#you know we���re both ridiculously rich right?

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future Part II, The Novel by Craig Shaw Gardner: Thoughts, commentary, and general ramblings

Part 1: An Interesting Start

About a year ago, I picked up a copy of the ridiculous, off-the-walls novelization of the first Back to the Future and had a thoroughly enjoyable time, which I documented in a series of posts (you can check out here).

Well, guess who got her hands on the Part II novel? And while it's not nearly as wild as the one written by George Gipe, the few chapters I've read have been fun, so I decided to make posts to go along as I read. Let's jump right in.

• The book begins with a recap of the major events of the first movie, then catches up with Marty on the morning he wakes up to find that his life is now very different. As Marty thinks about the changes in his parents, he recalls the versions of them he had grown up knowing. There’s description of what a pushover George was, followed by this: “And his mother had reacted to all of this by quietly stepping back from life. she had also started drinking more than she should. They had both been good parents, had raised Marty and his brother and sister the best they could, but still…”

Then the thoughts about his parents just end there. And there’s something so sad about the little reflection and the way it trails off and leaves things unsaid. Dysfunctional as they were, they had been good parents. They had tried their best. But still…

Still, it wasn’t the greatest environment to grow up in. Still, it was difficult. Still, there was brokenness. I cry.

• As Marty takes in all the new things in his life, he finds himself wishing that Doc had waited a bit before taking off into the future. “The way all these things had changed—Marty thought they were great and all, but still—if you looked at it a certain way, all this change could be a little scary.”

THANK YOU, BOOK. Yes! All these changes ARE scary, and there’s no way a kid could be expected to just shrug and carry on when the very foundation of his life has been altered so dramatically but he doesn’t remember any of it and now he’s a stranger in his own life with no memories of growing up with these significantly well-adjusted versions of his parents and even though things are technically better how can he not miss the way things used to be and the parents who raised him and honestly Doc could have waited a day or two before jetting off into the future ya know?

Just gonna drop this here

Eric Stoltz wasn't the right fit for Marty, but he was right about this. He Got It.

Yeah, so ANYWAY

• Marty is so happy to see Jennifer that he has to “keep himself from jumping up and down.” Marty’s so cute. Lil’ jumping bean guy. Golden Retriever of a boy.

• When Doc is rifling through the trash for stuff he can throw into the Mr. Fusion, it refers to the banana peel (twice!) as “banana skin.” Which is. An interesting choice.

• As Doc backs the car out into the road, it’s mentioned that Marty lives on a street with a dead end. Idk why this tiny little tidbit is intriguing to me but it is.  

• After they arrive in 2015 Doc responds to Marty’s questions of if he’s a rich rockstar by saying maybe this whole thing was a mistake and he should just take Marty right back home. Which, to me, is the equivalent of a flustered parent doing the whole, “If you don’t behave, I am going to turn this car around,” thing. Very funny. Marty scrambles to apologize because he Does Not want to go home.

• Little confused about the clothes Marty is described as wearing when he arrives in the future. I mean, since the opening scene to part II is just a re-shoot of the ending scene in the first movie, we know Book Marty is also wearing those same clothes: checkered shirt and red tee underneath, yes? Well, as Book Marty gets changed into his future clothes, he’s described as wearing a purple t-shirt. Purple??

I’m sorry, that is not purple. What happened here? Didn’t the guy writing this novel know that Marty’s character color is red? He wears so much red. How did this shirt being described as purple make it into the book?

• Also!

I feel like the entirety of the first two movies can be summed up with those two sentences.

• I’m glad the movie went with Marlene trying to break Jr. out of jail and ending up in prison instead of the horribly depressing route the book (and script its based on) mentions. Good move.

• Intrigued by a bit where Marty is thinking about skateboarding and it's mentioned that he skateboarded “once or twice during the week he had spent in the 1950s.” I’m sorry?  Once or twice?? Mr. Gardner, I don’t know about you, but we see Marty skateboard one whole time in 1955, which is not a difficult number to keep track of. Are you trying to plant a headcanon in my noggin’ in which Marty might have snuck in another round of skateboarding for funsies in 1955? Because if so, you’ve succeeded.

And that's it for now. Gonna go ponder the idea of Marty doing some Secret, Forbidden Skateboading during some downtime in 1955. Perhaps I'll even picture him wearing a purple t-shirt.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s5e21 two minutes to midnight (w. sera gamble)

what is this, nickelodeon? neon green slime, come on.

DEAN You can't do this.

SAM That's the consensus.

DEAN All right. Awesome. Then, end of discussion.

what a way to deflect. "that's the consensus"

CASTIEL You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.

good talk, bro

DR. GREEN You mean my brothers. What they did to my brothers. No. The only reasonable thing to do here is to...take it out of their healthy young asses.

i... what lol

both sam and dean's hair looks weird. dean's too dark, sam's is... sitting funny and looking different. maybe just funky lighting

PESTILENCE So, you've got to wonder why God pours all his love into something so messy... and weak. It's ridiculous.

i mean, i don't think god is pouring anything at the moment

SAM Did you kiss him?

DEAN Sam!

SAM Just wondering.

cute. totally could have dropped it there. but i guess they hadn't made something awkward and embarrassing in a while, quota to fill

CROWLEY You kill demons. Gigantor over there has a temper issue about it.

things you thought were just fanon. crowley's got a bit of a complex

SAM You, Bobby, Cas ... I'm the least of any of you.

DEAN Oh, Sam.

SAM No, it's true. It is. But ... I'm also all we got.

just the frank and earnest belief that he's not good. oof.

CROWLEY You two are lucky you have your looks. Your demon lover, Brady? 

just read a fic like that lol

this interlude introducing big d death, really featuring the song. they haven't used much of the classic rock persuasion this season. some interesting tidbits about the o, death song

(wiki)

CW senior VP and creative executive Chris Donovan, decided that using the old spiritual "O Death" (heard in "Brother Where Art Thou") fit well with the themes of Season 5. He contacted Jennifer Titus, a well-known name around the CW, about singing the song. She recorded a preview of the song on her iPhone and sent it to him.

Donovan was extremely impressed, and upon a slight re-write of the lyrics to fit the show better, Titus came into the studio and recorded the official version. CW Staff members recorded the humming heard in the song, and Leonard Richardson, the executive in charge of music on the CW, mixed the track. Source.

i'm not surprised but also side eye at crowley "fixing" bobby

DEAN God? You'll reap God?

DEATH Oh, yes. God will die, too, Dean.

DEAN Well, this is way above my pay grade.

DEATH Just a bit.

liked this conversation and turn of events

the umbrella academy s3 julian richings as chet rodo

DEAN What do you think Death does to people who lie to his face?

BOBBY Nothing good.

DEAN Yeah.

BOBBY What'd you say?

DEAN That I was cool with Sam driving the bus on the whole Lucifer plan.

so i hate to say it, but man sometimes i think they're asking jim beaver more than he can deliver with bobby. like he was so clearly trying to have some sort of revelation in the warehouse when sam was evacuating the humans, but it was so. over the top. and still not really clear was his deal was. it was strange. but things often feel sort of forced with him and this character, to me.

BOBBY So I got to ask, Dean. What exactly are you afraid of? Losing? Or losing your brother?

he only went to hell already to save sam, what kind of question is that bobby :p i know this was just for the show's sake and i hate to bring reality into it but anyone is gonna be freaked out about their sibling killing themselves even if it's for the greater good.

sidenote i also appreciate that the captions on netflix use Cass for cas, because that is totally how they pronounce it and along with my pronunciation surprises over castiel and alastair i also was not expecting cas to be said like that. cas would with regular english rules be ending in a more z sound! don't be afraid of the more feminine spelling lol

[starseedfxofficial]

The CPI Tango and Reinforcement Learning: Uncovering Hidden Forex Strategies That Pack a Punch Imagine trying to predict Forex market moves using an unreliable GPS—one that keeps whispering, “Recalculating” right when you're at a critical trading junction. That’s kind of how the Consumer Price Index (CPI) feels sometimes. It’s this lovely number that tells us how prices are changing, but in the Forex world, it's not always as straightforward as following a blue arrow to riches. Add to that a nifty sprinkle of AI—specifically reinforcement learning models—and we’re suddenly dancing a whole new kind of tango. The kind of tango where you both lead and follow, but only if you know when to step to the music. Let’s break this down, shall we? Why the CPI Consumer Price Index Is More Than Just a Fancy Statistic The CPI is like that friend who always tells you about the expensive brunches they’ve had. It measures the average change over time in prices paid by consumers, reflecting the cost of living. The magic (or drama) happens because it’s a big player in how traders evaluate inflation—and boy, inflation is like the ultimate buzzkill in any market party. But here’s where it gets a bit more intricate. Not all traders look at CPI the same way. Many see CPI as just a quick glimpse of what's happening with inflation, but the insider secret is this: you’ve got to look at CPI along with central bank behavior, the employment rate, and a few indicators that might just seem trivial to the average Joe. For example, understanding core CPI (which excludes volatile items like food and energy) is like getting that hidden backdoor pass—it tells you the story without the noise. Most traders see CPI, think 'inflation,' and then either panic-buy or panic-sell. But the elite few know there’s a window of opportunity between the release of this data and market reactions. Reinforcement learning can step in here—and not just any reinforcement learning model, but the ones designed to adapt like chameleons to the shifting tides of sentiment and economic surprise. Forget mere intuition; think AI ninja moves. The Learning Machine: Reinforcement Learning Models and Forex Picture a trader who just took 1,000 losses in a row but learned something new from each one (other than just swearing profusely). That’s reinforcement learning in action—a machine learning approach where algorithms learn by interacting with an environment, making decisions, and receiving feedback. Basically, AI plays “trader” and learns to get better with each virtual punch it receives. When combined with CPI data, reinforcement learning models can dig through the patterns and predict behaviors that even seasoned traders might overlook. Imagine your AI system deciding that the dollar is about to plummet because CPI data shows higher inflation, but more importantly, the Federal Reserve has been acting skittish. That’s where these models outdo humans; they’re unemotional, analytical, and tireless—just like that kid at the arcade who spent all day mastering a dance game. AI dances better because it never worries about how ridiculous it looks while it’s learning. The interesting twist? These reinforcement learning systems aren’t static. They’re not set-it-and-forget-it. Much like the CPI's fickle dance, reinforcement learning algorithms need re-training and adjusting as market conditions evolve. It’s like having a dance coach who’s also a choreographer, altering the steps as soon as the music’s rhythm changes. Why Most Traders Get It Wrong (And How to Fix It) A big mistake? Too many traders see CPI as a singular, isolated metric. They forget it’s just one thread in the tapestry of market dynamics. It's like trying to judge a book by the amount of coffee stains on the cover (which, in fairness, might indicate quality reading, but still). The pro tip here is to use CPI as a piece of a bigger puzzle—pair it with producer price indexes (PPI), employment data, and, critically, insights from reinforcement learning models. You know what most traders forget? The market is all about managing the unexpected. Traders look at CPI and make decisions as if the rest of the market is watching the same soap opera in the same way. The secret is this: understanding the diversity of reactions—which is where reinforcement learning models thrive. They’re able to evaluate historical CPI data, notice how interest rate expectations changed, and even take into account geopolitical contexts. If CPI shows a jump, the smart trader doesn't immediately place an order—they pause, run through their models, and often watch how the early birds react before deciding if they should be following or fading. The Secret Sauce: Integrating CPI with Machine Learning for Better Decisions Here's where things get interesting. Combining CPI insights with reinforcement learning is like having both the recipe and the perfect chef. CPI provides the key ingredients—economic health indicators—while reinforcement learning acts like the master chef, adjusting the dish based on evolving tastes and available ingredients. Let's talk tactical advantages. For example, when CPI data is released, traditional traders might either sit out waiting for volatility to calm or dive straight into positions, riding the waves. But with reinforcement learning models, the approach is different: the model will analyze initial moves, observe liquidity shifts, factor in previous CPI reactions, and suggest strategic entries and exits. It’s playing chess while others are playing checkers. Game-Changing Idea: Predict Market Moves with the CPI Surprise Indicator Want to know something most traders miss? The so-called "CPI Surprise." It’s not an official indicator, but more of a concept that smart money follows closely. If the CPI comes in much higher or lower than expected, the market typically overreacts (we’re talking about panic buys or exaggerated sells). A reinforcement learning model can quantify these overreactions and find the best entry points once the knee-jerk reactions stabilize. It’s essentially sniffing out the chaos and figuring out exactly when traders are tripping over their own feet. Take, for instance, the case study of August 2023, where CPI numbers came in above expectations in the US. The dollar initially surged, but within 24 hours, it corrected because the real read-through was that the Federal Reserve wouldn’t change their dovish stance so dramatically over a single data point. Traders using reinforcement learning algorithms were able to fade that initial spike with impressive precision—the models understood that human traders were, once again, overreacting. Hidden Patterns That Drive the Market Beyond CPI and reinforcement learning, it's important to understand the nuance of hidden market cycles. These models uncover patterns of seasonality—like how CPI releases before year-end tend to produce heightened volatility thanks to liquidity issues or impending fiscal decisions. Spotting these trends isn’t easy. It requires both data and guts, or as we call it, having AI doing the dirty work while you sip on your favorite coffee and make far fewer manual trades. Another hidden gem lies in coupling CPI releases with PMI data. PMI’s forward-looking nature helps predict CPI trends, making it an ideal complementary indicator. Reinforcement learning models that synthesize PMI and CPI have been found to be more effective in predicting longer-term forex trends—kind of like seeing the storm clouds gathering long before the rain hits. Wrapping It Up with Actionable Insight The takeaway? Don’t be that trader who hits the 'buy' button just because CPI looks good—markets are more nuanced than that. The real magic happens when you understand what CPI means, how the central bank might respond, and what the market expects versus what actually happens. And, of course, leveraging reinforcement learning models to parse through the noise helps you trade like a data-driven machine rather than a frantic human. Don’t just watch the CPI dance—join in, with a trained AI partner leading the way, making sure you’re always in rhythm, and never the one left awkwardly shuffling your feet when the music changes. For more on exclusive insights, elite tactics, and advanced Forex trading methodologies, visit StarseedFX Forex Education. And if you’re ready to level up your trading game, join our community for expert analysis, live trading insights, and daily alerts—because let’s face it, there’s nothing quite like having insider secrets. —————– Image Credits: Cover image at the top is AI-generated Read the full article

[scottguy]

The "undecided" just don't pay attention to anything but their own lives until an election. They vote because they know they should but all they know is what popular culture and social media have pushed at them.

They don't watch any serious news. They don't realize America is an oligarchy. They want to sound intelligent so they say RIDICULOUS things like, "I trust Trump on the economy" because he was the star of a reality show where Trump pretended to be a competent businessman instead of the abject failure Trump is in reality with so many bankrupt business failures.

If you CARE enough to vote then CARE enough to understand the big problems and what causes them.

I will break it down here:

Your life for us working-class Americans sucks because WEALTHY PEOPLE always want more money. So they raise prices, they profit off everything Americans need. Monopolies and greedflation is why prices are up.

The rich do NOT want to be blamed so they created Fox and right-wing media to get you angry and scared at everyone else but them, especially immigrants. Republicans have been at this blame game for 40 years now.

The Supreme Court decided to make bribery okay ... as "political speech" So that's why so many politicians are bought out.

EVERYONE, left and right agrees, money needs to come out of politics.

One party, the Republican party has always been more aligned with the desires of the rich. Republicans give the rich tax cuts and the rich donate millions to Republicans to get re-ekected to keep doing that.

But, as Trump and Fox came along the rich and the ultra religious (many rich people are Catholic) see this as their big opportunity to destroy democracy and make America into a land of the filthy rich and the poor who abide by the preferred religion of the rich. This explains Project 2025. It makes America a state run by the rich and religion.

Democrats, while far from perfect, AT LEAST believe in love, democracy, and the American values of democracy, freedom-from-religion, and free speech.

So, you can vote Trump who is promising, acting, and talking like Adolph Hitler. (This is not an exaggeration.) and we lose democracy forever.

Trump's plans are ridiculous to both economists and anyone with common sense. Locking up immigrants will be the biggest violation of human rights in American history since slavery. It will decimate store shelves as food workers are thrown in jails.

OR

You can vote for the intelligent, kind, highly experienced young black woman who has solid plans to helping working-class Americans. (Trump has no such plans, not one. Just look.)

So you can vote Trump and be stuck with Republicans for life who will put your life at the mercy of the insatiable filthy rich.

Or you can vote Democrat and make the filthy rich AT LEAST pay their fair share of taxes and...best of all... keep democracy!

[leatherbookmark]

sometimes i read other fans’ thoughts and get this feeling that they expected jgy to like... respect sex workers, understand their woes etc, and they find it shocking and abominable that he uses and kills them as collateral for his revenge plot. and while i agree that it wasn’t very cash money of him, i think this is where reading the novel would come in handy. because while jgy has the watchtower project, and in cql -- has the guanyin temple help people in need, it’s not exactly because he can relate to them and their difficult lives, but rather because he feels it’s the right thing to do as a rich person who can help. and we are shown in the flashback that both meng shi were ridiculed for being educated and ~aiming above their station~. there’s a good chance that jgy didn’t spare sisi just because he recognized her and remembered that she was kind to him and his mother, but because she was the only one to do so. so i’d say jgy feels no particular sentiment for sex workers as a group

(but also re: jgy and sex work, on one hand i am not surprised At All about the sheer amount of aus where jgy is a sex worker, even a “prestigious” and “powerful” one that’s not to be trifled with; they’re nice reads if you turn your brain off, besides there’s something ooh forbidden sexy about the relationship between a sex worked an a powerful cultivator (again, if you turn your brain off). and i know a fic that would tackle this concept seriously would be rather... grim -- for fuck’s sake, even though jgy’s social standing was low as fuck, he still had ambitions! he wanted to be a cultivator, to work, to be a learned gentleman, only for all his mother’s efforts to go to waste, and in such a way -- i still wish there... was one...;;;)

[bazzybelle]

Magical Equality Within The World of Mages

I’ve been thinking a lot since I finished reading Any Way The Wind Blows, and there are SO many things that I still need to process. I took my time with reading it, I’ve listened to the audiobook and I plan on re-reading it several times, once I move into my new house and have THAT stress done and over with. I cannot wait to re-read it on my back porch with some iced tea and a notebook to annotate and comment on pretty much everything that gave me feelings.

But for now, there is one massive issue that I want to address, and it plays into the plot for all three books.

Warning for those who have not read Any Way The Wind Blows, this post contains spoilers, so proceed with caution. I am tagging this appropriately, but adding an extra warning just in case.

Huge thanks to @carryonsimoncarryonbaz for reading this over and making sure I didn't sound like a rambling mess.

The World of Mages is an incredibly toxic place! This is especially true for anyone who isn’t a magical powerhouse, or stupid rich.

I’m going to not focus on the obvious socio-economic bullshit, because I’m not familiar enough with the British class system to properly comment on it. But if anyone wants to add onto this with a whole meta like that, please do so!

Instead, I’m going to focus on magic use and how detrimental it can be to grow up in this world if you aren’t one of the few who are blessed with the RIGHT kind of magic (I say right kind of magic for a reason, and I’m going to come back to that). I want to focus my attention on three characters (two of whom were drawn into Smith-Richard’s fake promises, and one who was just fed up with it all): Martin Bunce, Daphne Grimm, and Agatha Wellbelove.

1) Martin Bunce: We first hear about Martin Bunce in Carry On. He’s Penny’s dad, a renowned scholar and is leading a team researching the effects of the Insidious Humdrum. He’s a highly respected individual, in his own right. Penny adores him, she only speaks his praises, and I get the feeling she gets along better with Martin, then she does with Mitali. When Penny needs help with Shep’s curse, she trusts her dad to help her after her mother flat out refuses.

While Martin is respected in the community, he isn’t a magical powerhouse. In fact, he isn’t very powerful at all. Baz makes a cheeky little comment about how he must have come from mundanity with a name like “Bunce”, and he doesn’t teach any magical classes at Watford, he focuses mainly on Linguistics.

Professor Bunce is one of the people taken in by Smith-Richard’s message, and I’m kind of glad he is. It shows that Smith-Richard’s message can reach anyone, even someone as scholarly and learned as Martin. Martin Bunce is intelligent, loving, devoted, and the apple of his family’s eye. But, when push comes to shove, all that does not matter because in the end, he isn’t as magically powerful as his wife and kids. How many times has Martin been compared to his wife? How many times has he been compared to his kids? What was it like going to Watford and having to hear about how you barely scraped by in the magical classes? His whole family is obsessed with magic, his daughter's best friend is the Most Powerful Mage. Martin is constantly surrounded by people making comments about power and magic and being strong enough as a magician.

That stuff stays with you... So when you see someone performing magic that can pull you to your full potential, of COURSE you grab onto it and hope that it’s a real thing.

Something interesting to note here; Towards the end of AWTWB, Martin casts a drinking spell, and Baz makes a comment about anyone who could cast that spell in quick succession doesn’t need a power-up. Now, was Martin truly not powerful, or did he just not have the right type of magic? Could he have been a better magician if he was able to find the right situations where his magic responded better? If he was allowed to learn in a way where his magic could have reached its full potential, without the use of a horrible curse?

I have a teaching background, and I’ve worked with a lot of kids in Inclusive Education. I’ve had to differentiate practically all of my lesson plans so that all the kids in my classroom would understand the lesson and be able to reach the goals outlined for them. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve taught, but I look at stuff like this in the World of Mages and my teaching ear perks up.

2) Agatha Wellbelove: Another person who comes to mind, especially with not having the right kind of magic is Agatha Wellbelove. Agatha does not see herself as a very strong magician. She tells Simon that magic for her is like holding a muscle. Pair that up with a mother who is OBSESSED with magic and power and who’s got the most power, and which magical matches will bring about powerful children, and you get someone who becomes resentful of the whole effing thing! I’m not even going to touch the whole “dating the Chosen One” thing because that’s a whole other can of worms.

When we first meet Agatha, she’s already fed up with magic, and wants nothing to do with it, and I can’t say I blame her. She spends all of Wayward Son running away from magic, and meandering through life, being still so unsure of herself and of her place in the world. She calls herself a poor excuse for a magician, yet she manages to save both herself and Penny from the NowNext by summoning fire! That’s a huge flipping deal! Not everyone can do that, yet Agatha is able to summon the power inside herself to do so! Imagine the wonderful magic she could have done if she was taught in a way that spoke to her.

In AWTWB, she is the ONLY person who is able to get through to the Goats. Her magic seems to be connected to nature (if I had to guess). The Dryad, all the way back in Carry On, tells Simon that she and the others find Agatha “peaceful”. That’s her magic. Agatha was able to come full circle by finding peace with the magic she has. She was able to find a place for it. What’s sad is that she felt the need to run away and not want to have it in her life anymore. Her magic is beautiful, yet not enough.

3) Daphne Grimm: So, this is the character that stood out to me the most. Daphne is the reason I even wanted to write this commentary. Those of you who know me, know that I adore this character. Partly because, I’m obsessed with the idea that Baz has people looking out for him and who care about him.

Anyway, Ms. Daphne Grimm is the apple of my eye essentially. I love her, I adore her, and she is treated SO UNFAIRLY by the World of Mages.

