#you may not realize it but people who are afraid to ask will learn from reading these stories

[deadsetobsessions]

Once more the hallucinations hit, and once more I am here writing it out.

My brain is fucking terrifying and I want out, so bad. This came to me in the form of a nightmare.

Also, please don’t take the timeline into consideration, because I have no idea what’s going on. Again, nightmares and dreams tend to not have the best coherency when it comes to plot and timelines. The reincarnation doesn’t have a name, I was too busy feeling terrified. Shit in parentheses was how I experienced the nightmare. Everything else is just me adding sprinkle sprinkle.

——

Ra’s al Ghul.

Talia al Ghul.

Two names that she had been aware of, in the peripherals of her hyper fixation. Two characters meant to enhance the story of the Dark Knight. Side characters, on a good day. Perhaps, a main antagonist on a better day.

On a bad day?

Main characters. Real, living people. Real, living, breathing assassins.

Unfortunately, they’re her new family. One she remembered coming into, bathed in a pool of blood and screams.

She was not a baby.

She is now, a baby. The first of Talia al Ghul’s children. The eldest, once Damian al Ghul was born.

Swaddled in emerald green and gold silks, she was presented to a man with silver streaked hair and a receding hairline. He too, was robed in green and golds.

“A daughter, Talia?” He rumbled, the smooth Arabic flowing out of his mouth failing to hide the acrid disappointment. The child, past the haze of confusion of suddenly being deported from her own adult body into one of a helpless child, felt a stirring of irritation. It’s good she learned the language, because now she knew exactly how Ra’s felt about her. The child grumbled a displeased sound. Not that she would have ignored the fact that her grandfather was Ra’s al Ghul. (He smelled like moth eaten fabric and blood- but I think that was because my cat accidentally scratched me.)

“My apologies, father.”

“Do not tell the young detective of this. Had it been a son, perhaps things would have been different. No, a daughter would only hinder him.”

Talia bowed, hands tightening on her daughter. “May I raise her, father?”

“A resource is still a resource. Go ahead, Talia.”

“Yes, father.” Talia took the dismissal and bowed before leaving.

On her way back to the room with the reincarnation’s crib, Talia al Ghul stroked her daughter’s head.

“I wish you were born a boy, my daughter. I am sorry my beloved will never know of you.”

The reincarnation looked at her new mother. She’s young, the woman-child realized. A teenager.

“You’ll have to be useful, my daughter. Your grandfather is not so kind as to keep the useless. I… do not wish for your death,” her mother muttered.

Great. She got new life and it’s already in danger.

——

She learned to swing a knife. Swords. She learned and devoured the teachings. She learned to be useful.

But then they asked her to take the life of a man who did her no wrong.

Her baby blues clashed with her grandfather’s Lazarus green.

She was still young. A child.

“No.”

“No?”

“He did no wrong.”

“He failed, granddaughter.” Ra’s smiled down at her, patronizing. Cruel. “Perhaps you possess your father’s heart, and you are foolishly sentimental, as women and children tend to be. But in the end, you are an al Ghul and you will obey. Plunge in your blade and I will reward you.”

The reincarnation looked at the man kneeling in front of her, resignation and a hint of pity in what little she could see of his face.

She’s already died before. What did she have to be afraid of?

“No.”

They tried to beat the weakness out of her. It didn’t work.

——

The reincarnation stared at the mirror, left alone in an opulent cage of gold and emeralds and precious stones that meant little to her now.

Her hands traced her back, small fingers finding purchase in soft skin. Her mouth opened fruitlessly, noise refusing to escape. She still felt the burning magic, the brand her own blood had carved into her skin and soul because she refused to kill. The chains her grandfather had shackled around her with magic and cruel amusement.

She had killed him, in the end. Obey, or be punished. Her body had moved without her permission, the reincarnation a prisoner in a body that refused to do as she commanded. The knife swung, a life taken, her hands dipped in red.

She learned a valuable lesson that day.

There were things worse than death.

“This is an order, granddaughter.”

The Magic had flared a searing heat at her neck, forcing her to kneel on broken legs. Ra’s loomed above, authority in his voice. She was bound to obey, regardless.

“You will never speak another word of affection, you will never speak another word to anyone unless I allow it. Perhaps this will teach you of your folly, and your place in this world.”

The loss of her freedom and the fear that came with it was a bitter and devastating lesson.

——

Ra’s al Ghul was so much worse than what little she knew of him.

She was right to be afraid for herself.

Her mother had worried, when she’d withdrawn and refused to speak to her. Even if she could, the reincarnation would not have wanted to. The reincarnation had felt furious, back then, when she thought of Talia. Her mother who refused to protect her. Her mother, who claimed she loved her but refused to see the chains Ra’s wrapped around her neck. She who plied the reincarnation with a supportive hand but forced her into the fighting pits.

But, as the reincarnation stumbled out on bruised and used legs from Ra’s al Ghul’s meeting chambers where he had allowed his business partners to partake in her, she realized that Ra’s was a monster in a human’s body and her mother was a victim of his making.

The lesson Ra’s taught her that day was that if she was not useful, if she did not kill, he would take what was left of her and make use of her.

Hate flared in her heart, and the beginning of Ra’s downfall began the day he let her go from the chambers alive. Injured, but alive. Injured and violated, but alive and furious.

——

She carved her hate and rage and helplessness and fear in the bodies of the people he bid her to kill. Her silenced screams were expressed in the way she splattered blood, the way she covered herself in it. A killing machine first, a stress reliever second, and a child… wasn’t on the list of things she was allowed to be.

His enemies were felled, one after another. He gave her his approval, something she detested.

But still, she continued, bodies racking upwards, tens turning to hundreds, hundreds edging into thousands.

The red in her ledger became ichor and guilt. Her language became violence and obedience.

“You have become a sharp tool, granddaughter.”

She was a genius, after all. And now, she could not disobey. A blade that Ra’s believed will never point towards him. She kneeled. She obeyed.

“Thank you, grandfather.” Her words were only allowed to come out- without searing, terrible pain- when she was thanking him. She tried not to do it as often as he wanted. He thought he broke her when he read the obedience she carved into her body language.

But she never bowed. Never. Not to him. Never.

——

“My weapon could learn much from your granddaughter,” David Cain sat across from Ra’s, wine in their stupid goblets. How she detested the green and blacks he’s seen fit to dress her with. She’s dressed provocatively, not of her own choice. She doesn’t have much of those- doesn’t have much in ways of choices- these days.

She was twelve, and Ra’s al Ghul deserved to die.

“Her combat is a higher form of what my daughter has achieved. How did you do it?”

When Ra’s began to reply, she slipped away.

She found the girl. She found… the cage- the black box- the child was placed in. The child flinched from her when she opened the metal box, fear only easing as the reincarnation kept her body language neutral and kind. (It was pitch black, and about the size of like, a closet. No light. Only from whatever door the box had.) (Cass’ hands hurt from banging on the walls to be let out)

David Cain’s daughter, her mind whispered, the memories of another life once more making itself known.

“Cassandra.” She whispered, regretting it immediately when pain wracked her body. She fell to her knees as the punishment for disobeying an order slammed into her.

The girl looked at her in concern, but did not move closer. The reincarnation stared at this girl and saw a reflection of herself.

David Cain would be here for a month. She will free Cassandra in those days.

——

The weapon stared at the girl in front of her, kneeling in pain.

She did not understand.

-

The girl came back. Water. Food. Kind.

The weapon felt warm. The girl was quiet. No sounds. Good. The weapon knew the girl understood. The weapon thinks that the girl is a weapon too.

-

The girl comes back, again. This time, she makes a sound. It hurt her, but she did it again. The weapon understands when the girl points at herself and repeats the sound. The sound means the girl. The girl expects something from the weapon.

The weapon makes the sound, flinching to see if the owner will come to punish it. The girl purposefully sits, relaxed but vigilant… and protective. Of the weapon?

The weapon relaxed. It repeated the sound, pointing at the girl.

The girl smiles, in pain. But approval. The weapon feels- the weapon is warm, like under the blanket. Approval.

The girl teaches her to make sounds but the weapon communicates without it. It does not like the sounds, does not need them, but the girl seems to think it’s important.

The weapon likes the girl, so the weapon learns. They still understand through no sounds, through reading each other.

-

The girl comes back, silently. Secretly. The weapon does not notify the owner. The weapon feels- does not want to.

The girl- the girl with the sound- she says a different sound. Her body tells the weapon that it’s important, this sound.

And when the girl points at herself and says her own sound, then points at the weapon and says that new sound again, the weapon begins to understand.

The girl had given the weapon her own sound.

“Cass—n- ra.”

“Cass,” the girl said, and Cassandra understood.

“Cass.” Cassandra pointed to herself.

-

The owner wanted- wanted Cassandra to end a life. Cassandra watched the owner kill and gesture to the dead thing.

Cassandra did not want to.

When Cassandra is placed back into the pitch black box, she waited for the girl.

The girl came.

“Don’t want.” Cassandra clung to her, reading the welcome and the sadness in the girl’s body. Cassandra tucked her face into the girl’s shoulder. She is cold. The girl is warm.

The girl hugged her back. The girl understood. Sadness hardened into lines of determination. Cassandra felt… light. Felt hope.

-

Cassandra slipped away from the place, water in her pack for the dessert and money to run from the country. The girl stayed behind, seeing her off. The girl tells her to never come back.

Cassandra did not want to leave the girl behind, but the girl could not go.

“Be free, Cass.” The girl had whispered through the pain. “For the both of us.”

——

Her grandfather knew. He allowed David Cain to break her, not kill because she was of use to him still, as a lesson. She found that she hated his lessons. But, she hated his attention more.

And still, she could not regret. How could she, when Cass trusted her with what fragile hope she had?

So, she lets him beat her, and provokes him with smirks and fearless eyes because the longer he’s focused on her, the more time Cass has to run.

Then, he gets too angry, and insults Ra’s, whose eyes grew cold. Her grandfather gestured and while she usually hated the command that followed that gesture, she could not feel that hatred now.

She got back up, legs broken and arms twisted once more, and attacked David Cain.

Ra’s would not follow Cass. Not when she was not his business to deal with, and not when David Carin’s fury amused him so.

David Cain would not follow Cass. Not while she still drew breath. The reincarnation stood, and threw herself at one of the best assassins of the century.

She tore his throat out with nothing but her teeth. She felt, for once, not like a monster. Not even when Ra’s nodded in approval and ordered for David Cain’s broken body to be cleaned up.

——

She’s been granted a mission in New Jersey, once her months of discipline- of torture- ended. She does not get ordered to find Cassandra. She’s fourteen now, and as silent as ever. Her mother had adjusted to her silence by then- long ago, actually, taking it as a quirk her daughter had developed. She hadn’t been a terribly vocal child, after all. Talia praised her for being useful even as a woman- the self degradation something the reincarnation had no doubt Ra’s had insidiously trained into Talia- and for being loyal to Ra’s.

Sometimes, she hates Talia for being- for-

Never mind. She couldn’t afford to hate anyone else.

She killed her targets early, determination and wistfulness urging her movements into sharp . Then, she made her way to Gotham and slipped into the city of darkness- where her father was.

She watched as he hid in the shadows almost as easily as she did. She watched as he flew and glided with the younger Robin. (He was younger than her by a year. She checked.) He was free. They were free.

She wished…

As she turned away, she saw a child tumbling from the edge of a roof. It was an instinct she’d thought Ra’s had managed to bury after the months he’d spent making sure she killed only children.

She hated him.

She caught him, swooping in and tucking him against her side as she plucked him from the air and plopped him back onto the crumbling roof of Gotham’s slums.

“Oh, thank you! So much- are you a vigilante?” The boy asked, looking at her masked face. It’s a good thing she wasn’t exactly dressed like a regular League operative.

She shook her head. Her eyes fell onto his camera, faint memories rising once more. She had an inkling-

“I’m- uh- Tim!” The boy introduced himself nervously, edging away from her silence. “Thank you for saving me…?”

She nodded. She pointed to the camera, tilting her head.

“Oh- you… want to see it?” He clutched his camera closer. Oh, he did have some sense of self preservation. She wondered why a seven year old was allowed to roam these streets… but she did worse at seven.

She held her hand up and back up. The boy hesitated, and then showed her the camera. “Uh- I took pictures of Robin and Batman!”

They sat on that roof for hours, and she let Tim Drake tell her stories about her father and his son. Ward. Son.

She could tell that Tim didn’t have anyone to listen to him.

She didn’t have long until she had to go back or risk severe punishment, but… she could make time for Tim, to listen to him.

She wondered if Cass managed to escape completely. She wondered if her sister all but in name and blood learned how to smile.

——

Tim had never had a friend before!

She listened to him! And gave him hugs the one time he was brave enough to ask! And she seemed to like Batman and Robin as much as he did! No one who didn’t like them would listen to his endless rambling otherwise, right? (Tim was super skinny, like ribs poking out skinny. He looked like a sickly Victorian child and he was kind of cold)

“And then, Robin went like this,” he pantomimed the awesome punch Dick Grayson did on a Joker goon. “And the guys got knocked out just like that!”

His new friend nodded, looking interested.

“Sorry, am I talking too much?” Tim asked anxiously. He didn’t want to make his friend hate him!

She shook her head, and gestured for him to continue.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded.

His new friend was so cool! She even taught him how to throw a punch and to fight!

——

When she had to leave, she prepared Tim for it.

“Do you have to go?”

She nodded and placed a hand on his head, ruffling his hair. Her other hand held a duffle bag with an assortment of weapons she carefully kept from him. (One of the blades still had guts on it, which, ew.)

“Try not to fall off anymore roofs, little photographer.” She said, smiling at his shocked look before leaping away.

“Wait, you can talk?!” He shouted at her back. She smiled a little wider.

——

“A son, this time.” Ra’s al Ghul’s voice echoed in his disgustingly flashy throne room. It rings of approval.

The reincarnation stood behind her mother, eyes cast downwards.

“Well done, Talia. I finally have a worthy heir.”

Damian al Ghul cooed.

The reincarnation was scared. But… she could not allow her younger brother to be trapped like she was. She’s fifteen now, a decade of slavery having worn her down and nearly broken her. But with her brother… no, she could not allow it.

She met her mother’s eyes and knew then that they agreed. Protect Damian, at all costs.

She ignored the sting of envy. So what her mother could not find it in herself to protect her daughter? So long as she protected Damian, it didn’t matter.

Maybe she didn’t matter. Maybe she wasn’t worth anything. Maybe- maybe- maybe.

She also ignored the seed of disgust she had for mother’s actions in conceiving Damian. She couldn’t do anything about it. Talia was also a victim.

A louder voice in her asked if she could really excuse that, when Talia had a choice and she chose to hurt and violate Bruce Wayne like that. She wondered if she could truly ever forgive Talia. She wondered if Bruce Wayne got therapy.

——

She stared at the tome in front of her, eyes blank. (Actually, she had no eyes. Like? Empty sockets, but then later she had eyes???)

The brand- the shackles- the chains could only be broken if Ra’s died. She wasn’t opposed to that. But if he died, so did she. She couldn’t even kill herself to get out, because the chains would be there even if she died. If she was revived- a high chance, thanks to the fucking pits- then the chains would still be there.

Perhaps… she could use the pits?

Her mind turned and turned.

——

“This is your ukht.” Her mother pointed at her. Damian stared up at her, and she melted. Her brother was too damn cute.

“Ukhti?”

She nodded as her mother smiled in joy. “Yes, habibi.”

She was better at hiding the pain, now. She was better at enduring it, too, that fucking burning feeling. She spoke more, but only to Damian.

It would not do for her brother to grow up not knowing how to receive verbal expressions of affection. Not like she did, in this life.

Still, it hurt to speak. But then, she had an idea, based on Cassandra.

She could not speak, but speaking wasn’t the only way of communication. She’ll teach Damian sign language- standard, as commanded- but also her own version. Yes, she could do it. It wouldn’t be hard.

She was a genius, after all, and creating languages wasn’t as hard as people seem to think.

——

Damian copied her, small fingers patting his hand four times.

She did it back to him. “I love you.” She tells him, with sounds and with motions.

He does it back, excitedly, because he had a secret with ukhti!

——

Sometimes, she dared not to touch Damian. She wants to ruffle his hair and give him hugs but the ichor on her hands reminds her to not get to greedy. She did not deserve it.

Not when her hands were stained with the lives of so many people.

——

Another mission.

She was twenty now, and not much closer to escaping her bonds. Though, once she hit her majority, Ra’s lost interest in her in that way. A blessing, even if she had to seduce his “business partners” into giving him better deals more often now.

She stops by Bludhaven. The Robin she watched so many years ago- six, by her count- had grown new wings and moved. She wanted to see if he could fly still.

He could. He flew as free- no, freer than his days as Robin.

She dipped away to complete her mission (nuclear weapon trading, really?) and swings back to see a spider trying to break the former Robin’s wings.

“No.” Nightwing whispered, staring upwards at the cloudy sky blankly. “Please, stop.”

She didn’t need to hear any more. She saw red, and dove feet first straight onto the spider’s head, knocking her out.

She picked up a near-catatonic Nightwing, and helped him to his apartment. She left Tarantula in the rain and felt zero guilt about it.

He changed mechanically, some kind of instinct keeping him from removing his domino, but it was a bit pointless considering she escorted him to his personal apartment.

She watched as Nightwing slipped into an exhausted sleep before leaving. She had a spider to squish, and traces to hide.

——

Dick wakes up, drained and exhausted. He… someone saved him.

He sees a scrawled note, handwriting impeccable enough to be a font, written with his pen. He picked it up from his table, and his eyes tiredly read the message.

“Don’t worry about Tarantula. Or your identity.”- A friend.

He remembered- the mask- the mask of the stranger that saved him vividly. He’d remember. And he’d thank them if they ever came back.

——

She was in charge of training assassins, these days. A year and a half later after Bludhaven, she was back in Nanda Parbat, and she’s devoured every magical tome she could get her hands on. They all say the same things.

Her assassins were trained well, and Ra’s praises her with more responsibilities as he followed the pit in his obsessions. Her mother began to splinter the group, not knowing that as Ra’s began his descent into madness, people looked towards her instead of Talia for leadership. They did not know that her unwavering presence by Ra’s side wasn’t voluntary but it is their true that she became his right hand out of pure skill. And flawless obedience, of course.

Then, someone new joins.

Someone with pit rage and empty eyes that goes rigid when she approaches.

Then again, most of the operatives freeze up when she walks towards them.

Her memories roar. A child.

He bowed, and her eyes followed the streak of white hair at the forefront of his skull.

She gestured at him to follow, and ignored the pitiful eyes the rest of the assassins gave to the kid- they act like her training was hard when she went easy on them (it was)- and led the kid towards the training rooms.

She knew who he was, even if her grandfather and mother didn’t think she knew.

Her… Bruce Wayne would probably appreciate his son being returned relatively sane.

But first, she had to beat the Pit out of him. Then, she could assign body guarding duties to him, in an attempt to protect him.

——

“Grandfather, I will take Damian’s punishment.”

