#you dont get mad when i make a bitchy comment you think its funny

[miralunawritez]

Hiii could i request velvet x bitchy fem reader. Doo what you want witj that

Velvet with a fem s/o thats an asshole

warnings: cussing (reader), mention of weight, insults

It pisses her off at first, she doesnt like the constant attitude, back talk, or the arguments

After a little while she starts to think its funny, she gets used to it

100% tags you when she's arguing with someone online in a comment section because you gag the person everytime

Thinks its the funniest thing ever when you insult Veneer, she loves him but she also love its when he gets humbled

"Veneer shut up you look easy to draw" is Velvet's favorite

You guy are snappy with each other but y'all never really argue, y'all bicker but it never usually gets horrible

You are always arguing with other people though and Velvet is by your side the whole time, also arguing

You got into a physical fight once, Velvet wasnt super happy about it because you got hurt, but she was glad that you won

"I dont know why you're talking bitch, you weigh 120 pounds but look like you weigh 340, how is that even possible?" is another one of Velvet's favorites

She can put up with your attitude most of the time but sometimes it goes too far and she gets mad at you, not talking to you until you apologize

But not only are you bitchy, you're also petty. You and Velvet have went 3 weeks without talking once because you refused to apologize. She eventually came back first but she wasnt happy about it.

You guys argue online as a joke and Velvet's fans think it's hilarious, they sometimes cant tell if its a joke though.

You're like her little firecracker and she loves you with everything in her. Deep deep down she actually likes how spicy you are.

BONUS SINCE VELVETS WAS SHORT 😍

Veneer with a fem s/o thats an asshole

Thought it was funny at first but then he starts to take things to heart

He knows you act like that with everyone but it still kinda hurt

Even though you're petty you apologize to him, squeezing him to death and giving him a bunch of kisses because you cant help but want to squeeze him.

You guys don't really argue over it, sometimes you guys do when it goes a little too far

Obviously if we watched the same movie, he is not a sweet little uwu boy he is also a satan spawn like his sister, but he seems to have trouble standing up for himself, thats where you step in!

He thinks its hot when you argue with other people, your insults are creative as fuck, they got him chuckling

What got him was when someone asked you to look over a paper for them and you hit them with, "What the fuck am I looking at? You write like your hand got a lisp"

You guys play fight a lot, you initiate it obviously

"Yo ass look like a curse word" is another one of his favorites

You and velvet's girlfriend argue 24/7 but y'all are bestfriends (the one from the velvet version)

He argues alongside you sometimes but usually he never knows what to say so he just hypes you up

He hates it when you get snappy with him, it pisses him off and makes him sad

He's lowkey the type of guy to be like "I deserved that.." when you yell at him

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

i lowk js left everyone on read and i fucked shit up with one person aka g and now hes mad but like its my fault this time cos i was so!!! rude !!!! and bitchy!!! for like no reason bahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahsdkAHJFADKSJGHSDJKH anyways yeah so now im playing online games like a loser cos i was like really mean to him and then i was like wanna call like an hour later n he was like nah im fucking good so theres that yayyyyyy im so happy !!!! like yay !!!!!!!!!!!! so proud of myself ykyk i love when people are mad at me and FGSKDCJHG people keep ignoring me haha !! but its fine !! im fine !! yesyesyeysyeyseyeyyseysye LMAO SKGJSFGHKJHYAYAYSASFKSFJGHFGJKBNSKJFGH im actually really fucking sad and i have swimming tomorrow so im gonna drown in the depths of the waters and i cant even sh KSFGJHSFJKGH YAY !!!!!!! i love fucking shit up why is my life so fucking complicated what the fuck !!! my friends dont even like me !! hahahhaha yayyyy i love when that happens like i know ima bad friend to some friends and some friends are bad friends to me but im still sad when they hangout without me and make it obvious !!! like whyd you choose her over me ahahahahaha LOL ANWAYS IM DOING GREAT ahahahaha.// why are u ignoring me SDKGJSGH i wasnt tryna be weird on purpose !!!!! i wasnt tryna be mean i swear.... like i why am i bad luck !!!!! other people are just so lucky with their friends and school and pets and family and they just dont get it !!! and then i make ONE small comment and mess up and they have a go at me/////like i was just tryna help !! i thought it was funny i knew you were joking....of course.... HAH WHY DO YOU HATE ME////////i was tryna explain stuff to you....why wont you get it!!! like just shut the fuck up and move on if you dont get it !!! dont be mad i swear i was just syaing im sorry i speak without thinking !! but its fine !! it is so fine i am doing great i aM ABOUT thiiiiiiissssssss LOCSE KEYHJGFKHGRUK CLOSE TO LOSING MY MIND WHAT THE SHIT BRO also why the fuck are vapes so expensive like i aint spending $60 that ion even have !!! on one vape i should just buy cigs at this point!?!?!?!? HAH who cares if my lungs turn grey and i die in 2 years i sure hope i do !!!!! yayyy fun

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

some thoughts on what living with bakugou would be like:

-he’s weirdly organized. like he remembers where he put everything every time so if ur ever looking for something, most times he’ll just find it for u and it takes like .2 seconds

-will cook meals a large majority of the time, but if u bake sweets he’s an absolue sucker for them.

-if you’re like reALLY allergic to a certain type of bug or plant,, man’s got his eyes pEELED whenever y’all go somewhere together. like lets say, for example, ur allergic to bees. bakugou is blowing bees up left and right and u look at him and ur “no!! stop!!! bees are endangered!!” ,, he looks u dead in the face, like ur stupid or something and says “yeah. because of me. i’m gonna kill all of them.”

