#you know its bad if you're drawing blorbo at work

[softnspiky]

Don't f- for him

I am so down bad

[utilitycaster]

1. My biggest isssue (as a POC) is when is a character POC or otherized? Do we use IRL or in world? Beau is Human, brown woman. At no point in C2 is the fact that she is brown comes up other than discriptions. Her humaness is what matters especially in the COB. She is treated the same aa Caleb. Fjord, Nott and Molly havs far more in text displays of racism towards them. Ppl dismiss jester as being "white" but insist dorian is poc. When in world they are the same colour.

2. And teiflings would be more discriminated against. I know robbie is poc and dorian is blue but hes a genasi. In the world of exandria i view him and ashton as the same race. So i see these weird arguments online and its always a cross steam trying to use both in world races and irl to prove a point. Since i am examining the world of exandria i use the races displayed there and no attention to what the people look like irl. Also it avoids unintentional sterotyping down the road

3. An example ppl drawing drow and ashton with black racial features (my own) and then someone else complaing that the fandom made the asshole and the would be villian into black men. This fanon has unintended consequences once the story is fully fleshed out. Saying Orym is non white (despite Liams art direction) is bad because people to this day are mad Marisha made beau dark. It cant be both way. This way ppl can headcanon stuff so they dont have 2 go looking for other ips for representation.

----

So this is a really good point and I am, as said, an ethnic/religious minority but not a racial one and so this is how I tend to interpret this stuff in fantasy works, especially ones that have multiple species (humans, elves, etc) as it's not limited to Critical Role (ie, happens in Dragon Age too), which I think is what you're saying here but feel free to let me know if I'm wrong:

There's "is this character treated, in-world, as racialized" (which is often more contextual in a lot of fictional works in a way it is not IRL due to patterns of colonialism in our world, which is a long conversation I'm probably not equipped to articulate well, but just as an example, Fjord is racialized as a half-orc on the Menagerie Coast, but half-orcs in Yios, for example would have a very different experience). In other words, do people within the work of fiction discriminate against them on the basis of race? Anyway, as you said, Fjord, Molly, Jester, and Veth in her goblin form are treated as The Other; Fjord (and Molly, though his memory is only a few years long) grew up with this experience whereas Jester and Veth grew up, for different reasons, sheltered from or unaffected by that discrimination. Beau didn't experience racism in-world, nor did Veth in her halfling form, despite both of them being visibly nonwhite. For a Dragon Age example, Bellara, Davrin, and Antoine grew up with racism as elves, but Neve did not (and indeed comments on using her privilege as a human mage among human mages) despite being visibly nonwhite (and despite Antoine being white).

There's then "is this character treated out of world as racialized", or in other words, do fans treat them as nonwhite. This is also complicated, and this is something I can speak to as Jewish people who are not also POC experience 'conditional whiteness', ie, when right-wing people want to hate Jews we are the nonwhite infiltrator and when left-wing (and often themselves white) people want to hate them they are the white oppressor. So racist fans will hate characters who are nonwhite (like Beau) and fans trying to prove their blorbo cannot be criticized on the basis of oppression. In this case, Beau and Veth are nonwhite; Fjord and Jester often vary depending on what argument the person wants to make; Molly, as opposed to Jester, is almost NEVER drawn with nonwhite features (which frankly says a LOT of unflattering things about the white queer centering, now that I think about it); etc.

And then there's "is the actor/creator racialized in real life," ie, Robbie, Aabria, Anjali, Utkarsh, Aimee, Christian, Mica, Khary, etc are all POC and the main cast are not. Most of their characters are nonwhite, but few are racialized - Shakaste, Deanna, Bor'Dor, Opal, Deni$e, and Reani do not experience racism within this setting. Genasi (as played by Anjali, Robbie, and Taliesin) are a complicated case of being tokenized/model minority within the Empire, and the Silken Squall being inspired by native culture but their role within the world only slightly touched upon such that it's hard to draw a definitive conclusion.

And, since I referenced it in the tags elsewhere, for an NPC case: Essek is racialized by the people of the Empire (as a drow) along with the rest of the Dynasty; he is not racialized within the Dynasty and is indeed in a privileged position there; and whether or not he's treated as nonwhite by the fandom depends on whether someone wants to hate on him or defend him on the basis of identity. He is an NPC, and Matt's white, but in theory could be controlled by a nonwhite GM such as Aabria, or a nonwhite player in the way that Robbie played Cerkonos.

Anyway: completely agree that a lot of people do this in the end so that they don't have to seek out like, Desiquest or Rivals of Waterdeep or Into the Motherlands or other APs run by actual real nonwhite people either because of parasocial connections to the cast, the fact that CR has a larger fandom and they want the attention, or the fact that often they are here for white queer characters and bring in nonwhite characters (and headcanons of white characters) as some kind of armor against criticism.

I think in terms of character interpretation you do need to consider both in-world (Fjord is textually treated as the racial other to the point of self-harming to fit in; you cannot treat him as The Racial Majority in the world without being noncanonical) and out-of-world (irl people are racist towards Beau) but yeah a lot of people really want to have it both ways.

