#you don’t have a true self
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Bro r u ok
#you don’t have a true self#you have your percieved sense of self#you have other people’s perceived sense of you#but both things are artificial constructions#you act contrary to your sense of self all the time#consistency is an illusion that you’re better off not clinging to#certainly nothing about the ‘self’ is fixed#so why invest time and energy in constructing the OC of you that isn’t you if it brings you no joy?#reject individualism
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Brian Koch.
UGGGHHHH OH MY GODDD. they make me SO SICK.
Each other are the closest they’ve ever had within any relationship and now they’ve both lost that. Taco still clinging on hard and Microphone trying to leave it in the past. Each other are all they’ve ever had. THIS SUCKS.
Mic’s closest relationship doesn’t give her the one thing she’d been wanting her entire life, to be heard. She has such a close attachment and relationship with Taco yet she still can’t get her one true desire out of it. Yet throughout their partnership she gave Taco her all to really achieve in the game. She also tries to help Taco be her best self, to change and grow. She wants Taco to be good, because she cares for her more than anyone. Taco relies on Mic for not only this partnership and getting far in the game together but for her own self. Taco said she thinks better when talking to someone else, she needed to have someone with her. She was tired of being so alone all her life, and Mic filled that gap. She shared her tactics and thoughts to Mic as they worked together and she felt so close to her that she felt she could give Mic all she’s ever wanted. She tries and she fails, and she loses the one person that made her feel cared for. The only person in her life she’s ever been able to be truly close to. Now in her mind she has nothing. I hate them why are they like this.
#tacomic#had someone tell me that taco and pickle were closer than taco and mic once#sorry to break it to you#which wouldn’t even of made sense to begin with#taco was being her fake self with pickle#while she showed her true colours to mic#Siigh. I have more thoughts on this I can’t put into words#cursed with not being able to communicate my thoughts#I don’t liek tacomic
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kiryuu sibling stasis post-32 is so interesting to me. nanami tries to leave and is (temporarily but also, crucially, violently) prevented from doing so by touga and akio. after this experience she puts distance between herself and them: she leaves touga’s phone in the car, she resigns from the student council (though she dons her old uniform still), she repeatedly dismisses and undermines the authority of the rose code, of end of the world, of akio, of touga. but she’s still in ohtori, isn’t she? uncomfortable with the idea of leaving, uncertain if it’s really possible. she tried before, and it hurt her. deeply. it’s so interesting to me, nanami’s agency and how she limits her exertion of it after 32, when she realises it for what it is. contrast that with touga, who accepts this weird stalemate between them, who is, really, uninterested in having any relationship of any kind with nanami if he can’t gain something from her. he’s very passive with her after 32, compared to the passivity he’d always feigned towards her before in order to stoke reactions from her and then exploit them. i was thinking about how touga has always been able to sever his relationship with nanami, but chosen not to; first out of a sense of obligation (‘we should live to help each other’) then a realisation of how that could be exploited. i was thinking about how nanami has never realised her ability to leave, in part because it is limited by touga and the harm he does her. i was thinking about the desperation and confusion akio calls out to anthy with as she leaves. i was thinking about how different that is to the kiryuus’ strange semi-breakdown; touga doesn’t want or need nanami, and nanami might love her brother but she cannot trust him or feel safe around him, doesn’t want to see him anymore; she’s itching to leave, and just a little scared (you know, because last time she tried that her brother assaulted her), and he’s not doing anything because ignoring her means he doesn’t have to deal with the emotions of her leaving or staying. something something gendered power dynamics something something tragic siblings
#local kiryuu sibling enjoyer has thoughts about them#i wrote this like three days ago but it’s getting posted now i have to speak my truth#touga loves a bit of inaction#nanami doesn’t but what the fuck else is she gonna do?? be brave? she tried that already#and she WILL try it again and i don’t think touga will try particularly hard to stop her#i think he might try a little but in doing so he’ll just become more aware of how much he doesn’t want to do that#and is only doing it bc of a vague sense of obligation to a perspective on life that he’s already questioned a la utena#im just. i have so many feelings about them. i bet none of you were aware of that fact already#i am once again wondering: does touga love nanami? what does that mean for each of them?#and im concluding: i really don’t think he does#i think he’s felt obligation to her and turned bitter towards that emotion and her in turn#i think he has no idea how to feel about her so he ignores the problem and exploits HER feelings as he thinks he understands them#until he realises that he doesn’t and has to deal (a little bit) with the ramifications of that#touga and anthy when nanami makes them self reflect. or swagever. the 32 way. neither of them would ever admit this but it’s true#dais.txt#her tragedy her triumph
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once again i will remind you that no one is forcing you guys to buy multiple editions :) and literally no one is going to make you feel like “not a true fan” because of that please be serious….
