#you know I actually realized this because I also realized the second anniversary of posting the first chapter of (and hold it down) is

[autumnalfallingleaves]

Shout-out to Hilda for officially becoming my third-longest-lasting hyperfixation lmao

[yuurei20]

how muscle is the boy and who the most buff because i think silver gym clothes is lying

Hello hello! Thank you so much for this question! I have been hoping to talk about this for so long ⚔️

There is something special about the school uniform and gym clothes cards 👀

Summary 1) Sprites do not always visually represent what is actually happening in the game 2) Yana does not have full control over what can appear as sprites 3) Yana illustrated the gym clothes and school uniform cards from start to finish by herself!

Details/Sources 1) There is sometimes a disconnect between what the sprites are doing and what is actually happening in the stories, as the limits of the medium mean that they can only portray so much.

We will be told via dialogue that what is actually happening is different from what we're seeing on screen, which is where the "novel" part of "visual novel" has to do some heavy lifting.

(above: We are told that Idia is riding Ortho, Jack has tanned and Kalim is wearing glasses, without anything represented visually.)

This is also true of Silver being unusually well-muscled, with characters referencing such repeatedly! (especially in Book 7, for spoiler-reasons that cannot be shared on this blog)

(Ortho: "Silver is also incredibly built!")

In a vignette Silver explains he was able to beat a man in an arm-wrestling contest who had successfully beaten several "burly" members of Savanaclaw:

"All of Ruggie's burly friends had tried, but each lost within seconds. At first the owner went easy on me. Worried he would hurt me, he said. But once he realized I was no pushover, he stopped holding back...It was no easy feat, but all their encouragement helped me eke out a victory."

As for how Silver can possibly be so well-muscled, he explains it is from life with Lilia:

"I've never really struggled with anything involving physical fitness...my daily life back home was training enough. Drawing river water, chopping firewood...Chasing around the animals who lived nearby must have helped strengthen my legs as well...once I stalled while climbing a sheer cliff, and (Lilia) climbed right up beside me to show me how it should be done."

2) In a tweet posted on 2020/5/12 Yana talks about submitting her idea for Crowley to be wearing a vacation outfit in Book 4, despite expecting it to be rejected.

So it seems that she does not have complete control over how the sprites look: she designs the characters but is maybe not doing the game development work of physically implementing them, and there are others who can approve of or reject her ideas based on in-game limitations.

Was a canon-accurate Silver sprite maybe one of those rejections?

Effort was even made to give Silver muscle in the 2nd anniversary PV, so it does seem to be an important point.

3) We do not know too many details about the team that is helping Yana with card illustrations but we know they have been there from the beginning, with the recently released English-version of the first visual book (called "The official art book" in English) providing translations of Yana's notes to the colorists for the ceremonial robes and labwear art.

(Above: hand-written notes seen on Kalim's labwear and ceremonial robes base art)

She also references a graphic artist in her 2020 interview for the Magical Archives:

"As for the illustrations, this was my first time having my original drawings cleaned up by a graphic artist. I am a very rough draftsman by nature, and I make overall corrections before a piece is complete. No matter how careful I am in my original drawings, sometimes details get confused, so whenever I receive a draft back from the graphic artist, I become a useless original artist who is constantly going back to say, ‘I am so sorry, but can you please make these corrections?’" - Toboso Yana (Magical Archives game guide)

But the gym clothes and school uniforms (the original batch of R cards) were different: Yana says she did them all by herself from start to finish, as they were going to be most people's first introductions to the characters.

Disney Twisted-Wonderland has been released today.  ・Character design ・Main scenario creation ・Card illustration (all rarities / including finishing for the R cards) ・Supervision of personal scenarios (writing several as well) I handled everything above. I hope you enjoy it! - Toboso Yana (Twitter, 2020/5/8)

I felt that the initial R school uniforms and sportswear cards are special, as they are likely to be the first introductions to these characters, so I was in charge of them all. I am grateful to have been trusted with them. - Toboso Yana (Twitter, 2020/4/13)

So there we are! 🥳

If anything we can maybe consider the base card art for the gym clothes and school uniforms as more "canon" than the sprite designs of those same characters, even though the sprites are what we're used to seeing, as card art is not being forced to change the characters' appearances in order to fit the limitations of Live 2D sprites ⚔️ Maybe!

(The sprites have this same issue with height! At 156cm Epel maybe only comes up to Malleus' elbows? But in the game Epel is made taller while Malleus is made shorter, in order to fit his horns in the screen.)

[nerdygaymormon]

A friend of mine has a blog where he writes about that week's activities. He also regularly reviews new food products, and sometimes it's just his thoughts. This week's post really struck me and I want to highlight a few of the things he wrote:

————————————————————

For the first time in my life, I began seriously considering what my life would look like if I left the Church. I realized that if I left, I wouldn't want a wife. I read accounts of straight men who left, and they would say, "I'm so glad I had my wife to help me get through that." But for me, having a wife would be a liability rather than an asset. And that made me realize that even staying in the Church, I don't want a wife.

—————————

Faith is supposed to sustain you during hard times, so what do you do when your faith is your hard time?

—————————

"You have to take adult responsibility for yourself, and you have to say, 'I am giving myself permission to belong here and to love these people, even though the written documents and the authority figures don't approve of me.'"

—————————

In my current stage of faith, I am not concerned with whether or not the Church is "true." Like, what does that even mean, and how could I actually know that? I'm more interested in whether the Church is good, beautiful, and useful. And I believe it is, or at least can be—for straight people.

—————————

Unfortunately, current Latter-day Saint theology does not yet include a place or an explanation for queer people, and our present leaders seem more interested in using their current understanding as a weapon against us than they are in figuring out where we fit.

—————————

When so much has changed already, even in a short amount of time, why should I believe that where the teachings are right now is where they're supposed to be?

—————————

And I also inherited a folk belief somewhere that Satan didn't have power to tempt people in the temple. So if I was at the temple doing baptisms for the dead and was attracted to a guy, then I was inherently evil, because Satan couldn't tempt me there.

—————————

I truly believe that Dallin H. Oaks cares more about his personal interpretation of the Family Proclamation than he cares about people. I see it in the way he talks about the Proclamation, the way he talks about queer people, the way he talks about law, the way he has historically talked about the two great commandments, and the way he dismisses anyone who disagrees as apostate, unconverted, or unbelieving. As a lawyer, he seems to view everyone as an opponent he needs to win an argument against.

—————————

If they expect us gays to be single our whole lives, they'll have to give us a better incentive than being second-class citizens in both the Church and the celestial kingdom, and they'll have to give us a better explanation than "This is the way it is because we say so."

[tiltingheartand]

several sentence sunday

tagged by @perfectlysunny02 (… who i think posted at 12:01 this morning, actually). yes this is from Yet Another WIP. also jack and daniel are characters from another show, but my goal is to make it that you don’t need to be familiar with it for the story to make sense. (it’s not like buck knows them, after all.)

“Blah, blah, blah,” Jack says, but it does nothing to hide the fondness in his eyes. “Why did I marry you, again?”

