#you know the song ease my mind by mr ben platt | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alpacaparkaseok · 4 years ago

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7 Secrets <pt. 6>

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: maybe a bit of anxiety

WORD COUNT: 5446

I rewrote this part a few times, I wanted to get it just right. I hope you enjoy! Stuff is about to go down lol

**Song rec for this chapter: “So Will I” by Ben Platt

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Thursday begins with a bang.

More specifically, it begins with the sound of Ichika falling off of her bed from the upper floor, and me waking up at the sound and wondering for half a moment what I’ve got going on today.

Ignorance is bliss.

The house is oddly quiet, and I lay there for a lot longer than I thought I would be able to. I eye my shopping bag at the foot of my bed, eager to get ready. Like Himari said last night: we’re going to look good today.

It isn’t until a light knock sounds at my door that I realize I’ve been dozing off again. Ichika peeks inside, her face lighting up in a grin when she sees my bedhead.

“Good morning,” she chimes before padding over and flinging herself onto my bed. We lay there for a long while, quietly chatting about the day and how we’re going to get ready and style our hair.

Next comes Aera, her bedhead even more impressive than mine. She doesn’t say a word, simply sliding in under the covers.

Minsuh and Seohyun appear later on. My bed isn’t nearly big enough to accommodate us all but I don’t mention it, opting to bask in the lazy morning that feels like the calm before the storm.

It’s nearly noon by the time Himari and Kyung-soon show up, the two of them cracking up at the scene.

“Wait, let me grab my phone!” Himari runs to get her phone and snaps a photo of the five of us buried on my bed.

“Alright,” Kyung-soon sighs, a light in her eyes that I haven’t seen there before. “Let’s eat. We can’t be hangry when we meet our soulmates.”

It’s like she said the magic word, because soon enough my room is empty with only Himari left behind.

“Wow, they only wanted me for my bed. How rude,” I joke, earning a light laugh. “Are you ready for today?”

Himari smirks at me. “You know, I’ve had three years to prepare but somehow this morning I woke up feeling just as unprepared and giddy as I did three years ago. Isn’t that strange?”

She slings her arm around me and we make our way downstairs to the chaotic kitchen. “No, I get what you mean. I feel really chill right now, but it’s like I can feel the storm coming.” A couple of the other girls hear my comment and are quick to agree.

Seohyun lets out a shaky breath, the girl showing the first signs of nervousness. She says something that surprises me a bit, seeing how she’s always been the most vocal about her soulmate. “Well, I guess that no matter what happens today, everything will be alright. At the end of the day, we’ll still have each other.” She smiles at us as she takes a bite of her toast. “That’s more than enough for me.”

“Aw, so sentimental, Seohyunie.” Aera coos.

“Yeah, you’re not allowed to get us all emotional this early in the day.” Ichika says.

“It’s literally already the afternoon,” Seohyun fires back, her cheeks red.

“Well, bicker all you want, but I’m going to go get ready!” Minsuh has already devoured her breakfast, the excitement prominent on her face. I’m glad to see that her worries from the other night have subsided.

“Minsuh!” Himari shouts after the fleeing girl.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll pay for your meals for a month if you wear your pajamas to meet Jungkook!”

“Not a chance!”

↔

5 pm has come all too soon.

I fidget in my room as I take one last look in the full-length mirror. My hair falls around me in long curls; the time it took to perfect them definitely paid off. There’s a bit of rain falling, so I don my new trenchcoat in preparation for the cooler weather.

I smile at my reflection, amazed at the power a beautiful (but cozy) outfit has on my mood. My reflection portrays a young woman who looks like she’s ready to take on the world.

I only hope that confidence doesn’t abandon me.

It’s currently 4:45, the van should be here in 15 minutes. I take the moment of peace to close the door to my room and settle down on my bed, hesitating before picking a song to listen to.

I pluck up the courage and click on the song. “Forever Rain” from Namjoon’s playlist “Mono” plays, the light pitter patter of the rain from outside creating a surreal atmosphere.

Closing my eyes, I allow the song to wrap around me. Namjoon’s soothing voice both calms me and makes my heart race as I wonder for the fiftieth time today what he’s doing right now.

As the song comes to a close, I open my eyes and take a deep breath.

“I can do this.”

With the final boost of courage, I double check that I have everything I’ll need (which is really just myself, purse, and phone) and head downstairs. Kyung-soon is already down there, standing by the window in the living room as she cranes her neck to see if the van is coming. She looks beautiful, the simple sweater and jeans only bringing more attention to her delicate features. Her long black hair is lightly curled, and her berry-colored lips turn up in a nervous smile when I enter the room.

“You look amazing,” she says. “Seriously.”

“You do too, Soon-ah. Absolutely stunning. I’m glad that I’m not the only one who went with a more casual outfit. We’ll have to stick together.” I wink at her, and she laughs before turning back around to look out at the street.

Himari enters the room, the queen of casual style that she somehow manages to pull off like she’s at the red carpet. She carries a jacket in hand, prepared for the rainfall.

“Hey,” she greets me. “Looking good.”

“Right back at ya.” Himari stands beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. She’s unusually touchy today, no doubt due to the nerves. I don’t mind the extra contact, it helps to soothe my own nerves.

“Are the vans here yet?” Seohyun lights up the room in her yellow skirt, another queen of casual style. “Wow, you were right Himari. We do look amazing today.”

“We do, don’t we? No, no vans. They should be here any minute. Do you have everything?”

“Yeah, ready to go. I’ll go check that the others are ready.”

