub. Stacy squats in front of her reaching out to her, MC instantly recoils turning away from Stacy.

The sounds of her sobs filling the room, Stacy wraps her arms around MC, swatting at the hand that tried to push away her arm. She holds her tightly, rubbing circles on her back with her palm soothingly. “It’s okay, MC, just breath.”

“IT”S OKAY? It’s OKAY STACY?” MC yells, standing from her spot as Stacy almost falls into the tub, catching herself, with a huff. “Noah’s fucking dead, I had to watch him die. He’s dead Stace, I had to go to his funeral, and his mom looked happy?!”

Stacy stays silent for a moment, “MC, why didn’t you tell me you were struggling? I could have-“

“What? Stacy look around you, I’m fucked up we’re all fucked up and it seems I’m so only fucking one still fucking bothered by all of this. You all don’t have to live with the fact that Noah basically killed himself in front of you with no fucking care in the world for the outcome!”

Stacy nods, watching as MC’s body violently shakes with sobs finally stopping her rant, “MC.” Her voice is soft.

“Stace…” MC sobs walking towards her. Stacy takes MC in her arms, listening to her sob into her chest, Stacy wiped at her eye before rubbing her palm against MC’s back again.

“I’m sorry,” MC is confused, why is Stace sorry, she has nothing to be sorry for… “I never realized how hard this would be on you even now. Jane was your best friend, she tormented you down there, mocking you for not being able to protect me… I-it wasn’t fair of Jane to make you play last.”

“I had to watch her hurt all of you… I couldn’t do anything as she burned you-I-Stacy I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

Stacy’s begins crying, tears rolling down her cheeks, as she holds MC tighter. “You did everything you could MC, I’m still here because of you. You saved me from the stuffed animals at Brit’s party, you took me out for coffee during my mom’s campaign scandal, you helped me find a charger to call my mom at the hospital. I’m only here because you saved me, if you weren’t here to help me deal with it I don’t think I would have been strong enough to tell Jane I’m not scared.”

“Do you mean that?” MC asks with a choked sob.

“With all my heart MC.” Stacy soothes, “and it’s not your fault Noah died, he sacrificed himself for Jane. He lured us down there and made us play, he was more fucked up than any of us could have imagined.”

“He still didn’t deserve to die, Stace…”

“No, he didn’t MC.” Stacy agrees, brushing her fingers through MC’s hair, “but he sacrificed himself from the suffering he felt over Jane. There’s no one in this world who could have taken her place and made Noah okay.”

“He’s fucking Redfield, Stace.” MC sobs again, clutching Stacy’s purple off the shoulders blouse in her hands. “He’s out there forever to be tormented by himself, till another fucking group of idiots decides to explore the fucking ruins.”

“He did what he had to to make peace with himself, MC.” Stacy assured, “he did that because of his mom and the guilt he felt over the situation. No, it wasn’t his fault, but no amount of therapy and help would have changed that MC. There’s nothing we can do, it collapsed after you came out, no one should be going down there anytime soon.”

MC nods against her chest, her tears rolling onto MC’s blouse soaking the blouse in her tears. She nuzzles her head Stacy’s neck, with a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Stace. I keep trying to be okay and to hold it together, but it’s not working and-”

Stacy places a finger to her lips shushing, “don’t ever apologize, it’s not your fault babe.”

“I should be okay though, it’s been 5 months, Stace.”

“It doesn’t just magically click off, love…” Stacy begins, her eyebrows furrowing before opening her mouth to speak again, “you have to keep taking the time and let yourself heal, it will never, never happen overnight or quickly in any capacity.”

MC nods, she knows her girlfriend is right, but why does it still have to be so hard for her, she didn’t make Noah take Jane’s place, he volunteered himself as soon as they got into the cavern. Silence fills the room beside the soft lyrics of the song leaking in under the door.

Oh, please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too…

“This is a sad song to play at a party,” MC says with a mixture of a laugh/sob. Stacy chuckles, pulling away slightly from MC tilting her chin up to look at her. She quickly wipes away the lingering tears on MC’s face. “Am I ever going to be able to cope with this Stace?”

Stacy bites her lower lip, “I believe with all my heart you’re gonna be able to get through this, babe.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re so strong and resilient.” Stacy smiles, MC smiles weakly back at her. Stacy grabs a roll of toilet paper ripping off a few squares wiping away the snot on MC’s face. “You kept all of us going through this entire thing, you were the glue that held us all together.”

MC nods sadly. “And more than that, you have us to help you through this.Let us take over for awhile, we can be glue too babe. Lily has the biggest heart in the entire world, she’s always here for you. Andy might not be the best at comforting you, but he can make you laugh. Lucas in his own weird way really helps with his facts and knowledge to make you feel less alone in your feelings.” MC smiles at Stacy. “And Ava in her own witchy way will always be here for you. And you know, we snooped so far into Dan’s life and he doesn’t blame us, he can help you cope with it teach you a few things he’s learned.”

“Thank you, Stacy.” MC smiles.

