#you literally indirectly blamed yourself

[qcoded]

Small Analysis on Belos/Philip, and the many chances at Redemption he missed.

I think the reason why I loved the scene in Watching and Dreaming were The Collector hugged Belos while saying "I get it! You just need kindness and forgiveness, huh?" was because it encapsulated perfectly how many chances Belos didn't take to fucking redeem himself.

I think we all kinda know that if he was just self aware, and reflected on the shit he did for ONE damn second, maybe, just maybe he could have turned out way better than what ended up happening.

Analyzing his backstory and what we can decide actually happened with Caleb (mostly based on all the pictures that were released from Hollow Mind with additional ones), it's not like he was ever exempt from sympathy, don't get me wrong.

Can't really go into the reality that Caleb, being Philip's sole guardian, most likely abandoned him to go with Evelyn into the Boiling Isles (not with bad intentions but still) since THAT'S a whole 'nother can of worms, but like hey! It's fucking understandable, who wouldn't be hurt by that?

But at the same time, what Belos decided to do, it was all on his own accord.

It was all his own decisions tha he could have actually thought on but no! He was too stuck in his delusional beliefs.

Could have stopped anywhere. After he killed Caleb. After he was tricking and offing witches and demons. After the whole encounter with Luzura/Luz and Gertrude/Lilith. After the making of the Grimwalkers began. After instilling glyphs on witches.

There are probably more examples, but basically, Belos had so many damn chances.

But nope! Never took them.

And again, The Collector was so willing to forgive him, even after manipulating and using this kid for centuries on end. After all the horrific shit that Belos has done, there was still a sliver of hope for him to actually just think, 'What am I doing? '

Of course, that didn't happen. It was a 'Friendship is Magic, but gone wrong' and he attempted to kill The Collector once again.

You know what's the best part of this? That there's a scene that just adds onto what I'm saying perfectly.

Later on when Luz revived into the super cool form that is Titan!Luz, she ripped out Belos from the titan's curse. And when he reformed again, he turned into his Philip Wittebane look.

And he had the fucking audacity to blame that dark magic (presumably his curse) was the one who made him commit all those horrendous acts.

This would make pretty much be his very first, and only attempt towards redemption.

But the thing is, it's too late.

Belos threw out his very last chance at redemption with The Collector.

And now? He has nothing more but than to deal with the ultimate consequences that have been building up.

This is also why I'm not that mad that Belos wasn't shown to finally realize the severity of what he has done, or to feel all that built up guilt flow it.

It's because it shows amazingly how far up his ass he was in his beliefs that even when he was DYING, he was just too fucking stubborn.

The more ironic part, like I mentioned earlier, that 'dark magic' was pretty much just his curse. That I want to mention, is fucking SELF AFFLICTED. Belos was literally the one eating all those Palismen, which are the cause of the curse. He's quite literally blaming himself!

And even though he tried to claim that Luz somehow cured him, got quickly called out on his bullshit when the boiling rain revealed him to still be purely goop.

Till the last minute, he was trying to keep a facade that quite literally, crumbled.

TLDR; Belos ultimately gave up every chance to be a better person, and he pretty much got what was coming for him.

[riririnnnn]

I tried choking myself like this and oh boy it was such an awful experience—it felt as if someone had placed a really heavy stone over my head Don't try it, not worth it at all, I promise. 0/10, wouldn't recommend.

To choke yourself to the point where saliva is pooling out of your mouth and for you to cough like an asthmatic person, your airway passage must be blocked which means that this dude was really going at it.

So, let's talk about him:

What Kaiser has for Isagi now isn't rivalry anymore, it has become a near obsession and keeping their ship aside, they actually have a pretty unique kind of relation—they both want to get ahead in the path of their soccer career and un/fortunately, they both just happen to be the best stepping stone for eachother right now.

Since the very first time Kaiser was introduced, he had made it clear that Isagi was some sort of a pawn for him to get ahead in his soccer career and that's what Ness also said here:

And Kaiser's words seemed to match Ness' words too:

And I don't blame Kaiser for choosing Isagi to be his rival.

You see, it's tough to truly understand how much impact Isagi's goal had in the BLLK universe. The investors and club owners were literally putting pressure on Noa to make Isagi play—defeating such a boy and proving that you are better than him is a perfect way for literally anyone to increase their value; it fits even well for Kaiser since they both are in the same age group too.

But, the recent chapters, especially after BM Vs Ubers match ended, confused me more. Royale Madrid/Re Al is said to be the strongest/best soccer club in the whole world in BLLK universe, so it indirectly means that Kaiser's value increased—it actually did increase though, about ¥20 millions and Ness' reaction perfectly sums what I want to say:

Kaiser achieved what he had came for in NEL to achieve.

However, we all know what his reaction was: he didn't care, all he cared was that he was inferior to Isagi.

...why?

Like, it just doesn't make sense. He got what he wanted. Besides, Kaiser has a value of ¥320M meanwhile Isagi is still behind Rin and Rin is himself behind Kaiser by ¥100M+! Further, every team has man-marked Kaiser right away! He is already perceived as some kind of threat by every opponent team, what more he wants? Is it some pride thing of boys that I don't understand?

It just feels.. weird.

If Kaiser were to be a real narcissist, then I don't think that he would've accepted so easily that Noa is better than him and that he can't compete against him.

The above statement sends me back to this again:

Chris words can be considered as something said just to provoke Kaiser which worked a bit too perfectly well. I don't know why, but the above panel seems much more important to the story, especially to his character when we glance at this panel:

Just.. what the heck is this guy's backstory!?

I must say that he is very well written and honestly, when Blue Lock Manga ends, Kaneshiro-san can literally make a spin-off of him and the Fandom will inhale it instantly. I wish Itoshi brothers had one too.

.

.

.

When NEL starts in the anime, I hope an official BLLKTV/BLLKTWT app gets launch. Istg it'll be a massive hit.

[gavisuntiedboot]

