#you might think from this that I recently rewatched the menu but actually i just saw one gifset and went into a fugue state

[backlogbooks]

you know the thing about The Menu (2022) is that so many people came out of it being like "haha eat the rich" and yeah, sure, but really the chef's issue wasn't with the rich people, I mean he hated them and wanted them dead yes, but his issue was that he had let the world of ambition take him so far from the joy of cooking that he once felt, from the art that he loved to make, because he let himself chase status and exclusivity, when really he could have been making his art for everyone, at a certain point he did not need to be cooking for rich people he could have found people who appreciated his food because they loved food, he could have leaned into the art he loved instead of the art he was expected to make with the set dressing he was expected to make it in, and that is a critique of capitalism, but it's not an "eat the rich" type critique, it's not just rich people who have had their relationship to art changed by capitalism, we all have in one way or another, think about the phrase "consuming content", we are consuming, not savoring, and what does it mean to be an artist when being an artist means being a content creator, being consumed, and what artistic principles can you really afford to have when you need to make money to live, but what principles will you forget to pick back up when you have the money, how far gone from yourself do you have to be to no longer be able to go back? What does it mean when you haven't cooked a burger for yourself, for your friends, for someone who loves a burger, because you're always, only cooking for those who can afford you? What do you cook for yourself? Do you savor it? What art do you make when no one's watching? Can you still make art when no one's watching?

but the other thing about The Menu (2022) is that they literally don't eat the rich people. Look at me. They do not eat the rich people they are all burned alive, guests and staff, and that's Different

[tl-notes]

Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon S2 Episode 2 Notes

Here’s some notes for episode two, too, if you’d care to join me.

The��“stay quiet” here is 大人し[い] otonashii, which takes the word for “adult” and adjectivizes it. It’s a common word with a variety of meanings, such as  when something is “behaving” properly and not raising a fuss (from children to computer code to a chronic disease to political forces, all sorts of things) or when something comes across as “mature” (like a clothing design or a young person). 

In this case the idea is that the dragons had chosen to “behave” and mind their own business, which (they seem to assume) led the humans into underestimating them and deciding to attack. (”Stay quiet” probably does a pretty good job of getting that across, but just to fill it out.)

This is 残念ながら zannen nagara, or “unfortunately...”. 

The reason I bring it up here, is that it’s not a particularly intimate way of speaking and leans somewhat formal—potentially implying Ilulu has no more close relatives left to give her this news (and/or maybe her family’s social position is one where other dragons had to treat them with respect).

The second line here is 平常心を保つよ、私は, which is a fairly strong declaration of intent. I kind of feel like “I need to keep a clear head” sounds less confident, like convincing herself “ok bad situation, but if I just do this I’m fine.” In contrast, the Japanese imo is more of a “[Ilulu can do what she may,] but it won’t get it to me either way.” Just a mild point of characterization I suppose.

Just for clarity, she does use the word 雄 osu here, which is the more biological term for “in a sexually reproducing species, the one that produces sperm,” rather than a more gender-based term.

The TV show, シャシャシャシャキーン Sha-sha-sha-shakiin, is a combo reference to irl Saturday-morning kids’ variety show じゃじゃじゃじゃ～ン Ja-ja-ja-jaaN and weekday-morning シャキーン! Shakiin!. 

The former’s name comes from the Japanese equivalent of ta-dah!, while the latter’s comes from the ”sound” for becoming alert, going from relaxed/sleepy/bored/etc. to “wide awake let’s go.” (though not necessarily sleep/wake related)

If you’ve seen these two emoji:

(´・ω・｀)  (｀・ω・´)

The one on the right is the “シャキーン” one, and is the contrast to the gloomy one on the left (ショボーン shobon). Or these, going from asleep to awake:

( ˘ω˘ )ｽﾔｧ…  (｀・ω・´) ｼｬｷｰﾝ

In manga and stuff you’ll also see it used for e.g. someone drawing/brandishing a sword, striking a cool poses with a lens flare, things like that.

I think it gets translated to metallic-y sounds in English fairly often in those cases (like drawing a katana, or a mecha pose), hence the translation above. 

The verb for “frolic” here is じゃれる jareru (no relation to jajaan above), which is like to play/mess around, typically in a physical sense. For example it’s used in the compound word じゃれ合う jareau, which is often used in the same way English might say “playful wrestling” about kids or animals.

Though the word Kobayashi uses is actually a different じゃれる compound, じゃれつく jaretsuku, which is like playfully/affectionately grabbing/cuddling up/etc., (also primarily regarding kids or animals). There’s a bit of overlap with some of the uses of ���まえる amaeru mentioned in the last episode’s notes.

Assuming I had the visuals, I’d probably just write this as “Please not on my lap...” or similar. (Kobayashi also uses a different verb conjugation for Tohru vs. Kanna in this scene, ~つくな vs. ~つかないで; Kanna’s being more plead-y compared to Tohru’s more “cut it out!” feel, hence the “please.”)

“Contact” here is “skin-ship,” a portmanteau-esque combination of skin and kinship or relationship. It’s primarily a Japanese word (you won’t find it in English dictionaries typically), but it was apparently coined by an American speaker at an international WHO seminar in 1953 (from which a Japanese attendee brought it back to Japan and it was later popularized). 

The original use of the word was in reference specifically to parent-child physical intimacy, but as it became more widespread in usage the meaning extended to all sorts of relationships, from the platonic to the romantic. 

One reason, presumably, that the term caught on so powerfully in Japan is that it has historically been a very touch-adverse culture (at least compared to say the US), and this extends even to parents with their children after the first few years. You’d see (and still see) psychologists recommend “more skinship” to people, for example.

The relative lack of skinship may partially explain the head pat thing mentioned in last episode’s notes (e.g. when you want to touch your kid, but hugs aren’t on the menu) and things like the old “hand-holding is lewd” meme. (Note this isn’t just me getting all orientalist here; there’s been a good bit of research on the skinship gap, and how it may be shrinking, by Japanese scholars.)

This line is also a bit of foreshadowing that Tohru has realized Kobayashi’s... situation already.

The Japanese here is 心と心でつながった後は体ですよ, which I only really mention because I kinda felt like the English’s “Now...” implied she was saying they only recently ‘connected their hearts,’ which I don’t feel from the Japanese wording and would say is probably not how Tohru thinks. E.g. more of a “Our hearts are already connected; now it’s time for our bodies!” kinda thing.

This 3/3 is March 3rd, which “equals” ♀ because that’s the date of Hinamatsuri, sometimes also referred to as Girl’s Day. The third day of the third month was originally a holiday brought over with the Chinese calendar, and it morphed from a more spring/peaches holiday into it’s more girl-oriented version at some point in the Edo period.

One of the highlights of Hinamatsuri is the doll displays, as pictured in this short bit with the Saikawa sisters. There are various types of displays, but this sort of staircase arrangement is the most common I believe. Each level has a certain type of doll that goes on it, with the top level having an “emperor” and an “empress” doll—which is the pair Riko replaces with dolls of herself and Kanna.

There’s some similarities between these doll displays and stereotypical Christmas trees: a family is likely to have a set of ornaments/dolls they mostly reuse each year, you put them up some time in advance of the actual holiday, then get lazy and leave them up too long put them away for a year after it’s over. A lot of businesses and such will put up displays as well.

“The judge in the underworld” is left vague here and isn’t a specific reference to anything, but is generally in line with the typical “image” of what happens after you die (setting aside actual religious beliefs) in Japan. 

Please see the documentary series Hoozuki no Reitetsu for more info.

As of right now in the anime, Ilulu has only shown up twice, and only once of those when Kobayashi was alone. The implication seems to be that there have been other Ilulu encounters that we haven’t seen. 

Also, for clarity, the Japanese is 私が一人の時にいつもイルルは来るから, which is more of a “whenever I’m alone Ilulu shows up” than a “she only shows up when I’m alone.” (The English could sorta be read either way I think?)

This bit is それだけじゃないって、争い以外もあると思ってくれているからだ。私はそんなトールを信じているから…　だからその為にイルルと和解したい

The main point of contention I have with this English is that it implies Kobayashi wants Tohru and Ilulu to make up. However, I’d say this is more Kobayashi wanting to come to terms with Ilulu herself (and just by extension Tohru/the other dragons/maybe other humans). 

That is, by making peace between herself the human and the “hostile” dragon Ilulu, she’d be helping prove Tohru’s belief correct—and she has faith in Tohru that it is (see also last season finale).  

(Notably while Tohru is Chaos faction herself, there’s not really been another Chaos dragon yet to be convinced like this. Kanna is no-faction, Fafnir is technically no-faction even if Chaos-ish, Quetzalcoatl is an observer, Elma is Harmony, and Tohru’s father is an exception on multiple levels.)

Without getting too deep into the “why,” one quick thing I’ll point out is that she says 和解したい wakai shitai, not してほしい shite hoshii or させたい sasetai etc., meaning it’s something she wants to do herself, not want/make someone else do. Generally speaking you can’t use the ~たい “want to” form for anyone but yourself (you don’t know what anyone else is thinking, after all), unless quoting them, asking, or in the ~がる “seems to want to” form.

This is a 防犯ブザー bouhan buzaa, a crime-prevention buzzer, also known as a personal or self-defense alarm. They emit a very loud sound when activated. The idea is you, well, use it like she does here, when someone is trying to do a crime to you.

Since most Japanese children walk to school, it’s extremely common for these devices to given to students (either by parents or a gov’t body). It’s technically recommended for adults to carry them too, though the advent of the mobile phone has driven down carry rates.

This particular one was probably purchased in episode four of season one, if you want to rewatch and see why!

This is 私にぶつけたい気持ちでもあるの？in the Japanese.

The verb for “tell” is ぶつける butsukeru, an evocative word meaning ~to slam against (somewhat similar to “vent” in English when used with emotions/feelings). 

The “something” is 気持ち kimochi, ~emotion/feeling/thought.

So the Japanese here feels a lot more expressive than "something you want to tell me,” I would say (that could just as easily be a translation of 話したいこと). That said it’s not an easy thing to express in English within the confines of the format here, especially if you want to keep the “target = ‘me’” part.

It might feel somewhat like “You got something bottled up you wanna hit me with?”, though I doubt if I’d use that either.

As a side note, the manga has Kobayashi say an extra line after this, about being the “main tank” to take her “hate” (Japanese for “aggro” in MMOs). 

A small note that “that girl and that boy” is あの子とあの子 ano ko to ano ko, so no gender specification in the Japanese (it’s a good language for talking about people without specifying a gender!).

“Next time” here is 今度 kondo, which is an interesting word because you can situationally use it for “recently,” “this time,” “next time,” or “soon.” 

The reason I bring it up here is the English “next time,” personally, leaves me thinking “Was there a previous time? What ‘next’ do you mean?”—just a heads up that that’s not really an issue in the original line.

Also: this whole extended scene with Kobayashi saving Ilulu is one of the “many senses” mentioned in the episode title. (see also episode one notes re ikemen)

As an aside, this "play” is じゃれ合い jareai, the noun form of the jareau that was mentioned in the above “frolic” note.

If you were wondering: “Do dragons use paper?”, the word here is 形骸化 keigai-ka, (almost) lit. ~reduced to bones, meaning something that once was strong/effective is now basically just a formality. It’s similar to the phrase “dead letter” in reference to old laws that aren’t really enforced anymore.

So two potential points of ~lore relevance~ here: 1) the rules probably used to be enforced, 2) we have no evidence (either way, from this) that they actually have them on paper somewhere.

こりゃトールの父ちゃんは本格的に優しかったみたいだな

This might just be me reading too much into the English (again), but one difference in nuance between these two lines is that the English has Kobayashi implying Tohru’s dad “seemed” kind (which implies he’s not really kind, just kind in contrast to this villain), while the Japanese is more taking this as evidence that Tohru’s dad was actually being kind (see also last season finale).

For those wondering if the みたい in that line would imply a “seems”: it sort of does, but it applies across the whole observation here. I.e. “seems Tohru’s father was genuinely nice” vs. “making Tohru’s father seem genuinely nice” (which I’d guess would probably use 優しく見えてくる or something). 

When you see “underestimate” in anime, most of the time it’s なめる nameru. It comes from the verbified archaic adjective 無礼し nameshi, meaning a combination of looking down on, acting rude towards, etc., and uses the same characters as “rude” (though often written in hiragana/katakana).

It also is a homonym of the verb “to lick,” so “Don’t underestimate humans” sounds identical to “Don’t lick humans.”

“Functional member of society” is 社会人 shakaijin, ~lit. person of society, which is a very commonly used word to refer to basically anyone who is an active member of society. It includes homemakers, so it’s not strictly “has a job at a company,” but in many contexts it’s used like “people with jobs” versus “students and NEETs.”

(Not that there’s anything wrong with the translation, just some extra context.)

A technique reminiscent of this shadow puppet silhouette style was also used in Hyouka, another Kyoani show and one directed by the late Series Director Takemoto Yasuhiro. 

I kind of feel like yelling “Stay with me!” at someone injured is something you do when they’re in danger of fading away, not when they’re waking back up? Maybe that’s just me.

The Japanese is お気を確かに o-ki wo tashika ni, a polite (since Tohru almost always speaks kinda formally to Kobayashi, as part of the maid thing) way of saying “pull/hold it together,” and is used in a variety of situations.

Kanna’s line is a question (e.g. like “are you okay?”) in the Japanese here, whereas the English sounds more like something you say to someone who’s injured to try to reassure them. 

This line is その子離れようとしないんです sono ko hanareyou to shinai n desu.

The English is a pretty literal translation: hanareru is the verb for leaving/separating (in some senses), and the ~you conjugation means “try to ~”. However, that conjugation also has a second use in just indicating intent—especially when used in the negative, like here—so e.g. “She didn’t want to leave your side,” or “She wouldn’t leave your side at all.”

（◎Д◎）

Just in case: this is an emoji for expressing shock. 

One thing that is left out of the English in this line is the だけ dake, “only.” 

So Kobayashi’s not necessarily surprised at this by itself, but in contrast to the fact that Tohru says she probably can hide her claws/tail (so why not this too?). 

The base phrase Tohru is saying here is 私たちの仲じゃないですか, which roughly means “that’s just our relationship,” and is used commonly when being thanked for doing a favor for someone close. It’s similar in meaning to something like “hey of course, no problem, I know you’d do the same for me.”

Tohru puts a little spin on it by adding the “eternal” to make it 永遠の仲, which is a separate phrase that means probably what you’d think it means.

This quick cut to Tohru’s feet and the light “foot pop” motion... I have a hard time believing it’s anything but the director trying to give some subtle “goodbye kiss when leaving for work” vibes, even if they aren’t literally kissing. Just me?

Here she says あのトール ano Tohru, lit. “that Tohru,“ which in this sort of context carries a meaning similar to using an italicized “that” in English: not just any Tohru, but that Tohru, the famous one. The implication is that yes indeed Tohru is well-known among other dragons—and known to be quite strong and merciless.

It’s not a particularly big deal, but technically this is 人間と, i.e. Living with.

The ball hands thing is generally thought of as “Doraemon hands” in Japan. Doraemon gets the name from the food “dorayaki,” but “Dora” is also how you pronounce the first two syllables in “Dragon” (ドラゴン doragon).

Keep this in mind.

挨拶 (あいさつ) aisatsu, often translated as “greeting(s)”, is a lot bigger of a thing culturally for Japan than it might be for where you live. Though translated as “greetings” it also includes farewells and more. Basically a general term for “in X situation, say Y” style semi-set phrases.

In more traditionally minded companies, for example, employees are often expected to give a rote ohayou gozaimasu when they arrive (even if they think no one is around to hear it), and may get chewed out for not doing so or half-assing it. Then when passing someone in the hallway etc., an otsukare-sama desu, and yet another phrase when leaving for the day. Also the ittekimasu and itterasshai (when leaving home/saying bye to them) or tadaima and okaeri (returning home/welcoming back) that probably many anime-watchers are familiar with. Even itadakimasu is an aisatsu. 

Obviously every culture utilizes “greetings” like this, but in Japan they’re pretty heavily ritualized and treated as a cornerstone of human relations, a key part of showing respect for your fellow humans (even people you hate!) and ensuring the smooth working of society. It’s not the thing they chose to have Tohru put first in her “living with humans [in Japan]” notebook for nothing!

The English “the” is a popular word to use in Japanese as an intensifier, similar to how it’s used in a sentence like “this isn’t just an [example], it’s the [example]!” 

It’s usually pronounced “za” and often written that way in katakana (ザ) for this usage. (If you type “za” in a Japanese IME, most will offer up “the” as one of the options to convert the text to, even.) 

The word she says here is 喝 katsu, which, in this sense, is a stereotypical thing for a Zen teacher to say to a student as a stand-in for explaining some deep Zen concept that words can’t describe. So here, it’s kinda like “Yes this may seem contradictory, but really it’s just too complicated for you! No more questions!” 

Obviously that’s oversimplified and it’s used in other ways too (see Saikawa’s father during the sports festival), but just for the purposes of this joke, there you have it.

The word used in the Japanese here is 建前 tatemae. If you’ve ever studied any Japanese, you’ve likely heard about honne vs. tatemae, your inner feelings vs. the front you put up for social reasons. 

People new to the language are sometimes prone to approaching that distinction with “well why doesn’t everyone just honne all the time, why play games?”, but of course almost everyone splits themselves like this. You probably hate your boss, but you also probably don’t tell them that to their face to avoid getting fired. Or maybe you have some family members you can’t stand, but act nice around anyway because it’s not worth the trouble to start fights. 

Japan just put names to the idea, and maybe leans a little more toward encouraging tatemae in more situations.

This is せいぜい悩むんですね.

せいぜい seizei as an adverb means doing something to utmost extent one is capable of. You’ve likely heard it from a villain somewhere saying something like “Struggle all you like, wahaha!”. 

Though it’s not necessarily down-talky like that, in modern times that is the trend (you can use it for yourself no problem, but if used to talk about someone else’s actions it may come off as belittling). Tohru, as one of the strongest beings in the setting and with the pride to match, uses it a lot.

悩む nayamu is to worry, fret, ruminate over (some difficulty etc.).

The sentence in general is one that is highly context dependent, but here it’s Tohru thinking to herself, somewhat impressed, that Ilulu is actually putting serious thought into the question of what she wants to do with her life. 

And, as the background suggests, finding it surprisingly adorable/admirable; up until just a few days ago, Ilulu was known as one of the most extremist Chaos faction dragons obsessed with nothing but destruction, yet look at her now. In a way, Tohru’s taken over an older sister kind of role for her.

(For the curious, if the ね was dropped or swapped to a よ here, that would imply she was directing the comment “at” Ilulu, rather than saying it in observation.)

The word here is 契る chigiru, which usually means to swear/pledge (e.g. swear a pact, pledge your love), but can also be a somewhat fancy word for having sex, especially of a married couple.

I feel like I personally would have used more of a euphemism for the translation.