Soon enough Seohyun returns with Minsuh, Aera, and Ichika. All three look amazing, Aera’s professional background in design and fashion showing through as she is definitely the most well-dressed out of all of us. Minsuh looks adorable, her jean skirt making her look more youthful than me. Ichika reminds me of Taehyung, her layered top bringing out the artsy vibe she always has.

“Oh, oh!” Kyung-soon looks like it’s Christmas morning. “I think that’s the van, coming down the street!”

We all rush over to the window, honing in on the large black van that makes its way down to the apartment. It comes to a stop outside, and a man in a black suit and earpiece steps out.

“Wow, I feel like we just became famous,” Minsuh whispers.

“Alright, does everybody have everything?” I pipe up. The last thing we need is to forget something important. Everybody double checks, and by some miracle we’re ready. Just in time. A knock sounds on our door.

“You get it, Beth.” Himari nudges me.

“How did I know you’d say that?” I open the door, the bodyguard waiting for me outside with his umbrella up and ready to shield us from the rain.

“Hello everybody, Bang PD sent me. Are you ready to go?” I nod, my stomach doing flips. “Alright. I’ll escort you to the car, go ahead and step under my umbrella.” With my head in the clouds I step out, remembering at the last second to tell the other girls to lock the door behind them. I double check my purse, making sure I have the house key.

Before I know it all seven of us are packed into the van, and we’re off. Ichika sits on my left, holding my hand so tightly I think I’ll lose feeling in it before long. On my right is Kyung-soon, her arm looped through mine.

Our chauffeur is kind enough to play some music so we don’t drown in the heavy silence. None of us say much, each too lost in their own world to focus on a conversation. With each passing block my heart pounds faster and faster, and I fight against the tears that are pricking my eyes. I don’t want to cry. I can’t cry yet, but my inner whirlpool of emotions threatens to take over.

It’s already been a long day. And now, we’re just getting started.

What only feels like five minutes turns out to be thirty, because we’re suddenly pulling up to the BigHit building.

I manage to croak something out before we come to a complete stop, speaking for the first time the entire drive. “I’ll hold your purse while you go run laps, Kyung-soon.”

We laugh a bit, easing the tension. “How kind of you.” We begin to pile out of the van, and we’re escorted to a side door by the kind bodyguard. In a blur of movement we’re inside the building and led to an elevator. It’s only when we’re passing the fourth floor that I even realize that Ichika is still holding my hand.

“You alright?” I whisper to her, even though everyone can hear me in the small space of the elevator.

She looks at me, her eyes wide with anticipation and the anxiety that comes with it. “What was the code word for if we think we’re going to pass out?”

Aera’s voice pipes us from behind us, I can hear the grin in her voice. “It’s ‘holy cow’, isn’t it Beth?”

I can’t help but laugh, the ridiculousness of the entire situation making everything funnier. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Ichika squeezes my hand again. “Well, holy cow Beth. Holy cow is pretty much the only thing I’m thinking right now.”

“Are you telling me that you’re not even thinking about Taehyung?” I raise my eyebrows at her, the teasing making me feel better. Less likely to throw up, at least.

“Oh, shut up.” Ichika rolls her eyes, but the nerves seem to lessen a bit at the banter.

The doors slide open and the bodyguard ushers us out. “Alright, right there is Mr. Bang’s office. He should be inside waiting for you.” He points out a door just down the hall.

I make my way to the door on shaking legs, unsure of what to expect. Surely the boys aren’t inside the office, right? No, it’s way too small to fit all of us in there at the same time. That would just be cruel.

A quick glance over my shoulder shows everybody else trailing behind me. Himari gives me a thumbs up, prompting me onward. I level with a look that says ‘why must I do everything’ before I knock on the door.

A few seconds pass and then the door is swinging inward and Mr. Bang’s smiling face greets me.

“Well hello! I’ve been waiting for you all!” His eyes sweep over us, doing a mental count. “I’m glad you could make it. Come inside.”

The inside of Mr. Bang’s office is filled with photos, awards, and a leather couch with a few chairs. I all but collapse into one of the chairs while everybody else chooses their seats. Nobody speaks, but I notice them looking to me, Mr. Bang included. Clearly he’s waiting for my usual sarcastic remark.

“Well, here we are.” I say, struggling to even think straight enough to come up with a decent comment. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

Mr. Bang leans back in his chair, observing us. “Let’s get right down to it. There’s a lot we need to go over today, some can be done now with just the seven of you, the rest will have to be done with the boys.” My heart skips a beat at the mention of our soulmates. For some reason I’m surprised that we are actually going to meet them today. Maybe part of me simply expected a meeting with Mr. Bang. At least I didn’t buy a new outfit for nothing, right?

“Ok,” I nod slowly as though to clear the fog in my head. Right now I’ve got tunnel vision and I know I won’t be able to retain much information. “That’s fine. What do we need to know?”

“First off, are you all doing alright? Breathe. I can tell you that the boys are just as nervous as you are, so just breathe and try to relax. Today is meant to be enjoyed, and I promise that my staff and I have tried to make this day as calm and normal as can be.”

I almost laugh, wondering what part of normal includes a bodyguard and meeting the most famous band on the planet. I guess we’re playing by Bang PD’s rules now, though.

“The boys are nervous?” Minsuh pipes up, sheepishly looking down at her shoes.

Mr. Bang chuckles, nodding his head. “Extremely. I nearly had to give Jungkook a paper bag earlier because he was so close to hyperventilating.”

This merits a laugh and a sigh of relief from everyone, especially Minsuh as she blushes thinking about her soulmate.