“And most importantly, you have me. And I won’t ever let anything bad happen to you ever, ever again. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, you are the love of my life.”

“I love you, too Stace. Thanks for being here.” MC smiles weakly, “I really shouldn’t have come, I knew I wasn’t doing well.”

“Hey, sometimes all you need is a party to let you open up.” Stacy laughs, cupping MC’s cheek in one hand, rubbing her thumb back and forth. “And were alone…in a bathroom….during a party. So you were looking for me, right? Now, what are you going to do with me?”

“What do you want me to do with you?” MC laughs, thinking back to that night so long ago when Stacy first said that to her. It’s crazy to her how much things have changed since that, but at least she has Stacy still.

Stacy leans in really close kissing her softly on the lips. “I’d definitely like to do that again.” MC kisses her again softly at first, letting her lips move against Stacy’s perfectly. Her lips were soft and moist, and MC’s lips gilded against hers perfectly. Stacy lets her hands lazily brush through MC’s hair, MC’s hands moving to Stacy’s cheek cupping them as she moves her body closer to Stacy’s deepening the kiss between them.

MC jumps up startled after a rapid knocking on the door. “Put your clothes on stop fucking in my bathroom, people have to use it.” Ben’s voice filled the room as Stacy and MC laugh. Stacy grabs MC’s hand motioning for her to wait.

“Sorry, just a sec,” Stacy calls out, giggling with MC. She pulls down the sleeve of her blouse with an amused smile. “You’re so bad, Stace.” MC chuckles, taking Stacy’s stretched out hand.

Stacy unlocks the door pulling it open smirking at Ben. “Sorry, things got a little whew.” She jerked her head, pulling her blouse back into place with her free hand. She then pats Ben on the shoulder. “Come on, MC.” Ben looks at MC uncomfortably as they walk past him giggling.

“You okay to get back to the party?” Stacy smiles. MC nods, letting a smile fall across her face, a real one. Stacy kisses her quickly one last time before leading her back to the dance floor.

Oh please…oh please…

hope you enjoyed it anon!

[iamthechocobabe]

Hiii! Can i request an imagine with Prompto? Considering his origins he probably would't be able to have kids, or so he thought until, ten years later his captive, his s/o tells him she is pregnant. However his old insecurities and knowing he should tecnically be sterile lead Prompto to think his lover cheated on him with Ignis, whom his s/o has grown close in the years. Happy endings but a little angst in the middle :) thank you!

I honestly love this so much. If I wasn’t over the word count so much already, I would include Ignis more in it, but I like to think that it’s not half bad. Hopefully anon will agree! I also tried to keep the gender of the baby neutral since I wanted the reader to imagine the gender as the gender they would someday want if or when they had kids. 

Tagging the senpais: @roses-and-oceans @bespectacled-girl (I know you don’t want kids but indulge me) @gladiolus-mamacitia @itshaejinju 

Please Believe MePromptoXReaderSFWWord Count: 4,116

“I’m…a Lucian" 

That face, the face that has haunted Prompto’s nights for a little over ten years. That same fucking face that was always more daemonish than it was in the memory, the face that appeared in the dream with screaming children behind him that were bred and forced into being daemonish machines like livestock as they all reached out to Prompto, begging him with their eyes to kill them. Even Prompto, with his pretty knowledgeable skills with a gun, wouldn’t be able to give all of those children in his dreams the mercy they so much deserved, as there was always so many of them. But the man, the face with the horrifically stinky breath that made Prompto’s insides rot whenever it reached Prompto’s icy cold cheeks, the face that was a monster and daemon in every sense of the word…

That monster who was supposedly his father…

Always there, in his dreams, to tell him his worst fears. 

"You’re nothing but a failure," 

Prompto stares into the mean eyes of a man so devoid of life, of humanity that Prompto feels his own soul being sucked away-but despite it all, he manages his next sentence as he always does in his dream…his nightmare. "I-I’m not one of your experiments," 

"You’re nothing but a clone-you can never possibly have a normal life," 

It wasn’t true-he was normal, Prompto could recognize that he was dreaming because memories of his recent life, ten years after being trapped in Niflheim were coming back to him in a wave of a wonderful and happy life that he desperately clinged to, even in his dreams. 

Falling in love with you. "She could never love you," Asking you to marry him. "You could never make her happy," The tears that flowed from your eyes and the smile you gave him when you said yes. "She will leave," Those same exact tears and smile when you told him you were pregnant."You cannot be her husband. You cannot be a father," 

Father…night upon night of this same exact dream and this bastard never questioned Prompto’s ability to be a father until now. The gall of this man, the man who had bred and passed his own ‘children’ around like a litter of puppies, all for his twisted and demeaning experiments. This man, questioning his ability to be a father. 

"I am a better father than you could ever be,” The words muttered are so dark and shaky from anger that even Prompto doesn’t recognize his own voice. 

“You are a clone,” 

“Shut up,” Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Prompto told himself, tried to convince himself that it was time to wake up. 

“You are worthless," 

"Shut. UP,” He knew he was dreaming-all he had to do was…wake up. 