The phrase here is ダメの助 dame-no-suke, where dame is no/bad/can’t do/useless, and (no)suke is a common ending to first names; both actual names and sort of on-the-spot nicknames; someone looking sleepy might be called a 寝坊助 nebou-suke in the same way as “sleepyhead.”

Or, as here, sticking to the end of things for comedic effect or as indication of a panicked/confused thought process.

（ ° ρ ° ）

Just in case: this one is also expressing shock, but a kind of dumbfounded shock. The ρ is a drooling, slack-jawed mouth.

In the next episode preview they talk about where Ilulu will sleep, since they don’t have room for another bed. Ilulu wants to sleep in the closet—or more specifically, the 押し入れ oshi-ire, which is a particular closet layout you’ll find in many Japanese bedrooms. 

The typical difference is that an 押し入れ was originally designed for 和室 washitsu, traditional-style Japanese rooms with tatami floors, primarily as storage space for folded-up futon/blankets/pillows, as you would put those away during the day to free up space. Thus they typically are rather wide, mildly deep, and have a waist-height, solid horizontal divider capable of supporting a lot of weight. 

They actually are pretty okay for sleeping in if you’re not claustrophobic or tall.

Anyway, I bring this up because you know who else very famously sleeps in one of these? That’s right: Doraemon.

[adultswim2021]

Ephemera Week (2002)

It’s still ephemera week, and we’re still talking about John K. I said most of my piece on him in the last post, so don’t expect there to go full bore on this one, except I forgot to say he’s animation’s Jerry Lewis. His current stuff is basically Hardly Working. I will not elaborate, because I’m being mean to you0.

MARCH SPECIALS!

In March, Adult Swim advertised a run of one-off specials. A couple of them were already covered because they fell under the parameters of “Adult Swim original production”. They were Welcome to Eltingville (March 3rd) and Saddle Rash (March 24th).

Day in the Life of Ranger Smith | March 10th 2002 - 11:00 PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

This was one of two specials commissioned by Cartoon Network re-imagining Yogi Bear. The artist what took this assignment was John K, who I REEEAALLY skewered in last night’s post, didn’t I?

This is about Ranger Smith harassing animals and writing them up for violating park rules, basically. It’s short! I remember liking it at the time! Okay, maybe I’m going crazy here, but I distinctly remembered a part at the end where Ranger Smith is in bed and he solemnly confides in the viewer that the noises of wilderness give him nightmares and then it just ends. Did I imagine this? It does end with him in bed, but this doesn’t happen in the version on YouTube (which is from the Adult Swim airing). Huh.

Boo Boo Runs Wild | March 10th 2002 - 11:15PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

Boo Boo Runs Wild was another one of these stand-alone Yogi Bear John K specials. This one was 30 minutes long. The Ranger Smith short was a brief 7 minutes; I’m guessing they aired a couple Capt. Lingers or something to fill time.

This one is about Boo Boo reverting to his feral nature and causing BIIIIG problems! This special would later go on to be kind of a weird trolling thing Adult Swim would do where they aired it every Sunday for a few months, even promoting regularly. This was like 2006, I think? They’d also air it as part of April Fools. Is that Adult Swim admitting this special sorta sucks? Does it sorta suck? Again, I liked these at the time and REFUSED to actively rewatch these for this write-up. Sorry.

The Jetsons: Father and Son Day/The Best Son | March 10th, 2002 11:45PM (Originally aired on CartoonNetwork.com in 2001) Our John K rock block ends with a pair of Jetsons shorts, Father and Son Day and The Best Son respectively. This is kinda the same deal as his Yogi Bear shorts, but these were exclusive for Cartoon Network’s website. I remember watching them on there. They are as bad as you’d expect late-period John K internet shorts to be, though the second short is a superior version of Spielberg’s A.I. (in that it’s shorter).

Night of the Living Doo | March 17th, 2002 - 11:00PM (originally aired on Cartoon Network, 2001)

Night of the Living Doo originally aired as wraparound segments during a Halloween Scooby Doo marathon on Cartoon Network. It’s kinda like an episode of the Scooby Doo Movies, which shoehorned in a guest star each episode. Suddenly my man Dick Van Dyke be running a carnival and shit. That’s the Scooby Doo Movies. At the end of the night they played all the wraparound segments in one uninterrupted sitting, so the viewer could appreciate it as an actual full-on Scooby Doo episode. Night of the Living Doo functioned both as an extension of that series as well as a parody. The guests were Gary Coleman, David Cross, and the very cool band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. It was all very self-deprecating and had jokes about the absurdity of Scooby Doo tropes. Well trod territory by this point, sure. But this is better than most irreverent Scooby Doo things. It didn’t hurt that I was a HUGE David Cross fan when this aired. Is this where I tell the stupid-ass story about getting mad at a message board guy for not liking David Cross? Sure. Okay, yeah. When this aired on Adult Swim a guy on Kon’s (hi Kon) message board posted something about not finding David Cross funny, shrugging that he didn’t get the hype. He cited this and his appearances in the Men in Black movies, and nothing else as proof for his lackluster comedy skills. It’s kinda like deeming Eddie Murphy as a bad comedian after watching Dr. Doolittle.

The point of this special is that David Cross is a little wooden and stilted, like in the old Scooby Doo Movies episodes. This poster revealed that he never heard David Cross’s stand-up or seen Mr. Show, explaining “I don’t watch puppet shows” A response that still baffles me to this day. Why Mr. Show isn’t a-- WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? I’m not even sure if there was EVER a puppet on Mr. Show*. David wasn’t even a guest on Crank Yankers at this point! SO WHAT THE FUCK? To this day whenever mutual pals from that board get together and watch a movie or show and a puppet appears we make a joke about this guy. Good story? No? Fuck you.

Other stuff about this show: When it originally aired on Cartoon Network it was a little bit longer than the Adult Swim version. There’s a missing scene. I think it’s David trying to play an improv game with a mummy or something. At one point I had it on tape, but I’m not sure I kept it. Sorry.

*sorry to be coy here, but I do know of at least one puppet on Mr. Show, episode 204 there is brief footage of Grass Valley Greg putting on a puppet show for his staff. This CAN’T be the source of the confusion, can it? It’s literally like, 5 seconds.

MAIL BAG

This’ll teach me to skip a day cuz this really piled up. Thanks, guys. I love all the attention. It is my favorite thing.

I never really saw oblongs as something for the hot topic set. They had Invader Zim and Squee for that kind of shit. Oblongs feel like it was always directly targeting me: the shut-in comedy nerd who would appreciate will ferrell and the sklars being in a thing. Since they ended up doing the exact same show with Janeane Garofalo and David Cross a few years later it seems like that was the goal.

Yeah, I guess that also makes sense. There were a few elements that were kinda gothy but this show was mostly just Angus Oblong ahem, clowning around (puckering mouth to stifle laughter like Chris Elliott in Cabin Boy)

What are your thoughts on the other adult animation blocks of the past couple decades? Spike's notriously failed attempt. Animation Domination. Apparently Syfy has had their own going?

Spike was irredeemably bad. People think this shit is easy. Animation Domination is sorta legit, but it’s anchored by mostly crap. That ADHD thing was kinda good and underrated. Is that still going on? I wish I were more diligent about watching/recording that. Some of them bumpers were good. Also, we mustn’t forget MTV’s oddities. They were kinda the first cable network to court Adult Animation as their thing. They deserve some kind of credit for that. I’m sure they’re doing fine.

I'm having a nice big thing of spaghetti for dinner with some chicken parm? Jealous?

I’ve never had those are they good

What does Ephemera mean? Why is this happenening? Why aren't you talking about 10 Home Movies episodes in a row like a good boy.

In dude time, my friend. In dude time

What would be your Adult Swim dream come true?

Having a complete archive of Adult Swim blocks on a harddrive like Don Giller has with his Letterman archive. Even the commercials and shit. I know of a guy who was a regular taper of the entire block from night 1 but I’m not sure he kept up with it when they went nightly. I should ask him if he still has his tapes, huh?

That or they bring back the BUILD YOUR OWN DVD thing but with blu-rays and you can make your own bumps, which was a different thing they had. THEY SHOULD COMBINE THEM. And you can master it in SD if you wanna put 10 hours of stuff on a disk.

All this is archival bullshit dork shit. Real answer: Clay Croker comes back from the dead and every block is hosted by Space Ghost. That’d be it, right?

If anyone has genuine/better answers please write in with them I wanna keep this conversation going. ‘kay?

McDonalds reintroduces limited edition Adult Swim Toys. You can get them all (plus an extra to keep wrapped for collectors purposes) but you have to spend 20 dollars at McDonalds to grab them all. This is the last day of the promotion. You have to personally eat everything you buy but you can take it home. You can only buy one of each food item. What are you getting? I know the longer the mailbag message is the quicker you are inclined to give some glib remark but indulge this one for once.

Oh wow. I’m literally going to take this seriously. I’d roll in as breakfast was ending. Get myself a McChicken Biscuit and a Bacon Egg & Cheese McGriddle, hashbrowns and a Coffee. Gobble that knob on down. Wipe my mouth with a napkin. It’s lunchtime, bitch. Big Mac, Large Fries, BIG ass soda. You feel me, dude? Lemme tally up. Okay, probably need more. 20 piece nugget. Take that home cuz I’m probably gonna have to save some for dinner. That’s probably 20 bucks right there, especially if you go to the McDonalds on Burnside where all the menu items are more expensive because of the amount of security they have to hire (did you know that different McDonalds have different prices even in the same city? I didn’t until very recently). If this somehow doesn’t satisfy my price point I get a Vanilla shake and eat it anally DURING my BIG D squirt sesh, so it’ll spend as little time in my body as possible. Wait, do I get something for this? I might do this tomorrow just cuz. It sounds like a funky thing to do

Do you think you'll open an Adult Swim mueseum at some point? You seem to be the only steward of its history.

Unless I’m hired to by a large corporation, probably not. Also I don’t think I actually have much in the way of merch other than DVDs. I stopped being a DVD completist at some point around Freaknick The Musical. Oh, I never EVER bought a Robot Chicken DVD, EVER. I literally had a nightmare once that one appeared in my collection.

Hey! Please keep us abreast any time you put more of your garbage on eBay. Maybe you can put your wedding dress on there, you big girl.

Fucking sexist/trasphobic behavior.

Check out my eBay auctions I got season 18 of NCIS up there and some other things :)

The Ripping Friends blow chunks. I don't care if a rapist or the opposite of a rapist (a virgin who volunteers, lol) made it. It sucks a high hard one like when Ozzy banged the Cheiftan's Wife in that Black Sabbath TV Funhouse cartoon. Tell me more.

Tell you more?

Name one rap song you tolerate lol. You can't say anything by weird al or marky mark.

I guess I like the song the pest sings from the motion picture The Pest

Are there any good podcasts on adult swim?

The official one hosted by Matt Harrigan is good, but I’ve only bounced around on it. I don’t know if there’s any formal recap ones. I simply don’t know!

HE'S GIVING HIGH HARD ONE TO CHEIFTAN'S WIFE? UH OH!

Buddy, you are BANNED for LIFE from my MAIL BAG! You drive me CRAZY!

[bucksblr]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[sanstropfremir]

Okay, time for my weekly rant so buckle up. The vocal stages were okay-I cant really remember them well because I watched them only once so take what I say with a grain of salt. Well I watched the Spark one once and I only got through half of the other one because I can’t stand ballads especially when there’s no interesting movement on stage to keep me engaged. Like it’s no fault of the members themselves or the song (I actually think their singing was incredibly beautiful and Eunkwang always sings like his wife just left him with the kids which is how you know he’s good) but I physically could not pay attention. That’s why I liked the spark stage a bit better-there was enough movement that I was able to focus on it. I really liked the use of the fire and the way they were walking in and out of the frame trading off parts so there weren’t too many awkward moments where the other members where on stage but not doing anything. The opening was gorgeous with each members being lit by the spotlight as they harmonize. So stagewise, I prefer Spark but vocally I think the other group was stronger. I love Spark and Taeyon is such an incredible vocalist (I mean the song is great because of her) so I don’t get why their delivery was, I don’t want to say weak, but subdued might be a better word. The only one that really stood out was Junhoe (but also that man couldn’t not stand out even if he tried, not with that incredibly rasp) and even he seemed to be holding himself back a bit. Though it was a bit slow it built up well to the two last choruses but still the first half could have been stronger. I know they were trying to draw it out to a strong pay off but I don’t really know if it was enough. And yes the suits were *chef’s kiss*. I think at this point in their career the FNC stylist has put SF9 in so many suits they’ve got it down to a science. Also I’m a sucker for those shirts with the triangle cut out and we got not one but two of them here.

Okay moving on, I’m not sure which group was next but I’ll talk about the Ikon stage. It seems like they finally realized that they’re on a performance based competition show so they decided to pull out the big guns. Love the little skit at the beginning (making sure people don’t forget that they’re YG), it was cute and refreshing. I really appreciated how they leaned into the campy acting in this stage (Stray kids did it too-just adding to the similarities between their stages). The song was meh but I also don’t really like BP especially not their recent stuff so it’s not a big deal. I would have preferred if they had gone with another song maybe Whistle or As If It’s Your Last or if they’d done a 2NE1 song like Chanwoo mentioned some point in the episode. I also think the stage would have been way smoother if they’d let Ikon and Lisa interact. Like if the boys appeared in her set after her section and then they all moved back to the first jungle set and then the whole thing turns gold and they did a dramatic outfit change (but with better jackets because theirs look like they came out of Party City). I also get what you mean about the dancers outfits not being that great. I actually really liked the outfits of Lisa’s dancers in isolation but they didn’t match with her or the set so they threw me off a bit. At least with the ikon members they were going for a modern look so the dancers outfits didn’t look that strange in comparison. Do you think it would have been better if they were white? How would you have improved then? The best way I can describe this performance was that it was a stage, stuff happened, I enjoyed myself but I don’t plan to revisit it anytime soon. Oh and we also have to give points for them cursing on national television not once but twice (at this point Jinwan deserves to say fuck).

Now to Stray Kids. So I feel like I need to preface this with the fact that I am actually a stray kids fan (I won’t call myself a stay because I don’t associate with the fandom) and though I’ve been really critical of them and their stages tend to be my least favorite I still have a soft spot for them (I got into this show because of them after all). I loved, loved, loved the intro with Felix (and yes his biggest flaw is that he’s Australian but I forgive him for it) and the way it immediately transitions into the chorus of DDD-the abrupt transition does fit really well with the Deadpool theme and I guess it is the closest they’re going to get to the feeling of yeeting themselves into traffic like in the movie. Interesting choice to start with the chorus. Now that I’m rewatching it I do really wish they stuck with the comic theme. I think that’s my gripe with SKZ-they have a lot of good ideas but they move on too quickly from them. Just pick a handful of things and sprinkle them throughout instead of cycling through them at breakneck speed. Like okay they’re doing Deadpool and he’s a comic character so keep the comic styling (it would have been a good thing to put in the projection behind Seungmin’s scene), maybe in the subway they could have had some fight choreo so the guns coming in at Lee Knows part aren’t out of nowhere (also someone please tell me they were trying to recreate the meme with the cat and the knives, please I need to know). I absolutely agree that them having a goal or an antagonist would have really helped the story along. I mean they literally have a spoken intro so why couldn’t Felix just tell us who they were fighting (and I’m pretty sure in the movie Wade tells us he’s trying to kill Francis in that scene sooo). As always they put more focus on the rappers (please can we get less Changbin and more Seungmin, Jeongin, or Lee Know or at least give Felix more parts). Seungmin was the real mvp of this stage and he had the best outfit (I think it qualifies for Hanya’s best gay little outfit list). Personally I with they hadn’t gone with Gods Menu again. I’ve been hoping that they would perform My Pace (and maybe remix it with their B-side TA off their Go Live album) because that would be such a fun stage. Again, I enjoyed myself but I won’t revisit it anytime soon. At this point the only groups I actually look forward to are BTOB and SF9 (they’re doing fucking Move and I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified-there’s a clip of Taeyang covering Move from a variety show or interview and I think he does it really well so I know at least one of them can pull it off). Again thanks for creating space where I can info dump and I hope I said something of interest to you!

i think you wrote more than me!! i love this, im gonna put my response under a cut im not being super obnoxious on the dash.

i get that the mayfly stage would be not as visually stimulating for people and usually i would count myself in with that crowd because i love a good spectacle but i think because i watched the spark stage first and my colour perception is sometimes weird so when there's a lot of movement with very little colour variation my tiny pea brain loses track of whats happening really quickly. especially with red. so it was kind of difficult for me to pay attention to the spark stage in the second half. also i absolutely HATE watching people flub on stage because it brings up such visceral secondhand feelings that i couldn't even watch the stage when i started the full episode today.

i love a good suit but you know what i would also love: sf9 in more costume variations. tbh im just getting nitpicky about it because im a costume designer down to the core and i got trained by a designer who specialized in doing avant garde costuming so i tend to skew more towards wild than reserved. it looks like the move stage wont be be suits so ill take it, but oh man to do i want to see some really crazy stuff. which i know they'll never do because idols have to be pretty at all times or the fans get mad but oh i want it so badly.

do you mean how i would improve ikon's backup dancers outfits or lisa's? here why dont i do both. for lisa's dancers i would have just done away with that harness shape all together, its almost exclusively a military style. the jackets by themselves would have been fine but really what they should have done was put them in something that matched the gold but contrasted enough to give them shape. by having at least her dancers in all black on a gold stage there was a lot of "haha look at me do a duck walk because lets throw in some voguing for spice." they could have gone with a mesh bodysuit idea similar to what she was wearing or even just different colour coats. as for ikon's backup dancers, firstly pants. not black. or even a longer skirt. genuinely a part of the reason why i dont watch girl group content is because i HATE the hem length of the shorts they make everyone wear. words cannot describe how much i hate that cut. kpop is so obsessed with showing off women's bodies and especially their legs but they do it in the LEAST flattering way possible because it "can't be too risqué," just shoot me now. i hate it. i hate it so fucking much. yea yea everybody was on cocaine in the 80s whatever but at least they were all wearing french cut bodysuits so their legs looked fantastic. stop interrupting the lines!! anyways. pants so the only section of skin showing is thigh to mid calf, especially because they weren't even doing any fun legwork! if they really wanted to keep the full sleeve bodysuits they shout have done them in a fabric with a texture or external embellishments, like a patent/vinyl or sequins/rhinestones. something to catch the stage lights so we can actually see the shape of the limb. but the easiest way to fix it is literally just cut the arms off the bodysuits. stages are lit to show off skin, sometimes the best way to have something be seen is just to have it bare.

i agreed skz cycles through ideas way too fast, they need to just pick a couple and stick them out through the stage instead of just adding more and more different ones throughout. also ok good someone else noticed that there is just...so much changbin. we don't need that much changbin. i know there's other boys in the group let them do something! also im pretty sure theyre not recreating the cat knife meme but actually the promo image from john wick chapter two, which i also could have sworn i saw a deadpool version of as an instagram ad back when movies were happening, but now that im looking for it it doesn't exist so i might be crazy.

im excited for the move stage but im also trepidatious because...its move. i have NO clue what the concept is from the previews so i just hope its weird enough to take it enough out of the taemin context for me to enjoy it.

