#you don't even eat food anymore man it's all money

[there-will-be-a-way]

You know you're poor when you eat in money. Yesterday I was having dinner with my friend when he looked up and said, "Damn, I just ate 1,69€." And I felt that in my soul. Like bro, the day before I had 2,79€ for lunch. Decadent

[weakformingyu]

More than meets the eye

Pairing: Chan x afab!reader

Inspired by Prison for life by Olivia Rodrigo

Summary: Chan is a pushover when it comes to doing things for you, but not so much when someone messes with his girl.

Warning: +18 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

A/N: let's thank Chili(@baby-yongbok) for this brainrot, she's the one who planted this idea in my head.

Chan who's the sweetest person you have ever met, the one who blushed and stuttered when asking you out.

Chan who's always a gentleman, opening all the doors for you, pulling the chair so you can sit, throwing his coat over your shoulders so you won't get cold.

Chan who lingers a bit longer when he says goodbye to you after taking you back home, trying to gather the courage to kiss you.

Chan who's surprised by the way you grab him by the collar and crash your lips on his.

Chan who gets flustered when you ask him to come inside with you, so you can talk more.

Chan who can't help but feel his face on fire when you start undressing in front of him, not sure where he should put his hands.

Chan who eats you out slowly, enjoying every sound that comes out of your mouth, sure that he could make the prettiest song in the world with just your moans.

Chan who asks you to be his girlfriend the next morning, taking you by surprise when you wake up to a full table of breakfast.

Chris who loves to do everything for you, you want to stay home cuddling? Done, he'll make popcorn and prepare a list of rom-coms for you two to watch together. You want to go out with him and his friends? Sure, he'll make sure the guys are on their best behavior. You want to go shopping? Bet, he'll clean his schedule so he can spend the day buying you gifts, even though you always argue that you can buy things with your own money.

Chris who finds you amazing, you're strong, smart and capable, everything you have was earned with your hard work and he would never want to cross that line or take that away from you.

Chris who has to stand his friends making fun of him 'cause he's such a pushover when it comes to you. He would let you step on him if you asked him to and he would do it smiling.

Chris who loves to buy you flowers every time you have a date with him, so he always goes out of his way to buy you a bouquet.

Christopher who arrives late to your date because the flower shop messed up his order and witnesses a man grabbing you by the wrist while you argue with the stranger.

Christopher who sees red when he realizes what's happening, dropping the flowers and walking fast to where you are.

Christopher who puts his hand on the shoulder of the man, smiling softly and asking to talk to the man outside.

Christopher who's suddenly not a pushover anymore, not when it comes to someone messing with his girl.

Christopher who comes back inside after twenty minutes, dirty dress shirt and knuckles bloody.

Christopher who drags you out of the bar, hugging you tightly when the cold air outside hits your skin.

Christopher who fucks you in the backseat of his car, biting and marking you and calling you names, far different from the gentleman you are used to but you're not complaining.

Christopher who chants how much he loves you while you cum around his cock, overstimulated by the new side of your boyfriend that you're just getting to know.

Chris who helps you fix yourself so you can get out of the car to sit on the front seat, deciding that you should just grab some food on the drive thru and go home.

You're a feminist obviously, you don't need a man. But after that night you don't mind Chan saving you, you very much like his protection.

[rensylph]

>>> 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐒

< yandere zhongli x reader ( MAFIA AU ) >

You and two of your friends decided to go to a club to party and the start of your semester in the nation, teyvat. You got drunk and woke up naked in a grand mansion and a man holding your waist and nuzzling against your chest. You thought this would be a normal one night stand and will not be in contact with you but turns out the man has other plans

Warning : implied sexual intimacy, age gap, drinking

Imagine waking up in a hotel suite bigger than your apartment with someone nuzzling close to you, your clothes are scattered around the bedroom, an aching sting in your body lowest parts, a box of empty condoms And the worst hung over in your life.

When you were about to gather your clothes and leave before the person woke up, a hand grabbed your wrist preventing you.

The man has beautiful long locks of brown hair, ember eyes, handsome face features, and a well built body with tattoos of a dragon in his back and arms. Dang you struck gold.

He introduced himself as zhongli, he asked for you to stay a little longer and he will order room service

It was awkward to be honest, you did ask some questions about him but he always gives out a vague answer. As if he's trying not to reveal too much, you didn't pry about it though since he is just a one night stand plus you're in a foreign country there's a high chance you're not gonna see him anymore in the future.

He told his chauffeur to pick you up and drive you home. He seems very well known in the hotel staff every time they pass him they would greet him, it felt awkward of course.

His driver arrives and introduces himself as xiao and he opens the door to the car for you, before getting in he grab your wrist and put a note of his number saying that he had fun and wish to experience it more than one time and then he said he gotta go due to work and you get in the car.

The car ride was quiet and xiao seems to have no intention of making conversation it was just dead silent

And when you arrive at your dorm, your best friend lumine rush towards you and tackle you asking where you were, she said that when she was in the bathroom you disappeared and was entering a limo with a fine gentleman.

You didn't think much of it, since it's college and you have to focus on it. Recently many gifts and flowers were sent from mr zhongli. He even gave you an ember necklace that cost more than tuition. It was 4 million mora meanwhile your tuition cost 1 million mora.

You ask mr zhongli to please stop sending since it causes so much and you don't want to trouble but he just shrugged it off the amount saying it was a little amount and just accepted it.

I mean you do text him often talking about you guys days and meet from time to time but it's Always in fancy restaurants that always cause a fortune to have a table and reservation.

During one of these meetings he pulled out a beautiful ring with a large jade in the front with diamond encrusted around the metal, with two dragons engraving inside the metal.

He proposed saying after you graduated from college, you and him should get married. He will offer everything to you, you don't need to live in that small cramped dorm room you can live in one of his penthouses in the city, you will have xiao drive you and your friends anywhere, instead of eating cup noodles everyday and worried about money, he will have private chefs cook your favorite food as well giving you an allowance every week for you to spend, you don't need to worry about anything just said yes and he will take care of your needs.

It all moves too fast it's been only 6 months and he already wants to get married. You rejected saying that it moves too fast and say you don't see yourself being with him in the future. You said you need space and leave not before paying for your food and tipping the waitress and Mr zhongli just sit their stunt.

For the past few days after the accident you and him haven't talk in a week thinking, you're giving him space after the rejection.

Until when you were alone in the campus garden some one hugged you from behind and whispered in your ear

"if you don't follow me or obey my orders, I will kill everyone on this campus, this is your last chance to stop a massacre of your peers, this is an order "Marry me"

[mydear-corinthian]

one more night

synopsis: the relationship was too toxic but you just cannot break up with him because..

pairing: thomas shelby x reader

warnings: SMUT +18, dubcon, p in v, oral sex (f!receiving), breeding kink, squirting, creampie toxic relationship, mentions of arguments & cheating

notes: based by maroon 5's song: "one more night", divider by cafekitsune

main masterlist | peaky blinders masterlist | cillian murphy masterlist

Your relationship with Thomas Shelby is indeed toxic. He often arrives home late. Even if you were only seated next to him, you flirted with women in the pub. Not even during the day was he there spending time with you. The both of you cannot end a day without an argument. "War" is the fitting word to describe your relationship.

You were starting to decide whether to end the relationship, but the question is, how?

The man gave you a big house for your family, food to eat, money, expensive clothing and jewelry, everything but affection.

The only affection you both had was sex.

Sex with Tommy was the best experience that you had. He has more experience than you, but that doesn't matter since he knows how to satisfy you.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. He was home— needy, like always.

"Got a fucking long day. I need you," he whispered, locking the door immediately and grabbing your waist to kiss you.

You can never—ever— say no to having sex with this man. He was fucking brilliant.

You kissed him back, tasting the whiskey on his tongue as your tongues danced with each other. Tommy began to undress his suit, unbuttoning it one by one in a hurry, not even breaking the kiss.

He carried you and placed you on the sofa in front of your shared bed. Your hands lifted your shirt, exposing your hardened breast.

No, you've got to stop this. All he does to you is sex and nothing more. You're not his wife anymore; you're his sex toy.

"No— Tom, stop," you whined, feeling his hot breath on your neck as he marked it.

"Why? You don't want this?" Tommy asked, continuing to kiss your neck.

"Yes— no! I want to break up."

His lips are no longer on your neck. His eyes finally met yours.

"Break up?"

"All we do is sex and nothing more— I mean, we're married. We have things to do aside from sex."

"You're funny," that's all Tommy said before kissing you once again. You try to break the kiss, but your body tells you to want more. His rough palms cupped your breast and sucked it like a madman, making you moan out loud.

Tommy's fingers traced your stomach until your soaking wet cunt. You gasped at his touch as you felt his finger massage your clothed clit.

"No— stop, Tom. We can't do this any— oh God!"

"Your body tells you otherwise, sweetheart," Tommy chuckled. He removed your white underwear and tossed it on the floor. Feeling the cold breeze touch your exposed cunt, you arched your back.

"You're telling me to stop but your tight cunt keeps on clenching on my finger."

Tommy continued to pump his finger in and out of your drenched hole while eating you out. His tongue swayed figure eights on your sensitive bud, enjoying your taste. Tommy added another finger, fingering you aggressively, hitting that spongy spot again and again and again.

The wet noise made you feel embarrassed— guilty. Your eyes fully shut, grabbing a fistful of his curly hair to pull him even more closer to your cunt. Your head rolled back in pleasure,

Feeling that familiar knot on your stomach, you moaned like a whore, clenching on his mouth. "I'm so close, Tom."

"Don't stop, please— mmf!"

"Go on. Be a good girl and cum on my face, sweetheart. You're doing so well." he praised and continued to devour you.

Finally coiling up that feeling, you arched your back and moaned. You squirted, a mix of your juice and your white cum staining his mouth and face.

Out of all the men who had sex with, Thomas Shelby is the only man who made you fucking squirt.

"Fuck, baby— you always taste so good," Tommy said before standing up, ready to leave.

"Wait!"

His head turned, a smirk planted on his face.

"What is it?"

"I want.. more," you embarrassingly admitted. You bit your bottom lip, showing him your drenched hole. "Please, Tom."

"I thought you want to end this," he asked sarcastically.

"Just.. one more night," you begged.

Tommy walked towards you again, removing his boxers, freeing out his hardened cock. You bit again your lips at the sight. He really is big.

He pumped his shaft for awhile before positioning himself in front of your hole and take you whole. The feeling of his fat cock enter your tight whole made you wince. Tommy's arms embraced your shoulder as he started to move inside you. You rolled your head as soon as the pain started to become pleasuring.

"We've fucked a lot of times but you're still so tight."

Tommy's pace fastened. Your breasts swayed up and down at every harsh thrusts he makes. Your moans and groans filled the entire room. You felt his balls slap below your whole, letting out skin slapping noises which makes you even more turned on.

"Tom— oh God— yes, yes yes!" you moaned, interlocking your legs together on his lips, allowing himself to sink and pound it further.

Make it stop, you thought.

But it your body says to continue.

Tommy's tip hit the sensitive spots all over and over again, allowing you to moan even more loudly and clenched all over his fat cock.

"I thought you don't want this anymore, huh?" he teasingly asked, listening to the pornographic moans that you're letting out.

"We shouldn't be doing this anym— aah!" you tried to speak but the pleasure won't allow you to even complete your sentence.

Tommy knew you were close with the way your pussy was clenching on his dick too much. His middle finger found its way to your clit, rubbing it aggressively as he wants you to cum.

"Tom, stop— I'm gonna—shit— cum.. oh God, oh God!"

Tommy's erratic thrusts finally made you cum. His shaft still pumping inside your walls covered with your cum, allowing himself to finish.

"No matter how—Christ—rough I go, you're still tight, woman," he groaned as continued his pace while his head was resting on your shoulder. Your nails scratched his back as you felt overstimulated, cumming again.

After a few more pound, Tommy came, pouring all of him inside you, not wasting a single cum. He pulled out slowly, your shared juices slipping out of your drenched hole. There, the guilt panged you. Your mind said stop but your body said yes.

"Give me one more night, just like you said."

——

The morning the next day hits you the hardest. The first thing you saw beside you was no one. Tommy's side of the bed was cold and empty now. He left again. 

"One more night, (y/n)," you muttered to yourself.

And now the cycle continues.

[i-cant-sing]

Okay okay, I have another idea-

Yandere dad Nanami x Nanami reader

I've made yall see the menace Fushiguro reader who we all love and adore, but let's talk about Nanami's daughter who is an absolute angel and polar opposite to Fushiguro reader.

Child reader is just the most well behaved kid, listens to her father always, and since Nanami is raising her, she's also going to be very good in her studies because papa Nanami is a very good teacher. I mean, reader is definitely on top of her class and has a whole wall dedicated to her awards and medals. She just has to show off her math skills when she plays cafe (because obv she's gonna be a baker who bakes fresh bread daily for Nanami to buy and make sandwiches) and uses Monopoly money.

And when I say reader is polite, that is the understatement of the history. She just cannot bear to offend anyone! She has to put "-san" with everyone's name and has to address them correctly. "Yuji-san! Megumi-San!" And "pervert-San!" Which is Gojo, because of course Nanami has told her to beware of him and only address him as "pervert-san".

"But my name's Gojo!" He tells you, but you're so distressed because dad told you to call the white haired man wearing a blindfold/glasses "pervert-san" and it'd be rude to address him as anything else!

And Nanami adores his kid so much. She's such a perfect child, never breaks rules (don't talk to strangers or Pervert san.) and is such a goody-goody. He is a present father, he makes time for you. The Jujutsu sorcerers can wait, the world can be saved by someone else, but he needs to attend your school play at all costs. And even when hes not around for the day, he has raised you to be a very responsible child- like you even go get the groceries on your own when dad is late! (Like that Japanese show in which they send kids to shop on their own)

But of course, there are times when he needs to be away for longer periods, so he needs to hire a babysitter. His top choices: Shoko(although hes a little hesitant since you have a morbid curiosity learning and Shoko would happily let you accompany her to the morgue), Yuta, Maki, Megumi + Yuji + Nobara.

Who is NEVER allowed to babysit you? Gojo.

Gojo babysits anyway. (He fr steals you from Megumi trio)

And Nanami just comes home to Gojo and reader eating takeout and he's just like "Y/n, how could you let Pervert san in your home and eat with him?" And reader's just on the brink of tears and is trying to defend herself "b-but you said to be polite to guests! And Pervert-san bought food for me. Wouldn't it be rude to not share it with him?" *reader's teary eyes* and then Gojo is like "you'd rather let your child starve? Can't you see how tiny she already is?!" *Gojo's teary eyes* and Nanami pops a vein "it's not cute when you do it!"And then kicks Gojo out of the house.

Even though reader can dress herself up appropriately, she still has to have her hair done by Nanami, no matter what age. At some point, reader probably realises that it's something Nanami needs more than she does. It's a tradition, you think, but it's actually a coping mechanism for Nanami to deal with the fact that you're "growing up" and don't ask him to watch cartoons with you or read you bedtime stories anymore🥺

And Sukuna??? He takes one look at you and he's already decided he's gonna be mean to you, but then the more time you spend with him and Yuji, the more he realises.... its just not worth being mean to the only person who is so sweet to him and actually greets and talks to him like he's an individual person and not just a parasite inside Yuji's skin. Like reader just goes "Sukuna-san! I'm painting Yuji-san's nails but he can't pick a color. Will you help?" And he's like "Alright, fuck it I'm taking this brat with me when I comit mass murder. She's safe."

I feel like Nanami will allow reader to have a fairly normal childhood, so he keeps his yandere tendencies at a bay. It's when you start growing up and as he says "the others try to taint you with momentary pleasures" that his yandereness begins to show. Honestly, it's just more of his protective tendencies coming to light than anything else. He thinks people don't have your best interests in and sometimes he's right, but how else will you learn if you don't experience it?

Also, if you do end up having cursed energy and the ability to see curses, I think that's when Nanami starts spiralling down. He does not want you to become a Jujutsu sorcerer, he wants you far far away from the Jujutsu world completely. He can't- he can't allow what happened to Haibrara happen to you. He can't allow your innocence and naivety to be tainted by the horrendous world of curses. He'd rather risk you hating him forever as he locks you away than allow you to put your life at risk for others.

You are his priority. Your safety is his priority. You'll understand in due time why he did what he did, so while his heart does break hearing you cry and beg to be let out of your room, he doesn't regret putting you in there one bit.

Nanami sighs as he continues prepping your dinner. Guess he'll have to add some crushed sleeping pills so that you don't get sick from crying your bodyweight out (or more like he can't bear to see you in such a pitiful state.)

God save the poor souls who do end up kidnapping you.

[ageingfangirl2]

I Want A Divorce! Shanks (OPLA)

You get ill and Shanks offers to do your jobs around the ship, but he gets distracted easily and wants your praise. You love the man-child, but sometimes you have to tell him to actually like his age. Shanks x Reader FLUFF!

'You have a high fever so I'm going to recommend bed rest until it breaks, can't have you getting any worse,' Hongo states, placing a cold cloth on your forehead which was nice in your current state.

You cough, 'I guess I can take it easy Hongo.'

