#you don’t just SAY your star was created alongside someone else’s. i meant it. how else is this ache this powerful?

[aweshole]

i literally feel like i’ve been going insane since october

[1ddotdhq]

◟̽◞̽ Tues 24 Nov ‘20 🐠

Grammy Nominations and Live Shows OH MY!!

LOUIS’ BACK!!! And I don’t mean “oh he liked something on Instagram” or “oh he tweeted about a RHCP concert”, I mean he’s going to be doing a VEEPS LIVESHOW! And so we solve the mystery of the Spotify vids (they were a stage!): a few hours before the announcement, he tweeted, “Hope you’re all doing alright. Exciting stuff coming up!!”, and then left the masses to wonder what could possibly be happening and when. Three anxious hours later: “So excited to announce that I’m getting my band and crew back together to put on a special show for you all that will be streamed December 12 [!!!adkhfkadhfjj!!!] and will be available for 28 hours after. The show will support 5 important causes very close to my heart”. The causes Louis Tomlinson Live From London will support are FareShare (they redistribute food to communities in need), CrewNation (the LiveNation COVID crew fund), StageHand (similar to CrewNation, but UK based), Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice, and paying Louis' own touring crew! The tickets go on sale TOMORROW. If you can't afford one, Luke Massie (founder and CEO of Vibe Tickets) is giving funds away on twitter to fans who want to watch the show! “I’ll do my best to help as many of you as I can see him and his amazing crew perform,” he said. Louis has said that there is no cap on the ticket sales, so I’m taking him at his word and hoping that Veeps is prepared for what's about to happen (they're REALLY not lol.)

And that’s not all!! The press release for the show promised “songs from… ‘Walls”...alongside a few surprises” (I - could it - new music????), as well as “an exclusive range of new merchandise” that comes out tomorrow! The merch proceeds will go to the charities listed above. And! The Telegraph published an interview! Louis promises AN UPCOMING NEW ALBUM (“I had basically penciled down a plan before corona took over our lives”). He says again that he wants to move into the KMM style rock sound, “I think there were some songs where I took slightly more risk and owned what I love, saying, this is who I want to be..there is a certain energy in [KMM], in its delivery, in its attitude, that I want to recreate. People are struggling at the moment so I want to create a raucous, exciting atmosphere in my live show, not a somber, thoughtful one.” He says that he wants this next album to be more optimistic, because that is who he is, but new songwriting is HARD during a pandemic: for him (like for all of us), his days have fallen into a routine, and so he has no ‘new experiences’ to draw from. And, once again, Louis brings up John Frusciante and how he “fucking wishes” he could chat with him. Louis - drop your RHCP stan account PLEASE! We also learned that fans were RIGHT in speculating that he’s been in LA recently (though likely not for the reason the Telegraph wants us to think). About his travels, Louis says, “[The spot he goes to] is remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it... it’s got some very interesting (peculiar?) locals who live there...it feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there.” ANY COMMENT, @/visiteroda??? And, in a rare look ahead, Louis reveals that he wants to manage an all-women’s rock band playing instruments (hey, friend, you know where women could play instruments? YOUR OWN BAND, MY DUDE! Just a suggestion). He said that his process with Syco had become “challenging and frustrating” because the kinds of artists he wants to develop aren’t “ready-made” - he sees a lot of artists that were “rough and ready” but labels want to see “something that works straight away”. But with Syco dust in the wind he can get back to it: HELL YEAH! The band he’s currently got his eyes on is Fickle Friends (an indie Brighton all-female rock band); he says this is the kind of band he wants to manage, “because there’s no one in that space. And I know eventually if I don’t do it, someone else will!”. Guys, I say this a lot, but really, Louis is about to make some WAVES in that space and I can’t WAIT to see it play. But first the concert, please!

AND!!!!!! Harry has been NOMINATED FOR THREE FUCKING GRAMMYS!! GUYS, HE MADE IT! The categories he is up for are: Best Music Video (Adore You - the TASTE), Best Pop Solo Performance (Watermelon Sugar), and BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM! I know that we’re always like, Grammys mean nothing, and how can we feel otherwise 1D was never nominated, but this is a MILESTONE in his career, and I am so happy to see his work getting the recognition it deserves! There were no nominations for him in the general field this year (artist or record of the year) BUT just you WAIT. Everything that Harry does makes me think that he is gearing up for a very long and successful career and I am. Very Happy for him. And so is everyone else! Harry’s friends, family, colleagues, and labels have all been quick to congratulate him on his well deserved recognition. In other Harry news, we got some stills from an Austrailian movie called “Holding the Man” which bear remarkable similarities to the Golden music video. (Were Harry's Vans really in there as a tribute to the film or did that part just work out very well for him??) The movie and the song don’t have anything in common thematically except being gay, but it really looks like a visual homage to this film (or, my personal theory, a fix-it fic to give it a happy ending!). And! Harry was papped on the DWD set with Florence Pugh again today, in a suit and an opulent background - it’s hard to make out Harry’s face, but I think we can guess that it's beaming in pride, as it should be.

GQ Spain did a piece on Liam’s Hugo capsule, praising it for being “the utilitarian style” (“the star trend of 2020”). They’re very nice about it, and seem to be genuinely interested and like the color scheme of the clothes: “the monocolor look...is an irrefutable argument in men’s clothing”. They also praise the collection for being an example that “you don’t need to spend hours in front of a mirror to dress like the best dressed men on the planet”. All of these were meant to be compliments, I SWEAR! Niall was around on Twitter yesterday, reminiscing about the time when some fans asked Justin Beiber to take pictures of them with Niall, it's true Niall that IS hilarious and also good psychic timing: that's EXACTLY how relevant Justin Beiber should be (yes I AM bitter the Weeknd was ROBBED). He also congratulated Shawn Mendes for his documentary, “So proud of this boy. He’s smashed it and always so humble. Well done to everyone involved.X”. I have not seen this documentary but if there are any more “Camila Cabello orders bananas at sushi restaurants moments” PLEASE let me know!

[faulty-writes]

Heyy!

I saw u had tensei on ur masterlist, could you write some fluff for him?

It's fine if not!

Ah, my second favorite Iida boy. He needs more love. 

[ Working for your longtime friend and love interest had its perks, and despite facing the challenges of being the only support agent at Idaten. Things get a little strange when Tensei requests you remove the airbags from his hero suit and while you refuse to go through with it. Tensei continues to try and persuade you, in his own strange way. ]

Your steps were rushed, echoing against the pavement as you ran past the sidekicks of Team Idaten. The street lights illuminating the area as well as the stars above that seemed to sparkle in conjunction with the moon. If you weren’t so panicked at the moment, you might have stopped to enjoy the view.

But knowing that Ingenium was possibly injured had you rushing to his rescue even if you were just a support agent who mainly crafted weapons and repaired everyone's hero suits. But Ingenium or Tensei as you knew him, was one of the most important people to you. There was a history that most already knew between yourself and the tubro hero, being that you went to U.A. together.

He was in the hero course, no surprise there while you were placed in the Department of Support. Being rather intuitive and creative, you would always make inventions that others found strange or too dangerous. Often belittling you to stick to basic support items rather than put your own style to them.

It was a little discouraging until a certain boy walked into the Development Studio and requested your help on his hero suit. That boy turned out to be Tensei who since then always encouraged your talent, despite being subjected to many of your malfunctioning inventions.

He was always your source of encouragement and you two were quick to become friends, that is until third year approached and you were nearing graduation. Tensei was full of inspiring ideas himself, one of which was creating an agency completely run by sidekicks who would work alongside each other and form teams depending on their specialty.

Most thought his idea was ridiculous. After all, who would want to be put in charge of a bunch of sidekicks when you could be the boss and rule over your own agency however you wanted? You didn't appreciate when people made fun of Tensei, considering you thought it was an amazing idea.

But, it also brought you a sense of sadness. You dreaded being separated from the soon-to-be pro hero. You knew you should have given Tensei more credit than that, considering he wasn’t someone that could easily let other's go, and to your surprise after graduation. He offered you a position at his future agency.

Stating that your talent would be useful in helping create weapons and suits for the future sidekicks that he would employ. True to his word, he slowly built the Idaten Agency from the ground up. Granted, he had plenty of help from his family.

But even so, you didn’t leave his side. In fact, you helped recruit some of the sidekicks that still proudly stood by Ingenium’s side. However, at times you wondered if Tensei realized just how much he meant to the Idaten Agency, how much he meant to you.

Your feelings for him seemed so obvious, but you often tried to make excuses for why Tensei didn’t catch onto them. The most common of which was the fact that he was solely focused on his hero work and always trying to bring his best forward.

Still, you were surprised that he didn’t hear how loud your heart was when you were alone with him or how flushed your cheeks got when he leaned in too close. You weren’t sure when these feelings for Tensei began, at first you were in denial. Believing what you felt was just a misplaced feeling of gratitude, but as the months went by and your feelings grew.

Maybe it was safer to say somewhere along the lines you had fallen in love with the turbo hero and love, as they say, made you do stupid things. “Tensei!” you cried as you finally spotted him and dropped to your knees, worry clear across your face as you took in how he looked.

A faint amount of blood dripped from the side of his head and his hair looked disheveled. The airbags that he requested you to install into the shoulder components of his hero suit had gone off, deflated among the rubble that he had caused when he ran into a brick wall.

You could make out a few cracks and loose panels in his suit. The eyepiece of his helmet was broken, laying on the ground by his side. You slowly reached up to brush your fingers along the sides of his face before moving his head so he was looking at you.

“Hey Y/n!” he chirped, his happy and uplifting mood unphased by the small accident he had gotten himself into. You let out a sigh of relief and dropped your hands from his face. “Tensei…” you said before letting your head drop and tried to take a deep breath to calm your racing heart.

You heard him move his arm, the metal pieces of his suit clinking together which made you raise your head once more. Then a gasp escaped as you felt the soft fabric of his gloved hand against your cheek which started to grow warm as you looked him in the eye.

You noticed there was dirt on his cheeks and part of the exposed skin of his neck. Apart from the blood dripping down the side of his head, he seemed otherwise unharmed. “Sorry about that, I guess I worried you. Huh?” you narrowed your eyes and glanced to the side, muttering a “You could say that,” in response which caused the hero to frown.

His thumb gently brushed against the side of your cheek which caused you to turn your attention back to him. Looking into those dark-colored eyes seemed to put you at ease, “Please don’t scare me like that again,” you said before reaching up to take his hand, pulling it away from your face before you leaned close to embrace him.

He looked surprised by the hug, his mouth falling open a moment before it softened and a smile came. This was followed by his arms wrapping around you, and a sigh of relief seemed to escape the two of you before you pulled away and leaned your hand against his shoulder.

“Let me help you up,” you insisted as you slid your arm behind his back, allowing him to place his across your shoulders. Buckling your legs, you pushed the two of you up. It was a little difficult because of the deflated airbags but as soon as you made it back to the Idaten Agency.

Tensei’s minor injuries were patched up and you promptly requested his presence after. Tensei had taken the opportunity to transform one of the floors of the Idaten Agency into a workshop for you, similar to the Development Studio. Everything you needed you had at your fingertips, including an examination table which Tensei was currently sitting on.

“You know, I’ve been thinking…” he began as you continued to look over the chest piece of his suit from your worktable. Your feet propped up against the wooden poles that made up the bottom of the stool you sat on and your fingers brushed over the small dents that you found in the hunk of metal.

The rest of the pieces that made up his hero suit were sitting in boxes, waiting to be repaired piece by piece. “Hm?” you glanced up, pausing in your movements. So many things were going through your mind, but more than anything you were worried about Tensei’s well-being.

Despite the fact that the only real injuries he had were the small cut on his forehead and his scraped-up cheek. You were worried that something worse might happen to him next time and you were rattling your brain to try and come up with a solution that would allow Tensei to take turns even at his top speed. It was tricky, near impossible actually.

But the man in question was very effective in shattering your thoughts when his voice broke through, “I want to remove my airbags completely,” you were thankful you were sitting, else your legs might have gotten too weak and to the floor, you’d go.

You looked at him with your eyebrow raised and your mouth slightly parted. Processing his words for a moment before you responded, “What?” you questioned as you leaned over the table, “I said-” you interrupted him. “No, I...I heard what you said Tensei,” you replied in clear disbelief and minor shock. How can he want to make that decision after what just happened?

“I...you can’t remove your airbags! If you take another hit like that without them, it'll be too danger-” your words came to a halt when Tensei got up from where he was sitting and walked over to you. Placing his hands on the table, he wore a smile as he invaded your space by leaning forward.

Hovering over the chest piece you were currently fiddling with. It made you a little nervous if you were being honest with yourself and you couldn’t help but stare into his eyes. Tensei had always been, in your opinion, handsome. Short messy hair that accompanied those unique shaped eyebrows of his, dark-colored eyes, and sharp square jaw.

All topped off with a smile that could light up a room, he was the ideal boyfriend-type, and while he was adored as a Pro Hero. Part of you was surprised that no one seemed to catch Tensei’s interest. A shiver ran down your spine when you felt his hands gently skim over yours.

You glanced down, watching as Tensei then grabbed your hands that were previously preoccupied. You could feel the heat rise in your cheeks and you half prayed that Tensei wouldn’t notice the fact they were turning pink.

But you knew you couldn’t move away. Without trying, Tensei Iida was keeping you right where he wanted you. “I know,” he replied in his familiar cheerful tone and you watched his pupils move ever so slightly, and yours mimicked the movement.

“But I can’t hold the team back, I know I've always had a hard time taking turns even at my lowest speed,” despite your flushed cheeks, you frowned. You knew it was near impossible for Tensei to turn when using his quirk, especially with the speed he could reach.

But you refused to allow him to put himself in danger, yet you knew no matter what Tensei was going to do so willingly. “That’s why I put trust in my teammates, they aren't just sidekicks to be used. They’re heroes I look up to,” he gently ran his thumb across the back of your hand.

Tensei’s touch was so delicate, it was hard to believe some villains thought him to be intimidating. “I trust you with my hero suit and to make the right choices even if you don’t think it’s good for me,” you latched onto your lip and glanced down, the soft hum of the air vents above you filling the silence.

“But a hero doesn’t always have time to think about what’s rational, speed and timing is everything. If something slows me down, that means I lose seconds to save someone,” your eyebrows furrowed together, a suspicious glance in your eye.

“Tensei...are you trying to guilt me?” you questioned and felt his hands immediately release yours so he could hold them up in a surrender-type fashion. “Not at all!” he exclaimed before giving you a smile, but you knew better than to fall for it. “It’s too dangerous,” you said before getting back to work, missing the way Tensei’s lips curled up.

His eyebrows furrowed as if he were trying to figure out a way to convince you, “Ah, hey!” you exclaimed as you fell forward onto the examination table, glaring up at Tensei who now held the chest piece you were previously leaning on. A chuckle left his lips, however, and you assumed he thought what he had just done was funny.

“Sorry,” he said, “I guess I couldn’t resist,” you rolled your eyes before pushing yourself up and slowly sliding off your stool. Walking over to one of the many boxes scattered across the floor, you looked around a moment before finding what you wanted.

A groan sounded as you lifted the shoulder piece of his suit out of the chosen box, the extra weight coming from the deflated airbag that still hung from it. Meanwhile, Tensei was busy staring at his reflection in the white paint of the chest piece he was holding.

“So, you really repair all these pieces separately huh?” he questioned just as you placed the shoulder piece onto the table, quickly grabbing a screwdriver so you could remove the deflated airbag and replace it with a new one.

“Yeah,” you replied as you began unscrewing the bolts around the airbag. “Wouldn’t it be easier to put the suit together and repair it that way?” it was almost cute how clueless he was about support equipment, still he was technically your boss and you owed him an answer.

“No, every little detail of a hero suit is taken into account and focused on with the utmost attention. I have to ensure every single separate piece works properly before bringing it together as a whole,” you finished unscrewing the bolts and placed them to the side before carelessly tossing the spent airbag to the floor.

Tensei looked away from the chest piece, watching as said airbag hit the floor. “Hm…” he stood there a moment, trying to think of how else to convince you to do what he wanted. Not that he was controlling, by any means. Rather, he was focused on finding a solution that would best help his team as a whole.

He walked back over to the table and placed the chest piece down, once again catching your attention. You lifted your head, “Are you sure there isn’t a way I can convince you?” he questioned, “I know it worries you, but-” you shook your head and once again slid off your stool.

“Oh no,” you replied as you walked over to him and poked his chest, “Hm?” he looked down at your finger before glancing back at you. “You know better than to try and bribe me,” you narrowed your eyes and Tensei let out a sigh before glancing at the ceiling, his lips perched up once more.

“Hm,” you gave a little victory smirk before turning back to the table, deciding that standing was a better option when around Tensei. You quickly examined the shoulder piece before walking over to the opposite side of the room where all your tools were on display. Hanging in an organized fashion on the wall.

Tensei watched you, he knew he was lucky to have someone like you working at his agency, and thinking back, he was surprised you had agreed to join him. Back then, it seemed like you were the only one who truly believed in him. His family had been in the hero business for generations sure, and he felt like he had become a hero more out of expectation than sheer need or want.

“Ah, there it is,” you said as you grabbed the tool you were looking for before you walked to another wall which was made up of various baskets. Each one holding a piece or item you might need. Carefully, you searched for another airbag, and once you found it. You walked back to your work table, laying both items down much to Tensei’s disappointment.

He reached up, running his hand through his hair but he was careful not to touch the gauze pad that was taped over the cut he had received. He was still determined to convince you not to reinstall the airbags of his suit. He stepped forward, “Are you sure there-” you interrupted him yet again, looking at him from over your shoulder with a small glare.

“Yes,” you replied before you resumed fiddling with the new airbag, trying to snap it into place, and Tensei felt as though he were running out of time. “Please?” he spoke sweetly as he walked behind you, looming over your shoulder as you continued to work. “No,” you said before reaching over to grab your screwdriver.

However, Tensei’s hand clasped around yours seconds later. You blinked and leaned to the side, “Tensei...” an awkward tension began to fill the air. “I can handle the screwdriver by myself,” you tugged on it once more, trying to make Tensei catch the hint you wanted him to let go.

But his fingers remained wrapped partly around yours and the rubber handle. “Heh,” he gave a sheepish grin and you jerked your arm back, successfully making the man release his grip. You gave another victory smirk before you reached over to pick up one of the many screws you had taken out and aligned it properly before getting back to work.

The fact that Tensei remained looming over your shoulder was a little nerve-racking, not only could you hear his breathing. You could also feel it against the back of your ear. You paused a moment, glancing back as if waiting for him to move. But you should have known better, while Tensei was respectful in many ways.

He seemed to hold some type of persistence when it came to certain things and while you already stated you wouldn’t do as he wanted. You had the feeling neither of you would be leaving the workshop until you came to an agreement. “I’ve always admired your talent,” he began, making you pause yet again.

“Um...thank you, Tensei,” you replied before continuing to turn the handle of the screwdriver. That’s when you heard a soft slap against the table and turned your head yet again. Tensei was now leaning over the table, his arm outstretched and fingers just barely touching the chest plate that was still preoccupying space.

He had another smile on his face and oddly enough, you couldn’t help but return it. “How long does it take to install a new airbag?” he questioned, and for a moment you wondered if he was purposely trying to distract you. You took a deep breath and placed the screwdriver down before bringing your hand to your hip.

You then turned to face Tensei, shooting him a soft glare which he seemed to notice and glanced away with a pout. “I was just wondering,” he said as he reached up to ruffle the back of his hair, “I’d hate to be taking up your time,” you chuckled at his words.

