#you see yourself as our enemies see you
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It never aired, but make no mistake. It ALWAYS is doing me psychic damage.
13x14 via @spnscripthunt-inactive
They want each other to be more than a weapon, more than a soldier, more than a hammer, more than a comrade, more than a blunt instrument, more than--
They want more FOR each other, that's the thing!
#at the heart of it#dean-cas things#daddy's blunt little instrument#i'm not a hammer as you say#cas you're more than a weapon#you see yourself as our enemies see you#destiel#meredith always destroying me#nobody cares but this was also the thesis of spnwin……..
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i think i’ve learned a lot when it comes to not applying my own values to the media i consume
for my script analysis class yesterday, we discussed two gentleman from verona, and nearly every classmate of mine was up in arms about how sexist the story is.
and i'm not saying it's not, or that it's not infuriating to read. but i'm also not putting my energy into getting upset about something written 500 or so years ago. and i'm not about to put my own beliefs onto these characters that are not me. i'm going to let their choices speak for themselves, and interpret it in the context of the story.
all that said, this now brings me to the point of alastor in episode 5, and how viscerally people are responding to it. those of you up in arms about the choices he’s making, and the violent threat he gave husk, you’re missing the entire point of his character, of this place they’re in, of the story being told. he’s an overlord, and he became an overlord by killing much bigger overlords and broadcasting their deaths over the radio.
HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON.
if you started this show with the belief that every character working the hotel is a good person, you’re in the wrong place. watch the good place if you’re looking for a good wholesome story about getting dead sinners into heaven, because that’s not what this show is about.
you’re more than welcome to hate him after seeing the way he exerted power over a being whose soul he owns, but you’re doing the media you’re watching a disservice by writing it off so quickly. if you don’t like to be uncomfortable watching media, watch something else. this is an uncomfortable show, it handles uncomfortable topics, and it’s going to be an uncomfortable ride, and if you’re not up for something like that, then you should take a break from it and pick up something else. you don’t have to get online and defend your own ideals while you watch a show that goes against your ideals.
#hazbin hotel spoilers#that’s not even touching on the fact that husk was an overlord too#he also owned souls that he used as currency to supply his gambling addiction#he’s also not a good person!!#the majority of these characters are in hell for a reason: they’re not good people#i quite frankly love the way this show blurs the lines between good and evil#our heroes are sinners and overlords and demons. while the enemies are angels. but that doesn’t mean our heroes are good people.#you HAAAVE to come to terms with that!! you have to stop seeing the world in black and white or you’re not going to survive this world#if you’re upset because alastor was cruel to husk fine! be upset! but explore why you’re taking yourself out of that world.#in this world sinners own other people. there’s no ifs ands or buts#‘oh alastor is a poc why would he own people’ he was a serial killer when he was alive do you really think you can apply your values to that#(and this is me speaking as a poc. specifically a mixed race poc.)#i cannot speak to who vivzie is as a person. but i’m interested in the message she’s writing and thus far i’m finding it compelling#it’s a similar story as the good place but it’s going the distance to explore even worse people than those in the good place#i don’t think it’s responsible to write something off just because unsavory things happen in it.#and she’s giving us so many different types of representation that don’t involve race (although we’re also getting a lot of hispanic rep)#just like cool your jets and maybe process some of the anger you’re feeling. and maybe nothing will change.#but if you act. instead of react. if you understand why you’re feeling some type of way and then make a choice.#that’s so much stronger and more responsible than reacting and not thinking anything through#hazbin hotel#alastor#husk#hazbin alastor#hazbin husk#anyway let me get off my soapbox#long post
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hi! this is my small, gentle reminder that you don’t have to be like other people. I know the best parts of other people are beautiful and exciting and just so cool, but you don’t need to be everything. it’s okay not to be as good at watercolor as your sister or not give good advice like your mom does and it’s okay to love qualities in other people. sometimes other people’s words or their idiosyncrasies or the way they part their hair is so wonderful that you want to join, you want to feel the way about yourself, about the not-as-great parts of yourself that you do about the best parts of them. and it’s okay if you start listening to The Killers because it’s your brother’s favorite band or if you decide you want to get red converse like the ones your best friend has. but it’s okay if you can’t “keep up” with their grades or will never be able to do eyeliner as well as they can or maybe it seems like they just love life more than you do. I just want you to know that there are unattainable parts of you too. you can like things about other people that you don’t have, and you don’t have to give a compliment thinking god I wish I was like that. you don’t have to be like that. it’s okay to just be the things you are. you don’t have to be everything.
#found this in my drafts from a couple years ago & thought it was still pretty relevant haha#this isn't at anyone other than myself but#sometimes i look at the people i love and think !!!!! this part about them is so wonderful!!!!!#i want to be wonderful in the same way!!!! because i love it in them and so i want to love it in me too#but you can't have every quality and you can't be good at everything#it's okay to be what you already are#not to say that you can't try to emulate your role models don't take pieces of your loved ones for yourself#we are collages of every person we've ever loved ever known#but you don't have to#you don't have to take everything you don't have to be everything#you don't have to be like someone you love#someone you know is loveable#to be loveable too.#you can. i started listening to the magnus archives because of my friends and i like to try my hand at aus i loved reading#and those things bring me a lot of joy!!! and i love them!!#but sometimes it can turn into. why isn't this as good as theirs why can't i look like them or have as cool clothes as them or whatever#'i'm so sick of myself / rather be rather be / anyone anyone else'#'i know their beauty's not my lack / i know their win is not my loss'#maybe this is a very selfish mindset. it feels like it and ha#i wish i wasn't as selfish a friend as my friends are#do you see how this works#hm. this probably doesn't make much sense.#i just. you don't have to be everything#you are already the things you are and that's already enough#fiona speaks#i just think comparison#comparison and shame are at the root of so many of our problems. they are one of the greatest enemies to us#take pieces but. ha a uquiz told me once that your fuel does not have to be shame#idk just. yeah. what other people have is not your lack#idk
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The fact that a Ukrainian twitter mutual of mine, who lives in a front (!!!) Donbass city, an area often targeted and that was partially and temporarily occupied by Russia back in 2014 (fully under Ukraine's control today though thank goodness), messages me every time she has wi-fi to make sure I'm ok is just. wild.
#not things i expected to see in this timeline#esp. since like. it has always been the other way around#and yeah with a bit of rockets and a bit of terror here every now and then#but not to the extent it's been now ofc#it's also touching but like#bro you are in an existential war with an enemy far more powerful than you#here our biggest existential threat is our evil dysfunctional government#and yes a genocidal terror oragnisation that wants us all dead but like they do not have the means to for now#they will kill as many of us as they can - which we have already seen - but they simply don't have the means to wipe us all out for now#like i'm touched but im also like bro please worry about yourself first <3
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the suyeol lore is so crazy
#their relationship is so interesting to me like aoughhhh#like you see subaek and even tho they don't talk a lot on camera (most of the time) those two get along so well#they understand and respect each other so much they take their job very seriously and they're actually good friends as a result#suyeol on the other hand is 12 years of slowburn like it's crazyyyyy#you admire him and believe in him like no one else does and then you discover that he isn't that great actually#so you get disappointed and distance yourself and then you both are in this weird limbo for years as you grow up#and slowly but surely you rediscover how your relationship works because both of you are adults now and now we're here#like yeah suhito was stressed back then the context was not great for a leader AND tao was still with exo so lmao pcy could fend for himself#so i get ittttt they were going through it but. i need to know what he said to pcy like oh my god was it really that bad 😭#i wonder if they've ever mentioned it 🤔#writing this bc i just remembered that one time they had to describe e/o and suho was like#“you're my cute dongsaeng i admire your talents so much and oh btw you're not uncomfortable around me these days right? uwu”#LIKE ??? KING YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AND LEAVE US IN THE DARK#(<- they totally can it's not our business lmao)#idolization to tentative ''''enemies'''' to coworkers to friends to good friends is crazy#i need to look into this properly omg let's do some research#anyways i want a subunit :) they can be called exo sc too sehun won't mind bc these are like his favorite people in the world!!!#idk i find the exos and their bond so interesting because you truly have it all with them there's a whole spectrum of friendships#and i appreciate that it's not like with b*s & taegi (if you don't know who they are... let's keep it that way <3)#because those two were just too different to get along. it was extreme. but bighit forced it so much it was painful to see sometimes#and then the hawaii trip came and they painted it like a ''see? after this trip they get along so well now <3'' moment#1. girl let's be serious for a sec 😐 and 2. it's not our business!!!!! focus on making good music!!!!!#i'm so glad exo didn't have to go through something like that bc i just know that they'd have disbanded by now sjfsifjsk#the saranghaja sprite isn't that intense we lovr freedom of choice (keeping in mind that they were under sm) <33333#so YEAH. can you guys tell i can't sleep hehe :)#dara.t#suho and chanyeol
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i think its probably a good and healthy use of your time to look through a trans persons blog to try to find out of they’re secretly a terf
#what could possibly go wrong?#/sarcasm#not saying this doesnt happen but i kinda get the itching feeling that this is one of those community destroying things my friends :))))))!#me when i decide trans ppl i dont like aremy entire enemy 100% always#yall really think terfs are able to swallow their pride long enough for the long con of pretending to be trans?#that thing they hate more than anything and see as purely disgusting and the source of degeneracy in our society?#ok#kinda doubt thats a frequent occurance enough for you to become a detective trying to sleuth out terfs in the trans community#hey-hey bud- maybe-- just maybe-- if you see a trans person psewing terfy sounding shit. maybe just address that#maybe just tell them they're posting terfy shit instead of. idk. calling their identity into question#as if you could ever know who is actually who they say they are online. get over yourself lmao.#literally doing the thing.#im out here calling trans ppl out all the time for the terfy shit they post w/o doubting their transness. its not hard.#i promise you do not know strangers online more than they know themselves and that 'sinking feeling' you get means jack shit tbqh.#expect the unexpected and dont assume shit and you'll end up much better off in these situations#lest it becomes obvious you were being transphobic and that person is 100% verifibly trans.
