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princessroyal95 · 1 year ago

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This is love (Charlotte Katakuri x Hirawashi Len) [English version]

Summary

Who can love a monster like Charlotte Katakuri? He is the son of Charlotte Linlin, known as Big Mom, and the question of the second eldest child in the family is who could love someone like him.

The idea of him falls apart when he meets a somewhat tsundere girl, but with a heart of gold that will make the commander fall in love.

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Chapter II

The cries of the people are present in the Funtime Circus show. Laughs could not be missed clearly. Those who enjoyed it most were the children, especially from the Charlotte Family, who were amazed at the unique skills of each crew member. The most favourite was Luciel, a young girl of average height who made sweets appear with her hands and threw them into the air for anyone to pick up. She even made a very special one for Big Mom: a giant strawberry and cream-flavored candy. The children's mother couldn't resist eating it in one bite.

Dancers, singers, clowns... Everything was magic for all the people of Sweet City. The only one who saw it a bit boring was Katakuri, those things are usually thought by everyone. He resented the idea that all those people thought they were special because they had a unique talent. It's like saying you're the only swordsman in the world and it's not true. Even one of her sisters sings better than that lizard woman.

However, he liked to listen to the laughter of his little brothers. He enjoyed seeing them like that, so happy to see something for the first time since they were born. Although you could not see it under the scarf, she smiled when she saw them in that state. He felt someone approaching from his shoulder and it was his sister Brûlée.

"It makes me want to rip those girls' faces off," says Katakuri's sister, seeing that those girls were more beautiful than she was.

"Don't let jealousy get the better of you, Brulee."

"How do I know you're not looking at one of them?"

"Who would look at a monster like me?" the commander hit the nail on the head, leaving Brûlée with no comment.

Behind the curtains, there was Len who was doing push-ups non-stop trying to calm his whole body in a natural way. She knows it's her turn because she was the big star of the circus. She knows it because of the big sign that Lurke always puts showing a silhouette of a woman that nobody knows. She is only known as "the strongest girl in Grand Line" or "The Bearded Vulture". She prefers the first one really, since the second one sounds like she bursts any person's skull or bones.

Actually, it wasn't nice to have that name, but many people gave it to her out of fear. She is a woman with a strong character. Her chunky friend, Bishock, is by her side watching the young woman train.

"You will do very well."

"I know, but I can't let Lurke down." She puts her hands on the floor, raising her body to a firm and straight position where she does her push-ups.

"He trusts you."

"I know, but that family I've heard so much about must be terrible." Not caring much, the skirt slips down her legs showing off her panties, something that poor Bishock almost had a fit for. However, he's used to it as his friend didn't care too much. It is as if he wanted to provoke someone.

"Len is not to bother you, but... isn't it better to put on a pair of trousers or something?"

The young woman, on hearing this, stopped doing the pine and then looked at her partner with a look of few friends. Bishock felt that he was about to die at that moment.

"Why do you say that?! Does it bother you that I'm wearing a skirt?!" It was clear that he didn't like anyone giving him the opposite of what he was wearing.

"N-No, it's just that...," Bishock looked for a way for the girl not to think badly, "maybe you can distract someone."

A heavy blow is what the young Len received. A big lump came out of her head. He deserved it for speaking ill of the young woman's appearance. He was going to say something, but they were interrupted by Lurke who called them.

"Guys, stop fighting. It's your turn to go out."

Len shook her clothes and thundered all her bones releasing all the pressure on her. She was ready for the big show and so was her strapping friend. She was going to show what a short girl could do.

Lurke, on her side, came out behind the curtains to the great applause of the people. He bowed in thanks while smiling like a rogue. But he was getting nervous because he was getting a lot of attention from the Charlotte family. Come on you can do it, he said to himself. He took the big microphone to give his speech.

"How are they getting on!"

"All right!" shouted the children of Linlin who applauded loudly wanting more.

"I'm glad to hear that!" he cleared his throat a little and then went on. "Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls of all ages! We're coming to the home stretch of this circus! Behind those curtains is the most mysterious thing I've encountered on my entire Grand Line journey!"

Flampe smiled broadly on hearing that. She knew perfectly well what was going to happen. She wanted so badly to see that person to see if it was really true.

"On my right, there's the heaviest man in North Blue! He's 3.50 meters tall and weighs over 500 kilos! Give it up for Bishock!"

The named man came out from behind the curtain with some weights in his hands. People were not impressed because there really were real monsters in Sweet City; however, they applauded him for being there.

"And to my left, is the most special and the star of Funtime Circus!" The people listened carefully to the captain's words. "She's 1'59 and weighs 57 kilos! She's considered the strongest woman in the Grand Line!"

"Wait... 5'4" only?" Oven said with a raised eyebrow.

"Interesting..." Smoothie smiled, she wanted to see that dwarf.

"Give a big round of applause to our wonderful and beautiful Hirawashi Len!"

The curtains opened up for Len carrying two weights that must have weighed more than a ton, and that wasn't the only thing, also in her head and in her mouth. She was carrying more than ten tons of weight! The whole village was left with their mouths open, even the children. The Charlotte family could not believe what they were seeing, including Katakuri.

Len approached his partner Bishock and signaled what he had to do. The burly man understood perfectly. He stood behind the young woman showing the weights again to the people to watch what he will do. He put one foot on the young woman's shoulder and on an impulse jumped up and put the other foot on the other end. That left a figure: Bishock on Len standing while the young woman carried all that weight on her shoulders.

And most believable of all, she was neither sweating nor blinking at every moment since she came out. Lurke looked at everyone in the village and smiled with satisfaction that everyone was impressed. However, there must always be some voice that spoiled everything.

"That's not true!" cried one man. "That girl doesn't look strong! Look at her size compared to the stocky one!"

Bishock jumped in front of the young woman and released the weights to rest his hands on her hips, somewhat annoyed by the comment. Actually the one who was getting annoyed was Len, but she was being hidden by the burly one so that she didn't do anything stupid.

"Oh come on, sir. If you've just seen what the lady can do."

"She probably ate a Devil's Fruit to get that superhuman strength."

"Sir, I can assure you that what you say is not true!" Lurke quickly corrected, standing between the burly and the man. "Mother Nature created it this way and has trained it hard to have superhuman physical capacities!"

"The weights are inflated with air!"

"Would you like to see for yourself?!"

Everyone looked at the loudmouth while he resolutely approached the stage under the attentive gaze of the whole town and the Charlotte family. He was going to prove that this young woman was a farce just like this stupid play. Len, with his typical look that he wanted to murder someone, put the weights aside but one.

Already facing the man, she raised her arm towards him to pick up the weight. The man only smiled as he grabbed each end of the weight. Len smiled as well, and as soon as she released the weight, it fell to the ground with the man. They weren't rubber! They weren't even inflated with air! The loudmouth looked at young Len impressed that there was a woman with such unnatural strength.

"That's what you get for having a big mouth," says one and then laughs at his friend, and they all do the same. That poor man made a fool of himself.

"I'm still sure his strength comes from a Devil's Fruit!"

"Sir...," Len's voice echoed throughout the place, as if it was the only sound that could be heard perfectly, "can you tell me your name?"

"... Zoku..." From his voice, he seemed unsure.

"Zoku Zoku Zoku...," The brunette turned around that man touching almost his points, for example, his shoulder, "let's see why he says that? Does he think that a woman can't be stronger than a man?

"Well..."

Len could see that the man's eyes showed fear, it was common in that place to be afraid of something. However, it was a much newer fear than one could have imagined. The brunette sighed slightly away from the man. Her footsteps were steady as her boots echoed throughout the place until she reached her burly companion who was only looking at her curiously.

What was this hazel-eyed woman up to that would hypnotize anyone? Len goes behind the curtains taking a bucket full of water and puts himself in first position showing everyone the contents. And in one quick movement, he throws it at her letting her clothes get wet and leave some visualization behind her clothes. Men, committed or not, almost died from a nosebleed when they saw such an insinuation from that girl.

Big Mom's children just smile amusingly at the scene. Katakuri, however, showed no feeling at all. What's more, he raised one of his eyebrows curiously at what that woman had done. Wasn't she ashamed to do that in front of all the hungry men?

"Punch me in the face." She gave an order to the man who only looked at her in surprise and disbelief.

"Do you want me to hit you?"

"No, I want you to kiss me," she dramatized, placing her hands on her hips. "Of course!"

That man was not sure if it was right what he was going to do. He would never dare to hit a woman. However, Len was proposing to him. The young woman kept shaking her head waiting for that worm to punch her on the cheek. She was getting impatient and you could see it in the vein growing in her temple.

Without hesitation that shoulder pulled back her arm and then punched her across the face. She didn't even flinch from her position. The people could do only one thing: open their mouths in surprise at the sight of such an act. He did not bleed. He didn't have a bruise. Nor did he complain. The man walked away from her in fear that he had really hurt her.

"I-I'm sorry, I think I overreacted..."

"Oh, it's okay..." Len's voice was so calm that he just smiled.

That man did not expect such an answer. He just smiled a little nervously about what had happened. Young Len still had that smile showing how peaceful she was at that moment. However, everything changed. A blow was the only thing that that person received from her. And not just any blow. A blow that was capable of breaking your bones and leaving you immobilized for months.

A punch in the stomach that left the poor man speechless and spitting blood into his mouth. Everything looked in slow motion. The girl's features showed that he was a real demon, furious at the comment that person had made. The slow-motion faded away giving way to the big push caused by that blow. The man collided with a building passing through it and a few other buildings until he stopped at a large tower.

The faces of the people in the city were more like surprise and fear. The girl hit the man and made him drill a few holes in each building leaving him immobilized. As if he were a simple lifeless vegetable. Len looked at each of them, pointing at them with pride.

"If anyone says my strength is caused by a Devil's Fruit, he will have a bad time!"

In fact, she wanted to check that, even if she was wet, she didn't possess any fruit at all already, that those users who consume such fruit will have only one weakness and that is water. On the other hand, she has not shown any signs of tiredness or weakness for throwing the bucket on her body. Everyone present, except Charlotte's family, was open-mouthed and did not believe that this girl was a real monster.

"You've seen what our big star is capable of," said Lurke, a little nervous that her friend has gone too far. "Have a doctor come to his aid because I think he'll be on the stretcher for a long time!

"That's an interesting brat." Daifuku was impressed by Len's monstrous strength.

"Imagine having her as your wife." Almost all the brothers looked at Oven for making such a comment. "She would be a real monster there."

"You wish you had her for a wife, then she'd be behind you so you wouldn't be slacking off at your post," Cracker laughed as his older brother looked at him in annoyance.

"Or have her for a warrior." Amande exhaled her cigarette smoke showing no interest in the girl.

"I want her..." They listened as her mother finally spoke. "I want her..." She kept saying that phrase. "I want her!" Her eyes shone brightly. Her children knew her too well, when she was interested in something she went for it and there was no one to stop her. "You!" Her cry was present all over the square making the people of the city and even Captain Lurke tense. "That girl is very interesting! You can tell she's a real monster in her nature!" Was that a compliment? "How much does it cost?!" That already baffled Len when he said that.

"... Do you want to buy her?!" Lurke was surprised.

"Of course I do! You can see you'll be a great warrior in my crew! And maybe I'll marry one of my sons!" A vein grew in young Len's temple, she no longer liked the idea. "I would have some very powerful grandchildren!"

"Y-Yes, I agree with you..." Len couldn't believe what she had just heard from her captain's mouth and she wasn't the only one.

"How much do you want for it?!"

"Well..." The crew knew their captain very well. He was so greedy that for the money he would do anything.

"No way!" shouted the young woman holding her captain by the shoulders to look at him. "If you do that I'll break your neck!"

"How about fifty thousand berries?" That figure was tempting to Lurke's ears.

"Lurke, think about what you're going to do!"

"A hundred thousand berries?" Was he doing it on purpose?

Lurke posed the young woman's arms to calm down a bit in the face of the situation. Len's face calmed down as she tried to figure out what was going on in the captain's head. The middle-aged man, on the other hand, walked towards Charlotte with a peaceful but serious look on his face. He put his hands together to think about the proposal. It was a lot of money, he knew perfectly well.

However, if he wanted to negotiate with Big Mom, he would be happy to do so with a big smile.

"I think a hundred thousand berries is not enough."

"Why not?!" Big Mom's patience was wearing thin inside. She was known for having little patience with people as vulgar as Lurke.

"Oh, come on, great empress. You've seen her strength and what she's capable of with a man with one punch. Do you think she's worth that much? No, my lady. She's worth a billion berries."

The Charlotte family was stunned by the amount the captain was asking for. How did he dare to negotiate with his mother like that? Big Mom's teeth were grinding so hard that it looked like she was about to break her teeth. He was so damn greedy.

Although still she wished she could have that girl in her crew anyway. Charlotte Linlin got everything and no one would ever turn him down. Candy, weapons, valuables... everything. Even an alliance with different races. And a girl in front of him who was worth more than that. She was beautiful and at the same time a monster. Her future grandchildren would come out to her mother. How he envied her for having such beauty and on top of that with the strength of a thousand demons. She swallowed her words and only smiled widely.

"All right! I'll give you a billion berries in exchange for the girl!" finally sentenced Big Mom.

"It's a deal, great empress!"

"I already have in my possession the strongest girl in the whole Grand Line! Mamamamama!" It wasn't a good sign for all the citizens of Totto Land.

"Captain... what have you done?"

"I did it for the sake of our crew. We're running out of money, Bishock," chided Lurke, spinning on his heels. He turned very pale when he saw Len with a furious face where her eyes sparkled with rage. Now she was really furious, "C'mon Len, don't be like that. You'll be in Big Mom's care and, besides, you'll marry one of his..."

He did not finish the sentence because he was already flying through the air provoked by the great kick given by the young Len. The skirt danced in the wind making the woman's underwear visible, something that he didn't care about. She was really furious as she realized that there were many eyes on the young woman.

"You're a fucking greedy bastard!"

Katakuri was very happy to see that girl get into a bad mood when she didn't like it. However, he did not trust her. Not at all, she was a stranger to him and his whole family. Although he had to make his mother happy. And if she was happy to have that girl on his crew, so will he be. But when his own mother talked about marrying her... That's when he took the most interest in that young woman.

A lady with a beast? Or two beasts? Better the second option, seeing what that young lady was capable of. But the age difference was much greater. How old would she be? Eighteen? He would double her age. Besides, who would look at a monster like him? That's what he was. A being created to kill and take orders from his mother without making any kind of excuse.

At sunset, all the citizens of the city returned to their respective homes, bringing the great show of Funtime Circus to a close. They were happy to have enjoyed it. However, a certain person was not very happy. She grumbled all the way through while being guided by some soldiers. They were taking her to the castle that would be her new home. Home? More like a prison for her and to put up with that woman and her children.

With the children she would have no problem because she loves them, and with the women she would have a good chat. The only problem here is the men. It's true that she can get along with them, but when Big Mom talked about marrying one of them she didn't like the idea anymore. I'm sure they're all perverts who wouldn't stop looking at you and trying to guess what's behind those clothes. But, hey, we're talking about Len. She's a girl who doesn't care about that, after all, they're human.

It was as if at some point she would have a mission with them and would have to take a bath. She wouldn't have any problem with that since she's done it several times when she was little. She even almost did it with Lurke, although he flatly denied it.

The doors of the great castle opened to make way for a large corridor decorated with lamps, paintings and carpets. And in front of it was Charlotte Linlin with her older children as the little ones were at bath time. Len's face belonged to few friends and was too noticeable. The soldiers pushed her to walk to what she grunted with disapproval. A few more steps and she was already in front of the great Empress of Totto Land. I assure you that Len's thought was to kill Lurke before he left for selling her in that way.

"Welcome to my home, my dear! Mamamamama!" she greeted gently, but with a touch of evil Big Mom. "Surely you have heard wonders of me."

"Oh, of course." She smiled falsely, something the commander noticed.

"Oh, little one, now you look like a frail and weak girl."

A vein grew on the young woman's temple, implying that she did not like at all what Big Mom said about her. It made her want to rip that woman's head off. Calm down Len, take a deep breath. Don't spoil everything, she thought.

"I'm not," she said reluctantly even showing that smile.

"Of course you're not," says Charlotte with a big smile, "as the saying goes: 'Never underestimate someone because of their size'. And you are a clear example of that saying.

"I'm flattered by that, my lady."

"You'll make a great soldier in my crew. Linlin began to imagine this girl leading her entire crew and slaughtering her enemies without mercy. "You are the greatest treasure that one cannot obtain in millions of years!"

"If you say so...," she says quietly, but Linlin seems to have heard her, "I mean... so many have told me."

"But I also have plans for you." The eight-metre giant stood up and then approached the young woman and began to spin around her. Len could only strain her body at such a presence. Is this what Lurke meant about her? "You are so beautiful that if it weren't for me, my daughter Brûlée would have already torn your face apart." She heard a laugh coming from the one named. "However, your beauty and your monstrous strength make you extremely attractive. And that is something I look for in my children." The young woman's gaze pierced the men who never stopped looking at her with a smile, she even felt that woman's hand on her shoulder. "Although I really don't know who to marry as they are all special and strong."

Special and strong? It was true that she heard that all her children are strong, but special in what? She doesn't know exactly, but having her around was making her nervous. Too much so. For the first time, she felt her heart pumping strongly, but from fear.

"I think I should rule out the most horrible ones." Sounds of frustration are heard from her children. "And also those who are immature."

Big Mom waved as if wanting to remove those he has named who are useless as future spouses of young Len. The vast majority of them move away by going to the other side where their brothers are. There were only five left.

Five men who looked very old, although one of them stood out and was too tall for his taste. Those five were Cracker, Daifuku, Oven, Katakuri and Perospero.

"Now we just need..."

"Just a moment, my lady," Len interrupted, feeling that woman digging her nails into his shoulder. She holds the pain like a champion, "don't you think it's better that I choose one of your children?

All the children looked terrified. How could that brat dare to question her mother's decision?

"It's not that I don't want to marry her children, but to have a forced marriage with no feelings in between would not be a happy wife..."

Linlin was surprised at the young woman's words: "To be happy with one of your children? The truth was that whenever she presents a candidate to her children they are always scared by her stupidity or her monstrosities. The great woman smiled broadly and laughed shamelessly.

"And you think they want to have feelings for you?" Big Mom found this too amusing.

"A man would do anything to conquer a woman," says Len now with a sincere smile, "I propose you one thing: if one of your five children conquers me in a month I will marry him. And if not... you will choose who to marry."

"Great! Guards, take her to her quarters!"

The guards bow and take young Len to their respective rooms. The other children retire leaving their mother alone on her throne. However, Katakuri seeing the future with his Haki stopped his four brothers.

He knew perfectly what his mother was going to tell him so he turned on his heels to see her. But he was intrigued.

"Would you like to tell us something mother" asked the older one.

"Yes," said the woman sitting on her throne and with a look of few friends she said, "if any of you scare the young lady you will not get out of this one alive and that includes you Katakuri." She pointed at her threatening son. "Don't even think of taking off your scarf in front of her!"

"... I won't, Mother."

Now young Len had to endure five men, but does the second commander have any interest in conquering this woman?

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Chapter I.

Chapter III.

#one piece #oc #charlotte katakuri #original character #romance

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mieohmy · 4 years ago

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𝖧𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗍 𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 | 𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝗃𝖾𝗇𝗈, 𝗇𝖺 𝗃𝖺𝖾𝗆𝗂𝗇

PAIRING: jeno x fem reader, jaemin x fem reader

GENRE: angst, fluff, humor, agent!jeno, agent!jaemin, agent!reader, spy! au, love triangle, slow burn, pining

WC: 13.1k

NOTES: depictions of violence, weapons, murder, death, blood, injuries, hospitals, mentions of alcohol consumption

SUMMARY: you save jeno’s life and suddenly you’re more to him than he’s ever thought possible. or in more simple terms, you somehow find yourself in the midst of a war called feelings.

notice!- there will be a part two/bonus of this fic soon so keep a lookout :)

“Yes sir.” The three of you speak in unison.

You, jeno, and jaemin are excused from your boss’s office, minds already revving up for your newly assigned mission.

“So.....” jaemin starts.

“So?” You glance at him, jeno to your left doing the same.

“What do you guys want to eat after we’re done?”

Jeno snorts.

“Already thinking about dinner before the mission’s even started?” You tease jaemin as you walk side by side down the stairs.

Just seeing you three together catches everyone else’s attention. And when you and the boys go to your respective lockers, grabbing your gear and getting ready, they begin to whisper too, already knowing what it means.

The notorious three going all out again.

It didn’t phase any of you at this point. Simply because you guys were that group. The trio with the reputation of being “unstoppable” as the rookies called it. Meaning? Your assigned missions rarely failing, the deeds done cleanly and always on time- the boss never had to worry and fret over your team. But you three were humble enough to simply call it ‘practiced skill and talent’ -with a spoonful of teamwork, of course.

Actually, that was an understatement. Teamwork was important, if not the most important thing while performing missions together. Knowing your partners’ style, skills, actions, were key in any task- basically being able to understand and read each other’s minds without a single word, even in the middle of a battle. Especially in the middle of a battle.

“Are you ready?” Jeno asks, and you nod, looking over to jaemin attempting to put on his earpiece. You stifle a laugh, shuffling over to him and reaching to adjust it. “What would all the newbies think if the mighty jaemin couldn’t even put on his earpiece correctly?” You mutter, fingers soft and nimble while focusing intently.

He grins. “I’d say you always do it for me because you’re the boss.”

You smile. “Dang right I am.”

Turning back to jeno, you notice him waiting boredly for you two. “We’re good Jen! Or do you need me to fix yours too?”

He shakes his head, a smile forming. “Nah, I can take care of myself pretty well.”

“Are you sure? What about that one coffee-“

Jeno presses a finger to your lips, effectively muffling your next words.

“Let’s not mention that anymore.”

A few beats of silence pass.

Then Jaemin abruptly claps his hands. “Ah! The one girl-“

And jeno basically flies through the air over to him, covering his face and whispering worthless threats. The three of you burst into laughter, the atmosphere quite light and easy compared to what you were about to embark on.

You head to the exit and towards the waiting car.

Once everyone gets inside, there’s a noticeable shift in the energy -no more fun banter and joking. It was time to focus.

The assigned driver types in the address to where you three are supposed to infiltrate a random gang’s base and take some trivial files for your own group’s use. The difficulty wasn’t too bad, especially for you three. Definitely not the worst you’ve ever been through as a team- you cringe thinking back to when you, jeno, and jaemin started your first “big” mission. Needless to say, you all came back a little worse for wear. The mission still was considered a success- just saying.

The ride is pretty quiet, an occasional remark here and there. There wasn’t an important need to plan and discuss beforehand- you quickly learned that the three of you worked best just going along with the flow.

The pitch-black night sky and yellow-tinted streetlights greet you as you exit the car, gratefully accepting jeno’s extended hand when you step down.

Jeno looks around, examining the supposed hideout. The sight of an empty parking garage greets him- dim but still lit up somewhat brightly. It may not seem all too scary, but he knows better. It’s just a facade for the dark and twisted acts going on underneath.

“What is this place? Some 2013 music video shoot for a boy group?” Jaemin jokes.

You crack a smile whilst searching around for the entrance. Speaking from experience, you already guessed it would be in an ambiguous location with some stupid twist to get in.

After a couple of seconds, the three of you glance at each other, a look going around that no one else would understand.

“Elevator to your right?”

Jaemin nonchalantly nods, eves never flicking away. “Yep.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “Jen, Jaem, I think you guys can stand guard while I quickly get the files.”

The two boys both immediately begin to object, voices rising. Your eyes widen, taking a quick glance around before shushing them. “You never know who’s lurking!”

Jeno rolls his eyes. “I don’t care. We’re not letting you go in alone.”

You sigh, checking the time. “Okay, fine. Then jaem can come with me. I think you’re the quietest and stealthiest out of all three of us.”

Jaemin nods, and you turn to jeno. “Comm us if you see anything, okay?”

Jeno gives a small thumbs up.

“Come on,” you instinctively grab jaemin’s hand. “Let’s be fast so we don’t leave jeno waiting out here for too long.”

Jeno watches as the two of you disappear behind the closing doors.

ꔫ

It’s boring.

The most action Jeno's gotten was a bird flying in and pecking at some random stuff on the ground before leaving.

Jeno begins to wish he went with you guys, but his role is still important. Except for the times when there was no one around and no need to keep a lookout. Jeno stifles a yawn, the somehow peaceful air getting to his head, but it’s cut short when he hears oncoming voices. And they’re definitely not yours or jaemin’s.

He curses internally, ducking and moving out of view from whoever was there. He squints, and there’s no denying the gang symbol painted on their backs.

Jeno counts- two, three...

Okay, that’s not bad. He could definitely take them on. Then jeno remembers he only brought a small knife, not expecting any surprise encounters, and his confidence lowers a bit.

He presses the button on his earpiece, speaking lowly as to not alert the dark figures. “Guys. Unexpected arrival. About three or so.”

A couple of seconds later, your voice filters through. “Shoot. It’s okay, we’ve got the file and are almost out. Are they headed towards the entrance?”

He peeks around the corner and bites his lip after looking. “Yes.”

Jeno hears a sigh from the other side.

“About three more minutes. We got caught up in some security codes. Do you think you can take them on or do you want to wait for us?”

“No,” he immediately responds. “We can’t risk losing the file.”

“Okay.” There’s a pause, and jeno waits.

“Just...” you speak up, “be careful.”

Jeno gulps. “I will.”

It’s not anything jeno hasn’t done before, but it’s still a risky move nonetheless.

He takes a look again, and they’re typing in a code to the door where you and jaemin entered not so long ago.

It’s now or never.

“Hey!”

Jeno’s voice comes out light and airy, a casual and relaxed tone to it as he strolls out.

The masked figures tense, attention immediately on jeno.

Rude, jeno thinks.

He doesn’t even get another word out before the guys are all over him. He takes one out with ease, and barely avoids another one armed with a knife.

Jeno moves with practiced ease, swiftly dodging attacks and hitting back with double the strength.

It’s only after the second guy is down with a blow to the face that jeno whips out his own knife, going after the last guy.

Jeno slices and the figure slumps to the ground. He huffs, examining the fallen bodies around him as he hides his knife away. Two minutes tops, he thinks.

Then the sound of the door opening alerts him, and he turns to see you and jaemin looking tense and alert, relaxing when you catch sight of jeno and the bodies lying around him.

That means one thing. Obviously.