“The life insurance payouts,” Daniel says, no hesitation, and suddenly Buck is reminded of Carson the Electrical Guy telling him and Eddie they should take their act on the road. 

“Yeah, I’d buy that if you ever stayed dead, Danny-boy.” 

And the two of them are fine, but next to him Tommy appears to be having some kind of problem, because he’s blinked about four times in the last twelve seconds. “... married?” he manages to say, eventually, eyes wide. “You two are – married?”

They’d referred to each other as husbands multiple times at the crash; Buck suddenly realizes that, having not been there at the time, Tommy wouldn’t have any reason to know that. 

Across from them, Jack inhales slowly and stands up just a little straighter. “Is that a problem?” he says, conversational despite the steel that’s suddenly in his eyes.

Another few seconds pass, and then Tommy shakes his head very slightly, once. “No, sir, not at all,” he says, and Buck can see as he lets himself relax, bit by bit. “Just wondering how late my congratulations are going to be.”

“Oh, we’re hardly going to hold you responsible for that,” Daniel says; next to him Jack’s posture returns to what it was three minutes ago, and Buck wonders if he’d just gotten a glimpse of General O’Neill. “But the beginning of July will be our ninth anniversary.”

“Our ninth wedding anniversary,” Jack says, pointedly. “Our anniversary in general is in May, and the one coming up is nineteen years.”

Daniel snorts. “You’re just mad I proposed first,” he says, and Jack makes a silent so what face, not actually disputing it in any way.

no-pressure tagging: @wilddragonflying @chobani-flip @actuallyitsellie @between-two-fandoms @wakeupnew

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Cut Scene: Texas Campfire Scene

Partly in honour of today being the anniversary of Alex's speech, here's a ramble about another deleted scene: the Campfire scene

This promo still of the scene is the cover picture of the movie on prime

In the final cut of the movie, namely the released version that we got, we get the campfire scene as part of a montage in the speech, but unlike running through the V&A as the sun rises or the forest kiss, I don't think this scene was originally shot as a montage, but as a full scene that got cut for some reason

Henry's Instagram account posted a photo of him from that scene, and he credited Nora as the photographer, so I'm guessing Nora was in this scene. This also suggests that this is an ensemble scene, which might be part of the reason it was cut, but also means it would have been a longer scene, I'm guessing 2.5-4 minutes. (which, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) also Henry posted this the same time Alex posted a photos from the karaoke bar, so I think that counts as confirmation that the campfire is part of the Texas holiday

We don't actually have any context about this scene other than it's most likely part of the Texas holiday: Is this the equivalent scene of the gang in the books chilling when June plays the guitar and Henry and Alex make out (P256-257 of the original print, where "Alex is so in love that he can die" came from, and Holy fuck does Taylor bring that single line to life)? Are they having a barbecue? Or is this just a campfire? We don't actually know at all

Date wise I'm curious: the final release of the movie almost made it seem like it was literally two days: day 1: arrival -> volleyball -> hammock reading -> night at the bar ; day 2: conversation with dad -> Lake -> Henry runs away. Given the campfire is also a night scene, I think this means there's an extra day in the holiday sequence

I can't find the GIF for the montage used in this scene in the speech, but God I love that moment. It's almost like the reverse of the Paris pillow talk: this time Henry's talking about something he's passionate about, and Alex listens

Actually on that note, I wonder if that's the reason it was cut: maybe they tried out two different scenarios of Alex's "God I love him" epiphany, one here and one during the karaoke, and decided that the karaoke worked better for whatever reason. Just a guess, but either way I do really, really want to see this scene

I wonder what Henry/Nick is saying in the scene. He looks so happy talking about whatever it is. If I'm right about this being a full scene, then it's most likely scripted lines, but I could be wrong, which in that case, there's also the possibility of that being Nick ad-libbing in character or ... just Nick, which... is a whole other kind of ... wow. Either way, I really want to hear what he's saying

I swear sometimes I wanna grab Henry by the shoulders and shake him because HOW DID YOU NOT REALIZE HE LOVES YOU TOO??? Oh my God, Taylor's fucking performance, the man is drinking in every sight and sound of Henry like a man lost in a desert. He looks like he's two seconds away from proposing on the spot. I look at how Alex looks at Henry and I want to cry from the sheer amount of love there is in his eyes. What the fuck.

Although I'm confident that we're getting more content including deleted scenes in the future, even just from a studio profit perspective, I'm not confident in them releasing everything we want, and so here I am once again screaming for another deleted scene and a DVD with everything

[7surreality7]

Surviving the VMin drought (again)

Why am I suddenly missing VMin so much?

Honestly the first half of 2024 sans Vmin (and tannies) wasn't as horrible as I had expected. The boys had worked hard and left us many things to cherish and admire and not feel their absence so intensely. I think I was gloomy the first two or so weeks after their enlistment but things started to get better afterwards. Excitement started building up when MUSE was announced and while patiently waiting for it, we got the surprise of our lives!

On Jin's discharge day, not only did we see all the members together which was true sight for sore eyes but guess what...we witnessed the daddy of all hugs, THE VMin hug which went viral immediately. No one, and I mean no one can ever come close in expressing love and longing, the way these two express their emotions towards each other. It spreads so much joy just looking at the two wrapped up in each other while the world around them became a mere blur for those several seconds. I mean I don't know about others but that hug added a few years to my life, haha.

Then, AYS ran up until September, and keeping aside the insane amount of hate generated online towards VMin because of whatever idiotic delusions of the Xkook ships/ haters/ antis. it was a bonus for Vminnies. To our great joy Tae was there too in Jeju and those three episodes kept us afloat in the middle of the year. Honestly watching Vmin in the first Jeju episode made me actually cackle at how easily and often they just drift away and get locked in their own bubble even with JK around who they both adore, treat like a baby and prioritize often. They kind of even snubbed him lightly inside the play area (whatever it was called) and made it all about each other the whole time. Watching them like this in front of JK (who seemed all too used to this kind of behavior from VMin) convinced me that these two are capable of making even God feel like the third wheel, was he to come in front of them, Lol!

I do know that something changed in episode 2 and 3 and Tae seemed a little aloof. To me it seemed like at least a 180 shift in behavior, from both Tae and JM towards each other. I have a theory off course it's just something that I think might have happened .(Nothing serious but sort of JM and Tae both realizing OR being reminded what the main concept of the show was and who/ what should be the focus and hence altering their behavior on the show to being less clingy and more aware) But, all in all AYS was great for Viminnies.

I don't know...something about October ending without a VMin sighting (or hearing/ reading anything from them as a duo) has got me. I was just hung up on last year's October so much that this year's October felt like a VMin anniversary. Of some kind. And when the anniversary passed with pin drop silence from the main cast I experienced withdrawal symptoms, Lmao!

I also seem to have come to a 100% realization there won't be any VMin sightings shortly either. Until their reunion in June, anyway. So I have no hope of any messages from Jimin on Tae's birthday.

