#you could also do the same with pastoral power

[silverskye13]

Are saints allowed to serve their paladins, or is it mostly a one-way street? Are saints allowed to exist and act when unasked for?

Hmm. This turned a little rambling I apologise. Also I end up saying the word "domain" a lot, so in lieu of finding a good place to explain what I mean by domain, I'll just say it before the cut.

A Saint's "domain" is the thing about the universe they've learned to manipulate, using the faith of the people that believe in them. For large gods who maybe always started as concepts [Order of Remembrance for example], the domain is a broad concept like memory. If memory is involved, it will pull apart the universe to affect it. However, if it wanted to do some kind of miracle [calling a paladin to capture someone maybe, or healing a terrible wound], if doing so would have no effect on its domain, it could not affect change. Smaller saints might have more niche concepts attached to them. [Ie, I have a headcanon VintageBeef's hels is a Saint of Slaughter/Butchery, and is best followed by people who do hoglin hunts in hels. His following is small, and he channels his power for only This Specific Thing, and can affect nothing else.]

I think it depends a bit on the deity in question, and how much deification they get, whether their power is a physical two-way link. Something they use with the same proficiency they put into others.

Small Saints who have basically no followers, and have little to no idea what they stand for, or why, are basically Just Guys. They are Guys powered by someone else's faith, who have interesting powers that manifest on occasion, and they have a habit of collecting very dedicated friend groups. But they are still, at the end of the day, Just Guys. They can act when unasked for, they can help their priests and paladins literally, physically, or do the miracle they want to do themselves, because at that point, everything about them is small and personal, and human. If your neighborhood pastor could work a miracle under a set of memorized rules, and sometimes shook your hand and let you do it too, they would be a Small Saint.

[That's not to say a Small Saint isn't still powerful. They are people who can mess with the weave of the world. Anyone not prepared for that is going to get the shock of their life. Anyone who isn't a Saint who is channeling that, is going to suffer consequences. It's just that, a Small Saint could maybe channel through one person at a time, and they might not even know how they did it. *Coughing noises, glances at plot*]

Medium? Saints? Saints that have a following, that have too many people to have an individual relationship with, get a little more unfathomable and constrained. At some point, messing with the universe has repercussions for everyone. If the Hermits had a whole city of followers, they would default to this. The world looks different to them. They can see the edges, where infinity and coding lies. In hels, a Saint who reaches that point stops seeing people as people, and they themselves stop looking and feeling like people. They can affect several people at once. They can justify things like punishment, and creating a moral code for people to follow. Being able to balance between the universe and hels is more important. They could still intervene on someone's behalf, but it's no longer a personal decision, and now something measured in loyalty, faith, prayer. You are one person, and your Saint is changing the world for a dozen of you, but power has limits.

[I imagine Evil X is somewhere around here. He has creative mode. He knows he can break the world to his will. But he also still has a physical body, and can just walk across the room and move something. He's still a person, he's just a person who's taken on the Uncanny, and knows there are no true repercussions to his actions. He's not a kind Saint, if he can rightly be called one. I imagine he was very destructive when he discovered his power, and had to mellow out over time. His domain has to do with chaos, and breaking things for the sake of breaking them. He had to learn it's a power he can use, not a power he has to use.]

Big Saints [and gods], get eldritch. They don't really exist as people anymore. Maybe they went on pilgrimage one day and never returned, but an echo of them has manifested as something people can tap into now. Maybe they stayed a person as long as possible, but at some point so much faith elevated them into something Different, a change a simpler more human them would have feared, but they no longer remember that simpler person anymore. Instead they are the impulses and principles they ruled themselves and others by, and their only memories have narrowed into parables and legends that only show hints of the person they used to be. They can give their power to a select few people willingly, but they no longer go out of their way to intercede in their daily life. They have gifted a piece of themselves to someone, because that person can be trusted to use it well, but they won't mourn that person if they leave. One person is small in the eye of the universal.

To me, Helsknight's Saint of Blood and Steel is a large, old Saint, with a congregation that deals best with the impersonal. They are people looking to be swords in the hands of the divine, so their Saint treats them as such. If the Saint had no congregation, as a deity always looking for a sword, they would act on their own until they found someone willing, but they would always be looking for a sword.

I also feel like some of how personal and two-way the connection is, is dependent on the nature of the domain.

Tanguish, if he ever becomes a true Saint with a following, doesn't know what his domain is. All he knows is, Helsknight promised to protect him, and so when he needed help, he Called, and Helsknight Answered. It was terrifying. He pulled a thread of the universe and used it to change what should have happened. If Helsknight were suffering, as someone who is human, who can't even see the threads they're pulling, Tanguish would do everything he could to help, and if he stumbled into his domain along the way, he would use it for that purpose. The power he has, whatever it is, can be genuinely harmful when used, because helsmets were not made to feel the full force of the universe -- something that already seeks to devour them on principle. He is someone who just found out that sometimes, seemingly randomly, he touches a person and they're struck by lightning. Whether they willingly touched him, and whether he would willingly take the lightning strike in their place, isn't exactly the current issue.

The God of Memory, whatever gives the Blue Lady her paladin powers, probably feels small and personal despite coming from a large idea and probably never being human. Its domain is Remembrance, and that implies something that tries to be personal despite how Eldritch it is. When its power is channeled, it always harms the channeler grandly and dramatically [the Blue Lady saying a small prophesy and being blinded by ink is a very light repercussion. It doesn't know what humanity is. It doesn't know what a body is. Or eating or drinking, or that someone who needs crutches to walk can't just drop them and not hurt muscle and bone. It just knows its will is needed so it acts. It is learning. It doesn't want to lose its followers, because it wants to form long, lasting memories of them. But it will break a lot of people before it learns limits.]

Meanwhile, the Saint of Blood and Steel definitely started as a person. They have an origin point [the plot will get there someday], they even have a Known Ascension. But they are a Saint to things like Vengeance and Justice, distant concepts that are best when they're not personal, a swinging sword that Exacts A Price. Channeling them will damage because the nature of the power is damaging, but they temper that by only calling people for a cause worthy of dying for. If there is a chance jumping off a cliff will break your legs, they will first guarantee there's a reason to get to the bottom. The Saint of Blood and Steel knows who they are, and knows that every knight or paladin or priest to pass through their halls is, almost certainly, doomed. They might have tried to save a few, long ago when they were something closer to human, but now they know a universal truth: whether they succeed or fail in saving anyone, whoever served them will have done it willingly, and there will always be someone along to replace them. When a sword is broken, you do not mourn the sword. You pick up another. Though you may grow melancholy for something cared for, now lost.

No matter how large, or loved, or powerful a Saint is, the Universe will always be more so. It has to be. If every helsmet had to become a Saint to hold a fraction of the potential a Hermit has, and every Hermit has faith in the universe, in the fact that it exists, that it speaks to them when they fight the monsters in the world, that it loves them, the Universe will always be bigger than even the largest hels-born Saint could fathom.

[artist-issues]

Your words and your posts have been incredibly disheartening for me to see. My mother left the church. She is not an apostate, but she did question the church’s teachings in secret. She completely left faith when I was born. I have congenital heart defects, which I was born with. I nearly died on the operating table. For this reason, my mother and I do not believe in God, who is said to be all-powerful and all-benevolent. My mother is a wonderful person. She risked her life in the Covid-19 pandemic as she works at a hospital. If anyone deserved to live in an eternal paradise, it would be her. Your LGBTQ+ views have also upset me. My oldest friend, who I have known since before I could even remember, is transgender and gay, and have been more supportive to me as a disabled person than any Christian has been. I’m only 18 years old, yet I know that you chose faith over experiences with the wonderful parts of humanity. Respectfully, please reconsider your views on gay and trans people.

I truly appreciate how thoughtfully and respectfully you typed out this message. It is clear that these matters mean a lot to you and I'm going to go ahead and assume that you aren't speaking out of any kind of hate.

I would just offer you a counter-perspective, and maybe by understanding where I'm coming from, you can see that I'm not speaking out of any kind of hate for people, either. I'm half blind. I was born that way. My twin sister and I were taken by emergency cesareans-section when we were incredibly, dangerously premature. My twin was given no chance of survival; the cesarean was just meant to give me a 50% chance of survival. At the time, my mother was recently married to a 19 year-old drug dealer after her own father abused and abandoned her and her mother. She'd been living apart from the faith for years, rejecting God to follow the occult or whatever political party had hear heart at the time. My father hated God.

But when my sister and I were fighting for life for weeks on end, and nobody was sure if we would live or die, and they had to bring us home with heart monitors because our hearts would literally stop beating several times a night, my mom realized how helpless she was to do anything to save us. And she prayed. And we lived. Both of us. Not only that, but my father, at 19 years old, addicted to drugs since the age of 13, narrowly escaped death and gave his life to Christ. After a whole life of having no social skills unless he was high, doing whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted, and caring about nothing but himself, now he is a Pastor (bi-vocationally; he is also a tradesman working with his hands) and has given me and all my family, and many other families, everything we have in our lives through his dedicated and faithful life. He and my mother have been happily married and serving God with their whole lives for almost thirty years now.

And not only them, but me, my twin sister, my younger sister, my little brother, my grandfather (who was an actual killer and drug addict as well) we all know God. We all have a relationship with Him. And that's the biggest most wonderful gift He gave us, out of all those wonderful things He did for us. Saving my life, my dad's life, my twin's life, changing who they were and making them new people.

I'm not telling you all that to like, compare disabilities or traumas or whatever. That would be ridiculous for lots of reasons. But I'm just trying to be honest.

It's not a religion or a system of beliefs that I've subscribed to. It's not a social flag I live under. It's not something I do just because my parents or the people in my immediate community have shown me. It's because He's real, and He showed Himself to me—when it's just me and Him, and nobody else's opinion or say-so matters— and it's all really true—everything the Bible says. And He's so much better, and so much more benevolent, than anyone on earth can describe to you.

And, at the same time, when you understand who He is, and who we are...the question isn't "how could a good God let anyone go to Hell instead of paradise?" The question is, "how could He let any of us live after what we did?" It's hard. But seriously, just play pretend with me for a bit, if only to "understand my perspective." Pretend there was a God, all-powerful, endlessly loving, in fact, Love Itself. The love that was His very nature spilled out so much that He created—created beautiful, amazing, complex creatures who were intrinsically full of worth and light, and made to reflect Him, that Love, back to Him, and share in it. A big happy family.

And then those creatures from the dirt committed cosmic treason and said "screw You, I don't care if You created me and I don't care if You love me or want to be in relationship with me: I want to be You. I want to call the shots." And those creatures from the dirt basically did the cosmic version of climbing in their father's lap to spit in His face, and go stab each other over fleeting pleasures in the gutter because the mansions He was offering them wasn't as good as pretending they could be gods of their own lives.

That's the story. Thats what happened. Read Genesis, if you have the time and if you're of the heart to. And because of what we chose, we got twisted up. I'm sure you read that, in my posts. So even the thing we were made for—love—got mangled up inside us and we can't express it the right way anymore.

He would've been justified in wiping us out. Starting over with new creatures. We were His creation. He gets to decide what we are and what to do with us: we betrayed and insulted and defied our rightful King. But He's not like that. He had no reason to--no obligation to--but He chose to do the work and make a way for us to be back in relationship with Him. And He chose to do it by subjecting Himself to unimaginable torture and darkness, which would have been ours by right if He hadn't taken it for us.

I know that you love your mom. It is plain to see. And I understand the feeling. But if you really get to know the God of the actual Bible, instead of just the memes and the flawed people who try to explain Him—if you really get to know Him, between you and Him, you'll see that He actually loves your mom more than you do. And He loves you more than you, or anyone, does. Because He knows you both better and more intimately than you even know Yourselves. He made you. It'd be like an author getting to dive down into the story and tell their characters everything about themselves.

That's the kind of love we were made for. The kind of love that is there even though you don't deserve it, even though you're not entitled to it—the kind of love that would die for you while you're still hating Him.

