#you get what you fucken deserve bitch

[jewishbarbies]

actually hilarious that the people screaming “we should build women up not tear them down!!” when you criticize their fave female celeb are also the first to fill up another female celeb’s comments trashing her in any way possible the second they get in the way of their idol

[brainddeadd]

smut

you've been teasing jisung all day. sending him flirty texts and photos that show just not quite enough to satisfy him. you sent him a moaning audio, one he knows he's never heard before, so you must have been touching yourself at that time. you called out his name in the audio, being so mean by sounding so pretty and needy.

you know he's been hard since the first flirty texts you sent him - he made the mistake of telling you, and you neglected to give him permission to touch himself.

he's due home any minute, and you're in his favourite lacy lingerie, waiting on the bed, legs spread, a vibrator pressed to your clit. you've already cum, and your legs are shaking. you know jisung will be whiny, but he'll thank you for it when he can just slide his hard cock into you and not have to wait so he can stretch you out.

normally, jisung loves to make out with your pussy, get you stretched and dripping for him, but you know you've been testing him just a little too much today and he won't have the patience.

you hear the front door shut and a few seconds later, your bedroom door is opening, just in time for you to cum from the vibrations on your clit, calling out for jisung as you do.

"fuckkkk," jisung's already pulling off his jeans, shirt, and shoes long gone. you can see the outline of his cock in his underwear through the tears in your eyes and your hips buck in anticipation.

"you've been such a bitch today." ok, that you didn't expect. you go to say something but he cuts you off.

"i've been so fucking hard all day, being so good for you, holding in my cum for you, and you make me cum before i can get my cock inside you?" he's pissed and you're confused until the words sink in to your brain.

"you.. you came from-"

"you crying out my name like you're in fucken heat the second i walk in the door? yes." he's free of his underwear and is standing over you, frowning down at you. "what am i going to do with you?"

"please seungie fuck me." your begging, the vibrator still buzzing on your clit and you can feel your cum dripping down your ass.

"do you deserve it?"

[blubushie]

I can't get over the reasoning mavis blocked and ended your friendship oml. Girlie was really being a drama queen over such a stupid thing, putting words in your mouth that you never even said in the first place and creating problems for herself when there weren't any. I still have no idea how she managed to take you telling her that she needs to put herself out there if she wants to toughen up and took it to mean that you are putting her down for being a woman??? when you were literally doing this exact opposite of that.

Yeah that was a constant with her. I devoted 6+ months to trying to help her and it was always her either outright refusing any of my advice while giving bullshit excuses for her refusals ("How do I be happy and grateful" "Volunteer at a soup kitchen" "I can't I don't like Mormons they're always so happy" iunno maybe it's cuz they're helping people?) or it was her only doing half of what I told her to do and then coming to bitch at me because my suggestion didn't work. Because she didn't actually do what I told her to do.

I'm the exact opposite of a bloke who's gonna tell someone they shouldn't do shit cuz they're a woman 😭 Fuck gender stereotypes/gender roles, do what you wanna do. I lean traditional but I'm not "women must be dependent on their husbands"/"women must remain weak and subservient to men"/"women must etc" traditional cuz there's nothing a person MUST be because of their gender or sex. That's all bullshit.

Peace and love on planet earth we're here for a good time not for a long time and everyone deserves to enjoy themselves and live their lives to the fullest. If that's a bloke who identifies as a bloke prancing about in a dress or doing ballet then good on him! If it's a chick leading a company, or building some muscle and working a hard labour job and being independent then good on her! Fucken—non-binary person on an oil rig! Good on them! I hope everyone is happy always and gets to experience all of the joys and mysteries and whimsy life has to offer!

Just don't get in my hair about it when I try to help you achieve your goals and it doesn't work out because you don't actually listen to what I'm telling you! Don't blame me for your own shortcomings! Twat

[alvaeris]

Internet Quotes

No more gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss

It’s time for genocide

I like people how I like my tea, in a bag, underwater

First of all, cringe, second of all, red flag

SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE EARTH SHATTERING PROSTATE ORGASM I JUST GAVE YOUR DAD

My skin is simply the spray paint god choose for me

Manipulate, Mansplain, Male Wife

Twinkie the kinky

Remember that all twink(ie)s deserve a cream filling

I used to be pan, but because of (insert reason here) I am now straighter than your left wall, I know, I live there

Didn’t like that answer, can you do a funnier one

They should also get you a bucket of water to get your partner wet

Send that bitch to god, same day delivery

Life is a journey do you really wanna end it one the pavement

Treat everyone like a serial killer who’s list you don’t wanna be on

Yes bathe the menace, they smell of rain, water, dirt, and the sins of his past. Bathe them they need it

Boot up, bitch

Why is it called boob sweat and not humidtitties

The same reason we all regret the name Worcestershire sauce

Mark my fucking worms

What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?

Listen up you one lifespan, three dimensional, five sensed skin puppets

Sorry for having great tits and correct opinions on everything as if it’s my fault

Ruin the lives of everyone around you and then die

That is the sound of childhood happening

Wear heelies to escape your feelies

The yassification of Christianity

That’s what 3 am water tastes like

Bite me as hard as you please, and make me see stars. I am yours-

Imagine a burger saying this

Me, as I force a dollar into the self-checkout machine: that’s right…good boy…vore president Washington

Stay fresh cheese bags

Honey is considered raw meat by the FDA

Actually I call it womanipulation. For feminism.

Gaslamp girlboss gatecrash or whatever

I’m learning to person from scratch okay?-

Pride and prejudice

TEENS WANT BEETLES NOT JESUS

The men are being sluts again, nature is healing

SACRÉ BLU MADEMOISELLE VAGINA HON HON HON TIDDIE CROISSANTS

TITS IS TITS

“Which do you prefer, pecs or tits?” Wtf, wtf, hello?? What are you saying to me rn??? Are you serious? Tits are tits. Love is love. Etc. don’t speak to me.

Violence is an art, your body, the louvre

It fucken WIMDY

I am the wind and I’ll rip your head off bitch

I just threw my newborn son into a blender

I am a pocket rocket of sass

I’m ga. Gey. Guay. Boys.

SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH

They were yassified ahead of their time

Forget the man and get something you can rely on, like a taco, or a milkshake

Women rights, women are equal, go to the back of the line

Apple fritter babies

They had their heads so far down when they walked out they were looking at china

You’re so boring you’d put Snorlax into a deeper sleep

I WOULDN’T REMEMBER THIS IF I WERE YOU

Alright you STD spreaders

No more manipulate, mansplain, malewife, it’s time for manslaughter

It tickles the autism in my brain

They beat Jesus with that

None pizza with left beef

Pop a wheelie into heaven

Once a man, now deemed a clown

No more diets, only riots

You really should come with a supply of cheese to match your vintage whine

You are not a clown, you’re the entire circus

There’s those who’ll ride into Hell with you, and those that will drag you back afterwards

The oldest white guy to ever white

Roses are red silent as a mouse your door was unlocked I’m inside your house

Weird hill to die on man, but at least your dead

Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

I’ll scrape- you can scrape…my wood

You will be boiled

We are just tiny vegetables in gods eternal soup

You have room temperature IQ

You sound like how dust tases

Okay but like…can you do that to my ass

Hammed burger :(

And what is the world if not God’s own personal game of Sims

Kinktober, No Nut November, and Destroy Dick December are consecutive, this says something about humans as a whole-

Hnghg…. soup

Take a long walk off a short pier

Mirrors don’t lie, and lucky for you they don’t laugh either

Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches without bitches

You have two brain cells and each of them are fighting for third place

If you ever do that again, I’ll make you forget what it’s like to eat solid food

I’m gonna shatter you like glass

I’m looking at someone who’s never felt the warmth of their father

Don’t do milk. Go to drugs. Drink school.

To get on your level I’d need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes

SHUT UP YOU’RE INBREAD

Even a worm will turn

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock cause Jill’s real name is Randy

Tip: spice up your panic attack with a harmonica

I mean, Batman couldn’t beat this information out of me but get it ig-

I’ll use my trusty frying pan, as a drying pan

The manager has been dead for 80 years oOoOoOoO next

“ArE yOu CaLlInG mE a LiAr???!?!?” Well I ain’t calling you a TRUTHER

People say we cannot live without love, I think oxygen is more important

Meditate, masturbate, manipulate

Bbg you are soup now!

They’ll be recovering pieces of your body for at least three months. You will be alive for at least two of them :).

Fuckerations

Hellon’t

Why do I have to get pretty for Jesus? I don’t like him like that!

Fatism

I’m gonna fuck your dad and give him a child he actually loves.

You don’t take a shit, the shit takes you

I have never once been submissive. One of the few things I can boast about. I have never even been submissive to a traffic signal.

I alone am the reason shampoo has instructions

I’m like Jesus I rest on Sundays

I’m gonna suck your eyeballs outta your skull

You hard boiled turtle slapper

We are in the timeline god abandoned

It’s hotter than a demon dick in a wool condom

If you stared into Medusa’s eyes she’d kill herself

Next person to talk is getting their nervous system braided

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it

He’s got a mouse in his trousers

Everybody mistake make

I fart in your direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

CURSE OF RA 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊

Thought I’d have some cosmic horror turns out I’m a cosmic whore

I grew this dick for you, you clod

The man who waits, masturbates

Punch me in the back of the frontal lobe until I’m out colder than Bill Cosby’s pong partner

It’s never a war crime the first time

Your life lacks whimsy and your ass is flat

I’d rather play dead at a necrophiliac convention

CURSE OF THE NILE 𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰

𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹

𓃞𓃙𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞

𓂺𓃂𓂿𓂺𓃃𓃂𓂛𓂏𓅱𓅥𓅩𓅦

𓅹𓅸𓅳𓅩𓅪𓄭𓄫𓄮𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦

𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽

𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣

𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗

𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹𓃞𓃙𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜

𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞𓂺𓃂𓂿𓂺𓃃𓃂

𓂛𓂏𓅱𓅥𓅩𓅦𓅹𓅸𓅳𓅩𓅪𓄭𓄫𓄮

𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁

𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅

𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿

𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹𓃞𓃙

𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞𓂺𓃂

It’s not a crack house its a crack home

_____ is like playing chess with a pigeon. You could be a grandmaster, they’re still going to shit on the board and strut away like they won.

We’ll see who’s sloshing soon!

Being on deaths door just means you got a new neighbor!