What do we know about Daphne? She is Baz’s stepmum, and has four kids with Malcolm. From the first book, there are snarky little comments about Daphne’s lack or power and magic. Baz himself makes a shitty comment about how Daphne’s “blood is as thin as gruel”, even though Daphne goes out of her way to make sure he’s got food sent to his room. She’s extra careful in making sure Baz feels safe in his own home. She suggests to Malcolm that Baz should see a therapist for everything he’s been through, making her the ONLY parent who not only acknowledges her child’s trauma, but tries to do something about it!

She is a GOOD mom!

Ok, we know that Baz wears a ton of masks of indifference in Carry On, and he softens up tremendously in Wayward Son, calling her lovely while teaching him to drive a car.

We learn a lot about Daphne in Any Way The Wind Blows. Namely that Fiona has some pretty nasty opinions about her. (That comment about her kids not being legitimate, and that she’s as “thick headed as she is thin blooded”. Now, imagine you’re Daphne, and the widower of the Great Natasha Pitch asks to marry you. That’s already some MASSIVE shoes to fill. You accept, and you do the best you can, taking care of his son and being a positive presence in his life, meanwhile going to all these posh functions where EVERYONE talks about power and magic. Then to have the sister of your husband’s first wife make snarky comments about your level of power and magic.

That stuff sticks with you.

Daphne doesn’t want her kids going to Watford, the ONLY magical school in the UK (as far as we know). She wants her children to succeed and be known for everything they are capable of doing, instead of being ridiculed for all the ways they’ll come up short. According to Baz, the only reason Daphne graduated from Watford was because she was smart enough to pass every exam (yet, Fiona still makes snarky comments about her intelligence).

Daphne is well aware of how painful it can be to live in the World of Mages and not be a powerhouse magician. Like Martin, she takes matters into her own hands and seeks out a way to make herself more powerful.

It is heartbreaking to look at these three amazing, beloved characters, and think about the suffering they have had to endure by their peers. Both Daphne and Martin get frustrated when those around them question their choice to follow Smith-Richards, stating “you don’t know what it’s like”. Luckily for Daphne, Baz makes an effort to actually understand her, and doesn’t judge her. Even when Fiona mocks her, Baz defends his stepmum. When Daphne berates herself and compares herself to Natasha, Baz reflects on how Natasha would have killed him (something Daphne would NEVER do to any of her children).

We know that Watford did not allow magical creatures, or differently-abled magicians (I use this term for a reason) to study there until the Mage came around and allowed everyone into Watford. This was a great thing, because now, every magical child was given the opportunity to learn how to speak with magic.

However, it should not have stopped there. I spoke earlier on differentiation and on finding the right place for everyone’s magic. What if magicians like Martin, and Daphne, and Agatha are all powerful in their own right, and they just haven’t found their place where their magic fits? Instead of finding the right way to teach these magicians, they are left to struggle and ultimately resent their magic and the magic of the world around them.

Do I hear a social commentary on the state of standardized education? I can’t really comment on the British Educational System, nor the American one, as I am Canadian. What I can say, from my own experience in Canadian classrooms, is that for all the talk we do on making education inclusive, there is still a big push from higher ups for high grades and standardized testing. If any of my followers are British or American and care to share your two cents, feel free to do so. Let’s keep the conversation going!

I think this post might have gotten away from me. I think my point was to act as a defense for people like Daphne and Martin who found themselves fished into a scam all for the promise of feeling like they are enough in their world. I also wanted to defend people like Agatha, who did all she could to run away from all of it, only to find the place where she (and her magic) belonged.

I remember having this discussion on Discord, and one of the points that came up was that maybe The Greatest Threat to the World of Mages was this deeply ingrained prejudice over magicians with different sorts of magic. Magicians who need that extra bit of help to find their way.

We’ve seen in this series how these prejudices can threaten to split the World of Mages apart, and it looks like magicians like Penny, Baz, and Agatha are learning from these mistakes. Only time (and us fanfiction writers) will tell how they end up shaping their world for the future generations.

[onlydreamofmysoul]

The new (and last 😭)sweater weather chapter put this situation in my head and I don’t have the talent to make it real:

How would Remus react after he learns he can be a player on the team? and how does the rest of the team react? and how does the media react? and what does Sirius say? and what is his first game like? And what does Jules and his family think? AND AND AND ????

Of course u don’t have to do anything and I adore your writing just thought I would share some of my frantic ramblings.

I’m getting lots of ones like these! My brain has been spinning with so many ideas but one that stuck with me were Remus’ old superstitions.

Characters and their wonderful world by @lumosinlove

Half Sheer Dumb Luck

Calf stretches before thigh

Remus just stared at coach Weasley.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“We’d like to offer you a place on the team.”

Remus wasn’t sure he could trust himself to blink, never mind talk. “Is this a joke?”

Arthur stepped forward, his face calm and reassuring. “Remus, no, of course not. I’m your friend. I wouldn’t do that to you. We, all of us, the organisation, the team, we’ve reviewed your tapes. We’ve seen you play. And we want you on the team.”

“The team knows.” It was a statement, not a question. 

Arthur nodded.

“Sirius knows.”

He nodded again.

“This is real?”

Arthur smiled as he nodded this time. “As real as me standing here right now.”

“I’ll have to be ready.” Remus’ hands were shaking. “There’s so much to do.”

Coach stepped forward and placed his hand on Remus’ shoulder. “Yeah, there is. But I don’t think there’s a better man up for the job.”

“Oh my god.” Remus thought his knees were going to give way.

Arthur grinned and pushed Remus away from him lightly. “Now go talk to your boy. Not being able to tell you has been killing him.”

Remus nodded and walked away in a daze. Sirius was right where he left him, chatting to Thomas and Noelle. He smiled when he saw Remus.

“He… he wants me to join the team?”

Thomas let out a whoop. “Loops knows!”

The tent went up in cheers but Remus could only see Sirius.

“Is.. Would that be okay for you?”

Sirius frowned, pulling Remus right up against his chest. “Would that be okay? Oh my love, there’s nothing in the world that I would love more.”

Remus laughed, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. “I’m going to be on the Lions.”

Sirius kissed him, slow and filled with love. “You already are.”

“I’m going to have to train non-stop.”

“I’ll help you.”

“You’ll train over the summer?” Remus asked disbelievingly. Sirius kissed his forehead, then his nose and finally his lips. “I’ll do anything for you.”

The rest of the team then decided they had enough waiting and piled on, a massive group hug in the middle of the wedding reception, Remus right in the centre.

Two bottles of water on the bench.

“Mom, I have some news.” Remus said over the video call, his voice shaking. He could practically see his mother looking at his hand to see if there was a ring.

“It’s not that mom jeez, can you grab dad and Jules too?”

Remus waited until they were all together for him to speak again.

“So, the Lions organisation found my old tapes.” He began, “They started looking after they saw me play at family skate.”

Jules was just listening, bouncing in his seat waiting for Remus to get to the point. His mother looked concerned, but his father looked, almost knowing.

Remus swallowed, wishing he could tell them in person - he and Sirius were visiting next week but Remus needed to tell them in order for it to feel real. He was glad he was sitting on the couch at home, he needed some sense of normality.

“I’ve been asked to join the Lions.”

“I don’t understand. You already work with the Lions?”

“No mom, not as staff. I’ve been asked to join. As a player.”

Julian let out a whoop so loud Remus might have heard it without a phone. “Re, did you say yes? You had to say yes, please tell me you said yes!”

Remus laughed, nodding his head. “Of course I said yes.”

Hope promptly burst into tears and there was a definite pool forming in his dad’s eyes.

“Oh Re,” His mother breathed, “Oh my darling this is so, so wonderful.”

“No one deserves this more than you.” His dad was saying. “I am so proud.”

“Re does that mean I get to come to all of your games! Oh my god, you’ll be famous! I mean, you’re already famous, but you’ll be more famous! Re! You’ll be rich!”

Remus burst out laughing, looking around at the ridiculously large house he was in already, “I don’t think I need the money Jules.” While his mother rolled her eyes.

Julian gasped as another thought flew into his head. “Remus! I need to get your jersey!”

Sirius walked into the room, and perked up, “Oui! We need your jersey Re!”

Remus covered his face with his hands. “I don’t even have a jersey.”

“Yet.” Sirius corrected, curling up next to him and kissing his cheek. “You don’t have a jersey yet.”

Right foot first to step onto the ice.

“Es-tu prêt?” Sirius asked as they stood outside the locker room. Remus took a deep breath in.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

The clamour of the locker room was deafening, but Remus wouldn't have it any other way.. He nearly cried laughing when he saw that Nado and Kuny had decorated his new stall with pictures of Sirius, all copied and printed from social media with edits of Sirius shirtless and captions and endless heart-eyed emojis. He hugged Leo who was in the stall next to him and when he sat down to lace up his skates, he relished the feeling that he was part of the team. Because he was part of the team now, really and truly.

He met the new PT - Dorcas, with whom he knew he’d become fast friends. He also set about telling her all the ins and outs of working with the boys, their little superstitions, their tells when they were lying about their injuries. She just smiled and thanked him and told him to kindly fuck off and enjoy his first day, he could tell her all this another time.

The boys made a big show of letting Remus be the first out onto the ice (After you my good man) and while Remus rolled his eyes and smacked the back of a few heads playfully (Finn, Thomas and James), this was the moment he had waited for all of his life.

Right foot first, he stepped onto the ice.

Pasta and marinara before home games,

“Loops, what are you doing? I told you I would cook before your first game!”

Remus smiled and tilted his head up to kiss his boyfriend, placing both hands on his chest. “Baby, I love you, but you can cook precisely three dishes, and this isn’t one of them.”

Sirius pouted. “Your mom is teaching me.”

Remus nodded, “I know, that’s the only reason you can make those three dishes.”

Sirius shook his head smiling but he kissed Remus, nipping his bottom lip playfully.

“Are you nervous?”

“Terrified.”

“You’ll be incredible.”

“And if I’m not.”

Sirius kissed him. “If you’re not well then,” Sirius shrugged with one shoulder, “Then you try again next time. What was it a wise man once said? You always have more than one shot.”

Remus scrunched his nose. “That makes me sound like an old man.”

“A sexy old man.” Sirius commented and Remus just groaned. “Oh my god get out of here.”

Chicken and broccoli before away.

“Ha!” Sirius exclaimed when Remus walked into the kitchen and stopped short at the sight of his boyfriend cooking. “Je prépare le dîner ce soir.”

“... You don’t know how to make this one.”

Sirius put a hand to his chest in a wounded gesture. “You think I would give you food that is not good on a game day? Mon loup, how little faith you have.”

Remus felt a smile playing on his lips. “So you’ve magically learned how to cook?”

Sirius shook his head. “Non, that wouldn’t be magic, that would be a miracle. I have however, been taking lessons from your mother. Secret face-time lessons, when you’re out. I’m getting quite good.”

“You’ve been taking secret fact-time cooking lessons from my mother?”

Sirius nodded and held out a spoon for Remus to try. Remus dodged the spoon and kissed him instead. “I love you.”

Eggs morning of, pancakes after a win

“So,” Remus said, stepping into the locker room. “Who’s up for some pancakes?”

The roaring affirmative made Remus laugh before a warm weight barrelled into him.

“Hi Jules!”

Jules had taken to wearing both Remus and Sirius’ jersey at the same time to games, because he apparently couldn’t choose a favourite. He alternated between which one he wore on the outside. Today, it was Remus’, with LUPIN splashed across the back, the number 6 bold in the centre.

“Can I come get pancakes too?”

Sirius appeared behind Julian and threw him up into the air before setting him back on his feet, Jules giggling the whole time. 

“We could never get pancakes without my favourite Lupin!”

“Hey!” Remus protested, but he looked at Julian’s set of jerseys and smiled. 

“I suppose you can have two favourites.”

Finn, walking by, cupped his hands to his mouth. “Preach!”

Drag the puck around the crease twelve times.

“Hey Loops, are you coming to stretch?”

Remus smiled at James. “I’ll be over in a second Pots, I just have to do something first.”

James nodded and went to skate away before pausing. “Wait!” He looked at Remus sheepishly. “Blue?”

Remus shook his head fondly. “You’re so lucky I knew you’d ask for that.” He said ducking to grab a bottle of blue Gatorade he had taken from the kitchen for exactly this purpose. “Love you Fruit Loop!”

“Not as much as me, I hope.” Sirius commented as he stepped out onto the ice. “You coming?”

Remus shook his head. “Just gotta, you know.”

“Skate around the crease twelve times.” Sirius smirked. “I thought you weren’t superstitious.”

Remus flushed a dark red. “I’m not! But I’m not going to risk it either!” He laughed when he realised Sirius was teasing him and pushed him away lightly.

“Oh shove off, you can’t say anything.”

Sirius just continued to smirk at him as he skated backwards. “Love you too.”

Remus looked around the packed stadium as the anthem played and he pressed his star necklace to his lips. Looks like he had another tradition.

[preciousthingsareprecious]

That Time Tim Totally Terminated Ra's Al Ghuls Entire Empire Part 1

So. I wrote something very silly. The title says it all, except it doesn't because this bad boy spiraled out to being over 10k and deserving of 2 chapters. Anyway, here is the first chapter featuring all the times Ra's kidnapped Tim because he wanted to recruit him.

Summary:

"Let us not beat around the bush,” Ra’s started, after taking a sip from his tea, “I have brought you here to make you an offer.” Tim nodded, that was obvious enough. Ra's had no reason to kidnap him this time beyond something like this.

“As you know, I’m always on the lookout for enterprising young individuals with both leadership and fighting experience to join the League of Assassins. Right now I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect person to fill a brand new executive role in a new chapter of my organization.”

AO3 Link

~

Tim wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up in this situation. No really. One moment he’d been in Gotham, crouched behind an old BMW that had been in the same spot for a month, waiting on Batman’s signal, the next he’d woken up in some lavishly decorated room. Was that silk? Or maybe velvet? He had no idea what was hanging around the bed he was laying in, but Tim really didn’t care.

What he was concerned about was his own personal state. He raised his arms --that alone was a good sign-- and confirmed that his mask was in place. He pushed himself up on the ridiculously plush bed, -which was unreasonably plush by the standards of a kid who'd grown up rich, and then gone to live with a guy who had both more money and even better beds.

The point was, the bed was so soft Tim actually had a bit of trouble sitting up.

When he did manage to right himself, he finished taking stock of his own situation and his surroundings. His Robin uniform was intact aside from his belt, but he saw that set on a trunk that looked at least as old as Bruce, a few feet away. The room was, as he already determined, lavishly decorated.

Tim pushed himself out of the bed and onto a carpet so thick he kind of wanted to pull off his shoes and curl his toes in it, but seeing as he still had no idea where he was, who took him, or why, he figured that was probably out of the question. He did make a mental note to ask Bruce for some better carpet when he got home. As a kind of gift for surviving a very weird kidnapping.

Instead, he moved to walk carefully around the room. He found no obvious traps, no cameras or speakers or microphones that were either hidden or out in the open, and both doors were unlocked.

The first he opened revealed a bathroom. The second he cracked open to peer out of. His eyes locked on that of an honest to goodness ninja standing guard outside the door. The man locked eyes with him and Tim snapped the door shut with a click.

Welp, that answered the who and maybe even the where of Tim’s abduction. Ra’s Al Ghul. He was pretty sure if he gave the ninja ten minutes to go find Mr. al Ghul himself, he’d have the why too.

While he waited, Tim snapped his belt back around his waist, comfortable to have its weight back, even if being in a League stronghold meant all the tricks in his pockets were basically useless on his own. Still, it was nice to feel fully like Robin again.

After that it was a matter of waiting.

Tim paced an actual trench into the thick carpet as he waited. Batman was of course looking for him. That was a given, he just had to wait for the man to find him. Or for Ra’s to send him home? He really wasn’t sure why the Eco-terrorist would have taken him in the first place beyond a really weird obsession with Batman's various sidekicks.

How come all of Bruce’s baddies seemed to have a strange fixation on Robins? It was weird how many went out of their way to kidnap and attempt to recruit him, Dick, and if the stories were to be believed, Jason too.

Just as Tim was starting to turn that particular thought over in his head, the door to his room opened and Ra’s himself strolled in.

“Timothy.” the man drawled.

“Ra’s.” Tim replied, suddenly totally and completely unsure what to do with his hands, voice, feet, and general self. This wasn’t a fight after all.

He settled for crossing his arms and being terribly glad his domino hid his eyes.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I brought you here.” Ra’s said.

Tim shrugged, “It doesn’t take the world’s greatest detective to guess that.”

The man frowned at him, and Tim started to wonder if maybe he should be watching his words a bit. He wasn’t in Gotham with Batman at his back after all. But then again, Ra’s must need something from him right? So a little sass was okay, what was Robin without a smart mouth after all?

“I mean--” Tim started, unable to stop himself now that he was thinking about it, “I can probably start to guess. You didn’t kill me and I’m not in a dungeon so you’ve got to want something from me right? I bet this is some blend of trying to win me over and also hold me above Batman because you--” he paused for a moment trying to remember if Bruce had been on Ra’s’ trail at all lately.

He dropped his arms and clapped, remembering, “You’ve been trying to break into energy and you want Wayne Enterprise to back you and legitimize your business. So you’re holding Tim over Bruce, but you probably want Robin because you and like half of Batman’s rogues have this weird obsession with teen heroes for some reason."

At some point he’d stopped looking at Ra’s and actually started pacing again. When he stopped talking his feet stilled and he looked back up at Ra's and grinned, ""So, am I hot or freezing cold?”

He expected Ra's to looked angry or irritated, instead he looked amused.

“You are quite warm. Though I would contend the assertion that I have a weird obsession with teen heroes. I am only interested in the exceptional, and you Timothy, are exceptional indeed.”

Tim gulped, “I mean--not really? But thanks.”

Ra’s waved him off, “We will speak more later. You are correct, I do intend to use you as a bargaining chip against your guardian--”

“Dad.” Tim interjected.

The man raised an eyebrow but continued, “However you are not a prisoner in the traditional sense. You may wander the compound with one of my men by your side to ensure you do not get into trouble. If all goes well you will be returned to Batman within a reasonable amount of time. Unless, of course, you do decide you would like to stay and learn from me.”

“I don’t really see that happening.” Tim said, “But I'll be sure and let you know if I make a sudden turn towards world domination.”

Again, Tim expected some kind of retaliation, but he was thankfully ignored. Ra’s left him with a warning not to cause undue trouble and soon Tim was alone in the room again.

He spent the next couple days wandering the compound somewhat aimlessly. He had a phone call with Bruce where he promised his dad that he was totally fine if a little bored, and spent the rest of his time trying to avoid Ra’s. The man was kind of relentless in his attempts at winning Tim over to his side and sought him out at meals, when Tim was trying to train a bit at one of the many gyms, and even once while Tim was wandering a rather fantastic garden. Each time, Tim did his best to wiggle out of the man's suggestions and just get back to wiling away the time between then and getting home.

Thankfully, it was all over in four days when Batman came crashing in with Nightwing and Batwoman to rescue him, and soon Tim was home and settling back into normal life.

He’d actually almost forgotten about the whole Ra’s kidnapping him until it happened again. Once had been a surprise, two times was starting to look deliberate.

This one lasted a week with Ra’s claiming it was because he still really wanted that energy deal and he just couldn’t understand why Bruce wasn’t willing to trade that for his ward (son Tim had ground out in irritation).

Tim almost believed him, until he woke one morning to find a pamphlet had been slipped under his door, it was literally a flyer promoting hiring in the League. Tim looked over it and had to laugh out loud. The text was done in a mix of papyrus and other fonts and whoever made it had used clip art. It looked like someone had typed it up in Microsoft word in like half an hour.

He spent the rest of his time there re-designing the flyer, with a ninja hanging over his shoulder as he used one of the League computers. The new one wasn’t the best flyer in the world, but Tim was pretty proud of it, and it was much better than the first draft.

When he was done, he pocketed the original, then pinned a note to the new one that said: Ha! Not until you get better designers.

Batman rescued him again, and Tim pushed the double kidnapping and Ra’s’ weird obsession to the back of his mind until the next time he was with Steph.

They were in the manor watching a Chopped marathon and Tim was telling her about both kidnappings.

“So he’s super into energy? How come he didn’t nab Dick? We all know he’s Bruce’s favorite.” Steph teased, popping a chip into her mouth.

“Setting aside that obvious lie, that’s the thing,” Tim continued, digging out the flyer he’d kept, “It has nothing to do with energy or Dick. I’m pretty sure Ra’s is trying to recruit me.”

He showed her the paper and Steph snorted, spraying chips out as she laughed, “No. Freaking. Way. I have to tell Cass. Let me show her this, please I’m begging you.”

Tim groaned, “Yeah, sure, but don’t you think it’s weird?”

She shrugged, taking the flyer to look it over, “Of course, but the B-man attracts weird like ice cream dropped on the ground attracts ants. Give him six months, and Ra’s will move onto a different way of trying to piss off Batman.”

“I hope so.” Tim said.

The third time Tim woke up in the elaborate room he was getting really sick of the decor and the headache that came with being knocked out and dragged halfway across the world.

“You know.” Tim started, the moment Ra's walked into his room (and it was actually Tim’s room he’d learned from one of the ninja guards), “You could have waited a month this time, to at least pretend this wasn’t all about your super weird plan to try and convince me into letting you adopt me.”

Ra’s opened his mouth to respond, but Tim wasn’t done.

“Which, by the way, I’m taken already. B did the whole adopting thing, so you missed that window. Though, I guess that probably doesn't really matter to you in the grand scheme of things since you keep kidnapping me. You are aware that kidnapping isn’t the best way to convince someone that your way is the right one, right?”

“Also, would it kill you to pick up some --I don’t know-- books on recruitment or something? I don’t understand how you’ve managed to get so many guys on your side it’s--” Tim started, but Ra’s had caught on to Tim’s mood at this point, conceded temporary defeat, and made a hasty retreat.

Tim didn't see him the whole rest of the day, and by the next morning Batman showed up, swinging in for another rescue and all was fine and good and normal for a while.

Until, of course, it wasn’t.

It was the fourth kidnapping that really set Tim off.

He woke up back in that stupid room with it’s stupid decor and those stupid posters ready to burn the place to the ground. But something stopped him, a premonition. Like if he was patient for just a little longer he’d find a good and proper form of revenge to take on Ra’s for his total inability to take a hint.

At some point two ninja came by to take Tim to meet with Ra’s. As they walked Tim couldn’t help but notice the posters literally lining the hallways they walked through.

They were of two wildly different styles, but both struck a thought of familiarity in his mind. One was obviously a play on the classic “I want you in the army” poster. The other ripped off old “pin up” recruitment posters. Both made him laugh, and Tim pulled a couple of each down to save to show the Titans. He had a feeling Bart and Kon would lose their minds over these.

He had just folded them up and shoved them in his back pocket when they reached an office. Inside, Ra’s sat in a chair and motioned Tim to sit in one across from him.

“Thank you for joining me, Timothy.”

Tim sat and shrugged, “Not like I had much of a choice.”

Ra’s waved him off. As he did, a different ninja from either of the ones who’d escorted Tim to the office came in with a tray of tea. He handed Ra’s a cup, then gave one to Tim, and left the set on a table between them.

The whole vibe was kind of awkward and strange. Tim felt very much like he had one time a year ago when he’d realized halfway through a date that things were not going to work out. He hadn’t been able to end the date then and there, and had spent another two hours awkwardly making small talk and trying to avoid promising a second date.

“Let us not beat around the bush,” Ra’s started, after taking a sip from his tea, “I have brought you here to make you an offer.”

Tim nodded, that was obvious enough. Ra's had no reason to kidnap him this time beyond something like this.