Over Hongo's shoulder, you notice Shanks watching and listening intently to the doctor's orders, 'I'm going to do all your jobs so you just rest up.'

You and Hongo snicker sharing a moment, both of you knowing Shanks wouldn't be able to cope with all that you did around the ship without complaining. Hongo pats your shoulder as he gets up from the bed. Shanks immediately takes his spot, tucking you in. You were the fourth crew member to join and the only female, and had been charmed into dating the notorious red-haired pirate.

'I love you darling but you don't even know half of what I do around here,' you whisper, throat sore.

Shanks puffs out his chest proudly, 'I'm going to make you proud, I'm going to do so good everyone will be begging me to do your jobs instead.'

You smile as he leans down and kisses the cold cloth.

TWO DAYS LATER

Shanks bursts through the doors of his quarters which you shared and throws himself on the bed next to you burying his face in a pillow. He could be an overdramatic diva at times but he was your diva. Before you can say anything Lucky walks in holding a tray of food that makes your mouth water and forget your partner.

'How are you feeling? Hongo said you should eat more fruit so I made you a fruit salad for after your soup.'

Ignoring Shanks who was now mumbling into the pillow you sit up and accept the tray of food and glass of water, 'You're all too good to me Lucky. How are the new guys?'

Lucky shrugs his shoulders, 'confused and maybe a little scared because they follow your instructions which makes captain grumpy.'

You nod, 'I'll talk to him. Thanks for the update.'

Lucky leaves and closes the door behind him. Shanks rolls onto his side and reaches for the fruit salad but you swat his hand away, 'My fruit salad captain.'

Shanks pouts, sticking out his bottom lip and shooting you his best puppy dog eyes, 'Why didn't you tell me what you did? I wouldn't have agreed otherwise. I love you, but dealing with the new crew is tedious.'

Just wait until he found out all the other odd jobs you did to help out the rest of the crew, there was a reason people called you mother hen. You pop a slice of apple in your mouth and sigh, 'What do you want me to do darling? Give you a pat on the back? Feed you a treat, give you a belly rub and call you a good boy? It's not easy but you never back down from a challenge. I know you'll give it your all until I get better.'

Shanks sits up and stops pouting, a look of determination in his eyes, 'You're right I can do this. I'm going to make you proud.'

You scoff as he steals some grapes and jumps off the bed with a new lease of life, you really did have him wrapped around your little finger.

FOUR DAYS LATER

Your fever had come down and you didn't feel like death anymore, but Hongo insisted you stay in bed for a few more days. The crew had bets on Shanks he didn't know about, he'd gotten better at doing your jobs but wasn't great. You promised to stay in bed so the crew could make some money off your partner.

THREE DAYS LATER

You were sat up in bed reading the newspaper feeling much better and enjoying relaxing for once. Shanks walks in and climbs on top of you, lying on you with his full weight, 'I know your secret babe,' he chuckles, head now resting on your chest, eyes locked with yours but he doesn't look upset.

You put the paper down and start running your fingers through his hair, 'Hongo asked me to stay in bed longer, I actually enjoyed not having as many responsibilities, makes a nice change. I'm sorry for deceiving you, Shanks.'

Shanks nuzzles into your hands more enjoying the massage, 'Now I know how much you do I want you to slow down. I'll try and help more when I can, and the crew promised to fix their own problems before coming to you for help babe.'

'Thank you. However, you lying on top of me is making parts of my body fall asleep.'

Shanks smirks, 'I'll wake them up when I need them.'

You throw your head back and laugh at his playful and flirty antics, 'I want a divorce.'

Shanks matches your laughter, 'I'm never letting you go, you mean too much to me. Maybe a few years after the marriage you can talk about a divorce.'

For all the years the two of you had been together you weren't engaged, everyone assumed you were married and the two of you kind of went with the flow. Little did you know Shanks wasn't joking about marriage this time around.

[gilverrwrites]

Dickies Mom has got it goin’ on

Had to get this convoluted, angsty but fun idea out of my head. One day I might expand it into a better-written, fleshed-out fic, but for now please enjoy my yappy ramblings.

Wally West/BatMom!Reader

CWs: Wally being a not so great friend.

So like, imagine you're roughly late 20s/early 30s and happily married to the love of your life Bruce Wayne, there's an age gap sure, but ultimately that's not important. What matters is that you've made a life with him and his children. You're especially close with Dick, his eldest (late teens/early 20s) as you've known him since he was a teenybopper.

All is well, until one day in true comic book fashion; you die. You sacrifice yourself for a greater cause. It's all very tragic.

A decade later, it turns out fate isn't done with you. You've no idea how or why, but you wake in a coffin one day and have to claw yourself out of it. Cold, alone, and afraid, you make your way back to Wayne Manor. There you're greeted by your husband Bruce, but not really. This Bruce is greying. There are fine lines on his face you've never seen before and a ring on his finger that does not match yours.

You're not mad, it's been 10 years, and he was supposed to move on! But it doesn't feel like 10 years to you, it feels like only yesterday everything was perfect. It's devastating.

Queue Dick finding out. He just so happened to be hanging with his best pal Wally at the time, they both drop everything to rush over in a flash.

Your first night back on earth is messy. It's emotional, and stressful, a hell of a roller coaster. Ultimately, you spend most of it with Dick and Jay who surprise is also back from the dead. Dick is really your emotional soundboard, while Jay offers more practical advice about navigating a world that has gone on without you. He recommends you just take some time off, heal your wounds, catch-up with friends and family. You should learn from his mistakes.

Wally helps too. Primarily in a comedian relief way but also just as a sunny friendly face. His freckles and kind green eyes go a long way in making you feel at ease amongst a sea of familiar strangers.

He's adamant you've met before but you insist you'd never forget eyes that green and it stops his heart. You mean nothing by it, but it means a lot to him.

After you’ve parted ways, Dick makes a point of telling Wally not to flirt with you if he ever meets you again.

“Flirting? I wasn't flirting.”

“I was there.”

“But, come on man she's hot!”

“She’s my mom.”

“But she's our age now.”

“Wally, she's my mom!”

Eventually, after a lot of teasing, Wally surrenders but he deliberately makes no promises. He can't, not when he's been replaying the same 5-second interaction you'd had at Dicks 18th Birthday party many moons ago in his head over and over. He’ll try for his best friend, but it seems to him like this was meant to be.

Bruce may not be in love with you anymore, but he still loves you. So he helps how he can, offers you food and shelter, medical attention, a job, whatever you need to get yourself back on your feet.

You decide to take Jasons advice. Bruce still has a lot of your things; your clothes and your car. You ‘borrow’ gas money from your widowed husband and hit the road to seek out lost friends and family. Sad, but eager to get away from the city that no longer feels like home. You leave your rings with Alfred, a sign to Bruce that you expect nothing from him, that you'll leave him and his new wife be even though it breaks your heart.

The first stop is Dick, obviously, since you have to travel through Blüd. After joining him for a routine patrol, you spend the night on his couch, eating Thai food and talking about his life since you… passed. Nightwing as just finding his footing back then, but now he's a force to rival Batman.

You're two states over when you get a call from a number you don't recognise. Most of the people you know have changed their numbers since you last spoke, so don't hesitate to answer. You're surprised however by whose on the other end.

“Wally West? How did you get this number?”

“From Dick.”

He's not lying, he's just omitting the fact that Dick doesn't know Wally got your number from his phone bill. If he didn't want that info getting out he should probably put his bills somewhere other than a lockbox in a safe and quit being only person in the entire world to still actively use a landline.

His not-a-lie works however, the implication of Dick's approval helps you to let down those mother-appropriate conversation walls.

“Heard you're travelling cross country, any chance you plan on stopping in Keystone?”

“Why? Whats in Keystone?”

“Um, the Patriots?”

“Baseball?”

“And hotdogs! Al who serves em does not skimp on all the toppings, you've gotta try em.”

“You want me to detour in Keystone for baseball and hotdogs?”

“Well, there is something else.”

“And whats that?”

“Guess.”

“Unmmm… You?”

“Ding ding ding. She's smart and beautiful, a woman after my own heart.”

He's cute. So cute. He's no Bruce, but Bruce never made you laugh like this.

“Wally, this is a bad ideas. I was married until like a week ago.”

“And? I'm not askin’ you to walk down the aisle again, just one game and like 20 hotdogs. For me. You don't have to eat that many unless you want too.”

[appleblueberry-pie]

Hello, First timer here. May I please request for Yandere Nanami Kento wherein their darling finds their stalker wall ( a wall filled with their pictures) after being invited into his apartment and proceeds to runaway from him

Great idea. this will be my dessert. And speaking of dessert........

The sun began to disappear on the horizon. It had a calming dark orange color rather than the blinding white light it usually had. Parts of the sky that took off with the sun brought a yellow hue that eventually faded into a dark blue above. The clouds were purple and pink, which gave the impression that this was probably the most beautiful sunset in Japan this year. Yet, Kento wouldn't dare take his eyes off of your face. You were ten times more beautiful than any sunset he's ever laid his eyes on. Everything from your reflective eyes to your beautiful lips was something he could never get off of his mind. He needed you to be his forever.

He managed to persuade you into having a few dates with him. You and him have been work partners for a few years at the same company, and he's "known" you for even longer than that. He knew you didn't really like your job and only stayed for the amazing pay. He also knew that he was your type. Organized. Neat. Kept to himself and never really bothered to talk with others. He intrigued you and you wanted to know more about him. It was less of convincing, and more of you asking him out, if anything. More of a reason for you to stick around. He wasn't complaining.

And so you two were almost halfway through the first date. "Surprise me," you said. So he gave you some sort of dress code that would be nice for the place he'd take you to and he brought you to a (pretty expensive, in your opinion) new restaurant that opened in Tokyo. You had a great time ordering to your hearts content, like he told you to do. And you're surprised that he could even afford a place like this. It made you wonder what kind of pay gap you two had.

You spoke the most out of the both of you, even with shoving all of the food you ate into your mouth. He told you to be careful, of course, but couldn't help but let out little chuckles from your adorable behavior. You told him about your position and what you to at work(which he already knew about), told him about the stray cats you feed every night because they kept begging you so sweetly for more deli cuts from your fridge(he knew that too), and you told him about how much you enjoy his company.

"I don't know." You said, sipping your red wine while maintaining eye contact with him. "It's something really nice about you." You give him a simple smile, your beautiful nails tapping against the polish wooden dinner table. He felt his cock twitch in his pants and tried to fight back the heat that began to reach his face and ears from your sudden complete attention on him.

"You're so sweet and caring.........Very attentive and responsible. I like that in a man." You sat back in your seat, eating smaller bites off of your plate now. "You know, I can't find men like you anymore. Like, a lot of them always seem to have a lot of the qualities I want. Money, great hygiene, great taste in places they take me to, but..." You shook your head. "There's always that one thing that just....doesn't do it for me, you know?" Kento nods, understanding what you meant. He prayed that there wasn't anything you didn't like about him. Because he knows how picky you can get. And he'll play dollhouse with you a million times before you find out about how he managed to be with you in this moment.

"I used to give them a chance. That's what a lot of older women would tell me. Give them a chance, it's just one flaw, nenenene, whatever. But then I see the men that they stay with and it's.......I don't want to insult their taste, but. No. And every time I gave someone a chance, they revealed so many other things that I didn't like about them. The guy before you was just like you. So nice to me, had money, was neat and clean. He was great." You flip your hand around.

Kento internally monologues to himself, 'nice isn't enough'.

"But he was a fucking misogynist. I almost got slapped probably," Kento's eyebrows shoots up. "What?? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" You shake your head. "Nononono, I was exaggerating, I shouldn't have. Sorry."

"No, it's okay, you don't need to apologize. I just want to make sure nothing bad happened. Who was this guy?" You roll your eyes. "Some CEO at like, um........McDonald's. I'm surprised he wasn't fat with all of the leftovers he always brought back with him." You insult him and scoff. Kento makes a hard mental note to do some deep research on all current and former CEO's of McDonald's establishments. And also to get into your phone's database.

"And him being nice wasn't enough at all." See? "And after all of the 'nice guys' I dated, and all of the weird misogynists-in-hiding i've spoken to, I have a very...very good feeling," You grab his cold hands with your very warm ones, "That you are so much more than every sleaze I gave crumbs to."

"......so I am receiving 'crumbs'?" You smile and let go of his hands. He dearly misses the warmth you provided to him. "The first date is always crumbs. It's just a matter if I believe that you deserve more than just that." You silently watch Kento pay for the bill before packing your stuff. Before you can get out of your seat, Kento almost(fully) rushes out of his to help you back up. You sweetly thank him, putting your jacket on(with his help again) and let out an exhale as you both step outside of the restaurant onto the streets.

It takes a few anxious seconds of silence for Kento to speak up. "Is it alright if we make some dessert at my place? I have all of the ingredients to make an apple pie, I didn't want to waste your time by just sitting on the couch with you. But if you want to call it a night, I can walk you back home and we can discuss our next date on the way back?"

When you turn and smile at him, the setting sun accents your face in every way possible. Kento prays to god that this moment in time isn't a dream. Without realizing, his face relaxes, brown eyes giving you that look as if you were his nonexistent teenage dream that he's meeting for the first time. It feels so natural when you slip your hand into his, intertwining your fingers together.

"No. I realize I want to do this with you. You're special. I hope you realize that by now." Kento can only stay silent while his heart nearly beats out of his chest for the entire way back to his place. You didn't mind the silence, humming and pointing at flowers or birds that caught your attention for a few seconds.

Kento goes over every door he locked and every little thing he hid around his house in case you agreed to be with him at his place. But now that you two were in front of his door, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. So, he calmly opens his front door, lets you in first with a smile, before closing it behind him. He acts as if nothing is suspicious as you both take off your shoes and outside jackets, putting them in their respective places.

Kento excuses himself to open his sliding door in the back for ventilation, only to really check all doors for their locks, peek into certain rooms he purposefully left unlocked. "Hey, Kento?" You called from the kitchen. "Yes? Is there anything you need?" He calls back, making his way to the sliding door. "Is it okay if I use your bathroom?"

"My home is your home. The bathroom is down the hall by the staircase." And it's as he opens the sliding doors that he tenses realizes you'd possibly open one of two doors at the end of the hallway. The one leading into his humongous shrine entirely dedicated to you, or the actual bathroom.

"Y/n, wait." Kento does a 180 turn and power walks back to the front of his home, about to turn left before nearly bumping into you. You pass him with the same speed he had almost, putting on your shoes you left by the door. His heart drops into his stomach when he turns and sees the door to his shrine left wide open. "Y/n-" You had already left out the door by the time he turns back to face you.

Kento thinks back to seven months ago when he first started stalking you. How long it took for him to get his first clear picture of your face in a crowd full of people. How long it took for him to build his body shape into the one you desired. How long it took for him to find a place in Shinjuku to be closer to you. To be in the same work company as you. And, fuck, did it take forever for him to get you to notice him. And now here you are. Running out of his apartment in fear of him. All of the love and desire he poured into you, into your beautiful shrine entirely dedicated to you. He was completely devoted to you. And you're running. How fucking stupid it was for him to believe he could have it easy.

His face forms into one of anger as you step out into the cold once more, as if you forgot every single good fucking thing he had brought onto you. You didn't even realize how close he got until you felt his iron-tight grip clamp onto your shoulder and yank you back into his apartment. You land onto the floor harshly and flinch when he slams the door shut, locking it tight.

You never realized how much bigger and stronger Nanami was compared to you until now. You were just a little mouse and he was like a tiger. "I can't let you go." He says. His heart feels as if it's hanging on a few strings in his chest. His throat begins to close out of stress and sadness. He didn't want to do this to you. He got so so so close....but you tried to ruin everything you two had build together.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. He rubs his face and turns his back to you. "Fuck." You stay silent and still. You couldn't believe what you had gotten yourself into. You couldn't have known that the silent businessman that worked a floor above you was a weirdo creep who would fucking hold you hostage.

"It was my fault. I knew that that door was unlocked. And forgot to lock it. I never wanted you to see that." He turns back to face you now. You're still silent. Nanami desperately wants you to say something. He missed the sound of your voice in his ears. He missed feeling your touch. And knowing it won't ever be genuine like it felt today just made it feel like a huge part of him died inside. The silence killed him.

"........You have to stay here." "No." You immediately respond to that, shaking your head. You scramble to your feet and step up to him. "I'm not your hostage, Nanami." He turns his head in mental pain, hating how you aren't on first-name basis now. "No, you're not. But you won't ever want to be with me again. And the last thing I need is for someone else to find out about it."

"Of fucking course I wouldn't want to be around you anymore. Who knows what other shit you've seen me do. It's so sickening to think I was going to be close to my stalker. Oh, jesus christ." The vile words pour out of your mouth and Nanami's jaw tenses. Nanami looked like a child being told he couldn't see his mother ever again and it just made you more pissed off. You wanted to leave. The door was right there. But his desire to want you....and keep you...kept you from being free.

You step back in thought. What the fuck are you going to do? As if he could read your mind, Nanami looks up at you. He hasn't moved once from his spot. "I will take care of you."

