#thank you again cas <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[fenharel-apologist94]

WIP Wednesday!

Thank you for the tag @transprincecaspian! I didn't want to overload the original post by @melisusthewee, but you should go check it out to not only see her lovely OC, Quinn, but also to see hopefully see who else is doing creative work in the DA community!

Annnndddd of course I'm working on Tea Leaves and Sweet Dreams ;w; What can I say, I am compelled by two nerds who are terrible at understanding emotions. and by procrastinating writing the second to last chapter of NADAF shhhhhhh

TLSD preview - Chapter 5: Honey Chamomile

Kieran mulled over this new information as they rounded down the last block to his apartment. 

“What compelled you to keep applying, if it was so difficult to get in?” He asked.

“I love studying the Fade.”

“It’s as simple as that?”

Solas inclined his head. “It’s as simple as that.”

“Wasn’t it hard to get rejected so often?” During his application process, Kieran had been anxious to the point of nausea at the thought of receiving just one rejection letter. 

“I won’t deny that it was, but not being able to pursue what I loved was even harder.” Solas’ gaze drifted ahead of them as he lost himself in thought. “There’s so much to learn about the Fade, and so few have ever truly done it justice. To play a role in developing that knowledge…I can think of no greater calling.”

From the conviction in his voice, Kieran had no doubt that Solas believed that to be true. Unconsciously, he muttered, “I envy that.” 

“I’m sorry?” Solas refocused on him, making him aware that he had spoken out loud. Shit.

“I-I mean, it’s amazing you’ve found something you’re so passionate about,” he stammered. He added honestly, “I can’t say I feel that way about anything myself.”

Several moments passed before Kieran realized that Solas had drawn to a halt. Confused as to what he had paused for, Kieran turned to face him. He regarded Kieran with the same expression as one would a complicated puzzle, his mouth pulled into a frown and his brows knit tightly together. The sun had fully vanished now, leaving the streets dark except the warm glow of street lamps. 

He had the distinct impression of being cornered, despite open, empty streets around them. An obscure feeling, small and fearful, tightened in the depths of Kieran’s gut.

“You do have a passion,” Solas said simply, as if declaring the weather. 

The feeling snapped, like a bowstring drawn too taunt. Keiran whirled back around and began walking again, this time quicker than before. He could hear Solas hastily following suit. 

“Kieran,” he tried again, “you do have a passion. I’ve seen it – when you talk about magic theory.” 

He knew his reaction was a bit much, but he didn’t want to stop. He didn’t even know why. Normally, he would just brush off such a statement. But for some reason, it was because of Solas. Kieran couldn’t get home fast enough. 

“That’s not a passion.” The word felt foul on his tongue. The ghost of memories flickered in the back of his mind, and he moved faster to banish them. “I have to care about magic theory because it’s part of my degree.”

“That’s not true.” Solas’ breath was coming out short in his efforts to keep up with Kieran. His own breath burned iron in his throat. They must be a sight, he thought, as they both rushed down the stone path. 

When Kieran didn’t slow down, Solas made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. Suddenly, Kieran was being turned around by a hand on his wrist. 

His heart leapt into his mouth. At first, all he could see were Solas’ eyes, their amber-gray depths alight with a curiosity that set his every nerve aflame. 

“If that were true, then explain to me why you came into the lab today,” Solas demanded. “You’re exhausted. You have midterm exams tomorrow. You could have been resting or studying and you still came to the lab.”

Kieran couldn’t help but flinch, and Solas’ grip on his wrist tightened. It wasn’t a hostile gesture — rather, it was grounding, if insistent. Conflicting emotions, both old and new, warred within the confines of Kieran’s chest. 

This is so dumb, he chided himself angrily. You should have just laughed this off like you always do. 

So why didn’t you? 

“I don't understand why you’re so avoidant about this,” Solas breathed. 

Kieran hunched inwards despite himself. The words slipped from the heart that sat heavily on his tongue before he could stop them. 

“Why would you? We barely know each other.” 

