#you know what im puttin out there for u to pick up ;)
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coomerclones · 3 years ago
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hi hello i am legitimately here asking you to do all of them. please and thank you. or whichever ones interest you, at least!!! (for the hlvrai ask meme)
DNBDKHBSVKH u kno what. i will thank u that'll definitely help me pass time LOL puttin it under a readmore;
How’d you find out about HLVRAI? > so i definitely saw it all over my dash when it first came out, but i didn't know anything about haIf life so i just kinda ignored it, i didn't really think abt it at all bc i was like 'oh this is hl related and ive never played that, so' but at some point my brother watched it on the suggestion of a pal (he knew more about hl than i did, but also not v much) and then made me watch it bc he thought i'd like it. then we watched it two more times afterwards w different sibs and during the third watch i really felt the fixation Activate in my brain LOL
Who’s your favorite character and why? > a hard question... i love them all v much. the first place is like a threeway tie between gordon tommy and coomer that kinda changes around - ultimately it's probably gordon, but tommy and coomer are so close behind him that it's hard to really say lol though coomer was my fav during the first watch, and tommy was my fav during the next two!
Who do you relate to most in the series? > gordon maybe kbdfjhb
What font do you use most? > the font i use the most PURPOSELY is heffaklump. this is because it is the n/eopets font
Favorite Scene? > i have no idea how im supposed to pick this when there are SO many good ones tbh like several came to mind oooaaa
Favorite Act? > probably.... hm.. the final ?? maybe even act 1 actually. idk they're all good for their own reasons
Favorite Line? > when i first watched it my fav was probably the whole coomer 'gordon, look out! hotted boobs up ahead! tits big ones' + 'gordon, titty boob huge fuck' but now... hm... god.. idk there are so many like good little lines ive come to appreciate very much kjjngjhbfvdf it's hard to pick One
Favorite Beverage? > my fav beverage that i have Commonly is a nice can of barqs root beer, my fav beverage that i only have on rare occassions tho is cola champagne! it's sooo good
Favorite Song (PASSPORT GUARDIAN, Dr.Coomer’s Bumpin Mix)? > AH ok i love passport guardian but it might be dr coomers bumpin mix, that gets in my head a lot kjfnjhbdf
Do you have a favorite headcanon or trope about any of the characters? > they're all neurodivergent and lgbt+ <3
Have you watched any other series similar to HLVRAI (Gorgeous Freeman, Freeman’s mind)? > no and i'm not rly interested in doing so
Do you drink soda? > hell yea
Do you think aliens exist? > hell yea
What toppings do you like on your pizza? > i usually like having a couple toppings at a time and it ranges depending on what i'm in the mood for ig? typically i go for like bacon or sausage or chicken or pepperoni, maybe some olives etc
What weapon would you use in a alien invasion? > idk kfjnjhdb i dont see myself as super likely to be doing anything besides hiding somewhere + crying but probably just whatever i could get my hands on rly lol probably smth generic if im picking a hl weapon tho im either going classic crowbar or hivehand (tho putting my hand into the hivehand sounds atrocious)
If you could be in any video game, which one would you be in? > if it counts im picking n/eopets. if it doesnt count im picking n/eopets the darkest faerie for ps2 if that ALSO doesnt count for some reason... idk probably just animal crossing lol, a nice peaceful existence
If you could memorize any wikipedia page by heart, which one? > the n/eopets wikipedia page would b really funny bc absolutely no one needs to hear me recite that
What’s your favorite video game right now? > currently ive been watching my brother play n/eopets the darkest faerie so im being reminded how much i love that game, so it's that i'm not actively playing anything besides Actual N/eopets right now so ;w;
Have you played any of the Half Life games? > yeah though not til after h/lvrai, and i only just played hl2 in january ! i still have to play the hl2 episodes, but other than that i did finish hl1, blue shift, opposing force, and hl 2 !
Do you watch any of the gang (Wayne, Holly, Gir,etc)? > i mostly watch wayne and scorpy and the occassional baaulp stream - i used to watch a lot more baaulp when i was waking up earlier. i'd never Knowingly heard of any of them until h/lvrai tho !
If they make a second one, what is one thing you want to happen in it? > i hope they drinka nice refreshing soda (my way of saying idk! i dont want anything specific to happen, i'd just be excited to be along for the ride :) !)
What do you think is inside G-man’s suitcase? > some sort of void ig? i dont rly think about it a lot kffjknf
Is Chuck E. Cheese a restaurant or a entertainment center? > ¡ENTERTAINMENT CENTER!
THERE! finished... this successfully passed time and made me sleepy (exactly what i wanted) so thank u so much for asking me to answer them all LOL if anyone read all this ur a hero in my heart.. have a wonderful day
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chickenkooks · 7 years ago
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the noisy neighbors [m]
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❛❛i live in a house full of stupid men and their dirty underwear except there is an angel in their midst and he cleans up after himself and does everyone’s laundry and we share the same neighbor who likes to have wild sex every night and the hot boy hates confrontation but i guess not when his dick is in my vagina❜❜ AU
COUNT → 7.143
GENRE → smut 
PAIRING → jinyoung | reader
WARNINGS → dom and sub tones | oral sex | explicit language | penetration | graphic dirty talk | spanking 
note → this is for my friend @loljinyoungie because it’s her birthday today!!!! birthday smut!!!! so if ur reading this. please feel free to send her a birthday message :-D i hope u like this smut though!!!!! i told you i would finish it!!!!!!!!! a little later than i planned but oH WELL HAVE AT ALL YOUR KINKS I HOPE I DID THEM JUSTICE. AND IF I SPELLED HIS NAME “JIMYOUNG” ANYWHERE IM GONNA BE SO MAD IDK WHY THAT IS EVEN A THING THAT HAPPENS
You really hated the fact that you were such a light sleeper.
One of your favorite sounds in the world was nothing. That's not to say you didn't have a favorite sound, but that your favorite sound was literally nothing. Nothing was the sound of a cool breeze blowing against your house's exterior. Or maybe it was even the sound of rain dripping from your roof outside your window—sounds like those.
Nothing was white noise, but it also sounded cooler to say nothing rather than that.
However, the sound of bodies thudding into the wall next to you? That was definitely not white noise.
Your walls were thin. And it just so happened that the wall your bed was propped against was the same wall that your viagra housemate liked to frequent with his dick rammed in something—usually some girl's poor vagina. And it was never her who was loud, always him. He moaned and cursed and grunted very violently that sometimes you worried for her safety—or all of their safety if it was more than one girl. Still, this happened every single night.
It was like he had to have his dick in something every day that you kind of worried about him, too.
And it was never at the same time either. Sometimes, he liked to start the day off with his dick sucked. You know, that's reasonable because once you were asleep, you were fucking asleep and not even his low grunts could wake your slumber. It was like you were a vampire or something, except you did enjoy garlic bread from time to time.
Why don't you just move your bed?
A good question.
Though, why the fuck should you have to take the time out of your day to move around your prehistoric mattress and bedframe just so that you could fucking go to sleep? You were stubborn—you could admit that. He should have the good human fucking decency to not fucking wake up the entire house with his weird sex noises.
Or maybe you hadn't gotten laid for a long time and this was something that made you bitter.
Maybe you were bitter. He was getting laid every fucking night and there you were watching Veggie Tales while eating a salad because... cannibalism. That could be it but you also weren't the only person in your house who hated him. In fact, your other housemate on the opposite side of his room was actually just as peeved as you.
Jinyoung was his name.
Except Jinyoung didn't like to complain.
When you met him—and everyone else living in the house—he was the one who kept to himself. He made polite conversation and listened when you complained that hail was an abomination to weather, but he never really volunteered any complaints of his own. Maybe he didn't like you and thought you were a freak for hating hail when you could be spending your time doing something productive, but then he asked to use your toaster oven the day after because his broke. And that's what got you talking—not every day, though. Jinyoung wasn't home often—he worked in some office downtown. In fact, Jinyoung was hardly ever home at a reasonable time either.
But he always came back just when the guy sandwiched between your rooms started getting jiggy with it.
That was a reference that he was fucking someone without having to say that.
Sitting straight up in bed, your feet eased into your slippers beside your bedside table, storming out your bedroom door and into the main upstairs hallway so you could make him shut up already. This wasn't the first time you'd done this and it sure as fuck wouldn't be the last; he just never got the message. You would say, "Kindly shut up, you insignificant pest," and he would say, "Sure thing, Cantaloupe. Sorry about all the noise. I'll be quiet."
Cantaloupe wasn't even your fucking name—or a name at all—so you had no idea where he got that from.
It was like his fucking ears were made out of cantaloupes.
You squinted as you closed your door and listened with a twitching eyebrow as you could hear his headboard slamming against the wall. You'd just been innocently laying in your bed for the past few hours reading when suddenly there were sex noises and you wanted to fling yourself out your open bedroom window.
Just as you went to knock violently on his door, you heard the front door opening and footsteps up the stairs.
