#you cant insult people and then tell them that you're only going to allow them to stay your friends because you dont have any others

[greencloakedfae]

object permanence issues but for emotions is so weird, ngl.

[dimepdf]

★  𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄 '𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃. + 𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐘𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐘

masterlist. / taglist. / any request? synopsis. when you initially asked Neteyam, the eldest Sully son who also happened to be smitten for you, for more assistance with your Na'vi knowledge, he was happy to help with a more hands-on approach.

─── ☆ notes. saw the new avatar and the way i had to pause and react and take in every detail cause it felt so short,, i cant wait for the 3rd movie to come out while im pushing fucking 40 or something with kids. | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

─── ☆ length. 2.8k (21 min read) .

─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni | mutual pining | friends to lovers | fem reader | pwp | porn with feelings | not movie canon | size kink | height difference | stretch marks | body worship | fluffy | confessions | monster fucking(?) | handjobs | fingering | grinding | manhandling | oral sex(f) | cute aftercare | not beta'd | title inspired by this song.

"You can't, Tuk!" Only grumbling at his two most annoying younger siblings who had been following closely behind him, Neteyam dismissed the two in the typical older sibling tone of irritation. 

Both of them were curious, like cats, to find out where he was going when he broke his patrolling routine and made the error of asking both their father and mothers for permission to spend the rest of the day helping you at the labs with your studies that you had been struggling with.

No matter how much he tried to pull both parents aside, at least one sibling had managed to eavesdrop, and then his plans of keeping it on the down low had fallen through like a domino effect. 

This was why Tuk was bouncing on her heels, trailing after her two bickering brothers, Neteyam and Lo'ak. "No fair!" She tantrums, adding to the chattering back and forth, "I want to see y/n too, how come you're the only one that gets to go?" 

With your parents being loyal scientists passionate for a change, standing alongside Jake Sully were a group of good hearted human beings that were allowed to stay on Pandora to live alongside the Na'vi colony. 

Given that you were the second less rogue lab baby, it was the story that set the stage for your loving and extremely intelligent life. 

Maybe it was the fact that you still had your two loving parents, ending up more bubbled and growing up to be more of a homebody constantly wrapped up in some sort of new experiment scattering around the lab despite working with people twice your age. 

Everyone had grown to feel like one big nerdy family within the lab walls. 

Neteyam tightly inhaled with his hand wrapped tight around the leather hand grip from the holster for his Ikran. He was starting to grow thinner and thinner with the patience of telling the little girl every excuse under the sun other than flat out saying that he just wished to spend time with you alone. 

Lo'ak, of course, had been no help in calming Tuk down; his motormouth only added fuel to the flame as he continued to pester him alongside her. 

"He doesn't want us to come so he can finally make a move on his girlfriend." The youngest boy teased. Lo'ak flinched away from his brother's attempt at kicking him in the shoulder with a knowing chuckle, the comment only made Tuk whine more in disgust.

Muttering an insult as he mounted his ride, Neteyam ignored the tightness in his stomach at just the mere mention of your name beside his hinting towards a romantic relationship; it was an odd pretty relationship you had with the eldest son.

“I won't be fawning, I'm just going because she asked me for help with her research.” Neteyam gave his siblings one more stern glare.

“And she's not my girlfriend.” 

Lo’ak doubled in laughter, fuel only added as Neteyam showed more signs of annoyance. “Research? For what, exploring each other's bodies?” Neteyam had only rolled his eyes at the lewd question, taking off just in time for Tuk to ask what the joke had meant. 

Neteyam had been to the labs a handful of times, whether it was to hang out with Spider, accompany Kiri to see her mother, or just keep a close eye on Lo'ak to make sure he would stay out of trouble.

But he felt like this visit was just different from all the others—more intimate, greeting the few familiar faces as you guided him by hand through the lab rooms. Ducking through doorways and crouching through cramped human sized halls to your quarters that had been cleared out for a separate space all to yourself. 

It had been an old rec room redesigned and rearranged to your liking to hold all your personal belongings and decor. What was notable to Neteyam was the lack of boring control panels, odd techy devices, and bland white furniture all over the rest of the lab. 

The usual white and blue alien sleeping pod had been swapped out for a netted hammock similar to the one he would use at home, making your room appear completely disconnected from the rest of the sterile and overly organized aesthetic. 

A long desk piled high with books and paperwork was located across from your resting place next to the hatch entrance door, taking up its own space next to the large window overlooking the forest below the cliff. Your desk served as a clear confirmation to Neteyam that you were as intelligent as you appeared.

To enter Neteyam had to duck down enough to fit under the sliding door frame. As he did so, he peered around your messy bedroom with big curious eyes, soaking up as much information as he could about the space you loved to lock yourself up in all day rather than with him. "Okay, so this is what I've got done so far."

He followed the slight gesture of your hand, following towards the splattered spread of canvas against the once white wall now covered in layers of small paintings and scribbled wordings, but there was once a portrait that had caught his eye the most, a towering blue warrior posed with a bow. 

You had painted him on your wall.

Neteyam exhales as his long fingers run against the textured wall, his ears folding back, expressing his hidden bashful feelings as he comes face to face for the first time with a beautiful mural of himself.

"Ah, don't touch it," The gentle grasp of his elbow draws his attention back to you, "it's still drying, dummy."  

Your entire hand could only manage to wrap around two of his large fingers as you used the bottom hem of your shirt to wipe away the smudged paint on his fingertips, the view allowing Neteyam to look down at you while swallowing at the peak of your midriff.

In a good way, your body was very different from his. In contrast to his towering frame, you were much shorter with skin a warm shade of brown rather than the light sky blue he was used to seeing around.

It was more enticing to Neteyam, you weren't like anyone else he was used to, not even similar to Spider. You were a woman for one, he couldn't help but find himself entranced by you just so soft and plush looking, especially as you stood before him collecting your art supplies from around your bedroom.

He liked the way you always seemed to exude confidence with every step you took. How whenever you were concentrating on a task, your expression would soften, biting at the skin at your lip enough to draw his attention to the shape of your lips.

“Okay, so sit for a moment.”

He does as you say and sits with his legs crossed in front of you while kneeling on the ground. He had managed to have a height difference that reached your collarbone even while he was seated while you stood in front of him. Neteyam felt a bit insecure under your studied, silent gaze, watching your eyes move down his body with an uncomfortable exhale.

It didn't help his anxieties much that you were a more hands on learner, blinking as your hand reached out to caress his face.

A shiver ran up his spine at the gentle brush of your fingers against his cheek. "Your marks are so distinctive, pretty," you complement breathlessly with the trace of your pointing finger against his temple.

His ears twitched, and before he could react, his tail wrapped itself snugly around the middle of your thigh and drew you closer to him.

He murmurs timidly, "Yeah, they're kind of just all over," Before his hands could rest flat on his lap, he gestures while briefly puffing out his chest.

His eyes were looking anywhere but yours, as he was almost close to purring under your gentle touch. He just couldn't trust how his body would react to anything else. It was a mental war, trying not to make it seem as if he was completely gawking at your body.

The lift of your shirt exposed that same part of your stomach that his eyes could only see but his hands longed so desperately to trace. Neteyam’s fingers twitched, making a fist before hesitating in his grasp on your hips, his palm engulfing your sides.

The sight of his thumbs not being able to touch caused him to let out a shaky breath.

You nearly fell over when he suddenly wrapped his strong hands around you. The only thing you noticed was the curious look in his large, yellow eyes that were raking up from your waist as you used his shoulder to help you ground yourself. "Can I see it?" he asks.

You took a moment to process what he was trying to ask before your other hand could instantly cover the pudge of your stomach. "Hm, sure." You finally nod, lifting your shirt just enough to reach the midsection of your torso. 

You had your marks in the form of a scar, a healed claw mark that stretched just below your rib, and a memory of the first time Neteyam nearly saved your life from a rogue Thanator that had wandered too far from its territory. 

His face winced as he tried to push back the dreaded feeling he still would get in his chest thinking back on that horrible day. His fingers stroke against the rough skin, gentle enough as if he were afraid that he would crush you between his fingers by accident.

"I'm sorry," he mutters shamefully. "I let it leave a mark on you." He felt as if he had taken an arrow to the chest, the clench that he felt nicking in his ribs with every flooded memory of having betrayed your parents and his trust by being unable to truly ensure your safety in his hands.