Guards! Take this creature to a scary room

Oh my god! Boobs! Hoo ha, love them!

Fun Fact: female Jesters were called “Joculatrix” & therefore male Jesters should be called “Joculator”!

:3

-🌀

what. the. actual fuck. okay firstly WHY ARE HALF OF THEM ABOUT BOOBS??? 😭😭😭😭 secondly which pit of hell did you dig these up from??? thirdly, wow. what is "bbg you are soup now" supposed to mean??? or, "hard boiled turtle slapper".

[autobot-ratchet]

Lost Light 19-21

Lost Light 19

omg I forgot that Swerve and Misfire do a dual recap at the beginning of this issue lmAO truly a match made in heaven. So to speak lmfAO

Brainstorm trying to get through to sparkeater-Perceptor...

and now the whole gang's here, thanks for the infodump fellas lmAO

hell yeah, good on Rodimus for not letting Getaway bait him into flying off the handle

“I don't care about Getaway. I care about you.” that's fucken RIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!! He's RIGHT and he should SAY IT

honestly Anode is so valid to be terrified of scraplets, my house is unfortunately dealing with a flea outbreak and it's fucking awful lmAO and scraplets are basically if fleas could eat your flesh so yeah, valid, fuck that noise

cannot wait for Cyclonus and Roddy to kill all three of these fools

Lost Light 20

gdjfdk Nickel saying “fuck the organics” and mashing go on the experimental medicine button

Rodimus really said “Even if Cyberutopia had been real, you'll always be cringe” to Getaway and he's right

I still love that the scraplets from the holiday special are not only relevant once again but also they remember and love Whirl

it's also still unbelievably funny how quick Cyclonus kills Star Saber. “I want this to last,” he says, fucking LOL get bisected idiot

I will always be grateful that Rodimus got to call Getaway a son of a bitch, LOVE that Roddy got to bypass the censors just this once, he deserves it

“I used to think I was special! But I'm not, am I? I'm not anything, I'm just... I'm just an M.T.O. with ideas above his station.” worlds smallest violin.mp3

“He really thought we were about to kill him.” “Weren't you?” weren't YOU??? both of y'all got beef and want his ass dead, what's this “you” business this is a "we" situation lmAO

there's my boy, there's my boy with his proper colors, doing the right thing, not letting Getaway be right about him, I'm still so fuckign proud :') that's my BOY

“I'm not like him.” THAT'S FUCKING RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT HRAGHFDGHSH HOOTS AND HOLLERS AND GENERALLY MAKES A SPECTACLE OF MYSELF

so Cyclonus knows what tumblr is but he doesn't know what fan fiction is, noted lmAO he went on tumblr one time, saw a single shitpost, and decided fuck this whole website and you know what he's right

get skeletonized, idiot. Like genuinely though, after all the people he fed to these exact scraplets, getting devoured by them after they tricked him into thinking they were Primus come to save him is absolutely some form of divine justice lmAO especially after immediately squandering the second chance Rodimus gave him

ooh here we go, it's endgame time

Lost Light 21

aww I'm glad (most of) the mutineers are okay again, they didn't know all this fuck shit would happen, they didn't sign up for it, they just wanted Megatron off their ship

oh it is good to be back on the Lost Light lmfAO I missed my house

Anode and Swerve just on the ground eating dirt

“This has to unfold as foreseen.” interesting choice of words. I figured the Grand Architect was the driving force behind this plot because he made the plot himself, but this makes it sound like he is also receiving future visions much like Drift is. I'll be real I do not remember much of anything about how and why exactly this final altercation comes to pass lmAO I just remember the end result and the big reveals so I'm really trying to pay attention this time around

hell yeah Roddy, fuck their stupid made up rules, we don't gotta adhere to nothing

I'll admit I feel next to nothing about Sunder but it is very funny how he's gone from genuinely terrifying boogeyman to just some fuckin weirdo now that he can't do mnemosurgery anymore

so the Black Block Consortia is actually made up of mechs disguised as organics, meaning that Nickel's racism toward organics is completely invalidated lmfAO granted Froid isn't saying WHEN the Grand Architect took over the Black Block Consortia so maybe they killed all of Nickel's people before that. Fingers crossed that that's not the case because I think it would be really funny for her to get owned lmAO

oh so the Grand Architect physically WENT to the future instead of simply having visions about it

“In preparing to confront the future, you made it come to pass!” fuckin. Prepare, confront, repel, I get it lmfAO

lol get chainsawed idiot. Honestly I am so happy to see Pharma, even if it isn't really Pharma

I'm also happy to see Megatron again, now the whole gang truly IS here

[mursakisstuff]

"Do you condemn hamas?"

Nah bitch I do not

Why the fuck would I condemn the right of people to fight against oppression with whatever means they got!

Most of these hamas fighters were children who survived the horrors of oppression

Those are the rock kids who stood up to tanks with just some rocks in their hands

Calling people who fight for the right to get their own homes back terrorists is such a white thing to say especially when it was said about my people more than once (and every other country that was once occupied by whities)

Cause how dare these barbaric people defend their land against us the white saviors, the superior race

Same rhetoric shit was used on countries occupied by the British, the French, etc, they called the people fighting for their freedom terrorists, barbaric animals who don't deserve to live

So get off your fucken high horse, and educate yourself instead of being ignorant piece of shits who parrot whatever their white media tell them

It is wild to try and demonize people who ran out of options to peacefully protest this injustice and have no other way than to fight fire by fire

"They are terrorizing civilians"

Settlers are NOT civilians!!

They live in stolen land, stolen homes, the rightful owners were kicked out of their homes so Karen from NY can have her "right to return" which is their way to say "hey come to this country where you can kick whomever you want from their home and call it yours and no one will stop you in fact we will cheer on you"

If you willingly came to Palestine knowing very well how you will get a house and who will pay the price then you are not a civilian nor innocent

Those people cheer on seeing Palestinians getting butchered they will save seats and watch it like it's a movie, it's one source of their entertainment, seeing Palestinians being dragged out of their homes

They will spit on Muslims on Fridays during prayer and Christians on Sundays, they will attack any Jewish who speaks against their atrocities

So excuse me if I don't have any sympathy for people who dance while people are being butchered

Cause no person with conscience would ever agree to live in a stolen land, how do you sleep at night?

(this is not for Americans, you already live in a stolen land so sit your ass down)

Imagine this, you are living in your house since the day you were born, it's your family house, generations had lived here, then one day a stranger came and said to you "this is my house now you need to leave" and this stranger is not alone they brought their old neighbors who felt guilty because they wronged said stranger so now they will do anything to earn their forgiveness even if it means dragging you and your whole family out of your own house and don't you dare to argue with them about your right you don't have any and you can't fight for your right to get it back cause that would make you a criminal, such a barbaric animal who is frightening this innocent stranger how could you be so cruel, why don't you just give up and go live with one of your neighbors or cousins they have plenty of rooms don't be such a nuisance ugh unbelievable

"why don't they just go live in other countries? Why the countries neighboring them won't open their borders?"

It is their home!! Why would they leave their homeland?

And neighboring countries know exactly what would happen if they took them in, it would be another nakba!! There will be no Gaza to come back to! One thing you never do is trust any word Israel say, they never keep their word and they lie

And Palestinians would rather die than go through another nakba Never Again

The sense of belonging to your land, it's not just a place where you live, it's part of who you're, your heritage, your own being

(Again not for Americans you won't get what that mean, not native Americans tho ILY)

"They beheaded infants"

They did Not

"They raped women"

They did not

"They took hostages"

Yes they did, but they didn't torture them, strip them down and humiliated them like the Israeli ones are doing and they are not even hiding it they are flaunting it on their media "look at the animals we caught"

Meanwhile the ones who were let go by hamas said they treated them well

The woman who the media said was raped and killed? Is fine and was treated in a gazan hospital, her own mother said that, later the woman herself talked about how they treated her, her clothes? That's how she was wearing and they gave her clothes and no one touched her

The burned infant? The beheaded infants? The first is AI and cheap one at that and the other is a complete lie that they themselves denied cause the lie was getting bigger, the reporter who first said that came out again and say how she was mistaken

But you what is not a lie?

More the 500 Palestinian children being killed in the hospital in just one day

The infants being killed, bombed, shredded to pieces everyday but none of you fuckers is ready to hear that, they are not your white blue eyed blonde haired type of people so why would you even care

A man carrying pieces of his kid in a plastic bag

A man carrying a beheaded infant

The 4 siblings who were killed yesterday, just one month old

The woman carrying the body of her baby boy while the doctor is trying to save her baby girl only to announce her dead too

The sweet angel they found hiding in the rubble afraid to even breath or make a sound

And many many others

You got to be a vile piece of shit to even try and defend something like that

Israel posting daily on their socmed all types of dehumanizing ways to describe Palestinians, calling them animals, children of darkness, barbaric terrorists, anything and everything but never humans, never people

"It's jew vs Muslim"

Judaism ≠ Zionism

Anti Israel ≠ anti semitism

Zionism = Nazism

Zionists hate Muslims

Zionists hate Christians

Zionists hate Jewish people who are not Zionists

"why can't they live together in peace"

Oh they did, the three religions were doing just fine tell the whites came and ruined it for everyone

Now what we have is one side trying to stay alive and avoid being annihilated while the other is uh bitching they can't find gluten free flour

One side is trying to survive a GENOCIDE while the other is the one commiting it

"The right to return"

What a fucken joke, return to what exactly when most of you have dual citizenship cause surprise surprise you're a just a whitie from Europe or America, indigenous to the land my ass

Psst there's a reason why holocaust survivors are pro Palestine cause they have seen this shit before they lived it and survived only to see their own people doing the same thing to others

FYI black Jewish doesn't have the "right to return"

Why don't you read about what they did to Ethiopian women?

Read about the different ways you're treated in Israel according to what type of Jewish you are

"I can't be with Palestinians they kill people like me"

Queer Palestinians exist!!

Or you only support your white queers

And the whole Israel approve of gays? Is just a propaganda, a fucken lie

Their government is the far right the og conservatives so yeah good luck with that

Zionists lie, that's a fact

Every word coming out of Israeli mouth is either a lie or something out of a nazi propaganda (look at their media they are recycling Nazi media it's crazy) or straight up Mein kampf quote

Don't be an ignorant person parroting what the media is feeding you, look up history, listen to people who actually lived it and still living it

The fact that people all around the world are marching the streets for Palestine should be enough to know which side is the right side

Don't believe anything just because your favorite celebrity said so, stop with the dickriding and use that empty brain of yours, don't be a prejudiced asshole!