Gavi Fluff Alphabet

The long awaited and highly requested. I can't bring myself to write smut rn tbh. Like my head is pounding and I'm about to vom. So sexy. Please keep expectations in the dirt so I can exceed them with my sleepy writing.

~~~

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

I don't think Pablo is the type to show much affection in public

He's still quite young and shy, not eager to be teased in person or online about PDA

I think affection in public would be limited to hand-holding, maybe a side hug

Even the gentlemen stuff would escape him in an effort not to come across too sappy.

Like he'll hold your bags, but you're getting your own doors

In private though? Man is a teddy bear

Attached to you

Always wants to be touching you in some way - sitting too close, laying on your lap, anything

Will actually pout if he's not given kisses and affection hourly

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

Scary dog privileges but as a person

Would always be FaceTiming you just to have your presence there in the background

Sends you at least 20 tiktoks a day because they remind him of you

Always pays when y'all are out

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

Absolutely necessary

Actually so touch starved that he might die without some quality time from you

Started out with you wrapping yourself around his shoulders to get his attention (since he's confirmed always on his phone)

Now you'll be minding your business and feel him wrap his arms around you

Like to be the baby, laying on top of you, getting his hair played with

Prefers when neither of you have a proper shirt on so the two of you can share body heat

Must be a separate activity from sleeping - Gavi get's too hot and restless in his sleep to cuddle

Age regression - literally a little puppy when he’s in your arms, responding in nods and whimpers

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they around the house?)

Pablo cannot imagine settling down right now

He loves his youth and his job and his freedom

But looking at you in his house, laying on his couch or waking up next to him, he thinks he could get used to this

Quite lazy around the house tbh

Regular teenage boy; does the bare minimum to not be living in filth

Very good about one thing: dishes.

Fun fact: gavi seems like the type to be afraid of cockroaches and other critters, so he’s amazing at doing everything to prevent them from entering his house

Baby steps towards domesticity: letting you stay over, then buying you a toothbrush, then a drawer, then a key to the front door

e = ending (if they had to break up with their s/o, how would they do it?)

Pablo is not good at feelings or confrontation

So if he ever needed to break up with a girl, he would do it indirectly

Probably over text or through a phone call, because he doesn’t know how to handle heartbreak

If it was in person, he would do it in public, buying you a meal or coffee before breaking the news

He would always repeat how it’s a problem with him, how he needed to figure himself out, and how there was no blame on you

Getaway car waiting outside

f = fiancé (how would they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

Rather terrifying prospect for pablito

Wants to have his own accomplishments in his career before he looks to lock you down

Type to give you a promise ring on a necklace

“Princesa, im going to be the best someday, and you deserve nothing but the best. So wait for me until I get there?”

Not the type to do long engagements - as long as it takes to plan the wedding and that’s all

Once he proposes, he wants you to be his as soon as possible - Mrs. Gavira can’t come soon enough

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically? Not so gentle

Forgets that he’s gone through a bulk period and he now has a lot of muscle

Still play fights like he’s a scrawny 14 year old, occasionally being too harsh

Everything is a little too intense but that’s what makes it Gavi

His hugs are a little tight on your ribs, his grip restricting the blood flow to your hand slightly

But you love it all the same because it’s him

Emotionally tho? My man is a marshmallow over an open flame

Still young and rather volatile - emotions are right on the surface

His happiness is immediate and overflowing, radiating even

But when he’s sad or anxious? His whole being changes

Sad eyes, dropped shoulders, crossed arms - be was a different person

Tries to be as gentle as possible with your feelings because he didn’t want to lose you or compromise what y’all have

Also wants to establish a dynamic where you two are gentle with each other

Because otherwise he’ll break down and close off from you entirely

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

Any Gavi girl knows what I’m about to say

Man loves hugs

Adores them

Occur every time he sees you

What type of hug?? Girl

You know the one

One arm around the waist, securing you to his chest

The other around your head, bringing you in gently to rest beneath his chin

And of course it’s couple with that little smooth on the side of the head

For hello, good bye, good luck, and I L*** Y**, this was his delivery message of choice

Sometimes Pablo will pull you in for long hugs where he can just breathe you in, enjoying the feeling of you in his arms

Always ended with a sweet kiss on the top of your forehead, eyes meeting yours to describe what you should call your situation

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

Okay so someone please educate me - is saying I love you like a big moment in other cultures?

Like I’m Arab, and saying بحبك for the first time is not a huge thing

So I think that would influence when he says it out loud

But I think Pablo would take a while to realize that he’s in love

He’s young and doesn’t really understand the feeling of being in love with someone else

I think it would take a good 6-8 months before he would be able to look at you and think “wow. So this is what being in love feels like.”

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

Controversial opinion: I don’t think Gavi would be the type to get jealous quickly

I know I know but before you get the pitchforks lemme explain

Everyone talks about how Gavi doesn’t get nervous or really doubt himself

He knows he’s hot shit okay?

Both on the field and off, he’s confident in what he brings to the table

So when he gets a girl, he’s gonna be confident in that as well, knowing that he was able to pull her

He gets a kick watching guys flirt with you, because he knows that you’ll never give them the time of day

The only time he might get jealous is when you fawn over another man in front of him

Especially if it’s another footballer

He’s the type to pout and get quiet, scowling at the thought of you all giddy about someone else

Would pull you onto his lap and ask you in a soft voice

“You’re happy with me right?”

Just needs a little bit of reassurance that he’s doing everything in his power to be the best for you

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss their partner? where do they like to be kissed?)

Not to be predictable, but I think he would love kissing you on the neck and the forehead

Like he seems like the type to give you affectionate kisses on the cheek and stuff rather than kissing on the lips all the time

The type to kiss the back of your hand, the top of your head, your bare shoulder

Just a thousand little pecks everywhere

Will grab your face with both hands and give you a fat kiss when he’s feeling excited

otherwise, he’s quite gentle in the way he kisses you

Soft lips moving against yours slowly, takes a while to warm up to intense making out (in the session not overall - hes 18 )

Likes to be kissed on cheek and on the neck

Loves when you sit on his lap and kiss him deeply

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

You’d think he’d not be great with kids because he’s young and kind of aggressive

But you and me both have seen the videos of him in the hospital

So sweet and gentle with the young ones

Loves to pick them up and put them on his shoulders

Very patient with little kid nonsense

Can’t help but think about having his own kids one day

Tells you off handedly that’s he’s excited to be a father one day

“You think our kids will be good at football?”

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

Hectic

Very energetic in the morning on account of having training so early

Always practically jumping out of bed ready to go

Wakes you up by squeezing you tightly and kissing all over your face

Makes sure you eat in the morning no matter how much you object

n = nights (how are nights spent with them?)

On weekdays, Pablo is fucking tired

Comes home ready to pass the fuck out from training

Lots of eating dinner on the couch and lazy nights

Ready to go to bed by like 10pm

Gets very childish and cranky when he’s tired - lots of pouting and whining to go to sleep

On weekends, he’s a little more enthused

Ready to go out to a restaurant or club with you and have fun

Still keeps things within limits - no blacking out or throwing up

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves?)

A while y’all

Pablo is a great listener - loves to hear about you and your interests

But about himself? He’s not a fan

Gets too shy and nervous - thinks he’s boring or bothering you with details about his life

Stuff will slip here and there when he’s stressed, and he starts blushing immediately upon realizing he’s over shared

Starts warming up to you 3-4 months in, just with little tid bits about his family and early life

More likely to speak to you when you were cuddled up, playing with his hair, running your fingers up and down his arm

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

Be for real y’all

My man has little to no patience

Very short fuse

Was a major point of tension early in the relationship

Quick to anger, but also quick to calm down

Doesn’t dwell on things and it’s always ready to move on

Learning to be more calm and patient with you

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about their partner?)

Takes learning about you very seriously

Always super interested when you speak, completely taken by you

Makes notes in his phone about everything: your favorite flowers, dream vacation spots, and more

Interestingly enough, forgets super simple things about you, like your favorite color

r = remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

There were so many little domestic moments that Gavi loved experiencing with you

But the one moment he treasured the most with you was the first time you went to Sevilla with him

Your laughter, your energy, just lit up his hometown

He loved watching your interactions with his family and friends

You both were laying in bed in his parents’ house, just laying with you and being silly when you talked about how much you missed the beach

“The beach is only like an hour away. We can go tomorrow morning if you want.”

You looked at him with wide eyes, smiling from ear to ear

The following morning, you woke up to Gavi running around

He already had everything packed in the car

His newly licensed ass drove you to the beach, and you just played around like kids

You sat on the sand, laying on Pablo’s shoulder

“Pablo, this is the best day ever.”

He pushed your hair behind your ear and kissed you deeply

His heart physically swelled whenever he thought about that moment

s = security (how protective are they? would they like to be protected?)

Super protective of you when he feels like you could be hurt

Whenever you two were out at somewhere rowdy, he always had a hand on you

Ready to fight anybody that touched you

Honestly felt a little emasculated whenever you tried to protect him

Got irritated whenever you fussed over him and his injuries

Started to warm up to it after he got a cut on his face, liking you babying him and being so close to his face

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Initially, he wasn’t trying very hard

Just being a teenager really - simple dates and texting a lot

“Pablo, when are we going to go on a real date?”

The question threw him off immensely, causing him to consult his teammates about what classifies as a date

He realized he had been severely lacking in the effort department

Started trying harder - restaurants, cute picnics, thoughtful gifts

You had started thinking he had done something wrong and was trying to compensate

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Homie is a S L O B

Like does not pick up after himself at all

Not a problem until you start staying over at his place

He has to remove piles of clothes from the bed just for you two to sleep

He’s also always on his phone

Can’t put it down

Can get really annoying when you’re trying to talk to him and he’s staring at his screen

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

In the face, Gavi is not supper confident in his looks