[nothingeverlost]

Donut (Penny for Your Thoughts verse, Rumbelle)

@halfwayinlight I thought I would have this up for Christmas.  Sorry it’s a tad late.

It’s a quarantine Christmas vacation

II

“I’ll see you after the new year.”  David gave her a hug before he left the office, catching the elevator with Graham and Emma.  They were all headed for his house, where Emma would pick up her son.

“Give Mary Margaret and Neal my love, and tell her that when she gets tired of you there’s always an empty room above our garage,” she teased.  Though it was a joke she would miss him.  They’d been sharing Archie’s apartment for months now, and though they both longed for their families it had been an interesting bonding experience, bringing them even closer.

Belle only lingered a few minutes extra in the office, leaving a few surprises in Ariel’s desk for her to find.  While the rest of the team was taking the month of December off, to spend time with their quarantined families, Ariel had volunteered to liaise with the team temporarily taking their place.  Belle was pretty certain the decision had been at least influenced by the agent in charge of the team, Eric del Mar.  The first time they’d met in the cafeteria Ariel had been so flustered she’d accidentally stolen a fork.  She still kept it in her desk, jokingly calling it her lucky dinglehopper.

With one last look around to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything - a month was a long time to be away from work - Belle headed for the elevator and punched the button to take her up to the lobby.  Her bags were in the back of the car; it was the first time since September she’d been home.  Not being there for Thanksgiving had been hard, but knowing she would get the whole month for Christmas had made up for it.

Archie’s car was in the carport, leaving her spot in the garage free.  Belle hoped he’d only moved out of her space recently; it was silly not to use it when she was gone, not that Archie would be driving much.  The sound of the garage door meant she couldn’t hope to surprise anyone, but it didn’t matter when the door opened and Claire raced out to greet her.

“Mommy.”  She was barely out of the car when her daughter jumped the last few feet, certain that she would be caught.  Belle scooped her up, hugging her tight.  She needed a million hours of cuddles to make up for missed time.  “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, baby.”  

“You can’t go in the kitchen ‘cause it’s a surprise, but papa said that if you’re hungry I should show you the cuter board in the living room.  Uncle Archie let me help with the crackers and the grapes but not with the cheese ‘cause the knife is sharp.”  When she put Claire down her daughter still stayed close.

“I think papa probably said it was a charcuterie board, but I like yours better.”  She had to guess that it was Archie’s influence more than Gabe’s, unless he had somehow discovered pinterest and been way more bored then he let on.  “Where is your papa sweetheart?”

“He had to take Donut outside so she could go potty.”

“I don’t think I understand.”  She tried to puzzle out what Claire might mean about taking a donut outside.  None of her toys, to Belle’s knowledge, were named donut.

“You will.”  Bay chuckled as he came out of the kitchen, a towel tucked into his pants.  He probably hadn’t grown at all in the past couple of months, she just wasn’t used to thinking of him as being that tall.  When he hugged her her head fit neatly under his chin.  “Welcome home.”

“I’m so glad to see you sweetheart.  Thank you for all the videos, they brighten my day.”  Bay had introduced the whole family to Tiktok, setting everyone up with private accounts.  The rest of the team now had accounts, and shared videos, but Bay and Henry were responsible for most of the sharing.  She was grateful for the multiple one minute videos she saw each day, and often rewatched, though Claire’s fascination with the fireplace had given her more than one moment of concern.

“Of course the damn dog would decide it needed to go out the moment you arrive home.”  The back door slammed, letting in a cold breeze, her husband, and a dog.  It was an odd looking thing that could only be classified as a mutt, with a reddish brown head that looked vaguely like a retriever and a body in gray and white that looked like it should belong to another dog entirely.

“Donut?” she guessed.  Her attention only lingered on the dog for a moment.  She was much more interested in the man crossing the room towards her.  Almost three month since she’d been able to touch Gabe was almost criminal in her opinion.  Someone should be arrested

“I can think of some names that would be more appropriate for the mutt but your daughter insisted.”  She couldn’t answer, not with Gabe’s lips on hers and his hands at her waist.  God she’d missed the taste of him.  And the feel.  And the smell.

“They’re kissing already,” she could hear Claire whisper loudly.  “Do they have to take a really big breath like when you some swimming under water?”

“Something like that,” she could hear Bay reply with a chuckle.

“Hugs are better,” her daughter declared.  Belle had to laugh at that, when the kiss ended.  

“I like hugs too, sweetheart.”  Gabe was wearing one of the sweaters they had picked up on their trip to Ireland last year, and the wool was soft against her skin.  She wouldn’t mind standing just where she was for a while.

“Especially when less clothing is involved,” Gabe whispered in her ear.  Bell elbowed him lightly in the ribs.  That wasn’t fair; it would be hours before they could have that kind of alone time.  

“So is anyone going to tell me about this new addition to the family?”  No one had mentioned a dog on any of their calls, which were at least once a day.

“She was sleeping in Claire’s playhouse a few weeks ago.  We made calls but no one seemed to be looking for her.  The vet gave her a clean bill of health and a little snip snip so it looks like we are pet owners now.”  Gabe groused, but couldn’t hide a smile when he looked down at his daughter gently petting the dog and whispering confidences in her ear.  “She certainly is more comfortable sleeping on Claire’s bed.”

“I thought we should call her Goldilocks since she was in someone else’s house.  Archie voted on Snow White for the same reason.  But the short one had the final say so she’s Donut.”  Bay shrugged.  “I’m going to go check on things.”

“Things?” Belle asked as he headed for the kitchen, where she wasn’t allowed to go according to Claire.  She assumed that he was helping with dinner; Archie had mentioned something about cooking lessons with Bay which was good, since Archie knew more about cooking than Gabe by quite a bit.

“Dinner, obviously, but I promised not to spoil the surprise by sharing the menu.”  He tugged her towards the sofas, where the ‘cuter’ board was laid out on the coffee table along with an open bottle of Bordeaux.  Belle sat on the sofa next to him but turned so her legs were across his lap.

“So you decided that a six year old, a college sophomore, and a full time roommate with his six computers wasn’t interesting enough, you added a dog to the mix?”  She and Gabe were both relieved that Bay’s college was still doing online classes, and Archie being around made sense both for Archie not being alone and for help around the house, but it was a full house especially when both kids were home schooling, Archie was working from home and Gabe was working on a new book.  

“It was snowing.”  Gabe was full of bluster, but Belle knew that he’d been thinking about getting a dog anyway.  In fact she was a little surprised it had taken so long, except that they had talked about waiting until Claire was old enough to have some of the responsibility.  Gabe loved on every dog they saw at a crime scene.  “She’s gentle with Claire.”

“You’re a marshmallow, Gabe Gold.”  She kissed him on the cheek.  “I am confused by the name, though.”

“It’s your fault, actually.  You know how she loves stories about when you were pregnant, and how much you loved eclairs.”

“I always love eclairs, I just loved them a little more then.”  And Gabe, bless him, had indulged her with early morning drives to the bakery, late night drives to the grocery store, and at least a few times special flavors overnighted from out of state bakeries.

“Most people would call it an obsession, sweetheart.”  There were no eclairs on the charcuterie board, of course, but he did hand her a cracker topped with brie and raspberry habanero jelly.  “You know how she likes to say that she is mommy’s favorite eclair.”

“She is my favorite.”  It had been a joke at first, calling her baby a little eclair.  She and Gabe had spent months debating baby names; sadly between the two of them there were many names that reminded them of cases they had worked and people they did not want sharing a name with their baby.  It was a nurse who had misheard eclair and thought she was saying Claire, and the name had worked.  She and Gabe both loved it.

“Claire reasoned that her favorite treat from the bakery is jelly donuts.  Like mother, like daughter.”

“You can’t fault her logic.”  Belle laughed, even more amused now that she understood the name.  “I’ve heard worse names for a dog.”

“Bay says dinner in five.”  Claire appeared a moment later, dog at her side.  Belle scooped her up, holding her on her lap.  It didn’t get much better than holding her little girl while cuddling with her husband.  

“Good, because I’m very hungry.”

“I’m very hungry too, and Uncle Archie made…”  Belle quickly put a finger to her daughter’s lips.

“Let’s let Bay and Archie have their secret for a little longer.  They wanted dinner to be a surprise, remember?”  

“I forgotted.  I won’t say anything, okay?  Papa says secrets are good sometimes like when Bay says something is a secret or when there’s presents under the tree.  But sometimes secrets make you feel bad in your tummy and then you have to tell mommy or papa.”  Claire nodded her head wisely, explaining back what had been explained to her.

“Papa’s right, sweetheart.  You should always tell mommy of papa if someone wants you to keep a bad secret.”  She hated thinking about anyone like that near her daughter, but she and Gabe knew too much about the kind of people that manipulated children.  They’d talked a lot about how to keep their kids safe.  “But this is a very good secret. Bay and Archie are making yummy food.  And we know it must be yummy because they’re not letting your papa in the kitchen at all.”

“Hey, I can cook,” Gabe protested, though not with much vigor.

“You cook more than you did when I first met you, though that’s not saying a lot considering I think you spent at least five years using nothing more than the microwave and coffee pot.”  While no one would call him a gourmet he could pull together a meal.  Spaghetti was still his most often made dinner.  Grilled cheese and tomato soup were a close second.

“That might be true but you could still spend tonight on the sofa if you don’t watch yourself.”

“That anxious to spend the night alone again?”  She raised an eyebrow, teasing him back.

“Never again, if I had my way.”  They kissed again, over their daughter’s head, only stopping when Archie coughed politely.

“Dinner’s ready.”  Claire wiggled down first. Belle was slower, but when she stood she gave Archie a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  

“We have so much to catch up on, Arch.  We’re going to eat so much popcorn.”  

“My tivo is full of things to marathon.”  Their online marathon dates hadn’t been the same, and David had no appreciation for corny sci fi.  “It’s been killing me not to watch Star Trek Lower Decks until you got here.”  

“I can’t wait.”  She followed Archie to the dining room, Claire holding her hand and Gabe right behind her.  Bay was waiting next to the table which had been laid out in all the best china.  In the center of the table was a platter of turkey meat.  There was cranberry sauce and corn souffle and mashed potatoes, gravy and rolls, candied yams and green beans.  It was a full Thanksgiving feast.  “Oh!”

“We didn’t want you to miss Thanksgiving.  Facetime Thanksgiving isn’t really the same.”  Bay’s apron was covered in a million questionable stains, but Belle didn’t give a thought to her clothes before hugging him.

“I didn’t tell, Bay.  Not even a little bit,” Claire proudly exclaimed.  Bay picked her up.  

“Of course you didn’t, Plum.”  Bay set her on her chair.  Next to her on the ground was a dog bed and a large bone.  “Before eating remember that this is only possible because Archie taught me so if anything’s wrong it’s his fault.”

“It’s going to be perfect.”  Belle say down between Gabe and Claire, holding both of their hands.  “I am so thankful for all of you.  My family.”

[blainethelonghorn]

are you that somebody?

- WHO: Sebastian Smythe and Blaine Anderson

- WHEN: Evening of June 5th into morning of June 6th, 2020

- WHERE: Sebastian’s apartment in Dallas

- WHAT: Sebastian invites Blaine over, singing and fooling around ensues. Some nsfw elements but actual smut is omitted. 

Sebastian:

sebastian had settled into his apartment that wednesday. by thursday he was laying in his bed, alone in his apartment and staring up at the ceiling of the high end apartment. his eyes focused in on the roof. his thoughts swarmed around in his mind for the next couple of days. he personally hated that he was here alone... but really what was he to do? this was normal. sebastian continued this trend until friday. only this time, he picked up his phone and started to message people again. blaine's name popped up and sebastian's mind remembered that blaine was in town for the competition. he sent of a text 

[text] hey, are you in dallas yet?

Blaine:

Arriving in Dallas, Blaine was basically humming with excitement about the weekend. They were performing at Nationals and he thought they might have a good chance at placing high if not winning the thing entirely. By the time he got everything unpacked enough in the hotel room, it still definitely wasn’t late enough for Blaine for bed and with other people off doing their own thing, he found himself curled up in one of those uncomfortable hotel room chairs watching Netflix on his phone. He was torn out of a rewatch of Parks and Rec by a text from Sebastian. 

[text] yeah! just finished unpacking actually

Sebastian:

[text] are you doing anything fun? 

Sebastian wiggled as he got the text. For the past month, Sebastian had messaged Blaine non-stop. There was just something so about him that made Sebastian go crazy. Blaine was ridiculously fine. The bonus was Blaine was also smart and fun to talk to. Sebastian found himself thinking about Blaines text and what he could’ve said better or no said at all. He didn’t do this for anybody. His lips pressed together has he waited for Blaine to message him back.

Blaine:

[text] Ha, no. Just watching tv on my phone. Everyone's doing their own thing really 

[text] what are you up to? 

Blaine still couldn’t figure out what was going on with Sebastian. There was the flirting, yes, that Blaine had mostly chalked up to that just being how Sebastian was as a person. He liked talking to him, though. A lot. He asked Blaine silly questions about Disney and talked about what they were like as kids. He didn’t feel like he was trying to artificially construct a conversation. He even thought, maybe, that Sebastian was interested in him when he’d come over to study and the taller man had looked at him the way he did. Then suddenly Blaine was being all the ushered out the door. It must have been all in Blaine’s head.

Sebastian:

[text] You wanna hang out? 

Sebastians mind rattled in his head. His heart pounded as he sent of the message and he waited for a reply. He wanted to see Blaine. No... he needed to see Blaine. He sat up and stared at his phone waiting to see the response.

Blaine:

Blaine knew that Sebastian was in Dallas and that he'd come see them, but he hadn't really thought about the fact that he could just leave the hotel and hang. It sounded nice. And, honestly, it was more than a little exciting that Sebastian had suggested it. Logically, he knew they were friends, but, there was always doubt. 

[text] sure! where should we meet?

Sebastian:

[text] my place your place it does matter 

Sebastian ginger flew over the keyboards. Once Blaine said yes, Sebastian rolled out of bed. It was the first time in a day he’d done this. We went to freshen up his look. He watched his phone carefully for Blaines text.

Blaine:

[text] I mean, my place is a hotel, so… 

[text] unless you really want to hang out in a lobby 

Blaine smiled slightly to himself. It would be nice to get out. Here, it was all he could do not to think about the competition and the dance steps and whether or not he’d mess up the singing.

Sebastian:

[text] my place then? 

Sebastian combed through his hair, adjusted the ring in his nose so that it was centered and put on some deodorant. His heart jumped as he thought about Blaine being in his room.

Blaine:

[text] sounds good! just send me an address 

Blaine got up and went to slide on a pair of shows. It would be interesting to see how Sebastian lived when it wasn’t a dorm room. Suddenly a thought hit him. Sebastian had been pretty eager to hear the first song he’d written and he’d brought the guitar from Austin, mostly as a security blanket. Playing always made him less anxious. 

[text] mind if I bring my guitar?

Sebastian:

[text] please do-- but only if i get to hear that song ~ 

[text] my address is 4509 Knoll Tr dr. apt 457 

sebastian went through the apartment to start to get ready for blaine arrive. he realized he hadn't eaten for that evening and surfed through postmates for something he could get delivered. 

[text] im pretty hungry, would you like something to eat?

Blaine:

[text] that’s the idea :P 

He plugged the address into his phone and gathered his things including his guitar case and headed out of the hotel room. Blaine hadn’t even really thought of the fact that he hadn’t eaten since arriving to Dallas. Eating was rarely on his mind, really. 

[text] Sure! I haven’t had dinner yet either.

Sebastian:

rather than attempting to have this conversation through text, sebastian hit the call button and put the phone to his ear. he walked on over to his cabients and opened them up to look through what groceries he has just in case he got really hungry.

Blaine:

Blaine felt the phone in his hand start to vibrate and turned it to see who it was. Sebastian. He smiled, accepted the call, and raised the phone to his ear. "Hey," he greeted.

Sebastian:

"hello." he greeted with a cool tone before putting blaine on speak phone. "i thought this would be easier to discuss food. what are you feeling today killer?"

Blaine:

"No problem," Blaine said with a nod. That was better for him too, especially since he was holding a guitar in one hand. "Hm, I'm really up for anything. Anything you really know is good around here?"

Sebastian:

sebastian hummed and tilted his head. "there is this thai place i really like. let me see if they're on postmates--" sebastian moved to postmates and found their page. "what do you think?" he asked as he scrolled through their menu. "it looks like they're on postmates."

Blaine:

"I always love a good pad thai," he laughed, heading out of the hotel lobby and onto the street. "I say do it," he replied.

Sebastian:

sebastian sent him the link to the menu through his phone. "alright, let me know what you want and i'll order it. hopefully with the snail traffic out there, it'll get here right when you arrive."

Blaine:

Blaine moved him on to speaker phone, pulling up the menu. "Sounds good...Hm..." he paused glancing stuff over. "Should I text what I want? Is that easier?"

Sebastian:

sebastian turned around and looked around his apartment. "i have a pen actually, you can tell me." he told him as he grabbed the pen and paper. "shoot"

Blaine:

"Cool, I'll get the panang curry and a side of rice," he said, turning him back off speaker phone. "And if you want to split a gyoza or something, I'd be in."

Sebastian:

sebastian repeated the order to him. "sounds good with me. i also love calamari, would you like an order of that too?" he asked as he wrote down the gyoza.

Blaine:

"Yup," he confirmed as Sebastian read back the order. Thenn he brought up calamari. "Oh, for sure," Blaine said, excitement clear in his voice.

Sebastian:

sebastian smiled at blaine's excitement. "alright, i'm putting in the order now. i can't wait to see ya." the words slipped out of his mouth. he closed his eyes and pressed his lips togethers. "can't wait to see you."

Blaine:

Blaine couldn't help but smile at the casual way he said that. It was kind of adorable. "Great. Can't wait to see ya, too," he replied with a chuckle.

Sebastian:

"um... bye..." he laughed. "i'll see you in a minute."

Blaine:

"See you soon," he said, ending the call and tucking his phone into his pocket. It wasn't terribly long until he arrived at the address Sebastian had given him. He quickly glanced at his phone again to see which apartment he was in before hitting the appropriate buzzer to let him know he'd arrived.

