#you know i suddenly understand why it’s so difficult to tag posts

[emotionallyattachednerd]

Jealous Type ❙ ES Megatron x f!robot reader ❙ NSFW 18+

Word count: 2000+

Warnings: Smut ( Oral and spike in valve ), jealous behaviour, mentions of past relationship, some angst and happy ending. NSFW 18+.

Notes: Honestly, I love the Megatron from earthspark. We all see a side to him we haven’t before and I think it’s beautiful. Thanks anon for senidng this in. It turned out much more fluffy. Also I made the reader robot as you didn’t spesify, so hope that’s alright. 🥰

Added notes: I had so many issues posting this. For some reason this wasn’t appearing anywhere. This will be my fourth attempt in posting it. Had to test around with the tags to see what the issue was. I’m unsure why this happened, and I'm still unsure. But just checking the feeds and it seems to be working now, so it just fixed itself I think? Posting again and fingers crossed it behaves.

Coffee ☕

You both came from the same lifestyle back on Cybertron. You followed him during those times during the rebellion. You joined his side when he formed the decepticons, no matter what, you swore to serve him. That’s how things grew more between you two, and you both grew to even love one another. But like all good things it doesn’t last forever as the war rages on. There was never any time for either of you, and you drifted apart so bluntly. Nonetheless you continue to follow him, no matter how much it stung when he merely treats you like one of his soldiers and not his lover anymore.

For so long it continues, and suddenly he changes and sides with Optimus. At the time you were pissed. After everything, all the sacrifices, everything you did for him, what was it all for? As expected the decepticons pretty much turned their backs on their former leader, ignoring his excuses. You weren’t upset about the cause but more like Megatron for dragging you through every struggle for so long, only to leave you still hanging over the edge. What you hated more was that you still loved the bastard.

You chose to not hang around, leaving the decepticons and Megatron to their silly games and hide around on the new planet you reside on. Earth. Oddly enough you find a peaceful beauty on the planet, and choose to use this to try and recover yourself from all that time ago. It doesn’t last though, of course it doesn’t. The all spark was gone, or sent back to Cybertron, and the space bridge was destroyed. You were all stranded here. Fantastic.

It doesn’t take you long to figure out about G.H.O.S.T. and how they’re tracking down decepticons. Megatron was offering changes, to work together, for the sake of their world and species. The words from Optimus that somehow got hardwared in that thick lug nut processor of his. You don’t want to be part of that, not yet at least. It’s not that you didn’t understand why Meagtron was working with Optimus, you did, but he hurt you and you hated to simply give in.

You avoiding being captured was about to run out eventually. G.H.O.S.T. find you and drag you back to their base where you’re about to be put in prison, but this is stopped by Megatron. He vouched for you, much to your surprise, before asking you the big question. Will you join us?

Your answer is yes.

Now you worked with G.H.O.S.T who you didn’t like or trust at all. There is something off about them, and even Megatron made a few comments about his mistrust of them, but Optimus asks to give them a chance to prove themselves. It’s not like there is much you can say or do anyway, just work as a team.

Megatron is different, older you remark to yourself, but it’s like the war is still raging in his processor in a silent never ending scream. He looks tired and worn down, yet he continues to thrive being the Megatron you know. You want to talk to him about everything, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to do this. Expressing is something you haven’t done in a long time and there are reasons you stopped so long ago. You decide to leave it and just try to move on. This proves to be near difficult, so you distract yourself however you can.

Flirting. It just started as harmless flirting. You didn’t think much of it at the time. Optimus didn’t seem to mind either, even looking rather flattered with himself, but you did catch Elita sending you a few glares if she might’ve overheard. You know not to tread on that turf, not that you were interested anyway. Though it wasn’t just Elita that noticed but Megatron as well.

“Why are you playing around with Optimus?” His stern voice is heard and you turn to face him through narrowed optics.

“Excuse me? I’m not playing around with anyone.”

“You’re flirting with him. Are you smitten by him?” His tone grows annoyed causing you to scoff lightly in amusement.

“No, and even if I was, why does that bother you?”

“You know damn well why it bothers me.”

“What’s this? The mighty Megatron is jealous? Grow up. There’s nothing between you and me anymore, you made that very clear. I can flirt with whoever I want.”

“Me? We were at war! You wanted so much more that couldn’t be given. You decided to end things because you weren’t patient enough.”

“Don’t you dare put the blame on me! Yes, I wanted more, I wanted us to build a future together but you were so focused on leading the decepticons there was no time for us.”

“How could we have built a future in the middle of a war?!” He’s booming now. The old Megatron flickered across your view for a short moment.

“I don’t know, but you certainly didn’t try very hard. You gave up on us and I chose to ignore it all because I believed in you still. Now here we are, and all for what? For you to side with Optimus. I loved you, I gave myself to you, I dragged myself in all sorts of smelting pits for you! You broke my spark, and it still hurts.”

“You’re making it all about you.” His answer took you off guard. “You think you were the only one that was hurt? Don’t pretend that you are the innocent one. I wanted you to be patient for us but you couldn’t do that and decided for yourself that we were over. You never spoke to me about it, never mentioned it ever again, just pretended all was fine. Now that hurt me.”

Your optics beam with tears as he steps closer saying all this. How dare he? It wasn’t your fault! He’s the one that chose to ignore you.

“Go frag yourself.” You can only whisper. He’s so close to you, which causes you to shove at his large chest. “Frag you!”

You don’t know how it happened, but he’s suddenly kissing you. You feel him holding your shoulders firmly as he presses his lips against your own, feeling desperate.

You react by pushing him away and slapping him. He looks defeated when you do this. You allow everything to sink in and you suddenly feel bad for hitting him. Reaching up you touch his cheek plating where you had hit him. He doesn’t flinch, and instead you watch as his optics shuttered closed and lean into your touch, letting out a warm purr that vibrates against your servo. You still loved the bastard.

Stepping closer you move your servos along his shoulder plating. Your height difference never affected your ability to touch or hold him before. He leans closer again, slowly this time, grazing his lips against your audio making you exhale softly from the tender contact. He moves his helm back in front of you and you’re the one to kiss him then, deeply, desperate yourself.

Suddenly he moves you both into the nearest room. Empty. But at least it wasn’t out in the open for anyone to see within the base. He presses you against the wall and lets out a groan against your lips, glossas dominating one another before he’s on his knees before you so fast.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Winning you back.”

You feel both his glossa and dentas against your inner thigh then, nibbling and sucking against your soft metal skin as he raises your leg up onto his shoulder.

“Oh…” You can only gasp out which is soon followed by a growing moan, arising arousal rushing through your entire frame making you quiver in delight. When you feel his glossa run up against your closed panel you suddenly retract it and press your exposed valve down against him.

Megatron lets out a deep moan that shakes from your aching valve as he tastes your sweet fluids, rolling his glossa into your depths and uses that along with his vibrations against your node, stimulating your valve and worshipping you on his knees.

Your helm tilts back against the wall as you tighten your thighs around his helm, grinding down gently against his face as you press your servo at the back of his helm, keeping him there as you ride yourself against him. Heated gasps leave you as your rocking motions increase, as do the movements of his glossa.

You can feel yourself growing more hot and aroused, your overload quickly building as you continue to rock yourself in the perfect sync with his glossa, before it’s suddenly gone and he’s standing back up.

“I was getting close…” You snarl at him through annoyed optics.

He only chuckles light at your annoyance. “Darling, I only wish to savour every bit of you. Besides,” He leans closer and whispers into your audio, “don’t you want me to frag you?”

You respond by letting out a shaky vent, hearing his panel retract and watching his extensive spike eject out between you both. Oh you’ve missed him.

“Yes, frag me senseless.”

Grabbing hold onto his shoulders again you wrap your legs tightly around his broad waist, feeling him kissing you delicately before he slides himself inside your drenched valve.

Megatron’s cable stretches you fully, every ridge and pulse flutters against your inner walls as your node grinds against his base. With your arms wrapped around the back of his neck you gaze lustfully into his optics before kissing him again more firmly, rocking your hips down along his spike causing you both to moan deeply.

He holds you steady against the wall and begins to increase the pace of his thrusts, slow and strong thrusts that push every inch of his length inside you, pushing out heated moans from you over again.

Your back scraps against the wall he had you pressed against as you held on tightly around his rocking large figure against you. At that point you didn’t care who would hear either of you, and relished every thrust delivered to you. He continues this pace before finally increasing his thrusts, grunting firmly as he grew close to his own overload, practically rutting into you.

“Megatron…frag…oh primus!” You can’t help but cry out as your node is stimulated against him, your overload suddenly comes crashing through your entire frame and lets out a blissful cry into his neck.

He thrusts into you firmly a few more times before he stiffens and you feel his trans fluids soak your inner depths along with a deep rumbled moan muffled into your shoulder by him.

He keeps you between himself and the wall, his twitching spike still buried deep in you while you savoured every moment with him. Gently, he presses his helm against the front of yours and lets out a long and deep vent.

“Can we try again?” You hear him ask you, and you can’t help but smirk softly.

“Us? Or interfacing?” He responds with a hearty chuckle.

