#you just kNOW Eloise's letters would be something else

[flyinglowdown]

i have a dream. and that dream is cressida/eloise/lord debling

[the-other-art-blog]

Violet to Colin: "You're one of my most sensitive children."

The fandom: "How can she say that! Anthony, Benedict bla, bla bla..."

Colin is ONE of her most sensitive children. ONE, just ONE of them. And she's right.

ONE OF HER MOST SENSITIVE CHILDREN

He was the only one who indulged Violet and let her introduce him to debutantes in s1, while Anthony fucked his mistress and Ben went to orgies.

He was a complete gentleman with Marina. AND defended her when Anthony implied something about her.

And when he learned the truth, he confessed that he would have married her if she had told him the truth. 🥹

He danced with Pen after Cressida bullied her.

He wrote dozens of letters that his family of 8 could not care to respond to often. There are 8 of them!

He worried about Ben in s2 and supported him on his application to the Academy.

He learned the truth of Jack Featherington and instead of simply leaving, he did something about it. Not only did he help the Featherington family, but he saved other lords from being scammed.

He apologized to Will, explained why he acted rudely AND made amends to repair the damage by bringing men to Will's club.

He returned with gifts for everyone, but he seemed particularly thoughtful to his sisters and mother. A perfume for Hyacinth, music for Francesca, and a book for Eloise 🥹. Violet was so moved by his gift and here we have a lovely headcanon on the watch:

Then with Pen...

He runs after Pen, despite other men wanting to know about his adventures.

He acknowledges his mistake and immediately tries to apologize to Pen in the Four Seasons Ball.

The next day, he comes back with a heartfelt apology.

Then, he offers her help, despite the risk of scandal and embarrassment for him. He knows Pen has no one else.

He goes to see Pen at night to make sure she's ok. And when she asks him for a kiss, he does it so sweetly.

He is brave enough to leave the men who just want to know about his sexual life.

HE WAS BRAVE ENOUGH TO ASK, as soon as he put himself together and understood his feelings. He didn't play jealousy games like others, he went and put his heart on the table. He didn't even know about Pen's feelings and he risked it!

Some extracts from Colin's journals show that his family is always in his thoughts.

You can see why Violet, as the good mother that she is, can tell how sensitive he is.

Colin travels during the summer and comes back during the season to be with his family. It angers me that people think he's selfish for this when Benedict also abandons the family to fuck.

And yet, both Colin and Ben are sensitive. BOTH OF THEM, Francesca too. I wouldn't call Hyacinth or Gregory sensitive right now, and before s3, I wouldn't include Eloise either.

Anyway, I needed to get this out because I am so fucking tired of Kanthonies and Benophies making tantrums about this line.

I'm sure when s4 comes, we are going to see a moment between Violet and Ben where she acknowledges how amazing he is and everything he has done for the family. But not now, because this is COLIN'S SEASON.

(NOTE: If you are thinking of reblogging this post with the tag #Colin is the most sensitive, kindly fuck off. I made this post to fight the Kanthonies and Benophie that are attacking Colin, not to validate your own need to make Colin superior to other characters. HE IS ONE OF THE MOST SENSITIVE CHILDREN, ONE)

[bosbas]

Chapter 2: I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader WC: 2.0k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, negative self-talk (Colin bby🥺🤏), a small part of the dialogue is in French

Summary: It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?

April 16, 1816 – And of course, one cannot forget to mention Lady Y/N Montclair, who looked like a vision in her emerald dress at the Danbury Ball last night. Her presence seemed to cast a spell over the gentlemen in attendance, and they were practically lining up to engage her in conversation. It was a sight to behold, watching them swoon over her. However, one can hardly blame them, given how effortlessly graceful she was. It appears Lady Montclair will have more than enough gentlemen to choose from this season…

Eloise scoffed and rolled her eyes, the newest Whistledown in hand as she sat on a couch in the tearoom. “My word, if she hadn’t been in Tuscany last season I would think Lady Montclair herself was Lady Whistledown! She’s only been here two days and she’s already been mentioned more than most of the ton.”

Benedict chuckled from his seat across the room, shooting a look at a disgruntled-looking Colin who was trying very hard to make it seem like he wasn’t listening to Eloise reading Whistledown’s account of the ball. 

“I’d wager that Colin is Whistledown, actually. I’m convinced after today’s column,” Benedict said teasingly, taking a bite out of an apple as he analyzed the sketch in front of him. 

“First of all, I don’t even write like Whistledown, which you would know if you read the letters I sent while I was in Greece,” Colin shot back, irritated. “And second, even if I were, I certainly would not have spent two full pages talking about Lady Montclair. I’m sure I have no idea why Whistledown thought she warranted such a large portion of the column today.” 

The words felt bitter and unpleasant in his mouth, and he regretted them instantly. He knew he sounded petulant, but he couldn’t help his defensive tone after last night. Eloise, catching onto Colin’s tone, cocked her head toward Benedict and raised an eyebrow in confusion.  

“She didn’t want to dance with him,” explained Benedict, sounding highly amused about what was one of the more embarrassing things to happen to Colin. 

Eloise burst out laughing. “No! A woman who didn’t want to dance with Colin? Something must be incredibly wrong in the world! How could she have said no to London’s golden boy? And on his first day back! Shall we call for a medic?”

Colin felt the blood rushing to his face and his cheeks warming, not particularly pleased to have to deal with his sister's teasing today. He knew he was being ridiculous, that much was clear. You were only one person who hadn’t wanted to dance with him. But you had just looked so beautiful, and the way your eyes had lit up when you laughed with your brother was so enchanting, that he fashioned himself half in love with you already. 

It was slightly gut-wrenching to know you didn't feel the same way. He must have done something, Colin reasoned. No one had ever not liked Colin simply because of who he was, and he was more than a little concerned that you seemed to be the first. 

Eloise had been joking, of course, when she called Colin London’s golden boy. But it wasn’t as much of a joke as he would have liked. Anthony was a viscount, and Benedict was a successful artist with a painting in the national gallery, but what did he have to offer? He was just aimlessly traveling the world, documenting his travels in a journal no one would ever read. His own family didn’t even read his letters, for Christ’s sake. He was a third son with no talents, and the only thing he could do was lean into his charm and good nature and hope that people liked him anyway. And he had been relatively successful thus far. Except for with you, it seemed.

Noting Colin’s uncharacteristic grim mood, Eloise briefly panicked, wondering if she had gone too far. With a far softer tone, she added, “Maybe her dance card was full, Colin. It doesn’t mean she didn’t want to dance.”

But Colin shook his head, placing his chin on his hand. “I highly doubt it.”

He knew better than to assume the best. He was remarkably skilled at reading people, but even without that, it had not been difficult to tell that you were full of contempt. For him or someone else, he couldn’t be completely sure, but the way you had been laughing and smiling with everyone except for him was a particularly useful hint. 

Before he could dwell further, Violet entered the tearoom. “We’ll be going to Hyde Park to promenade today, darlings.” It was far easier to coerce her children into doing her bidding when she didn’t give them a choice. 

Ignoring their grumbling, she left the room, calling out over her shoulder, “Be ready in one hour!” 

---

Colin had barely been at the park five minutes before he spotted you, and he drew in a sharp breath. God, it was infuriating. You were wearing a cream-colored dress, chatting pleasantly with your mother, and he wanted to scream. Of course, you looked completely breathtaking. It was exactly what he needed when he was already nervous about approaching you. 

During the carriage ride, he had decided to try to speak to you again. To be your friend, at the very least. Perhaps you did not want him as a suitor, but the thought of someone in the ton actively disliking him was nauseating. 

So, he steeled himself, staring longingly at you. Now was as good a time as any because, for some miraculous reason, there seemed to be no men hounding you at the moment. You had separated yourself from your family slightly, silently observing who he could only assume was one of your older sisters and her husband. 

He made his way over to you, hands fidgeting behind his back nervously. Swallowing down his fear, he cleared his throat as he approached you, a soft smile on his face. 

“Lady Montclair, it’s lovely to see you here today. I believe we may have gotten off on the wrong foot at the ball last night, and I wanted to offer an apology.” Your face was completely blank, not giving anything away, and Colin found himself a tad more nervous than he was when he first walked up to you. “Perhaps we could promenade?” he finished weakly. 

An apology? What on earth was Colin Bridgerton on about? There was no way he’d seen you in the hallway, right? 

“An apology, Mr. Bridgerton? Whatever for?” you asked carefully, not giving anything away. 

Colin cleared his throat awkwardly. He wasn’t quite sure himself, to be honest. “Well, I’m afraid I might have offended you by asking to dance so suddenly. It might have been a bit brash to ask for a dance without a proper introduction first.”

You almost sagged in relief. Your reputation was safe. Though now you seemed irrationally angry, despising Colin for no apparent reason. However, it wasn’t in your nature to make nice with someone who viewed women simply as breeding stock.  

Curtly, you responded, “I can assure you, Mr. Bridgerton, that that did not offend me. Had we been properly introduced, my answer would have been the same.”

“Oh,” he said softly. 

You stared at him blankly, with no hint of warmth in your gaze. Sensing your hostility, he promptly turned away from you, returning to his family. Anger burned in his chest. What the hell was your problem with him? He’d barely spoken two words to you, and you had acted like he had offended your entire bloodline. 

When his anger subsided, Colin had a sobering thought. For the first time in his charmed life, someone simply did not care for him. And the worst part? He hadn’t even caused it. Colin, who prided himself on his charm and wit, found himself in the position of being disliked without cause. 

He suddenly felt very inadequate. It was a foreign feeling, and it settled quite uncomfortably in his chest. If you were determined to hate him, so be it. But to hate him without reason? That, Colin could not agree to.

If you insisted on casting him as the villain in your narrative, then he would play the role with ease. If you wanted a reason to dislike him, then a reason you would have.

You stared after Colin, eyes narrowed. His ability to act like a complete gentleman would have been impressive if it wasn’t so disturbing. 

“Ma grande,” your mother called, coming to your side (My dear). “Did I just see you being rude to Colin Bridgerton? He left fairly quickly,” she scolded gently. 

“Non, maman. Ne t'inquiète pas,” you assured (No, Mom. Don’t worry). Upon seeing her unimpressed look, you switched to English. “It was just a misunderstanding.”

“Well, you don’t seem to like him very much,” she observed.

You let out a nervous laugh, waving her comment away. “I don’t know him well enough to dislike him, maman!” 

You needed something to distract her from this line of questioning. Your mother knew you well enough to tell when you were lying, and she would be positively furious if she uncovered the real reason why you despised Mr. Bridgerton. 

Fortunately, a distraction arrived by the name of Lord Arthur Barlow. 

“Lord Barlow,” your mother called out excitedly. “Allow me the pleasure of introducing my daughter, Y/N Montclair.”

“Lady Montclair,” he smiled warmly, stretching his hand out to you. “A name as lovely as its bearer, I daresay.”

 “Lord Barlow,” you answered shyly, placing your hand in his. You felt your cheeks heating up as he kissed the back of your hand, and you were taken aback. This entirely charming man had disarmed you completely in a matter of seconds. 

"Lord Barlow, the Duke of Monmouth," your mother announced with a flourish, her eyes bright with approval at the budding acquaintance. "Shall we take a turn about the park? I would be delighted to chaperone."

Subtlety was not her specialty. Or perhaps not her priority. Though you couldn’t really be upset with her, given how good-looking the Duke was. He nodded graciously at your mother and placed your hand at the crook of his elbow, smiling down at you as you began to stroll. 

You were so enthralled you barely registered him speaking. “I hear you’ve got a knack for languages, Lady Montclair,” he remarked, prompting your attention.

“Yes, your Grace. I speak five languages, and read Sanskrit,” you answered dutifully. Such accomplishments were no small feat in the circles of the ton, and you knew it put you at an advantage in the marriage mart.

“Most impressive, indeed,” he answered, his gaze thoughtful. “My brother’s wife is from Prussia, and I’m sure she would love a chance to speak in her native tongue.”

The Duke's boldness caught you off guard, the suggestion of speaking with his sister-in-law a surprising turn. "Oh," you murmured, slightly taken aback by his directness.

 “And what else do you like to do?” asked Lord Barlow, smoothly transitioning the conversation. 

A well-prepared response rolled off your tongue, a practiced smile gracing your lips. “I am well-versed in needlepoint, and enjoy playing the pianoforte,” you smiled. It was what was expected of a young woman of your stature, after all.