“As you know, I’m always on the lookout for enterprising young individuals with both leadership and fighting experience to join the League of Assassins. Right now I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect person to fill a brand new executive role in a new chapter of my organization.”

Tim took a sip of his tea in an attempt at avoiding having his mouth drop open in shock. Ra’s sounded like something out of a “Executive success seminar” that was just a veiled multilevel marketing scheme.

“To put it plainly, Timothy, I want you to become my apprentice. I know you and assume you might be hesitant to accept this lifestyle so I’ve prepared for you something of a presentation on what that might entail.”

Tim couldn’t stop a laugh from bursting out of him, but he did manage to turn it into a kind of cough.

“Wait--wait.” he said, almost choking on his tea, “Are you about to show me a powerpoint?”

Ra’s looked a bit put out at that suggestion, almost like he wanted to sigh, “Of course not, it’s more interactive than that.”

Tim held up his free hand, incredulous, “Is this--a job interview Ra’s? I thought you were pitching this to me.”

“No, no. It’s an interactive presentation designed to show you just what you have to gain from joining me.” Ra’s explained, as he did so Tim took another sip of his tea.

He lifted his cup and waved it lightly, “Oh yeah, so I’m just in one of those fairy tales then where you make me do three impossible tasks and at the end I get the happily ever after dip in the lazarus pit?”

“It’s only one trial--”

“So it is a task!” Tim declared, almost standing.

“Timothy.” Ra’s snapped, sounding a bit like Bruce whenever Tim and Steph’s antics pushed him a bit too far.

Tim crossed his legs and leaned back into the chair, “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Irritating the man was a bad idea, Tim knew that, but this was just ridiculous. He wasn’t going to be sent on a wild quest that might end up with him dunked in a Lazarus Pit or whatever else Ra’s had in mind that would supposedly prove how great it would be to work for him.

“If you are not going to take this seriously, then there are other ways of showing you why joining me is a good idea that are not nearly as pleasant.” Ra’s growled.

Tim held up his free hand, “I’d rather not find out, give me your pitch or send me off with your best ninja or whatever you were planning.”

He figured playing along would work for now. He could put off giving Ra’s an answer until Bruce came in for a third rescue. When he was home, they were going to have a serious conversation about ninja proofing the manor. Ra’s could not keep kidnapping him like this, they had to have some kind of security measures in place.

“Wonderful. I’m sure after your tour you’ll have a better understanding of what I have to offer you.”

Tim ended up following someone Ra’s called his “best general” around the compound for an hour. The guy showed Tim the training rooms, the medical suite, sparring rings, a variety of ninja’s actually practicing, and at one point they even ended up in the library. The general had been given instructions to pause anywhere Tim wanted him to, and so they lingered in the library for a bit.

He had to admit, Ra’s had a fantastic library.

The general didn’t seem worried about Tim getting lost, or escaping, and waited by the door while he wandered the massive room.

And boy was it huge. It was bigger than the main floor of the cave, with stacks and stacks of books on two floors. Some of the volumes looked ancient, and there were even scrolls shelved on the second floor.

He gingerly pulled one out to examine.

“That is worth more than you could ever imagine.” a sharp, young voice, declared, behind him.

Startled, Tim dropped it back onto the shelf and spun. Before him stood a kid, probably 8 years old, with tousled dark hair, dark skin, and a face that almost echoed some of Bruce’s school photos. It was startling.

“Hi.” Tim said, dumbly, “I know, it’s Ancient Sumarian right?”

“Tt.” the boy crossed his arms, “You are not an idiot then.”

Tim shook his head, “Nah, apparently I’m smart enough to be selected for recruitment.”

The kid nodded, “So you are Grandfather’s young detective. He speaks highly of you.”

Grandfather? Tim’s brain spun. This kid was Ra’s al Ghul’s grandkid? He ran the numbers, the kid’s mom was either Talia or Nyssa. If he had to put money on it, Tim figured the boy before him looked more like Talia than her sister. And his other features--like Bruce’s?

No.

No.

No. Freaking. Way.

“That is hardly language to use here.” The boy said, arching an eyebrow at him.

Tim hadn’t realized he’d spoken aloud, but apparently his surprise had been so great he had. He cleared his throat, “Sorry, I just never expected Ra’s to have a grandkid.”

“It is not surprising to me, I am his heir. Born to inherit the League and rule the world one day.”

Okay, that was a lot to unpack. Just a totally wild amount, but Tim wasn’t super focused on the world domination thing just yet (maybe later when he had a chance to process all of--well, all of it), “Sorry to keep pressing but, doesn’t having an heir kind of--I don’t know, put his whole Eternal Ruler of the League thing in jeopardy?”

“Tt. It is not my place to question my Grandfather’s plans. I simply know what I have been told, that I will inherit the League one day in his stead.”

“Well,” Tim rocked back on his heels casually and grinned, “That might be a long loooong time.”

The kid’s brows furrowed as if he had not really considered that idea before. He opened his mouth to say something else, but seemed to decide against it, dropping his arms to his sides to shrug, “If that is his wish then so be it.”

“True.” Tim said, not really knowing what to say. Instead he settled on changing the subject, “You know, if your grandfather gets his way I’ll be spending more time here, so I guess introductions are in order. I’m Timothy Drake-Wayne, but most people just call me Tim.”

He held his hand out to the kid, smiling at him. If he really was Bruce’s then they’d be getting to know each other for sure. Just not here. Tim had zero intentions on letting Bruce’s child stay with the League. Did B he even know he had a kid? Tim thought he’d better figure that out first before kidnapping his little brother.

Little brother. Just that idea made something flutter in Tim’s chest. He’d always wanted a little brother.

The boy scowled at his hand, and did not take it, “You may be correct, even if I do not see what Grandfather seems to. I am Damian al Ghul, heir to the Demon’s Head.”

Tim bit back a grin at just how serious this kid was. He sounded like a little prince, all imperious and haughty. Damian, even his name fit him. He wondered how Damian would do around Dick? Or Stephanie. They’d figure out how to bring a smile out of him.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Damian.” Tim said, “I know we’ve really only just met, but I’m sure you’ll see what Ra’s does in time.”

Damian looked him over again, then gave a sharp nod, “I am interested in seeing what you have to offer.”

“Damian, I found it, where’d you go?” A voice sounded from deeper within the stacks.

Tim started at the sound of the voice. He knew it. Knew it from nights spent chasing shadows, from recording’s Bruce had watched a hundred times when he didn’t think Tim was watching. From Tim’s own desire to know and learn more about his predecessor. It was Jason Todd’s voice.

But that couldn’t be. Jason was dead.

“I am coming.” Damian returned, his tone more childlike than Tim had heard in their whole conversation. He turned back to Tim, “Do not ruin that scroll, I will see you later.”

Then he spun on his heel and walked away.

Tim stepped forward, reaching out for the kid, “Wai--”

“Master Tim, we really must be going.” Tim’s guide was back, stepping into his view as if from nowhere, and stopping Tim’s chase as short as it had been.

“Can we wait just one more second?” he asked, “I wanted to ask Damian something else.”

The man’s mouth turned down in a frown, “I do not have clearance to let you speak with Master Damian. Come, we have more to see.”

Frustration bubbled up in Tim, but unless he wanted to start a fight he wasn’t going to get a chance to talk to Damian right then. The kid had promised to see him later, so maybe he’d seek Tim out. If not, Tim would find a way.

As he followed the man out of the library, he kept searching the stacks of books for a sign of the others. It wasn’t until they’d left the room that Tim caught sight of Damian again, his small form waving animated at a taller, broader one. One that, while older, was unmistakably Jason.

Before Tim could say screw everything, the two turned around a corner, and someone else was clearing their throat. His guide seemed eager to move on, and so they did.

Tim tuned out most of the rest of the tour, and eventually found himself back in the office from before, once again seated across from Ra’s.

“Timothy, I hear you have met my grandson on your tour.” Ra’s started.

“I did.” Tim said, a bit hesitant to go into detail, his guide had seemed like talking to Damian was a pretty serious thing, and suddenly Tim was afraid he’d gotten the kid in trouble.

Ra’s smiled, “He is magnificent is he not? Already he is a skilled warrior, and well trained in his studies.”

“He said he was your heir?” Tim ventured.

The man waved a hand dismissively, “Of course he is, he is my grandson, but that does not mean he will inherit. The boy is valuable to me, for many reasons. He is an excellent tool to wield against my enemies already, and will only become more so as he grows.”

Anger bubbled up in Tim. There was something in Ra’s’ tone that made Tim sick, to call a kid a tool. To plan to just use him his whole life?

“And what, do you want to do that with me too? You said you wanted me to be your apprentice, but if your Heir is just a tool then--”

“No, as I said I want you to take over a branch of the League. You have talents and skills Damian will not. The boy is--” Ra’s shrugged, “Let us call him a vessel. A shell for me to wield in one way or another.”

Well, that just made Tim even more angry. Damian was his grandkid. What Tim wouldn't have given to still have his grandparents, and for Ra’s to just--If Tim wasn’t already dead set on getting Damian home, he would be after this conversation.

“You know what, Ra’s. Let me think on it a while. I’ll get back to you on my answer. I kind of want to see Damian in action a bit, learn what this training looks like in someone closer to my age.”

The man considered this for a moment before nodding, “I will let you watch his sparring session tomorrow. For now, I think we’re done. Have a good evening, Timothy.”

Tim nodded, and left. His mind was racing, he wanted another look at Jason. Wanted to tell Damian about his dad. Wanted to make sure both his brothers were okay.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he missed the black and blue clad arm that reached out from behind a curtain and yanked him back. Nightwing put a hand over Tim’s mouth to quiet him, and then pulled him out the window the curtain had been hiding. They dropped, into nothing--except it was solid?

Tim found himself inside the invisible jet. Inside, and flying away from his newly discovered siblings before he could even argue they needed to be rescued too.

One flight with Wonder Woman and Nightwing later, and Tim was home again, being told in stern tones by both Batman and Nightwing that he really needed to stop allowing himself to be kidnapped by ninjas (like he didn’t know that).

Then he was in his room, in bed, staring up at the ceiling, his mind whirring. He had learned two things on this trip. Two impossible things. Two things he was going to leverage as soon as he could.

It was late, and he should be sleeping, but instead he texted Steph and Cass in their little group chat.

Tim: Want to cause some chaos?

Immediately he received a response:

Steph: Always

Cass: Who are we going after?

Tim smiled, his fingers dancing over his phone:

Tim: Ra’s.

Cass: Time to teach him a lesson?

Steph: I've been waiting for this, I’ll get the kerosene

Tim: There’s more.

Cass: Tell.

The light flashed on out in the hallway, Tim could see it flicker to life under his door.

Tim: Tomorrow, lunch at that place with the sweet potato fries. Come ready to plan a kidnapping or two.

The next day Tim found both Steph and Cass waiting eagerly for him at the restaurant, a heaping plate of sweet potato fries between them.

“Spill, Bird Brain.” Stephanie said, as he sat down, pushing some fries towards him, “I want to hear everything about this crusade against Ra’s.”

Tim rolled his eyes, and snagged a fry, dipping it in one of the sauces they’d gotten to accompany it.

“As you’ve probably already guessed, I had another visit to the League compound yesterday.” Tim started, “It was more of a day trip this time, but Ra’s did his very best to sell me on signing up.”

“More posters?” Cass guessed, then shook her head seeing Tim’s expression, “What did he do?”

Tim snagged another fry, “Yes more posters, but more than that he gave me a speech right out of a How to Recruit for Dummies book, then sent me on a tour of the building.”

Steph snorted, “Please tell me you recorded it.”

“I did not, but you will never believe what I found on my tour, or to be precise who.”

Both girls paused their snacking, waiting on him to continue.

Tim dropped the first bomb, “Jason Todd, alive and breathing.”

“What, no way.” Steph said, “How’d he even get there? I thought He was buried here?”

He shrugged, “I don’t have any of the details, but they’ve got a Lazarus pit, and Ra’s is weirdly obsessed with recruiting Robin’s, so I’d say his resurrection tracks.”

“Who else was there?” Cass asked, brow furrowed.

Now this he knew neither of them would be expecting. Tim hadn’t expected it. He still couldn’t believe it.

“Ra’s al Ghul’s grandson, Damian.” Tim said, watched both girls look even more confused, then added, “The son of Bruce and Talia. At least, I’m pretty sure he’s their kid.”

The fry Stephanie was holding dropped out of her hand.

Tim watched Cass processing the information, saw her realization that there was another child being raised in the League, then saw the determination cross her face at her own personal decision.

“We are taking them both, correct?” Cass asked.

“We’re taking them both, and burning the place down.” Tim confirmed, “That should properly pay him back for all the time’s he’s kidnapped me this year.”

Steph’s lips turned up into a sharp grin, “The law of equivalent exchange.”

Tim laughed, “You’ve been watching too much tv.”

“It’s prepped me for this very moment.” she shot back, voice falsely grave.

“Batman prepared you for this very moment.” Cass elbowed her.

“No.” Tim said, “I’m going to prep you. And then we’re going to put everything in action.”

They talked, and planned, and debated the pros and cons of letting Tim get nabbed again over just going himself, and eventually after many many sweet potato fries and sodas they were ready.

It was to be infiltration first, fire and kerosene second. Obviously the place was going to go up, but only after they set the stage for rebellion and convinced Damian and Jason to go home with them. Tim didn’t think it’d be a hard sell for Jason, but the kid was another matter altogether. If Tim couldn’t convince him to come along, they may actually end up having to kidnap Damian.

A key to the plan was that only Tim, Steph, and Cass were in on it. There was no way Bruce was giving the green light for such a thing. Besides, Tim wanted to see his face when they presented him with not one, but two, rescued sons from the League.

Over the next week Tim made himself the most kidnappable he’d ever been. He wandered outside, kept to himself, and tried to look as wide eyed as possible. He lingered in parking lots, and took shortcuts down empty alleyways. Basically, he did everything he could to signal he was alone and vulnerable besides hanging a sign around his neck that said “Take me to your (ninja) leader”.

At one point he even stopped, dead center in the middle of an alley and declared, “Wow this sure is a dangerous place to be! I hope I don’t get attacked and kidnapped by ninjas!”

The only response he got that time was from an older woman who stopped at the edge of the alley and very seriously called out, “Careful, young man. Don’t you know there are killer clowns out? You best be on your way before you get hurt.”

Then, at long last, Tim caught sight of one of the League members ducking behind a shadow. He paused his walk, and leaned over as if fascinated by something on the sidewalk in front of him. By the time he’d stood, the ninja was in front of him.

Tim held up his hands in surrender, doing his best not to actually look excited. Then, he was successfully kidnapped for the fifth --and if Tim’s plan worked successfully-- final time.

[ah-ga-seven]

Till’ The End of Summer - Chapter 13

>> series masterlist <<

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world and Yeonjun’s reputation makes things complicated?

Word count: 11,5K

Genre:  Angst, Fluff.

Warnings: Heavy angst.

A/N: NOT the final chapter.

“Yeonjun…” his name came out like a whisper. You didn’t know what to do or say. You couldn’t fathom the betrayal and hurt that he must be feeling right now. 

“No, there has to be some type of explanation to this. She wouldn’t do this. Why would she? She practically raised me.”  He wasn’t listening, just rambling. Trying to make sense of why he heard her voice on the other end of the line.  

All of you stayed silent, looking at him with concerned and horrified facial expressions.

“Why would she do this. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Hyung…it does kind of explain why you could never find anything. She’s an in-house maid, she could have erased all traces and-”

“No, shut up. She wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeonjun maybe-” Mia tries to talk but Yeonjun cut her off too.

“No, no. Stop. I don’t want to hear it. This woman, she’s the one that sat with me at night so I didn’t have to eat dinner alone, she bathed me, fed me, read me bedtime stories. It can’t be her.” He didn't know who he was trying to convince. Maybe himself?

Yeonjun wasn’t stupid. He knew what it meant when she answered the phone, but he couldn’t accept it. How could he ever trust anyone ever again if this turned out to be true?  

He turned around on his heels so he didn’t have to face you guys, getting lost in thought as he pursed his lips together while running his hand through his hair. He was trying incredibly hard not to cry, until the thought of almost losing you crossed his mind, making a tear escape anyway.

He threw his head back, wiping the single tear from his eye, not wanting to break down in front of all of you. He needed to stay level headed and think rationally. But why was it so god damn hard for him this time when he always managed to pull through?

“She knows how much I love y/n,” he mumbles to no one in particular, but you all heard it and suddenly your heart wrenched in your chest.

He really does love you.

Even though your relationship was far from, well…a relationship. Yeonjun never shied away from expressing his feelings out in the open. Ever since he realized he loved you, he basically never shut up about it to the people around him; even under these circumstances.

You watch him with sad eyes. You didn’t get time to process what happened to you literally minutes ago, but none of it mattered anymore.

You had to set your feelings aside to be there for him.

You’ll heal from it some other time…right?

“Maybe getting to her would cause your breakdown? Meaning you won’t go for the CEO position in the future. You told us she’s the one who told you to come back here, maybe it’s because she didn’t want you to ruin her plans…” Mia says trying to piece things together, and Yeonjun hated to admit it; but it made perfect sense.

Lita knows that if he lost you, he’d completely break down and lose focus. He'd lose the will to succeed because he wouldn't have anyone left to live for.

He’d rather die than have anything happen to you, and maybe that’s dramatic, but it was no lie.  

You got up from your chair and walked over to him. You hold onto his forearm before moving in front of him to announce your presence in case you’d startle him, and when his eyes landed on you his pained facial expression completely disappeared.

It’s like you were a remedy to his broken soul. Every time he laid eyes on you, touched you, or kissed you, he healed a little.

You don’t say anything and just wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek against his chest. His heart was beating fast as he wrapped his arms around you to hug you back. He needed this. He needed you.

All you wanted was for him to be okay. For everything to go back to normal and to take away his pain but all of this was just too fucking crazy to wrap your mind around.

He rested his chin on top of your head and closed his eyes in solace as he sighed. Giving himself a second to breathe before he untangled himself from you without making eye contact.

“I have to call my mom,” he mumbles without emotion.

You look at him a little puzzled, as did Soobin and Mia who gave each other  looks of confusion at his suddenly changed attitude.  

He always does this. He always pushes his emotions aside in the blink of an eye and gets back to business as if it’s nothing.

Yeonjun disappears into your bedroom with his phone as he closes the door behind him. The closed door was enough for all three of you to understand to give him space, and so you did.

With a heavy head and a heavy heart, you sit down at your dinner table again, not feeling Mia and Soobin’s worried eyes on you as you bury your face in your hands. Soobin scooted closer to you and rubbed your back in warming up and down motions to assure you of his presence and Mia, who was sitting across from you, simply grabbed your hand with both of hers.

You sit like that in silence for god knows how long. You were trying to piece things together and process everything that has happened to you and then it hit you.

Every decision Yeonjun has made up until now was to protect you from the unimaginable which somehow became imaginable.  

And suddenly you felt bad for hating him. You hated him for loving you enough to let you go in favor of your own wellbeing. But God knows you did not think of any danger of this caliber.  

It was only months ago that your meaningless crush on Yeonjun got the best of you. If someone from the future would’ve told you that this would be the outcome of pursuing him, you’d probably punch that person in the face for being ridiculous, yet here you are.  

Completely and utterly broken, afraid, tired, and still in love.

And despite everything, you’d still choose to be with Yeonjun if you got to hit the re-do button.

Yeonjun emerged from your bedroom and as you heard the door creak open your head immediately snapped into his direction.

His face held an expression you couldn’t quite read, so you sigh. You bite your lip in anticipation as you watch him pull out a chair of your dining table, waiting for him to sit down and speak up.

“My mom didn’t believe me at first.”

“What? Why?” Mia asks with big eyes.

“Well, can you blame her? She has worked for your family since you were born hyung, this is a big accusation.” Soobin says as he tries to comfort Yeonjun by patting the hair that had grown out in the nape of Yeonjun’s neck. His eyes closed at the physical comfort and he leaned into Soobin’s touch for a split second. The sight was endearing, yet extremely sad.

“She told me she’s letting her people look into it. We can’t contact the police or talk to anyone about what happened. We’ll have to keep a low profile and return to our regular lives so we won’t raise suspicion. My mom will keep me updated and send security to keep us safe in the meantime. They’ll be on guard from tomorrow morning, we won’t even notice they’re here.” Yeonjun explains as if he’s leading a business meeting. All that was missing was a PowerPoint presentation. “Also, that’s evidence,” he says pointing to the cracked phone and the knife in the middle of your dinner table. “We need to put it somewhere safe and make sure no one else touches it.”

The three of you look at him a little dumbfounded.

“What do you mean by her people?” Soobin asks.

“Private detectives,” Yeonjun answers as If it’s nothing.

Private detectives, security, assassins, betrayal. What in the fuck has your life turned into? The things people would do to get to the Choi’s fortunes baffled you, and once again you were at a loss for words.

“Yeonjun, that’s a lot to process,” you say rubbing your forehead as the pain returns. Your hangover never really left you and now it was replaced with a whole new one.

“So, if we have security starting from tomorrow morning…what about tonight?” Soobin asks looking from you to Mia and back to Yeonjun.

“I suggest I stay with y/n. You stay with Mia.” Yeonjun says with a straight face.

You stare at him and make eye contact, and just before you wanted to say something, he interrupts you; knowing what you were going to ask him.

“Please don’t ask me if I’m okay y/n, I’m not.” He sighs as he avoids eye contact, playing with his fingers to distract himself from all of your eyes on him. “I’ll completely shut down if I let myself feel right now. I need to be level headed. I’ll deal with it later.”

Later. It’s always later with him, but when will later be too late?

You all stay quiet for a short while. Your minds going into overdrive and suddenly you felt crippling anxiety wash over you as the memory of that man trying to break your lock comes back to you.

Yay, another trauma to add to the list.

“What if he comes back…” you say in a whisper. Your voice cracked in fear and Yeonjun’s eyes darted to yours. Immediately heartbroken as you pulled your knees up to your chest. Hugging yourself to feel something warmer than the chills running down your spine at the thought of not feeling safe in your own home.

“I’m not leaving you,” Yeonjun says with determination in his eyes.  

You all had school tomorrow, and if you all had to act as if nothing happened tonight, the four of you would need at least some sleep.

After going over the game plan once more paired with a lot of convincing that you’d be alright with just Yeonjun being here, Soobin left with Mia.

Aside from everything, you were glad they left together so they could talk and hash a few things out. Even though you didn’t know what your dynamic with Yeonjun would be like once the two of you were alone together, having more people in your apartment would only make you even more restless than you already were.

The truth is, you had no idea how to act around Yeonjun anymore.  

Too much has happened and too much was weighing down on the both of you to be able to talk about it; so when you closed your front door, you froze before turning around.

He was on your couch, furiously typing to what you assume to be his mother and you know better than to ask about it, so you just awkwardly make your way over to him.

“Uhm…I still have a few of your clothes here. You could shower and change if that makes you feel any better,” you say as you look at him, anxiously waiting for him to look back at you.

He lifted his head from his phone and stared at you, and then at his surroundings as he only now noticed that Mia and Soobin had left already.

His furrowed eyebrows relaxed as he laid eyes on you, and his shoulders fell in relief as he nodded.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll go do that,” he says with a soft smile and an almost too polite tone.

It was as if you were strangers. The tension in the room was noticeable so you averted your attention on the box filled with his stuff next to your front door.

“I-it’s in there.” You stutter as you get up. Silently retrieving it to hand it to him.