Sebastian:

sebastian turned on the tv for some background noise as he moved about the apartment. from the entrance to sebastian's apartment, it was obvious that it was a high end apartment. the building's updated smooth walls gave the impression that sebastian was living in the high end area. he opened the door to the apartment to see blaine. he stood in front of the other with a regular pair of jeans along with with a fresh shirt on. "come on in." he invited as he stepped aside. he closed the door behind blaine and locked in. to the left of the entrance showed an elegant entertainment room. clean white couch with a modern coffee table there. in front of it was a wide flat screen tv that was playing the news. underneath the tv was a grand fireplace that was closed for the time being. on the right was a dining table that matched the furniture on the right. the cieling stretched a whole two floors, and showed off the banister to sebastian's room that over looked both the dining room and the entertainment center. the whole room was a decent size. walking in further, there were the stairs that lead to the bedroom above and the open kitchen with an island. with updated cabinets an appliances, it was obvious that sebastian's parents made sure to put him up in the place with the highest class. sebastian moved in. "make yourself at home. would you like something to drink?" he asked as he walked on over to the fridge. on top of the fridge, there were bottles of liquor aligned. "i have water, juice, beer, some mixers if you want a little drink. i recently discovered something pretty sweet. or--" he paused as he pulled a wine bottle from aside the fridge. "my mom got me this if you'd like to try it." he showed off the rich white wine to blaine.

Blaine:

"Hey, thanks," he replied, giving him a smile. When Blaine walked in, he was shocked by how beautiful the apartment was. He'd been able to tell from the facade of the building that it was a nice place, but he hadn't expected this. Of course, Blaine wasn't a stranger to luxury with the amount that his parents have, but this was beyond just a really nice apartment. "This place is amazing,..." he said looking around. He followed Sebastian into the kitchen area, setting down his guitar for a moment. "Oh. Sure, if you want to try it," he replied. He was always the over polite guest in situations like these.

Sebastian:

sebastian went to the automatic wine opener and placed the wine bottle down in it. he turned it on and went to get the two glasses. "how was the drive over? was it hard to find?" he asked as he set the glasses down. he also pulled out some chips and cookies for them. "and no need to be so stiff there killer. it's just me."

Blaine:

Blaine shook his head, chuckling slightly in embarrassment at the reminder to loosen up. He didn't know why he felt so rigid. "Sorry," he mumbled, leaning against the counter. "The drive was fine. The Uber guy seemed to recognize the area," he explained. "My car is still back in LA," he explained.

Sebastian:

“That’s good.” Just as he said this, there was a knock at the door. Sebastian is walked over and grabbed the door. He picked up the food and handed over some cash for tip and brought it in. He went to the cabinet to pull out some plates. “Where do you want eat? Bar, dining room, in front of fox. Makes for good material to laugh at.”

Blaine:

Blaine waited as Sebastian got the food, picking up one of the cookies to eat. He came back and Blaine gave a shrug. "Maybe the couch," he chuckled. "Though lately the news just kind of makes me mad."

Sebastian:

“With that recent cop killing, I would understand.” He said as he handed Blaine the plates to bring to the couch. “We can turn on something else.”

Blaine:

"And all the protests and riots. I've been donating to as many causes as I can to support them," he replied, taking the plates and walking them over. "Sure," he said, giving an appreciative smile. "What's your go to background noise show?"

Sebastian:

“Ummmm....” Sebastian paused and looked at the TV. He grabbed a hold of the remote and shifted over to Disney plus. “Anything but the little mermaid.” He said has he handed out the remote.

Blaine:

Blaine took the remote with a chuckle. “I can do that,” he replied, starting to scroll through stuff. “How about Alice, then? Since you like it?”

Sebastian:

"don't pick it for me-- we can do mulan." he offered as he picked out his order of curry and rice. he moved it onto the plate and grabbed a hold of the extra pepper to put on it. he moved so that he was close to blaine on the floor. "have you tried red curry before?" he asked as he pulled out part of his chicken. and dabbed it into his rice.

Blaine:

"I'm not just picking it for you. I like that movie, too," he replied. It was like Blaine to offer what someone else wanted, but he also did really just want to watch something he knew Bas liked. He took his own food and portioned himself out some on the plate. "I don't think so? At least not recently," he replied.

Sebastian:

sebastian made blaine a spoon packed with the how curry along with some chicken and rice. he held his hand under the spoon and held it up for blaine to try. "it's really good, at least i like it. not too sweet." he mentioned as he let blaine try it. he looked up and the wine and then got up to go get it. he poured them half glasses and set it out. he sat back down on the floor. "sure, i like that." he hummed as he had another spoonful.

Blaine:

Blaine flattened a hand to hold by Sebastian's - just in case - and leaned in to take the bite. He hummed appreciatively as he chewed. "That is really good," he agreed once he'd swallowed. "Thanks." When Sebastian got up, he looked for the movie and clicked play once he'd returned. "I have a really old copy of the Alice books from my Dad's side of the family," he mentioned.

Sebastian:

There was a smile at blaines reaction before he went back to his food. He perked up. “I would have a nerd jizzing contest with you and Blaine about that.” Sebastian told him. “I love the original books.” He looked over. He really didn’t want the movie to get in the way of what they were doing.

Blaine:

Blaine picked up the wine glass and took a sip. He laughed at Sebastian's reaction to his comment. "My mom used to read it to me when I was falling asleep. And then I saw the movie and was very confused because there is so much that's different. Where was the Duchess? And the movie is basically the two books twisted," Blaine laughed. "I was kind of an obnoxious kid, I'm sure."

Sebastian:

Sebastian snorted. “I would love a kid like you.” Sebastian said as he looked over at Blaine. “I bet you were so cute with those big around eyes looking up at her.” He blinked as he glanced over Blaines hair. “Do you always get it down like that?” He asked.

Blaine:

Blaine smiled, blushing slighty at his words. "I was a pretty cute kid, I have to admit." Blaine nodded, continuing to eat his food. "Yeah, pretty much every day. It's just easier this way," he said with a shrug. The routine had been his since he was a kid and it was a reliable way of it looking nice.

Sebastian:

Sebastian smiled brightly at blaines comment about his childhood. Sebastian thought about his own childhood— running around and attempting to hide from his mother. He took a sip of his wine as that imagine evolved. He quickly stopped it whenever it turned into his teenage years. “I’m obsessed with hearing these. I what else did you read growing up?” He asked. “Oh really everyday?? I think that’s noble. Even when you’re not doing anything?”

Blaine:

"She also read me all the Narnia books and the Oz books. I think The Patchwork Girl of Oz was my favorite," he replied, still slightly bashful in the way he spoke. No one had ever asked to hear more about what his childhood was like. "What about you? What were your go-to childhood books?" He gave another nod at the next hair question. "If I have any intention of leaving my room, then yes. If I'm just going to be alone, maybe not."

Sebastian:

Sebastian listened with intent. His brain commit to memory everything about Blaine. After Blaine had asked his question, Sebastian thought for a moment about his childhood books. “Don’t laugh. I hate to casually admit that I loved the Nancy Drew books and Goosebumps. I also love the little prince or...” the translation flipped in his head. “The adventures of tintin. It was another detective series.” Sebastian explained to him knowing full well that it was a book released in France. Sebastian turned his torso to Blaine and his hair grazed over the males smooth hair. Sebastian wanted nothing more than to touch it. He had been thinking about Blaine a lot for the past few weeks. All he wanted to do was get Blaine next to him in bed so their conversations weren’t so distant from each other. He leaned onto his elbow and mindlessly stuck some curry in his mouth.

Blaine:

Blaine smiled as Sebastian listed off the books he'd loved as a kid. It was really adorable. "I think I've heard of Tintin. He has a dog right?" he asked, trying to make a mental picture in his head. "I also loved the Goosebumps books, little you had good taste," he laughed, taking another sip from his glass.

Sebastian:

sebastian smiled and shook his head. "no, but he has a dog named snowy." sebastian pulled out his phone and showed him the pictures of the poodle and talked through some of his favorite adventures. "excuse my ranting, i loved the stories. my mom would also read them. sometimes my nanny, but she was never successful at getting me to go to sleep. as for goosebumps, that would always put me to sleep." he laughed.

Blaine:

Blaine leaned forward to look at Sebastian's phone screen, occaisionally looking at Sebastian's face while he talked. If you asked him if he ever thought he'd see Sebastian Smythe prattle on about a French children's story, he definitely say no, but it also somehow made sense. "No, don't apologize at all," Blaine replied, echoing his laughter. "You fell asleep to Goosebumps? Those always kept me up worrying about whatever boogeyman was in my closet."

Sebastian:

sebastian tongue pressed to the inside of his bottom lip, creating a bubble on his chin and showing off the jewelry in his mouth. he was starting to get full, so he simply started to pack up his food and set it aside. "i never thought there was a booyman." sebastian thought aloud. an idea popped into his head when blaine said this. his breathe slowed as he leaned back against the couch. his breathe slowed down a bit and he forced his eyes to soften. "it makes me think about a story my mom used to tell me..." his voice softened. he scrunched up his nose as if the information he was relying was becoming painful. "my mom told me--" he changed to a french accent. "sébastien, as a little boy, you should always know you family." he changed back to a regular english accent. "one summer, my mom's estranged aunt came to visit. with her came a little girl named maria that was my mom's age. together, they hit it off right away. they would spend their time in the swimming pool together, painting and dancing out in the fields. but maria was funny in the sense that she would walk up in the middle of the night. every so often she would get up and leave my mom's bed." his voice lowered to a hush sound. his green eyes connected with blaines and sebastian breathed in, to make sure that blaine had eye contact with him. his arm slid down to the floor and closer to blaine. "one night, her cousin left the room and didn't return. confused in the morning, my mother sat up and went to her aunt and asked where maria went. her aunt looked at my mom  with bewilderment and shook her head." he said this in a french accent. "maria? what are you talking about dear? who i maria?" english again. "my mother told her about maria, her cousin that the estrange aunt brought. in that moment, her aunt started to wail and all around the table came looks of despair. immediately, my mom was sent to her room. --- without understanding, my mother stormed off to her room in tears. not understand what she had been punished for. later that afternoon, my grand mother came to the room, telling her that such thing was inappropriate. in tears, my mother demanded an explanation. there-- my grandmother told my mother that maria was her estranged aunt's stillborn baby and why she had been gone for so many years. horrified at this discovery, my mother tossed herself under her blanket and cried herself to sleep. later that night, she woke up hungry. as she sat up, she shivered and pulled on her jacket." sebastian's voice became lower and he leaned into blaine. his voice barely above a whisper. "when she stood up, the old floor boards below her creaked. she took a step-- then another before she felt and heard that familiar voice. 'adrianna?' she stopped dead in her tracks, but the floor boards kept creaking as if there were another walking behind her. they got closer... and closer and then..." as if it were timed, alice from the movie let out a petrified scream while sebastian reached out and grabbed blaine's shoulder from behind. sebastian himself jumped a little bit at the loud sound that came from the tv.

Blaine:

As Sebastian started his story, Blaine set his plate back on the table. At first he was entirely fooled into the story - he certainly was a good actor. He listened with rapt attention, leaning forward on his legs as his eyes stayed glued on Sebastian's. It was about at the moment where the story started to take on the more ghostly elements that Blaine realized that Sebastian must be pulling his leg, but he was so wrapped up in the story that he didn't dwell too hard on his own gullible-ness. He was leaning forward just a bit more, excited to see where this was going when the scream came from the TV. That combined with the hand on his shoulder made Blaine startle, letting out a surprised yelp. It took a few moments before he looked at the movie and realized where they were in the film and his wide eyes crinkled into laughter.

Sebastian:

sebastian waited for blaine to laugh before sebastian copied him. his white teeth shined on as the other laugh. sebastian finished his wine before he started to clean up. "i'm ready for a couple of songs-- if you're up to it." sebastian asked.

Blaine:

"You really got me," he chuckled. "Did you know that scream was going to happen?" As he saw Sebastian start to clean up, Blaine did the same, getting the food packed away and swallowing the rest of his own drink. The request for music came and Blaine gave a nod, getting up to grab the guitar from where he'd left it. "I'm always up for a little music," he replied as he returned. The guitar was fairly simple, but still clearly elegant and not inexpensive. He sat on the couch, starting to tune by ear. "Okay, what do you want me to start with?"

Sebastian:

Excited, Sebastian collected everything and went to put it all away. On his way back, Sebastian brought the wine to refill their glasses. Sebastian sat down across from him and examined the guitar with a bit of admiration on his face. He’d never learned how to play, and he commended anybody who did learn to play it. He watched Blaine from the other end and thought about his next words. “Anything you’d like killer.” He said as he took a sip of his wine.

Sebastian:

Blaine strummed it once to ensure the tuning was good. Satisfied, he started picking out a melody. "I'll give myself a warm up before I show you my song," he said, giving Sebastian a grin. He was a little nervous about playing it for him. With Rachel, the only person other than his professor who had heard it, he knew it was so she could help him improve it. And the song at the gala - that was fun but it didn't hold the kind of personal significance this did. Playing it for Sebastian, it felt...sort of intimate. He started playing James Taylor's "You've Got a Friend", slow and quiet with just the guitar and his voice.

Sebastian:

Sebastian nodded and allowed Blaine he time. He hummed a long, letting his leg swing to the beat. He could tell Blaine was a bit unsure. So Sebastian joined in lightly, and sung with him. After it finished, Sebastian smiled. “You don’t need to sing me your first song.” Sebastian said cooly. “I just want to hear your voice.” He smiled. “Just play what you’re comfortable with.” He encouraged. He took a sip of his wine.

Blaine:

Blaine smiled as Sebastian sung with him. He liked his voice a lot. He didn't hear a lot like it, as softly as he was singing. And he had to admit their voices sounded really nice together. His fingers rested against the strings as he looked over at Sebastian. "I want to play it for you," he said before biting the inside of his lip. "I know it's silly... I've let other people hear it, but those were music people... It feels different playing it for you," he explained. "In a good way. I'm just... I guess..." What? That he cared about Sebastian's opinion on it? That he wanted him to like it?

Sebastian:

Sebastian showed him a soft smile. His green eyes softened as Blaine rambled. He shifted so that he was facing Blaine now. His torso was stretched out long, his butt sitting on the edge of the couch while the bottom of his shoulder nestled softly into the couch. His legs were twisted with his left leg over his right. His full attention was on Blaine. Sebastian watched blaines lips for a moment before he tore away to his eyes. “I can’t wait to hear it.”

Blaine:

Blaine met his eyes and returned the smile, grateful that the other man was just listening and watching. He nodded as he spoke, turning his focus back to the strings below him as he started plucking out the intro. Every once in a while, he'd lift his head up to look at Sebastian, trying to gauge his reaction to both the melody and the lyrics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPaBXxA_k-g

Sebastian:

Sebastian expression for the most part was still rather than reactive to the playful banter. His expression had softened something he would find to be weak and vulnerable. The emotions that music traditionally brought out struck him with both lyrics and the melody. Sebastian heart pounded as he felt it’s effect wash over him. His body numbed to its message that Blaine had to tell him. It shook his bones. Thanks to the uplifting beat, Sebastian felt all his emotions suddenly become valid. He could feel the pressure behind his eyes build up. Before he could stop himself, Sebastian leaned in and pressed his lips to Blaines. His body held itself above his guitar as to not damage the instrument.

Blaine:

As Blaine played, there was a sense of confidence that grew within him, just from the soft way Sebastian was looking at him. There was no judgement that he could find. When the song was coming to an end, Blaine was trying to formulate what he'd say. He didn't often give one on one performances. All of those thoughts were wiped out with Sebastian coming so close to him. Before he could really figure out what was going on, Bas's lips were on his. At first, he was startled, but after a second of recognition, he let himself lean into it, sliding his guitar out from between them to lay beside Blaine on the couch.

Sebastian:

He could feel his happiness bloom as Blaine had returned the action. Once the guitar was out of the way, Sebastian leaned in deepen to the kiss. His heart thumped loudly in his chest, enough to feel it heavily in his throat. He could feel himself wanting more; not the the way he usually got though. He opened his eyes, realizing that they had been shut right out of nervous energy. Sebastian couldn’t even remember the last time he felt these things and to be honest, this was due to repression. Sebastian could feel his body torn between continuing and stopping. In response, Sebastian tilted his head down out of the kiss, leaving only his wine stained lips on Blaines. His forehead rolled against blaines. He let out a laugh. “Sorry...” Twice within a week was more times Sebastians apologized in 4 years. “It was amazing.” He said as his eyes directed downward to blaines chin.

Blaine:

Blaine's hand found it's way up to Sebastian's cheek. He couldn't believe that Sebastian was kissing him. A million thoughts raced through his head about all of their past interactions and how the other had been flirting and that this hadn't been all in Blaine's head. He tried to quiet this racing and just focus on how nice it felt to have Sebastian so close to him. Then, Sebastian slightly pulled away. His laughter drew some out of Blaine, shaking his head ever so slightly as their foreheads still pressed together. "You don't need to apologize," he assured, eyes looking for the others, despite how close they were. You never have to apologize for kissing me, he wanted to add, but stayed quiet. "Thank you. I don't think any one has ever kissed me because they like my music," he teased, moving his thumb against Sebastian's cheek slightly.

Sebastian:

Sebastian hand went to blaines hands. Sebastian felt over the rough callous built up by those talented fingers. He moved his body so that he would finally be in comfortable next to him. Sebastian thought long and hard about what to do next. “Mhmm...” he snorted. He smiled. “Do you like it?” Sebastian asked as his eyes connected with Blaine’s.

Blaine:

Blaine shifted as Sebastian did, letting them settle near each other. He kept his gaze on him, smiling like an idiot, Blaine was sure. "My music? Or you kissing me?" he said, perhaps a little cheekily. He brought his hand from Sebastian's face, but kept it close to him.

Sebastian:

Sebastian wanted to link them up again and kiss, but his mind was starting to come down off the love high and starting to be rational again. Then again, what exactly is rational to him? “I would be very interested in how you wouldn’t like your own music.” He laughed at blaines cheeky attempt as he inches nearer. “I might give you more sugar for the right answer though.”

Blaine:

Blaine chuckled, shaking his head at Sebastian’s first comment. “I think your own music is the easiest kind not to like. Hence why it’s taken me so long to actually show people what I’ve been working on since I was, like, a teenager,” he pointed out, match his body language of desire. “Because it’s a part of me that I’m showing to someone else.” He smoothed the back of his hair, slightly nervous. He didn’t know much much to address this obvious mutual attraction. “I’m glad you kissed me.”

Sebastian:

Sebastian listened intently. He had even pulled his head back. As Blaine spoke, Sebastian let his hand rest into Blaines. His thumb stroked Blaines hand. There was a pause for Sebastian to think and internalize Blaines speech. Sebastian had felt Blaines passion and warmth along with his compassion for others. Something Sebastian hadn’t believed in for a long time. Even watching others perform this act made Sebastian think that it was all fake and for the single purpose of gain. However Sebastian didn’t quite understand what was happening in the moment. He’s rational thought was a lie and Sebastian resorted back to that scared teenage boy he was stuck in. His jaw clinched as the pause dragged on. “Thank you.” He smiled to Blaine as he thought of a way to recover for this slip up. “For doing that. It was really beautiful.” He spoke slow as a way to pause for more time. Pressure exploded from behind his eyeballs and he felt his body go numb, like it usually did when he felt about to cry. He took in a deep breathe as he attempted to get through it. But he couldn’t help his eye water at the edges. He placed his wrist against his eyes. “Oh allergies.” He complained as he blinked. “My contacts are also super old too. I need to take them out. Excuse me for a minute.” He said as he stood up from the couch and went to the bathroom on the first floor.

