#you said soft!foxes so i was like lets make andrew cook for neil

[robincross]

Valentine’s Gift for @peanut-milk for the @aftgexchange.

The one where Andrew and Neil have their first official date( On Valentine’s Day no less. Blame Allison.)

“So, what did you get your monster for Valentine’s Day?” Allison asks, as she idly types away at her phone.

Anger bubbles up in Neil, “Allison, he’s not—“ he begins, but gets cut off by her.

“Sorry, I meant to say Andrew, your boyfriend. What did you get him for Valentine’s Day?” she gives a quick glance up at Neil, whose face appears slightly flushed at the remark. A smirk forms on her lips, “Don’t try and deny that. I won’t let you.”

Neil sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “Nothing. Why would I?” At those words, Allison stops typing away on her phone and sets it down next to her. She arches a brow at Neil, “What do you mean ‘nothing,’ it’s Valentine’s Day, Neil. That one day of the year specifically designated by capitalism to celebrate your love with your partner. Which is Andrew, in your case.”

Love. He lets the word wash over him. He doesn’t know if that’s the word he’d use. It’s a word too overused all around him but too underused in his own life for it to mean anything to him.  He doesn’t think any word is fit to describe what he and Andrew have and yet—

Neil shrugs off Allison’s comment, “We’re not into that kind of stuff. It’s stupid. Why pick one day of the year to specifically celebrate a relationship?” He didn’t think Andrew would be too partial to celebrating it either. He would probably just walk away from Neil for just suggesting it. It had taken a while for Andrew to even admit that what they had was something and in fact, a ‘this.’

“Because it’s nice,” Allison replies like it’s obvious, “It’s a decent excuse to dress up and go out on a date. Eat. Drink. Kiss. Whatever.”

Neil stays silent and Allison reads the silence in the only way she can.

“Wait, have you two ever gone on a date?” She reaches for her phone and Neil can’t help but think another bet has been settled between the Foxes.

“That’s none of your business,” Neil gets up to leave.

-

Neil receives a text an hour later from Allison detailing directions to a restaurant in Columbia and reservation details.

For u and ur boyfriend. Have fun.

Neil replies with, no.

Allison texts back, go or don’t go. I don’t care. The reservation has been made.

Neil doesn’t bother to text back.

-

That night, like every other night, Andrew and Neil end up on the rooftop. Neil finds himself thinking back to Allison’s words. Have you two ever been on out on a date? The truth was that no, they had never done the whole go out on a ‘date’ thing. Neil didn’t mind it  because they had their smoke filled nights on the rooftop. But, since Allison had brought it up that morning, he couldn’t help but be curious. He found that he actually liked the idea but he wasn’t sure how he felt about it coupled with Valentine’s Day.

“Spit it out already, Neil.” Andrew breaks him out his thoughts. Neil watches as he takes a drag of his cigarette and blows out smoke into the cold air.

“Are you busy Saturday evening?” Neil decides to just ask. After all, it's never steered him wrong before. He knows Andrew isn’t—his days are usually a combination of classes, Exy and Neil. Sometimes none.  Andrew cocks his head to the side but doesn’t look at Neil.

“I’ll check my calendar, let you know after,” he drawls.

“Andrew,” Neil says because really he doesn’t know what else to say. He knew Andrew wasn’t going to make this easy on him, which was enough to frustrate Neil, who was already swimming in unknown territory.

“Why?"

“I have dinner reservations Saturday night.”  Neil says Saturday and not Valentine’s Day because that’s a surefire way to get an instant rejection.   Also, technically, it was Allison that had reservations but Andrew didn’t need to know that.

“Congratulations.”

“You want to go with me?” Neil asks, as casually as he can.

“Are you asking me out on a date? On Valentine’s Day, no less? Never took you for a romantic.” There’s a ghost of a twitch to Andrew’s lips as he asks. Neil reaches out to take Andrew's cigarette and breathes in the trailing smoke.  

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to go out on a date with my boyfriend.” So much for being casual about it.

Andrew stills briefly and finally turns his gaze on Neil. It’s the first time Neil has ever referred to Andrew as his boyfriend. He waits for denial in the form of an obnoxious answer but all Neil gets is a question in return.

“Why?” Andrew studies him and Neil doesn’t look away from the scrutiny. He’s used to this. It’s Andrew calculating Neil, adding and subtracting, trying to solve for the remaining variables in the equation. The problem that keeps on giving.

Neil is silent, trying to think of the truth not just for Andrew but himself as well. His curiosity had gotten the better of him but curiosity was never a good enough answer for Andrew. He wanted a taste of normalcy, it wasn’t Valentine’s Day he wanted a piece of though. It was the going out for dinner, just him and Andrew.

“I’ve never been on a date.”

Andrew tilts his head in consideration. He reaches over to steal back his cigarette, only to snuff it out on the cement seconds later.

“Neither have I,” Andrew offers up his own truth.

Neil let’s the silence settle around them both, knowing all too well not to push for an answer. Neil is content with gazing at Andrew and imagines tracing the moonlit shadows on his face. There’s a slight wrinkle in Andrew’s forehead, giving away Andrew’s pensive state. Neil fights down the urge to kiss Andrew and waits him out.

“Cancel those reservations,” Andrew says. Neil can’t help but feel disappointed and all he can muster is a weak, “Okay.”

Neil watches as Andrew reaches out to light a new cigarette. “I’m not taking you out to some restaurant that Allison picked. We’re going to do this my way.”

Neil blinks in confusion, “How’d you know it was Allison?”

Andrew rolls his eyes, “Who else would get you a last minute reservation on Valentine’s Day?”

Neil smiles and leans in towards Andrew, stopping short a few inches from his face. He waits for acceptance or rejection and seconds later he's greeted by Andrew's lips crashing into his own.

They spend the rest of the night kissing each other dizzy.

-

Saturday night, Neil dresses himself while Andrew is in the shower. He tries his best, picking out pieces that seem to fit together, trying to remember clothes that brought on lingering looks from Andrew.  He settles on a grey long-sleeved buttoned up shirt and dark slacks. It’s a combination of formal wear that he had once worn to one of the Exy banquets. He doesn’t remember much of the banquet but he clearly remembers Andrew’s hands on him later that night.

Once Andrew comes out of the shower, Neil is rewarded with a slow once over. Neil feels something in his gut settle.

“Staring,” Neil teases. Andrew doesn’t say anything to him though and instead walks past him to get ready.

Neil heads to the kitchen and digs out a box of chocolates that he had bought at the store earlier. He really wasn’t aware for the protocol of what a date entailed but he thought gifts might be involved. It’s not like Andrew would ever turn down free chocolate so Neil thought it was a safe bet.  He made sure to get one that weren’t clearly Valentine’s Day themed and ended up settling on a box of whiskey filled chocolates.

Andrew comes out of the room, dressed casually but significantly less dressed down than Neil.  Neil frowns, had he overdone it on his part? He never asked Andrew what he planned for them both. He just figured it would be a different restaurant.

“Where are we going?”

“Columbia,” Andrew responds as his gaze falls to the box being held by Neil. Neil takes it as his cue to shove the box into Andrew’s hands.

“I hate you,” Andrew replies without any heat.

-

Once they get to Columbia, Andrew drops Neil off at the house without offering any explanation. Neil waits at the house, flipping through channels in confusion. Neil was fairly sure this wasn’t how dates were supposed to go but shrugs it off because this was Andrew after all. Andrew never quite followed the norm, never did Neil for that matter and that was enough to placate Neil as he waited for Andrew’s return.

Andrew arrives sometime later, carrying several grocery bags with him. Neil watches him as he takes item after item out of the grocery bags. Neil’s eyes widen in slight surprise as he realizes what was happening.

Andrew was cooking dinner. Andrew was making pasta.

“Can I help?” he finds himself asking.

“Get your boyfriend a drink,” he says, dropping several ingredients into a pot to simmer. Neil snorts, he wants to say something but thinks better of it as fiery warmth spreads through him and he just knows his face is red all over. He takes two down two glasses from the cupboard and fills them both with the vodka Andrew had bought. He hands one to Andrew and keeps the other to himself. Neil still doesn’t drink very often, but if he does it’s always with Andrew.

Neil doesn’t say anything else, content to just watch Andrew in action. It’s mesmerizing really. He had never seen Andrew cook like this before. The few times he had it was just simple breakfast items and only for himself at that. He had never cooked for Neil.

“I learned at Eden’s,” Andrew offers the answer to Neil’s unasked question, ”We started off helping to cook in the kitchen before they let us bus tables out in the club.” Us. Aaron and him.

“How long were you planning to hide this talent of yours?”

Andrew glances up from the pot, “You never asked.”

There’s a warm feeling in Neil’s stomach and he doesn’t fight the smile that comes over him. He realizes he’s happy. They eat and drink in comfortable silence. Trading stories every once in a while, ranging from the worst things they have had ever eaten to hypothetical situations of what exactly they would take with them on an island.

Allison’s words come back to him, because it’s nice. Neil can’t help but agree as he watches Andrew open his box of liquored chocolates. He pops one into his mouth. Neil fights his hardest not to smile, the warm feeling filling him up. Neil would have blamed it on the alcohol but he had stopped at his second drink, which was nowhere near enough to get him drunk or even buzzed.

“You’re staring,” Andrew says. Neil reaches over to Andrew’s hand, an unspoken question that Andrew answers by interlocking their fingers. Love, Neil thinks to himself but doesn’t dare say it out loud. Maybe it might just fit, just like his and Andrew's hands fit together.

“Can you blame me?” Neil grins. Andrew flicks him an unimpressed look and leans forward, stopping short of kissing Neil. He places a hand on Neil’s neck and waits for Neil to close the gap between them.

Neil has never been fond of sweets, but the taste of chocolate on Andrew’s tongue is one that Neil can’t even bring himself to complain over.

[thisisnotourlasthunt]

Andrew Showing The Foxes His Love Through Actions.

All through “All for the game” we can see how Andrew shows his love through actions. I believe that Andrew does care for his teammates and I know I; m not the only one, so I wrote this. (Also, I will just forget about the choking scene because N*ra did their relationship so badly, like- ugh, that’s for another time)

Tw: Curse words, references to the foxes pasts, punches, vomit, Riko, mentions of scars, mentions of nightmares, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of past self-harm, probably many spelling and grammar mistakes.

Allison.

It happened during a game, the foxes were winning and the other team were getting exasperated because they could not get past the backliners and if they could, Andrew would not let them score.

During the last minutes of the game, a player from the other team made Allison trip on purpose and “accidentally” kicked her.

Everyone else were too far away from them.

Except Andrew.

When the referee called the fault, Andrew was already there, punching the guy resulting in him taking a step back and falling to the ground.

As the referee gave him a yellow card, Andrew extended his arm to help Allison up.

And if he asked Renee how bad the injury was, no one had to know. 

Matt.  

When Matt was visiting his mom during summer vacations, they decided to go shopping, there he found the most adorable hoodies. It was orange on the outside and the inside had a really soft and warm fabric, which was white and had orange paw prints. But the best part was that the hoodie had fox ears.

Matt obviously bought nine of them.

“Disgusting.” Andrew had said, which Matt had obviously expected, so he thought nothing of it.

Everyone wore them, Aaron had given his to Katelyn, except Andrew.

But when winter came, Matt saw Andrew get out of his dorm room with the hoodie on, pulling it tighter against himself when a cold air blast came.

“Not a word.” Andrew deadpanned, pointing at Matt, when he noticed him, before leaving the tower.

Matt smiled the whole day.

Dan.

During one of their dinner bankets, the foxes were placed into pairs and told to socialize with the other teams. The pairs were meticulously design so that ‘the monsters’ (minus Nicky) interacted. This meant every ‘monster’ was placed with an upperclassmen. Andrew got Dan.

So when they Dan were talking to some players from Penn State, the Ravens decided to join.

They began talking sh¡t about Dan’s time as a stripper.

Andrew didn’t say or do a thing, knowing Dan was capable on fighting her own fights, she is the first female captain on Exy, but he does stand to the side, throwing a death glare to them.

But when one of them decide it’s a good idea to slap her in the butt when she is distracted....Andrew intervienes.

He grabs the Raven’s wrist, twisting it before pushing him into a table.

Dan is surprised, to say the least, but she knows that the Raven will get a worst fate if she leaves Andrew like that. 

Calmly, she tells him she is okay and that the Raven didn’t touch her and that he can look and see for himself.

The latter does the trick, Andrew turns his murderous glare at Dan so she turns in place extending her arms showing him that the Raven did nothing to her.

Andrew calms after a while and stands up, glancing at the Raven one more time. 

The rest of the night Andrew does not leave Dan’s side until they head back home. Dan attaches herself to that memory forever. 

Renee.

Renee and Andrew sparred at least once a week, more whenever Andrew was having a bad day.

Such as that moment, Aaron’s trial was just around the corner and Andrew was not having it.

He went to Bee’s twice but it still wasn’t enough, so him and Renee spared.

But today was a specially not good day, Aaron’s lawyer had said that he’d have to speak about what happened that day.

Renee knew that Andrew was far more on his head than n the present so she wasn’t mad when Andrew threw her down to the mat and her hip bumped onto the floor.

For the first time since they spared that day, Renee saw Andrew actually see her.

His eyes were wide, probably surprised of what happened so she reassured him that she was okay and that it didn't hurt much and that she’d had much worse before.

But he didn’t listen to her and got off the mat.

Renee stood up and went for her water bottle, thinking that Andrew had gone to let out some steam alone.