I mean just stop and think about it, clear your brain of everything everyone has ever told you about LGBTQ+ and all that. And just think: can you love someone wholeheartedly and still know they're in the wrong? Even when they wholeheartedly believe they're right? Even when they're hurt by you believing they're in the wrong? Of course you can. Anyone who's had a loved one with a self-destructive habit, like alcohol addiction or an abusive lover or just a toxic personality trait or two, can relate to that common sense. They can say, "of course I love you. That's why I'm telling you to stop doing this, it's hurting you, it's not good for you, I know it doesn't feel that way, but it's the truth."

So if you believe that there are some circumstances where that applies, what makes it so unloving for this hypothetical God, who knows the best thing for your friend and knows your friend better than you do, to say so about being LGBTQ+? Why should LGBTQ+ be any different?

Well, the answer, of course, is that you don't believe it is true that it's wrong. Because, if we rewind, you don't believe in God. But you just told me that you came to that conclusion kind of...after feeling hurt by Him. You almost died, first , then your mom chose to leave Him behind and go ahead and live as if He doesn't exist. And you did, too.

But let's go back to playing pretend. If God exists, then He didn't act how you think He should've, as an "benevolent" God: He didn't do YOUR version of "good." So you abandoned Him. (We're pretending like He exists, from your perspective.) He didn't do your version of good, you feel mistreated, so you walked away from Him.

But He would never do that to you. If He's the kind of person the Bible says He is, He doesn't treat you that way. When you (humanity) didn't do His version (which is the only real version, since He invented it) of good, He didn't abandon you. He totally could have. But instead He made a way for your relationship to get fixed. But you have free will. So He's not going to force you to love Him and accept the gift. If you want to continue for all eternity without being with Him, you can. He gives you that option.

But then don't wonder why people who choose that option don't get "eternal paradise." Because according to the Bible, that's all heaven is: getting to be in relationship with God forever. Fully who He made you to be. If you don't want that, He won't force it: in fact, He couldn't. It wouldn't be just, and He is always just.

The truth is, after what we did to Him, none of us deserve anything from Him. I didn't deserve to survive in that ICU. Neither did my sister. Neither did my father or mother or grandfather. None of us should be allowed to inhale another breath; we're the King's people who betrayed Him and tried to steal His throne. But He is so good that instead He turns around and adopts us.

I know this is rambly. But you messaged me so genuinely, I just sort of wrote this as if I were sitting down and talking it all out, one word in front of the other, with you. I don't know you. I know these are very hot button topics, and very personal issues; but like you, I think they're of the utmost importance.

So I will keep considering the LGBTQ+ and transgender issues—but you have to understand that I'm in service to the King, so to speak. I love Him, He loves me, and He's my God. When I consider any part of reality, it's impossible to do so without Him as the center and standard of truth. Without Him, who gets to decide what's right or wrong? Just me. And on my own, I am inconsistent, selfish, ruinous. But I'm not on my own. And in the meantime, I'll ask you to consider God, the real God, of the Bible. Not what a church of whatever denomination tells you—not to start with. Not what I tell you, or anyone tells you. Just what He said about Himself, straight from the Bible. Let Him speak for Himself. Thanks for reaching out.

[notsofunsenpai]

Wedding Bells 🔔 💕 💖

@pride-month-challenge

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You smiled to yourself on the bed,looking at your hand that was in the air,admiring the golden band wrapped around your finger as your husband slept next to you. You had the TV playing,it was some cartoon playing. Why were you up at like four in the morning it was because you couldn't sleep and ended up feeling all giddy inside when you suddenly looked at your wedding ring.

You remember how you wore a white long dress with flowers around the cuffs of the sleeves as Kenji wears a tuxedo along with having well kept here for once as it was slick back with some jel. You walked down the isle mortified you might tripped on your dress but act confident as can be,trying not toncry as you see your love ones crying along with Kenji's. You stand across from Kenji,immediately blushing at the looked he gave you,something you'd never forget. His soft blue eyes staring at you with lots of love and hope while with the happiest smile plastered on his face,you could also tell he was crying alittle because his eyes were alittle red but nothing to noticeable( You can't wait to tease him later for it♡). The priest says some words then the two of you said your vows with Kenji going first as he first clears his throat.

His voice cracked alittle making you and everyone laugh as his cheeks heat up in embarrassment,"As your husband.I am yours now; I give you my heart today and forever.I cannot promise to find a solution to ALL your problems, but I can promise that I’ll be there to face them with you." He doesn't break eye contact with you as he says it with the most sincerely in his voice. You hold back your tears to not cry,never thought you'd get married ever when you were younger but here you are now as you take a deep breath to say your vows.

"When you walked into my life, love walked in. It was a magical moment that I will treasure forever with you. I will walk together with you always. " Your voice sounded shaky alittle as you tried not to let it show but Kenji knew,he knew if you started crying he would too,he was and always will be soft towards you no matter what.

The priest smiled before speaking,"do you Y/N take Kenji to be your lawfully wedded husband/partner? Will you honor and cherish him; love, trust, and commit to him, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw at you both, until death do you part?" He asked.

"I do." You smiled taking the ring from your ring barrier and putting it onto Kenji's finger.

"Kenji,do you take Y/N to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife/partner? Will you honor and cherish him/her/them; love, trust, and commit to him/her/them, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw at you both, until death do you part?

"I sure do." He proudly said taking the other ring,putting it onto your finger as he looked deeply and loveingly into your eyes.

"Kenji and Y/N, having proclaimed your love and commitment to one another in the eyes of these loved ones, and with the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church, I am so happy to pronounce you husband and husband/wife/partner! You may now kiss." The pastor says.

The two of your leaned in for a kiss,it was short but filled with love as everyone cheered. You two shared few more kisses before walking down the isle together as you rested your head onto his shoulder as he hold you close. Truth be told you guys didn't know how long you could hold it back but once you both got in your ride that was taking you back to the hotel or whenever you were staying at,the both if you broke down in tears with smiles on both of your faces.

"I..I'm so happy,sorry." He sniffs,crying into your shoulder while your arms gently wrapped around him as you shared the same feeling.

"No need to feel sorry,never say sorry for things like that." You cried joyously,sharing another kiss with him,feeling his lips tremble against yours as he cries some more.

You felt a hand grabbing yours,seeing the same ring you wore held your hand tightly as you snapped out of thought,you turn your head to see a sleepy kenji looking at you with a small frown on his face.

"Why are you still awake..?" He barely was audible.

You kissed his face gently as he whines softly at you for the surprised attack,"Couldn't sleep I guess.thoughts were keeping me awake love." You whispered to him.

"What's.. on mind?"He asked.

"You." You answered him honestly,watching as it took him a minute or two to process what you had said before feeling his face slightly heat up with a lazy grin on his face.

He slowly gets ontop of you attacking your lips with multiple kisses,giggling like a school girl. "Aw,I tend to have that affect on everyone. " He jokes in between kisses.

You rolled your eyes,"I take back what I said,get off of me you loser." You said kissing him back.

He laughs softly,"I have you know yo ass married this loser so you're the loser here for marrying a loser."He wrapped his arms around you,kissing your neck gently.

"I hate you,get off of me husband of mine." You huffed.

"I loovvve you tooo husband/wife/partner of mine." He grins slightly mocking you which made your eye twitch slightly.

"You're annoying."

"I know~" He laughs.

[im-fucking-baalin]

Tell me . More about your cult of the lamb au :3

I'm specifically curious about the idea that lamb could have been a priest of a religion based around a warped version of Narinder (you could say... a cult)

How did they warp his image? Does he know about it? How long has the religion been around- does it dissappear when the lamb is sacrificed? Grrrr I am so curious!!!

RAHHHH ITS 5AM THE PERFECT TIME TO ANSWER THIS OF COURSE !!!

ok first of all, english is not my first language so if theres something you didnt quite understand lmk pls 🤝

sooo,,, an incredibly long explanation is incoming!

im gonna be honest, this all originated from A Single™️ line that Shamura said in-game. This One:

"The lamb is, after all, the sacrificial beast. Bred to slaughter"

Since the first time i read it, it kept lingering in my mind because, wdym.

In my own madness, that lines existence means that, even before the lamb genocide happened, the bishops considered lambs as some kind of free soul resource they could use for sacrifice with no repercussions. And thanks to that, ive been constantly in a state of Making Things Up In My Mind Until Shit Starts To Make Sense.

And heres where, basically everything comes into play. The lambs were Narinders cult, to some extent. They were assigned to him, courtesy of his siblings, to be literally the pastor of them, yknow, protecting them and guiding them until the time to be sacrificed came. However, those sacrifices were never for him. Those were for the rest of the bishops.

Let me explain! One thing i LOVE with what the community has done in COTLs lore understanding is the way we see the crowns powers. like HELL YEAH they are NOT a single concept they EMBRACE the whole spectrum of said concept! Including everything that may be considered "good" and "bad"!!!

AND NOW, the important thing with this,,,,

In-game, after indoctrinating the bishops into your cult, and completing each individual quest for them, they kind of tell you where they got their crowns? the version of the game ive been playing is the spanish one, and honestly i hadnt read those same dialogues in english to see if they actually translated them faithfully, but oh well!

Thats what i got from it; with the four telling you how they were basically normal creatures before finding the crowns. mind you, finding

We are talking about a culture in wich gods were kind of the basic population, maybe in the timespan before that weird "war" happened; youd think they would be more careful with those things no? Exactly!

The bishops werent properly crowned!!! :000

THIS MEANS, in my mind, that they had absolute zero knowledge of what those crowns fully embrace!!

This, also, is where i have a loose knot, for i still hadnt come to a reasonable explanation on how Narinder got his, for he seems to be the only one who wasnt a crawling creature before the crown, possibly meaning he WAS properly crowned. ill work more on this in the future :P

SO, before i start expanding waaaay more, this is where i wanted to get to, but itll be on giant general terms that i promise ill explain with more detail in the future:

the bishops didn't believe in death having some kind of spectrum to it, one that they used on their own personal gain, receiving offerings and such in exchange of "good things". As a result, they kind of excluded him, in a not so catastrophic way like you might think, but rather in a "your domain is of no use to us" kind of way.

This was a result of Shamuras doing, for they were the only bishop who got to understand what a crown entails, knowledge being in their domain after all

(as a little side note, i FUCKING LOVE what this implies. Yknow? that the contrary of war is not peace but rather knowledge, because the more informed you are the more able to see what kind of shit youre doing, yet also functioning as the greatest weapon to use in the field IS PEAK TO ME)

What Shamura was trying to do was protect him. They were very afraid of him, and in trying to make that fear go away, they decided to kind of "keep" the truth away. This resulted in him never exploiting his full domain, wich then led to ppl believing that praying to death was basically useless, unless you did it to get consolation, wich meant there were no offerings or sacrifices in his name.

Now, as the pastor of the lambs Narinder hated the way the other bishops treated them. The lambs were kept in some kind of village, from where they, whenever they wanted, could choose any lamb and make Narinder sacrifice them in their name. Even kids!

Well, after this half-assed explanation bc i didnt want to make it way longer, here comes the actual answer to your question! (sorry!)

the religion started the moment the lambs managed to escape the place they were kept in. the situation that led to this, was the same one that sparked the conflict between siblings: a resurrection.

even if Narinder was their patron god, the lambs never had contact with him until the time to sacrifice came. here youre gonna meet ellen! shes a missing link i had to write into the story for it to make more sense. she is, also, the culprit for that religion to exist!