[stealthnoodle]

Ice Pond Thou Art, to Ice Pond Returneth: Let's Finish(?) Tears of the Kingdom

We're finishing the plot, anyway. All of the spoilers!

Sidequest clean-up time! I am getting up to such antics

Monster decorations: check

Freezing my tits off in the desert while holding up a giant mirror: check

House? check!

I'm sorry but I am literally 12 years old right now:

I wasn't going to chase after dragon!Zelda just yet but she appeared literally right in front of me so I figured I might as well hitch a ride on her and make Link sad.

Da-da-da-daaaa in a minor key:

For some reason I'd been assuming I couldn't dye my sexy thunder shawl but nope! What lovely news for me and fashion aficionados everywhere!

Puzzling with the Boner Squad

I'M STILL 12

A lot of people just come out around me! It's a gift.

Sure do!

Truly, no one can resist my charms.

Bitch I DELVED:

I know I said collecting all the bubbul gems would be my Cruella de Vil origin story, so call me Emma Stone because I have lost my entire goddamn mind. Fewer than 20 remain and Koltin is no longer offering me hints for some reason? Whatever, I'm not doing it for him anymore. I'm doing it for ME.

I have looked up a map of caves and I WILL spelunk each one, mark my words

Oh right we got some caves in the GODDAMN SKY, WHERE CAVES DON'T BELONG

I'm fine I'm fine

One more and the eye strain ends. Squinting from the map on my laptop to the in-game map on my TV. Oho, Death Mountain, I see you now!

FUCKEN GOT EM

Shine on, you crazy diamond bubbul gem. Maybe someday I'll smack you around for rupees. Until then, I will think of you and your completionist nightmare sidequest every time I glide through the air with my fancy new paraglider pattern.

Okay I can finish the plot now

I am doing this final stretch of mini-dungeon the way the goddess intended: by throwing down my traveler's medallion and popping back for more sundelion dishes before getting back to it.

At long last I have killed a lionel, and I started with a gloom lionel because why not. Bitch was in my way.

Me when the sun rises before 7:00am:

Let's see how many Ganon phases we get! Dueling Ganon. Big Hair Boner Squad Ganon. Big Hair One-on-One Ganon. Ganon Become Dragon.

Why does everyone but Link get to scarf down a tasty magatama treat? UNFAIR

At least I look good thrashing around between Ganon's giant dragon teeth:

Took me a second to realize what I was meant to be doing but this was a pleasantly cinematic fight phase with lots of catching little rides on Zelda's big fuzzy dragon head.

Game removed my good hat >:( but also removed my shirt :) so I feel like we're half on the same page.

Guess we're not getting an ending where Link joins Zelda on an eternal draconic frolic, which on the one hand, yes, my girl deserves a happy ending, but on the other, "dragon" is a whole new gender spectrum Link should get to explore.

Game ALSO removed my cool arm. :< Now how am I gonna remodel my house?

Grabbing Zelda as she falls would be a lot easier with Ultrahand, just sayin

At this point, is Zelda, like Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide, older than the universe itself? My girl's been through it

My robot girlfriend is moving on to robot girlfriend heaven. This too is yuri.

And I am moving on to fucking around endlessly, but first, there's only one way I can end this, right?

Back to the ice pond, baby. I made myself a little blue cultist outfit and everything:

That's all, folks!

[creepykuroneko]

Really hot fucken take, if you're going to act like a stupid bitch, then you deserve whatever bad things happen to you.

When you do everything within your power to ensure bad things happen, you don't get to cry about why do bad things only happen to you. You are not the victim. You reap what you sow.

[singer167]

On July 10 2024, I saw your fucken ugly face! You hurt me I used to think you took away my vulnerability but you fucken didn’t. You took away the one thing I wanted a baby. You used this and my vulnerability to your advantage to satisfy your selfish needs. I hope when I see your ugly face I have the power to say this all to you. You deserve to hear it. Now I’m dating a loving and respectful man who’s twice the man that you’ll ever going to be! I’m glad I dumped your sorry ass! Even though I wanted a baby I knew you wouldn’t be great dad. You’re a terrible father all you did was yell at your own daughter so how did I expect you’ll treat my son or daughter if I kept the baby. You’re a terrible person. I will never forgive what you did. I will share my story hoping that women won’t date men like you. A women deserves to be treated respectfully same as anyone. You lost badly in that department. You made me stronger, because I’m a fighter you don’t get to have that power over me. Yes you left me traumatized! I will not let you dramatize it after what you did I won’t let you or let it get to me when you talk shit behind my back. I can tell others way worse. I truly hope I see you agian so I can tell you to yourself go to hell hopefully your in it! I hope you are doing whatever you can to make amends but I know you aren’t. You will always be the same monster. So fuck you! I can say I hope you’ve changed but I know you haven’t. So your time is up! It’s time for you to lay low so I don’t have to see your face. It’s time for me to tell other women not to date you. It’s time for you to beg and plead for forgiveness but you won’t get that from me. It’s time for you to truly mean what you say and apologize. It’s time for you to truly own up to what you did. It’s time. Years have gone by while you’re out in the world while I’m fixing the mess you made. It’s not fair! I’m still fixing the mess you made! The scars I have from what you did unfortunately tell that part of my story. I will keep telling it. I hate you for what you did! If you’re telling people I’m a bitch I can most certainly call you a far worse names. If you’re telling people I ruined your life well you did it to you own damn fucking self. You hurt people,you control people and that’s not what you do in a relationship. I am done with you asshole! But I’m still fixing the mess you made. You haven’t ruined my life but you’re an asshole. A selfish ass who doesn’t deserve the respect and love I gave to you while we were dating. Maybe you need to read a self help book on boundaries and take a class and study carefully about women. Because you being a sex monster and tell me you were caught in the moment just doesn’t cut it. I hope you live a sad miserable life.

[bootlegmozart]

ok but do you realize how hard it is to do anything when you have depression? I don't think you realize how hard it is to exist when you have depression.

Get on fucken meds. You gotta force yourself to make those calls. I know it's nearly impossible, but you gotta do it. Life gets so much easier once you're on the right medication cocktail. You'll be able to get out of bed, brush your teeth, eat, clean, do dishes, make future appointments, GET to those appointments, even enjoy things again.

Please, if you're looking for a sign, this is it. Make the call to your psychologist or even check into your local hospital. Do it right the fuck now. You need it. You're not faking this. You're sick. You need help. Let them help you. It's ok to ask for help. You're allowed help. You can do this. Make the one phone call. It's gonna suck and be a slog, but you can do this. You struggle every single day already. It won't be any worse than what your own brain throws at you daily.

I do worry about POC doing this, so if you are a POC, please please please only do this if you know you can trust your medical facilities. I know there's a lot of bad shit going on in hospitals, so please ask around and look at reviews from other black and brown people. I was lucky with mine in northern Ohio, but your state might differ. The closer to a city, generally, the better.

Stay safe and GET ON FUCKING MEDS DAMMIT.

YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, BITCH.

[sevlawless]

also i just remembered another reason i made arabella was bc i wanted to make a detective for twc to ... romance .... ad*m 🤮 and thank god that didn't even work bc i can't imagine her putting up with all that AND i can't imagine her not being with morgan <3 LMFAO

Lmaoo, speaking of twc I would love to know your thoughts on the characters of twc including the non ros and ur mcs. Lemme just say one thing I've never hated a fictional character more than Rebecca. She's one of the most annoying characters for me that I have encountered and that's a lot saying from me bcs I am usually quite indifferent or tolerant of most characters. /lh 😭😭

not u wanting me to revert back to twc brainrot LMFAO but i will answer this just for you <3

under the cut because i talked too much PER USUAL

my mc's and their li's:

felicity and nate - i love them when i don't think abt book 3 🤩 LMFAOKSKSNSNSKS but anyway felicity is rlly my precious sweet baby who wants to be with nate SO BAD but she is so hesitant and scared bc of past experiences and i loved how that was going before book 3 ... after book 3.... i can't think abt it without getting upset KSKSJDBD

arabella and morgan - MY TWO BADDIES HAVE U EVER SEEN A HOTTER COUPLE METHINKS NOT! but arabella is just along for the ride what are feelings? she doesn't know she's just a very in the moment girlie but is slowly realizing that she likes morgan more than she thought she did... it's so funny when i was playing twc bc they both don't realize how in deep they are like dumb gay bitches who can't talk abt their feelings bc they don't KNOW what these feelings are >>>

violet and felix - they are so cutesy i love them sm 🥺 violet is my super smart science girlie love her and her purple hair tremendously .. she's definitely the most sane out of all my detectives LMFAO and adores felix they're just a lot alike in their humor and are just PERFECT for each other !

alyssa and adam - now . LMFAO this is where it gets so unserious because in all honesty i decided i wanted to try and make a bimbo detective and have her romance adam bc can u imagine the hilarity of adam not finding love for 900 years and when he does it's with the dumbest bitch alive KSKSJDBDDKD it writes itself! but as much as it pains me to say this i do like them together even if they are the hardest game of siblings or dating ever LMFAO

non-li's:

tina - I WORSHIP HER IF TINA HAS NO FANS I AM NO LONGER ON THIS EARTH ETC. she means the WORLD to me and i wish she was a li SO BAD

bobby - i hate him detest him loathe him even but i can NOT deny the deliciousness of the ex!bobby path it is like a brother to me LMFAO it's so angsty and u already know it makes me so sick thinking abt it

douglas - my son i want better for him and i wish that hag gave him a better plot line because he deserves way better than whatever tf she did to him in book 3 😭

verda - LOVE HIM DEARLY although he's never any of my mc's besties bc i love tina too much LMFAO and bc he freaks tf out abt the supernatural and i don't feel like dealing with that!

rebecca - the bane of my mfing existence i am right there with you i am first and foremost a rebecca HATER and she should be rotting in hell !!!! rook should have lived instead idc <3 she is so fucken annoying even typing this out my eye is twitching thinking abt her bitchass LMFAOKSKSNSBDNJS

[brainddeadd]

BRAINDEAD REVIEWS

THE WALKING DEAD: Season 5

Overall thoughts

They’ve been on the run and fighting for their lives for so long, they’ve forgotten how to exist peacefully and without fear - without the suspicion and without feeling like everyone and everything is out to get them 

S5, ep 1

‘Then’ THEN WHAT 

BEFORE THE WORLD WENT TO SHIT ???

