#you have no idea how much platonic interactions fuel me

[thehappiestgolucky]

will reblog this with more sketches of hugs

for now the one with Tieve! ( @lepidopteralabyrinth )

[a-hazbin-reader]

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Angst, Alastor being a dick, Alastor playing with Y/N's emotions, Vox being the second male lead in my K-Drama, Vox X Reader

Description: Alastor courts the reader just to fuck with Vox

Alastor and Vox haven't gotten along for a long time, especially now that Alastor has taken a liking to messing with Vox

Vox messes with Alastor just a smidgen, and Alastor brings down the thunder just to put him back in his place

Alastor is always looking for a new opportunity to mess with Vox, he's been getting bored of simply publicly humiliating him

You've come to learn this from your time together at the hotel, seeing how much of a menace Alastor is with your own eyes

He thinks it's entertaining and sure it can be funny at times, especially when Alastor is clearly trying to get your attention/reaction out of you

Whether you two get along well, sorta get along, or don't like each other at all, Alastor seems to like your attention in particular

Not that you think he means anything more by it, you'd never think Alastor felt anything more for you than mild amusement

You've never really added fuel to the fire though, in fact you've been keeping a big secret from Alastor in an effort to spare Vox

Vox has been romantically interested in you for some time, sending you messages, buying you gifts, trying to get you to go on a date with him

It was flattering to be honest but also a little bit annoying because the most emotion you could muster up towards him was a mild fondness

These things that were becoming increasingly difficult to hide from Alastor but so far you've managed

Alastor was just about ready to resign himself to leaving Vox alone for a while when he suddenly sees you and Vox together, the tv demon holding out a box

"Y/N, honey, baby..! Just take the gift! I insist!"

You reluctantly take the box, an exasperated expression on your face as you try not to look at him. For some reason, the sight doesn't sit right with Alastor

"A new phone? I really can't accept this-"

"Nonsense! This way I can always know where you-Y-YOU can always get ahold of me if you need me! Trust me, babe! You want my protection down here!"

You and Vox continue to talk, Vox guiding you down the street while flirtatiously talking your ear off

Watching the two of you interact gives Alastor a terrible idea but also makes his guts churn in an uncomfortable way

But it gives him a new way to mess with Vox, and he already knows how to put his plan into motion

The next time you see Alastor suddenly he's worse than ever before, always following you around, always offering to help you, always just staring at you

There was the time he helped you carry some groceries into the hotel, taking the heaviest for himself and bringing everything in one impressive trip

Or the time you caught him gazing at you from across the room with a menacing, calculating smile like he was planning something

One time you two even went out to dinner, ate delicious food, laughed for hours, then he danced with you for the rest of the night

Another time, he spent his whole morning serenading you until you came out of your home, blushing and flustered but taking the flowers he had for you

Or when the two of you were suddenly attacked and he protected you, making a show of not even taking his eyes off of you and fussing over you afterwards as if you were precious

Your cheek tingled where his claws brushed against it for days afterward

You two have been out in public together so much now that people are starting to gossip, thinking you've captured Alastor's heart

You know that's not true but it doesn't help when Alastor is taking you out to nice places to eat or buying you nice things just because you glance at them

It's rather sweet, you can't help but enjoy his attention but he only acts that way with you out in public. In private, it's as if he's repulsed by his actions

Pushing away from you and creating distance, locking himself up in his radio tower and practically ignoring you. You're completely vexed

You don't know what prompted this sudden change until you're with Alastor at the tailor and you two run into Vox

The normal friendliness you've become accustomed to from Alastor suddenly turned up to 11, Alastor wrapping an arm around you as you two approached Vox

You couldn't help but notice the way Alastor's smile got bigger at the sight of Vox faltering in his steps as he takes in the sight of you two

"Vox~! Fancy seeing you here! Come to fix those drab clothes of yours?"

Vox's eyes dart between you and Alastor, then the arm around you and back to you again. Somehow you feel like a worm on a hook stuck between the two overlords

"Actually, I saw Y/N and thought I might come by and say hello."

You open your mouth to speak, but already Alastor is turning you away from him, waving back to Vox lazily

"Well, you've said your hello so now we must be off! See you around, old pal! Darling! Come along~"

In front of everyone he pulls your face towards his own, the angle making it look like you two are kissing.

Instead, he looks into your eyes, lips barely touching as he makes a pleased sound, Vox's screen glitching angrily and your knees going weak

He holds you close to his side all the way back to the hotel but the moment the door closed behind you two then suddenly his warmth is gone and he's wiping imaginary dirt off himself

"Alastor, what was all that abo-"

"Sorry my dear! I really must get to work! Let's do this again!"

You don't see the panicked expression on his face as he locks himself away, don't get a chance to feel how fast his heart his beating

He's played this game too long and now he's worried that he's falling for you but can never admit it. He can only play along then distance himself from you

And you're left annoyed and admittedly a little bit hurt

Those feelings only get worse the more you two run into Vox, which suspiciously seems to happen more often and always when you're with Alastor

It's always the same routine, Alastor flaunts you in front of Vox, acting affectionate and sweet with you, then giving you the cold shoulder once he's gone

All the warm happiness you used to feel at having Alastor's attention has faded away into hurt and annoyance now that you know he's using you to get to Vox

You start to pull away from Alastor, making an effort to go out places without him, reject his gifts, and avoid physical touch from him

People start to whisper that you two broke up as weeks go by, and nothing changes

Alastor is surprised by how much he misses being able to do those things with you, and even more surprised by the realization

He's constantly trying to get your attention again, trying to make you smile and laugh, maybe even lean on him like you had before

And if he walks into a room to see you smiling and chatting away with someone? It irks him to see your smile melt away at the sight of him and how closed off you become

It physically pains him to watch you leave a room whenever he enters, his smile going tight when you ignore him

"Y/N! I was hoping you and I could-"

"I'm busy."

He misses you and it shows now, everyone at the hotel can tell that he's fallen for you at this point but they all know better than to say anything

Except for maybe Charlie but she's struggling to even mention Alastor's name around you before you try to run away from her

It's Angel who actually breaks through to you, sitting down beside you casually before just blurting it out

"So what the hell happened between you and freaky face, doll? One minute, you two are red hot, and the next, you're colder than ice!"

You're so caught off good guard by Angel's bluntness that you don't hear Alastor coming or notice him pull himself back around the corner to listen

You sigh and lean on Angel, a sour look coming over your face that you hide in his chest fur

"I just...I thought he really felt something but he was only using me to bother Vox... It wasn't genuine and I thought it was."

Alastor feels his black heart clench at how sad you sound and he feels guilty for making you feel that way. He feels even worse because you were right, it did START that way

Alastor hears Angel coo at you and peeks out to see the spider tilting your face up and petting you

"Yeah, that was a dick move on his part, but that doesn't explain why he's so moody now without you."

You let out a scoff that may or may not be unlike you and sit up, crossing your arms unhappily

"He's just upset that I won't play his game anymore."

Alastor shakes his head from his hiding spot, wanting to tell you that you're wrong and he misses you, that he wants to apologize for how he's been

That he wants to start over and take you on real dates, hold you again, show you off to everyone because you're his

But for once his voice fails him, and his body won't move, too ashamed of himself and too stubborn to admit the truth

Angel doesn't say anything more and instead changes the subject, the two of you pushing the uncomfortable atmosphere aside

Alastor grips his staff tightly and continues to his radio tower, knowing that eventually he'll need to talk with you

He can hardly stand to know that you think that he never felt anything for you when that's so far from the truth

Alastor just needs to find a way to get you to talk to him again so he can explain

And hopefully you'll at the very least forgive him

What he isn't factoring into the equation is Vox though, Vox who still hasn't given up on you and has been paying very close attention to you and Alastor these last few weeks

Now that you seem to hate Alastor just as much as he does, surely you'll leave that hotel and come join VoxTek like he's been begging you to do now

And maybe you'll take him up on his date

Is this enough ANGST FOR Y'ALL?!?!?!

Part Two:

[coeluvr]

How I see it, to get a idea of why Vincent's route, we just got to look at his close friend and counterpart Helios as a comparison.

With Helios, we have someone who was born/raised with a kindness similar to his mother and who, fortunately, was not influenced much by Luceris to see MC in a cruel light. He's felt awkward around them because, frankly, the whole situation around MC is awkward, especially because it heavily involves his father. But there was never anything fueled by hatred and while he has been conflicted because he loves his dad, it hasn't stopped him from seeing how unfair and messed up everything has been for MC, even if he may not have a indepth understanding of them. While it in no way makes the romance with him burn fast, it makes sense that Helios isn't as weighed down as Vincent both because of his general personality and his past interactions, while awkward, never went into cruel territory.

Then there's the man of the chapter hour, Vincent. From the moment he met them, he started off as a cruel bully to MC when they were already at the lowest and that behavior went on for a good number of years from the looks of it; right off the bat, the origins of Vincent's connection to MC can be described as hostile and unpleasant. Ikram having a hand in shaping that negative view of MC (a lot of negative things can be spoken about with Luceris, but he at the least didn't try to shape Helios' personal opinions on MC), his original admiration and yearning for his mother's approval, and his own close bond and protectiveness of Helios only further fueled his hatred of MC. He's certainly less hostile now, but he's still got years worth of keeping MC at arms length and, unlike Helios, has no motives at the moment to want to understand MC and their plight better. That's not something that will change overnight and will need active work from both ends to overcome the rough start to make a more positive connection to each other.

This was basically my long winded way of saying Vincent being a second most slowburn bond, romantic or platonic, makes sense considering that his history with MC was really bad. Also makes it very foreboding that despite Hunter's general friendliness towards MC, something of their own past makes them the most slowburn romantic bond MC can pursue. What dark secrets behind that smile...

I always really like to read what you have to say because you really do get me! 🙏

People always expect for Helios to be THE slowburn of the century, and in a way it is because it's so juicy and slow in its own way, but Helios is much more open and has practically no walls around himself. He's very approachable and it's almost easy for the heart to fall for him despite the history that surrounds them.

Vincent is the complete opposite, his walls are super high and he's very guarded and he makes that very clear. With MC, he's not approachable nor friendly nor does he even want to change that about himself because he doesn't want anything to do with MC.

It will take time to change that, it's slow as hell because they have to reach a point where they're at least friendly and then we can finally go to romance.

Aside from that, I find it hard to imagine that MC who suffered from Vincent's words in the past would be falling head over heels for him so soon when it's canon they don't particularly like him at this point because of the past. He will have to change his behavior around MC for there to be anything at all, so enjoy the process. 🫡

Hunter is a whole other matter but I do hope people enjoy all the routes hehe. 🫶

[helpfandom]

Yandere TAS! Riddler x Platonic Reader

Hcs under cut. If you're my bestie who told me to do this: <3

Reader just doesn't care in this one, they have been transformed by the Gotham-ite lifestyle of don't care, and as such, is a snarky little bitch to Riddler. Brat is in loose terms.

Why would he take interest you, well... He took interest because you were one of the few who didn't care for his antics, and were one of the fewer who could go toe to toe to him that weren't an enemy. Well, honestly, you didn't care about what he did and went on with your day, and with all that goes on in Gotham, how could you not?

The next part is that in order to get him to not interact with you, you would be a stupid little 'brat'. God, you were slightly insufferable to be around when Riddler would try to antagonize you. "Riddle me this, Riddle me that, why are you such a big 'brat'?"

He's definitely hacked into cameras to watch you interact with people, and once he found out that you interact with people differently than him, he takes it to heart, but in the way that he finds delight in you being a 'brat' to him. He notices that you only are that way to him, If you're only a brat to him, surely that means you're comfortable with him! ...Right?

Despite being 'super intelligent', Riddler is quite unperceptive about the fact that Reader dislikes/hates him. To you, this is just some weirdo on the street who likes to bombard people with riddles and take over Wall street for revenge. But soon you start to notice that he attacks more towards places you go to frequently and even people who, to your knowledge, haven't interacted or offended him. Of course, to him, interacting with his kid is a major offense, so he attacks your parents and friends, even a couple teachers who he thinks aren't teaching you well enough. "My, My, You simply don't have the brains for teaching my dear adolescent, perhaps I should remove it? Hmm?"

Because Reader can go 'toe to toe' with him [most of his riddles have multiple answers that he doesn't realize and when Reader points them out, he takes that as a sign of intelligence, and Reader being able to keep up with his 'genius'], he assumes that Reader has intelligence that can only match his, and as such, he must fuel this potential intelligence. [He means adopt you].

He definitely tries to kidnap you a lot, but with how much he has done schemes related to you, Batman (and maybe Robin if you're friends) already know and stop him.

Although, if he were to kidnap you, he would set up cameras everywhere THAT DOESN'T INTRUDE ON PRIVATE SPACE. So nothing in your bedroom or the bathroom. Everywhere else is free game though. Escape is possible, but unlikely, because of his many cameras and intelligence.