Basically, that day they had sacrificed her lover. they were planning to escape that night, but sadly they had no chance on knowing who was to be chosed for slaughter next. instead of praying to their god, she insulted him, with such a burning passion, Narinder knew this was his opportunity.

he made a deal with her. he would revive her lover, and in exchange she would leave and never tell anyone what happened. the only gain Narinder was going to have with this was the knowledge that he could actually revive ppl, so it was a total win-win.

ellen, however, saw this as death being the kindest god to ever exist, and she felt incredibly lucky, for she was the first and only to ever be offered this.

we all know how this went, though. the ritual was interrupted by the bishops, they started arguing, Narinder did what he did etc etc

she escaped, alongside her whole village, and decided to mask her selfish act with sermons about how Narinder sacrificed himself so they could live better lives, and how he had choose her to be the carrier of his word. it was all made up ofc.

so, for a millenia, the lambs were worshipping an incredibly distorted version of Narinder. They didnt even get his name, nor his title. They only knew him as death. This also meant Narinder never got to know about this. As far as his knowledge go, the lambs may all had been sacrificed without any regulation in the next coming days after his imprisonment. None on his name, tho

fast forward and we get to Lambert! theyre the last priest to this religion, both figuratively and literally

the way priests and priestesses (?) work in here is something that in on itself deserve its own post, but on general terms:

in catholicism the priest is a person who got religious preparation to serve god and spread His word. they are meant to be chaste, kind, and just. they are also meant to be "served", to some extent.

in here, priests are more like the leaders of the lamb population, replacing Narinders role back in the day. they were all following a rule that only female direct descendants from ellen could get that title which OF COURSE MEANS IT WAS A TRANS DOMINATED FIELD LETS FUCKING GO (projecting much? LMAOOO)

so, yeah! they guide and serve! so imagine Lamberts pain after the bishops kill not only their family, but their Whole Fucking Species in front of their eyes!!! lads flabbergasted!!!!

and thats it! thats how they got a distorted version of Narinder for worship. No, he had no idea that both the lambs were still alive and that they had been worshipping him in a completely different way than intended. and yes! the religion did disappear once lambert got sacrificed! but to explain what actually happened there i need to make another pointlessly big paragraph and honestly i think i already abused my yapping rights for today!

i promise, all these concepts WILL be treated at their own pace, but it may take time for me to develop them nicely!

if you, however, fancy keep asking questions for me to go apeshit at them, PLEASE PLASE PLEASE DO SO!!!!!!

MAN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK YOU MADE MY WHOLE WEEK!!!! you asked about the EXACT point ive been DYING to expand more on THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

[audrak79]

Broken, but not beyond repair...

I never imagined that at 45, having been married 24 years, and having spent 29 years in that same relationship, that I would be working through a divorce.  I have worked in the legal field helping others through their divorces for 27 years. The story of how I got here is not for all to know and certainly not something to share like this. It’s a story that affects many and, while their story is part of mine, that does not mean I have a right to air it all out.

A big part of my story began when I was 16. I had no clue who I was, where I was going, what I wanted to be, I was just a baby and knew one thing... I wanted out of where I was and I knew there had to be something better. What happened from here many would call a fairy tale. Much of it seemed that way. But as with any relationship, it had its problems, ups and downs. I’ve learned a lot in my life, most of it the hard way.  As with any relationship, we both could have and should have done better, worked harder for it. Life gets exhausting and people change. And while we can't change people or stop them from changing, we CAN control what we tolerate and how we respond to what’s in front of us.    

The last 3 years have been the toughest 3 years of my life.  It’s been trying on our family.  That’s a story and testimony for another blog... when the time is right.  Trauma affects our whole story and the stories of those closest to us and sometimes it even branches out further than that.  As Pastor Mike Todd has said, “what you don’t transform, you transfer.” Before you start a relationship, you should know your own identity or you will take on that of others and try to make them your own. Process your own trauma. You can't expect a good relationship if you don’t feel you can share your trauma because you've never faced it head on and you try to pretend it never happened. Get comfortable with yourself so that you can be vulnerable without fear of shame or embarrassment. It's hard to help someone through their trauma if you've never addressed your own. Faking it only causes bitterness, anger, anxiety, depression, stonewalling etc. and just as you can't control someone or change others, you can’t control their healing either, and you certainly won't help them when you ignore your own hurt. One thing I wish for every human, and I am still working on, is that we could all master the art of good communication. Listening more, talking less. Communicating expectations so assumptions don't leave one hurt unnecessarily. Sometimes a person just needs to know they are heard.

I've made poor choices, I'll continue to make poor choices. But I'm going to strive each day to make better choices. I'm going to try starting fresh and this time around, NOT do things out of order. I'm going to stay firm and grounded in Christ, so much that it spews out in everything I do and I will not be ashamed or embarrassed of what that looks like. I will love so hard that it makes others wonder where it comes from and plants a seed to be watered that has them seeking the Lord because they need that kind of joy in their life. I will forgive more as I also need forgiven and holding onto that seed of offense only allows a root of bitterness to grow. Life is painful. Words hurt. Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and it takes a lifetime of practice. Out of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45), which is why we need to check our hearts before we speak. 

Regret.... without the poor decisions I've made, I may never have come to know who I am, I wouldn't have some of the greatest things and experiences that I have had. While I have regret for any harm I may have done to others, and I am sad and even disappointed in myself for the way I have handled some things, I am not sure I would wish for things to have been different. In a perfect world, sure, but we live in a broken world and I'm going to pray that God will continue to make beauty from my ashes, even from the dumpster fires that I caused or fanned into flame. What I CAN do is, instead of focusing on what I did wrong or could have done better... repent, turn, start new, fresh, and try harder to simply be a better reflection of Christ today than I was yesterday. I know I will never regret following Him.

So, excuse me while I heal. It looks different for everyone and while this seems like a new life event as social media and public appearances paint a pretty picture, it may not be as fresh as the picture was painted. I'll likely not be on social media for a while other than to share an occasional Word from God with a picture of my coffee. I trust that those closest to me will reach out personally and directly. My profiles have my contact info in them. God is good, even when we aren't. Trust the process. Be willing to be refined in the fire. I promise, eternity with Christ is worth it. I was reading a few months ago in Isaiah and shared the following on social media:

“Studying this morning and as I hit Isaiah 38 and 39, I praised God for His reminder of the importance of humility, the dangers of pride, and that our actions have consequences. But most importantly, that EVEN when I suffer consequences, EVEN when things seem to go badly, EVEN in the midst of suffering... I will praise my God and thank Him for His love, correction, and grace. For His ways are higher than mine. Who am I to criticize His divine direction.”

I know who I am now. I am the daughter of the King Most High, a co-heir with Christ. I am chosen, forgiven, treasured, sought, beautiful, strong, flawless, never forsaken. I am His.

8/20/24

[bcofl0ve]

okay okay gather round sorry this is coming later than i said it would, law school brain. but. at long last, bottoms review time with mollie except this time with lots and lots of spoilers.

i think we covered my general “good movie very funny” thoughts in the spoiler free review, which you can read here so this is gonna be more me info dumping about my thoughts on the plot. and the core of those is that….

PJ IS A LITTLE BITCH!!! i wanted to like her in a “i support women's wrongs” way truly i did but she’s just. an asshole! not all annoying female characters are redeemable, and she is one! that’s not to say her character *existing* annoyed me, i think her being the anti-thesis to josie is an important facet of the movie and the whole “lie falling apart” plot line needed a bad guy so. she was a necessary evil.

that said though gahhhh. i wanted to wring her little neck and ik a satirical movie is not meant to be a realistic example of friendship. i do..but i still think josie was wayyy too forgiving. josie deserves better friends!!! and i fear in a world where these characters are real/the story continues pj needs to idk go to therapy or she’s gonna make josie miserable for being happy with isabel while she’s not in a relationship. (and that is to say she should not be with hazel either! she needs therapy not a girlfriend!)

buttttt but but all that to say i do think rachel did a great job playing her. playing unlikeable characters in a way that makes them unlikeable without a viewer wishing they weren't in the movie at all is a skill set! her being funny and me wanting to punt her across the room are very much thoughts that co-exisit!

moving semi away from pj…the reveal of brittany being straight threw me for such a loop that the next like- 5 minutes of the movie went right over my headkjfkj not to be an insane person but i was gen a little disappointed!! let kaia play a gay character in something that isn’t ahs!! i will wait!!! that said though she actually pulls off the whole “straight girl that isn’t gay just likes gay porn” stereotype very well and made me laugh. i still loved brittany to bits and pieces…heterosexual and all.

josie and isabel. josie and isabel. wahhhhh. wahhhh. my darling girls. when josie almost told her they were lying about juvie but went back on it my heart broke a little bc you could tell she felt guilty and i just ,</3..and yeah she did choose to keep up with the lie when she realized she was getting what she wanted (isabel) but i think the film did a good job of showing how her keeping up with it was different from pj keeping up with it. pj kept up with the lie bc she was on a power trip. josie kept up with it because she didn’t want to lose isabel/lose finally having a geuine connection with a girl/and felt like she had in a way gotten her away from jeff so as long as they kept the lie up she could keep looking out for her.

which is still well, manipulative. lying is bad! but idk i had much more sympathy for her than i did pj. and think when it all came out that josie was actually sorry, whereas pj was only sorry they got caught/still bitter britt was straight. 

those are my main thoughts on it all, but some side bars: lovedd hazel. ruby is great and i am not really a fantasy show person, just not my genre but now i kinda wanna check out willow just to see more of her. the plot twist with jeff actually fucking her mom was soooo early 2000s teen movie and i ate it up. as was the fact that outside of that no one seemed to have parents at all LOL your kids are coming home with black eyes and you don’t have some questions?!?! miles fowler was also really great and tbh i liked him as much as i did kaia in it. esp his flip phone. especially his flip phone. josie's monolouge about marrying a pastor and lavender marriages is what made me start choking on my shake. right up my humor ally as someone who grew up evangelical, and i imagine ayo found it funny for the same reason! was expecting the big josie/isabel hookup scene to be more vulgar less *fade to black* but this is a movie about high schoolers so actually that's a good thing i think?? i accidentally read a spoiler explaining the final killing spree scene months ago and really wish i didn’t bc it would’ve been fun to experience that going in blind.

another side bar to close this out. i *loved* this movie. 5 stars in my book i can’t wait to rewatch it over and over when it’s on prime. but i…kinda disagree with all the tweets saying it’s the next mean girls/heathers/etc cult classic. not because i don’t think it’s good! but because i think comedy film criticism is turning into everything having to be iconic or a future cult classic to be praised? a funny movie can just be a funny movie! it doesn’t have to be the next heathers for you to like it and praise it! does that make sense?

if you read this all the way through congrats! go gay people! go losers!

hello! If you’re reading this because you’re scrolling through the bottoms tag my name is mollie (-: this is primarily a gossip blog for austin butler and his girlfriend kaia gerber (brittany!), both folks i’m big fans of- with a side of elvis presley/presley family fan posting. but i’ve been ‘covering’ bottoms quite a bit so do feel free to come hang out and send anons if you wanna chat! <3 and i’m going to start posting anons containing spoilers on sunday night- so if i don’t answer something right away that’s why.

[phantomoftheorpheum]

In my opinion, there were plot holes in the season that are really off-putting. But I also think the writers were just really unwise about their narrative time. With 2 episodes less than the first season, they did not balance their characters and storylines well.

I’m flabbergasted about the amount of time that was spent on the love triangle (I refuse to waste anymore brain power complaining about.. all of that). We could have had less of that in favor of:

- Giving Mouse a real storyline > making Ash more prominent, giving her grandmother an actual purpose or just cutting the character all together.

- Showing us the character development that they only tell us Greg has gone through.

- Follow through with Imogen’s mental health, hallucinations scares, and concerns for her child’s safety that were only relevant in the first half of the season.

- Make redemption house even more sinister and/or show characters like Kelly, Henry, or Greg noticing everyone around them becoming obsessed with Spooky Spaghetti. It would’ve been so easy to permanently write out Henry by making him one of Wes’/BR’s followers but of course they didn’t do that.

- Show at least a little bit of conflict between Mrs Langsberry and Tabby’s mom - opposing mothers defending the reputation of their children. Although I will say, this might have made it too obvious.

- Maybe even including more conflict by not waiting until the last episode to finally accuse each others partners.

Just some thoughts :P

I agree! I think the biggest issue with this season was the reduced runtime (I don't know if that was at all due to the writer's strike, but I hope they get an absolute minimum of 10 episodes if they do a third season), and the mismanagement of the time that they did have.

To address some of your points specifically- I also felt Mouse was super sidelined this season (yes, she is technically the person most intent on solving the mystery, but she's basically just around to info-dump at everyone else, not have any personal growth), and Ash was barely present. I was particularly disappointed by this, because I knew the actor's billing had been upgraded, so I thought we'd get noticeably more Ash.