"Oh," Jinyoung said as soon as he saw you, loosening his suit's tie. "Hey."
Your cheeks heated as you glanced down at what you were wearing—a skimpy white tank top and a pair of pajama bottoms with illustrations of morbidly obese cats decorating the fabric. You crossed your arms over your chest in an 'x' formation as you turned around, smiling at him awkwardly. He gave your body a once over, then snorted.
"What keeps you up at this late hour, Cantaloupe?"
You rolled your eyes. Park Jinyoung thought he was funny.
"Ha-ha," you replied, monotonously. "You're hilarious."
Remembering why you were in the hallway being teased by Jinyoung, you looked back at the door and listened for a moment for any more noises coming from within his room. When there was a crash inside, there was suddenly an incomprehensible shout about how his dead grandma bought him that vase and then something else.
If it was incomprehensible, how did you know that?
You were able to make out a few words—that's how.
"Ah. He's making his noises again tonight, huh?"
"Yes, so if you'll excuse me—"
You went to knock on his door when Jinyoung suddenly reached out, grasping your wrist so it hung mid-air. You glanced over your shoulder at him then, furrowing your eyebrows just as he slowly let go.
Jinyoung had this thing where he hated confrontation, you remembered.
"Jinyoung," you huffed out. "If I don't say something, he'll just—"
"I know but surely he's almost done by now."
"Well, I need to say something."
Jinyoung sighed. "He hasn't listened to anything you've said to him before. What makes now any different?"
"So you want me to just walk to my room like a sissy when I could easily just knock on his door?"
"I just think there are better ways you can go about this. It'll just cause a disruption."
Your eyes bulged at that, jaw dropping. "And his weird sex noises won't?!"
Jinyoung paused, glancing at the door and you both listened again.
"See," he said. "He's done now. It's fine. Just go to sleep."
You tongued your cheek. "You have to live with him too, you know?"
"I know," he replied, solemnly. "Now... go to sleep, Cantaloupe."
And then you two parted ways to your separate rooms.
It was a week after that. Since it was summer, you basically just lounged around the house doing nothing but eating your weight in potato chips. You did have a part-time job but just not during the weekends, which coincidentally was when Jinyoung actually came home for an entire hour for his lunch break.
You didn't know why he didn't just eat out in the city but you weren't about to question it.
He always cleaned up after himself, picking up other people's messes. You hated that part of him because people should clean up their own messes. That's why the planet was doomed—because no one wants to clean up after themselves or leave it how they found it. Although he kept to himself, he was the glue that held you all together.
Walking into the kitchen, you saw him with his sleeves rolled up and holding a sponge, doing the dishes. Opening the wooden cabinets, you pulled out a box of mac and cheese, then looked for your pot to start boiling the water.
"Hey, Jinyoung," you began. "Have you seen my pot? I usually put it up here."
Your eyes fell onto the pot sitting at the oven at the same time—the dirty pot.
"You're fucking kidding me," you grumbled, stomping over to it.
Someone had decided to use your pot and then not clean up after themselves. And who the fuck heats up spaghettios in a fucking pan anyway? Why not just put it in a bowl and into the microwave? That's easier.
"The same person who left their dirty dishes in the sink," Jinyoung said after a moment.
For the first time, you looked closer at whose dishes Jinyoung was scrubbing at.
"Jinyoung, don't you have to eat still? Aren't you on your lunch break?"
"Yes, but I can't make anything with a dirty sink," he answered.
You sighed. "I can't stand him. Here... I'll help you."
Gently, you nudged his hip with yours, jostling him out of the way. He chuckled to himself, shaking his head, then grabbed one of the towels hanging on a nearby hook to wipe his hands as he observed you cleaning the dishes.
"God... I just can't believe him. He really doesn't care about anyone but himself."
"I'm sure he just... forgot..." Jinyoung mumbled, placing his hands on the edge of the sink.
"No. He did it on purpose, same with using my pan..." you grumbled.
Jinyoung then moved to grab your pot, turning the faucet on as you scrubbed at a large plate caked in pasta sauce, and went to soak it. As he went to work, you observed his side profile. He sure was handsome and you remembered how you wanted to ask him if he was single the moment you met.
A handsome guy like him had to have a girlfriend or something.
"What?" he asked, pausing mid-scrub when he caught you.
"Nothing," you quickly replied, turning back to the sink.
"No," he said, putting the pot in the isnk. "What is it?"
You shook your head. "It's nothing... You're just..."
Staring off into space, you looked back at him with a smile.
"You're just really handsome is all. I hope you know that."
Looking away from you, he blushed. "Thanks."
Stumbling, he reached forward and accidentally switched the faucet onto the setting where it sprayed water in tiny streams instead and then disconnected it from the sink. It landed upside down and caused water to completely soak both your shirts. You let out a shriek as you stepped back, the plate falling into the sink then.
"I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed and you looked at him in surprise, then down at your shirt.
You could see through it entirely, showing off your bra and your piercing nipples.
And then he handed you the towel beside the sink to cover yourself.
"They're just boobies, Jinyoung," you teased but he didn't turn around.
Snorting, you tossed the towel onto the counter and left the kitchen. Glancing back at him one more time as you gripped onto the staircase railing, you observed him scrubbing furiously at your pot with tinted cheeks.
A few days after that incident, you came storming out of your room to your neighbor having sex once again.
The annoying, not hot one. It wasn't Jinyoung having sex.
"Jinyoung?" you called, knocking on his door.
Your neighbor was playing music to cover up whatever he was doing, but you could still fucking hear him. How could he be so oblivious to how loud he was? Did he just fuck girls who really knew how to use their mouths?
Maybe you should ask for their phone numbers.
"Come in," he yelled over the music.
Stomping in, you slammed the door behind you. Although you'd been in his room a few times, it was always rearranged a different way each time. You did notice that Jinyoung was an extreme perfectionist.
"You hear that, right?" you asked, crossing your arms.
"Yeah. And I'm trying to study, too..." Jinyoung grumbled.
"I can't believe him. What if I was trying to sleep?"
You paced around his room, letting out an occasional growl as the song ended and there was an awkward pause. Jinyoung's head came up just as there was a loud crashing sound and moan from the other side of the wall.
Jinyoung snorted. "You? Sleeping before two in the morning?"
"Okay. Fine... Maybe I wasn't but still—"
"You can stay here, if you want."
"Really? I won't bother you?"
"No. I'm done anyway."
Jinyoung leant back into his desk chair, closing his book with a gentle slam before standing up to put it away on his large bookshelf. After a moment, he walked over to his bed and settled against it, still in his work clothes. The TV had still been playing even when you walked in, so you guessed he'd been trying to mask the music and sex.
You followed him to his bed, sitting beside him gingerly.
"So—" you started to say when a sex scene came on.
The two actors on the screen immediately began undressing and you hesitantly looked over at Jinyoung, who was trying to decide whether to act natural or look away—because what do you even do in that situation? A sex scene makes things awkward no matter what. You could pretend all you wanted that it wasn't awkward—but it was.
"S-So... What were you studying for?"
"My accounting exam," he replied.
"Really? You have to study for that?"
There were now both sex noises from the TV and the room next door. From the corner of your eye, you saw Jinyoung fidgeting, scratching at his chin nervously as he avoided looking straight at the television screen.
You grabbed the remote then, turning the volume to drown out the noises from your neighbor.
As you could still hear him, however, you stomped towards the door to tell him to shut up.
Jinyoung followed after you, grabbing a hold of your elbow out of nowhere, but that just caused you to trip on one of his shoes—and where did that even come from because his room was spotless—and the two of you came crashing down on his hardwood floor with Jinyoung under you. He stared at you with wide eyes then.
The front of your pants was pressed especially hard against him and you felt something.
"Jinyoung..." you breathed out.
He blinked, then asked, "Yes?"
"I have this crazy idea."
Jinyoung didn't have much time to think before your lips came crashing down on his.
His lips were so soft, like kissing a cloud from how moist they were, but he was still beneath your crushing mouth. His arms laid unmoving at his sides, not even moving to touch you with the tip of his finger. And after you unconsciously began to swirl your hips and grind into him powerfully, he groaned into your mouth.
"Touch me," you said, pulling away briefly to give him time to speak.
Instead of saying anything, he just stared at you in muted surprise.
"Touch me, Jinyoung," you said again, grabbing at his limp hands.
You brought them to touch your covered breasts but he didn't move an inch, didn't even glance down at your breasts on full display—just kept looking at you and occasionally down at your lips as you exhaled shakily.
When his palm gave a slight, hesitant squeeze, you knew you had him.
You threw yourself back into him, kissing him as hard as you could to elicit any sort of reaction out of him, and he finally responded. Starting with returning it, he eventually licked at your lips and his hands drifted away from your breasts to grab your hips, then finally wrapping around your waist to crush you more into his hard, defined chest.
