#you idiots are so set in your tribalism that you can’t see you’re doing the exact same thing as the hamas apologists

[yorshie]

Tattoo Worship

Bayverse turtles x reader NSFW head canons concerning the tattoos I added to them.

Set in 2023 for turtles are 24-25

Leo

Sometimes when it’s just the two of you existing, little moments in between commitments and obligations, you will idly throw out poetry about Leo’s ink. Not anything big, not even anything considered good by most standards, but when you compare the flow of water and dancing petals laid out over his scales to the constant ebb and flow of your love for him, he’ll never fail to get this bashful, boyish smile on his face. The turtle with the biggest way with words will fall silent and pliant in your tiny hands.

The true beauty of his tattoo however, comes out during training. The fluid lines accentuate how his body moves, how each group of muscles work in tandem. He’d be a lying little shit if he said it didn’t give him an ego boost to catch you watching him while he’s working on his katas, eyes glued to the flexing lines before following their flow to his arm or further down his leg.

When it’s just the two of you he’ll let you touch it, let you skate your fingertips along the different colors. He might get a bit ticklish around the flower over the finer scales where his plastron meets his inner hip, but he’ll allow a few ticklish touches in order to feel the bliss of your touch on him. If you want to explore the larger flowers underneath his pant line however, he might get a little handsy in return.

Blue likes it when you use your tongue to trace his tattoo. The swirling lines of water in between flowers acts like a maze or a raceway, except the last thing he wants you to do is race to the finish line. If you want to start over he’s not likely to offer any sort of resistance unless you’re purposefully teasing him.

When your hands grab at his hips and ass he likes to imagine the pretty picture of your nails digging into the flowers along his left side, holding him closer. It reminds him to be careful, to not accidentally pinch your fingers underneath the ridge of his shell. He’d rather you grab his ass than his carapace but he knows it’s better leverage for you both to clutch onto the latter

He doesn’t really care if you want to call his tattoo pretty, so long as you look like you mean it. After years of different villains and Jones referring to him as the ‘pretty boy turtle’ he’s learned not to roll his eyes too much. When you gesture at, or press a hand to his hip, and tell him that you think his tattoo is pretty you’ll get either a crooked little grin if the two of you are going steady or a tilted head and a considering look if he’s not too sure you’re being genuine.

Donnie

You don’t often get to see Donnie’s tattoos. In fact, when you first meet him, he wouldn’t be surprised at all if you thought the tribal turtle on his shoulder was the only one he had. It’s not until you’re dating that you’ll see this dorkasauros rex in a relaxed enough environment to notice the blocky lines of his tattoo peeking out from a low rise pair of lounge pants. It’s not that he’s self conscious about them, he’s just usually is wearing his cargo pants or an added apron when he’s out in the garage and his tattoos are low enough on his hips and thighs to not be noticed.

However, the first time your fingers press into the lines his mind might short circuit just a little bit. For some reason Donnie’s nerves are just a little more sensitive, or maybe it’s just he’s a little bit of a baby when it comes to needles, but his tattoo hurt for a while after he finally got Raph to agree to help him ink himself. Now, though, the feeling of your fingertips, your palm, feels good in a way his mind can’t quite comprehend although he tries to. He’ll clutch your hands and hold them still against his hips, mind trying to catalog the sensation while he’s grinning like an idiot. It might take several tries of calling his name and drumming your trapped fingers before he lets you go.

Donnie likes it when you touch his tattoo, in any way he can get, though hard scratches make him wince. Soft touches and tracing the lines and the frill of the flowers on his quads will get you quivering muscles and shaky words if he’s trying to explain something to you while you’re doing it. Absolutely will go wild if you press kisses to his flowers.

Loves to look down while he’s entangled with you to see the harsher colors of his scales and ink peeking through the spaces where your limbs twine with his. If you’re between his legs and you grab onto his tattoo he might just squeak and pull his head and hunch his shoulders into his shell, but only because he’s blushing and he doesn’t want this to end too soon

If you call him or his tattoo pretty this tall turtle will blush and probably fumble whatever is in his hands. Especially if it’s your first time seeing his full tattoo, he might just trip and fall over while trying to untangle his feet. If you keep telling him though, he will eventually believe you, he just won’t understand how you think that’s possible.

Raph

Big Red’s tattoos are hard to miss, even if he’s dressed for patrol. His full sleeves spill out onto his traps and over his collar bones, coiling around his plastron like they’d continue if his scales existed underneath the hard keratin. He’s intimidating, and he knows the tattoos only add to it. He’s not afraid of using it to his advantage and has had more than one person admire them over the years of working with the police force.

It might take you a few hours to map out the expanse of his tattoos with kisses or even with your hands, there’s a lot of intricate details and hidden meanings in the symbols he chose, but if you ask nicely enough he’ll tell you what each one means, especially if he’s sweet on you and you’re stroking softly over the lines along his muscles. When you find the spots that have scars over the lines, he’ll switch to giving you vague answers on how he got them, not wanting to worry you over something that you can’t change. His tattoos are a sense of pride for him, a part of his story, a sign that he’s able to weather pain and tolerate hours underneath a needle.

If you catch him when he’s just done from a work out though, tired and achy but still high off the hit of adrenaline, his muscles will twitch underneath your touch, lines dancing as his nerves react to the stimuli. It’s these moments where running a tongue across his biceps will get a hiss and a look of heat, a quick warning of ‘you better be sure, baby’ before he takes you up on your silent offer and kisses you dizzy.

Raph loves it when you sink your nails into his arms, likes it when you miss his carapace and claw over his shoulders. He knows your little human hands can’t hurt his ink, and even if you did manage to leave a mark he’d wear it with pride, the little filthy gremlin that he is. Expect lots of churring if you scratch over his arms and maybe even a rumbled insistences of “harder, baby, that spot itches bad”

He likes to watch you in secret when you start ogling him. He might give himself away though by smirking when he sees your eyes widen as you map out the width of him or if your gaze trails along his tattoos. If you’re going steady he’s eventually going to call you out for it, go looking for some sugar to make up for ‘undressin’ me with your eyes’ as he usually puts it

If you call his tattoos pretty he might take offense if the two of you haven’t known each other long. If you’re together however, you’ll get either a) a bashful turtle rubbing the back of his neck and blushing or b) mr. bedroom eyes determined to show you how his tattoos are actually not ‘pretty’ thank you very much they are ‘sexy’ and he’s willing to spend any amount of time needed to convince you of the matter. You will never be able to tell which one you’ll get until you give the compliment.

Mikey

Mikey keeps his sleeve covered during patrols but that’s mostly because it’s so bright and colorful even he admits it could potentially give away their position. At home in the lair though, he usually takes his compression sleeves off, so it’s not unusual to see his tattoo early into meeting him. If you ask him about it however, he’ll simply point at a marigold and tell you he likes flowers, smiling and acting like he doesn’t understand that you mean the snarling dragon flashing through the orange flowers. He’s not above showing off and popping his biceps just to watch your face when the flowers double in size however.

If he’s sweet on you though, and you take the time to really get to know him, he’ll let you trace the petals and the scales across his arm, and maybe he’ll tell you why he was the first of his brothers’ to dabble in colorful ink and symbolism. He likes it when you touch him softly, when you hang onto him or press your cheek against the curve of his shoulder. If you press a kiss to the dragon’s snout he might tap his own lips and ask where his kiss is.

Mikey likes seeing his limbs tangled up with yours, likes seeing the contrast of your skin against his, whether it’s his green scales or his colorful tattoo. If you grab at his shoulders or biceps to hold steady it will drive him wild, but he’ll also give you a shit eating grin because he knows you can’t keep your hands off him but also ‘really, sunshine, if you want a piece of the Mikester all you gotta do is ask, baby, there’s no need to be shy-‘ cue whatever brother is nearest him to try slapping him upside the head

The one time he will let you explore to your heart’s content however, is in bed or the shower. This turtle is the one with the most, shall we say, frivolous bedtime routine, and if he can convince you to scrub his scales or rub lotion onto his arms he’s all game. He’s not picky on floral smells, so if you want to try out some girlie products on him he’s game. When he’s loose and liquid from the lovin and pampering, that’s your chance to take your time and learn all the little muscles along Mikey’s tat and discover just how ticklish he is when you touch the shaded dots that curl up underneath his arm.

If you call Angelo’s tattoo pretty, and take the time to make sure he knows you mean it, get ready to be swept up in a full bodied hug and maybe even swung in a circle. He’ll ask if you’ve ever considered getting one of your own, hey maybe the two of you can match, maybe you’ll even let him design it for you-

[gatheringbones]

[“The normal women had been expecting, indeed dreading, that the issue women, once started, would take the exposure opportunity to harp on in a broad, encyclopaedic fashion about injustice towards and trespasses against women, not just in the present day but all through the ages, using terminology such as ‘terminology’, ‘case studies show’, ‘incorporates the systemic, transhistoric, institutionalised and legislated antipathy of’ and so on that completely these days these women appeared to be steeped in. There would be the injustices too, thought the traditional women, those big ones, the famous ones, the international ones – witch-burnings, footbindings, suttee, honour killings, female circumcision, rape, child marriages, retributions by stoning, female infanticide, gynaecological practices, maternal mortality, domestic servitude, treatment as chattels, as breeding stock, as possessions, girls going missing, girls being sold and all those other worldwide cultural, tribal and religious socialisations and scandalisations, also the warnings given against things throughout patriarchal history that were seen as uncommon for a woman to do or think or say. But no. Not that, which in the middle of a local curfew-break would have been bad enough. Instead these local issue women spoke of homespun, personal, ordinary things, such as walking down the street and getting hit by a guy, any guy, just as you’re walking by, just for nothing, just because he was in a bad mood and felt like hitting you or because some soldier from ‘over the water’ had given him a hard time so now it was your turn to have the hard time so he hits you. Or having your bum felt as you’re walking along. Or having loud male comment passed upon your physical characteristics as you’re passing. Or getting molested in the snow under the guise of some nice friendly snowfight. Or getting hang-ups in the summer about the summer because if you didn’t wear much clothes because it was warm, if you wore a little dress, that would bring upon you all that general summertime street harassment. Then there was menstruation and how it was seen as an affront to being a person. And pregnancy too, how that couldn’t be helped but all the same, an affront to being a person. Then they spoke about ordinary physical violence as if it wasn’t just normal violence, also speaking of how getting your blouse ripped off in a physical fight, or your brassiere ripped off in a physical fight, or getting felt up in a fight wasn’t violence that was physical so much as it was sexual even if, they said, you were supposed to pretend the bra and the breast had been incidental to the physical violence and not the disguised point of the physical violence, making it sexual violence all along.

‘Those sorts of things,’ said the traditional women. ‘Spoken too,’ they said, ‘in all that language of terminology, and only to be laughed at, for everyone was laughing at them – the cameras, the reporters, even the curfew-makers – and no wonder, with all this linen they insist in taking out in public all the time.’ What mostly got to the traditional women, however, was that anybody in the world watching would think that they, the sensible traditional women, were also these issue women. So frostiness set in, owing to this hijacking by the issue women of the curfew, and that was the state of affairs when the issue women said ‘Over our dead bodies’ to the renouncers.

The traditional women, although irritated as one might be by idiots wanting to help wash-up but then clumsily breaking all the dishes, nevertheless felt they couldn’t just let the renouncers do their usual deadly thing. Which was why they went to see them, to see the renouncers. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ they said. ‘You can’t kill them. They’re simpletons. Intellectual simpletons. Academe! That’s all they’re fit for.’ They added that to do away with the issue women, no matter how annoying they were, would be tantamount to unjust, inconsiderate and merciless behaviour towards the more fragile of our district; that by doing so, the renouncers would create one of those landmark incidents such as would bring regretful consequences for their reputation in history books later on.”]

Anna Burns, Milkman

[arcticdementor]

I was a pre-teen in the seventies, which means that long before I hit the jaded age of fourteen when older men tried to use it to get me to peel off clothes, I was used to hearing “we’re all naked under clothes.” (Later on I greatly regretted most of these idiots hadn’t read Heinlein so I couldn’t say “nul program.” So instead I had to say things like “We’re also all clean under our dirt, so I see you don’t intend to shower ever again.”)

There were other just as crazy aphorisms that passed for “deep thought.” I’m honestly not sure what caused this, whether it was more people than ever being pushed to higher ed they weren’t really qualified for, but that made them want to sound “intellectual” or that the Soviets were diligently working with their wrenches to take apart the ability to think of the new generation. Or perhaps for whatever reason mass media and TV just encouraged a ridiculous wave of aphorisms that not only didn’t mean much but that aimed to destroy rather than build habits, patterns and ways of life that led to success.

You know, crazy stuff like “What difference does a piece of paper make to whether we’re married?” (Other than meeting potential obligations to potential children, and getting the buy in of both sets of inlaws and recognition of society that protects well…. mostly the woman who puts more biological investment in the relationship, none, really.) And “If it feels good do it!” and– Well, a lot of you are old enough to have heard all this cr*p growing up. And the younger ones, trust me, the current spate of crazy is well anchored in a barrage of crazy — to my certain knowledge — from the sixties and seventies.

I fell for some of them too. The unflappable Miss Almeida was not unflappable when this stuff came at her from someone she respected. So for a long time I bought my brother’s “romance is the opium of womanhood” long before I realized where the origin of that nugget came from, or that my brother — never having been a woman — was in fact assuming that without having romantic notions to encourage her to care about attachment and feelings, young women would be as “free” and sexually available as men wish they’d be. Of course now we know that’s the rankest and most absolute bull excreta, and that in fact women have — surprise! It’s not like we evolved to be the caretakers of children or anything — a different set of sex related hormones that encourage attachment to sexual partners and incidentally children.

But the excreta of “pseudo-profound-social statements is now everywhere, and yesterday I was hit in close proximity by two bits of crazy. And suddenly it hit me “And what is the alternative, precisely?”

…

Look, all of human civilization has been an attempt to suppress inter-personal violence, or at least keep it within bounds that don’t prevent us from assembling in numbers larger than clan or tribe. Almost any reading of the records of older cities will quickly come to the conclusion that people used to be a lot more interpersonally violent. They just were. Even in early modern England, well…. Let’s say men died young because they fought over the most stupid things.

And that was already a state-nation, where people identified with the nation was though it were a race, and had not only forgotten their early tribal affiliations but their micro-kingdoms (the regional association, which given travel in that time probably had a lot of genetic backing) before it was unified into “England.” So the fights were rarely tribal or regional (though there were family feuds.)

…

But we are built on a template of great apes, and the remains we find of hominins and other man-tribes show that their lifestyle was in fact close to that of great apes everywhere. And do you know what you call a baby chimp found by a genetically unrelated band? Snack.

So, sure, let’s assume that education — public or not — is a way for a culturally dominant “elite” to suppress generalized violence.

What is the alternative?

The left is assuming violence is justified and on their side, because of course their idea of social dominance, and the model they implement is to take control and rob everyone. But throughout history they are an exception, in fact. Even the “bad old kings” were trying to do the best they could for their tribe or micro nation. They often screwed up and followed their own desires, because human, but the idea of noblesse oblige is very very old in humanity. And most people at least try (Unless they’re all ‘et up with Marxism and self-righteousness, because bullsh*t means never having to say you’re sorry.)

Instead let’s look at it as meaning what it says “education” (by which we can mean everything we do to tame the toddler-beast and up through specific knowledge of how to get ahead in life) is a way to suppress inter-personal violence.

Well, yes. And we’re all naked under our clothes. And wearing clothes isn’t natural, maaaaan.

But what is the alternative? The civilizational process of mankind, from band to clan, from clan to city, from city to nation, accomplishing things that could only be accomplished by many people cooperating without violence is a process of suppressing unnecessary violence and waste of human life.

…

In the same way, later, while doing my instapundit link rounds, I saw an article about how 2 + 2 is colonial thinking imposed on non-white populations, and are alien and evil, compared to their native ways of knowing.

After I got my eyes from under the sofa, I took a deep breath and asked “What’s the alternative?”

Because, you know, I’ve heard this before, but I never thought about precisely what their nonsense would entail.

Sure, we’re giving up the internal combustion engine, bridges, anything better built than a hut made of rough stones, and probably — let’s be honest — crops. The horrendous thing is that this might be completely acceptable to them, since they don’t realize what supports their ability to live in relative comfort.

Let’s instead explore what this means at the interpersonal level and how much eschewing simple math would make living with other human beings impossible.

…

Humans have partly got this far, and now enjoy untold prosperity which had practically eliminated famine (until of course the covidiocy starved the third world) because “colonial thinking” defeated that of isolated tribes.

Or perhaps more cogently: those who won a clash between two populations generally (there are exceptions, like Greece and Rome and to an extent India and Great Britain, and perhaps to an extent America and Japan) imposed their mode of life on the defeated. Though they might culturally appropriate that which was worthy in the culture of the defeated.

…

Is 2 +2 a colonial way of thinking? Oh, probably. But that was probably way back when the colonization of the homo sap by the Neanderthal (culturally, that is. Well, that seems to have been the direction) occurred, because we have trade going that far back, and trade can’t survive without counting.

In fact, even though the concept of zero is also fairly sophisticated, we’ve come across very few tribes that don’t have a concept of counting, or a concept of numbers over 5, and those are usually highly isolated and tiny tribes. Because arithmetic is a darn useful skill, as is everything we’ve built on it from accounting to architecture.

And what’s the alternative? People walking around “Sensing” the numbers? Be real. That’s not native to anyone but the crazier tribes of Homos New Agicus, a tribe who uses cannabis in such vast quantities they’re sure to become extinct.

The alternative is never “death or cake.”

When idiots run around with blunt aphorisms, demanding you dismantle civilization, ask them what their alternative is. And stop them when they start talking of rainbows and unicorn farts, and ask them the exchange rate of the unicorn fart to the rainbow. Because if it’s a civilization, we have to know.

You want to eschew controls over violence? Basic arithmetic? Clothes?

Well, sure. I believe you’re ultimately free to do what you want, as long as you pay the price.

You’re free to take all your clothes off, and take off to the forest with your buddies, where you can live as though 2 plus 2 equals 20, or potato, or chicken.

We don’t care. Heck, you probably won’t live long, but if you do, you’ll be a fascinating ethnology-experiment.

What you won’t be and can’t be is able to shame us out of living our lives as civilized human beings, who have enough to eat and can trade a known quantity for a known quantity. Because you know, there really is no alternative. Not an alternative that allows humanity to survive.

And if you hate humanity enough you don’t want us to survive, I have an easy solution: You go first. After which the existence or non-existence of humanity stops being your problem.

[bard-of-worlds]

Chapter 12

Sorry i’ve been gone guys, this chapter just killed me and then i fell into another fandom and then my novel......... Sorry again i will try and have the next chapter out this month.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mari got expelled without a hearing!? That ain’t right dude!” Jagged growled and Penny nodded as Fang growled from where he sat at Jagged’s feet.  

Penny had made it back to the hotel and up to their suite and after a few moments had told Jagged everything that Sabine had told her.  

 “They're dealing with it Jagged, but Sabine and this Nora said something about homeschooling Marinette and another one, probably more if this is as bad as Sabine said it was then it might cause the school to close!” Penny said and Jagged whistled and shook his head as dark memories went through him.  

 “Heavy.” Jagged said and Penny nodded.  I remember how my school treated me because of what I wanted to do, how they tried to use peer pressure to try and change my mind. Never worked but I did learn who I could trust there, hard lesson but one I needed.  Jagged thought as he looked at Penny.

 “But there’s another problem Jagged. According to Sabine she heard from Marinette that this liar has been telling stories about knowing celebrities.” Penny said and Jagged scoffed and looked at his partner.

 “Why would that matter more than what she did to Mari?” Jagged asked as he picked up a glass of water.

 “She’s only sixteen. And she said you wrote a song about her because she saved your cat from being run over by an airplane when she was fourteen.” Penny said bluntly as Jagged started to drink from his cup. Jagged drank for a few seconds before his eyes went wide and he spat the water out and Fang started to growl.

 “Good Rock and Roll! I could be accused of courting a minor! 

Can we sue her for anything Penn?” Jagged asked and Penny grinned at him.

 “No, it was never put on the web by any of the kids she told it to, the Ladyblogger even edited the interview she had of the liar to leave it out. But we can speak as a character witness that it never happened and help them put this little bitch away!” Penny said and Jagged laughed and smirked.

 “I can’t wait until that happens love, but I’m worried about little Mari at that place!” Jagged said and Penny grinned.

 “Sabine said they’re considering home school because of what happened to Mari, this might be good for them all.” Penny said and Jagged nodded.  

 “Good, so the last of the spots for the next tour are ready then?” Jagged asked and Penny nodded.  

 “I’m just waiting on replies for the last three venues and Sabine told me that Marinette will be done with the last of the costumes for the shows by tomorrow night if nothing happens but with this city…… And she said that they might home school Marinette, but about the last show before we leave...... it will be good to get away from this place, and to release our emotions healthily.” Penny said and Jagged nodded as Fang ragged his tail.

 “Might be for the best if that happened to her……. Still, this might be good, might let the little lady handle her education and her design career better.” Jagged said and looked into his past as he remembered how he got into show business and the first few gigs he had, and that was all after he had become homeschooled and everything.  

 “Maybe, but this is going to be a very big mess if half of what Sabine tells me about the school is true.” Penny said and then Jagged looked at her for a minute.  

 “Isn’t that place where the guy who was Akumatized into The Owl is the principal?” Jagged asked and Penny nodded and Fang started to growl. “Yeah Fangster I don’t like him either.”

 Penny looked at Jagged as he sat and stewed and she knew from comments he had made over the years that he had a few scars from his own school years. And she had to admit that she hadn’t had a good time in that school with that racist bastard as a principal. But still, this wasn’t about them, it was about Marinette.

 “So besides we have nothing we can sue her for? Please tell me we do.” Jagged begged and Penny looked away and went over everything she knew about the incident and then frowned.

 “No, and since it was in school when she said that, and because the Ladyblogger………. Wait a moment. We might have something, I’ll need to call Sabine and have Marinette ask her friend if she still has the original interview that the Liar gave her……. Then maybe just maybe.” Penny said and Jagged grinned and Fang wagged his tail. Penny looked between them and tried to calm them down. “I said maybe, maybe. I’ll need to talk to our lawyer and it’s their anniversary tonight so I’ll call tomorrow but I might not be able to get in touch before noon.”

 “Oh yeah, it’s that time of year insist it? Remember when we walked in on them?” Jagged said and chuckled as Penny went red as she did remember how they had surprised them and what the two had been doing.

 “I’ll just call and make sure it’s not video. But even if Marinette is doesn’t get us the clothing we order by the weak after next then we still have a month to get everything ready for our departure, and we have a city-wide show before we leave of course that we have the costumes for already.” Penny reminded Jagged and he laughed and looked up at the ceiling before smirking at her.

 “Good, with luck we might just celebrate the show with the closing of a terrible school! I can’t wait until they tell us what’s going on!” 

Jagged said and looked at Penny and smirked at her friend as he celebrated.    Jagged is such a man-child! Still, the fact that he’s bounded with Marinette and her parents as much was good for all of them! Still, he has a lot of baggage that I hope he can put to rest. Still, I hope that Marinette is okay after everything is done, I mean this is terrible, why on earth would that idiot even have done this?  Penny thought as Jagged looked at her and smirked.