Lord Barlow nodded appreciatively, seemingly satisfied with your answer. “And how do you find England? I’m certain you’re missing the Tuscan sun,” he said, pushing the conversation to lighter topics. 

The Duke's engaging manner, paired with the approval of your mother, had utterly charmed you. Engaged by his charisma and easy conversation, you found yourself giggling during your conversation, utterly captivated.

Unbeknownst to you, Colin Bridgerton observed

from afar, his gaze sharp with a mixture of irritation and something deeper brewing beneath the surface. Each laugh, each shared glance between you and the Duke, stoked the flames of his simmering displeasure.

—

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[fayes-fics]

When The World Is Free: Chapter 9 - Partance

MASTERPOST PREV | NEXT

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, WW2 AU.

Warnings: A tiny touch of spice... some making out, celebrations and some more late-night confessions.

Word Count: 3.4k

Author’s Note: Multi-chapter fic based on a request by the lovely @amillcitygirl. Please see the masterpost for a synopsis of this story. This is when we find out if their whole gamble pays off... Happy Valentine’s Day! This is my gift to you 🫶 Also, be warned that the rating will increase in the next chapter. 😉 Thanks to @colettebronte for beta reading. Enjoy!

Montivilliers (just outside Le Havre), September 1939

You awaken early to the smell of fresh coffee brewing. A glance into the living room, as you wander downstairs towards the enticing scent, shows the sofa is already rearranged and blankets neatly stowed, as if not slept on at all - a little twinge behind your ribs at Benedict’s forethought around the ruse you shared a bed last night.

Almost reluctant, you enter the kitchen, and there he is, pouring two cups from the cafetière, the sunlight catching the ring on his finger as he does so. Your husband. Benedict Bridgerton. He twists, and you see he is wearing glasses, taking you by surprise. On the table, you spy a newspaper open. You are momentarily embarrassed that you are married to a man you know so little about; you didn't even know he wore reading glasses.

“Good morning,” his greeting is soft but apprehensive. 

“Good morning,” you mumble back, taking the proffered cup from him without quite letting your fingers touch.

Guilt eats at your soul as you take a seat, the creak of the old chair as you sit down seeming so loud in the otherwise silent room - guilt about pushing him too far with kissing, guilt about your confession, as if you burdened his sleeping subconscious with an unfair weight. It makes the need to talk about anything else bubble up within you.

“I had an idea,” you break the silence as he takes a seat. He says nothing in response, just looks at you expectantly. “We could pretend our relationship developed long distance. Say that we met through Eloise a few years ago? But were both with other people at the time. Perhaps we wrote to each other and, over time, grew close? I thought we could write some ‘fake’ love letters this morning. Fold them up, make them look a little old and creased, you know, and then exchange? Carry the letters as if we truly sent them to each other. It doesn't have to be many. Maybe 3 or 4? Backdated, of course.”

As you talk, his face lights up. “It’s brilliant!” he enthuses quietly, whipping off his glasses. “It's the perfect explanation! Then it makes sense I rush to Paris to rescue you! And my sister. The outbreak of war made me realise what you truly mean to me,” he spitballs, talking fast, gesturing animatedly. “It would explain our whirlwind marriage too - that we couldn't live another day apart without…. without being together with the looming uncertainty of war.”

His chair drags loudly across the tile as he stands up rapidly, grabs your hands, and hauls you up and into an embrace, lifting you off the ground and twirling around—a spontaneous celebration.

“You are brilliant!” he exclaims fervently, and then your lips find each other impromptu. A kiss that starts as a mere brush to seal the pact rapidly morphs into something else. Before you know it, your mouths are open, tongues tangled, and he is hoisting you higher in his arms, his hands grabbing your thighs, wrapping your legs around his waist so your nightgown rides up to your hips, the heat of his pelvis crushed against yours through thin cotton pyjamas….

And that is the sight which greets the returning homeowners and Eloise. 

A loud squeak from Marie has you rocketing apart, sliding down his torso back to your feet, cheeks aflame. But it's too late. There is no way to deny what they walked in upon-–you wrapped around Benedict’s body as you kiss fiercely.

“Wow… I miss that passion,” Jerome wisecracks in a bid to break the tension.

Although she is silent, the look on Eloise’s face is one you won't soon forget—shock, abhorrence but a streak of inquisition, as if taking on new information and filing it away. 

You and Benedict both mutter apologies in unison, which seems to charm your hosts even more into good-natured joshing as they unpack croissants and jams from a wicker basket.

“A breakfast for our newlyweds,” Marie chimes with a wink. “I’m sure you need sustenance after a night like yours.”

In some ways, although mortifying, you cannot deny the cinch they caught you in does not exactly hurt the illusion of you being a real couple.

And so you all take a seat and begin breakfast together. Each treat on the table is delicious, and the conversation flows easily.

“You do know Solene will be mad she was not invited to the wedding,” Eloise remarks offhand at one point.

“Pssh! Let me deal with my sister,” Marie counters with an almost stereotypical Gallic shrug and a dismissive chuckle. 

—

With a couple of hours until your sailing, you pack the few things you unpacked in the last couple of days and then turn to letter writing as Eloise reads. You sit outside, a delicate breeze over your sleeves as Benedict joins you. You agree on some dates and then fall silent as you pick up pen and paper and compose letters. 

Yours don't feel sophisticated, but they feel honest - writing about actual events back home and more recently in Paris to lend an air of believability, interspersed with words of affection, longing, and hope to be reunited. Your final letter is dated the day war was declared, expressing a need to see him as soon as possible.

You have no idea what Benedict is writing, but his intensity and speed impress you, pages seeming to pile up around his elbows as you see glimpses of his elegant, looped script.

“I just have much to say, that’s all,” he responds, somewhat enigmatic when you express your concern that his letters appear much longer than yours.

—

Before you know it, Jerome and Marie are dropping you off at the port in Le Havre, hugging you all so tightly with promises of letters, telegrams, and phone calls. You will certainly miss them and Solene; they have been so welcoming to you, even for such a short period.

Benedict wraps an arm around your shoulder as a porter loads your cases onto a trolley and accompanies you to the boarding queue.

“Just like we practised,” he turns his head and murmurs into your ear so only you hear. 

And then he sweeps you into his arms and kisses you, instantly opening your mouth under his, your pulse racing even among the crowd.

“Do you mind?” Eloises hisses, disgust evident on her face.

Breaking the kiss, you giggle and bury your face in Benedict's shoulder as he shoots her his trademark elder brother look of derision.

“Do you want your best friend to come with us to England or not, sister? Because we have to look married and madly in love,” he points out, his arm stroking your back.

“You don't have to swallow her face,” Eloise grouses, folding her arms and narrowing her eyes as she pouts, looking aside.

“The more convincing, the better,” he counters, but their dispute is interrupted by your being called forward to the desk.

After asking for your tickets and passport, the surly young man looks at your passport and frowns.

“Are you planning to remain in the UK?” His ask is terse.

“Yes,” you reply, clear but polite.

“Reason?”

“She is my wife,” Benedict cuts in, that arm back across your shoulders.

“Do you have proof?” the man looks sceptical.

Benedict produces the marriage certificate from a folio in his case. 

The man scans the document, his frown deepening. “You got married yesterday?” His questioning tone raises the attention of others nearby.

Your heart leaps into your mouth as a face you recognise materialises from behind a glass office. It's Theo Sharpe - the young soldier Eloise met in the bistro a few days ago.

“Is there a problem here, Jones?” he asks with an official tone.

“These two just got married. I have concerns…”

Theo peers at Benedict and you as if assessing you as a couple.

“What sort of concerns? They look in love to me…”

“We have letters!” you pipe up, nerves jangling.

“Letters?”

“Love letters we have written to each other over the months.” Benedict takes over. “When war broke out, I had to come and rescue the woman I loved. And then I could not resist proposing. And yes, we married yesterday. Sirs, you likely know better than anyone - war brings clarity to a man’s heart like nothing else. I could not go another day without her being my wife…” his speech is reserved but impassioned, and when he is done, he tucks you under his arm, kissing your forehead. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Eloise frown as he hands over your letters, and you do the same with his from your handbag. Theo takes the pile and unfolds them, his eyebrow rising at something in one from Benedict’s pile.

“Jones, tell me that is not the sign of a man in love,” he tilts the page to his fellow soldier, seemingly pointing to a particular line.

The man coughs and runs a finger into his collar.  “Oh… well… yes…” he seems to stumble, his cheeks heating.

What on earth did Benedict write?

“I think we can safely say they are a real couple, can't we?” Theo argues, refolding the letters and handing them back to you.

“Yes, yes, I think so…” the man agrees hesitantly.

“Well then, please issue the lady with the paperwork for residency,” Theo prompts, almost impatient.

You can barely contain the furl of excitement as the man dutifully grabs an official certificate and transfers your details, passing it under an embossing stamp and placing it inside your passport.

“Welcome to the United Kingdom, Mrs Bridgerton,” he smiles tightly as you see Theo shoot Eloise the briefest of winks behind the man’s back.

“Thank you, sir,” you breathe, almost stunned into a quiet silence, as again you are in Benedict's strong embrace. 

“Well done, you were perfect,” he assures a few moments later as you walk up the ramp onto the ferry, his arms never having left your shoulders since. 

With reality finally setting in, relief and elation radiate from inside - like the sunny day seeping into your being, making you feel the lightest you have felt in weeks. You can't help the grin you shoot him and drop a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“All thanks to you,” you demure as you cross onto the deck, “I owe you my life.”

“You owe me no such thing,” he counters immediately and sincerely. “Your idea - the letters - that is what sealed your future. You are much smarter and stronger than you give yourself credit for,” he adds, his tone ardent, a hand tenderly cupping your jaw as his thumb strokes your cheek. 

Again, you find yourself lost in his eyes.

“God’s sake, you can quit the mooning now, you idiots,” Eloise gripes and elbows Benedict unceremoniously out of the way, drawing you into a bear hug. “I’m so happy!” she chimes into your ear.

“Me too,” you reply, laughing joyously, hugging her back as fiercely.

“I may have planned for this,” she winks, withdrawing to pull a bottle of champagne from her bag with a flourish. 

And so, as the ferry pulls out of port and enters the English Channel, the three of you raise a toast to France as you watch the shoreline slip away. A kaleidoscope of emotions washing over you - a bittersweet farewell to your all-too-short French adventure, but also excitement and apprehension for the start of something new. A stay in England. And a new husband, well, sort of. For the first time, the future feels completely unwritten in a way that is freeing.

—

When you arrive in Portsmouth that evening, you immediately head for the stately Royal Maritime Hotel by the port. But there is a snag when you get to the check-in desk. The late hour and no reservation means only one room is left—with one double bed. 

“I will sleep on the floor,” Benedict offers, ever the gentleman, as you all accept the room, knowing it's likely a similar story in all the other hotels with this many people escaping mainland Europe.

After dropping your luggage, you all head to dinner, which becomes drinks in a local bar, all of you wanting the celebratory mood to last a little longer. You nurse just one drink while Eloise seems determined to drain the port city dry, tipsily wandering off to the little dancefloor in the back room. 

At some later point, while Benedict is at the bar paying the tab, Eloise returns, sidling up to your seat and loops her arms around you.

“You know how much I love you…?” 

“What do you want, Eloise?” you chuckle, patting her elbow as you let her sway you with her hug.

“I've met someone,” she whispers excitedly, her breath sweetened by brandy, “and I realllllly like him. His name is Phillip. He’s lovellllyyy,” she singsongs.

“That's nice. But what does that have to do with me?” you ask, amused.

“If I were to spend the evening with him, would that be okay? With you?” 

“You've never asked my permission to enjoy your previous dalliances, El; why now?” You are finding her thoroughly entertaining.

“Becaaaaause it means you will be stuck alone in a room with my brother,” she spells out. “And no woman should have to endure that,” she counsels with faux gravity, only mildly undermined by her comedic look of horror.

Your stomach vaults at the idea of a night alone with Benedict in a hotel room, but you must school your face to one of casual indifference.

“El, I shared a cottage with him last night; I think I can handle it.”

“Oh yes… and what in God's name was this morning all about?” she suddenly shifts the topic, raising an eyebrow pointedly.

