#you see moments of how much brian just wanted to be accepted and loved by his parents and it never goes away no matter how old you get

[sophsun1]

Queer As Folk – 2.02: All Better Now

[punkbarbarian]

for folks who don’t follow them on instagram— ally beardsley wrote part of an op-ed in the washington post for the 50th dnd anniversary about a moment playing dnd that really stuck with them and i wanted to share it here!

“a character’s journey — and my own”

I was an aspiring comedian in Los Angeles and had just landed a salaried job at the comedy website CollegeHumor. My co-worker and friend Brennan Lee Mulligan was looking for six comedians to create a show that would be like an at-home game of D&D. Why not? “Dimension 20” became a weird punctuation to my day.

I remember there being too many rules to remember. I kept turning to my friend, Brian Murphy, to ask which dice I should be rolling. I wasn’t paid overtime, but I loved the group and was having a lot of fun.

For the second season, I had my sea legs. I created a character for the campaign who was transgender. I had started going by the gender neutral they/them pronouns at work and among friends, but sourcing hormones or getting surgery seemed equal parts expensive and invasive. A fun thing about fantasy is stripping away the crunchy, real-world limitations and asking yourself: “What would I do if I could do anything?”

That season’s arc for my character, Pete, was extremely euphoric for me. I had described him as a trans cowboy you might see at Burning Man, and the artist drew him dressed as a freaky Hunter S. Thompson in an open shirt to show his top surgery scars. He has wild magic — uncontrollable and dangerous in the game mechanics — which we used to explore the painful chaos of leaving a family that doesn’t accept you.

Since then, I’ve started testosterone HRT and had top surgery. It’s funny to listen back to myself playing a character who had transitioned in ways I hadn’t. It’s full of inaccuracies that make me smile. Pete takes a testosterone pill every day; I now know it’s a weekly injection or a topical gel. I see my face, one wrapped up in playing something so new but instantly right. It was like an oracle. A near-future me who has health insurance! Who’s talked to their mom about being trans and even spent a week post-top surgery on that mom’s couch in Temecula, Calif!

As I started transitioning my appearance, seeing that in front of the camera felt raw. I was starting hormones, and my voice was cracking. Realizing it was all being recorded felt naked at times, but it has been really nice to talk to fans and friends about how important it is to see someone that looks like you taking a big risk on themself.

With Pete, it was really important to me to tell a story other than the dramatic lead-up to a medical transition. So we started with him having just gotten out of surgery, but that’s all you see of that process. Part of his backstory is that he doesn’t have a relationship with his transphobic parents, and before shooting the first episode, I felt sick to my stomach. I’ve been on a journey with my parents, and our starting place didn’t have much common ground. When my character meets with his father, it felt as though I was actually running into my own on the street.

Brennan could sense that discomfort, and as my character’s dad was about to call Pete by his deadname, Brennan shut the interaction down, surrounding his dad with bubbles that carried him into the sky. Magic is the power and freedom to manipulate your reality, and you can banish the awful voices in your life — let them swirl away into the air.

[waughymommy]

MOMMY KNOWS BEST ❣️

Chapter 19

Rebecca poured them each a glass of wine. “You are really a pro at this Samantha,” Rebecca said.

“Well I did a lot of babysitting in high school and college. I almost pursued early education as a career, but clearly didn’t work out that way,” Samantha responded. There was something about Samantha that put Rebecca at ease. Although they had never spent much time together and never just the two of them, she felt as if she had known her for years.

“Can I be candid with you Samantha?” Rebecca asked.

“Of course,” she replied.

“I love Brian to pieces. He is my world. I am so happy that I am able to be is mommy. But…” Rebecca froze.

“But what?” Samantha implored.

“Well this last week has been a whirlwind. A week ago, I knew my husband as a strong, confident man and now I am changing his diapers. I’m not sure I can ever see him the same again. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want things to go back to the way they were, but I’m not sure if I will ever see him as my husband anymore. Does that make any sense? Am I being selfish?” Rebecca asked looking for guidance.

“You are not being selfish at all. You have needs too. I think what you have done for Brian is amazing. I admire the sacrifice you have made to give him this, but don’t bury your own needs. Brian chose to be a baby, but he will need to realize that he is no longer your husband. You are his mommy from here on out and he will need to accept that. It may be hard on him, but I have seen how quickly he has transformed into a baby. You never know, one day you might want another partner to help look after him,” Samantha said with a smile.

“Another partner?” Rebecca asked. “I hadn’t even thought of that.

Samantha gave a devious grin and twirled her finger around a strand of hair, “I don’t know. Maybe he needs two mommies?”

Rebecca was stunned. Was Samantha suggesting what she thought she was? She had always been attracted to other women, but never given any thought to the idea of dating a woman. “I, I don’t know,” she mumbled. Samantha leaned over top of her and kissed her lips. Rebecca sat frozen for a moment, but she capitulated to Samantha’s advance and returned the kiss.

Samantha gave her a wry smile, “Well we could discuss the idea more in the bedroom if you like?’

Rebecca’s heart pounded. She had butterflies in her stomach. She didn’t know if she should be doing this. What about Brian? He might be crushed, but then again, she Samantha was right. She had needs too. Rebecca got up and ran into the bedroom. Samantha stood before her completely naked and all of her hesitation vanished. The two collapsed into the bed.

Rebecca, flushed with excitement, whispered into Samantha’s ear, “I need you at my breasts.”

“With pleasure!” Samantha replied. Samantha aggressively sucked at her breasts and started to taste something sweet. She smiled and looked up at Rebecca, “I think your milk is starting to come in.” She went back to sucking her nipples. Rebecca arched her back with pleasure. Samantha kissed Rebecca’s stomach and then down to her pelvis. She soon had Rebecca in ecstasy. “I want you to be his second mommy,” she exclaimed as she came.

“I was hoping you would say that,” Samantha said. The two kissed and held each other while Brian slept, completely unaware of what was happening in the room over.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4

It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 

My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 

John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)

How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 

I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 

But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 

I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 

I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 

Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .

I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 

“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 

Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?

But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?

It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.

“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 

What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.

I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 

Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.

I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 

But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 

All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.

Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.

[winchesterszvonecek]

you’re beautiful, you know that?

This is so Otis BYE

Beautiful - [ Brian ‘Otis’ Zvonecek ]

Prompt: “You’re beautiful, you know that?” + “Don’t act so shy now.” + “Stop, you’re making me blush in public.”

Word Count: 998 this was so close to 1000 but i could not find those two words

Warnings: female!reader, fluff

a/n: i added two other prompt requests to this as i thought they’d go together perfectly

Masterlist | Otis Masterlist

You could get used to moments like this. Moments where nothing around you seemed to matter anymore. Where the world carried on, people passed by and everything became but a blur as you did nothing but stare into the eyes of the man you were lucky enough to love.

One Brian Zvonecek to be exact, who was only the sweetest, most caring man you’d ever met in your whole entire existence.

You honestly couldn’t believe where you were. Not just right now in this moment, with his arms around your waist and his lips pressed against yours, but in general. In life. A life that couldn’t seem to get any better as not only were you lucky enough to be with Brian, but you were lucky enough to have just gotten the chance to say yes when he asked you to marry him.

You still couldn’t believe it. Seeing him getting down on one knee like that even after the three years you’d been together had been quite a shock. Not because you never expected him to propose as you had done, you think, but because he never showed any signs that he was planning it. And he wasn’t exactly the best at keeping secrets.

Yet he had. He’d kept the biggest secret possible and you couldn’t help but feel proud of him for it as you knew how badly he wanted it to be a surprise. And it was safe to say, you were well and thoroughly surprised.

“I still can’t believe this is real.” You whispered, pulling back from where he’d been kissing you like a drowning man for the past, however many minutes you’d both been standing there.

Seriously, you knew he had to have a good set of lungs on him to be a firefighter but damn could that man kiss.

“You better start.” Brian replied, gently brushing your hair behind your ear as he gazed lovingly into your eyes. “Because it’s very real. And I don’t accept takebacks.” He added humorously, making you smile sweetly in response.

“Trust me, I don’t plan on changing my answer any time soon.” You chuckled, pecking his lips softly as you roamed your hands up the length of his back, feeling the softness of his t-shirt covering the hardness of his muscles. “In fact, I don’t plan on changing it ever which means you’re stuck with me.”

“You promise?” Otis asked quietly, his eyes softening as part of him still couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have kept you this long, let alone have you this close to becoming his wife.

Which is why he often needed reassurance that you still wanted to be with him. And that you’d stay with him as he’d fallen so deeply in love with you that he couldn’t fathom life without you.

“I promise.” You nodded, feeling your heart flip beneath your chest as he was so… God, you didn’t even know the word to describe him.

Sweet? Soft? Gentle? All of the above plus more? He really was the whole entire package. Perfect in every way and you wouldn’t change it for a second.

You leaned forward, pressing your lips against his and kissing him in a way that helped clear his worries more than your words ever could. You knew he was a little insecure and part of you liked that about him as it showed just how much he loved you, but now that you were engaged? You didn’t want him feeling like that anymore as that was no way for a person to live.

For as long as you were both alive, you were his. He was yours. And that was the way it always would be. Now and forever.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Otis said softly as you parted, lightly grazing his knuckles down the side of your slowly blushing face.

You smiled, dipping your head as you didn’t want him to see how scarlet your skin had turned, the heat of your cheeks so immense already that you were sure he could feel it. He always was complimenting you, telling you how pretty you were and how much he enjoyed gazing at you all the time.

But something about him calling you beautiful just moments after asking you to marry him had your stomach feel like a butterfly enclosure and you were pretty sure it was about to fly up your chest and escape through your mouth.

“Don’t act so shy now.” Brian chuckled, hooking his finger under your chin and lifting your face back up as he always did like to see you blush. Especially when it was him that made you do it.

“I’m not acting shy.” You exhaled, trying your hardest to sound believable. But you were fairly certain you’d failed and if the cocked eyebrow paired with the slightly pursed lips Brian aimed your way hadn't told you already, the mere heat present on your cheeks would have.

