#you have every right to establish those boundaries and put your line where you need it to be | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

diabolicalacid · 2 years

Text

ONCE MORE TO SEE YOU

the truth is, you weren’t expecting much. rather, you weren’t expecting anything at all. expectations : null. asking atsumu for help regarding kiyoomi was a shot in the dark. it was something you decided without much consideration, pretty much a choice made on a whim. you released a dart in the air with no aim fixed in sight, unsure about where it would land. but you were definitely aware it wouldn’t land anywhere close to what you would ideally prefer for it to.

you were right, by all means, because it has been more than thirty six hours since you sent that text to atsumu, since your conversation with him reached an abrupt pause, and he hasn’t replied yet. while avoiding a reply to your strange request could be considered fair, he hasn’t even attempted to shift the conversation to something unrelated. it’s been dead silence along the communication lines, except you’ve already received three gifts, four bouquets and five boxes of chocolates. none of which seem quite as appetizing as they would under normal circumstances, because all you really want, is a text back from atsumu miya. but that seems like a long shot right now, considering he hasn’t made any attempt to re establish contact.

you don’t know if sending gifts counts as keeping in touch, or if it’s remotely the same concept, but for atsumu, it feels akin to some sort of compensatory mechanism in order to make up for cutting contact with you. you just wish he didn’t feel the need to rely on these said compensations, because texting you back seems like a better and easier option in any case. but knowing atsumu, knowing his love language is gifting, you think it’s a good thing he’s attempting to stay true to himself even when he’s trying his best to turn away from you at the same time. you don’t think you’ve ever witnessed a dilemma alike this.

you hear the doorbell ringing and you drop the damp kitchen cloth clutched within your hand onto the countertop to head for the door. you don’t have to think much about the identity of the person at your doorstep. you know it’s atsumu miya without giving it much thought. the jingle of the set of metal keys clanking against one another is evident enough.

although you offered him a set of spare keys thirty four days into your relationship, as well as the liberty to walk in and out of your apartment as and when he pleases, he prefers not to abuse the power granted to him. the least he does is consider the opportunity every time he’s in the neighbourhood, but he’s also quick to withdraw from those thoughts. the truth is, you like that about him. atsumu miya respects the boundaries you’ve put in place for yourself, but ironically, he doesn’t let you respect his own. in a way, you do end up abusing your privilege quite a bit, but he’s okay with it.

you walk up to the door, pulling it open to find atsumu miya standing at your doorstep, just as you predicted. you pretend to be surprised about his presence at your door, although you were aware about it to begin with, a tone of astonishment, “tsumi?”

“yn.” he speaks your name, voice a little shaky as he rubs his nape out of the sheer nervousness that grips onto his bones and guilt he’s laden in. a brief pause, then he greets you, “hey.”

you aren’t exactly amused at the current state your boyfriend is in. he seems rather embarrassed of facing you, or personally, you would prefer saying that he’s being a little too nervous for your liking. there is no way anyone who hasn’t been ripped off of their usual calmness would be sweating when it’s practically freezing outside. not to mention, atsumu has never stuttered around you, his voice has never been so soft and shaky. you’ve only ever known loud and boisterous, noisy and clamorous. this is, well, this is certainly taking you by surprise.

you think you understand where he’s coming from. considering he practically ignored you for more than a day and a half, you aren’t surprised that he’s contemplating the need to feel guilty about it. along with that guilt comes the obvious nervousness to face you. although only a little, because anything more than the bare minimum would be unfit for his personality or rather, too overbearing for him, but he seems culpable enough to himself, so you suppose this is valid. but you don’t like it. you just don’t.

you want him to be comfortable around you. really, you never intended for him take the whole blame for the situation. asking your boyfriend to convince your “ex” into something for your own benefit isn’t exactly the best take in any situation. it can’t be considered a morally correct one either. so of course, you were okay with atsumu ignoring you. you knew it would last for two days at the most. if it were you, you would’ve dealt with the exact situation much worse, so he wasn’t to blame here. clearly, you were right because even though he had cut contact, your boyfriend was still trying to make up through all those gifts he sent, and he even showed up at your place.

“hey, you.” you respond to the nervous figure in front of you, sighing as you eye the bunch of keys in the grip of his pinky finger. you point to them, mentioning in a monotone, “you could’ve just let yourself in, tsumi.”

atsumu says, shrugging, “i know.”

“i just didn’t want to impose.” he tells you.

you agree as you think, “right, fair enough.”

“come on in now.” you take a step back, gesturing him to step in, but atsumu doesn’t move from his position. it irks you quite a bit, you repeat, raising your voice, “come on in.”

“it’s freezing cold outside.” you state, only the fact as clarified by your temperature meter. you point to it, “look right there, i’m not kidding.” atsumu’s eyes span to where your finger points, at the machine hooked to the wall.

he hums. you sigh, gripping one of his hands, viewing him with drooping lips, “plus you look cold, baby.”

ichigo walks closer to the door and you let go of atsumu’s hand so that you can take a hold of her before she manages to flee somewhere. you stoop down, urging atsumu whilst stretching your arms to take a grab of the feline, “come on inside already, tsumi.”

you grumble under breath, standing up to your feet with the cat in your hand, “you’re kind of getting on my nerves here, tsumi.”

“you’ll catch a cold, hello?” you raise your voice, prompting him, and with the cat still in one of your hands, you take a step or two closer to your boyfriend.

“i’m dressed for the season, yn.” there’s an attempt to rebuff your concern as atsumu presents his leather coat and boots to you. but you don’t buy it. here’s the thing, more than the fact that’s it’s freezing cold outside, you don’t understand the purpose of showing up at your place if he doesn’t even want to enter your apartment. you just consider it annoying.

“i’ll be alright even if it’s cold outside.” he recapitulates. you roll your eyes, grabbing his sleeve, attempting to drag him inside.

with ichigo under your arrest, it proves quite difficult, moreso impossible to pull a twenty six year old grown man inside. plus atsumu is bigger than you, and that isn’t helping your case at all. you give in, breathing out as you snap at him, “well you aren’t here to just stand at my door, are you?”

“no.” he agrees with you, shrugging as he takes a step closer and you think he’s finally letting himself in, but then the stops in the tracks, stipulating an agitated cry from yourself.

“i’m sure you had all the intention of coming in, so why don’t you fucking do it?!” you’re practically raging at this point. there’s another attempt to drag him inside as you circle your arm around his and strive to pull him in.

to atsumu, it’s quite amusing, because when you fail the second time around, he breaks into a hearty laugh, seeking to quip at you, “you really thought you could move a six feet two inch man by the strength of an arm?”

“i didn’t. of course, i didn’t.” you deny, but you know there’s no coming back from your blunder even after the poor trial at redemption. you definitely overestimated yourself in this case. however, you back yourself up, bringing up, “at least i tried.”

“i tried my best.” you burble under breath, lips stuck in a sad pout, and atsumu draws himself closer to your face, kissing you briefly on the forehead.

you’re rather bemused, so you tut, taking a step back. the truth is, you’re a little pissed, losing patience because your boyfriend is willing to kiss you, he’s even willing to tease you, rattling all your nerves, but he can’t get himself to enter your apartment before he does that. at this point, you’re pretty sure he’s here only to take a jab at you. clearly, your agony is as tempting as it could get. he’s enjoying this a little too much. you really thought he was genuinely considering the emotion of guilt. guess you were wrong, and you suppose that’s a good thing (in a way or two).

he points to ichigo who’s resting in your arm, suggesting, “if you were to put ichigo inside first, maybe then you’d have better luck at dragging me inside next.”

“yea,” you sigh, rolling your eyes at yourself, “you’re right. just let me.” you agree, a little embarrassed you didn’t think of it first, but in your defense, atsumu didn’t give you much room for thought. you take ichigo inside and put him in your bedroom, returning to the door to take in charge of your mission again.

you seize a hold of atsumu’s hands in your own and tow him inside with all your strength. he makes it quite easy for you when he gives in the effort it takes to glue himself to the ground halfway, and walks inside voluntarily, a wide but rather mischievous smile plastered across his lips. you roll your eyes as he confirms your suspicion. clearly, he’s here purely for his own amusement. the audacity, you think.

“and, inside.” you drag your words as you finally bring him inside. then sigh out of relief, dropping his hands as you rush to close the door behind him. there’s the thud of the door, then he pulls you by the waist closer to him, praising you, “good job. you did it.”

“i did it.” you repeat, lifting your fist in a sign of victory, rolling your eyes as your lips curve into a smile for him.

he pushes the loose, unruly strand of your hair gripping your cheekbones behind your ear, bringing himself even closer to you, head lurching down to whisper, “good job, baby.”

you whisper back, lightly chuckling, “oh i know, i’m pretty good.”

atsumu proceeds to plant a kiss on your lips, allowing your lipstick to impress a hint of its color onto his own lips. he expects you to kiss him in return, but you don’t reciprocate. you think he’s being way too bold right now. you think he doesn’t deserve to kiss you right now. if he thinks ignoring you for more than thirty six hours is something he can make up for with a lousy show of affection and a single kiss, you think he’s gravely mistaken.

no, atsumu miya doesn’t deserve to kiss you after whatever happened in the span of last thirty six hours, especially not after he showed up to your place with an intention to tease you rather than forwarding an apology. but he sure deserves forgiveness for all that ignorance because you were the one who put him in an awkward situation in the first place. except, he hasn’t asked for it yet, and you won’t bother to make an effort to extend it on your own.

you lean closer to his face as you balance on your toes, pulling out a tissue from your pocket. you wipe the embossed color of your lipstick off of his lips, saying, “there you go.”

you use your thumb to expunge whatever remains of the color, patting his cheek once you’re done, “all clean.” merely out of some consideration to feed his distress, you smooch him on the cheek.

with atsumu so close to you, his hot breath practically leaving scars on your skin, with his puppy eyes looking for a kiss from you, and his desperation swallowing your being whole, you can only say you’re too weak to aim for an attempt at celibacy today. you give in, allowing yourself to kiss him in return, but you warn him concomitantly, “don’t you think you’ll get off my case each time with those puppy eyes.”

“i can be stubborn too, you know.” you murmur again his lips, extending yourself a little further from him.

with that kiss sublimated where it’s supposed to, right at the center of his lips, you push him off you, walking towards the kitchen while you instruct him, “take that coat off and hang it on the stand, tsumi.”

“there’s some hot cocoa and left overs from lunch if you’d like.” you inform, “i can heat it up for you real quick.” you turn around, crossing your arms, awaiting a response.

“no, thanks, i had lunch with osamu earlier today.” atsumu denies the offer, demanding a slight frown from yourself. when he notices the drooping eyes pinned on your face, he’s quick to redeem himself, “but i have room for some ramen.”

“if only you have room for some as well.” he adds, a lilt to his voice as he highlights your mention in his appeal, seeking your consent.

you roll your eyes, lips tugging into a satisfying smile as you nod, “of course i do.”

“i always do, when it’s with you.” you maffle undertone, cheeks turning slightly red as you turn around in a jiffy, proceeding towards the kitchen, hoping he doesn’t catch onto whatever you just mumbled.

but atsumu somehow does, and it makes him giggle, purely out of how cute he thinks you are while you say cheesy stuff like that. he isn’t used to it after all, so he finds it as entertaining as he finds it adorable. he decides to agree with you, much aware of your dedication towards him, “i know you always do.”

with your cheeks a deeper shade of red as his laughter echoes around you, you jog up to the cabinets to retrieve some ramen. you tip toe to reach the packets of ramen sitting on the topmost floor of the shelf. atsumu notices your struggle to reach the top, but before he can cut in to offer some help, you manage to grab onto two packets and bring them down. you place those on the countertop, turning around to invite atsumu to join you, “come here.”

“yes, i will.” he obeys, leading his steps in your direction. he proceeds to lug you into a hug, kissing the top of your head thrice. you think you’re a maniac to keep a count.

fairly enough, you’re surprised. pleasantly surprised, because every touch that atsumu has imparted upon you so far has always felt like it was born out of desperation. the kind that wasn’t exactly moral. right now, his touch still feels just as desperate, except, it’s the kind of desperation you prefer. the kind where in he’s yearning for genuine love. you think you like it better when atsumu wonders about true love.

“i missed you.” he confides, snuggling into you, and you sigh, because really, whose fault is that. he’s the one who chose to ignore you in the first place. not to say you don’t like this side of him. not to say being held so close to the heart by someone who wants to genuinely love you back doesn’t feel akin to the best feeling ever.

you pull on the cartilage of his ear, teasing him, declaring, “you don’t get to say that, atsumu miya.” you separate him from yourself, gesturing him to stand next to you so that the two of you can finally start cooking some ramen. you snarl at him, “you’re the one who ignored me to begin with.”

“you’re cruel, tsumi.” you mumble, handing him a pot and a ladle, continuing to criticise him, “you’re also very selfish for assuming you were the only one who missed your s/o.”

you moot, picking up a pair of scissors to slice the packet of ramen open, “you don’t get to be sad.”

“i know i don’t.” atsumu surprisingly agrees with whatever you want to divulge, confessing, “the truth is, yn, i got really jealous.”

you cut your packet of ramen open, then offer him the pair of scissors. he takes it off you, proceeding to cut his own packet open, adding to his previous statement, hesitant about his words, “i hate to admit, but when you mentioned omiomi, i hated it.”

“i really really hated it.” his voice cracks while the plastic rustles as he tightens his grip on the packet of ramen rendered open.

the reluctance to admit is so heavy, it would’ve weighed your body down to the ground if it were you instead of your beloved boyfriend. but you think it’s also very crucial that he even managed to feel some amount of jealousy about it. you feel it’s akin to an important stepping stone in your newfound relationship.

you didn’t think atsumu had it in himself to fall for you genuinely, like ever. you knew yourself as someone who was easy to swoon, but with him, you weren’t so sure. while atsumu might not be as easy to please as you are, he sure is whipped for you. at least, you hope he is, and you’re finding it rather amusing, so you crack up into a laugh as you turn to the tap with the empty pot in your hand. you release some water into the pot, still stuck in laughter.

“don’t laugh, yn.” he frowns, pulling up to you as he embraces you from the hind side, resting his chin on the top of your head. you whisper, placing the pot down, “so clingy, baby.”

“let me go.” you whine, shifting in place as you forward a plea for atsumu to set you free, but he doesn’t grant you liberty. you’re still caged in his arms.

he shifts his neck to kiss you on the cheek, denying you freedom from his hold, “no.”

“i know you only asked me to convince him for work, but the very thought of you working alongside omiomi makes me very insecure, and very jealous.” atsumu admits, proceeding to kiss you on the cheek again, then again and once again, almost making you giggle because of how ticklish his breath against your skin feels.

you take your hand off the pot you put on the counter, navigating to settle a grip on atsumu’s cheek. you squish it, giggling as you coo, “you’re my big baby, aren’t you?”

atsumu kisses you again, mumbling, “yea, i am.”

“i’m sorry i got all grumpy over your request and ignored you.” he apologises, tightening his embrace over you, but it doesn’t feel suffocating. it’s warm, atsumu smells like home, and you like this very much. he smells like cheap dollar store perfume and umeboshi stuffed in onigiri, but that’s just like home to you, you suppose.

“please forgive me, i love you.”

you flee his hold, turning around in order to face him, and put your arms around his waist. the truth is, looking into his teary eyes, you want to laugh. this is so uncustomary of atsumu, you don’t know where to begin or how to explain it to the world around you if it were to ask you for an explanation. not that it ever would. perhaps he always had this side to him placed superficially, or maybe it was you who dug it out from his depths. whatever the history of its existence or origin is, you know you want it to flicker bright so that you’re always reassured. sounds a little selfish, a lot actually, but the version of your boyfriend that’s terrified of losing you is just too sweet to not shine for you.

you put your head again his chest, inching closer to him, noticing once again that he smells like the cheap perfume you gifted him on your forty five day anniversary. it wasn’t cheap by any means, but for a millionaire like atsumu, any perfume off the convenience store shelves is akin to something that’s below his standard. you’re glad he still chose to wear it though.

atsumu let’s a little sob escape his lips as he puts his arms around you to hold you close to him, burying his face into the side of your neck. you speak up, beginning an ode to reassurance, “you know i love you, right?”

you go on, “for me, you’re my everything right now.”

“i’m sorry if i ever made it seem like getting with kiyoomi was my goal. it never was.” you apologise, detaching yourself from atsumu, taking a step back while still holding onto him.

“you have nothing to be jealous of, anata, i love you. just you.” you assure him, but you can’t bring yourself to look him in the eye, you’re just too sappy for eye contact right now.

“so don’t cry.” you ask him not to let his insecurity get the best of him, but really, you’re on the verge of tears yourself. you don’t know if these are happy tears or a product of something that genuinely upset you about this situation, but you can feel the liquid brimming at the corner of your eyes, ready to gush down your cheeks. you’re quick to retreat, huffing out a breath as you recompose yourself and somehow get yourself to gaze into his eyes.

“i know all that, yn.” atsumu nods, wiping off his own tears, increasing the distance between the two of you as he walks back to grab his own pot to fill it up with enough water to boil a packet of noodles.

you put your own pot on the stove, followed by atsumu’s, turning up the flame, convincing him, “the point is, you don’t have to be jealous.”

“it’s just that i need to get this interview done somehow. my job is on the line here, anata, and i need kiyoomi for the interview to happen.” you reason with him, turning the knob of the stove to accentuate the flame, and atsumu follows in your steps.

you don’t have to explain the circumstances to him or reason the whole situation with him or even walk an extra mile to convince him about the importance of this job. you think most of it is self explanatory, and if he hadn’t let jealousy overtake his form, he would’ve never found himself ignoring you, then apologising for being irrational like that. to think you’re both adults but fail to act like ones sometimes seems unbelievable to you, and neither of you really want to defend yourself over it, or so it goes.

“i know.” he sighs, fidgeting with his packet of ramen that he slit open earlier, “i know it’s important to you.”

“i just let my emotions get the best of me.” he accepts, dropping the cake of uncooked noodles into the pot filled with water approaching its boiling point. he exhales yet again, “i get it. i’m sorry.”

you release your own noodles in the boiling water, telling him, “i only got to put off this responsibility for so long because there was no set deadline.”

“but now that the project manager is biting my head off, i need to get it done.” you shrug, sighing as you select a spoon out of the several erected in the stand. you grab onto one, and put some pressure against the brick of noodles to break it up.

you offer the spoon to atsumu. he grabs it but sets it down on the counter, understanding, “yea, i know, yn.” you suppose he isn’t exactly a fan of breaking up the cake of noodles.

“i never really told you the reason i was drinking by myself the other night, did i?” you surmise, looking at atsumu, who nods in agreement to your words.

he lifts the spoon from the counter, stirring the water boiling around his cake of noodles, watching as the noodles begin to separate, dispersing into a cynical laugh, “no, you didn’t. i only asked you a hundred times if not more.”

“that’s too little considering my reason.” you join in, laughing at yourself in pity as you move away from the counter and towards your boyfriend, falling closer to atsumu’s figure, latching onto his waist.

he doesn’t really question your motive, instead, atsumu holds onto you too, mumbling, “hey, you, look who’s being clingy now.” he chuckles, warranting a wide smile from your end.

“i might be getting ahead of myself, but i figured your drinking spree the other day had something to do with omiomi.” he speculates, largely knowing that he’s right, one hand leaving your skin in order to stir the noodles in the pot.

you speak up, still clinging onto him, requesting, “stir mine too, please.”

“you’re right.” you dispel his doubt, continuing, “i talked to kiyoomi myself, but that was extremely stupid of me to do.” you chuckle to yourself as you note your naivety, wondering about the specifics of what you were expecting from kiyoomi when you decided to have a conversation with him directly. you mumble, “he ended up bringing up the past.”

atsumu only listens and hums at your narration. there isn’t much reaction on his end for the first few seconds, then he murmurs rather aggressively, “that asshole.”

you think his reaction is valid considering kiyoomi should’ve heard you out first instead of picking a fight with you. then again, you’ve been notorious for the same shit on a different day, so you think you’re in no position to be the judge of the circumstances here. atsumu on the other hand, you concur, is more suited for the same.

he drops the spoon onto the countertop, allowing both his arms to circle your body again, and kisses your forehead, apologising even though it isn’t his fault at all, “i’m sorry that happened.” there’s no reason for him to apologise, you know it’s just for the formality, but you appreciate that coming from him nonetheless. it certainly makes you feel a little better.

“we ended up getting into a fight, and i just couldn’t stop myself from buying alcohol.” you confess, laughing in between words because now that you look back on the sequence of events, there’s a realisation that drinking was unnecessary. it was the only thing you could’ve avoided the other night. your anger towards his words, harsh words to kiyoomi from your end, the fight between the two of you, even the genesis of an unstable conversation with him was inevitable.

atsumu sighs, grabbing your arms to push your body away from his own. he holds you firmly, looking you in the eye, rigorous in his tone, “so you thought the best way to get over a fight with your ex boyfriend is to drink not one, not two, but four bottles of soju?”

“gosh, you’re funny, yn.” atsumu laughs, pulling you closer to himself, and you pertain the proximity. he rubs your back, chin pressed against the top of your head, remarking, “you’re so stupid.”

you agree as you release yourself from atsumu’s caging arms, falling behind to lean against the kitchen counter, eyeing the boiling water, “i know it wasn’t the best decision to make or a good enough coping mechanism.”

“but i was so so pissed and i couldn’t think of anything else.” you shrug, shifting positions to grab the packet of spice and seasoning to cut it open next.

you take a hold of the pair of scissors lying astray somewhere on the countertop, slicing the pouch open, muttering to yourself, “at least nothing other than soju or you.”

“you should’ve picked me instead.” atsumu says, having heard your words spoken in an undertone, frowning as he snatches the pair of scissors from you to cut his own pouch of spices.

you invert the pouch, allowing the powder to drop into the pot, reasoning, “i didn’t want to cause any more trouble than i already had.”

“not after shoyou specifically asked me not to.”

you turn to your side to look him in the eye, crossing your arms, grumbling, “because apparently, neither you, nor kiyoomi were cooperating at the practice.”

“so i told myself the best way to avoid any more problems is to drink it off, but clearly, i failed.”

you exhale, opening the clutch as you allow your hair to flow loose, collecting them together again to tie them up, whispering to yourself, “i still ended up getting you involved.”

“not like any of that drinking was worth it.” you shrug, using the ladle to mix the spices with the softened noddles and the water.

atsumu steps closer to you, putting his arm on your back, rubbing circles to reassure you, claiming, “you don’t have to feel responsible for that yn.”

“omiomi and i are adults who should’ve known better.” he defends you, drawing you closer to himself, kissing the side of your head. you turn in place, balancing yourself on your toes to kiss him back before you proceed to check on the noodles.

atsumu turns off the stove once he confirms the ramen has cooked properly. you follow into his actions, checking your own pot of noodles before turning off the flame. he uses a kitchen cloth to lift his pot and moves it to your kitchen island where he supposes you’ll be feasting. he crooks forward to take in the smell of the ramen, mentioning, “plus none of that matters now since the starting line up has changed.”

you lift your own pot using a cloth in order to bring it to the island, but atsumu’s words stir up some concern within you. you end up hoping for the best, asking, “what do you mean?” although you think you know where this is going. somewhere you definitely wouldn’t want it to.

“i’m no longer the official setter this game season.” he tells you, pulling out two chairs for the two of you to take a seat, adding, “they’re letting the new guy set.”

