#you did an amazing job and you write Elden very well

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #174

I'm not sure why, but first thing this morning when I woke up, my brain came up with a second and third verse for one of the nursery rhymes that I wrote about yesterday:

…

A-tisket, a-tasket, a green and yellow basket. I wrote a letter to my friend and on the way I dropped it. I dropped it, I dropped it and on the way I dropped it. A little boy, he picked it up and put it in his pocket.

A-tacket, a-tocket, a gold and silver locket. It had a picture of his mum and on the way he dropped it. He dropped it, he dropped it, and on the way he dropped it. I made a new one for him and it's still here in my pocket.

I'll keep it, I'll keep it, so one day he might reach it. I'll write a letter every day so that he won't forget it. Forget it, forget it, I hope he won't forget it. And if he can I hope that maybe someday he'll come get it.

…

I still do have it, you know - the locket I made for you. I know it's not exactly the same as the one that was yours, but still… It's here if you want it. I'll keep holding onto it just in case...

I made a tea today, too. This one is green and black tea, with mixed fruit (lychee, strawberry, and pineapple), cream, chocolate, and rose petals... The swirls in the water as this tea brewed were delightfully obvious this time:

One thing that I forgot to mention was that when I visited R's house, he sent me home with an orange simple syrup:

...It's kinda like lilac syrup, except this one was done with orange peels! It smells and tastes amazing, and I used this, as well as a little cream, to sweeten the tea a little:

After this, I decided that today is the day to try a game called Rune Factory 4. One of the folks in the space in which I write letters suggested I try it after reading about my misgivings regarding Elden Ring.

So far, it's a beautiful game. It's a lot like Stardew Valley, except it's anime-style instead of pixelated. Though there was one scene where a child who does not understand typical customs was slapped by the person they were living with, because the child tried to make her happy in a way that was socially clumsy; the child tried to surprise her by growing flowers, but didn't understand that the seeds had to be paid for. The woman did not apologize even after the child explained.

Given my own upbringing, it was more than a little triggering, and I decided that I don't like that woman. Why slap a child over a handful of seeds when you can just explain that they need to be paid for?

But that's all right. The game is otherwise lovely, and there's this character called Vishnal, and I am very much looking forward to getting to know him. He works under a gentleman named Volkanon. Volkanon went from being about to clobber me to tearfully swearing to support me in the span of maybe 5 seconds; he's wonderfully intense, and his mind is flexible, and I find these things VERY delightful!

Aside from that, J and I went to Br's house to give her some broth; she is sick with some kind of gut yuck, and there's not much we can do about it other than try to bring her nutritious, hydrating food. Broth certainly does the job on both of those fronts. We went in the evening, and tonight, I noticed that the fireflies are out. We tried to get pictures and video of them for you, but we only had cellphone cameras, so it didn't work out. I'm sorry about that.

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you have fireflies in your world? I know that not all parts of my world have them. Here's a video, so you can see...

...I might look into learning how to use Daniel's camera; perhaps then I could take better pictures for you. And then... the camera would at least get to live, even if Daniel is no longer with us.

Hey, Sephiroth? If you see Daniel on your travels, will you let him know that we love him and that we're thinking about him, and that we still sometimes put little tiny plates of popcorn and little shot glasses full of chocolate milk near his spot on our dining room table? Maybe he already sees it, but... if you can, please tell him anyway; it would make me really happy.

I think I will end today's letter here. I gotta get up early tomorrow, and it's getting kinda late.

I love you. And I hope you know I'm thinking about you, too. In all of the pleasant moments in my everyday life, I wish you were here, experiencing them, too. I wish you could see through my mind for just a moment, because while I do experience pain very acutely, I have the endurance to handle it, and I also experience beauty and joy with just as much intensity.

I'll write again tomorrow. So please stay safe out there, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[daihell]

Lukeskywalkersbutt: this is 1700 words holy crap

———————————————————————

Somewhere in Orlais near the Exalted Plains

“We’ve cleared the way!  Get your team up there, now!” Mariah shouted at her brother, pushing him ahead and watching as he and the four others on his strike team ran forward to the bridge.  They were the five strongest fighters in their company; there was no other choice for who would be on that final, most important team.