This happens a lot with queerness too - one of the big backlashes I experienced during this campaign is when I pointed out that Exandria is not, in fact, a setting with systemic homophobia and Imogen's experience of being othered in Gelvaan is an extremely bad metaphor for queerness given that she can read people's minds and almost killed two people, but it is true that people irl may be homophobic towards Imogen as a character. But again, you need to be consistent in those arguments - if you are talking about in-world racism or homophobia, you cannot bring up Imogen or Beau, who do not experience these things. If you are talking about fandom racism, you can bring up Beau. And if your issue is racism and representation in the real world, you can and should push back on (for example) people being racist towards Utkarsh for daring to exist and not know every rule of D&D when Emily Axford is onscreen but also we are watching a show of 8 white people when there are other actual plays with a more diverse cast. And yeah, fanon isn't canon and if the character is only nonwhite in your mind, it is not racist of people to disagree or to not vibe with them and it's also worth checking, if you are headcanoning someone with an identity you do not personally have, to see if you're falling into harmful stereotypes. Why are you headcanoning Orym, a character who doesn't experience in-world discrimination, played by a white man, as nonwhite, instead of seeking out works with textually nonwhite or racialized characters? And why are you incapable of accepting that sometimes you'll like a character who is not on every single axis of oppression and it's like, fine, provided you work against oppression in your real world life? If your faves are always white or always men (or, frankly, always demographically like you) then maybe take a look at yourself and who you are capable of relating to, but if you have a mixture of diverse favorite characters it's fine if not every one of them checks every single box.

[thana-topsy]

Ok I gotta come out and say it. I envy you. Like, to a painful extent. The amount of people you get interested in your characters, how you're incredibly skilled in both visual art AND writing, how readers your fics have. I absolutely adore your work, but seeing it fills me with so much envy it's honestly ridiculous.

Did you deal with similar feelings towards other creators when you started writing fic by any chance? If so, how did you deal with those feelings? I feel genuinely stuck feeling worthless about my fics. I'm not as verbose with my language despite over 10 years of writing under my belt and it seems as though my plots don't interest people as much either. So I feel like there's just nothing of worth about any of my work.

I know that this is a lot to dump on you, but I felt like I would burst keeping this all in. Much love to you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Hey there my friend, I've been sitting with this all day trying to decide how I want to answer you. I genuinely appreciate your honesty, because I know this is a familiar feeling for a lot of people, myself included.

I remember when I first rejoined Tumblr in early 2019, desperately trying to find anyone to talk to about TES, I would look at all these blogs gettings asks about their OCs like they were little celebrities and feel envy and longing. Now, when these feelings start to bubble up, I force myself to take a break from sharing my work, be it art or writing, if only to remind myself why I'm creating it and who I'm creating it for: myself. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably sound like a broken record, but genuinely I just do this because it's bursting out of my skull. But I won't lie and say the engagement and the support doesn't have a big impact on my motivation. I love sharing with people and getting an enthusiastic response.

I think something people might not realize, or maybe they just forget, is that I used to write a lot of smut. Like...a lot of smut. (I still do). Hahaha and it doesn't get a lot of comments or engagement, but it does draw a lot of eyes. Once my smut stories started taking on heavier plotlines, a comment I'd get a lot was "came for the porn, stayed for the plot." And I wasn't writing smut because I thought it would get me an audience, I was just horny LMAO. But it encouraged me to branch out and experiment with the types of stories I was telling.

Anyways, art is another big part of it, yes. But that also didn't get a lot of engagement in the beginning, and my skills were rusty as hell. I was getting maybe 15 notes on here, 30 likes on instagram. But that didn't really matter to me, I was just insane with inspiration. I'd reach out to people and ask to do art trades, got ghosted a lot, made some good friends, (some people who are still my good friends to this day!). But it took a lot of risks, and I made a lot of accidental enemies and learned a lot of hard lessons. But having visuals to go with the stories I'm writing is like advertisement in its own way. I'm just lucky enough to hyperfixate on this shit like it's my lifeblood. I've always obsessively drawn my favorite characters, ever since I was a wee bab. Long before social media was a factor or the words "content creator" even existed.

And I think that's what it all comes back to. Above all else, do what you do with unbridled joy. If someone else finds joy alongside you, all the better! Even if it's just one person. Take risks, make friends, make enemies, draw that blorbo unapologetically and with wild abandon. Love what you create, even when it's bad. Even when it makes you cringe years later, don't delete it. Even when people try to find every reason to hate what you do and who you are. Don't stop.

Every act of creation is bringing something into the world that didn't exist before you made it. And that alone gives it worth.

Happy New Year!

[spookberry]

Watching your work recently has been so inspiring. I had a rough few semesters of art school, and while I enjoyed the classes, I was mildly disillusioned by an insistence on what felt like "meaningful" art...

A lot can be meaningful! After being online a bit more, around artists like you who clearly love what you're doing and make art you're passionate about, it kinda made me realize that I'm free! I can make what I want, whatever it is! Art that has historically and occasionally been deemed lesser (e.g. fanart) is not actually so, and art can mean a lot even if it isn't in fancy galleries or art books.

