#you scream and cry and then you remake everything three times hoping to find something satisfying to it

[faceglitchsworld]

Keonhee and...pillow Keonhee?

[babyyweebbitch]

Please stay with me — Remake

Soo I reread the one I did before and I wanted to remake it because it wasn’t as good (heres the first one) I hope I can make this one better 😭😭 Also, grab tissues. I made this TOO sad

TW // death ; blood ; funeral ; severe depression & relapse

summary: Chris Redfield and his wife were on a mission a seven months after Piers’ death. His wife has been Captain of their team ever since that day.

Seven months ago Piers Nivans died in order to save Chris’ life and for the BSAA. Chris was still fucked up after that day and he thinks about it almost every day. He took a break from the BSAA since his wife made him. It wasn’t a very long one though, he missed being at work, he missed his coworkers and he missed her

Chris resigned as Captain and let his wife replace him. It was a very emotional day not not only for her and Chris but for the entire BSAA because they’ve never had a woman as Captain before. She was a good captain probably even better than Chris. Despite her height, weight and basically being the youngest on that team at 28. She was undoubtedly the best captain in years

Her team along with Chris were on a mission. Their mission was to take out the enemy, find three hostages and disable the bombs set in the building “Okay men… we’re gonna be splitting into three teams since there’s a lot of us here. Team A; Corey, John and Andrew. Your job is to find out where the bombs are and disable them as quickly as possible.”

“Yes ma’am!” The three went off to do their job as told

“Team B; Phil, Jean and Mark, you’re in charge of finding and getting the hostages to safety out of this building. You three can split up, stay together I don’t care. As long as your job is done”

“Ma’am” the three left

She turned to Eric and Chris who were standing together “what a coincidence, you two are with me.” She said with a slight smile on her face, walking ahead of the two Eric leaned over to Chris “She’s so cool…” Chris thought of Finn the moment he said that, he couldn’t help but to smile and look at him “I know…”

“Stop standing around we have a mission you know!” She yelled out to the two of them. Chris and Eric quickly made their way to the door the enemies were behind, Chris was silent the entire time before he was quickly checked back into reality with a pat on the shoulder “you okay? We need you fully here for this” his wife said as he looked down at her and nodded “yeah I’m okay…”

Chris, his wife and Eric all prepared as the door was blown open and guns were firing. The three did take cover just in time. After about five minutes of gun fire and fighting it finally stopped, thinking they had all the enemies taken care of they all stood up “good job! We did it — Chris!” Y/N called out as she did catch a glimpse of an enemy that didn’t die somehow standing up and pointing their gun towards Chris.

She quickly ran towards Chris and pushed him out the way, for Chris it’s almost like everything was happening in slow motion. He had to process everything leading up to that moment. He heard a scream of pain when his head finally cleared, looking up to see his wife shot in the sternum and Eric shooting the enemy down

She started to fall and Chris caught her before she hit the floor, his eyes started filling up with tears as he looked at her “baby please… tell me this is a joke!”

She knew she was dying, her body felt so cold from the inside out she, she coughed before reaching into one of her many pokes on her pants “c…Chris… do me a favour okay? Please…. stay safe” she handed him her wedding ring, she never wore it during missions to avoid it getting broken, rusted or something. So she held it in her pocket where it was safe “I… feel so… cold”

Chris looked at the ring then at her “no don’t say that! You’re gonna be fine! You’re gonna be fine! Please stay with me!” He started crying, Eric stood by as Team B; Phil, Jean and Mark came in. They surprisingly finished the bomb quicker than expected “Captain w—“ Mark was starting to talk but he quickly stopped when he realised what was happening

“Guys… take care of him for me…” she struggled to talk. She looked up at Chris to see him crying, she lifted her Hand up to his cheek to wipe his tears one last time “no no… don’t cry hon… I’ll tell my parents you said hi… I love you..” Chris held onto her hand and his heart practically stopped the moment he felt her hand and body go heavy and her head fall back … she was dead now

“No…. Please come back! Please don’t go! Y/N!!!” He held her body close and just sobbed, Eric and team B were tearing up and trying to wipe their tears

It took a while to get Chris to let go of her body and let them put her on a stretcher and on the truck so they can go back. When they finally did everyone on the team was there. It took three guys to pry him off of her This was the first time they’ve ever seen him cry like this

—————————

It’s been almost a month since she’s died, Chris looked horrible. He hasn’t shaved, left the house, he started drinking again and Claire had to clean him up at night since he wasn’t sober enough to even do it himself. The house looked like shit especially the room Chris and his wife shared

It was the day of the funeral and Chris was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the picture of him and her on their wedding day back in 2007. He somehow managed to even get up that day and not drink. He showered that morning, got dressed in a suit and did his hair. He still didn’t shave though

Claire came in “Chris? You ready?” She asked. She had on a black dress on “I guess so…” Chris responded. He stood up and placed the picture down on the night stand and grabbed the necklace he had with his wife’s ring on it.

Claire fixed his tie and jacket before they left. Chris was always taking care of her when she was younger so now it was time for her to take care of her older brother “good. Let’s go” Claire let him walk in front of her to the car. She drove because one he couldn’t think straight enough to drive and he was completely hung over from drinking too much

After about a 45 minute drive they arrived to where her funeral was being held at. Everyone they knew was there, Leon, their BSAA team, Her family. It was hard for him to see her brother and sister at their older sisters funeral

The ceremony, the viewing and speeches all happened and Chris barely even got through his speech without crying

(Im so so so sorry for this next part)

Chris’ speech: “Y/N was an amazing person, she always took care of everyone, me, her siblings, our team, Claire… everyone. She put everyone before herself no matter who they were. She joined the BSAA not because of herself because of her parents death in Raccoon City. She promised them she would do something in any way to stop what happened in Raccoon from ever happening again. She treated our team like her family and even the rookies as her kids even if they were a few years younger then her. She was an even amazing person and wife. And I miss her dearly.”

There wasn’t a single dry eye in that room when Chris said his speech. After everything, everyone went inside to eat and talk.

Chris sat with Claire and Y/N’s siblings. He just picked at his food and stared at the plate. He was terrifyingly silent before Leon came over “hey Chris… how are you holding up?” Leon asked as he stared at Chris. He could tell how hard this has affected Chris. “I’m fine…”

“Chris… You need to eat. All you’ve done in the past month was drink, workout and cry… You need to at least eat something” Claire said “she wouldn’t want this… Her or Piers wouldn’t want you to be like this. Y/N would be yelling at you if she saw you picking at your food like this. We both know she would”

Chris’ eyes started to water once again before he spoke “I…. I know.. but I just miss her so much, Claire… we were gonna start a family together… she wanted to have kids and get a bigger house so we can have a big family… now I can’t have one because she’s the only person I wanted a family with…” Chris sighed softly as he wiped his eyes

“I miss her too… we all do…” Leon commented looking down at his plate. Chris eventually ended up eating his food and everyone left to go home. The entire drive home was deafening to the point you can hear a pin drop

When he got home he changed inside a fresh pair of clothes and he started to clean the house, starting with the bedroom and ending in the Kitchen. He cleaned it exactly how she’d like it and when he was finished around 3:32 am he sat on the couch and sighed

They were right… She would yell at him if she saw the way he was, how the house was when she died

—————————

After a few years pass it’s before the entire Village situation. Every week since the funeral Chris visited her grave and just talked to her for a bit. On her birthday he spent almost half the day there, on new year’s he watched the fireworks by your gave.

He still hasn’t moved on since her death he can’t even get into another relationship with a woman since her death but it’s not like he can find anyone else like her… and honestly he didn’t want to.

IM SO FUCKING SORRY FOR MAKING THIS EVEN SADDER tbh tho I started tearing up writing this

[rax-writes]

Enchanted - Part II

Fandom:  The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Pairing:  Caliban x Reader Warnings:  Violence, death + resurrection Notes:  Part I ♥ Here’s part two! Hope you all like it!

Your relationship with Caliban did not remain a secret for long. Your sister was the first to know.

As you jogged over to her at the carnival the following weekend, you said, “Sister, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I know how the Plague Kings’ plan to overthrow you. They’ll be keeping an eye on you for any missteps, and once given probable cause, they will force you and Caliban to embark on a quest to retrieve the Unholy Regalia.”

She was visibly stunned, and understandably so. “That’s great! But how did you find all that out?”

“That would be the bad news.”

As if on cue, Caliban then materialized, and wrapped an arm around your waist – which was immediately noticed by Sabrina.

“What did you rope my sister into?” she snarled at Caliban, but you held up a hand to silence them both before the bickering began.

“Caliban came to me and stated that he wished to court me. I first tried to convince him to end the coup in exchange for courtship, but he explained that even if he wanted to, he is unable to stop the Kings. So, instead, the exchange became useful information for courtship.”

“Mhmm,” Sabrina mused disbelievingly, glaring at the man at your side. “And for how long does she have to date you?”

“The only requirement to fulfill our agreement is a single date, hence our presence at this mortal affair,” Caliban answered, then smiled warmly at you. “After that, the status of our courtship is up to my lady.”

“Oh. Well, that’s not so bad,” Sabrina muttered, then shrugged as she turned to you. “At least you can get this night over with and never have to see him again.”

“In all honesty… I am not entirely opposed to seeing him again,” you admitted hesitantly, and Sabrina’s jaw dropped slightly as her brows furrowed in agitation. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, Sister. For Satan’s sake, have you seen him? He’s more than a little easy on the eyes.”

Caliban chuckled, both at your compliment and your sister’s obvious annoyance. “Come, little dove. Let us explore this fanciful event.”

Though the evening had been a delight, and you enjoyed your time with your date, you couldn’t help but notice that Caliban seemed slightly on edge all night. After the sun had gone down, and you’d surveyed the majority of the carnival, Caliban requested to take you to dinner in a nice restaurant. You agreed, and he thoroughly surprised you by taking you to a quiet, romantic rooftop restaurant in Italy, having remembered you stating that Italian was your favorite food. It was the following morning before you realized that he’d been sensing the impending danger of Herod’s attack. Coincidentally, he had disappeared for a short while during dinner, and although he’d claimed to have gone to the restroom, you learned from Sabrina the following morning that he’d actually returned to Greendale to collect King Herod's crown.

Naturally, the two of you had bickered about him cheating your sister the next time you were together, but his soft lips and skilled hands had done wonders to dissipate your anger. Although you refused to admit it, you were positively hooked from thereon out.

You told yourself that you continued the dates and the trysts simply because it was merely an enjoyable pastime. But in truth, it was because you were slowly falling for the prince. Knowing it was a mistake due to his allegiance to Hell, and his position as the enemy of your sister, created a forbidden nature to the romance, and it only made you crave him more.

Little did you know, Caliban felt the same for you. Your smile set his soul aflame, and your laughter made his chest tighten with affection. The sight of your hair fanned across your pillow, mouth slightly agape in pleasure, was not one he would ever grow tired of. He had fallen well and truly in love with you.

This information was kept secret from one another, because both of you were scared to admit such a thing and risk scaring the other away.

It wasn’t long after your mutual realizations that he met your aunts and Ambrose. Although they were all pleased to have met the object of your affection, and they remained civil with him, it was evident that each member of your family distrusted him, and questioned his intentions with you.

Their distrust turned out to be short-lived.

Immediately following your coven’s Hare Moon celebration, one of the Pagans had developed a very intense dislike for you. All it took was for her to sense that you were a very powerful member of your kind – that is, until your powers faded – and she, being a harpy, notorious for their insatiable hunger and lust for torture, had decided that she would feast upon your witch flesh as her next meal.

It was that evening when she appeared. You had been relaxing on the front porch of the Spellman Mortuary, and at first, you thought she was merely a mortal woman – then her wings spread out from behind her as her glamour faded, bird-like legs sprouted from her torso, and her face became hideous, decayed and rotting. You had instinctively tried to run, but it was futile. After all, harpies were originally thought to be the personification of wind, so it was unsurprising that you were in her clutches before you even made it to the door.

The harpy’s sharp talons dug into your shoulders, and you screamed for help as she launched you into the yard. You fell flat on your back, which knocked the wind out of you, and she was on you again in the blink of an eye. As you felt the most impossibly intense, agonizing pain across your abdomen, you screamed again as you glanced down and realized she had torn you open. She began feasting on your flesh and organs, blood dripping from her claws as she ravaged you.

You were vaguely aware of a horrified scream from Sabrina somewhere behind you. She had just swung open the front door of the Spellman household to see the ghastly scene before her, Aunt Zelda, Aunt Hilda, and Ambrose right behind her. With a roar of pure rage, Ambrose charged at the harpy with his blade drawn, which drew her away from you. Sabrina and Hilda then kneeled beside you, the former with tears in her eyes and a terrified look on her face as she held your hand, and the latter clearly trying to hide her panic as she unsuccessfully attempted to heal you. But your injuries were far too extensive, and your loved ones’ magick was far too weak.

The unmistakable sound of a gunshot pierced through the night air, and you weakly turned your head to see Aunt Zelda holding a shotgun, Ambrose a few feet from your attacker, and the harpy lying dead on the ground. The two then ran over to you, both dropping to their knees at your side, their faces just as solemn and fearful as Sabrina and Aunt Hilda.

It was then, looking upon the panic-stricken faces of your family, that you knew you were going to die.

Darkness began to cloud your vision, and you vaguely heard your sister sobbing, and aunts and cousin begging you to stay conscious, giving you empty promises that they would find a way to fix this, and that everything would be alright. In the midst of all their hysterics, it seemed an idea donned on Sabrina.

“Caliban!” she screamed desperately into the night, her voice breaking from the force as she put behind it.

He appeared instantly, the usual vortex of flames escorting him onto the scene. He opened his mouth, no doubt to make a smug retort to Sabrina’s unceremonious summoning, before his eyes fell on you.

“No,” Caliban whispered in disbelief, still frozen on the spot. Blood poured from your abdomen, and the sight of you torn open and half-dead filled him with a sense of gripping terror and worry he had never before experienced. He ran over to you, skidding to a stop on his knees and gently cradling your head in his hands.

“Do something!” Sabrina begged, a sob raking her body. Caliban panicked for a split second, then a solution came to him. It was a last ditch effort kind of plan, but seeing as your eyes had already drifted shut, and your body was growing colder by the second, he knew that he must do something that would absolutely ensure your survival.

“With a desperate heart and no time to waste, I call upon all three Fates!”

In a cloud of smoke, three hooded figures appeared. Each had clouded eyes, long white hair, and greenish-gray, wrinkled skin.

“Fates, I beseech you to save this woman’s life,” Caliban pleaded.

“In exchange for our aid, you must give up the fate you have been pursuing so fiercely.” The Fates spoke in unison, their voices raspy and eerie. “You must cease your pursuit of the throne of Hell, and no longer seek to make Earth the tenth circle.”

“I shall. Here and now, I end my quest to become King of Hell, and remake the Earth as the tenth circle,” Caliban vowed. The lack of hesitation and conviction in his voice astounded each of the Spellman’s, although that was but a minor thought in the back of their minds at the moment. “Just save the woman I love, please.”

The Fates disappeared without another word in another cloud of smoke, at the same moment that a ragged, desperate gasp tore from your lips. The Spellman’s and Caliban all snapped their eyes back down to you. The fatal wound had been healed, and even your clothing was fixed. You sat bolt upright, as if you’d just been necromanced back to life – and, technically, you had. As you looked around at your loved ones, the realization that you were alive and safe sunk in, and you immediately began to cry.

“I saw Dad. I saw him,” you sobbed pitifully, and your family took you into their arms. You despised how weak you sounded, but seeing your father was something you were entirely unprepared for. Caliban rubbed his palm up and down your back, not wanting to interfere with your familial embrace. Still crying into Auntie Zee’s chest, you explained, “I died. I died and Dad was there waiting for me. He hugged me and told me that he was happy to see me, but it wasn’t my time yet.”

It was several minutes before you were able to compose yourself, although you supposed that was somewhat to be expected for someone who had just died then came back to life. After your aunts wiped your tears, you turned around to look at Caliban.

“I know you had something to do with this. We’re all powerless right now, so that is the only explanation,” you whispered. “What did you do?”

Caliban hesitated a moment, so Ambrose answered for him.

“He called upon the Fates. They demanded that he give up the fate he has been pursuing, in order to save you. So, he vowed to give up the throne of Hell, and said it was to save the woman he loves.”

You looked slowly from Ambrose back to Caliban. He appeared slightly perturbed that Ambrose revealed what he’d said in that moment of fear-fueled vulnerability, but didn’t bother to deny it.

“Caliban… is that true?”

“As I’ve told you before: anything for you,” Caliban answered, giving you a soft smile. You threw your arms around his neck, and he immediately wrapped his around your waist.

“I love you,” you murmured, your face buried in his neck. Caliban held you tightly and pressed a kiss to your temple.

“And I love you, little dove.”

[honeybunnybeez]

Duuuude. Sfw alphabet for Eret or Bad??? Or even Fundy. All very underrated and I need see much content for them -⚰️

SFW alphabet:

C!BadBoyHalo:

♡Reader is Gender Neutral!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Bad is pretty affectionate when it comes to you, almost never leaving your side if he can.

He's very affectionate physically and verbally, clinging to you and giving you kisses while calling you sickly sweet pet names and praising you. Despite what he's supposed to be, he's incredibly adorable and hard to resist.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

The friendship starts after you're introduced to him thanks to Skeppy, who you met first around the server and clicked well with. After getting to know you better and seeing you get along great with Skeppy, he easily accepts you as one of his close friends.

As a best friend he's kinda clingy, often wanting to see you and knowing what you're up to. He also likes to make sure you're okay and comes to visit you often, making sure no one messes with you.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddles are his jam and given the opportunity you two would probably never leave the bed for the whole day. He doesn't have a set cuddling style, though one thing stays the same and it's that he wraps his arms around you pretty tight.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He does seem like the type to want to settle down. It sounds like a very nice thing to do once everything in the server calms down, well, if it ever does calm down.

Domestic life wise, he's pretty decent at it! His best chore is cooking, he makes a pretty good meal when he cooks.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Depending on the situation and what led up to it, I think it'd end on good terms but he would get very emotional while doing so. He would be crying while apologizing and explaining why he feels like a romantic relationship wouldn't work as to not hurt you too severely. He still wants you to be in his life as his best friend though so you two do keep in close contact if you're okay with that.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He is rather loyal and commited to the ones he loves so I think he would get married. Maybe after being together for 6 months or a year would be when he pops the question.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He is very physically and emotionally gentle with you, not wanting to hurt you in any way.

Sure he does tackle hug you in his human form but in his demon form with his tall height he makes sure to treat you like glass if he ever handles or holds you.

Emotionally he doesn't ever want to say mean things to you. He always apologizes profusely (almost crying himself) if you ever get truly upset with something he teased you about.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Loves hugs, the moment he sees you he's running up to give you a big old hug. Hug him back, please. Please, (y/n). Hug him back, he wants you to.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He used to say it quite often back when you two were friends, so there's no exact way to tell when the I love you's started to be genuine.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Lord above, we've seen this man be jealous. He's super jealous when you start to spend more time with others. Can and will blow up your communicator asking you where you are and who you're with. Sometimes Skeppy joins in too half jokingly. If you're with Quackity you bet your ass you're getting dragged somewhere far away from the man.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Loves giving you surprise kisses and half expects you to return the gesture. ESKIMO KISSES! All the eskimo kisses, he loves them. He love giving and receiving eskimo kisses from you so much.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Oh he adores kids quite a bit. Innocent, active and still full of life, he thinks they're precious. Though he can't really handle the spoiled ones, the ones who scream and throw really bad tantrums when they don't get what they want in the supermarket.