But then he came back with an ice package in hand and gave it to her.

Renee thank him, placed it on her hip and sat near him while he starred to the distance in moral support.

Nicky.

Nicky wasn’t one to get sick often, but when it happened, he really got sick.

So when one day he wakes up with a headache and all of his bones ache, he knows he’s in trouble.

Not wanting anyone to be worried about him, Nicky tries to stand up, just for a blast of nausea hits him and he has to run to the bathroom before he pukes on their bedroom.

When he is done throwing his guts out, he brushes his teeth and walks out to the kitchen for a glass of water. But when he gets there, a water bottle is out with a bottle of Pepto-bismol beside it. 

In the middle of his confusion, Andrew and Aaron appear with a thermometer, a blanket and pills.

“Go lay down,” Andrew says with an uncharacteristically softness in his tone.

Nicky complies and walks towards the couch, Andrew protectively trailing behind him with his phone and a blanket.

“I don’t have any class today, Aaron has two in an hour but then he’ll be back. Tea?” Nicky is perplexed at this attention given by his cousins so he is only able to nod and think who were these people and what did they do with his cousins.

The rest of the day, the twins (mostly Andrew) take his temperature, give him his meds, cook for him and help him out whenever he needs it.

Nicky sleeps with a smile that day.

The next day, he feels much better, but because the sickness messed with his feelings, he has an urge to hug his cousins.

He asks for permission and surprisingly, Andrew says yes.

Nicky keeps the hug fast and makes sure he doesn’t make Andrew feel trapped.

He still cries at the memory. 

Aaron.

Out of all the foxes, Aaron is the one with the most difficult things to study. He is in fact studying pre-med.

So during the finals week, he is the most stressed.

There is this one class in which Aaron has been having the most trouble with and if he doesn’t pass the test, he’ll have to repeat the class. So to say that he was stressed was an understatement.

He begins studying for that class a week and a half before the exam is and the day before the exam, he skips gym, morning practice and afternoon practice.

He studies for the exam the whole day and had to be reminded to take breaks for the bathroom and meals constantly.

He is also forced by Andrew to sleep when he woke up at 3 am and Aaron was still awake, studying.

Aaron keeps thinking of the material as he tries to sleep, and isn’t able to until 4 am, he dreams on the material the whole night.

When he opens his eyes, he sees that the sun is much higher than usual, worried, he checks the time on his phone just for his fears to be true, his alarm didn’t sound and he slept through the whole exam.

He doesn’t even care to change and runs to the building. The door to his classroom is closed and the professor is not there.

“Can’t stop thinking about the exam? Me neither.” He hears one of his classmates say behind him.

“I didn’t even do it.” He says through his teeth.

“What do you mean? I saw you there.”

Aaron is confused so he asks more classmates if they saw him, and all of them said that yes, they saw him there.

Hurriedly he got to the tower and confronted Andrew if it was his doing and if he did the exam for him like they did in high school.

“I did.” was Andrew’s only response before walking out.

Aaron got a B⁺ a grade much better than if he had done it by himself.

Kevin.

After Riko died, his and Andrew’s deal could be done, but they had grown close, they had passed so much time together since Kevin escaped Evermore.

Neither of them would say it out loud, but they were each other’s best friend.

So when Kevin learned that his things would be thrown away from the Nest, he went into a spiral.

But when Andrew asked and Kevin couldn’t say why, Andrew made it his mission to know.

Neil had a few assumptions, but when he had been at the Nest, he had been too focused on his injuries that he wasn’t a good resource.

So Andrew contacted someone he never thought he would be speaking to. Jean.

Jean told Andrew of Kevin’s old bedroom and the things Kevin had to hide away from Riko because if he found them, Kevin would be punished. Yet he didn’t know what these secret things were. 

Thankfully, Jean knew where the hiding spot was.

The next day, Andrew took the Maserati in the early morning without a word (Neil knew but he had to act as if he didn’t), and made his way to Evermore.

Once there, he had to sneak inside, but given that the Nest was desolated for classes it was easy.

When Andrew got to where Jean had told him where the hiding spot was, he found a small shoe box.

Opening it, he found three things and Andrew immediately understood Kevin’s spiraling.

When he got back to the tower, he directly went to his dorm. Inside were Neil, Nicky and Kevin watching a game.

Andrew signaled Neil and the latter made Nicky follow him out.

“Where were you? You missed morning practice,” Kevin said as soon as they were alone.

Without a word, Andrew took the shoebox out of his bag and carefully gave it to Kevin, who took a shaky breath at the sight of it.

As soon as it was in Kevin’s hands, he opened it and carefully took the three things which were the last things he had from his mother.

A woman’s ring, a record player and a photograph. 

Tears immediately sprang from Kevin’s eyes and Andrew decided he would give Kevin his space.

“Thank you,” Kevin said as he opened the door, Andrew just nodded feeling a weird warmness in his chest.

Neil.

Andrew shows Neil his love in so many ways, helping him out during panic attacks, reminding him that he’s safe, holding his hand, kissing him, sharing a cigarette in the roof, stroking his hair when they cuddle and so much more.

But the most important thing Andrew does for Neil is letting the latter see his vulnerability and trust him with it.

It starts with simple things, Andrew letting Neil sleep with him in the same bed, cuddle together, sit on Andrew’s lap (and vice versa), etc.

But it slowly begins to increase, let Neil stay whenever he gets a nightmare and/or a panic attack, let Neil take care of him when he gets sick, let Neil cuddle on top of Andrew, let himself seek comfort in Neil, Andrew letting Neil take his armbands off, see and touch them.

It takes a long time, but Neil doesn’t mind, those little things are more than enough for him and he doesn’t expect more from Andrew, but welcomes this little things and holds onto them with all of him.

Bonus:

Wymack. 

Wymack is always threatening his foxes with running marathons and says that their personal stuff is over his pay rate, but oh doesn’t he care for them.

He works hard for them so they can have good things and safe and comfortable area for them, that’s why he had the walls on the showers made.

He loves the foxes, and they love them too.

One morning, he had to organize some piles of paperwork, but he had a stressing week and the night before he hadn’t been able to sleep good, so after a while of organizing paperwork, he decides he deserves a break.

The foxes are supposed to be in class so he doesn’t expect them until the afternoon. He goes to the lounge and lays down on the couch to “rest his eyes”.

He falls asleep almost instantly.

Andrew had forgotten something on the court after their morning practice so he decided to go now, he had finished his classes and knew that Wymack had to organize some paperwork, he was surprised to see the old man asleep.

Andrew could remember his initial fear of the man when he saw him the first time, he was tall, broad and serious, but he didn’t let it show. He had been waiting for the man to do something to him, but instead the man had respected his boundaries and didn’t ask when Andrew broke into his home in the late night and made himself a pot of hot cocoa (which had been bought for this reason).

So quietly, Andrew went to Wymack’s office and organized his paperwork, marking those who were missing one or two things with a post it and leaving right after he was done, not expecting the man to know it was him.

When Wymack woke up and walked back to his office he was surprised to see that his paperwork was organized. He mentally questioned who it was but when he read the post its he immediately knew it was Andrew, he knew all of his children’s handwritings, and made sure he bought Andrew’s favorite  chocolate ice cream.

Abby. 

Abby was the first one, apart from Bee, to see his scars. 

The first time she had tried to say something but she had seen something in his face because he didn’t and let him place the armbands back on.

After that she looked away when he took them off and just glanced at them for a second to make sure there were no track marks before turning around again so he could put the armbands back on.

(She knew there would not be track marks, so she just looked at them so there would be no new ones, he cared for her foxes.)

And during the physical exam, she made sure not to touch him more than necessary. 

Abby checks on Bee asking if he’s okay, she never expects an in depth answer, just a confirmation and she feels relief when Bee tells her that he is getting better.

On one of his sessions with Bee, she suggests Andrew that he should tell someone about his scars, preferably someone who has already seen them. 

Andrew knows what Bee is trying and Bee knows that Andrew knows and Andrew knows Bee knows that Andrew knows.

In the end, he does tell Abby. He keeps it vague and watches her reaction, waiting for a small expression change, but thankfully Abby just listens, and shows no pity, knowing that Andrew would hate it and does not comment.

When he’s done, she just nods and thanks him for telling her and when Andrew leaves, Abby lets the tears she had retained out.

She keeps the truth guarded with her life, glad Andrew trust her enough to say this.

Bee.

It is not a secret that Andrew sees Bee like his mother figure, out of all the woman in his life she was the only one that he didn’t feel the need to be unlike himself, she loved him just the way he was.

It was scary at first, his mind supplied that it would be just like Cass, he just had to wait for the other shoe to come down.

It never did.

So he found himself driving to her office when he needed to understand something or he was just not in a good mental place.

He would also call her when he didn’t have the energy to move.

She was on one of his sides during Aarons trial, helping him keep his cool when he felt like he needed to punch something.

When it had been his turn to say his testimony, he had looked at her and Neil, remembering that they would be with him and that they would show no pity to him.

So the day before Mother’s day, when him and Neil were shopping for clothes, and he saw a coffee mug in the shape of a bee hive that read “To the Bee-st mom” he had to buy it.

The next day he arrives to her office and leaves the cup before leaving without a word.

It fills Bee’s heart when she reads it but knows best than to comment of it on their next session.

But if she uses it everyday and it becomes her favorite mug, no one has to know.

Look at me posting three days in a row, I’m proud of myself ngl. Anyways, have this, hope you like it, I tried my best and this is honestly the longest “headcanon” I’ve ever written.

[eponinemylove]

Neil + getting hurt

this is badly written bc it’s just me brainstorming but

alright so this boy has a pretty high tolerance for pain, but he knows when he’s hurt. he knows how to feel for cracks in his ribs or when he’s broken something

he’s pretty used to getting hurt and the foxes all cry at night bc of it

he’s not an idiot when it comes to injuries but he is when it comes to knowing when to stop because of his injuries.

his first reaction to just about any injury is to patch it up and deal with it himself (if he can pry himself away from the courts long enough)

sometimes he’ll bother Andrew if he needs help

but

if Andrew can’t/won’t help, the next person he goes to is Aaron

(he doesn’t go to Kevin because even though Kevin gets it, he would actually hurt Neil if Neil didn’t treat an injury properly right away. Kevin doesn’t play that shit. Go see Abby)

the other foxes might know what to do, but even if they did, they would make him see Abby too so he doesn’t waste his time

anyway so Andrew is out with Renee and Allison one day and Neil goes out for a run. It’s fine until some student wasn’t looking where they were going and crash into Neil as he turns a corner

They’re both fine, but Neil lands hard on his shoulder and the concrete scraped the shit outa him. He finishes his run and gets back to the tower not really thinking anything of it till he goes to shower and realizes his shoulder looks really bad

Aaron is next door studying for a biology test when just. Neil just walks in with literally zero warning and sits down across from him

Neither of them say anything for a minute. Aaron finishes the page he’s taking notes on them looks at Neil like what do you want

Neil’s like “I hurt my shoulder and I can’t reach it to bandage it up.”

Aaron’s goes ???? He’s so done. “whatever let me see it”

and Neil takes off his shirt

a COUPLE OF THINGS TO NOTE HERE

aaron has seen Neil after the nest and after his father. He’s seen Neil beat to shit and looking like hell. He hasn’t seen Neil’s scars though.

and it’s not that Neil’s comfortable showing his scars off because he’s definitely not. He can just barely show them to Abby. But he’s tired and Aaron already looks annoyed that he’s wasting time and whatever, Andrew will be back soon and they have practice tonight and Neil can’t reach so Aaron is gonna have to suck it up and bandage him

His shoulder is a little more than “hurt”

Aaron goes straight into doctor mode. He has to disenfect it and it’s way too much for just a band aid so he gets some gauze and patches that up

They don’t say anything the entire time. Aaron works in silence and Neil is just staring. Aaron can’t tell if he’s focused or not

Neil leaves with a half-assed thanks and Aaron is just. He’s annoyed ok. His brother’s tool of a boyfriend just comes in and interrupts his studying to demand that he kiss his scrape better and then just leaves. Fuck that guy

like exactly 5 minutes later when Aaron gets back to studying he has that “oh shit” moment of realiziation where it hits him that Neil came to him for help and showed him his scars. He appreciates what that means, even if he is still petulantly grumpy at being bothered

this happens just a couple of times but Aaron doesn’t take it for granted. theyre both aware that Neil’s letting himself be vulnerable in that moment, which is really hard for him

Neil also goes to see Abby sometimes. He doesn’t like to because he has to leave the tower but if he’s already out and hurting then he’ll drop by

Abby worries about him all the time and constantly reassures him that it’s ok!! she wants him to see her if he’s injured!! nothing is too small

Abby also starts to load up on Neil’s favorite snacks. He refuses to go easy on her and just give her a grocery list so she has to pull some Sherlock Holmes type shit and piece together what the kid likes on her own. (he drinks water and/or orange juice, he won’t eat anything too sweet, chips are a maybe, fruit is always good)

So, to recap, if he’s not pretending that his injury isn’t serious (which is still the majority of the time), he’s paying a discreet visit to Andrew, Aaron, or Abby

he prefers to handle his shit himself, but this is progress!

there is one (1) time though where Neil gets hurt and demands to go to the hospital

It’s nothing too bad. Nothing life-threatening. The team is actually really happy that they didn’t even have to force Neil to call time and see a doctor, but they don’t quite understand why he’s freaking out so bad

It happens when they’re playing a game. No one sees what happens but Neil goes down and he takes a little too long to get back up. Wymack and Kevin both look ready to drag him off court but he surprises everyone by signaling to the ref and limping off himself

he goes straight to Abby on the bench. Something happened to his leg, he pulled a muscle or something, idk, but it scared the shit out of him

they’re in the last quarter so Neil holds out until they foxes win but then he’s like “Abby. I need to see a doctor, now”

everyone is confused af but they go with it

They get him to a doctor who checks it out. Something’s definitely strained but it’s not too serious and he can play in a few weeks at most

the foxes get ready for Neil to just absolutely ignore that but??? Neil is like ok and actually sits out practice and shit

he doesn’t get back onto the court until Abby clears him

The next day the foxes can’t help it. they have to know

Andrew and Kevin tell them to leave it alone, but. My boys aren’t immune. They wanna know too. They just have a feeling the answer is gonna be bad

it is

After practice everyone just kinda invites themselves over to Wymack’s and Abby cooks. They’re chatting for a while, just fucking around, when someone brings it up

It’s Nicky

“So, not that we’re not all thrilled you’re taking care of yourself, but what happened when you hurt your leg?”