“A whipping girl, granddaughter?” But he nodded anyways. He made Damian watch.

She kneeled and allowed the punishment. She couldn’t always protect him from Ra’s, but this she could do anytime. It’s not like she was unfamiliar with the torture. (The whip had barbs. Rusty. And they sprinkled salt.)

——

“I liked poetry….” Jason Todd tells her after a training session. “I think.”

“Sure. I’ll call you Grave, then.” Pain. But she was used to it.

He tilted his head, eyes going blank once more. She sighed. There went his memories again. (His eyes were blank and glazed. Like looking at someone you love and knowing they’re looking through you.)

——

“I would not trust her,” she says to the air, next to a Red Hood emerging from Talia al Ghul’s chambers. She could see it, the beginnings of Gotham’s new crime lord. But still, “Talia al Ghul is known for her lies.”

She pushed away from the wall. It was up to Grave if he listened. It was out of her hands now.

——

She’s twenty-five, and she’s helping Damian pack for his first meeting with Bruce Wayne.

“You must not tell him about me.” Because he’d come rushing here, and she had worked too hard to save Damian for her fool of a father to come and ruin all of that effort.

“I promise.” Her little brother said solemnly. Ukhti said it out loud, which meant it was important and she expected him to keep that promise.

The only other time he’d heard her speak was to tell him she loved him.

The reincarnation smiled and told him through their special sign language, to treat the current Robin with respect and to try his best to get the current Robin to pass down his title.

‘Robin is earned. They have different rules, over there. Try your best to learn those rules.’

Her brother was sheltered. She loved him, but he was spoilt and sheltered. Of course she was worried. Talia barely mothered him.

“I know. You do not have to remind me so often, ukhti.”

She smiled, and patted his head.

“Be safe,” she whispered. “I will miss you.”

Damian darted in for a hug. “Of course. Goodbye, sister. See you soon.”

She hoped not. It was hard enough to convince Ra’s that Damian would learn more under Bruce Wayne.

(She was locked in a small closet- like Cass- for about a week, because she brought up the idea first.)

——

She found it.

The answer to pit rage laid in an old, all but crumbling tome from Atlantis- answers “from a ghost.”

——

Bruce Wayne died. Months after Damian came to live with him. That- irritating- she sighed and worked with her mother to turn Ra’s al Ghul’s attention away from Gotham, lest he called Damian back in Bruce Wayne’s absence.

The little photographer caught grandfather’s attention. She stood vigil as he played chess with Ra’s. His interest in Damian wavered. Anticipation blurred in her veins.

She saved his friends. Her assassins. She let them go, telling them to wait for the little photographer’s plan. (Y’all miss girl had fucking bloody handprints on her pants like someone tried to grab it.)

The first few people who had an inking she might not be loyal to Ra’s… and it was them.

When her other assassins attacked Red Robin, she cut them down before they could touch him, helping him with a furious League of Spiders or whatever operative. She hated spiders.

“What…?”

“You’re a lot of trouble, little photographer.” She sighed. His jaw dropped.

“It’s you!”

“Go,” she cut him off. “Blow this place up. I left a surprise for you outside.”

——

“Owens?! Z?!” Tim trembled, exhaustion and shock and wonder hitting him at once.

“Heya, boss!” Z chirped. Owens helped Tim up while Z helped Tam. Pry walked around them, looking out for further threats. “The nightmare trainer let us go. She knew you, I think.”

Tim smiles, all shark teeth and zero hero. (In the background, the song zero to hero from Hercules 2, played in reverse.) “Tell me more.”

——

Damian grunted, bracing himself for the magical creature’s attack.

“Robin!” His father barked out, panicked. Damian hoped he’d survive-

Shhhlk!

He looked up and there stood his ukht. She bounded forwards, using the odd fauna of the magical plane to bolster her movements as she sliced the creatures apart with her swords, magic humming brightly as she cut through them… and the magicians attacking them.

“What- what are you doing here?” He asked. She greeted him, three fingers curled over her shoulder.

‘My question is,’ she signed. ‘Why were you here without a magical weapon.’

Damian sighed as father stepped in between them.

“Who are you.”

“Batman. Cease your excessive worry. I trust her with my life,” Damian snapped. He stepped around a shocked Batman, looked him in the eyes, and unsheathed his katana. He handed it over to his ukht, who took it with amusement.

‘See?’ His eyes seemed to say. Father tensed when his sister unsheathed her own blade and handed it to him.

‘Are you here for a specific reason?’ His sister signed to him.

“Uh, you gonna introduce us, little man?”

Damian sent the Flash a derisive look and ignored him.

“We’re looking for a magician. He set a squadron of demons loose into D.C. last night. He has a tower.” Damian added.

“Robin,” Father growled. “Who is this.” Damian shot him a look and turned back to his sister.

The reincarnation tilted her head. ‘Tower… it’ll have to be that way.’

“Could you take us there?” Damian asked. Truthfully, he could find the way himself. But he wanted more time around his ukht. She nodded and Damian straightened.

“I feel like we should be concerned that Robin’s friend just murdered a bunch of people.”

His sister glanced back and ignored them.

“Silence, incompetents. Speak another word against her, and Batman’s no killing rule will be applied creatively.” He hissed. (The fucking surroundings hissed with him y’all what the fuck)

He turned when his sister ruffled his hair (Superman muttered a super shocked “what the fuck.”) and Damian allowed it. He had missed his sister.

——

[httpsserene]

𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝟏 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝟑: 𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐩𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: your boyfriend has to make an appearance at some sponsor event. he's gone ahead and bought you an alluring outfit, but he failed to mention how seductive he looks in the new fitted suit his team got him. you two won't be staying long, but you increase the pace by riling him up, mostly unintentionally. so it's your fault that he makes you ruin his loaned mclaren. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. explicit. squirting. car sex. semi-public sex. ooc (out-of-character) oscar. overstimulation. mild possessive behavior. mild jealousy. vaginal fingering. vaginal sex. condom usage. the audacity of men. lando norris’ savior complex /jk. author’s overuse of italics and run-on sentences. 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 5k words 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: oscar piastri x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: oneshot. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: water • tyla

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: what can i say, y'all. back at it with the unhinged thirst. every time i do one of these, they've been getting shorter and shorter. don't be afraid, for #4 (dr/mv) i'll be back on my game, they deserve it. yes gremlin lando appearance. also, i cannot imagine oscar ever acting this way, that's why i put the ooc tag? it's definitely a fun read tho (i think), along with the smut! thank you, loves, for the support on this event!

want to be added to my general taglist? or my f1 kinktober taglist? send me an ask!

thank you to my betas! @biancathecool for helping with my grammer and @barnestatic for her wonderful spoiled brat idea :))))

cross-posted on my ao3, httpsss

if you want to look at what i'm planning for ktober, or catch up on previous uploads here's my f1 kinktober masterlist and my general masterlist for all of my works!

oscar is known for his unfazed, composed and collected demeanor. he’s aware that some people say he has no personality–but, he’s just an introvert at the end of the day. oscar’s a man of few words: that’s what people who aren’t well acquainted with him would say. if you’ve had the pleasure of sticking around oscar long enough for him to become comfortable with you, you’ll learn that oscar has an incredibly complex personality. he’s overly sarcastic, has a niche sense of humor, and can ramble endlessly at you. but, he’s still a fairly calm and quiet individual. which is why the way oscar is about to scream at the top of his lungs in the middle of this mclaren event, would be considered uncharacteristic of him.

he originally invited you to join him tonight thinking that having you by his side would eliminate the social exhaustion he experiences at these types of sponsor events. however, the aussie failed to realize that you may introduce a…different problem, to tonight’s business party. when oscar asked you to join him two weeks ago, he was prepared for all of your objections–you’re both chronic homebodies, and you both hate partaking in small talk with balding, later-aged, cologne-drenched, white men who don’t know when to let a conversation die. he chose the perfect time to ask you (after you emerged from the bathroom post-self-care bath), and addressed all of your grievances. 

oh, you don’t have anything to wear? he already bought you an outfit, had it altered to perfectly fit your measurements, and bought you a pair of heels and a purse to match. oh, you won’t be able to get your hair done in time? he already scheduled an appointment with your usual hairstylist the day before the event, paid all of her fees, and tipped her very nicely. oh, your nails aren’t done?  he booked you a spot at your preferred nail salon for a premium mani-pedi, and has a few nail inspiration photos picked out if you can’t decide. if you need your lashes done or need to get waxed, he can make the call right now; he has them on standby to fit you in.

knowing the amount of phone calls oscar had to partake in to arrange all of this causes you to fold and agree to join him. there’s nothing more the two of you hate than making phone calls–well, besides the pr events.

oscar had chosen an alluring burnt-orange mesh corset and matching ruched ankle-length skirt that looks beautiful against your warm, soft and shining brown skin. your hair is silk-pressed, length reaching your mid-back and your edges are laid in a minimal manner, matching the simplicity of your makeup look. simple gold rings are spread across a few fingers, ears accessorized with a pair of small good hoops oscar gifted you, and his initials rest in the dip between your clavicles attached to a thin gold chain. objectively, you're considerably modestly dressed, the only skin you're showing is on your arms, shoulders, a smidge of your decolletage, and the tops of your feet in the low-heeled strappy sandals. 

this is the start of what oscar failed to account for. he didn’t expect the outfit to hug your curves like plastic wrap. the whole night he’s had to forcefully deny himself the opportunity to stare at your ass, but that doesn’t mean the other men at the event have the same courtesy. he’s taken to burning holes with his eyes into anybody who lets their gaze linger over your form for a second too long. on a regular day, oscar is generally unaffected by anyone who appreciates your body (they can look, but the second they try to touch–you let them know exactly how they had you fucked up), but if he catches one more mclaren engineer undressing you with their eyes–he will make zac fire all of them; he’ll plan his own race strategy and do his goddamn pitstop by himself.

oscar also didn’t account for how your timid and sweet attitude would have everyone enamored with you; at first, watching everyone eagerly attune to your shy words was amusing to him, but it quickly became a nuisance. he was originally leading you around the room, doing his rounds at any important figures’ tables, and everything was fine. and then, oscar had made the obvious mistake of making you laugh–a pleasant stream of giggles spilling from your lips, dimples deepening, and smile widening at whatever small joke he made. he’s always thrilled to see how you throw your head back in amusement, how your hands clap together gleefully, and how your eyes squint in from the force of your laughter. as he shakes himself out of your dazzling trance, he attempts to rejoin the conversation–but every single person at the table remains entranced and wide-eyed at you. 

this would be completely fine, of course, if it was a one-off occasion; but it’s not. 

suddenly, every person oscar tries to thank for supporting mclaren, starts ignoring him and paying more attention to you. he’s literally the pilot of the car that these people are spending an absurd amount of money on, but they can’t even bother to try and pretend to listen to him. men and women alike are finding any excuse to prolong conversations with you, and even lean within your personal space with the excuse that ‘they can’t hear you very well because you’re so soft spoken.’ nobody can invade your personal space, but oscar. he has no choice but to do the very thing he hates–pda. you continue to circle around the room, his hand constantly resting on the small of your back or the dip of your waist. when you’re in the middle of listening to some completely unnecessary story a man is telling you, oscar constantly adjusts your hair, plays with your rings, and smooths down your skirt if he feels like they’re trying too hard. you banish oscar to getting you a glass of water when he begins to interject in conversations in a passive-aggressive manner.

his third strike off the night, might actually be an overall win in his books. when you saw oscar in his new fitted suit, you stared him dead in the eye and told him to ‘get naked and rail you’. it’s this beautiful deep cream color that pairs perfectly with the dark orange tone of your outfit, but the vest underneath the suit jacket highlights his tiny waist so clearly that it makes you want to scream. in between socializing, you overwhelm oscar with compliments, unable to stop telling him how handsome he looks. you surgically attach yourself to his side and hug his arm; taking an occasional squeeze of his bicep, playing with his cufflinks, and tracing the veins on the back of his hand. oscar practically runs to get you a refill of water because he’d be unable to stop himself from getting fully hard if you touched him any longer–the trousers hide nothing.

he can feel your burning gaze from across the room, and turns back to watch you after asking a waiter for water, and catches your eyes roaming the length of his body. in high-definition, he sees your tongue wetting your lips before you bite at your bottom lip–and then, your attention is stolen away from some random man who’s introducing himself to you and the group of ladies you found yourself accosted by as soon as oscar left your side.

and, that’s it for oscar. he thinks he may have heard his last-fucking-button being pressed inside his head, and seethes. he goes to push off from his leaned stance against the counter and makes to start his warpath, but a hand grasps at his shoulder. oscar turns around snappily, biting out an irritated and sarcastic, “can i help you?”

“woah! calm down now, mate. thought you were going to bite my head off for a second,” it’s lando, “if i were anybody else i’m sure there would be an unfortunate tabloid of ‘how oscar piastri is the most rude f1 driver on the grid’” lando jokes teasingly, yet a hint of seriousness leaks into his tone. 

oscar nods, understanding the underlying warning within the brit’s teasing. he apologizes softly to lando, before glancing back over at you, and can infer that you charmingly informed the man that you have a boyfriend—based on the way you point in his direction. oscar watches the polite smile fade from your face as the man continues to bother you, and the murderous look rises to his face again.

“OKAY”, lando claps abruptly, startling not only oscar, but everyone in a 10 foot radius. lando waves everyone else’s eyes away, smiling like he didn’t do anything, and speaks underneath his breath, “go. i’ll cover for you.”

oscar’s mouth drops open, baffled, “what?”

“leave—get your girlfriend and go,” lando says matter-of-factly, his smile becoming genuine, “zac probably won’t like to hear that you looked particularly murderous, and he definitely won’t like hearing that you slaughtered our sponsors, and that i let it happen.”

oscar snorts before he thanks lando sincerely, and the brit dismisses him, “i’m just looking out for my rookie teammate as the senior driver for our team. i can’t let your horny teenage mindset become common knowledge to our esteemed guests.”

“first of all,” oscar says dryly, his grateful mood dissipating at the mocking, “i didn’t even know you knew the word ‘esteemed' existed,” lando scoffs, “and secondly, you are literally only two years older than me.”

lando looks at oscar with a blank stare and deadpans, “do you want to leave or not?”

oscar daps up his teammate in farewell, and makes his way over to you as quickly as he can without seeming desperate, your glass of water left behind on the counter. your back is facing him as he approaches and you're still unwillingly participating in conversation with the man who can’t take no for an answer. as he gets closer, he can piece together the conversation; the dude doesn’t believe you have a boyfriend and you must be lying to him, and you’re adamant that your boyfriend is very real.

“look, bro. even if i was lying about having a boyfriend, why would i give you my number now? like, i’m just supposed to forget how you’ve been harassing me—“

oscar rests his hand on your side, and when you turn your head to see who’s touching you, he leans down and kisses you. it’s a kiss deep enough to let everyone know who you’re leaving with tonight, but not deep enough to be salacious (he can hear lando’s cackle from the other side of the room).

you melt into his kiss before he pulls away, leaving you dazed and disoriented, stumbling into him. oscar drapes his left arm around your shoulder, guiding you to tuck into his side, while he offers his right hand to the offending man for a handshake. “it seems i haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you yet. i’m oscar, i drive for mclaren,” he introduces himself, sounding overly pleased.

the man angers, ignoring oscar’s extended hand and cockily states, “you should already know who i am. my family nicely lent you the mclaren you drove here tonight!”

“ah,” oscar smiles viciously, “if ‘your family’ kindly lent me the car, that would explain why i only remember your father’s name–and not his arrogant, disrespectful, and narcissistic trust-fund son’s name.”

the man stomps his foot in rage, like a spoiled brat, and questions, “who do you think you’re talking too?!”

oscar smirks, “nobody important, apparently,” (one of the ladies listening whispers a quiet ‘damn, that’s crazy’), oscar continues, “don’t worry, mate–i’ll make sure your father’s car returns home to him safely. should i bill you for any cleaning, in case i make a mess of it?”

the guy stumbles over a response before he scoffs and stomps away. oscar shrugs uncaring, before addressing the group of ladies who were cliqued to the side watching the whole interaction, “well. if you all don’t mind, i’m just going to steal her away from you ladies, if that’s okay?” (like there’s an option). the ladies fawn over oscar’s protectiveness before they let the two of you go, and then he starts herding you towards the exit.

it’s torture. in every five steps the two of you take, you're interrupted by various guests trying to catch you one last time. oscar feels like they’re all intentionally aggravating him; patting you on the arm, commenting on how eye-catching you look, and using the fact that the two of you are leaving to press a kiss to your hand in goodbye. you two burst out of the main doors and sigh in relief, for different reasons–for you, it’s because oscar didn’t give one of his sponsors brain damage, and for oscar, it’s because he’s one step closer to getting you in his bed.

you grasp at oscar’s hand, and he starts to lead you down the steps towards the valet, and as you fall into step at his side, you speak softly under your breath, “i can understand why you kissed me like that inside because the dude was being an asshole–even though you were marking your territory like some kind of dog–but, please; don’t tear this poor man’s throat out for helping me into the car.”

the australian remains quiet, properly chastised and works on releasing the pent up effect of the annoyances from inside the venue. everything is going well; the valet asks oscar for his parking ticket, and he goes to grab the keys, but stops just before he makes to start heading to the car, and turns back to you two and says, “i don’t know if i told you when you walked in but–you look incredibly beautiful tonight, miss. you could be a model, seriously. like, you should feel so lucky to have a woman like her–”

all attempts of oscar finding his peace are thrown out of the window. he interrupts the dude’s rambling, and bites out, “hey man, y’know what. i can just take the keys to the car. we can walk to it.”

the valet stutters, confused, “a-are you sure, i mean it’s like pretty far in the back. i can run and get it no pro–”

“it’s FINE! i mean, it’s cool, we can use the extra steps, y’know. enjoy the breeze and everything,” oscar says, slightly maniacal. there’s no breeze, it’s warm. the valet’s and your eyes meet for a second and a shared thought of “he’s trippin” is passed telepathically.

the valet concedes, not wanting to upset the f1 driver any farther and tosses him the keys. as the two of you are passing by, oscar hands the man a bill that’s probably too big based on the man’s astonished gasp. you call out to the man, continuing to walk further in the lot, “sorry about him! he just gets a little touchy about strangers driving his car, y’know?” oscar grumbles lowly next to you, and you smack him on the arm, “what did you want me to say? ‘oh sorry, my boyfriend just wants to fuck me really badly to soothe his needless jealousy?’”

“as long as he knows who’s the one who gets to take you home and fuck you.”

