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swappermanent · 10 days ago

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Life In Retrospect

It started, like most things in my life, with a bit of harmless indulgence. I’d been out on the beach, metal detector in hand, just doing my thing. Call it a classic old guy hobby if you want—I know it sounds like one—but there’s something oddly satisfying about it. You spend your whole life accumulating things, working toward something, and yet, in your later years, you find yourself searching for what’s been left behind.

That’s when I found it. The detector beeped, low and insistent, over something solid buried in the sand. Brushing it off, I uncovered a necklace—a little tarnished but still striking. The pendant was shaped like a bird, wings spread wide, with an intricate design that caught the light just so. It looked old. And valuable, maybe. Not the kind of thing you’d expect to find washed up on a beach in a sleepy town like mine.

Being the curious sort, I took it home and started looking into it. I’m no stranger to the internet, mind you. For an old guy, I know my way around a reverse image search. After a bit of digging, I finally found a match, buried in an obscure corner of the web. Turns out, this wasn’t just any necklace. According to the article, it had magical properties—something about granting the deepest, most hidden wishes. But there was a catch: the wishes had to be subconscious. Wear it, the story claimed, and the wish would find you.

remember chuckling at the idea. It sounded like something out of a fairy tale. But then I paused, looking at the necklace in my hand, and wondered what exactly my subconscious would want, if it had the chance. Money? I wasn’t exactly rich, but I got by just fine. Love? I’d missed that boat, never found someone to share my life with. Fame? Ha, the idea made me laugh—what would an old man like me even do with fame?

I didn’t expect much from it, but it was an interesting enough piece, and it looked good against a sweater or tucked under a jacket, so I wore it. Weeks went by, and honestly, I forgot about it.

---

One day, I found myself at the gym. It was a bit of a routine for me—not the way it used to be when I was younger, of course, but I kept at it, lifting lighter weights and trying to stay active. This wasn’t just any gym, either; it had a reputation around town. People called it the “gay gym”—not officially, of course, but you could tell. The men here were fit, stylish, and, well, meticulous about their bodies in a way I could only admire from a distance. They looked like they belonged in magazines, and I’ll admit, I liked to let my eyes wander now and then.

Still, I kept to myself. At my age, I wasn’t exactly in the social scene here, and I’d long since learned to stay on the sidelines. I came, did my exercises, enjoyed the view, and went home.

But that day, for the first time, someone came up to me. His name was Mikey, and I’d noticed him before, of course. Hard not to, really. He was exactly the kind of man I might've dreamed of being, if I ever let myself dream about that sort of thing. He was young, muscular, with a powerful, chiseled build that made his plain T-shirts look sculpted onto him. His dark hair was perfectly styled, a casual yet intentional wave falling over his forehead. And that mustache—thick, neatly trimmed, lending him a rugged, almost classic appeal, like he could’ve stepped out of a 1970s action movie. He even wore glasses, tortoiseshell frames that gave him an unexpected touch of charm and sophistication. I'd managed to snap a few photos of him before at the gym when he wasn't looking.

I’d seen him around for months, usually catching glimpses of him bench-pressing absurd weights or chatting with friends, his laughter deep and easy. He looked like the kind of guy who owned his confidence, who walked through life knowing that people admired him. And, hell, I was no exception. I'd spent enough stolen moments sneaking glances at those bulging arms, that thick neck, the way his shoulders seemed to strain the fabric of whatever he wore. Every time, I felt a little flutter inside—a mix of envy and something more primal, something I barely let myself think about.

So imagine my surprise when he came up to me. Even he seemed a little surprised, his brow creasing just slightly like he didn’t quite know what had prompted him to approach. And then, he asked me about my necklace.

“Hey, where’d you get that necklace?�� he said, eyes flicking from my face to the pendant hanging over my chest. “It’s… different. Kind of cool.”

I felt a little jolt of something—excitement, nerves, maybe both—at the attention. He wanted to know about my necklace? Of all things? I opened my mouth to respond, and then something strange happened. The words just… flowed. I started telling him all about it—how it had been crafted in some long-ago time by hands that shaped it with care, about the artisan who’d worked on it and how they were renowned for imbuing special powers into their pieces. I talked about the mystical properties, the magic of wishes hidden deep in one’s subconscious, waiting to be drawn out by the wearer.

Thing is, I didn’t know any of that. Not consciously. But as I spoke, it felt like I was reading from some invisible script, like the knowledge was being given to me as I said it out loud.

Mikey listened, his gaze locked onto the pendant, almost entranced. Then, he looked back up at me, that curiosity still burning in his eyes.

“Would you mind if I tried it on?” he asked, his voice a little softer, like he was almost embarrassed by the question.

Without a second thought, I nodded, slipping the necklace off and handing it over to him. He took it carefully, his fingers brushing mine—warm, rough skin, the kind that spoke of hard work and hours in the gym. He put it on, and I swear, the thing looked like it was made for him. It hung perfectly against his chest, the bird pendant resting right in the middle of that strong, solid frame.

As I watched him, something stirred in me. I felt a warmth spreading through my body, a tingling that started low and radiated outward, like a current of energy. I caught myself glancing down, noticing with a bit of embarrassment that I was half-hard. But I couldn’t help it—the sight of him, my necklace gleaming against his chest, his broad shoulders framed by that perfectly fitted T-shirt, was… well, let’s just say it was doing things to me.

“Actually,” I said, clearing my throat and giving him an appreciative once-over, “it suits you. Why don’t you keep it?”

Mikey’s eyebrows lifted, surprised but clearly pleased. “Really? You sure?”

“Yeah,” I said, my voice a little unsteady, trying to hide the flush of heat that was working its way up my neck. “Consider it a gift.”

---

That night, I felt warmer than I had in years—almost feverish, but not quite. I thought maybe I was coming down with something; I’d spent enough winters nursing colds to recognize that slight ache, the subtle throbbing behind my eyes. I drank water, tried to stay hydrated, but there was something strange about the feeling. It wasn’t just heat; it was a tingling sensation that seemed to move through my limbs, settling into every muscle and joint.

I told myself it was just exhaustion. Maybe I’d pushed myself too hard at the gym, or maybe the excitement of talking to Mikey had rattled my old bones more than I wanted to admit. Either way, I decided to call it a night, pulling the covers up and letting myself drift off to sleep.

But somewhere in the dead of night, I woke up drenched in sweat, sheets tangled around my legs. My skin felt hot, almost burning, and my heart pounded like I’d just sprinted a mile. I lay there in the dark, trying to orient myself, but nothing felt right. My arms, stretched out beside me, felt heavier, thicker somehow. I pushed up to sit, but even that felt… different.

For a moment, I thought I might be having a stroke or some other senior moment, and the thought made my stomach twist. Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to shake off the dizziness, to piece together where I was and what was happening.

But as I sat up and tried to get my bearings, the space around me looked foreign. Strange shadows fell across walls I didn’t recognize. There was a faint streetlight glow filtering through blinds that weren’t mine, casting an odd light over an unfamiliar dresser, scattered clothes, and a large mirror across the room.

Where am I?

I swung my legs out of bed, almost stumbling under my own weight. The muscles in my legs tensed and shifted in a way that felt… powerful, but wrong. Instinctively, I reached for the light switch, my fingers brushing over the unfamiliar nightstand before finding it. The room flooded with light, revealing more alien surroundings. Posters on the wall. Dumbbells in the corner. This wasn’t my bedroom. I didn’t own posters. Or dumbbells.

Disoriented, I took a few steps, bare feet touching cool, unfamiliar carpet, as I wandered toward the bathroom. I had to steady myself on the doorframe—the sheer strength I felt in my grip, in the size of my hand, jolted through me. I flipped on the bathroom light and looked up, squinting against the sudden brightness.

And then I saw him. Mikey.

In the mirror was his face, his body—muscular and tanned, dark hair tousled and falling forward slightly. I could feel my heart hammering in his broad chest, watched his—my—eyes go wide as I touched my face, tracing over a jawline sharper than I’d ever had, rough stubble under my fingers.

“Oh… my god,” I whispered, hearing Mikey’s voice, deep and smooth, coming from my own mouth. The face in the mirror looked just as shocked as I felt, my hands gripping the edges of the sink to steady myself as I took in the sight of every inch of him—of me.

A thrill shot through me, warmth bubbling up from my stomach as I ran my hand over the expanse of his—my—shoulders, over the swell of the chest, down to the ridged abs, and finally feeling up his impressive package. I couldn’t stop the smirk creeping onto his—my—face, couldn’t stop the pulse of excitement thrumming through me. Holy hell. This was real. I was Mikey.

And then, with a jolt, I realized something was missing. My hand went up to my neck instinctively, searching for the familiar weight of the necklace, but my fingers brushed only bare skin. No chain. No pendant.

A part of me, somewhere deep down, was concerned—confused and alarmed, really—but right now, looking at the smirking, shirtless, muscular guy in the mirror, the overwhelming feeling was… arousal. I’d never looked like this. I’d never felt like this.

Stay Tuned For Part 2.

#Mikey Narine

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writingquestionsanswered · 6 months ago

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i'm currently trying to write a story with second chance trope. the story is about a friend group since childhood of 2 girls and 4 boys. the female mc and the male mc were developing feelings for each other, then the male mc left the country without telling anyone. after 3 years of no contact, he comes back. naturally, the female mc has a lot of pent up resentment towards him but she still has romantic feelings for him.

so, any tips on writing a second chance romance?

Second Chance Romance

There are five really important keys to writing a good second chance romance:

1 - Create a Sense of What Was - Even if the story starts after that first relationship (or almost relationship) ended, it's important to give the reader a sense of what that relationship was like. What drew them to one another initially? What were their interactions like? What strengthened their bond? You can paint this picture using a combination of flashbacks, memories recalled in exposition, memories recalled in dialogue, having the character look at photos or video, comparing present experiences with past ones, or even through snippets in dreams.

2 - Be Clear About What Went Wrong - The reader can't root for a second chance if they don't understand what went wrong the first time around. Specific to your story, you'll need to address not only why this character suddenly left the country without telling anyone and without contact, but how they rationalized the negative impact it would have on this person they were beginning to develop a relationship with.

3 - Be Clear About What Went Right - Sometimes relationships fail, even if their foundations are good, but that second go round isn't plausible unless there was something worth going back to. So, not only is it important to be clear about what was good about the relationship when you illustrate it in retrospect, you'll also have to show us those things are still there--or have the potential to be.

4 - Illustrate What Changed - The relationship failed for a reason. Whether there was hurt involved, poor timing, wanting different things, or some other obstacle to progress. So, you can't give this couple a plausible shot at a second chance unless you show us how the obstacles were removed or overcome. In the case of your story specifically, not only will you need to address why the character left in the first place, but why they chose to come home, and how they make amends for disappearing without notice or contact.

5 - Rebuild Relationship Upon Old and New - I like to think of it like this: imagine the concrete slab foundation of a house. This is what the couple built together in round one. But when they parted, the foundation was damaged in places (the amount of damage obviously depends on what caused the split.) When they meet up again, the foundation is still there, it's just got the old damaged parts and a lot of erosion from time and weathering. But it's there. So as they work through what went wrong and patch up their friendship, they patch up the damage from their split. Then, as they get to know each other again and the friendship reestablishes itself, the foundation gets cleaned back up and brought back up to pristine. And from there, they can build the walls of their healthy relationship.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

#wqaadvice

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strawwritesfic · 5 months ago

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(Don't) Hold Your Breath Master List

Summary: You've made a lot of monumental mistakes in your life. Cutting your arm off isn't even at the top of the list. Now you're about to learn a lot of life lessons at the hands of your savior and her brute of a guardian--and they're not about to let you learn them the easy way either.

Challenge: "#32 in His Rulebook" by Edible Heart Monster on Lunaescence Archives

Ratings/Warnings/Tags: M (post-The Last of Us; excessive swearing; sexual references; violence against children; infected children; references to abortion; references to cannibalism; references to starvation; references to riots; implied domestic abuse; implied grooming; implied sexual relationship between an adult and a minor; death of a parent; violence; gore; blood; gun use; ableism; amputee!Reader; enemies to lovers; not canon compliant)

Pairings/Relationships: Joel/Reader; Tommy/Maria; Reader/Male!OC; Reader & Ellie; Ellie & Joel; Ellie & Maria & Tommy

Notes: I've received a few asks regarding this fic. I'd deleted it a few years ago for various reasons, but I got into my old laptop recently and decided that, well, if people have cared enough to track me down and ask about it, maybe I should put it back online.

My feelings about this story are…complicated, which is why I'm hoping people read this before they jump in. The Last of Us is a dark story, and so this story has a lot of dark themes. They're not always executed very well. That might lessen the impact. Maybe it makes it worse. I don't know. But this is a very different sort of work for me. I feel, in retrospect, that I went a little overboard in some aspects. And I don't know how to really even begin putting in warning tags for some of the stuff that's just brushed off like nothing because, to the point of view character, it isn't worth dwelling on. If there's something you see that you feel needs a warning, tell me. I'll add it.

I think the most important thing for me to get out there is that the reader character is an amputee. I had people claiming to be amputees telling me I did a lovely job, but more crucially, I had someone claiming to be an amputee that told me that they didn't like that even 18 chapters in, I was having the reader character struggle with using only one arm in various ways and keep complaining about her situation. I respect that. My thought process during writing was that, in a world without physical therapy or prosthetic limbs, it would be much more difficult to adjust to suddenly having only one arm (and the nondominant arm, at that). And the character whining was because she's got a lot of self-pity that she has to work to get over. That being said, I really took that criticism to heart. I had every intention of drawing back on both aspects…I just never actually wrote another chapter. But, you know, if this gets enough attention for me to justify finishing the story, that's 100% on the to-do list.

I'm not changing anything. It's going up as-is. I'm going to do a quick proofread, of course, and catch a few more typos (I hope), but the excessive swearing and the weird coffee and the thing with Ellie using bang snaps inappropriately are staying in. I'm not doing a line-by-line rewrite like I have with my KHR stuff.

This is not intended to be canon to the television show. I've never seen it, and I don't plan to watch it. This is not intended to be canon to The Last of Us Part II. I've never played it or watched anyone else play it, and I never will. The only thing that this work might have in common with those is that Ellie is a lesbian, because I always intended to give her a girlfriend in this even way before the second game came out.

Anyway, I hope the handful of people that were (mysteriously, miraculously) searching for this story don't find themselves too disappointed now that they can read it again. Thanks for reaching out. It means a lot to me.

Posting Status: Incomplete

Story Status: Discontinued post-Chapter 17

Rule #1: Shut up. The enemy might hear you.

Rule #2: Try not to get yourself hurt.

Rule #3: Try not to get yourself killed. God, are you that stupid?

Rule #4: Quit stealing shit.

Rule #5: Don't touch anything.

Rule #6: Don't piss off the locals.

Rule #7: First impressions are important, so don't be yourself.

Rule #8: The villagers are always a little stupid. Try not to contract that.

Rule #9: If you fall off a roof, don't let go. Nothing will catch you.

Rule #10: Again, the enemy can hear you, so shut up.

Rule #11: If you get badly burned, let me put some ice on it for God’s sake.

Rule #12: If you can’t swim, tell me beforehand. Otherwise I won’t notice if you start drowning.

Rule #13: Don't wander; things around here will kill you.

Rule #14: If it’s your birthday, just remember it’s your fault if we get ambushed at the party.

#straw writes #fan fic #reader insert #second person pov #the last of us #joel #joel miller #joel x reader #joel x you #joel x y/n #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #the last of us reader insert #the last of us x reader #the last of us x you #the last of us x y/n

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popculturebuffet · 3 months ago

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Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck Retrospective

Hello all you happy people. I'm jake, I do reviews and in 2020, towards the start of this blog, I started a retrospective of the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck and after a long hiatus and with help from my good friend kev, I finally finishe dit. I intended for this to be a post of ALL 12 chapters, but tumblr wouldn't let me do that so instead here's my previous compliation of the first 9 linked bellow followed by the final 3. It's a mild pain in the ass I know. ON the bright side I did go back and touch up a few chapters as I forgot to add a quote to king of the klondike and the final two chapters and for reasons lost to time quoted man down under for Dreamtime Duck of Never Never.

This also seems like the perfect place to announce a little something special for next year. Starting January 2025 Kev is using his patreons to continue the project: While the main 12 part story is done there's still a bunch of extra chapters Rosa did over his career, from the prequel published shortly before this story of Ducks Dimes and Destinies, to my personal faviorite Disney Duck Story and perfect epilogue to Barks Run as a whole, Dream of a LIfetime, to this story's direct sequel a letter from home and that story's unintetional prequel the old castle's secret. There's a lot more life and times to explore and you'll be seeing it all next year. THank you for reading and enjoy

#scrooge mcduck #don rosa #hortense mcduck #matilda mcduck #flintheart glomgold #donald duck #comics #disney #reviews #retrospective

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ineffabildaddy · 1 year ago

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on today's episode of understanding good omens through my own life:

a story about my ineffable inevitable queer teenage experience with an intense, volatile, fiercely affectionate 'friendship' that was definitely not just a friendship in retrospect.

when i was eleven, i started secondary school, and i met a girl who quickly became my best friend (i'm a trans man, and i also understood myself as a girl at the time. i still understand myself as a girl at that time). we became known as a unit because we couldn't get enough of each other, and we did absolutely everything together.

on the first day of our second year, we saw each other for the first time in several weeks because she had been away in her home country that summer. i had been counting down the seconds until she came back. when she was in the process of giving out souvenirs from her trip to all our friends, she waited until she saw i was alone and approached me. she handed me a ziploc bag full of shells and rock fragments.

"i picked these out for you at the beach," she said.

i thanked her and asked her to show me the bags of shells she'd made up for the others.