And Neil debates not telling them but he catches Andrew out of the corner of his eye pretending not to be interested and really there’s no reason to hide anything from the team, so

“idk. It’s just, when my father-“

collective wince

“-kidnapped me in Baltimore and he had me in the basement, he was debating how to torture me-“

so yeah this is not great. The foxes are in Instant Regret. Andrew’s fork is bending. Dan looks like her vein might explode. Matt has tears and his eyes and may or may not be actually crying

“-one of the things he said was that he’d cut my hamstrings so I couldn’t run this time. He didn’t, obviously, but...” Neil kinda takes a break there and wow this is hard to admit but it’s them so it’s ok “it just really scared me. I wouldn’t be able to escape. I could never play exy. Everything would’ve been for nothing if I couldn’t run. My career would be over, the Moriyamas—“

ok he stops there

they get the point

Kevin changes the subject bc believe it or not he isn’t useless and has gotten really good at Not Talking about things and redirecting conversation

it takes a while but the night goes on and they’re all fine, it’s in the past, they know that neil is here and he’s okay and his father is dead

any questions of “are you okay” are met with a withering look and yeah that’s fair but neil knows it’s with good intentions

andrew drags neil out of the room when nobody is looking

he kisses him hard and whispers about his father and the moriyamas never being able to get to him again

neil reminds him that andrew doesn’t have to protect him anymore

andrew knows that it isn’t their deal but he wants to okay? he wants to protect neil and keep him safe

170%

everyone goes home eventually

later andrew and neil will be in bed and andrew will kiss his thighs and replace any memories of cold stone floor and axes with soft lips and soft hairs tickling the insides of his legs

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Home for Christmas

This is my fic for the @aftgexchange winter round for @andreil-minyasten

I had so much fun writing this and I really hope this lives up to what you wanted! I actually had an idea for a part 2 to this from another bit of your prompts. If you want me to write that for you, feel free to message and ask, I’ll be quite happy to do so:)

Enjoy!!<3

--------

December 22nd

“What the hell do you mean that you aren’t going to be here for christmas, Andrew?”

Neil was beyond, angry. He was pissed. Their holiday plans had been decided back in November. Andrew would come to Neil in Boston from New York and they’d host Aaron, Katelyn from the twenty fourth before they’d meet Nicky, Erik- who were spending Christmas with Eric’s family in Germany -and the rest of the foxes down in South Carolina to spend New Years with Wymack and Abby.

But apparently, that was all going to shit, now.

“I’ve tried Neil, but flights are delayed and there’s a storm coming in. I don’t know if I’ll make it, the Mas definitely won’t.” Now he was beyond consoling.

“If you had come two days ago like you said you would, this wouldn’t be a problem. We haven’t seen each other since September.” He missed his partner, missed soft touches when they’d reach for one another in the night, he missed laying his head in Andrew’s lap while the other man read one of his newest books. Overall, he just missed Andrew.

“How many times do I have to tell you that it was Kevin’s fault I couldn’t come out when I had planned?” Neil scoffed.

“What Kevin wants has never stopped you before. Whatever, Andrew, I’m going to bed.” He ignored Andrew’s reply, hanging up and flinging his phone onto his bedside table. He was so tired of everything. Neil carried out his nighttime routine quite aggressively, flinging back the duvet with force, ignoring the constant buzzing of his phone. Tonight, the bed felt uncomfortable, lumpy and cold, so awfully cold. It had been three years of this, of the long distance, scheduling time to see each other, of having to be without one another for the majority of the year after spending four years attached at the hip while they were at PSU. The two of them, being how stubborn they both were, had sworn that the distance wouldn’t be an issue. Neil had to play with the Bobcats for two years minimum, considering it was the best contract he could get straight out of college and the closest to Andrew’s team.

Everything was great at first, wonderful even, they saw each other on as many weekends as they could, called and texted every day, and Skyped at least twice a week. But then shit went down hill. Practice built up and up if the team’s performance declined, promotions and photo shoots and team signings started taking up their free time. It was shit, they knew it was shit but, what could they do? He hated this, he hated everything about it.

His sleep that night was fitful and restless, and he was wide awake when the sun rose the next morning, yellow and orange rays of light hitting the empty spot beside him.

December 24th

Neil hadn’t spoken to Andrew since he abruptly ended their phone call two nights ago. There were several missed calls from the blonde on his phone, and many unread texts. He saw them as they came through, sometimes just his name, sometimes they asked if he was alright and ‘why won’t you pick up the fucking phone, Abram?’

Every part of him wanted to, fucking god, did he want to, but he had no idea what his brain would spout from his lips. He was terrified that the anger, the hurt of the separation, would come back full force and he’d say something awful that he’d most likely regret. That was his personal default when he was mad, finding exactly what to say that would hurt and hurt hard. So, no, he didn’t pick up the phone, he just left it alone and listened to the odd buzz as it vibrated against the kitchen counter. It was almost 8:30pm and Neil was making, or hoped to be making, cinnamon sugar cookies that would with any luck, still be warm and not burnt by the time Aaron and Katelyn arrived. They were apparently Kate’s latest pregnancy craving and he wanted for her to have them on hand so Aaron wouldn’t have to leave at some ungodly hour to get store bought ones.

There was flour everywhere and he was pretty sure there was some cinnamon on his forehead somehow, on top of that, he’d used more bowls than were actually needed for the ingredients the recipe called for but he wasn’t exactly surprised. Anything to do with cooking or baking was Andrew’s area of expertise: Neil just liked to watch, a giddy smile on his face whenever his partner whispered ‘staring’ without even looking at him. Shaking his head before he started to wallow in his own self pity, the timer to the first batch went off just as the buzzer to the apartment did. Quickly pulling out the baking tray, he placed it on the side, barely taking note of how the shapes he cut out now resembled blobs as he rushed to the door and pressed the button for the speaker. “Hello?”

“Neil! It’s Kate, Aaron is just sorting the bags and told me to come up first.” He smiled despite his somber mood for the past week.

“Come on up, I’ll buzz you in. Do you want me to wait outside the elevator for you?”

“No, no, I’ll be fine!” He agreed and let her in, wiping his hands before propping his front door open and waiting for her anyway. Before long, he was greeted with an eye rolling Katelyn, but there was a grin on her lips nonetheless. “You’re nearly as bad as my husband, I’m surprised he even let me come up on my own, but thank you.” She said, as he held out his elbow for her to take. She had begun to waddle a little now with how big she had gotten. Neil supposed that having twins made the whole process a little different.

He helped her settle into the armchair in the living room and asked, “can I get you a drink?”

“Water would be great, thanks. Also, is that cinnamon I smell?” He felt his cheeks go hot and knew he was blushing.

“You mentioned at one point on the phone that cinnamon cookies are your newest craving and so I made some for you. They’re still warm if you’d like a few?” Katelyn nodded excitedly, murmuring how grateful she was at the thoughtful gesture and he hurried off, placing a few questionable looking snowmen and coming back into the other room just as the buzzer went off again. He left the pregnant woman to devour her food and admire his sparkly Christmas tree and went to let Aaron in. When the elevator opened up on his floor once again, he was met with a ruffled Minyard twin who was surrounded by bags.

“What the hell do you bring with you?”

“Shut your mouth and help me carry this shit, would you?” Neil kept his mouth shut and hefted a couple of bags into his arms. Most went into the spare room where the couple would be sleeping and then Aaron unloaded a big bag of presents to sit underneath the tree while he went back to put more cookies in the oven, and to load a few more onto Katelyn’s now empty plate. When he came back and sat himself on the couch, Aaron seemed out of breath, hugging as he lay on the wood floor.

“I’ll ask again, how much did you bring?” The woman stuffing her face giggled as her husband giggled and replied;

“We have your presents and Andrew’s presents from us, mine and Aaron’s that we’ve gotten each other, and we brought all the gifts for when we see the others next week. Also our clothes and my hospital bag even though I have about two and a half months left.” He nodded, though he was confused on the amount of clothes. They only lived an hour away from him and could go back for more clothes before they headed to South Carolina. Neil was about to mention just that when Aaron interrupted.

“Where is my brother anyway?” Ah yes, he’d forgotten to mention that. He let his face go blank as he told them what had happened. That Andrew kept pushing it back until he couldn’t come, that they’d argued and that they weren’t currently speaking. Katelyn had something akin to pity on her face and Aaron looked as though he was angry on behalf of Neil. “What the fuck? He’s seriously going to miss Christmas with his family, with you?”

“Looks like it.”

“But since when has what Kevin wanted ever mattered to him? Unless it benefitted his own needs of course.” It was weird slowly becoming friends with Aaron and seeing that occasionally, they could be on the same wavelength and agree with each other. It was a little bit dangerous, in his opinion.

“That’s what I said.”

“Is he still going to come to Palmetto next week.” He didn’t know what to say, because Andrew could still turn up at Abby’s despite not being here now. He also hadn’t spoken to him, so he hadn’t got the chance to ask. Neil stayed quiet. Aaron looked like he was about to press for more when Kate suggested that they watch a movie together and started setting up the tv without waiting for either of them to reply. Twenty minutes into the movie, Katelyn had picked A Christmas Carol because it was a classic, Neil got the final batch of cookies from the oven and cleared down the kitchen for tomorrow. Another ten minutes after that, Katelyn disappeared to put on pyjamas and Aaron grabbed him and Neil a beer from the fridge. By ten o’clock they were debating on watching one more film or going to bed when the apartment door opened and closed loudly.

The three of them half jumped out of their seats, turning violently to see Andrew Minyard standing in the doorway, and Neil’s breath caught in his throat. He was bundled up in a thick black coat, the collar pulled up around his neck, and his black knitted bobble hat Neil had brought him last year was pulled down over his ears that he just knew would still be adorably pink at the tips. One of his hands was tucked into his pocket and the other held a large duffel bag.

“Well well, look at what the cat finally dragged in.” Both Neil and Andrew glared at Aaron, who only rolled his eyes in response to their annoyance. Turning back to Andrew he gave him one last once over before standing slowly.

“Why don’t you go and sort yourself out,” he pointed to the bedroom where their en-suite was, “I’ll be in there in a minute.” Andrew gave a curt nod in confirmation and disappeared down the hall, bedroom door shutting softly. Katelyn was speaking to him, saying that she and Aaron were going to head to bed, kissing him on the cheek and pulling her husband along. Neil’s first instinct was to run to the bedroom, wrap his partner up in his arms, kiss him until they were breathless and then never let him go again but he was still mad at him. So, he cleared the few empty cans from the coffee table, and took Kate’s dirty glass and plate to the kitchen and dumped them in the sink. He locked the door and the windows out of habit and switched off all of the lights and slowly walked to his bedroom where he knew Andrew was waiting.

When he reached the door, he froze with his hand on the handle, closing his eyes and breathing deeply several times before he forced himself to step inside. As he suspected. Andrew was now in a pair of grey sweats and, he noticed with some satisfaction, one of Neil’s long sleeve cotton shirts. This one was a navy blue and Andrew had never looked more beautiful than he didn’t now, in soft clothes, hair ruffled and his nose and cheeks still a little pink from the cold air outside. He tugged on his withering self control and stopped himself from climbing over the other man and just holding him. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Taking that as a cue to start first, Andrew spoke, though Neil never expected for those words to ever come out of his partner’s mouth. “I lied to you.”

“What?” The blonde looked down at his hands, sighed, and then stood, walking and walking until he was a mere few steps away from Neil. Before, before there would be no need for that distance, because they’d healed and grown together and barely used ’yes or no’ unless it was a bad day or they were trying new things. Fuck long distance relationships.

“I lied. Kevin was never the one to keep me back in New York the first time, and there was no storm coming in to stop me from coming this time.” He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t fucking breathe.

“What the fuck? How could you lie, you swore you’d never lie to me. Why didn't you want to come, and why turn up at the last minute?” Andrew did step into his space then, on hand gripping his hip and the other linking their pinkie fingers together.

“Because there was something I was trying to sort out but those god damn stickball coaches are a pain in my ass.” Neil blinked, and then blinked a couple more times, before he was led to the bed where Andrew let go of him to dig out a stack of papers from his duffel bag and handed them into his scarred hands. “Merry Christmas, Junkie.” Okay, now he really was confused as he stared at the item in his hands with a furrowed brow. His anger was still there, but dying out slowly. He flicked through page after page eyes widening and mouth dropping open before he looked back at Andrew whose lips were quirking at his dumbfounded expression.

