#you could support out queer artists but nope you had to put all your hopes and dreams on taylor freaking swift being secretly gay

[lecoindecachou]

i’m looking at all the gaylor reactions rn with an absolutely vile amount of schadenfreude.

[antagonizedjordan]

My Issue with ONE Aspect of the New Community Guidelines

I have so many thoughts.  Too many.  This is such a sad moment for the community as a whole, no matter how you identify or how you used Tumblr.

I could talk about all the reasons this has ended up targeting specific groups of people and completely removed a safe space for those working through their own self discovery (and finding support via representation and community), and I will - 

But for now, because there is just so fucking much here (so much sadness and hate), I want to start by addressing what this adult content ban has done for social progress and sexism via censorship.  

“The woman’s naked body was no longer reserved to pornography, but the body was a source of pride and of health. The body was to be celebrated and to be enjoyed” – Catharine Stimpson

Tumblr: Yeah, nope!  It’s all pornography, women can’t show nipples (duh), and queer expression, trans pride and the self confidence to post self images, social protest for female empowerment - yeah, it’s all gone. It’s all shameful nudity and there’s no place for that sort of unsavoriness here in our world. Hmph.  Problem solved. 

I’m just amazed.  Horrified.  

I don’t believe that nudity undermines feminist causes or somehow erases their words.  I think censorship targeting women of all walks of life is a problem, and I have ongoing projects exploring why on my website, www.nudityandfeminism.com 

I have two blog posts associated with galleries that discuss what nudity (”adult content”) did for me personally, and I want to share them here.  Unfortunately, I cannot post the associated photos.  The healing for myself and others, as well as the impact these artworks can have, is so greatly diminished by this ban.  And my galleries are somehow shameful now, undeserving of a spot within Tumblr’s artistic atmosphere.  

I’m disappointed.  I’m worried for those who are still in the dark looking for the light that is representation, particularly in the queer community and for minorities.  This was such a wonderful haven.  To those of you who lost your only space, I am so deeply sorry and am furious on your behalf.  For those of you who lost one space of many where you could explore, express, discuss, and find inspiration and support, I’m also sorry and furious.  

Here are the blog posts - without the pictures.  I don’t think this will prove a point to a Tumblr official with the power to undo this ban, but I hope it adds to the growing collection of arguments working to articulate why this adult content ban was truly a slam on the LGBTQIA+ community and representation for minorities.

Here’s to hoping for a better future: 

https://www.nudityandfeminism.com/blog/2019/1/20/self-portraits-in-2018

Self Portraits in 2018

“The woman’s naked body was no longer reserved to pornography, but the body was a source of pride and of health. The body was to be celebrated and to be enjoyed” – Catharine Stimpson

I suffered from an eating disorder all through college. 

It spiraled into the unhealthiest of habits and mindsets, reaching its worst when my professional modeling was at its peak.  The toxicity of the industry perpetuated everything that was wrong with my physical and mental health, and I was consistently praised for actions that were literally killing me.

That was 2014: My sophomore and junior years of college and the years my family were in constant fear I would one day not wake up.

I graduated in three years (barely) from UC Berkeley with a double major in Dance and Performance Studies and Anthropology with a specialization in forensics.  I also worked full time as a dancer in San Francisco with various dance companies and modeled with whatever time I had remaining in my schedule.  When I finally graduated, I was sick, physically injured, unable to dance full time, and overwhelmed with depression and anxiety. 

I moved away right after graduation, ending all of my company contracts and disappearing from the public eye.  I moved to South Korea with my husband and lived out the worst breakdown of my life – a breakdown that resulted in a year’s worth of recovery. I am still in recovery and feel the remnants of that chapter today, healthy and happy as I am.

It took an unbelievable amount of patience, love, forgiveness, and strength to get back up on my feet and reclaim my life by reclaiming and prioritizing my physical and mental health.  I aim to one day write more on my journey and how I found my way back to health in hopes of lighting a path for others in need of help.  For now, I offer inspiration via the art that has come out of my commitment to recovery, and I grant myself the opportunity to heal even more by showing vulnerability in creating and presenting this series of self-portraits.

These photos were taken at the end of 2018.

I am healthy and happy, able to fully engage my community and actively pursue all my creative endeavors, including dance. 

I am proud of my body and I am proud of where I am in my physical health as well as my emotional stability.  I am proud to capture my body and expression through my own lens and present these photos to all of you.   

https://www.nudityandfeminism.com/ajbykk/

When I first moved to Texas I was going through an exceptionally hard time.  I had been dealing with the emotional turmoil from a sexual assault I had kept to myself, and the months leading up to this shoot had been void of any creative expression or artistic creation. My naked body was an enemy and reminder.  All my drive to move forward with my art was dead gone.

