#you guys should ask me for stories about working here cause i've got plenty

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

hi, indian anon here ( I think I used the ⏳️) ig you can say I'm an ex swiftie, but in the sense that I was never exposed to western music until evermore and I listened to it and loved it. I never engaged with the fandom or anything, and didn't even know all these things taylor did, and I thought taylor was a decent person because of the documentary. This was until ofc, the matty healy incident which opened my eyes to her behavior, but idky I felt like I couldn't openly dislike her. Everyone in my school was obsessed with her and if you're a girl, and you hated her, or even disliked her, you were a pick me, and I didn't wanna get hated on more by my classmates (long story there). The last straw for me was prolly when 1989 tv was released (after the mh incident I just called myself a swiftie cuz I liked her earlier work) and I had joined an online swiftie group chat, and the people there were so vile and hateful. I remember saying it's wrong hating on harry styles for cheating on her cuz she did the same, or that Joe alwyn is just a regular dude, and so are all her other exes, except prolly matty and the John Mayor guy for dating a 19 y/o (SHE ALSO DATED MINORS THO??? no one talked about this shit) and I mentioned that she's not god and that she has done bad things, and the gc, which had 50 active members everyday, collectively not only hated on me, but also these people had access to my private insta acc. My face, my friends, my address, they knew it all. It was so scary, and while I have been in plenty of toxic fandoms before (my first death threats were by the hp fandom, which I've left long back), I actually felt threatened. It actually felt like a cult, and it was scary until my insta acc got shut down (idky), and the ppl couldn't find me anymore. The swiftie fandom is weird at best, and potential criminals at worst, because wtf. They don't have any sort of individual thinking, and if someone does, they will find a way to shut it down. Even now, when I interact with a swiftie and taylor Swift comes up, and I say I don't like her, their behavior is just like the ones online. Ik ppl get more confidence to do bad things online cuz of anonymity, but swifties are the same irl, too. They completely believe it is okay to treat ppl terribly, harass and spread disgusting rumors and even doxx a Palestinian woman and give her details to Isreali organization. Like that actually happened. I regret that I didn't leave the fandom sooner because I can't believe I was associated with something like this. Ik celebrities make mistakes, and that fandoms always have one toxic portion, but this is too much.

Sorry for the long rant tho 😅

- ⏳️

sorry it took me a while to respond, there is SO MUCH HAPPENING in this ask. like 3 diff asks rolled into one omfg

1. peer pressured into “continuing” to like taylor swift you are a different kind of victim im so sorry you went through that (and all to prevent you from being bullied…im so sorry)

2. THE SWIFTIE GROUPCHAT: that is horrible and TERRIFYING. all you did was practice critical thinking and you feared for your SAFETY. their reactions are not logical nor rational and speak to how dangerous her fanbase is.

if you feel like you cannot call out your fave for their behavior without your safety being threatened, that is not a fanbase, that is a cult. i think we should actually did a venn diagram of swifties and cults we’d have a perfect circle.

3. SWIFTIES IRL: this is so true about how they behave. ive had friends tell me theyre scared of saying they hate taylor IRL cause of the backlash they’d receive. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. even when BTS was at their peak ppl never felt threatened by the ARMY to that point 😭

you NEED to send more info/links/ss about the doxxed palestinian. i need the #SwiftiesforPalestine to see wtf their mutuals are doing. that is ABHORRENT behavior. that poor woman!

thank you sm for this ask, u are truly one of god’s strongest soldiers cause wtf!!!! is wrong!!!! with swifties!!!!!

(p.s. if you are a repeat anon go ahead and sign off your asks with an emoji so i can keep track! thank you!)

[merrywetherweather]

i would like to make a complete list of all the things that are wrong with my workplace (i’ve worked at bed bath and beyond for about 3 years now), because im mentally prepping myself to quit. i’ve made a resume and i’ve applied to other places and honestly i cannot believe all the bullshit ive had to put up with so far so here goes:

- does not offer time and a half pay on holidays

- does not have paid breaks

- during my first yearly raise they only added $.20

- a 20% employee discount that customers get anyway for either having their coupons or pressing hard enough

- when i was promoted to the front end supervisor position, i only made a dollar more than the cashiers but i now have what my manager describes as “the hardest job in the building” not including his and also describes it as “being set on fire and everyone else is holding water but no one will put me out as i run around and make sure everyone is happy”

- does not hire people to clean the bathrooms and floors regularly

- makes the closing cashiers do it every night instead

- most of the cashiers are women and only the cashiers that close are women so only women have been cleaning the bathrooms

- this is problematic because the dudes will go in and piss right before the women cashiers have to clean and they wont flush like some weird exertion of dominance thing

- the boys club that formed on hard side where they would prey on any new girls that were hired and talked themselves up claiming they could get with them, SOMETIMES WITH DISGUSTINGLY LARGE AGE GAPS

- they also had a rating system in code for when customers walked in where rutabaga meant hot girl and potato meant ugly girl and i still have no fucking clue what artichoke means

- rape jokes made by one of the managers that i tried to ignore or just subtly disapprove of because i have anxiety and i cant directly call out my manager on that shit

- the same manager confessing to me one night after close and making things uncomfortable until i finally decided to quit *this is the final straw

- does not manage its resources well and occasionally runs out of bags and necessities for cleaning the bathrooms LIKE GLOVES

- does not manage people well. breaks are a mess and people that are scheduled to cover other people’s breaks are scheduled for break at the same time

- does not hire/schedule enough cashiers and still expects their front end supervisors to keep the lines down with very few people available to call up to ring

- does not register train everybody (which they are supposed to do before they put them out on the floor)

- back up for ringing is a gamble because they wont come up and sometimes refuse to even tell you if it’s because they’re busy with a customer EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE A WALKIE

- employee A who comes up to the front and tells me how to run everything and when im tasked to do something immediately listens in and jumps in to do that task before i even get a chance to just so she can complain that she does everything and everybody else isnt doing anything

- employee B who is not my boss sometimes comments on my attire when i wear a skirt even though i wear them with leggings (which is perfectly in line with the dress code) and i am much more professionally dressed  than her

- male employee C who asked me to damage out an item for him. i asked if he knew how to damage items (because everybody is supposed to and i would be glad to teach him) and he said he did so i asked why he couldnt do it and he said he was busy straightening up soft side. so i told him i was busy counting the tills, which i am not allowed to leave alone

- floor employees who are called for back up and then leave returns at their registers for my regular cashiers to clean up and cashiers that leave their file folders a fucking mess when i’ve gotta organize it at the end of the night

- coworkers who are not my boss that try to boss me around

- getting told to do things while im already in the act of doing those things

- it is so dusty that i appoint myself as the head dust buster so everybody isnt suffocating and dealing with allergies behind the registers

- the worst customers on the face of the earth, and im not even exaggerating, with the most memorable being: smelly workout lady who i know can afford to shower because she’s always buying fancy exercise equipment, blonde woman with a tall son who always returns shit, coupon man who tries to use expired manufacturer coupons, BARBARA, coupon finaglers, person who came in with a shitty attitude and refuses to be helped, that one lady who had dementia and her friend just let her lock herself in the bathroom stall so i had to slip under and free her from her smelly prison, thieves who try and return shit they pulled off of the floor and think im stupid enough to return it no questions asked (to be fair, i do have some cashiers that would...), the thousands of customers that ask if im in line when im directing traffic, the silly string war customers who never paid for or cleaned up the product they tested out in seasonal, the one lady who returned a pot with a broken glass lid and her chicken dinner was still inside when she brought it in, the people who bring their dogs inside regardless of size (i can see a purse dog but an untrained lab that is lunging at other customers is unbelievable), the people who knock shit off the shelves and walk away, the people who eat shit and leave half eaten merchandise with rappers everywhere, people who get angry at me for exclusions with coupons, people that get angry because i cant use more than one coupon on one item, people who make the “i guess that means its free” joke, the sexist asses that have read my nametag “sam” and have said “dont you like your full name?”, “your parents must have wanted a boy.” and “is that your real name?” knowing full well it is not, customers that have asked me out, people who have probed for my ethnicity, people who’ve gotten mad when we dont carry something in store, the one lady who was contemplating getting a divorce at my register because i offered her our add on and she wistfully sighed and said she used to make a lot of frivolous purchases when she was single but now life isnt fun anymore since she was pressured into marriage cause all her friends were getting married too (WTF @ STRAIGHT PEOPLE???), people who have wished me luck on becoming a teacher just because i said i was majoring in english, and of course, that one grouchy lady who when i was offering cookies because it was the holidays and i had all my available cashiers up ringing told me i was unhelpful and what would be more helpful is if i would open up more lines.

the only highlights from my job were meeting a handful of good people like @aviolentvioletmermaid and the snacks mike from world market would slip me now and again

fuck you bed bath and beyond (also, in case you ever wanted a tumblr, i am in possession of @bedbathandbeyondofficial and i will never let it go. you honestly could not pay me enough and most ironic of all you never have)

[pinkplantmakesstuff]

[Sat opposite me is none other then The Commander himself. We are in my office; surrounded by stacks of notebooks and stationary, this is no battlefield and it's clear The Commander is currently out of his depth.

I will admit I was shocked when he agreed to an interview; the Commander is infamously secretive about his private life and personal affairs, and there are terrible rumours about his foul temper and monstrous appearance. Sat opposite me however, is a young, world-weary man]

Exclusive interview continues under the Read More...

Let's start with some introductory questions, can you introduce yourself?

[There's a pause before he finally speaks, he's surprisingly soft spoken.] My name's Alec. [He looks at me, and I have to prompt him for more] Oh I see. Uh people refer to me as the Commander, but I'm, not really? I don't, well I don't belong to the Pact anymore? But apparently the title stuck. And I just, end up helpin' with stuff still. [He shifts uncomfortably, and I need to know what brought him to my office today, why he's changed his mind before I continue with the more personal questions.]

So, Commander, what's changed? Why an interview now? After refusing to talk to any journalists for so long, what caused this change of heart?

[There's a another long pause.] Well, I mean...a couple of people told me it might be...good for appearances, to you know talk to one of you people, instead of just... lettin' everyone make stuff up about me all the time. [I assume he means the rumours that make up most of his public perception - like the idea his mouth is full of flesh-tearing fangs- which I can now confirm to be false. He may have pointed fangs but they are small, and he seems more interested in gnawing at his own lip.] Oh, uh and you can just call me Alec I guess.

Well thank you for choosing to speak to me Comman-Alec, now lets move onto the more personal stuff; what is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

[This seems to catch him off guard.] That, that is kind of, personal. [He grimaces and draws his arm tightly across his chest. "You said you didn't want people to make stuff up about you anymore, why don't you tell people so they know the real you."] I, well, ok. [He gives a defeated sigh but it seems I've swayed him around for now at least] Uh I'm a guy and I like other men. And, uh, there, might be someone. He's...[Alec mulls over his words for a minute, the "fearsome" fangs nibbling at his own mouth again] well he's like, there's a connection? It's hard to explain. ["You've just disappointed many potential suitors I suspect!" At this he lets out a surprised laugh, as if he can't believe what I said. "Is this potential someone your fearsome companion you've been rumoured to be spotted with? With fangs and horns even greater then your own?" At this he frowns, folding his arm in again.] He's not fearsome he's just, well he's great. [I've clearly struck a nerve so I choose to move on.]

Where and when were you born?

[Another one-armed shrug.] Dunno. Some small place. Don't remember it, don't care. And uh, I'm like, well I think I'm twenty? Something like that I don't know my birthday. I think it's in Winter. [At this it was mine turn to let out an incredulous laugh - which I admit was unprofessional of me. "I knew you seemed young but, only twenty? That's, you've done a lot for someone so young." There's another, lengthier pause.] S'pose so. [He doesn't comment on this further.]

Here's something you should know plenty about! What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

[He narrows his eyes at me, and then tilts his head thoughtfully. For a moment I thought he was going to demonstrate his magical capabilities I've heard so much about but then he simply shakes his head, a if deciding against it.] Magic. People don't like it. ["Yes I've heard the rumours of your powerful necromancy, as well as the tales of you being able to transform-" He cuts me off] I fight with magic. [Again I've struck another nerve, but I don't blame him. The rumour-mill has been particularly unkind to this young man, and it's no secret how many people view darker aspects of magic unfavourably.]

Lastly, for these introduction questions, are you happy?

[We sit there in silence for several minutes, and it seems he has no answer for me. I decide to move on quickly.]

Let's move onto the people in your life! What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Uh, I don't. Well my family is, well she's a baker. We grew up together. And V-my... partner? [He catches himself, clearly trying to protect keep them anonymous.] I don't have any other family I guess. But, I'd do anythin' to keep them safe. [I don't push further but it's clear the Commander's family means as much to him as the next person. Something the rumours have lead people to believe is not the case.]

Have you ever ran away from home?

Yeah. When I was a kid. My friend - the baker. We left together. it was better after that. [Alec doesn't elaborate further to begin with, before realising he's only told me part of it.] From an orphanage I mean - it's the same ol' story about kids losin' family to the Risen then being taken into care when I was a baby. We hated it. We got old enough. We ran away.

You mentioned you have a partner, this mysterious V. Would you consider marriage or having children?

[Alec's demeanour almost doesn't change, but I've not spend years in journalism and not learnt how to read people. This question has clearly flustered the young commander.] Uhh, that's, kind of personal. I don't think about stuff like that? I, well it's just nice having someone around more now. [I was about to move on before he interrupts.] But, kids are good, if, I think I'd have liked too, if things had been different.

Let's talk about some juicy gossip! Do you secretly hate one of your friend?

What? [This clearly catches him off-guard, before letting out a bitter laugh.] No. I haven't got enough of those to secretly hate one of 'em. Plenty of people have made it clear how much they hate me though. I wouldn't be surprised if more of them secretly hated me too. [Another short pause, he shifts in his seat and I catch a peek at the small wings sticking out oh his back.] I'm too tired to hate any of them, especially secretly.

I see, so which friend knows everything about you?

[Almost subconsciously he touches his horns, they are short, stubby things.] I don't think, I have- maybe the two I mentioned earlier know the most. It's hard to talk about things. ["Hmm I'd picked up on that." At this he laughs, the minor tension that had started building up eased slightly.] Yeah I'm not great at words and stuff.

The next set of questions are asked my fans! Are you literate? Have you been to school?

Fans? [He shakes his head in disbelief before leaning back in his chair, hair obscuring his face slightly.] The orphanage wasn't much for teachin'. Next question. [I resist the urge to press further.]

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

[He seems to spend some time thinking this one over before shaking his head.] Dunno. I guess I just assume most of the people I meet won't stick around long enough to be friends and...well I guess in a way they don't get to stick around I've....I've lost a lot of people. I guess that counts right? [He laughs slightly at this, but it isn't a happy one. Even the commander, who is oft described as cold is clearly affected by the ongoing tragedies he seeks to help stop.]

What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

I don't think I realised Sylvari could glow for like, ages. [He puts his hand up to his face slightly but he smiles slightly as he speaks, and it's only now I've realised he's without his infamous blind-fold. I mention this but he shrugs it off.] I still 'ave it. I just, don't want to wear it right now.

Do you have mental health or physical issues?

[He waves the stump of his missing arm, bandages still visible. Everyone's already heard about the fight against the fearsome Jungle dragon that cost him his arm, as well as the Marshall of The Pact .] Does this count? [He makes no mention of his mental health so I try to press further.] I'm fine.

What is your current main goal?

[Alec shakes his head, before shrugging again.] I'm not gonna talk about stuff like that, in case it puts people at risk, it's, well it's stuff that needs doing to help people.

Let's move onto something easy! Some choices! Drink or food?

Food. I like cooking. ["Really? The famous Commander, known and feared on the battlefield, enjoys being in a kitchen?" He smiles slightly and nods.] It's just nice y'know. I like making things a lot.

Cats or dogs?

Cats. Their senses are easier to see through and they can fit in smaller places. [Before I can ask what he means he continues.] I would like a pet one too I think.

Early bird or night owl?

I prefer getting up early, it means I have longer in the day to get stuff done.

Optimist or pessimist?

[He frowns again.] Don't know. I don't think things are ever gonna go very well. [He merely shrugs when I point out that he sounds like a pessimist.]

Sassy or sarcastic?

I wouldn't say I'm either to be honest. ["There have been reports from Queen Jenna's courts that you have been known to make the occasional sarcastic, scathing remark."] Well there are also reports I've got a huge dragon tail but that don't make it true either. [I don't point out that dry remark he made.]

You'll be pleased Alec, we are finally finishing up! Finally it's time for some "Have you evers". Lets start with have you ever been caught sneaking out?

Nope. I used to be unnoticeable, though, that's changed a...little. [He gestures to himself in what I am assuming is reference to his small wings and horns] Like I said earlier though, magic.

Broke a bone?

Nope not that either. ["Really? With your work on the field and from the battles I've heard, you've truly never broken a bone?] I guess that's just the one thing I got goin' for me I guess.

Received flowers?

I don't think so? Wait yeah maybe but they are from people I don't really know as thanks which is nice I guess- I give 'em to...my baker friend coz she likes to display them in her shop.

Ghosted someone?

[There's another pause, it seemed he'd been slowly getting used to speaking to me but this one has him quiet again.] Not....intentionally. Keepin' in contact is hard when you're constantly travelling. And writing is... not one of my greatest talents.

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Uhh to be honest I probably wouldn't realise it was a joke sometimes', and if I did and I don't get it then maybe they should have told a better joke. [He shrugs and I can't help but laugh at his honesty]

[There you have it readers, an EXCLUSIVE interview with the feared Commander himself. Nothing like the rumours who describe him as "The Beast", The Commander is just another war-weary fighter trying to do what's right.]

Thank you @the-mystic-dragon for tagging me this was so much fun to write! (Even if it took like, an hour, and I massively changed the format XD) This is written as if it's around mid to late lws3 and before PoF as well as in the au with Vasche! Vasche is @resonatingfern's wonderful character and Alec's "mysterious partner" in this. In terms of tagging, if ya wanna do one go ahead! Though I did change the format quite a bit oops XD

[linkspooky]

Hello. Firstly, I want to tell you that I enjoy reading your metas a lot. Secondly, I've been thinking about reading the MHA manga since I've read so many people comment on Shigaraki and the current arc. I want to start reading but my fear is that I really do not want it to turn out to be another "good guys will somehow always find a way to win, bad guys will always lose and learn the wrongdoings of their actions" type of battle shounen ending. I wanted to have your opinion on it. Thank you.

My opinions on the current arc. Well, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. I’ve gotten a lot of asks on how I think the current arc is going and how I think it’s going to end, so I thought I’d share all my thoughts on this post. So, with serialized media any kind of guess on where the story is going is always a crap shoot, because the authors can just change their mind from week to week. However, in general there are two story telling rules that all stories follow. 

Set up - Introduce a story point, visual, line of dialogue, character trait, or object early on within the script — usually in subtle fashion. 

Payoff -  Have that element return with the reveal that it is actually partial to the events to come later on in the story.

The concept of setups and payoffs stem from foreshadowing, a literary device in which a writer gives an advance hint of what is to come later in the story. Set up and payoff are important ideas even in stories where there isn’t a huge twist at the end, because it makes for effective storytelling. The best stories are concise and conservative with details, that means everything that has screentime should matter or contribute to the whole in some way. All the little details paint a picture. All of this is leading up for me to say if the author spends time setting something up, then usually  it should be equally paid off later. 

So, I can’t perfectly predict what is going to happen going into this arc. However, I can comment on what has been set up so far, what has been paid off, and what has yet to be paid off. Thoughts on this arc, underneath the cut. 

1. Hawks and Twice. 

I’m going to go through this one example quickly because it’s the best example of “tight storytelling” so far in this arc. Remember this isn’t an opinion piece so I’m not going to say how I feel about Twice’s Death, I’m just pointing out how it was led up to in the story. First, we followed Hawks’ character through most of the prelude arc leading up to this arc. 

Hawks being a double agent has always been a two-faced character. That is, Hawks is kind of set up with contradictory qualities about him, as if he was two different people. Remember All Might’s words there are two general types of heroes, heroes who save, and heroes who defeat villains. Hawks is somebody who is introduced as both at the same time. The reason a lot of people read the possibility of Hawks sympathizing with the league and betraying the hero commission for the league is because that possibility was set up. BOTH possibilities were. As I said, Hawks is set up deliberately this way almost as if there are two different Hawks. Just like there were two different directions his character could have gone. 

Hawks’ first action is to call out the hero system, and even point out that Endeavor is a hero who has low public approval effectively calling him out. However, later he contradicts himself as he turns out to have been a fan of Endeavor all along.

These two ideas oppose each other. Hawks is a hero who is focused on saving others, and yet he believse Endeavor’s way of being a hero trying to be the strongest is the right way to do things and has always supported Endeavor. When a character holds contradictory beliefs like this they usually need to resolved, instead of trying to hold onto both believes the character will choose one or the other. In other words, Hawks was set up to choose what kind of hero he wants to be a hero who saves, or a hero who wins. 

Hawks has been set up as using his feathers to save people that he’s trained to always know when someone is crying for help. However, we also witness a moment of using his feathers as a weapon to kill Best Jeanist, and saying that his resolve shouldn’t be taken lightly. Which means, Hawks has been set up as both someone incredibly selfless in his desire to save others, and yet at the same time one of the few heroes willing to blatantly kill for his ideals. 

Finally, the chance for empathy is set up with Hawks. Hawks is shown to be someone who is very contradictory, he admires Endeavor and yet when he talks about how the hero system makes him feel trapped he sees Endeavor’s back. He wants to be a hero who saves people, but he thinks the only way to accomplish his goals is to be strong like Endeavor. Effectively, when faced with Twice he’s forced to choose between them, save someone who needs help, or defeat a villain.

Hawks is even shown to be wavering between his choice, because as I said these are two contradictory choices. He can’t have both at once. In the end however, Hawks chooses to become a hero like endeavor. To both kill his own feelings, and kill Twice. Taking down villains, is more important to him than saving the victims of the system that Hawks knows are victims. 

Twice and Dabi’s questions are directly born from this conflict afterwards. Who are the heroes saving? How can they be called Heroes if they deliberately ignore the people who are in most need of their help? The syste, on a whole is punitive, when the focus is on punishing evil then even good guys like Twice can get swept up in it, and killed callously. 

Who is it that really needs to be saved? Wasn’t Twice a person that needed to be saved too? The arc leads us to ask those questions by setting up those ideas of the two different kind of heroes Hawks could have been, developing him as both, and then paying it off by showing the consequences when he chooses to act like Endeavor and kill a victim.

2. Heroes who don’t act like Heroes, Villains who don’t choose to be Villains

There are two more ideas consistently set up in the prelude to this arc. One is the attention drawn to the flawed actions of the hero commission, as well as the idea that Endeavor himself is a false light unworthy of the title of number one hero. 

Once again, two contradictory ideas brought up with Endeavor. He gets to be the number one hero, in spite of what he did to his family which is downright crimminal. Just like there are Two Hawks, there are Two Endeavors. This is setting up a choice between the two because characters usually don’t get to choose both. 

This idea comes up again and again with Endeavor, Endeavor the hero who is well respected, and Endeavor the person whose actions are thoroughly unheroic, his short tempered nature, his violent actions, which even extends to his own family. This is brought up again and again. Shoto says Endeavor the hero is someone admirable, but he’s failed as both a person and a father to the point where they almost feel like two different people to him. 

There’s plenty of foreshadowing, that the hope and promise that Endeavor showed people in the Pro Hero Arc is all eventually going to be undone. That Endeavor taking position as the number one hero is going to invite destruction. 

Endeavor has been set up with two sides. The heroic endeavor and the violent Endeavor. Ending even said that Endeavor is the hero he thinks is most likely to just straight up murder someone. 

At the same time in vigilantes we see Endeavor’s eagerness to kill not only a teenager, but also another vigilante who committed the crime of... getting in his way. 

So the idea has been set up that Endeavor’s violent personality is a flaw, that not only affects his work causing him to want to hurt innocent people (like Koichi who committed the crime of... getting in the way) but also even led him to hurt his own family. And in this arc guess what... we witness... Endeavor’s extreme violence again. We get, Endeavor just straight up trying to kill Shigaraki. 