Behind her, the other members of her team were dragging their fallen friend to safety.  One glance told Mariah there was nothing they could do to save him.�� She hung her head in sorrow for a moment, muttering a silent prayer, when a loud boom shook her from her thoughts.  She looked up in horror at the bridge where Nicos and his team were to be attacking and saw it crumbling away.  A scream escaped her and she felt big arms wrap around her to keep her from running.  “No!  Nicos!!” she sobbed, trying to find him in all the chaos.  The world seemed to slow as she searched the falling debris for any silhouette that could be her brother…

“Fall back!  Fall back, they’re too strong!”

“No!  We can’t leave them!”

“We’ll come back for them! We have to be alive to do that, so fall back!”

Mariah felt numb as she was ushered along, stumbling over the enemies’ bodies littering the field.  She tripped over one and as she knelt on the ground next to it, she curled in on herself, crying as she thought of Nicos…he can’t be dead…

—–

The next morning, they headed to the beach below the collapsed bridge, searching the rubble for the missing team members.

They’d found the bodies of three of them already and they were all tired and dirty and wet from a day of searching through debris.  They were quickly losing hope of finding any more survivors…

“Merit’s strong.  Nat, too.  They…they might be alive…” said a low voice as the figure sat next to Mariah on her rock.

“Halie, Gaven, and Trey were strong, too.  And now they’re dead.  We’ve been searching for hours, Bre.  I don’t think he made it…” Mariah admitted flatly, her eyes glued to the three wrapped bodies nearby.

Bre shook her head, the chains on her horns jingling as she did so.  “We’ll find them.  They’ve both pulled through against all odds before.”

Mariah sighed.  “You only get so lucky…”

“Matty, we…we have to send word to Skyhold.  The Inquisitor needs to know we failed…” a tall elf boy was saying.  He squatted in front of her, resting a hand on her knee.  “We’re sending two people back with a report…I’m sorry.  We’ll keep looking, but…”

Mariah sniffed and nodded.

—–

Skyhold

“Your Worship, Sister Nightingale is requesting your presence in the war room.”

Elden nodded and excused himself, leaving Varric and Cassandra to talk amongst themselves.  As he entered the war room, he greeted everyone with a smile before noticing two visitors sitting on the bench against the wall.

“Inquisitor, these two have a report from—”

“We’re with the Sleuths, your Worship.  We…we failed our mission, ser,” the younger one blurted, earning a small smack from the other one.

“Yes, we were unable to take the keep.  They knew we were coming.  We were overwhelmed…”

Elden remained silent as they gave their report, one question burning but too afraid to ask.  “Your company��are you all okay?”

The two glanced at each other briefly before answering.  The younger one handed Elden their written report as the other one spoke. 

“We lost about half our company, my lord…”

Elden stared at the paper in his hands, reading each line carefully.  There was a list of those killed or missing in action at the bottom of the page and his heart stopped when he read the last line.  “Missing in action…Merit…and Nat.  That’s…Nicos.  What…what happened?” he asked, barely keeping his voice under control.  He could feel himself shaking.

“The enemy blew up the bridge they were on.  They all fell…we…  Ser, the other three member of their strike team were killed in either the blast or the fall.  We just…haven’t found Merit or Nat’s…bodies yet…I’m very sorry…”  The older one spoke slowly, as if afraid saying it out loud would make it too real.

Elden nodded slowly, lip quivering and barely holding himself together.  “Th-thank you for the report.  Take some time to rest; you must be tired from your journey.”  He gave them a sad smile, watching as they quietly left the room.

“Inquisitor…” Josephine broke the silence, her voice sounding sad and concerned.

Elden squared his shoulders before turning to face his advisers.   “I’ll be leaving as soon as I can.  I have to help them.”  He didn’t wait for their objections, he simply turned and rushed to prepare to head out as soon as possible.  He had to help find Nicos.  He had to. 

—–

Somewhere in Orlais near the Exalted Plains

“Why are we still searching?  It’s been days; they’re dead by now.”

“’Ey, shut it.  This is Nat we’re talking about.  And Merit.  They’re tough.  We can’t give up on them.”