The voices from the actors on screen as they had a passionate get-together with their genitals faded into the background, as well as the sounds coming from the opposite side of the wall. Right then, it was just you and Jinyoung as you kissed and touched each other so intimately you felt your hairs sticking up. He was always out of your reach—so far away—either physically or emotionally. You thought he was unavailable, three years older than you and in grad school already while you were still taking gen ed classes. That's what you thought, but as he licked the seam of your lips and thrusted his tongue inside your mouth, he felt touchable for the first time—reachable.
His hands trailed back to your waist before flipping the two of you over until you flat on your back. Even with the sex scene on the television screen long over as new actors took up their own screentime, you didn't tell him to stop—not even when you heard nothing from the adjacent bedroom, too. It was that familiar white noise.
But you didn't like to sound of nothing as Jinyoung stared down at you, hesitantly.
You wanted to hear something. You wanted to hear anything—and from him.
You weaved your fingers into his black hair, pulling him down until your lips connected once again, which coaxed him to relax and touch you again. His hips moved against yours as you ground into each other—sensually. When his hardening length brushed against one specific spot, you moaned out loudly, and he pulled away from you.
"Don't stop," you told him desperately, fingers still clinging on to his hair.
When he didn't budge, you sat up slowly, furrowing your eyebrows. He moved away from you to give you room, as if you were about to tell him you changed your mind, but then you pushed him with the tips of your fingers so he was on his back. He didn't make a move to sit up and you took that as a sign to work on undoing his belt's buckle.
He didn't even try to stop you as you pulled at his work pants, just watched you with half-lidded eyes.
"Is this okay?" you asked, glancing down at his cock through his briefs.
"Yeah..." he answered, swallowing thickly.
Getting his consent, you watched him carefully but reached into his underwear for his cock, surprised at the size as you blinked in a daze. Just as he was looking like he was about to change his mind, you leant over him and your mouth sank down on him. Immediately, he felt how warm your mouth was and you didn't take your eyes off him—not even for one second. Your tongue swirled around him, licking at every inch of him you could. He didn't entirely fit in your mouth, so whatever didn't fit you just stroked with your balled up fist. His head fell back against the floor with a thud as he groaned out loudly. His eyes snapped open at that, looking at his bedroom wall.
"W-Wait—" he started to say, but you didn't stop.
Instead, your grip on him tightened as you went even faster, pulling him farther into your mouth until you felt the tip hit the back of your throat, pausing for a moment and wincing at the unpleasant feeling as you swallowed around him. His hands didn't know where to go, from laying at his sides to pulling at his tailored suit.
You didn't really know why he wore his work clothes for so long, even after he came home.
"Fuck..." he grunted, one of his hands cupping the back of your head.
You'd never heard him curse before and you could feel yourself getting wet just at the sound of it, and then began to bob on his dick even faster, your eyes watering slightly. Jinyoung started to unconsciously thrust into your mouth then, his hips raising off the floor each time, and you welcomed it, trying to take all of him.
"Shit!" he cried out as you swallowed around him again.
Pulling him completely out of your mouth, you used your tongue to lick at the slit, running a wet strip from the base of his cock all the way to the underside of his tip, leaving a stream of saliva behind. He observed you with half-lidded eyes before his head fell back again, not being able to take the sight of you looking at him like that.
"Shit... You're so good at this... Fuck... I'm going to cum."
You pulled your mouth away and just sat on your heels, watching him come undone just from you stroking him in a blurred movement of your fist. However, before he even came, he frantically told you to stop.
"Jinyoung..." you started to say, slowing your pace slightly.
"No, I mean it... I don't want..." he trailed off. "I don't want him to hear me."
"He wants us to hear him, though. And plus, you sound so hot anyway..."
"Fuck..." he said at your words. "I'm— Fu—ck. I'm—"
"Cum in my mouth."
You descended your mouth back on him as you continued to stroke him frantically. He didn't seem to hear you—or at least didn't respond—but spurts of his cum came firing into your mouth until he was laying there like a worm.
His head thudded against the floor after, smiling slightly to himself, but then remembered you.
"No, it's okay," you said, knowing what he was thinking. "I think he's done now, so thanks."
"Wait— What about you—"
"You just owe me one."
And then you left.
"Hey."
You looked to the open doorway of your bedroom to see it was Jinyoung. Still in his work clothes, you laughed to yourself. He wore that suit so often that you thought it was just another layer of his skin.
Good thing he looked hot in a suit.
"Hey," you replied, putting down your book beside you on the bed.
You sat up as he looked around your bedroom, admiring some of the paintings you had hanging on the wall and your calendar beside the door that had a different cat for each month, the dates decorated with cat ears.
"Can I join you?" he asked after a moment, closing the door behind him.
"Sure," you said, sitting up. "What's up?"
"Well..." By the color of crimson his ears turned, you knew it had to be about what happened the other day on his bedroom floor—the whole his dick in your mouth thing. "I just— I felt bad about— You know... So, I— Uh..."
"You want to pay me back?"
"Yeah. Is that okay?"
You bit your lip and nodded.
Kicking his shoes off by your door, he walked over to your bed. It creaked beneath his weight as he sat down and then he turned to you, just staring at you for a moment before he went to loosen his tie around his neck.
"Did you just get back from work?" you asked, watching him undress.
Jinyoung nodded. "Yeah. Five minutes ago."
"So... were you thinking about this all day?"
"It might've crossed my mind once or twice."
Your head fell back as you laughed. "That's hot."
His knees pressed them into the mattress when he started to move towards you, his tie long forgotten in a heap on your rug. Watching him carefully, you lowered yourself onto your back until he was hovering over you.
"Is our favorite neighbor here?" he asked lowly, his lips inches from yours.
"I don't think so. It's quiet, so that's how I know he's gone."
"Good. That means you can be as loud as you want."
"Ooh, spicy..." you said, waggling your eyebrows.
"Take off your pants," he instructed.
"Why can't you do it for me?"
"I'm about to do a lot for you."
Raising an eyebrow, you did as he said and pulled at your denim shorts. He couldn't wait, though, and helped you tug them the rest of the way down your legs as you raised your hips, flinging them somewhere behind him.
Next was your underwear but surprisingly, when you went to remove them, he stopped you.
"Not yet."
His mouth came crashing down on yours, smothering your lips with his own. At first, the kiss was fast and messy, your tongues colliding together in a frenzy, but then he was pulling away from you to leave a trail of kisses from the corner of your lips, to your jaw, to your neck, before finally landing on your chest from your low-cut shirt.
Your hands came to crush his mouth to your chest when he just looked at the soft fabric of your shirt, leaving wet spots where he bit and nipped over your covered nipples. You cried out then, arching your back into his mouth.
He raised an eyebrow and took you rubbing your legs together as a sign for him to take it farther.
Crawling down your body, he stopped until his head was between your legs, kissing at your inner thighs and biting and sucking at the skin there until you were marked in blotches of purple and red. One of his fingers played with the band of your underwear, snapping it against your skin teasingly, and you exhaled shakily.
"I didn't know you were such a tease..." you said, smiling with your eyes closed.
"It's no fun when you get your way, though."
And then he fingered at your underwear again, lifting it up and pushing it to the side so he could cup you. Just from the pads of his fingers touching you there, he could feel how wet you were—and all because of him.
"You're making this too easy."
His middle finger slowly eased into your entrance, stroking at your walls gently as he pumped in and out of you. His thumb then came to press down on your clit and you moaned out, a scalding sensation shooting straight into your lower stomach. He took that as another good sign and then inserted his forefinger into you, his fingers thrusting in and out of you at a faster pace with each drawn out moan and each wiggle of your hips. Eventually, he had to use the hand pulling your underwear back to still your hips and the soaked fabric came to rest on the back of his hand.
Unconsciously, you moved away from him and so he pulled his fingers out of you. You opened your eyes then, looking up at him as he sucked each finger into his mouth, licking off your wetness. Feeling faint, you sighed to yourself, wiggling your hips again and clenching your walls around nothing in anticipation. It was nice to be fingered and it was even better to cum, but you wanted to cum on his dick—you wanted to cum on it now.
"Jinyoung," you breathed out. "I want you."
"You can't have me," he answered. "Not yet."
"Well, why the fuck not?!" you yelled, sitting up on your elbows.
He couldn't answer because then the two of you heard loud, thunderous footsteps up the stairs and the bedroom door next to yours slamming shut. You listened and signed internally as you heard a female voice giggling and then a gruff male one, the bed creaking as you assumed they were both lying in his bed now.
"Great..." you mumbled to yourself, bending over your bed to look for your pants.
"No," Jinyoung said. "It's okay. I want to keep going. Is that okay?"
You looked back at him and nodded, surprised.
This wasn't like him at all. Jinyoung had never once brought a girl over—never. You knew he had sex but he never had sex here, and that was because he was so self-conscious. So, it was very surprising he wanted to keep going.
He pulled your underwear completely off that time, following your pants and landing somewhere behind him.