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When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”
He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)
I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.
What is your objective?
Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.
I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.
I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.
Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.
Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.
How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?
Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.
Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?
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posts about the alt-right pipeline being compassionate towards young men while radical leftists shun and shame them are not fucking saying "the men are becoming violent because feminists are too mean!" and if that is your takeaway you need to get off tumblr until you've better honed your critical thinking skills.
those posts are talking about how effective the language and approach you take in your activism can be. this is literally cult deprogramming 101. if someone is being taken in by a violent or dangerous group, that violent or dangerous group is usually offering them compassion and solace while working hard to convince them everyone else in the world is their enemy. you are under no obligation to coddle or act compassionate toward these men and their violent ideologies, but if you have the means to try, it is something that you can do to make a tangible difference.
radicalized people are often only one loving friend or family member or external voice away from being de-radicalized. of course that is not always the case, but it very often is. a lot of y'all rightfully understand that you do not carry the burden of being that voice, but a lot of y'all also have a lot of internalized ideas about morals and punitive justice and have simply written off these people as deserving of only the worst and not worth saving.
ten years ago, my grandmother was a fox news watching republican who voted red in every election and very well could have fallen down the qanon rabbit hole if not for me and her daughter challenging her compassionately, walking her through hypotheticals that validated her feelings & proving why they were false, & being patient with her despite our extreme division in political ideology. it was frustrating fucking work! but i decided i wanted to do it, because i could see the horizon and i could see me making a difference!
"misogynists have been saying feminists are too mean for years, get new material" that is not the fucking POINT. the point is that you, feminist, can be the compassionate voice that guides your brother, your father, your cousin, your grandfather away from fucking becoming or staying a nazi. you can show them compassion and companionship. you can be the woman they think of when their alt-right bros try to convince them that women are the enemy. and you can choose to crystallize that image of yourself so wholly in their mind's eye as worth protecting that they may very well choose to reject those harmful ideas.
it's not saying you HAVE to do it! it's saying you CAN do it! don't you 'firebomb a walmart' people all love taking change into your own hands? where the fuck is that energy right now, huh?
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do you actually care about trans men or do you relegate male pregnancy to the status of "gross but funny fanfiction trope" at best and "literal body horror" at worst? do you actually care about trans men or have you accepted without question the ideas that bottom growth is a borderline-torturously painful process and phalloplasty is a dangerous surgery with objectively unsatisfactory results because they confirm your implicit assumptions about the violence and horror of masculinization? do you actually care about trans men or do you think testosterone being a controlled substance is fair because you prioritize fairness in sports more highly than transmasculine lives? do you actually care about trans men or do you distance yourself from us as we transition and make half-joking comments about us being traitors because you view transmasculinity as a shift from ally to enemy? do you actually care about trans men or do you get mad at us when we read transmasculine experiences into female characters because you see it as an act of theft and believe transmasculinity is inherently less valuable than womanhood? do you actually care about trans men or is your first thought when you see a transition timeline about how pretty the "before" picture is? do you actually care about trans men or does your interest in our lives begin and end with how badly you want a boypussy to fuck?
do we exist to you as real people or only in theory? do you read the stories we tell, listen to the music we make? how many of us can you name? when we speak, do you listen? would you fight for us? do you trust us to know ourselves best? are you our friend? do you mourn us when we're gone? do you care for us while we're still here?
#tired of people who claim to be in solidarity with trans people and trans liberation despite not even sparing a single thought for trans men#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#trans men#transmascs
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A Tale Of Two Dragons
Summary: After suffering a head injury, Princess Y/N forgets the past two years of her life, including her marriage to Aegon. Who will do anything to win her back.
18+ ONLY MDNI Targcest, Smut, Cheesy, Medieval Romcom
Y/N wakes terribly hot, her head throbs and there is something wrapped round her waist. She peels open her eyes…an arm. She flicks it away.
“What is the matter, my dearest love?” A voice grumbles, from behind her. “The maester says you should remain abed for several days.
“Why?” The word is past her lips before she can stop it.
“You hit your head.”
Y/N reaches up toward her throbbing temple, scraping against the forming scab beneath the bandage. Her fingers come away wet.
“You mustn’t touch,” Aegon chides, “let me see.”
Aegon?
Y/N screams at the top of her lungs, rolling onto the floor.
“What is the matter?” Aegon peers over the edge of the mattress. “Does your head hurt?” He springs from the bed, grabbing a cup off the bedside table. “Here, milk of the poppy.” He attempts to bring the chalice to her lips.
Y/N slaps his hand away, the glass shattering over the floor. “Surely poison.”
“What?” Aegon breathes. “Why in the seven hells would it be poison, my heart?”
“Do not call me that.” Y/N snaps, feeling almost sorry for it as his face falls.
“Look at me,” he crouches down to her, cowering in the corner. “What’s happened?”
“I should be asking you! Why are you being kind to me? Why are you sleeping in my bed? Plotting to kill me?”
“I don’t want to kill you.” He huffs a laugh. Back are the sad, crestfallen eyes.
Y/N forces down the urge to punch him. “Why were you in my bed?”
“To be clear,” Aegon says, motioning behind him, “this is my bedchamber.”
Y/N searches the space behind him, he speaks true. This is not her room. “Why would I be in your bedchamber?”
Aegon’s upper lip twitches, “because you are my wife.”
Y/N laughs, “I am your wife.”
Aegon joins in, anxiously.
“You jest.” She wags a finger at him, “that is the Aegon I know. You have outdone yourself this time.”
Aegon’s eyes search hers for a moment more before he hollers, “guards!”
The doors fly open, “your grace?”
“We must have the grand maester.”
Y/N’s eyes track his movements. Pacing and pacing until the maester appears.
“Is your head troubling you, your grace?” He kneels before her. “I left you with milk of the poppy.”
“She needs more.” Aegon insists.
“She can have no more until the morrow.”
“She did not drink it.” Aegon shouts, “she tossed it away because she thought it poisoned.”
“I would never harm you, your grace. Surely you know that.” The maester addresses the princess directly.
“Not you, me.” Aegon throws up a hand. “She does not know who I am.”
“I know who you are and I do not like you.” Y/N argues.
“That is worse.” Aegon laments, “she does not remember our marriage or our-”
“Your grace,” the maester stops him. “Your lady wife has suffered an injury. It is best not to push the recollection of years past.”
“She will heal then?”
“I cannot say, the mind is unpredictable.”
Y/N narrows her eyes at the maester, “am I truly married to Aegon?”
“Yes, princess. For some two years now.”
“Nearly three,” Aegon corrects him, with a hand to his head.
Y/N’s breathing picks up, unable to calm herself.
“Princess, you must breathe slowly now.”
“I want my mother,” Y/N chokes out.
“I will get your mother,” Aegon offers, “just breathe.”
His command is foreign to her. That he would care. The maester fusses about her as they wait. “All is well, your grace, all is well.”
“I may faint.” She warns.
The maester begins fanning her with his hands.
Rhaenyra appears moments later, with Aegon hot on her heels. “What’s happened, my darling?”
“Mother,” Y/N reaches for her, sobbing against her shoulder.
“Hush now.” Rhaenyra cradles the back of her head, smoothing down her hair.
“I do not know how such a thing could h-happen.”
“What?” Rhaenyra begins swaying her like a babe.
“I woke up beside my sworn enemy, claiming to be my husband.” Y/N tells her, “and worst of all, everyone insists that it’s true. Am I truly married?”
“Yes.”
“To Aegon.”
“Yes.”
“And I am happy about it?”
“I’m afraid so,” Rhaenyra smiles. “You are quite taken with him.”