I don't think he's capable of having his own kids with his partner (being a demon and all) but he'd like to adopt one or two if you're into that idea. He's had experience raising Sapnap (and he doesn't hate bad's guts as far as I remember) so he's sure he can handle it.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Before you wake up he likes to stare at your peaceful face while you rest. At first you did get a bit surprised when you wake up to see a pair of dimly glowing eyes staring back at you so closely. Now, you just instinctively reach out to give him morning kisses when you wake up.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He holds you in his arms while you slowly drift off to sleep. Sometimes he hums a soft happy tune while playing with your hair as your eyes grow heavy.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Skeppy totally tells you a few of Bad's secrets before you two started dating, only very minor ones though. Other than that, he's a pretty open book and if there was a secret he has he spills pretty easily when you say his name in a dissapointed tone.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Unless you insult him or swear like a sailor on purpose to annoy him, he has a good bit of patience with you and your shenanigans. If you're best friends with Skeppy then you're bound to get into a little bit of trouble.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers things about you quite well. Such as what you like to eat, what your favourite ore is, your schedule, etc.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He loves you and he loves his best friend Skeppy too. He enjoys every moment you guys are all together but his favourite moment was when you three all hung out with one another watching the sunset on the roof of your home. It was all so unsually calm during those few minutes. You 3 totally held hands, just saying.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He knows you can hold your own but even so he does get pretty defensive when others try to threaten you. Will stab a person for you if they really hurt you, no hesitation.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts in a lot of effort to make you and everyone happy! It doesn't always feel like a chore when he's trying to find something you like or helping you around here and there. Anniversaries with him are simple but they're very sweet and memorable.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Oh boy, his clinginess and jealousy does tend to be a bit of a problem. You have to remind him that you need personal time too. He always pouts when you say that and often times you do give in because of it. Though, if you really do need to be somewhere without him, promise to spend your next free day with him and he'll happily agree.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not very concerned, he's aware that he looks a lot different than others but he doesn't think it matters when almost everyone in the server is a different kind of human or hybrid. Everyone's different and that's normal, he thinks.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Sure we know that Skeppy is his whole heart both metaphorically and literally in a sense, but he would be devastated if anything were to happen to you. He would feel like a part of him is missing and it would frustrate and upset him to no end knowing that the missing piece could never be found again.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

In his 9'6 form he will carry you around in his arms like a doll just to tease you. He think you look adorable as you whine and tell him that you aren't a toy to haul around.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He wouldn't like someone who takes advantage of him or does things he doesn't like consistently on purpose. Like, teasing him is fine, he does that too, but don't do what he doesn't like on purpose everytime you see him. He just thinks that's disrespectful even if you were just teasing.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

When he sleep he's absolutely wrapped around you. Laying by your side, arms and legs wrapped around your torso and waist respectively. You are his pillow now and you're being held hostage until he's decided he's satisfied.

A/N: Hey ⚰! Thank you for the request! I have to admit it was a little hard not to make it reference poly!c!skephalo because of how often its referenced that Bad and Skeppy are close to one another. (Someone please give me an excuse to remake this with poly!c!skephalo-) Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed reading this!

(Requests are open and anon is on!)

[deathonyourtongue]

Sanguine Nocturnus | 1

Summary: Even after 2000 years, the world can still surprise you. Pairing: AU!Henry Cavill x OFC Word Count: 2K Warnings: It’s a vampire fic. Death. Blood. Gore. Sex. Horror. Not for the kiddies or the squeamish. I mean it. A/N : I know I said I’d wait. But y’all have been clamoring...

Death has a way of manipulating time. Moments meant to go slowly end in a blink, while junctures that ought to speed past, linger like dew on the vine...

Carla Montanari stared at her mother’s corpse, waiting for her to move. Waiting for the only family she’d ever had to open her eyes and say it was all a joke. Her mother had always had a cutting sense of humor; no topic was off-limits, and as she aged, death was a favored punchline. Now, it seemed, her mother had pulled off the ultimate prank, though Carla failed to see the humor in it.

The mortician had done an excellent job all things considered, but Carla could still pick out the differences between the body that lay at the altar of Saint Vincent’s and the one she had grown up with. A jaw that had been given too much lift, makeup that was a shade or two darker than what her mother normally wore, wrinkles that had disappeared when her face had been sewn back together. She’d been told she was lucky to get an open-casket service at all, given how much trauma her mother had suffered, as if it were some sort of consolation prize.

Looking behind her, Carla did a headcount of those in attendance, smiling softly when she saw that her mother’s bingo group were all in attendance, each woman donning their Sunday best in order to pay their respects. What her mother lacked in family, she’d more than made up for in friends who were all cut from the same cloth. Good, salt-of-the-earth people. Carla had always envied how easily her mother made friends, how she could chat up anyone, no matter how different their background and find something in common. It was a skill she hadn’t passed down, leaving her daughter to carve out a small handful of friends who were more acquaintances than anything else. 

Crossing herself, Carla took a deep breath, looked down at her mother once more, and finally leaned down to kiss the cold, clammy skin of her forehead, doing her best to ignore the faint waft of formaldehyde that filled the casket. A solitary white rose tucked beneath her mother’s hands was Carla’s final act before turning away. 

Time blinked, and she found herself seated across from her mother’s lawyer, a slab of mahogany separating them, the coffee she’d been offered growing cold as the AC hit it from overhead.

“I suppose we can do away with formality, since it’s just you,” the older man said, his smile tight and distant. Carla nodded, feeling as though the man wanted to be done so he could attend to other, more important, matters. 

“Your mother left all her possessions and accounts to you, no surprise there. She gifted her friends each an item from her apparently extensive purse collection, so we’ll facilitate that for you. The accounts are all in order, and what isn’t used to pay off her final bills, will be transferred to your account by the end of the month. Lastly, there’s the matter of the inheritance. This may be news to you, but your grandmother set up an inheritance in your name when you were born. Initially, it was meant to pay for college, but when you got your full ride, your mother decided to keep it going until her passing. Her hope was to give you a nice nest egg for retirement, or your first house...something to that effect.” 

Carla looked down at the document, counting and recounting the total in disbelief. Her mother had always been terrible at keeping secrets, having given away things to her friends that had mortified Carla when she was younger. 

Guess you were better at it than I thought.

Inhaling deeply, Carla sat back in her chair, hoping the meeting was over. The quicker she could get out into the fresh air, the better off she’d be. 

“There’s one more thing,” her mother’s lawyer said, keeping Carla rooted to her seat even as the muscles in her legs twitched in readiness to stand up. “Your mother wanted to ensure you were aware of the fact that you have legal claim to Italian citizenship, if you should ever choose to take it. They call it Jure Sanguinis; Right of Blood. The process can be expedited, given that you’re only second generation American. Sign here and we can get it in motion for you.” 

Carla signed blindly, eyes unblinking as she tried to process the information. Her mother had always been a planner, but had never once mentioned so much as a will to Carla. Now, seeing everything packaged up so neatly, her mind spun wildly.

“Think you know a person…” She muttered mostly to herself, the lawyer giving her another one of his performative smiles, his eyes going to his watch for what must have been the tenth time in as many minutes. 

Leaving the office with a folder and the untouched coffee, Carla couldn’t help but feel time begin to crawl, reinforcing the feelings of numbness and solitude that would haunt her for weeks to come.

Working steps from Wall Street had its perks. Tips were usually far more generous than in other parts of town, fights were rare, and drunk girls crying over their shitty boyfriends were nonexistent. None of that made it any easier, however. Frat boys turned into day traders, socialites grew even more entitled as their brunches turned into botox appointments, and there was never a shortage of patronizing stares for those that had to actually work for a living. For Carla, navigating the catcalls, one-liners, and straight-up sexual misconduct was easy enough; it was the entitlement that never failed to get under her skin. 

“Um, hello? Waitress? This is wrong. I asked for a Negroni.” Looking up, Carla swept her long black hair over her shoulder as she processed the words that were spoken. Having decided to keep living life as though things hadn’t irrevocably changed, Carla was doing her best to ignore the stress that had been slowly creeping higher and higher each day. Busy nights at the bar were proving the worst, with Carla coming through the door at the end of her shift ready to rant about the night to her mother, only to find the place pin-drop silent and utterly empty. 

Looking down at the drink, Carla gazed back up at the woman with the blond, news anchor hair and cocked her head to the side in confusion. 

“That is a Negroni.” 

“Uh,” the woman snorted in disbelief, “no it’s not. Remake it, and do it right this time.” 

“This is a Negroni. One part gin, sweet vermouth, and Campari each, with a peel of lemon.” The woman laughed condescendingly and Carla could feel her patience start to disappear. 

“No, a Negroni, if you knew anything about bartending--which you clearly don’t--is made with Rye and dry vermouth.”

“Lady, I make at least ten of these a night. I work six nights a week. You’re the first, and only, person to ever tell me it’s wrong. You’re thinking of an Old Pal, and I’d be more than happy to make that for you, but this? This is a Negroni, which is what you asked for.”

“Fine, we’ll see about that.” The woman huffed, her manicured hand slicing through the air in a dismissive motion. 

“That’ll be $10.99.”

“Absolutely NOT! I’m not paying for your mistake. Make it again, make it right, and make it now!” The woman crowed, her hair imobile as she shook her head, looking for all the world like Carla had slapped her.

“It’s a different drink. You paid for a Negroni, you got a Negroni. You want an Old Pal, you pay for an Old Pal.” Carla replied, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for the woman to make up her mind. 

The alcohol burned Carla’s eyes and she stumbled back in shock, moving towards the large sink she knew was behind her on pure instinct. Washing her face to get as much of the cocktail off as she could, she knew she’d reached her breaking point. 

Any other time and she’d have brushed it off, had security kick the woman out and gone about her night. Now? She’d had enough. Moving slowly to the back, Carla took off her apron, hung it up next to her coworkers’ and slipped out the back door. 

Nearly sprinting the whole way home, it was only as she stepped through the door of her apartment that the tears came unbidden. Sliding down the wall, Carla cried for the first time since her mother’s passing. 

The next morning, after calling in her notice, Carla allowed herself a day to simply be. To scream, to cry, to let out all the emotions that had befallen her since answering the phone that fateful night and hearing that her mother had died in such a vicious and preventable way. She let rage fill every vein as she thought about how the person who hit her hadn’t even bothered to stay at the scene. She lamented every missed moment, every fight, every what-if. Finally, she curled up in her mother’s robe, and cried herself to sleep.

Knowing she couldn’t handle another day at a bar like the one on Wall Street, catering to bratty adults who’d never been told no a day in their lives, Carla began leaning more and more towards escaping it all. Her now-empty apartment, her routine assortment of familiar faces (none of whom had even bothered to call and offer condolences), and more than anything, the city itself; all of it seemed worthless and foreign without her mother’s smiling face. As she sat and scrolled through picture after picture on her phone, the promise of a new life in Italy seemed more feasible, and more and more necessary.

On day three, after a day spent mostly in bed, dreaming about the possibilities of what life could bring now that she was committed to leaving, Carla put in a call to the lawyer, vaguely remembering the document she’d signed. There was nothing but relief when she was told they were simply waiting for a few more documents to finalize it all. 

With the foundation for her new life in place, Carla began to flesh out the bones, focusing her research on where to live, and who was hiring. Though the inheritance was enough to live comfortably for several years, Carla didn’t want to squander it. Moreover, she still wanted to work and feel useful in some way; early retirement could wait.

While she was spoilt for choice when it came to renting, a job was harder to come by. Carla started her search with the lofty goal of finding something where she could put her history degree to good use; a research assistant, a curator, hell, a tour guide. When it became clear that her lack of experience was a hurdle she wouldn’t be able to cross so easily, Carla reluctantly turned to what she knew. 

Weeks went by like thick molasses as she looked at bar after bar, finding that they either weren’t hiring, or looked like the kind of place people went into and never came out of. Her options were narrow to start with, since Carla had her heart set on Rome, the need to entrench herself in one of the world’s oldest cities, one she couldn’t possibly ignore. With each day that passed, she felt her dream beginning to slip away. Carla was nothing if not tenacious, one of the few traits she’d shared with her mother, and despite feeling discouraged at her prospects, she kept looking.

Finally, as the clock nearly ran out on her deadline to provide proof of employment, Carla found the perfect spot. Though the bar catered to a higher-end clientele, gone were the stockbrokers and lawyers, and in their place, a younger, cooler set. Attracted to the dark, almost feral, atmosphere the bar promised in its advertising, Carla applied, crossing her fingers in the hopes that they’d call. 

She was still browsing the site when her phone rang and the owner greeted her in a thick, Italian accent. Breezing through the interview questions, Carla’s eyes roved over the pictures of all the beautiful people that frequented the night spot, pulled in by how effortlessly cool each of them looked. With the promise to call her by the end of the week to confirm the position, the owner ended the call, and it was all Carla could do not to jump for joy. 

Flopping back on the bed, she couldn’t help but let herself feel true happiness, happiness which she’d unconsciously been denying herself while she mourned her mother’s death. Though she’d been dealt a life-changing blow, Carla felt as though, slowly but surely, time was going back to its usual pace, and her life was taking a turn for the better. 

With a smile from ear to ear, she sat back up and emailed the lawyer, confirming she’d gotten a job, an apartment, and a plane ticket to Rome. As the message zipped away and the window closed, Carla found her eyes drawn back to the website, and her new place of employment. 

Romulus

[life-rewritten]

GIANTS OF BL 2021 AKA SHOWS LINED UP FOR GMMTV THAT WE WON’T STOP SCREAMING ABOUT!

Is there a way I can get over the addiction of BLS? Apparently not because GMMTV came and slapped me across the face for ever thinking I could. Like what even was that conference? I came in like yeah I've heard the rumours. 6 BLs! LOL, you're kidding, like nothing I'd want would even happen. But I still made a list of everything I wanted from them and held that checklist in my mind and boy was I shocked! I ended up just on the floor, brain exploded, mind shut down and can you believe I was crying? Like why on earth was I crying for GMMTV BLs? Crazy right? I am absolutely left floored, I'm going to be crying as I write this by the way just so you know, I've got my heart full ready to burst, talking about the change we've seen in BLs this year, the journey, the growth; there's still some work to do, but GMMTV said they were also part of that, they were going to change and make us stay, wanting more. They did that in a 3-hour conference. My brain is ready, my mind is prepared, my heart is available for all these shows, and I can't wait to see what 2021 unfolds. Let's begin screaming:

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows?

THE NICE SURPRISES

BAKERY BOYS

Genre/Themes: Thriller, Bromance, Mystery, Psychological, Drama, Friendship, BL? (The manga is), Baking

Verdict: You know I love Antique when immediately I see that Foie's hands shaking as he has to be one of the waiters in the cafe, reminds me back to another favourite bodyguard of mine doing so. I was in shock; One because Antique was one of my first Korean 'BL' movies I saw, with all my favourite actors, an unusual and intriguing plotline and I ate it up; all of it. I didn't like how censored it was and the weird open ending for the relationship in the show. But I couldn't care less, something about it made me happy. I just loved the characters I think, and I enjoyed seeing our 4 bakers become friends and find a weird found family with each other. Add in a mystery to why Joon’s character wanted to kill himself and hated cakes? And I was sold. Now GMMTV is making a remake for it, and SINGTO is playing my favourite gay baker. Like I am so happy with this. Do I expect this to blow my mind? No. Do I expect more BL? A little? I'm not sure like GMMTV could make Antique a BL if they want to, Korea hinted to it, Japan ignored it in anime and others, but Thailand could change that. I'm not holding hopes for it, but I love this cast just as much as I love the Korean Cast like Lee Thanawat is perfect for this role, Singto is greater (I just love him so much) and we even have Pleum and Foei?? Are you kidding me? Greatness. It's going to be fun to see what they do with the mystery—something I greatly liked in the movie. Let's hope it's more fleshed out in the tv show. So excited!

Ratings: 3.5/5 I mean it's not really a BL so it'll feel queer baity for me and I may end up being annoyed it, but I really do have fond memories of the Korean movie, so I want to be excited, and the cast is everything so we'll see.

FISH UPON THE SKY

Genre: Unrequited Love, Comedy, Romance, Rivalry, Haters to Lovers, 

Verdict: 

DID SOMEONE SAY JITTIRAIN: THEORY OF LOVE? 2GETHER??? Sorry for screaming but like what else am I meant to do. Theory of love is my ultimate BL show, one of it anyway, one of the reasons will be discussed even more later with another show, but this is not about them. Also, 2gether is like one of the biggest BLs ever right now. Jittirain is genius, she has this ability to make you feel for her characters, root for their love stories whilst throwing plot twists everywhere. I also like that she always has a focus; theory of love, we had film theory, 2gether we had music, and now we have Fish Upon the Sky, and we have?

 Medicine? Love rivalry? Honestly, I don't know, the title even makes me feel even weird; what the hell does Fish upon a sky mean? But who cares it's a Jittirain classic, comedy, pain, longiiiing, and unrequited love, and scheming to get unrequited loves requited, more side couples and secretive characters. This time we have PHUWIN (had to emphasise that because he's impressive people stop sleeping on him!), one of my favourite youngins, showing up and becoming our main Pi and we have Pond a newbie, who has charisma for days, and he plays Mork, and they are love rivals. Wait what? A love story between two people who fall for each other after chasing after one guy? I'm ready for this, the haters to lovers, the pain of unrequited longing, but hold on it seems like a plot twist! Seems like we have another oblivious protagonist on our hand aside from Tine in 2gether, Pi can't even see that Mork isn't chasing after the same person as him, but for he's chasing after him! Sarawat scheming activated! I'm expecting giggles, chemistry and a great story. And it's going to be great because it's Jittirain. 

Ratings: 4.5/5 It's not anything new but do I need to repeat my self? Theory of love pining and longing and emotions mixed with 2gether's secrecy, scheming and obliviousness? It's going to be great. The cast is also excellent, I have total faith in this show, better be a good director though (oh no nightmares from the last half of 2gether has returned). 

FINDING ENCHANTE

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Harem, Mystery, 

Verdicts: 

Enchante that means nice to meet you aww. Wow, now I know French. Yay now where do I sign up to be like Theo and have 5 men chasing after me? Actually, that sounds like a nightmare, and I don't have time for that. He does apparently. Guess what guys! I knew I had a feeling in my gut when I watched this drama, I felt the memories, the intuition, the clues, hitting my brain, and I realised why. This show is also written by My gear and your gown's writer. YES! You mean more mystery and subtext filled storytelling, a show where I can analyse the character dynamics, and find clues to piecing the story together??? Perfection. As much as My gear and your gown wasn't everything to me, it was everything to me when I analysed it, I have fun with this writer's works when directed properly her works have great potential to be one of the best. I love GMMTV giving new actors the time to shine, and choosing stories that make my mind start working again. Thank you. 

With this show we're having a love Simon flashbacks with our Simon being sent secret messages through a book by Enchante, he's sweet, caring and totally all about making our lead comfortable. Who could he be?

 The best friend who's totally pining from afar and playing off his feelings like its nothing?  My gut is already saying that Tine definitely wants it to be him (so again requited but they don't know trope? you've got me!)

Is it the playboy guitar extraordinaire played by GAWIN you heard me right GAWIN my Mork in Dark Blue Kiss!! Like what? Where've you been boy? He looks so great in this, by the way, he's a tease, likes to play our lead's feelings, and has chemistry because they're haters to lovers.  

Or is it FLUKE PUSIT?? What even is this cast how is it both my favourite actors are here? Anyways Fluke is an artist, he wants our lead to let him in so he can draw him, our lead is his muse apparently, and again chemistry that makes your head hurt because like who is this damn Enchante?? Who will Theo choose? 

Anyways we then have two people who I don't know that well sorry, Boom is the football captain that likes our lead and is always protecting him, and the other is a genius/nerd? Who helps Theo with his studies? Like wow, it must be great to be Theo, guys from different lifestyles and aesthetics have found him, they want him, they need him and one of them he wants and needs. I wonder who it is. 

Ps people already thinking it's the best friend, not me, I think bestie is obviously endgame Tine is definitely also secretly wanting him to be with that pining and longing (I'm sure it's why he wants to find enchante desperately). I can't wait to see why these two refuse to let each other know how it feels. All I beg for is, please don't let New direct this. Guess what it's produced by X (Theory of Love! Hold on while I cry again) and Film! (Also theory of love!) Oh, this is going to be brilliant!

Ratings: 4.5/5 This drama is probably going to be the most underrated because people have other things to care about I don't blame you, but I think for me, this would be a same favourite way I loved MGYG and I'm ready for new faces, Gawin and Fluke and a requited but they don't know it angsty love story plus I know the directing is going to be amazing!. Ps, I actually hate harems, but the excitement is in figuring out who on earth is Enchante and why this is happening! 