 XXXXXXX

 As the kwami ate their little feasts and the teens ate their sandwiches Fu frowned as he stroked his beard. 

 “So you say that you could see Hawkmoth talk to the Akuma?” Fu asked and when Sabrina nodded he put his head down and muttered prays of forgiveness and creativity.  Why didn’t I think of taking out the Dog, if I had even tried to use it then we could have found Hawkmoth by now!  He thought as he tried to figure out anything else he might have missed but he couldn’t see anything

 “You didn’t even think it was possible, did you?” Alya asked dryly and Fu shook his head, completely shocked about what he was told.

 “No I…..I had no idea there was even a small possibility of it Barkk’s powers working like that. I mean nothing in all my training and the grimoire even mentions this was possible.” Fu said and the kwami started to chuckle and laugh a bit in Plagg’s case.

 “My chosen have seen when mages cast curses at our side during battles in days of old, this may be like back then.” Barkk said and Sabrina looked thoughtful and frowned, her mind going strange places as she looked at Barkk who looked back at Sabrina with a grin. “Up for trying again the next time partner?”

 “Yeah, I am! If it’s okay that he stays with me that is.” Sabrina said as she blushed and Fu nodded.

 “I was thinking about having them stay with all of you, with the exception of Wayzz for now.” Fu said and looked around at the teens, Nino nodding in understanding.  

 “That’s the reason you changed the hiding form for your Miraculous Trixx?” Alya asked as she looked at the new Fox Miraculous around her neck, an orange pentagon with a tribal fox face painted on it.

 “Yes, but we have to talk about how you’ll handle the attacks in the future, while I would love to have all of you handle the Akuma your schooling might face troubles with that. 

And how to deal with the new Bee hero.” 

Fu said and Chloe looked at Alya and smirked.  

 “Say, you’re going to be staying at the hotel tonight right? Sleeping in one of the rooms that we set aside for the staff and their families when they can’t make it home right?” Chloe asked and Alya nodded.  

 “Yeah, my little sisters are sleeping over at the Zoo because dad will be there tonight looking over two of the animals, so the kids of the staff are all watching a movie and sleepover tonight.” Alya said and Chloe grinned.

 “Good, then tonight you are going to have supper with me, Sabrina and the Kwami in my condo, after which we’ll have an interview about how I feel about the new hero, who will then crash it and then you as the ‘New Bee’ will take a selfie with me, which I’ll then be able to post about passing on the Miraculous. And to make it better I’ll make it so it’ll auto-post on Monday at lunch, with a link to the exact page of the Ladyblog where you’ll post the interview.” Chloe said and Alya looked at her and smirked back. “But you’ll have to publish the interview on Monday; I’ll hide in my rooms over the weekend, watching some movies that will make me cry and have food brought up so if any of the bellboys who will gossip about it, then if our liar comments about it on Monday I’ll be able to explain that away and hopefully we’ll make that little liar scramble to explain how she evens know I was crying.”

 Alya looked at her and grinned, a crafty light coming from her eyes. “An interview with a hero, and then we might be able to catch Lila in a lie, I like it. No false Fox is gonna pull me around where she wants to anymore!”

 “My thought exactly!” Chloe said and smirked.  And with luck Hawkbutt will try and get me to go over to his side, but if I can learn anything about him…… I need to talk to Pollen about this, and Marinette.  Chloe thought and then Alya’s phone beeped.  

 Alya looked down at it and paled.  OH boy! Nora went and talked to somebody and heard about the Mass attack, at least she understands to talk to me about it first!  She thought as she tried to keep her smile up but she cringed, causing the others to look at her

 “What is it, Alya? What happened?” Marinette demanded and Alya sighed.

 “Yeah, is it bad, another attack……no all our phones would have gone off if that was the case.” Max said and Alya looked away.

 “I didn’t tell my parents and Nora about the attack in the locker room. Nora just texted me…… she says she’ll let me explain before she passes on what happens to our parents if I don’t convince her it’s the best to stay silent.” Alya said and Chloe giggled a little causing Alya to glare at her. 

“What?”

 “Sorry, sorry. I just remembered your sister is a kickboxer and then I thought about how we could throw her at Lila and then!” Chloe said as she started to laugh and the others started to chuckle, even Fu grinning a little.

 “Perhaps you should try and explain to us, gather your thought for your talk with your sister?” Fu suggested and Alya nodded and Trixx grinned as he finished his sandwich.

 “Okay, to start with I already told the family all about the Lila situation, just want to get that out there. I never mentioned the attack because, well I thought mom and dad might pull me from the school, but then I was talking about going homeschool like Marinette and Adrien and well…… I guess I didn’t want to worry them with everything that’s happening now.” Alya said and Nino nodded.

 “Yeah I get that. I talked to my Ma about doing that too, I mean with what happened it really doesn’t paint a good picture about the school. And that’s not even talking about what you told us Adrien.” Nino said and Alya winced. “You didn’t tell them about that either?”

 “I just told Nora, and we decided not to spring it on them……Dad’s busy at the Zoo, the Panther is pregnant and the elephant is sick and mom has that big conference to cook for at the hotel tomorrow……..” Alya said and Chloe nodded.

 “Makes sense, I mean mom fired the last head cook the last time this group came through and he was a minute off because of some problems with his kid.” Chloe said and Adrien winced, remembering how that had gone down.

 “I remember how you’re mom went off before she left…….. didn’t that guy only not make it there by a minute because of an accident outside the hotel he was almost in and had to talk to the police?” Adrien asked and Chloe nodded.

 “Yeah but he was late and almost in it because his kid was attacked at school and dad rehired him after she left, gave him a raise and everything.” Chloe said with a shudder. “Of course he did quiet about two months later and moved to London a year later, but well that’s how far he ran from her.”

 “And your father did nothing to stop this, nothing at all?” Fu asked and with how Sabrina looked away he knew that whatever Chloe said he would see just how far from being a good person the mayor was.

 “With him, it’s more the fact that if he can ignore it then he’s happy to do so, most of the time he throws money at me to keep me quiet.” Chloe said with a bitter edge to her voice and scoffed. “And I’m fifty percent sure that their marriage was forced by my grandfather on my mother’s side in exchange for backing in dad’s first campaign.” Chloe said bluntly and Fu looked at her in concern as the others absorbed what Chloe had said, a look of shock on Alya’s face and a look of worry on Marinette’s.

 “They might not have……” Wu trailed off at the look Chloe sent him and Adrien nodded with a somber mood.

 “They got married after he won, she only stayed here to give birth to me and went away as soon as she recovered and had a reason to fool the press, do the math.” Chloe said bluntly as Adrien and Sabrina put a hand on her shoulders as the others winced. For Marinette this knowledge made her remember how Chloe had first attacked her when she had complement Chloe’s mother so many years ago, for Max with how much love his mother showed him he couldn’t comprehend how Chloe’s parents could treat her like that and for Alya she remembered a few old classmates whose parents were abusive.

 Wu looked at her in shock and then seeing all the teens nod he face palmed and shook his head. This girl needed someone in her life like Pollen more than I thought, and with her friend and Barrk hunting down Hawkmoth, we might have a better chance of finding him than ever before. I could step forward, but no……..my mistakes won’t taint these young ones. I need to find homes for the others, I need to make sure that they all have someone to look after them, and I know who to give Hawkmoth’s and Mayura’s when they get them back.  He thought as he looked at the teens as they confronted Chloe.  

 “So that’s that. Anyhow I’m sure my dad will want to know where I was, so I’ll tell him I was with Sabrina and we were going to see a move.” Chloe said and Fi laughed lightly.

 “Good, now if you are all done I’ll show you the sewer entrance to this place, this way you can drop down if you need to talk to me and you need more Wayzz help in the future.” Fu said and looked at Sabrina and Max. “And there’s a space for you to make a portal so we can try and see if we can track him down and get her away fast.”

 “We’ll talk about our plans later, okay Sabrina?” Max asked and Sabrina nodded. “Oh, I just remembered, a while back Markov and I made this secure video chat program that uses the background codes of the internet to communicate, I’ll send you all a copy so we can talk easier.”

 “Good. But before you go, young Max would you mind looking at the network here, my manager said it was slowing down………whatever that means. I am of course willing to pay you an honest wage” Fu said and Max nodded.

 XXXXXXXX

 As Nino, Alya, Marinette, Chloe and Sabrina walked out onto the streets of Paris, Chloe looked at Marinette and smirked at her. “So got any plans for next week?”

 “No, not now why?” Marinette asked and Chloe shrugged.  

 “I was hoping that you and your renter would mind if I come over for some help with my geography? I’ll help with English in return.” 

Chloe offered and Marinette smiled.

 “I’m still looking into what program I’ll be doing, but I think we might be able to arrange something.” Marinate said and Chloe laughed a little as Alya looked around and saw a bus stop.  

 “I’m heading off, my sis wants to talk to me about this before her match tonight, and dad’s taking the twins to sleep at the Zoo with the other worker's kids, a movie night so the vets can watch the elephant tonight.” Alya said as she walked off.

 “And I need to pick up a mix board dudetess, talk to ya later and I want a copy of those programs Mari.” Nino said as he left in the opposite direction. A shadow caused them to look up to see Chat Noir fly overhead heading towards the Tower, and Marinette smiled.

 “And I still can’t believe you two didn’t know.” Chloe said and Marinette looked down and Sabrina giggled. “Good luck with those programs Bakery-Grill. Me and Sabrina have a talk to finish along the river.”

 “Why are you going there?” Marinette asked and Sabrina grinned.

 “Because of the Indie Bands who haven’t signed on to brands yet! There’s a stretch that bands love to sing at, and the acoustics make the area perfect for little concerts!” Sabina said and Chloe giggled.

 “It really lets us know what teen clubs to go to in the winter, they always put up who they have playing on social media.” Chloe said and Marinette nodded and walked off, Chloe waving at her. “I’ll talk to you over the weekend Marinette, I want to commotion something for when you have some free time!”

 Marinette looked at Chloe as she and Sabrina walked away, a strange look on her face.  I didn’t even think I would like Chloe enough to be sad that she’s walking away from me. I mean I always thought the girl had issues but that much, it didn't even seem possible. I guess that's the way the world turns sometimes.  She thought as she looked ahead.

 “I told you everything would work out Marinette!” Tikki said from Marinette’s bag. Marinette looked down at her bag and smiled. Tikki had told her when Lila had come back that things would get better and they did, it just took a while. With everything that happened she was sure that sooner or later everything would turn out okay, they knew Lila was a liar but she and Adrien had to talk about their relationship, and how to keep Hawkmoth from figuring out their identities but she was sure that things would be good.

 “Yeah, and it did. 

The team is stronger than ever, we’ve got a lead on tracking down Hawkmoth, and with everything I feel……..hope.” Marinette said and Tikki giggled and Marinette laughed and walked back towards her home, deciding to just move slowly to make sure she could absorb everything that happened to her today.

  XXXX

 Adrien slipped into the back doors to the Dunpain-Cheng and sighed as he closed the door.  That was incredible, Chloe is finally dropping her mask and letting the others in, and that will help her more than anything else! But I can’t believe that she followed them to help keep Lila from finding them, I knew was hiding a lot of stuff but this, I almost didn’t think she’d do that!  he thought as he walked up to the living room, never noticing that Sabine was waiting

 “Oh there you are Adrien.” Sabine’s voice caused him to turn and almost jump out of his skin.

 “Man miss Cheng, you sure walk quietly. I didn’t even notice you.” Adrien said as he held his chest as he felt Plagg giggle.

 “Oh I was just heading back to the bakery after putting some food into the slow cooker. How was your appointment?” Sabine asked and Adrien smiled bitterly.

 “I’ve lost a bit of weight and I’ve gained a bit of muscle, the doctor thinks that I need to eat more and that my dad might have underplayed my needs.” Adrien said and looked ashamed. “Anything for the brand of course.”

 “But you don’t believe that, do you?” Sabine asked supportively and Adrien nodded.

 “Dad is crazy overprotective and he did move away from me emotionally a bit……. But I can’t believe that he would do something that would hurt me.” Adrien said and Sabine smiled at him.  

 “I hope your right, for you at least.” Sabine said and Adrien smiled and moved up towards his guest room to stay out of sight and think. Sabine watched him go and sighed, hatting that his father was putting him in this position, hating that Gabriel used Lila to get her daughter expelled and she hoped that this didn’t break her kids.  After all those kids do for this city, I want to think that Gabriel is just neglectful, I mean my father fell apart when his brother died, mom says it took getting pregnant with my sister for him to snap out of it. And I can understand how hard it if you hide away from the world to feel safe, but he had a family to help him!  She thought as she walked into the bakery.  

 As Tom saw her he smiled. So far the ‘dinner rush’ hadn’t started yet, and lately the rush started in about an hour and was over well before it was time for their own supper but working with his wife always made it easier for work.

 “Hello Love, did our guest make it back in one piece?” Tom asked and Sabine nodded and Tome sighed.

 “So how’s the batch for the dinner rush coming along?” Sabine asked and Tom grinned.  

 “It’s going to be ready on time, but we need to talk about what we’ll do with the leftovers from now on.” Tom said and Sabine looked at him before ahhing as she understood what he meant.  

 “Yes, I know what you mean. Maybe we might have to send Marinette to the shelters or ask them to come by more often than the weekend.” Sabine said and Tom nodded.  

 When Marinette had started at the school she had the idea to bring the leftovers for free advertising by giving them to the school for the students and faculty to have. It had worked but with the school probably closing down they needed a new way to get rid of the leftovers and the second way that they

 “It was a good deal, we give some of our old bread to the school for their meals and we get free advertisement, but I guess the Owl doesn’t care about that!” Tom said with a scowl and Sabine glared at the school and Tom felt his hands clench as he remembered everything the principal didn’t do for their daughter and what he did. 

“In the last few days, I’ve wanted to put my hand around that man’s throat and so help me!”

 “Calm down dear, I know how you feel but we need to help him deal with it, we just have to help them with all the burdens their under. And with Marinette, we can’t let that bastard win, either of them!” Sabine said sharply and Tom sighed and tried to center himself as his mother taught him long ago. He nodded and looked at the store as the doors opened and slipped back into the kitchen as Sabine walked towards the counter and smiled at the customer as he came towards her.

 XXXX

 Alya looked around the park and tried and failed to get herself under control and keep calm, Trixx was riding in her pocket and she felt the warmth from her and smiled, part of her being jealous that she had Tikki helping for so long, wondering how much the little Kwami had helped her friend by just being there.  

 “Don’t worry Alya, no matter what happens your sister will help you, just be calm and explain your reasoning.” Trixx said and Alya smiled and rubbed Trix’s head and sighed.

 “Yeah, sis is great. A little overprotective but I can’t deny that she’s helped me a lot over the years.” Alya said softly and Trixx laughed and looked up at her.  

 “Then just be calm and explain why you didn’t say anything calmly, if she’s like your saying then all you need to do.” Trixx said and smiled up at Alya.  My kit is gonna handle this fine, 

 “I guess yeah, I can do this.” Alya said and looked around for Nora before a million problems began moving through her mind as she started to spiral like Marinette.  Oh this is terrible, I mean I…….this is going to be bad, sis is going to tell the rents, they’re going to come back and mom will be fired, dad will be discredit when the panther dies and he could have saved it, he’ll lose his job and we’ll be homeless in a week!  She thought as she walked through the park until she found her sister.

 “Hey sis, there you are!” Nora called out and Alya looked up and saw Nora.

 “Please don’t tell them sis, please.” Alya said miserably and Nora sighed and just looked at Alya.

 “I gotta baby sis, I mean it was another mass attack! I mean you were able to hide last time with string bean but this time you were in ground zero!” Nora said and Alya nodded as she sighed.

 “But nothing happened! The attack failed, it was more of a scare tactic than anything else!” Alya argued and looked at Nora who only shook her head.  

 “Sis, mom was worried after the last time the scum did it for two weeks, she jumped each time the alert went out! We have to tell them about it!” Nora said.  Why is she fighting me on this, I mean she has to know how mom and dad are, but what’s she thinking acting like this?!  Nora thought and looked at her sister. “ I have to do this sis, you know how mom and pops will react if they learn from anyone but us!”

 “But with everything that’s happening now!” Alya said before she clapped her hands over her mouth and Nora looked at her sister and sighed and shook her head.

 “It’s because of what they have on their plate, isn’t it sis?” Nora asked and Alya nodded.  

 “Oh Alya.” Nora said and shook her head. Her sister was a great kid, but she always put more on her to help the family than was healthy for her.  

 “Yeah I know, but I did what I think was right for the family.” Alya said and Nora looked at her and sighed

 “Kid, you know how to give your sister problems.” Nora said.  On one hand, I should tell the rents right away, but on the other hand I can understand why my sister does what she does, most of the time.  Nora thought as she looked at her sister.

 “Sis, there was a mass attack again, there going to find out sooner or later even if it fizzled out. But I get it that you don’t want their jobs to be in danger…….so I won’t tell them about it, but after dinner when dad’s back tomorrow the three of us will sit down and talk to him about it.” Nora said and Alya hugged her sister who laughed a little and smiled down at her. “Hey sis, I just doing what you were, it’s something to talk about sure but we can throw it on the back burner until this is done okay? But once dad is back we’re talking all about it.”

 “Thanks Nora, I……sorry.” Alya said and Nora grinned at her sister.  

 “Hey you choose the harder option, and I’m proud of you for doing that, even though I don’t like the fact you had to do it.” Nora said and sighed before she reached over and grabbed Alya around her shoulders, drawing her closer. “But it shows maturity, but we need to talk about that kid!”

 “Okay, okay!” Alya laughed and Nora laughed with her. As they walked through the park Nora and Alya just made small talk with each other; letting the stress of their lives die away from their minds as they just bonded as sisters. As they were turning the corner Alya looked ahead and pulled Nora to the side, hiding her from view behind a statue before she put a hand on Nora’s mouth. As Nora looked at her sister in confusion she saw a look of anger and hatred and followed her eyes to a teen girl with long, hip-length chestnut brown hair with bangs similar to a horse mane in a vermilion jacket over a dark gray strapless jumpsuit that has tiny white spots and wears light gray tights and brown ankle-length high heel boots.

 “Lila!” Alya growled as she saw the girl walk towards an empty area of the park where the fence separated the park from the street. After a few moments, Alya moved her hand away and looked at where Lila had gone.  

 “I’m betting that was the liar who snowed you little sis?” Nora asked and Alya nodded.    

 “That’s her.” Alya said softly and looked at where Lila was going and looked at Nora.  

 “Let’s follow her.” 

Nora said and Alya grinned and hugged her sister, remember where she had gotten her sense of justice. As they dashed after Lila, they saw her sit down at a bench.  

 “What’s she doing?” 

Nora muttered and Alya shrugged as she brought up her phone and started to record what Lila was doing.  I don’t like this, what wrong? Something about this is making my teeth chatter and something is setting me on edge. 

Nora thought and looked at Lila as she sat there doing nothing. After a few minutes Nora frowned and looked at Alya. “I’ll walk over, I mean I can say you described her and I’ll trash talk Marinette with my phone recording, see if she bites.”

 “Might not be a good idea sister, but……wait what?” Alya breathed as a limo drove up and stopped behind the bench and Lila. As they watched the window on the passenger side behind the cab dropped down to reveal Gabriel Agreste who looked ahead.  

 “You’ve been quite Gabriel, how’s Adrien? After the incident at the photoshoot I would have thought you might have done something beyond keeping him from school, I told you that those peasants were a bad influence. ” Lila’s voice carried to them and Nora’s mouth dry as she heard a growl from Alya. 

 “He’s not at home, he ran away.” Gabriel said and looked ahead and didn’t react when Lila turned her head to gape at him. 

“Has he contacted you at all?”  

 “No, I haven’t seen him at all and he hasn’t called me. He hasn’t made any announcements on his social media accounts has he?” Lila asked and Gabriel scowled.

 “No, he’s completely dark. I don’t have to tell you how bad this could be for both of us. If he tells anyone about what you said how you were given a modeling contract because of how you got Miss Dupain-Cheng expelled, though why you even think that I can’t understand at all! When we came to this agreement I thought I was very clear, that all I wanted from you was a complete understanding of how Adrien conducted himself in class and how people interacted with him, and if anyone was trying to take advantage of him!” 

Gabriel said with a growl and Lila looked back into the park to keep Gabriel from seeing her face and the scowl she had.

 “Dupain-Cheng is the most useless girl in the school. A terrible student, a trash fashion designer and she clings to Adrien in a completely inamorata manner!” Lila said and it was all Alya could do to keep from screaming at her for the lies that pass from Lila's lips.

 “Her talent won a competition of mine in the past, do not tell me lies. I am beginning to think that I should tell your mother about your travels.” Gabriel said and Lila kept looking into the park and even Nora could tell that this threat worked on her.

 “My mother is so busy sir, please don’t bother her!” Lila said and Nora frowned as she saw Lila’s eyes were full of rage.  

 “Don’t drag my brand down young lady, I don’t know why you went so beyond what I expected from you, but I will not have my family name or my son around people who are so low class.” Gabriel said and Alya bit her lips as Lila paled in fear.

 “Don’t worry sir, I won’t. And after what I did there’s no way for her to get back into school, I was able to check the camera’s, the one in the courtyard doesn’t even have power running to it!” Lila said and Nora gasped softly, Lila looked around the park and frowned.  

 “What is it?” Gabriel asked and Lila shook her head.

 “I thought I heard something, it must be some brat playing by the trees nearby.” Lila said and Gabriel stayed silent. “And sir, about the shoot?”

 “What about it?” Gabriel asked and Lila swallowed.  

 “Well it was canceled but if there’s a chance for me to have a solo shoot without Adrien sir?” Lila asked and Gabriel looked ahead and the limo turned back on.

 “I’ll be in touch with you.” Gabriel said as his window raised and he drove off. A few moments after he had driven out of sight Lila started to grit her teeth and screamed to the wind.

 “That idiot! Why did that idiota Adrien have to develop a backbone after everything that’s happened!? He’s nothing but a pretty face, at least until I start to teach him how to rule over people! He’s not like the others, with time I could have shown him the right way to live! But instead, he wants to be one of those sheep like that whole class and the school, they are all completely idiotic fools, I was able to use momentum to get Dupain-Cheng expelled, she doesn’t have a leg to stand on especially with the principal, I told him exactly what he wanted to hear to get him to like me just like all the other fools in that school!” Lila spat and Alya grabbed Nora and pulled her down before she could confront Lila. As the Italian liar walked away Alya kept Nora down until Lila had been gone for ten minutes and Alya turned her phone off.  

 “I didn’t expect that.” Alya said as she looked at her phone and felt Trixx press against her.  But this might help Marinette get and us put Lila away for life! And I better call Max about the…….wait. Mari was sent a file that showed what Lila did, but then does that mean what? Alya thought as she tried to figure out what Lila had thought as she did

 “What the heck was that about girl!? That was Sunshine’s old man, what’s that mean! And the Cameras don’t work at your school!?” Nora demanded and Alya looked away.  

 “Adrien said that Lila said his father told him to get Marinette expelled, and he and Marinette aren’t going back to the school after everything. And that one camera might not work but others do, I’ve seen proof.” 

Alya said and Nora frowned, wondering what Alya was hiding.

 “The old man said Adrien ran away, so where is he?!” Nora asked and Alya looked away.  