Off course all this also sounds pretty selfish you know? And entitled, too? Like why would VMin feel obligated to write to each other on Soc for the fans (shippers?) They can very well talk to each other, write messages and see each other's face everyday and might be even doing it all, we just have no way to know. So, off course they'll wish each other privately this year but there won't be any SM posts. Unless...unless..we are surprised yet again just like it happened in June (seriously I am actually going to cry for real if that happens) but yeah gotta keep expectations super duper low. I have a nagging feeling the remaining months are going to be the drought we dreaded and need to find ways and means to survive this. 7 months of labor pain.

God bless V for his Christmas collab gift to us that's coming out soon. This is a kind of song which seems to be tailor made for his voice. I am so looking forward!

[putschki1969]

2024/02/19 Blog post by Wakana ふむふむの日2024を振り返ろう♪〜映画と衣装と肩の骨〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ ❗Do NOT SHARE on other sites❗ ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Looking Back At February 6 2024 ♪〜Movie, Dresses And Shoulder Bones〜

The other day, I went to see the movie "Golden Kamuy" with a friend 😊I received a special git at the cinema! A panel drawn by the original creator＼＼\\٩( 'ω' )و //／／ I was so happy because I didn't expect to get something like this! 😍 The girl I went with is a big fan of the original work, actually, she is such a hardcore fan that she and her husband have even gone on a proper pilgrimage to Abashiri which is a place from the manga. I also enjoyed the manga so I decided to go and watch the film with her! The visuals were so powerful and the music was so wonderful that (despite the fairly fantasy-like setting) I felt a strange sense of reality that made me cry many times... It was the first time I watched a movie at the cinema since ``The Boy and the Heron'', I had a lot of fun! 😆 (By the way, the girl who went with me was the same friend who went with me when I watched “The Boy and the Heron” for the second time♪) Being at the movie theater for the first time in a long while got me really excited, initially, I only wanted to get some oolong tea at the snack bar but then, I ended up with all of this😂 How did this happen? When I looked at the menu, I got really excited 🤣I got a large popcorn and a hot dog *laughs*

Hello, this is Wakana (0￣▽￣0)／

I couldn't finish the giant popcorn and had to take it home *laughs* I quietly stuffed my mouth with the hot dog before the film had even begun🤤 Even though I had told myself that it would be better to wait until the film was over to avoid getting tired...🥺 Such a fickle nature🥺(Thankfully the movie was so interesting that I didn't feel sleepy at any point)

Now, I would like to talk a little about my “Wakana 5th Anniversary “Prologue” ~Premium Online Live~” which was held on February 6th! Here I am together with Saku-chan who joined me on the piano 😊We also made sure to take a picture where we look a bit cool📸 With this premium online live I celebrated a milestone, the 5th anniversary of my solo debut. I wanted to start my celebrations together with everyone from my fan club! For some reason, those five years actually feel like a longer time... or rather, it feels like a lot more years have passed already. I included the entire “journey” from my solo debut up until now in the setlist!

M-01 Yureru Haru M-02 Tsubasa MC M-03 Ai no Hana M-04 Aki no Sakura (Acoustic ver.) MC M-05 Orange MC M-06 Haru wo Matsu (Kalafina) M-07 Shirushi MC M-08 Kinmokusei M-09 Flag MC M-10 magic moment MC M-11 Sono Saki e

There are songs from my 1st album "Wakana", my 2nd album "magic moment", my EP "Aki no Sakura" and my 3rd album "Sono Saki e"! I ended up cramming in as much as possible since I wanted to create a setlist that would allow me to look back on the past 5 years.😊 During my MCs I tried to express my feelings from each period, hopefully I was able to share some fresh thoughts with you.

I once again realized that the "chat" may be the best part of an online live performances! At live performances with an actual on-site audience it's not really possible to have a real conversation, but online, everyone can talk about all sorts of things. Of course, even if there are no words exchanged between us, I know that people are watching and supporting me but I always feel very relieved when people say a lot of things in the chat (*´- `) It's honestly so reassuring to know that everyone is watching and listening (^-^)

Despite all of that, my surprise lyric mishaps keep happening, whether it's been 5 years or 15 years, I will never get rid of those...😂Why? ? 😂 I could really feel everyone's surprise and kindness from the chat messages, it was a special sense of gratitude that I probably couldn't experience at a live performances with an on-site audience. Thank you again to everyone who watched and supported me! ! My 5th Anniversary celebrations have only just begun. At my upcoming band live on May 12th, I would like to have the time to reflect even more on the past five years ! Details will be posted soon! Please be patient a little while longer~･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

Lastly, I would like to post some pictures of my dress from February 6th 😆This is the same dress I wore on the cover of my 1st album "Wakana"♪ I also wore it during the encore for my ``VOICE'' tour, at that time, it was altered a bit so it would work better for a live performance 😍 I had my hair down, which is quite unusual for me ♡ The makeup artist also added some sparkling hairpins 😍

I always wonder why my shoulder bones are so prominent...🤣 I think it's a skeletal issue because I am pretty sure not everyone's shoulder looks like that, right? 😂 I don't have any particular pain or problems in this area but I always feel like there's just a lot of bone sticking out. I envy people with smoother shoulders🥺

Anyway, I'm glad I was able to fit into a dress from 5 years ago ･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+ For some reason, that got me super excited! 😂😂 Easy peasy🤗 Yay!

So, that’s it for today! Until next time~ ☆( *'▽'*)/

＊＊＊Wakana＊＊＊

『Wakana 5th Anniversary Live』 Details Revealed

To commemorate the 5th Anniversary of Wakana’s solo debut, a special band live will be held for the first time in 3 years! Once again, Wakana will be joined by Satoshi Takebe to deliver a unique live performance together with other musicians. Please look forward to it!

Title: “Wakana 5th Anniversary Live (tentative)” Date: May 12, 2024 ◆1st Stage◆ Open 14:45 / Start 15:30 ◆2nd Stage◆ Open 18:15 / Start 19:00 Venue: I’M A SHOW (capacity: 398 seats) Starring: Wakana, Satoshi Takebe (Music Director/Piano), etc. 【Ticket price】 All seats reserved 8,500円 ※An additional 600円 drink fee will be charged at the venue

Advanced Ticket Lottery for BL Members

[Ticket Sales Service] SKIYAKI TICKET ※To apply, you will need to register your SC ID at "Botanical Land" and your SKIYAKI ID on the SKIYAKI TICKET site/app. Pre-registration is possible, so it is recommended to do this before the application period starts. Please note: The registration procedure includes a verfication via text message which apparently does not work for some overseas phone numbers. ※On the day of the event, present the screen displaying the QR code issued to the SKIYAKI TICKET app (no prints or screenshots permitted); Please note: To display the electronic ticket, a separate app is required

Quantity limit: Up to 2 tickets per person Payment method: Credit card/convenience store payment Ticketing method: Download the dedicated app to issue a QR code ticket Application period: February 21 to February 27 Announcement of Results: March 1~ Payment deadline: March 8

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Masterlist || Black Femme x Asian Character Relationships

This is a list of the ships with at least one Black female character x at least one Asian person or performer (Instances in which the characters aren't human will count as the person portraying the character's race).