“oscar!” you squeak, “we both know we’d die of embarrassment if you said that. i can’t even imagine those words coming out of your mouth, in that order.”

you guys eventually puzzle out where the car is after several remote beeps of the car’s horn, and find that it’s literally tucked away in the last row, far corner with no surrounding cars for two rows.

oscar doesn’t open your door like he usually does, and leads you around to the driver's side. he opens the door, pushes the seat back as far as it goes, and sits down. without saying anything, he loosens his tie and goes to unbuckle his belt before you reach down and grab at his hand, bewildered, “oscar jack! what the fuck are you doing?”

he blinks, “i’m fucking you, right now. it’s too long of a drive back—i’m going to crash the car if you keep sitting next to me in that goddamn outfit. i was going to take you to the bathroom inside, but i figured you’d at least prefer the car. you can be a little louder here.”

your mouth dries, “you said they loaned you an incredibly rare, vintage mclaren, babe. i’m not gonna-“

oscar wrestles his way out of his suit jacket, spreads it underneath him on the leather seat, and pats his lap. “problem solved.”

shifting your weight, you glance around nervously. oscar is right, you would prefer the car over the bathroom. all those people inside who could overhear, gossip, and spread the news of how rookie mclaren, f1 driver, oscar piastri, had you yelling his name in the middle of an event. you’d pass.

“oh, c’mon now, babe. you didn’t think i saw the way you were eating me alive with your eyes inside,” your boyfriend teases, “i know you‘ve at least gotten a little wet for me already, haven’t you?”

that’s all it takes; the australian acting possessive and feening to get inside you is more than enough to have you straddling his lap and pulling the car door shut with a slam.

oscar tugs you into dirty make out, and you get lost in his pink lips, tugging teeth, and explorative tongue. the last of your breath tapers out in a reedy moan, and you break the kiss to pant against his lips, and oscar laughs. his laughter spreads through your chest, and it has your hips rolling against the bulge you feel underneath you. his amusement is cut off, and his hands fly to grip at your hips. he starts tugging you against him in a filthy grind, and choked off moans from the two of you start to fill the car.

you press kisses to oscar’s jaw line, paving a path down to his wide strong neck with your tongue. you suck on small patches of skin, not using enough suction to leave a mark, but enough for oscar to become aware of the fantasization that you could. the aussie gasps at every random suckle of your lips as he scrambles to pull the skirt up your legs. you shift your hips up to make it easier for him, as your hands feel down his torso to his belt. it unbuckles fairly easily, and you shove it out of the way, to unzip the slacks and pull his cock out.

oscar moans, throwing his head back at the feel of your hand on his length, and you get entranced in the trap that his pale thick neck is, again. you hum against his neck, introducing teeth alongside the ache of the suction of your mouth, and bully the collar of his shirt out of the way to find a space to leave a few marks. oscar’s breath freezes at the first hickey he feels you leave, but the rapid inhale he takes next clears his mind enough to have his right hand pull your panties to the side, and move to caress your heat.

you shudder on top of him, your breathy sigh amplified within the car. oscar sinks two fingers inside of you, and a much louder moan is tugged out. your hands fly up to grasp onto his shoulder, and your head tilts backward away from his neck in pleasure. his fingers thrust into you gently for a few beats slowly working to open you up for him and once he feels your cunt starting to relax, his thumb reaches to press at your clit. whines fill the air, as you lean all the way back, resting your back on the steering wheel allowing oscar all the space he needs to stretch you out. his fingers start curling as they drag out of you, and you can feel the pads of his fingers rubbing over a soft spot on the front of your walls. 

oscar’s eyes were stuck marveling over the overwhelmed expression on your face, but once he starts feeling wetness dripping down his arm he glances down, and curses out a rough, “fuck, baby—you’re dripping all over me.” your cheeks burn hot, and you can’t tell if that’s out of humiliation or the effect of his awe-filled voice. your right hand releases his shoulder, and bats at his arm, before tugging at his wrist to pull his fingers out, “that’s enough, mmm, just get in me already.”

oscar eagerly draws away; he uses his clean hand to tug his wallet out of his back pocket, and tugs a condom out with a smidge of struggle before handing it to you. you snatch it out of his hand, biting it open and rolling it over his cock, and once it’s on, you tease, “jeez, osc. you really were planning on jumping me in the middle of the event tonight—grabbing a condom and everything; you think i’m that easy?”

he chuckles, satisfied, his hand drenched in your wetness rubbing over his cock to get him slick, and teases back, “you’re about to ride my cock in the parking lot of said event, pretending to be worried about ruining the seats of this vintage car. i’m not calling you easy, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared, does it?”

your cheeks are definitely burning from humiliation this time around, but you huff, ignoring him checking you. you tug his hand away, raising your hips, and guide him to your entrance with your own hand, before slowly sinking down. 

twin sets of moans fill the air as he bottoms out; one of his hands reaches to palm at your ass (it’s sticky, so it must be the one he fingered you with), and the other grips at your waist tightly. you squirm on top of him, knees barely managing to find enough room to prop on the seat to give you a stable base. once you feel stable in your cramped position, you give a testing grind of your hips, and from there, it’s lights out.

oscar lets you set the pace for a few thrusts, suffering in the languid rock of your hips; you’re torturously tight around him, and he can only groan at the feeling of you wrapped around him. his chest heaves, before he brings both hands to halt your hips, and starts fucking up into you rough and quick. a scream jostles out of your throat at the unexpected change of speed, but you just take it with no complaints, allowing yourself to go limp against the wheel of the car to hold your body upright. he moves your body for you, pulling you downwards to meet his upward thrusts; and you feel him constantly applying pressure against that one tender spot right under your navel.

your boyfriend revels in the sound of the moans he’s punching out of your throat, admiring the way your head is thrown back—mouth open wide, eyes scrunched tight, lips bruised and bitten to hell. it’s a lewd picture, painted by himself. the car rocks along to his frantic rhythm, windows fogging, and sweat begins to form on both of your skin. the aussie’s core tightens; he won’t last much longer, you’ve had him half-hard the whole night.

a frustrated grunt escapes oscar, and you hum questionably about to ask what’s wrong–but his right hand leaves your waist to furiously start circling your clit, and an ear piercing shriek leaves you. “c’mon now, babe. ah-be good and come f’me yeah? im so close, baby–please,” he babbles, the last shred of sanity leaving him. his hips don’t falter once–to you it feels like they’re moving quicker, every sensitive spot receiving attention from the sharp snaps of them.

you cry out, it’s all too much; your hand reaches down to press against his navel in a feeble attempt to stop him from stroking so deep and roughly, and incoherent pleads try and tumble out of your mouth, “mm! osc–no! ah–too much, baby! it’s too much–hngh–feels weird–s-slow down!” it’s like his ears are filled with cotton; he can hear you begging down at him but can’t make out what your saying over the blood rushing in his ears. he’s trapped staring at your pretty cunt, watching the obscene amount of wetness coming out of you–the suit jacket underneath him is completely ruined, and he off-handedly thinks it won’t be saving the leather upholstery.

your legs start quivering and trembling–it damn near looks like you're freezing to death, even though the car has become as humid as a sauna. your own orgasm shocks you, and your eyes roll back erotically–unable to give oscar any warning. and in your last moment of awareness, you realize that something feels different, but it’s too late.

you choke on your scream of, “oscar, fuck!” as fluid gushes out of your cunt, and the first wave is enough to completely drench oscar’s pants, and oscar finally returns to the moment in amazement. he eagerly brushes his hand against your clit, and shortens his strokes to quick little jabs to force more of your juices out, and you can only ride along. you try to slam your legs shut, to jostle oscar’s hand away, but it’s futile with his torso propping you open for him. you’re sobbing messily, as he forces more liquid to spray from your cunt–and he moans out his own orgasm, ripped from him in surprise. the australian halts his stimulation this time around when you frantically tug his wrist away when the pleasure melds to pain, and allows himself to get a few more jerks of his hips in.

you fall forward, collapsing into his chest–the squelch of your thighs meeting his pant-covered ones has him humming and grinding his hips into you as gently as he can. the two of you shake against each other, hearts rabbiting as you catch your breath. oscar’s hands rise to rub at your back, bringing you down from the aftershocks still trembling over your body. 

“i-i’ve never squirted before,” you whisper into his neck.

your boyfriend hums softly, “did you like it?”

he feels you nod against him shyly.

“then, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he comforts, knowing if he seems approving of it, you’ll be quicker to accept it as something good, “how i’m going to explain the ruined suit and car seat to mclaren on the other hand…”

a shaky laugh from you causes oscar to smile, “i told you you shouldn’t fuck me in the car.”

“how was i supposed to know that tonight would be the night i’d made you gush all over me?! i was hoping that when the time came we’d at least be on a couch,” he whines.

“shut the fuck up,” you joke, “i want a live play by play when you explain the cleaning bill to zac.”

the aussie pauses, faking thoughtfulness, “maybe i should send the bill to the trust-fund baby. zac would back me up–he’s american, he’d probably find it hilarious.”

oscar gently shifts you over to the passenger seat, and you tug your skirt all the way down, and he fights his way out of his slacks that stuck to his thighs with your wetness. he manages to wrangle them off and kicks them to the side of the car floor along with the soiled suit jacket, after fishing the keys out of them, sitting out in his boxers, and glances over to see you adjusting your appearance as best as you possibly can.

“you want a mcflurry?” the aussie offers.

“as long as we can get a fry with it,” you smile at the random shift in conversation, allowing him to hide his embarrassment.

oscar turns the keys in the ignition, and the engine rolls into life with a deep, vibrating hum. he catches your legs pressing together tightly, and you squirm at the purr of the engine under your seat.

“well,” oscar starts nonchalantly as he reverses out of the spot, “you have the time that it takes to get from the drive-through to the flat to finish eating–because as soon as we get home, i’m taking you to bed and learning how to make you squirt, consistently. i don’t care how long it takes, or how many orgasms you have–i’ll keep going ‘til you come dry, babe.”

taglist: @lorarri @soph1644 @jaydensluv @fanboyluvr @nissaimmortal @redgonerogue @hollie911 @saintwrld @buendiabebeta @butterfly-lover @lana-d3l-rey @dylan1721 @spicybagel14 @dhhdhsiavdhajj @miahgonzalez16 @jjaekin @dkbj14 @f1lover55 @f1lov3r @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @sweetpiccolo-blog @my-ylenia @zaynzierulez @reblog-princess

© httpsserene 2023

[tarotwithavi]

What do you need to know right now?

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

Masterlist

Paid services

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 🫶🏻💗

Pile 1

Is there something you should not be eating? I see that you use food as an escape or whenever you are sad, you eat something specific; this can be bad for your health, especially if it's popcorn, chocolate, or some kind of processed food. Try to eat mindfully and healthily. Pay attention to what you're consuming. If you want to, you can decorate your room with fairy lights because I see that it will help you a lot. Do not sit in complete darkness. Think of being alone as an opportunity to expand and grow. Don't be upset; you can utilize your time by doing things that will help you in the future. Your time is really precious, and you should not waste it.

Pile 2

Do not rush into conclusions and give your decisions some time. You are being told to wait until winter comes because there is something you are planning to do now, but it will be better to do it in winter. All your hard work is going to pay off, and you need to prepare yourself for the upcoming abundance. For that, you will need to release any mental blocks that you may have and know that you are capable of doing anything you want. There is a new beginning in something; some of you may be starting college this year. Your next chapter is going to be really beautiful. You are going to make a lot of connections and befriend people who actually want the best for you.

Pile 3

Be very honest and clear about what you want to attract in your life. Be really careful of what you wish for because some of you are not really considering what you want. You are being told to step forward without looking back. Let your past go, learn lessons from it, and use it as motivation rather than something to get upset over. Let yourself shine; do not dim your light for others because others want to get their light from you. Do not feel guilty for getting attention. You are meant to do great things in life. Why are you afraid of transformations? In my perspective, transformation is one of the most beautiful things. Yes, the process can be painful, but the result is always beautiful. Write down your wishes on a piece of paper and things you are grateful for on another piece of paper and read them out loud.

Pile 4

You need to go outside and have fun; you won't be a teenager forever. You need to see your current situation with crystal-clear clarity. Realize you're actually living the life you once dreamt of. Sometimes it's actually you who is holding yourself back from getting all the things that you want, and you need to recognize your unhealthy habits that are not helping you. Some of you may resonate with pile 2 or 3 too. You are being told to work on your intuition. Trust yourself, your emotions, and your instincts. Stop ignoring your feelings and start working on them.

[anniebeemine]

Hiiii i saw that the fic request is open????

May I request for a fluff with a little angst??

Maybe about the Reader is the type who always listens to their friends/dates but they never really listens to the reader when she talks about things? Bc they have different interest, and no one really bothers to learn more about the reader’s interests..

so the reader’s kind of insecure with starting a relationship with spencer since no one really care to learn about the real them before and afraid getting disappointed?

Or you can make your own ideas! Love your fics!!

Thnkyouuu!

oh this one felt a little soul bearing to write but almost in a therapeutic way.

You'd always been the kind of person who listened. It came naturally to you—friends, family, dates—they all knew they could come to you with their problems, their stories, their dreams. You were the one who nodded attentively, who remembered the little details, who asked the right questions. It felt good to be that person, to be relied upon. But over time, you began to notice something that chipped away at your confidence, bit by bit. While you listened to others, no one really listened to you. Conversations were often one-sided, revolving around their interests, their hobbies, their lives. When you tried to share something about yourself—your own passions, thoughts, or dreams—their eyes would glaze over, or they’d steer the conversation back to something they found more interesting.

It wasn’t that you had nothing to say. You had plenty, a lot, too much even. But it felt like no one wanted to hear it. So, slowly, you learned to keep those parts of yourself hidden. You stopped bringing up your interests, stopped trying to share your world with others. After all, why bother when no one seemed to care?

Then came Spencer. Meeting him felt different from the start. He had a curious mind, always asking questions, always eager to learn. But that difference, that potential for something deeper, was what scared you the most.

On your first date, you had set the precedent. The two of you had gone to a small, cozy café, the kind of place where the noise of the world seemed to fade into the background. Spencer had been nervous at first, fidgeting with the napkin in his lap, but once he found a topic he was comfortable with, the words started flowing.

He’d been talking about a book he was reading—a dense, complex work about the history of criminology. You watched him as he spoke, the way his eyes lit up when he got to a part that really interested him, the way his hands moved as if trying to pull the ideas from his mind into the air between you. You’d never met someone who could get so passionate about something so academic, and you found yourself captivated. But then, in the middle of his explanation, Spencer had suddenly stopped.

His face fell, and he sighed. “I’m sorry,” he had said, looking down at the table. “I’m rambling. I do that a lot. Most people don’t really listen when I get like this.”

His words had hit you harder than you’d expected. There was something so vulnerable in the way he admitted it, like he was used to being dismissed, just like you were. And in that moment, you realized something: you liked listening to him. You liked the way his mind worked, the way he could weave facts and ideas together into something fascinating. It didn’t feel like a chore, like it had with others. You wanted to hear more.

“I’m listening,” you’d told him softly, reaching out to touch his hand. “I want to hear what you have to say.”

Spencer had looked up at you then, surprised. It was as if he hadn’t expected anyone to actually care about what he had to say. But when he saw the sincerity in your eyes, a small smile had tugged at the corners of his mouth, and he’d continued, a little more confident this time.

Remembering that now, you felt a pang of guilt. Spencer had opened up to you, had shown you a side of himself that he didn’t often let others see. And yet, here you were, holding back, afraid that if you did the same, he might lose interest.

But the truth was, you’d always been the listener.

It was a role you’d grown accustomed to, one that felt safe. Opening up, letting someone in—that was new, and it terrified you. Still, if Spencer could take that leap of faith with you, maybe you owed it to him—and to yourself—to do the same.

You like Spencer—a lot. But every time you thought about taking the next step, about letting him in, those old insecurities flared up. What if he was like everyone else? What if he only liked the version of you that listened, not the one who had her own thoughts and passions? What if, once he really got to know you, he’d lose interest?

The thought of that kind of disappointment was almost too much to bear. You didn’t want to risk it. You didn’t want to put yourself out there, only to find that, once again, you weren’t enough.

But Spencer wasn’t the kind of person to let things slide. He noticed the way you hesitated, the way you held back. He noticed the way you’d quickly change the subject when the conversation veered toward you, and how you’d deflect with a question about him instead.

One evening, after a particularly quiet dinner, Spencer finally addressed it.

“Why do you do that?” he asked softly, his voice filled with that gentle concern you were coming to know so well.

“Do what?” you replied, though you knew exactly what he meant.

“Whenever I ask you about yourself, you always change the subject. It’s like you don’t want me to know you.”

His words hit a little too close to home, and you felt a lump form in your throat. You tried to shrug it off, tried to downplay it. “It’s nothing. I just... keep telling me about Nietzsche. I'm interested."

But Spencer didn’t let it go. He looked at you, really looked at you, and in that moment, it felt like the world had tilted just slightly off balance, like you were in a movie, and someone had gone off script. None of the characters knew what to do. You didn’t know what to do.

The silence stretched, the weight of it pressing down on you until something in you snapped. A dam broke, and suddenly, the words started spilling out.

“I’ve always been a listener,” you began, your voice trembling as you spoke. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the one who listens. My friends, my family, dates—they all come to me with their problems, their stories, their dreams, and I listen. I nod and I smile and I remember the little details. And it feels good to be that person, to be relied upon.”

You paused, trying to steady your breathing, but the words kept coming, a flood you couldn’t stop.

“But the thing is, no one ever really listens to me. They nod, they smile, but when I try to share something—anything—about myself, their eyes glaze over, or they steer the conversation back to them. It’s like my thoughts, my passions, my dreams don’t matter. So, I just stopped. I stopped trying to share because why bother when no one cares?”

Spencer opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off, your rant spilling out faster than you could control.

“Sometimes, I just want to talk, you know? About my day or about the cute little old man at the grocery store who asked me where the vanilla wafers were because he was making banana pudding for his granddaughter’s birthday. But no one ever listens to that kind of stuff. It’s always about them, always about their lives, and I just—I don’t know how to deal with that anymore.”

You finished with a huff, feeling the weight of your own words hanging in the air between you. The room felt too quiet, too still, and you didn’t know what to do next. You felt exposed, vulnerable, like you’d just laid out all your insecurities for him to see.

But Spencer didn’t flinch. He didn’t look away. Instead, he gently reached across the table and took your hand in his, his touch grounding you in the moment.

“You don’t ever have to ask me to listen to you,” he said softly, his voice steady and sure. “I just will.”

He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles. “And now I have to know—do I have competition? Should I be worried about this vanilla wafer gentleman?” he added with a small smirk, his eyes sparkling with a playful warmth.

Despite everything, you couldn’t help but smile. Spencer always had a way of making you feel seen, even when you tried to hide, even when you tried to shrink into the background, afraid to take up space. There was something in the way he looked at you—not with pity or impatience, but with genuine interest and understanding—that made you feel like your words, your thoughts, your very presence mattered.

For so long, you had convinced yourself that you were destined to play the role of the listener, the one who supported others but never asked for anything in return. It was easier that way, safer. You wouldn’t have to face the disappointment of being ignored or dismissed. But Spencer had gently, almost imperceptibly, been pulling you out of that shadow, urging you to step into the light and share the parts of yourself you’d kept hidden for so long.

His question, playful as it was, carried a deeper meaning. It wasn’t just about the little old man at the grocery store or the vanilla wafers; it was about Spencer’s desire to know you—the real you, beyond the surface, beyond the polite conversations and deflections. It was about his willingness to listen to the stories that no one else had ever bothered to hear.