You shake your head and purse your lips. "I wouldn't dare neglect you. You are my angel. You know that. Right?" He takes a step closer. "We can sleep in the same bed once we get there...but until then, I can give you my bedroom."

His dining room and kitchen are big. With the surrounding space, you feel like you could get around him somehow. So you shed the jacket, letting it drop to the floor. "......" He stares at it before looking back up at you. "And then...I will also bathe you, and allow you to use the hygiene products I know you use." You scowl and cross your arms.

"I know you're trying to run." Nanami walks up to you as calmly as possible. But he moved where you moved. Which is how you ended up on the floor straddled when you tried shoving past him. "Please don't make me do this." He begs. You shout profanities at him, which eventually water down to you just sobbing, tears rushing down your face as you gasped for air. "Please, just let me go!" Nanami keeps your hands together with one hand, and wipes your face of your tears with the other. Your face was hot as you tried to avoid his cold touch.

Nanami shakily sighs. He really didn't want to say no to you. But you couldn't just leave. So for the first time ever, he ignored you. He ignored your squeals of fear as he hoists you off of the ground and brings you into the guest bedroom, locking the door from the outside. He ignores the loud bangs on the door as he cleans up the small mess left behind, putting away the prepped ingredients for the apple pie for another time. And he ignores that small selfish feeling of happiness bloom in his chest at his once in a lifetime chance to finally have something go right in his life. No matter how dark and twisted the path was to get to this point.

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 8)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: (I apologize for the bad gifs, I'm reposting but I can't find the ones I used before 😭) Y/n gets the help she needs before her and Rafe start a new life together.

Warnings: Drugs, psychosis, mental health, self harm, and surprises, ya'll know me by now.

Word Count: 5.7k+

You moved your food around your plate as you listened to Topper, Rafe and Kelce discuss baseball. You couldn't be bothered to eat.

Rafe knew you were craving drugs. He knew you too well. You couldn't hide it from him. So, of course, he became annoyingly overprotective. He didn't leave you on your own for long.

You didn't want to be at the club right now. You hadn't showered in four days. You were still in the same old t-shirt you borrowed from Courtney. Your hair sat in a messy bun on your head and you had no make up on. Thank God you had at least drowned yourself in your Juicy perfume.

Rafe dragged you to the club, forcing you to eat and socialize. But you didn't even try. You sat there, obviously unhappy, just bringing everyone else down.

Rafe ran his fingers over your leg and smiled at you. You attempted to smile back but it was just pitiful. Topper and Kelce were staring at you with worried looks.

"Baby-"

"I'm gonna go smoke." You said, standing up and heading towards the door.

"Do you want me to-"

"No!"

You walked across the street from the club and sat in the grass. Lighting up an American Spirit, you laid back and watched the clouds move above you.

_

"What's going on with her, dude?" Topper asked Rafe.

Rafe was on the verge of tears but he held them back. "I-I don't know. I mean, a lot is going on but she won't talk to me. She just sits in silence and barely eats..."

"Maybe Courtney could get through to her?" Kelce asked.

Rafe shakes his head. "She tried. Court says she's gone through this before. Told me not to leave her alone for too long." He said as he looked out the window. He noticed you weren't where you had been moments ago. He stood up quickly and walked outside. "Y/N!" He yelled as he looked around for you. You were gone.

Rafe ran back inside, panicking. "She's gone!" He told Topper and Kelce.

"What?" Topper asked as he stood up, throwing some money on the table.

Rafe ran his shaking hands through his hair as his eyes began to swell with tears once again. "We gotta find her, man!"

The boys ran outside and piled into Rafe's truck.

-

You heard the sound of a bike approaching you but you didn't turn to look. You just kept walking lazily down the side of the road, dragging your cigarette every now and then.

"Hey, Princess!" You hear Barry say as he pulls up next to you. You sigh and turn to look at him. "Where's Prince Charming, huh? Lettin' you walk all alone out here. Never know who might swoop you up!" He laughs.

You just stare at him, too tired to say anything back. You can feel the bags under your eyes. Your face felt heavy and your body was weak from malnourishment.

"Shit..." He says as he examines you. "You look like you need a fix, am I right, Princess?"

You nod.

"Hop on," He says. He doesn't even offer you his helmet but you don't care. You climb on the back of his bike and wrap your arms around his waist. He drives off towards his house.

You know Barry was a bad guy. He'd probably want to take you back to his place, get you high, try to get in your pants. But you just didn't care anymore. The voices in your head were eating you alive.

Worthless. They don't really love you. Burden.

The words play over and over again in your head as you watch the trees pass by.

"Here we are," Barry says, helping you off the bike. "Come on, I'll fix you up."

You follow Barry inside. You scanned his house, noticing the few people that laid lazily on his couch, obviously doped out of their minds.

"You ever freebased?" Barry asks as he sits down at the kitchen table, sprinkling coke over a piece of foil.

"Yeah." Your voice was weak. You sat down across from him as you watched him prepare the foily.

He slides it over to you with a tooter and a lighter. You bring the tooter to your lips and light the bottom of the foil. You inhale the smoke slowly, feeling an instant buzz.

Barry smiles as he watches you. "Damn, you go harder than Country Club!" He laughs. "I ain't ever seen no Kook Queens up in the trap house smoking foilies!"

"I'm from LA," You tell him, feeling a little more talkative now that your buzz was hitting.

You hand him the paraphernalia. "That's all you, Princess. Go crazy." He said, waving you off.

You chuckle, bringing the tooter back to your lips to smoke more. After a bit, you were on Cloud 9.

People began drifting in and out of Barry's house. He'd sell them drugs, talk to some girls, then come back and sit with you, continuing to fix you up with the makeshift crack.

"You wanna shot, Princess?" Barry asks as he taps your arm with a bottle of whiskey.

You take it from him and quickly chug as much as you can before you get back to making your foily. You were really feeling it now. You hadn't been this high in a long time.

"Ayo, Y/N!" Barry says, snapping his fingers in your face.

You snap up to look at him. "What?"

"Chill, girl! Have another shot, you need to relax."

You eyed him for a moment as your nose twitched, but you took the bottle and chugged more.

"You really love that kid?" Barry asked you.

"What do you mean?"

"Rafe," He said. "You was bout ready to kill me for his ass!" Barry chuckled.

Rafe. Rafe. The love of your life. The only person that made you feel at home. You had left him at the club. You looked around now, realizing it was dark out and Barry's house was full of people getting high as fuck. Music was blasting way louder than you realized and you could feel your anxiety start to rise.

You snap out of your trance and look back to Barry. "Yeah. I do." You said confidently.

Barry smiles. "You know, for a Kook, you're not half bad. Country Club's a lucky man."

You look up at him with your devil eyes. The one's that came out after you'd drown yourself in substances. The eyes that showed who you truly were under your make up and jewelry. The psychopath.

Barry eyed you for a moment, looking almost scared. You offer him a small smile, hoping to convey that you were fine but knowing deep down you probably looked crazy.

Barry offered you a bill to snort one of the lines he just poured out. You accepted and leaned over the table, railing the white powder quickly.

"Well aren't you a sight," You hear a raspy voice say from behind you.

You turn around to see an older man, probably your dad's age. But he looked even older. Years of alcohol and drugs taking a toll on him.

You scrunch your nose up at him as he steps towards you and places a hand on your hip.

"Back up, Luke." Barry said, pushing him away from you.

"Ah, keepin' her all to yourself?"

"That's Cameron's girl." Barry states, keeping you behind him.

"Well I don't see that little shit around!" Luke laughs an intoxicated laugh.

You could feel anxiety rise in your chest. You didn't want to be here anymore. You wanted Rafe. You wanted to go home. You didn't want to be this fucking high anymore.

Barry turned around as he noticed you hyperventilating. "Ah, fuck." He said. He grabbed the whiskey off the table and put his arm around you. He pushed Luke out of the way as he lead you back to his bedroom.

You felt yourself pulled back as Luke grabbed your hand. "Get off me!" You yelp.

Barry turns around and punches Luke in the temple causing him to instantly fall to the ground. "Don't fucking touch her!" He turns and ushers you back to his bedroom.

You were a weeping mess now. Crying and hyperventilating. Barry closed the door behind him and you coward away from him, nervous he was going to do something.

He holds his hands up in defense. "Hey, Y/N, I'm not gonna hurt you okay?" He says. "Sit."

You sit down on the edge of his bed and pull your knees to your chest.

"Hear, drink this. It will calm you down."

You take the whiskey from his hand and chug. Too much crack. You were scared and paranoid. You didn't have your phone or anything. You were stuck in the middle of this party out in the Cut high off your ass and you hadn't talked to Rafe in hours.

"R-Rafe." You stutter.

"Hey, just relax, okay? I'mma call him right now."

You nod your head quickly, taking another swig from the bottle.

Barry paces his small room as he dials Rafe's number. Your eyes flicker back and forth as the voices in your head come back. You put your hands over your ears and shake your head, trying to get them to stop.

You're too high. You're going to die.

"Ayo, Rafe! You need to come get your girl, man!" Barry's voice echos in the background.

The voices became too much and you start screaming.

"Shit, shit! Yo, she's freaking out! Come get her!"

You were practically ripping your hair out.

"Y/N! Stop!" Barry yelled, grabbing your hands and keeping them by your sides.

You continued to thrash around on the bed, shaking your head back and forth violently. You let out another scream.

"Rafe's coming! He's on his way!" Barry yells at you.

You ease up slightly at the sound of Rafe's name but you were still terrified and you didn't know why.

"Listen to me, it's just the drugs okay? You smoked too much. You're okay. I promise." Barry said, trying to calm you down. "Look at me!"

You try to focus your eyes but you couldn't help but shake.

"You're good," Barry reassured you.

You nodded nervously. Barry let go of you and you remained somewhat still on the bed.

Fifteen minutes later, there was knocking on the door.

"Barry!" Rafe banged on the door. Barry opened it and Rafe, Courtney, Kelce, and Topper piled into the room.

"Y/N!" Rafe screamed as he ran to your shaking body on the bed.

"Take me home!" You cry as you throw your body around him. "I don't want to be here."

Rafe held you tighter than he ever had before.

"What the hell did you give her?!" Courtney yelled at Barry.

"Look, I'm sorry-" Courtney slapped him, cutting him off from his sentence.

Barry nodded, knowing he deserved it. "She freebased a bunch of coke, man. Just get her home."

Rafe wanted to strangle him, but you were more important. He had one arm around your waist and one cradling your head as he pushed past Barry and out to the living room.

"The Kooks are here!" People start saying as Rafe carried you through the sea of junkies that invaded the trailer.

"Fuck off!" You could hear Courtney, Topper, and Kelce telling people to back off. These weren't even Pogues. They were lower. This house was disgusting and you just wanted to leave.

You knew Rafe was probably furious with you. But he still came for you. You clung to him so tightly as you shook in his arms.

"I got you, baby." He said. His voice was so soft and it calmed you down. "Top, drive." Rafe said, throwing him the keys to the truck.

Rafe pulled you into the back seat with him, Courtney climbing in after.

Rafe placed you in his lap, he forced you to look at him. "Baby girl, you're safe, okay?"

All you could do was sob. Fear taking over your body. "The end," You spit out between sobs.

Rafe holds your face between his hands. "The end? What end, sweetheart?"

He'd never seen you cry so much. Your entire face was bright red and moist from tears. Everyone else in the car was silent as Topper drove.

"My end!" You sob loudly.

*insert my favorite gif i can't find*

Rafe is just staring at you with a puzzled look on his face, tears spilling from his eyes. "Baby, what are you talking about?!"

You quickly grabbed the door handle, swinging it open as you tried to jump out.

"Y/N!" Courtney yelled.

Rafe had his hands around your waist and Courtney grabbed your wrist pulling you back in.

Topper swerved at the sudden commotion but quickly regained control. "Dude, what the fuck!?" He yelled from the driver's seat.

You started screaming again and tugging at your hair again.

"What is wrong with her?!" Kelce yelled.

"Psychosis!" Courtney replied, pinning your hands down. She got on top of you, straddling your lap. "Rafe, hold her still!"

Rafe did as he was told, bawling his eyes out. He'd never seen anything like this in his life.

Courtney decked you as hard as she could in the side of the head and you went unconscious.

"What the fuck!" The boys yelled.

Courtney sat back, letting you rest in Rafe's lap. "Drive," She says.

The car ride was silent besides Rafe's sobs as he cradled your head.

When Topper pulled up to your house, Rafe carried you inside, immediately going to your room and tucking you into bed.

He sat and stared at you, his tears never letting up.

You stirred slightly but leaned deeper into your pillow.

"I need to talk to you," Courtney said from the door.

Rafe looked up to meet her gaze. He nodded. He looked back at you, placing a kiss on your forehead before joining Courtney in the hallway.

Courtney pulled Rafe down stairs to where Topper and Kelce were.

"What the hell is going on?" Kelce asks.

Courtney sighs. "Psychosis. She has episodes when she's really depressed."

———-

You tumbled out of bed and grabbed the knife from you bedside table. You crawled toward your bathroom and locked the door.

Rafe was surely mad at you for going to Barry's and getting fucked up. All your friends were probably about done with you. Your dad was gone. Fuck it right?

You took a small post it note from your counter and wrote out a few simple words. I love you, Rafe.

You stuck it to the counter and sat down.

They are better off without you. Kill yourself. Bleed.

The voices made you cry. You didn't want to leave Rafe but what if they were right? Maybe he was better off without you.

You put the knife to your wrist, tears falling down your cheeks. You force yourself to smile and slice the knife quickly across you skin, far too deep.

———-

"I'm gonna go check on her." Courtney said.

She had explained to the boys what exactly was happening to you. You were spiraling into a deep depression. But not like most people experience. Hallucinations, anxiety, the comatose states. It was taking over your body. You were in a very fragile state and the drugs didn't help.

"RAFE!" Courtney screamed.

Rafe got up immediately and ran upstairs, Topper and Kelce not far behind him.

"She locked herself in the bathroom!" Courtney cried.

Rafe didn't waste any time as he threw his shoulder into the door.

"Y/N!" He screamed, finally kicking the door in. He saw you motionless body on the floor, blood draining from your wrist.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO!" Rafe repeated as he ran to your side. "Call 911!" He screamed as he ripped his shirt off and wrapped it around your wrist.

Courtney was frozen, tears falling from her eyes as she watched you bleed out. She couldn't help but remember the time you'd tried to do the exact same thing in her bathroom at nine years old.

Kelce caught Courtney as she collapsed. Sobbing over the fact she could never make you happy enough to stay on this earth.

Topper was level headed. He called 911. He explained everything that happened.

Rafe was hysterical when the paramedics arrived. They had to pull him away from you.

He climbed into the ambulance with you. There was no way he wouldn't be with you this time.

"Stay with me, baby, please, please, stay with me. I love you so so much." Rafe said as he held your hand.

"You her boyfriend?" The paramedic asked.

Rafe nodded, keeping his eyes on you. "Why couldn't I help her?"

Rafe's eyes scanned your body. You were pale and thin. Your hair was matted and you had circles under your eyes. He couldn't help but blame himself for not taking care of you.

"It's not your fault, kid." The paramedic said.

Rafe pressed his lips to your frail hand, praying for the first time in his life. He asked whatever God was listening to help him build a life you would want to be a part of. He just wanted to know what to do. What he could do to make you happy.

Rafe sat and watched as they once again hooked you up to machines. His angel, his baby girl, his goddess. He would never understand why she wanted to destroy herself.

As frail as you were, you were still vibrant in his eyes. And maybe that's why he hated himself. He thought you were were perfect every time he laid eyes on you. He couldn't see your bones pertruding or your hair falling out of the loss of your voice. Any state you were in, he was completely in love with you.

————–

You opened your eyes, taking in the blinding white walls of the room around you. The fluorescent lighting burned your retina's as you reached up to shield yourself from them. That's when you noticed the pain in your left wrist.

"Ow, fuck!" You examined the white bandage that was wrapped around your forearm. A deep red leaking through the cloth. You furrowed your eyebrows at the sight. You don't remember what happened or how you got here but judging by the placements of your wound, you knew you had done it to yourself.

"Shiiiit," You mutter as you sit up and scan the room. There was a doorless bathroom in the corner, a small desk in the other. You were on a small twin sized mattress that lay atop a metal bed frame. The small window was covered in bars, letting in little sunlight. This wasn't the first time you'd been in a room like this.

"No, no, no, no..." You said as you got off the bed and rushed to the large metal door. You looked out the small window for any sign of someone. "Hey!" You start yelling, banging your fists against the door, completely ignoring the searing pain in your wrist. "Hey, let me the fuck out of here!" You continue banging and kicking the door until someone finally opens it.

You step back as you watch two people enter. One woman in a lab coat, dark hair pulled back, glasses, clutching a clip board. The other, a man, in blue scrubs.

"How are you feeling, Miss Y/L/N?" The lady asks.

"Why am I here?" You ask, staring angrily at her. "Where's Rafe?"

She takes a step forward and you take a step back. "You are here, Miss Y/L/N, because you experienced a deep state of psychosis and tried to take your own life."

Psychosis. You hadn't had an episode since you were a kid. It only ever happened when you got severely depressed.