Blaine:

Blaine curled his fingers around Sebastian's as their hands touched. It meant a lot that he was just listening and taking it in. The pause after he spoke didn't feel that strange to Blaine until he saw a subtle shift in the planes of Sebastian's face. Quickly, it melted into words and a smile and Blaine smiled back at the gratitude, mumbling an 'of course.' Then he started to see the wetness gathering in Sebastian's eyes and heard the way his breath changed. Was he about to cry? "Oh, uh... okay," he said, his body turning to face in the direction that Sebastian had left in. He didn't really believe that it was allergies or contacts since he'd been fine until that second, but he also didn't want to crowd him, figuring he'd give him a moment and only follow if he was gone too long.

Sebastian:

Sebastian went to the bathroom and pulled out his contacts. Later he returned with the gold thin wire framed glasses. He picked up his wine and his small little fit was over. Or at least suppressed for the time being. “Is that the only song you brought?” He asked as he returned to his spot where he was before. This time with his wine.

Blaine:

Blaine was about to get up when he heard Sebastian's footsteps heading back. Seeing that he was now wearing glasses, he decided not to say anything. Maybe it was just his contacts bugging him. Blaine picked the guitar back up, running his hand along the strings. "I mean, I can play a lot things," he chuckled. Had whatever moment they'd had passed? "Is there something you want to hear?"

Sebastian:

sebastian felt a bit bad looking at blaine. he wanted to kiss the man again. in fact,  sebastian wanted to take him upstairs and undo that hair. but his mind was attempting it's damn near hardest to hold him back. he sat down with his wine and took a sip. "anything." he told the other. "i love listening to you."

Blaine:

Blaine smiled a little wider when Sebastian spoke, shaking his head in modesty. "Let's see..." he said, trying to think of something. He hummed as an idea came to him and started to play a sort of jazz swing, but a little more punctuated. "Sinatra," he explained, but it was also clearly influenced by his own style. He licked his lips after the first chorus, starting in a whistle section as he kept up the fingerwork. Guitar was definitely his best instrument. Something about it had always called out to him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rC4ZnKL0a-k

Sebastian:

it didn't take much to pull down sebastian's guard again. as blaine started, sebastian bopped along to the beat. he had to force his body still to not show off too much swaying. when blaine started to whistle, sebastian's jaw clinched. there was no way that would fly again with bas' being the reason. he laughed as blaine finished the song. sebastian put down his wine glass, reached forward for that blasted guitar, gently set it down and pushed himself onto blaine. this time, his lips pushed inward to show off his aggressive side.

Blaine:

He finished, laughing along with Sebastian, though he wasn't really sure why. The other started to pull the guitar from his hands and he let go, more than curious to see where this was going to go. Then, he had Sebastian's lips on his again. Good to know that all it took was a little guitar to get him to close the distance between them. It had been way too long since someone had kissed Blaine like this, forceful and needing. He did his best to match Sebastian, hands finding his body to hold him close. He had had no idea when he left the hotel that this was where today was going, but he certainly wasn't going to complain.

Sebastian:

this time, sebastian's lips twisted in with blaine's. his tongue craved every taste of the man. he moaned softly as his tongue pushed through his lips and into his mouth. sebastian's ring ran over blaine's tongue as sebastian explored the roof of blaine's mouth. he playfully clicked his tongue ring against blaine's teeth. sebastian opened his eyes to watch blaine's face.

Blaine:

Sebastian was deepening the kiss and Blaine let him, parting his lips gently so his tongue could dip inside. He knew Sebastian had the tongue piercing from little glimpses of it here and there. He had always thought it was hot, but it was definitely a million times more of a turn on, he decided, when it was tracing the inside of your mouth. The clicking against his teeth spurred Blaine on, teasing his tongue against Sebastian's with a stuttered breath and a small sound of enjoy mean somewhere between a moan and a laugh.

Sebastian:

sebastian took part in the laugh, catching blaine's tongue between his teeth. he let go of his tongue and continued to laugh. "I wanted to kiss you for so long." he breathed as he kissed blaine's chin. he turned his head to the side of blaine's face. "every since i saw you the first time next to sam, i thought you were the hottest thing i'd see all semester." he whispered to him.

Blaine:

Blaine's hands moved up Sebastian's back as he moved from his mouth to the side of his face. He could feel heat in his stomach as Sebastian said that he wanted to kiss him for a while. "Why didn't you?" he whispered back. "I thought you were just flirting for flirting's sake, not that you actually wanted to..." He demonstrated, kissing where he could reach on his jaw from this position. "For the record, I also thought you were hot. I probably acted like an idiot," he chuckled.

Sebastian:

sebastian connected eyes with blaine. he hummed as he fit himself in-between blaine's legs. his body buzzed with excitement as he hovered over blaine. he had been thinking about nothing but the man since they met that one evening for studying. he didn't understand this-- if blaine were any other man he picked up from the bar, sebastian wouldn't be stopping for conversation, he'd be wiggling off their pants. instead, he listened to the man under him. his soft green eyes looked at blaine in a different light. sebastian moved to blaine's jaw line. "i would never...." sebastian huffed into blaine's ear. "do that to anybody as sexy as you."

Blaine:

Blaine shifted so he could lean back more into the couch and let Sebastian settle against him. He tilted his chin up slightly, almost arching into Sebastian's touches. "I thought you were going to kiss me that night we were studying," Blaine admitted, tracing the tips of his fingers up and down Sebastian's back just to give them something to do. "But I'm glad you are now." He turned his head to reconnect their lips.

Sebastian:

sebastian could hardly say anything to that night. that's when it all started-- this damn crush. maybe he had it before. but the time for talk was coming to a close. as he heard these words, sebastian's pierced tongue wiggled into blaine's mouth. his hand cupped blaine's smooth chin and brought him in. he hoped with this action that blaine would stop talking.

Blaine:

It certainly did shut Blaine up. His hands found more solid purchase as Sebastian deepend the kiss, lifting his head slightly to meet him. His hand moved up the back of Sebastian's neck, resting at his hairline and letting his fingertips slightly dig in. His tongue traced around Sebastian's, enjoying the unfamiliar sensation of the metal in his mouth.

Sebastian:

sebastian moved his hand over the back of blaine's neck and pulled him in. sebastian stuck out his tongue, closed his eyes, and drowned himself in blaine's taste. he let out soft moans as his tongue dug deeper. his hands wiggled between blaine's head and that stiff layer of gel. sebastian pulled away for air. "what do you put in your hair?" he asked.

Blaine:

Blaine was entirely in the moment, trying not to let thoughts wander beyond anything other than how Sebastian's weight felt over him or the sounds cming from those lips. He couldn't help but laugh when Sebastian was clearly trying to reach into his hair. Everyone he'd ever been with had made some comment or another about the gel. "It's just hair gel," he said, though he knew most people didn't use quite the strength or amount he did.

Sebastian:

“Are you sure?” Sebastian asked as he felt through it. “How hot and bothered do I have to get you in order to get that unglued from your head?” He asked as he lifted Blaine up. “You want to go upstairs?” Sebastian asked him.

Blaine:

Blaine smiled back at him. "Pretty sure." That second comment made him blush, mostly because he knew that the gel did, in fact, release when he really got going in bed, but he laughed it off. "Maybe you'll find out," he teased, letting himself sit up. The thought of seeing his bedroom was definitely enticing. "Sure."

Sebastian:

Sebastian took blaines hand and stood up. He lead the way to the stair case in the back. It was dark, typically Sebastian didn’t even turn on the light. He’d just feel his way through the darkness. Once they got upstairs, the two of them stood in front of a grand king sized mattress with two shelves on either side. Sebastian flipped on a light switch, but instead of the bright Lights in the roof, fairy lights came on about the dark mattress. Sebastian turned to Blaine and stepped back. Sebastian let go of his hand and walked over to the grand stereo that sat the right. Right on top of the beautiful vintage stero sat Sebastians baby, the vinyl record player that was Sebastians pride and joy. “Any request?” Sebastian asked him. “Maybe that jazz that I got at Waterloo.” He said as he pulled out the record that he purchased they say they went.

Blaine:

Blaine kept their hands to gether as they walked up to Sebastian's room, careful not to trip going up the stairs. Once the lights were on in the room, Blaine couldn't help but let out a breath at how nice it was. The bed was huge with those twinkly lights...then he looked at Sebastian and the stereo he was indicating. That was one of the nicest set ups he had ever seen, record player included. "I think you could play anything on that thing and it would sound amazing," he said, giving him a nod.

Sebastian:

Sebastian put in the jazz CD he mentioned and was careful with the technology. He made sure that the music was playing before he turned to Blaine. Sebastian moved over to Blaine and took his hand. He leaned over slowly, he moved his hands to cup around blaines legs and up into his ass. Sebastian pulled him up so that Sebastian could deepen the kiss.

Blaine:

Blaine gave his hand a small squeeze as they were pulled closer together. He leaned into Sebastian's touch, meeting every new touch. He hummed at the contact, hands finding Sebastian's cheeks as they moved their lips against each other's.

Sebastian:

Sebastian pulled Blaine up on him by his legs and walked over with him on his hips. All the time not parting from blaines lips. Adrenaline pumping, Sebastian threw him on the bed. As he leaned onto the bed, Sebastian reached behind his neck and pulled his shirt off, showing off the pale long torso with the light outlines of abs. He tossed it aside and pushed himself on top of Blaine and returned his lips to Blaines. His hands drifted down blaines neck and over his chest. He twitched when he felt over the tuff of chest hair.

Blaine:

Blaine lifted his legs around Sebastian's waist, clinging tight to him as they made their way over to the bed. Blaine landed on the bed, scrambling back towards the pillows. He watched as Sebastian pulled off his shirt, smiling appreciatively. He tugged at his own clothes, pulling his shirt off and throwing it over with Sebastian's before they met again in a kiss. Blaine let his hands skim over the skin on Sebastian's back, appreciating the definition of his muscles. He held the other as close as he could, breaking their lips apart to kiss along his jaw.

Sebastian:

Sebastian let out soft moans through the kisses as he dove into Blaines world. For weeks, he had been craving this. Every male Sebastian brought him was to attempt to get the imagine of Blaine out of his mind. Shameful to admit, he’s touched himself to these thoughts and feelings too. He closed his eyes and drowned in the sensation of the man beneath him. The kiss earlier and everything after that was everything he wanted. Instead of focusing on the psychical feelings, all Sebastian could think about was Blaines bright smile and starring personality. With every inhale, Sebastian absorbed that sweet smell that the other had, making him hard in what seemed like world record time. There was nothing strong enough in Sebastians mind to stop him now. His fingers flowed through Blaines chest hair some more before moving downward over Blaines abs. He spent little time there and kept going to blaines pants. With one hand, he undid the belt and jeans. He opened his eyes as Blaine started to kiss his jaw, that tinkly hot feeling flushed from his mouth to the skin where Blaines lips touched.

Blaine:

Blaine honestly couldn't believe this was happening. Since he met Sebastian, he'd put him on this sort of unattainable pedestal. He just assumed that it wasn't even worth the energy to pine after someone who seemed so hot and cool. And, getting to know him, Blaine found that he was funny and interesting and a great listener. He couldn't tell if that made him more or less intimidating. But, there they were in Sebastian's bed, clearly turning each other on with every movement of their tongues and hands. Blaine ran his hand up Sebastian's back to tangle in his hair, the other moving to rest on his waist, his thumb pressed against the outline of his abs. They stayed there as his lips moved to Sebastian's neck, only moving as his pants were undone and he brought his hands down to start to pull them off. Sebastian's hands being so close to where Blaine wanted them most was clearly having an effect on his bloodflow, bringing some relief as he was freed from the denim.

Sebastian:

Sebastian moaned as he felt Blaines soft lips. He moved slowly to Blaine ear and gave it a tender kiss. The next fifteen minutes came hard and fast for Sebastian. Once they had finished, Sebastian came up from to lay down next to the other. He gave himself a few minutes to catch his breathe before he rolled over and stood up. He went to the restroom and came back with a towel for Blaine. “Here you go.” He offered.

Blaine:

Blaine panted as he relaxed into the pillows. The two lay there for a few moments, the only sounds were their calming breaths. He looked over at Sebastian with a dopey, post-orgasm smile as he stood up. His eyes followed him to the bathroom , sitting up a bit as Sebastian returned. "Thanks," he said, taking the towel and wiping the mess from himself. He had never been exactly comfortable in these after-care moments, especially sudden things like this, but he felt fine with Sebastian there. "Are you going to lay back down?" he said once he was done.

Sebastian:

sebastian leaned over the bathroom counter, completely naked and comfortable. he turned on the water and felt over it and waited for it to get warm. "only if you come lay down next to me." he said, poking his tongue into his check. he leaned over and splashed some water on his face. he grabbed a hold of his mouth wash and rinsed out his mouth. "if you need anything use it." he offered. "if you want a toothbrush, i have an extra. just in case for round two." he winked at him.

Blaine:

Blaine watched him go through is cleaning ritual. If it was possible, Blaine was probably even more attracted to him now. He didn't seem to have any care or insecurity like this. The gel had started to come loose, especially around the nape of his neck and his hairline where sweat had collected. "I might at least take you up on the mouth wash."

Sebastian:

sebastian nodded and handed it over to him to take a sip from the bottle like he had done just five minutes ago. sebastian leaned his bare ass against the counter of sink. "are you coming to lay down with me?" he asked in a sweet like manor. "all that energy you've got, i might need to go downstairs and refuel." he laughed.

Blaine:

Blaine took the bottle and did a rinse of his own. Setting it down with a quick thank you, he looked up at Sebastian with a grin and a laugh. “We could definitely grab some more food. Then curl up?” he suggested, stepping a little closer to him.

Sebastian:

the fact that blaine was saying thank you put a smile on sebastian's face. damn this boy's inferno need to be adorable and respectful. sebastian nodded looking back at blaine. he hesitated for a moment. sebastian had the urge to lean over and hiss him. he licked his lips and stared at blaine for a moment. they weren't boyfriends or anything like that, why would sebastian act in such an affectionate way. his mind started to put up blocks as he looked at the ground. he leaned over and grabbed a hold of his boxers and pulled them on. "sure, you want the rest of your dinner, some cream-- excuse me if i don't have any. i've had enough for tonight." he chuckled.

Blaine:

Blaine just looked back at Sebastian, unsure of what the next move would be. He was the kind of person for whom, once a physical barrier was withdrawn, he usually kept it that way. Physically affectionate, he didn't see a reason not to be close to people he cared about, even if this wasn't anything more than sex. Seeing Sebastian start to put layers back on he went to find his underwear from the clothing on the floor. He smirked at the joke. "Sure, maybe," he replied, chuckling with him.

Sebastian:

"i think you're getting comfortable." sebastian commented. "usually you'd be a bright shade of red." he laughed as he reached for blaine's hand to go down the stairs. once he was there, he shuffled through the cabinets to find his snacks. he had himself some thing to eat. he got himself a bottle of water and offered blaine some. he dug around some more and pulled out some fruits. "oh, you want some strawberries?" he asked as he set down the fruit.

Blaine:

Blaine laughed, rubbing his neck. Ironic that being called out for not getting embarrased made him more embarrased than the sex joke. "I think once the blowjob line has been crossed, you have to work a little harder for the blush," he joked, taking his hand. Once in the kitchen, Blaine leaned casually on the counter top, watching Sebastian as he searched and sipping the water. "Strawberries sound perfect right now," he said, giving a nod.

Sebastian:

“Is that a challenge?” He asked. He pulled out the strawberries and washed over them.l with water. He took out the knives and chopped off the tops. He put them on a plate for the two of them. He picked up a big one and stuck the end between his teeth. He leaned forward for Blaine to take the other half.

Blaine:

“I would say yes, but something tells me you’d win pretty quickly,” he giggled, trying to smooth out his hair. He watched Sebastian’s hands as he cut the fruit. He was gorgeous, even just doing little things like this. He smirked as Sebastian leaned for him to Lady and the Tramp-style eat the strawberry. He met Sebastian where he was and sunk his teeth into the rest of the strawberry, careful not to knock their noses together.

Sebastian:

“You know it.” As he cut the fruit he noted Blaines loosened hair. Sebastian laughed when Blaine did his thing. Sebastian leaned on the counter to get a peak at the loosened curls. He reached back to Blaines black hair. His fingers caught a curl.

Blaine:

Blaine smiled, tilting his head towards Sebastian as he touched his hair. “It’s definitely not all loosened, but you got a couple curls free,” he chuckled.

Sebastian:

Sebastian realized he had just flipped his finger through Blaines hair without saying anything. “I didn’t know it was curly.” He mentioned as his fingers laced into the hair that was still stuck to his head. “Makes round two all that more appealing.” Sebastian kept his fingers there and reach for another strawberry.

Blaine:

Blaine chuckled, nodding at his statement. Not a lot of people did. Really only close friends who'd seen him when he woke up in the morning. "Yeah, it's pretty curly. Hense the gel," he explained. He very rarely had any hands but his own in his hair and he couldn't deny how nice it felt to have someone else's touch. He reached for a berry as well. "That curious, huh?"

Sebastian:

Sebastian pulled his hand away. He smirked at the statement. When the berries were finished off, Sebastian took the plate and tossed it in the sink. He reached for Blaines hand again to go upstairs. Sebastian checked the record player again. “Last opportunity to request something before you’re lost in my eyes.”

Blaine:

Blaine liked that Sebastian took his hand to go room to room. There really wasn't any reason for him to do that, so he didn't really know what it meant. That didn't stop it from making him feel flutters in his chest. "Ooo, do you have Let It Be? The album, obviously."

Sebastian:

a smile came to his face as he removed the needle gently. he fixed the records and set the music down low. he stepped backward and then came to the bed. he laid down. he shifted under the quilt that he had for the hot texas summer days.

Blaine:

Blaine smiled as the music started. It was one of his favorite albums. Seeing Sebastian climb back in bed, Blaine followed. He laid down as well, resting on his side and looking acrss at the other. This is nice, he thought to himself.

Sebastian:

without giving it any second thought, sebastian reached his hand back and gave blaine the option of resting on his chest. either way, sebastian was going to get to loosen more and more of blaine's hair, he was absolutely determined. "ready for tomorrow?" sebastian asked him.

Blaine:

Blaine saw the gesture and curled up to him, laying against his chest. "I don't think it's possible to feel ready for something this big. Especially when they've trusted me with the solo," he admitted. "But I think we've got a really great set list. And everyone's working their butts off for it. So I'm optimistic."

Sebastian:

sebastian blinked. "oh yes, adore me right?" sebastian asked. "you're gonna kill it. fyi." he chuckled. "i'm pretty sure it won't be only my panties on the stage."