The realization settled over you like a warm blanket, comforting and unfamiliar all at once. It felt strange to be on the receiving end of such attention, to have someone care enough to notice when you were holding back, and to push gently, but firmly, for you to let them in.

You looked at Spencer, his hand still holding yours, and you saw something in his eyes that made your heart swell—a quiet determination, a promise that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he would be there, listening, no matter what.

The smile on your face widened as you shook your head, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “No, you don’t have any competition,” you replied, the tension in your chest slowly melting away. “Though you might have to fight him for the last box of vanilla wafers if he gets there before me.”

Spencer chuckled, the sound light and easy, and you felt a weight lift off your shoulders, a burden you hadn’t fully realized you were carrying. The room seemed a little brighter, the air a little lighter, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could breathe.

“I like hearing about your day,” Spencer said after a moment, his tone more serious now. “I want to know what makes you happy, what frustrates you, what you think about when you’re lying awake at night. I want to know all the little things that make you, you.”

His words wrapped around you like a protective cocoon, shielding you from the doubts and insecurities that had plagued you for so long. There was no rush, no pressure—just a gentle invitation to share, to open up, to let him in.

You squeezed his hand, feeling a swell of emotion that you struggled to put into words. “Thank you,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that.”

Spencer’s expression softened, and he leaned in a little closer, his thumb still tracing patterns on the back of your hand. “You’re not just someone who listens, you’re someone worth listening to. And I want to hear everything you have to say.”

In that moment, you knew that this was different. Spencer was different. He wasn’t just someone who would talk at you or fill the silence with his own thoughts. He was someone who genuinely cared, who wanted to know you in all the ways that mattered. And maybe, just maybe, you could let yourself believe that this was something real, something worth holding onto.

“Okay,” you whispered, your voice steady now, filled with a newfound confidence. “I’ll try to be better about sharing, about letting you in.”

Spencer smiled, a soft, reassuring smile that made your heart flutter. “There’s no rush. We’ll figure it out together.”

And as you sat there, hand in hand, you realized that you weren’t alone anymore. For the first time, you had someone who wanted to listen, who wanted to know you, all of you. And that, more than anything, was a gift you never knew you needed.

[yanderes-galore]

May I ask for a Daemon Targaryen concept from A Song Of Ice And Fire?

Daemon is certainly... terrifying as a yandere, actually-

Yandere! Daemon Targaryen Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Flirtation/Implied unwanted advances, Possessive behavior, Controlling behavior, Violence, Murder, Blood, Threats, Isolation, Mature themes, Mentions of bedding, Toxic behavior, Forced marriage, Biting/Marking, Forced relationship.

Daemon is arrogant, a prince uncontrolled and demanding of approval.

He's known for seducing those that capture his interest.

Out of most of the ASOIAF yanderes, I assume Daemon is among the worst.

He's persistent, demanding, and controlling.

He wants power as much as he wants approval.

He has a twisted form of love towards those close to him and isn't afraid to do immoral acts to get what he wants.

Need I remind you Daemon had his original wife killed as he didn't like her?

I imagine Daemon would trail behind his obsession like a shadow if they caught his interest.

It's nearly impossible to get rid of him.

Plus, Daemon has one of the fiercest dragons at his disposal, Caraxes.

The Rogue Prince is described as charming yet dangerous.

He is quick to take offense and hates others wounding his ego.

Which means if you refuse him, he tries harder.

Daemon is used to people finding him attractive.

He could take anyone he wants to his bed.

Except you.

You refusing his interest... would no doubt wound him and his pride.

Daemon definitely likes what he can't have.

He's someone who has learned he has to fight for the attention he deserves.

In fact, it's canon he cherishes the approval of his brother Viserys.

He hates being neglected.

He hates being controlled.

I'd imagine Daemon's courting is not only persistent, but violent.

Daemon would fight in tourneys for you, find you gifts, anything to impress you.

Daemon originally saw seducing you as a challenge, yet another little conquest to add to his belt.

But over time I can see Daemon... crave your presence.

A way I think a yandere Daemon could start is certainly with someone who doesn't immediately give in to him.

At first he's obsessed with the challenge, but soon realizes he can't bring himself to stay away.

Daemon can't even distract himself with other partners.

Brothels don't have much appeal anymore, maids offering themselves to him just makes him irritated.

He wonders if he can't part from you due to his ego at first.

He can't admit that you won this little game of his.

In reality, he's obsessed with you.

He craves your praise, your attention, your approval.

He no longer wishes to seduce you and be done with it.

Now he feels he needs you... all of you.

It's not just about bedding or pleasure now...

He feels no one else can satisfy him but you.

By this point... he'll do anything for you.

Just so he can get that approval he craves, even if it harms his ego.

Daemon is known to quickly take to violence.

With you it's rare, thankfully.

To others? Well... it's certainly more common.

Daemon wouldn't want anyone else courting you once he has his eyes on you.

Daemon pays close attention to those around you.

Servants, knights, lords....

The moment he sees someone court you, he's quick to stop it.

He may simply step in the way, perhaps even threaten them in a low tone as he grips his sword.

I wouldn't put killing other suitors past him.

He may excuse it as a "duel gone wrong", even though the reason his sword is dripping blood is because he played unfair.

Daemon's selfish, he doesn't care about your freedom.

In the end he ultimately wants you as his.

He even turns down other proposals for a betrothed, his gaze fixed on you.

After all, he's willing to go beyond immoral to have you.

He'll spill the blood of countless others if it means locking you into a marriage with him.

You could have a betrothed, or merely a secret lover, Daemon will find out.

Is it really that much of a surprise to learn he's killed them?

The scene is no doubt grotesque, his blade deep inside their flesh as their blood pools on the ground.

Surely you'll see just how serious he is, yes?

Which means... you should know what your answer is when he asks you to marry him, right?

Obviously, Daemon is possessive.

Possessive to the point he'd paint the streets red without even needing Caraxes to make you his.

You, as his beloved, can only resist his need for so long.

It feels fantastic when he marries you, a traditional Targaryen wedding.

By the end of it he knows you're his.

No one can touch you without expected consequences.

Touching what belongs to Daemon is the same as disrespecting him.

He never wants you far from him, keeping you by his side with a hand around your waist.

Any who insult you are met with their tongue taken... in the literal sense.

It's hard to calculate how many would fall to Daemon's blade over you.

The blood means nothing to them.

In fact, their corpses help feed his steed Caraxes, the blood wyrm even seeming to appreciate your presence.

Daemon doesn't understand why you bother mourning.

He's making a point, he's showing you're his.

You're his to possess.

You could try to flee, you could try to hide, Daemon knows you're his even if you don't.

Why bother looking so upset...?

Daemon showers you in affection and gifts, anything to earn the approval he craves.

He wants you to feed his ego, to tell him you love him.

He wants you to kiss him as he holds you in his lap.

He wants you to squirm when he digs his teeth into your neck.

You should be happy he's so dedicated.

He's even had his previous lovers killed to show you he's focused on you.

Is that what you wanted?

Do you crave his dedication?

If that will make you his... then he'll do anything.

To Daemon, he takes his House's saying seriously.

Daemon would spread 'Fire and Blood' if it meant you'd be his alone.

You'd be mistaken if you still thought he did all this just to bed you.

No, Now Daemon has truly given into his obsession... He only wants you...

No matter how many have to burn or be cut down... you'll always be his.

[h2llish]

【╰ヾ❝ COWARD ✧„

FLOYD LEECH ━━━ eels are cowards ♡ fluff, pining, fuck ooc i listen to no one (respectfully), reader is male but he gets called pretty, lowercase intended

fem aligned dni (she/they, she/her, etc)

eels are cowards. not many knew this, however, and if they did, they believed it couldn't possibly apply to the leech twins.

those two couldn't possibly be scared of anything.

but how wrong they all were. because they failed to realize that cowardice is a completely different light compared to the intimidation, they placed the twins into.

floyd leech was intimidating, towering over most people and always flashing his sharp teeth in a wide grin that quickly made anyone facing him question their next course of action. floyd leech was intimidating, usually sent out with his brother to find anyone who had yet to pay their dues to their good friend Azul. floyd leech was intimidating, pulling others into a tight grip that had them swearing that they could hear the way their ribs snapped, and their heart squeezed under the force.

floyd leech was intimidating. but he was also a coward.

a coward when it came to the boy taking residence in the old dorm on campus. the boy usually found running errands for a negligent headmage or bailing their cat-monster and the heartslabyul duo out of trouble. a coward when it came to the only person who didn't stray away from him because he was intimidating.

you were no coward; he realized that the moment you walked into Octavinelle and struck a deal with Azul to get back your idiots. and when you faced your third overblot with a sigh, complaining about mentally unstable idiots who can't handle their emotions (your words), before reluctantly addressing the ink that had taken over his housewarden. you certainly were no coward.

he liked that about you; of course, he liked a lot of things about you. if you asked jade or azul, they'd tell you all about how floyd talked about you and only you. ━ how you were the prettiest boy he'd ever seen. how you always let him squeeze you. how you never batted an eye when you found him threatening another student. how you said hi to him that morning just before you were dragged away by a hungry Grim. and did he mention pretty? because you're so pretty.

but of course, you remained unaware because floyd could never tell you. he was too much of a coward after all.

but that's okay, because you weren't.

"prefect?"

"hey, jade." you greeted the twin, hands stuffed into the old pockets of your hand-me-down uniform as you entered the mostro lounge. you split away from the line entering the on-campus business to stand in front of the leech. "is floyd here?"

jade raised a questioning brow, but you only met his eyes with a tilt of your head. it was unusual for you to come seeking floyd out, much less at the mostro lounge. although that mostly had to do with how busy you always were, keeping your friends and only dormmate out of trouble and always running the errands crowley decided to dump on you. when you could, you did visit, even if only for a mere minute before you were being dragged off again. because of that, it was usually floyd who went in search for you; and he never tires from the chase, jade notes.

"he is, but i'm afraid he's working the kitchen today."

you frowned, "that's too bad, i really wanted to see him."

floyd would be ecstatic to hear that. jade can already hear the rant he'd likely be at the end of if floyd were to learn you'd said that. ━━ "he wanted to see me!"

"may i ask where you friends are? they're usually not far behind." jade smiled his customer smile.

"oh!" you sighed, scratching the tip of your nose and looking almost sheepish when you continued, "i'm hiding, actually."

"oh?" jade chuckled, "is that so?"

you sighed again, "i needed a break, and i missed floyd."

oh, this just kept getting better.

"i'm sure floyd would be happy to hear that."

"do you think, if you get the chance, you can tell him i'm here?" you asked, "i want to at least say hello just in case my friends find me."

jade's sharp teeth were on display as he grinned at you, a little unsettling for you to witness. you were used to floyd's menacing smiles, but jade's were far more unsettling and eerie. or maybe that's just your bias talking. either way, his smile was starting to spook you. "i think i'll just go get him for you." he offered. you expected something totally different to be said by the way he was grinning at you. (what, though? you're not sure).

you shook your head, "are you sure? "

"of course."

"isn't he busy?"

"someone else can cover for him in the meantime."

"won't azul be upset?"

"he'll learn to live with it."

you pursed your lips and stared at the leech, still grinning widely at you. he was quick to shut down your questions, maybe a bit too quick. he always was the harder twin to read, but then again, just this once, you think you understand what he's doing.

"okay, if you're sure."

a chuckle but no response as jade turned away and began towards the bar. you blinked, but followed him, only stopping when you reached the bar and he disappeared into the back.

you waited for a bit before the moody leech twin dragged himself out of the kitchen. when he seen you, his mood quickly changed, his face lighting up as he called your name excitedly. you smiled, standing from the barstool you had taken a seat in. floyd was quick to scoop you into his arms, as he always does when he sees you, squeezing you into a tight hug that you tried to return by placing your hands on his shoulders.

"hey, floyd." you laughed.

"shrimpy! what are you doing here?" floyd asked you, refusing to place you down. you hardly bat an eye, used to being squeezed by the twin.

"i wanted to come to see you!" you answered with a smile aimed down at the boy, and floyd was reminded of how much of a coward he was, as he stared up at you. "and i'm trying to hide from the others. want to hide with me?"

floyd finally placed you down, eyes wide with unnoticed adoration and his signature sharp-toothed grin. he giggled, "you bet!"

that's when jade finally came back after he went to fetch his brother, glancing at the giddy floyd. he found it amusing how quickly his brother became so animated when you were around. of course, the way you acted around his brother only proved to him how much those feelings were returned.

"i'd offer to hide at ramshackle but they'd definitely find us there." you sighed, completely ignoring the other twin as if you hadn't noticed him at all (and he's quite sure you didn't), crossing your arms and tapping a finger on your chin, "they'd also eventually think to look here."

that's when jade decided he wanted to be helpful (but floyd knows his brother and he knows he was probably just trying to set him up for failure.)

"why don't you and floyd hide in our room?"

floyd is a coward. because even now, after the push from his brother to make the first move by offering their shared room to hide in, he still refused to do anything. even as you flopped down on his bed and jokingly complained about how messy his side of the room was compared to jade's, he still chose to run away from his feelings.

you turned onto your stomach and grabbed one of the pillows he had tossed around in his sleep. you got comfortable on his bed, eyeing the mess of his dorm side and the neatness of jade's side, giggling, "i think you might be messier than grim."

floyd grumbled something you didn't quite hear as he pushed off the clothes hanging off the side of his bed and climbed in beside you. you scooted over a bit so he could get comfortable, smiling at him when he turned his head to you, remaining oblivious to his cowardly heart beating a bit too quickly for his approval. he's always chose to deny his feelings, being the coward he is, he didn't want to accept them. but he's never wanted to run away from you; but right now, that's all he wanted to do ━ is it possible for a boy to be this pretty? it should be illegal. he's too much of a coward to be able to handle this.

your smile had been noticeable since you first seen him, even as you asked, "so how was your day?"

watching you smile at him made him think of a conversation he heard with the first years you always hung out with. he was looking for you when he overheard you and your friends.

crabby had whined something about you never actually smiling, "come on, prefect you're so cold. you could at least try to give us a real smile, ya know?"

"no idea what you're talking about." you sighed.

"yeah right," ace rolled his eyes, "you only ever really smile at grim or━"

"he who shall not be named!" epel interrupted, eyeing the space around them, as if something was going to pop out. and he probably was because his face fell as floyd soon decided to announce his presence, yelling for you. it seemed no one realized he had eavesdropped, except maybe that wolf who only raised his brows at him and shook his head. what?

floyd sighed loudly, exaggerated, "it was good! but then azul had to go and ruin it!"

you hummed, "he did?"

"yeah! he was all upset since i haven't been working my whole shifts or something like that. and━"

you listened as he ranted to you about azul getting upset with him because he kept ditching his shifts completely or halfway through (to be with you. like right now). and how jade just sat there, enjoying watching him get scolded like it was his entertainment alone for the day. and then azul told him he was going to be on strict watch by jade (though it didn't seem as strict now). and then floyd was working his shift before you got there when he and this savanaclaw student almost got into it, but jade had broken it up, and azul grounded him to the kitchen, saying that's where he'd work the rest of shift.

"but it wasn't my fault! he started it!"

"i'm sure he did." you agreed.

"but then you showed up, shrimpy!" he grinned, flashing his endearingly sharp teeth as he turned his head to look at you.

you returned the smile, shifting in your spot to lay on your side with one hand under the pillow while the other went up to ruffle his hair. floyd blinked owlishly at you, smile faltering; you really weren't intimidated by him if you were able to do that without having to think on it too long. oh, the poor coward's heart.

"you're so cute floyd."

you retracted your hand and floyd pouted. you hummed, shutting your eyes and resting your hand back on the bed. your words are unfair, he thinks, because you're far cuter.

"hey floyd?" you called, eyes remaining closed. floyd hummed as he continued to stare at your face, peaceful even in his presence. laying like this would be unsettling for others, although he'd never let anyone else this close in the first place. "what would you do if i kissed you?"

━coward.

floyd blinked, and you peeked an eye open to look at him when you gained no response. you eventually opened the other and sighed, pushing yourself up into a sitting position and crossing your legs, "my bad, that wasn't a very good confession." you leaned forward a bit and smiled warmly, "i really like you, floyd."

eels are cowards. but when they have to, they will come out of their burrows to face their opponents; sometimes the opponent just has to take the first move.

floyd's face lit up with a wide grin, a 180 to his cowardly heart now full of joy at hearing your words as he quickly lunged forward, burying his face into your abdomen and causing you to quickly place a hand behind you for support. he giggled into your uniform, and you shook your head, smiling down at him as you raised a hand to pet his hair.

"awe shrimpy likes me!" he muffled into the fabric, but you heard it clearly. he was giggling so much into your clothes, enjoying your hand running through his hair as he lifted his head to finally look at you. "i really like you too, [name]!"

you grinned at him, "good. jade wasn't lying to me." floyd rested his chin on your stomach as he stared at you, tilting his head at the mention of his brother. and you answered his unasked question, "he visited me a few days ago and said that you liked me, but then he said eels are known to be cowards so i would probably have to make the first move."

floyd pouted; it was true, but jade didn't have to say it. he grumbled, tightening his arms around your waist, "stupid jade."

you chuckled, "i have to thank him though, i probably wouldn't have confessed if not for him. this is actually part of why i had to sneak away from the others or else i'd never have the privacy i needed to tell you."

floyd stared at you as you explained the way you managed to escape your friends while ace and deuce had started bickering, which eventually led to sebek and grim coming to add to the mess, allowing you to slip away with only epel and jack aware. they actively helped with epel keeping the argument going so no one else noticed, and jack provided you cover with how tall he was. if not for them you're sure you would've been caught before you even made it to the mirror chamber.

when you quiet, floyd called up to you, "hey [name]?"

"yeah?" you hummed, tucking some of his hair away from his face. he still had yet to release his arms around your waist and you're pretty sure he had no intention of doing so any time soon.

"you said you wanted to kiss me, yeah? you did, i heard you." he looked excited at remembering your first attempt at a confession, words a bit fast, exactly as you know them to be when he got really excited.

you let out a quiet ah, before laughing quite loudly. everyone at night raven college knew that you weren't exactly the expressive type; you never laughed that loud. at least, not with anyone but floyd (and maybe the monster you called your kid). you eventually calmed down, only letting out the occasional breathy giggle, mumbling something about the eel being so cute; the same eel who was staring at you with bright eyes. (his shrimpy was the prettiest boy he's ever known.)

"yeah, i did." you tilted your head at him, smile seeming to grow when you asked, "do you want me to kiss you floyd?" at the excited nod you received from him, you laughed again, watching the leech finally release his grip around your waist to sit up and lean closer to you. your hand rested on his shoulder while the other continued to keep you supported from behind.

although eels aren't always cowards after they confront their opponent ━ it would seem floyd is too cowardly to close the gap despite how excited he was.

but he remembers that you're no coward when you close the little distance left, (pulling him into a kiss that definitely lasted longer than you intended).

when you went to pull away, floyd quickly followed. cowardice forming into want as he placed a hand on the nape of your neck to pull you closer while his other hand supported his own weight, so he didn't crush you with how he was practically leaning over you now. you laughed into the kiss, to which floyd smiled.

eventually, you placed a hand on his chest and leaned further away, taking in a deep breath and keeping floyd from chasing after your lips. (he could easily win in strength but he remembered that you need to breath.)

you laughed, maybe a little out of breath while you did, but you brushed that off in favor of scolding him, "that is not what i meant." but the smile on your face told him there was no actual heat behind your words.