“Anyways, I’ll try to get through this so you can meet the boys.” He now has everyone’s full attention. “I first wanted to thank you all for being so patient over the past three years. I know this hasn’t been easy, and you’ve had to sacrifice a lot of things. You’ve handled yourselves with grace and dignity. Even without the soulmate tests confirming your bonds with the boys, I would have been sure that you are meant to be simply by observing you over the years. I cannot thank you enough.”

He smiles at us, an adoring look in his eyes.

“Thank you,” Kyung-soon mutters.

“Now we’ve finally made it. It’s been a long journey, and this may seem sudden, but I believe that the timing is right. Today there will be a couple of doctors on hand who specialize in soulmate bonding, as these first meetings can be draining on both your emotions and energy. Don’t be afraid to ask for a breather if all of this is too overwhelming. There is no shame in that.”

My stomach turns to rocks hearing that. I’m reminded of my conversation just a couple of days ago with Aera. If meeting my soul sisters, who I’m not directly bonded to was so intense, what will this be like? Namjoon is only one person, whereas I have six soul sisters.

I voice my thoughts aloud. “I understand that this will be more...intense than it was meeting the girls. Will it really be that bad?”

Bang PD smiles at my question. “That bad or that good?” A blush creeps up my cheeks. “It will definitely be much more intense than your first meeting with the girls. Direct bonds are powerful. There is also the fact that you will be indirectly bonded with the other boys, like you were with the girls. Not quite as intense as the soul sister bond, but similar to it since they are your soulmate’s soul brothers.”

I exchange looks with Himari. This is news to us. It makes sense, and I’m happy about the fact that I’ll be gaining a lot of new friends today.

“Due to the fact you’ll be going through various levels of bonding today, we have taken precautions. You each will first meet your soulmates privately, and given sufficient time to bond and recover.” My stomach grows more and more uncertain as Mr. Bang explains the process. “After that, each individual couple will meet a different couple one at a time until you’ve all finished meeting. Like I said, doctors will be there to support you and we encourage you to take a break if you’re too exhausted. However, I’ve been told by the specialists that your soulmate will be the best support to you. So don’t be afraid to rely on each other. Understood?”

Mr. Bang smiles as us like he’s suggesting a place to grab lunch, not explaining the details of soulmate bonding. I give him a weak smile in return, a couple of the others grunting in acknowledgement.

“Wonderful.” Mr. Bang stands up from his seat, the simple action making my heart begin to pound again as I know that can only mean one thing. “Let’s get to it. I hope you don’t mind, but I discussed this with the boys earlier and asked them what order they would like to go in. Surprise, surprise: they’re going in order of age. That means that Jin and his soulmate will go first.”

I turn to look at Kyung-soon, who looks deathly pale. I wonder if the first thing she’ll say to Jin is a string of curse words for making her go first. Better first than last. Poor Minsuh will have to wait a long time for her turn, only making the nerves worse.

“Well, shall we?” Kyung-soon has gotten a hold of herself again, rising from the couch and smoothing out her sweater. “I’ve got to give my soulmate a piece of my mind for making me go first.”

Bang PD bursts out into laughter, having never seen the feistier side of the normally docile Kyung-soon. “Oh, I have a feeling the two of you will get along great.”

↔

I feel like I’m at the waiting room in the doctor’s office. Kyung-soon just entered a room at the end of the hallway, waving at us as her eyes lit up with that same light I noticed earlier today. I can only pray that I’ll be just as good at masking my nerves.

Seohyun paces in front of where we sit, awaiting her turn. We were told that we would each be given about 5 minutes of initial bonding before they would clear the room for the next pair. Apparently after the first five minutes the intensity starts to wear off, and then each couple is escorted to a recovery room on the same floor somewhere.

My blood is humming in my veins and I can practically feel Namjoon, wherever he is. Probably just on the other side of this floor. I fidget in my seat, desperate to just get it over with but dreading it at the same time. In my head “Forever Rain” is echoing, and I can’t tell if that’s helping or not.

5 minutes pass. Seohyun is waved over by a friendly looking doctor who pokes her head out the door.

“You’re Min Yoongi’s soulmate?” The doctor asks, her smile unwavering as Seohyun prances down the hall.

“I am, yes.” She waves at us. “See you on the other side!” I can hear the shaking in her voice, but she looks excited. We wave back, calling out words of encouragement.

Himari stands up, stretching. “Do I look alright?” She’s up next. Just a few more minutes before she disappears through that door.

I nod. “You look perfect. How are you feeling?”

“Like I could run a mile in 3 minutes flat but also like I might throw up at any second. You?”

“Pretty much the same. Not sure I could do 3 minutes though, maybe 4.”

Himari laughs, fiddling with her shirt and making sure it’s tucked in correctly. I stand up, helping her in the back where she can’t see.

“Everything will be perfect,” I reassure her, hoping that my smile looks the part. She sighs, wrapping me up in a hug. I’ve received a lot of those since I landed in Seoul.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Suddenly it’s been five minutes, although I have a sneaking suspicion it’s been less. Leave it to Seohyun to bond quicker and more efficiently than anyone else.

“Gotta go,” Himari salutes us as she makes her way to the door where the same doctor awaits her. I hear her voice as she confirms that she’s Jung Hoseok’s soulmate, but it sounds distant and quiet as the din in my head turns up to full volume.

5 minutes.

I remain where I was before, staring at the wall as I sway from one side to another. It’s so loud in my head, “Forever Rain” is on repeat and I swear my heart is trying to break out of my chest.

“...ok?”

I blink, looking at Aera who has concern written all over her face.

“Did you say something to me?”

“I just asked if you were going to be ok.”

I swallow heavily. “Y-yeah,” I manage to get out. “I’ll be fine. Just freaking out a little bit.”

