#you cannot tell me this wouldn’t be a canon interaction between the two

[astroprinc3]

pouring the milk first (eene skit)

who’s side are you on? 🤨🤨🤨

this is a scheduled post

if u wanna use the audio too the link is here

[juniperhillpatient]

How’s it going @juniperhillpatient ?

I just read chapter VII of “The devil You Know”. The chapter was a roller coster and the story is really heating up. Poor Yue…

Was it truly a mere accident that Sokka’s coffin laid on top of Yue’s and Fy Lee”. He is very suspiciously close to many deaths. Toph was killed soon after she found out he and Suki were implicated in (I think it was Chan’s?) death. Speaking of Suki, it’s quite interesting when she protested how her phone wasn’t working, only for Azula to notice that it suddenly began to work again when it came time for Yue’s video to appear. Yue of course being an idvidyal that Suki has a grudge against. Via Sokka. Speaking of Yue, her POV this chapter was a gut punch. As was Katara’s in the beginning.

Also Jets’s POV drew several points about Ty Lee from his perspective. That she was smarter than she initially appeared. And that she six identical sisters. In appearance and voice.

What if Ty Lee hadn’t died at all. What if merely faked her death (by sacrificing one of her sisters) and engineered the call to Azula. Blaming Zuko for something he hadn’t actually done. From Jet’s PoV we know that Ty Lee’s parents wouldn’t actually notice if one of their daughters disappeared. Which may make it easy for Ty Lee to fake her death and switch with one of her sisters. If indeed she is one of the killers. I could just be reading into something that is’t there after all.

One of the killers expressed heartbreak over Azula. And we know that something happened between her and Ty Lee. Maybe enough to push Ty Lee into being a killer? Their’s also Mai, who may have been acting the fool this whole time. Her anger at Azula is readily apparent. My distrust of the two stems from canon. Though their actions are understandable I’ve got a thing about people betraying their friends. So their deeds at the Boiling Rock still leave a bad tastes in my mouth. Minus saving Zuko/Sokka/Suki’s lives of course.

So I like Suki and Sokka for Ghostface. With Mai coming in as a secondary suspicion. And If my theory about Ty Lee faking her death is right, she immediately jumps to #I suspect

In the end scene, where Katara is perving on Azula. Is Azula blacking out like in the first chapter? In which Zuko is taking of Azula in that moment?

And a message for Azula. “Tell your girlfriend important shit! Your brother being accused (supposedly at least) in being a killer definitely qualifies. Also don’t cheat on her”. That’s a bit fucked up. Unless you blacked out for it. Which makes Zuko’s action monumentally more fucked up. But then, every character in this story is a bit screwed in the head. But then, that’s one (though by no means the only) of the reasons we love all the ATLA main crew (Gaang+Dangerous ladies+Yue).

Also, I’m pretty sure Kiyi is Hakoda’s and Ursa’s bastard child. Does Sokka suspect which married women that Hakoda slept with (Ursa?). He’s been a big brother figure to her thus far, so maybe. Out of all the characters, I’m hoping Kiyi lives. Even more so than Azula or Katara (I know, It me saying that!). Also hopeful she doesn’t end up as one of the killers…

I enjoyed the chapter, and am greatly looking forward to next! I want to see this mystery unraveled!

Bestie I wish you could like.....watch my face journey as I read through your speculations because I had a BALL reading this!

I seriously LOVE all the theorizing & I feel like I'm interacting less than usual with readers when it comes to this story because I'm always just like -

"love the theories :))))" but also I literally CANNOT respond with anything to theories without giving away if you're close or way off LMAO

But just know. I feel so validated in putting as much thought as I do into this story (trust me it's a lot lol) & I just get SO excited about seeing the different possibilities when I get messages such as this. Just - AHH !! :)

As for Kiyi - I can go ahead & confirm that she is indeed Ursa & Hakoda's child. I don't consider this a spoiler given it is pretty much confirmed in the latest update. More on how much Sokka knows about this very soon!