He’s a little insecure that he still looks so young

Wants to look more mature

His body tho????

Yeah, homie knows he’s fine

FOINE

He’s worked hard on his physique, and so he’s confident in the fruits of his efforts

Loves sitting shirtless around the house

You catch him staring at himself in reflective surfaces

Would never say it out loud, but knows he’s got a body to drool over, and uses it to his advantage

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

I don’t think so

Gavi needs to play football to be complete

That’s the only thing I think he could lose that would make it feel like a piece of his soul was missing

You didn’t complete his world - you were a different world entirely

When you weren’t around, it just felt like he was stuck in a routine

x - xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

Pablo loves seeing you in Barça merch

He just thinks it’s the culmination of all his life coming together when he sees you in the blaugrana

You have a pair of Barça sweats that be especially loves

Literally so careless with all your clothes except your merch

Washes it per label instructions, never rips it off you - the whole nine

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

Hates people who are stuck up

Needs a girl to be down to earth - he’s not making that much money

Can’t deal with anyone uptight either - needs someone willing to just go with the flow

z = zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

As mentioned previously, gets very hot in his sleep

Can’t cuddle or be too close because man will sweat and stay up all night

Has had a habit of kicking the blankets off since he was a kid

Had to adjust when you started staying over because you would be freezing and curled into a ball in the morning

Has the room super cold and sleeps basically naked when you’re there so he doesn’t get the urge to kick the sheets to the floor

~~

Guys I’m so sleeeeeepyyyyyyyyyy so hope your expectations were low. Also just realized that people schedule things to be posted. Like not everyone posts their fics the second they finish at crackhead hours like me. Oh well.

[thequietkid-moonie]

Darling has a really bad memory

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Yukito Tsukishiro ]

[ Card Captor Sakura ]

⚠️ Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, is just for entretaiment

Requested by my dear friend @ladyel1x1r3l0p3r

My first time writing for a yandere ccs character and I have to admit that i love it completely!

I have to write more often for ccs!!! Is literally one of my favorites mangas ever!!! I'll try to write more, I promise

Yukito is the kind of person who despite his love being too intense it can go unoticed easily by how kind and gentle he is with everyone, is quite obvious the lovestruck for his darling but is easily brush off. Also, Yukito may not be the smartest person but somehow he always has an idea of whats going with his darling, if Yukito loves someone then Yue does it too, and even if he haven't being able to fully awake due his new master weakness that doesn't stop him to lead Yukito to pay close attention to his darling

For Yukito is so easy to get close to his darling that it just feels so natural for him to get into every aspect of his darling's life, anything that is important or brings you troubles then is now important and his trouble too, he invades your privacy and even gainins more and more control over your life but since he does it with gentleness it becomes easy to fall into his charms. Despite the fact that Yukito doesn't really intent to be posesive and manipulative over his darling deep down is what he wants and he is following his heart (being also Yue's influence)

Despite how concerning can be his darling's bad memory Yukito will never see it as something bad, even if you have troubles remembering simple things like your own name is fine, what if you have to take a few minutes to try to remember his name? is fine, he will wait with a smile until you remember, what if you forget escential things or take too much time to do things because you can't fully remember? don't worry, he can be at your side at all times to help you remember!

Yukito will never be bothered nor mad at you for not being able to remember some things, and honestly he is indirectly taking this oportunity to make you dependent of him, don't worry your pretty head because he can be at your side to guide you through your day, being there to fill in the gaps in your memory with his words and instructions, he doesn't mind at all if he has to spend the rest of his life at your side helping you remember simple things, its fine, he gladly do so

As much as Yukito doesn't mind your problems with your memory Yue does, not that he blames you but he just gets worried sick everytime you forget something important, what if one of these days you forget how get back to home or forget something that can end up truly harm you? everytime something happens to you, even the smallest thing, Yue has the impulse to come out and hold you close, even if he has to force Yukito to transform and hurt him in the process he doesn't care, as long as he can make sure he is there to protect you and that you wont leave him like his previous master then is fine, he doesn't care about anything else when it comes to your safety

Yukito and Yue indirectly agreed that he most never leave your side to ensure your safety, but Touya is the one who can see through Yukito's kindness and try to talk him out, letting him know how unhealthy this relationship can get since it will become of dependence for both parts, but no matter how much Touya tries to reason with him Yukito never listen (and Yue gets defensive, so is not of help neither), so at the end Touya decides to just leave him be and try to help him with helping you remember as much as posible, at least to assure you wont harm yourself (and approve school, he can see your and Yukito's frustration when you aren't being able to retain information when studying)

Despite having so bad memory the fact that you are able to still remember things of your daily basis like your friends and family it bring him some relief, he feels happy for you and even more by the fact that you can actually remember him, and he gets incredibly flattered by the simple fact that you can remember things that has to be with him, something like saying his name without having to take too long can make him feel so much emotion that just end up feeding his love and dependence, so if you remember more things about him, like his birthday (or even anniversary if you two are together) it makes him feel more and more possessive

Once Yue can finally take his own form and use Yukito's body it wont take him long before make himself present to you, it doesn't even matter for him if he is being risky or even end up introducing himself to you before to his new master, with the problems you constantly are in he need to let you know that he will protect you as soon as posible, and this is a situation a little tricky because if you don't remember him Yue will be mad and even offended but if you remember him he will feel incredibly flustered and his possessive attitude will only grow, leading Yukito to also be more and more possessive with you

[thedoodlerreturns]

Reread thoughts part 3 (with a more reasonable time difference between the two)

I've finally reached the point in which shukichi has appeared. And just like every member of the Akai family, I love him so much.

Cuz like, he's so smitten with Yumi and everything, but he's also a really intelligent and observation person. He's the person Akai trusts enough to tell he is still alive even when no one else knows.

But honestly I just think him and Yumi are really cute lol.

Yeah girl, keep telling yourself that.

And now we have the local cone being a menace and terrorizing his friends.

Not that I wouldn't do this with my own friends. What good is friendship if you can record them indirectly confessing and play it back to them over and over and over again.

Then if course he does the same the haibara. Dude is a menace when he wants to be. Which is about 90% of the time honestly.

Yeah can't say I blame you, a 7 year old that is able to solve complex murder? I would be absolutely terrified. especially when he also seems to know how to operate every vehicle to ever exist, use a gun, and a million other things. I too would consider a kid on par with a member of a special police force, terrifying.

I also like how this is referred back to in the 22nd movie, Zero the Enforcer where he says that there are 2 people in the world more terrifying then him, and it's implied as Akai and our cone

Back to Yumi and Shukichi, I love them so much.

Like he keeps a little picture of her in his pocket. They're literally so cute. He loves her so much. And she tries to deny it (I dunno why honestly) but she cares for him too.

For this panel, I just like it a lot lol. No comments. Just a nice panel

Oh the irony. Also I don't know what this child has against glasses that he despises them that much. I mean, what have they ever done to him??

Also how has no one questioned why he wears glasses. Cuz I feel like it fairly obvious that they're perceptionless since haibara takes them all the time. And she doesn't use glasses. And wearing perception glasses you don't need messes up your vision (ie you can't see properly with them)

Okay thats all I've done so far, gotta clock out now, might reappear in a few days, who knows. Word vomit is indeed fun.

[bccky]

Souls Intertwined By Fate

Part 4

Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader

Summary: As soulmates, you can feel the exact intensity of pain as your other half when they get hurt. So what happens when your soulmate literally goes to hell?

Words: 1,588

Warnings: descriptions of death, mention of suicide, angst, full discretion is adviced

A/N: shoutout to my first member on BuyMeACoffee - Em! Thank you so much for your support, you've given me the motivation for this story 😊 // This is where the angst starts guys! Hope you all like this one Xx

Pairing:  Dean Winchester X Reader

<- PART 3

Supernatural Masterlist • Main Masterlist

Souls Intertwined By Fate Masterlist

Then - 

“Please give me a few minutes, Chris, I’ll come find you.” He gives you one final look, asking indirectly if you’re sure, and you nod with reassurance before he leaves.

“So Y/N, is it?” Dean asks, and you bite your lip.

“Yup. I guess we have a lot to talk about.” 

Now - 

“Sure we do. Is he your boyfriend?” Dean asks, glancing at the door that Chris just walked through.

“We have an arrangement.” You shrug, at which he exhales, as if out of relief.

You take a deep breath. “How about we chat somewhere else?”

Dean peers around like he just realized the murky alley you are in. “In the diner?” 

You shake your head. “Nope, lots of nosy people in a small town like this. Are you staying here for long?” 

It’s his turn to shake his head. “We are checking something fishy in the next town, we were just gonna eat and pass this one. Destiny I guess.”

Snorting you think, fuck destiny. You don’t want to make it feel any more real.

“There is a motel next door. Tell Gale my name and get a room for you, my shift ends in two hours.” 

You watch Dean talk for a bit while they eat and then walk out of the diner together, his eyes watching you until he no longer can.

Chris keeps on peeking at you throughout your shift, and you can’t blame him. The way the day had started did not give you a clue on what fate had in store for you.

You find yourself sighing a lot, but still have a fake smile plastered on to keep your patrons happy and get tips. Apart from this, you keep tuning out as you rely on muscle memory for the rest of the shift.

Panicking internally, while you try to be ready for the two serious conversations that are in store for you, and the first comes as you’re cleaning a table at the end of the day.

“Y/N?” Chris’s voice takes you out of your reverie, and you mentally prepare not to cry.

You two are alone in the diner, and although the last few weeks consisted of this alone time filled with kisses, this one is full of uneasiness. You hum and decide to focus on a particularly stubborn spot on the table.

“When were you going to tell me?” 

“Tell you what?” You still don’t look at him.

“About your soulmate.”

The dryness of your mouth is a telltale of your anxiety, and you gulp before answering. “I talked to him for the first time today.”

“And I’m sure it won’t be the last.” 

The crack in his voice finally makes you swivel and meet his gaze, seeing him to be on the verge of breaking down and your heart officially breaks for the first time.

“Chris, come on. I am not going anywhere” You keep the rag down, wipe your hands and close the distance between you before cradling his face.

Although you know that sentence holds no weight, all you want to do is comfort the guy who has opened his home and heart for you.