“Ok,” Aera doesn’t look convinced.

“Do I look alright?” I fidget with my necklace.

“Bethany,” Aera’s voice cuts through all the noise in my head. “You are absolutely gorgeous. You’re also the most courageous, capable person I know. You can do this.”

I can do this. I think of Namjoon, so close by. We can do this.

“Bethany?” The door at the end of the hallway opens up, the doctor peeking outside.

I look back at Aera, and she offers me a thumbs up. Minsuh and Ichika smile up at me, words of encouragement spilling from their lips.

“That’s me.”

“Kim Namjoon is your soulmate, correct?” The doctor’s kind eyes are assessing me as I walk over on surprisingly steady legs.

“Yes,” I nod. My eyes focus on the doctor’s name tag as she gently ushers me inside the room. It says her name is Dr. Kim, which must be a good sign, right?

“Ok, Bethany. How are you feeling?”

I nod, the nervousness must be written all over my face so I don’t try to hide it. “I’m fine, I think. Just a little nervous.

Dr. Kim smiles at me. “That’s completely normal. If you need anything, I’ll be right here.”

I’m about to thank her when another voice interrupts my thoughts.

“Oh,” it comes out as a gasp, and my head feels like it’s swimming through concrete as I turn to look who it is. Even though I already know. I’ve heard that voice countless times.

Kim Namjoon is already looking at me by the time I drag my eyes to his face. I hardly register Dr. Kim’s nudge as I start moving forward, a male doctor on the other side of the room watching us intently.

Namjoon looks how I feel- struck by lightning. His eyes are alight with something akin to adoration and curiosity, and I can feel my heart skip a beat as I realize that look is for me.

He takes longer strides than me, but he stops just a step away from me. I take a moment to take in his appearance. The denim jeans he’s wearing nearly steal all of my attention before I manage to look up at his shirt, a simple white button down.

Perfect is the only word I can think of as I finally look back up at him. Once again, his eyes are already on mine and I jump at little at the sudden eye contact. His mouth opens, another little gasp leaving it.

His cheeks are flushed when he finally speaks.

“I-can I…” He stops, eyes drifting to his feet before looking back up at me again. “Can I just hug you?”

I nearly sob at his sweet question, and I silently step forward to press myself into my soulmate’s chest. He reacts immediately, his arms wrapping around me like a starving man. And it’s there, as my head nestles into his neck, that I feel the bond.

Namjoon holds me steady as what I imagine what lightning feels like courses through my body. With it comes a flurry of emotions, each one passing so quickly that I hardly have enough time to identify it before another comes. A pang of sadness hits me, and I can tell Namjoon feels it too because his already impossibly tight grip grows tighter. He rests his cheek on my head, and I nearly melt at the touch. With it the sadness fades, a calming balm coursing through us. Love, joy so tangible I nearly reach out to touch it, giddiness and trust wrap themselves around us.

By the time everything subsides, a single thread of the bond hangs invisible between us that I can almost tug it. I feel like I’m coming up for air after being submerged in water for too long.

We separate as a final shock hits us, both of us panting even as we wince at the loss of contact.

Dr. Kim and the male doctor make their way over to us, Dr. Kim attaching a blood pressure cuff to my arm before I even realize what’s going on. I notice the other doctor doing the same to Namjoon.

Namjoon sneaks a glance over at me, his cheeks still a deep red. My mind is still spinning and trying to understand what just happened. And the fact that I’m literally 5 feet away from my soulmate.

“Are you ok?” I flush as Namjoon asks me the question, Dr. Kim grinning up at me knowingly.

I nod. “Y-yeah. I think so. Are you?”

“Feeling great,” he responds even as he glares down at his blood pressure cuff. My eyes trail down to it too, before I decide against it as his bicep tends to make my giddiness grow. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.” He gives a sheepish grin, his dimple just showing up.

I return it, and his eyes drift down to my mouth. “I’m Bethany.” I chew on my lip for a second, my blush only growing stronger as I watch Namjoon force his eyes away from my mouth and red color his cheeks. Good to know I’m not the only one struggling. “You can call me Beth, though.”

Before we can continue our small talk, the cuffs are released. “Ok you two, feeling alright?” The male doctor asks us. We both nod. “Great. I know it’s intense and you might be feeling a little weak, but don’t be afraid to rely on each other. Namjoon, go ahead and hold Bethany’s hand while we take you to the recovery room. It will help to steady you both.”

Namjoon looks at me hesitantly, clearly embarrassed, but he slowly extends his hand out to me. So slowly that it looks like he’s trying to not scare away a skittish animal.

His hand engulfs my own, and the doctor was right. I feel much better already, more steady. Namjoon gives my hand a squeeze, looking down at me. I nearly swoon, a giggle escaping me at the situation.

“What are you laughing about?”

Hearing him speaking to me only makes me laugh again. “I just can’t believe how freaked out I was before.”

“Oh, me too.” My surprise must be evident at his confession. Was he really nervous too? “I don’t think I’ve slept for the past three days.”

We’re led out of the room to another room with a couch and some water and snacks. Just before the doctor leaves I remember to ask him something.

“Excuse me?” Namjoon grins at my politeness, not releasing my hand as he grabs water and offers it to me.

“Yes?”

“How long did we take?”

The doctor smiles. Everybody is smiling, me included. How could I not?

“Do you have a bet going on with the others or something? I hate to break it to you, but you guys are dead last. The bonding lasted six minutes.” My eyes widen. It certainly didn’t feel that long.

“How long did Seohyun take? She’s with Min Yoongi.”

“Oh, yeah, how long did they take? They were fast.” Namjoon mumbles by my side.