Anyway - THANK YOU. Whenever I see notifications from you I get so happy because you are so thoughtful & insightful & so supportive <3

[pathlit]

so, in light of my ‘I miss una ( already )’ dilemma… I’ve been thinking about this all evening, and if I hypothetically were to bring una here but only on a selective and highly plot-dependent basis to explore ( primarily trek-based, but open to others too… ) aus… would anyone be interested in indulging me?

by which I mean…

I just want to play with the what ifs, with the elements of una’s backstory I’ve built because canon has given us scraps ( that I’d already written an alternative for by the time they gave it to us whoops ). let me stick una anywhere other than enterprise. what happens if she builds her career working full-time with starfleet intelligence, instead of rising through the ranks on starships? what if she never leaves illyria, and instead becomes one of their foremost scientists? ( specializing in genetics, per her studies in my canon, maybe. or, you cannot tell me that una wouldn’t delve deep into the physical and temporal workings of the universe!! time travel mechanics. alternate realities. so many things she’d want to understand!! ) what if she does leave illyria, still meets etienn, but never joins starfleet and instead makes her way in the galaxy freelance?

or, let me use illyria as a plot device!! and actually build illyrian culture since canon hasn’t in two full seasons!! how much interaction is there on a government-basis between illyria and the federation? do they have diplomatic relations, or do they just mutually pretend the other doesn’t exist? how does illyria feel about the federation’s ban on genetic augmentation and subsequent biases? what happens if something forces the federation and illyria to work together, or, vise versa, if something provokes a war?

canon characters, non-canon characters, I don’t care… just… build things with me!

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

I don’t think I have massive amounts to say about this new episode that hasn’t already been said better by someone else but I’m very autistic and incapable of shutting up about my special interests so here we go anyway

I love the exploration of Beth’s character through her two selves and how we get to see things that are the same/intrinsic to both Beths but also how big some changes are even from one split essentially.

I’m glad we’ve got confirmation that Rick has also fucked other Ricks because you cannot tell me that Rick of all people wouldn’t have done that. Also I love that he reassures Beth that it’s OK and tells her he’s done the same.

Rick and Jerry canonical bonding/drunken shenanigans is my favourite thing

Also Rick just pissing about with Summer and Morty is great as well

Also Summer and Morty’s little discussion about both seeing and trying not to think about the Beths

I know a lot of people didn’t find this episode funny but I actually really did? I might be in the minority here because I honestly also found a lot of parts of the infamous sperm episode funny when I know others hated it so maybe I just have a very stupid and childish sense of humour but I love the Beths sneaking around to not get caught, Summer and Morty being traumatised by what they see, the ‘ultra-realistic video game’ just being realistic in ways no one wants it to be, Rick and Jerry getting drunk and getting tattoos, Rick arguing with Morty over the controller, Rick trying to make Summer and Morty have a normal dinner within earshot of the role play uostairs

Also I know a lot of people weren’t keen on the ending (not the post credits stinger but the ending threesome) because they felt like it was ‘I have two wives’ thing but personally I felt like it didn’t come across like that too much since the episode was focused mostly on Beth and her relationship to herself and her as a person? And we’ve had Beth and Jerry have a threesome with Mr Nimbus before, as well as Rick calling out Jerry for asking which Beth was ‘his’ in S4, which Jerry also acknowledges here ‘Beth? My Beth? Well not my Beth but’). Also with Jerry’s father enjoying being cucked I honestly took it much more as Jerry enjoying being cucked and the Beths getting into the roleplay.

And speaking of the post-credits stinger, I love the receptionist telling Jerry that they don’t allow Jerrys to fuck each other and him then sneaking off to find another Jerry in the alley only for them to have an extremely chaste kiss and handshake and thank you. The most Jerry interaction ever.

Overall I really liked this episode, I found it funny but also liked that it did explore some more serious issues (Beth’s conflicting thoughts on things/the differences between the two Beths, Jerry being manipulative and acknowledging it and apologising) and also the little slice of life moments with Rick and Summer and Morty.

[cutestkilla]

Fanfic writer challenge!

instructions:

list & explain the three lines/moments from canon that are most fundamental to how you write your fave character

challenge 3 more fic writers to do the same!

@mostlymaudlin came up with this and tagged me in it more than two weeks ago (thank you!) and then @chenchenchen tagged me again today and reminded me that I really wanted to do it (and also to try out DALL-E 2 to make some art, which I did for the image above).

I shall tag @creepyspice @artsyunderstudy and @bookish-bogwitch!

So, this is a bit of a cheat, because I genuinely cannot choose a favourite between Simon and Baz. The other thing is that I think my favourite person to write so far in the fandom, and who I have probably written the most of, is the Humdrum. Or my version of him, aka Sid (short for Insidious). You might know that I wrote a story called What’s Left that features the Humdrum as he navigates becoming normal in an AU where Simon is actually murdered by the Mage in the White Chapel. Half, if not more, of the POV of the fic is the Humdrum (so... 70K+ words), and it follows him and Baz as they team up to locate and take revenge on the Mage and… do lots of other stuff together, including living as roommates and growing as people.

