#colin is totally obsessed with pen now just by one kiss

[hopelessromamtic26]

My thoughts about Polin🥰😘

I have to say this is my favorite season so far. I know it's only part one, but I loved every minute of it. Yes, it's true they are some plots that we're unnecessary, but still believed it was good. I don't know what everyone is complaining about saying they should cut everything out except polin scenes. It can't be all about polin. I mean, yes, it's their season, but if it was just them and nothing else, that would get boring pretty quick. They needed a little drama and gave other people a chance to shine. They did the same thing with Kathony, but it all worked out in the end. I rather liked how it played out, to be honest. Now, back to polin. I actually liked them showing that Colin had a threesome because it shows the audience that Colin was trying to be like his brothers. He thought that was what he was supposed to be like. But once he kissed Penelope, the boy was gone. Colin, having threesomes was him being a boy. He then finally grew up and saw that Penelope was what he always wanted. Even while he was with Marina. He didn't even kiss her he stopped her, saying he is a gentleman and he can't go further. With Penelope, he didn't even care that he shouldn't be kissing her alone unchaperoned. And him having his way with her in the carriage. Speaking of the carriage scene. I loved every minute of it. You can see the yearning and passion as he kisses her. I truly believed that if the carriage hadn't stopped, he might have made love to her right there. That's how much he's been wanting her for weeks. The only disappointment I felt that they shouldn't have gotten engaged before she told him that she's Lady Wistledown. I think what's going to happen in part 2 is that Eloise is going to give her an ultimatum before the Queen wants to unmasked her. Then I think Eloise comes to her senses and changes her mind because everyone wants to know. I also think Cressida will tell the Queen she is LW and to prove her wrong. Penelope goes to sneak out and tell everyone that she is wrong. And that's when Colin finds out he follows her, thinking she might be going to see Lord Debbling or something. He then reads the letter she puts out in the church. I hope once Colin finds out he doesn't break off the engagement. I know he's going to be pissed very pissed. Maybe more so than in the book. I really don't know how they can get past that. I mean Eloise didn't and she's only the friend. Colin is her fiancé so I don't know what he's going to do. Maybe he might leave the country again for a bit to get his head straight. And then comes back when he has calmed down and starts to miss her. Either way, it's going to be glorious. I will love the angst I am sure we are going to see. So until part 2 comes back, I will continue to watch season 3, part 1, over and over and over until I get sick of it. (Which I wont). I also will be reading a lot of fanfiction so writers dazzle me if you can😉

[petalsmooth]

I go back and forth on how advanced his reasoning out of his feelings and that point is.

He clearly knows he has feelings. He spent a week dreaming about her and avoiding her while staring out his window in the direction of her house. He's walking alone in the park not flirting with anyone, just obviously trying to think when he sees her.

It's kind of a big deal to suddenly realize you don't see this person as a best friend, and I think he's still sorting out when those feelings began at this point because no...they didn't just develop in the 2-3 weeks they became re-acquainted, and he has NO clue how to act around her what to say just yet. But he sees her in the park and suddenly on instinct really has to talk with her. She's seen him and he can't just ignore, he doesn't really want to ignore her.

Apologizing for not coming to see her is an interesting way to start the conversation because he never came to her door before. He had her come to him or they met elsewhere. Coming to see her implies a courtship ritual and I think gives a glimpse into his thinking she'd be expecting that and even...has a right to expect it? Even though when they left off with the kiss she had told him no strings attached really. She kind of douses that idea by saying it's best he did not visit her and he's taken aback by it. Thinking may have been, does she not want me to call on her? I totally do think he's trying to read her, looking for a sign of mutual interest.

He does look sort of relieved she doesn't wish the lesson to continue but he wishes to know why. He's definitely disappointed when says not to worry she will ever request a kiss again and he so does NOT want her apologizing for that kiss because he doesn't regret it and he doesn't want her to regret it. He pushes her for the reasoning she doesn't want the lessons....I think because the whole purpose was to help her find a suitor. If no lessons, does that mean she's not pursuing the idea of courting someone else anymore following their kiss? Perhaps because she shares his feelings? SO yeah....I think deep down he wanted to hear her make some admission about the kiss affecting her, give him some sign to work with that it's not one sided on his part.

Then she says wants them to keep their distance, talks about still pursuing marriage on her own and says if she succeeds will be due to him and you can visibly see his body deflate. Particularly about her requesting he not be near her for now. Even before he knew of his feelings that is NOT something he could handle, it bothered him immensely she didn't write to him. Now that he is aware of his feelings...all this does really is increase his obsession with her. Because after this is keeping an eye on her wherever she is and can't concentrate on anything else. When Eloise talks with him he only pays attention when he thinks maybe Pen said something about him and her feelings that can give him insight into what she is thinking, loses interest when Eloise said she just apologized to Pen.