ALMOST FORGOT THE TAGS! I tag @nightmarist, @tsuraiwrites, and @theleadcinnabon if they'd like to share anything - always no pressure (and if you don't want to be tagged in things, let me know in a DM! :) )

[lurakha]

FAR CRY 5 (∞)

[morrigan-sims]

who says adventurers can't dress cute?

aka: "I spent almost three hours giving Zen new outfits and took 140 screenshots of them."

[l-e-i-k-o]

𝒮𝒾𝓂 𝑅𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉 for @invisiblequeen ≽^•⩊•^≼

[jtl-fics]

math nerd ft riko again pretty please

WIP Wednesday 8/23/23 (Open) | Math Nerd AU

Riko endures the treatment. His pride stings far more than any injury his uncle had given him. He feels like he's lost. Like Neil Josten has won some unspoken and unknown battle between them. He wants to grab the other Striker by the hair and slam his head into the ground. Wants to wrap his hands around his throat. Wants to take the IcyHot and squeeze it into-

"Did he hit you anywhere else?" Neil asks looking at Riko with blue eyes that are looking straight into his. Eyes that are looking at Riko and not the Captain of the Ravens Riko Moriyama.

He forces his hands to remain at his side.

"No." He answers and it is a lie and Neil nods so Riko lets himself feel like it's at least a certain kind of victory over Neil Josten. He feels the bruises on his ribs ache all the sharper now that his legs are being soothed.

"Ok," Neil puts everything back into the first aid kit he had brought. "I'm going to leave this here." he says and sets the first aid kit down on Kevin's bed.

Riko's temper flares.

[thebirdarts]

Hair down Cecio<3

[teddybeartoji]

kitty asmr to help with eeps

THIS IS THE BEST ASMR EVERRR ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING MEE IT'S SO FUCKING CUTEEEEEE:((((((((((((((((((( i will . be using this every night from now on this will do wonders for me i think hell it might even fix me all together this is fucking amazing lmao THANK YOU FOR THISSS ILOVE KITTIES I LOVE PURRING I LOVE ASMR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[casart]

hi I love LOVE your art it’s always so pretty and nice and the style is amazing top to bottom.

I was wondering what your art process is like if you don’t mind me asking?

Thank you kindly!! I appreciate you taking the time to leave such a sweet msg, made me smile (*´∀`*) ~☆

As for art process I think I’m a bit disorganised ^^;; usually my pieces focus on some kinda lighting or expression/movement. I’m a fan of symbolism whether overtly or more covert (types of flowers used, placement of piercings, colours, body language etc.) so I like including those when I can

Usually my inspiration will come from what I want the focal point to be first; like an item, an outfit, an emotion etc. From there I mess around w poses w the idea of where the light will be coming from as I like adding glow wherever I can uwu My sketches are extremely messy lol but I find that’s the way for me at least to get the fluidity I’m trying for. If I focus too much on proper posing my art becomes stiff, so I like to be messy and loopy and then pick whatever lines stand out strongest amongst the scribbles to outline lol

Poses and expressions are often the longest part for me, but once I’m satisfied colouring is easy. From the sketch to final, usually the mouth, hands and eyes changed at least six times;;;

For colouring; I’m very much partial to limited colours in pieces. One character usually has a palette of six or less colours that are repeated throughout the piece. The overlay gradient I typically add gives the illusion of different shades, but yet a lot of my pieces are less than ten colours whole. To pick palettes, I rely on [split] complementary and analogous colours.

I hope this makes sense! Sometimes I also just draw dumb doodles that are so hideous I hide them in shame but eventually will attempt a redraw months later. Sometimes that pause/art block/frustration w current skill level is also necessary part of the process (๑¯ω¯๑)

[alltimefail-sims]

📩 Simblr question of the day: What is the *one* most important feature you believe should be part of the next iteration of the sims at the core (on launch day)? @simblr-question-of-the-day

This is honestly a really difficult question because there are several features that, in my opinion, should be a part of the core game and not behind an expansion or 10-years-in update lol. That being said, I think I'm going to go with a broad demand - fully fledged-out CAS - which would entail things like:

All life stages incorporated from the start (none of that tosh about adding toddlers/infants into the game years after launch.)