“Both.”

You already know your answer. “We can.” You grab his chin firmly between your digits then. “But I swear, hurt me and I’ll personally offline you myself.”

“I expect no one else to do such a thing.” He leans his helm into your digits before kissing your inner palm making you smile tenderly. You missed that stupid old handsome face.

“Good. Let’s continue this in your quarters. I want you to frag me into oblivion.” You feel yourself smirk before he removes himself and lowers you down. He’s growing semi hard again you take notice.

“Let’s go than, darling.” He fixes himself up but you know it’s uncomfortable for him before you finally accept his offered servo on your own and let him lead you to his private quarters.

Perhaps there is hope for you both to have a future.

[thatfreshi]

"Undeserving"

Hi! This was an expedited request by @mosshugs who asked that I go more into my headcanon of Astarion having ED behaviors. I want to preface this by saying I have limited experience with ED behaviors, and most of my experience and knowledge is from people I know with eating disorders, and I apologize if something I've written here doesn't feel correct for the experience.

So, BIG TW for eating disorder talk on this one.

If you'd like to have an expedited request, please check out the pinned post on my blog! (The masterlist can now be found under the tag freshimasterlist.)

When it comes to survival, it is difficult to foster nurturement, to find the strength to nourish even the smallest part of yourself. It is especially difficult for those who never had a nurturer, those who grew up without the protection of a mama bear, those who were ripped away from safety and forced into survival primarily, to find the strength to care, even if it's for themselves. While it seems like common sense, some part of you couldn’t ever fully understand the phenomena of nourishment and survival. That is, until you were faced with the conundrum head-on.

Astarion had somewhat perfected survival at this point, despite the fact that it was mostly not his choice. A more proper word choice might be endurance, the ability to persevere through torture despite your undying presence. Even now, he had endured all the way to the city, all the way to the legendary ‘Baldur’s Gate’ that you had been fighting towards for weeks. The two of you understood each other quickly, smoothly, reading each other like tea leaves. But, just like premonitions, not all of the details unfold as quickly as others. 

Your vampiric lover had been feeding on you almost every evening since you found out about his little ‘secret,’ that he didn’t quite hide as well as he thought he did. Of course, it started when you were merely aquaintances, continued on when you were friends, and then turned into something more. Now, feeding on you is a romantic ritual of sorts, a sign of trust, a moment of recluse and safety. Safety is a word that Astarion is unfamiliar with, the feeling at least. But those moments he has drank from you, he has finally started to understand what exactly it means to be safe. That is, until he suddenly stopped. 

You were waiting to face Cazador, a being who had now become one of multiple banes of your existence. Sadly, things on a wild adventure don’t necessarily schedule themselves neatly, which was making both you and Astarion jittery, anxious.

“We should rest soon you know. Plenty more villains to get around to.”

He isn’t fully listening, something you’re quite used to dealing with. 

“I know.”

He’s more exhausted these days, moreso than usual. Everyone is tired obviously, but you’re more tuned into his energy than the others.

“Have you fed recently? It’s been a while since you’ve asked me.”

“Of course. How many people have I killed just today? Plenty of blood has been going around.”

He stands in the opening of the tent, staring off into nothing while you sit on the ground.

“You and I both know you don’t stop for long enough to get enough out of any of those fools.”

“And you take me for a liar?”

Astarion’s tongue is sharp, and he finally turns to face you.

“I take you for a liar, but not usually a liar to me. Now, come, drink some.”

You’ve had plenty of banters like this, where he has been difficult with you, but the night air doesn’t sit peacefully like on those nights. He’s not staring at nothing, but at the past, the future. He doesn’t bend to your whim. 

“Really, my darling Tav, I am alright. Perhaps you should go to bed without me, I might be up for a while.”

Distant. He’s only distant when something is truly bothering him, just like he was in the beginning, just like he was when you met him on the beach.

“Astarion, why don’t you want to feed on me?”

Out of the myriad of things he doesn’t like, he doesn’t like direct confrontation from you. When it comes to safety, survival, nourishment, he likes to be elusive. He likes to hide from you, because sometimes you let him. He wasn’t allowed to hide before, when he was still living at the palace. Sometimes though, you can’t let him hide.

“Who said I don’t want to feed on you? Why, your blood is delightful! Delectable even.”

And there he goes, that slight seduction in his tone, a distraction.

“Then why haven’t you drank from me in days? Over a week at this point?”

Now comes the moment when he realizes there is no way out, that you’re onto him, that he can’t dance around it with his words any longer. He makes his way to be next to you.

“I… I’m not really sure Tav.”

A very rare occurrence, where Astarion sounds entirely clueless.

“What do you mean?”

“I, I mean I do want to. I’ve told you so many times before how much I delight at our feedings, I just-”

You give him a moment.

“I feel, wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Wrong. Like it wouldn’t be right to feed from you.”

“Aster, I’ve told you how many times that I’m okay with you feeding on me. It’s even enjoyable at times! And besides, it’s good for you, and it strengthens our bond-”

“I don’t think any of that is what this is. And I do hear you, but this… this is different. Maybe it’s because we’re so close to confronting, him.”

Both of your faces change slightly at the thought of Cazador.

“Are you nervous? Because that seems entirely natural.”

“Well, yes. Of course I’m nervous, not that I would tell anyone else that. I think this though, is perhaps a feeling of being undeserving of something.”

“Like what?”

“Freedom, love, more than rats. I have wanted to feed on you numerous times, but I find myself being held back by this feeling of being… undeserving.”

“My dear, you are entirely deserving of feeding, especially on me.”

You move to comfort him, a light touching arm.

“I suppose it doesn’t feel that way right now. You know what I was forced to drink from before: flies, rats, other vermin. And of course, when you first offered for me to feed from you, I was so incredibly taken away by a luxury I was never given. Now though, I simply wonder if I should’ve ever had that luxury at all, or if I should have that luxury even now.”

“You are deserving though.”

“I don’t think that will fix it my love. I don’t know if anything that you say can fix this.”

One of the hardest truths of love, that your words cannot always fix their wounds. That sometimes, there are things you will never be able to heal by yourself. 

“Then… how do we fix it? How do we make you feel deserving of feeding?”

He fumbles with his hands.

“Time? Patience? I don’t honestly know darling.”

You move a hand over to his wandering ones, hoping to ground him a little.

“Maybe, now that I know, we could at least try? Even just a little?”

There’s a hint of optimism in his demeanor, something you’ve seen more of over time.

“Alright then, we can try. But that’s all I can promise, an attempt.”

And so, he moves to prepare as you lie down, a much easier way to get your life’s essence taken. It’s a little more tense than usual, which makes sense following a conversation like that. There’s a moment where his teeth pierce your skin, and a piece of time where he does feed, and then there’s a sharp pull away. He seems almost nauseous when you sit back up. You cover the rip he just made on your neck with a nearby piece of cloth.

“I’m sorry, I just… I can’t tonight. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you tried. That’s all I said right, that we should try?”

You move back over to him and wipe at a tear, one made from an apology he never should’ve had to give. 

“Right. And maybe we can try again tomorrow?”

“Of course my love, of course.”

When the two of you lie down finally, there isn’t much said for the rest of the evening. You’ll never quite know exactly what he felt in that moment, what tasting your blood was like, how it made him ill and scared. One thing you do know is that you’ll be there again the next evening, and the evenings later, even if it takes a lifetime to repair that relationship with feeding from you. And maybe eventually, there won’t be that feeling of being undeserving anymore. Maybe one day, there will be nourishment instead of survival, but for now, you can try and make survival as nurturing as you can.

[ingravinoveritas]

Hey, have you heard/seen that Georgia has deactivated her X/Twitter?

(Grouping these Asks together for ease of answering.)

Hi there! Yes, I have heard and seen that Georgia has deactivated her Twitter page. For those who may have missed out on what happened yesterday and today that lead to this, you can read the whole backstory in @thetardisisblueandroseistoo's post and my reblog here.

I think this entire situation is a mess, and that no one on either side handled themselves particularly well. The attacks on Georgia were and are overblown and do nothing to help innocent victims of war, but at the same time, the counter-response of hyper-praising Georgia and saying how "amazing" she is entirely overlooks and ignores her own problematic behavior.

As I mentioned in my other post, this is not the first time Georgia has searched her or David's names, passive-aggressively replied to a tweet from a fan in which she was not tagged, and subsequently sent her followers after the OP to subject them to harassment and death threats. And it incenses me that there were about a hundred reasons to call Georgia out before now for things having nothing to do with this situation--including when she drive-by commented on another fan's tweet two years ago--but people only suddenly care because it's something that affects them. (Which, ironically, is the same thing these fans are accusing Georgia of when it comes to her own social activism/LGBTQ+ issues.)

What a lot of fans ultimately seem to want to ignore is that Georgia started this by picking a fight, and I can think of few things cringier than a grown woman fighting online with a 16-year-old. I know folks will say "That teenager was talking shit and calling Georgia a Zionist and she was correcting their lies." The problem, however, is the way she went about doing it:

Georgia left this comment up for an entire day before responding, likely under the assumption that her trademark snark on a random fan's tweet would earn her praise and adulation, as has happened so frequently in the past. It was only 24 hours later, when it became very apparent that this was not the case, that she chose to add the additional comments and continue digging a rather massive hole for herself.