As I said, a character flaw set up this thoroughly should have consequence in story. Both the idea that Endeavor is a false light, and that Endeavor’s violence is extreme even amongst other heroes are both ideas that should be paid off within this arc. We have one more idea set up. The idea that Toya is dead, that it might have been Endeavor’s fault was all set up in the lead-in to this arc. 

Toya is named and brought up as dead in the arc, and also we’re told Natsuo blames Endeavor for what happened to him. This is the best possible way to confront Endeavor with the fact that his violence isn’t heroic, that it hurts people, even innocent people. I know Dabi did reveal his name already and it got blacked out, but there’s two more important details. 

One, Dabi made sure ot bring Skeptic. The Technology master. Along for the ride when Shigaraki asked Gigantomachia to gather his allies and bring them to him. Two, Dabi and the league hint that they have a plan outside of the PLF’s organization and action plan. Which may be the reason why Dabi dragged Skeptic along. You know, the tech master, with all the cameras. The one that could make a huge announcement to the public on what Endeavor has done. That his actions are what created the villain Dabi by abusing his own son.

So not only do we have the set up that the reveal might happen, but also that Endeavor hasn’t faced the consequences of his actions as a violent abuser. Endeavor accuses Shigaraki of just wanting to destroy things for no reason. 

Shigaraki tries to explain that it was the system who created him. He even brings up his father. However, Endeavor is unable to see his connection to all of this.

If you want Endeavor to have a character arc, then Endeavor should be punished for not growing here in this front. Not only for failing to see how heroes create villains, but also failing to understand what his own violence as caused. Endeavor is given the opportunity to sympathize and listen to others for once, and once again he just chooses violence, and even violently trying to kill Shigaraki which we are told by Ending a real hero would never do. 

Which is why what makes sense as the appropriate consequence to all of this is the reveal of Endeavor’s abuse, and who Dabi really is happening right in the middle of this fight, and also being broadcast on live television by Skeptic’s technology. That’s what should happen. Gigantomachia should reach Shigaraki with the league in tow, otherwise why bring along Skeptic in the first place if he’s not going to do anything? 

3. Think of the Children 

There are a couple of other ideas that can affect the flow of this final fight that have been set up in advance. I’m going to do my best to explain them. First to give an example, there are two ideas that were set up about Deku’s character.

First, while Deku unlocking Float right when he needs it to defeat Shigaraki is EXTREMELY CONVENIENT, at the same time Float being Nana’s quirk, and that it was the next quirk he was going to unlock was an idea that was set up in advance. All the ideas set up so far have been paid off in the same arc. 

Deku’s habit of harming himself has been set up as well. Even in this chapter alone, people tell Deku to run away from the danger, and he recklessly runs towards it. 

However, Deku’s response is he doesn’t care if he breaks, or even if he dies as long as he defeats Shigaraki. He even deliberately keeps fighting even with a broken arm.He uses his left arm for the attack against Shigaraki even though he says his whole arm is wrecked. 

So like I said. If Deku is confronted with a character flaw and doesn’t learn from it here. If he is hurting himself again, in a chapter where Bakugo deliberately points out that Deku’s bad habit is hurting himself, then he probably shouldn’t get the victory here. He shouldn’t be rewarded for bad behavior. When the kid steals from the cookie jar after you told him not to, you don’t give him one more cookie. 

Also, the whole idea of including the kids in combat in the first place is an idea that has been set up to have consequences. Hawks’ entire character revolves around the fact he was taken into the commission as a child.

The hero commission has been shown to require all the kids now to take internships, so they can use the current generation of students as soldiers in the battlefield.

The hero commissions idea to use children in this way, without parent permission or even notifying the adults is something that should have consequences in the story, especially since our attention keeps getting drawn to it.

Especially Bakugo, Todoroki and Midoriya, all their loved ones have been shown to be completely oblivious. So, tight storytelling means that all the decisions in the story should have consequences. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to just bring the UA kids to the raid without consequences. The hero commission shouldn’t be REWARDED for this. If the kids win the fight for the adults, that’s basically a reward. 

The question is will Gigantomachia reach Shigaraki, and will the sedative even work if it hasn’t worked by now? Now, like I said, the commission shouldn’t be rewarded for their choices. The choice to deliberately put the kids in danger of the giant monster shouldn’t pay off with the plan working, and Gigantomachia falling asleep before he ever gets to Shigaraki.

Here is what I think might happen, because Horikoshi always ends up making things way easier for the heroes than they should be. Horikoshi will just sometimes chicken out on proper consequences, like how he couldn’t bring himself to erase Aizawa’s quirk even though all of that was clearly set up like three arcs in advance. Once again, writers can just change their mind with serailized media. I think Gigantomachia will make it to Shigarki, and THEN fall asleep once he’s delivered the league. One, because as I said everything set up this arc has been paid off so far within this arc. So that means Toya should become important to Endeavor, which means Dabi has to get there. Two, for the sake of stakes it’s a much more even fight if it’s Shigaraki and the league versus the combined efforts of the heroes, instead of Gigantomachia showing up and just tanking everybody. 

The second piece is that there is still more set up that hasn’t been delivered. One, there should be consequences for Twice’s death. Shigaraki does not know yet, and Himiko has been shown to grow especially unstable as a result of Twice dying in front of her.

Toga’s reaction to Twice’s death. Twice’s death itself. Those things should have developed consequences in the story before the arc ends. Including Shigaraki himself who has yet to learn about it. If the League is speeding towards Shigaraki, then they should be carrying this news to him otherwise once again Twice’s death is wasted. We have to see Himiko and Toga react to Twice’s death in a way that is meaningful and has cosnequences to the plot otherwise what was the point of killing him off in the first place, other than it was sad. Stories have to be concise, everything that happens in a story should have clear consequences, and implciations that further develop the story. Otherwise, stories are just a bunch of things happening, that are unconnected. 

Now, as I’ve been saying this entire arc. Heroes should take the L. 

Knowing HK, that’s probably not going to happen. The story would end if the villains got everything they wanted and a total victory this arc. 

However, the heroes haven’t really earned the ending narratively at all that they win against Shigaraki at the last moment, prevail, and Shigaraki and the major members of the league all go to jail. Twice’s death isn’t something that should go to waste, or earn them the victory, especially since it was framed as so narratively wrong. The decision to bring kids along shouldn’t earn the heroes the victory when it was framed as so narratively wrong.

If the league is asking literally all of these questions. And the heroes don’t have a proper response to any of them, or haven’t developed enough to be able to answer those questions than they shouldn’t be rewarded. 

So I think instead of being a decisive battle to finish the war, this battle is going to end unresolved like how all of the questions the villains have asked the heroes is completely unresolved. Endeavor will lose and fail to put down Shigaraki, but Shigaraki will also get away with the rest of the league possibly to recover since his body isn’t finished yet and he doesn’t have the strength to carry out his plan. It will be the opening battle of a war, leaving the heroes to deal with both the consequences of the public reveals (Touya reveals, Endeavor’s failure) and also the fact that heroes are now fighting

Either way the fight really shouldn’t end with this arc because none of the questions brought up by this arc have been answered at all. Which means most likely both sides are going to live at the end of this arc, both heroes and villains, to deal with the consequences of what happened this arc. That’s the best ending possible right now because it leaves room for development on both sides.

Shigaraki, Toga, and Dabi all have ongoing arcs same as the heroes and if they were imprisoned now those arcs would stop, so they at least should get away to develop further after the loss of Twice, and show the changes they’ve had after this battle. Hawks living makes sense now that he has to live with the consequences of his decision to kill Twice and everything after that. 

[houseisekai]

House Isekai: A Realm Reborn - Part 3, Thunder Rolls (2 of 2)

House Isekai ARR Masterlist Here

—

Client: Marianne Von Edmund

With Marianne's help, the new House Isekai split off into teams to find this mysterious object and take it down before it becomes too dangerous...

[Tactics - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]

Marianne handed Sitri a paper with all the findings her scouts have reported.

(Marianne) "I hope this will be of use to you all."

(Sitri) "It will, thank you, Marianne."

Marianne nodded and smiled.

(Marianne) "Please be careful, I would not like to see any of you come to harm."

(Kazuma) "Eh, don't worry, the kids'll be fine with us!"

Marianne raised an eyebrow, although her smile was still kept.

(Marianne) "With Rean and the others, I can believe that."

(Kazuma) "Hey, who was the group that saved your guys asses plenty of times back then? Mine, that's who!"

(Rean) "Aaaand, don't forget who bailed you out for a lot of those situations."

(Aigis) "It was us."

Kazuma continued to cause a commotion, letting the other groups spectate.

(Jean) "They all seem rather close."

(Lisa) "Reminds you a bit of home, doesn't it?"

Lisa smirked as she turned to Kaeya and Diluc.

Diluc rolled his eyes while Kaeya shrugged.

(Kurt) "I trust Instructor Rean and Towa's guidance, but I am unsure about the other two."

(Juna) "Well, that Aigis lady seems nice enough though, now that I think on it, what CAN those two do?"

(Ash) "Noticed Kazuma has a dagger and a short sword on his belt, but for Aigis...can't tell."

(Altina) "It appears she is like me."

(Juna) "Wait, as in not human?"

Musse turned to the Garreg Mach students.

(Musse) "What do you guys think?"

(Astrid) "Eh? Well, I dunno. I've only heard stories, never seen them in action."

(Helena) "Gets kinda hard to tell what's true."

(Stefan) "I guess today's our lucky day!"

(Elizabeth) "Hmph, if you call having to deal with otherworldy monstrosities lucky!"

(Helena) "Harsh. These people aren't that ugly."

(Elizabeth) "What in the-That is not what I meant and you know it!"

(Kairos) "..."

(Astrid) ? "Kairos? Somethin' up?"

(Kairos) "Huh? Oh, I am fine. It's nothing."

Kairos looked back down, a bit dejected.

(Stefan) "The things Lady Marianne and Sitri say getting you down?"

Kairos raised his voice to object but sighed instead.

(Kairos) "I just cannot believe I let my immaturity get the best of me there. These people are the reason we're here right now, but I cannot shake off how I feel that easily."

(Elizabeth) "I...would be lying if I said I did not feel the same."

Venti and Amber didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it was hard not to considering how loudly they were announcing their feelings to the entire group.

(Venti) "If that's the case, why not get to know us then?"

(Elizabeth and Kairos) "Huh?"

(Amber) "Yeah, this mission looks to be tough, so if we all work together, I'm sure we'll be friends in no time!"

(Kurt) "I would not be opposed to it. Well, considering that we also have no alternatives present as well.'

Meanwhile, the Instructors finally finished their conversation.

(Marianne) "I wish you luck, House Isekai."

(Rean) "Thanks, Marianne. We'll be back as soon as we can."

Marianne bowed and went inside back to her estate, leaving the Instructors to walk back to their groups.

(Towa) "So, what's the plan?"

(Sitri) "I...Hm."

She stopped walking to take a moment to think.

(Sitri) "I think it'd be best if we were to all search together. We have no idea what we'd be up against."

The tone of her voice made it sound like it was more of a suggestion than a command.

(Sothis) "Looks like the group has another one."

(Diluc) "Miss Sitri, was it? If we could speak our mind."

(Sitri) "Huh? O-Oh, Go ahead."

Kazuma leaned over to Rean.

(Kazuma) "She doesn't exactly sound confident for a headmaster."

(Rean) "Being fair, she was just a nun from what we were told by Jeralt."

(Aigis) "Affirmative, she also was very weak and could not leave Garreg Mach often."

(Towa) "...S-So, if that's the case, how is she walking around out here carrying her sword no problem?"

The four stared at her while Diluc was explaining the group's plan.

(Rean) "Lahabrea did mention she was chosen to be resurrected for a reason...Did we ever find out why?"

They were silent.

(Kazuma) "Tch, even dead Those Who Slither are a pain in our ass. We never get straight answers from them"

(Aigis) "Well, that wasn't Those Who Slither, that was Byle-...Er, Lahabrea who did the resurrection himself."

(Towa) "Regardless, I think we should ask this ourselves another time."

(Diluc) "...And so, we think splitting up is the best way to approach this threat."

(Sitri) "Well..."

(Jean) "You have our word that nothing will befall any of your students."

(Kurt) "And mine as well."

(Helena) "To be fair, this would be a good way to know how we all fight considering this is our first assignment together."

(Sitri) "Fair enough...Very well, we shall split into teams.

(Rean) "I think it'd be best to mix and match teams."

(Aigis) "Agreed. Based off initial data, I will configure the teams as follows:

First Team will consist of: Rean, Sitri, Helena, Stefan, Kaeya, Amber, Altina, and Ash.

Second team will consist of: Myself, Kazuma, Astrid, Diluc, Jean, Venti, Kurt, and Juna.

Third team will consist of: Towa, Kairos, Elizabeth, Lisa, and Musse."

(Jean) "No objections from me."

(Ash) "Sounds fine."

(Musse) "Aww, I wanted one with Rean-"

(Rean) "You'll be fine under Towa's command. Besides, she was your homeroom teacher anyway."

(Lisa) "Ouch, shot down."

(Musse) "Doesn't mean I'm giving up!~"

(Lisa) "Oh, I like your attitude, love is such a powerful thing..."

(Towa) "Uh...."

(Elizabeth) "I had some slight objections being put in a group with you, Kairos, but now? I think I am glad to have at least someone familiar..."

(Kairos) "Ugh, the feeling's mutual."

(Rean) "Right then. We'll split up and meet at this point in the map if we don't find anything."

(Kazuma) "How are we gonna keep in contact if shit goes down?"

(Aigis) "Rean and Towa have their Arcus Units, and I believe the students of Garreg Mach have something similar."

(Stefan) "Yes, we were all given a communication crystal upon our entry for Sitri's group."

All the students of Garreg Mach pulled out a small flat crystal that faintly glowed blue.

(Kaeya) "We have our methods then. It's probably best we stop wasting time and get moving."

(Sitri) "Agreed. Everyone, remember to be safe. This may be only our first assignment, but do not underestimate the danger. Your lives could be thrown away if you're careless enough."

Everyone nodded and split up.

(Towa) "Alright, looks like we'll head to the site where it was first spotted. This way everyone."

Towa's group walked down a path deeper into the forest and slowly disappeared from sight of everyone else...

...

===

Doomguy's Base, Present...

Doomguy tapped his foot while listening to the Persona Users give their explanation of what was happening.

Apparently, Ryuji, Ann, Mitsuru, and Naoto fought off a group of hulking green creatures calling themselves "Orks" who came from Fodlan's Crystal Tower.

(Yu) "And that's about the gist of it."

(Yosuke) "Yeah, we weren't close enough to the scene and the news gets everything wrong anyway.."

(Futaba) "Even with my hacking I can't get a full picture, it happened so fast."

(Akihiko) "You still got any idea what's going on in Fodlan right now?"

Doomguy shook his head, and shrugged to the air, indicating for VEGA to speak for him.

(VEGA) "Unfortunately, no. There is too much interference for us to make contact with those currently in. That being the case, they are working to rectify this communication block, hopefully soon."

(Junpei) "So what, we're supposed to twiddle our thumbs and just wait?"

(Yukari) "And what exactly can we do, Stupei? If all of us just jump in guns blazing, who knows how long we'd be trapped, and how Fodlan would react!"

(Makoto) "Our entry and exit wasn't the most graceful after all..."

(Akira) "I have faith in everyone over there. It'll be up to us to keep our home safe."

(Chie) "Hey, who else has responded anyway? Seems not too many of us were able to make it in there."

(VEGA) "You are correct. The only ones to answer the call are yourselves, Rean, Elliot, Laura, Fie, Towa, and Kazuma."

(Morgana) "Anyone else?"

(VEGA) "The Denizens of Nazarick appear to be busy handling their world's politics, but they have acknowledged our call and plan to send whoever is available. The same goes for the remaining members of Class VII."

(Teddie) "Oh, how about Yuki-chan and the others?"

(Fuuka) "The School-Living Club?"

(VEGA) "I'm afraid nothing has been sent our way. Not even an acknowledgement."

(Rise) "I hope they're alright. Their world didn't exactly sound forgiving..."

(Kanji) "It's prolly' best they weren't here anyway. Not sure they'd be much help...Er, wait that sounds bad!"

(VEGA) "Negative. You are objectively correct, in terms of combat at least. Megumi and the School-Living Club were the least active members when it came to fights. Their efforts were focused on helping fleeing civilians and moral support. Neither of which we are sure is needed for Fodlan's current circumstances."

(Ken) "I'm sure everyone's fine. We should be worried less about how they are and more on how the Crystal Tower came to our world to begin with."

(VEGA) "We are currently looking into that as we speak. Please feel free to rest here until then."

The Persona users nodded and tried their best to relax, not knowing what the future would bring...

===

[Stilness of Night - Trails of Cold Steel 3 OST]

A few hours later...

Towa's group kept investigating the points of which the scouts had written on the reports, but they had found nothing.

No trace of any warning shots Marianne mentioned, its like they had completely erased the evidence.

The sun was starting to set, but thankfully it was still bright enough for them to keep looking untroubled.

Lisa was close by with Towa, looking with her and Musse while Kairos and Elizabeth investigated somewhere close by.

(Towa) "Hm...still nothing."

(Musse) "Instructor Towa?"

(Towa) "What is it, Musse?"

(Musse) "If I can ask, why is it that the people of this world hold such hostility against you?"

(Lisa) "I have been rather curious myself. It seems every opportunity those two in particular talk bad about your old group."

Towa looked up and made sure Kairos and Elizabeth was far away enough for her to continue.

(Towa) "Truth be told, our group was a mess. We kept coming in out of nowhere, and forming this massive superpower that threw a wrench into all the world leader's plans for...whatever they were going to do. World Domination? Separation? I have no idea."

Towa's eyes looked down as her expression darkened.

(Towa) "We lost a lot of friends during that war too, they gave their lives for a world they didn't know. But this place is home to us, just as much as it is to them..."

Musse and Lisa looked at each other but didn't say anything else.

Towa was doing her best to keep those memories out of her head. She had to keep a clear mind for this assignment.

Though, being told that their group was the reason a civil war was on the brink again, it didn't sit well in her stomach.

Towa's mind ached, thinking the possibility of losing even more friends to this world, which she was struggling to keep out.

Lisa walked towards Towa, kneeling down and rubbing her head.

(Lisa) "There there...I'm sure they'd understand if you told them. No need to fret."

Towa shot back up, a slight tinge of red as she put her hands on her hat.

(Towa) "ACK!"

(Lisa) "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle."

(Towa) "N-No you're fine, Miss Lisa! I'm just usually used to Rean doing that...Which, now that I say out loud, is kinda weird..."

(Musse) "Hmph, lucky."

(Lisa) "Is it weird? I was under the impression you were a couple with the way you acted."

(Musse) "I'm sure she'd like that!"

Lisa and Musse's smirks were flustering Towa.

(Towa) "T-That's not relevant, Musse! And Miss Lisa, we are NOT a couple!"

(Lisa) "So, you're available then?"

(Towa) "BWUH-WHAT?!"

Lisa failed to hold back a chuckle.

(Lisa) "Relax cutie, I'm just joking...Mostly."

(Towa) "Ugh, please just focus back on the task at hand!"

She began mumbling to herself.

(Towa) "You think I'd be used to this considering how much time I've spent with Angie and Crow..."

Lisa crossed her arms as she turned back to finding any signs of a fight.

(Musse) "...Thanks for doing that, Miss Lisa. I never liked seeing Instructor Towa get that down on herself."

(Lisa) "Figured no one does, from what I've gathered. By the way, have you found anything?"

(Musse) "Not particularly. Though that being said-"

Musse began speaking with Lisa who crouched down next to her, pointing at the trees in front of them.

(Kairos) "This question is only now appearing in my head, how exactly do they fight?"

(Elizabeth) "Now that you point it out, the only real weapon I see is on Musse's back. It appears to be some sort of...staff?"

They stared at the rifle that was strapped onto her, not sure what its function was.

(Kairos) "That makes sense, though it's shaped quite oddly. What's the point of that...lever, I think?"

Squinting at the triggerhair on Musse's rifle, he shook his head and turned to Lisa.

(Kairos) "And her. Everyone else from her group has a visible weapon, but she doesn't. All I see is a book."

(Elizabeth) "She could be a spellcaster, though what kind of magic user dresses like that?"

(Kairos) "Of course you judge them based on clothes."

(Elizabeth) "Oh stuff it! As if you're one to talk to ME about biases!"

Kairos and Elizabeth stood up, glaring daggers at each other.

(Kairos) "Hey, I was talking about their weapons!"

(Elizabeth) "And I'm talking about your little outburst earlier! Do you know how much you embarrassed all of us by-"

The went back and forth a little bit, Musse and Lisa pausing their conversation to listen.

(Musse) "How noisy."

(Lisa) "Well, we didn't find anything over here anyway, we might as well put a pause to it."

Towa watched them head towards Elizabeth and Kairos, and decided to watch what would happen instead of interfering. She knew Musse was a lot smarter than she looked, and Lisa seemed to be the same way.

(Towa) "So this is how Instructor Sara felt."

(Musse) "Is there a problem?"

(Elizabeth) "O-Oh, my apologies! No there isn't any problem."

(Kairos) "If you don't count her mouth as one."

(Elizabeth) "Silence yourself, or so goddess help me, I will silence yours!"

(Lisa) "My my, so feisty! You'll ruin those cute faces if you keep frowning so much."

That snapped Elizabeth and Kairos out of their spat and took them aback.

(Kairos) "C-Cute?"

(Elizabeth) "Feisty?!"

(Musse) "It seems no matter the world, people have the same reactions to these things..."

(Lisa) "It would appear so. It's nice having someone who understands, though."

Lisa and Musse smiled, making Kairos and Elizabeth feel slightly uncomfortable.

(Musse) "But back on topic, did you happen to find anything?"

(Kairos) "No, not really."

The two looked back down to the ground they were examining prior.

It was two trees that had snapped and fell to the ground, but there was no magical energy or weapon marks to indicate it had fell down by unnatural causes.

They were looking at the point where the tree snapped and fell over, hoping to find anything but-

(Elizabeth) "Kairos and I are well versed in magic, but we were unable to find anything that we could detect."

(Musse) "Hm...from what I see, there's nothing there either."

Lisa furrowed her brows as she gently pushed everyone to the side, taking a look herself.

(Kairos) "Miss Lisa?"

(Lisa) "...Instructor."

(Towa) "Huh? What is it?"

(Lisa) "I believe I found something."

(Elizabeth) "Truly?"

Towa walked over to the group and looked at the trees as well.

(Lisa) "I understand why no one has reported anything. This was caused by something from our group's world."

Everyone stood on edge.

(Lisa) "Our world has something we call 'Visions', powers granted to us by the Archons and allows us to attune ourselves to the elements and channel them into our will. Diluc and Amber have Pyro visions, letting them control fire. Kaeya has Cryo, Ice, Venti and Jean have Anemo, Wind. I, have Electro. Electricity."

Lisa rubbed her finger against the tree and looked at her finger.

(Lisa) "And on my hands is a very faint remnants of an Electro attack."

She stood up, grabbing her book.

(Lisa) "A very recent one."

Musse and Towa unsheathed their guns while Kairos and Elizabeth quickly looked around.

(Lisa) "I'm presuming you two cuties also wield magic?"

(Kairos) "Y-Yes. I'm proficient in dark magic skills."

(Elizabeth) "I am most skilled with white magic, but I am able to channel dark as well."

(Lisa) "Good. Because I think I know where our target is at."

Kairos and Elizabeth felt the hairs on their arms raise. The darkness of the forest started to glow with an eerie purple in the distance.

Towa got behind them and pulled out an ARCUS unit, calling Rean.

(Towa) "Rean, I think we found it! I'm sending our coordinates-"

A bolt of lightning shot down and almost hit her, making her scream and almost drop her unit.

(Towa) "AAH!"

(Rean's voice) "Towa?! Towa are you-"

BZZZZZRRRRT!

(Musse) "Target straight ahead!"

The cube slowly floated over to them, shooting out bolts of electricity in random directions.

(Musse) "I believe that first one was the warning shot the scouts were talking about."

(Kairos) "What the hell is that thing?!"

(Lisa) "Hmph. Nothing too dangerous, but still, don't let your guards down. We call it an Electro Hypostasis."

The shapes of the cubes floating around the core slowly shifted around, seemingly ready to change shapes at any time.

(Lisa) "It shapes itself into whatever it wants to attack, so be prepared for anything."