A substantial amount of traits to choose from; I also wouldn't be upset if we could give our sim a zodiac sign, like in previous iterations of the game.

Likes/Dislikes and Turn-Ons/Turn-Offs

Pronouns and Sexual Preferences

The ability to set familial and romantic relationships

A wide variety of skintones and hair textures from the jump (frankly skintones should just have some kind of color wheel function in my opinion)

Disability Aids

Features like vitiligo, birthmarks, body hair, etc.

I think that's a reasonable demand as all of these have been base game updates during TS4's run and, if I'm remembering correctly, many of these thing were a part of TS2 and TS3's core when they launched.

In a game that is meant to be a "life-simulation," all kinds of players should be able to effortlessly represent themselves from the moment they purchase the game: their features shouldn't be implemented 5 years down the line, nor should they have to wait for a pack to drop so that they can have the assets to accurately portray themselves.

[claitea]

Okay so, my tip for ocṭopath is that, if you're able to afford both, get both, if you can only get one of them, and you've got the money for it, get the second one, unless the characters of the first one appeal to you more.

OT1 isn't a bad game, but OT2 is objectively better in every way imo, and you don't really need to know anything about the first one to play it. If you plan on playing both of them either way, maybe start with OT1 bc it'll feel a lot clunkier if you do it the other way around, since OT2 has a lot of QOL improvements that OT1 doesn't have (like the 3x battlespeed, more varied animations and chapters and fully voiced cutscenes, for example). The characters in both are fun though. OT1 follows the archetypes of the main cast more closely, while OT2 usually tries to subvert them a little more, they're all very charming in their own way!

Anyway sorry for the long ask, but yeah I personally like octọpath a lot, and highly recommend checking it out! If you've got any doubts about whether or not you'd like it, both OT1 AND OT2 have demos you can play first! It's pretty neat

ooooo this is useful thank you!! i'll give the demo a go later today i think, steam didnt have it so i didnt know it was a thing at all lmao

[ana-bananya]

Support the Jad Al Haq family

I've been asked by the family to make this post to help clear up the rumors of fraud surrounding them. All of these campaigns have been vetted by trustworthy sources and I have linked proof of verification for each of them. You may see similar photos and wording in their campaigns, but that is because they are all sisters.

Please share and donate where you can to help the Jad Al Haq family be able to reunite with Doaa in Egypt.

kr85,535 SEK/kr300,000 SEK

SEK conversation rate calculator

@dodoomar12345 and her son Omar evacuated to Egypt. Omar is autistic and nonverbal, and is suffering from shock and trauma caused by the bombings he and his mother lived through.

Doaa is seeking to get Omar therapy and enroll him in school, but she needs support to cover the expensive weekly fees for his treatment. Her campaign has been vetted by 90-ghost.

$3,694/$5,000

@free-gaza2 is Doaas other account for her second campaign. This fundraiser is to help her purchase the equipment she needs to restart her sewing and embroidery business so she can support herself and Omar. It was also verified by 90-ghost.

$3,481/$65,000

Vetted by 90-ghost

This fundraiser is for 3 of Doaa's sisters: Tahreer, Fidaa, and Aseel. All of them were recently forced to evacuate where they were sheltering and find themselves displaced again. The funds will be used to help them afford necessities and evacuation so they can join Doaa in Egypt.

@tahreer1990 and her husband Ahmed have 4 children: Fatima, Khamees, Sarah, and Ameer. Ameer is a toddler with a broken pelvis and in desperate need of medical care. Khamees also recently underwent a tonsillectomy without proper conditions/medications due to a severe infection.

@fedao and her husband Hashem have 4 children: Dima, Abdullah, Islam, and Duaa. Hashem has an arm injury and needs medical care.

@aseelo680 is a young ambitious English student who is taking care of their elderly parents. Both their mother and father need treatment to help with their medical conditions, but Aseel cannot afford the care they need. Her father also recently suffered a stroke after losing his home, job, and relatives.

Aseel also has a second fundraiser to help with her parents' treatment and evacuation.

$6,693/$20,000

Vetted by 90-ghost

@/ebenrosetaylor is also doing an art raffle for Aseel's fundraiser. You can read the details here.