“Failure," 

"SHUT UP,” He was screaming, but he didn’t care-Prompto looked up and opened his eyes to face the man who was one of the most evil men Prompto had ever met, save short for Ardyn Izunia…

But Verstael Besithia was gone-and in his place stood Prompto’s best friend, the person who Prompto thought could never ever betray him and didn’t have a bitter bone in his body. The person who grew closer and closer to you, the love of Prompto’s life, every single day, the person who Prompto began to dread seeing every day more and more. 

Ignis Scientia, who whispered one word that made Prompto’s heart practically stop. 

“Infertile,”

Prompto’s eyes popped open and he involuntarily shot up in bed, out of breath and looking wildly around the room. When he discovered he was back in the small two bedroom house you two had bought together, back in the bedroom with the curtains you had picked out and all of Prompto’s candid, selfies and glossy photo collages plastered in various spots on the wall, he knew the dream had ended. It was done, it was just a dream…

Prompto hears you mumble in your sleep, opening your eyes blearily to stare at your husband of four years with a sleepy smile that Prompto loved more and more every time he saw it. Your voice was deep and raspy with sleep, showing that you were barely awake, but you still managed to ask your husband if he was alright, if he needed you. 

And Prompto, knowing he could never, ever voice his concerns to you, just smiled softly and whispered words of reassurance. “Just a nightmare, babe. Go ahead and go back to sleep," 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah," 

"Wake me up if you need me,” Was your sleepy response before slipping back into the realms of unconciousness, relieved that you didn’t have to wake up for a few more hours and too tired to wonder why Prompto’s eyebrows were dipped downwards with worry. And when your breathing had returned to relaxed with a deep sigh to show that you were once again asleep, Prompto’s eyes traveled down to your swollen belly, so swollen that you looked ready to pop anyday now. And he remembers those horrific words from his dream that he’s had every night since you announced your pregnancy. 

“Infertile,”

“So, the doctor says the baby moved so it’s feet first and it’s head is upward, so we think that weird lump on the top of my stomach is just the baby’s elbow or arm," 

"Well, that is a relief-I told you it was nothing serious, but you insisted on worrying”

“Yes, yes, once again you never fail to point out how right you are,” You joke once again as you continue to fold laundry with your cellphone balanced against your ear to better hear Ignis’ refined accent through the speaker. Prompto stood off to the side, making both of you lunch as he had been given paternity leave from the Citadel since you were due any day now. Ignis, of course, had to call in and check with you two every few days to make sure you were doing alright and that Prompto was handling his responsibilities as a new father. 

And Ignis talked about that, but you two mostly spent the time talking and joking with each other about various things. The baby, that crazy hunt you two had gone on shortly after you and Prompto got married, how angry Prompto was when he heard that Ignis had let you go…you and Ignis had practically become inseparable ever since that hunt and the man was usually over to your guy’s house every other night for dinner. 

While being with Prompto was wonderful and you loved your husband to absolute death and beyond, you had to admit that it was just nice to have a friend other than Iris-Iris was sweet, but she could be a bit of a handful at times and it was nice to have someone calm and rational like Ignis to talk and comfort you when you were worried about the health of the baby. Whenever you expressed worry to Prompto, he would start panicking as well and insist on taking you to the hospital, but Ignis was far more rational, subdued and actually quite knowledgeable in health and pregnancy tips, usually spending his time calming you down. 

“And you insist on not knowing the gender?” For the fiftieth time ever since you announced your pregnancy, Ignis asked the question. You catch Prompto looking at you out of the corner of your eye with a strange look, like he was wary about something, but when you quirked an eyebrow at him he just shook his head and mouthed 'never mind’ before going back to making lunch. 

For the fiftieth time, you told him. “Yeah, Prompto and I want it to be a surprise," 

"Of course-how is the father to be anyway?" 

"Nervous, I think…he’s been very quiet for the past few months,” You glance over your shoulder at your husband, expecting him to be looking at you since his name was brought up and you had said the last bit rather loudly to hope and get him to start talking again, but he just continued to cook while zoned out in his own world. 

“Tell him I said hello," 

You place the folded lingerie that had you blushing slightly as for what its initial purpose was (hint, hint, something to do with the baby) and turn back to Prompto with one hand on the phone and the other resting on your swollen belly. "Ignis says hi," 

Sizzling water from the bowling pot on the stove is the only sound you hear from Prompto, the blonde man still staring with a dazed look out the window that sat over your sink that had a picture of you two on your first wedding anniversary sitting on the window sill. "Prompto?” You repeat yourself, but Prompto still just stares out the window, his gaze slowly moving over to the picture, one of your favorites. 

Waddling over to him, you gently pat Promtpo’s arm to get his attention while trying to fight your worry for him. “Prompto," 

Blinking, Prompto looks at you in shock as if he had forgotten you were in the room with him and coughs a little. "What?" 

"Ignis says hi…” You pause to wait for Prompto’s response, but his eyes just fall back to your first anniversary photo-why did he look so sad when he stared at that photo? “Are you okay?" 