You send a thumbs up with an easy smile, one jeno returns back, believing the mission was done and sealed. He starts messing with his annoying earpiece- huh, maybe you were right, and he didn’t put it in correctly...

Jeno misses the horror that immediately replaces your satisfied look when you take a better glance at him, or more accurately, what’s behind him.

“Lee Jeno!” You suddenly scream, shrill voice echoing through the supposedly empty lot.

Jeno whips around toward you. His eyes immediately make eye contact with yours, and there’s this look of pure terror and desperation.

Chills run down his spine and fear prickles at his neck. What could get you to react like that?

Jeno’s never seen you this scared. Not in a very, very long time. He’s too dumbfounded at your abrupt outburst to pay any attention to his surroundings.

You’re sprinting towards him as fast as you can, lips mouthing words that either he can’t hear or you’re not sounding out.

It all happens so fast- too fast in a blur that he can’t comprehend anything-

you crash into jeno, arms thrown around him as if you were giving him a hug, but then you suddenly spin him around in the opposite direction, and you push him away- just a slight nudge so he only stumbles back a bit.

He hears it before he can fully see it.

The sickening sound of a blade meeting flesh- jeno knows it all too well- and he does catch the figure quickly sliding his knife out from you in shock.

Two seconds -it’s basically second nature for jeno to unsheathe his knife and throw it straight at the guy in two seconds.

Perfectly through his head.

His body feels numb, he doesn’t even give a second glance to the perpetrator before his eyes land on you again.

Red is blooming from your side through your shirt, and all you do is stand there, one hand slowly coming up to press the area, face cringing in pain as you look back up at jeno.

He can’t move- the only sound he hears is the heaving of his chest, gasping for air. But his lips work on their own accord, words coming out slowly and breathlessly.

“y/n....why?”

When you speak, your voice flows out, strangely soft and melodic, and your eyes lock onto him with a hidden and intense emotion.

“Because you’re my friend.”

You add a small “-idiot,” with a cough.

And then it’s as if someone presses play again.

You immediately slump to the ground, and jeno hears jaemin yell, running to you and scooping you up in his arms.

But jeno doesn’t budge an inch, he can only stare at the way your eyes fall shut, limp body unmoving in jaemin’s lap.

Jaemin’s shaking, he can tell, hands trying to press your wound and stop the pouring blood, but he can’t tell if jaemin’s screaming at him to get help or if it’s the sound and smell of blood infiltrating him, rushing through his ears.

Then something snaps, and jeno clumsily fiddles with his earpiece, somehow spitting out the words to get help.

It’s like everything revolves around jeno as he just watches.

and exists.

Backup rushes in and gets you to safety as jeno stands there in shock. He has no clue or recollection as to how he even got back to headquarters. Or what’s going to happen to you.

The only thing jeno can do is replay the moment you jumped in front of him and sacrificed yourself.

And the way you looked at him so tenderly, speaking so soothingly,

-the way there was not a single ounce of regret in your deep eyes after willingly taking that knife for jeno.

ꔫ

You’re going to be fine, rest assured. After being rushed to the infirmary, they got a solid report on you a couple of hours later. You were currently sleeping, even after losing a solid amount of blood, the doctors were able to get you in a stable condition. The only problem was that you would be put on bed rest for two weeks- just to be safe.

Jaemin was the one who filled him in on all the details, even though jeno can see jaemin’s just as affected as he is.

It was the first time your team ever had to call backup.

It was the first time they ever saw you so lifeless and small- when after missions you were always so lively and cheerful and just there.

And this was the first time you weren’t.

Jeno feels so weak.

He can barely even function. The others force him to go home and recharge, get a good night’s sleep to process everything.

Jeno feels so weak when jaemin has to be the one to stay back and report everything while he returns to the safety of his apartment.

Jeno feels so weak knowing it was his fault.

He keeps replaying that moment. The moment the man snuck up behind him, your terrified scream of his name, the glint of that red-stained knife, the last look you gave him.

He swore all the guys were down- how did one get back up?

It was his fault. Jeno’s carelessness- in all five years of this job and three working with you and jaemin as a team- he’s never done this before.

He’s never been the reason behind your pain before.

ꔫ

He received daily updates on you from jaemin.

You woke up.

You were recovering well.

You said you missed jeno and asked why he wasn’t there.

Okay, so maybe it’s been three days, and jeno still hasn’t worked up the courage to visit you.

It’s not that he didn’t want to see you- oh no, if anything, he definitely wanted to be there. Jeno wanted to see your bright face so badly and feel comforted and relieved that you were okay. But every time he takes a glance in the direction of the infirmary where you were currently staying, he feels all the emotions rush to his head at once.

Anger, pain, sadness, guilt. Mainly guilt.

And the fact that he can’t help but see your stricken face and last moments whenever he takes a single step in your direction.

But jeno misses you. He didn’t realize it before, but he really misses you. Jaemin doesn’t even pressure him to go visit you at least once or ask why the reasoning behind why he hasn’t gone.

So jeno slowly builds up the confidence to finally visit you. He shows up three days, 72 hours, 4320 minutes later at the room you were currently stationed in, carrying a stuffed plushie of your favorite cartoon character in one hand and a bag of snacks in the other.

He grunts, adjusting his stuff so he can knock on the door lightly to alert you of his presence. Jeno hears your voice- a soft “come in!” and he gulps.

Inhaling and exhaling, he gently pushes the door open. You’re sitting up in the hospital bed patiently, eyes open wide with curiosity as to who could be visiting you now.

And for some reason, the first thought that comes to his head is that you still looked so pretty.

Even with your messy bed hair and dark circles under your eyes- not the forget the fact that you literally got stabbed a few days ago- jeno can’t take his gaze off you.

If anything, your eyes get even wider once you catch sight of him.

“Jeno?”

He shows a tentative smile. “Y/n?”

Your mouth opens, but then you stop and sit back onto the raised bed with a small humph!, wincing when you fall back a little too hard.

Jeno immediately rushes to your side, examining you and asking if you’re okay.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Still, you refuse to look him in the eye, arms crossed and chin tilted high.

And for good reason.

He sighs, placing the goods he brought on the desk to your side and sitting down in a nearby chair. He repeats your name. But you don’t budge.

“Please look at me,” jeno pleads. Your head turns to him for a split second before looking away again.

“Alright, fine. I’m really sorry.”

You don’t say anything, but he catches your stoic expression faltering.

“And second, thank you. Thank you for saving my life, y/n.”

Your hands drop to your side, and jeno frowns when he sees your picked fingers- he picked up on the habit you did when you were stressed.

Finally, you clear your throat and speak. “You’re welcome. But I don’t accept your apology. It’s been days, and you don’t even visit me once? I was thinking you hated me for-“

He immediately cuts you off. “I would never hate you.”

A puff of air escapes your lips. “Okay, but it still doesn’t explain your behavior.”

“I know, I know,” jeno says, staring down at his lap. “I was just so shocked from it all.”

He bites his lip, voice hoarse.

“But mostly, I felt so guilty. Like I was the bad guy.”

You open your mouth, but no words come out.

“Because I was the reason you got hurt. It was my stupid actions and not paying attention that caused you to get hurt.”

Jeno ducks his head, hands tightly clasped together and eyes squeezed shut. “I’m so sorry, y/n. You could’ve died, and it would’ve been all because of me.“

“Don’t apologize anymore,” you respond sharply.

“It was my decision to take the knife for you, and I would do that over and over again, no questions asked.” Your voice softens, and your hand comes to rest on his, making his eyes snap open and breath hitch.

“Besides, I knew I would be perfectly fine. A knife never stopped me, you know that.”

Jeno glances up and he’s met with your normal happy-go-lucky face and sparkling eyes.

He can’t help but smile back, paying no mind to the quickening pace of his heart.

ꔫ

After that day, jeno tries his best to come in daily to see you. Since your team’s missions were put on hold until you fully recovered, he practically had nothing to do anyway.

Sometimes he would bring snacks or games to entertain you since you complained about how boring it was to stay inside all day. You did protest in the beginning, telling him not to waste his time with you when he could be doing much more important work- but not once did jeno ever think being with you was a waste of time.

And sometimes jaemin would be hanging out with you already, in the middle of telling you a joke that you can’t help but already start giggling at when jeno knocks on the door before coming in with his goodies of the day.

He would pause for a second after seeing you two, a strange uncomfortable feeling rising in his chest, and then you would notice jeno‘s presence and force him to join you and jaemin, the fleeting feeling then forgotten until the next time.

But the moments when jeno comes in and it’s just you there by yourself, he can’t ignore the rush of adrenaline he gets.

It doesn’t fail to occur every time he spots your lovely face, already greeting him with a sparkle in your eyes.

Since when did he start feeling this certain way? Jeno’s worked with you for years, performed countless missions by your side, and somehow, he only realizes it now. After that one fated day, it’s like everything’s changed. And even if it may not seem like it for you, it certainly has for him.

Jeno wonders why he’s never noticed it before. He wonders when the warmth just from being in your presence truly started.

ꔫ

And from then on, you secure a certain and stable spot in jeno’s heart.

At first, he swore it was just because of how selfless you were, bravely running in front of him and saving his life, jeno thought he was just eternally grateful and held a copious amount of admiration for you. But as time goes on and you’re back on your feet, raring to start up tasks again, he can’t deny that it’s not just admiration.

He knows that his heart beats faster and his palms get sweaty whenever you spot him and your face lights up. It’s obvious, right?

Jeno likes you. But the real question was- did you like him back?

It’s about a week since you were released from the infirmary, slowly training and building back up to get in top fit shape and start on missions again like you so desperately wanted to do.

You send jeno a small smile when he joins you at a table, carrying a stack of old papers to file through. It never fails to make jeno blush- and if you notice, you don’t say anything.

There’s a relaxing silence, you munching on a snack as jeno focuses on organizing, the office is weirdly quiet today.

But the silence doesn’t last for long, you jump in your seat when jeno lets out a small hiss of pain, and you glance over to see him holding his finger, eyebrows furrowed.

“Hm? What did you do?”

He looks up at you sheepishly, “paper cut.”

You click your tongue while shaking your head, getting up to walk to your desk a couple of strides away and returning with a band-aid in hand.

Jeno grins when he sees the cute teddy bear pattern on it, he expects no less from you. “Why do you always have bandaids around?” He questions, amused.

“Because I know you guys, and you guys always do dumb stuff like this.”

His mouth drops open, about to object, but abruptly closes it when you gently take his hand, unwrapping the bandaid deftly and wrapping it around the small inflicted wound.

He gulps, watching you work with such concentration on a minor thing like a small paper cut. Your nimble fingers make him feel ticklish, and he resists the urge to squirm from a simple act like this.

Once you finish, you sit back with a satisfied look.

He mutters thanks, and you shake your head with a pout. “Jeno, you need to take care of yourself better.”

And then a hand lands on your head, and you jump, quickly looking around.

Jaemin laughs, easily slipping into the seat next to you. “What’s up?”

You roll your eyes. “Jeno was being careless and- oh! that reminds me, you too jaemin!”

His pleased expression suddenly turns bewildered. “What?”

“You’re never getting enough sleep! -and I can tell cause you were drinking your nasty coffee earlier and the bags under your eyes are-“

You ramble on, continuing to nag at jaemin as he only watches you with an endeared smile.

ꔫ

Today is a bad day. Simply one of those days where you just wake up with that feeling and know that today’s just not it.

But that happens to everyone. It’s common and nothing you haven’t experienced before.

You hope going to work and seeing your friends will cheer you up a little. Spoiler- it doesn’t. Jeno and jaemin are assigned to an easy mission on the field today, and you��re not allowed to go with them. The doctors tell you that you still have to wait at least four more days until you can get back to doing missions with them- no exceptions.

The one thing you so desperately wish to do gets crushed in a matter of seconds.

So yes, today was a bad day.

No amount of protesting will get you out of it, so you’re left to walk out of your boss’s office extremely frustrated and upset.

Jeno and jaemin try to comfort you, sending sympathized looks, but it’s to no avail. You assure them you’ll be fine and force them to get ready instead of worrying about you, left at your desk to pout and mope.

Why can’t you go?

You’re feeling great and better than ever. The mission is so simple. There’s absolutely no reason you can’t go along with them.

Jeno notices you sulking alone, and even though he has to leave with jaemin, he quickly runs out to get some stuff before heading out.

When you get back to your station after going to the bathroom- to just stare at the mirror for no reason in particular, (yes, it was one of those life questioning moments) you find some of your favorite snacks stacked in the middle with a small note on top.

‘cheer up! i know you’ll get through this :) -j ’

You frown, looking around, and your frown deepens when you realize jeno and jaemin left already to go on their fun adventure without you.

You question your desk mates if they saw whoever did this, and they shake their heads. The handwriting was super scrawly and messy- you had no clue whose it was. Obviously, the signed j was a clue, and your mind immediately thinks of either jaemin or jeno. But you guys are so close- why would they leave it at your desk and not just give it to you personally?

You let out another sigh for the 100th time today, angrily ripping open the snack and stuffing a handful in your mouth. It was delicious, of course, and you’re thankful to whoever got this for you, but now there’s another thing you have to do to add to your burdens already. Find out who did this -albeit with good intentions- and pay them back.

And in order not to feel like a complete failure, you stay at the office late, buried in paperwork until everyone else has left and you’re alone. Or so you thought.

You were so focused you completely forgot about jeno and jaemin. Did they come back alright? You figured they probably left you be to not bother you and break your concentration.

Groaning, you get up and stretch, looking around at the dark room and empty desks. You’re about to gather your stuff and leave when you spot a bright pink sticky note on your office wall.

You squint, not remembering anyone leaving that there before, and curiously take it from the wall.

‘man, i wish i could get some ice’

You raise an eyebrow. Is this a prank? Was someone trying to troll you or was it just a mistake?

You want to ignore it and just leave, but curiosity overtakes you. Rereading the note, you contemplate. Ice? The only ice available at the office was from the fridge.

No, you reassure yourself, you’re just being dumb. It’s probably nothing. But still, you find yourself hesitantly making your way to the kitchen area. It never hurt to check, right?

And surprisingly, there’s the same pink sticky note pasted on the fridge door. Eyebrows raised, you quickly take it, not expecting there to actually be another one.

‘i need to find my gear... where could it be?’

You already know the answer. Or at least, you think you do. Everyone stores their gear and equipment at their lockers, no brainer.

You smile triumphantly when you spot the familiar bright pink hanging off a random locker door. Eagerly, you snatch it off and read the contents.

‘ah. i ran out of paper.’

You snort. Whoever wrote these was getting lazy.

To be honest, you had no clue why this was so entertaining to you -it could literally be a prank and lead to nothing for all you know. Nevertheless, it’s an excitement you haven’t had in a while- like your own mission to find out the source of these mysterious notes.

Quickly skipping over to the copy room, you take another note off the printer.

‘it’s cold outside. i want to look out from above.’

You frown. Look out from above? Your eyes travel over the room, looking for any sign of something up high- before it eventually catches on the sign signaling the stairs leading up.

You smack yourself in stupidity. Of course. your building had a rooftop- one you really never had a reason to go to. At least, not until now.

You push past the doors to go up, quickly climbing up two steps at a time to reach the top. Once you see the exit outside, you hesitate.

What if there was nothing? What if you’re luring yourself into a trap?

You shake your head, reassuring yourself it was fine. Even if someone was trying to murder you, you can take care of yourself.

Gently pushing the door open, you peek outside.

The night sky promptly greets you, stars shining brightly above. There are a few lights placed around to brighten the place up, but your attention is focused on the tiny set up in the middle of the rooftop.

It’s not too extravagant, really- just a simple table with two chairs overlooking the city, but small and cute decorations adorn the place.

You cautiously walk over, and you notice a stuffed bunny sitting in one of the chairs. Curious, you move closer to examine it.

It looks like a harmless stuffed bunny, and after a few seconds pass with nothing dangerous happening, you slowly sit down in the other chair across from the toy.

You’re not sure what you’re waiting for, or why this whole setup is here, but you take the chance to glance out and admire the scenery, shivering at the wind blowing past.

It’s cold and windy, but the view is beautiful. The city below you, bright lights, and life just going on as you sit back and watch it all. It’s so peaceful, and for once your mind is clear and blank. You sit down in the other empty chair and stare for some time, not paying attention to your surroundings.

And then a finger pokes your side, and you whip around, body tense and alert until you catch sight of who it is and falter.

“Jaemin?”

“What are you doing here?”

He smiles. “Took you long enough to get here.”

You gasp. “Did you do all this?” You pause, processing everything before looking back up at him in horror. “How long did you wait for me?”

He rolls his eyes. “A long time.” You wince, mouth opening to apologize, but he cuts you off with a chuckle. “I’m joking. After we came back from the mission, it was already kinda late. And then it took some time to set this up, so don’t worry.”

He’s smiling down at you, and it’s contagious. You can’t help but feel the corners of your lips raise as well. Jaemin removes the bunny and sits down in the chair next to you, wordlessly handing it to you.

You examine it, finding it to be quite adorable and soft. You giggle, looking back at him and thinking of his bunny agenda. “Is this supposed to represent you?”

He shoots you a mysterious look back, eyes twinkling. “What do you think?”

You pretend to think, tapping a finger on your chin, “well.... bunnies are cute but-“

“So you think I’m cute?” He waggles his eyebrows.

Your face heats up in embarrassment and you threateningly raise a fist at him, watching as he giggles, enjoying your flustered state a little too much.

“You didn’t let me finish!”

Jaemin’s smile widens, eyes crinkling. “Okay, you can finish now.”

You scoff, turning away from him. “I don’t feel like it anymore,” you grumble.

He laughs again, hand coming to pet the top of your head. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to rile you up so I could see you not looking sad or glum today.”

You look down at your hands, clearing your throat in an attempt to ignore the weird thumping in your chest. “Oh, well... did you really stay back and do all this?”

He shrugs, looking past at the sight below.

“I know it was a rough day for you.”

You swallow, staring at the bunny in your arms. “But you didn’t have to.”

“Plus waiting for me,” you lamely add.

“I wanted to. It’s normal to be sad right now, you know. You have every right to feel upset, so there’s no need to pretend everything’s fine with me. Okay?”

“Yeah,” you clear your throat. “I’m fine now. it was immature of me to be complaining and sulking over people just looking out for me and my health. I feel bad for-“ your voice gets caught in your throat and you bite your lip.

For some reason, you’re embarrassed. Embarrassed because you’re emotional and don’t want to cry right now, so you avert your gaze to the city, sucking in a breath and staring ahead.

Jaemin waits for a little before speaking up.

“You don’t have to talk. We can just sit here. I figured you didn’t want to be lonely. That’s all.”

You feel shy, messing with the fuzzy bunny to distract yourself. Your voice comes out small but you’re still extremely touched. “Thank you nana. You made my day a lot better.”

“Anything for you, y/n.”

You clutch your hand to your chest, over your heart. The night is chilly, but his words keep you warm inside. Strangely, his presence is enough.

You spend some time just sitting there together in silence, admiring the city lights, night sky, everything, and anything. But the day’s events eventually cause you to get sleepy, and jaemin does too.

A giggle escapes you when jaemin yawns right after you do, and he has the audacity to look offended. “Why are you laughing? Yawns are contagious- which means you did this to me.”

You shake your head in amusement, grabbing his hand to tug him up. “Let’s go home and get some rest. We did a lot of work today.”

He groans, getting up and looking around. “How long did we stay out here?”

“I don’t know. But don’t we have to clean all this up?”

“Nah, I can do it tomorrow. It’s late.”

You shoot him a look and he raises his eyebrows. “What?”

“If you’re gonna clean it tomorrow, you better tell me so I can come up and help you.” You glare at him and he playfully salutes.

“Yes sir!”

You’re about to leave the bunny behind and set it neatly on the chair, but jaemin swiftly shoots a hand out, preventing you.

You glance at him, bewildered.

He looks away sheepishly. “Keep it. I got it for you.”

You blink, before letting out a laugh and clutching it tightly to your chest. Cute.

“Okay. I promise.”

ꔫ

How did you get here?

Well, more importantly, why did jeno drunkenly call you?

You show up disheveled- obviously, since he ruined your movie night and his friends basically forced you to come to pick his wasted butt up.

You heave a sigh in defeat, glancing around the tables before finally finding jeno and his buddies.

You try to hide your concern by keeping your arms crossed as you make your way over. The sight of jeno hugging the table while surrounded by his friends laughing at him greets you. “Oh my god- how much did you drink?”

Jeno immediately sits up, eyes gleaming. “You came!”

His friends crowd around him, looking at you with hungry eyes like a predator would at its prey. “So you’re the y/n?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I came. And yes, I’m y/n.” Upon further examination, you frown, noticing jaemin isn’t here. Excluding jeno, it’s all strangers and unfamiliar faces looking back at you. “How did you guys know my name?”

One of them snorts. “Of course we know who jeno’s girlfriend is.”

You scrunch your face up. “What? I’m not his girlfriend.” You look over at jeno for support, but he’s slumped over, cheek flat on the table and mumbling some random things you don’t care to hear.

“Ugh- whatever. Jeno?” You call out, gently shaking his shoulder. “Let's get you home.”

He groans, and with the help of one friend, you get one of his arms across your shoulder, supporting some of his weight.

“Thanks y/n!”

“Sorry, your boyfriend has surprisingly a lower tolerance than we thought.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You grunt -jeno was much heavier than you expected- but it falls on deaf ears as you walk out of the crowded place. Well, all except for jeno’s.

He frowns, looking at you like a hurt puppy, but his tone and voice come out serious. “Is the thought of dating me that bad? Do you think I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend?”

Your mouth drops open as you let go of your hold on jeno and stare at him, wide-eyed.

What?

You exhale in frustration, ignoring his words and quickly blaming it on him being drunk. But he doesn’t budge, staring at you earnestly, and you yank his arm helplessly. “Come on, jeno. We need to get home.”

And with another desperate tug from you, his body unfreezes and staggers closer to you, causing your bodies to be almost pressed together.

Jeno doesn’t seem fazed, while you flinch at the sudden proximity. His stare is strong, eyes searching yours fervently.

“Have you never thought about dating me before?”

A surge of heat rushes through your body and you avoid his intense gaze, stuttering hotly, “W-what are you even talking about?! Ya-just-let’s go.”

You grab his hand and stumble out of the place, into the dark night.

You huff, dragging him over to your car. “Where’s jaemin? Did he not come?”

“I dunno. He said he was busyyy.”

You wonder where jaemin possibly could be, but jeno loses his footing while walking and your thoughts are pushed back to focus on helping him. Somehow, he gets into the passenger seat, and you carefully buckle the seatbelt over him.

Once you get in and onto the road, all without a single word spoken, you glance over to jeno curiously. He stares out the window, looking up at the passing cloudy sky, no moon in sight.

“You know,” you start, “you should drink more responsibly. We have work tomorrow.”

He looks back at you, an unreadable expression on his face. “But when I feel bad, I drink. I drink so I don’t have to think about it.”

You frown. “What’s making you feel bad?”

Jeno shifts in his seat, voice small. “Things. Feelings. They’re confusing. How do you find the answer? How can you tell if what you want is right?”

How can you tell if the person you want wants you back? is what he wishes to say, but he swallows it, keeping it inside for another day.

The ride is silent for some time, leaving his spoken thoughts to simmer until you exhale.

“I don’t know, jeno. I honestly have no clue either.

Once you arrive at his place, you assist him out of the car, barely making it through his door.

He crashes into bed, whining, and you gently tuck him in.

After jeno seems settled, you get up to leave him to rest, but a hand on your wrist prevents you.

You slowly look back. His eyes are still closed, body sprawled out on the bed, but his grip on your arm stays.

“Stay,” he breathes. Whether he’s awake or asleep talking unconsciously, you’re not sure. But you hesitate, staring down at him.

You think jeno falls asleep, breathing slowly evening out and hand loosening its hold on yours before falling to the side. You smile softly, adjusting his blankets and fixing his bangs delicately.

“Cheer up, jeno. I hope you find an answer to whatever’s bothering you.”

And with that, you turn and make your way home without a single look back.

And sometime after you’re gone, one of jeno’s eyes just barely peek open to see an empty room, no sign of you.

Jeno sighs, already falling back under.

How can he tell you that you’re the only answer he needs?

ꔫ

Just two more days until you can get back to missions.

You remind yourself of that, repeating it constantly from the moment you wake up. It’s no surprise you didn’t get good sleep last night- for one, the whole drunk jeno situation. and two, the stuff his friends said.... and what jeno himself said as well.

All the boyfriend talk made you uncomfortable. It’s not like you didn’t want to find the right person for you, at the right time, but it still made you awkward thinking of your friend in a different light you’ve never thought of him in before.

You can’t sleep when his face keeps appearing, words echoing in your brain.

“Have you never thought about dating me before?”

You smack yourself. No. Stop. Enough of that.

In the morning, you busy yourself with paperwork, only stopping when jaemin sneaks up from behind to scare you. It doesn’t work.

You grin, turning around to catch him mid-act. “How many times are you going to try this?”

He pouts, arms dropping to his side. “As many as it takes for me to properly scare you.”

Letting out a huff, you open your mouth to retort back but your sight lands on a very familiar figure entering the office.

When you spot jeno, your mind instantly flashes back to yesterday. His eyes meet yours and you quickly avert your gaze, trying to reimmerse yourself in conversation with jaemin.

Jeno frowns, wondering what the sudden act was for. But at the same time, he was definitely hungover and although you kindly left medicine and water by his bed yesterday night, he was still feeling like crap.

He walks over to you two, and you abruptly tense.

“Hey, y/n, jaemin.”

“Hi.” You cringe, your voice sounding not as casual and natural as you hoped.

Jaemin gets called over to assist a co-worker, and jeno takes the opportunity.

“Thanks about last night. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what my friends were thinking.”

You gulp. “It’s fine. You’re welcome.”

And then you proceed to spin around and pretend to focus on work, your back to him. (As if you had any work left when you stayed back and did it all a few days ago.)

Jeno shrugs, assuming you must be busy or something along the lines of that so he leaves you be. But for the rest of the day, you avoid as much interaction with him as possible. Whenever jeno tries to talk to you, you give short and curt answers back, not trusting what would spill out of your mouth if you spoke anymore.

Around lunchtime, Jeno sits at his desk, spinning in circles and wondering what possibly happened with you. Could it be something he did last night?

He exhales, getting up to grab some water from the kitchen. And lo and behold, you’re already there, filling up your own bottle.