"You also had a large amount of cocaine and alcohol in your system. You became a danger to yourself and others. After you were treated at the hospital," She motions to your wrist and you bring it behind your back, hiding it. "You were brought here for treatment.

You scoff. "I don't need treatment. I just had an episode. I need to go home. I need to see Rafe!"

"You have been placed on a mandatory 72 hour hold."

"How long have I been here?"

"Six hours."

"Fuck that! Let me out, I'm not fucking staying here!"

The larger nurse steps towards you.

"If you literally step any closer I will fight you!" You spit at him.

"Y/N, we need you to try to calm down. This stress isn't good for you or your child."

"What the fuck are you talking about?! I don't have-" You stop, swallowing your words.

"You are pregnant, Miss Y/L/N."

Your eyes fall to the floor as you try to take in the words you just heard. You slowly turn and walk back to the bed, sitting down calmly.

Pregnant. Pregnant. The word repeated itself in your mind.

"Are you okay?"

You scrunched your face and waved them off, laying down on the bed and pulling your knees to your chest.

"Visiting hours are four to six. Mr. Cameron will be waiting to see you."

You don't respond, burying your face into the pillow and letting the tears fall silently from your eyes.

____________

The clock struck four and you were already sitting up, waiting for nurse to come retrieve you. You'd been thinking for the last few hours about everything. Whether or not you were going to tell Rafe. You had no clue how Rafe was feeling. You'd just tried to end your life. You also got high as fuck. You wouldn't blame him if he wanted to leave you.

You traced the RC that was scarred in your skin and silently prayed he would forgive you. Your other hand traced your stomach. You didn't want to die. You wanted to be with Rafe. You wanted your baby. You wanted to be normal and be happy for your family.

You heard the door click open and you jumped. "You have a visitor," The nurse said, holding the door open so he could escort you to the visiting room.

You walked slowly, fiddling with the sleeves of your sweater. Courtney must have packed your bag. A few pairs of sweats, tank tops, and sweaters. All things the hospital would accept. She remembered what you could and couldn't have in here.

You enter the cafeteria, scanning the room and seeing people sitting with their loved ones. Your eyes landed on Rafe and you breathed a sigh of relief.

He looked up, eyes meeting yours. He slowly stood from his seat, scanning over your body as he tried to accept the fact you were in here.

You couldn't hold back the tears as you ran to him and jumped in his arms. You wrapped your arms around him tightly and you could feel him sniffling into your hair.

"Hey baby girl!" He mumbled, letting his own tears flow. He gripped you for dear life, as if he were to let go you'd simply evaporate.

"Rafe, I don't remember anything." You whisper.

You could feel Rafe try to control his breathing. He obviously remembers everything.

"Sit down, baby." He says, releasing his grip on you and helping your weak body into the chair. He sits next to you, taking your hands in his.

He choked back tears as he felt how frail you were.

The expression on his face broke your heart. Knowing it was your fault he was in so much pain. "Rafe....I'm so sorry..."

He shook his head. "No, baby, no. It's not your fault. I'm sorry I didn't take care of you."

"Rafe, baby, what are you talking about?" You lean forward, tilting his chin up to look at you. "All you do is take care of me. This isn't your fault."

"I just-" He begins, trying to take in a deep breath. "I just want to make you happy. I want to build a life that you will be happy with."

"You make me so happy, Rafe. My head just isn't right. But I'm gonna get it right. For you. For us. For-" You stop yourself. "For us." You repeat.

You hated yourself right now. The way tears spilled out from his beautiful blue eyes. You can't believe you put him through this.

You force yourself to smile. You didn't want to be here. You had absolutely no idea what to do about the news you were pregnant. But if being here could potentially get you some help, you were willing to do so. For him. For your baby.

You climb into his lap, wrapping your fragile arms around his neck. He brings his arms up, wrapping around your waist. His wrist rested on your hip bone, noticing how thin you were under your sweater.

"Did you eat today, baby?" He whispered, already knowing the answer.

You shake your head. "No, but I'll have dinner after this." You promise. Knowing you have to eat for two even though the thought of food made you sick.

You pull back from him slightly. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Rafe sighs, the memory of the night prior causing him extreme anxiety, but he nodded his head.

-

A look of disgust sat on your face as Rafe finished telling you what happened. You were so upset with yourself. You could have reached out for help but you decided to fuck up instead. As you always do. Always afraid of asking for help and just getting high and trying to end it all instead. Even when you were with the love of your life.

"5 minutes," A nurse said as he walked past you.

You and Rafe both ignored him.

"Rafe..." You began, tangling your fingers with is. "I'm going to get better okay?" He was hesitant and you didn't blame him. Rafe was a coke head, yes, but he had never seen this side of addiction. "I'm going to talk with the doctor tonight. Talk about meds and therapy and all that shit. Just please...please don't give up on me."

His eyes shot up to meet yours, almost offended by your words. "I would never leave you."

That's when you realized how fucking shitty you were. Rafe was a coke head. But he stopped for you. He took care of you when you overdosed. When you tried to end your life. He was completely addicted to you. Drugs couldn't compare. He'd do anything just to have you but here you were, running off to the trap to get high and landing yourself in a mental institution.

The nurses announced that visiting hours were over and your stomach dropped. You weren't ready to spend the night without Rafe.

"I'll be back tomorrow," He promises. "I love you more than anything, angel." He said as he pulled you into him and pressed kisses to your head.

"Can you bring Courtney tomorrow?" You ask.

Rafe's face falls. "Uhm..."

"What is it?"

Rafe sighs. "Courtney is, uhmm...she's upset."

You look down. Courtney had been subjected to this before. You couldn't blame her.

"I'll talk to her, okay?" He says, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him. You just nod in agreement and he presses a kiss to your lips.

You want to savor the moment forever but it's cut short by the nurses ushering you all back to your rooms. You turn to look at Rafe one more time. He attempts a smile but you can still see the pain on his face.

Once you are back in your room you let it all out. You sobbed loudly as you thought about your actions, how much pain Rafe was in, how Courtney was hurting, how you had a tiny human growing inside you. It was all so overwhelming.

A nurse knocked on your door and you quickly wiped away your tears. "Dinner?"

You offer a smile, walking over and taking the tray of food from him. "Thank you."

You go back to your bed and pick at the food on your plate. It looked disgusting but you knew you needed to eat. You rubbed your belly, knowing the little life you and Rafe created was growing inside you. Suddenly, you didn't feel so alone.

_________

You stayed calm the next few days. You saw the doctor and she prescribed you some antidepressants, ones that wouldn't hurt the baby, you made sure.

She voted against the anti-psychotics, since it didn't seem to be a prominent thing. You knew this last episode was fueled by depression, alcohol, and far too much cocaine.

Rafe visited you every day. You still hadn't told him. You couldn't, not like this. You told him how hard you were trying to get better, and he could see your change in behavior. Being completely sober seemed to improve your mood so much.

After Rafe left on day three, you headed straight to speak with your therapist.

"Hey," You said as your plopped down on the couch in her office.

"Y/N, how are you feeling?" She asks with a smile.

"I'm good," You say, biting your lip and blushing. "Just saw Rafe. I can't wait to get out of here and be with him again." You throw your head back, smiling like an idiot.

She chuckles. "Will he be the one picking you up tomorrow?"

"Yep!"

"Have you told him?" She asked, motioning to your stomach.

You smile and place your hand on your belly. "Not yet. I want it to be special. I don't want to tell him while I'm locked up in here. He'll go nuts. He's a very hands on type of person."

She nods. "How are you feeling about your sobriety plan?"

"I can do it. For Rafe and for our baby. I don't want anything to happen to him."

"Him?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.

You smile. "Yeah. I've been having dreams the last few nights. It's a boy."

Your therapist humors you. Getting through the rest of your session, she makes sure you're all set up with your medication, contact info for any help you may need, and goes over the plan you two worked out for getting back on your feet.

In all honestly, you didn't care. Yes, you were going to take your meds. Yes you were going to stay sober. But you just wanted to get home. You wanted to be with Rafe.

________

You woke up the next morning with a smile. You threw on a clean pair of sweats and a tank top. You tossed your beach waves into a high ponytail. You couldn't help but smile in your tiny bathroom mirror. Rafe would be here soon and you'd get to go home.

All you wanted was to get some McDonald's, go home, make love, and watch movies with the love of your life. You were determined to prioritize your happiness so you could be a good girlfriend and a good mother.

You sat on your bed, clutching your duffle bag. You couldn't help but smile as you tried to be patient for the nurse.

Finally, he came to retrieve you. "Ready to go, Miss Y/L/N?"

You jumped up from your bed and walked out the door. "Yep!"

You walked with confidence, feeling like your old self again. You clutched your bag to your shoulder, running your thumb over the RC on your chest. You couldn't help but smile. Things were going to be good now.

The nurse escorts you out to the lobby, and to no surprise, your blue-eyed, 6'4" boy was waiting for you. You dropped your bag and jumped into his arms.

"Hey baby!"

"Pretty girl," He whispered into your neck. "I've missed you so much."

You enjoyed his embrace for a moment before he set you down and picked up your bag. "You ready to go?"

"Fuck yes!" You say excitedly.

Rafe laces his fingers through yours, trying his best to ignore the bandage on your wrist.

He walks you out to his truck and helps you into the passenger seat. "You hungry?" He asks.

"Mickey D's!" You yell excitedly. Your meds were doing a great job of bringing your mood up.

Rafe chuckles. "As you wish, angel." He closes your door and runs around the truck to hop in the drivers side.

Rafe pulls into the drive thru, ordering you nuggets and fries and a McFlurry, of course. He orders himself some food too and he parks in the parking lot.

The two of you giggle, throwing fries at eachother and sharing food. Just enjoying the moment on this beautiful sunny day.

"So I'm guessing you're ready for a horror movie marathon?" Rafe asks as he drives back to Figure Eight.

"Most definitely!" You tell him. "But...can we stop by Courtney's real quick?"

Rafe bites his lip at your request, but he nods.

Courtney had barely talked to the boys in days. She was traumatized. It was the second time she'd seen you try to take your life. She did everything in her power to make you happy and it was never enough. It wasn't her fault, of course, but she couldn't help but feel like it was.

Rafe pulls into Courtney's driveway. He's about to get out of the truck but you stop him. "Just, give me a minute. Please." You tell him. He's reluctant but he nods.

You hop out of the truck and head towards the front door. You take a deep breath before ringing the door bell.

Helena answers, taking in the sight of you. She held back tears as she pulled you into her arms. She didn't say anything. Just held you tight and rubbed your back before nodding towards the basement.

You offer her a smile and head downstairs. You could hear a movie playing loudly. You turned the corner to the theater room, seeing Courtney spread out on the couch. A plethora of soda cans and snack wrappers littering the table in front of her.

"Court?" You say softly. Almost hoping she doesn't here you. But she does. Her head snaps to you, but she doesn't move to get up.

She reaches for the remote and pauses her movie. "Hey," She finally says. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm, uhm...I'm good." You told her. "How are you?"

She snorts at your question. "Living the dream."

"Courtney, I'm so sorry-"

"Why'd you do it?"

"I-I don't remember doing it. It was a mistake."

"So I'm supposed to forgive you and just wait for you to do it again?" She scoffs.

Her words hurt, but they are valid. "I'm totally sober now, Court. And I'm on meds. I'm really trying to sort my shit out."

"What's gonna keep you sober? Rafe obviously isn't good enough. You should have seen him after they took you to the nuthouse. He was a fucking wreck. I've never seen a grown man cry like that!" She's standing now, yelling at you.

Your face twitches but you bite back tears. "I know. But it's different now."

"How's it different, Y/N?! Please, enlighten me!"

"I'm pregnant!" You say, standing up to meet her gaze.

Her eyes widen, trying to find the words to say.

"Rafe doesn't know yet." You add.

Courtney's lip quivers. She couldn't be mad at you. As much as you hurt her, she loved you more than anything.

She pulls you to her, hugging you tightly. You hug her back as she rocks you back and forth.

You hold each other for a solid five minutes. She pulls back, taking your face between her hands. "You're gonna be such a good mama." She tells you with a smile. And she meant it. As fucked up as you were, you were loyal, and you put the people you loved first.

You beam up at her. She leans down and presses kiss to your lips. "Don't you ever do that shit again," She scolds when she pulls back.

"I promise, Court."

She smiles. "Go, tell Rafe."

You smile back at her. "I'll text you. I love you."

"I love you, too." She smiles.

You run upstairs and out the front door, quickly hopping into Rafe's truck.

"Everything okay?" He asks.

You smile. "Everything is perfect. Can we go back to my place? Watch movies, order food, and maybe take a bath?" You ask.

"That sounds perfect, baby girl." He says, leaning over and kissing you.

You bite your lip and look out the window, excited about your future for once in your life.

[evilfrogcereal29]

Pizza guy!Nikto - Chapter 1

(ok... This is going to be like, maybe one of the most weirdly specific fanfics you've ever read. For context: I work at a pizza place IRL. Thats it. Thats the only context. I was at work and. Thought about Nikto working there too. That's all you need to know. Enjoy :]!!!

This is going to be a Nikto x GN!customer!reader, but reader is NOT introduced in this chapter.

Cw/tws: mentions of violence- including towards an animal! I think thats all? Enjoy :)!!

NOTE: all text in red & italics are Nikto's voices

Nikto was bored.

Retirement was miserable, and Nikto found himself restless day in, and day out. Unable to find peace while wasting away at home. Sure, he had lot's of retirement money, but he had this urge to work, to kill. He would give anything to be on a plane to another mission right about now, but he was too 'broken'. That's what they basically told him. Too mentally unwell to keep working. A hazard to his own team.

Heh.

What the fuck do they know? They don't know what goes on in his head. So what he broke that recruit's arm? They touched him when he warned them of the consequences. Or who cares that he hit one of his higher-up's service dogs with the buggy? It should've been servicing it's owner, not under the damn vehicle! He's not a danger, the other voices are!

Speaking of voices, they aren't reacting well either, metaphorically biting away at Nikto's psyche each day he did fucking nothing. He felt useless, and they reminded him of that. You idiot, you deserve your suffering for being the way you are. Broken. Broken little solider.

He still gets calls from his mates in the service, especially Krueger, who always makes sure to call as often as possible to keep the man updated on missions, even if they didn't concern him anymore. He suggested that Nikto pick up a part-time job, not for the money, but the work. God (and Krueger) only knows what Nikto's mind gets upto when left to its own devices.

Nikto scoffed at first, he didn't like the idea of working at some measley fast food job, he was above that. He crawled through the fucking trenches and ripped out the throats of women and men, and would be reduced to... What? Cleaning a fucking stove? Heating up processed foods for weak civilians? No. He wouldn't. The voices mocked him, this is what we've been reduced to? Patheic.

And then the rot set in.

Krueger had been very insistant on a visit the second he had time away from work, flying out to see Nikto even as the man ignored his texts and calls. He wasn't dead, Krueger knew that, but he also wasn't in a good place. He couldn't let his companion live like this pathetic slob. Cause that's exactly what he was becoming.

Water and alcohol bottles littered the floor, stacks on stacks of old, half eaten take-out. Junk that should’ve been tossed long ago created walled barriers throughout the house. It was a scene out of horders, and the smell was awful. Christ. Krueger was no clean freak, but this? He'd rather sleep next to corpses than this cesspool of rotting filfth, and in the middle of it all, sat his balaclava-ed, smelly friend on the sofa. Krueger grimmaced, taking careful steps. He nearly stepped on poor Sputnik, who had become content with spending her days lazying about, peeing in places without Nikto's knowledge, and eating off his leftover scraps of food, growing just as lethargic as her owner.

"Nikto... Scheiße..” he would almost be outraged at the man’s carelessness if he didn’t understand how the other functioned, without a job, without a purpose, Nikto was truly a nobody. He lifted the man’s head with a gentleness, an action only someone like Krueger could get away with, looking into those glazed-over icy blues.

“This is… this is bad Nikto..” he mutters, eyes filled with..love? Concern? Something Nikto wasn’t used to often. Nikto finally shows evidence of life as his eyes flicker up in wordless understanding. Krueger continues,

"I can't stand to see you like this. You can't stand being like this. I'm going to help you."

Krueger lifts his friend up, albiet with mild arguing and growling from the disguntled bear of a man that Nikto is. He sets Nikto's cheap laptop on his lap and types in job sites, which already has Nikto tense.

"Krueger- чёрт побери! you're acting like my fucking mother-"

"good, about time someone comes in and wipes your ass, if not yourself." Krueger grumbles, scrolling through the job offers, "what's your SNILS...?"

After a painstaking back and forth, and Krueger prying for all of Nikto's personal info, he sent in a few applications on his friend's behalf. Patting the other on the back as Nikto's thumbs rubbed at his temples, fighting back the urge to pulverize his only real friend. You really should, he's a nuisance...

"this is... Not ideal.." Nikto finally grumbles, finishing the last of some lukewarm whisky from the bottle.

"none of this is, meine freund, but this...Is worse." Noone has ever seen them like this, so...domestic. In reality, this was as hard for Krueger as it was for Nikto, The Alligence wasn't the same without the Russian, fighting wasn't the same. Krueger rested a hand on his shoulder.