Greg's redemption arc, if you can really call it that, since it seemed to skip the crucial "oh, he's questioning his ways and changing" part felt super rushed (as did Kelly's turn from 2x06-2x08). I think they did film more of it (since we know of some cut stuff), but since it didn't make it to the screen, it felt very strange that Faran suddenly liked Greg (I'm not saying they played it like she's in love with him or anything, but I feel like they skipped the middle bit between "he annoys the hell out of her and she really dislikes him" to "he's apologized and now they're hooking up,"). It was just too fast.

I definitely expected Imogen's mental health to ultimately play a bigger role than it did, considering how much time they spent on it.

It is hard to believe Mrs. Beasley, Pastor Malachi, Kelly, Greg, (and presumably Henry, since they never reveal him as an antagonist) didn't notice that there was an entire additional cult in their cult.

The scene where all the girls started bickering about their SOs was one of my favorites from the finale. It felt so realistic that they wouldn't all just be on board with these new people they don't know at all (and most of them didn't interact with the new love interests that weren't their own almost at all) and assume they're all great. It was refreshing to see the girls disagree and take a few jabs at each other, because while I love them supporting each other, those moments of coming together feel like they mean less when they're all just always on the same page.

As a writer and creator myself, I understand that it is much easier to criticize than it is to create, but one of the big advantages of collaboration is that theoretically you have a lot of people looking at your work with a critical and constructive eye and shaping the story into the best version of itself. This season felt like it really could have used some editing and refining (in the writing process, before you even get to the film editing) to streamline the storylines and not get too bogged down in areas that don't pay off.

To leave things on a high note- I really did have fun watching the show this season & trying to puzzle things out. I just feel there were some pretty glaring flaws, as well.

[zmediaoutlet]

ww: letters (2)

for the @wincestwednesdays prompt: begging

You remember—it was forever ago, even I barely remember it except that I was embarrassed, kind of. Not that I should’ve been, considering the kind of stuff you’d admit out loud, like it was nothing. We were on that job with—a ghost, I think it was—and I told you that I prayed. What I remember best is the look on your face. Like, you really thought you knew everything about me and I was pulling the rug out, not even meaning to.

I guess I’d never told you. We never talked about that stuff. I just assumed, with the kind of lives we led and the work we did, that you’d come to the same conclusion. If there was dark there had to be light. Should’ve realized. You always were a pessimist. You were usually right about the big stuff, too, but not this one. Although I guess we were both wrong, in the end. What I prayed to, that wasn’t what turned out to be the truth. Pretty much the opposite.

Today I got really drunk. One of those things I’ve practiced. You’re gone and I lose it. Mostly I pull it together, after a week or two, but today just—fell apart. The car blew a tire. Middle of Ohio; it hasn’t improved since you last saw it. Got a motel room and I walked in and there was this ugly brown carpet and uglier green blankets on the two beds and I just stood there, holding my bags, and I really, really wanted to kill myself. Like that was the best option. Like if I could just not be here anymore, looking at the beds and wondering what I was going to do the next day and the day after that, that’d—it wouldn’t solve anything. It’d just be a relief.

One of the times you and Dad left me with Pastor Jim, he asked if I wanted to come to his Sunday service. What else was I going to do. He only had twenty, thirty people in that little church and he let me sit in the back and he talked about faith. The evidence of things not seen. How small the soul could feel, how insignificant you could be in the face of the huge cresting wave of the dark, but how you could stand firm, anyway, and know that even if your own strength wasn’t enough you could call on some deeper greater thing and withstand whatever crashed down.

I’m out of practice. When we found out the truth I didn’t really know how to go back to that place. Plus, I realized that half the time the strength I was drawing on wasn’t any mystical distant thing but was just—us. The two of us in the car, looking out at the road together. The look you’d get when you thought of something funny and knew I was going to groan about it and you’d just grin bigger because I was groaning. Your shoulder against mine, in the dark. Steadiest thing in the world. I’m spun out, now. I don’t know what to brace against.

The impulse passed. Or I drowned it. Kinda feel like I’m going to puke. The room’s not spinning, at least. I killed the other thing but I still have the memories. Like how, back then, I went down under some vision and it was you, not any greater purpose or power, that caught my arm and eased me down and got a hand under my jaw, and said my name, and that was how I knew who I was. How I knew I could get through it, no matter what. I want that back so badly my whole body hurts. Though that could also be the hangover.

I can hear your voice, like you’re right behind my shoulder, saying, hey, you want a higher power, I got one right here. You always thought you were funny. I never laughed because—I don’t know, I just didn’t. But if you don’t mind I think I might take you up on that. No other offers going and I can see that wave, building higher. Bigger than me. Might need to borrow your lighter.

[sunder-the-gold]

When there is no Truth but Power

Why do the Left believe in “subjective truth” and “living your own truth”, even when that flies in the face of other people’s “truths”, or institutional knowledge, or inconvenient facts known by eyewitnesses?

Why does the same political tribe ALSO believe in shunning, punishing, and even outright attacking anyone whose “truth” contradicts the narrative of their leaders? Isn’t that imposing an objective truth upon other’s subjective truths?

The contradiction stems from the consistent core principle that the only Truth is Power.

When your peer on the street contradicts the self-serving narrative you want to tell with their own personal experiences, or with actual facts from history or studies, or with conclusions based on logical arguments… well, they have no more power than you. If they’re not willing to use violence to impose their truth upon you, you’re free to reject their truth and live in your own.

When their political party controls the majority of the government, you believe their truth only exists because they have the power to make it real, and so you desire for your own party to take control of the government so that they can make real the reality you like better.

Also, because you believe your party will allow you to keep living in your own subjective truth, insulated from the criticism of your peers, or with the opportunity to impose your truths upon them whenever you gain the advantage in power. Just as long as your truths don’t come into conflict with the truths of the leadership.

When your leader espouses a different truth today than the one they did yesterday, well, they’re more powerful than you. If they have the power to speak it into existence, then you must embrace it if you want to remain part of that power structure. If you contradict the current narrative, you are trying to steal power from your leadership, and if the leadership doesn’t rebuke you, the rest of the faithful will.

This is also why you must silence any outsider who contradicts the truth of the leadership. Because if other people have the power to speak, they have the power to control truth. If you can remove their power to speak, you prove that they don’t have enough power, and that therefore anything they wanted to say was a lie.

Lies are weakness, and since your leadership cannot be weak, because the weak cannot control the truth, nothing the leadership says can ever be a lie.

Post Truth Era

Modernism promised that science could answer every problem and question of human existence, including the meaning and purpose of life. The philosopher kings swore that they could find the Truth, and from it derive a one-size-fits-all model of life that all of humanity would gladly accept, ushering in a utopia of peaceful coexistence.

Nietzsche warned them that killing God would leave a void they had no equal to fill, and that if they failed to replace God it would led to nihilism.

Postmodernism is the natural result. The skepticism required for Modernism turned upon science itself, and people no longer believe in the scientific method or the objectivity of those who call themselves scientists. In the absence of God, humanity deified their nations, rock stars, actors, celebrities, political leaders, charismatic pastors, ethnic identities, sainthood through victimhood…

Or, for Magic: The Gathering nerds…

The Enlightenment was Blue deciding that if it cooperated with Black and betrayed White to cripple White and Green, then naturally everyone would see the superiority of Blue and flock to Blue’s philosophy.

And while some people did flee from Green and White to Blue, just as many or more fled to Red and Black.

So rather than Blue achieving its paradise of Esper, we ended up in Grixis.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Daniel Villarreal at LGBTQ Nation:

Kamala Harris describes her “fury” when the Supreme Court revoked abortion rights in powerful convo on hit podcast Call Me Daddy. To commemorate the 50th anniversary of the recently overturned Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision that established abortion rights nationwide, Democratic presidential nominee Vice President Kamala Harris spoke this weekend on the women’s empowerment podcast Call Her Daddy with host Alex Cooper. Cooper is the highest-paid female podcaster on the Spotify streaming platform, and her show has an estimated 5 million weekly listeners. “This is a moment for all of us to understand our power as an extension of our rights, and to join together in sisterhood and fellowship among all people, regardless of gender, to speak up,” Harris said after Cooper’s introduction.

Harris then said that when the Republican-led Supreme Court overruled Roe v. Wade in June 2022, she was traveling to meet Rep. Lauren Underwood (D-IL) to work on the issue of “women unnecessarily dying in connection with childbirth,” an issue that disproportionately kills rural, Black, and Native American women. “And the decision came down, and I called my husband [Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff] immediately, because he’s about the only person I could call with the furor that I had in a most unrestrained way with language that stood honor to that fury,” Harris said, “[especially about the] hypocrisy of these people who pretend and put themselves out as caring about the sanctity of life, but have been wholly absent those numbers when it comes to the fact that women are dying every day in America in connection with childbirth.” Harris said that women don’t often share their difficult stories about childbirth because there is an “associated” social judgment that “is designed to make her feel bad or embarrassed or in some way subversive or an outcast” or “as though she did something wrong, and they will therefore silently suffer.”

She then called anti-abortion laws a “violation” of women’s bodily autonomy that sometimes occurs after an initial violation of rape or incest. She noted that doctors in states with abortion bans have withheld lifesaving medical care from pregnant patients for fear of violating Trump abortion bans. “Here’s the bottom line: government should not be telling people what to do about their own bodies,” Harris said calling the issue one of self-determination, freedom and liberty. “One does not have to abandon their faith or deeply held beliefs to agree that the government should not be telling her what to do. Let her make that decision with her pastor or rabbi. Let her make that decision, if she chooses, with her loved ones.” “Individuals should have the right to make decisions about the matters of heart and home,” Harris continued. “So that’s about who you marry. It’s about what you choose to do within the privacy of your home that is not about hurting anyone else, the choices that you rightly should have… the freedom to make, and our homes are our bodies.”

On the Call Her Daddy podcast, Kamala Harris called out the GOP hypocrisy on “sanctity of life.”

From the 10.06.2024 edition of SiriusXM/Unwell Network’s Call Her Daddy:

[lifeontoast]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write something with Eli Sunday? Maybe something with fluff?

I love your writing by the way. I look forward to your yummy posts 💕💕💕💕

Honey-Sweet

 

Eli Sunday x reader (gender neutral reader – no pronouns used)

 

SUMMARY: Reader comforts Eli after a long and tiring day as the pastor of Little Boston.

 

Word count: 1.1k

 

A/N: thank you yummy anon for this request! Hope you like it and sorry it’s taken a while 💕 (also thanks for the compliment I’m giggling and kicking my feet!!)☺️

 

Trigger warnings: use of ‘love’ and ‘dear’ as a pet name, but apart from that, none, just domestic fluffy bliss!

 

…

Eli walks in the door, arms drooping and head bent. He’s clearly had a long and hard day. ‘He works too hard’, you think to yourself, walking over to him. You greet him and place a soft kiss on his cheek. He smiles weakly, appreciating the gesture. Your heart melts for him, it really does.

 

Ever since you married Little Boston’s pastor, your life has never been the same. Eli has been the perfect husband, and you have never wanted for anything. You had just moved to Little Boston, and of course you had heard all about him and his ‘special powers’, so when you first met him, you weren’t at all sure of his frankly cocky and somewhat overconfident manner. He was clearly keen to impress you with his skills and personality. He must have sensed your dislike of him, as you found that, as you kept meeting, these qualities diminished in him. He allowed you to see the real him, the kind, sweet him, and you loved him for that. It was his real self that made you allow him to court you, and then, marry you. That was a couple of years ago now, but your relationship still retains the same spark.

 

That was how you found yourself, arms around Eli, in your kitchen on the Sunday ranch.

 

He sits at the table and put his head in his hands. You place your hands gently on his shoulders with a smile, and he couldn’t help but look up into your eyes.

‘Tell me all about your day, love.’ You say encouragingly.

He nods. ‘Well, the morning was fine, just the service as you know. But this afternoon, it’s been… dreadful. A few house calls, and I was already tired out. But then there was a whole business with that Plainview and he just got me so angry. He really riled me up.’ He sighs.