You do your best not to choke on your sip of cocktail. “We saw you all coming up the path. Benedict thought it best for the ruse if we were caught in a compromising situation,” you bluff, waving your hand dismissively, even as you feel your cheeks glowing at the mere memory.

She side-eyes you momentarily but seems to accept it, giving you one more squeeze before bidding you goodnight. Her farewell to Benedict at the bar appears to be a smack on the arm and a warning with a pointed finger—ever the loving siblings. Then, with a flutter of butterflies under your ribs about the night ahead, you and Benedict head back to the hotel.

“Thank you again,” your tone is sincere as he unlocks the room. “If we had only known Theo would be at the port, maybe we wouldn't have had to go through all we did,” you point out wincingly, still apologetic, as he secures the door closed.

“We did what we had to. We were very fortunate he was there today; it was a wonderful coincidence, but we had to prepare for any circumstance. Besides, it is all water under the bridge now. You have your paperwork. You have your residency,” he points out brightly.

“But you had to marry me….” you point out, unable to let it go, guilt still shadowing your heart. “That was a huge sacrifice.”

“I am not the one who had to break a promise to another,” he counters softly. “You had to be the brave one here. You should not think of yourself as selfish. And you should feel free to pursue whatever you want in this world, y/n.”

Something in the choice of words in his heartfelt petition seems oddly reminiscent, but you cannot pinpoint it.

“I will still sleep on the floor,” he adds reassuringly, removing his coat.

“We… we could share…?” you feel your heart pound as you extend the tentative offer. 

The look on his face is indecipherable, but you don't miss how his pupils dilate a fraction. “I promise not to kick…” his response is a genial callback to your discussion days ago.

You giggle, feeling that lightness in your being again. “And if you do, I’m sure I could find plenty of rope to remedy that. We are right by a port after all,” you can't help but banter back, gesturing to the harbour outside the window.

His responding warm laugh is like a balm.

He excuses himself to shower, and while he is gone, you unpack some basics. As you are delving in your bag for your hairbrush, the pile of letters Benedict handed you spills out. 

Intrigued, you unfold them—curious to know what Theo had seen. The letters are a thing of beauty; you find yourself crawling onto the bed to read them properly. Pages of lyrically crafted praise that make your correspondence seem entirely lacking, more akin to a boring newsletter. You find yourself swept up in reading - lines of poetry, yearning sentiments and a few racier epithets that make your breath catch and your blood run hot.

‘Every night since we met, my love, I dream of nothing but you. Endlessly. I dream of your laugh, your smile, that wonderful little crease on your forehead when you think I am being foolish. You captivate me - body and soul. I dream of that delectable noise you make when I kiss you. I dream of tasting your skin. I dream of you coming apart in my arms, grasping me so tight you leave finger marks on my body. One day, my love, one day…’

You almost jump out of your skin when Benedict reenters the room, freshly showered, his hair in damp curls, sporting a distractingly fitted white t-shirt. You attempt to conceal what you are reading, embarrassed somehow, but it’s too late.

“I was wondering if you would,” he laughs softly when he realises.

“I’m sorry,” you utter, feeling as if you have snooped somewhere you should not have.

“Don't be,” he cuts in, smiling gently.

“How did you think up such poetic stuff?” you query, fingertips tracing almost reverentially over the words. A wistful ache in your being, hoping anyone would ever be inspired to write such an elegy to you one day.

“I just told the truth,” he shrugs.

“You must’ve been in love with whoever has made you feel like this in the past,” you sigh, standing up to put the letters aside on a table, feeling as if they definitely do not belong to you. Conscious of the slim band around your left ring finger, like a guilty weight stopping him from that possible life.

There is a long pause, making you look up at him. He is drawing near, something profound burning in his expression.

“You,” he breathes finally. “You inspired this in me.”

The confession knocks the breath from your very lungs, almost a need to bend double.

“Wh….” you cannot even find enough voice to finish a simple word.

He moves closer until you are almost touching.

“I heard you…” he admits softly, his fingers encircling your wrist, then bringing your hand close to his face. “Last night, when you thought I was asleep…” a plunge of utter dread in your stomach as you realise what he means. Your confession.

Oh no.

“Benedict, I….” but you can't finish. There is no end to that sentence, even in your quick mind.

“So I thought it was only fair you have mine,” he continues, a flicker of a modest but charming smile as he tilts his head to the pile of letters. 

Your eyes cut briefly to them before darting back to him.

“Y… you dream of nothing but me…?” you stutter, parroting one of the many memorable lines, a flicker of desire and hope and yearning so strong you can't help but ask.

His smile turns crooked. “Every night…” he confirms, eyes glittering.

“A-all of it?” you can barely utter it, your cheeks heating as you recall precisely what he wrote that he dreams about.

“Every word,” he asserts before his warm lips brush the back of your knuckles. 

It's like you are thrown into a hurricane, a hundred thoughts and feelings tumbling, making your breath catch hard in your lungs. But it all converges into one singularity as you stare up into those hypnotic eyes. An overwhelming need coursing through you. For him. A longing that is tart on your tongue and deep in your core. And you are powerless to do anything but grab his neck and pull him down into a searing kiss. 

Benedict taglist: @foreverlonginguniverse @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spitt @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies @balladynaaa

[mandaplease10]

A Polin Take Nobody Asked For #5

*Penelope & Colin Aren't Friends*

Once again, there are complaints about how Pen & Colin were never actually friends because we never see them be friends. We're simply only told they are friends and now we're supposed to believe Colin loves her after saying he would never court.

Well, I am here to tell you why that is wrong. Oh and someone on twitter claimed this season has no narrative... like are we watching the same show??

FYI this is a long post!

Season 1:

Colin dances with Penelope after Cressida spills a drink on her. Even before this, he sought her out to have a conversation with her.

There are several times we see Colin and Penelope speaking at balls or gatherings.

Penelope tries to tell him about Marina and he is grateful for her friendship and care, but he doesn't listen to her because he thinks he knows Marina. Yet, he still took the time to hear her out for the most part.

Once Marina's secret is revealed, Colin apologizes to Pen and recognizes she was just trying to look out for him.

Colin goes traveling the first time because of Pen inspiring him to do so.

Colin singing in the drawing room and lowers his voice/stars at Pen when she walks in.

Season 2:

Their letters - This is a huge element to their friendship and their storyline. Honestly, I would love to have seen what their letters entailed over the years. Maybe one day we'll have a scene of them going through their old letters or something.

Colin's arrival - hello! That look he gives her when he sees her there in the drawing room after greeting his family. I believe had Hyacinth and Gregory not rushed him and Anthony didn't walk in to go to the races, he would have walked over and said something to her.

At the races- he sees Pen and walks over to her. He initiates the conversation and talks about their letters until Eloise ruins the moment.

Another moment he initiates a conversation is when Pen assumes he met someone on his travels and he talks about how he 'found himself' thanks to her letters.

Lady Crane was right about you - He knows that Pen cares for him and is special in his life and the fact that someone else saw that made him open his eyes a little more.

Defending the Featheringtons - Colin stood up to his friend Will when he said something negative about Pen's family and then again when he realized Jack was scheming around.

You are special to me. I will always look out for you - HELLO! Yes, Colin has a hero complex, but he doesn't do this for everyone! He doesn't seek out to help Cressida or other women of TON, but he risked standing up to a "Lord" to save Pen's family from ruin.

You are Pen. You are my friend - Colin literally calls her his friend and holds her above just another woman. Yes, in this moment she was sort of friend zoned, but the fact he still wanted her in his life, means something.

"I would never court Penelope Featherington" - Yes, this was not a good look, but this was also Colin trying to put on a facade in front of the gentleman. Plus, I also believe that in his state of mind, what he was doing and how he is around Pen, is just how they are together, yet in other's eyes, it was very much courting action.

Season 3:

His arrival - Immediately looks for Pen and when he doesn't see her, looks towards her house confused as to why she isn't present.

The Gardens - Smiles when he sees her and is eager to talk to her, upset when she cuts their conversation short.

The ball - Stares at her and watches her from afar and rushes after her when he sees her in distress.

Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton - Tries to joke around with her and have a friendly conversation, but realizes something is wrong. Feels horrid when he realizes why she is upset with him and wants to talk it out, gets upset when she leaves.

The Featherington Garden - Again, he seeks her out because he wants to make things right with her. THIS ENTIRE SCENE IS PRACTICALLY A WHY YOU ARE SPECIAL AND MORE THAN A FRIEND TO ME DECLARATION. If you actually watch this entire scene, you will see that there is genuine friendship and love there.

The Meet Cute - Seriously, the fact that HE remembers how they met AND he was the one who brought it up, says A LOT.

The Drawing Room - He listened to her and brought her to a place that makes her comfortable. He even made sure it was during a time when they would be alone. Also, it is obvious he feels something during the touch of hands and her attempt at flirting with him.

The Ball - They have yet another conversation amongst the two of them and he encourages her to talk to someone. Then they have a laugh. A genuine laugh, one that she never really had with Debling later on... Then we have the little bouts of jealous Colin when she's speaking to Lord Remington. Then how angry he gets when the word gets out about him and Pen and how he rushes after her in worry.

The First Kiss - Once again, Colin is seeking her out... in the middle of the night... bribing her maid for alone time. Like... not just anyone does that. Colin only had to do the one kiss. The one peck because that was all Pen asked for, but guess what? He went in for another one and would have kissed her again if she didn't leave. We can tell on his face, that he felt something he never felt before.

The Dream - Most people don't have romantic dreams about their friends unless there are feelings there.

The Willow Tree - The awkwardness is everything and pure friends to lovers.

I could continue the rest of their moments, but I'm not going to because so many of the same people keep saying the only reason Colin wanted Pen is because of Debling, well guess what everything that I listed above is PRE DEBLING. Yes, there is that moment in episode 1, but it isn't until episode 3 when Debling actively tries to pursue Pen and vice versa.

So, yeah, Polin haters can keep complaining and trying to make excuses as to why they dislike the season, but the receipts are the there to debunk those claims.

[sarahisslytherin]

𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐌 || 𝐁.𝐁. (PART II)

summary: you’ve been receiving love letters from a secret admirer and you’re desperate to reveal his identity. contains: benedict being fucking adorable, fluff n' angst! a/n: this one’s a bit angsty and a tad racy. enjoy! PART I

The idle days leading up to the ball inched past painfully slow. You spent them trying to occupy yourself with silly activities; knitting, painting, writing. This last did little to keep your mind from straying to your admirer, as one’s mind often drifts to the land of romance when writing. You tried to imagine the color of his eyes, the slope of his nose, the feeling you’d experience were you to finally meet at the ball. No, you scolded yourself with a click of the tongue. You would not get your hopes up only to be disappointed.

You were just beginning to paint a landscape when there was a knock at your door. You ushered in your lady’s maid, who once again discreetly placed a ribbon-wrapped envelope upon your desk and let you be. You knew your imagination would surely run wild as an unbridled stallion if you opened that letter. So you put your fine brushes away and started down the stairs. The letter could wait, you tried to convince yourself as you scurried off to the Bridgertons’.

The heat that afternoon grew more intense by the minute, but Daphne and Eloise insisted on savoring the sunlight by sitting on the garden terrace. You quietly sipped your beverage as you surveyed the garden. The flowers were in full bloom, dashes of pink and white and red standing out against the earthy tones of the greenery. Bees buzzed by and you could hear the chirping of the songbirds if you listened for it. And there, in the center of it all, were Benedict and Colin, fencing with all the grace of two combative children. You snickered whenever Benedict let out the occasional curse, or whenever he bested Colin and wore that ridiculous victory smirk. 

However, the more you watched, the more difficult it became to rid yourself of the suspicion that you were feeling something more than just innocent amusement. Benedict was now covered with a thin sheen of sweat, his muscles tautened with every movement and his ragged breaths drew one of your own from you. You tried to drag your eyes away, focus on your drink, which was doing little to put out the flame you felt brewing within. It wasn’t until Eloise called your attention that you were able to see anything else. 

“Sorry!” you laughed nervously, and noticeably so. “What were you saying?”

“We were saying that we must be going.” Daphne replied. “Simon is here for me and Eloise is off to visit Penelope.” She stood up, gracefully smoothing out her champagne colored dress. “Will you be staying longer?” 

You glanced over at Benedict and Colin, who were striding toward your little group. “Yes, just a bit longer, I think.” Daphne gave you her warm smile and bid you goodbye for the day, Eloise trailing after her as she left. When you turned, the brothers were standing by you. 