"everything is going to change, can you try to change a little with it?"

Change? Krueger wanted him to change? Was that even possible? He'd been so set in his ways ever since the incident. But the look in Krueger eyes let Nikto know that there wasn't really a choice.

What are you kidding? You could change as far as you could throw a boulder! Never!

He sighed, deeply. His shoulders slumping miserably as he exhaled.

"fine. But If we don't like the job-"

"ja, ja, you don't have to stay. I get it. I can't make you." He interupted, waving his hand dismissively, "but don't just give up right away. Can you promise me that?"

Nikto hated making promises, he hated feeling like he owed anyone anything, he didn't take on debts or deals. Go ahead, make more promises you can't keep. We know the truth.

Yet here he was, being interviewed by an elderly couple, who pitied him for his past as a solider.

"me and Martha are going to see how you fair in the kitchen, and if that's turns out to be too overwhelming we can move you to a more simple job like delivery. Just bring the customers their pizzas." The eldery man said with an acknowledging smile.

He nodded to the man, Michael, reaching across the table to shake his hand, thanking him begrudgingly for this... 'Opportunity'. Thats damn well what it was, but Nikto didn't quite see it that way yet. As he left with a work shirt displaying the place's name and logo, he felt his heart drop. And a shrill, annoying voice invading his mind.

You are truely a fucking Развалюха. Good luck ever trying to live a normal life!

And now Nikto was worried.

------------------------------------------------------

Hai :3 I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, I wanted to introduce reader in this first part but it was getting long and I also just wanted to get something out. There will be more chapters for this, but they might be kind of slow to come out😭 work takes up a LOT of my time tbh, but also working inspires me cause...yk pizza place setting so- its a double edged sword. But if you enjoyed pls like and reblog it means sm♥️♥️ ty for reading!!

And to the person who sent me an ask in my inbox about the relationship dynamics between NiktoKrueger + criminal!reader, I see u and ur creative vision, I started writing something today in response ;) just gimme some time!!!

Also an @ list for some mooties who I think would like to see this :3

@simp4konig @lizzy019 @fishsinsareacknowledged @zoloftwithdrawalnausea sorry If I missed anyone, lmk if you'd like to be tagged (or not tagged) in future chapters!!

[holylulusworld]

Big girls don't cry (2)

Summary: You are no stranger to heartbreak.

Pairing: CEO!Steve Rogers x Plussized!Reader

Warnings: angst, strong reader, mentions of former heartbreak, arguments, heartbreak, almost violence

Big girls don’t cry masterlist

<< Part 1

Steve’s whole world just exploded. His life lies in shambles because of one stupid mistake.

After he lied to his friends to make them shut up, he lost you. And now, the chairman of his company is yelling at him. But Steve doesn’t care.

He can only think of you, the only woman he ever truly loved. You didn’t answer his calls and sent the roses he ordered for you right back.

“I told you that I don’t want to use my girlfriend to get closer to Harlan Thrombey,” Steve yells back. “You pressured me into meeting her grandmother to charm her. Now my girlfriend hates me, and Harlan Thrombey will never agree to sell his company to you.”

“Mr. Rogers, must I remind you that your position and fate are in my hands?” Alexander Pierce sneers at Steve. He cannot employ someone weak who puts feelings first. “Do still want your job, or is some pussy more important to you? Did that chubby bitch cloud your mind—”

Alexander Pierce doesn’t know what hit him when he ends up on the ground. His nose was broken, and more so his pride.

“Fuck this job,” Steve looks down at Alexander, the man he used to admire. “I can’t do this job anymore. And I won’t. I hate my job, and I hate what you made me do. So many jobs…no not only jobs but lives ruined because of your greed. I’m out of this!”

Steve storms out of the office, cursing himself for ever wanting to follow in Pierce’s footsteps. He’s not the same man he was six months ago. No. You’ve changed his whole life for the better.

“I need to get her back,” he decides there and then to not give up until you are back in his arms.

“Babydoll, I know you are in there!” Steve rams his fist into your door. “Please, I fucked up big time. But I love you, Y/N. Please…I need you.”

“Eat shit,” you yell from inside your penthouse. He can rot in hell for what he did to you. “Get away from my door or I swear you will taste my baseball bat today.”

“I won’t go. If I must, I’ll camp outside your home. It’s cozy out here,” Steve tries to sound confident. “I got food, and sweets, and a soft blanket.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you open the door size Steve up. He looks like he hasn’t slept for days. His hair is a mess, and the suit he’s wearing has seen better days. “Get away from me and my home. There is nothing left to say.”

“I didn’t go out with you to get in your grandma’s good graces. I swear, until my boss brought it up, I didn’t know she was friends with Harlan Thrombey. I refused to use my relationship to get the deal.”

“You know, out of all the shitty guys I met in my life, you are the worst. At least the others had the guts to tell me that they only used me. They never spoke about love,” you huff when Steve dares to take one step toward you. 

“I love you, please,” he tries but you shove him away. “Y/N, it was stupid of me to say those things to get Bucky to leave. I swear on my mom’s grave, it’s not true. You mean the world to me.”

“If you don’t want me to break your dick with my baseball bat, you get out of my sight Rogers,” you point at his crotch. “It’s a nice dick, and it’d be a shame if he gets damaged because of the asshole carrying him between his legs.”

Steve would laugh about the way you talk about his cock. Sadly, you are dead serious about hurting him. “Please give me five minutes, baby doll.”

“The fuck no,” you shake your head. “I’ve got no time to waste on a man using me to make even more money. Where everyone has a heart, you’ve got a cold and rotten lump in your chest.”

“I quit my job.” Steve reaches out for you. “I never wanted to hurt you or use you. I swear this is all a misunderstanding. Bucky was nagging, and I wanted him to stop making fun of me for being in love.”

“You mean for being in love with the fat girl,” you snap at Steve. “I heard all of this before. You’re nice, and your face is pretty for a fat girl. If only you’d lose some weight we could be more than friends.”

“Whoa, baby! Where is this coming from?” Steve raises his hands in surrender. “Bucky is not that kind of guy, neither am I. I love you for yourself. Your size never mattered to me…or it does because damn, do you know how I love burying my face between your tits? You are perfect the way you are.”

How you wish Steve’s words were true. You know better than trusting a man with your heart. “No, I’m not. Not to you and the likes of you.” You shrug. “It’s fine. Not everyone can handle a woman like me. The difference is, you pretend to like, no love me, for a deal.”

“No-“ he sniffs. “Can we not talk, doll? Did you even listen? I quit my job and hit my boss for you.”

“Sure,” you sneer. “I want you to leave and never come back. If I see your face around here ever again, you will regret your birth.”

You slam the door in his face, locking it. No man breaks your heart and gets away with it. If he won’t leave you alone, you’ll make sure that he regrets messing with you…

>> Part 3

Tags in reblog.

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 14

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.

Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.

Do you accept?

TRAILER 1

TRAILER 2

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

FIRST CHAPTER:

sorry..... I had promised shorter chapters but.... ♡

All the people involved in this matter are legally of age in their own countries.

I am actually surprised at how peacefully the lunch is proceeding.... Although evidently displeased, the boys have taken Niki's decision with great maturity

I'm not saying I expected them to continue, however, I had my doubts that two established, arrogant, wealthy boys would listen to the words of a younger foreign boy.

They may not be as scary as I thought.

I didn't look Riki in the face anymore, really too ashamed.... he found me out. It was also all too obvious that I was looking his huge, veiny, olive cock, which is why he really thinks I want to ride him, which is actually true but strongly wrong.

"Lately Taehyun has been having problems with his throat - Yeonjun says, I, who haven't listened a single second of the conversation between them, staring my plate worriedly, am caught by this information and look the boy, he notices. - It's lucky we're stopped for a while."

Soobin nods worriedly, finishing eating a few slices of sashimi. I stare for several seconds as he sticks his tongue out to accompany the raw fish in his mouth, and it honestly gives me chills. He's so damn hot.

"Sunoo hyung has passed out several times lately." Riki says, before noisily sucking back his ramen.

Really? Why didn't I know that? No... how was I supposed to know? I hardly ever meet him. I turn to him worriedly, furrowing my brow.

"Really? - Yeonjun chuckles. - He doesn't seem like a weak guy."

The japanese man lifts his gaze to his hyung, annoyed. "It's because of these kinds of jokes that he stops eating during promotion periods."

Soobin looks at his bandmate and shakes his head displeased. "Can you not bother someone for ten seconds?"

"What can I do? They draw me like this." The older man justifies himself, laughing and eating.

Riki pours me wine, glares at me, and I snort. "Noona, do you know how much food costs here? Eat."

Honestly, it all looks delicious -- I don't want to give up right away, trying to stay that annoyed, but it's been several days since I've eaten very little and I'm experiencing too much excitement. I pick up my chopsticks and take a nigiri sake.

I can almost see him smiling when I eat the piece and my heart starts beating stupidly, not good. I lower my gaze.

In the end the food was so good that I ate most of it, now I recognize myself... i even drank moderately. I realize I don't exactly look like a lady but there's not much to hide now.

"It was good, wasn't it?" Riki asks me amused.

I look at him, feeling really lost when I see his face, each second getting stranger and harder to handle. "It was good."

"Better korean or japanese cuisine?" Yeonjun asks me.

"Better italian one." I answer.

They giggle, as if they expected such an answer.

I have to go to the bathroom, I get up. There's more drinking, I don't think they'll leave soon.

"Where are you going?" Riki asks me.

"I'm going to the bathroom for a second."

"Then finish drinking, I'm going to pay." Yeonjun announces, getting up.

I swallow upset, the japanese young man notices. "Do you know where it is? Shall I accompany you?"

"I'll ask someone on the staff." I reassure him.

"It's nearby, anyway." The boy replies, pouring himself what's left of the italian wine.

I pick up the bag and Riki doesn't seem to notice, as I'm leaving I hear Soobin say: "Are you that eager to offer?"

To Yeonjun who replies: "I'm the oldest, I should."

I don't know him well but I wouldn't trust his good intentions, he might want to annoy me in private. I speed up, approaching a waiter dressed differently from the others, perhaps a sommelier, of a certain age. He points me to the ladies' room and I rush there, literally.

The first thing I do, spontaneously, is look at my cell phone. There are messages from Heeseung, I immediately open the chat.

There're messages just about 20 minutes apart. Am I wrong, or is Heeseung... clingy? Why am I smiling like a fool? I have to stop fantasizing.

I put down the phone, not knowing what to answer, so I ponder it while I pee. What could I say to him? If I tried to reassure him, I would only end up pleasing him - instead I know very well that I have to stay away from him, that I have to minimize the chances of things getting complicated between us, not only with Heeseung.

I have to watch out for everyone a little bit now.

After washing my hands, I pick up the phone and start staring at him again.

I probably even miss him, but it's not my fault, it's Heeseung who is leading me on.

He.... he's online.

Maybe I'm being a little too direct, but it would still be strange to pretend nothing is wrong and answer him as if all ok. Since I don't think he will answer me in the nearest future, I put the phone away and leave the bathroom. As I suspected...

He stares at me, smiling, I am visibly annoyed. I don't want to talk to him, it's not just because of what he did to me (which I should actually thank him for.... kidding!), as much as it is because he with Heeseung.... no, I have to stop worrying about him.

"Were you expecting me?"

"I don't think so. - I huff, continuing to walk, he follows me laughing. - Shall we leave?"

"Don't run away." He says, grabbing my wrist before I can lower the handle of the private room.

"What do you want?"

"You weren't so obnoxious to me last night."

"I changed my mind." I admit.

Yeonjun smiles again. "What? Did Heeseung talk to you about me?"

"Not at all - I huff, avoiding his gaze. - It's just that you don't seem like a good person."

"Me? I'm a good boy, I even stopped when Niki asked."

"He didn't ask for it, he ordered it."

This time his smile looks annoyed. "Do you think if I wanted to continue, I wouldn't have?"

"Does that sound like what I meant?" I ask irritated as hell, looking at him badly now.

"Yes, it feels like it. - He approaches me, pulling me by the wrist. - Are you implying that I'm afraid of Niki? I stopped because I'm a good bpy - he lowers his voice - I just made you enjoy it."

I push him, suddenly heated. He bursts out laughing but just then we are spotted by the 30-year-old waitress who freaked out on me about Riki. Sighing annoyed, she's looking at me.

"Do you know her?" Yeonjun asks me, looking at her in turn.

I shake my head. "No, let's forget it. Let's go back inside now." I tell him, putting pressure on the wrist he's holding.

"Give me your number."

"What?" I ask surprised.

"I want your number."

"D-Does that sound right? Look I only work for Enhypen. " I'm being funny all of a sudden, but what am I thinking?

"Who talk about work?"

The lady approaches after observing us whispering to each other, and seeing her in front of me I stiffen, Yeonjun spontaneously removes her hand.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be brusque earlier." She says with an annoyed expression but a sorry tone.

"N-No worries." I reply, but I'm actually still pissed off.

"I thought you were dating Riki - she says, and maybe he told her to call him that, like he told me. I shouldn't feel sad about it but... - I didn't want to be rude. Can you tell Riki that I apologized?"

Yeonjun looks at her surprised and perhaps offended that she is not wagging her tail for him. "And you are?"

"A-Ah - she stiffens, pulling away and taking a long bow before him, - I'm Kim Shinhye. I am glad to know that she is here for you."

"She's here because she's a friend - Yeonjun says, making me startle, I look at him surprised - we having lunch with a friend. Just because she's a girl she has to be with someone?"

I see the waitress smiling with really obvious nervousness. "Is she perhaps famous?"

"No... just everyone knows her." He replies.

That's when the door opens, out comes Riki followed by Soobin, who observe the situation puzzled.

"You again?" Niki asks.

Shinhye lowers his gaze. "Mr. Nishimura.... I was just apologizing. Ask her." She says, pointing at me.

I arch my eyebrows in confusion. "Yes, that's actually true."

"Just leave me the fuck alone, okay?" He tells her bluntly but not brusquely, only in tone.

Honestly I would feel sorry for her if she wasn't a complete bitch. However, even so, I don't understand how Riki could be so insensitive without a second thought.... better not to become his enemy.

"W-Wait...you're misunderstanding- the maid tries to justify herself, grabbing me by the arm and shaking me. - You fucking tell him too!"

"But how old are you? - I ask her, annoyed. - What do you want from Riki?"

She didn't seem to expect such a question; she glares at me, I see her eyes go practically all black. Startled, I try to get her off me but Riki moves her hand away.

"Stop touching her."

I have chills, I really do. "Riki..."

Yeonjun sighs. "All right, so you won't give it to me?"

"What?" Soobin asks interested.

"Alright, then we'll continue the discussion on Instagram." He sighs, walking away.

"What are you two going to do? - The japanese man asks, confused. - Noona I leave you for a second and it ends like this?"

"You are irresistible." Soobin laughs, moving forward and heading for the exit.

Yeonjun laughs and follows him, Riki looks puzzled at me, in front of Shinhye who is watching the whole conversation for some reason, not seeming to remember the existence of pride.

"Shall we go?" I ask uncomfortably, under the girl's eyes.

Riki nods. "Did Yeonjun say something to you? What was he talking about?" He whispers to me.

I let it go and don't tell him, as we wait for the guys who are paying.

At the entrance we say a quick goodbye, Yeonjun winks at me before leaving and I sigh worriedly. Is he really going to look me up on Instagram? But really Yeonjun from TXT? I can't explain it.

With Riki we reach the parking lot, the driver waits leaning against the car and this time he opens the door first to me as Riki makes the rounds to get in alone. I inadvertently look into the man's eyes for a few seconds, then walk in embarrassed... I think I'm blushing. He is really charming.

I don't have time to sit up properly that Niki is all over me. He is really restless and I can't impose myself as he kisses my neck and caresses my hips. Why didn't I expect this? It was so obvious.

"Riki..."

"Noona if you want, you can refuse me. I get more horny." He says, between kisses.

I can't move, I feel cold sweat dripping down my forehead, meanwhile the driver has left. "It's no good, Riki..."

He doesn't care, he has lifted my shirt and uncovered my breasts bouncing before his thirsty eyes. He starts sucking on one of my nipples, and as I keep my hands on his shoulders, I can't help but gasp in pleasure.

He is so young... but his body is so big. Everything about him is... big.

I'm really excited, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to, but... it still feels wrong. Riki is just a kid, and I in a way don't want to dirty him too.

"I like the smell of your skin." He says, after leaving his saliva on my skin.

He takes off his shirt, looking at me. "Riki..."

"Noona, beg me to stop." He says, crazed, as he sweeps me off again.

I am under him, under his huge chest. He stares at me for a long time without doing anything, then bites his lip.

God, he is so handsome.

"I know you want to fuck me, so just do what I say."

I'm embarrassed as he stares at my breasts, I can't help but cover my face with both hands. "You're a pervert."

He gets on his knees as he pulls off my skirt, I keep my legs closed but he smiles. "Let me get a better look, noona."

He slips between my legs and now I try to cover my intimacy with my hands, I shouldn't feel shy but still I can't help it.

"S-Stop it..." I say under my breath, embarrassed.

Riki turns serious as he stares at me. "Really?"