"I told you to stop apologizing. You saved my life, Neteyam." You reassure him, yet he would fail to feel the same way, his fingers continuing down the scar tissue low enough to reach the waistband of your pants. 

Neteyam’s fingers brush more towards your sides, his interest lingering at the hints of stretch marks on the skin of your hips. 

"And what about these?" Foreign were the marks embedded against your hips and the dance of his fingers as they dragged down the jagged lines under them, hidden under the waist of your pants. 

It was a daring request, meeting eyes with a soft gaze that had a flaming heat feel as if it were flowing through his veins. 

Peering down at him with a dark look that made the tug of his tail more inviting, you closed the distance, falling against him with enough reaction time to straddle his waist. “Aren't I the one supposed to be the one studying you?” you whisper 

“I don't mind, go ahead.” Your back arches as you encircle his shoulder with your arms and tuck yourself closer as Neteyam watches how you react. 

His hands had taken the place of his previous grasp on your thighs, his tail wrapped possessively around your midsection. “Ohe think ohe'm keye’ung love.”

The beating in his chest was dangerous, but so was the way you looked at him before your lips could meet.

Neteyam didn't consider himself to be much of a romantic, the closest he had come to experiencing true love was through the example of the close bond his parents shared.

But as he kissed you, suddenly it all just made sense.

When you pulled away, exhaling hard, all he could do was chase after your mouth. The proportions were only a bit off—not too much that either of you had any objections against—as he swallowed each moan and whine that would pull from your throat.

Neither Neteyam nor you have ever kissed anyone before, maybe it was the way it felt so right to just let each other's instincts take over, grasping and tugging each other tightly as if there were any possible way you could get any closer.

Pure lust was what had taken over as Neteyam felt you shiver under his fingertips, the tangle of your hand in his braids had sent a new, inexperienced spark through his body.

Neteyam hissed at the odd feeling that struck him like a wave. "Oh, sorry," you mutter with a lick of your lips, your arms still laced around him.

He hadn't understood what you were apologizing for at first until he had followed your pointed stare to his crotch. 

The feeling that had waved through him was now all too clear as you both glanced shyly at his bulging situation—that you had the guts to reach out and fondle before he could even process how to breathe once more. 

With a sigh of breath, Neteyam practically whines at the contact, too caught up with the pit forming in his lower stomach to feel the embarrassment he would have felt at the pitch of the noises that parted from his lips. 

You readjust yourself in his hold, wincing slightly at the death grip he had on your thighs. The small space you created was enough for you to fully get a better grasp on his length, disregarding the cloth that held his privacy and rubbing your thumb over the dark blue tip of his dick, smearing the precum that he oozed.

Neteyam doesn't know whether he wants to watch or squeeze his eyes shut, his expression pained, yet his body felt everything but. 

His breath was shaky, and his limbs were tensing with each fisted stroke. 

All he could do was tremble and moan as you jerked him off. "Ah, hold on, p–please." As he sagged forward and whimpered, Neteyam attempted to catch his breath.

His sudden deadweight forced you to fall backward onto your back, where you then caught yourself lying beneath him. You followed suit to the small moment of mercy, mostly for your own sake at the dull tiredness in your wrist.

Now that the position had not helped much to ease whatever was building up inside, Neteyam sighed at the newfound feeling of rutting himself against the soft skin of your leg that his dick was pressed against.

Wanting more of the skinship, Neteyam’s hands wandered to whatever they could grab, hearing you giggle slightly from the ticklish sensation. 

It was the guide of your hand wrapping around his wrist, guiding his hand lower past the waistband of your pants. He felt drunk watching the way your expression shifted at just the mere feeling of his long fingers finding just the spot where you needed him most. 

It was an otherworldly sensation that Neteyam was experiencing, feeling you tight around his fingers and pistoning in and out of you at a careful, almost unbearably slow pace with each thrust.

Even as you finished with your tense muscles clenching around him and a broken moan that made him shiver, a noise of encouragement would make him never want to stop praising you.

Once Neteyam got a look at his slick covered fingers, it was like a lightbulb had switched on.

Before you could even process the end of your orgasm, Neteyam had crawled down closer to your legs, leaning down desperately and tugging off your pants. Both of you still found the atmosphere light and comfortable enough to humor each other's eagerness. 

Your laughter faded into small gasps at the strength with which Neteyam had elevated you enough to bury his face into your pussy sitting crouched on his knees as if you weighed absolutely nothing.

The same tongue he used to shyly babble to you with is now showing its true talent as his fingers probe you open the twitch of your hips shift against his mouth, directing him straight to his tongue sucking at your clit. 

It doesn't take much strength for him to hold you in place, your entire lower half is lifted in his grasp, knees bent and held up against his shoulders, and you use your elbows to perch yourself up as your muscles clench from the pleasure of your orgasm.

Neteyam, who hadn't had much of a grasp on the ecstasy of climaxing, continued to suck and finger until you trembled all over and were begging out his name for mercy. 

He was practically boneless, and tears threatened to roll down your cheeks as he finally allowed you to collapse into a heap of putty mess flat on the floor.

You push out your arms lazily, beckoning Neteyam into your embrace as you tug him down to lay on his chest with each other's legs tangled together, panting the same breath. 

It was a comfortable moment of silence, listening to the matched rhythm of each other's heartbeat.

[satellitedarling]

ranting venting

warning its vile

suicide

suicide

suicide

suicidal ideations

no point in opening this unless you're stone hearted or looking to get hurt or feel bad

i had to get it off my chest

knowing that people will see this and judge me helps me right now

i want to make a freak show of myself

so what im feeling, its justified

and all the people I've tried so hard to cater to, to love and befriend

they will look at me in disgust and disgust and disgust

and they'll hate me

like the rotten, sour and most importantly jealous piece of shit i really am inside

and insult me

because that is what i am

that'll do it

ideation loneliness yearning for a saviour you name it

can someone i trust please just come to my home unprompted and without me asking, can they open the door to my room, can they walk towards me despite my silence and sour glare, can they tell me exactly what i need to hear to make my mood start stabilising again, can they hold me close and share their warmth, can they be, if for a few moments, a giant whose shoulders i can use to rest my head. please can they just take over, can they take control, just for a while, conduct my body like an orchestra, tell me exactly what to do, can they give me the freedom of letting go from this constant excessive control i have over the cells of my body, can they hold my waist and make my mind shut up, take that brain of mine and quash its habit of going into concentrated and obsessive spirals of thought that debilitate me and churn my mood for hours. can they tell me its okay. can they tell me that im allowed to let go. that im no machine and that they'll handle things for a while. can i stop being conscious for a while? go on some sort of human auto pilot? go to a small island in greece and disappear without leaving a trace other than my frantic drafts from when i hoped to write a book. let that be the end of me, even if its a let down, even if i could've left a lasting impact on the world, can i refuse to live up to that, can i just let it end here àd reminquish control of my body, let go of the chronic pressure that plagues my overly potent brain

fuck i need a hug, inexistant imaginary savior, dust of the stars compiled, i cant take being tough and independent anymore, no matter how much my friends say they find it admirable, if only they knew what it was like to have no choice but to simply do, if only they knew what it was like to be poor and working class and not living up to your academic potential because you tripped on every pebble on the uneven path to success and then ONLY after waking up at rock bottom getting diagnosed and slowly getting helped with all the things that made your prior academic career a living hell, leaving you in the dust of their achievements, my ultimatum to you, knock on my bedroom door and whisk me away to things better, or let me alone and i will relinquish this control that you could've had to whatever stands between the stars, im done being behind, being inferior, watching everyone get the things i worked so hard for but never got and nearly died over, and to see them enjoy things i have never and might never enjoy simply because they were born in the right place at the right time and with the right people. This is too much misfortune, it would've been one thing to leave it in the past a d get a second chance, but I'm still enduring the aftermath of my first apocalypse, my patience is running thin, and my sensitive heart can't take much more. enough of this

[ceeroosa]

ohhhh lord the straights are poking me today. i must rant.

OK. So. Your husband not magically knowing the exact perfect way to do a thing is NOT WEAPONIZED INCOMPETANCE.

firstly, you have a problem with perfectionism. it's not a cute quirk, it's a trait that causes you A LOT OF GRIEF and disappointment. The solution is not to require everyone around you to also have your unattainably high standards.