 “I can’t say Nora, I don’t know where he’s staying but I saw him at Marinette’s place.” Alya admitted and Nora whistled.  

 “Woah, Sunshine moves fast.” Nora said and Alya looked at her before blushing as she realized what her sister meant.

 “Not like that! He went there to apologize for some advice he gave my girl when he didn’t know everything about the topic, and then he stayed there after he served his father some papers!” Alya said dismissively and Nora grunted.  And then when we talked again Max spilled the beans and showed how logic could get around the glamor. And those two have to have a talk about their feelings for each other. What I wouldn’t do to learn what they decided in the end!  She thought and looked at Nora. “But back on topic, you’re staying at the apartment all alone tonight right?”

 “No, at the zoo. I’m the second chaperon.” Nora said and Alya nodded. “So you’re not at home tonight either sis?”

 “No. I’m staying at the hotel in the servant’s quarters. Mom wants to keep an eye on me I guess.” Alya said and Nora grunted and looked at her.  

 “I promise sis, I won’t say anything to dad but you will say something when we’re all home okay?” 

Nora said and Alya hugged her sister goodbye.

 “Say hi to the twin terrors sis, good luck with them and the rest of the gremlins.” Alya said and walked off, looking down at her phone as she moved.  The way that Gabriel talked to Lile-la, he didn’t want Marinette expelled at all. It doesn’t absolve Gabriel from spying on Adrien, but a father trying to look after a son if the son had to fight to go to school….. Alya thought before sighing and shaking her head before she walked towards the hotel, wondering how she could tell the others that she had proof that Gabriel used Lila to spy on Adrien

 XXXXXXX

 Chloe looked around her room and smiled as she put away her tablet and watched as Pollen flew around the room, smiling at her as she sat on her bed.

 “Everything is done Chloe, you don’t have any of those cameras around here and all we have to do is wait for Trixx’s kit and her to come over here.” Pollen said and she looked at Chloe who frowned and looked around her room. “What is it?”

 “I want to make you a little bed, but I don’t know where to put it so my parents won’t have somebody find it.” Chloe said and Pollen grinned and nuzzled Chloe’s cheek as she buzzed in happiness.

 “Thanks Chloe!” Pollen said and Chloe looked down at her with a slight scowl.

 “You deserve to at least have a bed at least!” Chloe said and Pollen giggled and smiled.

 “Some people wouldn’t.” Pollen said and beamed as Chloe looked away.  I knew it was fate that we found each other Chloe, I knew it! I’m just happy that Fu let me stay with you.  She thought before Chloe looked down at the Kwami.  

 “I just realized something; I listen to relaxing music, soft and simple to help me sleep. That won’t be a problem with you, will it?” Chloe asked and Pollen looked back.

 “Vocal or instruments?” Pollen asked with a smile and Chloe looked away.

 “Instruments and the sounds of rain.” Chloe answered and Pollen grinned.  

 “That sounds wonderful; Biao and I loved the sound of the rain when we were partners!” Pollen said and A knocking at the door caused Pollen to jet and hide under the bed as Chloe walked towards it, opening it to reveal Sabrina who smiled at her as she came in. As soon as Chloe closed the door Barkk flew out from Sabrina’s purse. As Pollen came out of hiding Chloe smiled as Sabrina sat down and put her purse on the table, a grin on her face.   

 “Well, the plan will work. 

Pollen checked everything and as far as she can see there’s nothing that records what happens here, so we’re safe and secured. And all those times I was sure he was spying on me.” Chloe said and Sabrina giggled and hid a smile. After a few moments of silence, Chloe looked at Sabrina and just crossed her arms and as she looked at her friend.

 “What?” Chloe asked as she looked at Sabrina who grinned back at her.

 “I’m just happy that you’ve finally gotten around to opening up to more people besides me and Adrien! And you’re ship is finally sailing!” Sabrina said and Chloe looked away and blushed. Ever since she had learned that Marinette had a spine that the latter wasn’t afraid to use against Chloe, and seeing how the teen felt about her brother Adrien, she had hoped the two of them would stop dancing around them, something a lot of students at school wanted too and because then they would win……Chloe went still as a grin suddenly grew on her face, one that wouldn’t be out of place on her mother.  

 Sabrina looked at Chloe’s expression and paled in fear, the Kwami huddled together as a strange feeling that they couldn’t identify. “Chloe…….what is it?”

 “Oh I just thought about the pot for the bet. When did you give your date for when they would go on their first date?” Chloe asked and Sabrina looked at her before giggling.

 “And the two of us haven’t placed a bet yet and with your insider knowledge……. I like it.” Sabrina said and looked up at the ceiling.   

 “And the pot is big enough even if we split it four ways for us each to get a nice chunk of change.

 “Four ways? Oh our partners!” Sabrina said and Barkk started to smile as Pollen buzzed. Sabrina looked at Chloe who blushed and looked away as she realized just how that sounded.

 “Well they're here and will be with us now aren’t they?” Chloe said as she hid a blush.  

 “Yes they are.” Sabrina said and smiled at her friend. Sabrina’s dad used to have the hotel as his beet, back during the time after her mother had died so Sabrina had stayed at the hotel and gotten to know Chloe and Adrien then, and even now she helped Chloe out with her plans because she knew what caused Chloe to do them.  

 But no matter how long Sabrina had known Chloe, she had always been hard and closed off from others beyond her and Adrien, having a hard time letting others in. But learning that they had Kwami partners too, that let her drop a few of her shields. She still had a lot of baggage that held her back, but she would deal with it and maybe this would help her move on and grow, but Sabrina was worried about what Lila would think if Chloe acted differently.

 At this thought Sabrina went still and winced and looked at Chloe who looked back at her with a calm look that turned into a sigh. “You always could read me Sabrina, what gave me away?”

 The Kwami looked at each other, both of them not understanding what Chloe meant but Pollen feeling a strange feeling.

 “At least tell them all first!” Sabrina exclaimed and Chloe nodded with a hard look

 “Yeah, that is the plan for this weekend, before I watch a few of those movies I love to cry too.” Chloe admitted and Sabrina nodded.

 A knocking from the door caused Sabrina to turn and Chloe shook her head and walked over herself and opened, Alya walked in pushing a cart with food, and Chloe smiled as she smelled Pizza under one of the domes. Chloe was about to say hi when she saw the look in Alya’s eyes.  

 Chloe gestured to Sabrina who turned on the music and as Chloe looked outside and not seeing anyone stepped back inside as Alya sat down and Trixx came out and joined the other kwami. 

 “Spill it reporter, what happened now?” Chloe asked and Alya looked at them.

 “We saw and heard the false Fox and Adrien’s father talk in the park.” Trixx said and Chloe looked at the Kwami and

 “He didn’t tell Lila to get Marinette expelled.” Alya bit out and Chloe’s head snapped up and looked at her.

 “What.” Chloe said flatly and Alya paled at the way Chloe was looking at her.

 “He said he just wanted a completely independent view about how Sunshine’s acting in school, how people interact with him!” Alya said as she held up her phone.

 “That is so like Uncle Gabriel. So Lila was the brain behind everything?” Chloe asked in wonder.  Hu, I didn’t think the little parasite was that smart, I mean I always saw her as an idiot but what happened to Marinette…….no I don’t believe it.  

Chloe thought as Trixx started to growl.

 “Yeah, that false fox is a total liar! After what Tikki and Plagg said she was like as Volpina, I didn’t know why I expected something different from her!” Trixx said as the others tried to calm her down.

 “Wait…… She was Volpina!? Oh god!” Sabrina said as she dropped to the floor, her eyes shrank to pinpoints as Chloe dashed to her.

 “Brina? Sabrina are you okay!?” Chloe asked as she started to worry

 “She’s working with Hawkmoth.” Sabrina whispered in horror. Alya gasped as Chloe looked at her friend and tried to follow her logic before she realized what Sabrina said and started to growl.

 As Chloe started to growl Alya went pale in fear as she realized if Sabrina was right then she had let a terrorist watch her sisters! She was already feeling down about Lila watching them before, but if this was true then she might have put them in real danger if Lila ever figured out she was Rena Rouge.

 “What do you mean!? She’s slime but how do you get from that that she's working for a terrorist? How do you get what her Akuma was to that!?” Alya demanded and Sabrina swallowed and looked at them

 “Think about it! He can’t make those scarlet akumas on a whim! 

He has to prepare before he does it! how did he know those events would have happened if Lila didn’t tell him!” Sabrina said and Alya went still as Chloe eyes became pinpoints as she realized that yes, what Sabrina said made sense and if she was right, then they were in a lot more trouble than they thought they were.

 “That little idiot! 

When I get my hands on her throat I’ll kill her! I don’t care that……..” Chloe began before she went still and swallowed and looked at the others, a million thoughts going through her head, none of them good.    

 “Chloe, what is it?” Sabrina asked and Chloe looked at them and glared into space.

 “We only have her word that her mother is a diplomat and after the first super-villain attack anywhere with embassies, all high-level policymakers leave the city, especially mind-benders like Hawkmoth, that’s the rule most countries follow. So why would a diplomat high enough to give immunity to family members go to a city under attack?” Chloe said and Alya’s mouth dropped open, about to say why would Lila lie about that when she realized how many lies the girl had told everyone.

 “Hell. She probably said her mother was a diplomat just so that people wouldn’t bother her about the lies Lila tells! And how could any diplomat believed whatever lie let Lila skip months of school?! We don’t know what could happen when we bust her!” 

Chloe said and Alya scowled and Sabrina went over a few things that she had learned from her father and she agreed with her friend, this was shaping up to be a lot harder than she thought it would be. 

 A rumbling caused them to look at Sabrina as she blushed and looked away, both Alya and Chloe looking at her before they started to snicker before turning towards the food Alya had brought and grinned at each other, promising to talk to the others once they were done with their meal.

[radramblog]

Every Boros Commander, Part 1

Every one of these rambles is going to be longer and nerdier than the last, I guess. We’ll see how long I can keep that up for.

If you aren’t or haven’t been at least a casual fan of Magic: The Gathering, this post is going to be completely lost on you, sorry.

Oh also I’m having to split this in half since it took basically all afternoon to write and its still juuuust not done.

Boros gets a lot of shit for being bad and having bad generals for EDH until recently, and seeing as its my favourite two-colour pair I felt like exploring, well, every option we have for the combo. I’m excluding the new Commander Legends partner commanders in this, since I don’t have all day, and I’m also not covering Akiri and Bruse Tarl since no-one ever builds just Boros with them, and I’m not including 3-5 colour decks that just happen to have red and white in them. That’s not Boros.

Boros’s strengths are in manipulating combat, in tokens, and with Voltron strategies. It is the best pair for Equipment decks and top tier for Aggressive decks, to the point of being arguably shoehorned by WOTC into such strategies for a long time. Its weaknesses are mostly to do with card draw and ramp, possibly the most important things in a casual game of Commander, but the former is alleviated by many of red’s recent card draw options and the latter easily supplemented with mana rocks- if you have enough money, any deck can have good ramp, but enough budget options exist these days that it isn’t too bad even for the “worst colors”.

Anyway, enough beating around the bush lets get into this. Going in Chronological order.

Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran (29th most played as of writing)

…It seriously took until Ravnica to get a legendary RW creature? Heinous. Cool as Agrus is as protagonist of the Ravnica novel, his card simply does not hold up in 2021, let alone beforehand. He’s a Glorious Anthem style commander, except he works best only with creatures that are both red and white, and not nearly enough cards produce multicolored tokens for him to boost. Oh, also he’s a 5 mana 3/3 with no protection or evasion that has to attack to get his effect. Save it for the novel.

Razia, Boros Archangel (30th most played as of writing, the last place finalist)

Speaking of Ravnica. Razia is fucking cool, between the art and unique, if underwhelming, activated ability. She is also 8 mana and not green. She is the only commander to my knowledge that can redirect damage to opponents’s creatures, so if that’s the deck you want to build, go for it, though enjoy the distressingly small cardpool. God, they couldn’t have given her an extra power, could they?

Brion Stoutarm (6th most played as of writing)

Brion is the first actually viable commander of the bunch, being a pretty decent head to either a Fling deck with Ball Lightnings or Acts of Treason, or just Giant Tribal with his Lorwyn compatriots. I don’t think I’ve ever seen or played against Brion yet, but I’d be interested in doing so. Having lifegain in the command zone with a deck that likes throwing damage around is pretty nice. It’s surprising that he’s still so high, especially considering EDHREC (my data source) only now pulls from the last 2 years of decks, but I’m certainly not sad to see him there.

Jor Kadeen, the Prevailer (19th most played as of writing)

Spoilers: Jor is actually the best Anthem commander. +3/+0 is huge, and when most of your ramp and some of your draw is artifacts you’re not going to have a hard time getting metalcraft. 5 mana is a fair chunk for an aggressive deck but he turns the damage output up enough notches that I think he’s pretty good. Underrated in my opinion. How are there more Tajic, Legion’s Edge decks than Jor Kadeen decks?

Basandra, Battle Seraph (24th most played as of writing)

Basandra is the head of my current Boros deck, being a pillowfort/combat manipulation deck. She’s, uh, not ideal in that even, since she stops even you from casting removal and such during combat. Having an extra must attack effect in the zone is nice, though, and a flying commander can be nice for closing games out. Basandra at least has the gift of being fairly open-ended, but also, she doesn’t really do anything, so that’s probably got something to do with it.

On a side note, fuck you Terese Nielsen for turning out to be a cunt. No-one else seems to have drawn this character, so I can’t even make an alter. Fuck.

Gisela, Blade of Goldnight (10th most played as of writing)

Gisela has a lot of very attractive words on her. Unfortunately, 7 mana and that ability means that as soon as you drop her out of the zone, you better use her quick because she isn’t sticking around long. Obviously lends herself to group slug or Earthquake decks, but the former paints an even bigger target on your head and the latter is even mana hungrier than normal. I prefer her in the 99.

Aurelia, the Warleader (5th most played as of writing)

Aurelia was the “best” Boros commander for a long time, and it’s easy to see why- haste and an extra combat trigger add up to a lot of damage very quickly and it’s not like there was much competition for a while. She’s actually the only one of the top 5 Boros commanders that wasn’t printed in the last 5 years, so I guess she’s stood the test of time, much like Brion.  I’d argue she’s pretty boring though, seeing as she has the one thing she does, but she does it well and there’s no faulting her for that. She’s the closest we have to r/custommagic’s favourite “double combat triggers” legend. A lot of people seem to run her as Angel Tribal too, which of the available Angels in the zone I’d argue that’s a pretty good shout. The Red/Boros Angels are fun!

Tajic, Blade of the Legion (20th most played as of writing)

The first on this list I’d consider playing as Voltron, Tajic’s first card is indestructible which as a former Sapling of Colfenor player is fucking excellent in the zone for when you have to play defensively. He does, however, require other creatures in the deck to truly shine, and you do have to have those creatures attack, so it can be awkward to get the most out of him. He’s a cool dude though, much better than his other card imo.

Anax and Cymede (23rd most played as of writing)

The first draft I ever played was a Born of the Gods draft in which I splashed Anax and Cymede. Clearly, I had no idea what I was doing. Anax and Cymede look a lot like Tajic in deck, to be honest, since they’re creatures that like having buffs but also want other creatures around to benefit. Heroic is kind of an awkward requirement, however, and I suspect you’d be spending more time just having it as a buff for the royals themselves. Its nice to see a loving married couple as a Magic card, though, I’m sure things will be good for them always.

Iroas, God of Victory (9th most played as of writing)

Somehow despite it being common in the 99 of aggressive decks, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an Iroas deck in my local metas. I think it has the potential to be pretty powerful, since if you can meet his (admittedly harsh) requirement he’s an indestructible evasive commander with that magical 7 power making commander damage a 3HKO. And when he’s not ready to rumble, he’s nigh impossible to kill on account of the limited targeted enchantment exile people tend to play in the format. Otherwise, he makes attacking free and bountiful for other creatures, and so is just kinda good to have around- I can see running him for that alone.

Munda, Ambush Leader (27th most played as of writing)

Somehow more people are playing Munda than Razia or Agrus, despite being just the worst commander with Ally in the text (outside the type line, love you Zada) and not doing actual anything outside of that. Why the fuck doesn’t he draw the cards? Why does he just stack them? God, Munda sucks. Also I have like 3 of them, since I drafted a lot of that deck in that environment and people just pass him around. Anyone want one? Be my guest.

Kalemne, Disciple of Iroas (11th most played as of writing)

Precon face commanders always get a bit more love and a bit more power than the average legend, and Kalemne is no exception. Double Strike in the zone on a creature that gets bigger is just nuts, and it means she kills people astonishingly quickly. Even my non-voltron Kalemne deck that just wanted to play big idiots had her as a huge threat since even if she gets killed she stays big. Kalemne also happens to be probably better for Giant tribal than Brion, though he does at least get to yeet those removal magnets if they do get removed.

Anya, Merciless Angel (26th most played as of writing)

I didn’t think Anya would be this low. While she is another indestructible commander, it is conditional, and her abilities are self-sabotaging- if someone is in range of being killed by her, you’re probably not going to want to attack them just so you can keep indestructible and buffs, but you also, yknow, want to kill them. I can see her being political in this way though- keeping someone alive with her swords at their throat can have some fun implications. I think shes underrated despite her awkwardness.

Archangel Avacyn (14th most played as of writing)

(Her colour identity is RW since her other face is a red creature. It’s a bit odd, I know)

Avacyn was fucking unbeatable in draft and obnoxious in Standard (though one of my favourite magic stories involves her, so,), and since I never managed to get one for Kalemne when that deck was around I have no real love for her. She’s generically powerful without leading in a particular direction, but her flip ability is pretty cool as is her story in the set. It’s OK. Also why do people keep putting her in Angel decks? You know she doesn’t flip off those, right?

Adriana, Captain of the Guard (22nd most played as of writing)

Adriana, Adriana. I didn’t dislike Adriana as much as I did until I actually did the math on her. Typical commander games are 4-player, so she is a +3/+3 anthem at maximum assuming you have good attacks on every single opponent and that none of them are dead yet. I’m really not sure why you’d play this over Jor Kadeen, and it looks like people aren’t, so. Melee was a fun mechanic in draft, but I completely understand why it hasn’t crossed over, ever, to other formats, seeing as there are 7 total cards with it and most of them are draft chaff. CONTINUED IN PART 2...ANOTHER DAY. PROBABLY SOON SINCE IT’S 2/3 DONE ALREADY.

[capnsingh]

To each their own, but I firmly believe that this cannot top the original English dub. This new dub sounds like the weird English dubs that they would have on Jetix. Athrun sounds like he’s reciting Shakespeare for a theatre or something. Like it sounds like a rendition of King Lear, Athrun sounds like a dying old man.  Anyways that aside let’s examine how they changed the script: 

American dub: 

-Athrun pondering how he’s still alive-

 Athrun: I guess I escaped before the explosion... 

Cagalii: -points gun-

Athrun: Is this it? Is this how I will pay?

Cagalli: Kira, he could be reckless, he’d throw himself into danger, and he was afraid! But, he was kind! He didn’t deserve to die!

Athrun: Yea he was. Good to know he was still the same Kira, he was always that way. Always. 

Cagalli: Always? 

Athrun: Kira would cry over nothing. Brilliant, but he would never look before he leapt.   

Cagalli: Wait did you know Kira? 

Athrun: I knew him, yes. We were friends, ever since were we little kids. We were the best of friends. 

Cagalli: Then how...How could you? If he was your best friend then how could you have killed him? 

Athrun: I don’t know. I don’t know, okay! We were separated and the next time I saw him he was in that thing. 

Cagalli: The Strike? 

Athrun: I told him to come with me. He was born a Coordinator! He should have been with his people! The Earth Forces didn’t deserve him!

Cagalli: So you...

Athrun: I don’t know why he wouldn’t listen to me! He fought against us, he hurt my friends, he...he killed Nicol. 

Cagalli: That’s it? That’s why you killed Kira? For revenge? 

Athrun: He wasn’t Kira anymore! He was an enemy! I had no choice but to kill him!

Cagalli: You goddamn idiot! Of course you had another choice! How could you murder someone who is your best friend? 

Athrun: Because Nicol didn’t deserve to die! He loved the piano, he was fifteen. He joined up to protect his home and Kira killed him. 

Cagalli: You think Kira wasn’t fighting to protect someone too? So why the hell did he deserve to die? 

Canadian dub: 

-Athrun pondering how he’s still alive-

Athrun: I guess it’s because I got out just in time. 

Cagalli: -points gun-

Athrun: Or maybe, you’re destined to finish me? 

Cagalli: Kira...took too many risks, didn’t always know what he was doing, and always cried. But, he was kind. He was a nice guy. 

Athrun: Yeah, I know. Sounds like Kira hadn’t changed a bit. He was always like that. 

Cagalli: Did...you?

Athrun: He was a sentimental crybaby. And he was smart but he never thought things through. 

Cagalli: Did you really know Kira? 

Athrun: Yes, we were...close. We’ve been friends, ever since the day we were kids. We were the best of friends. 

Cagalli: But then...That’s crazy! If you were such a good friend then why the hell would you kill him?

Athrun: I don’t know. I have no idea why either, okay! We separated as friends, and the next time I saw him we were enemies. 

Cagalli: Enemies?

Athrun: I asked him to come with us over and over because he was a Coordinator can’t you see? He was one of us! That’s where he belonged! It wasn’t right for him to be on the side of the Earth Forces!

Cagalli: So you...

Athrun: But, whenever we talked he wouldn’t listen. He fought against us, even hurting friends of mine. And then he killed Nicol. 

Cagalli: And so-that’s why you killed Kira? Your friend? 

Athrun: He was an enemy, he wasn’t on my side anymore! I had no other choice but to kill him!

Cagalli: You idiot! How could you ever come up with something so stupid? How could you end up doing something so terrible?

Athrun: He killed Nicol right in front of my eyes! Nicol was fifteen! He loved the piano! He only fought to protect the PLANTS and Kira killed him. 

Cagalli: The reason Kira fought was to protect other people too. But that doesn’t explain why he had to be killed! 

What is the American dub’s deal with Athrun using the word “Always”. In his dramatic meeting with Kira he replies “Always” when Kira thanks him for returning Birdy. Is he secretly sponsored by the brand?

Setting aside the greatest disservice of the removal of the meme (Nicol was fifteen! He loved the piano!) one thing I do want to note for the Canadian dub, is how youthful the voices sound. Like Athrun and Cagalli sound like young people in this dub. Even the way their phrase things sound young

Also, in the Canadian dub, Athrun has a bit of a personality, like when he humorlessly asks if it was Cagalli who was destined to finish him off. I think with the script for the new dub there’s more “tell” than there is show, while the old dub was good at “showing” what the characters were going through and their emotions instead of telling us. This scene demonstrates the difference particularly with a few lines: 

(American) Athrun:  I don’t know. I don’t know, okay! We were separated and the next time I saw him he was in that thing.

(Canadian) Athrun: I don’t know. I have no idea why either! Okay? We separated as friends, and the next time I saw him we were enemies.

We know from the story and from the flashback clip that played while Athrun was talking that Kira is in the Strike. The impact is not really there, “he was in that thing” vs “we were enemies”.

Another example: 

(American) Cagalli: You goddamn idiot! Of course you had another choice! How could you murder someone who is your best friend?

(Canadian) Cagalli: You idiot! How could you ever come up with something so stupid? How could you end up doing something so terrible?