“To what degree is he hung?” Y/N scoffs. He must be-
Rhaenyra throws her head back with laughter, “I would not know, sweet girl.”
Y/N rolls her eyes, “he speaks true then?”
Rhaenyra nods.
“And we are in…” Y/N forces out the word, “love?”
“Very much so.”
Without warning, the princess faints in her mother’s arms.
————————————————————————
“And though all the realm wished for the princess to deliver a son, she blessed the prince with two daughters.”
Y/N comes to, blinking up at the ceiling. Pleased to find that she is in her own bed this time. She nearly finds herself comforted by the voice beside her, before looking over to realize it is Aegon. Seated in the arm chair with a brown leather book in his lap. She sits up, staring him down.
“Don’t,” he slowly closes the book, holding up both hands, “don’t scream.”
“What do you want?” Y/N groans. “I’ve already told you I don’t remember.”
“I’d like to court you.” His lips twitch, nervously.
“Really?” She huffs a laugh. “You, Aegon Targaryen, would rather court me than go find another well suited lady, of high status, to marry you?”
“Yes.”
“You want me?”
“Very much so.”
“More than anyone else?”
Aegon twists his wedding band around his finger. “Yes, more than anyone.”
“Well…what would we do together?” She crosses both arms over her chest, “I can’t imagine we have much in common.”
“Talk, stroll the gardens, fly together on dragon back, whatever you’d like.”
“You told me this morning, I am to remain abed for several days.”
“That’s why I’ve brought this,” he waves the book at her, “thought it might keep you occupied. That or I could dance for you.”
“How well do you dance?”
“Not very,” Aegon admits, “that’s what makes it entertaining.”
Y/N leans up, trying to catch a glimpse of the book’s title. “What book is that?”
“A tale of two dragons.” Aegon pulls it away, “do you want to hear the story or not?”
“I suppose,” Y/N sighs, sinking back into the pillows. “I’ve nothing better to do.”
————————————————————————
For four days he reads to her from that silly book. With each day that passes Y/N finds herself more invested.
“But if a son is expected of the prince, why does he not want for a son?”
Aegon smiles as he closes the book. “That’s all for today, you must rest.”
“I am not tired,” Y/N argues.
“Your eyes tell a different story.”
“Truly, I’m not tired.” She tells him, toying with her marriage ring. “My head hurts is all.”
“Might I try something?”
Y/N scowls, reluctantly closing the distance between them.
His hands cup her face, moving up to her throbbing skull, running his fingertips over her scalp.
It feels nice, though Y/N will never admit it.
“It will help if you stop making such sour faces, Y/N.” Aegon remarks, smoothing his thumb over the furrow between her brows. “My head aches just watching you.”
“You might wear a similar expression after being dealt my hand.” It is odd, her name on his lips. As though he rarely speaks it, save for when he’s angry with her.
“Yes, how devastating it must be; doted on by the man who loves you.” Aegon muses.
“You used to call me a bastard at family gatherings.” Y/N remembers that clearly.
“I used to do a great many things I am not proud of.” Aegon admits. “But the man I am now, the man I am with you…I take great pride in.”
“It will take time, if I’m to trust you again.”
“I have time.” Aegon assures her, “though at present, there is somewhere else I need be.” He presses his lips to her forehead in parting. “Good night.”
Y/N cups his wrist, at the side of her face, for just a moment. “Good night.”
————————————————————————
On the fifth day, the grand maester allows Y/N to leave her apartments, and by the tenth day, she is cleared to fly. Being amongst the clouds always helps clear her mind, mayhaps she will recall something.
“Good morrow, your grace.” Marcello, the dragon keeper greets her.
“Good morrow,” Y/N smiles. “Might you saddle Stormborn for me?”
“At once, Princess. I’m glad you are well.”
Marcello returns a few moments later with the lilac dragon, whining as she nuzzles into Y/N’s hands.
“Issi ao daor biare naejot ūndegon issa, uēpa raqiros?” Are you not happy to see me, old friend? Has something happened between them that she’s forgotten?
Stormborn hums, nudging at Y/N with her head.
“What is the matter with her?” Y/N turns to Marcello.
The dragon keeper lowers his eyes, “she wants for Sunfyre, your grace.”
“She wants-” Y/N breaks off, clunking a fist to her head, “she wants Aegon’s dragon?”
“They are quite close these days.” The man in question says, stalking up behind her. “I heard you were flying out. I thought I might join you.” Aegon explains his presence.
“This is preposterous.” Y/N scoffs, “you mean to tell me we have become so deeply entwined that even our dragons cannot be parted?”
Aegon’s lips turn downward as his brows rise, “yes.”
“What can be done about it?”
“You loved me once, my hope is, you will love me again.” Aegon brushes past her, resting a hand on her dragon’s snout. “There’s naught to be done about it.”
To add further insult, Stormborn leans into his touch, cooing happily.
“I suppose I should pet your dragon.” It’s meant to be a threat, a means to get even.
“Go on,” Aegon encourages, “you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Sunfyre?”
The golden boy begins to serenade her with a low melody. Y/N rests her temple against his head, glaring at Aegon. It is not the dragon’s fault.
“Your dragon understands English?”
“As does yours.” Aegon informs her, “they are highly intelligent creatures.”
“Pōnta issi mēre rūsīr īlva.” They are one with us.
Aegon smiles, “indeed.”
“Do you not speak-”
“Nyke kostagon emagon naejot…vestragon mirrī.” I can have to…say a little.
Y/N bites back a grin, “I could teach you.”
He starts to say something else, but she covers his mouth with her hand.
“Later,” she leans in, pressing a kiss to the back of her own hand. Had it not been there…it would’ve been his lips. Which means nothing, muscle memory, surely. “I’m sorry.”
He catches her wrist, bringing her hand away.“Don’t be.”
————————————————————————-
Y/N enjoys evening strolls with Aegon in the garden, but on occasion she walks alone, outside the walls, wandering near the woods.
“Wait!”
Y/N whips her head around to see Aegon charging at her, knocking her backwards before the steel trap snaps closed near their feet. Two rows of long, jagged teeth, meant to catch animals. She stares at him, in disbelief.
“They doubled the number of traps round the castle in these past years. I did not know if you’d recall.” Aegon explains, still holding her in the safety of his arms.
“You…imbecile!” Y/N returns the awkward embrace.
“Please, call me husband.” Aegon smirks.
“You could’ve been maimed.”
“Better me than you.”
Y/N groans in frustration, “quit doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Charming me.” She pulls away enough to see him.
No, not the sad eyes.
“I should like to know you better first.” Imbecile, she curses herself.
“What do you say we go back to your rooms and I will read to you?” Aegon suggests, “I’ll even bring cake.”
There it is, that tugging in her chest. “I do love cake.”
“When you were-” Aegon trails off, “there was a time all you would eat was cake.”
Y/N presses a hand to her head, “when I was what?”
“In due time, my dearest love.” Aegon smiles, sadly. “The grand maester says we mustn’t push, you’ve made great progress already.”
————————————————————————
She recalls a great many things over the next weeks. Trying and failing to teach Aegon High Valryian, eating cake with him and laughing until their sides ache. But there are a number of things she cannot recall.
“Where is it you go?” She wonders, “when you are not with me? You said,” Y/N closes her eyes until the words come to her, “you said you want always to be with me.”
Aegon’s eyes widen, “yes, I did say that. You remember?”
“Not nearly enough, just silly things.” Y/N admits, “sometimes…I think I might’ve been with child.”
Oh.
“That’s it, isn’t it? We’ve a child.”
“Two actually, daughters.”
“One after another like clockwork, then?” She arches a brow, resting a hand over her empty womb, “you’re late.”
Aegon grins, “both at once.”
“Efficient.”
“Well, we are nothing if not thorough.”
“With the way you look at me, I’m surprised there are only two children.”
“The birthing bed was not kind to you. I would love any child of ours, but I would not inflict such suffering upon you again.”
Y/N sighs, “you are so in love. I wish desperately to remember.”
“You could love me again.”
“What if it is different than what we shared? What if it does not please you as much?”
Aegon shakes his head, “then it will be different and I will be glad for it all the same.”
“Might I come with you to see them?” Y/N asks, wringing her hands.
“They should like that very much, they’ve been asking for you.”
“What are their names?”
“Dahlia and Visera.” Aegon tells her, “it might be difficult for you to tell them apart at first.”
“Dahlia is a Strong name.” Y/N whispers.
“And Visera was named for Viserys. If we would’ve had a son, we might’ve named him-”
“Laenor.” She breathes, recalling the smile on Aegon’s face as they’d discussed it, over the prominent swell of her belly. Subsequently leading his kisses to trail lower…her cheeks heats up.
“Yes,” Aegon swallows. Mayhaps he is recalling the same conversation.