Despite the only direct verbal interaction between them after the park being briefly at dessert table until the ball end of ep 3... we discover through his conversation with Violet that he's spent that time apart not only having resolved how he feels about her but has been contemplating how to ascertain how she feels. He's already thinking marriage here. He brought up the subject of Francesca and Marriage, his parents marriage. Colin already knows what he wants by episode 3.

Then he gets scared and freezes unable to say how he feels, watches as Pen moves on to a suitor and thinks 1) he lost his chance to say anything and 2) she must not feel the same because she's smiling and laughing with this guy. So he's lost his best friend and the girl he's in love with (in his view) and won't even attempt to ask if she feels the same because he's decided the feelings are one way.

Locks himself in his room after that, shuts his mother's inquiries out, and then desperately tries a brothel and drinking with the toxic lord squad to attempt to move on. Except Colin is unable to do anything with those girls because as we already know from his journal he finds himself sort of detached and lonely in those encounters and this evidently increased tenfold after feeling the exact opposite in a kiss with Pen. I think it's telling after both women kiss him he just deflates. Can't escape from your heartache/loneliness into sex if the act makes you even lonelier which this would having the contrast of Pen's kiss. He says as much with those men and they just laugh.

By the time Violet speaks with him again Colin has decided his refuge is sleep not women or alcohol or his "friends" because there he can be with Penelope in his dreams.

Until Violet shocks his system with news he's been dreading, that she would be engaged. At this point he sits in thought in his study and finally comes to the conclusion he's out of time (light flickering out) and maybe she won't feel the same way but he can't not try because he's miserable and has nothing left to lose really. He storms past the lords because he has one mission and getting distracted by them with things that do not make him happy isn't it. At this point he's beyond caring about anything but convincing Pen not to marry that guy, including causing a scandal by interrupting the dance. He basically loses his temper when she says she's going to marry him and tells her he is not going to let her make a mistake. Loudly enough for Debling to hear I'm sure. Colin is so trying to make sure Debling does not ask her. Pen may not be aware he has feelings for her, but at this point his suitor now is.

Then after she runs off to chase Debling he then follows HER to see what happened because he is determined to see her not marry the guy. I've seen speculation if she were engaged he would have kept silent which is why he was saying he needed to know but...I don't agree. Because before she tells him he insists he cares about her and again says she can't marry him. He doesn't know if she is engaged at that point so either way he would have still pressing her not to marry.

She then gives him the opening he's been looking for by saying the guy didn't propose because believed Colin had feelings for her and she knows that's ridiculous. Colin doesn't know how she feels but I think from that comment maybe he can infer oh damn...we're back to the will never court her commentary and I think maybe he realizes there (even if not said) that there is a CHANCE maybe she's not opposed to him as a suitor it's just he took himself out of the running with that statement. Friendzoned himself if you will.

So he finally musters up courage and tells her how he feels and makes it clear he does mean it when she expresses doubt. Then she says the friends line and I think at this point he maybe had a small hope the reasons he didn't indicate wanted more is because of his prior comments but then that hope starts to die for like 5 seconds and he fighting back tears only for her to then say she is in the same place and wants more as well.

At point where she starts running her hands through his hair is when I think Colin finally lets himself believe it's not a dream and he's completely lost to everything but her that point forward. Penelope is unaware of just how deep his feelings go however, she was not expecting any of this to happen and I think he's half expecting something to go wrong. Meanwhile Once Colin is stopped from going further in the carriage because they reach his home, he's already 5 steps ahead plotting where they are going to live. Remember he was already thinking marriage by end of ep 3. He's not wasting anytime, he's prepared to take her inside to announce their engagement in the middle of the night. Penelope on the other hand momentarily is thinking where is he going, is he regretting this? Then thinking is he asking to sneak her in to continue what they were doing and worried because his family is inside and will catch them. He completely shocked her with the marriage proposal. Even after their intimacy she hasn't allowed herself to think he was that serious.

So believe I get why she's scared and reluctant to tell Colin about W.D because she does love him, she's used to having low expectations, people walking away from her, neglecting her, bullying her. She's been in love with him since forever and it's (he's) the one good thing in her life aside from W.D. and you also have Eloise reacted. If Eloise walked away from her, why wouldn't Colin? So I get it. She's not Marina. Because she actually loves Colin. But she still should have told him because since she knows him, she has to know how hurt he was about being manipulated/lied to before and how he'd feel with the deception being by Pen this time. But he'll end up forgiving her because he loves her and as she knows him, he knows her. When he has time to get over the shock and think through it, he'd understand even if doesn't agree with the decisions.

This is why I say they are each other's best friends, rather than EL and Pen. Because El and Pen may love each other but the relationship was very one sided. Colin knows Pen better than anyone and she knows him better than anyone. It's because they are best friends that he will work through his sense of betrayal on this and forgive her. Because he knows her and he knows her heart and what motivates her whereas Eloise sits for 6-8 months reflecting on all these made up fantasies about why Pen did what she did rather than making an effort to understand.