“Good heavens!” you shrieked, not expecting their looming presence.

“You’re so easily startled.” Benedict laughed as he took the seat opposite you, where Daphne had been. Colin excused himself and left you both in each other’s company. “Hot, isn’t it?”

“You have no idea.” you remarked as you took another mousy sip of your drink. 

“You seem a bit – fidgety – of late. Are you doing well?” Benedict asked.

“I didn’t know you were such a keen observer.” you smirked.

He gave a sort of knowing chuckle. “You have no idea.”

You smiled, but your expression quickly faded as you recalled the pressures you had been feeling of late to marry. “The truth is I am feeling a bit low. My family wants nothing more than for me to see suitors, to select a person I hardly know and take him as my husband to live out the rest of our miserable days together.” You scanned his face for his reaction.

“Well, that sounds dreadful!” he scoffed. “Call me an idealist, but marriage is not something that can be forced. It should only ever be for love.”

“My thoughts exactly.” you nodded in firm agreement. “Have they started looking at ladies for you as well?”

“For me?” he asked incredulously, which caused you to be taken aback. “No, heavens, no! I do not intend to marry.”

“Never?” you inquired, your slight frown betraying you. “Not even for love?”

“It would have to be a love so strong it could bear any storm, one of those loves the poets write their sonnets about.” he stated with such determined an air you felt you couldn’t question him on the topic any further. “And I suggest you do the same. Do as you wish when you wish it, that’s how I intend to live.”

You couldn’t comprehend how easily he could dismiss something of such paramount importance in your life, so high up on your list of things you must do in order to maintain your social status, or even to simply keep a roof over your head that wasn’t your parents’.

“Well, I’m sure it’s different for men.” you fired back, eyes narrowing as if in some sort of philosophical duel. “Especially when you aren’t the eldest son. Life has no worries for you, it’s all just art and those women you waste away painting.” 

Benedict’s face fell slack. “No, you don’t understand. I didn’t-”

“I don’t understand?” you repeated bitterly as you stood from your seat, Benedict looking up at you with the sorriest of looks. “Do you wish to insult my intelligence as well, old friend? I understand plenty, and I have learned that the world will never be the same for you as it is for me, so I will leave you now to enjoy yet another idle afternoon of your dutiless, reckless life.”

You stormed your way through the house and onto the street, huffing and blowing like a bull ready to charge. How he infuriated you! How mad he drove you! At least your letter awaited you at home, and you would feel peace once again.

tagging: @velvetcloxds @oweninadaydream @holdthegirrrl @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @i-padfootblack-things @dd122004dd

[dollypopup]

"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"

I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.

Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.

I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.

And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.

Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.

Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.

Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.

And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.

And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?

Absolutely no one.

Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.

And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.

I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.

Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.

Because he saw her when she was invisible.

Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?

Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.

He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.

And he does.

[shinyhoundhandseagle]

The Emerald of the Season

Par 7/?

Eloise Bridgerton x Male Character

Part 6: https://www.tumblr.com/shinyhoundhandseagle/756501008512925696/the-emerald-of-the-season

Warning:

• • •

“Eloise”-. He whispered once they had separated, foreheads touching each other. It felt good, to get everything out of his chest and love her proudly.

“Seb”-. Her eyes were close but her hand kept touching his face and shoulders like they were trying to memorize them-. “They can’t see us like this, knowing my brothers they will either force you to marry me or duel you”.

“I was planning on marrying you either way”-. But still, he gave her some space-. “I have something for you”.

“What?”

His grand gesture and it came in form of a letter, that he swiftly handed to her. It took her a second to open it thanks to the fact that she couldn’t stop looking at him and his consuming eyes but once she did, her heart almost jumped out of her chest.

“Dear Lady Bridgerton,

With reference to your application for study at Oxford and upon further consideration, we have decided to make an exception of our only men rule and you will be allowed to join us in our classes, which include mathematics, history and others. It would be a pleasure to have you join our students.

Sincerely,

Oxford University”

• • •

“Oxford?! I didn’t even apply to any universities, they don’t even accept women and…”

The rant had lasted about 10 minutes before Lady Bridgerton had made her way back to the drawing room, worrying for Eloise, just to find her daughter walking around the room with the letter on her hand. Sebastian had explained to her what the letter was and now they were just waiting for Eloise to calm down.

“How did you get this?”- Suspicious eyes had turned to him. She was smart, she could figure it out on her own but knowing her, she wouldn’t stop asking either way.

“A good size donation can make people reconsider”-. Violet made a sound of surprise, knowing how big of a donation it must have been for them to allow something like this-. “I told you I wouldn’t get in the way of your education and I want to help you. You have been accepted and tuition has been paid, you just have to go”.

“Would you go with me?”- She whispered, talking a few steps on his direction. He looked down to his feet, knowing the answer wasn’t the one she wanted.

“I came here to find a wife but I must return to Spain once the season it’s over”.

“I thought you were planning on marrying me”.

“I wish to propose but I understand that marrying me would be required you to not go to school and I couldn’t forgive me myself if I took a once in a lifetime opportunity from you”-. His hands held her face gently, not caring about Violet’s look or anything else that wasn’t her-. “Go, become an educated woman, write to me while you’re away and I’ll come back when you get back. I’ll wait for you”.

“You better”.

• • •

The end of season came faster than they wanted and while excited for new adventures Eloise was dreading the moment to say goodbye. It had been nice, filled with calling hour visits, market expeditions and even balls had been better than before and now all of them had decided to spend a few days at Aubrey Hall before it was over.

Anthony and Kate had been waiting for them in the house and seem pretty excited to meet the Prince. Well Kate did, Anthony turned his overprotective brother act on the second he had heard the news.

The first family activity was of course a game of pall mall which surprisingly Sebastian had when hitting Anthony’s ball to the lake, making Kate laugh.

“Has he proposed yet?”- Anthony stood next to Violet with a stern look on his face. He didn’t like how all of this had been going on without him knowing-. “Or is he planning on not asking us?”

“Anthony…”

“I’m the Viscount, you should have told me about him or send him away. I have been talking to Benedict, he has hurt her and you’re happy with that?”

“Anthony, what do you wish to do?”- Violet looked at him, exasperated but not willing to allow him to be angry about this-. “Tell him to leave so Eloise can go back to starving and closing herself? This is out of my hands… and yours for that matter. They are happy together, that is all that matters”.

“Viscount, Lady Bridgerton”-. Both looked back to Sebastian, who started walking towards them. He seem nervous but kept it together-. “Would I be able to speak to you? In private”.

“Sure”.

All of them walked to the house, to Anthony’s office to be specific. Anthony sat by his desk, staring the Prince down, waiting for him to crack under pressure.

“As you know, I’ve been courting your sister. As I’m sure your brothers or mother have told you, I do not intend to propose until she comes back from her studies”-. He didn’t crack, he didn’t yield, just held Anthony’s stare with his own-. “I do wish to ask for permission before she leaves”.

“And why would I say yes?”

“Anthony…”

“No, he hurt Eloise! Left her alone to suffer for however long, how do I know it won’t happen again?”

“I wanted to give her something, the chance to education that women are not allowed to have and that took time”-. The accusations and knowledge of her hurt were killing him but that wasn’t a priority right now-. “Letters, money and politics take time. I never meant to hurt your sister and for that I plan to spend the rest of my life paying it back but I am here now, as an honest man, asking you to let me make her happy. If she does not wish to marry when she comes back, I will understand. I will step back and let her be free of me but she will have to say so”.

“She told you she did not want to see her again and you didn’t listen to her”.

“I wanted to have a chance to speak my mind, to show her kindness and mercy when no one else did”-. He shot a look at Violet before going back to Anthony with a stern look-. “Eloise has been alone since before I met her. She fought alone against people like Lady Cowper because none of you fully stood up against them but I can. I can stop them from hurting her and help her be her own person in a way that you can not. Will you take that away from her?”

• • •

The guest room that the Bridgerton’s had given him was nice. It was spacious, clean and private, allowing him to write some letters to his family and court. He had sent Marcel off to bed a few minutes ago when there was a knock on the door.

“Marcel, what do you want now?”- But it wasn’t Marcel at the door. It was Eloise.

She stood there in the darkness, with the moonlight making her skin glow. A simple, long and white nightgown dressing her figure and beautiful hair down. The hall was empty, just her and her beauty.

“Eloise, is everything alright?”- A whispered was the only thing that came out of his mouth. If anyone saw them together in the late hour of the night, there would be havoc.

“Could I come in?”- Knowing better was one thing, but doing better was not his strongest suit so, against everything he knew was right, he let her in. Watching her as she closed and lock the door behind herself with a shy smile-. “I’m sorry if I’ve woken you, I just… this is the last time we can spend time together, just the two of us”.

“I understand but if someone came in and saw us without a chaperone…”

“I do not care”-. The statement did not take him by surprise. Actually what would have been surprising was if Eloise cared about anyone’s opinion, which made him smile-. “I needed to see you”.

“I feel the same way”-. It felt like his feet had a mind of their own. Step forward, step back. He wanted her lips on his, her hands on his face but it was one thing to kiss her in the middle of the day, knowing that her mother was behind the close door and kissing her now, while both of them were dressed for bed and there was no one around-. “El, this is inappropriate”.

“Is it?”- Step forward, step back, her back pressed against the door until it was not. Getting closer and closer to him, ending with her curious hands on his chest-. “You desire me, do you not?”

“El…”

“I want you”-. It was a simple statement but it brought so much in him. They hadn’t kiss since that afternoon and for the past weeks he had be thinking, dreaming, of kissing her again-. “And I want you”.

This time it was him that kissed her, grabbing her waist with one hand and her face with the other. The kiss was hungry, it was the food and air both of them needed right now. He had hoped that kissing her would extinguish the fire but it did not, it just made it worse. Fire, burning every pore, consuming them. Her hands running through his hair and playing with the buttons on his shirt. His lips pulling away while his hands grabbed hers, gaining a moan of disappointment.

“You will not bed me?”- The complaint made him laugh. Grabbing her waist, moving her to one of the chairs where she sat angrily.

“I will not, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do other stuff”.

• • •

Today was the day. Eloise would be leaving any second now and once she left for Oxford, Sebastian would leave for Spain. The goodbyes to her family were bittersweet, hating to leave them but having an opportunity she did not have before. Hugs for Benedict, Anthony and Colin, promises to write to Hyacinth and Gregory and kisses for her mother was all that she could give them.

“Are you ready?”- The drawing room had become a special room for them so it made sense to have their last conversation in there. Both of them dressed for travel, holding their hearts together just one more time.

“As ready as I can be”-. She could see her mother and Lady Danbury over the corner of her eye, pretending not the eavesdrop. It almost made her giggle-. “My clothes are packed and already on the carriage. What about you?”

“The Spanish is waiting for me back home, they seem to be happy with my return”.

“I’m glad to hear that”-. The reply was genuine. It made her happy to know he would be welcome but hated the idea of losing him, even if it was just temporary.

“Do not find another Prince while we’re away”-. Jokingly pushing her arm while begging her to wait with his eyes-. “I do know I will not be able to find someone that compares to you”.

“I’m just that incredible”.

“I meant more like the headaches”-. They laughed once more as they started to walk outside, fingers grazing each other. The carriage was waiting outside for her, Marcel asking the driver a magnitude of questions-. “Marcel leave the man”.

“I must know if he knows the routes, I can not allow him to guide our future Queen if his incapable”.

“Goodbye Marcel”-. Her hug was unexpected but well received. He had learn to like her and she just cared for him too-. “Make sure our Prince gets home safe”.

“I will protect him with my life”.

“Be safe El”-. The final goodbye was always the worst but he wanted to love her one more time-. “You will do great and you will make us all proud. I still stand by what I said, I love you and I’ll wait for you”.

“I will see you soon Seb, my heart has stayed with you so be careful in your journey”.

One last look was all they had as she said waved goodbye from inside the carriage and with a heavy heart he watched her leave.