The American lines tell us plainly that Athrun had another choice and that he murdered his best friend. But we already know that, we got that. 

In the Canadian dub Cagalli’s words implies that there was another choice, but she asks Athrun as to how he could come up with the conclusion that the solution was to kill Kira. And then she reinforces her point by saying: “How could you end up doing something so terrible?” There is weight in saying “how could you do something so terrible?”

Another thing, I feel as though the American dub took away some of the emotion and frustration from Athrun for example this line:

(American) Athrun: I told him to come with me. He was born a Coordinator! He should have been with his people! The Earth Forces didn’t deserve him!

(Canadian) Athrun: I asked him to come with us over and over because he was a Coordinator can’t you see? He was one of us! That’s where he belonged! It wasn’t right for him to be on the side of the Earth Forces! 

In the Canadian dub we can hear Athrun’s frustration, “I asked him to come with us over and over”, “He was one of us!” “It wasn’t right for him to be on the side of the Earth Forces!” 

The American dub was kind of lame having Athrun say “The Earth Forces didn’t deserve him!” 

Why didn’t the EF deserve Kira? Because he was born a Coordinator. But the idea of deserve doesn’t sit too well. In the Canadian dub Athrun grasps onto this tribalism mentality as a means to justify to Cagalli why he did what he did. “He was one of us! That’s where he belonged!” and “It wasn’t right for” Kira to be on EF’s side. 

Cagalli’s lines also lose their flare: 

(American) Cagalli: That’s it? That’s why you killed Kira? For revenge?

(Canadian) Cagalli: And so-that’s why you killed Kira? Your friend?

It seems subtle but there’s a change, what is being emphasized in the American dub is Athrun’s reason, “you killed Kira for revenge”. The Canadian dub puts emphasis on the relationship between Kira and Athrun “you killed your friend”. 

Also the Canadian dub, does an interesting mirroring/ parallel sentence structuring to demonstrate the importance of what was being said. To get her point across to Athrun, Cagalli uses the term “kill” right after Athrun did.  

(American) Athrun: Because Nicol didn’t deserve to die! He loved the piano, he was fifteen. He joined up to protect him home and Kira killed him.

Cagalli: You think Kira wasn’t fighting to protect someone too? So why the hell did he deserve to die?

(Canadian) Athrun: He killed Nicol right in front of my eyes! Nicol was fifteen! He loved the piano! He only fought to protect the PLANTS and Kira killed him. 

Cagalli: The reason Kira fought was to protect other people too. But that doesn’t explain why he had to be killed! 

When Cagalli repeats the word “kill”, it is stuck not only in Athrun’s head but in the audience, and it stresses the gravity of the situation. 

In the end this scene wasn’t too egregious but it could have been better.

[dotdotdottie]

Cats and Dots || Dot & Luce

LOCATION: Ink Inc.

TIME:  Before Bea’s Death

@divineluce

Clicking on her “Bad Ass Bitches” playlist on Spotify, Luce set to work on fixing the absolute shitshow that was Dot’s tattoo. Not only was the placement bad, it looked like a drunk toddler had decided to go to town with a machine. Which is why she was more than happy to be working on it. Nothing was more interesting than fixing a bad tattoo and turning it into something worth showing off. “How the fuck did you wind up with this hot mess? And, you can’t fucking smack me for saying that because I’ll make it worse.” She grinned as she dipped the needles into ink and set to work, bobbing her head along to the beat of the pounding bassline. “Like, love is love, but christ.” She gestured to the god awful rainbow plastered on her hip. “The lines on this are hot garbage.”

The rainbow tattoo had been something Dot got in a frat house in her junior year of college. Her friend had ordered a tattoo gun off the internet and the ink had been sourced from somewhere she had no desire to examine. She didn’t regret the tattoo, it was a funny fucking story and she liked being a dumbass with a rainbow tattoo... But if she was going to make sure everyone going down on her knew she was pretty fucking gay, she wanted it to a nice rainbow. “I got it done by a coked-out frat named Braydon.” She had almost considered eating him afterward, but her colony would have been pissed. She wished she had done it. “I probably could have done it better myself, but it was kinda fun watching him struggle. Hope you know how to make it look less like an idiot did it. I don’t need people to focus on the rainbow when my snatch is out.”

Stories like this weren’t super surprising, especially not when it came to shit tattoos. Luce nodded as she filled in the stencil, a black cat whose body covered the majority of the rainbow. What bits it didn’t, she was planning on incorporating into a rainbow collar around its neck. And besides, even without the collar, it was still gonna be pretty gay. “You know, that doesn’t fucking surprise me in the slightest. Braydon,” She wiped away the excess ink, “Had awful goddamn hands. And, trust me. This is gonna be dope.” Luce grinned, “Definitely a pussy out kind of look.” She laughed. Given the fact she usually tattooed straight, toxic masculinity dudes all the time, it was a goddamn delight to be tattooing someone who wasn’t. And, Dot was cool enough. She was dating Blanche, which honestly sounded like a match made in chaotic heaven.

Listen, Dot didn’t love cats, but she would get one tattooed on her for a pussy joke. Most of her tattoos were jokes anyway. She knew plenty of people thought tattoos had to have meaning but she thought they just had to have a fun story and be cool to look at. “Oh trust me, I know Braydon’s hands were terrible. He’s one of those boys who think the clit is a suggestion instead of required.” She had slept with him a few days later simply because she had been bored out of her mind. “Can’t wait for the summer when I can show it off when I’m at the beach,” She cackled imagining the horrified faces of suburban mothers as they covered their kiddie’s eyes. She liked Luce and if she wasn’t with Blanche, she would have considered trying to smash, but for once Dot didn’t have the desire to cheat. “You got anything fucking weird tattooed on you?”

Letting out a low whistle, Luce shook her head. “Sounds about right. Boys are the fucking worst.” She said, remembering her ill-fated attempts at dating boys in high school. For the most part, they’d been boring and dumb and not terrible to hang out with. But, Jared, he was a fucking time. “Sounds like the dude I slept with back in the day. But, I gotta say, hats off to Jared. He did in fact, turn me gay.” She joked. That had been a hilarious thing for him to realize, when they ran into each other at a house party the year after they graduated. Specifically, when he found her fucking a girl on the side of his house. “Oh, it’ll be a look. And a damn good one at that.” She said as she finished up the tail of the cat. At Dot’s question, Luce laughed and nodded. “Of course I do. This is a good one,” She said and backed up to show Dot one of the tattoos on her ankle. At first glance, it was a normal anchor tattoo with a scroll script around it, the cliche every college girl got. But, the scroll read ‘Fuck your Anchor.’ “A tribute to all the stupid anchor tattoos I have to do.”

“Men are good for two things, paying us and looking pretty,” Dot said with a grin. There was a third, very important thing they were also good for, but she doubted that Luce shared her passion for sinking her fingers in the chests of frat boys and eating their hearts. “Speaking for the community, I thank Jared for his contribution. We’re glad to have such a hot gay with us.” Was she flirting? Yeah, but Dot didn’t think it was terrible to do so. It was a joke after all. She craned her neck a bit to see the progress and grinned, honestly, it looked fucking sick already. She couldn’t wait to show Blanche… And literally anyone else who was willing to look at it. She let out a cackle as she took in Luce’s tattoo. “Wow, what an icon. I hope you make sure everyone sees it when they ask for an anchor tattoo. You get a lot of those stupid mom heart ones?”

“You can say that again.” Luce laughed, thinking back to the random venmo that she’d gotten from Adam. As much of a big dumb frat boy he seemed, the dude was half-way decent. When he wasn’t talking about his crotch goblins or giving her stupid nicknames. That said, Dickcleaver Vural had a nice ring to it. “You’ve got that right. I am, in fact, a gift to the ladies and they-dies of White Crest.” Luce chuckled to herself as she filled in the body of the cat. Was she aware of the tone behind Dot’s words? Yeah, which is why she dug in just a little deeper with her needle. Not enough to blow out the ink, but just enough to remind Dot that she was, in fact, tattooing her. Besides, Luce was a lot of things, but she wasn’t the other woman type. “You know it. Oh, I’d be fucked if I did. Ulf would have my head on a spike if I went flashing that around.” She remarked as she looked at her handiwork. “Nah, most dudes have figured out those are out of style.”

Adam’s venmo had sent Dot into a cackling session that lasted for several minutes. She hadn’t expected anyone to actually send her money, but when she got the notification on her phone, Adam had gained a few brownie points. She gave Luce a mock salute,“Thank you for your service. You should be given a medal of honor.” Her eyes narrowed as the needle dug in deeper, sending a glare Luce’s way. She was pretty sure the tattoo artist was too practiced at this point to change pressure like that. Guess flirting, even jokingly, wasn’t allowed with Luce. “If Ulf doesn’t see it happen, what’s the harm? Some people wouldn’t even read it, I bet.” Even if they did read it, Dot was pretty sure some people would just get it anyway. She laughed,“That’s tragic. I love when I see them, it’s just so funny. Teasing guys about it is so fun.”

“Every lesbian who ever slept with a man should, honestly. Gold star lesbians, my ass. Give me a gold star for having to suffer through forty seconds of super sexy thrusting.” Luce grumbled as she wiped away the last of the excess black ink. Popping over the rainbow array of ink, she dipped her needles in to color after color, filling in the rainbow pattern on the cat’s collar. “The harm is when all the piss babies storm out or write bad Yelp reviews. I’m in customer service,” She pasted a fake smile on her face before rolling her eyes, “I gotta service the customer.” Arching an eyebrow at Dot’s words, Luce couldn’t resist the urge to snicker. “Well, I can tell you this, you can and should make fun of anyone who’s got a terrible tribal. God, 90’s and 2000’s tattooing was the worst.”

“Wow, he lasted a full forty seconds? You had a marathon runner. Most boys out there are one thrust wonders.” Dot loved moments like this where she just got to make fun of men as brutally as she wanted. So many people got uncomfortable when she talked about boys and her sexual experiences with them. “I’ll write you a five star Yelp after this. I’ll even include that I reccomend the lesbian artist.” It wouldn’t be the first time she wrote a long review just to praise a friend. She was great at acting like a Karen and if she used her real name, everyone thought she was seventy anyway. “I should make them tip me extra for making me witness their bad tattoos. At least my bad tattoos are covered up or I’m getting them fixed.”

“I was truly #blessed.” Luce said in a mocking voice, as she shut off her machine. “What got me was the fact he had the balls to ask, ‘was it good for you’? That was when I straight up told him I was pretty sure I preferred girls. Whoops.” She said as she wiped off the last of the ink and gestured for Dot to take a look at the tattoo in the mirror she had on the wall. “You better mention me, otherwise people will come in thinking it was Rory who did this sick pussy tat. God knows how the girls would react to that.” She snorted, amused at the other artist’s struggles with the fairer sex. “Honestly, they really should. And hey, you’re getting there.” She said as she tossed her gloves in the trash and began to clean up her station. “When are we gonna fix that jank ass dolphin tattoo of yours, huh?”

“‘Was it good for you?’ Well, bud, if I’m getting up to leave then I’m pretty sure it wasn’t good for me. Boys are fucking stupid,” Dot laughed. This is part of the reason she ate human boys, they were just so annoying. She stood, looking into the mirror with an almost feral grin. “This is fucking awesome.” Turning back to Luce she let out another half laugh,“Yeah I’ll make sure I tell them it was you. Try not to hit on all the hot ones I send your way.” Dot took out her phone to take a photo to send Blanche and a few of her old college buddies. Snorting, she shook her head,“The dolphin is staying as messed up as it is. It’s a Dot classic at this point.”

“Right? You’d think me grabbing my shorts and booking it out the door would have been a dead give away.” Luce said with a laugh as she grabbed the aftercare instructions pamphlet and stuffed it into a baggy with a little Ink Inc. sticker, some candy, and a few packets of Aquaphor. “I’m glad you like it.” She said as she held out the grab bag. “And, no promises on that.” Luce winked and shook her head as they walked out to the register. Setting the station up for her, Luce shook her head with a disappointed snap of her fingers. “Damn, and here I thought I might have a chance at getting you to rethink that. But, hey. You win some, you lose some.” As she leaned against the front desk, Luce glanced up at the clock. Dot was a dope lady, if chaotic. And, coming from her? That meant she was pretty much chaos incarnate. But, she was good company for a drink. “You wanna grab a drink? Celebrate your new art?”

[chubbyooo]

A Recipe for Disaster: A Blurred Lines Spinoff Chapter 8 - Disaster

Hey all I’m still in writing mode so here’s the end of the spinoff and it’s supercharged Gacen emotions time

Gacen races his way to try and save Nox from the carbonite while Vaylin gives pursuit

Gacen hyperventilated as he looked back on the door that just closed, he had just left Kavaraa out there with that woman, what was he supposed to do now? he was just a guy. He felt like his throat was closing up as he looked down the corridors; he had absolutely no idea where he was going, he held his head trying to quell the dizzy spell he was feeling. 

He closed his eyes and tried and tried to calm down but dread began to overtake him, suddenly he heard a loud crash against the door behind him he hadn’t got long. Kavaraa was pretty powerful but that woman seemed so unhinged, he sprinted down the corner just hoping to find his way to wherever his sister was kept.

He stumbled to a stop at a crossroads unsure of which way to go one way was clear and small and the other was full of skytroopers, Gacen swallowed hard knowing she would more likely be kept with many many guards. Gacen held the necklace for a second and summed up all his courage. 

https://open.spotify.com/track/5A8jUZatix87xG0Zj6HSKG?si=r3O_iOWcSZSAy-bgbCMGvQ

He drew his blaster quickly shooting into the crowd of droids, each shot going straight through the head causing them to crumple to the ground. As long as they didn’t overwhelm him he could do this he could be courageous and heroic maybe he could? Hopefully he could. He sprinted down the corridor throwing an ion grenade to the other end of the corridor where a multitude of skytroopers were gathering, he stumbled out of the way down another corridor as the grenade went off hoping the corridor would lead him somewhere.

He ran to the end of it and was met with a room full to the brim with all sorts of weapons all looking ancient and in some pompous guys eyes “priceless”, Gacen dove behind a case containing some kind of large spear. He began to sneak his way to the end of the room as Skytroopers flooded into the room, he got about halfway before he had to stop to catch his breath.

He was so in over his head he slumped back against a case as he began to hyperventilate, he whispered to himself “I can’t do this… I can’t” but then he thought of everyone who was counting on him, he promised Risha he’d be back he had to do this. 

At that moment he heard a loud crash and a scream echo through the chamber, that woman was looking for him again he had to run now. Gacen looked around the room noticing a large ancient looking siege weapon hanging from the ceiling he smiled... perfect, he flung himself backward sliding across the floor and as he did lined up a shot taking out two of its supports. He quickly jumped up and ran to the door as the skytroopers rained blaster fire in his direction, no time to check if his plan had worked he sprinted out of the room as a blaster bolt caught him in the shoulder.

He screamed out a string of profanities before sliding round a corner he had to work out where he was going, he found a council and tried his best to find an easy access map. It turned out this was an air conditioning terminal but there seemed to be an awful lot of power given to one room and it was close by, surely a carbonite person would need a lot of air stuff right.

Even if he wasn’t an air scientists it was worth a shot he ran towards it as the voice of the woman echoed through the chamber “you can’t hide forever little zabrak, I have your jedi friend and I don’t know if I’ll follow Arcann’s instructions to ‘keep her alive’ if you don’t show yourself” Gacen swallowed hard this was so fucked up how was he supposed to choose. However the woman probably wouldn’t go by her word based on her anger he had more chance following the plan, he spun round the next corner and ran towards the room he suspected contained Nox.

He burst into it and stopped dead as he saw the still frozen form of his little sister Kyradia, her face was racked with anger but as soon as he saw her it was like he was back with her on dathomir. He stood still for a few seconds unsure of what to do. He hadn't seen his sister nearly ten years but he could hear the footsteps approaching. He had to move, he dashed over to a nearby console unsure of what to do. 

He looked over the console and recognised it, being friends with a bounty hunter makes you a little familiar with carbonite freezers,he reached for the buttons but as he was about to hit the switch he felt his hand pulled back and held in place as he pushed to try and press the button. 

 No no no no no he felt himself lifted off the ground by the neck as the venomous voice spoke from behind him “I don’t think so zabrak” Gacen began to hyperventilate no no no he’d failed he was so close he maybe could’ve made things right. He was turned around to see the woman standing there snarl on her face with Kavaraa unconscious in her grip “we still need your precious outlander and I am not going to let you take it from us”

Gacen struggled in the grip as he felt tears begin to streak down his face “please no please you don’t understand I have to save her” she almost seemed to revel in his pleading her smile only broadening “s-she’s my little sister she doesn’t deserve this it’s n- not her f-fault” for a second Gacen thought he saw a break in the snarl but then seconds later it returned as her grip tightened on Gacen

She laughed “you’re pathetic you know that, you can’t save her we’re long past that, maybe you should’ve done it when you had the chance” Gacen was surprised she kinda had a point “to think you got this far to ‘avoid martyrs’ if it were up to me you’d both already be dead” Gacen looked from her to Kavaraa what did that mean “but then again breaking the republic is much more fun than conquering it” Gacen struggled in her grip trying desperately to reach out to his sister but he’d never been gifted that way. 

He felt her grip tighten and his vision began to fade to black…

later…

Gacen woke from that reoccurring nightmare, a day he’d replayed every day in his mind since it had happened, he’d gotten so close to saving Kyradia but really they had never been close at all. It had all been a plot to eliminate the republic and empire heroes to break their spirit and they’d fallen right into it, he looked around the bare cell he had been in for some amount of time. It felt like it’d been years but he couldn’t tell anymore he hadn’t seen a person since that day and it was starting to get to him, he had no idea where Ash and Kavaraa were or if they were even alive.

But he was more worried about the two women he’d let down, once again he’d let down his sister and failed to make things right but what was so much worse than that was he failed Risha. She was probably furious at him; he'd broken his promise and left her alone, he knew he was going to mess up sooner or later he’d messed up every relationship he’d had in his life. 

Still he missed it and her, she deserved an explanation so he was going to give it to her whether she ever saw it or not…

https://open.spotify.com/track/652zwAiP1Wdy39NY8DSMu5?si=Lhqqub2eRo-ADoXJOCnA9g

Dear Risha…

First of all you were right and I was wrong, I got captured like a dumbass and I broke my promise feel free to lord that over me til the end of time, I'm so sorry I’m such an idiot and should’ve listened to you. The truth is this happens to everyone I get close to, they fall for my facade of charm and think they know me but eventually the same thing happens I end up hurting them and then they truly know me. I knew I only would have so long before I hurt you too, I really hoped we’d have a few more years but it was fun while it lasted right?

But that’s not what this is for I said I was going to explain why I had to go to you and I will because you deserve at least that.

When I was young I lived in a small tribal village with my mother and my sister Kyradia, when we were very young my mom died so it was up to me to look after my sis. I did my best but I was still a child too so messed up a lot, every now and again though some of the other more powerful tribes would come by and they would demand a child with potential. I never knew what that meant but when it happened I had always kept Kyradia hidden as she’d always shown ‘potential’ whatever that means. But she was getting older and I hoped she could be responsible for herself so I let her look after herself a bit more, but then they came again and they were extremely thorough on wanting the best, I don’t know where they found her but clearly she wasn’t hidden enough. 

I had left her on her own and before I even knew they were there they had taken her, I immediately set out to try and free her but before I could she had freed herself, come back and somehow started defending the town.

She was different though it was very clear she was tougher and crueler she wasn’t the whimsical little sister I’d known, she’d never wanted to lead but suddenly she was in charge of the village regardless of her ideas.  If I’d just been there that day none of this would’ve happened I messed up and I hurt her irreversibly

After that our village and many in the area were attacked by slavers, my sister tried to fend them off but they were much more advanced than we ever were. They took the whole village and me and my sis were separated, from there you know the rest. I stole a ship, crashed it into an orbital station and stowed away on our ship classic pirates life stuff, it wasn’t until recently I realised Nox was Kyradia and when I did I just didn’t know what to do. I already had you guys and I didn’t want to jeopardise that but as Nox she had just become crueler and crueler I felt like I was responsible for all the hurt.

I guess I figured if I went to save her I could cross out all the damage I’d done, I wasn’t strong enough to keep her from the sisters and I wasn’t strong enough to save her from slavers, maybe I was a fool to think I was strong enough to save her from this. I’m just a weak guy who runs as fast as I can to avoid looking at all the people I’ve hurt and I’m really sorry I added you to that list Rish. 

I will always love you and I’m sorry if you can’t forgive me

Your stupid Dumbass 

Gacen…

[mrneighbourlove]

Burnt Heart: Ch 5. Reflection

A new morning arrived to the Slatki residence, and several of the older children were waiting in their father's bedroom to keep him from leaving. They discovered his presence with missing leftovers from the fridge, and a peak into the bed.

Sleep wasn’t kind to the man, but it wasn’t awful either. Although rested, Kahli had also had so much on his mind. Dreams of an absolution for one. It didn’t take long after he stirred awake to feel their presence outside. With deep breaths, the man rose to go through his selection of robes. Satisfied on a rich dark blue, he dressed appropriately before knocking on the door. “Would you all like to talk in here or in the living room?”

"Depends." Keira said, "Are you going to try to leave or listen to what we have to say?"

"Your fight with Mom wasn't necessarily... quiet." Manaco informed his father.

“It was better than the first. And no, I did not plan on leaving immediately. Once again. Upstairs or downstairs?”

"... let's go downstairs. More room. It's a little stuffy in here."

Kahli opened the door, surprised all his children were cramped together. “You look like a cradle of puppies. Move along. I’ll cook you all breakfast.”

"We already ate, we got a plate ready for you." Ahusaka set a dish full of eggs, bacon, and diced fruit in front of his father. "It's not... Mom's cooking, but it's edible. I cooked it, not Urboro."

"Hey, you ass, at least I didn't set my own butt on fire." Urboro scowled.

“Don’t swear.” Kahli shot his elder daughter a look. It appeared he slept in a little more than expected. Or maybe they all woke up early. Either way, he made his way down to the living room. Sitting on his recliner chair, Kahli took his plate of assorted foods, beginning to dine as the kids settled around the living room.

Grievous herself decided it might be best if she waited in the bathroom for all her half siblings to have a moment to speak.

"Listen, we know you want to storm off to the Empire, but we don't think that's the best idea." Miku explained, "We understand your point of view, but we understand Mom's too."

"It's like you jerked the rug out from underneath her, but not only her, us too." Manaco told his father. "We just found out we have a half-sister, like... two days ago."

"We are trying to be fair here, but... we got to be a little selfish too." Urboro huffed. "We don't want you running off and there's a chance of you not coming back."

“Would that be so bad, all things considered Urboro?” Kahli chewed on the bacon, taking his time with it. He didn’t know if it would be his last. “There’s a chance to regain some honour in a warrior’s death. It’s like the tales of all those knights I used to read to you.”

"Of course it'd be fucking bad!" Urboro protested with a snap. "Look, regardless of whether or not Mom is mad at you, we still need you! For fuck's sake, Zaltana is only seven years old!!!"

“And you’d do your best to mind your bloody tongue around her.” Kahli’s golden eyes flared with the furious shine of a dragon at his daughter. “How many times do I have to tell you to cool that tongue of yours Urboro? Apologize to your younger siblings.” The tone and power Kahli were evident this conversation wouldn’t continue until Urboro did as her father told.