He kisses the palms of your hands as his hands encircle your waist. The way he tugs at you to get you just that little bit closer tells you that he doesn’t want to let you go, but he's made up his mind to.

“It’s not that complicated,” You try to interrupt him, but he shushes you with a kiss before continuing. “And you don’t have anything to explain. You met your soulmate, and you deserve to be happy with him.”

His intense blue eyes stare deep within your soul, and you’re afraid he’ll see how downright scared out of your wits you are.

“I have the option not to be with him, I’m pretty happy with you.” You say, and there are tears glistening in his eyes, threatening to come out.

You try to pick words that will minimize the hurt, but you know there’s not much you can do. It’s his way of saying goodbye, his way for closure.

“You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?” You ask in a lighter tone.

“I have. It’s not like I could just not pay attention to your little gasps at odd times.” He says. “You should tell Dean not to get into trouble so much, seeing as it hurts you too.” 

You giggle, as if you could tell a hunter to stay safe.

“I don’t deserve your kindness, Chris.” You mutter, and the dimples that you like so much appear on his cheeks.

“I just knew this day would come sometime or the later, I just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon.” 

This man has literally changed the way you see love, and if you hadn’t been so blinded by your quest to stay hiding from your soulmate, you would have realized it sooner.

“Besides,” he begins again, “I’m glad you found your soulmate before I found mine, it would’ve been harder for me to let go.” 

You and me both, you reply internally. But you settle on saying, “You are making it harder right now.” 

Chris chuckles, “it’s alright. I’ll be fine. Promise me you will take care.”

“Don’t say it like we’ll never see each other again,” you hit him softly.

“I have a feeling we’ll be very different people if we ever do.” He tightens the hug and you wrap your hands around him. “Go now.”

For the very first time since you’ve met Chris, he’s the first one to let go in a hug - and you don’t let go until you feel ready, the cloth of his shirt getting wet with your stray tears.

The walk to the motel has worn you down, but you know nothing can be harder than what you’ve just given up on with Chris.

Gale gives you a side eye when you ask where the two guys are situated. You pay no heed, just walking on towards Dean’s room and taking a deep breath before knocking.

“You’re here.” Dean says when he opens the door for you, and you muster up a smile.

“I’m here.” You repeat. 

He moves to the side, letting you in his two singles room.

Everything is clean and the beds made, like they haven’t used it at all, and the man with him is nowhere to be seen.

“You’re alone?” You ask, just to make sure.

“Yeah, Sam went out for a run.”

“Is he your partner?” This question echoes the same conviction like one he had asked about Chris.

He shakes his head with a disgusted look while leading you to sit on one of the beds before sitting opposite to you. “He’s my younger brother, we hunt together.”

“I see. So-”

“So-” You two start simultaneously, and laugh.

“You first.” Dean insists.

“Okay,” You bite your bottom lip, not knowing how he was going to take this, especially with the glance at your lips, but you have to say it. 

“Listen, Dean. As glad as I am that we found each other,” No, it’s all a lie. I wish we never met. “I cannot commit. I don’t want to be in a relationship.” I’m scared of getting hurt.

Seeming disheartened, he averts his eyes, “I understand. Where do you want to go from here?”

“I honestly don’t know.” You respond, “I mean, we can start from being friends? Get to know each other?”

You don’t know why but you feel like you owe him that much. 

Or rather, you owe it to Chris to try at the very least.

But when you had met Dean a few hours ago, there was a shine of hope and excitement in his eyes on finally finding a soulmate which you knew you never had. 

“I can work with that.” There is a flicker of a smile on his face. “So, not in the hunting game anymore?”

“Nope, had some personal reasons.” I met you. “I think I want to get in again.”

 “You can join us on this one.” Dean suggests, his hands fumbling with the buttons on his flannel. 

“Sam won’t mind?” 

He snorts, shaking his head. “He won’t.”

“So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” You get up, straightening out your clothes.

“Sharp at 9. Looking forward to it.” Dean gives you a toothy smile.

When you pull the door close behind you, you hear a soft murmur of ‘Looking forward to it… Couldn’t think of something better? Dumbass.’

You make the short walk from the motel to your shared apartment with Chris which is pretty much uneventful. But then, when you’re walking up the stairs, you end up meeting him just as he’s walking downstairs.

You’re both awkward as you stop.

“I - uh, saw your stuff was still in.”

“Yeah, I’m leaving tomorrow morning.” You look him up and down, wanting to remember him as he is for as long as you can.

There he stands, a good foot taller than you, in his usual jacket over a printed T-shirt style. A smile that was usually goofy was replaced with one tinged with sadness, one that didn’t reach his beautiful blue eyes as you are used to.

“You take care now, Y/N. And you can leave the keys next to our bed when you leave.” 

“Of course,” you nod with trepidation.

Chris takes your hand in his, and it’s when you notice the night bag on his shoulder. “Y/N just… Please don’t forget me.”

“I don’t think I can even if I wanted to, Chris. What you gave me, what we had, was special.” You try to soothe him with a quick squeeze.

With a last peck as he crosses you, he exchanges way more emotions than words ever could and finally bids you farewell. 

Part 5 (Coming Soon on Tumblr/ Read it on BuyMeACoffee Now!)

I’d love to hear what you think of it! Please like, reblog and comment to let me know Xx

I just started a BuyMeACoffee Page where you can read Chapter 4 right now! Its kind of an emotional one where you have a difficult conversation which will determine where you will go from here.

My Page also has the first chapter of a new Dean Winchester X Reader story with the following summary:

Best friends Dean and Y/N navigate a world of supernatural challenges and unspoken feelings. Sam, the ever observant brother, and Cas, the ever puzzled angel of the lord, discreetly encourage their romance through late-night talks, teasing, and shared hunts. As tension builds and emotions simmer beneath the surface, their journey unfolds through this story.

READ IT HERE- SECRETS OF A HUNTER’S HEART

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It’s okay if you can’t support me monetory-wise right now, even reblogging my fics help a lot!

Tags in reblog, please reblog this fic if you wanna be tagged in the next part Xx

Thank you so much for your support ♥

Yours Truly,

Vee 💕

[fleshwerks]

cont to the tween rook ask

And the most hilariously morbid thing is that it's exemplified in the game itself. Solas blames you for stopping his rite. Take responsibility is one of the first things Rook hears after their attempt to stop a god from destroying the world fails - it's spoken in Solas' voice, and it just gets indirectly amplified through each of his conversations.

So, essentially, Bioware have written a game where a teenager is blamed for their attempts to stop a rite that kills their entire world. Where this teenager is then placed into direct reliance on the same person who was the firestarter of said rite and where adults just seem perfectly dandy with throwing said teen to the possible funeral pyre if they fail, because they aren't doing shit.

God, this is both morbidly fascinating because it makes Veilguard finally look interesting and disgusting. Solas was a blight in the entire franchise.

Now that you put it like this, it's one of the endings as well. The 'bad ending'. Solas picks off your companions one after another and then angrily says 'now you're all alone'. And whose fault is that, Solas? Rook's? Rook didn't kill Emmrich and Neve. Solas did. Solas blamed Rook for fighting for their life and their home. If Solas had his way, he'd have both Rook and the Inquisitor just obediently lie down and die. It's literally nothing new. In Inquisition Solas has you sweep the road to your own graver clean, and then has the audacity to tell you to just accept your own demise by his hand. All mortals are 'teenagers' to Solas, motherfucker is thousands of years old.

His entire philosophy is: "Know your place. It is beneath me. If you step out of your lane, I will kill you, and I will blame you for it. Your first mistake was resisting. Your second mistake was failing at resisting. It's all your fault, but I won't even let you blame yourself. It's actually my fault, you never even mattered. I'll even take the blame from you. I take everything from you. And it's your fault."

[crazy56u]

Okay, I got two episodes to burn through (pun intended), and apparently we won’t find out until May if the show is getting renewed, so I’m a little peeved, but, here we go.

Last time on Quantum Leap: A whole bunch of Hannah.

Also, fucking Gideon indirectly forced Magic to throw himself under the bus.

Meanwhile in 2026/2024, Jen (in my head) spent a whole real time week trying to talk Magic out of this.

“I can’t imagine this place without you.” Well, if NBC decides to play fucking ball, maybe we won’t have to.

“Stay for one last leap?” “Not this time.” Show, I already said NBC was on thin ice with the on the nose shit.

And Ben leaps into that one level of Balan Wonderworld, so you know he’s in Hell.

“I’m a firefighter. Cool.” Ben, you are in the middle of a fire.

Oh goody, the TV committed suicide.

“We were testing my new circuit board-“ Either this kid is Hannah’s son, or he’s Kid Gideon. The literal only two options.

“Your dad is gonna be okay.” “That’s not my dad, he’s my neighbor.” Oh, so he can die then, cool.

“My dad died a couple years back. We all thought a heart attack would get him, but then he ran a red light.”

New Jersey fucking claims another victim…

“…mom, why are you looking like you know the firefighter? Does this have to do with that Cairo thing dad mentioned a couple years ago?”

And Ben is about to give Ziggy a stroke by exploring the stock market, and luckily Hannah is smarter than that.

Plot twist: Ben somehow caused that car accident.

“Hey, Ben, I know you’re in the middle of Hannah shit, but I gotta tell you about the Gideon plot now, sorry.”

Okay, so Ben’s guy is about to retire, shot in the dark, the leap has to do with him dying on the job.

Okay, I am now confident in my guess that this leap or the next will retcon Gideon from the plot if you’re doubling down on Magic “leaving”, I am confident.

“Whelp, I shoved a plant into a box, time to go.”

“You should have let them fire me.” Ian, no offense, but I am willing to bet Gideon is gonna demand all of you quit.

“Look, Jenn, I know you kept wanting me to not do this, so as a prize, you’re New Magic.”

So yeah, Magic is totally gone from the show for real, definitely gone- so anyway, back to Hannah.

“It’s been three leaps. I had some fun in the 80s.”

“Do I look old?” Hannah, you haven’t aged a day since 1948.

Ben, once again, unless you caused that car crash, stop blaming yourself.

Hannah is the key to Quantum Leap.

“This is the last episode I’m in, Ben. To celebrate, explosion.”

So, the plot has been hijacked by the Transformers, got it.

Okay, so now we’re doing The Towering Inferno.

CALLED IT

“Lady, stop acting like I’m talking to ghosts, I’m a firefighter, and you ain’t.”

“20 years of experience” is basically the Get Out of Jail Free card for this leap.

This is turning into the plot of a Webster episode…

How many fires has Hannah seen in her life, goddamn…

Ben, Hannah has seen Nazis and the ending of Red Dead Redemption, a fire ain’t nothing by comparison.

“The chagrined look on your face tells me Addison says I’m right, so I win.”

“HEY, WHEN SOMEONE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR, YOU ANSWER IT!” Fucking mic drop.

Great, now the fire is chasing you.

“We gotta go through the fire.” “Fuck that shit, even if this is our fault!”

And Gideon has been ripping out the wires… Or it’s because Ian had shit timing, either or.

And Hannah has decided this burning building needs a love triangle.

“The one thing I did that actually worked”, my ass. Ben, you kicked cancer’s ass last week.

“Look at this from a cosmic perspective.” Hannah, the last time someone said that in this show, they were looking to be stuck in the Imaging Chamber for 1600 years.

And now the Fire Sheilds are armed.

Hacking into the power grid to defend the rock, roll goddamn tide.

I love how this looks like a music video.

The fire is angry!

There, they escaped the music video.

…is Hannah gonna die this leap?