Anyway, what I mean to say is: you're inspiring, and talented. I really love your art for what it is and what it represents to me. I love seeing what you make, and it helps bolster me to make my own art as wild as I want!

This is one of the sweetest asks I've ever gotten and it's really made my, like, year lol.

This is the reason I post fanart!! Other artists represented the same for me when I was younger and it made want to participate and join in and I'm glad I did! I've met some cool people and I've had really interesting conversations and experiences via fandom... even if I can be a bit of a lurker at times haha.

Art School's rough, I definitely have felt similarly. A big problem is that a lot of professors tend to be hyperfocused on their own field and what makes art meaningful To Them. (the amount of times I've walked out of a class grumbling cuz a LA prof only wanted to talk about white box gallery work and didn't even know we HAD an animation department...) Which isn't always bad if you gel with the right ones, but other times it can definitely put a dampener on your work. A good way to look at art sometimes I think is that what's "meaningful" about it can be the smallest stupidest reason ever. And you just gotta stand by that, even if other people think it's lame. Sometimes the meaning was in making it, or getting to share it, sometimes the meaning is drawing your favorite blorbo in a white void because it gave you an outlet and makes you happy. That's meaningful, you just gotta know how to argue for that meaning sometimes. (profs LOVE a good bullshitter)

Turning in things for a grade rather than because you enjoy it is never going to be the best format for art regardless of what kind of art you're making. I've found the more I stuck it out the more things I actually enjoyed became available to me and now I'm kinda (not fully tho, im SO glad to be graduating fyi) regretting all the classes I never got the chance to take. You just gotta take it one day at a time and remember that art school should be there as a place to practice and better both your work and your own understanding of the work you make which can feel tedious and unnecessary at times but its worth it in the end(in my experience).

In the end you're the one paying for it and if you're not getting what you want out of it, it's best to look for other avenues, I did! I'm not graduating from the college I started at and I'm honestly really thankful for that.

Anyways, sorry for rambling lol, and thank you for you kind words. I wish you the best anon, you hang in there!

[sibyl-of-space]

[this will be rambly because i am writing a post to figure out what i want to say instead of going to bed]

I keep thinking about the nature of the specific project I have undertaken with Amadeus. It's incredibly personal, it's incredibly ambitious in scope, and it's incredibly focused on music in its themes. Which means that even writing wholly unrelated music to it somehow comes back around to being "about" it.

Because when the main character is Self-Projection Blorbo Extraordinnaire, and he is a composer and a musician, it becomes impossible to separate any music I write from this story. Because he is the part of me that writes music. Hell, even after Amadeus is finished I am probably still going to associate the part of me that writes music with him for, like... ever.

This isn't a bad thing. I think it's actually cool. It's neither good nor bad, it's just an observation. But I wrote my procrastination fugue because I was like "I WANT TO WRITE A FUGUE" and just kind of did literally nothing else for 3 straight days, and it had absolutely nothing to do with Amadeus, and yet at the end of it I realize it had everything to do with Amadeus. I already consider the other fugues I've written to be songs he might have written. I have already considered the worldbuilding ramifications re: the kinds of harmony contained in these fugues and what I know about specific niches in Western music history.

And when I was working on this one, I realized that I'd written a fugue that you literally can't play as one person on the piano. This was because I am not a pianist and I don't "think" like a pianist when I write, but if I consider this a fugue that was written by him, what does that mean? He IS a pianist. He ought to have written a fugue that he could actually play.

I think two people could play it on a single piano. So did he play it with someone else? Did he write it for someone in particular? Did they ever play it together?

I... I actually have some tentative answers to these questions. But these questions only came up because I wrote something for myself, for fun, and then a connection to this project emerged completely organically, and that led me in interesting directions.

This doesn't really have a point. There is no rule anywhere that says Amadeus has to have written this fugue. But it feels like he ought to have written it, and what's more, considering that he did has made me think more about the story in a way that is continuing to bring it more life.

There are many downsides to undertaking One Big Huge Project like Amadeus. Scope creep is inevitable; major milestones are incredibly difficult to get to; maintaining focus and motivation for literal years on end is an uphill battle; the chances of finishing are significantly smaller than for reasonably-scoped projects.

But there are just as many upsides I think. I keep trying to notice them because they're important for motivation.

I can do things like the anime-ass OP that would not be worth it for smaller projects. When it's done - and I will finish it - it will absolutely fucking slap to heaven. And now, I've also realized, the fact it's so huge and personal means that just kind of living my life I am adding to it. Writing a fugue has added to it. That fugue will probably end up in the game at some point. It wasn't written for that purpose, but because it was written for me and the game is (more than anything else) about me, it'll end up being part of the game anyway.

It's made it easier for me to accept those weeks/months when I just cannot focus on the game itself and feel bad about it. Because since I've decided to make the Big Huge Personal Project, it turns out that just living is still working on the project in a way. It's the kind of project I can draw from literally everything I do because it's a story that was lab-engineered to be About the things that I care about.

you're still not allowed to psychoanalyze me when you play it though btw.