"i didn't do this for the others. i only did it for you," she responded, and walked away.

i had never felt anything like what i felt in that moment, and i haven't since. i was a lonely kid, especially before that age. what i mean to say is... no one had ever done anything just for me. no one had ever thought of me when i wasn't there; no one had ever taken the time to give me something that they had so carefully picked out; no one had ever stated with such conviction, in what was said or what was unsaid, that what they had done for me was not to be enjoyed by anyone else.

i like to remember this when i try to understand this moment in good omens:

i can't begin to comprehend what aziraphale must have felt in that moment, but remembering that day of my own life is the closest thing i've got.

mere months after that day, we started to argue. we had a huge falling out. i told her that no one on earth was capable of hurting me quite like she was (thirteen year-old me, in her own twisted way, thought that was a compliment). she told me in no uncertain terms that she couldn't stand me. we stopped talking.

a few months after that, we reconciled and we became closer than ever, but that tension, that unrest, was always lying under the surface, just waiting to gnash its teeth - and sometimes it did. these were also the years in which we were discovering our queer identities, and it took us a long time to really understand each other's journeys in that regard.

at sixteen, we both left our school and moved to a different institution till we graduated at eighteen. though we were at the same sixth form college, we just had different lives and didn't hang out anymore, though we remained on good terms. now, we text every once in a while, and we always say we'll meet up, but we never do. in october of last year, i bumped into her for the first time in maybe four years while coming home from a pavement gig. she was sitting on the doorstep of her parents' place with a roll-up cigarette. it was like no time had passed.

looking back, i can say with full confidence that i was in love with her. i do not know how else to understand our relationship. she drove me up the wall the way she did because i had never felt anything like what i felt for her for anyone else - and i haven't to this day.

even now, every time she is even mentioned in conversation, i dream about her the night following. and i still have those shells, hidden away in a wooden box i've never shown anyone; it's not too far from the shoebox that contains every note she ever passed me, every doodle she ever drew for me, every card she ever wrote me. in other words, i was permanently altered by our relationship, and her absence from my life has never diminished that. the same can naturally be said of crowley and aziraphale, to a much, much greater extent. i relive my memories of us because they help me understand many things about myself and others, and i've recently found that good omens has encouraged this.

this ended up longer than i intended but i hope you got something out of it.<3

#good omens #personal #ineffabildaddy #1941

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frodo-with-glasses · 1 year ago

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25 Questions with Phil Dragash: YES, SERIOUSLY!

So y'all know how I was reviewing Phil Dragash's audiobook of LotR last year, but kinda fell off somewhere in the middle of Rohan?? Well, guess what! A couple weeks ago, I received a tumblr message from the man himself, saying he'd read through all my reviews, had really enjoyed the little blast from the past, and was open to answering questions if I had any!

So of course, I had LOTS of questions.

The first one being: "Are you actually the real Phil Dragash??"

But I'm delighted to say that after exchanging emails with the work email listed on his website, I can confidently say that it is the real dude, and I've had a blast chatting with him! So for those of you who urged I listen to this audiobook—especially @laurelindorenan for her glowing recommendation—and for everyone else who likes the audiobook and/or enjoyed my reviews: I am delighted to present, ladies and gentlehobbits, this peek behind the curtain!

But of course I'm putting it all below the cut, because this man rambles like I do 🤣

Obligatory disclaimer: All opinions presented by Mr. Dragash are his own, I am not necessarily condoning any of them; please do not come after me for his opinions regarding pineapple on pizza.

25 QUESTIONS, LET'S GO!

1. Tell me how you got into Lord of the Rings!

I was ten years old when my dad took me to the library, and found a VHS copy of Ralph Bakshi’s 1978 animated Lord of the Rings film. I was already a fan of the “Chronicles of Narnia” and my dad just handed the tape to me and said “Look, C.S. Lewis’s friend made this”. I watched it, and had no idea what was going on. It was so hard to understand.

Fast forward to the year 2002 when “Fellowship” was out on DVD, and we had a movie night at my older cousin’s place, and watched the film for the first time. My 13 year old self was enraptured by it. Dad bought the DVD first thing the next day, and I’ve been a fan ever since! I, my brother, and our dad watched “Return of the King” in theaters four times, which was saying something, considering we only ever saw a movie once in cinemas. Between “The Return of the King” opening in December ‘03, I picked up the books and read (as well as I could) through them. A lot of friends kept joking “tell us how the damn story ends!”, good times.

2. When and how did you decide to make this audiobook? What’s the story behind the entire project?

I was a very ambitious lad, and my first and biggest interest was filmmaking. I used to direct short films with my friends ever since my 11th birthday, and was the youngest in class at the filmschool I attended a few years later. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that I had massive ambitions to direct “the Hobbit”, which is silly in retrospect considering I was 16 years old at the time. I even sent my portfolio and DVDs of my films to Peter Jackson’s manager (who actually got back to me with a wonderful response, despite not being able to accept my ‘completely reasonable’ offer) When I was heartbroken and torn to pieces knowing I wouldn’t be directing the movie, a few more years went by, and I decided to reread some chapters of the “Lord of the Rings” books. I remember really well that this was late at night, laying in bed, and going through “King of the Golden Hall” and seeing how close to the movies it was, but also far more expanded. I thought “my extensive home-made short movies experience with sound design and sound mixing could work here, and I could just read a few chapters and try to make the soundscape as realistic as possible. Why not try it?”

So, the next day I tried. The first two chapters I tried were “King of the Golden Hall” and “A Journey in the Dark” (which partly answers your other question about that chapter). I was so absolutely surprised by how well it was going, that I decided to upload them onto YouTube in March 2010 I think. I got a fairly good response, and I was planning on doing a few more random chapters. I never intended to do the whole thing. But this one comment on YouTube I’ll always remember, it said: “I think you should go from start to finish, because you’ll probably get used to the characters and sounds and people can also follow along in the story gradually”.

Taking that suggestion to heart, in August 2010 I went from Chapter 1 onward.

3. Were you inspired by any other audiobook versions of LotR (such as the BBC radio drama)?

I was not, I actually haven’t listened to the BBC Radio drama until far ahead into the project I was doing. I did some research on what other audio productions anyone did with LOTR, from The Mind’s Eye edition, to the ‘60s Hobbit Radio Play; so I felt pretty confident. I just fell in love with the way the films brought Middle-Earth to life and seeing their incredible dedication for authenticity (from the props department, to the music), you really couldn’t do any better than that visually or audibly - at least in my opinion. I just wanted to hear Tolkien’s text but with the realisation of the films.

However, if you listen to Chapter 1 of TTT, and hear how Legolas laments their absence from not being there to help Boromir at Amon Hen, you can clearly hear the inflection from the BBC Radio play’s version. I just lifted that because I thought it was a fantastic way to deliver the line.

4. Did you have any rituals for “getting into character” before recording?

If I were to show you the raw unedited recording sessions, you’d probably be surprised at how underdeveloped it is! I had no real rituals or warmups, I just went for it. Usually went in cold, and tried reading the entire chapter and doing all the voices at once. Then I’d be exhausted, and afterwards start cutting all the mistakes, and separating each character into different tracks – and then re-recording 50%-70% of it, as I was laying in the sounds.

I think any character just needs a few words for me to say in their voice, and that helps for the rest of their dialogue. For Aragorn it was usually: “You cannot wield it! None of us can.” for Pippin it was: “Sometimes”, just random things that make things ‘click’ in my head. If I got lost or didn’t feel like the performances were working, I’d simply just watch scenes from the films to hear the real actors again!

5. Who was your favorite character to voice? Who was your least favorite? And why?

People who know me, know I love doing the villains. Sauron, the orcs, the Nazgûl, etc. I just love the idea of personifying things that scare you. Something completely the opposite of who you are. Always a fun time! Any character I can nail extremely accurately always makes me happy, but I’m always very critical of my own work, so it’s a rare thing.

My least favorite characters to voice are: Imrahil, Denethor, Arwen, Celeborn, Galadriel, Erestor, Lindir, Haldir, Goldberry, Gildor… I think the pattern is pretty obvious if you realize that I am incapable of providing a satisfactory voice that feels unique enough. They just sound to me like “I wish I had a broader range. They weren’t done justice.” I have feelings for most of the characters in this situation, but I’m a mere mortal. I can’t do all of them as well as I wish I could. I wish Aragorn was more like Viggo Mortensen’s voice (I tried with the nasally yells you mentioned!), I wish Gandalf had a richer tone, I wish Saruman sounded more majestic, and I wish Frodo was - in retrospect- more older sounding, too. There’s so much I wish I could do better, but to hell with it, I tried.

Fun fact: my least-favorite to voice are also Orcs because they destroy my throat after a while. Which is ironic, because of my first statement.

6. I noticed that you gave the men of Rohan and Gondor slightly different dialects! Are you pulling from any real-world accents to make that happen?

I did try to listen to Anglo-Saxon, and ancient norse but I just tried to make Rohan and Gondor slightly distinct in any way I could. I never really tried to make things too obvious, but admittedly, I think I just used my intuition (smoothing the R’s for the Rohirrim, making the Gondorians more ‘proper’, etc.). I do want to emphasize that this was a one-person project and keeping things together or consistent is definitely an extraneous exercise when you’re just trying to get something finished by yourself!

7. Some characters (like Beregond and Quickbeam, to name a couple of my favorites) aren’t in the movies, so they don’t have an actor for you to imitate. How did you decide what they would sound like?

Well, in the case of Beregond, I realized he was just “your ordinary guy”, and seeing Minas Tirith through his eyes (and Pippin’s) is such an amazing and interesting opportunity. It made the city feel so real, and I wanted to take advantage of that. I think I started with a ‘generic’ voice, but when I re-recorded him knowing more and more of the context and what he was saying to Pippin, and as a result who he is, made me adjust what I felt were more his personality. But still that ‘ordinary guy’ idea was the bedrock, and it’s been years since I heard that chapter, but I hope it holds up! (I just remembered Bergil is in that too, another voice I wish I could have done better)

Another fun fact: when Pippin scares the kids in Minas Tirith, the audio was from something I videotaped when I was 10 years old with my friends, it had the perfect “kids-going-aaah!” sound.

If I had it my way, I’d have a cast of dozens in this Audiobook, so a lot of times I never felt like my voice was enough to truly capture the “We’re in Middle-Earth, we just have microphones to record it” idea. So I have to make compromises since I was the only one doing the voices. That being said, Quickbeam was a fun surprise because he felt like, as you said “young treebeard”, and these things just worked out through experimentation! I think Quickbeam turned out pretty nice. I like Quickbeam.

8. HOW—I ask with great enthusiasm—DID YOU DO TREEBEARD’S VOICE? How did you get that resonance and woody sound? Did you send your voice through a wooden box and re-record it on the other side like they did in the movies?

It’s really great that you know all the behind the scenes stories from the films! Especially what Ethan Van der Ryn, David Farmer, and the late Michael Hopkins have done with their incredible creativity. I had no such resources to produce Treebeard’s sound. What I did was a digital facsimile: a special ‘room’ reverb, with some other equalizing effects to boost the bass and (maybe, I can’t remember) another higher pitched track of the same voice faintly in there.

You won’t believe this, but I was not going to do The Two Towers audiobook unless I could do a good Treebeard voice. In 2011 after finishing “Fellowship”, I was on the fence about continuing, and only committed once I knew I could do Treebeard right. Treebeard was the key to all this. This should come to no surprise to the ones who played the game, but I used a lot of sound effects from ‘Battle for Middle-Earth’ which contained a lot of clean sounds for ents, trolls, the balrog, the ringwraiths, and other monsters from the films. I used the ent’s footsteps from the games, and recorded my own foley for some of the trees snapping and leaves rustling as well. The “fart” sounds were the low creaking of tree branches, and - as they stated in the making-of for the films - very pitched down cow moos.

9. Tell me about the foley work! Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been that nerd who watched the Behind The Scenes featurettes for fun, so I’m very interested to hear how you made the sound effects for footsteps and whistling arrows and jangling horse harnesses and such.

I’m glad you are! I’ve collected sound libraries (ripped from video games, and finding and buying sound packs) for a literal decade, because I always needed sounds for the short films I made when I was younger. I just kept learning about how to mix sounds together, and it’s very creative and very enjoyable! That being said, the foley work itself is mostly recorded by me. If I can’t find a sound in the library I have, I will record it. Clothing rustles, and touch are all recorded while I listen to the audiobook playback and ‘perform’ each character. It’s a really arduous process, but I think it adds so much life into the sound.

I went out into the woods (or backyard) with my mic to record footsteps, sometimes I would listen to the audiobook with headphones while performing the footsteps. When I would have traveled somewhere with different terrain I would be sure to record more foley (rocks being moved, or pebbles being stepped on) knowing I’ll use it for certain chapters. I do not want to reveal a huge secret about the predominant foley for the character's clothes, but an old backpack I used were 90% of the characters’ ‘movements’. Some wingflaps of the fell beasts were just my jeans. It’s a really creative process trying to find things that ‘sound’ right for an environment or action. The magic is putting them all together and hearing the result. Also, yes Sam’s pan is my grandma’s frying pan, and I know it’s sometimes annoying, but - look - Sam has a lot of stuff to carry.

I start with the background sounds (wind, tree rustles, water if there is any, etc.) lots of layers of them just to make them sound unique and not the same. Then I move to selective and nearer environmental background sounds. Then, the ‘hero’ sounds, the effects that are integral to the story (if it’s sword clashes, or an explosion, or who knows what), and finally the foley (footsteps, clothing rustles, breaths, etc.) - I had a friend record her own horses breathing and moving for a lot of closeups of the horses in the audiobooks. I think even if you can’t really hear some of their low breaths, their presence is still ‘there’. I personally think I got a lot better by the end of LOTR than when I started!

I wanted to add, the sounds for little Elanor in the very last scene of “The Return of the King” (the baby sounds), I was not happy with the stock baby sounds I had, and asked my older cousin (an audio person too!) to send me recordings he made of his then-1-year-old daughter in a studio. So, my first-cousin-once-removed is Elanor! She’s 22 now. I feel old.

10. Do you have a favorite sound effect from this project? Mine is the “pat-pat” against cloth that’s used to denote a hug.

Absolutely, do you remember the two “watchers” before the tower of Cirith Ungol? The vulture-like statues that block the hobbit’s path out? The alarm sound is a wholly original sound design I did, and I’m really happy with it. It’s just ugly sounding, and that’s the point. I always wished I had more Nazgul, and I think the worst moments I had with mixing were the battle scenes. There’s just too much to handle and make it sound good. But I really tried.

I’m very glad you heard the ‘pat-pat’s. I try my best to perform every character when recording foley, and want even some of the sounds to convey something in the telling of the story.

11. What's the thought process behind your use of the various musical motifs from Howard Shore's score? (Read: Why do you use the Shire theme so often, and why does it get me in the heart every single time?)

I want everyone to know that this is a really important and valuable question, and one I never really get to talk about: To me, Howard Shore’s music is one of the very best things to come out of the films. He truly made an opera out of the story, and all his leitmotifs and orchestrations are a stroke of genius. They work on their own, and when reading the books as well, and as a nerd for films and all that stuff, I wanted to put a lot of care into how I’m placing the score, and for what scene, emotionally and leitmotivically, if that’s a word.

The Audiobook I did is obviously a ‘standing on the shoulders of giants’ situation, so I can’t credit myself for the majority of the Audiobook I did, but I wanted to use all my filmmaking intuition to properly use the music to enhance the telling of the story. So, just like the filmmakers had to change and mix lines from the book, or make changes to make it work as a film, I felt like a lot of instances happened with the music for the audiobook. Obviously, I used the score when applicable to the intended scenes, but there are very often cases where they won’t work. I read as much as I could in the past about what the motifs were and where Shore used them in the movies, so I followed that trajectory for the most part. Gondor is Gondor, Rohan is Rohan, Mordor is Mordor, etc.

Changes happen when I feel the emotions for a scene in the books do not match up to the ones in the films, and then there are brand new scenes and characters not in the movies at all, that I have to figure out! Take the pause from music between Gandalf falling into the chasm with the Balrog, and the fellowship successfully escaping. It’s perfect in the film, but I knew I couldn’t put the lamenting heartbreaking music in there yet, since the descriptions all drive the idea that escape is paramount. So I treated it as a ‘shock’ moment. No music until they’re completely out of the mountain, then the grief comes in. Things like that, a lot of fun creative thinking to get those emotions working!

I recall you mentioning the ‘Gimli / Legolas drinking game’ statement and how I used the hell out of it throughout the Audiobook, which is a good example. I pitched it up and down, for different moments, and it just has that hobbit mundane and jolly quality to it. So, in it goes to fill moments from the books.

I also edited and modified existing motifs for completely different scenes and ideas. One of my favorites is when Treebeard talks about the Entwives. I needed this melancholy yearning sound that was really essential, and found it by reversing Eowyn’s theme, and pitching it down so the violin sounds like a cello/bass. To me it just felt extremely appropriate for the sound of a long-lost relationship while portraying a larger-than-life creature.

Let’s also say Bombadil. I made up the idea that the last statement in the credits for “Return of the King”, was Bombadil’s theme. It’s actually just a reference to Der Ring des Nibelungen by Wagner, a very verbose beautiful crescendo, but I thought “I’ll pretend like it’s Bombadil, he’s last in the score even though he’s the first in Arda”. So I used that musical progression in his songs, that’s his leitmotif now (to me, anyway) He sings in that wavy up-and-down melody. Which is why you hear a lot of that in those chapters.

I also try to use recordings not from the original score: I looked far and wide for alternative recordings, predominantly the album by the Royal Prague Philharmonic, and the “LOTR Symphony”, just to make the Audiobooks feel different. I pitched down and moved and reassembled a lot of different cues for different scenes as well.

There are not a lot of instances of music from other movies, however, they do exist! I used music from “Battle for Middle-Earth”, the game “War in the North”, and for the last few chapters, “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” since it just came out at the time. I used a lot of music from Howard Shore’s “Seven” and “The Game” during Shelob (I think), and for the Barrow-Downs. I used a tiny bit of underscore from the brilliant Don Davis’s “The Matrix Reloaded”, it had a really eerie choir which made me feel like it would be perfect for the fatigue and dizzying unreality of Mordor when Sam and Frodo were on their last leg, trying to get to Mt. Doom. Lastly, I used a little bit of music from Howard Shore’s “Twilight: Eclipse” for some dialogue scenes during Return of the King! And music from the independent film “Mongol” by Tuomas Kantelinen for the Woses when Theoden has to get help from Ghan-Buri-Ghan. Also the ending of ROTK has a few cues from “The Lord of the Rings musical”, lovely stuff.

It may surprise you that there is a small amount of score I actually ‘wrote’ with help from my brother (he’s a musician). It’s in the coronation of Elessar. It’s not very good but I needed something. There is also a cello version of “to the edge of night”, which I kindly asked permission to use by YouTube celloist, but I sadly don't think that video is up anymore.

Lastly, I use the Shire music so much because - just like Howard Shore said - it becomes a ‘hymn’ or an ‘anthem’ for the hobbits as they leave their comforts behind and are in a wide and unfamiliar world. Every little bit that reminds them of home, or relates to each of them, usually deserves a little ‘shire’ statement here and there. I feel if it’s in the characters’ hearts and minds, it has to be expressed in the music!

12. Out of all the chapters I’ve listened to so far on the Internet Archive, “A Journey in the Dark” is the one most plagued with editing issues; Sam’s temper tantrum over leaving Bill the Pony is cut out entirely. Which is a shame, because I was really looking forward to hearing your take on that. (Is it strange to say that I wanted to hear you break down into blubbering tears? Probably. Let’s ignore that and move on.) Is there any chance that you have a cleaner edit of that chapter somewhere?