That said, the subsequent response to her new comments today proved another source of frustration, as I witnessed multiple fans chastise Georgia for not making a stronger statement, fans saying things like "Just say you want a ceasefire, that's all you have to do!" Yet Michael said exactly this back in October, and he was ripped apart for it. What I seem to keep seeing over and over again is a willingness to forgive and defend Georgia because she is a woman and young, and a willingness to spit on and denigrate Michael because he is a middle-aged man. And what no one seems to get is that neither one of these are good, but instead dehumanize Georgia and Michael from both directions.

To your comments, @hunterofartemisblog, I agree that this entire Twitter feud is pointless and a witch hunt. It is the apex of parasocial relationships for these fans to make demands on celebrities they don't know and cast aspersions on their character when said celebrities don't "perform" perfectly to these fans' expectations.

Equally as troubling, however, is what I am seeing now, which is fans acting as if Georgia can do no wrong, and even calling her a "saint." I really do not understand why it is so difficult to treat Georgia and Michael as normal, flawed human persons. Attacking and tearing down Michael only seems to serve to obscure the good he has done (having more than proven his commitment to activism as a UNICEF UK ambassador and working with victims of war in multiple countries), and deifying and excessively praising Georgia only obscures the problematic things she has done and continues to do to fans while shielding herself from any accountability.

Most importantly (and what seems to have fallen by the wayside in all of this), fans engaging in the above behavior does absolutely nothing to help those who are suffering, and instead serves to bolster these fans' assertions that they are doing something "good." I'm left wondering, then, what people think Georgia deactivating her Twitter accomplished. Or in what way two sets of bullies trying to "own" each other did one single thing to help refugees, or displaced persons, or those without access to basic necessities. Because it did nothing. It accomplished nothing, except to prove that neither side can handle one ounce of criticism and will never be willing to listen to each other.

Maybe that's exactly what the people in power want: Performative outrage. Misdirection. Giving vulnerable and emotional young people someone around them to attack and blame, instead of looking at the actions of those above. And maybe these fans played right into it, to the point where some of them are even bragging about getting Georgia to deactivate.

As I said in my previous post, I don't know what the answer is. I am the last person in the world to defend Georgia--and I do not think it speaks highly to her character that the first time she ever faced any controversy and not being worshiped by fans, she turned tail and ran. But I also think that whatever cause these fans started out supporting has become an excuse to hate on Georgia and Michael, and a shield behind which to hide because these fans are so afraid of being hated on themselves.

Earlier this evening, I saw someone say that Georgia only appears supportive because she is afraid of being called unsupportive, but the same seems to be just as true of these fans. I think it would be insanely helpful, then, if everyone involved in this stopped caring so much about appearances and started caring more about honesty. Honestly about the people we admire, and about ourselves. Maybe then we might finally start to get somewhere...

[hippolotamus]

Seven Sentence Sunday 🥂

tagged by @weewootruck @eddiebabygirldiaz (definitely go check their snippets!)

Still in the rework phase. Please take this snippet of come close (let me be home) (prev snippets here) under the cut for the sake of your dash 😘

“I know it’s tough, kid. I’m sure this isn’t easy for you,” Bobby says, leading them through the crowd to a table near the back. “Athena won’t steer her wrong, though.” “I don’t doubt it, Lor- Bobby. I just didn’t think it would be this difficult, honestly. I want her to be happy, but–” “You want to keep her safe.”  “Exactly!” Evan accepts a champagne flute, noticing Bobby takes a lemonade for himself. “I guess I always felt like I had no say before, even though I knew Lord Kendall was a terrible choice. It’s difficult not to want to be more involved this time.” “That’s understandable. Commendable even.” Bobby pauses to take a sip of his drink before cryptically adding, “Sometimes no matter how much we try to protect the people we love, it’s never enough.”  Evan thinks there might be a story there, but doesn’t press for more information. He’s not going to ruin any trust being built by prying into his host’s past. He also tries not to think too hard about how true Bobby’s statement has been in his own life. Instead he shifts his focus back to where Maddie is talking with Athena, smiling at all the right times and looking like she’s genuinely enjoying herself. He walks with Bobby to rejoin their small group, handing a glass to Maddie.  “Anyone promising?” He asks, when suddenly a familiar face catches his eye across the room. It’s the man from the park, surrounded by a mob of enthusiastic socialites not so subtly shoving their dance cards at him.   “I know him,” Evan murmurs without thinking.  “Viscount Diaz?” Bobby questions.  Athena cuts in before Evan can answer. “I didn’t realize you had met. I know I certainly didn’t make the introduction. Bobby, did you?” “Not that I recall, my love.” “I, uh-” Evan gulps down the last of his champagne, feeling his cheeks flush. Apparently his etiquette has slipped his mind, causing him to forget how important it is that any introductions are made through Athena or Bobby. “I must be mistaken then.”  “He is handsome,” Maddie whispers, leaning in close.  “Y-yes, I suppose he is,” Evan mumbles, feeling his cheeks flush.  His sister’s observation isn’t wrong. Still, something about her acknowledging the obvious fact, coupled with the man – Viscount Diaz – being here at all doesn’t sit right under his skin.  “Your sister could do much worse than the Viscount,” Athena comments, looking quite pleased with herself. “He’s an honorable man with plenty of land and income. I daresay he would make an admirable choice. In fact, I’m not sure why I didn’t consider it before.”  “May I have this dance?” A gentleman – thankfully not the Marquis or the Viscount – approaches Maddie, extending his hand. He’s of average height and build with mousy brown hair and a forgettable face. As far as Evan can tell there is absolutely nothing noteworthy about him. Nevertheless, Maddie smiles and accepts his hand, letting him lead her to the floor as the music begins.

so many of you have recently posted so absolutely no pressure tagging @shortsighted-owl @stereopticons @elvensorceress @disasterbuckdiaz LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @vanillahigh00 @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @apothecarose @jesuisici33 @daffi-990 @callmenewbie @giddyupbuck @wikiangela @jamespearce9-1-1 @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lemonzestywrites @thewolvesof1998 @steadfastsaturnsrings @loserdiaz @heartshapedvows @underwater-ninja-13 @fortheloveofbuddie @eowon @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @spagheddiediaz @chaosandwolves @wildlife4life @buddierights @911onabc @the-likesofus @spaceprincessem @fionaswhvre @barbiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @pirrusstuff @gayedmundodiaz @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @maygrantgf @statueinthestone @indestructibleheart and anyone else who wants to share 💖

[agust28]

love in the grocery store 2

pairing jaehyun x reader WC ? tags fluff Notes Sorry for the parts I didn't want to but Tumblr had a limit :( Also I literally rewrote the plot like 5 times and have at least 7 drafts In my notes. I wasn’t sure how to link part 2 on the part 1 post sorry again :(

Not even 2 weeks later you find yourself going back. Okay, to be fair, prices were getting outrageously high! You couldn’t keep convincing yourself that splurging on the groceries was better than going back to the forbidden store. Your mind constantly being reminded of the cute employee might have also played a part in the decision, but you’ll never admit that. You had to prep yourself in the car for about 20 minutes before actually entering the store. It sadly didn’t work because as soon as you walk in you wanted to walk out. Think about the prices, think about the prices, think about— “Excuse me,” an annoyed customer shoves you aside. “Sorry,” you squeak out, already embarrassing yourself, and you haven’t walked 5 feet into the store! You exhale before grabbing a cart, which did not fight this time, and head in. You look around trying to spot the cute employee from last time but no luck. You don’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved. Shaking your head, you remember why you’re here, and that’s to get groceries and head out. No detours! Most of your list has been crossed off except for the milk. It was a bit difficult to navigate since you were so used to your old grocery store. You're about to turn the aisle when you accidentally bump into someone. “Sorry! I—” you look up, and it’s like déjà vu. Before your mind can melt into a puddle, he speaks. “Oh hey! You’re the girl who fell into the carts!” His face of surprise morphs into concern. “Are you okay now? You didn’t look too good last time.” Speak, woman, speak! “Yes! I’m okay!” You say a bit loudly, startling him from your enthusiasm. Please universe, just let me shop in peace! “Ah, that’s good! You ran out before I could get a good look.” You look away from embarrassment, hoping this interaction would just end. “Yeah, uh, sorry, it was kind of embarrassing.” He smiles, watching your cheeks blush. “No worries, I totally understand! Well, I’ll let you get back to shopping.” He turns to walk away when you suddenly remember that you still need milk. “Wait! Where can I find the milk?” He turns around and tells you which aisle it’s in. “Or I could just show you? If you’d like.” He rushes the last sentence as if he expects you to turn him down. You nod your head yes, and he smiles widely at that. “Ok, follow me!” You follow next to him as he leads you both to the dairy section. You’re walking side by side when he takes a look into your cart. “You’ve got a cat? I love cats!” You smile brightly at that. Cute and an animal lover? You could melt. “Yeah, one cat and one dog,” you say, pointing to the dog shirt that’s also in your cart. You both continue to share your love for animals before he stops. “Well, this is the milk,” he points towards the wall of milk. You thank him and grab a gallon. From the corner of your eye, you still see the cute clerk standing near you, looking as if he has something to say. As you contemplate whether you should ask if something was wrong, he taps you on your shoulder. “Hi, I probably shouldn’t be doing this but um—” he stops to look around a little uneasy “sorry, I thought I saw my manager.” He breathes out and continues, “I was just wondering if I could have your number?” You’re taken aback because this is the last thing you imagined coming out of his mouth. He takes your surprise as disgust and immediately starts to backtrack. “Sorry! I just thought you were cute! And wanted to have your number to check up on you!” Now you're laughing. “Check up on me?” He sees your smile and visibly relaxes. “Yeah, you know that fall looked really hard. It'd be good to have my number just in case.” You smirk. “In case of what? I fall on your very dangerous carts again?” “Exactly!” He pulls out his phone and hands it over to you, hoping you'd agree to exchanging numbers. And of course, you do! You'd be crazy not to. The two of you exchange numbers and names and bid farewell. You step out with groceries that will no longer cost a leg and a new contact that you'll hopefully keep in touch with.