£7,301/£20,000

246 on the verified fundraiser spreadsheet vetted by nabulsi and el-shab-hussein

@hanaa987 and her husband Muhammad have a 2 year old son named Youssef. Their family has now been displaced more than 6 times. They were recently forced to evacuate Khan Younis and were able to afford another tent thanks to the donations they received, but they still need support so they can afford evacuation.

$6,000/$75,000

Vetted by 90-ghost

@safaa18mero is a law school graduate who dreamed of becoming a lawyer to support her family. She is currently in need of support to afford milk and diapers for her 5 month old son Amir who she gave birth to during this genocide.

$8,022/$40,000

Vetted by 90-ghost

Additional information can be found here

@falestine-yousef and her husband have a 3 month old son named Youssef that Falestine gave birth to during this genocide. She is struggling to provide enough milk, diapers, medicine, and vitamins for her son. She also fears for Youssef's health because of the unsanitary conditions in their camp. The tent they live in is next to a dilapidated public toilet where sewage, dirt and waste is everywhere, putting her family at greater risk of contracting deadly diseases.

[carmenifold]

help two disabled trans women eat and pay rent! (again...!)

hey it's your favorite local broke girl again!! happy new year, and here's to another year of begging on the internet so you don't starve!!! (just kidding i am so fucking tired and i want that to stop! lol) in all seriousness i don't know how we would've made it through the past two years without your help. it's... very difficult to figure out how to move on when people you thought you could trust in a very vulnerable period of your life just kinda.. put the person you love most in mortal danger and ruin your life. we survived but...

fuck it this isnt a journal post sorry. probably the lack of meds making me just say shit. anyway i have what is hopefully (send me luck please) a really good shot at getting an actual job soon and then i could hopefully just!! stop doing this!! and get back to doing art and the things i love and working through my heaping commission backlog (ty so much for your patience im so sorry)

but for now, we still have zero income. please, i know i've asked every month for the past year and then some, but this is the only way we can keep what little hold we have on things for now. if you can, please consider donating to help us make rent (around $600) and get groceries. if you can't, please consider spreading this post anyway. that's the thing that gets us help.

PP / VM / CA

i feel like i ran out of ways to thank everyone who's helped out so far, but i'll just say it again because i still feel so so lucky and grateful to have support through this mess: Thank you. <3

[amazinglyashy]

HI I LOVE ur lads headcanons ‼️ idk if u do angst but im feeling some angsty/hurt/comfort........... can i pls request the lads men's reaction to the reader rejecting their confession bc we think they deserve better...... someone who doesn't have a heart condition (like the mc) or something........

Oh my gosh, thank you so much!! And oh man, I love angst and hurt/comfort, as long as I get to give it a tiny bit of hope/a happy ending! I felt this one though, I've thought about it before with my own MC…….. a few dozen times- Hope you enjoy, and thank you for the request! <3

Love and Deepspace Li’s reactions to you rejecting their confession due to feelings of inadequacy

Rafayel -

Rafayel is… surprised, to say the least.

Not only do you not have any memory of him or the things you did together- the things you did to him- but you also are straight up turning him down when he finally realized that he needs to confess to you all over again.

He's pretty upset.

It'll definitely turn into an argument, and you know he's hurt. Damn, you're hurt too, just having to turn him down. He makes you feel something, like you're special. Like you're everything to him. Like you're not…

Broken.

And it'll come out eventually. Maybe not blatantly so, but in small ways, your feelings of inadequacy will start to leak through the cracks that are forming in your resolve as you try to refuse a man who has already been refused his love by fate and prophecy for far too long.

And somehow, that makes it so much worse. Because he can fight fate, he can go against the currents of time and the ever evolving cruelty of human nature. But he can't do anything about the feelings raging inside your own head.

He's sure going to try though.

Angrily but calmly, he will start firing off things he has done for you, just because he's loved you so much, throughout all of your time together and even before. He doesn't know if it'll make it worse, make you feel like he already does too much for whatever it is you see yourself as, but he's going to do it anyway. And slowly, it'll start forming into the things you two do together- the things you've done for him when he needs you.