He waits for a second, gauging your reaction, and there’s no way he can mistake the sight of your body stiffening and the way you avoid his gaze.

“Y/n?”

Your grip on the bottle tightens. “Uh-yeah?”

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something last night?”

The sound of the water filtering stops, and you fumble, trying to find the right words.

“Do you not remember?”

He stops, rubbing his temple in irritation. “Not really? I just know you had to come and pick me up. Again, I’m really sorry...”

“Ah.” You feel a slight sense of comfort. So he really doesn’t remember anything he said... “Well, it’s nothing, your friends just said some weird things, and I-“

He quickly interrupts you, ears turning pink. “Listen, ignore anything I or my friends said last night. A lot of nonsense comes out of our mouths when we’re drunk, so I fully apologize on their behalf. I can talk to them and-”

You internally heave a huge sigh of relief when he says that, heart somewhat at ease now.

“No-no, it’s alright...,” you fiercely shake your head.

“Oh, okay.” Jeno’s hand comes up to scratch the back of his neck self-consciously.

You finally allow yourself to relax, noticing his messy hair and biting your lip to hold back a laugh. “Jeno- did you do your hair this morning?”

You reach to fix the stray hairs, patting some flyaways down, when his hand shoots up, grabbing your wrist and stopping you effectively.

You freeze, smile slowly falling while staring at jeno in shock and confusion, his hand still keeping yours on top of his head in place. Jeno looks back at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

One beat.

Two beats.

You swallow.

“Jen?” You ask tentatively.

He snaps out of it, blushing and removing his grip from your wrist, causing your arm to fall back down at your side.

“Oh-yeah. Sorry. I’ll get going now. Good luck with your work today.” He dashes off, leaving you to stand there alone.

You shiver, brushing over the spot where he held your wrist. What was that all about?

ꔫ

After lunch, you decide to stop by jaemin’s desk, wanting to ask if he’s attending the party tomorrow night.

You eagerly roll your chair over, wheels squeaking against the carpeted floor.

“Hey jaem-“

Your chair comes to a slow.

You find Jaemin at his desk, using his arms as a pillow as he sleeps peacefully, head turned to the side and slow breaths huffing in and out.

You quietly laugh to yourself. Scooting closer, you allow yourself to watch him for a second, glad that he was getting some rest instead of constantly working, helping other people out at work, or helping others by volunteering.

You unconsciously lean closer, fingers lightly brushing his hair from his face and watching his body peacefully rise and fall.

Jaemin was always the person everyone went to for assistance. Everyone adored jaemin. You wonder why he’s never dated anyone in the time you’ve known him- he and jeno were always popular and well-liked.

You fall into a daze watching him, just from how peaceful he looks, losing track of the time.

And then his eyes shoot open, and you jump back slightly, startled.

He doesn’t move from his position, just simply staring back at you, and for a second you can do nothing but stare back.

And then he breaks into a sleepy but still amused grin, apples of his cheeks protruding clearly.

“How long have you been awake?” You ask slowly, cautiously.

“How long have you been staring at me?” He counters back.

You let out an embarrassing sound, scooting back.

“Doesn’t matter. It was just shocking to see you getting some rest for once.”

He raises an eyebrow but you ignore it, attempting to get back on topic. “Anyways, are you going to the party tomorrow?”

“What party?” Jaemin asks bluntly.

You should’ve guessed that he didn’t know. “Our division’s hosting a party tomorrow at 7. To celebrate the 8th anniversary or something like that. It’s supposed to be fun though. Are you going?”

He purses his lips, running through his mental schedule and future plans. “I suppose I can.”

You fake a gasp. “The na jaemin actually has time to go to a party?”

He jokingly pushes your chair away from him in revenge, but it’s so sudden that you jerk and lose your balance in the seat, about to tip the chair and fall over.

Thank goodness for his overly trained reflexes that allow him to lunge forward and catch the sides of your chair, safely stabilizing it while he’s positioned over you.

You quickly glance up at him, heart racing and adrenaline pumped. It doesn’t get better when you notice his arms caging you in.

Jaemin’s concerned expression meets your shocked one, and when he asks if you’re okay, you simply can’t function, opting to just gaze up at him with wide eyes.

“-y/n???”

You come back to your senses, rapidly nodding and ignoring the rest of his worried questions. Returning to your desk, you bang your head against the hard surface, mind jumbled. You just need a break from men.

It feels like forever until it’s finally time to go home. Your body feels sluggish and brain fried as you make your way out the door. Locating your car, you somehow spot the two people you really don’t want to see after what happened earlier -with the both of them.

You recoil, quickly avoiding jeno and jaemin like a frightened mouse and speedwalking over to your car. Once you get in, you let out a sigh of relief, finally getting a chance alone to think about today’s developments.

Is it just you, or are jeno and jaemin acting so strange recently- especially after you got stabbed?

Before, you would’ve said that your teammates were the people you could trust with anything and everything. But lately, they’re the two people that have been driving you crazy.

You rub your eyes in defeat. Everything’s confusing- it feels like everything’s changed.

But one question remains.

How exactly?

ꔫ

Ryujin drags you along next to her, ignoring your complaints about the outfit she chose for you.

She worked in a different division from you, meaning you didn’t get to see her often, though you were still able to keep in contact. It felt like meeting up with an old friend occasionally, there were never any awkwardness or boring moments.

And somehow, she managed to sneak her way into your division’s party. (popular people things, you grumbled.)

“It feels like we’re going to a college party again.”

You shake your head. “Don’t remind me of those.”

You fiddle with your clothes for the nth time, ryujin having picked an outfit you would’ve never worn on your own accord.

“I’m regretting letting you choose what to wear for me.”

She only laughs. “Yeah-well, too late now! Besides, you look really good, so who cares?”

“Me!”

Ryujin ignores you, glancing around at the apartment doors and looking for the right number.

“Ah, here it is. Number 55.”

You knock on the door, and it slowly opens to reveal one of your coworker's apartment.

There’s a fair amount of people already there, chatting away or dancing to the subtle music.

Good, at least it wasn’t like those cringy college parties with ear-deafening music and the stench of pure alcohol filling the place.

Your eyes travel across the room, taking it all in.

“Are you looking for him?” Ryujin teases, nudging your side. Your eyes flick back to her, a confused look in them. “What do you mean?”

She rolls her eyes, “Who else would I be talking about? Obviously-

She gets cut off by lia, running over to the two do you with a squeal.

“Y/n, you look so pretty!!”

You shake your head, embarrassed.

“I’m surprised you didn’t come with jeno and jaemin,” she remarks.

Your mouth opens. That’s right, you totally forgot about them. Searching around, you finally spot both of them playing beer pong with a couple more of your coworkers.

Smiling, you excuse yourself to greet them.

“Getting the party started without me?” You tease, walking over to the table.

Everyone turns at the sound of your voice. Jaemin, mid-shot about to throw the ball, stops when he sees you.

Jeno swallows, eyes taking in your appearance.

You frown at the lack of response. “Guys?”

Immediately, everything resumes. They all greet you, and jeno hands you a cup.

“It’s light, don’t worry.” You nod in thanks, taking a sip.

He suddenly feels hot, hands picking at his shirt. “You look really good.”

You roll your eyes. “Sure, it’s probably just because you’ve only ever seen me in my work clothes or pajamas.”

Jeno shakes his head shyly. “I mean it.”

The air suddenly feels weird, so you shuffle a bit, clearing your throat.

“Oh. Thanks, I guess?”

The party resumes with you hanging out with the boys and occasionally talking to other friends. But it’s been a while since you’ve gone out like this, and eventually, you start to feel a bit overwhelmed.

Jeno and jaemin quickly take notice of your quiet behavior and short replies.

Jaemin nudges your side softly. “Are you okay?”

You feel yourself faintly nod, trying your best to take a deep breath. “Yeah, it’s just a little stuffy in here.”

At your words, jeno and jaemin both start, immediately offering you water at the same time.

You hesitate, staring down at both of their outstretched hands.

“Uh,” you awkwardly laugh, getting up. “It’s alright. I’m just gonna go to the restroom....”

You don’t. You walk over to the kitchen, quickly obtaining and downing a glass of water with a satisfied exhale at the end. And then, instead of returning to the rest of the group, you take a detour to the balcony, quietly stepping out into the cold night and shutting the door behind you.

Jeno gets increasingly worried. It’s been like 15 minutes and you still haven’t returned. He asks jaemin, and he only shrugs, saying something about how you probably needed some space.

But it’s not a good enough answer for him, so jeno goes to check the bathroom, and as expected, you’re not there.

And in fact, you’re not anywhere inside as far as his he can tell. Anxious, he begins to go around, asking a few people if they’ve seen you. Most of them shake their heads, stating unhelpful information referring to your location.

But eventually, while waking his way past the kitchen, he hears your voice. It comes from outside, past the door that leads to the balcony.

Jeno stops, listening for a second. He can pick up on another person’s voice along with yours- he believes it’s your friend - the one whose name started with an R?

Your voices are faint, and he quietly leans in closer to the door, holding his breath and praying you don’t notice his presence.

“-you like him, huh?”

He hears your soft voice. “Again? What are you talking about, Ryu?”

Right, he thinks. Your friend's name was ryujin.

“Don’t act oblivious. You two have been teammates for so long now- I can tell.”

Then jeno hears noises that he assumes are you getting flustered and he has to hold back a laugh.

But then the sounds of shuffling suddenly start, and jeno barely hides away past the corner -thank his spy training.

Jeno presumes that ryujin gets up and heads back inside, closing the door and leaving you alone again.

He counts 15 seconds before walking over to the door and gently opening it. He’s greeted by the sight of you, staring up at the sky, and his breath is stolen away once again.

But you turn at the noise, relaxing when you spot jeno.

“Oh. Hey. What’s up?”

He hums, sitting in the chair next to you. “I didn’t know where you went.”

“But you found me,” you remark dryly.

“....where’s jaemin?”

Jeno shrugs, having forgotten about jaemin in his quest to find you.

Maybe the tranquil silence between you two and the breathtaking sight in front of him is what causes him to reflect on everything.

“Y/n,” he speaks up after a while.

You nod, waiting for him to continue.

“I know I’ve said this a bunch of times, but thank you for saving me.”

“Didn’t I already tell you to let that go?” You joke.

“Yeah, but I want to keep saying it because I truly mean it. I’ll always be grateful because of what you did. I still feel terrible for not paying attention-“

You place a hand over his, and he falters.

You don’t look at him though, gaze still locked in front of you. “I already accepted your apology, jeno...”

“But am I still allowed to feel horrible about that time I practically forced you to come and pick a drunk me up?”

You giggle, removing your hand from his, and jeno unconsciously frowns at the loss of contact.

“If it makes you feel any better, then sure. But....” you start.

He nods, gesturing for you to keep going.

“What was bothering you that night? You said you drank so much because you felt bad.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” you quickly add.

Jeno exhales a long breath through his nose. He debates internally, switching back and forth between the options.

Is there any way for him to say that he likes you? That jeno likes you- a lot?

And that he doesn’t know if you like him back?

Sometimes, he thinks the smiles you send him are special, different from the ones you give to others. Or whenever he thinks about the time you took care of him, helped him, sacrificed your life for him, he believes it could be something more.

But at the same time, jeno doubts himself. He can’t help but wonder if you really do feel the same way or if it’s just you being you. You’re always smiling at everyone, helping others out whenever you got the chance- being the selfless, admirable person you are.

He stayed up countless nights, replaying and overanalyzing all the interactions you had with him throughout the day, wondering, hoping, wishing.

“I like someone,” jeno finally speaks.

But before you can react, he continues. “And I don’t know if they like me back.”

He looks down at the ground, his voice quiet. “Because I’m just me, you know? There's honestly nothing special about me. I can’t even work up the courage to confess- what would they even like about me?”

“She probably doesn’t even like me back,” he finishes.

You wait, letting his words fully sink in.

And then you let out a short, dry laugh, and he quickly glances up at you, bewildered at your low tone- a sudden change in the air surrounding you.

“Is this really what was bothering you that night?”

“-are you really doubting yourself, lee jeno? Did you forget how great of a person you are? How hardworking and strong you are? How kind and thoughtful you are? You’re a good guy, and anyone would be a fool not to see that.”

Your eyes hold a certain intensity to them, never once breaking eye contact with his.

Maybe you said something else, maybe you weren’t done talking, but jeno isn’t sure.

He suddenly felt a rush of hope when you were speaking -at the look on your face when you talked about him so seriously and with so much conviction.

So much to the point where he can’t stop himself.

It’s like his body has a mind of its own, forcing Jeno to lean in towards you, face coming much closer to yours.

You trail off, noticing his sudden bold move. He doesn’t say anything, eyes flicking down to your lips.

Your breath hitches.

You don’t know how to react to the sudden intimacy, so you simply stop, body locking up and heart thundering in your chest.

Jeno brings you closer as your eyes widen, not a single part of you moving as you internally panic.

“Hey, who’s out here-“

Jeno falters, eyes flying open.

You take the chance to scoot back, breathless, and quickly get up to meet the eyes of the person who burst outside and essentially ruined the moment.

Thank god it wasn’t any of your friends- just the apartment’s owner who simply wanted to know who was outside.

After quickly explaining, it’s a golden opportunity for you to get the heck out of there, internally thanking them for coming out at that moment.

Quickly apologizing, you make your escape, fumbling past the door and back into the party, looking for your belongings and searching for the exit.

You don’t bothering telling anyone about your departure, instead coming face to face with a confused ryujin, to which you explain that you’re tired (not a lie) and need to go back home and make sure you didn’t get robbed (also not entirely a lie, you really had no clue if you locked your doors or not).

And with that, you clumsily put your shoes on and push past her, ignoring the startled protests and questions.

Your mind is buzzing, the alcohol not helping one bit.

As you continue on the path back to the comforting solidarity of your home, you can’t help but think back to what occurred earlier.

What just happened?

You don’t even want to imagine it, but it seemed like jeno was trying to...

kiss you.

maybe? right?

You run a hand over your face, having an internal crisis.

Hah, no way.

Was he just that drunk? Like that one time you had to pick him up?

Should you just disregard what happened this time as well?

Are you making a big deal out of nothing? Was it just an accident and you misunderstood his intentions?

Everything feels so overwhelming and confusing, once you get home, you immediately collapse into bed and force yourself to fall asleep and not have to think about it anymore.

And it’s very much a good thing that you did because your boss sends you and the boys on a mission the next evening.

And yeah, maybe you were still feeling like crap and hungover, but it was your first mission after getting stabbed. Even when you’ve been on countless missions- ones much harder than the one you were about to embark on- you still felt the nervousness and anxiety to perform well and succeed in your stomach.

And luckily, or maybe not so luckily, you didn’t have any time to discuss what occurred last night between you and jeno.

He stays quiet the whole ride, and you’re not sure whether to be grateful or concerned.

Jaemin worriedly asks you about where you went last night, and you shrug, saying something about how you were tired and wanted to go home early.

The atmosphere in the car is weird, and you want to blame it on the fact that it’s been a while since you’ve been out as a team, but you all know it’s more than that.

Shutting your eyes shut, you decide to put it all away for now.

This was your job, and you couldn’t let personal matters get involved.

“You guys ready?” jaemin asks, and the three of you share a look before you nod.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

The driver pulls up, and it’s strangely giving you a sense of deja vu when you get out of the car and into the dark and windy night, as well as an ominous feeling, like something horrible was going to happen- but you brushed it off and blamed it on your nerves.

You recall the words of your boss- just look around the area for anything suspicious and report back. Fortunately, you’re outside at an abandoned plaza, a large lake in the middle of it, making the location seem much bigger than it was.

Your instincts immediately come back as you glance around, taking in your surroundings.

The area was suspected to be taken over by an unidentified group working against your organization, so you decided to split up and cover more ground to search for anything fishy.

“Jaemin, I think you can search the general outside area, around the lake and stuff.”

He nods at your words, adjusting his earpiece.

“I’ll go near the bridge,” jeno murmurs and you exhale, still taking in your surroundings.

“Alright, let’s go.”

And before you can make any moves, you feel both of your hands being grabbed, your body getting tugged in opposite directions.

You let out a small yelp in surprise, glancing around to find jeno having taken one of your hands to pull you one way while jaemin did the same with your other hand, pulling you the opposite way in his direction.

There’s an awkward moment as they realize what they both just did.

And still, a few seconds pass while you glance back and forth between the two and neither jaemin nor jeno have yet to let go of you.

Nervously laughing, you shake off both of their hands, muttering, “I’ll just go to that building over there... y-you know, by myself....”

As quick as possible, you make your escape (once again) briskly walking away from your teammates while still keeping an eye out.

There’s nothing suspicious around, but you still have an unsettled feeling in your stomach that won’t go away, no matter how much you reassure yourself.

Walking out of the building, you catch sight of jeno. You still, awkwardly standing in the doorway and debating whether to go over to him or hide- even when there was absolutely no reason to be hiding from him.

Either way, you don’t get to decide as he spots you and frantically heads your way, looking panicked, which immediately sets you off.

Breathless, he runs towards you, and you tense, examining his current condition.

“What? What is it jeno?”

He takes a quick glance around before pulling you back inside the building urgently as you stammer indignantly.

“There are guys,” he gasps. “Spotted them coming this way.”

You curse, trying to hide from the open spots through the building’s windows.

“That’s not it,” jeno adds, voice lowering to a whisper. “It’s the same gang from before.”

Your eyes widen as you press a hand to your mouth to keep yourself quiet.

“How many?”

Jeno blinks. “At least seven.”

“What are we going to do?” Your heart rate quickens as you remember your other teammate.

“Shoot, what about jaem? He’s still out there- does he know?”

Jeno lets out a frustrated sigh. “No- I spotted you first and quickly tried to get us to hide. I totally forgot.”

Exhaling, you press your earpiece, speaking softly,

“Jaem. Jaemin? Can you hear us?”

The two of you wait patiently, but there’s no response.

You repeat his name, and so does jeno.

There’s nothing.

Your anxiety increases and jeno softly squeezes your arm to comfort you.

“I’m sure jaemin’s fine, he can take care of himself.”

You frown, head snapping up to him. “How do you know that? Jaemin might not have any clue and those guys could easily spot him wandering around. He could get ambushed and since there’s more than-“

You get interrupted by the sound of approaching voices, apprehension striking you through the heart.

It takes everything in you not to make a sound as jeno pulls you closer to him, lessening the space between you and also the chance of anyone spotting your figure just barely peeking out.

You close your eyes, the sound of your soft breaths filling the air as you just focus on the feeling of his hand on your back, the noises from the people passing by getting fainter and fainter.

Once you confirm the coast is clear, you immediately back away, ignoring how jeno clears his throat and running a hand through your hair in stress.

You could always attack, you had no doubt in your abilities, but there was no telling how many more guys there were and if it would blow your cover or not.

“Are you sure there were seven?”

He frowns. “As far as I could tell...”

You squeeze your eyes shut, muttering, “I know we could take them on, but- there’s no telling if they have backup or if they’re planning to do something here at this time or not.”

Jeno nods solemnly, cautiously moving towards a window and peeking out as you continue to try and contact jaemin.

“It’s hard to tell,” he whispers, “but I think they’re leaving.”

Your eyes fly open, silently making your way to the window to glance out. You squint, the darkness obscuring your vision of the shadowy figures outside.

But jeno seems to be right, they seem to be packing up and leaving- although you’re not quite sure what they came here to do in the first place.

It feels like forever- waiting for them to slowly leave the area, plus a few extra minutes to confirm.

You pick at your hands anxiously, waiting. Where was jaemin? Did he get hurt? Why was he not responding?

Jeno finally gives the okay, and you leap to your feet, not caring anymore and bursting your way out of the building.

Gasping for air, you frantically search the whole area, running all around the place and calling for jaemin as jeno struggles to keep up with you- pleading for you to slow down a little.

You pay no heed to his words, the wind blowing your hair past and head whipping from side to side as you call out, voice hoarse, “Jaemin?”

You hear a faint shuffle, and your eyes zero in the spot near the fountain, where some benches are.

Your legs work on their own accord, bringing you closer as you call for jaemin once again.

You hear a muffled response, and adrenaline rushes through you.

Jaemin squeezes out from between one of the benches and a large positioned rock, looking albeit a little shaken but otherwise seeming unharmed and normal.

And for some reason, you can’t control yourself, running over to him and placing your hands on his face, sides, everywhere.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?”

He swallows. “I’m alright. I spotted those guys luckily before they spotted me, and somehow found this spot to hide. It was good that they stopped pretty close to where I was hiding- I was able to hear some of their conversations.”

You bristle. “It was good? How could it be good when you almost got spotted?

You hear jeno come up from behind, catching his breath from chasing after you. “Thank goodness you’re safe- why didn’t you answer us through the earpiece?”

Jaemin shrugs. “I couldn’t make any noise or else they would find me.”

You scoff, crossing your arms. “Yeah, well you could’ve done at least something. We had no idea what could’ve happened to you- if you got hurt or needed help!”

They both look surprised at your outburst. Jaemin raises an eyebrow. “ Chill y/n, I’m alright. You don’t have to be so worried-“

“How can I not be so worried when I almost lost you?” Your chest heaves and your fists are clamped tightly in balls to contain your frustration at his reaction to this situation.

How could he be so calm about this?

Jeno watches from the side, speechless.

Jaemin takes a step closer to you, confused and still a little shocked, and you take one back while staring furiously back at him.

“Lost me?” Y/n, you wouldn’t have lost me, because you know I can take fend for myself. These kinds of things happen all the time on our missions, I don’t get why you’re so worked up over this-“

“Because I have feelings for you, idiot!”

Oh.

There it was.

You inhale sharply, turning around and furiously stalking away. To where- you’re not sure, but you do know that you just need to get away from this place.

Jeno and jaemin stand there, unsure of what to do or say.

But jeno wasn’t unsure of what to say. He simply had nothing to say at all.

He wants to go after you, starting in your direction, but jaemin’s oddly quiet and low voice stops him.

“Don’t. Leave her alone for a while.”

And the tone in his voice tells jeno that jaemin wants to be left alone for a while too as he eventually stalks off.

Jeno stands there, alone, wondering if this was how it was really meant to be.

ꔫ

You walk for a long time.

A long time back to your place. Somehow, you do it.

There’s a lot of things that fuel your stamina.

Anger, frustration, confusion.

For one, you had absolutely no idea why you just randomly shouted out in a fit of anger that you liked jaemin.

Because you weren’t even sure if you did or not.

And of course, the whole jeno situation as well.

You’ve never thought of jeno differently before- in a romantic way before.

And when he almost kissed you?

They both make your head hurt, spin in circles until you can’t think straight anymore.

Since when did things change?

Since when did all these feelings get involved and complicate your entire relationship with each other?

You feel tired, your legs taking you back to the one place you want to go back to, the place where you can be alone.

Once you miraculously make your way to your familiar home, the sight seeming so much more welcoming than it ever did, you collapse into bed, feeling the most exhausted you’ve ever felt.

It’s the only thing you can do now- simply because you don’t want to do anything else.

And the next morning, you avoid everyone’s calls, concerned messages wondering about where you are and why you haven’t gone to work this morning.

Instead, you decide to do what you do best. Ignore everyone and shut yourself out from the world.

You do contact your boss and tell him that you’re taking a short break for personal reasons- even when you just returned back to your job.

And answer when ryujin texts you, blowing up your phone the second she found out you were “taking a break”.

Ryu (7:36am): what’s going on

Ryu (7:36am): why are you suddenly not going to work

Ryu (7:37am): y/n

Ryu (7:37am): answer me

Ryu (7:38am): answer

you (8:02am): I can’t believe im saying this

you (8:02am): But

Ryu (8:03am): omg you’re alive

you (8:04am): Boy problems

Ryu (8:04am): what

you (8:04am): Yeah

you (8:05am): That’s it

Ryu (8:05am): wait huh with who tho

you (8:06am): ...

Ryu (8:07am): oh

Ryu (8:07am): oh no

You turn your phone off for the rest of the day, feeling conflicted.

Was it childish of you to just cancel work to avoid two guys?

Was it childish to run away from your feelings?

You get an answer that night- in the form of a knock at your door.

You lazily get up, casually swinging the door open with no regard for who was behind it.

Once you get a glimpse of who it is, you stop in your tracks, heart stopping as you stare at him.

“-What are you doing here?”

He stares at you with desperate eyes. Those eyes. When you were stabbed. When you were upset from being stuck on bed rest and not able to do anything. When you were alone and he was there to comfort you.

With the same eyes you’ve probably looked at him with a million times before- you’ve just never realized until recently.

And then his lips on are yours, and you automatically entangle your hands into his hair.

The door shuts behind him with a frantic slam, effectively sealing the plans for your night.

ꔫ

Spending days away from everyone and everything allowed you to really reflect on everything that happened in the past month.

Getting stabbed, taking a break from work, finding out what was really hidden deep inside you- what was what you needed and wanted.

You were grateful to have the best teammates, ones that were selfless and always took care of you.

Especially now, after you got hurt and suspended from work, you were still grateful and appreciative of both jeno and jaemin.

Even when certain things and situations confused you, brought new feelings and secrets arise, you would never change a thing.

And when you sneak a glance to the guy still sleeping peacefully by your side, arms wrapped around tightly around you like he’s afraid you would escape or leave, you take the chance to look at him- truly look at him and all his features in a way you’ve always done before, but could never figure it out.

You always admired that jaemin was always the one taking care of everyone else- always selfless and thinking of others.

Always understanding and knowing what to do.

He’s always there.

And it took a lot more for you to realize that’s what you wanted, and that maybe the two of you are more alike than you thought.

Maybe you do like jaemin. Maybe you’ve liked jaemin for a long time and just never realized it.

And maybe you just want to love on him back a little.

(but just remove all the previous maybes.)

ꔫ

Jeno’s surprised to see you return to work that day- although late, but still here nonetheless.

You look much better and lively- he wonders what could’ve happened. (even when deep down, he already knows what must’ve happened.)

It’s hard to ignore the private whispers and looks that you and jaemin share, like you have a secret or inside joke that only jeno doesn’t know about, but obviously, it‘s just further proof that there’s something going on between you two.

And it’s hard to hide his true emotions in front of you and pretend that everything’s okay.

Pretend that you and jaemin together weren’t killing him on the inside and the fact that you’ve only ever thought of jeno as a friend wasn’t true.

Jeno so desperately wished that he realized he always liked you for a long time before, maybe even since the beginning.