The solution is to practice sitting with the discomfort/fear/shame/whatever that arises when something isn't perfect, and eventually seeing the beauty of imperfection.

secondly - let's say you have no interest in dealing with any of what i just said; you like your standards and want to keep them. That's fine, but you still do not have the right to require those around you to a) magically know what your standards are and b) always meet them, especially if they don't have the same standards as you. (many don't)

The solution here is to not ask people to do things unless you're willing to either: explain and show in detail what your standard is and verbally request it be done that way or simply have it not be perfect.

that's it. stop setting your spouse and children (and yourSELF) up for failure by just expecting them to guess and do it perfectly every time. stop demanding that other people have the same expectations as you.

Stop making tiktoks and reels and posts published to the entire world where you shame and insult your husband or child for not being perfect, and allowing others to label them as abusive because they didn't put the stamps or the sheets on the "right way" and how you shouldn't have to ask or tell him how to do it /your way/ (which is not automatically correct) because he should just know.

does weaponized incompetance exist? yes! and it does not fucking look like your spouse just having different standards than you.

it looks like consistently failing to keep track of when your license expires, not renewing it, and then getting tickets so often that your wife just schedules and drives you to get your license renewed every time, so you dont have to worry about it.

it looks like not showing up to pick up your child from school for HOURS, leaving them and the teachers sitting there waiting, over and over again until the SCHOOL ITSELF SAYS "the dad cant pick the kid up anymore, banned, only the other parent because this is awful and not OK" and now you never have to do the school run ever again

it looks like not bathing or changing or supervising your children for the entire week you are their sole carer, so they show up at the family dinner absolutely filthy, and then everyone decides you can't ever be left alone with them again so you never have to be fully responsible for your kids again (but still demand emotional availability from them cuz ur so useless and sad)

it looks like going on a bender and getting so horrifically drunk and acting suicidal ANYTIME someone tries to hold you accountable for anything so that no one ever does because of what you might do

these are all real examples from my real childhood. THIS WAS MY FATHER. HE ACTED LIKE A PATHETIC BABY AND IT EFFECTIVELY REMOVED ALL RESPONSIBILITY IN HIS LIFE, WITHOUT LOSING FREEDOM TO DO THE THINGS HE WANTED TO DO. (until he fought the law and the law beat the absolute shit out of him)

THAT is weaponized incompetance. THAT is emotional abuse.

[omegasmileyface]

im not saying there have never been transfems who have gone around systematically reacting as loudly and victimishly as possible to any complaint from a transmasc, but boy howdy its really not so much of a given that youll get a few of them, is it?

the same way that if you want to build a real safe community space, where tolerance is a social contract, you kick out people who play devil's advocate for nazis or still use the r word as an insult... if you want a real whole-community safe space for trans people, you have to not tolerate people who loudly discriminate against trans women when they express anything they dont like. you have to tell them its not cool, and if they dont change, you have to kick them out — you NEED to prioritize the safety of trans women (not just physical but social and mental) over the comfort of others.

sometimes, when complaining, trans women are going to say things that dont represent you personally, or your friends, or are overgeneralizations or just plain venting. everybody does that (see women saying "ugh i never want to speak to a man again" or retail employees saying "i should be allowed to kill any customer for any reason" or your favorite mutual saying "if i see another skinny white gay guy at this pride parade im gonna take the g out of the acronym") thats life, theyre humans (and typically humans who have been through a hell of a lot). sure, if she actually engages in hate speech or sexual harrassment, and youre sure of it, you dont have to ignore it, even the most oppressed person on earth is capable of harming others. but if someone's reaction to her saying something like that is to become incredibly vocal and public about the flaws in her actions, it's that person you want to watch out for.

(also, you might catch yourself thinking "hmm... wait, that isnt that bad, but if she said something like that, has she also said worse things?" and going to look deeper for other objectionable things. while it's good to keep an eye out for signs that someone in your community might be spreading beliefs that harm people, where does that urge to look deeper come from? youve probably seen enough people dig up dirt on trans women that youve internalized the idea that trans women are more likely to be hiding something. of course youre going to find more objectionable things on the blogs of transfems if they're the only people whose blogs you search for that unless youve seen an explicit dogwhistle. keep an eye out for this thought, it's an insidious and hard-to-spot form of transmisogynist discrimination)

a greater queer community full of trans solidarity across genders and agabs is possible! we are more alike than we are different. however, we are not there already when so many transfems have stories of being excluded, targeted, and harrassed by other members of the community, and you cant get offended by their frustrations with this (just because you and your friends are respectful and business-minding transmascs who are friends with transfems and dont call attention to their flaws doesn't mean those transmascs dont exist enough to be a widespread issue). a community where trans women who let their guard down simply get pushed out of sight for stepping out of line, off to go suffer by themselves, is not a happy and safe one, it just has the appearance of one. same as a resort town for rich white people. just because poors and people who draw attention to them are pushed aside and shoved out of sight so as to not ruin the comfort of the richest, whitest residents is only a facade, so is a trans community with an "out of sight, out of mind" approach to conplaints.

"infighting is a blight on the queer community" means "we need to be able to work together in the face of larger injustice, even over our discomforts and smaller issues" NOT "if you don't sit down and be quiet with issues you face in the queer status quo, you're helping the enemy"

this is all to say, a transfem saying "i dont trust the greater trans community to keep me safe" is not an attack on you, its something to reflect on. a transmasc who claims it is an attack and goes to publically defame her is not behaving in a way that should be acceptable.

a trans woman will say "ive repeatedly had trouble finding comfort and safety in the wider queer community because transmascs have repeatedly used their position of not-a-trans-woman to bring violence and conflict into my life, and it's starting to feel like if i want a place that's an actual source of safety and comfort for me, even if i talk about my own oppression or let my guard down, i cant start by looking in the wider queer community or in places that have few transfems" and then like three incredibly vocal transmascs will say "UMMM why would you say trans men make you feel unsafe? is it becauee youre a faker? a transphobe? A MYSOGYNIST? HEY EVERYBODY!! THIS PRIVILEGED trans WOMAN THINKS ITS OK TO SAY TRANS PEOPLE ARE A THREAT!!! theyre NO better than a CIS BIGOT. how could you POSSIBLY feel threatened by trans men when we've probably all been really accomodating to your amab experiences? with the way you talk i bet you post problematic things. you should kill yourself"

[dreaminginvelaris]

A Response to a Feyre Anti

I made a post recently explaining the dread of having to watch Feyre be abused by her sisters and father, in the Tv adaption. And a Feyre anti made a response, to something that should not be criticized at all considering what I said was just the truth? Feyre was abused. Not only that but they went on and completely twisted the narrative to fit their own ideas and in the process made Feyre out to be cruel and Nesta a saint. complete bull.

I will not be tagging the anti bc they have me blocked (shocker), but also I do not want anyone to go after them, if you come across the post, I don't want it to be through me. it's as much respect I can give to them.

I usually do not respond to those who have something to say with a post of mine or are blatantly talking about me on their blog, unless they're just spreading absolute lies about me or what i "said", it's usually a waste of time to do so. but this post attacked Feyre with outrageous lies and a complete backward interpretation of what actually happened in acotar, so as respectful as I can be, I will be analyzing the anti-response and what truly happened in acotar.

"the audience will only see two sisters fighting-not abuse" "it’s not Nesta you need to worry about. It’s audiences calling Feyre a big dumbass and a bitch" -from anti

if the audience has basic human compassion and empathy for humans IRL or fictional, they will see what's obvious from the start. Feyres abuse. how is it going to look, when they see Feyre walking through the woods, shaking from the cold, starving from hunger, and struggling to find food for her family? only to later see Nesta's treatment of Feyre?"

in the anti's post, they said Feyre was just as "heinous" to Nesta.

is Feyre the one calling Nesta a pig? a smelly pig? ordering her to take her clothes off?

no, it's not, it's dear Nesta. the text goes as "I took my time, swallowing the words I wanted to bark at her" oh yes... how cruel of Feyre. how heinous of Feyre to...stay quiet... at the verbal abuse.

in the same image we see Feyre ask Nesta to do something (kindly might I add) and then inquire why she didn't chop wood like she needs to.

what does Nesta do? acts like a brat and insults Feyre...once again.

considering I'm going off by the story and not the actual screenplay, and assuming they stay true to the story; will the audience not be disgusted by Nesta's behavior? I mean they just saw Feyre struggle to find food and they expect Feyre to go home to a family happy and appreciative of Feyre but instead, they get this familial abuse.

the anti said Feyre basically tells Nesta this:

"If you keep bitching at everyone like this no one will want to be around you or you can’t marry this guy because you’re a waste of space to me"

but what do we see?