So, anyway, here goes with the canon moments that really informed the way I wrote Sid, under the cut.

1 ) “You can talk,” I say.

“I can now. I can do all sorts of things now.” He looks up into the tree and reaches for one of the slimmest branches; his hand passes through it. He grimaces and tries again. This time his hand closes around the twig, and he snaps it off. Then he looks back up at me and grins, like I should be proud of him.

“Why do you look like me?” I ask. This still feels like the most important question.

“This is just what I look like.” He laughs. “Why wouldn’t I look like you?”

“But you’re not me.”

“No.” The Humdrum frowns. “Look at you. You’re different every time I see you. But I always look just like this.”

-Carry On, pg. 413

So, there is A LOT here that informed the way I wrote the Humdrum! First off, the way this interaction starts with “You can talk”, to me, is a callback to earlier in CO when Simon is telling us about the speech therapy he had to have when he was a kid back in care. This is also where the Humdrum tells us that not only does he just naturally look the same as Simon, and always has, the main reason he considers himself not to be him is that Simon is changing and he has stayed exactly the same the whole time.

Except, one other important thing later in this scene is where Simon describes the Humdrum looking like the cat who got the canary, and it being an expression he’s never seen on his own face.

I don’t think it’s a controversial theory to then assume that the Humdrum could have started off as an entity with the identical experiences and personality traits of Simon, age 11, based on this. And that Simon seeing a totally different expression on his face supports the idea that the Humdrum has actually been changing mentally, if not in his physical expression, the whole time based on whatever his experiences have been relative to Simon’s.

So, that was how I thought about him as I wrote: What if you took Simon age 11 and put him through whatever things we’re going to say the Humdrum went through? How would he react? What would he be like?

There's also that moment where he looks for validation at his new skills from Simon. That shows he’s still retained that childlike 11-year-old quality in some ways. He still wants some of the same things Simon wanted back then, and he isn’t just an evil monster. He goes on in this section to explain that the reason for giving the creatures his nothing so they come after Simon is just “a great game.” He’s just a bored kid who’s been all alone and unable to communicate for years, with his Humdrum attacks as literally his only means of personal expression.

2) I squeeze one hand and give him a bit of magic. A fistful.

The Mage clenches my fingers, and his body seizes, but he doesn’t let go. “Simon!” His eyes light up. Literally. “I think this will work!”

“It will work,” my voice says. But I’m not the one speaking – the Humdrum is standing beside us. Over Ebb’s body.

-Carry On, pg. 477

The key piece of this for me is the way the Humdrum comes in so certain that it will work. How would he know that and be so certain? He acted surprised a few chapters ago when he learned that Simon could magic share with Baz, and nothing new has happened on that front in the narrative since then, so how would the Humdrum know that?

To me, this indicated some degree of limited omniscience in him (he can find out about things if he wants to), as well as his natural curiosity. There are other indicators of his curiosity in this scene, especially about the nature of his own existence, particularly the “I’ve had loads of time to think about it” line that comes on the next page. He was bored, and he sat around thinking. This is also really interesting for being completely oppositional to Simon’s trying never to think about anything, another sign of them being two halves of the same whole.

Based on this, Sid was very analytical, knowledgeable about things like math and physics and computer science and magic of course, and I made it a bit of a running gag for him to be constantly schooling Baz on his ignorance.

I also flow this back through my prevailing theory about who Simon and the Humdrum are to each other. I think it tells us something about how Simon could have turned out if he had more time and inclination to think, and more access to information. (Smart!Simon FOREVER.)

3) “No,” I say. “I’m going to end this. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

“I’m sorry that all the good stuff happened after I left you.”

The Humdrum looks confused. I close my eyes, and then I imagine myself unlocking every door - opening every window, turning every tap – and pouring it all into him.

He doesn’t flinch or pull away. And when I open my eyes again, he’s still looking up at me, less confused now.

The Humdrum puts his hands over mine and gives me a small nod. His jaw is set, and his eyes are flinty. He looks like a little thug, even now.

-Carry On, pg. 479

Ok, so this is just more from the same scene above, but there isn’t THAT MUCH Humdrum in canon, and I also wanted to call this part out for the way he reacts to what’s happening.