“he’s pretty good.” atsumu praises musubi’s fourteen, nodding to himself in agreement, “his synergy with shoyou kun and omiomi is great as well.”

he walks up next to you, and opens one of the cabinets to grab two pairs of chopsticks and some napkins, clarifying his previous statement so that you don’t think anything inappropriate, “they really need omiomi on the line up this season.”

you can’t help but feel a void expanding within your abdomen. all the vestiges of hunger awaiting the ramen to be cooked evaporated just as quick as they showed up, when atsumu’s revelation was made. you know atsumu and kiyoomi should’ve known better, that they’re adults who shouldn’t have fought over a woman, allowing that squabble to interfere with their game.

now that you know your boyfriend was the ultimate sacrifice as a result of their petty quarrel, shoyou’s words are pressing against your grey matter, practically drilling holes at this point. so far, you’ve never reconsidered your relationship or your love for atsumu. really, even in doubt, you’ve never considered turning back time to undo everything. but now, maybe, even if it’s just a small part of yourself, you’re reconsidering ever letting yourself become a part of atsumu’s life.

“i’m sorry, atsumu, it’s all my fault.” you put the pot of ramen back onto the stove, turning around to bow down in a sincere apology to him, speaking under your breath, “i should’ve never let this relationship happen.”

atsumu sighs, surprised at your words as he walk up to you, patting your back, “come on, get up already.”

“stop saying weird stuff.” he stoops down to look you in the eye, urging you to look forward and drop the matter at hand.

“it’s not your fault.” he stands to his feet, paving his way towards the stove. he lifts your pot of ramen and puts it right next to his own on the island, scolding you, “stop saying shit like that.”

“i chose to give up the position voluntarily.” he makes it quite clear to you with his stern words, hopping onto a chair, patting the one next to him, gesturing you to take a seat as well.

when you don’t move from your spot, staring at him in utter silence and suffocating guilt, atsumu gets down from his seat, taking you by the hand, dragging you closer to your seat. he forces you onto the chair, warning, “if you don’t stop feeling guilty about something you aren’t responsible for, i’ll eat all your ramen too.”

atsumu presses a kiss against your forehead, placing the pair of chopsticks in front of you, repeating, putting enough pressure on his words, “i chose to give up my position voluntarily, yn. stop blaming yourself.”

“why would you do that?” you ask, voice barely a whisper, then, you practically shout at him, yapping, “are you an idiot, anata?!”

“shh, i did it for you.” atsumu shushes at you, putting one of his hands against your shoulder to calm you down, explaining, “and for the team. they really need omiomi in the starting line up. they can play the season without me.”

“i’ll play in the next one.” he says, slurping a handful of noodles, and you wonder how he’s had his appetite going for days. you wonder how atsumu doesn’t feel like it’s the end of the world, whereas if it were you, you would be screaming louder in agony each passing day. you wonder if he’s actually bothered by it, if he’s just pretending to be okay. but most of all, you wonder if there is anything within him that hates you for this.

“before you think the worst you can, no, i do not hate you.” he pacifies your concern pressuring the denial. although you never said it aloud, he knows that is what must be on your mind right now. he heartens your mood, confessing, “in fact, i’ve never been in love as much as i am right now, yn.”

“so why don’t you start digging in as well?” atsumu prompts you, getting off his chair and proceeds to embrace you from the back. he kisses you on the cheek, making your skin feel ticklish, allowing a slight smile to incise your lips.

you nod, smiling as you sigh, “alright, i will. get back to your seat now.” he obeys, reclaiming his seat and proceeds to slurp his noodles. you dig into your own bowl as well.

“if there’s anything you want to feel guilty about so desperately, you can feel bad about asking me to convince omiomi for you.” atsumu suggests, then backs you up, “but you don’t have to feel bad about that either.”

“you don’t have to feel bad about anything.” he says, turning around to look at you, noticing you’re teary eyed but also smiling because of just how reassuring and sweet he is to you even when in crisis himself.

“i’ll feel really really bad about that for a long time, tsumi, don’t worry.” you purse you lips, voice breaking as you speak. there’s a tear toppling down your cheek.

“hey now, no crying.” atsumu orders you, pulling out a tissue to wipe the tears pooling at your eyes. he pulls your cheek, mentioning, “you know i think that’s cliche.” you roll your eyes, almost allowing yourself to laugh, when atsumu leans nearer to kiss you.

you request, taking his hand in your own, gently smiling at him as he draws himself away from you, “forget i ever asked that.”

“no, i thought about it for a while, and i’m going to do it for you.” atsumu tells you, letting your guilt overweigh you furthermore, but his proceeding words abolish the part of it that was loading against your chest. he continues, “i think i can do that much for my girlfriend.”

“at least one of us deserves to do our job right without inviting much trouble.”

you say, your own hand clutching his tighter as you lay your head on the cold surface of the island, still facing him, “you don’t have to.”

“but i want to.” he rests his own head against the marble top, blinking at you in reassurance, a kind smile stretching his lips.

you mutter, trying to convince him once again not to do this for you, not to let himself do you a favour when you’ve only ruined his opportunity, “don’t do this, tsumi.”

“i’m going to make sure omiomi agrees to work with you without bringing up your past.” atsumu withdraws his own hand from your soft embrace, lifting his head from the island so that he can inch closer to your face.

you bring yourself closer to him as well, holding his face in the clasp of your palms as you kiss his upper lip, whispering against his skin, “but this isn’t a fair deal, anata.”

“love isn’t about striking deals, yn.” he mumbles, kissing you back, reassuring as he strokes your cheek, “at least mine isn’t.”

atsumu whispers in your ear, hands shifting to hold your back, “but if there’s something you want to do for me in return, i want you to keep on loving me until we decide we want to stop skipping stones and finally settle down.”

“mhm.” you hum, nodding, hugging him tighter and caging his warm body close to your own.

you stay like this for a few minutes, two bowls of half eaten ramen left to bite the cold on the kitchen island, chopsticks drenched in soup leaning wet against the edge of the bowl, a comfortable kind of silence surrounding the two of you. the silence that speaks of overflowing love, whispering promises of forever to you. you think you like whatever this is. you can reheat the ramen whenever you want to, but for now, you think you need this more. the kind of love you’ve been looking for all over the place.

atsumu giggles in your ears, looking back on your conversation, mentioning, “you called me anata several times.”

“i did.” you agree, humming, not joining in on the laughter, because personally, you don’t find anything funny. you’re just loving being held so close by the love of your life. you might as well be in biblically inaccurate heaven. that’s one way to put it.

he teases, reminding you, “that’s what you call your partner when you’re married.”

“i know, but it’s not that deep.” you roll your eyes, defending yourself, “i thought it has a nice ring to it.”

“okay. it does” he agrees, clicking his tongue, swaying you in his arms as he kisses you on the head again. you’ve lost a count at this point.

“i know.” you sigh, letting yourself be rocked as your shift in position to nuzzle up even closer to him.

“don’t worry, i like it.” he mentions, whispering to you, “very much.”

you smile at his words, whispering back, “i know you do.”

“what about the ramen?”

“we can heat it up later.”

“okay.”

↬ PART 44 : skipping stones

↬ word count : 6.7k (sorry, i got carried away)

↬ A/N : so this called me lonely and miserable in fifty different languages. this was my attempt at making you guys fall for atsumu and warm up to him. please realise that my man is being genuine. tell me it worked to some extent so that i can finally live in peace with myself and ruin it all soon.

PLAYLIST

PREVIOUS - MASTERLIST - NEXT

✦ taglist (open) : @wolffmaiden @k444zuha @kurooloveschurroo @duchess-l @tobiot4life @thoskyrn @kittycasie @yachisupremacy @ladle-things @suhaaaefre @saaraunicorn @midnight-drives-with-sunarin @mitsuki-simp @karasunoya @hangecanweholdhands @kiyoomimybeloved @scrawled-in-ink @ixej @softtashoney @sukunasrealgf @erintaro @rntrsuna @rukia-uchiha-98 @hypernovaxx @whore-for-eddie @yeletbz @hxked @kotsubano @awaitingdoom @mxlkytea13 @brkfclub @dazaisfavgf

#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu smau #atsumu smau #sakusa smau #atsumu x reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x you #sakusa x you #sakusa x reader #sakusa x y/n #sakusa fanfiction #atsumu fanfic

198 notes · View notes

myimaginarywonderland · 1 year

Text

With Charles recent story, I think it's time we talk about something that is a huge problem that many don't acknowledge or just that hasn't fully sunk in yet.

But with the behaviour of those disgusting fans, it is once again clear why Sebastian Vettel was right not to use social media until he retired.

The way in which F1 drivers not only can interact with fans but are also "marketed" is a huge contributer to this dismissing of boundaries.

Let me explain.

Lando for example for some of us was literally a twitch dude before an F1 driver. This is nothing against him doing that but it just shows how obscure the drivers have become in the public eye.

I first saw Lando when I got onto Twitch and now knowing what Twitch and streaming is like, I can not believe that he was allowed to do it because boundaries get so blurred there. The line between streamers and audience has become more and more obscure because most streamers either have very small communities where there definitely is a lot of knowing each other to some degree or they are so big but have established themselves that there is a kind of line thar can be pushed. Many streamers will have fans make out of line comments, make inappropriate statements etc. That is because quiet a few streams go off that energy, they use it for entertainment. They know how to play their audience. Lando has never received that because he never built an audience the way streamers did. And now, with Twitch having become so big and for people like me then not knowing that Lando was actual a professional athelet, it is assumed that this kind of energy might also be there for him. Add onto that the fact that there is now a new form of journalism where even non-professionals can push to ask questions about racing and you get absolute fucking chaos because it's kind of blurred between people just wanting to watch a dude stream and F1 fans especially younger ones flooding with race related questions.

And the worst instigator for this phenomenon is also without a doubt drive to survive. The way there are stories made up, fights and radios out of context, the way it is shoot like an actual TV Show to where some people genuinely question if this is about athletes or made up characters, this serious has made the problem far worse especially when they compleltly ignore drivers and want to make some drivers the bad guys when in actuality, there is no fucking bad guys. This is a sport, not a novel.

Sure, there's different kinds of drivers but there's no such thing as a bad guy because this is a real actual sport.

These are actual multifacted people that, believe it or not, can all be assholes from time to time and all will be ugly at some point when it comes to achieving the championship.

But the Netflix has made this straight up fictional perspective of real people, compeltly influences newer fans perception.

The amount of times I have heard new fans surprised that Lance isn't actual dead last every race or Max isn't the devil in person, is genuinely mind blowing.

This warped perception added together with access to social media complelty forges a picture to younger fans.

I don't excuse their behavior but sometimes I admit that it can be hard to realise that this parasonical relationship is compeltly one sided and that actually, you don't know them at all and your entire perception might be based an made up information.

It's the same shit people had to realise when some YouTuber fan bases got out of hand.

Except that it should never be this way because these are athletes. These aren't people who put out content for entertainment, these are actual racing drivers fighting for a world championship.

But, with the way they are marketed and with the way F1 is marketing itself more as a spectacle than an actual racing competition, it's hard to see that especially when you are younger and only just discovering F1.

There's no excuse for the behavior but there is a reason, an underlying problem that needs solving before we get to the point that some YouTuber fandoms escalated to.

There's an issue that won't be addressed because F1 is straining further from a sport and drifting more towards an entertainment show like WWE or just straight up fictional stories.

#f1

4 notes · View notes

yarns-and-d20s · 2 days

Text

Baldur's Gate III: What Is Canon, Anyway?

So it's been a little bit since I did an Astarion romance run, and I just got to the lovely little scene after Araj, and my boy Asher gave Astarion his lovely little hug and they had a lovely little time holding hands. However...

With my dialogue choices, Astarion said nothing about not having sex with Asher for the time being. He didn't say the line about not wanting to be seen in terms of sex.

So... is the abstinence period until after the conclusion of Astarion's personal questline canon for this version of the Baldur's Gate III story or not? It hasn't been established.

(If I'm extremely wrong about when that's supposed to trigger, I'll just go ahead and delete this instead of being publicly humiliated to the point where I need to walk into the ocean.)

I suppose, since social media is like this, I must disclaim that while I don't need all my fanfiction and fanart to strictly adhere to canon because my personal belief is that fanfiction and fanart is for playing games of "what if". However, I don't think you're invalid for wanting all your fan creations to be 100% canon-compliant. You do you, so long as you let me do me.

So: what am I to take as canon on this? Is it canon because it's buried somewhere in there if you say all the right things? Is it canon because it's in the devnotes? Or is it not canon because it didn't happen in this playthrough?

This is one of the things I find really curious about this fandom, especially in terms of Astarion himself. It is possible to not see a lot of things in this game. Is the destruction of the Emerald Grove canon? Is it canon to free certain characters from their cults? Are certain missable characters, events, and interactions canon even if players never meet or do or experience them? Or is it dependent on player and playthrough?

As far as this particular version, let's call it the AsherVerse, is concerned, there's no pause on the physical intimacy of Asher and Astarion's relationship. I can imagine that there is, I suppose, but it appears it doesn't canonically happen in the AsherVerse.

Sure, we can have personal knowledge of every possible outcome of every possible choice. Sure, one can be the kind of person who looks at the notes in the script and know the intentions behind them. But, y'know, something something death of the author.

Is the AsherVerse less valid than the various OtherCharacterVerses in which Astarion says the line about putting the breaks on the physical aspect of the relationship? Or am I allowed to see it as just as valid without someone telling me I'm not respecting a fictional character's boundaries?

Are other fans having incorrect interpretations of certain things in this game, or are they just not seeing every option and not obsessive enough to read devnotes, and having a good time with the canon established by their own choices? Are we deciding they're not valid for not seeing everything that's there? Are we deciding that only certain dialogue options and choices are canon and must adhere strictly to those options and not others, making death of the author impossible with this grown-up game for grown-ups?

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion bg3 #bg3 tav #astarion romance #fandom meta

1 note · View note

racersarena · 1 year

Text

Unleash the Power of Yamaha with the Elite Motorcycle Suit

In the thrilling world of motorcycling, every rider knows the importance of safety, style, and performance. When it comes to pushing the boundaries on the track or conquering the open road, having the right gear can make all the difference. That's where Racers Arena LTD steps in, offering motorcycle enthusiasts a piece of perfection with their top-of-the-line product: the Motorcycle Suit Yamaha.

Racers Arena LTD, a name synonymous with innovation and quality, has established itself as a premier destination for motorcycle gear and accessories. Their Motorcycle Suit Yamaha is a testament to their commitment to excellence, combining advanced technology, impeccable design, and the iconic Yamaha brand to create a masterpiece that riders across the globe have come to rely on.

Safety is paramount in the world of motorcycle racing, and the Yamaha Racing Suit doesn't compromise. Crafted with precision and using the finest materials, this suit provides riders with the ultimate protection they need, allowing them to focus on their passion without worrying about their safety. With strategically placed armor, reinforced stitching, and advanced impact absorption technology, riders can confidently take on any challenge, whether it's the track or the toughest terrains.

Beyond safety, the Motorcycle Suit Yamaha also offers unparalleled comfort. Racers Arena LTD understands that a comfortable rider is a focused rider. The suit is designed to provide an ergonomic fit, giving riders the freedom to move effortlessly while maintaining a streamlined aerodynamic profile. The attention to detail extends to ventilation, ensuring riders stay cool during those intense rides.

The aesthetics of the Motorcycle Suit Yamaha are nothing short of stunning. Adorned with the iconic Yamaha branding, this suit isn't just about performance; it's about making a statement. Riders not only feel like champions but look like champions too, turning heads wherever they go. The sleek design, attention-grabbing colors, and flawless craftsmanship reflect the passion that Racers Arena LTD puts into every product they create.

But Racers Arena LTD isn't just a business; it's a community. They understand the bond that riders share, the camaraderie that comes from a shared passion. With the Motorcycle Suit Yamaha, riders become part of something bigger, a network of enthusiasts who demand the best and settle for nothing less. Racers Arena LTD brings this community together, providing not just a product but an experience.

In the world of motorcycle gear, the name "Racers Arena LTD" stands tall, and their Motorcycle Suit Yamaha is a testament to their dedication to perfection. It's more than just a suit; it's a symbol of a lifestyle, a commitment to pushing boundaries, and a tribute to the thrill of the ride. When you choose Racers Arena LTD, you're not just getting a product; you're joining a family of riders who share your passion for excellence and the exhilarating world of motorcycling. Unleash your inner racer with the Motorcycle Suit Yamaha, and experience the thrill like never before.

0 notes

captnjacksparrow · 3 years

Note

Hello Sparrow👋 Do you know or think Sasuke visited or socialised with Team Taka members after he rejoined Naruto. Do you have any manga panels or headcanons? I think about this alot because it bothers me that he almost killed and abandoned them after they all put their life on the line for each other. 😞 I think Sasuke would be a little happier if he had friends outside of just his boyfriend er..uh i mean bestfriend but maybe I'm just projecting because I'm a social person. It still rubs me the wrong seeing him abandon loyal people like that. They didn't deserve it.

Sasuke never socialized with Team Taka after Chapter 699 because there's no Manga Panels from Gaiden or scenes from Boruto to show that he had any connections with them. Well, he didn’t had any connection with Team 7 either... So, there's that.

But it seems, most of times the fandom goes Gung-ho about Team 7 and Team Taka as an equivalent to this Team from Harry Potter or Avengers where everyone are connected with each other in the same wave-length with the same magnitude of feelings and would go to any extent to protect each other...

But, that's not true at all....

You can equate Team Minato or Team Ino-Shika-Cho with Avengers or Harry Potter.... But don't do it with Team 7 or Team Taka... It's a big insult to those great movies. Because be it Naruto or Sasuke, their feelings towards their Team was always Inconsistent and Confusing and that's what I am going to write as to what are their true feelings about their Team.

[[Lengthy and panel heavy post.... Read at your Best time.... I advise Team 7 Fanatics to stop reading right here...]]

TEAM HEBI/TAKA - SASUKE'S PERSPECTIVE

I must say... I would go with Team Taka at any given day than that Awful Team 7 mainly because of ‘You Know Who I am talking About’ person... However, without bringing in my personal bias... I’ll try to be as objective as possible..

I think Sasuke established his boundary quite clearly when he formed Team Hebi/Taka....

"There's no need to get along especially well... But Work together..."

We have an Objective.... We work together.... And that’s all. And their Objective is...

Unlike Anime, where they added some extra scenes he spent with them to show some bonding.... In the Manga, there were none... But it was implied that he had known them ever since he went to Orochimaru...

“I’ve been planning for this ever since I came to Orochimaru.... I picked you all out a long time ago..”

Well, Suigetsu and Karin seems to know Sasuke since long time back... So, there’s that. And during the time they pursue Itachi, he reinforced this idea as to why he formed this team again....

“I only formed this team to make sure no one would interfere when I finally found him...”

Up until this point, there is no sign of Sasuke being emotionally invested in his team... Neither does his other team members. Except for Karin, who was seen wetting for Sasuke whenever she gets the chance. Jugo seems to be invested in S because he thinks S is the reincarnation of Kimimaro. Suigetsu is with S because he wants Kisame’s Samehada. So, Everyone is here in this team for their own purpose.

After Itachi’s Truth reveal, Team Hebi got renamed into Team Taka and it’s goal was to destroy Konoha.

Even still, Sasuke said he was only going to kill the elders in front of his Team, In reality he was really planning to destroy it as a whole.... I don’t know why he has to make secret plan behind his own team... So, for whatever reason, he wasn’t willing to fully reveal his ambitions to them either....

And this panel is the clear indication that he joined Akatsuki to gain more power and using Team Taka’s power to obtain it.

However his feelings takes a Nice turn during his fight with Killer Bee.

On seeing Suigetsu, Karin and Jugo were desperately trying to save Sasuke from every attacks, made Sasuke to turn soft.... He even went onto awaken a Flame Control Jutsu to save Karin from Amaterasu despite being pushed into a difficult situation...

And after the Battle, when they were in a secret hideout to heal their injuries, Jugo acknowledges that they’ve all became close friends. But, Sasuke didn’t say anything to that....

However, Again Sasuke’s attitude towards Team Take went to Square 1... During the Kage Summit Arc

“I don’t need you two”

“Forget them, Take me to Danzou!”

Now it get’s even worse because he didn’t care about Jugo and Suigetsu at all... It doesn’t mean that he cares about Karin or something... It’s just that he need to achieve his Goal of killing Danzo and he didn’t like anyone coming in his way or be a burden.... For now, He needs Karin’s help to track Danzou....

But, even with Karin.... All those team camaraderie got flown away after this moment... Not only this, but he again decided to finish her off with Chidori before Sakura came before him and distracted him from doing that...

And the final nail in the Coffin...

“What could you people possibly want from me now?”

Atleast during the Kage Summit Arc, Sasuke was engulfed in his Hatred and has travelled to the edge of the Blood Lust... So, His Hatred can be cited as the reason for his act towards his Team... But at this point of time.... Sasuke was at his sound and clear mind, especially after his time with Itachi... But Sasuke acts like he has nothing to do with either Suigetsu or Juugo...

All these panels, shows that Sasuke had no emotional connection with any of his Team members at any point of time. He formed a team to achieve his Objective and while fighting one of his battle, he saved their life as a Comrade in return for their life-saving effort by pulling him out of Danger multiple times.

While Team Taka was so devoted to him... Sasuke didn’t feel the same way about them even till the very end... And I would say, he just saw them as just another short timed Comrades with a ‘I help you, And You help me’ dynamics with no strong feelings from Sasuke’s side....

TEAM 7 - SASUKE’S PERSPECTIVE

This is going to be lengthy.... And I hate it...

Every time, I see this team, it just makes me extremely annoyed to the point of no return... I mean, Yeah... I love Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi.... But together as a Team.... It’s just pure cringe at it’s best... [[I liked Team 7 during Kakuzu-Hidan Arc though...]]

[[In your Workplace, if you happen to end up in a Team that’s similar to Team 7... Show your Middle Finger, Turn 180 degree and run away... Because it’s totally an Asshole team]].

“3 man Team??? That only means more people in my way...”

This panel perfectly represents Sasuke’s mindset and his inherent characteristics... Which remained till the very end... It shows that he doesn’t like to work with other people who can hinders his Goals....

“After Lunch, we’ll work together and get the Bells... Without Food he’ll just be in the way and will only hurt us...”

I really thought Sasuke was doing this to upheld Team Spirit!!!! Let’s just say, he did it for the sake of the Team.... For now.... I’ll make a call back towards the very end of the post....

Here, Sasuke was worrying about Sakura’s crying noise from somewhere else and was wondering ‘What’s Kakashi doing??!!’.... At the same time, he was also worrying about Naruto who is next to him who got knocked out flat... It totally looks like Sasuke was truly worried about his Team mates.... 🍅

Sasuke being perceptive about Sakura’s nervousness before the start of Chunin Exams and it’s because of this he went on to acknowledge her skills in Genjutsu and Analytical Ability after this scene... 🍅

This panel totally gives off the vibe that all Team 7 members putting up their strong front to win this Chunin Exams... 🍅🍅

Again... Sasuke worrying about Sakura and asking her to be careful.... 🍅🍅

The Boy who once said ‘Team mates would only burden me...’ is now desperately protecting his teammate to the point of how to escape together from Orochimaru... 🍅🍅

Actually, here... Sasuke got the resolve to fight Orochimaru right after Naruto reminded Sasuke to not be a Stupid Coward.... and Sakura surprisingly defended Naruto for the first time in this series... 🍅🍅

Once again.... Sasuke was willing to put his life for Team 7 and asks Naruto to escape along with Sakura... He even acknowledges that both of them are his Precious Comrades....🍅🍅🍅

These are the panels where Kakashi was reminding him that he got some precious companions to protect instead of pursuing revenge... 🍅🍅🍅

A Painfully emotional farewell for Team 7... It’s definitely visible from his eyes... 🍅🍅🍅

For the final time... Sasuke was thinking about his teammates when Sakura was telling him that, “Without you, I’ll be very lonely...” Which signifies that, Sasuke feels lonely without Naruto and Sakura....🍅🍅🍅 [[Don’t cringe!!]]