[luchicm04]

lost in the forest - part 3

Masterlist

Summary: Our favorite albino interacts with Karen at last. It isn't a pleasant event.

Pairing: Senju Tobirama/Original Female Character

Tag: #lost in the forest fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 1.9k

Overall warnings: canon-typical violence, adult content, time skips, angst, kidnapping

Karen continues to keep her distance, oblivious and careful. She sighs looking at her current state. She’s thinner and dirty enough to make others feel sorry for her. She purses her lips looking at the food brought again: the usual rice accompanied with a light, somewhat hard bread. That stopped surprising her long ago. 

“Karen?” That man always arrives at that time, just after her last mean of the day with a gentle look. He deceives her... He wants to understand her and above all talk to her. 

Although there is nothing more than the name as progress. 

He doesn’t know why he doensn’t give up... He doesn’t understand. 

“There you are again,” she does not avoid saying, moving away from any approach, bitter and tired if this despite the fact that so many days have passed. How long has she been here? It has seemed eternal. The man makes gibberish and comments many other things in their difficult language. 

Now she nows that his name is Hashirama. Not so strange considering the type of culture this is, focused on the ancient oriental. What surprises her is the fact that he says his name so casually and with such ease seeing the approach of wanting to communicate. 

“This is getting tiring,” Karen comments out of the blue interrupting what the man is saying and she looks at herself. She knows that this will not be easy considering the psychological damage that this will mean, not to mention the physical damage caused by the strong grip on her hands. She is undecided about what to do next. 

Looking at her body, at the dirt accumulated by teh lack of hygiene, she thanks whoever makes fun of her that at least this situation didn’t happen in those days, because it would have been another story... She has left her pride. She looks at the stranger who continues trying to understand her. 

“I...”, the woman points to herself, then makes gestures with her hands on her body. She urges to take a bath. Her hair is greasy, her underwear has not been changed... She tries to take advantage of the false kindness that the foreigner tries to show. At least the other person isn’t here. 

The faded one is worse only by analyzing her like a lab mouse. 

She doesn’t like him. 

“Bath,” she explains in a clumsy attemp to make herself understood, worse than when he tried to communicate with a Muslim on one of her trips. The communication gap is terrible, but this is worse because general gestures are lost at the bowing of her partner. She sits frustrated on the floor and curses under her breath at her bad luck repeating the procedure. “I... bath.” 

“[...]” Hashirama simply doesn’t focus and scratches his chin as well, holding his excitement of her initiative. At least he hasn’t launched into his point excitedly. 

“Shower,” she tries making other gestures that she considers common. It’s ridiculous... she feels like it’s a failed attempt at pampering. It’s a good thing she doesn’t make a living from this because she’s terrible. She sighs and gives up after several seconds. “This will lead to nothing.” 

“Shawa,” the man says strangely. She sees how he tries to accommodate the English pronunciation to his own language. “yu...” 

“It’s not shawa... it’s shower,” she hits her forehead with harshness and frustration. The man hits his hands as if coming up with a great idea, he looks at her and leaves without saying anything. Karen remains uneasy as she doesn’t know what he understood and she is afraid to find out. 

What she didn’t expect is to suddenly be surrounded by women and forcibly taken out of her confinement, scaring her a lot... she hits and kicks with fright that perhaps they interpreted something else with her stupid idea of bathing. 

She hates coming from a time where hygiene can only be endured to a certain point, although her sister always said that she could last more days without bathing than her, not that she was proud of it... but she’s sure she broke the record time. 

When she is thrown into a tub full of water she understands that despite everything, she was understood. 

She is cold, she lacks soap and she clings to her sanity in the face of the aggression she feels from her point of view considering that the humidity is beginning to affect her clothes. They throw it away and rip them because they don’t understand the function of the zipper in her pants or the purpose of her sneakers. “Wait it’s my only change!”, is what she says not so relaxed even though it’s what she wanted. 

“[...]” The woman who normally brings her food looks at her, silences her when she tries to allege the mistreatment and punishes her with a look that stops her from continuing to defend herself. 

“This goes against my rights,” she comments with a frown. Her bra is the only thing that remains next to her boxer shorts. She looks at them... her clothes are truly lost. “I’ll take them off,” she assures, stopping any action from who is supposed to be in charge of the matter. 

She gets up leaving her dignity aside. These people are not willing to leave her alone. She sighs, leaving her shame to show part of her modesty in the eyes of the girls who, although they don’t show it, judge her and analyze every part of her features. Her slight figure worked out in a gym that she now thinks would have been in something else. 

She doesn’t know, maybe martial arts or boxing. 

She snorts and sits reluctantly noticing how the orders are given. She hates not understanding... Listening to what they say little caring if she listens they rub her, they stir her with certain suspicious liquids that she tries to fight off sometimes, and then when she sees the foam and understands that, although rustic, they have the basics. 

──

She is cold and walking barefoot through the hallways being escorted. Her clothing is itchy due to the hardness of the fabric and the humidity still noticeable falling on her shoulders. Her long hair is not the best and was left like a broom because of the strangeness inverted. 

The bath was a joy, but Karen doesn’t know if it was for the best since she doesn’t know what they put in her... at least she feels less dirty. 

Although she won’t say anything about her clothes. Even her underwear is uncomfortable and her bra was replaced by a well-applied set of bandages, all being helped by the women who continue whispering behind her back. She growls... She wants to annoy them, but the insults are lost before the barrier that they still have not crossed. 

“[...]” Someone can be heard tensing the workers who bow in respect. She frowns noticing that tinted haired man with contacts crossing his hands. He looks at her almost making her uncomfortable but she is too proud to show annoyance so she raises her gaze. 

She feels the contempt of her companions, but they don’t say anything. “[...]” The foreigner continues speaking with his sullen and harsh tone. 

“I don’t understand you but... yo momma,” the woman blurts out bitterly with her equally insolent gesture. 

“[...]” The white-haired man orders something to the women who simply get up to face him. She sees that there is a hierarchical line between her kidnappers and the women who helped her, noting that despite how rude they are there are basic etiquettes. 

They aren’t that wild... but as they have kidnapped her, she can’t think otherwise. 

“Hashirama?”, she decides to ask awkwardly, noticing the silence of that hallway. She sighs... She wants to go to her figurative cell and get away from the gaze of that conceited guy. He looks at her and tilts his head firmly, saying many other things that she doesn’t understand. “I just asked if Hashirama was here.” 

“Hashirama?”, the stranger says more, which makes him sigh. “...Tobirama,” he points at himself bitterly. 

“...” She doesn’t like the man so she doesn’t repeat the name. Although she struggled at first she begins to distinguish at least his vowels are more in line with her phonetics, understanding him easily. “Hashirama?”, she insists. 

“[...]” The man orders to continue on his way. They pass next to him and he doesn’t comment anything extra. She wants to say more, but she simply allows herself to be dragged under the hands of the women who whisper frantically as soon as the man disappears from their sight. 

She says nothing of this intense exchange anymore, relaxing as soon as she’s left alone... Seeing her room cleaned up and with more things added to do her hair with a hard dresser was amazing, seemingly leveling up from almost kidnapped to kidnapped with luxuries. Hurray. 

At least she sees that this silly exchange turned out to be something positive. She hopes so. 

However, this would only be the beginning of a series of comic and stupid situations. Karen is sure of it. 

──

She has a rash. She grunts because of the type of reaction to what they gave her to bathe. She would appreciate some kind of talcum powder, now lying down with a very annoying itch. They watch her and whisper. Those assistants remain curious about her skin as it begins to redden and have light red spots. 

She is not proud of her uncomfortable situation, but Karen is adamant about not showing her discomfort even though she has relaxed her alertness to strangers. 

The faded man arrives, surely one of the women spoke to him to see her. He takes her hand without any permission. She tries to walk away, but his gaze chills her soul. He starts to whisper frantically alerting her. 