WHOS SCREAMING 

Were they forced into being pieces of shit at Terminus ????

‘Now’ ok 

They gassed them ?!?!?!?!

THEY GOT THE KID FROM THE HOUSE IN SEASON 4 

They gonna chop them in half or something ?????

THEY SLIT THE KIDS THROAT

IMAGINE SURVIVING A FUCKING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE JUST TO HAVE SOME DICK SLIT YOUR THROAT 

And now the place is being blown up

Jesus christ 

CAROL NO

TURN AROUND 

“Bitch looked like a weapon with a weapon.” You’re correct but don’t you dare call her a bitch 

Carol not believing a word that dick says - queen shit 

“Horrible shit just stacks up..” You are the horrible shit man 

ITS CAROL BLOWING THE PLACE UP 

HELL YEAH 

Carol I love you 

On fire zombies.. well shit 

Rick what a man 

WHAT 

THE 

FUCK

ARE 

THESE 

PEOPLE 

DOING 

JESUS 

CHRIST 

The shit from all the people they’ve killed - the teddies from children 

LEAVE THE BABY OUT OF IT FUCKER 

Eugene is full of shit 

100% full of shit 

CAROL AND DARYL HUG 

YES

REUNITED AT LAST 

HIS CRYING AND PUTTING HIS FACE ON HER SHOULDER 

OJSDNFJDENFKDS

WNDFJKDN

DCJNWRIJVNAEUIVRSKVWAPIREJNDV

REUNITED

YES

That’s quite a group they’ve got 

Who the fuck took over terminus tho???

“You’re either the butcher or the cattle.” Yeah but y’all chose the wrong cattle this time 

S5, ep 2

“Will you have us?” Dude you’re her family 

Daryl just.. being there for Carol, knowing what she needs, accepting that she doesn’t wanna talk about it 

WHAT WAS THAT

WHO WAS THAT 

“We surrender.” He’s so funny man 🤣🤣🤣

Not Daryl being confused that the Pastor is puking after seeing them kill walkers like pookie not everyone is like you 

Gabriel - I don’t trust him

The loyalty to Rick is amazing 

Gabriel is too scared to not be hiding something 

Bob, this is the world now. It’s not gonna get better. Eugene is full of shit. 

DROPPING THE WATER AS HE’S ASKING IF SHE WANTS HIM TO CARRY ONE OF HERS 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 HER LIL “hmm no” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that was 100% a blooper they left in 

“It was a stack of boxes.. and a mop.. and I tripped.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

‘YOU’LL BURN FOR THIS’ well fuck 

Where is Bob going 

Tara thank you for telling Maggie the truth 

Oh damn Rick ok slay 

THE CAR THAT TOOK BETH 

Who the fuck

What the fuck

Its the Terminus fucks 

EATING PEOPLE 

PARDON

OH MY GOD

THEYVE TAKEN HIS LEG

OH MY GOD

“If it makes you feel any better, you taste much better than we thought you would.” HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER 

S5, ep 3

I’m still reeling from the fact that they’re cannibals 

“You join us or feed us.” That’s not much of a choice buddy 

Gareth wanting Carol - gonna have to go through Daryl and me first buddy boy 

Bob losing his shit laughing because they’ve just eaten him when he’s been bitten - karma 

There’s the ‘A’ again - what the fuck does that mean 

I get Abraham wanting to leave but come on man, Eugenes full of shit 

Gareth is a fucker 

HE SHOT OFF HIS FINGER HELL YEAH 

They got what they deserve 

MAGGIE AND GLENN LEAVING NO

DARYL

Where’s Carol?

Who ?????

S5, ep 4

Beth ?!?!? 

In a hospital ?!?!?!

Police ?!?!?!?

“So you owe us.” FUCK NO

WHAT 

THE 

ACTUAL 

FUCK

THE BODY DOWN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT 

Ok yeah I kinda skipped the rest cause I don’t really like Beth - but ik wack shit happens to her 

S5, ep 5

Eugene is so full of shit holy fuck 

Who the fuck is beating the shit out of someone ???? Pls don’t let it be Rick 

ABRAHAM - flashback ??? Yep 

“Really need some ass first.” Why would you.. don’t.. no yuck.. ugh men 

FUCK EUGENE 

He put crushed glass in fuel line 

Oh god what was the fire truck keeping locked away 

Yo what the fuck is going on in Abrahams past 

He is Insane 

“I’m not a scientist!” THE FUCK YOU MEAN BOY

OH 

I 

FUCKEN 

KNEW 

IT

EUGENES A PIECE OF SHIT 

Fuck Eugene 

S5, ep 6

They really want Beth back 

A woman’s and children’s shelter that Carol went to 

Daryl stopping her from killing the walkers of people she probably knew - doing it for her and burning them 

Whos following my people around 

“Looks like a dog sat in paint and wiped its ass all over the place.” 🤣🤣🤣

I love the way Daryl says ‘stop’ when someone’s (Carol’s) saying funny shit and he doesn’t wanna laugh 

“You don’t know me.” “Yep. You keep telling yourself that.”

Is that the dude from the hospital?? The one that tried to help Beth escape ??

Daryl taking a child abuse survivor book, I love him 

THE VAN

ON THE BRIDGE 

SHIT 

“It’s like you were a kid. Now you’re a man.” 

“We ain’t ashes.”

“I already helped you once. It ain’t happening again.” Damn ok 

THEY JUST RAN OVER CAROL 

SO NOW THEY’VE GOT BETH AND CAROL 

OH THEYRE FUCKED 

S5, ep 7

I still don’t trust the pastor man 

Maggie pulling a gun on Abraham when he threatens Rosita slayyyy

Fuck Eugene 

Fuck the guys in the hospital - those cops are shit 

The walkers on the ground that’s a lot in the burnt area 

Don’t hurt Daryl fuck 

Handful of Dixon ass - mood 

DON’T TRY AND FEED DARYL TO A WALKER BITCH 

USING A WALKERS HEAD AS A WEAPON KFNJRNFOO YUCK 

What is the pastor man doing??

Beth being sneaky is not what I thought I’d ever see 

Fucken pastor man 

Why the fuck would you trust the cop you just kidnapped ?!?!? Are you stooopidddddd

S5, ep 8

RICK HITTING HIM WITH A CAR 

I mean.. at least he didn’t let the walkers get him

Maggie and Glenn are back finally

Go get Beth

Beth killing that dickhead cop

Don’t fucken ask for the kid - let him go 

Daryl and Rick squaring up for Noah 

BETH STABBED THE COP

BETH GOT SHOT IN THE HEAD BY THE COP

DARYL KILLING THE COP - shit he’s pissed 

DARYL CRYING

Daryl carrying Beth out and Maggie falling to her knees 

Holy shit 

That.. fuck ok

S5, ep 9

Noah’s family 

Finding his mother like that 

OH MY GOD 

TYRESE 

NO 

GETTING BIT BY NOAHS SIBLING 

Why is Tyrese SEEING DEAD PEOPLE 

Cutting off his arm like that 

Holy shit 

Who the fuck decapitated those walkers???

NO TYRESE NO

S5, ep 10

Daryl don’t eat the worm

Please don’t eat the worm

Oh for fucks sake

He ate the worm 

Y’all can’t die like this cmon 

How they keeping the baby alive ?!?!?

Carol telling Daryl to feel it and then kissing his forehead in what is probably one of the only moments of kindness and gentleness he’s ever experienced is WAY too much for me to handle 

THE WOMAN TIED UP IN THE BOOT OF THE CAR AND LEFT TO DIE 

The feral dogs - good lord what are they going to do 

SASHA KILLED THE DOGS 

THEY EAT THE DOGS 

I GET IT BUT HOLY EW 

Daryl putting the cigarette out on his skin fuck

CRYING NO 

The water being left for them - who the fuck ??

GLENNS SMILE AT THE RAIN !!!!!!!!!!

Carl covering the baby with his hat so she doesn’t get too wet 

STORM 

Bby Carl sleeping finally 

“We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead.” “We ain’t them.”

OH THATS A LOT OF WALKERS 

He cleaned the music box for Maggie 🥹🥹🥹

HOLY FUCK 

THAT WAS A BIG ASS STORM 

Aaron ??

How does he know Rick ?!?!?!

S5, ep 11

Daryl going absolutely insane when Aaron is brought in 

“Audition for membership” the fuck 

AYO RICK 

“Long enough to see that despite a lack of food and water, you never turned on each other.” They’re family dude 

“You can trust me.” They’re running a bit low on trust at the moment buddy 

Driving through the walkers like that is wild 

Why so freaked out over a flare gun ???

Alexandria 

Eric 

S5, ep 12

“We brought dinner.” 🤣🤣🤣 

Don’t mind them, they haven’t been house trained yet 

Deanna and Reg 

The beard really makes Rick look feral 

“I’ve killed people.” Yeah how many now?? 

“Sounds like I’d wanna be part of your family.” me too lady, me too 

“I want you to help us survive.”

THATS SO MANY GUNS

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Carol struggling 

OK WHYD HE SHAVE IT OFF COMPLETELY 

Jessie - Ron & Sam

“I won’t bite.” He might 

“The boy and the baby, they deserve a roof.” Pookie 

GUTTING THE ANIMAL ON RICK’S FRONT PORCH IS FERAL OF YOU DARYL DIXON 

Them thinking that being neighbours is too much distance - staying in one house together 

I love everyones collective shock at Rick’s shaved face 

“And I’m just trying to figure Mr Dixon out, but I will.” I wouldn’t count on it hunny 

Daryl please for the love of God, have a shower 

Rick’s panic - bless him - “I was in the middle of losing my mind.” 

Mikey and Enid 

Oh poor sweet baby Carl - bless you child 

“I didn’t just lose her. I killed her.” Jesus 

They’ve been on the run and fighting for their lives for so long, they’ve forgotten how to exist peacefully and without fear - without the suspicion and without feeling like everyone and everything is out to get them 

“They’re weak. And I don’t want us to get weak too.” I genuinely don’t think that’s possible Carl 

CAROL 

“DEN MOTHER” 

“NICE ENOUGH TO PROTECT ME”

WOMAN 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

DARYL’S FACE WHEN SHE COMES OUT IN THOSE CLOTHES - MAN LITERALLY FROZE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

THAT WAS A LAUGH  

“Have you taken a shower yet?” “Mm-hmm.” When? The 80s???