Maybe things would have been different. Maybe if he knew earlier and told you sooner, you wouldn’t have discovered and revealed your feelings for jaemin.

Jeno also wishes that he knew that you never returned his own feelings at that time. Right when you jumped in front of him and said those five words the day you almost lost your life.

And yet, the smile on your face and sparkle in your eyes directed towards jeno is the same- maybe even a bit brighter now as he was all too familiar with the looks and laughs you sent his way before.

He wishes he knew it didn’t mean anything, and he didn’t fall for that smile.

Like the one, you’re sending to him now.

“Hey jeno, we’re gonna go grab some food. Wanna come?”

He grimaces and shakes his head, muttering some excuse about how he needs to watch his caloric intake.

It wasn’t that -he would gladly take food any day. But his appetite was gone. And to be honest, it had been for a while.

As he watches you walk off with jaemin, hands lovingly intertwined, that’s when he realizes it.

Yes, you might’ve saved jeno’s life, and you might’ve even been the love of his life -if he truly thought about it- but he was never yours.

And he never would be.

a/n: the fact that i had to use a random decider to choose the ending bc nomin things :) anyways if you made it to the end then ty for reading

taglist: @skrtbabe

reminder- any kind of feedback is always appreciated :)

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newtonsheffield · 4 years ago

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Hey Molly! Thank you for putting in so much effort. Your fans and friends (yep, I am both a fan and a friend) love you for it! Your headcanons are so much fun! I was thinking of (another) one and thought I'd message you: Pregnant Kate wakes up in the middle of the night to hear Anthony whispering to her baby bump. (Very fluffy, I know. I apologise to the angst-lovers lurking on this tumblr)

Well Hello there friend!

I’m not sure I consider myself as someone that has “fans” per-say, that implies some amount of talent on my behalf which, you may be able to see from my absolutely haphazard writing style, there is none. Talent? In the words of the great Mariah Carey: I don’t know her. But it seems I do have a lot of friends on here so I’m very glad to have you all!

This is a very fluffy prompt, but I’ve been writing about Kate’s grief this week and Ladies (I’m fairly sure there are no gentleman here but if there are Welcome) it’s been rough. Poor Katie Sheffield is really going through it. So I really needed this! As always: 😘

Kate awoke suddenly one night in the sixth month of her first pregnancy, to darkness all around her. Awareness slowly drifting back in as she glanced at the clock on her nightstand 2:47. She let out a light huff. She’d been sleeping poorly of late, the baby moving around like a trapeze artist in the middle of the night. She could feel a warm hand pressed against her stomach, but no warmth pressed to her back as it usually was. She was just about to turn around, and make sure Anthony wasn’t sleeping at the foot of the bed with Newton like the ridiculous watchdog he’d turned into the last month when she heard it.

Anthony’s soft, velvety voice murmuring across the darkness.

“You have been giving your mother quite a rough time lately, little sprout.” He was saying softly, his hand starting to rub soft circles against where the baby lay curled in her stomach. Kate bit her lip, trying to stay as still as possible. She felt the bed shift as Anthony lay back down beside her, and let her eyelids flutter closed, not wanting to interrupt whatever her husband was saying.

“And we love Mummy very very much little one, so we don’t want to do that. She might realise Daddy’s not worth it after all and then where would we be?” Kate felt her heart clench at the softness in Anthony’s voice as much as his words. “I’m so excited to meet you. Daddy thought he’d never get to have this, and then Mummy came along and stomped on his foot and that was it I’m afraid. Your mother is so strong and incredible, and beautiful and I can’t wait for you to be just like her.” He whispered sleepily, his voice a little incredulous. Kate felt a flutter against her stomach as the baby kicked at his hand. She felt Anthony chuckle behind her, tears welling up in her eyes at their tiny little family.

“I love you too little sprout.” Anthony said happily and then “I know you’re awake, Kate you haven’t snored in minutes, but thank you for letting me finish.” Anthony laughed and her heart clenched and even though her heart was bursting with love for this ridiculous man she choked out.

“Surprising I know, since letting you finish is how I got into this sleep deprived mess in the first place.”

#bridgerton and sons au #kathony #anthony x kate #anthony bridgerton #kate sheffield #pregnant kate #molly's asks and answers

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years ago

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What will daddy Henry do if his little is sad because someone took something valuable from her?

So i wanst sure what to base this on entirely, so I'm going to go with something I went through over the last few weeks. I had a little bit of anon hate, which I deleted but the words stuck with me making me second guess everything i was working on and the confidence i had in my writing was taken away. so this is like a shameful self indulgent fantasy that im going to read to myself when ever im down.

Warnings: Pretty Personal For Me, Angsty, Fluffy, Self Doubt, Happy Ending, DDLG, Long!!

Tagging: @viking-raider @isitmine @tinabean37 @loserrlauraa @msblkfire84 @henrythickcavill @plainbrunettelbl @dummiesshort @cynic-spirit @pandaxnienke @two-unbeatable-beaters @libbymouse @wolfieash @eldarwen333 @princesssterek @mom2000aggie @blackestpinkworld

(not sure who to tag in headcannons? these are the ones on my everything taglist)

Henry watched quietly with a frown as you sat down in the living room, eyes cast down at the tablet in front of you shoulders slumped.

"poppet what's wrong love?"

"n-nothing da-addy" you said with a small stutter

Henry shifted on his feet looking at you critically before coming over to you.

"nothing? So your sitting here almost in tears over nothing" he stated sceptically rounding the sofa sitting next to you.

"I'm not cryin" you sniffled trying to bite your lower lip to stop it from wobbling.

"not yet, but close enough poppet, hand it over" he said holding out his hand waiting for the tablet.

You whined not wanting to hand it to him at first but after a mini battle of wills you placed the colourful tablet in his hand.

Your head was cast down and you rubbed your eyes trying to catch the tears before they were noticeable.

"okay then, so this is your new story?" he asked scrolling through the page not reading it all but scanning the words, it was well written like always.

At the beginning of the pandemic he suggested you started a blog, and you had. A writing blog all full of fanfictions of... Him.

He didn't mind he actually love you doing something constructive, it kept you happy and busy which helped him because there wasn't many free days even in lockdown. He was working out, reading scripts or rearranging covid tests and travel.

Plus knew these smut blogs existed, even lurked on a few.

"y-yeah" you mumbled leaning on him hugging his arm scanning the page as he scrolled, you knew he wasn't reading everything maybe every few lines

"sooo what's the problem?" he said not finding an issue with the writing.

"i... I cant post it" you muttered looking down avoiding his gaze

"why?" he asked frowning not liking the defeated tone you had.

"j-just because..."

"ah I see, you have lost your confidence" he said quickly figuring out the problem, the downside to writing was everything was personal preference so tiny comments could knock your confidence.

In a way it was like his work, you put your heart and soul into it and then people don't like it? It was always a bummer. But he was used to it, you were not.

You nodded to him it was true you'd lost your confidence, you hadn't wrote for a while.

You couldn't seem to find the words to fit together anymore.

You felt silly, they were just a few mean comments, words from a nasty troll who didn't have anything better to do but it hurt, you poured your heart into every chapter and then for people to rip it to shreds? It stung.

"y-yes I... They didn't like it" you hummed fiddling with your fingers, drawing deep breaths trying not to cry

"and so what?" he said shrugging making you snap your gaze to him.

"wha?"

"it doesn't matter love, so a few people didn't like it, lots of people do, I love your stories"

"you have to your my daddy"

Henry huffed and shook his head at you ruffling your hair pressing a kiss to your head amused that you thought that's the only reason he liked your writing.

"don't stop writing just because of a few mean people nugget, it takes a lot of skill to write and a lot of bravery to share it. Your a brave talented little baby and I'm very proud of you"

He said cooing as that seemed to be the final push sending you over the edge making you burst out into tears.

He hugged you moving the tablet out of the way before pulling you to his lap, unbuttoning his shirt half way and squished you into his bare chest knowing you needed to feel him, not a shirt.

"shh its okay babygirl, your stories are wonderful, and you have fun writing them don't you baby?"

You nodded crying harder trying to get the words out but you just couldn't instead whining incoherently into him.

"and you enjoy making the little banners? And collect all your photos and gifs?"

"y-yeah but they di-dn't like it last time!"

"they don't have to like everything you do sweety"

"but I don't wana upset them!"

"did you do the warnings?" he asked knowing all about the do's and don'ts of posting your erotica.

You nodded whining you always did warnings on stuff to be safe.

"and make the little cut thingy you were telling me about?" again you nodded at him

"so your telling me they read the warnings, clicked to see it and then were mean?" you sniffled biting your lip trying to calm down but nodded to him humming quietly.

"well then it sounds to me like they were going out of their way, looking for someone to pick on" he said slowly rocking you slightly.

You fell quiet resting your head on his chest as he rubbed your back and patted your bottom soothing you.

"but what if they wasn't? What if my stories are bad- and encourage bad stuff!" you cried tucking yourself into him tighter.

"no-no you repeat after me, fiction is fiction" he said pulling you back wiping your tears waiting for you to say it out loud.

"fic-tion is f-fiction" you repeated

"I did everything I could to warn people"

"I-I did everyth-ing I could to w-warn people" he smiled at you as you drew a huge breath calming yourself down.

"and they are jealous because I'm an adorable, smart, funny kind and caring babygirl who has the cutest little peach butt in the world~" he said smirking at you from above holding you tightly to him pressing a kiss to your head.

"and they- daddy! Noo! I can't say that~" you gasped flushing as you realised what he had said

"oh yes you can because its the truth now come here let daddy bite that peach~" he growled playfully snapping his jaws at you.

"ah-no!" you screeched giggleing as he began tickling you all over wrestling you playfully trying to lean over and bite your but through your shorts.

He landed two solid bite's on your bottom before pulling back. Even though he had cheered you up he could see you were still doubting yourself.

Henry cast a glance to the tablet and smirked forming a plan that might just get you back on track. He was not going to let anyone steal your sparkle.

"come on you you've spent enough time writing go play in the garden with Kal"

Once you left henry got to work swiping up the tablet and going on your one drive seeing the meticulously organized notebooks, recognising a few by name.

A few weeks later Henry came in to the living room with a medium size box and plopped it on the sofa next to you.

"here we go nugget!" he said placing the gift next to you, they couldn't have come quickly enough, he had noticed you hadn't been writing at all, which upset him because he knew how much you loved it.

"what's that daddy?" you asked peering over the box not expecting any gifts.

"why don't you open it and find out?" he said sitting the other side of the box handing you a pair of scissors to slice the tape.

You moved slowly cutting it open and pulled the box open then froze.

"d-daddy? What thats my..." you trailed off pulling out the hard back books your banner on the front cover.

"your stories? Yes poppet, I realised that you were putting so much work into these things but could loose them, they are soo good that daddy wanted to read them over and over and now we can!" he said pleased with himself as you sat there shocked looking at the small collection of a5 books.

"but their- i dont..." you said happy but completely shocked, flicking through the pages, there were even a few comments in the margins from henry pointing out the pits he liked making your heart swell with pride.

Henry moved to stand behind you pressing a kiss to your hair.

"They are brilliant! So good I'm so proud of every thing you have achieved and I want them on our book shelf, in the living room" he said making you tear up.

"Really? You... You think their that good?" you whined eyes blurring with tears as you hugged the first book to your chest.

"absolutely poppet now go on, you do the honours~" he said pressing your shoulder urging you to go to the cube bookshelf.

You tiptoed over to it and slowly pulled out each little custom book with your banner on the front.

You sat down placing each one delicately on the shelf the five books each lining up with one another half filling the empty cube shelf.

"oh no baby look? The shelf isn't full is it? You know what that means" he said standing looking

"I-I've gotta write?" you asked sniffling weeping softly but this time because you were happy.

"exactly! You need to fill the whole shelf, so you keep up the good work and tell daddy when you finish your next story and we can keep adding to it!" he said cheerfully walking over handing you the tablet.

You smiled to yourself and looked to the books, your books- actual real life books on a shelf!

You grinned throwing yourself at him latching onto him feeling your confidence come back just from seeing how much you had done.

Suddenly the hate didn't matter, your daddy like them enough to make them into real life books! And even annotated them himself?

And if your writing was good enough for your daddy then it was good enough for you.

"daddy, can I have my screen time now, I want to write!!" you said jumping up and down on the spot excited to start your next chapter.

Henry grinned nodding deciding you can have as much screen time today as you wanted as long as it meant you wasn't giving up your new hobby.

#oh-for-fic-sake ask #oh for fic sake ask #oh for fic sake headcannon #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill #henry cavill x little!reader

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acapelladitty · 3 years ago

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Kinktober: Hannigram - Biting

The tickle as a bead of sweat ran down his forehead was irritating enough to force Will to shake his head slightly, diverting the moisture to his eyebrow rather than allowing it to disturb his vision. His back was straight against the comfortably plush headboard and the strength of his current bondage was enough to prevent any slouching on his part.

The restraints had been Hannibal’s idea and, at his acquiesce, Will had found his wrists being wrapped delicately in two of Hannibal’s distinctly patterned ties with something approaching reverence as Hannibal took the time to kiss each pulse point softly before securing them tightly to the headboard.

With his arms extended and unable to move, Will found himself completely at Hannibal’s mercy and Hannibal had proven more than willing to take advantage of such a delicious and willing prey.

Almost a full hour had passed since their games had begun, and Will had long since given up any semblance of rational thought as he was left subject to Hannibal’s impressive talented and heated whims. Every kiss and stroke, caress and scratch, carefully designed to draw out the greatest pleasure within him and drive him to a point where his mind could focus on nothing but the warm body which was sitting astride his thighs.

At his distraction, a series of sharp nails carved an unspoken tale into the vulnerable flesh of his inner thighs and his fingers clawed into the ties which held him in place; the strain against the knots giving him something to focus on other than the torrid mixture of pain and pleasure which was curling his spine and making his chest heave in the warm air of the room.

“Are you with me, Will?”

Hannibal’s accented syllables were low, roughened by his own lust, but the hint of amusement which tinged them was undeniable.

“Yes.” Will bit out through gritted teeth, the final letter dissolving into a hiss as Hannibal slipped his hand up just enough to ghost across his painfully hard cock as it pressed against his soft stomach.

“You’re beautiful like this,” Hannibal continued, murmuring his compliment as though it were a private confession, “a true beauty borne of nothing but pure human emotion and sensation. Reduced to little more than base need and unencumbered by social necessities.”

Will’s heightened sensitivity left him vulnerable to his empathy and as he locked eyes with Hannibal as he finished his short speech he could see the sincerity of the statement and the overwhelming lust which was being projected from the hazy warmth in Hannibal’s gaze.

It was dangerous and that danger was intoxicating in its potency and how willing he was to lose himself within it. However, as he delved into the openness which was being offered, something picked at his consciousness and shifted his focus.

There was something else lurking below the obvious arousal; it was tactfully shrouded by desire but it was a specific desire which Hannibal was holding from him and it gave him pause as he searched the maroon eyes for what he was hiding.

The answer plucked at him like a string after only a moment.

“Bite me.” Will demanded hoarsely, echoing his discovery.

Hannibal quirked a brow, even as his hands rose slowly to rest on the harsh stubble of Will’s chin, stroking the rough hairs there with the pads of his fingers.

“I assume you mean that literally and you’re not being uncharacteristically rude.”

His voice was jovial but a hidden tightness behind the words told Will that his assessment was absolutely correct.

“You want to.” His breath coming in short bursts at the idea, Will couldn’t deny that he had long imagined those sharp teeth boring into his skin, “So do it.”

“Clever boy.” Hannibal purred, his pleasure at having his wants understood clear as his eyes flashed, “But what if I am not satisfied with a simple taste? What if I find the allure too irresistible and want to take more?”

“In that case,” a lop-sided grin tugged at Will's lips, “then we both know that my hands are tied.”

Smirking at the double-entendre, Hannibal allowed his smile to shift into something decidedly more predatory as he leaned in closer to Will; the small movement causing their cocks to brush against each other and pulling a sharp gasp from Will’s chest at the unexpected contact. He inhaled deeply and was assaulted with the scent of Hannibal; his expensive cologne mixing with the heady perfume of sex and sweat which also hung in the air.

Above him, Hannibal inhaled also and Will understood that he would be picking up much of the same. The mix of assaults on his senses was almost oppressive and the added warmth of Hannibal as he caged his body with his own made him feel gloriously trapped.

A soft tongue traced the area where his shoulder met his neck, marking out the area which was to play victim to the assault, and a low hum of appreciation vibrated through Hannibal’s chest as he appeared to appreciate the small taste.

Without warning, he dipped his head forward once more and sunk his teeth harshly into the join between shoulder and neck and Will could not prevent the small cry which broke free of his lips. The sharp teeth were not gentle as they ripped into his shoulder but Hannibal’s hands were soft as they brushed against his chest, palms teasing the peaks of his nipples for a moment before dipping lower as they wrapped around his cock.

The pain was intense for a moment before settling into a dull throb which was immediately offset by talented fingers as they glided across his cock, pausing to spread the pre-cum across his ultra-sensitive head, before continuing to stroke him with a gentle grip.

Tilting his head away to give Hannibal all the access he needed, Will was only prevented from bucking into the hand pleasuring him by the weight of Hannibal atop his thighs. Pain and pleasure melting together and becoming one in his mind as he focused on the dual sensations.

It was uniquely Hannibal.

The vicious and unyielding ferality of the bite offset by the pleasurable and structured touch which he was more than capable of providing; it was the duality of the performance which Hannibal subjected himself to when interacting with the world around him.

Animal and man; a wolf in human clothing. It was a fact which made Will little more than a brave lamb; offering himself to the wolf in the hope that the beast could contain its nature. Even with this thought in mind as Hannibal clamped his jaw tighter to send a fresh wave of painful ecstasy roiling through Will, a sudden wetness to the area alerted to him to the fact that Hannibal had broken the skin there and Will could not deny that there were some benefits to playing the role of the sacrificial lamb.

Also posted on AO3

#hannigram #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy #ktober21

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enarmor · 2 years ago

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A Prescript... Right. Sain figured as much, accepting a job from an Index bigwig. But to hear it vocalized is to bring it into question--fate, that is. Where they're fated to go, what they're fated to do. Even the fate of their mission--the grand resolution at the end of the final act--is determined by that tiny slip of paper in their pocket. The Fixer almost laughs. For all the figures of authority he'd scoff at, he never once thought to blow raspberries at fate.

Maybe it's high time.

Nothing would upset him more than knowing his life's story was not written by his own hand. He spent years confiding in books--in stories of a world so far removed from his own. Growing up a ragged Backstreets kid, he had no choice but to don the mantle of justice, to pledge his spear to defending the weak. A tragedy that women are often cast into this role. Encounter an Arbiter and maybe he'd be set straight, but what matters is how he was his success to be his. Earned with blood, forged with sweat, held with tears. Nothing can have fallen into the lap of one who once could once not afford to sit down, not even for a moment.

So he turns to meet his Messenger, his brow half-cocked and ready for some witty remark. But what he sees surprises him: a smile from little old Denning. In an instant his woes are forgotten, destiny mattering less than the rubble beneath his feet. "Aha, so you can smile!" the Lance remarks, clapping an arm round the other's shoulder, "I almost thought you had a mouth prosthetic that wouldn't let you!"

But remembering their promised lunch, he dislodges and nods. Silence follows. A mental note is made and then shelved for later: he should invite Denning to join them. They would be more than welcome, should they contribute to the success of the excursion, and Sain can have his date later. He owes it to his old friend to do something nice for them; life in The Hand is luxurious, but he doubts his friend has helped himself to much of it.

Free time would be the only barrier, then. Again, shelved for later.

Walking some distance in front of him, he finds the gaping hole they are meant to undertake in their exploration. A derelict of the old L Corp, he remembers. A link to Lobotomy's past. Rife with all manner of useful loot, like Enkephalin or leftover E.G.O. equipment. And most importantly: information. Leads on anything still-lurking down below, traces of a Singularity left to whoever can scrap them up first. With the right kind of talent, and maybe just a bit of luck, they could harness the seeds that gave life to the White Nights and Dark Days.

Strange times, those were. Sain remembers being on the verge of scoring a date before she was scared off by the sudden burst of light.

As he peers down the entrance, having moved past all the wreckage blocking it, he speaks but one word to his trusted companion--already believing he knows the answer,

"Ready?"

✢⁎. snippy scissors

#IC #THREAD NO. 9 DENNING (SNIPPY SCISSORS)#BEHOLDENNING #AU #//crawls out of my pit with this again #//i remember it all. i remember it all like it was yesterday #//sorry for the slow crawl in terms of pace tho i wanna have like #//a character moment. before we fling them in

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dragons-bones · 4 years ago

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FFXIV: A Rising Chorus

A/N: \o/ It’s done! Been working on this off and on since Balmung finished its Firmament, and I’m so happy I finally get to share it.

RATING: G WORD COUNT: 3032 WARNINGS: Spoilers for the final Ishgard Restoration quest line that begins with “Not By Bread Alone;” tooth-rotting fluff. Crossposted to AO3!

After months of hard work by Ishgardians and outsiders alike, the Firmament lies finished: the last of its homes ready to welcome the indigent of the Brume; its new businesses awaiting eager customers; and the warmth of Snowsoak prepared to soothe the aches and pains of its residents.

They’ve already had one impromptu party...time for an encore!

---

Hoarfrost Hall cast a long shadow over the Firmament as the sun set, the welkin overhead shading from gold to rose to inky blue with the first of the stars beginning to twinkle into existence far to the east. The image of the Hall’s belltower crept down the Abacus, ever closer to the crowd gathering at the far end of Saint Roelle’s Dais, but the growing gloom was offset by the work of the lamplighters, steadily making their way from Featherfall to the New Nest and Eastern Risensong, and the warm glow of candles and hearthfires spilling from the windows of newly-occupied homes. A low susurrus of noise echoed from the Dais as the assembly talked amongst themselves, the sound broken by the occasional bright peal of laughter or the strident twang of a violin being forced back into tune.

Synnove leaned on the railing overlooking the Dais, chin propped in her hand as she watched the Risensong Players warm up for their encore concert. The piano wasn’t Rereha’s usual choice of instrument—she was fonder of violin and lute and harp—but she had cracked her knuckles and thrown herself into that first practice before the first concert with relish, pulling a swirling song from the instrument even as she had complained about being horrifically rusty, the show-off. And better Rere than herself.

She shuddered. Just because she could hear aether as music did not mean that she had any talent or inclination for the art. And wouldn’t that have been the omen, a Warrior of Light and participating skybuilder mucking up the Firmament’s celebratory concert?

At least Rere could say she had participated during the Restoration; her creative talents lay strictly with music and storytelling, but she could plane wood into lumber.

She caught the sound of footsteps coming up behind her, and Synnove turned around in curiosity—and smiled. “Fancy meeting you here,” she drawled.

Aymeric, dressed down in simple leathers, laughed softly as he came to stand beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Synnove pushed herself to her tiptoes to kiss his cheek—he beamed at her, as pleased as any knight when their love bestowed their favor—while he said, “I hope this time I’m not too late!”

“Just in time, my love,” she said fondly, leaning into him. “They’re finishing warm ups, by the sound of it.”

Her knight pressed a kiss into her hair, causing her to beam in turn, and they settled into comfortable silence, looking out to the Dais as a similar hush fell on the crowd. Synnove could vaguely see familiar forms in the press of people, even at this distance: Uncle Edmont with Artoirel (no doubt still wearing that expression of bewildered delight at having his own composition as the showcase of these concerts) and Honoroit; the Haillenarte siblings clustered close to where Francel sat at his piano, radiating pride so fiercely they nearly flavored the aether of the Firmament with it; Heron, off to the side so she wouldn’t block anyone’s view, Amandina and Roksana perched on either shoulder and Arvide with his jaunty beret beside her. Alakhai lurked among a group of Forgotten Knight staff and regulars and Tailfeather hunters at the back of the crowd, and not far from there, Lucia successfully snuck up on Hilda and her Hounds.

(Nobles, commoners, outsiders, even a few of the dragonets who perched on streetlamps and statues. The sight of so many disparate peoples coming together set a warmth in her chest.)

Even this far from the Risensong Players, anticipation made the air nearly hum, no less potent than it had been for the noon show, and Synnove drew in an expectant breath along with Aymeric beside her as the Players raised their instruments or bows to the ready. And then—

—the first notes from Rereha and Francel’s pianos rang out, and their fellows—Handeloup and Emmanellain still on flute, Elaisse and Lizbeth still on violin, and Potkin and Augebert still on cello—joined the symphony.

For all that she didn’t consider herself musical, Synnove found herself humming along, and both felt and heard Aymeric do so, too. She recognized some of the melody Artoirel had used as part of a popular Halonic hymn, but rather than the martial or dirge-like tones of the versions she had heard when she had first come to Ishgard, it had been transformed into something happy and brilliant and celebratory and hopeful. The Firmament was practically giddy with the music, its ambient aether overwhelmed…or perhaps it was harmonizing instead.

Aymeric drew away from her, and she twisted around to look at him in surprise that quickly morphed into delight when he bowed and held out his hand to her, smiling fit to burst all the while. “May I have this dance, my lady?”

Synnove took his hand with a grin and replied, “My lord, it would be my honor.”

He pulled her close, his other arm going around her waist as she brought her other hand to his shoulder, and he dropped a kiss on her nose. As she giggled, he twirled them around, turning her giggles into breathless laughter. They made up the steps as they went along, an awful mix of a minuet and a rigaudon, nearly tripping over their own feet, Synnove’s laughter becoming inelegant snorting cackles and Aymeric snickering into her hair. Over the sounds of their mirth, Synnove could hear the crowd clapping along with the music, and out of the corner of her eye she spotted the movement of other spontaneous dancers.

Aymeric and Synnove collided to a halt as the song ended with a final flourish and the crowd cheered, pressing their foreheads together as they tried to catch their breath between residual giggles. The air between was white from their panting, and she was about to suggest they go to try one of the new food and drink stalls in Featherfall for something hot when the cheery twang of a fiddle rang out across the Dais.

They turned their heads, and even from here they could both see Rereha had abandoned the white piano in favor of her beloved violin, and her bow whipped across the strings to begin a popular reel that was quickly picked up by the other Players, flutes and cellos and piano. Another raucous cheer went up from the crowd, and without prompting, they began to clear a large, open area where lines of dancers quickly formed of both Ishgardians and skybuilders; couples like Lucia and Hilda were hand-in-hand, and friends and family dragged loved ones into the merry scrum. The hulking form of Marcelloix, shaking his head and hunching his shoulders, was easy to pick out, and though the person leading him determinedly through the crowd to the lines couldn’t be seen, there was no doubt in Synnove’s mind that it was Audaine. Those that weren’t lining up to dance instead clapped in time, and in a few more beats, the dancers had begun to dip and spin and whirl about one another in a fast-paced cotillion.