And you're going to be there a while, because until you start to realize, until he starts to chip away at that dark feeling in the deepest reaches of your mind and heart, he's not going to let up.

Not now, not ever.

Sylus -

He's a bit taken aback, but he's not particularly surprised. He had seen this coming, mentally prepared himself for it, even. He knew after his treatment of you when the two of you had just met again for the first time, that any sort of official relationship between you two would be tricky to get to. Especially putting an actual label on it.

He'll be a lot more surprised when he reads between the lines at your words, and realizes it's not because you're still scared of him, but because you don't think you're good enough for him.

"You can't be serious, sweetie."

He's not going to force you to accept his confession, but regardless of how timid or aggressive you become, whether you escalate it vocally or try to exit the conversation, he's not arguing with you. He pretty much refuses to, as he instead begins to state snarky facts as he crosses his arms, watching your reactions as he does.

"When you patched my wounds a month ago, was I not deserving of your hands caring for me because they were shaky and belonging to you? How about that girl you muttered about that we saw at the café who was mad at her boyfriend to the point of shouting, when he didn't get her the right cake she wanted? Are you saying you're worse than her? Helping me on jobs simply because you want to exist near me is… not good enough for me?"

"Sylus, that's not what I'm saying-"

"Oh don't worry sweetie. I know exactly what it is you're saying. I just know it's a particularly misinformed, self loathing thought for you to be having. Don't you think it's insulting for you to decide who I give my love to? After every calculated decision you have witnessed me make?"

He'll finally soften, reaching out a hand to gently rest on the side of your neck, his thumb brushing against your cheek in a gentle back and forth.

"You don't need to be concerning yourself with what I deserve in a partner. You should have faith in my opinions, if not for yourself, but for your confidence in me, sweetie. After that, the rest is up to what you truly want in your heart."

Zayne -

His reaction is definitely the most reserved initially, especially until he realizes why exactly you're turning him down.

He definitely has the passing thought that maybe you're just misunderstanding him again, just like back with the snow seals when the two of you were still kids.

When he realizes that's not the case, and instead, it's your own internalized feelings, he's first a bit relieved, and secondly- pretty perturbed.

"It's interesting to know that's your perspective, given how much you enjoy those fictional stories with ironic pairings. I would think that it would be the most romantic thing for a heart patient to be in a relationship with a cardiac surgeon.

His biting but well-meaning quips aside, he's not quite sure how to break it to you that he used to be in a similar boat, and still is to some capacity. Which is partly why he's a bit upset to understand your perspective.

He's genuinely surprised you haven't processed the timeline of the two of you and your lives. Your accident that caused the state of your heart, his leaving to study medicine and become a specialist in cardiology and a renowned cardiac surgeon- are you not able to see that it's not an inadequacy for him, but his own lack of knowledge when you first started having issues made himself feel inadequate? Why he left without a word for years in the first place?

And not just that- it also applies to other fields too. He has no issues helping you where you need him, because he knows the extent of your capabilities, much like he knows his own. And he will spend forever if he needs to, to show you that loving is not about who does more. It's about doing what your partner needs, no matter how much or how little that is, and loving each other through every hard moment.

And you're about to hear every ounce of his convincing, opinions, and own feelings, until you start to see. Until you finally see.

Xavier -

Unless you tell it to him straight, he's not going to know why you rejected him. He'll be hurt, but he'll accept your rejection graciously and politely, before trying to figure out just how to get you to accept it.

There's an increase in claw machine dates, movie night invitations, and how much he helps you with missions or even just around your apartment. Eventually, you process the weird behavior and you're all but forced to confront him on really truly why you rejected him.

It's Xavier, so you try to play it off as a lighthearted situation or a joke, but you can see his expression darkening, and you're not sure if it's because of him being upset at your words, or realizing just how much time he has sunk into you with how... broken of a person you are.

Turns out, it's the former!

It's hard to not realize such, as he's pulling you into the tightest hug he's probably ever grabbed you into.

For a while, it's just you and him standing there, with him squeezing you tightly and you not knowing what to do with your hands or the lump rising in the back of your throat. He doesn't really know what to say, but he does know he needs to say something.