Jinyoung didn't waste any time and immediately ducked his head and flicked at your clit with his tongue, causing you to cry out. The giggling stopped in the other room and you placed a hand over your mouth, looking at him.
Time stood still as you two waited for them to resume and they did—after a painfully long sixty seconds.
"Be quiet," he whispered and then went back to pressing kisses to your clit.
He inserted his finger again, using his thumbs to separate your folds and you clenched your hand into a fist against your mouth, breathing heavily. Instead of how he was taking his time before, he was rushing things.
"Jinyoung," you said. "It's okay. I'll be quiet. Just slow down."
He nodded, pulling his fingers out of you.
Then replaced them with his mouth.
"Fuck..." you said, softly.
"Feel good?" he whispered back.
You nodded, head falling back and hand slamming against your mouth as he thrusted his tongue inside of you. His nose brushed against your clit and you breathed out of your nose slowly, trying to contain yourself. Then one of his hands pulled away and his thumb came against your clit again, circling it wildly when he lowered his head to bring his nose away. Your juices coated his chin as he started to wildly lick and kiss at your inner walls, then brought his mouth away to watch you, inserting his fingers again. His knuckles brushed against you as he went deeper and deeper before he felt around for that special spot—then found it easily, smiling to himself at your reaction.
Red hot in the face, sweat lining your brow, gasping for air—you were a mess for him.
You could barely contain yourself then and you reached behind you for your pillow, smothering your face.
"Jinyoung!" you screamed through the pillow but he kept going. "Oh, god... Oh, god. I'm going to— I'm—"
The two of you hadn't even noticed the talking stopped again before you moaned into the pillow loudly, hips rising as you came roughly around his fingers. He helped you ride out your orgasm, slowing his pace but not stopping.
Your hips came down to rest on the mattress again and you sighed—you were laying there like a worm now.
"How was that?" he asked, pleased with himself.
"Good god... So good... Wow. You're so good with—"
He chuckled. "Thanks. I owed you one, though."
You smiled up at him, then pushed yourself up to sit beside him, nudging your shoulder with his as you smiled to yourself. If this was him paying you back for sucking his dick, you wondered how he fucked with that dick.
"But that doesn't mean I don't owe you one."
"No, no, no. You don't owe me anything."
"Maybe not. But I still want you to fuck me."
Jinyoung looked at the wall behind you then, shaking his head. Pouting, you nodded, understanding that maybe all this was just him returning the favor, not meaning he was interested in you like that at all.
"We can't..." he whispered.
"It's okay, but why not?"
"We can't right now. Later."
"Okay, but I hope you really mean later."
He nodded. "Later. Really, really later."
And then he walked out of your room.
After Jinyoung left, your neighbor took that as a sign to fuck his girlfriend.
How nice for the both of them. For her to have a penis in her, not that you could relate.
It'd been at least seven hours now and you didn't even know if Jinyoung was still in the house. He walked on light feet, so you never heard him walking around, so he could've easily left to go somewhere. Maybe he left to fuck someone else since you were pretty sure he got a massive boner. And yet, he didn't want to fuck you.
Later, he said.
When was that? Maybe you should've discussed that properly so you would know when that even was.
Angry and sex-deprived, you stomped out of your room after hearing the annoying sound of your neighbor snoring after a long, torturous hour and a half, and into the kitchen. A glass of cold water would calm down your temper, so you reached into the cabinet to grab one of your glasses, reaching into the freezer for some ice cubes. You struggled to even get the cubes out of the tray, however, and contemplated slamming it on the countertop.
A touch on your shoulder, though, startled you and you accidentally slammed the tray on the countertop anyway.
"It's okay!" they said, the warm voice familiar. "It's me. It's Jinyoung."
Closing your eyes in relief, you placed a hand over your beating heart and then turned around to look at him.
"And where have you been?" you asked, teasingly, with an eyebrow raised.
Though, you also really wanted to know the answer to that, too.
"My room. Why did it take you seven hours to leave?"
"What? Were you waiting for me or something?"
He nodded. "Yeah. I didn't want to... in your room."
Your mouth fell open as you felt like a fucking idiot.
It was kind of obvious, now that you thought about it.
"Sorry... I didn't— Well, I'm here now, so do your worst."
One corner of his lips tilted up at that, and then he looked around the kitchen. When his eyes fell on the dining room table, he grinned and tugged your hand to follow him. You set your glass down on the counter, already feeling that familiar excitement bubble inside of you at the thought of what he was going to do to you.
If his fingers made you feel that good, you couldn't even imagine what his dick would feel like.
"Lay on the table."
You hopped up on the table just as he asked, then laid down, already reaching for your pants, but he slapped your hand away. Cradling your hands to your chest, you snorted at the impatient look on his face.
"I didn't say to take off your clothes," he teased, tugging at the band.
"Okay but... What's so different about here? They'll still probably hear us."
"You're probably right. It's a good thing I don't care. Do you?"
Then why didn't you just come back? you asked no one in particular.
Oh, well.
"Hell no. Fuck me, Jinyoung."
"I will. Just be patient."
You growled out, frustrated.
"Come on. You don't need to finger me when you just did that seven hours ago—"
"I know but I want to," he said, then pulled at the band of your pants again.
From over the top of his head, you carefully watched the staircase, listening for any sounds that weren't muffled snores from your neighbor's bedroom. If he came downstairs, he'd have a good view of your pussy.
"He's not going to come down here. Relax."
Just as his finger entered you, you said, "Wait. Can I try something first?"
He nodded, pulling away from you and you sat up, hopping off the table. Kneeling before him, you unbuttoned his pants quickly—and struggled for a moment—and pulled him out of his underwear, licking your lips nervously.
"I want you to fuck my mouth," you told him.
"What?" he asked, surprised. "Really?"
"Yeah."
"All right."
You gripped him at the base and slowly wrapped your lips around him, then relaxed your mouth as you closed your eyes. Biting into his lip, Jinyoung anxiously gripped the back of your head to get a good hold on you and weaved his fingers into your hair. You seemed to like that, though, when you moaned around his length.
And when you nodded, he took that as the signal and thrusted into your mouth.
Your eyes watered as he fucked your mouth, wincing but loving every second. When his fingers tugged at your hair, nearly pulling the strands right out of their roots, you moaned around him again and he groaned at that.
You swallowed around him, eliciting him to go faster, fuck your throat harder—and he did. His hips moved back and forth wildly as he frantically rammed his cock into you. With each thrust, you had to keep yourself still and relax your throat, feeling it becoming sore but it was worth it. Your hands felt his thighs, nails digging into the soft fabric of his work pants that he never took off for some reason—when suddenly he pulled out of you.
"If you keep doing that, I'm going to cum," he explained, gasping for air. "Your turn."
You nodded and laid back down on the table. It was as if him nearly reaching his orgasm made him even more impatient and he tugged at your underwear so roughly that the material stretched, but you didn't yell at him.
In fact, you found the whole thing incredibly hot.
He fell to his knees and immediately started an intense pace with his fingers inside of you, easing in and out at a frantic speed while he tried to stretch you out as much as possible. Your toes curled at the sensation and he watched you carefully, smiling as your eyes closed and mouth dropped open. If possible, his fingers thrusted into you even faster, so fast that you could almost imagine they were his dick—except you hoped his dick was bigger.
"Please," you begged, grabbing onto his arm. "Fuck me."
His pace slowed down but he didn't pull out of you, until he pressed down on your clit and your back arched.
"Please! Fuck—please," you cried out.
He nodded quickly, stepping away from you to step out of his pants and completely remove his briefs.
Your eyes fell to him naked from the waist down and you almost drooled, but then he was pulling at your hips so you stood on your feet, then spun you around until your cheek came crashing down on the wooden table.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Ye—s."
You were jostled forward as soon as he took that first step—his cock pressing into you so deeply that you couldn't help but groan, your nails clawing into the table. His warm hands held your hips and you knew you wanted nothing more than for him to slap your ass. That's what would get you off. Nothing was hotter than him manhandling you.
"Jinyoung," you gasped out as he kept up a fast pace. "Spank me."
"Spank you? You're into that?"
You nodded into the table.
Hesitating slightly, he did as you asked and brought his hand to slap your ass softly and you moaned softly. He blinked, stopping his thrusts inside of you to do it again—but harder. You clenched your fists as his hand came down on you even harder, feeling the sting that time. Your walls clenched around him then and he groaned.
"You really like this?" he asked.
"Yeah. Just like that."
He paused, then looked around the room for a moment.
You were pulled up abruptly then, your eyes snapping open, as he pulled you over to the living room couch before sitting down, tugging at your hand so you were sitting in his lap but not crushing his dick coated in your wetness.
"Ride me," he told you.
You didn't need to be told twice and slowly gripped him from under you, easing him into you slowly. Both of you moaned out at that and his hand slapped your ass again, slapping you harder each time you pulled yourself up.
"Keep going," he said, massaging your skin.