(Elizabeth) "You've fought these abominations before?!"

From Elizabeth's view, Lisa looked more annoyed than anything facing this...thing.

(Lisa) "A few times. They're normally docile until you approach, which makes Marianne's reports a lot more sense considering what's been harassing them."

The Cube seemingly stared at all of them, waiting to see if they would back off.

(Lisa) "I'm afraid my Electro vision isn't going to be as helpful as I'd like, but I won't let that stop me."

She flipped open her book, which began levitating in front of her.

The text in the book began to glow a dark purple as she turned to the group.

(Lisa) "But, I digress. The command is up to you, Instructor Towa."

(Towa) "If we let it go, it could be days before we can find it again, we don't let it slip away!"

Towa loaded her pistol and pointed at the Electro Hypostasis.

(Towa) "Engage the enemy!"

(Musse) "Understood, Instructor!"

(Elizabeth & Kairos) "Yes Ma'am!"

(Lisa) "Got it."

[Twice Stricken - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers OST]

Musse backed up and pointed her rifle at the Hypostasis, taking the first shot.

The bullet predictably reflected off, and the four cubes flew into the air and into a rhombus shape, all aiming at the team.

Electric missiles shot out of the Hypostasis at speeds equivalent to Musse's and Towa's gun.

Lisa snapped her fingers and a electricity field formed around them, misdirecting the attacks and hitting in random directions.

Kairos and Elizabeth ran to the front, Kairos casting a fireball while Elizabeth had ice spikes form underneath it.

The first fireball caused a small explosion, blowing back some of the trees and scorching the grass while the ice spikes shot into the air and at the core of the Hypostasis, stopping the fire before it spread and piercing the core.

It made no noise of pain, though they could tell they were doing some damage to it.

The cubes quickly flew away from the spikes and towards them.

Towa fired her pistol, all aiming at a singular point the spike had pierced into.

Small bits of electricity chipped off, tho it began flying faster and dodged whatever was shot at it.

Lisa's spells were having no effect on the Hypostasis as it landed behind them.

(Lisa) "Get behind something!"

Musse and Towa dove for cover as more missiles shot out of it, Lisa standing behind a tree to hide from it.

Elizabeth did the same as well, but noticed Kairos wasn't moving.

Kairos stood out in the open still and tried to fire another fireball, but it quickly moved to the side, dodging the fireball as it hit the tree behind the Hypostasis instead.

The Hypostasis aimed at Kairos and shot a singular missile, too fast for him to dodge in time and hit him in the chest and sending him flying back into the tree.

He clenched his teeth in pain as the electricity rattled and sent a painful shock throughout his entire body.

(Elizabeth) "Kairos, you bloody idiot!"

She quickly grabbed his arm and dragged him behind cover before another barrage of missiles hit her.

(Elizabeth) "Why didn't you get into cover?!"

(Kairos) "Ach, thought I could hit it again!"

(Lisa) "It's not sentient enough to think creatively, but it's not stupid enough to fall for that again!"

Her brow furrowed further even more, knowing her spells would do nothing to it.

Musse poked her head out and pulled out her ARCUS unit, letting it analyze the Hypostasis.

(Musse) "Miss Lisa, your advice?"

(Lisa) "Keep hitting it with any elemental attack that isn't Electro-Er, thunder!"

(Musse) "Understood, taking the shot! Kairos, Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth stood out of the way of Musse's barrel as her rifle began glowing a hot red.

Pulling the trigger, a single shot hit the core, making it stagger back and form back into it's cube state.

As miniature cubes shot towards them from the excess electricity, Lisa stepped out to the open and shielded them from the bolts on the ground shooting out.

Towa rushed over to Kairos and loaded another round into her pistol, shooting it into the air.

Kairos suddenly felt the pain in his body slowly fade away and looked to Towa.

(Kairos) "Thank y-"

(Towa) "Do that later, right now they need your help!"

(Musse) "Instructor, get down!"

Towa and Kairos saw the three of them dive out the way.

Instinctually, Kairos grabbed Towa's shoulders and shoved her down to the floor as laser beams shot out and spun across the forest, it spinning rapidly as it vaporized the leaves into smoke.

The trees were getting burnt, but thankfully not chipped enough to topple over, Kairos saw.

Once it was done, Kairos rolled into the open and got on knee, adjusting his glasses as he raised his hand and clenched it.

From the skies above the Hypostasis, a burning rock crashed itself on the Hypostasis, knocking the cubes that formed the laser into pieces as the core stood out in the open.

(Lisa) "It's exposed, attack now!"

Elizabeth stood next to Kairos and swiped her hands downwards, the air forming a sword-like shape and slicing through the core, making it slightly shatter and pieces fall off.

Musse's rifle glowed white as it fired a straight line of ice, going through the core.

Towa did the same as her pistol began to glow several colors, red, then white, then red again.

Lisa made sure to keep an eye on any of the excess electricity in the air, flicking her wrist and deflecting a bolt of lightning without looking at it.

It quickly formed back into shape, and stood for a moment as the shots reflected off it.

(Elizabeth) "What is it doing now?!"

The cubes broke off into smaller ones, forming a giant arrow-shape and-

(Lisa) "To the sides, now!"

Lisa jumped back as the Hypostasis formed into a drill-like shape and began spinning towards them, tearing apart any trees that was in its way.

Towa and Musse ran to the sides while Kairos and Elizabeth ducked as it barreled past them.

The trees it knocked over were falling down left and right, Musse almost getting hit by one.

(Towa) "ABOVE YOU!"

Elizabeth looked up and realized a tree was falling on top of her.

Lisa raised her book and a concentrated spell shot out, the strength of it rushing it forward as it collided into more trees and away from everyone.

When Lisa turned her attention back to the Hypostasis, she realized it had formed two giant walls.

Lisa's eyes widened as she tried to brace herself for the shock, the walls closing on her and the force sending her into a tree.

Lisa's body tumbled onto the floor and out in the open, her vision going in and out from the attack.

(Kairos) "Lisa!"

The Hypostasis began to form it's drill shape again while Kairos and Elizabeth rushed to Lisa's defense, shooting whatever spell they could as it began flying to them.

Musse and Towa tried to help with their guns, but they were having no effect.

As it got closer, Kairos tried to pick up Lisa to move her, joined by Elizabeth as it got dangerously close to tearing through them.

Although there were no trees nearby for it to be a hazard, they still couldn't move fast enough with Lisa in hand to get out of the way safely.

(Familliar boy's voice) "COMING THROUGH KIDS!"

Kairos and Elizabeth were tackled by Kazuma while Aigis got in front of Lisa.

(Aigis) "ATHENA!"

Her Persona appeared in front of the drill, the shield failing to be pierced as Athena raised its hand, and knocked it to the side, toppling trees as it bounced through the ground.

Aigis spun around and gave Lisa a hand, which she grabbed it and was helped up.

Kazuma got up and dusted himself off.

(Elizabeth) "Instructor?"

(Kazuma) "Yeah yeah, you're welcome, now get your asses up, that cube thing will be doing the same!"

Kazuma unsheathed his sword, letting Elizabeth and Kairos get up on their own.

As the Hypostasis was getting up and about to change forms, before the core was shelled off, Jean and Venti jumped from the top of the trees and used their Anemo Visions.

Jean first blew it into the air while Venti summoned a mini tornado, picking up the core and shredding it with the speeds of the wind.

Diluc ignited his sword as he slammed it down into the tornado, setting the wind ablaze with the core still inside.

Kurt and Juna jumped in as the core hit the floor, Kurt's sword dicing it to pieces while Juna used the force of her tonfas to dent it, making electricity shoot out with each strike.

It quickly got itself up with the cubes forming once more, this time shifting into a giant fist.

It swung first into Kurt and Juna, sending them flying back into Towa and Musse.

Then it shapeshifted into a pair of scissors, making the Vision users duck under cover as it almost cut them into two.

It finally formed a giant rectangle, slamming down in front of them and sending them into the air.

As the core revealed itself while the three landed on their feet, Astrid and Kazuma swung their weapons into it, Astrid piercing through it while Kazuma slashed it in half with his sword.

Aigis, Musse, Towa, Elizabeth, and Kairos readied their guns and spells, all opening fire together while Astrid and Kazuma dodged out the way.

The final bullet went through it, the core now full of holes, it began to twitch violently as it split into pieces.

It split into three prisms as the core remained invisible in the center.

(Lisa) "Destroy those prisms!"

Juna switched her tonfas into a gunner mode and pulled the trigger, shooting one prism to tiny pieces.

Aigis's Persona smashed another prism into the floor, completely eradicating any trace of it.

Diluc's flaming sword shot out a bird-like shape, turning the prism into cinders as he made a wide swing.

With the last of the prisms gone, the core began to twitch violently as the group formed together.

Lisa got in front of everyone and held out her hands, casting another field to block out the electricity that exploded into a bright purple, the skies turning from white to a dark gray, then the clouds finally disappearing.

[Words to Believe In - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]

Towa's team tried to catch their breath.

(Musse) "Whew, that was close..."

(Towa) "Now I'm reminded why Rean's the combat instructor..."

(Lisa) "Nonsense, you did just fine-...Ugh!"

Lisa fell to one knee, Diluc catching her in time.

(Diluc) "Hey, are you alright?"

(Jean) "You took a bad hit from the looks of it."

Jean looked at her back and saw a bleeding wound, as well from her head.

(Elizabeth) "Miss Lisa, I'm so sorry! If you didn't have to take your at-"

Lisa waved her hand in a dismissive manner, smiling through the pain now the adrenaline was wearing off.

(Lisa) "Don't apologize, cutie. Ol' Lisa will be just fine."

Jean and Diluc slowly helped her up while Venti turned to them.

(Venti) "Honestly, not bad for your first time fighting it!"

(Musse) "Thank you. Without Lisa, I'm not sure what would have happened."

(Kairos) "Yes, we owe much of our victory today to her-"

(Kazuma) "Yadda yadda, stop being so humble. Just accept the compliment and move on. Besides, far as Fodlan kids fighting the unknown go, you two ain't half bad."

(Aigis) "Indeed. We were only able to see snippets of the fight, but despite your differences you came to work together rather well."

(Elizabeth) "Why...T-Thank you Instructors."

(Astrid) "Wow, no love for you Instructor Towa."

(Towa) "Oh come on now, don't make this a competition!"

The group began to back and forth, Astrid moving to Elizabeth and Kairos.

(Astrid) "So, what's your impression of 'em? Kazuma and Venti just argued a lot the entire time. Was pretty funny though."

(Elizabeth) "They're not as uncivilized as I was expecting to be honest."

(Kairos) "Psh, who's judging on character now?"

(Elizabeth) "Shut. Up. Already."

(Astrid) "And now I get to hear you guys argue. Ugh, great."

(Musse) "...Huh, where's Instructor Rean and the others?"

(Everyone) "..."

Towa pulled out her ARCUS unit again.

(Towa) "Rean?"

...

Everyone stiffened when they didn't hear a response.

(Towa) "Rean?!"

===

Rean, Sitri, Helena, Stefan, Kaeya, Amber, Altina, and Ash.

Rean was looking for any signs of an attack before hearing his ARCUS unit go off.

(Towa's Voice) "Rean, I think we found it! I'm sending our coordinates-AAH!"

(Rean) "Towa?! Towa are you-"

BZZZZZRRRRT!

(Sitri) "Did something happen?!"

(Rean) "Yeah, Towa's team found it! She sent us the coordinates so we need to-AAAGH!"

Rean fell to one knee, reaching for his head.

(Altina) "Instructor?!"

(Ash) "The hell's going-DAGH! SHIT!"

Ash stopped moving and reached for his head as well, followed by Altina, then the rest of the group one by one, their heads pounding as their vision suddenly faded to white.

…

…

[Out of Time - Final Fantasy XIV OST]

The inside of the room was glowing a faint blue-white, two green haired individuals walking through them, though one was significantly taller than the other.

(Flayn) "Father, are you sure this is the way?"

Seteth's face scrunched up as he stared at one of the crystals in his hand. The directions it was pointing to was hazy at best.

(Seteth) "No...No Flayn, I am not sure. But we have to try something at least."

Flayn looked behind her, worried.

(Flayn) "Of course..."

They stopped themselves to what appeared to be a massive doorway. Seteth held the stone up to it and the door slowly began to open, light pouring out from the other side.

The two were about to take a step through the door before a shot of electricity bolted over their heads.

Seteth quickly raised the crystal up, and it glowed a bright blue before whatever was shooting at them disappeared.

Inside the crystal was a dark purple fog before it quickly disappeared with a white flash.

(Flayn) "What was that?!"

(Seteth) "Something we weren't looking for. Perhaps the deeper we go into the tower, we'll be able to find it."

Saying nothing else, they looked around as moving platforms shifted around them.

Seteth and Flayn stepped onto them as everything turned into a static mess, slowly fading out of view...

…

[Spiderweb - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]

(Towa's voice) "Rean?"

...

(Towa's voice) "Rean?!"

Rean hazily reached for his ARCUS unit, responding to a very concerned Towa.

(Rean) "Agh, we're here!...I think."

Everyone looked at each other, the headache slowly subsiding.

(Kaeya) "What in the world was that?"

(Amber) "Ugh, my head!"

(Altina) "Is...is that supposed to happen naturally?"

(Helena) "Unless we're in extreme stress situations where our physical bodies are pushed to the limit, no."

(Stefan) "And considering we just started our assignment."

Sitri began speaking in her head.

(Sitri) Sothis...?

(Sothis) "Agh, don't worry, I felt it too...Though, wasn't that?-"

(Sitri) Seteth and Flayn...

(Sothis) "Doubt anyone else would know what they saw besides you and Rean."

(Sitri) What were they doing in the Tower, I thought we cleared it by now!

(Sothis) "I have no idea, but we have to tell this to the other instructors."

(Rean) "...And that was the end of that...vision? Or something. I'm still not sure."

(Towa's Voice) "...Understood. Let's meet back up at Marianne's and tell her that we finished the job."

(Rean) "Roger that. And Towa? Good work."

(Towa's voice) "Heh, um...thank you."

Rean hung up the call and motioned for everyone to follow, everyone still out of it from whatever it was they saw.

Later...

(Aigis) "A vision?"

(Kazuma) "Holy shit, Seteth and Flayn are alive?!"

(Sitri) "Possibly? I'm not sure..."

(Rean) "It's still blurry in my head, and I'm sure the others agree."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

(Towa) "We should investigate once we get back, but..."

[Where the Heart is - Final Fantasy XIV OST]

(Towa) "I'm glad we were able to help out, Marianne!"

(Marianne) "Thank you so much for your assistance. As always, you're always rescuing us from dangers."

Marianne smiled and bowed.

(Rean) "Of course. If there's any other troubles, please call upon us to help if you need it."

(Sitri) "Thank you for your kindness."

(Marianne) "And as requested, we have the railroads to take you back to Garreg Mach. It should be a day's trip.

(Juna) "Man, it just feels like went to a different country instead of a world with how familiar it is..."

(Amber) "What's a railroad?"

(Musse) "Oh, you see it's-..."

Class VII and the Knights began engaging in a friendly banter, which gave Kazuma to groan.

(Kazuma) "A train?! Why the hell are we taking a train when we can teleport?!"

Sothis appeared for a brief moment when she made sure no one was looking in their direction.

(Sothis) "We'll explain it later, but for now just shut up and deal with it."

Rean and Towa laughed while Aigis had a smirk.

Kazuma was ready to cuss out Sothis before the students approached them.

(Kairos) "Instructors? I...would like to apologize for my earlier outburst-"

(Rean) "Don't sweat it."

(Kairos) "Huh?"

(Towa) "To be fair, it IS a little strange for a bunch of people to pop out of portals like this and boss you around. But that being said, we are your instructors for a reason!"

(Kazuma) "Some respect goes a long way, kid!"

(Astrid) "You look as old as we do..."

(Kazuma) "And YOU shutting up can go a long way!"

Aigis slapped the back of his head and nodded.

(Aigis) "Apologies for him. Although he is right to some degree. We are happy to be your instructors, no matter what we have done in the past."

(Stefan) "I look forward to your guidance, Instructors!"

(Elizabeth) "As do I. I will make the Blue Lions proud for having me as their chosen!"

(Helena) "Hear that Astrid? You shutting up means they'll like you more."

Astrid gently punched Helena in the shoulder, Helena's expression being deadpan from the delivery to the literal punchline.

(Astrid) "Same goes for you, smartass."

Marianne approached the Garreg Mach students and looked at Kairos.

(Marianne) "You've grown up so much despite the fact it's only been a few years. I hope in the future we can have a moment to talk, so we can catch up!"

(Kairos) "A-As do I Lady- Er, I mean...Marianne."

Marianne's smile made him unable to look at her in the eye and she turned to Sitri.

(Marianne) "It's right this way. Follow me everyone."

And in a few moments, the members of House Isekai stepped onto a train that took them to Garreg Mach, Marianne waving goodbye to everyone...

...

...

...

BING, BING BING BING, BONG!

[Life at Garreg Mach Monastery - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]

Today's instructions were done for the day, the doors being opened as students and guards went from position to position.

A good number of students went to their dorms while many others went into the mess hall.

Guards piloted massive Knight mechs out of the hangar and towards the Gates, practicing military drills and simply standing guard for any potential threats.

Kairos, Elizabeth, Astrid, Helena, and Stefan walked out their respective classrooms and towards the Hangar.

(Helena) "Last day of hanging with the Golden Deer...Can't say I'll miss them too much."

(Astrid) "I will a little, I was FINALLY getting used to the schedule!"

Kairos shrugged.

(Kairos) "It's not like we'll never see them again. We're still attending the same Academy."

(Stefan) "I'm a bit sad I can't hang out with my friends as much, but I guess that's the nature of an Officer's academy."

(Elizabeth) "Well think of it this way, we now have a new opportunity to go down in history!...Even though our instructors are those offworlders."

(Helena) "I still can't tell, do you like them or not?"

The banter went back and forth a few more times as they moved to the hangar.

The Imperial soldier in front nodded to them and let them pass.

(Stefan) "Oh, Kairos."

(Kairos) "Hm?"

(Stefan) "Your data from the fight with that...cube thing is recorded on your crystal right?"

(Kairos) "Yeah. What about it?"

(Stefan) "You should send that to the rest of us, so we can see everyone's fighting style."

(Helena) "Oh yeah, we didn't get to fight during that."

(Kairos) "Sure, one second."

Kairos took out his communication crystal and let it connect with Astrid, Stefan, and Helena's.

Stefan nodded and smiled.

(Stefan) "Thanks, I'm pretty excited to see what they can do!"

(Elizabeth) "Soon enough, we'll get to know how they are-"

(Recette's voice) "Yoohoo, over here!"

The five stopped once they saw Recette waving over to them excitedly.

(Tear) "Welcome. Your quarters are now finished."

(Astrid) "Dam-Er, Dang, it's only been like 3 days, and you're already finished?"

(Recette) "Yup! There's nothing that blood, sweat and heckuva lotta gold can't accomplish!"

(Tear) "The wonders of capitalism."

(Helena) "...Capi-what?"

(Tear) "Nevermind. This way, your instructors are currently in a meeting but everyone else is waiting for you in the room.

The five followed Recette and Tear into their barracks into an elevator, going below the hangar and storage floor...

Garreg Mach's Listening Chamber...

(Sitri) "The other team contacted me and let us know their task is done. They're currently on their way back on the railway and should be back within the hour."

(Towa) "It's crazy to know Slayer sent Elliot, Fie, and Laura to us!"

(Rean) "Duvalie being with them is sure going to make her a lot more irritable."

(Kazuma) "She seems like a bitch."

(Towa) "That's putting it lightly..."

(Aigis) "Regardless, it is good to have reinforcements backing us up."

(Rean) "...Valimar, can you confirm signatures of anyone else present in Fodlan?"

Valimar's voice echoed out of his ARCUS unit.

(Valimar) "...Affirmative. It would appear some of the Persona Users are present as well."

(Aigis) "Really?!"

(Valimar) "Ryuji Sakamoto, Ann Takamaki, Mitsuru Kirijo, and Naoto Shirogane, according to my scans."

(Kazuma) "How come no one else has reported this?"

(Towa) "Yeah, that is pretty weird..."

(Valimar) "I am still scanning, so I am unable to tell where they are. Analysis would take a day or so."

(Rean) "Just keep us updated Valimar."

(Valimar) "Of course. Speaking of which, it seems Duvalie's group is about to arrive."

(Rean) "Let's go ahead and meet them then."

The instructors nodded and left before Sitri's Crystal began beeping.

(Sitri) "Hold on, I have to take this. I'll be with you soon."

The four left Sitri and Sothis alone as Sitri opened it up, revealing a small reflection of Edelgard.

(Sitri) "Edelgard?"

(Edelgard) "Hello, Sitri. With the official reformation of House Isekai, we would like to assign your tasks for this month, as it was done when we were enrolled."

(Sothis) "So...why are you calling just by yourself?"

(Edelgard) "And that is my next point..."

...

As the train approached the station, Stefan saw Rean and the other instructors meet up with the rest of the group.

(Stefan) "...Even more of the offworlders."

He looked to see no one was watching him, and slowly snuck away from the group.

Everyone was distracted meeting Rean's friends to notice Stefan had disappeared into a corner.

Stefan looked at his crystal and saw the recording of Kairos and Elizabeth fighting the...whatever the hell it was.

Though, he was honestly glad no one was hurt.

He tweaked his communication crystal by turning a dial to the left and pressing in a specific combination with the buttons on it.

And with that, a voice popped up on the other side.

(Distorted Voice) "There are you. Goddess, we thought something happened. Status?"

(Stefan) "I'm fine, don't worry. And something did. House Isekai has returned."

(Distorted Voice) "...Say that again, it sounded like you said House Isekai."

(Stefan) "I did say House Isekai. It's the White Cloud Contingency."

(Distorted Voice) "...Keep your eye on them. And be careful. We all saw what happened to the poor bastards who underestimated them seven years ago."

(Stefan) "Understood. And you all be careful as well."

(Distorted Voice) "Godspeed."

Stefan nodded and hung up. He slowly blended back into the crowd and saw Kairos looking in his direction.

(Kairos) "Hey, there you are!"

(Helena) "That armor slowing you down or something?"

(Astrid) "I told you guys to wait up, he was falling behind!"

(Stefan) "Hah, yeah I got lost. This place is huge!"

(Elizabeth) "Goodness gracious, just speak up Stefan! Anyways, what do you think of Instructor Rean's colleagues?"

(Helena) "...I like that grey-haired one."

(Kairos) "Of course you would."

(Astrid) "T-That orange haired guy, and...and that blue haired lady! So hot...!"

(Kairos) "...What?"

(Astrid) "I-I MEAN-"

The four exchanged jabs with each other, Stefan occasionally throwing in lines as well, but he was far more concerned that the old members alongside new people of House Isekai were coming.

[Lost in Paradise - ALI]

(Stefan) "...Hmph."

He breathed in and out to calm himself.

(Stefan) No matter what happens, even with them here, they can't interfere...Fodlan HAS to be free from this rule!

===

PART 3: ENDED

STANDBY PHASE 1...

Gotta get it homie gotta move it If you gonna do it then, push everything to the side Everybody just talk nobody really do it You should keep a secret until you actually do it No need to double check with someone Use your judgement only, break the walls Let’s do flashy fake More Cool, keep it low, prove them wrong I won’t give up the fight in my life ‘Cause my life is living for love I won’t give up the fight in my life Stand off and groove on time Tokyo prison Going to relight your feelings When times get too rough Night and day are fading Going to relight your feelings There’s no time to explain Gimme your love Access to your love Oh yeah Lost in paradise Night and day are fading out When times getting rough Access to your love Lost in paradise Night and day are fading out Keep on dancing now Hеy hey hеy hey heyeah

[kenmasgameboy]

PIPSQUEAK

a kuroo x gangmember!reader

summary;

" you like to cause a bit of trouble, pipsqueak?"

" pipsqueak? seriously?"

Life for you got turned upside down after your first year at Nekoma high. Realizing it was too dangerous, your parents sent you back to live in Miyagi and attend Karasuno with your old friends. Kuroo Tetsuro, the Police Chiefs son, comes into contact with you in the most unexpected way possible, bringing trouble wherever you both go.

—————————-

Prologue.

      High school was never that interesting to you. Though, you'll admit that it was a good way to help the days pass. You always found different games to help.