“You’re serious? You join the Bobcats when the new season starts?” His lover nodded.

“I’m tired. I’m tired of being away from you, of all the fighting. I’ve been working with your coach and mine to trade me with your goalkeeper, Angie. They hated it at first but I got there in the end. That’s why I’m so late, they were still hesitant about signing the damn forms.”

“So you started yet another fight with me?” In one swift movement there were hands on his cheeks and words were being breathed against his lips, sending pleasant, incredibly missed shivers down his spine as he wrapped his arms around Andrew’s waist.

“Not my finest moment, but I was trying to surprise you. Clearly, I’m not very good at it.” Neil chuckled wetly, and pressed their foreheads together.

“This is really happening?” He whispered gently.

“Yeah. I’ve still got to move all my stuff out here and things like that, but it’s real, Abram.”

“Then kiss me, you asshole, and make me forget your very bad surprise.” Andrew laughed then too, walking him backwards and pushing him down onto the bed, straddling his waist. They kissed for what seemed like hours, wrapped up and lost in one another. When they finally pulled apart, his lips felt tingly and his breathing came in pants.

That night, he fell asleep to warm sheets, a soft body behind him and cradled in a strong pair of arms. Despite the rocky start, Neil thought this might have been his best Christmas yet.

-------

I really hoped you liked it and if you do want that part two, I’ll be more than willing. I’m actually quite happy with the idea:)

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

PLEASE write about Andrew & Jean being chaotic and bitter bffs on the same team the power they would have the intimidation level the fashionable goth energy,,, w ow also I want Andrew to learn French so badly which we all know he would if Jean started insulting him in French

IT WON’T BE UP ANY TIME SOON but I’m writing a fic about Andrew visiting Renee’s for winter break in his final year of college in which he’s forced to spend the week sharing a space with Jean. 

Over the course of said week, they form a tentative alliance that’s essentially that We’re Not So Different You And I bit by John Mulaney 

Anyway, that’s like mid-way through Andrew’s fourth year. They don’t speak again until a little before Andrew’s graduation. The Foxes have just won the Championships they made it to finals last year and lost the last  game :’( and so they’re having a party. Andrew needed some air so he stepped outside and, a little while later, he hears footsteps on the porch behind him. Jean sits down, leaving some space between the two of them so as not to crowd Andrew, and just sort of slides a piece of paper over. Andrew keeps up his cool guy facade for a while, assuming Jean will break first. He does. 

“Would you just look at it?” Jean snarled. Andrew flicked him a cool look before, picking up the paper painstakingly slowly. He held it up to his own face, not bothering to actually read it. “Illiterate too, I see.” Andrew could barely keep the scowl off his face. He squinted at the stack of papers he picked up. 

“Why?” he asked. 

“Our goalkeep is, how you say? A piece of shit.”  

“You’re giving him more credit than he deserves,” Andrew cut in, his lips curling in a sneer. 

“I’m getting tired of being the last line of defense. It’s hard not having anyone to watch your back,” Jean said, shooting a meaningful look at Andrew. He elected to ignore it in favor of taking another drag of his cigarette. Jean muttered something that sounded like a curse before standing up and disappearing back into Abby’s house.

A month later, Jean stepped out of his apartment wondering which horrid little monsters the Cardinals had signed now. Turning towards the stairs, he found his answer waiting for him. 

“There’s no point in both of us driving down there. You make breakfast and I’ll drive,” the gremlin said. It wasn’t an offer or even a demand. He said it as though he were stating a fact. 

“The arrogance of Americans never fails to amaze me,” Jean shot back. 

“You’ve got dual citizenship, Frenchie. I’m sorry to say it, but that makes you one of us.” With that, the little monster turned on his heel and headed down the stairs. Jean muttered a steady stream of curses as he followed Andrew out to the Maserati

Having Andrew on his team is literally the worst. All he ever does is laze around. Sometimes, he’ll just lay down in the middle of the goal and stare at the ceiling. Jean gets a lot of shit for it bc he’s the one that recommended him for the line. It’s the day of their first game and tensions are high at practice when Jean loses his temper. He picks up an exy ball and hurls it at Andrew. Without even looking up, Andrew catches it with one hand. He stands slowly and throws it back so fast that Jean doesn’t have time to react. The ball wedges itself into the grate of his helmet, the force of it knocking him off his feet. Everyone assumes that Andrew isn’t going to play that night or will just be his asshole self but, when Jean finds himself struggling to hold the line, Andrew gets sent out and he’s an absolute monster in the goal. Every shot that comes his way gets deflected all the way down the court. The last goal of the night is made in the final seven seconds when Andrew slams a shot all the way down the court into the opposing goal. It lights up red and the crowd loses their shit. Exhausted, Jean collapses on the floor. 

“It’s hard not having anyone to have your back,” Andrew said as he passed by. By the time Jean found his voice, Andrew was already gone. Catching a ride home with one of the strikers, Jean felt a tightness in his chest. Andrew was an annoyingly lazy little bastard but Jean should have trusted him.

Jean doesn’t know how to apologize. Words are wasted on the likes of Andrew so he says nothing. He wakes early to make breakfast the next morning and says a silent prayer. Andrew is never late to anything but, when 6:30 rolls around and he isn’t there Jean’s heart plummets. He leaves the plate out on the counter while he eats. The ticking of the clock is deafeningly loud. At 6:47 there’s a knock at the door and Jean nearly faceplants in his hurry to answer it. 

“Your food’s gone cold,” Jean blurted out. Andrew turned a glare on him but said nothing as he shouldered his way into the apartment. Dark circles rimmed his eyes. His shoulders sagged, weighed down by exhaustion. There was no way he’d gotten a wink of sleep last night. 

“Moreau,” a voice said from the door. Jean whipped around to see Matt Boyd standing at the door. How he’d missed such a tall person standing in his doorway, Jean didn’t know. “Mind if I come in?” Jean stepped aside and Matt moved in. 

“Are you hungry?” Jean asked, haltingly. Boyd was the starting backliner for the Virginia Cavaliers, a whole state over. What the hell was he doing here? 

“I could eat,” Matt said brightly. He grabbed hold of a chair and dragged it over to where Andrew sat. 

“Not out of my plate,” Andrew snapped when Matt made to steal his eggs. Jean made his way to the kitchen to fix a third plate. From the dining room he could hear Andrew’s voice and Boyd’s laughter. Handing the plate over to him, Jean took his seat at the far end of the table. For the next quarter of an hour, Boyd rambled on about something or the other. If you asked Jean what he’d talked about, he wouldn’t have been able to say. He was far too absorbed in watching Andrew. 

The usual tension that pervaded his form had fallen away. Despite the obvious lack of sleep, Andrew seemed far more relaxed than usual. Every now and again, Jean saw his lips twitch up into the barest hint of a smile. From what he’d heard, Andrew had never had a good relationship with any of his teammates save Josten. But that made sense. Neil was his lover. What was it about Boyd that softened him so much? 

As soon as breakfast was finished and the plates cleaned, Jean disappeared back into his room to grab his phone. By the time he’d returned, both Andrew and Boyd were gone from the dining room. Jean found the pair blocking the open door. He stopped short when he heard Boyd’s voice. 

“I’ve missed you so much, Andy.” His words shook Jean to his core. 

“Yes or no?” Andrew asked quietly. Jean watched in stunned silence as Matt leaned down, mumbling yes a hair’s breadth away from Andrew’s lips. The second the word left his mouth, Andrew closed the distance between them. A soft moan slipped from Boyd’s lips and Jean watched in horror as he tangled his hands in Andrew’s hair. “Stop staring, Moreau,” Andrew said as he broke the kiss. 

“I thought that you and Josten-”

“We are,” Andrew cut in dismissively. “Matt is too.”

“Oh,” was all Jean could think to say. Back at the Nest, there had been no exclusive relationships. While most relationships in the real world weren’t like that, Jean had heard there were still a few. Boyd said his goodbyes before heading down the hall to the back stairwell. Andrew started off in the other direction. Jean had to run after him once he’d locked the door. Neither of them spoke in the car. They never did but there was a weight to the silence now that Jean didn’t know what to do about. A thousand small talk topics flitted through his head but he knew Andrew wouldn’t appreciate any of it so he kept his mouth shut, contenting himself to stare out the window. 

Jean is ready to run by the time that they pull up at the court but he doesn't. He needs to prove that he’s going to have Andrew’s back so he stays with him. 

It’s kind of awkward for a while. Andrew doesn’t like having Jean towering over him from behind bc it makes him feel vulnerable so he’s always really tense. 

The turning point in their relationship is when a striker from another team tries to start a twitter feud with Andrew. He gets asked about it in an interview and the interviewer pulls a Kathy Ferdinand and reveals that the striker is backstage. Jean is sitting with Andrew for the interview and when they try to start shit live on air, Jean snaps. He cuts the striker a new one, roasting them within an inch of their life and the interview is forced to end bc the striker throws a punch. Andrew steps in front of Jean, catching the punch with ease and judo flipping them. 

Neither of them really acknowledge that it happened but, when Andrew comes to breakfast the following Monday, he brings a loaf of sweet bread that he baked over the weekend. 

Things kind of settle after that. Sometimes Andrew leaves recipes for foods he wants and Jean starts filling their silences with something other than the news. He complains about Americans and moons over Jeremy and starts teaching Andrew French too. 

Jean has his own tiktok and most of his vids are of himself cooking and have Andrew reacting at the end but there’s a few subsections tho. One of them is Andrew and Jean and their baking escapades. It’s always super messy. Another is their ‘date nights’. On the weekends, the two of them get a little extra dressed up and go out to sample new restaurants.  They’re both massive foodies so they like to try new restaurants together. Andrew is a surprisingly picky eater and listening to him critic food is the most Jean has ever heard him speak. Platonic dates are actually incredibly nice n more ppl need to indulge in them. 

The final subsection is fashion/makeup. Jean likes to do makeup bc… why not? Sometimes, he manages to convince Andrew to let him be his model and does some really interesting looks on Andrew. Those videos never see the light of day but it’s something they do and it’s very important to Andrew. There’s something very intimate about letting Jean touch his face for hours on end but it also kind of feels nice. Also he loves the way Neil and Matt fawn over him when he skypes them with his makeup done. The fashion videos,  however, do go up. The two of them go to the mall p often and take turns styling each other. They do style challenges too where they’re both given the same horrible item (something like crocs or a really ugly sweater) and they have to make the other person look good in them. 

They do little nice things for each other. When Neil has a game against Bluefield, Jean gets Andrew front row tickets for him and manages to convince Matt to come down too. Andrew learns how to make french pastries that he leaves on Jean’s counter pretty often bc it reminds him of home. He also gets Allison to help him pull some strings and arrange for Jean to spend Christmas break in France with Jeremy. Jean doesn’t cry but he does tear up a little bit. 

Andrew is still a menace and you see that on his tiktok. He rigs ridiculous pranks like setting up a tripwire to dump glue and feather on him or wrapping all his stuff in plastic wrap.

[emeraldwaves]

Title: The Sweetest Girl Pairing: KateAaron, Andreil Rating: T Word Count: 5,009 AO3

Summary:

Aaron doesn't consider himself a good Postmate. He doesn't particularly like his job. However, there's one bakery that he doesn't mind picking up orders from.

This was written for the @aftgexchange for @thetallwinchester ! I hope you enjoy this silly little Bakery AU! :D Thank you for the prompt!!

The phone buzzes on Aaron's dashboard and he looks at the device with disdain. If looks could kill, the thing would've exploded right there in his damn car.

[You have one new delivery request!]

Aaron regrets everything.

The small line is slowly moving down his screen. He's running out of time to accept this order and though he really doesn't want to, he knows it's either this one or some other shitty food pick up.

He taps his screen, accepting the order, and sighs.

Postmates sucks. Not as bad as Uber, cause there is far less human interaction with Postmates, but people can be so damn finicky about their food.

He pulls up the order on his phone screen. Fox Bakery, three miles from where he is now. Not bad, though he's never heard of this place. The person wants some cookies and a bagel. Interesting combination, but not the weirdest order he's ever gotten.

Putting the car in drive, he follows the map on his phone, annoyed he even has to do this. Postmates isn't a difficult job, but it's not ideal. It's tedious, it wears down Aaron's car, people are rude, and the list of awful shit goes on and on, but it pays the damn bills well enough.

Living with his brother and his cousin in their tiny apartment also isn't ideal, but he tries not to complain about that either. At least, not out loud. It's a place to live, a means to an end. Eventually, he'll be done with medical school and he'll be making so much money he'll be able to buy multiple houses. Houses he won't have to share with Andrew and Nicky.

It takes him a minute to find the damn bakery. It's actually not on the road it says it's on. It's down a side alleyway, sort of around the back of the street. Without the stupid little Postmates app, Aaron would definitely have gotten lost.

The front entrance has a few paw prints on it, and the logo is orange: Fox Bakery. A fox sits behind the text, it's tail making the curve of the 'y'. Aaron's just happy he found the damn place.

He pulls the door open, a small bell jingling at the top. The place smells heavenly, Aaron can't deny that. He doesn't have his brother's sweet tooth, but stepping in here, he can see the appeal. It smells like freshly baked cake and sugar. The smell wraps itself around his body and Aaron could take a nap right there on the floor, letting the comfort take over.