I actually admire the fact Jeffery didn’t sneak back inside to get Josh’s stuff. [And three… two… one…]

“I know I just inhaled a bunch of smoke, but I just solved the plot-” “Ben, the building exploded again, that means Jeffery snuck back inside.”

Ian is having his Khan moment, everyone is doing great mentally.

“Math’s just not mathin’.”

So, the DARPA code should be in a museum, got it.

Jenn, stop acting like Magic ain’t immediately coming back.

Hannah, it’s bad enough Ben keeps blaming himself for shit…

And now the fire is retaliating.

God is fucking pissed at you all this week.

“Look, I know I’m pinned, but Jeffery’s more important.”

If Hannah does this episode, then this is a shitty way to go, dear god…

And Hannah decides now is the time to solve the plot.

Jeffery, it’s your own fault this is happening, stop being bitchy.

Jeffery, if you don’t want to see a grown man cry, leave now.

ANNNNNNND THEY FORGOT TO GRAB THE DARPA FILE.

“Time isn’t a river. It’s an ocean. Hopefully you trapped that file from my apartment.”

And Hannah dies…

“Let me use my dying breath to fix your relationship problems.”

Crawling on the ledge of a burning building. If I had to do that, I would instantly die.

Yeah, Ian, just type shit!

…is that constant idea gonna be the thing to undo the time skip?

The only way is down. I would 100% die on the spot.

How is Ben not shitting himself in fear as he does this?

“I know you’re scared! I’m scared too!” NO SHIT

“Choose courage! Jump from the exploding building!”

“Let’s go save your mom!” Ummmmmm…

And back into the music video we go.

Oh, cool, Hannah still has life in her…

NBC, seriously, you need to renew this show.

And Ben gets bailed out by a mention of retirement.

“Tell her thanks. She knows.” Fuck yeah she does, she was the only one to solve the plot.

And Hannah’s code turns out to be Stop ‘n’ Swop.

And in comes the armed gunmen.

“I wanted Ian fired. Magic didn’t do that, so, fuck it.”

Hannah got a sneak preview to this movie, Ben, she doesn’t need to see it.

And Jeffery is about to learn about Ben.

I love how Hannah is getting the kind of goodbye montage a show does when a character dies… despite not being dead.

“I wrote DARPA code to get you home, Ben. I even had a file in my apartment containing the data, you grabbed it, right?”

“…lady, why was I hugging you?”

And Gideon decides to be an even bigger asshole than he was prior, so Addison decides to steal a gun.

Addison, don’t play chicken with the universe here…

…so, they have the spare keys to Beth’s house, I take it?

One down one to go. Gideon is 100% gonna get retconned.

[corruptratcat]

Hi heellloo!

It's me Ribzyz from wattpad :)

I've literally read like every chapter from your Headcannons or Oneshots books,and oh GOD DO I LOVE THEM.

Hshwjej Anywaysss-

I'd like to request pretty please!

What about a Es,Mahiru,Amane(platonic for Amane)x GN!Reader?

I was thinking of The scenario where Reader is determined Guilty,and you know,gets beaten up from Kotoko's attack.BUT,They actually die.That's it lol.

Soo Scenario+Angst!

Oh and please do not rush yourself to do this request!Take all the Time you need,and remember to drink,eat,and rest!

Also ignore this if you can't do this!(OR have a similar request!)

Hello! I hope you don't mind if I did headcanons instead cause it's multiple characters, and sorry for not posting for a long (a month ∑(ﾟДﾟ)) time! And thanks so much! This message means a lot to me <33 !!! Anyways here it is <3333333

Es, Mahiru, Amane(p) x gn!reader | headcanons

Angst | Reader that died by being beaten up by Kotoko

They feel, a lot of guilt from hearing this news, they know it's their fault for voting you guilty and voting her innocent, they want to do better cause of this and will 100% vote Kotoko guilty.

They'll cry for days losing someone they're close to, like you, they know that they've already felt guilt when their final verdict for you was guilty but...

Jackalope just watches not caring that much and telling Es that their verdict matters. The result of their verdict could lead to what, moments like these.

Es wants to improve, Es wants to do better, they're quite traumatized, even if they didn't get to see your death, they'll get angry when seeing Kotoko, probably be pissed when seeing her at their next interrogation with her, they know they'll vote her guilty anyways...

Es might overthink about the prisoners next move after this, they'll try to calm down but they can't, they feel as if they've also committed a sin, they indirectly murdered you... They need to do what's right.

She saw it all, honestly really traumatizing, if only she could've saved you in some way! If only it hadn't been this way. The moment when Shidou was unable to save you and she had watched you die, she kept crying, holding your dead corpse in her arms, the crying went on and it felt as if it never stopped

She's honestly more sadder than before, she doesn't know what to do without you, you were the one that genuinely made her a lot more happy in MILGRAM, but look at you now, gone.

She'll convince Es to make Kotoko guilty, even if Es had already been planning that ever since they heard about the beatings.

Honestly, quite sad that she's pretty much hopeless at this point, she's weak and she has lost someone that she loves, she can't even try to even smile no matter how she tries, even if she needs a hug you can't give it to her cause you're dead 😭 (I'm sorry)

Traumatized as well, actually everyone here is traumatized so what's the point of saying that, but aside from that hearing these news she's devastated, if only she prayed enough she could've saved you, but no, you weren't saved

She'll blame it a lot on Shidou and Kotoko, she'll be very aggressive to both, they caused the death of a person who cared for them and treated her like their little sister, she'll avoid them as much as possible.

She'll be, well of course very sad from this, even if the other prisoners tried to comfort her, they couldn't give the same amount of care as you did, you dying is like loosing something important, because you are important to her!

Instead of just convincing Es to make Kotoko guilty, she'll definitely convince Es to vote Shidou guilty as well, because medical treatment is useless to her, you need to pray to keep someone alive and healthy!

[that-darn-clown]

hello, i am in the mood to ramble about my Fnaf Rewrite, and i wanna just talk about it to someone instead of just making a post, so prepare yourself:

now, while the "official" (not really) title of this Rewrite is "Dandy's Interesting Fnaf Rewrite" (because i haven't thought of a name yet), it also has many unofficial titles, such as "William, For The Love Of FUCK Stop Traumatizing Michael (and your kids in general, but especially Michael)"

why is it called this? Have A List Of Shit William Put This Poor Guy Through:

y'know how Mother Gothel was in Tangled? tone her down a few notches and imagine she had actual "good" intentions with trying to protect Rapunzel. you've now got Rewrite!William post-the death of his wife. (his mindset: Paranoid About Your Children Also Dying? Simple! Just Manipulate And Emotionally Abuse Them Until They Associate Disobeying You With Very Negative Consequences! This Will Surely Not Backfire In Any Way!)

pretty much forced Mike to be the peacemaker/keeper in the household because William was too busy with other shit.

murdered Charlie, aka One Of Michael's Closest Friends/His Sister Figure. and he Then had to be one of the two people to discover her body after sneaking out to go to her party.

killed two of his friends' younger siblings, which fucked both of them up (especially Andrew, who was already in an abusive household and was basically blamed for his brother's death).

Literally Killed His Baby Brother In His Sleep And Then Lied To His Remaining Children About It.

decided to drag his children into working at Freddy's. y'know. The Place Where The Haunted Robots Kill The Employees At Night (x1)

did LITERALLY NOTHING while Jeremy was actively bleeding out from being bitten in the head, while Michael was having a panic attack and trying to get people to call an ambulance. the only comfort he gave Michael was a few pats on the back while waiting for paramedics and telling his Still Panicking son "I'm Sure He'll be Fine. Cassidy Was Fine" meanwhile Mike was dealing with Horrible Fucking Flashbacks from what happened to Cassidy. so y'know. The Reminders Were Not Appreciated At That Moment, Actually!

decided to drag his children into working at Freddy's. y'know. The Place Where The Haunted Robots Kill The Employees At Night (x2; Electric Boogaloo)

indirectly got Mike's older brother Alex killed by forcing him to continue working as a night guard, even after Alex said "Dad, I Think Cassidy Wants To Kill Me." YOU'LL NEVER FUCKING GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TWO DAYS LATER. AND WHO ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DISCOVERED THE BODY WAS.

Literally Tried Killing Michael, Or At The Very least Tried To Force Michael To Stay In The Building With Him Despite Mike Very Much Not Wanting To Deal With Him.

Literally Tried Killing Him Again (Fnaf 3).

...And Again. After Stalking This Poor Guy, His Boyfriend, And Their Roommate For Two Years (Fnaf 6).

haunted Mike from the grave. specifically from hell (please William, he's trying to get therapy and raise his kids and be happy with his husband)

so yeah. Michael's having. A Bad Time. but he gets a pretty happy ending, regardless! he gets to be the one who technically burned William in the end!! good for him!!

Sweet boy michael... why is it so satisfying to angst that boi up? This is fucking rad as always, my love

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

various sloda discourse, etc etc

i briefly touched on most of these before but this is my personal self-indulgend “I AM CORRECT NO ONE TOUCH ME” post about themes in the game, criticism i saw from others, and my own grudges with it

(warning for story spoilers) (of the whole game)

1. DUDE MADARAME IS FUCKED. THIS IS NOT LOVE

i cannot stress this enough. madarame does not love towa. madarame is a manipulative, deeply selfish, lonely person who specifically preys on the weak. i dont know if this is obvious to people who have never been abuse victims before and had to spent a large amount of time with people like him. he engages in multiple well-known abuse tactics: weakening towa and blaming it on him. blameshifting and gaslighting. specifically offering help afterwards to appear merciful. alienating towa from his friends to cancel out outside help. destroying towas sense of self, his sense of time, his ideals in life. destroying his confidence. at the start of the route towa hates everything about him, doesnt want to see him again, is grossed out by how much madarame violates him. at the end he is too destroyed to form coherent thoughts. anything that isnt being chained up and beaten and raped feels like a mercy to him. there is a reason madarame simply does not appear in the taku, rei, fujieda routes; towa has a social circle. he has support structures. it is harder to get to him. the only time madarame is able to successfully manipulate him, is when towa is in a downward spiral over indirectly killing someone and actively pushing others away. it also really is no coincidence to me madarame was drawn towards towa when he was young. towa was in a vulnerable spot: an older teen, who just escaped the most horrific past life, is caught up with the yakuza, and is extremely prone to selfharming. to a 30-ish year old madarame, he was an easy target to overpower. at the end of the day its all power games and feeling superior to him.

the game literally spells this out. over and over and over. there is nothing beautiful about it. it is a telling character study and explains a lot about their history and the world. but it is not a romance story.

like. dont romanticise this. be very very vigilant how much madarame isnt just gaslighting towa but you. learn about this behaviour and become a more mindful person through it.

2. towa, as a character, is the most satisfying creation

my boy towa. he is such a character. he is not the type i usually love but i am so so strongly captivated by his very special nature.

it is made so so easy by the game to put yourself in towas shoes. sometimes you play through a part only to realize the depths of what happened earlier bc you suddenly snapped out of towa brain. at least thats what it felt like to me.

he is strong and he is weak and he is manipulative but also brutally and compassionately honest. and it never feels out of place. i cannot describe how much i love this skrunkly. i especially love when he gets chattier later into a route... when you can tell he acts like a loner but loves his friends and loves to have people around him. he is a hot mess but he takes his meds and works his silly little job. they really captured the perfect image of a person who has given up on everything but underneath it all there is still a drive. there is still so much will to live.