I think you’ll be very unsurprised to know that “A Journey in the Dark” is the first chapter I ever recorded. I think you’ll also need to know that I did FOTR when I was 21 years old, and my grasp on doing better sound mixing or even getting the characters right was still a work in progress. I learned so much going chapter-by-chapter and felt that each succeeding one improves from the former. As a demo-run, I did “King of the Golden Hall '' and “Journey in the Dark” in early 2010 (in fact, I did only the first half of “JITD” back then. Stopping right after they are barred inside the mines, as the Watcher destroys the gate. I did the second half once I caught up with the story going chapter-by-chapter.)

There are so many issues with it, and I haven’t listened to it since. If you have headphones you’ll also notice that none of the voices really pan from left to right, or feel like they’re ever anywhere else except the dead-center. I was lazy back then.

When I read the chapters, at the time, I was sharing an ‘office room’ with my younger brother, and as a teenaged younger brother does - continues strumming his guitar no matter what the other brother is doing. It was really fun, and funny and I was extremely sloppy with editing things out, and taking it too seriously. So, for sure you can hear ‘someone’ in the background during the early parts of FOTR, and I was too lazy to re-record or edit out the noises that weren’t supposed to be there.

Forgive me if this part is a lot longer, but now that you mention it, I want to get on my soap-box and rant about how many things I agree with about the Audiobook’s shortcomings and how many things have changed since the wee days of 2010:

I didn’t really get a grasp on the characters, and I had no idea I was going to do the entire book. I did not take enough care with sound mixing (it’s a highly technical and rigorous practice, I’ve discovered. Even now, ten plus years later - it’s too technical for me to fully understand yet), and I did not thoroughly re-listen to the chapter when I was done with an edit or a sound-effects pass. Therefore there’s always been mistakes still in there, and just unpleasantly careless placement of sounds and music. I have often thought about re-recording it to get it up to scratch, but it’s been over a decade and I haven’t properly preserved all the sound stems without having to re-sound-mix the whole chapter again, and there is that little thing called ‘burnout’ which is hard to ignore. So, I apologize to everyone who has to suffer through that huge drop in quality with “A Journey in the Dark”. It quite literally was my first attempt, and it definitely shows.

The good news is that a fan asked me the same thing about the missing piece in that chapter (the one you mentioned! With Sam and Bill!), and I’ve heard the same comments about it throughout the years. Why is it missing? I don’t know why! I recorded it, but in my loose run-and-gun past when I was a wee lad, I was careless, and just had the mp3 with that part missing. A rendering error, perhaps! Stupid 21 year old Phil just hodgepoging everything.

A Few months ago, I did get another email about that missing piece. I thought “okay, once and for all, I’m going to find that missing part.” - and I searched my old harddrives for some kind of archival copy with that part in it. Amazingly, it was a lot harder to find than I thought. Every rendered version of JITD either stopped right before that scene, or had it omitted. I actually found one half of it as a ‘demo’ piece I rendered years ago for a ‘sound trailer’, and then I finally found the original YouTube video I made - which had it intact! Now the hardest part was stitching it together with the rest. Took longer than I thought, but I finally amended this horrible incompetence. And yes, I will share the link to you! And be prepared to be disappointed at the 2010-era quality!

I don’t know if anyone knows this, but with the mp3s circling around, I have taken the liberty of re-recording and re-working some chapters from their original versions. I try my best to preserve the originals, but I also wish people to listen to the re-records. I have actually re-recorded and re-mastered “A Long-Expected Party” three times. 2011, 2013, and 2014. I re-recorded “King of the Golden Hall” in 2013, and “Shadow of the Past” in 2014. I usually try labelling the dates on the mp3 files themselves. The one I’m most proud of re-recording bits of, is “The Pyre of Denethor” as the first time I had Denethor say his last words he was mildly raising his voice, but I listened to it again one day and went “this man should be at the edge of sanity.” - so he absolutely yells now, and it’s such a night-and-day comparison.

Another addendum: I completely understand the complaints about ‘the sound/music drowning out the dialogue’. It’s been the #1 complaint over the decade. I completely understand. I never had professional sound mixing gear, nor did I have proper mixing headphones or speakers or a proper studio (most of the audiobook was recorded at my grandmother’s house!). The balance of the audio making it sound immersive, (like you are there!) and having clear dialogue to hear is - like I said - an extremely technical and complex process that I’ve never had the ability or tech to master. Let alone for a book that’s 48 hours long, and has so much sound and music to it. Nothing would bring me more joy than to work with an experienced sound mixer, and find all my audio stems, and for us to work together to clear up any and all issues. But as this project was a simple fan-made work, and I haven’t distributed it myself for a decade, who knows?

This is also why I never went on to do “The Hobbit”. Burnout is real, and I’ve never recovered from LOTR. The burnout… “it’s never really healed, Sam.”

13. What was your favorite scene to record and mix?

Mount Doom. Can’t get better than trying to make the climax as horrible and eucatastrophic as that. It all led up to this, and it was such a rush to work on. I remember how I was at the edge of my seat watching ROTK in cinemas for the first time, and how amazingly they pulled it off, and I wanted to definitely imitate that, but using Tolkien’s own writing. Just so cool.

I have two favorite chapters: The first one is “The Scouring of the Shire”. I remember well, when I was working on it, I realized this has never been ‘dramatized’ before. At least not in full. I felt so special being the first one (probably) to do it. I could imagine the entire chapter in my head like a film, and I could bring it to life with very little outside influence. Such a poignant and shocking chapter.

I don’t think I would have done it as well without the experience I gained doing the rest of the Audiobook. Showing the strength of the four hobbits, portraying the dignity and resolve of their kind, giving that pathetic yet dangerous authenticity to Sharkey, and the ruffians, illustrating the battle of bywater with sound… this was done in 2013, so we all were able to listen to new music by Howard Shore (for The Hobbit), and I would be able to transpose motifs from that, into “Scouring”, and honestly I wouldn’t know how it would have worked out if the Hobbit films didn’t come out just at the right time. I think the score fits so well with the events of “Scouring”, there is a ‘mordor’ theme but it feels ‘unfinished’, like the remnant of an old defeated foe; there’s that wily progression for Radagast in the films, that I used for the hobbit’s rebellion and the conflict, and there’s a new ‘hobbit/shire’ motif that worked so perfectly for a ‘wounded, but recovering’ Shire. I feel so silly talking about decisions I made for this, but I always wanted to share some thoughts I had!

Fun fact: I had a wonderful person ask if she would be able to play Rosie Cotton back in 2013, and I asked her to perform her lines. She was great, but I realized a very strange thing: when I put her in the audio mix, it would actually break the immersion, because you can hear a voice that wasn’t mine, and as a result - I couldn’t help but keep thinking - my voice for Rosie’s mother sounded like a Monty Python skit in comparison! And thus her lines had to be unused. It kind of just opened the fourth wall, breaking the illusion. Which is a shame, because I always dream of having a fully-cast LOTR Audiobook, maybe someday officially.

The other favorite is “The Tower of Cirith Ungol” just because I listened to it one day in 2014, and heard no errors. I was so proud. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to change substantially. No one dislikes all the errors more than I do!

14. What’s your best memory from this entire project?

My late dad drove me and my brother out into a clearing at midnight in the forest. The sky was so clear and starry. And we were here simply to just yell at the top of our lungs to record material for “Helm’s Deep”. All the clear yells: “Elendil!!!” “Gúthwinë! Gúthwinë For the Mark!”etc. Etc. - I lost my voice, it was a fun time. He held the microphone for me as I splashed around a stream (for Gollum), once again at midnight since there were fewer background sounds.

I also tell this story a lot: A friend of mine who was listening to the chapters as I finished them - she hated the sound of knuckles cracking. And hated spiders. So, obviously, Shelob would have to have knuckle-cracking sounds for her limbs. So I recorded my own knuckles cracking and tried using it as much as I could for Shelob’s legs moving about. My friend was soooo ecstatic to know this fact.

15. If you could do it all again today, what would you change?

I would consider doing a ground-up re-recording of everything. With a budget, with a cast, with a lot more understanding of the story and intentions behind them. With VR sound options. With extra original music. That’s the dream.

If we’re back to reality, I guess I’d just re-record a bunch of chapters since they could always be better, and tighten all the technical errors. But that would require a lot of assembling of the raw archived files, and re-building of sounds, and re-recording of lines. Also, as I stated before, I do not want to distribute my unofficial fan work just because I know that it’s a copyright nightmare. And burnout… “it’s never really healed, Sam.”

I like taking other people’s opinions to heart, such as the issues with Frodo’s youth or inflections and intonations for certain scenes that I didn’t quite fully grasp the first time. I would love to adjust things and make it closer to the book now.

- - - - -

And now! The Silly Questions Lightning Round!

(With thoughts from Lady Glasses in parentheses and italics!)

1. In Fellowship, long stretches of dialogue would often have someone randomly cough in the background. Tell me about the Cough. Why is the Cough there?

No one hates the coughs more than me. That’s either my brother minding his own business in the other end of our ‘office room’. I think you now know I was 21, I didn’t care, so these things are just left in because I was careless. However, sometimes there are intentional coughs to make it feel more realistic. It’s been years since I listened to it, so unless I somehow do a massive commentary stream someday (thinking about it), your guess will be as good as mine! The coughs heavily subsided once I did Two Towers, since I was by myself.

2. During the dinner scene with Farmer Cotton, someone burps. Who was that?

Mine. I have no regrets with that one. Or Pippin. I guess it could be Pippin.

(Darn! And here I thought it was Farmer Cotton, LOL)

3. How did you manage to make Bill Ferny’s voice so perfectly obnoxious?

I imagined Bill as an obnoxious guy. The image in my head gives me a good idea of what he’d sound like, and I’m so glad he’s so obnoxious that you had to mention it.

(He sounds perfectly punchable. Thanks, I hate it.)

4. Did you crack yourself up at any point in the recording?

Oh yes, in fact I have a whole outtake reel just for you!

(Warning to anyone who clicks the link: the April Fool's audio had me ON THE FLOOR)

5. Voice acting aside, who is your favorite character in LotR and why?

If you asked me in 2002 it would be the Balrog, if you asked me now it would be difficult because so many of them mean so much to me, and each of their aspects have something to aspire to. Gandalf, Aragorn, Sam, Frodo, Galadriel, the list goes on and on.

(That's beautiful, and so true. The story really grows with us, doesn't it?)

6. What’s your favorite color?

Blue. Always has been.

(Blue is a good color! 💙)

7. Political question: Pineapples on pizza, yes or no?

Yes, I still don’t get what the fuss is about

(Oooh, controversial)

8. Is a hotdog a sandwich?

No, it’s a hotdog!

(Counterpoint: A hotdog is a taco.)

9. What’s your opinion on geese?

They’re racist

(Racist against the entire human race, apparently)

10. How much would I have to pay you to say “I love boats!” in Merry’s voice? (It’s an inside joke with my friends.)

Nothing, it’s on the house!

(HOLY CRAP I LOVE YOU)

- - - - -

Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us! What are you working on nowadays?

I’ve actually had a few people ask me if I’ll ever do more audiobooks like this, and I seem to have tapped something. Yes, in fact! I’m working with a few creative collaborators on a small company to do the exact same sonic experience with other books! Since we’re very small, we are starting with stories in the Public Domain, and have successfully kickstarted (and finished) “The Jungle Book” by Rudyard Kipling. Which will be out (hopefully, officially) by early September! I’m really excited and hope this will lead to more projects, and - hopefully- back to Tolkien someday, in an official manner. Please follow my Instagram or Facebook for more info about it. (I also have a Twitter and Tumblr and more, but they’re all completely unrelated to LOTR and are just me drawing doodles and being a nerd, very unlike the Audiobooks I did, which is a bit confusing, I admit.)

- - - - -

And that concludes our interview! As I told Phil, it was so much fun to discuss a fellow fan's passion project like this. The more I read about it, the more I realized just how similar it was to my own experiences as a fan creator. We all start out as just a noob with a few unpolished skills, making something because we love it, and we learn and grow and hone our talents along the way. It's legitimately inspiring.

Needless to say, I am stoked to finish listening to the rest of this audiobook! Is it a bit weird knowing the creator of the thing might drop in and read my reviews?? Yes. Yes it is. But I'm gonna do it anyway. No holds barred! If I hear another cough, you're gonna know about it, Phil!

Also I may or may not do something with that audio of Merry because I'M STILL DYING OF LAUGHTER HELP

Anyway! If you made it to the end of this, you deserve a cookie! Everybody say thank you to Mr. Dragash, and go check out the other stuff he's doing nowadays! Namárië!

#phil dragash #audiobook #lotr audiobook #interview #CATCH ME SCREAMING ABOUT THIS FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS

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agentgrange · 1 month ago

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Hey, I know the core Delta Green team’s politics aren’t all great, but I feel like the take that the take that their work is pro surveillance state is pretty uncharitable. I feel like a core theme of the modern setting is that the horrible actions of agents defending against the unnatural aren’t justified, and you can pretty easily draw that over to real world actions of our government “protecting” us from criminals and terrorists not being worth the human cost of the war on drugs and the war on terror.

I'm definitely a lot more cynical toward ArcDream for a few perhaps overly-specific reasons, and I've struggled to find a way to concisely articulate this vibe I've had about it. I think I'd like to do a more detailed breakdown /retrospective series on the more recent campaign and scenario guide to really get into the weeds of it.

The short of it is that you aren't wrong, but I think a lot of modern Delta Green's issues with the security state comes from this uniquely American idea of being "apolitically anti-authoritarian, anti-big government." It never makes the leap to being anti-imperialist or understanding how all these post-9/11 systems were just the mechanisms of global intervention and counter-insurgency turning inward. Having high speed low drag operators from the Program salting the Hindu Kush canoeing the Kandahar Giant in between skirmishes with the Taliban is badass, but spying on Americans or having those same teams operate domestically is bad. There are things that we do over there that we shouldn't be doing to American citizens over here.

Add to that the fact that the differences between the Outlaws and the Program, which could be fertile ground for saying something interesting, mostly comes down to "do want to play the old way like the 90s version where you have a shoestring budget or do you want to be a kitted out marauder with close air support?" It feels like there's an ideological contradiction at the heart of Delta Green that should imply nuance, but when you go looking for it you'll be hard pressed to find much substance-- hell at times it goes out of its way to distance itself from any idea of a real political conspiracy. Its a game about government conspiracies, that seems embarrassed to talk about government conspiracies. They just want to use it as an aesthetic backdrop to tell a story set in the mythos where you can blow up a Shoggoth with an AT4

Look, I don't need every piece of media to conform uniquely to my personal politics for me to enjoy it. But for me Fall of Delta Green feels like it walked away with all the more interesting ideas that made the original 90s game compelling, and demonstrates a more clear picture than modern DGs amorphous "spying is bad but so are terrorists and political extremists are also bad. The system is flawed but also you have to work within the system to save the world." Fall of Delta Green revolves around this central idea of "yeah you are a piece of shit, and all this shit catches up to you in 1970. But for 10 years you can do whatever you think you can get away with so don't even bother taking your foot off the gas." It tells you, very explicitly, how the story ends and what all this interventionism is heading towards before you even start the game. Add to that Fall of Delta Green's Grant-Morrison-esque off the rails worldbuilding about syndemes that's not afraid to get really high concept and... I don't know. I just prefer it more, personally.

#delta green #field scribbles

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circledotdestroy · 7 months ago

Text

Retrospective - Chapter 4: Professional Conversations

Pairing: Shouta Aizawa x F! Pro-Hero! Reader (the slowest burn) Main summary: After 12 years, you, Pro-Hero Strife, has to return to Japan. Your objective: discreetly track down and capture Akari Kaneko, a.k.a. Pro-Hero Aegis— your old classmate who attacked you during her visit in America. In the aftermath of All Might losing his power, however, using UA resources has its complications. The most unexpected complication being Aizawa, someone you never expected to see again. Why does your past have to come back to haunt you now? Masterlist First Chapter Last Chapter Word Count: 5,708

A/N: So Aizawa decided to comeback finally the other day... How are we feeling? Anyway, I hope this helps the manga readers. (I'm so sorry it's been over a month, life decided to throw me at the wall a few times. Because I've been struggling with posting chapters as often as I want to, I've decided after this one I will be cutting down the size. I hope it works out for the best, but that means there will be a larger number of chapters. I hope those of you that read my story don't care too much) (Also where the hell is Mic???)

For the rest of the meeting you stood breathless. Heart gushing blood through your ears. The words of your proposal dissolved as everything after cemented arrangements flowed into nothingness. You smiled, nodded, and told your new boss you understood his terms as his words reached your ears. Yet you grasped at nothing.

Nezu left the room satisfied. Said something about signing and a new ID. On his way out he wished you the best working for Eraser’s class. You did well, you think.

When Nezu was gone, heavy thunking and a giant shadow from the corner of your eye irritated you out of your trance. It was Mic, jiggling the briefcase by the handle. Your laptop was still in there! Slightly annoyed, you swiped at the handle to snatch it back. Mic pulled it away before you could, saying something about how he knows you can grab it, and to “try harder”.

You rolled your eyes in a huff, though now wasn’t a good time to break character. Right? You looked around the bright room and almost everyone was gone. The clock on the wall ticked away as you tried to place when everyone left on a timeline. Nemuri waved on her way out, All Might gave you a thumbs up. This was maybe five to seven minutes after you volunteered your time thoughtlessly. When the vote was over, the only people who needed to be in the room was you, Nezu, and—

You turned to the right of Mic’s chair. Eraser finished gathering his folders from his table. Nezu left the details of your position to him. There were many questions you had about being an advisor, but the main one was ‘what does Eraser have in mind?’ Eraser went around the table. Before you finished thinking you’d need to stop him to clarify your new temp job, he joined you and Mic in the center of the room.

In typical fashion, Mic caught on and spoke up before you thought of how to open. “You’re working with Strife then, Eraser? You excited?”

Eraser huffed, ignoring his question. Whether he regretted agreeing to the arrangement already, or he was annoyed Mic brought it up, you weren’t sure. So much for fostering a good professional relationship. You understood though. Just because something is objectively better, like having someone help you prepare twenty kids for a grueling exam, doesn’t mean it’s what you wanted. “I need to talk to Strife. Alone.”

Mic’s grin left his face as he looked at you then back at Eraser then back at you. “Alright,” his smile came back as he shrugged. Mic flipped your briefcase over his shoulder and walked toward the door, leaving you with the friend-of-a-friend. “Try not to keep her too long!” Eraser watched Mic leave the room. In the silence, the conversation you had earlier came to your mind again. Now that you owe him, thinking of how you stormed off earlier made you want to ask Mic to stay. Not out of fear, but because he’d make this interaction less uncomfortable.

But it was too late when the door shut.