Although, he would fake the idea of an escape in order to test your intelligence, he would put a series of puzzles (Not riddles) and if you solve them all, he congratulates you. He finds a small bit of selfish pleasure in watching you fail to escape, and he thinks that escaping is a game for him, a fun thing for you to challenge his brain.

Absolutely has no idea how to take care of a kid though, so you're screwed if you're super young and don't know how to take care of yourself.

"Listen well, my dear adolescent. I will act as your father figure now. The rest of the society is too,, unintelligent to take care of minds like our own. I will hone your mind until we create father/kid pair the world has never seen!"

"Bro literally, I don't care, your riddles are stupid. Shut up."

"Oh, how I enjoy our banter."

[jinxthejubilee]

Hey there!! I’m come here as soon as i saw that you write nd draw for Villain recruiters bc there is not enough writes of the babies,,so, i remember seeing on a post (don’t really remember if it was yours or if it was other person) a headcanon that said “Malfie has a soft spot for children” and that make me think about how would the other recruiters be with children (platonic ofc), could you write some headcanons abt it? Whatever makes you feel comfortable!

First of all, thank you so much! I'm also glad that you've enjoyed my work so far! Second, I'm not quite sure if I headcanoned that or not, BUT! It sounds too cute to not write about.

So, in honor of your ask, let's get into the cuteness!

The Villain Recruiters with Children

Apple Poison 🍎

Before his inevitable character development, Apple kept his distance from children whilst on the job.

He didn't hate children, but his aloof nature definitely gave an ominous vibe towards guests. Though his politeness and bluntness were, somehow, what drove kids to Apple.

As his icy exterior melts away, Apple begins to indulge in the children's games, silly requests, or just them asking for company.

This was made possible thanks to his crazy, vibrant coworkers who became a family. Especially Pretty Scar, who, in all her annoyance, helped train Apple to adjust to children's behavior. He's dealt with the hyena girl's shenanigans on a regular basis, dealing with normal children is a cakewalk compared to her.

Jack Heart ❤️

Oh, Jack loves these little buggers!

Entertaining the kids during the stage shows is the highlight of his day. The laughter, the cheers, the excitement! It practically fuels him with joy and the strength to keep performing.

Jack adores children! He'll play tricks and pranks to make them laugh. He doesn't mind babies either! If they start crying, he'll make goofy faces or dance to help them smile again.

Just a warning, though, chaos always follows Jack wherever he goes, being from Wonderland and all, so if he somehow ends up babysitting, know that your house will end up burning down.

Malfi (Malfie) 🪞

Malfi's not super into kids, but he enjoys their company more than Apple.

He's more than willing to show himself in all of his handsome glory off anytime for them, but he's not used to all of affection they tend to give him. They ruin his hair!

He does have a soft spot for them, though. They may ruffle his feathers from time to time, but he can't bring himself to dislike them at all.

Malfi had a difficult childhood, on account of his parents following nature's guidelines in throwing him out of the nest because they deemed him as "weak." He never had anyone to look up to, other than Maleficent, and his days before her were quite lonely.

Beauty and childhood innocence are sacred to Malfi, so if he can brighten up a kids' day with his gorgeous self, whatever happens is worth it.

Eight Foot Joe 🐙

Joe's not the biggest fan of kids, nor does he have the energy to deal with them.

Before he became more socialible, he would do everything he possibly could to get away from the kids.

If someone, particularly a little girl, is wearing an Ariel costume, Joe will scream at them to try and get them to go away. It's not the kid's fault, he just has trauma surrounding the royal family and Ursula back at home.

Eventually, Joe will realize that making a decent impression on the public is part of his job, so he'll get used to it. Again, he's very socially awkward, so interacting with anyone, let alone children, will take some getting used to.

That "I have no idea what to do" phase will fade soon enough. He'll accept children in a very "tired uncle" way.

Mr. Dalmatia 🐾

Dalma is surprisingly good with kids despite his slight prissiness.

Dalmatians themselves are a very energetic and active breed, so most kids enjoy having the dog recruiter around.

He may get scolded for running around like a dog in his human form, but no one can or really cares to stop him. By playing with the kids, he's technically still doing his job, so why bother?

On some days he will be more irritated than usual, like if the babies are too loud, his coat gets ruined, or is just having an off day, but other than that, bring them over!

Pretty Scar (Mzuri) ✨️

Children are adorable, and so is Mzuri, so of course, she loves kids to pieces!

Being a hyena and all, she's used to interacting with dozens of kids at the same time. Playtime is funtime, so long as her hair, dress, or makeup don't get ruined.

While her colleagues might find her obnoxious, she finds solace in the fact that the kids like her, so that's more than enough!

Ms. Hades 🔥

As the designated mom of the group, Ms. Hades is quite the expert at dealing with children responsibly.

She may not understand everything, given that she's spent all of her immortal life in the Underworld and heard all kinds of stories about betrayal, family murder, and massive family drama from Olympus, but upon realizing that their world is massively different than hers, she understands soon enough.

Sometimes, she'll spot children and their parents having fun and doing family things, and eventually, she gets a better understanding of human life and culture.

She becomes more friendly and hospitable towards the kids, and while she's still fairly strict with rough housing, she won't get too heated over it.

Veil 🔔

Veil was once incredibly uncomfortable towards children while she was still in France. Her childhood was full of abuse and neglect, and she found refuge in the church with the infamous Claude Frollo. All of this put together made her socially inept outside of her normal duties.

Despite that, however, working with the recruiters and talking to staff and customers has improved her social skills. She's even found that children are far easier to talk to once she grew to understand them.

Her singing voice often puts fussy babies or rambunctious youngsters to sleep, much to the parent's delight. The praise she earns for it sends her over the moon with joy.

Lady Hock (Hook) 🪝

Ah, the suave and adventurous pirate lady! A lover of the seas and of boisterous little tykes!

Similarly to Malfi, Hock wishes to protect the innocence and wonder of children. As such, she will grant the desires of any child who asks of her, whether their requests be sword fighting on the roof or singing sea shanties on stage.

Faja (Farja) 🌹

As much as Faja likes kids and their enjoyment of her magic tricks, she's still the hothead of the group. Patience is most definitely not her virtue.

Babies crying can get on her nerves real fast, and she doesn't have Ms. Hades' calm and collected nature, or Jack's funnyman persona, to help her out. But since she's around kids a lot (again, this is Disneyland), she gets more used to it. It still annoys her, though.

Faja will make the kids laugh, unintentionally, when her spells backfire, and she'll either be furious with them seemingly making fun of her for it, or she'll droop down like her flower in defeat.

But! If the spell, by some miracle, actually works and the kids applaud or demand an encore, Faja will be more than happy to oblige.

She may be more of a"spunky aunt" type than a "mom" type, but that doesn't mean she won't get all sappy when the kids say that they love or that she's their favorite out of all the recruiters. She'll just start bawling.

[smilesrobotlover]

Shipping Game!

TP Link and....

1. Midna

2. Ilia

3. Zelda

4. Hena

Ok. Fun fact about me: any ship that involved Midna and Link that isn’t midlink I don’t like 💀 I am a wee bit childish but I just love them too much to ship them with others lol

ANYWAYS. Midlink. Yes. Absolutely my favorite ship of all time. So like… funny story, I HATED them in the beginning. I thought it was weird I was like “oh this makes no sense. This is dumb. Peopl are just shipping them together ONLY cuz they interact 🙄” but then I saw really good fanart of midlink and saw their dynamic and I saw many gifs from the game that I hadn’t seen before and I realized how much chemistry there was between the two of them and I just fell in love. I was also digging tall girlfriend and short boyfriend a lot and they fueled me. Just… their canon interactions is so tender and so sweet and they clearly care about each other so much?? And you can see it as platonic or romantic which is great cuz that means that their relationship is built on friendship first and foremost! And that is so much more special to me than two characters just falling in love out of nowhere. You see Link basically kill her with kindness and AUGH SHABSSJSBAKBAKABAKAAKAK THEIR INTERACTIONS HAAHVSWHWHKSSBKSJSKSK. I love them sm. You can see the way they work together and interact that there’s just so much LOVE. And then the end. Oh my goodness. Link holding her after she used the fused shadows, link running to her when she was yeeted away during puppet Zelda’s fight, their freaking grins at each other before beast Ganon battle, Link reaching for her before she teleports him away so she can fight Ganondorf herself, Link’s face when he believed she was killed by Ganondorf, Link running to her when he saw her alive with the light spirits, his FACE when he saw her true form and he was like “holy nuts you’re so hot”, and Midna’s flirting with him in the end and the romantic music AAHHAHAJABSKSSJKFBFJDJEKDBD TEJEBSLSJSJSOSJSN IM GOING FERAL JUST THINKINF ABOUT IT GUYS I LOVE MIDLINK MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF AAAAAAAGH

Ok. Phew… anyways… illink. I hate it. So so much. And that’s cuz I do not like Illia as a character. She’s too cliche and boring to me, while simultaneously being annoying. There’s nothing to her for me; I feel like I’ve seen her character ten thousand times before. I know people love her and I saw a hostile post about her haters once but it doesn’t matter. I don’t like her. And so I don’t ship her with Link… cuz any character I don’t like, I don’t ship with characters I do like. And I don’t feel any chemistry with them? I like the idea that Link felt pressured to be with her cuz he just really didn’t love her romantically you know? Just cuz you interact with the gender you like doesn’t really mean you’ll fall for them immediately. It’s just not how it works. Small tangent but I’ll leave it alone. I hate it.

Tp zelink is def one of my least favorite zelinks lol. They have NO chemistry. Sure people can like… try to justify it, but overall there’s nothing there. I overall am growing out of love for zelink in general? I hate the idea of soulmates and them HAVING to be together only cuz they’re link and Zelda. Just not a fan. I get how people love it but I don’t like it. They never even converse with each other honestly, and they give each other a very awkward look cuz it was the first time they’ve been alone with Link as a Hylian lmao. I also didn’t really like tp Zelda that much cuz…. I didn’t find her very interesting? And cuz I didn’t like the zelink ship I just didn’t like her? But after exploring her character more in love at twilight I’ve grown to greatly appreciate her. Just wish she was explored more in game (tho they probably would’ve given her an extremely generic personality so it’s probably for the best).

I had to look up Hena cuz I forgor who she was (I assumed she was that cute fisherwoman and she is :)) again, I’m more of a midlink loser so any other ship I don’t vibe with. But I don’t HATE it. I’ve actually never seen this ship before, but it’s definitely charming in its own way! I just really love Hena. She’s a very fun character very different from her other siblings and she’s super cute and pretty so like… yeah I’m not fully against it unlike illink and zelink lol.

[carapise]

platonic

“Why don't we just… like, cuddle”

The daggers his best friend stared into him were searing, not even answering, just making it evident this is not a question that should be asked right here right now.

Davie shook his head, a little too tipsy to process how bad of an idea this could be “nah, don't give me that, you get dumped, you come here, and we get drunk sad. You always grab that fucking pillow” they gesture in the general direction of the offending house item, failing to keep a steady finger pointed at it “and you cry, and I'm fuckin sick of leavin you alone like that.”

Richie looks up at him like he's about to cry “dude, I just wanted some company and your shoving this gay shit on me” he says, already shrinking into himself while his glare hardens

“But you could try!” shouting at the much louder then intended, but not slowing down “you know if fucking care about you man! I just don't want you to…. Hurt so much” slowing down as he focuses enough to hear the sobbing “oh, uh, s-sorry, I'm… ill go” 

As Davie gets up to leave, he try's to shove off quickly, but feels a hand wrap around his wrist and yank him back. When he turns he sees richies heartbroken expression, setting his nerves on fire “what!” davie spits out before he can think. Shit, not calm, oh he scurried away “fuck, shit no sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I'll stay ill stay” slowly lowering himself onto the couch. Richie briefly looks annoyed at the soft tone, but as he looks at his friend, eyes filled with good intentions, his already unstable brain state just can't maintain any efforts to look macho or not needing the company and kind words

They both don't know what to do. They both sit in silence, simply staring, waiting for the first word. Richie fights every instinct, every ounce of masculine pride to inch closer. Davie, still a little drunk, scoots closer, raising an arm, giving him the room. And, after a time that feels like it should be excruciating, he lets Davie wrap around him.

It's warm. Despite the two never having touched its strangely… familiar. Of course Davie would struggle until he simply wraps his arms around richies waist, letting their forms simply melt into each other. Of course Richie would press too hard into Davie's chest, until he realizes and simply lets himself be held. 

They both end up crying, so close Richie's honest sobbing, and worried words make Davies own heart ache. Even so his words don't get any less kind. Simple responses, words of solidarity, minor praise, by the time he starts unconsciously running his hands through Richie's hair, neither truly care about the implications or possible interpretations. They both seek familiarity and comfort in one another, friends or not, they simply know the other doesn't worry how this moment could be viewed anymore

It's about an hour before another word, not fueled by sheer sadness or need for comfort can be said. “Are we… still friends?”