“You’re taking up my time by distracting me,” you replied before crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m not removing your-” Tensei interrupted you. “Nothing will stop me from being a hero,” he stated and you lowered your arms a bit, “including airbags,” you wondered if he was trying to start an argument with you, then again Tensei wasn’t much of the argumentative type.

You took a deep breath, letting out a sigh. Then you lowered your head, “I know,” you muttered before you turned back to the worktable. Taking a moment to stare at the shoulder piece and the airbag that currently only had half a screw to keep it in place. You lowered your eyebrows, it was clear that you were worried more about Tensei’s well-being than he was himself.

But once again you were reminded that’s how Tensei was, always focused on doing good for others. Always willing to throw himself into danger if it meant he could save someone, but you couldn’t help but feel like this time was different. You were being directly involved, being asked to remove something you had installed into his hero suit for his own protection.

Your thoughts were broken when you felt two arms wrap around you, “Ah!” you gasped, not having expected the contact or the way you were pulled back against Tensei’s chest. Then came the pressure of his head against yours and the heat immediately rose in your cheeks, coloring them a soft pink.

You flexed your arms slightly, almost as if you were trying to break his hold on you. “T-Tensei what are…” your words trailed off when you felt him nuzzle against you causing a soft noise to pass your lips. “I know you're worried,” he began yet again and though your face was currently on fire, you raised your eyebrow.

But unlike before, you didn’t interrupt him. “But I would never do anything that risks losing you,” your eyebrows shot up and your eyes widened, “and I can’t risk losing anyone else, a hero proudly makes sacrifices,” he said before he leaned back up and reached over to take delicate hold of your chin.

Once again a soft noise escaped you as Tensei gently tilted your head to the side and leaned over. You could hear your heart echo in your ears as you stared into his eyes. Somehow Tensei always made it so you felt like the only person in the room, even if at the moment you technically were the only other person in the room.

He then brought that hand up to cup your cheek, still keeping one arm wrapped around you. All hope of Tensei not noticing your scolding hot cheeks was effectively thrown out the window at that moment. “Will you be my hero? You kind of always were,” his thumb grazed across your cheek and you took a deep breath.

“I...I’m your...hero?” you repeated, clear disbelief in your voice, and Tensei nodded in response. Your eyelids lowered before you glanced at the airbag you were currently trying to install, you felt his hand lower. Once more both of his arms were around your waist. You struggled for a moment, internally debating about what you truly wanted to do.

Tensei’s safety was your number one priority, but his friends and loved ones, and all those civilians that counted on him to be at his best came first to him. You hung your head in defeat, missing the small smirk that came to Tensei’s face as he knew he finally convinced you.

When you opened your mouth to speak, your words were suddenly rendered to nothing but a pathetic squeak. The reason behind the obnoxious noise was Tensei’s warm lips against the top of your head. He allowed them to linger there, buried against your hair before he finally pulled back.

You swallowed, not having realized how dry your mouth had gotten. But, you slowly turned and Tensei, in turn, momentarily dropped his arms from around you. However, his hands came to rest on your hips when you were finally facing each other.

You didn’t mind his touch and reached down, placing your hands on his forearms. A smile was exchanged between the two of you before Tensei leaned close once more. “Eep,” another noise escaped you and Tensei chuckled, though he kept any comments to himself.

Except for one, “Thank you,” he said as he rested his forehead against yours. “Heh,” you responded, trying to suppress the nervous chuckle that threatened to pass your lips. “You’re welcome, Ingenium.”

[one-with-the-floor]

The problem, when you got down to it, was that the concept of ‘up’ hadn’t been properly invented yet. Aziraphale was looking out, instead, out over the inky blackness of something as yet unnamed. ‘Sky,’ he had heard one cherub call it; ‘universe,’ whispered an angel who worked as a scribe in the records department. Once it became clear that nobody really knew what it was or what it’s purpose was to be, Aziraphale stopped worrying about it. He just liked the way the little dots of light out in the distance reflected on the tile of the hallway, if he left the door open and sat on the edge. He wasn’t afraid of falling. There was no such concept, no down to fall into without an ‘up’.

So Aziraphale came to the sky-ink-universe door whenever he was on a break from his swordsmanship lessons, and stared into the Away From Here, and, when he was sure there was no one else around, admired the way his loosened, shed feathers glowed as they floated out into the black.

“That’s where those have been coming from!”

Aziraphale started, and turned to see an angel with an armful of scrolls and long red hair drifting towards him. The angel grinned as he held out one of Aziraphale’s feathers. “I’ve been catching them, but nobody would admit to grooming while we’re working. I was starting to think someone was pulling a joke on me.”

Aziraphale blushed and took his feather back. “Not a joke, I’m afraid. Just me.”

“You don’t work out here, do you?” the angel asked.

“No. I’m a principality. I’m training to be a guard.”

“A guard of what?”

“I don’t know,” Aziraphale said. “I don’t think it’s been made yet.”

“Wow,” the angel sighed. “That’s so exciting.”

“Where do you work?” Aziraphale asked, wanting to be polite.

“Over there.” The angel pointed in a direction. Aziraphale had no idea how he could tell one place from another in this endless shell of black. “You can’t see it from here,” the angel explained when Aziraphale looked lost. “It’s way out…” He waved his arm at the universe. “You know. Far off. Takes a long time to get there.”

Aziraphale blinked. “Oh. Er.” Maybe that explained why he was confused. “I don’t think we’ve got ‘time’ in my department yet.”

“Really? We got it ages ago.”

“I’m sure they’re working on it. They didn’t implement shadows where I’m from until we tried on armor for the first time and none of us could see anything for all the light reflecting.”

“Ah, yeah, darkness was a huge update, loved that one. Especially out here, you know, this whole thing,” again, the whole-arm gesture, “doesn’t really work without the dark. It was just all light, with a little bit of lighter light where the stars are.”

“Stars?” Aziraphale looked out at the sphere of black cocooning them, and all the tiny pin pricks of light shining through. “Is that what these are called?”

“Yeah.” The angel’s smile went soft, and he turned so he could sit on the ledge next to Aziraphale. “Brilliant, aren’t they? I got to help build a few of them.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. There’s one, way out far away, that I designed, and She approved it and now it’s real.” The angel’s feet kicked excitedly. “It’s nearly done. We just have to finish heating up the second star.”

“That’s amazing,” Aziraphale said. “I don’t get to make things, mostly. I did invent a new sort of parry last practice, but that was mostly by accident.”

Accident or not, the angel’s eyes lit up. “Tell me,” he urged, and for lack of a reason not to, Aziraphale did.

He came back during his next break, but the angel with the red hair and the questions wasn’t there. But the stars had taken on a new layer of beauty, now that he knew what they were, what they were called, what they meant. That they were built. So much of the world was made for them, and Aziraphale treasured every wall, every tile that She had manifested for the angels to exist on, but the thought that they themselves could create things to love alongside her made him crave the experience himself.

A long while later—they had finally gotten around to adding the time update everywhere; Aziraphale wasn’t sure how he felt about the whole idea—Aziraphale met the angel at the door again. He was already sitting on the ledge, and Aziraphale nearly walked right into him when he opened the door.

“Oh! Oh, dear, I’m sorry.”

The angel just tilted his head to look at him. “Hello.”

“Hello.” Aziraphale maneuvered around him to sit. “I hoped I might see you again. Have you finished your stars?”

“Yep.” The angel stretched, popping his back, and tucked his feet under himself. “She’s got us doing a new thing now. All hands on deck for one specific star. ‘S not even a big one.”

“Really? I’d heard a few departments were very busy, but I hadn’t thought it would include yours.”

“Is yours busy?”

“No. We finished training a little while ago, now we’re all assigned to troupes of angels to lead.”

“Lead to what?”

“I don’t know. But they’ve told us to be ready. Whatever it is, it must be coming soon.”

“I hope it comes before we light this new important star up. It’s gotten so boring.”

Aziraphale gasped. “You can’t say that!”

“It’s true!” The angel laughed, and the little flare of panic in Aziraphale’s chest faded out. “I’m not the only one, either. There’s a bunch of other angels bored of their stations, too.”

“I’m not bored of mine,” Aziraphale insisted.

The angel smiled at him. “No. I’m glad you’re not.”

Again, there was a stretch of time before Aziraphale saw the angel next. Again, he went back to the door every chance he got to look out at the stars.

This particular time, the last time, he went with a sword at his hip.

Construction on all projects had stopped when certain angels started to disappear. They slipped through the tiles of the floor, some said, while others swore they’d seen them crumble to soot, burned into dust. None of them had come back. The principalities had been sent out to ensure they didn’t try to.

Aziraphale brought his group to the door and sent them out in all directions, out to find any angels still working out there and bring them back to heaven where they would be safe. Aziraphale stood on the ledge and tried with everything he had to remember which way the angel had pointed when he told him about his stars.

He blinked. He tried to figure it out again, to orient himself via the door and where the angel had been standing, but the sphere of the universe shifted whenever he moved. It was different. It was no longer all out. Aziraphale tilted his head back, and saw the stars above him. They had been there before, but they had not been there, not there in relation to him.

He looked down, dizzy with the change, and caught himself on the door jamb before he could tip over. There were stars there, too, in the brand new below him.

And there was a flash of red. A streak of white, pure as an angel’s robe, going deeper, falling down. It faded to black before Aziraphale could comprehend it.

He stretched out his wings, stepped cautiously off the ledge. He did not fall. He did not float, either, not the way he had before. It was different. All very different.

Aziraphale sat heavily down on the ledge, and looked up at the stars.

[eyepatchdate]

I saw this bouncing around my dash and decided to fill it out myself for fun :)  I decided to not double-list any games, and I tried to mix up the companies I used too so that the list would be more unique.

Long post, so I’m doing a readmore for my longwinded part lol.

(read more)

Favorite Game: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords - I could talk about this game forever.  How it tears apart the Star Wars universe from within, how it creates a compelling story while challenging the usual themes, etc.  I could talk for ages about the characters and how their motivations slot in place, and how this game lends itself to interpretation and analysis alongside roleplay.  It’s just a wonderful game, one I deeply love and will always love.  It’s a game that isn’t afraid to have you talk to other characters for twenty or thirty minutes at a time and honestly I’m always riveted at every line.  This game deserves the cult fanbase it has, but I think there’s a lot the fanbase misses in appreciating this game.  (Note...gameplay is a little janky and a community made mod restores a lot content that was cut before shipping-the game wasn’t properly finished).

Best Story:  Fallout New Vegas - It’s the setting that makes the story here, and all the moving pieces and factions alongside the main conflict really make this game stand out.  There’s so many little pieces to find along the way in the world and the way the main quest splits based on who you want in power feels important--and you are choosing a future for this whole region.

Favorite Art Style: The Witness - This game is peacefully wonderful with its visuals.  There are wonderful nature scenes and nests of wires and panels spreading in various parts of the island that are fascinating to look at.  The environment is half of the gameplay in most areas, so it’s important to look around even though exploration is not really the gameplay.  You find puzzles in the world, even in nature, and it’s fascinating.  The colors are bright and beautiful.  There is even a map in the middle of the island inside of a lake that helps you track your progress if you notice it (it isn’t like a normal ‘map’).

Favorite Soundtrack: Shin Megami Tensei IV - I love video game soundtracks, but SMTIV is something special.  The music booms in ways that make you really understand the atmosphere of the world, and there’s a great mix of different kinds of tracks for different places.  I love the tracks for the other worlds you enter, and the themes of the different routes are done so well.  Some of the music draws from past SMT games, but the remixes done for this game really are stunning to me, and there’s so many fantastic original tracks.

Hardest Game: I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream - I love this game but I literally never touch it without a walkthrough, which is why it gets to be the hardest game on the list, despite being a point and click adventure game lol.  Also just emotionally this game is challenging too, but I definitely mean this more in terms of getting a ‘perfect run’.

Funniest Game: The Stanley Parable - Trying to make this list has taught me that I don’t really play many ‘funny games’.  I don’t know if a game where multiple endings demand that you kill yourself should count as a ‘funniest game’, but it is also a game where the narrator tells you to stare at a fern and memorize its features, so....it counts.

Game I Like that is Hated: RWBY Grimm Eclipse - I’ve been playing this game since it was in early access and have loved it the whole time.  I find the gameplay soothing and fun, and I like playing the different characters.  It’s a game I play to chill out and just enjoy some fun battle mechanics.  It’s a fun game and I’ve spent over 100 hours in it, so I hope I like it, lol.

Game I Hate that is Liked:  Nier Automata - Neither this game’s gameplay or story impress me, and the fact that you have to replay basically the same stuff from a more boring-to-play-character’s pov in order to SEE all of the plot is a huge damper on the experience.  The story, to me, someone who engages with a lot of robot-focused fiction, is far from impressive or new, and it hardly engages with genre specifics at all, let alone in a new or interesting way.  I view this game as ‘a story with robots in it’ rather than ‘a story about robots’, which, to me, is a detriment.

Underrated: Nevermind - This game is amazing and very unheard of--and when it is heard of, it has been marketed incorrectly.  Nevermind seems like a horror game, and does market itself as one a bit, but it’s much more than that.  It’s more about trauma, recovery, therapy, etc.  This is a game that is so mindful about the topics it engages in that I am impressed by it every time.  It’s heavy with symbolism and character, despite lacking conversations or other similar game mechanics.  This is a lovely game that I really wish more people knew about-`p5-all of the patients are so interesting, and the focus on recovery and mental health is impressive.

Overrated:  Fire Emblem - I sort of mean this as the series as a whole really.  I have enjoyed the entries I have played somewhat, but I overall consider the series much less impressive than I was led to believe by others.  The gameplay especially is not impressive to me in any regard, even though I sometimes do find myself enjoying it.  The stories are alright, but many of them are weighed down by the gameplay and as a writer and person who likes to analyze writing, it’s very hard to do so when it isn’t able to fully exist under the chains the gameplay forces on it.  There are ways to mix gameplay and story well, Fire Emblem has not really done that in any of the entries I’ve played.  That being said, I don’t regret playing them, and I will occasionally replay, but I consider them mediocre games at best.

Best Voice Acting: Devil Survivor 2 - I love the voice acting in this game.  I feel like all the characters are really suited to their voices, and it’s really easy for me to visualize their voices.  They really bring the game to life and make both the dramatic and the funny scenes more enjoyable.

Worst Voice Acting: Jedi Knight Jedi Academy - I love this game, I really do, but some of the voice acting is janky.  Some of it is okay too--I think Kyle Katarn’s voice actor does fine, and some of the others I like NOW but hated when I was a kid, but the male protagonist voice in this game is just awful.  Which is bad when Jennifer Hale is the female voice actress lol.  His performance is passable though unless you’re playing darksided--the darksided ending to the game lacks all punch when you’re playing the male protagonist.

Favorite Male:  Battler Ushiromiya from Umineko no Naku Koro Ni - He’s the protagonist for most of the visual novels and I adore him utterly, especially once you move past episode 2.  He’s a wonderful character who I care about deeply.  I love his drive and how he fights--he’s someone who is easy to cheer for.  He matures well throughout the series and his character development is just wonderful.

Favorite Female:  Naoto Shirogane from Persona 4 - I really like how Naoto fits so well in the game, especially for being a final recruit--oftentimes the final recruit of Persona games (post 3) have a bit of a more difficult time feeling right with the group.  Naoto works really well though, and I love her struggles and story as well.  I think the difficulties she has concerning living as a woman in her field hit very deep to a problem that has existed for a very long time.

Favorite Protagonist: Connor of Daventry from King’s Quest 8 Mask of Eternity - I’m like, one of four fans of this character in the world, lol.  KQ8 is not a very well liked game and it does have a lot of issues, both with age and with how much of a departure it is from the series prior to it.  It’s strange to take a puzzle adventure game and make it a hybrid with what basically is a shooter, and it doesn’t really work.  Add to that the fact that you spend most of your time in the game without anyone around to talk to and it leads to this really polarizing and weird experience.  For me, Conner goes through what I would consider to be the ‘Ultimate Nightmare Scenario”.  Everyone in the world is turned to stone except him (and he survived out of mere chance) and so now it’s up to him, practically alone, to save the entire world.  There is no game lonelier than this.  I adore him for his bravery in the face of it, and how he just picks up to do what must be done because someone should do it, and if no one else can, then he will.  I also really love how he apologizes to people who are encased in stone while he takes money from their houses to help him on his journey.  I really do think he went back after the game was over and gave everyone heaps of gold to pay them back with interest lol.

Favorite Village:  Oakvale from Fable - The first Fable is the only one I really like, and it was one of the games I played when I was little, so the hometown in the game always meant a lot to me.  I like how you grow up there and how your tragic backstory is there--and then how you get to return to the town years later after you’ve come into your own, and you can see it completely rebuilt.  I like to spend a lot of my time in this town, just wandering around it and playing the minigames.  Even though I have a house in every town, Oakvale is where my hero calls home.

Most Hated Character:  Merril from Dragon Age 2 - I don’t really want to lay into how I feel about Merril, but what I will say is that it was suggested to me that I totally ignore her when playing, and I did so.  I only met her for her quest, dropped her off in town, and literally never spoke to her or interacted for the rest of the game.  I had a much better experience for it, honestly.  She appeared after I made my choice in the end of the game, which felt weird since I hadn’t spoken to her in several ingame years, but other than that, the game was totally fine without her.  I sort of just wish you could kill characters in DA2 the way you can in DAO, then I’d just do that, tbh.  It doesn’t suit very many (or any) of the characters I rp in DA2 to keep her around or support her in any way.

First Game I Played: Mixed up Mother Goose Deluxe - I’m not actually sure if this is the FIRST game I’ve ever played or not, but it’s one of the first I played alone as a kid.  I really loved it--this is probably what created my love for point and click adventures, and the game was very silly and fun.

Favorite Company: Bioware - I’ve always been a sucker for Bioware games, ever since Knights of the Old Republic 1 was my favorite childhood game.  I love how they do stories and party members, and while I’m not a fan of all of their games, I really love what they’ve made and their style of storytelling and character driven plot.  Even though sometimes their stories get cliche, I think the suit video games well and most of my early gaming was within their games.

Hated Company: EA - Bioware truly only started to go to shit after the EA acquisition, so I fucking hate EA.   I know Bioware had issues before EA too, but I definitely don’t think EA has helped the situation whatsoever.

Depressing Game: The Beginner’s Guide - I relate to this game as a creator and a writer, and it affects me deeply because of the story it tells and the questions it raises.  It makes me reflect on how I think of myself as a creator, and it reminds me of friendships I used to have.

Creepy Game:  The Path - God, I love this game.  It’s just aimlessly wandering around and finding symbolic scenery and watching your current character comment on it.  Then, you go off to find your girl’s wolf, and each one is different and unique to her, and you watch it ‘kill’ her--and facing her wolf is the only way each girl can truly mature.  Whenever you get to grandmother’s house, the camera switches to first person, and your eyes keep closing, so you can only see while clicking to move.  It forces you to keep moving so that you can see, but since you are moving, you only get to see things somewhat vaguely.  It’s got a great atmosphere, and I love the symbolic storytelling.

Happy Game: Eastshade - This game is so sweet.  There’s some drama around to with many of the quests, but I like this as an rpg without combat, and I think this would be a really good kids game.  There’s a lot to see and explore, and the game was made to be really pretty so that you want to paint several aspects of it.  It’s really lovely to just wander around in this game and bike around the area, painting anything that suits your fancy.  As long as you don’t finish the main quest, you’re free to wander, and materials do respawn, so you essentially can infinitely paint once you get far enough.

Favorite Ending: Virtue’s Last Reward - I love the questions this game asks and where the ending goes.  It thematically ties together--the whole reason the game itself exists is to get the attention of a ‘higher being’--the player, essentially.  I love how it plays with that concept, and even though the final game in the series doesn’t entirely pick this idea up where this game left it, standalone this game is stunning in how it comes together.