[reno11037]

My Live (kinda) P:EG Chapter 1 thoughts

SPOILERS AHEAD

I thought it be fun to make a post AS I play chapter one, like literally writing this as I play, I’ll also do this when the other chapters come out

Some time later I’ll make another post discussing some things in better detail

With all that out of the way, let’s begin

__________

Downloading now

Launching and loading now

Chat I am not fucking ready for this lmao

Starting the chapter now

Opening looks so fucking sick, chat they cooked

Here we go, I’m so not ready 😭

Dorm rooms aren’t soundproof lmao

Damon’s room looks fucking sick, I love the layout of it

THERES A FUCKING REFERENCE TO DAMIAN, HES ON THE CALENDER LMAO (who if you don’t know is a cut character)

Damon called him sexy, Damon gay confirmed/J

A stage?

OH A CHIBI TOZU

Bitch just called me a chicken

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

FBI OPEN UP

THE CALENDERS ARE THEMED, DIANA GOT HORSES, TOZU LIGET LOOKED AT DAMON AND SAID ‘lmao you gay ass’

Neverminds all the girls got horses and the guys got Damian

MEETING TIME

Cool we got a map now

Lmao the name alpha sanctuary

Opp Wolfie don’t trust Damon or Eva

Diana to the rescue :D

TOZU JUMPSCARE

Lol Eloise calling him a villain

We got the rules

Desmond called him ‘Goat Guy’ lol

The shutter door opened

Exploring time

Nice looking room

A pharmacy?

And old looking pharmacy

lol Kai just worried about someone (or him) getting high on the drugs (good thing I use paint thinner/J)

Aww Ingrid’s not mad at Damon 🥺

Ok I love Ingrid omfg 🥺 she called Damon cute (she called his suit cute but still)

Ok I guess I’m helping her with laundry, i didn’t mean to click, I thought Damon would answer for me 😭

A back room? It looks like the store from DR2

Cassidy called Damon Damie, I love that nickname

Damn this area fucking large

FUCKING TOZU JUMOSCARE

Marabucks mention

One of Cassidy’s lines is ‘better zip up my fly, my genus is showing’ and I don’t know if I love it or hate it

Medical bed room 👀

Toshiko called Damon Mochi, FUCK THE OTHER NICKNAMES, I LOVE THIS ONE

Toshiko is scared of needles, she’s so me

Great another lab

Tozu plushies? I hate him but FUCK I want one

Ooohh Ingrid found a pin pad, has anyone tried 11037?

Never mind it’s only 4digits

LMAO CASIDY PUT 8008 IN THE PINPAD

Oooh we all got profiles now

Oh so they all can see each others profiles

Eva’s profile?

WHAT?? WHAT IS IT???

…

Ultimate Mathlete

lol everyone’s on Eva’s ass

Why the fuck is she so upset, it’s not that bad??

Opp she left

Welp back to the dorm

Someone’s at the door

A lot of people, everyone

So everyone’s lock is broken

Oh now I feel bad for Eva, she don’t look okay

oooohhh Toshiko playing matchmaker

Opp never mind

Splitting by gender

OOOOHHH DAMON GOT PAIRED WITH KAI

👀👀👀👀

I hate Kai’s fucking room, WHY IS IT SO PINK AND FLAMMABLE

Dividing the room I see? I’ve read this fanfic before lol

And back to the stage with Chibi Tozu

Cats and dreams?

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Ooh letters

WTF WOLFGANG??

…

Welp

Wolf in sheep’s clothing?

Oh it’s his dad

Oh everyone got a letter

Oh it’s everyone’s secrets, I wanna know what Damon is (he’s gay lol/j)

FUCKING TOZU JUMPSCARE

Opp the first motive

Damon trying to get Tozus attention, trying to meet up with him

FREE TIME, WOLFGANG WHERE ARE YOU

USING MY MARABUCKS AND GETTING HIM A GIFT

GOT SOMETHHING HE’LL LIKE, OOOHH WOLFIE

HE LOVED IT

Oh his profile got updated

ANOTHER FREETIME?? OH WOLFIE

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Opp it’s time to meet with Tozu

Here we go

…

And Tozu ain’t here

Nevermind he’s here now

Why Damon got Wolfgang’s secret

It was literally darts lol

Like father like son, wolf in sheep’s clothing…

Is his Wolfgang’s dad a killer or something?

Welp back to Kai

Oh Graces is swapping with ulesses (idk how to spell his name nor do I care cuz idc bout him lol)

Back to the stage with Chibi Tozu

Ships?

Oh boat ships

Boy with cream colored hair? Damon? Idk if his hair is cream colored but idk who else

Tozu built a ship? So did his friend?

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Opp knocks on the door

Hello Ingrid ☺️

Laundry day and Kai is coming with

Oh Wolfie and Grace are here

LMAO WOLFIE CANT CLEAN OR DO LAUNDRY

I love Ingrid 🥺, she’s so gonna die tho lol

OMG I LOVE HER SINGING VOICE 🥺🥺🥺

Lmao Wolfie putting the entire bottle of detergent in

Oooh getting breakfast with Kai 👀

Oh Eva

She wants to talk to Damon?

Oh it’s Desmond’s secret

Oh Eva trusts Damon🥺 cause we took her side earlier

Oh she apologized to Damon 🥺

Now we showing her Wolfgang’s

So Wolfies dad did something bad and Wolfie is like him, like father like son

Eva lied about her talent cause she felt powerless??

Oh, oh Eva🥺 baby SHES PRECIOUS

Yea Damon and Eva are trusting each other 🥺

OH SHE SMILED 🥺🥺🥺

Opp Grace is yelling at Eloise

Opp Wolfie is upset at Damon and Eva for being late

Oh Cassidy and Jett

Oh she got games

Oooh a game tornament

Tomorrow at 9

Ok so Eloise, Wolfie and Diana won’t be there

ANOTHER FREE TIME??

I don’t have anything for Wolfgang so I’ll go spend it with Eva

Damn WHERE TF IS SHE???

Found her! Finally!

She liked by gift ☺️

She looks so depressed 🥺 my baby🥺 omfg I love her, I didn’t like her at first but now I love her

And her profile got updated

DAMN ANOTHER FREETIME??? THATS 4 IN ONE CHAPTER???

Back to Eva I guess

She liked my present

Oh Damon is allergic to dogs

Oh so Eva was forced into her talent, poor baby 🥺

Oh she was bullied too 🥺

And her profile got updated again

Oh Diana,

She wants to know how Damon is but the song Isolation is playing? TF does she really want?

Oh she is SO sus

She wants to know if Eva said something? Thank you Damon for not telling Diana

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Kai trying to convince Damon to go to the tournament 🥺👀

And he succeeded and in return

THEY SHARING THE BED👀👀👀

IVE READ THIS FANFIC BEFORE

Back again with the stage and chibi Tozu

He had a dream

In class

Idk what he’s saying and idc lol

All I heard was Swiss Army Banana wtf is he on and how do I get some of it lol

Oh Kai is waking Damon up

They slept through the morning announcement

To the tournament

Only Damon, Kai, Eva, Cassidy, Jett and Mark are here

Oh Eva helped set it up

Oh she’s a fan of the game, people are totally gonna ship her and Cassidy now aren’t they cause I am a little lol

Jean is supposed to be here but he ain’t

Eva likes video games, she’s SO getting shipped with Cassidy. Damn now I need fanart

Oh Kai’s back

OH KAI IS SHOWING DAMON HOW TO PLAY CUTE☺️👀🥺

Jean is here

So is Grace

Oh Mark doesn’t want to talk about his talent?

OH I LOVE THE SPLASH ART THIS IS SO CUTE 🥺🥺

OH SHIT A KA-BOOM

Uh oh powers out

Using the trinkets as flashlights, smart move Jean

Ok Eva coming up with a plan to turn the power back on

Damn this looks like a horror game now

Searching in pairs and Damon is with Kai again

Aw poor Kai is scared🥺

Opp someone just ran past

Opp the boiler room, are we gonna see a dead body?

It’s silent

Oh

OH

And can’t see shit

Oh the power is back on

Lights on, dead body?

Oh

OH

????

Who

WOLFGANG NO

FUCK NO WHY

I CANT BELIEVE HES THE FIRST VICTIM NO

FUCK WHY HIM, WHY SOMEONE I CARED ABOUT???

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

A body has been discovered

Well time to investigate I guess, I’m so fucking sad I can’t believe Wolfgang was the fist victim

And Kai ran off screaming

My first guess is that he got electrocuted, there doesn’t seem to be any blood

Here comes everyone

Here’s Tozu too

Oh Toshiko is crying, GURL SO AM I 😭😭😭

We got the Tozu tablet

He was in the water in the boiler room so he did get electrocuted? At least it was quick😭

Bye Tozu

Oh Diana already looking sus

Investigating time

I’m not gonna say a lot, I’ll do that in my later post about the chapter

I wanna completely focus here cause I’m stupid lol

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Investigatings over, trial time and I have no idea wtf happened lmao

All I know is Wolfie got electrocuted

Class trial starting, I probs won’t say a lot till it’s over cause I wanna focus

I’m so fucking confused lmao

I fucking hate rebuttal showdown, I DONT KNOW WHAT TF IM DOING 😭😭😭

WTF I KNEW DIANA WAS SUS BUT I DIDNT THINK SHE BE A KILLER I IN THE FIRST CHAPTER WTF

Oh nevermind she just watched him die?

Teatime with Tozu, I lowkey want that art as a poster ngl

NGL THESE DISHEVELED SPRITES OF WOLFGANG ARE LOWKEY KINDA HOT, SOMETHING ABOUT A MAN WITH BAGS UNDER HIS EYES ❤️😍🥵

OH DAMN THE KNIFE SPRITES

Bring her back??? TF IS HE GOING ON ABOUT??? HIS MOM???

So Diana used the taser gun on Wolfgang and then watched him die?

Opp nevermind

Is Wolfgang drugged or something??

OH DAMN KA-BOOM

Oh so Diana was framed

OH so Wolfgang was hallucinating, so he WAS drugged

Ingrid just said something sus…

I SWEAR IF ITS HER IM GONNA LOSE IT, I JUST STARTED LOVING HER 😭😭😭

Oh Damon said ‘that guy’ so it’s not her, is it Jett??? I LEGIT DONT KNOW

OH IT IS JETT??

Oh no it’s not him, killer just took something from his room

Oh wait, WAS IT SOMEONE FROM THR TOURNAMENT??? Throwing the battery through the vent???

Oh no the battery was suspended over the generator nvm

I still have no idea who tf killed Wolfgang tho

The cord was tied to the vent, SO IT WAS SOMEONE FROM THE TOURNAMENT THEN???

HOLY FUCK IT IS

WAS IT JETT??

Oh no

WAIT

EVA??

HOLY FUCK IT WAS HER

WTF I JUST STARTED LOVING HER I HATE IT HERE

It really was her, FUCK I HATE IT HERE, I JUST STARTED LOVING YOU WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS 😭😭😭

WTF EVA JUST EXPOSING DAMON FOR HAVING WOLFGANGS SECRET

OH DAMN NOW EVA TWEAKING

SHE USED THE CAMRRA?? Also did her accent change??

She used her game console, that’s fucked

Comic recap time, I still can’t believe it was Eva, I JUST STARTED TO LIKE HER, I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST A BITCH

End of class trial, FINALLY THO CAUSE BY ASS HURTS FROM SITTING SO LONG

Eva’s motive…

It was Tozu?? Tf you mean he ‘made you’?

She’s a traitor?? We got a traitor reveal THIS EARLY??

Oh nvm

So Eva approached Tozu

They made a deal??

To begin the killing game??? WTF EVA

So she did it to get a perk??

So the life or death secret about the pharmacy was the perk??

So Eva solved the life or death secret, got into the pin pad room and got the perk. Damn

and the pin is being changed again so possibly someone else could get it

The perk lets you used the cameras, damn that’s a good perk

Tf you mean you had no choice Eva??

So she did it so she could escape and leave everyone for dead

😑 I knew I fucking disliked you from the second I saw your ass

‘I’m always the one…that people hated’ oh Eva

DONT MAKE ME CARE FOR YOUR ASS AGAIN

Tf you mean you still would have died cuz of the perk??

Oh

So if Eva didn’t kill someone then she would die

Opp voting time

BYE EVA

Execution time!

Opp Eva getting dragged away like Leon in THH

At least she’s putting up a fight

Opp nvm

So far it doesn’t look at that bad

…

I was wrong

Opp she running now

Raining math stuff

And she tripped

And she stabbed herself on the math stuff

And nails

She’s crying 😭

Oh Cara’s puppet there giving her a hand, and her hand came off

And Eva fell

Oh Damon, seeing him cry watching Eva die HURTS

Everyone’s crying now

Diana lying to herself again??

