#you couldve left me to my own devices
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listlesslady · 25 days ago
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WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE BLOCKING ME BACK? THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOUR DOING. WHAT THE FUCK.
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weirdmageddon · 2 years ago
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yesterday i wrote a scene where jade wasnt a plot device and was left the hell alone in A6A5 because this being dave and jade’s last proper conversation in years made me sad and i wanted to see them reunite properly. i mixed a bit of narration in too even though it was rare around this point in the comic but its just to paint a better picture. also i wouldnt mind feedback on character voice (it’s important to me that the dialogue sounds believable)
[3 years are over, everyone is in the new session. The prospit ship is on LOMAX, as is everyone who arrived on the meteor, safely warped by Jade onto LOMAX as well. Jade has banished B2 Jack to the Furthest Ring already. She hasn't seen her friends in 3 years, not to mention she never met the trolls in person yet.]
[Jade teleports to LOMAX where John was talking with the meteor crew. Her eyes widen when she sees the trolls, giving everyone a greeting. Jade waves to the trolls.]
You’ll have time to catch up with them later. First you want to reconvene with Rose and Dave.
> ==>
Dave... Oh my god! DAVE!!! That’s right! The last time you saw him, he died in your arms after Jack redirected the bullets from your gun into his body!
JADE: dave!!!! DAVE: hey DAVE: this has been three years coming hasnt it DAVE: cmere
> ==>
[Dave hugs Jade with a slight grin on face. He notices her… sniffing him?? but doesn’t even bother to question it.]
JADE: it is so nice to hold your body when its not a corpse :) DAVE: ok DAVE: weird thing to say DAVE: actually who am i kidding who gives a shit DAVE: i almost forgot how much i missed the enigmatic riddlefuckery that is your phrasing DAVE: fortunately i have context for this so i know what youre saying DAVE: humor me for a sec and imagine that i didnt DAVE: but first DAVE: are those dog ears JADE: yes! i am part dog now JADE: because i prototyped my dreamself with becsprite JADE: jadesprite became part of me! and so did her doggy traits from bec DAVE: got it DAVE: oh yeah john mentioned that on the back of his dumb poster inside that bucket that appeared out of thin air DAVE: right before we had to haul ass out of there before jack caught up to us DAVE: karkat had a complete fucking meltdown over that btw i wish you couldve seen it DAVE: damn it feels like so long ago now JADE: heheheh i remember JADE: john realized it at the last second but it was too late! DAVE: of course it was johns idea only he could do something that gooberish DAVE: you know what this means though JADE: yup!! woof woof DAVE: it means youve done it harley DAVE: youve finally done it god damn it DAVE: the evolution of humankind is finally upon us DAVE: the scientists said it would never happen in our lifetime DAVE: but look what we have here DAVE: before me stands mans first legitimate furry subspecies DAVE: homo canis DAVE: as the name implies theyre gay as fuck btw DAVE: its too bad all those scientists are dead and cant witness this phylogenetic breakthrough DAVE: rip to the science community yall wouldve lost your collective shit DAVE: hey jade lets pour one out for the science community for being real ones
> ==>
You are still nestled into Dave’s shoulder. He’s taken a sort of protective position over you. Your perceptive barkbeast ears can hear his formerly bullet-riddled heart beating a mile a minute with the regularity of quartz beneath his time-branded pajamas, all the while he continues to ramble to you about certifiably dumb shit. You can tell Dave is psyched to see you again, even if he expresses it in his OWN bizarre way, which means extended metaphors and topical tangents. What a hypocrite, calling YOUR phrasing perplexing! You sure missed this guy.
You realize you started tuning him out while thinking about all this.
DAVE: jade JADE: umm homo is the species name JADE: so wouldnt that mean were all gay? :p DAVE: yeah that sounds about right DAVE: anyway enough of this bullshit
> ==>
[Dave motions to retract his arms since he doesn’t want it to get too weird, but Jade squeezes tighter. Dave immediately yields to the movement]
DAVE: jesus wow ok DAVE: really happy to see you too DAVE: like if you had a tail it would be wagging so forcefully youd be knocking over all the fucking furnishings in the room DAVE: just slapping it so hard on the owners thigh that it feels like theyre being flogged DAVE: talk about getting bitch slapped JADE: :D DAVE: so howve you been JADE: really really excited to see you guys all again!!! JADE: and to meet the trolls! DAVE: yeah theyre pretty weird DAVE: and im still not used to it DAVE: but it gets more manageable the longer youre around them DAVE: by the way JADE: ?
> ==>
DAVE: sorry you had to go through that JADE: through what? DAVE: seeing me die and stuff again DAVE: except that time right in front of you JADE: .... DAVE: when we were gathering up all those frogs i knew jack was going to appear DAVE: i was waiting and waiting to play it out DAVE: mentally rehearsing my fucking torso getting turned into swiss cheese and knowing you would have to watch on top of it DAVE: i had to make sure it happened to protect the integrity of the alpha timeline DAVE: but if you knew this was going to happen you wouldve tried to prevent it and created a doomed one DAVE: and so i didnt say anything DAVE: i couldnt DAVE: so DAVE: sorry for putting you through that JADE: oh..... JADE: dave D: JADE: well im here JADE: if you ever want to talk about it DAVE: its cool DAVE: you just deserve to know what happened there DAVE: but thanks DAVE: so am i JADE: yeah i know JADE: i guess i should be glad you did that then... JADE: even though i was freaking out when it happened ._. JADE: otherwise you wouldnt be here will us now dressed in your red god tier time pajamas DAVE: yeah these magical rags really are comfortable arent they DAVE: and they stay like perma clean JADE: they are! i would wear mine over and over for days on end JADE: id take a nice shower and put it right back on JADE: and you know how much i love cycling my outfits through my wardrobifier JADE: by the way dave your cape is sooo cool! :o DAVE: thanks DAVE: yeah i love it its hella soft DAVE: its like ive got a portable snuggle blanket with me in case i ever need to drop to the floor like a tired sack of shit and get my snooze on DAVE: ive got a permanent personal reservation at club bed featuring dj pillow and mc blanky JADE: heheheh JADE: can i touch your cape? DAVE: of course go nuts JADE: yaaaay!!