“You are totally acting shy.” Brian teased, thoroughly amused with how flustered you’d suddenly gotten. He raised his hand, setting it gently aside your face, his heart warming to a degree which matched that of your face. “But lucky for you. I like it when you act shy… Which reminds me, did I tell you how utterly breathtaking you look tonight?”

“Stop.” You whispered, ducking your head again and hearing the faint chuckle pass his risen lips. “You’re making me blush in public.”

“Good.” Brian said softly, lifting your face again and when your eyes locked with his you could see every ounce of mischief having gone from within them, replaced with nothing but his undying love for you. “That way… Everyone can see that the most beautiful woman in the world is off the market.”

“That she is.” You whispered, kissing him gently and allowing yourself to simply melt into him. “And she feels very lucky that she just so happened to be scooped up by the sweetest guy ever.”

Like this? Apply to my Otis tag list here!

tagging: @sancochillo @kellykidd @violetmacher @kiddbegins @neapolitantoebeans @alexxavicry @babyyoda89 @wandamaxim0f @bloodybagels @stephydearestxo @evanbuckbuckley @annchersita @doublebassallie @orileyrandom @sjhhemmings @gretsky0321

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[scary-lasagna]

Ok so slender gets a girlfriend and keeps it a secret for a while. Then one day he comes home with his baby and asks the proxies to babysit for a day. How do they react?

tldr: slenderbabies are weird

Slender

He would never ask them to baby sit a child when they can't even look after themselves for a day.

Toby has an unbeaten record of hurting himself at least one a day for the past three years. Jack has been keeping tab.

He will, however, allow them the grace of witnessing his first born child stuck to his face.

Slenderbabies are uber strong, and there's no way to get the child off of him.

But if there will be anyone to figures it out, it'll be the proxies.

"Tickling is a no-go." Brian announces.

So there sat Slender, perched at his desk and sweating buckets while gazing at the clock. He would surely be late at this rate. And as much as he loved his little mouse, he need them o f f.

"What about the keys? Anything?" Masky questioned.

"Negative." Kate answered.

"Oh my god guys, it's a kid, just pick it up." Clock stepped forward and put her hands around the baby's little pudgy tummy and attempted to pull them off of Slender.

It didn't work. Just like the 6 other times they've all tried.

Slender sat in silence, the only thing announcing his disgruntle was a quick sigh.

"Cocomelon! Kids love Cocomelon!" Toby was already pulling out his phone.

"Do not! Cocomelon makes them violent, I don't know why do not ask me." Slender spoke up.

Toby slowly puts his phone away.

"Any chance you can just show up at the meeting like this?" Masky asks.

"I cannot see."

"But you don't have eyes anyway..." Kate whispered, thoroughly confused.

The statement was ignored, and Offender walked in with Sally, considering Splendor was gone on a business trip. "Nice glasses."

"Shut your mouth." Offender only snorted at his brothers remark before lifting Sally up on his desk.

"Beat fire with fire."

Sally only giggled at the baby, greeting with a rub on the back. "How are you?" She smiled. She was met with only babbles.

"Would you like to come play with me? I have tea sets, toys, and Mrs. Rachel, and plushies, and we can watch a movie together."

While Sally was talking, she manages to wrap her arms around the baby, tugging a little, but to no avail.

"I HAVE THE BEST IDEA!" Toby suddenly yelled, startling nearly everyone in the room. most importantly the baby.

It started wailing and Sally tried to soothe it.

Slender debated if he started to cry, if it would help the situation.

Toby returned soon enough with a small shiny ball, one of Sally's.

"You gave me an idea Sally. Maybe it doesn't want Slender, just his head."

Slender slowly looked toward Toby, hoping he could feel his seething anger.

"I'm serious!!" Toby exclaimed, and stood to the side of Slender, present the ball within the baby's sight.

The wailing turned into confused sniffles, and then unlatched one clawed hand, reaching toward the ball.

"Bro, I'm gonna be the best fuckin dad, I swear." Toby grins, before quickly slapping a hand over his mouth, realizing he cursed not only in front of one child, but two.

Sally giggled, but also helped the child, maneuver from Slender's face to the ball.

Slender took a sigh of relief. A moments peace before he realized he was desperately late, and shot out of his seat.

"I need to go. Just don't let them watch Cocomelon." He called over his shoulder, and headed toward the door.

Toby was still holding the baby latching onto the ball as Slender left the manor.

"What do we do now?"

___

Slender returned home after a soul-crushing meeting to meet almost the entire manor piled sleeping around the couch.

His baby was still clinging to a now deflated ball. Upon gazing at this sight, toys, baby food, adult food, and children's books were scattered amongst the creeps. Spaghetti somehow got on the ceiling.

Little stinker wasn't even a year old and they've already accepted them as their own, sacrificing their own sanity to calm the baby down as it wailed when the ball popped.

Who knows how long it took for everyone to fall asleep. Slender settling himself down by Masky, who was barely keeping his eyes open. His head eventually drooped onto Slender's shoulder, who was reading a picture book out of curiosity.

Maybe he will let them babysit more often.

[multiistan]

HOW WOULD AMPERS&ONE REACTION WHEN YOU ASK FOR MONEY

Note: It's been a long time since I posted anything, I was on vacation and I couldn't find inspiration either. I hope u like it, It's simple but I promise I'll try harder next time. Love ya all <33

KAMDEN:

I think at first he would joke but then he would leave you the money and give you some more of the money you ask for

"Babe, can you give me 50$?"

he started laughing "nope".

You look at him with puppy eyes "Please.." Then he will kiss your forehead and give you the money because he loves seeing you happy.

"I'm just kidding, here you go 100$, you can buy whatever u want" And then you will be happy and in return, you would buy him his fav food :)

BRIAN

At the moment when I asked him if he could give you money he didn't hesitate for a second and he ran to get his wallet. "why do u run?"

"shhh let me spoil you" he said while giving to you his credit card. "buy whatever u want" (this boy is so sweet <3)

"wha-, I just want 50$..." u said confusing but happy about the fact that he gives you his credit card.

"take it"

"okayy" then u hug him and ask if he wants to go shopping w you he accepts and he's happy bcs he can spend time with his dear and beloved girlfriend

MACKIAH

You were undecided whether to ask him or not, but then you realized that Mackiah, as a good boyfriend, would give you money

"Mackiah~" you said with a smile

"Yes babe?" he asked while checking his phone "Can you.... give me... money?"

He looked and you and smiled "sure my darling," how much money do you need?"

"50$ pleasee" So, he gave you the $50 and a kiss on the cheek

KYRELL

"Um..., Can I ask u something?" you said. He looked at you smiling "Sure princess, what is it?"

You were worried about his reaction, bc you never used to ask him for money, "Can u give me... 50$?... I promise I'll give it back to you"

He chuckled and gave to u 200$ "There u go, u don't need to give it back to me honey" he smiled. You were happy and ended buying him a cute plushie <3

°°°°° I'll do the other half later °°°°°°°

English is not my first language, sorry if there are any mistakes.

This is for entertainment only.

Request by-- @selina-74

[lily-in-thevalley]

The Start of Something New Pt. 1

The start of a small story detailing your shared journey with Brian into starting your family (˶^ з^(〃‿〃♡)

TW’s: mild anxiety, mild insecurity

Important note: While writing this series, the reader/(y/n) was envisioned as AFAB/non-binary, so they’ll be referred to with primarily gender neutral pronouns and endearments as per their preference.

Blimey dears, it’s been quite a while since I’ve gotten myself to actually write anything due to a remarkably intense semester in uni. I hope to make this a small series I actually complete for myself and you all. Enjoy !!!

This wasn’t something new. In all honesty, the thought had first appeared to you many many years ago. Back when you and Brian were still children and growing up together. It was understood, between the two of you, that you longed to start a family together one day. Privately, it only truly hit you some random day in 1974.

It was before you and Brian had actually become an official couple, opting for “secret” kisses and obvious pining from not-so-afar. At the time, Queen were touring in Finland, and had been asked to attend a press conference for a few international papers and many local papers. Among the bustling writers and photographers was a young boy. You never learned his name, but he was truly sweet and had melted Brian and Freddie’s hearts particularly (John was getting ready to have his own child and thus was slightly nervous, and Roger seemed a tad impartial). This boy had asked several questions of Freddie, Roger, and John by the time he’d reached Brian and had seemed to run out of what might have been deemed professional questions. Much to Brian’s delight, that meant the more creative and unique questions were reserved for him. 

From your spot somewhere to the left of the band, you listened and watched Brian participate in his interview with the young boy. You watched and admired the way that his voice softened, and he grinned politely as more questions were prepared for him. Your heart picked up pace as he took each question to heart, seriously considering his answer for each one (“Chocolate penguins” being his favourite candy in particular made you smile). As Brian answered more questions, a thought floated into your mind quite suddenly.

I want him to care for my children…

Had you not been mostly secluded from the majority of the crowd, it would have been quite obvious how your cheeks went bright red. While it caused you to blush, the realization itself truly wasn’t too severe a surprise. You had, somewhere in the back of your mind, always desired this.

Just moments after your mind had started to wander into the intricacies of your revelation, Brian was excused from the press conference for a break and found you sitting by yourself. He waved a soft wave and sat next to you, offering you a sip from his bottle of water that you gladly accepted. 

“Are you alright back here love? It’s not become too overwhelming has it?” he spoke quietly, hoping to not worsen any sensory issue you may be having. In response, you shook your head slightly.

“Nothing like that no, I’m ok Bri. Was your interview ok?” At your question, Brian’s gentle smile returned.

“I’ve actually just had quite a lovely interview with a young lad. He had some of the best questions I’ve ever been asked, I'll tell you. Really getting into the important business.” His grin grew, radiantly expressing his fondness of the interview. Brian turned his head to look at you as you nudged his shoulder gently with your own.