At first, games to you meant sneaking out of the house, slashing tires, almost getting arrested, going to parties. You had a bad reputation. You had been mixed up with all the wrong people before at your old school. But now you were going to turn your life around. Even if that means that now games to you would mean studying. Kind of.

         The closest you'd probably get to your new life would be getting in trouble for minor things at school. For example, falling asleep in class was a specialty of yours. Truly, an art form. Waking up to that sweet slap of a ruler against your desk was better than any alarm clock you'd ever hear. The rush in your chest, the heat to your cheeks, the sweaty palms. Incredible. But that is it. You promised your mother that this year you would be making her proud at Karasuno. You wouldn't be hanging out with those "thugs" as she liked to call them. You would keep up, maybe pay attention, and maybe make some more real friends.

       The truth was that school never felt like a real challenge to you. Sure there were plenty of difficult subjects that made you feel stupid but you always kept out of the drama, minded your business, and kept your head down. It was fine. There really was a target on your back now that you were the new girl at school though, and you had adjusted week by week meeting new people and reuniting with some old ones, too. But ultimately you decided the social system just wasn't made for you. There wasn't really a good place for you to fit in, or maybe it just wasn't comparing to the kind of family you made before.

      Today was one of those days where your motivation was at its peak, you were taking good notes. Studied for a quiz, been overly diligent. Then that sweet beautiful sound of the lunch bell rang, you pulled out your food, grabbed your skateboard, and left the classroom in a bit of a hurry. As you were leaving you started to hear a conversation:

      Dude, don't worry, I have it completely handled. Watch...

      "(Y/N)!" Narita, your classmate called for you once you exited the room and into the hallway. He stood next to Ennoshita who looked like he would explode any second. You knew Narita, him and Ennoshita were in Class 4 with you and you really didn't have that many real friends at school but you wouldn't mind calling them that. They were some of the friends you were reunited with from middle school, they were a big comfort to you when you transferred in.

      "Hey, how's it going?" You slowly walked over, trying to find your excuse to leave and take a nap without seeming impolite.

      "Great, good. Thanks, yourself?" Narita answered for him and Ennoshita. He also seemed in a hurry for some reason but was much worse at covering it up.

      "Pretty tired, but uh, for the most part—" You started but your sentence didn't last long.

      "You should come to my party! Uh— Our party. We're having a party it would probably wake you up. It's in Tokyo! I mean—" Narita came in strong.

       "Nice, buddy. You really do got this handled." Was all Ennoshita followed it up with, "Gotta go, see you guys in class."

       "A party?" You laughed a little, just because these guys were anything but the partying type. You started walking and Narita was following you like a hawk, "Don't you guys have volleyball practice or something?"

        "Yeah, of course. But not this Friday night! I mean technically we do but we'll be done at 6:30. Party can start at 7:30." Narita followed up, "All the volleyball guys will be there, too. We have a summer training camp in Tokyo starting on Monday so this is kind of the only day we can get everyone together. We already had our friends from Nekoma invite pretty much everyone they knew."

       "N-Nekoma, huh?" Your smile wavered, "That sounds like it'll be really fun for you guys. Thanks for the invite, but I don't really know anyone on your team. Plus, I can't get to Tokyo by 7:30." You said, declining as well as you could without making your answer too suspicious.

       "Well, yeah about that. Um, by 'it's in Tokyo' what I meant to say was Tokyo guys will be there. They're volleyball players, too, actually." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck and adjusting his satchel, trying his best to act cool and lean against the vending machine you were using.

       "So, it's a Volleyball mixer with you guys and a bunch of guys from Tokyo but it's not in Tokyo? Where is it, then?" You asked for the elaboration, kind of liking this dancing way to get to the point.

        "Yes, well and other schools in Miyagi, too. It's a lot of schools, I mean I'm talking Nekoma, Fukorodani, Aoba Johsai, Johzenji, Date Tech, Shiratorizawa.. maybe.. Inarizaki.. and more.. again maybe. But it's at Kinoshita's house. Which is still kinda far, but it has a pool! His family is loaded and they'll all be gone this weekend." Narita finally got to the point.

        "Sounds like it'll be a good time for you guys. I'm happy for you, sounds like you've made a lot of friends from other schools." You cheers'd your milk to him and started walking again to find a place to eat.

        "No, no. Girls will be there, too. It's kinda the whole point."

        "You really have to work on your pitch." You said plainly.

        "Please, I need your help (Y/N). I was put in charge of getting girls to come to this party." Narita begged, you couldn't help but let out a laugh at his desperation. In all your years of knowing him and being in the same classes you had never seen him talk to a single girl who wasn't in a group project or something related to it.

        "Why you?"

        "It was either me or Tanaka."

        "Oh, then definitely you are the better choice." You agreed, having known just from the previous stories he's told you. "Interesting proposition. I'll think about it."

       "You'll think about it and say yes?" He tried, "Every time I talk to a pretty girl I feel like I'm going to throw up, I can't talk to groups of girls and invite them to a party. But you're likable, more well known now since you're the new girl."

       "First of all, rude that I don't make you want to throw up. I'm pretty, sometimes."

       "Fair."

        "How about, I'll say yes if you tell me who it is you have a crush on, which girl you most want at this party then I'll help out." You offered. Narita thought for a minute as you started eating your lunch.

       "Fine." He nodded, "This is my duty to my boys." Then he leaned into your ear and whispered the name of the prettiest and smartest girl in your class: Ichika Yua. Ichika was going to be a tough sell.

       "Alright. A deals a deal. You've given me a secret and I will do what I can do. How many girls do you need, anyway? Are we going for a 1:1 ratio or..?"

       "No, these guys need a much higher chance I think. Let's try a 4:1 ratio."

       "Yeah, actually you're gonna take what you can get."

       "Yes, ma'am."

        "Now give me the rundown on your team. I don't really know any of them and I need to know for my pitches I have to do this week. And don't think because I'm doing some work means that you can slack off okay. I really only know 2nd-year girls, if you want 3rd year or 1st you have to go to them. You need to try too. Also, will there be alcohol?" You listed off your demands and were straight forward. Narita made a slow nod,

        "Oh, I almost forgot. Do you know any girls from Nekoma who could come?" He asked you the dreaded question.

        Yup, you were originally supposed to spend your high school years at Nekoma High School. When you were entering high school your dad got a job offer in Tokyo, forcing you to move out there after middle school. Then after everything happened, your Mom knew it was too risky to let you live out in Tokyo still and she shipped you back here to go to Karasuno and live in a small apartment by yourself. You have family friends who come to check on you and your parents visit when they can. It's not horrible, at least now you get to come back to streets more familiar.

      "Um, I think the girls I knew from Nekoma aren't exactly the girls you want at a party. Besides, you should just ask your volleyball brethren to ask some girls and pull their weight. Or are they too pretty for you to talk to?" You teased Narita and knocked his head.

      "Hey, girls are girls." Narita held his head from where you knocked it.

      "Sure, if thats the case then the next time you see me I better be seeing some chunks."

     You and Narita continued to eat lunch together that day. Until you realized you only had a limited amount of time left and had to use the bathroom before class so you excused yourself. You skated away around the outside of the courtyard with a bun in your mouth and around some of your other classmates, waving.

        "Dude, uh. Who was that?" A guy with an aggressive appearance walked up to Narita, having walked past a few minutes before but stayed just to gawk.

        "Huh? (Y/N)?" Narita clarified, innocently.

        "(Y/N)... wow. What a beautiful name." Tanaka sighed in simp, "Is she our year?"

        "Yeah, man. She's in my class. You never noticed her before? I'm surprised she was the talk of Karasuno guys for like the whole first week of this year." He laughed. "She is technically new to Karasuno this year. But she's from Miyagi, I've known her since grade school."

        "My babe sensor has been reserved for Kiyoko only recently. Trying to be loyal." He humphed, "You guys a thing?"

       "What? No, no." Narita laughed, "No, we've just been friends for a while. She's helping me get girls to come to the party on Friday."

       Tanaka jumped up with optimism, "Yes! This is going to be the best party of our high school lives!"

       "I hope so." Narita rubbed his neck to try and tame his nerves again.

       "(Y/N).." Tanaka sighed again, "You know who's gonna go nuts when they get a look at her, right?"

       "I know."

———————————-

next

Thank you so much for reading!! Please let me know what you think and keep reading!!

[no-goddamn-cilantro]

I got a bug, so I decided to write this ridiculous nonsense.

Adventures in Babysitting

The ship hummed softly as the power-down sequence began, and Rocket was quick to hop out of the pilot's chair and make his way back to the makeshift child seat Gamora insisted he use. Something-something safety, something-something, blah-blah-blah, whatever.* Groot's safety is and always will be number one, but it's insulting that she thinks a glorified bucket with a seat harness is going to do shit. Rolling his eyes to himself, he lifts the "baby carrier" by the handle and disembarks, wincing in the bright sunlight on Peter's home world.

He probably should have told Peter he was going to come, see if the guy had any family to visit. Ah well. Too late now, time to meet his old pal to drop off the kid before getting down to business.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dyn Jarren was, to put it mildly, exhausted. After Sporog, there had been nine other planets, either too hostile or where they were too easily found. Nine.* So he'd decided to... Branch out a bit. Hit the next Galaxy over- he had contacts there, a Mandalorian covert hiding away on the moon of some backwater planet called Terra where the locals had barely managed to intrude on the dead rock, let alone notice the comings and goings of the refugees on their own moon. One of these Terrans had even gained that most precious of commodities years ago, the Mandalorian's trust.

There were three shootouts, a target's gills getting infected with fishrot, and said Terran actually convincing the target to be encased in Carbonite willingly. It was a wild four days, but the man was trustworthy, never having breathed a word of what happened during his "spirituality retreat."

Landing in a tucked away copse of trees near his contact's current location, he hefts The Child into his arms, turning his head to shush him gently.

"None of that. It's faster if I carry you."

Without another word he disembarked down the gangplank and set off at a brisk pace, following the coordinates in his helmet's display.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keanu was sitting in the sunny Northern California early afternoon, dozing off if he were to tell the truth, at the rather larger home than he really needed that had been rented for the next week. He wanted plenty of room for Rocket and his young ward to explore and relax though, so this was his best option. It was secluded, no neighbors for miles, with a dense forest to the back and miles of vineyards in lieu of the missing neighbors.

A coo only a few feet from him caused him to jerk fully awake suddenly, eyes opening to see a man he'd never expected to see again and- was that a child?

Standing, he greeted the unexpected guest from outer space with a pleased smile.

"Mando! Man, wow, it's been like- six years? How are you? And who's this little guy??" As he approached his face broke into a more intimate grin as he made eye contact with the tiny green child, delight lighting up his face as The Child gifted him with another coo.

The Mandalorian, for his part, gives a neutral hum that borders on pleased. "This is The Child. We're currently hiding from parties that want him dead- or worse. I was hoping we could lay low here for a while- is that alright with you?"

Keanu, for his part, is astounded at that story, but the only question that passes through his lips is, "Mando, have you not... Named your kid?"

Despite being able to see exactly none of the Mandalorian's face, he can practically feel* the other man's blush. "... It hasn't been important so far."

"Mando!"

"Keanu." Unexpected, deadpan snark from his friend, but he rolls with it. Abruptly, he remembers his manners and invites them hurriedly, offering food and beverages. Dyn declines both for himself, but soup for The Child if he has it. Keanu does and quickly begins heating some on the stove. While that's working, he tries to figure out how to tell the bounty hunter about his other, expected visitor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As it turns out, the Mandalorian wasn't terribly fussed about his having other guests, so long as they didn't try to harm either the man or the* child, though the Terran man was subjected to a hard stare he couldn't see but could definitely feel when he mentioned his other guests were "a little unusual-looking."

Rocket, true to form, didn't bother with knocking, though Keanu was openly relieved he used a door at all for entering the abode. The bipedal raccoon, on the other hand, was distinctly and obviously uncomfortable. With a blatantly false smile across his snout and speaking through his teeth, Rocket jerks his head a few times back towards the living room from the doorway of the kitchen where he'd abruptly halted.

"Hey, Neo, need to talk to you real quick. In here. Away from the bounty hunter."

The implacable stare of the helmet followed them out of the room and until they turned the corner, Rocket leading his friend halfway up the stairs leading to the bedrooms. Before Keanu can speak, Rocket is standing- somehow- on the railing and gripping the collar of his jacket, pulling him close to mutter threateningly in his face. "I don't know what that guy has told you, but I don't have any more bounties on my head. I went straight, we all went straight, we're doing good now. I won't let some Mandalorian asshole with out of date information skin me for credits, you got it?"

"I'm not here on a bounty."

Both man and raccoon in the stairwell jump, looking down at the Mandalorian standing with crossed arms. He continues, unperturbed by the blatant hostility of the raccoon that scampers down the stairs to stand eye to... Well, hip, until he takes advantage of the banister again. "I'm just laying low for a while. Needed a place to hide. Keanu mentioned you were coming." At the last sentence Rocket glares back at the man, before Mando dryly adds, "We were unexpected. You weren't."

Keanu decides that he needs a strong mug of tea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So once helmet-head and his little goblin child are settled in the dining area, Rocket goes to collect Groot and his- bucket, no, carrier- from where he'd left him napping in the sun. He is completely unsurprised that his own little monster child has managed to escape the prison of the child seat and is frolicking in the yard after a butterfly or some shit. Rocket allows himself the barest moment of tender enjoyment of watching Groot just be happy, before he knuckles up and shouts across the open lawn.

"Hey Groot, come meet your babysitter! I don't got all day, hurry it up!" The tree person- is he a shrub right now? He's small enough to be a shrub- comes scampering across the yard, stopping in front of Rocket, crossing his arms, and indignantly huffing.

"I am Groot."

"Yes, you do. I can't leave you on the ship by yourself for a couple of days."

"I am Groot!"

"Because I'm the adult and you're not right now."

"I am Groot?"

"Keanu. Don't give me that look, that's his real name."

"I am Groot."

"Look who's talkin'! You think either of us have room to be critical of someone else's name?"

"... I am Groot..."

"That's what I thought. Now c'mon, he's waiting inside and he made you food, so be grateful."

He takes his ward's hand, leading him inside. More to himself than anything, he mutters, "But Keanu is a weird fuckin' name..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The second meeting with the children present goes much smoother than the first. They sit and share a meal- with the exception of Dyn Jarren, who answers endless questions about Mandalorians, his helmet, his weapons, and anything else Rocket can think of to annoy him with, with a remarkable amount of patience- if not without more of the snark Keanu witnessed earlier. The fathers then send their children to play, with stern warnings about not leaving the yard that are, the Terran is sure, going to be completely ignored. He has to grip Mando's sleeve to get him to sit and stay after some noises of play begin and the man slightly panics.

Rocket, for his part, decides to refuse to be this much of a worrywart over Groot upon observing the bounty hunter's near-palpable anxiety over his foundling.

Keanu decides to get into the practicalities of the next few days, asking what each child likes to eat, when they're supposed to sleep, and what discipline they're used to, ready to take notes.

Both Mandalorian and raccoon stare at him blankly after the first question. He tries again, starting with what he thought was the easiest question.

"what time do they generally go to sleep?"

"Uhhh, Groot just sorta passes out when he's tired. Usually about... 9ish? I guess?"

"Does he nap during the day?"

"How'm I supposed to know, I'm workin'! He just sleeps when he's tired."

"Mando?"

The bounty hunter's shoulders drop slightly in what might be classed as defeat. "He sleeps all the time in about two hour chunks, then he's up for about five." When the Terran blinks at him in what looks a lot like confusion, he sighs. "I've tried getting him to sleep longer, but unless he ends up using his abilities, it's just not happening."

Keanu nods in what appears to be deliberate lack of judgement, making notes on either side of his page. Rocket snatches the paper almost as soon as he's done with his bedtime notes, barking a laugh at the name given for The Child.

"Mando Jr.? Really, bounty hunter? You couldn't come up with anything better?"

"... I didn't come up with it."

"So what's his real name?"

"... It's not important. That'll do for now."

And so the conversation went, discipline being a similarly baffling subject for both of them. When it came to food though, they found surprising common ground.

""Frogs.""

Keanu made a continue gesture after they both looked at each other in surprise, before Rocket jocularly punched Dyn on the shoulder. Dyn, for his part, just seemed exhausted. Keanu could relate.

"Soup. Small bits of meat... Mushrooms. Insects if he can catch them."

"Groot'll eat anything, kid's a trash compactor. We done here?"

Keanu is more than happy to finish out the conversation there, releasing them to go check in on their kids before headed out. Sometime in the last few hours, Rocket had decided a Mandalorian was pretty good backup for what he was doing and asked if Dyn would like to come along. The bounty hunter had sighed heavily before nodding his agreement.

Which brought them back around to the sitter conversation that now had Keanu reaching for the tea kettle again.

It was going to be a long three days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keanu, for his part, was pleased to discover Groot had no problems retreating to his and Rocket's room at 9pm for bed. The Yiddling, as was the name that seemed to stick for the sitter, was another story.

He whined, he grizzled, he even squealed a time or two. The Terran just kept calmly holding the kid and bouncing gently, singing half-remembered lullabies to the child as it slowly, eventually, tired itself out. Keanu very gently lowered the child into the crib he'd acquired from the bounty hunter's ship before they left, taking the three steps back to his bed to collapse backwards into the sheets and blissfully drop off after hours of soothing a fussy toddler who could move things with his mind.

For two hours. Then the crying began again.

It was a long night for everybody, and the sitter was more than happy to go start the coffee pot just as the first fingers of sunlight began to creep over the treetops behind the house. By the time he had breakfast prepared for the two children under his care, the kitchen was bathed in golden morning sunlight. The two ate well, then his little tree-like charge turned to him with a stubborn tilt to his head.

"I am Groot."

"A nature walk? Why?"

"I am Groot!"

"I somehow really doubt the forests of Earth are your ancestral home."

"I am Groot!"

"... You know what, an excellent point. You two can find all the frogs you like and I won't have to attempt to catch any for you. We'll go in a little bit, okay? I need to pack you both lunches in case we're out for a while, and I need to put together that thing."

"That thing" was, in fact, a jogging stroller for doubles. A quick overnight delivery after the arrival of not one, but two children in his care necessitated it, and it had arrived promptly at 8am. He cleaned up after his little charges, helped them both wash their hands in the sink, and then sent them to play for a while as he carefully read the instructions for assembly.

One hour, two bandages, and a hurried, "don't repeat that!" tossed in a nosey Groot's direction after some overheard profanity, and the babysitter had the stroller ready. He packed two quick lunches based on the Yiddling's preferences- as his was the more specified, and Groot really would eat anything, including the plate- and got them all out the door, a bag of essentials that he resolutely would not call a diaper bag tucked into the very-convenient compartment beneath the seats of the stroller and took them down the path that had a trail head right there in the backyard. Keanu decided Groot really did have an excellent idea with this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later Keanu was smugly pleased with both the nature walk and the double stroller. Both kids were passed out asleep in their stroller seats, snoring gently with the remains of their lunches clasped gently in sticky fingers- twigs? Claws? Fingers was just easier for Keanu's exhausted but triumphant brain- and resting lightly in their laps. He was now taking a leisurely stroll back to the house, enjoying the peace as much as communing with nature.

And so that's how the three spent the next several sleep-deprived days. Breakfast, stroller, wander through nature (one extremely disturbing frog-hunting hour around a pond that he's never mentioning to another living soul except for maybe their parents) lunch and afternoon naps, playing tag and other such games in the yard, dinner, and then a fraught bedtime with the little Yiddling.

When their parents returned, Rocket was nearly bowled over by an excited Groot, being squeezed happily by suddenly very long toddler tree arms. The Mandalorian was passed The Child by a tired but very happy Keanu, who reported to both parents that they were good kids and behaved. Mando was surprised in equal measure by both the Yiddling- he was keeping that name for him, thank-you Keanu- falling asleep in his arms immediately, and the sitter in question's flabbergasted stare that soon melted into a soft, gentle smile.

As they each departed for their ships after what was decidedly a warmer and noisier splash than The Mandalorian had wanted to make on this planet, they were both secretly pleased at just how comfortable their children had been with the Terran, and at how well they'd been able to work together.