You nodded and bounced up and down on him even faster, seeking that familiar sting and the feeling of him penetrating you. His head fell against the back of the couch then, moaning loudly as you continued to ride him. Blindly, his free hand reached for you and then the pad of his thumb pressed into your clit, causing you to cry out and ride him even faster—harder—swirling your hips and clenching around him as you chased after your orgasm.
He pulled away from your clit and brought both of his hands to your ass, pulling and grabbing at the flesh there and kneading his knuckles into it. One hand came down on your ass again as the slap sounded around the living room and you clenched around him again, your vision blurring as all you could feel was that spark ignite in you.
On the edge, his hands trailed past your ass until they were gripping the small of your back and flipped you over onto your stomach. Raising your ass in the air, he thrusted into you again and pressed down on the back of your head, your cheek pressing into the couch cushion as he rammed into you.
"J-Jinyoung! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" you cried out, fists clenching.
He reached around you then and squeezed your breasts. With each thrust, they swung forward and he squeezed even harder. You rested your head against the back of your arms, trying to hold on but knowing you were so close to cumming. His dick stroked every inch of you and you knew you were going to be sore after.
"I'm gonna—"
"Cum."
He felt you clench around him one more time as you came, arching your back and then falling limply onto the couch. Jinyoung powered through it, however, and managed to thrust a few more times before he came himself, feeling you cringe from the oversensitivity.
His head fell back against the opposite arm of the couch then, chuckling, while you laid on the other side.
"So, that happened," he said after a long moment of silence.
"Yeah. Can it happen again?" you asked with a smirk.
And then you laughed all the way back upstairs.
Jinyoung was eating breakfast the next morning and you decided to clean up after your dirty neighbor so that when Jinyoung came home for his lunch break, he could spend that time eating rather than cleaning up after him.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear, though.
Your neighbor came stumbling down the stairs in his pajamas, greeting you two as he came into the kitchen.
"Hey, guys," he said, then seemed to hesitate. "Were you guys— last night— Can you keep it down next time?"
Jinyoung's cheeks heated at that, almost burying his head in his bowl of cereal shamefully while you just snorted.
He'd acted all confident last night but it sounded just like him to be embarrassed immediately after.
"Sure," you lied. "Sorry about all the noise."
"Thanks," he said and then grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl.
You looked back at Jinyoung and laughed as he refused to make eye contact with you, his cheeks almost the same color as the last apple in the bowl. Embarrassment wasn't something you felt often, so you were more proud.
You and Jinyoung had become the noisy neighbors now.
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qorillas · 7 years ago
Text
tagged by @latinsimonez! this was really fun to do lmao thank u for taggin me
answer 30 questions + tag 10 people you’d like to know better
-nicknames: ......i hesitate to inform you all of this but my uncle started calling me ‘the squish’ when i was a baby because i was so fat and now everyone on my mom’s side of the family calls me that more than they call me by my actual name. also sometimes people call me ari but not that often and my dad’s side of the family calls me arielita
-star sign: sad pisces binch
-gender: i’m a girl but. idk i’ve kinda been very slightly questioning it a little just to make sure? i’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that yup i’m a girl tho so 
-MBTI type: mainly infp, probably like 15% enfp because i get really excited when i’m around groups of people i love and Lose All Sense Of Boundaries. does that qualify me as enfp? i get tired being around most people tho so idk
-height: 5′5.5″ and yes the half inch COUNTS
-time: 10:41pm
-birthday: march 1. when i was little i couldn’t pronounce 1 correctly like i said “much fust” so everyone thought i was saying march 4 tho lmao 
-favorite bands: there’s this band called gorillaz i really like idk if anyone following me has heard of it tho :/// also phoenix, vampire weekend, the lumineers, glass animals, purity ring, young the giant, maroon 5, the beatles. i would die for ezra koenig and one time he liked something i tweeted at him and i cried for 10 minutes and my roommate took a video and made fun of me
-favorite solo artists: stromae, damon albarn, shawn wasabi, ingrid michaelson, childish gambino, nicki minaj, sohn, kanye west, lil wayne. gorillaz should collaborate with stromae also like i think they’d be good together
-song stuck in my head: ......the mii channel song but where each pause is uncomfortably long. yes i hate myself 
-last movie I watched: wonder woman like three months ago?? ? i like never go to the movies which is actually kind of a shame because going to the movies is one of my favorite things to do ever i know it’s like not that wild but i always get so excited wow i love movies
-last show I watched: rick and morty like the pickle rick episode. someone save morty and summer please i fucking hate beth
-other blogs: @ratqueenofficial is my main! also i have an art blog @ratqueenarts but i like never actually post there so. and i have multiple urls about antigone and about half mexican murdoc hoarded lmao
-when I created my blog: april 6 of this year but i made my main on new year’s eve because my friend came over so we could relaunch.......a semi-popular meme archiving blog whose name i’m not allowed to actually say because mods are a secret.........but anyway my old main had been around since 2013 and i wanted to start fresh so yeah
-what I post about: that son of a gun sure do love those gorillaz. also i post my own mediocre art and make shitposts and memes because i find myself hilarious and i write headcanons and am starting to do fics. but yeah it’s all centered around grillz, and sometimes like 1% damo but never hewll because. i don’t really like him lmao. i think my most common tag is murdoc and i know he sucks but i would fucking die for him in a heartbeat
-last thing I googled: ..........mii channel hip hop remix on youtube and i’ve had it on loop and my roommate hates me but. it’s a fucking bop okay don’t judge me
-following: 939
-followers: 1,233
-favorite color: yellow but like a Very Specific Yellow like strong golden yellow that one might be able to argue is actually orange but Bitch It Is Fucking Yellow (here it is) like half of everything i own is this color which was fun at first but one day i walked out of the house when it was raining and realized i was wearing yellow boots, a yellow raincoat, a yellow beanie, a yellow backpack and was holding a yellow umbrella and it was at that point that i realized that i had a Problem. my friends make fun of me for it rip
-average hours of sleep: half of the week it’s like 4 and half of the week it’s like 14 because of the ol’ depresh so i’m not actually sure at all. probably like 7 if i absolutely had to pick a number
-lucky number: 3
-instruments: classical piano (and i guess keyboard by extension) but i can’t sightread for shit (i’m good at playing by ear tho!), general percussion like bells and xylophone and marimba, i did tenor drum in marching band for like one year but i’m pretty horrible at non-mallet percussion lmao. also i had a vuvuzela for like two years but my roommate confiscated it because “vuvuzelas are not to be played at 3 in the morning, ariel” and anyway i don’t think it really counts
-what I’m wearing: glasses, black skinny jeans, my black x men sweatshirt that has like pictures of the vintage comic panels on it and yes i got it from hot topic don’t judge me for that i was like 14, dark blue baseball cap that says “best dad ever” across the front but i’m wearing it backwards because i’m cool. i got it for father’s day so that i could match with my grandpa
-how many blankets i sleep with: generally like 2 or 3 but at this point they’re all crumpled up at the bottom of the bed anyway so mainly just the big comforter and a throw blanket over that if it’s really cold
-dream jobs: oh man uhh. i used to think i wanted to be like a genetics/evolutionary biology professor and do research on evolution or cancer or hiv/aids and teach at like ucsf or something. or like work for nasa as an astrobiologist, or maybe work as a vet for a zoo. but now i don’t think i wanna do that anymore? to be quite honest if i could be 100% guaranteed whatever job i wanted i think i’d want to be a showrunner for an animated show on cartoon network or adult swim, like not something just with storyboards or animation, but like actually involved in the writing of the show. i’d love to write for a tv show on cartoon network or something like the office or brooklyn 99 or even a story-based video game, or maybe like do something where i get to just joke around and be funny all the time like what the mcelroys or game grumps do but. i have No Idea how to go about doing that and honestly i think jobs like that just happen to people randomly so it’s not really like, a Secure Job Option To Pursue. but i really hope somehow i end up doing something like that. i just wanna do something where i can create something meaningful that i’m proud of and see people connecting with it and feeling happy and inspired and less alone because of it, and maybe liking it so much a fandom or something grows around it. i’d be so fucking happy if that happened. 