"Believe me... the day you want to marry someone worthy, I'll march up to his house and hand you over. But you're not going to marry Tomas."

the word worthy, did that not catch your eye? Feyre said Nesta will have to marry someone worthy, someone, who will treat Nesta kindly and give her the life Feyre thinks her sisters deserve. bc Feyre does think that IDK why anti feyres think Feyre despised Nesta so much, Feyre loved her sisters.

what the anti fails to realize here is that Nesta marrying Tomas would have been actually pretty great for Feyre. in the sense that, Feyre would no longer carry the burden of her sister. Feyre would not have to worry about feeding one more mouth. or worrying about Nesta's constant stealing of Feyre's money. Feyre does not think Nesta is a "waste of space" to her, if she did, it would have been easy for Feyre to discard Nesta, and allow her to marry Tomas. the anti has that twisted.

but that is not even the worst part of the scene. did you see the shameless slut-shaming that came out of Nesta's mouth? how will the audience take to that? do you think most of the younger generation will take it lightly to see a sister slut-shame a sister? a woman putting down another woman? in this social climate? where the feminism movement is alive and flourishing. will they be okay with it? will they still blame Feyre and be mad at her the way the anti says they will be? I hope not otherwise I'm losing faith in humanity.

Lovely words Nesta spews at Feyre. I admit Feyre should have told her then and there that Tomas is abusive. but let's think: Feyre is 19 years old, the youngest, has never had any raising by a parental figure, has been neglected by her whole family, where would Feyre learn to calmly talk to an overgrown brat like Nesta? Feyre telling Nesta who Tomas truly is the duty of a parent, not a sister. I will not condemn Feyre for not knowing that was the perfect time to tell Nesta who Tomas is. especially when Feyre is being tormented and verbally/emotionally abused, its kinda hard to think about something else while you're being told all these horrible words. to us its easy to see where Feyre went wrong but unless you're in the exact position Feyre was in. no one has any room to talk. and even then, every person is different in situations like these.

this part was me analyzing the interactions between Feyre and Nesta since anti had reasons to believe Feyre was just as bad to Nesta and that the audience would see that and hate Feyre. I am now going to respond to the second part of the Feyre Anti's response.

"How will an audience of non-fans react to her not reaching out to her family to tell them she was okay after the reconciliation between her and Nesta? Or not inviting them to the wedding?"- from anti

moving onto acomaf now.

Idk maybe the audience will see Feyre, a depressed, lonely, individual in an abusive relationship while being manipulated by other individuals she called friends, and understand and empathize with her. all throughout the beginning and half of acomaf, Feyre is in critical depression. she wholeheartedly believes she should not be alive. that she is not worthy. she doesn't eat, all she does is sleep, self-care is not important to her or others so why would letting a family know she's okay, a family who BARELY ever cared about her, be a priority? it doesn't seem like Nesta or elain or her father was really fazed by Feyre's lack of communication. her father left on a trip, elain got engaged and Nesta, well we didn't see a tearful welcoming to Feyre on Nesta's part did we?

anti, where is the outcry of her "family" not even really caring if Feyre was safe or not, of what happened to her? it's not like they thought she had died, otherwise, where was the mourning or funeral? no, they just didn't care.

see this is where I know when anti is just full of bullshit. why, WHY, would Feyre invite her family to wedding full of fae? the creatures elain and Nesta fear and hate? for all the talk many anti's spew about Feyre being inconsiderate to Nesta, to her family, you would think Feyre maybe just knows a fae wedding would be the last thing they would want? even then, does Feyre owe them an invitation to her wedding? does she owe them an update on her life? nope. Feyre owed them nothing.

"How about her shit-talking Nesta to a bunch of strangers then having the audacity to ask her to get involved in a war. Oh! This is after she comes into her house and insults their hospitality." - from anti

I hardly think Feyre confiding in individuals who she learned to care about and laying out all the trauma Feyre endured with her family is "shit-talking" but for argument's sake, let's say it is. I still don't see what's wrong? after years of pent-up anger and hurt, would you not let go of everything you withheld inside and explain what was done to you? how you felt? Feyre telling the IC her life story, which contains Nesta's abuse and her family's neglect, was a form of therapy for Feyre. I never read a line where Feyre calls Nesta a "cold-hearted bitch" or called elain "a lazy ditz" she just said the truth. no added embellishments. Cassian was the one who shit-talked Nesta during the dinner scene, never Feyre.

I still don't understand why antis are so against Feyre asking her sisters for help? like the war didn't involve them? they're humans, and you know what the war was about? Hybern wanting to take control of the human lands like they once did and turn them into slaves. those humans included Nesta and elain.

"They could have left the continent" correct, except elain was engaged and refused to leave Grayson. which meant Nesta refused to leave elain. but even so, isn't it the duty of humans to band together and work to overthrow a race of people who want to torture and keep them as slaves? the queens certainly weren't doing their jobs. Feyre asked to use "their" house to meet the queens bc where else would they do it? the queens trust the fae less than Nesta or elain did. but even so, Feyre asking to use their house was a courtesy, that house is rightfully Feyre's. she is the one who sacrificed herself to leave with Tamlin. she did it bravely, courageously, and they got that house thanks to her. they owed Feyre everything. and the only one who acknowledged that was Elain.

that war involved elain and Nesta whether they or Feyre or the anti's liked it or not. not even considering that Nesta and elain are Feyre Archerons sisters, yeah, their family name alone puts a target on their back.

How did Feyre or the court insult Elain's and Nesta's hospitality? You mean when Feyre realized human food differed from fae food? something she did not know about bc she's barely been turned to fae and only had eaten fae dishes? Feyre's grimace towards the human food was an involuntary reaction to someone who is still learning their new body. or was it when Cassian called out Nesta for her cold treatment towards Feyre? if that's the case then fuck decency, I would call out a fake bitch in my presence from minute one. you cant call what Nesta did "hospitality" when all she did was insult Feyre when she didn't even care that Feyre had died, or lost her love bc of abuse, or that her body was changed against her will.

hospitality: the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.

did y'all read something different bc this for sure was nothing Nesta gave to her guests?

----

the rest of the anti post moves towards Rhysand and his actions UTM which I won't go into because I'm mainly just addressing the false interpretations this anti had to say about Feyre and her family.

I'm not sure how to sign off now lol, but I guess just that I hope this was enough to show how this anti's arguments were completely ludicrous and have absolutely no compassion for Feyre, and instead all the compassion for Feyre's abusers. This anti had a real spin on what the actual story was, and I hope the evidence I provided was enough to show that. Anyways yeah my brain is fried, and I'm done arguing with Feyre anti's for a while now, I need to go praise my queen Feyre so I can receive some semblance of peace.

anyways, stan Feyre for clear skin xx

[xanaxlollipop]

I am wondering if you are aware about codependency. The excessive emotional reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support.

I became codependent to my now ex boyfriend . He is a drug addict , that's why . We've been together for 3 years . I broke up with him a few months ago but i still cant let go . It's not easy for me to let go of people in my life generally . I feel like i " abadon " them ( if that helps ) .

He has narcissistic personality traits and I've read that both codependents and narcissists have abandonment fears . I cant bear to hurt him in any way and I cant let go no matter how harmful it gets for me. I try not to meet with him but I constantly chat with him or talk on the phone with him . If i dont answer ( probably because im sleeping ) , he insults me , threatens me and abuses me in different ways .

The first step is to acknowledge there's a problem . So I did ! I dont know what the next step is and mostly I dont know how to finally and completely let go .

Thanks in advance

Oh me oh my...Let me channel my inner Mrs. Mariella...

Hello, yes...I am well aware of what codependency is. I gotta correct you on something tho, people with narcissistic personality traits, don't fear the abandonment the same way people with codependent personality traits do.

The first type of people fear abandonment because they loose A person who fills up their ego. The second type of people fear abandonment of THE person they love because they think either that they're not worthy of love from anyone and THAT person is the only one who could ever love them, or they.

See the subtle difference? To you he might be the only one, to them you're just one of those who can provide source of self gratification/sense of power etc.

So, the second step is giving yourself the worth you deserve, not the one he told you that you have. It's not your job to fix him (or anyone), you're not abandoning him, you're choosing something that doesn't hurt you. And you have the right to do so.