The doctor chuckles at us. “They only took 2 minutes and 42 seconds.” With that he leaves us alone in the room.

“Wow,” I whisper, sipping on my water. Namjoon still holds my hand, his fingers interlocked with mine. I try and fail to not let the small point of contact take over my senses. “I should have known Seohyun would be quick. She was by far the most prepared out of all of us.”

“And you were the least prepared.”

It isn’t a question, and I glare at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

Namjoon laughs as I yank my hand from his, feigning offense. I collapse on the couch and he follows after me.

“I watched the docufilm,” Namjoon explains, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. I groan, hiding behind my hands.

“Like, all of it? Everything over the past three years?”

He chuckles, growing more comfortable by the second. “Yep. Everything.” His dimple reappears and I admire him from behind my hands. “I’m just glad you didn’t go to Antarctica.”

I laugh, pointing at him accusingly. “So you were watching the Facetime a couple of nights ago!” Namjoon has the decency to look flustered. “How dare you?”

“We-I just-” he stutters, “Can you blame me?”

I assess him from where he sits a respectable distance away. I still hardly even know the man, but I already know I could never harbor a grudge. Not that he needs to know that right now. I get up, heading over to the snack table again before deciding on a bag of chips. Now I’m starving, after hardly being able to eat over the past couple of days. Namjoon sits in silence, awaiting my response. I almost laugh again at the whole situation, until I realize that we are very much alone in this room. I shake off the tension I feel, taking a deep breath to calm down.

“I was freaking out the entire call,” I admit, settling back down on the couch. “I kept thinking I could hear people in the background, but I thought that I must be going crazy. So I definitely blame you.” I open the bag, offering some to Namjoon. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of his smile. “Now tell me. What was your favorite part of the docufilm?”

Namjoon ponders for a second, the red coming back to his cheeks. I wonder what he’s thinking. He finally settles on something, his face going serious as he looks back at me. I find it hard to breathe beneath his gaze.

“My favorite episode,” I had no idea they broke the film up into episodes, “was when you got lost at the night market.”

He doesn’t crack his serious expression, and I get up and move as far away from him as possible, settling for a chair on the far side of the room. If he’s seen all the episodes, he must know how much the others make fun of me for that night. Evil man, I think even as I fight the grin on my face.

Nearly thirty minutes later Dr. Kim knocks on the door before entering, finding Namjoon mid-sentence about how I obviously tried to hide my face from the cameras most of the time and how the boys would make fun of him because of it.

We look up at her from the couch to see her looking pleased. (Namjoon dragged me back to sit by him about fifteen minutes ago when I was accusing him of making me wait for three years, the bold action making him obviously embarrassed. His excuse was that he felt like he had to yell at me from across the room, but I think there might have been more to it.)

“Looks like you two are doing well.” Dr. Kim observes, jotting something down on her clipboard. “Ready to meet the others?” I jump up from the couch, Namjoon observing me with an amused look in his eyes. It’s not everyday I get to meet all of BTS in one day.

“Let’s go!” It’s my turn to drag Namjoon, tugging him out the door. When we leave the room I go to remove my hand from his, the intensity of the bond having faded and my awkwardness has returned full-force. He doesn’t let me, though. Instead he intertwines his fingers through mine, refusing to look at me when I looked up at him with my eyebrows raised.

Following the sound of several voices from up ahead, my soulmate and I go to meet the rest of BTS.

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Get ready to meet the rest of the boys! It’ll be fun, I promise. Remember that the taglist is open for whoever wants to join, just let me know! Thanks guys!

@mae-musicbitch @taylorroe3 @heartblackerthancoffee

118 notes · View notes

radbutchboy · 5 years ago

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song title url tag game / rules: spell out your username using song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your url. tagged by @lavendarlad + @morpheuse 💖 ! tagging: @blessed-artemis @tehmaziraphale @bullydyke @spookyterf @radicalwolfie @transsexualbutch @mr-dyketective @gay-ass-top @violent-cisbian @twamsmahogany @black-metal-and-kitties @apple-pie-42 @apostle-of-sapphos

R - Ribs // Lorde

A - Absinthe // IDKHOW

D - Dead! // My Chemical Romance

I - I Know A Place // MUNA

C - Can't Take My Eyes Off You // Frankie Valli

A - Aftermath // Caravan Palace

L - Life Itself // Glass Animals

T - TALK ME DOWN // Troye Sivan

R - Reanimation // Lights & Motion

A - Adam's Song // Blink-182

N - No Friend // Paramore

N - Next Time / Humble Pie // The Internet

E - Ease My Mind // Ben Platt

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jinxthequeergirl · 5 years ago

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149 days & The Grieving Stage

Steve harrington x hopper!reader

Summary: things hurt but luckily you have people to help.