[miracul0us-multishipper]

The cure

“Okay.”, Marillion turned away from the railing, back to her champion. “I think I bought us a few moments.”

The heroes would be back, no doubt, but not before she could handle the situation on her own.

“Stoneheart, give Mylène a little room to breath! You’re trapping her.”

“Oh!”, he immediately opened his hand so Mylène sat on his gigantic palm instead of being stuck in his fist. “Sorry, Mylène!”

This, however, did not help to make her more comfortable. Quite the opposite: She threw one look over the edge of Stonehearts hand, realized they were on top of the Eiffel Tower, and curled into a pitiful ball of fear. Stammering an apology, Ivan closed his hand around her until she was safely tucked into his fist again.

Oh dear. She had to do something!

“Look, I know you must be afraid,” she tried to calm the trembling Mylène, hopping on Stonehearts arm to be a little closer to her. The girl looked at her with obvious apprehension.

“I swear, scaring you like this was not our intention. Right, Stoneheart?”

Ivan nodded eagerly, as docile as a puppy now. She sighed.

“He just wanted a chance to talk to you! So... would you listen to him? Just listening should do the trick.”

Mylène hid her face behind Ivan’s giant thumb.

“I just want to go home!”, she whimpered and Marillion patted her back in sympathy.

“I know, and I’m awfully sorry it came to all this mess. But I can’t transform Ivan back until he’s got it off his chest, so I really, really need your help.”

Mylène looked at her, considering her options and Marillion sat down.

“Hey, he’s not going to be mean to you, I promise. He’s a softie! And once he’s said what he wants to tell you, I’ll personally bring you back home myself. Alright?”

Mylène sniffled, but looked a little hopeful now.

“O... Okay.”

She turned to Ivan.

“Okay. I’ll listen.”

Stoneheart beamed, letting himself fall into a sitting position.

“So, this morning, when I tried to speak to you before the lesson started...”

Marillion jumped off of his arm and onto the platform to give them a little space. Ivan could handle it, now. With her nearby to keep him in check, no heroes to interrupt and no Chloé to provoke him, he would finally be able to speak his heart and cleanse the Akuma.

Everything would be alri-

“Lucky Charm!”, yelled a far too familiar voice right then, a second before something hard - a parachute?! - hit Marillion right in the face. The momentum slammed her into into the railing and she saw stars.

“I do not think this is how you were supposed to use it.”, Chat Noir commented as he landed next to his goddamn partner, who only scoffed at him.

“What, are you going to cat-splain my powers to me, Kitty? Obviously, it worked just fine!”

“Stoneheart!”, Marillion groaned, more out of annoyance than pain. “Get Mylène to safety - again! Because these damn idiots are back - again! So I’m going to kick. their. asses,” she snarled, getting back to her feet, “AGAIN!”

With a roar Stoneheart jumped over the railing, about to climb down the tower, as she deflected Ladybirds yo-yo with her cane and attacked her. But she should have gone for Chat Noir instead: While she was busy fighting Ladybird, the cat had jumped over them and attacked Stonehearts free hand holding onto the tower. Startled, Stoneheart lost his grip, slowly fell backwards... and instinctively opened his other hand to catch himself. The hand holding Mylène - and the Akuma!

“Catch Mylène!”, she ordered frantically and he obeyed, allowing the triumphant Chat Noir to dive past him and throw the akumatized ball of paper back to Ladybird.

“No!”, Marillion screamed, but the cackling dumbass that was Ladybird had already broken the object.

Time seemed to slow down.

The purple Akuma, released from its target, was fleeing skywards. Stoneheart’s powers faded immediately and he transformed back, losing his hold on the railing. He fell, and Mylène with him.

Marillion had seen the most ridiculously unfortunate scenarios play out around her for years - she just had that kind of luck. She’d always noticed the chain reactions of disaster unfold just in time to prepare for the embarrassment, never soon enough to stop it.

But this was different. Lives were at stake. And she had superpowers.

Time resumed its usual pace and her body moved on its own, her mind preceding it.

Three problems at hand: Ivan falling, Mylène falling, and an Akuma on the loose.

Three persons present: Ladybird, Chat Noir, and Marillion herself.

Ladybird hadn’t expected Stoneheart to detransform and wouldn’t notice in time; she was too busy with the Akuma. Chat Noir was closest to Ivan and had his staff to catch himself. That left Mylène and Marillion.

Within a heartbeat she had grabbed the parachute Ladybird had thrown into her face. She had no time to worry about the height, she was already jumping over the railing and diving after Mylène.

As expected, Chat had caught Ivan and saved them with an unorthodox use of cataclysm - why didn’t you just use your damn staff, idiot?! - so she passed him without taking her eyes off of the screaming girl. Using all of her strength she grabbed Mylène around the waist and held onto her, then she opened the parachute.

An audible sigh escaped the girl and she clung to Marillion like a life line.

“It’s okay, you’re safe!”, the butterfly sighed. Laughing with relief she added: “Promised I’d get you back safe, didn’t I?”

-

Marillion didn’t wait for Ladybird to catch up with her. By the time the Miraculous Cure washed through the streets of Paris, she was long gone and back in her room, detransformed. Nooroo was sitting on her chaise lounge, stuffing himself with candy like his life depended on it. Nadja Chamack did her News Report in the TV, and of course there was only one topic.

“...Both students have returned home unharmed, and thanks to our new superhero Ladybird, all damages to our beloved city have been undone as well.���, she said with an unusual optimism. “It seems that the supervillain calling herself “Marillion” is not as much of a threat as feared. Let’s hope Ladybird and Chat Noir will continue to keep us safe!”

“Hmp!”, Marinette scoffed and turned the TV off. “Keeping them safe? Pah! I was the one who saved Mylène, wasn’t I?!”

“It’s okay, Marinette.”

Nooroo swallowed the last bit of candy before turning to look at her, a sad smile on his face.

“It was worth a try. I’m sure the guardian will understand.”

“What...?”

Realisation hit her and she jumped up.

“No! You can’t go back! You’ll be trapped forever!”

Nooroo floated up and patted her on the forehead.

“It’s safer that way.”, he shrugged. “I’m only creating chaos here.”

“No, no! Just... just look at today!”

He looked up at her, confused.

“Today?”

“Yes!”, she hurried to continue. “Sure, the public thinks we’re the bad guys. But if we hadn’t decided to akumatize Ivan, all these people would still be monsters, right?”

“Well... you have a point, but-“

“A-And Ivan! He finally confessed to Mylène, and now that she read his song, she actually likes him back! They looked so happy when we left, don’t you think so?”

Nooroo looked pensive.

“That... is true.”

He smiled.

“And they make such a cute couple too!”

Relieved that he was listening, she kneeled down in front of him.

“Who cares what the others say,” she shrugged. “If you ask me, we achieved some really great things today. Plus, I threw Chat Noir off the Eiffel Tower.”

She smirked gleefully.

“That definitely made my week.”

Nooroo snorted and settled into her cupped hand.

“Why, I’m glad you had fun, Marinette.”

“I did.”, she assured him. “I’ve never felt so... light before, Nooroo. So graceful and free. It was... miraculous.”

Her Kwami sighed deeply.

“But what if someone else gets upset around you? You’d have to suffer their misery as well.”

“Then we could akumatize them too!”

“What?!”

“It’s how your power is meant to be used, remember? To help people, like we helped Ivan. True, the way we did it was a little... rocky, but if something went really wrong, there’s always that annoying Ladybird, right? She can reverse any collateral damage. Besides...”

She booped his nose.

“I’d miss you if went and trapped yourself.”

A sniffle came from her lilac little friend.

“R-really?”

“Of course, Nooroo. Very much.”

He rubbed his teary eyes clean, then he smiled.

“Then I will stay with you, as long as you’ll have me...”

He bowed.

“...Master Marinette.”

-

When Marinette walked into the classroom alongside Alya the next day, the classroom was abuzz with chatter.

“I’m telling you, Marillion was super nice!”, Ivan insisted, holding hands with an eagerly nodding Mylène. “I’ve even still got all my memories from yesterday. She was honestly trying to help me!”

“Help you destroy the City?”

“No, you dork. Helping me confess.”

“So what, she’s like, Matchmaker Marillion?”, Nino threw in. “Sounds more like a stage name.”

“We shouldn’t take a supervillain this lightly. There’s a 89.7% chance she will strike again.”

“I’m not sure if she’s a villain.”, Mylène tried to argue. “She was looking out for me the entire time, and she saved my life!”

“Excuse me?!”, Alya suddenly spoke up, making Marinette jump. “Ladybird saved your life! When she freed you from Stoneheart! Marillion was just doing damage control for her image when she caught you, ‘cause she knew she’d lost. Also, wasn’t it Ladybird’s parachute that she used?”

She snapped her fingers.

“Check and mate, girl.”

Marinette sighed deeply. Looks like the most wonderful girl in the world is fangirling over the most useless one. Tragic.

The discussion went on as she quickly pulled Alya away before she could yell any further. The fiery haired menace made a move to fight her tugging, but stopped when she realized where Marinette was pulling her.

“Let’s sit here.”, she smiled at her best friend, pointing at the seat Chloé had claimed for herself yesterday. A gleeful grin spread on Alyas face and she sat down without further ado. Nailed it.

-

When Chloé stormed into the room, telling her off felt even better than being Marillion to her. The blondes face was an angry shade of red, but to everyone’s surprise, she sat down on the place Marinette pointed to.

“You’ll pay for that, eventually.”, Chloé scoffed. “When I tell Paris’ new hero, who is incidentally my BFF, about how rude you are, she’ll swoop in and teach you for treating me like that.”

“Oh?”, Alya snickered. “Paris’ rising star is your new best friend, now? Tell us about it!”

“You don’t deserve to know anything about her!”, Chloé snapped, but only managed to stay quiet for a second before the urge to boast overwhelmed her. “She’s the most powerful hero of them all, obviously, and of course she adores me. She’s strong, and quick, and absolutely exceptional!”

A dreamy expression sneaked in Chloé’s eyes as she went into raptures about Ladybird.

“She’s the prettiest too, and the only one with a fashion sense as good as mine. And she alone saved Paris from that superpowered menace, yesterday.”

“My, my, Chloé!”, Alya mocked her. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you had a crush on Ladybird.”

The class - childish as always - roared with laughter, but Chloé only pulled up an eyebrow.

“Who?”, she asked, and everybody froze mid-movement. Kim, who’d been in the middle of swiping away a tear of laughter, still had a finger under his eye.

“Oh, you mean that ridiculously incompetent wannabe in red, right?”, Chloé continued without a care. “Pah, as if I’d wanna be seen with that fashion disaster! No, Marillion is the true hero - of Paris and of the fashion world. Tailcoats look just exquisite on her.”

For a moment it was quiet, then the entire debate from earlier roared up and Marinette had to stop Alya from going for Chloé’s jugular.

“Wow, suddenly I have no respect at all for Marillion anymore.”, Ivan said in shock as Mylène patted his arm. “Yeah, if Chloé likes her, we were definitely wrong.”

Pah!

Traitors!

-

She stayed longer after school, to deposit some candy reserves for Nooroo in her locker. Unfortunately, that meant she that when she left the school, it had already begun to rain. Just her luck.

Sighing she stepped back under the roof, hoping it would just be a quick shower and she’d get home dryly if she just waited a few minutes. Of course, her bad luck didn’t just end there though.

“Hey!”, said a tentative voice next to her, and she turned away when she realized it belonged to Adrien Agreste. Chewing-gum-boy. Chloé-friend.

“Look, about yesterday...”, he started anyway. “I really was trying to take it off.”

Yeah, a friend of Chloé tries to help. Fat chance.

That thought made her pause. Just this morning Chloé had announced Marillion to be her friend, and immediately, everyone had stopped showing support for the butterfly. She’d been bummed about that, hadn’t she? So... shouldn’t she give Adrien a chance?

She looked at him, signaling him that she was listening. Relieved he continued.

“I’ve never been to school before. Chloé has been my only friend for years now. All of this is... new to me.”, he admitted. “So I might be a little clueless sometimes, and act weird, or say the wrong thing. I’m sorry if I came across as a bully yesterday.”

He looked wistfully at the school behind them.

“But I really, really want this. Going to a public school, and making friends, and learning everything I’ve been missing out on.”

He smiled. A sad, but genuine smile, so warm and open she didn’t even need the impulse of her brooch to know that his apology was sincere. It made her heart ache for him and filled her stomach with butterflies. When Adrien opened his umbrella and turned to leave, she surprised herself by reaching for his arm.

“Just so you know...”, she said as he looked at her with these vibrant green eyes. “...I... I like to make new friends too.“

His hopeful face turned into a smile.

“Then I hope we can befriend each other.”

With a chuckle, he held out the umbrella to her. Flattered she reached out to take it - only to accidentally snap it shut and trap herself inside.

A startled laugh escaped Adrien, a sound sweeter than the bells of Notre Dame. She couldn’t help but join him, giggling nervously at her own clumsiness. He didn’t make her feel like a failure, even if he laughed at her. No, he just genuinely thought it was harmlessly funny, and worth a laugh. After the day she’d had, fun was exactly what she’d needed. Adrien was exactly what she had needed.

“See you tomorrow then!”, he said, running down the stairs towards a silver car.

“Y-Yeah! See you morrow-to, I mean, you tomorrow see! Wait, no...”

Another giggle reached her ears, this time from her purse.

“Has that boy stolen your speech?”, he teased and she grimaced.

“Nooroo!”

“What did he look like? Was he very pretty? What was his name?”

She blushed, quickly running down the stairs.

“Well... yes, he was very pretty.”, she was forced to admit, though not without a groan. “Oh man, not again!”

She’d just started crushing on her best friend, she couldn’t like another person as well, could she?!

“It’s Love,” Nooroo only said when she voiced her concern. “It’s the greatest force in the universe, it doesn’t follow any rules. This is just another proof for what I knew from the moment I saw you.”

“Hm?”

“That you have a big heart, full to the brim with love!”

“Oh you~!”, she waved off, reminiscing about the way she’d felt when Adrien had looked at her. As if she might float away.

“His name is Adrien.”, she sighed. “Adrien Agreste.”

Beside her, Nooroo stiffened.

“A... Adrien Agreste?”

“Yeah, like the designer. Gabriel Agreste, you know him?”

Nooroo ducked into her collar and watched as the silver car passed them, carefully staying out of sight.

“Yes.”, Nooroo said with wide eyes, already feeling the purple mist that would leave his mouth if he tried to say the wrong name.

“I know him.”

[akumageist]

I would die for Hitori Uzune. RIP to Kazuaki, but I’m different.

The Hatoful fandom consists of 13 people and a paperclip. It always has. Unfortunately, it probably always will. Where this is cause for some perks, it’s also some of its faults. In example, it’s still an anime game, made by a Japanese woman, and attracts weebs. Weebs tend to like to think of characters 2-Dimensionally, breaking the character down to what they think is their core personality traits. Hitori is no stranger to this, and is beaten down into this heartless, manipulative, selfish bastard. But I believe Moa is saying “anyone, even the best of us, is capable of becoming a monster if driven to it.” Let’s roll.

2162. Hitori was born into a world of war and hate, plopped into an orphanage at just 2 years old. This can be found in Moa’s canon spin-off manga, where Hitori at about ten years old is caring for the other war orphans along with the other older birds. Luckily for him, he was a genius. He was able to go out and get jobs tutoring birds and support his rag-tag family at his young age.

With that, we know Hitori was not originally cold and heartless, despite how the world may have birthed him. Especially when Nageki arrived frail and sickly. Hitori and the other birds were happy to put in overtime in an attempt to pay for the poor dove’s medications, even in his protest.

Then, 2180 happened. Imagine what sort of toll that would take on Hitori. he was absent. He was at work, unaware of the jeopardy that befell his family. What kind of horrible, mind-rattling survivors guilt must rack this bird’s brain, knowing he wasn’t there as his family was massacred one by one?

“What did we do? We had nothing. Our parents and homes had already been stolen by the humans. All we had left were each other.”

We can gather from this same scene Hitori blames himself for not being there. For not being able to protect his family, or even Nageki. Even though had he been there, he would have died alongside everybirdie else, and left Nageki to succumb to his illness alone. Something of this magnitude would create anxieties and trauma unfathomable to those who did not deal with it.

In Hitori, this manifested as full-blown helicopter mom. He can’t help but think of every little nit-pick detail over Nageki, terrified one feather out of place will kill him. The fandom is good about this side of his character! And of course, so is Moa. This may be the Summer Vacation Drama CD: Hitori The Worrywart (which takes place in MIRROR AU), but I love it’s portrayal of the anxious quail.

Hitori continued to care and ache over Nageki’s declining health. He was desperate. Begging doctors, even though deep in his little quail brain he knew Nageki was a lost cause, and that he was dying. But he couldn’t think of a life without Nageki, and did all in his power to try and keep the bird as well as he could. We can see a great example of this love in words you might not think of.

“How about this? From now on, ‘I’m fine’ is not allowed.”

I’ve always imagined Hitori getting mildly heated at Nageki in this conversation.The quail is on his last strands of stability, and the dove he cares endlessly for is trying to hide the very thing he ails himself over. The genuinity in his words shines through- telling Nageki he’d rather hear he’s bad and hurting.

So, in this desperation, Hitori carted Nageki off to some strange doctor in some strange prestigious school. And how couldn’t he? A doctor who claimed to know of the virus eating away at Nageki’s life, and how to cure it. Hitori’s beacon of hope in a sea of darkness. The only bird in the entire universe he had left to love, the one he had arguably always favored and adored, was dying. He would do anything in his power to keep the one thing he loved alive, no matter the irrationality or cost. No matter the very dying bird’s own lips saying “I… don’t want to go.”

Whether or not you ship these birds, I firmly believe Hitori is in love with Nageki in a romantic sense.

“I can no longer love another creature // I think we meant more to each other than anybirdie else in the world... // The love I felt soured into resentment // I should remember the beautiful face I knew, not… a photo covered in scribbles”

Not to mention admitting he can’t bear to live without the dove in BBL. And, in his route, Hiyoko goes as far as to refer to this bird as a female, which means he’s speaking so fondly she’s assuming it was a lover, and therefore a woman. Hitori’s stopped any sort of love at the idea he can only love Nageki post-mortem. That is canon. And well… that’s not very brotherly, no matter how good of a relationship you may have with your sibling (I speak from experience).

Okay, okay, this persuasive essay is NOT for convincing you of this ship, that is another essay for another time. I’ve only mentioned this opinion because I need you to understand his irrationality for the one thing he has left, and the fragility of it. And why it might drive anybirdie to… Hitori-level madness. Moving on.

2183. A mere 3 years after Hitori had lost the majority of his family to human terrorists. Nageki sends a coded letter, and… we can see Hitori’s anxieties outright.

“It’s happening again. Nageki needs me, and I’m not there.”

This is… a very powerful line in the game. We’re seeing just how vulnerable Hitori truly is. This is a traumatized individual in a panic attack- realizing the love of his goddamn life is once again faced with something horrible, and Hitori is once again absent from the scene.

And just like that, he’s gone.

The only thing. The only one Hitori had left in life to love. To live for. Taken from him without so much as a second chance. This is painful to write. This part of Hatoful is, without a doubt, the most agonizing. I know how it is to lose something so dear and feel as though maybe it’s not worth going on without them.