As of the 4 Year Anniversary of blackfemmecharacterdependency April 30th, 2024, I am not going to be active. I decided to simply post what I had. The list is incomplete for the foreseeable future, but everyone is welcome to add on to it. Especially because I had several ships planned that I didn't get a chance to add before I had to stop maintaining the blog.

General Tags:

Black + Asian (This is for People with Black and Asian in them. They aren't necessarily ship representation, but sort of are because they are a product of such relationships and may be used for FC's if you have a character of similar makeup)

Black x Asian (This is for ships) | Black women with Asian men | Black women with Asian women | Black Woman with a Bigender Asian | Black Woman with Nonbinary Asian

Exceptions include if there is a nonbinary performer who plays the role of a female character, or vice versa, on the Black end. If there is an EXPLICITLY AFAB MALE, please do not suggest or expect them to appear.

List will include people from and with backgrounds from the countries on the map, but I don't intend to put any from Russia's portions, unless a special circumstance appears.

It was a little bit difficult for me to figure out how to curate the list (there are more of these relationships than I realized. So, for now, its mostly separated by regions of Asia, with the left portions on one list and the right portions on another. Not a perfect breakdown but everything to the left of China (west) and South is going to be the first part, and China to the east will be the second.

*

4400: Keisha Taylor x Soraya TV

Anything's Possible: Kelsa x Khal Movie

Big Brother: Taylor Hale & Joseph Abdin Reality TV/Real Life

Jonesy: Susan x Nisha Comic Book Series

Mythic Quest: Dana x Rachel TV

The Haunting of Bly Manor: Hannah Grose x Owen Sharma Mini-Series

Lucifer: Mazikeen x Eve TV/Comics

The Princess and the Frog: Tiana x Naveen Cartoons/Misc

Ragnarok, The Animated Series:Judia x Iruga Alam (Idk enough about these characters to know anything. I will put them on this end, because it sounds like this is where they go)

Sleepless: Pyppenia x Cyrenic Graphic Novel

Tut: Suhad x Tutankhamun Miniseries

*

Anime

Basquash!: Miyuki Ayukawa x Dan JD (I will be so honest with y'all. Inthe years of finding content, none of the times that I have ever found some, I have never seen an inkling of a pairing from that show and so just don't expect to see them here just because I included the names from suggestions)

Bleach: Yoruichi x Soi Fong

Borotu: Karui x Choji Akimichi (Once again, had no clue. Actually, I didn't know there was a Black women even In this series, which gives me pause to seek out content. Them fandoms where you never see the negress usually 1000% cannot be trusted. Long story short: Don't expect content.)

Hunter x Hunter: Canary x Amane | Revolutionary Girl Utena: Anthy x Utena

Books

Can't Escape Love: Regina Hobbs x Gustave Nguyen Book - Alyssa Cole

Let's Talk About Love: Alice x Takumi Book - Claire Kann

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Hazel Levesque x Frank Zhang Book Series | The Sun is Also a Star Natasha Kingsley x Daniel Bae Book/Movie

And just a fun tidbit for y'all. This assignment has my computer thinking I need suggestions. I haven't read any of these, but came across them, so here you are.

Cartoons

Amphibia: Jess x Ally | Dragon Age Absolution: Miriam x Sapphira | The Dragon Prince: Janai x Amaya | Inside Job: Gigi x Andre (Adult) | Invincible: Amber Bennett x Mark Grayson (Adult) | Miraculous Ladybug: Ayla x Marinnette | The Owl House: Skara x Willow | The Proud Family: Penny Proud x Kwok

Comic Books

Batgirl: Rebirth: Frankie Charles x Malaya | DC Bombshells: Nell Little x Alysia Yeoh | Goldie Vance: Marigold "Goldie" Vance x Diane Kimura | X-Men: Ororo Munroe x Yukio

Movies

Boogie: Eleanor x Boogie | Bottoms: Josie x Isabel | Cinderella: Cinderella x Christopher | Lightyear: Alisha x Kiko Hawthorne | Ninja Assassin: Mika Coretti x Raiko | Romeo Must Die: Trish O'Day & Han Sing

TV/Streaming Series

The Baby-SItters Club: Ashley Wyeth x Janine Kishi | Black Lightning: Anissa Pierce x Grace Choi (Comics/TV) | Chicago Med: April Sexton x Ethan Choi | Dark Matter: Nyx x Two | Fate: The Winx Saga: Aisha x Grey | Gen V: Marie Moreau x Jordan Li | Heartstopper: Elle Argent x Tao Xu Webcomic/Streaming Series | Hunters: Roxy Jones x Joe Mizushima | Into the Badlands: Veil x Sunny | Killjoys: Aneela Kin Rit x Delle Seyah Kendra | Motherland: Fort Salem: Abigail Bellweatherx Adil of Tarim | Neon: Mia x Felix | New Amsterdam: Helen Sharpe x Cassian Shin | Helen Sharpe x Akash Panthaki | Nine Perfect Strangers: Delilah x Yao Book/Miniseries |

Orange is the New Black: Poussey x Soso | Power Rangers: Aisha x Adam | Aisha x Rocky x Adam aka Nesha's First Throuple | Tanya Sloan x Adam Park Kids TV | Riverdale: Josie McCoy x Reggie Mantle | Josie McCoy x Sweet Pea | Shadowhunters: Maia Roberts x Jordan Kyle Book/TV | Star Trek TOS: Uhura x Sulu TV/Movies | Star Wars: Jannah x Rose | Ketsu x Sabine | Pamich x Jessika Cartoons/Comics/Movies | The Umbrella Academy: Jill x Ben Hargreeves | Wheel of Time: Nynaeve al'Meara x 'Lan Mandragoran Book/Streaming Series

Webcomics

Dom & Mor: Morgan x Dominique | He's Harmless, I Swear: Tammy x Tomoya | If You'll Have Me: Momo Gardner x Priscilla Giang Webcomic/Graphic Novel | LMLY: Sofia x Leon Webcomics

Video Games

Mortal Kombat: Jacqui Briggs x Takeda Takahashi

*

To Reiterate: The list is incomplete for the foreseeable future

[runnning-outof-time]

Happy 2 Years, To Be Alone 🎉🎉

Thanks to the lovely Flor @raincoffeeandfandoms and her decision to include my OC Celia Farraday in her OC asks that she has been sending out, I realized that I posted the first chapter of To Be Alone two years ago today.

This story was my first endeavor into the world of fic writing for Peaky Blinders, and it was the first story I’d written in a few years. On top of that, it was the first time I’d ever posted a piece of my writing on Tumblr — I remember being so nervous about getting it right but at the same time so very excited to be writing again. My goodness what a journey I’ve been on since I posted that first chapter.