Also I'm sorry to let you know but EVERYTHING you'll ever do in your life will hurt someone, including YOU. Take what you need from this...

I know it's not for everyone to cut people bluntly out of their life. I'm not going to tell you what's best for you, you're the only one who knows that.

So if you want to keep hearing from him at least do it at your terms, with some healthy boundaries you decide the amount of:

psychological resources (example: "i don't have the resources to face this conversation right now")

time (example: "I'm busy until 6pm"/ you talk to him from 7pm to 8pm/ do not reply on Sunday)

info about your life

you want to share with him...and you're

ESPECIALLY

allowed to choose the tone of the conversation you're having. You are allowed to stop responding, block him, tell him that you're not going to respond if he's abusing you in any way.

You might be there to listen, but you're not there to tolerate disrespect nor to fix his shit ✨

Hope this helps.

Good luck with your second step and all of the steps you're going to do after that one. You did great with recognizing the problem, don't be afraid of people being mad at you. And don't be afraid to deal with your own frustration of people being mad at you!

Remember that people can get mad over stupid things like...the color of a dress (if you get the reference we're bff now). "Tolerance for frustration" when others upset you... is something we learn as kids, if you or other people did not attend that class, it's time to sign up for an evening course.

You can do this 💙

[taones]

𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐍𝐒//𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

Pairing: tanka x gender neutral!reader (afab)

Note: Its 1am this probably sucks

Warnings: Smut (duh), mentions of public sex

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

tanaka is the sweetest and you cannot change my mind that he is touch starved. therefore, aftercare is the perfect opportunity for him to cuddle you and tell you how good you did or the other way round, depending on your preferred dynamics. If he's doing the aftercare, he always has a sports drink next to the bed for you and makes sure you drink it and have come down from your high before he drags you into the shower with him.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

It's his abs. Not to be predictable but they're something he worked hard on and it definitely payed off, so what if he likes seeing the look on your face when you see them?

Ryu is an ass man through and through, he matter the size his hands are all over that thing. Even when you're making out his hands are squeezing and rubbing your ass like it's his personal treasure.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He is lowkey a messy person when it comes to cum, yours or his. He likes yours all over his face and in his mouth sk he can taste you. However, he prefers his to be over your ass or the back of your thighs if he isn't allowed to come inside you (his first choice).

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He kinda likes pain. It isnt really a dirty secret cause it takes him a while to notice but he can't help but shiver and moan when you scratch your nails down his back or bite his neck to muffle your moans. Tanaka even likes pressing down on them to feel some pain when he gets off.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like he has a decent amount of experience maybe a couple of other people but he does research this kinda stuff and tries his best to adhere to any feedback you give him.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Any position he can see your ass in. Just the visual of his hips hitting your ass and it jiggling could make him come so he prefers reverse cowgirl etc. Not picky though, hes Tanaka.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I feel like its 50/50 with Ryu. He could totally go for giggly sex and a lot of the time it is. If you start laughing about something he'll join in and he even laughs at himself a lot during it too. However, if hes super worked up then it's all about ramming you/getting rammed into the mattress and giggles can come during aftercare thanks.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He probably shaves. If it's not almost completely hairless then it's very well groomed and kept short. Couldn't care less about your body hair, he just doesn't like it on him.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

When he really gets into it, especially when hes about to finish, he gives out more and more praise. This can range from complimenting your body and making lewd comments to straight up repeating goes much he loves you. Apart from that, hes fairly romantic but not really if you get me. He'll praise you but he isnt exactly laying out verbal rose petals.

J = Jerk Off (How often, what are they thinking about, …)

Hes a horny bastard, he jerks off a lot. With your permission, he probably has some photos saved of you that he uses to get off and if not he has plenty of memories of you that he can use as inspiration.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I firmly believe he is up to trying anything at least once. However, does have a thing for quite literally fucking you stupid. The whole eyes unfocused, drooling and unable to say anything but his name makes him hard just at the thought.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere and everywhere. Has literally no shame but hes a little possessive so, if you're doing in in public, he's making sure nobody can see you because that's his and his only to look at. This being said, he has a thing for shower sex. The way the water flows down your body makes sure that he is at least a little hard and you can't really take a shower together without it ended with probably a blow job.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When you wear certain clothes. For example if you're wearing something tight or short he can't help but oggle a lot. God forbid you decided to wear some of his clothes or walk around in nothing but his tshirt and underwear. Tanaka really won't be able to control himself.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Like nasty degradation. He doesn't like anything that could potentially emotionally hurt you, even if you like it. Insulting you, sexual or not, will always leave him with a feeling of guilt and he just can't carry on with whatever you guys were doing

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Now, he likes getting his dick sucked cause duh. However, he lives for giving you oral. Tanaka can and will be between your legs all day if he could and this means face sitting is an amazing experience. His skills are nothing to blink at either, be can get you to be a moaning mess within seconds and he probably gets a couple of piercings just to make that experience better for you.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

With the exception of when you're upset, Tanaka is usually fast and rough. He cant help himself, sometimes you're just too hot and he always fucks you like there's no tomorrow.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He is up for anything, like I said earlier. Plus he's very easily turned on so quickies are a fairly normal thing for you guys, they're not his favourite though because he tends to prefer a lot of rounds.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Like I said before, hes up for anything once. If you want him to do it, he'll probably give it a go! Risks are a thing he's willing to take as long as you're comfortable with it.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

His stamina is no joke. Seriously, he can go for a good 3 rounds before he even starts getting tired. Most of the time, you come more times than him cause you're the main focus so he tries to limit the amount of rounds for you two.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Very basic toys like a vibrator and a pair of handcuffs for either of you. Most of your guys sex isnt actually pre planned so the handcuffs are more common than other toys but he enjoys when he gets to bring them out.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Little shit thinks it's funny to pull away to 'stretch' just when you're about to come. He is in this mainly for your pleasure but he can't help but rile you up sometimes and get you whining.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I'd say hes relitavely loud. Loud enough that public sex isn't often but not loud enough for that many noise complaints from the neighbours. He can't help but get caught up and start spewing dirty talk in your ear between grunts and low pitched moans and your response usually increases his volume a little.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Let him leave hickey hearts on you! Seriously, he has a thing for it and likes seeing them when you get changed in front of him. It's like a weird possession thing or maybe he just thinks it's cute, who knows.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I'd say he's slightly bigger than average in length and has a good girth for him. His dick has a few prominent veins that are sensitive.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Higher than average, definitely. Can and will have you every single night if you let him, even after a long day.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I feel like he gets kinda hungry after sex and his aftercare is kinda long. After your shower, he probably makes a sandwich or something, eats it and comes back to bed after. Might spend a little time talking to you before he's out like a light.

Tumblr mobile likes to be annoying so sorry for any spelling mistakes! Requests are open and enjoy

[queenoftheworldisdead]

Unbetrothed

Summary: Let me just say I am an American with no idea of how royal hierarchies work. Just made something up.

Governors are basically kings of the states they run with their own armies and mayors are dukes. Women are not allowed to work, only marry.

Dark MCU royal AU [but not really grey at best]

Sam Wilson x reader, dark Thor x reader [not really i don’t think. more like grey Thor]

Warning: attempted suicide, sex

----

"She's old Margret" your father huffed.

"Dear no I think you're being harsh" your mother defended.

You sat in the kitchen peeling potatoes for tonight’s dinner as you listened to him complain.

"I most certainly am not! She is old. Way past her prime. Am I supposed to work myself to death to  support her?" He grumbled.

"Her brothers have long sense left this house. Started families of their own. Making their own way about the world."

"Dear they are men. Made to labor. What would you have her do? You refused her education. She has little options"

Women were with few exception not allowed to work. If you were not aiming to be a nurse, maid, or teacher. Most girls stopped their education after they learned to read or their parents stopped paying for tuition.

"Well, I would have assumed she would have been long sense married by now. What would be the point in wasting the money on education?"

He would often complain after doing his monthly expenses. Paying for the loan on the house, paying to feed himself and his wife, but the extra cost of the spare mouth of a daughter drove him up the wall. He actually calculated how much extra money he would have if you were not there draining his savings. As if it would by him a cottage on a beach in the state.

A popper he was not but a frugal bastard he was indeed. Only spending extra if he could come out ahead in the end.