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psychelis-new · 11 months ago
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thank you very very very much for my reply snd so sorry for my very long ramble. I guess I dont know what else to do atp, I couldve done much more had I not felt the need to fit in like everyone else is currently doing even memes are less entertaining as well as a lot fo it relying so much on the internet i just want to escape all of this nonsense i really do. like just yeet me into space then if anything. i dont care anymore for my life really. ik im probs just making excuses or sounding dramatic but it seems many others at leasdt have talents or something that they care deeply about. i just seemed to have missed the chances and since we didnt have any of this stuff when i was a kid
I dont particularly care for wealth yet at the same time that too is everywhere so its like fomo and inability to simply be satisfied in anything i like or do bc someone else has more or better things they are doing and its so easy to fall into the trap of comparisons, like so and so is posting their whole life online or so and so is exceedingly popular online and irl. i dont know lets just simply say that i keep feeling lkke a nobody and all anyone else on here seems ro say manifest xyz things and how age is just a number without knowing peoples past experiences or lack thereof skills and so on. i just dont even know what i want anymore either. its like im just a soulless blob in a pile of other blobs and everyone else is blobbing about stuff i dont particularly care about online.
i regret being born in my generation, i really do, theres almost too much going on at once but itd all digitalised rather than in person. even celebs dont seem to realise their devices can have an off button maybe if they werent online so much others would be inspired to do that as well but even if you go out anywhere people on their phones or go to concert let say people on their phones again how else to gsin connection with others when its all done via a horrid little screen which i regret buying but once again it is much required in todays society. theres certain things i wouldve loved to have done in previous generations or maybe had i been a different person of a different nationality but i still wouldve had to adjust to needing to be online for the most part. even just typing shit into google feels so soulless like i havw a brain but i dont need to think or feel and i dont need opinions cause someone online will end up hating me for it so thats out the window
As I was suggesting you, you need a break and find yourself again. You're too focused on what others do, who they are, and compare yourself to something that doesn't even exist (online world is pretty much like movies these days) and try to act the same as them to fit in (no but fr, who cares what celebs do online or how long they are online? it's their life, let them do what the heck they want -plus, they're often a brand with legs, they're making money that way...). But anyway you cannot fit in something if you don't know who you are and what you're searching for and if you don't know where you want to fit in (and where you actually can fit in without losing yourself -which you probably already did, in order to not feel left out).
You are worthy, your life is very worthy, but your worth is not outside, your worth is inside of you. Same as your talents and whatever good you possess (and don't tell me you don't cause everyone does). You cannot find it online or in strangers online, and for sure you won't seeing if you keep comparing with others and what they seem to have... so stop trying to do so. If others have fun online and have found their own place there, let them. Who cares what they find of so cool there. But if you don't, then it's time for you to find what you find funny by taking a break. Put in effort (the one you were calling for so much in the other ask) and find in yourself and what you want and like. The only way to find your soul inside of your blob is to look in that blob that is you and finding your voice. You cannot let others tell you who you are: only you know.
But it's useless if I keep repeating myself and you can't see you are worthy and not caged (you know it but still, you cannot leave the comfort zone you have created: you feel like you won't ever fit in and you keep finding comfirmations of it out of any interactions you have online. If you don't work on how you see things and yourself, nothing will change for real). You can think with your mind, you can believe other things than what you're told by society or people that only want to sell a product/gain from what they do (I already answered an ask or two on this... were they yours?). You can do what you would have loved to do in any other time: it's not about this generation, it's about you and what you want... don't find excuses to keep yourself out of what you desire to do or how you desire to live. Don't blame it all on this society, where you live and the times we're living in. You still have a choice, you can act differently and who the heck should care about it? If it makes you happy, do it. But if it's really so, if you know you'd feel better out of it, it's not the internet the problem, it's you caging yourself in a cycle that doesn't even exist (but was well created to sell products again)...
For real, take a moment for yourself. Maybe journal about how you feel, what you want and what you're searching for and then go find it. It may take a while and some effort, but you will make it. Maybe your people aren't online but at the supermarket you usually visit, or at the library or they share any other interest with you offlline. Idk. If you need connections, first of all connect with yourself. Then, you'll be able to connect also with others the way you need.
Again all the best! I know you're now writing me cause I am making you feel less alone, but I am not the answer you're seeking. It's only within you.
