#you literally have my medical records youre a doctor

[cassandralexxx]

sorry y’all I’m unavailable due to cringing from remembering that I was crying literally my entire psychiatry appointment today💀

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 Collateral Damage.

Husband!Reid x BAU!reader

series mastelist | main masterlist

Summary: When you accompany your husband to an interrogation, the last thing you expect is to learn that the woman who ruined your lives has gotten what you've always wanted: a baby.

Words: 3,7k.

Warnings & Tags: wife!reader. mentions of infertility, pregnancy loss, jail, hospital, therapy. angst WITHOUT a happy ending. cat adams is warning all by herself. again, so much angst. spoilers for s12 e22 ("red light"). english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: This is incredibly sad and one of the first parts of me trying to clean up my drafts (I literally cried reading this last night, love it so much).

“We’re pregnant.”

They were the words you had always dreamed of hearing, the words you had imagined sharing with your husband countless times in the quiet moments of your life. The dream of a family. The idea of motherhood. You had fought so hard against the crushing reality of your biological struggles. Every test, every disappointment, every doctor’s visit had carved deeper into your soul. But you had always held onto hope, clinging to the belief that one day, it would happen. You and Spencer would have a family. He would be a good father, and you would be a good mother.

But now…now those words came not from your lips, not from the man you loved with all your heart, but from the mouth of the woman who had shattered your world, who ruined everything good and pulled you two apart for months. Cat Adams. It was her. Again.

You couldn’t breathe.

Your body was frozen, rooted to the spot just outside the interrogation room. You and JJ stood in the dim hallway, watching through the glass, but it felt like you were miles away, like you had been pulled into some parallel universe where nothing in your life made sense. The world had tilted. Your thoughts tangled in a whirlwind of confusion, disbelief, and a deep, aching sorrow you couldn’t yet name.

You wanted to shout. You wanted to scream. You wanted to run into that room and demand the truth from her. How could he—how could she—say something like that? You wanted to storm in there and tell Cat that she was lying, that she was trying to manipulate him, that this couldn’t possibly be real. It was a very low blow, so unfair and cowardly even for someone like her.

But you were paralyzed. Your chest ached with a heaviness that felt like it would suffocate you. You couldn’t tear your gaze away from Spencer’s face as his expression slowly morphed into something you didn’t recognize. He looked…lost. His brow furrowed, his lips parted as if to say something, but the words never came. His body language screamed confusion, disbelief, and a deep, gnawing fear. He was in shock, and you couldn’t blame him. The revelation was something you knew he had been wanting for years but not in this way.

“There must be an explanation,” Jennifer whispered beside you, her voice low but urgent, trying to cut through the suffocating tension. Her hand brushed against your arm, grounding you for a moment.

An explanation. Of course, there had to be one. Your husband would never…He couldn’t…But the sharp edge of pain and guilt gnawed at the edges of your mind, insidious and cruel. This moment was supposed to be yours, only yours.

Your mind raced, desperate to calm and find a way to rationalize what you had just heard. Cat was a master manipulator, a pathological liar who thrived on twisting the truth to suit her twisted games. This had to be another one of her ploys, another cruel trick designed to break Spencer. But was more, was a lower hint for you too. You were always the collateral damage, but this time it was hurting like hell.

Suddenly the guard of the prison entered, a folder clutched in her hands, her expression grim. She approached agent Jareau, handing her the medical records as if they were a death sentence for you. And the worst part was how your friend hesitated before opening them, glancing at you for a split second, her lips pressed into a thin line. The pity can be seen even for a blind person.

You didn’t need to see the contents of the folder to know the truth, to feel it inside. Jennifer’s sharp intake of breath told you everything. She flipped through the pages quickly, her frown deepening with every word she read. Finally, she looked up, meeting your eyes with an expression that was equal parts anger and more pity.

“She’s pregnant,” JJ confirmed, her voice low and reluctant. “Three months…it makes sense.”

The words made your knees weak. You reached out, gripping the edge of the table in front of you for support, your breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps. It felt like someone had reached into your chest and torn your heart out, leaving behind a hollow, aching void devouring each of your other organs.

Inside the interrogation room, Spencer was still frozen. His hands rested on the table, trembling slightly, as he stared at Adams with wide, disbelieving eyes. “No,” he whispered, his voice cracking under the weight of the single word. “That’s…that’s impossible. I would never—”

He would never cheat you. He would never touch or even think of another woman. He loved you like it was his life purpose since he met you.

“But you did,” Cat interrupted, her tone calm and smug, as though she had already won. She leaned back in her chair, resting her hands on her stomach with a sense of triumph that made you want to scream. “You were so sweet that night. So trusting. But then again, I made it easy for you, didn’t I? You thought it was her. You thought Lindsay was your wife.”

Your breath caught, the implication of her words crashing over you like a tidal wave and making you want to scream. You felt JJ’s hand on your arm, grounding you, but it wasn’t enough to stop the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm you.

She continued, her voice dripping with feigned innocence. “I mean, you didn’t even question it. And you, so desperate for a family, so desperate for her, fell for it. You let her in. And when the time was right…” Cat leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms smugly. “Well, you did what needed to be done. Now, here we are. You’re finally going to be a daddy.”

Finally. Finally. Finally.

Spencer’s head whipped violently, his fists slamming onto the table with a force that seemed to shake the very air around you. His voice cracked with disbelief, raw and desperate. “No,” he said again, but this time, it was louder, like he was trying to make the world believe it too, trying to make you hear it, feel it. “You’re lying.”

The woman didn’t flinch. Instead, she tilted her head, her eyes glittering with cruel amusement, as if savoring every painful second. “What’s the matter? Not quite the picture you had in your head when you imagined your happy little family?” Her words sliced through the silence, her mockery dripping with venom. “I mean, let’s be honest—she was never going to give you a baby, was she? Not after what happened before.”

Before.

The word reverberated in your mind, jagged and relentless. You didn’t need to hear anything else. The floodgates opened and started to bleed again.

The sterile scent of the hospital room hit you like a tidal wave, the cold, mechanical hum of machines echoing in your ears. You could still feel the weight of the doctor’s words pressing down on you, the cruel finality of them. Your body, it seemed, was incapable of carrying life. The crushing reality hit harder than you could ever have prepared for. Spencer’s face had been pale, his lips trembling as he squeezed your hand, his own sorrow mirrored in your tears.

“We’ll get through this, love,” he had whispered, his voice trembling but determined. “It’s okay. We’ll find a way. It’s okay.”

But now, as you stood there in the present, surrounded by the fallout of broken dreams, that promise felt like an empty echo in the vast, aching space between you. Nothing was okay. Absolutely nothing was ever to be okay again.

Cat had come for what you could never give him, and now she was twisting the knife, ensuring you bled with every word that left her mouth. She wanted you to drown in the aftermath, wanted you to suffer, to feel like you’d been erased. As if you hadn't suffered enough, as if you weren't yet broken and traumatized enough.

You stumbled into the hallway, your legs giving way beneath you as if the very foundation of your existence had crumbled. The walls seemed to close in, the air thick, suffocating. Tears burned your eyes, spilling unchecked as years of grief poured from a place you thought had long since healed. JJ was behind you, her movements steady but soft as she followed.

“Come here. Sit down for a second,” she urged, her voice gentle but firm, like a lifeline thrown to someone drowning. She wanted to pull you in, to cradle you, but you couldn’t even hold yourself together.

You shook your head, your breath coming in shallow gasps, each one too short, too sharp. “I—I can’t. I can’t breathe.” You pressed your hands against the cool wall, your palms slick with sweat, desperate for some grounding, for something solid to stop the world from spinning out of control.

Please, just make it stop.

She placed a firm but soothing hand on your shoulder, guiding you to a nearby bench. “Just sit for a moment. Take a deep breath. You’re not alone, okay? I’m right here.”

Her words were kind, but they only made the ache in your chest burn hotter. You dropped your head into your hands, unable to hold it in anymore. “It’s not fair. She has everything,” you choked out without even thinking. “Everything I wanted. She took it. She—” Your voice faltered, the lump in your throat making it impossible to finish the sentence.

So, why'd it cost a woman like her anything? Was she going to give a better life to a baby than you could? Had you ever been such a bad person? Was that it?

Jennifer sat down beside you, not saying a word, just letting you find the strength to speak when you were ready.

When you finally did, your voice was broken. “You know…when Spencer and I moved in together, we picked the biggest house,” you said, the words spilling out in a torrent you couldn’t stop. “Not because we needed it, or because we wanted to live some fancy, luxury life—but because we were planning for the future. We talked about kids. We talked about filling that house with the chaos of family. We even set up a room…” Your voice faltered again, the memory of that room too painful to bear. “We called it the nursery.”

JJ’s expression softened, her eyes growing distant with empathy. She’d heard Reid talk about your dreams countless times—how he’d ask her for suggestions about baby names, recommendations for things he should know about raising kids, and everything to be a good husband and father at the same time.

“We bought baby clothes,” you whispered, your voice cracking again. “I still do it sometimes when I see something cute. Tiny little onesies, hats, socks…He always said we needed to be ready. That we’d want those things when the time came. And so we kept them, in a drawer, neatly folded. Waiting.”

God, you were so tired of always waiting.

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “Do you know how many times I opened that drawer? How many times have I picked up those tiny clothes and imagined what it would feel like to hold our baby in them? To see Spencer cradling them, smiling the way only he can when he’s happy? Every time I see him with your kids, I want to see that for the rest of my life.”

Her hand covered yours, her grip warm and steady.

“And now Cat has that,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “She gets to have a baby. She gets to take away the one thing I’ve been holding onto, the dream that kept me going after…after the loss.”

The silence that followed was heavy, thick with the weight of what you’d never spoken about, what you’d kept buried ever since you walked out of that sterile hospital room. You had never talked about that day, not really—not since it happened. Not until now. Only in therapy, where the walls were thick, where no one could see you break, could you admit the rawness of it.

“I keep thinking about our house,” you continued, your voice distant and lost in memories. “How we’d sit up late at night, dreaming about how we’d decorate the nursery. We even picked names. Spencer wanted to name a boy after a scientist—he was obsessed with that idea. And I always thought, for a girl…we’d name her after his mom.”

JJ smiled faintly, though sadness lingered in her eyes. “You two still can do it and be the best parents in the world; don’t let her ruin everything.”

Having a good mom tell you that you were going to be a good mom was as filling as it was raw.

You shook your head, tears falling without restraint. You didn’t try to stop them. “How can I face him again? How can I look at him and not feel like I failed him? Like my body failed him, failed us, over and over again?”

Her voice was unwavering, strong, and full of conviction. “You didn’t fail him. You’ve never failed him, or yourself. This isn’t your fault. Spencer loves you. You’re going to get through this, together. And Cat…Cat didn’t win, okay?”

You wanted to believe her. You needed to believe her. But the suffocating weight of everything made it hard to see the truth. The face of the woman who had torn apart everything you thought you’d have was still vivid in your mind, her words echoing like a funeral bell.

“She said I couldn’t give him what he wanted,” you murmured, your voice cracking. “What if she’s right? What if—” What if your husband stopped loving you? What if he starts to hate you for not being enough? Can he?

“No,” she cut you off, her voice sharp but compassionate. “Don’t do that. Don’t let her poison your mind like that. He chose you. Not her, not anyone else. You. And this…this nightmare? It wasn’t his choice, and it wasn’t yours. But you’re going to get through it.” She knew what she was talking about.

JJ’s arm wrapped around you, pulling you close, her warmth enveloping you as the sobs you had been holding back finally broke free. She didn’t say anything more, just held you tightly, her presence a steady anchor in the storm. The sound of your sobs, the harsh, guttural sounds of a heart breaking, filled the hallway, but in her arms, you felt a small fragment of peace.

“I don’t know how to handle this,” you whispered into her shoulder, your voice trembling.

“You don’t have to handle it all right now,” she said softly. “Just breathe. I’m here, and I understand you, okay? It’s okay.”

For a moment, you let yourself collapse into the comfort she offered, letting the peace of her presence block out the memory of Cat’s cruel face, her words slicing into your soul. But that fleeting peace was shattered as hurried footsteps echoed down the hall, and then, just as suddenly, Spencer stood there with medical papers strewn on the floor and an agitated look.

His face was pale and a little sweaty, his fists clenched as if he wanted to throw the table in front of him away, and as soon as he saw you, everything stopped; he watched you with concern, and his breath caught in his throat. “Are you okay, love? I—I came as soon as I could, I’m sorry.” His voice was soft, almost a plea, as he took a tentative step closer.

You straightened, quickly wiping at your face, trying to pull yourself together. But the moment your eyes met his, the dam broke all over again.

Your husband moved to sit beside you, his hands reaching out but stopping just short of touching you, as though he was afraid he might hurt you more. “Hear me, whatever she said in there—it’s a lie. It has to be. She’s trying to get into our heads.”

JJ left quietly, her steps fading as she walked away, leaving the two of you alone. The silence between you and Spencer was suffocating, thick with the unspoken words, the weight of everything you were both feeling. You couldn’t look at him, not yet. Not when you knew the depth of his concern, the love in his eyes that you felt you didn’t deserve. Not when you felt like everything was unraveling and you had no way of holding it all together.

The moment his gaze softened, you felt it—a crack in the walls you had been desperately trying to keep intact. But you couldn’t—couldn’t carry it anymore, couldn’t wear that mask any longer. It was like trying to keep the ocean contained in a single glass jar.

You shook your head, swallowing hard against the lump in your throat. “I’m fine,” you whispered, your voice thin and fragile, like glass on the verge of shattering. But even to your own ears, the words felt hollow. They sounded like a lie, and you hated yourself for saying them. “I just need to go home. I’m so tired. I can’t…I can’t do this anymore.”

His eyes searched yours, as though hoping he could find the answers to your pain somewhere in the depths of your soul. His jaw tightened, the muscles in his face flexing as he fought to understand, to fix it, but you knew he couldn’t. No one could. Not with this.

“You don’t have to go alone,” he said, his voice gentle but insistent, the kind of voice that pulled at your heart, that made you want to reach out and hold on to him. “Let me be there for you. Please.”

You flinched inwardly, the urge to push him away overwhelming. If he touched you now, you feared you’d crumble entirely. “No,” you said, your voice cutting through the fragile silence that had fallen between you. The word hung in the air, sharp, like a weapon you didn’t want to wield. But you had to. You had to. “I just need to be by myself for a moment.”

His expression shifted, hurt flashing across his face. He blinked, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something—anything—to make it better. But what could he say? He couldn’t take away the hurt, couldn’t undo the mess that had built up over the last few months. The raw, searing weight of grief and longing, of losing something you’d never even gotten to hold, hung between you like a thick fog.

He opened his mouth, but you cut him off. “Please, Spencer,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “I just…I need time. Please.”

He recoiled slightly, but then he nodded. Slowly. His gaze softened with an ache that matched your own, but there was also something else there—something deep and unwavering. Love. Love that hurt, love that clung to you even as you tried to push it away.

“I love you,” he said, his voice quiet but firm. “I love you so much. And whatever happens, whatever she said or done…it doesn’t change that. Nothing will change that. You and me—we’ll get through this.”

The words pierced you, not in the way you wanted, not in the way that would have given you comfort. Instead, they felt like a reminder of everything you had lost, everything you might never have. You look at your ring, trying to hold on to the meaning.