I’d like to quickly shoutout some of the people who have been supporting me since the beginning, because if it weren’t for you showing interest in my story, I’d probably not still be posting on here. @mootiemoose (you were my first follower after I posted my story, the first username I added to a taglist and the first person to comment on it — I’ll remember that forever), @theshelbyclan (you were the first big Peaky blog to share my story — thanks for giving me the recognition) and @look-at-the-soul (you were the first mutual that I really talked to and built a friendship with) — I know there were others who have been along for the ride with me from early on and this post would get super long if I listed everyone…my heart goes out to ALL OF YOU. Thank you for joining me in this fic writing journey!!

So I figured I’d do something special for Celia on the 2nd anniversary of her story beginning … after so much scrolling on Pinterest and many different Google searches, I think I’ve finally found a faceclaim for her ………..

Everyone, meet Celia Rose Farraday!!!!

This is Rose Williams as Charlotte Heywood from the series Sandition. The time periods aren’t the same, but I felt that she could mesh well into canon. — the only thing I believe may be different is that Celia has hazel eyes.

The second I saw a picture of her smiling, I just knew that she had to be Celia’s faceclaim — her smile instantly made me feel happy and that’s exactly what Celia did while I was writing her story, and as I’ve gone back and re-read her story.

I hope you’ll also find that she fits the part!!

I’ve also been in the process of giving the story a facelift and fixing minor things that I’ve been able to find. I’m only on Chapter 7 with that because I’ve actually started reading the story (because I haven’t read it since I posted it on here). So if you see some formatting changes, this is why!

One last time, thank you for joining me on this journey!! 💕

[honeyandbiscuitandtea-cafe]

when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers or moots (positivity is cool) 💖

oOoOO this a good question I'll answer with songs that are perpetually stuck in my head ones that I could back to because their just that good to me

First up I got is

This song is so catchy for some reason I always find myself going back to it also helps me realize I'm not the only one sometimes with unrealistic expectations in men 😭

Second one I got is

This song is so good honestly like the vocals and lyrics just hit manage to scratch a part of my brain I didn't know I had I also love the alternate version they posted for the anniversary

I put these two in the same category cause their technically the same song just sung by different people/characters but both versions are absolute fire 🔥

The Third one I got is

I just recently found this one but ever since I did I've been having it on loop for who knows how long I'm just a sucker honestly for songs with symbolism and themes in them especially if they talk about more dark and taboo topics like this one

The Fourth One I got is

When I said I was a sucker for songs with stories and symbolism and themes behind them I wasn't kidding especially when they discuss more morbid and unnerving topics to be honest anything produced by biz is bound to be something I enjoy their whole "love it" track has been my absolute favorite of all time I love the way their are actual stories behind their songs like a whole narrative and characters you can dissect especially with the songs their releasing the lyrics exploring more dark and twisted relationships unhealthy on both sides (so far we have yet to see what they publish next and it may be something different that sticks out from the theme cause so far all the songs released in the "love it" track talk about a relationship where both parties involved are unhealthy and toxic and unhinged in some way shape or form) exploring a completely complicated web of love and toxicity all while being absolute bangers back to back overall I absolutely suggest biz as an artist if you enjoy songs talking about fucked up relationships and dynamics like their is so much nuance and analysis you can do on each song and the characters presented in each song that it keeps me coming back to them (this has honestly just divulged into me shamelessly trying to get other people to listen to this artist but let me tell you something they are super underrated in my opinion and more people need to talk about them)

And for the Fifth and Last One I got is

I love this song so much I was introduced to Frank Sinatra by my Father and have ever since become a huge fan of him it just gives such wonderful vibes Frank Sinatra is in my all time favorite artists

So that is all the songs I have listed I hope my ramblings will have convinced to check them out and their respective artists if you haven't already I left out a lot of other artists and songs I love mostly because these are the ones I am most obsessed with as of the moment but if you want you can always ask me more questions about any other songs or artists I might like I don't really have a set or specific music taste honestly I just listen to anything I like

[conellu]

Spicy Kokichi Headcanons

Was gonna combine this with some Nagito HCs, but I'm getting through dr2 so fucking slowly lmfao

Kokichi O(u)ma/GN!Reader

Also posted on my AO3

((Nagito's can be found here!!))

Warnings: dom/sub, creampie, biting, knife play, blood play, piss, spit

He’s a dom leaning switch, he’s not readily willing to give up his dom status but he will mess around with the idea and eventually come to terms with the idea that he is 100% a brat as well.  Gotta let him stew on that himself though, but when he comes to the realization I promise you, you will know.

Peg him, use a dildo, use a massager on his cock, prostate massagers, man loves it all as long as you’ve successfully worked hard enough at putting him in his place.  Pull his hair and he’s in heaven.

Mans is DEFINITELY into creampies, he will want you to not clean up if you had sex before going out, he wants it to leak out of you on the way there or around others.  He’s definitely going to make a joke here or there, please ignore him or he will keep going until he wish you were dead.

If it can’t be a creampie, second favorite is your mouth.  Seeing you swallow it all makes his heart swell with love.  Third is your face, expect cackles afterwards (he may or may not help you clean off your face, he will toss whatever shirt is closest to the bed at you every time though).  Fourth is just anywhere else on your body.

He also is definitely into leaving marks, he doesn’t care how, he wants to fluster not just you but everyone else who will see them.  The more in a session, the better.

It’s hard to make him actually angry and receive a REAL punishment, but he will leave you high and dry if you’ve pushed any button he has.  No matter how much you beg, cry, or whine, he’s not letting you cum.  If you’ve REALLY done something wrong, he’ll pleasure himself while you writhe either beside him or under him (depending on your size).

That being said, he’s probably the softest after these moments (which isn’t saying much, he’s pretty non-existent for aftercare), but he’ll be over dramatic, sighing and wrapping his body around you like a jetpack for a couple minutes.  He won’t admit it, but he does it because he wants to let you know he isn’t ACTUALLY angry with you.

Speaking of after care, don’t expect anything massive.  If you want to shower or bathe afterwards, get yourself there and drag him in with you.  If you want cuddles… Super good luck on that.  If it’s a special day (anniversary, birthday, any holiday that he finds to be important), then he’ll be more likely to cuddle you.  If you’ve had a hard day, then he’s also more likely to cuddle you (after you beg him)

He can and will talk the entire time, good luck shutting him up (just manage to get a prostate massager or something in his ass beforehand if you want him to be a drooling, whimpering, but not talking mess.)

He likes to film his cock going in and out of you, adding his own commentary over the videos.  Does he watch them afterward?  Does he keep them for any reason?  Who knows.

Humiliation, humiliation, humiliation.  Degradation, degradation, degradation.

Public sex is typical, if it’s not a place where sex can be had publically (cause c’mon, he does have some standards) then he will find other ways to work you up.  Thigh grabs, brushes against your chest, using any and all innuendo possible to the point it makes others uncomfortable, dragging you somewhere just to make out with you to make you hot and bothered and then dragging you back to others.

He actually prefers to not do that kind of stuff around his D.I.C.E members, they’re very special to him.  BUT he will gladly cum in your underwear and make you wear them when they come over.

Basically, fucker has very little boundaries.  

Ride his thigh.  That’s it, that’s the headcanon.