i also feel like most people probably drastically changed their opinions on him while playing through the whole game. you learn and grow with him. theres a real sort of connection.

3. WISH IT WASNT A PORN GAME

slow damage, for all its rawness and aspirations, really gets held back by being sold under the premise that theres a set amount of porn scenes in every route. this is especially rough to read and sit throught in the madarame and foujieda routes but its odd for the other two as well. i understand there must be a certain amount of consistency if youre trying to sell a product, especially if you are nitrochi and, well, known for dick and balls. but at best it feels very out of place in this carefully crafted self-aware universe and at worst it just comes across as straight up offensive.

there were many times where i thought that either not having a sex scene at all would have been more meaningful (fujieda route, after towa almost killed himself. AT LEAST LEAVE THE CUM DIGGING OUT. or let towa do it himself. GOD.) or focussing on towas feelings instead of eroticism would have been better from a storytelling standpoint (madarame) and more tasteful.

I ASSUME this is as much a problem with boys love/vn media in general as it is with this game. though i cant say i read much BL. because i am not interested in reading about trama porn and shock value, which are an infamous stereotype. there is a time and place for graphic content but i feel like normalizing it and making it fapping material (sorry for my cringe wording) is really offensive and just damaging to readers in the long run.

4. the gender of it all

i have been thinking about this for a while and i think the localization team really made a great effort with getting the gender of characters across. imo, it would have been perfectly reasonable to have rei use she AND he pronouns throughout the story. though, see the point above, i dont know how limiting the genre is in that regard. and i do appreciate they really captured reis like... quirky bubbly personality and she and the gang do collectively go by “girls” a couple of times, iirc. it would have also been fine to use she/her for honami, junko, and arashi but i really Really love them all going by they/them as well. i did not expect them to be such heartfelt precious characters without transphobic violence ever being a topic and it was a breath of fresh air and so wonderful. their little clique truly is such a source of love and courage in the story. usually universes without any sort of bigots feel fake BUT in an enviroment like shinkomi it doesnt feel out of place! at least to me. you see all kinds of diverse people there. i do not doubt for a minute that the transgender community background of this city is probably the best thing about it LOL

in general, i did not expect gender to be such a big topic in general. reis development is interesting to watch and analyse. why does him becoming masc happen here but not in other routes? is this truly the end to the rei gender journey? is this party brought into place bc rei identifies moreso as a gay man than a woman here? lots to think about!!! not in a negative way at all, i think reis struggle with gender performance was really relatable+well executed.

ADDITIONALLY the fujieda bad end provides such an interesting take on this conglomerate between towa and his mother. the switches between pronouns were FANTASTIC and such punches in the gut. i absolutely LIVE for this monstrous uncomfortable weirdly gender creation and the little touches of “i thought there stood a woman....” and “it didnt matter to me if it was him or her”

5. somewhere between high empathy and cognitive dissonance

ngl, it is not inherently something i like but i am absolutely obsessed with the slight hypocrisy in the storytelling. (affectionately. they did well for what they had written out.)

shinkomi is a city filled with the impoverished, the disadvantaged and underprivileged, the sick and the preyed on. this is often mentioned and shown to be the case in the background, yet all the characters we meet live under stable circumstances. the danger never touches us, it is merely a setpiece. yet we are supposed to understand how rough life there is.

IN FACT CLASS IS SO IMPORTANT TO THIS UNIVERSE that i want to argue it was not necessarily the scars that helped fujieda and towa to bond, they were just a visual cue that thematically fit into the story. what really lifted any reservations between them was the recognition that fujieda comes from less than stellar place as well, that he has known a socially and financially unstable and dangerous enviroment. it eradicates fujiedas standing as a member of the upper class and makes him approachable.

mentioned under point 3: the underlying evil of the game is the sexual and physical abuse towa suffered in the past. yet current sexual abuse is often written to be sexy and appealing. it is quite dishonest

there is no love interest that does not have blood on their hands yet the only one to speak about his grief is taku. this makes sense because as a doctor, his sense to do good is deeply ingrained into his person, it is simply in character to do so. but shouldnt rei get to have a heart to heart about the people she had to beat in moneymatches, at the very least?

eiji as a character is this whole concept personified LOL i like him a lot

6. alas, fujieda is still in the trenches

slow damage really managed to cleanly wrap up so many little sideplots and the main mystery and tragedy surrounding towa and his mother was executed absolutely beautifully.

but alas, fujieda stayed in the trenches. he very much comes across as a side character to towa in the final route. yet he has his own trauma, his own regrets about his past, his own unresolved struggles. the end very much hints towards him and towa slowly healing together but ah.... i cant help but think i would have loved to see more that vulnerable side of him more...

from what i have heard about the artbook story (havent been able to check his afterstory drama cd out yet! but i definitely plan to listen to it eventually), it took half a year for him and towa to get physical again. thats so... strangely calming. the entire time throughout the post-shower scene i couldnt help but think they are searching for warmth but also slightly retraumatizing eachother. bro.. the sweet pain of seeing him readjust towas hands and face if he touched or kissed him in a wrong place. gently and quietly. without saying anything. you could tell he is still deeply hurt and was using the skills from his own undesirable past just to please towa. its very sacrifical in that way. this sounds like im not talking about what was really just a prostate massage but yeah. anyway.

i cant help but think fujieda hates sex. not that he dislikes intimacy. and he certainly seems to adore towa. but he has clear limits. sad but also nice to see, i think??? i love the vulnerability of it.

7. jast usa made a lifelike translation and everyone hated them for it

OK YES!!! YES!!! I DONT SPEAK JAPANESE!! but talking about it with my friends who do......... idk man i think they just tried to create a lifelike translation and put some funnies in there. its honestly fine. also on behalf of the very consistent they/themming i am willing to eat out of their hand. yes, yes maybe rei did not originally end all these sentences in “, hun?” but you know what. if english pronouns are putting a limit on you, you have to have him talk like a motherhen.

8. ok we have to do this. we have to talk about DISABILITY

towa is... so disabled. towas is deeply chronically ill. and we need to ackowledge this. to truly grasp a lot of the significance of the story. he is missing an eye, he is super mega depressed and suicidal, he is terribly underweight, no doubt his has multiple other physical issues caused by past injuries.

when everyone supports him unconditionally, they want to include and spend time with their struggling disabled friend. when people violate him, they are specifically abusing a disabled person with less chances to help and save himself. when taku is impossibly protective over him to a point where he neglects to tell him things, he is acting out a pseudo-custodian role he voluntarily picked up just because towa means a lot to him.

i spoke about this before but autonomy is of HUGE importance to towa. both because his specific backstory and childhood trauma AND because he is a disabled person. i think the fact people dont try to hold him back from going on self destructive sprees has a lot to do with this. they know it is his weakest spot. he does not react well to it. also shown quite effectively but how much freedom he loses in his bad ends.

in a way the madarame route makes specific use of this; madarame denies him his right to stay unharmed and stable and sells it to him under the guise of independence. but i think everyone can understand that this will never be a realistic permanent solution for someone in need of care, even if it might seem temporarily desirable. you cannot survive and thrive like this.

9. pick your coping skill; the game

slow damage, in my opinion, is a game mainly focussed on hurt and coping skills. everything towa does is a direct or subconscious attempt to cope with his life and past experiences. as such, to me it seems like the routes are less about love interests and more about different ways of dealing with it.

taku -> just fight the symptoms. take care of yourself. you can be happy in a new life. just attempt to bury your issues.

rei -> socializing is really really good for you and will help you build up confidence <3 also keeps you from running into traffic bc your friends will actually let you know your life matters

madarame -> just badcope lol. wear it like a shield and lash out against yourself and others. hurt hurt hurt but at least you dont have to work on yourself. it is the direct easy way out

foujieda -> radically tackling the roots of the issue. you will be SO hurt but you might be able to heal in a few years time

10. personal favourites (unimportant, i just wanna gush)

fav characters: taku (his old man sad boy swag has bewitched me, i just really love his struggle with doing the right thing, as a person AND a medical professional. he is the only character allowed to truly express his pain and guilt), ikuina (i love a good softspoken yandere what can i say. also flowerboy <3), igarashi (WHaT WAS HIS DEAL I NEED TO KNOW HOW HE ENDED UP WITH THE YAKUZA he is such a honest puppy of a person. his last post-game dialogue makes me think this isnt even a facade, he just is an upstanding person) honorable mentions: towa (how can you not be obsessed with him), rei (sweetest girl. literally did no wrong. joy of my life), eiji (HIS REVOLVER OCELOT LARP WAS UNBELIEVABLE literally hes just so funny and evil)

fav good/euphoria end: ITS NOT PERFECT BY ANY MEANS but taku. definitely taku. yeah the weird dependent relationship between a doctor and a patient with 20 years age gap is quite creepy. i could not imagine this irl. but their chemistry and just... fluffy, gentle, sweet bond. is. everything to me. while it is not the ideal solution by any means, i also love the sweet pain of towa just never finding out about his past and starting a new life without it. it will always hurt a little bit in the back. but he can be happy and surrounded by friends. I ALSO REALLY LOVE FUJIEDA GOOD END i think i would be way more obsessed with it if i saw them interact more in a very casual setting? since the plot moved on quickly, they had very little time to really... establish what connects them outside of painful things that happened in the past?

fav bad/madness end: FUJIEDAAAAAAAA it is so fucked up. it is the scariest one despite being the least bloody. there is something deeply deeply haunting about watching towa go through all of this, experience so much pain and suffering in the name of uncovering and rediscovering his own life......just for it all to be for nothing. he got worse. this truly is the most chilling outcome of them all and i think it is a fantastic last end for a story that mainly focusses on trauma and recovery. isnt that the ultimate horror story.

also i am quite fascinated that in every other madness end, towas life gets ruined by his love interests. fujieda however is as much in the role of a victim as he is, though. and the slight cry for help at the end really drives home why he cannot leave. they are caught in worlds unhappiest yet loving marriage.

fav route to play: FUJIEDA ONCE AGAIN just because the game got so quirky with visuals and you finally get all the information and clues and emotional gratification of it all. yes it also destroys you mentally but thats part of the joy.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY. reis route. it is so deeply defined by his beautiful friendships and there is a real sense of life and love when you see his little clique hang out... it definitely is the most fluffy and feel good to play through. i dont really like reitowa as a romantic pairing but seeing them hang out is SOOOO sweet.