“I need to go,” you whispered, your hand trembling as you touched his arm, just briefly. It wasn’t a comfort; it was a goodbye. You didn’t want him to see you like this. You didn’t want to drag him down with you, even though you knew he’d follow you into hell if you asked. But you couldn’t let him. Not now.

Spencer hesitated, as if he might argue, but then he just sighed softly, nodding again, his face pale with worry. “Okay. But you know I’m here, right? If you change your mind—if you need me…” His voice trailed off, and he gave you a look of such pure concern that it almost broke you. Almost.

You nodded without meeting his eyes, wiping at your cheeks quickly before giving him a quick hug and walking away, each step a little heavier than the last. You couldn’t even look back.

The door of your car slammed shut behind you with a finality that sent a shiver down your spine. For a long moment, you sat there, the engine still off, staring straight ahead as the weight of everything settled over you like an oppressive storm cloud. You wanted to breathe, to take in the air, but it felt too thick, too heavy.

Finally, your hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white from the tension. You pressed your forehead against the wheel, trying to still the trembling that was slowly overtaking your body. And then, just like that, the dam broke. It wasn’t a sob at first. It was a sharp intake of breath—a gasp that felt like it was being ripped from you. And then came the tears, hot and fast, flowing down your face without mercy. Your chest ached as the sobs wracked your body, each one pulling something from you that you couldn’t even name. The quiet of the car only made the pain more acute, the isolation more unbearable.

The tears didn’t stop—they couldn’t. You cried for the dream you’d lost, the dream you’d clung to for so long, the dream you had built with him. You cried for the tiny clothes, the nursery, the baby names you’d never get to say. You cried for Spencer, for all the ways you felt like you were failing him. For all the ways you felt like you were breaking him, too.

Your sobs grew louder, more desperate, until your chest felt like it might collapse in on itself. There was nothing left to hold onto, no one to fix this, no way out.

And as the tears kept falling, as the sorrow consumed you, all you could do was let it happen. To sink into the ache, to let it wash over you, until you were nothing but an empty shell of the person you once were.

[skaybrekker]

no time to die.

Summary: you are a Resident at the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Hospital, one of the most loved ones and unfortunately, you went to the Pittfest. There, after the shooting, you helped a lot of people, even as you had been shot as well and once helps gets there, they take you to the Hospital, where a lot of people are worried about you.

Word count: 8.5k.

Warnings: gun violence, MEDICAL INACCURACIES I'm not a Medic nor a Medic Student everything I wrote was based on GOOGLE, angst, graphic description of bullets wounds, death (reader lives), violence, gore, hurt/comfort, fem!reader. English it's not my mother language, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.

Pairing: the pitt x reader!, no romantic relationship, all of it it's platonic.

“Please tell me that you being here means that my shift just ended.” You didn’t even let Dr. Robby say hi to you before you attacked him with a clear desperation to get the hell out of the ER.

It had been a tiring shift, with almost a broken record of OD’s. It wasn’t just physically exhaustion; it was also mentally tiredness. You had to tell three families about how their teens children had abused drugs so bad to the point where they couldn’t save them. It had been absolutely horrible and an experience you didn’t want to repeat.

Night Shifts had these things that could destroy you mentally if you didn’t know how to manage them. Day Shifts had its things as well, as everything, but between you and your own mind, the Nights had this adrenaline that ER Doctors were addicted to.

Dr. Ellis and Dr. Shen were both great companies, you loved sharing shifts with them. Dr. Shen and you shared this calmness on the ER that was not common in your job but that somehow, described so well your personalities. Dr. Abbott was usually drove mad over your easy behaviour in such stressful situations and you always told him that you had learnt this calmness from the best, aka, Dr. Robby.

You, just like Dr. Mohan, were a R3 Resident, one of the youngest in history; a prodigy it was what you were usually called, even if you didn’t like one bit that word. You liked to say that your brain just worked a bit faster than everyone’s else, that’s it.

As soon as you arrived at this Hospital, you took over everyone’s heart. All the people who worked here loved you, even Dr. Abbott, who was known for having a soft spot for you. After all, how couldn’t he, when you were the best of the best?

Since you were one of the youngest one, most of the Doctors and Nurses in the hospital had taken under their wing as their child, loving to care for you and to watch you become better and better on your job. You would be forever grateful for the family you had gain in the job. They were the most important people for you.

“You aren’t enjoying the pleasure of my company, Dr (Y/N)?” Dr. Abbott grumbled from Dana’s right, smirking and you huffed, while hearing how Dr. Robby let out a loud chuckle.

“My dear Dr. Abbott, your company it’s always a pleasure, but I really want to get the hell out of here.” Dr. Robby, always the serenest and kind one, put his hands in your shoulders, giving you a comforting smile.

“Yes, Dr. (Y/N), the fact that I just arrived means your shift just ended. Go home and relax, for I what I heard, you deserve it.” His words made your tense shoulders relax, and you let a sigh full of relief, while muttering ‘Thank Gods’.

“She won’t do much relaxing today, right dear?” Dana, quite literally the best nurse alive said, smiling playfully at you and you let a smile full of excitement form in your face.

“What?” Dr. Abbott frowned, glancing at you.

“I’m going to the Pittfest! My friend got us some last-minute tickets. Gods, I’m so fucking excited. Today is going to be fun.” You clapped your hands together, shrinking in happiness.

“Well, at least one of us is going to have fun today.” Dr. Langdon appeared out nowhere, winking an eye at you and you sticked you tongue in his direction.

“It’s that jealousy that I hear?” You raised your eyebrows at him, and he quickly laughed, shaking his head.

“Hell no. We will probably have tons of more fun here than in a fucking hippie festival.” It was a comment that probably should be treated in therapy since it might not be normal to have fun in an emergency ER, but this was how you all worked, addicted to the adrenaline of always having something to do.

“Rude.” You answered, lifting your middle finger and Dr. Langdon gasped, putting a hand in his chest and looking at Dr. Robby as if you had just killed somebody in front of him.

“Hostile environment at work. Do something!” You scoffed, but the one replying to him was Princess.

“Dr. Langdon, I’m sorry to be the one breaking the news, but Dr. (Y/N) here is clearly their favourite, they won’t do shit to her.” She said, smirking and that made you laugh loudly.

“So fucking unfair.” You heard how Dr. Langdon mumbled, making you hit him playfully in the arm.

“Alright, alright, I’ve heard enough, I’m getting out of here. Good luck with your shift, Dr. Robby, Dr. Langdon. Don’t miss me too much.” You turned around, finally determined to get out of here.

“We won’t!” You heard how Dr. Langdon replied to you, and you smiled, shaking your head.

You quickly put a hoodie on from your locker and grabbed the backpack you always brought, ready to get out of the hospital. Before you could really leave, though, Dr. Robby took you by the arm and you frowned at him. However, when you glanced at the four people in front of him, you realized that they were the new interns and R2 that had their first shift in this hospital.

“Alright guys, now, I want to present to you to Dr. (Y/N). Sadly, today the night shift got her, but let’s hope next time we are the ones blessed by her presence. She’s the nicest Doctor you will meet here, so, enjoy every case you will work with here.” You blushed a bit, smiling at the high praises from your superior, still not getting used to them and then you looked at the new people.

“Hello everyone! As Robby said, I’m Dr. (Y/N). If you need anything at any moment and we are sharing shifts, just look for me and I will help you. I hope you have a great time today. Good luck, I’m sure you will all do great. Believe me, I’m telling you from experience, you are in really good hands.” You smiled and to your satisfaction, you observed how most of them relaxed at your words, returning the smile. You had always liked having interns around, loving to teach them and to get those glazy looks in their eyes that they get every time they see something amazing.

Out of every Resident, you were the one who was usually follow around by the interns like puppies and Dr. Robby was usually really satisfied with the thing they said about you; it was probably a relief to have at least one Resident who honestly liked to teach.

You said goodbye once again and finally; you move out of the hospital.

Since it was pretty early, once you got home, you quickly throw yourself to bed to have some hours of sleep, setting an alarm for 1PM. You arranged with your friend to meet at your home around 2PM, since it was the closest one to the place where they were doing the festival, already ready to get on the move.

Once you woke up with the alarm, you felt well rested. Gods knew you needed those hours of sleep. After taking a quick warm shower, you started to get ready. Due to the fact that it was a calm festival, you went for some white jeans, a green shirt with some sprangle, a pair of Texans and some simple make up, with green details in the shadow of your eyes.

Since it usually became cold in the night, you decided to take with you an oversized hoodie and just when you were about to prepare a sandwich to eat, you heard how your friend knocked. Smiling, you went to get the door and as soon as you opened it, Alex threw herself at you, a loud pitched scream leaving her mouth. You snorted, catching her and whirling around for some seconds.

“YOU’RE READY?!” She asked (screamed), letting you go and jumping around the house, thing that made you shake your head in fond.

“Yes, just let me finish my sandwich and then we will go.”

A couple of hours later, you and Alex were walking through the festival, going from one scenario to the other one, laughing at some boys who were trying to get to the top of the big letters that formed the name of the festival while security was screaming to them to back down.

One moment, you were laughing with your friend.

A second later, you were falling to the ground, a blinding pain hitting your leg, while shots were fired everywhere.

For a moment, it was as everything was in slow motion. You blinked, harsh breaths leaving your mouth and a weird ringing sound beating your ears. Then, finally, reality washed your mind.

There was a shooter in the festival.

You were shoot.

Shit, shit, holy mother of Gods.

Panic filled your veins, your chest constricting at the honest fear. You could see people in throwing themselves to the ground, people falling down after being shoot, and you looked at your right, where Alex was and to your relief, you saw that she was also in the ground, but clearly unharmed. She was screaming your name, but you could barely hear it.

Then, you finally reacted.

“ALEX, WE HAVE TO LOOK FOR COVER!” You screamed, looking around frantically and the closest thing you had was a big can of trash. You pointed your finger at it and Alex quickly nodded, both of you starting to crawl. Once you were covered, you sat with your back against the trash ban, asserting your own wound.

The bulled had hit you in the right thigh. Since you couldn’t feel a hole in the other side, it meant that the bullet was still inside. Blood was quickly spitting out and you knew you had to act fast before the bleeding made you pass out or worse, go into shock. You had been applying pressure since you had sat dow but it was clearly not working, so, you needed another plan. The next step was quite obvious; you had to apply a tourniquet in yourself.

“Alex, I need you to apply pressure in the wound for some seconds.” You told your friend, who immediately nodded and put her hands in your wound. A blinding pain roamed through your body at the feeling of somebody touching your injury making you whimper, but you breathed in and out for some seconds and told yourself to suck it up.

The only thing you had on hand that might work was your shirt, so, you took it out, staying only with your sporty top. You ripped it into sheets, shaping it into some kind of strip and as quick as you could, you put it around the high part of your thigh, obviously below the hips but about two from three inches above the GSW. You knotted the shirt, and you breathed out, preparing yourself for the amount of pain you were about to feel.

It was alright, you could do it. Come on.

You tightened the knot and the scream that left your mouth was guttural. You felt how your eyes fluttered, the amount of pain you were in making you rave, however, you stubbornly forced yourself to stay awake, tightening the shirt even more with your shaky hands. Once you let go, you back fell into the bin since you didn’t have the strength to support your own weight anymore.

“(Y/N)?!” You heard how Alex screamed, and she took you by the cheeks, making you see the panic state she was in.

Your heart was trumping loudly against your chest, tears rounding around your eyes. The pain was unbearable, as if something was constantly sticking a knife through your thigh and you throwed your head back, almost whitening out. You wanted it to stop, stop, stop, but the pain kept going and going. God.

“Did the bleeding stop?” You muttered weakly, blinking at your friend and she froze for some seconds until she reacted, jerking her head around to watch your wound. To your pure relief, she looked back at you and nodded. “Good, good, then I will be fine, Alex. Don’t worry.”

Alex was shaking, kneeling and not knowing what to do, since she was a Graphic Designer, not a fucking Doctor or anything like it. Looking at you being in such a pain probably wasn’t easy either, so, you tried to suck it up as much as you could, wiping the tears with your shaking hands.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” You whispered, your voice fragile. Alex’s look stuck frozen on you, as if she couldn’t believe you were telling her you were fine after being fucking shoot. But it could be worse, alright? You had seen worst cases in the ER than this one. You were going to be just fine.

The good thing was that shoots stopped. For a moment, the whole place stayed silent and then, another hell started.

Screams full of sorrow, of pain, of anger and you knew in that moment that you needed to start to help immediately.

Alex must have guessed by your determinate expression.

“No, no, you don’t. You will stay exactly here until help arrives.” But as she was ordering you, you were already starting to get up with the help of the bin. You knew that with a bullet wound in the leg, the last thing a Doctor would recommend was to start to walk around, but fuck that. You could feel the adrenaline already kicking in, thing that was going to help to maintain your pain at check.

“Help won’t arrive until at least ten minutes. I have the power to save lives right now, Alex. You can’t stop me.” You replied, clenching your jaw at the pain roaming through your light leg, having to grab yourself from the trash bin to not fall down again. Alex also got up and looked around, grabbing her own hair, tears falling on her cheeks. Yet, a moment later, she glanced at you and nodded.

“Alright, alright.” She passed an arm below yours to help you walk and once they gave a couple of steps, your breath hitched.

Saying that it was a mess wouldn’t even begin to cover it. People running around, bleeding out in the ground, some trying to do CPR on others. You breathe in and out a couple of times, closing your eyes for a moment to fully focus. You could do this. You were a Resident, the best Resident. You would usually kick assess in the ER, this couldn’t be any difference. Once you opened them back, you started to try to help.

“EVERYONE LISTEN UP!” To your own surprise (and relief) almost everyone shut up, glancing at you. Well, it seemed that after all, Dr. Abbott was right, your voice was truly strong when you wanted. “I’M A DOCTOR, SO I WILL DO MY BEST TO HELP YOU ALL. HOWEVER, I’VE ALSO BEEN SHOT, SO BEAR WITH ME.” The blinding pain in your leg intensified at that moment and your legs trembled. Alex caught you, though, and you let out a long breath before keep going, ignoring your friend’s eyes full of concern.

“I NEED YOU TO LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY. WHEN I GO TO HELP YOU, AFTER ASSESING THE DAMEGE, I WILL ASSIGN YOU A COLOR. ONCE THE HELP GETS HERE, YOU WILL TELL THEM THAT DOCTOR (Y/N) ASSIGNED YOU SAID COLOR. IF WHOEVER YOU ARE HERE WITH GOT SHOT, KEEP PUTTING PREASURE IN THE WOUND AND NEVER STOP. DO NOT, UNDER ANY FUCKING CIRCUNSANCE, GET THE BULLET OUT. FOCUS ON THEM, NOT ON YOUR PANIC.” She didn’t have much else to say, so, she quickly started to walk with Alex’s help to the closest person she had. It was a young man, probably mid-twenties. Blood was spilling out of his stomach and the girl trying to help him wasn’t being capable of stopping the bleeding.

Gun wounds in the stomach were the ones with the highest mortality rate, so this was not the best case to start with. But fuck it.

“Is the bullet inside of him?” You asked the girl in the calmest tone possible, kneeling beside her. When the pain in your leg blinded you for a moment, making you see black spots, you realized that it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but you kept your own hurt in the back of your mind.