#sorry but i simply do not have this struggle#you all are self imposing this pressure on yourself#newsflash most people don’t care if you’re a ‘true fan’ or not but if they did#you can’t tell how much merch or albums someone has by looking at their blog lmao#mine
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years ago kim cattrall did an interview and said that she doesn’t want to be in a situation for even an hour where she doesn’t enjoy herself and i was journaling this morning and thinking of it bc she is so correct for this
#ofc that doesn’t include the shit we HAVE to do but there is so much power in knowing the value of ur own free time#like maybe being busier like i have been has helped shift my perspective but like i get so little true frolic time to be creative and have#fun and write and socialize and do all that stuff that i love doing that it’s shocking to think that there was a time where i spent#precious minutes and hours of my life my free time that belongs to me absolutely sick with worry#worried about what other people think worried about not being good enough worried about how im perceived#worried about what I don’t know like do not ever put yourself in a situation where you aren’t enjoying yourself for even ONE hour if u have#the choice#valuing yourself and your time is like the most gentle act of self care there is
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First pass at the bingliu and bingqiu fusions
Bingliu has all of lqg’s confidence, lbh’s social graces, and both of their crippling need to avoid failure!
Bingqiu loves himself sooooo much, is pretty detached, and definitely thinks he’s better than everyone else. He’s just helping, why are you running away!
In the ficlet I said lqg doesn’t like interacting with BingQiu (or… sqq thinks that) but really it’s because BingQiu mercilessly flirts and teases him, is effortlessly stronger than him, and kind of projects ‘oh you sweet thing, I could just eat! you! up! [pinches cheeks]’ energy and this is such a contrast from his interactions with lbh and sqq that he just gets very awkward all the time about it.
#kamaetedraws#svsss#I guess haha#BingQiu#bingliu#fusion bingliushen au#BingQiu is like… when both of you want be wifey so bad…..#I don’t know if it comes across but bingqiu has a second face hiding a toothy mouth#like a mask…. you know… since both sqq and lbh mask their true selves#bingliu has a second pair of eyes that usually stay closed#they only open when they’re close to destabilizing#oooor when they really want to See something#things that amused me:#bingliu uses they/them pronouns bc lqg is [hand wave] about gender and lbh is [hyperventilates] about gender#so bingliu was like ‘split the difference’#bingqiu on the other hand uses he/him bc lbh and sqq have such a strong sense of who the other (is supposed to) be#that even though bingqiu is SO wife coded he’s gone back around to ‘dude who is so comfortable in his masculinity that he wears pink’ vibes#if sqq ever loosens up a single iota his fusion’s pronouns might change up but currently EVERY sqq fusion goes by he/him#funnily enough this contrasts og!sqq who fused and used they/the#less bc of gender and more that he has such an ingrained sense of self#that when he’s fused he conceptualises that as sharing….#so plural not neutral even though they are a singular being#sqq just hates himself a lot about it
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The New Titans #55 (1989)
Batman (2010-) #641
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Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016-) #6
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Batman and Red Hood (2011-) #20
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Batman (2016-) #138
They sure do bAT&Tman. They sure as hell do.
Yet Jason never thought this way about you.