thank you everyone for coming to my ted talk

[preshtagonist]

Marble hornets!stuck thoughts bc its that time of night again and talking into the void of shit nobody cares abt is my thing and bc this has been brewing in my head for half a year now i think? Some of these are disconnected thoughts and concepts that dont work together

their session is a horribly glitched out seemingly void session where the white queen and black queen were not separate entities (may also include black king and white king idk!) (this is the operator)

This entity is also their first guardian. Lord english esque in how it perpetuates its own creation (yknow how arasol found the code for sgrub. I think it does smth similar w tapes or some other method. Arg to find your sburb disc loser) and in how it seems almost to have always been present in the life of tim (you know) and alex (birthday video)

Possibility: Alex discovered the sburb code or whatever the mechanism was and tried to hide it thinking it would prevent the apocalypse from happening. It doesnt and never would have. Jay finds them i think (maybe for a while alex blames jay for the apocalypse bc he couldnt keep his goddamn nose out of it)

as an amalgam of four game constructs (WQ BQ BK WK) it is considered the exile of the main four (alex, brian, tim, and jay) and indirectly fucks them via “commands” on the computer terminal. Tims pills run interference for whatever reason.

Brian (as hoodie) eventually gains access to his terminal and occasionally through “hacking”, the terminals of the other four guys. TTA brainblasts you w audio visual hallucinations sometimes

Jessica, seth, amy, and sarah have “normal” exiles. Thank god

Heres a fucked up thought: tim and alex have opposing views on initiating the scratch. Who is on what side probably requires a more nuanced understanding of their characters than what i have but heres an attempt to pick a side for each and figure out reasoning:

So first of all neither character has a perfect understanding of what the scratch truly is or how it works. They do not have a doc scratch or trolls to yell at them for universe cancer so there is no real way for them to have a full picture of the implications of doing this.

alex is actually for NOT initiating the scratchz his reaction to finding out they “caused” the end of the world (or more accurately were harbingers of that end) is “we all deserve to die.”, heavily rooted in christian/cartholic (i am tired sorry for conflating the two) guilt for what i hope are Obvious Reasons and the whole “you need to kill everyone and then yourself” thing. Additionally does not believe the scratch will destroy the operator (he is right) so trapping it in this dead universe is the best they can do in his eyes (he can not actually hope to trap it). Sees them all as infected by it but ESPECIALLY Tim as “the source” (why? I dont know. I think it favored him as a doom player. Tim being a doom player also makes him the most literally representation of everything alex hates and resents about the situation).

Tim is for initiating the scratch. He believes that the scratch will wipe out the operator for good (it wont). I had mlre thoughts on this but i got sjdetracked sorry

Jessica survives the scratch somehow

Maybe she is hidden away by tim before the scratch starts, maybe he even is able to hide with her from it? Would imply tim knows the scratch is surviveable and thus the operator could escape from it but would also reflect how his self preservation kind of outweighs any desire to be a martyr unlike alex. Tim Will Survive a la final girl? I had better ways of expressing this thought but i lost it. If you look at this and say “you dont know what youre talking about” you are so correct

Either way, due to tims planning or a glitch in their already buggy session, she falls through the fabric of spacetime and into the new universe but loses all her memories/has a fuzzy recollection.

If tim does survive this could explain how she is able to be situated in a universe where she should not exist (he got everything arranged the way sburb guardians (non first ones) would)

This is how marble hornets comic happens and that cast would get involved

Have you considered skully sprite for your troubles. Yes? Okay i dont have a more developed thought than that i spedread the comics from excitement and did. Not internalize the meaningful stuff bc im small brained

….i just rmbrd the ^2sprites and. Thinking sbt that in relation to skullysprite is… yeah id be wanting to fix the broken too if i was an amalgam of several dead bodies shoved into a sprite in this timeline (maybe)

Obviously real skuly is more than that but i dont fully understand them so. Ack

Anyway this sessions FOR SURE players are jessica, taylor, adam (who i ALWAYS tag as seth bc i dont have a BRAIN) and david (and skully! In a way)

Adam kills david during the session. I know it in my heart. Bastard >:(

I cant think of anything else good night

[diavolosthots]

Hey dear! I hope that you have a good time! I want to make a request, but please delete it if you don't feel like doing it.

I saved that request in the notes and been waiting for you to open them 😊

For request

First fight with brother (any of your choice) and one of them (I mean MC or that brother) thinks that it's end of relationship (because never had anything serious), but they reconciled in the end. I want some heavy angst with happy ending. MC can be GN if that is OK.

If you don't mind you can do for Mammon, but feel free to choose another one if you don't feel like write for him. Or if that would be better to write as headcanons for all the brothers. That's up to you!

I haven't been doing requests for ages. Please don't hate me if there is something wrong! I've read the rules, and I hope I haven't missed anything.

Anyway, sorry for long ask. And thank you for your writings!

(I forgot to look if you did anything similar, and remembered it at the end of writing that ask. Sorry if you already did something like that!)

Hey babes ❤ I did end up doing HCs for all of them because I thought it would be cooler (or more like I know someone is gonna request separate fics for all of them if I dont and I'm saving myself that trouble lol) I still hope you like it ! ❤ also this got SUPER LONG so its under a cut

Warning: angst -> happy ending-ish

THE BROTHERS in a fight with MC and thinking that they’re over (yikes)

Lucifer:

Everyone always says Lucifer is quick to lose his cool but he’s honestly been nothing but patient with you. He may have hinted at several things he doesn’t condone and he definitely has that ‘look’, you know the disappointed dad look, but he has held back a lot so as to not ruin the beautiful relationship you have with him. Everyone snaps, though, and when he finally did, it was ugly. He did NOT call you names, but oh he didn’t. He went straight for your feelings and pointed out every mistake you ever made for as long as he’s known you. Ouch. In his defense, you weren’t nice either. The argument ended nasty and ‘I hate you’s!’ were definitely thrown around, but none of them were meant, right? Goodness, he doesn’t know. After you left, he threw himself on his bed, literally, and just stared at the ceiling. His anger slowly fled away and he began to feel… guilty. Not necessarily because of the argument itself, but because he delivered some low blows and he knows that. Are you over? Done with him? You haven’t texted or called or talked… you’ve been actively avoiding him and he doesn’t like that, but his pride is such an issue, goodness. He can’t straight up apologize, that dickhead, but he’s sending you flowers and standing in front of your door with a sad face that says it all. 

“Forgive me? I made reservations at your favorite’s? We can talk over a nice dinner?” 

Mammon:

Mammon is known to get mildly agitated over the silliest things, let’s be real. He’s also quick to revert to the “are you dumb?!” argument, which is never effective. But he loves you and he would do anything for you so even if you do do something that he deems ‘dumb’, he usually bites his tongue. Doesn’t mean that doesn’t get on his nerves, though, and he definitely has a short temper, although people tend to overlook that. You just managed to push his buttons today and he used the “are ya stupid?!” argument, to which you obviously defended yourself, and rightfully so. This ended in a massive screaming match and him saying “Then leave! Ain’t nobody keepin’ ya with me!” He regretted it the minute those words left his mouth and you could see his eyes grow wide in shock at his own words, but that didn’t mean you stayed. “MC!” he tried running after you immediately but you were faster and honestly, who can blame you? He fucked up, and he knows it, and he feels terrible about it. Honestly, he’s crying just at the mere thought of you taking his words seriously and he can’t… he can’t bear to lose you, you know? What’s he gonna do? You’re the light of his life, as pathetic as that may sound to some…. So he won’t let you run away. Homie will hunt you down and beg for forgiveness. 

“Please, MC! Forgive me! I’m dumb, not you!!! Don’t leave me…” Don’t leave him. He will continue crying. 

Leviathan:

His constant need to put himself down is frankly, quite annoying. To you anyway. But you put up with it and just reassure him that, at least to you, he’s the most amazing demon that ever existed. It’s just facts. But a person only has so much patience, right? You can’t always spend your days trying to lift him up when all he does is dig himself a bigger hole. Who has the emotional time for that? You sure don’t. “Oh my God, Levi! Shut up! I can’t take it anymore!” Followed by “See! You’re just like everyone else! Leaving me!” and then you slamming the door to his room shut. It’s frustrating and understandably so. It makes you feel awful that you can’t even make your own boyfriend feel good about himself and get at least a little bit of self confidence and it’s so, so, so very draining to have to constantly listen to that. At this point, it’s affecting your own mental health and you just… you just can’t…. But Levi can’t lose you because he knows you’re right. He has to work on himself if he wants to keep someone as amazing as you with him and that’s why he’s crawling back to you now. 

“Look I… I know you’re right… I’m sorry. I promise I’ll … I’ll try. For you.”

Satan:

For being the Avatar of Wrath, you always admired Satan for his ability to keep cool. He prefers the relaxed and easy going life much more than the type of life people expect him to live, and you respect that. That doesn’t mean his constant need to one up Lucifer, through whatever means necessary, didn’t bother the hell out of you, though. You tried talking to him about it once or twice in a calm manner, but you always got the same answer “Pfft.. it’s Lucifer. Who cares?” And it never sat right with you. Just today he decided to pull a prank on the eldest and you had enough, standing in front of Lucifer and letting the bucket of cursed green slime land on you instead, to everyone’s shock. “What are you doing?!” Now that you’re thoroughly green from head to toe, you were also beyond pissed. “What am I doing?! What are YOU doing?!” But Satan matched your anger tenfold, accusing you of favoring Lucifer over him and oh! “You probably got an affair with him, too!” Which was a stupid thing on his part, but it looked like it the way you defended him. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion you felt running through you and had it not been for Lucifer, you probably would’ve physically fought Satan for such a dumb accusation. Lucifer took you to get cleaned up and lifted the course, giving you your natural skin and hair color back within a few days and plenty of scrubbing, and Satan felt like shit. You’ve always been there for him and, rationally speaking, he didn’t have a reason to doubt your loyalty to him, but he just can’t help but feel insecure beside Lucifer…. He decides to come apologize anyway, a deep blush on his face and guilt in his eyes 

“I’m… sorry for accusing you. It wasn’t my right to speak out of anger and jealousy…” 

Asmodeus:

How can anyone fight with the Avatar of Lust? Seriously, the guy is super easy going and he loves pretty much everyone. Not as much as himself, but almost. You on the other hand… you didn’t. Well you didn’t NOT love him or yourself, but you were just… you. You didn’t spend 4+ hours in the bathroom trying to get ready when you knew you were only going to the kitchen down the stairs. Like?? Although you never brought it up to Asmodeus, he constantly bothered you about skincare and what foods to eat and what not to eat, etc… It’s quite annoying, honestly, and at some point you just gave him a passive aggressive “Okay, whatever. Can we move on now?” To which he didn’t take lightly. He was still nice and sweet, trying to convince you that at least one of these things will make your skin glow brighter than a unicorn’s ass but you just had enough. “Can you stop?! You’re indirectly saying I’m ugly without that shit ton of product in my face and a diet that would make me starve before it helped me! If you want a skinny VS angel that barely holds onto their skeleton, get one!” It was more hurt and frustration speaking than anything, but your outburst still shocked him and he was taken aback for a moment. And then you ignored him for a week straight and as someone who thrives off of attention, especially the kind he gets from you, he can’t handle that! So he showed up in your room in sweats and a tshirt and messy hair and no product on his skin. 

“You’re right… we’re all naturally beautiful…. Wow that… that really hurts to say MC but can you forgive me?” 

Beelzebub:

Oh the sweet, sweet angel. He’s far from innocent and you know that. We all know that. But for this story, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. His reliance on Belphegor is just really… annoying. Belphegor this, Belphegor that. “Belphie used to…” or “Belphie said….” or “one day when Belphie and I….” Like why does everything have to include his twin? It’s so annoying and so rude when your significant other is right here !!! and planning their own future with you, Beel, thanks. It makes you feel less than and like Belphegor will always come before you. It makes you feel like shit, quite frankly, and who is to blame you? “Hey MC did I tell you what Belphie---!” “No! Shut up! I don’t care! It’s always about Belphie! The day you come to me and don’t let that name drip from your tongue is the day Jesus comes back to save me and we both know that will be never! I’m tired of always being stuck with Belphegor! We are not equals!” Granted, you shouldn’t have yelled and Beel was more than confused at your outburst, but you wouldn’t talk to him anymore after that so he left you alone. He thought you may need an hour or two, maybe a day tops, but that day turned into a full week and he even lost his appetite just because he knows you’re angry with him. It’s been a week, does that mean you’re over? His heart aches just at the thought… 

“I’m sorry for bringing Belphie up… I don’t want you to feel less than, MC. You mean a lot to me and so does Belphie, but you’re not Belphie and I need to learn that…”

Belphegor:

Honestly it’s a miracle he hasn’t lost his temper at you yet. Well, he partially blames it on his own laziness because if being angry or getting upset didn’t take so much energy out of him, maybe he would’ve snapped by now lol, but he tries really hard not to because he thinks your relationship with him after everything is pretty good, considering yall kiss and snuggle and fuck on a regular basis. But anyway, that’s exactly the issue. Considering everything, you’re still holding *that* against him. It’s never direct either, which makes it worse. It’s always said in a joking manner and something like “haha look it’s just like that one time you killed me” or “Beel’s grabbing that ham like you grabbed my throat” or “I remember seeing jesus for a moment there” and it agitates him. It makes him so angry, and he finally snapped. “I know I fucked up MC! Stop holding it against me! What do you want? A medal of honor? A survivor's certificate? Maybe a pat on the back for developing some sort of Stockholm syndrome that made you come back to your abuser?!” And then he left. And you may have cried both from confusion and your own anger, he isn’t quite sure. It’s just so…. Aggravating. He can’t deal with it. He knows it was a mistake spurted by his own insecurities and survivor’s guilt which ultimately led to his hatred but please, stop holding it against him.. He can’t keep putting up with it from the person he’s grown to love. He’s the one ignoring you and he won’t budge either because he’s a stubborn ass, but maybe if you come up first… 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you… I’m just so tired for it being held against me… I love you, and you should know that, and I do feel guilty about what happened.” 

[scover-va]

Hi just a lil mini analysis/rant abt Mondo’s character portrayal in the fandom that's been sitting in my drafts for weeks bc I bothered my friends with this and decided y’all need to see it too /hj (also it doesn’t look like a proper analysis bc I’m just copying and pasting my messages so yknow)

Smth that irks me abt how Mondo is portrayed is. Fanart where it shows him feeling guilty only over Chihiro and Taka’s deaths. Like people usually say it’s bc they couldnt fit Daiya but I feel like it’d be more relevant to include Daiya over Taka. Assuming that Mondo was a ghost and watching what happened, yes he’d feel guilty, but I don’t think indirectly causing the death of a guy you met a week ago is gonna outweigh feeling like you murdered your own brother in cold blood. It once again feels like they’re focusing more on IshiMondo than Mondo’s actual character and it bugs me. Him feeling guilty over Chihiro’s death makes perfect sense, he *did* kill Chihiro. There’s no denying that fact, seeing as how. Well. Mondo was the blackened. And Chap. 4 makes it obvious that killing yourself after someone else attacks you doesn’t make you a blackened, so we know Chihiro didnt somehow live through the attack and killed himself so Mondo wouldnt die if Chihiro did end up dying (granted the manga complicates this with chap. 1 but for the sake of staying on topic we’ll just focus on in-game events). But prioritizing Taka over Daiya when it comes to Mondo’s guilt makes absolutely no sense. Mondo’s only involvement would be Taka’s mental state being the reason Celeste targeted Taka, but even then, that’s such a minor involvement that I can’t see why Taka’s death would hurt more than Daiya’s. His involvement with Taka’s is minimal and incidental. He had literally no control over it, seeing as how he killed Chihiro in the midst of a panic attack. But to Mondo, he feels like he *chose* to kill Daiya. He instigated the race, he chose to be reckless, and these decisions ultimately led to Daiya’s death. He sees his involvement as voluntary instead of incidental like it would be with Taka. And yes he’d feel guilty over Taka’s death, but Daiya’s death shaped him so much from his anger issues to his anxiety to literally every little detail about his character that I just. Can’t see him feeling guiltier over a friend that he accidentally was involved in the death of than his own brother that he entirely blames himself for

[homieswithhades]

why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong

disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.

first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.

let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.

in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.

next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.

in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.

im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:

steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.

ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.

theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.

mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.

now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:

ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."

heres some more:

and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)

bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.

in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.

[blazeismyname]

Oh boy, the heart pains are catching up with me- (I have this weird thing when I think about something occasionally I'll have, like, physical heart pains) (I'll be fine, promise) Also, I'm hyperfixarinf so hard, I literally can't focuse in class AAAAAAAA. Also, I can promise I can get sleep later. I'm gonna like, nap once I get home (unless I need to finish this first teehee)

I do kinda want to set this in the original time period for fancy little flair! Although. Will it still be in Fance it or is it gonna be somewhere else?

Nonetheless, YOURE SO RIGHT WITH THAT BEING AN UNCOMMON NAME BACK THEN HNNNG!!!! I IMAINE CARMILLA CALLED HIM SOME ODD NAME (suggestions are Brass, dumb ass, metal boy, rust head, ect.) FOR LIKE, A WEEK AFTER HE WAS GIVEN A STABLE BODY AND EVENTUALLY HE JUST SAT DOWN IN HIS OLD TIMEY ROOM AT HIS DESK AND LISTED OUT NAMES WITH HIS OLD TIMEY PEN UNTIL HE WRITES BRIAN AND HE BURSTS OUT LIKE "Mama! I have the perfect name!". (Also, something about Brian calling Carmilla Mama melts my heart like- agahgagahgga...) AND SHES LIKE "Huh. Sucks but suit yourself" (the trans parallels here makes me want to scream- Like, choosing your name and honestly, it's shit but suit yourself (coughs in a man who named himself Blaze and has also been (indirectly) told that it fucking sucks lmao-))

CARMILLA JUST LIKE, AHHGAGAH, LIKE... SHE HAS HIM IN HER ARMS, STRAINING HER MAGIC TO KEEP THE GENTLE FRAGILE HEARTBEATING... GLANCING DOWN AT HIS STILL FACE.... AND JUST, REALIZING THIS IS HER CHANCE TO LEGALLY BE A MOTHER- AND SHE KINDA TEARS UP, ALREADY EXCITED AT THE IDEA OF HER NEW KIDDO- AND SHE REFUSES TO GIVE UP ON HIM AND DOESNT... AND WHEN HE TAKES HIS FIRST BREATHE, IT'S LIKE- "Hey- hey- You're breathing... you're alive! Can you reply?" "Urggh.... Wh-" then she immediately hugs him- AND THIS MEANS A LOT TO BRIAN- LIKE CARMILLA IS ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE HE EVER GETS TO MEET WITH HIS NEW MIND AND SHE MEANS A LOT TO HIM AND IT STRENGHTENS THE MOTHER SON RELATIONSHIP

AUGH- I just, I imagine Brian tied to the tree so hard (I'm gonna draw it, I swear).. multiple layers of rope tied at the back st the tree, his arms at his side, his feet hovering over the ground a little... he's in one of the dresses Jonny sewed him, and he's sobbing his eyes out. He thinks Jonny is gonna die, and he won't be able to help... someone he came to know and adore... and share parts of him... someone who didn't find him scary or odd but beautiful and interesting... Tht and the memories.. fuzzy and like frosted glass, of distantly being hung from a tree. Then Carmilla rides up. She girl boss cuts him out, and he falls to the ground, still sobbing.. Until Carmilla tells him there's still time. Brian chokes back his tears, yelling, "Thank you, Mama!" And hugging him before Carmilla helps him onto her horse. She's following behind, but slowly and on foot. AGAGGAGGAGAGA

Marius being a cryptic ass.. grrrr

AND EVERYTHING WITH TIM, BERTIE, AND LYF... AGH IM MELTING INTO A FUCKING PUDDLE.... TIM AND BERTIE ARE PROBABLY HOLDING LYF TO MAKE SURE HES SAFE AND COMFORTABLE AND DOESNT RUN BECAUSE HE WILL GET HIMSELF KILLED.... GAHHHHHHHH... AND EVEN IF LYF HATED IT WHEN IT HAPPENED.. IT SLOWLY BECAME A REALLY IMPORTANT MEMORY FOR HIM

And the whole thing with the colorful servants that can actually be less formal and more human... grrr, so gooodddd... I'm jealous. Their parents must've been the coolest

Also, I'm pretty sure we just share a brain at this point (/j). BUT THE WHOLE THING WITH CARMILLA TRYING TO GET NASTYA NOT TO TAKE THE BLAME.. SOBS..... SHE NEVER HAD TO LEAVE HER CASTLE GF, BUT SHE FELT THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY... IT WAS ALL SO PREVENTABLE.. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Marius getting the cookie- he lika da cookie- he's a simple man... AND LYF GRABBING HIM BY THE EAR- AGHHHH... SUCH ADORABLE QUEER BEHAVIOR.... Lyf should offer to kiss is better... hehe....

And everything you said about beast Jonny.. ugh- I IMAGINE HE SHRUNK BACK A LITTLE WHEN NASTYA ARRIVED. CAUSE HE HADNT SEEN HER IN SO LONG, AND IT WAS REALLY NERVE RACKING TO SEE HIS BIG SISTER AFTER EVERYTHING AND AFTER HOW SHITTILY HE TREATED HER... UGHHHHH.. AND BRIAN DOES THE THING WHERE YOU RUB YOUR THUMB ON SOMEONE'S HAND TO CALM THEN... HRNWKFBOQBFIWNBTK

LOVE EVERYTHINF YOU SAID BOUT RAPHS BACKSTORY TOO... AGHH, YOU'RE TOO BRILLIANT IM GONNA- SHIT HEART PAINS- GRRRRR THOUGH!!!! RAPH TAKING THE ASSAIN AND JUST TORTURING THEM FOR HOURS AND ITS REALLY FUCKED UP BUT ALL IN THE NAME OF JONNY AND NASTYA AND BEING ABLE TO VIVISECT THEM IN THE END!!!!@ AGHHH

Gotta go now cause the heart is getting bad and I'll be home soon- be back with more obviously!

Beauty and the Beast, but it's the Mechanisms.

Jonny must be the beast because feral Jonny and the whole heart thing... prove me wrong.

Tim or Brian is Belle.

Rest of the Mechs are the servants in the Beast's house. With an exception for Marius as Gaston cause I can totally fucking see it. He would suck at it though because it's Marius. And also, short Marius HC.

This is probably not new. But it's been brewing in my head for a good few months, ever since I put my Mechs OC in the iconic Belle dress.