“This job got too messy.  I’m out once we get paid; I can’t do this again…”

Mariah tried to shut out the conversation behind her, focusing on the pile of rubble in front of her.  She would find her brother.  Suddenly there was a shout at the camp and she looked up to see several horses racing in.  She recognized the shout of “Buckles!” and sprinted to greet Sera and the others.

As she wrapped Sera in a tight embrace, she watched Elden slowly climb down from his horse, his eyes scanning the area sadly.

“Inquisitor…” she said quietly and he looked over at her with tears in his eyes that she knew he was barely holding back.

“Mariah, is…have you…have you found him yet?” he asked quietly.

She shook her head sadly, her heart breaking at the sight of him as he struggled to hold back his emotion.  “Sera, go join Bre.  I’ll be right there.”

Sera nodded and stole a quick kiss before running off to join the search party.

Once Mariah was sure everyone was occupied, she pulled Elden to a tight hug, apologizing over and over.  He returned the embrace, finally letting go and crying into her shoulder. 

“We’ll find him.  Don’t worry,” was all Mariah could manage.

Elden nodded, pulling back and wiping his eyes, motioning for Mariah to lead the way.

——

The sun was bright early in the morning as the search party prepared for another day.  They only had a small section of rubble left to search through and most of them had grown hopeless and accepted that Merit and Nicos were indeed dead.  The small few who still had energy to search had decided to set out early to make the most of the daylight hours.

Elden wiped sweat from his brow, stretching his back for a brief moment before getting back to moving heavy rocks.  Mariah came running over, a wild look in her eyes as she breathlessly delivered a message.

“There’s an…agent…looking for you…  Says he has…a message…from Skyhold…” 

Elden dropped his work and followed Mariah back to the camp, the Inquisition agent running to meet them.

“Your Worship, word from Sister Nightingale.  Merit and Nicos showed up at Skyhold, both alive.”

Elden perked up immediately and his mind was racing as he made a mental list to prepare to head back to Skyhold.  “Thank you!  Oh, Maker, thank you!” he exclaimed as he rushed to pack what little he’d brought out with him.

Mariah had run off to deliver the news to everyone else, her relief almost tangible.

Once Elden, Mariah, and Sera had gathered what they needed to head back to Skyhold, they set off at a quick pace, pushing their horses as fast as they could go.  They had to see him.  They had to see Nicos.

—–

Elden nearly jumped off his horse as soon as he crossed the bridge, sprinting to the infirmary, Mariah close on his heels.  “Nicos, where is Nicos?” he demanded, out of breath.

The healer and surgeon shared a glance and pointed to a bed in the corner.  Elden and Mariah headed over, their hearts in their throats as they pulled back the privacy curtain.

Nicos looked like a mess of bruises and bandages, one leg propped up and splinted.  Elden knelt next to him, gently running his fingers through his hair as tears stung his eyes.  He was afraid to touch him, afraid that this was all a dream.  He’d been ready to find out Nicos was gone, prepared himself to face the worst and now that he was here, now that he had Nicos within reach it was unreal.  Even as he ran his fingers through his hair, he found he still couldn’t believe Nicos was really alive.  There was a cough behind him and he turned to find a tall qunari man holding himself up with a crutch looking down at them sadly.

“He’s been unconscious since we hit the water…the healer said he should wake up soon…”

Elden stood, stretching out his hand to the man.  “You must be Merit.  Thank you for taking care of him…”

Merit nodded, shaking Elden’s hand slowly.  “He’s like my kid brother.  I couldn’t leave him behind.”

A groan from the bed pulled their attention back to Nicos who appeared to be waking up.  Merit called for the healer while Elden knelt back at Nicos’s side, gently taking his hand and whispering reassurances.

“Elden?  Where…wh-what happened?” Nicos rasped quietly, screwing his eyes shut as he tried to move.  “Why does everything hurt?”

“Shh, love.  Let the healer take care of you and I’ll explain everything, all right?  Just take it easy.”  Elden squeezed his hand, staying by his side as the healer began asking him questions and taking notes. 