"I'll definitely make you see that you're more than enough for me."

"Xavier- that's not how this work-"

"I know, and I don't care. I- I need you to know that you're everything to me. You're not inadequate, or broken, or anything you've been telling yourself. You're more than enough. You're more than everything to me. And I'm not going anywhere until you finally understand that."

[losergames]

Chop Shop is strictly 18+ for language, themes, and potential explicit content. 

🔗 - Game Intro | Bug Report | Ko-Fi

Episode Four is now available! (+ 59,000) - PLAY HERE

Debrief after your meeting with Inez.

Steal... or don't!

Yvonne has a secret.

2 more achievements.

And more!

This update comes with a patch (Version 1.2.3) For this update you will need to start a NEW SAVE. An updated inventory macro has been implemented and is not compatible with old saves. I really wish you didn't have to but it's what's best for the game and its longevity!

Patch notes + author notes are under the cut. If preferred, you can access them in game in the start menu.

STORY

PROLOGUE:

General edits and fixes.

More vague, as to not elicit any emotional connection to the crew for continuity.

EPISODE 01:

Added a new set of personality building choices when meeting KJ, Jonno, Natasha and Aiden at the bar.

EPISODE 02:

Tweaked the conversation with Dilani in the closing scene to reflect more on the situation. Added some more fearful dialogue and flavour text.

Other general edits and fixes.

EPISODE 03:

Fixed gaps and spacing issues.

Minor phrasing and sentence structure changes.

Grammar and typo fixes.

UI + TECHNICAL

SETTINGS:

Changing the font size now only applies to the game text in the passages.

Added descriptions to the toggleable settings.

UI:

The background now changes colour dependent on what theme you are using, instead of the default black.

INVENTORY:

The inventory macro has been updated! Previously V2, now V3 of the ChapelR Simple Inventory Macro.

CREATE A SAVE

Modified the randomise PC choice, setting pronouns in 'sets' instead of randomising each pronoun separately.

GAMEPLAY MODE

Players can now choose a gameplay mode when starting a new save: Regular or Challenge.

Challenge mode disables the back button, disallowing players to return to the previous passage. Players cannot redo dice rolls or try out different choices for desired outcomes.

Challenge mode is not available in Create A Save. All CAS made saves default to regular mode.

AN: hello hello! it has been a while -- episode 04 is finally here!

this ep was a long one to get through but we finally made it out of the fog. i found that i wrote a bunch of stuff that just... didn't fit? but is hopefully going to be used later down the line, so it's cool i've got shells of scenes for later.

i can't find any game breaking bugs myself and my amazing beta testers have scanned through as many possible variants as they can! of course, if there is anything funky, broken, or maybe not triggering correctly, please submit a bug report!

again i will say that you will need to start a NEW SAVE for this update. unfortunately the updated inventory macro is not compatible with previous saves. i really didn't want this to be a thing when updating chop shop but it is unfortunately just the way for this update - apologies!! i know it's super annoying when games do this but chop shop is still a wip so there will always be some teething problems along the way.

as i look through my notes, we have now completed act 1 of my outline (AAAAHH) so soooo exciting. finally pc can stop wringing their hands about being bad and actually //start// being bad.

if you've made it this far -- hello and thank you! i'm so happy we're at the point where PC is making some real decisions, taking another step into their life of crime.

happy update day and happy reading!! thank you so much for the continued support and patience!!! i hope you enjoy the new episode! - becky :-) <3

[bloom-berry]

Camellia CAS background | Sims 4 CC

Camellia finally got a CAS just for her now! There are two versions, one during the day and another one at night time! (also I've tweaked the mesh again so it should look nice in all resolutions <3)

➜ Night version:

➜ Day version:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🫐 DOWNLOAD 🫐

If you haven't seen yet: Celestine nose preset | Garden fairy & Camellia loading screens | Celestine eyes | Camellia body preset

Thank you so much for supporting me ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[pellucid-constellations]

If It All Fell

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: If it all fell apart—if you forgot who you were—would you love him again? Would the bond guide you back? Azriel doesn't know if that uncertainty is one he can bear.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Nothing big in this one. Memory loss?? Overprotectiveness?? Azriel losing it (but not that much just yet)??

a/n: Hi this is going to be a series :) thank you for reading <3

Part 2 ♡

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist ♡

~~

As you blinked through the haziness, a dull throb echoed along the base of your skull. You sat up abruptly, feeling rocks and twigs digging into the backs of your legs, and winced as several shouts attacked your senses. You recognized none of them.