Song choice: Ease my mind by Ben platt

Warning: swearing/ angst

I also kinda wanted to make this a part of "unseen things" but I'm obviously probably not gonna work on that cause it sucked but enjoy this anyways

~~~~~

You and El both tumbled out of the car as quickly as you could and raced to your friends.

You where especially excited to see Steve again. He wrapped you in a hug and supn you around. "Hey dingus, don't hog her!" you grinned pulling away to met robin. "You've been keeping an eye on him?" you mumbled into her hair, you could feel her chuckle as he pulled you away holding you out at arms reach.

"There isn't really much to keep an eye on...you know he's crazy about you, plus he's awful at the flirting thing." You both laughed and could feel Steve come up beside you taking you from her grasp.

"Be careful steve, she's miss steal your girl." you joked leaning into him. He simply rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around you.

"Watch where you put your hands on my daughter, Harrington!" you both turned and spotted hopper pull up in his car.

"Holy shit..." you breathed you freed yourself from Steve's hold and watched el run towards him. Tears welled in your eyes as you watched them hug.

And from the back of your head you instantly remembered everything you where trying so hard to forget About that night. The overall fear and pain from that night, waiting in the ambulance with El and steve, waiting and hoping that by any sort of mirical it would be over and hopper and Joyce would make there way back to so everything would be normal.

But instead you got Joyce who gave you and your sister both a look from over wills shoulder that took all that hope and crushed it.

And now here he was. That stupid patterned shirt he insisted on calling "cutting edge", a huge smile, one you had to admit you hadn't seen in a while. And all you could do was stand there and stare at him. El pulled away looking back at you with the same excited grin and moved away a little making room for you.

And within an instatant you went racing towards him collapsing in his arms, so much so he stumbled a bit upon catching you in his arms before falling to your knees. You instantly felt your self sob into his shoulder murrmering things that you didn't even understand. You chocked out more tears as his hold on you tightened a little, finding hard to keep any sort of breath do your wheezing.

"Kid, kid, it's ok, everything is fine, deep breaths." You pulled your head from his shoulder and looked at him. He cupped your face in his hand rubing away tears with his thumb. "I...I...though...thought...thought You where...where..." you couldn't even mutter out the last sours before you coughed out another cry. He only nodded in response giving you a sympathetic look.

"I know...it's ok...it's all over now..." you wrapped your arms around him again. "Its all over...you can live life again." You nodded into his shoulder blinking away tears until you finally shut your eyes and relaxing in his hold.

You blinked your eyes again suddenly feeling the loss of warmth around you, you opened your eyes full taking in everthing around you and sighing lightly.

The moonlight filled your new room do to not owning any curtains yet. Or maybe Joyce had some and they hadn't been unpacked yet. Your bed was pushed up against one of the wall's with a small night stand that held a few things, a dresser was pushed against the opposite wall, really it wasn't much yet. You stared at the ceiling taking note of the glow in the dark stars the previous owner of the room had left.

Do to the moon light they wheren't doing much, but they still kept your mind off of what had just happened. Until finally they didn't and you broke.

You let a real sob wrack through your body and tears spill as you did your hardest to bite your lip and keep quiet making sure not to wake the other four members in the house.

You brought your fists to your eyes and held them there until explostions of color where the only thing you saw behind your eye lids, you could feel the mattress beneath you along with your cheeks and chin become soked as tears scilently continued to fall.

After what had felt like hours of tossing and turning in bed, crying off and on again. You finally sat up on the edge taking one of the two blankets on your bed and wrapping yourself up in it before crossing the room to the dresser.

Your eyes hurt and your feet where now cold from the wooden floor under you. You grabbed the phone from onto of it ignoring the picture frame you had purposefully facing down and sat in the little book in your window, you cracked it open inorder to obtain fresh air and started dialing the number.

You sat there for a few moments letting it ring, and ring, and ring, you stared out the window into the moonlit backyard.

Joyce told you when you moved in that maybe the three of you girls could go to the local garden center and pick out a few plants and stuff to start a garden back there.

You where suddenly yanked from the thought as a clearly exhausted voice filled your ear. "Hello?"

You took a shaky breath and turned from the window to look down at the phone cord. "Hey Harrington..." you finally breathed.

"Y/n? Are you ok? What happened?" you could hear the sleep in his voice vanish with every question along with the shuffle of bedsheets. "I..." you stopped to clear your throat. "I'm just holding you to that promise you made before we left...it's not to late is it?"

Before you moved steve made the promise that no matter the time, the issue, the want he would answer the phone and be there for you.

That was the same day you missed your chance to tell him you loved him. And that you had since God knows when. Instead you cried barrelly able to get a "I'll miss you." out.

You reached over to your night stand and grabbed the alarm clock to check the time in the light. 1:40.

You mentally cursed yourself as you set it back down and leaned back. "No not at all what's up?"

"Just...just a nightmare..." You combed a finger through your hair and sighed. "I'm sorry...was it about-"

"No it..it was different this time..."

He humme. "Care to talk about it?"

"I..it's late I just wanted a little comfo-"

"No, no, hey I'm up now so you have to tell me." you chuckled and took a breath.

"Y/n?" you licked your lips before answering. "I saw...him..."

"Who?"

"My...my dad." you croaked looking back out the window.

"Shit...y/n I'm so sorry...I..." he trailed off attempting to find the words to comfort you. You only laughed when you realised it. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing...nothing. Just you always where just the worst at these kinda things."

He gasped a little and you could only imagine him placing a hand over his heart dramatically. "Wow no matter how far away you still manage to hurt me y/n." You laughed again.

"It's times like these I wonder-"

"Why the hell I'm your friend?" you asked do ishing his scentence.