-dream trip: i really want to go to new york with my jewish grandparents and see where they grew up and all the places they lived so i can finally experience all the places i’ve heard so many stories about? same thing with my abuelitos like i wanna go to mexicali with them or mérida in the yucatán and just see where they came from and where all their stories happened and meet all the relatives that they left behind when they came to the united states. also i think going to like, denmark or england or germany would be really cool? my friend studied abroad in england this summer and her snapchat story was full of dogs and random cows and those are some good things. i would very much like to softly caress a gentle english cow they have beautiful eyes
-favourite food: kbbq? ? ?? Bitch I Love KBBQ. fuck now i want kbbq. also mangoes, and deli sandwiches from the deli by my temple, and jazz apples, and sugary coffee, and sweet corn tamales, and high mountain milk tea with taro qq but sharetea stopped selling taro qq and i’m still salty because of that. and raw lemons because i’m an inhuman monster. can you tell i’m hungry rip
-nationality: american (specifically born and raised californian even though i know that’s not really a nationality but i love california so much you guys im so glad it’s my home) edit: apparently people are puttin in their ethnicities too on this?? ? i’m half american jewish which is. basically white lmao and half mexican idk i look super white tho im so pale rip
i tag @two-chi @drugstore-soulboy @murdoctrinated @murdochub @ephemeralprince @funeralshawls @astronomutual @maccamc @loboluchia @helloitsbees @grimdarkmatt @gorillahz @hewlll and i know that’s more than 10 but this is my house also like. if i tagged u and we Don’t Actually Talk it’s because i see u on my dash a lot and we’re mutuals and i think you’re Super Cool But I Am Too Shy To Actually Talk To You But Yeah I Think You’re Really Cool 
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devils-lawboy · 7 years ago
Note
all the luxury asks
omg i love u i love talking abt myself but im puttin this under a readmore bc not everyone loves reading abt myself
bubble bath: do you have any routines before bedtime? like skin care, etc. what are they? yea i usually shower before bed + wash my face. i have a couple of topical acne treatments that i use and then i moisturize w either shea moisture anti-aging moisturizer (mostly cos thats the only shea moisture product they had at walgreens lol) or aveeno sensitive skin moisturizer dependin on how dry my skin's feelin :-)
champagne: what topic could you talk about for hours? uhhhh gender for sure, its like all i talk abt when im drunk its pretty funny... bullet journaling, sad indie music, astronomy...
crushed velvet: have you ever used your charm to get something you want? um i mean if sex counts......... i can't think of anything else tho rip
diamonds: how do you feel about excessively spending money? i dont like it but like i still do it bc i like Things... then i go to buy groceries and im like "shit i shouldnt spend all this money" its kind of irresponsible but whatever
faux fur: describe your wardrobe. gay athleisure from target/old navy with a few goodwill sweaters and a lot of denim button-ups mixed in. i own a few dresses but i only like one of them
glitter: describe someone special to you. one of my best friends ever who's actually on here but doesnt use her name so im not gonna do that... she's like 12 but she's also one of the most mature ppl i know in that she like.. gets shit done and its really impressive. she's absolutely gorgeous!!!!! she's one of the best chefs ive ever met. she's been there for me through some rough shit and i'm so grateful and i cant wait to see her when i get home!!!!!! basically i love her with all my heart.
gold: describe what you would call the most perfect meal. ok so like... pasta. light,clean. roasted red peppers, tomatoes, onions, spinach. maybe some chicken? a glass of wine for sure. i wanna feel full but not greasy after im done. then i'd go for a walk and eat some nondairy ice cream by a lake
jazz: name a song that resonates with you and your emotions. explain the reason why. ok um.... lately "self control" by frank ocean. its a really beautiful song and it sort of makes me cry bc im kind of the one w/ no self control and im a little sad but it's just so good
lace: what is something in your life completely different from last year? im out to basically all of my friends!!!!!!! as opposed to last year when i'd only come out to my bf (now ex) and he was like "mmmm ok but im still gonna see you as your assigned gender." so that's a really nice change :-)
lingerie: do you consider yourself a promiscuous person? maybe relative to me a few years ago but like i really havent hooked up w/ very many people? and im pretty cautious with my hookups too lol
lipstick: do you enjoy talking to strangers? yeah generally!!!
pearls: what's something about your personality that surprises others? ppl are usually surprised at the fact that i was homeschooled through p much my entire grade school career.
penthouse: what would you consider your dream home? describe it. i think maybe an apartment? honestly the cliche tumblr apartment would be nice; not a lot of stuff, some pink art on the walls, big windows w a view of a park or a lake or smthn?  
perfume: if you could make your own signature fragrance, what would it smell like? something masculine for sure. woodsy, crisp, fresh.
robe: how do you prepare for an evening alone with a loved one/date? um i'll usually shower + shave, do my makeup, pick out some cute undies, and listen to some cute sappy love songs while i wait to meet up w/ them
roses: If it had to be winter, autumn, spring or summer for the rest of your life, which would you choose? summer!! i wanna move somewhere out west where it's warm all the time
satin: what is your most favorite article of clothing? im gonna tell u my fave outfit lately; it's these sportsy track pants that are super soft and cozy, a black cropped tank top, denim jacket, platform sneakers, sunglasses. it makes me feel rly cool and gay :-)  
sheet mask: what's your favorite lazy activity? i just got into stardew valley and i love it so much!!!!!!!!
silk: do you have more inner or outer beauty? wow that got deep but probs outer tbqh
silver: do you have any obscure hobbies? what are they? i play interactive fiction! i think thats probs the most obscure tho.
sparkling water: what are your top three songs for the summer? "postcard radio" by froth, "supercut" by lorde, and "all my heroes" by bleachers
wine: what kind of drunk are you (happy/affectionate, angry, sad, fun/wild)? if you don't drink, what kind do you think you WOULD be? omg im a gay affectionate drunk i get so complimentary and i just want to hold ppls hands and give them hugs and tell them they are cute and i love them
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poutypanic · 8 years ago
Text
The First Date
You, Jesse and Hanzo go on your first date! Fic is PG-13. 
Link for AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10464945/chapters/23570373
Hanzo and Jesse have left it up to you to decide where you’d be going on your first date. Being a person who is no good at making decisions, this was more pressure than actually being asked out on the date itself. You are currently sitting at home in your own apartment watching your phone as the notifications go off one after the other. Being in a group chat with the two of them is a trip:
———————————-
Jesse: where
Jesse: do
Jesse: u
Jesse: wnana
Jesse: go!
Hanzo: Stop spamming.
Hanzo: Let her think, smh.
Jesse: im right here if u wanna fight me
You: IDK
You: I’m really down for whatever!
Hanzo: Where do you like to go during your free time?
You: My room?
Hanzo: -_-
Jesse: im calling u
————————————–
And he does, less than a couple of seconds after you had received that text. You stare at the screen with a shit-eating grin while it’s ringing, and let it go to voice mail.
—————————————
Jesse: answer ya damn phone plz
Hanzo: Don’t cuss at her.
Jesse: answer ya darn* phone plz
Jesse: also fuck u han
Hanzo: Hmmm. Interesting for a person who just asked me to make dinner.
You: Somebodys bout to starve!
You: Also sorry! I had lost my phone very suddenly :/  
——————————————
Your phone starts to ring again, and you wait until the last possible moment to answer it. You don’t even have to say a thing; Jesse just starts going off in your ear, “Hey, now listen! I’ma count teh’ three, and when I count teh’ three your’ gonna say the first place that comes to mind alright?”
You let out a long, dramatic, heavy sigh, making sure to blow air into the phone as much as possible.  
Jesse laughs, “Alright here we go! One! Two! Three-“
“Zoo.”
“Ah shit, Han! We goin’ to the zoo!”
“No, no, no wait! Let’s try that again!”
Jesse hangs up the phone.
———————————-
Jesse: no take backs  
Hanzo: I am excited! I’ve never been to the zoo!
You: We shouldn’t go to the zoo that was stupid
Jesse: nu uh! we going!
Hanzo: Why is it stupid? Now I really want to go!
Jesse: pick u up on friday!!! wear zoo clothes!!!!
You: WTF are zoo clothes
Hanzo: What she said.
Jesse: clothes u wear to the zoo???
Hanzo: Hmmm true.
You: Whatever! Fine! I guess we’re going to the zoo
Jesse: u bet ur ass
Jesse: shit
Jesse: butt*  
Hanzo: We’ll pick you up around 9am. Is that okay with you?
You: Pfff yeah.
Jesse: see ya friday!
—————  
Friday rolls around, and you guys go to the zoo. It’s the perfect day for it; the sun is out, and it’s partially cloudy. There’s a light cool breeze that feels amazing on the skin. After thinking about it, you’ve actually come around to the spontaneous idea that Jesse had to coax out of you. You guys take your time at each exhibit. The zoo isn’t very crowded at all, and nobody cares that you guys take nearly thirty minutes at each. Hanzo does dramatic readings of the facts on each of the placards, putting on what he likes to call his “tour guide voice”.
When you guys get to the Red Fox enclosure you and Jesse listen while Hanzo reads. At the end, Jesse raises his hand, “Um excuse me, Mr. Shimada? May I ask a question.”
“All questions are welcome, Mr. McCree.”
Jesse points to the cage, “Why are they called Red Foxes?”
You can see Hanzo try and suppress a laugh, and you try to suppress yours as well. Feigning like you, too, would like to know why Red Foxes are named Red Foxes. Hanzo is trying to remain in character, “Mr. McCree, if you can do me a favor and look at the animal?”
“Mhmm, yes.”  
“The fox has red fur.”
Jesse places his hand on his chin and nods his head up and down, “Uh huh.”
“So it is called the Red Fox because well; it has red fur.”
You can’t keep up the act anymore. Hanzo says that last line with such conviction and a matter of fact tone that you are doubled over, and clutching your stomach laughing. Jesse refuses to give up the act. He looks down at you, his cowboy hat casting a shadow over his face.