It feels like an experiment... That man begins to observe her, every visible area where the rash was noticeable feels violated, but is firm in his hands. It hurts to the point of forgetting about her itch, turning her face away when his was sufficiently near. 

The one called Tobirama is fierce and sees those unexcited eyes show a bit of light that makes her heart race and not in a good way, almost like a mad scientist finding the best mystery that alerts him. “I’m fine. Stay away!”, she snaps, but is honestly not heard when he picks her up with little patience. 

If it weren’t for the fact that she isn’t the romantic type, she would have noticed the position of princess in disress not at all worthy from her point of view. Like before, she tries to fight and kicks, but he squeezes his hands in warning around the areas taken for better access. “[...]” He gives her some words in a warning tone, which makes her angry. 

“You don’t have to take me like that!”, she hits him but without any type of success as she is thrown to the floor without any care. Her butt hurts until ti goes up her back due to the sharp blow. She does not scream... nor does she rub the area to look daggers at the irritated man. 

She has less patience than her assistants when they bathed her, you can tell that. 

“You are so rude!”, she growls scratching. Her anxiety remembered, Karen gets up. She wants to go back but the man takes her by the waist again. She wants to fight, but suddenly darkness comes to her body. 

At least she was unconscious in all the disturbing tests she was subjected to, waking up with lots of ointment and leaves the next day. 

It wasn’t pleasant and Karen thinks it’s not the worst of evils... especially if she confirms that this man is not her favorite person. 

She is sure of it. 

A/N: It’s difficult to adapt to such a complicated and rustic environment. Now that she took that step to understand and even take a bath in that world, Karen put aside her pride risking asking for it. However, it didn’t go in the best way, reminding her that she is still trapped and that this place does not have shampoos, soaps and hygiene products as advanced as we currently have, which caused some type of reaction on her delicate skin.

Surprising her a lot, since according to her she was not allergic to anything, but the world changes and although we do not want to admit it, our generations have it very easy and our skin reacts differently to certain things.

Which means that for now she can concentrate better on other matters, without knowing what doors she opened with that initiative to communicate.

Now... things to mention: Hashirama spelled shower as ‘shawa’, a confusion taking into account the type of phonetics that I imagine in my crazy head. Typical errors in this exchange make the situation a little bearable. Although their accent is complicated, something that Karen will discover little by little.

Thank you for reading and I keep thinking: where will this take us?

Author-chan out! 

[albatmobile]

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[bistaxx]

Hey guys, sorry for vanishing suddenly I just needed to take a bit of a break- I think I'm going to continue to take some time off from here and at most will just lurk around for a bit, not sure how long that'll be.

I'm going to talk a bit about the current situation under the read-more and another post about it scheduled after this one. I'll be using the tag 'the forever situation' for blacklist purposes.

As of right now I don't feel comfortable commenting on it because this is a situation that needs to be handled delicately and I don't want to rush into it. I've been busy with work the past two days and (during the time of me writing this) am about to go into another shift today in a few hours- so I haven't had as much time as I'd like to read about what's going on.

I'm not fluent in Portuguese so I'm going to primarily rely on information provided by Brazilian's in the fandom and their thoughts on the matter- I highly recommend other non-Brazilians do so too- especially regarding anything related to what the victim has said about this. It's important to not be dismissive of what's going, but so is taking the time to understand what happened before commenting on it especially if you don't speak Portuguese.

It's also just a topic that can be hard for me to focus on. I don't feel right discussing why on this blog, all I'll say is that it brings back memories that sometimes make my mind go all blank and foggy. I'll be fine, I just want to take in it at a pace that doesn't cause my brain to shut down every 5 minutes.

I hope you guys understand, I'm terrified of coming across as if I'm ignoring or don't care about what's going on when I very much do. I just don't want mishandle it and it's something that's difficult at times for me to speak about. I have tomorrow off, I'm gonna use that day to look into this all more after getting some rest.

I think there's like an event going on in the server today, but I just want to take today 'off' from qsmp including on Tumblr. I just feel all over the place right now- we'll just have to wait and see how things go I guess. I also just wanna say you guys have been a bright spot in a very rough time of my life, thank you all for that.

I'm writing this very early in the morning. It'll be posted sometime in the afternoon for me. I won't know if anything else has come up since then until tomorrow- I really do hope by the time I log back i we'll have a clearer picture of it all by then...

I'm putting my queue on pause for now too. I don't know for how long, I just want to take a break from here for awhile. Take care <3

[mis4dv3nture]

Demon

Pairing: Rain x anon!Sister of Sin

Word count: 1322

Rating: explicit

Tags: teratophilia, heat, knotting, PiV sex, dirty talking, good old fashioned degradation, breeding kink, just a bit of gill play, rough sex, almost no prepping, mentions of using magik,

MEAN!!! RAIN!!!

A/N: I don't even know why I'm posting this, my fics always get a maximum of 2 notes but huh, enjoy my loyal likers, I love you.

He looked so tired.

She just wanted to help him, she had never seen the water ghoul like that, he must have been in so much pain.

Rain only said he was tired, that he had a long day and just needed some rest.

He couldn't tell her the truth, he was too embarrassed, and she was a human, she couldn't understand it.

<<Rain are you sure you're okay?>> she whispered to him, concerned.

<<Yeah I'll just… lie here ‘til I get better>> he stuttered, throwing himself on his bed.

<<I can stay with you>> she replied <<if you…want to>>

The water ghoul hesitated.

Maybe he actually needed to be alone, he needed to fix his problem by himself. She couldn't stay with him, what if she found out?

But he really wanted her company. And, just because she was a human, she couldn't notice anything about what was happening to him.

<<Sure>> he answered with a soft smile after a few seconds.

The Sister of Sin looked pretty happy.

She sat on the bed next to him, Rain immediately threw a blanket over himself.

<<You just told me you feel like shit…>> she talked with a thoughtful tone <<…but where does it hurt? What's the problem?>>

Rain immediately panicked.

<<Oh it's… well…>> he desperately tried to stay calm <<some abdominal pain, you know…>>

The Sister of Sin answered with a concerned look, she didn't talk back.

They kept chatting for a while.

She didn't seem to notice anything, Rain was relieved by that.

Then she randomly started breathing heavier, her cheeks flushed with red.

<<Hey, what's wrong?>> he immediately got worried.

<<I don't know>> the Sister of Sin looked incredibly confused <<it suddenly started getting hot and I feel weird, I don't know what's going on>>

<<But you're a human! It can't affect you!>> the ghoul answered without thinking, he immediately slapped a hand on his mouth as soon as he realised.

<<Affect me?>> she asked furrowing her brow.

<<It's just… I mean, it…>>

<<Rain, what the hell is going on?>> she interruppted him.

The water ghoul blushed. He couldn't hide it anymore.

<<Rain…>> her voice reduced to a whisper <<…are you in heat?>>

He shyly nodded, hiding his face behind his hands.

<<But why didn't you tell me?>> she asked him as she started slowly caressing his hips <<You know I can help you with that>>

<<I don't want you to get hurt…>> he muttered, still trying to hide <<humans are fragile, you are fragile…>>

The Sister of Sin gently pushed his hands away from his face to look at him in the eyes, he looked insanely pretty all embarrassed like that. She caressed one of his horns, he shivered at the sensation.

<<Oh please, I've done it before, I can…>>

<<It's not the same during heats>> he interrupted her.

She gave him a curious look.

<<I use to get more… rough>> he explained, whispering because of the embarrassment <<once I start it's difficult for me to stop… it would really be dangerous for you>>

The ghoul paused for a few seconds. He didn't realise how hard he was in his jeans.

She kept gently rubbing at the base of his horns, making him let out a soft purr, he was insanely sensitive there.

<<You're not gonna hurt me>> she answered after a few seconds <<please, Rain…>>

The Sister of Sin looked at him in the eyes, she looked desperate. Knowing about his heat was making her incredibly wet.

<<…Rain, I want you so fucking bad right now…>>

And he snapped.

He pushed her against the mattress, ripping off her uniform, frenetically unzipping his pants to free himself.

<<Is this what you want?>> he spat out, throwing his shirt on the floor <<You got horny ‘cause I'm in heat, right?>>

The ghoul barely gave her the time to think, he wrapped his tail around her thigh to spread her legs wide open, then shoved two fingers inside of her.

<<Yeah you really got horny, look at how wet you are>> he teased her, smearing her own slick across her face <<You like fucking demons huh? You filthy monsterfucker>>

She answered with a choked moan, completely drunk in lust.

<<I'll give you what you want>> he kept spitting venomous words, stroking himself with her slick <<gonna fucking knot you ‘til you cry>>

The Sister of Sin whined at those words, she had never seen him like that. Rain was always so sweet, a lovely and shy ghoul who blushed at compliments and loved cuddles. But seeing him like this was breathtaking. She actually really enjoyed this version of the water ghoul.

Without any warning he pushed himself all inside of her all at once, the Sister of Sin let out a cry.

<<What's wrong, huh? You want me to be more gentle?>> he asked her sarcastically.

<<Fuck… fucking use me…>> was all she managed to answer before starting to embarrassly moan again as Rain's thrusts got faster.