I don't answer. Why don't I answer? Seeing him smile all of a sudden, I swallow awkwardly.

I told Heeseung that I wouldn't do anything like that with Riki...but then...why don't I push him away? Then again, would it really do any good to humor Heeseung? This excited kid in front of me doesn't seem to demur as he kisses me on the lips this time.

Unexpected.

"Noona, you are so pretty." He whispers as he grabs me by the waist and helps me sit on his lap, his back to me.

"Riki...I don't think...it's okay..."

He moves my hair, gathering it over one shoulder, kissing the nape of my neck; I shiver. "You worry about useless things."

He says this before unbuttoning his jeans, again, I feel him as he pulls out his cock and rests it on my bare back. Fuck, it looks really huge.

"Can you take it all in this position?" He chuckles sadistically.

I'm shaking, but not just from fear. "I-I don't think so... it's too big."

He grabs my knees, forcing me to spread my legs, toward the driver's seat, which faces me from the mirror. "Then you'll have to make an effort."

He thus begins to masturbate me, I am surprised, because he knows exactly how and where to touch me to perfectly stimulate my clitoris. I gasp, clinging to the front seats.

"A-Ah... Riki... in f-front...to him..."

"Don't worry about Mr. Nam." He whispers, biting my earlobe as I grow wetter and wetter.

Instead a little I worry, in fact, I am completely alarmed that I am panting so uncomfortably in front of him. I realize, as Riki lifts me up by my hips and without any warning shoves his huge cock deep into my pussy, that the driver has become aroused - he is evidently hard. I screamed.

Don't ask why I was looking right there.

Riki starts moving my body with authority, slamming his cock moistened by my humors harder and harder inside. Panting behind me, his voice is beautiful....

"A-Ah... R-Riki... G-Gently..."

"Beg me. - He says, sinking his fingers even deeper into my hips as he pushes me so hard it feels like an earthquake inside the car. - You won't do it anyway, you're a whore."

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck.

My voice comes out erratic but high-pitched as I can't help enjoying the length of him filling me completely. I am so wet that I spurt all over as he simply thrusts more and more brutally into me.

I'm not even sure it all goes in, from the moment he thrusts it in I can't tell. It is as if I am being possessed by a demon that has physically entered my whole body. Since I can touch his legs, when I go back down, I guess it really goes all the way in.

It's unbelievable.

"Ah.... do... slowly... I'm.. I'm..."

"You're so tight, I want to open more you right now." He whispers again, biting my neck and starting to suck in the area where I feel like Heeseung has left his mark.

"Ri...Riki!" I scream, I just can't contain myself, he is using my body like a doll, moving it as he wants, pushing his cock down to my throat while I can only take it.

"You're on the pill, aren't you?" He asks me, focused.

"Y...Yes..."

By dint of watching me, Mr. Nam was about to take the curb. He swerves sharply and I almost hit my head on the window, luckily Riki holds me up with his hand, but then I hear him laughing - all without giving me a second's respite.

"Mr. Nam, you don't want to kill us.... Go ahead and pull over, you should free yourself too."

What? No, wait, isn't this man going to be brought in as well? He's very handsome, sure, I'd really fuck him too, but isn't he a little old? There's still Riki, although now his innocence shouldn't be my priority....

The man nods, and after a few minutes, as I continue to let Riki use me with his cock growing harder and thicker inside me, he changes directions. It is a strangely lonely area, there are a few factories but no residential areas of any kind.

We approach a strange shed, I notice but can't concentrate as Riki continues to fuck me.

We go inside, the lights are all off but after parking, the driver gets out of the car and closes the electronic gate, turning on the lights. I am upset, Riki, on the other hand, is obviously very quiet.

"Now I'm going to fuck you in front of this old pervert, noona." He says, lifting me by the hips and slipping out of me. He grabs my hair, it doesn't hurt but I can tell he wants to dominate me.

"A-Ah... Stop... saying... t-things like that!"

We get out of the car dragging me, when I'm standing up in front of him, I see him throw his tshirt on the ground, then he pushes me against it making me kneel down. "You made Mr. Nam horny...even if he can't touch you, you should make him cum."

He says, as the expressionless man moves closer again.

Riki grabs me by the hair again so that I'm 90 degrees in front of him, practically, at the driver's feet.

Riki pushes his cock back into me, and even though the position has changed, I still feel him dramatically inside. His big balls also slam against my clit, making me enjoy it even more. It is as if they are hitting it.

Mr. Nam wasted no time in pulling his cock of considerable length, but certainly more restrained, starting to masturbate in front of my face.

I don't have to do anything with him, he will just look at me.... Why is it so good for me? Damn.

"Ah..."

"Noona, you really like making men cum, don't you?"

How humiliating, how many humiliations today, but all this only turns me on even more. I'm desperate but I want more and more.... if necessary, maybe I'd even do it with Mr. Nam now.

No, remains lucid Amanda.

"Ah fuck - gasps Riki - should we call Heeseung hyung? This time you won't be able to say... I'm not touching you." He laughs.

Maybe... if I begged him-would he change his mind? "Please... Please... Riki..." My voice is broken, due to his blows.

"He might even jerk off listening to you."

Fuck...if he says these things...no! Let's leave Heeseung out of this!

"I p-pray you..."

"Ah... noona... - sigh tiredly - then you really don't want they to know?"

"N-No..."

"Then you should become my slave." He laughs again, grabbing me by the shoulders and making me stand up while he is still inside me. What a crazy feeling.

Mr. Nam stares at me as he continues to masturbate, his eyes are very cold. Riki starts fucking me again by holding me up by my shoulders, and my breasts bounce in front of the man as the younger kisses my neck and lifting one of my thighs goes in harder.

"Ah!" I shout again.

"I'll keep the secret if you... - seems to freeze and slow down as if he's about to cum -- will let me do anything I want to you."

"R...Riki..."

I don't know what to think; I'm having an orgasm. My voice echoes through the room, below are their masculine breaths of pure pleasure.

"Yes, I will use you whenever I feel like it."

"R...Riki...ah! - I feel like I'm going crazy, he started going hard again. - Don't... I c...c... I can't..."

"Don't piss me off, noona... - He snorts, suddenly abrupt even in his tone of voice. - You enjoy like a bitch and you have...ah.... the nerve to deny it?"

"Mr. Nishimura- the man speaks, sounding like he's about to cum, actually backing away but unable to finish the sentence that his cum splashes against my belly and thighs - fuck...that was not my intention." He curses, surprised at himself.

Riki is equally surprised, as he pulls back but just then I feel him cum inside me. "Oh...fuck...noona..."

I hear him cum for several seconds, as if he really had a lot of it. Then he pulls it out still hard, as his seed slips out of me, I'm about to fall over, I feel my knees go soft, luckily the driver notices and grabs me by the shoulders, even though I see him blatantly looking at my tits, then looking away.

Ah, men.

"Yah! Leave her!" Says, in an almost childlike tone, Riki.

"I apologize." Sighs the man, evidently uncomfortable.

"Sit in the car - the boy tells me, holding me up to sit since the door was already open - do you want some water?"

"Do we have any?" I ask, exhausted.

Riki looks at Mr. Nam, who shakes his head. "Okay, we can buy it."

How cute-no! I have to stop.

Riki hands me a package of tissues. "There's no bathroom here, but we're going home now."

"All right... thanks." I sigh, taking some of them, however I still feel uncomfortable wiping in front of them, Riki notices and coughs.

"Let's not look, okay?" He says, turning around, and the driver does the same.

Ah...why are they all so crazy?

Maybe it's because these are kids who are denied intimacy, what they want is just to get laid and maybe this method can provide for some disorders.... but still, they too would have the right to date whoever they want.

Riki doesn't really seem so bad, though... he's so horny!

I clean up, get dressed, open the door to signal him to come back up, and so in silence we set off home. We don't talk at first, Riki looking at his cell phone, me out the window.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

I nod in confusion. "What about you? Are you used to these things?" I ask seriously.

He doesn't answer right away but I don't know what his expression is, then I hear him breathing deeply. "To what?"

"The exhibitionism, the humiliation."

He pauses again. "It's the things I usually look at on porn sites."

Ah, I feel like I'm talking to a kid, oh right, he is, more than the others by the way.

"I see."

I hear him snort. "You mean to tell me you didn't like it?"

"I loved it. - I answer coldly. - I feel terrible for this."

"Why do you have to go to all this trouble?"

I suddenly turn away, angry. "Why shouldn't I make them? I never wanted anything like that from you."

Riki tightens his lips annoyed, but his gaze is hurt. "But I do want it, isn't that why you're here? Does it bother you that much or is it really for Heeseung?"

I swallow, why does he keep bringing it up? "I'm not so crazy to think I'm interesting for Heeseung! But even so, I don't want anyone to know about what happened. None of them."

"They already know you've been with everyone else." He replies visibly irritated.

"But not with Riki - I say with tight lips, suddenly sad. He's like a big puppy to me, I don't want that kind of relationship. - Everyone but Riki. Riki is more precious."

Why does he look at me so surprised? What did I say that was special? It breaks my heart to suddenly see him so vulnerable, then he turns around proudly.

"You're making fun of me. It's just that I'm not good, am I?"

"Then you don't believe me? - I raise my voice, but I didn't mean to, so he resumes looking at me, looking hurt, and that upsets me. - I don't want that from you, Riki. You've been harassed, abused, and I know you're getting your revenge now, but please don't stop being the carefree, silly Riki."

I know I shouldn't, but I caress his cheek naturally, and although he jerks back perhaps involuntarily, then returns close to my palm and lets me caress him.

"That happened today...do you really want this? I want to keep being your fan, I want to keep loving you as something precious, unattainable. - I smile, I feel like crying. - I loved you all so much."

"Noona..." He says, confused, as I pull my hand away.

"Also - I try to compose myself, wiping away tears quickly - don't base sex on pornography, it hurts and harmful. Don't treat girls like that Shinhye, even if they are as annoying as she is. I wish you were a good person."

"Noona stop lecturing me." He puts on an adorable pout, crossing his arms over chest.

"I'm not lecturing you."

"We can do it without others knowing."

Really? Is he serious? NO! It doesn't matter!

"Riki! You know I didn't mean that.."

"Do you really want this? Fine." He seems to throw in the towel, and I breathe out relieved, though a little bitter.

"Are you going to hate me for this?"

"I'll have to think about it." He replies with his back to me as he looks out the window.

Really? Was it that simple? Or is he simply testing me to see if sooner or later I will give in? Of course, I was so close.... he really is... I can't explain it in words, but his mere presence by my side makes me feel heated, restless, a fire.

"They haven't always been bad, though - he snorts, after a while, - but some have been very kind to me."

"Sunoo?" I smile softly.

"Yes, he is a kind hyung. Jongseong, too..."

"What about Jake?"

Shit, I ask aloud. He turns and stares at me in silence for several seconds, then snorts. "Not him."

"You two looked close, from the outside." But why am I continuing to talk?

"We look like a lot of things, from the outside."

"I hoped he'd at least been nice to you." I admit embarrassed.

Maybe because deep down I hoped he was a nice person.

Riki twists his lips noisily, back to looking outside. "He was, but then...he turned out to be what he is. That's all."

The way he turns on his cell lets me know that the conversation is over here, he's put a period on it. Maybe that's okay, I certainly can't ask him for the details of the situation.... not yet, clearly.

We get home feeling really exhausted, I want to take a shower but I guess I'll have to wait for Riki since he doesn't have a bathroom in his room. He heads to his room, motioning me to follow him.

"Set up wherever you want." He says, picking up some clothes piled on the bed to move them to the desk chair.

This room is definitely a mess, actually looking like a teenager's room....

"Shall I wait for you to shower?" I ask him.

He takes off his shirt in front of me. "No, you go ahead. You have...a lot to clean up."

Indeed.

I thank him with a nod, then go to Jay's room to get some clothes; he's not back yet thankfully. I don't know who is home right now, but the apartment is very quiet.

As I am about to enter the bathroom a ghost appears behind me, grabbing me by the arm and making me turn around.

Whoever doesn't die... meet again.

"Did you have a good time today? How many times did he fuck you? - He exclaims without turning around, looking at me as if I were dressed like a prostitute. - Do you like fucking children?"

Taken aback, I watch him. Actually he has hardly ever been so scurrilous, so what's wrong with him all of a sudden? He seems nervous but I don't understand why he should be.

"Ew, can you not talk like that? Riki is not a child anyway." Only after I speak do I realize that I have given a very different answer than I had thought.

The moor stares at me for a long time, thinning his gaze in annoyance. "So he fucked you."

Why is he surprised? They all forget why I am in this house. "No, I didn't." I blatantly lie.

"Liar."

"If you don't believe me, it's better so you stay away from me." I reply.

I actually sound swaggering, but I can't even get a good look at his face that my heart rises in my throat. It's just that I keep thinking about Riki's words, his claim that Sunghoon really has interest in me... it's not that I'm deluding myself, it's just that such information is hard to handle, even if it's false.

"As if you really wanted." He sneers, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What do you want S-Sunghoon? Don't you have plans?"

"Cute - he says, sticking a finger in the neckline of my T-shirt to lower it slightly - your clothes." He does it again, like that day in Jay's balcony.

"I don't want to waste any more time - I blurt out, turning away from him, not understanding how he dares to act like this after what happened tonight - have a good evening, Sunghoon."

I go to go inside the bathroom but he grabs me by the wrist, looks at me for several seconds, then his gaze shifts to the hickey that stupid Heeseung left me.

"Tomorrow my shift starts, remember?"

"You're going to say you're not going to fuck me, and then that's the first thing you're going to do?" I provoke him, since he just won't let me go.

"How vulgar, oh my God."

I smile in frustration; that's a wall in front of me, not a human. "Are you done?"

"Sure - smiles the asshole in turn - but first tell me, who did that to you? Heeseung or Riki?"

I swallow, not seeing why I should tell him. "Is that your business?"

"You don't want to answer because it's Riki? You really are the worst - I thought you would at least behave well with him." He has a voice that flaunts superiority, contempt.

"It wasn't him! I told you nothing happened with Riki!" But why do I justify myself to Sunghoon? Why do I do what he wants?

He who had looked away offended, now stares at me again, his eyes serious, perhaps surprised? "Oh, yeah? - I force my arm for him to let go of me, but he tightens his grip. - And tell me, what does Heeseung think about last night?"

What the... What kind of question is that? What does it mean and why does he care? Maybe I got into the middle of a power war, maybe I haven't realized what's going on yet.

"What?"

"You understand very well." He answers seriously.

"No, I didn't understand anything. Last night? What happened last night?" I ask, wanting him to admit it, wanting to hear him say it.

The result, however, is that I see him get so impatient that he lets go of my wrist to grab my face and squeeze my cheeks. "You... you won't tell me? Then I'll have to find out for myself tomorrow."

I swallow rightly frightened, but also very intrigued, lucky I don't have to admit it.... But fine, let him make all the plans he wants - I will refuse, and that's within my rights. If that's not enough, then I'll ask Heeseung for help... though I'm not sure I can really trust him.

I immediately thought of Jay, but by now things have broken down between us and he will obviously no longer be my ally.

"I will refuse."

"We'll see." He chuckles, letting me go and walking away.

He is dressed to go out, meaning he will leave. I watch him disappear down the hall and then sigh, entering the bathroom. I have to send a message to Heeseung, despite everything I've been thinking about it.

im home

He never answered my question and that makes me sigh with sadness, but I put on the music and try not to think about it. I take a long relaxing shower but at one point I feel like I'm going to pass out and hold on to the walls, I almost slipped.

I got terribly dizzy, it would be better to get out as soon as possible. After combing my hair I rinse, cover myself with my robe and sit for several seconds, although I am not thinking about anything precisely.

I feel weak, tired, I guess it's because of the situation.

I am emotionally and physically fragile, but it's best to keep this just between me and myself.

After settling down, I reach Riki's room again, after all, this is where I should be today. He is lying on the bed, in his boxers though, I immediately turn my back on him after entering.

"Noona, are you ashamed?" He asks me amused, getting out of bed and joining me.

I swallow, his voice making me seriously tremble. "The bathroom is free..."

Riki gently grabs me by the face, making me turn around, I shiver. "You look a little pale, noona."

"Really?" I ask.

I actually know I'm not feeling too well, but I don't want to give it away, preferring to wait for him to go wash up and get some rest. He's watching me, looking worried but I don't understand if I should believe him, after all, I'm still a stranger.

Being I here for work, if I were sick I would be a nuisance. Besides, I'm supposed to have my doctor's appointment after tomorrow anyway, so I can get some vitamins or supplements prescribed.

"Shall I order medicine?" He asks me.

I can't speak at the moment, I look at him in silence, he seems so...thoughtful. "N-no, you don't need it! I'll wait to see the doctor so he can tell me what products to take."

"Are you feeling weak? Vitamins don't need a prescription - he sighs, why does he do that? - Sunoo hyung has so many."

"It's ok, really!"

"Explain how you feel."

Oh fuck, Riki, if you do that it will seriously look like you care about me or my health. I sigh, thinking that if nothing had happened today, together (xtomorrow? but reverse) with him and his friends, I'd feel more comfortable now, I'd make less trouble.