The twins are playing happily on the floor, with their maids when Y/N enters the room behind Aegon.
“Papa!” They race to him, waiting to be taken into his arms.
“Hello, my darlings.” He holds one in each arm, kissing their little silver heads.
The child on the left sees Y/N first, blinking at her twice, to be sure. “Mama.”
The little girl on the right follows her gaze. “Mama!”
Y/N reaches for them out of instinct, hugging them to her as they are transferred into her arms from Aegon’s. “My girls.”
————————————————————————
Time passes, Aegon and Y/N have long since accepted she will never remember everything. What they share now is different, but wonderful, nonetheless.
Aegon and their children fill Y/N’s days with joy, though she still feels a bit guilty for the life she forgot.
She and her husband sneak out of their daughters’ rooms once they’ve found sleep. Walking back towards Y/N’s apartments with their arms linked.
Aegon bids her good night at the door, with a gentle kiss to her cheek.
“Stay,” Y/N insists, turning her face enough to catch his lips.
“What are you-” Aegon smiles against her mouth.
“It hurts to look at you and not touch you.” Y/N murmurs, reeling him back in and burying her hands in his hair. “If you mean what you say, and you will be happy with me even if I am different, I want to be happy with you.”
“It pleases me to hear you say this, my darling. But are you certain?”
“I want you in my bed, always,” Y/N whispers. “Or to lie with you in yours. To wake with you each morning and spend each night at your side. Though right now there is nothing I want more than your cock in me. Is that certain enough for you?”
Aegon chuckles into her mouth, “that’ll do it.” He pushes open the door, leading her deep into her rooms, until they reach her bed chamber. He unlaces her gown with practiced hands. “Gevie.”Beautiful.
She works him out of his robes, kissing the underside of his jaw. “Gevie.”
He smirks, moving her to the bed. Positioning her sweet head against the pillows, stroking wayward hair from her face. Taking a long moment to look upon her, their gazes locked. Aegon kisses the tip of her nose. “Let us see if you remember this, shall we?”
His lips trail down her neck, across her collarbones to her breasts. Licking and suckling at the entirety of them before bringing a sensitive peak into his mouth.
“Fuck,” Y/N holds him to her.
“Mmm,” he hums, in approval as her hips buck up against his. “Anything coming to mind?”
“I’m afraid not, husband.” Y/N whines as he pulls away, “you’ll need to keep going.”
“Of course,” Aegon latches happily to the opposite nipple, flicking the first between his fingers. Lower and lower his mouth goes, swirling her navel, skating over the skin of her sex.
Y/N nearly faints as he parts her with his thumbs, exposing her pearl to his starved tongue. “Oh!” Her memory of this particular act, does it no justice.
He sighs against her, as though he’s waited the whole of his life to be in this moment with her.
She does not know how to be loved that way, or to give such love in return. But she wants to learn.
Aegon coaxes her through one peak to the next, relishing her breathless giggles as she shoves at his head.
“Enough,” she covers her face with both hands, “enough.”
Aegon chuckles, pressing a feather light kiss to her cunt before retreating, back up to her face. Caging her head between his elbows, hovering over her. “Still nothing?”
“Not a thing, perhaps if you continue.” Y/N reaches between them, taking his cock in hand and stroking, lightly.
Aegon shakes his head, “of course.”
She positions him at her entrance, feeling him slide into her with ease. As though he belongs there. Her hands find his face, stroking his cheeks, reeling him in for sweet kisses or to pant against his mouth. Committing him to memory.
“I love you,” he says, pressing kisses to her fingers, “we’re going to make new memories together, you and I.”
“I love you.” The words fall from her lips, without hesitation. “I love you.”
“I have gone too long without your touch, I will not last.” He warns.
“That’s alright.” Y/N assures him, “I’m nearly there.” Still sensitive from his tongue.
It’s all he can do to hold off until he feels her walls pulse around him, “good girl.” He groans, emptying his spend.
Y/N nuzzles her nose against his. “Aegon?”
“Hmm?”
“Happy anniversary, my love.”
His eyes open wide, meeting her gaze. “You remember?
Y/N nods, feeling tears prickle at the back of her eyes. “I am so sorry, I’ve no idea how I could forget you…us, our daughters, this life together is the world to me.”
“It was not by choice.” He rests his forehead against hers. “If I ever sustain a head injury, I’ll expect you to court me in return.”
“Mayhaps I will court you now, just because.” Y/N wants nothing more than to shower him with affection. “That story you read to me was ours, how did you get it?”
“I wrote it.” Aegon tells her, “to share one day with our children and their children’s children, their children’s children after that.”
Taglist: @21-princess @ladyriverasafepace @oh-you-mean-me @niyahnotnia @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @donalesaa @cookiesnfeesh @barnes70stark
#house of the dragon#aegon targaryen x you#hotd smut#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon targaryen#hotd aegon#aegon targaryen smut#aegon smut#aegon ii#aegon imagine
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11 tips from a master manifestor.
y’all have been loving my first post and it’s really encouraged me to come back. this time i have 11 tips for you! i would’ve really appreciated a post like this when i was a beginner so i’ve decided to make it for those who may also be starting with their journey. actually it doesn’t matter where you are on this road, this is supposed to help everybody, including master manifestors (yes, sometimes doubts cross our minds, we just know how to deal with them)!
there is a lot of repetition as there are some concepts i want to emphasize on. excuse any grammar errors. let’s get straight to it!
stop giving a fuck about the 3D. that is absolute (as in, don’t check it, don’t wait for anything from it, don’t let it get to you). just stop. i have a post over here that will really help you in doing so (and no, it isn’t me cursing at you while ordering you to stop. it’s me having a discussion with you and listening to your doubts while refuting them and i also back it up with scientific sources).
acknowledge that you already are a master manifestor. you’re already where you need to be. don’t let the illusion that is the 3D tell you otherwise!
if you see a piece of manifestation advice that rubs you the wrong way then simply act as if it’s false and doesn’t apply to your reality. you make the rules.
speaking of rules, make yourself some manifesting rules that dictate that manifesting is effortless and instant for you. don’t settle for less.
keep a success story list (and yes, you can put stuff that you’ve assumed that hasn’t appeared in the 3D since the 4D is the only reality) so that you can use it to reaffirm your belief in the law if you ever doubt it.
never seek approval from the 3D for ANYTHING. it is an ILLUSION. your 4D/mind/assumptions are the OBJECTIVE reality. this also applies to the state of waiting and wanting. why do you want to wait for the approval of an illusion? and what are you wanting when it’s already here?
the 3D is not your enemy and it is impossible for the 3D to reject your manifestation. the bitch is inanimate lmao. have you ever walked in front of a mirror and had it tell you “i’m not gonna reflect right now”? i’m sure the answer is no. the 3D works the same way. it EXISTS to reflect our assumptions. that’s its entire purpose. it is nothing but an illusory perception of our 4D. it actually obeys you down to a T. i was gonna say it’s your pet but pets are actually alive and autonomous, the 3D isn’t. the 3D just an inanimate illusion. your business is in the 4D. that’s where you live.
you don’t need a technique. to manifest, all you have to do is assume you have it or enter the state of having it. techniques simply exist to help you do so (that’s why we affirm/visualize/etc. that we have it) but you can do it directly. that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use them. do what feels most natural to you. do what is the most efficient when it comes to making you fulfilled (not what gives it to you fastest in the 3D. remember, it’s an illusion).
you shouldn’t care if the 3D will give it to you or not. the 3D is an illusion, remember? a simple way to get yourself to put your eyes on the 4D is saying something to the effect of “this 3D/physical world isn’t real/is an illusion, the 4D/mind is the only true reality, i live in the 4D and thus all my affairs are there and not in the 3D and this is what the 4D is saying: (insert manifestation)”. seriously, all your affairs are in the 4D. you’re 4 dimensional.
when doubts persist, reading rants and banging pots and pans might help sometimes but sometimes you just have to sit down with yourself and have an internal dialogue. you’re human (probably 🤔 just in case you’re manifesting otherwise as you read this, and yes it IS possible). hear what your doubts have to say in full (don’t buy it though) and debunk them calmly and civilly.
limits don’t exist. imagination is the only reality. if you can imagine it then it can happen unless you say it can’t.
if you liked this post, make sure to check out my post here!!! in it i elaborate on how to deal with doubts. have an amazing day 🫶
#law of assumption#loa blog#loassumption#master manifestor#neville goddard#manifestation#loa tumblr#loa success
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the father who stepped up | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem gasly!reader
mr leclerc has been spotted with an all too familiar dog recently.