First of all, the way he’s surprised that Simon is sorry… He genuinely doesn’t understand why Simon would be sorry, but then when Simon explains he almost immediately gets it (coupled with understanding that Simon is giving him the magic). The way he immediately acquiesces I think shows that he also has not been happy with the way his existence has been going, that he himself is not at peace, and that this coming back to together is bringing that peace to him finally because that’s the way it’s meant to be. While his drive all along has been to cause chaos for the sake of entertainment, the minute he’s presented with another viable alternative that feels better, he takes it. He's hungry for it. He is malleable and changeable and somewhat empathetic, and this let me write him this way in my story, in his relationship with Baz.

The other thing is that Simon, of course, instinctively knows this will happen, and the Humdrum instinctively knows what Simon intends to do because: same brain. They are both instinctively being driven to come back together, to feel whole again. That really drove the characterization in the latter half of my fic and also ended up being a huge part of what the story was about. Self-acceptance and self-love as the path to true happiness.

AAAND ramble over!

[lazleylazarus]

!!!!!!!

Tbh whenever I see in-game IchiSae brought up, I feel I have quite some stuff to say so welcome to my little rant as well if y’all even see this or if y’all even care.

First things first, yeah. It’s poorly executed. And that’s to put it mildly. Yet, most of my complaints are about the way RGG Studio presented Saeko’s side but I’ll get to that later.

What kinda surprises me is that I’ve seen so many people claiming that canon IchiSae came out of nowhere or something like that and it leaves me kinda… confused? I mean, despite being an active member of Yakuza fanbase for a bit less than a year, I could tell Saeko may eventually become Ichiban’s love interest if not partner when she first appeared on the screen, be it mutual or one-sided, be it in y7 or later, I don’t care. Note that I hadn’t even seen IW teasers that were on web at that time. Like, to me y7 just screamed “shounen! shounen! shounen!” because of, dunno, Ichiban himself I guess? It really felt like he was going to get a girl, it didn’t matter whether the audience wanted it or not. I really don’t get it. Maybe that’s because they didn’t have visible chemistry that would be strong enough for them to make others see them as a potential couple or so? And that three-four-year long gap between the events of the games doesn’t help it because no shit, we couldn’t see their interaction? If that’s the reason why many see this ship being pushed randomly, then that explains it. I’ve even heard the opinion that Ichi and Chitose have more to offer but who knows.

What I really don’t like about the way IchiSae is presented in game, is the way Saeko’s side is written. Yet, I can try to imagine how the writing crew might’ve seen it. Sure, there are some really weird writing decisions, at least if we look at this through the lens of a western player I suppose, like ghosting a man for about a year after he wrongfully proposed to you and apologized for making you uncomfortable the next day (cus idk if it’s normal in Japanese dating(?) culture or not, I’d better ask the experts or natives I guess)… I mean, you had known him for about 3 years at the time, you might’ve not know he had little to no experience in romance but wouldn’t you know he’s kinda impulsive and awkward at times? Of course no one says you cannot feel embarrassed because it’s your first date and he already says he wants to marry you but her “feelings” rant to Kiryu and Kiryu explaining it to Kasuga later? Man, I don’t know. You may be a bit upset because he “neglected your feelings” but how do you think he will get that by himself? He wasn’t willing to offend you and I’m sure you know it! Tbh even after that drink link rant it didn’t feel like Saeko had mutual feelings for Kasuga and,,, that weirdly ambiguous thing with that businessman??

Putting the rest of the criticism aside, it felt more like she viewed Ichiban as a really close friend whom she wouldn’t want to lose *cough* despite willingly avoiding any contact with him for a year, that’s still a weird move. It didn’t feel mutual at all until the very end. It’s just Ichiban who carries the whole thing. Not without some complaints either but I’d still love to believe that’s due to his lack of experience in romance and stuff. He’s ok at chatting with women when he views them as friends, colleagues or so but not as partner. Anyways, he’s the one who carries it but he cannot do it by himself and it fails miserably.

For some reason, I feel like they’re going to be separated/break up eventually like Kiryu and Sayama or so (btw I have much better feelings for these two as a couple). But anyway, if Ichiban and Saeko go through it in any of the later projects, I hope RGG Studio will make me care about them at least then. No shit, I’ll care about Ichiban anyway, he’s my baby boy, a honorary member of my virtual husbands crew. Just hire better writers for Saeko, poor thing isn’t being treated well and I’m sorry for her.

Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth Rant

Warning. This article contains spoilers. Alas, this post is an enormous wall of text and consists purely from me complaining. Get the children away from the screen.

Okay, I’ll probably regret this later, but I’ll post this anyway. Years ago I used to be pretty vocal about my opinion, but these days I prefer to keep most of the negative opinions to myself. But I believe if I’d keep everything bottled up on this one particular matter I’ll simply explode.