She blames herself for nay saving Wolfgang, oh sweetie 😢

Oh she’s gonna live for him, cute 🥺

Oh Diana, I fucking love you holy shit

Everyone leaving

Damon

Damon I love you but tf you mean Diana pissed you off??

AND CHAPTER OVER

Damn that was wild holy shit

The devs COOKED WITH THIS ONE

[shelbslouir]

More than slightly angry rant: Penelope Featherington is COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED with what she writes in Lady Whistledown and I'm tired of pretending she wasn't. Let's start with Marina, in the first episode you can tell Penelope likes Colin and doesn't like him courting Marina, but she doesn't say anything or make a big deal out of it. Then when Penelope finds out Marina is Pregnant she doesn't go off to immediately print it in Whistledown, and even tries to help Marina with letters from George Crane. And when lord Rutledge is courting Marina, Penelope feels bad for her, and it isn't till Marina starts thinking about trapping Colin into a marriage that Penelope starts to change her mind. Penelope said to Marina that she shouldn't do it to Colin and that he's a good person, and literally says, "You can pick anybody but him." but Marina doesn't care and continues with her plan anyways. Even before the Bridgertons come over for dinner at the Featherington's home Penelope tries to convince her family that this plan won't work and they don't listen to her. Then while at the dinner, Penelope tries to talk to Colin privately about the situation without fully ruining Marina's reputation and breaking Colin's heart, but of course, Colin brushes it off. And I know a lot of people are like, "wHy DiDn'T sHe JuSt TeLl HiM tHe TrUtH?!" I think I might know why. For one thing, her family would be furious at her for revealing this to the Bridgertons, secondly, it's obvious to everyone that Penelope likes Colin (with him and Eloise being the exceptions) and didn't look too happy to hear about the engagement so even if she did tell another Bridgerton, they might just think she was lying and saying it just so that Colin wouldn't marry Marina. But even after all of that, Penelope is running out of solutions to save Colin from a life of lies. So, she talks to Marina one last time to try and change her mind and tell her that George didn't give up on her and that the letters were fake. Then, Marina insults Penelope and her crush on Colin and says really hurtful shit to Penelope after she has given Marina so many chances to change her plans and doesn't. Marina left Penelope with one last solution, Whistledown, it was too late for her to try something else as Colin and Marina were going to elope the next morning, so Penelope did the very last she wanted to do and wrote about Marina. It wasn't like Penelope was happy about writing about Marina either because she preceded to run over to Eloise crying. I started writing about the Eloise situation in S2 and ran out of space, so I wrote a second post that's out right now, go find it!

[rubysunnday]

Would I run off the world someday?

summary: the urge to run away sometimes becomes utterly unavoidable

It was a quiet, cloudy afternoon in the Kent countryside. The wisteria clinging to the outside walls of Aubrey Hall occasionally danced as the wind swept over it. After the chaotic first few weeks of the season, a sense of calm had finally arrived as the endless invites slowed down. There was always an inevitable lull a few weeks into the season - the ton tended to forget how exhausting attending ball after ball was. 

And, for the first time in a while, there was harmony in the drawing room of Aubrey Hall. Benedict and Colin sat on a sofa, both drawing into their sketchbooks. Colin was finishing up a sketch he’d started out in Greece, one that depicted the ruins of the former temples, whilst Benedict swept the page with his charcoal, trying to draw Y/N as she sat on the sofa opposite, embroidering a bunch of honeysuckle. Daphne sat next to her, quietly embroidering the Basset family crest.

Anthony was sitting at his table, completely engrossed in that morning’s newspaper. Gregory sat opposite him, concentrating on his latin, carefully writing down each word with his quill. Eloise and Hyacinth sat at the other table, both quietly munching on the tray of cakes the cook had sent up whilst reading the latest edition of Lady Whistledown. Francesca was sitting at the piano, scribbling away at her sheet music with a pencil.

A comfortable silence had settled over the siblings as they all went about their own business. 

“Now, Y/N, darling, I’ve invited the Earl of Shaftesbury to dine with us on Friday when we return to London,” Violet announced, walking into the drawing room. She was holding several letters, all with different crests stamped into their wax seals. 

Y/N looked up, holding her needle between two fingers. “Who?”

Violet paused and looked down at her. “The Earl of Shaftesbury,” she repeated, raising her eyebrows expectantly. “You danced with him just last week at the Cowper Ball.”

Y/N turned her head and looked at Daphne. “I did?” She whispered, leaning over to her sister.

Daphne leant in. “Third dance of the night. He was wearing a dark blue coat and introduced himself as Francis.”

“Oh, the earl,” Y/N said, sitting up right and nodding. “Did you invite anyone else? Perhaps Elisabeth Jordan might like to join us as well - she’s been to Greece too, Colin.”

“No, just the earl,” Violet replied, smiling. She was clearly up to something, Y/N knew that. “I thought it might be good for the two of you to get to know one another better.”

There it was.

Y/N said nothing, turning back to her embroidery with a sigh. It was her mother’s mission to see each one of her children happily married and expecting a child of their own within a year of that marriage. She struggled to accept the fact that some people just weren’t meant to be married. Or that some people may not want children. It was perfectly reasonable - there would be rumours swirling around about why but they would fade soon enough.

“Oh, Y/N, dear, don’t give me that look,” Violet said, turning to face her daughter. “I’m doing this for you!”

“I danced with him once, mama.”

“He’s an excellent match! He’s intelligent, kind and would be advantageous for you!” Violet folded the letters back up again. “I expect you to be there and I expect you to sit next to him and make polite conversation.”

“Mama -”

“No, Y/N. I’ve given you plenty of time to make the first move yourself. We’re four weeks into the season and you have had endless callers but you have not followed up with a single one.”

Y/N set aside her embroidery hoop and turned to face her mother. She wasn’t in the mood to be berated. “Has it ever occurred to you, mother, that perhaps I don’t want to get married yet? That, maybe, I don’t want to have children either?”

Everyone in the room froze. No one dared to raise their heads or even make eye contact with one another. Anthony risked a glance up and over at his sister, silently proud of her for making a stand, whilst also knowing the conversation was inevitably about to get nasty. 

Violet blinked. She blinked again. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I mean,” Y/N sat up, sitting on the edge of the sofa, “what if I am quite content to simply… entertain myself for the foreseeable future? I do not understand why my future has to depend on my making an advantageous match. I am perfectly happy as I am right now.”

“That may be so, dear, but you cannot expect to be that way forever!” Violet laughed but there was no humour in it.. “Eventually, like all of us, you will move out to live with your husband.”

“But what if I do not want to get married?”

“You do not have a choice, Y/N,” Violet grounded out. “It is what is expected of you.”

“Yet, it isn’t expected of the men,” Eloise chimed in, keeping her eyes focused on Whistledown.

“There are rules for men and rules for women and whilst I agree that it is unfair, that is the hand we have been dealt,” Violet continued, barely sparing Eloise a glance. 

Y/N looked at her mother. “I understand that. But why do I have to get married this season?” She sighed. “I just want a year to adjust to everything because, despite the preparation, there is a lot I was not prepared for.”

“The longer you wait, the harder it becomes,” Violet continued, refusing to back down. “Besides, if you get married this year, next year you can enjoy the season with your children.”

“And if I don’t want children?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N, of course you want children.”

“I don’t want children,” Eloise called.

“Eloise,” Violet warned, glaring at her. She looked back at Y/N. “Children are a part of life, dearest. The joy of building your own family is second to none.”

“But what if I don’t want to,” Y/N tried again. “I have no interest in having any of my own, mama. I have no need to!”

“Your husband would disagree,” Violet said firmly, clearly indicating that the conversation was over. “I will hear no more of this. The earl is coming next week and you will try your hardest to win him over.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows and huffed a sigh out. She stood up and brushed past her mother, pulling open the drawing room door and disappearing out of it without a word.

Anthony sighed, folding his newspaper shut. “I’ll go,” he grumbled, following after his sister.

Y/N almost ran down the stairs, as desperate to get away as she was. She took a corner sharply and bumped into a maid, nearly knocking her into a nearby table. 

As she stormed into the stables, the stable hand looked a little alarmed but said nothing, hurrying out of her way. Y/N’s horse was already saddled up. Before her mother had ruined her afternoon, she had been planning on going out for a ride with her brothers.

She was still going to do that - just a little faster and with less care about how she looked afterwards. 

Y/N swung up onto her horse and gathered the reins into her hands, squeezing with her knees to urge her horse onwards. She tightened the reins and as they emerged out of the stables and past the back door, they were almost at a canter.

Anthony stepped out the back door as Y/N rode past, her horse clearly responding to its riders' need to run away and fast. He swore softly and ran down to the stables, snatching his horse's reins from the stablehand and swinging his leg up and over.

He urged his horse on and soon he too was cantering out the stables and down the path that led into the woods. Y/N was just too far ahead of him which made it difficult to catch up, especially when she was clearly encouraging her horse to ride flat out.

Y/N was oblivious to her frantic older brother chasing after her. The adrenaline rushing through her veins drowned at any and all thoughts she had of her future - the uncertainty around her life and who she would end up with. It drowned out the all consuming feeling of knowing you had no control over anything and instead, all she could hear was the wind rushing through her ears and her horses grunts as he pulled at the reins, wanting to go even faster. 

She obliged, letting the reins go a little bit more. It was too fast, Y/N knew that. But her desperation to run and keep on running was overwhelming - it was blinding her, rendering her numb. 

Her horse gradually began to slow down as he ran out of energy. Y/N didn’t fight it. Anthony managed to catch up with them, reaching over and snatching the reins from Y/N’s hands and bringing them both to a controlled stop, just metres away from the edge of the lake. 

Y/N looked ahead, panting hard, sweat beading on her brow. The wind had torn her hair from its pins and tendrils stuck to her face, knotted together. Mud splattered up the hem of her pale blue dress and her arms were speckled with goosebumps. 

Anthony looked at her. He raised an eyebrow. “Feel better?”

Y/N swallowed, her mouth dry. “Do you ever feel like you're suffocating?”

Anthony turned his horse to face Y/N. He sat up, straightening his back and sighed. “Every day.”

“I never used to.” Y/N breathed heavily, brushing her hair back from her face with a shaking hand. “Not until this year. Now it’s all balls and suitors and marriage - and I have no control over any of it. It’s like my life is no longer my own.”

“That’s exactly how I felt after father died. I was suddenly thrust into a role I hadn’t been properly prepared for and no one asked me how I felt. I went from Anthony to Viscount in a matter of moments and I had no control over any of it.”

Anthony rarely opened up like this - was rarely vulnerable like this. He shielded himself from his family and never let them see more than he wanted them to. Whether it was out of fear of judgement of lack of understanding, Y/N didn’t know. Anthony was the one thing that held the Bridgerton’s together and perhaps he thought that if he broke, then so would everyone else. 

Y/N didn’t remember much of her father’s death and the days that followed. Benedict had told her how Anthony had shoved his own grief to the side and had taken control - had become the viscount. It helped her mind to know that Anthony too felt like he was suffocating. 

“I feel like I’m running down a hill and I can’t stop,” Y/N said, her words still a little spaced out as she caught her breath. “There’s a giant rock chasing me and if I stop, even for a second, I’ll be hit.” Anthony kept quiet, letting his sister run through her thoughts. “I have only been out in society for a month and yet, I am expected to have fallen in love already - to have decided on marriage and who the father of my children will be. I barely know what my favourite colour is, Anthony. How am I meant to make such a significant decision at barely eight and ten years of age?”

Anthony shrugged. His horse snorted, tossing his head back. “Society seems to think you are old enough.”

“Fuck society.”

Anthony snorted. He couldn’t help it. His sister rarely swore - it wasn’t proper - but when she did, it always made him laugh. His snort elicited a smile from Y/N and Anthony matched it. 

“I can talk to mother,” Anthony said, “and tell her to take a step back.”

Y/N closed her eyes, the wind blowing around them. “Do you think it would help?”

Anthony paused. “I don’t know. It would give you time to get your head straight.”

“But all the eligible men might be gone.”

Anthony nodded. “There is that element to it.”

“Then I appear to have no choice.” Y/N sighed, looking defeated. 

“Meet with the Earl of Shaftesbury next week,” Anthony said. “See how the dinner goes, how he is around you and take it from there. If he is not the right person then we will try again. You may not be able to avoid marriage and children for as long as you’d like, but we can take our time with finding the right husband for you.”