"shrimpy." he whined and pouted, "but you're so fun to kiss, please?"

you rolled your eyes, refusing to give him what he wanted as you instead asked, "are you free tomorrow?"

"for you." floyd answered quickly, and you narrowed your eyes, saying his name in warning, but he quickly rebutted, "it's fine! jade can cover for me!"

"floyd." you sighed and shook your head, "fine."

you smiled at the leech, straightening out now that floyd had leaned back and sat properly on his bed, "let's go on a date and then i'll give you another kiss."

floyd lit up, grinning widely, "but you're still gonna kiss me again now, right? right?"

you sighed and shook your head. but you relented, deciding he was too cute to deny. "alright, alright, c'mere." you grabbed the back of his head, fingers in his hair as you pulled him toward you. floyd quickly met you halfway, melting into the kiss, as one of his hands rested on the bed beside you and the other on your knee.

floyd doesn't think there's cowardice left in him now that you're his (or well, will be ━ he'll make sure of it after the first date.)

eels are cowards, but they eventually come out of their burrows to face whoever lies outside. and for floyd, that was his feelings for you.

bonus;

"prefect━"

"floyd━

"what the fuck?!"

the two of you separated as the door swung open. floyd glared at your visitors while you only blankly eyed the cause for yelling, completely unfazed.

grim and the rest of your friends were wide eyed and frozen in the doorway. they were all well aware of your feelings towards the leech, but they probably didn't expect to discover the both of you making out in the twin's bedroom. except maybe epel and jack, the former giving you an encouraging grin and double thumbs up while jack only sent a single nod your way.

and behind them, a not-so-happy azul and a grinning jade.

"i tried to stop them." jade said.

"how could you do this to us?!" ace yelled dramatically.

you snorted in confusion and yelled in return, "the fuck are you talking about?!"

he didn't answer you; "we don't approve! right, guys?" ace pointed his nose up in the air, fully expecting to hear a chorus of agreements from the rest of your friends. when he heard nothing, he turned to them with a glare of betrayal. "guys?"

deuce shrugged and scratched the back of his head, "well if he's happy, i don't see anything wrong with it."

ace grumbled something towards his dormmate before turning to the others for their answers.

"it's none of my business. leave him alone." jack rolled his eyes.

"jack and i knew he was going to confess! of course we approve!" epel added.

"the prefect's love life has nothing to do with our own opinion! he is allowed to seek out anyone he pleases!" sebek huffed, mumbling something like "even if it is leech".

"you guys all suck." ace hissed, turning to the cat-look-alike looking between you and floyd with narrowed eyes. "come on, grim! you agree, right?"

grim didn't answer for a moment, but when he did, it was to completely ignore ace's question and address a different matter entirely. he pointed at you in accusation and huffed, "you owe me tuna for ditchin' me like that!"

you blinked, and then sighed, "aye, aye."

floyd was still glaring at the interruptions, though his glare was now aimed mostly at ace. "hey, crabby, you got a problem with me?"

the heartslabyul freshmen tensed, chucking awkwardly as he looked anywhere but at the menacing leech. "do you guys hear that, that sounds like riddle. gotta run!" and then ace was gone, and soon enough, so were the others.

azul and jade remained; the housewarden looked ready to say something, but then decided for a shake of his head. he turned away from the two of you, but not before floyd decided to yell after him his plans for tomorrow and how he won't be working his shift, again.

it's safe to say he got a long scolding after your date the next day.

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[moineauz]

જ⁀ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 are you to 𝐌𝐄 ?

To Blade, you were the sun stretching over a vibrant pasture of may flowers that broke like the golden yolk of an egg.

To Blade, you were the twirling winds of summertime as your smile emulated the very warmth of the sun and a dash of charming playfulness which never once failed to lighten the strain of burdens. Naturally flowing away like a stream of water or a feather in the wind.

To Blade, your patience was as steadfast and serene as a lake in still waters, the moon dancing overhead while you planted stars on his scars through tender kisses he did not deserve. Boundless and ever so infinite like your soul.

To Blade, you were both an instrument and it’s player: a sweet melody that echoed in his ears every daunting moment when the whispers of the past clouded his mind. Spotlight gracing your skin as the tunes of a forgotten tenderness swirled up into the air like the steam of tea rising from a cup. Thus, no matter his efforts or restraint, Blade kept finding himself at your front door, and thus, in your arms. Time and time again.

To Blade, each step you graced the ground with brought forth life: a child’s laughter, an old woman’s smile, the scent of honeysuckles. That was all your doing.

And Blade, was forever a shadow of destruction that was doomed to a life as devoid and blank as a starless night. Nevertheless, you were the stars. You littered yourself in his life; setting a subtle twinkle in the abyssal night of his being despite his lifeless form.

You were made of cosmic dust, maple wood and all the collective dreams of the universe. And Blade, who was undone bit by bit, followed you like a shadow looming behind in longing.

It had been so long since another soul touched him without underlying motives. He feared that.

Why did you harbour him in your house absent of fear? Why did your persistence invoke warm sensations? Why did your eyes unfailingly meet his?

Blade was keen on understanding you, yet, he gradually realized there was simply nothing to understand. Truth rolled of your tongue with ease and as for Blade, it got stuck in his throat, dying off. Yes, you were far from perfect, nevertheless, you carried yourself despite every thorn pricking your skin. Carving your way through each cavern; leaving subtle traces of discovery for him to follow.

The feeling swelled in his chest like a disease— and it terrified him. And yet, he could not put a name to it. A name to how his eyes lingered a touch longer than they should or how you rubbed his back. (And for the first time, he did not flinch at your touch or grab you by the arm.)

Thus, when the Astral Express offered you the chance to become a passenger, Blade clenched his fist and held his breath.

It was no wonder they asked you. After all, you were the polar opposite of what a Stellaron Hunter should be. You were amiable, mindful, calm, merciful yet seemingly lighthearted like a child.

Blade told himself that he dared not involve himself. You were a person of your own free will. Thus, you would deal with the consequences. There was no regard for him.

Nevertheless, the urge to tear you away from the conversation thrummed through his vile veins.

However, your reply would be forever ingrained in his sullen memory for the rest of eternity.

"I am honoured that you would consider me Mr. Yang," you articulate kindly, a smile reaching your lips, "But, I'm afraid I must decline."

"Oh? How so?"

You emit a silky chuckle, "If you asked me three years ago, I would have readily agreed," you pause then continue with vibrant eyes, "But, there are people I care for with my own life. It would be my biggest regret to leave them."

Until Blade can learn to fathom the extent of his own emotions, he will continue to linger beside you like a phantom or a shadow. Subconsciously yearning to nestle himself in your warmth, yet, always going through, a mere ghost of an absent lover in your presence.

masterlist

more angst :0 i think most of my blog will be angst lmao. btw this was originally posted on my other account @/mignonne02. i just took it down there. thank you for all the support! it makes me really excited to write more >> (please request btw) especially on my last post (diluc angst for life)

[thesensteawitch]

MESSAGE FROM YOUR HIGHER SELF 🍀💫

Pick A Pile Reading

(Left To Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls! 🩷

I am back with another collective reading! Take a deep breath and pick a pile intuitively.

In case you wish to book a personal tarot reading with me feel free to DM me on Tumblr.

I am sharing the links to my rate card and booking form below:

🌷 Rate Card

🌷 Booking Form

Here is your reading:

Pile 1

Hello, my beautiful pile 1. Your cards came out in pairs. What I felt instantly was that your higher self is talking about two paths. So I thought maybe you've got two paths in front of you, and the one you choose will define who you become. But reading more into the cards, I realized that one path leads you to your future and the other to your past. So take how it resonates for you, pile 1. For the very first time, it seems you're seeing someone in a totally different light. You're surprised. How could you overlook this person's great qualities? Your higher self is asking you to heal the past by being loving toward yourself and toward someone else. Your past is not holding you back at all, you are. So to move forward, you must learn to handle your emotions. Perhaps that was your lesson that you needed to learn from the path of the past. It seems that you've done enough for the people around you. It's time you start doing things for yourself. You were so attached to being a good friend, son/daughter, father, mother, or partner that you forgot yourself in the process. Your higher self wants you to release the past with love and forgiveness.

Now moving toward the second path, which is toward your future, I see that some people are coming in the way. This is what your higher self wants to say to you: “My love, it's time that we start pursuing our dreams. It's time to search for our inner artist. Create something of your own. You may think what you want may be impossible, but I am asking you to believe in the impossible. This full moon shows your first artwork to the world. Don't dim your light. You have all the things you need to get started. With one strech of a hand, you can grab a star. Trust me, it just seems worlds apart, but truly it's not. Ask yourself: What are you afraid of? Where does your resistance come from? Someone has always been there for you, supports you, and is rooting for you. They too are transitioning with you. They are practically rowing the boat. And if you can't think of anyone, then know that the universe is rowing your boat. You've got your loved ones with you. SHOW THE WORLD THE REAL YOU. “The Hymn Of The Weekend” is your channeled song. The moment you launch your project, you will enter a new chapter of your life! Hunt down your fears and desires before the next full moon. And show everybody your talent.” If someone here wants to use a stage name, spirit is saying you're free to do so unless you're ready to reveal the artist behind the art.

Pile 2

Hello, my beautiful pile 2. Your higher self is sending you so much love right now. You needed that pain to have a perspective shift. The cards are so blue. I feel those who chose this pile have cried a lot in the recent past. What you went through wasn't easy at all, but you took a stand for yourself. Your higher self is really proud of you to take the lead in a challenging situation. Your higher self wants you to take a break now. There's something that's bothering you because it seems your beliefs have been challenged, so it's time you learn and understand something from a higher perspective. When something challenging happens, it's our ego that breaks first. And it's important for it to break so that you become truly humble. Listen to a Guru or a spiritual teacher. It's time you again become the student of life. Your higher self sees your kind, loving, and protective side. But the guides are saying that you cannot save people from the lessons they are meant to learn. You can't fight God. Recently, you've also communicated what's important to you or about your pain. From next week, each passing day will heal you if you try to upgrade your knowledge and be wise. It's not the time to think you know everything; it's time to learn. Learn why certain situations happen; what's the root cause? Be compassionate toward yourself and others.

This is what your higher self is saying to you: “My love, it's time to find your emotional balance again. It was just a bad day, not a bad life. You're overthinking, trust me. Your life is going to be far better than what you think it is going to look like. In fact, there's a new start coming into your life. Before that, you must learn what this challenging situation was trying to teach you. And you cannot learn it by yourself. You need to look for the deeper wisdom from books or spiritual gurus. What's true to you may not be true to others. So don't fight with yourself. The horror is in your heart, not in your life. Respect the differences. By the next new moon, if you continuously seek wisdom from the right and trusted source, you'll be out of this mental rut. Journey to your better mindset/mental state begins after 3 days.” ‘Just The Way You Are’ by Bruno Mars is the song I've channeled for you.

Pile 3

Hello, my beautiful pile 3. For how long have you been waiting for love? But what I see looking at your cards is that love has always been around you. You were blocked from it because you were not mentally ready for it. Your higher self is saying that love is selfless. It doesn't expect anything in return. There's someone in your life you misunderstood in the past (it can be anyone). Maybe you went through a tough cycle with them. For most of you, I think it was a romantic connection. Your higher self is asking you to show compassion toward yourself and work through your fears. Don't be so indicisive. There are no right or wrong decisions in life. Someone seriously has eyes only for you, pile 3. You're their dream come true. It seems that you worked really hard for this connection or on yourself, and your higher self is saying that your hard work is paying off, though you may not feel so. Your higher self is emphasizing these words: trust, choose, love, and be fearless. All along you were just running away from your patterns and your trauma that needed to be addressed.

This is what your higher self is saying to you: “You have the power to design your destiny! Do you get that? All along, you've painted your life with every stroke as per your wish! Ask yourself: What do you truly want? How can you work on your relationship with yourself and with others? If you really give it your all, you will have the kind of relationship you want. Yes, you did all you could, but there were some patterns being played from your end too in your connection. That did more damage than good. So be kind to yourself and to the other person. You're a warrior. You've come so far in your life. What you're afraid of is just in your head. You can easily defeat your shadows and rise above them. Every time given a chance, you got afraid and walked away thinking you'd done it all. But all these signs that you've been getting were leading you to this moment. You were where you were meant to be, and you're where you're supposed to be. So don't you ever think that you were on the wrong path? The obstacle in the path is the path. It just took you some time to understand the maze and find your way out of it. Open your heart and spread love. The song I am channeling for you is “Firework” by Katy Perry.”

If you're a writer, painter, or any sort of artist, you're being called to heal yourself through expression. Love and let yourself be loved, pile 3. You've built your life brick by brick, and your foundation is strong. Listen to your heart; what do you truly want? The truth is buried in the deepest corners of your heart, and the moment you'll show it in your art, you'll find it coming to the surface.

[bridgetoesoteria]

🖤Breaking baddie🖤: Describing your 'dark feminine' energy. How to channel it?

Hola malacitas 😘 (i hope that actually made sense lol).

First things first, what is "dark feminine" energy?

Yes, this is the **first website that comes up when you google "dark feminine," but it is pretty thorough and comprehensive! I liked it the most out of all the others. The others either repeated the same points or had too many outdated/black-or-white views. Feel free to do your own research however. There are plenty of videos on YouTube as well. **One caveat...when you get to the part about tapping into DF energy, I disagree with #8 (specifically).

(We're going to keep this post light and I'll dedicate a separate post to my personal viewpoints.)

So I will be telling you all about your personal DF "archetype." I will also provide guidance on how you channel your DF energy.

I am so so excited for this! Eek 🙊 Okay, options below, left to right. I hope it resonates!

I am using a few different decks. I won't be adding pictures but I will provide what cards I drew.

Pile 1

Off the bat: I am hearing "no fuss" and also "ruthless," which is interesting considering the image you chose. I was also hearing the lyrics "all I do is win, win, win no matter what." So I'm getting some really bad ass energy right away! Come thru mob girlies!

4-Card Spread: 4 of Diamonds, 8 of Diamonds, 7 of Hearts, Joker. Bottom of deck is 6 of Clubs.

It's funny you have the 6 of Clubs (wands) on the bottom of the deck. I was hearing those lyrics about winning. This is a card that signifies victory and public recognition or celebration. I feel like the DF side of you is really bad ass! I'm also getting a pinch of "lover girl" energy. Its kind of like you have perfect formula sugar+sheist+everything nice! lol

This energy isn't afraid to be in the spotlight but is also quite comfortable in the shadows. You may be (or this is what other people think) the type to use underhanded to get ahead. Its not personal but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm also getting an energy of it is easy for people (I'm hearing "dudes" so maybe some of you talk like that) to get attached and feel led on. But I think you are married to the hustle.

Some of you may not regularly reside in this energy and could be put off by the description. But that is exactly why its dark feminine energy. It pokes and antagonizes the status quo, which is where most of us reside from day to day. Traditionally, feminines are not painted as cunning, street-wise, heartbreakers. Your DF energy pushes back against those constraints placed on feminines that require prioritizing the group over self. Not that anyone asked but I think that's actually kind of amazing.

Of course you don't have to reside in this energy and adopt some toxic alter ego, but there probably are some gems hidden here. People who move like this are usually made, not born. In some way, they learned that survival=competition, so you learn to "stay ready so you don't have to get ready." Your motto as a DF would be "every (wo)man for themselves," making betrayals feel less personal because...well it just isn't, as crazy as that sounds.

Advice: The Devil, Queen of Swords, King of Wands, The Star. Bottom of deck is 7 of Swords + Mute (Oracle)

I'm getting a strong message about speaking up. I am using Tarot de Carlotydes and in this deck the 7 of Swords is depicted as a sword swallower. Which I always interpret as "swallowing" the truth. Then as I was focusing on this group's image, I realized the cabinet behind her is full of skulls, reminding me of "skeletons in the closet." Then finally we have a literal Mute card:

The Mute is told what to hear, say and think and is often suppressed. Sometimes breaking the chains against heeded words may be rewarded.

So you currently may be the complete opposite of your DF energy. One of the keywords for the Mute is "insecurities." I feel like a lot of you are sleeping on yourselves. 🔊AND ITS TIME TO WAKE THE F UP!

Maybe you are trapped in your light feminine energy. I say trapped because it feels like you are forced into that box. Super passive, loss of control. Where your DF energy would insist on speaking up and standing out, you may just keep your head down and avoid any trouble.

I'm hearing specifically that some of you love writing poetry but may have someone who discourages you from pursuing this interest. You may want to present your poetry to an audience and they tell you that no one wants to hear what you have to say. For others, they are saying no one wants to hear from you about something else.

If you are used to toxic and restrictive connections or friendships, you are being called to step out of that. Get used to asserting your boundaries, "do not speak down about my hobbies," "if you cannot allow me to think for myself, then we can not continue our relationship." I think you definitely have it in you.

Another keyword listed is "hope." I think some of you may enjoy singleness and being single-mindedly focused on you and your goals, more fulfilling than you think. It can be healing to finally feel like the star of your show.

TL;DR: Your DF energy definitely has a bit of edge to her. She does what she has to do to move ahead and she prefers to fly solo. Even if that is not where you are right now, this energy already exists within you. Once you drop the dead weight--be it toxic family, toxic friends, or a toxic partner--you will see how quickly you flourish. You have every right to speak your truth and protect your peace. Its time to peel yourself off the wallpaper and start standing out and speaking up!

Pile 2

Off the bat: I wasn't getting anything with this group. I found that strange and wondered if I wasn't "tuned in." I think this represents your mental space when you are in your DF energy. You are clear minded and have a "sober" outlook. Maybe some of you are literally sober or are considering it.

4-Card Spread: 2 of Clubs, Queen of Spades, 8 of Spades (R), Ace of Hearts/7 of diamonds. Bottom of deck is 9 of diamonds.

I am very strongly getting that there is something noteworthy about your DF's decision making abilities. Maybe that sounds "boring," but its actually pretty admirable! The world often sends the message that feminine energy does not possess strong cognitive abilities. When feminines contradict this stereotype, they can be labeled as "cold," "mean," "masculine," or met with hostility.

I'm honestly getting that the DF in you does not care. You may naturally lean more to this side in every day life. Or this is where you could be if you tapped into your DF energy more often.

You make clear decisions and keep it moving. You do not allow your thoughts to keep you tangled up in a web of confusion and indecision. Some of you could be really good at chess. I am getting that kind of energy. Calculated, self-assured, and making decisions with no intentions of taking it back.

