#you know the oc posting is good when u start getting teary eyed akdkfkfgkgkhkhj

[thedeafprophet]

yea, i think it both colours his relationship to judaism but i think it was always like that from that start. there's an inherent aspect of loss in all of it to me, time and time again, and this is simply Alex's version of it. From his own loss of connection, to his mothers choice and death, to the family he never knew who had to flee eastern europe, its this sort of inherent connection that falls down onto to him. but i think, with path of grief, of mourning someone who had no one else left to mourn him, it gives way for these feelings. it allows Alex, for the first time, to truly feel and process grief, and in that he is not just mourning the silverer, but his mother, and what was lost too. the first time he ever truly had a process and the tools to know what to do; the first time he truly grasped that this loss of history was something he felt

I don't talk a whole lot publically about the depths of Alexs relation to his Jewish background, in part because its complicated, in part because it's admitly quite personal

but he's va complicated case of someone who was always somewhat Aware he had this connection, but both never had the access to explore, was activly cut off from, and was faced in a society that really didn't want him to be. alongside so often just being in a pure matter of survival it just..wasn't an option.

that's why it's prominent, him now as an adult, wanting to learn about his mother's heritage and working backwards for that connection. hes certainly never going to believe in any sort of higher power, doesn't think he's capable of that, but...there's an importance to him, in it all.