"Welcome!" A chipper voice calls out, and a girl pops up from behind one of the counters. Her long brown hair is tied up into a ponytail, a bow wrapped around it. The ribbons almost look like little fox ears. Lame. Her smile is wide, her dark eyes glistening with excitement.

Honestly, no one should be this excited working in the customer service industry, but she's certainly owning it, and Aaron can't fault her.

"Can I help you? We just took some cakes out of the oven if you're looking for something fresh!" Her voice takes on a bit of a sing-song, the lilting tone soft, yet tempting. Aaron's mouth goes dry.

For a second he forgets why he's there. Between her beautiful face, and the delicious smell, he tries to focus, but he just keeps staring.

"Uh," he says finally. Real smooth. He needs to get out of here. "I'm picking up for... Jeremy? Postmates," he says, holding up his phone.

"Oh! Great! Of course!" The girl beams at him and makes her way to a small shelf near the back. There are a few bags there, probably waiting to be picked up. "Here you go! Three cookies and an everything bagel," she says. "Do you know if they want cream cheese?"

"Just... throw some in there," he says, waving his hand to the side. He doesn't really care either way, but getting to stay here for a couple additional seconds isn't all that bad.

"Sounds great!" She tosses a few tiny cups of cream cheese into the bag and wraps it up, putting a cute fox sticker on the edge of the bag to keep it shut. Reaching over the counter, she hands it to him.

"Thanks," he mutters, taking it from her. Orange looks horrible on everyone, but somehow she makes it work. His eyes fall on the name tag on her sweater: Katelyn. Cute.

"Katelyn," he says, not realizing he said anything out loud.

"Yes? Oh! Yes! That's my name," she giggles. "Do you want to try something? I mean, since you came all the way here."

Aaron glances around the case. He really doesn't have much of a sweet tooth... "Uh, no thanks."

"Oh." Her face falls and she presses her teeth into her lower lip before smiling again. "No worries! Happy delivery!"

Fuck, he's dumb. He mentally kicks himself for saying anything. How is it he loses his mind so quickly over one pretty girl? He's not normally this awkward. Actually, that's debatable, but whatever. "Thanks," he mutters again, and rushes out of the store.

At least the bakery is out of the way, so not many people order from there. Maybe he'll never go back.

~~

The problem is, Aaron wants to go back. He can't stop thinking about stupid Katelyn and how cute she is and the soft orange ribbon in her dark brown hair. She's stunning. Absolutely stunning, and as much as he hates his damn job, he's secretly waiting to get pinged for Fox Bakery.

But it never comes.

He supposes he could go there himself, and actually order something, but Aaron tries not to go to restaurants in his free time. He saves money by cooking at home, and why would he want to go places he always has to go for work? Still, he's actually tempted to go back and buy something just to see her one more time.

Creepy.

No, he's not a creep, and he won't go back for no reason.

But he will go back if he gets another order from there. Which, thankfully, a week and a half later he does. It's probably the fastest he's ever accepted an order.

The little bell jingles when he enters the place, and a short guy stands by the register. He's got bright blue eyes and messy brown hair and he looks entirely uninterested in being there. Disappointment washes over Aaron. Of course Katelyn doesn't work there everyday and he shouldn't expect her to always be there.

Sighing, he makes his way to the counter, taking the loss. "Hey, I'm picking up a delivery for Postmates."

The guy looks up, face unchanging. "Yeah, okay. Name?"

"Uh, Laila," he says, glancing down at his phone.

"'Kay." The guy walks over to the shelf right as Katelyn opens the door from the back, stepping behind the counter.

"Oh! Hey! It's the Postmates guy!" She laughs, and gestures to him.

"You know him?" The other worker asks, pulling the bag from the shelf.

She turns to look at him, her dark eyes full of excitement yet again. How someone can be so happy working in a bakery is beyond Aaron. "Well, sort of! He's come in before." She looks down, her cheeks flushing. "Sorry, I actually never got your name."

"Aaron," he says, reaching over the counter.

"Katelyn!" She smiles, waving at him. Though she quickly straightens up and gasps. "I-I mean I guess you already knew that from my name tag!" She gestures to the small badge on her shirt.

"Yeah," Aaron says.

The guy next to them scoffs, and clicks his tongue. "Shouldn't you deliver your order?" he asks.

Immediately, Aaron frowns. Who the hell is this guy? Maybe he's Katelyn's boyfriend and he wants Aaron to leave cause his girlfriend is obviously one of those people who is nice to everyone. Or maybe he has a crush on Katelyn and is jealous her attention is elsewhere.

"Oh! Neil's right!" she says. "Sorry for keeping you."

He wants to urge her that it's not a big deal. Worse case, he just gets less of a tip, which honestly, he wouldn't mind if it was because he stood here talking to her.

"Do you want a small sample to go?" She asks, and Aaron glances around the store. He should probably take something. It would be the polite thing to do, but Aaron really doesn't know what to take.

"I should... probably get going," he says, gesturing to the door. So much for staying and talking to her.

"Right! Of course! Good luck, Aaron!" She bows her head toward him and he stands, watching her. He waves, after what seems like both an eternity and not long enough, and heads back out the door. He wishes things had lasted longer than that.

~~

He notices the bakery popping up more and more on his Postmates app. It's like everyone suddenly realized what a hidden gem this is. For once, Aaron doesn't care. He doesn't even care that he has to park on a side street and walk all the way around through the alley just to get to the damn place.

It's worth it when Katelyn is there.

He's been lucky. The majority of the time he goes, Katelyn is there. She always greets him, popping up from behind the counter with a cheery: "Hello Aaron!" A few times he's even smiled at her.

Every time he leaves, she asks if he wants to try something, and he always says no. Each time, he starts to regret it more and more. He just... panics when she asks, never sure what to pick.

A few times he goes, and Neil is there working by himself, and Aaron hates those times. Neil is nothing like Katelyn. The guy is completely uninterested in everything, and even though they both know each other's name, the conversation is always as short as it can possibly be. Aaron grabs his order and practically dashes out the door.

He wonders if Neil notices the difference between when Katelyn is there or not there. Aaron spends a grand total of 10 seconds in the store when it's just Neil but with Katelyn he always lingers for at least a minute. Or two.

It's stupid because he never actually talks about anything with her. Usually she talks about the specials or asks how Aaron's deliveries have been. One time, she talked about a rude customer who had come in just moments before. Aaron's honestly thankful he hadn't been there, because he probably would've punched the guy’s face in if he saw someone being rude to her.

One day, he gets a particularly large order: a dozen donuts, some cupcakes, and a half dozen cookies. He's hoping he gets there early, before the order is ready. Hopefully Katelyn will be there too.

Aaron doesn't really understand what it is about the girl that interests him so much. Honestly, he should despise someone as peppy as her. Yet, he can't help but find her endearing. He loves the way she giggles, and how her hair is always pulled back into a signature ponytail. He adores the way she says his name. Somehow, she always manages to punctuate the 'A's like they're really important.

Making his way down the side alley, he pops into the store, the tiny bell jingling. "Hi Aaron!" He hears her voice immediately, the high pitched tone cutting through the small room.

"Hey Katelyn."

"You know," she says, leaning against the countertop. "I was hoping this big order would be you. We're just waiting on the cupcakes!"

"No problem," he says, and for once he actually means it. Waiting for this order will be anything but torture.

"I can go check on them if you'd like! I know people can be mean when their food isn't on time," Katelyn says, a gentle sigh slipping from her lips.

"More bad customers today?" Aaron asks, looking around the empty bakery. He's glad when he's in here alone, it means he has the chance to try and talk to her, even if he often sucks at it.

Katelyn shakes her head. "No... the other day, my roommate gave our Postmate a horrible tip because he couldn't find our apartment. I felt so bad, I couldn't stop thinking about you and how hard you work. Even if a Postmate is slow, I try not to tip them too badly."

Aaron's cheeks light up. He's not even that good at his job. He doesn't even like working for Postmates. "Oh, uh, well, you know, not everyone is a good Postmate."

"I know, but who knows, maybe they legitimately got lost! Our complex is a little confusing," she explains.

Aaron is about to say he understands because he's gotten lost before but he gets cut off when a woman with long dark braids steps out from the backroom, carrying a hot tray of cupcakes. The smell is overwhelming, and it actually makes his stomach gurgle.

"Hello!" The woman says, placing the tray down. "Is this a regular?"

"Sort of!" Katelyn laughs. "This is Aaron, he's a Postmates driver."

"Oh! Hello!" The woman smiles. "I'm Dan. My husband Matt and I own this place. Thank you for coming by."

"Oh, cool," Aaron says, mostly because he has no idea what else to say.

"I'll get these bagged up for you," Katelyn says, and carries the tray over, wrapping up the cupcakes. "Are you sure I can't interest you in one? You've been in here so many times and never tried anything."

Aaron purses his lips. He always feels guilty saying no, and especially now, in front of the owner. This probably isn't the time to refuse. Swallowing, he nods his head. "Yeah, I'll uh, I'll take a cupcake." He supposes he can give it to Andrew.

Katelyn's face lights up, her eyes shimmer. She claps her hands together. "Of course! It'll be my treat! I promise you'll love it. I think cupcakes are our specialty... though, I do like the chocolate chip cookies too. A classic, you know?" She wraps up the treat and puts it in a separate bag, holding both out to him.

Nodding, Aaron takes the bags from her, separating the two. "Thanks."

"See you soon!" she says, waving, her beautiful smile lighting up her face. Holy heck she's so cute, Aaron wants to bury his head and never look at anything else again.

"Yeah," he nods, trying to stay cool. "See ya'."

He really does hope he'll see her again soon.

~~

"What the hell is this?" Andrew asks, holding the cupcake in his hand. He twists it around and gives it a glare. "You poison this?"

Aaron rolls his eyes, clicking his tongue. "Yes. When you eat it, you'll finally die."

His cousin pouts, looking at the sweet treat in Andrew's hand. "You didn't get me one?"

"Nope. She only gave me one freebie. I wasn't gonna buy more," Aaron shrugs, hopping over the couch to take a seat.

"Dammit, Aaron! You should've handed it to me, at least I would've shared with Andrew-wait," Nicky says, stopping in the middle of his thought. "She?!" He gasps loudly, and makes his way around the couch, cupcake completely forgotten. "Aaron, do you have a girlfriend?!"

"Gross," Andrew scoffs, unwrapping the cupcake on the couch.

"...I don't... have a girlfriend..."

"He hesitated!" Nicky screams, bouncing up and down on the squeaky cushion. "Who is she, and why is she giving you free cupcakes?!"

"I dunno, she's just a girl at this bakery," Aaron says, shrugging. He sinks back into the couch. The last thing he wants to do is tell them about Katelyn. He'll never hear the end of it, and Andrew might hunt her down and murder her. So, better to keep his mouth shut.

Next to him, the wrapper crinkles, and Andrew tosses the trash on the table in front of them, ready to dive into the treat.

Nicky scoffs loudly. "Aaron, your cheeks are red. You're lying!" He hums loudly, bouncing up and down once again.

"I'm not lying!"

"You are!"

"Fuck," Andrew curses next to them and both Aaron and Nicky turn to look at the unruly blond. "Where the fuck did you get this?"

"Uh... why?" Aaron asks, immediately skeptical. The last thing he needs is his brother snooping around in his business. He likes Katelyn. As much as he hates to admit it, he likes her. He likes her smile, her hair, how she probably smells like freshly baked treats all the time. He likes going into the bakery; he doesn't want his brother and his cousin to ruin this for him.

"Aaron. I asked you where the fuck you got this," Andrew repeats. He's holding the cupcake in his hand, bouncing it up and down, a large bite missing from it. He's got a bit of frosting on his nose, but Aaron isn't about to point that out.

"Just a small bakery in town."

"We're going," Andrew says, shoving the rest of it into his mouth.

"What?"

"Tomorrow," he says, after swallowing. "We're going to this bakery."

Needless to say, Aaron knows he doesn't have much of a choice.

~~

Katelyn blinks when Aaron steps into Fox Bakery with his twin. He supposes it's pretty jarring, seeing two people who look exactly the same when you don't expect it. "Hi Aaron! You didn't tell me you had a twin." Katelyn smiles her glowing smile.

"Yeah, this is Andrew," he says, gesturing to his brother who is eyeing all of the sweets behind the glass counters.

"Can I help you?" Neil asks, looking down at the blond. Andrew tilts his head up, stares at Neil and scoffs, like he's seen the most disgusting thing in the world. Only, Aaron knows his brother well enough to know that disgust means Andrew is interested. Of course his brother would be interested in Neil. The two of them can be uninterested assholes together. It's oddly perfect.

"No," Andrew clicks his tongue and Katelyn immediately looks distressed.

"Is he okay?" She whispers the question, leaning over the countertop.

Aaron rolls his eyes, looking at the way his brother continues to scan the treats, his eyes constantly flicking back toward Neil. "Yeah," he says. "He's just like that. It's fine."

"Oh," Katelyn says, narrowing her eyes at the two boys. "Well then, are you here to pick up an order?"

"Nah, my brother..." He pauses, realizing he doesn't want to tell her that he didn't eat the cupcake she gave. For some reason, he thinks it might hurt her feelings. "I gave him some of the cupcake and he really liked it. He's got more of a sweet tooth than I do."

"I see!" she says, smiling. "I can give him suggestions-"

"No, just... let him do his thing," he says, but then quickly turns back to her. "You can suggest stuff to me, though." Even if he ends up giving it to Nicky this time, at least he can get her talking.