“Im gonna hose you down in your sleep.” Please do. I think he has to smell like a bio-hazard by now. 

“You look ridiculous.” How kind of you Dixon 

Enid sneaking out ok 

Aiden and Nicholas 

CARL DON’T FOLLOW HER 

Who took the gun Rick hid???

They WHAT with the walker ??? The fuck ???? 😐😐😐

Aiden swinging on Glenn - Glenn dropping him with a single hit - Daryl immediately jumping in - Daryls growling and feral dog pacing - yes 👀

When your own mother thanks someone for knocking you on your ass you know its bad 

“.. Then we’ll just take this place.” Oh FUCK

S5, ep 13

Sleeping on the floor in their own places cause its what they’re used to 

Olivia - pantry and weapons 

“They just keep getting luckier.” .. “We’re here now.” Facts 

Them pretending to be teaching Carol how to shoot while they make plans - iconic considering she’s a queen 

‘W’ on the walker’s forehead ????? Or ‘M’ ??

Imagine trying to get the jump on Daryl - could never be me 

Daryl’s extra hot these last 2 episodes 

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU CAN’T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HUMANS AND WALKERS BY SOUND ?!?!?! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE ??!?!?!?

She has high hopes for a world in the middle of a zombie apocalypse 

“People are the real threat now.” They kinda always were tho dude 

A welcoming party ??? Seriously ???

“We can’t use Daryl. They’re watching every move he makes.” Leave my Pookie alone 

“I get to be invisible again.” DFNDWOSKNFLKDKNFIJ I HATE YO EX HUSBAND 

Horsey 

Knowing that Norman is terrified of horses makes this hilarious to watch 

“I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” Pookie 

“You used to be somebody’s huh? Now you’re just yours.” That’s oddly profound 

Tobin - weapons 

“The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get.” 

Daryl going to save the horse 

Walkers eating animals - I knew it but fuck it sucks 

NO

NO 

NO 

NO 

NO 

NO 

NOT THE HORSE 

NO 

NO 

Killing the walkers that kill the horse 

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THATS THE SADDEST DEATH SO FAR 

Daryl lurking outside the party 

“I said try. You did.” 

Pete - doctor 

Pete and Jessie have red ‘A’ on their hands 

Idk how I feel about Jessie 

“I’m just saying, we all lost things.” Yeah but you’ve been behind a wall for god knows how long while Rick and his family were fighting for their lives from cannibals and rapists

Spencer - one of Deanna’s sons 

Pookie, baby, stop eating like that 

“👹Thanks👹”

Aaron has a job for Daryl - and a bike 

YOU WANT DARYL DIXON TO BE A RECRUITER ?!?!?!?

“You want me risking mine, right?” Such a fair comment 

Was that a flicker of emotion on your face I just saw Daryl Dixon ?!??!

“Thanks.. 👹I’ll get you some👹 rabbits👹” 

God Carol don’t get caught 

Not the fucking kid 

CAROL

DAMN 

“You’ll be outside the walls, far, far away, tied to a tree.” Fuck ok 

Why are people expecting them to just.. bounce back into ‘normality’ after god knows how long fighting for their lives ???

RICK

NO

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT 

It’s a zombie apocalypse and you’re worried about your book club ???? The fuck is wrong with you 

SASHA BBY CALM 

I KNOW THEY’RE CRAZY 

KEEP IT TOGETHER 

S5, ep 14

Pastor man ripping up the Bible 

BIKE 

DARYL 

DARYL ON BIKE 

KSJDFNORNFVOIK

Reg agreeing to teach Noah about architecture 

I’m just waiting for shit to hit the fan 

“Now you’re going to die.” On the music is ironic and not at all helpful 

EUGENE SHUT THE FUCK UP

Why are you questioning Glenn?!?!?

Aiden you are a fucking idiot and I hate you 

Glad he’s dead

Tara pls don’t be dead 

Eugene pls die 

This fucken kid is really annoying Jesus 

Fuck Aiden’s not dead 

“Let’s be friends man.” Why you being threatening then Pete ?

Aiden deserves it 

Pete’s abusing Jessie - calling it now 

Fuck Nicholas man - walkers got Noah because Nicholas is a coward 

Pastor man thinks that Satan is at play in the walls of Alexandria - through Rick and his family 

Carol also thinks Pete is abusing Jessie 

“The day will come when they’ll put their own lives before yours and everyone else’s and they will destroy everything you have here, everything you’re working so hard to build.” 

“You’re gonna have to kill him.” Uh.. ok. 

S5, ep 15

The music is a vibe 

Sasha sweetie you ok? 

OI CAROL MADE THAT FOR YOU

DON’T YOU DARE IGNORE IT 

Light off in the distance - Daryl leave it alone 

Nicholas you piece of shit 

Also don’t trust Spencer 

Actually - I don’t trust any of the people in Alexandria 

She knew he was beating his wife and she did nothing about it - get fucked 

They’ve been fighting for so long they need it 

Who’s hacking up walkers ????

THE WOMAN TIED TO A TREE AND LEFT TO DIE 

‘W’ again 

“If it’s gotten worse, it means he’s killed you.” Facts 

Rick why this chick ??

Don’t lie Rick, you have done this shit foe others 

“Someone who’s trying not to kill you.” I get it, but like.. please do 

“We’re the ones who live.” 

“We have to control who lives here.” “Thats never been more clear to me than right now.” So Rick’s gotta go but the wife beater can stay? Get fucked 

MICHONNE ?!?!?!

S5, ep 16

Morgan? 

Who’s the dick with the gun? 

HES GOT A ‘W’

Y’all are getting yo asses beat 

Why’d you roll up on a man with a gun that doesn’t work?????

DARYL

YO THIS EPISODE IS OVER AN HOUR LONG THE FUCK 

“Because these people are children and children like stories.” 

Sasha what the fuck are you doing? 

Are the people they sent away going to cause problems ???

Side note: Carl and Rick have the same eyes - the casting director did a good job there 

WHO RIGGED THE TRUCKS 

‘W’ 

Using the chain fuckkkkk

‘Trap. Bad people coming. Don’t stay.’ Well fuck 

“And then who would believe I did it because I didn’t like you?” Carol my queen 

“You’re a small, weak nothing.” Slay 

NICHOLAS I WILL KILL YOU

HOW DARE YOU 

LEAVE GLENN ALONE 

Why in the FUCK would you make it so the wife beater can see his wife’s house when you’ve separated him ?????

Ayeeeeee we got a Daryl chuckle !!!!

MORGAN SAVING DARYL AND AARON 

Please let the Pastor man die 

Rosita meddling to get Abraham and Eugene to talk - mother of 2 shitty kids behaviour 

NO

DON’T LEAVE THE GATE OPEN 

YOU FUCKER 

Don’t fucking leave Glenn to die you bastard 

“I’m still with you.” Obviously 

RICK 

LEAVE THE GATE 

PASTOR MAN HAS PROBABLY DONE IT ON PURPOSE TO FRAME YOU 

FUCKEN HELL

WALK AWAY 

“I think I wanna die.” Sasha you’ve been through hell and you’re not back yet. 

Pastor man can rot 

GUYS

WHILE YOU’RE DECIDING IF HE’S WORTH IT, HE’S SAVING YOUR LIVES FROM WALKERS 

Oh thank god Glenn 

Who shot the walker on Rick ??? Sasha ????

“Simply put, there is a vast ocean of shit that you people don’t know shit about. Rick knows every fine grain of said shit and then some.” Yes, yes he does. 

Rick, bby, that’s not how you do this 

Nicholas begging for his life - as he should 

‘W’ has photos of Rick and Carl -  fuck 

Pete killing Reg 

“Rick.. do it.” Oh so he can kill when its convenient for YOU 

Daryl and Aaron bringing Moran to Rick, just as Rick kills Pete 

[cloveroctobers]

R. Jerimovich | summer/fall prompts !

A/N: yeah this was supposed to be included in my summer prompt collection but time got away from me. Decided to combine and make this my first October prompt of 2022! Hope you enjoy! I’m wondering what they’re gonna do for season 2? I’m challenging myself to write shorter prompts so I can get work out in a timely manner…here goes nothing 😆!

Update; no luck :/ + WARNINGS: language + enemies to lovers? Or rather shit-talking to friends? Lol. Friends with benefits? Is this a Richie x reader or is it undercover Mikey x reader? Idk I just tried to write what it would be like to have him as a friend but it felt a little questionable at times lol. Anyways! Hope you like this 🫶🏽

Prompt: Skinny dipping + Campfire Evenings + 31. “Do you ever wonder if you’d survive a horror movie?”

*ೃ༄ *ೃ༄ *ೃ༄ *ೃ༄ *ೃ༄ *ೃ༄ *ೃ༄ *ೃ༄

Yeah…you didn’t know what the fuck you were doing here but when your phone lit up, you were on go. His texts should have stayed green but you loved being needed and that was a problem in itself. It has been at least three weeks since the last time you talked to Richie, catching him all dressed up on a date. It was laughable to you, how he could put in the effort for some stranger but couldn’t bother to do the same for you.

He could if he really wanted to.

You’ve always been sidelined and you knew you didn’t deserve it. It was the same useless story since you went off to college and still decided to come back to Chicago. You were there first, through it all and he still chose someone else. You were there for the wedding, the birth of his daughter, and the divorce but somehow you were always second. Even when it came to your shared friendship with Mikey Berzatto…it was a complex trio.

“Why don’t you just date me?” Michael asked you one night; as you ranted over a new Monica joint blasting through your phone.

This was said during a dreadful December, two months before he passed.

You quirked up a brow as Michael glanced back at you, arms hanging over the railing with the view of Chicago’s river walk in the distance, “would you?”

Michael snorted at you with a shake of his head. “Trust me, if I could get a babe like you to fall in love wit a fella like me? It be a honor. But naah I’m not putting myself through that heartbreak! plus I love you too much to even think about you that way. although…it would be fun to piss rich off.”

Scoffing you folded your arms into your lap, leaning forward as you braced yourself against the brutal winter air. Michael maybe five years older than you but you instantly clicked, ever since you became neighbors with your family across the street. The both of you were friends for awhile but Richie knew him first, since their childhood although there was a year or two difference between them. He always liked to make that known, arm lounging around Mikey’s shoulders as he drunkenly boasted, “this right here is my fucken guy! My fucken brother!”