“I saw…” you hesitated for a moment, deciding whether or not you should speak the entirety of your mind, “It was really cute to see you interacting with that kid.” 

Brian could tell you had more to say, and he gave you room to gather your thoughts and calm yourself if need be. Yet another two traits you loved and admired about your Brimi (a nickname he’d earned for his ever improving guitar skills and impressively curly mane). His unwavering support and patience through all of your little ticks and quirks, and his ability to read your subtle body language when it counted the most. After a few beats of silence, the words seemed to spill from you as they needed to.

“I want to have your babies Brian.” You could admit, rather readily in fact, that you hadn’t intended to confess such a thing so boldly. That was hardly the kind of communication pattern you and Brian had fallen into through recent years, making it a fight to bring yourself to look to Brian’s face. 

It wasn’t a look of horror or embarrassment on his face, not even pity or of being disturbed. He almost seemed… amused and relieved? As though he were stuck between wanting to laugh at how cute and sudden your exclamation was, and wanting to hug you until you passed out. He could see your head starting to overthink however, and opted for a light hug and running a hand softly through your hair. 

“Oh my angel,” you could hear the smile in his voice as he practically purred “I’m so glad you said that, I’m glad you feel the same way I do.” He quelled any possibility for your fickle mind to take what he said and twist it into something it wasn’t despite the minute waver in his own voice (stemming from nerves he sought to hide, not wanting to give your mind any chance to think he was bluffing). With a gentle kiss to your head, he looked down at you. “Can you tell me what you’re thinking?”

“I…Brimi I’m really embarrassed that I just yelled that out suddenly and I’m slightly overwhelmed with the knowledge that you might want that too and-” A pair of the softest lips cut you off from continuing your anxious train of thought. Ever so skillfully, Brian soothed your worries with the consistent and tender press of his lips against yours, a pressure that simultaneously kept you grounded in reality and made you feel like you were flying. Low and sweet, a purr rumbled in Brian’s chest as he felt you begin to calm and relax into the kiss.

With your heart light (and full of a love you dare not fully express), you pulled away slightly from your shared kiss. You made eye contact with Bri and watched the full body shiver that ran through him bring a light blush to his cheeks and a sheepish chuckle from his lips. A chuckle that you shared with him, feeling slightly light-headed with relief from the knowledge that Brian, too, hoped to start a family with you one day.

•«•«•«•

More recently, after celebrating your tenth anniversary with Brian and months of planning your wedding after his proposal that night (Freddie will never stop teasing the two of you for taking ten years to finally get engaged), you found yourself reading through one of the astronomy magazines that could be found lying about your home in bed. You and Brian practically shared everything these days, so it was no far stretch for you to read bits of his literature and for him to read bits of your literature. Taking a sip of your rapidly cooling tea, you noticed Brian standing in the doorway of your bedroom with his eyes set on you. From his posture, it was evident that there was a topic on his mind that would keep him awake if it wasn’t discussed as soon as possible. You set aside your magazine and made eye contact with him, causing Brian to shift slightly on his feet.

“Is something wrong, my love? Come sit with me.” You pulled the comforter up from his side of the bed and settled into the pillows, a combination of movements that you both knew meant it was time for a cuddle. Instantly there was a noticeable change in Brian’s posture and his evident anxiety seeped away as he crawled into bed next to you, shedding his clothes eagerly on the way. He found his place curled up against your side, feeling quite safe and comfortable despite the lingering questions on the tip of his tongue. 

“Now, what’s on your mind Bri? I can tell you need to talk,” you placed a little kiss to the top of his head and started working your fingers through his thick curls, an action that you knew he found comfort in “Whenever you’re ready sweetheart.”

“I think… I know…” he needed a moment, a feeling you truly understood “Now that we’re engaged and our wedding is next month…(y/n), I think it’s time we truly discussed having kids.”

[yestrnight]

i'm so in love with your slime!reader series, (yes, so is everyone else. but. i'm Different, okay? i'm not Like Those Other Girls) it is infecting my brian

anyways, accept my offering of kaveh brain rot juice

cw for: dubcon, i think this is sexual torture, overstim, unrealistic amounts of cum(?), milking, mindbreak, my debatable writing skills, and lowkey sadism on slime's part

arrest me. i just want to see that man cry. listen, he's just a little soggy bread crumb of a man and i think he deserves to be milked into unconsciousness.

so, one day, like any other, you see kaveh scribbling away at his drawing desk. and as usual, he's having some trouble getting the work done. a bright idea pops into your otherwise empty, slimy head- and helpful little you decides to provide your master with some good encouragement! sucking him off under the desk and denying him release until he finishes his work! totally fool proof.

kaveh gets his work done in record time. is it good? doesn't matter, the only thought running around in his silly little fucked out brain is cumming. and you give him just that. except, you don't stop there.

at this point, all the orgasms have just melted together into one, long, torturously good high. kaveh is sure everyone in the neighborhood has heard his screams of pleasure, but it's not like he's in a position to care. the way you squelch and convulse around his poor, overstimmed dick has him scratching grooves into his work desk. his eyes haven't been anything but white for... how long, now? and he's drooling onto his already tear and sweat stained papers, but how can he focus on anything but the way you're draining his balls right now?

eventually, you've had to start holding him up yourself- his legs gave out a long while ago- but that's fine, at least now you can hold his spasming thighs apart while you fuck open both of his holes, and he's no longer trying to stop you! only now able to babble and sob incoherently, too shaky and ruined to do anything but take it. you do miss his desperate begging, sure, but he's pretty cute like this as well~!

you have to commend this man's stamina; even after being milked for hours, he's still providing you with plenty of that delicious cum you so crave- and he hasn't passed out yet! at least, you think- it's hard to tell at this point.

kaveh makes a noise that's between a groan and a scream; hoarse and low and so utterly guttural when you suck around his abused cockhead, and he might be having a seizure with the way his body thrashes from the feeling, the way his mouth opens in a silent scream, and the way that all that comes out is a choking, broken moan. you think he's orgasming again. but at this point, he's just been leaking cum for you like a faucet.

it feels like an eternity later when you release kaveh, letting his shaking body slide to the ground. his cum and your weird slime fluids mixing and dripping down his thighs, into your body, and onto the floor. just closing his legs feels like too much stimulation. as he struggles to recover, his fingers digging into the cum stained wood, and kaveh can't help but whimper and cry so pathetically, only barely comprehensible in his pitching little whines.

but you got him to finish his work, de-stress, and catch up on some much needed sleep! very proud of yourself, you clean your master (and the floor) up as best as you can at the moment, and drag his limp body into bed, where you can lick up his tears as he clings onto you.

hm... you think you'll do this again.

omg!!!!! this was so hot? op drop your url pls do you have some fics i can binge on...

and imagine! no way can whiny kaveh hide those pretty moans of his, and especially not from his roommate! alhaitham just listening into his senior's whines and your noisy slime noises as you slam your length into kaveh's prostate ◑﹏◐ he's palming himself through his leaking underwear, dick all hard and stiff. he doesn't know who he envies more— you or kaveh.

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

I am sorry that Yuzu's divorce annoucement fires up discussions about Fanyus again and that the MEDIA harassment that caused the divorce to happen is pushed aside over it BUT I am still kind of perplex about the level of delusion from some Fanyus about their own fanbase and the impact the fandom has on Yuzu's life in general...

This is MY opinion, feel free to disagree...

The MEDIA caused Yuzu trouble - this time maybe even beyond repair 😢 and I am still not over this - BUT it's not like Fanyus don't have any fans among them with disrespectful behavior that caused Yuzu discomfort. Who I personally question and want to adress with this post are those who see "no wrong" in the Fanyu fandom and aren't able to acknowledge bad behavior that did cause Yuzu personally trouble. And even things done in good faith can cause discomfort. This is not to put some Fanyus questionable behavior and media harassment on the same scale, which is not, BUT there were a lot of "unsafe" moments created for Yuzu by his own fans, some that have impacted Yuzu's personal life or invaded privacy as well.

Here are some examples for unsafe moments throughout his amateur career: For example Yuzu being to afraid to go on his own to the rink in CANADA bc ppl kept following him (you think these were all "journalists"?) and FANS put a huge poster - a paid aid even - on the bus stop he used to get off to the rink in Canada to congratulate him a couple of times(a cute thing per se but it shows how fans tracked his habits to know he'd see it). At ACI 2019 fans ran after the car they saw him getting into and almost even caused an accident (there was a huge uproar among Fanyus how some acted disrespectful). In Helsinki 2018 the crowd waited outside the VIP door in hundreds and ppl expected him to walk through a pushing crowd, security didn't walk him through this instead he went through a backdoor and even there were fans showing the camera into his face though he didn't want it. (I saw this myself from afar bc I was leaving the building at the same time to catch my flight). Yuzu almost hiding behind Brian Orser at 4CC 2020 at the airport, yes media was present too, but fans waited there for him. At Beijing 2022 fans released a photo of Yuzu AND HIS MOTHER at the airport and shared it among fans. (I am even sadly complicit in this bc I also shared the pic without realizing that it was his mother and not an authorized pic. I took it down immediately,but damage is still done) Yuzu has dozens of bodyguards around him at airports as seen in for example in Pyeongchang 2018 or 4CC 2020 and that's not only because of the media. Yuzu stopped meeting fans at events a long time ago because of the fans behavior. I think the last ppl who got a pic with Yuzu was some lil time after Sochi 2014. These are just a few examples. I don't say all these things are done with malicious intention, maybe even just meant as showing support but the "love" goes way beyond for some for what is respectful. Yes maybe these examples were not stalking his home but Sendai isn't really that huge of a city and ice rink Sendai doesn't say for no reason that they don't accept gifts for Yuzu and that ppl should act respectful. That's not targeted at the media but at ordinary ppl and fans trying to catch glimpses of Yuzu.

Yes most Fanyus condemn the Tabloid papers, but still even raging about wrong articles and retweeting and reblogging with comments to take the articles down give the articles attention. To say only non-Fanyus read those articles is delusional as to know what's wrong about an article you unfortunately have to read it yourself.