THE BIG BOYS

GMMTV decided to not let me rest next year. How is it that I already felt happy by seeing Phuwin, Gawin, Fluke etc... I was content you know, I was like great we have a great line up I'm excited now I don't think there's anything else I secretly want that will happen. I'm being a clown, BUT NO. EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR: EVERYONE I WANTED TO SEE, EVERY TROPE I WANTED, THE DIRECTOR, THE PLOTS, EVERYTHING WAS MANIFESTED BY THESE THREE TRAILERS. That's why I ended up crying.  Because even till this day I can't believe this is real. I don't know when I'll finally think they will be real in 2021. Crying again!

NOT ME 

Genre: Gang, Mafia, Crime, Romance, Drama, Stolen Identity, Twins, Angst

Not me? Not you? Not us? See how my mind scrambles when it comes to this show. Because I was determined to not be a clown and believe in this even when I saw OFF GUN hold onto each other on the motorbike I was like HA, nope they're just guest stars, when I saw them as gang members I was like HA; interesting probably not BL. When I saw two Guns, I was like HA, nice Gifted character flashback but still not BL. I won't fall for it,  this is a BAIT! You get me? BAIT!! Don't fall for it and then GMMTV was like shut up here's a kiss. And then I broke down and cried. Because it was a journey. 

Remember when I said Theory of Love was my favourite? It's because of these two; OffGun is everything, my favourite BL couple on screen, my favourite fanservice couple, everything. I thought that the end of theory of love meant I won't be seeing them for a while, they'd be in other series separate, they'd not want to be typecasted. Gun would go for serious roles, Off will choose more het romantic comedies, don't blame them. Still, I didn't think I'd see them again, and I wasn't sure I wanted to see them in another university setting. I set my mind on only seeing them in fan meetings and side projects, I'd made up my mind to miss them. And then NOT ME happened, and now I'm crying just at the thought;

This isn't a cringy, comedic, cheesy BL. 

This isn't set in University.

This isn't'  unrequited pining from Gun to Off.

Gun is Dark! I repeat Gun went Dark he became a gang leader determined to break the law, called Black and Off; OFF went serious and he's Gun's right-hand man called Sean, and I'm just like wait is this real?? We're getting dark, gritty OFF GUN??? Are you serious?? See?? still can't believe it, and it's BL??? What is this? Christmas?? Like how did we get this, who came up with this idea THANK YOU SO MUCH. 

I thought nothing could beat theory of love for me and now OffGun came back and said HA you thought. I have a lot of feels about this, I will never stop screaming, I've rewatched that youtube trailer now for about more than 20 times, I'm not even kidding you, every day it's on repeat, I'm just ready, ready to write, to scream, to talk about this in so much detail. Let's get a plot that's deep, thrilling and mysterious, let's get a romance that is interesting, angsty but also sweet, let's get acting that is full of range, that will break my heart but fix it together again, let's get chemistry that would make me forget everything else. I'm ready for this. I've never been more ready!

Ratings: 5/5 What were you expecting? I can't even rate this anything else, nothing about this is worrying; even the director I trust she's also worked with Gun before in another movie of his, she respects LGBTQ, and she wants to make a great BL. I just can't believe this is real. 2021 come faster, I beg you. 

BAD BUDDY 

Genre: Forbidden romance, Haters to Lovers, Romance, Comedy, Opposites attract, Angst, Friends to Lovers, 

Verdict: 

You thought my screaming would be over. But no. GMMTV wasn't done with me yet. It's like it knew I was mourning from my lack of Ohm Pawat after rewatching He's coming to me (review here) and it knew I had just finished watching Gifted Graduation and felt slighted to see my opportunity at seeing Nanon as a BL character being taken from me with that finale. GMMTV knew I was empty without them and decided to mock me, and put me back together by making OHM NANON in a series together,. 

Again the same process as Not me; I started laughing when I saw the trailer like a mad person. I was like this is clearly a queer bait bromance, HA, not falling for it GMMTV almost got me this time, but then there were the stares, the Romeo and Juliet energy, the sneaking into each other's rooms, the becoming secret friends despite being haters to lovers, the skinship, the intimacy, and then the jealousy, the pining, the longing, the are we just friends scene??? WAIT, WHAT IS THIS?? Why is AOF directing this (same director of ALL my favourite BLS), what is this GMMTV? 

Nanon wouldn't be in a BL we know this, we've been clowns, but we accepted this with defeat, why is he now saying he's doing one because of the cast? THIS IS A BL? NOT BAIT? NOT A TRICK? BY AOF? WHATTTTTTT???? see my mind exploded. 

Since then it hasn't still comprehended this. This is insane, do you know how good, how genius, how amazing Nanon and Ohm Pawat is?? Do you see the power this holds? The fact it's directed by Aof who's like one of the best directors ever in GMMTV??? Do you even know what this means? For this GENRE??? Sorry, I have to scream. I still can't believe this! This is something someone would say, and we'd laugh it of as a joke like yeah right, in your dreams, but it's real, and it looks absolutely amazing, is it a university setting YES, so what? This is everything, with haters to lovers but not really, to Romeo and Juliet pining and longing, to the chemistry that takes your breath away. To just Ohm and Nanon in a screen together being in love. Yep, you guessed it my mind is never goanna be whole again after this breakdown. Guess what I'm okay with it. 

Ratings: 5/5 OhmNanon, Aof that's it. That's the post.

A TALE OF A THOUSAND STARS

 Genre/Themes: Military, Romance, Comedy, Drama, Heart Transplant, Unrequited Love, Fish out of water, 

Verdict:

 And we come to this big one here. You see it? It screams 2021 show of the year to me, it screams incredible plot and romance to me, it screams unique and exciting BL to me. Guess what? It's also by Aof. Ha. It took me a year to accept this is happening because when the trailer came out, I knew that with this cursed genre that this was too good that there'd probably be some kind of issue with it. But did it matter? No! Because this was real. Earth and Mix were in a BL together, and it looks so amazing, so great, and it's coming in less than 3 months. I'm going to cry. And it means everything; because there's a hint of character dynamics, angst and also haters to lovers. I see the chemistry, the production, the plot, the actors, and I just feel so ready for this show that I have no other words to say except I love it, I love it, I love it!. 

Ratings: 5/5 It's taken years, but I'm ready for this, I just want the trailer now, I want the show now, I want 2021 to start now. This is definitely a giant for sure, it's everything, and I can't wait for it. 

After screaming at everything; 2021 starting with ATOTS is already a sign, we're in for a great year with so many incredible changes in this genre. GMMTV isn't messing around, with subs in their event to show international fans are no longer forgotten and are heard and respected, with actors that have made their way into my heart and refuse to leave, and I'm just so happy. It may seem so extreme to be this excited for a BL series to be good, but I love this genre, I love seeing what it represents to so many people, I love the interesting storylines, the discussions you can have for days because of it, the tears, angst, and happiness you feel. But most of all I love how BL has brought out writing from me, I'm happy when I analyse this genre, I'm delighted discussing real-life links and conversations derived from it, I'm so glad learning and humbling my self and opening my mind to new things. BL has been a source of excitement, shock and happiness this year. I can't for next year to be even more splendid, and with this line-up, it's going to be even more than that. It's going to break the world. Can't wait. 

[robininthelabyrinth]

Three Gates - on ao3 (for content warnings check Ao3) - on tumblr: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9, pt 10

- Chapter 11 -

Nie Mingjue was fond of saying that all plans ended when the battle began, and all things left to chance would immediately default to the worst possible option, and Meng Yao found the statement to be true: it went from bad to worse almost immediately.

They received an invitation, if one could call it that, demanding that they send a direct disciple of the junior generation to the Nightless City for what was euphemistically called ‘education’ – and of course the only direct disciples of any generation were Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang, respectively, Meng Yao having become a regular disciple the way all the cousins were. And since obviously Nie Mingjue couldn’t go, that meant –  

They were going to have to send Nie Huaisang.

Nie Mingjue, of course, was of the view that the only choices for a response were between “fuck you” and “fuck you and your mother”, but even he knew they weren’t actually ready for a full-fledged war with the Wen sect. For all their careful years of preparation, a war machine took time to get going; they would need to buy time to consolidate their efforts and to build a wall that the Wen sect would not be able to breach.

“They probably won’t slaughter us all at once, all of us from all the sects,” Nie Huaisang said, his fingers nervously running up and down his fan. “Right?”

Meng Yao nodded, and Nie Huaisang’s shoulders relaxed a little. “Well at least they won’t make me practice saber too much,” he offered, trying to lighten the mood.

“You’re not taking your saber,” Nie Mingjue snapped, and even Meng Yao turned to stare at him at that. “They’ll seize every sword and saber the second you walk in, claiming to keep it until you’ve done well enough to earn them back – that’s fine for the other clans, since their swords aren’t spiritual weapons the way our sabers are, but as far as I’m concerned no Nie saber will ever voluntarily enter the hands of the Wen sect. Go to the forges and have them remake a practice saber to look like Aituan; you can take that instead, and if they ask questions about why you don’t wield it right, pretend it’s your weak cultivation.”

It was a good idea, actually, albeit one that Meng Yao wished hadn’t been said in front of Wu Bixian, but luckily there wasn’t much of a window between receiving the Wen sect’s demand and receiving the Lan sect’s urgent cry for help – as anyone might have expected, Nie Mingjue immediately abandoned all reason and insisted on going there personally to help.

“If you must go, take only a small force; we can do the most good where we can be most helpful, while still fooling the Wen sect into thinking we are weak and unprepared,” Wu Bixian advised, and Nie Mingjue scowled at him, dislike of the idea written all over his face, but then Meng Yao spoke up in favor of that approach as well, and Nie Mingjue listened to him as he always did.

Sometimes Meng Yao wished he wouldn’t.

By the time they arrived, the Library Pavilion was alight, as were any number of other buildings; Meng Yao only hoped that Lan Wangji had managed to get the rest of his sect to believe his message in time to do some good.

He hoped Lan Xichen was nowhere nearby – that he had escaped.

That he didn’t have to see this happen to his beloved home.

Nie Mingjue was barking out orders left and right, Meng Yao darting around to try to make himself useful – Chiwen could be used to fight, of course, and often was, but Meng Yao knew his strengths; he was better off flying around to help direct or rescue people, especially since he could always pick up an extra sword lying around to fight with, utilizing Wen or Jin or even Jiang and Lan styles that he’d picked up over time.

He killed some, commanded others…he hated it.

He hated war.

How had Nie Mingjue dealt with this? While Meng Yao sat at home, devising logistics with a cold and unfeeling eye, Nie Mingjue put himself in each battlefield, Baxia at his side, wading through the blood and muck to win victory for them…

When Meng Yao got home, he would have to do something very nice for him to show his appreciation.

Meng Yao figured that would be it, that they’d get out as many people as they could before being forced to retreat – the Wen sect forces were even larger than he’d anticipated, and he’d anticipated being vastly overwhelmed – but somewhere in the smoke and ash and screams Wu Bixian found him and grabbed him by the elbow.

“Come with me,” he said. “We have a limited amount of time.”

“To do what?” Meng Yao demanded, sick and tired of Wu Bixian and figuring that the heat of battle would serve as an explanation for his uncharacteristic vehemence. “What’s left to do? The Wen sect will be victorious beyond telling: the Lan sect has largely fled where they can, Lan Wangji has already been captured – they broke his leg –”

No Lan Xichen in sight, though, and Meng Yao could only hope that he was safe, wherever he was.

“The second young master Lan is a worthy prize, but there are even better ones,” Wu Bixian said. “How long can Qinghe refuse to bow before Qishan Wen if it has no master to lead it?”

Meng Yao’s back went cold. “Now? You must be mad; you can’t capture Nie Mingjue here. There are a million pathways in and out of the Cloud Recesses, now that the wards have come down – even if you did catch him, he’d only escape, and then where would you be? Your cover blown, with nothing to show for it –”

“I’m the one in charge of this task,” Wu Bixian snapped, his voice taut with tension. “Your role is just to listen and obey –”

“You mean you’re messing up this task. If Sect Leader Wen wanted him captured here, he would have come up with a better plan –”

Wu Bixian laughed. It was an ugly sound, sneering, and Meng Yao stopped at once, hearing it. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to,” Wu Bixian said. “You want to save him up so that you can use him later, don’t you? You want to trade him in for a reward. You know what Sect Leader Wen wants…”

And so do you, Meng Yao thought, and everything took on a tint of red in a way that suggested that Chiwen’s rage was starting to seep back the wrong way through their bond, their rage becoming one in a way that was highly dangerous. You know – no. You knew. You’ve always known.

Somehow Meng Yao had deceived himself into thinking that Wu Bixian must not have known about Wen Ruohan’s abnormal interest in Nie Mingjue, that he had been corrupted by a desire for power or riches or something like that, but that he hadn’t really known.  

Wu Bixian was one of the previous generation, one of Lao Nie’s contemporaries; he married in before Nie Mingjue was even born. He would have seen him grow up, known him as the child he had been and the man he’d grown up into, and despite all of that he knew what Wen Ruohan wanted, knew and didn’t care, and maybe he had even aided and abetted some of the incidents that Meng Yao had had to so strain himself to interrupt or misdirect or stop.

“Well, I won’t have it,” Wu Bixian said, and bared his teeth. “You won’t get the chance to sell him. Qinghe Nie won’t be disgraced like that! It deserves better than that – better than that abomination that has been taking up the seat of sect leader. I told Lao Nie when he was born to put him aside, strangle him in his crib before he had a chance to bring shame upon us, but he wouldn’t listen –”

Meng Yao actually took a step backwards from sheer shock. “What are you talking about?”

He’d always known there were nasty things said about Nie Mingjue behind his back, mostly comments about him having been raised without a mother or just the usual cruel things that people say about children they have reason to dislike, but he’d never heard anyone call Nie Mingjue an abomination.

That was a word for people like him, sons of whores too poor to command their own fate, not for true-born sons of the gentry –

Not for Nie Mingjue.

Wu Bixian sneered at him. “They covered up the horoscope as best as they could, but they couldn’t hide his face, that ridiculous height or that even more ridiculous talent – look at you, you’re surprised. You thought Sect Leader Wen wanted him for something as simple as lust?”

“What does his height have to do with anything?” Meng Yao asked, utterly at sea. He could see jealousy over his talent, even envy for his features, but Wu Bixian wasn’t jealous. He was – he was protective, he saw Nie Mingjue as a threat to the Nie sect, the fervor of the converted burning in his eyes. “I don’t –”

“He’s a furnace,” Wu Bixian said, and Meng Yao took another step backwards, the shock expelling the breath from him as effectively as a hit to the stomach. “A yang furnace, as opposed to the more common yin furnace you find in women, but a furnace is a furnace, in the end; he was born for dual cultivation, and that’s all he’ll ever be good for. All of that talent, all of that cultivation, what’s the point? It won’t do him any good; it’ll all belong to the man or men that claim him – why do you think Sect Leader Wen has been so patient all these years? The occasional impatience aside, he’s been waiting for him to grow ripe like a farmer waiting for the harvest.”

He laughed, his voice harsh. “Well, I won’t have it. I won’t see my Nie sect disgraced like that, with the whole world knowing that our ‘leader’ will be eking out the rest of his miserable existence on his knees or his back for whoever’s come to take advantage – it was one thing when he was younger, when he would have only been disgraced and cast aside for a new son, but now…? No. Sect Leader Wen will get his victory over the cultivation world, which is what he really wants, and he’ll get Nie Mingjue’s head on a pike, but that’s all. That’s all he’s ever going to get.”

The fervor of the converted indeed. Lao Nie hadn’t cared about his son’s unusual constitution – he’d cared too little, even, thinking that he’d hidden the truth when in fact he was sold out by one he trusted – but Wu Bixian cared; he didn’t want the Nie clan to lose face, he didn’t want to risk the disgrace. He had betrayed the Nie sect to the Wen sect to avoid it –

He would kill Nie Mingjue to ensure it.

Meng Yao knew what he had to do.

“And you, you miserable leech, are not going to stop me just because you want the gain for yourself,” Wu Bixian said, and turned to lead the way towards Nie Mingjue’s last known location. “Of course someone like you’d think it’d be better to sell him than to kill him; you don’t understand honor at all, don’t understand face – you’re only part of our Nie sect through by your mother’s tricks. Of course you think that everything comes down to a deal to be made, something to be sold, you’re just what your blood says you are, a fatherless son of a whore –”

Meng Yao drove Chiwen into his back.

“Meng Yao!”

Meng Yao turned and saw Nie Mingjue, who must have realized he’d lost sight of Meng Yao and come to find him to make sure he hadn’t gotten hurt.

Nie Mingjue’s eyes travelled from Wu Bixian, choking out blood as he died, down the length of Chiwen and to Meng Yao’s hand that held him: his eyes were wide and horrified, confused, even betrayed –

Meng Yao had never told him what he was planning with Wen Ruohan. He hadn’t wanted him to worry. He’d known how much even the mention of the man disrupted Nie Mingjue’s sleep; he’d known that he would reject any plan that involved putting Meng Yao in danger.

He’d thought he’d have time to explain.

He’d thought – well. He hadn’t thought that Nie Mingjue would find him with his saber in the back of his own commanding officer in the middle of a battle, one of the few crimes that Nie sect law called to be met with immediate execution or else at absolute minimum immediate expulsion from the sect.

“Trust me,” Meng Yao said, a plea more than an order, and then he turned and fled.

[thdorkmagnet]

Light of the Sun and Stars Chapter 45: Quest for Love (and a Sandwich) (Preview)

Summary: His whole life Marco Diaz has been raised by monsters, living under the cruel rule of their leader, Toffee. But one day Marco escapes into Mewni where he meets a magical princess and Mewman like himself, who begins teaching him all about her world. Together they will learn about life, love, and the lights within each of them, as they change their world forever.

Chapter Synopsis: The time has finally come for Tom to confess his feelings to Janna! But when he struggles to form words around her, he asks Marco for help and the solution they come up with is... less than expected. Let’s just say it involves a sandwich. 

Check out my other stuff on Fanfiction!

Index

“Finally, after all this time, I can reveal my greatest dish,” Kelly whispered dramatically. She had given the entire worthless kitchen staff the day off so she could work in peace and not have to worry about greedy chefs trying to steal her secret recipe out from underneath her. She had only been working at the castle for a few weeks and had already learned how many of them had the same strive and ambition she did, just too inexperienced and lazy to pull it off. She had already started to whip them into shape though, they had stopped crying every time she yelled at them at least. So that was decent progress.  

“Are you sure?” Marco asked, staring down at the boiling pot in awe, the lid covering the contents inside, the hooded teen beginning to doubt if he was ready to face what lay within. “What if it’s too soon?” 

Kelly shook her head, her brow furrowed in concentration. “No. This is it, Marco. But I need you to be ready in case something goes wrong. Can I count on you to be my sous chef?” She turned to him with a grim look, waiting to hear his response. 

The boy nodded vigorously, putting on his best game face. “Yeah. I’m ready, Kelly.” 

“Good,” the green-haired girl responded, slipping on an oven mitt and placing it firmly on the handle of the lid. “Then, here we go!”

Both her and Marco simultaneously slipped on large metal masks to help shield their sensitive faces. Kelly also placed a smaller one over her snoozing boyfriend Tad, who was asleep in her hair as usual. She made sure the mask was down over his face so she wouldn’t have to worry about him catching fire. The two teens then shared a masked look with each other an unspoken trust passing between them before Kelly ripping the lid off the boiling pan. 

A layer of hot steam rose off of the boiling mess inside: red, hot mist that formed a skull in the air before fading. Marco flinched and positioned himself behind Kelly, his protective instincts making his body move against his will. The Woolett girl showed no fear however, even making the fool-hardy choice to lean over the boiling mess of liquid so she could examine it closer. Her expert eyes slowly skimmed over her own concoction to make sure it was finished. 

“Is it… done?” Marco asked, his voice shaking fearfully. Kelly had already briefed him multiple times how her super secret recipe could possibly explode if not made properly and he would really prefer not to burn alive if he could help it, he had plans later that day. 

“Looks like it,” Kelly replied thoughtfully. She whipped out a spoon from her apron, holding it just an inch over the bubbling soup. “But there’s only one way to know for sure.”

“Hold on a second,” Marco said, stopping her just before she could scoop up a bite. He reached down under the table and hefted a heavy fire extinguisher onto the counter, making sure it was ready in case something went horribly wrong. “Okay, go.”