<<Oh, I surely will>> he answered with a smirk, squeezing her breast with his hand <<you said you wanted to help with my heat, right? Now be a good whore>>

His tail’s grip on her thigh got tighter, he started playing with her nipple, making her throb all over his length at that stimulation.

She gave him a better look. He was gorgeous, his gray blue skin all flushed with cerulean, those deep ocean blue eyes looking at her with lust, his fangs buried in his lower lip, his perfect sharp horns, and his gills…

Sure, his horns were really sensitive, she only touched them a few times and it was enough to make him rock hard. But his gills were even more sensitive. She gently brushed them with her fingers, the water ghoul moaned a loud curse.

<<Shit, did I hurt you?>> she immediately got worried.

<<Keep going, fuck keep going…>> he whimpered as he kept frenetically thrusting inside of her.

The Sister of Sin had no choice but to obey.

His knot started to swell, the water ghoul bit his lip with a groan.

<<Ever been knotted before?>> he asked with a teasing voice.

She shook her head, her breathing got even heavier than it already was, the water ghoul answered with a grin.

<<Fuck you're so tight>> he moaned, closing his eyes <<gonna lock you on my dick for a while>>

<<Do it>> she suddenly answered <<c’mon Rainy, give me your kits>>

That was enough to make him cum, harder than even he was expecting.

And as his knot popped up and hit her sweet spot one last time, she immediately followed him.

It felt insanely good, even if it hurt a bit, but the sensation of being so stuffed with him really made her legs shake just at the thought for months. And knowing she was also getting filled with his cum (she could literally feel him shooting deep inside of her) was only making the situation more exciting.

Rain smiled, he took a few deep breaths. He touched her lower belly with the tips of his fingers, feeling the shape of his own dick buried inside of her.

<<Sure this is your first time? You take me incredibly well>> he chuckled as his knot started deflating.

The Sister of Sin rolled her eyes, she answered with an embarrassed smile.

<<How are you feeling now?>> she asked while he carefully pulled out his dick from her.

<<Much better, but you know, heats are strong…>> he answered sliding his hand down her belly to slowly start teasing her clit <<and well, since you like fucking demons and you really seemed to enjoy my knot… let me show you my water magik then… you're definitely gonna like it.>>

[tailoroffates]

About this blog...

This blog was made to tell fantasy stories and talk about the struggles of anxiety, be it minor or severe. The majority of what you'll see here will likely be the former, however, there will also be posts about tips for those who struggle with anxiety as well. To find these posts search for the tag. "Anxiety tips."

Anything else you need to know about this blog is below, so if you're interested read on. :D

In a world once used as a battleground by the divines, the Guardians of Eden banded several ancient races together to place a multidimensional lock on the gateway linking all realms. The gods were physically sealed within their own realms and the mortals were left to pick up their pieces.

During the War of Gods, the divines fought as titans. Massive deities kicked holes through mountains, splashed the sea onto the mainland, and devastated mortals throughout Eden. Two races went extinct and the continents were left forever changed

Centuries later, the threat of a second coming arises when the lock securing the Omni Gate begins to crack, however, the world is divided. It's up to Danny, the last Guardian, and their friends to ally the armies of Eden's races before the lock on the Omni Gate breaks.

Meet the protagonists! (or at least the ones I've had time to draw :P)

The lady on the left is Karma, the last Guardian of Eden. The spitfire in the middle is Freitza, a Valkorri who is a savant with Pyromancy, and the one on young'un on the right is Danny. A Terranian who is adept with Geomancy and struggles against a curse he doesn't understand.

This is the main party of protagonists in The Garden That Burned series in the year 6276 TN.

I intend to release 3 different book series based in the same world in order to tell the full story. Though the timelines of the stories told will vary. The series will be released in the following order:

The Garden That Burned - The second coming of the War of Gods. I'll be releasing 5 books in this series. The first is in its final editing process right now and the second has already been started. I originally intended to release 3 books in the TGTB series, but it turns out I'm way too overopinionated to have only 3, so... Yeah...

The Rise & Fall - This series will be about the rise and fall of the Guardians of Eden. You'll learn why they broke apart and sneaky, hidden secrets about the next series. I hope to release 3 books in the TRAF series, but I only wanted three in TGTB and it ended up 5 books, so I don't know guys. I just don't know :P

Eldergenesis - This series can't be elaborated on right now because y'all haven't read the first two series and this one has spoilers :O This one will likely be 5 books. EG will tie all three series together.

To find any content in this blog related to these series, search for the tags TGTB, TRAF, and EG.

My actual name is Kat, but I go by TailorOfFates because I like to think that's what we do as writers. We tailor the fates of the characters we create. I struggle pretty often with anxiety, but I'm getting better at working through it. I'd consider myself an amateur writer so far, but my dream is to make a career of writing so I intend to keep at it until I can share my stories with all who will hear them. I've written as a hobby since I was young, and if I wasn't writing, I was drawing. It was sort of a pass time until I was around 21 years old. At that point in my life, I had (quite suddenly) developed agoraphobia. For 4 years I didn't leave my house, not even to enter the backyard. And if I did, I would experience severe panic attacks which usually led to fainting spells. It was a difficult period in my life, but one thing I discovered was that my hobby of writing had actually become therapeutic. It was at that time that I began to study psychology and anxiety to try and learn why my mind was rejecting the world around me. As a self-assigned therapy test, I told myself that I was going to create my own world. One where I knew the rules and I set the laws. Whenever I felt the anxiety coming on I would try and create something new. New flora, fauna, natural laws, magic systems, characters, solar systems, races, etc... Then, I was going to write a story in that setting. Don't get me wrong, I understand the difference between reality and fantasy, but this practice did actually help me feel better. Eventually, a friend of mine noticed my binder and a half worth of content and told me that I should create a D&D homebrew campaign with it. So I did. It was hard at first as I struggle with anxiety when all attention is on me, but I truly believe this helped me start coming back out of my shell. Once the campaign ended, it had gone so well that I decided I was going to build my own TTRPG inspired by D&D, and that's what led me here. Now I'm trying to learn how to be social again :P

My dream is to share my stories and one day make enough funds to create a fully immersive, open-world RPG PC game. Then I could actually be a part of the world I tailored :D

Closing Comments

If you have any questions or concerns don't hesitate to ask me about it. If you'd like to know more about the world the book series is based on then click the link below to check out some articles. https://www.worldanvil.com/w/The%20Garden%20that%20Burned Be warned, I'm not done adding things so it's a bit messy, and it's not formatted well for mobile yet because I suck with coding :P (it'll still work on mobile, it just won't look as good).

[loveydoveylex]

i see your post in the tags sometimes, thanks for being so open about not being comfy sharing /gen. i suspect myself as having bpd (yet to get checked) which if true would obviously affect me and the way i view things. its difficult to see people talk about how its “selfish” and “unfair” over fictional characters, knowing i did not choose to feel or react this way towards it. it makes me feel better about myself to know i’m not alone, and that its not like a bad thing to experience. so, thank you :)

awwh, hello anon! thank you so much for your kind words - I'm incredibly happy to know my posts can make you feel better about it. 🥺 I feel you, it seems there's been a lot of negativity in the tag lately regarding being uncomfortable sharing f/os. it gets tiring having to read about how we're being 'selfish' or 'gatekeeping' over and over and over again. like... of course, right, sorry, I forgot this is social media where it's considered selfish to have boundaries 😑

and if it's not direct in-your-face negativity it's people still trying to subtly make us feel bad. I have no idea where all of this suddenly came from or why there's been such a wave of it lately but it sucks.

here's your reminder that there's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to share - it doesn't make you selfish, it's not "unfair" to others. you're allowed to curate your internet experience how you want; that's what things like blocking and tag filtering are for! you don't have to tolerate something if it makes you uncomfortable.

we form such personal relationships with our f/os over time that it's perfectly understandable to not like having to see others view them in the same way. it's okay to feel that way! people have Emotions. we aren't computers.

can it seem silly to other people? sure, maybe. but I'll guarantee that almost everyone has something silly that makes them uncomfortable. we can't exactly control our discomforts!

please remember that your f/o(s) love you! you're valid 💖

[go-learn-esperanto]

Hi there! I know that this is really out of the blue but im asking for a favor or some help w/ my cats current medical needs. Please if you have an extra time to boost/share it for us so that we could get some traction or it could reach more people, it would definitely help a ton! I understand if its not okay, Im so sorry for taking some of your time and I wish you to be safe and healthy always, xx.(Please considering answering my ask privately or probably hit me a msg if its fine! 😭🙏

Hi! I will choose to not reblog it and I will give exactly the reason why so in case you are a genuine person you might get the problem and be able to address it and give a reason as to why you just have a blog that is just like any other scam asking for help.

You have posted the post about your cats on February 3rd

Nothing strange there.

Now your blog is very bare bones. It doesn't even have the custom Tumblr URL showing up. No theme. Just an icon, banner and description.

Again... Not that strange on it's own. But! You have archive disabled.

Which seemingly stops me from checking when your first post was created. But in the end that's not necessary because scrolling down a bit makes me able to find it easily. Too easily.