- if u have to get in an argument with somebody over the phone, he wants to hear it. like he’ll ask u to put the phone on speaker and he’ll just make mocking, bitchy faces while the other person is speaking. like,, he lets u fight ur own battles, but he wants to be there bullying the other person mercilessly in the background.

-if he doesnt like a song ur playing, he’ll just skip it. won’t ask, wont look at u, he’ll just skip it. borderline dick move tbh

-gets grumpy if u don’t follow his nightly routine on time, but also wont go to sleep without u. like he’ll just stay up and crab at u until u go to bed with him

-likes when u brush his hair for him. like u’ll be brushing yours, totally by urself fine, and he’ll just look at u and clear his throat until u roll ur eyes and beckon him over

-if u get like a bag of junk food or something,, do nOt leave that shit out, bakugou will finish it 10/10 times. he’ll finish it but then look at u and “why the fuck would u even bring that shit in here, huh? u tryin’ to get me out of shape or somethin?” ,, and u look at him like “idk man maybe just dont eat it then.” ,,, the glARE he gives u in response is muRDEROUS //pls this is quite literally the only area he lacks self control dont remind him\\

-has absolutely no regard for neighbors. he yells a lot and if y’all get noise complaints he just glares and 😡💥at the neighbor until they get scared and leave

-he thinks it’s funny to just subtly move things from time to time. like, for example, lets say plates. ,,, so like, u always keep plates on the left side of a certain cabinet, right?? but if he’s putting dishes away and feeling particularly petulant that day, he’ll just put away the plates on the right side instead. man’s then proceeds to smirk and laugh at u every time u open the wrong side of the cabinent from then on with a “jeez, u rlly are a moron, huh? they’re on the right side, remember?” god he’s annoying

-genuinely enjoys going grocery shopping by himself. like idk he just thinks it’s his quiet, personal time, u kno?? and he enjoys doing super-intense meal prep for the week anyways so he’s gotta make sure he gets the right ingredients

-u just hear muffled screaming from time to time. like u’ll be in the kitchen eating breakfast totally calm, and he’s making the bed and all the sudden just a “jesus fucking christ, swear to fuck im gonna blow up this stupid fuckin’ fitted sheet!” (which honestly??? valid. fuck fitted sheets.)

-if he doesn’t want to hang out with the bakusquad but they’re forcing him he’ll text u something like “I love you.” and then ofc ur like “i love u too. but also, u never just say that to me normally?? is something wrong?” and then total radio silence from him for like 20 mins and u get super worried,, and then he just sends u a video of mina or denki being loud with a “Can you get sick or something? I want to come home.” ,, i- 🧍

- isnt going to want a pet,, but if u have, like, a dog already when u move in with him, then it’s going to become bakugou’s dog. if he’s going to have to have a dog than he’s gonna make sure it likes him more than u

-hates doing laundry. will volunteer to do dishes instead 11/10 times

-he doesn’t sing in the shower but 100% plays the drums on the walls or his own stomach fight me on this

-he hates the smell of nail polish/nail polish remover. so if ur painting ur nails he’ll just walk in the room and walk directly out,, quickest way to get alone time

-speaking of alone time- say bye. u’ll get none of it,,, it’s not that he’s constantly on top of u or like talking to u, he just always sorta ends up in whatever room u are. like a cat, pretty much. like he won’t say anything, but if u get up to do something, he gets up and chooses to move his lounging to somewhere nearby

-he likes to scare the shit out of u. just like, rlly juvenile stuff like hiding around corners just to jump out at u. will just stand there and laugh when u scream, and will never, never apologize

-he gets weirdly worked up about hair?? just hates it, thinks it’s disgusting if he sees a stray hair anywhere. even if its his own. like yes it’s gross ig, but he gets so 🤮 about it

-he does house chores unecessarily loudly. like, u watch him and it seems like he’s doing everything totally normally,, but jesus christ why is it so loud

-gets bitchy around christmas if u decorate without him. he will complain the eNTIRE time if he does have to decorate, but will throw an even bigger fit if u dare to do it without him

-he gets mad if people drive too fast in ur neighborhood/ past ur apartment complex. like, y’all have 0 (zero!) kids, but he’s still up at the window like “Slow the fuck down, asshole! Why the hell doesn’t anyone have any common fuckin’ sense around here? That’s dangerous, you piece of shit!”

-if u sing around the house a lot, it’s the only habit of urs he’ll have absolutely nothing to say about. like it doesn’t even matter if ur a good singer or not, he just likes when he can hear u in the house even if ur not in the same room. he finds it comforting

-bakugou hates having people over to ur place. he thinks of it like his calm-space/safe-haven and it rlly pisses him off when people are there

-on the rare days he doesn’t have to work at all and stays home, mans is a total baby. he just refuses to get up for anything other than bathroom or meals and even then goes straight back to bed. he takes basically a 24 hr nap and expects u to do the same with him he’s so dramatic pls

-will make snarky comments about reality tv shows with u. just the bitchiest shit possible bc he enjoys trash talking as an art form, and absolutely does not care who it’s about

-likes to watch u do skincare stuff. he won’t ask questions and will be borderline offended if u offer some to him, but he just likes to watch u do it. man’s thinks of it as like his personal asmr

-hates online shopping. (pls i have absolutely no explanation for this one i just know its true)

-he has a lot of pride in his house so it’s actually rlly well decorated. like, he would never consent to living somewhere busted, lmaooo, so if u dont kno how to decorate he’ll figure it out for the both of u

-u can always tell if he’s falling asleep bc he constantly does that weird full-body jerk. like the one where it feels like ur falling