You and Eraser. Alone. In a bright, empty room. There’s no need for played up charisma—not when he was past it all and knew you were full of it. Eraser, unexpectedly, held out the folders to you. Grabbing the small stack cautiously with both hands, you thought back to your earlier theory about the folders holding information meant to cast you out. If that was the case then he wouldn’t give you these now. Not when he can hold the folders as leverage for later. Eraser didn’t say a word until you flipped open the first folder, on the top there was a school photo of a boy with red hair. “My class starts training today in Gamma at 9:30.” Toward the middle there was another picture of him in the UA gym uniform. One of his arms was rigid like the side of a cliff, while the other looked normal. “Those contain the information of a few students in my class, I’ll give you more later. I want them to work on creating Ultimate Moves for the exams.”

That’s it?

Eraser could’ve done that without you. Why would he agree to the deal, if the training was independent work?

Your finger traced the paper up to the lines next to the headshot of the boy. The first line should be his name. Squinting at the page, your eyes bounced across the paper. The page was incomprehensible, a salad of lines and squares. You closed the folder and looked at the gray capture weapon again, it was easier to see what actions he’d take if you looked around his shoulders. “It’d be best if I observe the students before I read the files.”

Eraser shifted his weight to one leg, causing a shift where his weapon overlapped. “Any reason why?” His weapon was too clean for it to be used frequently. Maybe he got it replaced recently? Yet again, with everything you heard about the school, his students fighting off villains without licenses… it’d make sense if he was sidelined from doing hero work if his teaching his class was a handful.

“I want to judge them myself,” you answered, mirroring his stance. You lowered the folders in front of your body. Eraser made no moves to take them from you. “Judges don’t read about people taking the test before the exam. It’s like how students don’t meet judges grading the exam. It plays into…” you tried to find the right word. An equivalent to “impressions”, but drawn blank. You raised a gloved hand to pick the word out of the air. Eraser just leaned back with a vacant stare making it harder to concentrate. You closed your eyes and sighed as you settled on “-first sight, if you understand.”

When you opened your eyes, Eraser gave no input of his own. He stared blankly, with nothing to suggest he knew what you meant.

Language switching wouldn’t be acceptable with him like it would be with Hizashi. If you were supposed to give advice to students, then you’d need to communicate clearly. How often would you have to play Word Find in front of teenagers? If you wanted to stay here long enough to locate Akari—hell, if you wanted to investigate in Japan, you needed to get your act together. And quick. “It would also help if they are focused on their training, not a stranger in the room.” While you figure out the mechanics of their quirks, you can have some time to think about and practice what you’ll say. It’ll be just like the first year.

“My students won’t get distracted,” Eraser crossed his arms, with an edge in his voice. Defensive? “But fine. It’s logical enough. We’ll still meet at Gamma and set something up for you to get the information needed, but the class still has to meet you today. There’s only 10 days of training, no time should be wasted.”

Fair enough. If they’re training ultimate moves, you only need a little time to get the gist of their quirks for day one. Details can come later. It should give you enough time for a language refresher. “Anything else?”

Glancing at the ground, his boots pointed toward the door. Unlike his weapon, those were scuffed and broken in. The man is as ready to leave as you are. “We have everything covered. For now. We can talk more after you observe the class. We’ll discuss more when the time comes. For now, we’re building their strengths and hammering out weak points.”

The conversation ended and he finished, about to walk out the door. Footsteps thudded against the hard floor as he made his exit. You thought you were ready to see him leave, but “Wait—!”

Eraser paused.

The hand raised toward him recoiled into a loose fist. You put it away before he turned back. When he did, your eyes trailed to his boots again. “The way I walked out…” They were pointed toward you, and not the door. Good to know you had his full attention this time around. He hummed, that type of thing would be hard to forget in less than a few hours. You tried to find the rest of your sentence and got stuck at a fork in the road.

Were you supposed to say an apology you didn’t mean?

You weren’t sorry about why you left. In fact, business and gratitude aside, you were still mad at him. Not that it matters. “I didn’t act my best,” you said, looking up from the ground. What you feel now— it means nothing.

The man blinked slowly then glanced off to the side closest to the door. Bored already… Him listening to what you had to say was only professional courtesy.

“I didn’t act my best. You’re giving me this opportunity to let me complete my mission faster, and you don’t have to.” You were going to work with him. You’ll help his class. All of them will get their license. In return, you’ll get the answers you need. When all is said and done, Eraser won’t ever see the Pro-Hero Strife again. “Thank you, Eraser.” Words fell out smooth as sand on your tongue, but you can look at his face again.

Eraser rubbed the back of his neck, dodging your gaze by glancing at the ceiling. “If you judged licensing exams before then you’re an asset. Letting you investigate here is a rational trade, I’d be an idiot to vote against it,” he explained listlessly, meeting your eyes toward the end.

You nodded. “Of course…” After a hectic few hours, this was how your conflict ended. All personal grudges all under the bridge… Just like that.

Because you two are adults. Two adults with jobs to do– professionals.

You walked past the other hero, your short-term coworker, explained how you didn’t want to keep Mic waiting. He understood, told you he’d have more information ready later. Both of you went into the hallway. Mic was trying really hard to make it look like he wasn’t listening in. Mic tried dodging the suspicion by bringing up food. Fortunately for him, with the way you’ve been using your power– on top of the healing quirk, you needed calories. Enough to fill a black hole with the way your stomach squeezed. Eraser didn’t have the same worries as you. In seconds, he was long in the opposite direction and you were fine.

Mic led you around campus talking about Lunchrush, another member of UA’s immortality club. With your past experience in the kitchen, a new respect toward the man has grown. He was in charge of preparing enough food for hundreds of people. Showing up unannounced for food felt like an invasion. Lunchrush would have little use for American currency. You really should stop at the bank to make an exchange soon. When you arrived at the cafeteria Mic gave your briefcase back, told you to wait while he worked his “magic”. He strolled backward into the kitchen door, finger guns blazing, to the orchestra of scraping metal. Not long after he came out of the kitchen holding two trays. One with a giant bowl and another with four smaller ones on them. You went to help him but he pointed his chin to a nearby table for you to sit. You hurried to the table, pulling one chair out for Mic then going around to the chair closest to the wall for you to sit.

“Lunchrush thought the request was weird for this time of day, but I figured it’d be closer to dinner for you.” Mic put the tray with smaller dishes on his side of the table. Savory steam floated from his food. His tray had savory broth and spring onion with either soft tofu or an onsen egg (it was hard to tell from your angle), plain rice, the fluffiest rolled omelet, and a strip of tender salmon. It was a feast for the eyes and you can almost taste it on your tongue.

You looked at Hizashi before you drooled over the table like a rabid animal. From your angle, it seemed as if there were no side dishes on the tray he was still carrying. His buckling elbow told you the bowl was heavy. “I tried to get your favorite, but you usually brought your own thing when you finally learned to cook for yourself.” He went to place your food on the table. When you reached to grab the tray, Mic pulled it away. You raised your eyebrow at him. The joke would’ve been more funny if your stomach wasn’t clawing inward to digest itself. Hizashi held the tray closer to you, but pulled it away when you tried grabbing it again.

“Excuse me?”

You expected him to laugh in your face then give you your meal, but his expression hadn’t changed from the slightly amused smile from earlier. The tray floated further from your reach as the man before you held the tray high like he was the cover model posing for Waiter’s Weekly. Hizashi looked down, his pose statue-esque. “You never said anything about Kaneko visiting you.”

You put your hands under the table. Once shielded under the table, your fingers interlaced firmly. “I didn’t mean to make you look bad, I’m sorry.” You really were, you’d apologize even if the beloved sustenance was in your grasp. Peering up again, the statue pose relaxed, but Hizashi made no moves to hand you the tray. “The case has been a lot, I guess,” you couldn’t truthfully tell him you forgot to say anything.

“Right—it just slipped your mind.” Mic teased with lasers scanning across your body. You stopped leaning over the table and forced yourself to sit straight. The wound became slightly itchy– a small price to pay. Was he going to ask about you calling him? “I’m gonna keep it real, you’ve been forgetting about a lot of things.”

“I’m not the only one,” you thought, focus gliding to empty tables toward your right until you heard a sigh.

“You’re talking about Aizawa?” The plastic tray thudded on the table. A treacherous scrap made you wince when Hizashi pulled his chair further out to join you at the table. “I wasn’t trying to blindside you either.”

Steam curled into the air from the large bowl creating a veil between the two of you. Your fingers laced tighter, expecting Hizashi to say something else. Unless it was your turn to speak. You acknowledge his statement with a small nod. You moved your tray closer to your end of the table, hot vapor hit your face. You looked into the bowl. Hizashi got you a bowl of udon. The noodles were abundant with just enough rich broth, and it was topped with a crazy amount of vegetables and protein—the perfect thing for your current situation. In spite of your hunger, a lump formed in your throat. Most udon wasn’t supposed to include all these toppings, there was only one restaurant you remember including this much food without having to add on. Hizashi wasn’t playing around with what he said earlier.

“What are we waiting for,” Hizashi asked, breaking the tension. “Let’s eat!”

The two of you dug into your meals. As experience taught you, eating good food really does help move pain along. When you get the opportunity to combine the nutrients with sleep, you should feel a whole lot better the next time you wake up.

“How do you feel,” asked Hizashi.

You hummed with a slight jerk, worried he remembered your end of the call from days ago. When you processed the teasing edge to his voice, you relaxed.

“Mentor Strife coming out of retirement, didn’t think I’d live to see the day.” Mic had a cocky smile. “And after you told me you couldn’t multitask—”

“Not multitasking.” While you didn’t plan for this to be the mission, the mission is what the mission becomes. In this case the mission is finding Akari and helping Eraser’s students pass their test. The latter is secondary, but you know better than to walk around owing people. “I’m not mentoring students.” The students don’t need one–they already have teachers. “I’m helping them pass a test. That’s it.”

Mic pouted mockingly toward you and you mirrored him briefly before drinking some broth. “Not gonna stay to celebrate after? That’s cold,” Mic shook his head, pointing his chopsticks at you lightheartedly.

“By the time of the exam, there shouldn’t be a reason why I’m still at school. I need to finish work here before the hotel bill gets expensive. I want to go back to work soon.”

“Stay at the dorms then! We have all the room in the world. Unless…” Mic trails off, and you already know where this is going. “Personal feelings getting in the way of your job?”

You drop your spoon into the bowl tight-lipped. “I like my space,” you smiled.

“Space from who exactly?”

“Children,” you showed your teeth, hoping he’d get the hint.

Mic put his hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying! You don’t know who’s working at a hotel. Plus there’s more guests day in and day out than a rock festival. If someone knows what they’re doing, they can find what room you’re in. Swipe a keycard and mess with your stuff.”

“You think Akari would do that,” you asked.

“Were we looking at the right scene earlier?” You leaned back and clutched your nonexistent pearls at his sudden outburst. Mic shook his head, “what i’m trying to say is: If Kaneko finds out where you are, it’d be a huge blow to your plan. If you don’t want to stay at the dorms because of your gross personal feelings–” Mic gagged, rolling his eyes back dramatically. Which, admittedly, got a smile out of you. “Then you could stay at my place– it’s not like I’m using it.”

“No way.” You shook your head. “I don’t know what you have there!”

“My apartment’s clean! Cleaner than yours ever was– I remember your–” Mic said a term you didn’t know the meaning of followed by “Disgusting!”

“I wasn’t talking about those.”

“Because you can’t,” Mic interrupted.

You put a finger in the air, “I’m staying at the hotel. The hotel is close to the train station and I’ll have to travel around for the case anyway. If it makes you feel better, I’ll leave my research here.”

“And if Kaneko finds you?”

You leaned back from Hizashi, you grabbed your chopsticks and chose a random topping floating in the broth. Tilting your head, you pondered his question and thought about what the right answer should be. If Akari were standing in front of you, in your hotel room, after everything she did. Looking back up at Mic, you shrugged. “Let her.”

When the meal was done, you and Mic had to go your separate ways for the morning. He had no problem giving you a refresher on gamma’s location, despite your constant reassurances for him not to. As predicted, the directions confused you into taking longer to leave the building. A good general idea based on your memory, turned into a jumble of lefts and rights. Spotting for “this” symbol over “that” one. Somehow to the gym before Eraser and his class. No one was heading out of the school from where you can, either. Trying your luck you pushed the door open, leading to a hallway that seemed to be in an ‘L’ shape. Exploring further, you spotted the double doors leading inside the gym. These doors were locked, however.

You leaned on the door, not understanding why the class wouldn’t arrive earlier. Didn’t the staff want the first years to get their license as soon as possible? When the time came around for you, you’d rush to one of the training areas whenever you could. The ticking clock on the wall counted the seconds of your growing impatience. It made it hard to focus on your own thoughts. The off white tiles on the floor stretched out into a blurred vision of mind numbing boredom, then there was an aggressive prodding.

You slid to the floor– no one was near the building. The small hide away surrounding the entrance would be fantastic for cover if villains ever got into the school. The hall was nice and flat too. You could throw a baseball at a good angle, have it bounce off the wall and knock someone out like that one ti— you needed something productive. Taking your phone out of your case, you checked the notifications. Nothing. Then you looked at your laptop. No one was coming yet, you had another twenty minutes, why not check that too?

Pulling out the laptop, muscle memory took over. It came to a halt when the page wouldn’t load, no connection to the wifi it said. Checking the schools network, you were surprised to know Nezu never changed the password. Refreshing the page, you finally got into your account. The usual night crew should start their shift now. You moved the cursor to your workload and smiled seeing a red circle on your inbox link. When you clicked it you were happy to see you got a message from Gold Rush, the coworker who volunteered to work on the home-side of the case while you were away. Clicking on the message icon, you hoped he could tell you about what he found while you were in the infirmary.

Unfortunately, he just messaged you to say he just clocked in and wanted to see if you landed ok. It wasn’t what you wanted to read, you sighed, but replied about your progress. He put a thumbs up on the message. From there you had to strain your eyes to read the next block of text. Gold planned to take another look around your neighborhood, ask around to see if anyone saw Akari going into the building before your apartment was demolished— check out the damage again, if you were “okay” with it. When it’s over, he’ll send his notes on the last few days before his shift ends.

Pressing your lips together, you typed “thank you” then stuffed the laptop in your briefcase. Everything should be fine. Gold was the one who found the postcard Akari left when you were out. You worked with him at the agency for years at this point. He pulled his weight and kept up with you fine. He can hold down what little fort is left, while you’re here. Helping hero trainees.

You closed your eyes, already exhausted at the prospect of standing up again, but you pushed against the floor. Hold onto the wall. Seethe at some sharp pain in your side for a half-second.

See. Everything will be fine.

How could it not be?

You stretched your arms out and then walked in circles. After a minute or two, the pain didn’t hurt as bad. Maybe calories were all you needed.

Then there was a faint buzzing down your spine. No echoes in the halls. Just a ticking clock and your beating heart.

A jolt.

It must be a group outside. Eraserhead and his class finally showed– no doubt about it. You went for your briefcase, not taking your eyes off the hallway. When muffled voices reached your ears, you were perfectly in the center holding the case at your side. There was another jolt, then a surge hit you full swing. The pain was gone and you felt alive.

What a lively—and/or terrified— group! You forgot how strong teenagers felt about things. Yet again, the last you were around this many of them was when you were a teenager who felt just as strong. If they were told about the exam prior, they’re either rushing to get the ball rolling or having their heart explode over the deadline.

Turning the corner, the sea of students was technicolor. And louder than you prepped for. You took it all in. First impressions are integral to how citizens, and therefore judges, view a hero. What were you working with?

The boy with glasses looked like a knight with tubes coming out of his legs– a speed quirk probably? You could see civilians going to him to get them somewhere safe. If he was as strong as he looked, he could pack a punch on larger villains on the way out.

Two students reminded you of Present Mic when he was a teenager. Both of them, a boy and a girl wearing jackets that made them look like little rockstars! The boy had an electricity motif going on, so anybody can roughly guess what his power is—and the girl was wearing boots! And they had speakers? She must have a sound quirk like Mic, fantastic! If they play their cards right, they’ll never go broke.

While you can guess the quirk of those three, many students’ quirks were up in the air. One boy, with a nasty scar over his eye, wore a plain, navy blue jumpsuit. Another boy wore one with black, white, and a bit of yellow–who also had a mutation affecting his elbows, but you couldn’t guess what his quirk would be. At least he was stylish.

When it came to the girls' uniforms you were disappointed. The designers were STILL giving trainees heels! How are they supposed to run top speed in busted terrain? Unbelievable!

Noticing the girls’ inadequate footwear opened the floodgates on the design flaws on the others. Lack of armor and padding on the boy with a giant tail and the girl with pink skin. Lack of support for the tallest girl wearing a unitard exposing her vital organs. She could be like Midnight and need skin exposure, but you doubt the support company has never seen a sports bra before. The worst sin you bore witness to is a short, purple kid wearing a diaper—a self-respecting hero wouldn’t design that!

The students in front of the line stopped chatting among themselves. Some jumped at the sight of you. The rest of the class went quiet as they assessed you, this stranger, standing in the middle of their hallway where you don’t belong.

“I’m not a villain.”

No one laughed. The students’ expressions were vacant, they probably thought you were a dork. Your finger twitched as you thought of throwing your hand up and peacing out of there. Why did you volunteer for this position? You stood your ground and stared ahead. Judgemental teenagers won’t be the end of your resolve.

Eraser turned the corner, walking ahead of the silent crowd. “You showed up early.”

“I don’t show up late.”

Toward the end of the line of students Midnight waved at you as she stood with two other men. One looked like a cinder block-snowman, the other had a swanky trenchcoat and bared his teeth. You waved back at your friend, and a few students turned toward the back of the line. Eraser gestured to everyone, Midnight and the other two teachers included, to go inside the Gym. There’s something he had to take care of and he’ll be back in a minute, he said before giving the key to the boy with the knight outfit. The boy took the key with extreme duty, saying he was honored for the responsibility. Nice to know who the energetic one is.

Eraser handed you blue file folders, similar to the ones you put in your briefcase earlier then started walking ahead of you. He explained the folders had the quirks of the students you’re working with. He took you to another door he had to unlock. It was a sharp contrast to the bright hallways from before. Some cobwebs hung from the dim ceiling and the stair railing. This was the type of place a killer would drag a victim to hold them for a few days. When he turned the light switch on, it was still darker than the outside, but not the worst place you’ve been too.

Eraser approached the table against the wall holding a couple of computer monitors. He set up the tablet he tucked under his arm to the primary computer, explaining how to flip through the cameras. He said you can take notes on the tablet or in folders, but no matter what he’d need the tablet back. If you wanted anything to think over then you’d need to take notes manually, or bust out your own laptop.

“I know for the best results, you need time to study the students, but try to wrap it up in around the twenty minute mark,” he explained as he finished setting up. He rolled a chair from the right of the table for you to sit. After everything from earlier, it was hard to believe you both were being professional about this. He must really want his class to pass. “Time is short, and there’s a lot to see in-person too.”