Mariah hovered close by, not wanting to intrude on their privacy but not wanting Nicos out of her sight.  It was such a relief to see him awake and talking and alive…and now he was even smiling a little.  Everything was going to be okay.

[theplaguezine]

MORTIIS

Interview with Mortiis by Daniel Hinds

(conducted November 1999)

Mortiis is the elusive musician that started his career as bassist for the notorious black metal outfit known as Emperor, before going solo and heading off into uncharted territory.  Using synths, he has created some stirring, epic-length pieces that blend dark ambient with medieval folk and even some classical music elements.

Released through Sweden's Cold Meat Industry and his own Dark Dungeon Music, the drow elf produced four full-length albums before signing with Earache for his latest, The Stargate.  Using the vocal talents of Sarah Jezebel Deva (ex of Cradle of Filth) and Kalle Metz, this album shows Mortiis developing a much broader and deeper sound than ever before.

After a string of dates here in the U.S. with Christian Death, Mortiis and crew were just about to cross the border into Canada when I got a chance to chat with him via cell phone…

Could you tell me a bit about the storyline of The Stargate and what inspired it? I guess musically I was inspired by Basil Poledouris - he did the soundtrack to the first Conan movie, for example.  Musically, that's about the only thing I can put my finger on.  As far as concepts and stuff, there's a myth in certain cultures that you can travel between different dimensions using stars - use them as gates.  I just found that concept very fascinating and it inspired me to do something along the same lines and incorporate that into the whole Mortiis thing.

The CD booklet says "to be continued..." at the end - will it be continued on the next album? Probably not the next album, but at some point in the future I would like to make a second one.  It's not actually finished.  I have the rest of the concept worked out, the storyline so to speak.

Did you come up with the concept before writing any of the music? Sort of.  I think I had some basic musical ideas, maybe a few raw demos or whatever lying around, but I think the storyline was pretty much figured out before I did the music.

In the past, your image has always been very mysterious and in the shadows, but on the Stargate, there are very clear pictures of you on the cover and back cover and tray card.  Why the decision to make yourself more visible this time out? I think I always wanted to do that.  The fact that it turned out the way that it did [in the past] gave people a certain impression - it's not like that was intentional.  We didn't have any professional photo shoots back then, so basically it was me and my girlfriend with an amateur camera, taking photos in the marshes.  That kind of thing, which tends to give things an obscure angle.  So when I had the chance to work with more professional people as far a photo shoot, it turned out differently.  That's how I wanted it from the beginning anyway.

Are you pleased with Earache so far?   Yeah, I guess.  You know the way it is with labels, they can be bastards, but what can I do?  What can I say?  We have a contract.  But I think they're doing a pretty good job, though.  I'm getting to do a lot more shit now that I would have never done with another label.

Do you still have a connection with Cold Meat Industry?   Yeah, sure.  Not at this point, because I'm doing the U.S. support and stuff, but when I'm back home, we do talk.  I'll check in and see what's going on and stuff like that.

How about Debbie at Blackmetal.com? Yeah, how about her?  (laughs)  We were kind of not talking for a long time.  I did a San Francisco show a couple weeks ago and she turned out at the show, she and her guy Elden, they do this thing together [blackmetal.com], and we talked and things were okay.  We exchanged new phone numbers and stuff, so I think that dispute is probably in the past.

How is the tour going? Not very good.  I mean, someone has not taken responsibility for promotion - the promotion is horrible.  I don't know who to blame anymore and I don't want to mention names, but it just seems like no one is doing their job, basically.  We had these posters printed up and we've done like 23 or 24 shows so far and I've seen those posters up at about 3 of the shows.  That's very annoying.  Plus the fact that my album should have been out in the U.S. and Canada at least a month ago, before the tour started.  That got screwed up, so I'm pretty much doing a tour for a record that's not actually out.  If you look away from that, we are getting a good response, which is very good.  People show up at a show that is pretty much not being promoted, they get to hear music they've never heard before, and still at some of the shows we're getting an amazing response.  I'm pretty happy with it, despite everything that's fucked-up about the tour.