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thepringlesofblood · 3 years ago
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just finished rogue protocol and i have several emotions for your consideration
1. martha? you didn’t need to do that. you know what I mean
2. the dynamic of mb bring presented with a good, wholesome aspect of humanity and going aaaahahsadagaa what is that???? is never going to get old
3. for once i am so glad tumblr warned me about a Certain Character Death bc i would have been inconsolable. I was damn nearly inconsolable anyway, but if that had come out of nowhere i wouldve been OUT. like in an ideal world I would’ve liked to be surprised but I got too much shit to do to take the requisite 3-5 business days to Mourn
4. Scientists Baffled By Secunit’s Insistence On Becoming A “Security Consultant” To Complete Strangers
except not ‘insistence’ bc in every internal narration it frames it as like ‘ugh that was stupid of me to say but I guess I just have to go along with it’ *commits to this fake job harder than any of the humans actually on it*
its like that ‘bet I can fit all these grapes in my mouth - NO ONE ASKED- god i can’t believe you guys are making me do this lol’ except Grumpy and Dystopian
5. seeing mb work as basically an independent Secunit is awesome bc like. it can do pretty much whatever it wants now since its not on contract, and its not pretending to be human, so just the raw unprocessed power of how good it is at security when left to its own devices is on full display. like it just keeps crankin out action-movie level stunts and being like ‘fuck i couldve done that better’
6. mb being surprised that in general, people trust each other in less corporate professional settings, is hilarious and heartbreaking. like it keeps going ‘huh there’s only like 2 cameras they don’t monitor personal stuff at all’ and i’m like yeah bud, it’s called basic privacy. someone needs to tell this dude that in general, people trust each other to not be plotting each other’s ultimate doom.
7. i. cant wait. for next book. need reunion. neeeeeeed.
8. this one was kind of a filler one for me. I mean meeting Miki and mb getting to see what just a happy, well-treated bot consciousness looks like was transcendent, but nothing can really compete with the introduction of ART as a character. It was great and I’m very psyched for the next one but I get a sense that I won’t be coming back to this one over and over like the first one.
9. i need the reasoning for these titles, wells. so far the only one I can figure out is Artificial Condition, bc of that quote Tapan says. All Systems Red is I guess kinda generically true in that everything goes wrong? but red isn’t like a big theme or anything? and I have no idea why this one is called Rogue Protocol. Any spoiler-free (for the rest of the series) explanations are welcome.
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leonardhoee · 5 years ago
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Why TROS (The Rise of Skywalker) is better than Endgame (AKA absolute trash)
SPOILER WARNING!!! SCROLL IF YOU HAVENT SEEN TROS
Ok so apparently there’s actually a debate about which is better. First of all. I acknowledge that TROS may not be the best Star Wars movie to ever come out but compared to the trash that endgame/Infinity War are it was 10000x better.
TROS did a pretty good job with character development. Even though I’m not happy that Ben died, he had a purpose. There was no other choice in that situation but to do what he did and his death was more bittersweet than acutely painful. They did a great job redeeming him and the moment he talked to Han Solo made me so emotional. 8.5/10. the ending was satisfying and it left room for fans to make their own headcannons about the future.
Just some of the best moments
Look at the difference from the beginning to the end. *chefs kiss
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Meanwhile...
Endgame and IW:
Carol?: reduced to a deus ex machina
Thor?: a fat joke; has no purpose for even being there anymore since anyone can use his hammer now
Steve?: threw away his entire new life to go back to the past with Peggy
Tony?: dead when it should've been nebula who killed thanos and his abusive dad got redemption
Natasha?: JUST found a family and redemption and happiness but she sacrificed herself for no reason
Wanda: had her trauma erased and basically made to not be taken seriously by the audience when thanos said he didn't even know who she is. And that’s exactly what happened.
Loki?: died for ABSOLUTELY no reason other than drama; undid his redemption arc
Gamora?: proved the trope that in the end you won't escape your abuser
Black panther/ wakanda?: reduced to ash in .5 seconds after they were supposed to be this great advanced nation
Banner?: basically useless bc he can't bring out the hulk. This couldve been their moment to truly show what BANNER can do but no. Apparently he's nothing without the hulk
And that’s just some of the characters they fucked up
1) The movie perpetuated a lot of misogynistic stereotypes (can’t expect anything better from the Russo’s), reducing most of the female characters to emotional wrecks (Wanda, nat), deus ex machinas that are shelved for most of the movie (carol) sacrificial lambs (gamora, nat), and plot devices for male characters (Peggy). And they think adding one “token feminist scene” is going to cover up their horrid treatment of the women in the rest of the movie
2) It supported basically most of the abusers in the MCU. Showing Gamora being sacrificed supported the trope that you can never escape your abuser. Loki being violently murdered for no reason showed that you can only find redemption in death (even though he was already redeemed). And tony easily forgiving Howard supports the idea that no matter how bad they are, you should forgive your abuser because they’re family.
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3) Thor was ridiculed throughout the movie, undoing everything Ragnarok did for his character development. It’s like that movie never even existed at this point. Instead of showing him healing from his trauma, his weight, mental health, and destructive coping mechanisms were made fun of by all the characters. Would tony stark ever actually mock Thor for alcoholism when he struggled with the same thing? Would Valkyrie seriously just leave him alone to drink and forget his pain when she went through the same thing?
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4) Another thing is Mjolnir. I get that steve was able to lift mjolnir in the comics. However what exactly makes him worthy in the MCU? We know that Hela and Odin were able to use mjolnir and there’s a pattern there. People who are blood related to Thor are worthy of wielding mjolnir. That’s why loki was never able to lift it. So why is steve Rogers, a human, able to use it. And with lighting powers on top of that. After the way Thor was treated in the movie (basically being useless until the fight at the end) what is the purpose in him even being there if now even humans are able to summon lighting like he can?? Lightning is something only Thor can do. Not even Odin can do it. It doesn’t make sense with the logic they’ve established in the MCU.