You were going to send his stuff back to him, figuring your relationship was basically doomed in the past week.  

He held a neutral facial expression as he took the box from you. His fingers lightly ghosting over yours as he grabbed it from your hold. “You packed my stuff?” he asks as he sets the box aside on your couch.

He wasn’t hurt. In fact, he completely understood. But in some way you wanted him to be hurt.

You wanted him to show you any other emotion than the stoic expression he was holding now.

“I…well, y-yeah.”  you avoid his stare out of insecurity, and he seemed to notice.

“Hey, shhh. I don’t blame you. I get it, really,” he says as he got up from the couch, getting to eye level with you.

He gave you a faint smile as he caressed your cheek with his thumb.  

The Yeonjun you fell in love with would litter your face with kisses to make sure you felt reassured. He’d hug you tightly. Try to make you smile and hold you until you felt better. But the Yeonjun in front of you just turned around, grabbing the box again before he made eye contact once more. “Go to bed, don’t be afraid. I’ll be sleeping on the couch so nothing can happen to you okay?”  

You nod absentmindedly, avoiding his eyes.  

He gave you one last look before he made his way over to your bathroom and locked the door. By doing this he created a distance he hadn’t created before and suddenly you felt hollow.

'Oh my god, he locked the door.' you think to yourself.

He’s distancing himself from you because he’s in pain. But he wouldn’t tell you that with actual words because he didn’t know how.

And if he broke down now, he wouldn’t stop.

You stood there in the exact same spot for at least another 30 seconds. Listening to him turn on the faucet of your shower.

There was nothing you wanted more at the moment than to join him. Massage his sore muscles, and hold him close to be his security blanket but you can’t. And even if you could, you don’t know if you should.

After chugging down a glass of cold water while staring at your front door in paranoia you reluctantly made your way to your bed.  

You were tossing and turning, trying to hear if Yeonjun already finished getting ready for bed.

When you heard the faucet close and the door of your bathroom unlock, something inside of you hoped that he’d change his mind and crawl into your bed with you, but after 5 long and agonizing minutes of waiting, you gave up on the probability of him doing so.

You hated this.

You hated that he was so close, yet so far, and you hated even more that you were the one who created this distance.

The two of you never got to really talk, meaning he was just being respectful and mindful of your wishes. He was trying to give you the space you asked for but after tonight, you weren’t sure if space was what you needed.

You bite your lip, contemplating if your next move was the right one to make but after a full hour of not being able to fall asleep because of your overthinking ass, you figured you had nothing to lose.

You get out of your bed with your duvet wrapped around you like a cape and make your way to your living room silently, dragging your feet on your wooden floor.

He left a light on in your hallway, which you were happy about because you were able to see his sleeping form on your couch in the warm yet dimmed light.

He was lying on his back. His arms were crossed over his chest and his body faced your front door so he’d be able to see if anything were to happen.

As you got closer to him, you study his facial expression.

His lips were slightly parted and he was breathing slowly. He must’ve been completely exhausted to be able to sleep under these circumstances and you purse your lips together, noticing how his face still held a pained expression even in his sleep.

You unwrap your blanket from yourself and pull it over Yeonjun’s sleeping form as carefully as you could and tuck him in a little.

Your initial plan was to cuddle next to him on your couch, but given how peacefully he was sleeping you decide against it.

Instead, you move a piece from his grown out bangs away from his eyes and kiss his forehead before you got up, ready to walk back to your room until you feel a hand taking a firm hold on your wrist.

You look back in shock, feeling like you got caught. It took everything in you to suppress a yelp and when you made eye contact with him, he chuckled lowly.

He wasn’t asleep at all. In fact, he was struggling with the exact same thoughts. 

He opened the covers for you, pulling you down with him without a word and you gladly accepted the invitation.

You nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck as you rest your hand on his chest. He made sure you were completely covered by the blanket as well, and held on to your waist with one hand as the other patted your head in slow, comforting strokes.

Your lashes fluttered closed in solace and he sighed, looking down at you before he kissed your forehead.

The action made you look up at him through your lashes and when you notice his lingering stare you quickly look away, resting your cheek on his chest as you sigh contently.

The cliches were all true. There really is nothing compared to feeling at home in someone’s arms,  and for a moment you forgot about all the trauma and heartbreak.

You kiss his neck, feeling yourself doze off as he kept playing with your hair.

“Yeonjun…” you whisper.

The sound of your voice surprised him. He frowned as he looked down at you, halting his movements.

“Hmm?”

“Just so you know. I never stopped loving you.”  

Being in a lecture hall at 9 AM as if nothing had happened last night was literal torture.

You had to hear Mr. Davis ramble about stuff you already knew about, but he took attendance so there was no way you could skip out on it without failing his class.  

Though you had gotten a good night’s rest, it was hard to concentrate with everything going on and it was even harder to concentrate knowing you were being watched.

Yeonjun’s mom wasn’t playing when she said that you’d all get personal security as quickly as dawn came. They followed you around disguised as regular college kids and kept their distance. In some moments you forgot they were around but when you looked over your shoulder in the lecture hall as you felt a pair of eyes on you; the reality of things hit you again.

The lecture hall was filled with at least 200 students, so no one would bat an eye at their presence. They blended in perfectly, which was both reassuring yet scary because anyone with malicious intent could be doing the exact same thing.

You kept looking around the lecture hall with suspicion, completely zoning out and not paying attention. Mia, who was sitting next to you was dozing off, so you nudged her to keep her awake.

“You didn’t sleep?” you ask as you move a piece of her hair from her line of sight.

She sighed, shaking her head as she fixes her posture.

“No, Soobin and I stayed up all night to talk and once we fell asleep it was 5 AM,” she whispers.

“Did you…work things out?”  

“We talked, we’re nowhere near how it used to be but we agreed on working through this.”

You smiled to yourself. Good. They were both miserable without each other, and even though there were a lot of things left unsaid and unresolved, you were glad things were slowly going back to normal.

“How about you? Did you and Yeonjun talk about it?” She asks looking over her shoulder to see if no one was paying attention to your conversation and you catch yourself doing the same.

“No. I didn’t know how to, and he made it obvious that he didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, he’s going to have to sooner than later.”  

You nod in agreement. You basically haven’t solved anything with Mia, but it was nice to have her to talk to about all of this. Sort of? There was still a lot of communicating to be done but first, this whole Lita situation had to be fixed.  

“We never got to have that conversation back in your apartment either,” Mia says as she reminisced back to the moment your lives turned into an action movie.

“We will, soon.”

“Ladies!” your professor's voice bounced off the walls loudly and you immediately knew you were being called out for talking in his class.

“If you want to talk so badly you should’ve just joined the debate team,” he says clicking his tongue, and suddenly everyone's’ eyes were on both you and Mia.  

So much for keeping a low profile...

“Sorry.” You both say in unison.  

Just before Mr Davis was about to continue his lecture he made eye contact with you and stopped in his tracks. “Wait, y/n right?”

You frown in surprise, and so does Mia. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Stay after class, there's something I need to talk to you about.”  

Your eyes dart to Mia’s but she just shrugs, equally as confused as you are. You simply nod at your professors’ request and just like that he continues his class.

For the remaining half hour of the lecture, you were starting to wonder why he’d want to see you after class. When the lecture ended, you waited for most of the students to exit before you approached him on the stage with Mia trailing behind you after you asked her to.

Your invisible security guards waited outside of the door, and luckily Mr. Davis didn’t notice.

“I’m sorry Mia, this is a private matter.”  

Mia gave you a look but you just nodded that it was ok. You were dying to know what was going on by now.

“I’ll see you at lunch,” she says, and you nod as she walked out.

One of the security guards left with her, trailing behind her in the hallway and the other still stood at the entrance of the lecture hall. Watching you and Mr Davis while also skimming his surroundings with his eyes.

You take a deep breath and face your teacher. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes. Yes, I did.” He walks over to his desk and retrieves a stack of papers from his drawer and you immediately recognize the front page.

It’s the research paper you wrote right before summer. It is the paper you finished writing in the cafeteria when Soobin basically forbid you to date Yeonjun after he came over to your table to flirt with you. The irony of it all was off-putting.

You totally forgot about it. That paper resembled a new beginning in your life somehow, but why would your teacher want to talk to you about it? Was it that bad?

“Did I fail it?” you ask with concern evident in your eyes, but your teacher just gives you a look of confusion and starts laughing at you.

“Fail!? y/n this is the best paper I’ve read in my career as a teacher, that’s 20 whole years.” He says as he sat down on the edge of his desk, giving you a warm smile

Your eyes widen in surprise. “What?”

“Yes, in fact. I sent it to a former colleague at Brown University, and they were so impressed and intrigued by your hypothesis that they want to fund your research.”  He exclaims excitedly.

“I don’t….I don’t think I’m following sir…”  

“They want you to spend a semester there, so you can carry out your research. Your return depends on your work tempo and the development period. They’ll provide a living space and take care of all of your expenses. This is huge. y/n. None of my students have gotten an opportunity like this. This is quite the offer and to be blunt. I think you should take it.”

Your mind goes into overdrive.  

This is huge. Absolutely huge. A prestigious University like Brown had enough faith in your research to invest actual money into it. How did this happen?

“This…is a lot to take in,” you say a little dazed as you rake your hand through your hair.  

“I know, I will send you an email with all of the details. Give it a good thought and let me know by the end of the week. If you decide to go, you’ll leave as soon as possible. I’m so excited for you! You have no idea how big this could be for your future. This could re-write a lot about what we know about neuroscience. It’s groundbreaking.”

He gave you a pat on your shoulder as he started to pack his things into his briefcase. Leaving you with your graded paper in your hand as you look down at it.

You scored a 100.

A hundred? How did this even happen?  

It took you a full minute to collect yourself before you were able to walk out of that lecture hall.

You silently made your way outside, taking a deep breath of fresh air before sitting down on a random bench to think things through, but when you heard the door open behind you with your designated security guard nonchalantly standing beside the door as he tried not to disturb you, you scoff in annoyance.

This had to stop. Quickly. You wanted your life back as soon as possible.

You swallow harshly as you stare at the large document in your hands.

Would you be able to leave everything behind for half a year or longer by yourself? Would you be able to leave your friends? Gyu, Tae, Hyuka, Mia, Soobin…Yeonjun.

You couldn’t imagine leaving him out of all of them. Even though Soobin and yourself haven’t spent more than 1 week apart since birth it wasn’t necessarily him you were worried about.  

It was Yeonjun. What would this mean for your relationship? And what kind of partner would you be if you decided to leave him behind in the midst of the hardest time in his life?

He needed you and you needed him. But you also knew that you couldn’t let an opportunity like this go for the sake of an undefined relationship with someone who caused you more harm than good.

This was a lot to think about but then it hit you that you didn’t even have the freedom to think.

You checked the time on your phone and realized you were running late to the only class you shared with all 6 of them; Advanced English.

It’s a class that mixed both different years and majors, and all of you applied for it during that picnic before summer, just for the hell of it. All of you wanted to share at least one class together and it was the only available option.

“Shit,” you huff under your breath before you quickly grab your things and make a run for it. Your security guard had trouble following you unnoticed like this, so he decided to keep an even larger distance.

As you make it to the classroom, it was already completely filled as you were the last one to arrive. Your shadow stayed outside, sitting down at an individual study booth where he could keep an eye on things, and you couldn’t be more glad that he didn’t follow you inside.

You apologize to your teacher for being late and make your way to a random table, avoiding the one your friends were sitting at.

All of their eyes darted to you in confusion, but Yeonjun and Soobin looked at you a little worriedly.  

“Is she ok? Did she not see us?” Taehyun asks as he cocked his head to the side.

“She had to stay behind in our other class, maybe she’s upset?” Mia explains, shrugging her shoulders.

“Stay behind? Why?” Soobin asks raising his eyebrow as he looks at you with concern.

“I don’t know. Mr. Davis asked me to leave before he spoke to her.”  

Beomgyu sighs. “He’s a dick. I hope he didn’t yell at her. He was my guidance coach last year”

“He’s only a dick to people who don’t do shit in his classes,” Hueningkai states rolling his eyes, which earned him a hard punch to his upper arm from Beomgyu.

Yeonjun watched you closely as Gyu and Hueningkai bickered as background noise. He could tell you were stressed by the way you were tapping your heel on the floor while you keep clicking your pen on your notebook. He sighed, closing his books as he grabbed his stuff.

Since the class was about to start, people were looking at Yeonjun for suddenly switching seats. You had no idea what was going on until you hear the chair next to you being pulled back.

Your eyes meet and your anxiety vanishes. He sat down without a word, taking your hand under the table while intertwining your fingers together in an attempt to calm you down.

He didn’t know what had you so out of it, but he figured being hunted by some unknown man commissioned by his housemaid was enough to have you lose your mind.

A few girls seemed to notice Yeonjun’s sweet actions which made them audibly swoon at his loving gesture, which made Taehyun, Beomgyu and Hueningkai gag a little while Mia and Soobin just gave each other knowing looks.

He rubbed those comforting circles into your hand and kissed your temple quickly before averting his attention back on the board.

Luckily this class was followed by a lengthy and desperately needed break. When your professor dismissed you all earlier than expected, your friends make their way to your table just as quickly as Yeonjun turned to face you fully.

You weren’t sure what to tell them yet, but you knew they had questions as to why you were late.

“Hey? Are you ok? Why did Mr. Davis make you stay back?” Soobin asks as he sat down on the corner of your table.

Beomgyu started to randomly play with the ends of your hair, Mia stood beside Yeonjun and Hyuka and Tae stood beside you waiting with anticipation.

You got up, clearing your throat. “Uhm, he wanted to talk to me about the paper I handed in before summer.”

“Oh no, did you fail?” Beomgyu asks with sad eyes.

You shake your head, pulling the report out of your bag, placing it on the table so all of them could look at it.

“A 100!?” Taehyun gasps.

“Wow. You fucking nerd.” Beomgyu says rolling his eyes. “This is why you’re down? What’s wrong with you.” Hueningkai adds as he gently nudges your shoulder.

Yeonjun looks from the paper to you with big and proud eyes. He gives you a tender smile as he caresses your cheek. “This is incredible. I’m so proud of you,” he speaks with sincerity.

You bite your lip as you nod absentmindedly and force out a smile.  

“Can we go have lunch. I’m starving.” Taehyun says as he walks out of the classroom first, followed by an equally hungry Beomgyu and Hueningkai.

As they left Soobin turns to you. “Ok, so what’s really wrong.”

“Nothing. The whole being followed everywhere thing is just getting to me I guess.”

“I’m so sorry.” Yeonjun says as he avoids eye contact. His tone was somber, and suddenly you feel bad.

“Hey, look at me,” you say as you tug on his chin. “None of this is your fault. You can’t blame yourself for what’s happening. This is out of your control, do you understand?” your tone was stern as you spoke to him. You talked to him as if you were trying to make a child understand something but it was necessary.

You needed him to understand.

He bit his lip, wanting to disagree with you but Soobin jumped in to back you up. “She’s right. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Everything will be okay.”  

You had one more class left for the day but you decided to skip it, not being able to focus on anything else other than the life-changing decision you would have to make soon.  

You desperately needed to consult someone about this and even though things weren’t quite the same between you two, the only person you can confide in about something like this was Mia.

Soobin would be too emotionally involved, and even though Mia is too, she’d be more rational about things.  

She was on your couch, reading the email Mr. Davis sent you and her eyes widened right before she started yelling.

“WHAT!? BROWN! THIS IS HUGE!?”

“I mean don’t get me wrong, our school is great…but it’s no Brown University.”  she gulps with enlarged pupils.

You sigh, relieved to know that she’s excited for you, but then the inevitable question came up.

“How long? Like a few weeks?” she asks with an excited twinkle in her eyes.

You shake your head. “More like a few months…6 to be exact.”  

And suddenly her smile falters. “Oh…”

“Yeah…oh.” You say mimicking her as you sit down next to her.

“I- well…that’s a lot to think about,”  Mia says with a pout. It was finally clicking to her why you were so out of it earlier today.

“I know…” you say as you stare into distance, losing yourself in your thoughts once again.

“What’s holding you back?” Mia asks as she studies you. You look back at her with sad eyes and without a word, she could already guess what you were about to say.

“Yeonjun?” she assumes and you nod in response.

“It just doesn’t seem right to leave him in the midst of all of this.”

“Y/n…don’t you think distance might be exactly what you need from him? If you are meant to be, it’ll be. And if you think of it. Maybe time apart is what you need. This is the perfect opportunity to heal individually and come back as better people…so you can be better together.”

Well. She has a point there.  

“It’s not like I want you gone, fuck no. I’m gonna miss you so much and I’m pretty sure Soobin will fall apart without you but…y/n this is a once in a lifetime type of opportunity.” Mia says as she wraps an arm around you.

You sigh, moving into her hold to hug her. She’s surprised by the action, not thinking you were ready for that yet, you know; given everything that happened, but you desperately needed a hug right now. Mia tightened her hold on you and sighed.

“You’ll be okay. And we’ll all just be a phone call away.”

A single tear escapes from your eye and you let go of her, wiping it away while trying to contain your emotions.

You know you have to go. You really do. But what you don’t know is how to tell Yeonjun.

“Will you help me write the email to Mr. Davis? I’m going to tell him that I’m going.”

Mia gave you a weak smile, wiping away the watery remnants of your tear away from your cheek. She sighed, scooting closer to you.

“Of course.”

“Hyung, pass the ball,” Taehyun says with a raised eyebrow as he watches Yeonjun dribble the ball absentmindedly for over 30 seconds.  

They had practice, and even though Yeonjun wasn’t feeling up to it at all, he knew he had to go. He had to live his life like he normally would and basketball practice was one of those ‘normal’ things.

Yeonjun snapped out of his thoughts and passed the ball to Taehyun before looking over his shoulder to watch one of the security details on the benches.

A lot of people came to watch during practice, so it wouldn’t be noticeable, but Taehyun has the wit of a mind reader, therefore he immediately caught on to who Yeonjun was looking at.

“Who’s that?” Taehyun asks as he passes the ball back to Yeonjun. He swiftly caught it, looking at Taehyun with wide eyes. “Ehm, don’t know. A scout maybe?”  

Taehyun narrowed his eyes at Yeonjun and sighed. “I know you and Soobin are keeping secrets from the rest of us. We’re not dumb hyung, or at least I’m not.”

Yeonjun sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Just trust us. Once all of it is over we’ll tell you.”

“Once what is over?” he tried again.

“Taehyun.” Yeonjun’s voice was strict, it was a clear warning for Taehyun to stop asking questions but the younger one wasn’t quite having it.

He rolled his eyes, dropping the ball as he walked off to a different teammate.  

The last thing Yeonjun wanted was to create a distance between all of them but he had no choice. The fewer people knew, the better it’d be.

Soobin stood in the corner, watching them closely, and approached once Taehyun walked off in annoyance.

He sighed, patting Yeonjun on the shoulder which made Yeonjun jump at the unexpected touch.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just me.” Soobin speaks as he fixes a piece of Yeonjun’s hair, which made him smile at Soobin softly.

“The boys are getting suspicious,” Yeonjun states as he eyes them from afar with his arms crossed.

“Yeah, this morning Beomgyu asked me why we were being secretive,” Soobin says doing the same.

“Beomgyu did?”  

“Yeah…”

“Well then it must be fucking obvious cause he’s oblivious.”  

Soobin chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, they’ll understand once we-” he got cut off by the buzzing of Yeonjun’s phone. Soobin watched Yeonjun carefully as he looked at the caller ID.

“It’s my mom,” Yeonjun says with big eyes.  

Soobin lips form an ‘o’ as he steps closer to check his phone. “Well, pick it up?”  

“Wait, come with me to the dressing rooms,” Yeonjun says as he drags Soobin with him.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai were watching them run off together from the bleachers.

Hueningkai’s eyes followed them as he raised his eyebrows in confusion. “First they don’t talk to each other for a week, and now they don’t talk to us.”

“I don’t know what’s going on with them either,” Beomgyu says as he clings onto Taehyuns arm while resting his head on Tae’s shoulder. “I just want all of us to get along like we used to.”

Taehyun pouts. “Then let’s find out what’s going on with them.”

As the boys kept speculating about the situation, Soobin and Yeonjun had locked themselves in a dressing room; making sure that no one was around before Yeonjun answered the phone, putting it on speaker so both of them could hear clearly.  

“Mom?”  

“What took you so long?” His mothers’ voice was clear and calm, yet cold.

“I had to go somewhere secluded, I was in the middle of practice,” he carefully explains. Yeonjun always had the feeling he had to walk on eggshells around his mom, even in a situation like this. “Soobin is also here by the way.”  

“Oh…well. I’m just going to cut to the chase. Lita confessed.”  

Yeonjun’s eyes darted to Soobin’s equally enlarged ones as his heart dropped. He gulped, as did Soobin. He didn’t understand how Yeonjun’s mother could break the news to him in such an insensitive way.  

He knew how much Yeonjun was hurting because of it, and confirmation would only make that worse, so why didn’t Yeonjun’s mother try to at least make an effort to soothe Yeonjun’s already gaping wounds?

“She did?” Yeonjuns eyes instantly started to fill with tears and Soobin noticed. Putting his head on Yeonjun’s shoulder as he quietly rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him.

Yeonjun couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that the woman that cared for him when no one else would, was a traitor. A cold-blooded traitor who was just after their money.  

Was it all a hoax? Did she never care for him at all? Or did something happen that made her turn on his family?  

This was the biggest betrayal of his life. If the one person that actually cared for him was able to hurt him like this, then what about everyone else? This ignited a whole new set of trust issues and yet another traumatic experience to talk about with his therapist and honestly, he didn’t know if he could take it anymore.

“She admitted to wanting to overthrow the company. But she did not admit to being behind the attempted assault to y/n. And since no one got hurt paired with the fact that there is no real evidence, we can’t incarcerate her for that.”

“What!?” Yeonjun exclaims in disbelief. “You’re telling me that we can’t press charges against Lita for trying to hurt y/n?”  

“I’m afraid not…you’re going to have to fly out again to testify as a witness. I don’t want to bother y/n too much so I’ll just have my people call her for questioning, however since you are the sole heir to Choi Enterprises, I’m going to need you there in court.” His mother states as if it’s nothing.

Yeonjun’s mind was spinning. He had too many questions and too little brain capacity to be able to ask all of them at once. He swallowed harshly as Soobin motioned to Yeonjun to give him the phone, and without a thought, he did.

Soobin cleared his throat before speaking, hoping not to be out of line by doing so, but he could tell Yeonjun was having a hard time to collect his thoughts.

“Hello mam, this is Soobin. Uhm, I hope it’s ok.”

“Oh, hi. Yes, of course. Proceed.”

Soobin smacked his lips nervously, instantly intimidated by the sound of her voice yet he decided to speak anyway.

“How do we know for sure if Lita’s minions will stand down now that she got caught? And is she in jail now? I’m not quite sure if I get it. And do we need the security guards? It’s pretty bothersome and distracting to all of us…” Soobin says as he watches Yeonjun stare into nothingness.

He sighed awaiting a response. Soobin laced his fingers with Yeonjun’s to calm him down once more and it seemed to work as Yeonjun’s attention averted back to the conversation at hand.

“We won’t know for sure. But it’d be really stupid of her to try anything now that we’ve caught her. The security details will stay with you all until this is over with, that’s not up for discussion. And yes. Lita will rot in jail. I’ll make sure of it.”