Blaine:

Blaine nodded at the name of the song, but blushed at the compliment. He was a performer to his core, but it still felt nice to have that kind of approval someone he wanted to like him. "Thanks. I hope so," he replied. "Hope that I kill it. Not hope that there are...panties."

Sebastian:

when blaine blushed, sebastian smiled widely. that was what he was used to. his fingers entangled themselves in the loose threads of blaine's tightly wove hair. his plan to reveal blaine's in glued state was starting to come to life. "why not?" sebastian asked. "are you more of a boxer/briefs kind of guy?"

Blaine:

Blaine could tell that Sebastian was trying to pry the gelled strands apart. Before today, when Sebastian was this untouchable fantasy in his head, the thought would've freaked him out. But now? There was something about the other wanting to see more of him that felt reassuring. "I'm, uh," Blaine said with a laugh, "I think I'm more of an applause kind of guy."

Sebastian:

sebastian held his smile as blaine spoke. "not even roses?" he asked. his fingers slid further up blaine's head.

Blaine:

Blaine chuckled, looking up at him. "Maybe roses. Flowers are always nice," he replied. "Though unnecessary."

Sebastian:

"you're right, you might just get as red as those roses. dunno, if we'll be able to find that cute face in the middle of all of that." sebastian mused with a smirk on the face.

Blaine:

Blaine laughed again definitely proving Sebastian's point. He traced along Sebastian's collarbone with his fingertips. "You really flatter me too much," he said fondly.

Sebastian:

sebastian leaned forward and kissed blaine. his heart buzzed excitedly as he felt those amazing lips again. he kept his eyes opened, as he pressed a bit harder. he released. "you're gonna be great tomorrow." he whispered. "i can't wait to hear you sing."

Blaine:

Blaine returned the kiss, moving his hand to the back of Sebastian's neck. "Thank you. I really hope it lives up to expectation. And I'm really glad you are coming to watch."

Sebastian:

sebastian kept his face close to blaine's. being so close to blaine shook sebastian to his core. he would give absolutely everything to keep blaine there in his bed forever. "anytime." sebastian told him. he rested his head to the side and listened to the sweet tune of the beatles floating in the air. his green eyes softened as he stared at blaine. his fingers continued to move through blaine's hair.

Blaine:

Blaine smiled, keeping his eyes on Sebastian as they sat quietly with each other. He really was gorgeous like this, just relaxed and listening to the music. He could tell he was making some headway with the gel in his hair and found that the touch was comforting. He could only imagine what it would feel like if his hair was free of product and his fingers could glide through unhindered. "I'm really glad you asked me to come over," he said quietly after a few minutes.

Sebastian:

sebastian gazed at him longer. taking in all of the man in his bed right then. sebastian had never done this before. just hang out. usually, he was attempting to find an escape route. and the oddest thing, they didn't even have full on sex. "i'm glad you came." he responded in a rusty voice. "you wanna sleep here?" sebastian asked. "i can take you back in the morning."

Blaine:

Blaine smiled a little wider as Sebastian confirmed that he was enjoying this time as much as Blaine was. His hand reached for one of Sebastian’s, just to hold it. His heart skipped a beat at that question. “I have to be ready pretty early. Are you sure?”

Sebastian:

a smile tugged at the edge of sebastian's lips. "if this were four months ago-- i would be piss drunk right now with a 800 am class. though, it might be kind of hard being drunk off you and waking up." he teased. "but i'll manage as long as you wake me up with a kiss."

Blaine:

While Blaine didn’t like to think of Sebastian partying on a weeknight, the idea that he was something special meant a lot. He leaned up to kiss him at that last statement. He felt like there was no other choice. “I can definitely do that,” he replied, nodding slightly.

Sebastian:

Sebastian smiled and continued to work his way through Blaines hair. “I’m almost through the gel concrete.” He announced. “You gonna be able to sleep on these fluffy curls?”

Blaine:

Blaine laughed shaking his head slightly. “They’re pretty bad right now, huh. Normally I shower to get the gel out.” Blaine reaches up to feel his own hair. Wow.

Sebastian:

Sebastian pleated his hand on blaines. He hummed as he took in the sight of the disheveled Blaine. He had never imagined Blaine untangled and it turned Sebastian on more than ever. This made Sebastian feel that even though Blaine had an air of class around him, there was still this other side of nerdy mess. “It looks good.” He said simply. His eye lids closed about half way. He fought to keep them open.

Blaine:

Blaine shifted so they were in a better position for sleeping. “Thank you,” he replied, running a hand through his hair as best as he could. “I don’t let just anyone see the curls, so you’re very lucky,” he chuckled.

Sebastian:

Sebastian followed Blaines guide and settled into the soft bed. He closed his eyes. “Would you say that these curls are worse than looking at your dick?”

Blaine:

Blaine cocked his head slightly, looking up at him. “are you insulting my dick?”

Sebastian:

"i find entertainment that i've seen you naked but you're worried more about your hair." sebastian rocked as he took away his hand.

Blaine:

Blaine laughed, touching his hair again. "Ah... Well, I guess I can't really explain that. I guess not having the gel makes me feel even more naked."

Sebastian:

sebastian joined in with him. his little spike of energy had started to drain away again. sebastian moved so that his arm curled around blaine's waist. his eye lids fell heavy again. his mind fought against his body sleep. "noted." he mumbled.

Blaine:

Blaine cuddled closer, smiling slightly as he could tell that Sebastian was nearing sleep. "Goodnight, Sebastian," he replied, half starting to wonder if he'd wake up and this was all a dream.

Sebastian:

"good night b." sebastian replied. sebastain's arm went limp on blaine's hip as he relaxed his body.

Blaine:

Blaine didn't fall asleep immediately, just holding Sebastian close of him and thinking about how everything had accelerated that evening. And how glad he was it had. Eventually, he let himself fall asleep, lulled by the warmth of another body against his. When he woke up the next morning to the sound of his alarm ringing from the pocket of his pants that still lay on the floor, it took him a second to place where he was. He sat up groggily, trying to move slowly on the off-chance Sebastian wasn’t waking up to the alarm. He scooped up his pants, pulling out the phone and turning the alarm off. “Shh,” he whispered to it, quickly checking any notifications he had.

Sebastian:

sebastian woke slowly. his eyes adjusted to the bright early morning light. he felt the shift in the bed. rather than saying anything, sebastian lay still-- lulled between more sleep and getting up. however, it was hard to conceal his amusement whenever blaine spoke to his phone. "is there another person in here that i should be aware of?" he asked, he was still laying on his side with his arm over his arm as some way to block out the light.

Blaine:

Blaine chuckled slightly at the comment, looking up to see that Sebastian was awake. "Sorry, it was being loud." He knew it was pretty early, but he'd have to get to the hotel, shower, and change to be ready for 8AM call time. Blaine had never been a morning person and entirely related to the disgruntled way Sebastian was trying to block out the morning light. "Told you it was going to be an early morning."

Sebastian:

sebastian removed his arm and glanced at blaine through the crook of his arm. he couldn't help but get a crack at blaine's look. he knew that blaine was conscience about his hair and his look-- but seeing the half undone, half drenched in old product made him laugh. the picture he saw sent warmth through his body and the energy made sebastian sit up. "well, you should've told me how beautiful you looked in the morning, i would've opened my eyes a lot sooner." he said as he pushed aside the covers. he moved quickly and picked up his jeans and pulled them on. it was pretty easy to find these since they were the only things on the floor. as soon as he was half dressed, he turned to blaine. "here, let's take my car." he offered. "coffee?"

Blaine:

Blaine flattented the hair to his scalp, laughing with a hint of embarrasment. "Please," he said with a wave of his hand. "I look like I need a shower and a lot of coffee," he chuckled, pulling his pants on and then going to find the shirt he'd worn yesterday. "Cool, thank you. I can give you the hotel address. And coffee would be amazing," he stressed, getting the shirt over his head.

Sebastian:

“At your service.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Blaines cheek. Sebastian left the room down to the lower levels. He started to work on his favorite drip. He waited for the water to warm up and looked through his fridge for anything like a quick breakfast. He found some sandwiches his mom has bought for him. “Hey Blaine, you want a breakfast sandwich?” He  asked from his position in front of the fridge.

Blaine:

Blaine smiled at the bit of affection. He finished getting himself as put together as he could before following him down the stairs. "Oh, sure, if you have some," he replied, not wanting to take food Sebastian might need. He went over to where his guitar was still splayed out from their makeout session. He started gathering it up and putting it away.

Sebastian:

"is that okay like that?" sebastian asked as he wrapped the sandwich in a towel and placed it in the microwave. after he set the microwave, he went back to his coffee drip and made sure it was working properly. "i don't know much about instruments-- if you need to protect them in their case."

Blaine:

“It’s okay for just an overnight,” he replied with a shrug. Once the guitar was packed, he set it aside and went to stand with Sebastian and watch him get coffee ready. “I just use the case when I take it places. In my room I have a stand. But, yeah, always best in a case so it doesn’t get crushed or something.”

Sebastian:

sebastian pulled out the two to-go cups. he placed them down and separated out the coffee. the microwave beeped. he moved over to grab the breakfast sandwich. he wrapped it in a paper towel. "go to the fridge and pull out whatever cream you want." he told blaine as he started to pour the coffee into the two cups.

Blaine:

Blaine nodded and headed over to the fridge. He pulled out a little container of half and half. “What are you going to do before we go on?” he asked, just making conversation in this somewhat domestic scene they’d created.

Sebastian:

“At least shower.” Sebastian chuckled. It was weird having Blaine there. He realized it in the moment that his mornings were usually filled with music, blasting out of the small blue tooth speakers around his house. Sebastian got the sugar pot for them and adjusted his coffee. “Have breakfast somewhere. Maybe pick up some roses.” He smiled to himself. “You have any thing to prepare before then?” He ask.

Blaine:

Blaine started to add cream and sugar to his coffee. “God, same, that’s the first thing I’m doing,” he chuckled, stirring his drink. The mention of the roses made him glance over at Sebastian with a smile. He assumed he was just joking, but it was still a sweet callback to their earlier conversation. “No, mostly just getting ready for call. Shower, change, get my hair reveled. We did our run through yesterday after we arrived.”

Sebastian:

Sebastian watched Blaine and noted the others coffee preferences. He committed it to memory. Sebastian modded at his words. “Better get you ready then.” Sebastian smiled as he grabbed his phone and his keys. Instead of going out the front door, Sebastian went to the back door where the garage was. He pressed the opener and looked to Blaine.

Blaine:

Blaine took his things and followed Sebastian out the back door. He didn’t think he could be more impressed with this complex, but he was wrong. The fact that there was a back door to a garage? It was really nice. “Thank you, again, for breakfast and the ride back to the hotel.”

Sebastian:

“Do you need some help with your guitar?” Sebastian asked as he walked around the dark blue Cadillac. He opened up the back door for Blaines instrument. “And anytime.”

Blaine:

Blaine thanked him as he opened up the door. “Just that is great,” he confirmed as he lay the case across the back seat. “It’ll be fine like that.” Blaine walked around to the passenger seat. “Beautiful car,” he commented as he climbed inside.

Sebastian:

Sebastian nodded and walked around to the other side and slipped in. “My mom got it for my birthday.” Sebastian told him. He touched the car to start. “Had some issues back when I got it, and it had to go into the shop.”

Blaine:

Blaine got himself buckled and looked over at him. “Wow, great gift,” he replied, admiring the interior. “Oh? What happened with it?”

Sebastian:

“My mom has been taking about replacing the BMW for a while.” Sebastian caught himself. The BMW was only a couple of years old and he knew that mentioning the young age of the car. All of it just made him sound like the rich white boy he was. “Yeah, it was a good present.” He smiled as he backed out carefully. He closed the garage door and drove off to the hotel. His hand rested in the middle counsel and slowly started to drift over to Blaines leg. “Something about it needing a new starter or something. I don’t know.”

Blaine:

Blaine nodded. He’d grown up very well off, so the idea of multiple cars and new ones especially wasn’t that foreign to him. “Really nice,” he said with a nod. Nicer than most cars he’d been in. He noticed Sebastian’s hand getting closer to his leg and looked over at him, smiling just slightly. “Ah, yeah, that happens,” he replied. He didn’t know all that much about cars, but he at least knew what a starter was.

Sebastian:

Sebastian continued on with his hand. Eventually placing it on the top of blaines knees. He kept it there as he turned the steering wheel. “It makes up with its space. This was one of the only cars that’s fit my legs.” He explained. “Even struggled a bit with the BMW sometimes.”

Blaine:

Blaine watched as Sebastian's hand stilled on his knees. It was the sort of casual intimacy that Blaine didn't often experience. It was this kind of little thing...the touches, the freeing of his curls, the music playing in the background of them falling asleep... that Blaine knew was going to make it very hard not to fall for this guy. "You are pretty lanky," he said with a laugh. "Not a problem I relate to, but I imagine it's annoying while driving."

Sebastian:

sebastian snoted with blaine's comment. "oh, believe me, it was either this or something bigger." he said. "but i don't like big cars." he mentioned as his hand lulled lazily on blaine's knee. sebastian hit the break as a truck swooped in front of them. sebastian shot a look of annoyance before hitting the breaks and putting some distance between them. he thought about blaine's word: lanky. he gave a snort to it. "sexy." he commented.

Blaine:

Blaine chuckled at the thought of Sebastian driving some sort of massive SUV. It definitely didn't seem like his style. "Tall guys are sexy, what are you talking about?" he teased. As much as he was teasing him about it, Blaine thought his long legs and frame were one of the hottest things about him.

Sebastian:

suddenly, sebastian's hand moved to the inside of blaine's legs and squeezed his inner thigh hard. he let out a low humf as he took his hand back so that he had two hands on the steering wheel. smoothly, he started to maneuver quickly around in the traffic.

Blaine:

Blaine let out a small sound at the grip against his thigh. And then just like that, his hand was gone. He wasn’t quite sure how to fill the silence that followed, so he just watched the road in front of him. He took a sip of his coffee and nibbles at the food.

Sebastian:

"how is it?" sebastian asked as he got off the highway. "i haven't tried them, but my mom bought them for me."

Blaine:

Blaine nodded as he swallowed. “It’s pretty good,” he confirmed, looking over at him. “Definitely a good choice on her part. And I’m sure better than whatever hotel food everyone else ate this morning.”

Sebastian:

sebastian smiled. "better than fake eggs and weird looking gravy?" he asked, looking over at blaine. "stale cereal? i would never think that of a microwave sandwich."

Blaine:

Blaine chuckled, sipping his coffee again. “I mean, it’s not high culinary level, but definitely better than stale cereal,” he pointed out.

Sebastian:

"i was expecting you to have the high culinary skills." he chuckled as he turned at a light. "i thought about adding a cookie just to show off that i won't be a complete dead beat in the kitchen."

Blaine:

"I mean, I'm definitely not hopeless in the kitchen either. I'm definitely better at baking than I am any other cooking skill," he replied with a smile. "I think between the four of us we'll be able to make some really good stuff," he replied, referring to the house.

Sebastian:

sebastian pulled up to the hotel and glanced over. "you're making me want to skip this whole summer." he looked over at blaine as he shoved the car into park. he paused for a second and looked over at the other. his heart pounded as he thought of something to say to the other. his brain barely even registered the past ten minutes it took to get there. "i don't... um..." his brain was stuck. last night they made out, messed around, and sebastian couldn't grasp this. typically, sebastian would get them an uber and then kick them out. taking blaine home, making his breakfast, giving him coffee-- sebastian didn't want to let this go. he glanced at blaine as he felt his coffee come up. "um... break a leg today." sebastian stretched out his smile at the other.

Blaine:

Blaine smiled. He definitely couldn't wait for the fall either. They arrived at the hotel and Blaine almost didn't want to get out of the car. It had been a great night. Not just because of the kissing or the orgasms, but just because he spent it with Sebastian, feeling like someone cared about him and wanted to be near him. "Thanks," he said, returning his look. "For everything." He got out and went to get the guitar from the back before coming back to the open passenger side door. "I'll see you later?"

Sebastian:

sebastian blinked at blaine. he waited for blaine to go grab his things. his brain started numb out as blaine peaked through the passenger door. he stared at blaine for a minute. he gripped the loose fabric on his jeans. "yeah... you'll see me today."

Blaine:

Blaine gave a slight smile again. "Okay, cool. See you then." Blaine could feel the tension at leaving this night behind. Should they part with a kiss? A wave? It was just a hook-up, right? But, it felt like something more than that. "Okay, uh, bye."

Sebastian:

"bye..." sebastian said. he couldn't help but feel the awkward moment. there was something he wanted to do, he wanted to tell blaine to come back and stay with him. he wanted to follow blaine up stairs and continue to feel through that fluffy frizz hair and listen to him warm up. he lifted his hand up and waved at blaine.

Blaine:

Blaine returned the wave and shut the car door, stepping back so Sebastian could peel away. He knew he had to hurry upstairs and take a shower, change, start making sure his voice and body were ready for today, but he stayed for a moment to watch him peel away.

Sebastian:

Sebastian stared at Blaine for a moment. Maybe he should get out and hug Blaine, kiss him, or... something. But Sebastian just push himself into drive and Sebastian pulled away from him.

@utsmythe

[ptw30]

New Content ≠ New Information

- or why you might have been underwhelmed by the recent Voltron: Legendary Defender trailer. 

A few people dropped into my messages yesterday and said the exact same thing, “But Dev, we got new content in the Season 8 trailer. How did we not learn anything new?”

I’m paraphrasing a bit here, but the intent was all the same - we got new content, so we know more about Season 8, right?

Not really, no. 

Below the cut - what trailers should tell us, how Season 2′s trailer rocked, what we didn’t learn from the Season 8 trailer, and - okay, I give. There are two new things we learned about Season 8 from yesterday’s meatless burger. 

(I can do food metaphors, too.)

A trailer is supposed to do a few things, but its main purpose to explain what plot is coming up and give relevance to the new content. 

Let me put this in a food metaphor for you. Let’s say the Voltron Twitter handle promises you food. You assume a burger. Now a good trailer is just about half the burger because a season has two main obstacles - the first problem the heroes must overcome and then a second, harder issue at the season’s end. 

So a trailer should explain the initial problem and foreshadow to the final problem. That means you’re still hungry at the end of the trailer, and that’s a good thing. You now need to eat the rest of the burger - or see the season.

Do me a favor - rewatch the Season 2 trailer on Netflix. I’ll wait. 

...

You didn’t, did you? *mock glare*

Within the first 31 seconds, you know the “lions of lore” have returned. You know Zarkon, the villain, can only be defeated by these lions, and you know that Zarkon is actively hunting Voltron PLUS to raise the stakes, Zarkon can find Voltron anywhere. 

...that’s pretty much, in 30 seconds, is a recap of Season 1 and the entire plot of Season 2.  

Then we get -  New Worlds, New Allies, New Villains - which rounds out the new places we visit, the Blades, and the Robeasts. The trailer ends with the defacto showdown you’ve been waiting for since the end of the previous scene. 