This is the peak of Moa’s tragedy writing ability (and yes, I’m including Holiday Star). But this is my point, is it not? Though his kanji may be “sun bird”, the actual word for his name “Hitori” quite literally means one, alone, solitary. He is now all alone in the universe, no family left. How can anybirdie even remotely remain in charge of their faculties (as Sakuya would put it) by now? You wouldn’t.

Hitori is now a husk of his former self. Anything he’s ever cared for is gone, he has nothing left to live for. He goes- my favorite coined term for him- absolutely batshit. He gets what we call “trauma-induced psychosis”, and begins to hallucinate very vividly, a form that he refers to as “Nageki”. We all know him of course, as Shadow. Shadow, from the little information we’re able to gather from BBL, is tormenting Hitori ruthlessly.

Shadow is easily misunderstood, because Moa made him fathomable, so the reader was able to understand exactly what was happening. What had become of Hitori Uzune. Shadow in all his simplicity- is Hitori. It is an introjection of Nageki, manifested to validate Hitori in his self-hatred. Don’t you get it? He hates himself just as much as you hate him!

Anything Hitori thinks of himself, Shadow is there to back up. He’s taunting him day in and day out, reminding him that he killed Nageki, and every ounce of Nageki’s suffering life was the fruit of Hitori’s inability to protect him. But again, it’s his own brain, telling him exactly what he wants to hear. What he truly believes. Telling himself what he’s done, and how he deserves this. ...And to seek revenge.

Hitori lost his mind. He had nothing else to lose, after all. He became obsessed with Nageki even moreso than he was in life, because there was no level-headed dove to calm him and tell him to stop worrying so much, or keep him at least reasonably held together by simply being there.

He listened to his psychosis, and when he made a friend (Moa gives evidence Hitori and Kazuaki were friends prior to Hitori’s ill-intentions), his psychosis got in the way of that, too. As he travelled down this relationship (which Moa herself says is pretty much romantic), we can assume he realized just how unable to love he was. He had Kazuaki around because, let’s face it. He wanted someone like Nageki who was incompetent so he could nurture and care for them. And for a while, it worked. But it didn’t. Hitori didn’t love Kazuaki. He couldn’t. He was too busy looking for Nageki.

So, you’re reading this in english. You speak english. At least a little, right? So maybe you played the english (and localized) version of the game. Well then you may not know the following. Please pay attention! This gets a bit rocky, and a bit more “Hitori...!”.

In the English version, Hitori disguised as Kazuaki is “tired”. In the Japanese version, he’s “sleepy” or “dreamy”. I’d describe him as ditsy, for sure. He kind of acts like an airhead who knows absolutely nothing, and his students don’t take him seriously. In the Hatomame Sweet Blend Drama CD, there is a track that follows Kazuaki on a little adventure of his narcolepsy, and going to Shuu for help.

In and out of comatose, Hitori, as himself, is there in his dreams as a separate bird.

“This bird with a face I had never seen spoke to me in a voice I had never heard, and this is what he said.”

“Nanaki-sensei” is clearly denying his own identity.

“I’ll sleep, just a little, and then leave… good… night…”

“But sleeping is my job… You still have a little longer. Tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that…”

This is dream Hitori telling himself that he has to continue his alias until his revenge is fulfilled. The quail that was once Hitori must remain dormant until he is reunited with Nageki again, and can be happy again. As a metaphor for depression… don’t you feel like you’re a shell of your former self?

So, going off this information… I believe Hitori has repressed himself. This is due to my own knowledge on psychology but-- Hitori doesn’t want to be Hitori anymore. It’s too hard. Hitori the war orphan. Hitori the lone survivor. Hitori the murderer and identity thief. It’s him not wanting to deal with his trauma in a healthy way, and instead locking it up and becoming somebirdie new and undamaged.

He killed Hitori.

This falls into the other delusion- that Nageki is somehow not completely dead and gone and ash- but still trapped, somehow, somewhere, and Hitori needs to find and get him. To kill Isa and the researchers who “killed” Nageki, and bring “Nageki” home. Whatever he believes Nageki is. In BBL, we see this quite literally varies! He tried to cut Ryouta open and steal his liver!

“Sir, Nageki would have never wanted this…!”

There is no difference between a serial killer and someone in a court room screaming for the serial killer to be murdered in turn. That mourning mother is then one in the same with that killer, is she not? She sees him, and wants him to die. She wants him to die and suffer. She believes that will bring her a sense of justice. Even though she knows it will not return her son to her. Hitori, is that mourning mother. He sees Isa, and all he can see is the man who murdered his dove.

I know the biggest aspect as to why the fandom hates Hitori is the sole factor that Kazuaki is #relatable. He’s a depressed college student who thinks he’s better off dead. Then, Hitori tricks him. But you’re not reading Kazuaki right. It’s okay, he’s easy to misread from Holiday Star’s plotline. 

Holiday Star was written with Kazuaki as the villain, do you forget? A grey villain as well, but a villain nonetheless. He told his tragic sob story death in such a way, you can’t help but to cry. He’s the victim! I’m not saying he’s not. But he was written specifically to be pitied in Holiday Star, and as you continue on, you begin to see he’s actually just anti-self help. He doesn’t want to face his fears. He doesn’t want to leave his safe egg and take the risk he should have.

Kazuaki is meant to be pitied, yes,  but just on the brink of annoying with his helplessness and self-deprecation. He’s, forgive me, a “sad sack of shit” who does nothing to help himself. Don’t come after me for being “ableist” or whatever- Moa literally wrote him this way.

This is also depicted in “Kazuaki-kun’s Book”. Now, this book takes place in the MIRROR AU, but it tells of how Kazuaki met Hitori. Moa starts the manga off by explaining Kazuaki had a great chickhood, a healthy life, and an easy, happy time. But then, he flunked his college exams and didn’t even get into his safety school. He lazed around, grew depressed, and let his apartment rot. He played video games until his online friends got jobs, and wasted any money he had on them as well. The only thing that scared him out of it is when his next door neighbor was found dead, having rotted into his own futon.

So imagine Hitori, who has worked so hard and lost everything he had done so for. Tirelessly, through his horrible, fucked up existence. Nageki, who had his short and miserable life robbed from him, had to die. Had to kill himself. And this random quail has the audacity to bitch and moan, thinking he’s got it bad? He’s a waste of space that could have been filled with Nageki. This is what Hitori’s brain is thinking. Hitori’s only ~20 years old when Nageki dies, after all.

I’m not saying this is cause for murder and identity theft. Don’t you dare misread me on this. But as I’ve stated prior- Hitori’s completely lost it.  But you ship him with the chukar that literally ruined his life. Hitori’s a grey villain but holy fuck why would you want him to fuck the partridge that tortured and drove his only loved one to suicide?

It was wrong to trick Kazuaki. It was wrong to insult him as he died. It was wrong to steal his identity. That’s obvious and a given. But you all seem to look at that factoid alone, chalking it up to ‘preying on a poor mentally ill man” but not taking into consideration Hitori is mentally ill himself. ...Just not #relatable enough for you.

Hitori is suicidal as well. He’s been suicidal presumably since Nageki died. Don’t you dare say Hitori isn’t at least a little in the same boat. I don’t care if he’s not as soft and uwu and cuddly as Kazuaki. Mental illness is not rainbows and butterflies and emo hair (though Kazuaki is not portrayed this way).

Holiday star bears all the answers. I raise you important points, so pay close attention. The first key component is Hitori, found upside down in the pudding. He’s crying. Why is he crying? Because he’s lost his name? Oh, but think deeper.

“I’m Nemo”.

“Nemo” is latin for nothing, and his name translates to “nothing” in every language of HoliStar. The King has vomited him up in his kingdom, and robbed him back of what he stole from him. His identity.

But it goes even deeper than that.

“I’ve lost something, and so, I think I might cry.”

From this phrase alone, it’s painful to play this game. Nageki is right in front of his beak. But what did he do? He ate his own eyes. Hitori, in his refusal to identify with himself, has robbed himself of quite literally seeing the very bird he adores and sought after. Then, he is renamed his own identity by that bird (the only identity he accepts). How surreally real.

The second key component is when everybirdie is being rescued, but Leone warns Yuuya the quail is clearly falling more rapidly into a coma, and may not be able to awake. Why is this? Because Hitori wants to die. He’s fine with it, and Kazuaki is more than happy to keep him. When Yuuya finds him, Hitori is not at all alarmed as he should be. He seems passive, and simply wants to fall back to sleep. He’s to the point of trying to strangle Yuuya in attempt to let himself fall into eternal slumber (even if he thinks Yuuya is… Kazuaki..?).

Heed these next words carefully. When Yuuya asks if The King did something to him, Hitori replies-

“...No, all The King did was close the door.”

I am a firm believer this is Hitori indirectly saying “Kazuaki did nothing wrong, and I do not resent him for hating me.” Especially since Hitori shows signs of knowing it’s Kazuaki, and repenting.

“He said I need to be punished. Apparently I did something bad… and I think I know what it was.”

This is confirmed in my next point, so bear with me.

Hitori, in this same conversation, is admitting he wants to die. The only thing that stops him- as morbid as it may be, is remembering this takes place before the events of BBL. He hasn’t fulfilled what he believes is his “something I need to do”. Which is seek revenge, and bring Nageki home, as per Shadow’s orders.

Lastly, at the bitter end of Holiday Star when everybirdie is plummeting through the air from the false star, Hitori is still blind and confused. Suddenly, The King erupts from behind Hitori, and appears to be talking to him.

--

“Oh, is that right?”

--

“...I know, I know. ...but it’s still too soon. That’s right, I’ll be along soon. I’ll catch up with you. Someday…”

This is arguably my most prominent point in the entire essay. This is Hitori, admitting not only does he still plan to kill himself, but that he intends to keep his promise and reunite with Kazuaki in the afterlife. These are not the words of a heartless quail. These are the words of somebirdie who knows they’ve taken advantage of a friend, but is continuing to do their best to keep their promises and make amends. This is Hitori telling Kazuaki he still cares for him.

Hitori is the result of trauma and hardship beyond compare, and his inability to cope. He is not meant to be hated. He is meant to have shock value, yes. What he has done his disgusting, but you want to love him. Because he raised the sweetest bird in the entire game who would rather kill himself than hurt others.

Grey-villains are difficult, and because you can’t love them for being purely evil, you end up hating them for being a good person who’s done bad things. Hitori is a cracked window. Not quite shattered, but no longer whole, with a faulty image. Hitori is not just some heartless, manipulative, selfish bastard. He’s quite literally a bird with a broken wing (or entire ribcage more like), trying to… well, Live, and be happy.

[fantasyinvader]

Kamen Rider Saber: Finale and Series Review

Okay, before I start disemboweling this series I want to give the finale two points of props.

It was nice to see the main trio fight the big bad together rather than it just being the lead Rider.

The ending really feels nostalgic for me. It's like one of those old games or anime that tried to do something like Evangelion, mostly Star Ocean 3 comes to mind.

I was going to add another point: how the ending didn't have to rely on a cosmic retcon to turn things into a happy ending like Build or Zi-o did, leaving those who died dead and having some level of maturity. I was going to give the show that point, even if it felt like it was leading into Touma essentially becoming God, but then the show did it and...I'm going to be honest here, I was saying fuck you at the screen. Multiple times, kinda like when Doctor Who's 50th anniversary where it turns out Gallifrey wasn't destroyed, the Doctor sealed it away and just couldn't remember it. Like, that is the level of bullshit I was calling out, and with Doctor Who I only said it as an “oh fuck you” rather than just “fuck you fuck you fuck you” until I noticed I was doing this and stopped myself.

Got it? Good. Now let's put Kamen Rider Saber on the examination table, rip it open, and see what went wrong with it.

Oh my god, where to begin with this series?

You ever see a show or movie that tries to do too much for it's runtime? Maybe a book that has some ultimately good ideas, but it never fleshed them out properly? That's my biggest feeling with Saber. Individual parts of the story, some arcs and characters are good on paper. Not to mention, Touma has two incredibly sexy upgrades (the Ryuki-inspired Draconic Knight and the berserker Primitive Dragon). But there is just so much in here that, given the proper focus could have carried the show if properly developed. It's a case of quantity over quality.

But the main problem comes to it's central McGufffin, the Omniscient Tome. This book is supposed to have all knowledge and later on all stories contained within it. It's what powers Wonderworld and the Wonder Ridebooks that are the main collectable trinket of the season. But when you stop and think about it, Saber is a world where there is no free will and the antagonists are all rebelling against this in their own way. Kento's dad (former Kamen Rider Calibur) went rogue in the backstory because he was given a vision of the future through his sword, and it led to the former Saber taking up the role of Calibur and going rogue in order to learn the truth. When the other riders are turned against Touma, the argument is over how he's destined to become more powerful, making Touma seem like he's seeking power and could be a future threat. When Kento returns from the dead, he's haunted by visions of the world ending in multiple variations, leading to him trying to seal the Sacred Blades in order to stop it. But then Master Logos is revealed to be buttfucking insane, wanting to rebel against his position in the world. Then it turns out the monster faction's leader, was a former poet who lost hope when he learned that all his creations were already in the Omniscient Tome, so he decided he would end the world his way rather than the predetermined ending. And even then, the world still ended the way it was always fated to end, even with Touma disappearing to nu-Wonderworld if only for a year.

The world wasn't saved, it was destroyed and then rebuilt because Mei wrote an online post that encouraged people to share their stories, which they did in oblivion even though these guys shouldn't have seen the post at all and instead just heard her voice.

Like, maybe the nu-World has free will. I'd buy that. But when applied to the 47 episodes I've spent the last year watching (alongside the Zenkaiger crossover episode), it felt pointless because it ended the way it was foretold in the Omniscient Tome. It didn't matter that Storious was defeated, fate was not averted. It's like, the complaints people have about the MCU post-Loki. It doesn't matter that Tony decided to sacrifice himself, because he didn't have free will. He was always going to sacrifice himself. Thanos was always going to snap away half the universe, and it would always be undone because choices didn't matter before Loki's ending.

And that's not even going into how they final arc reveals that Touma can somehow create stories not present in the Omniscient Tome. That he can somehow, because the personification of Wonderworld choose him as a child, that for some reason he's the only writer in history that can do this. His catchphrase is about how he'll be the one who'll decide how the story ends, but with the idea that everything was set into stone? It's laughable.

Like, my problem with Zero One's ending was the last scene. Aruto had learned a lot about the Humagears and was an advocate for them finding their own dreams as they became self-aware AI. So him trying to treat a new humagear as just an amnesiac Is  and try to help her “remember”? That felt like a betrayal of the character and what he stood for. But the post-series movie revealed that Is left a copy of herself in the Zero Two driver, and merged with the non-self aware nu-Is who the movie kept reminding us wasn't the Is we knew. Aruto even had a sobbing scene about what he was doing, lowkey acknowledging what he was doing but without overtly calling him out. It fixed Zero One for me after that last scene left me with a bad taste in my mouth that overshadowed an otherwise excellent show.

You can't fix Saber with a single movie, that's what I'm getting at here.

So, with that out of the way let's go into my thoughts on each character.

Touma: Is one of the blandest main riders in the franchise. His sense of style is probably one of the worst I've ever seen though. Like I know they like to try and give the main riders their own look rather than having them dress like normal people, like Aruto wearing a hoodie under his suit jacket alongside with his very bright shoes, but this wasn't a W or even something like Ghost (where honestly I really liked Takeru's robe-like shirts). What they eventually settled on with Touma was a stupid hat, really baggy pants, and shirts that look like they came out of a stern librarian's closest. You know, the type with her hair in a bun and their horned-framed glasses on a chain.

Rintaro:Is one of those cases where he's meant to be the secondary Rider of the series, but is overshadowed because the writer likes to use someone else more. The idea of him having to turn against the organization that raised him (like a child soldier) could have worked really well if the series had a more free will-direction. But alas.

Kento: Kento's the one character I found I could really like. His arc was more interesting during the first quarter, his return as Calibur, but then he returned to being Espada and, as much as I love that suit, he just became Touma's main cheerleader. Really, I felt like towards the end it was a waste of him, especially since he doesn't get any power ups like Rintaro did to solidify him as one of the main three. He definitely feels like a victim of rewrites or just the writer not knowing what he was doing.

Mei: The female lead. Honestly, I just found her annoying most of the time. A womanchild to match Touma's more manchild moments, with a potential romance with Rintaro thrown in to only be confirmed in a future movie. Really, she should have taken over as Espada after Kento disappeared early on (especially since she's one of the three in the Ending dance while Kento isn't).

Daishinji: I'd say best boy, but he became a background character pretty quick.

Ogami: An older Kamen Rider who is also a father to a young child? Cool, and could even have worked in contrast to Rintaro's raising as essentially a child soldier. But alas, it was not to be.

Ren: OMG. A somewhat psycho younger Rider, idolizing Kento, and his social Darwinist beliefs on strength leading to conflict as Touma gets more powerful, leading to him abandoning the team to train with an enemy monster? HOW DO YOU MAKE THAT NOT WORK! I swear, Ren should have been the secondary Rider of the series, with his changes in beliefs being used more effectively.

Yuri: One of the most competantly written characters in the entire show. One of the original swordsman who became his sword, returning after 2000 years and not only feeling the culture clash of then and now but even how the idea of what makes a hero has changed? Good boy. Also loved him using a shadow body early on during fights.

Sophia: Why are you even here?

Reika: Oh boy, the swordswoman who leads the rest to distrust Touma under the orders of Master Logos, and doesn't sway from this until he's proven to be batshit insane? And even then, reluctant to join the others? Could have been better, especially if her relationship with her brother didn't come across as incesty. Though, could we please return her to Magine in Zenkaiger? Reika hugging her was really cute, in a socially awkward type of way.

Ryoga: Reika's brother. With his powers being something out of Jojo, time manipulation powers which are a bit hard to explain. He starts them and to his opponents things seem like the fight is continuing as normal, but he really exists outside of that and then can attack from a blindspot? Could have been really good with if the series had gone Team Free Will is all I'm saying.

Master Logos: What I mentioned above, but his Rider suit is one I'm in lust with. Just laughs like a madman and you're wondering why Reika and Ryoga don't rebel against him earlier.

The Megid: Two are a waste who I never bothered to learn their names. Fall out of focus for a bit and only return to be beaten, with the sad fact that they were once human. Storious is the exception, but even then I felt he was a little too late to save the series.

Tassel: Bon Lecture! I still hate you you weirdo, even if your death scene made me feel a little sad. The fact that you treated the early parts of the show as a story you were reading? Have you seen my other complaints?

As for the message of what the show tried to say? I don't really mind it. It's encouraging people to love stories, even if they are copies (considering the controversy of Time Paradox Ghostwriter and Cheat Slayer within recent memory, I'm trying not to make jokes about Saber encouraging plagiarism). And I don't think that's a bad thing in itself. Hell, how many stories take stuff from older stories and just tweak elements to make them their own? I love the Elric saga, but that was based on old legends and meant to subvert the likes of Conan the Barbarian, and some other stories I've liked have borrowed elements from it as well. The idea that stories can be used to pass on our hopes, thoughts and dreams to others is pretty nice as well, rather than writing being a form of masturbation on the author's part.

But in the shadow of the Omniscient Tome and it's implications, I really feel the story should have taken another route.

A lot of Riders start of weak, having to introduce the plot as well as the main release of whatever trinket they want kids to gorge themselves on this year. But they usually start getting better towards the end of the first quarter, while maybe stalling a bit towards the end of the second/third. Saber was a series that I felt never really found it's legs. Too many bareboned plot threads on the go, dropping some for a while only to pick them up again after they've been forgotten about. This is not a good series, to be honest I think Zi-O and even Ghost were better, and really feel it would have been better handled in the hands of someone who could actually write. 