Davie speaks up first, Richie still unable to think straight “probably. I mean, girls do this shit and come out friends after” he says, pulling apart a knot in Richie's hair, his fidgeting getting the better of him by this point

Richies never been in this position before. He's come close, one of his previous girlfriends tending to hug him harder, making him feel a bit more small in her grip. But here he's fully enveloped, letting Davie rub circles into his back, being genuinely taken care of by his best friend. He doesn't want to admit it but…. “This is.. really nice”. He closes his eyes, finally able to actually able to savor the feeling of intimacy.

Davie grins “fuckin told ya, I'm the cuddle master” to which Richie ruthlessly makes fun of him, to which Davie grumbles, until one of them says they should watch pacific rim again, and they both spend the night eating ice cream, pizza and complaining about relationships. Davie doesn't want to leave Richie alone, richie doesn't want to admit he likes being taken care of. It's the same interaction they've had dozens of times before, and yet this time they both go to sleep, admittedly drunk, but happy in each other's arms.

--- 

It's about three months since that day, and they haven't exactly stopped cuddling. It took a few days, Richie insisting it was ‘because i was drunk’, but re-bridging that gap more then a few times on his own, davie more then happy to provide. Each week that passed, the pair grew closer, spending more time together and exactly one thing bothered both of them.

They were both kind of hoping they'd develop feelings but it just stayed right where it was. Despite that they still wanted more of the others time. They both had a genuine, casual, intimate relationship. Strangely they thought it would be the other that would break the silence

Richie thought Davie had been harboring feelings from the start, dreading the moment he would break the silence. He couldn't read guys because. despite it being counter to his personality, he genuinely had wondered if he was gay after that encounter, and had explored the idea in his head, but nothing, no spark no desire. the idea of turning down Davie because he was just straight genuinely hurt to think about.

Davie was worried, with how close Richie got, the noises he sometimes made and how often he would get clingy with his girlfriends, he was going to have to turn down the love sick puppy, and wouldn't be there to take care of him after, a genuinely heartbreaking thought.

But they simply got closer, neither broke the ice, neither popped the question. They cared for each other, they gave for each other, and they both wanted the best for the other. Surprisingly, it was the more weak willed of the pair that questioned it out loud

“Are we…” Richie struggles out, not sure how to phrase this “are we like…. Friend dating? Is there a word for that”

Davie nearly choked on his coffee. They were hanging around kitchen, wasting time like this becoming a daily occurrence. this time Richie decided to have stuck around for a week again, second time in a row “well I um… I guess. So, just to put it in the air, because both of us could drag this on for another fucking six months, not a love thing?” 

The collective release of tension was comparable to a steel cable snapping in half. Richie genuinely started laughing, Davie joining in after a moment “holy shit!” Richie managed to spit between laughs “oh thank fuck, I get to keep just hanging. Oh my God, never thought I'd be glad to have more well… this kind of shit. Fuck!” 

Davie managed to start talking, recovering from the wheezing laughs he'd gotten near the end “your a fucking asshole, oh my God. I thought about how to turn you down a hundred times. Holy shit, tell me sooner next time, Kay, save me a bunch of headaches” and they both just spent a moment, breathing the air, drinking coffee, listening to the quiet sounds of the house as the few remaining chuckles escaped with wayward breaths.

“I'm cooking tonight! Making ribs, your not stopping me!” Richie shouted, grabbing his keys and rushing to the door. Davie grumbles something about not needing to the trouble for him, but is touched regardless by the gesture.

“Wonder if asking him to move in would be too much trouble” he says, quietly to himself “waste of gas for him to leave”

[fangirltothefullest]

“Morality don’t lie to him.” <-- another example of Virgil hating lies. Janus what did you do to him?

Ah! Episode 9 and Logan is standing much more rigid. Interesting- and he is agreeing with Roman too.

“We’ll need someone to practice on” “But who?” “Each other...?”

Also Logan’s little “Salutations” with the glasses raise is so damned cute.

I love them being like how would we secure a date with Valerie and Virgil is like DON’T TRY because they all know he’s gay lol. That’s secretly the real reason it won’t work. /jk

Also none of them know how to talk to a woman and it’s fucking hilarious.

“Do you like romantic outings-” *side-eyes roman*

Virgil’s realistic Valerie while she otherwise is an emotionless or overacting prop is amusing

OOOH OH OH I FORGOT! Patton’s idea is to give someone a drawing to show that he loves them AND AND THEN HE GIVES VIRGIL THE CARD LATER TTwTT

“???not talk about me???” <-- ego confusion activate

Roman knowing Spanish and proving the sides know things thomas doesn’t is so much fanfic fuel.

Shuts down Logan tally again when he excitedly tries to talk about blood diamonds. Poor guy can’t share his knowledge. In fairness Roman’s dreams keep being crushed so.....

Virgil making a point for the 5672365485684th time.

Patton playing Pattycake <-- adhd tally

Episode 9 and Logan smiles and nods happily!!

Virgil’s “Low stakes platonic love” <--- yes virgil yes

Patton’s immediate devoted love speech

Logan’s Very Hard to Compute speech

Roman’s underhanded compliment

“Hot Topic” “Aw you think I’m hot.” <--- that’s so gay Virgil <3

Allowing Virgil to not have to say out loud and letting it be implied because it’s A Lot to put him on the spot.

First moment of logan bluntly asking for interactions with less feelings.

It’s all Patton’s fault- the little finger fwip with the ding was him teleporting roman next to virgil lol and logan’s “nice one”.

lol new post who dis?

Anyways I too despise carrots thomathy.

“SUPER!” *thomas can’t talk* “-CALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!*

Gods the ADHD is strong in Roman

ACTUALLY on the subject of music again-

it’s not always who should be in focus or who is fighting for control of the idea- I think it’s also which person Thomas is listening to or which idea is more interesting at the time in addition to whoever’s influence is most prominent in the moment. Take episode 5- when Thomas becomes intrigued by the darker side of disney Roman’s music is cut entirely even with their back and forth. The music does not cut until Virgil is like “really?” because they are arguing and THEN,  Patton’s peacemaking music kicks in when Thomas talks about compromising. That’s FASCINATING to watch the influence- we associate Patton with peacekeeping and moral problem solving even when he is not there just by thematic music choice AAAAHHHHHH And and and! The fact that they’re debating the MORALS of each disney movie, of COURSE he’s listening in and vbery much likely guiding this whole discussion from the background which is a really cool idea.

“And they can get what they want by lying and deceiving their way right into the castle and gettin the princess” <— Virgil, your distrust of Deceit is showing and it’s only episode 5.

[cirilee]

You mentioned the potential of interactions between Predaking and Starscream, and I love this idea so much; starting with all the comedy fuel coming with a deity forced to inhabit a mortal body, even one strong and full of life, and finishing with angsty gradual progress towards amicable relationship.

I can totally see interactions like Predaking saying "Why are you so afraid? You are where you wanted to be, or had I heard you what you said to Megatron wrong?" And Starscream being at a loss for words for a little while (because he feels like he's going through all five stages of grief all at once) before responding in a defeated way "of course, you're basically a god, you wouldn't understand." before walking away, shaking head.

(Also, the mental image of Starscream being pulled into a dragon cuddle pile gives me joy. Especially if two out of three predacons end up at least a little beefier than Starscream. Man gets more platonic cuddles than he ever bargained for. And Megatron's face once he realises he now has four barely controllable cats in dtagon bodies must've been priceless)

!!!!!! yes YES give me more omg !!!

OHHhhh Instead of Predaking and Starscream growing to hate each other, they're slowly start to understand each others' plight?! 😩🥺 And they're talking and relating to each other?😭❤️

YES

one of the things i've learnt is, the most fun thing to do with characters and have them be friends with other characters

Starscream in a cuddle pile ...🥺🥺🥺

After he redeems himself and meets up with autobot aligned KO and BD again, they're just super suprised how much wingspeak he can now speak :'D

[pricemarshfield]

oh, captain, let’s make a deal

A Fabian/Zelda (Donocaster? i don’t know) sparring fic. No shippy stuff, could be interpreted as platonic. Read on AO3 here.

Zelda's had a lot of practice fighting one-on-one with enemies that are taller than her. Fabian's faster than Porter is, though, better at dodging, taking the momentum of her attacks and using it against her. He's also got magic for an added layer of unpredictability.

It's kind of exhilarating; she can fully focus on the fight without Porter's commentary on what she needs to do next time, without worrying about her rage shredding anyone. (The room's got a static gentle repose effect built into it, and Ostentatia's got plenty of revivify diamonds if the worst happens. They've had this place set up since Yelle's foraging-gone-wrong.)

Zelda doesn't go to the Academy anymore, but it's no excuse to let up on training, so when Fabian takes one of her strikes and parries it to brush a blow against her shoulder, she lets it fuel her rage, leaps into the air, and kicks off one of the walls to launch herself at him, both daggers first.

He's fast, but she's faster, and she knows the fight's won when Fabian drops his sword.

Zelda drops out of rage and takes a few steps back. "Sorry."

"Part of sparring!" Fabian says, waving it off. "I have a health potion. Do you need one?"

Zelda assesses herself. "Not really?"

The Fabian she'd ever-so-briefly interacted with before their spring break would've taken offense at that, but he just laughs and downs the potion, wounds closing. "How do you get that fast? Do you have a haste enchantment?"

"Uh, eagle totem," she says, gesturing to a little eagle charm her mom had gotten her. He nods. "Sort of a, uh, spiritual thing?" It comes out like a question when she hadn't intended for it to, but this is still more than she'd expected to be speaking post-fight.

"I wasn't prepared for it," he says.

"Well, your magic sword was a surprise," she says. "I barely dodged the fire because I was only looking to avoid the blade. You should--" Her mouth shuts with an audible click. What, she's gonna give advice to him? They didn't even have any classes together, he's not even a barbarian. "Never mind. Sorry."

"No, tell me," he says. It doesn't sound confrontational, but outside of her rage, him having more than a foot on her has gone from something she needs to account for and possibly exploit to intimidating. "You beat me, I might as well learn."

He's not meeting her eyes when he says it. That makes it easier to speak up again. "You fight in a way that's really, like. Showy. Like a dance. It would probably benefit you to use that as a distraction and then attack, quick and fast and with as much behind it as possible. They probably won't be ready for that."

"That's actually not a bad idea," Fabian says. "Thank you. Do people with the eagle totem fly, or am I misremembering that?"

"Not yet," she says. Sometimes when she jumps into the air she feels like she'll stay there if she just tries, but she knows if she gets ahead of herself, the rage will start to burn her up from the inside out. Also, falling would be super embarrassing and she'd have to run away into the woods to never be seen again. "One day. I think."

Fabian doesn't push her to talk further, which is good. She puts in one headphone to see if he'll add anything else or if she's good to go. She didn't have a bad time or anything, sparring's always fun, it's just--social interaction. And all.

"Same time next week?" Fabian asks. "You're a far better sparring partner than Gorgug. I know him too well."

"Oh!" Zelda says. She actually really likes sparring with all the other Maidens, but...yeah, this is more unexpected. Actual learning opportunity. She's still learning new moves, not just practicing the ones she already knows. "Sure. Maybe. We might be out of Spyre."

"You mean Solace?"

"No," she says, staring down at her hooves until she catches herself doing it and looks back up. "Interplanar stuff."

Fabian looks impressed and jealous in equal measure; she hits play on her music, even with only the one headphone in. "I think I might ask the Bad Kids to do our GED, then, sounds exciting."

Their parties are still rivals, technically, and she knows her girls will hype her up no matter how much what this is does freak her out, so she adds, "Well, we still did it first." She follows up by bolting out of there as fast as she physically can, even jumping up to the rooftops to get a little more distance, but it's not a terrible line? Probably?

When she glances back, he's smiling.

[megumixtsumiki]

Idk why megumi and tsumiki make sense idk why?

I = confused.

... As in: 

You agree that they make sense but don’t know how to put it into words?

Or you are wondering why people like them and don’t see how it makes sense to us?

Hopefully it’s the former: 

Warning! manga spoilers ahead.

For me, it’s the idea that they are so familiar with each other because they grew up together. They chose each other as family. 

Since they did not have a parental figure looking after them in the traditional sense of the word, I headcanon they had to make up what it means to be a “sister” and “brother” to each other. 

So the way I see it, they made up their own definition of the word to represent their closeness and/or to define their bond.

Basically, in my brain, Megumi and Tsumiki are platonic and romantic soulmates.

Megumi and Tsumiki are not blood related, so I also headcanon that, on top of having said soulful bond, as they grew up and the hormones started raging (because they are teenagers probably living without adult supervision), they could have realized that they see each other as more than brother and sister.