It is a known fact that Yuzu has a huge hater base, especially in Japan, but I think Fanyus have a much higher number and are a much securer target audience for media than the haters. So haters may buy tabloid articles but the ones buying everything with Yuzu's name on it or for example track what Yuzu is wearing are fans. "Hanyuconomy" is something Fanyus are really proud of, don't you think some fans still end up buying those tabloid papers for Yuzu's pic in it? And non-Japanese speaking Fanyus may not even realize that an article or magazine is tabloid stuff and problematic?

And if you think Fanyus are all sweet and unproblematic than ask the multiple fans of other skaters who got bullied by Fanyus online just for their opinions. Fanyus even bullied their own fans of sns for example they bullied two Fanyu translators off Twitter bc they didn't liked the wording or bc god forbid they made a mistake or bc translations have been misinterepreted. I have experienced my share of hatred from Fanyus online as well. I personally don't even like to call myself a Fanyu bc of how rabid Fanyus treat other fans though this whole blog once was just started bc of my fan love for Yuzu. Fanyus even made me enjoy Yuzu content less! There is a reason for other skaters fandom's calling Fanyus toxic. A huge number of Fanyus come from KPop and act according to the KPop fandom and we all know that fandom isn't unproblematic. I swear the view on Fanyus worsened over the years. It's sad because the majority of Fanyus is kind and respectful, but the ones who cause trouble fall back on the fandom as a whole.

Just the reaction by some Fanyus about both the marriage annoucement, you can definetly tell that not all Fanyus think the same way.

Fanyus is not an entity with one brain. These are multiple fans with different behavior and I strongly believe the majority is like me sad and shocked about Yuzu's divorce news and the media treatment, but you or me we cannot speak for ALL Fanyus. There are different opinions and nuances within the Fanyu fandom and that's ok. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and opinions and their way to support Yuzu. The bigger the crowd though, the more bad apples. We can ofc discuss if those bad apples can even be called "fans" but they'd call themselves Fanyus anyway and that falls back on Fanyu fandom, fair or not.

Fanyus made Yuzu bigger than the sport, more than just an athlete by bringing his fandom to new heights. It is not a bad thing per se, but with this kind of attention unfortunately the interest in this person grew beyond results and skating. He cannot be just an athlete, he didn't ask for being a celebrity but he is one and he wouldn't be one if not for the huge fandom. To say that the fandom has no impact at all on his personal situation is naive.

I am not blaming the Fanyus for Yuzu's divorce BUT imo Fanyus cannot deny their own impact and problematic behavior among them and I think it's important to have a conversation about Fanyus behavior and how to be a better fandom. But sure saying "Yuzu said it was media so we do everything alright" is so much easier than acknowledging problems among ourseleves. (Yes I am including myself there too because if I like it or not I am also part of this Fanyu fandom and atm I can't say I like it and I still feel so incredibly sorry for Yuzu)

Sorry this got out of hand again...well I said what I said...

[britingotmywholeheart]

I asked @britinbliss for their favorite britin scenes and also for their favorite qaf scenes in the whole show, and I am sooo happy that they answered, and they asked me to answer the questions too, so here we are.

My favorite britin scenes:

5. I really love their first time sex scene cause it was so intense and just beautiful and really hot. Especially, I love the rim-job Brian gave Justin. It was so beautiful when Brian's tongue runs over Justin's back and a small drop of sweat caught on her. And Justin moaning when Brian's tongue got in his ass was just so intense. I love it!

4. The pride party scene at the end of the pride episode is sooo beautiful. Justin accepted who and how Brian is and wanted to leave, so Brian can do what he wants to do, but Brian just wanted to dance with Justin is such a huge step in their relationship. "Hey stud, wanna dance with me?" "Shut up." "I promise you won't forget this one." makes me giggling and smiling every time cause it is just so cute and beautiful. Brian would literally do anything for Justin, and we see this in season two. Season five is so far away, but we can see that Brian really cares about Justin and loves him. Brian is just proud of Justin cause he made it. He showed his pride and he got over the thing with Chris Hobbs. Brian taught Justin so much and this scene shows this and is just lovely.

3. Of course, I really love the scene in s5 ep10 where Brian says "I love you." for the first time. I cried so much when I first saw it because we all waited so long for this moment, and it was soooo beautiful. Brian showed Justin that he loves him for five seasons (not straight lol) but when he said it a new era began.

2. Also, one of my favorite scenes is when Brian brought Justin to Britin and said he would do anything and be anyone to prove Justin that he loves him and that he meant it when he said he wants to marry him. The best part of this scene is when Justin said, "You bought this! This Palace!" and is totally in shock and Brian just answered "It's for my Prince." And when they made love on the floor in front of the fireplace, I was crying again.

1. My all-time favorite scene is their reunification in season three. How they are laughing and smiling while kissing and undressing each other is so beautiful. I can see that Brian missed Justin so much, and he wants him back soo badly. I just love this. And how they dance after this in Babylon is just perfect. Ben was so right when he said, "The biggest reunion since Germany" (which is so meaningful and funny to me because I am German). But I can not stay with my top five, cause my second all-time favorite scene is when Brian and Justin are celebrating that they betrayed Stockwell (of course they are celebrating with sex) and got interrupted by Stockwell and Gardner Vance. The sex in this scene was so intense and how they undressed each other was just beautiful. But what I also like about this scene is that Brian said "Wanna finish?" after Stockwell and Gardner Vance were gone. He doesn't seem to be mad about Justin and what happened. He wanted to go back to Justin and fuck his brains out like he always does, cause he hates it to get interrupted when he has his time with Justin.

To write down my top five was really difficult cause I love nearly all the britin scenes the show gives us, but I tried.

My favorite scenes from the show in general:

5. I really love the scene in s3 ep14 when everyone at Liberty Avenue is celebrating that Stockwell lost the election and Mel and Lindsey had their absolutely cute moment. They were sooo happy together, and I loved them very much in that scene. I also love the britin scene in the last moments of season three when Brian said, "I guess I've lost everything." And Justin answered, "Not everything." to show Brian, he will stay with him no matter what happens.

4. I also really enjoyed the scene in s1 ep1 when Daphne asked Justin where he was, and he just said, "I saw the face of god! His name is Brian Kinney." This scene is so funny but also shows how much Justin felt in love with Brian after one, okay two times, they had sex.

3. And you're right! I love the scenes where the whole group of friends helped for Mel´ and Lind's wedding. It was such so beautiful how they all worked together and Mel was soo happy about this. In my opinion, she wanted to hug Brian, but she knew it would be awkward for both of them, so she just smiled and punched him softly.

2. I really liked much of the scenes with Emmett and George. In my opinion they were a good and cute mature couple. And Emmett was so tough with the thing with George's money to give the whole money back to his awful family just to make his point clear.

1. I really don't like Cody Bell and what he made Justin do, but I love his little argument in the church with the reverent. "What's your point, young man?" "I believe the point is, if you can eat shrimp, we can eat cock!" I love this quote. It's so on the point and so true.

My favorite episode:

I would say my favorite episode in the show is s2 ep9, cause in serious times it's nice to watch it and just laugh about it. This whole episode is just funny and nice. The beginning where Brian fucks the reverent is so cool, cause in first place I thought Brian is just fucking around as always, but then he leans to the side and kisses Justin. And Micheal says they have a date night. Their definition of a date night is so cool. And then the whole thing with Ted taking viagra and the conversation on Mel´and Linds´ veranda, "What do you mean, you still have an erection?!" "Thank you, CNN!" is just so hilarious. Brian's idea to spook Ted's penis and when he said Mel and Lindsay should show him their tits to turn him of is soo funny. And after that, the scene where Justin and Brian really stole Teds viagra and are fucking for the tenth time this day and their conversation "I can't believe you're fucking me again." "It was your idea to steal Ted's viagra." is so fucking hilarious, too. The whole thing with Brian's mum is so shitty, and I hate Joan so much that it's actually funny again. How Brian holds his hands in front of his erection, so his mum can not see it, is so funny. I just love everything about this episode, so I should stop.

I could write so much more about other (favorite) episodes, so I should stop. It's too much.

I hope you all can understand what I wrote in here. English is not my first language, but I really try.

[danganronpa96]

Oh, this is very interesting. I assume you mean like from the DR3 anime, so (rubs hands together)

DR69:

Luigi - going into a room with the lights on (as no. 2, isn’t it your duty to be in the dark? Also this could stir up some interesting situations in the dark)

Mario - running or jumping (can’t yahoo his way out of this one)

Peter - talking (yep not a peep outta funny family moments guy, no cutaway gags no nothing, what will tiktoks use for footage now)

Brian - reading or writing (no books, no laptops, no pens. He won’t be needing them)

Miku - speaking in English (as an idol, it’s her goal to spread her voice to everyone around the world, so what if it was limited? She can still speak Japanese, and Chinese, but only a select few will understand her. Sure, it’s fine for those who can translate, but what if she was in a dire situation with someone who couldn’t…?)

Teto - Hatsune Miku dying (since she loves her so much, she’ll do anything to protect her, even if that goes for protecting her own life too)

Nagito - telling the truth (kinda like his despair disease, seems he can only lie or keep quiet… How can someone who hardly has any trust here gain any now?)