‘What did he do, Eli?’ you sigh. You’ve been hearing an awful lot about Daniel Plainview lately, and never having even met the man, you didn’t like him. Not one bit.

‘It was just the way he talked to me. He taunted me. He refused to give me the money for the church, again. I’m getting awful sick of it, I tell you.’

You were sympathetic. ‘come now, love. Let’s forget about all this for tonight, hmm? You can worry tomorrow.’

He just nods and gives you a wan smile. You smile back. You know just what to do.

‘I think you need a nice warm meal and a bath, don’t you think? Why don’t you get in the bath while I make you something nice?’ you place your hands gently on his face, so he looks at you. He finally smiles properly for the first time that day. After giving you a small kiss, he gets up and walks tiredly out of the room, while you start thinking about preparing dinner.

 

Just as you’re finishing things off in the kitchen, Eli comes back, skin all pink and warm from the bath. He comes to you and puts his arms around you from behind, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

‘do you feel better now, love?’ you ask.

‘yes, much. Thank you dear.’

‘I’m glad. I’m just about finished here, if you’d like to take a seat at the table?’ you put the food into dishes, and place them on the table. He sits down, but not before pulling your chair out for you. This makes you smile; even when he’s feeling down, he’s still a total gentleman. The two of you begin to eat your food, and Eli gives you little compliments about it here and there. When you finish, you make idle chat and he asks you about your day, though nothing much has happened for you. Eli looks tired still, so you decide to wash the dishes, even when he normally would offer to. He says nothing as you stand by the sink, washing away. This tells you something must be seriously wrong.

 

Later on, you’re both sat in the kitchen, him reading a book, you finishing off some chores. As you look at him, you notice that he hasn’t turned the page in a while. He seems to just be staring at nothing, and his eyes have a shiny film to them. You go to him. Suddenly, his head is in his hands, and he looks like he has the entire weight of the world on his shoulders. Gently holding him, you whisper honey-sweet words to him. He starts to cry quietly, something you have rarely seen. Soon he’s inconsolable as the tears really set in. You stroke his hair soothingly and keep trying your hardest to comfort him (it’s all soft and fluffy from the bath, so different from how it usually is, all slicked back neatly). Plainview must really have got to him.

He calms down somewhat as you keep holding him. You’re his home, all he needs, and he knows that very well by now. Another thing he knows for certain is that you can always be counted on to make him feel better about his struggles, and that you can help him forget his worries. Sniffling, he looks into your pretty eyes. You give him a bright smile, and yet your eyes tell him you’re sympathetic to his plight. He simply can’t resist the happiness and calmness you radiate, and soon enough, he begins to smile too. A little at first, then more and more. He’s forgotten all about Daniel Plainview as he’s too busy staring at how beautiful you are. The way your eyes shine when you look at him, as if you couldn’t be more in love. The way your hair frames your angel’s face absolutely perfectly. The way your lips curve as you smile at him. Your dedication to Eli is blatantly obvious, as you stand by him even in his darkest hours.

 

The dusky light coming in from the window brought with it a light breeze, picking up your hair and gently blowing it across your face. Eli thought he had never seen anything so lovely in his entire life.

‘Y/N, love, did you know you are quite the most ethereal creature on earth?’ he told you, making you blush a pretty pink.

 

He pulls you down to his lap, so he can hug you properly. The soft, warm hug he enveloped you in told you everything you needed to know:

‘thank you’.

 

…

 

I hope this isn’t absolutely crap!! Thanks for reading even if it was though :)

[nighthaterfrfr]

i don't bite (well, maybe that's a lie)

[it rotted my brain so much that i couldnt resist. thank u @jben073 for helpin me w the ending, my writing still sucks but wtvr... look lets make it modern bc im not doing research on old shit. my brains small so i dont wanna make it smaller. @wispexists made this beautiful art, check it pls pls pls its so good

anwho here it is

OH TW FOR BLOOD BEFORE I FORGET (vampire.. duh) ]

People's blood is a very sacred thing. In many religions, it's often considered the life of a human. Yet, it's something vampires need for sustenance. Most consider vegan diets, and some just become full on killers when too unregulated.

Stephanie Lauter is unfortunately, a vampire. From what she overhears, her dad made some deal with eldritch gods, and that's why she's here. Solomon Lauter hates his daughter, but she hates him back too. However, to not expose this secret to the public, he helps get Steph's cravings in check by supplying her with animal blood.

Yet, it's never a filling meal. She hasn't had a proper, enriching, bit of human blood in such a long time. Not since middle school. But never in a million years did she expect to drink the blood of the pastor's daughter, Grace Chasity.

Nor did she expect how delicious the blood would be.

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Every other day, Steph spends her nights at the old Waylon Hall. Hearing all the rumors about the place, it doesn't seem so bad. It's just really fucking abandoned and creepy. Nonetheless, a few candles and fairy lights powered by battery packs make the house look a lot less evil.

This night, she decided to bring more and more of her belongings into the living room. Yeesh, it's a damn mess. She swept the floor with an old broom she found in a janitorial closet, suited most likely for a maid. The more Steph cleaned up the hall, the more she liked that it became kind of her own hideaway. A very eerie home away from home.

After a few hours of just generally cleaning and decorating the main room, she smiled. For once her life, Stephanie Lauter had made something she was proud of. How fun.

Suddenly, she heard an opening from the front door.

For the months she had spent going here, no one had dare even approach the Hall's grounds. So who the fuck seems brave enough to wander in the most "haunted" place in all of Hatchetfield?

Who the fuck..

Steph had hid in some big closet in the room, and took a look at the girl trespassing in her space. In which she was also trespassing in. The girl wore a light blue sweater and a white button up underneath. She wore a brown skirt, white socks and Black Mary Janes. She had rolled up the sleeves of both the button up and the sweater and had her hair in a side part.

Look, she was already in a silk dress meant for sleeping, and she did not want to be disturbed by some girl. However, something just... attracted her. Steph sniffed something good. Better than the "wagyu cow blood" her dad ended up getting to satisfy the urges. Shit, this came from the girl, didn't it?

God- it smelled so good. That feeling of hunger filled Steph's mind and triggered her vampiristic instincts. She need to feed, fast.

As the girl turned her back, Steph quietly came out of the closet she was hiding him. Walking towards the back of her, she saw that her neck was wide open. Thank god for people parting their hair sideways. As she was about to feed, she snapped back to reality, wobbling back and falling on the floor. Of course, the girl turned around, and looked right at Steph.

"Oh my- who are you? What are you doing out here so late?"

The girl put a hand out, and Steph took it. She quickly responded, "I suppose I could ask you the same question, but I don't think I'll get an answer. I'm Steph." "Grace. My father and I were seeing the house earlier, and I left my 'What Would Jesus Do?' bracelet here." Steph nodded as her eyes are remained on Grace's neck and forearms. They sure do look appealing.

Grace yawned, and ended up sitting on the floor. Steph had already placed some sort of old mattress on there, and simply covered with a bedsheet. "Man, I gotta bike back..." Steph looked at the girl while she complained, and smirked slightly. With an alluring look in her eyes, she turned Grace's head to look at her. "Ah, it's alright. Rest here for a bit, I won't bite."

Grace looked nervous at the offer. She had to go home, she wanted to go home. Yet, this girl... Steph, she just drew her in. Before she knew it, her mouth muttered the words yes, and the two kept on staring at each other. "Now Grace, I have to ask you a question. Do you know anything about vampires and the like?"

"...no? If it's some kind of like, band fans, then I have no idea about them."

Steph looked shocked at this admission, and tried to think through how she'll phrase this properly. In order to charm a human properly, you first need a good approach, don't you?

"Ok then. A vampire is.. a creature who preys on human blood. They usually hate the sunlight, garlic, and silver. Got it?" Grace nodded. "I do. How come you're telling me this?" "Will you believe me if I say that I am a vampire?"

Grace looked confused at the question. Was this girl playing some kind of cruel trick with her? But, like God commanded, answer truthfully. "Why would I? You sound kind of insane right now." Steph smirked, opening her mouth and baring her fangs. They're way too sharp and long to be just a regular humans, and she put her hair back behind her pointed, pierced ears. Grace looked a bit scared, she's never seen a person like this, but regardless, she wanted to know more.

Something keeps telling her she wants to know more.

"And look, Grace. I'm quite hungry right now. Would you mind if I.. just got a bit of your blood~?"

Steph asked, leaning closer towards Grace. The closer she got, the redder the other girl's face was. She then pushed her away slightly, hesitance in her voice. "I... I don't- will it hurt?" "Probably, Gracie. Do you want me to comfort your boo boo, then?" Grace blushed even more, unsure what this feeling is towards the mysterious girl and confused as to what's happening.

Look, Grace had some strong willpower. That's what you have when your dad's the town pastor, after all. However, when she offered her arm to Steph, who's presumably a "vampire," that might be the complete opposite fact. "Go- just take what you need..."

The vampire widened her eyes. From stories she's heard, people need a lot more convincing. But this pretty girl just offers up her arm and blood? Hey, at least it was easy to get a meal for Steph today.

She took Grace's arm gently, placing it near her mouth. Jesus, the smell of the blood really came out. Her mouth almost watered at simply the smell, but why sniff it instead of tasting it?

Steph's fang suck into the arm, Grace wincing slightly from the pain. As she sucked the blood, she couldn't believe the taste. She couldn't believe how energized she was. And she couldn't believe how insatiable the feeling was from getting this girl's blood was.

Grace watched as Steph sucked the blood out of her arm. It was a bit painful, but is it weird to say it somehow made her extremely tired and excited? She could see her blood dripping down her arm as Steph eagerly feasting on her. It's scary, but it's somehow so attractive at the same time. She could easily pull away- it's not even like she's forcing her too.

It's just that... the feeling in her stomach that she gets from simply seeing this girl means letting Steph doing whatever she wanted. After a few minutes of silence and blood sucking, Steph lifted her head from Grace's forearm, wiping the blood from her mouth with the back of her hand.

As Grace slowly put her arm down, Steph looked at her, longingly and hungry for more. Steph quietly said, "Do you- do you feel ok? Are you too hurt?" The other girl nodded no, and Steph stood up, walking around the room. On top of the fireplace, she rummaged through a little box and found a roll of bandages. Tearing a long piece of it off with her teeth, Steph began to tightly wrap the fabric onto Grace's forearm.

The feeling of Steph wrapping her arm with the bandage, hell the feeling of the wound itself? It all felt numb. Grace Chasity couldn't feel anything ever since Stephanie Lauter sucked her blood. All she knows is that it felt so damn good.

Finally tying the bandage off, Steph leaned back from Grace, letting her sit up. "Alright, let's see.." Steph stared into her eyes, rolling down both the button up and sweater sleeves, covering both of her arms. She stood up, offering a hand out to Grace so that she can also stand up beside her, "Now, I'm sorry pretty girl, but you can't remember this.. for a while. However," Steph paused for a second, twirling a big strand of Grace's hair.

"I have a feeling we'll meet again, won't we? You're of course, drawn to me, but somehow I am too. Even without drinking your blood, something intrigues me about you, Grace. Come back here next time, won't you~?"

As she let go of the other girl's hair, Grace simply smiled and started walking out. Steph hated the charm ability vampires had as she saw the girl leave. Sure, it benefits both her and the person who she charmed because now whoever she targets will have no recollection of what she's done. Yet, something about Grace made her want to have her remember tonight. She wanted Grace to recognize her face and know who left that mark on her forearm. Oh well, what can a girl like her do?

Sighing and lying on the mattress, she closes her eyes. That was good, no, great blood. That's settled. Great blood comes from the prettiest people. Who knew?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grace Chasity woke up the next day, in her bed and feeling somewhat extra tired. It was.. 2 in the afternoon? Huh. As she stood up and walked to the bathroom, she looked in the mirror. She didn't change at all from when she came back home yesterday from school. Thank goodness it was a Saturday, or else she would've gotten in big trouble with her parents.