"Yea." he replied. Steve sat at the edge of his bed, phone tucked between his shoulder and ear all the while he held a photo he stole from your photo album.

His heart swelled a little just looking at it. You where happy, happier than you have been lately. And he looked at you in that picture with the same goofy grin he was wearing now.

"Steve?" he jumped at the voice instantly putting the photo down. "Did you fall asleep over there?"

He lied back down. "No...not at all...I wouldn't dream of it."

You smiled softly. "How are the kids?...and robin?.." you asked.

"The little shit's are fine...they miss the three of you a hell of a lot, speaking of which you should be gettinging something in the mail soon."

"Oh?"

"Yea...you've been gone a month and we decided to wip something up for you guys."

"What is it? You asked curiously."

"Can't say...don't wanna spoil the surprise."

"Right I forgot Mr. Steve "the surprise king" Harrington."

He rolled his eyes but mustered a smile. "Whatever."

There was a beat of scilents Before you spoke again. "I miss you Steve..."

"Hey, I miss you too....but you'll be here for Christmas soon enough."

"Steve that's so long..."

"No...149 days to be exact...it'll fly by and before you know it you'll be back in Hawkins."

"You've been counting?"

"Of course I have." you hummed and again went quiet for a moment.

"Listen there's something...something I've been meaning to tell you.."

"Oh yea?" you opened your mouth but the words refused to come out.

How difficult was it to just say it? Why no matter what the words never fully formed on your tounge. You sighed. "You know what never mind...it can wait.."

"How long?" he asked clearly anxious. "149 days to be exact...it's better if i tell you then."

"Oh c'mon at least give me a hint?" You shook your head with a smile. "No...I wouldn't wanna spoil the surprise." you joked. He laughed making your heart jump." just swear to not find someone to replace me within that time frame."

"I swear. No one would even come close to you." You smiled softly. "Uh listen thanks for taking my mind off of things....you should probably get some sleep....I promise to call in the morning if anything happens."

"Just call no matter what."

"Ok...goodnight shit head."

"Night loser."

You hung up the phone and sat there for a while. Letting things pan over in your head.

Your mind was finally off of your dad for a little bit. And you though about how you said you would tell him at Christmas and wondered of you even meant that, you wondered if he really meant the last thing he said about not finding anyone else.

"Knock knock..." you looked over to your door and found Joyce peeking in.

"Hey...what are you doing up?" you asked turning so your feet touched the cold floor.

"I could ask you the same...another nightmare?"

"Yea...something like that.." she let her self in shutting the door and leaned against the dresser. "How do you not...not have nightmares?...I mean you where right there..."

"Well I never said I didn't..." She said picking up the picture frame and looking at it.

"How do you keep it together then?"

She glanced at you but kept her eyes on the picture for a moment. "Someone's gotta be strong for You kids..." she took the picture and made her way over to you sitting down.

"You don't have to be all the time."

She nodded. "I know...but life had been so rough on you guys already...it helps." You leaned your head on her shoulder and looked at the picture frame in her hands.

"I don't remember these." she said looking at it with you. In the frame was a photo of you do and your dad, tucked outside of it was a picture of you Steve and robin.

You smiled pointing to the one of you and hopper. "The night me and el went to the snow ball...I told him it was an important night for all of us and we had to remember it. He fought me on it but eventually gave in."

She smiled.

"What about this?"

"That was the day we moved...johnathan wanted to make sure I had something good to remember them both by...I miss them all so..so much..." you mumbled.

"I know..."

"Will it ever...not hurt?" you asked sniffiling.

"No...not Right away...just give it a little time..." she placed the picture frame on the bed stand.

"I think you should get some sleep...sleep in extra long if you need."

She kissed your forhead before you got up and walked over to your bed. "Y/n..." you and Joyce both looked up and saw El come in with puffy red eyes that matched your own. You opened your blankets and she quickly made her way over and fell into bed next to you.

"Hey it's ok...it was just a dream..." you kissed her head and Joyce quietly left the room letting you two get some sleep.

#stranger things x reader #steve harrington x reader

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chrsuwu · 6 years ago

Text

bad habit (chris x reader)

singer!chris x actress!reader

summary: to the world, he was chan, but to you he was chris. the real chris.

a/n: this was inspired by the title track on ben platt’s album bad habit!! i HIGHLY suggest you listen to it (or don’t lol) there will be mentions of it in the story

words: 1,600

warnings: ANGST, fluff uwu

why did they have to cast you with him. not that you couldn’t back out of this opportunity now, but getting to star in a romance drama with one of the biggest artists at the moment would be amazing for your career, especially since it would be your big break in dramatic acting. you previously starred in a family friendly sit-com, where you played the main character, but the show recently came to an end because many of your castmates wanted to move on. you loved being the star in the sit-com, but you wanted to do something more mature, and starring in a drama was the perfect chance.

unfortunately, you were told you will be partnered with some sort of big name celebrities, which would be great, if you didn’t previously date you. to the world, he was chan, but to you he was chris. the real chris. the same chris who let you down time to time, when all you wanted was to love him. love is a strong word, and you hate to admit that at one point you did love the now bleach blonde haired man.you two ended on a bad note. the bad note wasn’t the break up, but rather after the breakup, he constantly leaned on you, as a back up plan. like he’d come and go out of your life, when he needed someone he’d come to you, but as soon as he got what he wanted, he left. you got sick of it, so you and him got into an argument, which ended with you sobbing in your bathroom, with him on the other side, hearing your cries.

over the past year you two haven’t spoken, partially because the ratings in your sit-com went up, and his music career took off, but mostly because of the argument. now you’re on your couch, sitting with your script for the first episode of the drama. you tried to ease your mind of the thoughts and just get into the role when your manager called you. “hello?” you asked, answering the phone.