Y/N nodded, pressing her lips together. “That would help. But if I don’t find a match this season -”

“Then we try again next season,” Anthony replied simply. “Besides, do you honestly think Eloise will be getting married this season?”

“I don’t think Eloise will be getting married full stop, Anthony,” Y/N muttered, guiding her horse to turn around. She urged it forward and Anthony followed, the two siblings slowly walking back to the house. “It’s a miracle she’s agreed to attend any balls at all.”

“Bribery works miracles,” Anthony said, smiling to himself. “I just really hope Francesca is more compliant - I only have so much money spare each month.”

Y/N laughed. She looked over at her brother and smiled at him. “Thank you for listening. It helps to know I’m not alone.”

Anthony tilted his head to the side in acknowledgement. “I will always listen, Y/N and I will always have your back.”

[faneliansficaloh]

A Lifetime of Happiness

Chapter 1

Notes

------------

19 September, 1817

Dear Penelope,

I am told it is currently Spring here. As I write there is a cool breeze from the ocean coming in from a window I have opened. I am afraid I cannot do justice to the sights I’ve been exposed to. My head is perhaps still too confused from the long time at sea and my vocabulary spent on the journal I’ve kept of the journey.

The hardest part as you can imagine has been to wrestle a couple of four year olds in the confinements of a vessel, but we have managed with aplomb. There were a couple of families with children on board, so they already have made some friends. Ollie seemed to have more of a hard time of it than Amy. I’m afraid I have somehow passed on what Anthony calls my tender sensibilities to Ollie while Amy seems to have gotten a great determination from Marina.

I am filled with optimism, though, as I breathe the air in this place that is so far from every home I have known, that I am granted the opportunity to start anew and stop dwelling in the past, at least the hurtful parts, for there are memories I will never want gone.

I hope everything is well in Surrey, where I believe you will be when this letter makes its way across the vast ocean that safely keeps us apart. And speaking of the opposition of the stars, have you had any news from other faraway travellers?

Yours, Colin.

1813 – Shattered.

“How long have you known?” Was his booming greeting once she turned up in front of him. She motioned for her maid to leave them alone and he only barely waited until she seemed far enough not to overhear and continued in a lower voice, seething “About her condition, how long have you known?” It was a warm summer day, but a shiver ran down her spine.

“Colin, I -” She stammered as she was not prepared for the rage in his face. She had never before seen him this angry, it both pained and frightened her and she felt he truly towered over her. She had never imagined she could ever be this afraid of him. “I tried telling you!”

“What a fool you and your whole family have made of me!” He exploded, his face red, his eyes bright with tears “I can understand this wretchedness in the rest of your family, Pen, but I never - not from you! I thought you my friend!” The way he hissed out his accusation felt even worse than the previous outburst. Something between them had irremediably shattered in that moment and lay in fine pieces along with her broken heart, which at this point felt like it had been ground to a fine dust already.

She controlled the instinctive urge she had to defend herself and instead looked at him compassionately, speaking in as calm a tone as she could manage while fighting back tears of her own. After all, she had had plenty of time to think about the situation and she always ended up reaching the same conclusion.

“Would it have mattered?” She raised a hand to stop him from his rushed response “Truly, Colin. Would you not have married her anyway if you had known? I tried, I truly did try to tell you, surely you must remember that? But you were so in love! I am sorry I delayed, I should have tried sooner, I should have just told you the whole truth in front of her, but at that time I still felt I should spare her the humiliation – I didn’t think she’d be capable of --.” She shook her head, unable to say the words “The truth is I lacked courage and when I finally gathered it, well, how was I supposed to know you were eloping that very night?”

“But you knew about the elopement. You told Eloise and my mother” He had taken a seat on a bench under a tree, looking at nothing in the distance. He would have stormed out of there if he didn’t dread going anywhere else. As mad as he was, he felt less trapped in that spot in the Featherington garden than in any other place he’d ever called home.

“I wasn’t privy to the exact details of your plan, Colin. I believed you were waiting at least until the morning.” She said with a shrug and sat beside him, and hesitating, because she dreaded his answer, she added “I understand if you do not wish to speak to me ever again. I knew you might never forgive me, even if I wish you would”

He gave her a hard side look that made her blood feel cold, but he averted his eyes and shook his head “I wish you would have told me everything. Why didn’t you come to me directly?”

She shook her head vigorously and told him in barely contained anger, as she relieved her own pain, accumulated but deftly buried during the last months. She stood up. “You immediately dismissed me without giving me a chance, Colin. You did not take me seriously when I tried and Marina interrupted us… you weren’t ever going to take me seriously. You treated me like a little girl who didn’t know what she was talking about” She had had an epiphany right then and there: he never really did take her seriously. Nobody ever did, why would he be any different? Her knuckles were white as her hands were clenched, fighting the urge to run away; Marina had been right, he thought of her no differently than he did his little sisters.

He was taken aback, Penelope had never talked to him like that. He had never seen her this upset and he felt a pang of shame that left him momentarily breathless. She was right, he had dismissed her as a young girl with too-romantic notions. He had felt so much more mature than her and absolutely disregarded her because he knew better. “Well, I am sorry I did not take your words more seriously. You are certainly not at fault for my stupidity.” His face was still hard and he did not look at her as he said this, his eyes fixed on the ground.

It took her a moment to collect herself, she was angry at having been dismissed but it still pained her to see him so dejected now “You were misguided, but acting out of love is not stupid, I do not blame you for choosing love.”

They remained there without saying anything else for a long moment, the gentle rustle of the soft wind against the trees’ leaves and the birds chirping and their wings flapping filling in the silence, a clear indication that the world would not stop for this. Little by little his anger had dissolved into an emptiness, he felt hollow. He knew none of it was truly Penelope’s fault -he had been the one who decided to rush and to trust someone he had known for a very short time instead of listening to an old friend. How could he have gotten it into his head that he and Marina knew each other so well?

There had been tears on their wedding night, which Marina had claimed were happy tears, but he was not that big of a fool, however much he felt like one ever since. He knew right then – but already much too late- that something was off.

As soon as they were alone in their inn room, she had flung herself into his arms, clinging desperately to him, her hands caressing him, undressing and kissing him frantically, desperately, a display that seemed much like ardent desire, but for a moment it felt to him as if she were trying to ease a pain she had deep inside, like a wounded creature trying to find refuge in his arms. Now, after having gone through his memory of that night hundreds of times since then, he was sure he could not recall her face, because she must have been avoiding his gaze or perhaps he had closed his eyes – whether this was a metaphor or an actual physical occurrence, he could not tell any more.

In that moment he had been completely overcome by her touch, however, consumed by desire and then – what finally broke the dam of his feelings and did away with any hesitation that might have existed in his mind – she started repeating “I love you, I love you, I love you!” with such frantic devotion that he believed her; he blissfully believed her to be fully his and allowed himself to get lost in her as she insisted “I need you”. But then, when they were deep into each other, he noticed tears in her eyes. It was almost too late, but still he asked if they should stop, if everything was alright, if he had hurt her, but she shook her head vigorously and asked him “Please do not stop” as she moaned and trembled under him, overcome by her release, and at that point he just couldn’t stop any more.

It didn’t take him long to realize, no matter how much he didn’t want to and how hard Marina kept trying to convince them both that she was blissfully happy to be his wife, that those words, those fervent “I love yous” and that desire had not been meant for him at all. Penelope’s words had been already haunting him, as a low whisper first and then loudly screaming in his face “Her heart belongs to another”. But it was too late.

Very soon, too, it was no longer possible to deny the pregnancy, or rather how impossibly advanced it was. He had been taken for a fool, he had been used. Had she really thought he wouldn’t notice? He had seen her mother carry her younger siblings, and even if he hadn’t, he was simply not the idiot she had taken him for. And she didn’t tell him. She lied and used him like a tool to fix a problem. She did not love him at all.

“What do you plan to do now?” Penelope finally asked, rescuing him from his memories, bringing him back to reality. She went back to sit beside him.

“I don’t know, Pen. Had she herself been the one to confide her situation to me, things would perhaps be different. But she… Well, she did not just conceal that, she outright lied to me and deceived me most cruelly.” He took her hand and looked at her in the eye, with a truly desperate semblance “What should I do?”

How many times she had made up a similar scene in her mind, where he would take her hand into his like this, but in her imaginings he would do so to tell her he loved her and they would rest contentedly in each other’s arms and she even dared some times to include a loving kiss. How foreign and ridiculous all that seemed now. Here he was in the flesh, looking for her counsel on what to do about his wife. She swiftly removed her hand from his and got up to start pacing. She could not bear to look at him like this.

“I know you will not leave her. You couldn’t, you’re not a cruel man. And you love her, Colin, don’t you? Is that not enough?” She knew it wasn’t, one sided love was a prison she was well acquainted with.

“I’m no longer sure that whatever I feel for her will ever be enough. It is clear she has not ever felt even remotely the same as me” She turned to face him again.

“Give her time, and I’m sure she will grow to love you. Time will be your ally, I’m sure of it”

“How can you be so sure?” He asked her with a questioning frown. Her words had been so uncharacteristically confident.

“Because I know you, Colin. And she did say that she would be a good wife to you” She took a deep breath, trying to will tears back into her eyes before they went down her cheeks, but he had already noticed and offered her his handkerchief.

“Please forgive me” However angry he was, he could still not bear to know he had made her cry “I have been so… lost. I have forgotten myself. I seem to have dug a pit hole and the more I try to get out, I just keep making it deeper and now I’m dragging others with me.” He took a deep breath and raised his face to the sky, as if he were actually looking at the only exit from his predicament, but found only torn white clouds on a bright blue sky.

Oh, how she wanted to take his face in her hands and kiss his forehead, to embrace him and offer him comfort. But instead she motioned for him to get up. “Come now, you can’t hide here forever”

“I wish I could” It was peaceful there. His new house was Marina’s and Bridgerton house had been full of questioning and reproach over the elopement, he certainly did not look forward to whatever they had summoned him for this afternoon. Anthony in particular would surely continue to be unbearable and his mother would just be heartbroken and it pained him to be the cause of her mortification.

“You’re braver than that”, Penelope said, leading the way to the garden door.

“You might be the only one to think so, Pen.” and he made his way across the square, suddenly resolute, if only because he didn’t want to disappoint Penelope.

She was left there, looking at him go, wondering how could it be possible to feel so full of love and so empty at the same time.

***

Once Colin entered the Bridgerton drawing room, he was surprised to discover Daphne was there, waiting for him. So it had been her who summoned him, not Anthony. It was a small relief, and the heavens knew how much he needed any and all the relief he could get these days.

As it turned out, a plan had been quickly made by her after surprisingly coming back from her honeymoon to deal with his brother’s ‘situation’, as every Bridgerton had come to call the general unpleasantness the third brother had brought upon them all. The Duchess was to throw a ball and not only would the newly minted Mrs. Bridgerton be in attendance, the Featheringtons would be as well.

It was obvious that the inclusion of the Featheringtons was Daphne’s doing, and it made absolute sense, but their mother was still not willing to give Portia Featherington the time of day, as she was absolutely sure she had to be behind the scheme that lead to the current ‘situation’. Lady Featherington was known to be meddling, gossipy and to be afflicted with a lack taste as well as tact, but Violet knew her to be clever and cunning, however well she might hide it.

It was noted, however, that the Featheringtons were in such a precarious situation because they had taken Marina in. It was not possible they would have done so if they had been aware of her situation beforehand, so the girls reputations had been also compromised by a deception they had no blame for. They were also Marina’s only relatives in town and it would be unseemly to leave them out. It was necessary to lift them all up or she and her brother would not recover their good standing in society by association.

Violet had to recognize that it was rather unfair to punish the girls, especially Penelope, who at least had tried to stop them, however ineffectively. She felt guilty that she might have been too harsh with her already, on her first reaction to the news. So the matter was settled by Her Grace and the Dowager Viscountess as to be the best course of action, artful women of society they both were.

Nevertheless It was all very aggravating to Colin, seen as he was being set aside and treated as if he were a child who didn’t understand the consequences of his mischief, asked to let the adults take care of it all; even if he still had to admit with some fondness that it was impressive to witness his little sister taking charge and stepping into her high society role so effortlessly and so quickly. She had been a duchess but for a month and she seemed to have been born in the role. A diamond indeed.