As she turned on the faucet, she rolled up her sleeves so that the water wouldn't soak the fabric. The more she rolled her sleeves up, the more she saw that on her right arm, bandages tightly covered her forearm. Well that's.. odd.

Stopping for a minute, she pondered over how she got the bandage on her wrist. Staring at the blood covered and hastily wrapped fabric, Grace shook it off and began to start washing her face.

Eh, she must've fell while riding her bike.

[copias-sewer-rat]

THE BLOOD DROPPING FROM THE DARK ROSE IS ALWAYS THE SWEETEST.

Around 5K words, this is a big one for me. We get to meet new characters and Copia being caring and very cute. The plot is plotting. (I will probably revise the grammar and stuff the following days, so sorry for any kind of mistake.TW: Abuse of power by a member of the Catholic church, mentions of abuse in general, a bit angsty, mentions of blood. ⸸read on ao3⸸ ⸸masterlist⸸ Enjoy!

III - Dream On

The beeping from your alarm woke you up on Tuesday. You had not slept that much. Flashes of memories old forgotten were coming back to haunt you. You had dreamed about your parents, your room and of the pastor. It had been a while, but you could still remember their faces very clearly. It were as if they had been burnt into your retinas, always watching you when your eyes were closed. The thought made you feel sick to your stomach.

The dream itself was always the same, so much so that it was even a memory. Hands forcing you to your bed, the face of the pastor on top of you, smiling, mocking you. His name was Father Lawrence Tebbit. You could never forget him. The same prayers and passages from the Bible were spoken to you over and over again. Tears always pricking in your eyes and your pleads forever falling into deaf ears. Your parents were pinning your hands, not letting you escape the bed. Father Lawrence then climbs on top of your tiny chest, his legs restricting you. He shows you his cross and you try to look away, but his hand forcefully pulls you back to look at it. He shouts at you as your feel you breath quickening, the oxygen is leaving your lungs and you pass out to wake up back to reality.

Deciding to not entertain your painful memories anymore, you pushed the alarm back five minutes to think about which were your expectations for the day. Your number one priority was to finish the sketches from the Cardinal’s order and to get his approval. Yesterday, you got the main structures planned, now it was time to think about the distribution of colors and lengths of the flowers. After the confirmation from the cardinal, you needed to let Matty know about your final decision and at which time you would go for the flowers. Then you had other things. Again a couple of bouquets and start thinking about one of the wedding’s arrangements.

However, the most pressing matter in your head was to answer to Cardinal Copia’s pigeon picture. You had been thinking about it a lot before falling asleep, finally deciding on something cute, not corny and also a bit daring on your part.

Claire🌹: “Those babies are adorable! Thank you so much for showing them to me, I appreciate it. I hope to get regular updates of them. I want you to be my personal National Geographic cameraman, Cardinal.”

Without giving it much thought, you sent the message. You received a response almost instantly.

CC: “It will be my life’s duty to protect those pigeons. I swear to you they will be safe with me. I just hope my rats don’t get jealous.” There is a pause and then you realize what he is implying.

Claire🌹: “Wait… You own rats?”

CC: “Yes, they are very cute and also amazing pets.” You cannot believe what you are reading, you have loved rats ever since you were a kid. Ratatouille was only a boost for your love of the creatures.

Claire🌹: “YOU ACTUALLY DO!? I love rats, they are the cuttest! I have never met someone who owns a pet rat.”

CC: “Rats, plural actually. I have three. It is a pleasant surprise to find another rat enjoyer, there are not many like us around. However, due to your love for pigeons I assumed that you had to like rats as well.”

Claire🌹: “A gold star for you for your deduction skills⭐. You are pretty observant!”

CC: “Thank you, Claire. It is a nice feeling to feel appreciated. It does not happen to me much around the Ministry.” You heart sinks a bit hearing that. You have nothing but a good opinion of the Cardinal. Even if you didn’t know him that well, you saw how caring and responsible he was. There was not a lot of people like him.

Claire🌹: “I’m sorry to hear that. I am sure there are plenty of people who appreciate your work, even if they don’t say anything.” It takes a while for the Cardinal to text you back. You were hopping for a longer message, some more information about him. So, when your screen lit up you felt a bit sad.

CC: “I hope so, truly.” You needed to move the conversation to the professional side, even if you did not want to.

Claire🌹: “Now that I have you here, I also wanted to tell you that today you will be receiving the sketches I was telling you about. There are a couple more I want to finish so you have plenty to choose from.”

CC: “Oh, that is perfect then. Maybe it will take me a bit to decide, I am sure all of the drawings will be great.”

Claire🌹: “Let’s hope you do so before tomorrow. It is when I will be picking the flowers up to start the arrangement. It is going to be a lot of them, are you sure none of your band mates has allergies?” It was a very normal question to ask, but you felt a bit silly after sending it. Maybe it was because those masked people, who you supposed were the Cardinal’s band mates, were not… normal.

CC: “No need to worry about them, they are not allergic to flowers.” You were sure that he wanted to say something different, but that would be oversharing, and you were a stranger.

CC: “Also, if you need help picking up the flowers I offer myself to be your assistant for the morning.” Your eyes widened. You were sure that he was a pretty busy man. Why would he help you with something so trivial?

Claire🌹: “I am sure you are quite busy preparing everything. I wouldn’t want to cause any troubles.” You did not want to admit it, but now that he had offered to accompany you, you wanted nothing else that yo spend the following morning with him. Who knows? Maybe you got to know him a little bit more.

CC: “Nothing of the sort, cara. I will tell my brother Terzo to cover for me tomorrow morning. He is pretty familiar with all these preparations, but I will owe him a favor… that could go in any direction.” Now you felt a bit bad.

Claire🌹: “You seem conflicted. I can do it myself, Cardinal. Maybe I was just being a bit dramatic… that’s all”

CC: “If you said it, then it is true. Don’t try to diminish the weight of the task because you think it might be a bother to someone. At least with me you don’t have to do that, Claire. It is okie-dokie to ask for help.” You let out a breath you did not know you were holding, it was so easy to talk to him. And yet, he was able to read you like an open book, and that scared you… a lot.

Claire🌹: “I really appreciate that. I always get scared to be a burden, so I do everything myself. It is a bit tiring sometimes.” You didn’t know were the sudden burst of honesty had come from. Copia was really good at breaking your walls.

CC: “I understand. I am the same. If you want something done the correct way, better to do everything yourself, sì?” He truly understood you.

Claire🌹: “Exactly! Well, when should I pick you up tomorrow then?”

CC: “mmm… what about 9:30? Is it a good time for you?”

Claire🌹: “It is perfect. Do you want me to pick you up at the abbey or somewhere else?”

CC: “The abbey is fine. Do you know where it is?”

Claire🌹: “Not really… I don’t pay that close attention to religious buildings.”

CC: “Then you are missing out on a beautiful piece of architecture, Claire! Let me send you the address and I will wait for you at the entrance.”

Claire🌹: “Perfect! And do not turn off your phone! You still need to choose a sketch!”

CC: “It will be my number 1 priority, do not worry.”

Claire🌹: “I thought your number 1 priority were the pigeons…”

CC: “Mi dispiace! You are right. Then my number 2 priority, but it is very close to be number 1 eh! Do not think ill of me.” It felt like he was taking it so seriously, you laughed to yourself.

Claire🌹: “I was joking, Cardinal. I know that you are a professional. Those pigeons are lucky to have you as their guardian.”

CC: “Worry not! I will be the pigeon protector! It will be my most important title!” At this point, your stomach was hurting of how hard you were laughing.

Claire🌹: “You are so funny, Cardinal. I needed the laugh, thank you.” Again, there was a pause. You wish you were talking to him in person, get all his reactions, catch every glimpse of his eyes.

CC: “No worries, I am glad I could be of assistance. I have to go now, I have a meeting to attend. I will be waiting for you tomorrow then, and also for the drawings. Have a nice morning, Claire.”

Claire🌹: “You too Cardinal!”

The conversation was over and with it came a feeling of emptiness. It was so nice to talk to someone who was willing to listen to you. Maybe the Cardinal felt the same, but you could not be sure.

It was still early enough for you to get a coffee near your shop, so you decided to do exactly that. You dressed yourself in a comfortable way, today you did not need to meet a high member of the church. The choice was clear, your mom jeans, a big shirt with a skeleton dancing on one side, your favorite hoodie and your white boot Converse.

The morning was sunny, a bit windy so the hoodie was a good choice to make. The streets were awfully quiet as you drove to the coffee shop, which conveniently was on the same street as Dewdrop.

The coffee shop was actually a dream come true, at least one of the many dreams you had when you wanted to start a business. If you had not been a florist, the next idea in line was to be a barista. It was white on the outside, with a sunset orange sign that said “The Rest and Be Thankful Coffee Shop”. There was also a big wooden sign on the sign, those that you only see on old taverns. It was a carving of a mug with some steam coming out of it and some embellishments, probably custom made, but you were too afraid to ask.

The owner of the coffee shop, Sam, was a friendly woman to everybody except for you. She did not give you the gentle smile that gave everyone else, or made small talk with you. The coffee was always excellent, but you felt like you could be great friends if you got to talk. She had short dark blonde hair, piercing green eyes and a smile that could start a war. Once you entered, the sweet aroma of toasted beans and baked goods hit you and transported you to your personal heaven. The store was mostly empty but for two costumers sat on tables at the back. Savoring the ambiance of the establishment, you decided to get the usual, a latte and a croissant, which was made also at the coffee shop. Sam took your order, but while she was talking she spoke to one of her assistants.

“Are you sure that it was not fixed?”

“Pretty sure, boss.”

“What an arse! I have been complaining to him about it for months!” You just realized that Sam was Scottish, what a surprise.

“I will try to go to the committee later and see if they tell me anything.”

“Aye, please. If I trip again on it I am going to burn the committee building to the ground. Then they will listen for sure.” You remembered a very big hole close to the coffee shop, that was the thing they were talking about, for certain. Maybe this was your chance to befriend Sam.

“Sorry to interrupt. I could not help but overhear the conversation. Are you talking about the big hole just outside?”

“Aye. The chief of the committee won’t do shit. I have been complaining for months, but I cannot do anything unless they approve the permit.”

“I can help if you want…” Sam and her assistant both looked at you with a puzzled look.

“Pardon?”

“I can help. I helped the chief with a flower arrangement for his daughter’s wedding. He owes me one.” Sam’s eyes widened as you spoke.

“You are the florist! I knew your face was familiar, but I couldn’t remember from where for the life of me.”

“That’s me! You can call me Claire.”

“Certainly a pleasure, Claire. I am Sam.” She extended her hand over the register and you shook it with a smile.

“The pleasure is all mine. As I said, if you ask for it, I will go to the committee building and ask for the favor.”

“You would actually do it? Why? It would certainly help you to be owed a favor by Mr. Shack in the future.”

“I find a lot of peace in this coffee shop, it would be a shame for you to go to jail for burning the committee building.”

“Oh, you are kind and funny. I like you. Just so you know, if I ever committed arson… they would never catch me.” That little remark made you laugh. A genuine laugh. You have probably laughed more these last couple of days than you have in years. The realization makes your heart hurt a bit.

“Oh, I am sure. You seem like the type of person that thinks every step of the way.”

“True, as do you.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Claire, I have seen you sitting here writing lists of pros and cons…” You felt your ears turn red with embarrassment. “It is not a bad thing , Claire. You just like to see both sides before you make an important decision.”

“Guilty. I promise I will talk with Mr. Shack later and try to solve your little hole problem.”

“No problem. Even if you don’t get him to pass the permit…” There was a heavy pause. “Thank you for trying at least. You are a good person.” As she spoke, Sam handed you your order.

“What do I owe you?”

“Nothing. It is on the house. And I will need your number so you can update me on the mission.” Sam gave you a genuine smile and you gave him one back, you had actually made a new friend.

“The mission, huh? Let’s call it operation Cobra.” The name did not convince you, but all the good names would make you look bad.

“Maybe too cliche fro my taste.” You handed her your phone with the new contact screen. “Operation Butt Crack?” She was on your wavelength, amazing.