You can ride his shoes too, by the way.

He will shame you for doing it, but he loves it.

GROSS BOI THINGS (He doesn't ask for consent before doing most things, but he does for all of these)

Piss.  Fucker will piss on you if you give him the go ahead.  He likes to make you hold your piss as a power play.  You are not going to make it to the bathroom, don’t even try.  The sooner you give up, the sooner the humiliation is over.

Knives/Blood.  He aint gonna cut you to bits, but he will do small cuts here and there, his initials, depending on your pain tolerance he will manage his name (or at least part of it before it gets to be too much, he doesn’t want you crying unless you’re enjoying some part of the experience.)  He will lick the blood and smile at you like the bastard he is, blood on his chin and nose (depending on how close the cuts are together).  Pull him in for a kiss and he’ll fall more in love with you, that’s peak romance

Spit, spit, spit.  On your face, on your tongue, on your body, he doesn’t care.  If he’s drooling while fucking you, the idea of it dripping from his lips down to your body makes him want to cum immediately.  He will tap your chin to make you open your mouth and spit into it, he wants to see you swallow it and then open your mouth to show him.  He’ll laugh and call you disgusting for doing it, but it’s in the top 3 hottest things he’s ever seen you do. He also likes it if you spit Panta in his mouth but that’s solely just for you guys to know so sssshhhhhh.

[natsubeatsrock]

I'm Still Thinking About Ships and Zervis After All These Years

[tfw you miss the anniversary of the post... by several months]

HAH! You thought I was just hating on Juvia for no reason with my last one. (It wasn’t even that bad.)

Nope!

This is a series of things I want to do. I hope you don't mind that this is the second time to date I've reused this intro. Honestly, this might be one of my favorite intros to any post. The only one that tops it is starting with the conclusion in another post. (You know the one.)

Even then, this post has a special place in my heart. Over the past [EIGHT] years I've been on this blog, I've had to talk a lot about the ships. Part of it is willingly entering certain discussions. Part of it was ending up in the middle of certain fights. (I've learned not to pick fights with people.) This was my first real foray into talking about the ships to a meaningful length.

Overall, I've come to realize that Tumblr is a very ship-heavy site. Much of the discussions involving any series or topic involve ships. I used to think this was only Fairy Tail fans, but a lot of people have these issues. Almost every moderately active fandom on Tumblr has a vibrant (note: not necessarily healthy) emphasis on shipping. For what it's worth, Fairy Tail has also had its fair share of shipping wars.

So I've heard.

I don't have the same horror stories that so many other people have. I started this blog near the time that the series was ended. A lot of the shipping drama was long settled. A few months into starting this blog, there was some drama caused by some Graylu shipper who was causing beef with the Gruvia fandom. But a lot of the back-and-forth with shipping didn't affect me when I made the original post.

And then, there was the University of Gruvia.

I have to be careful when describing this, especially considering the number of people I know involved with this on both sides. I want to provide a fair assessment of this. Especially being on my side of the Gruvia debate. Luckily, I've done this several times for Gruvia already.

There was a desire among Gruvia fans to share love and information involving the ship with others. This was to manifest itself in a fan university of sorts with fan experts and actual teachers working to educate fans. Concerns came from two different places. Some fans were worried that this would cause more fights with people who didn't agree with them. I was part of the fans who thought that other shipping fandoms should get some shine and recognition first.

If you haven't heard about the University of Gruvia, that's because it didn't get off the ground. Part of it was because another group of fans set up a parody University of Graylu. There were some disputes over fans signing up for one to set the other up. The details were handled outside of my sphere.

Two big things came from it, as far as I'm concerned. I did get called out as a salty Graytear fan by some Gruvia shippers. Even though I didn't particularly hate the idea at the time. I just wanted a week for Albis. (Another rant for another day) My rationale was that whatever arguments Gruvia fans would come up with would become so mainstream it would be easy to deal with the fandom, by knocking out the ideas all at once. I still stand by that, though I get the concern others had about empowering toxic fans.

That leads to the second. I've become averse to talking about the ship. I'll talk about Nalu for any reason I feel like it. I don't handle Gruvia the same way. I am more careful not to do a lot to piss Gruvia fans off. I've noticed that the Gruvia fandom is very protective of the ship from people who disagree. (Occasionally to ironic results.) Fairy Tail is the only series in which I have a relationship with the ships I do. You all know me for not loving the big ships and being involved in smaller ships for characters. I still get kudos and comments on a story involving Laxus and Juvia, of all pairings. A lot of the appeal of the ships I don't like is lost on me. I can make arguments for them, but I don't buy any of it.

However, Fairy Tail is the only series where this is the case. I've mentioned liking Naruhina and Ichihime. But those are fairly popular among fans of their respective series. At the very least, the majority of the fandom knows why people like them. Every once in a while, a series will come where I don't love the main ships. Like, I don't love most of the big ships in RWBY, but I get why people like them. Fairy Tail is the only series where I'm actively going against the grain, in regards to shipping.

Unlike that other post about Juvia, I don't have much to say about my opinions changing. Most of what I said in that post is what I feel about the ships in general now. Like whatever you want and don't be shocked if some crazy stuff ends up becoming canon.

Though, I do need to talk about the other focus of this post. When the original post came out, it wasn't too long after chapter 450. If you don't remember, that was the chapter that confirmed a previous relationship between Zervis. While I already intended to talk about the ships as my next topic, it felt perfect to use Zervis as the lens to talk about ships.

It's not an understatement to say that fandom was going ballistic at the time. A lot of people following me probably weren't fans of the series when these chapters came out. You need to understand that, before the Alvarez Empire arc, Zervis was mere speculation. It was an idea based on one chapter of the main series and a few interactions during ZERO. Like much of Mashima's work, it makes sense in hindsight. However, this wasn't a ship taken seriously by fans until it became canon.

Honestly, I'd argue that fans made it a bigger deal than it probably needed to be because of their history. This isn't on Mashima for revealing it as late as he did. It made sense to reveal what happened between them when he did.

Take a step back and think about how much Zervis matters. No doubt, it's an important connection between two of the most influential characters in the series. It also serves as a driving force for the last arc of the series. Its resolution (somewhat?) redeems one of the main villains of the series. I will not deny any of those things.

But let's compare this to Jerza. Jellal and Erza are more influential characters. The connection between them is shown for longer in the series, both before and after the Alvarez Empire arc. This isn't even noting the ways that their relationship, directly and indirectly, affects the main events of numerous arcs. The romance between the two has been far better built up to what we see now in the sequel.

And this isn't even to mention the most important relationship in the series: Nalu. I'm not going to call it a romantic masterpiece. However, this isn't the first time I've noted that their relationship makes Fairy Tail what it is as a series. Nearly everything that happens in the series happens because these two work together. That's before we go into how either of them is either directly or indirectly involved in and/or responsible for major events in every arc.

One unfortunate thing that has become a point of discussion has been the potential claims of pedophilia on the ship. I dealt with this idea in rewriting Fairy Tail, but I want to repeat myself quickly. As I interpret the ship, Mashima's done too much to make the ship feel skeevy. Still, I don't think the ship is pedophilic.