You sat, swiveling the chair. “Got it. No loitering,” you tapped the screen experimentally and the camera shifted. Eraser didn’t react to the statement, but you knew better than to expect him too. You were just here for the job.

Eraser asked if you had anything you needed to know anything else. Scanning the room again, you settled on asking where the stairs led. Apparently, it was an observation room. He said you could watch the class up there with you and leave the equipment alone; but he knew for a fact why you wouldn’t.

You minded your manners and thanked him for setting up for you before he left for his class. You shook your head as the door shut, his class. Just as you said before, he may have been good with children, but Eraser being a teacher voluntarily was weird. Weirder being alone in a secret backroom.

The air brushed against your neck giving you chills. Where you sit, anyone can come behind you from either the stairs or the door if you weren’t mindful. You shifted the position of the chair’s seat toward the blank wall. With the stairwell’s rotation starting on your right and the table being under the “left” portion of the room, you should have better access to see everything that way.

Soon, Eraser entered Gamma. He talked to his class for a while. Safe to say, it was about the exam. Midnight stepped beside him, her finger pointing in the air, then Cinderblock did the same thing. It was a cult practice. After he spoke, he turned around and walked away from the group. The boy in the knight outfit was giving a reaction to the Smile Man. The man wasn’t opening his mouth though— were they having a psychic conversation? The knight was pleased by what the Smile Man told him. Other students were giving him weird looks, further proving the psychic theory.

Eraser spoke again and then the towers of rocks grew to the ceiling. Wait… You switch the camera view on one of the monitors and the structures reached 90% of the way to the ceiling. Back on the ground Smile Man threw up and more of himself formed, gross, but whatever gets the job done? The students were used to it at this point, because they were obviously hyped.

Starting now, you have twenty minutes to gather as much intel as possible. You clicked the screen to change the camera as fast as possible. The pink, moth girl worked with a substance oozing from her skin. A shorter boy, with a mutant quirk and a cloak, walked with Smile Man toward a farther corner of the gym to a cave structure. The boy with the tail started battling with a Smile Man and he was doing rather well. His combat skills were up-to-par, something undervalued considering not ALL villains are interested in leveling a city.

You switched the camera and nausea hit the back of your throat. The students were walking up the structures and there were no railings. OSHA would have a field day over these violations. Nausea hit you again when you remembered you’d have to join on said OSHA violations. If you didn’t know better, you’d think Eraser agreed to let you tutor his class to torment you. Like in the second you brought up the quid pro quo, he thought of the best way to make you quit and violate the agreement. Pushing the dread aside, you wrote as many notes on the students as you could before twenty minutes were over.

Fun fact: systems change all the time during American Licensing Exams. It’s part of the reason why first impressions matter so much. A good impression can add points, or prevent you from losing points in deduction-based systems. A bad impression will have the reverse effect, and frame everything someone does negatively. It’s easy to say only technical skills should matter, but you need to expect the people to have poor judgment if you want the students to succeed.

You looked at the time and saw you had four minutes before close. You rushed to finish your last thoughts on the student– the boy from the file earlier, so you can join everyone at the gym. You thought about what advice you should give to him. It was clear from how he hit he put a lot of thought into strength, but if he could work on his speed— You wrote it all down, but then you heard the most GRATING ring you can imagine coming from your side. You recoiled at the sound and saw the monitors were frozen. The tablet on your side blinded you with harsh, white light.

You squinted at the tablet, your head starting to hurt from the obnoxious, high pitch. You wanted it to stop. You shot from the chair, yanking the cords out of the device as it beeped at you for a password. On the screen, there was a crude image of two stick figures– an adult and a child.

Eraser put a parental lock on the tablet.

Taglist:

@lonelyghosts-stuff

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #mha x female reader #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa x you #retrospective by dot #aizawa x y/n #bnha aizawa

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riversimmone · 2 months ago

Text

Three's A Crowd - Chapter 9

RiverOfTheSand

Summary:

SasuSaku. He didn't mean to kill that man. He had simply reacted to being attacked. And now Konoha is forced to hunt down the rogue members of Team 7, or risk open war. Eventual NaruHina.

XXX

Read from the beginning. This is a work in progress story you can find on tumblr and AO3 and completed on FF.NET.

[All tumblr posts will be tagged ‘Three’s A Crowd’ with their corresponding chapter for quick and easy access.]

Enjoy. :)

Chapter Nine: Shared Silence.

Sometimes he felt like he was someone else, like another person was living his life for him. There was a darkness inside of him that he couldn't explain, that he couldn't excuse and that he couldn't control. The stench of his mistake permeated his senses for days after Sasuke Uchiha had killed the brother of the fire daimyo.

He'd awoken from a dream-like state only to realise that he hadn't been imagining things. And no matter how he'd felt at the time, or the excuses he'd told himself in those moments of bloodlust, he hadn't meant to kill the old man. He wanted to be better than that, having left Konoha not as an act of disloyalty, but to follow the faint lead that Orochimaru had left behind.

In retrospect, three Genin who had just lost their loved ones and were barely out of the academy weren't going to be able to take down the Sannin. But really, killing Orochimaru wasn't something they often talked about. The subject was raised so rarely that there had been no actual discussion on how they would do it. They had never entertained the idea that they would be a match for the snake. But Sasuke wouldn't stay in Konoha knowing that hunting down that monster wasn't even being considered. He couldn't walk the streets of Konoha, pretend it wasn't going to happen again, and never try to do anything about it.

The final straw in his decision had been partly overhearing the elders, but also discovering that Orochimaru had stolen Uchiha relics, not to mention the Uchiha clan (or what was left of it) was the main reason for his attack.

So he had to get stronger, he had to find the snake and kill him, even if it was the last thing he ever did. But Konoha was rebuilding too slowly and everyone was needed in the reconstruction efforts. It left him feeling useless, fidgety, and frustrated. These were never good combinations in him. He wasn't normally so rash or impatient, and the shift in his perspective, his realisation that staying in Konoha was just hampering his desire for revenge, was a great motivation to leave. He'd often wondered what would've happened if Sakura hadn't realised what he was about to do and insisted on coming with him. She was more brains than brawn back in the academy, but after their numerous training sessions together, he'd seen a kind of strength in her that no-one else had bothered to look for. It might've had something to do with why he'd eventually given in to her romantic advances.

And then there was Naruto. He understood the baka's desire not to be left out, but never got how he could turn his back on his dream to one day become Hokage. If he'd stayed in Konoha, he might've one day accomplished that. It was impossible now. That blonde idiot confused him to no end.

But now, with the sun setting and the dark undergrowth of surrounding woodland as his destination for the night, Sasuke didn't know what he wanted anymore. He didn't know if there was any point in this quest for revenge. They'd been on the road for six years, found out more about Orochimaru's movements than anyone else in Konoha, but were they strong enough? His Sharingan was powerful, but he worried it wouldn't be enough when the time came. What they needed was more power.

He glanced backward discreetly as the sounds of early evening insects filled the tense silence around him. Just like they had with the caravan, Sakura and Naruto were giving Sasuke a wide berth. She'd tried to approach the Uchiha but he wasn't responsive, making her worry even more for him. They needed to get to Kumo, get this mission over and done with, and then take some time off. Maybe even splurge on paying to occupy an entire bathhouse to themselves for awhile. They definitely needed something to soak away this stench around them.

Sakura remembered the first time Sasuke had killed unnecessarily – he'd gotten his Sharingan before they left Konoha, but the first time he'd used it after going rogue, he'd killed without thinking. The pinkette had had nightmares for weeks about those screams. Since then, he'd only let his bloodlust overwhelm his rational mind a few times, and it still terrified her, what his Sharingan was capable of. But this time, it hadn't been his kekkei genkai – he'd used the sword to kill the old man. Sakura had spent the last couple of days watching him silently, occasionally brushing his arm in a gentle, comforting way, with no response.

This was definitely different from the other times. Maybe he'd finally snapped…

So she cried herself to sleep, silently of course – she'd long given up on the weak Sakura who wore her heart on her sleeve. Naruto wasn't fairing any better, having seemingly lost his voice and didn't even try to approach Sasuke. He kept close to Sakura however, only moving away when a particularly nasty glare from Sasuke (glinted red) was directed at him. He just wanted to comfort the only person in Kitsúne that wasn't possessed.

Neither Sakura nor Sasuke knew about the Kyuubi… Naruto had used its chakra occasionally, but only when pushed to. He wanted to tell them, but every time the chance presented itself, fear clutched at his chest. After all, he wouldn't be surprised if they wanted nothing to do with him afterward. Orochimaru may have engineered the attack on the leaf that ruined their lives, but the hand that had been the coup de grâce had been a jinchuriki.

X X X

They looked more sombre than she'd have thought possible. Tsunade surveyed Team Guy in the wake of their mission report, her eyes lingering on Neji, who was the only one looking slightly furious. Someone powerful had fooled his Byakugan (even though it had only succeeded because Neji had never seen that genjutsu before) and the Hokage thought immediately of Sasuke Uchiha's Sharingan. She kept this to herself however, as it was still considered top secret – rumours abound about many rogue Shinobi but some facts were easier to piece together than others. There had been a string of people with memory loss in wave country six months ago, and in the land of wind several weeks before that.

Tsunade had long believed that genjutsu was more destructive than most ninjutsu as the mind was a delicate thing – far more difficult to heal than a normal injury. It was why she took it more seriously – after all, one of the most powerful clans to ever exist excelled in genjutsu.

'Well, they used to.'

She sighed. And if Sasuke Uchiha had something to do with what was going on, there wasn't much she could do about it, especially if he'd progressed with his Sharingan enough to affect the battleground in the way Neji had describe. Fortunately, even though they hadn't heard or seen from any of the former members of Team Seven for six years, their motivations had nothing to do with harming Konohagakure.

Shizune knocked on the Hokage's door, waited for the "enter" from Tsunade and then bowed. "I have Kakashi Hatake for you ma'am, as requested."

"Thank you Shizune."

Guy greeted his eternal rival jovially, re-sparking some of his normally upbeat disposition, and Kakashi just sighed deeply. He really wasn't in the mood for one of Guy's speeches, and tuned out as the spandex clad man started on about how his youth had betrayed him and having this eternal rival around was sure to bring it back. (Okay… so the tuning out hadn't actually worked this time – he was getting old after all.)

"Kakashi," Tsunade said. "Fetch Kurenai Yuhi's team. She's taking some time off so you'll be her replacement on squad eight."

'Why couldn't Shizune have just done that?' "Yes Lady Hokage," Kakashi shunshined out and Gai frowned.

"Are you sure it's wise sending out another team?" He asked.

"The perpetrators know our faces," Tenten said, her eyes on Neji however – he was watching and listening but not making any input.

"Yes, but they'll still stand out as Konoha ninja, so in the end, what does that matter?"

"Guy," Tsunade said, "you're not being left out. I have a separate mission for you. Just wait until Kakashi returns with the others," she added as he moved to interrupt.

Tenten kept her worried eyes on Neji the entire time, but it didn't take Kakashi long to track down Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame and Hinata Hyuuga. Tsunade stood up and moved in front of her desk, leaning back on it wearily. She was older than she looked of course, and right now, she was feeling it.

"Are we to move as two teams?" Lee asked, looking very excited about that possibility.

"No. I've sent a message to Kumo," Tsunade said, "and their informants have placed the rogues somewhere between the southern border to the land of frost and lightning country. While Team Kakashi–" (Kiba growled insolently at this title) "–goes ahead to scout out the area, I want Team Guy to stay in their shadow. You are to follow them and not make yourself known unless you encounter resistance."

"Lady Hokage?" Hinata asked, bowing slightly. "What about the rumours of Kitsúne being in the land of frost? Is this connected?"

Tsunade exchanged a worried look with Shizune. "Actually, you might encounter them. I've been putting together all the information we have of them and I think I've figured out who they are."

X X X

#sasusaku #sasuke x sakura #fanfiction #my ao3 #All images are not mine #MULTICHAPTERED FANFICTION #Three's A Crowd #Chapter 9

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thewertsearch · 2 years ago

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Asks Comp 13/4

I think he's behind that door. The platform bears his symbol, and it's his final chance to show up in-game.

The best theory I have is that Bilious Slick is the god of Sgrub, and he only appears to a party of Players who have truly proven themselves. Given that Sgrub's endgame involves the creation of a universe, his role probably relates to this in some way.

Maybe he's the one who grants the Players the 'seed' - or whatever else is mechanically required to alchemize a universe.

The thought has occurred to me, too! I've been skimming some old posts while writing asks, and a couple of things have stood out to me.

We still don't know who the pen pal is. I'm still convinced he has something to do with Grandpa Harley, and my best guess is that he's someone who contains Grandpa as an alchemical component.

The session monitor in Skaianet's lab has a new meaning now. Every single one of those sessions could spawn a universe. And it's been implied that every planet with intelligent life will eventually spawn Sburb sessions. If you do the maths, it's clear that each universe should spawn billions of sessions. Just how many 'children' does each universe produce?

Ooh, yes, let's think about the implications of all this on my 'sonas!

If we assume that the kidsona was on comic-canon Earth, then she's in the universe created by the Zodiac trolls. The universe that she and the trollsona could create could be a completely new one!

...that is, if they create a universe at all. There's nothing saying you have to use that grist on a universe, and they might have other plans...

I was actually thinking about Tinkers when I made that post!

I read Worm a couple of years ago. In retrospect, it would also have made pretty good liveblogging material, although probably not quite as good as Homestuck. There's some great stuff in Worm, but a lot of what I really like about it doesn't show up until close to the end.

I initially assumed that the Psychic Double Reacharound was a contingency plan that she'd prepared earlier, since she couldn't possibly have come up with something so elaborate in the heat of the moment, while bleeding out on the ground.

But then I remembered she came up with the Sollux/Mind Honey plan seemingly on the spot, and now I'm not so sure. God damn, Vriska.

This is genuinely super flattering. I hope the inconsistency isn't too much of an issue - and, yes, I note the irony of saying this immediately after a four-month hiatus!

If was clear from early on that things in Homestuck weren't always what they seemed. Hell, sometimes they're not even what we're shown.

We have to assume some of what we're being told is true, or else we wouldn't have a story - but we always have to remember who's telling the story.

[Lol I love this fic. lots of **GIANT** spoilers tho, just because of the nature of the fic. For example, big ones starting at 16, 55 and 57 - C]

Recommended, and does apparently contain spoilers - but this is one I'm particularly looking forward to.

It's kind of a funny question, isn't it?

From Davesprite's perspective, he did change the future - his future. John died, but he 'changed things' - and now John's alive, even though he was dead 'before'.

But if you zoom out a little, you can see that this change was predetermined by the Alpha Timeline, which always depended on these events. Davesprite changed the first-order future - but the meta-future was always set in stone.

The Medium's timeline is so weird, isn't it? Its retroactive existence is difficult to puzzle out.

I don't think you could see the history of your Land by travelling back before you entered. All physical evidence of that history is there, but it's generated in a single instance when you Enter, and can't be accessed. It's analogous to read-only-memory.

After all, John, Rose and Dave are in the past with respect to LOJADE, but they're never going to see its 'history' - and Jade's Entry isn't going to insert it into the Medium retroactively. It won't have been 'there all along' when John was flying around earlier on his jetpack - it'll only ever have been there from Jade's Entry onwards.

As for getting into Earth's past, I think Karkat had it right, when he described the kids' original universe as 'a set of points to choose from'. You can't get into Earth's past by time-travelling around the Medium, but that doesn't really matter, since you can open portals into any point in its history, as long as you have the gear.

They're fascinating questions, aren't they?

Pre-Exile, she was the Tradition Wrangler - a Prospitian lawyer who struggled to interpret the Medium's archaic laws!

DD is a man of action, and I'm sure he approves of any Player who acts decisively themselves.

Plus, I'm sure he can emphasize with Aradia's situation. After all, it sucks to be bossed around by someone whose motivations make no goddamn sense half the time.

Common Terezi W.

True - she didn't need to hold her there for long. The laser pointer thing is a better analogy, blinding her almost instantly. I don't think it's any less fucked-up - it's more like a different flavor of fucked-up.

That's a pretty impressive robotics feat for Equius, actually. I wonder what Aradiabot is actually made of?

Tracing the source of alchemy gear is one of my favorite Homestuck 'minigames'.

Hivebent's art is fantastic! I really see why the comic blew up around this time. It's really coming into its own, stylistically. Of particular note is the art of Make Her Pay, and the art accompanying Aradia's final monologue. I can't wait to see more!

Gamzee is just too high to be rendered in a less symbolic manner.

Sollux is broken, and probably another mutant. The Sgrub trolls don't seem surprised by his level of power - but considering their circle includes other absurd espers like Aradia and Vriska, they probably aren't the best people to ask about what's normal.

Damn, I wish we could have seen more of Alternia. I know some of the spin-offs dig into this, but I hope we get more in canon, too.

Terezi's dream self is blind, because that's the version of herself she identifies most with. There's very little doubt in my mind that your dream self would reflect your self-perception in other ways, too. Skaia is clearly an ally - thank you, king.

You could imagine a Player whose dream self changes after they realize - or conversely, a Player whose dream self cracked their eggy loking thign. I'd be surprised if there weren't many fanfictions where this is a plot point - and depending on how things shake out in the comic itself, I'm not ruling it out.

In asking about magic, Kanaya really does start to sound like the young child that she is. It's easy to forget, but heartbreaking when you remember.

A few people have talked about this, so I added all of my 'immediate reaction' posts to the liveblog tag! I think it got them all - other than LOLCAT, which I missed and will add now - but if there are others, let me know!

I guess Matespritship isn't explicitly described in terms of romantic love. It's described as a close analogue of human romance, which is 'rooted in strongly positive emotions'. I've been assuming, based on that, that Red Romance is effectively interchangeable with the human concept of romantic love - but I suppose that's not necessarily the case.

I do think you're hitting on a very good point, here, too, which is that the quadrant system itself is described as something that trolls need. I think the 'need' for these categories is enforced, artificially, for the benefit of the Empire. It wouldn't be the first institution to pull something like this.

Either way, it'll be interesting to see how the troll/human ships end up shaking out. It's going to be a challenge to merge their respective relationship frameworks. The best solution, of course, is for them to experience their own relationships without any cultural baggage, but I don't think I'm just speaking for myself when I say that that's easier said than done!

#asks #full liveblog #act 5

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nostalgicamerica · 2 years ago

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True Story:

Throughout my life I have had many obsessions; fishing, the blonde I sat behind in high school biology, to have my own dog (Not just a 'family' dog), the redhead three doors down from our house, hockey, the brunette who would later become my wife, and a number of other things.