Not to mention, this gave me flashbacks of Power Rangers Megaforce over how much this series relied on fight scenes. Throw in greenscreen everywhere, lack of civilians...oh god, it is Kamen Rider Megaforce. And it felt like Saber was trying to have a story, unlike Megaforce, but it has the same “it’s a kid’s show, we don’t have to try that hard” energy.

[sethrine-writes]

Projections of the Forgotten, Ch. 1

Fandom:  Tiger & Bunny

Pairing:  Barnaby “Bunny” Brooks Jr. x Female Reader

Rating:  Mature

Chapter Warnings:  Ominous vibes

Fic Summary:  Racing against the clock, Barnaby must rely on the help of Kotetsu and the other Heroes in finding you, a woman who has been projecting herself into the partners' forced dreams.

Barnaby knew who you were...but he could not remember you, truly. Even so, something was terribly wrong, and he only had so much time until you became nothing more than a mere memory of a dream.

A/N:  A T&B reader-insert fic? In this day and age? It's more likely than you think. Can't thank my friend, @kyarymell, enough for introducing me to this anime. I can't believe I missed out on it, back in the day! Anyways, here's to hoping there's still some fans out there who will enjoy this indulgent little fic. Enjoy!

------

Chapter 1 - An Ominous Walk in the Park

"Are you lost?"

Barnaby blinked his eyes open, unaware that he had even had them closed to begin with. He glanced up at the inky black sky overhead, not a trace of stars or the moon to be had, then began to look all around him. Confusion clouded his narrowed gaze as he took in his new surroundings of nicely trimmed trees and winding cobblestone paths, wood and iron benches illuminated softly by strategically placed lamp posts.

How had he ended up at a park, of all places? It wasn't a familiar place, at least not one he recognized in Sternbild. And it was so dark out...he was sure it had been midday only moments ago.

What had he been doing all afternoon, and why couldn’t he remember any of it?

"Hm?"

He turned around fully, eyes naturally falling on the only other individual that seemed to be within his proximity.

You seemed every bit engrossed in the dark void of sky hovering above the treetops, gazing intently at something that he could not see. It was a wonder he hadn’t seen you, at first, standing there beneath one of the lamp posts, the light acting as a sort of beacon in the almost unnatural darkness of the night.

Barnaby stepped closer.

"Excuse me-"

"Are you lost?"

He nearly startled at your voice, having stopped mid-step at the intense feeling of deja-vu that overcame him. That question...you had already asked that very question, just moments ago, yet he hadn't realized he had been spoken to. He wasn’t even sure he had realized you had spoken at all before that moment.

Barnaby still wasn't completely sure if you were truly talking to him, either, so focused you were on the sky.

"I believe I am, yes," he answered cautiously, taking a few more steps closer, but keeping a healthy distance between. "I'm almost embarrassed to admit I'm not entirely sure where 'here' is."

There was a pause in the conversation, allowing Barnaby to have yet another glance around the unfamiliar park, then a moment to better study you.

He was fairly certain he had never seen you before, your face and your voice not sparking any immediate familiarity in him. You seemed fairly normal, just from his first glances, but even so, Barnaby couldn't help but feel that something wasn't quite right. It was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind, almost as if he were forgetting something.

You blinked, a lethargic movement that seemed rather odd, much too slow. Your eyes continued to linger overhead.

"This is an unnecessarily dangerous situation for someone like you to find themselves in. You walked into something you shouldn't have, I'm afraid."

Barnaby's breath hitched just slightly at your words, finding a challenge between the lines of what you were saying. It was almost comical how quickly the Hero in him was on alert, expecting the tables to turn on him at any moment.

The park remained unbothered, quiet, eerily so.

Barnaby retained tension in his shoulders, regardless.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand what you're implying."

Your gaze finally left the sky and turned towards him, though it was then that  Barnaby noticed you weren't really looking at him, or anywhere in particular, for that matter. Eyes glazed over and almost dull, it was as if you were barely aware he was even in front of you at all.

"Let me escort you out of here," you spoke once more, though Barnaby was suddenly under the impression that you barely had any sense to what you were saying, "it's best not to linger in such a precarious environment."

He watched as you turned carefully, dazed steps beginning to lead you out of the light of the lamp post.

Impulsively, Barnaby all but dashed forward, reaching out and catching your wrist before you could completely slip into the darkness. It wasn't like him to be so brash, but something about the whole situation still wasn't sitting right in his mind. Allowing you to step away felt more dangerous than the impartial threat your words provided.

It felt as if letting you walk out of the light meant you would disappear, too, and he couldn't linger too long on the thought of why that was an issue without making his head spin.

His action caused another immediate sense of deja-vu, a small laps in memory hitting him so suddenly that it made his chest ache unpleasantly. He had done something like this before, perhaps not under the same pretenses, but he had definitely caught your wrist...and he was sure it was your wrist, the way the smooth, braided herringbone metal of your bracelet felt cool against his fingertips, creating a unique sensation nothing else had ever provided.

Barnaby knew who you were...but he could not remember you, truly.

The ache in his head and his chest was becoming insistent the longer he attempted to piece together just what exactly was happening.

You looked over your shoulder just as slowly as you had turned away from him, eyes unseeing for several long seconds. Then, as if the trance you were under suddenly lifted, you began to blink away the dullness in your stare, a light of warmth and confusion and recognition brightening your gaze.

A gasp parted your lips, and Barnaby tensed at the sound.

"Can...can you really-?"

"Hey, Bunny, come on...Barnaby, wake up!"

Startled, Barnaby bolted up from his prone position, immediately regretting the movement as pain bloomed across his forehead. He reached up instinctively and flinched at the sharper ache upon touching just above his eye.

"He's awake!"

"Goodness, Handsome, you had us nearly worried to death!"

"Here, for your head, de gozaru."

Barnaby blinked a few times, still disoriented from having sat up so suddenly, and took the ice pack nearly shoved into his face with a dazed thanks before looking around him.

He was on the floor of the training facility, though looking at his clothes, he hadn't been there to work out as he first thought. He had...he had been looking for Kotetsu, if his memory served him right. There was a matter about some upcoming interview he needed to discuss with the older Hero, and he'd been directed to the training facility.

The other Heroes -his friends- were knelt alongside him in a loose semi-circle at the moment, their faces showing expressions of both relief and concern for his well-being. Before, they had all been doing their own exercises, or conversing amongst one another, some having taken just a moment to greet him as he passed by.

Just slightly further to his right, he could see Kotetsu in a similar situation as himself, on the floor and holding an ice pack to his head. He, at least, looked much more put together in his own impractical way, cross-legged and grinning almost nervously as Antonio and Karina both hovered over him, glowering, yet worried, much like the others.

He'd been meandering on the treadmill, Barnaby recalled, stopping almost immediately at having seen his approach and rushing over just as quickly as if his partner had been waiting for an opportunity for distraction.

Everything after that was hazy at best.

As if sensing his thoughts, Kotetsu turned and caught his eye, his partner's toothy smile brightening considerably and becoming more genuine.

"Hey, Bunny! Thought you'd never wake up, there for a minute."

Barnaby blinked slowly, perhaps almost comically so, at the nickname before his brows furrowed in confusion.

"What happened? Were we attacked?"

Kotetsu's grin dropped rather suddenly, a mirror image of Barnaby's own confusion showing on the older Hero's face. He watched as his partner lowered the ice pack, reaching up once more to scratch at the back of his head in deep thought.

"Eh...I don't know. You were talking about some interview thing, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up on the floor! Think I hit my head on something on the way down."

"You idiot," Karina piped in, arms crossed and lips pursed, "you knocked out Barnaby! Probably overworked yourself and just headbutted him right to the ground when you passed out."

That would definitely explain the ache in his head, Barnaby surmised, but even with Kotetsu's penchant for accidents and acting as if things were alright when they clearly weren't, they had been standing steadily in front of each other, and Kotetsu hadn't shown any signs of overexertion, only boredom.

"Actually," Keith spoke up, catching everyone's attention and calming a near-shouting match in the making, "I saw what happened. You were both talking, and suddenly just started swaying in place before collapsing. It was the strangest thing, and stranger, still!"

"It really was sudden," Pao-Lin agreed. “You had us all pretty worried, especially since we couldn’t wake you as quickly as Tiger.”

Barnaby reeled at the information, perplexed.

"Well, glad we had you guys to save our tails," Kotetsu said with a grin, seemingly trying to diffuse the fuss surrounding them both, as he often did. "I was having the weirdest dream, too, about a woman in some really dark park."

"Wow, what a way to be creepy, even in your own dreams," Antonio drawled, Kotetsu immediately bristling at the playful accusation.

"It wasn't like that!" Kotetsu shouted, frowning animatedly while crossing his arms in defense. "She was acting weird, kept saying ominous things and asking, ah…"

"Are you lost?"

The question slipped out of Barnaby's mouth before he could stop it, prompting a surprised and somewhat startled expression from Kotetsu. Barnaby was sure he looked roughly the same, a little wide-eyed and ruffled at whatever was happening.

“Yeah! How, uh...how did you know that?”

"Believe it or not, I had the same exact dream."

All eyes were suddenly on Barnaby, shocked gasps and murmurs ringing out amongst the Heroes as he continued on a heavier note.

"I...I think I know who she is, but I can't seem to remember."

[6rookie-writer0110]

Ancient draw our map

Barry Allen x Male Reader Joker’s son

Summary- Barry tries to win back Reader after Oliver changed the world.

-Before the Infinite Crisis -

Finding out the Crisis is coming soon, you and Barry spend every single moment together. Barry starts to decorate the condo because it's Valentine's day. Barry used his speed to grab dinner and dessert. You walked into the condo and see everything that Barry did.

”Happy Valentine's Day, Y/N” Barry said with a smile.

”I really like what you did. And Happy Valentines Day” You said.

Barry walked closer to you and Barry starts to kiss you.

”I got our favorite dinner from that restaurant we go to,” Barry said.

”Good, because I tried to make reservations but I had no luck,” You said.

Barry grabbed your hand walks you towards the table. Barry can't stop smiling and he turns on the music. You and Barry slow dance.

”Y/N, I’m feeling scared but with you I know I can try and defeat Anti monitor. And I was hoping you can ask your dad for help. We need everyone’s help villain or hero” Barry said.

”I won't ask my dad. Can we just enjoy our night just us?” You said.

”I’m sorry and you are right. Let’s eat and I have dessert” Barry said.

”Good to know,” You said.

You and Barry sit down together and start to eat. After dinner, you and Barry play board games while eating dessert.

After a while playing board games, you and Barry cuddle on the couch and watch movies.

Barry and the other’s know that you are father is the infamous Joker. Before you got married, Barry didn't judge you and he always proved it to you. Your father is angry that you don't follow in his footsteps. And he doesn't approve of Barry and he never once tried to change.

”I have a gift for you,” Barry said.

”Me too, but you go first,” You said.

Barry used his speed to get the gift and come back. You open the box and it's a ring.

”Barry, wow I-I don't know what to say,” You said.

It's a ring of a card with the flash symbol in the middle.

”I got this ring because it's us. And hopefully, it will replace the ring which your dad’s thugs took from you” Barry said.

”If you weren't there I would have killed them. That ring meant a lot when you proposed to me” You said.

”How about we go to the beach,” Barry said.

” It's not summer,” You said.

”I know, just hang on tight,” Barry said.

-Day of the Infinite Crisis-

Everyone is fighting alongside trying to stop the spirits and especially Anti monitor.

You are highly skilled when it comes to combat. You start to throw your razor-sharp cards but Anti monitor easily destroyed the cards. Anti monitor was going to use his powers on you but Barry saved you.

”Thanks, babe,” You said.

”Y/N, be careful,” Barry said.

Barry kissed you.

”Be careful?” Barry said.

”I will now go help, Oliver. You already said it twice!” You said.

You go help the others while Sara and Barry try to help Oliver.

✬ ✫ ✯ ✬

After creating the justice league and Prime Earth is born, Barry really wanted to see you. He ran to the condo but noticed what something is different and he starts to look around the condo. He doesn't see any pictures of you and him together. He called your phone but a woman picked up. He ran to Star Labs Ralph, Cisco and Caitlin are there with Nash.

”Guys, have you seen Y/N?” Barry asked.

”Who?” Caitlin asked.

”My husband Y/N. I can't find him anywhere and I called his phone but it belongs to someone else” Barry said.

”Barry, you have been single for only a month. You just got out of a relationship and you weren't married” Caitlin said.

”N-no that can't be true. Don't you remember what happened with the crisis?” Barry said.

”I think you need to relax and take it easy with the speed,” Cisco said.

Barry tried to look you up on the computer and he found you. He is in shock about what is going on.

Barry used speed trying to find you but no luck. Barry is trying to figure out what is the same and what changed. He went to see Kara, Sara, and Kate they tell him what is different. J’onn helped some remember what happened during the crisis.

✬ ✫ ✯ ✬

Barry and Kara got the call of breaking in a laboratory.

”Breaking in is the law, going to have to turn all of you in,” Kara said.

Joker laughed and Barry glares at him.

”First time in a while a hero made me laugh,” Joker said

You take off the mask and Barry’s eyes almost popped off his head.

”It... Can't be... Y/N?” Barry asked.

”Have we met? Flash and Supergirl, always ruining our fun!” You said.

”Father and son moment is always good even when breaking the law,” Joker said.

Joker used his acid flower to stop them but they easily dodge it. Then you use your razor-sharp cards and it cut Barry’s suit and his cheek. He starts to bleed. Joker laughed and he is happy of you did and Kara starts to fight him.

Barry doesn't want to stop and he is trying to stop you. But you did hurt him, his mask falls apart because of the cards.

”You are not fun. What is wrong with you?” You said.

”You are my husband and I don't want to fight you, Y/N” Barry plead.

You look at him confused.

”We never dated. Okay, what is bothering you?” You said.

Barry lets his guard down and you take out the Exploding Teeth and gave it to him. He is confused about why you did that and you give him a sinister look. It explodes and your father laughed. Then he used smoke gas and you managed to escape with your dad. Barry didn't know what to do and Kara helped him stand up.

Barry is back at Star Labs and his heart hurts so much. He doesn't know what to say or what to do next.

”Barry are you okay?” Cisco asked.

”No! I'm not okay! My husband is a villain and he works his dad! I have to get him back and he has to remember. Y/N never wanted to be like his father and he tried everything not to be like him. I don't know how to make him remember and J’onn is busy and he can't help” Barry said.

”We will help him remember. I will try to make something that as the same effects as J’onn’s powers. We will get Y/N back” Cisco said.

Barry doesn't smile and he is still feeling sad. Barry went to his condo and he lies in bed and sighed. He takes out his wallet and he looks at the picture of you and him together.

✬ ✫ ✯ ✬

Barry found you breaking into the bank and stealing money and jewelry. He takes off his mask and he walked closer to you.

”Y/N, you have to remember. You are my husband and we are in love with each other” Barry said.

”People say I’m crazy. I don't know what you are talking about but you are not my type” You said.

Barry hears gunshots he puts on the mask and runs to save the victims. You walk out with the stolen items and your father gave you a gun.

”Don’t do it” Barry pleads.

You aimed the gun and you were going to pull the trigger but Barry used his speed, and he used the gadget to help you remember.

The flashbacks hit you hard and you are speechless.

”Y/N!” Joker yelled.

”You remember,” Barry said.

”Think again, flashy,” You said.

You start to shoot the chandelier and Barry starts to move people out of the way. You escape with your father again.

You in the hideout with your father and he noticed your behavior is different.

”Why does, he think you are his husband?” Joker asked.

”He has me confused with someone else. Plus, I'm dating Digger” You said.

Also known as Captain Boomerang.

”Never date a hero, they are no fun,” Joker said.

You just nod. You do remember everything but don't know what to do.

✬ ✫ ✯ ✬

You let Barry find you and he wants to kiss you so badly.

”This isn't really you, Y/N. You are the good guy not like your father” Barry said.

”You don't know me or what I been through. Whatever, you are doing stop it before you I make you regret it” You hissed.

”I know you remember, I see it in your eyes,” Barry said.

You glared at him and he tried to grab your hand but Captain Boomerang threw a boomerang, but Barry grabbed it.

”Back off! He is my boyfriend!” Digger yelled.

”This can't be happening,” Barry said.

Digger put his arm around you and kissed you in front of Barry. It really hurt him and Digger just smirked at him.

”He is my husband!” Barry snapped.

Digger laughed and you grabbed Barry’s hand and used the Electric Joy Buzzer. It shocked Barry and he fell down to the ground and you look down at him.

”You are not my type and he is my boyfriend,” You said.

You laughed and Barry is passed out.

”Let’s get a drink. And I really need you” Digger said and kissed your neck.

You and Digger just left Barry on the ground. You and Digger robbed a liquor store then went to his place.

[homosociallyyours]

@velvet-impala tagged me to answer this long set of questions, and bc I love this sort of thing I’m DOING IT! I’ll tag folks here just in case you don’t want to read thru this whole dang thing. But I wanna say: if you want to do this, PLEASE DO IT and tag me so I can see-- I *love* reading responses to stuff like this. But @la-paritalienne @disgruntledkittenface @and-id-marry-larry @calmrry @crinkle-eyed-boo @lightwoodsmagic -- y’all are tagged :) 

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black, but what matters most is how smoothly it writes.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? walkable neighborhood in a city. 3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? would love to learn how to hack into billionaire bank accounts without getting caught so i could redistribute their wealth to a variety of mutual aid funds. :)  4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? no, just milk! unless it’s really shitty/bitter coffee, and then i will take it with a couple sugars or sweetened creamer. 

5. What was your favourite book as a child? probably the Anne of Green Gables books  6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! i wanna love a bath, but i get bored too fast and i never feel comfortable (where do i put my head? my feet? what do i do when my belly isn’t covered by the water and it gets cold?) so they’re meh. 

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? dryad! i wanna be a tree spirit!

8. Paper or electronic books? paper, i guess. but i do love reading fic electronically, so..

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? used to be my work hoodie. but now i would say this blue striped button down i have OR this one black dress i have with 3/4 sleeves that’s really soft and comfy. 

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i always meant to start going by Dottie when I got older, but it hasn’t happened yet so it probably won’t by now? but i would never change my name generally speaking. 

more after the cut! 

  11. Who is a mentor to you? i had a co-worker who was really a mentor for me since i got into being a cheesemonger in 2008. he’s been in the industry for a long time and basically recruited me to the job i have/had here. but when i got sick he basically dropped me/hasn’t spoken to me in a long time. let me tell you: it fucking sucks. bc a mentor is a cross between a friend and a colleague and a relative; we jokingly called him my lesbian uncle. and so losing him from my life so completely over something like this is deeply shitty. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for?  not now, but before i was sick i would’ve said yes. BUT only bc i think i would be a great Saturday Night Live host (not a cast member! just a one time host with a monologue/skits). So whatever level of fame i needed to get that..

13. Are you a restless sleeper? I have really bad insomnia that means i take at least an hour to fall asleep most nights. Once I’m out, I usually sleep ok, but i do have intense dreams/nightmares that wake me up sometimes. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? yeah :/

15. Which element best represents you? earth: the wet dirt and leaves in a forest after rain in particular

16. Who do you want to be closer to? emotionally i’m pretty good i think. physically i wish i could be closer to friends and family in NYC, Seattle area, TN/Atlanta, and Germany

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? the people referenced above. also missing my Grandmomma a lot lately and my mom. 

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. art lessons with my grandmomma. her set of pastels that were all worn down and the heavy paper (black) that she pulled out to work on. she drew a quick portrait of a man, showing me how to create depth in skin tones with blue and green against the softer flesh tones. she didn’t blend it out, the marks all painterly and strong-- her style. i was 10, maybe? 12? so not *early* but it feels like forever ago. 