“Yes, yes, but I-I can’t stop the bleeding, oh Gods.” You checked for a pulse and thankfully, you found it, thing that meant that he still wasn’t a black and white case. It was a penetration wound, with no exit and in the low abdomen. His airway was good, thing that meant that nothing outside of his abdominal structure was hit. He didn’t have a tender belly. The most important thing at the moment was to stop the bleeding, thing that the girl was already trying to do.

“Listen to me, I know this is hard, but I need you to keep applying pressure with all your strength. Take off your shirt and use it, it might be better than your own hands. You’re doing amazing, keep it like that. Once help gets here, scream to them that you have a Red Case. They will understand it. If you see that his chest stops raising, you scream for me.” The girl nodded, taking off her shirt and quickly going back to apply pressure with it. You got up with Alex’s help and went to the next victim.

It was a woman in her late forties, with her probably daughter kneeling beside her. She was putting pressure in her right arm, where you could see how the bleeding was still going on. Goddamn it, what was today with bleedings not stopping?

You throwed herself at her side, knowing that as the bleeding wasn’t stopping, you were going to have to apply the second tourniquet of the day. You glanced around and you noticed, thank God, that Alex was wearing a belt.

“GIVE ME YOUR BELT!” You yelled and immediately, Alex took it out, her hands shaking as she handled it to you. Once you grabbed it, you put yourself at the side of the woman, the daughter glancing at you with her eyes full of panic. “Alright, kid, listen to me, I will have to apply a tourniquet to your mum. It will hurt, a lot, so I’m really sorry that you have to see and hear this. Once I tell you, you have to stop applying pleasure. Clear?” The girl nodded and you didn’t lose any time, knowing that seconds were gold at the moment.

In a quick movement, you broke the shirt that the woman was wearing, completely exposing the wound. Leaving about three inches between the injury and the belt, you put it around the arm.

“Ma’am, my name is Doctor (Y/N). I’m about to put a torniquet in your arm. It’s going to hurt like a bitch, but I need you to be strong for me so we can stop this bleeding. Do you understand me?” You kept your voice controlled as much as you could, needing to transmit security and calmness. The mother blinked at you, but thankfully, then she nodded.

You didn’t lose any more seconds and as fast as you could, you tightened the belt in her arm with all the strength you had. The woman let out a scream full of pain, her entire body shaking, but you ignore it, tightening the belt even more. The daughter was now sobbing, but fortunately, some seconds later, the bleeding stopped. You let out a breath full of relief and you glanced at Alex.

“What time is it?!” Your friend blinked at you, probably not understanding why you were asking that, but she took out her phone and told you the time. “Okey, kid, the bleeding stop, that’s good. When help gets here, tell them that you have a pink case and that a torniquet was applied to your mother at 6:15PM.” You didn’t let the girl answer you, getting up and going to the next victim, even as dizziness was filling your own brain.

It was an older man, blood spelling out of his head, thing that never meant anything fucking good. He was sitting with his back supported by a woman, who clearly didn’t know what to do and was probably in shock.

“Ma’am, its okay, I’m here to help.” The woman glanced at you, her eyes shining with tears and you tried to give her the most comforting smile you could muster. “Could you tell me what happened to him?” You asked, noticing how the man had passed out, another bad signal. You opened his eyes, noticing the blown pupils. Shit.

“W-we ran, as soon as the shooter started, we just ran, but it was such a mess I-I, he, Robert crashed into somebody and they were running so fast, he fell to the ground and his head started to bleed.” You nodded, rubbing your face with your hands before speaking again.

“Okey, okey, listen to me, we need to stabilize him in case he has a spinal injury. I can see that the bleeding stopped, thing that’s good. I need you to place your hands on both sides of his head. Keep the head in line with the spine and prevent movement. When the paramedics arrive, scream that you have a Red Case that includes a head injury and possible a spinal one.” The woman nodded and you quickly helped to put her hands when they needed to be, putting her in the most comfortable position so none of her extremities would numb before help gets here. Then, however, you noticed that the woman was also bleeding. Her entire arm was a mess of pure blood.

“Ma’am, is the blood in the arm yours?” You asked, moving around to get close to her and examinate the wound. She shakily nodded her head.

“Y-yes, somebody cut it with their shoes. It doesn’t hurt much, though.” You let a silent sigh, knowing that they were other victims worst that needed your help and that you couldn’t stay here to help her.

“Alright, then also tell them that you are a yellow case, yes?”

She couldn’t answer you because before she could say anything else, some loud shouting interrupted her.

“HELP! I NEED HELP!” Well, that was definitely your signal. You nodded at Alex, and she helped you to get up, starting to walk as fast as you could to the woman screaming for help. She was in clear panic, grabbing her head and sobbing loudly.

“MA’AM! I need you to calm down and tell me why you need help.” You yelled at her once you got closer and she just managed to grab you by the arm and drag you some meters away, where a child was lying in the floor, his chest immobile. Fucking shit, shit, shit.

In a quick movement, you fell to the floor, kneeling at his side and immediately started CPR, your movements steady even as you could feel how the pain in your leg was consuming your entire body. You heard how Alex asked the woman where he was hurt, a question that you were also wondering. However, once glance at his leg told you exactly what this was.

He was shot in the leg, and he had probably lost way too much blood, causing him to go into hypovolemic shock, thing that meant that his heart was getting enough blood to function.

Two minutes later, when you were about to give up, the boy finally arched his back and let out a long breath. You heard how the mother screamed, but you did your best to ignore the noise, focusing on now the leg injury. It kept bleeding, thing that wasn’t good news. You had to act quickly before he went into shock again.

“I NEED ANOTHER BELT!” You screamed at Alex, who in a minute or two returned with one. God bless her. “What’s his name?!” You asked the woman, moving yourself to position at side of the leg, where you were about to apply another tourniquet.

“MAX!” You heard how she screamed back, and you straightened, looking at the boy in the eyes who was already looking at you.

“Hi Max. My name is Doctor (Y/N) and I’m here to help you. I’m about to do something to stop your bleeding, but it’s going to hurt and a lot. However, it might be the thing that saves your life, so I need you to be strong for me and to withstand the pain. Hold your mama’s hand as strong as you need to, yes?” The kid, some seconds later, gave you a weak nod and the woman took his hands into hers. Once again, wanting to act fast, you put the belt around his leg, maintaining the needed distance and then you tightened it. The scream that left the kid’s mouth threatened to break your heart, but you kept your feelings at bay and tightened the belt as much as you could.

Your breathing had grown ragged due to the exhaustion you were already feeling, but to you focused on praying to every God known in history and to your relief, the bleeding stopped a minute later.

“OH GOD, THANK YOU!” The woman was full sobbing, hugging her son as if her life depended on it and honestly, you didn’t have the enough energy to smile, so, you just accepted Alex’s help to get up.

“Ma’am, I will need you to give your son your jacket and every piece of clothing you might find. Warm is going to help to not worsen the shock. Keep him awake and talking. When the paramedics get here, tell them that you have a Red Case and that a tourniquet was applied to your son at 6:21PM.”

»»————-　🩺　————-««

“There’s an active shooter at Pittfest.” Dr. Robby didn’t know that his world could crumble with such few words. He froze and then moved his head from side to side, blinking, as if he couldn’t believe what she had just said.

“Jake and his girlfriend are there.” Then, as he thought it couldn’t get worse, today’s morning encounter with Dr. (Y/N) played in his mind, the bill raising in his throat at the reminder of what you had said earlier. “And Dr. (Y/N) is also there.”

Shit, shit, shit. How the hell was he going to get his crew to focus when such an important person to the entire hospital could be hurt or, even worse, already dead? How was he even going to focus when two of the most valuable people in his life were in such danger?

He knew, as soon as he said the words Pittfest, everything would go to shit.

He wasn’t mistaken.

“Mass casualty at Pittfest.” For a moment, the entire hospital went silent, everyone stopping everything their were doing. The first one to react was Dr. McKay.

“Pittfest? Didn’t Dr. (Y/N) said she was going there?” Dr. Robby rubbed his face, but didn’t say anything else, knowing that nothing he could say could calm down an entire crow of nurses and Doctors worried for you. Some people gasped, others just took their hands and covered their mouths with it. He clenched his jaw but forced himself to react and to give a small speech to get everyone in the move again. Thankfully, they did and when he turned around, he saw Dr. Abbott entering the hospital, thing that made his entire body fill with relief.

“Brother, I’m so fucking glad to see you.” Without being to avoid it, he gave him a small hug and Dr. Abbott clasped his back, but he felt how his entire body was tense.

“You know who’s there, right?” He whispered, pulling back but staying close enough. Robby sighed but nodded, biting his lip.

“I don’t know what we will do if she gets here injured.”

»»————-　🩺　————-««

When the ambulance started to arrive, you had helped countless people. You had lost count a long time ago, but you had applied about six tourniquets, two CPR performed with successful resuscitating, one dislocated shoulder fixed and a many stopped bleedings. You had lost only one man, who had been shot three times. You tried truly your best, but you couldn’t do shit without equipment.

You could feel how the wound was starting to bleed once again and how dizzy you had become. Alex was trying to stop you from going to help another man, telling you that you should sit down, when one paramedic took you by the shoulders.

It was Mark, a paramedic who would frequent your hospital. He was about Dr. Robby’s age, and he was the one you would always joke around because he looked so much like Pedro Pascal.

“DR. (Y/N)?!” You blinked a couple of times at him, processing the fact that he was in front of you and then you nodded.

“Mark, hey, yes, it’s me. Have you already taken all the Reds?”

“Yes, yes, we did and now we have to take you, Doctor. That leg wound looks nasty.” Almost immediately, she shook her head. “No, no, do not waste places for me, I’m sure there is people worse than me. Please, Mark.” But the man didn’t budge.

“(Y/N), Robby would literally have my head if he found out I didn’t take you with me as soon as I saw you. And don’t even get me started with Abbott. Please come with me, I’m begging you.”

“(Y/N), please.” Alex also said, some tears in her eyes and you bit your lip, but finally nodded. With the paramedics here, you weren’t going to make such difference and the pain on your leg was fucking killing you. As the pain started to catch up on you, your knees buckled and if it wasn’t for Mark, you would have fell straight to the ground.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Mark took you into his arms, running to the parking lot since probably the ambulances were full. You could barely think, the pain almost numbing also your brain, think that probably didn’t mean anything good. You observed how he looked around. “YOU! IN THE TRUCK! You have space for two?!”

A male voice yelled back yes to him, that he had in the backseat and Mark quickly put her there, indicating to Alex to put pressure in the wound as it was starting to bleed out. You think that he told you something like stay alive, but you weren’t really sure. The car started and something that you could tell was that the man was driving fast.

Around five minutes later, while you were resisting the tiredness trying to dominate you, somebody hit the glass of the back of the truck and you turned your face around, seeing how a young boy with his widened eyes was screaming that somebody had stopped breathing. You blinked a couple of times and then adrenaline took over.

“STOP THE TRUCK!” Getting strength from God knows from, you screamed and the man driving immediately stopped. You throw your leg back to the floor, letting out a howl full of pain as you opened the door and got out of the truck, hearing how Alex was screaming at you to keep still.

Well, not for nothing they said that Doctors were the worst patients, right?

Helping yourself with the truck, going as fast as you could, you finally made it to the back. Understanding that you were also wounded, the young boy popped the truck open and helped you to get on, lifting your entire weight. You passed a death body, a woman shot in the arm and finally got to the man the boy was screaming about.

“GO TO THE BACKSEAT AND TELL HIM TO MOVE!” You ordered, putting yourself on top of the man starting comprehensions. The truck started once again, and you felt your exhaustion creeping and you sensed how a sob threatened to get out of your mouth. However, you shallowed it and focused on the man.

You didn’t know how much time passed, but the next time the truck stopped, the hospital where you worked came in view and Gods, you had never felt such relief in your entire life. Dr. Robby was the one who popped open the truck.

You didn’t let him say anything.

“Man in his last thirties, down for about five to ten minutes, GSW to the middle abdomen.” You said, almost robotically, and Dr. Shen took over, also glancing at you for a moment. You couldn’t say anything else because as soon as you saw how the man was being taken care of, you fell into the truck due to the pure exhaustion, shallow breaths leaving you. Your vision became blurry, and half of your body was trembling, while the pain in the leg became even worse.

“NO! (Y/N)!” Robby screamed, moving the other three people out of the way and giving them to another Doctor to get to you. He grabbed your face, looking for your eyes and you gave him a weak smile. You had never seen him in such a panic state, he looked like he hadn’t slept for days. It made you a bit sick. You, for obvious reasons, hadn’t had the time to think about everyone’s reaction in the Hospital once you arrived.

“Hi, Robby. Believe me, this wasn’t my idea for my free day.” He shook his head, and you could see how concerned he was. He quickly asserted your leg and the expression he did was a bit worrying.

“I NEED A GOURNEY!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, moving you, but you immediately jerked your head.

“No, no, do not waste a bed in me Robby I swear to God, I’M FINE!”

“YOU’RE NOT FINE, (Y/N)!” You heard Dr. Shen scream, thing that was actually weird since you couldn’t remember many times on which you had heard him raise his voice like this.

Robby completely ignored you, taking you into his arms and putting you in one of the gurneys, starting to move as fast as he could. Two nurses appeared on each side, one of them being Dana. “Oh, hey Dana. How’s my favorite nurse?” You asked, feeling yourself fall into a completely delirious state due to the pain and you heard how she let out a wet chuckle.

“We were so worried, sweetheart.” When you entered the ER, every single head turned around and once again, everybody froze, the vision of seeing such a good and strong Doctor bleeding out from her leg probably shocking them. Screams started to be heard, some of them asking if it was really you, others wondering what had happened. In the blink of an eye, Dr. Abbott appeared, putting himself on the other side of Robby.

“Hello, Dr. Abbott. I missed you pleasure of your company.” You words were blurred since you could barely focus on anything else that wasn’t your own pain. You noticed how they put you in one of the rooms, the place quickly became a mess of people getting out and in. When they moved you to the table, you cried in pain, the adrenaline rubbing off and the pain going up.

“PUSH SOME MORPHINE IN!” Dr. Robby screamed, tearing your pants apart and you observed how blood started to get out of the wound, probably meaning that the bullet had moved and tear an artery or vein. “WHEN DID YOU APPLY THE TOURNIQUET?!” He screamed, glancing at you and you didn’t understand the question, only being able to look at your own leg.

“Oh God. Am I going to lose my leg?” You asked, totally forgetting that you were a Doctor. Then, you glanced at Dr. Abbott. “Does that mean I can start to say that I’m your daughter? You know, we would be the duo father-daughter-with-one-leg-less.” You laughed at your own joke, until they grabbed your leg, and you screamed out of pure pain.

“(Y/N) for fucks sake, answer his question. Why the hell isn’t the morphine kicking in?!” Now that you have noticed, Dr. Abbott, just like Robby, looked sick. His features were tight, but there was a slight shaking that told you he was definitely more than concerned. Probably angry too, looking at his eyebrows furrowed. You had never heard him scream in such a desperate tone, always the one in control of his emotions, especially in the ER.

“Around 6:10? I don’t know.” You finally replied.

“Oh God, is that (Y/N)?!” You heard a female voice, probably Dr. McKay, shout, but you couldn’t pay attention, everything already becoming too hazy, probably due to the morphine.