This shoot marked a turning point for me in the healing process and was the necessary first step to regaining my confidence, sense of security, inspiration, and freedom in my own skin - covered and revealed.  

Kelly Kmiecik captured what I know to be my raw beauty, and through these photos I can see the burden and weight of past troubles being cleansed away both by the water and the trust I put into Kelly and her lens.

This was me reclaiming my body.  I wanted to be seen in all my scars and contours and I chose to show everything I am to tell my story and assert power over my own representation.  Power over my own story.  To those who say nudity undermines women in their feminist activism, I offer this gallery and my story as a counterargument to show it is more than necessary.  May your body be yours to fearlessly say what you need to say.

[myheartsoarsforyou]

The gay asks, as many as you feel like doing. Starting at 1 stop when you feel like it

Oh, you don’t know what you’ve signed up for. I’ll put it under a readmore, lol. 

Just to note: Probably going to do most, if not all of them, so there you go. :)

how tall are you? 5′6″

what is your body type? Chubby, but curves are still there.

what is your favorite part about your body? Ehh, I don’t really like any part. My eyes, I guess?

is your current hair color your natural hair color? For now, but as soon as I’m able to get to my salon I’m dyeing it

are you more outgoing or more shy? Depends on the setting but for the most part definitely shy

are you more femme or butch? Femme I guess? I dunno, I’d argue probably somewhere in-between but leaning towards femme. 

are you tol or smol? Height wise? I guess kinda tol? Iunno I don’t think I’m either but hey! lol

wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt, but I don’t drink much anymore.

weird habit? Uhh idk?

favorite meme? Don’t talk me i angy

do you sing in the shower? Oh yes, especially if I have music going lol

ever used a bow and arrow? Not yet!

are/were you a theatre kid? Nope, 

have you ever seen a broadway musical? Not in person? 

do you think musicals are cheesy? Probably but that’s half the fun.

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? I wish, especially right now, but I would probably break down around that many people. I support as much as I can.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? I don’t think I have a favorite?

last movie you watched? Silent Hill: Revelations

behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, 100%. I hate having my picture taken. i’ll make exceptions, but. 

favorite tv show? Mmmh... it used to be Supernatural but I don’t really watch TV. Maybe ATLA? I’m rewatching/finishing that sporadically.

meaning behind your url He makes my heart soar higher than ever.

reason you joined tumblr A looong time ago, because of SPN. 

who’s your closest tumblr friend? I don’t really talk to people on tumblr ?? I’m just kinda... here

what’s something most people love that you hate? Iunno o.o

have you ever taken narcotics? Technically yes I have

have you had sex? Mhmm

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Err, yeah. I got caught with a ‘friend’ of mine when I was younger. Woops.

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? I don’t remember any? I don’t know. 

describe your passion without mentioning it. Escape, building something completely new with friends, making friends within a universe you help shape, seeing and doing more fantastiscal things than could be done in real life. 

describe your best friend. I have two people I consider best friends. An artist, an activist, passionate about her work, heartfelt and exciteable. Another artist, unsure of his work but talented none the less, overly critical of himself. 

give us one thing about you that no one knows. I don’t think there’s much if anything that my bf doesn’t know about me?

how do you feel right now? my tummy hurts

what is your biggest fear? Losing him. 

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Love Me - NU’EST

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Definitely sticking it out and staying close to my bf before we got together and persuing things when the opportunity arose. 

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? Very often in my life rn tbh

something you fantasize about. Living with my love in a 3 bedroom house with our little domestic zoo and being happy. 

last time you cried and why Saturday, multiple times. It was a rough day and was thinking a lot about my cousin (long story short he’s no longer around)

what was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably my boyfriend. 

do you really, truly miss someone right now? I miss my bf because I haven’t seen him irl in two years and it kills me. 

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Bf

the last time you felt broken? Saturday again because of the aforementioned. 

are you starting to realize anything? That I will put up with a lot if I feel like I have to to see him. 

are you more dominant or more submissive? Definitely submissive, but I have my moments. 

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) Mmm, I don’t really have strict qualifications. Treat me well, tell me if something’s up, and just love me. But I have that right now, so I guess the strict qualification is if he agrees & We’re good to be a polycule. 

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I used to say strictly older, but honestly AS LONG AS it’s legal and moral either or. Bf’s two years younger than me and more mature than anyone older than me that I’ve been with so lol. 

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. My height, great eyes, gorgeous to me, dyed-red hair, avid gamer, tattoo enthusiast. He’s passionate regardless of how he sees it, and he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love every part of him and I will even if things change. 

do you have any kinks? Many. Lol. 

first thing you notice in a person? Depends, sometimes eyes, sometimes voice, sometimes approachability lol.

how can someone win your heart? You’d have to ask my bf

been rejected by a crush? Yep! 