Now, we don’t know if Shiro will win this battle verse Zarkon, so we’re not hungry but ravenous for the rest of this burger. And double points to the creator of this trailer because the scene above in “Space Mall” also foreshadows the second showdown between Zarkon and Shiro in “Blackout,” the second problem of the season. 

You essentially have S2 wrapped up in a 1:45 trailer. 

Then, when we watched Season 2 - not only did Voltron deliver the rest of the burger, they also threw in some fries and a milkshake. 

Good job, VLD Season 2.

Season 8 Trailer - where’s the beef? 

The issue with the Season 8 trailer is that it gave us a salad, not even the burger, and I’m not hungry after eating the salad. But I’m also not satiated. In fact, I think the tomatoes weren’t good, and I’m just...not...feeling right. 

The trailer starts with a longer version of the teaser trailer from October. I wasn’t thrilled with the original teaser trailer, but I understood it. The paladins have changed over the last two years. Now, we’ve arrived at the final season. 

No need to redo that in the first 30 seconds of the new trailer and certainly no need to just take random quotes that don’t really reflect where we are now. But - I’ll give. Okay. You want to set the scene, Voltron. Got it. 

But then once the new stuff is supposed to show, you cut to a scene from “The White Lion,” an episode from Season 6.

And okay - the paladins are heading back into Oriande, but...we knew that from the NYCC trailer. Show us something we don’t know. 

Then we see Hunk firing his bayard - 

- which was great in the Season 7 trailer, too. How about something new? ...sure, okay. He’s in a forest. That... doesn’t thrill me - unless I know the forest is the Forest of Life or something. ...more on that in a moment. 

Next, the trailer cuts to Lance who is going into the Void - an old scene from “Postmorteum,” Season 5.

Then we see Allura making a tree glow. 

So? Allura can make Voltron glow. She did it in Season 4 - “A New Defender,” so why is this tree important? I have no attachment to this tree - or Hunk’s forest adventure. You gotta give me a reason to care about this forest, Voltron. 

Then we see Hunk and Lance flying through the forest, so...again, we’re in the forest. Good. We know Pidge is also in this forest from the NYCC trailer, so...I’m glad the paladins decided to go for a picnic. 

Then we see an explosion with the lions - which we’ve seen explosions with the lions before. Why should I care about this particular explosion? (I have a point! I’m getting there...)

Then we see Matt from the NYCC trailer. Not new. Green comes for Pidge. That happened in the first season, “Return of the Gladiator.” 

And here - 49 seconds in - is when we get our first new information of the trailer!

We didn’t know that Haggar fired on the original paladins, possibly killing them. Yes! FINALLY. After all, we knew the original paladins were going to show up from the Voltron Tumblr Questions after SDCC. So good. Now we have context. (More on to that in one moment. I have to put Keef in cuz it’s Keef.)

Then Keith uses his Blade of Marmora blade - 

- which he’s been wielding since Season 2. 

My point is - none of these things mean ANYTHING without context, which the trailer does not give us. 

Who is Keith attacking? Why is he using his BoM blade and not his bayard? Without the context, as far as I know is - he decided he likes to use his BoM blade, which he did in “The Black Paladins.”

The forest! Why is that forest important? Give me a reason to care about this forest - that it holds the Tree of Life and the universe grew from that tree. Something! Anything! 

Even Allura’s end remarks - 

- are a lie because there was an episode called, “Defenders of All Universes” in Season 6.

Voltron, DreamWorks, been there, done that. Move on.

The trailer needed to explain what is actually happening in Season 8 and what makes it special, the final dark night, what are we facing? Haggar? And what? What is she really trying to do and how is it different from what Lotor did in Season 6?

That’s the beef. 

Instead of having Shiro promise the team is going to come home triumphant - it’s Voltron. Of course they are going to win. If you actually have them lose and the universe be destroyed, then at least that’d be a true plot twist. Ultimately - the Defenders of the Universe fail to defend the universe. - 

- tell us Haggar’s plan. Have Allura say, “Haggar wants to go back in time and change what happened to Altea and Daibazaal. She wants to rewrite history using the Tree of Life.”

What’s the hook here? The reality that we know might never exist. The Voltron Paladins may never have existed, and more over - should the paladins try to stop her - or help her? Is it wrong for them to wipe out the last 10k years of Galra conquering, and if so - why?

And then the lions are also in the middle of this - because they are the reason Altea and Daibazaal ultimately destroyed each other. 

Then, show us context or delete context and show us new aspects of the show. Don’t show me Lance and Keith plugging in their bayards to create the big thrusters on Voltron again. 

We watched Season 7. We know!

And explosions don’t thrill us anymore without the context. So either show that this is Earth being destroyed - OR better yet - show me the Blue Bayard being plugged into its slot by Allura or Lance. Show me the Blue Bayard and the Red Bayard. Show me the Yellow Bayard and the Green Bayard. Show me the Black Bayard and Yellow Bayard. Show me Black and Green, Red and Yellow, Black and Blue - these are all combinations that have never been done! 

Give me something to look forward to finding out, not things we have already seen. 

...Okay, there are two places where the trailer achieves this. The first place was above with Haggar and the original paladins, and the second was here - 

Sincline or Haggar attacking Atlas, which arguably isn’t new content because we just saw them on different sides of the battlefield in the NYCC trailer - but I’m making an exception because we didn’t know that Sincline and Atlas would actually meet up. 

TL;DR - Where’s my burger, Voltron? You’re dropping thirteen episodes two weeks from today, and yet - we’ve only seen 53 seconds of new content. What gives?

I’m not asking you to feed me like YJ, with the entire Dollar Menu. They gave me a five-minute trailer six months before the drop, then a scene three months before the drop, and then a full trailer a month and change out.

I’m just asking you for a solid two-minute trailer. That’s it. 

[thisislizheather]

February Feats 2020

I write this from underneath two blankets, perched atop three pillows. This is day three of being sick (Nathan just joined me in illness yesterday) and I think I’m getting better but that could just be blind hope. In any case, I still have to tell you what went on last month. Forgive the tone of this post, it might be… affected.

I heard that Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker are going to be in the Paul Simon play Plaza Suite together and so I casually thought “Ooo, might be nice to catch” so I looked it up and tickets START at $700. So I guess fuck me then. I swear to god, this fucking city.

The best cover so far this year:

Above Photo: Brian Stauffer, The New Yorker

I rewatched a movie I love: The Door In The Floor and it really holds up well. Kim Basinger and Jeff Bridges and both too good at what they do. Love this movie so much.

I rewatched The Evil Dead and look I understand it’s probably a “good horror movie” especially for its time and budget, but I fucking hated it, maybe even more so than the last time that I saw it. Never again. Why do I keep rewatching things that I hate? I don’t have to like everything. I must repeat this to myself daily.

I had lunch at Daily Provisions and their lemon cruller was really good and light and the chicken club sandwich was good, too. Always a solid morning/afternoon place.

Favourite tweets of the month.

I tried Trader Joe’s Whole Wheat Couscous and maaaaan, it was so good. So I guess all couscous is good? Gotta get my hands on that pearly couscous. That seems like the money cousocus.

I made this Greek Couscous Salad for lunches for a week and didn’t get sick of it at all, I gotta remember to keep this in the rotation. I also kept the salad and the couscous separate until I wanted to eat, and then I’d join them together.

I can’t believe I hadn’t seen this sketch before (calling someone a “goofy bitch” just about killed me), also ignore how bad an actress Cardi B is.

I finished watching The Good Place and yes it was a good show. I don’t think l liked it as much as pretty much everyone else in my life who loved it, but it was definitely a good show. This scene was the best part of the finale, for sure. That song used in the scene will always elicit tears, I remember falling in love with it when it was used in the movie that everyone hated but me, Swept Away.

Again, I visited Everlane and it still disappoints. Why do I keep thinking it’ll be different each time? What the fuck is wrong with me?

I saw Parasite and it was wonderful and everyone who hasn’t seen it should see it. I haven’t heard from one person who didn’t like it. Universally liked!

I listened to the new Strokes single and hated it, so that’s something. Growth?

I haven’t seen the whole episode yet, but I really liked RuPaul’s SNL monologue.

Why isn’t everyone putting pickles on grilled cheese? Makes no sense. Fucking taste explosion.

I finally tried the (off-menu, must be requested when it’s not brunch) Cacio E Pepe at L’Artusi and holy christ, it might be better than their mushroom ragu. I KNOW. Such wild developments! (They also started serving at lunch, but only lunch delivery, not dine-in. SO this means nothing to me.)

I think I will officially stop buying candles from Bath & Body Works. The ones at Marshalls are cheaper, last longer and the variety of scents is endless. I have a candle from Marshalls right now simply called STORM and it really does kinda smell like stormy weather. Obviously I’m waiting for a thunderstorm to light that mother. I have mental issues?

I watched the newest season of Shrill (no big spoilers ahead) and loved it, obviously. The disappointing-ness of parents is so nicely shown (that moment at the restaurant when she asks her dad what he thinks of her boyfriend and he’s so indifferent, ugh so perfect), I absolutely LOVED the wedding episode (infact all of the episodes following that one are the best ones, I think I just love the episodes not centered about this not-great relationship with her and her boyfriend), the WEHAM episode is perfect (finally someone making fun of makeup for for legs), and I continue to love the character Fran. Really hoping for a third season, especially based on the season finale.

Don’t ask me why, but I watched most of the Police Academy movies and I think the Miami one might be the best one?? I couldn’t make it twenty minutes into the Moscow one, so I feel like you might want to trust me when I say that I know what I’m talking about.

These are my new favourite leggings of all time, they feel like you’re wearing nothing at all.

Cannot get over the beauty of these women and these outfits.

Above Photo: Camila Mendes

Above Photo: Nyma Tang

I watched the Michelle Carter documentary and I don’t know how other people feel, but it’s absolutely unreal that she was found guilty. Of course Nathan disagrees.

I ate at Frank for the first time in over a decade with the one and only Irene and it’s still great. Love that they do the opposite of al dente pasta here. Photos below.

Above Photo: Tagliatelle special, at Frank

Above Photo: Roasted garlic bread, at Frank

Above Photo: Mushroom pappardelle special, at Frank

I can’t find a link for them online, but I bought some reusable Leak Proof Snack Bags by Kitchen Details at Nordstrom Rack and they’re perfect since we typically use a million of those disposable ones for holding sunflower seeds and almonds

I threw out a lot of clothing/shoes/bags, so I went out and bought some things that I absolutely love. I now have a faux fur, brown evening coat that I’ve long dreamed of owning, a new everyday purse, a vintage, gold, mesh evening purse, new everyday shoes, more sunglasses and some new wedges that may or may not replace the older wedges I’ve had since 2006 (the ones lovingly referred to as my Terminators because of the massive fall that I took in them upon exiting the movie Terminator Salvation). I could show you all of the new pieces, but I’d much rather slide into a room you’re in to show you my new fur coat. However if it annoys you not to see any of these new things that bring my joy, here are two of them.

Above Photo: Classic Reeboks from DSW

Above Photo: I also got them in blue

I’ve actually started using tiny drops of facial oil mixed with my nighttime face lotion and even though I’ve only just started to do this, my face is already way less dry when waking up. I don’t know if I can do this in the hotter weather, but for now I’ll keep it up.

I know all of these are old songs, but I recently heard and fell in love with this Taylor Swift song. And this one. And this one. Oh and this one too.

I went to Giorgio’s of Gramercy again (the last time was a few years ago with Nathan) and it’s still great! I haven’t had a steak in awhile, but the one here? Holy hell. Magnificent.

I went to see the new Kubrick 2001 exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image and it was pretty neat. They have one of his Oscars on display in a case, which was actually really cool to see.

I read and reviewed a biography of Johnny Carson that truly sucked.

So Nathan and I are in the middle of watching McMillion$ and can I just say: boooooooooooooooo. I’ve never seen a “documentary” more over-produced, self-indulgent, superfluous and WILDLY overdone. It’s a bloody six part series that could’ve EASILY been an hour and a half movie. If you ever need proof of a documentary having too much money spend, my god have you found it. Of COURSE Mark Wahlberg has something to do with it, this man needs to fucking STOP. I know they are countless other men attached to the project too, but it’s much easier to shit on just him. God, what a waste of time. The Wikipedia page is more succinct.

I watched To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before 2: P.S. I Still Love You and it was everything I wanted it to be and more. Loved the Adventures in Babysitting reference right off the top (I’ll forever love that movie and it doesn’t get talked about enough), I loved pretty much every musical choice (these are my top three songs from the movie), and I loved the idea of doing another Thanksgiving in March (although I’m pretty sure Chrissy Teigen did this a few years ago and planted that great seed in my head). Definitely the best thing on Netflix at the moment.

Seeing this restored footage of NYC in 1911 is both exciting and eerie as hell, for some reason.

Nathan and I went to the Raptors game that ended their winning streak, sorry about that.

I’ve been consumed with reading so much stuff about what’s going on right now and this was a little helpful: 4 Practical Ways to Prepare Your Home for a Pandemic. Don’t judge me for sharing this link! I’m delirious.

Things that I’m looking forward to this month: visiting Collingwood and going skiing with my family, I might splurge and get that mini birthday cake from Momofuku Milk Bar, and the new season of On My Block comes out on the 11th. I’m pretty into the idea of turning 35, usually I’m more jacked about my birthday month but I think I’m too down to care at the moment. Caring coming soon.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in January over here.

[bcwallin]

Streaming services need bonus features

The stream of content never ends.

Hulu, like many other services, has autoplay set up so that as soon as I finish one movie, I’ll start whatever’s next. Disney+ won’t start something without a click, but it’ll try to get me to start something else while the credits are rolling. Netflix doesn’t let me have a quiet moment from the second I open it, and at one point or another, it had buttons to encourage skipping the opening credits or rewatching a scene that had just finished in the middle of a movie. I want to be able to sit with the movies and let them soak in, and that’s often not easy to do when I’m being pushed to watch something else and move on – because, to analytics-obsessed streaming services, everything is content and the goal is for me to be yet another number in a streaming quarterly report.

While I crave a moment to process the film or TV show I just enjoyed, I also want other ways to enjoy them. I want to learn more about the creative process behind the piece and engage with the ideas of whatever media I’ve just seen. I want to see alternate takes the filmmakers opted not to use in the final work and hear commentaries from those artists, or the scholars who can teach me more about what I’m watching. I want to explore. I miss special features. I miss the context and bonus content that would come with DVDs, ones that encouraged me to stay with a movie even after watching it. In the age of limitless content and fully customizable menus, this experience is all but dead.

The one streaming service that I’ve found that really, fully does this — where you can generally depend on having more to watch than just the movie — is the Criterion Channel, where much of the library and supplements from the Criterion Collection are available. The first thing I watched on the service when I activated my subscription was a making-of documentary for A Hard Day’s Night. When Criterion’s movies end, they don’t force anything on me. I can explore, understand, go deep. Movies are a whole lot better with context — and a little extra something.

The Criterion Channel treats bonus features like they’re worth watching, and it’s clear when you look at the UI. Movies are treated as films or collections, and when you open them as collections, all the extra shorts, commentaries, interviews, and extras are laid out, easy to see. You can search for bonus features and you can add one of them to your watchlist without adding the movie it’s related to. The first step in offering great bonus features is to make them or at least make them available. The next thing to do is to actually show where they are, instead of pretending they don’t exist.

Sure, Netflix and Hulu have some featurettes or clips hidden with certain releases – the odd podcast or alternate cut. HBO GO sometimes offers extended editions of a movie. Amazon Prime has X-Ray trivia running over their movies, if you want to keep pausing and checking intermittently. And Disney+ has the occasional special feature that’s actually special, like the feature commentary that can play during Avengers: Endgame (if there were better commentaries available, it would be less special, but beggars can’t be disappointed about listening to the Russo brothers explaining time travel, I guess). Yet, seeing these options here and there only makes me crave more. For the vast majority of these streaming platforms’ titles, the best we can expect is an attached trailer.

I want to be able to learn more about a movie, to immerse myself in these stories and the artists who brought them to life. These materials exist and are put out on disc releases, so why can’t I enjoy them on streaming platforms? I’m sure Disney and Netflix and Amazon and AT&T have the cash on hand to clear whatever rights issues might be standing in the way, or to produce original features for content. HBO certainly saw the value when it came to explaining why Game of Thrones’ last season was such a rush job.

Am I going to have a movie night with friends where we watch a feature-length commentary or a recorded Q&A from a festival screening? Probably not. Do I get concerned looks when I complain that a special SteelBook release doesn’t deviate from the already-available bonus features in a standard Blu-ray? That’s not unimaginable. Have I felt alone for so long because these special extras feel like they’re generally only special to me, and I could just mindlessly binge Friends (which is bad) or The Office (which isn’t bad, but I’ve seen it enough) without complaining about this possibly meaningless crusade? Let’s not make this personal.

Sometimes, the special features are what pull me toward one home release over another. I’ve been interested in watching Star Wars: The Last Jedi’s dialogue-free version of the film (special features also include the documentary The Director and the Jedi, which is a step above standard featurettes), and I’ve sought out releases because they have a sing-a-long version, like a recent Mamma Mia double-feature gift purchase. If I ever buy a copy of Blade Runner, it’s going to be the one with all five cuts available. I want Disney+ to offer the incomplete version of Beauty and the Beast it once screened, which should require minimal effort (especially because they actually packaged and sold the work-in-progress version to the public). I want bonus features, and I’m getting tired of waiting for them.

I get the motivation for us to move from title to title, mindlessly consuming this vague, money-making thing they call content, but that doesn’t mean I understand why they do this. Why does Netflix, self-crowned champion of the independent cinema, not want to encourage viewers to fall in love with film and explore their passion? Does context only belong on its Twitter account (which should really stop pretending it’s a human person) or in podcasts that I wouldn’t have known existed without an oddly insatiable curiosity about The Other Side of the Wind, a not-so-good movie I can’t stop thinking about?

Even when they’re not providing context, bonus features can just be fun. Animated features that have bloopers as if the characters are real actors being filmed? I love it. An in-universe animated series that also features a commentary track by the characters being portrayed in it? Absolutely. How about a series of one-offs that eventually launched a TV series? It can happen. And those are just Disney properties.

I’m tired of the constant, never-ending stream of content, of being told to watch one thing then the other then the other — “Are you still watching?” Netflix asks, then shovels more down your gullet — and I can’t even breathe and contemplate what I just saw. I’m annoyed that Roku’s Apple TV app won’t let me watch a movie with commentaries or that the best Amazon Prime has to offer in terms of context involves disrupted viewing.

Bonus features let us take a moment. They’re the special ingredient that home entertainment gave us. And I want them back.