Marco frowned seriously as he watched the spoon of questionable contents rise to his friend’s lips, Kelly lifting up the fire shield so she could sip her creation. The hooded teen studied the Woolett anxiously as she smacked her lips a few times, clearly considering the taste carefully. He relaxed a bit when she didn’t burst into flames but still felt the need to ask, “Well?”

Kelly nodded before saying, “Not bad.”  

“Yes!” Marco exclaimed cheerfully, ready to celebrate with all the intensity and vibrancy his friend deserved in this moment of triumph. “You did it, Kelly! I knew you could! Your super secret recipe is a success!” 

“Whoa, whoa, Marco,” Kelly said, trying to call her friend down a bit. “I know this is a big moment and all but now is not the time to start freaking out. I mean I’m the only one who’s even tried it yet, I have no idea if it’s that good.”

“I know, I know,” Marco said quickly, his tone apologetic for just an instance before returning to his peppy brightness. “I’m just so happy for you, Kelly! I mean it’s taken you months to make this stuff! You should be proud of yourself for sticking with it for so long!”

Kelly nodded, all humbleness leaving her at the praise, feeling her ego only grow with every word. “Well, it wasn’t exactly easy to make the hottest, most delicious stew of all time. But I did it.” She absentmindedly started to stir the red hot stew, talking out loud as she worked. “I mean just finding the right ingredients for the stew was a challenge in itself. Most people said volcano peppers couldn’t even be heated without them exploding but then I’m not most people, am I?” 

“And no one but you would’ve figured out the trick to cooking them," Marco admired, hoping to boost his friend’s confidence even more with the praise. The trick had been simple in the end, just keep it at a constant simmer for three months straight. Only Kelly could have cracked that code.

“Well after working with Roy for long enough, I learned a few tricks to avoid exploding food.” The Woolett shuddered at the multiple memories of her previous place of employment. But she perked up as she continued to brag to her friend in a mischievous tone, “And now this stuff is gonna make pain pepper tacos taste like ice cream in comparison.” 

Marco cringed as he remembered the feeling of his tongue melting, asking hesitantly, “Isn’t that kind of unsafe?”

Kelly shrugged. “Relax, Marco. I’m not Roy. I would never make something that could endanger someone’s life.”

The Woolett was cut off as a burst of flame shot up from the pan, the two teens screaming and jumping back to avoid being burned alive. The fire continued to crackle for a few seconds before it slowly died down till it was just hot steam rising off the now-ruined stew. Marco and Kelly blinked in disbelief, the hooded teen about to voice his shock when they heard a familiar person call out. “Marco! Marco, are you there?!” 

“Tom?” Marco looked around in surprise for any sign of his friend. “Where are you?” he asked when he failed to spot him right away.

“Look in the pan,” came his answer and both teens hesitantly approached the boiling stew. Only now the surface of the liquid had a familiar face on it. “TOM! What are you doing in Kelly’s secret stew?!”

“Ruining everything,” Kelly mumbled in annoyance, shooting the demon boy a hated glare.

“It’s an old demon trick,” Tom explained quickly, only for his tone to turn panicked and dire, “But nevermind that, I need your help!”

“Why didn’t you just call him?” Kelly snapped. 

“No time! It’s an emergency!” Tom shouted, his voice shaking with worry. 

Marco gasped. “Don’t worry, Tom-” The hooded teen struck a dramatic pose before proclaiming, “I’m on my way!”

“Uh, what about my stew?” Kelly crossed her arms, sending chilling glares to both boys. 

Marco locked eyes with the Tom image before saying, “Uhh, I’ll help you remake it later.”

Kelly groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers. “Fine, whatever, just go.” 

“Thanks Kelly, I owe you one,” Marco said running from the room. The Woolett looked sadly over at her ruined creation, Tom’s face now gone but her once-delicious stew now a burnt and inedible mess, grieving for all the hard work that had been wasted thanks to one friend’s mistake. She let out a heavy sigh, leaning against the counter so she could stare sadly into the bubbling pot. 

Marco poked his head back into the kitchen, giving the girl a sheepish expression, before asking, “Uhh Kelly, one more favor?”

Kelly raised her head and slowly looked in his direction, her eyes full of anger and death. “What?!” she snapped to him in annoyance. 

Marco gave his friend the most apologetic look he had, his fingers tapping nervously on the doorframe as he asked softly, “Um, can I please borrow your dimensional scissors?” 

The Woolett glared at him for a few more seconds, the boy giving her a puppy dog look back. The intense staring contest continued for a few seconds before Kelly gave in, throwing her head back and letting out an annoyed groan. “Fine, you win! You're lucky I can’t stay mad at you!” She stomped over to the teen and practically shoved her scissors into his hands. “Here, take it.” 

“Thanks Kelly,” Marco shouted gleefully, giving her a quick hug before running from the kitchen, yelling over his shoulder, “I promise I’ll make it up to you later!” 

Kelly just sighed and went back to work, disposing of her ruined batch of secret stew and cleaning up her messy kitchen, grumbling the whole time about how inconsiderate Tom was and how she couldn't believe she considered him a friend and how no one appreciated a royal chef, somehow her boyfriend Tad sleeping blissfully on.

[cassyapper]

Apart from Jotaro and Kakyoin (unfortunately) what are your other favourite jojo ships? I’d love to know

OHHHH POST YOUVE OPENED A CAN OF FUCKING WORMS LET ME GO OFF

i have a disease that makes me invested in the joestars’ happiness to an absurd level so bc of that a lot of ships i enjoy involve,,,one joestar,,,but there r others i swear let me just start rantingi

jonaeriwagon is soooooo so so cute it involves the most wholesome and purehearted jojo characters and it makes me smile so wide. erina and jonathan r childhood sweethearts and erina helped jonathan back on his feet after he lost EVERYTHING in the first fight against dio at the mansion. jonathan and speedwagon are best FRIENDS OKAY!! SPEEDWAGON LITERALLY CHANGES HIS ENTIRE WALK OF LIFE BECAUSE OF JONATHAN AND THE KINDNESS HE SHOWED HIM. i know erina and speedwagon didn't interact a whole lot in part 1 but like they're BEST. FRIENDS. in part 2, so much so joseph thought something was going on between them. i bring this up bc then it’s proof that this ship is full of ppl who just care for each other so much. they just adore each other and love each other and I'm crying

caejoseq is my FAVVV OKAY they're so stupid and in love. i love love love love imagining caesar and suziq falling in love slowly when he’s first training as lisalisa’s student and like they never do anything about it cause they're both so shy (yes caesar is shy bc these feelings r more genuine romance rather than sexual, unlike his other flings) but it’s obvious enough they both understand to a degree the other knows they like them sjkd;dn cuties. but then JOSEPH BARGES IN with his stupid hamon-breathing mask and his stupid blue-green eyes and his stupid lax personality combined with the moments he takes thing seriously during which is works hard as fuck/smart as fuck. he just completely sweeps them off their feet they had no fuckin warning whatsoever. so after a bunch of messy and intense pining from the both of them they eventually sit down and are like okay. we should do smth about feelings actually. so they Do and it ends with the polycule and I'm (”: smiling so wide they loved each other do u understand

AVPOL!! DO NOT GET ME STARTED OKAY it’s the survivor’s guilt and cherishing and longing for me sis!!!!!! I'm just saying both have pasts (araki said avdol’s backstory was so sad he didn't wanna put it into sdc so that’s where I'm drawing this from) that leave them focused on things other than their direct happiness/their own futures but then they connect and even though they're so fucking different they are SOOO different they're still the same on this level and i think!!! that would be everything for them finally someone who understands...listen I'm ging to go insane do you hear me. avdol loves this stupid fucking Frenchman so much because said stupid fucking Frenchman just cares so much about everything. meanwhile polnareff is in love with this fuckin god of a man who’s patient and kind and funny and a skilled enough fighter it’s stated explicitly in canon “oh avdol’s the one we need to worry about most not jotaro” like fuck polnareff is ENAMOURED WITH HIM!! AND I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM!! and just dude. when pol thinks avdol came back to life and he starts crying tears of joy and hugs him so tightly and avdol just laughs but hugs him back imfmfjfj help. help. help. help. help. POLNAREFF LITERALLY ASKS HIM OUT ON A DATE THIS IS FUCKIN!!! CANON!!! i cant do this stupid fuckign idiots i love them

JOSUYASU!!!!!! TWO GUYS BEIGN DUDES WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??? like listen we have such a SLEW of wholesome moments between these two the opening to the tonio episode is literally just them going on a date OKUYASU WAS GONNA FEED JOSUKE AND JOSUKE DIDNT EVEN FUCKING QUESTION IT OKAY THAT’S KINDA GAY THAT HAS ROMANTIC FUCKING UNDERTONES!! and them fighting against shigechi idk man i just love their dynamic it’s such a pleasant bro relationship and i love them. but even beyond the wholesome moments when okuyasu fucking dies josuke loses his SHIT!!! DO YOU HEAR ME HE GOES FUCKIGN INSANE!!!!! HE’S SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BEGGING OKUYASU TO WAKE UP AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS LIFE FUCKIGN HAYATO HAD TO SHRIEK AT HIM TO MOVE HIS ASS OUT OF THE WAY OF KIRA’S BOMB LIKE!! listen the recklessness and furiousness of josuke’s tactics after okuyasu “”died”” haunts me. he didn't want to live in a world without him and meanwhile okuyaus LITERALLY TRIUMPHS OVER DEATH BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE JOSUKE’S SIDE HELP ME GIRL FJKF;NDJN FUCK. fuck. so yeah i lvoe them

fugionara... any combination of this ship makes me go nuts okay okay. the dynamics in the bucci gang will forever leave me in tatters but THE ONES BETWEEN THESE THREE IN PARTICULAR. FUCK ME UP. it’s the healing it’s the animosity it’s the regret it’s the trying to figure out your own mentally ill self while also the world ur in with these ppl u love so much and I'm going crazy okay okay okay. idk how to quite put my feelings for them in worlds i just have a lot of them and they are fuckin. overhwelming. just narancia for example meant EVERYTHING to fugo as evidence by purple haze feedback (literally every other paragraph is a flashback) and the only time giorno cries in the anime is when narancia dies. meanwhile fugo saved narancia’s life and giorno knew when to take narancia seriously as opposed to a joke. and then THE WHOLE DISCUSSION ABOUT GRIEF FUGO AND GIORNO HAVE IN PURPLE HAZE FEEDBACK? listen something about these three make me go insane and feral

foolymes like okay. okay. I'm shaking like a dog trying not to go overboard on this justification just listen to me. hermes and jolyne first find someone to trust in prison in each other. jolyne cares abt her enough that she first learns how to use stone free’s string-on-a-telephone ability bc she wanted to watch over hermes. hermes loves nd respects jolyne that after she wakes up from getting a stand shes like “hm. wonder where jolyne is” and goes to find her before all that bullshit happened just hey okay LISTEN TO ME!! and then they get foo they save her it’s just like fucking kakyoin they give her another chance and they show her what relationships are supposed to be like (fulfilling) they enjoy her company and make her laugh and she makes them laugh in return ohmy god EVERYTHING FOO FIGHTERS DID WAS FOR JOLYNE AND HERMES DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!! the marilyn mansion debt collector arc. the kiss of love and revenge arc. foo fighter’s death. I'm going to eat rocks in an attempt to stop feeling oh my god JOLYNE DIDNT EVEN BELEIVE FOO FIGHTERS WAS DYING AND THEN SHE GOT HYSTERICAL LIKE “BUT WE CAN JUST REMAKE YOU RIGHT WE HAVE YOUR STAND DISC??” SHE DOESNT WANT HER TO GOOO HELP ME HELP ME. I'm in tatters these three girls loved each other so fucking much they just wanted each other safe and they DESERVED to be safe and happy together but araki is fucking evil

jotaweather I KNOW THIS IS A CRACK SHIP I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW DONT FUCKIGN LOOK AT ME JUST HEAR ME OUT. jotaro and weather r both of similar demeanor that is quiet soft-speaking intimidating strong big aura of sadness coming from them. both have powerful stands and both had real fucked up luck in the love department. i also hc both to be autistic so that’d be another similarity. i jus think them settling down together after everything went down in a stone ocean au would be very soft and sweet yknow? they wouldn't even necessarily start it off in a romantic sense but they just take the time to try and heal with each other and eventually it just kinda veers that way. yeah

gyjo for OBVIOUS reasons like are you serious? gyro changed johnny’s fucking lfie from the SECOND they first interact johnny begins to push himself and tries to reach further/go further. and in turn johnny shows gyro you cant always be a wet blanket you need to take a stand this both helps his resolve to save the kid AND helps him to take the measures necessary to get to his goal. like gyro would not have been able to find johnny in the “who shot johnny joestar?” arc if he hadn't gone through, say, the ring roadagain arc with johnny first. listen man their relationship is literally the catalyst for this whole part it’s the driving force i just. they love each other they love each other thank you goodnight I'm emo

yasugap is just so so so so sweet it makes me so happy,,like okay josuk8 literally has a daydream where all that happens is he gives yasuho some candy and she eats it and is like “aw josuke this is so good thanks!” and she smiles at him and that’s IT THAT’S THE DAYDREAM 😭 listen they just love each other so much and i am emo. they literally SAVED EACH OTHER OKAY LIKE yasuho pulls him from the dirt and like she mentioned during the flashback chapter with the hairpin and her dad, it was also the other way around....saving josuke also saved herself and just LISTEN TO ME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. it’s a very sweet and healthy relationship and i hope to god araki makes it canon please sir ill bite you

anyway yeah these are the main main ones ? that i ship ship. like you'll get me excited if u mention them. anyway this post has gone on long enough so I'm gonna end it here by saying i really do have a thing where the relationship focuses on healing/helping one or both parties to save/improve themselves

[weeping-petals]

Post-War

Word Count -  3,635

Decades following the Gem War, the Crystal Gems search for survivors. While out surveying, Pearl and Spinel discover the aftermath of the songs affects.

Time ground on following the decimating blast which erased Diamond interest in the doomed Earth Colony. Existence was lonely, but as years wound on the remaining rebels began to find ways to pick up their lives and move on, grieve, and remake purpose in an empty world. Portions of the planet most affected by the Gem Song shrugged off the effects, and where barren stretches of land petered off into the sunset, came life and new growth. Not all the continents received the full affects, which gave the Crystal Gems hope that somewhere out there, someone had survived, someone was searching for them as they searched for her.

 A century before, during the initial stages of the rebellion, Bismuth gems destroyed warp pads that linked directly to Home World. Unless Peridot’s survived, even if they were Home World loyal, no one was present with the capacity to mend transportation. The rebels were stranded on the world they fought to preserve, and struggled each and every day to reconnect with some form of gem-life. It didn’t matter if they were enemy, pebbles, whatever – any sign of others would be appreciated.

 They took turns returning to the field, where the last stand had come. Usually in pairs, if Garnet was able to keep her shape. Sometimes being alone was good too, it gave them time to reflect with private thoughts and feelings. But being with someone, to prattle onto and help with burying the fragments and Gems left behind, it alleviated the loneliness and isolation each of them felt exiled to this world.

 Rose spent a good time with Garnet, keeping the fusion together – in an emotional sense. Sometimes Ruby and Saphire couldn’t bear to be a part, sometimes they couldn’t bear being one. Saphire felt immense guilt that she had not foreseen this, and thought perhaps she was defective after all, and that she belonged on the Earth. As if something could possible be wrong with her. Ruby assured her, she was the problem, she dragged Saphire into this, she was the unaccounted variable. There was cycling, blaming them self, fighting to alleviate the pain and confusion the other felt, and twisting around to assure the other gem that no, no-no, it wasn’t you, it was me. I did something wrong.

 Some days Pearl and Spinel couldn’t bear to be around the fusion, retracted from the cruel irony of the rebellion. Garnet was – for this time – the only Crystal Gem that didn’t understand the truth. Pearl couldn’t speak on the tragedy, and Spinel was frightened of revealing the truth. Thus, it couldn’t come to pass that Garnet would learn, since she never came together and confronted them about it. There was some stupid comfort in that.

 “We’ll get through this,” Pearl assured.

 Spinel scoffed. “Is that you talkin, or Rose?” She ignored the fierce glare sent her way, and shrugged.

 The forest was a nice change of pace, the search extended to new terrain, recently unexplored territory where they hoped, hopelessly, that someone might be found. This location was pure and untouched by the colony’s advancements, certifying that no gem could possibly be here, but they held out for possibilities. Unseen pathways. The improbable which Garnet begged them to consider.

 “Ye, of course,” Spinel resumed. “Like we have a choice. Hello, Home World. This is the rebellion calling. You missed a SPOT!”

 “Keep your voice down.”

 “Oh, who’s gonna hear? The trees? The flowers? The non-sentient rocks?” She shuddered. “We knew it was coming. She… sensed it. She could’ve saved… more. She could have.”

 “Rose barely saved us.” Pearl crossed her arms and stepped into a small clearing where a patch of light plunged. “You can’t keep revisiting what ‘could have’ and ‘might have’s’, it’s over and done. You could be so… immature at times. We have to move on.”

 “You always do that.” But Spinel didn’t want to elaborate. Since the Song, Pearl had viciously latched onto every word, every passphrase of encouragement which kept them collected and sane.

 Not that Spinel was any better, she redirected her resentment onto Pearl. They were the precise opposite of Ruby and Saphire. More could have been done, it was your fault, not mine. Their co-existence stagnated. Their satchel of truth drove on the whirling spiral of resentment.

 “I wish she had left me in the Garden. I wish she never brought me here, never asked me to play this stupid game.” She never lost a game before. “I could still be my oblivious, stupid, gullible, naive-self.”

 Pearl shivered and shook her head. “What if. Might’ve been,” she repeated. It looked like she wanted to say more, turning around to face Spinel, but rethought. “Come along. We have miles to cover before we can avert our course.”

 They walked in silence for some time. Spinel noted Pearl was doing no sort of charting; they walked onward aimlessly, forgoing duties. Nothing mattered anymore. They had nothing to work towards, aside from burying foe and friends.

 “Do you still love her?” Pearl posed. It made Spinel flinch.

 “Of course! Everything’s gone all wrong, but… I can’t help— She’s all we have left! I mean, look at this place?” She rotated while walking, extending her arms a little further out to showcase the tallest trees, the beaming sun, the blue sky. “This is my Garden now. This was worth hhHHH—”

 Her foot caught on a root and she tumbled. Really went down for the count. Pearl gawked, as if Spinel said something repulsive. Or maybe because Spinel had gotten her limbs into a tangle with foliage and her eyes spun counter-wise in their sockets.

 “I’m stuck.”

 “How can you be stuck?”

 “I’m stuck,” she repeated, dourly. Limbs tugged and slithered, but she couldn’t put her body into sorts. This was so embarrassing. Unfortunately, no one else was present to see this. “Um, I think maybe….”

 “Try… never mind. Don’t move, let me see.” Pearl knealt and worked to loosen the knots. “I don’t see how you managed this.”

 “Bet Garnet could’ve seen THAT coming.”

 “You’re making it worse. Stop moving!”

 “That tickles.”

 “You’re impossible. You’re doing this on purpose.”

 “No, I really am stuck. Wait, wha’s this?” She twisted an arm looped behind her back and ripped up her hand, undoing her fist. “Huh? This ain’t gem tech.”

 Pearl cupped her chin and tilted her head. The gem in her forehead scanned the wadded material. “Hmm. It’s not wires. No metal components. Completely organic. Yet, unnatural to the native fauna? A trap, perhaps?”

 “Pathetic trap.” She used her free hand to snap at the tangled mess barring limbs. “Okay, if you could push my foot counter-clockwise, and bend my elbow.”

 “That makes no sense!”

 “Look, would you just trust me? I don’t tell you how to pull a spear out of your head!” Tentatively, Pearl followed Spinel’s instructions, ludicrous as it was, and the moment she spun Spinel’s shoulders on her torso, the lanky gem snapped back into her typical shape with a ssSSSSssss – POP!

 “Mulch-mulch, better.” She dusted off her limbs. “I think that’s enough expedition today. Can we head back?”