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | BROTHER'S BFF MASTERLIST
- part of the brother's best friend series -
yourusername
liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 1,094,523 others
yourusername: ceo of milf industries
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user1: i am NO better than a man
user2: i think enough time has passed... when do we get enzo's paddock debut
user3: i'm hearing monaco at least
pierregasly: this is false advertising
yourusername: enzo is my child, i am his mother
pierregasly: you're not cute enough to be a milf, sorry!
yourusername: just cause you've got the hairline of a grandpa is not mine or enzo's fault
pierregasly: MY HAIRLINE IS FINE
yourusername: PUSH BACK THE FRINGE
pierregasly: how dare you! this is a big insecurity of mine - you are NOT a girl's girl
yourusername: pierre why is mum calling me? PIERRE WHY IS MUM CALLING ME?
user4: i bet they have a get along shirt
yourusername: all i can say is that someone rocks it, and someone doesn't
pierregasly: are you still being mean while on the phone to mum????
yourusername: the hater grind never stops
estebanocon: enzo is getting so big 😭😭😭
yourusername: time flies, oh gosh i'm crying
estebanocon: motherhood does that to you
user5: i love how pierre and este are mortal enemies but y/n is besties with him regardless
yourusername: an opp of pierre is a friend of mine
charles_leclerc: cutest boy in the world
yourusername: i didn't know you had given up that title?
charles_leclerc: oh i-
pierregasly: STOP FLIRTING WITH HIM AND STOP BLUSHING IT'S JUST Y/N
user6: say it's just y/n as if it's NOT Y/N??
liked by charles_leclerc
pierregasly: I SAW THAT
pierregasly
liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 897,556 others
tagged: yourusername
pierregasly: what's the point of having a sister if you can't steal her dog
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user7: this pooch has to be one of the most spoilt and pampered dogs in the world
user8: i wish i died and was reincarnated as enzo
yourusername: oh sure, i'm sure i'm great for plucking your eyebrows and helping you text back girls (@francisca.cgomes you're welcome)
pierregasly: do you mind?
yourusername: did you really ever think you'd pull kika with your charm alone?
pierregasly: yes?
yourusername: the delusion of men should be studied
pierregasly: do i have to call mum again?
yourusername: you call yourself tripod, if anything i should be calling the POLICE
user9: i know kika must have the patience of a saint to deal with their bickering
user10: i fear for any man who wants to get with y/n cause lord knows at his big age pierre will be wheeling out the overprotective brother act
pierregasly: that's my god given right
yukitsunoda0511: not in the photo dump... i see how it is
yourusername: every girl for themselves sorry yuki san
yukitsunoda0511: i think pierre is just jealous of our looks
yourusername: i think that is exactly it yuki
charles_leclerc: yuki not in the post but i wasn't even invited 🤨
pierregasly: you're literally in italy?
charles_leclerc: and?
pierregasly: god forbid a man doesn't want to be bullied by you and y/n
yourusername: (pussy)
user11: not to be a freak but charles and y/n would be so cute together
pierregasly: say anything like that again and you're getting blocked
yourusername: they hate to see a girlboss winning
pierregasly: excuse me?
charles_leclerc
liked by danielricciardo, joris_trouche and 2.784,566 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: no paternity test needed
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user15: okay.... like... they're slay
user16: i'm personally going to celebrate now before the pierre tantrum
yourusername: oh i've already blocked his number lol
pierregasly: knock knock
yourusername: HELP HE DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM PARIS
user17: is charles dead? can we have a sign of life?
charles_leclerc: they can't get rid of me bitch
pierregasly: you're hiding in the bathroom I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS GIGGLING
yourusername: you're BREAKING AND ENTERING
pierregasly: i have a key?
charles_leclerc: for emergencies?
pierregasly: THIS IS AN EMERGENCY I NEED TO BEAT YOUR ASS
yourusername: not his ass!!!! it's so cute :(
pierregasly: not the time
user18: i can't - why are they having a conversation in the comment section when they're separated by a single door
pierregasly: WHY IS ESTEBAN HERE????????????
estebanocon: 1. i love drama and i love annoying you 2. y/n called me as back up
yourusername: you're being insane and i needed the lanky man to escort you out!
pierregasly: i just want to talk
yourusername: I CAN HEAR THE SOCK
charles_leclerc: THE SOCK?
estebanocon: i can confirm he has the sock
yukitsunoda0511: why don't i know what the sock is :(
yourusername: it's a sock full of loose change that you swing as a weapon @ MEN OF ITALY PLEASE MOBILISE YOUR GOD IS IN DANGER
charles_leclerc: tell enzo i love him :((((((
pierregasly: WHY IS MAX HERE AS WELL?
maxverstappen1: i am nosey
maxverstappen1: and esteban left the door open
danielricciardo: i am also here
alexalbon: me too, @yourusername can i have some of the dessert in the fridge?
yourusername: is the entire population of monaco in our house?
charles_leclerc: with that many witnesses he can't do anything
pierregasly: WHY DID YOU GUYS GIVE THEM ENOUGH TIME TO GET OUT AND LET Y/N GET HER SOCK
pierregasly: HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
user19: what the fuck have i just read?
user20: are alpine down a driver?
yourusername
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tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: did you guys know i recently became an only child?
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user23: now this could either mean that she has disowned pierre or that we did actually witness murder by sock
user24: enzo down an uncle
maxverstappen1: i am more than ready to take his spot
danielricciardo: me too
alexalbon: me three
pierregasly: i'm still alive?
yourusername: GHOST 🫵🏻
charles_leclerc: someone get the sage STAT
pierregasly; do not try and cleanse me away
yourusername: then stop STINKING UP THE GAFF WITH YOUR ATTITUDE
pierregasly: THEN STOP FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND
charles_leclerc: 🤓👆 she's actually in love with me
yourusername: that's true i am actually in love with him
pierregasly: there's a difference?
yourusername: your fuckboy is showing... kika i'm so sorry
user25: we got a 'LOVE' guys it's real
yourusername: we have a child, this is so real
charles_leclerc: locked in for life 🫰🏻
estebanocon: he just passed out in the sim
yourusername: good 👍🏻
charles_leclerc: he'll come around at some point, but for right now i love you too much to care
yourusername: i love you too charlie x
charles_leclerc: i love you more
yourusername: NOT POSSIBLE
charles_leclerc
liked by danielricciardo, arthurleclerc and 2,309,877 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: two years strong, no pierre tantrum can stop that :P
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user26: this is my official countdown to another pierre meltdown.
pierregasly: TWO YEARS? TWO YEARS? 730 DAYS? I CAN'T BE BOTHERED/CAN'T DO ANY MORE MATHS THAN THAT?
charles_leclerc: bro is proving why we didn't tell him in real time
pierregasly: i will choke you
charles_leclerc: you can't kill enzo's dad and be an absent uncle?
pierregasly: I AM NOT AN ABSENT UNCLE WHERE ARE YOU?
yourusername: newsflash bozo we thought ahead and are at a super secret second location
pierregasly: are you at max's?
yourusername: yes.
pierregasly: i knew you were too lazy to leave the building
yourusername: but you don't have a key to his place 😤
user27: y/n is real for that
maxverstappen1: EVERYONE BEHOLD I AM ABOUT TO COMPLIMENT CHARLES: enzo is very well trained and good with the cats
charles_leclerc: why thank you max
maxverstappen1: he must get it from his mother
charles_leclerc: rude! i thought this was a compliment to me?
yourusername: if it is my trait, it's singularly mine god lord it hasn't been passed down to all the gasly kids
pierregasly: i can read that you know
yourusername: you can read? next you're going to tell me you're potty trained as well
pierregasly: that's it i'm calling mum again
charles_leclerc: btw she already knows about us - i got permission from your parents
pierregasly: SO EVERYONE KNEW
yukitsunoda0511: i didn't :(
pierregasly: you're not in the family yuki that's not a big surprise
yukitsunoda0511: that's not what you said the other day... :((((((
pierregasly: i can't win these days
user28: first the alpine tractor and now this, pierre can't catch a break
pierregasly
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,784,560 others
tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc
pierregasly: i guess we're bffs for life now
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user32: balance has been restored to the force
user33: the way it only took some puppy dog eyes from both charles and enzo and the past three week civil war was forgiven
yourusername: thank god, you really aren't made to be a drama queen, keep it for the radio
pierregasly: you're just lucky you chose a guy i like
yourusername: you forced me to hang out with him my whole life, so really this is all your fault.
pierregasly: ????
yourusername: it's always a man's fault
pierregasly: i give up. you win. sure it was my fault
user34: y/n ain't never losing an argument i feel sorry for pierre and charles
charles_leclerc: she's never wrong 🫡
yourusername: this is how it should be ladies
charles_leclerc: how does it feel to be the third favourite to your parents now?
pierregasly: really? i can get the sock back out?
charles_leclerc: i'm sorry!!!
pierregasly: but you are right, y/n is the favourite
yourusername: baby is always the favourite
arthurleclerc: true
charles_leclerc: 🙄
pierregasly: 🙄
yourusername: are we done being dramatic now? can i come to races and can we go to dinner?