Cobalt blue eyes still stared off into the distance but Prompto forced a fake smile at you. "Yeah, I’m fine-tell him I said hi back," 

"Okay,” You give him an odd look while saying it slowly and make a mental note to talk to him about it after hanging up with Ignis-something was obviously bothering your husband. “He says hi, too," 

"Great-I have to go, but is it still alright for me to come for dinner tonight?" 

"You know it’s fine-who else would we rely on to cook our dinner?” You giggle but out of the corner of your eye, you notice that Prompto is gripping onto the counter tightly, his jaw tightening as well. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” You hang up the phone and look back at your husband with a quirked eyebrow. “So, that was Ignis…" 

"I know,” Prompto practically snarls the word, causing you to be taken back by his sudden harsh tone over a seemingly innocent statement. 

“What’s going on with you?” You demanded, placing your phone on the counter and trying to get him to face you. 

Prompto swats your hand away and stares at you with a fear and sadness in his eyes, a fear you hadn’t seen since Noctis had come back from the crystal and the news he heard when his best friend was gone. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut like he’s trying hard not to think of something, he just barks “Nothing,” before shoving past you and heading out of the house. 

“Prompto?” You call his name, but he’s already slammed the door shut by the time you finish.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 

The whole time you had been on the phone with Ignis, Prompto had argued with himself that he was being irrational, that his fears weren’t justified and that you would never betray him. And then his eyes would fall to your stomach and he would hear the words from his dream again. 

Infertile. 

He was a clone-he wasn’t supposed to live a long life and he wasn’t supposed to have children, based on all of the notes from Verstael Besithia. The thought of your child not being his had never crossed his mind until he saw how close you and Ignis were one night and he remembered a document he had seen while in the Niflheim facility that gave information about clones life expectancy and how they were made sterile in the process due to a faulty enzyme. Now, it was every single day when his brain would scream that the child wasn’t his…and it wasn’t long until his brain began to argue that it was Ignis’ child. 

Ignis wouldn’t do that to you-she wouldn’t do that to you. 

But the thoughts were still there and it seemed even after walking around for three hours with no real aim of where he was going, those thoughts weren’t going to leave. So, he figured he might as well head back to the house; he would probably just apologize to you, saying he was just nervous about being a father and insist that he was alright. 

You probably wouldn’t believe him, but-but he just couldn’t face it. He couldn’t face the idea that the child growing in your tummy wasn’t his and if he confessed his fears to you, he would have to face an inevitable truth. Besides, it didn’t really matter…he knew. He knew-you would probably deny it, but he knew it was impossible for him to have children. 

He knew that Ignis was the father of your child. 

And there was nothing he could ever do about it. 

Walking up to the front porch light, Prompto blinked the tears away from his eyes and forced a smile on his face. Part of him wanted to scream at you, wanted to get you to just admit it already so he could get on with his life. Fear was always there to stop him, though, so he walked in with his false promises of assurance on his tongue…

And saw you with your head on Ignis’ shoulder.

“Prompto,” Sniffling after having a tear filled conversation about why Prompto was so angry at you with Ignis, you stood up to face him. “We were just-" 

"Stop it,” The sharp tone Prompto had was gone-it was instead replaced with a tone that just seemed sad. Defeated. Like he couldn’t fight something anymore, though you didn’t know what he was fighting. 

“Prompto, what’s-” You try to talk but Prompto, with his cellphone gripped tightly in his hand, chucks it at the far side of the wall with a strength many people didn’t know he had that shattered the phone into large bits of plastic and a cracked screen. 

“Stop it,” Tears are falling freely down Prompto’s cheeks and it breaks your heart to see it and you start to approach your husband to give him a hug to be stopped by Ignis with a hand on your shoulder. Seeing the action Ignis made just seemed to break Prompto’s heart even further and he gritted his teeth. “Just stop it already…I’m done. Just admit it," 

You’re not sure how your face looks, but you’re pretty positive you look confused and worried because that’s what your body is being overcome with. Shaking your head, you blink confusedly at Prompto and tilt your head a little as if to show him how confused you were. "Admit what? What are you-" 

"The kid’s not mine," 

For the past few months, there had been a million reasons why Prompto was so quiet around you. Maybe he was nervous, maybe he was worried for your well being…a million reasons…

But you lying about who the father of the baby is was never one of them. 

Prompto didn’t need validation, he didn’t need to know the truth. Your color drained face and shocked expression said it all-he couldn’t see Ignis’ expression behind his glasses, but Prompto could see that his so called 'best friend’ was grim. It was so obvious…how could he have been so stupid? He hadn’t planned on confronting you or Ignis, but when Prompto saw how comfortable you two were, the words were out of his mouth before he realized it. 

And now the thought of staying anywhere near you two made him want to vomit. "I’m going to stay at Gladio’s," 

"Prom, it’s not-" 

"Prompto!" 