 Pearl fanned her hand. “No. I still want to— ” A muffled, distant shriek caught her attention, and she shared a look with Spinel. “It can’t be.”

 “A gem! It has to be. Which way?”

 “Spinel, wait!” Pearl groaned, and took off in the direction the gem bolted. “It might be reconnaissance! We should withdraw!”

 “Home World wouldn’t bother!” she hollered back, zipping and dipping through the foliage. “They’d send something Eye Balls! Last I checked, Eye Balls don’t scream.”

 “Red Eyes!” Pearl corrected. “We can’t take the risk!”

 “Risks are my specialty!” The shrill came again, a different resonance unlike the first. Spinel changed course, and Pearl skipped across a shallow stream, struggling to keep up. “Don’t be silt! If it’s another gem, I wanna meet them!”

 The two tore through the undergrowth, tackling pathways that met their physical prowess best. Within traversing the mile, a clearing burst open around them, expanding for meters this and that way in neatly trimmed lines. Spinel nearly toppled again as her feet lost traction on the ribbed terrain. Pearl yelped when she plowed into a hedge of tall plants and artificial lattice work. Spinel skid to a halt for the novelty of pointing and laughing.

 “Spinel! Control yourself!” Pearl wretched within the collapsing material and became more ensnared. “This isn’t funny!”

 “I can’t – I can’t—” Spinel pitched forward unable to stay upright, while wild cackles zipped through her body. It didn’t work for Pearl to fight her way out, the more she struggled the more tangled she became, the more ridiculous she looked. “Do you need—” She broke into intense giggles. “I swear, I’m gonna poof!”

 “WOULD YOU— ” Another cry, this time very close. It was peppered with new sounds, shouting and wailing. And something else.

 A wretched squeal unlike any song or shriek, pierced the blue sky, spurring birds from distant trees into flight.

 Spinel stopped laughing and sat up in a mashed patch of leaves. Pearl did her best to meet the source, eyes wide. “What was that?” the Pearl mumbled. She snatched a spear from her head, and in three sharp slashes, tore down the threads and wood.

 “I don’t like this,” Spinel uttered. She picked her way over the rows and stood beside Pearl. The cries became more panicked, some of the phrases made sense but came in varied pitches. Always, there came the wretched bellow. A trail of smoke lifted from distant structures, designed by purpose and not by chance.

 “We’ll see what’s there,” Pearl reasoned, “and then leave.” Spinel shook her had and took a step back, but Pearl snatched her hand and moved. Spinel protested, but Pearl led her onward. “It won’t alarm us if we’re together.”

 “What happened to, ‘Eugh. Let’s go back’?”

 “Just a peek.” The two didn’t get more than five steps from the structures perimeter, when a creature sprang out and crashed through a built square frame with an animal pelt drawn tight. The being gazed back, teeth bared and face etched with lines. Very expressive.

 Spinel growled. “It’s just a hooman! Or course they would survive annihilation! What nerve!” She snapped her hand out of Pearl’s grasp.

 “Why is it so frightened though? That’s not typical behavior.”

 “They experienced a spontaneous whiteout sponsored by Home World! What sane animal wasn’t freaked out!”

 “Humans don’t live that long….”

 “You would know, wouldn’t you!” Spinel threw her hands high. “It felt just like yester—” Intense yaps and shrieking cut through her words. More of the humans raced across the open gaps among their small village, some carrying small children.

 Then they discovered the source of the bestial snarls.

 It was a big thing with vibrant colors across its body, thick forelimbs and no real distinct head. But it did have a maw filled with gnashing, jagged teeth. The creature seemed to have only front limbs, and only a back end that was serpentine or all tail. It dragged itself, stuttering and screaming, shredding through village homes, following the noises the human creatures made.

 “My stars, what is that?” Pearl hugged the spear to her chest.

 “Uh, ah-ah, hooo, ver, egh…” Spinel choked, trying to come up with the correct word. She snapped her fingers. “Hunter! Nailed it! Nothing to see here, let’s go home!” She swung away. Pearl reared back and snagged her shoulder.

 “No-no, wait! It’s attacking the village!”

 “This looks completely normal and ordinary to me! They are the hoomans, and that is the hunter. We shouldn’t interfere. Rose said—”

 “She doesn’t like it when the humans are harmed!”

 “Plenty of humans shattered during the war!” Spinel slapped Pearl’s hand away. “What’s! Your! POINT?!”

 “They were warriors! These are… they don’t have the right weapons!” Pearl stamped her foot and gestured to the creature, while it continued tearing through roofs and walls. The large head swept down, checking on the bickering gems. “This is not a fair fight!”

 “Pfft, like I care?” Spinel let her arms dangle at her sides.

 “You should! They were what we were fighting for!” A look crossed Spinel’s aloof expression, and Pearl had to shut her eyes. “Rose would want—”

 “You’re not my Diamond! And I’m not a warrior! Not anymore! You want to help so bad, you deal with this all on your own.” Spinel hopped back several steps, expression dark, scowl deepened in her brows.

 “You can’t seriously leave all this to me!”

 “That’s your decision! I’m opposed to interfering!”

 Pearl growled and whipped around, drawing up a spear. The beast thing bellowed and dipped forward, its long tail portion shot forward spearing the ground where she stood.  But Pearl was gone.

 She tumbled through the rows of vegetation, coming to a halt on her knees and flung her spear. The big beast reared backwards, evading the projectile with ease. The body twisted rotated and it fell onto a building, continuing its mindless destruction. More humans tore through the open gaps among wreckage, and the beast peered at them. It had no distinct eyes, aside from patters along the vague shape of its muzzle. It expelled another shriek and darted among the village structures, using its body to corral a group of humans.

 “Hey! Hey, you!” Pearl hollered. She glanced Spinel’s way, but there was minimal change in her expression, aside from a snarky grin. “I said, HEY YOU!” She pulled another spear from her gem and took aim.

 The big beast reared up and cocked its head her way.

 “Yeah! YOU! PICK…” she stalled, “ON SOMEONE… YOUR OWN SIZE!” Her face burned blue as Spinel was consumed in fits of cackles. “UGH! Immature, stubborn….” She grumbled to herself, and bolted into the fray. The beast lost immediate interest in her, and resumed tearing through roofs.

 With a kick, Pearl launched herself as high as she could and chucked the spear with precise accuracy. The creature gave a mournful wail and plowed through a roof – in the midst of Pearl’s descent, the long tail swept sideways and knocked her aside.

 Spinel barely managed to recover and wiped the glee from her eyes. “Wow! This is gonna be priceless! I need to find a better spot to watch!” She darted off, scanning the general zone for a high point. Not far beyond the village’s region she spied a rising hill and tall trees growing on the slope.

 “I’ve got to get it away from the humans,” Pearl muttered. Her strategy for combat was eroded, and the unknown creature’s tactics and overall goal was spontaneous. It lost interest in tearing up the village, and pursued humans if they were careless enough to get too close, sometimes it took interest in Pearl’s movement, but lost focus when a flurry of bolts pelted up its backside, and resumed working at the tall structures at its elbows.

 In conclusion, the thing was an irrational mess, unpredictable, and with no strategy. All living creatures or sentient things, had an order to follow. The beast was hollow of reaching for base needs; this much was apparent, when it departed the village and began tearing apart the trees that wouldn’t scoot out of its way. It screamed at the trunks, occasionally going after Pearl when she appeared to batter its body. It departed the heart of village, but the humans couldn’t move fast enough to escape the vicinity it claimed as demolition.. It followed sounds, or bellowed and bit into the rocks that gently caressed its limbs.

 “No fluid,” Pearl noted. The beast knocked a volley of spears from its torso and wailed skyward. “Breaks in its body, but no organic leaks. What is it?” In her distraction, the creature grazed her with its third arm and Pearl went pinwheeling.

 Spinel nearly plunged from the tree, but caught herself with her legs and wound herself back up. She was in hysterics, trying to hug the branch with one arm wrapped tight, and pounded her fist against the bark. Never had Pearl looked so beyond her element – poor elegant, graceful, ferocious, renegade Pearl.

 “Had enough?” she hooted. “Huh! Have you? Call it quits! That thing has nothing to lose!” Her grin widened, and the tears only came thicker, wetter, in sappy globs. She sniffed and wiped her face.

 Pearl shrugged off leaves from the shrub she crashed through and hastened across the growing path of destruction. A cry snapped out, but it was not from the horrendous creature. Despite its coloration and shape, she had all but lost it among the thicket. If she wasn’t following the howls, then the petrified shrieks of the natives gave course.

 A group of humans backed up into a deep alcove, a few trying to climb the steep rock face while a small portion stood at the front with stone weapons, some carried tools like hammers. The primitive tools proved ineffective, aside from causing the beast creature mild confusion when a hammer pinged off its snout.

 “Get away from them!” Pearl zoomed in and peppered the multicolored body with bolts, concluding by heaving the spear full force at its body. Another spear, another volley of energy to draw the creatures attention and keep it distracted. She continued to draw on reserves, as the creature rotated to her, knocking down trees and bulldozing rocks. It had been decades since the war, since Pearl was forced to exert herself to this degree. Even without a premonition from Garnet, she saw her chances would be very-very slim.

 The humans cringed into the partial cover of the rock cliff, huddling together as the tail segment lashed above their heads.

 “Here! Come here! I’m your opponent!”

 With a churning growl, the beast wound around and lashed its tail out.

 Meanwhile, Spinel was swinging her way down the trees with long sweeps of her arms. “Stupid, stupid, righteous Pearl. Ya dodo. Rose this. Rose that.No one here’s impressed!”

 Another dodge, and Pearl ducked in close to swipe at the limbs. It worked more in her favor if she got in close, used her agility to keep the creature befuddled – it kept looking for her, distracted perfectly. Some of the humans were able to inch their way from the alcove, but the beast maintained a close distance and its body writhed and rolled. Pearl very nearly collided with its arm when it slapped a palm down, whizzing past her nose by mere inches.

 There in the wrist she saw it. Yet, couldn’t believe it. Unrestrained despair tainted all tenacity for fight and protect.

 A gem stone shimmered against her eyes, her face reflected in the polished surface. No. This wasn’t right. Something terrible, something awful had come about. She froze like a board, saucer-eyed, unable to grasp meaning or build comprehension. This wasn’t an animal. This… this was.

 A set of jaws clamped down over Pearl’s shoulder, nearly piercing her form through. The beast creature flung her around and around, twisting its body, not letting go, impossibly fast and erratic movements she couldn’t detach from until vertigo overtook her. Any second now she’d be lashed against a boulder, and her gemstone would crack. Any second, she would know nothing. She would shatter.

 Something, or a lot of small things, happened all at once. The jagged teeth unlocked from her shoulder, and momentarily her body revolved without restraint or equilibrium. This endured for mere seconds, wherein something caught her by the wrist – one laced across her chest and locked to a spear (it was all she could manage to keep her limbs from snapping loose off her body) – and tugged her out of the dislocating spiral. She was rotating over and over midair, the difference was it had control and poise. She creaked one eye open.

 “I got bored!” Spinel spat. One arm was latched to Pearl, the other limb coiled tight around her own entire body. “Got your wits?” Pearl nodded, still stunned, unable to verbalize. “Okay then. Have fun!”

 Pearl traced the remaining portion of Spinel’s coiled arm, saw where the hand was fixed to. The beast was mid recoil, a blazing slash dazzled the side of its muzzle. The hand was locked to its teeth. With their interaction concluded, Spinel recalled her arm, whirling her body – with Pearl – at a terrifying speed. Pearl locked her fingers onto the spear and waited the moment when Spinel released her wrist. In a blink she was driven downward, the next instant her spear cut through the core of the beast.

 An explosion of green dust settled around Pearl. She stood shaky, turned to see the glittering stone drop among splinters and leaves.

 A Gem’s stone.

 Spinel crashed through the canopy and bounced across the earth, knees bent way backwards over her head. A graceful faceplant. Her legs flopped to the ground.

 “Bad idea,” the muffled proclamation came.

 “Spinel,” Pearl uttered. She moved to the gem stones side and dropped to her knees. “Look at this.”

 The Spinel stumbled over to Pearl and leaned over. When she saw the precious stone in question, she recoiled. “Whoa-whoa-whoa! What?!”

 Pearl shook her head, and bubbled the gem. “I don’t… it was in its wrist. In her wrist.”

 “Embedded?”

 “I think… it was supposed to be there.” She shook her head again. “No. Not supposed to, but… she formed around it. Formed from this gem. A gem stone. Someone.”

 “No-no-no, don’t say that! You can’t say something like that! We don’t know! It— We just don’t—” Spinel gave a holler and stomped away, tugging at her hair. “No! Just No!”

 “We need to show this to Rose and Garnet.” Pearl stood with the bubble on her palm, and dismissed her weapon. She looked over, as humans from the dismantled village began emerging from their shelters and hiding places throughout the foliage. “Oh dear.”

 “Look at the mess it made!” Spinel stormed off. “You can deal with it! I’m goin’ home!”

[incantavaxx]

So, in the spirit of share the love, let’s play a game! Rules: it doesn’t matter how much you have watched of each remake, if it’s everything or just one clip or even if you have to go and watch the trailer just to do this, let’s say something you love about EACH remake. (If I forgot one remake, scream at me in the comments and I’ll add it immediately!)

 Skam Italia: My baby. Obviously biased because it’s my culture, so I relate to it on a whole other level, but the friendships in this are so well done. So deep and natural, funny but in a spontaneous and not scripted looking way (the actors are best friends irl and it shows). The boysquad in particular stole my heart and soul and it is what made season 2 to me: I think I enjoyed OG Evak more than Nicotino and maybe I’ll enjoy other Evak more as well, but this boysquad right here will always own my ass. Their chemistry, the support, the mocking and the hugs, the physical affection, the depth of every single one of them. Gio is the best friend and magic wizard everyone deserves, but Elia and Luchino are just as amazing. “Patatine e marmellata”, the clip where Martino and Nicco wake up to the boysquad singing Buon viaggio while cleaning, the same boysquad that slept on the floor for them, well this clip right here is my favorite out of all the Skam Universe. It’s just so pure and real. “Share the love.”

Honorable mentions to: Mamma “finally a good parent” Rametta, Filippo “water only if my room is on fire” Sava, Chicco “savior of gays and god of tutorials” Rodi, Edoardo “I look like a badass but I bake cookies for my crush” Incanti.

Also: The bike scene: Martino taking off the mask while laughing happily with Nicco in front of San Pietro, the most important chatolic church in the world. It really doesn’t get more powerful than that. Which brings me to my last point. The setting, Rome. The eternal city. Only remake to have the Colosseum casually chilling in the background.

Druck: They have Matteo. Do I need to say more? I don’t even know what it is about him, it’s just this unique vibe he has, I loved him from the start and I’m loving his season so far –also I love that his Even (David, Beany Boy, GerEven, wherever you might call him) is so different as well and I hope the character is going to be trans just like the actor. And the fact that there is this confusion about Matteo possibly being Even because of all the little changes (the fricking ciguarette, the Sarah storyline...)? We absolutely don’t know what to expect from this season and I’m here for it. Also, that scene in season 2 where Alexander has a panick attack? That was not only my favorite scene from Druck, but one of my favorite scenes from the Skam universe as a whole, OG included. It was so well acted and so so SO important, the human, hurt side of the William’s character is usually just “told”, but here it was ���showed”, raw and real, and it was powerful (and I cried a lot). Mia was there for him and the fact that they showed that even a cool, badass, male character can have panic attacks is, again, so important.

Kiki (Vilde) had an amazing development and let’s not forget that their female Chris has blue hair and she’s simply gorgeous.   

 Skam Austin: The fact that they kept us all guessing in season one because we didn’t know WHO was the Isak characters was amazing and I’m so happy that it turned out to be Shay, she’s an absolute queen and I’m so excited to see the first female Isak’s season, she’s gonna crush it, I know it. And I can’t wait to meet her Even, I also love the fact that we don’t know yet if it’s gonna be a new character or maybe Megan (Eva) herself, that would make them the only remake to have Eva/Isak canon basically and wow. But to be honest I don’t actually care, like if it’s Megan I’m here for it, if it’s a new girl, I’m here for it too, I just want to see Shay rocks her season. 

And their Chris is adorable btw -- > *about eating broccoli* “It’s like eating a tiny three”.

 Skam France: They are killing it with this season, Lucas (Isak) is a little savage and I pay this remake my respects for changing the first Evak pool kiss in a RAIN kiss, like, wow, they did that. And the buttcheeks on the mural, the kiss covered in paint, Skam France is feeding us well. Manon and Lucas have one if not the best Noora/Isak friendship, the scene where they both cry on the couch, without talking, is one of my favorite, just like the one where Lucas plays the piano (chills). And this is actually a clip that came out today but I HAVE to mention it: Imane (Sana) talking down the teacher from deleting the mural because all the colors represent all their differences and also skin colors, differences that can’t be covered in white, I loved it and I’m definitely excited for her season and all the changes they’ll make –since it’s not going to be the last season. Also I’m finding Emma (Eva) more adorable and funny in each clip (HER LAVA LAMP LMAO).

SkamNL: I only watched a few clips here and there even if I want to fix that when I’ll have more time, but this doesn’t stop me to have a crush on basically every single member of the girlsquad, like… they’re all beautiful and the Eva’s character looked very different from all the others Evas, I don’t know how to explain it, she’s just…cool. I haven’t heard about big changes in the plot but the vibe I got from what I’ve seen is still very original and different, it’s something on its own and I totally get why so many people love this one.

Also, I’m not sleeping on their Noorhelm: Liv, the Noora’s character, is SICK (in a good way) and Noah, the William, looks adorable and almost a new character, I’m definitely excited for their interactions this season, I think they’ll change quite a lot because Liv won’t take any bullshit from no one (and I love her for it).  

 SkamEspana: Okay I watched very little of this, but this remake is CRAZY and I’m here for it, Lucas (Isak) is already out of the closet and he has a fucking youtube channel, how great is that, and they’re going to have a CHRIS season which is an absolute first and it’s going to be about her sexuality too, if you haven’t seen the trailer where she’s in the pool go watch it because it’s one of my favorite trailer ever, I’m not even properly following this remake but DAMN, that was glorious and poetic cinema at its finest. This is the remake that changed the most out of all of them and I have no idea what to expect from it: I LOVE this. Also I remember when in one of the first episodes it seemed that the Vilde character was actually Noora, and then the bell suddenly rang, the Eva’s character opened the door and THERE SHE WAS, blonde hair, red lipstick, cute as hell, ‘hi I’m Noora’.  My favorite introduction of the Noora’s character among all the remakes.

 WTFock: I haven’t watched a single clip from this remake yet (because it was the last to come out and my social life is already overwhelmed enough as it is by all the Skam) but is this going to stop me from saying at least one good thing about this? NOPE, so here we go --- > This remake wins BEST NAME hands down, like, we have all Skam*country* and then it comes, WTFock LMAO Awesome, just awesome.

 And then, of course, last but not last…

SKAM OG: It created all of this.

[thevisionmarvel]

We need to talk about WandaVision.

or the alternative title: I will be inactive for a while, but before I go, I need to write about what I think will happen, not what I want to happen, but what they, according to the facts and history of the MCU, might do. also a rant about why Tom King’s Vision is the worst.

Ps: older version used a fan-made logo to do a visual study, I'm Sorry for the mistake, this is the problem with second-handed information, I saw being used It Multiple times, and assume It things, I'm really sorry for the mistake.

Showrunner and Writers

So right now, the only thing we know about the writers room of the show, is the showrunner, Jac Schaeffer, and  Megan McDonnell, the write that confirmed writting for the series in a podcast. First kudos for the show having  a woman as showrunner.

I don’t know much about McDonnell work, but was in this podcast that the twilight zone  inspiration talk comes from, the host talks that she comes from this background of weird, twist, fantasy stories and how Wandavision seems a good fit , and she confirms that it is. see here in the wonderful post of the @officialstellaacosta​, and all the praise to @those-celestial-bodies​ that found about it the podcast.

I know a lot more about Schaeffer’s work, even before Marvel, also it rubs me the wrong way, that marvel is using the same writer to all the females centric movies and shows ( She is one of the screenwriters of Captain Marvel, she is the one that pinned the story of the  Black Widow movie), even after  what happened with Nicole Perlman . It’s hard to  talk about the Schaeffer’s work with Marvel because the only thing which premiered is Captain Marvel, and she was credited as a screenwriter really late, the movie has four screenwriters, the story of the movie is by other  three people, so this is a lot of hands, to know what was written by her .