#Don’t you dare kill them with a simple headshot Jason! I have to keep them alive so I can torment them until they wished they were dead#they’ll never use their hands again. this is the superior way#and you should follow in my footsteps as any self-respecting non-criminal vigilante would in order to keep your conscience squeaky clean#also how dare you not be more understanding of the fact that I completely betrayed your trust#and threw your unhealable trauma in your face and shamelessly admitted to it#after I slit your throat in front of the murderer responsible for that same trauma while he laughed in your face a few years back#god you are a terrible son u are so selfish everything I ever said about you while u were dead was true ur being such a burden rn#also I just love how in batman 640 Bruce was going around interrogating Ollie and Clark (ppl who died + came back)#to find a *~rational~* explanation for how Jason was even here#instead of yk. just being glad your child is alive#and when Damian died he does all this shit to Jason to figure *how to* bring Dami back#after he burned his artwork the same way he emptied out Jason’s room#god you flaming turd of a father never change#the fact that lobdell boiled down Jason’s reasoning to ‘he’s the bad guy and you’re the good guy Jason’#already shows we’re starting off on the wrong foot but#Jason coming back to Bruce in every new comic and saying the same ‘I tried it your way. or sucks’ thing is so silly because#it*#he already learned that decades ago#all the way back in batman 424 lol#you’re just. making him. look like an idiot. but yk what maybe that’s still better than the self-deprecating diversion bs#that’s actually convincing more people ‘yay Jason want redemption this is revolutionary & has definitely never been done a billion times b4#and is a step in the *right* direction’#my post
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Our stay on this earth is so so short, we’re in such a dream state that we keep forgetting this truth
#there’s this girl in my area who died two days ago just like that#collapsed due to the heat and then had a heart attack and died#الله يرحمها#she’s like 19/20#people our age are dying right next to us#yet we think we’re safe and still have time to improve to change to repent#what great regret it’ll be if we don’t die in the state of true sincere repentance but in one of ghaflah and self deception and sin#being consumed by your nafs by this world and sucked into it#اللهم اني اسالك حسن الخاتمة#we’re so lost in our worldly struggles and ideas and desires that we forget what we’re here for#you can live on this earth and engage with people and enjoy your stay even if you always keep your heart in check and your deeds aligned#with what Allah swt wants#you can turn all your actions into worship by having the right intention#eating sleeping -> to gain strength for worship and be of benefit for people#studying working -> learn about the beauty and intricacy that Allah has put into His creation#work to achieve what Allah has written for you#that’s true life connecting everything to the Creator the One who gave us life#everything else is just deception and will go to waste#and cannot be called a true life
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Oh I’m utterly fascinated by how people of the past expressed the unexplainable through art and poetry, turning their turmoil from being alone and misunderstood into something beautiful that all may see.
Honestly a shame that people now just whine about not enough flags to represent them when at some point in the past many individuals would not even know how to justify what they were feeling nor find people alike, and to atleast find comfort in the solitude escaped through music and literature, fanaticising about worlds where such a thing was normalised or turning themselves into a beast, to share with the world the level of their inner workings.
#Silly#queer#lgbtqia#alterhuman#therian#otherkin#literature#victorian#art#poetry#writing#nonhuman#gothic#dark#gay#lesbian#asexual#pansexual#bisexual#relatable#neurodivergent#”Buh but we don’t have enough xyz!”#Boohoo you litterally have an ever growing community online full of supportive people and places.#Not to be a “back in my day” but back in the 1300s. 1700s. 1900s. Despite that being still a thing then#Barely anyone if any at all could consciously be aware of what they were feeling was something normal to them#Most saw these beyond normal people as beasts. Creatures worth putting down.#So it isn’t strange that people began to experiment with creation to tell the world how they feel or see themselves#Show everyone the true self and inner workings#Just how many have portrayed themselves through their work and we don’t even know about it?#Anyways sorry not sorry for the rant