“It’s true that there was a time when I thought that was my road....”

At First watch, I thought Sasuke was saying these lines as a mere excuse when in reality he never strayed away from the path of Revenge.... But only during rewatch I understood that he meant what he said about living a peaceful life with his comrade(s).... Just scroll above and see all the moments marked with Tomato emoticon.... All those moments are something where Sasuke set aside his personal goal and was fighting for other people, his Team mates...

LOL... It almost looks like an SS post, doesn’t it??? Well, that was intentionally done on purpose.

Anyway... All these panels proves that Sasuke cared so much about his team mates and was making a painful decision to leave everyone of them. Both Naruto and Sakura.

Or Atleast... that’s what I thought....

Until he did this....

Like Come On!!! There’s no way, you can deride your Team Mate like this, when just some hours ago, you thought that person as your Precious Comrade... It doesn’t even make sense....

Okay... Let’s just assume, Sasuke made a painful resolve to cut off his Teammates in order to pursue his Goal and hence he is acting like he hates Sakura here. Right. Perfect. Understood.

If that’s the case, Shouldn’t he show the same attitude with Naruto as well????

But somehow with Naruto, there was no mockery or hurtful words or disrespect... Yes, he did pierce his Chidori into Naruto’s chest and tried to kill him multiple times after that. But his emotions were totally different from what he says out loud and I’m not going to go into more detail on that.

To simply put, he couldn’t cut his bond with Naruto.

After this, there’s no panel or scene that shows how Sasuke felt about Team 7 for a very long time... because he left the Village...

And then, during one of the most important moment... While trying to save Team Taka.... He thought about Team 7 and awakened Amaterasu...

Sasuke remembers that during his Genin Days, he wasn’t alone.... This shows that Sasuke still couldn’t able to forget his Old Life with Team 7 despite putting up a cold and an aloof facade towards them in Orochimaru Lair...

But this feeling didn’t last though... Because,

He went on to do this...

this....

and this....

Not to mention, he said this without any hesitation....

“In case you forgot, I’m Ex-Team 7...”

Just before this Arc, he thought about Team 7 and awakened Amaterasu... But immediately after that arc, he didn’t even hesitate to kill the teammates from that very team... And to even add more salt to the injury he says, he doesn’t belong to Team 7 anymore... Well, I knew this fact from the moment he decided to leave the Village. So, Sasuke doesn’t have to pronounce it out loud...

But why thinking about a Team he no longer belongs to??? And when push comes to the shove, why killing them like some flies as if he never had any emotional attachment with them???

And after this... During the War Arc, Team 7 had it’s stupid moment when they pulled that Three-Way deadlock thing by summoning Toad, Snake and Slug... To be honest, it looked very cool with Jiraiya, Orochimaru and Tsunade in Part 1... Team 7 looked super awful and cringey...

And after that Team 7 picture makes an appearance in....

Here, Sasuke exclusively slashes Naruto’s image out of this picture...

People make stupid theories that Sasuke only wanted to cut off Naruto out of Team 7 and he wanted to keep Sakura and Kakashi by his side... Well, Initially I thought that way too... But at the same time I also thought, what did Naruto do to incite such a Wrath from Sasuke??? And what the hell Sakura did for him to keep her by his Side while just before this arc, he tried to kill her twice in his defense??? It seriously doesn’t make any sense...

But this feeling didn’t last though.... Because right after that,

Sasuke was very clear about his feelings towards Team 7 here.... If he truly wanted to keep Sakura & Kakashi alive by his side and cut Naruto out of his life, Shouldn’t Sasuke have planned to save S & K and leave N to die????

Not to mention, he called Sakura and Kakashi as Useless while they were being protected under the Susanoo.... Like, none of these Team 7 Bullshit makes any sense... Ever since he left the Village, I’ve never seen him react positively towards either Sakura or Kakashi at any point of time.... But he kept on clinging onto that Team 7 Picture in some important moments....

All of these behaviour gave rise to more questions...

How come Sasuke able to keep Naruto and Sakura on the same level as his ‘Precious Comrades’ but all of a sudden he threw away Sakura like some trash but couldn’t able to do the same with Naruto???

How come Sasuke able to try to kill Kakashi & Sakura during the Kage Summit Arc but couldn’t do the same with Naruto???

How come Sasuke able to deride Sakura & Kakashi but respect Naruto, especially he kept both of them in the Same level... in Part 1??? Or at least that’s what those panels suggested to us....

How come Sasuke able to leave Sakura & Kakashi to die without any care but save Naruto exclusively from Juubi’s Tailed Beast Bombs???

How come Sasuke able to think about Team 7′s picture in important moments and kept on ignoring Sakura & Kakashi repeatedly but paying absolute attention to Naruto at all times????

The Answer to all the above questions were answered by Sasuke himself as the Chapters progressed...

“During the Mugen Tsukuyomi... Kakashi and Sakura just happened to be next to you... That’s all”

This!!!

This is almost similar to saying, “I cared about them during my Team 7 days because they happened to be in the same Team as you... That’s all...”

This can be further ascertained by this Panel....

“Whenever I would see how you were desperate to be connected to other people... It would make me think of my family...”

This is Sasuke getting reminded of his family whenever he saw Naruto was making an effort to create bonds with other people... And this is way before Team 7 was formed.... Probably around age 8 or 9....

And this panel further explains his thoughts....

To paraphrase it....

“Whenever I saw you, you reminded me of my family.... and for no reason, that would make me happy... But I thought that feeling of happiness was a kind of weakness and hence in order to not getting distracted by your presence, I trained even harder so that I could get revenge on my Brother.... And Even though I tried so hard to stay away from the weakness you instilled inside me, I ended up in the same team as you.... I got reminded of my Family again....”

Here, there is no mention of Kakashi or Sakura instilling the feeling of Family in him.... Sasuke was openly admitting that ‘I tried to stay away from you as much as possible... But you and I ended up in the same team... which brought us closer and I am feeling the presence of my family’.... And all these feelings were attributed to Naruto and Naruto alone....

And to finally seal the deal...

Sasuke’s words conveys this meaning that, ‘I saw Team 7 as the shadow of my family in Team 7...” Which means he considered Kakashi & Sakura as his family members too...

But are they equal to Naruto????

If Naruto, at age 8, already gave him the feeling of a family, what difference does the presence of Kakashi & Sakura made to him???

If he really did consider them as his own family, why is he feeling the Pain of Naruto alone, but not Sakura or Kakashi????

Be it when leaving the Village, be it in Orochimaru Lair, be it Under the Bridge, be it during the War Arc, be it during this Infinite Tsukuyomi.... In all those instances, Sasuke just failed to care about both of them.... There’s no way Sasuke could treat Kakashi & Sakura like that if he truly considered them as his family just like he felt with Naruto.....

The only answer that makes sense for all these inconsistent feelings are

Sasuke considered only Naruto as his Family while Kakashi & Sakura as the accompaniments that comes along with Team 7... Replace Kakashi or Sakura with anyone, Sasuke would still feel the same them as well. It’s more like, ‘Am going to throw away my treasured doll.... And Why the hell I should care about the Accessories that comes along with it??’

People say, he cared about Team 7 more than Team Taka... Well, he spent more time with them and hence it appears to be like that.... But even within the short amount of time he spent with Team Taka, he did this...

This is Sasuke worrying about Team taka who was going to be destroyed by Killer Bee...

Tell me, how is this any different from Sasuke asking, ‘That’s Sakura’s voice, What’s Kakashi’s doing??’ inside Haku’s Mirrors in part 1????

This is Sasuke asking his Teammates ‘Are you all okay???’, out of a genuine concern... And How is this any different from Sasuke telling Sakura, ‘Don’t just stand there... Relax for a moment and you’ll be killed’ in the Forest of the Death...????

This is Sasuke not wanting to abandon Karin to die and instead he was pushing himself to save her and awakened a new power to control the Flames....

And all of these ‘desperately trying to save his comrades’ thing reminds me of....

“It’s not that Sasuke is my Best Friend... I don’t even like him really... But like us, Sasuke is a shinobi of Konoha... He is our Comrade... Therefore I will stake my life to rescue him...”

Shikamaru is a practical person who don’t like Sasuke... Well, he doesn’t have to. But still he was willing to stake his life to rescue his comrade.... All because he belongs to Konoha. This isn’t Shikamaru being loyal to Sasuke but infact he was loyal to the Village and Sasuke just happened to belong to the Village he also belonged to... But this didn’t stop him from deciding to kill Sasuke in Part 2 during the Kage Summit Arc.... The reason being, Sasuke joined Akatsuki, an organization which reduced Konoha into dust.... And he has every good reason to come to that conclusion...

This is the same feeling Sasuke had towards Sakura, Kakashi and Team Taka... They belong to the same team as him and hence he felt the need to protect them as his Comrades... But if his Goal doesn’t match up with theirs, he wouldn’t hesitate to abandon them as he sees fit. Just like Shikamaru decided to eliminate Sasuke when he became a threat... But I’m very sure Shikamaru wouldn’t feel the same way towards Ino and Chouji...

Oh.... Am not slandering Sasuke to be the only moron to behave like this or reducing his character into a Ship Material rather than acknowledging him as a Team Player.... Naruto was also a lying moron when it comes to Team 7 and he is worse than Sasuke.... And Sakura... Well.... Sakura. She is a total Asshole too....

But just to give you an example...

This is Sakura looking at Team 7 picture and crying during Kakuzu-Hidan Arc.... Do you really think she was thinking about Naruto and Kakashi here????

Again, here... Sakura was thinking about some stupid Happy Ending for Team 7... This is totally a bullshit when in reality all she ever cared about was Sasuke.... She’ll be happy only if Sasuke came back... That’s all.... She won’t ever give 2 fucks about N or K....

Do you really think that Naruto was thinking about Team 7 spirit here??? Like he wants Sasuke back so that Team 7 can be an One-Whole Family?????

Especially he thought about Sasuke using Team 7 picture and got a resolve to work even harder....

It would be a shame if we call all of the above panels as a Team 7 moments.... Instead we can say, Naruto and Sakura were clearly using Team 7 picture to think about their Loved one.... In their case, it’s Sasuke.

And I think it’s the same with Sasuke as well....

Remember that panel where Sasuke gave his Food to Naruto during Bell test and he comes up with a reason that “Without Food, he will only be in our way..”... I’ve seen some people write endless essays about how he was the Best Team Person and he was the first person to bring Team Work in the Team 7.... LOL...

Sasuke maybe anything.... But a Best Team Player???

If that Bento offering to Naruto was something he did to uphold Team 7 spirit....

Why is he excluding Sakura in the outlined Panel and treasured this memory as something precious in his dying moments????

Yeah!!! A total team 7 Moment!!!!!

And you really think that Sasuke was feeling pain for leaving Sakura & Kakashi here ???? When in reality he never showed any pain when leaving them... Whereas

He felt immensely painful when leaving Naruto alone after VoTE1 battle....

And do you really think he was thinking about Sakura right after she said, “Without you, I’ll be very lonely”???? It’s funny that these very words were said by Sasuke to Naruto in VoTE2...

Not to mention, right after this.... He said, ‘You are Annoying’ to Sakura’s face and after this he never gave his time of his Day to her....

And similarly,

When Sasuke thought about Team 7 during Killer Bee battle....

Do you really think he was thinking about Sakura & Kakashi here as well???? Especially,

“Looking back... He wasn’t alone....!!!!”

Especially, the word ‘Alone’ is later attributed to Naruto.... and Naruto alone....

“After losing Itachi, I thought I was finally alone... But there was Naruto....”

and here....

“And now with this... I will finally be able to be alone...”

I’ll let you all decide as to who Sasuke was thinking about in all of those moments....

Not to mention, during the War Arc, he specifically slashed off Naruto’s image out of the picture....

[[FYI, During Killer Bee battle.... Unlike SS peeps, I don’t claim Sasuke was thinking about Naruto in a romantic sense..... and that’s too inappropriate... Just like how Naruto thought about Sasuke using Team 7 pic and got pumped up to cut the Waterfall... Sasuke was thinking about Naruto using Team 7 pic to motivate himself that he wasn’t alone.... And that he could protect his Team Taka comrades]]

Team 7 means something that varies for ever member...

For Sasuke, it’s a thing that brought Naruto and him together... A person, he tried so hard to avoid but couldn’t....

For Naruto, it’s a thing that brought Sasuke and him together... A person he admired and wanted his bond so badly but acted like he hated it....

For Sakura, it’s a thing that gave her the chance to interact with her crush....

Kakashi liked everyone equally.... Because it’s a team he lost when he was a child...

Except for Kakashi.... Everyone in this team has their own Agenda and has eyes only on ‘certain someone’... and they would always prioritize that ‘said person’ over the others.... NARUTO INCLUDED.... Instead of going gaga over Team 7 and bullshit, we can safely say... Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were using Team 7 as a placeholder/shield to think about/get close to their Loved ones.... For Naruto, it’s Sasuke.... For Sasuke, it’s Naruto... For Sakura, it’s Sasuke....

And that’s precisely why Team 7 sucks at multiple levels..... And gives me such a Heart Burn.... Because this is not how a Team is supposed to act... Team work don’t work in this way.

A Real team should act like this....

These are the moments which makes you truly feel like you belong to a Team... A Family.... Beautiful moments that were shared with your friends & that you could treasure those memories anytime... And that’s why when Asuma was about to die, everyone started to recollect their fun-filled moments they shared together as a team.

If only Team 7 had plenty of moments like this... Then N, S and Sakura clinging onto that pic makes absolute sense.. But in reality, there’s none. If the author could go so far as to give amazing moments like this for a Team with full of side-characters... Why didn’t he do that for Team 7 which was full of main characters????

In Team 7, All I found was one person prioritizing the Another without any strong sense of Friendship with the remaining members which irritates me to no end... Well, On a shipping sense, it was fine.... But from a regular non-shipper lens, I find this to be extremely annoying.

To conclude....

Yeah, Sasuke is a Goal-Oriented person who likes to work alone and doesn’t prefer to work with a team for the reason that they would drag him down.

He never had any friends even before the Massacre...

Neither did he bothered to make friends nor did he felt like he had no friends... He was totally content with his Family’s presence.... And once it was all gone, he got his Family’s presence again in the form of Naruto.

Unlike Madara and Obito who had the habit of throwing away their own comrades under the bus for their selfish Goals, Sasuke is not that kind of a person.... (Although he was becoming such person during the Kage summit Arc when he stabbed Karin).. For the most part, he is a person who protects his Teammates just like how Konoha Boys were ready to give up their life to rescue Sasuke.

Other than that, he never gave me the vibe of a person who would prefer to work with other people....

Here, Sasuke is rejecting the help of Naruto to work together... He would’ve accepted it if the **conditions** were much better....

IF this is the situation for Naruto, his closest bond, then I think Sasuke not contacting or abandoning Team Taka is not a big surprise tbh. Because to them, Sasuke may be a God but for him, they are just another comrades who helped him accomplish his Objectives with no emotional connect from his side....

Canonically, the only people with whom Sasuke wanted to willingly work with & felt happy were Itachi (during his fight with Kabuto), Naruto (Haku & War Arc) and Boruto (Movie & Manga)... Other than that, Sasuke is a loner, who prefers to be alone...

#sns #sasunaru #narusasu #sasunarusasu #anti team7 #This is one of the Worst team in the Media!!!!

115 notes · View notes

neocrush · 3 years

Text

— the girl groups enhypen’s gfs are in !

genre: fluff (angst on jungwon’s part) + established relationship (eventually lol)

pairings: idol!enhypen x fem!idol!reader

note: idk how to title this pls i thought of it while showering

tagging: @jeminiepabo @strwberrydinosaur

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

so yves told you to ask for some from the artist in the dressing room next to yours

you knocked on the door without looking at the sign that showed who was in there

you asked for some water bottles and heeseung went “i’ll go get it!” and ran off to go get get them

jungwon just chuckled and went “hyung’s a really huge fan of your group, he kept on singing star on the way here”

you nodded at the younger one, impressed at the fact that you were popular among idols

the tall boy came back with a whole box full of water bottles

“there’s 12 of you here right now so i figured why not get a whole box” he chuckled nervously

you giggled and smiled at the nervous boy

“thank you heeseung-ssi, i’ll take this to my members” you took the box in your hands but was taken aback on how heavy it was

“don’t worry i’ll carry it for you”

long after that you started hanging out and boom you became his gf

you couldn’t resist the charms of lee heeseung

once it was revealed that you were a couple, orbits and engenes went INSANE (in a good way ofc)

“wait so y/n DOESNT hate men????”

★ jay - aespa

OMG OMG LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BBY

you both met at school after you both debuted

everyone was gossiping around about how you were in the same class with the enhas

so like... monster rookies class

usually idols aren’t seated together but the teacher seated you and jay next to each other

causing a bunch of “oooohhhs” from your classmates

there were times were you and the enhas would leave school early due to practice or schedules

and on the way to the school gate, jay would always spark up a conversation with you

you assumed he was just very friendly

long story short he had a massive crush on you

so a few months into your friendship (which the both of you were very open about with your fans), he confesses

you were like “WAIT SO IT WASNT ONE SIDED THE WHOLE TIME”

y’all were just really blind lol pls read between the lines

anyways on to ur lovely bf !!

he’s so bold and brave around you but so shy around your members and seniors

we all know how he really respects nct (along with other sm artists) bc he covered the 7th sense with sunghoon on iland

so one day you were like “oh btw i showed taeyong sunbae you and hoon’s t7s cover”

he was like 😟 to 😧 to 😯

got all shy and was like “oh what did he say..”

you don’t know why he was acting as if he didn’t body that whole performance ????

anyway you told him that taeyong said that he and hoon did really well and that he liked how jay did his part

hid his face on the crook of your neck

“baby we should come say hi to them next time you go to sm”

“NO i will make a fool out of myself”

speaks english and japanese with giselle a lot when he isn’t occupied with you

sometimes you’d even have to ask nct’s shotaro to translate

your seniors (especially exo’s kai) adore him so so much pls protect the boy at all costs

★ jake - everglow

he was an active viewer of produce 48 and (like me) was really attached to the yuehua trainees

especially you

so when you got eliminated just before the last episode, he was devastated to say the least

he awaited your debut and when the time came he supported everglow !!!!

LOVED BON BON CHOCOLAT SO MUCH

does the killing part choreo in his room when no one’s watching lol

dies everytime you do the little “everglow” in songs

right so when he debuted in enha, he looked forward to meeting you as an idol and not a fan

when you shared a dressing room at kcontact, he couldn’t help but introduce himself to you

he mentioned he was a big fan and your heart warmed

cute boy is a fan of you? omg heart go brr brr

your members tease you and you just shake it off

that day when you got back to the dorms, you watched a bunch of enhypen videos bc you were interested in jake

you weren’t aware of how popular you were among people - let alone idols so you were surprised

you fell in love with his personality and started saying hi to him whenever you meet backstage at music shows

not long after, you develop feelings for him

you thought it was just a puppy crush but as you saw him even more, it got serious

you never actually confessed but aisha accidentally spilled the beans when he was passing by

“cmon y/n just tell him you like him because he clearly feels the same !!”

“you like me?”

“AISHA”

“that’s my queue to leave”

so she leaves you two to pour your hearts out to each other

you two become a couple and forevergenes (such a cute name omg) LOVE you two

you’re both the puppies of your group so that makes your relationship 103892x cuter

you met his parents and they adore you and even asked for your autograph

“jake used to talk about how great you are after every produce 48 episode”

“okayyyy i think that’s enough embarassing me mom”

his parents love you like their own daughter but does layla love you?

you were so nervous to meet her and was actually scared she might not like you - knowing how important layla is to jake

at first layla ignored you and jake was like “she’ll come around”

you were convinced she just doesn’t like you, until this one time you were cuddling with jake on the couch and layla comes in

you expected her to snuggle up with jake but she came to you :D

now layla is super fond of you and mrs sim would even send you pictures and videos of layla getting excited whenever you were on tv 🥺

★ sunghoon - itzy

you and the girls were at isac

the six of you were just waving at your fans and making heart signs with your hearts

on your left you saw yeji making hearts with ryujin so you wanted to do that with another member too

you felt a presence next to you and assumed it was someone from your group

spoiler alert: it wasn’t

sunghoon and sunoo were waving at engenes who just happened to be seated next to midzys

so you turned to who you thought was an itzy member, making half a heart with your hand

until you realized it wasn’t 💀

you bowed and apologized when you both looked at each other, you were scared you crossed a boundary

you bowed and apologized to the engenes who were there too

sunghoon and sunoo reassured you it was all good

after that, sunghoon couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you the entire event

when the day was coming to an end, he pulled some strings and ended up having some alone time with you ...in stray kids’ dressing room

don’t ask

ofc skz already left so it was just you two there

fast forward, you both hit it off and he became your bf <3

midzys and engenes love you both sm and love bragging about you two to other fandoms

you two were even named the king and queen of 4th gen kpop

oh also

you already know where this is going

“SUNGHOON HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW NOT SHY’S PROPER TITLE IT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S SONG” - jay

brags about how he can do the shoulder dance in wannabe

ofc it’s bc you personally taught him

sends you pics of jyp as reaction pics

so you send pics of bang pdnim to him

every once in a while he reminds you of that video of jay why pee trying to hit a high note

“lmao that’s your boss”

PLS you always get super embarrassed so ofc you bring up that vid of hitman bang

“rAp dAncE-“

★ sunoo - stayc

you were his seatmate at school predebut

you came from the same town, same school, same neighborhood, etc

the two of you were extremely close and both shared the same dream

when highup entertainment accepted you, the both of you were over the moon

he was so happy for you

but sad too bc that meant you had to move to seoul :(

you promised him to do your best and that you hoped to see him again but as an idol

and hopefully when he’s an idol too

well what you hoped for came true !!

although you couldn’t see him much as a trainee - which made you quite sad - you got to follow his journey on i-land

you even asked your fellow trainees to vote for him

anyways now that you both debuted, you became close again and became really open with your fans on how close you were

you recommended his songs to swiths and he did the same to engenes

he even memorized the choreo to so bad and asap and lemme tell you this

he BEGGED you to teach him those choreos

“sunoo you can watch the practice on youtube”

“but i want to learn it from you”

he never really realized his feelings until he saw you getting shipped with his other members

you were both on weekly idol and the hosts really seemed to like how you and jake looked next to each other and they just teased you both the whole episode

that made sunoo feel uneasy and he thought it was only bc he was an overprotective best friend

turns out he had feelings for you (wow shocker)

so one day he asks you to come to hybe

after slightly getting lost, you meet up with him in a practice room

he confesses bc he felt like not telling you about his feelings would put a wall between you two

you appreciate his honesty and tell him you’ve felt the same way every since you were classmates

he scolds himself for not seeing it all those years but you just laugh it off bc you were pretty good at hiding your crush

you both agree to secretly date, until you both announce it on your five month anniversary

fans were really shocked at first... but they support you !!!!

engenes will not hesitate to come at anyone who talks bad about you and swiths feels the same way about jungwon

he gushes about you every single time you’re brought up

and you can’t help but love your adorable boyfriend

★ jungwon - iz*one

okay so

he was just an average high schooler when you were introduced on produce 48

his deskmate was watching your audition video and it was the part where you were doing this freestyle

he was SO amazed and he secretly followed your journey on produce 48

always made sure to vote on time and watch the episodes live

once the debut evaluation came around, he asked everyone he knew to vote for you and even bought tickets to see the show live

almost cried when he saw that you were center

ACTUALLY CRIED when you got into the top 13 😭

fast forward to him debuting in enha

he wasn’t able to catch up on you since he was busy with trainee life, then i-land, then debut preparations

but somehow in the middle of promotions he ran into you and BOOM love at first sight

fast forward to you finally dating, he couldn’t believe he was dating the y/n of iz*one

wizones make those “ladies and gentlemen, y/n’s man” edits and engenes make those “ladies and gentlemen, jungwon’s woman” edits

both fandoms love you two so dearly that the only hate you two got were from the delusional ones (who clearly aren’t actual fans)

when your last concert came around, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry when you said “this has been iz*one’s y/n, thank you everyone!”

he got flashbacks from when you cried during the final episode of produce 48 and he’s just.. sobbing bc he couldn’t be there to hold you

so the next day he rushed to your dorms with snacks and emotional support bc you were emotionally exhausted from accepting the fact that your journey with iz*one is finally ending

you felt extremely lucky to be in his arms and he felt extremely lucky too that he’s able to make you feel a little better

★ riki - weeekly

you were both on weekly weeekly idol together

and both you and riki being main dancers, you were asked to do random dance together

a few popular songs played and the both of you did the choreos

until after school started playing and the boy did the chorus’ choreo and you were like “woah???”

bc he was so INTO ITTTT

the song was basically made for him to cover it

and the mcs saw your reaction so they asked him to do it once again but this time with the whole group

after filming, he came up to you and was like “i’m a huge fan of yours” and you’re just like ):&/£]>\**_£]

“woah really???? i rooted for you on i-land”

and his face just lights up bc his huge crush on you developed even more

you became besties since then but he didn’t ask you out until your birthday

he took you out to a puppy café, knowing you were obsessed with dogs

you’d ask him to show you pictures and videos of bisco

“i better meet bisco once we go to japan together”

melted at the thought of traveling to his hometown with you

anyways

once you left the café, he kissed you in front of your dorms

and somehow he became your boyfriend <3

riki as a bf isn’t really a very public person

he’s the “this is our relationship, not the public’s” type of person

he doesn’t wanna risk companies wanting to exploit your relationship

although he doesn’t talk about you two much, he loves to brag about you when given the chance

whenever variety show hosts would fawn over you he’d just look them in the eyes dead and go “she’s mine”

952 notes · View notes

extasiswings · 4 years

Text

How we feeling clowns? Wrecked? Anyway, here, have an episode tag for both the crossover and Buck Begins. Also on ao3.