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5) Going back to loki. Ragnarok already finished his redemption arc. He was ready to go to earth with thor and the rest of the asgardians. He was finally being treated as an equal yet the Russo brothers decided to kill him pointlessly and violently before even the title credits. That’s just disrespectful they reduced him to a plot device for drama, to make thanos seem dangerous. Now, Looking at the scene. Thanos was literally ready to let him go. He did not need to die. Loki had to have known that attempt to kill him wouldn’t have worked after being tortured by thanos for so long. He can’t be killed by a dagger. Loki isn’t that dumb. And he’s not that selfless. He wouldn’t sacrifice himself for no reason especially when he could’ve walked away unscathed. His death scenes was one of the most unnecessary, gruesome, graphic deaths I’ve ever seen from marvel. It made me feel sick. The sound of his bone snapping seeing the blood running down his eyes was it. They could’ve done so much with this character but they chose to do this instead. Hopefully the Disney + show fixes his character arc.
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Overall, my expectations were low for both movies. But endgame was the biggest disappointment to the marvel franchise I’ve ever seen. TROS was truthfully very satisfying and did everything endgame wishes it did.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk. I hope the sun will shine on us again.
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aliyzacinn · 5 years ago
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Good people still exist
Okay so my step dad and I went to Walmart cause we were bored and needed some things around the house we were like ‘why not?’
Anyways, we get to Walmart and anyone who knows me knows that I either go straight to either the electronic section or the books section. The books were a few isles down from the electronic section so I decided to go there first.
By this point my step dad was off doing his own thing, we’d meet up when either I or he calls. Keep in mind I’m 17, it’s not really weird for a 17 year old to be out by themselves.
So I’m in the isles, playing with the phones, wishing I was married to or daughter to billionaires as to buy all the unnecessary shit I don’t need but really w a n t , when I get the feeling that somebody was watching me. I look around real quickly to see this dude, around 30-35 at least, staring right at me, like he wasn’t even trying to be subtle or anything. I awkwardly smile at him, cause yea, I know sometimes people randomly blank out and their staring right at someone when they do it so it seems like their staring straight at you. I know, I’ve done it.
So I went back to finishing up this stupid drawing I was making in the phone and still, after while, I feel that feeling of being watched, but this time it’s overwhelming. I looked up again and see the guy again, except he was two isles closer. This time he wasn’t staring right at me, but at the device infront of him. So really I didn’t pay him much mind, but I did move towards the TVs, I didn’t get a bad feeling again, but I decided to go check something else out before I moved onto any other section of the store.
I moved further into the electronic section to go look at the games and speakers. They were on this big wall with posters of new games and release dates for things I couldn’t have nor play. I was look down at some games when I got the same feeling of being watched. Once again I looked up and saw the man. This time closer than ever, just at the other end of the isle. And once again, he wasn’t even trying to hide his staring. He smiled at me when he saw me looking and, not to sound dramatic or anything, it was the creepiest shit I have ever seen in my life.
I’m not stupid, I’ve seen enough shows and read enough books to understand that when you get a feeling like somethings wrong you should probably fucking listen to it.
So I left the isle I was in and decided to make my way over to the book isle. Now the book isle was in the ‘back back’ of the store and it was pretty sucluded, cause let’s face it, not a myriad of people are dying to get their hands on a book. It was about 12 or so isle down from where I was. I enjoyed the walk back there, as the further I went the less noise there was. Now that’s not to say there wasn’t people back there, there was, just not as many as the clothing, food or even the toy sections.
There was about 10 or 11 people, including a family of four. The mother was an Arab women, absolutely beautiful if I do say so myself, and she must’ve been of Spanish descent or at least grew up around Hispanics or went to an impeccable Spanish teaching class, cause her Spanish was incredible. Her husband was Hispanic, and from the way he spoke it he was must’ve been Colombian. They had two children, a boy and a girl. The girl, who was 6, was sitting in the cart and the little boy, who was 10, was standing on the cart leaning foward talking to his sister. I didn’t pay them much mind and went on to the chapter books, which was in the last isle, infront of them.
I had picked up a PJO book, one of my favorite series, and I must’ve been there for about 5 minutes when again my senses were telling me that something was wrong, wrong, wrong, danger, run,run,ruN,RUN.
But I guess I took to long because as soon as I turned to just leave the guy that’s been following me for the past 40 minutes has just swung into the isle with another big ass man.
They acted as if they didn’t see me and I discretely moved into the opening that lead into the isle behind the one I was just in. The family of four was only a few feet ahead of me and by now I was really freaked out, so I did the only thing I could think of, I walk up to them and said really loudly “Hey, Mom, do you think I can get this book?”
At first the couple looked at me confused for a few second before the woman got it, her husband was about to say something when she put a hand on his arm and answered back “Of course you can baby, is it a series? And is it still around here?” I nodded and she turned back to her husband with a look. He seemed to understand because he grabbed his son and the cart and moved to leave. The woman grabbed my hand and we left the isle towards the front of the store.
I don’t know what happened to the two men following me, but the family stayed with me until I found my stepfather again. After explaining to my stepfather what happened and thanking the family profusely as well as gaining their number with promises of staying in contact, we left the store.
This shit fucked me up the whole way home. It didn’t really hit me until I was in the car that like something COULDVE HAPPENED
Like I don’t know why this man was following me and I don’t know why he took such an interest. I’m not the prettiest or skinniest person. I’ve also been told I have an intimidating look constantly on my face that basically screams ‘leave me alone’
All I can say that to the family that helped me and played along despite them not knowing what I was running from, thank you. You didn’t know me and I didn’t know you, but you saw a scared person and decided to help me despite the fact that you had children and whatever I couldn’t been scared of could’ve hurt them as well.