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I’m shadowing at the vet clinic in 2 days and I’m clearly not nervous at all because I definitely didn’t have a long winding, distressing dream in which the veterinarian made me play a game in which leif had to throw food at people and maki kicked his ass so bad that leif fucking died but don’t worry because the vet was there and he has magic healing powers and he brought leif back to life but he made sure to mention for some reason that leif doesn’t have chlorophyll because he’s not a plant
#what’s up guys I’m not nervous in the slightest#there was more to the dream but that part was the most vivid#I slept through the whole night the other night for the first time in months and I was really hoping that it’d happen again#WRONG that was a fluke. woke up like 4 times#sigh OKAY!!!#if I disappear from the face of the earth on Monday it’s because I did something so embarrassing that I went to go live in a hole#it’s three hours what’s the worst I could do CLEARLY MY DREAM THINKS A LOT COULD GO WRONG#notes to self. do not show up an hour late. do not forget your shoes#and f-y-fucking-i do NOT quote finch holy SHIT#that was a horrible dream I made a total ass of myself#I fear it will come true because. I have a tendency to say and do the wrong thing#it is all replaying in my head…..the time a girl called me pretty and I just stared at her and walked away…….#the time I said ‘I don’t say thank you to anyone’ instead of ‘I’m not ignoring your compliment I just have selective mutism’#the time I accidentally angrily screamed ‘GOOD MORNING’ at an old man because I couldn’t control my tone of voice#< actually he deserved that lmao he yelled at me first. fuck that guy frfr that was traumatic#this is just my stream of consciousness atp hey guys I’ll shut up now
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You are so right in your distaste for Blades book 2. No matter how great things get near the end, a majority of the book was horrible. They led us along like mouse to cheese. It’s inexcusable to play with their audience this way.
I only wish more people were less willing to excuse PB’s mediocrity. The signs were on the wall for me when DLS was flat out better than Blades 2, and it’s narratively quite simple. The story told was well paced, thought out, and above all kept us waiting for more each week. I cannot say the same for B2. That is sad.
I mean I do understand why people still enjoyed it and were willing to overlook the negative aspects or didn’t have much of a problem with them to begin with. Blades 1 was a fan favorite, we all missed these characters a lot, and many people (myself included at one point) didn’t believe we would actually get book 2 because of all the bait and switches PB had done in the past. But the first two things are why I personally couldn’t overlook the glaring issues.
I can’t remember who the OP was now, but I remember seeing a post from when book 2 only had a few chapters out where someone said something about it seeming like the writers learned all the wrong things about what made the book so good, and I couldn’t agree with that person more! Yeah, book 1 was good because it was different from anything we had ever gotten before. But I think the main reason it was so good was because of the characters as individuals and the relationships we got to form with those individuals to ultimately become a family. Yet they didn’t really acknowledge those individuals or relationships in ways that did them justice for the majority of book 2. And on top of that, MC’s own characterization was inconsistent at times because the writers picked and chose when they wanted us to be a competent leader and when they wanted us to be virtually clueless for plot convenience.
Book 1 was also relatively straightforward whereas it seemed like the writers wanted to turn the sequel into their own personal commentary on religion, which is an incredibly complex topic in itself. They had some social commentary in book 1, but it was done a lot better in my opinion because it didn’t take so much of a front seat. They managed to make it clear that that commentary was important and relevant to the writers, the characters, and the readers living in the real world while never robbing book 1 of that fun adventure game used for escapism feel. Meanwhile, book 2 almost felt like ‘Rising Tides but make it religion’ at times. And that’s on top of all of the other issues I’ve already mentioned in my previous posts.