[avianurges]

how do I start drawinggggggg

(and get better at it)

if you want a for realsies answer i'll tell you how i personally think i got good

i fixated on it

i watched youtube tutorials and speedpaints every day for like two years before i even started drawing myself, so i felt like i already had a very rough idea of what i wanted to do without really knowing it. your eyes level up before your hands do so putting in practice watching and Internalizing what you're looking is learning too! (i always enjoyed watching the process it just occurred late to me that i too could lmfao, DO the process too)

draw what you're fixated on. got a blorbo? learn anatomy while trying to figure out how to translate them into ur style. like a certain style? try to learn and break down What about it you like and learn that. dont like drawing people? learn landscapes and backgrounds by trying to make pieces that could fit into the world or smth. etc etc use your hobbies and interests as your tools

you'll get better as long as you're happy doing it. don't think about criticism or opinions more than your own when it comes to your own work. you could be the best artist in the world and people would still find a way to hate on your work, so why pay it mind. You get good by being delusional levels of confident because that confidence is what spurs you to do more and keep going and therefore keep practicing.

when your eyes level up again, you'll have that feeling of 'ew omg look at my old work i was so bad how didnt i see it :/', that is actually good. because thats progress! so don't feel discouraged by it and work through it :>

use what brings you joy to help you learn. if there's only one take away here its really just that lol

[creativesplat]

Alfred for the Character Opinion bingo? (I love your Alfred art btw!! You are so correct about him I think we should be friends)

OH MY WORD THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!! JFJSKYWK I WOULD LOVE TO BE FRIENDS! (I am very bad at replying to messages tho so… yeah…) anyway! For the bingo: 

They are so cool looking:

His design sort of mirroring dimitiri's and having such beautiful floral vibes and flouncy clothes is just so good. I love the fact he's quite a slender character because it gives an odd sort of dis-congruence with his gym-bro vibe, and that adds a layer of mystery that we don't see uncovered until Celine's A support with him. It's such subtle story telling in the design but it's so brilliant. You wouldn't see it unless you knew the spoiler, but once you know it it's so obvious and such a good bit of character design.

His somniel outfit is also a banger. Orange roses signify enthusiasm, encouragement, desire, and energy, which is just so perfect for Alfred. And he also has flower crown hoops on his belt - SO perfect, someone's sad? gift them a flower crown. You're bored? make a flower crown. You need to fiddle to make yourself concentrate? flower crown! its such a small detail but I love it so so much.

No real reason to put this in other than the fact I love it, and the yellow and peaches and blues and greens really shouldn't work but they really do. It is fab.

Another detail I love is that in his upgraded outfit in avenir he gets a crown very similar to his mother's (with the tiara shape in the middle) and with white windflowers on them. The gift Lumera used to give him for his birthday (Alfred and Vander supports) and symbolising protection against illness and recovery. White windflowers are subtly hinting at his character arc and what he deals with in his story (illness, death, protection all being meanings), and pair that with his class name Avenir (French, meaning future or time to come) it's just a really good reflection of his anxieties around chronic and probably terminal illness, but also of his hope for the future and his role as a protector for Alear ("I will be your sword and your shield divine one, and a flower, what could bring more comfort than that?")

If they were real I would marry them:

I mean, kind, loyal, adorable, sweet, loving, not to mention handsome. Honestly there are very few characters I adore that I could say: 'yeah, why not?' to that question, but Alfred is one of them. His good vibes and uncomplicated golden retriever joy just scream husband material. Plus he's religious in game - one of the most religious out of all the characters, which I didn't realise until I looked at his preferred gifts - and as a Christian, having a religious partner is like one of the most important things on the list of requirements for a good match for me.

In all seriousness tho, if he were real, he would be good husband material, but not really my type, so I'm just going on hypothetical how many of the boxes does he tick. lol

they're like a blorbo to me:

I mean... if it wasn't already obvious with the long list of details I gave about his clothing, and all the drawing I do of him... he is very blorbo. Honestly I love him so much. He is a perfect little guy.

not as deep as they seem (1/2):

I shaded this in half, because next to other fire emblem characters he's not really that complex or deep (cough cough dimitri and three houses in general cough cough) and he's very uncomplicated in terms of emotion. He's normally joyful and happy. He's normally protective, and trusting. Honestly uncomplicated puppy vibes.

But at the same time, he does also have that element of deepness (hence the 1/2 box). He isn't always honest about his feelings, because he wants to put others above himself and make sure they see him as a happy guy they can lean on (the Celine A support has quite a lot of this, but so do others). He is a golden retriever boi, but he also hides his illness from his friends and pretends that everything's fine - even to his sister and mother - until he openly has an attack in front of Celine.

He's not as deep as other characters are, and with the exception of feeling guilt and shame over his chronic illness, is a fairly happy and uncomplicated guy.

Why do they look like that:

Purely because I would have loved to see him have a Celine's green colour scheme, I'm putting this there. Also because his feh art does him a bit dirty...

they've never done anything wrong in their live <33

this is a fact. he is the best. he is too good to pure. Honestly I think this bit is self explanatory. He's one of the sweetest little guys who is an honest to goodness sweetheart.