Sans - telling a joke/pun (at first this was gonna be a joke answer, but… it would be tough for him to remain serious in situations where he’d rather not be)

Parappa - crying (he really has to keep believing now, or else he’ll be clawing not to let all those emotions spill out)

Fluttershy - touching another animal participant that isn’t herself (therefore she cannot tend to any of them if the time comes)

Ashley - being more than a room apart from another person (ultimately forcing her to stick around people rather than isolate herself)

Ayano - not killing anyone in 20 days (this would really challenge her “yandere” persona, and reluctance to kill here)

2D - listening to music (this goes for music out of speakers, hearing someone sing, and even humming a tune. Man loves music so what if no song machine /album ref)

Mr. Krabs - giving or accepting a bargain (not just with money, but favours, requests, and payback all count too)

Dedede - fighting with another participant (whether physically or verbally)

The Conductor - witnessing any act of violence (since he is usually is very disregarding of other’s safety, especially during filming his own movies, perhaps now he has a chance to redeem himself with preventing danger)

DR96:

Hayasaka - giving the poison antidote he was provided to someone else (he can save someone else who triggered their action, at the cost of his own life…. (I smile deviously))

Kurumada - flirting with Hayasaka /JJJ ok but actually using his physical strength to protect someone (this goes for violent acts such as punching, or manual labour such as catching heavy objects from falling)

Mai - making eye contact with anyone (she’s such an outgoing, bubbly gal… so what if she could never meet someone eye to eye ever again? Never being able to look at the ones she loves properly… oh my)

Walter - telling a lie (cue a Walter White version of the Pinnochio scene from Shrek 3)

Jesse - swearing (Jesse don’t say “bitch” challenge impossible 5 dead 20 injured)

Saiki - using his telepathy to communicate (either open your mouth or say nothing, Saiki, your choice)

Kaidou - daydreaming (this includes roleplaying as the Jet Black wings and wearing his bandages and blazer over his shoulders, no more fantasies grow up boy /jjj)

Retsuko - raising her voice (this goes for her heavy metal screaming as well, she can’t stand up for herself anymore seeing as she mostly did it on her own in private)

Natsuki - being called “cute” (I think this would be simple but effective, cue her attempting to never share her forbidden action, and doing all she can to never be called such a thing, even going so far to be as rude as possible even if she doesn’t want to be)

Yuri - everyone does not die in 30 days (if she really wants everyone to die, she’ll do all that she can to make sure it happens before it’s too late for her. Whether she utilises their forbidden actions to do the trick or not is up for thought…)

Hiroshi - touching white objects (such as plates, paper, his own scarf… how practical can one practical boy be now?)

Brian - witnessing spiritual or supernatural activity (this could be talk of religion, going to the Shrine, reading books about such things, and anything to do with Mr. Devil…)

Bojack - participating in the consumption of alcohol (rip this guy IMMEDIATELY)

Latte - verbally conversing with a student (she can be around them, and use body language, but speaking is a no-no, so much for being a professor huh-)

L - performing any of his usual quirks (includes sitting with his knees up, eating sweets, holding things with his index finger and thumb etc., L be normal challenge)

Ena - changing emotional states (meaning they can’t go into their sad, drunk, depressed etc. states. Oh boy get ready for a challenge folks)

[eloeloanna]

A Brian reading

@sleeper9 asked me If I could do some Brian-related questions. So here we are!

This is for entertainment purposes only.

-

Check my readings! here

-

The first question was:

What did Brian think of each Beatle?

For this question I took my cards and put them on 4 piles. That’s why every question seems to have very short answers 😭. Now I regret of it, there’s so much tea to know! And I LOVE TEA! 🤣.

What did Brian think of John?

I think when Brian met John, he thought that he was this very powerful and intimidating person, and that he was the kind of person you could easily trust, because even if the truth would be hard, he would tell you anyway. I think some sudden event happened that changed his perspective about John. I can’t tell you what, but I can say that Brian felt confused about that, he didn’t know what to make of it. He just thought about being “careful” and impartial after it. But this event led to Brian think very fondly of John. It was like he could “see” something new. He even thought about how he could get that back, to see that beautiful side of John. And even If he could see it again, John responded very bad, he was very defensive about it. So Brian felt very depressed about it, and thought that their relationship wasn’t the same as before. I’m so mad because I don’t have more cards! 😭 So this is what I’ve got 🥲🤝.

What did Brian think about Paul?

This one has to stay.

It was like Paul had this enormous potential. It was like he could see what he could do of Paul. He knew Paul would be popular and give him money, opportunities. He really would do anything to keep Paul, but it was like Paul couldn’t see at first how much effort Brian would do for him, but then, he would try to do something for him. He liked that Paul “recognised” him, it was something that made him feel some stability, some contempt. I think that kind of exchange in some moment made Brian very confused. Did Paul like me? Like REALLY like me? Do I like Paul? It was messy honestly 🫠. It was even difficult to know If Paul wanted to play with him or not. It seems sometimes that yes, he wanted to play with him, and sometimes no, he was just living his own life. I don’t even would be surprised if Brian actually tried to do something about it, but wasn’t successful. Aaaaand I don’t have more cards 😭.

What did Brian think about Ringo?

Probably he tried to show himself very diplomatic about Ringo but he wasn’t very sure about him. It was like Ringo could be a problem. He accepted him but he was very wary of him. He really thought that it wouldn’t be worth to have a person like him in the band. He tried to have enough patience but he would think “what would happen if this doesn’t work?” “What if he makes us lose money?”, but the remaining Beatles would still prefer having Ringo, and Brian would think they were mad 🤣😭. Even when he could see all of them having a very good work relationship, he would still be keeping an eye on them, for his distrust of Ringo. It had to pass a long time until he fully accepted Ringo and think that it wasn’t a bad idea having him.

What did Brian think about George?

Kind of bitchy - kind of nice 😭🤣. He liked that George seemed very chill and friendly. Sometimes he wouldn’t liked to be around him because he could be SO dense 😭. It was very difficult to convince George and he had to be very patient with him. It was like he could make a deal with George but he had to offer something else interesting for GEORGE (🤣) to make him do something 😭. I have a few cards here but it shows that he grew up tired of that dynamic. I don’t know if this could be definitive or not, since I don’t have more cards 😔.

Did Brian know or suspect anything about j/p relationship?

Yes.

When he met them…ugh, I don’t even know how to explain it. But I’ll try my best 😭.

It was a lot of things: firstly - it was like he could see himself in them. Secondly - it was “evident” for him, so it was very painful. He convinced himself though, that it wasn’t what he thought and tried very hard to keep that opinion. “Nothing happened”.

The thing is, time to time he would reverse and think that it was true. They were something. And again the pain would come back, so again he would try to think “differently”. I think some very important event had to happen for Brian to actually do something about it. I don’t know if he was direct in his confrontation but he did make his thoughts known, I don’t know if to John, Paul or the other Beatles.

The other person (s) negated this happening, and even tried to trick Brian and made him think he was stupid for even suggesting something like that. Brian in return tried to be more diplomatic about it, but the other part (s) refused to saying something directly.

I think by other kind of communication Brian had a confirmation of this happening, but the other part (? (for me different person) reacted very differently. It was like he didn’t care 😭. So for Brian this was horribly painful. It was like suddenly he could see them as a couple. A full realised couple. And it was very difficult for him to decide what to do about it. I could even say that there were some kind of paranoid thinking: were they having sex all this time? Were they mocking me all this time? Did they love each other? What am I going to do? How should I feel?

It was very messy 😢. But he knew. He knew.

Was Brian ever in love with Paul?

I think he was very intimidated of Paul because in a way, he was 😢.

It was very difficult to be around Paul because Paul was very sexy 🤣😭 (I mean, same girl, SAME). It was like Brian was trying very hard to not do something about it. Sometimes Brian would do things for Paul without even realising it. And then he would be very confused. Paul would be around him but still living his life (?. The cards are still showing me this dynamic of Brian doing things for Paul but Paul being kind of bitchy 😭.

I don’t know really if Brian felt love for Paul. It seems to me that he liked him, but also (looking at the previous reading), it seems to me that Brian had self-steem issues, so everytime that Paul would say “thank you” or whatever, he would feel glory 😔😢. I want to hug Brian honestly 😔😔😔.

[waughymommy]

MOMMY KNOWS BEST 💕

Chapter 16

Progress was coming along nicely in the nursery. So far, Rebecca had successfully kept him from seeing the room’s transformation. She was confident that it would be ready for the big reveal on Friday. Brian also seemed to progressing with the hypnotic conditioning. She planned on really testing his suggestibility after she showed him his new nursery.

She wondered how Brian was faring at work. I wonder if Samantha has revealed our conversation yet. Speak of the devil. Her phone buzzed with a text from Samantha:

            Good morning. I wanted you to know that your baby boy soaked his diapers right in front of me. You have done such an amazing job regressing him.

            Rebecca: Oh I am so happy. I can’t thank you enough for your help. I feel so much better that he has someone to watch over him at work.

            Samantha: It’s really no problem. He is just precious when he is little. You must let me babysit him at home sometime.

            Rebecca: I think that can be arranged.

            Samantha: I never in my wildest dreams imagined changing a grown man’s diapers. But now that I have, I think if I ever get a man of my own, he will have to return to diapers.

Rebecca smiled. Not only had she gotten her baby, but it seems that a new friendship was budding.

After Samantha changed his diaper, Brian knew that she was never again going to view him as her boss, but he hoped she would at least pretend for appearance’s sake. She filled up his sippy cup with apple juice and set it on his desk. “Ok sweet boy, its time to be a big boy for a while and get some work done. I will check on you later. And remember its ok to use your diaper, but just come get me if you want to try and use the potty,” she said much like a mother to a toddler.

Brian blushed again at the mention of his diapers. She left the office and closed the door behind her. How on earth could he possibly focus? He realized he was still sucking on the pacifier and he quickly removed it. If these two women could regress him with such ease at any moment, was he now permanently bound to diapers. He had fantasized so many times about being reduced to a helpless baby. Now that it was happening and he questioned if this is what he wanted. But he feared it was too late. He was going to have to accept and trust that they would keep him safe.