However, he suspected she was throwing herself at his ‘situation’ in full force as an excuse to avoid some marital issue herself. If everything were alright between them, he gathered, the duke of Hastings wouldn’t have let her depart from his side or would’ve joined her in London, after all they were still in their Honeymoon period. Something was definitely amiss but she insisted everything was alright. It pained him that his closest sister would not trust him, although considering his own standing in their family, perhaps it was wise of her not to seek his help. For all she knew he would only make everything worse.

“Well, I’m so very glad everything has been settled on my behalf!” He spatted from the sofa.

“Colin, please spare me the sarcasm. We’re only trying to help you, can’t you just be grateful?”

He opened his arms in exasperation and quickly crossed them, with a grimace in his face. “Has mother told you of the more recent development?”

She nodded, compassionately “She has”, was it compassionate or pitiful? Did it matter?

“And you still think that a ball will help?”

“Will you try for an annulment?”

He shrugged “I would be forced to divorce, rather than an annulment” He saw some confusion in her faced and clarified “We eloped, you see?” She was a married woman now, after all.

“Oh. That would--” She sat down beside him.

“Not be very good, no. They’re extremely public affairs, not that nobody would notice an annulment. Besides--” He sighed “Am I very stupid for still caring what happens to her, Daph?”

She stroked his arm lovingly “Well, brother, you are simply a very good man, and I believe love makes us all act in stupid ways sometimes. So yes, you’re a bit stupid, but that’s allowed” She smiled softly and then continued “We must take one step a time. The ball I’m sure will help with the first part of it – the elopement that is. We can figure the rest of it as we go”

Chapter 2

[girllookingoutwindow]

Eloise needed to get slapped season 3 because why was she so annoying? The way she caused Pen to have a panic attack due to her forcing her to reveal her secret to Colin AT THEIR ENGAGEMENT PARTY! Why on earth did she think that was a good time and place to tell him? Imagine if Penelope did. Colin would have needed space from her and would have either left the party or looked mad the entire time and would have caused the guests to leave early. And Penelope was pregnant. Eloise didn't know that and neither did Penelope or Colin but still Eloise put the baby to risk. And when Pen was seconds away from fainting due to her panic attack Eloise wasn't concerned for her. She went straight to Colin and almost revealed Pen's secret to him. She didn't care about Penelope or Colin she only cared about saving her own ass because she knew Colin would be livid with her! I hate when people say Eloise cared about Pen becauss no she did not! She didn't even properly apologize to Pen about the insipid wallflower insult which she had repeated from Cressida who had bullied Pen for years and Eloise even befriended Cressida. Eloise Bridgerton is an awful character and I don't even care about her season. She's spoiled, entitled, impulsive, shallow, self-centered, and cruel. How on earth is she the daughter of Edmund and Violet Bridgerton? She is definitely her maternal grandmother's grandchild.

Hi, anon. I think you don't like Eloise? Lmao

I personally have a different view of her. I think she not only loves Pen, she's in love of her.

I agree she was too hard on Pen, and I was annoyed to see her doing some things, but I understand why she did it. I remember saying before part 2, she didn't know too much about love. I still think that way. That doesn't mean she can't feel love, she doesn't know what to do with it.

My honest thoughts are: she always loved Pen, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her, she didn't wanted to be married because she wanted to be with her. She always was jealous of Colin. She was always trying to push him away. The letters was the only one place she couldn't separate them. And then, she was angry with Pen, so that gave to Colin a chance, and he took it. Eloise wasn't expecting that. She expected to forgive Pen with time and things will be the same. But Pen marrying Colin was the end of all that. She was heartbroken and she felt completely alone. She wanted so much Pen saying the truth to Colin, because she thought Colin was going to react the same way she did, because when she knew the true her heart wss broken, really broken. She didn't want him going for the same, but the most thing she didn't want it was Pen marrying him. She wasn't trying to stop the marriage, she didn't wanted the two marrying without knowing the truth because that truth destroyed her life. But he didn't react like she expected. He still wanted to marry Pen.

When Pen was going to faint in 3x05 I don't think she notice what was going on. She didn't realize before Colin asking for help because she was concerned about what she wanted to tell him. To me , she wasn't never going to tell me him anything. She was just lost in all her feelings. She was angry with Pen because she wasn't allowing herself to feel the real feeling: she was sad. She was having the process of a duel. She was losing the life she wanted with the person she wanted most. She loved Pen so much she never thought she could love someone else, she didn't want to love someone else. The insipid wallflower was just a hurt people hurt people. Something you said when you're angry, not different to the Colin's entrapment shit. They didn't believe it, they were just hurt and they wanted to hurt her.

I don't agry with many things Eloise did, specially the way she did it. But I don't think she was trying to be a bitch. She was acting like the jealous ex. She didn't know how to love someone else, how to be happy for Pen and his brother when he stole her life from her. Her friendship with Pen was never going to be the same. Pen doesn't need her anymore, and she's not her priority. Colin is too dependent. She was going to be alone no matter what. She goes away even, because she knows that the life she wanted doesn't exist anymore.

[pensbridge]

I love talk about any couples' love languages. It reveals so much to a character's core, provides background, and tells us about who they are!

We all know Colin's love language is physical touch; I suspect he will greatly receive love by way of words of affirmation (we've already seen "you merely believed yourself in love; one should never apologize" exhibit A and 'purpose' scene exhibit B). Imo, Penelope shows her love with words of affirmation/she will receive love through physical touch and acts of service; I feel Penelope would be the type to take into account actions shown to her over what is said, and of what seems too good to be true.

There's just such a long list of what we could see-

Physical Touch: 1001 ways Polin shows their affection inc Carriage scene ✔️confirmed, Mirror scene ✔️confirmed, also the unholy trilogy.. (parts 1, 2, & 3+) of Every Couples' Journey to Acceptance of their Feelings for One Another: The Unplanned Moment that Catches You Off Guard, The "I need this to happen again to confirm what I think is right" Initiation by 1 Participant Re-moment, & The Establishing "this is where we're at--'so in love, but we haven't said it yet'," Mutual Affair that makes a couple look completely at ease and settled even though they've only been together for like 3 weeks atp, (often times shown in a montage).

Also) the most casual touches/shows of affection-Penelope sitting on Colin's lap, hand-holding, hair brushing or brushing hair behind ear, etc. etc.

Words of Affirmation: Colin telling Penelope he loves her and all the things he loves about her in a big speech; Penelope telling Colin she loves him and going into depth of her long-term affection for him; Penelope complimenting Colin's writing, and encouraging him about his writing; Colin complimenting something of Penelope in their lessons; admiration and affection for one another's snark; Colin complimenting Penelope's makeover dress; Colin complimenting Penelope's writing 😯; Penelope accidentally letting it slip something she likes about him while she's trying to remain mad and it being the cutest thing that can't help but make even the antis go "aww"

Acts of Service: cooking for the other; Colin trying to 'protect' Pen with his heroicism x 20; Penelope making a dessert for Colin

Quality Time: Lessons aka Colin finding excuses to stay near her; reading together; writing together; long walk together; calling upon one another at their houses; standing together x50 at balls; dinner?; Lady Danbury-Polin interractions plzzzz; if Colin somehow takes Penelope on a date; drawing room, if Penelope and Colin spend time with Eloise as the third wheel- time with other siblings where we see how they are a third wheel...

Gifts: Necklace?; Colin brought back something else from his trip for Pen (bonus if he gives it to her once they're engaged due to the circumstances); Penelope's potential letters she never sent (is this a gift? I'm counting it.); flowers

[hopelessromamtic26]

My thoughts about Polin🥰😘

I have to say this is my favorite season so far. I know it's only part one, but I loved every minute of it. Yes, it's true they are some plots that we're unnecessary, but still believed it was good. I don't know what everyone is complaining about saying they should cut everything out except polin scenes. It can't be all about polin. I mean, yes, it's their season, but if it was just them and nothing else, that would get boring pretty quick. They needed a little drama and gave other people a chance to shine. They did the same thing with Kathony, but it all worked out in the end. I rather liked how it played out, to be honest. Now, back to polin. I actually liked them showing that Colin had a threesome because it shows the audience that Colin was trying to be like his brothers. He thought that was what he was supposed to be like. But once he kissed Penelope, the boy was gone. Colin, having threesomes was him being a boy. He then finally grew up and saw that Penelope was what he always wanted. Even while he was with Marina. He didn't even kiss her he stopped her, saying he is a gentleman and he can't go further. With Penelope, he didn't even care that he shouldn't be kissing her alone unchaperoned. And him having his way with her in the carriage. Speaking of the carriage scene. I loved every minute of it. You can see the yearning and passion as he kisses her. I truly believed that if the carriage hadn't stopped, he might have made love to her right there. That's how much he's been wanting her for weeks. The only disappointment I felt that they shouldn't have gotten engaged before she told him that she's Lady Wistledown. I think what's going to happen in part 2 is that Eloise is going to give her an ultimatum before the Queen wants to unmasked her. Then I think Eloise comes to her senses and changes her mind because everyone wants to know. I also think Cressida will tell the Queen she is LW and to prove her wrong. Penelope goes to sneak out and tell everyone that she is wrong. And that's when Colin finds out he follows her, thinking she might be going to see Lord Debbling or something. He then reads the letter she puts out in the church. I hope once Colin finds out he doesn't break off the engagement. I know he's going to be pissed very pissed. Maybe more so than in the book. I really don't know how they can get past that. I mean Eloise didn't and she's only the friend. Colin is her fiancé so I don't know what he's going to do. Maybe he might leave the country again for a bit to get his head straight. And then comes back when he has calmed down and starts to miss her. Either way, it's going to be glorious. I will love the angst I am sure we are going to see. So until part 2 comes back, I will continue to watch season 3, part 1, over and over and over until I get sick of it. (Which I wont). I also will be reading a lot of fanfiction so writers dazzle me if you can😉

[quotergirl19]

I truly hope Eloise begins to mature a bit in season 3. I’m desperate for her realize that her sense of entitlement to say and do whatever she wants has consequences and effects other people. Seriously what is her deal? Is she the ultimate middle child? Sometimes I think for a smart person she’s an idiot.

She could’ve gotten Theo fired visiting him constantly while he’s trying to do his job and then costing his boss the money his shop was making from printing Whistledown, in addition to making their print shop the focus of a royal investigation.

Footman John could have been hurt trying to protect her from thugs looking to rob a rich girl who was in a bad part of town. Or gotten him fired for taking her when he should have informed the Viscount who employed him.

The lady’s maid she kept ditching could have been assaulted while wandering shady parts of London alone looking for Eloise. Or gotten fired for losing track of her and been forced to find work with some awful member of society like Nigel Berbrooke who rapes his maids and abandons them to raise his bastards penniless.

Something has to snap this girl out of her self centered me me me mentality. We get it Eloise, everyone is dumb except you.

Please understand that I love Eloise but she’s got blinders on to anyone else’s circumstances, feelings and struggles and has zero respect for anyone but herself which was never more obvious than when she thought she could just get away with lying to the Queen as if that was a flawless plan simply because she decided it was.

It’s getting harder to keep in mind that Eloise is really just young, extremely spoiled and indulged by her family’s wealth and acceptance of her very unladylike (by regency era standards) behavior.

I don’t know what it’s going to take to make her stop spewing her opinions at literally any humans within earshot but I truly hope it starts happening this coming season.

Maybe she’ll out Penelope to Marina in a letter hoping Marina would join her in her outrage only for Marina to say it’s on the past and give Eloise a bit of that signature Marina Thompson tells it like it is, straight talk and tell her to be careful because that information in the hands of the wrong person could ruin her oldest friend’s entire future and even endanger her if someone tried to harm her for something she’s written.

We know Marina doesn’t believe in reliving the past or holding on to it. But she does believe in a harsh reality check. Like when she told Pen that Colin didn’t see her as a marriage prospect and she told Colin he was behaving like a boy and needed to open his eyes and man up. It wasn’t nice to hear but Marina gives zero f*cks about nice when she sees fit to give someone a good dose of truth. Granted, she got slapped for it when she did it to an adult (Portia) but I’d LOVE for someone to verbally check Eloise.

Ok… that’s the conclusion of today’s Eloise rant. I still love her even though I want to pinch her lips shut when she starts yapping and I’m eager for her to mature.