And of course Mikey Berzatto ate that up, grin as wide as the bridge of his nose, “yeah, yeah that’s right you better love me.”

“What? I thought it was a given that you’re my bitch!” Richie pecked the man’s cheek, earning a scowl from the then spiked haired man.

“Your what? Fuck outta here. Moments ruined, jackoff!” Mikey laughed, shoving the man towards you, who stumbled back with you quickly stepping out of the way to not be toppled by the 6’1 man.

Richie caught himself by the bar, slumping against one of the seats by you. He sighed, cup still in his hand as he blinked over at you who side eyed him, “he’s just playing hard to get like you, huh, baby?”

Which of course earned a eye roll from you as you sipped at the rest of your drink, now twenty-one and sent a middle finger at the striking blue eyed man. Both men howled with laughter, Michael reaching over to rest a hand in between your shoulder blades.

“That’s right, y/n! He ain’t worth your time!”

“Excuse me?!”

“Oh, clean the wax outta your ears, rich!”

“I’m the best thing she’s got.” Richie argued.

Mikey scrunched up his lips while you glared at a very drunk Richie, “Which is equal to dog shit.”

That earned a cackle from you, picked fro thrown back as you did with Mikey’s hand still resting on your upper back.

“What the fuck?!” Richie’s enlarged eyes were clearly offended but it’s not like Mikey cared much.

He was just telling it like it was, he’s been on the inside of both relationships and was honest with each of you on what he truly thought.

He then wrapped his large arms fully around your neck, giving you a brief squeeze then kissed your temple, “I think she agrees.”

He winked.

Michael was just magnetic that way and there was something about you that he liked the first day he met you, kicking over a garbage can into the street to get the attention of the garbage men who were extremely close to backing into your father’s Toyota Celica that he just gave you for your eighteenth birthday.

You ended up fracturing your foot in two places but at least the garbage men didn’t ruin your new sweet ride. Michael had to give you credit, you knew how to get your point across if you got pushed enough. Since the moment you and your family moved in, he waved to your ma often, not having much time to talk since it seemed like she was always rushing off to work. Michael knew the feeling at twenty-three but as the second man in the berzatto household, he knew hard work since he was practically in diapers! You on the other hand were hard to come by with Michael working crazy hours at the Original Beef of Chicagoland with his dad but when he did see you, he always wondered what you were up to next.

“that the one that broke her foot kicking that garbage can?” A twenty-one year old Richie asked, as Michael and him were making their way back to the Berzatto household for Sunday dinner.

You were dragging your booted foot down the steps, keys jingling in your hand as you took your time going down them.

“Yeah that’s her.” Michael replied, blunt perched between his lips.

Richie decided to call out, “hey, sweetheart! I heard you like kicking cans! And it usually means having a full-time meeting with our maker above. You know you’re usually supposed to drag them to the sidewalk or street if you prefer.”

“And, and, anddd, minding your got damn business is free! So you might want to work a little harder if you want to be hired, asswipe.” You called back out in a sweet tone, hand resting on the railing of the stairs, with the other on your hip as you took a break.

Mikey laughed at the clapback, smacking Richie’s shoulder who was now glaring at you from across the street. “Sorry about my dumb friend here, y/n! Don’t pay him any mind.”

“Thanks, Mikey. I won’t!” You beamed from across the street, making the gelled haired man laugh once more.

Richie held his hands out, confused on what was happening right now. Why was he being ganged up on…especially by some pretty chick Mikey suddenly befriended? Yeah he was feeling a little pressed.

“Well I hope you have a good rest of the day then!” Richie continued, “try kicking a lamp post this time, maybe you’ll break your shit in three places.”

“How about I come over there and kick your ass instead, Hm? ‘Ol bean pole looking—

“Come see me then!” Richie waved his fingers over at the girl.

Mikey jumped in front of his friend, stepping into the street behind a parked car as he actually saw you start to move down your steps again.

“Okay!” Mikey coughed before clapping his hands together then pulled the blunt to rest behind his ear, “no! Let’s start over, Richie this is my lovely neighbor y/n, she’s all studious which I’m sure you can tell with the glasses and shit, loves cats, sandwiches, and cars. Y/n this is my knucklehead best friend, Richie. He’s basically a extra brother I didn’t want but my right hand, got the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen, loves a good pair of adidas, and hates trains.”

Richie had his eyes in slits, still staring over at you while you pushed your oval glasses against your nose.

“…why don’t you like trains?”

“Huh?”

“I said, Why don’t you like trains?” You repeated.

“They don’t ever know where the fuck they’re going! The L’s got too many lines: red, pink, brown—the hell is this? Twister?! Fuck.”

A bubble of laughter escaped your lips while Michael lightly shook his head at his friend who was easily frustrated discussing the train routes.

“Well…you could always drive.”

“In this traffic? With what car?! Mikey’s hoopty? The thing can’t even get around the block without blowing a tornado outta its ass!” The long curly haired man fanned his hands.

“This is my last warning,” Mikey pointed at the taller man, “Don’t talk about my baby like that, rich.”

Richie scoffed.

You blew out a raspberry as you now stood on your side of the sidewalk, “sounds tough, Richard. But I’ve gotta go to my car over there so enjoy that train ride or don’t.”

“It’s Richie.”

“That’s what I said,” you blinked before turning back to Mikey, “catch you later, Mikey? Tell sugar I said hey.”

“Will do. Take it easy out there on them streets, huh?”

“Of course. I’m no idiot.”

“I know it, just don’t need to hear from your dad down at Chicagoland you went and injured somethin’ else.”

“Too charming for me, Mikey.” You smiled, slowly strolling over to your car as Richie watched this whole exchange, chewing down on his bottom lip.

Mikey puffed out a laugh, beginning to back up onto the curb as you took your time climbing into your car, always on the go. You started up your car, leaving your driver side and passenger side windows ajar as your car vibrated with Lil Wayne’s, “Way of life.”

Busting a U-Turn you drove by the boys waving as you went the opposite direction.

“That girl listens to Weezy?”

Michael glanced at his friend, “yeah, so?”

“I expected Alicia keys, Sugababes, or even Celine dion like sugar.” Richie shrugged, still looking down the streets.

Michael snorted as he knocked his knuckles against Richie’s abdomen, “uh oh you seem kinda concerned there, Richard. I knew she would have your interest.”

“What?” Richie inhaled, “me and that four eyed bow-legged—

“Hey,” Michael cut in, “she’s cool. You started with her remember? That girl ain’t do nothing to you.”

“She called me a asswipe and a bean pole!” Richie placed his hand on his chest as they carried on to Michael’s house, “I work out, okay!”

“That was after you told her to break her foot some more,” Michael yelled as he began jogging up the three steps to his house, “and all you do is jog in place and do three push ups whenever Juliana and the twins show up at the park.”

“Oh fuck off,” richie shoved Michael inside of his house as the older boy pushed the front door open, “I should be the one grilling you! You seem quite in love with her yourself!”

“Nah,” Michael shook his head, “don’t do that. We’re friends and she’s eighteen, that’s not for me. I just wanted you two to meet, put a name to the face her dad was telling my old man about the other day.”

“Can’t say I believe that, Mikey.”

“Believe whatever the hell you want then.”

The two had a intense stare off before the voice of a young Carmy called out to his big brother.

“Mike! Sugar needs your help with ma!”

Michael broke his stare with his best friend to see his dark blond haired brother leaning over the banister of the stairs. He sighed knowing what this meant as he glanced at Richie who waved him along.

“Right, c’mon down here with Richie, Carmy.”

Carmy appeared as if he was ready to argue but the look Mikey gave him made the eight year old mutter to himself instead. He thudded down the steps, leaving Mikey to plop a palm against the top of his head nudging it around before he headed up the steps himself.

“Sup, little shit. What you into these days?” Richie shoved his hands into his pockets as Carmy stared at him with his own set of round blue eyes.

Carmy puffed out a breath, “a helluva lot more than you, richie. I’m gonna call dad.”

“Yeah, you do that.” Richie scoffed at the small boy who jogged by him to enter the kitchen.

The memories kept hitting you and Richie as you sat bundled with a blanket around the firepit. The heat radiated against your frame as you sat, legs crossed over the other while a slight breeze continued to pick up. It’s been a couple of hours since you pulled up to the coach house Richie pin dropped to you and you had a lot of questions.

Why was he renting this airbnb for the two of you when he was the main one who was the penny pincher? Your eyes held the questions but Richie was all grins as he held out a glass of red wine and a spliff in between his lips as he greeted you.

A simple:

i miss u. cme see me 🤲 — Richard

With a location attached was what got you here. Foolish, you knew. The directions let you know it would be a good drive and you had the weekend off so you wondered if you needed to pack a bag. Unfortunately that was your first thought with the second being should you even bother with this Richie Jerimovich? It caught you off guard with Richie being on a full on date after you called your arrangement quits due to Richie not wanting to commit. That was three weeks ago, it hurt but you kept yourself busy as a front desk supervisor down at the starcloud hotel. No matter how much you tried to put it to the back of your mind, it didn’t help that richie felt the need to text you the next afternoon letting you know that the date didn’t go anywhere.

Leaving him on read made you feel better than the actual news. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction that the pain subsided about 10% at that. Then another text asking you to come see about him a week later changed everything.

He got naked and decided to go skinny dipping in a jacuzzi but you would not be joining him. Smart choice. You were comfortable sitting right at the firepit despite this man slinging everything around in his own glory. The silence was loud after Richie’s obnoxious rant the first time he stepped into the steaming water but it was quieter on this side of town.

“Stop staring at me, Richard.” You slouched further into your chair, knowing he was doing just that.

“I’m not.”

“I can feel your eyes.”

“No you can’t.” He denied.

You suddenly turned your head to Richie who visibly flinched at your movement, “see!”

“That’s because you started talkin’ to me, it’s called respect! You look at people when they’re talking to you, no?”

“You’re so full of shit, just admit it.” You laughed.

Richie suddenly stood up from the water hands held out, “you don’t know everything, y/n! And look at you now, looking at me in all of god’s given glory!”

You kept your eyes fully on this man’s face, “I’m looking at you because you’re talkin’ to me, it’s called respect!” You paraphrased.