In Conclusion:

Shipping is fun, but their fandoms can be crazy. Please enjoy both responsibly.

Also, don't ask me about the Zervis age gap.

[waywardstation]

I finally managed to grab Irida in Masters, (ran out of gems while getting Adaman) and something funny happened: I got Irida as my second out of 11 pulls and she was in between Clay and Wulfric. I also pulled Mina so it was a Pearl Clan reunion in a way.

HEY!! That’s perfect haha. Glad you got Irida!! Hoping that we do actually get Lian and Gaeric eventually though!!

I’m really looking forward to seeing who else gets added into the game. Adaman and Irida have Mai and Melli, and Calaba and Lian listed as friend topics in their lodges, and I’d really like to see if they get added down the line. Calaba is my favorite warden behind Ingo, so I really want her added. (Most of all I really want Zisu though!!!)

I’m honestly really excited to see who else gets added. Pokemas community is expecting a Volo unit for the anniversary event. They’re expecting origin form giratina or even arceus as his sync pair, but I’m also wondering about the togepi line (and if he’s in merchant attire or his arceus cosplay attire).

I know a lot of people were wondering about this poll for the Hisui sweepstakes Pokemas put out, if this was a list to pick next potential units, but I doubt it is, and it’s more like just a fun extra quiz.

I think so because I realized that this is just the same list of characters that were revealed on the PLA website before the game came out, right down to the same order. (Cogita is the only one that was revealed on the site post-game release)

So more than likely, Pokemas just pulled that list from the site and put it up.

Also, here’s an image from when PLA was still advertising for its release. These were the only wardens we were allowed to see pre-release (and look at the questionnaire list, those are the only wardens we got). Interestingly though it lists Lian as a girl instead haha

[threephantomrey]

IT’S A VERY SPECIAL DAYYYY!!!!🥳🥳🥳🥳

that’s right! it’s the 20th anniversary to my favorite movie of all time and my favorite Scooby Doo movie of all time, Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster!!!!!

so i’ve already explained how much i love this movie in a post from almost two years ago but today, i am going to add MORE love for it in this post.

Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster was probably, if not the first, one of the first movies i ever watched. many parts of it had stayed etched into my brain over the years. it was always my favorite, even through all my hyperfixations over the years and even when i went without watching it for a long time.

whenever i rewatch this movie, it feels like going back home. not just in the sense of feeling like i’m going back to when i was little and standing in front of my gray TV that would play it or going downstairs early in the morning to watch it on the TV we had in the living room and turning up the volume so loud it would wake up my dad. but also in the sense that it felt like going somewhere i belonged, rewatching the movie feels like getting a big warm hug from someone who watched you grow up and loves you. when i rewatch it, it feels like seeing an old friend again for the first time in years and finding out that they’re still the same person you loved back then. it’s a movie that never fails to give me comfort.

when i think of Loch Ness Monster, i don’t just think of the gang or the monster’s amazing design and the sounds it made, i also think of the opening scene, i think of lesbian icon Shannon Blake, Del Chillman the guy of all time and his van, all the beautiful backgrounds, Sir Ian Locksley, Professor Fiona Pembrooke and Velma fangirling over her, Colin and Angus Haggart, Blake Castle, Loch Ness, Duncan MacGubbin, Scooby carving a hole in the fog with his claw, the song Brothers Forever, Shaggy’s Rocky Road ice cream song, the scene where Shaggy and Scooby go to find the kitchen in the middle of the night that scared me when i was little so much i used to hide in my closet, Sir Ian’s submarine, the bad Scottish accents, Fred saying “da bomb diggity,” the ambiguous ending, Daphne’s pretty raincoat, you name it.

when i graduated high school, i used the line “hang onto your friends and you’ll get through whatever, soon you’ll be coming out the other side” from Brothers Forever for my high school yearbook quote. (yes, i actually did this) did anyone i went to high school with know what i was referencing? probably not, but it was awesome, and i have to give 17 year old me points for doing that.

i had even made this video in 2023 about the movie, in which i said i like to think of myself as the #1 Loch Ness Monster stan. and i think i stand by that. to me, it’s a beautiful and fun and lighthearted movie for families to enjoy and nostalgic and is full of comfort and makes you feel okay and safe🥹 (which yes, this definitely applies to Scooby Doo in general, but we’re specifically talking about Loch Ness Monster right now) with a song about friendship (Brothers Forever) that i also view to be a song specifically about Shaggy and Scooby’s friendship and the friendship between the whole gang. this is because of the lines “hang onto your friends and you’ll get through whatever, soon you’ll be coming out the other side” “wherever you go, i’ll be there by your side” “never we’ll part cause we’re stronger than ever” and “when it all falls apart, we gotta keep it together.”

and also the song is just really deep and meaningful in general. the second line in the song is literally “you’ve been hanging onto something, it’s really just enough it seems to me” and we also get these lyrics: “castles may stand but they don’t last forever, save what you can let the rest of it slide” “and this world feels like a monster who weighs a ton” “open your eyes and realize this life is just a crazy mystery” (which is such a Scooby Doo lyric) like BROOOO!!! this song is SO DEEP AND EMOTIONALLLL AND FOR WHATTTT🥺🥺 my favorite Scooby song of all time.

this movie may not be one of those pieces of Scooby Doo media that completely changed the status quo or had major impact on the fandom, (although it does do something different by having that ambiguous ending and the 3 monsters) but it was designed to not be like that. it was designed to be just a fun, traditional Scooby Doo movie with a little bit about Daphne’s family history and to be fun and lighthearted! and it does an AMAZING job at that! and you know what? it also gave us the iconic quote from Daphne “nothing’s impossible when you’ve got Scooby Doo around.” which is SO true and this movie deserves to be celebrated for that reason alone. it’s still important.

fun fact: i first heard about the Loch Ness Monster from this movie.

also the rivalry between Fiona and Ian? PERFECTION. i’d totally watch a movie about just them and their rivalry. and when he starts to believe her about the monster? top 10 sweetest moments ever. this movie just gives off such good vibes like it can really bring some comfort to you. if it was a person in real life, it’d definitely be someone you’d want to be friends with like they’d just be so chill and would cherish their friendships very much. this movie gives off a vibe of just staring out into the sunset over the sea and taking a deep breath, feeling the wind in your hair and the breeze around you and just appreciating everything.

here’s to the dark hallways we walked through while sticking beside our friends, the waters we dived into, the Blake family being danger-proned, the 3 monsters that chased us all around, the rivalry between those who don’t believe and those who do, what we’ve called the bomb diggity, everything that can be possible because Scooby Doo is around, men who are obsessed with the Loch Ness Monster and have a very cool van called the Loch Ness Monster Machine, brothers who will jump into the water when there’s a monster in it, their fathers who wished they would’ve prayed harder for daughters, and men who hold the record the most Loch Ness Monster sightings. may these memories live on for longer than 20 years.

happy anniversary Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster. you are MY brother forever❤️

[cryingforhyo]

i guess it's safe to say that I'm one of your old readers in this fandom. 😅 I've been a reader since you drop Push and Pull out on that holiday night.