“Will I stop being your favorite if I indeed lose my leg?” You asked Dr. Abbott and Dr. Robby with a weak voice, tilting softly your head to the side and smiling at them. You heard how, to your surprise, Robby let out a chuckle.

“I don’t think there is anything you can do to stop being our favorite, (Y/N).” Robby replied and a second later, he screamed for people to bring him more pads and those words made your smile bigger.

“Oh, so you admit it! I’m your favorite.” You felt giddy and weirdly satisfied. You had always heard the nurses and other Doctors saying it, but they had never said it out loud, probably avoid creating a problem playing favorites.

“Anyone who pays attention for two fucking seconds can guess who our favorite is, kid.” Dr. Abbott mumbled and those were the last words you heard before darkness took over.

»»————-　🩺　————-««

Feeling your entire body heavy, you began to slowly wake up, blinking and trying to get use to the room where you were. It took some seconds for you to recognize that it was a hospital room and a moment later, all the memories from the festival came back.

“(Y/N)?” You turned your head to your right, where the voice was coming from and you quickly recognized that Dana was the one talking to you. A small smile formed in your face.

“Hey Dana.” Your voice was weak, barely a whisper and after hearing you, she brought to you a glass of water that you immediately drank in one setting. Gods, you didn’t realize you were this thirsty.

“Hi, kid. You don’t know how glad I’m to see you awake. Wait a minute, I will bring Robby and Abbott.” She squeezed your hands once and got up, leaving, thing that made you feel weirdly uneasy. You didn’t want to be alone, the memories of the shooting too fucking fresh. Yes, you were an Emergency Medic, but it didn’t make it easier. Not knowing what had happened to all of them made it worse.

Thankfully, Dana didn’t lie about the minute, because you didn’t even have the time to process that she was back with the two Doctors at her back. Once they saw you awake, Dr. Robby thrown himself in the closest chair, rubbing his face harshly with one of his hands, probably feeling the stress leaving his body. Dr. Abbott didn’t sit down, he just walked to one of your sides and took you by the wrist, unconsciously feeling your pulse. Once he did, he blindly grabbed a chair and sat down exactly where he was.

“(Y/N), how are you feeling? Any dizziness, pain, discomfort?” He asked, all professional, because you at the moment were a fucking patience. You hated it, but remembering how worried they were, you answered the questions.

“No, no, I’m fine. Just a bit of a headache, but I think it’s because the memories came back way too fast.” They both let out a sigh full of relief at this. Yet, you didn’t stay quiet for long. “Am I losing my leg?” You asked, your voice shaking a bit and your heart tightened with fear. You hadn’t even begun to think about how your life would change it that was a case, and Gods knew you were horrible with changes, this would throw your life out of balance for a long time.

To your relief, though, Dr. Abbott quickly shook his head.

“No, (Y/N), don’t worry, you won’t lose your leg. The injury, thankfully, wasn’t that bad. You lost a lot of blood, and we had to do surgery to get the bullet out, but there isn’t permanent damage. The recovery will take time, I won’t lie to you, but you will be fine.” Your tense shoulders relaxed, feeling how the tension you were feeling practically since you were shot left your body. You felt like you were about to cry, thing that was horrifying because you despised crying publicly, but God, you had been under so much stress and pressure you hadn’t even realize it had gotten this bad.

“Thank you.” You whispered, gulping, trying to easy down the know in your throat and both Doctors smiled at you. Before they could say anything else, though, Dr. McKay, Dr. Shen and Dr. Ellis rushed in, both of them smiling at the sight of you awake and fine. “Hey girls and Shen. Missed me?” Dr. McKay let out a chuckle, coming closer and grabbing one of your hands, smiling at you.

“It’s really good to see you alright, kid.” Said, her voice trembling a bit and you smiled, nodding. Dr. Ellis peeked from Dr. McKay’s back.

“Yes, you have no clue how good it really is, (Y/N). We were worried sick.”

“Yes, for fuck’s sake, never do that shit again.” Dr. Shen also spoke, his usually calmness behavior clearly gone, replaced by a man who had been clearly under tons of stress over the last hours.

After that, all three of them stayed in the back of the room, probably needing some more time to process the fact that you were truly okey.

“(Y/N), do you have any idea how many people you saved out there?” Dr. Robby started to talk, looking straight at you, his voice soft and you gulped but shook your head.

“No, not really. I lost count at the third tourniquet I did.” You grimaced, knowing that wasn’t a positive thing. Staying aware of the patients you had assisted was one of the most important things in such a rush place like the ER, but God, some images were so blurry. If they left you some time, you could probably write a full report about every single person you had helped, but right now, thinking that much was not easy.

“You helped about twenty-five people, (Y/N). Twenty-five whiles being injured from a bullet wound. Have you got any idea how crazy that is?” You quickly blushed, biting your lips.

“I didn’t realize they were that many. I was just functioning on a high level of adrenaline.” Dr. Robby got up and walked closer to you, a proud smile on his face.

“Most of them wouldn’t have made it without you helping them first, kid. You did an amazing job out there. To say that I’m damn proud wouldn’t even begun to cover it.” You let yourself smile, blinking some tears away. Damn, you were too sensitive today.

“Thanks, Robby.” You softly replied and then, Dr. Abbott spoke.

“We will talk later about the fact that you were running around with such injury in your thigh knowing how dangerous that is, but Robby is right, kid. You were the best of us. You reacted fast, assessed every situation with a perfect precision and even calmed down the people that were with the injured ones. You should be as proud of yourself as we feel.” Alright, with those words, without being to avoid it, a tear left you left eye. You didn’t know how bad you needed them to tell you this, to validate the horrible things you had to do. And it wasn’t normal to hear Dr. Abbott throw this many praises, you will definitely remember those words forever.

“Did all the Reds made it? There was this white guy with a bullet in his stomach and this kid I applied CPR to. Are they alright?” You couldn’t help yourself. After all, how could you? They were your patients first.

“Yes, (Y/N), every single patient that made it here with a color already assigned are alright. You saved me a lot of time doing that, kid. Seriously. Some of them are already awake and asking for you.” Dr. Shen replied this time, smiling at you and you let out a loud sigh, fully relaxing for the first time in the entire fucking day.

“We told you, you did a perfect job. None could have done it better than you. That’s why you are the damn fucking best.” Dana told you, putting a hand in your face and caressing it softly and you leaned into her touch, needing this type of comfort after going through that horrible experience.

Then, you realized that this was the first day of those interns you had met earlier, and you gasped.

“Oh God, are the interns alright? Mass casualties in your first day can’t be fucking easy, poor kids.” Dr. Ellis snorted, shaking her head.

“Of course you are worried about them.” You grimaced. Yeah, you couldn’t help yourself with the usual concern you felt towards practically everybody, even some interns you had barely met a few hours ago.

“Yes, kid, they are alright. A bit shaken up, but they truly did great. Took me by surprise, actually.” Dr. Robby replied, sighing and you smirked.

“How do you always get the best ones? Do you have some kind of contract we don’t know about?” Laughs were heard around the room, thing that was truly great after such a hard day.

“You have no idea how much we missed today, (Y/N).” Dr. Robby said and you batted a hand in his direction.

“Don’t worry, I’m here now and I won’t be leaving any time soon.” Then, you noticed that there was one person missing. “Hey, where’s Dr. Langdon? I want to see that asshole face.” You practically felt how a weird tension lifted in the room at your innocent question, and you frowned. What had you lost here?

“He had to leave early family emergency. We will tell him that you are well and asking about him, don’t worry.” Dr. Robby reply was bear and you pouted but didn’t ask further, wanting this tension to go away.

»»————-　🩺　————-««

Two days later, you were still in the hospital. You were getting better; tomorrow, you started the long path of being able to walk normally again. It wasn’t going to be pretty and since you were a pretty impatient person, it would probably be even worse for you, but you were determined. You needed to get back to your feet to get back to your job, the thing you loved the most in life.

Dr. King had been assigned to you, the new R2 and even if you had met her two days ago, she had already become one of your favorite people in the entire hospital. She was one of the few that didn’t treat you like you were broken, and you liked her bluntness.

Right now, you were playing some cards game called go fish, since she told you she needed a break after treating a loud lady who screamed way too many times at her. You were glad she came here, feeling good at the fact that she found the room you were safe. Nevertheless, once you were a couple of minutes in the game, somebody knocked the door. You turned your head around and saw Dr. Robby at the door.

“Hey there, Dr. Robby.” You said, dedicating him a soft smile and he nodded. You noticed though, how behind him, there were some people waiting to enter the room and you frowned, glancing at him, confused.

“So, (Y/N), there are some people here that want to meet you. Can they come in?” You finally realized where this was going, and you suddenly got nervous. You never did well when patients thanked you, feeling like you were just doing your job, but you also knew that they probably needed this as some kind of closure, so, you nodded. Then, you glanced at Dr. King and leaned in her direction.

“Hey, I think things might also get a bit loud here. Nothing too bad, but I don’t want to overwhelm you further.” The woman glanced at the door, widening her eyes probably seeing the amount of people out there and she blinked a couple of times before nodding.

“Okey, um, I will see you later, Dr. (Y/N)” She got up and awkwardly said goodbye with one of her hands, thing that made you smile.

“Bye, Dr. King. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do out here!” You replied, lifting your thumbs up and the other woman turned around, frowning and tilting her face.

“There are many things you can do out there that I legally can’t do, Dr. (Y/N), like…” Then she quiet down and smiled, shaking her head. “It was another joke, right?” She asked and you winked an eye in her direction. She chuckled but left the room, saying a last goodbye.

Robby looked at you and then at the direction where Dr. King had left.

“You haven’t known her for two days and you already adopted her?” He asked, raising his eyebrows and you lifted your shoulders.

“What can I say? I really like her, Robby. I will bribe some nurses to get her in my shifts.” He fondly shook his head, but then, he sighed and pointed at the door.

“Well, Dr. (Y/N), I have here some of the people you saved. They wanted to meet you, so, here they are.” After he finished talking, people started to fly in, and you lost count after the ninth person entered. You knew all of them, though. Some of them were victims you had helped, others family that were in the scene. The image of all of them together made you a bit shaky, but it also made you feel warm. You had saved a lot of their lives.

“Hi, Dr. (YN), I’m Marie Bush. My mom is Olive Bush. You saved her life with the tourniquet in her arm, the doctors told me she wouldn’t have made it without it. I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am.” The daughter you remembered pretty well started. She was white, brunette and had some pretty blue eyes. She had walked closer and had stretched her hand in your direction, but froze, not really knowing what to do. You smiled at her and took her hand into yours, squeezing softly.

“Hello Marie. You already know, but I’m Dr. (Y/N). You can just call me Y/N, though. I’m really glad to hear that your mother is alright. Send her my regards.” And just like the young woman, all of them have their thanks to you. You spent your whole day hearing names, learning personal stories and feeling so much greatness towards you it was overwhelming. You had saved people with children, people with perfect lives and amazing careers.

You haven’t felt this proud about yourself in a long time.

[lac3void]

"fuck of the year"?!

rival zayne x rival reader

description- you were so close to beating him! one more award and you could’ve had beaten him but of course your workplace had to screw you over and hand you both the same award making you draw once more but what happens when zayne just had enough?

warnings - unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), rough (?) sex, bangning in a public bathroom, dirty talk, edging (only if you squint), and confession (eek!) and all those shenanigans. lmk if im missing something else 

a/n- its been a year daddy and i am back (writers block is still present). this is lowkey inspired by a c.ai bot by anticyra (literally the loml, i love their bots) so this will be a turn of my filthy imagination.

----

you didn’t expect the sudden turn of events when the announcer said both of your names for the “Physician of the Year” award. no wonder they had you both seated together at the same table.

you and zayne have this unspoken rivalry between you two when it comes to taking care of your patients and your jobs. it was something you both did in medical school as well –mentally however–, even though he graduated before you. 

this rivalry officially started when you both ran into each other at Akso where you were referred to by your school. turns out, your school referred him too and you both had an interview on the same day. out of pettiness, you both exchanged numbers so you would be able to brag about who the better doctor was and who got the job there. turns out, you both got a call back on the same day (spoiler: you got the call first) 

you were so close…just one more, one more award and you could have beaten your record against him but the odds were yet again, not in your favour. 

zayne walked by you, a jab on your back broke you out of your daze. 

you put on your best smile as you stand up and head towards the stage. once you reached the podium, slightly bowing as a thank you, you accepted your award. the announcer handed you the mic for a small speech but your mind went totally blank.

as you grabbed the mic, you were about to spew out some random nonsense before zayne took the mic out of your hands and began to introduce the both of you. stunned, you listen to what he has to say. 

“i’ve always believed that what we do in deep space should speak for itself, but if this award is an indication that we’re being seen, then i give my thanks. but i’d be remiss if i didn’t acknowledge my colleague who’s receiving the same recognition tonight.” you heard a hint of bitterness in his tone. 

“We’ve had our differences, but I suppose it’s not entirely surprising that we’d end up here together. after all, it’s not every day you’re up against someone with such… a unique approach to things.” 

he finishes his speech before handing the microphone and both your awards back to the MC. the awards presented were just for pictures and for show and that they would mail you your real ones in a couple of days.

confused as to why he put yours away as well, he walked off the stage before grabbing your wrist and walking you both off, your eyes widening at the sudden action. his hand was tightly wrapped around your wrist as he dragged you out to the hallway, your protests falling deaf on his ears. the buzz of the others in the room died down as he dragged you further and in an instant, you’re pulled into an empty bathroom. 

the cold door presses against your back, the weight of his hand on your wrist all too familiar, like an echo from years of fighting for the same recognition. you’re both winners, but it just doesn’t feel like that. 

not when he’s standing over you like this, with a smirk that’s equal parts satisfaction and challenge.

“you look like you’re ready to say something,” zayne’s voice is low, with an edge you don’t often hear from him. it’s not teasing. it’s almost like a dare.

your breath catches in your throat as you try to shake off the fog of competition that’s clouded your thoughts. his grip, though tight, is not painful. the way his fingers curl around your wrist—it’s almost possessive, but he’s not hurting you. he doesn’t have to, he doesn’t want to.

“i wasn’t expecting this,” you manage, words coming out shakier than you intend. his eyes bore into yours like he’s studying every shift in your expression. he knows what’s coming next. he always does.

“no?,” zayne murmurs teasingly, his lips curling into something dangerously close to a smile. “i don’t think either of us was expecting it. but, then again, it’s been a long time since we’ve expected anything from each other, hasn’t it?”

his thumb grazes over your wrist, a slow, deliberate motion that makes your pulse jump. the tension between you both has always been palpable, but now it’s different. it’s not about winning anymore, it’s about what’s left unsaid.

you open your mouth to retort, but he’s faster, using his free hand to tilt your chin upward, forcing you to meet his eyes. there’s something almost possessive in his gaze. “you’ve always been the one to make the first move,” he whispers, just inches from your lips.

the proximity sends a thrill through you, one you haven’t felt in years, and yet, you can’t shake the nagging feeling that all of this—this closeness, this challenge, this unspoken attraction—is more complicated than you want it to be. “you’re not winning this time,” you reply, your voice steadier now but the dampening of your panties tells a different story. 

zayne lets out a soft laugh, the sound low and dark. “we’ll see about that.”

with that, he smashes his lips onto yours. its needy, full of emotion and want. you gasp slightly into the kiss, a bit taken aback from his sudden action but you didn’t push him away. years of pent up frustration, feelings, and hate all coming out in a single kiss. 

his hands trail down to your waist, pulling you into him as he kisses you like he wants to consume you whole, your lips move along with his with much fervor and want. you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him close, pulling a breathy groan out of him. 

his soft hands squeeze your waist before pulling away from your lips and spinning you around to face the door, your back against his chest. “always getting on my damn nerves”, he spits out as he trails his hands up and down your thighs, lifting your dress up slowly with his ministrations. 