“Fun and a bit childish, I love it.” She handed your phone back. She had saved her contact as “Sam🍑⚡”. You called her so she would have your number as well. She then gave you a thumbs up.

The store was a starting to pack and a line was starting to form behind you so you said your goodbyes to Sam and her assistant and promised to update her later in the day on Operation Butt Crack.

You sat at your usual spot, close to the window so you could see all the trees outside. Fall was starting to show itself thought the last days of summer and you were glad. Now it was the perfect time to finish the sketch for the Cardinal. You thought of the best position for the flowers, where to put the longer ones and how the colors would coordinate when put together. An hour passed and you felt like you got it. It was done. You were beaming with happiness and without thinking too much took a picture and sent it to the Cardinal. You hopped for a quick response, but then you looked to the last message. He had a reunion, he would not see your message for now. The time to open store for the day had come, so waved Sam and mouthed that you were on your way. She smiled and waved energetically.

The stroll to your store was short but sweet. Some of the tree leaves were falling at your feet and as you step on them you heard a very satisfying crunch. There it stood Drewdrop, always charming and beautiful. It was a slow day overall, few clients that actually bought anything expensive. The majority of the day was spent finishing arrangements. It was quite late, time to close, and you still had not received a message from the Cardinal. You were worried a bit, but you would not tell him that. It did not matter for now as you had a mission, it was time to begging Operation Butt Crack.

————

The building that contained the subject of Operation Butt Crack should be inside working, or at least seeming like he was doing so. You told the woman at the entrance who you were and that you wanted to see Mr. Shack and she responded that he was very busy with a meeting, but that maybe he could talk to you afterwards. However, she did not know when he was going to finish. You told her it was fine and went to Mr. Shack’s office.

It was quiet, everybody had packed up to go home and you were aware of every sound that was happening around you. You head the buzzing of the fridge, the cicadas outside lingering to the last remaining rays of the summer sun, the leak of a heater… and a conversation. You did not want to eavesdrop, but it was so quiet. What were you going to do? Put your hands on your ears like a child who did not want to hear her parents arguing? You knew better.

“The reputation of this good Christian city is going down the drain.”

“It is good that I am here then.”

“I asked specifically for you because of your reputation, Father Tebbit.” Your heart skipped a beat. You could not believe what you were hearing, or rather who. “I want them out. Use whatever means necessary. That Satanic Church mush go away. You understand?” You had to go, you had to tell the Cardinal, but you were frozen.

“I do. I want the same Mr. Shack. Devotees of the Dark Lord should not roam free or be without divine punishment. I am here to provide that.” There was a lot of poison to his voice, which made you even more scared.

Tears were falling down your cheeks, your brain spiraling out of your head and your heart beating so fast you thought it was going to come out. The adrenaline must have hit at the right moment because you started to run. You were so focused about getting out that you had not noticed the office door opening. Father Tebbit only saw your outline going down the stairs, but he could swear that you looked familiar.

Once you were out the building, but you needed to get far away, you could not risk it. Tebbit had come to the town to get rid of the Satanic Church Cardinal Copia was a part of. You knew what he was capable of. He had done it to you, day after day for a year. He was an expert cleanser. Such were his methods that even the Catholic Church had reservations about him. Father Tebbit leaned more towards the cultist side of the church, much more aggressive and “holy”, as he liked to tell you. You were sure he remembered you. You were the reason why he had to use a cane.

One time that you were trying to escape your parents’ house, Father Tebbit had come without invitation. He had said that it was just to check on you. You did not want to risk it, so you hid behind the door and with all the strength your little arms could harvest, you put a heavy box of books on top of it. You were hoping for it to fall of Tebbit’s head, it instead landing on his left foot. He had developed a chronic limp ever since and had to use a cane. The design was pretty telling and you remind it well. He used to hit you with it. He said it was because it helped to get the demons out, you knew it was because of revenge. The shaft of the cane was entirely black, the handle was a ball of amber, and inside there was a wasp. Tebbit had explained that it was a symbol, a symbol of his power to contain evil, to make it stop. You thought it was bullshit.

Once you were far away the committee building you took out your phone. Hands still shaky, you tried to message the Cardinal. He had not answered to your sketch yet. You had no other choice but to call. You needed to keep it together, to sound serious, it was a very serious matter after all. Each tone was a nail on the coffin, a clear sentence of you inability to sound collected. It took eight long tones until the Cardinal picked the phone.

“Buon pomeriggio (good afternoon) Claire. I am sorry I could not answer sooner, but I am currently in an important meeting. Is everything okie dokie?”

At this point you were fully crying again, so you put your hand on the speaker, hopping the Cardinal did not hear you sobbing.

“Everything is okie dokie, Cardinal.” You said with a shaky voice. “I was just worried because you had not seen my sketch yet…” Not a full lie, but a lie nonetheless. You were bothering him. It was an stupid idea to call him, so stupid.

“You…are crying.” Your tears stopped suddenly, it was like he was watching you. Maybe you were not as good as a liar or as an actor as you had hopped. “Where are you, cara?” He sounded so serious, his voice dropping. You could almost see the frown on his face.

“It is nothing reall-” You could not even finish your sentence.

“Not again, cara. Not with me, remember? All that bothers you is important, if you need help is okie-dokie to ask.” You started to cry again.

“I-I need h-help.” You managed to say between sobs.

“Where are you?”You had not even notice, but your sprint had taken you to the local park. You told it to him. “I will be there in fifteen. Stay there.”

He hung the phone and you were crying even harder, missing his voice. There was a bench close to you, it was hard and cold. The sun was starting to set and you were feeling so vulnerable. The face of Father Tebbit was in every cloud and every tree, laughing at you. You were a stupid girl if you thought you were safe from him. You had the sudden urge to run away, start a new. You must have been thinking quite hard because the nest thing you see is Cardinal Copia kneeling beside you, opening your hands. They were bloody, probably done by your own nails.

“Cara, look at me. What is wrong? Are you well?” His hair was a bit all over the place and he was sweating. Copia had run to get to you as fast as his legs could take him.

“I am not. S-someone dangerous is coming to get you, Cardinal. You and your church. He is a putrid human, evil and corruption ooze from him...”

“Claire, I don’t understand you…” His eyes sparkled with worry thanks to the last rays of sun of the day and you let out a dry sob.

“There is a man named Father Lawrence Tebbit. He tortured me when I was a child. He is here, and has been assigned to destroy your church.” Your voice was so calm, the tears were still falling, but there was such a calmness to your voice that the Cardinal seemed worried. His eyes widened, he tried to keep calm for you. While he waited for you to speak again, he was drawing circles on the back of your hand. “He is very dangerous, Cardinal. He won’t only destroy you, he will erase your existence from this town. He can do it, he has the means.”

“This is a very serious issue, Claire. I need you to tell me everything you now. First, however, we need to take care of your hands. Do you have medical supplies in your apartment?” You nodded slightly. “Can you take me there?” You nodded again and Cardinal Copia helped you get up. Your legs were shaky and the Cardinal waited until you moved for him to do so with you. Slowly but steadily you took him to your apartment.

————

It was so dark until you flicked the light. It had scared you once, the dark, when you were a child. You were afraid of being scared of it again.

“Where is your first aid kit?” The Cardinal asked. For a while his hand had been placed on the top part of your back. You were grateful thought, without it you might have fallen.

“Bathroom. Behind the mirror.” You said, and the Cardinal let you rest against the wall of your hall. You heard as he fidgeted with the mirror. Something fell and he cursed in Italian. Then, he rushed back to your side.

“Let’s sit you down and then I will cure your hands.”

Your apartment was a mess, but he did not care. Your face was a mess, but he also did not care. He helped you sit on your couch and then he sat right next to you, preparing the alcohol and some gauze.

“Mi dispiace cara (I am sorry darling). This will sting a bit.” He removed his gloves to avoid them getting stained with the alcohol. His hands were big, with long and firm fingers. The Cardinal meticulously cleaned the marks on your palms. You hissed at the painful sensation, but at least it meant you were back to your senses a bit.

After putting some clean gauze on your hands, the Cardinal stood up to throw the bloodied ones in your kitchen. He was gone for a second, but somehow he managed to come back with a glass of water.

“Thank you, Cardinal.” You gave him a slight polite smile.

“Call me Copia, per favore (please).” You blushed a bit.

“Thank you, Copia.”

“Prego (you are welcome).” He smiled back at you. That is when you truly felt safe for the first time since you had heard Father Tebbit’s voice.

“I am sorry for causing you so much trouble, Copia.” You muttered, lowering your head.

“Don’t be sorry about that. You were afraid and seemingly angry. Please explain everything to me so I can understand properly.” You nodded.

You told the Cardinal bits of your childhood. Not the worst ones tough, you were not ready to talk about then. You explained enough for him to be aware of the weight of the situation. Tebbit’s character, what drives him, his large web of connections to violent people… You also told him a bit about your parents and how you ran away. His expression was kind and patient. Nonetheless, as you continued speaking, you could see his brows sinking more and more. Lastly, you explained what you heard, how Mr. Shack had hired Tebbit to get rid of the Satanic church that resided there. The expression on Copia’s face tried to be understanding, but you could feel his anger.

“I am not lying, Copia, I swear.”

“I believe you, cara. Do not worry.” He finally said. “I need to get back to the abbey and explain what you just said. Will you be safe here?” Copia rose from his seat.

“I think so, Tebbit does not know where I live that I know of.”

“Va bene (it's good), for now that should be enough. And I am sorry, Claire, tomorrow I won’t be able to accompany you to pick the flowers. I will send a couple of my ghouls with you to get them. They will pick you up here, at the time we said.” You wanted to go with him though, you decided to keep your desire to yourself.

“Okie dokie, Copia.” You nodded. The Cardinal was turning away from you, putting his gloves back on and heading towards the door. Then you remembered. “Wait. I know it is a bit anticlimactic… you still need to get my sketch approved.”

Copia stood there, in the middle of your hall. He faintly smiled and nodded back to you. You went back to get your sketchbook, a bit nervous. You wanted for Copia to like the drawing, it would balance everything bad out. As you got back to Copia, he was sending a text message. He would probably need to give a lot of explanations when he got back to the abbey. You handed him the drawing. While looking at it, you could see a sad smile appear on his lips.

“It is perfect, cara. I approve.” You smiled so big that you feared some tears would start falling again. As he gave you the sketchbook back, he caught your hand in his, careful to not hurt you, and kissed the back so gently, but you hoped it stained the bandage a bit, a memento.

“Sei un'artista meravigliosa (You are an amazing artist). I will talk to you tomorrow, I promise. Until then, rest well, cara.” After that, he left.

Suddenly the apartment was cold. You did not have the energy to do anything else so you changed into your pajamas and went to bed, wishing there was someone holding you as you drifted into your slumber.

...

Hope you enjoyed! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter (I love drama). Next week I am going away again so I will try to work on some of the AUs. Down below I leave you a rendition made by yours trully of the arragement sketch. It is not as good as I wanted it to be, but you get the idea.

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-MASTERLIST-

[cream-and-tea]

HEYYY so. scanning a menu rn. pallas & agnes 11 12 14 and 56 because it's been half a day and i'm still incredibly abnormal about them 👍

well i’m abnormal about them too this is very effective symbiosis 👍 (questions from here!)

If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

hmm. when it comes to pallas i think it’d come down to how whoevers doing the impersonating acted around other people. because from the outside pallas seems like they act the same way around everyone, but in reality they really don’t??? like they are openly hostile to almost everyone but often in slightly different ways. how they interact with fiver (who they hate) and calliope (who they also hate) might come across as very similar to someone who’s only observed them, no matter how closely, but if those two interacted with a doppelgänger one after the other they would probably be able to put together that something was Up. either that or agnes could ask about any of the shit that happens in chapter ten of the book bc literally no one knows about that except the two of them.

agnes has a lot of niche interests and hobbies that would make for easy testing but it’s also entirely in character for her to sometimes not remember obvious details/facts about them or mix things up, so i think watching how the imposter acted as her in a stressful situation would be the most surefire way to tell. if the imposter can’t replicate the specific way she snowballs from placating and peacekeeping to denial that anything remotely bad is even happening it would be a hard sell to the people (especially pallas) who know her. also she’s allergic to strawberries and i feel like that would be a hard thing to fake effectively lol.