Perhaps they'd have to do this again sometime.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Hey Janis: you alright? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: Obviously stressing over what to wear for community service 😱😱 Janis: nah, just the standard bullshit though, nothing unexpected or that I can't handle Jimmy: that's a good shout, I heard there's gonna be a dickhead there with a 📷 and nowt to do cos he's too 😎🚬 to do what he's told Janis: Oh God, sounds like the worst Janis: 👍 for the warning, mate Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Go on then, answer for an answer Jimmy: what are you asking? Janis: I've already asked, are you alright? Jimmy: I ain't 😭 over picking up litter, clean tables every day, me Janis: 'course Janis: 💕 it so much you wanna do it for free, right Jimmy: The CG's wage ain't nowt to write up north about Jimmy: 💔💰🎻 Janis: I'm glad you've not got a family back home you're tryna support with coffee beans Janis: might make me almost feel bad, and I can't give my family the satisfaction so fuck you, like Jimmy: that you know of Jimmy: could have a 👶 in every mine Jimmy: fit as well as mysterious, like Janis: No one is fit enough they need to reproduce on an already overpopulated planet Janis: not even you, new boy 🤷 Jimmy: never said they were wanted 👶 Jimmy: in that part of the country, who isn't an unloved bastard Jimmy: 🗬🖋 Janis: obviously Janis: in this country we had to go to yours to really do fuck all about it for 50 odd years Janis: and who wants to go to Liverpool, honestly 🤢 Janis: least if you drag it up might contribute to your funds eventually Jimmy: You don't wanna go dig up that one band they're a bit famous for then? Jimmy: proper pissed on my #datenight plans that Janis: had enough ✌ & 💕 to last a lifetime, soz Janis: photoshop me in Jimmy: but have you had enough 👻🥊? Jimmy: think on, dickhead Janis: plenty 'round here for that Janis: though too many memebers of my family are still unfortunately living so Jimmy: UGH you NEVER wanna do the things I WANNA DO!! 😣😣 Janis: 😏 fine, jump bail with me and smuggle aboard the next ferry Janis: if you're gonna be a nag, like Jimmy: now you're 🗨 Jimmy: won't have to swap you for Asia for a bit Janis: Get her to guess the band, that'd be insightful Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Get her to do your community service, might get hit by a car or kidnapped by the twat driving long as he's got 🍬 Janis: Your attempt to get to spend more time with her is blatant Janis: 💔 she didn't show to your party, Gatsby? Jimmy: I'm just so 😍😍😍😍 soz mate Jimmy: and yeah tah for the salt in my wounds Janis: Poor boy Janis: 'least her boyfriend didn't shoot you, swings and roundabouts Jimmy: why you saying that like it's a good thing? Jimmy: born ready to ⚰ Janis: he'd not shoot me Janis: 😇 that I am Janis: wouldn't be fair Jimmy: he'd probably miss, any road Jimmy: leave me with a scar that does nowt but make me more fit and more mysterious Janis: 🙄 see, a good thing Janis: no one needs that, least of all you, so shy and retiring really, yeah Jimmy: ✔ Janis: don't you leave me on read, dickead Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't send you a postcard when I get to where I'm really going Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: but gonna be I'm #living for the picture on the front Janis: Wish you were here has never been faker Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Wonder who grassed Jimmy: 💰 on 💀👑 Janis: Not a bet I'd take on 'cos probably Jimmy: that or your 🤵💍 wasn't as into 💔 as he reckoned he would be Jimmy: soz sir Janis: married to the job Janis: shoulda known Janis: not his school, like Jimmy: not like I fucked you on his desk, he got off way easier than he were 🗬🤤 Janis: All talk Janis: like all lads Jimmy: Oi Janis: Would you like me to tell you you're different Janis: you don't say much so it isn't untrue, on that count Jimmy: you've only got the one job, rich girl, do you seriously need me to tell you how to do it? Janis: I shouldn't put community service on my LinkedIn? 🤔 Janis: damn Jimmy: gutting I know Jimmy: you'll look proper fit in the jumpsuit an' all, all that possible promo just pissed up the wall Janis: shut up Janis: shit, I didn't ask Janis: what is gonna happen with your actual job? Janis: could you make the hours work without needing to let on to them or what Jimmy: it'll get out Jimmy: more 💰 on 💀👑 Janis: Time how long it takes her to be in your inbox with the 🖤mail Janis: make you her personal bitchboy for life Janis: ugh Jimmy: I'll just tell 'em, either they'll want me to do my shifts round it or they won't Janis: yeah Janis: sorry Jimmy: for what? Janis: if you get sacked Jimmy: dickheads need lattes all over town Janis: true Janis: shame if you don't even get a reference out of the experience though Jimmy: not sure I want one from a knobhead who's never there and reckons my name's Jamie though Janis: still devastated Janis: but not about me, being supportive Jimmy: he could be my fall guy, weren't me it were all him, shady twat Jimmy: never even set foot in a school, me Janis: Get your coworker to alibi Jimmy: he'd obvs only do it if you asked him Jimmy: like owt else Janis: don't do yourself down, babe Janis: he specifically said you seem like 'a chill guy' Jimmy: I were dragging you down if I were doing owt, babe Jimmy: but alright Janis: yeah well you've called me a slag before Janis: not news Jimmy: Have I? Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: always keep it #goals Janis: yeah, you weren't being very 'chill' either Janis: but he don't have to know Jimmy: #whenshekeepsyoursecrets Janis: every battered wife knows the drill Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 🤞 lad Janis: wouldn't worry, 🐷 do fuck all 'cept protect one of their own Janis: #ladsladslads Jimmy: @ my other co-workers Jimmy: been busted lads Janis: brothers in brews Janis: such a strong bond Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: making me emotional tbh Jimmy: 👮🚔💕 Janis: gotta beat real siblings, like Jimmy: speaking of, you reckon they'll let me take the 🐕 with me? Save me a job Janis: Worth asking Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I've gotta beg the speakers back from 'em so Janis: class first impressions Jimmy: I'll do it, soft lad is obvs the first impression I make as standard Janis: you saying you can bat your eyelashes better than me? Jimmy: duh Jimmy: mine are well longer than yours Janis: fuck off Jimmy: 📏 matters, Janet Janis: you'd know, fat bitch Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱 Jimmy: just 'cause I've got better tits than you, no need to start a scrap Janis: Tits don't count if you only got 'em 'cos you're obese Janis: ask your girlfriend Jimmy: I will Jimmy: properly miss her so any excuse for a 🗨 Janis: you deserve each other, truly Jimmy: Tah, my dear Janis: so you'll be pleased to know you'll be spending less time with me from now on Jimmy: why? Janis: my parents have really leaned into the narrative and have decided you're the enemy Jimmy: Bill's 👻 must've had a word Janis: Yeah Janis: might've mentioned the joyride just to really fuck 'em off and all Jimmy: You wanna call things off then? Jimmy: it weren't part of the plan, them getting Shakespearean about it Janis: nah, fuck that Janis: they'd be doing it regardless, decided they should finally give the whole parenting thing a go Janis: just saying the story can be we're being cruelly kept apart Janis: not that I'm planning to stay locked in my fucking tower actually, already made my first break so Jimmy: Alright Janis: sound more buzzing you don't have to see me, could you Jimmy: 😁😆😄 Jimmy: there you go Janis: 💕 Janis: so sweet Janis: I won't shout about my MIA status, wouldn't be #goals for you to not know where I am Jimmy: do owt for you, you know it and it's obvs vice versa Jimmy: you just proved it there Janis: 'course Janis: will say it was me and hot barista that planned it all if you need Jimmy: bollocks are you taking credit for my idea Janis: I did the heavy work Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: that's the fakest thing you've ever tried to make sound real Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: don't chat shit Janis: We both pulled it off but we can throw him under the 🚎 Janis: you've already taken Jamie away from me Janis: what's the point now Janis: save yourself Jimmy: shut up Janis: do you love him? Jimmy: Do you? Janis: yeah Janis: one convo and bam Janis: actually that 😍 bitch Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I'll see myself out Janis: 'til 💀 do us part, dickhead Jimmy: that'll be you and Mr Lucas Jimmy: I'd remember if I'd been down on one knee Janis: me too Janis: so hard done by Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you cool with being done that dirty Janis: 📏 counts for shit when you lack enthusiasm Jimmy: ain't the first time Janis: shh Janis: don't need to know how often you were down on your knees, tah Jimmy: that don't bode well for our insta q&a Janis: fake rock my world some more then Janis: selfish Jimmy: I'll climb to the top of your white tower any time, girl Jimmy: you're the one MIA Janis: Only at night Janis: gotta be up bright and early for our date 💕 Jimmy: I don't think fucking on a pile of rubbish we've just collected would be considered very #goals but I'll give it a 🥇 spin Janis: there's no way 'round how unapproved all this criminal activity is Janis: still worth it Jimmy: Dunno about you but I'm 👏🏆 in every DM Jimmy: that 😎🚬 rep been set proper in stone now Janis: Lucky you Janis: I've been too busy getting lectured Jimmy: poor baby Janis: I know Jimmy: What can I do to make you feel better? Janis: down you go Jimmy: Alright Janis: I don't know though Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You in a rush too? Jimmy: Got loads of other girlfriends to 👀 Janis: how many fakes one though Jimmy: That'd be telling Janis: so go on Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: have multiple fake girlfriends or tell me about the others Jimmy: Well? Janis: you could get them all to do different shit for you Janis: potential there Janis: idk why you wouldn't tell me if you did though, not like it'd fake break my heart Jimmy: There's your answer then Jimmy: not gonna give away secrets you don't give a shit about hearing Jimmy: what kind of power move Janis: You want to fake break my heart Jimmy: Why would I wanna go off script? Jimmy: The plan is you break mine Janis: I know Janis: not likely to forget what we're doing here Jimmy: Don't forget to tell me how to make you feel better then Jimmy: it's obvs all I'm breathing for Janis: just as obvs I don't really care about any of the Drama™ Janis: as long as I've got you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: just as obvs that I wanna know where you are 'cos I'm bored and dunno where to go or what to do Jimmy: [sends her a pic of him at the park by his house like oh hey] Janis: 😍 Janis: obvious, if the dog isn't with you then I'm not really interested Jimmy: [a pic of Twix because of course] Janis: colour me convinced Janis: we should probably show the fans a united front anyway right Janis: not turned on each other soon as the law got involved, like Jimmy: 🖌☻ Jimmy: not racist if it's your happy colour, right? Janis: 😂 Janis: it's NOT a free pass but Janis: not mad about it, don't tell Jimmy: 😅😅 Janis: it was alright though Janis: the party Janis: aside from doing what we set out to achieve Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: I might throw another one Jimmy: maybe it'll be my rep next place I end up Janis: 🦋 Jimmy: 🤡 probably getting closer Janis: no fit and mysterious but Janis: maybe the next place will have less cunts Jimmy: could be fit and murderous Jimmy: 🤡🔪🔪 Janis: 🙏 Janis: keep my 👀 on the news Jimmy: I'll give you a shoutout, baby Jimmy: write your name in blood or something Janis: Carve it in a victim so I know you remember it 💘 Janis: 🤤🤤 Jimmy: like I said, owt for you, Jules Janis: Thanks Janis: just tell me when you're gonna murder-suicide Janis: can't stay dying here forever Jimmy: I promise Janis: Good Janis: 💀💕 Jimmy: 👻💕 Janis: gonna have to get as far out of this place as I can before I go Janis: refuse to be stuck haunting this shithole for eternity Jimmy: #same Jimmy: though I dunno where's gonna be any different Janis: anywhere you don't know anyone and they don't know you Janis: I reckon Jimmy: that's here for me Jimmy: still don't 💕 it Janis: you'll have to go back home then? Janis: don't know how you're getting through customs as a wanted man but you'll make it happen Jimmy: fuck that Jimmy: if that's where my heart's meant to be you can actually 🔪 it out Janis: would LOVE to have your heart Janis: ultimate goals amirite Jimmy: you can take it then Janis: hot Janis: seeing as everywhere on earth is shit then, shall we just go straight to hell? Jimmy: You said you were going 😇☁ Janis: hold onto your 😎 'cos it's the same place Janis: truth is, just a fucking bummer if you're 😈 Jimmy: What? Janis: heaven and hell are the same place, some people reckon Janis: what could be more torturous than constant classical music and having to wear white for someone so fit and mysterious? Janis: you're gonna be 💔 baby Jimmy: How could you!? Jimmy: pissed on my afterlife Janis: So soz Janis: can always subscribe to reincarnation, might be a laugh Jimmy: 🦍 actually Jimmy: Dan would be so 😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: Ahh Dan Jimmy: OMG you can be a 😳🐷 #fated Janis: Shut up Janis: I'm not being breakfast Jimmy: Or a 🦇!!! Janis: That's more appealing Janis: I'd do that Janis: give fuckers rabies amongst other awful diseases Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: you just need to avoid hunters Janis: you can be chilling up trees, when you're not kidnapping ladies Jimmy: protect me when I'm 💤 babe Janis: Cute Janis: how am I gonna know it's you though? Jimmy: What kind of signal do you want? Jimmy: 🚬☁? Janis: where are you getting 😎 from and all Janis: I'll just have to bite a lot of gorilla necks 'til one of 'em is into it Jimmy: Duh the lasses I've kidnapped Jimmy: what else are they good for? Janis: I don't know if they really discussed that in king kong Janis: I hope not Jimmy: Date night 2 after we've dug up Lennon and Co Jimmy: I've never seen it Janis: Me either Janis: I assume it's not a classic about Beastiality but Janis: might get 🍀 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can liveblog Dan Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: in his DMs til his lass leaves him Janis: love that rep for me Janis: homewrecking then peacing out Jimmy: you have got form Janis: what are friends for Janis: free to tap that now, you're welcome Jimmy: if I wanted to 🐸 lad wouldn't have stopped me Jimmy: but tah very much Janis: yeah? Jimmy: What's your question? Janis: never mind Janis: his resemblance to pond life is uncanny Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 🙊 Janis: I hope they're not all single now Janis: they get even more demonic when there's no dick around to distract them even for a sec, like Jimmy: Do you want me to do a poll? They'll tell me Janis: They'd lie to bone you Janis: Only Asia is stupid enough to not, God bless Jimmy: lucky me Janis: you don't have medical level BO and you can form basic sentences Janis: makes you a 🤴 to them but not special, you feel me Janis: the bar is underground Jimmy: SUCH a sweet talker, you 😳 Janis: I know Janis: just feeling #inspired by you Jimmy: you're meant to inspire me, dickhead Jimmy: gotta do everything myself round here Janis: I'll distract you Janis: make you do the wrong thing Janis: just 😇 things Jimmy: I'l see the paint coming this time, Judith Jimmy: it's the sober light of day Janis: Unfortunately Janis: my shower looked like a Pollock painting this AM Janis: and I can feel just how unsober last night was Jimmy: where's the 📷 you rookie? Janis: 😰 Jimmy: this is where us being #starcrossed falls down Jimmy: useless without me Janis: I wasn't feeling very inspired Janis: after the bollocking from the police, then from my parents, all whilst I could barely stand or 👀 Jimmy: you're 💔 me, girl Janis: I didn't even know where you were Janis: so dramatic, lowkey a stampede when garda showed Jimmy: I get it, you had your 🤞 they'd already sent me back to the grim north Janis: of course Janis: fake prison boyf Jimmy: fuck every other ldr that's the one Janis: could send you the good treats and nudes and shit Janis: so much more manageable Jimmy: you'd never be that nice to me Janis: once 👏 you 👏 kill 👏 for 👏 me 👏 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: not got nowt else on Janis: won't even make it awkward and ask you to kill my sister Janis: pick whoever you wanna, got no preference here Jimmy: 💀👑 first Jimmy: the rest of 'em would feel it Janis: they are the flea to her rat Janis: gotta have that host body Jimmy: and I'd only have to touch her and she'd crumble to dust, an easy 🏆 Janis: How she's fucked as many lads as she has is beyond me Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 shh Janis: I know, it's disturbing and baffling on so many levels Janis: she doesn't even look like a good ride, who went there first and found out Janis: so many questions Jimmy: where's that q&a #content Mia? Janis: 😏 Janis: we should do one, not about the mystery of her skeletal vag Jimmy: the fans will have loads about the party and all that bollocks Jimmy: she'll have to wait Janis: gotta let the people know we made up Jimmy: can do it when you get here Jimmy: my brother's about but so's the 🐕 they're alright Janis: can keep the #content family-friendly Janis: read between the lines, lads Jimmy: yeah the 🐕 is more distracting than you Janis: Charming Janis: 😂 Janis: if I didn't feel like microwaved shit Jimmy: if you were 🥇 like me that wouldn't matter Janis: I didn't 📷 you don't know what I look like, twat Jimmy: you said feel Jimmy: nowt's been mentioned about how either of us look Janis: you sent me a pic Jimmy: and? Jimmy: you can either fake it or you can't 'cause you're either 🥇 or nowt Janis: 'course I can fake it Janis: just not gonna go that hard in front of your brother, obviously Janis: not 🥉 behaviour, that, just weird Jimmy: convenient that Jimmy: your excuse is non-existent 'cause as I said he's only got 👀 for the 🐕 Jimmy: bit like you Janis: 🙄 fine Janis: you're feeling unloved Jimmy: steady on, we're not having a therapy session on the 'gram Janis: just 😍 Janis: I know Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what do you look like? Janis: I've really got to send you a picture so you can tell me I look like shit? Janis: How about we get there and I just listen to all those fake compliments, like Jimmy: If I say please, will you give in? Janis: depends Jimmy: on how I say it or on something else? Janis: if you limit yourself to a word after you've seen it as well Jimmy: I can do that Janis: [we all know you look good you always do bitch] Jimmy: unfair Jimmy: there's my word Janis: okay Janis: I can deal with that Janis: more ? than ! Jimmy: I dunno if I can deal with you setting me up Janis: huh? Jimmy: I just thought you were gonna look Jimmy: and then you're Janis: well you don't look bad either so Janis: it's fair Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: you heard me, I said unfair Janis: well alright Janis: but you're just as unfair then Jimmy: Nah I weren't faking I were 🧟 when I'm actually a hot 🧛 Janis: you're a 👻 Janis: if you don't get to come back as the peak hottest version of yourself, that's some bullshit Jimmy: Duh I actually were 👴 when I ⚰ you just 👀 me as 😎🚬 Janis: Best of both worlds Jimmy: that'll be why I'm such an optimist Janis: ☀ Janis: exactly what comes to mind tbh Jimmy: obvs Janis: think I might've accidentally got on a ghost bus though Janis: it's taking longer than usual, maybe I've been on here forever? Janis: who can say Jimmy: I should've offered to pick you up in Ian's car Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Janis: fake boyfriend who wants to clock up all those hours scrubbing graffiti Jimmy: only 'cause date night 3 I'm planning to take you to put it all back Jimmy: if you're inspiring enough, that is Janis: 😏 Janis: keep doubting #hatersaremymotivatorsbabe Jimmy: prove it then I can't Jimmy: job done ✔ Janis: you want another picture with a 📰🗞 to prove I'm not lying, yeah Jimmy: You, lie? Bollocks would you Janis: know, it's what you 💕 best about me Jimmy: Yeah Janis: how is the actual loml today then? Jimmy: What the fuck does that mean? Janis: BABE!!! Janis: love of my life, OMG Jimmy: have you just made that up? Janis: don't be ridiculous Janis: start # me as such like RN Jimmy: [cue extra socials flirting] Janis: shit just got real, lads Jimmy: must be why I miss you Jimmy: nowt to do with how shit this park is Janis: obviously not Janis: everything's just more shit when I ain't about Jimmy: You're not wrong, bighead Jimmy: Love being bollocked by paddy 👮 me Janis: 🤤 was pretty blatant to me but don't reckon they noticed Jimmy: lads in uniform are just so 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: if I were american I could 🤞 Ian would send me to military school but 💔 Janis: only get your institutionalized abuse if you're rich enough to afford it Janis: or Catholic Janis: and there's a surprising amount of hoops to jump through there Janis: gutting Jimmy: 💔 about that an' all Jimmy: tah for being a pair of heathens mum and dad Janis: you could get confirmed but they'll 👀 you for being a right weirdo from the off Janis: no one JOINS Catholicism by choice, you're born to it and run away 😱 Jimmy: brb gonna have my quick 😭 before you get here Janis: Baby Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: [showing up finally and pretending you checking his face for 😭 and wiping 'em away like 'you can calm down now'] Jimmy: [pretending that you're checking her for bits of paint she missed behind her ears and everywhere but we know you just wanna touch her face and hair always] Janis: [the standard get off moment but loling and loving it secretly] Jimmy: [just leaning on her and sighing dramatically like ugh what a day but it's more to annoy her and be close to her than an actual genuine fml because god forbid you're real about it] Janis: ['that bad, yeah?' and doing an even bigger dramatic sigh '#relatable, mate' we're all loving life lollollol] Jimmy: [when you're competitive af so you wanna do an even bigger sigh yourself but you can't because you've got that secret rib injury and it hurts to breathe in thanks so much Ian #gotta reclaim it from April and Steve] Janis: [simply must] Jimmy: [thank god yet again that 😒 is his default cos you gotta get on the swing for the #aesthetic of this q&a and that means she's gotta sit on you, suffer for your art boy] Janis: [definitely gonna notice though at some point you can't stop me lol] Jimmy: [she always notices things it's a blessing and a curse] Janis: [thank your mother and grandmother for that girl; getting up like ? 'did you actually get stampeded or was it garda?'] Jimmy: ['I get that you're my biggest fan but the q&a weren't planned for you' because especially can't answer that question moreso than any other] Janis: [frowns but as per makes more of a thing out of it so it's fake] Jimmy: [squish her face like she does to you like cheer up] Janis: ['I won't turn it into a game, you can just tell me' 'cos we all remember truth or dare and how well that went] Jimmy: [shrugs 'being a northern 45 has it's downs on top of the massive upsides' when you're acting like you're 👴 and did it by falling or coughing too hard from 🚬 either of which could've happened but didn't] Janis: [🙄 'so you're alright then?'] Jimmy: ['it ain't part of the job for you to worry about me'] Janis: [shrugs like give a shit, boy 'not an answer also, not sneaky'] Jimmy: ['I know how to fake it, that's the only answer you need to hear'] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [goes to check on Bobby and Twix like look how fine I am bye] Janis: [just chilling on the bench like you're so unphased but clearly not and he's clearly not fine otherwise he wouldn't have needed to fake it at all if it was nbd] Jimmy: [Twix jumping up him cos she's so full of love and he's just in casual agony like this is fine] Janis: [just shooting up like nope and coming over to distract Twix and throw her ball for her] Jimmy: [nhs direct be like DON'T smoke so of course that's what he's gonna do, when it's a habit and you don't think about how much it's gonna hurt but you've committed yourself to the 🚬 now] Janis: [just gesturing like lemme share that when you can see the wincing so at least he can only have half] Jimmy: [blatantly knows what she's doing and why but letting it happen cos ouch] Janis: [just doing overtime on that cig lmao] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like calm down as if you remotely have followed your own advice there] Janis: ['never know where the fans are hiding' looking 'round the park as if anyone is about 'cept families and tweens] Jimmy: ['You already looked hot, no need to go overboard'] Janis: ['what's your excuse then?'] Jimmy: ['For what?' you know perfectly well boyy] Janis: [a look that says as much 'you know'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like no I don't] Janis: ['you just want me to say it' tapping her head like not thick] Jimmy: ['so go on'] Janis: ['will you let me help you out if I do? I could walk the dog for you, at least'] Jimmy: [I've said before you can have her' gestures like take that dog away please and thank] Janis: [gestures at Bobby who's probably loving upon her like case in point] Jimmy: [shrugs like he'll get over it] Janis: ['she won't' 💔] Jimmy: [🎻 mime] Janis: [shakes head] Jimmy: [🙄] Janis: ['what did you dad say, like?'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you're trying to work out how up for committing crimes he is, you being underage and all, be a better shout if you faked it as yummy mummy though'] Janis: [tuts, 'runs in the family then'] Jimmy: [shakes his head really OTT because he likes his women 👵 'one of a kind, me'] Janis: [flexes muscle IRL] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [going back to the swing] Jimmy: [pushing her, don't hurt yourself boy] Janis: [just enjoying this but thinking the same, peeping back at him occasionally] Jimmy: [just looking at her like I'm alright cos downplaying it 5ever] Janis: ['alright, you're well hard, we get it'] Jimmy: ['I'm just such a lad, nowt I can do about it, like'] Janis: ['gift and a curse, sure'] Jimmy: [holds the swing to keep it still for a sec 'you alright?' cos even though he's only pushing her gently gotta take the piss that she might 🤢 cos so hungover] Janis: [shakes her head, dramatically 'I'm off the rails, babe and you're meant to be ride or die and you're not telling me nothing' big pout] Jimmy: [comes round the front of the swing so he can look at her dramatically like he's so OTT sorry and forlorn 'making me get on my knees'd be a bit cruel, but name owt else, baby'] Janis: ['yeah, don't' look like you better not with this mystery injury, boy 'tell me what the gameplan is, how are we doing this, how are we getting back at her for this?'] Jimmy: [sits on the swing next to her and is thinking like a winnie because hasn't had chance to even consider any of that with everything else that's going on] Janis: [nods like exactly 'obviously we wanted to get in trouble but that doesn't mean she gets away with being a snitch'] Jimmy: [nods back cos yeah fuck her 'what does she care about?'] Janis: [shrugs 'fuck all but controlling her calories and her minions'] Jimmy: ['Alright, how can we take the control off her?'] Janis: ['if you've still got your job, start melting butter into her coffees' 😏 but also seriously thinking 'not hard to get that lot having an argument...you reckon you could get her chatting shit on them to you? that'd work, love their #receipts, like'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out like let's see and gestures for her to come here even though they are only a swing apart anyway #blatant] Janis: [leaning over his shoulder like 👀] Jimmy: [imagine having to try and chat to Mia, good lord] Janis: [and god knows how you're gonna have to play this to get decent fallout fuel from her, she's not an idiot] Jimmy: [yeah we should say it doesn't work because realistically wouldn't and he'd be so fuming that he hasn't been able to do it] Janis: ['back to the drawing board' and back to her swing to ponder] Jimmy: [😒 af and such a frustrated sigh which is then like OUCH but trying not to show that 'What about that co-worker of mine you were proper willing to throw under the bus and reckon is so well fit?' Hey Pete hey] Janis: [instincitvely reaching to squeeze his hand like hey but then Pete gets mentioned and you casually have to drop it like a hot potato without being that obvious lol 'Does Mia reckon he's well fit enough too?' like I've not been there 'she harass him and all, like?'] Jimmy: ['You said none of 'em have got high standards, what were it, no BO and basic grasp of how to put words together?' shrugs and looks at her like yeah well I'm not trying to say it's a good idea just an idea and another sigh that you can't help because you hate that she cares about Pete and you're reading too much into what that means] Janis: ['might work, might be a bit weird to put across to him though' 'cos can you imagine, like hello, us again... 