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i have no idea? i’ve eaten a lot of weirdish cheeses. i’ve had geoduck? 

20. What are you most thankful for? the amazing friends i’ve gathered into my life along the way, my dad, and my baby dog. 

21. Do you like spicy food? yes, within reason (i don’t get stuff that’s spicy just for the heck of it, like ghost pepper chips or whatever? but when spice is integrated in with other flavors i love it)

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i used to make up stories about meeting famous people that were based on partial truths. i’ve hung out with or met a lot of gay famous people. but the biggest person who comes to mind is Sandra Bernhard. I sold her cheese.  23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? i have over the years. now i sometimes write things down in a paper journal, but mostly go to a really old blogging site where i basically put all my big feelings down in a public but sorta private spot.  

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? depends on my mood.

25. What is your star sign? taurus sun and moon, gemini rising

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? in between...not HARD crunchy, but not soft soggy. 

27. What would you want your legacy to be? would like people to remember that i loved them well and made them feel good/happy when i was around them. and hopefully that it made them feel like being good to others too. 

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? i do, but i’m mostly reading fic these days. i think the thing i read last was Pink Like the Paradise Found, which was FANTASTIC!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i tell them, shower them with physical affection, and do little things for them. also try to remember small details about what they enjoy and then do stuff to make them feel good when they’re down

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? yes, but not too much

31. What are you afraid of? sometimes being along but only when it’s very dark out and i’m in the sads. honestly-- this is some deep internalized ableism but here it is --i’m very afraid of never getting better and not being able to take care of myself or anyone else. 

32. What is your favourite scent? jasmine flowers, pu-er tea, the specific scents of people i love

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? however they’re introduced i guess. maybe because i’m an older person lol

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would live in the apartment i had alone (with a guest room). i would hire someone from my community to come help me out sometimes. i would get a weekly grocery delivery from the good quality place. i would have a dog walker. and i would fly home to see my family more than once a year and fly my family out for a visit sometimes. so like. probably the way a lot of ppl live? idk. 

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? ocean

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? get dinner at the thai restaurant down the street a couple times. 

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? yes, lots! 

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? i’m not having kids BUT for the kids in my life, i try to teach them/model the importance of consent and respect for their own bodies as well as other people’s. and i know it said one thing, but alongside that is that i respect and love them for who they are, and that’s something they get to decide. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i want a lot of tattoos, but if i could get one tomorrow it would be a cheese themed tattoo with a variety of cheese knives (parm tools, dutch style knife) and a small cheese assortment. or a portrait of my dog

40. What can you hear now? this kinda dumb netflix show that i decided to binge today even tho it’s only kinda meh and my dog snoring just a little. 

41. Where do you feel the safest? when i’m surrounded by friends. 

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my stupid money issues prolly

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? wanna go back to 1977 and live in the girl direction AU i wrote last year, lol.

44. What is your most used emoji? laugh crying emoji or sobbing maybe

45. Describe yourself using one word. colorful

46. What do you regret the most? not sure if this is a thing but i regret not realizing when i got bitten by a tick/got lyme disease the first time, bc maybe i could’ve just taken antibiotics and killed it, and then maybe i wouldn’t be sick? 

47. Last movie you saw? watched the new charlie’s angels the other night

48. Last tv show you watched? this dumb show is called sweet magnolias, and it’s. honestly not terrible! it’s just not my style of show. OH WAIT i take it back, they left it on a really shitty cliffhanger without warning, and that is the one way to make me drop your show/fic HARD unless i like. genuinely love you. so byeeee dumb show, hope you get cancelled

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. saungry: sadness brought on by being hungry, like hangry except oops you’re crying now! example: “fuck i knew i should’ve eaten before calling my best friend, now i miss them and i’m too saungry to figure out what to eat! Guess I’ll have tears for dinner” (almost called it sungry, but the internet thinks that might just mean ‘so hungry’)

did you make it to the end? WOW! devotion. thank you. 

[hlupdate]

Harry Styles is lucky I think he's utterly adorable. He's an hour late and I'm guilt-ridden, missing my puppy's first day at puppy school because of it.

Is this what it's like to be a working mum? Maybe. Styles would be horrified if he knew, I'm certain. He is a man of the people, a self-proclaimed feminist, who could surely sympathise with this working (dog) mum's plight.

They say never meet your heroes in case they turn out to be a disappointment, but maybe they should also say never meet your favourite pop stars in case they turn out to be truly terrible at time management.

I first met Styles alongside four of his teenage friends in 2012. It was just a few years since they'd formed One Direction on The X Factor, and this was their first world tour. They were lined up on chintzy armchairs in the private lounge of a stuffy Auckland hotel. That day, a bit like this one, I spent more time sitting in the hallway waiting for my turn than I did interviewing them.

Barely 18, Styles was clearly the charming one, the one with the floppy hair. Some of his bandmates refused to even say hello but he was warm and quick with a cheeky quip.

It suddenly made sense to me why a young girl, from deep inside the throng of screaming fans camped outside, had begged me to slip him a handwritten note simply saying, "I love you."

Those early days are a lifetime ago, and what happened next is now the stuff of legend. One Direction went on to redefine the term "boy band" for an entire generation. They made five albums in four years, won more than 200 awards, toured the world four times and were ranked as the second-highest earning celebrities in the world by Forbes in 2016, the year after the wheels famously fell off. Zayn Malik left the band in 2015 and eventually One Direction went on a break, the kind with no obvious end date.

It hasn't hurt Styles' rise to fame in the slightest. No, he is the 1D member it's cool for grown-ups to like. He's the 20-something love child of Mick Jagger, David Bowie and Stevie Nicks, pushing the envelope through perfect good pop songs and that cheeky smile.

He has dated famous women (think Kardashian-adjacent Kendall Jenner, and Taylor Swift famously wrote songs about their short-lived relationship), toured the world alone and buddied up with Anna Wintour to host the Met Gala.

Styles' first solo, self-titled album was released in 2017, he's taken up acting, appearing in Christopher Nolan's World War II epic Dunkirk, and co-written songs for the likes of Michael Buble and Ariana Grande.

The shackles of being part of a commercially savvy behemoth are gone, and now his personality is coming to the fore. Maybe his stint in the cookiecutter pop group proved enough self-censorship to last a lifetime, or maybe it's just what happens when you get older – Styles just turned 26 – but these days, the young man from Cheshire can't be bothered to people please any more. Instead, he's simply living.

"I had a dream day recently – well, it was in summer," he says from a chilly New York City.

"I was with some friends and we took bikes down to this little lake and we went swimming and had some food and listened to music and we were in the countryside, and then we biked back from the lake and had dinner, I read a little and went to bed. The times I'm happiest are when I'm surrounded by friends and people I care about, talking."

It was during his last world tour, his first without his former bandmates, that he decided being happy is what was  most important, not doing what he thought people – fans, record labels, bandmates – expected of him.

"The best way of describing it was just realising people wanted me to be myself and that's what they came to the show for," he says.

"The last album wasn't necessarily a radio record, but they were still coming to the shows and singing along. It showed they wanted me to be making what I wanted to make – and they wanted to come and join in with that, I guess.

"It's probably more important to be real, I guess, than to be making stuff so people like it. Realising that was a big moment for me."

For Styles that liberation has shown itself in many ways, from openly talking about discovering magic mushrooms (he bit off the tip of his tongue during one session), to embracing a type of gender fluidity in the clothes he wears and the fashion choices he makes. Yes, there are Pinterest boards dedicated to every time he has worn nail polish and no, he doesn't like talking about his own sexual identity, previously telling The Guardian: "It's, who cares? Does that make sense? It's just, who cares?"

Would any of that have been a topic of conversation during his One Direction days? Probably not. But through it all, by tabloid  standards, he's remained relatively well-adjusted and scandal-free. Not bad for a kid who, 10 years ago this April, stumbled on to a TV singing show stage aged just 16, and months later was part of the biggest phenomenon to hit pop music in years.

There have been things he has had to learn the hard way, of course, including just how much of himself he really shares with fans. Being a teenager, and suddenly famous, meant there was a time he felt he had to give almost everything – it was simply part of the job.

"When I moved to London and started in music, I was so young, first of all. It wasn't like I knew what was going to happen," he says.

"You are just encouraged to give so much of yourself, and through experiencing different things, I learnt what I liked and what I was comfortable with, and what I didn't like and wasn't comfortable with.

"For me, as things have happened, I go, 'OK, if I give a bit too much of myself away, I don't like it that much.' So, I did it a little bit less and I guess I'm just a lot happier doing it that way.

"And I don't really talk about personal stuff in interviews and stuff, I try and keep that side of my life pretty private. Music, I find it really therapeutic to write that way, it's my outlet for saying how I feel about stuff."

It's a fairly meta experience to have someone you are interviewing tell you, without any aggression or agenda, that they just don't really talk about themselves in interviews, but there it is.

It's not that he's a closed book – he's right, the songs on his latest album, Fine Line, are full of raw emotion about breakups, sex and self-reflection, much more so than other writing he's done. He doesn't want to be that upbeat kid whose job it was to make everyone else comfortable, but equally, he says performing these songs and this side of him will be a special, powerful moment when his Fine Line world tour begins – including a return trip to New Zealand in November.

"I try not to think about the 'putting out' part of the music while I'm making it, and that plays a part in how personal I can get while making it, I guess. I write as if it's for me, and I'm lucky enough to work with a group of people who create an environment where I can be honest and vulnerable when I'm writing.

"And by the time it comes to putting it out, that's when I go, 'Oh, is this too personal?'" he says. "And usually the answer is no, because that's the kind of music I want to make."

[sope-and-shine]

Christmas Special: Day 8

-> Pairing: Taehyung x Reader(ft. Yeontan) -> Neighbor!AU // Kinda childhood friend!AU but not really // Fluffy but kinda sad -> Word Count: 1.8k -> Summary: You just want to paint the snow like always, but your next door neighbor playing in the snow in practically nothing is distracting you. -> Warning(s): Character death - not a major character death// grief 

A/N: Definitely my shortest but most wholesome so far

When you were little, your grandfather would sit you by the back porch window with him when it snowed, and he’d make you both hot chocolate while you would paint the falling snow together. His pieces were always so beautiful, and he never ceased to amaze you with his talents every year that you’d work together. The way his colors worked so well together, how they complimented his style no matter who or what the subject was. He embraced his skills, and always encouraged you to do the same.

Your grandfather made you realize that nothing is more beautiful than falling snow. Nothing is more serene than the light droplets of white that rain down from above in soft flurries. Gentle, delicate, and not one the same as another. Each were genuinely unique, and came together to create such beautiful landscapes. They kept you entranced every time you saw them, and it made winter your favorite season. He made the cold inviting to you, and the way the night would fall so quickly began to draw you in as the years went by.

But as you got older, so did your grandfather. He’d started to have problems getting up and down the front steps, he’d started calling you to ask if you’d known where he’d left something when you were out of the house, and he’d even forgotten to lock the front door on numerous occasions. You and your parents were starting to become worried with everyday that he seemed to be getting worse. Each year that the two of you would paint together, made you worry for what year would be his last.  

Unfortunately, this last spring was it.

They say that April showers bring May flowers, but no flower could fix the heartbreak and the pain you endured from your grandfather’s passing that year. He was someone special, a beautiful soul that can only be found in the rarest of places. The one person who always encouraged your dreams and your beliefs, was suddenly gone like that. It changed you, and suddenly the cold was the only friend you had anymore as the winter months rolled in. They kept you snug in their embrace everyday that you spent by your window, looking to the stars in hopes of the first snowfall. Hoping for the one thing you still shared with your grandfather. 

And as nature would have it; it came.

That’s how you find yourself with the old easel your grandfather bought you on your 8th birthday, right in front of your bedroom window with your paints beside you. Your canvas sits untouched on top of the wood, with you just staring out of the window behind it. You’d been waiting all year for this moment to come around again, but nothing about it felt right to you. The weather was cold, your hot chocolate was piping hot, and the snow was falling softly against the side of your house. It was the perfect view for a painting, but your mind was everywhere but the painting you had wanted.

Would your grandfather have made a joke about your head being in the clouds by now? Of course he would, that’s what he did best. He’d probably scold you for not drinking your hot chocolate while it was still hot, and then he’d take a sip of his own and burn his tongue! Of all the silly things he was known for, his insistence of drinking or eating when they were still hot was his most redeeming quality. 

You missed it the most...more than anything.

A male voice yells from outside your window, “Tannie! Stop jumping on my snowman!”

You pull yourself out of your thoughts to look around the easel, seeing your next door neighbor, Kim Taehyung, with his small Pomeranian Yeontan. He was the last person that you wanted to see at the moment. He’s been your next door neighbor since you could remember, but neither of you have really talked since you were in middle school and he still wore big bulky glasses and tried to catch Pokemon in your backyard. He still tried to catch Pokemon on the occasion, but now he looked like he should be modeling for an agency while doing it. Now, he was one of the most popular juniors in your high school alongside the rest of the Bangtan Boys. 

It wasn’t that he was a jerk or anything, but everywhere you turned there were girls following him and his friends. Art class? Girls. Lunch time? Girls. Bathroom? They shouldn’t be there, but yes, there are girls. He wasn’t safe for your small circle, so you tried your best to stay clear. You’d talk at the occasional block party hosted at the Choi’s house, but it was just regular conversation to get you through the few hours you were stuck there those three days out of the year. There were some parties where the two of you would ditch and just chill together, but that was it.

“Tannie!” He whines again.

You giggle as you watch the small dog run around his owner without a care in the world, just enjoying the falling snow around him. That’s when you finally take notice of what Taehyung is wearing; or lack thereof. He’s wearing what looks to be a pair of jeans with a simple t-shirt and sneakers. No jacket, no hat, no gloves, and not even a scarf. He was just playing in the cold and the snow with no protection at all from the forces.

“Kim Taehyung, I swear…” You mutter to yourself. You shake your head and return to your easel, staring at the blank canvas before you to get back to work. Only the thought of the boy outside keeps you from working as he’s probably freezing from the cold without anything to protect him. The more you try to ignore it, the more you keep looking to your left to see what that boy is doing that’s so important he couldn’t put anything on. It got so annoying that you eventually just gave in. You slip on your snow boots, grab a thick jacket, and two hats from your closet, grabbing another jacket from the hall closet on your way to the front door. On your porch sniffing one of your Christmas decorations is the small puffball that insists on ruining snowmen in their progress. He obviously got tired of being scolded and wandered off while his owner was busy.

“Hey, there Tannie.” You bend down to pull the dog into your arms, earning a small yip and an attempt to lick your face in response. You look at him and without shame start using your baby voice, “Did Taehyungie yell at you too much? Is he just a big meanie?” You continue on and head into the falling snow, getting closer and closer to the unsuspecting boy throwing snow around. You shake your head, “Taehyung!”

He jumps in surprise but quickly breaks into a smile when he sees you with Yeontan in your arms, “Hey (Y/n)! Did you come to enjoy the snow with us?”

“Actually, I came to make sure you didn’t get sick,” You set Tannie down and pull your father’s jacket from under your arm and the extra hat from your coat pocket. You hold them out for him to take, “If you don’t put on at least a jacket, then both Seokjin and Hoseok are going to beat the crap out of you.”

“I’m just playing in the snow.” He argues. Despite his argument, he still accepts your jacket and hat, pulling the pink cap over his own pink locks. He gives you his boxy smile after adjusting the clothes, “Thanks for worrying about me.”

You shrug, “Yeah, well, you were distracting me from painting.”

“You’re still painting?” He asks. His shoulders have dropped, remembering the day he saw the coroner arrive to your home. He remembered the way you tried to follow after them, but your mother kept you in place with her and your father. He felt bad at your loss, especially knowing what it feels like to lose someone that close to you. He noticed your change instantly at school, but with the following he has never got the chance to check in on you. 

That was something he still regrets now.

Seeing your shoulders drop at the mention he tries to quickly defend his words, “I’m so sorry! It’s just-...you’ve been a little different since your grandfather passed.”

You nod, giving him an encouraging smile, “Well, he meant a lot to me.”

“Well, if you ever want to talk or you just need someone to paint with you, I’ll do it.” He offers. He seems genuine, but you know better, “You don’t have to do that Tae.”

“I know, but I know how it feels to lose someone really important to you.” He says. He had lost his grandmother the year before, a similar situation to yours. He had been just as heartbroken as you, maybe more! Either way, he knew how you felt, probably better than anyone else. That’s probably why his smile felt more comforting than others, “Don’t be a stranger okay?”

You nod to him and return to your home, removing your snow gear and returning to your room. By this time, your hot chocolate is definitely cold, and the view from your window still isn’t any better. Taehyung was still out there, but at least he was warm now. His response to why he was out in the snow actually made you think a lot about your grandfather. He was one to go out into the snow without a care in the world too - You can still hear your mother yelling at him to not teach you bad habits. He always told you as you got older that your bond with him was a special one, and that when he couldn’t paint with you anymore that you’d have to find the best replacement. 

He wanted you to find someone that would bring him back to you.

Without even really considering what you’re about to do, you open your bedroom window to the snow. You clear your throat, “Taehyung!” He looks to you from his baby snowman confused. You smile, “Can I take you up on that painting offer?”

His confused look turns into one of his beautiful boxy smiles as he picks up Tannie from beside him. He races towards your first floor window and passes the small dog to you, taking his turn to pull himself up and fall onto your hardwood floor. Just like that, you had another person with you. You had someone willing to paint with you, someone willing to get sick to spend some quality time in the snow, someone who believed hot chocolate should be devoured when it’s steaming hot.

Someone that when he smiled, and told you jokes about his friends being crazy, made you think back to your grandfather every time.

[seaquestions]

fulcrum makes candy

i havent be able to work on any of my fics bcos i’ve been busy (and terribly unmotivated lately) but! i thought i’d post a wip since it reads as mostly finished so far.

(artistic licence for science stuff btw. i’m basically writing what should be chemistry as confectionery lmao.)

It all started when Crankcase told him about meeting up with CONS4EVA again.

Or Symbols, rather. The dimension-hopping Dire Wraith figured that a Cybertronian translation of his name would be a smidge less awkward than using his TBC handle or a mispronounced, synthesized version of his actual name. It sounded about the same to him with the universal translator, so no big deal. Crankcase still tried to say his real name right anyway.

Regardless. The point was--Fulcrum needed to make more energon goodies. The last batch had unfortunately been thrown in Symbols' face when the Dire Wraith was disguised as Thunderwing, so it was imperative to try again. He also ate all the good ones last time, which, note to self: don't do that, Fulcrum.

He almost forgot to ask, actually, if Symbols was even capable of eating the sweets. The answer had been yes, maybe. The Dire Wraith could \consume/ energon, but whether or not it'd taste any good or if it would all end up regurgitated on the floor was a mystery. Still! Fulcrum needed any excuse he could get to make goodies.

The pressure of being around so many Autobots was starting to get to him, a little. His proximity alerts kept popping up, all the time, because none of these people had any sense of personal space. Plus, do you have any idea how many times he had to frantically re-label someone from [enemy] to [ally]? It was a lot! His drop on Clemency might not have killed him, but it certainly didn't do him any good. He had to do all that manually, now. It was stressful, okay?

And Fulcrum liked to stress-bake. When he \could/, anyway. It was certainly better than some of his \other/ coping methods. But there usually wasn't enough energon on the WAP to go around making candy, so it had been saved for the particularly bad nervous breakdowns or for special occasions, like successfully escaping mortal danger or Crankcase going on a date.