But this sort of dissonance between his caring and his sexual urges makes me feel apprehensive.

"It's nothing, I just feel a little weak. It must be fatigue, I haven't slept much."

Riki takes me by the hand, while wearing only his underwear (funny), and helps me sit on his bed. "I'll go wash up, in the meantime I'll call Sunoo hyung. Do you have any pain? Are you feeling dizzy or nauseous?"

"I feel a little dizzy." I confirm.

"Get some rest while I try to figure out what I can salvage."

He says this while wearing sweatpants. I try to look away as I lie on the bed, too tired to feign embarrassment. Riki walks over and looks down at me for a few seconds before placing his palm on my forehead.

"Well, you don't seem to have a fever."

"Like a fever... fever... fever..." I hum, I'm an idiot.

The boy bursts out laughing. "You also have a sense of humor, then you're really okay!"

"I'm fine, I told you. It's strange if you worry for me."

He crosses his arms over his chest. "Why? You said you wanted to be friends."

I arch an eyebrow, feeling strange that he gave any weight to these words. "Really?"

"Friends care."

Ah, it's strange. A man's body, a man's voice, several other manly things..... but I still feel like I'm talking to a kid, and it's the sweetest feeling.

I smile faintly. "Thank you."

I see Riki stiffen and turn away surprised at my words. "So...I'm going. I'll be back in a little while."

I nod tiredly, leaning more comfortably on his pillow. "See you later." I say, before closing my eyes.

I don't think I will sleep, but resting my eyes will help.

I feel Riki leave the room, I stay in his scented sheets, his pillow smells like his hair, it is a very pleasant pungent and masculine fragrance.

Eventually, however, I fall asleep anyway, it is too relaxing.

When I open my eyes it seems to have gotten dark outside, Riki is not in the room and may never have returned. I sit on the bed and stretch, actually sleeping has been really good for me, what a nice feeling.

I look at the nightstand looking for my phone but find a glass of water and some vitamin packets there, a method they use in South Korea but not only, to organize them septically.

I shouldn't trust them too much, they could very well be drugs but it would seem pointless to waste them on me who should be doing everything they tell me anyway.

I smile amused, I don't really mean it after all.

However since I'm better, I don't take them and head out of the room. I hear talking toward the living room, I don't know if I should approach, but in fact I don't know what to do.

I see Jungwon in a tank top sitting on the floor, he is eating together with Jay who immediately notices me, as does the leader.... I was actually looking for Riki.

"Are you okay? Niki said you weren't feeling well." Jungwon asks me, apparently concerned.

Jay has his back to me and goes back to eating, saying nothing, and that creeps me out.

"I was a little tired... that's all." I explain, embarrassed.

"Come, eat with us."

I look at the clock on the wall and note with surprise that I have slept for quite a while, since it is dinner time.

"Ah...don't worry!"

"Are you looking for Riki? - Jay asks me from behind, his voice really cold, he doesn't sound resentful but indifferent, which is worse. - He's gone out, he'll be back in a little while. Did you take your vitamins?"

"No...I don't think they're needed. I'm much better now." I reply, my eyes downcast.

The house is actually very quiet apart from them. I wonder if Heeseung answered, since I left the room without finding the phone.

"Come on don't be shy, sit down." Jungwon smiles, returning to his meal.

I nod shyly and walk over, sitting on the floor (since they are eating on the low table) on the side farthest away from them, I would feel uncomfortable getting too attached. They look like homemade dishes, Jay probably cooked them, look really good.

"Why do you sit so far away, noona?" The younger man asks, grabbing me by the loose T-shirt I'm wearing to get closer to him, as if I don't weigh anything.

I can't believe I've heard him say noona to him, too....

He's really handsome up close, looking fake.

"Where have you been? Have you been paying attention?" Jay asks, picking up some vegetables with his wand and bringing them elegantly to his mouth.

I stay to observe how incredibly ethereal he looks even as he eats. "It was a restaurant."

"You had lunch, just you two? Like a date?" The young leader seems genuinely surprised as he picks up a few bites from each plate in a bowl and places it in front of me.

"No.... there were friends." I say this so softly that the two look at me confused.

"What friends?" Jay is the one speaking.

Should I tell him? I don't want Heeseung to know, and I think it would come out if I said it now, though... what if I lie and everyone finds out? What a figure...

Am I being selfish? I guess so.

"Just... Soobin and Yeonjun."

Jungwon bursts out laughing and choking, Jay puts down his chopsticks visibly irritated. "That brat... Did they do something to you?"

Ouch, that hurts.

Maybe it's because it seems to me that even if everyone knew, they would only worry about their pride, while Jay is probably really worried about me. He knows men in a way that men do not accept.

I look at him silently, smile automatically but it is the most painful smile I have made since I have been in Korea.

"No, don't worry."

"Really?" He asks, not believing me.

Jungwon wipes himself with a napkin, then turns to me. "Yeonjun is a pervert, I know him."

"They were g-gentle, then, this time." I continue to smile but increasingly nervously.

"I just want to remind you that you're not a fan here. - It says rigid Jongseong. - Think of your own safety."

"Seriously, stay away from Yeonjun." Laughs his friend, resuming eating.

I can't help but wonder why I didn't leave when Jay asked me at first. I look at him with a broken heart because really, maybe he... is the only one. But there is also the Jay of this morning who is freaking creepy.

"I like Soobin better, he's more elegant." I reply, noting Jay is actually very stylish too, even in his home clothes.

"I would date Soobin too if I were a girl." Jungwon says, helping me lighten the mood.

"You can do it even if you are a boy." Jay replies, picking up his chopsticks tiredly.

The younger man looks at him. "Oh yeah, that sounds too complicated to me."

"You should do whatever you want."

Yeahm.... when and where do you hear a guy in his position making such speeches? It seems strange to me, though, that Jungwon would react like that since in short...I always thought that among them at least one homosexual had to be, statistically speaking. Not to mention the various applications like bisexuality increasing the percentage.

"What about you hyung? - Jungwon asks, shrugging his shoulders in a cute and silly way. - Would you go out with me with no problem?"

Jay slowly lifts his gaze to his friend, smiles amused. "Anytime, Wonnie."

I see Jungwon blush blatantly and cover his mouth with his hand. "Hyung you are the worst."

"Don't react too cutely." He replies in a deep voice.

Excuse me? I feel both too much and horny, is that normal?

The front door clicks open, contrary to my belief it is neither Riki nor Heeseung but Jaeyun. He takes off his shoes and then lifts his gaze to us.

"I'm home."

"Have you eaten?" Jay asks.

I see the beautiful, enchanting, amazing Jake turn a confused, naive puppy.... like gaze on me. "Where's Riki?"

"I guess he saw some friends for a smoke." Won replies.

I tighten my lips in concern. "Does he do this often?"

"When he doesn't, you should ask." Sighs Jake, sitting next to Jay and watching me for several seconds.

"He'll stop when he goes into burnout." Nods Jungwon.

Jongseong twists his lips. "Don't be so quiet."

"As long as we make him think it's weird, he'll do it out of rebellion. But he can't keep up these rhythms by smoking all the time." Instead, the leader explains very calmly.

"His loss. - He mumbles Jake as he seems to get a better look at me, then rolls his eyes in surprise. - Yah, was it Niki?"

I blink a few times, confused. "Huh?"

"The hickey!" He raises his voice.

Oh right, I had completely forgotten about that! Instinctively I cover the compromised part, then realizing it's no use I sit back composed with my eyes downcast.

"No, he didn't do it."

Silence. A long silence between us.

"Ah, it was Heeseung, huh?" Sighs Jaeyun, who, on the contrary, doesn't seem as bothered.

Is it not that he is jealous of Riki? I'm fantasizing, I evidently read too much BL in my teens.

I am lying, however, because in the shower I saw that Riki chose exactly the place where Heeseung had branded me, covering it with a larger patch.

They all resume eating in silence, Jay being the only one who seems really annoyed, who knows precisely about what. Jake on the contrary seems disappointed, but not angry.

What they all have in common though is that no one is criticizing or attacking me. They... they are the only normal ones?

I eat my first bite of the evening when the front door clicks again. I look up and immediately meet Heeseung's eyes, geez...geez! Is my heart beating? Please, no.

"Yah, you idiot! Don't you have a phone?"

Jungwon arches his eyebrows and turns to the older. "Do you have her number?"

I'm the one he should ask. "Aren't you going to answer it?" Heeseung blatantly ignores him, turning to me.

I spontaneously smile. "What? I don't know where my phone is, I was sleeping."

He huffs as he picks up his phone and has a really annoyed expression, then does something with it but I don't understand what and takes off his shoes, stepping back in.

"Have you eaten?" Jay asks, also to him.

Heeseung shakes his head. "If you haven't prepared extra I'll order takeout."

"No, it's bad for you - sighs the younger one, though he acts like an older brother as he gets up. - I'll just take a second, sit down in the meantime."

Despite everything, he can't help but worry about the health of his members, this really makes him similarly a leader. I can't help but follow him with my eyes as he goes back to the kitchen and Heeseung stands in the side of the table between Jake and me.

"All you do is look at him." Complains my peer, catching my attention.

I look at him, not wanting to but surprised he says it in front of everyone. "It's nice of him to take care of dinner for you."

He gives me a bad look, looking like a shaggy kitten. "The perfect hubby, right?"

"And you, if you were girls, would you date Jongseong?" Jungwon asks.

Jake glares at him. "Do you have to be a girl?"

"So to speak." Mumbles Jungwon, eating his bite.

Heeseung mumbles loudly. "No. I would only date bad boys."

Jaeyun seems to chuckle softly. "Then would you date Sunghoon?"

"W-what? No! I would date me!"

"You're not a bad boy." Jungwon comments.

Heeseung is incredulous and outraged. "What? Would I be a good boy? Me?"

"You're definitely not bad, maybe stupid or superficial." Sighs Jake.

I laugh as I chew, so I cover my mouth. The oldest man in the band looks at me offended. "What makes you laugh?"

"The idea of you dating Sunghoon. - I admit, imagining that it really should be an amazing show. - It's cute."

"I wonder who would be on top." The leader wonders aloud.

Jake stifles laughing. "Stop, please."

"Fucking laughing, of course I'd be on top."

"It's funny because you take it seriously." Jungwon says.

We all burst out laughing, even Heeseung.

Yes, because after all he is happy to have monopolized everyone's attention, this obviously pleases him. I don't understand, I should find this unbearable and creepy but for some reason I feel like I can forgive him, that I want to be understanding.

When Jay returns we resume eating, Heeseung, unlike all the others who seem like true princes as they eat (apart Jaeyun who is not exactly composed but not too disheveled either), gorging himself without dignity and his expression fulfilled by the food is fantastic. He looks genuinely happy; he doesn't usually have this expression.

"Where is Niki?" Heeseung asks with his mouth full, gross.

Jungwon seems to sense a noise before the others. "There he is."

In fact, the door clicks right after his words, and although it creeps me out, what really scares me is seeing Sunghoon when I was expecting Riki.

He first looks at Heeseung, says nothing, then quickly looks at me and ducks down to take off his shoes.

What a strange feeling to be in the same room with both of them.

"Have you eaten Hoon?" Jungwon asks, anticipating Jay who didnʼt seem to want to say anything this time.

"Yes." He answers coldly, then sets off to his room without saying anything else.

When I turn to Heeseung I see him with a stooped look and a confused expression. He has stopped eating and his cheeks are still full, he is really cute, even now, looking like a squirrel. Jake on the contrary eats quietly, but it is obvious that the mere sight of Sunghoon has unnerved him.

Eventually they get to talking about jobs, commitments, the comeback coming up soon that will take them away for a long time, with promotions and touring. I look at them wondering what I will be doing then during that time - but of course I don't have the courage to ask.

"What are we going to do with her?" Jungwon asks, seeming to read my mind.

I look at him in silence. "She's coming with us." Heeseung replies.

"I don't think we can do that." Jay reminds him.

Jake sighs. "Indeed. It's dangerous for her, too."

"We certainly can't leave her here."

Heeseung... everything you say hurts me. You're so good at deluding me, I can tell you've taken a liking to it, but I don't think I'm that strong.

"Why?" Jaeyun asks coldly.

"What?"

"Why can't we leave her here?"

Jongseong coughs, getting up holding his plate. "Put everything in the dishwasher, don't leave a mess."

He looks annoyed. Jungwon looks at him amused, then sighs and rests his chopsticks on his plate, picking up the empty bowls before following his hyung into the kitchen.

Who knows what they will talk about alone.

"Aren't you too involved?" Jake asks suddenly, as Heeseung resumes eating.

"Am I involved? I'm welcoming. I treat her like the others."

The younger man smiles, before taking another bite. "Maybe you're right. - He lift his gaze to me, and I lower it. - Give me your number."

I blink in surprise. "Huh? Sure..."

Heeseung gives him a bad look but says nothing. Telling him the number, he jots it down. When things have gotten really tense, here comes Sunghoon, and this time I'm the one who puts my chopsticks down on the table, sighing.

He sits on the floor, instead of Jungwon, so next to me. I shudder.

"Hadn't you eaten?" Heeseung asks, annoyed to see him take a bowl from under his nose and approach it.

"In fact, I did have dinner. I worry about you, I don't gain weight anyway."

I know he's been willfully being a jerk to his bandmates, and I'm too annoyed to stay so I take my plate and stand up, Heeseung watching me silently but not stopping me, unlike Sunghoon who pulls me from the oversize shirt I'm wearing more like a dress.

He seems to laugh, then barely lifts the fabric, not discovering me but this alarms me and I jerk away.

Fuck.

"Yah, what the fuck are you doing?" Heeseung blurts out.

Sunghoon laughs. "I thought you were wearing shorts. You walk around like that in a house full of men?"

"It's not like they're all like you." I reply boldly, even though I feel like dying.

"There's no need for you to leave just because I'm here. - He tells me, suddenly serious. - And anyway, yes, everyone."

Riki re-enters at that moment, looking dazed, maybe it's true that he's been smoking. He certainly is. He looks at me surprised, then smiles genuinely.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks.

"Are you sick?!" Heeseung and... Sunghoon ask almost alarmed. Is that so?

"Have you finished dinner? Let's go to bed."

It's not exactly bedtime, but what can I do but nod? He puts a hand behind my back and walks me into the kitchen, ignoring all his hyung.

"Sorry, I thought you were sleeping longer."

"Where have you been?"

He looks at me for several seconds, then we walk into the kitchen. "I was with friends."

"Riki, you need to be careful."

"Don't lecture me, I told you." He complains, taking the plate out of my hands to put it in the sink in front of Jongseong, who is sprucing up the cooking area.

Jungwon, sitting at the kitchen table, smiles amusedly. "Riki, will you stop doing drugs? Honestly, do you want to be poor again because of a couple of joints?"

The young boy is surprised but equally amused. "I only smoke with colleagues, if I get exposed they get caught too. Let's be careful, we're all boys and we don't meet girls. Don't be on my case too."

"You're japanese, forget it?" Sighs Jay, concerned.

"But I'm too handsome, koreans are dumb enough to get over it. I also have a dick."

"Don't think koreans are so obvious." Jungwon reminds him, who doesn't seem to be taking the conversation seriously.

"Surely koreans girls are." Riki explains.

He should not talk like that about his korean fangirls, Riki, just as is often the case in Korea, is so prejudiced against them. I look at him worried and disappointed, he notices.

"What?"

"Riki, they love you. You shouldn't disappoint them."

"They want me. They don't care about me."

"Noona, Riki has had bad experiences." Jungwon says smilingly, though his gaze is sharp and serious.

"With adult women, right? - I ask, remembering the time he was assaulted by a saesaeng visibly much older than him at the airport, or the lady who touched him under the guise of frisking him. - Then you shouldn't be dating woman of 30."

He snorts like a kid. "She's twenty-seven."

"But didn't you say you didn't like older girls?" Jay asks curiously.

"I was saying that to reassure the fans and ward off the crazy chicks."

So...isn't it that maybe he took the trauma and made it part of his personality? It's terrible to think that after being molested, he would hang out with adult women (whom he probably mistreats).

"My guess is you're just saying that because Amanda is there." The leader laughs again.

"Even if it is, so what?" He replies, suddenly annoyed by grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me away.

I can see Jay following me with his gaze; I can't help but return it.

"Have you eaten?" I ask him as we walk down the hallway.

He tightens his shoulders. "Yes, don't worry." He says it but doesn't seem convinced.

We are stopped by Heeseung, who seeks my gaze. "Why are you dragging her into the room?"

Riki snorts, approaching me by the wrist. "I'm not dragging her, I'm accompanying her."

"I need to talk to her for a moment." Says the older.

"Try again, you'll have better luck." Riki replies, continuing to walk toward his room with me, but Heeseung grabs him by the shoulder, blocking him abruptly.

"I said I need to talk to her."

I look at him and am stunned, what should we talk about? What else will he have to tell me? It's all part of his strategy, probably.

"I told you not tonight."

Heeseung snorts, incredulous. "What did you have this afternoon? - He ignores him, turning to me - Why were you sick? Do you feel strange?"

Maybe he thinks they are the symptoms of pregnancy, but he would have to be really stupid to believe that since they would never manifest so quickly.