So if you want to know more about her, this older interview with the Blaclist is great,  also it has a really insightful look  of her own writting that is backed up with the movies that she likes and mentions as inspirations to her writting:

“ I love movies that tell regular stories about regular people but I have a hard time writing straight. It’s often flat. (…)  I need a weird situation and then I try to put authentic characters having truthful reactions inside the weird. Also, the weird needs to be a commentary on something (..). The ideas I see through always begin with what if… “

She is also one of the writers of the new remake with Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson , The Hustle, but I know her work from her debut work that she directed and wrote  that it is TiMER (2009) is a indie rom-com with a really great idea, you know the post about clocks that rundowns  until you met you soulmate, so the movie is about that, and find the mudane in this weird set-up, it’s a average niche small movie, has almost every beat of a rom-com that you are expecting, just really stumbles in the end, like drop the ball  in themes about love, relationships that  wanted to talk about it, also the  end is really, boy it just undermine the theme of the movie and also  really hurt the most important platonic relationship in the story, also the comedy is so cringy sometimes and has some talk about latinos, that it’s really low-key xenophobic. Hope that since then she had learn with this. The writting has some really good bits. I think that the movie is in Amazon Prime video.

So what this tell about WandaVision : is that with the type of  writers attached to the project, the idea of putting Wanda and Vision  in a mudane environment seems likely to be true, them  and their powers being the  point of abnormality in the story.

this leads to…

 Comics (or me ranting about Tom King, a lot)

I never made a post just about Tom King’s Vision  after launched because I always feels like chewing glass  when I think about it , but this is me apologizing to you that is reading this post because of that, this will be more like a rant, so sorry, but I’ll try to be really on point  “stretch fingers again” 

So first we have to talk about the Story of the Scarlet Witch and  the Vision, their stories always were more ground, with the two limited-series really with them dealing with  relationships and family problems, this is one of the really good things of  their stories, it’s this insane of idea of a witch and a android falling in love, and with the all B-movie, pulp ideas just as backgrounds to really human  stories, and they did one of the things that comics most hate, they evolved,  we saw them build a family life, they moved to the suburban, they married, they had kids. One moment that always stayed with me, it’s really fun but also encapsulate all this, it’s the moment that they open their home to peter parker to take photos of their house, because is tax season, it just a really mudane thing, but it’s something that it clicks, yeah she is a witch, he is a android but their are grown-ups starting a family, tax season is going to be a part of their life now and then their fight the bad of the week with the help of spider-man. Simple, Fun but with a underline theme and story as comics  aimed at children should be.

And we know what happened,  which is one of more poignants things that happened  with them and  one of the best metaphors  of the worse  human thing that can happen wiith a couple, losing their child, one becoming emotionally distant and other shutting down even the memory of them, and Marvel butchered it. (but this is another post)

But before we talk about the comic, I need to talk about Vision, every  superhero has one panel that define who they are, think super-man flying, batman in the  gotham landscape, captain america punching hitler,  hawkeye falling of a building, spider-man hanging upside-down, iron-man with his hand blast, This to Vision, is him alone, crying after being accepted by the avengers, it is a moment of vulnerability, of pure emotion, he was created to destroy and now that he was accepted to protect, he cries. the tragedy of Vision is not that he is a android, and could he feel? it is that he feels, but is still learning what this is because he was created fully formed. and when he did, when the emotional reach super levels off having a healthy family dinamics, he was stripped of it, and had to regain bit by bit, just to lose again, the most horrible thing that marvel made to him is strip him of this. His creation by Ultron made him “emotional handicapped” for lack of a better term. It is like the most shakesperian super hero comics character, because he embodies the paradox of the media, no matter how much he grows emotionally,  a new writer always is going to come click on the switch and send him back to the start of the journey.  

Anyone that reads you know the wikipedia article of Vision can see that,  at least in broad strokes, and the last of the writers is Tom King, and boy, did it show that  he just didn’t care about the story of character, don’t get me wrong Tom King has talent, he is really a one note  type of writer, but he play the note really well, ( his book, and all his comics just use the same theme, same set-up, and boy, he has a portraying woman problem), you know he is really good in the most broad  branch in western fiction canon, “white man broading   being/learn to be d*cks but having feeling about it S/A” and he bring good ideas,  the execution is the problem”, the mental heatlh facilities for superheroes, genius idea, heroes in crisis not so much. the growth of the relationship between Batman and Selina, genius idea, the execution of  the wedding terrible. 

This wasn’t exactly what happened with Vision (2016)  that he wrote, the pitch for the comic is  spectacular, in his own words “Breaking Bad meets The Incredibles”, if I was the executive receving this pitch I would say yes and the execution is a well-made, well-paced psychologigal thriller, so why I am saying that just to think about it that I  want to chew glass, because this pitch was broken in the first sentence of the treatment of the comic, This is not breaking bad ( to people that don’t know , breaking bad is a series that starts as a man  doin it everything for his family, he starts trafficking drugs but we learn in seasons ahead that no, he is d*ck, alwasy been, just wanted an excuse to be bad), because he has Vision create his own wife and kids, and god , with everyone praising this series , I felt that i was alone, Vision created  his WIFE, with the only purpose of being his wife. this is not breaking bad, this is straight villain territory since the start , HBO has a series about how fucked up this is.

Vision became this monster even before the comic even starts, as a fan of the character I hated it , but I read it because I said well it’s a new experience, it’s dark, seeing one or my  favorites characters as a villain, but no things could get so much worse. Nobody pointed out the obvious, the despicable  thing he did, I waited the whole book  to when Virginia would stab Vision or disconnect every part of him,but it never came, he made even worse when he made Wanda gave her brainwaves and the idea of him making this. And in the last issue, Virginia fridged herself  with the words saying that everyone she killed was to prevent of Vision doing it the same, to preventing him of become a monster to  defend their family, and this is portrait as sad, because Vision save the world so many times, and Virginia saved one, killing herself  to make Vision not a monster.  And now I am screaming “HE IS THE MONSTER, YOU ARE THE VICTIM, STOP BLAMING YOURSELF”.

And you know what? this won the fucking Eisner of Limited Series, I saw people  saying that Vision became one of their favorite characters after the series,  the one time that Vsion is a fucking terrible villain, he is held as like poor vision  always trying to be normal, see he created a family, it didn’t work out because her wife didn’t want  to him become a monster, so she become one herself”. Like I said, he has a problem with portraing women This is the Carol and Markus situation again, bit by bit,  this is not a story that fit the character of Vision, he would never do this. and worse, everyone embrace it as a new take of the charater see this  “Tom King has reinvented Vision from a non-feeling hopeful-human into a deeply tragic character” I had to read this, multiple times.the only new take that he brought is turning Vision in a rapist monster, and not even adressing it,  I say this because this is something that no character can walk away from it, he molded the charaters to be in a story that didn’t fit them. 

But Marvel  and everyone tried , even me, pretend that this  didn’t happen but Viv still exists. Vision entered a new part of his story, being a father, healing.

What does this have to do with Wandavision? 

Well, one of the most thing that people say about it , it is that his run will be a influence in the series. So let’s start with the facts, this is the most recogniize work with the character in years, in decades really, (without counting the Chelsea Cain story that was canned before even start, but this made more news about how the industry of comics work that about the story itself)  it won a Eisner, and Feige like famous storylines, so yeah, it  a possibility, and Elizabeth said that  are  many comics that they are pulling from.

The story of  living in a suburb, like i said before, this is not something that Tom King invented, The Vision and the Scarlet Witch made this decades before him.

Being a psychological thriller, see this  I see being pulled right off his run. but it also made me think, most nothing in this shit-show of  comics would work  in the MCU, so it mosst of a genre type of thing that Feige would take from it.

Also, I saw people saying  with some tweets that King made, that he could be in someway be involved in the series. I’ll try to explain how this work, even if Marvel wanted to do an exact re-creation of his run, how things are made, they could do, because  Vision and every story made with him is property of Marvel,  They are not required to tell anything to him. Jim Starlin has this famous story about  how he had to pay to watch the first avengers, even if  he is the creator of Thanos, well Marvel became more “generous” with some creators , Starlin even has a cameo in Endgame, but they are just required to credited you, if they used some character that you created, so in King case, they would be required to put his name, just if they would used viv,vic or virginia. It’s not fair, but this is how it works. 

Do this mean that I’m saying that King is not involved? No, just saying that even if he is in the credits, as a “good action” by Marvel, this doesn’t mean that he nas any insight in the series, he could maybe  be invited as a consultant to the writers’s room , to present himself his comic , but nothing besides that.

But the tweets about a secret TV thing? well  by the dates of the tweets, yes he could being talk about some stuff about the series, but is more likely he is talking about this other project that he is making to TV, because in this dates, the show would even have a showrunner yet. (off note: Dude, but what  a problematic plot to a series)

Can I be wrong? Yes, but Marvel would never get some writer  without any experience in writting movie/TV scripts, not now, and with this commitment with other TV project, not happening it.

 for lack of a better term, Marvel : Phase Four. (when we talk about Feige, businness, contracts, etc.)

This would be so much easier if we woud still on the phase three, but this is new territory, we don’t know what the future that Feige and the Disney wants to the MCU, but  it has to go smaller, because they have to give space to “breath” after  something so big as Endgame, if this was a roller coaster, phase four  will start with a descent,  the next movie (100% MCU) will just come in 2020. and now with the series, the scope will branch more, and Marvel is a big corporation, that  is own by a even bigger corporation, so we can’t never forget  the business side of things when trying to discuss where they headed. So the series, mostly were a business decision, Disney+  is comming late in the game of streamings and they used the biggest brands to throw a knockout, but the movies will always be the flagship of the MCU, so we work with two possibilities: first, that  this talk about the series afffecting  the movies is salesman talk  and  if this happen is slighty  details or cameos or it is true and MCU will work  with a more branched continuity.

the first one, my cynical side still think that they will going to do this, but my rational side think is more unlikely because they will be minisseries  and Kevin Feige is producing them, everything we know about the Loki series  fits with this version, just taking one character  from the movies and isolating him in a series. How it was done before with AOS and Agent Carter.

The second one is a little more complicated, because then the series will mostly work as characters pieces, but nothing too big can happen in them, because if these characters will jump from TV back to the movies, if something has happened in TV, will have to be something that can explained in a quick  dialogue in the movie, or this characters will just appears in the movies in  the big fights (example: the people that were dusted just showing up to fight in the end) because no matter how bigger audience this series will have, the movies will be made to  a audience even bigger.

But just because something is a businness  decision, doesn’t mean that there is no motive in the narrative decision, (because if we stop to think, as a corporation every decision made by Feige and Marvel is a businness decision, buy you know what I mean). As in Endgame, Tony Stark and  Steve Rodgers have ends  that work with the narrative, but it’s not coincidence that between the two, the one with the bigger pay-check is the one that died and the other has an end  which allows the easily return.

Also contracts is another clue that we have: see this article . The contracts for the TV Shows don’t negate the contracts for the movies, besides the burocracy that new contracts  would definitively been made, because is two different medias, that they didn’t tried to surpass the old one, show that Marvel wants the option to still use the characters  without renegotiating a new one. Elizabeth and Paul made their multiple movies deals in the end of the phase two, also known as the moment that Marvel noticed the  “money problem” with  shorter contracts , so I would say that they still has at least one more movie.. and Marvel is mantaining the upper-hand with this new Tv contract while still holding movies in the old movie contract.

So why Marvel would do that, if the didn’t want to use the characters again? Maybe to keep a  safe net, to have the characters at hand but without having to worry of the actors getting very expensive pay-checks.

But maybe, is also has a narrative motive to do this , now  I am back to the  question that phase four is the calm between storms , the big shake it up  that is coming and we know it  it is the mutants and FF being in the MCU , but Feige said this is just comming in Phase Five ( I find this really sad, because then he loses the oportunity to use in Avengers Five, the roman numeral as  Avengers V X-Men, now he just have to used it the X of X-men). I don’t have a solid opinion besides they are holding the actors to something.

 Why? Feige is known by having famous storylines as just a base to the movies, remember when I said it  in the comics parts,  that every super-hero has  a panel that define who they are,  every fan hates it the one that Wanda has, is one of those moments that no character can overcome it unscarred, it also  is connected to the dissassemble of the Avengers,  and  the  original decimation (of mutants). and Feige after Dr. Strange, started saying that Wanda uses magic, maybe just to keep sinergy on brand, but he pointed out that she used it more chaotic, also don’t explain why every user of magic, use the gold one, and green one if is Loki, but she uses the red one. 

But Feige had a problem if he is doing the ground work for this, they made Wanda suffers a lot already, because she already lost it the brother, she had to lose it Vision in Infinity War  to Edgame to Happen, so how to set it up this, but in a way that it  can work if  you want to use it in the future , but without seems that it’s comming from nothing, you need time , more time that one movie has, you know what I’m saying it,

They using Wanda as literally as a time-bomb and using the series to set it up. and i hate this because  it can works both ways, make the series, about she learning more about the powers  and bring back Vision , blow it up in her face, boom here  is the  set it up, that can be explained it really fast in a movie, ends in a happy note,  in the movie, they just need explain well she was happy and then boom tragedy is a no win situation. 

Also  last businness tihings, how these series are being made it really show that it’s more about  Marvel with the ideas, because  most of the series already existed as a concept even  before the showrunners became involve, and in Wandavision in particular,  she don’t have experience as a showrunner, but  the marvel machine works very well, so I not so much worried about that.

The Concept Art

  So we just have the description about the art, but just say it that they are using 50′s type of Clothes. No, I don’t believe, they use time travel, but it’s more a asthetic choice, because the image of suburb that we have is still predominantly of  the 50′s, white fence, big house, so this other thing to contrast with them, they stand out.

Conclusion

So with this information, I can predict that the series will focus really on Wanda, and her powers, it will be in the suburbs with a 50′s asthethics, it will be more The Scarlet Witch and The Vision than Tom King’s Vision, but  changing the melodrama and  conecting the B-Movies threats of the first  to a more sophisticated but soft psychological thriller  of the latter, but still with a romance in the mix. and that Wanda will be back in the movies after the series. This are the things that I see the MCU doing it, not what I wanted them to do it.

[jaymarawrites-blog]

LIKE RATS - 9 - Grease Paint

Echo Eclipse had made themselves comfortable in the cramped dressing room. I didn’t know them yet, not even well enough to match the person to the instrument, but I’d developed visual mnemonics to differentiate. The one whose head was shaved underneath a long sweep of brown hair and the one with the round face sat in folding chairs, hunched over a phone, sharing earbuds. The small one was sprawled out on a ripped leather couch, playing a game on his phone. The young one stood in front of the wall-sized mirror smearing his arms in black grease paint.

Chris was squatting on the floor when I entered the room, hunched over a pile of bags and rumpled clothing, drinking from a bottled water. I knocked on the open door to avoid having to announce myself.

I couldn’t find a place for my hands on his body that felt natural when Chris greeted me with a casual hug; he was so tall, so long in the torso. I couldn’t reach around his neck easily but I avoided hugging him around the waist. I lifted my arms underneath his and pressed my palms between his shoulder blades, into his sleeveless T-shirt.

He reintroduced me to the rest of the band, which I appreciated. I’d only recently been able to recognize the band to tell them apart from the crew, and I was shit with names.

Kyle with the round face shared earbuds with Adrian with the long sweep of hair.

Tyler, smearing black over his body, smiled at me in the mirror.

Smith gave a single wave without looking up from his phone.

None of them paid further attention to me.

I shoved my makeup case onto a folding table amid Subway sandwiches, loose cords, tape, and bottled water.

“You brought makeup?” Chris asked.

“It’s my job.”

“Right.”

I gestured at the sleeveless tee he wore. “This is what you’re wearing onstage?”

“Nah, I got another one I’ll put on afterward.”

“You should put it on now. I don’t want you smearing your makeup or getting it on your shirt.”

He shrugged, opening his palms to me. “It’s usually fine.”

“Look, am I doing this or not?” I half-smiled to hide slight exasperation.

“O-kay,” he drew out in concession. “I guess we’ll do it professionally then.”

Chris pulled the sleeveless tee over his head, tugging it over his face by the front collar and pulling the back collar all the way over his head. I caught inked plumage along his ribs before averting my eyes. I stared hard at a snag in the gray-green carpet though my attention remained on his skin; my eyes focused on the floor but saw only skin rippling over his ribs.

“Can I sit here?” he asked, now wearing a black sleeveless tee that wasn’t much different from the first, placing himself in a plastic avocado-colored chair in the middle of the room. “Since the smallest fucking person here is taking up the largest piece of furniture?” he called louder, reaching over and smacking the toe of one of Smith’s black boots with his massive palm.

Again without taking his eyes off of his phone, Smith saluted him with a middle finger.

“You’re fine if you sit up straight.”

Chris rolled his shoulders back and sat on the edge of the chair, at seated attention. I unrolled the fabric case I’d tucked my brushes into, unzipped my pouch and started pulling out the various tubes, jars, and palettes.

He gestured at my set-up. “Did you study this or something? Like, go to cosmetology school and turn someone’s hair purple?”

“Only if they wanted it. Put this around your neck.” I threw one of Michael’s old towels at Chris before dabbing my fingers into the blue-tinted primer. I started in the middle of his face, underneath one cheekbone.

“No, actually, it’s all kind of self-taught trial and error kind of stuff. Now there are all these tutorials on YouTube, it’s easy. I’m old enough that I just missed all that. I had to learn by making myself look like Pennywise a few hundred times first.” I finished adding primer to his forehead, then continued on to his chin.

“I hope you’re done learning then.”

“Never,” I snorted. “I promise not to learn too much on you, though.”

I screwed the top back onto the primer and Chris maneuvered in his chair trying to see his face in the mirror, past Tyler smoothing the black paint over his neck.

“There’s nothing to really see yet. It’s just primer.”

He sank back down into the chair. “I don’t know what that is. I definitely never used it before.”

I poured foundation onto the back of my hand. “It’s just like getting your face ready for everything else. It helps it stay on better. Sit up.”

“I don’t use brushes when I do this either,” he said, noticing the brush I’d swirled through the foundation before I began buffing it over his nose.

“Can you do some kind of makeup magic to make my nose look smaller?”

I smiled despite myself. “You don’t want that. Your nose is fine.”

He was quiet for a moment while I buffed the foundation around his lips. I buffed around his forehead and temples and he asked, “Does this mean if this goes well you’ll do my makeup again?”

“I’m certainly not going anywhere. Close your eyes.” I dusted some iridescent eyeshadow over one lid.

“How did you get suckered into doing this again if you’ve done it once already? I mean, how did you fall for this if you already know what touring is like?”

Now the other lid.

“The bus helps.” I feared it was an obvious lie.

“Enough?”

“It helps.”

I began coloring in one eyelid with a black eyeliner pencil and jumped when Kyle suddenly roared with laughter over the phone.

“What are they watching?”

“Martyrs.”

“Oh?”

Chris waved one hand dismissively and opened his eyes while I reached for a stiffer brush to rub in the eyeliner. “Yeah, there’s something wrong with him.”

“Let me believe it’s the American remake and I can forgive the laughter.”

He closed his eyes again while I worked. “No shit, though, I wish we had a bus with a shower and all. I’ve definitely had a set or two that were pretty ripe because we didn’t make it to the next stop in time for a shower.”

“That sounds miserable.”

I suddenly flashed to Erica Jong’s so-called “zipless fuck” and the Fear of Flying heroine’s desire for the artist even after seeing the skidmarks in his underwear.

Chris continued, “And there’s been times when I did shows in the same clothes without washing them, worn the same makeup the next night.”

“Good thing you’re in a band. The glamor overrides the smell, I assume.”

“I hope?”

“I mean, I’m sure it doesn’t bother the Echo Eclipse groupies.” I wasn’t exactly sure whether or not Echo Eclipse even had groupies, but surveyed the face in front of me and thought that they must.

Chris laughed good-naturedly, showing his teeth. “Groupies? I don’t think any band had groupies since the eighties. I know we don’t.”