Eddie’s driving nearly on autopilot, the roads familiar as they get closer and closer to El Paso. Part of him almost wishes he hadn’t taken the driving shift to get them to his childhood home, even if it made the most sense—he can feel the tension in his jaw and shoulders creeping in, curling tighter with every mile they come closer, and his fingers itch for his phone, for the commiserating sympathies of his sisters who understand what he’s likely to walk into much more than Buck or Hen.

Technically they could have skipped the detour. Eddie hadn’t even planned on telling his parents he was coming to Texas at all—it was Christopher who let it slip, and then Eddie had been immediately put on the spot and he hadn’t been able to come up with a good way out of stopping by after his weak deflection that it wasn’t a social trip was met with well, you have to stop and eat somewhere, don’t you.

Sophia told him to lie and say the department said no. But she’s always been much better at lying to their parents outright than he is. Adriana shrugged and said if he didn’t want to go he didn’t need to give them a reason and should just say he wouldn’t be coming. But then, that’s her tactic as well and always has been—putting her foot down to establish hard boundaries, forging her own path and bucking all expectations. Eddie’s always fallen somewhere in the middle, which he supposes is fitting—struggling to set boundaries, often getting there only when pushed, wanting approval but lacking Sophia’s talent for gentle manipulation that usually leads people to think that whatever she wants was their idea.

So. Here he sits. Driving to El Paso.

“Eddie?”

He blinks and clears his throat as he registers Buck’s voice, the edge of concern that says it’s not the first time Buck has called his name.

“Yeah?”

“I was going to ask if you could pass back the aux cord,” Buck says. “But now I think I should ask if you’re okay.”

Eddie glances over his shoulder—Hen is in the back of the truck, head pillowed against the window, dozing with her eyes closed. He swallows.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen my parents is all,” he replies. “And usually when they call it’s to talk to Christopher so...it might be uncomfortable.”

Buck’s voice drops. “Have you talked to them since the thing? Other than about this I guess.”

The Thing, also known as the huge fight they got into when Eddie decided that if he was going to keep working he couldn’t live at home for awhile and they tried to once again insist that he take Chris back to live with them. Like some terrible combination of the arguments they had before he moved to LA and after Shannon’s funeral, only even worse because Eddie had been raw enough over the decision to move in with Buck and let his abuela take care of Chris for awhile and really didn’t need to hear anyone tell him that choice made him a bad parent—

Sophia had been spitting mad when he told her and while he doesn’t know what she said in her own subsequent call to their parents, he knows that the next time they called him, the subject didn’t come up again. Which, he supposes is as close to an apology as he’s ever likely to get.

He probably could have used that as an excuse to not visit. But then, that’s not really how they are. Don’t apologize, pretend you don’t hold grudges, act like everything is fine, and repress until it feels like it is—the Diaz family way.

Eddie sighs as he focuses on the road.

“Not really,” he replies. “They’ve called Christopher every few weeks, but we’ve only talked directly...three times maybe since then? Things seem to go south more quickly when we’re in person though so I guess I’m…”

“Bracing for impact,” Buck fills in quietly. “I get that.”

“Yeah?”

Buck shrugs. “I don’t talk about my parents,” he points out. “Don’t talk to them either if I can avoid it because they always have a way of managing to just—anyway. The last time I even called was after everything with Maddie and Doug. Haven’t seen them since...since before I started with the 118 at least. So. Yeah. I get it.”

He hesitates, then adds, “You know I have your back, right? You’re my best friend and you’re an amazing father. I’m not going to let anybody get away with talking badly about you in front of me, even if they are your parents.”

Eddie glances back and manages a faint smile, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he admits. “Even if you did try to steal a fire truck in the middle of the night without me.”

Buck laughs and shoves at his shoulder. “At least it wasn’t this truck. Besides—you caught up before I did it anyway.”

“Yeah, my Buck’s about to do something dangerous senses were tingling, couldn’t let that slide,” Eddie teases.

“Just give me the damn aux cord,” Buck shoots back, but he’s grinning.

And as they pass the next exit, Eddie feels like maybe things won’t be quite so bad.

***

Buck hates Eddie’s parents.

It’s not the most charitable thing to think about someone you’ve only just officially met—he saw them at the ceremony when Eddie passed his probationary period, but he’d been on pretty strong painkillers at the time and Maddie had shuffled him back home as soon as possible—but he really does.

He hates the tense, anxious set of Eddie’s shoulders, hates the way his smile looks forced—it triggers the same fierce, protective instinct that rears its head whenever he gets between his parents and Maddie, and, well, he did promise, so—

He really doesn’t feel bad for interrupting the very first digs about how seeing Christopher over video isn’t the same as in person, but it’s nice to have the option and technology really is wonderful, Zoom calls must have been a great improvement from your army days, right son with—

“You know, it is wonderful isn’t it? Did Eddie tell you how amazing Christopher is handling hybrid learning? It’s really so great how his teachers have adapted, I can’t imagine he would have kept up so well anywhere else.”

Buck smiles brightly as Eddie’s mother’s lips thin. Hen coughs and takes a long sip of lemonade. Eddie blinks in surprise from across the table and clears his throat, grasping at the lifeline.

“Yeah, top of his class,” Eddie says.

“He even has a reading group once a week with some of the other kids in his class that Eddie started to help them stay social. I know a lot of the other parents appreciate it,” Buck adds, and Eddie rubs at the back of his neck.

“We definitely do,” Hen says, glancing at Eddie’s father as she clarifies, “I have a son Christopher’s age. They used to play together all the time before all of this.”

“His therapist said kids are resilient, but I wanted to at least try and give him something normal,” Eddie replies, and his mother’s brows raise.

“Christopher is in therapy?” There’s a note in her tone that makes Eddie tense and Buck’s hackles raise.

“I took him to see someone for a few sessions after Shannon died, mom,” Eddie says evenly. After the tsunami, Buck fills in for himself. “It didn’t seem like a bad idea to go back again to make sure he’s okay during a time that’s pretty unprecedented for just about everyone.”

“Really, I think more parents should send their kids to therapy,” Buck interjects. “If it’s a feasible option, I can’t see that it’s anything other than great parenting to make sure your kid has the best tools they can to take care of their mental health.”

God knows if he’d gone to therapy a hell of a lot sooner, he might not be struggling through sessions with Dr. Copeland now that he’s nearly thirty, but that’s not really the point.

“Well, some people feel those sorts of things are best taken care of within the family,” Eddie’s mother replies.

“With all due respect, sometimes the family’s way of handling problems just makes things worse,” Buck replies, his smile dropping briefly before he forces it back again.

“This lemonade really is delicious, Mrs. Diaz,” Hen jumps in as Eddie pushes his chair back and starts collecting empty plates. “I would love to get the recipe before we leave. If you don’t mind.”

Startled, the older woman blinks. “Oh. Yes, of course. I’ll write it down for you.”

Buck pushes back his own chair as Hen continues redirecting the conversation and follows Eddie into the kitchen where he finds his best friend gripping the edge of the sink.

“Hey,” he says quietly.

Eddie looks over his shoulder and exhales heavily. “Hey.”

“Sorry if I overstepped.”

“You didn’t,” Eddie assures. “I’m just...exhausted. And ready to get back on the road and home to my kid.”

He hesitates, then adds, “you know, my sisters would be impressed. I haven’t seen someone manage our parents like that since they left. I—thank you.”

“I meant what I said in the truck, Eddie,” Buck replies. “You’re an amazing father and a great man and—it’s not right that anyone should pretend any different. So. I won’t let them.”

Eddie glances at the hallway. “Guess we have to go back eventually. I didn’t quite think this escape plan through.”

“Once more unto the breach?” Buck offers. The smile he gives Eddie is far different from the fake one he’s had up since they arrived, and when Eddie returns it, a spark returning to his eyes, it makes Buck’s stomach flip and his pulse race.

He tries not to think too hard about that. They still have a long drive ahead of them—plenty of time to save it for later.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

***

When they get home, Eddie barely manages to shower and plug in his phone to charge before falling into bed and immediately going to sleep. When he wakes up, he finally checks his messages and sees several missed calls and texts from his sisters.

So? Sophia asks. How was it?

<em>You were right</em>, Eddie taps out, and then waits. His phone rings a few seconds later.

“I’ll save the I told you so in favor of asking if I should get Adriana on the line for an emergency Diaz sibling parental grievance vent session or if I’ll suffice,” Sophia greets.

“It’s not that serious,” Eddie replies. “I’m okay—a little annoyed still, but...I’m okay.”

He’s not quite sure what compels him to add, “Buck was there. He, uh, he told them off about it a little actually. Politely, but that kind of polite...you know the one.”

“The one that’s basically go fuck yourself with a smile and/or plausible deniability?” Sophia fills in, and Eddie laughs.

“Yeah, that.” He rubs at the back of his neck and leans back in his chair. “It was—he kept pointing out things about what a great dad I am.”

There’s something about the feeling in his gut that he can’t name. Something he wants to poke at, to explore, but that also makes him wary. Like a yellow caution light—it’s not a do not enter but it’s not risk free either—and he’s not sure whether it’s a risk he can take yet.

Sophia is quiet for a moment. Then she says, “You are a great dad, Eddie. In spite of them. I’m glad you have other people in your life who recognize that too. You deserve that. You deserve to trust that you’re good at things, even if mom and dad say you aren’t. You deserve to be happy, so...”

The silence that follows feels weighty.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“Is Buck—?” Sophia cuts herself off. “—nevermind. Hey, the twins are calling, so I’ll call back again later, okay? Love you.”

Is Buck what? Eddie wants to ask. But he swallows it back.

“Love you, too,” he says instead. “Talk to you later.”

As he hangs up and tosses his phone aside, his mind wanders back to that feeling. Right up to the edge of warning lights and caution tape. And Eddie wonders for a moment if he should—

There’s a knock at his door.

“Dad? You awake?”

“Yeah, buddy,” he calls back. “Be right there.”

Later. He can think about it later.

***

Eddie figures it out at the worst possible time—in the middle of a five-alarm fire when Buck’s trapped inside and he doesn’t know if—

What do you do when you realize you might be in love with your best friend and they could die?

“We have to go back in there,” he says, before he can think of any reason why he shouldn’t. “We can’t just leave him, we have to—”

“You’re right,” Bobby interrupts, and the other captain makes a noise of frustration.

“Captain Nash—”

“You’re right,” Bobby repeats, holding Eddie’s gaze. “We’re going to get him back.”

Maybe it’s stupid, four trained firefighters diving back into an active blaze in an unstable building with unclear direction, but Eddie can’t regret it when he sees the desperation on Buck’s face. The relief. The impending breakdown.

After, he’s assigned to take care of the victim and Buck’s carted off to the hospital to get checked, and Eddie thinks maybe that’s better. It gives him time, at least. Time to figure out what to say, what to do, whether he should say or do anything at all. Part of him doesn’t know. The rest is screaming I love him, I love him, I love him, wants to get his hands on Buck to verify for himself that he’s fine. That he’s alive. That he’s going to stay that way.

But when he gets back to the station, Buck’s parents are there, sitting at the table, and Eddie just—

He thinks about the look on Buck’s face earlier in the shift when he spilled everything, when he explained how he was apparently born just for parts and how he used to throw himself into bad situations because it was the only way to get their attention.

He could ignore them. But he doesn’t.

“He saved my son, you know,” Eddie says, gripping the top of the staircase as the Buckleys look up. And it’s probably somewhat insane to keep talking because he knows they don’t even know who he is, but he can’t help it because he just needs them to understand— “Buck. He wasn’t even working at the time, he was on medical leave and didn’t know if he would ever be able to be a firefighter again. But he saved my son in the middle of a tsunami—my then eight-year-old son, and god knows I can’t imagine losing him, I think that would be the worst thing I could possibly go through, and I’m not sure I would survive it, but I didn’t have to because Buck saved him. And probably twenty other people as well. That’s just the kind of person he is. The kind who saves people.”

They don’t say a word, so he keeps going. “He could have died today. Because he didn’t want to leave anyone behind. Because he is a good man, even if he doesn’t ever feel like he’s good enough. And he hasn’t said a lot about you, but he’s said enough for me to know that while he’s gotten the latter impression from you, he learned the former himself. He built his life here himself. So...I don’t know why you’re here, if you want to explain yourselves or just want him to forgive you because you feel guilty, but I just wanted you to know that. That he’s a good man. The best man that I know. And if you’re proud of him for that, he deserves to hear it. That’s all.”

Eddie walks away then, heart beating too fast, blood rushing in his ears.

The best man that I know. And I’m in love with him.

That wasn’t for their ears though.

It thrums in his veins, the words caught in his throat as he showers, changes, waits for Buck to return to the station. And when he does, Eddie almost—

But something stops him.

“You have visitors,” he says instead. And leaves Buck to it.

Buck finds him in the locker room after.

“So, my parents said they heard stories about me while they were waiting,” he says. “When I asked them who from, they said they didn’t know, but that I saved their son in a tsunami—and trust me, that got a hell of a lot of questions.”

Eddie is grateful for the open locker, the excuse to hide his face as he pulls out his street clothes.

“Yeah, well—just because they’re not going to appreciate you doesn’t mean that nobody else does.”

“Eddie.”

Eddie pulls back and takes a breath before looking over at Buck. There’s a look in Buck’s eyes like he’s trying to piece Eddie together like a puzzle, to work out all the things he hasn’t said. And Eddie suddenly feels exposed, far more than he had when Buck was sitting in his childhood dining room staring down his own parents.

“You’re a good man,” Eddie says quietly. “They should hear that. And...someone should be willing to defend it.”

Buck’s quiet for a moment.

“I have to go see Maddie,” he says finally. “But maybe I could come by later? And we could...talk?”

“You don’t have to ask, Buck,” Eddie replies. “You know I—” I always want you. “—you’re always welcome.”

Buck watches him in silence for another long moment, then nods. “Okay. Okay, I’ll see you later then.”

It’s hours before there’s a knock on the door. Hours in which Eddie burns dinner and then orders takeout because he’s too busy thinking, hours that he spends trapped in his own head, thinking through all the worst case scenarios, through every what if of how things could go wrong.

But also how they could go right.

And by the time he opens the door, he’s almost ready to just let the words trip off his tongue, but before he can, Buck says—

“Please don’t tell me I’m wrong about this.”

—and kisses him.

Eddie freezes, but before Buck can pull back, he slides a hand around the back of Buck’s neck and kisses him back with everything in him—every bit of thank god you’re alive and I was so afraid and I can’t lose you that he can muster. By the time Buck pulls away, they’re both breathless.

“I’m in love with you,” Buck admits. “I’ve been—”

“Me too,” Eddie replies. “I thought—I thought you were—”

Buck kisses him again.

“I can’t believe you told off my parents.”

“Well, you told off mine, so—”

Eddie pulls Buck through the door.

“Chris is in his room,” he says quietly. “But...you should stay for dinner. And…”

You should stay. Just stay.

Buck does.

#chapel writes #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #buddie fic #911 fic #911 spoilers #(just in case)

166 notes · View notes

1eos · 2 years

Note

Going on that fandom brainrot thing, I think the biggest enablers are the companies/supervisors responsible for the celebrity and maybe the celebrity themselves. Because of how famous people fundamentally make their content, any but physical boundaries are essentially removed (and even those are frequently violated). Its like fans forget these celebrities are people. And because this has gone on for so long, celebrities are put in a bad light for establishing boundaries if they try. So, if celebrities are not standing up for themselves, it allows the fans to believe that there is more to their relationship with their fav than a fan and a celeb, like they own this person and are thus responsible for their behaviors.

It really baffles me that so many people are unable to distinguish that line and I honestly dont get why they become to easily obsessed with a certain celebrity to the point where they forget that they are strangers.

oh no literally. like literally doja cat got called slurs for not wanting to hold an impromptu meet and greet outside of her FUCKING HOTEL. if someone came to my house bc they liked my blog eye believe i have every right to beat their ass with a heated skillet. celebs are truly commodities so unless ppl think its cute for you to be firm with them........fans will really be pressed that you're not available for their consumption 24/7 and open to all of their weirdness and 2. your record company/management company will profit off it it.

nd fans definitely forget celebrities are people. likeeeeeeeeee theres such a clear disconnect btwn what they would do to a normal person and a celeb its crazy. ive read abt fans grabbing onto male idols thighs at fansigns. ppl visiting LA will make it a game of trying to hop over fences into celeb homes. a bunch of fucking yters or streamers talk abt being doxxed just for mfs to show up to their homes its insaneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. like fan culture is this evil beast feeding into itself to the point where being a creep is something you can gain clout from like that one weird white girl on tiktok racking up views by harassing ateez...........a group she say she dont even like. its just a mess these ppl need to be put on lists. tazed even.

#like this celebrity is just like you just with more botox u need to chill out

17 notes · View notes

wisteriashouse · 4 years

Text

falling (i).

pairing: rengoku kyoujurou x reader

genre: fluff, dark

warnings: gore, murder

word count: 4212

remarks: i have absolutely no idea what i’ve just done, please tell me if this is considered psychological horror or if it’s just me trying to be edgy and turning out cringey. also please note the warnings above!! if you want fluff, just stop reading at the ‘>>>’ i might delete this in the morning out of embarrassment lmao

i. for your lies

The tea is piping hot when you run into Rengoku Kyoujurou for the first time.

His frame is broad, an immovable mountain, and it’s no wonder that you were sent stumbling while the man before you seems to have barely taken a step backwards. The force of your collision sends the porcelain teacups hurtling off the tray you’re carrying, scalding water splashing over the delicate skin of your hands with a gasp. Your heart lurches into your chest as you fall, but before you can crash painfully to the ground, a pair of strong arms wrap around your middle, pulling you upright. Instead of the floorboards, your nose collides with a firm chest and immediately a slightly sweet, earthy scent fills your nose.

Behind you, there’s the sound of porcelain shattering, the clatter of your tea tray hitting the ground. You stand there for a moment, stunned, trying to register what has just happened. You didn’t even see him move.

“My apologies!” The man apologises to you immediately, although it was you who crashed into him first. His voice is loud and booming in the corridors of the brothel, and the stark contrast to his unassuming attire takes you by surprise. It’s as though he is attempting his best to stay indistinguishable from the crowd - the colour of his robe is a dull, earthy brown - common attire found on most of the chōnin who frequent the red light district of Yoshiwara. However, it does little to mask the brightness of his hair, his smile, and most importantly, his eyes - they burn like twin suns in the sky, and you find that it is near impossible for you to meet his gaze. “Are you alright?”

You bow low immediately, hiding your face from those piercing eyes. The hairs at the back of your neck prickle. “No, no, it was my fault.” You say. Glancing behind you, you see broken shards of porcelain scattered across the ground, hot tea seeping between the cracks in the floorboards. “I’m so sorry that you had to see such an unpleasant sight. I’ll clean up the mess immediately.”

Turning around, you drop to your knees to pick up the pieces, but before your fingertips can so much as brush one, the man is already kneeling before you, gathering up all the shards into his sleeve with one hand and picking up the fallen tray with the other. “Okyaku-sama, I-”

“It’s no problem! It was my fault, after all.” His insistence makes you hesitate for a beat. Perceptive eyes pick up your uncertainty in an instant and he’s quick to reassure you, flashing you a quick grin. “Besides, you shouldn’t be aggravating your injuries!”

Surprised, you glance down at your hands and see pink splotches forming over your skin. A small wince leaves your mouth, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the man in front of you. “You should get the scalded area under some running water! It’ll help cool down the burn.”

You swallow, looking over at the broken teacups in his sleeve. “But…”

“Oi, [name], what’s with the hold up? Why hasn’t the tea arrived yet?” A snappish voice interrupts you and you turn around to see a middle aged woman stomping up to you, arms folded across her chest. You’re about to explain yourself when her eyes narrow at the mess on the floor, her lips twisting in a satisfied sneer. “Well, well, well. Even the owner’s favourite makes mistakes, I see.”

It takes a significant amount of effort to conceal the roll of your eyes.

“Sorry, Masako-san.” You force a polite smile onto your face, inclining your head to the overseer of the brothel. “I’ll get another tea set prepared right away-”

“It was my fault.”

Surprised, you glance up at the man standing next to you. There’s a polite, apologetic smile on his face as he speaks to Masako. “I am the one to blame here, I bumped into her.” At the sight of him, Masako’s eyes widen - she must have been so fixated on you that she completely missed him - and she hurriedly bows before him. “Okyaku-sama!”

“I’m sorry that I broke such a beautiful piece of art.” He inspects the shards in his sleeve with a cursory glance, brow furrowed. “From the glaze, it must have been a rather expensive set. I’ll pay for it, if need be.”

“There’s no need to. You’re a customer, I’m sure the owner would not hold it against you.” Masako replies breathlessly, shaking her head. You keep your mouth shut. If the man had not taken the blame onto himself instead, you’re sure that she would have insisted you pay every bit of it. “If you would come with me, okyaku-sama, it would be my pleasure to bring you some of the most beautiful girls in the establishment-”

“That’s very kind of you, but I’m not here for such pleasures.” The man cuts her off politely, yet his voice is firm. One of his hands comes to rest on your shoulder. “This lovely lady said she would show me where to dispose of the pieces, so we should get going before I drop any of these and cause an accident.”