It was like this most days, the only time it wasn't were when your father stayed out to drink. Pouring his sorrows into a pint and from your mothers presumption whores.

"Joseph, from work, told me that the Governor's having a ball. Says that his son told him that they send all the army boys there, most bachelors the lot of them. You know those army folks are quick to wed." He told your mother. He had planned this out thoroughly it would seem. "Lets put some lipstick on this pig and send her off"

"She is not a cow you sell at market!" Your mother was outraged out the notion.

"Well Moo Moo Margret. She is going. If she doesn't find a suitor then she is out on the streets. Have the state worry for her."

"Dear you cant mean that. She is our blood." Your mother would do nothing more than speak of her disapproval.

"It's my mother's fault." He said as he walked to his favorite sitting chair. "She was a bit misshapen. Got her damn jeans from me. Swear if she didn't look like her I would deny her my name" your mother gasped loudly at the insult.

"She tried to marry the Wilson boy and you denied her! Now look at him, second in command of the states army."

"Well, I thought when she...uh" he paused to find the right word to say. "Bloomed she would bring better prospects."

When you were 14 you fell in love with Sam Wilson and he with you. Children of the same age, same culture and you two had become fast friends. He had always made you laugh and it was not uncommon to be betrothed at such a young age.

One day while playing by the creek he had pushed you against the old oak tree and kissed you. So innocent and sweet, but it only lasted a fraction of a second. You had stared at him with your eyes wide with shock and surprise.

"Y/N I love you. Marry me?" He had no ring just a wild daffodil half ruined from being hid within his pants pocket. You had hugged him so tight he teased that you almost broke his bones. You had loved him for ages and to have your best friend love you back was truly a delight any girl could ask for.

The day felt like a dream as you two lay in the field and talked of your future. How many children, where the house should be, what the wedding would be like. You hadn't even noticed that the sun was setting as the euphoria of your love took over.

Kissing him on the cheek with a promise to meet again tomorrow you rushed home. With a smile that would not falter.

"Mom! Mom!" You burst through the door.

"What is it girl? You're so loud. What is it?"

"Sam! He asked me to be his wife!" Barely able to catch your breath as you retell the events.

Your mother's sweet smile showed of her approval in the union. The excitement of telling your father made the hands on the clock drag. When you saw the cart finally drop him off you exploded through the door and rushed to tell him your joyous news.

But your joy was short lived. Sam's family was not the status that he wanted for you. He gambled that when you were to hit puberty you would attract hire quality suitors. To hedged his bets he pulled you from school and refused you out to see Sam.

The decision crushing you completely, your home had become your prison for over a decade. Only allowing out into the world to join your mother for her weekly shopping.

He broke you back then and thought nothing of it. Unmoved by your constant tears and sorrow. Eventually you cared not for the fancy things in life. Your hair unkept, your clothes unpressed and makeup was as foreign to you as the neighboring states. Your mother would often scold you for not putting out your best as to catch the eyes of a suitor. But what was the point?

You lived only in the fading memories of Sam. Replaying ways to have made things different. Your mother took pity allowing you stationary upon which to write. Sending him love letters, but sadly with no replies.

"Well I buying her a ticket to the governors ball. We have enough for a decent enough dress so get her ready." Plopping down he opened his smoking box to take out his pipe. Lighting it up with long puff signaling to your mother that the final word had been spoken.

Your mother with your fathers pocket book went all out. When he saw the receipts he almost had a stroke. He swore never again to make that mistake with your mother again.

Your hair, makeup and dress were all done for the affair. When she showed you the results in the mirror before you left with your father you swore someone had bewitched the mirror.

When you two arrived at the Governors estate your father pushed you to mingle. But you had not the heart for music and fun. Walking aimlessly about the crowded event until you spotted him.

It couldn't be could it?

Walking up to the man you presumed to be your long lost love you call out.

"Sam?"

It was him, adorn in his formal military uniform.

"Y/N?"

Your heart felt like it beat for the first time in ages. Swelling with joy tears almost fell from your eyes at the sight of your long lost love.

You hugged him instantly, but it took a moment before his arms reciprocated the gesture.

"I always wondered what happened to you. I even went to your house but I was always turned away"

"It was all my fathers doing. Did you receive my letters? My mother made sure to mail them daily, but I never got word back."

Even through your despair you had never stopped writing. Everyday even when your mind tried to insert logic you still wrote. You could barely spell and your mother was of no use in that matter, but that did not stop you.

"What letters?" He was at a loss and that is when your heart began to hurt a little at the betrayal of you're only ally.

Every shopping day your mother would buy you the most gorgeous letter paper to write to him with, only to never send them. But why?

"I wrote to you every day Sam I swear it" you were in denial. She wouldn't have done that. No never her. Not your mother.

"Honey who is this?" A beautiful woman appeared from his side.

"This is an old friend. Wanda this is Y/N"

She was so striking and much younger than you. "Oh hello he talks much about his youth here in this state, but I'm sorry I don't recall you." You could see her trying to recall a memory and even with the scrunch of her brow she was a sight.

What would you say to her? That you were his first love, first kiss, that he had proposed to you. That you still had the daffodil he gave. Now pressed in the holy book on the page that would have held your vows.

"I.." You looked at him. His smile was for her now. You were nothing, but a ghost playing among the living. "I went to school with him when I was much younger, but never completed." She smiled at you so pure and overflowing with love for him that it made you sick, but you forced yourself to mirror her.

"Well it was nice meeting you, Y/N.." She said through the loud music."but if you will excuse me I would love to dance with my fiancé." Pulling him away. As they departed what was left of your heart felt as if it had rolled in glass.

Every breath brought a pain and as your vision began to blur you saw your father approached with that look. That look that you had not the energy to deal with. So you took off. Walking swiftly through the crowded ballroom zigging and zagging not knowing where to go. You were boiling over, but you didn't want the world to see. For Sam to see.

As you scanned the massive room filled with people you spot a staircase that wrapped along the wall. You don't know why you went to it, but you did. Ascending the stairs as quickly as you could in your full dress. Tripping only twice on the petty coat underneath, but still able to stand up right. There were fewer people on this level, each in their own conversation of this or that. Taking a deep breath you decide to turn left. Passing awkwardly by the smaller groups of people before stopping at the door at the end of the hall.

The massive wooden door was unlocked when you tried the handle. Pushing it open you could see no lights. Entering the darkness of the room, the blackness poured over you then the tears fall before you could close it behind you. With your back pressed to it you slid down the door and on to the floor. The sound of the booming music from the band hiding you're sobbing from the world.

As you cried you felt the cold breeze of the night prickle your skin. Looking you see the sheer curtain dance in the wind the color of the moon light giving it a soft ghostly hue. Standing up you walked to it. Opening the curtain you found the window to actually be a small balcony.

Walking out to the banister at the end you stare up at the moon and the sight of it filled you with loneliness. A small part of you had held out hope that Sam still loved you, would come for you and you two would live out those childhood wishes from long ago. But he wasn't and your father would surely be tossing you out by the morrow.

You didn't know how, but somehow you had climbed over the railing. Staring at the earth below.

What was the point? You couldn't work, too old to marry. Born to be nothing.

"You shouldn't be here." A voice came out from behind the ghostly veil.

Turning your head you look back to see, but when you spotted him you only stared through him.

Holding on to the steel frame of the balcony you lean forward. Hoping that when you fall and kiss the ground that the pain would be swift. So you let go.

"No you don't"

He was fast. Catching your wrist before you descended. Looking up at him you could see him clearly now. The strain on his face had his veins busting through his flesh as he pulls you back up and over the banister.

He had pulled you so hard that he lost balance and landed on the  floor with you on top of him.

Pushing yourself off his chest you straddled him. Your dress almost swallowing him whole. When he sat up he rubbed the back of his head and hissed. As he straightened himself, his height could not be ignored.

"Are you mad wo.." His words were cut off by the crashing of your lips to his. You just pressed them hard into his, your eyes shut tight as your fingers clasped the fabric of his formal uniform.

His hands came on to your shoulders and pushed you back. "They had told me these events were to be a prudish affair. Had I known women of this state were made of fire we would have united our states long ago." His strange accent had you gawking at him.

Your eyes fell to his uniform, the colors were all wrong. It was not of your state's formal wear, but anothers.

He kissed you this time, his tongue tickled your bottom lip the sudden wetness of it made you gasp and he took that opportunity to invade. Yours sat frozen in your mouth bewildered by the intrusion.