"Apologize?! I haven't done anything wrong, you're the one who has an army of other kids out there!" Urboro scowled.

"Ur!" Manaco got between his sister and his father. "How about you go outside to cool off for a moment?"

"Ugh, fine. But you know I'm right." With that, she tromped outside.

“What is wrong with her behaviour...” Kahli muttered under his breath. Finishing his bacon and eggs, he moved onto eating his fruit. “I have to confront Zannah. Now that the secret has been discovered, it can give me a loophole to confront her about it.”

"Loophole? ... you're not thinking of dragging Grievous back there, are you?"

“No. The loophole was I was forced into secrecy. Now that it’s no longer secret, I can demand to be given freedom.”

"And? What will that solve? She can still hold you to your life debt." Miku pointed out. "That's two different things."

“I can ask to be rid of our debt. Either through combat... or begging.” The latter thought disgusted Kahli.

"And if you died, where would that leave us?"

“Alive. With no need to mourn me.” Kahli finished his breakfast, setting his plate down to the side. “Your mother made her point clear. Without her in my life, what passion do I have to go on? You kids are rather self efficient, and most of all, you’ll grow up. That’ll leave me alone. Can you tell me, right now, you’ll visit me as I grow into old age and am left alone?”

"Of course we will be there for you, you're our father." Manaco looked at Kahli like his sire had lost his mind. "We would never abandon you, regardless of whether or not we agree with what has happened or will come to happen."

"Besides, all you have to do, is give Mom a little time." Ahusaka assured his father. "That's all she needs. You know best of all that it takes time to rebuild trust that has been broken."

"It's not like you to give up so easily." Keira crossed her arms. "Are you really going to give up on Mom without a bit of a fight?"

"You have to see this from her point of view too," Miku tried to be a peacemaker.

"You kept something from her, even though you couldn't say a word, it's still hurtful. She's never kept anything from you. How would you feel if she did something of the sort like this to you?"

“She tried to kill me. I’d be angry, but I’d never have laid a hand on her, let alone blast her with magic. It was absolutely insane. What’s more, I’d have considered her situation as a whole instead of letting my emotions get the better of me.” Kahli shook his head, trying to diffuse his rising tension. “Zaltana, can you bring your sister back inside?”

"You can't expect Mom to turn off her emotions, Dad. Not like you do half the time." Ahusaka sighed. "Mom isn't that way, she feels more so deeply than others."

"She's the Earth Sage, her emotions and magic go hand in hand together now." Keira said.

"We don't think it was right of her to lash out at you, but we don't agree with what you did either." Miku stated.

Zaltana was quiet, but gave a soft nod as she went to fetch her sister.

“You don’t have to agree with me. You don’t even have to forgive me. I just ask you understand I had no choice in the matter.”

"We understand that, though... can you understand Mom as well?" Manaco quietly replied.

Once Zaltana brought Urboro back inside the house, the elder sibling stood there with her hands on her hips.

“I’ve had years to come to terms on her fair reaction should she ever discover the truth.” Kahli glared towards the direction of the bathroom where Grievous hid. “A truth that could have been remained hidden for the betterment of all. Why is she hiding?”

"You don't get to judge what she thinks is fair, Dad. You know better than that." Manaco ran a hand down his face. "And she's hiding in the bathroom because she doesn't want to be in the middle of this conversation, doesn't want to be the punching bag."

“Physically or emotionally?” Kahli didn’t stop his gaze towards the bathroom. “As for your mother, I think I do. You know what she said to me? That she’d find revenge against the Emperor. She can be as furious as me as she wants, even foolishly take her fury out on me, but she must not ever be so idiotic as to attack the Empire.”

"You tried to attack her out of revenge once, Dad." Ahusaka poked a hole in Kahli's logic. "You got no room to call Mom an idiot."

“I attacked when it wouldn’t bring war down upon all of Hyrule.” Kahli countered back with remorse in his voice. “And look at what that attempt on her life brought me. A debt that keeps me in her pocket.”

"Mom was probably just speaking in the heat of the moment, Dad. We all know that she wouldn't do something so reckless to ruin the relationship that Aunt Zarazu tried so hard to build." Urboro stated bluntly. "Give her a bit more credit than that. Besides, that bi---Zannah, would know it was Mom. She's not stupid to openly attack her."

"Ur has a point, Dad."

“She better not. That would only ruin all of your futures.”

"Good grief, will you at least try to get some sense of normalcy back with Mom?" Urboro asked with a roll of her eyes. "Or not? That's what we're asking. We don't want you two apart. We want all of us to be a big happy family again."

“I want that too. Everything I’ve done has been for the betterment of this family. It’s Zizi who needs to understand my position.” Kahli sounded so exhausted. “But no. She rather never be near me. There’s no excuse when it’s the truth. I know I caused her pain, but gods as my witness, I’d never go out of my way to purposely put her through it.”

"And did you tell her that?" Miku asked her father. "Mom thinks you'd choose Zannah over us."

“I did. She’s simply too angry to listen.”

"Then give her time. At least a week to cool down, and then try again."

"You're not the type to give up."

"We know Mom still loves you, otherwise, she wouldn't be so hurt." All his children believed in their parents. No, they held hope for them.

“A week?” Kahli closed his eyes, crossing his arms and pondering on the fact. Once more, he glanced at the bathroom. “Bring that ridiculous girl out.”

"... Grivy, would you mind coming out of the bathroom?" Manaco gently knocked his knuckles on the door. "... besides, Zaltana needs to pee."

“...that is acceptable.” Grievous exited, still covered in tribal paint.

"... can you help us fix this?" Manaco asked her honestly. "We could use any ideas you have."

“Me?” Grievous was genuinely caught off guard.

“Yes you.” Kahli rose from his chair, his gaze menacing on her. “Seeing you were the one to kick off this chain of events in the past few days. Why did you even leave? It’s clear you like fighting. The Empire can provide that in spades for you.”

Grievous suddenly looked downcast, embarrassed perhaps. “Well, I-”

“Spit it out girl.”

“I didn’t like the idea of being a commander. It’s too constricting for me. I’m sorry I came and ruined your perfect family dynamic because I felt I didn’t belong with my own family. That answer satisfy you?”

"... should we be a part of this?" Miku whispered to Urboro.

"What? It's drama, of course, we're going to be a part of this." Urboro snickered.

"Look, we need you to help us patch this relationship. We've always been close as a family and we don't want to lose that." Manaco gestured to his siblings.

"You're part of this family too now, whether you like it or not." Keira noted to Grievous. "So, you need to make a decision now if you're going to stay and help, or leave like you intended."

“How can I help?”

Kahli narrowed his eyes, disapproving of her. Was she only here to have questions fulfilled? “You wanted answers? Here’s a list. I’m your father. I did everything Zannah asked including reviving my tribe from extinction to pay off my life debt to her and keep my family safe and healthy. This family is my kin. You cannot hope to ever beat me or my eldest son in combat, let alone me. And by the look of your face, I’d say you have no proper will to stay. What’s your answer?”

“I-” Grievous paused, anxiety filling her. She hardly ever felt anxious, but with all these eyes waiting on her, how could she not?

"We need a decision, Grivy. You stay or you go." Manaco asked her directly, "Which is it going to be? Either you stay here, and have some support, from us, or you go out there. Alone. Into the world that you don't know."

"Stay. I'll stay." Grievous swallowed her discomfort. "I should excuse myself for now. I don't know how effective I can be in helping you. Give me time to think please."

"All right. You can bunk with me for the time being." Keira offered Grievous. "We all need some time to think."

~

Zizi hardly ever ran from her problems. She liked to solve conflicts as soon as possible to continue on without strife. Now, she did not want to go back home. All she wanted was the comfort of someone familiar, who would not pick a side, and simply let her be for a while. Thus, her mind wondered to her old friend from so long ago. She was older now, at the grand age of 51 years. No longer was she some spring chicken, or anywhere close to a child. Yet, Skull Kid still tolerated her presence.

Deep within the Lost Woods, Zizi's ears picked up on a jolly and magical tune. As she pushed away foliage, the little imp was dancing on a tree branch, playing his flute with little care in the world. The tune was positive, and had a magical, jolly nature to it. When he finally noticed Zizi listening along, he continued to play, jiving back and forth until his tune was done. "Zizi! What are you doing so deep in the woods? I don't think a Sage of the Forest could find herself lost, but I have seen stranger things."

"What else would I be doing out here, silly?" Zizi kept a smile on her face as Skull Kid turned to look at her. "I came to see you. I needed a friendly face." She then asked him. "Entertaining the fairies again? I'm surprised they let me pass through. Maybe being an Earth Sage has perks now?"

"First off, I like playing for myself. Second off, its a song I learned from a friend who was also a Forest Sage like you. Titles matter. What's so cool about calling yourself the Sage of Dirt? Forests are magical." Skull Kid pointed his flute aggressively at Zizi like a teacher would do with a pointing stick. Hopping of the tree with a few frontal flips, Skull Kid scuttled his way towards his friend. "Odd that the friendliest face you know is a mask, but I guess I shouldn't complain. He he he."

"Mask or no mask, you're still Skully." Zizi rolled her eyes when he clarified the 'correct' title. She was a Zemlja, a Lorleidian of the earth. Forest would be placing a limit on her capabilities, in her opinion. Watching him bounce around, Zizi then asked, "I haven't seen you in a while. Zaltana is going to be celebrating her eighth birthday in two weeks. You going to come to the party?"

"Hmmm, will your fierier children and sister be attending?" Skull Kid causally threw his arms behind his head to rest back on them.

"I have fifteen, eight of who are fiery and seven of who are earthy, and they'll all be attending, so yes." Zizi chuckled. "Even Manaco. He misses you too, you know. He still talks about that permanent ink prank you pulled on Vaati."

"Well, kid wanted to be a little rebellous. Although, he's not quite a kid anymore. But two weeks? I'll think about it. Maybe I can make the event more fun~" His arms switched to being swung from side to side. "You look tired. Were you up all night? Or sleep under a tree?"

"If you put a stink bomb in the bonfire like last time with the triplet's birthday party, we're going to have words." Zizi shook a finger at him. "Fun would be a paint fight, like you did with Chatima's ninth birthday. We were all shades of the rainbow for days." Sighing, Zizi shook her head. "I am tired. Haven't been sleeping too well. Found out some... unsavory news about my husband. Though, I'm here to see you, not to mope."

"Oh? You think I'm a distraction then? Well... how long of a distraction do you need?"

"You're a very good distraction, and an even better friend. No one can help me bake chocolate chip cookies like you." Zizi reminded him. "As long as you're willing to put up with me."

"Put up with you? Easy." Skull Kid thought for a moment on what they could do. Snapping his finger, he had an idea. "Hey! Why don't we go to the Forest Temple? Could use some maintenance."

"Forest Temple? That sounds like a good idea." Zizi then repeated. "Maintenance?"

"Make sure the trees are healthy. The doors all still working. The wolves happy. Clear the Skulltala webs. Etc. Etc. It could take a while though."

"Sounds just like the distraction I need," Zizi then asked him with a small grin, jesting. "How did you get to be a mind reader?"

"Stick around long enough and you can read people easily enough." With a giggle and hop, Skull Kid made his way to the temple. "Can you still run and keep up?"

"Hey now, I'm older, not old." Zizi reminded him. "Run? Why would I do that when I can just ride?" The vines shifted from the earth and carried the Zemlja. "Work smarter, not harder, Skully."

"Boo. That's not fun. And only shows you gotten softer~" Skull Kid did a few more flips, gleefully jumping from trunk to trunk lying on the forest floor.

"At least I'm not slow." Zizi teased as she shot forth on the vines, zipping past Skully. She hung upside down on the vine, and snatched his hat before the vines quickly moved her away. "Come and get it!"

Skull Kid laughed, chasing after his friend. It seemed this would be what Zizi needed for a time. At least until she was ready to confront her source of fears and wrath.

________________________________________________________________

Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/612488276332478464/burnt-heart-ch-4-boiling-point

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/612496080371957760/burnt-heart-ch-6-trading-one-pain-for-another

Crossover with @ridersoftheapocalypse. Shared world with @s-kinnaly

[witch-of-letters]

Snowy Capture (Team Desmond x Reader)

     Thun, Switzerland, 2010  

“When will you give up, Y/L/N? You know that fighting against us is futile,” the arrogant templar taunted you as if he had at least a hundred aces up his sleeves. Idiot. He was blind to your subtle attempts at untying your hands behind your back. ‘Do they train them all the ‘old school’ way?’ you briefly wondered, sarcasm rolling of your inner ‘tongue’.

“Oh, you don’t know? Never, Barty! Can I call you Barty, the name fits you we-”

 *Slap*

Your cheek stung, but not enough to make you shut up. It made you great pleasure to see them become so aggravated and angry. A perfect way to spend the night in a cold and barely-lit basement.

“What, you no like it, dude? I only have to resort to calling you names due to me not knowing what your actual name is!” You threw your head back in frustration. This mission was one of those that were supposed to be quick and involve no blood, but here you were, alone, and tied to a steel chair, which was bolted to the floor, making your escape attempt just a little bit harder to initiate.

“Oh, you don’t get to call me anything, girl. I’m the one here who gets to give you pretty little nicknames.” While he turned his back away from you, undoubtedly searching for the torture tools, you made a gagging face, which wasn’t even closely expressing your disgust. Where were your friends when you needed them?

     New York, a week ago  

 “Guys, are you absolutely sure I should be the one to do this job?” It wasn’t as though you were hesitating - you never were - but you had a feeling that this would turn out to be a trap, set by the Templars in Switzerland, far away from where you were staying with Shaun and Rebecca.

 The raven-haired hacker turned to you. As always, her voice was as encouraging as ever: “We are. William wouldn’t send you there if he wasn’t sure in your abilities to complete it. Besides, Shaun here is a wimp, so he gets to stay here with me.” You could’ve sworn the Brit’s ears twitched.

 “Now, who are you calling a wimp, Becca?! You yourself aren’t exactly a Wonder Woman, now are you?” You shot your friend a look ‘Really?’. She looked away, but there was still that satisfied smirk on her face. Shaun just stared at you both, and boy, did he look unimpressed!

 “Fine. Don’t answer.” With that he turned his gaze back to the laptop on his desk, the sound of the buttons being pressed, echoing around the spacy warehouse room. You sat beside Rebecca and leaned closer so that the guy in a grey sweater a few meters away from you wouldn't hear your conversation.

 “I’ll do it, Becs, but I’m sure that this is going to be a trap.” She stopped typing.

 “Well, you know yourself what would happen if we don’t do it…”

 “Oh, don’t tell me Mr Miles’ will blow off? He’ll spank me over his lap? *you both giggle; Shaun is as immersed in learning history as ever* Remove me from existence?” Suddenly, Rebecca looked grim, and the joy was gone from her face.

 “Then we - or you - will be forced out of the Assassins. No more killing Templars. No more protection from our allies.” You rolled your eyes.

 “Well, doesn’t that sound great?”

 “And what’s most important: Assassins will be forced to kill you - WE’ll be forced to kill you!” Shaun almost turned around but decided against it.

 “Calm down, Becca. Nothing will happen, I promise, “ you gently whispered, “I’ll just go there and finish the task, and then I’ll come back and we’ll share a huge pizza in front of the TV, watching Netflix. How does that sound?” She just hugged you. Tightly. You returned the hug with just as much force.

 “Let me pack, okay? I’ll try to be quick.” With that you went to your room, or your ‘peace corner’ as you liked to call it. There was almost nothing to actually pack. Just the basic necessities. You looked out of the window, watching the bustling city below you, as the sun went down the skyline. You’ll have a talk with William about this. Later.

     Present  

“Hellloooo, you still there, Barty? I’m getting booooreeeeeed heeeeereeee…” The silence was unbearable. You wished he’d turn on the radio at the very least. Anything else but that damn silence!

Soon enough, he came back. His menacing smile made you feel a little uneasy, but given your training, it was easy for you to ignore it. He was carrying a tiny blade in his hand.

“Want to shave my legs or something?” you snarked.

“If only…but alas, I have something else in mind.” Suddenly, you felt the rope around your hands become more lose, and before it could completely slip off, you caught it. Now you had the chance to strangle the life out of that Templar bastard! ‘Come closer you idiot!’

“Perhaps I can carve a better smile on your pretty face…or tribal markings on your stomach,” he pressed his free hand against it,”your thighs,” his hand moved lower,”or here,” he pointed at your crotch, and right before he could touch it, you put the rope around his neck and pulled it as hard as you could. ‘Come on, come on!’ You quickly jumped on his back, preventing him from grabbing you. A few seconds later, he fell on the basement floor unconscious. It was finally done. Never again would let any Templar tie you to a chair and ‘play’ with you.

On the ground floor of the small cottage, you found various things strewn around: weapons, clothes, food wrappers, and a pair of thongs? ‘Ugh! Need to find something to reach them….and food, definitely some food.’ Soon enough, you spotted a telephone near the wall and grabbed it, only to find out that the cord was cut. ‘Fucking hell!’ you thought angrily, throwing the phone over your shoulder. You searched further: the drawers, cupboards, you name it. When you stopped to look at the mirror, you squinted your eyes, seeing a red dot on the glass wall behind you. The Templars apparently had a backup plan. Great.

As you didn’t want them to think that you had spotted them, you continued looking for anything closely resembling a phone, and so you went upstairs, immediately entering the first door on your left. And there it was - a laptop, laying on a huge mahogany desk, just waiting for you to turn it on, and so you did, finding out that it was still in working condition. ‘Phew. Now onto accessing the internet. Would that even work here?’ you wondered. Looking out of the window, you saw only the snow and mountains surrounding the cottage. The Wi-Fi icon showed zero connection. ‘I guess I have to connect to the satellite directly. Hopefully, no one will notice. Not if I’m careful.’ It didn’t take very long for you to accomplish it. The moment you secured the connection, you opened up Skype, knowing that from now on, the clock started ticking.

You decided to call Rebecca since you knew she wouldn’t panic upon hearing about your current situation.

 *Beep* *Beep* *Beep*  

“Oh, pick up the call already, Becs!” The moment you said it, her sleepy face appeared in front of you. Once she fully opened her eyes, thoroughly rubbing them from sleep beforehand, they went wide. You gave her a little wave.

“Woke you up, haven’t I?”

“What’s going on?” her voice sounded hoarse.

“Well, first things first: The job’s done. He’s dead.” She didn’t appear to be bothered by the news, probably not even fully acknowledging them.

“Why are you calling me at night? Through Skype of all things?!” You sighed. This conversation would stretch for too long if you didn’t tell her what was happening right now.

“Listen! *pause* I’m currently in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by Templar snipers, and without any phone to call for help. Right now, the computer is connected to the satellite, meaning I don’t have much time until the Abstergo finds me! What you need to do, is to tell William he doesn’t need to come after me.”

 “What?! Why?!”

“I don’t know how many people are outside, much less how I’m going to get out of here! I don’t want any other assassin to risk their life for me…” You thought about your former comrades, how all them died on missions, protecting each other and the Creed. But there was no time to dwell upon it.

“Shut up, Y/N! Just let me track you down…” Suddenly, a bullet pierced the window near your head. ‘Damn it! Can’t you let a woman finish up her conversation first?!’ You quickly got under the table, and then you remembered that you didn’t have any weapon on you. All the guns were downstairs. You turned your gaze back to the screen. Both Rebecca and now-awake Shaun were looking at you worriedly.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Thank God for creating such a man! While he was always sarcastic, with everyone except Mr Miles, he deeply cared about his friends, even if he didn’t always show it.

“Not a scratch on me, Teapot, thanks.” you snarked. Becca jabbed in.

“Do you have any weapons on you?!” You peeked out from under the desk. All was quiet again.

“On the ground floor. But here’s the problem: Most of the walls down there are made from glass, and if I am correct, they should be bulletproof, but again, I cannot be certain. Don’t want to find it out the hard way, you know?”

 “We know you’re fast enough to dodge all the bullets. Just grab one and run back here.”

“If only it were that easy…but okay, I’ll do it. Keep the line open, just in case.” They both nodded.

 “Will do.”

     Outside the cottage  

“Should we finish her off, sir?” There was a pause on the other side.

 “Keep toying with her. Let her lower down her guard, and then strike.”

 “Affirmative.”

You quietly crept downstairs, keeping your head down as low as you could. Once you got there, you assessed the perimeter, noting only two snipers watching the cottage. Judging by how far they were positioned, there was only a two-seconds window available for you to grab another sniper rifle by the white couch. ‘Excellent. Now I’m going to play…by my rules.’

You jumped ahead, grabbed the gun and rolled behind the couch. You heard nothing. Peeking up, you saw that the glass walls remained intact. ‘Ahh, so you want me to think I’m safe? You can’t fool me, boys.’ Carefully positioning the barrel of your rifle, you aimed at the closest sniper to the east. Since the glass walls were closer to you, the bullet would probably just pierce it and not reach the intended target. You surveyed your options: You had one pulse grenade, a smoke bomb, and a mine. All of those would work, you knew that. And fortunately for you, the cottage wasn’t made out of wood.

You grabbed the mine and placed it behind your back. It would only take three seconds to activate it, but you had to remain calm and not show any signs of holding an explosive in your hands. Once you stood before the wall, you saw how clear the skies were, but the sun was shining behind the snipers’ backs, blinding you instead of them. ‘Can’t waste any more time! Now!’ You pulled out the mine, and placed it on the bulletproof glass wall, punching in the activation code. The red dots were pointed to your chest. ‘The game’s on, bitches.’ You got behind the couch just before the mine exploded, the wave of heat washing over you, almost making you feel being on fire. The glass shards were strewn across the floor. The black smoke completely covered the eastern side of the cottage. You didn’t know how many bullets you had. You couldn’t take any chances. Through the tendrils of smoke, you saw that the men were still laying there, waiting for you to step out. Not this time.

Aiming at the closest sniper, you took a shot, the bullet piercing him through the head. ‘That’s right, baby, you’re going down! Hmmm, I guess Miles’ shooting lessons actually paid off…’ You wasted no time on shooting the second man right in the middle of his eyes. Dead. Finally.

You went back upstairs.

“Are you still there?! Y/N?!” you heard, when you were right outside the room.

“I’m here. Still alive and well, as you can see.”

“They’re finally dead then?” you nodded.

“Now, the only thing remains, is to drive back to Bern. I’ll call you again from there.” They exchanged a look, making you feel a little uneasy. Shaun took over.

“William wants you to call him immediately.” It was inevitable. You knew that., but the sigh that escaped your lips was anything but relieved.

“Fine. I’ll call him once I’m inside the car.”

 “Please do it now, Y/N, don’t make our boss wait.”

“Kiss my ass, Shaun.” You closed the laptop. You were tired and you wanted to have a long shower, but as your friends said, the ‘boss’ was waiting for a call from you.

Before heading out, you grabbed packages of food, the weapons, and a few pieces of available spare clothing. The car, a black SUV, was waiting for you outside. The ride was going to be a long one.

When you finally got out of that town, you dialled the number you had memorised so well.

“William?”

 “I assume it is done?”

“Yeah, it is. I’m heading back to the capital now. Going to catch the first plane to the US.”

“I’ll be waiting for the full report. Miles out.” The line went dead.

“Oh, fuck off!” You threw the phone on the seat beside you. If he wants a full report he’ll get it, but first, you had to come home. Back to your little team.