Prompto ignored both you and Ignis’ desperate pleas and stalked out of the house with tears practically blinding him-he would have walked into the road and in front of an incoming car had he not heard the far off honking of said car just as his foot reached the pavement. Luckily he stopped himself and made himself find the sidewalk before walking down it, feeling so unbelievably betrayed…his best friend. And his wife. And they were going to lead him to believe for Gods knew how long that the kid was Prompto’s. 

So stupid. Why was he so stupid? 

"Prompto, WAIT!" 

Your desperate scream that echoed off your neighbors houses and rippled through the night made Prompto stop and turn around to see you, an eight month pregnant woman who was due for labor any day now, running at full speed towards him with eyes wide and one hand on your stomach to try and balance yourself as you ran. 

Prompto was betrayed, he was hurt beyond belief, but apparently he couldn’t stop any love he felt towards you because he immediately raced to you to get you to stop running. "Don’t run, are you crazy?" 

"You-you-” You stop and bend over for a second, breathing harshly and trying to catch your breath. Prompto forced breath into his lungs, knowing that this was where you would tell him that you hadn’t wanted him to find out this way, that you still loved him or cared for him as a friend, blah blah blah. 

Far off, Prompto could see Ignis standing by hesitantly with his arms folded as you still tried to catch your breath, clearly itching to race to his new love and Prompto had the urge to go and strangle his former friend. Ignis was handsome and could get any girl in the world and he chose you. Prompto’s wife. 

Bastard. 

“You-you-” You were still trying hard to catch your breath and Prompto winced a little at how desperate you were. 

“Don’t say anything-it’s not-" 

"You. are. the father. of my. CHILD!!!!” You finally managed to tear your scream out at him and Prompto stood in shock…you were still denying it. He knew it was impossible for him to be the father of your baby, yet you still denied it. 

It was time for a wake up call. 

Saying your name harshly, Prompto practically spits his words at you from anger as he uses his hands to make gestures towards himself to prove a point. “I’m a clone. I’m sterile-I’m infertile. I can’t. have. children. So why don’t you just come off of it already?" 

"You-” You glance up at Prompto, the color still drained from your face and tears forming and he felt hope that you would finally tell the truth. Apparently not, though, as Prompto listened to your desperate pleas again. “That’s-that’s impossible, Prompto," 

"Just admit the father is Ignis!” Prompto screamed, ignoring the lights from the neighbor’s houses turning on and seeing curtains being pulled back to observe the commotion. 

“But it’s NOT!” You screamed at him, still hunched over and coughing harshly from running far too hard for someone who was as pregnant as you. Prompto told himself not to fall for your tears, but your face was genuine and your tears seemed legit as you continued to scream at him. “The father is you! IT’S YOU! I’ve never had sex with anyone BUT you since we started dating, so it’s NOT. POSSIBLE!!!" 

"I’m infertile! How many times do I have to say it before you finally get it? I know the truth. I know, okay?” Shaking his head, Prompto finally turned and walked away with the idea of Gladio’s apartment in his mind but your anguished scream made him turn around. 

When he saw you on your knees and clutching your stomach, Prompto couldn’t help it no matter how angry or betrayed he felt-he tore himself over to you and cradled your shoulders gently as you continued to sob uncontrollably, muttering words that Prompto couldn’t understand because you were crying so hard. He tried to calm you down, but felt his eyes widen when he saw the dark patch of damp clothing that appeared on your maternity pants. 

“I’ve summoned an ambulance,” If Prompto wasn’t so worried about you, he would have told Ignis to piss off, but you gripped onto Prompto’s cheeks and made him make eye contact with you. 

Your eyes were wide with fear and were tinged with red swelling, but you kept talking, trying something-anything-to convince him that this baby was his. “It’s you-the father is you. I would never do that to you, I would never hurt you like that. Neither would Ignis…please, Prompto, I can’t do this without you," 

"But I’m-” Prompto tried to argue, but your grips on his cheeks tightened as you continued to sob. 

“I love you, Prompto Argentum. I love you so fucking much, please believe me. I would never lie to you about this, this baby is yours. You’re going to be a father-I want to do this with you, I want to be a mother to your baby. Please, I’m begging you, please-" 

Prompto shakes his head and finally tries to soothe you, telling you that you were overworking yourself and that you should stop panicking, but you shake your head vehemently, the sobbing making your contractions even worse as you gripped onto Prompto’s shoulders and held onto him for dear life. "I love you-I’m having a baby with you," 

Looking into your eyes, Prompto couldn’t see any doubt, any lies in your tear filled orbs as you continued to beg…but Prompto’s thoughts went back to those stupid documents, those documents that he wished he’d never seen. 

"I was so nervous when I told you I was pregnant,” You confessed, hoping and praying he would see that you were telling the truth. “I was so nervous that you didn’t want to be a father, that you weren’t ready. But you were so happy, so thrilled and I couldn’t not be enthusiastic as well. I don’t know what I did to make you doubt that you were the father of the baby, but you are. You’re the father," 

"Alright-” Prompto tries to soothe you, but the ambulance’s sharp sirens cover his words as it pulls up. The next few minutes are a blur and before you know it, you’re loaded onto a stretcher and are being whisked away into an ambulance. 