I even wrote a fic about this headcanon that needs to be heavily edited because #perfectionism 🤓. You can read it on ao3 or somewhere in this blog’s feed if you are up for it.

Anyways, that’s my headcanon of what we don’t see because Gege does not show them interacting together very much at all.

What he does show is that Megumi thinks of her when he is asked about his type of woman. I know the fandom loves to interpret this differently but I don’t understand why anyone would think of a sibling first when asked about his type.

Gege also shows that Megumi is ferociously trying to protect Tsumiki at all costs at the end of the origin of obedience arc and during the culling game arc.

To me it also looks like Megumi pines for Tsumiki like a bro who got broken up with for being a dick... Because he was a dick to Tsumiki and he knows it.

He totally deserved having that strawberry milk thrown at him...

Actually, this whole scene is so... idk. It reminds me of a boyfriend and girlfriend who had an argument off-camera.

The atmosphere seems to be heavy with everything that is not said between them... and that promise he made to her not to fight again? That moment is fuel for headcanon fanfic material 😂.

That + his internal monologues about her seem to be full of regret about having lost the one person who had chosen him in a world that is otherwise cruel in his eyes.

Not to mention the panels where he thinks of her and remembers her look like straight out of a shojo manga.

There’s so much beauty and feminine energy in this panel. It’s very emotional and to me it speaks to how Megumi feels when he thinks of Tsumiki. 

Tsumiki makes Megumi feel beautiful feelings. 

Remember... they’re teenagers. 

I’m not trying to sexualize anyone, I just remember what I was like at their age and whoa! Hormones!

So to me, all of this feels very much like “hmmm what is going on here? what is Gege telling us without actually coming out and saying it?” 🤔🤔🤔

To be honest, I think this is one of those times when Gege is trolling the fandom (the way I feel I am being trolled by this ask). Since he’s already shown us Ui Ui’s unabashed obsession with his sister, Mei Mei, I have the feeling that Gege is into the siscon trope.

Speaking of the siscon trope, Megumi actually reminds me a lot of a couple of other siscon characters: Tanizaki Junichiro (Bungou Stray Dogs) and Fuwa Mahiro (Zetsuou no Tempest).

Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen/read either of these anime/manga:

Mahiro spent so much time denying his feelings and attraction for his step-sister, Aika, that when she dies, he goes looking after her killer to exact vengeance since this is the only way he can come to terms with having lost her and having denied how he felt towards her

Junichiro is up front about how the way he loves his sister, Naomi, is above morality. It is also heavily implied that there is more going on between them than just your usual “sibling” relationship. And don’t you dare mess with Naomi because Junichiro is ferocious, just like Mahiro and Megumi, when it comes to protecting his sister from harm

So... basically that’s why megumiki makes sense to me 😂.

If you meant the latter question:

um... I mean. That’s cool, you don’t have to get it :)

But thank you for asking if you meant the latter because I loved writing this and it energized me after a long week of non-stop work 😂.

Seriously though. I cannot help the word vomit. 

Like I know I shouldn’t apologize but I can’t help but feel like you were probably looking for a “I totally agree with you” kind of answer 😂 and instead got word vomit bahaha.

Anyways. Thanks for the ask! 

People, please send me any megumiki you happen to find. I am officially neglecting my duties because I’m totally brain rotting about another OTP right now 😂.

[softrozene]

Ace, Kid, Law: Crushing Headcanons

@trxsmaii​ requested: Hey! May I request a HC for Kid, Law, and Ace where they have a crush on fem!reader who is a strawhat crew? Thank you!❣️

God- I love this request so thank you for entrusting me with it! This was just overall cute and fun to do! To add to the fluff- I gave Reader more of a calm/gentle personality (that way Luffy can be like ‘Nah- she’s my friend- The one that actually lets me take food off her plate so you can’t have her).

Ace, Kid, Law x Female Reader

Warnings: Fluff, comedy- That is pretty much it. Oh- These are on the long side since they also turned out more like scenarios?

Words: 1400

Portgas D. Ace-

Chances are- He knew you before you joined Luffy’s crew

He was immediately smitten whether it be from your appearance or your personality- Something drove him to you, but he could not act on it (do to his self-esteem)

So that became an immediate one-sided crush

However- The chances of seeing you again AND in his brother’s crew

This has to be fate

It has to be some sort of opportunity

Whether he will come back or not after his quest to find “that” man he needs to tell you he likes you to live up to living his life with no regrets

….That proves to be difficult when his brother appears to be glued to your side

And it is obvious his brother does not like you as he does- He sees the platonic love between you but- Luffy is always near you and that proves difficult to get you alone to confess

But seeing you interact with his brother- It fills his heart up with love

You genuinely care for others and you do not mind when Luffy straight-up takes your food without asking (that is why he sits next to you during mealtimes)

But whenever Luffy is not glued to your side, someone else is

You just radiate a warmth like no other and Ace really admires that- He just wishes he can touch that warmth by himself without someone hovering over you

Thanks to your caring personality you do notice when Ace becomes a bit more irritated than usual

He does not necessarily take it out on others- It is more like pouting and you find that adorable and since you consider Ace a long-time friend you do not hesitate to excuse yourself with whoever is by your side to go talk to the man. You after all care for him and he holds a special place in your heart like no other- He leaves a burning impression that you adore

“What’s on your mind, Ace?” You ask

Not knowing when he will get another moment or before anyone can ruin this one, he just blurts out “I really, really, like you (Name). You’re on my mind all the time and I just needed you to know before I continue my adventure.”

The smile that lights up your face leaves him breathless and as you are ready to reply- And from the looks of it- Return his feelings, a hand comes to knock him out

“Nami told me about your plans! You can’t crush my friend, Ace! She is strong!” Luffy ruins the moment.

Of course, he ruins the moment

You know what?

Ace is okay with that since he was able to see your lovely face light up with happiness and amusement at Luffy’s misunderstanding

Eustass Kid-

Kid probably realizes he likes you after he gets to meet you at Sabaody

He had been keeping tabs of all the Supernovas and you were such a pretty face with a big bounty that he had to keep more important tabs on you (but neglected to realize you were a part of Luffy’s crew)

“Of course, she had to be a part of his crew”

In other words, Kid had absolutely no idea that his newfound crush was a part of Luffy’s crew

He does not like it one bit

And even better he probably does not realize he is crushing and hard just because he knows you are powerful based on your bounty

Though- The second he gets the pleasure to meet you on the island- It makes him realize how deep his feelings are really involved

He has not experienced anything like it (probably aside from lust). These mushy feelings make him want to hurl but more importantly- Get you to join his crew to calm the storm in his heart

He will be extra grumpy due to these mushy feelings

When you first speak to him- You do so in a way that makes his heart soar. He knows fully well that you are aware of who he is, how brutal he is, and even so, you treat him with kindness. No mockery hidden beneath

Seeing your genuine kindness makes his feelings worse and he is basically a jumbled man and highly jealous of Luffy

He will ask immediately that you join his crew

When you deny it- He does become harsher and asks for reasons on why-

“What could be so important in that stupid Straw Hat’s crew?”

Tell him it is the actual crew, and he will melt at your genuine love for them

God- Why can’t you join his crew? You would love his crew too. He was sure of it

If you continue to deny, he will go straight to the source- Your captain

He will demand a duel for you to which Luffy denies and he will then just pester Luffy and/or threaten to take you anyway

Luffy denies it all- “Pfft, you can try to take her, but she will always be my nakama” or “She can’t leave- Who will give me their food?”

Luffy does not mean for it to come out condescending but that is how Kid takes it and it fuels the fire to obtain you even more

Basically- He becomes bitter to Luffy and pleading to you- It is just a whole mess since he genuinely likes you and your calm heart

He even respects your loyalty to Straw Hat- but despite the answers he receives, he will still yearn for you

Trafalgar Law-

Law will admit that you caught his eye the second he saw your bounty

He will admit that you hold a beauty he has not quite seen but when he meets you- You completely screw him over- Not intentionally of course but in a way that he can’t recover from

Much like his alliance with Luffy- He has received many surprises but once he holds an actual conversation with you- He hates how fast his heart beats

He will admit you are pretty- That your personality is charming, but he will deny his crush on you until he deals with a certain someone

Until then he acts as he loathes you (even though he loves the conversations you share with him and even more that you do not take his bitterness to heart)

You still meet him with kindness after he treats you coldly and it surprises him

How can you be so sweet? How can you be so genuine?

Then it hits him- That is why you were in Straw Hat’s crew- Your Genuity

Once again, the Straw Hats manage to surprise the heck out of him and he falls harder the more he tries to deny his crush

Though he grows to love being around you and he eventually seeks you out when the others become too much for him to handle. Your calm and gentle personality being the perfect match to help with his burnout he receives from the others

Because he does get close to the Straw Hats though- It becomes inevitable to not get close to you- With the amount of stress that could kill a population on his shoulders, he longs for your gentle touch (he saw you petting Luffy’s hair and he almost saw red since he could not receive the same treatment) to ease the burden off his shoulder even for a minute

Then one night- He receives just that

He leans over against a table with you by his side and he just sighs heavily

You take that as a sign of needing comfort and before you could think to ask your fingers begin to thread into his hear and massage his scalp

He freezes- Confused from this sudden affection before he realizes- Holy mother of living life does this feel good- Straw Hat gets this special treatment all the time?!

You bet your butt he vows then and there to steal you away eventually- He does not care how long it takes he is too infatuated with you but he hates the thought of dealing with that stubborn Straw Hat

Even so- after he deals with that certain business in Dressrosa he will finally confess

And much like Ace’s scenario- Luffy overhears and misunderstands that Law is either trying to crush you or steal you away from him and despite their friendship, Luffy will say no <3

[pigeonsatdawn]

law school ep 15 (and solhwi overall)

gonna put in my two cents for the line that singlehandedly caused the solhwi nation to implode.

(apologies in advanced because my thoughts are too messy for me to neatly put it in a post but i want to say it anyway—also this is just the way i view solhwi so please don't come screaming at me if you disagree!)

i'm a diehard solhwi shipper and i love their relationship, and think they have one of the best relationships out there in the fictional world, and also definitely one of the healthiest. but to me, their relationship extends far beyond the romantic relationships we so often see portrayed in media.

kim beom said in one interview that this relationship between HJH and KS is kin to that of a soulmate relationship that's not necessarily romance, and i find myself agreeing with that notion. while soulmates are typically used to describe romantic partnerships, it doesn't necessarily have to start with romance. (many people have pointed this out in other posts so i won't go further down the fact that HJH x KS's relationship is a friends-to-lovers slow burn but you get me.)

but in fact, this bond between soulmates (or at least how i define it), in my opinion, is far beyond what we usually see in romance. as in, it's not just someone you like, but it's someone whose changed your life in a certain way. i know some may be averse to the idea of having to change for the one you love because loving is the notion of accepting someone in spite of the person's flaws, but what i mean is that when you love someone in this way, you want to change because of them. you see them, and they inspire you, and you grow in your own way. once again—growth is a very subjective idea, and even for HJH and KS we can see them grow in different directions—but we can clearly see how they have impacted each others' lives.

it's quite obvious, imo, how KS's life has been impacted by HJH's. she's,, not the "smartest" out there, and we can't deny that. we know she probably won't make it through law school if not for HJH's help. HJH is always there, a step ahead of KS, but he's not just being proud about it, instead opting to help her understand what the laws are and why they are the way they are, which KS especially needs, being a particularly empathic person. but we've also seen that HJH has helped KS beyond simply academics. he's always been there to protect her—almost all their interactions have proven that (the camera outside her house, the hungover soup, the switching seats—i think literally everything?..?..?.??). maybe she doesn't necessarily need protection, but surely thanks to his protection she's much better than she might've been without, especially knowing her terribly miserable life.

but i often wonder why HJH is so heart-eyes of KS of all people. i mean, i know love is love and sometimes you just catch feelings, but i believe there's more meaning behind their relationship than meets the eye. like you don't just look at someone so lovingly for it to be just a crush, y'know? the first reason that comes to mind is clearly simply KS's amicable personality. she definitely stands out: she's not that intelligent, struggling and barely surviving, but she has insane passion to pull through even despite truth attacks (like SJH saying she should reconsider her life decisions, saying that a chance of passing isn't something to be proud of, etc). she treats everything with such a positive outlook, and, well, KS is just an adorable human, so it's hard not to have a little crush her.

what makes KS stand out most, the core of her personality, is that she has hope, despite everything. she's been through shit because of her circumstances—left by her twin sister without a word, been in juvie, has no money to deal with it—you know, entire backstory. but instead she fights her weakness, even though she feel like it should've been her sister, even though she's not smart enough, because she has to do this. she keeps going, even though things keep turning out for the worse for her, holding hope when circumstances are most dire. but why? because she strives for justice. she doesn't want to be wronged. she wants the law to own up its mistakes, wants to make sure the law gets its own revenge. that's why she wants to work in law, yeah? and so she keeps fighting, even when hope seems lost.

okay but why did i mention this? because i think this is what HJH sees in KS. why? because this is what he needs.