Shivers ran down Soobin’s spine at the scary tone of Yeonjun’s mother. She was beyond reasoning with but could he blame her? A trusted family employee of over 20 years has made the ultimate betrayal. Soobin couldn’t imagine the hurt and anger she must be feeling right now, so he didn’t dare to go against her about the security guard situation.

Yeonjun’s lower lip trembled as he silently took the phone from Soobin again.

“Mom…” his voice was shaky. He sounded lost and scared, like a child calling out for his mother in distress.  

His mother immediately softened at the sound of his voice. Her heart hurting for him as the realization hit her. She had been in overdrive. Lacking sleep and working day and night to make sure Yeonjun and his friends were safe, but she didn’t stop to think about how he’d be feeling in the midst of all of this.

Her mind briefly flashed back to when she confronted Lita in her home office, surrounded by her security and private detectives. She reminisced to the horror on Lita’s face after getting caught for the unforgivable.  

She was so busy with making sure that Lita wouldn’t be a threat anymore, that she completely disregarded the fact that Yeonjun might be having the hardest time of them all.

Even though Lita was a trusted employee, their relationship didn’t go further than business, but Yeonjun was raised by her, and she completely forgot about that.

“I can’t take this…” a tear escapes Yeonjun’s eye. And another one, and another one. Wiping them away was no use as they kept coming, so he just let them fall freely. He silently sobbed while Soobin put Yeonjuns head on his shoulder, letting him weep like a baby as he still held on to Yeonjun’s hand.

His mother fell silent, unable to comfort her son because she didn’t know how.

“I’m sorry Yeonjun,” she says in almost a whisper. “I’m sorry you have to feel this type of pain. I will do everything I can to help you okay? I promise. Once the situation is dealt with I will get you the best team of people to help you with your troubles, I won’t mess up this time. I promise I’ll be there for you.”

Yeonjun sniffed, trying to collect himself to respond but he couldn’t. Promises are just words. Words that have meant nothing in his life.

“I don’t need a team of people mom, I need you,” his voice cracked. “I need this pain to stop. I just need my mother, not a lawyer or another therapist. I just need you. I need a parent.”

Soobin’s heart wrenched in his chest at the plea’s Yeonjun was making to his mother. He couldn’t imagine having this type of relationship with his own parents.

In the moment Soobin made a pledge with himself that no matter how much Yeonjun seems to fuck up, he won’t ever leave him behind. He will make sure to be the rock Yeonjun needs, regardless of his mother actually trying or not.

Taehyun, Beomgyu, and Hueningkai had their ears pressed against the door throughout the whole thing. As silence engulfed the space, the three of them looked at each other with enlarged pupils as shock took over their faces.

They put two and two together individually. Looking at each other with disheartened expressions.

“Oh no…” Taehyun says in a whisper.

You didn’t know how to tell them.  

You didn’t know how to tell Yeonjun or Soobin individually so you just invited all of the boys over at once to get it over with.  

It was nighttime by now and you figured you’d cook them all dinner given the fact that food always lures them to your place. Hopefully, the sweet taste of your homemade brownies would subside the bitter news you had to break to them.

Mia helped with everything, the table was fully decked out with all sorts of dishes and it was obvious you were overcompensating for something but they had no clue yet.

When they got to your apartment, Yeonjun and Soobin were missing from the group which made you panic a little.  

“Damn what’s the occasion?” Beomgyu asks as his mouth waters, looking at the absolute feast you cooked up for them.

“Uhm, well. I have some news, but I have to wait for Yeonjun and Soobin to tell you guys.”

Mia awkwardly took place at the table between Hueningkai and Taehyun and Tae just stared at you. “Please tell me you’re not pregnant.”

“NO! Oh my god. Tae. No.” you give him a horrified look and pat your stomach.

“Thank god, I’m too young to be an uncle.” Hueningkai sighs in relief as he slouched in his seat.

“Yeah, when you said you were cooking us dinner cause you had an announcement to make I really thought Yeonjun finally knocked someone up.” Beomgyu snickers as he shoved a dumpling in his mouth.

You roll your eyes and look at the two empty seats. “Do you know where they are?”  

Your question triggered a silence so awkward, you’ve never experienced anything like it in your friend group.

Taehyun looked at Beomgyu, and Beomgyu looked at Hueningkai; while Hueningkai looked to Taehyun to take the lead.

“I-uhh…” Tae starts, but he stopped himself. He didn’t know how much you both knew of the situation so he decided against speaking about it.  

“They had some errands to run. I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”  

Beomgyu visibly relaxed in his seat at Tae made up an alibi for the boys’ whereabouts, but Mia – being the hyper-aware one – narrowed her eyes at them.  

The boys collectively agreed on pretending they didn’t know what was going on until either Yeonjun or Soobin would tell them themselves. They wanted to give them; and especially Yeonjun, time to process and didn’t want to push him into explaining the situation to them if he wasn’t ready for it.  

Also, they felt bad for eavesdropping and weren’t sure how to start the conversation even if they wanted to.

The twisting of your lock snaps you out of the moment and suddenly fear takes over your entire body. The trauma triggered by Lita’s minion trying to break your lock last night was the cause of your shocked Pikachu face, but when you see Soobin and Yeonjun in your door opening you relax instantly.

You gave Soobin a key, how could you forget.

“Oh, I didn’t expect you guys here so soon.” Hueningkai comments, which made Gyu and Tae look at him with threatening eyes.

“Where else would we be?” Soobin asks as he walks towards the table. He greeted you with a kiss on your head, and Mia with a kiss on her cheek before he sat down next to you.

The distance between Mia and Soobin was still odd, he’d normally kiss her lips but he played it off well as he slid his chair towards the table while eyeing the food closely.

Yeonjun on the other hand; greeted you with a soft smile while simply petting your head before he sat down on the opposite side of Soobin.  

The atmosphere was odd. Yeonjun was uncharacteristically quiet but you figured it was because of everything that was going on and honestly you couldn’t blame him. His head must be the fullest out of all of you, so you made sure to keep the conversation light and airy.

Your funny group dynamic slowly returned, and before you knew it, it was already time for dessert.  

“I’ll help you.” Yeonjun offered as he cleared the table.

You were in your kitchen, taking a deep breath as you were cutting up the last brownie, prettily putting it on a plate with some red berries on the side.  

As Yeonjun approached with the dishes, he watched you carefully. He put the dirty plates in the sink before he nudged your shoulder softly to get your attention, pulling you out of your concentration of perfectly assembling your masterpiece.

You look up, and you’re met with his beautiful soft smile. His eyes were glistening and he sighed contently. “You went all out,” he comments as he watches you do your thing. “Yeah, maybe I should deliver one to my designated security guard in the parking lot,” you joke under your breath and even though your sense of humor was pretty dark given the situation, he seemed to appreciate it as he giggled. Your heart did a thing at the sound. You missed it. You missed hearing his loud laugh. You missed seeing him happy.

“There’s actually new information I want to share with you and Mia, but we’ll have to wait until the boys leave.”

You look at him shortly before you avert your gaze back on the task at hand. You really didn’t know if the timing was right to talk about your exchange to Brown University but given the fact that you were leaving so soon, you also knew that you didn’t have much of a choice.

Suddenly you felt guilty again for leaving in the midst of all of this, but he’d understand? Right?  

You nod absentmindedly and tell him to sit down with the others so you could start decking the table and once everyone had a plate, you stood at the edge of your dinner table looking at them nervously.

They all give you puzzled looks, while Mia gave you a reassuring nod.

“So…they’re Brownies.”

Soobin chuckled, raising his eyebrow. “I can see that.”

“No well…they’re…brownies for…Brown University,” you explain nervously.

“Huh?” Beomgyu breaks the silence, his eyes darting from the plate to you.

All eyes were on you by now, expectantly waiting for you to continue.

“Remember that paper from this morning?”

“The one you got a 100 on?” Hueningkai asks.

“Yes, well. Uhm. Mr Davis sort of, might’ve sent it to a representative at Brown…and they want to like…fund my research or whatever,” you say avoiding eye contact as you fidget with the sleeves of your blouse.

“Brown!? Dude. That’s…insane!” Taehyun exclaims enthusiastically.  

“God, and here I thought you really were pregnant.” Beomgyu huffs. “But this is amazing!”

“Yes, congratulations sis, you really deserved it!” Hueningkai says with a bright smile.  

You look at them with an elated facial expression, happy that they’re happy for you. But then you turn your head and look at Soobin who has literal tears in his eyes.

“…Soobin?” you lean in to see if your eyes were deceiving you but they weren't. His eyes really were teary.

“Hyung are those tears?” Taehyun asks wide-eyed.

He sniffed, wiping his eyes as he got up from the chair to trap you into a tight hug. “I’m just really proud of you,” he mumbles.  

As you’re trapped in his bear-hug, your nerves fade. “Finally some good news,” he whispers into your ear. And you close your eyes at the solace of this peaceful moment.

Yes, it really is good news. And only now you realize just how amazing it is that you’ve accomplished this all on your own. You finally get to be happy about it now that you’ve told them.

When he let go, you finally make eye contact with Yeonjun and he had an equally proud smile on his face to match Soobin’s.

“This is amazing, y/n. You earned it.” he says with glistening pupils and your heart raced at his sweet remark.

“So, how long will you be gone for? Like a week? Two weeks?” Beomgyu asks as he chews on the fudgy brownie you made them.

Oh…shit. You didn’t tell them how long you’d be gone for.

You shoot Mia a panicked look but her facial expression only matched yours.

“Uhm…”  

All eyes were on you again. They were full of hope, expectation, and pride; and for some reason, you knew you were going to ruin the moment.

“It’s…about a semester-long,” you admit, and all of their facial expressions fall at the same time.

“That’s…six months.” Soobin realizes. It hit him that his best friend; who he’s never been more than a week without, will leave his side for half a year for the first time in his life.

“Damn…that’s a long time…” Taehyun says looking from you to Yeonjun with concern.

You didn’t dare look at him, but you knew that all of them were.

Mia bit her lip as she looked at how sad Soobin had gotten, but her gaze averted to Yeonjun and her look changed from sadness to confusion.

Yeonjun was…smiling.

Your eyes found his as he smiled at you fondly. He’s dying inside, but of course, he wouldn’t tell you that. There’s no way in hell he’d ruin this moment for you.

He had to man up and show his best fake smile because he’d never guilt trip you into not going. The opportunity was too big to let go, and honestly. You being far, very far away from this whole mess kind of eased his mind.  

You’d be safe.  

Without him around.

“What?” he asks trying to sound genuinely confused as to why everyone was looking at him.

“Aren’t you…upset?” Mia asks carefully, which made Yeonjun look at her briefly before looking at everyone’s equally worried facial expressions, including yours.

You expected every possible reaction, except this one, and it lowkey scared you.  

“How could I be upset?” he says with an eye-smile as he breaks off a piece of the brownie, shoving it into his mouth while giving all of you innocent puppy-eyes.

Someone get this man an Oscar.  

You didn’t know if you should be happy or sad that he reacted the way he did. You’d rather have him yell at you for leaving him, that’d be a lot less unnerving than the scarily calm and collected man sitting in front of you right now.

“Hyung, she’s leaving for half a year.” Beomgyu tries to make this clearer, thinking that Yeonjun didn’t understand, but he did, fully.

“I know. Look, I will obviously miss y/n. But what good will it do if I let my emotions get the best of me right now? This is supposed to be a joyful moment. She’s worked for this her whole life guys. Let’s be proud and happy for her. It’s almost like you all want me to freak out?”

Every single one of you was absolutely dumbfounded by his comment. It was mature of him, that’s for sure, but you expected at least some emotion other than this capitalist smile he had on his face.

“Let’s give them some time alone,” Soobin says as he got up. “I will talk to you later.” He states as he passes by you, squeezing your hand in reassurance.  

Your pupils dart from him to Mia and the rest of the boys in panic. Oh no, please don’t leave.

Yeonjun still sat at your dinner table like a robot while the rest of them quickly thanked you for dinner as they left your place, taking their brownies with them.

They all followed Soobin obediently and after Mia whispered in your ear to call her if anything popped off, she left. And you were all alone with Yeonjun.

You turn around on your heels. Making your way to your dinner table again as your heart thumped in your chest.

You carefully approach him, pulling out a chair to sit beside him and you just silently take his hand.

He refused to make eye contact with you, and suddenly you felt like the biggest dick in the universe.

“Please don’t make me say it,” he says.

“Say what?” you squeeze his hand, waiting for him to respond.

“Please don’t make me tell you that I want you to stay, because I do. But I could never, ever be that selfish.”

“Yeonjun….I’m the selfish one.”

His eyes shot up to look at yours. His pupils were dilated, alarmed, and startled. 

“No, you’re not. You’re going. End of story, and when you come back, I’m going to love you just as much, maybe even more than when you left.”

Your eyes start to fill with tears, and he’s quick to notice as he pulled you into his lap, cradling you like a baby.

“Hey, shhh. Don’t cry.” his voice was laced with sadness as he watched you cry. He hated the sight more than anything and tried to wipe your tears with his thumbs.

“Yeonjun, I don’t want to abandon you.” You sniff into his neck as all the tension and nerves of making this life-altering decision get to you.

It’s not like you weren’t coming back, but 6 months is a long time. You weren’t the same person you were 2 months ago, let alone 6.

“You’re not, don’t say that.”

“I don’t want you to hate me,” you mumble as you sniff.

“I could never hate you y/n. Ever.” He assured you of his true feelings as he rubbed your back, trying to soothe your pain as you cried into the crook of his neck.

His cold fingers caressed your cheek, and he closed his eyes for a second. Listening to you cry softly in silence as he contemplated on what to say.

“This is supposed to be a good thing baby…why are you crying.”  

Baby. He hasn’t called you that in a while.

"Because I don't want to leave you."

He was trying his hardest to keep it together, but to be honest he was one push away from a mental breakdown.

He needed you, now more than ever. But Yeonjun would never tell you that, cause you’d stay for him, and he knew it.

“Maybe space is what we need,” he says with a heavy heart, and your tears immediately stopped.

You look up at him. What did he just say to you?

He sighed, tracing his fingers over your lips before tugging at your chin to pull you closer. He placed his lips on yours and kissed you softly, passionately, and lovingly before he pulls away to rest his forehead against yours.

“Let’s be real y/n. Being with me has only complicated things. Maybe we can use these 6 months and try to grow separately before we can be great together…”

Mia said the exact same thing, but if he’s saying what you think he’s saying; then you honestly didn’t want to hear it.

Long-distance would be rough, but it’d be better than not having him at all.

You wipe your tears away with your sleeve and sniff once again, trying to collect yourself before you start to speak again.

“You want to end whatever it is that we have?”

“No…and yes…”

“Why…” you sounded absolutely broken as your voice cracked, it made his heart hurt for you so he sighed loudly. Looking you in the eye with desperation.

“Because I can’t love you the way you deserve to be loved y/n. At least not now. I'm...fucked up.”

You look at him with glassy eyes, shocked to hear his confession. You leaving was just the final straw. He has tried to do this before when he planned to stay back home and work for Choi Enterprises, but this was the first time he said it. With actual words.

“Why? What changed. I thought that-”

“Lita confessed.” He interrupts you before you could make any assumptions yourself.  

“W-what?”

“She confessed, I have to leave for home next Wednesday to testify against her in court. Everything’s going so fucking fast…”

“Next Wednesday? I also leave next Wednesday...” you mumble softly.

His eyes grew big. “You’re leaving that soon?”

You nod, biting your lip, and notice how Yeonjun had trouble putting his thoughts into words so you encourage him by caressing his cheek, nodding at him to let him know that it was ok to say whatever was on his mind; even if it didn’t make sense.

He rubbed his temple in agony before avoiding your piercing gaze as he spoke. “I thought I had enough to deal with when my dad died, but her confessing that she was capable of doing all the things she’s done felt even worse than my fathers’ death. This time it feels like I lost a real parent y/n. I don’t’ know how to move on from this…”

“And this is exactly why I’m not leaving,” you say getting up in a hurry as you frantically start looking for your phone.

He watched you a little startled at your sudden changed demeanor and got on his feet just as quick.

“Hey, hey, hey.” He grabbed your wrists, making you look at him. “What are you doing?”

“Finding my phone, I’m calling Mr. Davis. I’m canceling the whole thing.”

“No, you’re not.” Yeonjun’s tone was serious.

“You are going. You are going to take this once in a lifetime opportunity, and change history with your research do you hear me? You could help so many people with this. It’s your passion. Your dream. And you’re telling me you’re ready to drop all of that…because of me?”

You didn’t know what else to do other than nod. Yes. You were ready to drop it all for him, but Yeonjun just shook his head in disbelief.

“No, y/n. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For saying what I’m about to say, but you’re not going to ruin your life like this. I won’t drag you down with me. I won’t ever let that happen.”

“So what are you saying?” you looked at him with teary eyes, your pupils darting back and forth before he let go of you.

‘I’m saying that…we need to hit pause on whatever this is.” He couldn’t believe he said this.

He really didn’t. And he felt instant regret as he watched your face crumble.

He wasn’t the only one with abandonment issues, because so were you.

He promised your dad that he’d never break your heart, yet here he was. In your living room, looking at you fall apart, and he was the cause of it all.

“I’m sorry y/n. I love you. I really do. That’s why I’m doing this,” he says as he cups your face in his hands. Tears were also starting to fall from his eyes by now, and you just stood there in his hold. Completely lost and frozen.

“Please don’t hate me,” he whispered as he buried his face in your hair to muffle his soft sobs. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, holding on to you one more time before he couldn’t anymore. He took the chance and kissed you once more. You let his lips ghost over yours before you pull away.

“I could never hate you Yeonjun.”  

Before you knew it, Wednesday rolled around.

It felt like only yesterday when you told your friends that you were leaving, and today you actually were.

Soobin helped you with your suitcase as the rest of them trailed behind you with long faces.  

They were all there to send you off, except for Yeonjun. He had to leave early to catch his flight back home to testify against Lita in court, and honestly, you were glad he wasn't here right now. Seeing him again after your tearful goodbye was something you weren’t ready for.

The timing of things was just incredibly wrong, and you wished you were able to support him throughout the whole legal process and emotional storm he had to go through back home but you couldn’t, and you both already made peace with it.

You were a single woman again. Leaving to live a different life at a new school.

You both decided it’d be for the better like this since both of you were going to walk different life paths from now on, at least for the next six months. It wasn’t certain if things would go back to normal upon your return in the future and that uncertainty is what hurt you the most.

With a heavy heart, you turn around to face your friends when you arrive at the check-in desk, and without a word, a big group hug is formed.

“We’ll miss you,” Hueningkai mumbles into the hug.

“Even I will.” Taehyun sighs.

You let go of them with a smile, knowing you have to put on a brave face for this to not turn into yet another emotional tear-fest.

“I’ll be back before you know it. And it’s not like I’m dying guys. There’s this thing called the internet. We can still see and talk to each other.” You chuckle as you nudge Beomgyu who was pouting at you and you wrap an arm around Taehyun who was standing next to you.

You avert your gaze from the boys and make eye contact with Soobin who wasn’t the best at concealing his emotions.

He pouted as he sniffed, wiping his eye.  

Mia chuckled. “Are you crying AGAIN?”  

“No. I have something in my eye.”

“Yes. I can see it.” Beomgyu says as he leans forward to look into Soobin’s eyes dramatically. “It’s a dust particle called little bitch.”

“Shut up.” Soobin huffs as he shoves the younger one away, and all of you burst into laughter.

Thank god for that moment of laughter, it took the edge off and made everything a lot less emo.  

You had a long talk with Soobin the night before when he helped you pack your stuff. The hard part was over with, though you could tell he was still struggling to let you go. But he knew that it was all for the greater good.  

You sighed as you walked up to him for a tight hug, and as you let go of each other you give Mia a smirk “Look after him for me will ya.”

“You know I will.” She smiles at you as she pulls you in for a hug as well, and suddenly it got really warm again as the boys wrapped themselves into the hug once more.

You giggle, looking at them one last time before you take a hold of your suitcase.

The check-in for your flight had started, and you were called to move in line.

“Bye guys.”  

You wave at each other as the distance became bigger and bigger, and when they were completely out of sight you’re able to breathe again.

You bite your lip, trying to suppress the urge to cry and run back to them. Run back to your safety net of the people you loved and cared for the most, but you knew you had to do this.

You were excited to start a new adventure, but you wished you didn’t have to sacrifice so much to be able to do it.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket as you sat at your gate, lost in thought while you waited to board the airplane.

Your eyes widen when you saw his name pop up in your notifications and quickly open your messenger app.

[Yeonjun, 10.43 AM]: Good luck on your new journey and have a safe flight. I wish I could be there to send you off but just know I’m thinking of you. Always.  

[Yeonjun, 10.44 AM]: Take care y/n. I love you.

Chapter 14 - The Finale  

[theonewiththefanfics]

Because Hearts Get Broken - I Know That You’re Scared (Part 2/3)

Continuation of ‘Because Hearts Get Broken’ - see my masterlist for it :)

Synopsis: She’s trying to move on. He’s still hoping for a chance

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: angsty, bruh, but with a sprinkle of fluff and a hopeful (??) ending

Warnings: swearing, emotionally distant mindset... can’t think of anything else, really. 

Word count: 3656

Heartbreak isn’t loud. Y/N doesn’t even know if it had a sound what it would be like. Like glass shattering against the ground? Or maybe like a book being ripped and shredded apart, memories of time spent together ruined. Or maybe it'd like the crackle of a fire, as it slowly but surely crept up and turned everything into charred remains before it became nothing but ash and was carried away by the winds.

        No one in her family talked about feelings. If they did all they received back was ‘suck it up. That’s life’. After that, it was time to move on. So, when she got together with probably the most open-hearted person in the world, it was almost laughable.

        Y/N had always been the friend others went for advice, relationship or not, but she herself never asked for one, simply because she didn’t wanna bother anyone. Not that she thought the others were bothers. It’s just having grown up in a household where emotions were basically suppressed, opening up was quite impossible. 

       Then came Harry. Perfect, impossible, loving, sweet, kind, ridiculously open Harry. God, she just wanted to punch him because no one should be that nice. 

        January 2nd, 2020 he’d called her up, having gotten Y/N’s number from Sarah (after ages of pleading, because as much as Sarah sometimes couldn’t handle drunk Y/N, she’d defend and protect her until the very last breath), and they set up a coffee date.

        Slowly but surely, they spent more and more time together and seeing as her job had her based in LA for a while, visiting Harry was no problem. Then the pandemic hit, and on March 18th the whole stay-at-home order was issued in California. 

        Y/N was in a panic. She was meant to leave LA in ten days, and the hotel her company was paying for had been paid until the 28th. With all flights getting rapidly cancelled, she was scrambling to get one, but even her firm was unable to get her a seat. That’s when Harry had called up, his tone a worried, urgent mess as to if Y/N was alright and what her plans were.

        Of course, him being him, he immediately offered her a place to stay.

        “We don’t even need to stay in the same room, there’s like five other guest rooms you can take up,” he tried to joke, and ease her tension.

        “Fuck, Harry, just rub it in how rich you are.” Y/N cackled, and when she heard him laugh in the background, her heart did that stupid fluttery thing she’d grown so used to. 

        It took a little persuasion from Harry’s side, and reassurance at least seven more times, that Y/N wouldn’t be intruding on his space, and he was more than happy to spend the quarantine with someone else, instead of being alone, and that in no way her taking over a room or two would limit him and his own artistic endeavours. So, apprehensively Y/N packed her suitcases, grabbed an uber, wearing a mask the whole time, and drove to Harry’s place.  