“Turning it into a proper party, this time,” Synnove laughed softly. “Shall we join them?”

Aymeric kissed her temple. “In a little while,” he said. “I’d like to have you to myself for a bit; I’ve barely seen hide nor hair of you in the past sennights.”

“That likely could have been mitigated if a certain someone hadn’t been holed up in parliamentary meetings for whole days at a time…”

“Now that, my love,” he said as they began to dance again in a proper waltz, turning up his nose in faux affront, “is unkind and unjust.”

“But not untrue!”

Their teasing continued as they danced, stepping lightly as the laughter of the crowd and the joy of the music echoed from the Dais. They were coming to the end of the song and slowly twirling towards the Abacus to head to the Dais proper, when—

[Oh! Oh! Is that dancing?!]

The pair glanced up in surprise at the voice that rang out, just in time to see Ehll Tou swoop out of the lamp-studded gloom to gracefully backwing and land a few fulms away. Hautdilong, in a boy-sized fleece-lined leather jacket popular with airship pilots, slid off her back and pushed his flying goggles up to the top of his head, blinking rapidly against the light. His dragon friend, meanwhile, dashed over to the railing, placing her dexterous front hands on the stone and leaning forward with an excited, gravelly trill.

“Oh, goodness,” Hautdilong said, looking out at Saint Roelle’s Dais with wide eyes. “What did we miss? Ehll Tou and I were visiting Gullinbursti and the moogles at Bahrr Lehs the past few days.”

“We finished the Skybuilders’ Monument,” Synnove said, grinning down at the boy when he looked up at her, mouth dropping open. She fought the urge to burst out laughing when Hautdilong’s gaze slid from her to the man next to her and he registered just with whom she had been dancing, and saw Aymeric give a brief half-bow to the lad in acknowledgement. “To make a long story short, a few of the residents wanted to put together a thank you for Francel for his work in overseeing the restoration, and put together a music troupe that performed for the first time earlier today. This,” she gestured at the reforming lines of dancers and the swelling crowd as the Risensong Players began a new song, “is the encore!”

“That explains why I saw Lord Tarresson begin to pack for a trip just as we left this morning!” Hautdilong said. “Someone must have sent him word; he had been speaking to us of how excited he was to see the Firmament finished.”

Ehll Tou suddenly barreled over in the manner of a dragon who sometimes forgot she was much bigger than she used to be, skidding to a halt before she could topple into her two-legged friends. [I want to learn to dance like a child of man!] she said, hopping from foot to foot and wearing her wide, excited smile. [Will you teach me? Please?]

Synnove blinked, momentarily stunned, but it was Aymeric who recovered first. “It would be our honor, Sky Lady,” he said warmly. “Perhaps one of the circle dances to start?”

[I have no idea what that is,] Ehll Tou said, her smile still in place. [But it sounds like fun, so yes!]

“You’ll have to teach me, too, lover-boy,” Synnove teased good-naturedly, poking him in the arm. “You, Hersande, and Baptistaux taught me quadrilles and other court dances, but none of the properly fun ones.”

“Then we will correct that deficiency posthaste,” he said cheerfully. “In fact... Master Hautdilong?”

The boy whipped his head around to Aymeric. “Ah, yes, Lord Speak—er, Ser—” The poor thing had the look of the suddenly nervous and overwhelmed.

“Just ‘Aymeric,’ is fine, especially among friends,” her knight said with a broad wink. Hautdilong slowly smiled back, while Aymeric continued: “Would you happen to be familiar at all with Coerthan circle dances? Particularly the ones from Eastern Coerthas like the branle?”

“I am!” Hautdilong said. “My mother is from the Eastern Lowlands and I was fortunate to travel with her to her home village for the spring planting festivals before the Calamity.”

“My own mama was from the Eastern Highlands,” Aymeric said. “And there’s just enough similarity in some of the town traditions that I believe we’ll manage to teach the ladies well enough. And perhaps some of our other friends, too?”

At that last, he raised his voice, calling out in the shadows, and a with a whoop, a gaggle of children came pelting up the Abacus and rounded the corner to their overlook. Synnove recognized Maelie, Noalle, and some of the Rolanberry Fields children—Lycelle, Peyraquile, and Julchiezain at the forefront—among the group, and following them were a handful of the shier dragonets whose names she had yet to learn. She had been so intent on Aymeric and the music and their mutual joy that she had completely missed the audience they had acquired.

Hautdilong was beaming and, without prompting, began organizing the group of Ishgardian and Dravanian children into a proper circle, with Ehll Tou and her cousins obediently tucking their wings close to avoid knocking other dancers off balance at his suggestion. Synnove dutifully allowed herself to herded elsewhere, exchanging a grin with Aymeric as she was shuffled into the circle between a blue dragonet on her left, who stood on tippy toe to ensure she could properly reach, and Julchiezain on her right. Synnove took a moment to ruffle Julchiezain’s hair—the boy tried to duck around Maelie on his own right to get away from it, but Maelie deftly dodged in turn and shoved him back into his spot and Synnove’s reach with a giggle—before her attention was drawn to the little dragonet tugging at the bottom hem of her vest.

“Hello, little one,” Synnove said, bending down so her face was at level with the dragonet’s. “What can I do for you?”

[My name is Ahm Sorn,] she said shyly, and Synnove melted only a little bit at the sweet, fluting notes of her mental voice. [May we teach this dance to the moogles and our other friends when we return home?]

“You absolutely may!” Synnove said with a smile. “Dances like this are the kind to be shared.”

Little Ahm Sorn made a small, purring little burble in the back of her throat. Synnove’s heart skipped a beat, but she absolutely did not gurgle and try to yank the dragonet into a cuddle. Aymeric shot Synnove a warning look anyway, which she ignored with only a slight pout as she stood up straight once more. She wasn’t actually going to forcibly adopt every sweet little dragonet that crossed her path!

(…She would ask Ehll Tou later who Ahm Sorn’s dam was, and if her dam would like an occasional minder for her daughter.)

Finally, once everyone was settled and hands and paws firmly linked, they all turned to Aymeric expectantly. He smiled at them all and said, “All right, the first set of movements goes like so…”

The next handful of bells were spent stumbling, tripping, and laughing their way through multiple circle dances, most of them Coerthan, until Aymeric made a sly, off-hand comment about Gyr Abanian dances that had the group of children clamoring for Synnove to teach them what she knew. Then Ehll Tou took lead to show them a grounded version of the fluttering, hopping dances that the moogles and dragons of Bahrr Lehs performed, and finally, as children always did, they took turns in making up new dances from what they had learned, until their laughter nearly drowned out the music soaring out from the edge of the Dais.

But all good things came to an end, and eventually the children began to droop with exhaustion and the party wound down. They fit in one last circle dance—a bit too slow for the song the Players were performing to end the encore show, but easier on tired feet wanting to shuffle rather than skip—and finished to the applause of parents and guardians come to take their charges home. They dispersed to all corners of the Firmaments, though most headed south into the New Nest; Noalle passed out almost as soon as her father picked her up, her cheek pillowed on his scaly green shoulder, and Marcelloix and Audaine fell into easy conversation with Rasequin, Gontrandoix, and Pehainel for the trek home while Lycelle, Julchiezain, and Peyraquile helped herd their fellow orphans along, with the older children each carrying one of the smaller ones piggyback. Ehll Tou crouched down to help Hautdilong onto her back, and they—and Ahm Sorn and the other dragonets—waved goodbye before winging off into the night for the sanctuary of Ehll Tou’s workshop roost.

Synnove and Aymeric collected the twins from Heron, off to the Forgotten Knight with Alakhai, and they meandered arm-in-arm up Quill’s Trace while Roksana and Amandina dozed in the crook of Synnove’s opposite arm. When they reached Bright Ballad’s Passage, without saying anything, they simultaneously turned to look out over the Firmament.

The district glowed with golden light, a mirror to the river of stars spangling the black velvet of the sky above. The soft blue glimmer of the new aetheryte system provided spots of color among the shadows, and the faint shapes of people passing in front of windows could be spotted in the houses closest to the Passage. And even with midnight nearing, the Mendicant’s Court still bustled with the night owls of the skybuilder corps, hard at work crafting goods for the residents of the Firmament or lifting off in manacutters from the Skysteel Workshop for the Diadem.

Sighing quietly, a sense of pride and satisfaction settling in her chest, Synnove leaned her head against Aymeric’s shoulder. Her knight kissed the top of her head before resting his cheek on her hair, moving his arm to wrap around her waist and squeeze tightly.

“Even seeing it,” Aymeric said, voice hushed and reverent, “it’s difficult to believe the work is finished. The repairs to the Brume and Foundation are still ongoing, of course, but knowing so many of my countrymen no longer need to worry about where to sleep at night…”

“It’s difficult to fathom the hopes for one’s home coming to fruition within your own lifetime,” Synnove replied, leaning into him. “I never thought I’d see Ala Mhigo free. I never thought a cure for tempering would be found. But here we are: griffon flags fly in Ala Mhigo; capture by a primal is no longer a death sentence; and Ishgard stands at peace and ready to do whatever is necessary to take care of her people.”

Her knight sighed, as satisfied sounding as she felt. “Our star is far from perfect, and its people less so,” he said. “But by Halone, it’s wonderful to see them try, and succeed.”

Synnove hummed her agreement and together, they turned, the Firmament at their backs, and wandered home.

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #ishgard restoration #ishgardian restoration #oc: synnove greywolfe #aymeric de borel #aymeric x wol #aymeric x synnove #ehll tou #hautdilong #dt's writing #IT DONE

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paper-cloud · 4 years ago

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i. the crushing weight of what happens next

part of "(there will be a) tomorrow"

fandom: prospect (2018) characters: ezra, cee rating: T words count: ~3K context: post-canon general warnings/tags: see series masterlist warnings/tags for this chapter: ezra's pov. angst. not graphic descriptions of wounds, blood and amputated limbs. mentions of minor characters' death. (probably very) inaccurate but anyways vague descriptions of medical treatments and post-anesthesia symptoms. taglist: @ravensmutty @buttercup--bee @thegreenkid (again, thank you all for your interest and encouragement! :3) @krissology @ezrasarm @bonktime (please forgive my nerve, i won't tag you in the next chapters unless you'll explicitly ask me to! just thought about someone else who might be interested and you guys are AMAZINGLY talented and inspiring "prospect"/ezra writers. it's not my intention to waste precious moments of your time! 🤡

[SERIES MASTERLIST] [MAIN MASTERLIST]

He'd have thought it was almost ironic – opening his eyes to the light only to see nothing. To feel pain.

He'd have laughed about it, most likely. A bit later, he'd have acknowledged it was a reasonably fair compromise; for him and any other wretch that'd ever dared play dice with darkness and miraculously made it out alive.

And in the very end he'd come to laugh at himself, too.

He knows the drill. Someone who trades their own life with the contract of the highest bidder doesn't see the universe in black and white, let alone is in a position to draw the hypothetical line between the two of them.

Must be an even more wicked universe than he's ever cared about, then.

At least, that's where the struggle of opening his eyes made him stumble upon; when a blade of light thrust through that hint of a gap he'd pushed himself to create in the middle, resonating through the dark coils of unconsciousness like a harsh, unforgiving bell.

A skilled mariner over silky rivers of natural redundancy and rapids of professional edges, Ezra is a man who can appreciate a sharp wit when he recognizes one.

That was too much even for him.

Floundering in between a blinding whiteness and a black hole that wasn't even completely black, but permeated by a thick, suffocating haze that filled every ghost haunting his mind with its stench. With the color of diabolically lush leaves.

Forest— spores— poison— death.

It hadn't been enough to let him dangle in apnea above a roaring vortex of lifeless emerald; take him away from the grey flow whose elusiveness he'd come to appreciate more than he'd ever hated to endure its chaos— from the bubble built on the routine series of one last jobs that, in the end, never really were.

There'd been a moment when, from the higher parts of the room, his pupils tumbled down, tripping over a patch of green discreetly lurking in a corner.

He almost threw up.

It had taken him a while to clear out the misty grit clotted in his corneas— focus on white walls, light wood paneling... a harmless seedling in a pot.

He'd breathed heavily, deeply. He sure hadn't got much relief from it. Still, he'd been able to hear its sound, louder than he'd ever heard it before, the musical, cooling mesh of oxygen particles in and out of his lungs almost begging his fingers to be touched.

Oxygen.

Fresh air.

Had he been less sore – less convinced it was just the residual effects of anesthesia pulling pranks on him –, he would have burst out laughing. Even more so if some poor soul of the medical staff nearby would have called for reinforcements from the other side of the space station before storming into his room.

He'd be laughing now, too. The best he can manage is sitting on his bed, leaning his back on the headboard – which is what he's struggling to do right now— and well, sometimes the room lighting still slightly bothers him. Of course, with all the painkillers and antibiotics they've given him, he wouldn't feel like the wound on his stomach is swallowing the entire arsenal of stitches and bandages.

He just wouldn't like her to get the wrong idea.

He blinks several times, like a man who no longer trusts his eyes. How can he, when they're burning like that, in such a different fire from the one from days before – damp and flickering? For reasons he can imagine, she seems to be faltering. Totally beyond his comprehension, he could swear she's smiling at him. Something inside his ribcage creaks oddly, while the curve of his chest arches upward.

"Birdie."

It's just a huff of breath, weak and hoarse, yet scratches his throat all the same, in a way that its walls feel studded with rock spurs. Actually, Ezra doesn't remember talking since they left the Green behind – which, being him, is saying something – and it's like an eternity has passed since their pod docked up there.

The nurse who let her into his room has just left and Cee sinks her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants. She's still smiling— just the faded shadow of a smile, now that he takes a better look at her.

"How's your wound?"

It sounds a lot less plain than he expected.

She hasn't moved towards him any further, and for now she's not showing any hints at wanting to. In her irises, Ezra recognizes thumping stars and cerulean clouds, all clustered in the black circle cut by the large porthole next to his bed. All before catching the thin mist veiling them. As if she did want to reach those stars, let herself get carried away by those streams of bluish dust, but she had no idea how or what to do there.

He looks down, the borders of the bandages over his abdomen slightly raised under his black short-sleeved tee. He clears his throat.

"S'healin' nicely", he says, with a deliberate lightheartedness that costs him a sharp, bizarre inflection in his voice. He closes his eyes soon after, tilting his head condescendingly. "That's how the nurse feels about it, anyway... S'not like I can feel much more right now."

This reminds him of those vacuous moments between brief, chaotic waking states and delirious dreams. When he'd managed to reconnect some essential key points scattered around in the talks of surgeons and nurses; the weariness he felt from simply gathering he was on a space station due to enter the orbit of Mesos in three cycles and something standard hours. All while his only solid reference point – the only indisputable proof he was still alive – was the sequence of beeps chirped by the medical monitor perched nearby. Constant, not monotonous. Friendly, even. Sometimes, he actually comes to miss it.

"A trust fall to the extreme, I'd guess", he snorts, a sly laugh as weak and heavy as the words trudging out of his mouth. As the whole rest of him.

Whatever answer she's considering, Cee freezes it in a quick purse of her lips – maybe a nod, but for his own good he'd rather be doubtful. Then she starts looking around.

There's a chair under the board firmly anchored to the opposite wall – probably a desk or something he's never needed to test, whatsoever. She grabs it and puts it next to his bed. She sits down, bringing her legs to her chest, squeezing them in her arms.

Waiting for what, Ezra has no idea, and he's afraid she doesn't have any, either.

He doesn't speak, though, nor does he encourage her to do the same. Her pearly gaze roams steadily but unhurriedly from him to somewhere beyond him, her nose buried in the gap between her knees. He studies her carefully, two purple crescents above her cheeks, a few hair strands swinging down her face without her wiping them out. The nights she's slept through haven't been any more peaceful than his.

Trust, he recalls in the meantime.

It sure brings an odd taste to his mouth. Something close to sweaty spacesuits, grimy paths and gone-off ration bars. A single word for two human beings forced to share the same air filter for days; that, and the image of a dead body left to rot miles behind and the desperate commitment not to end up in the same way.

His gaze just happens to trip over his right side, taking in the deflated sleeve over the emptiness that saved his life. When he lifts it back to the girl, meeting her eyes just before they can flutter away, he realizes they were both looking at the same spot. And he realizes something else— something he's already understood, yet not quite.

There is no tube binding them now.

"Why d'you do it?", he mumbles a split second later, almost like somehow the thread of his question has immediately knotted to the one of his previous thought.

He huffs. He shouldn't even have asked her, in all honesty. Seeing her like this, at least he should have put it in another way, danced around it, it's not like he’s never been good at stalling, after all—

"Comin' back", Ezra says instead, and when he swallows, he mainly does it to send his heart back down his throat. If he'd died without being given the last chance to be this straightforward on this matter, he would have probably kicked his ass all the way to the other side.

This time, Cee doesn't avoid his gaze. He shouldn't be surprised by how collected she looks, given the calmness she handled his infected arm with and then told him about when she used to slip into Jata Bhalu carcasses. But he can't help it when he thinks she can't be much older now than what she was then.

He watches her breathing in, wobbling her pupils here and there, seemingly considering his words. She's not afraid, not any more than what she seemed to be when she walked into his room. Maybe she's just better than him at playing pretend – but this, he can't tell whether it's more of a good than a bad thing. Especially for her.

One thing he can tell is that she's not the same girl who pointed a trembling gun at him before running away into the woods. He knows she's not afraid.

He knows...

So is it the hunter's instinct he has to blame if he feels she is?

"Guess I've seen too much death on that forsaken moon to just... turn my back on one I can help– one I can do something about."

If he was standing in front of an entire mountain crumbling down into the ocean, he wouldn't hear its sound. ‘Wouldn't even be the worst he deserves. She did hesitate before adding the last few words, but Ezra refuses to believe she did that because she was afraid of hurting him. He may be a wretch, but not a fool.

Kevva, for a man who's always managed to untwist himself from far tougher situations with the tangles of his tongue alone, he's sure having a deal of trouble – and he wishes he could put all the blame on his current physical condition.

There is no word he doesn't have to weigh carefully now, to prevent it from taking too sharp edges once out of his lips. He may float around it forever. But once he's let her go without saying anything, he'll hardly find the courage to look within himself again, more than after any other job that hardened his hands with calluses and tarnished his eyes with blood.

He doesn't know for sure. In fact, everything he was sure to know – about the turning direction of the universe and the one of the wheels in his head – has already collapsed in front of him, tracing a flaming tail. An unforgiving meteor following a trajectory far beyond his grasp.

He just knows silence scares him, in a way that a wrong word will never do again. It terrifies him. More than as a talkative person, as a castaway on a hostile moon for too many cycles to keep their count – with the only company of a mute. Silence is green; the green of the most poisonous pollen, lethal in his brain just like toxic spores enveloped in his lungs. The green of snake scales ready to stand and scratch his flesh until liquid crimson pours out of it.

And at the end of the day, this is the only fucking thing he can tell himself to know without having his guts churning and chest heaving a beat later.

"Stop looking at me like that."

It's more of an exhausted prayer than an annoyed remark. Ezra blinks, stunned by the sudden return from the shapeless stream of his thoughts.

"Like what?"

"Like you're looking for the words to thank me", Cee settles back into her chair and this time she lets one leg touch the floor, "Tell me you owe me, and you– you're sorry about what you did."

Ezra sniffles. "Would it be bad?"

"No, it—". She closes her eyes for a moment, clenching her jaw. "Just no good", she breathes out, calmer.

And the discordant note in those words conjures up ghosts not yet vague enough for Ezra to be able to tolerate them without something twinging inside him— like a violent flutter of wings. Voices groping their way up ravels of compromises. Damon, deep in the forest. Himself, with the mercenaries in the Queen's Lair. Cee, days before that. After he—

She's right— those words she hasn't said yet, but whose shadow he feels looming every time he catches her wetting her lips.

Some things just can't be split evenly.

"This is not the Green", she states, suddenly more confident but no less exhausted. "If you're going to hang around just because you need to, once we reach Mesos¹ you'd better be on your way."

Ezra doesn't interrupt her. A faded echo starts making its way into his ears. A former prospecting partner, many years ago. An easy job on a forgettable Fringe moon.

Gems don't have an expiration date. Deals do. Strike 'em if you need to, get rid of them as soon as you can. Unless you care to dig a quicker way to your grave.

He didn't pay attention to it, then. He'd thought it was just the empty rhetoric prospectors drop absentmindedly to fill the time between an unrewarding digging and the next. All the more so under the rickety advice of a couple too many.

His eyes still wide open, hands shaky, he merely reciprocated the awkward bottle lift of his partner, whom he didn't know more than the meanders of that quarry. A toast to a faceless future – a nothingness still more reassuring than what was all around and behind them. Not to the darkness of the cave, basically unbreakable if only for the red halo thrown by the twinkles of sharp, sinister Prystines². Not even to the two poor bastards that had set out with them, ending up skewered a few hundred paces behind – one by mistake, the other to return the favor of saving him from the clutches of a furious Aiu³.

Like an idiot.

Several contracts later preventing him from missing a beat in front of similar hiccups, the logic of that statement no longer sounds so absurd to Ezra. Luckily for him, Cee understood it long before him.

"I was just lookin' for the words to tell ya you'll be better off without me—"

Half a truth. Half a heartbeat. After all, she isn't the only one of them who knows how to sell it.

He leans his head back against the headboard, eyes half-closed, a sly grin baring a couple of his upper teeth. It would almost be intimidating, except that the glint hitting them doesn't quite match the dying one in his eyes.

"—But you beat me to it", he finishes, and he sounds like he's about to fall asleep.

He slowly turns his head away, looks through the porthole. His gaze clutches to the passing asteroids outside, distant nebulae spraying the sidereal black with hues of purple, blue, red— then green, again. A climbing plant squeezing him from the inside, discomfort starts creeping on him an inch of his body – what's left of it – at a time.

He doesn't want her to think he's angry at her, and it's the only concrete foothold emerging from the fluid, magmatic chaos in his mind.

How could he be, when she came back to get him?

She didn't have to.

She doesn't have to be here, either...

"I'm sorry", she suddenly blurts out.

He meets her eyes again, a mix of bewilderment and disapproval shading his own. He shakes his head.

"Don't."

"I just—". She starts fiddling with the extra fabric created by the folds of her sweatpants. Then she sighs deeply. "I have no idea what I'm gonna do now."

He snorts. "Not that it's s'pposed to make you feel any better, but... neither do I."

He doesn't have a hazy helmet choking the glimmer in his eyes, an air filter breaking some frequencies in his voice— maybe just those making him sound sincere, while saving those trapping him into the swamp of self-loathing.

He was nothing but honest when he told her the rules of the game on the Green. When he openly admitted he was a killer, and when he assured her he wouldn't trade her for the Sater's Aurelac. And she's always seemed to believe him, maybe for that kind of desperate inertia that washes over people when they need something to cling to. Whatever the case, Ezra can only hope she wants to believe him now. But she doesn't speak, and for a moment his fear of not saying enough overcomes that of crossing her boundaries.

"But w—", he immediately bites his tongue, "—you still have three cycles to figure things out. Someone up here will be able to help you. Even so, please know you'll always have my most sincere gratitude."

The effort of lining up all those words and so few pauses to catch his breath casts a thick fog over his ears. His eyes suddenly hurt again and he finds himself squinting.

What happens next, he just records it, hardly managing to follow each cause-effect relationship. A series of events softly raining on him without making a noise, while he can quite imagine them to be way more prolonged in time. Cee leaning towards the lighting panel on the wall, sliding her finger counterclockwise, and the white coating the walls turning less painfully bright; her getting up, walking away, dwelling just before the door. "I'll come to check on you tomorrow", she says, sniffling.

She tilts her head, holding his gaze in her watery one for an agonizingly slow while – Please, don't ask me why.

He blinks once – Of course.

Then, the automatic door is once again engulfed by the wall, closing behind her with a metallic rustle.

Tomorrow.

His heart is taken by a spiraling jolt that leaves an empty cave behind. When it falls back into place, Ezra finds something has tripped in there, shapeless and quivering like the nucleus of a newborn star.

Hope, terror and everything that lies in between.

___________________

NOTES:

1) Mesos — Invented planet. Its only raison d'être is that "mésos" in Greek means "middle" and my intent was to frame this story in a moment of transition (after those of movies) for both Ezra and Cee. 2) Prystines — Invented kind of crystals. They're implied to be huge, red and very sharp, thus endangering the path through the cave. 3) Aiu — Invented predator, ideally a big feline.

A/N:

Yeah, uhm... at this point, if someone was ever to give me any kind of feedback, constructive criticism or random thought, I think I'd just melt into a puddle for the attention alone. And to all those who came all the way down here, your bravery shall not be forgotten. ♥️✨

In my defense, it's (almost) all P**** P*****'s fault & of his habit of taking orphans under his wing from one planet to another.

I know people in the fandom generally tend to make Ezra and Cee go along straight away after the movie, so this will be a slightly different take on things, I guess... But even if I don't know if I'll keep this series going atm (life & maturity exam suck), a final reconciliation is definitely on the way. ;)

Oh, and any beta reader that should feel like helping me out for when I'll have the next chapters ready is warmly welcomed! My DMs are always open and I swear I don't bite! :3

#prospect (2018)#prospect movie #ezra (prospect)#cee (prospect)#pedro pascal #sophie thatcher #my writing ☁️#geez what tf did i write this so long for?#it's all sadness and insecurities and introspections #hopefully i'll fit more dialogues in for the next ones...#which means kevva help me when i'll have to put my hands on that verbose space rascal's dialogues #i already know i'll ruin him but i really don't want to but he's so fucking intimidating but—#*goes hiding in her cave*

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dontmindmyshadowhunting · 4 years ago

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To never being parted - Part 2 Chap 4 - The Birthday Party

This is the Chapter 4 of the mini sequel to my flower cards inspired Kitty Fan Fic “Am I Forgotten?”

AO3 Link here.

****

As it turned out, Jace absolutely loved his surprise. He jumped in the pop-out cake to hug Kit, who pushed him away, and they ended up rolling and wrestling amidst the vanilla buttercream, with a crowd of onlookers cheering. The most enthusiastic was Mina, who shrieked with delight during the entire fight.