pierregasly: don't you dare wear red
yourusername: too late :P
pierregasly: excuse me
yourusername: i've always been wearing red in some way every race
charles_leclerc: i can confirm
pierregasly: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
fin.
note: finally back with my fave ever trope and the pics of little leo just gave me that burst of inspiration. leo is so cute and so is the ice cream, charles really coming for babygirl of the year
#f1 imagine#f1 social media au#f1#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc social media au
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THE 3D IS FORCED TO OBEY *it cant pick and choose* 🍓
i feel like we always forget that the 3D literally HAS to obey 🌚 like the 3D isnt our enemy at all, though we should ignore it (often times).WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT NOGGIN, WILL MANIFEST IN THIS REALITY
when your affirming and you feel magnetic, your on a roll and your in the state of the wish fulfilled, and then after your done you go back to “omg why is it still not manifested in the 3D?” well because thats the state your in all the time (desperation/desire)🌚. “well when im manifesting i do all the ‘right’ things, i feel magnetic, and i feel as if i have my desire” babes did you forget that your ALWAYS manifesting??? if you go around the world believing that that man is yours ALL THE THE FLIPPING TIME, the 3D has ZERO choice BUT to obey 🤷🏿♀️.
so when you affirm for 3 hours a day but for the next 21 hours you dont believe that its yours, babes thats probably why 😬. Im not saying that you shouldnt affirm and shit, yall just forget that when you AFFIRM, your AFFIRMING that its yours. Your REMINDING yourself that its yours, not ‘making’ it yours.
EVERYTHING YOU ARE SEEING, ALREADY HAPPENED IN THE SPIRITUAL!! (learned that at church)
When you decide that your sp is yours or that you’re rich, IT HAPPENS AUTOMATICALLY IN THE SPIRITUAL. You are exactly where you are at in life RIGHT NOW because of what ALREADY happened in the spiritual. Everything is a MANIFESTATION OF THE SPIRITUAL. (think about that.)
guys im back on my late night rambles again but this one is actually important (i hope) 😛😛
#manifesting sp#neville goddard#edward art#manifesation#manifestation#master manifestor#manifesting#manifesting community#shifting antis dni#shifting community#tarotblr#tarot#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#vaunts & affirmations#affirming#affirm and persist#affirmations#shiftblr#shifting blog#reality shifting#sp subliminal#tarot cards#affirmdaily#robotic affirming#affirm and manifest 🫧 🎀✨ ִִֶָ ٠˟#affirmyourreality#void vaunt#void state#state akin to sleep
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LET ME // t. nott
RATING: R / 4.8K WORDS
Theodore Nott x Fem Reader
+ SUMMARY - *Requested, based on this* Theodore Nott has been harassing you ever since he found out you had a crush on him. Now, you’ve been paired together for a project for McGonagall’s class and he has nothing good in mind.
+ WARNINGS - SMUT! (P in V), unprotected, sub!reader, Dom!Theo, slightly rough!dom!Theo, marking kink, slight size kink, bulge kink, brief dumbification, brief spit kink, reader wearing a skirt, light enemies to lovers, language, one (1) slap, name-calling, praise kink, slight degradation, public sex, fem!reader, oral (fem!receiving), Theo is persistent, not proof read (lmk if I missed any)
+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -
Echo - XANU
- - -
Merlin, forgive whatever you had done to deserve the treatment you were currently receiving.
You thought back on every negative deed you’d done in the last year and still hadn’t found anything worthy of your horrendous luck.
The arrogant boy turned to stare you down, malicious intent etched into the unfortunately gorgeous features of his face.
You could feel your face contort into an expression of horror as you tore your eyes away from him and turned to Professor McGonagall.
“Professor, I— you started.”
“All partner decisions are final—no exceptions!” McGonagall finished, as if trying to answer the question you had before you could even voice.
You deflated into your seat, your mood dropping like a brick. If you didn’t know any better, you’d have guessed the entire class was staring at you. The entire student body of Hogwarts knew how you felt about your new Transfiguration project partner, Theodore Nott. The bastard…
You glanced back at up—arms crossed and lips poured—just to find the boy still staring you down, evil smirk painted on his lips. He gave you a sardonic wave, wiggling his fingers tauntingly.
“Fuck,” you sighed, pressed an exasperated fist to your forehead.
Your knee anxiously bobbed beneath the desk, the heel of your uniform shoe beating against the floor in a flurried rhythm.
Luna Lovegood, your best friend, was sitting directly next to you. Intuitive as she always was, you knew she could feel the pure panic radiating off of you. Her hand rested on your shoulder in a small motion of comfort, but nothing could calm you now. You were utterly screwed.
McGonagall finished off the rest of her speech on the instructions for her project, then dismissed the whole class. Luna helped you to gather your things together as you struggled to force yourself to move.
Maybe you’d pissed McGonagall off? Merlin, what had you done to deserve this? You asked yourself the same question over and over again.
Out of the corner of your eye, you glimpsed Theodore flouncing over to you with an unnerving glint in your eyes.
“Well, aren’t I just the luckiest man on earth?” he said snidely.
“Fuck off, Theo,” you growled, intentionally not making eye contact with him.
You made to pick up your books and slide them into your bag, when he slammed his hand down on the cover of one of them, pressing them down against the desk. He pinned your fingers beneath them against the wood—just enough to keep them sturdy, but light enough so that it didn’t hurt you.
“Stop!” You yanked your fingers out from beneath the books, the heavy leather smacking against the table with a thud. Now, you made eye contact with him.
“What are we going to do our project on, baby?” he asked.
“Don’t call me that!” You yanked your books out from underneath his strong hold and shoved them quickly into your bag. “We can discuss it in the library after class.”
“I’m looking forward to it—I’ll be sure we get a quiet corner, you know…,” he stepped closer to you, “…so I can explore every inch of…the subject.”
You sneered in disgust and pulled away from him, his voice still rattling in your ears.
“You’re disgusting,” you scoffed. “I’ll see you later for nothing more than our assignment.”
“Looking forward to it…can’t wait to put those big brains to use. Lovegood.” He nodded politely to Luna before heading off.
You glanced at Luna and acknowledged her slight smile. Everything in you was telling you to snap at her and tell her not to encourage any of the delinquent boy’s behavior, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to ever be very mad at Luna Lovegood. At least, not for long.
Instead, you rolled your eyes and took off toward the door, bag swinging between your shoulder blades.
“Wait up, friend!” Luna shouted lightly, running to catch up with you. You snorted and laughed at her, letting her sunlight hair fall into step beside you.
- - -
By the time your class of the day dismissed and the sun had begun to sink beneath the Hogwarts skyline, you were soaked through with nerves. The saturation of your anxiety had managed to breach every protective barrier you held up, and fill your hands with shudders and your stomach with nausea.
The root of your nerves when it came to Theo came from the consistent comments he insisted on making toward you. It seemed that he loved nothing more than dropping sexual hints into your ear every few days just to watch you squirm. He’d only started this after he’d heard through the grapevine you had a bit of a thing for him.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find him attractive, and that his words had absolutely no effect on you, but you couldn’t deny that he was just as annoying as he was charming.
It had gotten to a point when he made these comments, that he loved to joke aloud about your reactions to him, effectively embarrassing you in front of all of your peers. That was your final straw. All resemblance of an attraction toward Theo had melted away and been replaced by hatred.
And yet, as your feet led you to the grand library, you couldn’t stop the rapid pattering of your heart beat. Something about the boy had always been so…irresistible to you. Whether it was the way he always knew where to place his hands when he “accidentally” brushed you, or how he knew exactly what to say when he pressed his lips against the shell of your ear. You figured you should be grossed out and tell him to get away from you, but, unfortunately, you kind of liked it when he did those things.
As you came up to one of the several library doors lining the wall before you, you decided to try and swallow your nerves and focus only on the project. That was what you were supposed to do anyway—this wasn’t a date.
You pulled one of the doors open and slipped into the warmly-lit room. It always seemed to be just a tad bit cozier here than anywhere else in the castle—whether that was from the multiple fireplaces or the sweet aroma that floated through the air. Either way, you loved it.
Your neck craned as you glanced about, trying to glimpse the cocky boy, but to no avail. Wherever he was, he surely wasn’t interested in making it easy on you to find him.
A sigh left you as you started toward the back of the library where a couple tables rested behind a few conveniently placed bookcases. Unfortunately, the feeling in your stomach told you that he surely would be sitting at one of those tables, simply because you knew how his dirty, little mind worked.
That corner of the library was…infamous for its concealed nature. Everyone in Hogwarts had heard the little rumors that fluttered about, of couples getting a bit too friendly with each other while the librarian was downstairs.
Because of those rumors, it had garnered a reputation. And if someone who had a penchant for gossip slipped past you and Theodore Nott studying back there, you’d be screwed.