Gods, your head hurt. 

A few more blinks and the sun made an appearance, light assaulting your too-sensitive eyes. The leaves beneath your hands crunched and blew away in the balmy breeze, a few flecks of green still stuck to your palm as you brought it up to rub your head. 

“Don’t,” a feminine voice warned, and it was then that you pinpointed one of the shouts from earlier. But it was warmer now, calm. “Don’t touch your head, y/n. Azriel and Cas are getting help.”

You scrunched your face up but obeyed the command, taking steady breaths to try and manage the pain. The woman in front of you—blonde hair, brown eyes, a fierce expression—was like no one you had ever seen before. She was so incredibly beautiful you weren’t sure if you were actually awake. 

You took a pause. 

And then another. 

Who was the last person you had seen? 

“Where am I?” you asked instead, trying to appear sane. Your voice sounded unfamiliar. 

The woman’s expression pinched. “You’re in Spring Court. You remember that, don’t you? Rhysand sent us.” 

“Rhysand?” you repeated, the name foreign on your tongue. “Sent us for what?” 

“Well, we were supposed to be rallying Tamlin into re-fortifying his borders to win back the Summer Court’s good graces, but that beast is an idiot. Forging agreements with witches was quite possibly the worst move he could have made.” 

“Witches?” 

“I know, unbelievable,” the blonde ranted, sitting back on her heels beside you. “We came to help only to find out he had helped himself to the wicked. I knew he was distraught after Feyre, but to turn to this?” 

The pounding in your head was making it increasingly difficult to follow the tale the woman was spinning. Perhaps if you had more backstory, more information, you would understand what she was talking about. 

Desperate for that connection, you winced as you asked, “Um, not to offend, but… who are you?” 

Her aggravated expression crumpled into one of shock and concern. Her mouth parted, her brows came together at a point, and then she shifted, bringing her hands to your shoulders. When you flinched at the touch, the woman pulled her hands back, her fingers curling into her palms. “You don’t recognize me?” she asked, trepidation lining her tone. 

You shook your head, immediately regretting the action as pain shot up your neck. 

“Not at all?” she whispered. When your face remained blank, she pulled her hands into her lap. “Do you know who you are?” 

Another lapse in silence. 

“My Gods…” 

Darkness materialized nearby—swirling darkness. It reminded you of shadows and brought you a sense of peace for the first time since you opened your eyes. 

But then people started emerging from the darkness, taking up space in the vast forest, and that peace collapsed. Two large men with wings stomped against the twig-covered floor, causing a raucous disturbance as they began hurrying an older woman out from behind them. They both spoke in low, rushed tones and you wanted all the sound to stop. 

You ignored the woman’s directions from before and squeezed your head in your hands, your eyes snapping shut. It didn’t work, and you hadn’t expected it to, but Gods did your head hurt. It hurt and it was plagued by an impossible pressure that wouldn’t seem to let up.

“Mor, how long has she been awake?” one of the men asked. You felt him kneel beside you, felt him place rough, textured hands on your wrists in an attempt to pry your hands down. But he was gentle—so very gentle. 

“Azriel, she—” 

“Mor, if you could move aside. I need to look at her,” a much older voice chimed in. 

There was shuffling around you, new hands pressing to your face. You heard whispering that you couldn’t make out, and then the panic set in. 

You didn’t know these people. When you first woke up, the disorientation was focal; you were concerned about the pounding in your head and your whereabouts and that was it. But there were so many people here now, and you didn’t know any of them. 

You didn’t know who you were. Did they know who you were? They had to. 

“Majda, stop. You’re scaring her,” the man beside you, Azriel you’d heard him be called, practically hissed. 