I’m writing this cause we hear all these stories of how horrible people are and I just wanted to share a good story for once.
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halalhyungwon · 6 years ago
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mike was being a little shit and literally laughing in the face of someone that was talking to him and that irked me a Lot like someone is trying to have an honest conversation with you and your response is making fun of them? smh. i've noticed that about a lot of dramas? that the plot is really good and then the end does not live up to the expectations, that happened to me with memories of the alhambra, i was so dissapointed. and i saw the gif!! died with it lmao - 💎
i saw the mission i forgot to say it in the last ask! but if you wanna do it do whichever concept you want! and of course don't feel pressured to do it because i for sure don't have any idea what i could do LMAO - 💎
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oh okay yeah i can understand why that would irk you that's super disrespectful yeck 🤕
yeah like I dont wanna say the ending seemed rushed but it's like? they tried to show the resolution to so many things in just one episode and idk,, I feel like they couldve done more. and omg memories of alhambra!! ugh i didnt hate the ending but I didnt like it idk like are they making another season?? bc the way it ended just didnt feel like a proper ending if that makes sense??
Haha ok at least choose a music video and I'll try to make something off of that! bc otherwise I'll be totally clueless if left to my own device 😂
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the-marvel-imagines-blog · 6 years ago
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Madness | Chpt. 6
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Requests are Open
Chapter Title: “Collateral Damage”
Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character
Word Count: 4,786
Warnings: hurt/no comfort, Angry!Eva, violence, Angry!Loki
Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”
A/N: I want to take a moment to apologize for my absence. I’ve had some health problems recently, and within the last couple of weeks, I’ve lost entire days thanks to said problems. I’m finally feeling well enough again to post, but during my time being sick, I’ve managed to come up with quite a bit of content. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying what I’m writing. Even if not every chapter is you cup of tea, it means a lot to see that people are leaving likes, messaging me, reblogging, etc.! Please note that I have taken and will be taking a lot of creative liberties pertaining to these characters. This will be shown in excess during the upcoming chapters, so I just wanted to give a bit of a warning. There are some timeline changes, character changes, etc. Once again, thank you so much for reading. I love you all <3
Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)
“Looks like you lost,” I dictated as I dragged him down the stairs to the dungeons. My entire body felt like it was on fire, but it didn’t stop the shiver from running down my spine at the thought of what he was capable of. Ezra showed us something none of us could’ve expected. He was skilled in ways that we were unprepared for, ways I didn’t even know could exist. I still trembled at the thought of my slain comrades-members of Odin’s kingsguard-rising and fighting against us. The more people of ours Ezra killed, the more people he had fighting for him. The battle was unfair and horrific, but we still won even after members of the kingsguard forced Odin away from the situation. Ezra had surrendered after we had gotten him onto his knees. My sword had been pressed against his throat, and all I needed to do was give it one swift motion to kill him. I couldn’t, though.
There was something that kept me from killing him, but I had no idea what it was. Maybe it was the familiarity in those green eyes or the endless knowledge he seemed to have about me. Still, my decision to keep him alive could be useful in the future of Asgard. He was another enemy who would be a prisoner in the dungeons, a man we could retrieve information from. He snickered at me, “you may have won, but what did it cost you?” he asked, glancing down at the wound on my abdomen.
I ignored his comment, feeling the pain radiating from the wound. During the battle, he had taken a swing at Ephinea, a blow I did my best to protect her from. I had pushed her back and tried to put as much distance between him and I as possible, but it wasn’t enough. My sword blocked his axe, and while I struggled to disarm him, I was unaware of the dagger he pulled out until he buried it in my abdomen. The dagger cut right through my training armor-which had not been suitable for battle-and pierced into my flesh. I had not yet seen it, but a piece of me was convinced it was nothing while the rational part of myself was sure it was something much more than I was prepared to deal with. If I could still walk, I was fine.
Behind Ezra and I were the remaining members of the kingsguard who did not sustain significant injuries as well along with Ephinea, Sif, and the warriors three. Thor had taken to the throne room with his father to discuss what would come next. Everyone in the dungeons was silent when they saw the crowd of warriors that it took to secure the newest prisoner. They watched us in a stunned silence, including Loki. I avoided all eye contact with the God of Mischief, still hurt by his actions an entire week ago. While I wished for an empty cell anywhere else in the dungeons, the only free one was directly across from Loki’s, which would undoubtedly cause me to worry much more than I should have. The cells were practically impenetrable, and even if Ezra managed to break free of his cell, there would be no real reason for him to go after Loki.
As we stood in front of his cell, he turned to face me as I spoke, “this is gonna be your new home. I don’t know where you came from or what you knew before this, but you won’t be going back there anytime soon. You said you haven’t seen a sunrise for more than 300 years?” I asked, and he nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips in anticipation for what I was about to say, “well, be prepared to wait another 300 because you aren’t getting out of here for a long time,” I growled, glaring up at him and his apathetic expression. It was as if he had no remorse at all for the lives he had taken, like the entire battle before this meant nothing to him. His reaction was sickening.
He cocked one of his thick eyebrows, “you have a fire within you that you try to ignore, pet, but you can’t hide it from me,” he replied before lunging forward and attacking my lips with his. It shocked me at first, but I leaned into it after a moment, realizing that I could use it to my advantage. Everyone around us who was there to ensure his safe transportation to his cell was left in shock, but they always knew that I had a plan. My lips molded together with his thick ones, and while I was disgusted to be kissing the man who just killed so many of my people, I knew that this was going to work out in my favor. While Ezra was distracted by the kiss, I eased one of my daggers from its sheath at my side and reached behind him before sinking it into his lower back.