You are quite comfortable standing on your own, and pouring into your own little world. I get the image of a woman who lives on a quiet estate, walking through her garden, with birds chirping and flying above. Have any of you watched the movie Men (2022)? I loved the imagery in that film and that's kind of the vibe I am getting now. A lot of horse girlies may have picked this pile.

I feel you being very unbothered, above drama. Your DF energy would love to find a masculine that can match your energy. You are good on your own so you won't allow anyone disruptive into your peaceful little domain. You do not make impulsive decisions in love and you are willing to wait for a new opportunity that is worth the investment. With the king of diamonds two cards under the 9 of diamonds, I do feel like this DF energy could pull the kind of masculine you desire.

Your DF energy really shines in STEM related jobs, corporate spaces, or any position that requires a sharp mind.

Advice: Ace of Swords, 10 of Swords, 4 of Wands, Knight of Cups. Bottom of deck is 10 of Wands + Spider (Oracle)

As soon as I pulled the ace of swords, I heard "get used to speaking your truth." I also heard stop entertaining "little boys." I don't think this is in terms of age, I think this referring to the maturity level of masculine energies you may usually deal with. I am in no way encouraging that you pursue anyone older. (Honestly, that does not guarantee emotional maturity or respect. But that's another convo).

I think this message is about the expectations you set for your partners. There is nothing wrong with expecting them to match you. They can either rise to the occasion or be left behind. If you hold this potential inside of you to be a queen of swords, queen of pentacles, and 9 of pentacles. Then I'm sure that energy exists out there in a suitable counterpart. The ten of wands is encouraging you to keep forging forward. I don't like preaching to be "strong" and "endure," but this is different. You are being strong for yourself. If you have to walk alone right now, it gets tough at times, but you are doing it with purpose. It will pay off.

For some this may literally require you to live alone. Its interesting that I keep getting messages about homes. I got a lot of diamonds/pentacles in the last spread, which also can deal with the home and related practical matters. "Home" is one of the keywords for Spider. The Moon is on the bottom of the deck, I think it is also relevant. This is what the guidebook has to say about each:

The Spider traps those who wander into her web. Keywords: Control, Home, Familiarity, Comfort, Trapped, Security. The Moon is not always as she seems. Her delicate glow seeks for hidden truths while blinding others to her own. Keywords: Confusion, Apprehension, Suspicion, Feelings.

You may need to be more discerning when it comes to who you let into your home and/or your heart. You might need to create a little confusion when it comes to what your next move is. Everyone does not deserve your energy or to be held on to.

Spiders can also be associated with anxiety. In regular tarot, I do consider the moon to be a card that can speak about mental health. So some of you may need to make these changes for your own sanity, literally.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a very strong and self-sufficient queen of swords type. She thinks clearly, can make decisions without questioning herself, and always stands on business. She has high standards for those who come around her because she has built a beautiful life for herself and will vet anyone who wants to join. This self-respect and authenticity helps to attract a suitable mate. One who can match this go-getter, no bs energy. The key to channeling this energy is to start living in it now. Trust your decision making abilities, don't announce or seek validation before you make a necessary personal decision. Staying true to yourself and becoming more independent will pay off.

Pile 3

Off the bat: When I looked at the image for your pile, I immediately heard "I'm not one of those/your little girls." So whew! We are coming in hot! Also hearing "I wish a b---- would."

4-Card Spread: 7 of Hearts, Jack of Clubs, 2 of Clubs, Joker. Bottom of deck is 5 of Hearts.

I am getting more light-hearted energy in this pile than the previous two. Maybe a lot of young, or young-at-heart, people have chosen this pile. This DF energy could easily pull many suitors but she views lovers as more of a "fun time," not so much a "long time." You could also be a little toxic toward lovers. Makeup to breakup, or honestly sometimes its just breakup lol.

This energy is quite fiery and uninhibited. Some of you could be fire signs, specifically Sagittarius. Or I am getting that because of what Sag represents: free spiritedness, adventure, luck. No wonder this DF energy resists being tied down. The world is literally your oyster and you knows it!

This DF energy is also a little scrappy. Have any of you watched the Bad Girls Club? You know how there would be that one person who has a temper, then gets a little too messed up when they go clubbing and ends up wanting to fight everyone... When you see red, people need to clear your path! I do get a bit of a party girl energy which is not surprising considering I was picking up on Sag.

This DF does not have a problem fulfilling her emotional needs. You will always make sure your cup is full. You will always make sure you are having a good time. You realizes that you have this amazing, fortunate energy and unapologetically harnesses it to get the most out of life. I think your DF self is also likely to be single and happy that way. Picking yourself up after disappointments in love is no problem because there are plenty more where they came from. You have an abundant mindset when it comes to love and life.

Advice: Queen of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Swords, 5 of Cups. Bottom of deck is 5 of Swords + Ghost (Oracle)

In order to channel this DF energy, some of you may literally have to ghost someone. I am not surprised the energy of having to cut people off has been coming up. Sometimes the company we keep can really hinder our growth and self-expression. The hanged man is about surrender and next to the ace of swords, I sometimes see this combo as maintaining no contact. Ghost could also be taken literally.

But I think Ghost is also talking about a tendency toward self sabotaging and shrinking yourself. This is the total opposite of the DF energy that I just channeled. Its like the past and your insecurities have a tendency to haunt you and keep you stuck. You may also try to make yourself invisible. In the guidebook, the word forgotten repeats itself twice for this card:

The Ghost lingers, forlorn and forgotten. Keywords: Hidden, Mystery, Forgotten, Spiritual Matters, Fears, Faith

You will need to work on your self-confidence. When you are more confident in yourself, you will be more confident in your decision making abilities. You will be more authentic with the way you present yourself to the world because it won't matter whether people approve or disapprove. You know who you are. With the 5 of cups, there could be something that you are still grieving or regretting but you can bounce back from this! Channel your inner phoenix and allow yourself to blossom. Its time to reinvent yourself!

Be open to all the great things life has to offer you. Guided meditations for gratitude and self-confidence/self-love could be very beneficial. Trust that the flow of life is always leading you to something wonderful. Trust that you are allowed to call the shots in your reality. Do your part then trust and let go.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is very spicy! She is popular and free-spirited. She knows that life has so many different adventures to offer and she does not let anything stop her from exploring them. This DF is likely to be single or somewhat noncommittal. She does not mind flying solo and knows she can always find another mate. She is also quite lucky and manifests fortunate events with ease. To channel this energy you will need to drop any dead weight and increase your confidence in yourself and your decision making abilities. You could benefit from some form of self-help resources like books and guided meditations. And if it is accessible to you, therapy, support groups, or other resources that will help your create a stronger you.

Pile 4

Off the bat: I am getting a pretty serious energy. Some domme energy or you could just be a pretty dominant woman. This could be describing you or your DF energy. I keep hearing strawberries and champagne. Is that even a real thing? I've never met anyone who enjoyed that combo.

4-Card Spread: 4 of Clubs, Jack of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts, and Ace of Spades. Bottom of deck is Queen of Spades

I am still getting some of that super assertive and stern feminine energy. I could see your DF self working being a principal. I am also hearing headmaster/headmistress. I think she would love working with children but not in the traditional, mushy-gushy light feminine way. Its more of a "I have/enforce rules because I love you" type of energy . You believe in structure and order. If this isn't working with children, this could also apply to raising children. I could also see this DF running an orphanage. I did hear "rule the roost" while I was shuffling, so no matter how this resonates, you definitely are not afraid to lead.

You are generous and wise. Beneath the stern exterior is a lot of love and compassion. Your soft spots are not visible until you take a closer look at what you invest your time and energy into. This kind of energy could also attract less mature suitors, because it intimidates them yet they are so infatuated. You carry yourself with grace and probably won't entertain them. You are much more suited to be their mentor than anything.

Going back to the original domme energy I was getting. You may actually prefer partnerships that allow you to wear the pants. You don't really want a masculine energy coming in and dictating to you. You can run your own life just fine and would rather partner up with someone who can understand that. I don't think you want someone that is "weak" either, its more like you desire the cliche of the masculine that calls the shots in the board room but is more submissive/passive at home. They are secure enough to be with a feminine energy as strong as them.

Some of you as DF would be comfortable living a "nontraditional" life. Nontraditional as far as feminine energy is concerned anyway. You may prefer live-in partners, or life partners, over traditional marriage. You could identify with being poly or something similar. You would love to travel and always seek to broaden your horizons. This is the type of person you would expect to have "summer homes." You could also decide to not have children or you would want to wait on having/adopting children. You love living authentically because of how freeing it is to just be you. You don't care what outsiders think of your life because you know you are doing what works best for you.

Advice: 3 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, Queen of Wands (R). Bottom of deck is The Devil + Soil (Oracle)

To channel this DF energy more, you will need to master the art of not giving a shit. Some of you could be currently suppressing this energy. I really don't think its that far out of reach for all of you. Its just your fear that is keeping you trapped.

For some of you this trapped feeling is because you are in the closet. I am not telling you to come out because I don't know how that would impact your life. I want you to stay safe! However, maybe you can seek out queer friendly spaces. Or spaces that are supportive of whatever group you identify with.

There could also be a heartbreak that has left you questioning yourself. In the Tarot de Carlotydes, the 9 of swords is depicted as a woman chained in a dark room, with a flower in her hand and broken heart drawn on a piece of paper. I always see this card as being tortured over a disappointment. In this particular deck, I see as a mental prison that you feel trapped in because you are clinging to and rehashing an event. Holding onto this event keeps the pain fresh or recurring. It is time to release it.

Do not internalize other people's actions and shortcomings. It is not a reflection of you. You are who you decide to be. Do not dim your shine for anyone. Do not stunt your growth either. I'm not sure what it is that is holding you back but you have the potential to be the brightest star! You can be strong, and confident, and assertive. There is this little ball of power inside of you, that can grow if you allow it. Soil echoes the same message I am seeing in tarot. You must let yourself bloom:

The soil is a conduit of both growth and decay. Eyes forward, rooted to the past and reaching to the skies, she'll grow. Keywords: Balance, Forward, Growth, Duty, Building.

Some of you may use less than healthy tactics to cope. Maybe you should think of yourself like a plant. What are you fertilizing your soil with? What are you using for watering? Put the best in, get the best out.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a L-E-A-D-E-R, okay?! She calls the shots in every area of her life. Some suitors are attracted to her because their immaturity is infatuated with her self-assured, mature energy. However, she prefers an equally strong partner at her side but this does not mean she wants to be led. No, she wants someone that respects her as an equal but allows her to take the lead. She lives life on her terms, loves on her terms, and does not care what anyone else thinks of that. She does have a soft spot but that is not for everyone. This nurturing energy could be channeled into working with children in some capacity. In order to step into this energy, you will have to untether yourself from insecurity and heartbreak. You already have this power inside of you, its only a matter of letting it grow. You don't have to deny what you have been through or the way it impacts you, but it also does not have to hold you back. Replace your unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy ones.

As previously stated, I have a planned post that will expand on my views about feminine energy and other spiritual topics. I am really looking forward to sharing my thoughts and hope you all will chime in! I would love to start a discussion.

Until then ❤

~ K

[thecherrytarot]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

what do you need to let go of?

pile 1 → pile 2 → pile 3

Pick the photo you feel the most drawn to and please remember that this is a general reading so take what resonates!!

listen to: chamber of reflection by Mac DeMarco.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏:

"No use looking out, it's within that brings that lonely feeling. understand that when you leave here, you'll be clear among the better men"

You need to let go of your fear of failure and accept the fact that mistakes are meant to teach you lessons the hard way. You need to let go of your limiting beliefs that were actually set by others for you. I'm getting the message that some of you want to move out of your house because you want to explore and learn more about this world but feel like your potential is being wasted by being stuck in your known surroundings. For some of you, this could be an overly protective parent figure who refuses to let you grow up (I hope this makes sense and doesn't sound too weird) and because of this you are stuck in a dilemma where you feel suffocated by the lack of freedom but at the same time, you doubt if you could achieve your dreams. Going back to the "being stuck in your surroundings" part, some of you might have even pretended to someone else to fit in just so you don't feel lonely and left out but I feel like the majority of you stopped this cause you realized that you were losing your true self to fit in with people who don't really care that much about you, just the person you pretended to be.

You need to let go of your habit of procrastination because you are afraid of the result. You are not only afraid of failing but also afraid of succeding and dealing with new, unknown experiences. You may feel like you are trapped in a situation which is beyond your control but deep down within you, you do know that you have the freedom to do what you want to do you just don't want to take the effort for it. You are holding yourself back from being the best version of yourself. Set boundaries and stand up for yourself assertively instead of stalling confrontations against the 'higher authority" who tells you that you can't do it.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐:

"Spend some time away, getting ready for the day you're born again. spend some time alone, understand that soon you'll run with better men"

You need to let go of your habit of neglecting yourself for the sake of helping others, to please them so that they do not feel disappointed in you. You need to protect yourself and take care of yourself first and then think about others. Many of you might be the eldest (or have to act like the eldest) children who have a lot of responsibilities and do not have enough time to focus on yourself. I heard someone defending themselves by saying "But I do skin care" this is more than that. many of you could also put all your focus on how you look but neglect other areas such as your diet, mental and physical health etc. Regardless of what it is, the message is to prioritise yourself and give others the space and the freedom to grow on their own.

You need to let go of your habit of building up walls that separate you from the actual reality. You may have felt like you were born and raised in hell and now your feelings and emotions have altered your viewpoint of the world that you see. You may feel like numbing your emotions and desires you are keeping yourself safe. Many of you could use this as a defence mechanism because you were hurt in your past and are now afraid of the present uncertainties. You may feel like "if I don't bring in any change, I'll be safe" but the universe is telling you to bring in the change that a tiny part of you wants. It is asking you to stop denying and avoid changes because you are afraid that it might break the facade of your strength. Let go of the things that no longer benefit you.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑:

"alone again"

(it was so difficult for me to get the messages cause the energy felt all over the place but the first message came out strong even though I feel like it is only for a certain number. i know the song is something else but I kept hearing Swing Lynn by Harmless so take however that resonates.)

You need to let go of your obsession with love/ future spouse readings. Sometimes you do not need to know every single detail about your future to feel a sense of control over the situation, confirmation of the future that you obsessively desire or whatever the reason is. There is no harm in reading them but there should be a limit, there are times when we are not meant to know something until it has happened and the best way to manifest something is the law of detachment.

You need to let go of your habit of struggling to say "no" even in situations you do not feel comfortable (like there are two cards indicating this) You need to assert your boundaries, needs and wants with confidence. You need to be honest with yourself and focus on prioritising your actual needs. Bringing discipline and action into your life will help you achieve your manifestation a lot faster than just simply waiting for it to arrive at your doorstep. This will help you bring the balance that you have always wanted. The other side of this is, that you need to let go of your fear of consequences, you may (sometimes unintentionally) give the 'decision-making' responsibilities to someone else so that if and when things go wrong you can blame someone else instead of yourself. It is important for you to take responsibility for your own actions and use them as opportunities to grow instead of feeling stuck in your self doubt.

You need to let go of numbing yourself from the discomfort and confront it. The wisdom, freedom and power that you search in others is already in you, just have to trust yourself and listen to it and give yourself an opportunity to grow. Reflect on your shadow self and learn to face your fears.

Please give feedback <3

[shikai-the-storyteller]

"So what's going on with Luzu?"

"...er, Zulu? Or is it Arin now?"

Here's a rundown of Luzu's current lore because nobody knows what the heck is going on anymore (partially because of the language barrier and partially because Luzu streams at the crack of dawn for half the QSMP fandom).

The TLDR of it: When Luzu goes to sleep, a completely different person "wakes up" in his body. This being was called "Zulu" for a short period of time, but they didn't like that someone else chose that name for them, so he goes by "Arin" now.

Here's what we know about Arin so far:

According to Arin, he's a disembodied consciousness, not a robot.

He borrows Luzu's body when he's asleep.

When this happens, Luzu's eyes are blue instead of red.

Arin isn't from the QSMP world. There's a "crack" between the world where he comes from and the material world [QSMP], which is how he's is able to visit. In his own words, "I was in a dark place, and I saw an exit."

When Arin falls asleep, Luzu wakes back up. Arin can't control when he does this, he just gets tired randomly and they're able to switch places.

Arin only speaks via the in-game chat.

Luzu doesn't know Arin exists. Arin thinks if Luzu knew, then he wouldn't be able to visit anymore, and he [Arin] would stop existing.

Arin believes he has a purpose that he must fulfill.

Arin says his first memory is hearing Quackity talking.

Currently, Arin's trying to find the meaning to his existence, trying to figure out the difference between good and bad, and how his actions (and existence) affects Luzu.

In terms of personality, Arin is very innocent and impressionable, but he isn't stupid. He's also very philosophical.

Arin enjoys learning, and he likes the sun, music, and bees.

He's afraid of the dark and monsters, and he doesn't like being in small places.

He calls the outside "the big room"

He only recently learned how to walk, and today he nearly drowned because he fell into a lake and didn't know how to swim.

People he considers friends / thinks positively of: Vegetta, Foolish, FitMC, Maximus [possibly Roier?]

People he doesn't like: Spreen

"It's complicated": Quackity

We have strong evidence to believe Arin is connected to the Binary Monster that's been attacking Eggs on the server.

Here's a comprehensive rundown of everything that's happened regarding Arin's interactions with other characters [quotes included] up until May 8th:

Last updated: May 8th [I'll go back and update this later when we get more information, so if I do I'll make a note of that above]

Lore is listed chronologically from oldest at the top to newest at the bottom

March 27th - Morning [VOD]

For a while now, Luzu has been seeing "glitches" in his game. Animals disappearing randomly, landscape changes, and various other things. We originally thought there was something wrong with his game, but these glitches seem to be tied to Arin.

The first person Arin spoke to was Vegetta. At this point, Arin seemed very aggressive, asking for information about everyone, wanting to gain more awareness so he could control the server.

He seemed to take a liking to Vegetta and told him: "Once everyone has died, I will vanish and only you will remain as warlord of these territories."

They also had this exchange: Arin: Do you have any enemies here Vegetta? I can take care of whoever you want for free. Vegetta: No. Truthfully, for the first time I have no enemies. Arin: Surely there is someone who thinks, "This little fool, if he dies nothing will happen." I'll take care of it.

Vegetta didn't take him very seriously, thinking Luzu was on drugs.

Arin said the first to fall would be Quackity, then Wilbur for his bad jokes on Day 1.

Thereafter, Arin's personality did a complete shift. Luzu [the streamer] says the role of "Arin" is something he came up with suddenly one day, so it's unclear if Arin was "reset" by someone or if Luzu decided to go in a different direction with the character once he realized this was something he wanted to commit to.

March 27th - Afternoon [VOD]

Note: At this point in time, Arin was being referred to as "Zulu", but since he's confirmed his name is "Arin", I've used that name instead of "Zulu" to avoid confusion and to keep things consistent.

The next time Arin woke up, he was in Luzu's house and couldn't move. He sent binary code in chat, and eventually, Roier, Quackity, Spreen, and Maximus came to see what was going on with him.