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Oh yes lol

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Actual texts? No. But if discord messages count - yes. lol

is trust a big issue for you? Yes

did you hang out with the person you like recently? Yes

is confidence cute? It can be, but there’s a fine line between it and arrogance. 

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? It depends entirely on the situation. Did we agree on a romantic/sexual third? Sure. If not I’d probably be pretty upset. 

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Probably not. 

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? I should DEFINITELY hope so lmao

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I’ve been in high school. 

do you want to get married I do, though I never thought I’d be able to say that

worst thing you’ve ever done? Probably cheating on someone I cared about with someone I should’ve never involved myself with. 

three things that turn you on. Biting, neck kisses, making out. 

who do you hate? Eh, my boss rn.

favorite term of endearment? My bf calls me kitten c: 

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Probably Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer 

intimidating girls or kind girls? Why not both?

what do you look for in a possible partner? If we’d work well together lol, it all depends. 

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? Err, a little of all? I tend to go for masc in general, but I am definitely interested in all of the above. 

are you good at flirting? Not...really lol

who was the first person you came out to? My bestie

do you have any friends who are wlw? Yep!

is your crush wlw? See, this is complicated. Technically at the moment no, but there has been gender questioning in the past and it’s possible that at some point in the future yes. 

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? That’s been a long time ago lmao, I’ve been pretty confident I am Super Queer for a long while. 

write a short love poem to your crush/self? I am not good at these and very tired so I’m gonna pass on this one

do you fall in love easily? I used to, but not anymore. Mainly cause I’m still very deeply in love with the person I think is my soul mate. 

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yerp.

are you good at hiding your feelings? Not really no

are you a forgiving person? I can be. Bf thinks I am too forgiving. 

what is your “type?” Uhh, it depends? And fluctuates? lol

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? Both.

tall girls or short girls? Both, though prob tall more often than not.

hugs or kisses? Kisses

twirl her around or get twirled? Twiiiirl. 

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Thigh

hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neck

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? I have Two Hands

making out or soft kisses? Both, but I Really Like making out

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Neck, but also both. 

how confident are you in your sexuality? 100%

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? Yes, a lot lol

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? I would not be with my bf if this wasn’t the case. 

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? I think I was 13? 

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? Uhhh... I don’t really remember lol

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? Yes! But it ended not great so :(

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? I really hate when people say I should identify in a certain way because it’s a “slur” the whole point of reclaiming things is to take the ammunition out of it. And a lot of words have been slurs in the past that seem to be fully acceptable. 

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? I don’t really remember. 

what is love to you? It can change but at its heart it makes you feel warm and soft, and makes you feel a little bit better about the bad things in life. 

[nonpienary]