[codetrainwreck]

Britannian History Lessons

I have no idea who translated these. They were extras with the season one DVDs.

The Origin of Britannia Part 1

Lelouch: So here's the first session. Suzaku: You haven't changed, Lelouch. I don't think people will understand what this session is for. Lelouch: I don't need those who don't understand. You can only learn if you're prepared to learn! Suzaku: I'm not sure about those Zero-influenced lines... Oh, but you were always easily influenced as a child. You used to imitate superheroes. Lelouch: Stop talking about something so long ago! Suzaku: But aren't we talking about history today? We have to talk about long ago. Lelouch: Urgh... being a smart aleck? I'm leaving. Suzaku: Sorry, so sorry. I'm ready to learn, Professor Lelouch. Lelouch: Good. Then tell me. Do you know when Britannia was formed? Suzaku: Of course. This year is 2017 of the Imperial Calendar, so it was 2017 years ago. Lelouch: Wrong. Suzaku: What? But the Imperial Calendar — "a.t.b." means "Ascension Throne Britannia," meaning "the year Britannia assumed the throne," right? Lelouch: It seems you did your homework. I'm impressed. Suzaku: It's common knowledge. Besides, I was tested during the Honorary Britannian appointment. Lelouch: Then, the grounds of the ascension? Suzaku: Um... I think it was triggered when Julius Caesar tried to invade... Lelouch: That's right. And one of the Celtic tribal kings who resisted is said to be the ancestor of the Britannian Royal Family. He gained freedom from Rome and was coronated — although it was more like becoming a chieftan — that year is the first year of the Imperial Calendar. Now, what's the name of this king? Suzaku: Um......... I give up. Lelouch: Hey, Suzaku! You don't have this simple information!? It's on the next test! Suzaku: Well, I was busy, so... Lelouch: Then look it up by the next time we meet. Got it?

The Origin of Britannia Part 2

Lelouch: So Suzaku, I'm assuming you did your homework. Suzaku: Of course, Lelouch. Here. Lelouch: Alwin I, eh? Yes, you're correct. You pass! Suzaku: But people won't understand what we're talking about just from this! Lelouch: I, Lelouch, order you. If you want to know, buy the first volume of the DVD! Suzaku: You're so easily influenced. Anyway... Alwin I is known to be the ancestor of the Britannian Royal Family. He gained freedom from Rome and became the first chieftan, and that year is the year Britannia was formed. I'm right, aren't I? Lelouch: For now, yes. Then can you tell me who was the Emperor of Rome at the time? Suzaku: ... I give up. Lelouch: It was Augustus. Remember that. Now, this Alwin I is only a figure from a legend and there is no proof that he existed. The history of the Empire, the "Britannia Chronology," indicates that he really existed, but this chronology was created when the Holy Empire of Britannia was founded. So when they founded the empire is when they stuck on the legacy of the Royal Family's blood as an afterthought to assure their ascension. It's common in kingship and imperialism. Suzaku: So when am I supposed to recognize when Britannia was founded? Lelouch: I guess you can regard Britannia's beginnings to be when the descendents of the Tudor family line who went to the New World ended and the Duke of Britannia started the imperial regime. The Imperial Calendar was established then too. It extended back in history and set the first year as a thousand and a couple hundred years ago. Suzaku: I see. Lelouch: Now, do you know when that year was? And who was the emperor who was coronated? Suzaku: Imperial Calendar 1813. The Emperor was Ricardo van Britannia I. Lelouch: Correct. It looks like you studied hard. Suzaku: Yeah. Cecile helped me too. Lelouch: Cecile? Who's that? Suzaku: My superior of the department I'm in. Lelouch: A woman, eh? You're good at debauching as always. Suzaku: Debauch... that's not true! Lelouch: You were always good at getting older women to like you. Suzaku: I'm not doing it on purpose! Besides, why are you bringing up the past like that? Lelouch: Huh? You said it first. That we're discussing "history." Suzaku: Urgh...

The Virgin Queen Elizabeth

Milly: What are you two doing? Suzaku: Oh, hello. I'm learing Britannian history from Lelouch. Milly: I see. But if it's history, you should ask me. You know that my character's description is "has a great knowledge in history and will cooly observe the changing world with Zero's presence." Lelouch: That description is way old. There's no hint of it anywhere. Milly: Oh, Lelouch. You are so cheeky. Don't you agree? Suzaku: Uh, um... I can't say much there (sweat). Milly: Oh well. Even without that in my description, I'm good at history. The Ashford family has nobility in its line, after all. Lelouch: Formerly, you mean. Milly: Oh, shush. Whose fault do you think that is? Lelouch: Urgh... (sweating heavily). Well, anyway. It's a good opportunity to ask the president if you have any questions, Suzaku. Suzaku: Let's see... then can you tell me about the era of absolute monarchism — about the Elizabeth I from the Tudor dynasty? She's called the Virgin Queen, but isn't it weird that she has a chld? Milly: That names comes from the fact that she was single for her whole life. There's her famous line, "I have already joined myself in marriage to a husband — my country." Suzaku: But she has a kid. Was it Henry IX? Milly: Yes. Bluntly speaking, it was an illegitimate child. Elizabeth I didn't marry, but she had many lovers. The Earl of Leicester, Earl of Essex and the Duke of Britannia are among the possible fathers. She switched between lovers all of her life. I'm a little jealous. Lelouch: So she was an Amazon. Like someone we know. Milly: What was that, Lelouch? What are you trying to say? Suzaku: I think he meant that you are similar to Elizabeth I. Lelouch: Hey, Suzaku, shut up! You idiot! Milly: I see. By the way, Vice President, did you finish the documents I asked for? Lelouch: No, I've been busy lately... I'll have it done by tomorrow's deadline. Milly: I changed my mind. I want it now. Lelouch: That's high-handed, President! Milly: Call me Queen!

Sakuradite and the Age of Exploration

Suzaku: Unh... Shirley: What's wrong, Suzaku? Are you constipated? Suzaku: Yeah, I feel so bloated... Hey, what are you making me say, Shirley? Shirley: Hee hee. I've been hanging around the President too long. But I'm surprised that you could kid around like that. Suzaku: Lelouch trains me well, doesn't he? Shirley: You guys are really close... I'm so jealous. So, why were you groaning? Suzaku: This. "In (a)'s 'Description of the World,' he describes a country known as Jipang, meaning Japan, and that it is a golden island. But it is foolish to think that this country was rich in gold; rather, it was rich in (b). At the time in Europe, research that was inspired by (c) led to the discovery of an energy source but there was not enough of it, and this hindered the progress. (a)'s 'Discovery of the World' moved the people to explore the world and eventually led to the discovery of the former United States, currently the conquered territory of Britannia." Shirley: Let's see... "Fill in the blanks. If you can." What is this? Why does this worksheet sound so condescending? Suzaku: Lelouch made it. All of his worksheets are like this. Shirley: Oh, Lulu... (laugh) So the answer to "a" is "Marco Polo," b is "Sakuradite," and c is "alchemy." Suzaku: Wow, you're good in history! Shirley: No, I'm ot. But I'm good with minerals and geosciences. My father is a geologist. He works in the bureau and he goes around investigating geological conditions. Suzaku: I see... Shirley: But this worksheet really shows Lulu's personality. Suzaku: Yeah, but I wish... it would show a little more love. Shirley: What are you talking about? It shows a ton of love! Lulu would never do this for anyone he didn't care for. I'm really jealous now. Suzaku: Why don't you tell him that you like him? Shirley: Well... huh!? How do you know that I... Suzaku: It's actually quite obvious. I think the only one who doesn't know is Lelouch. Shirley: I'll tell him myself eventually! So please don't tell him. Promise? Suzaku: Of course. Shirley: Thanks!

The Rebellion of Washington

Lelouch: ~~ ♪ C.C.: You're in an awfully good mood. Humming, eh? Lelouch: !! Oh, I didn't know you were there, C.C. C.C.: Why are you so flustered? ... Huh? What's that? Lelouch: It's none of your buisness. C.C.: Let's see... "Write the reason why the Rebellion of Washington in the Colonies ended in failure in 1770 a.t.b. in 1,200 words." Is this homework? But it's odd that you're making the worksheet... Lelouch: It's for Suzaku. Just go away! C.C.: The Rebellion of Washington... that was a long time ago. It's easy. It's because Ben betrayed the Continental Congress. Lelouch: Ben? C.C.: Oh, sorry, I mean Benjamin Franklin. Lelouch: Why can't you just call him the Earl of Franklin? Yes, it's true that Franklin went to France to ask Louis XVI to support their independence and failed. But that's not the main reason they lost, is it? C.C.: Well, Louis was willing to help. But when Ben went to France, he met the Duke of Britannia. And he was offered a title and some land in the Colonies, and fell for it. Ben is the type who prefers research to war... he was a kind man. No, too kind. If Ben had asked Louis for support, Louis would've given them an army and the Continental Army wouldn't have lost in Yorktown. And George — I mean, Washington — wouldn't have died and America wouldn't have become territorialized. Lelouch: The Duke of Britannia was involved!? That's not in any of the history materials! C.C.: But it's the truth. Lelouch: ... You talk as if you saw it happen. Could you have possibly...!? C.C.: I'm C.C. I know everything. For example, I can name the song you were just humming. Lelouch: !!!!! C.C.: Was it from 8 years ago? The special effects fighting show that aired on Sunday mornings in Japan. Lelouch: Okay! I got it! Shut up! Sheesh, you're such a... C.C.: You're still naive, Lelouch. You can't beat me in a thousand years. Lelouch: Do you mean figuratively? C.C.: Hee hee. Who knows?

The Humiliation at Edinburgh Lelouch: Good. Good. Damn. Good. Suzaku: Lelouch, can you stop correcting my worksheet out loud? Lelouch: No. Suzaku: Why not!? Lelouch: It's fun watching your reaction when you get something wrong. Suzaku: Lelouch, you're a sadist. Lelouch: Okay, 85%. You did pretty good. Suzaku: Because I have a good teacher. Lelouch: Hmph. Flattery won't get you anything! Suzaku: I'm not flattering you. I really think so. Thanks, Lelouch. Lelouch: ... Anyway, today's session... Suzaku: Um, we're at the end of the 1700s, when the citizens were starting a revolution. Lelouch: That's right. Ahem. At the end of the 1700s, all of Europe was facing rebellions that were triggered by the French Revolution. That was when Napoleon started gaining power, was crowned, and had a hold on almost all of Europe. He looked to expand to the British Isles, won the Battle of Trafalgar and held naval supremacy. He then took his 120,000 men and landed on British soil and thereafter advanced to London. The queen at that time, Elizabeth III, was chased to Edinburgh where she was captured by the citizens who supported Napoleon. She was forced to abolish the monarchy in a.t.b. 1807, which is known as the... Suzaku: "Humiliation at Edinburgh." Lelouch: Right. And the one who saved the queen is Ricardo van Britannia, the man who eventually founded the Britannia Empire. Suzaku: So his existence was important to history. Lelouch: Not so fast. That's why you're so naive. You forgot an important person. He will later be featured in many novels, plays and movies: Ricardo's right-hand man and best friend, and the strongest knight. He was the head of the Knights of the Round, the "Knight of One" — Sir Richart Hector. Suzaku: Oh! I think I've heard of him! I think I saw the movie, too. Lelouch: Then there's no problem. Without Richart, the escape from Edinburgh to the New World wouldn't have happened. Suzaku: I see... Lelouch: Then next we'll talk about the founding of the Britannia Empire. Make sure to study! Suzaku: Yes, Professor Lelouch.

The Formation of Britannia Nunnally: Oh, I didn't know you were here. Suzaku: Yeah. Lelouch was teaching me. Nunnally: When you're done, would you like to have dinner with us? They're preparing it now. Suzaku: Thanks, I'd love to. Lelouch: Then Suzaku, we'll move on to the formation of Britannia. Did you study for this? Suzaku: Leave it to me. So Elizabeth III and the aristocrats who followed her went to the New World and set up a capital on the East Coast. They started conquering America, but Elizabeth III died without leaving an heir. Lelouch: Yeah. And normally they would choose one from among the relatives, but Elizabeth appointed her lover, Ricardo van Britannia I, as the heir on her deathbed. And that is how the Holy Empire of Britannia came to be. Suzaku: It's an unbelievable story. She's known as the "Queen who lived an eventful life for love," right? She might've been nice as a lady, but I'm doubtful about her as a ruler. Lelouch: Woah! Stop, Suzaku! Suzaku: Huh? Nunnally: I see... you don't like Elizabeth III? You don't think she had what it took to be a ruler? Suzaku: Huh? What's going on? Why do I feel so cornered? Nunnally: I see... Excuse me, I must go. Suzaku: What happened? Did I say something? Lelouch: Nunnally is a fan of Elizabeth III. When she was younger, she read a highly innacurate story that depicted her as a tragic queen. Suzaku: Oh, I see. I'm sorry. I didn't know. Lelouch: Well, it's not anything new that you can't read the atmosphere. I'm glad you didn't bring up the theory that she assassinated Napoleon, because the damage would've been even more severe. Suzaku: You mean, the theory that Napoleon died on his way back to France after the loss at Waterloo because of poison in his food put in by Elizabeth's men? Lelouch: Yeah. "I will never forget this humiliation." It's a famous quote from her last testament. Nunnally: Lelouch! Suzaku! Dinner is ready. Lelouch: !! Oh, thanks, Nunnally. That was quick. Nunnally: I helped a little, that's why. Suzaku: Thanks. I thought you'd be mad. Nunnally: Of course not. It was I who invited you. "I will never forget." Suzaku:/Lelouch: ...!!! Nunnally: Please, eat up!

Arrival of the Black Ships Lelouch: So the democratic revolutions continued and the aristocrats from all over Europe, especially France, advocated the release of slaves and the war that started in the southern states became the Civil War. Any questions? Suzaku: None, I get it. Oh? I hear a knock. Come in! Kallen: Oh, Suzaku, Lelouch. What are you two doing? Suzaku: I'm having Lelouch teach me history. Lelouch: That's right. So if you don't need anything, you're in the way. Get out. Suzaku: You don't have to kick her out. I don't mind. Come on, let's continue. Lelouch: Sheesh, you're too nice. Fine, let's continue. Britannia worked on stabilizing the country while also looking at foreign opportunities, especially in the Pacific. And finally in 1853 they crossed the Pacific and arrived in Japan. Japan had an isolationist policy and realized that they'd fallen behind the rest of the world. "The denkisen awakens the Pacific slumber; just four cups and we cannot fall asleep." Are you familiar with this? Suzaku: Of course. I'm Japanese. Lelouch: Oh yeah. Well, it's obvious but this is a haiku describing the black ships of Britannia arriving at Japan. Suzaku:/Kallen: ...! Lelouch: What's wrong? Suzaku: Oh... just continue, Lelouch. Lelouch: ...? Fine. So the denkisen refers to the Britannian ships with outer rings that were operated with electric motors. It must be a phonetic equivalent. They should've written it with the kanji for "electric boats," but since Japan didn't have the technology for electricity, they used different kanji... Suzaku:/Kallen: ... Lelouch: Okay, if you gusy have something you want to say, just say it! Kallen: You're wrong, Lelouch. That's not a haiku but a parodied tanka. Lelouch: ...!! It's something similar! Kallen: No, it's not. And the denkisen actually refers to the expensive tea that was loaded on the boat. Green tea has a lot of caffeine, so the four cups making people not fall asleep is referring to the fact that a commotion was made with just four ships. Lelouch: What!? Is that true, Suzaku!? Suzaku: Umm. Sorry, Lelouch. Kallen is right. Lelouch: Urgh! Kallen: I'm sorry, Lelouch. You were enjoying your rolse as a professor, but I guess I ruined your day. Lelouch: Shut up, you. Perry ship!!

Occupation of Japan

Lelouch: So this is the last session. Suzaku: You're as abrupt as usual. But isn't this a bad place to end this? Lelouch: What are you talking about? This is just as I planned. I can't talk about the a.t.b. 1900s because it's related to the main plot. I've been told not to say anything. Suzaku: Really? But this is the last DVD volume, isn't it? Lelouch: Urgh! It's the end but not the end! Anyway, here's the last session! We're going to skip to a.t.b. 2010!! Suzaku: You don't have to yell. Oh, 2010 is the year we first met. Lelouch: Yeah. At that time Japan took advantage of how the Chinese Federation and Britannia were on hostile terms and stayed neutral. They used the sakuradite card, manipulated the distribution, and created a three-way standoff between the Chinese Federation, the EU, and Britannia to enjoy economic prosperity. Suzaku: And no one thought that Britannia would break the balance using military force. Lelouch: That's right. The common assumption in international relations at the time was that it was taboo to attack Japan. Because once a fire started, all the other factions would follow suit and a full-scale war would break out. But the one who broke the rule... Suzaku: ... Was Charles zi Britannia. The 98th emperor of the Holy Empire of Britannia. And your father. Lelouch: That man's preparations were complete. As a blindside he sent all of the Knights of the Round to Africa and Inda, and the flagship ship, the Great Britannia, to the Indian Ocean; and while others were looking away from the Pacific he seized Japan quickly. The situation was practically decided in the first 24 hours, and by the time the Chinese Federation and EU tried to act, it was too late. And what happened after that... is not necessary to say, I guess. Suzaku: Yeah, you're right. Lelouch: Now starting tomorrow, I'll talk about the history of other countries. Don't forget to study. Suzaku: Huh!? But you said this is the last session. Lelouch: It's over as in what's going to be in the DVD booklets. Your class will continue. We're starting with the Chinese Federation. Suzaku: Why the Chinese Federation? Lelouch: "It's not the end of the story" is a hint. Suzaku: Sigh... I guess there's much more... Lelouch: Are you unhappy with that!? After all that I went through to teach you!? Suzaku: No, I'm very grateful, Professor. Lelouch: Very well. Then that's the end of today's session!

[rubidium91]

A Woolly Encounter

forgive my stupid ass title - a gift for @friku8706 based on our conversation last night following their post about Wooly rescuing people from the cold. This ended up at a whopping 2094 words oh my gosh xD Hope you like it!

As he trudged through the frozen wastes, knee deep in snow, Zero silently cursed his own stupidity. How could he have been so careless? Blinded by excitement, he had neglected to fully prepare for this excursion, and now he was hopelessly lost, shivering uncontrollably, teeth rattling from the sheer cold.

              Icejins, of course, were adapted to living in rather cold conditions. This place, however, was something else entirely. The biting wind cut right through him. His skin felt like it was on fire, as he was pelted with snow and ice. It shamed him as a scientist, how he had completely underestimated just how harsh this icy wilderness really was. Had he done his research properly, he might not have ended up in this mess.

              Back when he had first heard of the mysterious tribe of icejins that supposedly lived in this region, he had set his heart on studying them. Not much was known about them; there wasn’t even concrete proof they existed. But Zero was determined he was going to be the one to find that proof. After days of scouring the libraries of the greatest cities, he at last found small references to the nomadic tribe. Images of tribal markers and paintings found in remote locations across the galaxy. Several different sets of primitive markings, all with something in common. It had to have come from the same kind of people. He eventually tracked them to this frozen planet in a corner of the galaxy. Packing his things, he immediately rushed off to board the next SpaceTrain that would bring him here.

              ‘Idiot. You damn idiot.’ He muttered to himself. He wore a long, padded winter trench coat, but he might as well have been naked for all the difference it made. The winds cut through to his bones. Hands clasped tightly to his body, he slowly continued; in which direction, he had no idea. Visibility was getting low rapidly. He thought he hadn’t gone far from the SpaceTrain station. Surely, he couldn’t have gone far? He remembered that mountain range after all, a visual marker he’d made for himself should he lose his bearings. Or was it that one there?

              Oh gods. He was lost.

              Panic set in, as Zero realised he had lost all sense of direction. Snow was up to his waist now, and it was getting increasingly difficult to move his legs. Why didn’t he just stick to the path? It was bright seemingly only moments ago, yet now it was pitch black. He couldn’t see any mountains or landmarks anymore, only swirling white winds clouding his vision. How could he have let this happen? Could people even survive here? What a stupid, stupid decision this whole trip was. He had let his excitement cloud his judgement, and now here he was, freezing to death in this snowy wasteland.

              ‘Must. Keep. Moving.’ One step. Another. Then another. Each step took every inch of willpower in him, every ounce of strength.

              ‘It’s hopeless.’ Said the voice in the back of his head, that logical part of his mind, gloating at his foolishness. ‘You stupid boy. You’re going to die here. Nobody will even find your body in this vast wilderness. When the SpaceTrain comes back, will they even realise they’re missing a passenger?’

              ‘No!’ He screamed at the gloating voice, emptying his lungs in despair. He made no sound, however, his cry carried away on the mountain winds. And as that last pitiful wail left his mouth, he collapsed into the snow, heaving with exhaustion.

              He lay there shivering and sobbing, tears freezing on his cheeks as they fell. Not like this. He didn’t want to go like this. How pathetic he must look right now, curled up in the snow, a sad and dying animal. Every inch of him was numb, and his mind was cloudy from the pain. As he lay, he realised he could no longer feel the cold and he had stopped shivering. He left almost content. He had heard of this phenomenon, the wash of euphoria one feels as one is dying of the cold. He almost chuckled at his own misfortune.

              ‘Maybe it’s best to just stop fighting. Close your eyes and go peacefully.’ That wasn’t a bad idea he thought. Was it really such a bad way to go, surrounded by the sheer terrifying beauty of nature, the snowy winds creating dazzling, flashing displays in front of him? It really was spectacular. What a pity he could never write about it, or recount his adventure to others. And now his last memory was going to be here in the tundra, watching the snow swirl around him as he lay dying. His vision fading to black, he swore he saw a shadowy person like shape above him. But that was impossible. People didn’t survive this place. It was merely a hallucination conjured up by his dying mind to make him feel like he wasn’t dying alone. Yeah, that was it. He smiled one last time, and closed his eyes.

              Warmth. Zero’s fingers and toes tingled madly as sensation returned. He flexed his fingers, and gasped at the sudden jolt of pins and needles. He focused on the pain. If he could feel pain, did that mean he was alive? As he moved, he felt wrapped around him a soft kind of fur. Wool like almost. Oh gods, it was the softest, most heavenly warm experience he’d ever felt. But what was it? He also realised he could not hear the vicious howling of the mountain winds. Where was he? He tried to open his eyes but could not muster the energy. Instead, he let himself float back into restfulness, caressed by that divine warmth, soothing him back to sleep.

              As he awoke again, Zero stretched out like a cat, savouring being able to move his body once more. The soft, warm sensation was gone, and this time, Zero managed to open his eyes and sit up. He rubbed his eyes and took in his surroundings. He was in some sort of cave. A fire was lit nearby, casting dancing shadows on the walls. Faintly he could hear the howling gales in the distance. He was still on the planet then. But how did he get here? And what was that soft warmth from before?

              The answer came just moments later, as a faint shuffling made Zero look around. The source of the noise was a curious looking, woolly creature, an icejin, undoubtedly, yet Zero had never seen anything quite like this. He was very tall, and thick white woolly fur covered several areas of his body, from his chest, around his neck, along his arms and legs, and parts of his tail. He stood feet away, berries and nuts clutched in his arms. Zero blinked several times. Did this creature bring him here? This was, he realised as his mind started working properly, that this must be one the creatures he had come here to study in the first place. They did exist, and here was one right in front of him! It must have been this icejin’s woolly coat he could feel as he slept. Was it keeping him warm? Confusion, excitement and fear collided in his mind, so he just stared numbly.