“None at all?”

“No way. ‘Stans’ sure, a few. But nowadays it’s like you never heard of a band, you basically follow them on tour, or they’re getting a restraining order against you.”

“Any restraining orders, then?”

“Someday, maybe,” he said, comically wistful.

I began blending a darker brownish shadow into the crease of one eye.

“What about you?”

“What?” I stepped back, puzzled.

He opened his eyes again. “Any stalkers? Isn’t that a thing?”

“I’m a woman in the internet age and I’m married to Michael March.”

“Too many to count, then.”

He shut his eyes as I began blending again. “But a fraction as many as Michael, and mine are a little less scary.”

“Yeah? I can’t even think about the shit he must see over the years.”

“The young ones are some of the scariest, too, which is funny since he’s in his forties. He likes to say that in the beginning, before all this social media, the worst thing a fan did was cry or scream or try to forcibly kiss him at a signing, and that’s a relief now.”

“Yeah.”

“But we disagree about the worst thing a fan has done.”

“What is it?”

“I think the worst thing fans do is when they cut themselves and send Michael their razors. Before we met he actually received an envelope once, but it was tucked inside a small, like, courier envelope. The envelope inside was brown all over, just covered in blood. Michael didn’t handle it himself, obviously, but they told him the bloody razor was inside and a Polaroid of where this fan had carved ‘Michael’ into her arm. Big ropey scabs.”

Chris was silent for a moment, then said, “Not the point, but with all that blood how could they make out the Polaroid? Didn’t the blood mess up the picture?”

“I said the same thing! We actually had a big fight about it when we were dating. I laughed at the fact that it was obviously staged, not like some fan put this together in an act of desperation. And I swear to God it’s like he was insulted! He got all mad at me for like interpreting his life or something like that. But that was the most offensive part to me: the fact that it was all kind of staged like that. So manipulative. This person’s desire to create this scenario was more offensive to me than if it had been real.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty sick.”

“Right?”

“So what does Michael think is the worst thing a fan has done?”

I rolled my eyes and reached for the eyeliner again, this time to line his eyes. “This has happened more than once, but sending used panties in the mail.”

“That’s some Motley Crue shit.”

“It definitely happens. Like, still.”

“Do you think they ever just buy them and send them, or do you think it’s real? Like, do you think they really wear them around and send them?”

“Some of them, absolutely. Some actually arrive crusty.”

Chris widened his eyes.

“Stop, I don’t want to poke you. One fan sent these crusty panties - like crust dusting the envelope and everything - and I swear to God the smell will stay with me forever. But that wasn’t even the worst part! She included this letter that was just a detailed description of her maturbating to the ‘Solace in Silence’ video, but it went on for three pages.”

“Most of the time I couldn’t fill a postcard.” He shrugged and I couldn’t help laughing. “That’s pretty groty, though. I’m surprised you’re not as bothered by that as he is, or more bothered by that than the bloody razor.”

“Oh, God no. I don’t care about the panties. I totally get it.”

“You get it?”

“Fuck, yes.”

“Really.”

“Absolutely.” I lifted the lid on the loose translucent powder and grabbed the fluffiest brush. “I get the idea about being absolutely infatuated and having no outlet for it. I get being so tortured by these unrequited feelings, and you feel like you’re going to burst, and it’s so ridiculous and impossible that all you want is for them to know. And it builds to the point that you want to make it known in the biggest, bravest way possible, make as much of an impression as you can. And making an impression on a celebrity isn’t easy. If I were them, I would’ve done the same thing.”

“Too bad you’re not an Echo Eclipse fan, then,” he smirked.

“Who says I’m not?”

“What, you did your homework for the tour or something?”

“I did my homework for your makeup. I’m into it. The videos are intense.”

Chris released a breath that was half laugh and half embarrassed sigh.

“No, stop for a second so I can do your lips.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“That’s still talking.”

He parted his lips obediently. I ran a liquid black over his lips, tipping the silver rings in his lower lip first one way, then the next. I painted under his two rings with a lipliner brush. His lower lip was full and I was careful to cover it all before making clean edges. I made points at his cupid’s bow and slid carefully along his upper lip, and without thinking I glanced up at his closed eyes. When they opened on me I looked away quickly.

“One more thing.” I pulled a tissue from my purse and draped it over his lips, then brushed more of the loose powder over the tissue. “It should stay better like that. But let me know if I need to touch it up.”

“So you’ll be around then? Are you going to watch our set?”

I hadn’t thought about it, but now I suppressed a smile. “I can do that if I’m won’t be in the way.”

“If there’s room for randos that won radio contests there’s room for you. I’ll be all high-maintenance, like ‘I need my makeup artist on standby.’”

I laughed.

“So I’m finished then?”

“You should be good.”

Chris jumped out of his chair and elbowed Tyler out of the way to study his face in the mirror. I cringed as I noticed Tyler smearing the black grease paint around his eyes. Chris widened and narrowed his blackened eyes, stretched the skin over his upper lip and examined either side of his nose in the mirror, then sneered.