When his hands fell on your hip you yelped in his mouth. "Move for me" he said as his hands guided you back and forth on his lap. The friction of his pants on your bloomers was delightful. Moaning in his mouth your eyes shot open wide. Embarrassed by the foreign noise, but the man only chuckled on your lips.

Your hands released his clothes and wrapped around his neck. When he bit your bottom lip you bit his, when his tongue flicked yours you flicked his in turn. You let him guide you to every move. His hands fell from your hip, but you still kept the pace as the warm fuzziness of the feeling building in your core wanted more.

Placing his arms on your back he pushed you backwards on to the  cold balcony floor while never breaking his kiss. Your heart beat hard in your chest as you felt him press you into the unforgiving floor with your dress the only bit of comfort to it.

He pulled away again making you whimper. His smile looked so devilish as he stared down at you. "Your pure aren't you girl."

Your ears felt hot as his eyes looked upon you. "Yes" it came out almost as a whisper.

He bit his lip almost fighting off a bigger grin. Moving his hands from your back one hand glided atop your dress. Grazing both breasts before hooking his in it. Pulling the fabric down allowing your breast to bounce free in the night air. His warm palm overtaking the circumference of one breast filling your body with more fire.

Bending down you closed your eyes to receive a kiss, but it never came. His wet mouth latched onto your exposed bosom, making you pant. The flicking of his tongue drove you mad with wanting. His soft lips kissed each breast before sucking your nipple into his mouth. "Your flesh is sweeter than any honey I've ever tasted." His rugged voice sent you soaring to the heavens.

Bunching up your dress his hand moved slowly up your thigh. Stopping at your bloomers. "What do you want little dove?" He looked down at you again. Waiting for your answer.

Was this what Sam does to Wanda?

For whatever reason your mind could not picture him this way. So your mind drifted, thinking of the women of the night. The women that lived for the night as you are now. Your mother had spoke often about loose women. Whores she would call them. Good for nothings seen as no more than the corrupters of men souls. That’s why she never blamed your father for his misdeeds. You wanted to be a corrupter of men, to hold a power over them. Seeing as giving them power had brought you no joy in this world.

"I want to be a whore" at your words his smile dropped and a hunger unfamiliar to you grew upon his face.

Hurriedly pulling your bloomers down you could hear a growl from him. As if by the moon he would change into a wolf right before your eyes. His focus strayed from you but for only a brief moment as he fiddled with his own attire.

He lay between your spread legs poking at your muff with a rod harder than the floor that ached your back. "Then my whore you shall be" without another word he forced himself into you.

The pain and discomfort had you screaming into the night. Pushing him off, but he held steadfast deep in you up to his hilt. Tears prickled your eyes as the pain felt unbearable. Lifting your legs onto his shoulder allowed him deeper still and you felt too full.

"Please sir it hurts" you hissed. Your eyes pleading up at him.

"Not for long my dove" His hips slammed against you with such forced that you tried to crawl backwards away. But with his hands on your shoulder he locked you in place. Each time his hips slapped yours it sent jolts throughout your body.

Your mewls mixing with his groans while the music played from the ball down stairs. "It hurts!" Your voice quakes as he continued his punishing thrust. Your breasts jerking harshly from his movements while your legs try and force him off, but he went on undeterred.

"My..dove.. sing for me" and you did with every thrust.

Your back arched off the unforgiving ground as you felt your cunt stretched beyond its limits to receive him. Your nails dragged along his coat sleeves, snagging on badges here and there.

The pain of him faded into a wave of ecstasy. "More please" you panted.

"Does..my..dove..love.. my..cock" he teased as he watched your face transform from pain to pleasure. Hitting your core harder with each word, moaning deeply as he filled you.

"Mmm so-so good." You moaned. The pressure from him electrified your whole body. You could feel every inch of him and you wanted more.

"A whore..only for...me" he groaned. His chest pressed into your legs as his movements grew wilder. Your body felt a buzz, your flower so alive, clenching feverishly around him. His member started twitching, flexing inside of you and filling you with more warmth and wetness.

"Such a good little dove" he praised.

When he stopped he gave your lips one last kiss before falling over to your side. Your legs flopped to the floor landing with a thud shaking like a leaf in the wind. Turning your head to him, you examined the glistening features of his face.

"Who are you?" You panted out half exhausted.

As he began to speak the door creaked open in the distance.

"Y/N!" Your fathers voice shouted out. You sat up with a cold splash of reality hitting you.

When your father came into the room he had only seen the aftermath. A compromising position that sent him into a tizzy. Racing over to you he grabbed your for arm pulling you from your savior.

Pulling up your top and cleaning off your dress you prayed he had not noticed your very bare chest in the confusion.

"What are you doing who is that?" He roared furiously. "Speak"

*Smack

His slap faded into the nights air. He must be getting older, much more older than you thought him to be. His strikes barely fazed you now, but you held your face as if it still held the same power as they used to have.

"What were you thinking you stupid girl? Your chastity is you're only saving grace." He was furious. "I can't believe my own daughter a whore."

"Ah heeeehhhmmmm" the stranger cleared his throat behind you. His height towering over you and your father.

"Excuse me sir, but in my state we do not take Kindly to the striking of innocent women."

"And who are you to speak to me in such a ways army boy?"

"I'm lieutenant Governor Thor Odinson of the Asgardian state. New allies of your Governor's state."

Your father's eyes widened in shock as did yours.

"We were just admiring the constellations as we are ought to do in my state. Isn't that right milady?"

Your father looked to you to answer while Thor shot you a knowing wink.

"Well if you would excuse her intrusion sir, but she is supposed to be finding a suitor not laying about star gazing" he spoke nervously.

Pulling you out of the room by your arm as Thor faded into the darkness.

"What happened to your face girl you look a sight?" He said annoyed. "Go to the mirror and fix yourself" he pointed to a mirror along the wall right before the entrance to the room. "Had someone else spotted you, you would have been thought a harlot for sure" he huffed.

Hurrying away you rush to the mirror all the while you felt Thor's seed snake down your leg.

[atiny-piratequeen]

We need to talk

So. Good morning, good evening, whatever time of day it is. Im here to have a nice little chat about readers sending in requests and the general...entitlement that sometimes comes from readers.

So we writers who have requests open, sometimes we have funky little guidelines. What we will write, what we won't write. If you're going to come to someone who takes requests and has their guidelines right in their bio or mlist, you owe us the common courtesy to read the guidelines. Some of these writers do not sit and take time to type up these lists of dos and don'ts for 3+ people a day to pretend they can't read guidelines posts and fling around requests anyway.

If you're unsure about guidelines, or a person doesn't it have it available in the bio, ask first.

Now. That was a little extra. Im here specifically to talk about the severe entitlement some of you feel when it comes to how soon things come out around these parts. With her permission, Shea (@yeomjoo) has allowed me to use her sc of a person who requested she write something for them.

As she is a college student with college life things(tm), as well as a queue of people before this person, she told them around the timeframe it would take to write it (around the end of march-ish)

I want you all to know this behavior is fucking

Unacceptable

We writers work through a lot of shit sometimes. Grieving, physical/mental/emotional illness, balancing writing updates between work and/or school, basic life, etc.

If you have to fucking wait for something someone is giving you for free. (Bc lets be real here, even with writers with kofis, how many of you actually buy one or two? I personally have been blessed by some friends of mine helping support me with kofis along the way and it means the world but I've also seen other writers who have said their kofis are there in their bio untouched for months) You are the reader asking us for something. If we say yes to it, it may take time for us to finish it.

Especially if we're taking requests. Do you know how many people send requests when they see they're open on people's blogs? There are people in front of you! Be patient!

Especially if we're writing other works. Balancing writing story driven works between smaller requests is difficult sometimes. Honestly, many authors will prioritize the story first and do the requests later. Be paitient!

ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE BUSY ASS LIVES WITH SCHOOLWORK OR JOBS. NONE of yall out here are playing sugar parents, so I know damn well if someone ended up failing an important test or getting fired from their jobs because they prioritized writing this fanfic over doing what needed to be done in their lives first, none of yall who pushed them are gonna step up with nothing other than a "oh that sucks, when are you posting?" Or pretending you cant read the part where they say they're struggling.

This includes some of yall who have the audacity to attack authors (usually on anon like cowards) for not updating the specific fic you want, while they post others.