When Y/N saw the gated community and the palace he was living in, the inside of her cheek was practically bitten in half. They’d barely been together for three months, and now she was basically moving in with him, but given how it was either live with Harry in a fucking mansion or walk across the country to New York, she took the first option. 

        As much as Harry loved on her, pretty much shagging her brains out every possible second, and loving on her until her cheeks hurt from smiling, the anxiety about the whole situation never left.

Harry was worried about his mom and sister, Y/N was scared of what was happening in New York. So, when the state boarders opened, immediately, although reluctantly, she flew back to her apartment and her dying plants, but never forgetting to FaceTime with Harry. But they couldn't stay away long from one another.

        Which is why they decided, given how she was able to work from home now, and Harry could do so as well, they’d fly over to one another every two weeks, quarantine together for the next two weeks, and then fly to the other place. Her boss actually loved the idea that Y/N was so willing to go back and forth between the two cities, so all her flights were written off as business expenses, not to mention when she said she wouldn’t need a hotel, he was more than thrilled to let her be in LA whenever she wanted, as long as her work got done.

        It seemed funny to her now, that before Y/N couldn’t wait to get back to the sunny state of Cali. Now when she had to fly over (which was just a couple of times since the breakup), going through JFK security made her sweat, and landing was a vomit-inducing action. And the last time she’d gotten back to the home-base state, she’d actually thrown up, Harry’s last words ringing in her ears.

        It’d been three weeks since Sarah’s New Year party, and three weeks since she’d spoken to him although he still kept calling. Every morning she’d wake up to a couple of notifications of missed calls, and each time she’d listen to the messages; it was all the same – I miss your voice. And every time she’d listen to it, her thoughts were exactly the same. You could say it was almost pathetic as to how many times she’d listened to his albums, just to hear him sing. Almost like he used to do right before she fell asleep.

        But Y/N had no one else but herself to blame for it. She’d been the one to call it quits, she’d been the one who walked out of his apartment, and the one who decided she wouldn’t fight. 

        Now, she was sat by her small magazine table, documents spread out in front of her as if a tornado had rolled through, while an apple and cinnamon candle spread its delicious scent through the air. 

        Y/N would only admit it once because, well, the proof was all over the apartment, but she was very lazy when it came to taking away the Christmas décor. It made her feel warm and comfy. And it reminded her of Harry. How when she’d woken up after their first date, already in the new year, he still had colourful fairy lights strung across the curtain rods, giving everything a soft, cosy glow. 

        He’d also been the one who convinced her that a real Christmas tree was so much better than a plastic one. 

        “Yes, it’s a hassle,” he’d said through slurred words as they’d slinked away from the partying crowd after the countdown was done, and each of them had taken three shots of vodka. “But it’s so worth it. Smells like a fucking forest in your room. Like proper Christmas!”

        And although she’d spent this holiday season alone, Harry had been right. Just like he’d been right about Y/N.

        She tapped her pen against the glass surface and readjusted her position on the floor.

        “This is the periodic table, noble gases stable, halogens and alkali react aggressively,” Y/N hummed as she highlighted the incorrect parts of the paper in front of her. “Each period will see new outer shells, while electrons are added moving to the right.”

        Just as she was about to start off the second verse, her doorbell rang, and her stomach gurgled in response.

        “Ugh,” she groaned to herself. “Pasta come to fuckin’ mama.”

        But when she opened the door, she wasn’t greeted by the Uber Eats delivery man.

        “Harry.”

        Y/N was taken aback. She didn’t expect him to visit her, especially not so soon and especially to fly out to New York (as much as he was most likely there to do other stuff as well, her gut told her he was there for her). 

Sure, she hoped that one day they could be friends, if not acquaintances, he was too important of a person for her to lose completely from her life, but that was looking like five years into the future.

        “I bring gifts.” He raised his hand where her boxes of food hung in a paper bag. “Can I?”

        “Uh, yeah, of course!” She shook her head to clear it from the shock and allowed Harry to enter into the warmth of her apartment and escape from the cold January air.

        “I was on my way up when the delivery man came in, and I recognised by the boxes it was yours.” The smirk on Harry’s face was something Y/N loved to see, but usually, she liked to also wipe it away. Preferably with her own lips. 

        She let out a small scoff, not waiting to see if he followed inside, as she scurried to the adjacent kitchen and grabbed two plates, while he opened up the white cardboard containers and allowed the delicious smell of spaghetti Bolognese as well as a carbonara waft into the air. Y/N had wanted to eat the latter at some point during the night when the munchies hit, but she supposed Harry was probably hungry as well. “Maybe there’s someone else here, who likes Italian.”

        “Probably, but only you would order from the shittiest Italian restaurant just because they have pesto and parmesan bread.”

        “Hey!” She slapped his arm. “They’re not shit. They provide me with everything I need – calories, carbs and bread.”

        “What more does a person need?”

        “Exactly!”

        Both of them let out small chuckles and then settled down on her couch to dig into the meal. They ate in silence, and despite Y/N’s initial shock, it wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, they were sitting pretty much shoulder to shoulder, as she watched Harry re-read the spread-out articles on the table and use her marker to tick some stuff that could use re-wording. He had a knack for words, after all.

        “I uh…” He wiped his mouth with one of the napkins provided by the diner before clasping his fingers together and looking at the woman sitting next to him, as she slowly set her empty plate on the small cupboard beside the sofa. “I was hoping we could talk.”

        Y/N hung her head. She should’ve known he wasn’t here to just check-in and have some dinner. “We already did. Twice might I add. What makes you think this time the ending will be different?”

        “Third times the charm?” Harry let out a little laugh, and she rolled her eyes. “Look, I didn’t wanna leave everything the way I did. I – I said some pretty shit things.”

        Y/N fiddled with her thumb. ‘I had,’ Harry’s words echoed in her head. ‘Only she didn’t trust that I loved her the same.’ “Nothing that was untrue though.”

        “See, that’s where I think both of us are wrong.”

        That was not what Y/N thought this conversation would be whatsoever.

        “I – “ He cleared his throat. “I know I said I didn’t think you trusted me that I loved you enough. I think you know I did – do.”

        If Y/N still had any food in her mouth she would’ve choked on it, as she bit back the rising lump in her throat, but instead of interrupting him, she let Harry continue. “And honestly, it’s not your fault that it fell apart, ‘s my fault too. I pushed you to do something, you didn’t want to, weren’t comfortable with, when you told me not to… just because I wanted to feel important, ‘nd because I wanted to get a role in your life you weren’t ready for yet. And I’m sorry for doing that. I should’ve never forced you.”

        “Harry…” Y/N was at a complete loss. “I – I don’t really know what to say.”

        He took her left hand in his and clasped it, finally able to properly say what'd been eating away at him. “During the New Year party, I didn’t go about it the right way. I was just – I was just still so hurt, and I wanted you to hurt the same because… it didn’t seem like you cared at all, which I know you did… I know you loved me, and…” He took in a deep breath. “I hope that you still do. At least enough to give us another chance. We can take it at your pace,” he instantly added, knowing how she’d react, expecting the sigh and the almost tired and resigned ‘Harry’ that escaped her lips. But he’d say everything on his mind. “You can take how long you need to feel like you can trust me with what’s bothering you.”

        “Harry,” she repeated, but it didn’t seem like he was about to stop.

        “But I think we can do it, and we can do it right this time. We know where we stand, we won't make the same mistakes.”

        Y/N’s hand came to rest against his cheek, and he practically melted, engulfing her palm with his as to not let her touch leave his skin for even a second. “Are you even listening to yourself?”

        “Look, I know, you’re scared, and the thing is, so am I. I don’t want it to end like that or end. Period. But I do want to try again.”

        And if nothing but to humour him Y/N asked, “And if it does end the same way?”

        “It won’t.” He was so sure of it, she had to laugh.

        “Harry, the big difference between us is – you like to talk about your feelings. You like to go through them and stuff. I don’t. I feel… icky when I even think about talking to someone of what I feel. We’re just too opposite.”

        “Opposites attract.”

        “No,” she pointed a finger at him, stifling her laughter, though Harry seemed not to be hiding his smile. “Do not use science against me.”

        He raised his hands as if in surrender. “I’m not, I’m just supporting my point with facts. Scientific facts, that you can’t argue against.”

        “I mean…” Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno… Maybe it was a good thing we ended it when we did. It was ten months – almost ten – amazing months, but… can you imagine if we’d gone so far as to think about moving in together, and then it fell apart? That would’ve been a whole different kind of a mess.”

        “Do you love me?”

        Y/N sighed, resting her cheek against the couch while she smoothed away his brown locks from his face. “Of course, I do. Don’t think there will be a time in my life I don’t.”

        “Then that’s all I need.”

         “Is that really enough for you?”

        “Yes.”

        And there was no lie in that single word. Did he want for Y/N to feel comfortable enough with him that she talked about whatever concerned her, however small? Of course. But he also wanted her to be comfortable enough to be herself. If that meant her keeping things to herself, and trusting Harry to support her decisions, it’d be enough.

        Her Y/E/C eyes hadn’t left his green ones, and they only widened as he leaned forwards and pressed his forehead to hers.

        “Haz…”

        Fuck, how he’d missed her calling him that. It wasn’t an exclusive nickname by any means, but when it came from Y/N’s mouth, it was the sweetest sound in the universe.

        He was her Haz when he broke a plate, he was her Haz when she threw her head back as pleasure exploded through her body, he was her Haz when he took her hand in his to quell her anxiety, and he was her Haz when he gave her tissues as they watched a movie, and she couldn’t help but cry each time a dog or cat died (or a dragon, but he was a sobbing mess as well because ‘Dragonheart’ messed with them both).

        His lips were so close, and just as they skimmed over her own, Y/N’s phone rang making her physically spring back, eyes like saucers.

        “S – Sorry,” she stammered, scrambling to find the annoying device between the cushions. It was Sarah’s name that lit up her screen.

        “Hey, what’s up?” Y/N started, voice trembling and shaky. God, when had she suddenly gone so out of breath? And why was her head so dizzy, as if she’d just gotten off a rollercoaster?

        “Yeah, he’s here,” she replied, eyeing Harry. “Yeah, just a sec,” and Y/N handed him her phone with a quiet ‘why’s your phone always dead?’

        ‘Didn’t know it died’, he said, but that was untrue. He’d turned it off so this sort of a situation wouldn’t happen; so a call or text wouldn’t interrupt him at the most critical moment. He had to give the universe a proper talk once he was done.

        “ ‘Ello?” 

        Seconds of silence passed, and Y/N didn’t like how weird it was, so she took the empty plates and put them in the sink to soak.

        “Now?”

        She could see the frustration rise in Harry as his forehead creased, and he let a hand rake through his hair. “Fuck’s sake… yeah, I’ll be there in ten. ‘S alright,” he sighed. “Not your fault Sarah. Tell Jeff not to worry, and that I’m not dead.”

        With that, he pressed the red button and ended the call, drumming his fingers against the screen. God, he really didn’t want to leave. Not now. Not after he’d been so close.

        “Uh, work?” Y/N asked, arms crossed in front of her as if she was protecting herself from the answer. 

        “Yeah, sorry. I uh a meeting from tomorrow got rescheduled for tonight, like right now because there was some sort of an emergency from the label’s side."

        “ ‘S alright, I get it. Showbiz never stops.” Y/N motioned to the door. “I’ll walk you out.”

        There were a couple of times in his life Harry wanted to give himself a beating. Once when he was six and Gemma had told on him after he’d broken a favourite vase of their mothers, he decided to get revenge and destroy her favourite plushie. He’d never forget the tears Gem had cried, and how absolutely heartbroken she’d sounded. He vowed although he was the little brother, to never ever let anyone hurt her like that, and if someone did, they’d meet their maker sooner rather than later.

        The second time was when he was still a teenager, One Direction on the rise, and it had gotten to his head just a little bit more than it should’ve. He’d gotten really messed up at a party (which Harry shouldn’t have even been at). The disappointment on his mother’s face as she scolded him through FaceTime was gut-wrenching enough to make him promise to always know the limit.

        And Harry guessed this was the third time.

        He could’ve said no to the meeting. Jeff was there and so was Sarah and Mitch. The three of them could handle it for him. It’s not like he would mind much whatever they came up with if it had given him the time to settle things with Y/N. 

        “It was great to see you, Harry.” She brought him out from the thoughts as she unlocked the door and opened it for him, bringing her jumper sleeves over her palms to hide from the cold outside air. “Really. I – I missed you, and honestly, I’m glad we got to talk. I uh well, take care. And say hi to Sarah from me please.”

        “I – “ he took hold of Y/N’s wrist before she could turn away. “I’m holding a small concert in a week. Here in uh in New York. It’s for charity… I want you to come.”

        “I umm… I’ll have to check if I’m free, but yeah. I will. Thank you.”

        “ ‘S no problem… Sarah missed you like crazy now that you’re not in LA as often… ‘n yeah. Anyway. I’ll put your name on the guest list, so just bring some ID, and they’ll let you backstage.”

        “Okay,” she whispered and gave him a small, genuine smile. “Thank you. I’ll really try to come.”

        “Yeah.”

        And he was going to go without doing anything else. Harry truly was. But as he released her wrist, going to the stairs, he gave Y/N one last glance back, and it was like his feet had a mind of their own, as they carried him back to where she stood by the still open door, grabbed her by the waist and pressed his lips to hers. 

        He expected Y/N to push him away, but to his very huge delight, she didn’t. Instead, her fingers wove through his hair and her legs almost on instinct rose so he could take her by the thighs, wrap them around his middle and press her against the doorway. 

        The groan that Harry swallowed from Y/N only ignited the fire that’d been burning ever since he met her, but it wasn’t the destructive kind, like the ones that leave nothing but charcoal behind. It was warm. Safe. Like the light of a fairy light. Like the embrace of home.

        “Come to the show,” he muttered against Y/N’s lips, as they broke apart, and he set her down on the ground, not letting go until he was sure she was steady on her feet. “I’ll wait for you.”

        With that, he left because if he didn’t, he’d make sure Y/N would be unable to walk for a week.

        And Y/N watched him retreat while her brain fought with her heart.

        What was it he’d sung in ‘Golden’, as he’d twirled her in the sea of bodies and glitter a little bit more than a year ago? ‘Loving is the antidote?’ 

        Maybe love was the antidote to her fear.

        She closed the door.

        And smiled.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue @im-squished

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15​ @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​

A/N: I’ve been listening to ‘Fine Line’, ‘The Periodic Table Song’, ‘Welcome to the Christmas Parade’ (Welcome to the Black Parade mix with All I Want For Christmas) and ‘Rasputin’ Boney M remix exclusively... I feel like a complete crackhead... :D

Decided to tag also those who wanted a part 2 but didn’t necessarily ask to be tagged :)

P.S. I guess there will be a part 3???

P.S.S. if you wanna be added to a tag list drop me a message :)

[heavensturtle]

Day 5: Sky | Lanterns

A short fic for Day 5 of Xie Lian’s Birthday Week! - - -

Note: Post-canon. This got very long, and is unedited, so please forgive any mistakes. I will fix them soon!

Spoiler alert: The standard ‘read the book first’ applies :)

- - -

The inevitable happens: time passes, kingdoms fall, and the common people gradually forget about the old gods. First they pass into myth, then into a vague memory of a time when people looked to ascended beings as the source of good and misfortune in the world.

Xie Lian, forever wrapped in the arms of his most devoted believer, will never need to worry about the inevitable. But as for the others -

“There’s only one small shrine left,” Ling Wen sighs, dropping her forehead to her hand. She stares dejectedly at the open ledger before her.

Xie Lian, shaken, kneels down to meet her eyes.

“Let me see what I can do.”

* * *

He decides to bring it up a few weeks before the mid-autumn festival, as they’re strolling through the maple forest on Mount Taicang which has grown over the centuries to become almost indistinguishable from the forest of Xie Lian’s youth.

“San Lang,” Xie Lian begins, then hesitates. He doesn’t know what to say, or even what he’s asking for.

Hua Cheng turns and smiles at him so warmly that Xie Lian can feel it in his bones. He drops Hua Cheng’s hand, suddenly ashamed.

He cannot take advantage of Hua Cheng like this.

“What is it, gege?” Hua Cheng frowns, stopping to look at Xie Lian.

Xie Lian looks away. “Oh. I, um, I was just wondering if perhaps we should make a visit to the Ghost City soon.”

“Of course, whatever gege wishes,” Hua Cheng reaches out and tucks a lock of Xie Lian’s hair behind his ear. “Was that all?”

“Yes,” Xie Lian whispers.

Hua Cheng pinches his face a bit, but says nothing.

Xie Lian tries again a few nights later, when they’re lying in bed at Paradise Manor. Xie Lian is tucked against Hua Cheng’s chest, and Hua Cheng is idly running a hand through Xie Lian’s hair, brushing it away from his head and out across the mattress.

“San Lang,” he mutters, pushing back slightly to look Hua Cheng in the eye.

“Hmm?” Hua Cheng hums.

With the moonlight passing through the open windows, Xie lian can clearly make out Hua Cheng’s face. He’s looking at Xie Lian with that same warm expression, and Xie Lian immediately regrets his decision. He nuzzles closer to bury his face into Hua Cheng’s neck.

“Nothing,” he says, breathing in the fresh, almond scent of Hua Cheng’s skin.

Hua Cheng’s answering chuckle reverberates through Xie Lian’s body.

“All right, gege,” he says, and he returns to brushing Xie Lian’s hair.  

Finally, only three days before the festival, Xie Lian knows he can’t wait any longer.

“San Lang,” he calls out, closing his eyes and scrunching up his face, “Please, this is not a demand, it’s only a question, but I have to ask - I can’t just let- ”

He feels Hua Cheng’s hand on his cheek, and he opens his eyes.

“Gege would like me to light lanterns for his friend, yes?”

Stunned, Xie Lian looks up to meet Hua Cheng’s eyes.

Hua Cheng has that soft look on his face again, and again Xie Lian wants to hide. But he forces himself to answer.

“H-how?” is all he manages.

Hua Cheng smirks a bit and rubs his thumb across Xie Lian’s cheek.

“I knew this would happen, eventually,” Hua Cheng says, still smiling, “And I already told the residents of Ghost City to be ready for the celebration.”

Xie Lian can feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Hua Cheng had known all along.

“Thank you, San Lang,” he manages, before he thinks he might cry again.

“Gege, they don’t deserve you,” Hua Cheng says seriously, cupping Xie Lian’s face in both his hands.

“And I don’t deserve you,” Xie Lian whispers, closing his eyes.

He feels a soft press of lips as Hua Cheng kisses him, and he sighs. Hua Cheng gathers him close, holding him up as the kiss goes on.

“You deserve more, but I’m so glad you’ve chosen me,” Hua Cheng says, kissing Xie Lian’s forehead.

“There could never be anyone better,” Xie Lian whispers hoarsely.

The night of the mid-autumn festival, Xie Lian sits at the banquet table with the rest of the gods. Shi Qingxuan, who re-ascended only ten years after her banishment and has now had several centuries of legitimate godhood behind her, sits to Xie Lian’s right and whispers to him throughout the absurdly boring speech Mu Qing attempts to give as a sort of morale boost to the rest of the deities.

“Xuan-xiong would have stopped him by now,” Shi Qingxuan mutters to Xie Lian.

“No, he would have just eaten everything at the table,” Xie Lian replies, trying to hide his smile behind his hand.

“Hmph,” Shi Qingxuan acknowledges, “By the way, how is your Ghost King?”

Xie Lian feels his lips twitch into a smile. “He’s very well.”

The lanterns have been a constant sign, year after year, of the gods’ waning importance. After Xie Lian, who always received his three thousand lanterns from Hua Cheng, the next best rarely made five hundred. Many were only in the tens of lanterns.

This year, when the lanterns are announced, Xie Lian feels the anticipation like it’s the first time all over again. Hua Cheng has promised to help Ling Wen; Xie Lian can’t wait to see what happens.

What happens is nothing that Xie Lian could have expected. The moment last place is announced, a cacophony of light explodes in the night sky, and a thousand lanterns rise into the air to celebrate the god.

A thousand for last place, Xie Lian thinks, what has Ghost City planned?

The plan becomes immediately apparent; every god, it seems, has been gifted a thousand lanterns by the Qiandeng Temple. Every god present recognizes the name and understands this is Hua Cheng’s doing. Hua Chengzu is rich, and powerful, with nearly limitless spiritual power - it’s not surprising he would be able to do this.What’s more surprising is that he would bother.

The gods look at one another with concern on their faces (with the exceptions of Pei Ming, who gives Xie Lian a knowing wink, and Ling Wen, who simply gives Xie Lian a look of extreme gratitude).

When Xie Lian’s three thousand lanterns finally arrive to rival the stars in the night sky, Xie Lian bows his head slightly, presses his fingers to his temple, and says Thank you.

Does gege like them? Hua Cheng wonders through their private communication array.

Does this mean they have believers? Xie Lian asks.

Of course, Hua Cheng replies, The Ghost City residents are already arguing over which ones they get to worship.

What?

Obviously, Qingxuan is at the top of the list. Hua Cheng sounds immensely pleased.

Because she’s so friendly? Xie Lian guesses.

No. Because she’s your closest friend.

Xie Lian can’t think of anything to say to that.

* * *

The inevitable happens: the residents of Ghost City, taking up their responsibility as ‘Grand-Uncle’s biggest fans’, build ever-more impressive temples to their chosen gods, competing to see which temple can burn the most incense, collect the most donations, light the most lanterns. It’s a ridiculous sort of worship, but oddly sincere, and after their initial embarrassment the gods grow to find the competition endearing.

Xie Lian, of course, only needs the attention of one ghost, the one who lies with him at night and cooks for him when he manages to burn his pancakes. The one who drowns him in kisses and scoops him into hugs that would surely destroy a mortal body.

One night, several years into the ever-escalating competition by the Ghost City residents, Hua Cheng pulls Xie Lian outside for a walk in the maple woods.

“Will gege stay with San Lang, this time?” he asks.

Xie Lian knows Hua Cheng is talking about the mid-autumn festival.

“Of course,” Xie Lian says, reaching for Hua Cheng’s hand.

“I would like,” Hua Cheng begins, then pauses.

“What is it, San Lang?” Xie Lian asks, stopping to look at Hua Cheng.

“It’s nothing,” Hua Cheng says, looking away.

“Please?” Xie Lian asks, reaching out to brush Hua Cheng’s hair back from his cheek.

“It’s only, I was thinking, we could light your lanterns together, this year,” Hua Cheng says timidly, as though he’s afraid Xie Lian will say no.

“Oh. San Lang,” Xie Lian breathes, pulling Hua Cheng close, “Nothing would make me happier.”

Hua Cheng grips Xie Lian even tighter. Xie Lian can feel him trembling.

“Can I light one for you, too?” Xie Lian asks.

Hua Cheng nods wordlessly, and Xie Lian feels his chest ache.

The rustling of the wind in the maple leaves accompanies them as they slowly rock in place, holding on to one another like they may never get to do this again, just like they have every other time they’ve done so.

[syndianites]

A Queen Serves and Protects

Chapter Five

First Chapter –> Last Chapter –> Current –> Next Chapter Summary:

Post-Style Queen, Pre-Queen Wasp.

Chloe finds the Bee Miraculous, but instead of finding an obliging, subservient Kwami, she finds the Kwami of Order and Subjugation, and Pollen is not about to let herself be used like Nooroo was.