Thankfully, the Lost Light seemed to have plenty of fuel for both itself and its passengers, which was beyond nice. Fulcrum had reluctantly gotten used to the whole siphoning and cannibalising thing while living as a Scavenger, but boy was it good to be back to consuming real energon. He might actually be able to make more than just plain gelled energon cubes! But since he didn't \actually/ know if Symbols could enjoy the treats, he'd keep it simple... This time.

The hard part was getting the equipment to make candy in the first place. He didn't know if there was a kitchen area on the Lost Light, but even if there was, he didn't really want to make candy around other people. He knew, from experience, that it was a bad idea. But the anxiety of asking someone for materials left him paralysed, and he almost gave up on the goodies entirely if it wasn't for Krok.

The mech, Primus bless his spark, had gone to ask the command staff in his stead, and surely enough, Krok arrived in Fulcrum's room arms full of everything the K-Con needed and more, in both equipment and ingredients.

"The captain got real excited when he heard that someone was thinking of making sweets," he said, with smiling optics, "A lot of these weren't even on your list."

And so, Fulcrum got started.

Cooking might seem a little daunting for the average Cybertronian. Energon had a reputation of being volatile, to an almost comical level. Heat it up a bit too much, and it just might explode. Every element had their own distinct flavour that changed wildly based on their interactions with other substances, and it was impossible to memorise them all! Or so it seemed. But in reality, it wasn't so difficult. At least to him it wasn't.

For a mech with absolutely no background in chemistry or metallurgy, Fulcrum took to the culinary arts very well. While he might not fully understand the hows and the whys of chemical reactions, he definitely knew what was delicious and what wasn't.

The first step was making the flavouring. Energon itself, in its processed liquid form, was virtually tasteless, so this was important. Adding simple ingredients like copper shavings, which had a tangy, sour taste to it and chromium flakes, which was just plain sweet, was the most basic form of food preparation.

Just dumping metal into energon felt a bit amateurish to Fulcrum, though. He wanted the goodies to have a consistent look and taste to them, like they were professionally made.

So, the little metal flakes--he went with copper, cobalt (tart, with a subtle sweetness), iron (bittersweet and kinda savoury) and cadmium (mildly sweet and rich, his personal favourite)--were finely ground into a powder alongside pigments to add variety to the colour palette. He didn't want everything to be bright neon pink. One had to differentiate between the flavours somehow. Plus, the pigments themselves could also add to the taste, depending on what you chose. Unless you bought those tasteless food dyes, but those are for cowards, and in the kitchen, Fulcrum was not one.

Cadmium sulfide, for example, worked as a yellow dye, but gave the energon a certain acidic sharpness that wasn't there before, thanks to the sulfur. Cadmium \selenide/, on the other hand, was a deep red pigment that went beyond sharp and turned it into full-blown spicy. But Fulcrum was supposed to be making sweet treats here. So instead, he paired the cadmium shavings with chrome yellow, or lead chromate, to enhance the sweetness of the pure cadmium.

The cobalt and iron powders were simple, matched with cobalt aluminate (blue) and iron oxide (red). Classic choices, though he had to be careful with the latter, because it could very easily start tasting like actual rust, which was simply disgusting. He \could/ use the mercury-based vermillion instead, which was also savoury, but again, Fulcrum was not a coward. In candy-making, anyway.

The last one, however, he always had to have a whole internal debate over. Copper-based pigments tended towards greens and blues, but that wasn't really what people thought of, now was it? He could use gold ochre, but the iron-based pigment didn't really mesh well with copper, in \his/ opinion. He could mix a cadmium orange, but, again, he didn't want his candy to be spicy.

In the end, he just went with the basic green copper carbonate.

Alright! With that done, it was time to work on the energon itself.

In a large pot, Fulcrum gently heated the liquid fuel up, slowly pouring in a gelling agent that he had warmed up earlier. Under normal circumstances, regular processed energon did not solidify. To do so, you'd have to freeze it or leave it out for \way/ too long, letting it congeal, which was gross. (Looking at you, Misfire.) The gelling agent would let the fuel cool into a nice firm slab of jelly.

He then added one and a half cups of crushed lead acetate, stirring constantly to dissolve the sweetener in the energon until no particles were left in the semi-opaque pink liquid. It had also gotten lighter, light enough that the dyes wouldn't end up mixing into really ugly colours.

When the mixture started to bubble the tiniest little bit, Fulcrum took the pot off the heat, pouring the fuel into four bowls, one for each flavour, that he then mixed with the corresponding pigment. Red iron, blue cobalt, green copper and yellow cadmium.

The jelly would need a flat plane to cool on, of course. When Fulcrum went to grab a tray though, he noticed that he'd also been provided with plastic molds. Someone else must've been into cooking, then. He wondered who it could be, maybe they could share tips or something.

The molds were pretty basic shapes, like stars and circles, but it was nice of them to have given him this, whoever it was. He should use them then. If he poured the blue cobalt into the circle ones, it could look like little sparks... which was a really cute idea.

...He did it. Of course he did.

Blue sparks, yellow stars, red cyberkittens and green raindrops. It was almost unbearably adorable.

The leftover fuel was poured onto the same tray, creating some neat rainbow gradients. They were pretty to look at but to be honest, he had no idea how those parts would taste. Welp! Who cares!

Fulcrum stretched.

That was the hard part done. He put all of the filled up casts inside his room's mini-fridge. A few hours and they'll be solid. At that point, he'd have to take them out of the molds and cut the leftover ones into little cubes. Then after \that/, he'd have to leave them out to dry overnight so the goodies could form their crisp exterior, while also exercising enough self-restraint to not surreptitiously pop one into his mouth.

Oof. Forget what he said, the hard part hasn't been done yet, actually.

Still. This meant that he had time to take a break.

[foxxygold-blog]

Rimuru Tempest: No Longer Alone

So sorry for not posting any new fanfictions, I got sick, pulled into some family drama, a family member passed away, and work has been kicking my butt. But, everything is okay now, and I hope you all really like this one. 

If you want to support me and my work, please donate to my ko-fi! If you would like a commission, go to my profile and find my commissions post for all my rules and regulations, thank you!

Starring up at the trees above from beneath the deep water, you waited and listened. What was there to do when you were stuck, constantly swimming in a never-ending circle all alone at the bottom of your dark home? Being an Ashray wasn’t very much fun, not when your family and relatives had left you long ago. The dark sky was beautiful, and you could see the shining stars just barely through the tree leaves casting a shadowy abyss over your pool of water. You wondered, who among your family was alive and how many had become puddles in the sunlight. As your eyes continued to scan the stars in silence, you flapped your translucent wings and descended to the bottom of the water, quietly resting against the lake floor and closing your eyes. Daybreak would be soon, and that meant it would be time to sleep. But with nothing better to do, going to bed early seemed to be the best way to make time pass.

It wasn’t normal for an Ashray to wake during the day, or be awake at all during the sunlight shined. All the fish at night cowered away from you, hiding in multiple little holes within the floor and the side of your lake home. This also made it hard for you to eat when you got hungry so starving had to be another one of your favorite pass times. Yet, loud noises from many beings seemed to echo from above the water of your home, someone probably about to intrude upon your dwelling. You cracked open your eyes slowly, fish swimming around happily in peacefully, in plenty of bunches. Dark green figures seemed to kneel close to the edge. Their conversation was muffled due to the distance, but it didn’t sound like they’d be jumping into your waters soon. With a slight huff, you close your eyes once more and went back to sleep. On the surface, the ruler of the Tempest Alliance was standing away from the edge of the new-found lake they could use for fresh water and food resources. However, despite Gobta getting close and sticking his hands into the cool water, there was a power here he could sense. It felt like it could be strong if it was in a pack, but the power belongs to a single being, and almost felt lonely. As the blue-haired man stepped forward, he looked down into the water and quietly scanned it, none of his skills working in finding out where the current power was coming from. “I remember this area, this lake used to be guarded by many Ashrays, but it seems they’ve all disappeared. Whether they’ve left of their own accord or were killed, this lake looks safe enough for us to use now,” Benimaru spoke. Rimuru quietly turned to the Great Sage in his mind, questioning what Ashray’s were without having to embarrass himself in front of his own comrades. “This area used to be home to a large pack of Ashrays, which can often be mistaken for sea ghosts. They are completely translucent and nocturnal. If exposed to sunlight, they melt and become a puddle of water.” Rimuru nodded his head in understanding. Though invisible for now, the single power he felt must have been a leftover Ashray. With a smile, Rimuru turned back to his companions and nodded his head happily. “All right everyone, we’ll be setting up camp here for the night, we’ll fish and eat happily,” Rimuru exclaimed with a raise of his fist, everyone else cheering in happiness alongside him. Everyone set up tents as friendly chatter filled the air. Rimuru quietly stared down at the lake before walking away, deciding on helping with raising tents. As they raised the tents and a few creatures rested, the night rolled its way across the sky and small lamps and they created fires to see within the dark. Rimuru watched happily as Gobta and many others of his people ran and jumped into the water, enjoying the cool water on the hot night air. Sighing gently, Rimuru leaned back against a tree with his Kijin sitting peacefully beside him. “Hey Benimaru,” Rimuru spoke, trying to catch the attention of his subordinate. “Yes, Lord Rimuru?” “You said Ashray’s used to live here yet you couldn’t feel here anymore. Would there be a reason for a pack to leave one behind?” Benimaru quietly pondered of his King’s words, thinking and tracing back to all the information he knew about the creatures before giving a gentle shake of his head and facing Rimuru. “Ashrays hardly ever separate from their pack, much less a single person. If there was one left behind, it was by accident or on purpose. Either all the Ashray’s that once belong to this lake got named and walked off, forgetting someone, or they voluntarily didn’t want a name and stayed. Why they would do something like that is beyond me,” Benimaru shrugged before facing the lake and watching his comrades play. The slime in human form nodded his head in understanding, watching his friends swim around happily and splash water at one another. His eyes seemed to zero in on Gobta as he was suddenly yanked under water, causing Rimuru too suddenly stand from his position. “I think they left one of them behind,” Rimuru muttered. He shed most of his clothes quickly, keeping his pants and shirt, and his sword as he rushed over to the lake with a small smile, he jumped up high before falling into the lake, others quickly getting out of the water to grab their weapons. As Rimuru fell into the water he quietly stared at your form, holding Gobta wrapped up in your tail that seemed to hold a dark purple glow too it, the Great Sage speaking up in his head once more. “This Ashray’s barbed tail can scratch enemies and inflict them with poison.” Rimuru gave a small smile before pulling his sword, easily dashing and shooting himself down out through the water, grabbing Gobta carefully and avoiding a scratch from the tail. Both of you raced through the water, Rimuru quickly shooting out of the water and into the air, quickly mimicking wings to stay above the water, only for you to come to a quick halt, your form visible to all of those around the lake, your body almost the entire size of the entrance. Rimuru smiled gently and turned his head in a questioning way. “If you’re willing to calm down and talk we’ll listen to what you have to say, but starting a fight with someone like me is not a wise idea,” Rimurur called. He returned Gobta to the floor beside the lake and easily jumped back into the water, descending to the height of the Ashray before him and smiled gently. “So you’re an Ashray, and from what I’ve been told you live in packs. You should know better than to pick a fight with someone like me,” Rimuru smiled. You stared at his friendly smile and you didn’t feel any aggression from him. You calmed down, flapping your gentle wings gently in the water to stay in place. “I don’t know who you are,” you spoke. Rimuru’s eyes widened in surprise before pouting. “I’m Rimuru Tempest!” “Oh, the one the Words of the World told had formed a new nation, I’ve never seen you before, or really heard of you.” Rimuru seemed to cross his legs in the water, carefully sitting in place in front of you beneath the surface of the water, all of his friends staring down at him and yelling for him to come out. The blue-haired boy seemed annoyed, and you held your small wing out too him. “I can take you deeper, and talk with you in peace if you’d like,” you mumbled. Rimuru smiled gently and nodded his head. Listening to you speak, he could hear the sorrow and the sadness, and the slight hope of finally finding a new friend. He questioned, have you been here alone for a long time? As he quickly held onto the back of your form, you dove deeper, the light slowly dimming as you both reached the bottom. Rimuru stepped off and sat down on the floor, the noises of his patrons now a distance whisper up above. “My family left a long time ago… I stopped counting the days and wishing for their return, I knew all of my family and friends had become puddles in this world by now. Someone came by and gave a few of my pack names, granting them actual bodies to move around outside our body of water. They promised to come home, and they never did. The same man came back and granted more of us names, and more of us names. Everyone said to stay behind, watch the lake, protect it from people trying to destroy our home but now, now I’m the only one left,” you cried gently. You large body flattened against the lake floor in silence. Rimuru could sense the pain you were feeling, the loneliness, the abandonment. To be left behind, waiting, only for no one to ever return back home. Rimuru stretched his hand out and pet you softly with a small frown. “I’m sorry to hear they have abandoned you. I know you have a strong connection to this lake, but it appears to be a dark cage. How about I make a deal with you, and you’re free to reject this as you’ve done before,” Rimuru laughed gently. You picked up your head and looked at him quietly. “I’ll give you a name, and you can join me and my nation. You can come back and check and see if any of your family finally came back as many times as you like. In return, we only wish to fish here and use fresh water. I will bring no harm upon your family once they have returned here, in return you won’t be trapped here waiting alone anymore. You will have a second home and family to lean on,” he spoke. Holding his hand out gently to you, the sudden welcome-ness of his arms and thought of being able to escape and maybe even travel to find the rest of your family was exciting and overwhelming. With a quick shake of your body, you agreed, and he smiled brightly back at you. “Come, then.” Rimuru stood from the bottom of the ocean and shot up quickly, pulling himself out of the water and sitting on the grass, laying down on it with a sigh. He was quick to sit up and look down at your form, only inches from the top of the water. He placed his hand on his chin and thought quietly. He couldn’t just give one person a boring name like Fiela – 45H like he had done with the orc tribe after the Orc Lord had been defeated. As he thought and mulled names over, one finally stuck out as he looked at your form, reaching his hands back into the water to carefully pet your head. “Your name will be _____,” Rimuru smiled. His smile seemed to falter, giving a weak chuckle as he suddenly fell forward into the water with a splash, easily blacking out.

[bonesthebeloved]

Of sunsets and Evening gowns - a Good Omens fanfic

@punk-aziraphale I thought you might like this???

count: 5772

Summary: A brief history of a fallen angel, his soulmate, his struggle with gender and a ineffable happy ending

TRIGGER/SQUIK WARNING: Period typical trans/homophobia, crying, emotional distress, discription of pain (the fall), mention of food (if I forgot any, feel free to point them out to me)

Story:

He'd always rather enjoyed sunsets.

One of the almighty her better inventions; colours bleeding through the sky and shadows stretched long and dark, the red and orange and deep purple hitting the objects in the light's way to the earth underneath his feet, wrapping them in the soft glow of the last hours of the day.

Now that he thought of it, he wasn't quite sure if God herself had created the colourful wave of goodbye the sun gave the earth every time it turned.

It must've been another angel, She had never been one for details like these.

And maybe it was well known who had created it!

Dawn and Dusk, morning and evening.

Yes, maybe it was. Though he wouldn't know either way.

He'd never really had contact with the others, too far off in the galaxy creating stars and nebulas to be around them much and always getting ushers away from them when he got too close.

'I want to see what they are making,' he had said. Well, not really. Back then they didn't really have a voice. Or something that could be considered a body, for that matter.

'Don't dwell on them, brother,' had been his answer. 'They are lesser, as we are the ones that give shape to the divine plan.'

Back then, when everything had still been peaceful and emotions and actions were being named left and right, he had agreed with his brother. Simply because, in the short time that the emotion had existed, he had felt nothing but annoyance for Gabriel.

A few years went by (after someone had gone through the trouble of naming them just that) before he returned to earth, his newest creations merely small white dots in the endless dark of the night sky as he sat on what would soon be called the wall of Eden, the feet of his now human-shaped form, dangling over the edge of it as he looked out over the garden;

The trees and flowers and water and dirt still untouched by any living creature except for the angel that brought them into existence.

"Brother, what are you doing here? Gabriel has been asking for you."

The term brother didn't feel as if it were fitting for his relationship with the other archangels. Not really.

Though a different term for what they would then be hadn't been invented yet and he didn't bother doing it himself.

"Hello, Lucifer. Sorry for worrying you. Was just curious 'bout what the other angels have been so busy creating down here. Seems like it's quite a lot."

"That it does, Raphael."

"You ever wonder what this is all supposed to be for? Her, creating all of this just to test the humans I mean?"

Lucifer sat down next to him now, a reserved expression on his face, both of their wings brushing the stone beneath them where they were stretched comfortably behind them. There was no reason to hide their wings. Not yet anyway.

"Every day I wonder brother. You're not alone in your doubts. I overheard her saying terrible things: Talk of death and disease. Of war and hunger. I wonder why she would subject any creature of her own making to such cruelty. Wonder if the souls that will be lost due to her testing would mean anything to Her. And, if they do not, if ours don't do so either."

Lucifer had always had a way with words. Good at getting what he wanted when he wanted it by carefully selecting them and twisting them into complex puzzles which one would only figure out when listening to them a couple of times.

Raphael nodded in agreement before actually realising he was doing so.

But there were more important things about this that he should have realised.

Like how Lucifer was more manipulative than he was simply pushy. That he had him wrapped around his finger and, that with that simple nod, he had signed for his own execution.

***

He liked to tell others that he didn't really fall. That it hadn't hurt him as much as it had the others and that he went on his accords; only because he wanted to go and not so much because God had cast him out.

But when one hits the ground so harshly, any fragile human would have died on impact, his wings burning and burning and his sight gone, body heat dropping rapidly, there is not much else one could do except scream in pure agony.

After what felt like double the time he had been alive for until then -which had been quite a while- he regained his vision again, now able to see significantly better in the dark and make out his wings, black as night and every movement hurting him so severely he was certain he had burns all over the muscles and fat underneath the burned mass of feathers.

It wasn't crowded, not yet anyhow.

Lucifer and he had fallen first.

'To show the others that She will have no mercy,' his brother had said. The darkness around them so dark that it hid what he had become or currently was becoming.

Once more angels fell, he asked his brother what they'd do now. Though before he could even get past the last vowel of his name he heard Lucifer hiss at him as if the mere mention of his name had hurt him.

'We can't keep our old names brother. They are God-given and will, therefore, do us harm. Demons aren't made to have anything angelic.'

The word 'demon' had never been used before that exact moment. Though as it rolled off of his brother's tongue, Raphael knew that that was exactly what they were...

***

He got the job just four days after falling.

Lucifer, who now called himself Satan and who Raphael no longer saw as anything close to a brother (or an ally and trustworthy person for that matter) telling him to 'cause some trouble' as that was what they were now meant to be doing.

He was happy to leave; Hell (which is what they had called their new home) had gotten awfully crowded and, as the boundaries had disappeared with angels falling from the sky, way too touchy for his liking. He'd refused a position of power after being offered one. Had refused to rule alongside Satan or do anything that would elevate his status in any way. So Satan, seeing no other use for him, had given him a mission and it was so that he made his way to earth for the very first time since the fall.

He searched out a reflective surface -in this case, a large body of water he would later learn was called a lake- as soon as he arrived, finally able to see what he looked like and if he had changed anywhere near as severely as Lucifer had done.

He hadn't, it turned out. His skin was not red and burned like his brother's was and in almost every way he looked the same as he had done before the fall. Maybe dishevelled and wearing black, ash stained clothing instead of the pure and clinical white he'd worn before, though the same none the less,

That is, nearly everything.

He stared at his reflection. Yellow, reptile-like eyes staring back at him, unblinking. The slits thin and fearful looking. The yellow having driven away every bit of white in his eyes.