“z-zayne”, you gasp out as you felt his hands run up and down your inner thighs as he slowly spreads your legs apart, the action making your knees buckle as you gripped onto his wrist. “hm?”, he teases as he kisses up your shoulder to your nape. 

his lips ghosted over your ear as he whispers, “you look so fucking good like this”. he pressed himself harder against you, his body flush against yours as you let out a breathy moan. 

zaynes hands gripped your thighs, his fingers digging into your skin. “we need to be quiet baby, we don’t want anyone hearing us now, do we?” his voice low against your ear as fingers ghosted up towards your clothed cunt. 

you sigh, your eyes fluttering shut as you bite your lip softly. “words, baby. i need to know you want this as badly as i do because i just can’t hold back anymore”, his whimpers against your ear, his fingers brushing against your dampened panties. 

“zayne, just- stop teasing and fuck me”, you groan out. thats all he needed before you heard him unzip his pants as he pushed your underwear to the side, feeling his fingers ghosting your wet folds. 

you let out a choked groan as you felt his fingers against your wet cunt. “zayneee”, you whine. “stop teasing and hurry up. people are going to wonder where we went off-”, your sentence is cut off when you feel his cock stretch you out. you let out a loud moan causing zayne to slap his hand across your mouth. 

“fuck”, he cursed under his breath. “we don’t want them to hear how good i make you feel, hm?”, he murmurs against your ear as he slowly stretches you out. 

your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt him reach deep into you, biting and drooling against his hand. “you drive me crazy, you know that?”, he picks up his pace as he feels you drool against his hand. 

“always trying to one-up me, isn’t that right? always arguing with me and running that pretty little mouth of yours”, his words are tumbling out as he fucks you dumb. 

as he continues to ram into you, one of his hands trails up to your neglected clit as he begins to play with your bud. you clench around him tightly, moaning against his hand as you feel the pressure build up in your tummy. “zayne”, you mumble against his hand. 

he hums before moving his hand away from your mouth. “yes, baby?”, his tone teasing as he withdrew himself from you slightly, making you whine at the loss of contact. 

“please” you whine, your breath catching as he rubbed his thumb over your sensitive clit. “i was so close, please zayne, let me cum”, you please.

his lips curled into a smirk as he tilted your head up with his other hand. “are you begging me, sweet thing?”. 

your pride was far gone out the window as you pleaded shamelessly. “yes, please zayne”, you panted. you were just on the edge, before he slams his hips into you once again. “you’re so pretty like this”, he coos. “so cute, so pretty”, he mumbles as his fingers begin to play with your clit once again.

you let out a soft moan as you clench around him tightly, the coil in your tummy about to snap. “zayne, im gonna cum”, you whine as you arch into him. he snapped his hips a bit harsher as he leaned in close, his teeth grazing your earlobe. 

“thats right, cum for me”. his words were enough to push you over the edge, your body trembling as the waves of pleasure washed over you, your jaw slacking in a silent scream. his free hand tilted your head up harshly as he slammed his lips onto yours before you could let out a loud moan as spilled into you, his hips stilling as he held you tight against him. he pulled away from your lips before he spoke up. 

“fuck, i love you”, he whispered breathlessly against your ear as his head hung against your shoulder.

your eyes widen as his confession snapped you out of your haze, turning your head to face him. "what did you just say?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. you knew you heard him correctly, but you needed to hear it again.

zayne lifted his head, his eyes locking onto yours. he looked almost vulnerable in that moment, his cocky smirk replaced by a look of genuine affection.

"did i stutter? i said i love you"

[moonstruckme]

Omg i love your Dr. Remus fics so much, i’m literally obsessed! I had this idea but idk if it makes sense…

Is there any way that you can write one where the reader is getting treated at the hospital and the IV that remus places causes a burst vein or has a bad reaction to some medication. Neither are Rem’s fault- how could he have known you were allergic to that medication?

Cue angst as remus stays by your side and comforts you, while you reassure him that you’re alright and there’s love and comfort all around.

thanks for checking this out bestie ❤️

Thank you for requesting my love

cw: hospital, mention of IV and anaphylaxis

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 465 words

Remus is emanating guilt. His thumb moves over the top of your hand, just short of your IV like he can protect you from it belatedly. You love him so much it hurts. 

“I’m feeling a lot better,” you say. Your voice sounds far less hoarse than it had. 

He gives you a smile that doesn’t meet his eyes. “Yeah? That’s great.” 

“Do you think I might be able to go home today?” 

Remus’ expression creases, guilt burrowing further into the indent between his brows. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I’d like to think so, but we still have to kick the infection and we may want to observe you overnight.” He kisses your knuckles apologetically. “You know I’ll stay with you either way.” 

You give him your own miniature smile. “Thanks.” 

He echoes it back, and you both fall quiet. 

“You couldn’t have known I was allergic to that stuff,” you say gently. 

Remus’ lips press together in a line. “I know.” 

“I mean, even I had no idea. It wasn’t on any records or anything.” 

“I know, dove. Thanks.” 

Another silence lapses. You watch your boyfriend, who looks down at the sheets of your hospital bed. You squeeze his fingers. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

Remus puffs out a sigh. Gives you a sad smile. “I guess I’m thinking that I’m rather selfish.” 

It pangs like an insult against you, right in the center of your chest. “What?” 

“I see people go into anaphylaxis all the time,” he says, thumb still running over your knuckles absentmindedly, “but it’s never been as scary for me as when it happened to you just now. I almost forgot what to do.” 

“You didn’t, though,” you reassure him, leaning forward to ask for a kiss. Remus obliges you, and his lips are warm and sweet against yours. “You fixed it. You always do.” 

He dots a kiss onto the bridge of your nose. “I never like seeing you in pain,” he admits, “and seeing how scared you were, too…it was hard.” 

Your gut twists. “I’m sorry,” you say. 

Remus tsks. “What’re you sorry for, sweetheart? You were the one having an allergic reaction that I gave you.” 

“Yeah, by using medicine to try and save me from an infection my stupid body gave itself.” 

“Well,” he says, tone warming with amusement, “that’s hardly fair.” 

“Yeah, doesn’t seem fair to either of us. Truce?” 

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes, lovesick even when he’s pretending not to be. “Truce,” he agrees. He gives your fingers a fond squeeze. 

“Good.” You smile at him. “I think our first act of allyship should be busting me out of here before anyone tries to make me stay the night. What do you think?” 

Remus huffs a laugh. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

[sugarushwriting]

look what you made me do

stalker jungwon x reader part 3

content and trigger warnings: many. just know this is ALL a work of fiction.

kinda long and a wild ride [not proof read]

“would you walk upright?” jungwon growled between his teeth, walking you up the dirt, narrow path to a front door of a cabin.

“my leg is still healing!” you snapped back.

jungwon held you with your hands behind your back, leading you towards the secluded cabin in the woods.

he unlocked and opened the front door, leading you in to the tiny cabin. “where do i sleep?” you asked, wondering how many beds there were and if he was going to make you sleep with him.

“in the basement with the other two.” jungwon replied, and lead you towards another door towards the back, unlatching the lock, before revealing a dark, narrow staircase. he began to lead you down the steps carefully.

you swallowed, and you literally were surprised. you must’ve really pissed him off at the hospital, because he was no longer giving you grace.

it first started when you tried to write a note to one of the nurses asking for help. you thought jungwon was asleep—but he wasn’t.

“what’cha writing?”

you startled, quickly putting down the pen, and attempted to hide the paper, but he was quick to snatch it. reading it, he gave you a disappointing glance but said nothing.

the second time, you attempted to get out of bed, as you were sure jungwon was sleeping. except you were caught when your bed alarm went off due to you being a fall risk.

the third and last attempt, the doctor and nurse were at your side, jungwon stepped out for a phone call.

“i’m not his wife, please you have to help me!” you rushed out in panic.

almost too fast, they didn’t hear you as you were mumbling as well. you couldn’t risk jungwon hearing you.

your eyes quickly darted to the door, jungwon not paying you any mind, before you almost yelled, “i’m not his wife! help me!”

that caught the attention of the medical staff, but jungwon as well, as he ran into the room.

but jungwon had the perfect cover up.

“oh, she had a nasty brain injury when she was younger, so often times she forgets things either for seconds at a time or even years.” jungwon waved off. “and with this new fall, i’m sure it didn’t help at all.”

the doctors were able to confirm it from past medical records of you visiting the doctor for the tbi and different instances of forgetfulness.

you were fucked.

reaching the last step in the basement, you nearly tripped over your feet as jungwon turned on the light revealing cage like rooms you’d see at an animal shelter.

in two of them was danielle and asa. they both sat up, running to bang on the chain linked door, their mouths open from shock and crying.

they were dressed in nothing but a plain black tank and black spandex shorts.

jungwon pushed you in one of the cages from across them. you landed to your knees with a thud and an ‘ouch.’

you looked up at jungwon who had a face of no emotion, threw the same clothes the other two girls were wearing at your face.

“change. i’ll be back with some guests.” jungwon stated, locking the door. he then turned to danielle and asa with a menacing smile.

“you two eat. make sure you get enough for energy.”

“why?” asa choked out.

“it’s hunting season.” jungwon replied.

no way to tell time, but it seemed to be never ending hours, the door to the basement door unlatched and footsteps padded down the steps. two sets. all three of you girls stood up, weak.

jungwon came in view with kai.

“kai?” you whispered out. kai smiled.

“which one do you want?” jungwon asked. “just not her,” he pointed to you, “you know she’s mine.”

“danielle.” kai smiled.

and with that, jungwon unlocked the door to her cage, dragging her out. “let’s go.” jungwon ordered.

danielle began begging for her life and babbling doing anything and everything to please and beg. both men ignored her, as they drug her up the stairs. the basement door latched once again.

“what do you think they’re doing?” you choked out, holding back a sob.

asa stared at you, tears streaming down her face, “you heard him,” she sniffled, “it’s hunting season.”

you let out a loud sob, covering your mouth, walking backwards to where your back hit the wall and you slid down.

asa went quiet, trying to keep herself warm in the lack of clothes you all were given. there was a few small rectangular windows to see the ground outside, and it seemed to be dark, now raining with drops smacking the window.

again, no telling the time, just seemed hours away, more footsteps were heard and the latch of the basement door.

this time jungwon came down with ni-ki. jungwon smiled, “you’re the lucky winner with asa.”

ni-ki grinned, “perfectly fine with me. always thought she was pretty. too bad she was always a bitch.”

asa quietly sobbed in her cage, and tried to back into a corner as jungwon went to open her cage. he paused, “you’re a feisty one, behave.”

ni-ki chuckled, and jungwon finished opening the cage. luckily asa listened and didn’t try anything. it was probably best.

“what—why?” asa asked softly as ni-ki took a hold of you. “are you hunting us?”

both men smiled. “yep.” jungwon said.

“but there’s a twist.” ni-ki said.

“what’s that?” you asked.

the boys seemed proud of their plan. “you run, we hunt. if you get away from the electric fence line, you’re free to go.”

“if you catch us?” asa asked.

“you become our bitch.”

“and if we don’t agree?” you snarked.

both boys looked at you, then asa, then each other, back to asa. “we kill you.”

“what—what happened with danielle?”

“eh, i’ll leave that up to your imagination.”

with that, jungwon and ni-ki began forcing asa up the stairs. “it’s not fair! it’s two against one!”

“i’ll be the only one hunting you, dear.” ni-ki said to asa.

once you heard the latch of the basement door, you began to pace in the small enclosure. if you get caught you become their bitch. what could that mean?

stay at home maid? housewife? pet? slave? sex toy?

you shuddered. you had to escape, you had to find that damn electric fence. but how? you were in a secluded part of the woods. no telling how many miles—acres of land this was.

but what happens once you get free? do they just hunt you all over again and stalk you? make you live your life in fear?

your thoughts were interrupted with a gunshot.

“no!” you screamed, running up to the chained fence door. “asa! no!”

was she caught? did she choose death? did ni-ki go rogue? footsteps thudding from above, then halted. the basement door unlatched, and down came jungwon.

“asa,” you whispered out

“ni-ki needs to control that damn temper of his.” jungwon mumbled, then looked up at you. “she’s alive, just shot in the arm. fucker wanted to scare her into submission. didn’t even give her the 30 second head start like we agreed.”

“jung—jungwon.”

“don’t worry squid, your hunt will begin tomorrow.”

he grabbed a pillow and blanket from the shelf nearby, and opened the cage to throw them in, before quickly locking in back.

you thought, maybe he didn’t actually lock it? remembering your hand ties, they weren’t tight!

when the door latch was heard, you tried your hardest to get the door open—but failed. this time, jungwon wasn’t pitying you.

the next morning came. jungwon fed and left you alone. same with afternoon and evening. it wasn’t until it was pitch dark outside he came back down, wearing all black himself.

“time to hunt.” he smiled and went to open your cage. “try anything funny and i won’t hesitate to kill you.” he threatened and you nodded.

you had no weapon other than a damn pillow.

quickly dragging you upstairs, he threw you out the front door, him locking behind it behind you both. “you have 30 seconds to run.”

you looked at him from the ground where you landed. “huh?”

jungwon began to countdown, “29, 28, 27,” he clicked his tongue and you threw your body up, running as much and fast as you can towards the woods with your hurt leg.

you ran and ran and ran, soon the pain subsiding as you were running on pure adrenaline through the trees, dirt, fallen logs and branches, over snakes probably.

but you didn’t look back, not once. not even when you heard a gunshot and a dog barking.

your breathing was hard, you were fighting off tears, and tried to focus on the path ahead. your eyes happened to look up and you found an old tree house. looked like it hadn’t been used in years, as it was falling apart.

should you hide, or should you keep running? you decided to climb the branches like you used to as a child as the ladder was nonexistent to this treehouse.

a flash came to your mind of your younger self doing so, but you paid no mind.

when you got safely in the treehouse, since the trap door was open, you kept it open. you didn’t want anything to look out of place.

you huddled down in a corner, trying to control your breathing and sobs. you couldn’t let out much of a sound.

you looked side to side, seeing markings in the treehouse, markings that also brought back memories. your mind flashed a scene of you up in the treehouse with a little boy.

a younger jungwon.

“show yourself my squid!” you heard jungwon yell, throwing you out of memory lane.

could it be a real memory or something false?

you held you breath as if you were holding a bubble. you heard the dog bark. once. twice. then footsteps walk away. you heard a tree branch crack. “found you!”

only it wasn’t you. jungwon followed the noise, then, you heard a gunshot.

what just happened?

then you heard two voices you never thought you’d heard again.

“come down! it’s just us!”

asa and danielle. you quickly looked through the trap door and your eyes did not deceive you. it was yours friends frantically waving for you to come down.

you did. and when your feet hit the ground, you saw a body on the ground. a body dressed in all black. jungwon.