'she was pretty pissed off when we gatecrashed her sleepover, it'd be worse than community service but we could do more of that? get them on side so she looks as mental as she is, like'] Jimmy: ['Alright' because that's a much better and easier idea you have to admit boy] Janis: ['yeah?' makes a face 'cos what did you just sign yourself up for, you cannot stand these girls lmao] Jimmy: ['I just said it were, must be' because this is all so casual and fine] Janis: ['Remember when we couldn't do a school project with the bitch? Imagine what they're like with no parameters or focus...' rolls eyes like Lord help us all 'definitely gonna be Oscar-winning fakery'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby, it's what Mia's owed, keep that in your head and you'll rise to the challenge, right piece of piss'] Janis: ['she's not my muse, fuck off' but kicking him in a bants manner with your swingy feet] Jimmy: [raises an eyebrow like oh isn't she and is 😏 'I'll keep that to myself, case it fucks with your master plan, don't worry'] Janis: [stops his swing abruptly by yanking on the chain like how dare you 'arsehole' 😒] Jimmy: [OTT like OW even though he's as fine as he's been this whole time] Janis: [when you then have to stop yourself now to check like oh no, so then you're even more 😒 'don't do that!'] Jimmy: [holds his hands up like soz but his 👀s genuinely are we know 'you know I didn't mean owt, be my mate again'] Janis: [standing inbetween his legs and tilting his chin up with your index finger so he's gotta look at you, as if you can work out what happened to him just by staring into his 👀 really hard] Jimmy: [some amazing eye contact as per and hitting her with a 'what?' even though you know cos you always know] Janis: ['we can be mates' like okay do you wanna be any closer though] Jimmy: ['good' likewise not moving like boy if you lean in right now I'm gonna kill you] Janis: [when there's nowhere to hide but you also cannot be the first to break, torn much] Jimmy: [at least we can have Twix or Bobby or both interrupt as he's just moving her hair out of her face/needlessly touching her yet again but before he does or says something we're not ready for because seriously about to here] Janis: [this is true, you aren't alone so you can't have a total bench moment here] Jimmy: [and you defs can't be revealing your secrets or feels rn thank you sir] Janis: [just turning so fast and acting like that never happened like oh hi Twix whilst he deals with Bobby] Jimmy: [do them big brother duties because he can't know you're hurt so you gotta fake it even more] Janis: [the joys] Jimmy: [he's gonna have a ball cleaning up and working ILY Ian you're a star] Janis: [make that punishment even more punishing, we see you] Jimmy: [I also like to imagine his phone going off throughout like you better not be with that girl, try and stop me bitch] Janis: [likewise 'cos you've done a bunk so they're like where are you, you have to go community service blah blah blah] Jimmy: [sharing a look but not a LOOK like] Janis: [actual solidarity, like y'all have no idea yet] Jimmy: [Taking a selfie with Twix and Bobby to send to him like fuck you Ian I'm doing your jobs and then letting Bobby take some cos mini me] Janis: [can't help but smiling 'cos that's cute] Jimmy: [takes her phone to take a coupley selfie so she doesn't feel left out and no other reason] Janis: ['won't tag you, like'[ Jimmy: ['tag Jamie'] Janis: [lols 'start framing him now, alright'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: ['gonna look insane when everyone realizes you were never here the whole time but I'll cope'] Jimmy: ['gutted that Bruce Willis beat us to that plot twist' and such a pouty face] Janis: [squishing it forever like 😏] Jimmy: [leaning on her like I'M SO SAD THO] Janis: ['how can I cheer you up?'] Jimmy: [looking around like we could make a run for it and start a new life, as if he's capable of running rn or ever] Janis: ['my bags are packed, like'] Jimmy: [gestures like come on then but is looking at Bobby and Twix like] Janis: [looks at 'em as well and shrugs like yep 'easier leaving kids that are yours, init'] Jimmy: ['obvs' but now he's thinking about his mum so is actually sad not fake sad #awks] Janis: [is thinking about Drew and Edie so we're all having a lil moment here] Jimmy: [drags her over to the slide like go on, cos he'd die if he had a go so can't] Janis: [looking at Bobby then back at him like 'got your duties mixed up' but obvs has a go not gonna be a spoilsport] Jimmy: [then Bobby has a go and then Twix wants a go so you gotta go again girl] Janis: [like a babby] Jimmy: [you know he's getting all the adorable pics] Janis: [putting Twix on Bobby's lap at the top of the slide 'cos she's a pup so small] Jimmy: [he's falling in love again y'all] Janis: [put twix in a baby swing, that would be hilarious] Jimmy: [they gotta so he can be 😏 instead of 😍 because you're not kissing her rn boy I forbid it] Janis: [there's just no fake rn and we all know it] Jimmy: [he doesn't have it in him rn despite what he said] Janis: [mhmm, we won't be infiltrating the flat whites any time soon lmao] Jimmy: [gotta give that more than a hot sec but I do think at some point they should run into Asia and her sisters again for the lol because] Janis: [that would be good 'cos the mood that day lolllll] Jimmy: [they can get Bobby in on the fake niceness by bribing him or something lol] Janis: [#playdate!] Jimmy: [exactly dr phil] Janis: [god bless] Jimmy: [should probably get that kid and dog back so come and chill at his gaff again girl] Janis: [your parents will be delighted hahahaha suck it lads] Jimmy: [hooray for Ian being at work so you don't actually have to see him though] Janis: [that's a blessing] Jimmy: [make tea and food for everyone Jimothy we know that's your life] Janis: don't need to tell you how to make it Janis: handy Jimmy: You gonna give me a hand though? Jimmy: I get that there's no promise of an apron but you already look 🥇 we've covered that Janis: and run the risk of you thinking I'm not a spoilt brat? 🤔 Janis: I guess I could Janis: as you're full of compliments as currency today Jimmy: 🤞 they won't take your 🐴 away for mucking in like the common lads and lasses do, rich girl Janis: Better not Janis: love mucking out SO much Janis: [does come to help like bonjour] Jimmy: and it would muck up the stable boy fantasy before we've had a go at it 💔 Janis: [lols] Janis: that's exactly what your accent is Jimmy: [says something like a cliche stable boy would idk I'm not a horse girl] Janis: [reminds me of that classic book baby mama was in with game of thrones, though he's like gameskeeper or whatever the fuck anyway, loling harder and fake swooning] Jimmy: [when you pretend to catch her fainting, shameless touching even if it hurts you is your real ultimate kink boy] Janis: [the tea, saying something stereotypically posh in a stereotypically posh voice to break the tension that is just always there now] Jimmy: [does the posh little finger thing while drinking his and loling] Janis: [making nerd glasses with her fingers at him like 😏] Jimmy: ['Oi, be nice to me' making a face like I'm so injured excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you gone shy or you gonna show me?' gestures like kit off boy] Jimmy: [is awks af obvs because we know it's bad but does take off his top because can't admit it #challengealwaysaccepted] Janis: [breathing in through her teeth like ouch and really gently touching them, like barely, speaking just as softly 'you should take an ice bath, it'd take down this swelling'] Jimmy: ['always trying to get me in the bath, you' but his voice is as soft as hers is 'but no pictures this time, a cute filter ain't gonna make this look goals'] Janis: ['Who could blame me' but said more as a throwaway comment just to keep this feeling normal and not like you're worried about him in any way nope, a look like obviously, who am I? before moving him, gently, out the way 'I'll finish up here, yeah'] Jimmy: [a shrug like I can do it because god forbid you actually take it easy lad] Janis: ['I can make-' (fill in the blank of whatever he's feeding Bobby, lol fish fingers or whatever we know the vibe here) 'if you don't wanna get in without me, wait, like'] Jimmy: ['Calm down, no dickhead's ready for how wife goals you are' and some fake 😍 'if you're that about trying to work your magic work out how we're gonna fill the tub with the one ice tray, what would your mate Jesus do?'] Janis: [less fake 🙄 back 'fine, I'll go buy a couple bags, prepare yourself' and chucking her shoes and whatnot back on like brb, least you don't live in the middle of nowhere] Jimmy: [irl 👍] Janis: won't let you 🥶 Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀? Jimmy: I get it, nowt massively 😎🚬 about that Janis: In terms of murder, pretty good idea but nah Janis: I've done 'em before so I'm not 🙀 Jimmy: knew you had loads of bodies in your freezer Jimmy: bit rude to make me think our 💀💀💀 pact were the first Jimmy: bit ruder that you never went through with your end all the other times Janis: just waiting to meet the one, babes Janis: 🤷 can't be killing myself for every lad that comes through Jimmy: proper heartbreaker you Jimmy: knew that an' all Janis: You won't get chance to tweet that Janis: s'fine Janis: 🙊🙉🙈 Jimmy: didn't break none of my fingers Janis: you're really gonna do it whilst I'm out running errands? Janis: ungrateful Jimmy: stop begging, I'll be a good boy Jimmy: for a bit Janis: It's you with the kink for being told what to do, apparently Janis: stop complaining Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: ray of fucking ☀ or nowt Janis: wrong chat then Janis: my bad Jimmy: sort it out, girl Janis: be more memorable, boy Jimmy: 💀💀💀 you too quick if I were Janis: exactly Janis: letdown no. ??? Jimmy: piss off Janis: Calm down Janis: can't be letdown by something that ain't real Janis: only have myself to blame then and not about that Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: ugh Jimmy: It's a hard life, Jasmine Jimmy: crack on, we don't have all day Janis: excuse me Janis: as long as you do it within the first three days, it'll still work Janis: and you're on chef duties so you shut up and concentrate Jimmy: I can't concentrate if you're gonna chat to me like that Jimmy: 😍🤤🤤😍 Janis: blame the burning on me then Janis: we all know you're just 🥉 Jimmy: Oi, I'll be a top wife Jimmy: know how to take a punch and everything Janis: Shh Janis: busy Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Meant to be helping, so let me Jimmy: why you trying to make me 😭 then? that won't help Jimmy: bloody hurt if owt Janis: Obviously not Janis: you know I'm not good at words, it's not a surprise Jimmy: duh it's the only thing we've got in common Janis: is it cheering you to make me try and fail then? Janis: 'cos have at it but you will end up 😭 by the end of t Jimmy: I just Jimmy: wanna chat to someone who ain't 6 Jimmy: or a 🐕 Janis: 2/2 Janis: take that victory Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: there you go Janis: I will fill it with ice Jimmy: and a drink of your choice Jimmy: I 👀 you, pisshead Janis: just prepping myself for having to 👀 you in the tub again Jimmy: I can get in by myself, I were 👴 but 👻 me is in his prime, remember Jimmy: near as much an athlete as you at this rate Jimmy: 💪🥇 Janis: let's not get carried away Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: might wanna carry you about Janis: when you're recovered Jimmy: takes weeks 🤞 I'll be long gone Janis: about as reliable as 🙏 Janis: take from that whatever you want, heathen Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: or I'll just get another girlfriend who ain't as heavy as you Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm not heavy Jimmy: depends Janis: on how weak you are? yeah Jimmy: on who we're comparing you to Jimmy: but you can piss off, I'm not weak, I'm injured Janis: Know you're used to puppies and 6 year olds, obvs Jimmy: you're not the first lass I've lugged about, soz to melt your ❄ babe Janis: 💔 Janis: I'm not anorexic or otherwise as easily deluded, I know I'm skinny Jimmy: never said you weren't Jimmy: have said before that you're a 🦒 Janis: thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need anything else whilst I'm here Jimmy: You're my nurse, you tell me Janis: get you some drugs Janis: don't take 'em all at once 💀💀💀 Jimmy: What if I promise to split 'em right down the middle? Janis: I'm not dying for you today Jimmy: Baby please Janis: Nah Janis: find some tiny girlfriend who'll need half the tabs Jimmy: been there, done that Janis: plenty more midgets either side of the sea Jimmy: I don't have time to go 🎣 but tah for that Janis: Busy busy Jimmy: hardworking kink ain't nowt but a curse 🎻 Janis: don't need to tell me Janis: I'm rich Janis: the less you see your missus and fam the better 🤤 Jimmy: wouldn't dream of telling you nowt of the sort, not very #goals that Janis: so needy 😏 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: so mean today you Janis: just today? Jimmy: not thick enough to start digging myself down into that big of an hole Jimmy: and obvs too weak any road so Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: more like it Janis: though implying I was gonna get pissy about it was a dick move that did not go unnoticed Jimmy: I said what I said Jimmy: there's nowt you don't get pissy about when that's what you wanna do Janis: Maybe you're just really fucking annoying Janis: that's more than a distinct possibility Jimmy: only maybe? Jimmy: 💕 Janis: So optimistic too Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: you need to get back on it, pisshead, that'll sort you out Janis: You like me better when I'm drunk Janis: spread that around Janis: though frankly, lil rapey is their type Jimmy: I don't like you however much you drink, not a paddy Janis: Try drinking some more yourself Janis: looking for common sense at the bottom of a bottle ain't a noble pursuit but you know Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [a selfie of him posing with Ian's stash like oh hey] Janis: and you were gonna let me buy more Janis: who's the shit host now Jimmy: I never said you should buy owt Jimmy: you went off on your own #mission Janis: you'll be grateful later Jimmy: yeah 'cause that's how you like me, I know Janis: Don't you start #kinkassuming thank you Jimmy: no need to assume it, I've 🔓 it Jimmy: got the 🎟 Janis: 🤔 Janis: Must've been wasted Janis: as per Jimmy: Or I've got the wrong girlfriend Jimmy: might do Janis: It happens Janis: what's my name again Jimmy: what kind of fish do you wanna be? that'd help me out Jimmy: I've voted already Janis: 🦈 Jimmy: #fated Janis: if you said 🐬 I'd delete and block you Jimmy: I can't, that's Asia's Jimmy: nowt I can do when she's just SO SMART Janis: can't wait 'til some screaming kid covers her blowhole and suffocates her Jimmy: 😂 Janis: shame you ain't a starfish Janis: cut your legs off see if they grow back Jimmy: What am I then? Janis: one of those lurky bastards at the bottom of the ocean Janis: just been sitting there for 10000000s of years Jimmy: that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: brb need to dry my eyes Janis: I know Janis: 💦💦 Jimmy: that what's taking you so long? Janis: yeah Janis: am I not allowed any privacy? Jimmy: You've heard 💀👑's stance on that Janis: you invited her over already? Janis: keen Jimmy: you wish, Jennifer Jimmy: can't have her around in my weakened state Janis: fuck off and stop being a baby Jimmy: you fuck off Janis: come get your stuff then Jimmy: you're alright Janis: it'll melt out here Jimmy: I get that I'm such a ☀ but outside ain't competing that hard Janis: Don't be awkward Jimmy: gotta teach the 🐕 fetch some time Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: What? Janis: I've got to go put it in your bath myself, have I Jimmy: You haven't gotta do nowt Janis: are you coming to get it? Jimmy: Am I on a ⏲? Janis: would you like me to work out how long it takes to melt a bag of ice Janis: like I said, awkward Jimmy: 🤓 Janis: I'm going to smack you upside the head with it in a second Jimmy: [comes to get it like go on then] Janis: [obviously will not lol, just shoving it at him like there you go] Jimmy: [takes it and walks off leaving her with Twix who has come like hey girl] Janis: [tryna get her in the house 'cos you were tryna leave on the low but Twix says no] Jimmy: [puts some ice in whatever bottle he's stolen off Ian and offers it to her like] Janis: ['only 'cos it'll get watered down now otherwise'] Jimmy: ['duh, that's the trick, then he dunno I've nicked it'] Janis: [🙄 @ Ian 'Amateur, I would know'] Jimmy: ['you ain't thick and northern' said over his shoulder as he's going upstairs to get in his ice bath with the stolen booze casually] Janis: [just downstairs like what am I meant to do now excuse me but definitely not going to ask] Janis: try not to go into shock or get hypothermia please Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long have I gotta sit here like a dickhead? Janis: do 5 minutes, if you can hack it Janis: no longer than 10 Jimmy: say when Janis: Get in and then I'll come in and supervise Janis: I'm not gonna accidentally kill you Jimmy: don't get none of this #drama with a bag of peas Jimmy: but alright Janis: it'll be more effective Janis: trust me Jimmy: if you've gotta say it, I probably shouldn't Jimmy: well suspicious Janis: it's not gonna be nice but it'll stop the damage getting worse and kickstart the healing Jimmy: 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 Janis: yeah, that's why you're getting in before I come up Janis: I'll listen for the scream, like Jimmy: did you 👂 or do you want me to get out and back in? Janis: Okay Janis: so tough, I get it Janis: [comes up and puts her hand to his forehead to check his temp] Jimmy: [imagine his little face please just like fuck me this is #fun] Janis: [puts a timer on her phone and is looking for the biggest, softest towel for when he gets out] Jimmy: [when you're the most caring ever on the low] Janis: ['I'm sorry' and taking the drink from him] Jimmy: [a look like ? because not gonna try and talk atm] Janis: [gestures like for all of it, I don't know but then doesn't wanna be that bitch so sucks it up and actually says why 'I didn't mean to call you a baby'] Jimmy: [puts a finger to his lips like shut up it's fine] Janis: [shrugs an alright and sits down on the side of the bath] Jimmy: [splashes but so the water just comes up and doesn't actually touch her because not that rude and also he's too cold to do a really big splash movement] Janis: [reaching in, whey but not, to get his feet out 'cos apparently your toes will be most sensitive so they don't need to be under, neither do his hands, just rubbing some life back into them with said towel like there we go] Jimmy: [saying a sincere thanks with his 👀 but then having to look away because who ever looks after him #emotions] Janis: ['I'll make you a cuppa when you get out'] Jimmy: you just want one, I 👀 you Janis: [takes another swig from the bottle like yes, blatantly 😏] Jimmy: 😏 Janis: then you can get in bed for a bit Janis: can't get straight in a hot shower, though you wanna Jimmy: how many of these have you done? Janis: enough Janis: plus I do sports science and all that shit so Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: will when those bruises fade, like Janis: not jealous or nothing but it is a bit rude Jimmy: don't be, nobody does 'em like you, baby Janis: might have to tweet it Janis: don't want a repeat Jimmy: [cue flirty af tweets to distract her because we can't tell her what happened] Janis: [with that we can probably get you out, to your great relief] Jimmy: [help him like the 👴 he is, girl] Janis: [get him wrapped up in that towel and in his room asap] Jimmy: [you have to snuggle him it's basically the law] Janis: [would literally be rude not to, least you can do it and be rubbing his arms like just warming you up nothing else going on nope] Jimmy: [the amount of things I have to stop him from saying or doing rn, boy no] Janis: ['do you still own a hoodie? you need to wrap up warm'] Jimmy: [a lil lol but goes to get his warmest one cos wouldn't have had that out in april so she hasn't stolen it] Janis: [control your 😍 at his cute you've got a job to do 'do you want your tea now?'] Jimmy: [when you shake your head before you can stop yourself or do your trick of not answering a q because you just don't want her to go] Janis: [just patting the bed like get back in then] Jimmy: [does] Janis: [when you have to snuggle really hard for warmth also single bed moment again] Jimmy: [god bless, what makes it even better is knowing how fuming Ian would be but it's literally your fault sir, you've done this] Janis: [you did this bitch] Jimmy: [thanks for bringing them closer together hoe] Janis: [nice try, universe] Jimmy: ['Am I gonna die if I fall asleep?' from within the snuggle] Janis: [tiniest lol 'only if you also feel a sudden urge to take your clothes off too' accidentally saucy like 😳] Jimmy: ['well now you've told me not to, I obvs do' playing it like you're such a rebel but we know why you wanna] Janis: ['then I'd have to keep you awake, it's your choice'] Jimmy: [such a LOOK] Janis: [closing his eyes like no looking 'cos literally can't handle it] Jimmy: [opening them again because 1. he's that dickhead but more importantly 2. he can give her a look like even if I fall asleep don't leave] Janis: ['you can go to sleep' in response 'but-' and not finishing that sentence] Jimmy: ['what?' because I have to every single time] Janis: [non-committal noises like idk doesn't matter forget it etc] Jimmy: ['go on' because can't and won't drop anything unless he wants to] Janis: [shrugs without smacking him in the face hopefully 'cos you are that close rn 'you don't have to'] Jimmy: [nods like alright like it's so casual but not breathing because it isn't even remotely casual bye] Janis: ['We could-' stopping to correct yourself to make it sound more fake as if we're even remotely believing that now '-I could make you feel even better, if you want'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you reckon you're a better nurse than me, eh?' throwback to that school trip moment and how hot it was 'crack on then, but nowt'll top that ice bath' such sarcasm, such wit] Janis: [smiles 'not that that's much to brag about, yeah' rolls her eyes and sighs like oh, if I must, as if she didn't suggest it, TOTALLY unprompted 'still my idea, that, so your turn for a good one again, when you're all healed, of course' doing the poor baby pout at him whilst sitting herself up and maneuvering VERY carefully so she's sat on top of him, facing away so he's looking at the back of her 'obviously, that shit about not poking bruises is true, but if we sort the rest of your muscles out, you'll feel less fucked in general' and starting a full-body-but-his-abdomen-area massage with his calves/feet and working her way up 'cos lord knows the boy is tense and she already has a decent idea of what she's doing here] Jimmy: [when that feels so good literally immediately that you have to take the piss because you can't cope 'what the fuck else are they teaching you in sports science, girl?' I can only imagine the kind of teacher they'd have for that so I'm loling] Janis: ['gutted you didn't take it now, yeah?' shaking her head like 😏 and moving up to the thighs] Jimmy: ['more inspiring than art by the looks of it, like, not that that's much to brag about either'] Janis: ['your stuff was alright' like casually bringing up that night like how much do we remember, we'll never know] Jimmy: [thank god she can't see him blushing rn 'you're a decent canvas' bringing up the paint fight because yolo and downplaying the rest of his art because thanks Ian for making him think he's not good at anything] Janis: [likewise but you are gonna have to turn 'round now 'cos you've run out of body lmao 'you too' then and now, obvs] Jimmy: [we all just dying here] Janis: [take a sec to compose yourself before turning 'cos now you're gonna be onto hands and that's like the most intimate somehow] Jimmy: [it seriously is though] Janis: [think it's 'cos you have to sit and face each other and hold hands in a sensual manner, at least he is laying down though so he could avoid the eye contact if he chose to] Jimmy: [I REFUSE to allow you to make eye contact during this sir] Janis: [awkward when it'll be shoulders after and you're gonna be so up in his face like hello, stay strong lads] Jimmy: [oh lord I'll just be screaming DON'T YOU DARE KISS the whole time] Janis: [hohaha this is just mean] Jimmy: [she'll have her work cut out though because nobody's carried this much tension in their body since teenage Tess Vickers] Janis: [since me honey] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [least you can really concentrate on doing a good job 'cos yeah wants to kiss him so bad[ Jimmy: [there's no denying what a good job she is doing though 🥇 legit] Janis: [fuck you Ian] Jimmy: [forever the mood] Janis: [though will be leaving before you get back, don't need you fucking up all this hard work tah] Jimmy: [bye felicia] Janis: [though not going anywhere really you'll have to deal] Jimmy: [we should say one of the flat whites are doing something so they can start their plan] Janis: [yeah, maybe Grace is forcing Mia or one of the others to have a party 'cos obvs she doesn't want everyone at Cali gaff really] Jimmy: [and she'd be hoping it'd stop everyone talking about Janis and their party but it sadly won't babe] Janis: [when y'all can't hang and we all know it] Jimmy: [I vote it's 💀#2 cos mad at her for bathgate tbh] Janis: [and she's probably got the most impressive house in a basic rich way so it's a plus to getting people to show] Jimmy: [agreed] Janis: [along with Mia obvs but we know the vibe, what a joy this will be lol] Jimmy: [I feel like Mia would never have parties at her house because such a daddy's girl and that's why you have minions] Jimmy: [at least you can kiss when you get there cos DYING to] Janis: [exactly, not gonna trash your own house, like, plus bet her mum is a cringe] Jimmy: [I just picture Regina's mum in mean girls basically lol] Janis: [tryna cry about your cheating mans with your daughter and her friends, no one needs that do they Mia, at least Ali would never lmao] Jimmy: [Ali's only cringe cos of how hot everyone thinks she is] Janis: [Mia probably does, secret gay] Jimmy: [oh girl] Janis: [will we ever know your damage truly lol] Jimmy: [we should probably figure it out one day so when we're famous everyone's not like wtf casually an Amber from Get Even situation on our hands] Janis: [true true, but sometimes people are in your life as a cunt and you don't consider why, esp as a teen so it's real that the characters don't know, even if we do] Jimmy: [yeah agreed the whole point is she knows everything about Grace and she knows barely anything about Mia because power moves] Janis: [keep them secrets] Jimmy: [it's that poor little rich girl stereotype and we all know it] Janis: [god bless, we have been distracted though, shall we skip as we are not letting anything happen now or?] Jimmy: [we can do because we very much know the vibe and like realistically they could show up to this function way early like even while the flat whites were all getting ready if they wanted because they have a plan to start] Janis: [oh yeah, like let us help you set up!!!!1 mega friendly so not suspect lol] Jimmy: [we all know they'd be ??? but still let them because Mia thinks she's so smart and in control] Janis: [this would be so painful and funny like try not to die holding in lols at them] Jimmy: [#bondingexperiences] Janis: [they should also be wearing more basic approved clothes, like not too wildly obvs but more girly for her, less alternative for him] Jimmy: [yasss and Grace can do her make up because she's actually good at it for all her other cringe so it would look good] Janis: [gotta get her on side too, keep your suspicions in the chat and not in front of your friends] Jimmy: [you're not touching her hair though, Jimmy would be devastated beyond belief] Janis: [we have to draw the line somewhere] Jimmy: [also Asia should have a new bf she's showing off for the lols] Janis: [what a delight, all the single flat whites crying in the club] Jimmy: [omg if he shows up early too and tries to make awkward #ladsladslads small talk with Jimothy the most unsocial egg in the world] Janis: [good idea ladeh] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: after I've done him Jimmy: can't be lasses first this once, soz Janis: getting on that well, are you? Jimmy: don't 😘 and tell, me Janis: Bullshit Janis: all you do 🗨❤📷📱 Jimmy: Alright, 'cause you untwisted my arm, I'll 🗨 Janis: You giving each other chinese burns? Janis: you wanted that peak homoerotic bullying moment Janis: so happy for you babes!!! 