“Darlin’, what’s so funny? I don’t understand.”
Hanzo keeps it up as well, “Sir? The Red fox. Red is a color. The color of the foxes fur is red. Therefore, Red Fox.”  
You’re still doubled over wheezing. A small crowd has actually started to stare, thinking that Hanzo is an actual expert and tour guide. They believe that Hanzo, a man who is wearing unbelievably tight joggers and a navy blue tee shirt that says, “Choose Cremation. You Urned it,” is a god damn professional, articulately explaining to a cowboy why a Red Fox is called a Red fox. Jesse sees the curious onlookers and decides that maybe it’s time to end the charade, “Ah, I get it now, and ya’ know what? That’s a pretty dumb fuckin’ fact.”
Jesse throws an arm around your still shaking shoulders, tosses his other one around Hanzo’s, and you guys all walk away from the confused onlookers. Eventually, after marveling at the big cats for nearly an hour, you guys make it into the reptile house. Here is where you figure out that Jesse really doesn’t like spiders and that Hanzo couldn’t care less. You do care a little bit, but the thick plexiglass between you and the arachnids is enough to keep you from being irrational like Jesse is being.
“Can y’all stop puttin’ your faces so damn close to the glass?”
You smile coyly and rest your cheek against the glass, Hanzo follows suit and places his cheek against the glass as well, “Take a picture, Jesse.”
Jesse crosses his arms and pouts, “Y’all think your’ funny huh?”
You grab your phone out of your pocket and turn on the camera, “Guess we’ll just have to take a selfie.”
The spider that is in the little glass case is clinging to the other side, showing off its belly and legs. Perfect for the photo op. You and Hanzo point to it and smile nice and big for the camera, while you hold your phone in your other and snap a photo.
Hanzo says, “Make sure to send that to me in the group chat.”
Jesse is glaring at Hanzo, when you notice one of the workers is trying to get any of the customer to listen to what she has to say about whatever it is she is presenting, but she’s getting no takers. You walk towards her and look into the large, deep, open plexiglass tub that she is standing next to. Your eyes widen and you start to cackle. Oh, this is gonna be good!
“Hey Han! Jesse! Come here!”
You watch closely has they look into the glass enclosure. Hanzo now has the biggest smile, and Jesse takes one glance and literally runs off about twelve feet.
The workers face lights up, “Hello! Would you guys like to hear about this tarantula?”
The look that Hanzo gives her almost looks like he might abandon the two of you and take her out on a date; he is so happy.  
“I would absolutely love to hear about this tarantula!”
The woman practically dances, because she is delighted to finally have people who want to listen to her. She clasps her hands together and starts to spew off all of the knowledge she’s got on the spider. Hanzo listens and has questions for her, and she is able to answer everything. Meanwhile, Jesse is in the background huffing and making off-handed comments like, “Interesting” and “Wow, real fascinatin’.” When the spider starts to stretch its legs and move around, you lean in farther to get a better look.
“Hey! Sugar? Maybe don’t do that! That thing is gonna get your face.”
The tarantula handler finally turns her attention to Jesse, “Oh no! Honduran Curly Hairs are docile tarantulas. Also! Tarantulas can’t jump that far. A fall from where her face is at to the bottom would actually seriously hurt the curly.”
Jesse does his best at being polite, “Thanks for the knowledge ma’am.”
At this point, Hanzo is practically inside of the enclosure, and you’ve reached your limit. Any closer, and you’d be pushing your comfort zone. The woman clasps her hands together, “I am so sorry! I haven’t asked for your names yet!”
You both introduce yourselves and take turns shaking her hand, “Hanzo! Seeing as you seem to be the most interested, would you like to hold her?”  
Jesse claps his hands together, “Han! You put that spider in your hands, and we are breakin’ up!”  
Hanzo puts his hands together, palms up and lowers them into the enclosure; “It’s been nice knowing you, Jesse.”
Jesse is still squirming, but it seems this is something he just has to see. He gets just close enough to be able to look in. He’s standing right behind you, looking over your shoulder, and he’s got two nervous handfuls of the back of your shirt. You reach back and pat his thigh, “There, there. It’ll be alright!”
The woman first coaxes the tarantula into her open palm using what looks to be a soft bristled paint brush. It’s funny watching her gently nudge the brush against the creatures big furry butt. It slowly crawls into her hand, and you can physically feel Jesse tremble. You look back at him, “Jesse, just one of your hands are at least two times bigger than this tarantula is. This tarantula can’t do shit to you.”
“Darlin, I ain’t tryna say you’re not right, but that doesn’t keep the little critter from being real creepy.”
Hanzo isn’t paying any attention to the two of you. He is concentrating on the spider that is now crawling into his welcoming hands. It stays there, cradled, its two front legs feeling along the tips of his fingers. Hanzo is still smiling, “Thank you for letting me hold her.”
The woman continues to light up, “Are you kidding me? You are very welcome. I’m so happy you guys took time out of your day to hang out with me and listen to me ramble about this. Tarantulas are my passion.”
After a couple more tarantula facts, Hanzo places the creature back down into its habitat, and you guys make Jesse very happy by deciding it’s time to move on. The three of you continue to stay close to each other as you visit the rest of the exhibits. When you’ve officially seen them all, you guys go back to gawk at each of your favorites. When hunger strikes, you guys stop at a little cart that specializes in soft tacos. You watch in amazement as Hanzo orders six and downs them all. You guys don’t leave the zoo until you are forced to, because it’s closing time. The three of you leave feeling the good kind of tired, all having found a new favorite place to be.
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inventresses · 7 years ago
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moving to the country, gonna eat me a lot of peaches
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In San Diego
Car insurance and crash?
ok well last night it was rainy and i was going down a street i tryed to stop and take a turn but i lost control and went over the curb scraped the left front of my car pretty bad. the damage was my front bumper is pretty much destroyed, the mirror broke off, wrecked the front left tire, and a huge long dent on the front left top of the car just before reaching the front hood and also a hole near the door and now i cant open the front door all the way. after i had to change the tire and i drove home. this was my first crash involving car insurance and im 17. will i still be able to drive if the car insurance covers it? i really dont know whats about to happen.""
How much on average does a 34'-36' sailboat cost? What about insurance rates roughly?
How much on average does a 34'-36' sailboat cost? What about insurance rates roughly?
""If you had to guess, do you think my insurance will be high?
i am an 18 years old male. i have been driving for close to two years and i had one speeding ticket that i took to court and they let me off. i got no points. i drive a 2000 mercury cougar and with liability coverage it costs $90 a month. im on my moms policy. im want to get a 2005 chevy monte carlo lt that im gonna have to get full coverage on because im financing. i am also gonna be on my moms insurance. do you think my premium is gonna increase by alot? thank you. and please just give me estimates and dont tell me to call the insurance company. i just want ballpark estimates and answers. thank you :)
dbs car insurance quotes
dbs car insurance quotes
Insurance for additional drivers has shot up?
I'm 16 and looking forward to buying my first car, so a few weeks ago i saw that if i was the additional driver on my dad's policy it would only cost around 400. However i have tried a few recently and they all have shot up to 1500+!!!!! Does anyone know why? It's ridicuolous how much they are trying to charge me for first years insurance.""
Cheap Auto Insurance for someone under 21?
The lowest auto insurance rates I can find wants me to pay like 340 a month I want to know if someone knows of a auto insurance that has a monthly fee of 200 at the most high or low deductibles do not matter buut there has to be a deductible anyone know a auto insurance that can offer me this Thanks
2003 Mustang GT insurance cost?
I am looking at a 2003 Mustang GT with 93k miles on it. I am a 16 year old boy and we are looking to add this to my parent's current policy. I have good grades, we will have multiple cars and home insurance with the same company. Any idea on an approximate cost per month for insurance on this car?""
Does anyone know the penalty for a motorist not having auto insurance in Texas?
The auto is insured, and the driver is authorized to drive it. Got speeding ticket and showed proof of insurance for auto. Went to get deferred adjudication and included copy of insurance card where authorized user but now being asked for insurance on driver.""
Do porches have the most insurance rate?
Do porches have the most insurance rate?
What is the CHEAPEST car insurance for a21 year old?
Im buy a car and i would like to no if anybody no what, would my insurances be""
Cheap car insurance for 17 year old? ?
I've just passed my driving test and was looking to get insured on my mums 1.6l Audi 80. So I went onto some comparison web sites and put my mum as main driver and me as the named driver and I was getting quotes of around 1900 (Fully comp). So I thought I would see what it would cost if my mum got the likes of a corsa or a fiesta or something. I changed the car details on the website and the quotes came out at 3000 + (Fully comp). I just don't understand how an Audi can be considerably cheaper than a corsa's and fiestas etc. Any explaination on why this is would be much appreciated. Also my mum really is the main driver as she will be using it for work and shopping. I will only be driving at weekends really.