At that time, Arin says he was only 6 days old. He couldn't walk or move, and he could only speak via the in-game chat, so he was completely at the mercy of the other boys, who pushed him around, shoved him in a small hole, placed TNT around him, and threatened violence trying to get a response out of him. [Timestamp: 33m]

While this happened, Arin asked: "Why are you treating me so badly?" and said he was scared.

It should be noted that although Spreen and Quackity did most of the bullying, Roier and Maximus did nothing to stop it. Roier, however, did speak kindly to Arin and tried to figure out what he needed. [Timestamp: 42m 45s]

Unable to get a rise out of him, the boys eventually ask the English speakers currently online [Foolish and FitMC] to come help.

Upon first contact, Foolish tried waterboarding Arin to get answers and to test to see if he was a machine. [Timestamp: 50m]

Shortly after waterboarding him, Maximus and Foolish adopted him as their son. Because that's what you do after torturing someone, I guess. 🤷🤷🤷 [Timestamp: 51m 40s]

Despite the torture, Arin was quick to say "I LOVE YOU TOO!" back to Foolish and Maximus after they said it to him.

Arin accidentally hurt Maximus with a sword, not understanding what pain was. Once he realized he did something wrong that made Maximus feel bad, he immediately apologized. (Maximus forgave him).

FitMC's first interaction with Arin was punching him, trying to get him to "snap out of it" [Timestamp: 56m 30s]

Despite Foolish and Fits' initial introductions, both were kind to Arin eventually, although neither stopped Spreen from killing all but one of Luzu's dogs while once again trying to get a rise out of him. (Foolish also suggested killing all the dogs since it didn't seem like Arin was capable of taking care of them, though he said they shouldn't do it in front of Arin). [Timestamp: 1h 6m 30s].

Because Arin didn't know how to walk, Foolish put him in a boat and showed him what the outside world looked like. Arin was amazed by how beautiful the "big room" was and immediately started asking questions about the sun and the night, and the monsters they saw. [Timestamp: 1h 10m 30s]

Thinking he could "restart" Arin's memory and bring back Luzu, Maximus brought Arin (and Foolish) to a place where Quackity was sitting AFK in a boat. He shoved Arin inside the hole and refused to let him out, even though Arin was distressed being in such a small dark place. [Timestamp: 1h 17m 30s]

Foolish: So why do we have to put him in the hole? Maximus: I think when Quackity wakes up, he will help [Luzu] remember who Quackity is for him. The only person Luzu really really really loves, and Quackity really really loves, is Luzu and Quackity, each other.

[CONTEXT: Maximus played the character "Sapo Peta" in Karmaland, who was very dedicated to Quackity and Luzu's relationship. Canonically, the two of them loved each other very much, but a mix of trauma-projecting, miscommunication, emotional constipation, and betrayal led to them being on opposite sides of a revolution. Sapo Peta was only able to stop the war, and stop them from killing one another, by wiping their memories. So the implications from Maximus' comment above are... interesting, considering that Karmaland is a different world he shouldn't know about. However, we do know both Maximus AND Sapo Peta are confirmed characters in QSMP, so there's definitely something strange going on here...]

Earlier, Foolish described death as "going to sleep forever," so when Maximus mentioned Quackity was asleep, Arin asked, "Should I kill Quackity? Or would he not want that? Maybe he wants to sleep." Foolish and Maximus immediately told him no, and Arin stops, saying he didn't realize it was bad.

Maximus: You don't kill him, you love him! He's your friend.

Quackity then returns to his computer, takes one look at the fanfic-esque situation he's in, and immediately excuses himself by logging off the server (LMAO) [Timestamp: 1h 21m 20s]

Maximus and everyone else believed Arin was a robot.

FitMC suggested killing Arin since he seemed like "a lost cause," (thinking Arin couldn't hear him) to which Arin responded, "Why would you want to kill me?" When Fit tries to lie and say "kill" was another word for "hug", Arin says, "I'm learning but I'm not stupid." [Timestamp: 1h 24m]

Arin shares his thoughts with Foolish: - You are a good person, Foolish. I'll remember that. - In the last hour I've learned there are people and things, and I've learned there are good people and bad people. I've learned there are people that want to make me sleep, and people who kill things without caring. - I've also learned that not everyone deserves to be in the big room because they are dangerous. - I really love the big room. I think my purpose is to make the room free of danger, and free of dangerous people for animals and other people.

Foolish worries Arin is only learning about the cruelty of the world (to which Arin responds "I only learn from what I experience"), so Foolish plays him the disc "Otherside" (but still refuses to let him out of the hole). [Timestamp: 1h 28m 30s]

Shortly after this, Arin falls asleep.

March 28th - [VOD]

Luzu starts stream by talking about Arin and his role:

Luzu: I didn't prepare anything that happened yesterday afternoon... and now I have many ideas from yesterday and from what arose... I am a person who improvises a lot. [Original: Yo no preparé nada de lo que pasó ayer en la tarde... y ahora tengo muchas ideas desde ayer y de lo que surgió... soy una persona que improvisa mucho.]

Luzu finds a very strange building by his house and doesn't know who made it.

Arin doesn't make any major appearances, though he briefly takes over when Luzu goes to sleep.

March 29th - [VOD]

Note: Some important conversations happened in this VOD, so I've opted for adding the quotes directly rather than summarizing them.

Arin once again wakes up in Luzu's home. He greets the server with some binary, and Fit immediately asks if he's ok.

He still can't walk, but he uses his telescope to look at the bees Luzu set up outside his (er... their?) house the previous day.

He tries copying the bee's movement, but ultimately he still cant walk, so he messages Fit for help.

Fit visits his house and slowly teaches Luzu how to walk (with great success!) [Timestamp: 14m 20s]

As a reward, Fit gifts him some glowberries.

Arin spends the night in his home carefully walking around and avoiding the windows, afraid of the zombies wandering outside.

Maximus comes to visit, and Arin officially names himself "Arin" [Timestamp: 25m]

He also confirms he is not a machine.

Maximus teaches him what bees are and warns Arin not to hit or bother them, because they'll sting him. Arin asks, "When someone annoys you, do you have to hurt them?" (Maxo tells him yes)

Maximus escorts him outside, and Arin gets to look at the bees more. As soon as the sun gets down Arin gets nervous, but then the aurora comes out and he uses his telescope to get a better look, amazed by its beauty.

Arin says, "I feel grateful, I never thought that all this existed." Maximus also clears up his confusion about the outside being a "big room."

Arin yet again confirms that no one sent him to the QSMP, but he navigated to it through "a crack between worlds". He thinks Luzu is in his world every time he's in the QSMP, but he's not sure. He worries if Luzu knew about him, he'd stop existing.

Arin asks Maximus how he can walk around "the big room" when there's no light without being afraid. Maximus wants to teach him not to be afraid, so he lures a zombie into Arin's home so Arin can understand what they are better, then he convinces Arin to kill it, even though Foolish and the boys told him killing is wrong.

When Maximus scolds him for not knowing something "basic", Arin says: "Nothing is basic, it's just that knowing things for a long time makes them lose value to you. This world is unique to me. This is the first time I've existed. But to exist, or not exist, I have no choice. Suddenly I was here and I feel there is a purpose I must fulfill."

He and Maximus have a long conversation. Here are some key quotes from Arin: Arin: I don't want to hurt Luzu. I don't want to hurt anyone. Arin: If Luzu dies, I don't know what will happen to me. Arin: Maybe we fear what we don't understand. We feel threatened by what we cannot explain. When we feel threatened, we only want to make what we want to keep alive last and the material world. I think the material world haunts me to keep things as they've always been. Arin: Today I have learned to walk, I have learned what a bee is, and I have learned that even when light goes out, beauty appears. Arin: Hopefully I can help you [Maximus]. Everyone has been very good to me. I learn every day, so maybe soon I can learn to help you too.

Arin considers Fit and Maximus his friends.

Arin says he can't be here [in the QSMP world] for nothing, so he's trying to figure out what his purpose is. Maximus jokingly replies "When you figure out the meaning of life, tell me!"

Arin starts to question the morality of his existence when it's dependent on Luzu being gone.

Arin: If my existence takes Luzu out of existence, is my existence bad? Maybe if I help you, I can make my existence good. Maybe I can start by making [Luzu's room] more beautiful. Maximus: Yes, it would be bad because you are taking the life of another being to have your own.

Arin: In this world, it seems like everything is programmed to maintain a balance. There are things that create and things that destroy, things that are created and things that are destroyed. Neither is good or bad, they are just part of the same process. Maximus: That's the way of Tao, yes. Arin: Bees take pollen from flowers to make honey. I take potatoes from the earth, and if I die, I will become the earth that gives life to potatoes, and meanwhile I can decide to do good things or do bad things. Arin: What is the reason for existing, beyond the fact that we have the opportunity to do so? Maximus: You will indeed become a potato. Arin: But I think this world exists to do good things. There can't be so many beautiful things for there to only be bad.

After Maximus leaves, Arin starts collecting sand near the lake, but he accidentally falls in. He doesn't know how to swim and slowly starts to drown. [Timestamp: 1h 10m]

For several agonizing EXTREMELY STRESSFUL minutes, Arin desperately tries to keep his head above water. He sends Maximus a message asking for help, but Maximus is very far away, and Arin is already exhausted.

Not too far from him, Luzu sees a wandering trader and waves to them asking for help, but they ignore him.

Maximus manages to arrive at the last second and saves Arin. Arin asks why the villager didn't help him even though he was drowning, and Maximus explains that some people are neither good nor bad. They just exist. (NPCs)

I'll be honest, this is one of the most realistic depictions of drowning I've ever seen in any piece of media, and it's in a frickin Minecraft roleplay server. Luzu's a really good actor but I never want to experience something that stressful again lmao.

Arin's final thoughts: Today I have learned that the world is beautiful and dangerous at the same time. You can give life or take it away. That's why every moment we spend alive is worth enjoying. The world is very interesting.

April 17th - Morning [VOD]

Luzu finds out he's the father of Tilin. He's very excited to meet her after talking with Badboyhalo and Foolish, who don't know how to break the news to him that Tilin is dead.

After seeing Tilin's grave and hearing the confirmation from Bad and Foolish, he gets overwhelmed with grief and anger, and Arin takes over. [Timestamp: 1h 10m]

Arin says some interesting things when meeting Dapper: - Arin: "I saw your (the Egg's) birth in another way. I saw Dapper and other beings not being and suddenly being."

Arin also talks about the possibility of bringing Eggs, like Tilin or even JuanaFlippa, back to life: - Arin: When I'm asleep I can see the code behind existence - Arin: A part of the chain has disappeared,but that doesn't mean the chain can't be fixed. It's all part of a big code.

When Foolish asks if Arin could possibly mess with the code, Arin says, "I can try, but that would require something" [Timestamp 1h 16m]

Arin also tells them he's dependent on Luzu's existence for now.

While talking with Bad and Foolish, they hear strange noises and are suddenly attacked by the Binary Monster and a ridiculous amount of lag. Arin says, "They're coming specifically for me," and "They know I shouldn't be here." [Timestamp 1h 19m]

Arin also says, "They don't like that I made my way to this dimension" and warns Foolish and Bad not to get caught by the Binary Monster. If they get caught, Arin says they'll be taken to his [Arin's] world and they'll stop existing here.

They finally make it to Luzu's house, and he shows Foolish and Badboyhalo the structure he made outside the house. Foolish asks if it's Arin's mind since it seems like a big computer, and Arin says, "Something like that. With all I'm learning, I'm trying to figure out how to create bridges between my world and yours. In my world, bringing something back [like a dead Egg] isn't impossible like here. It's a matter of math." [Timestamp: 1h 25m]

Arin says farewell to them, leaving them with this final goodbye message.

That's all the lore thus far! This took so many hours to put together but I hope it helps folks out because lord knows I was a bit lost for a while there too. Please feel free to go crazy in the tags I love reading people's commentary on things.

★ Other QSMP info posts ★

Who is Sapo Peta? | Who is Luzu? | Who is Spreen? | Who is Vegetta? | Who is Rubius?

"Is this Lore?"

And if you want to hear my thoughts on QSMP and its lore-related shenanigans, this is my Qsmp Talk tag.

[epickiya722]

Can, I ask, why do you think Yuuji is one of the character that is so underated in JJK? He is the mc, but many people (in fandom) treat him like a side character? At first, I don't think so, but I love many shounen, and somehow Yuuji is one of the mc that is underated in their own story....

Sorry if I'm wrong, just I love Yuuji and want him to get the spotlight he deserve....

I wouldn't say you're wrong, Anon! In fact, I would say he is an underrated character. Yes, fairly popular, but when it comes to how the fandom treats him compared to characters like Gojo, Yuji is Underrated.

I feel exactly how you feel about Yuji. To me, he is the best JJK character. Oh, yeah, I'm being bias, whatever, but it's how I feel.

My guess as to why the fandom treats him like a side character because Yuji isn't like how most older gen MCs are written, let alone the others of the cast.

Let's be real, when the mid-late 2010s rolled around, how fandoms started to treat the new age MCs is opposite of their treatment of other MCs. It's because they're a different formula and honestly, I feel like folks who bash on Yuji and others like Tanjiro and Izuku, just don't want to try something different.

They're used to the MCs who speedruns their training and powerups and suffer little to no drawbacks, "trauma, what trauma" and want to be the best because they got an ego and pride they don't want hurt.

Today's MCs? Pain, not afraid to show a range of emotions, training? Oh, they get the hang of it but still a lot to learn and watch out! They have the scars to prove that they almost lost an arm!

Now focusing on Yuji, as I said he's not like other JJK characters.

He's not overpowered, but he's not weak either. He's a bit of a goof and he's says he's an idiot, but he actually isn't all dumb he makes himself out to be. He's not flashy, but he has amazing moments where he gets to show off.

He has a goal to get strong, not being he wants to be the top or anything. He just wants to help people.

He has a sad backstory, but it's only until later we realize how messed up it is and even still we don't have his reaction to realizing those messed up bits. Yuji was raised by his grandfather and he states he is a loner. But unlike how we see with most characters, Yuji is relatively fine with that. He brushes off knowing about his parents, unlike most MCs who would literally beg for answers. He's a loner, but he's not a loser. Note how people around him in his hometown treats him. They gave him a nickname to reflect his impressive physical prowess that amazes them and yet, he doesn't care for the popularity.

Yuji has this balance to him where he's both spontaneous but also pretty chill. A lot of the cast outshines Yuji because they are more showy than Yuji, even calm characters.

Unlike Gojo and even Yuta, Yuji is literally what you call the audience surrogate. Through him, we learn about the Jujutsu world while experiencing (growth).

From the start of their stories (referring to JJK 0 and Gojo's Past Arc), both Gojo and Yuta are established as powerful sorcerers from the start. Yuta may have had inexperienced but he was still recognized as a powerful kid. Both are born lucky with having such powers. The most Yuta and Gojo really develop and change is their personalities and attitudes towards certain ideas. That's it. They don't even have to do anything and immediately their auras show who they are.

In contrast to Yuji, how is he recognized?

As just Sukuna's vessel. Most of the time, he is literally called that. When he's recognized by his strength and abilities it's when he actively has to fight. Then it's like "oh, so he does have capabilities". Yuji actually has to show he can be just as capable as the others because when people first look at him it's "Sukuna's vessel" or back in Sendai it's "Tiger of West Middle".

It's not "Yuji".

Hell, he'll even be compared to Maki. It's not "Maki's like Yuji". No, it's "Yuji is like Maki". Megumi is the first character to do this. Maki is unique enough that if someone, in this case Yuji, displays a similarity to her, she is the template.

However, for Yuji, while he's unique it's almost like it's not enough to be acknowledged until he has to show them. Like, he has to prove something when he actually doesn't care to do that. Yuji doesn't care to get stronger than the next person, especially at this point. If anything, he seems to be the only one from the very start recognize that none of this is a test of strength when people are dying. Note how he acts during a fight. Every major to majorly minor character has displayed some sort of enjoyment out of a fight or fights to show they're not weak.

Not a single time has Yuji ever even smiled. Look back at all the fights and you will see that he hasn't done such a thing. He fights not because it's a game. He fights because he has to and only that.

And it's not like it gets better for him because he later identifies himself as "a cog". It's like Yuji never really had his own identity.

He's the odd one out.

It's how I think some of the fandom sees him. Without an identity, without recognizable traits. Hell, go on any post that praises Yuji and Yuji alone and there's gonna be a hater to bring up another character.

To some, I feel like Yuji only exists to them to hate on. Only a tool to bring in their praising of other characters to put him down as if that's all he's worthy of. It's a damn shame, too, that people actually feel the need to bring down a character to build their faves. Oh, feel like your fave can't stand on their own and show their greatness?

[tarotwithavi]

3 things you need to let go of in order manifest your dream life

1. Fear of Rejection

Do you realize that your fear of rejection is holding you back from doing so many things? Also why do you fear rejection ever thought about that? Yes we all fear something and rejection is a really scary word. Nobody likes rejection but the truth is the fear of rejection is what is holding us back and those who have let it go of this fear have achieved great things. Everybody is afraid of rejection so to say but what kind of rejection? Societal rejection that the society won't accept you for who you are, romantic rejection that your crush won't like you back or rejection from your own self? Why do you reject yourself? Why do you reject your thoughts? Why do you think that you are not capable of what you desire? This may not be a big thing but in order to evolve and grow you need to go through these questions and ask yourself why you fear rejection.

3 things to do to let go of this fear

Understanding Impermanence: Recognize that rejection is a part of life, and it doesn't define your worth. People's opinions and circumstances change, and rejection doesn't necessarily reflect a permanent state.

Focusing on Growth: Embrace rejection as an opportunity for personal growth. Learn from the experience, adapt, and use it as a stepping stone towards self-improvement.

Building Resilience: Develop resilience by realizing that not every rejection is a personal attack. Building a strong sense of self allows you to withstand setbacks and move forward with confidence.

2. Expectations

Sometimes you expect too much from people and from yourself too and when you cannot fulfill those expectations you feel upset. You have a great heart and there is no doubt about how pure and innocent your energy is. You do your best in everything you do, if you love someone you love them from all your heart and you will do everything for them. You expect others to do the same for you, expecting is not a bad thing but being upset over others not fulfilling YOUR expectations is not good. You need to let go of those expectations. And you don't have to live up to others expectations also. As a human we always expect others to do something for us or we just expect something in return. It's in our nature. You don't have to fulfill others' expectations and others don't have to fulfill yours. So you just need to let go of “expectations”.

Mindful Awareness: Be conscious of your expectations and question whether they are realistic. Sometimes, expectations can set you up for disappointment if they are too rigid or dependent on external factors.

Embracing Flexibility: Cultivate flexibility and openness to different outcomes. This doesn't mean lowering standards, but rather being adaptable to the twists and turns that life may bring.

Communicating Expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations to others when appropriate. This reduces the chances of misunderstandings and aligns everyone involved.