"I'm fine."

"She took the vitamins I gave her, that's why she's fine!" Responds Riki who may not be feeling involved enough in the conversation.

I nod even though it's not true. "Don't worry, you're not serious after all." I tell him.

Heeseung just didn't expect it, he remains silent for several seconds until he hears Riki laughing. "Really? You think that?"

I...I don't know. If you ask me with these hurt eyes, this pitiful look I...I can't.

I stay staring at him this time I wordlessly. Do I really believe that, since I said it out loud? Do I believe Riki more than Heeseung? Maybe so, but then why don't I answer?

"Let's go to sleep."

I lower my gaze. "Ok..." I follow the boy in silence, leaving Heeseung in the middle of the hallway.

My heart hurts, again. He..... looks really sad. Maybe he's pretending, but I'm not, I'm so sad.

ok ATTENTION i have a very unhealthy idea... don't know if you know the sims 4 but there are some very interesting mods of this game that could create funny video material inherent to the story hahahahahha i realize it's so silly but let me know what you think ;) i feed on cringe

do not fear for the fourth shift, because there will be an extra chapter, it will be short promise

NEXT CHAPTER:

--------

immediately after the events of this chapter:

[cheerfullycatholic]

Hey, this is totally random, and honestly I apologize for dumping this out on your blog. But I need to talk to someone and I don't know what to do.

Hi, I've been in a relationship for about 4 years now. I love him with all of my heart. But I've been thinking of leaving.

I need to know if I'm justified in this. If maybe this is a push from God, or something, to get out.

He's always been insecure, I've always had to reassure him. Constantly. It was fine at first, but it's exhausting sometimes. It feels like I have no privacy. When I am on my phone, he asks what I am doing, when I am talking to someone, he asks what we are talking about and makes sure that I'm "not talking about him". I have to tell him what I write in my journal, just in case it's about him. He says he doesn't read it, but I don't entirely believe him, or think he wouldn't.

He usually sits in the bathroom while I shower. If I have my phone to play music, it's suspicious to him. If I'm on the couch or anything and my phone is face down, it's suspicious to him.

He has gone through my phone before behind my back. He has told me about the one time, but I suspect there's others.

He doesn't want to go through RCIA or attend Catholic mass. Something I have been passionate about, or at least was, until he ruined it. We would fight every time I wanted to go to church. He would make me feel so selfish for dragging him along. So I stopped fighting it. I never asked him to be a member. I just asked him to learn with me, to explore. But he doesn't want to. Now, he wants to pick a different church. I said I would. Because I don't know what else to do. Mind you, it is non negotiable that we have to attend the same church, he will not compromise.

We talk to each other about our expenses which I don't mind, but often, when I want to buy things, he calls it a waste of money. But when he wants to buy things, it's not. I have spoke to him about this, it doesn't seem to change.

We have to eat the same foods for dinner. I can't eat things that are different from him. I don't know why.

I have an opportunity to get a college degree with a mild commute. He doesn't want me to take it because we won't work in the same town anymore. And he is worried I will meet someone more interesting and leave.

I have told him that I'm doing it no matter what. But when I bring it up, he shuts down, or gets angry.

Our intimate life has been lacking, as I have had issues with pain during and after, and hormonal imbalances, due to possible Endo. While I know it's been out of wack for the better part of two years, and that can be frustrating, it seems he really isn't understanding about it. After about 3 weeks going without intimacy, he gets depressed, and ends up either arguing with me, or making me feel bad because it must mean that "he's not attractive to me" or "I think he's gross". I can understand insecurities stemming from that. But it's a struggle for me too, and I'm literally scheduled for a surgery to fix things and diagnose. That doesn't seem to matter. I feel like I have to constantly prove myself loyal to him. Even though he says he trusts me, I constantly have to tell him I'm not cheating on him.

I can't talk to him about this, because I'm almost certain nothing will change, and it will just make him more insecure. I'll have to reassure him more. And I can't. I don't have any more to give. I can't talk to anyone about this through text or anything because I know he'll find out somehow. That's why I'm doing an anon ask, so that it will not be in my notifications.

Am I wrong for feeling suffocated? Is this unhealthy? I don't know what to do. I have no family where I live, they're halfway across the country. I feel so trapped.

Oh my gosh, Anon, that's awful. I can't imagine how hard being in that position must be and I'll be praying for you both 🖤

You are absolutely justified in leaving and I recommend you do so soon. I won't rant but, man, that is far from a healthy relationship and you deserve better. But please, be safe. I hate to assume, but do you think he'd be the type to lash out? Just from what you've told me, I personally wouldn't trust him to just let me leave. If you think it wouldn't be safe, maybe have a friend or even a police officer there with you, just in case. I wish I knew what else to say. Maybe someone else will have something to add?

I really hope you'll both be okay and that you'll be able to get through this safely. I wish there was more I could do

[kr-han]

HiGH&LOW Random Fun Facts That You May Not Know

Disclaimer: SWORD only and the list is so random, so bear with me.

Cobra loves cupcakes, he probably has sweet tooth.

Cobra styles his hair according to his mood (not like bad or good but more like he's fired up enough or not).

Cobra has A LOT of red clothing. His real name is Hino Junpei (緋野盾兵) and the first character which is 緋 can also be read as aka which means red or scarlet.

He loves Antonio Inoki (a pro-wrestler) so much and make it his whole personality (including his red scarf).

When Cobra is drunk, he would shout, "Inoki-san, genki desuka!?". In MUGEN era, he would do it with Kohaku for the rest of the night.

Cobra admires Kohaku so much because he thinks Kohaku resembles Antonio Inoki.

Cobra has small appetite not even 1/10 of Yamato's. But he eats cupcakes.

Cobra can't draw.

Cobra didn't use sticker on LINE (the messanger).

Cobra and Yamato can't speak English. They're probably the type who'd say, "We're Japanese we don't need English!"

Yamato is afraid of cats. The reason is cat can get long.

Yamato's insult never sounds like one.

Noboru favorite food is sea cucumber. He's sea cucumber maniac.

According to Cobra Noboru type is a girl with glasses.

Dan on the other hand, can draw well. But he can't draw woman.

Rocky is a little clumsy, he forgot small things like key.

Hyuga always sleeps whenever there's no fighting nor something exciting to do.

Murayama loves corndog.

Murayama dislikes sharing his food.

G-SWORD's leaders alcohol tolerance: Cobra is rather low, Rocky is rather high, Murayama prefer to eat than drink (but according to Nakazono, Murayama didn't make any different when he's drinking or not), Hyuga prefer to sleep than anything else, and Smoky can't.

According to Kizzy, Rocky becomes a foolish/idiotic old man when he's drunk. Kizzy also said, "When he's drunk, he got no dignity whatsoever."

Murayama's favorite alcohol beverage is ryokucha-hai (which a combination of green tea and shochu. Might be wrong though, you can search: 緑茶ハイ).

Hyuga's favorite alcohol beverage is shochu.

When Oya part timer go to karaoke, they sing girl idols' songs.

Masaki do all the house chores in Amamiya's households from cleaning up to cooking.

Hiroto's favorite food is curry.

When Hiroto cooks, he only cooks curry.

Takeru is forgetful. Masaki has to remind him all the time. Hiroto? He waits to be petted by his aniki.

Kaito and Kizzy have a couple ring and they use it as necklace.

In HiGH&LOW The Movie, Kaito and Kizzy joined the fight but there's no single footage of them fighting. But they appeared before the fight and after the fight with some bruises.

From End of Sky to Final Mission, Cobra didn't wear his red scarf anymore.

Despite using his red scarf as a personality, Cobra didn't use it to fight beside for his character introduction scene in episode 1.

Ichigo Milk has been inviting Naomi to join them, but Naomi refuses due to Itokan. She wants to take care what's left by her brother.

Naomi can actually beat dudes.

Murayama keeps the strawberry bag from Oshiage and he uses it as a pillow.

Ice gave Sarah a teddy bear (and a necklace).

Ice can cook and according to Mighty Warriors' member, Ice's curry tasted like seafood when he uses zero seafood ingredients. Apparently, it matched the actor's fun fact: Elly's curry always tasted like he put seafood in it even when he's not.

There was once, Seki dressed up in sailor uniform for karaoke. Of course, they sing girl idols' songs.

Toutetsu brothers cook for Hyuga, but he sleeps almost all day long, so Katou needs to wake him up just to eat.

Ukyou cooks better than Sakyou.

Ukyou needs to separate Daruma's income into envelopes and hide them because if not, Hyuga would splurge the income into zero. Hyuga can't manage money.

Lala reads books for the kids in Mumeigai, and they literally have reading time with Lala.

Furuya has truck driver's license.

Murayama durability is top notch and it resemble his given name which is Yoshiki. His full name written like this 村山良樹 and Yoshiki (良樹) is consist of characters that mean good or skilled, and trees or wood. He's a skilled trees or wood, or whatever but that clearly means that his durability is on another level. That's why he could bear the 100 punches challenge and still fight back after that.

Hiroto and Smoky loves cat.

Murayama talked to a cat. (He's cat, but also puppy; whatever he's cute).

Murayama introduced Todoroki to Cobra in person.

Murayama has 4 vans' shoes and a pair of converse. (Haven't count how many jackets he has though, might count it when I rewatch).

At least, Tsukumo has been hit by the car twice. He should avoid getting near cars. No cars near him, please.

White Rascals' outfit are all white and it's hard to keep it clean. The visual line (Shimura, Bito, Aizawa, and Enari) has a hard time because they spend so much money for laundry and cleaning. Little did they know, Rocky actually could paid 80% of their cleaning cost. But Rocky didn't say it to them because he knows that they would be worried about how to pay Rocky back. (Rocky is so sweet). Probably the only guys that use this privilege only Koo and Kaito.

Rocky paid 100% of the girls' laundry and cleaning cost (including Kizzy).

Rocky's surname, Mutsugi, is actually a word play. It's written as 六ツ木 in Japanese. Which the character 六 can be read as mutsu (mu for short) or roku (ro for short) and it means six; ツ is a katakana for tsu and in hiragana it's written like this つ. When tsu is written small in between characters (it's called sokuon) like っ/ッ it purposes is to geminate the next character; and 木 is ki and it means tree. If we put them together and make the tsu as sokuon, we'll get 六ッ木 which read as ろっき in hiragana and ロッキ in katakana (both are rokki) we got his name, Rocky (ロッキー).

Source: rewatching the series and the movies over and over again so I can get into the useful but also useless facts, and the g-sword manga by CLAMP. If you want to read HiGH&LOW g-sword manga by CLAMP you can read HERE for English translation or DI SINI untuk translasi Bahasa Indonesia. Note: Might add more if I find or remember more. Also, I'm sorry there's too much Cobra, can't help though, I love him a little bit too much.

MORE OF IT

[poppykreslina]

Robert Hawkins info Post :

He was a big music fan, here’s a list of artists Rob liked.

1. MushroomHead

2. HIM band

3. BlackStreet

4. Misfits

5. Dr Dre

6. DMX

7. Lil wyte

8. Judas Priest

9. Dope

10.Wall

Anything besides country music

His close Friend he was living with at the time told me about the time when he seen Rob return to school after being sent away. He said “ So a couple years go by and l'm in computer class and he's just like heyyyy what's up man and I go holy shit Robby what's up like where have you been. And I remember him telling me he was like man I got sent away like I tried to kill my step mom because she was being a bitch I sprayed raid on her food. And to me at the time I was like kind of laughing like are you serious and just it sounded so stupid it was kind of funny and l'm just like wth hell but we started talking again just immediately picked up right where we left off we were laughing like hyenas never laughed so hard in my life”

“ We would tell jokes and stories and make fun of people and this time it was like we were best friends I'd see him in the halls and say hi but we never hung out out side of class”

His friend also told me about Kaci. The girl he cheated on like twice

“ I knew Kaci and we were talking and they met then rob asked me if Kaci could come over and yeah they hooked up in my basement lol

I could hear it and it was the funniest thing ever”

“ I remember when he got her too like I was jealous because I had a crush on her for the longest and she was hot she liked me but as soon as she met Rob she was just like omg he's the sexiest person I ever seen and I'm like who rob and you look at him and he's all feeble and like ohhh h-h-heyyyy”

“ My friends were there too and yeah... He put the work in on that poor girl

She was screaming his name and you just heard this smacking noise we were like damn rob”

The girl Rob threatened

“ So the girl that he threatened or whatever was his ex girlfriend and I don't know what they were arguing about but I think it was because he wanted to go back to his girlfriend Kaci he cheated on her with that girl and then he apologized to Kacie said he loved her and didn't want to be with the other girl and she flipped out or something and he just said like leave me alone or l'm gonna k*ll you

He”

About Robs mom Molly

“ That's what really pissed him off too is his mom didn't want anything to do with him at all until she found out he was living with us and he even told me like man my mom's being all nice I think his mom was just jealous or she thought we had money or something but she tricked him into letting her back in his life and she let him borrow that jeep and he was so happy he's like man I finally got wheels my mom is talking to me then she did what she always did she turned in him told him how pathetic he was and that she wanted all her stuff back and that what did it. He couldn't handle it anymore and he snapped

Idk what that lady's problem is but shes evil”

Friend telling me what it was like when living with him

“ I just remembered like sitting down at the dinner table with him and my parents and we would be eating steak like regularly my dad always got good beef and grilled all the time he would always say how good everything was

And he like our dogs was always petting them”

Fake Fight Scene Vids

“We did like fake fight scenes and off roading four-wheeling we go to gun range film us shooting stuff we made a manikin and threw at people from inside the woods

I had this crappy purple truck but I cut the exhaust off it and put mud tires on it and we like tricked it out we put big huge stereo speakers in the back and black lights“

1. He was 5’7 (I asked a family member so don’t question it 😐)

2. He taught his sisters how to do the “blood” sign

3. His friends grandma made him a blanket and Rob said it was the best thing ever given to him. When the grandma passed away he even cried.

4. He had a stonery type voice lol

5. He would smoke a pack of cigarettes in one day

6. He worked at McDonald’s and Runza

7. Day before the shooting his friend tested out his gun while Rob was at work because he thought they were going to the shooting range the next day . When Rob found out about it he was furious telling his friend “you’re not supposed to touch that” going off on him.

Concerts Rob Went to

MushroomHead (2004)

Kottonmouth (2006-7??) Rob and His friend got kicked out of the venue because they were both caught smoking pot

All info found out by me

[octuscle]

I'm tired of being fat and dateless can you make me a hairy muscle freak who likes having his snake drained if you get what I mean

I'm tired of being fat and dateless, can you make me a hairy muscle freak who likes his snake emptied, if you know what I mean

Well, you're not exactly the catch of the day… Well beyond 300 pounds. It's amazing that you made it to the age of 55 with your blood values. You look much older with your bad skin. Yes, you won't get a date like that… But I'll see what we can do for you.

It's not easy for you to get out of bed in the morning. Neither is taking a shower. You struggle into your jogging suit and sit down at your computer with a box of donuts. Before the pandemic, you were sometimes still in the office. Since then, you've only been able to work from home. You rarely leave the house anymore. What's the point? You take a break after two hours. Dealing with suspected money laundering cases is an annoying job. You drink a large glass of water with a shot of grapefruit juice. And do a few squats and a few press-ups. You've been trying hard to lose weight for two years. You've already lost many kilograms. But the flaps of skin that now hang from your tits and hips are an expensive price to pay. But you feel better for it. But now back to the computer. You get paid by the case.

You have a lunch break with friends. At a vegetarian restaurant a quarter of an hour away. It's raining and at first you wanted to go by car. But you're not a wimp and any exercise is good. So you take the bike. Yes, you look anything but sexy in those rain overalls. But you enjoy the looks when you take it off. You've been training hard and eating healthily for five years. You look quite respectable for a man of 50, even if the sins of the first 45 years of your life still show. But now you don't need to hide among colleagues who are sometimes 15 or even 20 years younger. The food is delicious and it's fun to chat with your colleagues, who you meet far too rarely in the office. It's not easy to lead a team that only works from home. Okay, you're not a good example today, but you try to be in the office as often as possible. If only because you enjoy the bike ride. And because it's close to the swimming pool.

The lunch break took a long time. The afternoon was short. Nevertheless, you finish work at 18:00. You have HIIT at 19:00. At 44, you are one of the oldest participants. But you easily outperform some much younger ones. Your job has been your life for eleven years. But sport is your passion. Giving your all during the day and even more in the evening is your motto. When the course ends at 8 p.m., most of the participants are panting and crawling into the shower more than they are walking. You hit the weights again.

At 11pm, Mike, the gym manager, switches on the emergency lights and turns off the music. Your signal that it's time to end the workout. You are once again the last one on the training area. You pull your T-shirt over your head, drop your pants and post up in front of the mirror. Not too bad for a man in his early 40s. Mike approaches you from behind, hugs you and grabs your nipples. Damn, this guy knows exactly where your on switch is. You're actually a disciplined nerd. But for once you give up an hour of your precious sleep for a good fuck. And if you spend the night at Mike's, you also save yourself the trip to the morning gym before work. So you fuck another round straight away.

Amazing pic found @rickmuscleguy