“what—what did you do?”

“it was either them or us.” danielle stated.

“them?” you squeaked.

asa grabbed your hand as you stood frozen, and followed danielle through the woods and soon a green pickup came into view.

“get in and we’ll explain.” danielle said.

“where are we going?” you asked, still in shock and fear.

“police station.”

on the drive, danielle and asa explained. danielle had somehow managed to overpower kai, hit him hard over the head with a giant rock. danielle stated she killed him. he wasn’t moving nor breathing. that’s when she took his keys and had to get a plan.

when danielle saw asa shot and being taken to ni-ki’s ride, danielle took the gun kai had stashed and shot ni-ki. she quickly went to help asa, and when they checked on ni-ki, he wasn’t breathing either.

that’s when they both knew you were next, hid out in the woods, and ambushed jungwon, shooting him. killing him.

“they’re all dead?” you mumbled out. danielle continued to drive in silence, asa grabbed your hand.

“remember, it was them or us.” asa sighed.

you all stayed in the police station, giving statements and talking to detectives for at least 9 hours. so to your surprise, all three of you were called back 4 days later to the same interrogation room.

“we found the cabin you all stated you were held, and it’s just like you all explained.” the detective nodded, showing pictures.

his partner looked at all three of you, “but there’s something that doesn’t add up.”

“what’s that?” you asked.

both detectives took in a deep breath, before one spoke, “the three dead men we found, do not match the identifications of the ones you gave us.”

“impossible!” danielle screeched, you and asa wide mouth in disbelief.

one detective took out photos of the dead bodies from the morgue. you all three, wide eyed, looked completely in disbelief.

in front of you were three men. but not kai, jungwon, or ni-ki. however, they were look-a-likes of the three.

“did you look where we told you?”

“we searched the entire property, miss.”

“i don’t believe you!” danielle huffed.

“well, the three you’re claiming did this have proof of plane tickets and being in a completely different country during this timeframe. been away almost a full month.”

“nope! no way!”

“we need you three to be truthful!”

“we are!” asa exclaimed.

“there’s two theories we have,” one detective said and the other began explaining.

“the first is these three men did do what you said they did, you all just believe it was the guys you claimed because they looked so much alike. you all did go to high school together and haven’t seen one another in a while, so maybe when these guys claimed to be the ones you thought, you believed them.”

danielle whispered, “what’s the second?”

the detective hesitated, “we should bring in a psychologist first.”

you slammed your fist on the table. “we’re not fucking crazy or making this shit up!”

“what’s your second theory?” danielle asked again.

“you and your girls were so distraught from the loss of your friend kelly, that you all went down memory lane, finally grieving the girls you once were. bullies. you all felt bad. took some bad hallucinogenic drugs, started hallucinating everything. possibly made it all up. these boys were the fall guys in some way.”

“unbelievable!” danielle threw her hands up. “we don’t even do drugs!”

“you three popped positive for some hallucinogenic substances.”

“stop talking.” asa said.

the detectives went to say something, “not you.” asa looked at you and danielle, “we’re no longer victims, we’re suspects.”

“aw come on, we didn’t say that,”

“we all want a lawyer. now.”

“wouldn’t a lawyer make us seem guilty?”

asa shook her head. “at this time, it doesn’t even matter.”

you three ended up being separated into separate interrogation rooms, with your lawyers.

how did drugs end up in your system? the only thing you can think of is when jungwon fed you all. but wouldn’t you have felt the affects then?

nothing made sense. none of it did.

they claimed kelly’s car accident was an accident. although initially they thought was one car, a driver came forward claiming to be impaired when they caused the wreck and ran.

you mentioned maya. you probably shouldn’t have, but you did. still, the detectives had so call proof that the three were in a different country.

they looked through each of your apartments. no trace of spy gear or anything out of place. same with the so called farm you girls remembered. yes, owned by yang jungwon, but the caretaker said no one has been there for more than a month. since jungwon went on vacation with some high school friends.

of course maya’s remains wouldn’t be found. the pigs ate them. the wood chipper was clean as can be.

you ran your hand through your hair in frustration, pulling at its ends. “this is a fucking nightmare.” you cried.

one of the detectives came back into the room to give you and your lawyer paperwork for release.

you looked over the guy, eyes furrowing in focus. why did he look so familiar? then, your eyes went wide. you swallowed, fighting back more tears.

when you read his name tag, your thoughts were answered simply by reading the name.

kim sunoo.

yang jungwon’s cousin.

“you are free to go for now miss. don’t leave the country.” the guy smiled. almost mockingly he added, “stay safe!”

[yeet-me-dad-dy]

The Arcane - Chapter Three - Blood and Bone

Summary: It's time for Viktor's first proper visit with his new doctor.

Characters: Viktor x Male Reader (Doctor Raven) x Jayce (eventually)

Warnings: Blood, needles

Words: 1,638

Viktor returned to the lab by noon, his approach heralded by the gentle click, click, click of his cane as he walked. With your exceptional senses, you could hear him exit the elevator and make his way down the hall. His footsteps, his breath, his gentle heartbeat…

The lab door opened with a hiss, and you turned to greet him with a smile. The heavy bags beneath his eyes were still dark, but his eyes themselves shone just a bit brighter. He’d also showered and changed his clothes, by the look of things.

“Afternoon, Viktor.”

“Doctor,” he nodded.

You invited him to sit in the chair near the chalkboard, where you would take a few samples of his blood.

“Sleep okay?” you asked as he sat heavily and you gathered your equipment.

“Well enough, with a mind as busy as mine.”

You chuckled. “I know what that’s like. Did you find something to eat?”

“Yes, an apple. To keep the doctor away,” he smirked.

The corner of your mouth twitched up into a smile.

You set your supplies out on a little metal table and rolled it and a chair of your own over to Viktor.

“Do you want to keep me away, Viktor?” you asked as he offered his arm to you.

He thought for a moment before replying with a soft, “no”.

“I would certainly hope not,” you smiled softly. “I would miss your company.”

“Already?” he asked sarcastically as he watched his blood fill a vial. “But we barely know each other, doctor.”

“All the same,” you chuckled.

A crease formed between your brow as you switched the first vial out to fill a second.

“Your blood is a strange color. Almost purple.”

“I noticed.”

You hummed, thoughtful.

“Do you have your medical records?” you asked.

“No, but you may be able to get them from my previous doctor.”

“And where is he?”

“The Undercity.”

You paused and looked up at him.

“The Undercity?”

He nodded.

“He was the closest to home.”

“I see…”

You didn’t realize that he was from the Undercity. It didn’t make a difference, but it could explain some things.

“Where in the Undercity?” you asked, as you finished up the second vial and hooked on a third.

“Mmm, I’d have to show you.”

“Would you?” you asked.

“Sure,” he nodded. “We can go after we’re finished here.”

“No,” you said, perhaps a little too hastily.

He tilted his head, curious.

“I can’t go during the day…”

He regarded the heavy curtains drawn over the big windows. His eyes went wide with realization.

“The sun.”

You nodded and unhooked the third vial, then removed the needle from his arm and pressed a cotton ball to the site. Instinctually, he held it in place while you grabbed the bandage.

“So vampires really do turn to ash in the sunlight, then?”

“Not immediately, but yes.”

You wrapped up his arm, disposed of the needles and your gloves, gathered the vials of his blood, and took them to each of their testing stations.

“The sunlight burns, quite literally,” you explained. “It’s more than a sunburn. Only a few moments in the sun can put me out of commission for quite some time.”

“There is so much misinformation surrounding your kind, I wasn’t sure if that one was true.”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

"UV sensitivity... interesting..." he mused.

He was as curious about you as you were about him. There was a brief lull in the conversation while you scribbled some notes in his file and he considered your unique "condition".

“I would like to do a physical examination, if you don’t mind,” you said finally. “To make sure you’re in good health otherwise.”

“Of course,” he agreed.

You asked him to remove his shirt, and turned around to locate the stethoscope. When you turned back with the device in hand, you were caught off guard by the metal corset covering most of his torso.

“Does that come off?” you asked.

"With a bit of difficulty, yes."

He stood while you helped him remove the corset, and then took a moment to get a good look at his crooked spine. You ran your fingers gently over it, tracing the curve. What he was currently wearing was keeping it from bending any more, but it wouldn't fix the problem. You, however, might be able to. With his help, of course.

"You need something better than this," you told him.

"I... have been working on a design," he told you hesitantly. "A brace that will bolt to my spine, with a removable chest piece. But I would need a doctor to perform the surgery to put it in place."

"I can perform that surgery," you said as you gestured for him to sit back down and pressed the stethoscope against his chest.

You didn't actually need the stethoscope in order to hear his heart and lungs, but it was helpful at pinpointing certain sounds in certain locations.

“Deep breath,” you ordered him, and he obliged. “Another.”

He didn’t like the tone in your voice. Soft, but mixed with concern. You moved behind him to listen.

“One more.”

When you finished listening, you moved away to scribble more notes. He waited patiently.

“Your heart and circulation sound good,” you began, leaning back against the blank chalkboard.

“I sense a ‘but’ coming on.”

“Your lungs don’t,” you said plainly.

He nodded.

“They don’t feel great either.”

As if on queue, he wheezed out a cough.

“You grew up in the Undercity?” you asked. “What is the air like down there?”

He scoffed.

“I grew up near the fissures. ‘Toxic’ is the only appropriate word.”

You cast your gaze downward, and a cold chill crept up Viktor’s spine. And then you were in your chair in front of him again, gazing at him with those deep ruby eyes. You rested your hand gently on his knee.

“I am your doctor, Viktor. My specialty may be blood, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the skills required to tend to the rest of your needs. I’ve spent the better part of my six-hundred years studying medicine, I’m going to do everything I can, use everything I’ve learned, to help you feel better.”

He was caught off guard by your conviction and the intensity of your gaze.

“I… I know you will, Doctor.”

“Good,” you smiled, and hopped to your feet, and he couldn’t help but notice just the slightest jerk in your hip, as if moving caused you pain. You didn’t pay it any mind, however, so it was an observation that he silently filed away for later.

“Can I take a look at your leg?” you asked.

“Of course.”

You averted your gaze while he stripped down to his underwear. There was a small bed on the opposite wall, and from it, you handed him a soft blanket, blue one one side, red on the other. He placed it in his lap. It wasn’t a hospital gown, but it was better than nothing. Your touch was gentle as you felt around his leg, cold fingers ghosting over his skin. He shivered.

“Sorry,” you chuckled. “Probably should have put gloves on.”

“It’s alright.”

You felt each side of his knee, and then asked him to slowly extend his leg, feeling for the movement of tendon, muscle, and bone beneath the skin. You checked his ankle and toes as well, and then asked him to stand so you could check his hip. He left the blanket on his chair and stood before you. You wheeled your own chair around to his side, and he jerked slightly when your hands found him again. He was used to this kind of treatment after a lifetime of doctor’s visits. But this was different. Your touch was firm, but gentle. Caring. He had felt like a burden with his previous doctor, who had terrible bedside manner. With you, though… You touched him like he was made of porcelain.

Your hand drifted backward slightly, and you squeezed, just a bit, as you asked him to rock his leg backward. Then, it traveled forward, in the crease between his inner thigh and crotch. He held his breath as he gently swung his leg forward. And then your touch was gone and you were rising from your chair. You leaned past him, so close, to grab the blanket and return it to him. Your scent lingered when you walked away. You scribbled some more notes as he sat back down, and he found the sound surprisingly comforting.

“I need to get some scans,” you said. “Your lungs, spine, and leg. But we don’t have the equipment for that here, so I’m going to have to consult with someone at the hospital. While we’re waiting for them, I’ll work on your blood. Oh, and your leg could use a brace as well. If you fell like taking on some homework, you could design yourself one.”

He hummed thoughtfully, and you turned back to see him huddled up in the blanket.

“Oh, uh… Sorry,” you chuckled. “You can get dressed.”

He would have offered a snappy comeback, something about liking seeing him with no clothes on, but he was distracted. His skin felt like it was buzzing everywhere you’d touched him. Wordlessly, he got dressed while you organized the newest notes into their place in his file. He noticed the way your gaze flicked toward him every now and again. You couldn’t help it. You found him infinitely fascinating, not because of his blood or his bones or his fancy mechanical braces, but because he was him. Because he was Viktor. Handsome, kind, brilliant Viktor.

“These tests will take some time,” you told him. “I expect Heimerdinger will need you to get back to work, but, if you ever need to come into the lab, for anything at all, you’re more than welcome. The door will remain unlocked.”

He smiled as he finished buttoning up his vest.

“Thank you, Doctor. Your kindness is much appreciated.”

“Of course.”

He lingered for only a moment before turning to leave. The door opened with a hiss, but your voice stopped him.

“Oh, and Viktor?”

“Hmm?”

You smiled.

“Have some lunch. Doctor's orders.”

[karinadele]

Hydromorphone

Ratchet x Reader pt:3 pt:1 pt:2

A/N: so hard to write... I just write less and less for each block... might need to revisit before I post on AO3 properly..

Warnings: Obsessed!Ratchet, Pregnancy, Medical, Literally giving birth, Still a little dead dove

Half a year seems like an eternity usually. Yet in the blink of an eye, 9 months have gone by. Ratchet has grown increasingly close to you. With each tidbit of knowledge that you’ve taught him about the human reproductive system, it only fuels his desire to become yours. And it doesn’t help that the lingering image of not needing to mass displace keeps circulating in his processors. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but something about being able to take him whole –as he is, makes him heat to his spark.

You’ve noticed it too. His devotion to you. It’s not everyday someone will physically transform themselves for your wellbeing. And yet, he’s done exactly that.

As you lay down on the berth in the medbay, Ratchet has one servo on it, the other holding you. 

Learning about the medical practice of performing ultrasounds to see the inside of you, he worked on his servos to transform it into one. One directly linked to him.

One would think it’s uncomfortable to have human data– data of another life, transmitted directly to you. But not Ratchet. To be able to physically be in contact with you. To be able to see the life you’re bringing in, with nothing but a few layers of flesh between. 

Pouring the ultrasound gel on your stomach as you let out a small whimper. The cold and sticking texture being rubbed on with a single digit by Ratchet. You know he’s just doing this to check on you, but the difference in texture is just too much for you to not notice.

Ratchet instantly filed that sound into his processors. Not showing any difference in his displayed emotions, but his vents gave off a wave of hot air. 

Sliding his now servo transformed transducer, as he glides it across your belly. You may not be able to see the sonogram, but he has it all recorded. Every movement inside you, of the baby, straight into his core processors. 

He could project it so that you can see the sonogram, but there was no need. Your regular appointments with human doctors has kept you up to date about how the baby is doing. This? This is just for Ratchet’s own peace of mind. Allowing him to be a little self indulgent about it. Perhaps one of the last times before your due date. As a doctor, you couldn’t deny his chance to have first hand –servo experience on studying the human body. 

You may think it’s just all in scientific endeavors, but Ratchet wants this just to be close to you. He won’t lie, studying human life is intriguing, but it’s because it’s you. Cybertron’s population only dwindles with the war, and to know that humans reproduce so easily… Only makes him think that perhaps, he could have a part in it.

Unsurprisingly, throughout this journey, you two have grown quite close. Bonding over the shared joy of a new life –albeit, was neither of yours, two being with nothing but love for life. 