I will say that I can see how there’s usually a lot of pressure to blow things out of the water for a sequel to something so beloved, and that most likely contributed to how things played out. So maybe I’m being a bit too harsh in my judgement of everything. But I still find it very disappointing to wait so long for something just for it to be so messy and miss the mark by a mile
#choices bolas#choices blades#blades of light and shadow#choices stories you play#playchoices#I think the alcohol I had tonight is making me soft#bc there’s another side of me that agrees with you about how people should be less willing to excuse PB’s mediocrity#and that’s in general not just about Blades#but at the same time I’m like maybe I’m going too hard and need to chill 😂#so I’ll just say harsh but true#also about DLS I’m not VIP so I haven’t finished it yet#but I am still enjoying it#idk if I’d say it’s well paced#it’s definitely not as badly paced as Blades 2 but I think they are dragging it out a bit#to really capitalize on those sex scenes every chapter 😂#however as a lot of people have already pointed out DLS knows what it is bc the writers were actually self aware for once#which makes it enjoyable because we aren’t taking it too seriously and nor are the writers or the characters as an extension of them#so we can fuck around in the neighborhood (literally and figuratively) - get good dirt on everyone - and play detective on the side#and MC and the LI don’t act like self righteous little bitches#like people who are smarter than they actually are#or like they fell madly in love within the first 2 seconds of meeting#and the crazy thing is that the romance is fairly well written tbh#choices#choices app#choices ask
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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People should be more afraid of asexuals, because they’re the only people that are immune to one of the seven deadly sins
#seven deadly sins#maybe they have metaphorical lust. lust for the aesthetic#asexual#we also should fear aromantics but they aren’t necessarily immune to lust so fear them for the usual reasons#pride? sometimes can be negated by self-hatred but usually shows up when you do something to be proud of. as it should#greed? you might donate your money to orphans but if anyone touches your collection of shiny trinkets their hand will be removed#envy? unless you have never met any other living beings I don’t think it’s possible to escape this one#wrath? work in public service for a week and we’ll get you wanting to fistfight god#gluttony? eating disorders are a thing; however you should definitely eat something unless you wanna die#sloth? insomnia is a thing. but you should probably sleep if you don’t want to be driven mad upon the rocks#honestly too little of the seven deadly sins is also bad. no sloth? you’re barely functioning. no gluttony? you die of starvation.#no wrath? you’ll become a doormat. no envy? you’ll never want to improve yourself. no greed? you give all your stuff away and are now poor#no pride? you don’t love yourself AT ALL. no lust? no new generation.#and frankly that last one isn’t bad in the slightest considering that much is also true for people with a same-gender significant other#(unless they are also trans and willing but that’s a them problem to have)#plus overpopulation is a thing anyway so frankly the less lust the better.#the avatar of lust has been too overworked the past few decades and and wants a damn break for once#tw eating issues#tw eating disorder#eating disorder mention#shitpost
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Luffy loves Sanji so much, like that HIS cook
#Luffy is odas self insert in the sense that they both have an undying love for sanji#and I didn’t even see the recent episode and I know it to be true#but I’m pretty sure sanji pulled some shit of the sacrificial variety that Luffy would not be happy about 😤😭#Luffy would do ANYTHING for sanji you don’t understand 😭#monkey d luffy#vinsmoke sanji#but against my will#one piece#Luffy#sanji#wano#wci
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Any ideology that says you need to take hormones and get surgeries to “be your true self” and not getting access to those things is akin to genocide is an ideology that needs to be scrutinized.
#radblr#radfem#radical feminism#radical feminists do interact#gender critical#Even if the hormones and treatments were safe#Which they’re not#Even if they were it’s still very suspicious#To act like these elective surgeries are life saving#And not having access to them is just like gay conversion therapy#Once you’re in the mindset of having to spend thousands of dollars and permanently change your body#To be your true self#And that anyone suggesting barriers is a Nazi who hates you#You are anti scientific and don’t understand the precariousness of the human body#And don’t forget they’re fucking covered by insurance in US states where insulin isn’t even covered!!!#My post
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stp voice of the opportunist is the kinda guy to request someone perform a mormon ‘baptism for the dead’ for him in his will just on the slightest off chance they’re actually right. this makes him a bit of a slimy weasely shithead and also it makes me want him so fucking badly
#wearing tshirt with ‘I LOVE MORALLY-DISREPUTABLE SELF-FOCUSED CHARACTERS’#guys who are just kind of a prick because they’re always playing for all sides to their individual benefit#and more so when it’s based down from complex opportunism to the most base goal: survive.#like. in stp you are in a Life And Death Situation. there’s more preferable outcomes—#you’d love to not have to kill anyone if you don’t Have To! — but ultimately you’re looking out for YOU and you only#and if the narrator IS true then well… anything else is your doom.#he spawns because of the narrator forcing the player into betrayal. a stab in the back. why wouldn’t he be open to doing the same?#sorry this was originally abt character tropes then very quickly into fandom posting. anyway.#< also grain of salt it i have not seen all routes including even all opportunistic routes#3.2.24
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