He sucked in a sharp breath, disconnecting our lips. His face distorted in pain, and his chest rumbled as I pulled the dagger from his body, twisting it in the process. Once it was out, I dropped it on the ground behind him and reached into the small pouch on my belt to pull out one of the tracking devices I always carried with me. In one swift motion, I shoved two of my fingers into the wound to deposit the tracking device as deeply as possible. He grunted and twisted to break free of my grasp, but I would not release him. I released the tracking device once I was sure it was embedded deep enough that he could not feel it and dig it out on his own. When I finally removed my fingers, I rested my hand against his wound and focused all of my energy on transferring it over to myself. That was the one downfall of my healing power. I was unable to heal someone without transferring their wounds onto myself. While he was not worthy of my help, I couldn’t leave the wound open for fear that he would just pull the device out. Now, it he wanted to take it out, he would have to cut himself open and dig for it.
As the wound transferred to myself, I gritted my teeth, but nothing could compare to the wound on my abdomen. It was like if one had been stabbed by Surtur himself, a scraped knee could never compare to it, so the pain was far more tolerable. Once I finished healing his wound, I glared up at him, “you’re going to have a lot of time to think while you’re down here, and that’s all you get to do. If you move, I’ll know about it. If you speak, I’ll know about it. If you have any thoughts about breaking out of your cell, I will know about it. I didn’t kill you today because I believe in second chances. If you fail to cooperate or if you become a threat to anyone I know or love, I will not hesitate to kill you,” I growled at him.
He nodded his head, “my execution would be against the Allfather’s wishes. It’s a beautiful sentiment-it truly is-but...tell me, pet, how will you protect the two people you love most when one is here and one is on Midgard?” he asked, referencing her once more.
My eyes widened, and he smirked at the look of dread that was clear on my face. I saw my reflection in his eyes and saw a girl who had everything to lose, someone who had lost so much already. As my protective instincts kicked in, I grew furious that he even put their safety in question. I pulled my fist back and landed a hard punch against his cheek. When his head snapped to the side to accommodate the blow, I swiped his feet out from under him to bring him down to the ground. As he caught himself on his knees, I pulled out my other dagger and pressed it against his throat with one hand while I grabbed a fistful of his hair with the other. I squatted down to be at his level, “say it again,” I growled.
He smirked, “and what if I did? What if I threatened them again?” he asked, challenging me, “would you kill me, an unarmed man on his knees? Would you take my life the same way your enemies took your friends life on Vanaheim? You and I both know that you don’t have what it takes,” he hissed, bringing up Hjalmar. My chest tightened, “the only way to save the ones you love so dearly is to accept your destiny, to accept what you’re truly meant to be.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, “and what is that?”
“A god,” he answered with a smile as he leaned into my blade against his throat, “just like me.”
I shook my head, my entire body trembling as anger and rage built up in my chest, “I am nothing like you,” I growled, furious that he would even try to compare the two of us. He fought and killed so many of my people and raised them back to be monsters. What was it for? I only fought when it needed to be done. I didn’t seek out confrontation. I fought, and even killed, the few who put the lives of the many at stake, and it always sat with me. The eyes of my victims never left my mind, for I was aware that I had taken someone’s loved one away from them. Ezra showed in the short time I knew him that he was nothing like that. He killed without remorse, and I saw no conflict in his eyes once it was over. We were nothing alike.
He chuckled, “that’s where you’re wrong, pet. You and I are more alike than you know, and that’s how I know, without the shadow of a doubt, that you’ll lose both of them in time,” he said, and my heart felt like it would fall through the floor. How did he know all of my deepest and darkest fears? That was always the one thing that scared me the most: losing the ones I loved. Of course, it was the fear of so many people, but he was able to pull up the two people I cared for more than anything else and use their safety against me, “it’s in your nature. You’ll always lose,” he added.
My chest rose and fell as I struggled to find air. It felt like his threats were taking the air from my lungs, and I felt like I would suffocate. I saw how big a threat he was, but we managed to bring him down together. I didn’t want to imagine what Cul’s entire army could do. Everything had been thrown at us so quickly, as we had no knowledge of who Cul was or that Odin even had an older brother at all. Everything that happened that day just made me feel uncertain of everything. Still, I couldn’t show Ezra that, “and what about you? You’re the man who kneels before me with my dagger against his throat. You lost,” I hissed.
“You’ll need me soon enough,” he remarked, gesturing down to the stab wound on my abdomen that throbbed with a pain I never experienced before. The wound hurt badly enough that it felt like I would be sick from the pain. I had been stabbed before, and the wounds never felt quite like that. Perhaps, it had just been too long, and I forgot the sensation. I shook the thoughts from my mind and focused on him once more as he continued, “and the moment you come to me, begging for my help, is the moment when you’ll finally realize that you are the one who has lost,” he sneered, his eyes cutting right through me. It was like he could see every weakness and insecurity I had.
“If you or anyone else tries hurt the people I care for, you won’t be able to find shelter from the storm I unleash. You don’t want to make me an enemy,” I threatened him.
He shook his head as if he was disappointed in me, and I furrowed my eyebrows. When his eyes finally met mine once more, he snickered to himself, “you speak like a warrior, but there is no true weight in your words. I know-as well as you do-that you would never pose a threat to the one thing you believe in more than anything else: Life. That’s why I know you won’t kill me. I’m not afraid of you,” he stated, nonchalantly as he leaned into the blade, hard enough to draw blood.