What are the variables included in the cost of car insurance?
What are the BASIC variables that are included in any car insurance? i.e...car color, car make, type of car, horsepower, year, age of driver, ethnicity...? Which things do they look at car wise/and driver wise that affect how much insurance you end up paying in the end? and does the speed of the car effect the cost greatly?""
Any advise on life insurance?
term life insurance and permanent insurance which is good and what are the pros and cons?
What is the difference between term and whole life insurance?
What is the difference between term and whole life insurance? When is it better to use one versus the other?
Insurance for 17 year old?
i was just wondering the cost of insurance when i turn 17 next year. my parents are paying around 800 each car on there policy. so when i get added to there policy how much approximately will it cost me?
Insurance for couples therapy ?
Does anyone know how to get insurance to help pay for relationship counseling?
What is the cheapest car insurance?
What is the cheapest car insurance?
Car insurance lapsed? opposing insurance sends letter saying im liable.?
Long story short my insurance lapsed. I got into a car accident where i was backing out of a driveway and as i shifted the car into drive i was backed into my side driver door by ...show more
Insurance rate?
Hi, in the summer i'll be driving soon. Can anybody tell me how much I would have to pay to be insured for 6 months by Farmers? I'm 17, and I'm not eligible for the Good Student discount. I heard that my insurance rate would be cheaper if my parents add me to their policy. I'll probably be driving a 1990-1997 Mazda Miata MX-5. Also, what's a good, cheap auto insurance company do you guys recommend for teenagers?""
Is medical insurance enough if you have a catastrophic health problem?
Woolhandler and her colleagues surveyed a random sample of 2,314 people who filed for bankruptcy in early 2007, looked at their court records, and then interviewed more than 1,000 of them. Health.com: Expert advice on getting health insurance and affordable care for chronic pain They concluded that 62.1 percent of the bankruptcies were medically related because the individuals either had more than $5,000 (or 10 percent of their pretax income) in medical bills, mortgaged their home to pay for medical bills, or lost significant income due to an illness. On average, medically bankrupt families had $17,943 in out-of-pocket expenses, including $26,971 for those who lacked insurance and $17,749 who had insurance at some point. Overall, three-quarters of the people with a medically-related bankruptcy had health insurance, they say. That was actually the predominant problem in patients in our study -- 78 percent of them had health insurance, but many of them were bankrupted anyway because there were gaps in their coverage like co-payments and deductibles and uncovered services, says Woolhandler. Other people had private insurance but got so sick that they lost their job and lost their insurance.""
Who is California Insurance Comany?
MY BOSS WAS IN AN ACCIDENT RECENTLY, WHEN THE INFORMATION WAS EXCHANGED, THE OTHER PARTY WROTE DOWN CALIFORNIA AUTO INSURANCE COMPANY AND A POLICY #, NO PHONE NUMBER, HER NAME, MAKE OF VEHICLE, MODEL AND VIN#. HOW CAN I FIND OUT THE PHONE NUMBER WITH THIS INFO. ONLY?""
I need a list of car insurance companies in the usa?
I need a list of all (or as many as possible) car insurance companies in the united states. I need the names and phone numbers and more info on them if possible. Thanks !
How much does getting insurance on a car cost?
im 17 and me and my mom are trying to get the CHEAPEST car insurance possible !! how much does it cost? what company?? thanks for your help
""Teenager first car, first insurance questions I live in the UK?
My step daughter has a car registered in her name at her home address. She wants her father who lives at a different address to add her to his insurance as the second driver. The premium will be far cheaper. But her father will not drive the car. I think its known as 'Fronting'. I want to know for this kind of insurance would her father have to be the registered owner and would the car have to be registered at his address? As a second driver will she be able to drive anywhere in the country and still be covered? If she gets a speeding ticket and he is the registered owner who will get the points and/or fine?
Cheapest florida car insurance?
i only want liability and im looking for really cheap car insurance please help
Average cost for medical exams?
Just curious about the 'average' cost of my upcoming medical exams: Sinus CT Scan, A VNG exam and VEMP exam...thanks!""
Car insurance help in NC?
If your insurance is canceled will I have to pay to get the tag legal again,if so how much.Thanks in advance :)""
Insurance for unregistered cars?
I have a few unregistered cars in a garage- one is a show car that I trailer to shows, 2 are just cars I love but I dont drive, and 1 is a race car I occaisonally race. These cars are covered by insurance when I trailer them (add-on policy to trailer insurance), and the race car is covered when i race it (Race insurance with the group I work with)... however, I realize none of them are insured while they sit in my garage against damage or theft. What kind of insurance do I get just to protect these cars while they are sitting on my property? Thanks!""
Motorcycle Insurance cost in Ontario?
I know it depends on a lot so I'll give you as much info as possible: age: 18 bike: honda cbr125r driving(car) record: spotless -the bike will be kept in my house overnight, and I'll only be using inner city (for work, school, social..) So guys I just need a rough estimate, doesn't have to be exact. how much would it cost be per year? Also, is insurance less if you're female like with car insurance? thanks for any help!""
dbs car insurance quotes
dbs car insurance quotes
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-insurance-expire-automatically-james-benson/"
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jokah128-blog · 6 years ago
Text
Lows And High
Damn. 25. Im baqq to life. Tryin 2 find myself... Yea im looking alright nd da moneysz gettin nice. Lookin lik i caught a lick. Tell dem niqqasz dey kan katch me lookin lik da 6. God what do dese niqqasz want from me? Lik i aint stunt for more den 56 nightsz... Lik i say i was gonna do it, right? Lik i said i wasz gonna look at it like dice. Shyt got different sidesz... U catch ur lowsz nd u catch ur highsz. One Two Three.. Four five six... I be shmokin lik a kite... Tryin to elevate my hieght. Tryna to make it out disz life we kall for to survive, alive. I wanna be on my timeline jumpin skyscraper hieghtsz, parachuting light. Do it inda bright of day or inda darkest of night. Look down while my adrenaline rushesz. I brush off all da dirt i pick up while im falling. Smile at da ground nd feel my face hit da cloudsz. From up here u kant hear a sound. From dese cloudsz u kant kill my vibe. Ima ride out till i die... Land and ima stand on my ten toesz... Fuq dese niqqasz nd hoesz dat think they know wat itsz lik to feel alone... Fallin so far i feel lik a star... Alone inda night sky... Who gona see me land inda ocean? Who gonna clear up my emotionsz nd my mind wen im feelin da commotionsz dont fit w. My notion?. Whose gonna make a wish? Ima keep praying and dreaming. Extinguish all my demonsz laughin at me and harrassing me to burn with dem ina cell in hell. Tell dem keep tryin. I might be diein inside nd out but i kno wat im about. I kno a tree still makesz a sound wen it fallsz nd no1sz around... I know dat a niqqa got one life to live... A lot of time to think... Pour up a drink... Yolo... Solo or with da brosz nd sistasz... Take a quick picture... How far back wasz dat? How hard wasz it at dat time? Did we krack? Did we crap out at da time? How much money did we have at dat time? How much energy did we have at dat time? Wat wasz it wasted on? Did we walk it or run it? Are we still gettin right at disz time? Or did we already win dat fight? Watsz left? Whatsz best for disz life? Itsz been yearsz how do we go baqq in time? So i kan warn myself we gonna go thru hard timesz but keep grinding, keep smiling, keep styling... Keep writing... Stay positive... Dont quit... Keep pushing... Find da cluesz in ur own shoesz... Dont judge a book by itsz cover... Keep urself covered... Dey gonna throw hate.. Not every1sz a lover... Dey wont appreciate no matter how much u give nd dey take... Everything isz real until u find out itsz fake... Take a break... Hold up... Crack da safe... Look away... Im puttin in my code watsz it to u? Watsz da truth isz dat im outta here.... U kan either stay there or advance... Letsz dance... Letsz take it to France... My handsz get shakey wen i start to think about it. Seprate statementsz. 5 bank accountsz equal paymentsz? Each with itsz own savingsz... Write my will.... I... Will... U kan go have fun with dat pill nd go on dat hill... Hope u got enough for a meal... Disz aint a scene itsz a god damnsz armsz race.... Disz shyt numbsz u lik cocaine... Bare w. Da pain nd be brave... Save the sorrow for tomorrow... Borrow w.e time u have left nd do your best... Stress comesz w. Living... Just picture it gettin bigger.... Figure out wat u kan do to get there.... Play fair.... Remember momma sayin dont go there.... Remember poppa sayin be patient.... Have patience... Nd i remember raising my brother nd sister.... We are all brothersz and sistersz... We should be raising each other right... B4 it bitesz baqq... B4 itsz really lik dat... Stop slacking... Get right nd do watchu gotta do... For me... Nd you.... Lookin at a mirror lik yea... Datsz u... Wat can we do?.... Move on to da next level... Go harder den metal... Thingsz will get better... Worry not for thisz isz not forever... Watch your behavior nd those around u who say they are saviorsz...
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