Richie slammed his hands down into the water, “Jesus Christ! Don’t give me no lip tonight.”

“Put some clothes on!”

“Give me a minute, sweetheart! I’m tryna brace myself here.”

You snickered as the wind picked up hearing Richie let out a string of curse words, followed by the sloshing of water. He then ran towards the opposite chair by the firepit and snatched up a blanket to wrap around himself before he plopped down.

After a moment he said, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately.”

“Mmm, must have been hard.”

Richie sent you a look while you bite back a laugh, waving your hand for him to continue.

“About a lot: Mikey, the business, fucken baby new year—

“Carmy?”

“Obviously,” Richie hissed, “this isn’t about him though.”

“Then get on with it.”

“Stop rushing me! I’m trying to have a heart to heart with you here!”

Did you want to have a heart to heart right now? That you were unsure of.

“…do you ever wonder if you’d survive a horror movie?” He suddenly asked after a brief silence filled by the crackling of fire and crickets.

Tilting your head to the side you sat up, hands clenching the arm rests beside you, “you plotting something? If you are, I might have to head inside for a little bit.”

Richie scoffed, “calm your pretty face, babe. I’m not here to do you anymore harm, okay? I’m talkin’…what’s the word? Metaphorically. Life is the horror story, get me?”

Sitting back you hummed. Whenever richie got high he got to talking about the what if’s and it’s always been that way since you’ve known him. However you could tell from your spot across from him that this conversation meant more to him.

“Some of us do,” you started, “I want to. So yes I’ve thought about it, back when I lost my mom and when we lost Mikey. Life gains more meaning when you lose someone important and have to continue on without them.”

“Exactly!” Richie agreed, “it’s kinda ironic. You got to experience lost before you really step back and look at life and live it. The pandemic kinda started that for me, not being able to see my daughter even when fucken Juliana caught that shit—

He stopped himself clearing his throat. He felt anger talking about the woman he once called his wife but sadness when he thought about his constant absence in his daughter’s life. He didn’t want to be a repeat of his own father and yet here he was…

“I had to do things I never thought of doing,” richie spoke, you knew he and Mikey had to deal to keep the original beef afloat. You got it out of Mikey since Richie was so stubborn and sure of himself. They both said they didn’t want to get you involved and you weren’t, you just knew about it. You were their friends so it was only right that you knew about their struggles too? However that didn’t work out too well with Mikey, you bitterly thought.

Richie sniffed as he looked at you, “and it makes you look at things differently. It’s been two years since then and I just—get worked up because I really do care…although I can be dismissive.”

“What are you saying, Richie?”

“Life shouldn’t be this lonely. It’s horrifying, y/n.”

Deeply inhaling and exhaling you took a moment. Did this feel the same as it’s always been? You and Richie were on and off for years now, that came to a halt the minute he married Juliana. He came to your college graduation with her (and Mikey of course!) and that’s when you found out she was pregnant. There was distance with you away in Atlanta but that didn’t mean you didn’t have your fun either. You convinced yourself that you did not need to be hung up over no man and you believed that for awhile.

When you decided to come back to Chicago you had one serious boyfriend, moving on and becoming closer with Mikey during this time. Richie was a new time dad and had to balance life at home with the growing restaurant. It seemed as if the life was slowly draining out of him and you felt for Richie. How couldn’t you? Once upon a time you loved him so deeply. Things were different and you knew it had to do with his poor communication with Juliana, you wondered if she ever found out that Richie drunkenly showed up to your apartment telling you that he wasn’t in love with her and felt stuck. Then there was a baby in the mix.

“He should of thought of that before he put a baby in her, that’s his own problem, y/n. Not yours, just focus on your own relationship. Rich will figure it out.” Mikey often told you at your breakfast meetings.

You missed those breakfast meetings. You only became a breakfast person because of Michael Berzatto…on the other hand? You’d stay right in bed, which is what you were back to doing.

Losing Michael completely shifted the routine.

“I want us to be able to talk again. Really talk again instead of the bickering, disappearing on each other and screwing—even if that’s a pretty awesome time.” He smirked at you while you rolled your eyes, a small smile playing on your lips.

“Aw, you want to be my friend again, richie?”

Richie huffed, “I was always your friend even when I couldn’t stand your ass.”

“So the first day we met?”

“Eh, don’t know if I’d go that far. Maybe a little after.” He answered, “anybody that’s a friend of Mikey’s is usually a friend of mine. Guy’s got solid judgment—better than I ever had!”

You wondered what he was hinting at but didn’t push it.

“What do you think he’d tell us to do if he was here with us?” You leaned your cheek into your palm.

Richie snorted, “tell us to kiss and make up already.”

“I’m not kissing you.”

“Why not? Friends kiss! Italians love giving kisses!”

Smacking your lips you stated, “Richard, you’re Serbian.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Richie fanned his hand, “so can we hug it out then?”

“As friends? Sure, since you went out of your way to invite me to this place for the weekend.”

Richie nodded, “yeah even got us separate rooms and everything. Some love—as friends would be nice.”

“The bare minimum.” You mumbled, “…I’m not ready to move yet so can we get a rain check on that?”

Richie stared at you with those bright eyes almost demanding, “come here.”

You didn’t move right away because you didn’t take orders from nobody. You liked to push Richie’s buttons so you sat there, taking your sweet time before you found yourself lounging on his lap. It was too comfortable to be back in this position, arms wrapped around Richie’s neck with his nose buried against your shoulder. He could still smell your signature scent of almond oil, Shea, and hyacinth covered by your own blanket…just like he remembered and missed.

When you pulled back you ran your fingers over his low-cut hair, missing when it was longer and curly. Richie watched your movements before your eyes met his, damn, you sure did want to kiss him but it wouldn’t be the best idea.

There was still so much that needed to be figured out and you just claimed friendship again. Holding your breath as Richie shifted, he gripped your neck and quickly placed a peck right by the corner of your lips.

“Love ya! You’re driving me wild, friend.”

Oh so this was going to be a thing now.

You leaned back against him, head resting beside his as you enjoyed the fire together. You just knew one of you would break and although it wasn’t full on the lips, it was just as nice. Closing your eyes you melted into Richie’s touch, the firm grip of his hand on your thigh was comforting.

Whatever the both of you were feeling, leaning against each other was needed.

You sat up, “you’re still naked aren’t you?”

“Yeah, so what?” Amusement was in Richie’s eyes.

“I can’t sit like this.”

“Ah, please. It was never a problem before.” Richie blew a raspberry while you punched at his shoulder, making him wince.

“Ew, friend.” You hoped up, making richie frown.

“What do you mean, Ew? Is anybody real friends if they’ve never seen each other naked before?!”

“…this is different.”

“Yeah, sure. Y/n, don’t be shy now.”

“Shut up.”

“No, you shut up.”

“I’m going inside.”

“So am I!” Richie hopped up.

The both of you raced each other to get inside where the real warm and homey feeling existed. Plopping down on the couch, Richie left and reappeared with one of his velour tracksuits before he sat down beside you. He rolled his head over to you, who now yawned flipping through a gossip filled celebrity magazine.

Bumping his shoulder with yours, you raised your brows before you took your eyes off Bennifer sharing a kiss in Los Angeles.

“What?”

“Sorry, friend.”

Before your brows could furrow, Richie tugged you by the neck so your lips could meet.

And you completely melted.

‘Fucking Richie,’ you thought just as you imagined Mikey saying the exact same if he was witnessing this right now.

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Continue along with my fall anthology prompts here & summer prompts here.

[nctsplug02]

hey babes! since the last smut u made was a make up sex, maybe i’d like to request an angry sex w johnny? 👁👁 thank u so much!!! <33 🤍🤍

[10:19pm]

Genre: smut

Johnny slams the door shut when you and him both enter. “Why were Jaehyun’s hands on you?” You ignored him and walked over to the kitchen. “Are you just gonna ignore me? Why were jaehyuns hands on you?” He follows you but you ignore him again. You sigh and take a swig out of your water.

“So is that what we’re doing? Slutting around?” You scoff and set your water aside. “Oh, my god, johnny! Why are you so worried about jaehyun! All we did was dance!” He walks closer to you, towering over you. “Wanna know why I’m so pissed off about you dancing with jaehyun? Because you’re mine, mine!” He traps you between his arms and the counter.

His lips are soon to meet your neck. “You’re mine, got it?” A whimper leaves your lips but, your mood changes once again when you remember what he was doing at the party. “It didn’t seem like I was yours with your hands on Beckys’ hips.” You push him away and as you try to rush upstairs, he stops you.

“Is that why you were dancing with jaehyun? To get back at me?” He traps you again, his fingers lifting your chin up. “N—no, it wasn’t.” He smirks and starts leaving trails of kisses down your neck.

“Tell me to stop, baby.” Your breath getting shaky just from his movements. “I—I hate you..” he slowly slides your skirt up above your hips and then nips your neck.

“My slutty baby, no undies, mm?” He lifts you up on the counter and spreads your legs. “Touch me, please?” You beg and he laughs. “Already begging?” He slides hands down your thighs and then to your heat. “Shut up—!” You gasp when he slips two fingers in you.

Your legs just begging to slam shut but his hands were holding them wide open. Your back arching from the way his fingers slid in and out of you in such a fast pace. “G—god, I hate you s—so much!” He licks his lips and pulls his fingers out causing you to whine. “You hate me so much, yeah?”

He slowly undoes his pants just to tease you a bit. When his pants his undone, he lets his cock spring out. “Please fuck me, please?” He chuckles and pumps himself. “Didn’t you just say you hated me?” You shake your head. “Cmon, say you hate me.” His tip teased your slit.

You shake your head again. “Tell me you hate me, tell me. Tell me how much you hate me.” It was like a chant.

“I hate you—!” He pushes himself inside you. “Yeah, I hate you too.” He says thrusting himself in and out of you. “I fucking hate you—! I hate your hands on that bitch.” He pulls your waist and pulls you off the counter. He turns you around and spanks you before shoving himself back in you. “And I hate how jaehyuns hands were on you.”

Your moans and his groans mixing together and echoing off the kitchen cabinets. “Who’s pussy’s this?” He asks with his hands moving closer to your heat. No response from you. “Answer me, baby—“ he starts to get a little impatient. “It’s yours!” He chuckles and spanks you again.