But when I was 10 years old I – like every other boy I knew – had a burning desire that made all other obsessions pale in comparison. My singular desire was to have to have a BB gun. I didn't care what kind, although for some reason I loved the look of the Daisy Model 30-30. Maybe it was because of all the Rawhide Kid, Kid Colt; Outlaw, or Cheyenne Kid comic books I consumed whilst hiding from my mother and her infernal chore list.

I wonder in retrospect if my mother believed that if a comic had 'Kid' in the title it couldn't possibly lead her flock astray, but I digress.

As far as BB guns go, I really didn't care what make or model. I just knew I had to have one. I dreamed about fighting off coyotes, black bear, and local bullies. The only requirement was that it be able to shoot a copper-clad projectile at a high rate of speed. Most of my friends already had their obsessions satisfied and it was a source of constant sorrow that I was BB gun-less.

My desire for a BB gun also filled me with a feeling of guilt because my parents ensured I had everything I needed and fulfilled many of my wants. My mother was never shy about providing me books, new or used, and Dad bought me all the fishing gear and hockey equipment I ever needed.

But Ivanhoe and shin pads couldn't fill the hole in my life left by something I had never possessed in the first place.

Any BB gun would have filled the hole.

One close friend, Skunk (don't ask), had the Holy Grail of the BB gun world – a Crosman pump rifle. This particular rifle was carried around town with much-deserved pride (oh, how I hated Skunk when he toted that gun around). I personally witnessed the sleek weapon puncture the side of a tomato juice can. I know it doesn't sound like much today, but back then, tomato juice cans were manufactured by the Ohio Boilermaker Company, made of 10 gauge, zinc-lined, galvanized steel, and, empty, they weighed 23 pounds.

Another friend actually had a BB pistol but his folks took it away from him because he put out one too many window.

There was a smattering of other BB guns in town. Most boys, who were born to more BB gun-friendly parents toted around Daisys, but I recollect other makes like Powermaster, Benjamin, and, of course, Crosman.

Mom apparently wasn't too worried about my brother and I shooting our eyes out because the Christmas after my 11th birthday my brother and I were presented with matching Daisy 102 Model 36 Cubs. My initial jealousy that my brother got his first gun at 10 while I had had to wait until I was 11 abated after a few seconds when I remembered he was my partner in crime and a pretty good friend all the way around.

The jealousy was immediately replaced with an ugly feeling of ingratitude that made me feel guilty and I tried to shake it off before my dad could see it in my eyes.

Cubs!

Yes, they were guns. Yes, they would shoot a BB. Yes, if you squinted at them, the rifles did sort of look menacing. But they were still Cubs, of all things. To those ignorant of the BB gun world, allow me to explain that the Daisy Cub was the AMC Pacer of the gun hierarchy. It was akin to eating a fast-food burger that has been sitting too long under the warmer; it looked vaguely burger-like, it would fill up an empty stomach, but no matter how you looked at it, it was never going to be a thick, mouth-watering, flame-broiled burger fresh from the barbecue grill in the back yard, dripping with grease, and topped off with the freshest of toppings.

Given that Christmas unreasonably seems to always fall in the dead of winter every year, and at least 8 feet of snow covered everything as far south as Des Moines and would until at least April, we were resigned that the guns wouldn't see much action until the Detroit Tigers were in spring training, at a minimum.

Dad, with a head toward solving our dilemma, came through in fine fashion. He covered the windows in the attic with a heavy, BB-proof tarp, hung up paper targets on a length of rope at one end of the cramped space and created an indoor shooting range for his two would be cowboys.

At this point it behooves me to again educate the BB gun ignorant; as a BB does not have a method of propelling itself down a barrel like a bullet, a BB gun has one of two ways to operate: 1. Compressed air (either manually pumped or by using a pre-filled CO2 cartridge), or, 2. Spring-loaded.

Take a wild stab at what method the fine folks at Daisy chose for the Daisy 102 Model 36 Cub.

Initially the BBs zipped to the targets just fine. The single light bulb hanging from the rafters was proof as it had to be replaced more than once, and we discovered the ricochet effect shooting at the chimney bricks.

By the end of January, the springs that provided the propulsion in the Cubs had lost some of their zip. To hit the targets we were required to raise the muzzles a few degrees to provide some elevation to the projectile's trajectory. By the beginning of March, the springs in both guns were so much al-dente fettuccine, and even if we managed to hit the targets – which wasn't a given – the BBs could no longer penetrate.

It wasn't long afterward that the blush fell off the rose and we were spending less and less time sharpening our sharpshooting skills.

I had some Two Gun Kid and Apache Kid comics to read.

Spring does show up every year, even to Northern Michigan's Keweenaw Peninsula. It's magical warmth causes the snow banks to shrink, gradually at first, and then disappear like cotton candy in a rain storm. It turned the roads into nearly impassable slush and mud, and boys' yearnings to everything summer: baseball, fishing, camping, freedom, no school.

In the spring and summer, Mom's infernal chore list was only a threat if one couldn't sneak out of the house before she latched onto an arm or ear. Avoiding Mom wasn't all that difficult, mostly because my brother and I had five younger siblings who always seemed to be crying for something or other and, as a result, Mom was almost continually distracted.

The first few glorious days of summer were spent in pursuit of birds and small animals with our new but impotent weapons. The hunts turned out to be exercises in futility because even if we managed to hit a chipmunk or squirrel, the BBs would do little more than tickle them.

It wasn't too many days before the Cubs were left in the hall closet to gather dust. What was the point of toting around a firearm that wouldn't fire? Nobody feared us, and the bears and coyotes were scarce, so our pursuits turned to fishing or swimming or that old trusty standby, finding ways to pester the neighborhood girls.

A few weeks into summer found a group of us kids, who had all successfully dodged our respective mother's chore lists, looking for mischief to get into. Picking on the girls was terrific fun but even that had gotten old. How often can you bomb a tea party with water balloons before it loses its attraction?

Fishing was always a draw for me, but nobody else wanted to slog the three miles to the river. A pick up baseball game was mentioned, but there were only eight of us, and, unless we wanted to play with older kids who would take over everything, or worse, girls, it was a non-starter.

Somewhere in our lethargy, the conversation turned to World War II. Over for some time, it was still a favorite subject. One friend's father had actually been in Normandy, and later on was stationed in Paris after it was liberated. He had been a supply clerk and never saw combat, but he still was a hero to us wide-eyed war junkies.

Most of us wouldn't have been able to find Normandy on a map, and whenever I heard of La Madeleine or other French towns I couldn't help picturing Mom's jar of orange marmalade that was always on the breakfast table. But even in our ignorance, we still loved talking about the war.

And then somebody casually asked, why not have a war of our own? For real. With guns. BB guns, albeit, but guns nevertheless. We could map out a large area south of town, stake out territories and try to capture the other's flags. We could set up rules of engagement and follow them to the letter. No targeting someone above the neck. No shooting if the target is closer than 10 feet. If you are hit anywhere but the arms or legs, you are out until the campaign was over and the new one began. Skunk could only pump his gun once; anything more would give him an unfair advantage.

The three boys who weren't already wearing Coke-bottle glasses had to see if they could filch safety goggles from their dad's garages or find something else to protect their eyes.

Breathless, my brother and I raced home to grab our guns and I crept up to our room to grab the half-filled, cardboard carton of ammunition Even employing stealth, we heard Mom yelling for us as the screen door banged behind us and we made our escape and headed to the field of battle.

Most boys are brain dead. At least I was and I can honestly say the thought of how stupid we were being never crossed my gray matter. I can't speak for my brother, but he was right by my side and I don't recall him voicing objections.

If we had stopped to think we would have recognized that if we were found out, not only would Dad bend our guns against the trunk of the maple tree in the back yard, but he'd wear out his razor strop on our heinies.

Perhaps common sense was out pestering the girls that afternoon because it was nowhere to be found when we all met up in the field under the giant cherry tree that we had designated as the demilitarized zone.

In short order we formed two, four-person armies and hammered out the theater of operations. We had to stay in between the two dirt roads to the east and west, and the northern edge of the pond was the southern boundary. The Pelkkanen's (who happened to be out of town) outhouse would represent the northern border of our combat arena.

We tore up the tee shirt pinched from somebody's clothesline and each team took half as a flag. We would split up, set up our head quarters and wait 20 minutes before launching hostilities.

None of us had a watch, so approximately 4 minutes later, we were all slinking through the waist-deep weeds and bramble bushes, crouching behind cedar bushes and pine trees looking for the enemy. Strategy? Ha! We just moved towards the opposite end of the war zone until, hopefully, we'd engage somebody to shoot at.

That's exactly what happened. The two skirmish lines met in an opening in the shrubbery and began firing as fast as we could work the levers on our guns. BBs flew like confetti and boys fell with over-dramatic flair. The BBs had a slightest of stings, except for Skunk's shots, but even those weren't terrible.

Through four successive battles the teams went at it. mostly adhering to the rules. One boy caught a BB in the ear that made him yelp, and in the fourth skirmish I took one in my lower lip which immediately began to swell. The pain wasn't too terrible and I fought on.

Tied two battles to two, we determined to settle the issue of supremacy in one last engagement. To the victor would belong the spoils, whatever they were. Possibly an empty tomato juice can.

Unfortunately, the other team had at least one boy who wasn't addle-minded and had something up their sleeves; they had no intention of a frontal assault.

We found out too late that three of the opposition moved to the west side of the combat zone and made somewhat of a ruckus, drawing our attacking force on the run, while their fourth slipped by unobserved on the east side, waltzed into our base, swiped our flag and redeployed back to his base.

We lost the battle and thus the war without firing a shot. While certainly the defeat stung, my brother and I took the whipping in stride and opined that we'd know better next time. One of our team yelled some of the worst Finnish words he knew; paska, and kusipaa and paskiainen being chief among them. (For those who don't speak Finn, trust me, they're pretty tame by today's standards.)

For some unknown reason that escaped the others in our army, Skunk was livid. How could we lose so easily with such superior firepower? The tyhmät päät must have cheated! He was going to exact some sort of revenge. I tried telling him we just lost and that's the way it goes sometimes. But he was beyond reasoning with.

Skunk set off to the other side of the field with the rest of the team following behind. He would later claim he only pumped his gun once, but my brother and I would both rat him out to the fellows that we both had seen him pumping the gun multiple times as he advanced on the other army's position. How many times did he pump the pump? I have no idea, but it was more than one.

The other team emerged from hiding and began rubbing it in as we approached - as we would have done had we been the victors. Without a word Skunk raised the Crosman and took bead on one of our friends, Jussi. The intended target yelled and spun around to take cover when the BB punctured the denim and skin that covered his keister.

We were all in shock as we watched a small, dark, wet spot appear and grow slowly larger on the wounded boy's left buttock. Even Skunk was mortified at what he'd done. We were all shocked and most of us were crying except for - oddly enough - the boy with the BB in his butt. He handled being shot with remarkable aplomb.

The youngest boy in our gang lost control of his bladder and he peed his pants. (nobody gave him flack for the leak - he was only 8 and, frankly, some of us struggled to keep from peeing in our drawers, too.)

Skunk tossed his gun aside and ran off, all the while crying how sorry he was. The rest of us gathered around our wounded comrade and dithered back and forth about what to do. Jussi gingerly lowered his trousers baring an expanse of pale white flesh with an ugly purplish circle the size of a nickel surrounding a BB-sized darker hole. Bright blood trickled from the wound and dripped down into his pant leg.

Someone suggested sucking out the BB like we might suck out rattlesnake venom. Even Jussi was taken aback by the suggestion and in no uncertain terms bellowed, "Ain't nobody sucking on my arse!"

I picked up Skunk's Crosman and we helped the only real casualty of what we'd come to refer to as the War of the Keweenaw hobble home to have his mom administer first aid.

Either Jussi's parents were brighter than we gave them credit for and didn't buy the story that their son was injured by a branch when he fell out of a tree, or Jussi just told them the truth.

Whatever the case, in short order, all of our parents were brought up to speed and that evening found my brother and me in the backyard with Dad. Our Cubs on the ground at our feet.

Without words he gestured for me to hand him my gun. I did so waited for him to slam the gun against the tree trunk. Instead, he raised his knee and bent the barrel of the gun over it like it was Play-Doh. He tossed my Cub aside and repeated the ceremony with my brother.

We waited for him to pull out his strop but it wasn't forthcoming. Even his belt stayed cinched around his waist. He just looked at us sadly and shook his head.

He hugged us both and whispered, "I'm disappointed in both of you."

We would have rather had him wear out the razor strop on our butts. That was a punishment we could understand, even if it was a painful. "Please yell at us, Dad!" I screamed in my head.

Both my brother and I were sobbing uncontrollably. The worst punishment imaginable had been handed down - Dad was disappointed in us. It was a pain we would strive hard to never feel again.

All of us who had participated in the War of the Keweenaw had received punishments of varying degrees. We all lost our guns, except Skunk, who, in his remorse and shame, presented it to Jussi in atonement.

My brother and I would spend the next several months trying to make Dad proud of us again. We stopped sneaking out of the house and even willingly worked on Mom's infernal chore list that seemed to keep growing, and completed everything on it that an 11 and 10 year-old could. As much as we would have liked to do so, we just weren't able to reshingle the house and garage roofs on our own, but we willingly helped Dad do the job.

Eventually, after a time, Dad returned to his normal, boisterous, and joking self and life went on and it was good.

I never owned another BB gun. A handful of years later I received a Remington .30-06 just in time for deer season, and I've owned multiple rifles, shotguns and pistols since then, but I've never had an 'obsession' for the guns. They are nothing more than tools that I always handle with the respect they deserve.

Note: A dozen or so years ago I was able to visit my old home town and reconnect with the few of my friends who still live in the area. Skunk and Jussi are still best of friends and I can still see the boy in both through the grey. Jussi grinned at me when I brought up The War of the Keweenaw, went to his basement and returned with the Crosman BB gun. He claimed it still worked perfectly.

Although I declined to do so when he offered to let me feel the bump, he asserts the BB is still lodged firmly in his buttock.

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universeinthebox · 1 year ago

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Hey again

Shout-out to all the people who liked and commented on my last post. Glad to know that Squeak hasn’t been forgotten. =)

Comments:

winterstraystar said: For Sonic: Thank you for still looking out for his blog, it means a lot. For Squeak: Hope you are going better wherever life has taken you. I hope you live with no regrets

You’re welcome. I should mention that I’ve done a little writing, and one of my stories is about Squeak. Here it is: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/528407/thanks-for-the-memories

I can’t believe how long it took me to get a fimfiction account. It says something about all the trauma I’ve been through.

There were a lot of us in the Box with mental health struggles of one sort or another. It was really valuable to have that space to talk, and also create! It reminds me of that one Subnormality comic...

pinkusponkus said: Squeak did so much for so many people. I miss him!

Thank you! We miss him too!

kasamari said: I miss the care and love of the whole team you guys put together. I will keep following this and Squeak’s other spaces in the hopes that I get the chance to tell Squeak that the soldier who left his pregnant wife for training all those years ago is now a proud father of 4, still married to the same amazing woman. I will always be so grateful for the story of Good Night and for the wonderful Ponies in a Box that worked to share so many stories.

CONGRATULATIONS! Hip Hip Hurray! I hope we can all be so fortunate. =)

You didn’t ask for advice, but I’m gonna provide some anyway. My favorite parenting book is Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. Also, conventional school sucks and kids would be much better off at Sudbury Schools: https://www.facebook.com/HudsonValleySudburySchool/videos/10155951019968804/ (The teachers are better off too!) Anyway, give your kids a hug from us. And maybe show them an old PIAB video or two =)

And hopefully, hopefully someday you’ll be able to tell Squeak the news directly. I’m sure he’d be happy for you. =)

warbalist said: I miss writing music for his stuff. 😭

Oh wow, you wrote music for him? (Sorry, I don’t recognize the username!) What did you write?

I miss working with him too. I miss the sheer sense of possibility we had in 2012, in the brony fandom generally and especially with Pony in a Box. I still remember how I was on vacation and Squeak came up with the idea for The Best and within 12 hours it was fully written, recorded and posted on Youtube. Or how about that time the other boxers and me secretly made a short for Squeak’s birthday?

I miss hearing our stuff premiere on Celestia Radio. I miss reading the comments as they came in. I miss the little ARG we did for Wrong Way Backwards. I miss the feeling that anything was possible.

I’m really sad that I didn’t go to BronyCon 2013. A lot of PIAB people were there, and in retrospect that was the best opportunity I ever had to see the boxers in person. But my mom had cancer and I had anxiety mixed with self-hatred and the flight seemed too much of a risk and it didn’t seem fair to mom so in the end I didn’t go. =(

I miss my box friends. Too many of us had IRL problems at the same time, and we gradually scattered to the winds. We’ve still got a discord server but it rarely gets any activity. It’s so sad. =(

Special shout-out to Togpie, who was a vital support to me during some extremely difficult times in my life. I think maybe she burnt out, caring for me all the time. If so, I don’t blame her. She worked really hard to help me when she was already busy with her own problems. I haven’t heard from her in over a year now. I hope she’s ok...

It’s strange how Life is so much grander and deeper than it seems. Do you know what I mean? There is so much meaning and passion and joy and opportunities taken and opportunities missed just in this one little group of people. There are so many things that shaped us, so many traumas that the Box helped us face, and then the Box itself drifted away because we still hadn’t found perfect solutions to Life’s problems.

And here I am, posting this little thing that a handful of people will see. How will it impact you? What’s your story?

A good life is possible, I’m sure. The solutions involve things like Children’s Rights and Sudbury Schools and Democracy and Universal Basic Income. The solutions involve things like ponies and fandoms and community for its own sake. The solutions involve knowing that you matter and your feelings matter, and it’s ok to cry when you’re hurt and it’s ok to get mad at abusive people and systems.

I think of the billionaires of the world and I wonder why they don’t just feed the poor. I’ve had a lot of friends who deserve money, good people tied down by bad circumstances. I’ve given a few thousand myself, trying to figure out how much I can afford considering I still can’t manage a full-time job (on account of my mental health). And I wonder why anyone thinks Elon Musk is a good person, seeing that he has so much money but he refuses to help people.

I think back to a time when guys openly liking ponies would have been impossible, when this fandom would have been impossible, where the formation of Pony in a Box would have been impossible. I wonder how many wonderful memories past generations never got to experience because of their stupid rules, and I’m glad for the progress we’ve made and the hope of more progress to come, and I’m also very sad that more progress hasn’t happened already.

Every so often I google anti-aging medicine (which is a legit field now) because I want to make up for all the time I’ve lost to trauma and abuse.

In the meantime, though, I’m glad we had Pony in a Box. And I’m glad that the fandom still exists. And I hope that the choices I make today will help future generations. Maybe new opportunities will come our way, like the TARDIS fading in from the Vortex.

Thank you, my friends.