Prompto had never felt so torn in his life…logic told him that it wasn’t possible that the baby was yours, but you seemed so sure. You were positive that Prompto was the father-so either you were determined to keep up the ruse or-

Feeling a sharp whack on the back of his head, Prompto looked in shock and a little in anger at Ignis, who stood there looking angry at Prompto as well-well, at his cheek, really since he couldn’t see where Prompto’s eyes were. 

“You are the father, you imbecile,” Ignis spat, the anger in his tone evident by his milky eyes and his furious stance. “Are you so dense that you don’t know your own wife?" 

As if to clarify how much you loved and needed him, Prompto heard you scream his name from inside the ambulance and desperately ask the ambulance techs inside the cab where your husband was. 

"If the father is out here, we need to go!” The driver of the ambulance started to get into the car and called out for the father-for Prompto-was Prompto the father? Was it possible? 

“Prompto!” Prompto’s heart broke the second he heard your desperate voice and pleading for him as he felt his resistance to be by your side break away piece by piece. “I’m-I’m scared-I don’t want to be alone, Prom, please-" 

Any resistance he felt was now shattered and Prompto practically shoved the poor techs aside so he could scramble into the ambulance to be by your side.

Small gentle cooing woke you up to see yourself in a much more comfortable room in the hospital than what you were originally in when you finally gave birth. Following the sound, you saw the baby’s father and the person you felt you loved more and more each and every day cooing at the small bundle in his arms as the baby continued to stare up in wonder at their father. 

Prompto looked up and saw you staring and he smiled at you brightly. "They have your hair," 

"They have your eyes,” you repeat what you had said when the baby had first been born and Prompto had seemed too nervous to hold the baby. When you had scooted over to give Prompto room to sit on the hospital bed with you, he seemed to be more comfortable in holding the baby then. 

“You’re the father,” you repeat again, looking for any sort of doubt or resentment in Prompto’s eyes. 

There was none as Prompto just smiled at you. “I know,”

[aquarianlights]