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

“YOU WHAT?!” Ratchet exclaimed.

“MY WATER BROKE RATCHET.” You yell back. Stern and steady, but also panicking internally. 

Pulling himself away from his work, panic rings through him. What do you mean your water broke?! Does he call June right now?! Do you even have time?!

“Hold on, I’ll call June–”

You cut him off. “Ratchet! Forget her! By the time she gets here, It’ll already be over!”

Ratchet has no idea what to do. There’s no other bots on base, and he’s definitely not equipped to deliver a human baby.

“Ratchet!” You call out. “For fuck’s sake Ratchet! You’re an ambulance!” You finally snap with the strength you have left.

He’d nearly forgotten. There may be no other bots on base, but he is an emergency vehicle. Hurriedly he punches in the coordinates of the nearest hospital into the groundbridge. Not even remembering that there’s no one on base to close it after. Picking you up from the couch as he puts you down on the ground next to him. 

Taking a step aside as he transforms into his alt mode. “Get in.” He tells you.

Scrambling with a groan as you put your knee up into the ambulance’s back, climbing onto the stretcher. You’re fine. You tell yourself as you lay on the stretcher –why is there even a stretcher in here? Staring up to the ceiling of the van– of Ratchet. …Inside Ratchet?

Driving through the groundbridge as he switches his sirens on, speeding towards the hospital. Never in his life did he feel so helpless for a medical emergency. And to think, it’s you. 

You on the other hand, amongst the painful grumbles and heavy panting, didn’t even realize you were crowning. Unable to hear anything Ratchet is saying, or the sirens, as all of your senses are dulled just trying to focus on whether to clench your muscles, or to just start pushing. 

In the end, the body’s biology wins. Without even noticing, you cry out in pain, push after push.

Ratchet can't believe it. Not only did you give birth, but it happened in him. Of all beings this child has encountered, it was you and him. Primus help him.

Pulling up at the hospital, Ratchet’s calm demeanor is being washed with a wave of panic. Deciding the only way is to pull out a holoform. He couldn’t transform with you in him, or just drive into the hospital. A projection of his human avatar flickers into life in the driver’s seat. A middle aged man with dirty blonde hair and teal blue eyes opens the driver’s door as he steps out to carry you in. Pulling out the stretcher as it lands on the asphalt and rolling you into the hospital. Explaining to the intake staff your situation as you cradle the newborn, umbilical cord still attached. A bloody mess.

Soon enough, you’re upstairs in the maternity ward, with the doctors examined, your friends, and a holoform of Ratchet.

Ratchet doesn’t know who these two men are, or why they’re here. Nor do the couple know who Ratchet is. Unable to answer them when they asked for Ratchet’s relationship to you as he stammered.

“I’m her conj–” He stopped himself. Is he even your conjunx? Have you also accepted him? Would the human equivalent be ‘partner?’

“I’m her friend.” He ended up correcting himself. “The one that drove her here.” At least that part isn’t a lie.

What are these two men to you? They seem awfully attached to you, both sitting next to you as they cradle the newborn. Your child, in their hands. An internal turmoil of an unknown feeling battles in him. Frowning as he stares at the three of you. Wishing it was he that was next to you, holding your sparkling.

Jealousy.

Clenching his servos as he tells himself that you’re his. That he will mark you, have you carry his sparkling, That he’ll own you AND never let anyone else have contact with you. Certainly not the way these two men have.

[genderqueerdykes]

so this is very embarrassing to admit but im a full grown adult now (18), and i moved away from home to start my life over and hopefully transition. but i realized very recently that because of my dysphoria i actually never took anything in during sex ed (which was very bad to begin with) and i know nothing about my body as is. i'm 18 uears old and my body is not just not what i want it to be but i don't even know what steps i'd like to take in making my body my own because i know nothing about the body i currently have.

i dont know how my body works, i dont know what surgeries will do what. i feel so stupid and lost and embarrassed and going to a doctor for this seems even scarier now with the realization i don't know words to describe my parts, i don't know even the most basic of processes. please please please tell me you have resources for me?

if relevant, i'm afab and looking into masculinizing processes. though i'm sure that there's gotta be other folks in different bodies than mine that are just as lost... i just dont know how to start searching without feeling strange and alien. sorry for being rambly, you're just someone i trust to go to with this and i'm very lost.

i'm sorry you've been made to feel this way, but i'm saying this to reassure you:

nobody is a full grown adult at 18!

you literally just became an adult. you're a beginner at it. a "full grown adult" is someone who is 50+. don't let people worry you too much about your age. you're still developing as a person. you're very, very young. what sort of information do you need in specific? what do you need to know about how your body works?

these may help you for the time being:

Transbucket - A website containing information about medical transition including surgeons and reviews, before and after surgery results, cost of surgeries, and more.

TransGuySupply - Chest binders, packers, STP devices, and more.

TopSurgery.net - Website for locating top surgeons.

Underworks - Safe, trusted medical grade chest binders.

What do I need to know about transitioning? (Planned Parenthood)

I Think I Might Be Transgender - A pamphlet for potential/trans youth, with quotes from other trans youth.

r/FtM - reddit support community for transmasculine individuals.

FtM Surgery Overview (Crane Center for Transgender Surgery)

Metoidioplasty Overview (Crane Center for Transgender Surgery)

Phalloplasty Overview (Cleveland Clinic)

Phallo.net - Phalloplasty ExplainedMetoidioplasty.net - Metoidioplasty ExplainedVagina-Preserving Phalloplasty Overview (Phallo.net)

Non Binary Options for Metoidioplasty (Metoidioplasty.net)

More information on vagina-preserving phalloplasties (Queerdoc)

List of informed consent clinics in the United States that provide gender affirming care services.

National Center for Transgender Equality - Find out how to update your name and gender on state and federal IDs and records (United States)

Guidelines for the Primary and Gender-Affirming Care of Transgender and Gender Nonbinary People - UCSF Transgender Care

Rainbow Health Ontario - Social Transition

you can find the above and a lot more on my queer resources page:

if you would like more info on general sex ed, please check out this blog, they post lots of great information:

@certifiedsexed

feel free to come back with more specifics, i'll be happy to help with what i can!

[cheezb6llz]

Yandere shadow please 👉👈🥺

I have an autoimmune disease with my bones. ( rheumatoid arthritis) how would shadow react to a reader with said disability

OMG I HOPE I RESEARCHED GOOD ENOUGH HERE YOU GO SORRY IF THIS IS INACCURATE

YANDERE SHADOW X READER WITH RA

(rheumatoid arthritis)

Before the kidnapping, he’d notice subtle signs at first, he is INCREDIBLY observant. He doesn’t say anything at first, but he watches. Every time you flex your fingers like they’re sore, every time you rub your wrists in pain..

When he suspects something is wrong, Shadow starts digging. Whether it’s going through your medical records, watching you at the pharmacy, or following you to a doctor’s appointment.

When he finds out you have RA, it absolutely crushes him. He has an intense urge to protect you from EVERYTHING. He thinks this world doesn’t deserve you, so he’s going to make it easier. He becomes hyperaware of everything that could worsen your condition.

Carrying heavy bags? not anymore! Walking long distances? He can help with that, he’ll just teleport you wherever you need to go. Reaching for something high up? He’s already gone ahead and grabbed it for you.

He notices everything.

“You didn’t tell me you were hurting today, why did you hide it?”

He’s not angry, just a bit disappointed.. He wants you to need him.

One day your suffering made him decide he had enough. This world wasn’t safe enough for you! He could do a much better job. He had to.

“You won’t survive out there.. But with me? I’ll make sure you never hurt again.”

Well.. now after the kidnapping!

He’s removed everything you could trip on. There’s soft carpeting on the floor, soft lighting to avoid headaches, your medications organized neatly on a nearby shelf.. Every part of the room is designed so you never have to strain or reach too far. he literally avoided tying you up to make sure you’re not in pain.. just made sure that everything is locked TIGHT!

Even if none of this was necessary, he wanted you to have the best experience possible.

“I studied everything. You’ll be more comfortable here than you ever were out there.”

Seriously, he knows every single med you’ve ever been prescribed.. down to the side effects and timing.

He’ll hand them to you on the DOT, with water at the perfect temperature and food tailored to your diet. (he literally wont leave the room until you take it he would he genuinely distressed if he ever forgets to make you take them)

this man will not let you lift a FINGER, on bad flare up days he’ll help you with absolutely everything.

Shadow learns exactly where your pain flares up, making sure he avoids putting pressure on your joints and is insanely careful when dressing you, bathing or even cuddling.

He’s always whispering softly to you, but his words always end up circling back to how much you need him.. Still acting like being locked away with him is for your own good.

“You’re safe here, you don’t need to fight anymore.. Just let me take care of you.”

all this forced dependence is just how he sees his loving relationship with you! If you try to do anything alone while you’re clearly hurting, yeah, he’ll be a little upset.

“You don’t trust me to take care of you?” (of course not you literally kidnapped me!) “I took you away so you’d never have to suffer alone again.”

[i read somewhere that sometimes it can get worse in the cold, so here’s some of that!]

When the weather drops, he refuses to leave your side. He’ll wrap you in blankets, hold you close, maybe even carry you if you simply shiver. So yeah, if the cold worsens the pain, he’ll heat the whole house just for you.

“I don’t care how hot it gets in here. I’d rather burn than let you sit there and suffer.”

[nihilsan]

I think a lot about the way polydactyly is described in umineko ep1 because of the emphasis on the surgery to remove the extra digit often being done in early infancy (therefore without consent), with the intent of making the person "normal" while they grow up not even knowing about it...

of course this hints at sayo having her extra toe removed to hide her relation to kinzo, but I can't help but think about how it's specifically described in a way that evokes infant genital mutilation, especially considering sayo's backstory. all of her character reads like an allegory for intersex experiences imo, which also adds to her trans narrative. a major source of her suffering lies in how her gender struggles were complicated further by the reveal that her body was operated on without her knowledge, which led to sexual dysfunction and infertility.

the narration talks about the polydactyly surgery and reiterates the topic of bodily autonomy (already a big topic in umineko's first episode with the discussion of reproductive commodification of women's bodies) by mentioning how infants can be operated on to "fix" a part of their bodies to fit the idea of what "normal bodies" are like. the parallel to the mutilation of intersex bodies is very obvious to me. in sayo's case it was done as treatment for physical injuries rather than a literal intersex condition, but the narrative centering the violation of her autonomy persists with how she has her body altered and is denied the truth, having never had any means to cope with the inherent trauma of it all because the priority of genji&co was always to cover up anything that could implicate kinzo. she gets everything on her birth records falsified and she is intentionally kept in the dark about her own life. her entire personhood is erased. again drawing parallels to intersex experiences, doctors and parents will lie about it your entire life if they can get away with it. it's not uncommon to only find out you were operated on and/or forced on hrt as an adult!

even umineko's overarching theme about the nuances of truth vs magic can be read as an intersex narrative... it's a common experience to find out you were being denied your truth and made to live a lie "for your own sake". that truth may be unrecoverable and kept from you forever and all you can do is grieve it. your body is made into a catbox. I don't want to get too personal but some parts of confessions were chilling to read because of how similar they were to my experiences as an intersex person and I had never seen these very specific things portrayed anywhere. of course I can't claim to know the authorial intent, but it hit hard even as an allegory.

intersex and trans struggles aren't 1:1 the same but they have a lot of overlap, especially in regards to bodily autonomy, medical abuse and the gender assignment of bodies upholding a strict binary. trans people are denied transition while intersex people are forced through it, so a character like sayo who portrays that intersection of being both with such care is very precious. her struggles are strongly rooted in transmisogyny, intersexism, class and family, all which had her systemically disempowered, dehumanized and stripped of autonomy and agency.

her actions are a desperate gambit to gain some control over her own life, to be in charge of the narrative even if it's through selfdestruction. the horrors in umineko converge into the theme of systemic powerlessness and denial of autonomy. to be made into a piece. all of it combined makes up the multilayered meaning of furniture.

[pineconepie]

I literally love your page and stories so much!!! I was always hoping to find more platonic yandere stories or ones that were just more familial and then I found your page and it’s cured that longing itch for it! Ahem, anyway. I was just wondering how Cecil, Dante, Vincent, Ellis, and Octavian would react to reader with tooth/ oral pain. My wisdom tooth has been coming in and causing immense pain so I was curious on how they would try and help! (If you can’t/ don’t wanna do all of them that’s fine!) love u <3

Love you too!! <333 and thank you so much!!

I can relate to the oral pain, I need to get my wisdom teeth but have been putting it off :')

.

Octavian would be very upset on your behalf, though at first might chalk it up to teething pains if this was shortly after he bit you </3 once he realizes its wisdom teeth, he acts like you're dying and is quick to get you to the nearest dentist.

Dentist: I've never seen canines like these before—

Octavian, panicking: Its a family gene we are not vampires I promise please don't think so because we very much aren't but even if we were its not like either of us want to hurt you we just want the wisdom teeth gone I promise we would mean no harm if we were hypothetically vampires which we aren't btw :'D

Dentist: ...um, ok? *walking away* what a weirdo....

.

Vincent is immediately like, "my poor baby!! why didn't you say anything sooner??" He will get you the best care guaranteed, and will 100% record an embarrassing video of you being all loopy from the drugs they give you. It will be one of his most cherished memories that he will never let you live down.

.

Ellis doesn't like medical settings, and while dentists are no exception, he is immediately taking money out of his bank account for you to get that fixed ASAP. While waiting to get them removed, he has bought many things to relieve your pain, from ice/heat packs, lots of OTC meds, and basically forcing you to do a saltwater rinse at least once. He amps his mother-henning up a lot.

.

Dante reacts very similarly to Ellis, though he's less visibly freaking out, just because he's worried if he shows you that he's worried, then that'll just make everything worse. So he books the nearest dentist appointment (he will not budge if you don't want it), and sets a timer for pain relief meds and such. Every time you visibly show pain, he'll quietly hold you close, especially if you have trouble falling asleep because of the pain.

.

Cecil acts very dramatically, as expected. Your pain is his pain, and he will act as if his heart physically took a beating each time you show signs of pain. He also doesn't like doctors, but with dentists he's a lot more fine with, so he'd use his connections to get the best dentist in the area, as quickly as possible! In the meantime, he'll be fussing over you 24/7 (which he basically already does but even more obnoxiously).