"Oh! Okay, well, I'm gonna force you to pick a chocolate chip cookie. Like I said, classic," she giggles, pulling one off of the shelf. "I'm also a fan of the fudge, but if you don't like sweets I think that might be too sweet!"

Aaron honestly stops listening to the specifics of what she's saying and just watches her talk. He's ignoring everything else. He doesn't even notice the stare down Andrew and Neil seem to be having. He watches as Katelyn gestures to various treats, her eyes lighting up as she talks about each one. She's really passionate about working at this bakery, unexpected, since Aaron can't imagine working around people and food in a serious way. But Katelyn seems to know everything about what they have in the bakery.

She's put together a variety of treats for him to try and he doesn't even know what half of them are, but she's so excited about it he doesn't wanna disappoint her.

Neil slides a tray of more sweets down to the register. "These are for him," he says, gesturing to Andrew. His twin looks vaguely amused, and pleased with his selection.

"I'll ring you guys up," Katelyn nods. "You'll have to let me know what you think the next time you come in."

"Yeah," he says. "I'll let you know." He wishes he could share the treats with her, but that would require him to ask her to spend time with him outside of their little encounters and, well, he's just not ready to do that.

~~

Later, he actually tries some of the treats Katelyn gave him before Nicky steals the rest. She was right, the chocolate chip cookie was the best, by far. It's so good, in fact, he wouldn't mind having another one. Some of the cakes are a bit too sweet, but he tried.

Andrew is absolutely addicted to the Fox Bakery. He goes all the time now, usually without Aaron, and he buys shit for himself. Aaron can't complain, but he does get a little jealous of the fact that Andrew is always going there. A couple of times he thought to go with his brother, but he doesn't want his brother to see him around Katelyn. Nicky and Andrew have already teased him enough for it.

There's a part of him that wants to ask Katelyn out, but he has no idea if she's interested. Hell, she might have a boyfriend! Maybe it's Neil? Either way, Aaron isn't ready to just jump into asking Katelyn out. Besides, why would she be interested in someone who barely talks to her, despite how nice she's been to him?

Aaron likes to think he can keep his mind off her, but what really does him in is seeing Neil at their apartment a few weeks later. He's stopped into the bakery a few times to make a few deliveries, and Neil never once said anything to him. Yet here he sits, on their couch, leaning against Andrew.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Aaron yells.

"Uh, I'm hanging out with your brother, my boyfriend," Neil says, shrugging as if he's so confused why Aaron is so mad.

"Your what?!

"Unlike some people, I take what I want," Andrew says, popping a mini cupcake into his mouth. Aaron hopes the idiot gets fat from all the sweets he keeps eating just to, apparently, go and hit on Neil.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Aaron growls, folding his arms over his chest.

Nicky pokes his head out of the kitchen, carrying a large bowl of popcorn. "It means that you've been pining over Katelyn for months now and have done nothing about it."

"W-What?!" Aaron scoffs, taken aback. "You've never even been to the bakery!" He yells, trying to shift the focus to Nicky.

"No, but Neil and Andrew told me all about it," Nicky shrugs. "Plus, I know you! You probably just stand there, all quiet like an idiot, barely talking to her!"

"I talk to her!"

"Barely," Neil scoffs, reaching forward into the bucket to grab popcorn. "Not like she's any better. She's always talking about you, hoping every time we get a Postmates order that you'll be picking it up."

Aaron's heart skips a beat. Katelyn talks about him? It's not just him who is constantly thinking about her, hoping an order for Fox Bakery will pop up. She wants to see him? She wants him to come in? "S-She is?" He asks the question before he can stop himself.

"Yup," Neil shrugs.

"Oh man, so you're both pining fools! It's perfect!" Nicky yells, laughing as he leans back against the couch.

"Shut up!" Aaron yells, glaring at his cousin."You know what? I'll go right now!" He stomps toward the door and grabs his jacket.

"It's closed," Neil calls out.

Huffing, Aaron slams his jacket back onto the hook and storms into his room. "Fine, I'll go tomorrow!" He slams the door shut behind him. Stupid Andrew, asking out stupid Neil. How the hell did his brother just swoop in and get this guy? At the very least, Neil is just an asshole, and not interested in Katelyn.

Still, Aaron has no idea how he plans to ask her out, but he knows if he doesn't he'll never hear the end of it from the rest of them.

~~

Aaron tries not to think about how weird it is that he's going to the bakery alone for no reason than to ask Katelyn on a date.

A date.

He swallows, the word circling around in his head like a scary demon he has no idea how to face. It's not like he's never asked girls out before, but the thing is, he's never asked Katelyn out before. Katelyn, with her perfect smile, her passion for bakery treats and her signature ponytail that bounces against her neck every time she walks around.

Swallowing, he yanks the door open. He can do this. He's been walking into this bakery for months now. She knows him, he knows her, it'll be easy and not creepy at all.

He smooths out his jacket and steps inside, the small bell jingling as he does. Aaron sees Katelyn right away, bent over, slowly sliding pink and yellow cupcakes into place. She's humming softly, singing along with whatever basic pop song is playing on the radio.

When the bell jingles, she looks up and immediately stands, her ponytail bouncing with her body. "Aaron! Hi! Good to see you! I feel like it's been a few days. Though, your brother came in to see Neil. Are they dating? Neil won't tell me," she pouts.

Her words fire at him quickly and Aaron blinks, staring at her curious eyes. "Uh, I think so," he mutters, rubbing his forehead. "About that-"

"Oh, I know Neil seems a little blunt, but he's a really good guy. Pretty funny actually! So, don't worry about your brother," Katelyn giggles, reassuring him. She waves her hand up and down gently.

"I don’t. I mean that's good," he says.

"Mhm!" She nods, and heads over to the shelf where the delivery orders are. "Picking up?"

"Actually, uhm, no," Aaron says, swallowing.

"Oh! Did you come for your brother? Or... did I sway you with the treats I picked out?"

"The chocolate chip cookie was really amazing," he says. "You did sway me there." He rubs his hands together, leaning against the counter. How is he supposed to just ask her out? Will she think he's only doing it because of Neil and Andrew? Stupid Andrew, jumping into this random relationship with Neil.

"Great! I can give you more, or other things to try, if you want!" She offers it so genuinely, saying it with such a huge smile on her face. It makes his heart flutter, his cheeks growing far too red for his own good. He has to ask, he can't keep standing here staring at her like a total idiot!

"What if... we tried them together?" he asks, the question so quiet.

"Together?" She tilts her head. "Well, I've already tried pretty much everything in the store."

Shit, of course she has! What a stupid way to ask her to spend time together! He mentally slaps himself and exhales. He can do this, he can explain.

"No, uh, okay. Maybe we could get sweets somewhere else then?"

"Oh, but I mean, I'll still show you what's best here," she says, waving her hands back and forth quickly. "I don't want to be biased, but I think we're the best bakery in town."

Dammit.

Shaking his head, he slams his hands down on the glass. "No! Katelyn, I'm asking if you want to go somewhere with me! We can go, you know, on a date!"

She freezes, blinking once and then again, staring at him while his cheeks grow redder and redder. "Oh..." she whispers. "O-Oh!"

He's a fool. An utter and total fool. Neil probably just told him Katelyn was interested to trick him into looking like a total idiot when his brother had done everything right and perfect or whatever.

"Look, you don't have to it was a stupid-"

"What? Aaron! Of course I would want to... go on a date! I-I just was so surprised you asked, I thought you never would," she yells, her words slurring together as she rushes them out.

Huh? What? She really... had been waiting for him to ask!?

"To be honest, I was getting really close to just asking you myself, but there was a small part of me that was hoping you would and... yes! I would love to go out!"

Aaron tries not to look like more of an idiot by doing a stupid dance or something, so instead, he smiles, unable to stop himself. He pulls out his phone and pushes it across the counter. "Put your number in, I'll uh, I'll call you and we can compare schedules?"

"Sure!" she says, picking up his phone while she hands hers to him. "You do the same."

"Great," he mutters, the two trading back their phones.

"I'm... really excited!" She laughs, the sound echoing in the small bakery.

He has no idea what they're going to end up doing, but he has a feeling he's going to love it no matter what. He honestly doesn't care what they do, as long as he gets to learn more about her, and listen to her laugh and talk. Maybe even kiss...

He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself.

"Yeah, I'm really excited too," he says, a smile stuck to his face while he stares at her excited dark eyes.

He can't believe he found Katelyn because some idiot wanted to order some dessert on Postmates. He supposes he can't hate his job all that much, if it led him to the sweetest girl.

[jemej3m]

radio silence (chapter 5: andrew with aaron’s people)

two days left goodness gracious 

chapter 4 

uhh no warnings!!! just soft goodness wow

*

Their apartment was spacious and well furnished, but nothing had made it feel more like a home than having Neil live with him.

It’d only been a month or so after Neil’s permanent arrival when they were officially married. The whole ordeal was a little strange. They dressed nice enough for perhaps a press conference, Andrew wearing a black turtleneck sweater he knew Neil loved, and his nicest leather shoes. He’d dressed Neil, because of course he had: he looked trim and proper in a navy button down, but the elegance was ruined by the sappy look on his face.

“Makes me feel a little spontaneous.” Neil admitted, climbing out of the Maserati in a parking garage nearby the courthouse. “Like we’re running away to California together.”

Andrew had to roll his eyes at that: if they were running away, it’d be in the opposite trajectory to California. Neil knew this and smiled a little wider, linking their fingers together.

“Let’s get those tax benefits, yeah?” He nudged their shoulders together. Andrew shoved his hand into the back pocket of Neil’s slacks: his husband-to-be just laughed.

Andrew never thought he’d be married. He’d known that he would stay by Neil for as long as the man would let him, was willing to admit that Neil was his partner, like Aaron was his brother, and Nicky was his cousin. Marriage itself was a construct that he loathed to abide by, but Neil wasn’t exactly wrong. It was the most efficient method of ensuring that he would be allowed to stay by Neil’s side when he inevitably got himself bowled over and sent to the ER, that he could assign Neil as the benefactor for his life insurance and assets, that Neil had his back as much as he had Neil’s.

Plus, Andrew hated the term partner. It was so invariably vague. Boyfriend was too small, soulmate was too romanticised, but husband fit nicely. It was loyalty and security and home, and that was Neil in a nutshell.

Neil brushed a kiss to Andrew’s knuckles before letting go as they stepped out onto the sidewalk, keeping a practised distance as they walked down the street. They waited in line for ten minutes to be filtered through to the officiant. That was where Aaron was, always early. Matt had yet to arrive, predictably late.

You look nice, Aaron said, with a mildly disapproving tone. But a turtleneck? To your own wedding?

Andrew shrugged. Neil gets horny for this sweater.

Aaron made a scathing noise, startling Neil out of his quietude. You’re tactless. Andrew merely snorted.

“Not all of us are privy to your twin talk,” Neil said, wryly. “Aaron only looks like that when you talk about me. What did you say?”

Aaron stood up and crossed his arms, stalking to the other side of the room in an obvious attempt to disengage from the conversation. Andrew lowered his voice and leaned across the small sofa to brush his lips over the shell of Neil’s ear. “He was criticising my choice of shirt. I told him it doesn’t matter when it’s just going to end up on our floor.”

Neil grinned, fingers twitching over the bicep muscle above his elbow crease. “Well, it is our wedding night. Did we have any other plans?”

That was when Matt bustled in, prompting the start of the ceremony. Andrew held Neil’s fingers loosely, ignoring his brother’s calculative gaze and Matt’s over-emotional sniffles as the officiant read out the vows. They’d stuck with the stock-brand, seeing as the officiant wouldn’t appreciate Neil’s tasteless now you can hate me forever, and Andrew’s scathing if you ever tell me ‘thank you, you were amazing’ again, I’m getting a divorce in response.

They didn’t kiss. Neil did, however, brush his finger under Andrew’s eye and smiled his perfect smile.

“Let’s go home,” he said.

Andrew nodded.

*

The day after was undoubtedly the most chaotic day of Andrew’s life. Neil wasn’t usually the type to get into a tizzy, but the thought of revealing the fact he and Andrew had just gotten married to his family made him all kinds of anxious. He spent the day cooking five variants of shit that was just food to Andrew, berating Aaron from where he was lounging on the couch and letting Matt pet his hair because he was too distracted by Kevin blowing up his phone.

Katelyn’s getting here early, Aaron said. Andrew just grunted in response, laying down on the perpendicular sect of his L-shaped couch. Their heads were close together, Aaron’s eyes already closed despite it only being two in the afternoon.

Congratulations on your marriage, Aaron muttered wearily. Don’t think this means you can wriggle out of a best man speech at mine.

I fucking hate you, Andrew allowed, closing his eyes and settling in next to his twin. He cracked his eye open once, when Neil bustled in from the kitchen only to freeze at the sight of the two of them, napping on the couch. He flipped his husband off and ignored the grin, closing his eyes once more.

He wondered what his life would’ve been like if he and Aaron had been together in the system, or with Tilda. If it hadn’t taken until the age of thirteen for them to figure out that the other was real.

Aaron pondered over Andrew’s thoughts. I think it’s worked out well enough, in the end.

Yes, Andrew allowed. It has.

Katelyn arrived with a smile and a basket of goodies, none of which were patriotic themed. She definitely knew, then, winking at Andrew and slipping into the kitchen to deliver her gifts. Aaron stayed on the couch, waiting till she came back to brush her hand over his cheek to open his eyes. It was too strange to watch something he and Neil did often from the outside, sitting up from the couch and stalking outside onto the balcony.