I stood up, sheathing my dagger, before pulling him up onto his feet. He stood much taller than me, but I didn’t feel small in that moment. Even though I was insecure about what would come next, I couldn’t show my fears to the man who was threatening the lives of the people I loved. I needed to be strong, or he would take advantage of my weaknesses. I grabbed a fistfull of his hair and pulled his head down to mine, maintaining eye contact the entire time, “you aren’t afraid of me,” I hissed before leaning in to his ear, “but you should be,” I whispered the line I had been told only once before. It had shaken me to the very core when it was said to me, but I felt powerful now that I was on the other end. My voice was low enough so that only he could hear me, and once I finished, I pulled away from him and shoved him into his cell. Ephinea activated the cell wall before he was even able to regain his balance. I couldn’t help the smile as I watched him struggle to not fall onto his face, but the sharp pain in my abdomen cut that short.
Not wanting to waste anymore time on him, I turned to face the members of the Kingsguard. They were some of the most well-trained warriors Asgard had to offer, so much so that they were trusted with protecting the Allfather himself. The kingsguard lined the halls of the palace at all times of the day and night, and they stood guard over the dungeons as well. I picked up my blood-covered dagger that I had dropped on the floor moments prior and lowered it back into its sheath. I pointed over at Ezra but stayed focused on the warriors before me, “I want two guards posted outside his cell every second of every day. I never want him left unsupervised, and if he is, you’re going to wish that you experienced the Allfather’s wrath instead of mine,” I threatened, feeling my unchecked fury rising further and further in my chest. I surprised myself at the harsh tone of my voice, but I didn’t change it, “if he shows any signs of agitation, I want to know about it. If he takes one step out of line, I want to know about it. If he breathes offbeat, I want to know about it. I want every detail of his existence to be monitored while he’s down here. I want nothing to go unnoticed. If he speaks out of line, I want to know what he said and when he said it. Do you understand?”
I saw the startled expression on every face of the men before me. I had always been known for my calm and collected nature, and the only time I ever broke away from that was when I was in battle. Even then, I had never been so ruthless, especially never with them. They all nodded in agreement to my orders, but one of the guards stepped forward, his eyes just as confused as the rest, “I mean you no offense when I ask this, but...what would you do about it, my lady?”
As I brushed past all of them, needing to take my place with Thor and Odin to discuss our next moves, I answered his question, “I’ll kill him.”
Before I could make it very far at all, Ezra yelled after me, “good luck, pet. I take pity on you for what is about to come,” he shouted, that booming voice echoing throughout the silent dungeons. It was as if every prisoner stood completely still as I walked by-all but one. As I walked past Loki’s cell, I stared straight ahead, refusing to even look his way, still hurt by what transpired between us a week prior. It broke my heart to ignore him that way, but I had to focus on the safety of the Nine Realms. A piece of it was also to protect him. If there was a chance I could convince Ezra that I no longer cared for Loki, that Loki wasn’t a weakness of mine that he could exploit, I was going to take it. It was the best way to protect Loki at that point.
As I walked past his cell, he banged on the wall, yelling my name and trying to attract my attention, but I still didn’t give in. I blinked away the tears in my eyes, my heart shattering as I had to look the other way once more. I did that before, and I couldn’t believe I was doing it again. I was still hurt and angry at him for what he said when I visited him that night, but I could never stay mad at him for too long, not over trivial things like that. Even as I ascended the stairs, I could still hear his pained voice calling my name. My ears began ringing, and the world around me seemed unsteady. When I reached the last few stairs, the wound on my abdomen sent a piercing pain through my entire body, and I jolted forward to accommodate the sudden and intense pain. If Loki had seen me fall as I had in that moment, he would’ve laughed at me before falling down with me, not wanting me to feel isolation and embarrassment. I coughed, and the fleeting thoughts of my love were pushed to the side as I tasted the blood in my mouth. I swallowed it back just as the guards ran over to me to help me up, just like Loki would have done.
*Loki’s POV*
I felt the immeasurable pain that she was experiencing, and I couldn’t help but feel like there was something seriously wrong. That was one of the things that never stopped for me, no matter how deep my madness became. She was still there, an untouched and untainted beauty among the raging wildfire that was my mind. I could always feel her pain, her suffering, her joy, and her love. I could feel every emotion and every ounce of physical pain, which Thanos used to his advantage. While it killed me inside to know that she was hurting, it let me know that she was still alive, wherever she was. This sensation was something new, though. I could barely stand due to the pain in my abdomen. Even when she had transferred his wound onto herself, it couldn’t hold a candle to the pain I began experiencing no long before.
Everyone began filing out of the dungeons aside from the two guards Eva demanded always stand watch over the new prisoner. I had never seen Eva deal with anyone quite like that, but he must’ve made her feel something otherworldly to pull out that side of her. Watching it was exhilarating in a way that I never would’ve expected. I could feel the anger and pain coursing through her veins every moment she stood before him, but I could also feel her conflict. When he mentioned two people-one here and one on Midgard-I found myself trying to piece together who it could be. Perhaps he was speaking about Aaldir or Thor. I was certain she cared little for me after what I did the last time we saw each other. The unnamed person on Earth was what I tried to piece together first, though. Was it Tony Stark? I noticed that the two of them had quite the connection when I was around them on Midgard. What if it was the Soldier? The two of them shared similar beliefs, and he had protected her from near death quite a few times.