What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

oooo okay okay. for pallas i think there’s a painting in one of The Library’s art halls that’s some very simple pastoral scene of like. a girl sitting by a window with a cat on her lap. except. except. it is so clear that whichever artist did it could not paint animals for shit and the cat in the painting is medieval heraldry levels of weird looking. they probably found it while exploring as a kid, lost their mind laughing over it, and even now have to suppress a smile when walking past it. tbh not much makes them laugh but i do think they have a fondness for irony or observational humour, if only under very specific circumstances.

agnes struggles A Lot with jokes (itsthe autism ain’t it!!), she’s always laughing at the wrong things or not laughing at all or asking questions that ruin the punchline and it’s generally just a bad time for her, so i think for comedy to work for her it has to be very obviously intended as comedic and she has to know what exactly makes it funny, stuff like puns or even knock-knock jokes. she’s also someone who laughs a lot in general, either when she’s very happy or very nervous it’s kinda her go-to response. sometimes the circumstances of your life get so absurd that you just have to laugh at it all and she has loooong since passed that threshold

How do they put out a candle?

pallas does the “lick your fingers and pinch the wick” move but they don’t lick their fingers because they’ve got bloodflesh magic. except pallas almost never uses their powers for healing they just always think that hypothetically they could use their powers for healing, which means they’re accumulating reckless little injuries all the time bc technically they can fix them later. they like never remember to actually do that though.

agnes doesn’t “put out” candles if she lights one she is letting that thing burn to nothing so she can mess around with the melted wax. she’s also the kind of person who’d have more than one scented candle going at once so her room smells like a particularly tiny stuffy occult store

If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

pallas generally doesn’t want comfort when they’re scared because that would require another person seeing them be scared and they would rather be dropped headfirst into the marianas trench than submit themself to that. but when they do want it they almost always want it from the director (<- head of The Library who became their personal tutor at age 13 when their powers started flaring out of control) (<- more succinct way of saying ‘who metaphorically stuck their brain in a blender and turned it onto the highest setting’)

this desire mostly stems from how they do view the director as a parental figure, despite her always insisting that all she has ever done for pallas is teach them and that is all she will ever do (<- things said by a woman about to obliterate any boundary in her relationship with this kid while still insisting on a facade of chilly professionalism.) and despite hating themself for viewing her that way. like that is their boss and their principal and their handler and their colleague and their god but that’s also their mom! and sometimes all they want when they’re scared is for her to tell them it’s not real it can’t hurt them and everything is going to be okay! the thing is that the director knows this and will occasionally offer parental comfort to pallas so that they have to choose between refusing it or accepting it and being punished for doing that. shits bad in here.

as for agnes she figured out pretty early that she couldn’t really turn to either of her parents (her mother would never take her seriously and her father would offer her comfort but then inevitably tell her mother who would get angry with her for upsetting her father. rinse repeat) so for years she ended up seeking out the ghosts she saw in the abandoned town her family were based in. bc of the nature of how ghosts work in lay me down they couldn’t be much help when it came to talking her down or empathizing with her emotions, but she developed a habit of finding the most frightening one she could (like someone who had died a particularly gruesome death) and focusing on that instead of what she was afraid of, which usually worked, and if it was only going to make things worse there were plenty of more peaceful-looking ghosts who it’d be easy to pretend to have a very soothing nice conversation with. flawless system!!!

now that she’s away from home and in The Library pallas has become her go-to person for comfort which they are. um. remarkably bad at giving. but the comfort they provide is a lot more tangible in agnes’s mind (even if something is coming to kill me pallas will kill it first. even if something out there is bad pallas is worse. pallas needs me so they can’t let me get hurt.) so she can handle their TOTAL lack of understanding and sympathy. they’ve also never outright denied her or turned her away when she comes looking for comfort no matter how uncomfortable it obviously makes them (i mean. they’ve never actively welcomed or encouraged her doing it either but that doesn’t matter to agnes at all) and she sees this as a promising sign that she’s making progress towards her eventual goal of Getting Pallas To Be Vulnerable. she gets to feel safer and she gets to make pallas express an emotion in front of her it’s a win win in her books. everyone is always saying ‘agnes why do you keep sticking your head in the lions (pallas’s) mouth’ and never how was the mouth was the mouth fun the mouth looked fun. also the lion (pallas) literally promised her it would never ever bite down. so there <3

[theandersenjournals]

do you have any headcannons for ur bug? :) ur silly guy .. guy we gotta put under a aaaa microscope - @knashingmawz

In preparation for this ask, I turned on Sean’s playlist and then immediately forgot about this ask because I HAD to go write a 2k word analysis on my own rp responses. And then I just kept forgetting. So let’s try to do this AGAIN, YAY, turning on the bleed out mountain goats album.

So, as for my Sean, I refer to him as my bug because I have a fascination with him. Specifically in the like . 🔍 studying manner. But also, actually, I do have this headcanon that he has a fascination with bugs. Actually, I like to imagine he likes all sorts of insects and arachnids and then also separate creatures like mollusks. Little things. 

Okay, onto more concise headcanons! Things I was told but cannot prove also go under this section, like Sean and Lee being childhood friends, Sean growing up in the cult as opposed to forming it, ect. But I use these to base my thoughts because these make for a fun and fascinating story to me! I like the idea that he grew up like this, and i’ve made a note about this when speaking to some friends, but;

Generally my big ones are on the family and building their worldbuilding and what exactly they stand for in the narrative. My favorite concept is that the leader never survives very long ; the leader is always whoever is most necessary to the goal at the time. Hence, why Sean became leader; he was loyal and as close to a Carrier as anyone could be, he had the means to be useful. Before him, it's always pastors, politicians, police, doctors, ect, people who are important, and the cult teaches the children to grow into these professions to garner as much power as possible. They want their hands everywhere, in everything, hearing and speaking to as many as they can. The Family teaches closeness amongst members, speaks that they are the only ones who will find salvation in the new world, that the Leaders will be the gods that reign alongside The Speaker when the world ends and is started anew (by merging purgatory with the overworld! that one's canon) but! the leader of each sector of the cult (i like to pretend it's much bigger than it likely is) never makes it too long! because someone else is always more useful, more important, like Sean! Therefore, they tend to fall into madness from The Speaker's whispers and pass on at its hands, or kill themselves to escape once it starts getting bad. which, funny enough, was HIS fate too! He tells Lee that he gave up his family and his humanity for the Speaker, of course he’s in it’s world in the afterlife, and it’s “his will.” 

Significantly more fucked up headcanon: leaders and important figures to The Family get branded or otherwise 'marked' to display their loyalty and exactly who or what they belong to. Sean got branded when he became leader and at the same time he got REALLY hooked on The Speaker and hes very proud of that fucking mark. "this is my divine right" ass. He’s in deep!! I also like to imagine he leaves this same scar on Lee, sort of binding them together, The Leader and The Carrier, two beings that can never escape their binding fates, they will both be tools for the new world and be together in the afterlife– Sean says this in the series too; they’re going to the same place!

Sean: You think I'd go somewhere else when I died? After sacrificing my humanity- to him? Lee: You're not real! You're not real! Sean: You know- the same thing will happen to you, when you go. Lee: Shut up! Shut up!

This also links into a secondary thought I have about him in which he’s really fucking weird about pain ; The Speaker, canonically, makes whoever it speaks to- sick. Okay, not sick. It actively hurts. It hurts like nothing you've ever felt, according to Lee. And then, if you listen long enough, it has a drug quality to it; Sean is quite literally addicted to his own god! And that shit HURTS, but it feels good, it feels powerful, it feels– right! It becomes necessary, something to attach to, you need it like you need breathing, and you start to associate this pain and agony with good things, pleasure, greatness, going through this means you get this BLESSING of hearing The Speaker’s voice! So now Sean tackles everything with this concept; Pain brings good things, it brings clarity, pain is associated with everything he needs. This doubles; I like to think The Speaker literally warps the way you think. I think , in the sense of a leader , it needs someone cruel and ruthless. We know it's incredibly intelligent, we know it's a mastermind of sorts- it's not hard to make the jump and assume that on top of it all; the irritation and swings of withdrawal, the desperation, all of it- it's fully capable of destroying who you are and turning you into something monsterous in it's image. That's what a good leader should be, ^_^ Resembling their god!

Fuckingngngng freak. I have more thoughts about him. Nicer thoughts. He looks at birds and thinks of Lee. Him and Lee were childhood friends— Sean picks lizards off of bricks and shows them off. They tussle in the grass together. They get fuckin drunk off their asses in the back of Sean’s busted ass car and talk about the future– Sean always said he never knew what he wanted to do. He meant it, because his fate was already decided by someone else. Him and Mo knew each other because of this. He never really had stuffed animals as a kid and he thinks theyre really dorky but he keeps getting them as gifts and from games and shit and he really likes them . he wears almost exclusively graphic tees and band tees and its weird as FUCK to see him wearing anything else. adnd ten million more things but god this is a long post can you send me another ask /silly

overall, one thing: he is THIS FUCKIN SONG! canaries in the coal mine by john congleton and the nighty nite. thats sean wf.

[horizon-verizon]

First Quick Impressions of S2 Episode 7 of HotD

These are all straight off the dome, no editing or deep thinking but also carrying off of earlier thoughts of the show's direction, writing, etc. bc how else can one do so? Thereby, near stream of consciousness, sometimes it may be incoherent, and ALL the spelling/grammar mistakes.

Viserys--"the crown places a heavy weight on those under it/bear it/do you still want this crown after having wanted it all your life?"---so is Daemon meant to be convinced he must allay that weight for Rhaenyra by not being too impulsive and violent, yes...

bet they won't be as harsh on Alyn for his "salt and sea" comment as they were for Baela's own Targ self affirmation

weird that there are KG going to the Wall when the Starks are the ones who'd give them passage or not, and the Starks are on Rhaenyra's side, even if "lightly"....unless the writers are either are using the Starks'/Norht's open hand for more Night's Watch established by Ned in GoT OR they are flying by the seat of their pants again

so were people meant to take Jace's words abt the Valyrians writing you need Targ blood to be a rider being just a means of power and exclusivity as him being sarcastic about it, bc now it seems that he was with all the "baseborn", "mongrels", "lowborn", "House Targaryen are the blood of the dragon. If they can do it, what are we then?" stuff.

Jace bringing up how having these "baseborns" can decide they want to be "kings" or rulers themselves...and then how these same could present real threats to him even after her death // bringing up Harwin to point out or throw an accusation of her recklessness or lack of care about the future of her kids, i.e., him ("dark hair") ---> idk, could this have been better suited for a day at Dragonstone BEFORE the war? (Jace was never supposed to be so against the idea of these "baseborn" riders as he came up with the idea...once again, prevailing from the idea that their generations-long loyalty as well as the need for numbers...did like Mysaria's advising & reasoning this out to Rhaenyra, but at what cost?) ----> "Yet I may argue my legitimacy to succeed you bc I have a dragon. And now you say you will strip that from me, too"

so finally, motivation: "I cannot gainsay that which the gods lay before me" [Rhaenyra]

Jace's protests; the dragonkeeper's quitting and saying dragons aren't meant to be men's playthings/dragons are the only magic left from Old Valyria/meant only for dragonlord; a "gods Willing" doesn't guarantee that theire will be an end to the bloodshed/war/"privation/starvation" she seeks to end by amassing more dragons to intimidate Aemond/the greens into submission....we are still on this! -> all seem pretty ominous (and are, of course bc we know there will still be war and 2 Seeds will betray her...but now w/this promise of an end to war, etc., now we've given some sort of ammo for that betrayal) -> promises you can't keep bc you keep denying reality -> Condal said it was Emma's idea to walk out amongst the common hopers like "a pastor amongst the flock" // "religious cult"

interesting that the guy who said "they're just meat" in some "awe" at Meleys' head will claim/bond w/a dragon first...