Taking his words as a subtle cue, you nod in agreement. “Then, I’ll be leaving first, Masako-san. I’ll bring up a fresh set to the room later.”

Unable to argue with a customer, Masako can only watch as you lead the man down the hallway and around the corner. Once you’re out of her line of sight, you heave a sigh of relief, shaking your head.

“Thank you for helping me back there.” You murmur softly as he falls into step next to you. “I really appreciate it.”

“It’s only natural to help someone in need!” He smiles, jovial, and you find the sight about as radiant as the sun. “I’m glad that I could be of assistance to you. Besides,” his smile turns a little sheepish, “I was speaking the truth when I said that I was not here for sexual services.”

“What are you here for, then?” Your question seems to be something he wasn’t expecting, because he raises a brow, lips pursing slightly. You put up your hands immediately at the guarded expression that flashes across his face. “Apologies, I appear to be overstepping my boundaries. You don’t have to answer my question, okyaku-sama. I’m just a servant here, after all.”

The corners of his lips dip into a frown. “Do not speak of yourself that way. You and your work here are valued, I am sure!” The cautiousness of his face seems to have abated slightly, because he ponders your question a little more seriously this time. “Well, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I am searching for a friend, whom I was supposed to meet here.”

“Friend?” You ask, curious. Your footsteps halt before a sliding door that you make quick work to open, revealing a kitchen behind the screen. “I’m the cook of this establishment, so if you describe them to me briefly, I might be able to tell if I’ve seen them around.”

“Well, his name is Yugou Fukuzashi.” the man begins. He seems oddly nervous now. “He has a pet crow.”

You pause for a moment, musing over the past few days before you let out a little gasp of recognition.

“Oh, yes, I think I’ve seen him before! His crow looked so cute, I couldn’t help but approach him and ask him to let me pet it.” You tell him enthusiastically, watching the way his eyes light up. “He mentioned that he was heading out for a while and wanted me to leave a message for the next person looking for him.”

His back straightens almost imperceptibly, eyes sharpening. If you hadn’t been watching him out of the corner of your eye, you would have completely missed the sudden, subtle shift in his attitude. “Would you care to tell me the message?”

“Well,” you step into the kitchen, and the man has to duck his head slightly to enter after you. “He said that he was investigating an urgent, new lead about something, and that you should wait here for a few days until he returns, in case he needs your immediate help. That was all.”

“New lead?” He repeats to himself under his breath, brows furrowed. Stepping over to the sink, you gesture to the trash bin in the corner of the room. “You can dispose of the pieces there. I’m truly sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you, okyaku-sama.”

“It was really of no trouble to me!” You hear the clink of pottery behind you as you hold your hands under tap, cool water streaming over your skin. “And please, don’t call me okyaku-sama. It makes me feel strange, considering that I’m not here for the services on sale!”

You blink over your shoulder. He’s seated himself at the kitchen table, both hands resting lightly on the tabletop, eyes bright as he regards you. That sight is incredibly foreign to you - no one has sat in your kitchen that you remember, with good reason. “Right. What should I call you, then?”

He beams at you. Sunlight streams in through the open windows, casting shadows over his hands. “You can call me Rengoku! That’s my name, Rengoku Kyoujurou.” You repeat his name slowly, testing it out on your tongue, intonation slightly stilted. “Rengoku-san. That’s a rather dramatic name, don’t you think?”

His name means inferno, purgatory. A divine fire that burns away even the deepest, darkest sins of men, unrelenting in its pursuit for righteousness and justice. Your mouth pulls into a thin line.

It suits him, you think, with the flame tipped hair and the burning coal of his irises that seem to scorch you bare to the bones with his gaze.

You introduce yourself to him in turn, and he repeats your name back to you with bright enthusiasm. “You have a beautiful name.” He smiles. Although his expression is relaxed, his back is still ramrod straight, one hand constantly hovering at his left hip. You swallow silently, heart racing in your chest.

“Flatterer.” You reply lightly, turning your eyes away before he can notice your staring. Pulling your hands out from beneath the tap, you hold them up to inspect them - the pink is already beginning to fade, and with a little ointment, they’ll be as good as before in no time at all. “See? They’re perfectly fine.” You show Kyoujurou your hands with a slight smile. “There’s no reason for you to feel bad at all. In fact, I should be thanking you instead.”

“There’s no need to!” Kyoujurou laughs. The sound is bright and clear and honest, unlike the poisonous titter of the prostitutes you hear so often in the private entertainment rooms, or the delighted chuckles of the conmen and schemers that prowl the streets, looking for a quick coin. “As I said, I only did what anyone else would have done. It is nothing to be thanked for.”

What he says makes you pause in your step, your throat tightening. Does he truly believe that, or is he simply spouting empty words, a hollow vessel echoing the words of others? “You are a very kind man, Rengoku-san.” Is all you end up saying softly instead, and Kyoujurou looks startled at your words for a moment. Before he can find some way to excuse that as well, you continue, lightening the mood with a quick smile. “Besides, you did save me from having to pay for those cups. They’re part of an expensive tea set, and if any of them did break, I’d probably be punished by Masako-san.” You catch Kyoujurou’s lips pulling into a frown at your words and quickly continue. “I’d like to treat you to a meal to repay you! As I mentioned earlier, I’m the cook of this place, so I’m sure I could find some way to satisfy your palate!”

Kyoujurou stares at you for a moment before he shakes his head. “No, it’s quite alright-”

“This place might be a brothel,” you say, suddenly a little put out at his refusal, crossing your arms over your chest, “but our food is pretty good too, you know.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Kyoujurou hurries to clear up the misunderstanding before you can continue to insist, eyes wide. “Your hands are injured, so you should abstain from using them in the meantime! After they are well, I’d love to try your cooking!”

“Oh.” You pause, suddenly embarrassed. Momentarily flustered, you step over to the cupboards, pulling out a small tray piled high with elaborately made wagashi. “Then, Rengoku-san, in the meantime, please have these instead.”

His eyes widen with almost unbridled excitement as he looks over them, before he turns to you. “You made these yourself?” There’s such honest joy in his voice that you can’t meet his eyes, ducking your head to the side a little awkwardly.

“It’s a hobby of mine.” You say, rubbing the back of your neck. “Please, eat up.”

Kyoujurou doesn’t need a second invitation, picking one up and admiring the detail on it briefly before putting the sweet into his mouth whole. He chews for a moment, and as much as you try not to, you find yourself watching his face in anticipation. Are they any good? Do they suit his taste?

He swallows and takes a deep breath.

“Delicious!”

You nearly reel at the volume of his declaration. “Absolutely delicious! Delicious!” He continues to exclaim, reaching out for more, and within minutes the staggering pile of handmade sweets have been completely demolished by a man alone. You watch the scene unfold in shock even as he gathers the crumbs off the tray and pops them into his mouth with a final proclamation of ‘delicious!’, said with great gusto.

You stare for a moment before shaking your head, rendered quite speechless. It’s as if he’s been famished for years. “I assume they tasted good?”

“They tasted fantastic!” Kyoujurou beams at you, one hand reaching up to wipe away the few stray crumbs clinging to the side of his mouth. “You are an amazing cook! I am very lucky to have the privilege of having your food!”

You give him a slight smile as you reach over to pick up the tray. “Well, you’ll have plenty of chances to taste them over the next few days, since you’ll be staying here. I hope that I’ll get to know you better during your time here, Rengoku-san.” Your words are sweet, and so very simple.

He smiles back at you, completely guileless.

“I look forward to getting to know you better too!”

>>>

When night falls, the sun extinguished by shadows and darkness prowling the streets, the red light district comes alive, a nocturnal beast raising its slumbering head. Kyoujurou has long retired to bed, citing a need to wake up early the next day, but you wonder if part of his reason for doing so is to avoid the depravity that settles over the floating world of pleasure. Upright, moral and righteous, adhering to a strict code of conduct and self discipline.

That’s what you’ve picked up about Rengoku Kyoujurou so far in the time you’ve spent together.

A covered tray in your hands, you make your way down the hallway, ascending the stairs to the very highest floor of the building. Here, the walls are lavishly decorated with various signature artworks from famous artists of different eras, glazed vases and pottery, the tatami soft and firm under your feet. It’s almost as if you’ve entered a different world altogether, compared to the lower floors of the brothel, this would be a place almost fit for royalty.

Almost no one knows of the topmost floor and the secrets it hides.

Quietly, you knock at the door. Your knuckles whisper a secret pattern into the wood. “It’s me.”

There’s a long pause before you hear a familiar series of clicking and whirring, hundreds of locks being undone from the other side. You wait patiently, and with a final click, the door slides open for you.

You take a single, deep breath, and step into the lion’s maw.

It’s dark, the only light source the candles scattered about the room, their meagre light throwing eerie shadows at the walls. The interior is even more decorated than the exterior, rich, soft carpet lining every inch of floor, gilded ornaments dotting the space to its owner’s every whim and fancy. Yet, it cannot hide the heavy scent of iron that suffuses the air, thick and poignant.

Carefully, you make your way to the front of the room, where a figure sits cross legged on a raised dais.

Its leering smile sends chills down your spine, but you continue walking towards it with as much calm as you can muster, although every nerve in your body tells you to run in the opposite direction. To your side, a kneeling figure trembles. You don’t spare him a second glance.

You stand before the dais, setting down the covered tray before you. Two simple words leave your lips.

You watch with emotionless eyes as a dark tendril lowers a single squawking shape down to your eye level, the kasugai crow letting out a stream of desperate, high pitched shrieks and caws. That’s the last sound it ever makes, because in the next second the tendril squeezes, and the little bird simply splatters over the ground in a mess of blood and black feathers. The room abruptly falls silent, devoid of the bird’s wails. “That’s far better, I was getting tired of its ceaseless noise. The curses it hurled at me, you wouldn’t have believed how unkind its words were, darling.” You remember how soft its feathers were under your fingertips.

“He’s here.” You say, simply.

The creature before you lets out a low ‘oho?’, and all around you, you hear a unsettling concerto of dry, raspy slithering, as if there are a thousand snakes in this very room with you. You’ve only seen its true form once, and the nightmarish sight still haunts you till this day. “So the little bird was right, after all.”

“You didn’t have to wait till now to kill it.” You answer, impassive. The demon tilts its head as it regards you, one corner of its mouth tilting up in a grin.

“I had to let it know that it failed its mission at the moment of its death. Just thinking about the agony it felt in its last moments sends shivers down my spine. It’s all about the despair.” It coos, voice dangerously soft with glee. “So, a Pillar has really come to my humble establishment? Have you convinced him to stay for dinner?”

The tea had been piping hot when you had run into Rengoku Kyoujurou for the first time.

Watching from the upper floors, fingers dancing over the boiling kettle, you had been waiting the entire morning - eyes on the streets, looking out for a man who fit the description of Flame Pillar to approach. It’d been around midday when you had caught sight of him, guided to the front of the establishment, and when he’d tilted his head upwards to take in the building, you had instantly known that the man before you did not belong in this pit of depravity.

It was him.

“I have.” Your words are short and curt. “He’s meeting his friend here. Yugou Fukuzashi.”

“The poor man will be waiting a long time.” With a soft, poisonous chuckle, the demon reaches forward to lift the cover of the tray, and there’s a choked scream of terror behind you at the sight it reveals.

Yugou Fukuzashi’s severed head sits on a platter, neatly slicked chunks of raw, red meat set around it in a perfect circle. You don’t even bat an eyelid, hands clasped behind you as you continue staring at the wall opposite you. “Thigh, chest and shoulder meat. Just like you wanted.”

“You’ve done perfectly, as usual. Lovely, absolutely lovely. You’re an astounding cook, truly.” The shadows against the wall amass and morph into the distorted shape of a hand, reaching down with a pair of chopsticks to dip a slice of meat in soy sauce before lifting it into its mouth. “Slayers always have the best meat. Their well trained bodies are so firm and juicy. I can never resist a beautiful meal.”

The person on the ground next to you scrabbles to his feet, babbling nonsensically at the grotesque sight as he tries to flee on shaky legs. Before he can take so much as a step, there’s a soft, silent breath as the air itself is cleaved in half and the man goes crashing to the ground once again, screaming terribly as blood gushes from the back of his calves. Achilles tendons severed, the man has no way of escaping - well, not that he did, in the first place.

None of them ever have.

“I wonder,” the demon says thoughtfully, over the din of the screaming man, “what the flesh of a Pillar would taste like.” Its eyes come to rest on you, and the hairs at the back of your neck prickle. “What do you think?”

You exhale. “I don’t know.” The screaming jarring your thoughts, and you take a deep breath to regulate your emotions. “But I can bring him to you, if you want.”

It coos. “And that’s why you’re my favourite, darling. So obedient, so willing. It’s no wonder why you’re the only one I’ve kept around for long.” The shadows surge, shifting restlessly before something unnaturally cold touches your cheek, dangerously tender. “That Masako should really learn from you.”

Next to you, the man screams again, trying to crawl away, gasping for air through his tears and the taste of his own blood in his mouth. “No matter. She won’t be around much longer.” You don’t flinch when the demon’s tendrils snake down to play at the delicate skin of your neck, taking steady breaths and counting your heartbeat in your mind. “She’s far too noisy, much like this slab of meat here.”

The shadows wrap around the man’s ankle right before he can make it to the door, hoisting him into the air and he lets out a terrified shriek, thrashing about madly. “If only you hadn’t tried to steal from that previous meal of mine. I hope that gold embroidered coat you’re wearing now is worth the life you’re about to pay for it.” The demon hums lightly, shaking his head. The man sobs and screams, all dignity abandoned, his sounds melding together into a desperate cacophony. “You should have to pay a far greater price, considering that it was your silly mistake that brought the demon slayers knocking on our door. But because I’m merciful, I won’t drag it out for you.”

A seam opens up in the writhing mass of shadows to reveal a maw filled with rows and rows of jagged teeth. The man cries for mercy, pleads with the gods for salvation, before he turns his eyes to you, desperately begging you to save him with the last of his breath. You don’t even spare him a glance when his words are cut off abruptly, the sound of bone crunching and breaking as the demon swallows him whole.

The room falls silent once more.

“And that settles one little problem we have.” The demon says with a satisfied sigh. You don’t move a muscle, hands still clasped behind your back. “If only he were more like you, he wouldn’t have died. The silly man.”

You snatch your air back into your lungs, searching desperately for your voice. “He shouldn’t have stolen that coat.” You breathe out. Your blood seems to have turned to ice in your veins.

“He shouldn’t. If they were all more like you, they wouldn’t have died. He was a selfish, materialistic man.” The demon agrees, its voice a playful hum. A gentle weight rests on top of your head, and suddenly you feel as though you can’t breathe. “I know you’ll never be like that, my darling. You’re my favourite, after all.”

You take that as your permission to leave. “Then, I’ll take my leave first.”

You turn around and walk slowly towards the door, careful to avoid the trail of blood smeared over the carpet. The ominous feeling of death chases at your heels, but you don’t let yourself look over your shoulder as you continue to put one foot in front of the other. When you finally step out into the hallway, you turn back to slide the door shut, and hear the shadows whisper your name.

“Bring me the Pillar’s head, darling.” Even through the gloom, you see its mouth curve into a terrible grin from the dais. “I know you won’t disappoint me.”

You bow your head low.

The door slides shut, the locks and bolts clicking back into place once more. Taking a deep breath to steady your legs, you make your way to the stairs and descend, leaving the locked room behind you like a bad dream pushed to the very recesses of your mind.

Almost no one knows of the topmost floor and the secrets it hides, except for you.

Because you’re the only one who’s walked out of it alive.

#rengoku #rengoku fanfic #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro #kyoujurou #rengoku kyojuro x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer fanfic #kny fanfic #kny #kny kyojuro #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #kimetsu rengoku #kimetsu kyojuro #if you want fluff just stop reading at the page break kdjjfk #me fucking me over ksjbgksfj

125 notes · View notes

arcticdementor · 3 years

Link

Imagine that the US was competing in a space race with some third world country, say Zambia, for whatever reason. Americans of course would have orders of magnitude more money to throw at the problem, and the most respected aerospace engineers in the world, with degrees from the best universities and publications in the top journals. Zambia would have none of this. What should our reaction be if, after a decade, Zambia had made more progress?

Obviously, it would call into question the entire field of aerospace engineering. What good were all those Google Scholar pages filled with thousands of citations, all the knowledge gained from our labs and universities, if Western science gets outcompeted by the third world?

For all that has been said about Afghanistan, no one has noticed that this is precisely what just happened to political science. The American-led coalition had countless experts with backgrounds pertaining to every part of the mission on their side: people who had done their dissertations on topics like state building, terrorism, military-civilian relations, and gender in the military. General David Petraeus, who helped sell Obama on the troop surge that made everything in Afghanistan worse, earned a PhD from Princeton and was supposedly an expert in “counterinsurgency theory.” Ashraf Ghani, the just deposed president of the country, has a PhD in anthropology from Columbia and is the co-author of a book literally called Fixing Failed States. This was his territory. It’s as if Wernher von Braun had been given all the resources in the world to run a space program and had been beaten to the moon by an African witch doctor.

…

Phil Tetlock’s work on experts is one of those things that gets a lot of attention, but still manages to be underrated. In his 2005 Expert Political Judgment: How Good Is It? How Can We Know?, he found that the forecasting abilities of subject-matter experts were no better than educated laymen when it came to predicting geopolitical events and economic outcomes. As Bryan Caplan points out, we shouldn’t exaggerate the results here and provide too much fodder for populists; the questions asked were chosen for their difficulty, and the experts were being compared to laymen who nonetheless had met some threshold of education and competence.

At the same time, we shouldn’t put too little emphasis on the results either. They show that “expertise” as we understand it is largely fake. Should you listen to epidemiologists or economists when it comes to COVID-19? Conventional wisdom says “trust the experts.” The lesson of Tetlock (and the Afghanistan War), is that while you certainly shouldn’t be getting all your information from your uncle’s Facebook Wall, there is no reason to start with a strong prior that people with medical degrees know more than any intelligent person who honestly looks at the available data.

…

I think one of the most interesting articles of the COVID era was a piece called “Beware of Facts Man” by Annie Lowrey, published in The Atlantic.

…

The reaction to this piece was something along the lines of “ha ha, look at this liberal who hates facts.” But there’s a serious argument under the snark, and it’s that you should trust credentials over Facts Man and his amateurish takes. In recent days, a 2019 paper on “Epistemic Trespassing” has been making the rounds on Twitter. The theory that specialization is important is not on its face absurd, and probably strikes most people as natural. In the hard sciences and other places where social desirability bias and partisanship have less of a role to play, it’s probably a safe assumption. In fact, academia is in many ways premised on the idea, as we have experts in “labor economics,” “state capacity,” “epidemiology,” etc. instead of just having a world where we select the smartest people and tell them to work on the most important questions.

But what Tetlock did was test this hypothesis directly in the social sciences, and he found that subject-matter experts and Facts Man basically tied.

…

Interestingly, one of the best defenses of “Facts Man” during the COVID era was written by Annie Lowrey’s husband, Ezra Klein. His April 2021 piece in The New York Times showed how economist Alex Tabarrok had consistently disagreed with the medical establishment throughout the pandemic, and was always right. You have the “Credentials vs. Facts Man” debate within one elite media couple. If this was a movie they would’ve switched the genders, but since this is real life, stereotypes are confirmed and the husband and wife take the positions you would expect.

…

In the end, I don’t think my dissertation contributed much to human knowledge, making it no different than the vast majority of dissertations that have been written throughout history. The main reason is that most of the time public opinion doesn’t really matter in foreign policy. People generally aren’t paying attention, and the vast majority of decisions are made out of public sight. How many Americans know or care that North Macedonia and Montenegro joined NATO in the last few years? Most of the time, elites do what they want, influenced by their own ideological commitments and powerful lobby groups. In times of crisis, when people do pay attention, they can be manipulated pretty easily by the media or other partisan sources.

If public opinion doesn’t matter in foreign policy, why is there so much study of public opinion and foreign policy? There’s a saying in academia that “instead of measuring what we value, we value what we can measure.” It’s easy to do public opinion polls and survey experiments, as you can derive a hypothesis, get an answer, and make it look sciency in charts and graphs. To show that your results have relevance to the real world, you cite some papers that supposedly find that public opinion matters, maybe including one based on a regression showing that under very specific conditions foreign policy determined the results of an election, and maybe it’s well done and maybe not, but again, as long as you put the words together and the citations in the right format nobody has time to check any of this. The people conducting peer review on your work will be those who have already decided to study the topic, so you couldn’t find a more biased referee if you tried.

Thus, to be an IR scholar, the two main options are you can either use statistical methods that don’t work, or actually find answers to questions, but those questions are so narrow that they have no real world impact or relevance. A smaller portion of academics in the field just produce postmodern-generator style garbage, hence “feminist theories of IR.” You can also build game theoretic models that, like the statistical work in the field, are based on a thousand assumptions that are probably false and no one will ever check. The older tradition of Kennan and Mearsheimer is better and more accessible than what has come lately, but the field is moving away from that and, like a lot of things, towards scientism and identity politics.

…

At some point, I decided that if I wanted to study and understand important questions, and do so in a way that was accessible to others, I’d have a better chance outside of the academy. Sometimes people thinking about an academic career reach out to me, and ask for advice. For people who want to go into the social sciences, I always tell them not to do it. If you have something to say, take it to Substack, or CSPI, or whatever. If it’s actually important and interesting enough to get anyone’s attention, you’ll be able to find funding.

If you think your topic of interest is too esoteric to find an audience, know that my friend Razib Khan, who writes about the Mongol empire, Y-chromosomes and haplotypes and such, makes a living doing this. If you want to be an experimental physicist, this advice probably doesn’t apply, and you need lab mates, major funding sources, etc. If you just want to collect and analyze data in a way that can be done without institutional support, run away from the university system.

The main problem with academia is not just the political bias, although that’s another reason to do something else with your life. It’s the entire concept of specialization, which holds that you need some secret tools or methods to understand what we call “political science” or “sociology,” and that these fields have boundaries between them that should be respected in the first place. Quantitative methods are helpful and can be applied widely, but in learning stats there are steep diminishing returns.

…

Outside of political science, are there other fields that have their own equivalents of “African witch doctor beats von Braun to the moon” or “the Taliban beats the State Department and the Pentagon” facts to explain? Yes, and here are just a few examples.

Consider criminology. More people are studying how to keep us safe from other humans than at any other point in history. But here’s the US murder rate between 1960 and 2018, not including the large uptick since then.

So basically, after a rough couple of decades, we’re back to where we were in 1960. But we’re actually much worse, because improvements in medical technology are keeping a lot of people that would’ve died 60 years ago alive. One paper from 2002 says that the murder rate would be 5 times higher if not for medical developments since 1960. I don’t know how much to trust this, but it’s surely true that we’ve made some medical progress since that time, and doctors have been getting a lot of experience from all the shooting victims they have treated over the decades. Moreover, we’re much richer than we were in 1960, and I’m sure spending on public safety has increased. With all that, we are now about tied with where we were almost three-quarters of a century ago, a massive failure.

What about psychology? As of 2016, there were 106,000 licensed psychologists in the US. I wish I could find data to compare to previous eras, but I don’t think anyone will argue against the idea that we have more mental health professionals and research psychologists than ever before. Are we getting mentally healthier? Here’s suicides in the US from 1981 to 2016

…

What about education? I’ll just defer to Freddie deBoer’s recent post on the topic, and Scott Alexander on how absurd the whole thing is.