He tried to act like everything was normal. Now that he was alone, his adult clarity started to return. He needed to start brainstorming how to market this new Babies R Us line. Brian always liked to sketch out ideas by hand whenever he was brainstorming. He even kept a whiteboard in his office for this very purpose. He went up to the board. His mind was blank. How could he ever have a mother’s perspective? He looked down at the sippy cup sitting on his desk. He brought it too his mouth and tasted the sweet juice. Maybe he couldn’t tap into the perspective of a mother, but he knew what it felt like to be a baby. Maybe not entirely, but then again, he was in a very thick diaper. He closed his eyes and tried to recall the feelings he had when his mommy was in control. In those moments, he didn’t think in words, but feelings and sensations. He opened the cap to the marker and started scribbling the feelings he experienced with his mommy: warmth, safety, trust, love, giggly. He kept scribbling across the board: cold, wet, hungry, scared, small, full, peaceful. He stared at the words he had scrawled out. He keyed in one word in particular: trust. He grabbed a red marker and drew a big circle around it.

Trust could be a nebulous word. It gets tossed around so much that it sometimes lost meaning. But with his recent experiences, it took on new meaning for him. When he was wet, he had to trust that his mommy would change him. When he felt scared, he had to trust that she would keep him safe. He thought about the night that this all started. By him agreeing to be her baby, he was entrusting her with his greatest vulnerability. Obviously, babies aren’t able to articulate what they are feeling, but who would know better as to what a baby was feeling: mothers. He still had a long way to go, but this exercise was getting the wheels turning.

Brian was so consumed with his work, he didn’t realize that half the morning had elapsed. He was so happy that he had been able to regain that focus. It gave him a glimmer of comfort that maybe he still in control of some things. Maybe he could be both a big boy and a baby. But then a rumble in his belly snatched his attention. He hadn’t had a bowel movement since Saturday. Perhaps his anxiety and nerves had bound him up. When he had played in diapers before this all began, he had never messed himself. It was one thing to wet, but he wasn’t willing to do that. He felt nervous about having to ask Samantha to go potty. He could just use his diaper, but having her change a messy diaper might be even more embarrassing. He looked back at the board. Trust. He had to put it to the test and trust that Samantha meant everything she said to him.

He peaked his head out the door, “Umm, can I see you for a moment?”

“Of course,” she smiled.

Inside the office, Brian started to have second thoughts about asking, but then another rumble in his belly made him find the courage to ask. “Ummm, I need to use the potty… I mean the restroom.”“Oh! Ok. Let me help you,” she was actually surprised that he came and asked. Brian started to unbutton his shirt. She playfully slapped his hand, “Uh uh uh baby, let me do that,” she chided him. After removing his shirt and pants, she pulled his onesie over his head, “Lay on the couch for me.” She undid the tapes of his diaper and set it aside. Fortunately, these diapers were refastenable. She then went through the trouble of redressing him. “Alright, I think you look acceptable to walk through the office. You don’t have any big boy undies, but I think you will be ok for a few minutes. When you get back, I will get you back in your diaper,” she said.

            “Thank you,” Brian said timidly.

            “Thank you what,” she said with one eye-brow raised.

            “Umm… thank you Auntie Samantha,” he said like a child that had just be scolded.

            She patted his bottom, “Off you go.”

After a few minutes he returned. Although he still struggled with his embarrassment, Samantha was helping him feel more at ease. Back in the office, she had Brian undressed once again. The haze of regression swept over him again as he stood before her in nothing but his birthday suit. His thumb made it to his mouth. “Lay down baby,” she cooed. She pulled out some wipes and proceeded to clean his bottom.

“But Aunfie Samanfa, I wiped myself after I went potty,” he said with his thumb still ensconced in his mouth.

“I know sweetie, but I just wanted to make sure that you are all clean,” she responded.

She rediapered him and got him dressed again. When he was finished, he started to “grow up.” He pulled his thumb from his mouth and blushed.

She placed her hand on his arm, “Brian what did I tell you. There is no need to feel embarrassed. Do you think if I was judging you that I would be standing here? I want you to feel comfortable to act as little as you want around me. Ok?”

“I know, its just hard. And if it makes you feel any better, I still get really nervous with mommy too,” he said not even realizing that he said mommy instead of Rebecca. “Its hard and scary, but I want you to know that I am really thankful that you are here to help me. It really helps to know I am not alone. To be honest, I felt really scared yesterday, especially when I had my accident.”

“I have to imagine that must have felt really scary and lonely. You aren’t alone Brian. You can count on me anytime,” she said. Brian felt a tear run down his check. He felt like he had cried so much over the past few days. “Oh sweetheart, there isn’t any reason to cry,” she said as she pulled him in for a hug. “You are such sweet boy and you are just too cute in your diaper. I could just eat you up,” she snickered and started tickling him. Brian’s tears turned to giggles. “Now I don’t want to hear anymore about feeling embarrassed, whether its around me or even around your mommy. We both want you to be a happy baby. Now let’s try to get a little more work done before I take you out to lunch, my treat,” she smiled.

[smokin-symbiotes]

October Horror Movies #5

'Manhunter' (1986) - Dir. Michael Mann

Summary: Former FBI profiler Will Graham is back on the job to catch a dangerous serial killer—will he catch the killer before he strikes again? Will his sanity remain intact when he's done? 

Michael Mann is so cool. Even in what is ostensibly a horror/thriller story, Mann has to include his love for synth/electronic music, his slick sense of fashion and decor, his attention to procedure and the chase in catching criminals. He's so fucking cool, dude. 

'Manhunter' isn't my first experience with the 'Red Dragon' story by Thomas Harris. I remember seeking out the 2002 movie of the same name (when I was younger I was really into Edward Norton—maybe a teenage celeb crush?) and then the novel. I recall getting about halfway through the novel before putting it down: I think I just didn't have the drive at the time to finish it.  

As for the movie, 'Red Dragon,' I was a little obsessed with it, mainly because of Ralph Fiennes performance as serial killer Francis Dolarhyde: it's sad, scary, and often over the top, which makes it the movie's most distinct feature. Looking back now, I think he's the only real highlight of the movie, and even then, I have a few reservations about what they chose to adapt when compared to 'Manhunter'. 

I want to talk a little more shit about 'Red Dragon' that I think will segue into 'Manhunter's strength. Again, looking back, 'Red Dragon' feels kind of melodramatic: there's an orchestral score that permeates every pore of the film, the last half-hour has WAY too much going on—I really can't take it seriously. 

Some stuff is just funny—the burning body of Freddy Lounds (Philip Seymour Hoffman) rolling in a wheelchair downhill looks like something out of a 'Jackass' outtake, Francis scarfs down the Red Dragon painting like a dog loose in a paper bin; when Graham's kid is taken hostage by Dolarhyde, Graham roasts the shit out his flesh-and-blood to provoke the Tooth Fairy (I get WHY he did it, it's still kind of funny when it shouldn't be). 

Pivoting to 'Manhunter' now—the movie cuts out some of the fat from the book and leaves a lean thriller that breezes through its two-hour runtime. I think this is helped by Mann's emphasis on procedure—the focus of the movie is on Graham (William Peterson) building a case piece by piece, collecting and analyzing evidence, enmeshing himself deeper into the psychology of a serial killer before it all comes together in one great, big "Eureka!" moment at the climax. 

Peterson's performance is spectacular. Will's empathy has left him burnt out in a way that feels more believable than Norton's take on the character. His self-hatred for identifying with serial killers, his tremendous love for his family and the victims, and his brilliant detective work make him entrancing to watch. He feels like a prototype of the "damaged but gifted" copotype we see so much in the modern era.  

Tom Noonan as Francis Dollarhyde is no slouch either. Dollarhyde feels totally alienated, a prisoner of his own psyche. He's so worn down that he comes off as an emotionless husk, only breaking through with the occasional flash of empathy as Francis, or the cold rage of the Red Dragon. 

The rest of the cast is played perfectly—Brian Cox's Hannibal Lecktor is smarmy but radiates quiet menace: he feels like someone you'd meet on the street. Dennis Farina as Jack Crawford is the perfect authority figure—I particularly love his thick Chicago accent. Joan Allen as Reba McLane is played with confidence and kindness—which makes her victimization at the hands of the Dragon tragic and terrifying. 

And of course, how could you talk about a Michael Mann movie without discussing the production values. Almost every scene is color-coded—Lecter's stark white cell represents his purity, his self-acceptance; Graham is mostly seen in a black suit, a walking void devouring the emotions of those around him; his home is bathed in soothing blue light in the evening, right off of the ocean; anything related to the case is associated with green, for discovery and inquisitveness. Every frame is its own little piece of art, from the color to how it's composed. 

The best thing about the movie is the synth driven score, which somehow works. I was sort of worried going into the movie that the score would clash too much, but it didn't for me. You have ambient themes to emphasize dread and discovery, driving anthems to emphasize the emotional and thematic punch of a scene. Notably, the movie uses an eight-minute cut of Iron Butterfly's 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida' at its climax, which heightens the terror of Dollarhyde menacing a captive Reba, while also taking his confrontation with Will and the cops to the next level.

'Manhunter' is sort of the odd-man-out of all the Hannibal Lecter adaptations, but I think it's the one I've been charmed the most by. Mann has a reputation as being the poster-boy for the slick '80s style, but I think his work displays a tremendous amount of rigor, from the production details to his empathetic character writing. On this platform I know NBC's 'Hannibal' is inarguably the most popular version of this story—but this movie is well worth a watch for an alternative take on characters you may be familiar with. Even then—it's a Michael f'n Mann movie. It's gonna be cool as shit.

[rjmhereunderprotest]

The Polly/Oz Shipping Post for Personal Mental Well-Being

It's been one of those past couple days, and frankly I'm in need of a break from... well a lot of thoughts. I've not been absorbing some stuff well. I'd normally slip into Gwenpool stuff, but at the moment that's kinda being a mental drain. So, I need to focus on something positive and happy and anything that makes me smile and- oh look Polly and Oz of Monster Prom!