Granted, the only danger in a teenage girl is the damage she poses to herself. Can Pollen shape Chloe into a hero? Or will she stubbornly refuse to change and remain the bitter, harsh person the city has long since known?

[My take on how Chloe’s character could have developed] ——————————————————————————————

“Okay,” Pollen brought her paws together. “Let’s get this study session started.”

After the debacle of Chloe’s mother walking out on her again, Pollen insisted she get some food and relax for a bit. The two watched some cute cartoons- which Pollen was happily enraptured by- and sat together in pleasant silence.

That hadn’t stopped Pollen from plotting her next move, however.

Floating over Chloe’s tablet, which Pollen had asked her to hook up to the TV, she picked up the tablet pen and began drawing a simple figure. Adding a blonde ponytail, Pollen wrote ‘You’ over the top of the drawing.

“Let’s start with the basics. Emotions!” Pollen wrote out the word. “This is the thing that motivates people the most. Someone spills water on you? You’re angry. You are given a nice gift? Happy. So on and so forth.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. Even she knew this stuff. What was the point of this?

Tapping the pen on the drawing of Chloe, Pollen asked, “Now, what makes you a bad person?”

“What!” Chloe interrupted, “I am not a bad person!”

Pollen put her paws up. “I’m sorry, that was out of line. Let me try again: What makes people not like you?”

Chloe huffed. “I’m better than them and they know it.”

Instead of writing what Chloe said, Pollen wrote ‘you see yourself as above others.’

“Ugh, is this just an excuse to make fun of me? I’m so out.” Chloe made to stand up but was stopped by Pollen.

“Patience, Chloe. Right now, you're doing well. You working with me is a good start..” Pollen beamed at Chloe and she had to look away, lest the warmth blossoming in her chest got any bigger.

“What else makes people not like you?” Pollen asked.

Chloe hummed, trying not to make a sarcastic comment. “They don’t agree with my opinions, even when I’m right.”

Shaking her head, Pollen wrote down ‘You say things that upset people.’

Chloe crossed her arms and muttered, “It’s not my fault that they are upset by the truth.”

Ignoring her, Pollen continued, “Do you have any other ideas?”

Pollen received a head shake in reply. Which was fine, of course.  She could work with this.

Making a new page, Pollen re-wrote ‘You see yourself as above others.’

“So,” Pollen delicately sat on a pillow she had prepared next to the tablet, “Why do you see yourself as above others?”

Chloe scoffed. “That’s easy, it’s because my father is-”

“I said why do you see yourself as better than others, not why your dad is above others,” Pollen interrupted, fighting back an eye roll.

“Fine then, it’s because my mo- I mean,” Chloe gave a light cough as Pollen raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s because I’m rich and they aren’t.”

Pollen, sighing, wrote down ‘lives luxuriously.’

Chloe frowned. “Doesn’t that just mean I’m rich?”

“No, Chloe. Technically, you aren’t rich. Your parents are. You just live in a very comfortable, very nice place that is paid for and maintained by your parents and their employees. Is that something that makes you better than someone else?”

“Uh, yes?”

“No!”

Pollen took a deep breath.

Today was going to be a long day.

“Consider this Chloe.”

“I’m considering it.”

“Consider this, Chloe. Would you still be better than others if you didn’t live in this hotel? If you lived in a three bedroom apartment with your father?”

“Of course.”

“But what separates you from others if you live just like them?”

“Um.” Chloe was at a loss for words. If she was just like the others, how would she be better? “I just am, Pollen.”

“No.”

“Because I’m rich?”

“What if you weren’t?”

“Then it’s because I’m smarter than them?”

“Who is the smartest person in your class?”

“Ugh, fine, it’s because I know better than them.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been misguided before.”

“I’m more talented than them!”

“What are your talents?”

“Shopping, obviously.”

Pollen fought to not scream. Like talking to a brick wall. Well, if Chloe wanted to be a brick wall…

“I’ll ask one more time Chloe, what makes you better than others?” 

“I’m-”

Pollen cut her off by drawing an arrow beneath where she wrote ‘You see yourself as above others’ and wrote, with a deadpan look, ‘Nothing.’

Standing up furiously, Chloe waved her arms about. “What do you mean nothing! Of course I’m above others, that's just how it is! My family has more money, so we get better things, so I have a better upbringing, which means I’m better overall.”

“How often are your parents around?” Pollen stared Chloe down.

“I-, um, sometimes?” 

“How often is your father around?”

“He always picks up when I call.”

“How often is he physically around you, seeing what you do and spending time with you?”

Chloe sat back down. “We eat meals together. He greets me in the morning. And sometimes he brings me gifts. And, and! I sometimes go with him on his campaign stuff.”

Pollen rubbed her eyes in frustration. No wonder this girl had so many problems.

“Alright then, let’s start again. You are not better than others and here is why…”

//////////////

Monday was her first test. Pollen had insisted on making her work on how she talked to people first and foremost. According to her, ‘It will be easier to see others as equals if you treat them as such. The first step in that is to talk to them politely.’

That’s all she had to do. Be polite.

So when Sabrina greeted her as she arrived at school, instead of giving her a curt nod and waltzing past her, expecting her to keep up, Chloe grit out a “Good Morning.”

Sabrina, on her part, took the greeting in stride. “You seem to be in a good mood today, Chloe!”

Ready to walk forward without a response, Chloe almost groaned at the nudge she felt from her inner jacket pocket. “It is a nice day, Sabrina.”

Pollen, from inside the pocket, rolled her eyes. At least it was a response.

The duo walked into school, ignoring the chatter amongst the other students, and made their way to their classroom.

Ms. Bustier kindly greeted Chloe and Sabrina as they walked in and- after a nudge from Pollen- both Sabrina and Chloe greeted her back. Already Chloe was growing tired of this. Is this what people had to do every day? Ridiculous.

Class was the easiest part. Ms. Bustier, as nice as she was, was strict in her classroom. Even Chloe respected her. So the students behaved. All Chloe had to do was not make any biting comments.

‘Just because you say something you think is true,’ Pollen had told her in one of their many ‘Let’s Bee Nice’ sessions, ‘Doesn’t mean it isn’t hurtful. A good hero always thinks about how they affect others with their words.’

That is when someone decided to start shit. Of course.

In the brief period where they had a quiz- nothing serious, just a check to see how well they were keeping up with the subject so far- and had to go up to Ms. Bustier’s desk to turn it in, Lila happened. 

Lovely, lying Lila.

Chloe had taken her paper up, all on her own to Sabrina’s shock, and had been walking back to her seat when she saw Lila pull a quick sleight of hand. From inside her sleeve she dropped a simple, but nice, white hair clip just close enough to Marinette’s stuff to look like she knew it was there. Normally, Chloe would have shrugged and ignored it. But she knew Lila would disrupt the class over some little hair clip.

Did she know Lila had been messing with Marinette for a while now? Yes. Did she care that some of Lila’s stories were far-fetched? No. As Chloe saw it, Lila was just another girl trying to be popular and feel exceptional at school. Compared to Chloe, she would never be exceptional.

She pinched herself. Sitting back down at her desk, she reminded herself of the lesson Pollen had taken to drilling into her head everytime she talked down about someone.

‘What makes you better than others?’

Chloe, each time, had groaned before repeating, ‘Nothing. Everyone is unique in their own right but just as good as someone else.’

Did Chloe believe that? No! Some people were just better than others. All that sweet talk about how everyone was unique? That was just Pollen seeing the best in people. Chloe wouldn’t strain herself looking for something that wasn’t there. Some people just weren’t exceptional.

‘The only exceptional thing about you is your mother.’

Still, Chloe DID like Pollen a whole lot, and what was her speech about how people give other people power? If Chloe thought Pollen’s word was worth something, then clearly it was.

In any case, Chloe decided to keep an eye out for Lila’s next move. She wouldn’t let her cause chaos in Ms. Bustier’s class. She was the best teacher in the school, after all. And that had nothing to do with how nice she was to Chloe. Not at all.

It didn’t take long for Lila to act. As she was returning from Ms. Bustier’s desk, she gasped. “Marinette! Where did you find that hair clip?”

Marinette, unsurprisingly, was confused. “Find what?”

“That clip right there,” Lila pointed it out. “That’s the clip I lost this morning! My dear old grandmother had given it to me as a gift years ago, before she passed it’s-” She teared up a bit then, bringing a hand to her mouth. “It’s one of the last things I have from her.”

Chloe eyed the exchange with disinterest. Lila putting on the waterworks? Check. Marinette having no clue what was happening? Check. The whole class trying to pretend they weren’t listening in on the conversation? Check.

“I didn’t find it anywhere. I hadn’t even seen it until now,” Marinette said, bewildered. 

Taking that as her chance, Lila gasped again. “Marinette… did you steal it? Oh my gosh, no wonder I couldn’t find it! I had looked all over for it after I left my bag here to go get a quick breakfast. My poor mother was too busy this morning to get me anything, but left money for me to get food after wishing me a good day. Did you take it from my bag?”

For a moment Marinette’s eye twitched. Clearly, she didn’t believe the whole tale Lila had just spun. Chloe didn’t care. Lila loved to color her words with as much grandeur as she could. It was like a child coloring in a coloring book- just because the art was good didn’t mean the colors weren’t messy and didn’t clash horribly.

Belatedly, Marinette realized the whole class was listening in on the conversation. “I, uh, I-”

Lila turned to the rest of the class with misty eyes. Immediately, they jumped to her defense.

“Marinette, did you take it?”

“What do you mean you have no idea how that got there? It’s at your desk!”

“It couldn’t have just appeared.”

“It’s highly unlikely for the hair clip to have just made its way to Marinette’s desk on its own.”

Tired of the overlapping voices, Chloe audibly scoffed. “Puh-lease.” The class turned to her. Good. “Dupain-Cheng probably just found it on the floor and picked it up thinking it was lost garbage or something. Knowing Miss Goody-Two-Shoes over there, she was going to give it to Ms. Bustier or lost and found until she remembered that her clumsy, scatter-brained self was about to be late for class.”

There. All Marinette had to do was say, ‘Yes, Chloe! That’s exactly it! Thank you so much.’

Instead, she stared at Chloe just as dumbfounded as before. Lila, realizing she wasn’t going to get anywhere with this anymore, turned back to Marinette happily. “Thank you so much! I don’t know what I would have done if I had truly lost it.” 

“Uh, yeah, you’re welcome?” Marinette gave an awkward smile, eyes moving between Lila and Chloe rapidly.

“Although, I do wonder if you would have done that if you knew it was mine…” Lila wilted dramatically, before sending Marinette a pained smile and walking back to her desk. Leave it to the girl to find a way to still make Marinette a bad person.

Chloe rolled her eyes. Whatever. Now that the class had settled back down, Ms. Bustier could keep teaching and they could go back to making Chloe’s life of being a ‘better person’ easy.

Maybe this nice thing wasn’t so hard.

Pollen, meanwhile, was counting the nice comments versus the mean comments to see if she could count that towards Chloe’s niceness score.

[catty-words]

Hello cory! Have you seen the promo pictures for S2 of NHIE with the pro/cons list for Ben and Paxton? Any thoughts?

honestly? head full, thoughts racing so. thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble!

it’s been my experience that promotional materials released for new seasons of television shows are overwhelmingly from the first episode, and i doubt the nhie photos are an exception. so, keeping that in mind that these stills are likely all just kicking off the undoubtedly wild ride that will be season two, let’s discuss the love triangle.

right off the bat, i love the implication that devi’s not ready to make a hard and fast choice about which boy she’s most interested in. and i honestly should have anticipated this because it’s not really about the boys, and it never was!! it’s about how devi’s relationship with either of them reflects back on her. so of course our girl—image-conscious, hyper-intelligent, and romantically-inexperienced as she is—isn’t going to rush headlong into one relationship over the other. she’s gonna take the time to consider what each choice offers her. and, ultimately, what she’s boiled things down to is the way being with ben enhances her (or rankles her, as it were) internally vs. the way being with paxton enhances her externally.

which isn’t fair to paxton, right? his journey in season one was all about coming to appreciate devi as more than just what the high school caste system has dictated her to be. namely, weird and nerdy. so the fact that devi is looking at paxton and only seeing a hot, popular guy who’s bad at school speaks to how little she actually came to understand him as a person. we, the audience, know that, more than being hot and dumb, paxton is loyal, hard-working, and self-conscious about his reputation for being bad at school.

and that conflict between how paxton appreciates devi for more than what she is on the surface vs. devi appreciating the image of paxton more than she appreciates him as a person makes me very interested in the scene from this still:

the expression on paxton’s face here strikes me as open and vulnerable. likely, he’s laying his heart on the line—in front of his bros, no less, if i’m identifying the background actors correctly—and i’m so, so excited to see how being confronted with this version of him that’s so different from the one she keeps in her head will affect devi. will she continue looking at him and only seeing the myth, or will she slowly start to accept him as a whole person? how long will the process take? how long will paxton put up with devi appreciating only the image of him and nothing deeper? no offence intended to him, but will he notice that’s happening at all or will he continue to be pretty clueless about her deeper motivations? i don’t know, but i’m very curious to find out.

as for the ben side of things, i’m obviously partial to how much deeper his and devi’s relationship is—internal vs. external and all that—but i also really like the vibe i get from the picture overall, which is that devi is looking at a deeper connection and a surface-level image boost as being equally important. they’re really not comparable at all, but it makes complete sense for devi to value them in a similar way. in fact, i’d argue that her characterization thus far puts paxton at an advantage. she’s way more interested in surface-level image than she is in the promise of deep connection and intimacy.

anyway, what i like most about ben’s side of the board is how his pros and cons interact with and enhance each other. devi likes that he’s smart, but in the past he’s used that razor-sharp wit to be kind of a dick. ben challenges devi, but sometimes the challenge turns to bitter rivalry. ben has the advantage of being hella rich as a potential image boost, but he’s not conventionally attractive so it’s a mixed image boost at best. and the thing that pleases me about the way these descriptors all reflect back on each other is how it speaks to devi’s complete and total understanding of ben as a person. what’s good about him is also bad about him and she sees all of that, much in the way he sees all of her.

setting aside both boys for a second and focusing solely on devi, i love her pleased-as-punch grin in the photo. as a pop-culture savvy and—i love her, but let’s be honest—exceedingly self-involved character, it makes sense that the drama inherent in a love triangle is not lost on her. privately, she’s having the time of her life discussing the possibility of two different relationships when, at the beginning of the school year, she was stuck praying to the gods to drop some fictional dude in her lap and setting her sights on a gay guy in the meantime.

(side note: i’m expecting devi’s going over these pros and cons with eleanor and fabiola and i’m really nervous about the way this could set up the fact that she learned nothing at all last season, re: being a better friend. sure, a love triangle is a big deal and eleanor, being pop-culture savvy herself, is probably equally excited about the prospect of drama, but i hope against hope devi’s not about to let this situation overshadow her friends’ needs for another season)

anyway, though she’s privately having the time of her life, in practice...

...she seems really uncomfortable to be stuck in the middle, and i am intrigued by the potential of her shutting both paxton and ben down because she just can’t handle the responsibility of juggling their interest in her. i mean, look at ben’s body language here. dude is part Notice Me, Devi!! part side-eyeing paxton with some blatant Back Off energy. and though paxton is, naturally, much chiller about the vibes he’s throwing off, he’s still projecting a similar competitiveness back at ben.

since she’s wearing the same outfit in both photos, i do wonder if whatever happens in shapiro’s classroom prompts her and the girls to go back to devi’s place and make their list of pros and cons. having some ridiculous mid-class outburst be the reason the three of them spend a whole scene discussing devi’s love life would make me feel better about devi’s relationship with fabiola and eleanor since there’s a difference between her insisting on the triangle as a topic of discussion and school day events prompting the discussion. but i digress.

i will leave you with this final and only semi-related note: ben in a jean jacket my beloved!!!

[whythinktoomuch]

It’s upon the 26th consecutive re-read of her thesis that Lena gives up, flopping onto her perpetually unmade bed with something that starts off in a huffy sigh, but ends on a more growly note of displeasure. After berating herself yet again over her own failings and routine frustrations, she checks the time—midnight for her, 9pm for California. She reaches for her phone.  

Lena’s complaining the moment the line connects, “Will you please remind me why I’ve decided to put myself through this all over again?”

“… Gonna need more information,” Andrea says, somehow entirely unfazed.

“Like, why am I going for my PhD? I basically already have a job lined up for me at Luthor-Corp that I’m adequately qualified for with just my master’s.”

“Since when were you happy with being just adequately qualified for anything?”

“Are you suggesting that I’m an overachiever?”

Andrea snorts. “Do I even have to suggest it?”

“You’re laughing at me right now, and that’s fine, but I really am going to fail. I’m going to botch my defense, and flunk out, and be the laughingstock of MIT, and—”

“Oh, hey, Andrea!” Andrea cuts in, all faux casual and cheery. “How are you, Andrea? Aw, really? Well, I missed you too, Andrea; thank you so much for asking!”

“This is serious,” Lena says in a whine. “I’m like this close to failing and becoming an actual, bona fide loser. Do you want to be best friends with an actual, bona fide loser?”

“You are not going to fail.”  

“You have to say that ‘cause you’re my friend.”

“No. I don’t have to say anything,” Andrea says. “Except I’m sure as hell not gonna be friends with a loser who’s flunked out of MIT of all places, so… pull it together, babe.”

-

Lena stays silent, just rolls onto her back with an exaggerated pout. Yet, somehow, Andrea must hear it over the phone because she lets out a sigh—long-suffering, yet short-lived.

“All right then,” she says, resolved. “Walk me through it, darling.”

Lena almost laughs. “What...”

“From the top, come on,” Andrea says. “And dumb it down for me.”

This time, Lena has no choice but to laugh. “Okay, now you’re just being ridiculous… At this point, you know my work better than I do!”

“Well, pretend that I don’t. Pretend I’m… oh, I don’t know, what’s the name of the last guy you dated again? The real dumb one?”

“Jack Spheer wasn’t dumb!”

“Not him,” Andrea says, a blatant eye-roll implicit in her scoff. “He was fine. But wasn’t there someone else? A Tommy of some sort or another?”

“No...?”  

“You sure?”

Lena huffs. “Yes! I don’t have time to date. You know that.”

“Yeah. I do.”

… And Lena should probably say something in response to that, something that acknowledges Andrea’s suddenly soft tone and maybe even the context. And she’s tempted to; she’s always been tempted to, of course. But as always, Andrea quickly moves on without her.

“But come on,” Andrea says, all bright and casual once more. “Just do it. It’ll help.”

Lena rubs at her forehead with a heavy sigh. “Okay, fine…” she finally says. “So… like... if we’re measuring the emissivity curves at two different polarizations, the radiometry setup should be—”

“Nope!” Andrea cuts in right away. “Not there. Go from the very beginning, beginning.”

“But that’s not the part I’m having trouble with,” Lena says flatly.

“So? I’m dumb and need the whole context, remember?”

“You’re not dumb,” Lena grumbles under her breath, which Andrea acknowledges with only a simple hum. “Ugh, fine, fine…”

So, Lena does it. She reluctantly, but oh so diligently starts explaining everything from the very beginning. The literature review of all the research and theories that came before her own, occasionally colored with some commentary when appropriate. And every time Lena says something offhand—some concept taken for granted—Andrea makes her go back, insisting that Lena break it back down to the very basics.

The entire process is as frustrating as it is tedious because Lena already knows all this. She already knows every single detail from the inside out: facts, figures, statistics, particulars, all thoroughly well-worn and established. It’s stuff she barely needs to acknowledge anymore—given how clear-cut and dry they were—so honestly, this whole thing’s a huge waste of time… until it isn’t.

Until she’s still 50 pages away from the section she’s stuck on, and something absolutely clicks, and it’s something so obvious—so practical, yet so rudimentary—that Lena can’t help but bark out a laugh of pure delight before rattling off her realization.

“Well, there ya go,” Andrea says wryly, as Lena continues to laugh and laugh. “Did you even need me here for that?”

It’s a joke, obviously, but Lena’s giddy now and it’s late enough into the night that she’s willing to offer something more substantial. “I always need you,” she says naturally as ever. “You know that.”

Lena could almost hear Andrea holding her breath over the long, thoughtful silence that follows her rather casual remark. But what’s a risky comment or two between a couple of best friends?

“Just say the word,” Andrea says finally. “And I’ll take my private jet. I can be in Massachusetts in like five hours.”

“You don’t have a private jet.”

“My dad has one, which means I have access to one.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Well, fine, maybe I don’t,” Andrea says, snorting. “But, wow, you really do love to shoot down an extravagant romantic gesture, huh?”

Now Lena’s the one holding her breath. “… Romantic?”

“Yeah,” Andrea says it so effortlessly, but there’s an anxious undercurrent of eagerness through it all. An implicit message of, I’m jumping… Will you jump with me?

“Well… I guess I don’t really mind it coming from you,” Lena says eventually (Yes. Yes, I will). 

The pressure builds up and swells then, flourishing in the ever-extending expanse of everything unsaid. It finally overflows when Andrea releases a breathy laugh.

“I mean, you were right about the private jet thing,” she says. “My dad’s not going to lend it to me on a whim, unfortunately.”

“What a dick,” Lena says, and they both laugh at that, and it’s exhilaration and relief rolled into one. “Can’t wait till we’re independently rich. We can privately jet all over the globe to each other.”

“Guess we’ll just have to gravely suffer in the meantime.”

Lena rolls her eyes, and people say that she’s dramatic. “We can still visit each other, you know. I’m more than willing to rough it out in first class for you.”

“To Berkeley?” Andrea says, incredulous. “You would absolutely burn, my love. Your skin’s no match for the likes of an unforgiving Californian sun. You know this.”

“I’ll have you know that there’s sun everywhere, and I’ve been sunburnt plenty of times right here in Massachusetts.”

“Hmm, not sure if that’s something I’d be bragging about.”

“I’m not bragging,” Lena says, huffing. “I’m complaining!”

“When aren’t you?”

Normally, this is where Lena would feign indignation and hang up on Andrea. Then Andrea would promptly carry on the gag by texting an apologetic heart emoji or even an I love you!!! with a sad smiley. It’s just what they’ve always done in lieu of saying goodbye, and probably always will do, no matter what happens. Plus, judging from the increasingly late hour, Lena should most definitely kick off this long-established routine sooner rather than later. 

And yet... 

“So,” Lena says slowly after a brief pause. “What’s been going on with you? You haven’t told me about your day yet.”

... maybe there’s some value in getting back to the basics, after all. 

[bozowrites]

Dare to Care

Imagine

↳ There is always going to be a drift in society and no one can fix it. 

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki × Fem!Reader

TW: None.

Word Count: 1.7k

Part 1 // more to come...

A/n: I have a lot of asks but I got rlly inspired to write this last night. It’ll be multiple parts so if u actually like this u can be added to the taglist, just comment or dm me or whatever. Love you, darlings! 💞

In our society, there are separations whether we like them or not. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. And that’s what sucks. I want nothing more than to patch up the hole that was put between us and them. To fix the broken world that we’ve come to call home. It isn’t home. Nowhere is home when all is broken around you, and I’ve come to terms with that.  

There are the heroes, the civilians and the villains. Then there’s the rich, the middle-class and the poor. Simple words can create a huge drift in society.  

Some think they are above others for the simple fact they have a title. A hero. A well-known hero that all love and adore. And then some rich think they are better for the reason is they have money; they have the power to do whatever they want because of that money. Money buys you the things you need, even love, apparently.  