Some of yall are downright disgusting when it comes to how you treat us writers. Ive seen people insult, belittle, bully, harass writers for not writing the work they want WHEN they want it.

Go write it yourself if you need it in a deadline???? If its not a request and its on original work, sorry dog, you gonna have to fucking wait.

We are people, not machines. You do not get to crack a whip at us and tell us to type for your amusement when you want to and how fast you want to. We have lives to live, some more busy than others.

At the end of the day, 98% of these asks, these ~requests~ are not commissions. You're asking us to do this shit for you for free. Have some fucking paitience and respect. Idk who handed you life on a silver platter whenever you stomped your feet and got bitchy with them but thats not how it works in the real world. Grow the fuck up and treat people with respect. Especially if you're asking them for something.

Thats it. Its only by the grace of hindsight that I don't say who that person is (not with the intention of people attacking them, but for other writers to know to avoid this kind of person and keep them out of dms, but i know some people see a url and run with it so I'm leaving their url out of this, but if you see this, know that you're wrong as fuck and I hope someone humbles you soon.)

Dont be that person. Dont be the people insulting writers for when they get updates out. Dont be the person to insult someone's writing skill and belittle them. If you've got the time to antagonize writers, you can learn how to write your damn self.

Be better than this. Thanks.

[marshmallowprotection]

Oh my gosh she would definitely refuse to acccept her and Saeyoung being similar. Because as much as they would get along in some aspects, she's also very hotheaded and sometimes Saeyoung would definitely remind her of one her coworkers (who i came up with like two weeks before i got into mysme, so when i saw how Seven was i was like :0)

Jeth-TEN is similar only to Saeyoung's mischievious/sadistic side; Jeth doesn't have some depressing backstory, and its not a mask (though that's not to say he cant be serious or that he's shallow... i think u get what i mean). Jeth is also a lot more... shark-like, if you will. That's how I like to describe his grin, at least; whilst with Saeyoung, I prefer "wolfish." Jeth is bit more intense and pushy with his antics, still a bit of a prankster but mostly just likes to mess with people verbally. He isn't Rigby's typical partner, but they pair up here and there and, well, he has a reputation.

As does she. A reputation at her agency for excelling. She also has a rep for being serious, because she is a bit more serious at her job. And, amongst the medical staff, a reputation for refusing treatment, but i'll touch on that later. She even dresses semi-formal whenever she goes in and isn't doing action-based field work or training. But its reminiscent of Suit Saeran's style; ya know, the chain? Formal suits (you'll never see her in a dress, skirt, or heels) with an edgy flare.

Her agency's primary goal is assisting those with powers. Her sector focuses more on the youth. Soemtimes, they have to remove the kid(s) from their home situation -- which can be for a few reasons, such as the family is abusive, or the child's power is too out of control -- and stay in the care center of the agency, where they are well taken care of and trained to control their powers and utilize them efficiently and safely.

Vasyl and Amara both went through this, and they both ended up under the care of Rigby's parents.

Rigby is, as Hughes, another coworker, likes to call her, a "jack of all trades." She hates that term, but it's kinda true. When she was young, her parents weren't only training her to control her powers, but they also taught her the basics for pretty much everything they knew, and then at a certain age, she was allowed to pick a few favourites, which they then focused more on, although they still gave occasional lessons on other skills (such as dancing, but there's no way in hell she's ever telling anyone that she knows how to dance lmao). They wanted her to have a lot of options when she got older.

Hacking/info gathering, general investigation (which is when she gets paired with Jeth), infiltration (including undercover), rescue, and when needed, trainer. Her main/"official" ones tho are the hacking and rescue.

Also, hardly anyone uses their real names there. She smushed her last name to get "Nova."

Hdbdhsvsj the dynamic between Vasyl and Rigby is adorable, but i also love the dynamic between Jeth and Nova. Like- look at this:

"A gut feeling, huh? Are you sure it's not just the tacos?"

"I don't eat tacos."

Jeth gasped loudly, as thought she had offended some revered figure. "You've never had a taco?" he exclaimed.

"I've had a couple. But I don't like them." She parked the car along the curb.

"You're insane! How can you not like tacos?"

"How can you not like ice cream?"

"Ice cream is f--king disgusting."

"Oh, my days." Nova unbuckled and opened the door. "I- I refuse to hear such blasphemy."

Also, insults:

She shook her head. "Are you sure you weren't dropped as a baby?"

He opened his mouth, but Nova continued.

"Oh, wait, we already established that when you decided mixing strawberries and barbecue sauce was the best thing ever."

He grinned. "You should try it~. It's delicious!"

"Not for a million USD." They stopped before a door. "Something definitely went wrong during the development of your tastebuds. And your brain."

"Agent Nova, why must you be so cruel?"

"Because your presence is a truth serum."

I live for banter tbh lmao.

Oh, and about her brother. She does her best to make sure he doesnt adopt that self-sacrificing behaviour -- call her a hypocrite; she's well aware. Alfhough, she's only that way with certain people, but still.

[417]

I am thriving on this banter. It's made me laugh so hard. It's about the chaos all the time. I think that's kind of hilarious that you struck gold and then found that another game struck gold. You can't go in the wrong direction when it comes to some wild cat.

These are just screaming what we all want in a friendship. Someone to call you out and bop you on the head for being a little shit. It's simply as it should be. Just a little something about chaos mixed in with the rationality can be really fun to play around with. You said tacos. Now you gotta sing the Jaehee Spicy Taco song.

I do love a woman with a flare for style and that's WHAT WE'RE THRIVING ON. I would like to be her friend the more that I learn about her and her universe, NGL.

It's good that the two of them have a sibling relationship where they can be honest with each other about this sort of thing and have a good laugh about it... or a playful shove to the shoulder as a reminder to lighten up and work on how hard and intense one is. It's good to want to care about your family but always remember that you can put yourself first sometimes! Easier said than it is done... that girl is asking for trouble but she's thriving. My condolences to her brother who deals with that daily.

[mayprils]

that face when you accidentally fall for your target that you were supposed to assassinate because of her warcrimes because your technique for assassinating people is getting close to them and then people never suspect that it was you and usually this has worked because you have never developed feelings for anyone and have in general been very independent but she was different. you had never met anyone like her and usually you dont care for attention but damn it you would do anything to get her attention. then when you got to the stage where you usually would kill the target you just didnt. you went to kill your boss because you realized they didnt love you or care for you and they were just a millionaire that destroyed your empathy skills and every ounce of humanity you once had. you had to relearn how to love through your target who is an autistic warcriminal who has also not experienced the most normal upbringing. but she still taught you how you should be treated and how it is to be loved entirely for all parts of you. but you still cant bring yourself to tell her that the only reason you even got close to her was because you were supposed to assassinate her. she is allowed to see all of your other flaws but that one you will keep hidden until you die. and you're fine with that because you know you'll die before her because youre human and she's an elf.

that face when someone insults your wife and youre 0.2 seconds away from going to beat them up and you actually would and have done in the past when someone has insulted your partners but april does not care about other people as much as you do which is strange because you made that assumption at first but youre wrong she does not care about anyone except for you.

that face when you fall for the guy that has liked you since he first met you but you had a partner at the time and were so very determined not to fall for him even though your current partner was not the best one you just didnt feel like you deserved someone as nice as Lucas and at times he felt too nice. like the way that he admitted his feelings for you and told you that if you wanted him out of your life you just had to say the word and he would leave. then when he started telling you that your current partner maybe wasnt the nicest guy and that you should break up with him you got very defensive and drifted appart but in reality it was your partner that was distancing you from all of your friends and making you believe he was the only one that actually still loved you. then one night when he tried to steal your soul lucas came back to save the day and admitted he and xoco had been keeping an eye on you because xoco knew your partner was a demon but didnt know how to break it to you. after that whole thing was dealt with it even took some time to develop feelings for him and just to let yourself love him because you still felt like you didnt deserve him. he had almost given up hope but was so glad that you asked him if he wanted to pursue a romantic relationship instead of the platonic one you were already in. it wasnt one of those "if you wait she will have feelings for you one day" type of situations, it was a "he had feelings for her and at first only liked the idea of her but the more he got to know her the more he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he didnt care if that was in a platonic or romantic way but he wanted her to have the best life she could get" type of situations. but it was not what you intended and now you're mad about it like youre mad about a lot of stuff in your life.

that face when you are a simp and caught feelings for the girl the first time you met.