[miffyscreams]

**not cutesy sad girl blogging, feel free to scroll on if ur not interested !!

i know there are a lot of people on here who are in their young/mid teens and might be seeking help for the first time (or doing so soon) so i just wanted to put this out there- misdiagnosis is possible and extremely, extremely common. this is specifically tailored to bpd because i know most of us here have it

i completely understand wanting a diagnosis to understand why you do the things you do and feel the way that you do and that is 100% completely fine. but please, please be careful that you don’t become so desperate for answers that you end up accepting an inaccurate or unethical label. if you’re under 18 and early in therapy (less than a year) or not in inpatient care and receive a formal bpd diagnosis, please be careful. it’s often not a misdiagnosis and is likely to be correct but it goes against ethical standards and is a massive red flag of your provider. minors can have bpd (and do!! it starts developing super young) but the diagnostic process is very different to when you’re an adult and should only be made in an emergency or after long term observation. this doesn’t mean you don’t have bpd, it just means that your psych has not gone through the proper process and that can have implications for the rest of your care. being medically recognised is a completely different story and not a bad thing. but when your personality is technically still developing, your provider needs to be 100% sure without a doubt that it is disordered and not caused by anything else before putting a formal diagnosis on your file. not doing that is unethical even if the diagnosis is correct. the amount of teenage girls who have been misdiagnosed with bpd and ended up actually having autism, adhd or cptsd that goes untreated until their 30s is astounding. you probably do have bpd but you should not get a bpd diagnosis put on your record at fifteen years old after seeing your psychologist for three sessions.

in that same vein, if you receive a diagnosis (of any disorder, at any age) and it doesn’t feel right, PLEASE CHALLENGE IT. please seek a second opinion if you have concerns. being treated for the wrong diagnosis can make your condition worse. being viewed with the stigma of a disorder that you don’t have can make your condition worse. up until this year i spent seven years of my life receiving misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis. trust me when i say you’re better off getting no diagnosis at all than getting the wrong one. this is especially true if you think you have bpd but end up getting a bipolar diagnosis- most medications have an inverse effect on us and being prescribed a cocktail of atypicals because they think you’re just not responding to the meds will fuck you up.

there’s a lot of fearmongering online, especially on tiktok, about getting a formal bpd diagnosis so i also just wanted to clear up that no, you will not be rejected entry from countries, you will not be rejected for loans or home ownership and you will not be rejected from career opportunities. the only people who have access to your medical records without a subpoena are your doctors. you are not legally obligated to tell anybody and nobody outside of your care team is allowed to access or request your info outside of a court setting. being diagnosed does not ruin your life as long as you have good medical professionals around you.

if you want to seek help, PLEASE DO. but please advocate for yourself whenever necessary. you deserve help and you deserve a team who listens to your concerns and diagnoses you responsibly. most professionals will leave a diagnosis off your record if you request it (usually unless it’s schizophrenia or bipolar, literally only because it’s important for everybody providing you any form of treatment in any context to know). good psychs will allow you to question a diagnosis and a lot will let you reject it or ask for extra consideration.

[my-midlife-crisis]

You said:

and this is my reply:

You said in a cocky meme that no one voted for

Anthony Fauci

Hunter Biden

George Soros

Bill Gates

Kamala Harris

Anthony Fauci is an American physician-scientist and immunologist who served as the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) from 1984 to 2022, and the chief medical advisor to the president from 2021 to 2022. During the COVID-19 pandemic, Fauci served under President Donald Trump as one of the lead members of the White House Coronavirus Task Force. So in truth, you should thank Trump for allowing Fauci to be head of the task force. You may have not voted for Fauci but you also didn’t vote for that doctor in the ER that saved so many lives across town.

Hunter Biden is not and has never been a part of the government. Robert Hunter Biden was targeted by the Republicans and MAGA. Of course no one voted for him but it was the Republicans and MAGA that made his name a household name... even though you keep calling him by his middle name. It just shows how very little you know about the case… you don’t even know his real name.

Soros is a supporter of progressive and liberal political causes. The man dispenses donations through the Open Society Foundations. Between 1979 and 2011, he donated more than $11 billion to various philanthropic causes; by 2017, his donations "on civil initiatives to reduce poverty and increase transparency, and on scholarships and universities around the world" totaled $12 billion. However, did you know that Trump donated $175,860 to Democrats from 1989 to 2010. Why aren’t you complaining about Trump. You and your MAGA double standards. Why aren’t you complaining about Harlen Crowe to all the gifts gave to Clarence Thomas? You didn’t vote for Crow or Thomas. Nobody did. But you are quiet when it comes to that subject aren’t you.

Bill Gates is an American businessman and philanthropist best known for co-founding the software company Microsoft with a partner named Paul Allen. The man was chairman, chief executive officer (CEO), president, and chief software architect of the company. Gates was a pioneer of the microcomputer revolution of the 1970s and 1980s and has donated to various charitable organizations and scientific research programs. Through a foundation, he led a vaccination campaign that contributed to the eradication of a poliovirus in Africa. In 2010, Gates and Warren Buffett founded the Giving Pledge, whereby they and other billionaires pledge to give at least half of their wealth towards philanthropy. Gates, like Robert Biden, never worked or was a part of the American government. All he did was lead that vaccination campaign in Africa and get blamed by Republicans ,who claimed he hid things in the vaccinations. Of course you didn’t vote for him… he’s never worked for the government and hasn’t snuck his way into our social security records. Welcome to the real world.

And now for the final person:

Kamala Harris.

Of course you didn’t vote for her. I didn’t vote for Trump, Pence, or Vance and yet here we are. Now, I did vote for Harris. I ignored all the splatter campaign republicans did against her. It was literally the beginning of the DEI campaign, where people like you got upset and ignored everything she has done in the past and acted like she did nothing for this country. You got so upset that you ignored that not only has she been Vice President of this country for 4 years (which is something that you didn’t do), She served from 2017 to 2021 as a United States senator representing California, she served as the attorney general of California from 2011 to 2017 (which you or Trump never did). She has done more for this country in four years than you ever did in your whole life.

And yet, like a lemming, when you heard someone utter the phrase “I didn’t vote for her” you threw yourself off the cliff and repeated it like it meant something. It’s hilarious how you think you have some point while you didn’t vote for Elon Musk at all. Elon Musk has never been on a ballot. He’s not even an American. Elon Musk is everybody you complained about. A millionaire who donated to political parties, who hacked into government computers, is acting like some type of governor who has never been a governor, and thinks he can ignore that fact that NOBODY VOTED FOR HIM.

Thanks for playing.

[valentine-cafe]

HI I HAVE ANOTHER SERIES OF ASKS THIS TIME ABOUT HERO READER AND HERO'S OVERWORKED SECRETARY READER WITH HERRERA HUSBANDS 209 and then some 🦶🏼

1/3 (fem/gn neutral afab reader) it's a bit of a mess but bear with me please 🐻

play this while reading the order. its more dramatic that way ��� look at me providing ambience~ no but i can't get this connection out of my head, the song is so good for villain x hero trope

James Arthur - Kryptonite: https://youtu.be/9E0NWkC-ouU?si=uBBOGowT5ImmulMv

So my first order is:

Imagine us being a hero, the famed protector of the city. The Herrera's arch nemesis (the sexual tension is palpable 🤨). There have been some vulnerable moments, where we could've arrested them, killed them or incapacitated them, instead, we chose to help them. Numerous times. Asking nothing in return. In different settings, different situations. Whaťs going on? Are those feelings for those literal monsters? Of what kind? 🤨

It is a strange bond you have with the husbands. They feel it too, sending them into a spiral full of conflicting thoughts. (And majorly obsessive and possessive feels huhu 😼)

Regardless.

Now imagine there being a serious, outside threat to the city. And I mean serious. There are news reporters everywhere, recording and reporting on the brave hero, who is facing this threat alone. Their agency, the face of the city, leaving them to die.

Could I have a scenario/imagine of the Herrera husbands seeing a live news report on their TV, of the hero giving it their all against this threat, slowly losing but not giving up, ultimately willing to sacrifice their life in order to protect the city, who oh so coldly let's them?

I just love the idea of this conflicted relationship between actual villains (who may or may not be obsessed with the hero 😼😼😼😼😼) and a hero.

Thank yew and I apologize if its a mess :3

- 🐈

🍒 𓂃 𝑶𝑹𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑼𝑷 : croissants & red velvet cake !! . . . mad scientist duo ⊹ gn afab reader .

. ᘛ 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔​​​​​​​﹕ verse 209 ꮽ  herrera husbands

 𐔌𖹭 ˖ ࣪  who's that ?⠀﹕a mad doctor/scientist duo, monstrous and charming

ּ  ֗ recepit ℘ ... in the moment of your almost final breath, the most infamous villains you know save you⊹ cw ٬٬ dark themes . obsession . medical descriptions . heavy gore . yanderes . reader near death experience . 

They couldn't quite get it. You were the only one who knew of their plans. Why were you so pliant? Why hadn't you told the world all about them? The city still adored them. The city hated you.

Initially it was amusing. A singular hero fighting a war that everyone tells them doesn't exist. This is paradise, why would anyone want to fight paradise?

You saw the truth. The darkness that crept these streets full of laughter and party. You knew better. The rest didn't.

But oh, were you fun. Your fruitless attempts to stop them time and time again. Were you sent by the resistance? If so, you might be the only tolerable member. You were cute in your every failed attempt to their morbid minds.

So why, in their right, insane minds — were they so affected by your dying breaths broadcasted across the city?

Simple. Obsession.

While yes it angered them, someone like Jingyi is quick to lean back into the counter and smile slyly to his husband. "You know," he croons, carnage on the screen becomes an idea. "This could be the perfect opportunity, my dearest."

Rishen's confusion melts to understanding. If only you could see the grin. If only you could have known what you were getting yourself into when you tried to fight a fight so fruitless.

Maybe you truly would have died on that battlefield.

Not waking up on an examination table. Limbs and wounds patched up. Your arm that had been severed — it's there. Alive. Well. Just like you. Alas, strapped by the wrists.

"It's not perfect." Calls a smooth, deep voice from the side. You snap panicked eyes over and witness the doctor himself before one of his screens. Handsome face illuminated. "But it does the job, hmm? Suppose we could replicate most of your limbs. That abdomen of yours is pesky, however."

Your gaze rushes to your middle. Nausea clouds your senses at the gore of guts and missing lower-half. How are you alive?

"O-Oh god - oh my god - fuck!"

"Sshhh, calma."

A warm, gloved hand strokes on your arm. You catch sight of the scientist next. His amused eyes scan over your broken body. He shouldn't be smiling at the carnage of your flesh. But what should you expect?

"We're handling it. Just lay your pretty head back, hmm?" Your hair is stroked back. Your throat bobs in a sob, muffled by the sweet caress of his lips.

"It's unprofessional, I know." Rishen croons. "But consider it a little compensation for your life. Aren't you excited? We'll make you beautiful."

Beautiful.

Or theirs?

꒰ ۪ ˖ ࣪ 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑢 ... info ꮽ mlist ꮽ verse ꮽ wiki .

[barcalover86]

Hey I recently just got my wisdom tooth taken out, and I was wondering if you can write a story that Reader got her wisdom tooth taken out and she had the most hilarious reaction, and that Gavi is trying to comfort her but she’s like crying every second or being angry after. Pedri was there and was recording the whole thing?

Thank you!!!

Remember me? - Pablo Gavi

Hi! I hope you are feeling better! Enjoy, this one is for you! (I searched on tt some information and videos)

"I'm scared.." you whined for the hundred time in the last few minutes. You had to remove your wisdom tooth that started to make you uncomfortable for days.

"Y/n, you are not going to feel anything."

"I'm not scared of the pain while doing it, I'm scared of the after pain!"

Gavi laughed at your silliness face before giving you a kiss on your forehead and going to the waiting room.

Right before you had to open your mouth, you felt like you needed to go to the bathroom.

"Doc, I need to pee."

The man chuckled a bit, telling you that it's alright and you can go. When you walked next to your boyfriend, he looked confused.

"Done already?"

"No."

"Decided to leave?" he laughed, but you were in no mood of his jokes now. You were clearly scared of what's going to happen, and your boy couldn't be serious once.

"I needed to pee, Pablo."

"Ohhh, want to help you? You might relax after-"

"Stop, Gavi!"

He laughed hard before giving you a surrender face.

After you were ready and came back, you saw Pedri sitting next to your boyfriend. You knew he would come because he literally begged you for hours.. now it felt like it was the worst decision you've ever done.

"Good luck, y/n!"

You gave him a short smile, while holding for the last time Gavi's hand.

You apologised to the medical team that had to take care of you, feeling bad that they had to wait for you.

"Don't worry, señorita. We are here to support you and we promise you that everything will be alright. How can we call you?"

"Y/n."

"Alright, y/n. First of all, we have to give you a sedation for you not to feel any pain. We can make you fall asleep, or we can just make your body relax, and you can see everything. It's all up to you."

"I don't know-"

"It doesn't hurt in any case"

The doctor smiled at you before you said you prefer to fall asleep. Maybe like that, you won't be that scared when you'll see all the instruments that were placed on the table in front of you.

"Tell me how is more comfortable, ok?" he said while adjusting your sit.

After you were sedated, you closed your eyes to fall asleep faster, which only took about 2 minutes to be completely in your dreams.

It didn't take long, onlu about 40 minutes, but the two boys that were waiting outside for you, started to get nervous.

"She'll remember me, right?"

"Yes, Gavi! She can't forget you."

Pedri was laughing at how impatient his friend was. Love was driving him mad.

After everything was done and you were finally awake, one of the assistants came to the waiting room to say that you are free to go home for now.

"Can we go see her?"

"Yes. Come right after me"

The two boys entered the room and saw you standing on your butt with your back on the wall. You smiled when you saw your boyfriend and wanted to stand up to go hug him.

"Hi!!!"

"No, no, cariño. Stay right there for a moment." laughed Gavi.

"How was it, y/n?" asked Pedri with a curious face. He was dying to know what you are going to say.

"Why are you filming me?"

Pedri chuckled, telling Gavi that you'll love to see your reaction after you are done with anaesthesia.

"Do you remember this boy, y/n?"

"You think I'm stupid? I'm not like all those girls that... that.. oh, you got it."

"Yeah, yeah, then what's his name?"

"Pablitoo"

Pedri started to laugh hard while recording you.

"How do you feel, amor?"

"I can barely speak and my mouth is dry. Can I have some water, please?"

Gavi went to ask someone for some water, while Pedri was helping you stand up for you to get to your car.

When Pablo came back with a yellow drunk, you borrowed your eyebrows.

"Que es esto?"

"Forgot english, hermanita?" asked Pedri in a teasly voice.

While you showed him your half tongue, not being able to move your mouth much, Gavi was telling you that it's pineapple juice.

"It's going to help you with your dryness"

"Oh, then I'm going to take it." you said while swallowing it in a second.

While you were in the car, you started to complain about hunger.

"I didn't eat for days!"

"You didn't eat since yesterday, and it's not even lunchtime, y/n!"

"You always like to talk that much, Pedri?"

"Oh, who is the one that's saying this!? You've been complaining about food since we left! I'm the driver so I can get you out of my car."

At that, you got sad even if he only joked. Gavi, being the passager, looked back at you to see that you were on the edge of crying.

"Don't cry!!!" he said in a baby voice.

While your boyfriend was trying to make you calm, Pedri arrived at your house.

"Let's go get you some sleep, ok?"

"I already slept! I want to eat something, amorr."

"We eat something, then we can go to have a nap. Deal?"

"Deal."

Pablo prepared you some soft foods for you to eat, but them not being consistent enough, made you still hungry.

"Can you hold me, please???"

Gavi smiled and hugged you.

"You guys are so sweet." Pedri said while recording you again.

"So sweet, yeah. Until he wanted to fuck me right before the operation."

Pedri started to laugh hard, while Gavi was blushing.

"You can't say that, amorrr."

You kissed his cheek, while looking at how hard Pedri was laughing.

"I've got that on record! Ah, I can't wait to see your reaction after you are normal, y/n."

"What do you mean!? You say I'm crazy now?"

"Oh..no, no!"

While you started to catch Pedri, Gavi was the one that was filming it now.

"Go get him, cariño!!"