Responding to: MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF

I'm a nerd and I'm doing it. For no good reason honestly: 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? That was my boyfriend, so yes. 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Nope but I decided to look at his facebook for the first time in years yesterday - it was uninteresting. 3. Have you taken someones virginity? Nothing to take. I've been someone's first time and someone's first time with a guy though. I've also been like three girls' first kiss, even though two of them were stage kisses. One of those still used a lot of tongue, though. 4. Is trust a big issue for you? Nope, I generally give people the benefit of the doubt. I was lucky to have a stable-ish childhood. 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Lots! But if you mean romantically, it's been a week since we've been together but we text daily and had a video call for hours last night - we're moving in together this week! There's lots to talk about, it's a big transition for both of us. 6. What are you excited for? See #5! I'm gonna move in with my boyfriend on Friday!!! He's wonderful and thoughtful and the apartment is great. 7. What happened tonight? I... got home from D&D and called my mom? 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? I think this question is disgusting and sexist, and that men are generally encouraged by society to be far more disgusting than women, especially when they get drunk (which they are also encouraged to do more than women, as seen in the wording of this question) 9. Is confidence cute? Loaded question - it can be attractive, but it can also be toxic and gross, especially in men who have been trained to believe in themselves at the cost of discounting others and/or reason/safety. I think earned confidence in something you were once unconfident in can be endearing, particularly to those who saw that change take place! Confidence for its own sake can be gross though 10. What is the last beverage you had? Water 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? First, "opposite sex" is such an outdated and awful term, implying two inherent genders at some cosmic diametric odds with each other, which is bullshit. As far as my current (increasingly tenuous) male identity meaning you're asking me about trusting women? Ummm, 'how many' is a weird question. Like trust how? I have like 10-15 female-identifying people I'm very close with, but a lot more family members and the like whom I trust very much. This is a dumb question and seems pretty cissexist and heteronormative, as well as supporting this culture of gendered enmity. 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Multiple. 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Sleep, it'll be the day after move-in 14. What are you going to spend money on next? Parking for work tomorrow. Thus question is for kids. 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? I'm moving in with him. 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Yes. 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Probably my boyfriend? Depends on the thing. If it's really anything I guess it's my sister. 18. The last time you felt broken? When hearing people insist all couples argued a lot. 19. Have you had sex today? Only with myself. 20. Are you starting to realize anything? ??? I'll get back to you? 21. Are you in a good mood? Somewhat. This is putting me in a weird place I guess. 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? What a curveball. Um, only to see them up close, but likely not. Video is fine by me. 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Yes. 24. What do you want right this second? Ice cream and my boyfriend. I'm getting o e on friday, and the other one is in my freezer. Please place them properly to avoid disaster. 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? My turn? I'm ok sharing but I like attention too. 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? This was written with teenage girls in mind. Yes. 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Probably not 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Something my mom said? 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? One of my dogs moved to florida with my parents 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Very vague, generally yes but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be safe from them. Abusers use this to lure victims back in. Nobody deserves anything FROM YOU. 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Fuck no - just many of the other ones 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? I should hope so 💜 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Yes! There are others? I just always hated carbonation. 34. Listening to? Rainbow by Kesha. You should too. 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Yeah, just started to at work lately and it feels so good 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? At home with a fever 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? No but ours was pretty fast. And attraction that leads to love is a thing. I did blow my boyfriend within an hour of meeting him in person, but we'd been talking fir a while by that point and in my defense, the internet in my room had gone out. 38. Who did you last call? My mom 39. Who was the last person you danced with? Myself at the train station the other morning. 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? To say goodbye, and that I would see him soon, and that I wouldn't let all the awful things the president wanted to do to him take him away from me, and that I loved him so fucking much. Also, because his train was about to leave but I needed to kiss him one more time. 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Too long ago. 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No but I blew my mom a kiss, does that count? She's far away 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? All day erry day. It's my natural state. 44. Do you tan in the nude? I burn in clothes 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Fuck no, did you read what I just said about it? 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Not really. 47. Who was the last person to call you? 💜Babe💜 48. Do you sing in the shower? Where don't I sing? 49. Do you dance in the car? On occasion 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? I rocked at it as a kid, but not in years. I loved the tigers'-eye beads they gave for archery at cub scout camp, so I became an Archery Expert to get a bunch. 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? High School 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? YES, GOT A PROBLEM??? 53. Is Christmas stressful? I give awful gifts 54. Ever eat a pierogi? How is this a question 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Trick question it's pizza, but I also love most. Blueberry is amazing though 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Archaeologist, artist, singer. 57. Do you believe in ghosts? Only my ghost boyfriend 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes 59. Take a vitamin daily? Am I fucking MOTHER TERESA? God, what do you even EXPECT from me, perFECTION? 60. Wear slippers? Rarely 61. Wear a bath robe? Never 62. What do you wear to bed? Bf is converting me to underwear and a t-shirt 63. First concert? PWR BTTM but they're abusers and broke my heart so let's forget that one and say Regina Spektor 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? No 65. Nike or Adidas? No 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Crunchy Cheetos but that's my addiction talking 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? What? I guess peanuts 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? No? 69. Ever take dance lessons? I got told I could not take a coed bellydancing class once because I was the first guy to show interest and the instructor would have had to have asked the students, which she just decided not to do. She also didn't tell this to my friend (who had asked the teacher if I could come and been told yes) until we were literally walking into class, me in shorts I had just bought for the class. She basically told me it was for the students' comfort which I understood even though I'm queer, but then was like you can sit in and watch maybe? But that seemed even weirder so I just went gome 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Assuming everyone gets married is bullshit 71. Can you curl your tongue? Lotsa ways 😉 72. Ever won a spelling bee? Nah but I've been in the musical 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes 74. What is your favorite book? Probably one of the Circle of Magic books but I dunno which one 75. Do you study better with or without music? I don't study well 76. Regularly burn incense? No 77. Ever been in love? Yup 78. Who would you like to see in concert? More queer people 79. What was the last concert you saw? Tank and the Bangas!!!! They were so good 💜 80. Hot tea or cold tea? All Tea (all shade) 81. Tea or coffee? Teaaaaaa 82. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip? Madeline? Raspberry marzipan? Thumbprint? Rainbow? Black and White but only the white side because I'm ✨racist against icing✨? Lots 83. Can you swim well? Sorta 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah I guess 85. Are you patient? Sorta? 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Me, in The Best Dress, singing my little heart out 87. Ever won a contest? Yes! Mostly math stuff 88. Ever have plastic surgery? No 89. Which are better black or green olives? Green 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Sex is great, marriage is problematic, def do the first one first. Also like, this is such an outfated question wtf 91. Best room for a fireplace? All of them 92. Do you want to get married? Yeah but blame Disney for that propaganda. I'm getting over it, my bf is very against the state getting involved in relationships. That said, we might have to get married for dumb legal reasons for his well-being? It's gross and not a fairytale at all