I grew up to solely believe this. I was beneath them and they were above all. I worked for what I needed as they got handed their things on silver platters.  

My mother worked two jobs on minimum wage every day and made just enough to pass us buy. Some stood pretty for a camera and made thousands—millions even! It’s ridicules, really. Or, maybe, that's just jealousy speaking.  

All I want is to be known as someone for working hard and give my single, hard-working mom, a break. To rest and never stress again. To take care of her. To never let her fear of being too little for me. I want to be her hero.  

“How many times do I have to say it? I didn’t order the this.” The woman of high-class spoke rudely. “I’m sorry, ma'am, but that’s what the receipt and your waiter told me.” Her lips scowl and her growl is more evident. This restaurant is full of people like her. Spoiled brats. “Well your waiter is wrong!” I sighed, losing grip of my temper slowly.

“Perhaps, one of the men behind you ordered it,” I said slowly, gesturing to the three men in matching tuxedos behind her. “You did leave the table to talk with a friend, I do believe. Just enough time for one of them to order something behind your back.” My tone was impatient and I knew this was no way to act, but people like her hit all the wrong nerves.

“Are you using that tone with me? And disrespecting my brothers?!” The pit of anger in the bottom of my stomach started bubbling. She thought she was so much better because her dad owned some company and held high status. She didn’t, just her father. He made the life he did through his hard-work, she just feeds off his hard-earned prize.  

And that’s what disgusts me.  

“Dear, they need you in the kitchen, I’ll take care of the rest.” Miss Masmai said with a gentle hand on my shoulder. She always did that. When someone was angry or upset in any way, she put a hand on their shoulder and spoke with a gentle tone. She was this sweet lady, near her fifties, who worked alongside her brother in this restaurant.  

“Thank you, miss.” I gave a knowing nod and left to the kitchen. It was obvious my anger was rising and Miss Masami knew that. She always saw right through me. I don’t know how, though I wish I did.  

“L/n, get angry again?” My co-corkers always did that. I was known to get angry quickly. I’d accepted that a long time ago, though it doesn’t feel good hearing people say it constantly. “Shut it, Tsukishima.” The tall blonde only smirked and continued away at cooking.  

My body felt exhausted. It was hard being an adult. I knew that since I was just a little girl. I didn’t get to play house and make endless friends—no—I spent every night crying in bed, hearing my mom mutter through the thin walls of how to pay the bills, how to feed me, how to get through the next month. It was painful. I always felt the drift between society and me grow. My life became consumed by the thoughts of suffering and never getting by. I let my little mind think that money divided everyone, I still believe it. Most people I meet do too.  

“L/n, can I speak to you?” I glanced over to Mister Masami. He has this dark glare. Unlike his sister, he holds no patience and doesn’t believe in second chances. Because of his sister, and only because of her, I’ve lasted as long as I have. He says I have anger issues. I don’t. It’s my lack of social skills mixed with bottled up fear and frustration.  

“Mister Masami? How may I help you?” I asked nicely, though he and I both know it was forced. He and I were never on good terms. “You’ve reached your last straw, you’re fired. They are important people who visit nearly every week, and you disrespected them.” I scowled. “Fine. Have a nice day, Mister Masami.” As I take off the black apron and toss it at him, I muttered, “Asshole.” He doesn’t respond, but I know he’s biting his tongue to re-frame from doing so.  

As I leave through the backdoor, I can hear some co-workers chuckling and talking among themselves happily. I didn’t know if it was over my leave or for something completely different. It didn’t matter, really.

It’s nearly midnight when I finish my shift at the local café by my apartment. I work three jobs (well two now), never really having time to myself. That’s the life of a poor adult, I guess. When I reached the age to be able to work, I did. Mom didn’t like it, of course she didn’t, but it wasn’t up to her. I wanted to help. She needed my help.  

There’s a sudden cold chill in the air. I’ve walked this path a million times before and I’ve never had this fear to walk this way. The sudden uncomfortable atmosphere around me is frightening. I glanced around, only seeing the dark streets. There were only three lampposts here and each was dime, giving only small portions of light. Even the street lamps in this poor area sucked.  

“Fuck you heroes!” A voice shouted. I felt my whole-body shake. I've seen the news of villain attacks, but I’ve never been in the same area or around long enough to see the action.  

“And fuck you villains!” The supposed hero shouted back. I leant against the brick wall, trying to keep myself hidden. I could see flashes and hear the blasts close by. It was terrifying. The closer the sounds came, the more my body shook. I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire neighbourhood woke up, actually, I'd be surprised if the entire neighbourhood didn’t wake up.  

The sudden flashes are crossing my eyes. The small blasts of explosions and the loud voices are ringing in my ears louder. I can feel the heat created by each and individual explosion. I don’t know if it’s the villain or the hero’s quirk, but I didn’t plan on sticking around to find out.

I let my feet run to my apartment as fast as one can, but it wasn’t enough. A cold hand grabbed my arm. I knew it wouldn’t be the hero’s, why would it be? There’s this sudden cold object put to my neck and my vision is set to a blonde staring at the villain and myself with glaring eyes.  

“Let them go, villain.” The tone he sets is cold. I can tell he doesn’t care about me. I mean nothing to a high-status hero. All he wants is to keep his legacy as a hero clean. He saved another helpless civilian, all will say. Doesn’t make him good. There could be so many other things the press and public don’t know, but all they care to see is the heroism he displays. Makes me sick.  

“Why would I? I think her blood would look real good in my hands.” Her voice is chilling to the ear and I can feel the breaths she takes. Her fingers are digging into my waist and a knife floats midair in front of my throat. I hate every part of this. Her nails are long, making blood seep through the fabric of my clothes. I can feel the warmness against my skin. It’s not a lot, but enough to hurt.  

I don’t say anything through all the banter they shout at one another. I only stand there and stare at the hero. He doesn’t spare me a glance or show worry. It really says something about himself. He doesn’t care about no one but himself. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself, but I’ve come to read others through their small actions and words.  

I was so in my head; I hardly felt the gash against my cheek as the blonde hero took the villain down. My mind processed slowly as I saw him pick her off the ground, her mumbles inaudible.  

“You good?” There’s no sympathy in his voice. There’s no care or worry. It was nothing but hero intake. He has to, he was an idol to lots. And what kind of idol doesn’t ask the victim if they’re all right?  

I can only nod wordlessly. Both his and my stare are blank. He still has the villain in his grab, but there’s this shift in the atmosphere. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t take the time to question it.  

“You’re bleeding.” He said, voice rough and toneless. I touch the burning cheek. I didn’t feel the pain at the start, but the more I thought of it, the more it hurt. How did I get cut? When? Why? “Oh,” I see the blood on my fingers. My side begins to hurt too. I remember the nails and blood. I don’t think he knows and that doesn’t bother me.  

I shrugged and said, “Uh, thanks. Bye.” I turned, having nothing left to say. I know he’s staring at me. I can feel the burn of his eyes on my head. He’s probably questioning me silently.

Why didn’t I fawn over him? Why didn’t I praise him? Why didn’t I stay to speak?

Most heroes get so into it, they forget the reason they became a hero. To save people, they say at the start. But, in the end, they want the praise and only the praise. When they don’t get what they desire, things don’t always go well for those around them.  

[binniedeactivated]

saint.|| soobin.🌪 (6)

🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 3636

“we know that failing a test is bad news but refusing to take one is extremely unacceptable”. sister Agatha commented with her lips going into a thin line. you sat in the empty classroom with your eyes bulging out of their sockets.

“sister you have to understand that i took that test”. you try to explain.

“I’m sorry, our records show that you didn’t. And because of this I’m going to have to give you an F for your test grade”. 

“an F? that’s going to bring my grade down to a C!”. you whine, you couldn’t help it, you always felt strongly about your grades even without your parents’ pressure. she raised her lips in that fine line again and shook her head with disappointment. 

“I’m sorry but that’s school policy. Next time you have to make sure you’re doing your work and teacher is receiving it”. you huffed your breath in defeat, pulling your bag over your shoulder. 

“alright”.

“you may go to your next period class. i’ll be sure to email your instructor about the reason for your tardiness”. 

“thank you”. you mumble pushing the door open. I mean that was the least she could do after practically failing you. You knew you turned your quiz in you just knew it. but where did it go? 

“let’s go guys! change into your clothes and immediately do three laps!”. 

your gym instructor screeches while clapping his hands. you rush to the girl’s locker room to change into your gym clothes. you normally hated gym because it was a time where everyone socialized and gossiped with their friends as they ran laps. You never had anyone to do that with. People would stay away from you in fact, they thought you were way too much of a church girl to be interested in anything.

but to some extent you did. yes you were a church girl but you were also a teenager. gossip was intriguing just as it is for the next person. and you always didn’t mind opening yourself up to new things I mean, take you and soobin for example. 

“yeah and he even bought us a hotel for the night”. you heard outside of your stall. you looked through it’s cracks to see Mia, Olivia, and the rest of the schools gossip girls. Olivia squealed. “no way!”. mia fake smiled. “I told you”. mia responded with the sassiest grin. One of the other girls which you knew to be Ava replied, “and what did you guys do?”. she smirks. Mia laughs as if there was too much to even explain. “We fucked like there was no tomorrow”. she said in a low whisper that had the rest of them go into an uproar. 

you thought quickly to yourself, was she talking about soobin?

“I knew soobin was rich but i didn’t know he’d be booking hotels and shit”. olivia stated. “girl when i say filthy rich? the choi’s are loaded you must know that”. Mia responded. you felt your blood boiling. so they were talking about soobin.

“Girls! Out of the locker rooms and onto the track lets go”. the gym instructor yelled from the door. They quickly pack up and make their exit as do you when the coast is clear. you tie your hair up quickly and get to running. you were never the best athlete and you knew that but you always tried your hardest in gym class. especially since you’d already have to be spending your time trying to make up for the C you were about to receive. 

“ugh look at that bitch”. mia scoffed glaring over at you while she was halfway around the track already. athlete of the year award goes to the track star mia howard. she already didn’t like you because of soobin but reminiscing on last night, she couldn’t help but to hate you even more. you probably put soobin up to setting her up. you were the mastermind because you wanted him just that much. and no one could make up Mia’s mind, saints weren’t always saints. especially you.

running past you she couldn’t pass up her opportunity to put her leg out while you weren’t paying attention, leaving you a stumbling mess as you tripped and landed straight on your face. she was the first one to laugh loudly with her friends to quickly follow. soon though, everyone in the gym was running past you and either giving you a sorrowful look or straight up laugh in your face. you didn’t know which to feel first, the pain that sprouted in your knees and face or the embarrassment of your entire gym class.

“hey guys enough! the next person to laugh at this poor girl is getting detention and i mean it!”. he rushes over to you while the class finishes their laps around the track. “Are you alright?”. you try your best to get up, your knee was practically throbbing and your face wasn’t calming down either. you shake your head no. 

“I’m going to write you a pass to the nurse alright?”. he assures, grabbing a pen and quickly filling out the slip before handing it to you. you mutter a soft thank you as he helps you to your feet. luckily the nurse’s office was only down the hall so you wouldn’t be limping too far. 

“grab him soobin hurry up!”.

Michael urged while they were in the bathroom. soobin grabbed ahold of the cowardly boys’ collar and threw him to the floor. 

“you were the same guy talking shit about me on your ‘anonymous’ twitter account right?”.

the boy began squirming on the floor trying to escape soobin’s grip but fails horribly. 

“no it wasn’t me i swear man!”. 

michael reaches down and punches him in his jaw. 

“don’t fucking lie i know a lot of people and they told me about you”. 

he held his jaw in pain, blood leaking onto the disgusting floor that was inches from his face.

“don’t worry though. since they told me about you, I’d like to personally tell you about myself”. michael snarls while unzipping the front of his pants. Soobin holds his ankles so that he wasn’t able to go anywhere while michael pisses on his face. Soobin laughs at the boy squirming because of the stinging sensation. He thought it was funny how frantic he was about it. when michael was finished he kicks the boy in his stomach. 

“i dare you to say some shit about me again”. he snarls again. soobin grins following him out of the bathroom door. “That kid is going to smell like piss all damn day”. soobin jokes and michael laughs. “That’s his fucking fault. no one told him to be such a pussy and talk shit on social media rather than my face”. 

“so? how was she last night?”.  soobin asked smirking. “ridiculous. she did everything we told her to do. it was fucking amazing. best night of my life”. soobin shakes his head and laughs. 

“hey soobin I dm’ed you on instagram, did you see it?”. 

some random brunette girl walking passed them both had asked. and to be honest soobin never saw her before in his life. And he was barely on his socials unless drama was occurring. 

“what makes you think I’d respond to anyone who looks like you?”. soobin counter, leaving michael to playfully push him in full fledge laughter. The girl frowns and continues her journey down the hall. 

“hey man that was fucked up”. 

“oh really? didn’t you just pee on someone?”. 

michael was set to reply until he saw you turning into the nurses office down the hall. 

“hey isn’t that the religious bitch you be talking to?”. 

soobin met his gaze and saw you through the nurses’ office windows. oh shit. he thought. 

“i’ll be right back”. michael was smirking hard but soobin was too focused to care. 

“yeah right. I’ll catch you next period man”. and with that they both parted ways. the nurse advised you to sit down to keep you from putting so much pressure on your knee while she went to get you some knee wraps. 

soobin knocks on her open door catching your attention easily. and yes, he had that stupid grin on his face. he slid into the chair beside you. 

“what are you doing in here?”. he asks, was it scary that he looked genuinely concerned? 

“I tripped and fell in gym class today. My knee hurts bad. And my face aches”. 

Soobin reaches over and touches your knee re-sprouting your pain. you slap his hand. 

“ouch soobin! why would you touch it?”. you wince. The nurse sashays her way back into the room and peers over her glasses at soobin. 

“Excuse me Choi soobin? Do you have a reason for being here?”.

“Because I want to be here”. soobin snaps with attitude in his tone. 

you nudge him. 

“you don’t have to be rude about it soobin”. you mumble. he rolls his eyes. 

“I meant-- i’m just making sure she’s okay. Im not going to be in the way. I’ll bring her back to class when she’s finished”. 

“that was more like it”. she conceded before pulling a stool over to assist you. He wanted to tell her to go fuck herself, but he wouldn’t take it that far since you were around.

you wince as she lifts your skirt a bit more to wrap the bandage around your knee. 

“what are you checking on me for anyways?”.

“because why not?”.

“because you tried to act like you didn’t like mia. I heard you guys had a good time last night”. soobin glanced at her with a confused expression. 

“I took her out to eat. we didn’t do anything if that’s what you think”.

“that sure isn’t what she was telling her friends in the locker room today”. 

soobin thought to himself, mia was a filthy liar. 

“she’s lying. we didn’t do anything”. 

you hum as the nurse finishes your bandage. you had to say when it was wrapped it felt way better, you thanked her gratefully. “there you go honey, and here”. she reaches back and grabs a small baggie with two tablet pills on the inside. “I recommend you take these for your face okay?”. “yes thank you”.  you stand to your feet. Your knee wasn’t totally healed but you could definitely walk better than you did before. Soobin just watches you limp your way to the hallway, he grins. “Are you sure you can walk the whole way?”. 

“yes soobin I got it”. he gives you a head nod and walks beside you before he got tired of your limping. He stooped to your level and turned around. He pats his back. “come on, hop up”. 

“soobin I got it”. he shakes his head. “no you don’t”. “yes I do”. 

he turns around at you and sighs. “stop being a baby come on”. “I’m not being a baby”. “just let me carry you”. “why would I let you carry me when I have legs?’. 

soobin playfully rolls his eyes before he wraps your arms around his neck himself and stands up. He curls your legs around his body. it made you feel like a child again, you haven’t had a piggy back ride since you were much younger. 

“soobin i don’t know why you’re doing this”. you complain. 

“Shh. doesn’t it feel much better?”. he asks turning his head to look back at you with that dumb grin again. You roll your eyes and laugh. he was such a doofus. 

“you’re annoying”. you reply. He starts heading towards your calculus classroom.

“I’m annoying? you’re getting better with these compliments”. you playfully smack his head and he laughs of course like he always did.

“I mean at first I was a prissy little jerk but I’ll take annoying any day”. you hit his head again and laughs. You were finally there and he lands you carefully, making sure not to put any pressure on your knee. you swing your bag over your shoulder with an eyeroll, he folds his arms. 

“thank you soobin”. you roll your eyes pretending to be annoyed. 

“you’re welcome. work hard”. he calls out after you. And you did of course, still trying to account for the C that you were going to have. You weren’t the best math student but you were determined and that’s what really mattered. Having courage in the face of hardship always made you feel good about yourself. 

but you know what else made you feel good for some odd reason?

soobin waiting by the door for you at dismissal. It was weird, you just walked out of the room and he was just standing there like a valet or something.

“can I help you?”. you inquired raising an eyebrow. he gives you a side smile before squatting down again, patting his back. 

“soobin I can walk I swear”. he sighs again before taking things upon himself and putting you on his back anyways. secretly you were kind of grateful though. the hallways were always hectic during this time and it was kind of interesting seeing things from this height.

he cut through the crowd easily and went into the school parking lot heading towards his car. “where are you going?”. you ask only to get no response. He opens his passenger seat door and positions you there before closing the door behind you and sliding into the driver’s seat. 

“tell your mom you’re signing up for a club or something”. he suggests and sticks his key in the ignition. 

“why?”.

“because you’re not going home right now”.

“why not?”. you coax again. And soobin is just silently driving like you weren’t speaking to him. He was being a jerk so you slapped him on his wrists.

“why not soobin?”. 

“hey hey calm down. i’m going to take you somewhere”. 

he gives you a few glances noticing your mood wasn’t exactly up to par. 

“what’s the matter? why are you upset?”.

you fold your arms watching the scenery that sped past your car window. Soobin laughs. 

“so now you’re going to ignore me?”. 

you finally breathe, “I’m not ignoring you soobin”.

“then what’s the matter? you can tell me”. you take a glimpse at him and give up trying to hold it in. 

“I’m just... stressed because sister agatha is saying that I didn’t turn in my history exam when yesterday I literally worked so hard on it and turned it in I just--and then she didn’t even feel sorry that she was about to give me an F. She was just going to give it not even caring that my grade will drop. My parents will kill me if I have a grade lower than a B. And then I fell in gym class today and my knee hurts and i got embarrassed by the whole class. literally everyone laughed at me. the only person who tried to help me up was our instructor. It was so humiliating soobin”. 

“damn. that’s a pretty stressful day”.

“well you wouldn’t know. it’s not like you care about your grades and everyone in the school either loves you or is scared of you so they’d never laugh at you for anything embarrassing so I don’t know why I’m expecting you to understand”. 

“none of that means that I’m not sorry that those things happened to you today”. 

“i’m not some charity case soobin you don’t have to feel sorry for me”. 

soobin listened and nodded. you seemed pretty upset about your day so he didn’t want to bother you any further. he parked his car next to a place that was shaped sort of like a barn. you had no idea where you were, you just had soobin opening the passenger seat door for you convincing you to take another piggy back ride. 

“soobin, I can walk”. you attempted to step a foot out the car but soobin grabs it instead and squats down, bringing your arms around his neck again and your legs around his body. venting to soobin made you realize what a messed up day you had so you were too upset to fight back. he carries you to the front of the building and you noticed it happened to be a parlor built into the shape of a barn.

“what kind of ice cream do you want?”. soobin questions trying to get a good glance at the menu from his position in line. 

“soobin you don’t have to do this. it’s fine”. 

“i’ll just order you something to try”. he assures before it’s his turn in line. He orders strawberry ice cream for himself and rocky road ice cream for you. The guy hands him two waffle cones with spoons stuck in both. soobin decides to make good use of the colorful benches outside. Plus it was too beautiful and sunny of a day for the both of you to sit in his car. He parks you on the bench before he sits down himself. He slides you on his lap, making sure your legs were propped up properly with his knee. With his ice cream in one hand and yours in the other he takes a spoonful of your ice cream. 

“here comes the plane! wooooshh!”. soobin baby talks and flies it near your mouth. you sat with folded arms trying your hardest not to smile. 

“soobin I’m not that injured”. soobin stares at you before he goes into the biggest smile as if you told him the greatest news ever. he pushes air through his teeth trying to mock the sound of a plane engine. he jiggles the spoon lightly to make it seem as though the plane was patiently waiting. 

“say ah”.he coos like you were six months old. you roll your eyes opening your mouth so he could he stop being so cute. The ice cream was creamy and the chocolate was rich. The nuts and marsh mellows inside of it made it even tastier. you hum in satisfaction.

“is it good?”. he asks while taking a napkin and wiping the corners of your mouth. “I’ve never had rocky road before”. he comments again before licking his own ice cream. You watched his hair tousle over in the breeze. His doughy cheeks and eyes always looked cuter up close. 

“so you didn’t take me home because you wanted to eat ice cream?”. you say, while soobin prepares to feed you again. you let him because in all honesty, it was the cutest watching him do it.

“yeah”. 

“but why?”. 

“choo choo!!”. soobin whistles and drives the spoon in your mouth again. You laughed because it actually looked like he was having fun making the noises. 

“why? because your knee hurts and you’re having a bad day today”. you make a confused expression to which soobin replied,

“is it bad?’

“I’m wondering why you’re not being a prissy little jerk”. soobin licks the ice cream off his top lip. 

“hey today you called me annoying. you’ve upgraded me so i’ll no longer be responding to prissy little jerk anymore”. the both of you laugh in unison. he starts to rub your knee. which reminded you, 

“hey how’s your back?”. 

soobin shrugs and preps your spoon again. 

“It’s still sore I guess but it’s alright. I’m not used to getting beat but I’m used to the wounds”. 

“you’re not used to it?”. 

“well no because that shit hurts. it always does. It’s like 15 whips going across your back at once”. 

“how come you’ve never told anyone?”. 

“my parents are one of the richest people in this stupid ass town. they fund everything here. try telling everyone that the two people the town loves the most is abusing their son. they will all just call me spoiled and then my parents would beat me to death probably”. you wince at the image. 

“ouch”. 

“yeah, ouch”. he makes a small beeping noise while landing the spoon in your mouth again. 

“but what about your parents? they seem way nicer than mine”.

“really? how so?”. 

“well for starters they’re home waiting for you right now”.

“well i guess in that aspect but they’re just as religious and strict as yours. only thing is we don’t have one billion dollars to our name or something”. 

“i’d rather take that route”. 

“huh?”.

“yeah. having people around that constantly shows you love; I think I’d give up most of the things I own for that”.

“is that why you’re such a menace? because you want love?”. 

soobin stays silent and eats the rest of the ice cream off his spoon. he could’ve been silent all he wanted, but you knew the answer to that question. you rested your hand at the top of his head and lifted it so that his eyes were now on yours. Like you always predicted the stare was far more intense this time around. his brown eyes always comfortably made themselves at home in yours. And it was never an unwanted visit, you gladly accepted them each time, which made the stay better. 

you couldn’t feel his heart rate but you knew it was synchronizing with yours. you were more in tune with him this way than any other way. and slowly but surely you landed one right on his strawberry ice cream flavored lips. it made them much sweeter and tastier which resulted in swiping over his lips with your tongue as you kissed him. He was quite surprised to see your growth. you pulled away though, not wanting it to lead any further with your knee being hazardous. 

“thank you for kissing me”. soobin addresses. 

and you had no idea what it meant. of course he was saying thank you. but why?