For something that is not technically canon in any respect, because Monster Prom's canon is whatever the hell you want it to be relationship wise, Polly and Oz have always spoke to me as the S-Tier Romance of the game. Sure, many people ship Oz with Damien and Polly is... well I'm not sure who is preferred. I've noticed at least one person goes REALLY hard for Polly and Vicky. Regardless both and all Monster Prom ships, regardless of popularity are equally valid. This isn't a definitive statement about canon because right now canon isn't always the answer for me. Even though a lot of Monster Prom's promotional material likes to show Polly teasing Oz in an overtly flirty manner, that isn't a definitive statement about the creator's preferences. They've had Oz decide to date Zoe in a Monster Road Trip trailer, it means nothing. (Although Zoe is fricking awesome and is my second romance choice behind Polly) What matters most in Monster Prom, at least to me, is emotional connection and compatibility. I think it's the same for, well, frankly a lot of ships.

So this is a bit of Fandom Mentality self-care where I talk about why I've written in my mind that Polly and Oz make the most sense for romantic partners. Because I love them a lot and I find them cute and I think it just makes sense. So... let's start.

So, Oz... why do I main Oz so much is probably the real question I should be asking myself? Maybe because they fit the most with me and my high school experience. Oz is an extreme introverted, nervous social outcast. Everything about his dialogue and actions we can see him doing in the game suggests he is a mega nerd, a good student and, quite frankly, at the bottom of the Spooky High totem pole. Like I was.

I'm not a Vicky who was bold and outgoing, I'm not a Brian who was aloof and tried to coast, I'm certainly not Amira, the fiery bad girl. No, I was Oz, perpetually afraid of high school even as I took the work seriously but constantly wanted to get out of there because it was a fucking pressure cooker!

The difference between me and Oz is obvious, THEY are some kind of amorphous shadow creature who, apparently, is the embodiment of fear. He's probably older than even Liam. He's quite possibly super powerful. And his little imaginary friends who he uses to try to cope are real, they're those little phobias who pop up around him and do cute things. And yet, they choose to be THIS, they choose to be this scared high schooler who is insular, lonely looking and desperate for love/affection. At the very least he seems to WANT acceptance. Like most of the super thirsty monsters among the main characters of the game. I identified with that a lot. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, he's clearly lonely and probably not always in the best place mentally as he tries to navigate a high school that he probably doesn't need to be in. Honestly, none of the monsters need to be there though, I mean... they don't exactly LEARN anything there as far as I can tell. I'm not even sure if they have a full staff of teachers or if most of them are just jokes.

So I've always just seen Oz as my closest facsimile to my High School experience, at least in terms of how it felt, terrified of everything and wondering if I even belonged there. So while I like the other characters, Vicky and Brian especially, I always felt more connected to Oz as a result. I know this sounds like "He/They are Literally Me FR", but it's more... I just can more easily place myself into Oz's headspace and emotionally connect with him to a degree. I don't think I'd make all the choices he does, but I can certainly understand him the most out of all the characters in the cast.

When the eventual Monster Prom Reverse is released, I fully expect Oz's character will be better fleshed out. If he hasn't been already in those Monster Road Trip sequences where he can be a hitchhike passenger. This is mostly just my interpretation based on what I've seen. This is the unique thing about Monster Prom shipping when it involves anything with the MCs. A lot of it is speculation and, a little if not a lot, of self-insertion. So it's best to always keep that in mind. This is a dating sim after all, fantasy wish fulfillment is inevitable, it's something even the game criticizes about itself a lot. That a lot of this is very silly and stupid and unrealistic in terms of actually setting up a real relationship with someone, especially a romantic one. It's why it usually doesn't take itself too seriously. Which is epitomized by, who else...

Polly Geist, the ghost party girl who I'd call the face of Monster Prom if I didn't think Damian could arguably be just as much at this point, at least Tumblr wise. Polly is still super popular though and its easy to see why. She funny, fun, cool, extremely sex positive, her outlook is very progressive, lighthearted and she is herself... sexy as hell. She's just a really fun character and it's hard not to enjoy any of her scenes on their own.

Whether she's pulling pranks with Scott, (Well, mostly leading Scott into pulling pranks because the dude is too stupid and nice to know how to do them) starting food fights by flashing people, causing general mayhem in the pursuit of advancing the science of partying or scamming you into performing a nonsensical sex act, Polly is highlight of Monster Prom. Even when she's too drunk to know what's going on, or high, or drunk and high, Polly is the afterlife of the party... which goes on forever from her perspective because she's dead. And yet despite that she is the love interest in Monster Prom who loves life the most and refuses to not spend it to its fullest. You have to admire that level of extroverted joy.

But Polly is not a superficial party girl, she might be dead and therefore removed from all consequences of her lifestyle, but she isn't a shallow sex obsessed ghost. She has actual depth, probably the most out of the other main love interests, barring maybe Vera, but that's mostly because of her sisterhood with Valerie gives her some much needed motivation beyond just being an evil criminal mastermind/capitalist. (Although I imagine a few people would say there's little difference between the two professions) Polly's depth is ALL hers. Because this is the thing... Polly's Forever 22, Stupid and Partying attitude? It's a front.

Oh she doesn't actually HATE partying, sex or drugs. She loves and is ALL about that. That's as much who she is as anything, but she plays up the idea that she's an idiot... when she's far from anything. Polly is actually an accomplished MASTER Chess player, a highly advanced gaming skill level that requires a lot of forward thinking and strategizing. She really good at Chemistry, mostly because it enables to make her own drugs, but Chemistry is a highly analytical field involving math, problem solving and attention to detail. Her favorite field of study though is literature, Classic Russian Literature in the vein of Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. This is reflected in one of the Pre-Game Skill Boost choices, where the FUN option (Which is Polly personified) involves making a movie that has several of the most famous Russian Novelists going off on a Hangover-style adventure.

The point is, Polly isn't an idiot. She's actually highly intelligent... so why does she act like a fool? Because... she wants to. She wants to spend her afterlife how she most desires. That doesn't preclude her other interests of course, she still loves chess, chemistry and "War & Peace", but she's capable of more than just those nerdy pursuits. She pushes herself to remain highly socially, outgoing, never allowing her love of life to dim even in death. And she just doesn't want to advertise, I think, her more intellectual pursuits. Likely because she doesn't want to appear above all of that, as better than the people she cares about, because she does care about people.

Scott is probably her best friend, as a Fellow Prank Masterz (With a Z). And Scott IS an idiot, like a complete idiot. Look up the word Himbo in the dictionary and you find his face. He might be a lovable genuinely nice werewolf jock... but he is very clearly a dumbass. But Polly will spend time with him, why? Because she's enjoys his company, she enjoys being with him and pulling pranks. She never considers being more intelligent than him as something to lord over Scott. She might easily lead him into some situations, but she never wants to make him feel inferior to her.

And that attitude extends to other people, like Kale. You might know him as the plant guy, as well as the Asexual/Aromantic character of the game. He has no interest in sex or romance... but Polly hangs out with him and smokes weed with him anyway. When your character tries to seduce Kale (albeit you do not know he is an ace at the time) Polly is irate with you for making shit weird. It's very clear Polly understands and respects personal boundaries. She'll tease people, try to make them come out of their shells, open up, live a little... but if she knows that someone is not interested she won't push things. Kale is a friend and despite being a flirty party girl, she does not do anything to jeopardize that with him.

There's a lot I could on with about Polly honestly, her friends with benefits relationship with Faith of the Coven, her sunny friendship with the cold Vera, her seemingly really good organizational skills for setting up an Orgy... but at some point I'd just be arguing that Polly is best girl and that's not why we're here. I'd just wanted to lay this all out so we better understood who Polly is.

So why with Oz? I'd be lying if there wasn't some sort of wish fulfillment element to it. Like I said, a lot of dating sims fall into this category and Monster Prom doesn't pretend its any better, it's just trying to acknowledge it and offer a different take on it. So the idea of a popular party girl falling for a neurotic nerd who's afraid of everything is no doubt appealing to me on a personal level, but I like to think there's more to it. If only so my enjoyment of this pairing isn't completely concieted sounding.

Here's the deal, Polly's obvious flirting with Oz, pushing his buttons, taking an interest in him, is clearly an effort to get him to come out of his bubble and enjoy things. To not be so scared to live life. I don't think any of it is pushy though, it's mostly knowing looks, brushing her hands along sensitive spots, she's gentle about it. She never seems to be forcibly pushing Oz to leave his safe space, but urging him to try.

The idea that Oz would be willing to try, because this crazy hot ghost girl takes an interest in him is... well frankly cute in both respects. Him because he's willing to take a risk for personal self-growth. Her because she seems to be doing this without any concept of a reward. She's not overtly trying to get in his pants and I don't think she's maliciously messing with him, playfully yes, but she clearly doesn't have sinister designs to make a fool of him. She's just decided Oz could use the chance to escape his box and she'd like to be the lockpick... and knowing her she'd probably make that into innuendo, but that's just Basic Polly at that point.

But why would Polly be interested in Oz romantically? We can already discern why Oz would be. Polly is a sexy fun party girl, she seems to take an interest in him despite having the pick of the litter. Finding out her hidden depths would like only make Oz like her more, although I suspect he'd be concerned that he thought less of her for a bit. Ultimately Polly is designed, like all the love interests, to illicit this response with ANY of the main characters you can play as. The thing that makes it different, special with Oz is that his personality as the shy nerd boy makes their match with the outgoing party girl appealing aesthetically. But why would Polly be into Oz?

Well those hidden depths I mentioned are part of it to a degree. Polly's intellectual pursuits never held her back. She probably doesn't want the same for Oz. Although I feel their more calm, collected and less extroverted nature would give Polly an anchor that she probably sometimes needs. While she is good at knowing when to stop, what her limits are and should be, let's not kid ourselves, like everyone at Spooky High, Polly has a tendency to go overboard to an extreme degree. Like, one of her endings involves the literal apocalypse so... yeah. Polly could use a tether and she probably wants that to some extent. Both for reasons I'll explain soon and reasons I've already stated. Polly likes to know when she is crossing a line because she isn't outwardly malicious, she doesn't want to hurt people in her pursuit of fun. Polly only ever gets mad if you're ruining her fun by being boring or just by being a jerk to people she thinks don't deserve it. And Oz likely knows better at times what lines she doesn't want to cross herself.