Onwards and Upwards --Sonicsuns

#brony #SqueakAnon #pony in a box #sudbury schools #children's rights #universal basic income #progress #fandom #trauma #hope

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steampunkforever · 2 years ago

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Skyfall is a good movie. Frankly, all the Daniel Craig bond films leading up to it were good movies. Pivoting from the 06 Casino Royale’s re-contextualization of spies in the post-9/11 geopolitical landscape, Skyfall is about the consequences of the wars we fought before and the mistakes that came back to haunt us following the actions we took in those wars.

Skyfall was released in 2012, 11 years after the twin towers fell and 9 years after the 03 invasion of Iraq. We’d killed Bin Laden and now had to deal with ISIL, who’d not yet bombed the Ariana Grande concert but had at this point grown in power as a result of the US invasion in 03. Setting up the villain of the film (and his horrific disfigurement) as directly the result of MI6 decisionmaking only for him to come back and blow up MI6′s iconic HQ is evidence enough that Skyfall is a retrospective on a decade of war on terror that seems to have done nothing.

There are no better ways to show how tired and old Bond (and the empire he represents) is than to have him fail his fitness tests while in Winston Churchill’s old bunker. A waning icon of a waning empire in the decrepit remains of said empire. It’s a perfect exploration of the intersection of postcolonialism and the war on terror.

Given that the last Daniel Craig film I’d seen before starting Skyfall was Glass Onion, I watched Skyfall with the “I’m so glad that Craig stopped playing Bond so that now he can dress in sweaters in fun movies” criticisms in mind and frankly, I found they fell flat. For one thing, Bond does wear sweaters in this (very fun!) movie (as well as a cute blue adidas tracksuit with matching shoes!), but on top of that I’m starting to realize this criticism of the modern bond franchise (and other films like these) comes from the sort of people who still use the word “grimdark” for their media criticism. Just like those who unironically use “dudebro,” their contributions to serious discussion are limited. Doubly so for Skyfall because this movie is fantastic and balances tone elegantly.

I will admit that Skyfall takes a serious tone when addressing things like “the fall of the 20th century western imperialist old guard” and “thematic explorations of the war on terror and the mistakes of those gambling with the lives of millions” (If you were to try and write those into something finally similar to Trolls 2 it’d be difficult though not impossible) but I will argue that the movie is still self aware enough to understand itself as a pulpy adventure film.

This isn’t Moonraker or anything, but Skyfall is self aware enough to know what beats to hit. The villain monologues and then challenges Bond to a flintlock pistol shooting match. They keep the main bad guy in a dorky sci-fi glass prison cell. The action finale has goons (did I mention that there are goons?) showing up in a helicopter to attack a castle. They even pull the old DB5 out of mothballs so Bond can threaten the ejection seat trick. Bond fights off an evil lizard in a casino at one point. Imagine the movie in 60s Technicolor and the bones of the plot are just as camp as Goldfinger.

The movie is clearly self-aware and plays into the campier story conventions of a genre the franchise it belongs to basically started. It just doesn’t have characters shrug and go “*gulp* he’s behind me isn’t he?” Instead of lampshading the more ridiculous aspects of pulp characters from the 60s and 70s, Skyfall is so darn earnest about how cool these are. It’s self aware yet charming in its seriousness! (Jots down “James Bond Skyfall = Solarpunk?” into margin of notebook and is never heard from again)

Movies like Captain Marvel can’t say the same, and only half of that is because you can’t write a critique of Bush and Obama era imperialism while also shilling for the USAF. It’s because they can’t be serious in their ridiculousness that they end up being less campy (ashamed of truly trying) and less adult (too silly to take seriously) and ultimately less fun than movies like Skyfall.

That’s ultimately what Skyfall is. A Pulpy country-hopping spy flick about modern spies operating in shadows that are getting more cynical with every conflict. It’s not Dr. No but it’s immense fun that explores themes few other franchises are tackling these days. That’s worth a lot more than whatever Ryan Reynolds/The Rock spy film is dealing these days. And Daniel Craig got to wear a dark powder blue tracksuit too.

#filmposting #skyfall #james bond

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newbiespud · 2 months ago

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So, when I started out writing my first big fanfic, I did something very wrong.

Normally, you separate speakers between paragraphs - you don't have two characters sharing quotation marks in the same paragraph, unless they're so short and quick that it reads easily that they took place in practically the same moment, or something like that.

No no no, multiple narrative beats, all squashed together in the same paragraph. Why? Because otherwise it would've been just a bunch of one-liners.

"Blah," he said. She replied, "Blah." "Blah," they responded.

So, knowing that it was aesthetically displeasing but not much else, I just put them all in the same paragraph. Not realizing that it kind of makes keeping track of who's talking and acting in a given moment a little bit jarring and confusing. Not impossible, but deeply annoying in retrospect.

Eventually, around two-thirds of the way through story number two, I realized that separating speakers into different paragraphs flows better and gives you an excuse to add more detail, so improvement was made. But that still left an entire story and two-thirds in the "old" style.

Well. Now I've gone back to those first fanfics and separated them all out. A basic touch-up editing pass that I've been wanting to do for nigh 15 years now, finally complete. And I've already spoken on how much of a rollercoaster it is to be re-reading stuff you wrote when you were a tortured escapist 15-year-old rather than the tortured escapist 32-year-old you are now...

Still, the mission is to reclaim what I previously gave up and lost, psychologically, and that's going at a steady pace, so ultimately this is cause for celebration, even if I have to catch my breath from the cringe.

#writing #editing #fanfiction #the interference #two stories down two to go

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popculturebuffet · 6 months ago

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The KaBlammiest Retrospective: KaBlam! Season 4 Review: See Ya When We See Ya (Comission for Cory Bryant)

Hey there kablammoids, assume the crash position, keep your heiner in the recilner and get ready for more KaBlam! It's been a long ride but we're almost at the end: we're at the show's final season and next time we have some loose ends, some final thoughts, and close out this retrospective proper.

For now though we're looking at Season 4 of KaBlam, the final season, one constantly shuffled and screwed around by the network. The "screwed by the network" part isn't remotely suprising as Nick, for all the warm fuzzies it brought us as kids... has a track record of being absolutely awful in how it treats it's shows. A show is LUCKY if it gets two seasons most of the time, especially nowadays, and even if you do get those two seasons or more, the final season may be shuffled around all hours of the night and day so that you can't actually watch it. KaBlam, Danny Phantom, Hey Arnold, a LOT of nick shows had their final seasons just.. trickeled around. And tha'ts if your lucky: once sister network Nicktoons was established it became Nick's go to to dump off a series when it didn't meet their impossible expectations (I.e. being an overnight success, of which only Loud House has really met those goals in recent years), the third season of My LIfe as a Teenage Robot was left in limbo for years, and currently they just decided to.. not air the rest of big nate season 2 at all and remove the rest from paramount+. Viacom is awful is what i'm getting at and always has been.

So KaBlam getting kicked in the teeth in it's final go round wasn't a suprise. It's also not suprising given the series meta nature that they amped up the shots at the network, creating Mr. Stockdale, the exec running KaBlam this season to clearly vent about how brainless the execs at Nick were/still are.

It's also clear even with a possible spinoff.. they knew they were towards the end. There's episodes about the kids fretting about their future careers, and the ending makes it clear they knew they probably weren't coming back, leaving it OPEN to a return (or a revivial, HINT HINT PARAMOUNT), but knowing it probably won't happen. The end was a comin and this was a last hurrah and the Henry and June shorts made the most of this.

Outside of the host segments, there's a unique feel to the season: Sniz and Fondue are now truly gone, and in their absence we get more pilots than ever. There are a TON more animated shorts this season. This is a mixed blessing as there's a ton of great new shorts and we get not one but TWO music videos for they might be giants as well as a wholly original concept from the same team as the Henry and June segments, Dave Son of Hercules, and some true bangers to go out on.. but also a few misfires that were likely given the space as they needed whta they could get. It feels right though that KaBlam goes out with an influx of original shorts: it came in giving indie animators a shot and goes out giving every last one it had left a shot.

This torch would be picked up by O-Yeah Cartoons at least, but that's a story for maybe another day. For now let's see what KaBlam saved for it's final act.

As I mentoined in the overview , the final season of Henry and June shorts doubles down on the mocking of executives as their now given a character to represent them, Fred Stockdale.

Mr. Stockdale is a spacey old man who is barely aware of anythinmg happening to him, takes naps in his office frequently, and forgets what he's doing. He is a burden to deal with most times our heroes have to and most times he interjects with the show he messes with it. The writers were not subtle.

Stockdale features in about half of the episodes and how entertaining he is largely depends on the joke. Him just saying Henry and June's names wrong or being spotty.. is something i've seen done better by better characters

He works best when he's clearly just off in his own weird world, offering them snacks when they bring up a labor dispute, smashing his cell phone because it annoyed him , not realizing he's lost in the woods, or spending a good chunk of the show's budget on a train because he likes choo choos. He is also decent satire, showing how execs tend to be completely detached from projects they have far too much say in.

Another thing i noticed is the show keeps it's secondary cast around. Henry's mom appears for the third season in a row and gets two apperances, and i'm utterly exastic to report Jimmy , June's sidekick from last season returns.

Stylistically season 4 of Henry and June largely trucks on. While there are more shots at the network, and again not unresonably, it's otherwise a lot like season 3

That being said even with the unfair cancelation.. you can feel fatigue setting in a bit. The first half has a decent ep or two, but as I typed out my thoughts on each episodes I realized a lot of these are just.. meh. Not terrible to watch, but nothing really special like the last two seasons. There's an exception or two but most of these are just passable. Not bad, but probably best the series ended where it did. I do wish Marek would ge tmore work though as his work is great and the art here is as good as ever, and the final episode and his original segment for it show he still had legs. It's just clear they kinda took these two as far as they could.. and makes me dread the spinoff pilot next time. For now though..

Sasquatchersise: Henry and June have put on some weight, which heavily reminds me of a later home movies episode with the same premise, but honestly does it just as good: turns out they have to pass a physical fitness test and there's only one man who can help them

Yes fitness guru Richard Simmons. For those less familiar with him he was a fitness instructor who made a killing via vhs and has currently retreated from the public eye. He's doing fine, he simply decided to live privately and occasionally post on facebook. And honestly given the number of celebrties going the right wing jackass route, it's refresshing that richard simmons isn't ranting into daily wire he's simply.. retired. That's it. That's all. Good fo rhim

He tries his best but ultimately can't help the two loose weight in time.. thankfully in a really nice button it turns out they just have to withstand slapstick. A decent start to the season, mostly because I have a soft spot for Richard due to a combo of my grandma having his tape as a kid and that simpsons bit.

Takes a Knockin and Keeps Tick Tockin: This is a strike episode, as Henry goes on strike after finding out Mr Stockdale is having him injured for money. Given the sheer amount of abuse Henry takes, I can't say I blame him. June naturally only gets involved when she gets hurt and even more naturally they get replaced by robots.. and only get their jobs back because the robots malfunction. This one has a good start but fizzles out in the second half. The robots thing just isn't that funny nor is our heroes begging for their jobs back. It's mehtacular!

In It To Win It: A fantastic one as Henry and June get a today show style window outside their set and quickly the fandom grates on them. From unsettling hairy men to june cosplayers beating June up not realizing it's her, to their attempts to ignore them leading to their viewers looting the set it's a really great time.

The Best of Both Worlds: Our heroes want to go to the real world and try various shenanigans to get there. The first half is fine, but it really gets good in the back half when they casually find out there's just.. a door to the real world and we get real kids in wigs overdubbed playing the two, who decide the pain isn't worth it. My faviorite part is the final joke as it turns out Mr Foot just gets pizza from the real world all the time and our heroes hot doggin and grandstanding quickly deflates. Decent stuff but like Takes a Knockin and Keeps Tick Tockin, a bit lopsided.

A Nut in Every Bite: This one's a tad dervative as "boy gets crush on girl but won't actually talk to her" is a Nickelodeon staple. What works here is unlike some of Nick's own examples, Henry is portrayed as an idiot for not talking to Mr Stockdale's niece dawn, especially since she makes it clear she just wants him to say it himself. Henry doing more slapstick than usual to get her attention and June's utter exapseration make this one work.

Now With More Flava: This one is just.. depressing in hindsight. It's one of the better eps of the season objectveily, but it's VERY hard to seperate from reality. The opening bit is funny as our heroes find John Stamos, who I think is voice dby himself, working security and worry their star is fading. The thing is.. the characters stock DID go down eventually: while they did host segments fo ra while they disappeared and unlike most other nick shows from the era, nick dosen't seem to give one iota of a shit about this one nostalgicly: henry and june are just.. absent form murals, posters, group shot merch, all that good stuff. So this episode was just sadly prophetic, ending with the two working security themselves after trying to cash in.

Timeless: This one is a lot of fun as the two bury a time capsule and our heroes keep pissing off mr foot by forcing him to redig it: We get henry trying to bury his report card, June dumping out the stuff henry wanted for her merch, and a giant capsule getting dumped into some poor guys apartment. It's good stuff. The ending, mr foot stuffing them in , is fine if a bit obvious. Still it's such a fun segment it's hard to complain too long.

The Ka-Blair Witch Project: Another classic. The Ka-Crew have a team building retreat in the woods, with Henry, June and Mr Foot joined by Jimmy, Mr Stockdale and Henry's Mom in her final apperance. Mr Foot abandons them, even if he comes back in the credits, leading to lots of fun hyjinks from our heroes. It's good stuff. I've seen plenty of camping disaster episodes, but this one benefits from using the characters to their fullest.

Going the Extra Mile: This one.. was annoying. Ryan, an annoying kid from their class, wins a fan contest. His voice just.. grates on me on an atomic level and his schtick is something i've seen on a LOT of shows and done better. You know the drill. And given it was almost 2000 by this point, it's late neough in the shows run that I can't give it as much slack for this. The annoying fan plot was done better and would be done even better after this. Spongebob and Flight of the Conchords eat this episodes lunch. As does the film hot rod if only for richardson's sweet moves.

On the bright side Ryan does get shoved in the trunk of Mr. Foot's car, which h'es excited about as he's driven off to dig his own grave.

Under New Managment: This one is okay. Mr Stockdale tasks our duo with firing mr foot, a task made hard by the fact he won't wake up for them to do it. Henry tries twice, mostly because well Mr Foot has pummled him a bunch. The payoff joke, that they get him a new job as an executive is fine, it's just a forgetable plot>L it's a good concept they just don't do much with it apart from June getting him a job as an air traffic controller... so mr foot murdered a LOT more than the three people we've seen thus far on his way out. classic mr foot

Just Chillin: Our grand finale and while the rest of the episodes are mostly ... fine, Just Chillin is an instant classic and a worthy finale for these segments and the show as a whole. It's got a simple meta premise: Henry wants to make KaBlam more exciting as they don't know how much time they have left in the show , a nod that this could be the last episode and ended up being it. This is one of those episodes written as a finale, but not as defntiive in case the show got renewed. It didn't but this serves as a great one.

So they decide to have a KaBlamaganza! Pomp, ninjas and train chases... and the consequences of trying to give the people more than they could ask for results in their budget going away: the actor for the train fight gets fired, with Mr Stockdale hilariously trying to fill in, our heroes are reduced to black and white then cutouts, then learn their lesson and get their animation back.. not because they learned an animation but because Mr. Stockdale likes Choo Choos. They get hit by a train.. and will see us when they see us. It's a fitting end.. a bit of slapstick, some meta jokes, and a goodbye that feels final rather than the usual "see you next time". It hit hard, and i'm REALLY going to miss this show and while it was a releif getting to the end, as this project while fun has also been exausting and gotten delayed at times, it was also deeply sad. I'll miss this show.. and i'll miss you henry and june. Thanks for.. oh right we still have a LOT of ground to cover. My apologizes.

Action League Now!'s final season goes out on a high note, fitting as they'd later get their own show repackaging these segments for people who only liked this show and not the rest of kablam

Or just wanted to rerun the episodes without the league. There is one short specific to a tryout special for said series we'll get to next time.

Season 4 is mostly the same, with the quality going back up to around season 3 with the exception of two episodes. The big diffrence from the other seasons is movie parodies: Outside of the Jaws parody "Incident at Chlorine Lake", Action League now mostly stuck to either broader genre parodies or it's own thing. Even it's parody of aliens landing films was mostly "how badly can our heroes fuck up first contact. For the record it's sonly real tv/comics parody the red ninja being a parody of storm shadow from gi joe and the heroes that upstaged them being based on the challengers of the unknown.

Season 4 on the other hand is half movie parody, half buisness as usual and one literary parody with Flowers for Algernon. We get parodies of Armageddon, Jurassic Park, Face/Off, and for some reason Stephen King's Thinner. It works due to most of the parodies working well with the show, and a nice spread of regular stories. The Face Off Parody in paticular is my faviorite for reasons we'll get to shortly. Otherwise it's one last hurrah for the action loosers as they once again fuck up a bunch, somehow save the day, and go out with a great final season. I started pretty salty on this show but I can't help but love action league now er.. now. It's creative, hilarious, and lasted long enough to do a LOT with the premise and the world , but not so long it wore out it's welcome. I'll miss these idiots.

The Naked and the Dumb: A rare short that shadows the main Henry and June plot. The team is given apptitude tests to stay in the league and everyone passes.. including meltman somehow. Frankly i'm suprised he didn't stab himself iwth a pencil repdeately. The Flesh of course drew a kitty and thus is going to get kicked out, and the team needs him since he's their tank. We get a fun bunch of destructive hyjinks as they try to teach him, the great visual gag of them just.. writing notes on him, and the amazing punchline: he drew a doggy instead. I like both personally but hey it's a decent start to a great season.

Winds of Evil: The Mayor menaces people with a giant fan. At least he's not throwing them into it. It's a simple but amazing premise. At the same time the action league don't want to party at stinky's because he lives in an actual toilet, a joke so simple it's amazing. He refuses to shelter them after feeling snubbed by this, and only saves their lives if they agree to spend a weekend at his beach place, which was a porta potty a joke way better than it has any right to be, just like this episode.

Chickie Chickie Bang Bang: The Mayor tries to black market chicks, played by actual baby chickens, who are adorable.. and also peck out his eyes. The League is forced to calm them. This one was okay. Great premise, somehow not at all memorable.

Armageddon Out Of Here: Great title and a solid armageddon parody. It uses the same framework, our heroes have to blow up a meteor, but uses our heroes stupidity and selfishness well. They only agree to the mission because they get to blow shit up, and end up stranded because Flesh forgot the explosives, though still giving us an explosively good episdoe. I also applaud it for just.. leaving the league stuck there. While their back next episode I like to think there's at least one timeline where Chief is free of this mummy's curse of a team and maybe gets a spinoff in florida with bill the lab guy.