Posted on... February 3rd. The exact same day the post asking for help was created. In fact not even an hour before your asking for help post. And this is not a side blog. You sent me an ask after all.

You know how many scam financial aid stuff I get in my inbox? I reblogged stuff that ended up being a scam before. At this point I only reblog after doing a bit of a check.

Because you know, there are real people in need of help, people I will look and have old Tumblr blogs with posts of their own and clear interests. Not some reblogged posts of what's on the popular tags and suddenly a post asking for help.

Your blog looks like many scam blogs exploiting the kindness of people who want to help. Why would you have a need of making a whole new Tumblr account with a new email, reblogging some random posts before posting a post asking for monetary aid not even 20 minutes later?

And you only want people to answer to your ask privately. You don't want it to be known you asked for it. Because if I just reblogged your post it would seem more trust worthy. I reblogged a post from the source. "Maybe they even know the person" my followers might think. You even followed me because I will be so much more willing to reblog it if it means I get a new follower who's definitely interested on hearing me talk about Minecraft YouTubers on the daily.

And I'm sorry if you're telling the truth and I sound cruel (And I hope your cat gets well soon if that's the case) but... I don't feel well making my followers possibly giving money to a possible scam because I promoted it. You have to prove to be an actual blog, genuine person, for me to actual consider reblogging a post asking for money.

And in part I am answering this because your post seems ok. Believable. But I also know the ability of Tumblr scammers I have fallen for some beforehand. Because even though your cat pictures seem to have originated on your post that doesn't really change much because I could share a photo that I took of a cat last week, that was never on the internet, and do this

I am so sorry to have to ask for this but my cat, Plinko, had to go to the vet because he was breathing weird.

Now the doctor has said we need to do more tests and with possible medication it can be quite a lot of money.

I am asking for $300 for now but things might get worse. :(

So please if you can help (you don't have to) it would be really appreciated if you helped with the costs. 💜

Ca$happ: xxxxxxx

It's not difficult. The certificate you showed? Not difficult to make in Word. There's not a single signature from a veterinarian (which you could fake anyway), neither a stamp (more difficult to fake)

This logo is available online in a transparent format.

So is this one...

[bi-polar-geminii]

i don’t mean what i’m saying with malice, however, can you please stop putting all your inbox asks regarding the issue of listener designs on the main tag. i understand you want people to know about this issue (if this is your intention), but all you’re doing is making the artists who draw as a hobby feel bad, and just adding negativity to the main tag. i understand how it feels to not see yourself represented, but that’s where you come in. for those wanting rep, you can either draw it yourself or if you can’t draw it and are so adamant on wanting rep, commission and support an artist! consistently complaining won’t get anything done but draw artists away from the fandom itself and make art we see for these characters we all love become sparse and less.

additionally, listeners, at the end of the day, are us. if an artist is an afab female, chances are that listener will also be an afab female. some artists may not draw pocs not because they just don’t want to, but because they aren’t well-versed in depicting their features and don’t want to do it an injustice. there’s no need to rush to the worst possible and negative explanation. i have never seen myself represented in a single piece of redacted fanart, however i know better than to just nonsensically complain about it — because complaining won’t get anything done (it’ll only do more harm if anything).

thank you for making your points known, and i hope what i’m saying comes across to you as i intended it to

Out of respect, I did remove the unnecessary posts from the tags bc they did clog up the main tag (my bad, but also if its that bothersome, you can literally scroll past it, your not obligated to read everything)

I’m not slamming anyone or shaming people, that was never the intention here. It was to make light on how some artists choose to make characters (not self inserts) white simply bc of mainstream/kinda racist ideas that characters in media can only be portrayed as white to be popular or liked bc of white beauty standards. I want people to reflect and think about that, but I never said ppl *couldn’t* make them white or afab. Im not trying to gatekeep or force people to suddenly get rid of all their white characters just bc i said there isn’t enough representation

Also *I do* have characters for fandom rep, I have lots of them. The only reason why I don’t post them is because they aren’t finished yet. But what’s wrong with having an opinion on something? You have to admit, people wouldn’t be in my inbox telling that *I* have to create the representation needed and that my opinion is hurting everyone’s feelings if I was a white creator. Just think about that

Also im sorry but the whole “some ppl dont draw poc characters cause they dont know how to!” is an argument thats just very fucking tiring to hear. It truly isn’t that hard, like im being serious. There are *a lot* of free recourses out there to learn if your super keen on learning how to draw the different ethnic facial features. But if you wanna create a black/brown person for example, this is what you do; draw the character, make their skin color a darker brown. Congratulations! You’ve made a poc character! Ladies and gentlemen its really not that difficult, if your not willing to challenge yourself on how to draw different types of people or your too scared to- its gonna stunt your growth as an artist

This was the first time I opened up about an opinion I had seeing in this fandom, so idk what you mean by ‘consistently complaining’ when this whole situation has only happened once (for me)

[occulticvioletdepths]

so what do those weird words in your bio and pinned post mean?

I am glad you asked. It is, however, difficult to give a full explanation on it, but I'll try my best.

It's an ancient language. A finding that I, and a very close group of confidants have made - a (sadly, likely bastardized) version of what we theorize to be some sort of "song-language of the world". It was written in some sort of proto-Unown script, in a few tablets across the world. We sadly don't know much about the civilisation that made it, or its culture, so deciphering it was... a daunting task, especially when the language differs... verily, from our own.

Each letter has a meaning onto themselves, and the sentences it produces are very... interpretive, not to mention - different spellings can literally mean the same thing. Now, I don't want to spoil all the fun and tell you the meanings of each letter so you can decipher all of it in one instant, but I'll give you a translation of a small thing, below the cut.

Just so I don't suddenly flood the tags.

"tsgg zaggir togvb" - "I request my punishment, the holy destruction of my life, if I commit the wicked act of destroying the joy of the world".

This is an oath I took. While this is something I hold very dear to me, it's also a perfect thing to dissect, to understand it.

"tsgg" means "I request my punishment" in this interpretation. T means oneself, the one speaking. S means a wish, a request, a beseechment.. G stands for "punishment" - but it could also mean "destruction" or "curse". "tsgg" could just as easily be a request for punishment as it could be a request for one's own annihilation. (For the record, "tggs" would likely also have been correct.)

You certainly have noticed the double letter. It's to denote some sort of importance, some sort of emphasis. Capital letters in this language also contribute to that.

"zaggir" means "the holy destruction of (my) life." It's a bit of a shortened translation. Z refers to the "divine", A means "power", I is "holy", and R means life. A more correct translation would be "divine power's destruction - which is holy - upon (my) life".

I didn't specify the destruction on myself, true - but remember, it's interpretive. It knows I mean myself, so you don't really have to specify it constantly.

"togvb", "(if) I commit the wicked act of destroying the joy of the world". The language has no word or letter for "if", so it's implied. Again, interpretation is the key here. Continuing - O means "evil, wicked, malicious", and all that good stuff. V means "joy, happiness", and B refers to "society", or a broader "the world" - the latter of which is being used here. Now, "joy of the world" is very... vague, don't you think? Well, in this case - it refers to Pokémon. Very poetic, no? Again, the language is something that requires alot of interpretation.

It's a wonderful language, but horrible for day to day communication. With the non-requirement of vowels for words, some words may come out rather unusual, in the spoken word. Believe it or not, how you say it seems also to be, well, "to be interpreted". The people that spoke this language also believed "the world would understand it anyway".

Whether this language had any success in its intended endeavors - to "speak to the world", is... not something that can be concretely proven. But that is exactly why I use it.

I wish to know more about our wonderful world, to experience it and understand it is a joy beyond all other joys. However, some things can't be explained by science alone. If this language truly has the capability to speak to the world, that would be a practically unexplainable miracle. Clearly, the civilisation that used it considered it important, or even effective enough to keep using it, and the fact that a few tablets were found across the world says quite a bit about these people, that they lived long enough to spread it across a fair bit of the globe.

Perhaps I am merely superstitious. But in a world where some of the dead don't truly die, where creatures can attack eachother with psychic power - where even a very small amount of us humans can lift small items with psychic power through rigorous training, where divination is possible, too - I wouldn't say I'd consider it impossible that words can not only convey information to other humans, but to the world itself.

Either way, we call it "World's Conveyance" since we thought it sounded cool. Presentation is important, of course.

[lovecolibri]

Any thoughts about why the 911 fandom has shockingly (at least to me) high levels of multishipping/willingness to drop Buddie as soon as new female love interests enter the picture? It's unlike any other fandom that I've participated in, truly. I'm not like...outrageously pissed because I recognize that this is a fictional show and I have real-life issues that take priority, lol. Buuut I'm about as pissed as I ever let myself get over fictional shows.