HJH had lost hope. in an episode (i don't remember which), he mentioned he doesn't trust anyone, and it's obvious why: his uncle. it's the worst kind of betrayal that causes your ideals being burned down. he realized that even people who work in law can be corrupt, people who he thought he could trust above all others, people who seemed utterly good. and then he just begins to regard everyone with baseline amity, and no further. many have pointed out he doesn't have real friends (other than KS), even though he looks outgoing and friendly. it's not quite shown, but it must've been lonely. and a lonely fight, trying to prove that he will be a better prosecutor than his uncle was. and we know that HJH's nature as a person is to be calculating, objective, seeing things through facts and statistics; it's what makes him so intelligent. what that also makes him is realistic, and more often than not, that is almost equal to pessimistic—because reality just... sucks, as has been proven by the betrayal of his uncle. and further into the drama we see only more corrupt people in the business, so we certainly don't get out hopes fueled.

there's scarcely anyone in what we see who's actually pursuing law because they're passionate about the law, or if they are, they're not often very... human in doing it. examples: YJH, SJH, KSB are all very cold and indifferent types, people who really just come and do what they do, focus on studies (in the case of YJH, his teaching), and interactions with others are treated as "lesser". SJH and KSB in particular—they're good at the law, sure, but they seem to prioritize their position in law first and foremost. SJH and KSB don't hesitate to call out their losses, and even would rather not intervene for justice if it meant their position would be compromised. not that they're bad characters, not at all; i mentioned them simply to compare them to KS, who, despite not having the brains to do half the things she's supposed to do and earning herself nosebleeds everytime she tries, still does what she does for justice, passionately, hopefully, all for righteousness.

okay this was longer than i intended WHEW so i'll cut to the chase: long story short, HJH needs KS because KS gives him hope. hope of a humanity where people actually work in law and choose to fight for justice against all odds, even if the system itself is infiltrated by filth and corruption. KS is someone who, in her first lecture, was grilled the fuck out by Yangcrates, yet the first thing she does after she nearly throws her guts out is ask HJH whether he can tutor her. she does not ever lose hope, and that, truly, is what stands out to HJH, what he needs.

and KS needs HJH because he is her hope as well! hope by itself does no good if you can't actually do something about it, and KS knows this. HJH, despite seemingly just being someone to help her in her studies, is someone she needs if she wants to achieve her goals, if she wants to get back on the law the right way. which is why, in the end, KS and HJH are, while independent in their own way, dependent on each other in terms of their growth—KS gives HJH hope in humanity, HJH helps KS realize (make real) her hopes that would have been dreams if not for her.

oh my god i've rambled on this long without stating my point: THE DAMN LINE.

HJH saying he owes her makes sense in this light because, indeed, KS's positive outlook in everything keeps him going. it gives him a reason to keep wanting to work in law, because she is a reason to believe in goodness and justice, that there will be people who keep fighting for justice against all odds. he owes this to her—and perhaps that is why he goes all out to help her achieve that hope, perhaps that's why he goes out of his way to care for her. because they are each other's missing puzzle piece, the other half. soulmates.

sigh ok this was long ONE FINAL POINT. everyone has their own opinion on a solwhi ending, so i might as well chip in mine.

certainly, as a solhwi shipper, i want them to end up together. i believe they're really the best of soulmates, two people who just complement each other so well. but in the current timeline, them having a romantic relationship out of the blue would be,,, simply unnecessary, imo. they're still very much in the stage of friendship, and are both dealing with their own personal baggage, that shoving a romance would just take away the focus from their growth. i personally think even this platonic relationship is already a beautiful one, one that outshines many of the romances i've watched, even without having to flood everything under the romance light—which i think many can agree with me, seeing as how solhwi is shipped so much. i still want to see them end up together, though, so SEASON TWO LAW SCHOOL MANIFESTATION. please please please directors writers make it happen i am begging you. thank you.

sorry for this long ass post, thank you if you do read it and leave any thoughts! again this is just my opinion, you're free to let me know if you think differently or anything, or shoot me a message if you want to scream about solhwi or whatever i'm just solhwi brainrot 24/7 🤸🏻‍♀️

[verytiredblob]

My reviews on Manhwas

Alright so, recently I've began to fall into the great Manhwa hell, as if I didn't have enough fandoms.

But I neither have friends to chat about this with, nor a Discord chat where I can fanby about it, so I just decided to throw it in here.

These are both Manhwas I recommend and my opinions on them. If there are any spoilers, They will be striked through and in blue for anyone that wishes to avoid them (if anyone even reads this lol).

1. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass (악녀는 모래시계를 되돌린다)

Premise: Aria was a terrible person and was sentenced to dead by being beheaded. In her final moments, she discovers her step sister, Mielle, actually manipulated her during her entire life just so she could get Aria killed. She then is beheaded, and wakes up in the past, in her child body. So now, she must work to both survive and get her revenge on her sister.

Lovely story, and my first Manhwa. The art is simply stunning, and all the characters are very flashed out and developed. Aria (MC) is the pettiest person alive and I'm here for that.

Also, I noticed a trend where, even though the manhwa has "Villainess" in the title, the MC is usually a total angel. Well, not here. Aria is egotistical and a total Diva, she has her goals and one of them is her revenge and by all that is sacred she'll get it.

Mielle is a great villain, she has grown a lot in her own pettiness and tactics since she was a child, and I really like that. Also, watching her suffer for being a terrible person is delightful.

The Male Lead (Asher) is also really cool, I like how he's both witty and friendly, and how much he truly admires Aria and her achievements.

The side characters are also pretty good, and they get a lot of focus because of their interactions with the main cast.

Again, The art is S T U N N I N G. Look at this:

Literally all panels are drawn like this or better, I'm in love.

All in all, an awesome read, 10/10, I love this a lot.

2. The Monster Duchess And Contract Princess (괴물 공작가의 계약 공녀)

Premise: Leslie's life was terrible, and always centered on her big sister, Eli. After a failed attempt of her family to grant Eli her sister's skills and knowledge, Leslie searches for the feared "Monster Duchess" in an attempt to survive.

Another one with incredible art AND incredible characters. Leslie is an absolute angel, and seeing her grow as a person is awesome.

The gender envy I feel with the Duchess is unbearable, she's utterly perfect. And the entire family is so dotting and loving and sweet, my little grinch heart can't take it.

She's perfection, really.

The plot keeps getting more and more mysterious, and I'm here for it!

I love each of the main characters a lot, and even the villains are well done and fuel your hatred.

Also, Eli Sperado and her Dad can choke on those black flames for all eternity.

Another 10/10, although I must warn anyone that wishes to read this that the translations sometimes are very spotty and messy, so it can be a bit annoying.

3. I'll be the Matriarch in this Life (이번 생은 가주가 되겠습니)

Premise: Firentia was a girl that died in Korea in her past life, and was reborn into an influential family as the illegitimate daughter of the third son. Her life was pretty terrible, with in the end, her family ending up in poverty and disgrace because of her uncles and cousins, while she was exiled from the family. After another accident, she wakes up in her past, now with a goal: Become the Lombardi matriarch and stop the other family heirs from bringing it to ruin.

Awesome art and Awesome plot number 3! This is so good, genuinely. Firentia is such an awesome plotter, and her goals and actions are very well developed.

The Male Lead is my baby and I shall protect him, and the side characters? Utterly stunning.

The twins are the cutest fucking shit, seriously. Like, look at these two?? I'm dead. Although, all the children are very, veeery cute.

I like how Firentia subtly manipulates things around her to get what she wants. It's similar to Aria, but she's much more mature and knowledgeable, and has a much less petty goal.

Guess what? 10/10. Yeah, I know, I'm terrible at grading, sue me.

4. The Twins Siblings' New Life (쌍둥이 남매의 뉴라이프)

Premise: Arien and Arjen were a pair of twins that died in Korea, and were reborn again as twins and as the Emperor's illegitimate children. Now, with only each other to trust, they must do their best to survive.

My current obsession. I really like this one. The art is not on the same level of pure Awesome like the ones before, but it's pretty good nonetheless.

The plot is pretty nice, but I must warn you: DO NOT expect them to act like adults. Honestly, just forget they're meant to be reborn in this world. They're just normal children and that's it. They act like children, and they think like children. Honestly, I think the author just wanted to make this story about them as children and their producer went and said to make them reincarnates because that Isekai shit is popular nowadays (And to justify they having memories of their newborn days). Seriously, just ignore it, the experience reading will be much better.

Other than that, the story develops nicely. The characters are all very good and the plot is very mysterious. I am holding myself back to not spoil anything, aaaaa.

There is also only one another thing that disappoints me: Arien is very clearly the MC. The story is told by her eyes and we only know what Arjen thinks or feels when he says it 9 or by subtext). I really wish it was more balanced, because they're both different people and have different perspectives, and also I really like Arjen.

I have absolutely no idea where this plot is gonna go, and honestly? I like it. It's very rare when I don't know how things are gonna develop because of other stories, so it feels very fresh.

The brothers are freaking awesome. I was so scared they were going to hate the twins and be petty, because of other manhwas that are like that, but they're so loving and sweet?? All hail these idiots. Also, Daddy is the biggest dumbass of all, this poor clueless man.

An 8/10, because of the complaints above. Still a good read, and I really like it, even with it's defects.

4. I'm A Stepmother, But My Daughter Is Just Too Cute! (계모인데 딸이 너무 귀여워)

Premise: A seamstress dies of overwork in Korea, and wakes up in the body of Abigail, the vain Queen, and the evil stepmother to the princess Blanche. Yes, It's like she stepped into the world of Snow White, and she must now do her best to live and.. Dote on Blanche with toys and dresses as much as possible?

Again with the awesome art and nice plot. Why are there so many manga with awesome art?? I'm so envious.

May all hail this crispy, delicious art.

Abigail is a whole mood, and I enjoy how she is inserted into the life of someone who had already lived and had a reputation. Her actions baffle a lot of the characters, as do her motivations, and I'm here for it.

The King has also an amazing backstory that's very tragic and yikes. I enjoy it, really. Not something you see in men's backstories that much.

Also, I'm kinda saddened by the fact the MC and the king are bound to become an actual couple. They would be such good platonic friends stuck in a political marriage. I was robbed, y'all.

Abigail greatest ambition is to get to design a dress for Blanche and have her wear it, and you know what? Good for her! Sometimes, it's good to have an MC that is not plotting against world at large.

Also, her mirror? Verite is simply perfect, I love this guy. I non-jokingly ship him with Abigail more than her with the King.

Blanche is a sweetheart, she deserves to be in my "adopted children" wall.

For now it's more of a Slice of Life than anything? But I also don't know what happens in the novels, so I'm just going to wait.

For the current lack of a grater plot, this gets a 7/10. Still pretty good and entertaining, especially for when you just don't feel like trying to understand deep plots with lots of elements.

5. Beware of the Brothers! (그 오빠들을 조심해!)

Premise: Another one of those "I lived my life and then wake up in the past." Hari was adopted by this family after the death of their only daughter, and although her parents love her, her 3 older siblings very much don't. She lives a miserable life in their hands, and when it's the night before she is to get married and finally escape her brothers, she wakes up in the past, and has to deal with them all over again.

Another nice art one, and the background characters are very nice, as is the MC.

But for me, it has a big problem. And that problem is the main ship. It's Hari with her eldest brother, Eugene. Even though they are not related and yadda yadda yadda, they were raised as such, and thus it bothers me. Also, Eugene is as plain as white bread and just as generic when seen as the Male Lead.

I ship Hari with Johan, even though I know it's not gonna happen, Ugh, the pain..

For me, the main point in this is Hari's relationship with her other siblings and the other background characters. I'm here for that wholesome sibling interaction. Her relationship with Erich, specially, is awesome. I love these two so much

It also kinda lacks a plot? Other than the relationship development and their story as a family, but again, I have no idea how they will develop this.

Also, pet peeve? Why do they keep using Oppa instead of translating it properly as brother? I get honorifics and stuff, but it's so annoying.

I give it a 6/10. Good characters and good relationships outside of the bloody incest thing, and it's a good enough way to pass the time.

There are two more that I've read, buut it's like 4am and I'm sleepy as all hell, so I'll just add it in a reblog or attached post later, and I plan on doing this for other future manhwas as well.

Do you have any recommendations or comments or just wanna talk about any of these manhwas? Hit me up!