[firesofdainix]

hey hey tell me more about Hideaki!! I wanna know more about him!!

also if you could give me a color pallet for him that would be perfect

OH MY GOD IT’S MY BLORBO'S TIME TO SHINE!!! This man has been living in my head rent free ALL MONTH so I think he needs a necessary introduction.

(You're lucky I made a little concept ref sheet for Hideaki. His hair is HORRIBLE to draw.)

ANYWAYS, his shitty tragic ass life story is under the cut. The blorbo needs his moments <3333

Tw for someone killing a baby brutally, beheading, some violence

Okay so first of all, he's HELLA old in ninjago history. He was a member of the VERY FIRST Elemental Alliance, which included Morro I. His Element was the long-lost and extinct Element of Seasons. This and the Element of Weather were originally from the Great Devourer, offered to humans who managed to evade its venom. Hideaki was a very lucky guy because of his encounter, to the point he was regaled as some kind of hero. Season is a hard Element to make sense or understand about, that even Hideaki doesn't know how he can fully control it. So, the least complicated version of the semantics of Season is that it can summon a season willingly in a controlled area. Although that takes a LOT of work and needs True Potential, so Hideaki taps into the traits of the Core Elements and correlates it to the season he wants to summon.

He awakened his powers at a very young age, and just at 14 he awakened his True Potential in a very fantastical way. FSM noticed his power and notified his parents (and a confused Hideaki) he was an Elemental Master and would like for him to join his alliance. His parents and siblings were quite protective of Hideaki, and were a bit tense and suspicious of a man who just appeared out of nowhere to recruit their son to what seems like a gang. Hideaki, very excited to meet new friends, insisted on going with FSM to travel the world. Right speaking of which, his relationship with his family is VERY good, he has three siblings as well so it's a big family. They are very close, too close to the point he feels as if he's too codependent on them. That's why he chose to go with FSM, so he can learn to handle himself.

As a person, he's a very fun, bubbly, and optimistic person, however he's VERY naïve when it comes to meeting new people. He sees everything, initially, in a black and white worldview, He always obeys the FSM's rules out of sheer idol worship and wanting to be useful, seeing everything in black and white. But despite his bubbliness he's very bad at socializing, often getting distracted with insects, running off to come pet them and getting lost because of a bad sense of direction. Most Elemental Masters have to go looking for him, often being annoyed by how ditzy and clueless he is. It doesn’t help they're older than him by a few years and he was only 14 when he joined. He's also pretty bad at socializing, because whatever he says can be taken in a VERY wrong out of context way.

He barely has any friends (because, you know, he has a big age gap with the others) and the others really didn't want to connect with a little kid, unlike FSM, who's very fond of him. He wishes he has a better childhood than what he had. But, his only friend in the entire Elemental Alliance was the first Elemental Master of Wind, Morro I. They were the only person in the entire world who can match his rambunctious and wilder side, but unfortunately Hideaki is the one who has to keep them in check. They always make reckless or intellectually impulsive decisions where he often forgets he is currently with a buddy, and Hideaki bears the brunt of their decisions. He tries to dissuade Morro I from his many, many awful decisions, but to his dismay he continues to not listen to him. However, he continues to stay with him, simply because he was the only person who can tolerate and understand his giddiness and personality.

Hideaki can summon seasons, and his appearance is also changed depending on which season he uses, or what his current mood is. Because he is usually seen as a happy, smiling young man, his hair, which is pink since birth, his hair is vibrant and very soft-looking, like spring is always like. In the picture above his 'spring colors' is the first picture. With the pink highlights. He is barely in a 'winter mode' simply because he believes his sadness is not quite important to the mission.

As an able Elemental Master, Hideaki was very good at listening to FSM's orders and also his superiors. The only thing he is flawed with is his ability to be distracted. If Morro I is good at evading and being as fast as the wind, Hideaki, is gifted in heavy lifting, though he has more limits unlike the Master of Earth. He can try and drag a grundle back into unclaimed lands using a rope or chains, one of his prime weaponry. Because his Element can somewhat be four separate elements entirely, he uses different kinds of weapons to mediate his power. Since he uses spring a lot he uses a longbow regularly, having perfect aim. He has decently strong control over summer, using a kusarigama, a decent but weaker control over autumn, in which he uses a kama, and he has a very, VERY weak link for winter, simply because his personality contrasts with what winter is usually seen as.

Anyways, when Morro I was arrested for the crime of being so obsessed with FSM, Hideaki was so hurt by the way he showed his true colors. He tried to fish out another response or confession from Morro I, but what he heard from them was heartbreaking: the person he cared about the most... Didn't give too shits about him. He didn't watch Morro I's exile, and he felt embarrassed over the fact he had a crush on them. Since the only person he has gotten along with was gone, he was alienated even further from the Alliance. So he does solo missions, aware the other Elemental Masters don't want to give him the time of day. FSM tries to convince him to socialize, but he really doesn't know how to socialize, only putting on a front that he was still nice and approachable.