They both had to change after that, which was a relief. Tessa had to hastily recover Kit’s dress from Mina, who had undertaken to lick the fabric drenched in vanilla frosting.

The party was as decadent as any party organized by Magnus Bane could be. Dark blue velvet banners hung from the ceiling, stitched with the design of stars which seemed to shine, as if the guests were standing under the night sky. Candles glowed from every surface. Magnus had magicked up a small playground for the kids in one corner of the room, far from the chocolate fountains.

Kit carried Mina around on his shoulders for two solid hours before she finally asked him to put him down. When he did, she whispered in his ear. “When I am older, I am going to marry that tall and handsome Centurion bodyguard who has been following us everywhere… He takes such good care of my big brother.” Kit felt all the blood drain from his face.

****

The dinner table was covered with food from all around the world but Kit settled for a burger. He noticed that Julian had made the same choice although he saw him slip his lettuce to King Kieran, who had decided to make an appearance for Jace’s birthday party. He was seated between Mark and Cristina, and both were trying to get him to taste Mexican food. He shot Julian a grateful look.

“So, has Ty been sleeping in front of your bedroom, as he used to in Los Angeles? That was so cute!” Cristina asked Kit, in a cheerful voice.

“Of course not”, Kit replied. “He is absolutely welcome to my bed now.”

Everyone around the table froze before turning to look at him. Shit. Did he say that out loud?

Kit moved his gaze towards the only person whose opinion mattered in the case.

Ty, who was seated next to Dru and Jaime Rosales, was staring at him open-mouthed, his cheeks flushed. Oh well, thought Kit. I am not taking it back anyway. If I said I was joking, Ty would take it literally. And we wouldn’t want that now, would we?

Kit shrugged and went back to eating his burger.

****

After dinner, there was a cluster of girls around Lily Chen, who was seated on a chair flaunting the Hot Shadowhunters calendar, as if it was the best book of the year.

She had decided to publish a first edition, as an experiment, in an attempt to boost the Clave’s revenues. Alec had been reluctant at first, but even he couldn’t deny the incredible success of the calendar after only a few weeks of sales. It had been sold to both Shadowhunters and Downworlders, entire stalls being dedicated to it in several Shadow Markets around the world.

King Kieran himself had bought several to add to his collection which included kitten and mundane firefighters calendars.

“So, of course we have Jace for the month of January. That one - and Mark Blackthorn’s - were the easiest pictures to obtain,” Lily explained as she enthralled her audience by flipping through the pages of the calendar.

On the front page, Jace was almost entirely naked, a well positioned sword covering his most intimate parts. Mark was just as barely dressed, poetically covered in roses and thorns.

“I had to negotiate with Magnus for Alec’s picture but as it turns out, I am quite happy with what he provided.” Magnus winked. In the picture, Alec was half naked, his muscles flexed as he was pulling an arrow to his bow. His skin was covered with black marks which stood in stark contrast with his white skin.

“Here we have Jem. Although he is officially retired from the Clave, we couldn’t do this without him. He is much too popular with the Shadow Markets’ crowd. He is only half naked of course, but compared to what people used to see of him when he was a Silent Brother, this looks like porn.” Most of the girls giggled.

“This is Simon, it was easy enough to obtain a picture of him. I just had to offer him a limited edition of a light-saver…”

“A lightsaber,” Isabelle corrected.

“Whatever. The most difficult one to obtain was Julian Blackthorn’s, of course,” Lily continued. “I had to hire a professional photographer…”

“You mean a paparazzi,” Emma interrupted.

“Emma almost broke his arm…”

“He was lurking behind a rock, taking pictures of Julian while he was surfing…”

“But apparently you both found an arrangement.”

Emma stared off into space. “He does have talent. He took amazing pictures of Julian on his surfboard… I made an album of them. He’s going to be our wedding’s photographer. Free of charge.”

“That’s my girl,” Julian said, raising his hand for a high five, though not moving his gaze from Tavvy.

Lily turned to Kit and Ty, then, pointing two fingers at her eyes and at them. “Now that you have come of age, I have got my eyes on you boys.”

Ty looked terrified but Kit only shrugged.

****

Kit danced with a lot of people. Mina, mostly, but also Clary, Isabelle, Emma, Dru, Aline and even Lily, who kept giving him a variety of nicknames. Mostly food-related. When he waltzed with Tessa, everyone stopped to observe their graceful twirls, and they were given a round of applause. Kit had to admit he was quite smug about it. Not a single dance with Ty though, who had mostly been hiding in a corner with his headphones on, his arms crossed, though a friend of Dru’s kept talking animatedly to him. He didn’t seem to notice.

After a dozen dances, Kit was exhausted and parched. As he moved towards the buffet to get something to drink, Emma and Cristina appeared out of nowhere to stand in his path, their faces alight with excitement. Kit had noticed that when Emma was not glued to Julian’s side, she was always running around with Cristina and Mark, like an iconic trio of besties.

“Welcome to the club,” they said in unison. Had they rehearsed that?

“What club?”

“The club of fearless warriors who decided to take the hazardous path of dating Blackthorn men,” Emma replied with an ominous voice.

“One word of advice,” Cristina said. “Get as much sleep as you can, while you can.”

“What?” Kit was puzzled.

“Hmmm, how to explain…” Emma put one finger on her mouth, her expression thoughtful. “Have you ever wondered why there are so many of them?”

“The Blackthorns you mean? Er- because they like kids?” Kit answered.

“True enough,” Emma replied, winking at him.

“What else is there?” Kit asked, as he had the feeling he was missing something.

Emma and Cristina burst into fits of laughter, clutching each other for support.

Kit shrugged and considered it as his cue to leave. Ty had already left the party an hour ago and Kit was wondering whether he should stop by his room to watch him sleep. Just a little peek. Ok, no, that was creepy.

As he was heading towards the door to leave the party inconspicuously, Kit was stopped mid-flight by a hand grasping his shoulder.

“Not so fast, Kit Herondale.”

Kit turned to meet Julian’s blue-green eyes. He was a different version of the Julian he had known.

The shape of his face was sharper, his features more chiseled and his luscious Blackthorn waves longer. There were no longer circles under his eyes and Kit had noticed that he had stopped biting his fingernails. He seemed happier, more rested. Almost… glowing.

Kit had to admit he was stunning. But I am already head over heels in love with his brother, Kit was reminded.

According to Jace, Julian had been a close and trusted advisor of Alec for the past few years, the Consul relying on him for war strategy and delicate political matters.

During the time he had spent in Los Angeles, Kit had witnessed how dangerous Julian’s sharp mind could be when he decided to use it. How deadly. And that was tired, restless Julian. Glowing Julian… their enemies would never know what had hit them.

Julian’s gaze moved to Kit’s chest, where the Blackthorn locket was resting.

“I see that Ty has given you his and Livvy’s pendant. I trust that you know what this means.”

His blue-green eyes were now boring into Kit’s, and Kit could not help but feel exposed, as if Julian was not looking into his eyes but straight into his head, accessing his mind.

“I do. This is it, for Ty. I am it . First and last. There won’t ever be anyone else for him.”

“What about you?” Julian’s gaze was still burning holes through Kit’s eyes.

Kit sighed. “You know what they say. Herondales love but once.”

“And you just realized that, where you are concerned, this is true?”

“No, Julian. I had already realized that three years ago.”

Kit turned to move, but Julian caught him by the arm.

“You already know what I am going to say next, don’t you?”

“Julian, I have witnessed what you were capable of in order to protect your family. I’d rather be facing the nine Princes of Hell.”

“Good,” was all Julian said, letting him go.

****

Tagging @darkkitai

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wefoundloveunderthelight · 3 years ago

Text

Skyline Manor by GleefullyCaptainSwan Chapter 5/13

Or on FF

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jrob64 @jonesfandomfanatic @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s @the-darkdragonfly @xsajx @deckerstarblanche

Chapter 5: We have an Accord

“What do you mean you lost him?” Sir Henry watched from his hiding spot behind a stone column as his uncle spoke with the Captain who had burst into his room.

“I saw him on the staircase during the dance, I went after him, and he vanished from sight.”

“Dammit.” The King cursed. “The good news is that the diamond is still in the place it was left. So, he was unable to take what he came for.”

“If he was unable to claim his prize, he will return. He will need shelter in town, my men and I will remain in port, seek information at the tavern. He may have won this round, but I do not intend to lose the game.” The Captain said confidently.

“See to it that you don’t. We can’t afford any distractions.”

“Was your sister able to choose a husband tonight?”

He groaned. “She did not. I do not understand the hesitancy of women. The Duke would make a fine husband, yet she continues to search the realm for something that she may never find.”

“What is it that eludes the Princess?” He asked.

“What every woman wants of course, true love.”

“And she has not found this with your friend the Duke?” He questioned with a laugh.

“I had thought she might, his Grace is a good man, he would make an excellent husband but my sister…”

“What do you speak of your sister?” The men turned toward the approaching voice, the Captain’s heart stopping as the blonde woman came into view. “It is unkind to talk about a woman behind her back.” Killian felt his mouth standing agape and tried to will it to close. The woman from his dance earlier was Princess Emma?

“I was simply saying that my sister was the star of the ball this evening.” The King said with a knowing glance to the other man.

“You have not yet introduced me to your guest.” She mused, turning toward him, and offering him her hand. Killian took it gently, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss against her knuckles.

“Captain Killian Jones.” He announced, though he knew quite well that she was aware of his name as he had given it to her earlier.

“Captain Jones.” She touched the tip of her finger to her chin. “No, I don’t believe I’ve heard of you.” She said without a care in the world.

Killian smirked as she stepped away from him, a slight grin pressed to her mouth. “I must take my leave.” He said suddenly. “I have urgent business to attend to.” The King returned his nod. “It was a pleasure to meet you Princess Emma.” He bowed in her direction. “Until we meet again.”

He slipped from the room, taking one last glance over his shoulder at the blonde woman that had his heart in his throat.

“Sister, tell me you’ve interrupted me to announce your decision to marry the Duke.”

“I have made a decision.” She paused. “I have decided that I will not marry the Duke.” She announced without fanfare.

“Sister.” He chided. “Why not? Did he not please you tonight?”

“He was pleasant, I suppose, but I met many men tonight. Perhaps one of them is…”

“Not the true love thing again! Emma, I told you, it is time that Henry has a man in his life.”

“He has many men in his life. You, William…”

“His jester does not count as a man in his life.”

“He most certainly does. He’s the best friend Henry has ever had.”

The King sat down unceremoniously on his throne. “Sister, I want to ensure you are taken care of. This means you must marry.”

She sighed. “I will. I promise.” She spun around in her dress. “There was a man tonight that I danced with…” She bit her lip.

“A man, what man?”

“A man.” She restated. “He was handsome, and charming, and very intriguing.”

“Well, you must decide soon, or else I’m going to accept the Duke’s offer.”

Princess Emma rolled her eyes, excusing herself from the room. There was no way she was going to marry the Duke, not when there was a chance for adventure and intrigue in figuring out who Captain Killian Jones was and what his business was in her realm.

Henry was pleased with the way the party had turned out. Even though his mother spent most of her evening talking to Graham, he couldn’t ignore the way that Killian’s eyes seemed to find her from across the room after returning from the basement. His mother had even lifted the ban on his visits with their neighbor and Henry found himself splitting his time between building Legos with Will and stopping in to provide a treat to Smee after dinner.

However, when he knocked this evening, he was met by another man at the door. “Evening, lad. If you’re selling something, I don’t live here.”

Henry narrowed his eyes and stepped forward. “Who are you? You aren’t Killian?”

The man appeared surprised to hear Killian’s name. “I’m Liam, who might you be?”

“I’m Henry, Killian’s friend.”

“Are you now?” He said with a laugh. “Well in that case, please do come in.” The man stepped away from the door and Henry bounded into the apartment. “Brother, you have a friend here to see you.”

Henry turned toward the man. “You’re Killian’s big brother. Wow, it’s great to meet you.”

“You seem to know about me, and yet I know nothing about you.” He seemed to question his brother as he entered the room.

“Henry, here to see Smee?” Killian interrupted. “Liam, this is my neighbor, Henry.”

Henry held the treat up high for the dog, rewarding him when he sat as he was supposed to. “Are you a Captain too?”

“Liam’s in the Navy. He’s a Lieutenant onboard the USS Delaware, it’s a submarine.”

Henry’s eyes grew wide. “You mean you go under the water?”

“Aye, you never know what’s lurking beneath.” Liam responded with an eerie grin.

“That’s really cool. Did you ever go in a submarine?” He turned toward Killian.

“I prefer to Captain my ship above the water.”

“So, Henry, do you live next door with your mom and dad?” Liam asked.

“I live with my mom; my dad lives across town.”

The man glanced at his brother. “Is that so?”

“Speaking of your mom, isn’t it your dinner time kid?” Killian scolded. “I don’t want her coming over here yelling at me again.” He laughed.

“We’re having tacos tonight.” He stood up and patted the dog on the head. “It was nice meeting you, Liam. See you tomorrow, Killian.”

“Talk to you later, kid.”

~*~

Killian closed the door behind Henry and turned to see his brother staring at him with a smirk on his face. “What?”

“So, you’re hanging out with a ten-year-old now?”

“He’s eleven, and he’s a nice kid.”

“Are you sleeping with his mom?”

“God, Liam, of course not.” He exclaimed. “Why do you accuse me of sleeping with every woman I meet?”

“Don’t you?” He laughed.

“No.” He argued, walking back into the kitchen to finish dinner.

“Are you still seeing Belle?”

“She’s around, yes.” He knew where this conversation was leading.

“Interesting, it’s been what, six months? That’s some sort of record for you.”

Killian groaned. “I know where you’re going with this. She’s not my girlfriend. I meant what I said that night, I’m not interested in a relationship.”

“Interested or not, you’re already in one. So, if you don’t actually want to be with this woman, you need to end things before she gets hurt.”

“No one is getting hurt; we’re just having a little fun. That’s all.”

“Suit yourself, brother. But one of these days, you’re going to have to break that promise or you’re going to end up alone.”

~*~

“And he works underwater all day!” Henry exclaimed excitedly.

“How chu u wrk under watur?” Will spat, his mouth full of food.

“Would you not speak with your mouth full! How old are you?” Emma scolded the man.

“Sorry, Ems, how does he work under water?”

Henry laughed, reaching across the table to grab a slice of bread. “He’s a Lieutenant on a submarine. Isn’t that cool?”

“That’s very cool. I had no idea he had a brother.”

“I did, he told me about him before. He lives in Maine, where Killian used to live before he had to move.”

Emma chuckled, sharing a glance with Will. “He told you all of that.”

“He tells me loads of things when we hang out. The other day, he was doing his laundry and singing. He said it’s a sailor thing to sing when you’re sad or melon collies.” He scrunched up his nose as he said the word.

“Melancholy.” Emma corrected.

“You guys should invite him to your happy hour tomorrow night. He doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends around here, except for Belle, of course.” He paused then sat up straighter. “Or me.”

“That’s a bloody good idea, kid. The more the merrier.”

“What did I tell you about using that word around Henry.” Emma whispered.

“His eleven not six! Would you rather I used the F word?” Will groaned.

“Fruit?” Henry responded, looking at her with a confused glance.

“No.” Emma said shortly.

“Oh, that word.” Henry laughed. “I don’t think you should use that word. My friend Roland said it in class the other day and our teacher sent him to the office, he didn’t come back to class for an hour.”

Emma watched the boys on the other side of the table making jokes and laughing throughout dinner, it made her heart settle seeing Henry smiling. She had hoped that he would get past his initial disappointment from his father bailing on him for a month so he could go chase some ass in Barbados.

While she had been wary of him disturbing and bothering the neighbor, her son seemed quite taken with the man. Ever since the barbeque Henry had lost himself in his writing, spending all of his time jotting down notes in the notebook that he thought he was hiding from her.

She would never read any of it without his permission, but her teacher had told her that he was a talented writer with a very creative mind, so she tried to give him his space to allow his imagination to grow.

As long as he was happy, Emma was content to give him the wings he needed to fly.

“So, do you want me to invite Jones, or would you prefer to drop by yourself.” Will wiggled his eyebrows at her and she slapped him on the shoulder.

“What’s are you trying to say?”

“Just saying, he’s an attractive man, a fact that hasn’t escaped your attention.”

“I have Graham, I don’t need an attractive man.” She bit her lip. “I’m not saying that Graham isn’t attractive. He is. Very. God why do you always get me so worked up?”

“That’s what I thought.” He stepped into the hall and headed to his door. “I’ll let you invite him. Would hate for you to miss a chance to stare into those baby blue eyes.”

“I hate you.” He turned around and gestured toward her shirt.

“Maybe open a button or two, ya sexy git.”

Emma extended her middle finger toward her friend as he closed the door in her face. Turning she looked down the hall and exhaled loudly. Before she could head toward his door, it opened and a man stepped into the hall, turning right toward her.

He was tall with lighter hair than Killian’s, and he didn’t carry that same devil-may-care attitude that her neighbor seemed to have at all times. Emma cursed under her breath as he approached, and she stood rooted in her place like a statue.

“Evening.” He said with a smile.

“Hello, you must be Liam. My son hasn’t stopped talking about the man who works under the water since he got home.”

The man’s grin grew wide on his face. “Henry, right?”

“That’s him, about this high…” She held her hand up in front of her. “Loads of questions.”

He laughed. “He is very inquisitive.”

“I’m Emma.” She held out her hand and he took it with a firm handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you Emma. Glad to see my little brother has some friendly faces around him.”

“Well, we are one big happy family here at Skyline Apartments.” She internally cursed herself for sounding like a complete idiot.

“It was very nice to meet you, Emma. I’m sure we’ll see each other again.” He raised his eyebrow and then nodded at her as he headed to the elevator.

Emma waited until the elevator doors closed before turning down the hall toward Killian’s door. Standing in front of it, she brushed her fingers through her hair, stopping at the collar of her shirt. Without thinking she undid the top button, pushing her chest out.

What the hell was she doing? She didn’t come here to flirt with the man, she had a boyfriend!

For the hell of it she unbuttoned the second button, shaking her head in disbelieve at herself and knocked on the door.

The door opened quickly, “Did you forget something?” He paused, his eyes trailing from her face down her body before snapping back up to meet her eyes. “Uh sorry, Swan. Henry’s not here.”

“No, yes, I mean, I know.” She said with a slight fluster. “I’m here to ask if you wanted to go to a bar. Tomorrow.” The smirk on his face started to grow. “I mean for happy hour, with my friends, not like you and me or a date or anything like that because I have a Grant…Graham.” The words spilled out of her mouth as she reached up to grab a lock of her hair, spinning it between her fingers.

“Are you asking me out, Swan?” He teased.

“To happy hour, Jones. You can bring Brittany.”

“Belle.” He stated with an arrogant chuckle.

“Sure, bring her too. 7pm, Howl at the Moon on High Street.” Turning quickly, she walked away, she was sure her face was a special color of red. As she got to her door, she turned the handle but sadly realized the door was locked. She glanced back toward Killian’s apartment and saw him leaning against his door watching her in amusement.

“Door’s locked.” She said absentmindedly, knocking on the door. When Henry didn’t answer she turned and knocked on Will’s door. “Just gonna check on Will.” She hollered toward Killian who was currently staring at her with apparent glee. The door opened and Will looked at her with a grin.

“Back so soon? My God did you take off the whole shirt.” Emma shoved him backward into the apartment and slammed the door shut behind her, leaning against the door and banging her head backwards. “So…”

“Don’t say anything.” She warned with her finger in his face.

~*~

Killian climbed the plank of the Jolly Roger, exhausted and feeling slightly defeated by this Baelfire man. As soon as he approached the ladder, he heard a noise behind him. Turning he saw his first mate standing behind him.

“You left early.”

“I tried to find you. What happened tonight?”

Killian stared at his boots. “He was there. I saw him. And lost him.” He growled.

“Did he get the diamond?”

“No. But he won’t leave without it.”

“So, we’re staying.”

“Aye, I will not let this Swan Thief best me. Tomorrow I will go into town and inquire about this Baelfire man.” He turned toward his quarters. “Get some sleep, French. Tomorrow we play a new game.”

“Aye Captain.”

He closed his cabin door with a thud, kicking the ladder at the end of his bunk. He had not been beat in a long time. Yet this man got away from him. He wouldn’t leave until he had this Baelfire in irons.

He heard a creak outside his door and reached for his cutlass. Blowing out the candle at his desk, he creeped toward his door, hiding in the shadows.

The door squeaked as it slowly slid against the wooden planks, a dark figure stepped into the room, peering into the expanse of his cabin. Killian stepped forward, wrapping an arm around the neck of the intruder, and putting his blade to their neck. “It’s bad form to enter a man’s room uninvited.”

“Don’t hurt me.” The woman squealed and Killian dropped his resolve for a second, long enough for the lass to turn on her heels, a dagger sticking into his side.

“Well played, love.” He growled, whipping his arm forward and grabbing the dagger from her hand, spinning her in his arms until he had her pinned to his desk. Reaching up he grabbed the hood from her cloak and yanked it from her head. The moonlight shone on her face, a smirk growing across his lips. “You’re a long way from the castle, Princess.”

“I was just curious.” She said softly.

“Curiosity is dangerous for someone of your stature.” He removed the blade, releasing her from his grasp. “Does your brother know you strayed from the castle?”

“My brother spends far too much time worrying about my affairs.” She complained.

“How can I be of service, M’lady?” He said with a mocking bow.

“What is your business with the King?” She asked.

“I told you earlier, it’s confidential.” He pulled the bottle from his cabinet, pouring a glass of rum for himself and his curious companion. Pushing the glass toward her, he took a swig of the warm liquid. Watching as she eyed the glass, her fingertips sliding around the tip.

“Is it in regard to the Duke?” She mused, taking the glass in her hand, and smelling the liquid it held inside.

“I’m as uninterested in the affairs of the Duke as it appears the lady is.” He narrowed his eyes, watching her put the glass to her lips. His brow raised as she hesitated with the drink. Sensing this, she tilted the glass, swallowing the liquid inside. As soon as it reached her throat she began sputtering and coughing. The Captain laughed, taking the glass from her hands.

Putting her hand over her mouth, she coughed once more, then lifted her chin. “And the King was not trying to convince you to offer your own hand?”

Killian chuckled. “I have no need for a wife?”

“He’s hired you for something.” She said angrily. “I want to know what it is.”

“Are you quite certain you can handle it?”

“I’m not a child.”

“No, you most certainly are not.” He said, stepping closer to her, his hand reaching out to run his fingers through her golden locks. Her breath hitched in her throat, but she didn’t move from her spot. “Baelfire.” He whispered.

“What did you say?” She gasped.

“Your brother believes a man named Baelfire to be the notorious Swan Thief. He asked me to stop him from stealing the jewel of Arendelle. A diamond I believe.” He left out the part about knowing the man’s connection to the Princess.

She blinked. “It can’t be.” She stepped away from him. “He’s not been seen in years.”

“I can assure you; I saw him with my own eyes tonight. At the castle.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Henry.” She turned toward the door. “I have to get back to the castle.”

Reaching forward he grabbed her by the arm. “Princess.” She turned toward him, a frantic look in her eyes. “This man terrifies you?”

“He can’t get near Henry.”

“I will find this Baelfire, love. I won’t let him near you or your boy.” He said earnestly. She didn’t flinch at his words, but her expression softened.

“Meet me tomorrow morning, behind the Thirsty Lion.” She turned to leave before spinning back to him. “But say nothing of this to the King.”

“We have an accord, Princess Emma.”

“Call me Swan.” She smiled, pulling the hair clip from her tresses, and pressing it into his hand and scurrying up the ladder as she retreated from his sight.

“Swan.” He whispered into the shadows, holding his palm up to the moonlight, the silver swan hairpiece glistening in its glow.

From the shadows of the deck, a figure watched the woman retreat from the Jolly Roger. Slipping into the darkness, he covered himself with a large canvas tarp. He was unsure what business his mother had with the Captain, or if any of this had to do with the man that was being hunted outside the castle, but Henry was determined to find out.

#skyline manor #stacy's fics #emma swan #killian jones #captain swan modern au #captain swan fics #captain swan au #captain swan

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timextoxhajima · 4 years ago

Text

GEN Z SERIES, HYUNJAE: The Third Eye

"Will you choose to believe what you see or what you feel?”

Member: Hyunjae

Genre: Fantasy / Slice of Life / Supernatural / Angst / TW

Trigger Warnings: Rape, Self-Harm

Word Count: 5.8k

Taglist: @yn-am-pm @fleurseoul @sunwoowuvbot

The first time I knew I saw something that wasn't there, I was scared. How was an eight-year-old supposed to treat an elderly man who looked closer to a skeleton than a human being standing in the corner of the room... of an elderly's home?

I remember my mother combing my grandmother's hair while my father was helping me pick up my crayons off the floor when I saw him. Nurses were walking down the corridors in a hurry. I remember nobody noticed -- or at least, unlike the conventional way of death that has been portrayed in movies and books by the very cliché usage of the flatlining on the monitor. He had a good amount of hair for an old man in his nineties.

Then again, it might've been his deteriorating health that made him look older than he actually was when he died. Time seemed to pass a lot slower when they let me see them. Unlike the way his skin seemed to sink in between his ribs and wrap around the bones of his arms, his eyes were full of light. The kind that I recognised when I was at school. I didn't know then, because I was just a child he realised could see his soul. But I will never forget the blessing he placed on the top of my head. Every single word etched into my mind like carved into stone.

I told my grandmother about the man I saw earlier that day when my parents went to talk to the nurses of the elderly home. She was scared at first, when she realised her grandchild had abilities that not many had. Yet, she never told my parents, because she knew they would convince themselves that they could do something about it -- as if one could really remove the powers of a third eye all so easily.

Angels are not beings with wings or halos but instead, a bright orb of gold and white. The old man waved so dearly to me, after giving his children and grandchildren a kiss atop their heads though they couldn't feel it. He was 88, auspicious numbers in many cultures. Then when the orb of light drifted in through the window, I remember I could almost hear the sounds of kittens and puppies. But just as it neared him, I heard the familiar sounds of laughter from his children and grandchildren, then static sounds of radio and music I didn't recognise. I will later find out that the music belonged in the 40s.

The orb presents you with everything you've loved and enjoyed and held close to your heart in your life, and should you be content with what the orb has to offer you, then it must be time for you to go.