Maybe there have been larger cultural and economic forces that it would be unfair to blame criminology, psychology, and education for. Despite no evidence we’re getting better at fighting crime, curing mental problems, or educating children, maybe other things have happened that have outweighed our gains in knowledge. Perhaps the experts are holding up the world on their shoulders, and if we hadn’t produced so many specialists over the years, thrown so much money at them, and gotten them to produce so many peer reviews papers, we’d see Middle Ages-levels of violence all across the country and no longer even be able to teach children to read. Like an Ayn Rand novel, if you just replaced the business tycoons with those whose work has withstood peer review.

Or you can just assume that expertise in these fields is fake. Even if there are some people doing good work, either they are outnumbered by those adding nothing or even subtracting from what we know, or our newly gained understanding is not being translated into better policies. Considering the extent to which government relies on experts, if the experts with power are doing things that are not defensible given the consensus in their fields, the larger community should make this known and shun those who are getting the policy questions so wrong. As in the case of the Afghanistan War, this has not happened, and those who fail in the policy world are still well regarded in their larger intellectual community.

…

Those opposed to cancel culture have taken up the mantle of “intellectual diversity” as a heuristic, but there’s nothing valuable about the concept itself. When I look at the people I’ve come to trust, they are diverse on some measures, but extremely homogenous on others. IQ and sensitivity to cost-benefit considerations seem to me to be unambiguous goods in figuring out what is true or what should be done in a policy area. You don’t add much to your understanding of the world by finding those with low IQs who can’t do cost-benefit analysis and adding them to the conversation.

One of the clearest examples of bias in academia and how intellectual diversity can make the conversation better is the work of Lee Jussim on stereotypes. Basically, a bunch of liberal academics went around saying “Conservatives believe in differences between groups, isn’t that terrible!” Lee Jussim, as someone who is relatively moderate, came along and said “Hey, let’s check to see whether they’re true!” This story is now used to make the case for intellectual diversity in the social sciences.

Yet it seems to me that isn’t the real lesson here. Imagine if, instead of Jussim coming forward and asking whether stereotypes are accurate, Osama bin Laden had decided to become a psychologist. He’d say “The problem with your research on stereotypes is that you do not praise Allah the all merciful at the beginning of all your papers.” If you added more feminist voices, they’d say something like “This research is problematic because it’s all done by men.” Neither of these perspectives contributes all that much. You’ve made the conversation more diverse, but dumber. The problem with psychology was a very specific one, in that liberals are particularly bad at recognizing obvious facts about race and sex. So yes, in that case the field could use more conservatives, not “more intellectual diversity,” which could just as easily make the field worse as make it better. And just because political psychology could use more conservative representation when discussing stereotypes doesn’t mean those on the right always add to the discussion rather than subtract from it. As many religious Republicans oppose the idea of evolution, we don’t need the “conservative” position to come and help add a new perspective to biology.

The upshot is intellectual diversity is a red herring, usually a thinly-veiled plea for more conservatives. Nobody is arguing for more Islamists, Nazis, or flat earthers in academia, and for good reason. People should just be honest about the ways in which liberals are wrong and leave it at that.

…

The failure in Afghanistan was mind-boggling. Perhaps never in the history of warfare had there been such a resource disparity between two sides, and the US-backed government couldn’t even last through the end of the American withdrawal. One can choose to understand this failure through a broad or narrow lens. Does it only tell us something about one particular war or is it a larger indictment of American foreign policy?

The main argument of this essay is we’re not thinking big enough. The American loss should be seen as a complete discrediting of the academic understanding of “expertise,” with its reliance on narrowly focused peer reviewed publications and subject matter knowledge as the way to understand the world. Although I don’t develop the argument here, I think I could make the case that expertise isn’t just fake, it actually makes you worse off because it gives you a higher level of certainty in your own wishful thinking. The Taliban probably did better by focusing their intellectual energies on interpreting the Holy Quran and taking a pragmatic approach to how they fought the war rather than proceeding with a prepackaged theory of how to engage in nation building, which for the West conveniently involved importing its own institutions.

A discussion of the practical implications of all this, or how we move from a world of specialization to one with better elites, is also for another day. For now, I’ll just emphasize that for those thinking of choosing an academic career to make universities or the peer review system function better, my advice is don’t. The conversation is much more interesting, meaningful, and oriented towards finding truth here on the outside.

#richard hanania #substack #afghanistan #read the whole thing

11 notes · View notes

foundthe8wing · 4 years

Text

Okay, doing this over here because my main tumblr is usually a place for me to vibe and I don’t want all the bullshit tied to that account, but basically: I’m really angry and disappointed with the dndads cast for how they’ve put a lot of the minors in their fanbase in danger. Everything below is a repost from twitter (with permission from the OP, crypticjoy), and I’ll link the thread in a reblog.

Under a cut because it’s long and potentially triggering (content warnings for grooming, sexualizing minors, and sexual assault)

[OP tagged the relevant cast accounts; I added slashes here bc I’m not sure if those same urls exist on tumblr and I don’t want to be randomly tagging people over here]

5:49 PM Sep 5, 2020

“I don’t usually do this, but: the way that the cast of @/dungeonsanddads engages with their audience is actively dangerous to minors, and they need to get it together. (cw for discussion of grooming, sexualizing minors, sexual assault)

First off, there are some iffy jokes and situations in the podcast itself. I’m not going to get into all of it right here, but have a google doc: [doc will also be linked in reblog]

Yes, the kids in #dndads are fictional, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect real kids listening. a. it normalizes talking/joking about kids in that way and b. There’s a lot of inconsistancy and confusion on the lines they draw--

Paeden saying “baby” is weird but Ron sitting in Terry Jr’s lap isn’t? I’m confused. You know who the fuck relies on that type of confusion and unclarity? Fucking predators

And I’m not saying every in-character decision has to be perfectly moral or acceptable, but the way the cast, out of character, discuss what’s weird and what’s not sends a lot of mixed messages. And that’s legitimately dangerous.

So then you take all of this, and you add a patron discord server that lets nsfw discussions run virtually unchecked--you create a fandom space that allows adults to discuss kinks, and porn searches, and just, all this other stuff, with teenagers...

... and it becomes a breeding ground for grooming and abuse.

The creators aren’t responsible for babysitting their fanbase or for how people engage with their content outside of their spaces (though, again, I’d urge them to be very careful about what kind of messages they’re sending)

But they ARE responsible for taking basic steps to keep the spaces that THEY create and engage with safe.

“But the rules for the server say 18+!” The rules say you have to be 18 *or have parental permission.* They also say to keep things PG-13. That’s vastly different than establishing something as an adult-only/nsfw space.

“Minors shouldn’t be joining/listening anyway!” The cast can’t control who listens and neither can I, but there’s a difference between knowing teens are listening to you discuss sex with your adult friends vs facilitating conversations between teens and adults on those topics.

“If people are uncomfortable they can just leave.” First off, this situation isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s unSAFE. Second: fuck that. It’s not on minors to set and maintain boundaries about this stuff; a lot of them literally do not know how

Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re young and inexperienced. It’s the responsibility of adults to set and enforce healthy boundaries around sexual discussions, and this particular group of adults has done a fucking terrible job

(Maybe don’t encourage listeners to DM you about kinks! Maybe especially don’t do that when you’ve communicated, intentionally or not, that making and escalating sexual jokes is a really good way to get a reaction from you guys)

I get that they didn’t expect to have so many young listeners, but to be aware of that fact and make no adjustments whatsoever is irresponsible and it WILL lead to someone getting hurt. Does their “young, thirsty, female” audience only exist to them when they can laugh about it?

And let’s be absolutely 1000% clear: this isn’t an issue they’re unaware of. The stuff I’m talking about is an ongoing problem with how their server is run, but it came to a head with one specific situation very recently:

They released a bonus, patron-exclusive episode about the dads taking the bdsm test. Given the general state of the server, I was worried about where those discussions might lead, so before it dropped, I reached out to @/anthony_burch to express my concern

He told me he raised the issue with @/fwong and Ashley, meaning at least three members of the dndads team were aware of the situation, and decided it didn’t warrant any type of preemptive action on their part

(alternatively, it means Anthony lied, which would be a whole separate issue)

[Image ID: a discord DM conversation from Sep 1, 2020, between a crossed out username and reverendanthony. It reads:

OP: heyyyyy have you guys considered that releasing an episode focused on the bdsm test is almost inevitably going to lead to a bunch of 15 year olds sharing their results in your server because you might want to get ahead of that before someone gets hurt

reverendanthony: oh holy shit, really good idea

OP: thanks, I know it's easy to veer into that territory just because of the nature of your show but I wanted to bring it to your attention because I figured you don't want to create a situation that's like, actively dangerous (and for the record I'm willing to discuss what I think would make it safer but I'm also not going to assume you want/need my input, obviously you can handle it however you see fit)

reverendanthony: No, thank you for bring it up, I really appreciate it -- I just raised the issue with Freddie and Ashley

OP: Good to know, thank you /End ID]

I’m not overreacting. I have seen this shit happen, to my friends and to myself, and watching the dndads cast take absolutely no meaningful action to prevent situations like that from occurring directly under their noses makes me fucking livid

I can guarantee that the #dungeonsanddaddies fanbase includes both predators and survivors of abuse, grooming, etc (including those currently living through it), and I need them to think very, very hard about which group they’re prioritizing.

And I need that choice to be evident through more than just their words, because it doesn’t fucking matter how much you “really appreciate” that I brought up my concerns if you do fuck-all to address them.

It doesn’t matter how many times you say the word “consent” if apparently everyone was okay that “Darryl gets sexually assaulted” was almost a plot point played for laughs.

(His dare from Scam would have been rape, straight up. Just because no one said the word doesn’t mean it wasn’t coercive and gross).

I’d like to think the @/dungeonsanddads cast isn’t intentionally encouraging abuse, but they’re sure as hell enabling it, and they needed to get their shit together ages ago, because they’re not the ones their negligence hurts.”

Quote retweet by OP 6:51 PM Sep 7, 2020

“So, they updated the rules for the patron server, but I want to be really clear that from my perspective, it’s way too little, way too late.

The new rules don’t adequately address the core issues and they certainly don’t absolve the cast of the harm they’ve already caused.

[Tweet includes 2 screenshots: one of a bot asking people to click thumbs up to confirm they’re 18+ (or have a parent’s permission) and agree to the rules, and one that includes two of the rules. It reads:

“This is an 18+ space. Them’s the rules: per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Use language as if you’re at your parents dinner table. Don’t get people in trouble because of your SPICY POSTS. Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!”]

(and before anyone says I should bring up my concerns privately, a quick refresher on how well that went last time I did it:)

[links back to the “(alternatively, it means Anthony lied . . .)” tweet from the original thread]

So hey, @/fwong, some thoughts:

1.The rules are vague and unclear: what /exactly/ do you mean when you say “NSFW content is not allowed!” when the content of your show itself is so often nsfw? And how are you planning to enforce this?

Does it mean you’ll shut down the MBIC conversation that is literally just kink discussion? I need you to be clear on where the line is, because, again, predators rely on that confusion. Don’t give them a gray area to play in.

For an example of a more clear policy, it’s pretty easy to say, “yep, ‘Henry gets pegged’ sure is a sentence we said on our show and you don’t have to pretend it’s not, but if you’d like to discuss it in any more detail at all, you need to move”

2. Remember how I said I needed to be clear on whether you’re prioritizing survivors or predators? While I doubt it was intentional, the language you’re using here is prioritizing predators.

It’s not “don’t get people in trouble,” it’s “don’t make people uncomfortable.” It’s “we all have a responsibility to make sure this space is safe for everyone, especially the younger members of the community.”

You’re setting people up to be afraid of expressing concerns for fear of “getting people in trouble” or “inciting unnecessary drama.” Even if it’s not what YOU meant, it’s very easy for those words to be manipulated, so +

You absolutely have to be explicitly clear that if someone expresses their discomfort, you’ve got their back. Being safe is more important than being polite.

3. I need every cast member to take responsibility for their own actions. I’ve gotten no indication from any of you that you understand the ways in which the in-show things I brought up were harmful.

Acknowledging that harm is important not just because of the immediate effects of that content, but also because it implicitly sets an example for how similar complaints should be dealt with going forward.

When someone says “hey, I was uncomfortable that you seem fine with the Glennary ship, because she reads as very young to me,” I don’t need a dissertation on how the perception of characters can evolve due to your improvisational nature

I need to hear “oh, I interpreted her differently, but you’re right, we should have been more clear, and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Because your responses to your own mistakes set the tone for any other situations like that going forward.

How comfortable is someone going to be with coming to you, or Ash, or any of the mods about someone making them uncomfortable if they’ve seen that when people call YOU out, they’re argued with and shut down?

Don’t tell people you’ve “made it clear that you won’t go there” when they tell you that you ARE there. Listen to them and do better.

Set the expectation that people will be respected when they raise their concerns. “If you want to come at me you have to bring the heat” is not an appropriate response on a subject that made people genuinely uncomfortable.

In essence: set people up to be supported and protected, not dismissed.

[It’s like a matriosche of tweets over here. This one links to another thread, also by crypticjoy. That thread reads:

A non-comprehensive guide to keeping discord servers safe for minors:

1. Make designated channels for nsfw/18+ discussion. Generally speaking, this is a lot more effective than banning those discussions altogether, because it’s a lot easier to say “hey, can you move this conversation?” than “hey, I need you to stop”

In fandom spaces, it’s usually a good idea to have separate channels for talking about nsfw fiction vs discussing your personal sex lives.

2. Give everyone minor/adult roles; make sure your 18+ channels are locked to people who don’t have an adult role. It’s important that there’s more of a barrier there than just checking a box.

3. NSFW channels shouldn’t necessarily be a free-for-all; be aware of people’s boundaries and respect them (for example, r*pe jokes aren’t funny or okay, even if you’re not making them around kids)

4. Explicitly state in your rules that people should feel free to come to mods if anyone is making them uncomfortable. Actually listen to people and resolve the situation if they do approach you.

5. Make it clear that creepy behavior via DMs or other means is also not tolerated--you can’t control what people do outside your server, but you can make the choice to not allow people like that in your space

6. Make sure mods are on top of things BEFORE people have to say anything; sometimes being a mod means being willing to be the “asshole” who shuts things down before they get out of hand, even if they’re not asked.

Be generally aware of signals that people are uncomfortable or that things are escalating too far, and address those situations sooner rather than later.

*It should be noted that safety involves a lot of components beyond just containing nsfw discussions; this thread just happens to be focused on that one specific element.

oh also! It's a good idea to provide resources on grooming so people know what to look out for [links to some resources; again, this’ll be in the reblog]]

So, @/dungeonsanddads, if you’re interested in anything beyond just having a flimsy excuse you can point to to cover your own ass, I’m gonna need you to try again.

Sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but I’ve given so many benefits of the doubt I could be running a successful charity, and this isn’t an issue I’m willing to drop.

10:02 PM

Thought I was done but actually I've got a few more questions: to what extent were @/HeyBethMay, @/WillBCampos, and @/mattLarnold included in conversations about this issue/the new rules? Is this something your whole team is involved in?

Have you discussed what you're doing on a team and individual basis to keep your fan interactions safe, and are you on the same page about how much it matters? Are you holding each other accountable? Is everyone okay with where this ended up?”

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #cw grooming #cw SA #8wing

137 notes · View notes

tarotonthebrain · 3 years

Text

Messages for your sign

🌠🌈🕯

CRYSTALS W/ SIGN

1.Amethyst/ Water signs

2. Malachite / Earth signs

3. Red Jasper /Air signs

4. Rose Quartz/ Fire signs

each pile is explained in the below 🧿

check your sun,moon & rising.

take what resonates, leave what does not 👁

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓

1. Oracle

2. Situation

3. Advice

4. Outcome

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

AMETHYST/ WATER SIGNS ♓️♋️♏️

📱 Distractions are surrounding you. The modern daily environments, the media is pitching in and taking away your ability to focus. Your attention span is being stolen electronic input. Maybe you’ve have forgotten what it’s like to operate on your own without sharing every experience/ thought with others. Take some time to yourself.

⭐️The star reversed indicates that you were feeling hopeless and the difficult situations are draining you. You need to take responsibility for yourself and your attitude to life. Heal the past and move forward. You can do anything you set your mind to with faith in yourself.

🏆Seven of cups represents options/ multiple possibilities open to you. So many choices lead you to be overwhelmed and unable to focus properly. Limit the amount of things you were taking on to a manageable amount. Be realistic about what you can commit to & you may be indulging in living in a dreamworld.

🕊 It takes courage to sit out on a journey of any kind. If you’re learning something new/ reaching for a dream it can be tricky to reach m where you’re going. Have faith in yourself on your journey.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓

MALACHITE / EARTH SIGNS ♑️♉️♍️

The universe is conspiring in your favor and it’s time to make a wish. If there’s some thing you have a let yourself to leave and go ahead and believe. Belief is what transforms wishes into reality but be careful what you wish for.

⚔️4 of swords Represents fear anxiety and stress. Feeling mentally overloaded and overwhelmed. The issues you’re facing are not as bad as you believe them to be there are solutions available. You are in need of peace and quiet and rest. Meditation would be good for you at this time.

🪄 9 of wands advises you to gather the last of your strength and push forward to be successful. Learn from past failures. This card tells you that you are close to success or nearly there. What needs to be completed?

establish your boundaries and protect the lines. Be clear on how you want to reach your goals & communicate your needs to others. Bring awareness to how you’re actively using your boundaries to protect your energy.

A rebirth feels near, One much different than your present and past. New beginnings and new cycles. Creative/ idea breakthroughs may be surfacing this card starts beginnings of good fortune and positive successful fulfillment.

🦋 Every dream has stages. When new ideas and parts of you are being born you begin your movement toward your dreams. Enjoy the simple joys of life and allow yourself to grow and learn to become more of the beautiful person that you are.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓

RED JASPER / AIR SIGNS ♒️♊️♎️

🎒Put every day life behind you and head out to new territory. New friends and experiences can freshen your perspective on life. inspiration will be found when striking out in new directions. Don’t give into impulsiveness & irresponsibility, stick to your obligations.

🖼 Someone feels stuck in a situation or frame of mind that does not make them happy. you also may be facing a dilemma and are unsure of what path to take. Set outside of yourself and look at the situation from a different perspective. Stop trying to control things, just let them be. Some may be battling addictions / mental health issues / obsessions. Your shadow self may be taking over your mind, control these emotions and reassure yourself. Be loving to yourself & others.

💕🏆Ace of cups shows new beginnings - Sometimes in love, or happiness. Begin new friendships, and don’t be afraid to socialize. Open your heart and get in touch with your desires. Approach life from a place of understanding and compassion. Break out of a limited view of life and be more open to options and possibilities to generate better decisions.

📝In a future position, this card predicts success. You’ll begin to realize that good is coming your way due to planning and dedication. do not stop planning for your future. Think to yourself, How long are you willing to wait for the things you want?

🌍 The world invites you to see yourself as a special member of the family of life - While being connected to everyone else. You can see the special qualities of the earth in yourself, beauty, flow, power & strength. Find a special place in nature to bring yourself to and embrace the energy, animals, and elements there.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓

ROSE QUARTZ/ FIRE SIGNS ♐️♈️♌️

Everything is running smoothly under your supervision, you are on top of things and nothing can escape you. You feel proud of your achievements/ leadership skills. Ease back now and make sure everyone else is getting the chance to learn and grow. You may feel that you were the only one who can keep things up to your standards this attitude leads to burn out. Understand that others learn at a different pace.

⚔️ Two of swords represents being at a cross road and making/avoiding a decision.Someone may be in denial or blocking emotions. Be careful of becoming isolated in your thoughts. Don’t refuse to feel emotions, address them and make choices with a clear mind.

Some may be feeling unable to let go of pain. Ask for support or accept those who want to help you. Let your healing begin.

🎁 Appreciate everything you have right now and allow yourself to receive blessings fromthe universe. Continue what you’re doing and plan if needed. Stick to your schedules. You may be a natural planner without knowing it.

🦉 We use our eyes and ears to sense around us but take time to listen to your inner voice. Pay attention to your inner senses, what feels good & light in the moment. Use your inner eyes to imagine the different options you have. Feel each scenario with your body. Practice trusting your inner voice.

#astrology #crystals #free tarot readings #oracle reading #oracle #oraclecards #tarot #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #tarotreading #angel numbers #tarotdaily

17 notes · View notes

rachelbethhines · 4 years

Text

Tangled Salt Marathon - Rapunzel Day One

This is decent episode, and one of the few that isn’t filler in season two, but because there are problems with the over all character acs, there’s problems here with episode too.

Summary: Rapunzel and Cassandra come across an abandoned magic stall while searching for parts of their destroyed caravan. The stall contains a wand of forgetting. Cassandra impulsively wishes that Rapunzel would "just forget about everything" when she was tired of her trying to patch things up between them, which results in Rapunzel regressing to when she was still in her tower with Gothel.

The Episode Order is Confusing

So this and The Brothers Hook aired on the same day. Now in the production order listing, Rapunzel Day One is suppose to come before The Brothers Hook and that’s how it’s ordered on Disney Plus. Which is where I’m watching this marathon and getting all my screen caps.

However The Brothers Hook did air before this episode according to Wikipedia. Also Hook Foot is nowhere to be seen with nary a word. So placing The Brothers Hook before would indeed make more sense in that regard.

Yet Raps and Cass aren’t fighting in The Brothers Hook, so I don’t understand how this was supposed to originally work. What’s the correct viewing order here? Is Hook Foot just off screen with Fidella this episode, or is Cass and Raps ignoring their big fight in The Brother’s Hook?

For Someone With a Disability Now, It Doesn’t Seem To Affect Things

Ok, to be fair, they do show Cassandra practicing here and later in Mirror, Mirror trying to relearn how to use her hand, and indeed physical therapy for injuries is a thing. Yet, two scenes isn’t enough to establish that. She regains usage of her hand really quickly and far too easily, given the type of injury it was.

Disabilities, even unseen ones, still impact your everyday life. Yes, they don't ruin your life; you can still do things. But they don't just go away and you have to deal with it.

Finding that balance between not making a character useless, while still recognizing that there are things that they struggle with when writing disabilities is a line that writers have trouble with. But if you’re not going to put in that effort needed to pull it off tastefully then don't introduce the concept.

One Step Forward; Two Steps Back

Rapunzel recognizing that there is a problem, and wanting to fix it before it gets worse, can be viewed as progress. After all, avoiding the issue is why things got so bad between her and Varian. But, she’s still failing to see why Cassandra is upset and so goes about things the wrong way.

And keep in mind, Rapunzel does have every right to be mad at Cassandra, just the same that Cass has a right to be mad at Rapunzel. Both girls screwed up.

Yet, it’s only Rapunzel’s side of things that Rapunzel cares about, and therefore nothing actually gets resolved.

This could have been a decent conflict for season three, but that’s not where the writers take things so we’re just spinning our wheels here.

It’s also kind of shitty that Cass is the only person that Rapunzel is willing to put effort into righting things with. She still doesn’t give a crap about Varian, nor any other villain in the show.

Well I Guess This Has to Come Before The Brothers Hook

They have the caravan in Brothers Hook, don’t they? I mean how else did they meet up with Hook Hand? But if that is the case then where is Hook Foot now? I don’t know.