💖 Jimmy: I wish but I do reckon I proper LOVE him Jimmy: summer wedding 🤞 Janis: sending you colour-palettes as we speak OMG Janis: gonna have to let Asia down really gently or you'll all turn up at the altar by the sounds of 🙄🙄 Jimmy: You'll do it for me though, yeah? call it first duty as maid of honour Janis: take great pleasure when I have to stop playing dress up and nice, yeah Jimmy: let's swap, I'd be about playing dress up Janis: 😱😱😱 EWWW Janis: such a perv Jimmy: be more jealous that I'm prettier than you, babes Janis: you be more that you'd NEVER fit in this dress she's letting me borrow 😘 Jimmy: 😭😭😭😭 find me in the kitchen with your sister eating my feelings Janis: yeah you stay away from my sister creep Janis: focus on making Janis: Declan? Janis: Dave Janis: your bestie for the night/forever and ever 💖 Jimmy: fuck that, please come and rescue me Janis: alright Janis: as he's as bad as he looks Janis: just got to finish being tortured here without dropping that he was in my DMs a few ago, like Janis: when will she meet her 🤴 eh Jimmy: when she stops fucking 🐸? Jimmy: though he looks bit more like 🦎 Janis: More exotic? Janis: upgrade 🙌 Jimmy: more like he's shedding his skin about Jimmy: what did he 🗨 then? Janis: eurgh Janis: least you forgo'd the black for just one night Janis: asking me my skincare routine, obvs Janis: all adds up now Jimmy: 🙌 Jimmy: adds up that he's all over me, that's all any dickhead knows of your skincare routine Janis: You can't be taking credit for my skin now Janis: already feel like a barbie up here without you turning it Frankenstein Jimmy: Poor baby Jimmy: I can save you, just 💪 my way in, hang on Janis: Can hear the hysteria already Janis: if the octaves get any higher, only your dog gonna be able to understand 'em, like Jimmy: you're worth the risk to my one good ear 💕 Jimmy: [does bowl in and pull her away but not far because 👀🍿 like I need you to be with me soz] Janis: [Grace just like HER MAKEUP 'cos we know the lipstick is going everywhere] Jimmy: [soz not soz gals] Janis: [lowkey tryna make him leave 'cos this is girl's time 'cos that's always a thing like we all know you're just jelly and sad about your own lack of love ladies] Jimmy: [Mia like no boys and JJ just ignoring her so hard rn because only got 👀 for each other and it's not even fake] Janis: [cannot sacrifice him to this boy rn imagine the 'bants' good lord] Jimmy: [literally he could not be further from that #lad vibe he'd be so over it and tbh fuck you Mia we know you're the only one who actually cares if he stays] Janis: [tbh, just chilling on 💀#2 bed like you're abso besties rn] Jimmy: [god imagine her room, he'd feel so uncomfortable lowkey but we never showing it] Janis: [all white everything like no one spill anything christ] Jimmy: [I hope Grace drops some makeup like Sammi is always doing, my beloved clumsy babe] Janis: [you two try not to piss yourselves like] Jimmy: [when you have to turn it into a cough and that hurts you but at least it stops the lols] Janis: [asking if yous can smoke in here when you so clearly cannot lmao but an excuse for an actual break like brb, he clearly needs it] Jimmy: [run lads run] Janis: [a look when you're outside like Jesus fucking Christ before having the lols you've been holding back this whole time 'God, I actually NEED that cigarette, hurry up, like'] Jimmy: [100% shared and obvs he does hurry up and light hers because whipped and then his because likewise needed] Janis: [just discussing how pissed off Mia is already like lollollol] Jimmy: [and plotting how to piss her off more whilst getting the others on side] Janis: ['hope her birthday is soon, love to fuck that up' when you should know by rights but take no interest so do not lol] Jimmy: [checks her socials because there'd be a shit load of posts from last year and he'd be able to work out the date holds his phone up to her like] Janis: [🤔 then 😒 'nah fuck it, can't be around them that long' and 😏 on the exhale at him] Jimmy: ['And you can't do it without me' because still running with that narrative he'll be gone soon] Janis: ['I'd have time to audition replacements before then, come on'] Jimmy: [😒 that we're pretending is fake but isn't] Janis: [nudges him in the side with hers 'One and only, I remember'] Jimmy: [nudges her back like be careful with me even though she already is being] Janis: ['my delicate little baby' and cupping his cheeks instead of squashing 'em] Jimmy: [looks down at whatever outfit they've put her in 'dunno what I'm gonna call you'] Janis: ['but your list of J names is endless'] Jimmy: ['but those are for you, who the fuck is she?' gestures at the look like who would wear this but OTT because we know she looks good still really and we're not trying to slag her off] Janis: [looks down like yeah, ikr 'sadly their names don't all rhyme or begin with the same letter or something as appropriately cultish so' shrugs like who knows] Jimmy: [dramatic sigh/ exhale of smoke like what a let down] Janis: ['How many continents and virtues still up for grabs?'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head to self thinking on how many levels Grace is an inappropriate name for her 'Not Chastity, like, or Antarctica, both so not goals for the same reason'] Jimmy: ['Whatever the hottest country is, go with that one' when you're not even joking rn you just think she's that hot blatantly] Janis: [trying not to 😳 with limited success 'yeah, such a flex, could go with a vice for a name too but be a bit on the nose, I reckon'] Jimmy: 'Depends, probably don't choose gluttony or owt but' shrugs] Janis: ['Exactly, get sexier names or get out'] Jimmy: [looking over his shoulder like you can feel Mia lurking 'about time we got back in' even though that's the last thing either of them wants] Janis: [sighs not even a bit fake 'yeah' then doesn't move] Jimmy: [puts his arm around her waist like come on but doesn't move either] Janis: [puts hers around his neck 'but I just wanna be with you' and we're pretending that's fake but it's just tea] Jimmy: ['I won't leave you with 'em again' when you 100% mean that] Janis: ['Good' resting your head on his shoulder instead of moving] Jimmy: [stroking her hair nbd] Janis: [can't stay here forever lads, maybe people are actually starting to show up] Jimmy: [get back in lads and find you have a drink waiting because Mia is trying to be #fake nice too so draw the poison symbol on her arm with your fingertip and do an IRL 🤞 before downing it] Janis: [when you look for reactions with almost genuine concern she's such a snek then you down yours, cheersing at her from across the room] Jimmy: [kiss her for the romeo and juliet ref but also just cos you wanna] Janis: [we know the vibe, this could also be the party Mia bangs Pablo maybe? jussayin] Jimmy: [that's such a good idea actually because she's so mad that the squad are team jj and Asia's got a new bf and she's losing her control honey] Janis: [mhmm, that's what I thought, it's a fuck you in the bag, like] Jimmy: [I had the hilarious mental image of JJ doing whatever this era's equivalent of tiktok is with tall tammy like that's her thing™ cos Grace has youtube] Janis: [that's so funny lmao yes must] Jimmy: [hence Mia be fuming cos 💀#2 is the only one giving her the time of day rn] Janis: [truly the Lorraine of this situation] Jimmy: [and Grace is probably trying to get with someone Mia doesn't want her to because she's jealous of jj's love] Janis: [oh what a night] Jimmy: [such fun, but they should 'accidentally' fuck up the borrowed dress in some way by the end of this] Janis: [that's also an idea, plenty of ways that could happen, soz gal lol] Jimmy: [yeah they'll enjoy that and rich girl should have a heated indoor pool they can piss about with] Janis: [such a rich teen mood to jump in in your underwear, the other guests will, the flat whites just like nooooo] Jimmy: [Asia might but the rest of them would NEVER] Janis: [oh Asia, you fun loving gal] Jimmy: [get on that 🦎 bf in the pool like] Janis: [i'm loling, what other hijinks could happen] Jimmy: [I wish they could 'accidentally' push Mia in like oh soz we were playfighting and just happened to get in the way babes] Janis: [they should, 'cos then she'd also make them all go comfort her so it'd be like 1 point them but also 1 to her] Jimmy: [give jj a flat white break for a bit cos they'd all have to help her get ready all over again too] Janis: [exactly, oh how uncool of you, play it off girl, so extra] Jimmy: [if Jimmy chucked Janis in it'd be a different story, look listen and learn gal] Janis: [at least they didn't push Grace in, the actual meltdown of it all] Jimmy: [I could never, as much as she annoys me] Janis: [we all know Janis would but we're playing nice rn so no, hmm, they could commandeer her room and go through her shit lmao no shame, obvs pretending they're banging not just like 'scuse me nosy person coming through] Jimmy: [a nice throwback to school trip when they were meant to be punished but it was just fun] Janis: [exactly dr phil...bitch probably has a diary like be cliche about it] Jimmy: [take all the pics of that #goss in case you need it later, cos she'd know the most about Mia 💀 pact and all] Janis: [mhmm mhmm, you're obviously gonna find her binge stash but that's not news] Jimmy: [fatty boy gonna eat some of it though] Janis: [think Mia's helped herself lollll] Jimmy: [you're welcome for that little domestic ladies] Janis: [death pact drama, just sow all these seeds on the low] Jimmy: [just chucking her on the bed even though you're not meant to pick her up rn and tickling her/all that good messing about because you've GOTTA mess the bed up and no other reason] Janis: [we all know the show is getting put on as if people can see lowkey] Jimmy: [can't even blame them cos even if they shamelessly didn't want to, it's what they are so used to doing by now too] Janis: [we all know you do though and that ain't getting any easier lads] Jimmy: [tea] Janis: [like to think you're fresh out the pool now too 1. for max hotness 2. so her bed is soaked lol thanks] Jimmy: [100% approved] Janis: [just pondering what else can be done and said...Harry is probably here, 'cos of the Mia of it all, do we wanna do anything with that?] Jimmy: [she would 100% invite him so yeah we definitely should do something but what? hmmmm] Janis: [we could have Mia forcing a convo moment 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: [that's real because she so would] Janis: [then it's gonna be awkward between them 'cos he's gonna be mad and she'll wanna die] Jimmy: [cheers for making tomorrow's community service even more fun Mia] Janis: [just getting y'all out of that convo as fast as you can without giving Mia too much satisfaction with it, going to the garden to smoke after but being like 'I'll leave you to it'] Jimmy: [so awkward so moody] Janis: [always ending up hiding in a bathroom or spare room or some bullshit so you can have a moment] Jimmy: [at least it would be a massive house so she can] Janis: soz Jimmy: yeah I know Janis: everyone at this party is a cunt Janis: not surprising, I know Jimmy: hang on, gonna take ages for me to @ them all Janis: you gonna turn on me then Jimmy: why would I give her owt she wants? Janis: I'm not gonna dob you in to her, like Jimmy: you wanna have a scrap? Janis: Not with you Jimmy: leave it out then Janis: Alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: take your own advice yeah Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: don't need to do a passive-aggressive 👍 just shh Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: that better? Janis: 👍👍👍👍 Janis: that much better Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: if you've got nothing nice to say, don't emoji at me, dickhead Jimmy: how about you tell me how you reckoned this were gonna go and I'll fake the proper 🗨 for you Janis: Like I said, you don't need to say anything Janis: fake or otherwise Janis: I was just saying what I had to Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Okay, come find me when you wanna or whatever Jimmy: come find me when you need owt Janis: Fine Jimmy: ✔ Janis: If I could undo it, I would Janis: I know it makes this shit needlessly more difficult Jimmy: don't worry, this is my piss easy job Janis: easier than serving them lattes? Jimmy: make it more obvious that you've never had to Janis: At least you don't have to spend this long fully focused on them at CG though Janis: is what I mean Jimmy: I ain't focused on 'em now Janis: only for as long as you can make a 🚬 last Jimmy: nah, they don't matter that much, is what I mean Jimmy: it's just bollocks Janis: yeah Janis: but we're still doing it Janis: so it must matter a bit Jimmy: the reasons I'm doing this is nowt to do with any of them Janis: I know the main reason Janis: but we don't need to be here for that Jimmy: the main reason were not making my life any harder, her dobbing us in has done that, so yeah, we do Janis: Yeah, it's payback Janis: so it is about her Janis: her getting some of her bullshit back won't unfuck what she's already done but might make us feel better about it Jimmy: it's about us, you just said it Jimmy: feeling better Janis: Alright Janis: it doesn't matter either way to me how you slice it Jimmy: if it doesn't matter, why are we 🗨 about it? Janis: I was asking how you found it easy Jimmy: Alright Janis: You didn't exactly answer but yeah Jimmy: you dunno 'cause you dunno nowt about me or what my life's like, there's your answer Janis: It's not that deep Janis: asking how partying with them could be easier than serving them isn't a crazy question Janis: if you don't want to answer, don't, it's fine Jimmy: like I said, if you'd ever done it you'd get that it's a bollocks question Janis: Well you know I haven't Jimmy: she ain't gonna treat me how she does there, she can't unless I were here to hand round the drinks Janis: she's a cunt Janis: I'm aware Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: she's incapable of not treating people like shit, no matter who you are to her Janis: she has them, her best friends, running 'round after her as much as she does you whenever she comes in Janis: that's what she is, I know that Jimmy: me an' all Janis: yeah, so no need to talk to me like I'm thick just 'cos I've never had to clean up after her Janis: known and been around the bitch much longer, I've had my fair share, don't worry Jimmy: I don't wanna talk about her, that's what I'm trying to get into your head Janis: We're at her party, we're doing this whole thing Janis: what else could we talk about Jimmy: nowt obvs Janis: right Jimmy: 🔈 Janis: 👍 loud and clear Jimmy: [come back in and get more drinks boy you can't 🚬 forever] Janis: [just hiding forever though] Jimmy: ? Janis: yes? Jimmy: I've got you a drink, where do you want it? Janis: Eh Janis: I'll come down Jimmy: leave all that enthusiasm up there, can't even handle how #extra that response were, my dear Janis: I'll be suitably gracious by the time I arrive, don't worry Jimmy: weren't about to lose any sleep Janis: sure, what's another fight at another party Janis: not counterintuitive at all Jimmy: I'm not gonna fight with you Jimmy: just come here Janis: Maybe I don't feel like not fighting Jimmy: I'm a dickhead, don't mean you've gotta be an' all Janis: you definitely don't get to own being a dickhead, tah very much Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you, alright? Janis: [comes to get her drink in response] Jimmy: [hugs her in response because she knows that's a thing he genuinely does lately not a fake thing like kissing her or something would be] Janis: [hugs back of course] Jimmy: [gets her to dance with him because what better way to pretend that there's nobody else here just you two] Janis: ['mates?' when you'd have to whisper that in his ear and it's low-key the only reason you did it 'cos any excuse to be unreasonably close] Jimmy: [whispers back 'best mates' but it's said in such a flirty manner obvs] Janis: [😏 but 😍 on the low 'cos we can pretend they fake thanks party people, holds her pinky out like promise] Jimmy: [does promise of course and then just holding her hand doing some of the massage stuff from earlier on it so once again she knows it's real but it looks just like they being saucy and fake] Janis: ['I wish we were still in your bed' when you can just say it 'cos it sounds right but y'all don't even know] Jimmy: ['we can go back to mine whenever you're ready' because they have community service together in the AM anyway so it's believable that she would just stay because such a goals couple who are together 24 7 clearly] Janis: ['good' but your face on the low is like yeah right/I wish 'cos Ian hates you] Jimmy: [when you read her mind so you cup that adorable little face in your hands and you're like 'my dad's nowt to worry about' because you genuinely don't give a fuck but luckily it also sounds very romeo and juliet fuck our parents vibes so #goals] Janis: ['I don't care if you don't, but are you sure?' when you can just say what you mean and have it fit, this is so useful lmao] Jimmy: ['I just wanna be with you' because she literally said it earlier and meant it so I have to because #same] Janis: [soz gonna make out with you] Jimmy: [not soz because clearly so into it] Janis: [blurred lines remix] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [so glad your plan backfired, Mia] Jimmy: [I hope you and Harry both see this cos fuck y'all] Janis: [she's always watching lmao] Jimmy: [enjoy their love bitch] Janis: [the levels of get a room they are at rn has never been higher] Jimmy: [god bless, love that for you especially because as far as everyone knows you literally did get a room earlier but you were just snooping lol] Janis: [just like they insatiable, which is true but not yet lol Jimmy: [you know nobody's ever been that into any of the flat whites, sucks to suck ladies] Janis: [when parties make you sad 'cos people being 😍] Jimmy: [the realest] Janis: [you two gonna have to tone it down 'fore you alienate them totally rn] Jimmy: [I'm trying to think what else they could do to annoy Mia/win the rest over within this party setting] Janis: [hmm maybe some kind of game moment or similar vibe where they can just be really cute about each other with their answers so the rest are like awh idk] Jimmy: [yeah drinking games are always real and they could do some cute teamwork too but also pick a flat white to team up with maybe so Mia will be fuming] Janis: [basically be up for a laugh 'cos Mia is NEVER and discourages it like no, that's lame etc] Jimmy: [exactly they'd be living their best lives, except 💀#2] Jimmy: [they gonna win you over too though girl cos nothing will annoy Mia more] Janis: [gotta get her nearest and dearest, like but gonna have to play the long game with that one] Jimmy: [when he's gonna end up having fun even though he hates everyone but Janis highkey] Janis: [the mood] Jimmy: [you deserve it boy after all that bullshit with Ian and the like] Janis: [community service in the AM baby] Jimmy: [at least they're not drunk af this time so they won't have to do it really hungover] Janis: [and it's gonna lowkey be fun we know anyway even if they don't yet] Jimmy: [you're gonna love it lads] Janis: [again, they have not thought your punishment through here and I'm about it] Jimmy: [how real is that though, oh adults] Janis: [at least Grace can tell Cali she's at his and they will be suitably fuming, get the parental hate rolling on both sides] Jimmy: [yeah we gotta] Janis: [like you don't know safer than what her actual plan was, 'scuse you] Jimmy: [Yeah Grace would be happy that she's there like thank god] Janis: [least you're not dead vibes] Jimmy: [or gone forever who knows where] Janis: [like tomorrow night is anyone's guess lads] Jimmy: [just stay with him always girl we know you wanna] Janis: [obvs but how long can you fake stay with someone hmm] Jimmy: [how long can you guys share a bed and nothing happens more like lol] Janis: [exactly dr phil, can't exactly be on his sofa can you] Jimmy: [I was thinking for tonight we could cockblock them by saying Bobby and Twix are in his bed asleep when they get back cos miss him #adorable so he wakes up when they come in and Jimmy has to go sleep with him in his room because we all know if they share a bed rn we won't be able to stop something real happening even if that's only a kiss or something] Janis: [I accept that, we can always do online messages then too so] Jimmy: [soz about the levels of frustration though lads] Janis: [we're just cockblocking 'til it's silly we all know it] Jimmy: [you've brought this on yourselves, just say how you really feel or do something undeniable when you're alone] Janis: [my boo say say it you cowards] Jimmy: [I do, I'm mad which makes no sense because fake dating is my fave and that ends it junie you silly goose] Janis: [we don't/won't push it 'til it makes no sense lol, but we can move it to a place of 'we can just be fuck buddies and carry on the fake' as if that's not even more of a headfuck guys] Jimmy: [god bless, that'll be fun and games so we simply must make that more of a thing than we did before] Janis: ['cos it's a way to admit some shit, like yeah, obvs this chemistry is real but still be like, we don't LIKE each other though] Jimmy: [a very them thing to do we all know it] Janis: [see 'let's be mates' baby steps] Jimmy: [we are sneaky gals and I'm about it] Janis: [still, not tonight sweaties] Jimmy: [we could maybe have something happen at the rave/festival whichever that we've still gotta do though] Janis: [that is a good idea, and maybe they invite the flat whites to that so they have their tent near each other whatever and it's another thing Mia would HATE] Jimmy: [yaaaaas] Janis: [hohaha its a plan, you probably can leave this party now though and skip] Jimmy: [going hard because your tent is next to theirs but then it's less and less about that we 👀 you, but yeah for now you can go lads and have your night not end at all like how you want because we're rude like that] Janis: [shameless, but Imma just say night 'cos see above lol] Janis: 🛏💤 Jimmy: chuck the 🐕 out if it does your head in Janis: she's alright Janis: passed out ages ago Jimmy: bit of a lightweight Janis: just my magic touch, like Jimmy: give her a massage an' all? Jimmy: know how to make a lad feel special you 💔 Janis: 💔 Janis: nah, if you'd settle for head pats my life would be easier but here we are Jimmy: I've never said I wouldn't Jimmy: be proper goals any road, they don't want a lad, they want a pet Jimmy: 🐸 or 🦎 Janis: 😏 Janis: well I'm with PETA on this one Janis: rather it was a lad than some totally defenseless creature, like Jimmy: must be pissed if you're admitting how 💪🏆 I am Janis: Hardly Janis: but every lad they ever get their hands on at least gets a few punches in themselves Janis: if the 😭💔 is anything to go by, even if you halved it to account for dramatics Jimmy: must be 💕 then Janis: Clearly Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what were it you said, if you ain't got nowt nice to say, don't emoji at me, dickhead Janis: you wouldn't complain if it were a 💘 Jimmy: so go on Janis: 🖤😎🥇 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: try harder Janis: those are your favourites, like Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: Alright? Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby asleep all over him in this tiny bed like an adorable sos] Janis: Aww Janis: crazy night here too, obvs Jimmy: if you had socks on you'd wake up without 'em Jimmy: hardened criminal that 🐕 Janis: Sounds like a dubious cover for some #kinkunlocked behaviour tbh Janis: but I'll take your word for it Janis: even if she looks like an 😇 Jimmy: might be one of hers but I've 👀 and 🖐 your feet and you're alright, tah Janis: When you broke 'em, you mean Janis: hm Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: it were your own fault Janis: You wanna go to bed on an argument then, alright Jimmy: you know I don't Janis: yeah Janis: feel a bit rude cussing you out when I know there's a kid like 😴 on your shoulder anyway Jimmy: you can always go through my shit if you're well mardy at me Jimmy: my diary's hidden proper Janis: 😏 Janis: wouldn't even be surprised if you had a diary Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you know I can't read or write, Jenna Janis: picture book then Janis: even artier Jimmy: 🥔 prints Jimmy: get me in a northern gallery that Janis: don't be pissing about with 🥔 Janis: sacrilege Jimmy: coal then Janis: long as you keep it off your face Janis: know what you're like Jimmy: Oi Janis: I should be oing you Jimmy: we're playing nice, you agreed Janis: Don't you think I'm being nice? Jimmy: Don't make me come in there Janis: Or what Jimmy: I'll sort you out, girl Jimmy: bed time or nah Janis: yeah right Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: keep going, see if I don't Janis: You've never sorted me out before Janis: no reason to be 🙀 that tonight is any different Jimmy: [cue him going in for the flirtiest but quietest playfight they've EVER had because I have to] Janis: [what a moment bye] Jimmy: [the TENSION I cannot] Janis: [we dying boys] Jimmy: [like what are you gonna do now boy just leave like it never happened or are you gonna try and stay? I'd love to know] Janis: [lmao please tell] Jimmy: [can we let him or is that too dangerous oh the dilemma] Janis: you have slept with each other before like that but is either of you that sleepy rn hmm] Jimmy: [we know they're not tired we 👀 you] Janis: [mhmm, I'm like bitch don't you ask him to stay either] Jimmy: [I'll make him go back, we must be strong] Janis: [okay hehe] Jimmy: [unless something did happen and then it makes community service awkward oh ho] Janis: [that's an idea] Jimmy: [like if one of them freaks out somehow how they do and we've done before in other situations idk] Janis: [yeah, or is shamelessly ignoring lowkey tomorrow like that never happened, either one of them could, like] Jimmy: [yeah because y'all ain't even drunk so you can't use the don't remember excuse] Janis: [we all know you remember and there was no pretense of having a phone nearby or whatever] Jimmy: [the question is how far are we gonna let them go and who's taking the plunge] Janis: [hmm, we can save all the way for later, I think he should 'cos blatantly egging him like the whole time they're 'fighting' it's not subtext] Jimmy: [I agree with that and he's not gonna back down because the whole challenge and 'you've never sorted me out before' comment so he's clearly gotta in all the ways Harry has never] Janis: [Exactly, we know what she was saying there and so do they] Jimmy: [when he makes you feel amazing and then leaves like a sexy 👻 because the flimsy excuse of hearing someone and thinking your brother is awake again or something] Janis: [who's ignoring who tomorrow or are we both, what's the vibe of it] Jimmy: [I feel like he should ignore her because he did it so how real but how shady] Janis: [I vibe, then she can be mad and initiate the awkward convo/argument like 'scuse me] Jimmy: [yeah because she probably didn't get chance to do much to him because he was on a #mission with a point to prove so she's probably thinking it's a mmfd to be continued kind of situation like IOU boy and then he's so rude] Janis: [that's a plan, will post this one now though]