When he was 16, a few months after Morro I was exiled, he was patrolling the areas near a rather large forest filled with dangerous plants and animals, a portal above him opens, and, alarmed, he jumps out the way soon as a dark figure falls, and into the ravine near Hideaki. While he was still addled and a little shocked about the portal hanging above him, he calls out to the new stranger if they were okay. The responder sounded feminine, and, after telling them to hold still as he tries to rescue them, something leaps out from the ravine and catches him in a tackle. When he meets with their eyes, it was like love at first sight.

Apparently, the creature in front of him was an Oni, a predecessor of the First Spinjitzu Master and was tasked to bring him back, dead or alive, for their cause in the First Realm. Her name was Kokoro, and she was mainly forced to follow in her parents' footsteps by the Omega or she will be killed. She knows that her being taken here was just a banishment in disguise, but she didn't seem to care. Her Realm was devastated after the incessant fighting of the Oni and Dragon, and seeing Ninjago, she didn't WANT to find the FSM and kill him for it. Sympathizing with her, Hideaki shares a few bits of his life, and the two of them hit it off, something in them clicking when they first laid eyes on each other. Kokoro started to live with Hideaki in his family home. While his family were, at first, a little wary over an Oni staying in their home, immediately warmed up to her.

After a year of knowing each other, their feelings for the other didn't seem to fade away or become platonic. Instead, it grew stronger every time they spend time with one another. They confessed to one another during a private night, and well, they're both teenagers and let the hormones win, so... Hideaki finds out that Kokoro is about to have a kid he's a little tense, panicking even. He's NEVER had one of his dumb, teenage-driven decisions backfire SO horribly in his face before, being the first time he's ever done anything out of impulse. But in the end, while he did receive some scolding from his parents that became a really, REALLY big misunderstanding (Hideaki thought they believed Kokoro was a horrible influence on him, they just want to help), he and Kokoro ended up running away from home. He still had contact with the Elemental Masters, but he omits any details of his Oni wife because he fears their prosecution.

Some background over this hesitant omission: when FSM left, the dragons did send their best warriors to find him, but when he expressed he didn't want to return to the First Realm, the dragons had no choice but to respect his choices. However, the Oni warriors, especially the embodiments of Vengeance, Anger and Deception were very keen on taking him back to win a war they caused. Why do you think the Elemental Alliance was formed? Not only to defend Ninjago's citizens from attacks of primordial creatures, but also from the Oni. They try their damndest to drive out the Oni, and while they are successful, somewhat, some decided to stay, such as Mystake, but only the FSM knows. Kokoro is a stronger type of Oni, since she's one of the daughters of the Oni of Anger. It's why she regularly has some angry outbursts that only Hideaki can calm down. She gets carried away when she gets WAY too angry. But she doesn't hurt anyone, she just has a big impact in her surroundings. Kokoro is the one that carved the mask of anger after fighting her father with Hideaki when they, by coincidence, found him in a secluded and unknown part in Ninjago. It was a metal ass fight.

Anyways, when he is not doing his Elemental Master work, he usually does house chores, making accomodations for Kokoro, or being a generally nice and pleasant person to be around with. He helps a lot of folk near his area with their lives, helping them settle, babysit, whatever. He's regarded as that towns handyman since he always seems to know what to do. Hideaki didn't know that, even when he tried to keep Kokoro a secret, only referring to her by name or his wife, some of his contemporaries got way too suspicious. He always evades the idea of visiting her, he's never shown them any kind of significant material that belongs to his wife, to the point they just think he's making up excuses to escape his work. So they followed him home, and not only did they find out Hideaki’s wife, they also found out she was Oni and like... idk they're beefing with a guy who just turned 18.

So they put the worst assumptions they had on Hideaki and his wife, and immediately tattled on him towards the FSM. Okay, so we are getting on neutral ground with him. I think the FSM is a very interesting figure. He is good, but sometimes he can get a little suspicious of people. He has trust issues after being used and abused by the Oni and Dragon for so many years. When the Elemental Masters forwarded what they assumed Hideaki was doing, well. He didn’t want to believe it at first. The Elemental masters mean well, probably (if having a grudge on a kid means well idk), but they said things blown out of proportion, way too based on assumptions and delusions for it to work. FSM denies their assumptions, but decided the only way to discover if it was true or no was to confront Hideaki. Following him to his home (since Hideaki couldn't say no to him) he, some Elemental Masters who insist on accompanying FSM, engage in a tense dinnertime with Kokoro, who just gave birth (Hideaki still couldn't find the time to hold his new kid in his arms too). FSM purposefully cuts himself (Oni and Dragon alike are very interested in his blood), and Kokoro reacts accordingly, her mind hazy, going out of control as she turns to a full Oni.

that's when FSM admonishes Hideaki for his secrecy. He lets the other Elemental Masters restrain Kokoro, and FSM gives Hideaki a chance to explain himself, to debunk what his comrades tell the FSM. He was always a firm believer of someone admitting their lies and their sins face-to-face... However Hideaki DOES NOT work well under pressure, nor when his baby and wife is currently being held hostage so his thoughts, his confessions and everything he says is incomprehensible garbage. He even made a few mentions of the Oni of Anger and how they destroyed him without the FSM knowing, to which FSM'S trust for Hideaki breaks more. Initially, despite the offenses and panicked testimony, FSM was going to let Hideaki free, except he is exiled from the Elemental Alliance.