Little Rant About My BPD And The Super Awful Psych Industry

You know, I used to think schizo-affective disorder was my most prominent disorder. . .but I've slowly come to realize that Borderline is my most prominent disorder. I exhibit every single symptom; even the obscure ones. And it sucks. It fucking sucks. I hate having both disorders. . .but if I had to choose one to get rid of, it would be my BPD. I cannot even express to you guys how much BPD has destroyed my life and obliterated my relationships. I can't even tell you how many friends I have lost due to my being BPD. Do the meds help BPD? No, not really. There really aren't any meds out there that dulls any of my symptoms even a little. . .becauae my BPD is so much more aggressive than most peoples. The most recent anti-psychotic I was prescribed helped a TINY BIT. . .but I was mostly on it to help with the schizo-affective and the suicidal ideation I had. And, yeah, it helped those things. . .but it turned me into a very unhappy person. And the worst part of it was that antipsychotics make you so numb to the world and the things and people and events around you. . .that you can't even RECOGNIZE the fact that you've turned into a very different, very unhappy person. It was only when I finally quit my antipsychotics cold turkey that I realized I wasn't even close to "me" when I was on them. I had no life left in me. I saw everything in black, grey, and white, instead of the normal neon, rainbow colours I see. I really had no desire to do anything. Nothing was exciting anymore. Yeah, these are all depression symptoms. . .but it wasn't depression because I was completely content with my life like that. . .because I didn't know any better. . .because the antipsychotic was blinding and numbing me to the reality of the situation. When I finally got off of it. . .I had never felt more free and happy and full in my entire life! Getting off antipsychotics was the best thing I ever did for myself. But, at the same time, the little bit of help it was giving to my BPD, along with the MASSIVE help it was giving to my schizo disorder and suicidal ideation just. . .vanished. However, the major difference this time was that I was on a stable dosage of the mood stabilizer I had been taking. I didn't stop taking or change the mood stabilizer. . .and it has helped me IMMENSELY in learning how to cope. I can handle SO MUCH now in my life. I can handle almost anything anyone throws at me. I just don't get affected by things like I used to. It's fucking fantastic!! Yet. . .although my other disorders have been either taken care of or are being coped with without medications. . .my BPD still remains completely and totally untreated---neither with coping skills OR medication. BPD is the only thing still sabotaging my life and, especially, my relationships. And I don't know how to stop it or what the hell to do. In fact, I don't even really know much about BPD. I know only what my psychs have told me, which is mostly all relating to me. Telling me I have a very aggressive form of BPD. Telling me that I have every single symptom. . .even the obscure ones. . .albeit I don't even know what any of them are. And the fact that if I ever want to have a healthy relationship, I need to learn to cope with my BPD or at least get on medications to control it. Basically. . .all I know is that I have it. And that it's the reason why none of my relationships---platonic or romantic---ever work out. And I also know it's slowly ruining my life. How is it doing all of this? Well, tbh, I have no idea. When I was diagnosed with BPD years upon years ago. . .I used to tune out when my psych would explain my disorders to me and tell me how they worked. I absolutely hate everything about psychology and I didn't want to hear ANY of it. I still hate psychology to this day. I think the whole practice is a fucking joke. And I think the same way about psychiatry, too. Fuck everything related to the psych field. It's all a bunch of fucking tests on human beings that never come out conclusive. No psych ever knows wtf they're talking about. All psych meds are extremely experiment. THE ENTIRE PSYCH FIELD AND ANYTHING RELATING TO IT IS A FUCKING JOKE. You know what psychs REALLY get paid for? No, not advice. . .they get paid to have a fucking opinion. To give their unwanted and usually wrong opinion out to unsuspecting, innocent, ill, desperate people who will do anything a "professional" will tell them to do. And it's not right!!! It's not right at all. All psychs do is take advantage of sick people for their money. And the ones that aren't getting paid "enough" for their liking? They don't even fucking PRETEND to care like most psychs do. Psychs just put on this front of caring and love and concern so they can get that money and so you will trust them and keep coming back. They want to FOOL YOU into thinking they care. . .GUESS WHAT. They don't. They never did. They never will. You are merely an experiment for them to play with. Psychs are just people who get paid to have ridiculous opinions and perform experimental treatments on innocent, yet sick, human beings. Where was I going with this. . .OH RIGHT OKAY. So I used to tune out everything she said when she would explain psych-related things to me. . .and it wasn't just her. It was with every psych I had from then on, in psych wards and in private out in the world. I would tune them all out. So I don't know anything about BPD. I got re-diagnosed several times within the past 7 years to keep my mental health records up to date. And every single time, without fail, my BPD is, by far, the strongest of all my disorders and most prominent. I've seen disorders come and go in me. I've healed a fuckton over the years and I don't have NEARLY as many illnesses as I used to. But BPD has remained constant in my life since my teenage years. Yet. . .I still know nothing about it. Not that I actually want to. . .but part of me feels like I would be able to cope better and control my symptoms better if I knew what to look out for. This is an insanely difficult dilemma to me. I would do anything in my power to stay ignorant on all the disorder explanations. I don't need or want to know any of that bullshit. . .because that's all it is. . .complete and utter bs. Psychs playing with big words to scare people into submission. Which, btw, everything I have described about psychs in general? ...seems to be a constant no matter where you go. Private practice psychs, corporate working psychs, sliding scale psychs, psych ward psychs....doesn't matter where they work or who they work for. They're all the same. I have been to them all. Also doesn't matter where in the US you are... I've been in various types of therapy in Florida, Colorado, North Carolina, Georgia, Massachusetts... doesn't matter where in the US they are, either. They're all the fucking same. No, they don't care. Don't be fooled by them pretending to care in order to get your business and your money. They will NEVER care. How the hell can someone care about a complete stranger like how these psychs portray how much they "care"??? They enjoy playing god with your life. "Oh, this script can make EVERYTHING BETTER...but it might make you want to kill yourself, too. Experimentation time~! Whooo~!" They are paid to throw useless opinions at you. And you, being desperate, are stupid enough to take them. The world is gonna die off. The human race is going to painfully burn to death in some fiery explosion from the sun, if we don't all kill each other sooner than that. We all die in the end. So why the fuck are you trying to get someone you don't even know to give you their opinion and label it as advice? Why are you trying to force someone you don't know to care about you? They don't...and they never will; But they can sure as hell fake it! So all this is happening. . .so why the fuck not go out and ENJOY LIFE instead??? Why not just bury your problems for the day and have fucking funnnn! Like I've said since high school, "Live fast, die young." I'm not going to waste my time in therapy anymore. I think I am living proof that therapy doesn't work or help. At all. In fact, it may just make everything worse. And all I'm trying to say is these are MY useless opinions. Don't freak out if you disagree; Just move along. People are allowed to have opinions. . .as long as they have solid reasons to back them up, like all of mine do (via a plethora of personal experience). Yeah, I know, I'm on a mood stabilizer and an anti-anxiety med and they work damn well. But you know how I WORKED UP TO THE RIGHT MEDS? Literal YEARS of experimentation. So yes. . .the psych practice is all just a bunch of mixed up experiments that work differently on every human being. Fuck that. Fuck all of this. And most of all. . .fuck BPD. I would trade anything not to have BPD anymore. Hasn't my life and relationships been destroyed enough? Why the hell do I need HELP destroying everything I work so hard to accomplish??? Fuck BPD. This is legit the most debilitating mental illness I have. . .and have ever encountered. Period. PS: I didn't write this to piss anyone in the psych field off. I wrote it to vent. Because I'm KINDA needed to get this out to the world. And hell yeah it made me feel a WHOLE lot better! If you disagree. . .just quietly agree to disagree and move on. If you're REALLY so inclined as to tell me you disagree. . .at least add in why. And do it FUCKING NICELY. Don't be one of those people. Don't be that super obsessive anon hater with nothing better to do than harass innocent people like me. I am 200% more likely to actually listen to a single word you say and listen to the meaning of your message if you're nice about it. Fuck the hell off if you're not. Kay? Fucking kay. Aight. I'm done. Peace, fam. 🖖

[tonystarktogo]

Can you talk more about non-abstinent ace!Tony? As someone who has a very complicated relationship to sex, I love the idea of ace!Tony, but I don't see him as someone who never has sex - not even someone who doesn't have fun having sex, necessarily, but as someone who just views sex very differently from the "social standard" view. I personally like to say "it's more like a good game of chess" and I don't quite understand the emotional value people attach to it.