[snarkythewoecrow]

sharing the pain (makes it easier to handle)

By: @snarky-drabbles for @dragonbano as part of the @friendly-neighborhood-exchange

Rating: T

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, May Parker, Ben Parker, Pepper Potts

Word Count: 6,600

Summary:

Peter grew up with a soulmate, knowing them from the start. Tony did not. They each live their lives, never crossing paths until the day they do. Soulmates share pain and sensation and sometimes dreams, so when Tony had a hole carved in his chest to make room for a magnet, a little boy in Queens cried out. This is their story, and the story of them finding each other and becoming family.

AN: This was something I’d been wanting to write for a while, and the prompt of platonic soulmates gave me the chance to explore the idea. I really hope you like it @dragonbano

Read on AO3

In a world where soulmates share sensations and sometimes dreams, the first things you notice from your soulmate tend to be things like phantom pain from a skinned knee or stinging palms from a fall you didn’t take. Sometimes there would be dreams, too, flashes of blurry faces in places you’ve never been, with people you didn’t know. A life truly not your own.

Peter didn’t have an everyday experience. Instead of skinned knees, he’d wake on the weekends with pounding headaches, his stomach trying to turn itself inside out. Being sick was his earliest memory. He spent his childhood nursing phantom headaches and nausea every weekend.

May and Ben had taken Peter to the doctor, begging for their help, but there was nothing they could do. It was his soulmate that was the problem. The doctor had taken Ben and May to the side, a conversation too low for Peter’s ears. Whatever was said had made them cast worried glances, frowns etching their faces.

No, Peter didn’t get skinned knees and dreams about recess. He got aches and pains beyond his years. He got sick and had dizzy spells. The other kids in school all had fun talking about their soulmates, but Peter didn’t like talking about his. He wasn’t all that sure he liked soulmates at all. To his young mind, his soulmate wasn’t all that nice. 

But the older he got, the more aware he became of his soulmate and what they might be doing. He even started liking them more, except on weekends when he’d spend the morning feeling awful. He’d heard Ben mention to May something about it being a hangover, but he wasn’t sure what that meant, so he’d asked Ned. Neither of them could come up with an answer that made sense. 

Peter imagined his soulmate worked with their hands, as he was always feeling little stings of pain on his fingers. He thought they felt like burns. Once, he’d felt something crush his pinky and cried. May had kissed his hand and said that sometimes soulmates were clumsy.

At nine, Peter’s world changed. He had been eating breakfast with Ben, May was already at work, and as he brought a spoonful of cereal to his mouth, pain exploded across his chest. It was so intense that he’d spilled his cereal, knocked over his juice, and fallen from his chair. 

His screams had cut the air like a knife. 

And they didn’t stop. 

He’d screamed until his voice was hoarse, until the ambulance came, and until the doctor drugged him into a dreamless sleep. 

He awoke days later, still in pain. His chest felt like someone had ripped it open and left it to fester. He couldn’t breathe through the feeling, and the drugs did nothing to take the edge off because it wasn’t his pain. If it weren’t for feeling the pain and knowing they were still alive, Peter wouldn’t believe you could survive something so terrible. It just hurt so much. 

Ben had even sat with him and told him that his soulmate might not survive, trying to prepare him for what was to come, but Peter hadn’t wanted his soulmate to die, not even if it meant an end to the pain. He was okay with suffering if it meant they lived. 

And they did live. 

The pain stayed constant, and Peter’s prayers to keep his soulmate alive seemed to be heard. 

The doctor’s discharged him the next day, as there was nothing they could do for soulmate pain. May bought him his favorite foods, and he got to miss school, but none of it made the pain better, and Peter’s constant worry for his soulmate remained. He wondered where they were and what had happened to them, and when he went to bed at night, he’d pray for them to make it another day.

The pain continued, and then the dreams of drowning started. He dreamed of a trough of water and his face being forced into it until his lungs burned. He dreamed of being hit and of cave walls. Those nights, he’d wake up crying, though he never called out for Ben or May. He didn’t want to worry them. He already heard their whispered conversations, wondering just what kind of person Peter had been bound to. 

It was an odd sensation to be in the position to feel someone’s suffering so acutely but be unable to make it stop. He wished he could reach through their bond and fend off whoever it was that was hurting them, help them somehow, but he couldn’t. All he could do was feel.

Rubbing his chest one morning, a month after it had all happened, Peter had overheard May asking Ben, “Why him? Why our boy?”

Ben had sighed and whispered back, “I don’t know.”

Their conversation had made Peter frown, sadness settling over him. 

Three months had gone by since his world had been turned on end. His chest continued to ache with every breath, deep into the meat beneath his bones, but as much as it hurt, he didn’t wish it to end. Feeling the pain flare through their bond meant their connection still existed, and his soulmate was still alive. Whoever they were, they knew how to fight.

One afternoon, Peter had been reading on the couch when he felt sparks of pain through his body, things that felt like burns and cuts, a hit to the head, maybe a sprained wrist. He felt a distant sort of exhaustion and dizziness, too, almost like he was too hot. He absently thought his soulmate felt thirsty. Later that night, when he started feeling better, he felt two quick pinches to the back of his hand, startling him a little.

They had been too evenly spaced, too deliberate, not to mean something. Peter had hesitated for a second, then took a breath and pinched his hand back—two pinches like he had felt. This was the first time his soulmate had ever tried to communicate with him, and Peter wasn’t sure why, but he kind of thought those pinches meant that things were going to be okay. 

XXX

Tony grew up without a soulmate, never sharing the connection other children had. His parents weren’t soulmates, and they never talked about theirs. Howard had made it clear when Tony had made the mistake of asking that soulmates weren’t worth wasting your time on. Though his answer had been cold, it fueled Tony to want to know more. He wanted to know why he couldn’t feel anyone. Jarvis had said to him once, trying to reassure him, that there was a person for everyone. Even if they had died, every soul still had a counterpart.  

When he got to college, he made friends with his roommate, Rhodey. The boy was two years older than him but still young himself. Rhodey seemed to have a good connection with his soulmate that at times was comical. 

Whoever Rhodey’s soulmate was, they were always stubbing their toe at the worst times, making Rhodey jump and howl in pain. In return, Rhodey would bite his thumb, laughing when he’d feel something equally as painful happen in return. 

Watching Rhodey interact with his soulmate made Tony’s chest ache for what he didn’t have. At night when no one was watching, he’d dig his nail into the back of his hand, hoping for a response but nothing ever came. He was destined to be alone. 

Rhodey asked him about his soulmate once, maybe noticing that Tony had never reacted to phantom sensations, and after a few drinks and too much junk food, Tony confessed he’d never felt anything. And maybe because it had only been the two of them there, two kids too young to drink that were drunk nonetheless, Tony had opened up about his deepest fears, his fear that maybe he didn’t have a soulmate because there was something wrong with his soul.

Rhodey, ever the pragmatic one, had reasoned that maybe Tony’s soulmate just hadn’t been born yet. It did happen, especially with platonic pairings. Sometimes, rarely, your bond would be with your own child. 

What neither of them said, though, was the other possibility, that his soulmate could be dead. 

Tony hadn’t known which was worse, having a broken soul or having his soulmate die before they met. 

Maybe he needed to be more like his father and just forget about soulmates. It would hurt a lot less. 

After that talk, he’d stopped thinking so much about the soulmate he didn’t have. Instead, he started living life. He didn’t worry about who might be feeling his hangovers or the burns from the soldering iron. He just lived.

Then one cold December night, his parents had died, pushing him into filling his father’s shoes. Somewhere lost in the designs of new weapons, he’d forgotten about soulmates altogether. He was no longer a curious child. He’d turned into his father. 

It wasn’t until the Humvee exploded in the desert and a bomb with his name had put shrapnel in his chest that he thought of soulmates again—or at least, realized that maybe being without one was a blessing. Being alone meant no one was out there to feel the hole carved into his chest. No one felt a magnet being jammed into him and a car battery keeping him alive. Having no one meant someone else’s dreams weren’t being filled with torture. 

At least that’s what he thought until he didn’t. 

Because one night in the cave, after toiling all day over metal, he fell asleep on the cold ground, only to dream about faces he didn’t know, about an apartment he’d never been to. He dreamed about happiness and family and a child laughing. 

When he’d awoken hours later, crying, Yinsen had asked if he’d been dreaming of his soulmate. Tony had scoffed and said, “I’d need a soul first.” His tone had uncertainty to it, though. 

The last thing he wanted was for someone to be connected to him, not now, not after everything he’d been through. He needed to believe he was alone because the alternative that someone was suffering with him was too cruel a reality to face. 

For the first time in years, alone in a cave, far away from home, he prayed, begging whatever god was listening that no one was forced to suffer with him. He might be a selfish man, but he’d never wish his pain on anyone. 

The dreams didn’t stop, and Tony knew he had to survive, just so that he could find them and ask forgiveness. 

After Yinsen died and he’d flown just to fall—after walking the desert and nearly collapsing—he boarded the helicopter with Rhodey and said three words he’d never thought he’d say, to the one friend who had a chance at understanding, “They felt this.”

Rhodey’s eyes had raked over Tony’s form, taking in the blood and burns, gaze falling on the reactor. “That’s—we should get you home.”

Tony hadn’t said anything else because what was there to say. Some unlucky person had been saddled with Tony and forced to suffer for all his sins. It wasn’t something to celebrate. No, being Tony’s soulmate seemed more like something you should mourn. 

Before the helicopter landed, he’d wanted to tell his soulmate that it was over before he had to face the world. He thought back to college and to how Rhodey would communicate with his soulmate. His skin on his hands was charred, and Tony didn’t want to think what his soulmate felt but touched a healthy patch. He debated for a second before giving two quick pinches. He didn’t expect anything in return, but two weak pinches came a moment later, much to his surprise. 

Maybe he’d dropped the ball as a soulmate so far, but he’d do better from here on out. He’d be better. He swore to himself. He wouldn’t hurt his soulmate like this again. He just hoped he could keep his word. 

XXX

Months away from Peter’s ninth birthday, a man made the news on the other side of the country. Peter had heard his aunt and uncle talking about him. He’d thought maybe he heard them say his name was Tony Stark. 

When Peter had asked Ben about him. His uncle had told him that he was a very powerful man who had chosen peace over war. He’d explained that the man had made weapons, but he’d stopped that now, wanting a brighter future. Peter hadn’t known Tony Stark, no more than his uncle had told him, but he found himself proud of him for changing. Because even though Peter was young, he’d known change wasn’t easy, and rarely was it free. 

A few weeks after that conversation with Ben, the sharp pains in Peter’s chest finally started to fade, becoming more of a dull ache, and for the first time in months, he could breathe again. 

The next time he’d felt something jarring from his soulmate was a few months after his ninth birthday. He’d been walking to the bodega down the street with May, needing milk and eggs for the pancakes they wanted to make for dinner. Breakfast for dinner was something fun they did often.

He’d been almost to the corner when he’d felt it, a fist tightening around his heart. The intensity of it had made him stumble. May had had to reach out and steady him.

“What’s wrong?” she’d asked, touching his shoulders, brushing fingers over his cheek. “Are you okay?”

“It’s not me,” Peter had said between pants. He just couldn’t breathe. “Something is wrong with them.”

He’d imagined this was what it felt like to have your heart ripped out. 

May had frowned and guided him towards the neighbor’s stoop. “Sit for a second and catch your breath.”

That was the thing, though. At that moment, Peter hadn’t thought he could breathe at all. 

But then, just as quick as it had started, the sensation stopped. He could breathe again, only the familiar ache in his chest remaining. 

“I don’t know what that was, but I think it’s better,” Peter had said, pushing himself back to his feet. “Do you think they're okay—my soulmate, I mean?”

May had sighed, her expression pinched. “We can hope. Do you still want pancakes?”

Later that night, after they’d eaten their fill of pancakes for dinner, but before he could fall asleep, he felt two light pinches to his hand. He’d smiled and quickly pinched himself back. 

That night, Peter dreamed of robots battling high above twinkling city lights. 

The next morning, the man Ben had told him about before stood at a podium and announced to the world that he was Iron Man, and the suit of armor they showed on the news later—it looked a lot like the robot from Peter’s dreams. 

Peter dreamed about Iron Man nearly every night after, but he’d never thought anything of it because Iron Man was a superhero, and what kid wasn’t dreaming about him?

Things got better until suddenly they weren’t.

Peter could feel something was wrong. He felt sick, bones aching and tired no matter how much he slept. At first, he’d tried resting more, May had made him soup, but as the days went by and he hadn’t gotten better, they’d realized it was his soulmate that was sick—maybe even dying. 

Peter might have only been nine, but he’d become familiar through his soulmate with the effects of drinking. And one cold November day, Peter had felt his soulmate giving up. As the evening had progressed, he’d felt the tell-tale effects of alcohol more and more. It had gotten so bad that Peter had had to climb into bed and spend the rest of the night and the following day there. 

Peter had waited for the pinches to tell him that it would be okay, but as the days had passed, nothing came. Then, suddenly, he’d woken up feeling better. The constant headache was gone. 

Two pinches. 