The sun was slowly crawling towards the horizon, the summer heat shimmering against Andrew’s skin. Their apartment was south-east facing, meaning the sunset was usually visible if you leant on the railing and looked to the right. Andrew kept his gaze on the horizon, ignoring the lurch of ingrained fear in his stomach with practised ease.

The balcony doors opened quietly. It wasn’t Neil, careful as he was, nor was it Aaron, and Matt had no reason to come out here. Andrew ignored the spike of curiosity as Katelyn appeared at his side, holding a cup of herbal tea.

“I heard the ceremony was efficient.” She said, lightly. “I don’t know why Aaron expected anything else. He does know you, after all that time in each other’s heads.”

Andrew decided to entertain her obvious attempt at conversation. Years ago he’d probably put a knife to her throat, but he’d promised Aaron not to hurt her. If that meant giving Katelyn an inch, he’d allow it. “When did he tell you?”

“When you were in rehab,” she admitted. “He was lost in his mind for hours at a time. I knew something was up.” She smiled lightly, taking a sip of her tea. “For what it’s worth, I wanted to thank you. For being there for him. For going along with Neil and I’s therapy ploy.”

“It was a pathetic attempt at best,” Andrew grumbled, sipping his beer. Katelyn merely laughed.

After a little while of quiet (which wasn’t as uncomfortable as he’d assumed it would be), Andrew sighed.

“Thank you for being there for him in ways I can’t,” he allowed, a peace-offering.

Katelyn smiled brilliantly. “You’re a good brother.” After draining her tea, she winked at him. “You’ll be a good uncle, too.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered.

“We were thinking about making you and Neil the godfathers,” Katelyn mused. “Perhaps Neil would appreciate the joke.”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Nicky would throw a fit if you didn’t bestow him a title better than ‘first cousin, once removed’.”

Katelyn laughed. “That’s what we thought, too.” She leaned back off the railing and made to move inside. “Congratulations on getting married, Andrew. I’ll be sure to make Aaron send you the ultrasounds.”

He made a dismissive noise, looking back out to the horizon as he heard his family clamour around inside his apartment, the din slowly growing louder till he was sure that all his Foxes had arrived.

The next time the balcony door slid open, it was Neil. He tucked his fingers into the pocket of his jeans, bringing out the silver wedding bands they’d purchased just an hour before the wedding. When Neil slid Andrew’s ring onto his finger, it fit snugly, the metal already warmed from its brief touches to Neil’s skin.

He wove their fingers together and Andrew allowed an uncharacteristically gentle kiss to the cheek.

“Hurry up, junkie,” Andrew muttered, wilfully forcing his cheeks to un-blush. “Your family is waiting.”

“Our family,” Neil reminded him. Stiffly, Andrew nodded, looking away from the pleased crinkle to his husband’s eyes.

He’d get used to it. One day at a time.

*

[exyjunkies]

wonderful tonight

Summary: Right after hosting the Foxes Christmas party, Neil and Andrew have a moment to themselves in their living room. (read on AO3)

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! I got this finished a day later than I said I would HAHA anyway, I hope everyone’s having a great Christmas <3

Neil doesn’t remember how they got to own this much tableware. He knows he didn’t buy any because they already had the standard set back from the Columbia house, and he’s sure as hell about Andrew not caring enough to get anything new. Maybe they accumulated over the numerous fan presents they’ve received, because some fans were thoughtful enough to really go the extra mile. Maybe they all came in the form of Christmas presents, from those of their circle that believed that he and Andrew were capable of having a family (Nicky, maybe even Matt). 

What was funny was that their owned tableware didn’t match, sets upon sets upon sets getting all jumbled up in their cabinets that they didn’t bother matching anything up with counterparts. Which is how when they hosted the Foxes Christmas party in their household, they had more than enough random sets of tableware for everyone to eat with. 

This year, they decided to hold it in the backyard, seeing as some of the Foxes needed to bring their kids with them - Kevin and Thea with their four year-old daughter, Nicky and Erik with their twin sons, Dan and Matt with their two kids and newborn, and Aaron and Katelyn with their six year-old son. Renee and Allison were still processing their adoption, so it really was only Neil and Andrew that didn’t opt for having children. It was fine though, because Neil thought that if their house could have any purpose, it would be having the Foxes - his family - over.

Their house was big, probably too big for the both of them and their cats. Andrew had it built after deciding to sell the Columbia house, feeling like they’ve outgrown it and all. Plus, with them being on their respective pro teams, a home in a new location was only logical. The commute to and from each of their teams’ bases was a lot more comfortable after they moved, and they decided to stay there even after the both of them were signed to the US Court.

Being Court meant seeing a lot of Jean and Jeremy around, but they weren’t able to make it to Neil and Andrew’s Christmas this year, much to Kevin’s dismay. Something about Jean finally deciding to go to France for his family’s Christmas, and bringing Jeremy along with him. Jeremy had seemed fine with the idea, but Neil knew that Jean had yet to overcome his family’s disapproval with him and the way his life turned out. He hoped they were okay, and sent a care package around a week ago.

With their several sets of tableware, Andrew’s cooking, and Neil on the logistics of the party, everything went smoothly. They all sat to an amazing dinner out on the backyard and sang to songs on Nicky’s procured karaoke set while the kids played on the blankets set out for them just a few feet away. What was notable to Neil was how the group dynamics were completely different from back then. The Foxes were all truly grown up now, far from their wild, carefree selves back in PSU. It’s been almost ten years since they all left the university, and they all led different lives now.

In all honesty, Neil could sit there for hours and think about how much his life has changed.

“Hey.” 

Andrew’s voice from behind him made him jump a bit, almost knocking over his mug of tea. The guests had all gone home an hour ago, and Andrew had made him sit down instead of helping with clean-up. Too preoccupied with not wanting to fall asleep just yet, Neil just nodded and yawned in Andrew’s face in reply.

“Done already?”

“It’s a talent.” Andrew went up to one of their cupboards and took out a tin of chocolate biscuits. Neil shook his head after Andrew tilted the tin towards him in a silent offer.

“You really outdid yourself with dinner tonight. The whole five courses and all.”

“Didn’t want Nicky to be a little bitch about me not wanting Erik to help out. Besides, the kids needed options.”

Neil knew he was talking about Kevin’s daughter in particular, a dark-haired girl named Aubrey. He had talked to Kevin beforehand about not letting the girl get everything she wants, but the girl’s attitude that night made it apparent that Kevin was still behind on discipline. At least Aubrey had more than two dishes on her plate.

The clock on their kitchen wall read 12:03 AM. Neil blinked sleepily at Andrew, the edges of fatigue already around his shoulders. This was the latest they’ve been up in a while. Still, Neil knew they’d stayed up later back then, talking up on the roof and smoking. They really were getting old.

“Well,” Neil said, pushing back his chair and standing up. “We should call it a night.”

Before he could turn around, Andrew said, “Wait.”

“What?”

“Let’s go.” Andrew offered a hand, and Neil was honestly too sleepy to contest.

Still, he asked, “What’s this for?” as Andrew maneuvered the both of them out of the kitchen. They kept walking until they reached the living room, and Andrew let go of Neil’s hand and went up to their stereo.

Neil sat on one of their armchairs and yawned, his third one in the last hour. And he might’ve actually fallen asleep for a bit, until a couple nudges to his foot shook him back awake.

He heard the first few notes of a song he wasn’t familiar with, and saw Andrew offering his hand to him yet again.

“Andrew Minyard, what is going on--”

“Do you not know how dances work, Josten?”

Neil stared at Andrew’s hand dumbly for a few more seconds, until Andrew sighed and yanked Neil up.

“This’ll be quick, I promise,” Andrew murmured in Neil’s ear, and Neil nodded, putting both his hands on Andrew’s hips.

“Is this alright?” Neil patted Andrew’s hips, and Andrew nodded. Slowly, they began moving to the song, finding a slow and steady rhythm.

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair And then she asks me, “Do I look all right?” And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight.”

“Huh, this song isn’t bad,” Neil said softly, a little more awake now. He stared into Andrew’s eyes and smiled. “Softie.”

A small frown came across Andrew’s face. “Shut up. You’re ruining the song.”

“Whatever you say.”

Neil had long grown accustomed to Andrew’s off-brand gestures of affection, as rare as they were grand and meaningful. He already knew he was the more expressive of the two of them, and he was perfectly okay with that. Still, each and every gesture tugged at Neil’s heartstrings, even after having been married to the man for four years.

“Mmm. This is nice.” Neil hugged Andrew closer to him. “Did you feed the cats?”

“Yes. The leftover salmon went to King and Sir.”

“Great.”

After a beat, Neil spoke again. “We’re gonna have to sleep soon, Andrew.”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “I’ll carry you to the bedroom if I’ll need to.”

“Oooh. Can’t pass that up.”

I feel wonderful because I see The love light in your eyes And the wonder of it all Is that you just don't realize how much I love you

Neil pressed a small kiss to Andrew’s forehead. Just because he can. “I love you too, dummy.”

And Neil was expecting some sort of clever retort, because that was what they did, but instead, Andrew just stared back at him. Like... like he was everything. It was enough to make Neil nervous that he wasn’t good enough.

Maybe that was how Andrew looked at him sometimes, when he didn’t notice.

“Yes or no?” One of Andrew’s hands went to Neil’s jaw, cupping it gently.

“Four years really doesn’t do much, huh? Yes, of course.”

They kissed, and the music in the stereo was not loud enough to drown out Neil’s beating heart. Andrew’s other hand went to the back of Neil’s head, angling the kiss better. Neil was in jogging pants and a hoodie, and he felt so warm and comfy against Andrew’s body. In the soft light of their living room, the last few words of the song made it to Neil’s ears, and he hummed against Andrew’s mouth.

I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight

Andrew broke the kiss, and after smirking at Neil momentarily moving forward for more, he said, “Okay, Sleeping Beauty, off to bed it is.”

“Aww, and I was getting so into it too--”

Neil’s words were interrupted as he was lifted up, bridal style. He laughed, and threw his arms around Andrew’s neck.

“I thought you were tired.” Andrew’s grumpy tone made Neil laugh even more.

“Am not.”

Neil spent the whole way to their bedroom kissing the side of Andrew’s mouth in his own form of protest. As Neil opened their bedroom door for the both of them, one of the last things he heard was Andrew's murmured, "I love you too."

And if Neil fell asleep almost immediately after Andrew set him down under the covers, Andrew didn’t say anything about it the next day. 

[thebashfulpoet]

no other name (falling off my lips)

A/N: So I was sitting here minding my own business listening to music as I was avoiding doing hw when I was hit with the inspiration for some Angsty Andreil from my SN&E universe. So I did it. Enjoy the pain while I cry and finish up the last of my hw 

[Read on Ao3]

          Neil sits in the empty studio and stares at the ivory keys beneath his fingertips. They trip and glide over the white and black bars but never press down hard enough to make a sound — almost too afraid of what will happen if he does. The piano was never his instrument, not in any way that mattered at least. No, it was always Andrew’s, a piece of the drummer only few got to see and even fewer knew how deep that part of him went. Maybe that’s why he sits alone tucked away in the empty piano room at Fox Records. It’s the only way he can feel close to him.

           It’s stupid. Neil shouldn’t need an instrument to feel close to the person who made him real — to the person that breathed Neil Josten to life and told him to stay. But the fact is that Neil hasn’t seen or heard from Andrew in almost two months. Not since Andrew had stormed out of their room after the biggest argument they’ve ever had. He could still hear the ringing of the door slamming closed and the rev of the engine and Andrew’s sleek black car peels out of the driveway and races down their quiet suburban neighborhood.

           At first, he just thought that Andrew needed to cool his head — take his space where he needed it after Neil pushed too hard for something he wasn’t ready to give. It was fine. Neil couldn’t begrudge him that, especially when he found his own blood boiling at the mere thought of looking at his boyfriend’s seemingly indifferent face after that particular argument — after he tore himself open only to have it shoved back in his face. He was fine. So, he pulled on a pair of running shoes and lost himself in the streets surrounding their home and city until the sun sets and the sky darkens too much for him to continue. When he gets back, Andrew is still nowhere to be found and his phone is silent. That should have been his first sign that something was wrong. Andrew may disappear from time to time but he always texted Neil, even if just to tell him to leave him alone. The silence was deafening.

           But Neil didn’t heed that whisper in the back of his head, still too angry at himself and Andrew to think any more of it. It was a big argument. Maybe Andrew just needed more time to figure his own thoughts out; god knew Neil still did. He showered and went to bed, ignoring how the bed felt too big with Andrew there on the other side of the mattress and too cold without the warmth of his back pressed against a broad chest. When his eyes closed he thought to himself that tomorrow he would talk to him again. That he would fix this between them.

           He didn’t know that tomorrow would never come. That he would wait day after day with no response from Andrew, no call, no text, nothing. He tried calling only to find that the number couldn’t be reached at this time. Then Neil really started panicking. Clutching his phone tightly in a fist, he rushes out of their room and flies down the stairs until he’s skidding into the kitchen where Nicky is cooking. The tall man startles, nearly tossing the contents of the pan onto the ground as he jumps.

           “Jesus Christ Neil!” he gasps, putting the pan down and turning the flame on low. “What’s-”

           “Have you heard from Andrew?”

           His brows furrow, “Not since Friday. I just thought that he was off on one of his self-isolated road trips.”

           “Friday, you’re sure?” Neil urges him.