Another part of it is who Oz is himself, besides seeing some things in him that are like her, Oz doesn't come across as the kind of person who would consider Polly as just another sexy girl they can bag. Oz very clearly respects Polly, that's what a lot of the point of the events that can lead to dating of the love interests in the game are about, respect. Respect for yourself and respect for the person you want to be with, understanding who they are and appealing to those aspects, showing you're willing to meet them at their level. In my mind, if anyone would respect Polly as a person rather than just a shallow sex kitten a lot of people sometimes see her as, it would be Oz.

And this is because... well Oz himself, or themself, isn't all they appear to be. They are, after all, the embodiment of fear. As I alluded to, Oz does not seem to fit in Spooky High in any sense. He's probably more of an Eldritch than even Zoe. At least Zoe has a recognizable form as basically an adorable version of some sort of Lovecraft Mythos Tentacle Beast. Oz is some sort of shadow creature. Some people have assumed he's like Slender Man or something to that effect. An SCP that's gone rogue and decided to attend high school. He should not be intimidated by anything here. Although I imagine, if anything could make a shadowy creature that is the living concept of fear itself quake in terror, it would be high school. Oz doesn't strike me as someone who sees people as what they are on the outside. Oh imagine he would be shocked to see how different Polly is on the inside, but he's not going to let that completely deter him. If nothing else I think Oz is a very determined shadow creature. Why would he keep up this appearance of a pathetic frightened geek? Maybe because he is genuinely frightened, maybe he has other motives, maybe he's just doesn't want to be defined by what the world says he has to be. But I am certain that, at the very least, he chooses to be what he is now as much Polly chooses to be what she is now. In a strange way, they're both seemingly living an afterlife... or different life.

As a sort of aside, there is something to be said on a mythic level too of a ghost, a spirit typically meant to evoke fear in people of the inevitability and permanence of death, and a creature that is the literal personification of fear itself, falling in love. A spirit that was once mortal and a being that has just always been since time immemorial. It's kinda like something out of Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman" when you look at it in that respect. And I do like me some Sandman.

But if that's not enough to convince you of at least some substantive reason for why I like Polly and Oz together... well here we go. The one time Polly ever got serious feels most appropriate when it is connected to Oz rather than any other character, to me. Let's talk about the Locket.

The Locket is an Event Item you can unlock in Valerie's Store, like most of the added Event Items that were added in around the Holiday Season, it's meant to flesh out the love interests some. While they're not exactly lighthearted, Scott's deals with being abandoned as a pup, they're not exactly bereft of comedy either. But The Locket comes close. It starts out with the mysterious haunted inhabitant of the locket trying to share his sad story of lost love... and then Polly shows up and decides to hijack that whole plot as she do! Because she's gonna smoke it! Yeah, she's gonna literally smoke a locket and she wants you to join her. This leads to a few choices about responsible drug use, probably useful. Honestly if I ever did drugs I'd at least want to be safe about it.

However the good times of you enabling Polly's addictions is somewhat ruined by the untimely arrival of the Coven, Spooky High's pre-eminent supernatural hero squad in the vein of Charmed/Buffy, except not objectively terrible (Charmed) or written by an asshole. (Buffy) They're quick to do the usual "Just Say No" deal at Polly, wishing she wouldn't supplement her partying with constant drug use. Polly, dropping her usual fun façade, gets serious and lectures back. Insisting she is not being irresponsible... she's dead. And therefore nothing she does can hurt her and even regardless she practices safety first with her drug use. She is not any worse than someone who really enjoys a lot of chocolate and she is in control of her drug use unlike such people. "Drug Use, Not Abuse" she explains.

It almost works, the Coven actually respectfully admit that they're probably sticking their noses in a place they don't belong. Polly isn't stupid, she is responsible and more importantly she is already dead so it's not like she can really harm herself anyway. Then Polly lets it slip that the locket she's smoking contains the soul of a dead guy and they take issue with that. Smoking haunted artifacts is fine, but a clear line in their eyes is basically smoking a soul for your own benefit and possibly destroying said soul's afterlife. Polly is fed up playing nice and tells them to fuck off, because it's HER afterlife and she'll spend it how she wants. Making reference that she knows plenty about drugs because drug use was how she died. Joy, the Coven's leader, then makes a mistake. Thinking this is another bit of the ongoing gag of Polly making up how she died, she has a lot of them and this feels no different, but seemingly more insensitive by making drug abuse a joke. She tells Polly that maybe she wouldn't be so flippant about her drug use if SHE had been harmed by someone's use of drugs.

And this is when Polly loses her shit. The insensitivity of the comment sends Polly over the edge declaring the Coven, and by extension us who have mostly been silent during this whole exchange, have no idea what her life was like and what she's been through and declared that if this is how they're going to speak to her about how she lives her afterlife, fine! Fuck everyone! She's going to party... but not fun party.

Polly's in-game sprite art takes on a horrifying visage. Her eyes glow, her smile turns to a painful scowl, her rage seems to basically circle her head like something out of Poltergeist or the Exorcist. And she can only speak in all-caps rage about how she wants to keep partying forever. Her anger affects the school all around her, as the halls apparently fill with ghastly wails and flying objects. You can't even talk to her at the lunch break, she will beam Liam in the head with a chair just for "Um Actuallying" her. Liam kinda deserves it, so it's funny, but the rest of this is not.

The Coven, mostly Joy, realizing their mistake, enlist you to help them fix this. You can do this by either contacting Polly's mom or a creepy yet friendly psychic kid ala the Sixth Sense. Either way, a successful meeting ends the same way, this reaction really is related to how Polly actually died but if you want to know what happened you need to talk to Polly herself.

You find Polly huffing gas in the school basement, completely forgetting her "Drug Use, not Abuse" statement in favor of just outright indulgence. Joy and the Coven apologize best they can and say they want to understand, but Polly is indignant. Revealing that her death was caused by her father. He was the drug abuser in the family and he made life difficult for everyone. He didn't cause Polly's death deliberately, it was a car accident while he was under the influence, killing Polly, her mom, her little sister... but leaving her father alive. She had been using drugs herself at that age, but she tried to be responsible with them. Possibly as an attempt to connect to her dad, it's not outright said, but it's implied. And despite her being careful she still ended up dying anyway.

Polly at that point demands to know what crazy idiotic choice between two options are you going to pick to suddenly make all this shit better. And even the game admits that this isn't really the time to be funny and offers two options that are sincere, supportive and apologetic. If successful, it breaks through Polly's emotional episode and allows her to finally put herself at ease and come to terms with her feelings.

You might be wondering why the player has to do any of this. It wasn't YOU who stepped on Polly's incorporeal toes and shamed her. You didn't awaken any long buried trauma with insensitive speech. Well, no, but you were kinda enabling Polly's worst habits. Not the drug use, but not considering the harm she could cause to others through it, like smoking another person's soul. So, really you're sorta responsible for not checking Polly's worse tendencies, just letting her ride the haunted locket smoke train without trying to dissuade her because it's just Polly being Polly. So being honest and trying to reach her by admitting that you just want to hear her out or even just be there for her right now, no judgment or anything else, that's an important step here.

Polly of course fakes crossing over as a prank to show that she's back to her old self again and promises to be more mindful of her drug use from now on. But it's not all good. After picking Polly to go to Prom, she admits to the player that she still feels hurt and sad. That in her pursuit of living her afterlife to the fullest, she got caught up in the same mistakes her father made and she's not proud of it. Most importantly though, she admits that despite everything she doesn't hate her dad for what he did, she still loves and misses him. That a lot of her drug use was more about just trying to forget rather than confront these feelings, ignoring the pain rather than dealing with it. Being happy is great and all, but not at the expense of acknowledging when you're hurting.

In all honesty, I feel this ending works best with Oz. Because I can more readily see Oz empathizing the most with Polly in this moment. If anyone knows about hurt, it's a creature that embodies fear. And Polly has admitted to hers, feeling hurt. Oz being there for Polly, trying to show that this is okay, that being not okay is ok, makes the most sense for me. Polly doesn't want to hurt anyone because she knows what it's like to hurt the people you love. And Oz I feel knows a lot about hurt being what they are. And maybe through sharing that kind of pain, in confronting things like Polly encouraged Oz to do with his own fears, they can both be stronger people.

This isn't to say these scenes can't work with other characters, they're not built to only work with one of the MCs. But for me, a lot of Polly's stories and events, this one especially, ring the most true when it involves Oz.

I think the relationship between the two can and could be very endearing. Allowing both to actually confront their fears, center themselves and be better people in the end. Monster Prom's tagline is "Be Your Worst Self", a sort of play on words, but a lot of its romances are actually a play on that concept. The phrase is really about being true to who YOU are more than anything, that includes the worst parts of you. If Monster Prom is about anything it's about finding happiness with who you are before you can truly find happiness with another. And I feel something like PollyxOz stands the best chance of achieving that goal.

I don't want to pretend it's the only solution, of course it isn't, none of this as said before is meant to invalidate your love for Oz getting with Damian or Zoe or Miranda or Polly with Vicky or Brian or even Amira. (Although I feel like no one is beating AmiraxVera on that one) This is about what works for me and my rationalization, you are free to think differently of course. I would hope this at least better explained my preferences and perhaps even helped you a little with your own anxieties as it has mine today.

Well I suppose I should try and lead you to some more Polly/Oz content if you're interested. While I do have ideas for fanfics and there's plenty of art you can look up, I'd rather just send you over to Vanilla Chinchilla, who is probably more prolific and better artistically concerning this than I ever could be. Again, this stuff is all just me working through some junk. Plus their artwork, such as the comic panels right above this paragraph, is really cute and fun and I enjoy it a lot.

That's really all from me, if you've honestly stuck it out this long with me rambling about the romance of two monsters from a silly video game... well I applaud you I honestly don't know if this is really all that compelling. This was an exercise for my own sake, but like I said, I hope you got something out of it. At the very least, I've put something positive into this place rather than just ragging on it for crass reasons. Thank you for your time guys.