              The woolly icejin approached, and placed the haul of foraged foods down by Zero’s feet, before sitting next to him. It took a berry, ate it, then offered another to Zero. To eat. For you. Clearly, that was the message. Zero took a plump, juicy looking red berry, and nibbled it. It was sweet and delicious. How could fruit grow here? Never mind that, he thought, and sampled more of the food, carefully watching the icejin next to him. It didn’t seem hostile, rather it just sat watching him eat, smiling gently. Several minutes passed, yet still it didn’t speak. Clearing his throat, Zero decided to make the first move.

              ‘So er… You saved me from the blizzard I take it?’ But the icejin merely looked at him blankly. Zero tried again. ‘Thank you for saving my life, my name is Zero. I can’t thank you enough, honestly, I wouldn’t know how to repay you. I know you’ve done so much for me already, but do you think you could help me get home?’ He was met only with silence. Okay, this is awkward, he thought. He opened his mouth to speak again, but was stopped by the icejin, who merely pointed to his mouth, then to his ears. Ah, so this icejin was either deaf, or couldn’t understand what Zero was saying, which made sense for an isolated tribe of people; they probably had a whole language all to themselves. Speaking of which, Zero wondered whether this icejin was here alone, or if there were more of his kind somewhere. He couldn’t wait to write down his findings and make doodles of this wonderfully curious icejin.

              The icejin pushed more food toward Zero. Eat more. Zero ate, and looked around for his satchel. Miraculously, it had made its way safely here too, and was placed on top of his coat, folded neatly on a nearby rock. He went to it, pulled out his books and pencils, sat back down and started furiously sketching the woolly icejin and making notes, talking excitedly all the while. To the woolly icejin’s credit, he sat placidly, smiling as he watched Zero work.

              Zero had never been so excited. He could sit here for hours, studying this mysterious creature. He had so many questions, so much he wanted to know! They sat long into the night, Zero scribbling away, picking at the fruit now and then, until eventually, sleep called once more. They bedded down for the night, the woolly icejin curling his tail around Zero as they lay, holding him close, keeping him warm, Zero’s face burying in that sumptuous fur.

              As he lay there, Zero wondered. He supposed he would have to go home soon. He’d checked the time (miraculously, his watch still worked), and the next SpaceTrain would be arriving in the morning. He almost didn’t want to leave this place, with his new woolly friend. He still had so much he could learn. He knew he couldn’t stay however, and it filled him with a pang of sadness. Trying hard not to think about it, he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

             Morning came, despite Zero wishing it wouldn’t. Silently, he packed his bags, put on his coat, and together, he and Wooly (as Zero now called him), left the cave. It was glorious outside; the sun shone brightly, and the winds had completely died down. It was only now, as Zero looked around, that he could truly appreciate the sheer beauty of this place. He cursed himself for not bringing his camera; another oversight in his rush to set off on his journey.

              It seemed Wooly was used to seeing the SpaceTrain arrive every couple of days, as he led Zero deftly to the station, knowing exactly where to go. As they stood there waiting, Zero suddenly didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to leave his new friend. The SpaceTrain arrived in the distance, and as it made its way to the station, Zero found himself wishing Wooly could just come with him…

              Why couldn’t he?

              Zero turned to Wooly, looked up at him and said, ‘You could come with me, you know?’ Wooly stared blankly so Zero pointed at Wooly, ‘You’, then to the train ‘come’, then to himself, ‘with me?’ Luckily Wooly seemed to understand, as he smiled sadly and shook his head. Zero expected that at least, but it still made him sad. They hugged each other and Zero boarded the train. Looking out the window, he saw Wooly waving at him from below as the train sped off. Zero suddenly was overcome with emotion, and choked back the tears that threatened to fall. He wondered if he would ever see Wooly again. Would it be better to leave this solitary icejin alone, he thought? He wouldn’t want more people coming to this place to gawp at him like a freak show or zoo animal, after all. Maybe at the end of it, he would keep his research to himself, maybe even destroy it. That might be the best thing to do. Besides, he would still have his memories of him, and nobody could take that from him.

              And he would see Wooly again one day, he promised himself. He would.

(abrupt ending cos I didn’t really know how to tie it up xD Sorry <3) Also, tagging @coldphoenix , love to hear your thoughts!

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Juno enters Aries

April 28 - July 1, 2018

Juno, the Lady Asteroid of committed relationships, has a natural affinity with the sign Libra - and therefore, when she finds herself in independent, headstrong Aries, Juno may not exactly appear to be well-placed. People seem more “committed” to their relationships with their own freedom and autonomy. And indeed, a transit of Juno through Aries will certainly bring those kinds of relationship issues to the forefront.

This transit may be a lot of fun, and perhaps beneficial, for singles - we can all work on our relationships with ourselves! We can take ourselves out on dates! In fact, given the nature of the aspects Juno will make, our ability to be independent will be tested. Do we really have what it takes to go it alone? Some of us will be “up” for that challenge; conversely, others will be terrified at the prospect of solitude. We’re likely to take some risks in our pursuit of others - but more likely to be impulsive and headstrong. Please, please remember to think things through whenever possible!

People in existing relationships either will need plenty of “space,” and/or will have partners who suddenly need more “space.” We’re worried about unequal relationships in that we suspect our partners may be trying to gain some advantage over us. We’re also very fond of having our own way in partnerships - we want 51% of the power. It may be useful, and illuminating, to consider the relationship as an entity unto itself.

But, Juno isn’t just significant others.

Protocol and social ritual: manners, courtesy, all that etiquette stuff. There isn’t going to be a lot of patience for “trite” things like “please” and “thank you,” but at the same time we’ll be plenty pissed off if other people aren’t polite to us.

Feminine beauty: again, the Aries lack of patience will certainly manifest itself here as not wanting to waste a lot of time on this or that beautification process. (Which will be amplified while Venus remains in Gemini.) We might also be tempted into some “instant,” impulsive thing, like a drastic haircut.

Creative talent in the arts: everybody’s a soloist!

Women’s rights: “militant feminist” comes right to mind. How unfortunate that there is so much to be militant about. We’re impelled to take action against all oppression and to “strike a blow” for equality. Speaking of which….

Symbol for/of the powerless: I keep seeing Diana Prince.

Weather and the atmosphere: this is the scary part. Juno through Aries will square first Saturn/Capricorn and then Pluto/Capricorn; both are indicative of harsh, difficult weather situations. We can get into a lot of trouble when we’re too imprudent and overconfident.

Celebrities with Juno in Aries:

Robert Plant, Barack Obama, Rihanna, Albert Einstein, Heath Ledger, 14th Dalai Lama, Alexander the Great, Naomi Campbell, Drew Barrymore, Charles, Prince of Wales, Axl Rose, Lorde, Daniel Day-Lewis, Kate Hudson, James McAvoy, Francoise Sagan, Judy Garland, Zendaya, Tina Fey, Ozzy Osbourne, Isabelle Huppert, John D. Rockefeller, Vladimir Lenin, Norah Jones, Robin Wright, Sid Vicious

Sunday, April 29, Chiron/Aries conjunct Juno/Aries, 0:38

This is so intriguing to me - both Juno and Chiron have associations with the sign Libra (at least in my cosmology they do), but here they are, conjunct in earliest Aries. Issues about self-worth will undoubtedly crop up at this time. How can we expect to have healthy, fulfilling relationships with other people, when our relationship with ourselves is so damaged? If deep down we don’t believe ourselves worthy or deserving - if we’re looking for self-validation through having a relationship with someone else - we can only fail.

Planets/Points affected lie between 00:00 and 1:38 of all signs,and  between 14:38 and 16:38 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*..

Tuesday, May 8, Vesta Rx/Capricorn square Juno/Aries, 4:54

Vesta has JUST stationed retrograde; this will most likely manifest as overwhelming self-absorption. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, or a new situation; we’ve all been exhorted to “know thyself” since the Delphic Oracle at least. We run into trouble when we expect everybody else to be as fascinated with ourselves (or more so) than we are. Remember another old maxim - “To make a friend, be one” - and use that as a guide for the navel-gazing.

Planets/Points affected lie between 3:54 and 5:54 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 18:54 and 20:54 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

Tuesday, May 15, Saturn Rx/Capricorn square Juno/Aries, 8:31

The “severe weather warnings” go up, as this square is bound up in the Taurus New Moon. Add in plenty of issues about self-worth. We can’t go into relationships expecting the other person(s) to “complete” us or to make up for our shortcomings. If we’re personally lacking, we need to make up for it ourselves (with determined and persistent effort), rather than attempting to camouflage our flaws via a flashy relationship. And, don’t shirk responsibilities.

Planets/Points affected lie between 7:31 and 9:31 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 22:31 and 24:31 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

Friday, May 18, North Node/Leo trine Juno/Aries, 9:37;  South Node/Aquarius sextile Juno/Aries, 9:37

Speaking of self-worth! How much of our self-assessment is based on what other people think of us, versus what we know deep down, to be of genuine, authentic truth? The majority of us want to be liked and approved of by others; we don’t always worry about (again) being worthy of others’ regard. And we do some pretty drastic, ultimately alienating things when we’re afraid of losing others’ regard. Better to be “just” ourselves.

Planets/Points affected lie between 8:37 and 10:37 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius.

Saturday, June 2, Venus/Cancer square Juno/Aries, 16:46

Clashing family values - to illustrate the kinds of idiotic fights this can portend, I can use the very real controversy about when to open presents, on Christmas Eve versus on Christmas Day. We are really just so stupidly set on our tribal traditions, sometimes, without really thinking too much (or too deeply) about them. We bachelors/spinsters may rub our single blessedness into everybody’s face. This could also go 100% the other way, and we bring home a potential partner guaranteed to set off parental/tribal disapproval.

Planets/Points affected lie between 15:46 and 17:46 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 0:46 and 2:46 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*.

Friday, June 7, Mercury/Gemini sextile Juno/Aries, 19:12

Lightweight and lighthearted - very chatty, talky, hand-holding flirtations. (With perhaps some lingering through the weekend, as the Moon joins in the action on the 8th and 9th.) This is excellent for communicating couples being able to listen to each other, too. Our voices are right there, ready to go.

Planets/Points affected lie between 18:12 and 20:12 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius; placements between 18:12 and 20:12 receive a transiting yod, indicating a need for adjustments; placements between 18:12 and 20:12 receive a transiting double semi-sextile, introducing an element of gwood timing.

Monday, June 11, Pluto Rx/Capricorn square Juno/Aries, 20:45

More severe weather, and not just climate. The kinds of tensions caused by this square boil down, mostly, to issues of domination - especially within relationships, of course, but also within the larger society. We’re liable to lash out against institutional, structural racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, all the myriad ways “you’re not a straight white Christian property-owning male, so you don’t count.” We aren’t particularly in a frame of mind to team up with others, but that’s what it will take to correct this.

Planets/Points affected lie between 19:45 and 21:45 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 4:45 and 6:45 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*.

Tuesday, June 12, Sun/Gemini sextile Juno/Aries, 21:17

On the heels of yesterday’s square between Juno-Pluto, this is an opportunity to learn a little more about ourselves based on what (if anything) we did to relieve that square’s tensions. It’s good for the kind of breezy social interactions of basic “networking” - establishing preliminary rapport with others. We can be extremely charming, if we so choose.

Planets/Points affected lie between 20:17 and 22:17 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius; placements between 20:17 and 22:17 receive a transiting yod, indicating a need for adjustments; placements between 20:17 and 22:17 receive a transiting double semi-sextile, introducing an element of good timing.

Monday, June 18, Eris/Aries conjunct Juno/Aries, 24:00

At first, superficial glance, this bodes ill for relationships, as the goddesses of marriage and strife join together. Some couples thrive on conflict, though! Think of this as a thunderstorm on an unbearably hot day - it’s loud and violent, and when it’s over the air is cooler and we feel refreshed. This may bring out Juno’s protective side, as well - we can channel and manifest our inner Xena, today.

Planets/Points affected lie between 23:00 and 25:00 of all signs, and between 8:00 and 10:00 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*.

Thursday, June 28, Mercury/Cancer square Juno/Aries, 28:38

We end Juno through Aries on another argumentative note. Habitual, unthinking adherence to tribal thoughts is a pitfall. “My family has always believed XYZ; how dare you come here with your ZYX” - petty nonsense like that. *IF* we’re listening *at all*, we’re liable to misunderstand what we think we hear. And a late-Capricorn Moon will add to the overall pessimism and negativity, as well as our tendency to respond overly harshly. We need a lot of Libran calm, courtesy, and balance, to navigate through these difficulties.

Planets/Points affected lie between 27:38 and 29:38 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 12:38 and 14:38 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*.

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[commandertheory]

Ixalan Commander Set Review

For each new set, I write an article discussing the new legendary creatures and the nonlegendary cards that I think will be relevant in Commander.

In this set review, I’ll be using two five-point rating scales to evaluate the nonlegendary cards, one that measures how many decks a card is playable in (we’ll call that “spread”), and one that measures how powerful it is in those decks (”power”). Here’s a brief rundown of what each rank on the two scales means:

Spread

1: This card is effective in one or two decks, but no more (ex: The Gitrog Monster). 2: This card is effective in one deck archetype (ex: self-mill decks). 3: A lot of decks will be able to use this card effectively (ex: decks with graveyard interactions). 4: This card is effective in most decks in this color. 5: Every deck in this color is able to use this card effectively.

Power

1: This card is always going to be on the chopping block. 2: This card is unlikely to consistently perform well. 3: This card provides good utility but is not a powerhouse. 4: This card is good enough to push you ahead of your opponents. 5: This card has a huge impact on the game.

The Commanders of Ixalan

In this section, I’ll be analyzing the new legendary creatures, offering some ideas for decks build around them, and discussing their potential for inclusion in the 99 of other decks.

Gets you a ton of value from the sort of cards Green wanted to run anyway, like mana dorks and cheap utility creatures. Very strong commander.

In the maindeck:

Spread: 4 Power: 4

Lots of UGx decks run Regal Force, and she’s mostly a strict upgrade.

The best non-token non-Voltron aggressive decks find ways to mitigate the archetypes inherent weakness to board wipes (see Xenagos, which only requires you to commit a single threat to the board, or Kaalia, whose mana-saving ability breaks the symmetry of mass land destruction). I’m a little wary of Beckett Brass because she does just the opposite: she encourages you to commit lots of real cards to the board and the reward she offers for jumping through her hoop does not adequately offset how devastating it will be to trade 3+ Pirates for a single Wrath of God. 

There’s also the problem of Pirate quality; in order to hit the threshold of 25-30 Pirates needed to regularly draw enough to trigger Beckett, you’re going to have to run some very sketchy cards. Basically every Pirate with evasion that costs 3 or less is going to make it into your deck, which will be a huge liability if your opponents can keep Beckett off the field. Without Beckett on the battlefield to give you a payoff for beating down with buccaneers, your 1-power flyers do nothing, and you’re gonna fall way behind players running actual Magic cards. Hopefully Rivals of Ixalan will have more disruptive Pirates and card-generating Pirates so that you can replace the more embarrassing cards that you currently have to run out of necessity.

Sample list

I’m not going to sugarcoat it: Dinosaurs got really hosed in Ixalan and Gishath does not do enough to make up for it. Gishath’s combat damage trigger is powerful, but only if you run at least 20 members of the (terrible) Dinosaur creature type. Most Dinosaurs are expensive creatures without evasion, and almost none of them are able to generate value at a rate that comes close to what Commander players expect of their 5-, 6-, and 7-drop creatures. Drawing these huge idiots at almost any point of the game is going to be a disappointment, as casting them is usually going to be worse than trying to ramp into Gishath or increase his damage output once he’s on the field. 

In fact, given that Gishath has 7 power, haste, and trample, he’s probably most effective when you just run him as a Voltron commander. The deck’s strategy will be basically be the same but you won’t have to spend dozens of slots on bad cards.

A solid Goodstuff commander. She synergizes with some of the big lifegain cards in her colors but doesn’t need them very much; lifelink and a high starting life total will get you a lot of Vindicates before you need to reload with a Gray Merchant or whatever.

In the maindeck:

Spread: 3 Power: 2

I think she’s too fragile and slow to justify giving her a maindeck slot.

As a commander, Mavren is a weaker Brimaz with less useful typing, since there aren’t any monowhite Vampire tribal effects.

In the maindeck: 

Spread: 2 Power: 2

Edgar Markov will happily take a solid Vampire producer. I think there are a few White token decks that run Brimaz (Jazal Goldmane, perhaps), so there’s probably room for Mavren in those lists.

As I mentioned above, board wipes are the primary concern of most nontoken, non-Voltron aggressive commanders. Kopala’s abilities might discourage your opponents from casting spot removal, but spot removal is a minor problem compared to the threat of losing all your fish to a sweeper.

In the maindeck:

Spread: 1 Power: 1

Tribal merfolk isn’t really a thing (in the sense that there is no commander that effectively rewards you for committing to Merfolk), but if it was, I still wouldn’t recommend running Kopala for the same reasons he’s not good as a commander.

There are only a handful of good artifact sac outlets in monored, so I don’t think you’ll be able to reliably do clever things with the treasure Storm generates. Haste and a way to pump power (as well as a way to break symmetry on mana denial) suggest a Voltron direction for her.

In the maindeck:

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Seems a little sketchy, but you could potentially use her to generate sac fodder for commanders that can do more interesting things with it, like Slobad or Shattergang Brothers.

The Maindeck Cards

Pirates

I don’t want to waste time classifying every Pirate relevant to Admiral Beckett Brass and exactly zero other archetypes, so I’ll give you a rule of thumb that’ll let you evaluate them for yourself. If a Pirate costs four or less and has evasion or a way to generate card advantage/selection, then you’ll probably be running it in Beckett Brass. 

Dinosaurs

I also don’t want to have to run through every Dinosaur that’s relevant to Gishath, so here’s what you need to know: all the Dinosaurs aside from Wakening Sun’s Avatar and Burning Sun’s Avatar are bad, so it doesn’t matter which ones you use to fill out your Gishath deck. Beggars can’t be choosers.

Spread: 1 Power: 3

White Crovax and Selenia are both able to spend down their life totals as much as they want, so this could be useful as a way to drop opponents down to one or two. I’m pretty skeptical about using it outside of that context, though; nobody plays Reverse the Sands and this is just a slower (albeit cheaper) version of the same thing.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

It’s pretty sad compared to Sun Titan, but there is something to be said for redundancy in singleton formats. I think it’s worth testing in lists with lots of cheap utility creatures, especially those with ETB triggers.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

Without the mana denial, I’m not very interested in this version of Thalia 2.0.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

This is only going to hit a tiny subset of the threats at the table and it gives away a lot of cards in exchange. It’s a cute Sunforger target but I wouldn’t consider running it outside that context.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

More fragile than Torpor Orb with a worse body than Hushwing Gryff. Really not in love with this version of the effect.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

Helps Tazri to set up infinite Wolves with Turntimber Ranger and lets Higure find more targets than the four other Ninjas in his color identity. I don’t think Sliver decks run many non-Sliver creatures, but this could potentially allow Sliver Overlord to find them.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

4 mana is one more than this effect is worth, especially when you consider that you’re on color for stuff like Fabricate, Reshape, and Whir of Invention. Skip it unless there’s some equipment that’s really crucial to your deck’s strategy that you need many ways to find (Blade of Selves in Keiga, perhaps).

Spread: 1 Power: 2

As I said above, there’s not really a great Merfolk tribal commander at the moment. However, if one gets printed, this card will probably make the cut, since the tribe has many lords but few good token generators to spread the buffs wider.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

If the popularity of Dominate is any indicator, this card won’t see much play; there are just too many efficient ways to steal creatures in this format.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Self-mill decks are usually faster than this, but mill decks are weak enough that they might be interested.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

Great in Marchesa 1.0, Atraxa +1/+1 counters, and potentially Ezuri 2.0 infect.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

Doubling Season combos aside, this card is not Commander-playable. It doesn’t protect itself particularly well and it doesn’t generate much in the way of cards.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

It compares really unfavorably to other sorcery-speed Blue draw spells like Windfall, Recurring Insight, or Rush of Knowledge. Its ratio of cards drawn to mana spent is just not good enough.

Spread: 3 Power: 3

It’s cheap, it’s easy to flip in a spell-heavy deck, it ramps you, and it can generate cards if you need it to. Probably deserves a slot in any Blue deck that can reliably get threshold.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

Definitely worth running in Beckett Brass and Edric, maybe worth running in Azami, too?

Spread: 4 Power: 2

Compares unfavorably to Necropotence, Phyrexian Arena, Greed, Dark Confidant, Graveborn Muse, Erebos, etc etc etc. There are way too many good alternatives to consider running this.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

I think I’d rather run Sepulchral Primordial as my big reanimator finisher, even if it can’t hit my own graveyard.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

It’s slow as graveyard hate and unreliable as a value engine; seems like the worst of both worlds. It won’t be a format staple, but Beckett Brass will happily snap up a 1CMC Pirate that can potentially generate cards.

Spread: 1 Power: 3

This card will be a champ in Rakdos 2.0, but I’m not sure there are many other non-Voltron Black aggro decks that are interested in this guy.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Nekusar probably wants this as Megrim redundancy; Neheb 1.0 might be interested, as well.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

In most decks, it looks like a bad Black Market. However, there are a few builds that can make use of artifact tokens; Treasures subsidize Breya’s Grasp of Darkness effect and allow the Shattergang Brothers’ first ability to feed into their second ability.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

Dark Confidant is great in decks with a low average CMC, and Ruin Raider’s Raid condition is not that difficult to meet. Should be a strong addition to low-curve Black aggro decks (I’m thinking something along the lines of Tymna hate bears).

Spread: 1 Power: 4

Edgar Markov looooves this guy. It’s like a repeatable Malakir Bloodwitch!

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Another addition for Edgar Markov. Curving out is very important in that deck, and the suite of 1-drops is soft enough that a Vampire that deals 4+ damage per turn should slot in easily.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

I like this better than Red’s many symmetrical damage doublers, but seven mana is a lot. Heartless Hidetsugu would grudgingly run this because this effect is so crucial to that deck’s functioning, but I suspect that most other decks will skip it.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Gives a way for Zada to cash in all her tokens for cards if she’s low on gas.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

It’s definitely worse than Blasphemous Act and I suspect that it’s worse than Starstorm and Rolling Earthquake because they’re cheap when the threats are small and you can break their symmetry if you have large creatures. I think Star is about as good as Hour of Devastation, and which one you choose to run is going to depend on how big the threats usually are in your playgroup.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

I think the only deck that is really set up to exploit this is Neheb, the Eternal, since he has access to a ton of mana but needs more ways to generate cards. This helps you skip past lands and other cards you don’t need to find more gas.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Kazuul is the first commander that came to mind when I saw this card, but O-Kagachi is probably also interested in provoking some attacks. The repeatable artifact token generation could also come in handy for commanders like Breya or Shattergang Brothers.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

Unlike Outpost Siege, it only generates a card 60% of the time. That seems too unreliable to really interest me as a source of card advantage, and while the backside seems strong, the Cannons don’t flip as easily as most of the other enchantment DFCs in Ixalan. This card is a maybe if you’re a slow mono-Red or Boros deck and a no just about everywhere else.