“That’s my fucken slut, that’s right, baby. You are mine, your only mine.” His anger slowly faded away as he fucked you just how you deserved to be fucked, but meanwhile you, you were still a bit pissed. “I—I’m yours.. I’m only yours..” he leans down and kisses your back, his hands squeezing your hips. “Yes you are.” A few more thrusts and he comes, along with you.

He gets you cleaned up and then sits you on the counter. “Are you still mad, baby?” You shake your head and lean your head on his shoulder. “Good, I would’ve had to fuck you again.” You smile and detach yourself from him.

“That wouldn’t seem like a bad idea, would it?” He raises and eyebrow. “Don’t test me, okay?” You giggle and lean your head back on his chest. “We have to disinfect this counter now.” You say with a sigh.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hola Dani, ¿cómo estás? What are you up to? You should do something nice for yourself, you deserve it queen!! 😌

I am very happy because I'm going to the beach for the weekend 😎 Alexa play arenita playita 💃🏽

The One with the Rose

OMG the song, THE SONG!!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

This chapter is going to ruin me, I just know 😌

And he was really stressed.

As you should be!!! That's what happens when you don't listen to me 🤬

David was going to kill him.

No he isn't, he is going to kill Mallory as he should!!! 🔪

Max never had trouble finding Leviathan.

And now there's this bitch 😒

It sometimes freaked him out to know that princes of hell knew everything that was going on in their world.

To be fair... If I had the ability to know what the hap is fuckening with the Lightwood-Banes at all times, I too would use it..!!

Leviathan, who was sitting inside the gigantic seashell for some reason, gestured at Max to continue.

I have a theory, is probably to give Max a hint about the blue seashell but also and the most likely one... to be a dramatic bitch!!

Leviathan is giving me huge Ursula vibes throughout this scene

“If a solution doesn’t exist,” Max said. “Then I will create one myself.”

Go Maxwell Go Maxwell!!! Go Go... Go Maxwell!!

He knew Magnus was struggling with his immortality lately.

Oh brother and you don't even know that it's spreading 🥲

Why was everyone taking so long to get ready? How long did it take to put something on? Five minutes???

Because you're related to fabulous people my beloved twin 😌

“That’s all I needed to know,” Diego let out a deep exhale. “Oof. That was scary.”

¡Pobre Diego! 🤣

“Are you turned on by math, Alexander?” Magnus asked curiously.

“Clary,” their father said and patted his chest thrice. “You’re trying to kill me.”

This hot bitches are going to kill ME with their hotness and their softness 🥰🥰🥰

Her father grabbed the child and walked away.

Ok but I am low-key jealous of Abigail 🙃

I want what she is having 🥲

The signal has been down for an hour?

I don't like this 😥😥😥

It was the device.

It was glowing in blue.

“I have no plans to get strangled to death by Anjali’s whip,” Max giggled.

Oooh Anjali with a whip 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Rafael prayed to all the angels for the strength to not pass out

Same!!!

“Rafael, you look like a prince,” Anjali said and looked at her mother. “Happy, Amma?”

I am so happy right now that it's actually scary 🥰🥰🥰 LOS AMOOOOO!!!!!!

“Don’t laugh!” Anjali rolled her eyes. “You’re marrying into this family.”

Las familias latinas también son así 🤣🤣

Lexi was really getting into Bollywood dancing. David was taking pictures of everything and everyone.

Please Dani don't hurt them, pleeeeeease!!!

He heard something else.

A gunshot.

Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Anjali’s hands were red.

I'm dead now! Why? Why? Why? Nooooooo FUCK MARCUS!!!!!!!!!

Danielaaaa!!! I have no words...!!

Thanks for the pain, I did NOT see that coming... I am love you very much 💚💚💚💚

omg i read this during my lunch break (i had an all day meeting ew) AND I LAUGHED SO MUCH.

THE REACTIONS. THE FUCKING GIFS.

You are the funniest person here. Bye. I am love you.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

*soft gasp* MORE Stranger Things AU??? What have I done to deserve such a delight???

“Demetri wished he hadn’t skipped gym all those times in favor of playing Dungeon Lord in the computer lab.” AKSJHBFYIFO MOOD But also, hey...if he HADN’T ditched to play Dungeon Lord all those times, would he know half as much as he does about all the monsters they’re fighting??? CHECK AND MATE, DEMETRI’S SELF-LOATHING

I love how Demetri's general gangliness actually makes him really fast because of those long spindly legs XD Hell, even Daniel pointed it out!!! Literally just a speed demon and he's none the wiser about it. An advantage he can never fully embrace because he's so deep in his self-loathing XD

ELI HOLDING ONTO HIM SUPER TIGHT THO ;______; That boy is devoted, dammit, and to hell with anyone who says otherwise!!! Ride or fucken DIE for one Mr. Demetri Alexopoulos, horrifying apocalypse or no <3

Of course their hideout would be in the library. The nerds XD

DEMETRI NOOOO, of COURSE he's always so busy thinking about how Eli would be better off without him around that he doesn't realize that Eli actively still wants him there. If he didn't, he wouldn't have dramatically murdered that monxispot for him XD My poor self-loathing baby </3

"looking Demetri over with that stupid concerned look" AKDJHSOUBG the irony of this when it's usually Eli bitching about Demetri looking at him with a "stupid concerned look" XD All throughout the worst of Real Evil Hawk Hours, Demetri was just so worried about Eli and all the crap he was clearly dealing with and covering up with Ultra-Macho. And Eli fucken hated it because it meant he had to admit to himself that he wasn't doing okay, and the person who knew him best in the world was onto him faking all his happiness and coolness. And now it's almost the exact opposite situation--Demetri has almost too much self-awareness about what a mess he is (enough to come to the conclusion he's a burden on Eli) and is annoyed that Eli still loves him anyways. So the same kind of "ugh why do you still care about a pathetic loser like me" mentality, except in Eli's case it was everything under "the Hawk" and with Demetri it's just...his entire person :( Idk if that's what you were going for but I Just Think It's Neat <3

Demetri remembering when everyone was fighting over the bean bag chair...my heart tho :( :( :(

Eli getting super pissed at Demetri even suggesting maybe he'd be better off with Demetri dead??? Eli reminding Dem of all the ways he's still smart and capable and helpful in a time when being "book smart" isn't all that useful anymore??? YASSSSS WE LOVE TO SEE IT Like if Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz isn't holding onto Demetri Alexopoulos with everything he has and then some, ready to burn the world if it means Eli could save him, then what even is the point of anything???

Tbh I want so bad to see more of this aggressively overprotective and supportive Eli/Hawk in canon. Like we've gotten bits and pieces in S4 and S5, but I need MORE!!! Give me Eli ready to murder anyone who looks at his boyfriend best friend wrong!!! Give me Eli being a shamelessly supportive friend to make up for being such a little shit in S2 and S3!!! We've gotten a few moments, but I NEED Eli to swing entirely in the other direction and become terrifying for Demetri's sake instead of trying to terrify Demetri with evil antics!!! This is why I appreciate fic so much--the scary overprotective boyfriend Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz of my dreams can become a full-time reality <3 <3

"But us two cowards make a formidable team." Akajahousgdi dork flirting at its finest XD Also awwww at Eli trying to reassure his mans <3 "Yeah I know you're kinda lame, but it's okay!!! I am too!!!" Relationship goals tbh.

Even in the apocalypse Eli Moskowitz is cuddly and clingy af, good for him <3 <3 <3

By god, you've done it again!!! You have written a fic that severely slaps!!! I'm sorry I've gone so long without reblogging but you will be getting more soon if it's the last thing I do!!!

Yoooo it’s me, the “hell yeah” anon!!! You’re so talented ♥️ Any way I could get binary boyfriends with the dialogue prompt “I won’t let this happen”?

yooo, what's up "hell yeah" anon !! thank you, here's a little 500 word drabble for you set in the stranger things au. if you haven't seen it (because i only did like one drabble on it) it's an apocalypse (set post s4 of st) and demetri names the creatures after Dungeon Lord creatures, aka names i made up, so...monxispot = demogorgan

okay, enjoy :-)

Demetri wished he hadn't skipped gym all those times in favor of playing Dungeon Lord in the computer lab.

He was lanky, though the only advantage that held in running was distance. Of course, Eli still had to pull him along, a grip like iron around his wrist. His feet pounded against the crackling cement, clinging to Eli like a lifeline as he inhaled strange alien particles with every burning, staggering breath.

They found shelter in the library, which had been their hideout for the past two weeks. As soon as they were in, the door locked and Eli pushed the barricade against the wall, an old shelf of history books that probably weighed twenty pounds each.

Demetri panted, hugging his arms, the panic rising within him like a bittersweet betrayal. His eyes welled up as he bit his lip, turning to walk off before turning back. He couldn't just walk away, he couldn't leave Eli after this. Even if it'd be better for him if Demetri went out right now and sacrificed himself. 

"You okay?" Eli asked once he got control of his breaths, looking Demetri over with that stupid concerned look.

Demetri was frozen in place for what felt like hours, really assessing the question. What he was expected to respond. He shook his head. A tear or two slipped down his cheek, and he found himself looking down at the ground, down at his now blurry beat-up Converse. "You could've died...and it would've been my fault..."

"What?" Demetri could hear Eli's voice, slightly indistinctive, then his arms around him. "Hey, no, that's not true. We're okay, alright? We're okay..." Eli took him over to one of the beanbag chairs they were calling a bed, and they collapsed onto it together. It was a funny thing, because once upon a time, when the world was unbroken, they were only allowed ten minutes on the beanbag. So many people were waiting for a chance to read there...what Demetri wouldn't give to have another kid argue over that spot now.

"Eli," Demetri managed, wiping his eyes, his voice hardening. "I'm only making things harder for you. The Monxispot could've gotten you because you were too busy being worried about me, and if you would just let me...die..."

"I won't let that happen," Eli snapped. He looked on the brink of tears at the mere thought. "I'll never let that happen. I may be a faster runner, but you knew your way around the school's vents. Without you, we wouldn't have been able to even access the school's food supply. You're a genius, Demetri. If you think I'm letting you go, then...maybe you're not as much of a genius as I thought..." He rested his head on Demetri's shoulder, arms wrapped around him.

"I'm a coward," Demetri attempted once more, eyes stinging as a lump sat low in his throat.

"I am, too," Eli insisted, voice crackling just the same. "But us two cowards make a formidable team."

Well, maybe Eli was right about one thing.