Sorry, I love Claudia and Nicola on screen and want them as friends but I don't want them as friends in the manner it was before. I also do NOT consider them soul mates or best friends based on that uneven friendship. That's Colin and Pen. I think a better term for them might be sisters. I think that more accurately reflects their relationship. Which means they are close, they love each other, but don't always understand or like each other but end of the day still family and won't completely sell each other out to outsiders. It's fitting then that they do essentially become sisters with Pen's marriage. lol

[grimdarkandhandsome]

Sarah & Kelly

[Short fiction. Another variant of a popular story.]

Sarah was one of those people who liked to make lists. Back in middle school I defended her when our friends found a 'List of Volcanoes by How Sexy its Name Sounds' in her bag and took turns reading it aloud in silly voices. So it wasn't unusual to see numberings and plans lying around when I was over at her house, and I wasn't expecting anything surprising when I picked up that piece of notebook paper.

'Kelly, have you seen my eyeliner?' said Sarah, coming back into the room.

I shoved the list back under her desk as fast as I could. 'No,' I said, speaking as casually as I could. 'I thought you never wear makeup.'

'I'm trying something new,' said Sarah with a most un-Sarah-like toss of her hair. 'Oh! It's here on my bed. Okay, I'm going to be late if I don't leave now. I'll see you at school, alright?'

'Bye,' I said helplessly, and we went our separate ways.

Maybe I shouldn't have, but once I saw that paper, I couldn't just forget I saw it. It explained the whole story. And the story went a lot deeper than I had ever suspected.

She never told me this in words, but I think this all started with her and Isaiah. They broke up last spring during finals, and unfortunately it was one of those break-ups that became not only ugly, but public. Their fighting got to the point that Isaiah, bitter and 'not even upset about her', told a pretty large proportion of the school the story of how he took her virginity, and how mean and manipulative she was once you get to know her. He graduated and I don't think they've talked since, but the reputation he created for her was not forgotten over the summer. It's true that Sarah has a lot of social intelligence, but making her out to be some evil queen is just cruel.

At first, it made no sense for her to give Darren that letter. They didn't seem to know each other well, and she definitely wasn't over her last boyfriend. If anything I would have expected her to hate him after the incident outside the Mock Trial room, for standing there and laughing with six other band kids while Angus made jokes about her sexual experience. But Darren came to me, conscientious enough to at least ask Sarah's best friend if the offer was real. He told me about Sarah's secret crush on him, her obsession, their meeting in the basement, her promise of more. 'It was only one kiss,' he assured me, as if he were a collector. She came to him transformed: new skirt, new attitude, a new side of her, all just for him. He confessed he was starting to fall for her. I asked if he was sure it was Sarah.

When Angus posted about having an admirer, I knew something was up. Abandoning my the essay I was working on, I quizzed him from my phone late Friday night. He had also received a letter. <yeah she came over. shes kind of obsessed. ive never seen her in a skirt that short before. she can be pretty hot if you get in her good books ;) the other mock trial kids said she kissed edmund from the year above me but she says doesnt feel the same way about him. has she mentioned me at all recently?> I told him, <not once>.

The next day I went over to Sarah's and she was strange and bouncy and I accidentally read the list and she had to go. It was mostly kids her age at the party, so I was sitting this one out. But I wished I could talk to her. I've seen people get bitter and determined like this after a breakup, transforming themselves. I was worried about her.

On Monday Edmund pulled me aside before Calculus to tell me what had happened. Colin, the weird kid, who wasn't even invited, had shown up and referred to Sarah as his girlfriend. To stunned silence, she confirmed everything Colin said, calling him his secret crush, whom she had always been obsessed with and many other terrible things identical in wording to a little pink letter Edmund had received several weeks ago. 'I don't know what to think,' he confessed to me, hands in his pockets. 'I thought she and I had something special. Is this because of that play I wrote about her and Isaiah?'

I'm writing this on Friday and I guess her plan's come to fruition. Darren and the other band kids pointedly don't talk about it, spending lunches in the library doing homework. Angus asked her out in desperation but she said no, and now he sits in the back row with his hood up. Edmund's been writing a lot of gloomy poetry. Colin rereads Sarah's love letter whenever he thinks no-one is looking. Half the boys in our school, in fact, are in their own little worlds of mourning, and I'm the only one who saw the full scope of her plan, in that fateful pink pen on lined paper.

'3 for the upperclassmen

7 for the band geeks

9 for the mock trial team

One to show them all.'

Twenty hearts in total, each deceived and then brutally shattered. Everyone who had ever called her a slut or participated in the jokes Isaiah had cursed her with. Colin, whether he was among those who mocked her or just a target of convenience, was the keystone of her revenge, the demonstration of her hidden sarcasm, of how cheap her kisses were.

I'm a little shocked by the grandeur of Sarah's project, I have to admit. But she's still my best friend. She eats lunch down in the east quad now, not talking to anybody. When I found her, she told me to leave her alone. She said she needed some time to think. You could practically see the dark clouds over her head. I think she knew I understood her, though, because I could feel her eye on me as I walked away.

I miss her.