But where there is light, there is darkness. Where there are orbs of smiles and flowers, there are daggers of blood and evil lurking in the shadows. I was 13 when I saw evil in one of its many forms. I had a headache the entire day, a sign to tell me that my third eye is in close proximity with something that did not align with my believes and morals.

I had expected something to jump out at me through the reflection off the mirror, or a hand to burst through the ground and grab me by the ankle. But no, evil in one of its many forms does not need it to be horrifying and scary.

Her hair was long, and her face was covered in what looked like burn marks.

Does Hell burn through you so quickly?

She looks human, but her fingers were split down the middle, thorns sticking out every finger, in which on each hand she has ten.

As she graced the corridors of school, she sheds these thorns that drop like nails to the floor, waiting for someone to step on those facing upwards. Have you ever gotten a sharp ache or pinch in the soles of your feet when you're walking sometimes?

If you have, then you would've probably stepped on a Hell's Thorn, or at least, that's what I called it. I never found out if she could see me, but when I realised I could touch the thorns and kick them out of sight, they'd roll off into some corner before dissolving into red ash.

Over a decade of being stuck between two worlds. I've done enough reading to understand the dangers of prancing along this line, not being able to shut one side off completely. So, when the ghosts, demons and spirits hide in the shadows of my room, or stare at me point-blank in the middle of the day like a normal human being would, it becomes normal.

They are everywhere, even when you cannot feel them. It gets confusing, when they look more human than some human beings.

Just how much longer... or how much more can I stay like this?

"I don't know where your diary is. If you're telling me it's here, then I'm telling you it's gone."

You are standing right smack in the middle of the school field, afternoon sun beaming down onto your hair. Squinting your eyes, you look around the large space of artificial grass and beyond that, the tracks, where students were finding some fun in running laps in the summer heat.

"But..."

"Lee Eun," Your heart breaks, more than necessary, because this is not the first time you've done it. "What you're looking for isn't here. The building your locker was in was torn down 20 years ago and if it was there, it's gone now. Or at least..." She watches you turn around and stare at the ground beneath your feet. "It's not here anymore."

Lee Eun was a student from your school that graduated in 2000. But she lost her life the day she graduated, only because she hadn't seen the brick falling from the nearby construction site where the school building you attended now was being built.

The silence becomes unbearable so you look up, but you only see the two male students jogging along the track and nobody else in sight. The orb did not come to collect Lee Eun's soul; this is not over.

The sweat has stuck your uniform to your back when you return to class, and it becomes apparent to you that a particular shadow has not shifted an inch since you've stepped into the classroom. You weren't in pain, so this entity is not a demon. Yet, you cannot identify its gender. It had no face, no hair, just... a volume of shadow and darkness and if the girls sitting before it knew it was there, they'd probably scream their head off.

You know its staring at you with every intention in its spirit, though you cannot see its eyes. And it stays when the teacher enters the classroom with a new student trailing behind him. For a moment, your attention is diverted to Jang Jun Hyuk, hair brown and skin fair. The girls in the class were already ogling over him, it's not a surprise anymore. But the shadow turns to look at him, then at you, and the darkness dissolves into the beige wall behind it, vanishing as Jang Jun Hyuk bows and introduces himself.

Then the king of the class speaks at a volume you know you weren't supposed to hear, but consider it a special talent now that you've honed the skills of your third eye.

"Strange vibes," Lee Hyunjae was probably talking to Younghoon. "Don't you think there's something off about him?"

"Are you sure you're not just threatened that there's someone who rivals our popularity?"

Jang Jun Hyuk bows to the class, then is instructed by the teacher to take a seat diagonally behind you, right in front of Lee Hyunjae.

"Hey, new kid."

A frown gently presses itself into your forehead when you can hear Younghoon give Hyunjae a gentle whack on his shoulder.

"Where did you move from?"

"Ah, I moved from another city. My father was transferred."

The shadow was now standing by the door of the classroom, watching the teacher scribble on the whiteboard.

"Cool," Hyunjae offers a friendly laugh. That's more like him. "Join us at lunch, provided you don't have a crowd to hang out with yet."

“Uh, sure.”

The shadow turns to look at you -- even without eyes, you know it’s watching you.

By the time you have been dragged to the cafeteria by your friends (though most people tend to think you’re weird for talking to yourself sometimes), Hyunjae has doubled over on some bench cracking up at a joke Jun Hyuk made.

Your friends can’t help but to draw your attention to the new addition to the group of popular males.

“Man fits right in, doesn’t he?”

“At least he looks like one of them.”

“y/n,” One of the two call out to you. “What happened to... what was her name?”

“Lee Eun.”

“Right, the ghost from twenty years ago. How is she?”

The two look at you with wide, glistening eyes. Most people aren’t as accommodating to your abilities, so it’s a blessing to have them by your side.

“I haven’t seen her since earlier today. She said she had a diary in school but she never found it.”

“Well, maybe it is still in school somewhere, locked up in some lost and found box or lost in some locker. Why else would she still be here and can’t... you know, move on?”

You shrug. I wish I knew.

The library was always comforting. The silence, the sound of pages being flipped and the occasional clicking of someone’s keyboard. And strangely enough, the library’s never really a hotspot for other beings except humans.

The peace was, unfortunately, disrupted though, when Jun Hyuk shows up with his backpack and tie neat around his collar. You greet him subtly before returning to your notes, but he sits down opposite you and renders your desire to be alone useless.

“Hyunjae and Younghoon told me you would be here.”

The pen in your grip gets lowered into the ivory sheets, gaze travelling up to look at him through your lashes. “Lee Hyunjae and Kim Younghoon? Why would they tell you where I am?”

Jun Hyuk offers a shy smile, diverting his brown irises away from you for a second. “Because I asked.”

The cold air stings your nose when you suck in a deep breath. “Why, do you need help with work? Because I’m literally the worst person to ask--”

“No, I just needed to know where I could find you so I could spend time with you.”

Your heart begins to thump madly, because it’s not everyday that a guy is so straightforward with his intentions to someone he just met.

“Uh--” You purse your lips in a bid to form a coherent sentence. “That’s really... honest of you.”

Jun Hyuk grins sweetly, eyes halving into crescents and creasing his skin around his lids. He has a dimple in his left cheek, a detail that you wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t sitting directly opposite you.

“So, can I?”

Confusion strikes you, only because assumption is a dangerous thing we like to do.

“Can you... what?”

“Hang out with you.”

The whir of the air-conditioner in the library becomes a little louder alongside the thumping that was now difficult to ignore in your head.

The blood rushes up to your cheeks and you can feel your face catching fire, so Jun Hyuk eases it by restarting a conversation.

“Anyway, have you done the work from today?”

“I--” You look down at the worksheet he was taking out from his bag. It’s barely filled. “I’ve been staring at it for awhile now--”

“Not good at Math?”

“I’m better at...” Jun Hyuk takes the worksheet and gets up, scooting over to the seat next to you. A gulp finds a way down your throat. “...English and Literature...”

“Well, it’s your lucky day because I’m great at Math.”

Up close, Jin Hyuk smells like fresh linen.

Not a great sign. He knows what makes a girl tick.

Jun Hyuk spends the rest of the afternoon helping you with the worksheet, and the glimmer in his eyes...

“Are you listening?”

Your jaw slacks in surprise, blinking your attention away from staring at him. A chuckle sounds from Jun Hyuk, who looks away with the slightest hint of pride.

Jun Hyuk makes you feel like you are prancing on clouds for the next few weeks. The little notes he passed in class that earned the attention of his new friends, Younghoon and Hyunjae. The sweets and treats that he’d leave on your desk before school and the after-school study sessions were your favourite part of the day.

He’d expected you to be calm and collected when he took the initiative to hold your hand under the table, but he could read how nervous and anxious you got, so he thinks it’s a good idea to ease that anxiety with a kiss on your cheek.

Lee Eun was no longer around to ask you for her diary, but the faceless shadow was still tailing you when you were in the classroom. It’s never interfered with your daily routine though, thus you choose to leave it be and enjoy being a normal teenager for once.

Three months after you met Jun Hyuk though, you could tell Hyunjae was deliberately steering away from him, dragging Younghoon along with him. You can’t help but wonder if it was because you and Jun Hyuk were now romantically involved and that Hyunjae had probably caught wind of the fact that you could see things that weren’t there, leading him to ostracise Jun Hyuk.

Not that it had that much effect anyway, Jun Hyuk was a charming boy on his own; he didn’t need Hyunjae’s help to ‘make it’ in school.

The day carries on as per usual with Jun Hyuk staying in school to study with you. Hands busy scribbling away and eyes darting across worksheets, you’ve always admired how focussed he gets when he does his work.

In attempt to pull him out of his stress-bubble, you cap on your pen and lean into him, resting your head on his shoulder after making sure there was nobody else left in the library.

“Do you want to take a break? You’ve been going at it for quite some time now.”

“I’m just about there, just hold on a minute, would you?”

A pout surfaces on your lips. “I know. I just... do you ever feel bad that Hyunjae and Younghoon aren’t as close to you as before?”

Jun Hyuk finishes the line he’s writing and looks up at you. “Why would I?”

“I don’t know, I just... you must’ve heard the rumor that I can see ghosts. Aren’t you upset that they might be leaving you out because of that?”

“You can see ghosts?” He scoffs. His attitude feels strange today, though he hasn’t said anything wrong. “That’s just stupid. And no, I don’t really care.”

“Oh,” A pause halts you, so you can think of an appropriate response. “You don’t... believe in ghosts or spirits?”

“No, that stuff is for kids.”

The thought of Jun Hyuk not believing in something you were known to be able to see was strangely more discomforting than not.

“Why’d you ask about Hyunjae and Younghoon? I thought you weren’t close with those guys?” He’s placing his pens into his pencil case and keeping his worksheets in his file. You start doing the same.

“I-- I’m not, I’m just asking for your sake.”

“My sake?” He clears the table of his items and leans back in his seat. “Why would it bother me? Is it because you don’t get to talk to them anymore?”

“What? Why would that matter to me?”

“I don’t know, you were pretty smitten with Hyunjae just a few weeks ago.”

“Since when?”

“You think I didn’t notice when you were smiling at him when he was making those jokes-- they weren’t even that funny?”

A frown has finally cemented itself between your brows. “I’m sorry, where is this jealousy even coming from? Why didn’t you just tell me when you saw it?”

Jun Hyuk goes silent, and you can tell he’s upset just by thinking about it. Sighing, you rest your head on his shoulder again in a bid to appease his anger.

“Alright, I’m sorry, okay? I was just concerned that you might feel left out or anything. And rest assured, I wasn’t flirting with Hyunjae.”

Jun Hyuk hums in response, reaching your chin to pull you closer. Your heart starts to pound in your ear when he doesn’t hesitate to press his lips against yours, the sudden intimacy catching you off-guard and sending chills down your spine.

Something doesn’t feel right.

“Jun--” You manage to cough out, just as he starts to bury his nose and lips into your neck. “Jun Hyuk, not here.”

“Come on, there’s nobody here. Isn’t it exciting?” He smirks into your skin but it makes you feel dirty.

“Jun, we really shouldn’t. I’m tired today so...” Gently pushing him off, his eyes are now filled with the ache of rejection. Somewhere inside you, you hope that he understands. But you also hope he knows he’s being an asshole.

“I... I think I’m going to go,” Backing away, you can hear your heart in your ears as you reverse, returning to the table to clear your stationery. His footsteps come dangerously close behind you before you are yanked around violently, each of your elbows coming into tight restraint in his palms.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going home,” When your eyes meet his, they are dark under the lighting. And even then, it seems like the man you trusted had turned to dust and blown away in the wind. “Please, let me go.”

“But don’t you trust me? Didn’t you say that you didn’t know what you’d do without me?” It’s horrifying when his nose comes dangerously closely to yours, his lips that were once part of a daydream now slowly being torn to shreds, forming an idea of a nightmare in your mind.

If you could feel darkness, you were sure you could hurl out nothing but black masses, when he aggressively pastes his lips to yours. There’s a stark difference being in love and being trustworthy... and being this person who was cutting off the blood supply from your face to your mouth now.

“Let me go, please!” Your strength is rendered useless in his tight grip around your wrists, and now he decides to shift his tongue to your neck, harshly sucking on the skin and flesh and making you want to hurl and sob instead. The struggle you offered was of no use to Jun Hyuk, not when he is able to shove you backwards and plaster your back to the study desk with all your pens and pencils under your back.

“Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?!”

“You should’ve thought about that before you kissed me first in the garden the other day, no?”

The tears finally stream when the betrayal sets in. Not even prayers would work anymore, would they?

Using his upper body weight to hold you to the table, the metal clinking of his belt comes like a warning when you can feel the tears wetting the strands of your hair.

“Jun Hyuk, please...”

“Shut up,” Ice cold fingers run up the length of your thighs and around your hips under your skirt, scratching your skin as he removes your underwear. “Isn’t this how much you trust me?”

Sobs run through gritted teeth as your chin tilts to the ceiling, his body absorbing every ounce of struggle and force you were exerting on him. But, it was so easily drained into him that you were gradually turning limp and lifeless. Hearing him undo his zipper while he wets and marks your skin with his tongue and teeth shuts off all your senses. Your eyes flutter shut with resignation, the shivering and trembling seeping away with your need to escape.

Help me.

Something fuses loudly. The lights go off.

“Who’s there?! Motherfucker!”

The zip goes back up, and the weight on you shifts away.

“I’m going to kill you!”

His voice wears away, getting softer with his footsteps.

Still crying, you pull up your underwear that was dangling at your ankles and push yourself off the surface of the table. Everything on the desk gets swept into your back before you stumble out of the secluded study area, the light of the late sunset greeting your tear stained face.

Reaching home feels like reaching the end point in a marathon, just that instead of feeling pride and glory, you were feeling nothing but worthlessness.

The lukewarm water feels like a gentle hug around your body when you sink into the cold marble, knees propped up and surfaced with your feet flat against the base of the bathtub.

Swollen eyes from crying but too tired to cry somemore, and you find difficulty in even remembering why you even fell for Jun Hyuk in the first place.

It was my fault for bringing it up. I shouldn’t have brought it up.

Maybe if I didn’t have this gift then I didn’t need to ask or worry about Jun Hyuk being ostracised. Maybe it shouldn’t be called a gift after all.

This pain is temporary, right? This small blade can do more than ease the pain. This blood that colors the water can do more than dry the tears from my eyes.

I wish I wasn’t born with this gift.

You close your eyes and let yourself sink into the tub, under the surface of the water. The water starts to feel thicker, and before you can count to five, it starts going up your nose.

But then it feels like you’ve been sucked into another dimension and thrown back onto your bed when you gasp, sitting up and choking out what feels like water in your throat.

Your hands fumble around yourself, and you wince when you look down at your wrists. The vertical cut looked more like a scar that’s already healed, rather than an injury you had chosen to inflict on yourself just hours before.

The clock strikes 3.33am, and while you would usually be kind of freaked out because 3 is not an auspicious number, you can’t help but to feel some kind of relief when you realised you were still alive.

The next few days you spend in the shadows. Jun Hyuk tries to apologise to you on more than one occasion, but when you glitch and nearly break down when he gets anywhere near you, your friends start to understand that something had happened.

Why would you want to take your life all of a sudden?

Mr. Shadowman doesn’t leave you alone though. Instead, it starts following you more aggressively, showing up in the strangest of places and in the most horrendous positions. You had seen it standing with its feet planted to the ceiling of the cafeteria, then again standing perfectly still behind the classroom door when the teacher closed it.

Then it finally follows you into the bathroom after school. You’ve changed your studying location to your classroom, so you wouldn’t need to worry about being alone.

But no matter how many times you see this shadow, seeing it curled up under the sink in the female’s toilet makes you yelp and jump backwards, not even enticing a reaction from it.

“You...” Gripping the edge of the sink, you squat and stare at it. “What do you need from me?”

“I wouldn’t go anywhere nearer to it if I were you.” Your eyes dart up into the broken glass above the sink. Seeing Hyunjae staring at you through the reflection, with the pillar hiding the rest of his body was surprising.

It dawns on you that whatever you were seeing, Hyunjae could see it too.

The shadow remained still under the sink, crouched into a mass like someone holding its knees to its chest. The water dripping from under the sink slips through the mass like it wasn’t there. Hyunjae spares you a few seconds to stare at it some more until he grabs your arm and pulls you out of the toilet.

“What the-- don’t touch me--” Yanking your wrist out of his hands, you jerk away from him. The impact pulls your sleeves upwards, revealing the bruises that Jun Hyuk had left on you just a few days ago -- and the scar of the cut down your forearm.

His attention is stolen by the marks, cuing you to nervously pull your sleeves back down as you steal a glance at Hyunjae’s face.

“Don’t interact with that thing,” He advises after a few moments of silence. “It’s been following you.”

Looking up with a harsh frown on your face, confusion and anger starts to seep through your bones.

“You mean to tell me you could see these things all this while?”

Hyunjae’s eyes fill with a tiny pinch of guilt, but he doesn’t look away.

“That thing is harmless,” Your thumb brushes across the area where the bruise was hidden under the material of your sleeve. “It saved me.”

“If it’s harmless or any bit human then why doesn’t it have a face? Or eyes or hair or a mouth?”

“So, you can’t see what it is either. Have you seen others? Ghosts, the angel orbs, demons--”

“Get this clear in your head, I am not here to discuss what you can see,” Hyunjae takes a step closer and looks at you with an expression you can’t read. Was he angry? Frustrated? Worried? Concerned?

“But do not engage with whatever that is. They only stick around if you entertain it, and right now, you are just short of becoming friends with it.”

“You make it sound like you know everything about that other world.”

“And you make it sound like you haven’t seen a demon and that there are no dangers of it.”

The proximity starts to make you anxious; his build is similar to Jun Hyuk’s and the physical confrontation starts to knock on your skull is all the ways possible. Hyunjae retreats when he notices your eyes are unable to meet his now, and he walks away with his fists clenched.

That night, you are unable to fall asleep. Not with the new revelation that Hyunjae can see the same things you do. Or was it just the shadow that he can see?

Has he seen the orbs or angels or demons?

You sit up in your bed, eyes adjusting to the darkness when a thud wakes you up. The crickets outside are loud in the silent night, but it takes you just a split second to recognise the shadow standing in the corner where the door meets the corner of the room.

Keeping your eyes peeled, you fumble around at your nightstand, searching for the button of the lamp. It doesn’t disappear though, when the amber light illuminates the cream-pink room.

“What do you need?” The query comes out more like a whisper, because most spirits you meet are ghosts who need your help or are willing to talk to you -- most of them have faces and eyes and have some resemblance to being human at some point of time in their life.

The shadow pulls itself off the wall, and turns from a flat, regular shadow into a mass of darkness; the same way it was in the classroom when you first saw it, then later under the sink in the bathroom.

This is the first time this has happened -- a shadow that was very obviously a being and yet you cannot decide if it was something harmful or something that once walked the Earth.

By now, the shadow is just about two metres away from your bed, yet you find yourself inching backwards because you cannot predict what it would (or could) do to you.

Then it lifts an arm that reaches out to you, darkness flowing like steam off its limbs as it gets closer to you. But just before it can touch you, a flash of brightness interrupts your interaction.

“Stop.”

Your room is brightly lit up for a split second, blinding you from seeing the shadow. So when your eyes come back into focus, your eyes are about to fall out of your skull when you recognise the back of someone you know.

Hyunjae was standing right next to your bed, between you and the shadow, now visibly a physical blob of darkness.

“You have no business here with her. You don’t even need to be here.”

Silence.

Hyunjae looks at the shadow intently. He is listening to it talk to him, but you hear nothing but the crickets chirping outside.

“Jang Jun Hyuk will be mine to deal with, not yours. You do not need to be here.”

Lee Hyunjae... just what are you?

“Seer but is she a...”

“What did you just say?” You blurt out when the strange croak gets to your head. Hyunjae flinches and turns around to look at you, eyes flickering with worry before turning back to the shadow.

Now, you can see blue orbs for eyes and skin pulled and stretched like it had been worn out through hundreds of years. It was neither a ghost nor human.

It didn’t look like Lee Eun or the elderly man you saw when you were 8, nor did it look like the female demon you saw at 13.

“Leave, you do not belong here.”

“To deserves she know.”

“Know what?” Impatience and fear was getting the better of you, and if Hyunjae was more than human, he would know. “...That I can see you?”

“No, she cannot know!” Hyunjae tries to block you from the ghoul. “That is not your place to tell her!”

The ghoul proves more powerful than Hyunjae and reaches right through him, creating a bright outline of his limb through Hyunjae’s chest.

“No!”

That was the last thing you hear just as the shadow touches your forehead, snapping your neck backwards and sending your memory into a dimension you cannot recognise.

“You will be blessed with eternal protection.”

That was the blessing the elderly man offered you when you were eight. Little did you know that he was merely reading a blessing pinned to your existence on its own.

"The son of Saint Michael had fallen in love with the fairy of the mortals. Saint Michael hadn’t offered the tiniest bit of worry or concern over his son becoming star-crossed lovers. Angels were meant to be with angels and fairies with fairies... Granted that even if you did know about his son’s feelings, you would eventually realise that it was against the laws of the world, for you were a gateway for the Good to seep into the mortal world. But what Saint Michael did not know was that the fairy his son had fallen in love with had stored the same amount of love he had for her in his heart.”

“The Heavens forbid star-crossed lovers between the two breeds of beings. Saint Michael himself couldn’t believe it when his son caved into his feelings right after you did. Fairies were fickle-minded; the only beings of the world of immortals that once walked the Earth as human beings. It was expected that you would provide the same love to the Archangel’s son -- but when he decided to embrace you in his all-gold halo of light... Saint Michael knew he could not afford losing the bearings of his son. He had decided that mortalising you would be a smart decision; keeping you close by letting you protect your ability to connect with this world but restraining you from ever returning to Hyunjae’s side.”

“Yet, like mortals, even immortal beings are unable to fight the strength of love. Hyunjae had decided descend to the world of the Humans and Mortals... to protect you by your side in your second life, allowing you to see him, touch him.”

The day you were reborn was the day Hyunjae had decided to humanise himself, albeit the process was draining and set him on a ticking clock from returning to the other world.

The ghoul looks at you, his blue eyes now revealing himself as a fairy who had disguised himself, in a bid to warn you before you had sold your heart to Hyunjae, something you cannot be with.

“You are paying the price for a fault that was his, do you not bear any resentment?”

The memories return. Flashes of Hyunjae smiling at you because he knew you could see him. The kisses that stained his skin because you were a mere mortal with abilities, and he was a being that was meant for more.

“How is this his fault?”

The fairy is silent, thinking of the words to say.

“Had he lived up to the responsibilities of being the son of Saint Michael, he wouldn’t have caved in.”

Your hair feels light around your shoulders, watching the fairy slowly morph into something less ambiguous.

“What would have happened if we didn’t fall in love in my first life?”

The fairy had grown wings that looks like glass, reflecting light into seven colors into the abyss beyond you. He looks at you, blue eyes never faltering.

“You would’ve become an Undine Fairy, and Hyunjae would’ve had to return to the world of the Skies--”

“And I would never see him again.”

He can see that you’ve had a glimpse into your past life; the forbidden love you had for Hyunjae now buried deep inside you. It feels like someone had just stuck a shovel 6 feet into your heart and dug out every remnant he could find.

“Would you have let him go, had he been true to his existence and you had become an Undine?”

“There’s no way I can answer that, can I?”

The fairy blinks and starts walking backwards. “The rules between the two Worlds are forged in stone, but everybody knows that the matters of the spirit and soul cannot be bound by tangible logic. Your choice depends on what you believe: will you choose to believe what you see or what you feel?”

The question echoes inside your head, and the world around you flashes brightly like you had just died and walked into heaven.

Your consciousness returns to current time, eyes fluttering open as your alarm clock rings you awake. Sitting opposite you, eyes closed as you watch him snoozing lightly despite sitting in a chair, you feel a pinch in your chest.

It’s not his fault, and never will be.

#hyunjae imagines #the boyz #the boyz hyunjae #hyunjae #the boyz imagines #the boyz fanfic #the boyz scenario #tbz imagines

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krisdreaming · 5 years ago

Note

May I ask scenarios (or headcanons, as you prefer) where Iwaizumi and Kuroo(separately) declare their love for the reader, but she is surprised and thinks he is joking because nobody has ever liked her and she thinks it's surreal for her crush to like her back? Thanks and have a nice day!

Scenarios coming up!! It’s been a minute since I’ve written for Kuroo I missed him ;-;

When you get paired up with Iwaizumi for your English presentation, you can’t tell whether the universe is smiling upon you, or just laughing at you. One thing is for sure, though: if ever there was a perfect opportunity to get to know him better, this is it.

Over the following weeks as you work on the project, you find yourself looking forward to the afternoons spent in the library. At first, you feel a little awkward, and you’re all too aware of how close his arm is to yours and the way your cheeks heat up when he grins at you. Before you know it, any traces of awkwardness are gone, and you even find yourself chattering easily with him, even when the topic has nothing to do with your project at all. Sometimes, you even find yourselves laughing together. The sound of his laughter settles warm in your middle, like you never knew what it was like to feel so happy before.

Normally, your circles rarely overlapped. Now, though, it seems you’re crossing paths more and more. In the halls, he always offers you a smile and a wave as he passes, even though he’s usually surrounded by his popular friends from the volleyball team who must surely wonder why he’s interacting with a loser like you. When you look back, Oikawa or Hanamaki always jabs him in the ribs, giving him a sly smile. You always wilt a bit inside at that. You don’t want to be the reason he’s mocked by his friends.

Finally, the day of your presentation comes. You knew it was going to end, but you can’t help but feel sad that your time with him is over. You know you’ll never be able to tell him how you feel, so you’ll have to be content with watching him from afar and settle for smiles that aren’t meant for you.

Leaving the classroom, you’re surprised to find that he’s hovering right beside you. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, and he gives you a small smile. There’s something shaky about it. You frown.

“Iwaizumi-kun, is everything alright?” You ask. Normally, he’d leave the classroom with Matsukawa, but his friend is nowhere in sight. You hope, with a cold feeling settling in your chest, that he doesn’t think you screwed up the presentation somehow.

“Everything’s fine.” He puts more effort into the smile, and it’s a little warmer now. You relax a bit. “I was just wondering. Do you have a few minutes before lunch?”

“Yeah. What’s up?” You try to keep your tone light. Fewer and fewer students are around you as everyone files into their classrooms for lunch. The hallway is nearly empty when he comes to a stop.