The reaction of so many "Buddie shippers" to Buck and Eddie's new love interests has been like cold water thrown on my face. I've seen people quite literally abandoning ship, even though we know practically nothing about these new characters and haven't even seen them interact with the guys, all because they are conventionally attractive??? I thought that people were joking at first, but now I'm seeing very earnest threads on Twitter and posts here on Tumblr about how these women are so hot and funny and sweet, and they'll make peace with no Buddie because of the "happiness" that these women will bring to Buck and Eddie. Whaaaat. Am I living in La La Land for finding this EXTREMELY strange??? We haven't even seen Natalia with Buck, or Eddie with Marisol, and we got, like, 2 minutes of Eddie with the other lady. Was it unpleasant like Eddie and Ana? No. But was it truly compelling, or moving, or anywhere in the vicinity of a Buck scene? FUCK NO.

At the very least, I wonder why these people are still blogging and tweeting Buddie content, why they still consider themselves Buddie shippers, when they've admitted that they'd be perfectly content to sacrifice years of Buddie potential and development for virtually unknown women. The reality is that heterosexual ships nearly always win out - especially on network TV - and seeing these people align with that against a same-sex ship? It gives me an extremely icky feeling. And if you point out that this is odd, you're suddenly accused of misogyny? Again, whaaaat. I'm having flashbacks to BuckTaylor, when a bunch of people jumped ship but quickly realized that there was NOTHING to work with, and tried to come back to Buddie. Maybe it's the same people doing this now! But God, if it's this annoying before we even meet the women, I can't imagine what it'll be like when they ctually enter the picture. I've already unfollowed 20 people and see that list only growing. Cultivate your experience, sure. But it's kind of sad because I tried to do that in the first place. Anyway, I've been pretty shocked by how quickly some people have turned on Buddie.

First of all, I will say some people are perfectly happy multi-shipping and that's fine! It's absolutely not for me personally with a couple I'm invested in (or for you apparently) but some people are happy going with the flow and there's nothing wrong or bad about it. They can still like Buddie and share Buddie content from a fandom perspective and be interested to see where the actual show is going with different couples. I don't get it, it's not how I engage, but I'm not going to tell other people their way of engaging isn't right, or that they can't share Buddie content at all if they are okay with Buck or Eddie ending up with someone else.

With that said, I completely understand how it can be difficult to see especially against a mlm couple that the show doesn't seem to want to commit to, but also refuses to clearly state it WON'T happen while paralleling them to the other couples instead of the other friendships on the show.

For me, I've been leery of following blogs since my season 2 RNM days which was lot of mass unfollowing, and again when I let my guard down and had followed a bunch of people and then s5 and LD happened. So instead of following a lot of blogs, I prefer to go to the search page in tumblr and just do "911". No hashtag so sometimes I get irrelevant things that were just tagged something like "hello 911? I'd like to report a murder" but it gives me things tagged with all variations of 911, 911 on fox, 911 tv etc, as well as LS content AND the search will not pull posts that have a tag you have blocked! So I have blocked tags for characters/ship I do not like, I have blocked anit-tags for characters/ships I love, and then I can see if someone posts content I enjoy but don't see any content they post that I don't like. I don't need to follow everyone or see everything on my dash because some blogs are multi-fandom for something I don't like, or some blogs post about characters I don't like, but not enough for me to want to block them entirely. And sometimes I don't want to block a blog that posts buddie fics I like, but I DON'T want to see other fics about characters I hate.

Filters are EVERYTHING and I think it's important to know you don't HAVE to follow blogs to see their content, you can just go into the search! You could do "buddie" instead of 911 and get similar results, even more so because it won't be pulling as much generic 911 stuff. I already filtered out the "Natalia" tag AND put it in my filtered post content just because FOR ME, I don't want it in the search, AND for people I DO follow, when that filtered post comes up on my dash I want to see which blog is posting about it and what my personal emotional state is in before I choose if I want to see the post or not. I'll probably remove the filter at some point, we literally know nothing about the character, but right now I'm not in a place I want to see it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ And that's okay! There is a lot of relief at knowing it's not going to sneak up on me unprepared. That's how I am currently curating my experience in full, not just my dash and I HIGHLY recommend it. Some people won't tag for things which is why the "filtered post content" is great, and I have also started using the "find in page" option on fics so I don't get jumpscared with an untagged character appearance.

So hopefully these options are helpful! It's what works for me, and while I do still block blogs occasionally, I'm also not going to be going to every blog and researching every opinion they've ever had before deciding on reblogging from them. I do often now do a *little* checking before I decide to follow a blog, but that takes spoons so typically I just stick with reblogging from the search and then checking my dash when my brain isn't in hyperfocus on 911 mode.

(so if you've ever followed me and I reblog from you and never followed back, this is why. I'm a little shy about following back after my bad experiences and don't always remember to check out a blog that follows me in order to decide to follow back AND/OR I see your posts in the search all the time so I forget that I don't actually follow you 🤷🏻‍♀️)

I hope you find some peace on your dash nonnie, but don't feel like you have to give up on seeing some good Buddie content from blogs just because they post other stuff you don't want to see. Filter that shit out and enjoy the Buddie stuff! Whether that means unfollowing and just seeing their posts in other reblogs or the search, or being fine with following and just scrolling past the "this post contains filtered content" notifications, whatever works for you! (I personally end up clicking the "see post" option and always end up as the dead dove meme, so unfollowing and just using the search works best for me since I have no self control.)

[fenharel-apologist94]

WIP Wednesday!

Thank you for the tag @transprincecaspian! I didn't want to overload the original post by @melisusthewee, but you should go check it out to not only see her lovely OC, Quinn, but also to see hopefully see who else is doing creative work in the DA community!

Annnndddd of course I'm working on Tea Leaves and Sweet Dreams ;w; What can I say, I am compelled by two nerds who are terrible at understanding emotions. and by procrastinating writing the second to last chapter of NADAF shhhhhhh

TLSD preview - Chapter 5: Honey Chamomile

Kieran mulled over this new information as they rounded down the last block to his apartment. 

“What compelled you to keep applying, if it was so difficult to get in?” He asked.

“I love studying the Fade.”

“It’s as simple as that?”

Solas inclined his head. “It’s as simple as that.”

“Wasn’t it hard to get rejected so often?” During his application process, Kieran had been anxious to the point of nausea at the thought of receiving just one rejection letter. 

“I won’t deny that it was, but not being able to pursue what I loved was even harder.” Solas’ gaze drifted ahead of them as he lost himself in thought. “There’s so much to learn about the Fade, and so few have ever truly done it justice. To play a role in developing that knowledge…I can think of no greater calling.”

From the conviction in his voice, Kieran had no doubt that Solas believed that to be true. Unconsciously, he muttered, “I envy that.” 

“I’m sorry?” Solas refocused on him, making him aware that he had spoken out loud. Shit.

“I-I mean, it’s amazing you’ve found something you’re so passionate about,” he stammered. He added honestly, “I can’t say I feel that way about anything myself.”

Several moments passed before Kieran realized that Solas had drawn to a halt. Confused as to what he had paused for, Kieran turned to face him. He regarded Kieran with the same expression as one would a complicated puzzle, his mouth pulled into a frown and his brows knit tightly together. The sun had fully vanished now, leaving the streets dark except the warm glow of street lamps. 

He had the distinct impression of being cornered, despite open, empty streets around them. An obscure feeling, small and fearful, tightened in the depths of Kieran’s gut.

“You do have a passion,” Solas said simply, as if declaring the weather. 

The feeling snapped, like a bowstring drawn too taunt. Keiran whirled back around and began walking again, this time quicker than before. He could hear Solas hastily following suit. 

“Kieran,” he tried again, “you do have a passion. I’ve seen it – when you talk about magic theory.” 

He knew his reaction was a bit much, but he didn’t want to stop. He didn’t even know why. Normally, he would just brush off such a statement. But for some reason, it was because of Solas. Kieran couldn’t get home fast enough. 

“That’s not a passion.” The word felt foul on his tongue. The ghost of memories flickered in the back of his mind, and he moved faster to banish them. “I have to care about magic theory because it’s part of my degree.”

“That’s not true.” Solas’ breath was coming out short in his efforts to keep up with Kieran. His own breath burned iron in his throat. They must be a sight, he thought, as they both rushed down the stone path. 

When Kieran didn’t slow down, Solas made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. Suddenly, Kieran was being turned around by a hand on his wrist. 

His heart leapt into his mouth. At first, all he could see were Solas’ eyes, their amber-gray depths alight with a curiosity that set his every nerve aflame. 

“If that were true, then explain to me why you came into the lab today,” Solas demanded. “You’re exhausted. You have midterm exams tomorrow. You could have been resting or studying and you still came to the lab.”

Kieran couldn’t help but flinch, and Solas’ grip on his wrist tightened. It wasn’t a hostile gesture — rather, it was grounding, if insistent. Conflicting emotions, both old and new, warred within the confines of Kieran’s chest. 

This is so dumb, he chided himself angrily. You should have just laughed this off like you always do. 

So why didn’t you? 

“I don't understand why you’re so avoidant about this,” Solas breathed. 

Kieran hunched inwards despite himself. The words slipped from the heart that sat heavily on his tongue before he could stop them. 

“Why would you? We barely know each other.” 

ALMOST FORGOT THE TAGS! I tag @nightmarist, @tsuraiwrites, and @theleadcinnabon if they'd like to share anything - always no pressure (and if you don't want to be tagged in things, let me know in a DM! :) )