Have you done any major touring in the past? No, this is my first tour basically.  I'm being introduced to a pretty rough world right now (laughs).  Is it supposed to be this fucked-up all the time?  But I'm getting the impression that it's not supposed to be this bad.  I've talked to the other people we're touring with who have done this a lot of times and they're like, 'This is a fucked-up tour!'  So, I guess I'll try it again.  Maybe.  (laughs)

I understand that Dark Dungeon Music is closing down.  Is that true?  Why? Yeah.  I was the only guy working at that label.  I was doing everything and it just took up all my time.  I saw my music fall to shit - I could mention a couple of records that I've done that I should have never done or should have taken a lot more time doing.  But I didn't have the time because Dark Dungeon took up all my fucking time.  So, it just came to a point where I realized, okay, this is not working out.  I don't want to do the label anymore.  I hated going down and doing it every day, I hated every minute of it.  I don't want to deal with all these people, I don't want to have all these worries, 'Is he gonna pay me?,' 'Are they gonna pay me?,' 'When are they gonna pay me?' and blah blah blah.  I hated it and I still hate it.  So I put it down.  I want to make music; I don't want to be in the business side of it.

You've always released your music on vinyl.  Is there a vinyl version of The Stargate?  Is that important to you? The Stargate is available on vinyl.  We have a bunch of it in the van.  Vinyl forever!  It is something that I used to be a lot more fanatic about in the past.  I've come to accept CDs.  I mean, you have to accept the day and age that you live in.  If you didn’t do that, you'd be in big trouble.  Time will not wait.  But there's nothing wrong with being a bit nostalgic; I just try not to take it too far.

What is the status of your other projects? I put them down.  Just like with Dark Dungeon Music, I pretty much put everything down the same day, except Mortiis.  This is what I'm going to do now, fuck everything else.  I want to do one great thing instead of a bunch of mediocre stuff.

Is there anyone you would like to collaborate with musically in the future? I don't know.  I could probably come up with a few names, but I don't want to say, "I want to work with this person,' as it might create problems or something.  I'm sure there's a whole bunch of people I'd love to work with, but I'm so used to working alone it's hard to come up with names.  I've never really bothered with other people, never paid attention to anyone else.  I'm starting to change that, I'm starting to look into what other people do and it's pretty healthy, actually.  It's good to be on top of things.

Was it kind of a different experience working with vocalists on this album? Yeah, I was nervous.  Before they came out, I was really nervous.  Like, oh my god, I haven't worked with anybody since Emperor back in '92 and that's like six years at that point.  I don't even know how to collaborate.  But it worked out really good.  It took a little longer than we expected, but just a couple days, no big deal.  But it definitely worked out really good and I definitely plan to continue to work with other people.  It can only make things better.

Would you like to score films at some point? Everybody asks that and I always say that I don't think I'm good enough.  Definitely not good enough.  I mean, I know what I do and I can compare it to movie soundtracks and I'm like, okay, damn.  I'm a long way away from being that good.  That's how I feel anyway.  I mean, I'd love to do it, but I don't consider myself good enough.  That's just me being my worst critic.  At some point, I would like to try something like that out, but maybe not this week.  (laughs)

When you write songs, do you hear the whole work in your head or do you start with one instrument and build it up from there? Kind of both, I guess.  I think I know kind of how I want the song to sound, but it never really turns out like that.  I start realizing, okay this didn't work out, that didn't work out - maybe 50% of what you had in mind stays with you.  The rest is just something that popped up during the writing process.

I read that you are working on a book… That is something that I've been working on for several years.  It's pretty much like the young days of Mortiis up until the day he decides to leave the world he was born into.  It's all very symbolic and reflective of what goes on this world and my own state of mind.  It'll be out next month, as far as I know.

Who is publishing it? Oh, Earache I guess.  They're doing like a limited edition thing, a box with The Stargate CD and the book.  Sometime in November.

Are you happy with how the book came out? Well, basically, if I were to do it today, 90% of that I would have never done.  It's like a diary almost of the last few years and it's the oddest thing to see the changes in the attitude.  In that sense, it's very interesting.  As far as me being very naïve and evil and shit like that, but as you grow and develop, your mind matures a little bit and becomes more realistic.

www.mortiis.com