“I really enjoyed working on this project with you.” He begins, and you can’t help the smile that starts on your lips.

“So did I.” You admit.

“I’m really glad that it gave me a chance to get to know you, because I never realized that you were such a cool person.” You only nod, because right now there are no words left in your brain. You had a dream almost like this once. You’re probably having it again. Slowly, so he doesn’t notice, you pinch the inside of your forearm. You don’t wake up, because you’re not asleep. “So I was wondering if, even though the project is over now, maybe you’d like to hang out this weekend. I really like you, Y/N.” He finally says, and you’d never realized that acting was one of his many talents. With the expression on his face, you almost believe him.

A bubble of laughter bursts out. It’s the first reaction you can muster. Now, he just looks bemused. “Where’s Mattsun? Did he put you up to this?” You peer around him, but you don’t see anyone lurking around or hear any muffled chuckles. “Or was it Oikawa’s idea?” His face has completely fallen.

“It was my idea.” He says in a small voice. “Y/N…” At the way he says your name, your heart drops. “I really do like you. What would make you think-”

“Why would someone like you actually like someone like me?” You blurt out, and he clumsily reaches for your hand. You let him take it.

“Because you’re smart, and funny, and pretty.” His cheeks are starting to turn the slightest bit pink. “I would never say anything like this as a… as a joke. Please, I’m sorry for whatever I did that would make you think I would.”

“No, no.” You shake your head. “I’m sorry.” You’re still in disbelief, and the words are spilling out mostly on their own. “I guess I just figured you’d never even look twice at me. I don’t know why I laughed.” You hang your head, waiting for him to take back his confession. Instead, he gives your hand a squeeze. “Your friends don’t think I’m lame?” You finally peer back up at him, genuinely curious.

“No!”He reaches for the back of his neck. “Actually… my friends have been begging me to ask you out for weeks.” He admits.

“Oh.” You murmur. Slowly, you feel the smile returning to your face. “I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“Don’t be.” He pulls you just a little closer. “Just tell me you’ll go out with me this weekend.” He gives you an expectant half smile.

“Yes. I’d really, really love that.” Suddenly, you feel indescribably light.

Ever since you became the manager of Nekoma’s volleyball team, you’ve been spending a lot more time with Kuroo. It’s to be expected seeing as he is the captain, but the unexpected side-effect is that you’ve begun to notice a lot of small things about him that you’ve never seen before. The way he treasures his friendship with Kenma. The way he works so hard to make the battle of the trash heap happen for coach Nekomata. The way he secretly cares so much for each member of the team, beneath his jabs and sly remarks. The way he smiles at you sometimes that makes your heart drop into your stomach.

You are so screwed. The more you learn about what an amazing person Kuroo is, the more you’re convinced he’d never possibly fall for someone as ordinary as you.

As nationals draw closer, the team practices more and more. You can’t help filling up with pride as you watch how hard they work, putting in so many hours to improve themselves even more. Kuroo comes up beside you after practice one day. The rest of the team has already left the gym, so it’s only the two of you.

“They’re really working hard.” He announces, startling you from the chart you’d been filling in. “I think we’ve really got a good shot this year.”

“I know you do.” You nod. “I’ve been watching you guys practice. There isn’t a better team out there.” You say confidently. He laughs.

��A bit biased, aren’t you?” He nudges your arm with his. You duck your head.

“Maybe.” You shrug, grinning back at him.

“We couldn’t have gotten here without you, you know.” He adds. “I know the guys don’t tell you enough, me included, but having you to help us out has made everything go so much smoother. You’re the reason we can practice as hard as we do.” You feel the tips of your ears start to burn at his praise, and you hide your smile behind your hand.

“I’m serious!” He says, probably interpreting your flustered reaction as disbelief. “You’re amazing. I really admire you, and I don’t tell you that enough.” His expression has grown serious, all of a sudden. You twist your fingers together in your lap.

“Um, actually.” He runs a hand through his hair, causing a few strands to change direction. “I think you’re really special, Y/N.” He isn’t quite meeting your gaze, and it’s obvious to you that he’s trying very hard to compliment you.His words sound a little too much like a confession, though he probably doesn’t realize it, and you can’t listen any longer.

“Stop.” You blurt out, and he does, lips slightly parted. For a few moments, a different expression flashes through his eyes. “You don’t have to say all that. I’m here because I want to be, no need to try to flatter me.” You offer him a weak smile.

“Y/N.” He says it so firmly that you’re taken aback. “I’m not trying to flatter you. God.” He pauses, running a hand down his face. “I’m trying to tell you how much I like you.” He grabs for your hands, and in your shock, you let him take them. His grip is gentle. “Because I do. But if you don’t feel the same, then - just say the word.” He releases a single chuckle. “I can handle it.” He loosens his grip on your hands, and moves to pull them away. You grab ahold of them before he can.

It’s the plaintive expression on his face that allows you to finally open your mouth and speak. “Wait, I do. I do feel the same, Kuroo.” At that, he breaks into a smile. “I just didn’t think that you-”

“Well.” His laughter bubbles out in relief, and at the sound you smile a little bigger. “That makes two of us, then.” He gives your hands a squeeze. “I’m really glad.” He adds. “Otherwise, that could have been really awkward.”

#Haikyuu #Haikyuu imagines #Iwaizumi Hajime #Iwaizumi Hajime x reader #Iwaizumi x reader #Kuroo Tetsurou #Kuroo Tetsurou x reader #Kuroo x reader #Haikyuu x reader #request #queued #i finally feel like i'm getting my groove back!#yay!#500

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lankoshine · 4 years ago

Text

Star Wars. Far away galaxy forever Khaetskaya Elena Vladimirovna

My preface: I've wanted to post this for a long time. This text literally expresses my attitude to what is happening with my favorite character Anakin Skywalker, and confirms my doubts about the "wisdom" of the Jedi Order (they are not fools, but they are not wise men either). Wisdom should include all aspects and all-round thinking, but at times it "stagnates", "ossifies" and turns into a rotting swamp, in which the light that it should carry is drowning. And as a result, enlightenment turns into extinction and darkness.

Further words of the author:

Jedi: "the era of stagnation"

“The main content of the second trilogy, that is, the prequel, was the story of how Anakin crossed over to the dark side of the Force and how the entire Templar was destroyed ... That is, excuse the reservation: not the Templars, of course. Jedi. All Jedi were destroyed. Except for a few - Obi Wan Kenobi and Teacher Yoda. The first film, The Phantom Menace, portrayed Anakin as a boy; the next two - "The Clone Wars" and "Revenge of the Sith" - a handsome young man.

Anakin's childhood was not that unbearably difficult or completely bleak, but it could have been better. His mother Shmi and he himself (father, by the way, is unknown) were in slavery from the dealer of spare parts Watto, on the familiar "hole of the universe" - the planet Tatooine. Since Anakin from an early age was distinguished by diverse talents (for repairing equipment, for programming), the owner encouraged his studies, and the boy was busy with creativity: he would assemble a racing car from the trash, then he would build a robot and program artificial intelligence for it.

So, by the way, the boy Anakin created, again, the well-known droid C-3PO. Talkative, cowardly, endowed with useless good manners, the bore C-3PO, whom we fell in love with as Luke Skywalker's "funny magic assistant", it turns out that it was once designed by his father. (But then this droid's memory was erased, so he started the "original" trilogy from scratch.)

Naturally, such an outstanding embodiment of the Force as the boy Anakin could not remain unnoticed for long, and soon he was discovered by the Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn, who immediately recognized the Young Anakin as the Chosen One. According to ancient prophecy, the Chosen One must restore balance to the Force (by exterminating the Dark Ones). In any case, the Jedi were obliged to take possession of this promising child.

By and large, it was the Light Jedi who brought Anakin the first real grief. It was they who separated him from his mother when they took him from Tatooine for the sake of a "great future" which, for Anakin himself, remained an empty phrase. The reason why the powerful (and, undoubtedly, not in need of funds) light and noble knights left the boy's mother in slavery and inflicted severe moral and psychological trauma on him remains unknown. You can find some kind of "rational" explanations, for example: a real Jedi must free himself from all earthly attachments - but this does not change the essence of the matter. Which of the nine-year-old Anakin is a "real Jedi"? And why should he suddenly free himself from attachment to his mother? After all, this is the most natural and, in general, the most positive of all emotions - love for mom!

Jedi ideology, presented in different ways from the screen, is constantly bursting at the seams. You can, for example, remember how Obi Wan Kenobi, in the form of a Force ghost, appears to Luke in Return of the Jedi: "You must stop Darth Vader." Luke, a mentally healthy and sensible young man, answers quite logically: "I cannot kill my own father." Then the luminous ghost of Obi Wan sighs and says, “Then everything is lost. You were our last hope." What happens? That the Jedi were urging Luke to commit an unnatural act - parricide? And they did it right from the focus of the Power! If the earthly, living Obi Wan spoke so, it would be possible to write off such speeches for the usual human ability to make mistakes, to be delusional. But Obi Wan is already a ghost of the Force, so he cannot be wrong. Why is he pushing Luke to the brink of a psychological and moral abyss? Maybe this is the last test? Provocation? Harsh - and risky, especially when Luke remains "the last hope" ...

The Jedi's behavior towards Anakin Skywalker looks much more brutal and far more risky. No matter what they argued, remaining within the framework of naked theorizing, in practice the picture looked monstrous: in fact, they raised a man with their own hands, for whom it was the most natural choice to kill all the Jedi.

Moreover, the viewer, on common sense, comes to the conclusion that Anakin, in general, if he was not completely right, then, in any case, was not greatly mistaken when he chose the Dark Side.

Let's try to trace the path that led Anakin to the dark side.

... Qui-Gon took the boy with him to the planet Coruscant (where the capital of the Galactic Republic was located) and demanded permission from the Jedi Council to teach the Chosen One in all the intricacies of Jedism. By the way, the Jedi Council is very pompous meeting in the spectacular Jedi Temple on the same Coruscant. This temple plays an important role in the history of Anakin and consists of five giant spiers. The largest spire, in the center, serves as a sacred place for contemplation. The other four are the High Council, the Primordial Knowledge Council, the Reconciliation Council, and the Reassignment Council. (This structure alone can judge how complicated, even bureaucratic, everything was arranged in the Jedi world ... somehow not in Zen, to be honest!)

So, the Council did not give permission to train the boy Anakin. There is nothing to spoil the child! First, Anakin is too old to start training. The boy is already at a conscious age, he has significant life experience. It will be difficult to brainwash such a guy. Secondly, Anakin experiences negative emotions - fear and anger. Which is not surprising given his past. (The fact that the attitude of the Jedi to Anakin's life circumstances was the reason for the increase in fear and anger is not taken into account.) Quite conveniently, there was an occasion to regale Anakin (and the audience) with the maxim: “Fear is the way to the dark side. Fear breeds anger; anger breeds hatred; hatred is the key to suffering. I feel a strong fear in you, ”says the wise Master Yoda to Anakin during the Jedi Council.

Yoda is right in essence: fear is the father of many troubles and vices. But how soulless and out of place it all is!

Eventually, the dying Qui-Gon will instruct Obi Wan to train Anakin. Here the Council, albeit reluctantly, agrees. Why?

The most logical thing would be to assume that the Council, though slowly, came to the conclusion: it is much more dangerous to leave such a gifted boy unattended at all than to start his training, despite the "strong fear" and other "shortcomings."

At first glance, the choice of a mentor looks somewhat artificial. Obi Wan Kenobi was considered a very average Jedi, so Anakin kept saving his life along the way. The behavior of Obi Wan himself regularly looks completely reckless (if not "stupid"), and the young student had to "clean up" after the teacher. Although it is postulated that they were friends, Obi Wan constantly nags Anakin and actually humiliates him. Then Anakin, and for the umpteenth time, has to pull the "mentor" out of the next pit.

So was Qui-Gon Jinn wrong about Obi Wan Kenobi? Why did he choose such a weak teacher for such a dangerous young man?

According to one suggestion, Obi Wan was just pretending. But in fact ... Secretly ... Carefully hiding from everyone, he was a mighty Jedi. He just successfully pretended to be a weakling. But then why? Where is the logic?

Or maybe the Jedi reasoned like this: since we could not get rid of the inconvenient Anakin, we will give him a frankly bad mentor so that he does not reach the Jedi heights?

But here - in general, it does not even lurk, but lies on the surface - there is a great danger: surpassing the teacher, the student begins to wise up on his own and in the end it is not known what he will think of (which, in fact, happened). No, a strong student needs a strong teacher, and the Jedi could not help but understand this (otherwise how did they even manage to exist for so long).

It seems to us that the answer is simple: and there was simply no one better.

The Jedi in the prequel are reminiscent of the Politburo of the mature stagnation era. A formal approach, indifference to a particular living being, a complete lack of flexibility, undercover intrigues ... Yoda - and he looks ossified in his great wisdom. Humanity will come to the old Taoist much later, when the Jedi are exterminated. Presumably, then Obi Wan will cover his famous ability not to condemn anyone (you see, he had enough time, living as a hermit on Tatooine, to think over everything that happened and analyze his own behavior first of all).

The Jedi actually used Anakin. And this is very insulting: to understand that you were taken advantage of by those whom you idolized, considered the focus of the Power of Light.

By the way, Obi Wan Kenobi had a flaw with the Jedi Code: Anakin did not understand many of the provisions. And then Chancellor Palpatine appears, who begins to secretly, but consistently and intelligently cultivate the seeds of Darkness in Anakin's soul ...

* * *

So, one of the most important factors in Anakin's transition to the dark side was the lack of trust in mentors. And in this, Anakin was right: such mentors do not deserve any trust. Virtually every prominent member of the Jedi Council had a purpose of their own, and Anakin did not like being a puppet of someone else's interests at all.

One of the most important reasons for Anakin's fall is his forbidden love for Padma Amidala.

It is obvious to Palpatine (as to any sane creature) that one who has loved ones is extremely vulnerable. Therefore, noticing Anakin's attraction to Padmé, Palpatine arranges so that Obi Wan and his student receive a responsible task - to be the beauty's personal guard. And then Palpatine could just relax and wait, allowing events to develop naturally.

The Jedi Council further aided Palpatine's plan by recalling Obi Wan for another assignment. So in the end, a handsome young Anakin, not fully trained, subject to all sorts of passions and weaknesses (the Council is well aware of all this, but for some reason no one, not even Yoda, attaches much importance to this), is left alone with a young beautiful girl ... Of course, this girl is formerly a queen, and now a senator, and Anakin is previously a slave of some dealer in spare parts on a seedy planet, and now a Jedi-dropout and a bodyguard ... But when and who was it stopping?

However, yes. After all, the Jedi explained to the young Skywalker that passionate feelings are absolutely unacceptable. Was there an explanatory conversation? Was! What's more?

Only the "era of stagnation" in the Jedi world can explain such thoughtlessness. Here, what is called the “formal attitude” to the personality, its individual characteristics, and its fate worked in full measure.

Didn't it occur to any of the Jedi that it was more than enough to tell the young boy about the "harmful passions"? In order to achieve true dispassion - not the ability to control oneself after a sleepless night spent in hot fantasies, but real dispassion, when a young girl evokes nothing but warm, brotherly or paternal feelings - years of spiritual exercise are needed. And even then there are breakdowns, because all people are human and nothing human is alien to them.

And then for some reason everyone decided that it was enough for a guy overwhelmed by passions to say: "Don't look at the beautiful Padmé, she is not for you, and in general your destiny is celibacy, because that's how it is for us, the Jedi," and that's it, the job is ready , he will obey. What arrogance!

... But we remember that arrogance is one of the greatest vices in the interpretation of "late Ben", "officer and gentleman" performed by Guinness. The true wisdom of Alec Guinness gave us the answers to all our questions twenty years ago ...

However, let us follow how the Jedi themselves dug their own grave.

Anakin's feeling is passionate; his love is earthly, he longs to possess a girl. In theory, such feelings are a direct route to the dark side. In theory. In fact, they represent a completely natural stage in the emotional and physical development of a young person. Demanding that the young man behave like an eight-hundred-year old man, the Jedi actually expected the impossible from him: that he should distort, mutilate his nature. He, in their opinion, should not improve himself, not investigate and subordinate himself to reason, but simply break.

Anakin had the will to disobey. And in his attraction to Padmé, he is absolutely right.

And then the detonator of Anakin's first earthly affection is triggered: in a dream he sees that his mother is in danger. The Jedi were of no help to Shmi Skywalker. They simply took away from her the only living being that she held dear. Well, yes, she later got married, but how can you forget your son, being apart from him? Of course, she was sad and not completely happy.

And then - the raid of the sand people (the very same Tatooine natives, whom we saw in the "original" trilogy, in "A New Hope"), who captured Shmi as prey. This is what caused Anakin's disturbing dreams - he did not cut ties with his mother. The young man already knows: it is useless to ask the Jedi for help in such an "empty" case as rescuing some kind of Shmi Skywalker on the distant planet Tatooine. Serious adults have more important things to do. Therefore, Anakin simply takes the matter of saving mom into his own hands and flies to Tatooine. True, the Council sends him some orders after him, but this is about mom! And Anakin sends the Council to hell.

Mom still has time to die in the arms of her beloved son. And then Anakin is overcome with hatred. Undoubtedly, this hatred affected everyone who treated his mother so cruelly. Including the Jedi Council. But only sand people were at hand for revenge. And, not remembering himself from grief and rage, Anakin exterminated the entire tribe, including the elderly and children.

It was here that Master Yoda felt the "great outrage of the Force." Mostly caused not by the death of a minor barbarian tribe, but by the rage of a young Skywalker. It's time to actually draw at least some conclusions ...

And Anakin completely lost faith in the Light side. What intriguers they are, liars and mumblers! They didn’t really teach anything, they jerked them with discontent, tortured them with senseless (unrealizable) demands, they forbade saving my mother, they forbade me to love Padme, they forbade me to be a normal person at all - but what in return? Never mind! The sacred right to be a brainless tool in the hands of politicians who do not even consider it necessary to explain something to him.

Then another episode takes place, which can be considered the most important step of Anakin on the path to Darkness. To some extent, the Light Ones are again responsible for this step. We are talking about the operation to free the captured Chancellor Palpatine (then he had not yet revealed his true face - for some reason, even the wise Yoda did not know about anything and did not feel any "disturbances of the Force").

The intrigue was complex, but overall it looked like Chancellor Palpatine was captured by rebels - separatists. Their leader, Count Dooku, seriously wounded Obi Wan Kenobi, after which Anakin had to join the battle, who defeated the count. And then Palpatine gives the order: to decapitate the unarmed, defeated enemy - "he is too dangerous to be left alive!" (recalls, by the way, the requirement of the ghost of old Ben: to destroy Darth Vader).

Anakin, however, freezes in some doubts: somehow not chivalrously ... The enemy is defeated, he surrendered, he is wounded and unarmed ... But Palpatine is the chancellor, Palpatine insists, and Anakin obeys.

Why did Anakin obey an inhuman order that seemed wrong to him? And why on other occasions did he violate the wrong orders of the Council?

Because Anakin didn't trust the Jedi at all. And he did not have a clear idea which orders were correct and which were not, so the young man was forced to be guided by one single criterion: his own opinion. If it was about mom, then the advice is not a decree to him: in any case, mom needs to be saved. When it comes to Padmé, the Council is also not a decree: he loves Padmé. But if we are talking about Count Dooku, who is not related to Anakin at all ... here a hesitant young man who does not have clear moral criteria may obey the order. After all, in the end, he was trained: the Council is always right, obey the orders of your elders!

But the Council, as it turned out, was almost never right ...

* * *

Anakin was still with the Jedi — perhaps by momentum, but most likely — because of Padmé. Anakin eventually entered into a secret marriage with her (witnessed by two droids, our old friends R2-D2 and C-3PO).

Meanwhile, the Council is giving Anakin another reason to part with the Light Side. For starters, the young man is publicly humiliated by refusing to be promoted to the rank of Jedi Master. Moreover, he is ordered to spy on his patron, Palpatine. And this is simply low.

And then Anakin had another ominous dream: as if Padmé had died. He remembered well how the affair ended when he had a similar vision of his mother. Therefore, Anakin is terrified.

He is still trying to find some way out of the situation, remaining on the Light side. It seems that the Jedi temple contains some information that could save Padmé. But access to this part of the archive for him - as for the uninitiated - is closed. And the Jedi refused to raise the young Skywalker to the rank of Jedi, despite the high patronage of Chancellor Palpatine.

Finally, Anakin turns to the wisest of all - to Master Yoda: prophetic visions persistently tell him about the imminent death of a loved one ... what to do, what to do?

In response, Master Yoda burst out with a priceless sermon:

“Death is a natural part of life,” he said in his inimitable florid style. - Rejoice for your loved ones, who have transformed into Power. Do not mourn for them and do not grieve for them. After all, attachment leads to jealousy, and a shadow of greed leads to jealousy. You must let go of everything that you are so afraid of losing. Fear of loss can lead to the Dark Side. "

Oh, how wonderful - for eight hundred years! But it is definitely not feasible when you are barely twenty and the woman you love is facing death. (Subsequently, Yoda tried to advise something similar to Luke, but he stopped in time: it did not work with father, and will not work with his son.)

... And Chancellor Palpatine is right there: he promises to save Padmé if Anakin goes to the dark side. The dark side, according to Palpatine, has the power to conquer death.

By and large, there is nothing holding Anakin on the Light Side anymore. And he becomes a supporter of Palpatine - all, "with giblets."

And then finally the truth is revealed to him: Chancellor Palpatine is the very Sith Lord Darth Sidious, whom the Jedi hunted for a long time and without success.

Once again, Anakin’s moral precariousness is evident, and nothing has convinced him that the Jedi Council can be trusted. Discipline required the Sith Lord to be “turned in”. And Anakin reports his discovery to one of the masters, Windu. And he once again demonstrates distrust of Anakin: they say, you wait for me in the Jedi temple, and I will grab a couple of faithful knights and go and figure it out myself. Maybe this was the last straw. Either way, Anakin changed his mind.

Palpatine promised to help rescue Padmé; Palpatine was the only one who treated him with respect and support all this time. Therefore, Anakin at the last moment intervened in the duel between Master Windu and Palpatine and with a sudden blow cut off the Master's hand with a sword. After that, Darth Sidious easily destroys Windu. The choice is made, the die is cast, the Rubicon is crossed. From now on, Anakin finally goes to the dark side and receives a Sith name - Darth Vader.

* * *

It is instructive to compare how Palpatine / Darth Sidious / The Emperor lures Anakin Skywalker to his place and how unsuccessfully he tries to repeat this act with Luke Skywalker.

In the case of Anakin, the entire Jedi order is on the side of the dark side: it was the Jedi who, in their arrogance, finally shattered the moral foundations of a very dangerous young man. In the case of Luke, on the contrary, on the side of the Light side - even as if Darth Vader himself. After all, it was Darth Vader who clearly explained to Luke what an unsightly future awaits him: loneliness, universal hatred and selfless service to the nasty evil old man who, as if on purpose, gets into an important conversation between father and son, shouting: “Oh yes! I can feel the hate flowing through your veins, my disciple! " - although in fact, the Emperor in Luke does not cause anything but irritation in this scene. Palpatine is not just not listened to - he is a hindrance, a buzzing fly.

The success could not be repeated. Why?

It is speculated that because Anakin was vulnerable because of Padmé Amidala. Luke didn't have such a passionate affection.

But love, even passionate, cannot in itself be the cause of the fall. Many additional factors are required.

Everything was pushing Anakin to fall.

And everything kept Luke from falling.

The Jedi paid a terrible price for understanding, but those who remained were able to correct the mistake.

Anakin was unlucky in that sense. Nothing - neither the state nor the knightly order - can exist for a long time in a state of stagnation. At some point, there is an explosion, a revolution. In this case, Anakin - Darth Vader served as a weapon of revolution: he begins the systematic extermination of the Jedi.

Obi Wan and Yoda survived, as we know. In the final battle between his former mentor and former apprentice, Obi Wan managed to cripple Anakin and throw him into the boiling lava. Not bad for a mentor who has failed his mentorship.

"Obi Wan killed your father" - remember? Oh yes, Obi Wan, Master Yoda and all the wise Jedi Council - they all somehow killed "the good man Anakin Skywalker." All of them, with lies, manipulation, arrogance, intrigue, mistrust, insults, inattention, a formal approach to a very gifted and very young person - they all pushed him to the Dark Side.

And when this, quite naturally, happened - they tried to destroy it physically.

However, Darth Vader did not die: burned and barely alive, he was saved by Darth Sidious. Now Darth Vader has to live in a special spacesuit, equipped with a special life support system, and breathe through a mask: inhale - exhale.

Well well. It's time to remember the "prophecy": that the young Skywalker is destined to "restore the balance of the Force." In fact, such prophecies are very insidious: those who know them do their best to ensure that something sinister does not come true - and usually achieve the exact opposite result.

The prophecy said that the chosen youth would restore the balance of the Force ... by destroying the Sith. It is somehow illogical: what kind of "balance" can there be when the Dark Ones are destroyed? This is not a "balance" of the Force, but simply the triumph of Light. If you think about what happened, the Council itself brought Anakin to the point that he ... really restored the balance: on each side there were two left (Obi Wan and Yoda - Light Ones, Darth Sidious and Darth Vader - Dark Ones). What they wanted to get - they got it. “Maybe we misinterpreted the prophecy,” the wise Master Yoda dropped meaningfully on this matter ...”

I apologize for the crooked translation, mainly the translator helped, but the essence seems to be conveyed. After reading it, I stopped believing even more in the "Light Jedi", and indeed in everything that is openly declared as "bringing good and light." In Star Wars, only Luke, little Anakin and Padmé were true goodness and light. And when someone starts talking about what the Jedi Council is the wisest and the kindest, and Obi-Wan is the very embodiment of kindness and fluffiness, then think about what they will do to you if you are not pleasing to them. They will not even lift a finger to somehow save or sort out your problem, and will you be immured in disgusting armor, equipped with prostheses, while morally and physically crippled. Them easy to say that you yourself chose to be bad, instead of trying with your wisdom and experience to understand what drives you. Wisdom should cover all aspects, and not be one-sided and divide the world into black and white. "Only the Sith make everything to the absolute" remember? Oh god! How many times have Jedi done the same thing? Or does it not count? In short, pleasant reading and may the force be with you, my fair ones.

https://biography.wikireading.ru/1240

#star wars #good words

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