The thing is, Hideaki prioritizes his family first. Before FSM can reassure him he is not mad, the Master of Fire... Killed Hideaki's baby. Not an accident, he literally burnt the baby alive until it was reduced to nothing but literal ashes. It was as if something unlocked inside Hideaki; with an enraged growl he breaks free, attempting to maul the Master of Fire like a bear. Even Kokoro was enraged over what they'd done to her child, impaling the first Elemental Master of Nature, letting him die as she tries to scramble to pick up the child's remains and kill the master of fire. The master of fire INSISTS he hadn't done that, that something was controlling him, brainwashing him into fucking killing a baby. I wonder who it was. Anyways things got ugly immediately, Kokoro got murdered by a happenstance of circumstances, that not even Hideaki or FSM could explain it in detail. In the end, FSM cursed Hideaki after murdering the master of fire and earth, thinking that the Preeminent was simply collecting souls not to feel lonely (because he’s still quite naive, despite seeing Preeminent’s true form. he GENUINELY thought she wanted a companion and assigned her Hideaki).

The Elemental Master of Lightning beheads Hideaki out of grief, and when Hideaki opens his eyes to the new afterlife awaiting him. Everything was... a dystopia. A ruin of every ruin. Desolation and destruction that predates anything he knows about Ninjago. And at the center of it all, lies the Preeminent, who has her wish come true. A new companion... but he wasn’t willing, and she treats him more as a pet than anything else. Against his will, since he IS the first inhabitant of the Cursed Realm, he is married to the Preeminent, but no matter how much force and situated affection she has for him, in his heart there only lies one girl. Kokoro, whom he was very, VERY far away from.

At first, he still held hope. Hope that he will see Kokoro again, to hold their child, but the days turned to weeks, months, and then years. The Preeminent had enforced him with all kinds of orders and laws, to the point that his happy, humane and optimistic side started to fade away, leaving only the ugliest parts of him; his lack of social awareness, his awkwardness, his intense insecurity. The years in the Cursed Realm turned him to the very thing he hated the most: something he considers a bad person. These negative attributes of his personality was also paired up with an increasing amount of apathy and indifference (he started accepting that every soul that came here was forsaken and deserved to be punished like him), and cruelty and idleness he shows to his new subordinates. He thinks he can wither like this forever, to act as if nothing exists, as if he doesn’t exist, as if his only dream in this afterlife was to be tortured and held captive by the Preeminent forever.

But someone stopped him from spiralling in those horrid thoughts, as late as he can be. Five thousand years since he came to this realm and was stripped of the humanity he had, a Cursed soul younger than him showed up. 17 years old, clearly having been deceived by the Preeminent as Hideaki observes him from the Head of the Cursed Realm, as he fights off many, many ghosts, winning glory and the authority of everyone in the Dystopian Ribcage. Called the champion, this man was. He interested Hideaki a lot, but he refuses to think or talk about him. He may ascend the Head soon, so what could he possibly say to him? That is, until the Preeminent told him not only was he the Elemental Master of Wind, but he is named after his old friend, Morro I. Immediately the most interested he has been since he was exiled to this Realm, he seeks the young ghost out to obtain information from him, whatever it is. He didn't know what information he wants from him, but it was enough to make this already static afterlife feel... A little more entertaining.

And it did. Hideaki properly gets the chance to meet Morro after one of his combats. Morro had just finished one of his more iconic fights (him against Arcturus, the Anacondrai general), and seen than a particular silhouette he has not ever come across the amphitheater was watching him, he immediately books it. However, Arcturus was feeling a little petty over losing a fight against a teenager that he corners him and almost beats him up if Hideaki didn't intervene. Sending the Anacondrai on their way, he gets a one on one with Morro. The young man wanted to talk to Morro, but he was sent away by a large wind, so he decided to volunteer to host Morro's visit towards the Cursed Realm palace, that's when they started talking. While at first, since Morro was jaded by human interaction and suspicious over anything that tries to interact with him. Hideaki was no exception; he treated him quite callously and occasionally misinterprets his body language and stand offishness as him thinking he is above all of them. Morro has a strong hatred over the Cursed Realm's elite society living in her head (which Hideaki is a part of) because they're living good afterlives in her head.

However, after a few more years of some forced spending time together (the Preeminent wanted her husband and her champion to have a better relationship for publicity), Morro started to understand how and why Hideaki is the way he is. Sooner and later, he developed an understanding and more intimate relationship with Hideaki. It’s not romantic, but it is definitely more platonic than what was intended by the both of them. Not getting into it but it’s like friends-with-benefits type of relationship, except they do have a particularly strong bond. However Morro doesn’t really like him in a romantic way (he’s not that romantically attracted to anyone at all), while Hideaki simply hasn’t moved on from his first wife. They’re not affectionate with each other, but everyone who sees them interact and share relationships know that they are quite close to each other. They occassionally talk, had multiple rendezvous that leaves the Preeminent seething, knowing how one another would feel and act given the type of situation, and even leaves others debating and fighting over what their label were.