Cassandra’s Hurt Hand Only Matters When It Concerns Her Relationship With Rapunzel and Not How It Affects Her Character as a Whole

An extension of what I was saying before, but it shows the fundamental problem with the writing for Cassandra. The writers only think of her as a conflict for Rapunzel and not as a person with like her own life and shit.

Long Time, No See Owl

As soon as Hook Foot goes unceremoniously missing, then Owl shows up. I don’t think he’s been seen since season one, yet they act like he’s always been here with the group.

Why is continuity and consistency so hard for this show?

The Saporians Are Indeed Homeless, But Don't Expect That to Ever Be Brought Up

So things to note.

This isn’t a village. It’s an encampment. What we see here are destroyed tents and caravans. The only permanent structure is a short stone wall.

Secondly, the magic book they find has the Saporian symbol on it, and indeed the Saporians use the wand of oblivium to take over Corona in S3.

What we can gather from this is that the Saporians were driven out of Corona after the first war. They’ve been living as nomads for centuries without their homeland.Yet their most recent settlement was destroyed by the black rocks sometime before season one started, along with most of their possessions and means of living.

All of this would explain their motivations, goals, and why they picked now to try and take over and not just any other time.

But don't expect any of that to be brought up or remembered by anyone come season three. We can’t have any po the bad guys, save for Cass, being sympathetic now can we.

Also, just a side note. It’s funny how apothecary is treated as magic and alchemy as a science in this world, when in reality it should be the opposite way around.

This is Not an Apology

If you gotta throw a ‘but’ in there, then you haven’t really apologized.

Rapunzel’s not sorry for Cass getting hurt. She doesn’t recognize nor understands why Cassandra feels the way she does, and she’s even attempting to try to. All Rapunzel cares about is how Cass being upset makes herself feel. She’s putting in this effort to ‘talk about it’ because Cass being outwardly angry at her is inconvenient to herself and nothing more.

Rapunzel Still Hasn't Learned Boundaries

Didn’t we already have this conversation back in season one?

And like, yes, it’s not good for Cassandra to ignore her feelings, but what Rapunzel does here by pushing isn’t a good thing either.

What's most frustrating though is that neither learn anything from this. Just like they didn’t learn anything in Under Raps or Goodbye and Goodwill.

It’s aggravating to see the writers give us an actual conflict that’s worth having the mains fight over, only to be undermined by previous episodes and then thrown away altogether.

So How Come the Wand Only Erases Part of Rapunzel’s Memory and Not All?

Like, this is suppose to be set for season three with Frederic and Arianna losing their memories. Yet despite Clementine using a similar wand, it doesn’t have the same effect on them as it does on Rapunzel here. They lose all their memories and sense of identity, while Raps just forgets a few years.

Speaking Forgetting How Things Work

Where did this handy dandy book with the cure go when Frederic and Arinna lost their memories? Why didn’t Raps go looking for it then, or force the Saparoians to give her the cure while they were in her custody?

So This Plot Point Kind of Back Fires, and Winds Up Undermining Everyone’s Relationship with Rapunzel

First off, just repeating New Dream scenes from the movie, but with Cass in Eugene’s place is ill advised given the direction that the show went in. Whether you ship Casspunzel or not, it’s important to recognize that ‘sisters’ is what they are intended to be in canon. That’s the direction that Chris went with them, whether we like it or not. So either no one on the show knows how to write platonic female relationships, or this is gay baiting. Take your pick.

It’s also lazy.

But most damaging is that this only shows that Cassandra only liked Rapunzel when she was naive and stupid, and not the Rapunzel we have now. Tie in how her friendship with Rapunzel is based off of validation to begin with and we got a very unhealthy relationship, and not one that should be rooted for, despite the show wanting you to do just that.

They even go so far to repeat the lines from the flashback in the last episode, as if this was a positive thing in their dynamic, instead of recognizing it for the really mess up thing that it.

Then there’s the Eugene side of things that this calls into question.

We know Eugene loves Rapunzel through thick and thin, but how much of their relationship is based off their first adventure together and not about how they work together in the here in now?

Did Rapunzel just simply latch on to Eugene because he’s the first person that she met who wasn’t her mother and wound up being nice to her? If anyone else found her, would she be in a relationship with them instead? Is it healthy for her to never look for anything else? How much does Rapunzel actually like Eugene, for himself?

Then throw in Eugene’s over idealization of Rapunzel in season three, they’re lack of communication issues, and Rapunzel’s crippling need to always be right, and I can’t say if New Dream should be what we’re rooting for either.

This isn’t a Casspunzel vs New Dream thing, nor is it a personal dislike of Rapunzel herself. Rather, it’s a very serious question about the nature of Rapunzel’s interpersonal relationships vs her character development, and how that has to change things on some level, and if it’s still worth having those relationships now that she herself has changed so drastically.

Is everyone being fulfilled? Is everyone getting what they need still? No? Then, why are any of these people still together?

That needs to be addressed by the narrative now, and it never is.

So Why Would You Say That Cass?

Rapunzel doesn’t know where she is and therefore has no idea what direction the tower lies in. If you’re heading south back to the camp then just say the tower is south. In fact it actually is south because you’ve been traveling northeast to the Dark Kingdom for months now, according to the map in Rapunzel’s Return. So what was the point in lying about that?

In in effort make Rapunzel look smart, they had to make Cass look dumb and that’s not good writing. If you needed Rapunzel to suddenly not trust Cass then there were other better ways. The drawing she placed in her pocket should be enough on its own to tip her off, and all she has to do is reach into her pocket to put like a rock she found in there and then find it that way.

So When Did Rapunzel Have Time to Build This Elaborate Mousetrap?

This would have taken hours, it’s not even been minutes.

There’s making Raps competent and then there’s turning her into an overpowered invincible heroine.

Now Pascal Is Missing

Oh is he with fucking Hook Foot now?

He was right on your shoulder Eugene.

If you’re going to have characters conveniently missing then establish that first, preferably in a visual way and not with exposition.

So Rapunzel is Treat As In the Right Even When She’s Not

So Cassandra opening up about her feelings is treated as the solution to the problem, but it’s really not, or it shouldn’t be anyways. She can recognize she lied about the wand without having to doing something she finds uncomfortable, and it’s not like Rapunzel right now has any frame of reference for what Cass is talking about.

All this amounts to is giving Rapunzel a free pass on her earlier bullshit.

Also if Cass repeating a phrase Rapunzel said earlier was all that was needed to jog her memory enough to trust her, then why couldn’t Eugene done the same? He was right there.

This Doesn’t Resolve Anything

Ok first off that’s not what friends do. Friends actually work through shit. Friends make sincere apologies. Friends forgive each when they do.

If you’re not doing that then you’re not friends and you should just leave.

No one, not Raps, not Cass, ever apologizes for what happened in the Great Tree. They never try to understand what either of them did wrong, nor do they put effort into fixing themselves or addressing their issues and flaws.

And you know what? That would be a valid reason for their falling out in season three. But it’s not used as such, so any resolution to their conflict there winds up feeling hollow.

Conclusion

This episode, like with the Great Tree, gave me hope that this was all leading somewhere. Now it’s just a bitter reminder of how screwed up the writers’ morals are in this show, and how poorly planned everything was.

#tangled #anti-tangled #anti-rapunzel #anti-cassandra #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure

78 notes · View notes

kookiepredictions · 4 years

Text

Jungkook’s Real Personality: Prediction

The main thing to remember about Jungkook’s personality is the word Balance. This means 2 things: 1, he has a very complex mix of many different types of personality traits so it is difficult to categorize him as one fixed personality type because he switches and changes a lot according to the situation he is in. 2nd, he needs to constantly work on maintaining balance between all these different traits, many of which are contradictory in nature. Think of him as a juggler juggling many different objects. It means he is capable of juggling so many things at once but it also means that he has to be always careful to keep them balanced otherwise he will face problems.

How is he different from his on screen persona? 1st, he is a lot more mature and intelligent than he is shown. Remember he has a Virgo sun which naturally makes him very calm and responsible, even without trying. He is a very responsible person. If he’s given a task, he will see to its completion to the point that if he can’t do it for some reason, he will think he is useless. It’s very important for him to feel useful, especially for those who he cares about. Also his Leo moon gives him a protective nature which doubles his desire of being there for his loved ones. He is the type of friend, partner, family who will never leave you alone in trouble, he will always be there for you, even if sometimes he doesn’t need to. But there is 1 condition here. He does not like to be manipulated. He hates manipulative behaviour and this grows bigger as he grows older. Jungkook usually is the type of person who speaks less and speaks last. He will always listen more. He will observe more. If you try to manipulate him, he won’t speak out immediately. He will silently watch you first, be completely sure that you are manipulating him without any instigation on his part, and are showing no signs of changing, then he will walk away from you without even looking back, even if you are so much as dying. In fact he can take this anger so far that he would wish for your harm and be happy at your misery. However, he will never actually do anything to harm anyone, even those who hurt him. His anger comes from a place where he deeply feels it is wrong to break someone’s trust so he would wish for your harm so that you can learn your lesson and never break someone’s trust again. I also feel this part of his personality is changing as he matures. In the near future, he will become more vocal right from the start as soon as he sees someone treating him wrong, and quickly decide to break ties instead of staying silent and seething inside. Once he parts ways, he will also let it go quickly and forgive the person, wish them good luck and move on with his life.

This brings me to the point that he has a short temper. It’s not so much that he is quick to anger, it’s more like he tends to hold grudges for a long time. Most of the time, his anger doesn’t even play out as loud outbursts. He is more likely to express his anger by completely shutting you out. He would refuse to even tell you why he is angry but also want you to coax him repeatedly to share his thoughts. Sometimes he could break this pattern and immediately express his anger even at an inappropriate time, but this happens less frequently. The reason of his anger stems from his perfectionism. We all know Jungkook is a perfectionist. And he expects the same level of perfectionism and dedication from everyone around him. His anger is more of an impatience. I won’t be surprised if he mentally says things like, Why are people so slow and clumsy? Why can’t people see the obvious? Why are people so stupid? Like 100 times a day lol typical Virgo male. So Jungkook really mostly gets angry out of impatience. He is a very sincere and dedicated person and gives his 200% in everything so when someone can’t keep up with him, he gets very impatient.

There is also another thing about his anger. Very rarely will he get angry at your first mistake. For example, if you meet him for the first time and say spill a drink on his shirt, he might get a tad annoyed but he will smile let it go. He will even forgive your 2nd, 3rd, 4th mistakes. The point where he gets angry is the point where you have made several mistakes. So when he gets angry you will tend to feel he gets angry too easily but actually he ignored your mistakes for quite a few times before but you didn’t notice nor did you change your behavior. Jungkook tends to observe people for a while and then classify them into categories. His attitude towards you will depend on how he has categorized you, not on your first mistake. So if he has classified someone as a trouble maker, he will easily snap at them, and if he has classified someone as a good person, he will be more patient with them. This classification is not permanent of course and changes with time as per as your behavior. So if Jeon Jungkook treats you badly, be sure that he had given you plenty of chances to redeem yourself and he probably also has the receipts to prove it lol. This classifying system extends to everyone, whether you are a close friend or a stranger. So a waiter spilling drinks on him will be the same as a close friend spilling drinks on him. In fact, the waiter has more chances of being forgiven because it was a genuine first mistake, but a close friend could get yelled at if they repeatedly did this.

Jungkook tends to have very high expectations from those he cares about. But not in a superficial way. It is actually a love language for him. He puts a lot of importance on self development, which he himself follows. So he believes anyone who wants to do well in life should do this and that’s the advice he gives everyone. Remember when he told us to practice because there’s nothing that gets worse with practice? This is a very strong belief in him. But those around him can feel burnt out by his high expectations because not everyone thinks like him right? Especially not all the time. But he often fails to understand this and gets upset because he thinks they are self sabotaging by not focusing on their self improvement. However, this is another thing I see changing in him. He will gradually learn to be more understanding of differences in nature and opinions of people and learn to guide them without overstepping boundaries.

On the other hand, Jungkook knows and respects boundaries. He does not give unsolicited advice. But with him it’s like, he has to be specifically told what the boundaries are. If you are vague, for example, if you go to him asking for advice, he will take it upon himself to fully transform you and will hover over you, almost forcing you to do things his way. His reasoning would be that it was you who came to him for help and this is exactly the help you need. So you have to always show him clear boundaries. But once they have been set, he will always respect it because he is quite independent himself and respects personal space.

Jungkook has a pretty high IQ and he has a really high EQ. He could even be as book smart as Namjoon but it is something he almost chooses not to do. You will notice that he is really good at memorising English lines, he hardly forgets what he memorises. That’s book smart for you. But it’s almost as if he detests being so. He chooses to be street smart instead. His outfits are a reflection of this. It’s a subtle subconscious act of rebellion against system and authority, which he has always sort of felt oppressed by, since he is a K Pop idol. And since he can’t really quit, he takes every small opportunity to establish his individual choice, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Book smart or street smart, Jungkook is someone very thirsty for knowledge. He does actually read more than we know, but he mostly chooses to get his knowledge through more dynamic methods, one of which is by observing other people.

This brings me to the next point. Jungkook is extremely interested in people. He learns a lot, like new concepts, what is right or wrong, new ideas, etc. by observing people, not just in terms of work, but also personality wise. This is why he is so good at imitating people, which makes me think he could also become an actor someday and be successful at it. His high EQ also makes him understand people more than we know.

Although mature, Jungkook is also very childlike in a lot of ways. Especially when he thinks and acts from his heart. He genuinely loves people even before fully knowing them. He simply loves them because loving people is a good thing to do. His love also comes from gratitude. Which is why his love for Armys is so genuine. He does not fake it because he does not need to fake loving or being grateful. It is only when someone gives him a solid reason to be angry or sad with, that he changes his attitude towards them. Jungkook is someone who you can easily walk up to and he will be very polite and nice to you. However, he is not the type to make immediate close friends because he is very reserved and he will carefully screen everyone before allowing them into his private circle. But he is also the type to always smile at his acquaintances and people he regularly sees even if they are not close friends. He won’t ignore anyone just because he doesn’t know them or because they are beneath his level. In this sense Jungkook is very down to earth. He is also quite righteous. He deeply believes that it is wrong to misbehave with people due to their positions in society. I feel like he might have been mistreated when he was not successful (I mean we all know all of BTS was so it’s very likely) which is why he makes sure he doesn’t do that now that he is successful.

Having said that though, Jungkook is not extremely approachable. There is a certain air of unattainabilty that he deliberately keeps around himself. For example, if you met him at a private party or something instead of a televised BTS event, you will clearly know that he is a big celebrity. He doesn’t misbehave with anyone, he is actually quite polite, but people just feel that star aura. It’s almost like a protective shield for him. You couldn’t approach him unless he clears that air and makes himself approachable. Otherwise you will just look at him from far away, admire him (or hate him) and go away. This is not something he does to belittle others, this is a defence mechanism against those that try to get close to him to get some benefit off of him or manipulate him, which he is actually quite aware of.

Jungkook is not easily manipulated as I discussed earlier. But he always puts up a front as if he is extremely vulnerable and gullible so that people underestimate him and show their true colors quickly. Meanwhile he observes, classifies, and moves on before you could even tell what happened there.

When I say Balance is a big challenge for him it’s because he has many different personality traits that directly contradict each other. For example, he’s a careful planner but he also gets bored of routine very quickly. He takes each decision very slowly but sometimes he will be shockingly spontaneous. He is independent but he is also clingy. All of these are parts of him but it’s almost as if he struggles to keep up with them because he doesn’t know which one will come out when. Achieving balance and control over all of his different qualities will make him a truly unique and unstoppable person.

Besides balance, the biggest challenge Jungkook has is his rigidity of beliefs. He has very good intentions, good energy and drive, but he has to learn to be more flexible and adaptive, both when dealing with his work and people. He also tends to have a scarcity mentality which often manifests his worst fears into reality. The more he wants to avoid certain things, the more they come up in his life, simply because he is constantly living in fear.

Jungkook has a very strong heart chakra. He is literally love personified. He loves love. He loves to see it and he loves to experience it. It’s an adventure he yearns for. But his fear always takes him away from it. Either in terms of problems in his relationships or breakups or interferences and scandals. In spite of that, he always bounces back and his heart chakra heals pretty quickly. Not in a promiscuous way where he is serial dating. This is more like his heart is always a place for true love, it does not store any negative energy for too long. This is why Jungkook’s biggest successes will result from decisions he takes based on his deep feelings. This is also because he has a habit of overthinking so feelings can solve this problem. For example, if he has to take a big work decision, he tends to overthink it from all directions and get confused because every option seems right. But if he listens to his feelings about it, he will find the right answer. Operating from his heart chakra will also make him centered and grounded to achieve that required balance between his many personality traits.

Another big tool at Jungkook’s disposal is his throat chakra. Jungkook is very communicative. He believes that the foundation of all good relationships, the solution to all problems is communication. However, he struggles with timing and empathy quite often. He sometimes says the right things at the wrong time creating misunderstandings that he did not intend. Or stays silent that allows people to paint a wrong picture of him. He also sometimes fails to see things from others’ points of view and tends to see his thoughts and beliefs as the be all and end all.

His biggest tools also have the biggest blocks. It’s like his heart chakra is this huge power generator inside him but it’s blocked because he keeps it shut or underutilized and lets his brain do all the work, which is only half his power and potential. And his throat chakra is blocked because he is too worried about other people’s judgement of him which blocks his flow of communication.

However, the biggest strength of Jungkook and my favorite thing about him is that he is very open minded and willing to learn. He is rigid with his thoughts only when he truly believes he is in the right. If you can logically and respectfully show him where he is wrong, he will immediately proceed to change his ways. He is a true lifelong learner and this is what will ultimately lead him to massive success. He is proud only with things that he believes to be right, as he has a very strong set of values. But he doesn’t let pride get in the way of self development, in fact he is always on the lookout for opportunities that will improve him in some way or the other.

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #bts jungkook #bts jeongguk #jungkook prediction

163 notes · View notes

dashielldeveron · 4 years

Text

Viper IX: Compos Mentis

Summary: You have one brain cell left, and by God, she’s going to have a good time tonight.

Warnings: swears, the law. Injury. Claustrophobia?

“Are you actually wearing that out?”

Clenching your jaw, you glanced at him in the mirror. Tom leaned against the doorframe while he pulled the knot in his tie, smoothing it down. “I am not speaking to you,” you said, fiddling to clasp your necklace.

With a flash of his eyebrows, Tom darted his eyes to the side. “You can’t wear red out in public. Especially if it’s a formal event. Just saying.”

“I don’t give a shit about your personal tastes.”

He bit back a comment, trudging closer to you. “When you’re with the mob, wearing red means you’re a ho. It’s mostly why everyone hates the girlfriend at the beginning of The Godfather. Do you want everyone to think you’re not a woman of honour? Put on something green, or something.”

You got the little lever underneath your fingernail, but it slipped out before you could connect it. “Should I slip on a maid outfit for you, master?”

Tom gripped the back of your chair, ducking his head in a grimace. “You can’t act like this when we get to the gala.”

“I don’t plan to,” you said, pulling the chain as far out in front of you as possible to get a look at what you’re dealing with, “but I won’t play the part perfectly. I’m not scared of you anymore.”

“You should be,” he said under his breath, and his hand came around your shoulders to slap away your own hands away from the necklace. “You’ve been a smart-mouthed snake to me. You’re on thin fucking ice.” He fastened it for you before sliding the clasp to the back of your neck.

***

After Harrison handed over your invitations to the suspiciously over-enthusiastic front-of-house staff, the three of you were ushered to what was functioning as a coat room before being loosed in the Natural History Museum.

You’d spent days upon days in the place for work, so you fidgeted while Tom and Haz greeted the positively sexy dinosaur skeletons in the foyer. Yes, yes, good, good. One of the best fossil collections in the world. But let’s go to the weird stuff, okay?

Not okay.

Though you took Tom’s arm as fucking instructed, he still had the gall to spit “Shut up, or I’ll kick your ass” at you when the first group of suits approached.

They didn’t like your snarky joke about carbon dating.

“I thought I told you to shut up,” Tom hissed in your ear, and you, simpering, playfully swatted him away, your eyes completely dead.

They worked their way through a couple of groups of people and exhibits—a good portion of these wealthy attendees had recently been freed from small gang rule; the Fratelli family had absorbed them about a month ago, and if Tom could persuade those near boundary lines, they might come over to your side.

You didn’t mind too much, because you knew more about everyone, generally, particularly if they were female-led (that kind of pissed you off, though, because hasn’t he unlearned his biases yet?). You had to remind him who some people were as they drew near, but you did it on impulse to obey (that kind of pissed you off, too).

What made you fume, though, was that Tom straight up didn’t introduce you to anyone. Harrison and himself, yes, along with establishing connections with other people already spoken to, but you? Not even the cover story that you were his lawyer for Osseous. Just…living up to their expectations, you supposed, that women were accessories.

When Tom had withdrawn his arm so that he could write something down for some lousy, old dudes who wouldn’t fucking leave, you took the opportunity to dig out your phone (your dress had pockets! The women you’d met had shared in your joy, showing off their own pockets if they had any).

You shot off a text to Adrien, letting him know you were there (he wanted you to see the lights at the front of the gem hall before they opened it up; he’d redone them while you were under house arrest)—and, you supposed, you could reply to the twenty-one texts Glory Pham had sent you, badgering you for your presence.

“Who are you texting?” Tom looked over your shoulder. “I thought I just saw a heart emoji.”

“Oh, come on,” you said, lowering your phone, “It’s noth—what is the fuck?”

Glory Pham primly snatched your phone out of your hands, pinching it between her thumb and index finger. “I’m confiscating this.”

“Oh,” you said, your shoulders heaving, “You startled me, Ms. Pham.”

Glory slipped your phone into a hidden, deep pocket in her Ao Dai. “Constant vigilance. You, too, Mr. Holland. And associate,” she said, narrowing her eyes at Harrison.

“Ms. Pham,” you said as they fumbled for their phones in their suit jackets, “I am a grown-ass woman. I can function at this fundraiser with my phone on my person.”

“As an ass-woman, you can’t if you want to catch every. Minute. Detail.” Glory glared up at you. “I want your undivided attention. If something goes wrong, I want you to notice. Pack away your little outside life and live in this moment. If you do well enough to ensure tonight goes smoothly, I may even associate with you in the future.”

You sighed as she ferreted away the other phones. It’d be nice if you could command Tom and Haz like that, but what do you, the consigliere, have that compares with a museum curator? “How will I find you if there’s something I can’t fix?”

“You’ll be able to. We open the gem hall in an hour. I want you there in fifty minutes.”

Your eyes glazed over as she strode away, and you swayed slightly. Oh, don’t have an episode now. That wouldn’t be ideal.

“Good evening, Mr. Holland,” came a voice from behind you, and Tom turned, guiding you with his hand on the small of your back. You let your vision blur for a moment before focusing on some guy you didn’t recognise. “I represent the D’Aleos. I have someone in the Hall of Amphibians and Reptiles wanting to discuss something with you.”

Tom quirked an eyebrow, a shine to his eyes that hadn’t been there for anyone he’d spoken to so far. “What about?”

“He wants to hire someone as a neutral mediator for a boundary squabble. One of your men—well, actually, the Viper.”

“Oh?” Tom’s hand slid from the small of your back to press into your waist. “I’m sure she’ll be interested to hear that. I’ll have to call her after the negotiation, if we can all be cordial. Lead the way.”

What in the do-huh? Bitch?

He led the three of you through the Egyptology section while you held Tom at the back to hiss at him.

“The fuck are you on? I’ll have to call her afterwards?” You clutched at his arm, curling your fingers in to make it hurt. “Who am I, then? Are you gonna introduce me as your whore?”