When another piercing pain erupted in my abdomen, I gritted my teeth and grunted, reaching for the tender spot. As I tried to breathe through the pain, I heard his laughter from the cell diagonal to mine, “you must be Loki!” he smiled, amused at my pain. I knew that madness well, well enough to know that it was not all his own. Someone had taken advantage of a weakness and used it against him. A small part of me felt empathy for him, but I couldn’t help but think of how he must’ve hurt Eva. As I glared up at him, he cocked his head to the side, “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m a pretty big fan because of what you did on Midgard-you know, attempting to kill everyone who wouldn’t blindly follow your rule. I have to say that it was a bold move for the unloved son of a false king,” he barked before taking a deep breath and calming his nerves, “I’m Ezra Culson, the new bane of Eva’s existence. You’ve been replaced.”
“What did you do to her?” I yelled, anxious to know what had transpired to bring about a pain like this. Before Ezra pointed out the wound on her abdomen, it was barely noticeable, especially since she showed little signs of discomfort while she was in the dungeons. Still, shortly before she came down to the dungeons, I had felt the intense pain, and I knew she had been stabbed. This sensation, however, was so different than before. When we were on Midgard, I...she had been stabbed. That was nothing like this. I grunted as I stood up straight, trying to ignore the burning sensation.
Ezra shook his head, a hint of guilt in his eyes that didn’t seem completely genuine, “I didn’t come here to fight-not today, anyway-but when Odin refused to my terms and your brother refused my offer to take Eva off your hands, I had no choice. She got in the way,” he said, nonchalantly as he shrugged it off like it was nothing. Even the guards outside of his cell were disturbed. Everyone in Asgard knew Eva, and everyone knew that she was the embodiment of all that was good and light in this world. Ezra acted as if his action of attacking her was nothing serious, like attacking her wasn’t like he was attacking the very fabric of life itself. During my stunned silence, he continued to speak, “let’s just say that you’re not the only one who has it out for Odin.”
“I couldn’t care less about him. You hurt her!” I snapped, slamming my fist against the cell wall and startling the guards and the other prisoners within the dungeons. Ezra would have a hard time in the dungeons because no matter how much the other prisoners hated Odin and Asgard, they could not bring themselves to even speak unkindly of Eva. The longer the prisoners stayed in the dungeons, the more they grew accustomed to her singing, and because Eva showed the planet so much love and kindness, everyone who resided here could feel her energy coursing through them. Her connection to the world and life was incredible. As my chest tightened, I glared at him, “you hurt her, and I’m going to kill you for that,” I growled in a low voice.
He shrugged it off again, “collateral damage,” he remarked, “it’s nothing that can’t be undone. When she gives in and leaves with me, which she will, I’ll heal her, and we’ll be on our way.”
“She’s not going anywhere with you!” I yelled once more, realizing that he was doing exactly what he wanted to do, and I was allowing it to happen. He was crawling right under my skin, and I couldn’t stop it. It was like Thanos all over again. Ezra just knew my weakness, and he was going to exploit it. He would try to break me, but I wouldn’t lose Eva again, and that was what kept me from falling back into the comfort of my own darkness.
He chuckled, “I have a better claim to her even as an outsider, or did you forget?” he asked, and my eyes widened as it felt like my chest would completely cave in. He couldn’t have been referencing that moment, but it wouldn’t surprise me with all that he knew about Eva and myself. A part of me wished to know where he acquired this information, but the part that took hold of me in that moment was still the nervous and insecure man I was before I fell from the Bifrost, before I pushed Eva out of my life, before I realized that I would never truly be my father’s son. I could still remember Odin’s words as if our conversation was happening that very moment:
“A girl who could pass as a princess even without a prince would be better suited for Thor, and I will not entertain these childish games any longer!”
It was the first moment in my life that I felt utterly hopeless. All that I had done up until that moment seemed like it was in vain. I had loved Eva, and she loved me. When she forced me to relive that memory in the dream, I couldn’t help but associate it with the conversation that followed with my father. He had been the one to pull me from our beautiful moment, our last beautiful moment. Our conversation was meant to open the doors for millions of other beautiful moments, but he slammed those doors in my face, telling me that I would never be worthy enough for Eva, that she was being saved for Thor. It was the beginning of my downfall, and she was the one who was hurt most from it.
While my chest heaved, I imagined ripping his tongue from his throat. I imagined slitting his throat open while he spoke of how Eva was nothing more than “collateral damage.” I imagined his blood on my hands as I tore him apart for what he did to her and for what he tried to do to me. I knew that all he had to do was exploit my weakness, and he would be able to turn me against her. Something in me was broken, and he wanted to toy around with it, “speak one more word, and you’ll wish for death when you see what I do to you,” I threatened, narrowing my eyes at him and realizing just how familiar they looked, like I had seen them a thousand times before. Green...like the color of spring.
He chuckled, sitting on the floor and tucking his legs under himself. It seemed as if he would let my comment roll off his back, but that was the opposite of what he did. Instead, he brought up the one thing I cared about more than anything else. Eva. He grinned, madness in his eyes, “threaten me again, and you’ll wish for death when you see what I do to her.”
Without warning, my mind felt like it was being torn apart, like the broken edges were being chipped away at. As I fell to the floor in a massive pain radiating from the ghost wound on my abdomen and the sudden and intense pain in my own mind, I gritted my teeth and groaned loudly. I could remember her eyes that day, the day I hurt her more than I could ever forgive myself for. I had expected her to look at me like I was a monster, like I was her enemy. However, she didn’t. She spoke my name with fear in her eyes and sorrow in her voice. It was my first moment of clarity in so long, but it was also my greatest moment of weakness and tragedy because I hurt the one thing I wished to protect: my friend, my princess, my love.
My Eva.
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