Originally published on Input

[fluffi]

i think it was because god's menu was released around the same bp and svt made their comebacks. same thoughts tho on gm > bd and i was also glad that bd got the wins gm didn't. and same with the streaming mvs while studying : ] ahh, the easily distracted people we are. (reading cut and litol font bc poor ppl who see this on the dash TT)

i've heard chinese ballads (usually osts of films and from a chinese friend) and their songs really tend to tug on my heartstrings. i hope sm gives shotaro more stuff to do soon :[ with some of the units being active and sungchan being an mc on a weekly show, it makes me wonder what he's doing. do you think nct will form a new subunit?

no, i'm not lactose intolerant so it really took me by surprise. it was a one-time thing. hopefully it doesn't happen again. i can't really say i'm a big fan of ice cream but it's good occasionally yk as a treat to yourself. and ahhh, i miss drinking smoothies. my favorite stall has been closed for nearly two years now, idk if they ever re-opened since our city mall burned down :[

i think it's an nct thing? it's why i never get tired of them bc they're always active in a way. you should've seen how things went down last year! march 127 album, april dream mini-album, may 127 repackage, june wayv album and the whole nct 2020 thing. it was a wild year. about the track, i listened to it once and forgot about it. might give it a few more listens but it might not grow on me at all. yes! wasn't a big fan of hot sauce at first too bc i thought the intro was weird (not jaemin's part, like the first thing that plays). and yes, that hook loops in my head 24/7. i even made it my instagram bio.

stray kids world domination indeed! and i agree that their performances were really impressive (specially the deadpool one, best one yet) but sometimes i would fancy ateez' more. i didn't watch kingdom too bc it stressed me out as a multi. always caught between being happy for one group and being sad for the others. and atz and tbz! you're still getting into nct and you're thinking of adding 19 more boys! judging from what i know your taste in music is, i think you'll like tbz's music better since there are a lot more soft songs there than in atz. but do give both discographies a listen in the future!

oh izone! i've only heard of them at music shows and dance choreo compilations bc of them being in sync. they're really satisfying to watch! i thought their title tracks were catchy as well! quite unfortunate that i never got into them really. but again, i dont think i can handle stanning temporary groups.

i'm starting to see a pattern in your biases :D i wouldn't be too surprised if you'll be drawn to jeno at some point in your dream venture. dream is soooo easy to love so if you really end up ulting them, i would understand why. and also, YES PLEASE WRITE FOR DREAM AND TAG ME IF YOU WILL. THANK YOU ><

thank you! :c don't get your hopes up tho, the masterlist must've been interesting to browse but are the fics truly worth it? XD i think not. since you already know koe, i'm reccing users @/rouiyan, @/nsheetee and @/loonacitys. i don't have that much fluff in my ficrecs blog. i think, i've heard of lvdsc before (maybe even read a fic or two) but i can't find their blog now. be careful in privating your works, you might end up losing them forever if you don't keep track of their links...(?) that's what happened to the works that i privated :/ take me with you if you move blogs ;n;

seungmin frequently left updates abt what he was doing, left good nights and good mornings, the occasional i miss you. he called fans 'baby' once. not sure if it was a mistranslation, or really just a one-time endearment. other than that, nothing beyond the usual. seung vlives always make me cry ;n; he always look so adorable and precious. also the gif, the fic was more on fake head-butting really but yes you could say it was also a fake nose boop bc it sounds cuter. i'll make sure to tag you on future seung content on the dash. (time to officially claim him as your ult, yes. dont make him secret anymore :3)

sorry it took me a while. tumblr went batshit. the ' werkl;' stopped working midway and i got busy with school yesterday. also haechan birth today and i'm so emo abt it. it's literally just a boy turning 21.

little font and cut saga lets go!!

(just kidding, i cant do little font typing for long periods of time, makes my eyes go beserk haha.)

true true, im afraid for txt on music shows now because theyre going against some big names (literally bts like whatj jsdf what was hybe thinking). yeah, streaming mvs while studying aka watching mvs on loop lmao. i still want to stream skzs final kingdom performance on instinct but i remember that theyve already won!! hehe

ah chinese ballads always make me emo, i like to scream out lyrics to the songs at the top of my lungs and sit there on the verge of tears. its a cultural thing maybe *sobs*. ooh, what show is sungchan mc-ing in? ill check it out. i thought sm would make nct japan for sungtaro (i heard sungchan speaks japanese) so it was a shocker when they made...nct hollywood lmao. given the current circumstances we're probably not going to get a new subunit anytime soon :( hopefully taro will have stuff to showcase during that period of time.

burned down?? oh my, what happened to your mall? that sounds terrifying. i remember when the front of my school caught on fire and we were all ushered out but we thought it was a drill and didnt find out till years later lmao.

oh true, since theyre such a big pack too. constant comebacks and promotions haha, nctzens never catch a break with 23 members. i listened to the new track again (ive forgotten the name already) but i cant- i cant do it. its just not my style hhh. i rewatched the mv for the godly visuals though. i dont know if youre talking about that 'bibididibibidiododo' part by that female morphed voice at the beginning of the song, because i wasnt a fan of that too. it grew on me though.

same, actually! im not an atiny and dont stan any other group in the show besides skz but i watched each groups performance and ranked them haha. at times ateez would rank over skz, it was wild. also yeah, my other multi friend was freaking out about kingdom and ended up abandoning the show because she was so scared of the fanwars and having to deal with her 'conflicting feelings'. about the stanning thing, in my defense, i have a list of groups i want to stan and ive recently added tbz and atz. the list is long, i have a long way to go! also yeah, i dont prefer ateez's songs and i have a bunch of tbz title tracks in my playlist but if i approach their discography like i did with nct then i think i would like at least five songs.

izone are my queens. theres a reason why theyre the only girl group who made it to my ult list haha! super talented and filled with variety and visuals, a perfectly concocted group (literally, sobs in pd48 scandal). ah, temporary groups. yeah i cried about their disbandment for like 3 days straight, it was bad.

a pATTERN?? INTERESTING. DO ELABORATE. jeno, oh my gosh hes like bang chan. an intimidating-looking bear whos actually filled with love and softness on the inside. im currently having a jaemin run though, his make a wish fancam is doing some wacky things. also yeah, dream is really easy to love. i fell for them so hard, theyre all talented and cute and adorable and the team ambiance is so nice. really rising up my stan list now. i mightt write for dream! ill have to see, hehe.

personally i think the fics are going to be worth it. i can feel it in my boOOnes. ooh, recommendations! fun :D ill check them (and yours) out after i finish this 30k jisung fic. ive been trying to finish it since yesterday but i keep getting sidetracked. also, i made a mistake. its luvdsc with a 'u', maybe thats why you couldnt find it? ahh. thank you for the privating tip though! will keep in mind. and of course ill take you with me if/when i move blogs. we're friends now! <3

SEUNGMIN CALLED STAYS 'BABY'???!!@)(@#*()! I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE ASKDFJDF. im exciting for the fake nose boop drabble!! i love soft couple moments hehe. also yeah maybe its time to make him my ult...hes going to have to compete against jake my beloved ope.

dont worry about being 'late' or anything! we all have our own stuff to do. also yeah tumblr is weird asf sometimes. if you havent realized i typically answer longer asks around the same time everyday, when i get to sit in front of my computer and pull out my clickity-clackity keyboard. super relaxing.

AND YES HYUCKIE DAY!!! HES SO ADORABLE HONESTLY. im in love with all seven members of dream, my fic rec blog is currently filled with fics for them haha.

[63824peace]

Wednesday, 30th of november 2005

I noticed a boy in front of the train station this morning. He looked like a junior high school student. He only wore a short-sleeve shirt on his torso, and he had a sports bag slung over his right shoulder. He walked with a brisk gait.

The temperature drops below 10 celsius in mornings and evenings, even though winter has just begun. The cold didn't feel fresh and pleasant this morning... the chill wormed into our skin, straight through our jackets.

That could pass for a good conversation-starter since everyone feels the cold. "This morning I saw an energetic student striding spiritedly, even in this weather!" I couldn't honestly predicate conversation with that observation however. It's simply untrue.

The student hugged his bag as though trying to squeeze warmth from it. I couldn't see his face, but his hunched back told me that his whole body was stiff and shaking. His posture proclaimed, "I'm freezing!" I don't know whether he had a blazer or a stand-up collar style school uniform... either way, he must have forgotten his jacket at school.

I wondered... did he have a reason for missing his jacket? Had he quarreled with his parents? Did he even have parents?

Had he been too poor for a jacket?

I decided that he probably hadn't been too poor. Mostly wealthy families live in that area. Nonetheless, why only a short-sleeve shirt?

I continued to observe him. I moved closer to him, wanting an answer. The boy walked without changing his posture.

The affair wasn't my business, of course. Still, he clearly had a definite reason. I couldn't help but speculate on it.

Did the cold only frost his skin? Or had winter's ice hardened his mind?

"Winter weakens everyone. The cold wind blanks our faces, and courage dies in weather's violence."

Can that young man survive winter?

I absorbed myself in these thoughts-and he disappeared around a corner. I might sound cruel writing this, but I felt as though the temperature had risen a bit once he had disappeared from my sight. I felt oddly relieved.

KojiPro's offices feel hot. We have many computers and other work apparati that give off heat. No one here wears more than a single layer to work, even in winter. Some staff members only wear T-shirts.

The programming staff feels the most intense heat. Even in winter, almost twenty percent of them wear T-shirts because the largest number of heat-emitting devices surrounds them.

I take the heat in a T-shirt too. I used to wear a light sweater all the time when I had my office in Tokyo's Ebisu district. I almost always wear a long-sleeve T-Shirt since I've moved to the Hills. We might have larger offices now, or we might simply have more heated machines.

I have started to wear light garments underneath a thick jacket or coat since I started working at the Hills. I can't deal with the office heat otherwise.

We never feel cold in here. KojiPro stays tropical even during winter. The boy who I saw this morning probably arrived at school, and then he became freed from the cold and loneliness. I am likewise freed here. Warm places exist even during winter. We can resist the cold as long as we have these places.

We spent the morning in a meeting. War buddies don't exist in the meeting room. It's a battle between a lot of different officers. Some continue fighting when they don't realize that they have been shot.

Why was it so cold in there? The temperature in there had dropped remarkably from the development studio's temperature.

We have to remember some things during a meeting. We must recognize that we make cold, objective decisions in our platoon headquarters. Soldiers don't bring their emotions onto the battlefield under any circumstances. I still haven't adjusted myself to those rules, so perhaps I'm not very mature.

The meeting lasted longer than scheduled, and it prevented me from going to the bookstore. I had wanted to breathe fresh air during lunch time, but I couldn't get my wish today.

I never handle mail during a meeting. I handle the bulk afterward. Today I took care of it while I ate sushi bento. The more popular bento had already sold out, so I took the one that the shop had left.

I hardly tasted my food... I didn't feel very stable after that meeting. I swallowed each bite whole to calm the pain in my gut. The room's temperature felt high, but I felt winter bristle in my mind.

I decided to take HIDEOBLOG's readers' comments as a side dish to my bento. I ate hungrily. Many of the comments were delectable, and sometimes tears welled in my eyes because I had hit upon a comment flushed with wasabi.

My war buddies across the internet compensated for the dearth inside the office. I'll keep my chin up.

At 3 P.M. I had an interview with Mono Magazine. They will print a special feature article on video games in their end-of-the-year issue.

They asked me, "Have you wanted anything particular lately?"

I answered, "I'd like to have time more than 'anything particular'."

The vinyl figurine for Ex-Kamen Rider 1 (Ex-1) was released. Yoshiteru, the king of hobbies, bought it for me. I added the figurine to my special shelf reserved for Ex-1.

I'm a fan of Kamen Rider generally, but I love Ex-1 most of all. I have mentioned this in my serial article Interview with the Inspired Naked for this month's Hyper PlayStation 2 magazine. I have titled the article The Movies That Created Hideo Kojima.

I harbor a special passion for Ex-1, though that's probably only a matter of my generation. My heroes are Tiger Mask, Kamen Rider, and Ashita no Joe.

Many more problems cropped up at KojiPro besides the meeting. I felt more and more depressed. I always enjoy problems that arise while creating a game of course, but today's problems weren't related to creation. I needed to resolve them nonetheless. That's part of my job too... these things don't just go away.

I missed the days when I simply created games. I asked myself how long this frigid, stiff life would continue.

And suddenly I remembered the morning's boy. I hadn't realized it, but there's a sense in which I didn't have a jacket either.

Had he been my doppelganger? A luminous shadow? Had I seen a premonitory vision?

KojiPro sweltered like a greenhouse, but I shivered with toothy chills.

I was too busy to update HIDEOBLOG before the end of the day. I had written until 2 A.M. last night, but none of it was readable since I had been drinking. I tried to make corrections to HIDEOBLOG while I ate a sandwich bento in the evening too.

Everything seems meaningless.

I hardly had time to eat today.

All of the participants for OOOO Training had gathered on the fourteenth floor to watch a certain pre-training film. Mr. Mori had given it to us. He gave instructions to watch it before training, no excuses.

I have actually seen it in the theaters, but Mr. Mori advised me to rewatch it. I didn't have time for that of course, but all the other main members went to the fourteenth floor. KojiPro had a holiday's silence.

I received the final copy for Subsistence's and MGA2's commercials. Sony Computer Entertainment will broadcast them by the end of the year.

I really want those games to become hits.

I felt as though I saw myself at that moment, while I watched the MGA2 commercial. I felt only one difference between the commercial and myself: things in the commercial exploded with heat, and I felt exploded with coldness.

Mr. Senju reported our progress with the provisional schedule for Subsistence's release events.

"Will you have enough stamina for this, Director?" He looked at me pretty hard. "I still have my doubts about this. I can't say that it looks fun so far. Do you really think we ought to push ourselves to a twenty-four hour marathon's pace?"

"A twenty-four hour marathon pace... could we do something like that?"

I knew that Mr. Senju didn't need to answer when I saw his expression. The truth was written on his face.

"As I see it, we need to push this thing hard. We need to make it outrageous to the point that everyone will see what's going on and say, 'What the hell?!' Don't you agree?"

"Yeah. I think you're right." Mr. Senju assented.

I had traveled around Tokyo, Osaka, Kobe, and Kyoto for various events during last year's release tour. We had a tough schedule, but I really enjoyed it. The events happened all over the place and at all times... morning in Kyoto, the afternoon in Osaka, then over to Kobe, and back again to Osaka.

That schedule had really seemed impossible. We were so crunched for time that we actually traveled from the Shin-Osaka train station to Kobe via an old railroad line.

We had all worn khaki windbreakers with "MGS3" printed on the backs, and we wound up on a train packed with passengers. Complete strangers went out of their way to cheer us up on the JR Tokaido Line. Folks on the train platform often called for us to stop so they could shake our hands. I felt like I had reached my limit physically, but I made sure to spend as much energy for those fans as I had at TGS.

This year's schedule looks tougher than last year's. I wonder if I can make it. No, I'll have to do it. I'll just pay close attention to my physical well-being until the release date.

Ms. Sato and Ucchi entered my booth in the evening. "We found this, Director. Isn't it your iPod? You must have forgotten it."

I looked and saw that they held a silver iPod-Mini with white headphones attached. I showed them my green iPod-Mini on the desk. "No, this is mine."

They looked at my iPod. Their faces grew troubled. "So whose is this?"

"Do you mind if I check it out?"

"You think you'll be able to tell?"

"I'm certain that I can infer the owner from his music."

I took the iPod-Mini, turned it on, and selected the Artist Category from the menu. All of the items in the window were Japanese. Furthermore, I saw mostly very recent singers, with a few old-fashioned bands here and there.

"So what's the verdict?"

"Hmm...."

I suspected who owned the iPod-Mini, but I wasn't absolutely sure yet. It was still only a hunch.

I next selected the Album Category and read the titles as I turned the touchpad. The names ran by... Anzenchitai 1, Anzenchitai 2, Anzenchitai 3, Anzenchitai 4, Anzenchitai 5, and so on.

"I see...."

They reacted as soon as I had spoken. "Did you figure it out?"

"I did."

"So whose is it?" They leaned forward as though scrutinizing a card trick.

"Wait a second... I'm going to put the final nail in the coffin."

I turned the touchpad again. "Aha! Here it is!" The exact title that I had expected appeared in the window.

"Whose is it then?"

"It's Murashu's."

"Oh? How do you know? It doesn't show a name on it."

"An iPod is a kind of personal ID. We can learn the owner's musical tastes according to its contents." I explained everything as though I was Kosuke Kindaichi, the famous Japanese sleuth.

"Okay. So what's the clincher?"

"Look here… this! No one except Murashu would put this on an iPod."

I showed the player to them. Track titles from the Tokimeki Memorial Drama CD appeared all in a row.

"Oh... so Murashu-san listens to this?"

"I'll just return this to him."

Murashu had produced radio dramas for the Konami Media Entertainment division before he came to Konami-JPN. He had produced the MGS Drama CD.

He devoted most of his work toward a radio drama for the Tokimeki series. It had been a big hit at the time, broadcasted by Nippon Cultural Broadcasting, Inc. The program was later released as a Drama CD.

Murashu had put all of his radio productions on his iPod! He likes to listen to dramas that he produced himself. No one else is such a narcissist. That was the clincher.

Now that I think about it, an iPod's contents amount to quite personal information. From this alone we can learn a person's tastes, preferences, behavioral tendencies, and lifestyle. Junk mail companies would kill to get their hands on that data, as they do past video rentals.

It would be interesting if we swapped iPods whenever we first met someone. We'd probably understand each other more quickly. It seems like a good idea for arranged marriages and parties where two unfamiliar social groups hang out.

I heard that such exchanges are actually quite popular in America. Maybe I'll try swapping iPods the next time I meet someone new.

But what would happen if I dropped mine somewhere? It would expose my world. No one would get hurt in the process, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I think we could look at Murashu as a demonstration of that circumstance. We might see future identity theft crimes arise because of misused iPods.

I have heard that some shops in Akibahara sell old cell phones. Why would someone buy an unusable cell phone? To read the former owner's undeleted text messages… that's kind of disturbing.

Come to think of it, web browser bookmarks would be awkward too. They don't convey a person's identification data, but a stack of one's tastes and interests amounts to the same thing.

Actually, the most embarrassing thing is showing other people your diary, like HIDEOBLOG, for example.

My good buddy Piston Uehara from Power Professional Baseball visited my booth in the evening, just as I updated HIDEOBLOG. He had come to Tokyo to assist the conference that will start tomorrow.

"You ready for a little of this?" He made a glass-tipping gesture with his wrist near his mouth.

I had planned to swim, but I changed my mind and went for a drink instead. Quite a lot of Friendly Fire had hit me during the day. I knew that alcohol wouldn't heal my wounds, but I accepted Piston's invitation anyway. He's a good friend who knows how much it sometimes helps to be bad.

We went to the Nishi Azabu bar Sankyu, where I had gone with Murashu two months before. We ordered some snacks, and I got one beer with three glasses of wine.

Our conversation really livened up toward the end, as we recounted stories from our work during MSX development.

November's last day... the month seemed really short. The year has only one month left.