[gronjon44]

Welp... here we go...

If you dont want spoilers then I recommend you skip this entire post because I do not respect this film at all to not talk about the shit that happens in this film.

⚠️AFTER THIS LINE ITS ALL SPOILERS⚠️

This films wants to be an emotional gut punch but it is so... I your face about it. Emotional beats are either predictable or just... they don't hit. And the ultimate sacrifice from Bhgs at the end while sad just doesn't hit anything. And the plot of "Oh the main villain manipulates the kid to go against his dad and the villain ultimately joins the rival team" is really predictable. And I know that in the end this is a film targeted to kids and thats fine. But this film felt like it was trying to be too hip and too aware (the entire joke about LeBron acting hip and the 'don't dab' comment is just not funny)

The jokes

The jokes in this film do not land for me, albeit 2 (the joke about Sylvestar grabbing Michael B Jordan instead of the actual Michael Jordan was ok and the fact Wiley Coyote was in Mad Max was really cool) ; most the jokes either fell flat or completely missed the mark (this film tried to be hip and modern with its humor and honestly it was more cringe than anything else.

Also idk if this was intentional or not, but can we stop making jokes about how companies are stealing our info and spying on us? We get it Zuckerberg is trash Facebook and other big companies are taking our personal info but seriously it does get old. Mitchell's vs the Machines was at least clever because it was about a big tech company abusing it's power. Space Jam: A New Legacy is about an A.I trying to make himself feel better cause he doesn't feel appreciated and is projecting his issues on a kid he cyberstalked for a whopping 3 minutes.

The Plot

The films Plot is predictable, short, and a around not engaging. The idea of bringing another pro basketball player to aid the Tunes in another wild game for their survival isn't the problem, it's the rest of the Plot that's the problem.

The first film had a simple enough Plot that worked really well (The Tunes have to win a basketball game against roided up aliens or they'll become Amusement Park attractions, and they need a bow retired player to hp them win) Its short and sweet and it works.

This film felt the need to overcomicate it by forcing a dramatic subplot into the fold which, can work. You can have a dramatic subplot while still being a Zany and fun film. But SJ:NL can't seem to decide which to focus on; it goes from zany and over the top one moment moment then gives you tonal whiplash when it jumps to the dramatic bits in the plot.

I genuinely think that this film would've benefited from focusing on the zaniness over the drama, since frankly that's always been the focus of the Looney Tunes

Loony Tunes: Back in Action and Space Jam 1 are two tonaly similar films but both have better comedy and each have their respective dramatic beats, though their both saved for the climax of the film.

LT:BIA and SJ1 both have they're own dramatic subplots (M.J makes the deal with Smackhammer to raise the stakes of the game and J.D has to save his father from the Chairman and his plans. The difference here is that these films, while adding a level of drama, don't let the drama overshadow what tnis film is actually about (the Looney Tunes)

SJ:NL let's the drama completely overshadow the actual Tunes and isn't really engaging (to me anyway)

Also I'd like to say that, while giving this film a video game feel was an interesting concept it just reminded me more of Pixels or The Emoni Movie (though this wasn't NEARLY as bad as the Emoji movie I'll say that)

That's something else about this film. It feels like one big advertisement for everything WB owns (much like how Emoji Movie was one big Smartphone ad) and while that isn't inherently a bad thing it can be a hinderence to the film as well (I wanted to watch the films that cameod in this film more than the actual film itself)

The Characters

Look this is the Tom and Jerry film again, we don't go to this film for LeBron and his fictional family (if some people do then that's fine) but most of us go to see the film for the Tunes and the cartoon asthetic, and there's plenty of that here. But I'd like to actually care about the human characters in this film frankly.

Let's just get this out of the way, LeBron is not a great actor. He tries his best yes but he is not a great actor in this film; he reminds me more of Vin Deisel when he acts (he has a voice yes but he doesn't act physically. It's like he's trying to have his voice match the film but his body isn't in tune with it.

Now I don't wanna hate on kid actors, they do what they can and they're kids. But listen this kid was not interesting at all, and id have rathered the film not include him (or very least make him more interesting other than the "Gosh Dad stop pushing your ways and beliefs onto me" archetype.

The Tunes are fine I have no beef with how they treated the Tunes (all for ONE detail)

The way thsi film treats the Tunes in this film bothers me on so many levels. "Send him to the Rejects" "Losers" The fact that they treat the Looney Tunes like they're some forgotten property is really unsettling to me. The Tunes have never been forgotten the notion that they ARE forgotten bothers me so much, regardless if it's a plot point for the film. The Looney Tunes are some of the most recognizable faces in ask of media, and I get this is supposed to be a "New School vs Old School" message like with the Father vs Son but my God I do not like how this protrays the Tunes.

Speaking of the rejects, let's talk about AL G Rythm.

My God this is the most uninteresting villain and his whole plan is so easy to spot from the start of the film. "Oh look at me, I have a bruised ego cause I feel unappreciated in my time and im gonna project my issues on this kid I cyberstalked while praying KING JAMES would bless me with his support." Holy shit my guy you have a bigger ego than Tony Stark and its more bruised than Bruce Wayne's back after Bane was finished. He is one of the most bland villains I've seen in awhile, and the Goon Squad is no better. The Goon Squad is nothing but cool designs and a refderence to more popular Basketball players (and yeah they're supposed to be cronies but at least make them cronies with personality; the Nerdlucks were funny, had personality, and were an integral part of the story (also the fact that they ACTUALLY HAD THE NERDLUCKS CAMEO in in film but they were rooting against the Tunes just... Ehhhhhhhhhh) And the Goon Squad was boring and didn't add anything say for AL G. stealing the kids algorithm to make his own team.

Also sidenote, them constantly calling him "King James" got really annoying really fast. Like we get you gave yourself that nickname, you're the current too NBA player rn and all that but you don't have to keep saying it my God.

Now what did I actually like about this film. Well quite a bit actually.

For starters, the animation was top notch and everything looked great. I thought the 2D models were a little odd at first (too shiny compared to the faded sleek of the original) but they grew on me. All the CGI models of the Tunes looked really great, say for Sam who just looked really weird to me (probably cause he loses his hat by the end and a CGI Yosemeti Sam without a hat just looks strange)

The Tunes also felt exactly how they should in a Space Jam film, Bugs especially. Yes Daffy was his usual comedic self and I like how they had him try and be the manager of the team instead of a player, and every other Tune was just as zany as usual; honestly of all the Tunes I'm genuinely impressed with how they treated Bugs (till the end)

Bugs was the most interesting to see in the film, wherein every character left Tune World except Bugs and he kinda became this Castaway parody (with his own makeshift Porky Pig dummy) and he was just really lonely and stayed true to the Looney Way and he just wants his family back. That entire subplot is the most interesting part of this film hands down; the only thing about Bugs's arc I didn't like was the end which was predictable, but i was still more invested in Bugs's arc than anyone else's.

Also when they showed the Tunes on the other WB worlds in the Warnerverse that's not the name ik but it's basically the Warnerverse the only Movie refferences that i thought were clever were Mad Max, Austin Powers, and Themyscira. And as much as it pains me to admit it the Rick and Morty Gag with Taz was probably the funniest of them, and I don't even like Rick and Morty anymore.

The Matrix was just eh, Yosemite Sam just didn't land, Game of Thrones was just not funny and I won't apologize. As far as the cameos/refferences in the end I'll say it again, I wanted to watch the movies and shows that cameod more than the film itself. I'm not gonna try to list them off but some highlights were seeing Gremlins, the Mask, every Tim Burton Batman villain/Adam West Batman, Thundercats, and Scooby Doo. Aside from that this was all just one big add for Warner Bros.

So I'm gonna try end this on a note that I know alot of people are gonna bring up or use to say shouldn't be brought up: Nostalgia.

Listen. This film has the same issue that alot of modern film reboots tend to have, which is the fact that it has to match the same hype as the film that came before it.

Now I'd like to say that this isn't gonna be a Power Point on reboots, God knows this is long enough as is, but the issue with alot of reboots is that they try to remake something that more often than not did the media justice the first time around. Robocop, Nightmare on Elm Street, Ghostbusters 2016, litterally every Disney L.A Remake. This isn't to say these films can't be good, or even surpass their predecessors. But more often than not they tend to miss the mark either just barely or drastically.

And here's the thing, this argument can also apply to sequel films that are following up an iconic film that for fhe most part is still very prominent in modern media.

Space Jam has, for better or for worse, remained one of the most iconic films every made, if not for its premise alone. And when they announced a sequel it was only inevitable that people compare it to the original because, let's face it, we want the new film to live up to the original.

We want this new shiny film to live up to the film we all knew growing up as kids and adults, seeing the Tunes on a basketball court for the first time back in the 90s. And frankly, this film did not do that for me.

This film, to me, wants to be what Space Jam already is. But it felt the need to try and thats the first step it failed; it wanted to be hip and aware and make loads of refferences to the original

This film has a similar issue to Ghostbusters:Answer the Call I think, where in it wants to stand on its own two feet, but jt cant help but constantly remind us of a much superior film. We know they've done this before you don't have to keep saying it "We need help with a basketball game Lola!" Been there! Done that!" "So you want me to help you win a high stakes basketball game? One that could very well decide both our fates? Hmmmmm where have I seen that before?"

This film is like that one kid in class who already proved he was right, and is still trying to prove he was right.

If you think this film is great and you enjoy it just as much as the original that's perfectly fine, I'm not gonna try to overshadow your opinions, I just want to share mine.

In the end, I'm gonna rate this film a solid 4/10 (and most of that 4 is the comedy and the animation and the Tunes themselves.) Can you watch this just for the Tunes? Absolutely. Can you like this film more than me? Also absolutely. Do I think this film would've been worth it if I'd have seen it in theaters? No not at all I'm glad I waited for HBO Max.

[randomaliha]

A, C, N, X

Thanks! :) 

A - ships that I currently like a lot.

I always have a bunch of ships I’m invested in to some degree (most sort of casual or in the background) but my main one right now is stucky so prepare yourself for a ramble, my friend. I’m a sucker for ships that span a long time frame because you get so much richness and development. So, Steve and Bucky meet as kids in 1930s Depression-era New York. They grow up together but get separated for the first time when Bucky gets drafted for the war. It’s a whole time period that’s really evocative, with heaps of scope for stories about discovering each other and ~feelings and trying to work jobs and live together and Bucky trying to find Steve a date but no one wants to date Steve but p.s. Bucky’s pretty much taking him on dates all the time soooo yeah. Then we get this second act where Steve has been transformed and Bucky has been captured and experimented on, so they’ve both changed – except for the way they feel about each other. They spend the rest of the war fighting together until Bucky is presumed killed (Steve couldn’t save him! Steve will never fail him like that again! Is what Steve says to himself every night I’m guessing!) and right after that Steve sacrifices himself and puts his plane into the ice. Ultimately, of course, the war was bigger than both of them. And that should have been the end of it, an amazing but tragic journey for those two kids from Brooklyn. But we get another act, another page, in which they find each other again and Steve breaks through Bucky’s 65 years of brainwashing pretty much by existing. Two bits I absolutely love in this third act: the first time they cross paths again since 1945 is in TWS, when Bucky/the soldier comes to kill Fury at Steve’s apartment. At that moment, ‘Its been a long, long time’ by Kitty Kallen plays on Steve’s record player, a romantic af song from 1945 about lovers reuniting after the end of the war. Never thought that you would be/Standing here so close to me… You’ll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you/Or just how empty they all seemed without you/So kiss me once then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again/It’s been a long, long time. Wow what a totally platonic bros reunion song. And second, when they’re fighting aboard the carrier and Bucky’s struggling with his programming, Steve says “finish it. Cos I’m with you, to the end of the line” which…. you know, he’s telling Bucky/the soldier to kill him because Steve won’t kill Bucky. Will not. Full stop. He’s with Bucky even if Bucky’s not really there anymore, even if being there for Bucky means dying. And the thing about it is, that’s a promise they made to each other. To be there til the end of the line. We see Bucky say it to Steve in a flashback, it’s how Bucky has always felt about Steve, a promise he’s made to Steve as much as to himself, to be there for Steve always, and on that carrier Steve is returning that love and that unwavering loyalty. And that promise is what finally gets through to Bucky and breaks decades of brainwashing. I MEAN. This devotion to each other is absolutely core to their characters. Those birds are in love. (If Infinity War kills one of them or separates them again I will be mad as hell, dishonour on all marvel’s (cash) cows.)

C - a ship I have never liked and probably never will

I feel like all my NOPE ships are in Star Wars. Rey/Kylo is the biggest nope in the galaxy and I hated their scenes in tlj. Actually, Kylo really reminds me of Anakin in the prequels, but worse. Kylo is that kid who got a chip on his shoulder when he was a teenager and has never moved past it, and now he’s a selfish tool who causes suffering and kills people because he got his feelings hurt and it makes him so angry but he’s just misunderstood and deep down he’s a nice guy if people would just do what he wants. In a high school AU this would be the character that would need to be on some kind of fbi watch list, and I hate that Star Wars writers can’t come up with a better characterisation when they’re trying to write a complex character who turns to the dark side. Things don’t go right for angry young white man; he kills everyone? That’s basically it? Some fans might point to the influence of Palpatine and Snoke as playing a role but there are plenty of characters in the SW universe who got dealt a shitty hand in life and got tempted by the dark side and didn’t go over. Basically Anakin wasn’t good enough for Padme or Obi-Wan (nooope nope nope) and Kylo isn’t anywhere near good enough for Rey or indeed anyone in the galaxy. 

N - 3 things you wish you saw more of in your fandom(s)

1. I just found a bunch of meta posts for Bucky/stucky that included timelines and costume research and meta and it was amazing and super exciting. So I guess more of that in all my fandoms but yeah, I love world-building, I love being able to fit a character into a setting and a world, and get more context on who they are, so discussion of that stuff is great and I find it really helps and inspires me as a fic writer.

2. drabbles on my dash. Can we bring back 100 word drabbles as a thing we post on tumblr? I tend to only read longer fics on ao3 but 100 word drabbles are perfect little mouthfuls for your dash, like a gifset. Also they are a damn art form and I love them.

3. Rare pairs maybe? (says every rare pair fan ever) 

X - a trope you are certain to love in any fandom

Misunderstandings that lead to mutual pining and loads of shivery tension and a big beautiful reveal. I WILL ALWAYS READ SUCH PERFECT GOODNESS.

Tagging anyone on my dash who wants to do this or send me an ask?

[luckykhuxguide]

Have you found a lot of resistance or ire pointed at you for encouraging people to play JP? I find that there's a good amount of people who insist JPUX is "easy mode" and I've even been called a shill for pointing out how different the two servers are in an effort to teach others how the NA playerbase isn't treated fairly. It's made me want to leave the NA experience entirely...

(*´◒`*) Hi Anon!

This really depends on the people you’re around. I’m going to put our replies under a read more (so click on the question) since I’ve a lot (I wrote way too much so I apologize for the wall) to say regarding this, and Lucky probably has some things to add as well.

I’ve been met with healthy skepticism, which is perfectly fine. After all, I AM biased. You shouldn’t just believe everything everyone says, and always think for yourself. 

I did try to convince my friend (IRL) to play JP KHUX, because she loved playing NA KHUX. At first she said no because she didn’t want to fall into KHUX hell like me, but after I told her how different JP KHUX and NA KHUX was treated, she did join! :> She said she enjoys JP KHUX a whole lot more than NA KHUX and stopped playing NA KHUX.

~ Lucky ★彡

We try to state hard facts in addition to our own experiences and there’s plenty of those. We’ve listed differences in play, treatment, jewels, bonuses, events and handling before. The reasons we list as PSA or when people ask for differences/reasons to migrate are to make people aware. After that, it’s up to them what they want to do with the information.

I’m guilting of urging NA KHUX players to play JP KHUX though. =w=;; When they come and rant to me on this blog, there is nothing I can do but tell them to play JP KHUX if they enjoy the game play but couldn’t handle the way NA KHUX were being treated. Honestly, I wouldn’t have much of a problem with playing NA KHUX if NA KHUX were treated the same way as JP KHUX. But all I can do is to advice them to change. Whether they take action or not is ultimately up to them. I’ve done all I can do urge them, but the choice is their’s to make.

~ Lucky ★彡

While it’s sweet of you to make them aware of the differences (and suggest they try JP KHUX), a lot of people have trouble with language barriers or straightup abandoning their account. Personal reasons also apply. This is completely understandable, and we do encourage to read up on the plot of KHUX through either the global version or youtube videos/translations if they try JP KHUX.

I’ve always found it a bit difficult to recommend KHUX JP, especially at first. I got better at reading Japanese through it, but I’m definitely among the select few of intl players who can read Japanese. The more feedback I got from happy migrated players, the more confident I got with recommending the JP server to others (using quotes and numbers to back my claims more in addition to the facts and my own experiences). Obviously I still put a disclaimer; part of my experience differs, since I don’t need to look things up. This makes me a faster player and enables me to enjoy the story. Heck, my own party members read either no Japanese at all, or picked up some keywords for when I’m not around.  And even they enjoy the game a ton. In both versions, being part of a good party can make such a difference…I’m trailing off.

Okay on my part, I’ve never understood the plot for KH games. I just know that my goal is to kill whatever I see really. There is too much in-between cut scenes that you forget why you’re doing it in the first place. So, the same happened for me with KHUX. I just kill whatever I see and complete missions. I didn’t REALLY care for the story because I’m so lost with the KH plot already and I couldn’t figure out why KHUX is so important to the KH plot aside from the keyblade war. (We’re going to be dead kids.)

~ Lucky ★彡

NA KHUX is the way it is, and probably won’t change much due to the amount of players still dishing hefty sums of money out. The resistance you’ve been seeing is part of that problem. Calling JP KHUX ‘easy mode’ is a new one to me, and makes me think that’s what they call it to make themselves feel better about it. So long they’re enjoying the game, that’s fine with me, though.

I can understand why NA KHUX players call JP KHUX easy mode, and they’re not wrong to call JP KHUX “easy mode”. Especially going from JP KHUX to NA KHUX, my JP KHUX account is GODLY compared to NA KHUX. The enemies I fight in JP KHUX die easily with a single guilted premium, yet I’m suffering in NA KHUX even using an entire deck. You do have to strategize differently in NA KHUX than you do in JP KHUX, such as giving good skills (i.e. SP+&Atk boost 3, or Lux+&Atk Boost 2) to guilted non-premiums, because chances for f2p to guilt premiums is rather impossible. 

And, TBH, because JP KHUX are so strong now, we can easily solo Raid Bosses even at level 99 (no joke guys, we can bring in like 5 million lux in one fight against a lvl 99 RB). It used to be more fun when the entire party coordinated together to kill a raid boss because we really needed to work together to defeat the raid boss and bring the raid boss to level 99. Someone needed to be a summoner and everyone else participated in killing the raid boss. Now, it is just us soloing the raid bosses. Yes, we need to work together as a party to rank well party wise, but it’s not the same... There is something fun and satisfying knowing your party members rely on each other to help each other out, and being too strong with the RBs took that aspect away.

Square KINDA brought back the “work together as a party” aspect by giving up 101 Dalmatian hell in JP KHUX, but it is only temporary. I do hope multi-player will allow us to work together again in a party. 

~ Lucky ★彡

I do not advertise JP KHUX actively. I recommend it casually when I see players struggling on global, or when they approach me about it.

I’ve seen JP KHUX players obnoxiously advertise (under SENA KHUX tweets, for example) that NA players should just join JP, that JP is better, that NA is being ridiculous. 

IDK, I DO THINK NA KHUX IS RIDICULOUS THOUGH. I mean the requirement to get a commemorative medal requires NA KHUX players to have them guilted?! LIKE SERIOUSLY? If the new premiums are guaranteed to come with 3 dots. FINE. So we need to make at most 10 draws to be qualified to get the premium and NA KHUX f2p players can do that. But asking us to get SEVEN COPIES of a premium so we can have it GUILTED by a CLOSE DEADLINE TO THE RELEASE DATE is ridiculous!!  No way can ANY f2p or c2p players can obtain these commemorative medals. Or if Square keeps the requirement in order to obtain the commemorative medals you need so and so premiums guilted, but no deadline, is okay too because f2p players can EVENTUALLY get the commemorative medal. But Square is expecting NA KHUX to have premiums guilted by such a close deadline to the release date is similar, if not the same, as the JP KHUX standard. While it is difficult for f2p JP KHUX players to obtain a commemorative medal, it is not impossible. Honestly though, they should’ve kept the requirement to obtain the commemorative medal as obtaining the premium by a deadline.

And don’t get me started on the lack of special VIP missions available every week and lack of guilt bonus events. IT WOULDN’T HURT TO GIVE US MORE GUILT BONUS CAMPAIGNS. JUST SAYIN’ SQUARE. GIVE US MORE GUILT BONUS CAMPAIGNS.

~ Lucky ★彡

To me, that’s JUST as annoying as NA players calling JP easy mode or calling players who migrate “traitors” or “weak”.

OH SNAP. I DIDN’T KNOW NA KHUX PLAYERS CALLED THOSE WHO SWITCH TO JP KHUX PLAYERS NAMES. I mean yeah, NA KHUX players would feel like they’re being betrayed, but it’s not like everyone is willing to have their wallets go on a diet for NA KHUX, or have access to the google survey to get free money and offer that as sacrifice to NA KHUX. 

~ Lucky ★彡

Nobody has the right to ruin another player’s experience. You do whatever leyts you have most fun. It’s fine to call SENA out for being unfair, but be specific, be factual, and be articulate. 

There’s NA players who will call you a shill for advertising JP KHUX. There’s NA players who will stick with NA regardless of what anyone says. There’s also JP players who feel overly sorry for NA players or will think highly of themselves for having made the switch to JP. There’s annoying/obnoxious players in both versions of the game, because we’re all just players looking for a fun experience. And players are humans, so there’s always going to be ones you don’t get along with. But there’s also those you’ll be able to befriend.

In the end though, it’s not your responsibility. If they’re having fun as is, or don’t feel like giving JP KHUX a shot, that’s their own decision. If it really starts causing you grief, remember it’s not your responsibility to persuade them or make them aware. In fact, if you’re actively persuading, I recommend you to not do so. It’s a lot of wasted energy, and if they resist, it’ll make their game experience less fun to be (constantly) reminded of the differences, too.

If they’re having fun, and you’re having fun on your own, then that’s perfectly fine the way it is. 

If they don’t want to try/play JP KHUX even after knowing the differences, there’s little anyone can do about it, and it’s their choice.

There’s a whole lot more I could say about this, but I’ll stop here. 

I don’t know if you just point it out, or if you’re actively persuading, or if you’re part of the group who’s actively advertising.

I don’t mind what you choose to do, that’s your responsibility too. 

But you did hint that the feedback you got impacted you negatively, which means you’ll want to rethink your actions– not because you have been wrong (or depending on how you went about it, maybe you approach was, I cannot say) but because your advice has been ignored or you’ve been called out for advertising.

( I’m aware that my phrasing may give you the wrong idea, so I’ll repeat: I’m not making assumptions about you. This is why I include multiple scenarios. I don’t know what type of person you are or how you tried to approach those players. You know who you are and how you approached them, so you know exactly how it went. You don’t owe me that explanation and I don’t need you do go into detail– you can figure out where to go from here. But again, my advice in a tldr: if it causes you so much grief and frustration, maybe it’s better to focus on having fun and being a bit more picky with who you try to help out. )

–Salt