“hey there’s my rising star!! the director wants to have dinner with you and chan at his apartment tonight, you down?” she asked. you thought about it for a bit. you didn’t really want to see chris, but you did want to give your best impression to the director. you decided to put hard feelings a side, and girl up to meet the director.

“sure,” you replied.

“great! i’ll tell him you’ll be there tonight, it’s at 6, so be ready at 5:30, okay?” your manager said.

“okay, got it,” you responded.

“okay bye bye now!” she ended. you began to sigh, but ended as a gasp when you saw the time was 15 to 5. you quickly got up and got ready.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ii

“i’m so glad you agreed to meet up chan will be here any minute,” the director said to you as you sat on the table in the dining area.

“great!” you replied fakely. you brushed on your dress as you looked at your phone.

“i don’t know if anyone told you, but chan actually wrote and sang an ost for the drama,” the director said, attempting to strike a conversation with you. you smiled.

“no i didn’t, i’m sure it’s great,” you said.

“he said he’s gonna have us take a listen to it tonight,” the director added. you nodded, then suddenly a knock was heard at the door. “that must be him,” he said, getting up to answer the door. you peaked over to see your ex. he shook hands with the director, and briefly made eye contact with your figure at the table. the two struck up basic conversation as the director motioned chris to the table. “chan this is y/n, y/n-”

“actually, mr. kim, we’ve met before,” chris said interrupting the man. the director looked at you.

“ms. y/n never told me of this,” he added, in a slightly betrayed voice.

“we used to be a thing, actually,” you told him.

��for a year to be exact-”

“and it’s been a year since we broke things off, no worries mr. kim,” you added, cutting chris off from adding anything else from your relationship into the conversation. the director smiled.

“anyways, chan you said you brought the demo for bad habit?” mr. kim asked the curly haired man. chris smiled brightly, rushing a bunch of memories back in your mind.

“yes, i hope you like it, it’s just the chorus since the verses are still in the works,” chris said. he brought out his phone, and loaded up an audio file.

bad habit, i know but i'm needin' you right now can you help me out? can i lean on you? been one of those days sun don't wanna come out can you help me out? can i lean on you?

the audio stopped, and chris looked up. “so?” he asked. you hesitated to react. chris’ talent was no secret. you suddenly remembered the moments he’d sing you to sleep softly, or when he’d hum ed sheeran while driving. you remembered gently falling asleep in the studio as chris worked on another song. remember him writing lyrics about you in a coffee shop at 3 in the morning when you both couldn’t sleep. you suddenly couldn’t remember why the two of you broke up, he just suddenly grew distant, and then he left, but once things got hard, he’d comeback. you began spacing out when the familiar man called you out of your thoughts. “y/n?” he asked. you shook your thoughts.

“hm? sorry i spaced out for second,” you replied to chris.

“what did you think?” mr. kim asked.

“oh, it was- uh, good,” you answered. chris looked at you slightly dissatisfied.

“i think it fits perfectly for the plot, amazing chan, really,” mr. kim encouraged chris. chris grinned and nodded.

“thank you sir,” he replied.

that’s basically how the rest of the night went, you didn’t talk much, but you got lost in thought often. you spent so much time dwelling on the short, bad things about chris, you forgot about the sweet, and attractive things about him. that’s when it hit you. you still loved chris, and maybe you always did. you spent all this time hating him to distract yourself, and here you sat, in front of the man who broke you so many times, but you still constantly yearned for. you felt your eyes brim. you stood up and spoke sharply, “i’m going to use the restroom excuse me,”. you left the room, assuming you’d find the bathroom, finding it just down the hall, and locking yourself in. you cried softly this time, not wanting the two men in the other room to notice your suddenly burst of emotion. you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. you hadn’t cried this much since you ended it with chris. a sudden knock interrupted your soft cries. “y/n, are you okay?” chris asked. you suddenly straightened up, wiping your tears. you decided you’d tell them you felt sick and you’d go home. you opened the door, and met eyes with chris.

“i don’t feel right, i think i’m gonna go home,” you said, speed walking out of the apartment as quickly as you could.

as you walked to your car, you didn’t notice chris following you. you walked to your car, when chris stopped and grabbed your wrist. you looked back, wiping another tear. “what’s wrong?” he asked.

“nothing, nothing i just need to go,” you replied.

“i don’t buy it,” he said.

“well, i guess you’ll just have to not buy it then,” you said.

“y/n, seriously, talk to me,” chris begged.

“why so you can leave me again?” you faltered. chris froze. not quite sure how to reply to you. you scoffed, “just forget it, i’m leaving-”

“wait!” he called. you looked at him and sniffled. “y/n, i need to be honest with you,” he admitted. you furrowed your brows.

“what?” you asked.

“y/n i accepted the offer to act in this because i knew you were casted as my love interest,” he stated. you hesitated.

“why?” you asked. chris chuckled.

“you still don’t get it.” he said, “y/n, it’s a bad habit of mine, but i need you right now.”. he restated lyrics. it clicked. the song was about you. “y/n, i love you. i loved you a year ago, when we broke things off, i loved you when i first met you a year before then, and i love you now. as i stand in this parking lot, i want you to know. i love you y/n.” chris announced. you didn’t know how to respond. chris slowly got disappointed. “i-i’m sorry i shouldn’t have said it,” he said quietly, before he let go of your wrist.

“how do i know,” you started quietly.

“what?” he asked.

“how i do i know you won’t leave me again chris. how do i know you won’t suddenly decide you don’t want to be in my life anymore, and leave me,” you appealed. chris looked down sadly. he looked back up at you.

“i only left you because, i didn’t want to fall too deep. i hated how attached i felt to you, even now, i’m still attached.” he answered. you suddenly met his gaze.

“chris,” you began, “i- i love you too. i tried so hard to get rid of you, but it never worked.”. you looked down in embarrassment, when chris suddenly covered you in an embrace.

“i love you, y/n,” he restated.

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a/n: i don’t really care for the ending, i may rewrite this in the future but yeah!!

#chris bang #chris bang stray kids #stray kids scenarios #straykids #stray kids #bang chan #chan #chan scenarios #stray kids chan #stray kids au #stray kids fanfiction #bang chan scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios

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