I read most of your fics too. there's only one or two fic that I haven't read in the past year because life is a bit hectic now.

this is not a subtle request btw, but I'm curious if you have a 'verse focused about coming-out or realizing one's sexual orientation. I don't exactly remember every detail but, iirc, most of your fics' characters have implied sexuality which are lesbians.

It will be cool to know how you guys write about the experiences of coming out from your time period. ( I don't mean to make you feel so old 😭 but I know you two are in your 30s and are wiser and more experienced than we are (early 20s) ) I remember reading a post that it was really a different social scene compared to now.

maybe I'm also curious how you two became friends, then roommates *cough* *coughhhhh* and then wives because tbh I'm surrounded by hetero couples irl that reading about you two fascinates me.

I'm sorry for this ramble. feel free to ignore it too if it's borderline invasive. and sorry if you'll see this on a Monday morning

first off, thank you dear reader for being with us for so long! time surely flies when you're having fun, because wdym push & pull is approaching its 3rd anniversary??? creating for this fandom has been such a joint delight for the both of us, and we're just happy to share the journey with friends like you :) take your time re the new fics, esp if they're wips! we're working on them relatively slower, because life has also been hella hectic hereabouts.

onto your second query: i think this question is very interesting, actually! to address it head on, for this particular fandom i don't think i've written a 'verse where the specific challenge for any of the characters is coming to terms with their sexuality. i quite like living in this fantasy world where people are simply as-is-where-is lesbians haha. for example in our childhood best friends to lovers stories, when someone realizes their attraction, the realization is not so much about falling in love with another woman, but about falling in love with this specific person.

this way, it's the characters' shared context and history that makes their dynamic compelling, instead of the much more global milieu of lgbt relationships existing alongside all these issues and history, etc. which i also think are interesting stories to tell! but for purposes of this fandom in particular, which i think exists in a sociopolitical context that is beyond my expertise--i leave those stories to better-positioned storytellers :) in the true spirit of creating in this era, i do not want to get anything so egregiously wrong it will detract from the reader's experience.

but seriously, i have been obsessed about writing coming out/ coming of age stories for the longest time, mostly for my original work, which are set locally with local OCs. they were all i wrote about back in the day, so i guess for fanfic i figured i could instead try all the other tropes that weren't so close to real life, where coming out can be fraught and complicated. it's for the same reason that i don't write compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) or i avoid writing men as third parties in general... i've already spent a significant chunk of my writing life writing /that/ story, or at least that’s how it felt like.

but you make a good point! i'd love to try revisiting that coming out/coming of age trope and give it some aged-up flavor. let's see about that :)

on a personal note, many times when i look at today's digital landscape, I often go, thank god [this or that] did not exist just yet back in the day [or at least not in this manner] when i was figuring my shit out, because oh boy. the clout i could have chased and cancellations i could have booked haha.

suffice it to say i'm happy the digital footprints of past egregious mistakes are now buried with the deaths of old platforms. we were very lucky to have lived and loved and lost in an age where the internet could still afford some measure of forgetting.

(i know there's probably no going back to that kind of landscape, but i hope it's not too late for us to be a little kinder to each other, and definitely more forgiving of ~youth and elderly~, given how fast information cycles around these days and how wide the age range of users concurrently using the same digital spaces right now can be. it's NUTS.)

that said, c would like to clarify she is still in her twenties! hahaha. i confirm this. i also confirm that you're right to say i (k) am already out of my twenties haha.

we actually became friends through fandom! we met on tumblr lmao because that's where you met other wlw back in the day (idk if that's still where people are, istg i would not survive the current dating landscape either!) so i would not be exaggerating when i say fandom brought us together, and we're still cycling through fandoms together, having been to various ones in the past handful of years. that said we look forward to more fandoms to add to our list lol.

thanks for this ask - it's actually the PERFECT thing to see on a monday morning, in fact. hope your week goes well!

[wheneverfeasible]

[Personal IRL Post]

One of my managers accidentally deadnamed me the other day without even realizing it.

So, backstory. I have a deadname but it’s not really a gender thing. The moment I graduated high school I legally changed my name because the name given to me at birth 1. never felt like my name, and 2. actually always made me feel really gross to be called. Being called it now gives me really bad anxiety and makes me feel sick and depressed and honestly sometimes even flashbacks I don’t want to deal with. Even just thinking the name makes me feel icky.

Because it’s not gender related though, I’ve had people argue that it’s not a deadname. But the person that name belonged to? Doesn’t exist. Never has. That person was a mask I had to wear for so long and idk maybe there IS some gender mixed into it even though both names are feminine sounding but whatever. The point is that that name was never who I was and is traumatic for me. That person is dead and so is that name.

So whatever, it’s a deadname. If you have a better term for it, then please sure let me know, but the name I was given at birth is not my name and not who I am. It has never been who I am and has always felt wrong. So fuck it.

But so I’ve been my real name legally for like 15 years. It’s me, that’s who I am. Only the people who knew me before the name change know the deadname really. We have some new managers in my store too because their store closed down and they came to us. (And it’s been a fuckfest ever since but whatever there another story.)

Anyways, the other day I was in the back doing something and he saw me and was gonna ask me something and paused and chuckled and said, “I don’t know why, but I almost called you *deadname*.”

Now, when I apply to anything that requires my birth certificate, I have to provide the original with the deadname and the addendum with the change. I don’t know if maybe he happened to see my files randomly or what, but if he did it was a subconscious thing on his part and he seemed genuinely confused. Or he fucking somehow snatched my deadname out of the ethers with some weird psychic power or something. Idk.

In any case, I had two options. Very firmly tell him never to say that name to my face again, or ignore it. I chose to ignore it because I didn’t want to draw attention to it, didn’t want that name to catch in his brain when he looked at me which is what I felt would happen if I drew attention to the fact that I did not like that name attached to me.

A couple coworkers know I have a deadname but obviously don’t know what it is, even the coworker who ALSO has a deadname which is sadly still their legal name so it’s on certain paperwork everyone sees and knows. I do try to blot it out with their real name when able, writing over the schedules or whatever when able if someone else hasn’t already.

Anyways. The whole point of this is just to say that a managed happened to accidentally deadname me the other day and it was like a fucking jump scare and I didn’t acknowledge him or the name when he spoke to me saying it, even if he wasn’t actively calling me that name. And it’s been kind of rotating in my head ever since like a damned rotisserie chicken, and I haven’t thought that name in a while but now it keeps popping up in my head randomly and I hate it.

Like fucking seriously dude. This sucks. And I’m already having trauma responses recently due to it being the second anniversary of going NC with my family AND stressing out because I’m not going to be able to make rent this month and I haven’t had money for groceries which has been making me sick in this heat because I’m not eating and just…ugh. I fucking hate the summer.

Anyways just had to write that out to hopefully get it out of my head.