They’d startled him while he’d been talking to May, making him touch his hand. 

He’d looked at May, a grin spreading over his face. “They're okay.”

That had made her cast him a doubtful look.

“No, really.” Then he’d pinched himself in return. “They're gonna be okay. Just like I knew they would be.”

XXX

The Expo had been in chaos, and Tony had been doing everything he could to protect lives.

He thought he’d been doing well, but then JARVIS had warned him that a child was being targeted by one of the drones.

The sight of the little boy, standing with his toy repulsor pointed at the drone, had nearly stopped Tony’s already damaged heart.

Thinking fast, he’d dropped behind the boy and blasted the drone.

The little boy turned to look at him, and Tony thanked whatever gods there were that he’d made it in time.

“Nice work, kid,” he’d said, swallowing down his relief before returning to the fight.

Later that night, when the adrenaline had left his system, and he’d finally been able to fall asleep, he dreamed about that little boy from the Expo, and a smile spread over his face in his sleep.

XXX

Peter wasn’t sure, but he’d thought his soulmate had been trying harder not to get hurt. A year passed without much pain, and he hadn’t felt the familiar sensations of them getting drunk either. It had been a relief for Peter. For once, he’d gotten the chance to just live and laugh and play, even though the ache in his chest remained. 

Then one afternoon in May, that all changed again. The sky above Manhattan had opened, and aliens had poured through a portal.

He’d been at school when it had happened. Close enough to the fighting that every once in a while, sirens or explosions could be heard. His teacher had made them huddle under their desks. As he’d sat on the floor, listening and watching out the windows, his thoughts hadn’t been for his own safety but of Ben and May’s. They’d been working that day.

Through the window, Peter could see shadows in the sky out over the buildings. His gaze had been torn away from them, though, when he’d felt a sharp pain in his head. 

Panic had washed over him at the sensation, at the realization that his soulmate might be out there in the fray. His stomach had twisted into knots at the thought.

What if his soulmate lived in the city? What if they were close to the fighting? 

As the other children cried, wanting to go home, Peter had been concentrating, focusing on what his soulmate was feeling, hoping that he’d be able to tell where they were, if they were safe. So far, he hadn’t felt anything too bad happen to them, though the aches and pains were growing. He had faith, though, that they’d be okay. His soulmate had survived worse things. He was sure of it.

The pain in Peter’s head was constant, and almost every spot on his body ached. He could feel tendrils of exhaustion not his own, reaching out and wrapping around him, trying to suffocate him. It had taken all of Peter’s will not to cry.

Then, like a switch had been flipped, everything Peter had been feeling stopped, leaving him more untethered and alone than he’d ever felt before. 

The connection he shared with his soulmate had never gone blank before, though he knew what it could mean. Ben had once told him that when a soulmate died, the connection would break. Suddenly, you would be alone and feel nothing but your own body. It had been a reality Peter had expected to happen many times in the past, and now that the connection was gone, his heart felt like it was missing, too. The tears he’d been holding back fell, leaving tracks on his cheeks.

Angrily, he’d wiped his face. His soulmate couldn’t leave him, not now, not after everything they’d been through. 

They had to make it. 

His grip on the legs of his desk had tightened to the point his knuckles were white, and he’d looked out the window again to see the sun was shining. 

His soulmate couldn’t die today. 

But then, when his hope had nearly faded, as abruptly as it had disappeared, the connection returned, flooding him with aching joints and distant pains, and it made him smile.  

Peter welcomed it all, every last pain, no matter how deep. 

His soulmate was alive. 

XXX

Tony had gotten into the car after giving his address to terrorists and headed straight home. How dare they hurt someone important to him? He might have promised himself to be better for his soulmate, but he couldn’t let this slide.

A little while later, after his house had fallen into the ocean, and he’d crashed into the hills of Tennessee, he found himself trudging through the cold, dragging his armor behind him. 

It was nearly Christmas, and his thoughts weren’t only on the terrorists—they were with his soulmate. He’d wondered if they were excited to see Santa, or maybe they didn’t celebrate Christmas at all. They were young, though. Tony had known that much. It had been a sick twist of fate that someone as innocent as a child would be saddled with him. 

The unfairness of it all weighed on him, and he’d stopped on the side of the road, taken a breath, and pinched his hand, feeling a little like a liar. Because those pinches had come to mean it was okay, and Tony wasn’t sure that right then things would be—at least not yet. He had a sinking suspicion more battles lay in the days ahead. 

His soulmate proved themselves to be more understanding than Tony deserved. Instead of being bitter because they’d been hurt again, they simply pinched him back a moment later, conveying with it acceptance and forgiveness, something he wasn’t certain he deserved. 

The guilt for hurting his soulmate had tasted bitter when he’d swallowed it down, but he’d pushed himself forward, one foot in front of the other. He didn’t have time to dwell. There were terrorists to deal with and lives on the line. 

Then his journey took him to a garage, where he met a boy named Harley, had a sandwich, and started on the path to save the day—again. 

And after the battles were fought, and his suits had exploded in the sky—after he’d kissed Pepper, and relief finally flooded him, Tony had taken a moment to himself. Alone in the back of a police car, Tony had pinched himself twice—this time meaning it. Things were going to be okay. 

It was over. They could rest now.

And something that had come from spending time with Harley over that week had been a realization of sorts, one he probably should have had sooner. With his potato gun and too much courage, Harley had shown him just how vulnerable and in need of protection a child was. Meeting Harley had made Tony think about his own soulmate and how unfair it was that someone so innocent was made to suffer for Tony’s sins.  

Something had to change.

Just as he’d started to think his soulmate wasn’t going to respond. Tony had felt the two pinches in return and smiled.

His soulmate deserved some peace in their life, a childhood without as much hurt. He would find a way to lessen the pain. 

And because nothing ever got between Tony and what he wanted, he’d found a way.

Three days after Christmas, the arc reactor was removed from his chest, a late gift to his soulmate. They deserved to breathe freely. He’d owed them that much. 

 XXX

The next few years passed uneventfully, except for the usual aches and pains that came with an older soulmate. As a pleasant surprise, the hangovers had stopped entirely. It was like Peter’s soulmate had started taking better care of themself, something he was grateful for. It gave him a chance to make friends and have sleepovers without worrying about what his soulmate might do.

That was until things took an unexpected turn.

It started with a field trip and ended with a spider bite—not just any bite, either—one from a radioactive, genetically modified spider.

The bite had laid Peter up in bed for a day, under the guise that he’d had the flu, but it was really the bite. His temperature had soared, and he’d writhed in pain, eventually passing out, twisted in his sweat-soaked sheets.  

And when he’d finally woken the next day, the sun streaming through his gauzy curtains, he’d felt amazing. The distant aches of his soulmate were still there, though, but his body felt brand-new.

But when he'd reached for the shirt that he’d discarded in his fevered haze, he discovered that he couldn’t let go of the sheet. He’d tried shaking himself free, but it had clung to him. Eventually, his frustration turned to laughter, and he was finally able to let go.

The whole thing had been so ridiculous and crazy, he’d almost forgotten about his soulmate. The sudden realization that they’d felt his fever and pain made his stomach drop.

What must they have thought with him as sick as he was?

Quickly, Peter had pinched his hand twice, waiting with bated breath for a response. When it had finally came a moment later, Peter sagged with relief.

XXX

December rolled around again, another year gone by. Tony had tried very hard to live better for his soulmate. He’d eaten better, drank less, slept more. He’d done all the things a person should.

The thought that Tony may never know who his soulmate was saddened him. In the world they lived in, many people never found theirs. Tony wished he could find his, though. He’d like to apologize, say more than the meager pinches could offer.

His soulmate never gave him much to go on, though, not that pain or sensations could be tracked, but Tony’s soulmate was careful, rarely getting hurt. The most Tony ever seemed to feel from them was a hangnail or stubbed toe.

That was until a cool December day changed things.

Tony had been sorting through some boxes they’d had in storage when the feeling hit him. It had started as a dull ache in his muscles, then spread into sharp pain over the day and night. It had felt like his muscles were being peeled from the bone. Dizziness had overtaken him, and if not for knowing his soulmate was too young to drink, Tony might have thought they’d gotten drunk, too.

Something was very wrong, though.

Tony had made it to bed and collapsed, Pepper coming to find him hours later. She’d sat with him, asking what was wrong, but Tony didn’t know.

It was one of the longest nights of Tony’s life, not just because of the pain but because of his worry for his soulmate.

When the sun finally broke the horizon the next day, Tony had pulled himself out of bed, testing his joints. 

The pain was gone. 

And for an agonizing second, Tony had thought their connection had broken, but then he felt two pinches to his hand, and he’d all but fallen over in a hurry to respond.

He might not ever know what happened to his soulmate, but he did know that they were okay now. Tony just wished he could have been there for them when they needed him. He would have donned the armor and fought an army to keep them safe.

Even though they’d never met, Tony would fight the world for them.

When spring rolled around and the world demanded accountability, Tony had done the only right thing he could. He’d signed the Accords. He just hadn’t realized at the time what the one small action might bring. He hadn’t known how it would bring him closer to his soulmate.

July was creeping up fast, and Tony had needed as many hands to help as he could get. A battle was brewing, one that would tear the Avengers apart.

He’d gone to Queens to recruit a kid with powers. Peter Parker was his name. He was only fourteen. The kid could stick to things and stop a bus with his bare hands, something that in a fight could swing things to Tony’s favor, not that Tony wanted a fight, but he didn’t think Steve would give him another option. This kid, who dressed up after school in red and blue, he might be just what Tony needed to buy some time so he could get Steve to listen.

The funny thing about soulmates was that you never really knew how close you were to meeting them unless you were lucky enough to get hurt in front of them.

Tony had no idea when he knocked on May Parker’s door how close he was to his.

When she answered the door, Tony had had to pause because there was something about her that seemed familiar, but he’d been busy with long days and wrote it off as just another oddity.

Then he’d gone inside, sat on her couch, and sipped a coffee, and the sense of deja vu continued.

When Peter had come in, and Tony had introduced himself, he hadn’t needed to ask which room was Peter’s because he already knew. Odd, he’d thought. 

Maybe if he hadn’t been so sleep-deprived, maybe if he’d had less on his mind, it might have clicked for him, and he might have realized he’d been dreaming about this apartment for years. But he was tired, and his mind was preoccupied, so in the end, Tony had brushed off the strange feeling and invited the kid with too much heart and kindness in his eyes to join him in Germany. He could think about what it all meant later. 

XXX

The fight at the airport had been so much bigger than Peter, bigger than the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man he had set out to be, but he’d held his own. 

As he laid on the ground, trying to catch his breath, Tony had landed nearby, telling him when he’d tried to get up that he needed to stay down, and with as many aches as Peter felt, he found himself agreeable to that idea. 

After Mr. Rhodes was taken to the hospital, Peter finally got his bearings back enough to be awkward around his hero again. He had his mask off, clutched in his hand. 

Tony was standing by the car, talking to Happy. Peter could have probably heard them if he tried, but he was happy to just ignore whatever they were saying. 

Every part of his body ached, and for once, he couldn’t tell where his soulmate’s pain ended, and Peter’s began. It was all just a big blur. 

Tony and Happy seemed to be in some kind of debate. Every once in a while, they'd look over at Peter with a wave of a hand. He wondered if he could go home now. Maybe they’d stick him on a plane right here, but then he looked around at the mess from the fight and frowned. Maybe the plane would need to wait until there was a clear runway, or they’d need to find another airport first. 

Thinking of his soulmate, Peter knew he should check in with them. Clearly, from some of the pains he felt, his soulmate had had a rough day, too. 

It didn’t register to him that Tony was watching when he pinched his hand, twice, one right after another. He waited, knowing it never took long for his soulmate to answer, but as the seconds passed, nothing happened. 

He frowned, but he didn’t have time to ponder why his soulmate wasn't answering because suddenly Tony was there in front of him, Happy getting into the car behind him. 

“Oh, hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, shifting awkwardly. “So, this was really fun, and I know you’re busy and all, but can I go home soon? I really do have homework.”

Tony just stared at him, his lips pursed. Peter felt like he was in trouble, and he opened his mouth to say something, maybe apologize—for what he wasn’t sure—but then Tony stopped him by saying flatly, “Why’d you do that?”

Peter’s face twisted in confusion. “Um, what?”

Tony dropped his gaze to Peter’s hand, pointing at it. “You pinched yourself. Why?”

“It’s, um, personal,” Peter said with a frown, not really wanting to tell him about his silly soulmate things. He didn’t think someone else would understand the complicated bond he had with his. “It’s just something I do. Doesn’t mean anything—really.”

Tony shook his head slowly, chewing his lip. Then, hesitantly, he brought his hand up between them. 

Peter’s gaze flicked between his hand and his face. “Mr. Stark?” 