Once you passed the last book case, zigzagging between the three that formed the perfect labyrinth, you came upon Theo comfortably waiting at the table in the middle. A groan of defeat left you and your head dipped back. You stared at the ceiling for a few moments while contemplating your options—you could still run away.
“Hello, beautiful,” Theo said, leaning his chin down on his propped up fists. “I’ve been waiting so impatiently for you.”
“Whatever,” you sighed. You crossed over to the table and sat across from him—the farthest away you could get. Your bag collapsed to the ground and unzipped itself on the way down. The things you needed for this assignment floated out and landed neatly on the table before you, including a few rolls of parchment, a quill and ink, and your books.
He marveled silently, seemingly trying to hide his fascination at your wandless magic. Perhaps if he studied as hard as you did, he would also be able to achieve it.
“Alright, shall we do this?” you asked, maintaining a bored expression.
“I’d love to,” he smirked. “But I’d love to showcase a bit of my magic as well, if that’s alright with you?”
“What—?” Your voice was cut off with a slight gasp as all four legs of your chair lifted off of the ground. Your fingers wrapped around the sides of your seat to keep you from slipping off.
Theo’s eyes followed your chair as it floated over the table and all the way beside him. Once your shoulders were inches from his, your chair dropped a few centimeters to the ground. A small yelp came from you as you regained your balance and glared at him. Perhaps he was a better wizard than you thought.
“What the hell, Theo?” you demanded, immediately scooting your chair away from him, putting a good few inches between you.
“I just thought we’d be able to work better closer together,” he purred, his arm dropping against the table to cage you against him and the bookshelf a bit to your left. You eased away from him so you were closer to the shelves than you were to him. His eyes never dropped from yours. “Merlin, what is that smell? You smell absolutely divine—”
“Okay, let’s just get this done,” you interrupted him, pushing his approaching body back away from you.
“Mm, alright,” he smiled. “Have you decided on a topic you’re interested in presenting on?”
“Actually, I have.” You pulled your books across the table over to where the two of you were sitting, flipping everything to the appropriate page. There were a couple pages in your notebook where you’d jotted some ideas down earlier today, and you’d figured he’d want to see the different ideas, as it was his grade, as well. “So, I threw a couple of ideas together in my fourth period. We can see what you think of them…”
As you explained the details of all of your ideas, it became increasingly obvious that Theo was not at all interested in what you had to say about the project. Though you refused to look directly at him, the corner of your eyes granted more than enough knowledge.
Theo’s eyes were ravenous as they drew down your body, curving across the most private areas of your body with no shame. You could feel your cheeks burning, but hoped the warm tones from the candles around you would conceal that.
When he scooted a bit closer to you, you kept talking. And when he laid his arm across the back of your chair, you kept talking. And when his fingers began to toy with the ends of your hair, you kept talking. But when he took your quill gently from your fingers and set it down on the table, you finally stopped. You barely made eye contact with him, constantly glancing away and down to the table. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears.
His fingers pulled away from your hair and dropped to your shoulder. They squeezed the hard muscles a few times.
“God, you seem tense,” he spoke lowly, his voice barely above a whisper. His other hand reached up and matched the opposite’s position on your other shoulder.
When he placed a gentle amount of pressure, it expressed a small sigh from your lips. He was right. You were very tense—in general, but especially around him.
“Here, let me…,” he stood and appeared behind you rather quickly.
“Theo, I don’t think this is appropriate. I’d really just—” Your voice cut off as soon as he began to roll your taut muscles beneath his nimble fingers. Your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, pleasurable jolts of pain shocking across your neck and down your back.
“That’s okay, baby,” he whispered, dangerously close to your ear. “Finish telling me about your idea. I’ll just loosen some things up back here. Fuck, you’re so tight.”
He pressed an especially hard drive against your skin. You bit back a moan at the sensation. You don’t think you’d ever had a better massage in your life.
You wanted to tell him to stop, but it felt so fucking good. And you really were sore around your neck and shoulders.
“Theo?” you tried again.
“Read.” His voice had a commanding tone to it. One hand released your shoulder briefly to grab your books and slide them closer to you, before returning to its position against your skin.
His hands worked their way up around your jaw, cupping it gently, so he could press his thumbs against the back of your neck. You audibly sighed this time without intending to. Embarrassed, you attempted to cover it up with a clear of your throat.
You began to explain the rest of your project plan, small shudders rippling through your voice every time he’d hit an especially sore spot.
By the time he finished and pulled his hands away from you, your body was mourning the loss of him but relishing in the relief it felt. It honestly hadn’t felt far off from a professional massage.
“How’s that?” He walked around to your side, still not sitting back down.
“Er, good,” you chuckled nervously, rubbing your hand along the back of your neck, trying to spread the relief around.
“Perfect,” he smiled, gently swiping his index finger beneath your chin. He sat back down beside you.
“So, what do you think?” you asked.
“About what?”
“The project idea…”
“Oh, yeah, I think it’s wonderful,” he said, shrugging a bit. “I think we can work with it.”
“Theo, did you even listen?” you asked, rolling your eyes.
“Of course, I did,” he chuckled. “It’s just not easy to focus when you have such a gorgeous partner.”
There went your cheeks getting insanely hot again. He thought you were gorgeous? There was no way. Someone must have put him up to this, right? Or he was fucking with you because he knew you had had a bit of a crush on him.
“I—er…” you stuttered hopelessly, pulling your eyes away from his.
He placed a hand on your knee. You could feel the warmth of his skin through your tights. The heartbeat in your ears picked up wildly.
“Don’t be nervous around me.”
“What?” you laughed suddenly. “I’m not nervous, I’m just—you’re just really…friendly? I don’t know. Why are you pretending to be so interested in me? Did someone put you up to it?”
“Why would someone have put me up to flirting with you?” he asked, genuinely confused.
“Because they know I had a thing for you,” you blurted before thinking. “I mean—”
“Nope! Can’t take it back now, my love.” Theo chuckled, an evil smirk printing across his lips. “And, for the record, no one put me up to flirting with you. I just want to.”
His hand slid up to the top of your knee as he leaned a bit forward.
“Theo!” you hissed. “We’re in the library—you can’t do that.” Though you verbally protested his actions, you couldn’t deny the heat building in your stomach at his touch.
Despite the conviction you had for needing to decline him and all of his advances, you couldn’t seem to suppress the need you felt for him right now—a different kind. His eyes remained on yours and refused to look away.
The two of you were in the library, and had seemed to despise each other’s company only minutes earlier, but for some reason, you couldn’t force yourself to stop his rising hand.
Soon, his fingers were toying with the edge of your skirt and his lips were millimeters from your own. You could feel his gentle breath against your cheeks.
“Theo…,” you shuddered at his proximity. His thumb slid slowly down the side of your thigh, the contact eliciting chills along your legs.
“You’ve wanted me for months,” he murmured, lips brushing against yours. “Are you finally going to let me fuck you?”
You gasped slightly as the tip of his thumb just barely brushed your core through your panties.
“Say yes, or I’m not going to touch you anymore.”
As if on cue, his hands pulled back from you and his mouth seemed to hover a few inches away. The cold air hit the spot his hand had been occupying on your thigh and sent a row of shivers up your spine.
“I don’t understand. Is this a joke?” you shuddered.
He shook his head slowly. “Not a joke, I just want you. Say yes, baby.”
“Y—” before you were even able to get the singular syllable out, his lips were pressing against yours and devouring them like a predator.
His hand found its place against your thigh again, the other hand following suit on the other thigh. He pushed them up the expanse of your skin, inching your skirts up in the process.
You moaned against his lips in embarrassment at the sudden loss of dignity.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he sighed against your mouth. “Let me taste you.” He pressed his lips roughly back to yours.
You gasped for air and pulled away, noses brushing against the other. “Say please,” you managed to choke out.”
“What?”
“Say please,” you repeated. “What, did you think I was going to come here and just give you whatever you wanted?”
“Oh, that’s how you’re going to be?” he smirked. You stared back astutely, not yielding to any teasing he tried to give.
“Alright, baby,” he conceded. He pulled himself closer to you and worked his way up your neck and to your ear, pressing chaste kisses against your flesh. “Please let me taste this sweet cunt. ‘ve been dreaming about it for months.”
You shivered at his words before nodding. You weren’t in your right mind—you couldn’t be.
He slid out of his chair and dropped to his knees. His hands wrapped around your hips and yanked you to the edge of the seat. His fingers pushed your skirt up around your hips and angled you up toward his face, pulling your legs over each of his shoulders.
The cool air flushed against the hot wetness slathered across your thighs. But the shock of wintry air was canceled out quickly by Theo’s hot mouth placing against your clothed core.
Your head fell back against the chair as your hands flew to his honeyed curls.