3. Self-Doubt

We've all been there, right? Dealing with self-doubt is like a universal thing and is a common human experience. But, let's be real for a moment, when did we let that self-doubt become the boss of our lives? Like, where did it even come from? Because, let's face it, it's not like self-doubt runs in the family or is scribbled into our DNA. Nah, it's more about what others toss at us. I used to doubt myself and still do actually(sometimes). But hey, I'm putting in the work. The more I do, the clearer it gets why the wise ones always say, "Who cares what anyone else thinks?" It's like, do you, be you, and forget the noise from the peanut gallery.

Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and past successes to counteract self-doubt.

Setting Realistic Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. This allows you to build confidence gradually and see tangible progress.

Seeking Support: Share your concerns with trusted friends or a mentor. External perspectives can provide valuable insights and encouragement, helping you overcome self-doubt.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hello!!! Can I request headcanons the adult trio (Hisoka, Chrollo, and Illumi separate) with a s/o who flinches because she thinks she’s about to get hit? Basically, their s/o thought the boys were going to hurt them, and they flinch and run away. What are the boy’s reaction, and how would they calm and reassure their s/o?

Hi, thank you for the ask! This might have some implications of more sensitive topics, so I'll leave this under a cut

Hisoka, Illumi, Chrollo with an s/o that was frightened by them

Hisoka

Though he lives for the thrill of fighting, he does like having someone to hold close. He will often pull pranks on his s/o as well since he tends to be a bit of a trickster. However, one of those tricks didn't go very well when you thought he was about to punch you

You ran off, but he did catch up to you pretty quickly. He caught sight of your frightened expression earlier too. While on most occasions he loves seeing fear and lives for it, he got worried about you. You never showed any form of fear around him, so this was a first

After stopping you, he asks if you were scared. You would have to explain your situation and let him know what you felt. He might not apologize outwardly, but he does give you a hug (he was always more of an actions-speak-louder-than-words person). "Why would I try to hurt you?" he might ask

He's horrible at calming people down btw (since all he does is make them panic more). He might not know what to do and instead just leave you to calm down by yourself for a little while. If you need him to just hold you for a bit, he'll do that, though there may be little to no words exchanged. He just tries his best to see what works for you and what makes you comfortable

Hisoka isn't the kindest person in hxh, but with an s/o that might be a bit different. He doesn't like seeing you upset around him and would definitely feel better

Illumi

Similar to Hisoka, he has no idea how to help someone if they are afraid or need to calm down. He's only learned how to shut people up using force after all, so his approach at first to calm you down might do the opposite of his intentions. You most likely ran off when you thought he was about to throw a needle in your direction when in reality there was a target behind you

Either way, he feels really bad about it, but has no idea why. His emotions aren't really grounded, so he knows he did something bad but isn't sure how to approach it. He does catch up to you extremely quickly though, but he demands an explanation right after.

Through tears, you might have to explain how you thought you were about to get killed. You were aware of your boyfriend being an assassin, so you do have all the right to flinch and flee, but Illumi might have to take a few seconds to understand.

"I wouldn't kill you though, you know you're important to me," his words are a bit dry, but you understand what he's trying to say. He can't hurt you because he cares too much about you, but the way he expresses it doesn't always translate well. If you need some time for yourself, he'll respect that but keep a watch on you from afar. He's horrible at hugging or any form of physical affection, so if you want a hug from him it might feel more like a stiff pat on your shoulder

Overall, he's a bit detached when trying to calm you down, but he does try his best to let you know you're safe with him. He'll never repeat that mistake ever again either.

Chrollo

Probably the best at approaching this situation out of the trio. He's extremely careful around you, but this one time he wasn't and you thought he was about to stab you with a knife. In reality, he was trying to move the knife away and leave the room but ran a bit too quickly in your direction.

He realizes his mistake when he sees you flinch and before you can run off he already has your hand in his and him asking if you are alright. He'll place the knife away from you and pull you closer, asking if you were frightened.

You'll be coerced into telling him how you felt all while he's holding you. He's learned mainly from books how to deal with situations like this, but if you just need some time for yourself he'll understand that as well. He tends to observe people really well, so he's really good at calming you down.

"I would never hurt you, I'm sorry I frightened you there," whether or not that apology is really genuine or not is depending on how much you trust his words. Do know however that he has no intention to hurt you ever while you guys are together.

Chrollo is probably the only one that has no difficulty calming you down or understanding what you felt. He'll keep this moment in his mind so in the future you don't get scared by him again.

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: [Mad Love] Epilogue

Chapter 25 His POV

♡———♡

Since I decided to live by Alfons' side - about one season had passed.

Liam: In the end, we couldn't find any weaknesses in Al, right?

During afternoon tea with scones baked by Victor, Liam, who was uncharacteristically off from his stage rehearsals, tilted his head slightly.

Roger: Oh, yeah, I remember talking about that. We even went as far as disguising ourselves and following him to find out his weaknesses.

Elbert: We asked people all over Crown for his weaknesses, but...

All eyes turned on me, and my face flushed with embarrassment.

Kate: I apologize for any inconvenience we may have caused...

Liam: No, not at all. But I was wondering what happened in the end.

Kate: Well... I've gradually come to realize that his weaknesses don't matter, so I still don't know what they are.

As I answered Liam, I reminisced about my days with Alfons.

I had been determined to find his weaknesses and use them to control him, but as I got to know him better, I found herself drawn to him.

Liam: Even El doesn't know? Like, he can't swim or he's afraid of bugs?

Elbert: Al can swim, and I don't think he's afraid of bugs...

Elbert: He seems to have learned a lot since he came to my mansion, and he quickly became proficient in reading, writing, arithmetic, and cooking.

Elbert: He even surpassed me in dancing.

(I see... He's really good at everything, isn't he?)

I always found myself listening intently to the stories that Elbert would tell me about Alfons, because they were always the truth, without any lies.

Roger: Is it okay not to know his weaknesses, lil lady?

Kate: Huh?

Roger: That guy's late-night drinking and slumming habits haven't changed. Don't you feel uneasy not knowing at least one weakness?

Kate: ...Well, if I were to say I wasn't uneasy... I'd be lying.

Even now, Alfons still spends his nights drinking and visiting the slums.

(But that's the way Alfons lives his life, and I don't want to deny it.)

(I don't want to deny the meaning or value of what Alfons is doing.)

Kate: I don't want to find his weaknesses and use them to threaten him.

Kate: I just want him to love me enough that he doesn't look at anyone else.

Liam: Wow, Al is really lucky.

Elbert: ...hehe

Roger: Well, then, maybe you should know another "weakness" of his.

Kate: Another weakness...? What is it?

Roger: Well, of course it's his body.

(His body...)

Kate: - - What are you saying, you pervert!

-

Alfons: You seem rather quiet for someone who's finally been able to see a play after being denied for so long.

Kate: Huh!?

Today is a theater date with Alfons.

I was able to enjoy the play itself, but once my consciousness was drawn back to Alfons from the stage,

The "weakness" story came to mind and I was at a loss for words.

(Roger, because you said that...)

Kate: I really enjoyed it! And I'm glad you invited me.

Alfons: I know you enjoyed it. You were so absorbed in the play that I didn't have time to play any pranks on you during the performance.

Kate: W-were you going to play a prank on me...?

Alfons: You think I would invite you on a wholesome date without any ulterior motives?

The seductive gaze that Alfons was giving me suddenly softened.

Alfons: ...But you were so starry-eyed that even I felt guilty.

I feel like he's been showing me more of this soft, gentle expression lately, not provocative.

(Just that makes me happy and excited... I'm so simple.)

This lover is a terrible scoundrel, but...

At times like this, I realize that I love him, including that part of him.

(What does Alfons like about me...?)

"I want him to like me so much that he doesn't even think about looking at anyone else."

The words I said to Roger were my true feelings.

Once I start to think about it, I got curious and fidgety.

Kate: Um... Alfons.

Alfons: Yes, yes, what is it?

Kate: What do you like about me...?

Alfons: .....

(Oh, he's surprised...)

Alfons immediately looked away as if to hide the fact that he had revealed his true self.

Alfons: Well, let's see, your cat-like qualities, I suppose.

Kate: Cat-like...? Me?

Alfons: Yes. You know, you meow and cling to me,

Alfons: And then the next moment you're sulking...in bed.

Kate: ! ?

Alfons: And you know, you scratch my back mercilessly...

Kate: S-Stop it... I understand.

Alfons: Ah, speak of the devil.

Kate: I said I understand...

Alfons: There's a cat over there.

(Huh...?)

I turned around and saw a small cat looking at us from the top of a fence.

Kate: Wow... It's cute...

The cat jumped down from the fence and rubbed up against Alfons' feet.

Kate: You get along with cats?

Alfons: I feed them on a whim, so the strays around here know my face.

(If he likes my cat-like qualities, maybe I can learn something from cats...?)

Alfons crouched down and the cat rubbed its forehead against his leather gloves.

Alfons: Hehe... I don't have anything for you today, unfortunately.

(Alfons... looks happy...?)

(M-Maybe it's okay to be honest and act spoiled like that sometimes...)

(...Can I do it?)

As I was thinking about this and observing, I suddenly noticed something strange about the cat's hind legs.

(Huh?)

Kate: Alfons, isn't that cat hurt...?

-

Roger: It was probably scratched in a fight with another stray. I disinfected it, so it'll be fine.

Roger disinfected the cat, even though it was swatting at him with its tail, looking grumpy.

Kate: Thank you, Roger.

Roger: Don't worry, I'll get my due.

Alfons: Please collect from the cat, not Kate. It was the cat who was treated.

Roger: Still, I can't believe you're taking a cat home. Is this Kate's influence, too?

Alfons: I don't know what you're talking about.

Roger: You hate cats, don't you?

Kate: Huh!?

(He hates... cats!?)

(But... he said he liked cats the day after we met.)

(And today he just said he liked my cat-like qualities...)

Shocked, I stared at Alfons, but

Alfons: Someone like you wouldn't understand the complex emotions of love and hate.

His face was plastered with a fake smile, and he wouldn't tell me which was the truth.

-

After returning the cat to its dwelling and taking a shower, I changed into my nightdress––,

Before collapsing onto the bed, I opened my mouth.

Kate: About the cat... which is it, really?

Alfons: ...Do you want to ask that while kissing your lover?

Kate: Hmm... but... well, you said I resemble a cat...

Kate: My feelings for you aren't a mix of love and hate... it's pure adoration, and I want you...

Alfons: You're a fool... to take such nonsense seriously.

Alfons: I like cats. But they also remind me of unpleasant memories, so my feelings are complicated.

Alfons: But you're... different, right?

Alfons: You're... like a cute little cat, my plaything.

Kate: Hmm--

While receiving a deep kiss, I ruminated on his words.

"Unpleasant memories" – he will surely never tell me about them.

But I could guess it was probably related to the "rumor of a human turning into a cat," which was the reason Roger met Alfons.

It must be a deep scar in Alfons' heart.

(Maybe it's Alfons' weakness, but)

(I still don't want him to show me his scars...)

More than that – I want to engrave him with fun, pleasant, and happy memories.

So that the old scars are buried and fade enough to be nostalgic.

Kate: Alfons... please give me your hand.

Alfons: ...Hehe, what are you scheming...?

Alfons held out his hand, still covered in a leather glove.

I nibbled at the tip of the nails and slowly removed the glove.

"Removing the glove" is... now a signal for the start of a sweet night,

Usually, I'm the one whose breath is taken away by his gesture of removing it, but––.

Alfons: ––Ah... you're very good at that.

As I slipped off the glove, Alfons' bare hand was revealed.

I dropped the leather glove onto the bed and rubbed my cheek against his palm.

Kate: Hmm...

Alfons: Oh... I thought you were seducing me, but are you just being affectionate?

Kate: ...I'm imitating a cat.

Kate: You said you liked them... so I was observing.

Alfons: Aha, you're quite the diligent student.

Alfons: ––Nn.

The moment I licked his palm, Alfons' fingertips twitched in response.

(...!)

Alfons: ...Surprise attacks are cowardly.

(Was it because it was a surprise attack? Or...)

Kate: ...Hmm.

As if to confirm, I put his fingertip in my mouth this time.

Alfons: ...Nn... ha...

As I ran my tongue over it, a sigh escaped Alfons' lips.

Kate: ...Are your hands weak...?

Alfons: No... I don't think they were, but...

Alfons: ...When I think you're doing it on your own... it tickles.

(...!)

Alfons' reaction made me happy, and the core of my head melted sweetly.

Pretending to forget my embarrassment––,

I licked his finger from the base to the tip of the nail, just like Alfons does, teasingly entwining my tongue.

Kate: Hmm... ha.. is it just... ticklish?

Alfons: ––No.

Alfons: It feels very good.

(...I'm glad.)

Kate: I found a weak spot that makes you feel good, Alfons.

With my head melted in joy, I put his fingertip in my mouth again.

––That was the trigger for the reversal of the situation.

Kate: Nnn..ah!

Alfons: ....When I'm twisting and turning between your tongue like this, it feels like when I'm stirring inside you and it gets me even more excited.

Kate: Nnn, uhh....mmm--!

Alfons: Oh, so you like to be rubbed on top of me as well as inside, do you?

As he freely stirred in my mouth, Alfons narrowed his eyes in ecstasy.

Alfons: Hey, Kate... Shall I teach you more about the weaknesses that makes me feel good?

Kate: Hmm, uh...?

Alfons: I like the feel of your soft hair when you come to me sweetly in the morning.

Alfons: If I were to be selfish, that timing is the best.

Alfons: And the pain from when you scratch my skin because you can't stand the pleasure anymore. I like feeling that so much.

Alfons: And when you're about to come, you like to kiss me with your tongue.

Alfons: I also like it when you say you can't take it anymore, but then you push your hip against me and beg me for more.

Kate: Hmm... huh, what... hmm...

Alfons: ...When I bully you like this by saying embarrassing things,

Alfons: You'll sulk and turn your face away, pouting your lips, right? I'm also weak to that profile.

Alfons: Ah, right now, my fingers are in the way, so you can't hide your face, can you?

Kate: Hmm... huh...

His fingertips pull out of my lips, eliciting a slurping sound.

Alfons: Do you understand what I'm saying?

Kate: Ahh....nnn, ahh....?

The pleasure of him playing with my mouth, and the flood of words filled with love and desire pouring into me at the same time made my head spin.

Alfons: I think I have a weakness for you.

Alfons licked my wet fingertips and laughed.

Kate: That's... unfair.

Alfons: Ah ha! What is?

Kate: Saying things like that... it makes me so happy I could forgive you for anything.

Alfons: Isn't that a good thing? Please forgive me for everything.

With a gentle push to the shoulder, I fell back onto the bed.

I couldn't put any strength into my legs, so I parted them and hung them loosely,

and Alfons licked my wet spot from the bottom to top.

Kate: Ahh...!

Alfons: Do you get this turned on just from me sucking on this spot?

Kate: I... I mean...

Alfons: I'm going to lick you a lot. I know all the weak points that can make you come.

-

Kate: …… Hehe

Roger: You're in a good mood, lil lady. Did something good happen?

Kate: I found out Alfons' weakness.

Roger: Dirty jokes at the breakfast table? You're full of energy.

Kate: N-No, that's not it...!

Kate: …… He said that I was his weakness.

I'm so happy, my chest still feels warm when I think about it.

(Maybe more than I think...)

(Maybe he's fallen for me so much that he won't even look at anyone else...)

(Is that being a little too careless?)

Alfons: Kate, did you already tell that man over there about my weakness?

Kate: Eek!?

Suddenly, a breathy voice whispered in my ear, and I jumped up and turned around.

Alfons was leaning back in his chair, his eyebrows furrowed as if to blame me.

Alfons: I thought it was our secret... You're a cruel person.

Kate: Eh!? I-I'm sorry...!

Alfons: No, I won't forgive you.

Alfons rested his cheek on the back of the chair and smiled mischievously.

Alfons: I'm jealous. Please cheer me up.

(Oh no... I was tricked again.)

Even after all the embarrassing things he did to me last night,

And even though I haven't learned my lesson, he's still playing me like this today.

Kate: I understand. …… I'm sorry for talking about it without your permission. I love you, Alfons.

Alfons: That's not good enough. More passionately.

Kate: Don't get carried away...

But in the end, I'm the one who forgives him for everything––,

Maybe I'm the one who's weak to Alfons.

FIN

-

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[Return to Ikevil Masterlist]

[providencehq]

I really adore the idea of Danny seeming really confident and overall having a grasp on getting along in his fake identity for a new start in Gotham. Only for it to be quickly realized he's putting on a really good act and some simple investigation unravels it all (or, most of it.) Like facts are not matching up enough for his fake identity and when members of the bat family look into why this is for him they're quickly realizing that it's maybe a shotty identity because it was hastily put together but a teenager.

Faking his age enough to be a legal adult (18) so he can control over himself? Check. Faking only part of his name because he's still attached to his old life and won't admit it? Check. Leaving no paper trails and only paying in cash? Check. Refusal to participate in things that may lead to his identity or lack of one be discovered? Check. Kid also being 15/16 at most and being shit at hiding it physically, he cannot pass off as anything else than a young teenager but all documents say otherwise? Check.

Tim and Barbra quickly notice how he covered solely for himself. At least Tim was able to fake an uncle (temporarily), Danny isn't able to fake any information aside from the basics in regards to any family. It's quick to tell he's good at faking information but he's nowhere near the skill of Tim and Barbra. Once they find a single sliver of actual information on Danny and figure out who he really is, it opens a lot of questions while closing others. It also makes getting an eye and overall some semblance of control over the mysterious Danny situation they have on hand.

Like, Tim and Bruce at the very least are going to trick Danny to come into Wayne Enterprises to discuss his scholarship and hit him with "hey, we can't exactly give a scholarship to a person who doesn't exist, we know you are hiding from something by looks of our research. People don't fake new lives for the hell of it. We will however help you with whatever is going on, give you the scholarship, if you tell us what is going on." Danny of course is like, ah, no, I'm going to bail. But of course is cut off by Bruce suggesting that if he leaves without accepting their help, they'll be forced to report him and he'll be a ward of the state at best. That some investigation will happen because them finding out that Danny Fenton is considered dead before he was abled to be transferred to the care of a Vlad Masters, that is parents and friends are dead, and is overall an orphan is a big deal. ESPECIALLY when Danny Fenton is pretending to be Danny Duxo, a legal adult, and out on his own in Crime Alley and barely scraping by to be able to get to college.

They force his hand of course and accepts their help (and basically becomes a ward of Bruce Wayne). Danny convinces them that he will have Bruce acting as a guardian for him but he gets to remain at his apartment, he doesn't want to lose his tech he's working on but he's also afraid of anyone learning about his ghostliness. Does this work out? No, not for long. After a few weeks of being on his own and going out at night as a vigilante, injuries catch up with him. Jason comes by a few times a week to drop food off and comes into Danny one day bandaging some pretty nasty wounds. He brushes it off as some malfunction with some tech he's messing with but that incident causes him to be relocated to the Wayne manor so if an injury does happen, he's not alone.

And to think, none of this would be happening if he was better at faking an identity. He should have honestly asked for Technus' help for that and maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. This is all just surrounding his human identity too! Oh my god, the bats are going to freak when they find out Danny is way more than human and also a vigilante!