“It’s okay, kid,” Tony said. “This might mean nothing—could just be me overthinking things—but maybe …” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Then he pinched the back of his hand, and Peter’s breath caught in his throat because he felt it.

“Oh my god,” Peter stuttered in shock, touching the back of his own hand. “You—I felt it!”

Tony looked ready to break, like a brittle branch in the wind. His eyes looked wild with emotion, almost feral. Peter didn’t think he was handling it much better than he was. 

“It’s really you,” Tony breathed a moment later, looking ready to shake apart. 

His whole life, Peter had dreamed of flying and metal suits, but he’d never thought—he shook his head, sucking in a breath. Everything felt magnified. It was all too much. 

“You’re—you’re my soulmate? All this time,” Peter asked, even though he’d already felt the proof. For some reason, he needed to hear it. It was too crazy to be real. He’d spent his whole life dreaming of the day he’d meet his soulmate, and now it was finally happening. Maybe now he could finally get answers to what had happened to them all these years. 

Tony’s eyes were glassy, and his mouth twisted with emotion. He looked ready to cry. “Kid,” Tony breathed, then reached out and grabbed Peter by the shoulders, yanking him to his chest. 

Peter stood stiffly for a moment, not having expected the embrace, but then started to relax as the feelings of home and warmth settled into him. He felt safe in Tony’s arms. The memories of the pain they’d shared faded, and he was overwhelmed by the protective love Tony exuded. 

Tony cupped the back of his head, pressing his cheek to the top of Peter’s head, and they both just breathed. For the first time, they both knew the other was alright. They had tangible proof they would be okay. 

After a minute of holding him, Tony choked out the words, “I’m so sorry, Peter. I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you.” And Peter thought Tony was crying—which was fine because so was he. 

Peter clutched at Tony’s shirt. His emotions were overwhelming. “It’s okay, Mr. Stark. Well, I mean, it hurt, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Growing up like that—it taught me a lot, taught me you never know what someone else is going through. I think, I think it made me who I am, you know?”

Tony breathed against his hair. “Jesus, kid. Anyone else, anyone else on the planet, and I think they'd be bitter, but you…” He shook his head. “I hope someday you can forgive me.”

Peter drew back, wiping his tears with his bunched-up mask because just like Tony, his emotions were getting in the way—or maybe they were right where they needed to be. 

Peter gave him a watery smile. “There’s nothing to forgive. Maybe it wasn’t the easiest”-he shrugged—“but it wasn’t your fault. Knowing you were out there—got me through some rough times. Nah, there’s nothing to forgive, Mr. Stark.”

“Tony, please,” he said, thumbing away the moisture from his eyes. Then he laughed. “I usually don’t cry like this, but I guess meeting your soulmate is an exception.”

Peter gave a nervous smile. “I never cry much either, really. I think—well, nevermind.”

Tony sighed, looking a little sad. “You learn not to cry when you’re always in pain, sets the bar a little differently than most people.”

Peter nodded, dropping his gaze to his hands, where he fisted his mask. “Yeah, that.” His throat felt clogged with mucus and emotion in equal parts, but he still tried clearing it, then said, “Is it weird I feel like I know you—like really know you—even though we just, you know, met?”

Tony squeezed Peter’s shoulder and shook his head. “I kinda think it’s normal. I mean, we do know each other. After everything I’ve put you through.” He stopped to take a breath. “I really am sorry, Peter.”

Peter shrugged, scuffing his toe against the ground. “It’s fine—I mean, I get it. You’re Iron Man. I mean, it’s crazy, but you’re my soulmate, and I—I understand. I know you never meant to put me through that. It’s not like you’re evil or anything.”

Tony huffed a laugh. “No, I’m not evil or anything—at least not when it comes to you. I tend to go a little dark side if I miss my morning coffee, though.” Then he brushed his hand over Peter’s temple, where a wound sluggishly bled. “I’d ask how the head was, but I can feel it and I know it hurts.”

Peter scrunched his nose. “That’s gonna get annoying.”

Tony’s smile widened. “Oh, for you? Definitely. I’ll know every time you do something stupid, like get batted out of the sky by some overgrown insect.”

“That was pretty cool.”

“Our definitions of cool are very different,” Tony said, then nodded to the car behind him. “Happy’s waiting. I think we’re having a change of plans, though. I was going to send you back to the states with him, but I’m not ready to let you out of my sight yet.”

Peter felt a wave of relief at that because he wasn’t ready to leave his soulmate yet either. 

“Do you have anything for pain in the car?” Peter asked. 

“Head hurt?”

Peter shook his head, fighting back a smirk. “Not for me, for your backache. It must be hard being so old.”

Tony threw his head back and laughed, then slapped Peter on the shoulder. “Let’s go. Get in the car, you little shit, before I change my mind about keeping you.”

Peter smiled, big and genuine. “I’m glad I finally met you.”

Tony paused, his expression softening. “I’m glad too, kiddo.”

Peter got in the car, and Tony did take some medication for his back ache. Then he pulled out a first aid kit and stuck an ice pack to Peter’s face, telling him it was as much for Tony’s relief as it was for his. 

Finding his soulmate wasn’t the end of the journey. It was the beginning of a new one. With one story behind them, they prepared themselves for whatever adventures lay ahead. At least now, when the pain got too much, they could reach out to the other. 

The pinches never stopped, old habits die hard, but they added hugs and family dinners.

Because that’s what they were now. They were family.  

[captainkirbypunch]

My love has left tumblr once again.

As many of you may know, the account under the name MDZADR, has left tumblr. They felt unsafe in their fandom, and as such have deleted their tumblr and AO3 account due to the bad memories linked to them.

As a part of their departure, they have asked me to post something in their name, as follows.

If you want more details about how I came to this realization, continue to read. If not, here is your summary:

TL;DR: For the safety and health of this fandom, I wanted to spread the word that Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and MelodyoftheVoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don’t “ship zadr correctly.” She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is. 

Full story below.

I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. Nobody did anything to me today, but this just wasn’t worth it.

My AO3 and tumblr are both gone. I didn’t say goodbye because I didn’t want to look like an attention seeker.

Here’s the thing. I wasn’t going to name drop, but you guys need to know the truth. I’m instructing my boyfriend (hi y’all) to turn asks off for his own safety after this because this is going to be a nightmare, but... allow me to tell you the full story. I’ll try to break up the text so it’s less difficult to read, but this is important. I’m sorry to air discourse so publicly, but please... I need you to listen to me.

I’ll start from the beginning, without being vague anymore about who “she” is. I request that you please read the whole thing and not skip parts of it. The whole story matters.

I finally returned to the fandom about two months or so ago. As I’ve mentioned, I don’t do well in my thoughts while left alone too long, so I posted saying I would stop messaging people I knew because I didn’t want to bother them. There were only two people I was talking to at the time, but one of them is famous so I didn’t want to message her directly saying that. Doing so would have put her in a position of feeling obligated to say “you’re not bothering me” rather than just simply being able to sigh with relief from no longer being contacted. 

But the first person to contact me was the famous person, and she asked if I was okay, and told me she liked talking to me.

God, I actually cried.

But, that’s just her. Melodyofthevoid is the type of person to talk to people in the fandom, totally unaware of her demigod status. She comments on stories, interacts on posts, messages first... a pillar of kindness, so it seemed.

But let the story continue.

Over time, we were talking more often. 

Mostly sending memes (cause everyone I knew, myself included, aren’t exactly great at holding conversations. No shade. Memes are a love language). I was still in the hero worship stage of our relationship, so my view of her was that that was perfect.

Now, let me bridge a connection with a new story idea I got around December 28th or so, and my thinking she was perfect.

I had recently finished watching Madoka and questioned “If I had magical powers, what would they be?” It then turned into its own story idea, basing creators’ powers around the strengths and weaknesses in creations. I actually realized “oh fuck. My stuff is incoherent. My friends’ works aren’t too different...”

Thus spawned the name “Incoherent” for the project.

What does that have to do with this? Well, here’s the thing that really fucked everything up quickly. 

This was not on purpose, because originally the project (which I had told nobody of yet at the time) was all about improving your works, making platonic friends, dressing our personas in cute outfits, and writing fun magic.

While listening to music and thinking of the story one day, my brain accidentally shipped my persona with hers, and I couldn’t unsee it. And I’m lousy at keeping my own secrets (other’s are different) so she found out on probably day one or two about my weird crush because of an ask meme of all things. 

She didn’t try to put me off any, which was another problem for future things to come, and so I decided that since Incoherent was finally making me feel alive again and feeling the euphoric feelings of love wouldn’t hurt anything (I figured they’d mellow out on their own eventually because that’s how infatuation works) since they helped fuel my inspiration, and then we would just continue from friends to better friends one day and this part of our lives would be over.

Besides, the forbidden is attractive somehow, and makes stories more entertaining. She’s aro/ace, so I had no chance anyway. Someone safe to crush on, in her own way.

This isn’t a story of a love betrayal however. There was no such thing. But it’s important to the story because Incoherent is where my mistakes were made, and hers brought to light.

By this time, I had a handful of people I was talking to, and I created a discord server for the project. Only my boyfriend (hi!) and I were in it at the time. I was not-so-subtly asking my friends what they’d look like if they were a magical person, what their names would be... I thought I would have had to lure Melody in to make her want to join us, but I managed to get her in very easily. Everyone was happy and excited! It was a no obligation, no time limit thing for us to enjoy, a little sandbox to play around in. 

Sure there were plans to make it bigger and I was working on art to the best of my ability, but it was gonna be a fun thing mostly. No pressure on anyone.

And how things started becoming a problem was that the rest of us posted publicly about the project and interacted with each other’s posts relating to the story, but she had started to interact publicly less and less with our things, and everyone noticed it.

It wasn’t because we were greedy and wanted the popular girl to reblog our things. It’s because we had a feeling she was ashamed of being seen publicly with us. The reason we were worried before then and started making that connection was because I mentioned I was going to ask another user if they were interested in joining Incoherent. Melody was the only one that seemed uncomfortable, and I messaged her asking about it. We agreed I wouldn’t invite that person but I knew things were off about it.

That person is like me. How long until Melody didn’t want to talk to me anymore? A few days ago, the other shoe finally dropped. A member of our little group and I were talking and (let’s call them Friend for simplicity. They asked to not be name dropped here) Friend was worried they had made Melody upset by tagging her in a meme picture they drew of her persona, and the two had agreed that Friend remove the tag. This spawned an anxiety-filled conversation where Friend and I expressed our concerns about Melody not interacting with the project, or us.

So since I wanted reassurance that that wasn’t the case, I messaged Melody with my concerns. I told her I had the feeling she was ashamed of being seen in public with us because of her friends, and she didn’t refute me. She simply told me to go get some rest. I messaged back with “I’m right.”

I deleted Discord off my phone for hours and nearly deleted my Tumblr, AO3, and the server after my boyfriend helped pass messages between us. Melody confessed that was the case because her friends expressed discomfort with my works, and she was playing both sides.

Her words, not mine.

Melody told me she would be withdrawing from the Incoherent project because it wasn’t fair to us if her heart wasn’t in it.

She didn’t stand up on my behalf when they said things about me. Her friends are the type who talk behind creators’ backs for shipping zadr “incorrectly.” Worse than antis because they actually participate in the “pro-shipping” side of the fandom. I broke that day and messaged her at 3 am.

We finally spoke at 3pm. We both missed each other. I tried to understand more. I wanted it to be more like a conversation rather than an interrogation. It was only one-sided however, and she never opened up further. And I made some mistakes and poor choices of words, and we ended up parting ways permanently right there. 

I nearly deleted everything, but much like a coma patient attached to many machines on a hospital bed, my blog was kept alive a little longer by people sending kind words in droves. I was briefly fuelled by spite, wishing to watch the world burn by making everyone on the "correct" side of the fandom upset by posting the worst, most vile content this fandom has ever seen.

I was also welcomed with open arms by a very kind server with fellow degenerates, all of them screaming and crying and partying when they managed to get me in their server. It was so heartwarming...

But as I spoke to others about my situation, I realized something. A disturbing pattern.

People telling me horror stories about how Mooping-10 was cult-like. How the people running it were antis. I was even told once that they have a secondary server where they go to have their talks and do their work, likely the place where the real bashing is held.

The server itself has rules against such behavior, but I suppose it's different when they do it.

One person (and this is the most unnerving part for me, personally) told me Melody actually set off alarm bells in their head without having even done anything yet, and the most disturbing part of the story was that one of the moderators was afraid and upset because they got Covid, and received basically no moral support at all. Only getting told "spoiler that. Sorry you got Covid".

I was horrified. That server has 100 people in it. How many of them are the same? They act like popular kids in school who picked up an unpopular main character and then bash others, and the main character joined in because they don't want to be left behind by their new "friends".

To put it short, back to my point:

TL;DR: I simply only wanted to spread the word that: Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and Melodyofthevoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don't "ship zadr correctly". She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is.