Spread: 4 Power: 3

The front half costs one more mana than I’d like, but it’s still card selection, an easy flip condition, and a boatload of mana. Likely to be an autoinclude for any creature-heavy Green deck.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Both of these seem like powerful ways for Marath and Ulasht decks to convert counters into cards.

Spread: 5 Power: 3

Likely to become one of the stronger UB multicolor cards in the format. Stealing a Sol Ring is a massive tempo swing and stealing threats is pretty sweet, too. You can also blink or reanimate her later on to take more things!

Spread: 1 Power: 1

Making a 3/3 isn’t a great way for a planeswalker to protect itself and lifegain is a blank. Your best-case scenario is zapping three mana dorks with an overcosted Arc Lightning.

Spread: 1 Power: 3

She’s not great at protecting herself, but she’s a big upgrade over her last iteration since she can Vindicate twice in a row and her plus ability is no longer a blank. I think she’s a little expensive for Goodstuff purposes but board control is exactly what Superfriends decks want in a planeswalker, so there’s probably room for her in Atraxa or 5C Planeswalkers.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

Given that nobody plays Jayemdae Tome, I can’t imagine there are many decks that would be interested in this card. Depala, perhaps?

Spread: 2 Power: 2

The overlap between decks that have an evasive commander or lots of evasive creatures and decks that want to ramp hard is not very large, but there are probably a few decks that can meet the criteria; Breya and Thada Adel come to mind.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

Four charges makes this one of the one of the most difficult flip conditions in the set, and it doesn’t help that the front side’s effect is only worth about two mana. I think Mizzix will skip this because she can get the same effect from casting an instant or sorcery, but WU Taigam might be interested, since rebound gets you double counters off of every spell and he runs tons of extra turn effects that are great when copied. Melek and Wort 2.0 could also want this card, since they’re already running lots of spells that like to be copied.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

This effect is somewhat dependent on the commanders and archetypes common in your playgroup. If Pithing Needle has been good for you, then I think it’s worth paying an extra mana for more information.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

This is a strict upgrade over Journeyer’s Kite for the decks still running  it (mono-Red, mono-White, and mono-Brown, maybe?).

Spread: 1 Power: 1

I could imagine running this in some deck that really cares about the top card of its library (e.g., Melek, Sapling, or Intet). Otherwise, the rate is too inefficient to be worth a slot.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

I’d pay 2-3 mana for the latter effect and I’m not very interested in the former effect at any price (I generally prefer noncreature anthems that pump for at least 2 power). I don’t think the two of them together are worth five mana.

Wrapping Up

Please let me know if you think I misjudged any of these cards, missed any interesting uses for them, or if I left out any Commander-playable cards from Ixalan. Thanks for reading!

[radramblog]

Boros Commanders Ranked Pt.3- Strixhaven Spoilers

With Strixhaven showing up and having not only an enemy colour theme but also an associated set of Commander Precons, there’s a bunch new Boros (or, Lorehold, but there’s no way these names are going to catch on like the Ravnica ones did) Commanders to work with. And they’re actually pretty interesting, too. So I think it’s worth covering the full list, for completion’s sake compared to the rest of them. Of course, the set aint out yet, so this is more speculatory than the other two parts, but hey, I’m sure I can make it work.

Hofri Ghostforge

Spirits in RW is a fun idea, but I’m going to refrain from discussing it much for reasons that will soon be clear. Hofri reminds a lot of cards like Nightmare Shepherd, but with the added bonus of not stranding your cards in exile where you can’t get them, making them much more appealing for Commander. This is a really interesting ability to have in RW, and opens the colour pair up to some aristocrat-based strategies unique in the colour- however, it’s worth noting that the best thing RW brings to aristocrats is mass tokens and this guy doesn’t help with those. Still, sacking and rebuying something like Captain of the Watch seems pretty decent with this. The ability is generically powerful enough that a creature-based midrange deck with just big powerful idiots would probably really like him at the helm- I can tell you right now he goes right into Kalemne in a heartbeat. I expect he’ll see a lot of play between the 99 and the zone. It’s also worth noting he’s a generically good card that happens to be a Dwarf and a Cleric, though the latter deck typically doesn’t include Red. A fair few Red Clerics in Lorehold, though, so mayyyybe.

Quintorius, Field Historian

It’s kinda funny that we have this effect in Boros immediately after getting it in Mono-Black with Tormod- though it was also on a colourless card in Desecrated Tomb as well. RW is going to have a lot harder time triggering him compared to B, though- it’s clear that he’s supposed to work with the graveyard theme a lot of RW Strixhaven cards have, though I’m not sure there’s enough there to make Quint work. Unfortunately, his stats and buff are anemic, so if you want Spirit tribal you’re probably just running Hofri.

With that in mind, Spirit tribal in RW is a lot more solid than I gave it credit for initially, especially with some of the new cards. I wasn’t expecting much, seeing as Red is the least used colour in my 5C Spiritcraft deck, but there’s more here than I thought. You get the new Laelia who synergizes with both Hofri and Quintorius, Bell Borca who’s just solid, and I sure didn’t realise that Balefire Liege was a Spirit that goes really well with these 3/2 Tokens. I really don’t need another Spirits deck, but I think this might actually be viable.

If you do build this deck, though, put in Adamaro. For my sake.

Mila, Crafty Companion/Lukka, Wayward Bonder

Oh fuck, Boros gets a Planeswalker commander? Unfortunately, it’s a bit more awkward than I’d like. Mila is basically everything I could have asked for for Boros Superfriends- it’s a pseudo-propaganda effect that also punishes them for targeting your stuff, making your walkers harder to deal with on two axes. I’m considering putting Mila into my Basandra deck just for that second ability.

On the (literal) flipside, though, Lukka is super awkward for this kind of deck. All his abilities care about you having creatures, and while you will want some to protect your walkers they aren’t likely to be the main focus- especially since you can keep the board clear fairly easily if you want to. And unfortunately, I don’t think he’s interesting enough to build around on his own. His abilities are fairly powerful- I especially like his -2 letting you attack or block with the creature and potentially get it back before exiling it- but he is 6 entire mana in a colour combination not known for ramping well.

Velomachus Lorehold

That’s a hefty boy. Velomachus is exciting and flashy, but kind of impractical? I do like Boros Spellslinger as a deck, but 7 mana is a lot. Haste at least means you’re getting that trigger off early, and you do have access to Seething Song and the like, but I’m not actually super excited for this particular Elder Dragon. I’m willing to be proven wrong, but I think they might be the worst of the bunch? I really don’t think this needed to be 7, while the ability is strong it doesn’t seem to compare to some of the other commanders at that cost- Gisela comes to mind, as does fellow Strixhaven Elder Dragon Beledros Witherbloom. I can’t imagine this seeing much pickup when Feather (and Firesong and Sunspeaker tbh) exist and there’s 6 other Boros commanders coming out in the set. At least Elder Tribal might like him.

Side note, while converted mana cost was awkward, I don’t like how “mana value” reads. It’s shorter, I guess? Maybe this is just me turning into a Magic boomer.

Plargg, Dean of Chaos/Augusta, Dean of Order

These two…really don’t synergise together at all. I think with this you’re basically making a Plargg deck that gets to play White cards or an Augusta deck that gets to play Red.

With that in mind, Plargg is…fine? Having a rummager in the Zone could enable some Madness stuff, though White doesn’t bring much to that table. The second ability is pretty fun, though mana-hungry- but that just means it’s a fine mana sink for when you run out of cards. The card probably slots really nicely into an Alesha deck, at least. I can guarantee you this guy isn’t going to get targeted, ever. Probably more of a 99er than a commander.

Augusta, on the other hand, has a lot of words that don’t mean much. I guess you run her with a deck full of tap abilities, something which to be fair Boros has a fair few decent creatures with, but I don’t know if there are enough good ones to build a deck around. You could do pingers or something? If you played a bunch of mana dorks you could ramp with her, kinda, but you only get so many decent ones in this colour pair. It bugs me so much that you can technically double Kiki-Jiki with this, but you won’t get to attack with the second copy unless you get extra combats, which to be fair she does work well with.

And that buff is so anemic it isn’t even worth talking about.

Osgir, the Reconstructor

The face commander of the Boros Precon, so of course he’s going to be pushed. Osgir unfortunately exiles your own stuff, which I’m never a fan of but that’s just due to absolute greed and playing a lot of grindy reanimator- and he gives enough value that it’s probably worth it here anyway. He’s disgustingly good with the Wellsprings and other artifacts that like dying or are expendable- Burnished Hart comes to mind. He’s not practical as a solely reanimator deck, simply because that ability gets super hungry and is so vulnerable to graveyard hate- they put Myr Battlesphere in the precon and I really don’t want to get that removed in response. With that in mind, Red doesn’t struggle getting things (especially artifacts) in the bin, and since the payoff is in the zone, Osgir might just work really well. I don’t know if there’s anything absurdly broken he can do, but he’s just a good value engine that works with underrated or unappreciated cards- the kind of commander I tend to enjoy.

Also, he’s a Giant. Yaaaaay. (Ok look I kinda want to build Kalemne or Ruhan so this matters to me.)

Alibou, Ancient Witness

I’m sure the intent with this is artifact creature aggro, maybe with some Myr, Servo, and Thopter tokens running about, and Alibou does seem pretty solid for that. My brain, however, went straight to Ghirapur Aether Grid and shitting out as many treasures and chump artifacts as possible, tapping them, and having Alibou trigger themselves for a massive chunk of damage. The Scry is really nice on this as well, though 5 mana is awkward and the deck is likely fairly commander-reliant (at least in the second example). I think Alibou compares interestingly to Jor Kadeen (also reprinted in the deck) as an artifact aggro commander, trading his massive buff for a more long-game approach with scrying and possible removal. That haste is so so nice for this list, though. I like them.

 And that’s the lot. I’m not going to do this for every set, but Strixhaven/C21 gets an exception since there were so many options. Boros is booming- both the new commanders and some spicy new Red and White cards in the precons/main set are really starting to make up for its supposed underpowered nature.

[ts-valledelaluna]

F4 Rites of Passage

Hit Play on this before you start reading to hit the vibe!

CZERN - You were a victim of overplaying too early. I liked you as a person, but you made too many "deals"

JUDE- You were gone too soon. I was really hoping that you would make merge and we would reunite, because I wanted to work with you. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

CONNER - Victim of my idiocy #1. For some reason, we were pegged as a duo. I thought you were cool, but I guess everyone else thought I'd be easier to manipulate.

GEVONTE - I feel so bad that you had to go so early. When I saw you on the cast, I was ecstatic, because I had just been eliminated in 703 Challenge and couldn't work with you. I wish I hadn't voted you  out.

GIZMO - I'm so sorry you had the unfortune of losing your vote. I can't blame your tribe for voting out a voteless person, but I wish it hadn't been you.

NEIL - From my experience talking to you on OG Coyo, I thought you were really cool. I wish we could have worked together.

KEEGAN - My blood pact. In the game of cat and mouse, the cat should theoretically always win. I was the mouse, and somehow I won. I wish I had tried harder to work with you though, it would have saved me a lot of trouble.

RIZO - I wish I had been able to talk to you more. I know from experience that first merge boot is absolutely the worst, I'm so sorry that you had the misfortune of receiving it.

NATHAN - I don't know if you felt the same way, but I considered you my ride or die until you left. You had me as a Guardian Angel in a way, and I'm glad I was able to at least try to help you. If I had known that you were getting the majority of the votes, I would have tried to save you. It hurt so bad to have to badmouth you after you were gone so I could fit in.

LEXI - I know I've basically said this to half the cast, but I wish we could have worked together. Maybe we can if we play another game together! Like Gevonte, I was really happy to see you on the cast. I think we really could have worked together if I hadn't wanted Keegan out so bad. That was just one of my mistakes I guess.

NICK - Victim of my idiocy #2. I don't know if this is what you want to hear, but you know what? You fucking told me so. It WASN'T the right time to get you out. Yet, here I am, not campaigning enough to save you, because I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry, I hope you aren't too mad.

CHRISTIAN - Victim of my idiocy #3. I wish I had warned you that you were getting votes. I wish I hadn't voted wrong. I'm just not very smart. You are a really kind person, and I'm glad that I was able to meet someone like you.

JOEY - I'm so glad I got to play this game with you. We never really got to work together but you let me vent to you when I had one of the worst days ever. Before I met you, I didn't think I'd like you at all because of how you'd been described. But you defied my expectations so much. Thank you for playing this game, I really really really mean that.

AMY - Victim of my idiocy #4. You are one of the sweetest people I've ever had the fortune of playing with. I just can't believe you're gone. It's all my fault, I'm so stupid. I hope you and the rest of the jury can forgive me. I wish I was in jury instead.

Wow that’s a thumbnail

MICHAEL- UGH DUDEEEEE. You know I loVE you as a person and whenever we can get the chance to play together I try to work with you at least for a bit, but apperantly this time you talked to no one the whole time so you became the easy boot. I wasnt happy to see that when i woke up but also wasnt dissapointed.

CZERN: My blood pact. You rarley talked to me but i heard why you left, and WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO MESSYYYYYY, promising EVERYONE you werent gonna vote them is a god damn death sentence. GGWP praying for your best in the future.

TOMMY: Back to your ways.Not talking much, only talking about yourself, and talking game day 1. Your days were very much numbered from the start, this from my end was expected,

JUDE: JUDE UGH. I REALLY wanted to work with you at least for a little bit but you were completely unaware of the situation you were getting put into. I have always liked you as a person and this will not change here. It was unfortunate how this game played out but ignorance is bilss sometimes.

CONNER: Yeah you got what you deserved. Compete next time XOXO

GEVONTE: Absolute mess once again. Not alot to say here.

GIZMO: This was wasn't fun. Giz i went to you IMMEDATLEY talking about the ability to have something going early, and you told me about your no vote. 5 days later,,,you went wild. Making deals with everyone, spreading information, you were too messy for you own good. So when i woke up, i told you what was gonna happen and you used that as a tool to try and get me out, intentionally or not, and that was the nail in the coffin, Good game to you but UGH that was a round.

NEIL: Neil you are a really good strategist, but unaware of the social ability fully. I enjoyed talking to you but you said too much to hurt yourself, like how you watched every season of survivor. Without knowing you and that being one of the first things you say, i kept track. And you led several votes, and then eventually i was able to write your name down right before the official merge. It was a time and a half and you played hard, but thats what ended your game.

KEEGAN: Okay did I expect this? Not really. Knowing you and Lexi were tight i actually wanted to work with you at least a little bit, plus Rachael liked you so you couldnt be THAT BAD right? Bas circumstance took you out and i was saddened by it, but a child was looking for revenge.

RIZO:#BLINDSIDE, but not by me. Last i knew the newbs had conversation about who they could take out, and then i passed out with my vote on Nick, next thing i knew your game was over in a 8-4-2. You and I were TIGHT, we had called that were just personal and we had good game talk too, you were someone i really wanted to go far with in this game and i was HEARTBROKEN to see you go, but luckily for us... NATHAN: ...your main perpetrator goes next. And HOW SWEET IT WAS. A genuine #Blindside with him feeling comfortable and it not matter in the end. If it makes you feel better, I think im the only one in the 4 who actually voted you out. It was OH SO NICE to watch you go after the game i witnessed you play,,,it was nice to have your #1 in my ear though ;)

LEXI: This was the hardest vote I made all game, situation and all. I really enjoyed the conversation we had, it was really genuine and alot of good came out of it. I also wanted to work with you for a long time, and when Keegan left i thought i could do it, but unfortunately you had wanted to go on a revenge tour, and i couldnt let that go through fully. It hurt like hell and it hurt even worse when you gave me your red charm...knowing what I did was showing just what occurred...and what was to come...

NICK: what was to come...was ultimate betrayal. Nick if you dont get most robbed Juror i would be shocked. You had a REALLY good relay of information game, making everyone feel like they were close to you was a god damn good play for you. And you wanted a Final Three with amy myself and you, it was smart on your end, a lock for a win. But that was not gonna work for me and you knowing the position you had in this game I knew when we couldnt get the duo, they would be forced to look into your sights. I expect you to be bitter towards me and I wouldnt blame you.

CHRISTIAN: PLAYING WITH YOU MADE ME WANT TO DRIVE SPOONS INTO MY EYES. Your targeted at premerge was Jules, then me for like 40 minutes, then Jules again. WHY WAS JULES YOUR TARGET? You were so deadset on this happening but you didnt have the social standing for it as when you heard your name once you lost it. You were a paranoid player and having to figure out when/how to see you go was a headache in itself, and if what you said as you left was true, you having an idol was not in the plans. Good game, you are a good man and I meant when i said i liked you as a person and wanted to work with you….but DEAR GATO PLEASE BREATHE. (ironic from me if you remember the nick vote)

JOEY: The crackhead himself! Jeezus you were a damn mess too, how did you and Gato become the last pact? I have no idea, but you definitely had yourself set up to win if you were able to see the end, but your game was transparent. Not to say mine isnt either, it very well could be, but your every move was always tracked by someone else. I do not think a single thing you said in this game was hidden, including your idol. You know its always respect with me towards you but you did yourself in from the start.

AMY: If there was one person to say I was not expecting to work with this game, it was you. A reserved player who never acted on the information they had. When i said you were more intelligent then you let on, I meant it. You had information, you HAD to of had information for your game. It makes no sense if you didnt. I think out of anyone in this game you have the most potential to do REALLY well in the future and I hope that you do get that chance. It was a pleasure to play with you and I will see you very soon I do believe.

Michael- I wish we were able to play this game longer together! Even though you got my vote in the first tribal, the time I could talk to you was super cool and I really enjoyed talking to you about puzzle games and such. I’m sorry the stars didn’t align for you to stay but that’s just how it played out.

Czern- One word: Robbed. I haven’t gotten to play with you in either of the games we’ve been cast for together, but I swear to you soon enough the ORG strategy is going to click and you’re going to go deep in one of these games. Hell, it happened to me this season! Keep being you and I wish you the best of luck in future ORGs.

Tommy- Another person I didn’t get to play with for too long. Just from what I saw you went into game mode really fast, and I respect the hustle. It just didn’t slide in this game, and after hearing about how close you were with Gevonte, I knew you had to go.

Jude- I never got to play with you in this game, but just from the cast reveal you seemed pretty interesting! I’m sorry cause I hear you lowkey got robbed by Neil/Joey but I guess that’s just how the ORG struggle goes.

Conner- Not going to lie, from first glance in the cast reveal you seemed like someone I wanted to work with, and it could’ve worked. However, I heard you threw my name out as soon as we hit the swap beach, so I had to do what I had to do. You were fun to talk to on the rare occasions we did, though.

Gizmo- MY KING! Oh my god, playing as your blood pact was so fun! I really did enjoy my conversations with you, and I was so sad I wasn’t able to play with you in this game. I heard you kinda went a bit off the walls the round you got booted, but I see you killing it in other ORGs right now. Keep it up!

Gevonte- A fellow member of the Phandom! My personal conversations with you were super super fun, and I loved just fucking around. We were never able to connect on a game level, and your interests were always contrary to mine. It sucks, but that’s how it played out.

Neil- For the couple of days I was able to talk to you and wasn’t caught up in my own game, I had a really nice time talking to you! You seemed like a really cool dude, and I loved seeing the art you commissioned and talking about video games! On a game level I heard you were playing a bit hard too fast but that tends to happen on first ORGs :) I’m sure you’ll kill it soon.

Keegan- Oh my god, my King! One of the nicest and coolest people I’ve met in the ORG community, I had a good time playing this game with you. However, we never really connected on a game level, and I knew I was nowhere near the top of your interests to keep around. I’d like to say I have a decent read on the game, and thinking what I was thinking I knew I couldn’t trust you in the game. Also, I kind of wanted to get back at you for MTH hehe. I’m having a blast in Forest of Horrors btw!

Rizo- Looking back, this boot probably hurt the most for me to do. I started to get extremely desperate to not be a merge boot, and in the process I accidentally gave a fellow merge booter that placement. You were probably my favorite person to talk to pre-swap, and I trusted you almost 100%, which I normally don’t do. Just chatting with you about whatever and then going into game mode was a ton of fun, but I knew for a fact you knew more than you were telling me. I saw you kill it in 1984, so you keep doing you King! Thank you so much for being a good sport about your boot, I really appreciate it.

Nathan- My ride or die during the swap phase of this game, Nathan, you played a hell of a game. I was able to use you as a shield for a little bit, and then unfortunately you were voted out earlier than I expected. I came into this game being told you were a horrible person and a bunch of shit, but I really did not see any of that inside of the game. Just talking to you about whatever was a ton of fun. You were one of the first people to actively attempt to go on call with me, which is a rare occurrence, and you put up a hell of a fight this season. I wish you were able to succeed in your guardian angel competition so we could continue to play the game together, but sadly that was not how it played out.

Lexi- My tribe mom! Along with the Rizo boot, this is one of the boots that hurt the most in the moment and in the long term. Talking to you during the swap was so much fun, and I really wanted to work with you for the entirety of the game. Unfortunately, you were too closely tied to Keegan, and I had to take that shot (I had a bigger part in that then I led on, but you probably knew that hehe). The day where your boot occurred was probably the saddest day I had this season, cause I knew you were going from that morning. It sucked because, after not talking for a few days, we were finally able to reconnect in this game but it was too late. I know things were going rough for you during the game, so I hope everything is going okay now! I can’t wait to talk to you again, and it was so fun to play with and against you in this game!

Nick- You told me that we needed to keep each other around to make it to the end of the game, but here I am! I talked to you a lot in this game, and was really pleased by you in this game, it is very clear you are a seasoned veteran! You were one of the only people that actively kept up talking to me for the entirety of the game, and didn’t just fizzle out. You said on several occasions you wanted to work with me, and then made alliances against my best interest and expected me to trust you. I knew what you were doing pretty much the entire time you were in merge, but it was a pleasure to play alongside you.

Christian- Ohh Christian. I wasn’t able to talk to you much on a personal level, but I did enjoy our conversations about Roblox and such. We were never able to find much to connect with other than Survivor and Roblox outfits and such, but I’m sure there were some connections beneath that. From what I heard, you were gunning for me from the start of the merge, which meant I had to take you out before you could get your shot at me. As a newbie, you played amazingly, and I still have no idea if you actually had an idol or not LMAO.

Joey- Joey you played a fucking chaotic game, I’ll say that much. I heard stories about how you wanted to go to rocks at final 6 to force the rock blocker, which like, what the fuck? You played like a crackhead, and it was one of the greatest things I’ve seen in awhile. You mentioned how people didn’t like your social game, but I didn’t really see it? In my opinion, you talked to me a good amount, so I really had no complaints. I think you had a genuine shot had you made it further into the game, and I hope you’re enjoying the 6th place chat (since you said it was really cool)!!! Thank you for taking the move so well at final 6, game respects game!!!

Amy- The most recent boot, you were very much an interesting one to play with. I really wish we had time to connect more on a social level, cause your life seems so fucking interesting and I wish I knew more about it. We had a sort of mutual respect in this game, and I always wanted to be on the same side of the votes as you, but it never really worked out (mostly because I decided to be a crackhead every single vote LMAO). I’m sorry you were a casualty in the last vote, but you were really the only option I could take a shot at at that point. I’m sorry I celebrated so hard btw, that was tasteless on my part. Good game!!!