Tom bent his head towards you with an easy smile that wasn’t directed at you. “If you keep being so cheeky, they’ll think that, anyway.” He gave a little wave to a passer-by and lowered his voice. “You’re the one who wanted to wear red.”

This is dumb. I just want to hear John Mulaney.

The D’Aleo guy led you into the Hall of Amphibians and Reptiles and gestured towards a tank with a heavily labelled, taxidermy komodo dragon, and when you rounded it, Tom broke into a genuine grin.

“Jacob,” he said, shaking his hand, followed by Harrison. “Where have you been? How’d you get hooked with the D’Aleos?”

“Good to see you, too. They hired me to plan an operation, and I wasn’t doing anything besides coding for my regular client—normal work stuff. So, I agreed. What have you been up to?”

“Eh, this and that. Mostly the bomb threat,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets. “Sneaky little buggers, those. What’s this with the Viper?”

“Oh,” said Jacob, his eyes bulging momentarily, “So, I’ve planned their fucking thing, but there’s this old money family right on the boundary of where we’re crossing, and they’ve pulled some shit lately that won’t stand.” He ran his fingers through his heavily slicked back hair. “Me, I’m just the guy in the chair. I don’t deal with people. Your Viper, though—I know she can wrap them around her finger.” He jerked his head to the side. “The don wanted her, too. Once the idea got planted in his head, it wouldn’t leave. He doesn’t want to upset the old money. They have a bit of a legacy in the police force, and, well, you know what’s going on with them.”

“Coward,” said Harrison, lifting and doling out flutes of champagne from a passing server (you almost dropped yours due to the condensation, and Harrison had to grip your hands and the flute to keep it from falling—the conversation lulled while this happened, Tom quietly watching). “The don must really need the operation to go well.”

“Oh, man, he really fucking does,” said Jacob before tossing back some champagne. “He’s been through a lot of personal shit lately, with his wife and son, and shit, and he’s been—you know, work stuff.” He gave a dismissive wave. “And now he’s in super hot water because he got exposed this morning for rigging the last mayoral election. He’s a mess.”

Harrison frowned. “What, he got exposed?”

“He was practically etherised upon a table for something he didn’t deserve. Well,” said Jacob, “That’s his opinion.”

“What happened?”

Jacob shot a look at Tom and over to Haz (who were you?). “You mean you—you’re involved in it, too. I was relieved you even showed up tonight. I thought you’d be MIA.”

Tom clenched his hands into fists. “What happened?”

“I should’ve brought a copy, but who thinks to brings a newspaper to a fundraiser? It’s this morning’s Times. The Epiales article lays out all of us for our shit in local politics.”

Tom’s face went blank.

“Compares us to Italian mob control in the sixties and seventies and then to the Irish mob. Explains that there’s still mafia involvement in America in spite of the RICO Act. Then he goes back and puts us against mob rule in history. Focuses on the Roman Empire and the French Revolution.”

Harrison swallowed champagne thickly, sticking his tongue in his cheek. “Which French Revolution?”

“The one in 1789, dumbass,” said Jacob, and he winced. “Though he goes on to delineate the Hundred Days, the July Revolution, and the June Rebellion.”

“The fuck are those? Are they even real?”

“I looked them up after. They’re real.”

Tom finally spoke (his fingertips were just barely trembling around his champagne flute). “What exactly does it say about us?”

“It’s rough, Tom. The D’Aleos definitely have it worse, but.”

“Spit it.”

Jacob scrunched up his face. “He doesn’t mention the Hollands by name. You’re good there. But he does mention by name people you’re not even one degree of separation from, like Judge Le and that Bauman guy in Brooklyn, along with a bunch of guys you have on payroll with the police. They’re out, Tom, and if they talk, you are, too.”

Tom closed his eyes and slowly raised his finger to his mouth to bite his knuckle. “Anything else?”

“Your gentrification process for the heights for the last two years was laid out. Roman Empire shit, apparently.”

It took a bit for Tom to open his eyes. When he did, he drained his champagne flute and reached for yours, taking a large gulp from your still-full flute. He cleared his throat. “I’m gonna find Epiales and choke him with my own two hands.”

You took a moment to consider if you were into that.

“Someone’s—oh, my God,” said Tom, leaning on the komodo dragon tank (he really shouldn’t be doing that!), “I have to kill a traitor on the inside. Last time we had to do that, my dad was in charge.”

Harrison shook his head. “Do we let anyone else in rank know?”

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose. “Um, no. No. That’ll give them time to panic and maybe escape. Oh, my God.”

Did you know that the Komodo dragon (Varanus komodoensis) are the heaviest lizards on Earth, reaching over 300 pounds and up to ten feet in length? They live only on Indonesia’s Lesser Sunda Islands, preferring the tropical forests and the valleys in which they were hatched. They are capable of walking up to seven miles per day and running at speeds up to twelve miles per hour.

Haz pinched his lip. “C’mon, we’ve got newspaper people on the payroll. Someone’s bound to know at least where Epiales’s IP address is, right?”

“Not at the Times. God, I don’t even know who to go to,” said Tom, and he turned to you, his forehead glistening under the yellow lights. “Isn’t this where you chime in with something helpful?”

The Komodo dragon has venom glands laced with toxins that induce shock, lower blood pressure, prevent clotting, and cause bleeding. When the Komodo dragon sinks its serrated teeth and yanks with its strong neck muscles, it leaves massive, gaping wounds in its prey, and it’s close to what you’re about to do to Tom.

“How can I help,” you asked flatly, “I’m just a smart-mouthed snake. Why don’t you set that Viper lady on them? I bet she’d know what to do.”

“Yes, I bet she would,” said Tom through clenched teeth.

“I just don’t understand all this man stuff,” you said, smiling vaguely as Jacob noticed you for the first time, “I think I should let you big boys discuss it alone. My head is starting to hurt with all these words I don’t know. Find me before the night’s over, though, because we have to fit in that blow job you paid me for.” You gave his bicep a squeeze and left their group to stand like the Blair Witch facing the front wall of the exhibit hall.

You counted to ten before turning around and patting your thigh. “Hot boy! Useless, hot boy! Come here and make yourself useful! Hot boy! You simply have to learn this fun fact about the American alligator!”

Through the tanks of taxidermy, you made out a scowling Tom shaking his head and handing the champagne glasses to Harrison. “Oh? Did you think I was talking to you? I meant Harrison!”

So, Tom held three, empty champagne flutes next to Jacob while Haz jogged to the front of the hall towards you, where you grinned as you leant against the alligator exhibit. “Seen any good movies lately?”

“Yeah, I saw one earlier today called What the Fuck Are You Doing? I would ask you if you were drunk,” Harrison said, jovially crossing his arms and joining you in propping his weight against the tank, “but I know better.”

“I read all of the information on the Komodo dragon and wanted to learn about other reptiles.”

“Are you gonna let him stew?”

“Yeah.” You shifted to cross one ankle over the other. “You’ve seen the way he’s been talking about me tonight, right?”

“I don’t know what else you’ve argued about recently,” said Harrison, nudging you with his shoulder, “and don’t think I can’t tell, but yeah, even just tonight would piss me off, if it were me. Not sure it excuses your behaviour.”

“So, what,” you said, clicking your tongue, “I couldn’t say, Say hello to your raging erection for me, since he didn’t have one, so I whipped out an equivalent. Jacob knows him, anyhow, so there’s no real harm done. Be grateful I’m not acting out in a way that matters.”

“Viper,” said Haz, facing you full on and away from Tom and Jacob, “What’s going on between you and him? He doesn’t even mention you when he comes in to work nowadays. Someone does, and he goes stony. Goes on to ignore you. What’s happening?”

You sighed, biting your lip and fiddling with your necklace. “Harrison, tell me I’m pretty.”

“Were I not mourning my girlfriend,” he said, crossing his heart with his index finger, “I would be trying to fuck you in the closest bathroom.”

“Thank you,” you said, “Even though that’s not what I was going for.”

“I think you’re absolutely gorgeous,” came a voice from the entrance—oh, Adrien? He took a hesitant step towards Harrison and you. “Thought it was as good a time as any to budge in. Am I interrupting?”

“Nor really. Harrison, I don’t think you met Adrien. He’s been working with Ms. Pham and me on the gem exhibit,” you said, smiling while they shook hands, “He’s the master electrician; he does the lights. Makes sure every facet of the diamond is flaunted. Adrien, this is my co, Harrison.”

“Thought I wouldn’t find you, since Glory’s taken my phone,” said Adrien.

Harrison cocked his head. “Yours, too? What’s with that woman?”

“Something about technology removing you from the moment.” Adrien shrugged, twisting the bottom of his champagne flute and popping it off. “To be fair, it works.”

“Is Glory looking for me?” you asked, wincing.

“No,” said Adrien, but he cringed after your sigh of relief as he went on. “But I’ve just been told she wants us to help catering strike when this is all over.”

“Fuck,” you said, “That is nowhere in my job description.”

Harrison placed a hand on your shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just pissed,” you said, frowning. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Tom waving off Jacob and striding your way. “Hey, why don’t we skive off together? It’s the end of the job. It’s not like she can get rid of us, and we can act like we don’t know—”

Tom swiped Harrison’s hand off your shoulder to stand between you. The conversation stopped completely while you glared at the spot he touched, but you didn’t acknowledge Tom himself.

“Anyway,” you said, edging closer to Haz and Adrien, trying to close the circle, “We could skip strike together, go get cheesecake somewhere while we’re in formalwear, and chill. You in?”

Adrien’s toothy smile lit up his whole face, but Harrison was fighting with difficulty to conceal his own. “Absolutely,” said Adrien, brushing his blond hair out of his eyes, “The closest place is Bones, but we could probably get to Milly’s without much trouble.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you said, “And if we can’t get out of it, we should blare our music throughout the museum; the acoustics are so good here.”

Tom clamped his free hand on your shoulder, and you looked down at it. “Hey, you can’t just ignore me.”

“Don’t touch me,” you said, narrowing your eyes.

He squeezed your shoulder. “Then behave, goddammit,” said Tom, “You’re being outrageous. Can’t you pay attention to me?”

You knocked the champagne flutes out of his hand, and they clattered to the floor. You opened your mouth in Haz’s and Adrien’s direction as if nothing happened, but Tom grumbled from the floor before you could speak.

“Stop being so childish. You’re like a goddamn cat,” he said, standing.

“Oh, so I’m a cat, now? Is it because cats are held in binary comparison to dogs which are seen as inherently masculine whereas cats are seen as inherently feminine and therefore bad, crazy, and more easily sexualized? Or is it because snakes do not have fat stores and thus can’t have tiddies?”

Harrison had to bite down on his fist.

“V, when we get out of here,” Tom began.

You raised an eyebrow. “What you gonna do, fire me?”

“I have half a mind to.”

“I wonder where the other half wandered? Adrien,” you said, rubbing his arm, “Do you think catering has apple juice anywhere?”

“Maybe in the downstairs kitchen, near where they do the kids’ demonstrations.” Adrien shifted his weight to his other foot, his eyes flicking between the three of you.

“Good, I’m going. It was nice to catch you before Glory wears us out. You,” you said, jabbing Tom in the chest with an entirely different demeanor, “Don’t follow me. I don’t care what you have to say to me. Leave me alone for three whole minutes.”

Adrien laughed nervously while you strode off towards the staircases, and your heart throbbed at leaving him in such a tense situation.

But holy shit. What are you doing, Tom Holland?

Apple juice. Right. The closest staircases led to mammals, but the ones nearest the Kids’ Korner would have you doubling back through Egyptology. Since reading about Nefertiti or some other woman pharaoh would give you a real lift, you retraced your steps to that section.

You came to a halt at the entrance to Egyptology and bit the inside of your cheek. The main lights had been turned off, leaving only the exhibit spotlights. Sure, the big-ass pyramid recreation was lit but not the sarcophagi, tools, statues, or any of that stuff. Huh. You had to go in a booth sectioned off from the public to mess with the lights, so it couldn’t have been some clueless shit. Adrien would have mentioned if he’d altered anything, not that Glory would have let him.

Yeah, okay.

You scanned the hall as you wove your way through it, not noticing anything out of place, really, though the mould of this particular pharaoh’s open sarcophagus appeared oddly angular compared to what you traditionally pictured as a death mask—

“Viper,” a garbled, altered voice spat in your ear; a glove slapped over your eyes—as a short blade sank into your lower back. “You seem eager to be eaten alive.” Shoving in the knife to the hilt, he twisted it. “I can provide you with some opportunities.”

You—hunched, jaw dropped—

“Now,” he said, breath hot on your skin, “take a walk off my knife.”

“Viper! Hey, the fuck are you doing?” Tom’s voice echoed in the hall as he footsteps rushed nearer; your assailant’s shoulder pressed between yours as his head whipped around, his control on the knife slipping while it ripped up through your dress, leaving a thin cut up your back—which you didn’t even register before he’d bolted.

Tom was speaking, lifting you up from the floor (when had you fallen?). “And this is why you can’t go wandering off like that.” When you staggered, he gripped your hands. “Wait, are you hurt?”

“Wow,” you said, exhaling slowly while you pulled the neckline of your dress up, “Am I hurt—” You were interrupted this time not by your dumbass boss but by your assailant fucking ramming Tom in the back, shoving both of you into the angular sarcophagus that leant against the wall, and he slammed the lid closed.

You tilted your head, listening. “Okay, four clicks in succession, that means this is probably one of the refitted-re-hinged sarcophagi archaeologists did in the 50s,” you said, while Tom scrambled to pry it open. “It’s not gonna work. These were designed to stay shut travelling on ships.” Sighing, you closed your eyes, bending your head enough to graze Tom’s nose in the dark, but then your eyes flew open. “Holy shit, I’m bleeding on a mummy; oh, my God, fuck.”

Through the light of the slim crack, you could make out that Tom had furrowed his brow. “You’re bleeding?”

“I’m on a mummy,” you said, your chest heaving, grabbing the front of Tom’s suit to try to lift yourself from the body, but it still grazed you. “I’m getting my own DNA on a millennia-old body, holy fuck, holy fuck. I need to get out right now.” You wrapped your arms under his, sliding up his back to grip his shoulders—that worked a little better, but that thing’s crossed hands still touched you. “Oh, my fuck.”

“Hold on. Where are you bleeding?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—I got stabbed. I got fucking stabbed,” you said, slipping one of your legs between his while he braced himself against the sarcophagus sides. “I am ruining a goddamn mummy. I’m going to archaeology jail. Possibly real jail. Bonk.”

“Slow down. Where were you stabbed?”

“Slow down? I am lying on a mummy, Tom. Holy shit,” you said, “Get me the fuck off.”

Tom took a moment, his eyelashes illuminated by the scant light as he blinked twice, and he mumbled, “Right, then. C’mon, let’s swop places.”

“Huh? Is there room?”

“We’re going to try,” he said, and after a stretch of struggling, he shifted you as delicately as he could. In the end, you lay on top of him, lying atop the mummy.

You bent to bury your face in his chest so that you wouldn’t be snorting straight mummy dust, but he cupped your cheek to partially raise it.

“Now, V,” he said evenly, “Can you tell me where you were stabbed?”

“Lower back. Practically my ass.”

After some contorting in the cramped space, Tom snaked his arm around you, feeling around for the spot and pressing down hard once he found it. “Gotta keep pressure on it. The fabric around it feels pretty soaked. Do you feel lightheaded?”

“No. Adrenaline is probably shielding me from immediate pain,” you said, putting your face on his neck, since he insisted on hearing you (Wait, holy shit! Your face is in his neck! How romantic?). “I feel like I’m on the edge of a panic attack. But the dress is fucked; he sliced through it. Bunch it up to stifle the bleeding, if you have to. Fuuuuuck.” You licked your lips, the tip grazing his skin—a happy accident. “I’ve been reliably told that being stabbed is more painful than being shot. Fuck, how far up my back does it go?”

You squirmed to try to reach it, but Tom gripped your hand. “Don’t touch it, V. Just focus on me. You’re gonna be fine. Did you see who did it?”

“I’m not happy about you having to constantly touch me…bitch,” you said, reveling in how his hand basically pressed into the swell of your ass. “No, I didn’t, but the vocoder sounded the same as—God! I’m such an idiot. I should have said something, something about Epiales or some shit, but I clamped up! Goddammit.”

“That’s logical. You were stabbed. It’s fine,” said Tom. He strained to see your face, but you shuffled to hide yourself. He settled for pressing his lips near your hairline (!!!!). “I,” he said, pausing to breathe in slowly, “I can feel your pulse in your wound. Are you okay?”

“Am I okay—”

“Relatively, I mean.”

You shuddered into his neck, gripping both his hand and the lapel of his blazer. “Shut up.”

Tom sighed and kissed your hair, letting his lips linger. “If it makes you feel any better about any of this, you look beautiful tonight. Just—just focus on breathing steadily and staying awake, and let me hold you, all right?”

“Yeah, whatever,” you said, and you tried to change your position slightly, but the lid of the sarcophagus kept you still. “Don’t tell anyone I died because I got stabbed in the ass.”

“You’re not gonna die.”

“Well, last time I checked, I don’t eat fucking ambrosia and nectar, so I’m not fucking immortal, but go off, I guess.”

“An amendment: you’re not gonna die because of this,” he said, “We’ll call Haz—”

“If we had our phones.”

“God—” Tom scrunched up his face. “Damn it.”

The two of you simmered in silence for a while, with Tom eventually resting his other hand high on your back after pushing at the lid some more, and from the way he initially rubbed his fingers together, you were bleeding up there, too. Your heart rate had slowed with the adrenaline wearing off, and a stiff pang spread throughout your back. Honestly, if you tried to take your mind away to distract yourself from the pain, you could fall asleep, what with Tom’s body heat and the no-longer-being-directly-on-a-mummy, and all. You let your eyes close.

Tom cleared his throat. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Your eyes shot open.

“I think you need to be honest about how you feel about me.”

You jerked away from his chest with such force that you railed it into the lid, but you couldn’t focus on that pain. “Do we have to do this now?”

He pressed down on your wound. “Would you like to consider damages we’ll have to pay to the museum instead?”

“Yes!”

With the new space between you, Tom reached out to graze your cheek with the back of his fingers. “C’mon, love. What am I to you?” He slid them to your chin to grip it. “Are you simply using me to get ahead?”

You scoffed. “Where would I go?”

He lowered his hand down your neck, traced your collarbone, and moved it to the nape of your neck to pull you towards him again (you got a face full of whatever Old Spice he’s wearing). “What do you want?”

You, bitch.

But you’re not going to say that.

And also the liberty to be my own person apart from you (maybe one day eventually)? Please?

That, either.

Tom clearly meant to stroke your back, but he couldn’t move his hand much and resigned himself to rubbing the bare skin at the back of your neck. “Come on. Tell the truth for once in your damn life.”

“I wanna see John Mulaney tonight.”

Tom groaned and bent to place his forehead against yours, and he swore under his breath. “Please,” he said, “Please. I’ll do anything for you. Anything. And you know it.” Tom kissed the tip of your nose before moving onto your cheek, keeping it dry and kissing down your face to your jawline; he slid his knee between your thighs, and with his hand stifling your blood, he guided you to grind gently against him.

I want all this to be over.

Frozen, you held your breath (both from Tom and from mummy), your fingers spread wide and you trembled. Lightning surged up your spine from your stab wound, concentrating in your neck. You gasped.

Tom was misinterpreting it; he was tipping your head to the side to make his way to just below your ear—he traced his tongue around the shell of your ear.

And if it’s going to end, Tom has to have all of the information.

He bit down when your legs clamped around his upper thigh, and he was warm—no. No, he was burning, and you remained frozen.

Which means letting him in.

“You dumb fuck,” you said, striking his chest once with your fist, “I’m Epiales. I’m the one writing all that shit.”

Tom’s lips halted at their spot on your jaw. “What.”

“It’s me. It’s my website. My work. I’m not on the twitter. I wasn’t lying when I said that was fake,” you said, “but the website and the Times column are mine.”

Tom pulled back from you, but you couldn’t read his expression in the dark. “What?”

Before you could elaborate, you were blinded by the influx of light and stumbled backwards out of the sarcophagus and onto the floor, sucking into through your teeth. Tom had caught himself and stood over you, and he opened his mouth to thank—

“You can’t just fucking shut yourselves in a fucking exhibit because you want to make out.” Glory Pham fumed. “You’re going to fucking ruin my—”

“Ms. Pham,” said Tom, “She’s been stabbed.”

“Get real, you little shit.” Glory gritted her teeth, and she kicked at you with her pointed shoes. “Where in the goddamn hell is it?”

“Holy fuck,” said Tom, swooping to block her foot, “It’s on her back. Can’t you see the bleed—”

“I don’t give a damn about your injury. The diamond, you fucker. Where’s the goddamn diamond?”

“Oh, my God,” you said from the ground, struggling to push yourself up on your elbows. “Oh, my God? Ms. Pham, what’s—”

“It’s missing, and I saw you sneak off by yourself. You’re the hired outsider; you’re the one always miffed with me; I know you have it on you, and I’ll scrape it out of your cunt if I have to—”

“Ms. Pham, holy shit. Why would I stick something sharp and a ten on the Mohs scale up myself when I have access to perfectly mediocre dick?” You pointed up at Tom, hard from—from what he—holy shit, you almost made out with him in a fucking sarcophagus. In a damn coffin.

Tom stepped to your side so that he wouldn’t be directly over you. “Ladies, why don’t you check the security cameras?”

Something pricked Glory at that, and she deflated. Her mouth twitched. “I may have been jumping to conclusions too soon.” She glowered down at you. “Why were you going off by yourself?”

Blood seeped down between your asscheeks. “Ms. Pham, I went to get apple juice from the kitchen near the Kids’ Korner.”

She sneered. “Why would you be going to get—”

“I can’t drink, Ms. Pham, and I got stabbed when I went to get some.”

“I came in as she was stabbed,” said Tom, holding out his hand towards Glory as if she were an untamed animal. Steady. “Her assailant escaped after locking us in the sarcophagus.”

Glory pinched the bridge of her nose and, you assumed, swore loudly in Vietnamese.

“Has it been an hour? Have we opened the hall yet?” You grunted as you stood, accepting Tom’s help (returning his hand to apply pressure to your wound and taking your hand, though his movements were stiff). “We can still salvage this somehow. We can say we had a—”

“Enough,” said Glory, and she waved you off. “No. In. Credible. I have to back out of a year’s worth of work.”

You ran your tongue over your lower lip, staggering a bit. “We don’t have to. I can say something to—”

She shook her head. “No. Get out.”

“Pardon?” you asked in a small voice.

“Leave me alone. I don’t want to hear from you,” said Glory, turning her back on you to walk away. She stopped herself. “If I want to contact you, I will. Don’t expect anything.”

And she was gone.

You barely had time to slump before Tom yanked you along. “C’mon, you fucking snake,” said Tom, jerking your arm forward, “You got any last words?”

You dry-heaved and stumbled over your own feet past Egyptian relics. “Yeah,” you said, “Say hello to your raging erection for me.”

***

compos mentis: of sound mind

***

taglist: @hollandroos @madmadmilk @parkerroos @parsleysbaby @z-ukos @pparkerwrites @lunamyangel @stealth-spiderr @presidentbttrflyfreak @paradoxparker @bi-writes @astronomyparkers @infamous-webhead @laurfangirl424 @softspideys @gryffinpuffs @plethoraofpuppies @laucontrerasv @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven @spiderboytotherescue @cassiopeiaskies

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland/reader #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #mob au #mob!tom holland #mob tom holland #viper au #dash it all

27 notes · View notes