Hideaki dislikes the fact that Morro cares too much about a title he never got in his life, and wants him to let go of that ambition. However Morro doesn’t like the fact that he acts as if he doesn’t care about his life anymore. He tries riling Hideaki up with the promises of destroying Cloud Kingdom for separating him from his family. He has no interest with the Preeminent’s ambitions of taking over all the sixteen Realms but makes no plans stopping them, having given up the ability to care about the morality of the situation. However, once he asks Morro if he was still willing to possess the Green Ninja to find the Realm Crystal, he did not expect Morro expressing vengeance and the desire to plunge the world into misery. Despite his hesitance and dislike of having to exert too much of his energy into something that will most likely fail, he was fond of Morro. He didn’t want him to die because of his naive foolishness, and so, decides to help him.

This of course blows up on everyone's faces, as Morro loses against a bunch of teenagers with facemasks, and Hideaki was being smug towards both Preeminent and Morro about how this was a HORRIBLE idea and he knew it. Despite all of this, he feels nothing but acceptance over his fate, and believes he accepts getting scorched to death by water. He does, however, become tense at the thought of his loved ones being judgemental and not loving him any longer simply because he is different and not the man Kokoro married. Idk what to do with this story plot point but he does reunite with his family, don't know how to do it while making it emotional. He also plays widely into this kind of fanseason but also AU thing of mine in which Morro gets an on screen redemption arc. Anyways yeah that's it for his story, it was bound to have a happy ending for him since he deserves it.

Anyways some trivia time tee hee:

Here's a more detailed reference picture of Hideaki I drew out of funnies if you want more color palette references. He ALWAYS wears his training gi, if he is not he wears traditional kimono. I don't have any color palette for his Cursed Realm design but here's a basic sketch of it. He's obsessed with the idea of wearing tons of armor because it's a sign you can protect people you love.

Initially his character would be a little more of an asshole than his final ones, I had his character already set up in early July during the time of making TAGOMJTR (my Morro redemption fic) and waited for a time to implement him in the story. He was supposed to be Morro’s 'only friend' who betrayed him to go to the Head of the Preeminent and left his ass, which made him grow bitter. I actually had to scrap a moment in TAGOMJTR and Morrotober because that little blurb doesn't fit what I have for Hideaki anymore.

Although I had an impulsive thought about turning Hideaki into a genuine, good friend for Morro because he needs some rest between all things, so here we are! I fluctuated back and forth over his actual personality because him being unhinged or snarky and flippant isn't really how I envision him. Besides I need him to contrast Morro- Morro caring too much about life while Hideaki doesn't really give a damn anymore. That's why he's a lot more stoic and apathetic than usual, but it's clear he has a better moral compass and standing than Morro has.

The way I thought of their character is a lot more 'wow what if Morro got fucked over by a ghost in the Cursed Realm' then it turned to 'wow what if an Elemental Master was also condemned' and Hideaki was made. He's mainly based off cold characters who became the way they are because of traumatic events. I think Morro deserves a companion that tries to talk him out of many things rather than someone who betrays him and destroy the last of his kindness.

He's also actually a Demon Slayer oc with the same element at his disposal (breath of Seasons) but they're WILDLY different characters at this point with varied accomplishments. They also have different appearance.

[stillthesunkenstars]

I hope this comes off alright, I'm bad with words and terribly rambly but-

I 100% understand feeling like social media sites you used to enjoy don't feel the same anymore. And if Twitter feels better than Tumblr, then jump ship! Do what makes you feel happy!

But (and i know this is selfish) i hope you don't deactivate, I adore your looking through your art tags and meta posts.

Your art has inspired me for so many years now and kept me invested in this little corner of fandom (not to mention your KICK ASS original work (Honestly at this point I mentally see Brax as your oc? More than a doctor who character??? He is the ivq blorbo) that has such amazing fluidity and flair that it makes me want to grab my tablet and draw something even half as cool)

I 100000% get feeling tired of less tags and less interaction (god knows this site is so shit for interaction these days. Not to mention with a small fandom like ours it feels even worse, urgh. Especially when you're out here making, no exaggeration, fuckin masterpieces)

But hope u keep ur blogs up because there is so much on here that is so close to my heart!

Still ofc its your decision. I just wanted to let u know how much you being on this site has meant to me. Even if we've never really had many proper conversations. I've always felt such a lovely feeling of parallel existance. I just always love seeing u around ya know. I'm sentimental and bad with words like that >:0.

So even if you haunt twitter rather than tumblr i hope you don't close the door completely? Tho ofc i will be keeping up with ur fantastic work through there.

Love ya my guy 💙💙💙

Hi cass!!!!! This is such a nice message to receive and I’m glad u enjoy my art… I don’t think I’m a good artist nor am I able to do or has the time to illustrate like I used to but i still keep it in my heart if I ever get to do it again in the future… I’m so happy what I make even makes you a little happy and I don’t think I’ll deactivate here.. I think I’ll go on a hiatus posting BS art here though and even if I do post it I will not tag it as such..