He swirled his lips across you, gathering your lust on his tongue. Each time you let a little moan slip, he’d echo you with his own louder one. It wasn’t loud enough to be heard anywhere else in the library, but it was enough to vibrate against you and send your head spinning.
The second your thighs began to shake on either side of his sharp jaw, he pulled away from you, leaving you bare and wanting.
“Turn around,” he panted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Obstinately, you held your chin up and refused to obey him. You wanted to appear strong and resistant as payment for how much of a dick he’d been to you, but with your quivering lips and legs still spread wide for him, you figured you didn’t quite get the point across.
He suddenly grabbed your jaw in one hand, while undoing his belt buckle with the other. Anticipation boiled in your belly.
“Turn around,” he said before suddenly and mockingly tilting his head to the side. “Or do you not understand what’s good for you?”
When you said nothing, he pulled you out of the chair and bent you over the library table. You yelped as your chest collided with the table.
Once on your stomach, he flipped your skirt over against your back and ripped your panties and stockings down your legs until the soaked things were stuck around your ankles.
Then, without another warning, he was sliding into you and stretching you wide. You gasped aloud and gripped at the smooth table, begging to find purchase on anything.
He moaned slightly at the way you clenched around him. He pushed himself into you a little more with each slow thrust, the movement splitting you down the middle. His hands held you tightly in place by your hips, pinning you down against the table.
“Shit, you feel fucking perfect,” he moaned, fingers gripping into your flesh.
Every alarm bell was ringing in your head, telling you to separate and cover yourselves, because you were in public. But, for some reason, you found yourself loving the thrill of possibly being walked in on; of possibly being found with Theodore Nott buried deep inside of you, taking his pleasure from your body.
By the time he’d finally bottomed out inside of you, he was panting and willing himself not to come prematurely.
“I’ve never felt anything this tight,” he groaned.
You hadn’t been able to see the size of him before he started pushing into you, but you had to guess he was the biggest you’d ever felt. Just having his hips pressed to your ass felt like the tip of him was brushing your cervix.
“Ah, fuck, wait,” he said, panting heavily. He rubbed your back as he slowly pulled all the way out of you and stood you up. He turned you around to face him and laid your back against the table.
He brought your legs around him and you hooked them together behind his back. You watched him with deep admiration as his fingers stroked up and down your legs, preparing to explain what he wanted.
“I want to watch me fill you up,” he whispered, leaning down to press a slow kiss to your lips. It was sweet and thick with saliva but, despite everything else he’d so far, this set off a flurry of butterflies in your stomach.
His hands came away from your legs and wrapped around your waist. He watched addictively as his fingers wrapped entirely around your body, his large hands positively dwarfing your small frame. And you could’ve sworn you saw his eyes fill with an inky, black glint as he brought his hips to the underside of your thighs.
He placed his dick on your stomach, reveling in how far up your stomach it went. He moaned at the sight and pulled your right leg up and over his shoulder. He pressed a small kiss to the side of your calf.
“Theo,” you whined, still reeling from the loss of him inside of you. “Please, no more teasing.”
“Be patient, baby,” he whispered against your leg. “I want to remember this moment.”
“Theo,” you urged once more. But his hand came down hard against the outer side of your thigh. You yelped at the pain that radiated down the side of your leg.
“I said to be patient.” He soothed the pain gently with his fingers, still looking down at how big he looked compared to you.
One of the things he’d always had on you was height. No matter if the things he said were stupid and undermining, you couldn’t deny that his size was enough to have the high ground.
“Look, we don’t have all the time in the world,” you sighed, leaning up on your elbows to speak with him. “The librarian could walk in here at any—”
He pushed back into you, choking any other words in your throat. You gasped and fell back against the wooden table, the cold lacquer biting into your flesh.
“Fuck,” Theo all but whined. He pressed his fingers against your lower abdomen where his dick had created a perfect impression. Every time he pulled out then pushed back in, his sheer size forced the body wall up and simultaneously probed a spot inside of you that had your eyes rolling backward.
Without wasting another second, he picked up his pace while dropping his hands down to your still-tucked in uniform shirt. He ripped the material out from beneath the waistband of your skirt, and ripped the buttons apart.
The candles floating overhead illuminated the curves and dips of your stomach, highlighting The valley of your breasts.
Hips still pistoning into you, and left hand holding your waist still, his right hand reached forward again and ripped the clip of your bra apart. Luckily, you’d worn the front access one today.
At the force of the destruction, your breasts fell apart from one another, bouncing against your dampened chest.
“Fuck,” he growled. “Gonna mark this beautiful body. Gonna let everyone know you’re mine. My girl.”
His words sent shockwaves through your system. You tried to reach for him but you couldn’t reach. Your arms fell back down against the table, your lack of anything to hold on to leaving you completely at the mercy of the pace he decided to set.
“T-Theo,” you stuttered, your voice breaking beneath the weight of his abuse.
He leaned down, pushing himself all the way into you for a moment, and latched his lips around a mouthful of your left breast. He sucked roughly on the flesh, pulling the blood to the surface. You whined through the pain that mingled with the pleasure from him below.
Once he was satisfied with the bruise painted on you, he moved toward your neck, sucking and biting just as rough, hips never halting.
“That’s it, baby,” he whispered. “Tell me how it feels.” He nibbled on your earlobe.
You said nothing, your lips unable to form enough to make any words come out. Your fingers still gripped uselessly at the sides of the table. One leg was held uselessly over Theo’s shoulder while the other dangled limply over the edge of the table.
He leaned up. “Tell me how it feels, baby.”
Still, you made no sound.
“Oh, you pathetic thing,” he whispered, lips pressing to your elevated leg once again. “Am I fucking you stupid? Is that what it is? Yeah, baby? Next time, I’ll shove this dick down your throat and see how quiet you are then, you dumb slut.”
Now, within the final moments before your finish, his thumb dropped to your clit and began to rub small circles into the nerves. Your mouth fell open and your back arched to the ceiling as his hips intensified. They forced your finish closer and closer until you were spilling all over him, coating your legs and his stomach.
At the clenching of your core, his release was barreling forward, as well. He came with a long groan and a slow walk down of the brutal pace he’d set with his hips. His spend mixed with yours dripped down your legs.
Finally, with him still inside of you, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours. He eyed you sweetly, caressing soothing lines across your temple with his thumb.
“My sweet girl, you did so well,” he whispered against your lips. “Has anyone else ever fucked you so well?” There was that cocky Theo again.
“Maybe like one other person,” you gasped, trying to catch your breath.
“Oh, yeah? Who?” he asked, suddenly grabbing your jaw again and forcing you to look directly at him.
“Hmm, I’m not sure,” you said. “I think I forgot his name. I’ll probably just forget yours tomorrow, too.” You teased him meanly, smirk building on your lips. This was further payback for all the months of harassment you’d dealt with from him.
He pinched your cheeks together until your lips were pushed open.
“You can forget my name, sweetheart,” he whispered roughly, “but you’ll never forget what I just did to this body.”
His eyes watched yours with an intensity like no other. Then his lips pursed, and you watched as a line of spit dropped into your waiting mouth. It was the ultimate display of humiliation, but also ownership. You belonged to Theo, now.
And even if you forced yourself to forget his name or this day in the library, you’d never wipe the taste of his claim out of your mouth.
“Now, let’s get to work on that attitude, shall we?” Theo asked, voice suddenly chipper again.
He pulled out of you and zipped his pants back up, before selecting his bag off of the chair—which you’d now noticed he hadn’t even unpacked.
“Tomorrow at 6?” he asked.
Then he Disapparated, leaving you entirely exposed and alone.
That son of a bitch.
- - -
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everyone in halo reactions when i come out to them
master chief: hm. glad you told me, soldier. knowing yourself is important when you’re fighting a complex enemy like the covenant.
cortana: interesting… yes, i see your brain chemistry is a bit… different. i’ll keep this in mind for the future. i can’t wait to explore this further with you!
sergeant johnson: heh, so you’re a girl? well, you won’t get any argument from me. long as you keep watching my back, i’ll watch yours.
dr halsey: you’re transsexual? how could you think of yourself at a time like this? we need to keep our attention on the only thing that matters: saving the human race. additionally, you should be aware that J.K. Rowling is a close personal friend of mine
grunt: huohahaha! send pictures of your gock and gballs to my grunt phone
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US Presidents as Dril Tweets
George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.
Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts
James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby
James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"
John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!
Martin Van Buren: Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Candles $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good
John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom
Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying
Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...
Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...
Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"
Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off
Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,
James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now
Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark
Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site
Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!
Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*
Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer
Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me
Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals
Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud
Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me
Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume
Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed
John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self
Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"
Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups
Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right
Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again
Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn
George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT
Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,
George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,
Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line
Donald Trump: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
ME: I agree
Joe Biden: I will shut the fuck up , IF , it will restore the Harmony. I will get on my knees like a dog and make that sacrifice, for the sake of Calm
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