“This is sick.” He turned back to me and laughed, delighted, and his teeth were shockingly white against his black lips. “This is fucking sick!”

~~~

Begin at the beginning: LIKE RATS - Prologue

[x-reader-theater]

Once Upon a Dream...

Relationship: Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Summary: He wasn’t just a stranger to you. You met him before, once upon a dream...

Warnings: None really, seeing as it’s based off a disney movie XD

Word Count: 2,921 Sorry it’s so short! I cut out a lot of stuff!

A/N: And here it is! The first disney remake I’m doing. This is based off of @spider-boi​‘s Cinderella AU. It’s just so great and I loved it so much, and you should totally check it out, but these next few works were inspired by their work, but I will not be doing a cinderella AU because that can be seen as plagerism and theft, and I do not want to take anything away from them. If you couldn’t tell by the title already, this is inspired by Sleeping Beauty, and I will be doing an entire series on disney Tom Holland AUs. Anyways, as I always say, like, reblog, and tell me what to write next! <3

Your parents loved you.

From the moment you were born, you were the most amazing creature to ever smile on this Earth. In honor of your birth, they threw the largest celebration the kingdom’s ever seen. Everyone who was anyone came to see you and give you their blessings.

Everyone was invited. Everyone, except one.

It was a wonderful celebration. Everyone was dancing, and happy, and having a lovely time, when the three most gorgeous women appeared in the High Court of the [Y/L/N], with dresses made of love and wings made of light.

They descended from the rafters, floating down on magic and happiness, and the woman in red spoke first.

“I am Zendaya. The wisest of my sisters. We have come for the ceremony,” she says, smiling at you in your cradle.

Another sister speaks, and this one is in blue. “And I am Laura, the strongest of my sisters. We have come to bless your child,” she says, smiling at your parents.

Finally, the last sister speaks, this one in green. “And I am Marisa, the smartest of my sisters. We have come to give you gifts like you’ve never seen before,” she says, smiling at the crowd.

Your father, King Robert the Second of house Downey, smiles at your mother, Queen Gwyneth, who nods at the fairies, inviting them to approach the throne.

They float down and land in front of the king and queen, bowing, and looking expectantly, waiting to talk. Both royals nod and Zendaya steps up to your crib, giving you a warm smile and a small laugh.

“For my gift, your daughter shall be given the gift of beauty. There shall be none more beautiful than her,” Zendaya says, pulling out her wand and tapping it to your forehead. You giggle and grab for it, but she takes it away quickly before you can break it.

She steps aside as Laura approaches your cradle. She pulls out her wand and does a little glitter spell, making you gurgle in delight, reaching for the glitter that dissolves once it touches your skin. “For my gift, she shall receive the gift of song. No voice will be as skilled and loved as hers,” Laura states, touching her wand to your forehead. A light shimmers over you for a moment, before disappearing.

Finally, Marissa steps forward, brushing her fingers along your face gently, so as not to hurt you. “And for my gift little one-” she begins to say, before she’s cut off by a large crack of lightning striking down in the center of the ballroom. “Oh no! Maleficent!” She says, and the three sisters are stunned, watching as a woman appears in a cloud of Ravens feathers.

She was hauntingly beautiful, with deep set eyes and beautiful, full, dark red lips, perfectly accentuating the detailing on her gorgeous black robes, aligned with gold and crow feathers of her own. She was the epitome of a dark beauty, and she was here for revenge.

“Don’t take another step!” Your father roars, drawing his sword and pointing it at the dark fairy. She just scoffs and flicks her hand, sending the sword flying out of his hand and into a wood support.

“You know, I was displeased to hear you left me out of your invitations to the ball you were having in honor of your daughter. I wanted so bad to meet her at last, after all I’ve heard about her. It’s a pity really that it’s come to this,” she says, taking a step closer, and everyone tenses.

“What do you mean?” Your mother demands, standing up next to your father. Maleficent takes another two steps.

“Why, revenge of course!” She says all too cheerily. She takes another few steps. “And as the saying goes…” She approaches your bassinet. “Revenge is a dish best served cold!” She yells, throwing her hands and staff into the sky. A strong cloud brews above her. “When she turns the age of twenty one, on her birthday, she will prick her finger on a spinning wheel, and DIE!” She screams, and another flash of lightning strike down. Your bassinet is covered in crow feathers, which disappear as she does in her cloud of dark feathers.

Everyone looks jostles by the events that just took place, and Marissa sighs, stepping forward towards the king and queen. “If I may, your highnesses, I would like to give the child my gift.” The king nods and she moves to where you were, crying your eyes out as loudly as you possibly could. She picks you up, and you stop crying almost instantly, sniffling. “I would like to give the child the possibility of a long life, but I cannot undo what has be done, but I can change it,” Marissa explains. “The gift I give you child, is you shall not be killed by this curse set upon you, but merely put to sleep. The only thing that can wake you is a kiss from your true love.”

“What have you named her?” Zendaya asks and the king smiles at his queen.

“We have called her, [Y\N],” he says and the queen smiles at you in the fairy’s arms.

The king and queen still look scared, but less so. There was hope for you yet.

The next day, all the spinning wheels in the kingdom were burned, and you were giving to the fairies to take care of you, and keep you hidden until the day after you turned twenty one.

Until then, you would never see your father or mother, until the day you turned twenty on and a day.

“Oh Aunt May, isn’t it exciting! I’m turning twenty one soon! I can meet my parents!” You exclaim, dancing and twirling 'round the small cottage, just barely avoiding your Aunts, who also happened to be magic.

“Yes I know dear, it’s very exciting, but we’re working on something special for you. We need you to…” she trails off and you see out the corner of your eye, Zendaya grabbing a basket.

“Pick some berries for us!” She says, holding out the basket to you. You take it hesitantly, very confused.

“But I just picked berries yesterday!” You exclaim and Laura scoffs.

“And yet we need more, so run along!” She orders, all but pushing you out the door. You are handed a wrap to keep you warm, but other than that, you were left by yourself in the woods.

You very much enjoyed the woods, the way it smelled, the way you always found something to do, the way it felt like home. The woods were one of the only places you felt happiest. Also the fact that you always had a certain connection with the animals of the forest always helped lighten you mood.

You sing a tune you barely remember from your childhood, a beautiful melody you could sometimes hear one of your aunts humming.

You sang to the birds who repeated it back to you.

Once you started singing more, the rest of the forest started to finally wake up, and more and more creatures surrounded you, wanting to hear your sweet voice sing beautiful tunes.

You sit on the roots of one of the large trees, humming to yourself now, and watch as one of the birds cuddles up with another, and you smile sadly. “I wonder…” you think aloud. “why every little bird has someone to sing to.” You hold your finger out, and a little bird perches there, singing you a sweet tune. “Will I ever be a to find someone who sings like that to me? Who will give me a love I’ve so longed for?” You shake your head, and the bird flies away. You put your arm down. “I wonder…”

You get up and sing another sweet little tune, dancing steps that you made up in your room because you were bored. You dance along to music of your own making, before stopping at a branch, face to face with the animals.

“Oh but I have met someone,” you say and if animals could, they would be looking at you expectedly. “He’s no one you know.” You wave it off and stand in the center of the circle of trees. “I met him, once upon a dream!”

You hum a song and sing words you heard before, but not knowing where.

“I know you, I walked with you, Once Upon a dream!” You dance around, enjoying the company of your animal friends. “I know you,that gleam in your eyes, is so familiar a gleam!” You slow down a bit, but your feet stay the same pace, allowing for more intricate movement, but still be as beautiful as you hoped it was. “Yet I know it's true, that visions are seldom what they seem!” You feel sadder at the lyrics, everything slowing down. “But if I know you, I know what you do! You'll love me at once, the way-” You immediately stop, the sound of a another voice, a male’s voice! jolting you from your dream like awakeness.

“You did once upon a dream!” You gasp and pull away from him, but he still a hand gripping yours. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you love!” He says and you shake your head, trying to pull away. “I do not want to hurt you! I simply want to talk to you!” He calls out after you, for you had managed to slip his grasp.

You hide behind a tree, not the smartest spot in your opinion, but you were thinking fast, and on the spot. Your heart starts to slow down again, but he come around the corner, smiling at your with his perfect smile. His beautiful brown eyes and soft looking hair were intoxicating, and his scent was drowning, but you loved it. It was like magic, even thought this was real.

“Please, I just want to talk, dance, maybe hear you sing with that sweet voice of yours once more!” He exclaims and you slowly nod your head, holding out your hand for him to grab.

You pulls you out into another grassy clearing, and you giggle as he spins and twirls you around to no music, so you decide to give him some. Humming that tune again, you were immersed back into the moment, this time with your actual prince, and not the one of your imagination.

You spent hours dancing, singing, and talking, while overlooking the castle only a few miles away from where you currently were. The time spent with him was the most wonderful thing you had ever done, and in those few short hours, you had fallen in love.

You loved this man and you didn’t even know his name.

“What’s your name?” He asks, but you don’t respond. You were too busy looking at his handsome face. Well, you had no way to judge relatively of what’s handsome and what isn’t. But you could say he was very beautiful.

You shake yourself out of it and blush. “Oh-oh! My-my name. My name is… well…” You look out over the castle and see the sun setting. Your eyes widen. “I have to go!”

Wait!” He goes to grab your arm but you slip away, running towards your belongings. “Will I ever see you again?”

You stop and turn towards him for a moment, yelling, “No! Yes! I don’t know!” You pick up your empty basket and cloak. “Meet me at the cottage just down this path at night fall! You’ll see me then!” And with that you run off, back to your home, leaving a stunned, and a lovestruck Prince Thomas standing there, longing to see you once more.

You all but run back to the cabin, a grin on your face as you push through the door. “Aunt May! Zendaya! Laura!” You yell into the cabin. In place of your fairies, you see a beautiful blue dress, and a gorgeous cake. “Oh my!”

“Surprise!” the yell, coming out of their hiding spots.

“Oh Marissa, Laura, Zendaya, this is so lovely, but I met someone!” You exclaim, a lovestruck look in your eyes.

“You… met a stranger?” Marissa asks and you nod.

“Well he isn’t a stranger!” You say and Laura does a double take.

“Him?!” She exclaims.

“Oh yes! I met him. Once upon a dream!” You say, dancing around the room, humming the familiar tune. You smile and laugh as you sing, and the fairies just look at each other sadly.

“She’s in love,” Marissa says and the other two nod sadly.

“Love, we have something to tell you…” Zendaya says, placing a hand on your shoulder. You stop dancing and look at her. “You are engaged to be married.”

Your face drops. “What?”

“When you were born…” Laura says, almost hesitantly. “You were betrothed to the prince of another kingdom. You’ve been engaged to be married to Prince Thomas.”

“But I’m twenty one! Can’t I do what I want?!” You yell, tears starting to slip from your eyes.

“This has always been. Nothing can change it,” Zendaya says and you shake your head.

“Tonight we’re bringing you back to the castle to meet your parents princess,” Marissa says and you have your head.

“No! He’s supposed to come here tonight!” You beg and they all look down.

“I’m sorry princess but it can not be,” Laura says softly, going to touch you, but you flinch away, running up to your room and collapsing on your bed, sobbing.

“What are we gonna do?” Zendaya asks and they shake their heads. For the first time in their lives, they didn’t know what to do.

Before the sun set on the evening of your birthday, you were escorted out of the woods and to the castle, up to the tallest tower of the stone walled castle. You sit at the desk, starting at the wall, still crying, the crown on your head feeling heavier than before, like it was a curse rather than a blessing. Zendaya goes to pet your hair, but you jerk away, crying into your arms.

They quietly walk out of the room, and you could hear the door click behind you. Suddenly, the fire in your tower goes out, and replaced by a green light. You look up, and are enraptured by it, unable to look away.

Following it through the now open fireplace, you go up and down flights of stairs, through winding passageways, and you hear someone calling your name over and over again, but you were too enraptured by the light to pay attention.

You enter a room and see a beautiful spinning wheel appear out of thin air. Going to touch it, you hear, “DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING!”

But another voice calls to you, “Do it! Touch the needle!” You reach your hand out, feel a prick, and everything goes black.

You feel something press against your lips and you feel everything come back to life, and you blink awake smiling at the man who brought you back, your one true love. Prince Thomas.

“Welcome back love,” he whispers and you sit up straight.

“Prince Thomas,” you say and he chuckles, shaking his head.

“Please, it’s Tom, princess,” he says and you smile at him.

“Then you call me [Y/N],” you say and he nods.

He kisses you again, and when he pulls back, he’s chuckling. “What?” You ask.

“Well, I did just escape a dungeon, cut through miles of bramble, and kill a dragon in the span of a few hours.”

You look at him, shocked. “You killed a dragon for me?”

“I would do anything for you, love,” he says and you smile. “Come now. Your family is waiting for you.”  

He helps you up and you grab his arm, walking down the stairs to the ballroom, where your father and mother are waiting. You walk up to the throne, and they look shocked, not just to see you, but to see you and Tom together.

You bow, and quickly run up to them, enveloping them in a large hug. Pulling away, you hear a familiar tune, yours and Tom’s tune. You run over and pull him to the dancefloor. You spin and twirl around each other, and Tom chuckles.

“What?” You asked, confused.

“Your dress…” he trails off. “It’s pink now.”

You look down, and sure enough, it was. “Hm. I think I know who's responsible.” You shrug and continue dancing.

“Now it’s blue again, and pink, and blue, and pink and-” you shush Tom, just staring up at him.

“That doesn’t matter right now. What matters is us, right here, right now,” you say and he smiles, kissing you,while not breaking any movement.

There it was, the moment of meeting, once upon a dream.

[cheshirehunshine]

11 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @heart-attack-harry @roseonhissleeve @loveyooumeanit and @whoopsharrystyles. Thank you all for tagging me!! This took me a while because I had to answer 44 questions instead of 11 lol

Rules:

1. Always post these rules. 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people.

I tag @theharrystyleseffect @harryslovelylocks @thereignofsoloharry @stylishmuser @stylesinthewild @stylesunchained @stylessemantics @harryschancla @aqua-harry @rosyharry @wdmsusie (you don’t have to read all my answers though- the questions for you are at the end)

Ok here it goes:

Court’s questions:

1. What is one 1D song that you think Harry would sound great singing himself?

Any of them lol but I would like him to kill me singing Temporary Fix all by himself

2. What time do you get up in the mornings?

Between 9 and 10 am

3. If you could do one of the following with Harry, which would you choose: write a song with him, sing a song with him, or play an instrument in his band?

My non-artistic soul can’t do any of those things but I guess I’d like to learn to play the piano and play it with him. The two of us on the same piano ;)

4. If you could cast Harry in another movie, what kind of role would it be?

A remake of ET. He would be the martian of course.

5. Are you a gold or silver person?

I like both but I have more silver accessories

6. What is your go-to lunch?

It varies but there’s always rice involved

7. Favorite decade of music?

Wow this is hard! 70′s and 90′s (couldn’t choose one)

8. Favorite memory with a friend?

When I visited a friend that lived in another city and we spent all the nights watching Friends and eating oreos

9. Name a person, band, movie, song, etc. that you think is overrated.

Justin Bieber, Halsey, The Chainsmokers. 

10. Did you pre-order Harry’s album? If so, what version?

The limited edition of the CD with the hardbook

11. Most romantic thing someone has done for you?

Taking me to Machu Picchu

Yeli’s:

1. What are three things that you are proud of?

Graduating from college, having people who loves me for who I am, being able to forgive almost anything

2. If you could learn how to sing/perform one song perfectly, what song would it be?

“I will survive”, I want to be able to scream those lines without breaking glasses :)

3. If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?

I can’t remember rn from which movie is this character (maybe x-men), but I guess I’d have the superpower to contol everyone else’s emotions, like some kind of telepathy to ease their minds 

4. Do you have any tattoos/do you want any tattoos? Tell us about them.

I don’t have any but I’d like to get Harry’s sparrows on my shoulders

5. Where do you go when you need to think?

Somewhere calm and green

6. What is your favorite Disney/animated movie?

Alice in Wonderland

7. What is your favorite book & why?

The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende. Idk why I just feel kind of a connection with it. I could read it a thousand times and always find a different interpretation of it.

8. What is a song that not a lot of people know that you wish was more popular?

“Somewhere only we know” by Lily Allen. It’s a cover but she did it 1000x times better than the original. I’ve always believed she’s underrated

9. Where do you get your inspiration?

From music mostly

10. What makes you happy?

My friends, my family, music, Harry :)

11. Why are you a 1D fan?

I’m not lol I found Harry after the hiatus and here I am still...

Laura’s:

1. What’s your favorite outfit on Harry?

He can use almost anything and still look like a prince, but I found recently that I love seeing him with comfy clothes like big sweaters, hoodies or simple plain t-shirts

2. If you could go anywhere in the world right now where would you go?

London and I’d never come back :)

3. Have you ever seen 1D in concert? If so what was your favorite part?

I haven’t :(

4. Are you a night owl or early bird?

I’m both actually, don’t have preferences

5. What was your first thought about SOTT?

WOW. And then I wanted to cry.

6. Dream job?

Haven’t figured that out yet

7. What’s your favorite movie?

Wow it changes constantly. Rn I think it’s “Into the wild”

8. Favorite Harry interview ever?

The one for Rolling Stone

9. Are you shy or outgoing?

It depends on the situation but I’m generally outgoing

10. One thing you’ve always wanted to do?

Travel around the world

11. What’s your favorite planet?

Harry’s one 

Dawn’s:

1.   Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

My future self (didn’t expect that one huh?)

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

NO WAY. I couldn’t handle the exposition and being in everybody’s mouth and having to read people critizing me and making up shit about me and observing my every move... no thanks

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

I’ve never done this actually

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

Since my life has been so dull lately, a perfect day would be a productive one

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

Today, I sing for myself everyday and my unfortunate sister who lives with me has to hear it

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

The mind (why would I want to look young at 90??). But I wouldn’t like to need diapers though..

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Wow I believed I was the only one who thought about this...it’s scary to say this for the 1st time but I have this feeling I’ll die young, but I REALLY hope I’m wrong! (maybe it’s just my paranoia)(I hope)(I don’t wanna die young)

8. What are the five things that you are most thankful for right now?

Having my family supporting me no matter what, having food and somewhere to live, having friends who help make my days better, having Harry and my harries who also contribute a lot to my happiness, and having education which I hope will be useful someday :)

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

Everything. I’m just grateful I’m alive and well and loved by many

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Nothing. My parents did their best to raise two strong, kind, clever, grateful, healthy, loving daughters and they did a great job I think :)

11. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

JOB EXPERIENCE TO BE HIRED SOMEWHERE JDKFVKSGVMS (or maybe traveling to the future, I’d love that)

My questions:

Who’s your role model?

What’s something you want to accomplish in the short term?

What would you like to ask Harry?

If you could travel through time once and then come back, would you prefer to travel to the past or the future? Why?

Where’s your favorite place you’ve been to?

Would you like to get married and have kids someday?

Do you have a motto you live by?

Have you ever been in love? Are you now?

Which song reminds you of some time/someone/something very important to you?

Do you pay attention to fashion trends?

If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?

[readbookywooks]

26 Out in the hall, I find Paylor standing in exactly the same spot. "Did you find what you were looking for?" she asks. I hold up the white bud in answer and then stumble past her. I must have made it back to my room, because the next thing I know, I'm filling a glass with water from the bathroom faucet and sticking the rose in it. I sink to my knees on the cold tile and squint at the flower, as the whiteness seems hard to focus on in the stark fluorescent light. My finger catches the inside of my bracelet, twisting it like a tourniquet, hurting my wrist. I'm hoping the pain will help me hang on to reality the way it did for Peeta. I must hang on. I must know the truth about what has happened. There are two possibilities, although the details associated with them may vary. First, as I've believed, that the Capitol sent in that hovercraft, dropped the parachutes, and sacrificed its children's lives, knowing the recently arrived rebels would go to their aid. There's evidence to support this. The Capitol's seal on the hovercraft, the lack of any attempt to blow the enemy out of the sky, and their long history of using children as pawns in their battle against the districts. Then there's Snow's account. That a Capitol hovercraft manned by rebels bombed the children to bring a speedy end to the war. But if this was the case, why didn't the Capitol fire on the enemy? Did the element of surprise throw them? Had they no defenses left? Children are precious to 13, or so it has always seemed. Well, not me, maybe. Once I had outlived my usefulness, I was expendable. Although I think it's been a long time since I've been considered a child in this war. And why would they do it knowing their own medics would likely respond and be taken out by the second blast? They wouldn't. They couldn't. Snow's lying. Manipulating me as he always has. Hoping to turn me against the rebels and possibly destroy them. Yes. Of course. Then what's nagging at me? Those double-exploding bombs, for one. It's not that the Capitol couldn't have the same weapon, it's just that I'm sure the rebels did. Gale and Beetee's brainchild. Then there's the fact that Snow made no escape attempt, when I know him to be the consummate survivor. It seems hard to believe he didn't have a retreat somewhere, some bunker stocked with provisions where he could live out the rest of his snaky little life. And finally, there's his assessment of Coin. What's irrefutable is that she's done exactly what he said. Let the Capitol and the districts run one another into the ground and then sauntered in to take power. Even if that was her plan, it doesn't mean she dropped those parachutes. Victory was already in her grasp. Everything was in her grasp. Except me. I recall Boggs's response when I admitted I hadn't put much thought into Snow's successor. "If your immediate answer isn't Coin, then you're a threat. You're the face of the rebellion. You may have more influence than any other single person. Outwardly, the most you've ever done is tolerated her." Suddenly, I'm thinking of Prim, who was not yet fourteen, not yet old enough to be granted the title of soldier, but somehow working on the front lines. How did such a thing happen? That my sister would have wanted to be there, I have no doubt. That she would be more capable than many older than she is a given. But for all that, someone very high up would have had to approve putting a thirteen-year-old in combat. Did Coin do it, hoping that losing Prim would push me completely over the edge? Or, at least, firmly on her side? I wouldn't even have had to witness it in person. Numerous cameras would be covering the City Circle. Capturing the moment forever. No, now I am going crazy, slipping into some state of paranoia. Too many people would know of the mission. Word would get out. Or would it? Who would have to know besides Coin, Plutarch, and a small, loyal or easily disposable crew? I badly need help working this out, only everyone I trust is dead. Cinna. Boggs. Finnick. Prim. There's Peeta, but he couldn't do any more than speculate, and who knows what state his mind's in, anyway. And that leaves only Gale. He's far away, but even if he were beside me, could I confide in him? What could I say, how could I phrase it, without implying that it was his bomb that killed Prim? The impossibility of that idea, more than any, is why Snow must be lying. Ultimately, there's only one person to turn to who might know what happened and might still be on my side. To broach the subject at all will be a risk. But while I think Haymitch might gamble with my life in the arena, I don't think he'd rat me out to Coin. Whatever problems we may have with each other, we prefer resolving our differences one-on-one. I scramble off the tiles, out the door, and across the hall to his room. When there's no response to my knock, I push inside. Ugh. It's amazing how quickly he can defile a space. Half-eaten plates of food, shattered liquor bottles, and pieces of broken furniture from a drunken rampage scatter his quarters. He lies, unkempt and unwashed, in a tangle of sheets on the bed, passed out. "Haymitch," I say, shaking his leg. Of course, that's insufficient. But I give it a few more tries before I dump the pitcher of water in his face. He comes to with a gasp, slashing blindly with his knife. Apparently, the end of Snow's reign didn't equal the end of his terror. "Oh. You," he says. I can tell by his voice that he's still loaded. "Haymitch," I begin. "Listen to that. The Mockingjay found her voice." He laughs. "Well, Plutarch's going to be happy." He takes a swig from a bottle. "Why am I soaking wet?" I lamely drop the pitcher behind me into a pile of dirty clothes. "I need your help," I say. Haymitch belches, filling the air with white liquor fumes. "What is it, sweetheart? More boy trouble?" I don't know why, but this hurts me in a way Haymitch rarely can. It must show on my face, because even in his drunken state, he tries to take it back. "Okay, not funny." I'm already at the door. "Not funny! Come back!" By the thud of his body hitting the floor, I assume he tried to follow me, but there's no point. I zigzag through the mansion and disappear into a wardrobe full of silken things. I yank them from hangers until I have a pile and then burrow into it. In the lining of my pocket, I find a stray morphling tablet and swallow it dry, heading off my rising hysteria. It's not enough to right things, though. I hear Haymitch calling me in the distance, but he won't find me in his condition. Especially not in this new spot. Swathed in silk, I feel like a caterpillar in a cocoon awaiting metamorphosis. I always supposed that to be a peaceful condition. At first it is. But as I journey into night, I feel more and more trapped, suffocated by the slippery bindings, unable to emerge until I have transformed into something of beauty. I squirm, trying to shed my ruined body and unlock the secret to growing flawless wings. Despite enormous effort, I remain a hideous creature, fired into my current form by the blast from the bombs. The encounter with Snow opens the door to my old repertoire of nightmares. It's like being stung by tracker jackers again. A wave of horrifying images with a brief respite I confuse with waking - only to find another wave knocking me back. When the guards finally locate me, I'm sitting on the floor of the wardrobe, tangled in silk, screaming my head off. I fight them at first, until they convince me they're trying to help, peel away the choking garments, and escort me back to my room. On the way, we pass a window and I see a gray, snowy dawn spreading across the Capitol. A very hungover Haymitch waits with a handful of pills and a tray of food that neither of us has the stomach for. He makes a feeble attempt to get me to talk again but, seeing it's pointless, sends me to a bath someone has drawn. The tub's deep, with three steps to the bottom. I ease down into the warm water and sit, up to my neck in suds, hoping the medicines kick in soon. My eyes focus on the rose that has spread its petals overnight, filling the steamy air with its strong perfume. I rise and reach for a towel to smother it, when there's a tentative knock and the bathroom door opens, revealing three familiar faces. They try to smile at me, but even Venia can't conceal her shock at my ravaged mutt body. "Surprise!" Octavia squeaks, and then bursts into tears. I'm puzzling over their reappearance when I realize that this must be it, the day of the execution. They've come to prep me for the cameras. Remake me to Beauty Base Zero. No wonder Octavia's crying. It's an impossible task. They can barely touch my patchwork of skin for fear of hurting me, so I rinse and dry off myself. I tell them I hardly notice the pain anymore, but Flavius still winces as he drapes a robe around me. In the bedroom, I find another surprise. Sitting upright in a chair. Polished from her metallic gold wig to her patent leather high heels, gripping a clipboard. Remarkably unchanged except for the vacant look in her eyes. "Effie," I say. "Hello, Katniss." She stands and kisses me on the cheek as if nothing has occurred since our last meeting, the night before the Quarter Quell. "Well, it looks like we've got another big, big, big day ahead of us. So why don't you start your prep and I'll just pop over and check on the arrangements." "Okay," I say to her back. "They say Plutarch and Haymitch had a hard time keeping her alive," comments Venia under her breath. "She was imprisoned after your escape, so that helps." It's quite a stretch. Effie Trinket, rebel. But I don't want Coin killing her, so I make a mental note to present her that way if asked. "I guess it's good Plutarch kidnapped you three after all." "We're the only prep team still alive. And all the stylists from the Quarter Quell are dead," says Venia. She doesn't say who specifically killed them. I'm beginning to wonder if it matters. She gingerly takes one of my scarred hands and holds it out for inspection. "Now, what do you think for the nails? Red or maybe a jet black?" Flavius performs some beauty miracle on my hair, managing to even out the front while getting some of the longer locks to hide the bald spots in the back. My face, since it was spared from the flames, presents no more than the usual challenges. Once I'm in Cinna's Mockingjay suit, the only scars visible are on my neck, forearms, and hands. Octavia secures my Mockingjay pin over my heart and we step back to look in the mirror. I can't believe how normal they've made me look on the outside when inwardly I'm such a wasteland. There's a tap at the door and Gale steps in. "Can I have a minute?" he asks. In the mirror, I watch my prep team. Unsure of where to go, they bump into one another a few times and then closet themselves in the bathroom. Gale comes up behind me and we examine each other's reflection. I'm searching for something to hang on to, some sign of the girl and boy who met by chance in the woods five years ago and became inseparable. I'm wondering what would have happened to them if the Hunger Games had not reaped the girl. If she would have fallen in love with the boy, married him even. And sometime in the future, when the brothers and sisters had been raised up, escaped with him into the woods and left 12 behind forever. Would they have been happy, out in the wild, or would the dark, twisted sadness between them have grown up even without the Capitol's help? "I brought you this." Gale holds up a sheath. When I take it, I notice it holds a single, ordinary arrow. "It's supposed to be symbolic. You firing the last shot of the war." "What if I miss?" I say. "Does Coin retrieve it and bring it back to me? Or just shoot Snow through the head herself?" "You won't miss." Gale adjusts the sheath on my shoulder. We stand there, face-to-face, not meeting each other's eyes. "You didn't come see me in the hospital." He doesn't answer, so finally I just say it. "Was it your bomb?" "I don't know. Neither does Beetee," he says. "Does it matter? You'll always be thinking about it." He waits for me to deny it; I want to deny it, but it's true. Even now I can see the flash that ignites her, feel the heat of the flames. And I will never be able to separate that moment from Gale. My silence is my answer. "That was the one thing I had going for me. Taking care of your family," he says. "Shoot straight, okay?" He touches my cheek and leaves. I want to call him back and tell him that I was wrong. That I'll figure out a way to make peace with this. To remember the circumstances under which he created the bomb. Take into account my own inexcusable crimes. Dig up the truth about who dropped the parachutes. Prove it wasn't the rebels. Forgive him. But since I can't, I'll just have to deal with the pain. Effie comes in to usher me to some kind of meeting. I collect my bow and at the last minute remember the rose, glistening in its glass of water. When I open the door to the bathroom, I find my prep team sitting in a row on the edge of the tub, hunched and defeated. I remember I'm not the only one whose world has been stripped away. "Come on," I tell them. "We've got an audience waiting." I'm expecting a production meeting in which Plutarch instructs me where to stand and gives me my cue for shooting Snow. Instead, I find myself sent into a room where six people sit around a table. Peeta, Johanna, Beetee, Haymitch, Annie, and Enobaria. They all wear the gray rebel uniforms from 13. No one looks particularly well. "What's this?" I say. "We're not sure," Haymitch answers. "It appears to be a gathering of the remaining victors." "We're all that's left?" I ask. "The price of celebrity," says Beetee. "We were targeted from both sides. The Capitol killed the victors they suspected of being rebels. The rebels killed those thought to be allied with the Capitol." Johanna scowls at Enobaria. "So what's she doing here?" "She is protected under what we call the Mockingjay Deal," says Coin as she enters behind me. "Wherein Katniss Everdeen agreed to support the rebels in exchange for captured victors' immunity. Katniss has upheld her side of the bargain, and so shall we." Enobaria smiles at Johanna. "Don't look so smug," says Johanna. "We'll kill you anyway." "Sit down, please, Katniss," says Coin, closing the door. I take a seat between Annie and Beetee, carefully placing Snow's rose on the table. As usual, Coin gets right to the point. "I've asked you here to settle a debate. Today we will execute Snow. In the previous weeks, hundreds of his accomplices in the oppression of Panem have been tried and now await their own deaths. However, the suffering in the districts has been so extreme that these measures appear insufficient to the victims. In fact, many are calling for a complete annihilation of those who held Capitol citizenship. However, in the interest of maintaining a sustainable population, we cannot afford this." Through the water in the glass, I see a distorted image of one of Peeta's hands. The burn marks. We are both fire mutts now. My eyes travel up to where the flames licked across his forehead, singeing away his brows but just missing his eyes. Those same blue eyes that used to meet mine and then flit away at school. Just as they do now. "So, an alternative has been placed on the table. Since my colleagues and I can come to no consensus, it has been agreed that we will let the victors decide. A majority of four will approve the plan. No one may abstain from the vote," says Coin. "What has been proposed is that in lieu of eliminating the entire Capitol population, we have a final, symbolic Hunger Games, using the children directly related to those who held the most power." All seven of us turn to her. "What?" says Johanna. "We hold another Hunger Games using Capitol children," says Coin. "Are you joking?" asks Peeta. "No. I should also tell you that if we do hold the Games, it will be known it was done with your approval, although the individual breakdown of your votes will be kept secret for your own security," Coin tells us. "Was this Plutarch's idea?" asks Haymitch. "It was mine," says Coin. "It seemed to balance the need for vengeance with the least loss of life. You may cast your votes." "No!" bursts out Peeta. "I vote no, of course! We can't have another Hunger Games!" "Why not?" Johanna retorts. "It seems very fair to me. Snow even has a granddaughter. I vote yes." "So do I," says Enobaria, almost indifferently. "Let them have a taste of their own medicine." "This is why we rebelled! Remember?" Peeta looks at the rest of us. "Annie?" "I vote no with Peeta," she says. "So would Finnick if he were here." "But he isn't, because Snow's mutts killed him," Johanna reminds her. "No," says Beetee. "It would set a bad precedent. We have to stop viewing one another as enemies. At this point, unity is essential for our survival. No." "We're down to Katniss and Haymitch," says Coin. Was it like this then? Seventy-five years or so ago? Did a group of people sit around and cast their votes on initiating the Hunger Games? Was there dissent? Did someone make a case for mercy that was beaten down by the calls for the deaths of the districts' children? The scent of Snow's rose curls up into my nose, down into my throat, squeezing it tight with despair. All those people I loved, dead, and we are discussing the next Hunger Games in an attempt to avoid wasting life. Nothing has changed. Nothing will ever change now. I weigh my options carefully, think everything through. Keeping my eyes on the rose, I say, "I vote yes...for Prim." "Haymitch, it's up to you," says Coin. A furious Peeta hammers Haymitch with the atrocity he could become party to, but I can feel Haymitch watching me. This is the moment, then. When we find out exactly just how alike we are, and how much he truly understands me. "I'm with the Mockingjay," he says. "Excellent. That carries the vote," says Coin. "Now we really must take our places for the execution." As she passes me, I hold up the glass with the rose. "Can you see that Snow's wearing this? Just over his heart?" Coin smiles. "Of course. And I'll make sure he knows about the Games." "Thank you," I say. People sweep into the room, surround me. The last touch of powder, the instructions from Plutarch as I'm guided to the front doors of the mansion. The City Circle runs over, spills people down the side streets. The others take their places outside. Guards. Officials. Rebel leaders. Victors. I hear the cheers that indicate Coin has appeared on the balcony. Then Effie taps my shoulder, and I step out into the cold winter sunlight. Walk to my position, accompanied by the deafening roar of the crowd. As directed, I turn so they see me in profile, and wait. When they march Snow out the door, the audience goes insane. They secure his hands behind a post, which is unnecessary. He's not going anywhere. There's nowhere to go. This is not the roomy stage before the Training Center but the narrow terrace in front of the president's mansion. No wonder no one bothered to have me practice. He's ten yards away. I feel the bow purring in my hand. Reach back and grasp the arrow. Position it, aim at the rose, but watch his face. He coughs and a bloody dribble runs down his chin. His tongue flicks over his puffy lips. I search his eyes for the slightest sign of anything, fear, remorse, anger. But there's only the same look of amusement that ended our last conversation. It's as if he's speaking the words again. "Oh, my dear Miss Everdeen. I thought we had agreed not to lie to each other." He's right. We did. The point of my arrow shifts upward. I release the string. And President Coin collapses over the side of the balcony and plunges to the ground. Dead.