Majda only hummed. “I am doing the job you brought me here to do. If I can’t work around a mating bond I will send you away, Shadowsinger.” 

Your breath came out in faster huffs, each one deeper than the last. You opened your eyes to try and gain some footing in the situation, still keeping your hands glued to your head. 

Your gaze went out before it went in, and you saw the blonde woman, Mor, beside a much larger man. His shoulder-length hair was messy and windswept, and he sent you a bittersweet, sympathetic smile that you couldn’t replicate. He watched with furrowed brows as your eyes darted from him, to Mor, to the wide forest around you. 

“I still don’t see why we couldn’t take her home first,” the man standing by the trees grumbled. “She would be more comfortable there.”  

“We didn’t want to move her with a head injury,” Azriel growled. “Not one from a witch.” 

His voice sent your attention towards him. Azriel was on his knees beside you, holding your wrists with his thumb circling the back of your hand in delicate strokes. He was painfully beautiful and you were left to wonder, yet again, if you were truly awake. When your gazes met, something foreign pulled at your ribs and the pressure sent an unexpected scream past your lips. You hunched over in a panic, yanking yourself away from those beside you.

That wasn’t right. None of this felt right. 

The older woman, Majda, cursed, staring after you as you pushed yourself further and further away. Each movement sent a new ache aflame in your head, but that didn’t stop you because you needed to get away. Your feet kicked up dirt and rocks and your hands tore with the effort but this wasn’t right. 

Azriel reached you before you could hit the tree just inches from your back. He held your head in his own hands and locked you in his gaze, keeping you trapped in the yellows and browns and the flecks that joined them. He took exaggerated breaths, wings flared out to block out the sun, and then he began whispering. 

It took a moment for you to understand the words, your heavy breaths mostly drowning them out. 

Something swished in the distance. More whispering, more secrets. 

“You’re okay. I’ve got you.” 

When Azriel’s voice finally came through, it was like a lifeline. 

“I’m here, my love. You’re safe. I know it hurts, I know.” 

It was odd, finding peace in a stranger. The shadows that seemed to dance around him swirled into shapes that framed your skin, and some of the panic felt foolish in their presence. They twisted and curved, somehow amplifying the cool tone of Azriel’s voice as he promised you things you had no capacity to understand. 

But he never stopped talking, not even when your gaze left his to follow his shadows instead. If anything, the action seemed to spur on the small beings more, and you wondered—for a brief moment—if he was controlling them. 

Something like amazement seeped into your panic as you whispered, “Who are you?” 

You didn’t know the man in front of you, that much was true, but he looked so… broken at your words. Something akin to pain clashed with his beautiful features as his jaw clenched to an unnatural degree. You were surprised that his teeth didn’t crack beneath the pressure. You wondered what else he could withstand—what atrocities he’d seen to make his eyes turn so dark when you spoke your words out loud. 

“No,” Azriel growled, chin hooking over his shoulder. His wings pulled back to reveal a new man, but this one looked slightly different from the others. No wings, different eyes. “You stay out of her head, Rhysand.” 

Rhysand. He was the one that had sent you here.

The concern on Rhysand’s face looked unnatural, like it didn’t belong there. “Az, it could help. Let me help her.” 

“You could make it worse. We have no idea what that witch did to her.” As Azriel spoke, shadows began to cover you more and more. Your sight became dim, your body camouflaged in darkness. 

“Looking in could be the only way to figure that out.” The next bout of silence was uncomfortable. The pounding in your head persisted, exacerbating to the point of tears along your waterline. “I know what you’re feeling, Azriel. I get it. But I want to help her, brother. You know I would never hurt her.” 

A twig snapped beneath a boot.

Azriel growled low in his chest. 

The pounding gave way to a sharp pain, and it made your senses lighter, less focused. 

You couldn't remember ever passing out before, but you thought it might feel like this. 

“Stay away from her.” 

“She doesn’t remember you, Azriel.” 

A choked breath. “Don’t touch my mate.” 

Darkness that surpassed the shadows finally granted you a reprieve from the pain. 

Maybe you'd wake up and this would all make sense.

Part 2 ♡