           “Yeah. He sent a text saying that he was taking a break and not to look for him.”

           Neil runs through his hair. “Fuck.”

           “What’s going on?” Worry starts to mar his face, but Neil is already turning away, running to the only other person who Andrew would have contacted.

           He finds Aaron sitting on the couch with his phone glued to his hand like always. So irrational part of him wonders if that was Andrew on the other end of the screen no matter the fact that Neil knows the twin have texted each other only a handful of times in the two years he’s known them. Still, he wonders.

           “Are you talking to Andrew?”

           “No.” Aaron doesn’t even bother to look up from his screen as he types away at a message.

           “Are you sure?”

           He sneers, “I think I would know if I was texting my brother or not.”

           Neil wants to tear his hair out. Or Aaron’s. “When did you hear from him last?”

           “God what’s with the third degree? Go bug someone else.”

           “Aaron,” Neil all but growls, “When did you last hear from him?”

           “Fuck you.”

           Neil dives for him then and he would have made it if not for Nicky coming out of the kitchen hot on Neil’s tail and yanking him back just in time. Aaron finally looks away from his phone and stares at Neil like he’s finally lost his mind. Maybe he had.

           “Neil calm down!” Nicky tries to push him further away, but he pulls at his arms.

           “I swear to fucking god Aaron, if you do not tell me right now, I’ll fucking kill you.”

           Aaron gives him a bored look. “What did you lose your boyfriend? Maybe he finally got tired of you.”

           Neil almost breaks free.

           “Jesus Aaron really?” Nicky sighs exasperatedly. “Kevin! Get your ass in here before you have to find a new singer!”

           Kevin ambles in from upstairs, looking for all intents and purposes like he just crawled out of bed despite it being nearly 11 am. “What the fuck is going on now?”

           “Well as you can clearly see I need your help!”

           Kevin looks between Neil and Aaron before turning around and going back upstairs.

           “KEVIN!”

           In Nicky’s moment of distraction, Neil breaks free from his grasp and grabs Aaron, yanking him off the couch and hauling him so they meet eye to eye. “If you do not tell me what I want to know right now-”

           “You’ll what?” he sneers, pulling at Neil’s grip.

           Neil only tightens it. “I was the son of a serial killer that liked to torture people for hours before he granted them even a thought towards mercy. I could kill you in ways that you could only image.”

           Aaron pales and the sneer slips slightly.

           “Neil,” Nicky whispers, voice shaking.

           He ignores him. “Now when did you last talk to him?”

           For a moment, he doesn’t think Aaron will answer him — that his stubborn nature and ill regard for Neil would keep his mouth silent. To his surprise, he answers. “Yesterday.”

           Neil lets him go, the single word enough to open the world beneath his feet and leave him feeling. “What?”

           “I said I heard from him yesterday. He texted to say that he’s going to be gone for a bit and to bug Renee if I needed anything since he wouldn’t be reachable.”

           Neil’s world bottoms out. Andrew was gone. Gone. And he left his family to Renee, not Neil. Trusted Renee to keep them safe not Neil. The message hit him like a ton of bricks: painful and clear. Andrew couldn’t trust Neil to do that job anymore, nor did he want him to.

           Nick was trying to say something to him, but the words fell on deafened ears. All he could hear was that slamming door and the rev of an engine. Over and over again. He’s flying out the door before he even registers moving — feet slapping concrete and sending shocks up his shin until it becomes painful. His lungs heave and constrict in his chest for the too little air squeezing past his throat. This time even when the sky darkens, he runs and runs until the sun peaks over the horizon again and he has to crawl to keep moving. When he gets home their bedroom is still empty and his phone is silent.

           No one hears from Andrew for two months. Kevin is pissed, seething about the fact that they had to halt the progress on their next album with their drummer missing. Nicky looks worried and flickers between mother-henning the band and locking himself in his room to skype with Erik in hushed German. The Foxes range between worried (Dan, Matt, and Wymack) and apathetic (Seth and Allison) with only Renee giving him a sad pitiful look whenever he catches her eyes. Even Aaron starts to look a bit worried, but Neil can’t bring himself to care.

Staying in the house hurts — hurts more than anything his father or Lola ever did to him as a child or adult. He spent hours staring at their empty bed from a spot where he curled up on the floor since he couldn’t bring himself to sleep in it alone. The glass doors to the balcony became impassable and the empty spot in the garage opened a pit in his chest he thought he long since filled. After the first month, he gives up and moves onto Matt and Dan’s couch after the two of them offer him a place in their new apartment together.

           He stares at the keys again, this time pressing one until a soft ping fills the room. The sound breaks something in him and he presses another. And then another and another until the room fills with a simple melody.

           The piano was never his, but Andrew taught him some of the basics during the late nights when neither of them could sleep. It was never anything more than a couple of chords here or there or how to move his hands across the keys — even if they never moved half as fast as his. He loved those nights. Loved seeing Andrew lose himself in the music that once meant so much to him, even if it meant that no one else would.

           He plays the melody over again, and then another time, adding a few complexities as he goes along until he can feel the hint of a song scratching at the back of his mind. His fingers fly and the music twists itself into words in his throat until he starts humming along trying to decipher them. When he opens his mouth, the words come pouring out.

Wish I could, I could've said goodbye I would've said what I wanted to Maybe even cried for you

He didn’t know. He couldn’t have known that when Andrew left he would never get to say goodbye. Even when he thought he had seconds left, he always knew he would spend them saying goodbye and now that he can’t-

If I knew, it would be the last time I would've broke my heart in two Tryin' to save a part of you

           He should have kept his mouth shut. Should have never said a damn thing about it. But he was so tired. Tired of lying. Tired of pretending that he was nothing to Andrew. Tired of people thinking that they were nothing.

Don't want to feel another touch Don't wanna start another fire Don't wanna know another kiss No other name falling off my lips

           He didn’t want anyone else. Didn’t want to pretend that he could want anyone else. It was just Andrew. It would always be Andrew. No one else. Never anyone else.

To another stranger Or let another day begin Won't even let the sunlight in No, I'll never love again

           And he ruined it all. Ruined it because he didn’t want to hide anymore. He wanted the world to know that he was Andrew’s, even if Andrew would never be his. He wanted to scream it to the world, to take Andrew’s hand in his own and face all the shit the world threw at them. Because with Andrew at his side he felt like he could take on anything. But he pushed too hard.

I won't I won't I swear I can't I wish I could but I just won't

           He did the one thing he promised he never would do, he asked for too much. Too much and too fast for what Andrew was capable of giving him. Of what Andrew wanted to give to him. But he grew greedy.  Greedy enough to want for something Andrew had told him from the beginning that he could never have. And yet he pushed, ruining it for good.

I'll never love again

           His fingers slip and bang against the keys, the sharp noise jarring and dissonant to the soft melody still lingering in the air. He moves to start again, but his vision blurs with tears and a choked sob fills his throat. Hands curl into fists and bang onto the keys, filling the room with the same discord and disarray that echoes in his chest.

           “Oh Neil,” Matt whispers from his spot in the doorway, but Neil can’t bring himself to look at him (too ashamed of the tears being spilled from his own doing). He feels a heavy hand fall softly on his shoulder, gently guiding him into a solid stomach. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

           Neil doesn’t say a word even after hours pass and Matt drives him back home. He doesn’t go back to the studio again.

           Two days later Neil’s phone pings with a text message. It’s the middle of the night and his phone sits on the coffee table just out of his reach, the bright light from the screen cutting a path of blue light in the otherwise darkened room. For a second he debates letting it sit there unanswered, almost positive it’s Nicky trying to cheer him up or ask when he’ll come home (as if he still had a home there without Andrew). But that same stupid part of his brain holds out hope that maybe even now it will be Andrew.

           It takes a few tries, but he manages to slide the phone off the table and into his hands, eyes squinting as the bright light shifts to blare in his face rather than the ceiling. He almost drops it when the name registers in his mind. Andrew Minyard. He stops, looks again, looks away, and then check again. The same still stares back at him. With shaky fingers, he swipes the screen open and clicks on the message.

           There are no words, no explanations for where he has gone or why he left without a fucking word, just a simple link sitting in a small blue bubble with a still of a black title card. He clicks on the video only for it to open in his YouTube app. It was uploaded on an anonymous account and the thumbnail was a black background with the words For Him written in italic script. Neil hits play and waits for it to finish buffering.

           It’s a video of himself, sitting in that empty piano room at Fox Records as he belts out the painful melody that took him over. The video is shot from his back so you couldn’t see the tears falling down his cheeks but the waver in his voice gave him away all the same, each intake a break stuttering slightly and his body trembling as it sways back and for. It captures most of the song ending with that same jarring key. Just before the video cuts out there is a soft “Oh Neil” that tells him just who is responsible for this latest video. His eyes dart down to the view count to see that it’s reached millions.

           The phone buzzes again, this time with a single word. Studio.

           Neil is off the couch and out the door in seconds, not bothering with even shoes or a coat despite the chilly autumn evening air. He runs faster and harder than he’s had to in a long time but its all worth it when he bursts through those doors to see Andrew standing there in the lounge. Dark circles rest under his eyes and tense shoulders betray his calm demeanor even as he turns to meet Neil’s gaze.

           “You’re here,” Neil breathes, feeling like it’s the first full breath he’s had in months.

           Andrew nods.

           “You left.” Neil continues, stepping further into the room until they are less than a foot apart.

           He nods again.

           Neil wants to reach out and touch him, but he doesn’t — too afraid that if he does then Andrew will disappear again. “And you’re back? For good?”

           This time there is a hesitation before he nods tightly, chin jerking like the question left him stilted and unhinged.

“Yes or no?” A quiet yes falls from those lips in a raspy voice from disuse and Neil feels something click into place. He falls into Andrew’s space, slotting their foreheads together and tangling his fingers in those soft blonde locks. Something else clicks into place.

           “You left.” It comes out choked and small, even as he pulls away to meet Andrew’s eyes. “You left.”

           “Yes.” He says it simply because it was. He left Neil behind.

           “You left. Without a word or a text for two months.” This time Andrew didn’t bother replying. “What the fuck Andrew? What the actual fuck.”

           Neil pulls away more firmly, anger boiling in his chest as the shock wears from his system. “What the actual fuck.”

           Andrew crosses his arms. “What do you want me to say? I left.”

           “Exactly!” It comes out near hysterical. “You left. Just like that. You asked me to stay and then you left me.”

           Andrew’s jaw ticks but he says nothing.

           “What was I supposed to do Andrew?” Neil grasps for understanding. “We had one argument and then you just disappeared for two months without a single fucking word. What was I supposed to do?! Did you even plan to come back.”

           “I don’t know.”

           “You don’t know?” Neil seethes, “Fuck that you do know. Were you going to come back?”

           Andrew meets his gaze head-on. “I don’t know.”

           Neil deflates, knowing the real answer. “You weren’t.” Andrew says nothing. “God, I don’t even get a reason why?”

           “Why what Neil,” Andrew sighs.

           “Why we have one argument about me wanting to go public about us and you drop off the fucking earth!” Neil explodes walking away. “Why that, Drew. Why fucking that.”

           Andrew is silent for a beat, then two. “Because I can’t give you that.”

           “Then why didn’t you just say-”

           “I did, but you pushed. You pushed and I could see that you would keep pushing even if it took years until I was ready.”

           “That’s right. I would have. I would have waited until the end of fucking time for that, so why push me away?” Neil’s voice is raw against his throat and he can feel tears sting the corners of his eyes but he pushes on. “Why.”

           “Because you deserve better.”

           Neil blinks. “Excuse me?”

           But Andrew is done talking. “You heard me.”

           “No, I don’t think I did.” Neil whips around, “Because it sounded like you just said that I deserve better. Whatever the fuck that means.”

           Andrew remains silent. Neil explodes.

           ���Fuck what I deserve. Fuck what everyone including you thinks I deserve. I decide that.”

           “Shut up.”

           “No, I won’t. And you know what? I fucking deserve to be happy. I deserve to have someone that makes me feel like I’m an actual person. I deserve someone that makes me feel as alive as music does. That’s what I deserve, Andrew.”

           His jaw locks, “Then what are you waiting for?”

           “I’m waiting for him to say that he deserves that too. Because I can’t fight that battle for him as much as I fucking want to.” He crosses the space between them. “I fucking love you, Drew. More than I’ve ever thought I could love another person and I just want you to love you too. No more of this ‘deserve’ bullshit. Decide for yourself.”

           They are inches apart now, breath intermingling and burning amber meeting icy blue.

           “Yes or no, Andrew?” The question is soft off his lips.

           A moment. Then two. Then three. Finally, “Yes.”

           Andrew’s lips slot against Neil’s and it feels like coming home. It feels like first burning him alive and water drowning his every breath until all he can taste and think of is Andrew’s lips and the thundering beat of his chest matching the one in Andrews. They stay like that for eternity or maybe a few seconds before they must pull away for air, neither straying far from the other.

           “Don’t leave again,” Neil whispers into the space between them. “Don’t leave me again.”

           Andrew doesn’t answer, simply presses their lips together until his head becomes dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Hours later they would curl up on the lounge’s couch, Andrew pressed to the back cushions with Neil half pressed to his side and half on his chest. The lights are dimmed and the steady beat of Andrew’s heart lulls him to sleep no matter how long he tries to hold onto consciousness. Just before he slips away, Andrew’s arms tighten around Neil’s torso and he feels the rumbles of his chest as he speaks.

           It sounded a lot like, “I promise.”