He hadn't found it so bad at first. Had almost found them charming in the way they reminded him of his creations, the only animal-like creatures he had created that slithered through the trees and winded their elegant bodies around the branches, scales shimmering in the sunlight.

After hearing about how there was only one rule he could have the newly made humans break to satisfy Lucifer's urging on to make them break as many as possible, it only seemed logical to turn into one of his serpent friends and tempt the curious Eve to eat an apple.

***

The angel was strange.

For starters, he knew that they were supposed to be enemies. That the divine had urged them all on to smite every demon within smithing range.

What he also knew though, was that Aziraphale would not be doing any smithing and that hiding from the rain under an angel's wing was comfortable and way more so than he had deemed appropriate for all of his four days in Hell.

Another thing he did know was that, as soon as the name Crawley had left his lips, rolling off his tongue while they watched the humans set their first steps outside of the garden, was that he didn't like it. It almost sounded like an insult to him and to the lovely creatures Eve was so kind as to give the name 'snakes' to.

Of course, he wouldn't ask Aziraphael what his name was before a good hundred years had passed. That he technically didn't have to ask as he had somehow known it before he had even crawled up on the wall of Eden was beside the point.

***

The relationship they formed over the decennia, over thousands of years, was something that transcended human description.

Some might call them lovers when seeing them walk alongside each other in the park or dine at yet another small establishment Crowley had found for them. Maybe it was the way Aziraphale always called him dear in that soft, endearing ton of his or maybe it was because Crowley had called Aziraphale angel so many times it had led to the humans making it a pet name of their own after one of them overheard him saying it.

Others would call them friends. With the way, they always were there for each other and could talk for hours and hours with a good bottle of wine. Discussions going on deep into the night about the memories they had made.

The ones who called them soulmates would probably be the ones closest to an even vaguely accurate explanation.

The way they felt lost when the other was gone. How they seemed to know every quirk and every thought and the thought process behind it so well it seemed to others as if they had invented telepathy.

And yet, Aziraphale always seemed just out of reach.

When Crowley asked for them to go to a restaurant the first time, he got shot down with a dismissive wave and an awkward laugh,

When he asked again about three-hundred years later, he got a soft 'You go to fast for me Crowley' in return and proceded to wrack his brain over that sentence. He had goten drunk and sobered up and got drunk again and had talked to his plants while they shook in fear, their owner rambling on about those seven words. Speculating if it was only ment to be about the speed at which he drove and if it wasn't, what the angel had ment by it otherwise.

It had taken him hours and several bottles of various types of alcohol to come to the conclusion that, if it meant something other than him using the entirety of his bentley's speedometer, that he would just wait and see how their relationship progressed.

***

Crowley and Aziraphale, just like all angels and demons, were both technically genderless.

Both of them had corperations which would be considered male though. And because they also tended to dress in mostly masculine ways (Crowely had once told the angel that the only reason for that was that most mens clothing was way more comfortable) and they had both chosen a male presenting bodies, they were spoken to as such and neither of them really minded.

But Crowley had always loved mixing it together.

'Womans' pants and skirt he liked he would buy without even thinking about the ridiculous gendering of things.

His 'experiments' had gotten less risky over the milenia as humans started to develop genderrolls and he was burned at the stake for wearing a lovely lightgrey and black dress in 1652. Aziraphale was still convinced that the burning had taken place because of the fire that had been floating just above Crowley's palm which he was using to heat up his tea with. But he could also admit that the wonderfully crafted dress probably hadn't helped his case.

The very first time (which also turned out to be the last time for quite a while) that Aziraphale had actually been there to witness Crowley's bolder fashin choices (the demon would laugh in your face for calling a certain piece of fabric a 'bold choice')  had been in the 80's.

A riot in Germany surrounding the wall that seperated the country in two had driven them both away and so they found themselves fleeing from their respective places to go to the safehouse they had created for the two of them somewhere in the late 20's.

England, which is were the lovely little cottage was located, was completely safe at the time, so, after greeting eachother with a handshake and a smile (Crowley had to restrain herself from giving the angel a hug.)  they decided on going to one of their newest discoveries: A small restaurant in an alleyway lit with fairy lights where they sold the most wonderful creme brulé.

Aziraphale was already waiting for the demon when she finally came out of her room, hands twisting nervously in the material of the slightly flowy skirt. The fabric looked like some very light cotton, the jet black thing having a high waistband that made the dark grey button-up she had tucked into it poof up a little.

With her currently delightfully long and partly braided hair completing the look Aziraphale had a hard time keeping his hands to himself as Crowley gave him an anxious smile, eyes flickering from Aziraphale to the floor, to the wall and back to Aziraphale again.

"You look wonderful my dear. Come on now, dinner awaits."

The angel knew, of course, that this was the first time Crowley wore anything considered too feminine for a mostly male presenting person to wear since that dicorperation about 360 years ago.

What Aziraphale also knew though, was that his companion looked positively deligtful and so very fragile in the way she kept adjusting the skirt. He would try to make sure the fragilness would be replaced with confidence even if it was the last thing he did.

So he stuck out his arm, offering it to the demon with a small smile. It quickly turning into a wide grin as Crowley reluctantly took it and smiled back at him as he opened the door for the both of them.

"Shall we then, my dear?"

***

Humans could be cruel.

He had realised this many times in the past and would realise it again on many occasion in the future.

That didn't mean that he was prepared in the slightest for what waited for his partner outside of the bookshop.

Slur after slur was thrown her way. Their way, in some occasions of people taking note of their linked arms. Pebbles and food was thrown at Crowley (all of it miraculously missing her of course) and glare after glare, whisper after wisper he saw the small smile slide of off her lips,

Hadn't it been for Aziraphale letting go off the simple spell that kept his ethernal form hidden and showing some rather rude gentelmen his true form, Crowley would have actually been assaulted. (That she could very well defend herself or, if need be, simply transform into a snake and slither away from them, did not occur to him.)

They returned to the bookshop before less than an hour had passed between that moment and them first exiting it. 

They hadn't gone to the restaurant and Aziraphale now had a firm arm around Crowley who was strangely quiet, even her slightly too fast intakes of breath being nearly unnoticable.

"My dear, are you alri-" "It'sssss fine angel. I'm doing sssssuper."

Crowley seemed to get slightly mad after the last part, Harshly ripping the skirt off and miracled herself into a large black hoodie and some jeans. She pulled her legs up and curled up on the couch rather then taking on her usual position of laying sprawled out over it in the most obnoxious way possible, hair now up in a messy bun that made the angel itch to undo it and run his hands through her hair.

Aziraphale watched her, a sad smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he nodded and silently went to make his demon some tea.

He had just poured the water into the cups as he felt something nudging his left pants leg, looking down just in time to see the end of a scaled black tail before the head of a rather large snake peeked over the counter to look at him. The snake reluctantly slithering towards the angel's outstretched hand after a while.

"Oh! Hello there beauty" Aziraphale's voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke to the snake, carefully petting her head before letting her wind herself around his arm and drape over his shoulders comfortably, size seeming to be significantly smaller as she had been a second ago.

Aziraphale simply smiled and ran a hand over the smooth scales before picking up the two mugs and carrying them (and the serpent) towards his rarely used bedroom rather than towards the couch they had previously been sitting on.

The snake (or rather, Crowley as a snake, let's not beat around the bush here) hissed quietly in a manner that the angel identified as one of unease, resulting in Aziraphale quietly explaining that she needed some rest.

And thus the cups were set down, Aziraphale miracled himself into some rather comfy pyjamas (He still prefered to sleep nude, though he didn't think Crowley would apprechiate that very much at that particular moment) and the demon lay rolled up comfortably in the angels arms, yellow eyes with dialated pupils lazily looking up at him before blinking shut.

The angel laid them both down carefully, shifting the serpent in his arms to make sure they were both comfortable. He was sure that Crowley had fallen asleep by the time he whispered a soft 'you looked wonderful in that skirt my dear.' And then, ten minutes later, he finally felt able to say the rest: "I hope you know that I love you, no matter what form, body or clothing, I always will."

After ten long seconds of silence, Aziraphale already accepting that he wouldn't get a reply and have made peace with the fact that it simply was a conversation for another time, felt Crowley slowly shift back into her human form and, once she was fully changed, wrap her arms around the angel.

He didn't get a verbal reply back then. Didn't get one for a long time after that either. But angels weren't anything if not patient. And it was alright.

He could live with it. He hadn't been pushed away or told of after all.

***

Crowley, for all the years he had loved Aziraphale in a way that couldn't just be explained with a simple 'I love you' was utterly useless when it came to telling the other that the feeling of love wat mutual. Nothing really changed after that evening after all. Thought Crowley didn't wear skirts again up until it being his desguise in their plan to prevent Armagedon.

He didn't say anything about the confession Aziraphale had made up until Armaged-oh-never-mind and a bit after that.

He didn't say anything until four months after said even had not taken place and he and the angel had decided that today was an excelent day to visit Anathema. The Them had just left, Adam giving them both a wide and highly un-Antichrist-like grin as Pepper rambled on about how they ought to make mudpies this time instead of the horendous stone and sand filled cake they'd made last time Wensleydale wanted to play bakery.

Anathema had told the two celestial beings to go sit in the back room and make themselves comfortable while she and Newt prepared dinner and so they sat, watching the raindrops on the windows when Aziraphale started the conversation.

"Do you remember what it was like? Heaven, I mean. I've heard of demons forgetting everything before the fall and we've never talked about it before but I fell as if... You talk about certain things, like the stars and the galaxy as if you watched them be created and I- Oh dear is this a bad subject?"

Crowley knew the last part had been added because of how pale he had gotten. How still he was sitting. 

Crowley also knew that, how much easier it would be to lie put aside, he would never do that to Aziraphale.

So he secured himself. Mentally hiding away in his little bomb shelter and hoping for the best.

"Yeah, most of them forgot. Memory wiped. Clean slate and all that. I... remember though. Not everything of course, and it took me a he- heav- an awfully long time to recover them.

I remember... I remember the fall. How it felt. The creations we all put into the world..."

Aziraphale, though he'd pulled away, backpaddled as soon as he realised this topic was making his partner highly uncomfortable, latched onto the new conversation topic like a predator to its prey.

"What was your favourite creation then?"

Crowley thought for a moment, Snakes had been It by a long shot had you asked him 6000 years ago. But times change, and so do celestial beings. And his hatred for the snake eyes that had always made him not able to fit in just right ran deep.

"I quite enjoy the Nebula's I helped create. Alpha Centaury still has that little something that just pulls me towards it. Two stars always circling until they will eventually collide and become one, go down together."

"Wasn't Alpha Centaury-" "The one I asked you to run away to? Yeah. A bit selfish of me to pick my own I know."

Aziraphale stayed very quiet as Crowley watched how the raindrops ran down the glass. Grey clouds obscuring the sunset that should be happening right about now and putting a slight damper on the contentness he felt.

"...Did- Didn't the archangels create all the stars, my dear boy?"

Ah, that's what he had been forgetting then. He looked at Aziraphale out of the corner of his reptilian eye, seeing how the angel was watching him closely.

"Crowley?"  he turned his head now, meeting his partners gaze head-on at that specific moment felt nearly as difficult as it had been to walk on the holiest of grounds in the body that wasn't his to undergo an execution which he knew would fail. Nearly.

"Crowley were you- and don't lie to me, my dear. We're you-"

He must've said it. Crowley was sure of it. But he hadn't heard it.

The word forbidden, burning him like a red hot iron rod would have done. And Aziraphale must've noticed him hissing. Watched him crumble and catch his breath as if he'd just been punched.

"Crowley?"

"Yeah. Fine- I'm fine. I jussst-whatss the he-heav-ssssomthing! What was that? "

"I don't know. Are you alright?" and then, once he was sure Crowley was not harmed in any way: "And I know I'm pushy my dear but this is important. Are y-" Crowley silenced him with a hiss and a warning finger. Eyes wide and panicked.

"Don't- don't say that. The name. I- It hurts me."

"So... So you are-"

"Yeah. I guess I- I don't know angel. Whatever you said, whatever name must be correct as otherwise, it wouldn't have-... Yeah. The name is the only thing I could never remember."

Aziraphale kept silent, simply looking at him with a strange sort of sadness in his eyes. Maybe a bit of betrayal.

" I'm sorry I never told you, angel. I was just... Scared, I guess. "

The other nodded, still sitting very still and watching him. Behind them, thunder rumbled as the sky darkened.

"W-what was your favourite? Creation I mean."

The angel gave him a sad smile at the change of topic and reached out, wanting to pat his hand, though decided against it and laid his own on the armrest instead.

"I always quite liked the pufferfish I made. Funny creatures, those things.

Though sunsets are my favourite I believe. The pretty colours making up the golden hour, quite proud of those."

Crowley, who had been fidgeting with one of his jacket pockets, looked up sharply, staring at the angel for a hot second before blurting out 'you made the sunset?' immediately followed by a quick 'sorry' as he realised how blunt that sounded.

Though Aziraphale only looked happily surprised at the reaction, glad he could lend the other a distraction.

"I did. Always found it too boring so I threw some colours in. I'm not sure Emanuel was happy with me playing around with his morning and evening concept but it made the humans smile once they saw it so I think it was worth it."

"Sunsets have always been my favourite thing about the earth," Crowley said without really being able to stop himself.

"I've always wondered who would think of such a thing. Looking back I suppose it should be obvious that you would be that angel. You've always been the only creative one out of all the bastards up there."

They both laughed at that, light and unbothered as the raindrops raced each other down the glass.

" I meant what I said in the 80s you know. "

The topic change came sudden and made Crowley forget that his human body needed air for a few moments.

It was said with such intense casualty. The meaning carefully woven through the words and tone one that would be normal if this had been said mere hours, or perhaps days, after that confession. Not nearly forty years.

"About me loving you no matter what, I mean. We do need to talk about you being... Them. Someday, that is. But not now if you don't want to. And I do get it if you don't want to be associated with me like that. But I wanted you to know so you-" "Angel"

Aziraphale looked at him, cutting his nervous ramble short, eyes round, blown wide as he let Crowley take his hand.

There were so many ways he had told the angel that he cared about him deeply without having said 'I love you'.

He didn't think it was needed. That there were better ways of showing it. Like dinners and offers for a lift home. Like picking up a signed copy of a book that the angel just happened to be looking for for the last few months and like an offer to stay at his flat while the both of them sat on a bench in a small village.

And perhaps, for him there were. But Aziraphale needed the confirmation. Needed those words so he would stop doubting what they had was special.

"Aziraphale..."

He said again, a small smile tugging at his lips."I love you to angel."

Said celestial seemed to suddenly relax as if all of the air had been let out of him. Like a deflating balloon, as his face lit up with a smile so bright Crowley felt the need to reach for his shades that sat on the table beside them.

"Oh thank the lord-" (Crowley whispered a quick 'she had nothing to do with it' under his breath at that) "-Then I won't have to return this." And with one fluid movement, he pulled out a little velvet black box.

"Zira... Is that-" "A wedding ring yes you're correct." "And you want to-... With me?"

Aziraphale smile got possibly even brighter as he nodded enthusiastically. "As if I would ever give it to anybody else. I thought, as we are already bound to each other for life and both care about each other very much, why not get married!"

"You-I- we can't- demon?"

"Crowley, if you're about to say that we can't because of our respective sides, let me remind you of a certain conversation we've had about us being on our own side."

"No, Zira I didn't--well, I did but that's not what I wanted to say."

What Crowley actually had wanted to say, would have been something along the lines of 'I've been dropping hint for 6000 FUCKING YEARS angel but to straight-up ask me to marry you might be moving a bit to fast even for me.' or perhaps 'Of course I'll say yes angel don't give and never have given two shits about what above or down under think now please show me the ring or I might cry.'

Though what actually came out of the demon's mouth, was sputtering and a slightly chocked up sound, Aziraphale merely waiting for his response to get somewhat closer to becoming words, the little black ring box still closed in his slightly outstretched hand.

"Can I... Can I see it? The ring I mean."

"Oh, of course, my dear. Though I must warn you, it's a bit cheesy. If you truly don't like it we can always go get ourselves some new ones."

When Crowley opened the little box, a high pitched noise came out of his throat, the only thing he could manage was to simply stare down at the ring.

Two light gold angel wings, tips and basses touching to form a perfectly round circle Crowley was sure to fit like a glove once he put it on. The represented his angel, of course.

"Aziraphale, I-" "It's alright if you don't like it. That's not what it's about after all but-" "No angel, I love it. It's beautiful but I-well I've had this for so long and I didn't know you would-... Well, beat me to the punch I suppose."

At that he reached into his inner pocket to pull out a pure white box, the thing having sat in the pocket for such a long time that the angel has stopped noticing that there was something there.

The demon opened the box, revealing a simple silver band, a small and incredibly detailed black snake wrapping around it two times.

" Crowley is that-" "An engagement ring? Yes. I should've asked sooner, or at least told you but... Well, I'm not the best at expressing any sorts of love."

"Well then, we better get on with it then, right?"  the angel said, giving Crowley a nervous smile before getting down on one knee.

Both of them were too wrapped up at the moment to notice Anathema standing by the door, leaning against the doorframe as she watched the scene unfold.

" Anthony J. Crowley." Aziraphale started, watching as the fond little smile on the demons faces morphed into a full-on, gleeful grin. "I've known you since the very beginning, we've gone through literally everything together and while no human word would be able to accurately describe what we are to each other, I've found that the word soulmate to be a term I've grown quite fond of when referring to you in my head. We've known each other since the very beginning and will continue to know each other till the very end. This human formality is not necessary in any way. But 'my husband' or 'my wife' has always had a nice ring to it for me and I'm certain it would feel like just another type of connection we'd share.

So Crowley. Anthony J- demon- Crowley, will you marry me?"

Crowley's world seemed to be nearly as frozen as it had been when he had actually stopped time.

He was aware of his heart thumping very fast, almost obnoxiously so, seeing as it technically had no purpose whatsoever. He was aware of the sound of the drops hitting the cemented tiles on Anathema her terras and was fully and wholeheartedly aware that neither of those things should be holding his attention right now.

"I-yeah. Yes of course angel."

Aziraphale. Even as Crowley didn't dem it possible, smiled even brighter as he had before, a bit of his angelic grace momentarily slipping through, the faint outlines of wings shimmering in the air behind his back.

He hugged Crowley then, soft curls tickeling his counterparts neck as his face lay buried in his neck.

Now, it's important that you are aware of a certain quirk that our angel has. Aziraphale, when extremely happy or content, would accidentally influence his surroundings. Not that a poor man suddenly winning the lottery with the single ticket he'd bought or every rose in the garden blooming in mid-winter was a particularly bad thing, it was just rather odd to most bystanders. And, because Crowley had experienced such phenomenon before and was fully aware of the possibility of it happening at that moment he was only mildly surprised when it stopped raining and every flower in Anathema's garden opened up at once.

"Aziraphale?" they were still hugging, Crowley resting his chin on his angel's shoulder, Anathema smiling and slipping away (before either of them could notice her) to go and get the two of them a slice of cake by their tea as a form of celebration.

"Yes, my dear boy?"

"What would you say if I were to wear a dress to our wedding?"

Aziraphale felt like a bit of his heart melted at the fragile tone that barely covered up layers and layers of insecurities his demon had hid away for so long it had become another part of his personality.

"I would tell you that I would be absolutely delighted and quite sure that you would look all kinds of wonderful Crowley."

The demon made a little happy noise in the back of his throat muffled by the angles shoulder as he watched the last of the raindrops race each other down the glass and a soft breeze swept away the clouds to reveal the sun setting between the trees of Anathema's garden.

And the evening sky tinted red and yellow as the sun sank down, at peace with the world she was leaving behind.