We can and should, anon! I’m always willing to talk about ace!Tony! And really, I love the good game of chess comparison, it fits really well into my own headcanons! *cough* andalsomaybecauseIcanidentifywiththataswell *cough*

(That’s not to say that I don’t adore abstinent or sex-repulsed ace!Tony too because they are amazing and deserve all the love, but they’re not really the point of this post, so I’ll leave them out of this for now *gently kisses their foreheads*)

Now, there’s lots of things I could talk about in regards to non-abstinent ace!Tony, but I think I’m going with something I could absolutely see happening in the Player Bucky/Ace Tony ‘verse. I hope you don’t mind!  I just realised I basically wrote half a story plot down. Also the ‘good game of chess’ turned into a simple ‘game of chess’ instead. I’m sorry?

See, the thing is Tony knows Bucky likes sex. It’s far from a secret. He also knows though (after a couple of months dating) that Bucky would never push him. In fact he goes out of his way to make sure Tony is always comfortable and never feels pressured. He shrugs off comments about ‘dying of blue balls’ like they’re nothing, and once, when Tony asks him about whether it bothers him , all he says is “I knew you were ace when I asked you out. The only one that pisses me off is Stone, he keeps acting like you’re entitled to have sex once you’re in a relationship, and ace or not, that’s some fucked up shit” and that’s that. (Concerning their non-sex life at least, not concerning Stone.)

Tony loves that about Bucky, but he also just loves Bucky period. And so eventually he starts thinking about sleeping with his boyfriend after all. The first time he has these thoughts (and lots of times after) he talks it through with Pepper and Jan, just to be sure that he doesn’t act out of some misguided sense of guilt or something. But it’s not like he feels he owes Bucky for ‘holding out for so long’, or some similar ace-phobic bullshit. It’s just that Tony isn’t repulsed by sex, and it seems like it might be a nice thing to share with Bucky, just sometimes. And yes, maybe it’s more for Bucky’s sake than his own, but it’s not like he’d suffer through it, and if he absolutely doesn’t like it, they’ll never do it again. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as he’s truly comfortable with it, right?

So, Tony thinks about that for quite some time and eventually he decides that yes, this is something he wants to do with Bucky. Only problem is, he sorta forgets to tell his boyfriend, which leads to Bucky freaking out because he thinks he (or some other asshole) has pressured Tony into doing this. Tony meanwhile is pissed about being denied the ability to chose what he does with his own body. It escalates from there. Thankfully, after some cooling-off, pouting and the intervention of their clear-headed friends, they have a much more productive talk.

Tony explains to Bucky that he would like to have sex with him and that he trusts Bucky to stop if he changes his mind after all. He also explains (a bit sharper) that his sexuality has no bearing on his ability to give his consent, thank you very much. He apologises for not talking about all of this with Bucky first and also stresses how much he appreciates Bucky’s consideration in general.

Bucky is carefully listening to what Tony says, and it’s not that he wants to tell him what to do, but he can’t help having some doubts about this (unexpected) change of mind. It’s actually Rhodey who helps him when he tells Bucky that he trusts Tony to say no when he doesn’t want something all the time regarding his comfort zones, so why should this be any different?

They eventually have sex. It’s both, a very big deal and no deal at all. Tony still doesn’t get what society’s fixation on this is all about and he still feels the same amount of sexual attraction for Bucky he did before: none at all. But it’s not bad and Bucky is real sweet, and though Tony doesn’t particularly care for it, he supposes he doesn’t mind doing it sometimes. He thinks with a wry grin that this is how Jan must feel when her boyfriend drags her to one of those hockey matches she spends texting back and forth with him. He also thinks he’s very lucky when Bucky laughs heartily about the comparison instead of being insulted by it.

And really, in the end nothing much changes. Tony is still asexual. Bucky is still bisexual. Tony still loves Bucky. Bucky still loves Tony. They’re still together, and most nights, when Bucky winks obnoxiously at Tony and whispers ‘stracciatella’ into his ear, all they do is cuddle on the sofa, eat ice cream, make out and go to bed together.

Eventually, rumours will go around and Tony will face some ugly confrontations about being a ‘fake ace’ and ‘just putting on a show’, which sucks, but he’s been denied the validity of his sexuality all his life by narrow-minded bigots, he’s not going to let the latest haters drag him down. Because Tony is ace in every possible way, he knows it, his friends know it, Bucky knows it, and that’s all that really matters anyways.

By the way, you (and everyone else) are more than welcome to send me more ace Tony headcanons! Please share the goodies!!