Yurplastic Park: This one is weak. it's a Jurassic Park Parody

That's all they have. I expect better and dumber from this show. It's one good joke is our heroes and the dinosaurs being saved because of sequels. I mean I do like the one where the guy realizes he shoudln't of given his robot dinosaur a penis because like everything with a penis it's gonna want to use it's penis.

Grief for the Chief: Thankfully the episode rebounds with one of the series best. The team's stupidity puts Chief in a coma and they remember all the good times.. and all the times they accidently injured him, either through good nature or stupidity. it's both sweet to see how much they genuinely like the chief.. and hilarous that his rage over their actions wakes him up. Simpsons had a similar gag, but this ones just diffrent enough to be great too. Good stuff.

Hey! Who Stole My Face?: I just read that title while picturing nicholas cage screaming it. Your welcome. Anyways it's a face off parody in that face's get swapped, so it's a loose one.. but ti works: the chief and the mayor get their faces on each others bodies.. and it's both so obvious and so hilarous. Everyone including bill is an idiot about this, so the Cheif has to rely on stormy, the dog I forget's on the team half the time to escape a prison beating, while the Mayor easily traps the league.. and the mayor looses his actual face. One that thrives purely on it's visual gags but what a gag it is

A Flesh of Genius: This one's boosted by a brand new villian, smarty pants, a baby doll dressed up as a neurotic nerd.. aka what I look like as far as you know. Our heroes cram the world's knowledge into face to keep it safe from this know at all, only for this to backfire as the flesh is now a smug jerk who constantly corrects grammar and is a pain to bea round. The Flesh normally kills or injures a LOT of people daily, but he's at least not telling the chief that you and I shit. You and me is just as fine. We get a final chess duel between the two, and the flesh loosing his intellect but winning by pure luck. A solid ep that uses a well worn premise decently.

Tune Up of Terror: Hodge Podge's final hurrah as he hyjacks the action mobile remotely. The premise is clever, he's using an rc remote, but otherwise the ep is just kinda.. eh. Meltman driving is kinda funny, I cant really knock him for taking a while to get a liscnse as I don't have one, but I can mock him for not being funny. He.. he no funny. Dammit. You win this round Meltman

What's Eating the Flesh: This episode has a great premise: the flesh rides a diseased guiena pig

And thus spreads a flesh eating virus to the team. I love how their left as head, how the treesap cure is dish soap and how when bill looks at the virus he sees mrs pac man. It's great. It's big drawback is that it has a racist sterotype bill goes to for help and I can't really FULLY enjoy the ep as a result. It's just bad even by late 90's/year 2000 standards. That Pac Man joke is an all timer though. one of the best in KaBlam as a whole.

Fatter: This one is just.. bad. They make a parody of Stephen King's it, where an old romani woman curses the chief.. only he overeats instead of looses weight.

It's painful, miildly gross and i'ts only redeeming factor is the chief blowing up after the ypop him and even that gets too gross to fully enjoy. A really whimper of an ending for the shows KaBlam run that makes me glad there's one more short to cover.. three actually but two are pilots. more on that next time.

So here's a shocker... I loved this season of Prometheus and Bob. Yes.. really. After three seasons of just absolute abivelence to this segment, just checking out to the point I went into a sleep deprived tangent last time... I loved this season of the show. The segments were funnier, played with the formula well and had more jokes than "caveman don't get it and monkey is asshole". I'm happy I enjoyed at least one batch of these: the premise isn't bad, the claymation is great and the two leads designs are iconic. It just wasn't for me... but i'm happy to say this season was.

Softball: Bob learns to

IQ: Bob takes an IQ test...... it took a second to figure it out because the wikipedia entry for this, which I use as the episode guide for prometheus and bob on the kablam wiki uses the number for the tape instead of the actual episode order. But this one was REALLY funny. Bob is given a test to put blocks in holes.. and puts promethus in a rock nearbye... just makes hims tand in a corner. So not only does bob get the test for once, but it's hilariously done.

Tape One: This was my faviorite as it's one of the most obvious things to do, but it fits they held off till the final batch: we see how Prometheus met bob. Prometheus comes down, and the other caveman understandably run away as they really can't.. comprehind the thin alien man. Bob dosen't.. because his hair is really stupid long and passes out. We do get a geninely nice moment form Prometheus who is usually just.. hung up on his job.. but cuts bob's hair to help him see. It's practical sure but it drives home he's really TRYING to help bob he just dosen't get that maybe bob dosen't need every advancement prometheus tries. We also find out why bob's bald, which isn't info I needed but I love the explination: he got a hold of the clippers and kept going and apparently just.. keeps doing that. He laso defends prometheus from the other cavemen, before prometheus rescues them both. Also they were going to eat the monkey. It's a fun origin story: we didn't NEED these explinations, but they were fun to find out which is how a good origin story should go.

Exercise: I forgot this one so..

Hey I said I liked this season I didn't say I liked every episode.

Dating: Prometheus tries to wingman for bob, which is cute. It dosen't go well, and she ends up falling for Prometheus but he tried. One of the series best.. which coming from me is nothing, but I still really liked this one. I especially liked the monkey for once NOT fucking everything up and instead just comforting bob at the end.

Pet: .. I dont' have anything for this one. Uh... here's wolverine fighting a dinosaur?

Yeah!

Evolution: Okay this one is REALLY fun as Promethus just.. gives up and tries to speed up bob's evolution.. and accidently ends up devolved. So we get a model swap which is a lot of funa nd had to be a lot of effort. I also like the solution: Monkey HYPER evolves and resets everything. This is also the final short and feels like a proper finale. Seriously every recurring segment seems to go out on a high EXCEPT action league now. It's weird. Speaking of which

It's time to bid farewell to Life with Loopy, which was always one of my faviorite segments, but I can say with confidence after four seasons is KaBlam's best. It's the most consistent, creative and fun of the recurring segments and goes out on a high note. Season 3 is a touch better, but Season 4 is still really good. Shorter, like Prometheus and Bob it was in less episodes and thus there's not AS much but what's there of this last batch is pure quality. The show ends well and i'm REALLY sad to see this one go. There may never be another show like you loopy. Thanks for letting me see your life.

Alternative Hamsters: Loopy experiments with Alternative Energy. Huh if I'd known about this one I would've snuck it into the earth day specail. At any rate this naturally leads to her hamster turning into a giant monster and her having to save it from teh military blowing the poor guy up real good. Thankfully she realizes her hamster can run on a wheel to provide energy to the whole town. A pretty standard start to the season, which says a lot about this show and a lot about me that this dosent phase me. It's not a radioactive killer hamster from a planet near mars after all.

Mister Macho: Larry gets bullied at the beach, but chooses to be chill about it. Loopy, is not so chill and uses an old muscle man add in a comic. Larry turns into a hulked up rage monster... which somehow is a very COMMON PLOT: skinny kid gets buff then lets it go to his head. It's done very well here it's just.. weird that for once the stock plot is something this oddly specific. It happens quite a bit but we never really talk about it. even simpsons did it, but we don't talk about that one for a lot of good reasons. Also it was marge instead of bart for some reason. I do like how it's solved; turns out the guy who made it's Zen now and helps larry loose his muscles and his zen attitude scares the guy off. Which is good because Loopy would've torn him assunder. After all where Zen ends, asskicking begins.

Times Up: Loopy beats click by a decade or two by making a fast forwarding remote. Instead of learning a lesson about time, she has to run from the time police. I love how she's entirely flippant to them. It's a common theme honestly. She gives not one iota of a fuck to the powers that be and it's amazing.

I (Don't) Belivie I Can Fly: Dave the Canadian Duck is back!

Dave's migrating again and since his best buddy left the south pole with him to attend to some pressing matters

He's back to get help migrating again. This time Loopy teaches him to fly a plane. It's a cute little episode as Dave is forced to face his fear and I love these two's little friendships and his promise to see her again next year. Sadly we woudln't see that.. but I like to think he just showed up every year to visit.

Good Food Gone Bad; This is a classic loopy premise: she takes a concept literally and turns out to be right. I am glad the show broke out of this formula, finding more weird shit to do, but it's kinda nice to go back to it once in a while. Staying in a formula forever can be draining but you can still find new life in it. And they do as Loopy's mnilk goes bad and she tries to help him on the wrong side of the track, dealing with a bad guy bar for expired food, a literal bad egg and a gang of greaser milk including her old one who she finds new lives for as cheese. It's wholesome, creative and has a lot of fun designs, this show in a nutshell.

Down the Drain: Loopy deals with a clog. This one's fine. Also I just now found out their family's last name is cooper. Huh.

Rock N Roll Loopy: My faviorite of the batch. We finally meet Bugsteak, Larry's faviorite band and I like how they've kept his love of them consistent. They haven't come up in a WHILE, but it's nice that they werne't forgotten. Larry can't afford tickets to their concert so he asks for tickets, since their down with the youth. Now Bugsteak IS within their rights to tell him "no thank you", or to at least make it up. Instead their response is, summed up...

Loopy is naturally pissed and while Larry sleeps at a friends house, she confronts bugsteak at their hotel. She points out their current fancy livin, lalalalala, and stuck up ways have made them loose touch with thier fanbase and dares them to spend one night like a real kid.

So we get a lot of funny bits as Bugsteak is not happy with meatloaf (which I don't get at all as a meatloaf guy), has to listen to dad talk for several years, and mom cuts their hair. They realize they were wrong, make a song about the experince and sing it to Larry. I just love this concept: a bunch of stuck up 90's rockers being put off by having to live like teens again. It's fucking great and the live action actors do a great job as bugsteak.

Bargin Hunters From Beyond the Stars: Is a decent finale. I admit the episode above would've made a better one, but it's still a good note to go out on. Loopy has a yard sale and sells most of the stuff they had.. but accidnetly sells her dad to a pair of aliens and has to find a trade. The gag is once again he goes on too long, which seems to be a trait exclusive to these final two episodes, but it fits the guy well enough that I don't mind nor do I mind it being reused as the contexts are diffrent: with bugsteak it's simply what Larry goes through every night, while here it's the old "annoy the aliens into getting rid of you" chestnut. It's a decent ending to an incredible show.

While our time together was way shorter, I'll also really miss race rabbit. It was a fun segment and it's , like most of kablam, sad ot see it go. But it goes out with both a nice cluster of episodes and on a high note.

Dog/Prince/Ham: Race has to deal with Gold Dingo, a mysterious criminal mastermind whose also a dog, and of course the boolies.. thought his time they pretend to like gold dingo, have kidnapped the prince.. only for the bigger boolie to get beaten up. I also like how he saves the prince: getting him out of the car and letting Gold Dingo go off a cliff a sdog's can't read. I don't know the science on that but ti's a goofy enough gag to get a pass

Robot Rabbit: I prefer Rabbot myself. Race dates a robot rabbit which can relate, but it dosen't work out as it was made by the boolies. How fast he moves is funny as is Max being exasperated for good reason for once.

The Championship: The finale and fittingly the best episode of the shorts. Race has to deliver the secret to strawberry cream, but has to deal with a bunch of pastry chefs all huddled in the same car throwing pies at him, which is just.. it's beautiful man. It's so frickin beautiful. The boolies also have a good plan for once: a heat seeking missle. IT's neat to see race force dup against two threats at once, as the Boolies were sidelined for the gold dingo thing, and I love how he solves it: putting hot chill on the chefs, taking both out, delivering the microfilm and saving the day. That's how it's done old sport.

JetCat's final two shorts are.. a mixed bag. Todd is less annoying in one and still so very punchable in the other. Still a decent superhero work, seen better, movin on.

Lunchtime: Melanie's lunch is interuptted by a mad shark man stealing the cities water and threanting the new wate rpark she and todd want to go to, while Todd guards her mother's cookies

For once he dosen't fuck up, not only not eating them, but also protecting them from said super villian. The series best episode. not a super high bar, but still neat.

I Was a Grade School WereMoth: This one has a great villian in Vicki Von Verman, an insect who hopes to turn JetCat into a hybird bug monster but instead gets Todd because he wans to be a sidekick and drinks strange liquids in hideouts proving why he's not. I mean most human sidekicks to powered heroes do fuck up: Jimmy Olson got transformed once a week and was forcebly married to a gorilla

Ron Stoppable became a super villian and accidently created one. But both these guys are also geninely good dudes who are helpful. Todd is just annoyingly overconfident and stupid. He's a child, and I do give child characters a wide berth for being assholes, but Todd is just so consitently jerkish, selfish and terrible I question why Mellanie hangs out with him. He dragged these shorts down to the depths of hell and while there's good company down there

It still shoudln't be this bad. I've rarely seen a character piss me off this much and that includes the other hall of shamers he's with.

As I mentioned in the intro, the show made up for loosing Sniz and Fondue, as well as what seems to be a dwindling number of Life with Loopy and Prometheus and Bob shorts to use something I only noticed after writing those sections, with a LOT of pilots and a few extra music videos. It's a fair trade off; KaBlam's always featured a ton of unique animation styles and pilots, it's just now spread out instead of an end of or mid season thing.

As usual the shorts are visually diverse, creator driven affairs and really fun to look at. There are more duds than usual, a lot of the weaker one off shorts i've seen from KaBlam reside in this section, but it's counterballanced by all but one of these shorts having great animation and a LOT of great shorts spread throughout. Also we get two They Might Be Giants Music Videos, which is always a good thing to put in your childrens cartoon, so that alone makes this influx of shorts worth it. So let's see what we have

Emmet Freedy: Emmet Freedy has a great art style, using a lot of puppetry to create some fun ugly puppets, and a lot of love and care went into this one and I admire that. The problem is the short itself is pretty stock for nickeldoen, if coked up a bit: Emmet Freedy lies about having lice to avoid a project, only for things to get out of hand. The grossout bits don't help. I wish I liked this one better because it's expertly crafted.. but they used that craft to make something pretty generic by 90's/00's nick standards.

Fuzzball: This one's just genericA tomboy named Fuzzball breaks her dad's bowling trophy when he breaks a promise to take her to the carnival, so she hustles to get a new one. I've seen better tween slice of life shows like As Told by Ginger or All Grown UP after this, and even before this the Girl with her head coming off was way better.

Garbage Boy: After two weak segments, Garbage Boy was a LOT of fun and has a far more intresting premise: Danny's dad works at the local dump, and thus bring shome various pieces of garbage that end up in the basement, and Danny uses them to solve his problems. In this case he dosen't have a pet ,the local bullies snake is eating his friends pets, and his parents won't get him one. His sister is also an abomination of some kind but they don't talk baout it for some reason. So he builds himself a dog that comes to life and wisecracks because the 90's and beats the bully. IT's a fun boy and his dog story with a dash of frankenstien and I like the art style: it's thorughly weird, patching together bits of photos like a ransom note but outsid eof said devil baby it works fantasticly.

The Shizzagee: This one blows. I'd be nice about it, but it wastes a good premise, an extinct creature is brought back and becomes friends with ab oy, on an annoying as hell beast that won't shut the fuck up and awful cg animation. Part of it is age, but even giving it that much, it just looks.. bad. It has a soundtrack by they might be giants but nothing else.

Little Freaks: One of my favorites and a simple premise: a weird supervillian uses moths to eat everyone's clothes so he can make them all dress the same and slowly conquer them, so it's up to the little freaks to stop them, a group of three friends who all look diffrent: Tryla, a three eyed girl with a triangle face, Briangel, a kid with a brain in a jar on his head which melts if he overthinks, and Dubbs, conjoined twins. It's a fun little short with a nice silver age parody flair, something done a lot but done right here. It's cute, fast and a lot of fun.

Doctor Worm: My faviorite segment. It was close, LIttle Freaks and our final indie short are very close. This last batch in the final few eps was really damn good.. but I have to give it to this one. It takes the They Might Be Giants classic and gives us the tail of a little worm who likes to play the drums and tries to get a band looking for a drummer's attention. It takes the song and makes it the tail of a cheery guy who clearly just wants friends. The animation is great, the live action blending is fantastic, and it's sheer fun to watch. Ther'es a reason I made it the title card for this one.

Stewy the Dogboy: This one's.. fine. It's a premise similar to teacher's pet and was actually going to get a full series order before that series got greenlit over at disney. It's not bad, it's fun and I like the payoff of Stewie's chaos getting him seen as a genius by the principal, as well as stewie's voice, it sounds nicely doggish and innocent. It's just Teachers Pet simply did this premise better, and that's not this short's fault. It's still a good boy.

Why Does the Sun Shine?: Another TMBG music video, another banger. I prefer Dr. Worm but this is a one for "The sun is a mass of incadesant gas" and I assume if you grew up after a certain point, you know this one. A boy tries to look at the sun, a sicentst doctor and asun grooves. Really fun stuff.

Dave Son of Hercules: The show's final original short and it' sluckily a banger. It's also unique as it's the only one done by Henry and June animator and creator Mark Marek. It's a really fun premise I wish had got it's own series and it's all in th etitle: Dave is a pretty normal 90's kid whose dad is Hercules. Herc .. really hasn't adjusted to modern life, and thus we get a LOT of fun antics: the guy drives a chariot, slays a serpent ride at the carnival, goes to a greek restraunt to consult the gods, and when realizing he let his boy down, offers to pluck out his eye or liver. Herc is just loveably dramatic: he really wants to be a good dad, he's just out of time. I also like the greek restraunt bhit as the owner, rather than turn herc away, actaully gives him advice, getting Herc genuinely thinks he's the gods and just needs a friend. His advice is good too: quality time. It works.. it ends in the police station for a bit but it works and while Dave is embarassed, he's genuinely impressed and the short ends adorably witht he two skipping rocks. What helps is Dave is embarassed by his dad, but you get he loves the guy.. and unlike a lot of embrarssed kids in children's cartoons you aboslutely get why. A divine finish to KaBLam.

Our Penultimate KaBlammy awards. Next time we'll give out both ones related to our odds an dends.. and overall ones. Best episodes, best segments for series overall. The works. For now, this season

Best Henry and June: Just Chillin. It's not even close. Just Chilin is a fun finale that sends the series out on a high.

Action League Now!: Hey Who Stole My Face? A thorughly stupid, thorughly hilarious face off parody.

Prometheus and Bob: Tape One. A fun origin story and easily the best of these shorts. Sorry to spoil that now but it's true.

Life with Loopy: Rock N Roll Loopy. Beefsteak are too much fun.

Race Rabbit: The Championship, a grand finale for a grandly silly series.

Jetcat: THe one that dosen't ahve todd being a jackass.

Suprising Short: Doctor Worm. They call him doctor worm, good morning to you he's doctor worm.

Next TIme: We finish this. Every little bit of KaBlam I found under the couch cushions. Pilots, shorts KaBlam didn't use the works. ONe last hurrah. See you next week and thanks for reading

#kablam #henry and june #action league now #life with loopy #prometheus and bob #jetcat #race rabbit #they might be giants #animation #nickelodeon #the 90s

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