I’m currently enthusiastically playing Like a Dragon/Yakuza series, which is now one of my favorite game series. Back at high school used to play first two games on PS2, and later there was Kurohyo on PSP, but didn’t get too far in any of them, decided save it for later, and this “later” has finally happened several months ago after listening to one pretty entertaining podcast about JPRGs. One of the hosts has totally sold me Yakuza: Like a Dragon (I’ve literally ran and bought it after listening the podcast). I’ve played it, loved it and almost cried my eyes out on the ending (seriously, if someone asks me how my ideal JRPG should look like, I’d say that’s the one).

After that I’ve beaten Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth. I’ve really enjoyed this game in general, but comparing to its predecessor, while most of the gameplay issues were fixed, some story issues did arise. Story itself is far more simple and lacks memorable antagonists (Ebina was okay and Bryce was outright lame). Still, there were a plenty of interesting moments to keep me going, and I really liked the ending, which was extremely moving, the part before the ending credits I mean. And then this stupid love confession scene happened and completely ruined the mood for me. Seriously, it wasn’t funny, it was tasteless like in the worst romcoms.

And, well, here lies the main issue with Infinite Wealth for me - this poorly-written romance subplot between Ichi and Saeko, and how Saeko character is handled in this game in general. So, if you are the fan of her I suggest you to stop reading right here, right now.

First, I would like to point that, when Saeko was just an optional romantic interest in LaD it was perfectly fine, but in IW, where she became the designated love interest, the whole romance plotline became very forced and uncalled-for. In LaD they were simply on friendly terms with no indication of evident romantic interest, and in IW the whole “Ichi falling for Saeko” thing looks extremely out of nowhere. All interactions between them look artificial without real chemistry between characters. Seriously, every time Ichi says, that he loves her or have feelings for her, it sounds hardly believable, like he is trying to convince himself and the players. At moments like this I could almost imagine something like this:

RGG Studio staff: *gives Ichi the script* Start reading.

Ichi: But that’s a bunch of bullshit!

RGG Studio staff: *points a gun on Ichi* Start reading. Now.

To be honest, I’m not the fan of romance genre at all and I mostly view romance sublots in various media as a nuisance. Still I won’t deny that there are some romantic storylines I genuinely enjoyed and was rooting for the characters till the very end (like Alphen and Shionne from Tales of Arise or Oswald and Gwendolyn from Odin Sphere for example), but there are still very few of the quality romantic stories to my liking comparing to those, which are either okay or boring at the best, and unbelievably stupid or outright unhealthy (and stupid) at the worst.

Worst of all, that RGG Studio actually can write a decent romance subplot. And I believe that Yakuza 0  is a good example of this. There we have Goro Majima (who is my second most favorite character in the series, after Ichi) and Makoto Makimura (who belongs to one of my least favorite character archetypes-“damsel-in-distress”, but considering her condition and the fact that everyone is after her, she really does need help and protection). In their story there wouldn’t be a single “I love you” or “I have feelings for you” or any other needless words, they just go through many shit together and slowly develop feeling for each other, which is shown very subtly through finely directed cutscenes. They don’t get together in the end (which is pretty logical, considering everything, that’s happened), but this plotline gets pretty heartwarming conclusion in Kiwami 2. But if they actually did get together I wouldn’t mind at all, even though Makoto isn’t one of my favorites, simply because their story is well-written and makes sense.

Alright, back to Ichi and Saeko. Let’s start with the infamous “proposal-on-the-first-date” scene, I won’t deny that it was awkward as hell (I was like: “Ichi, please, just shut up.”), but Saeko’s reaction wasn’t one of the mature woman either. I would’ve understood her reaction if they’d barely knew each other, in that case it would’ve been perfectly natural. But they know each other pretty well by this point (three years, no less) and she knows that he tends to speak his mind and has zero experience with women. I believe, she could’ve always say something like:”Hold on, let’s not rush things.”, I’m sure he would’ve understand. But no, she just runs away and leaves him hanging. And when, thanks to Adachi and Nanba, Ichi realizes, what he did wrong, he goes and apologizes. Saeko seemingly accepts the apology, says that they are still friends, and that as a friend she will support him no matter what. And what Saeko does next? She ignores Ichi for a whole year. And when he loses his job and becomes pariah thanks to Tatara Channel, only Adachi and Nanba go and check up on him. When she finds out, she doesn’t even bother to send something like: “Are you okay?” or whatever. And that’s after all the crap they’ve went through in LaD. A “true friend”, nuff said.

Oh, and you know what’s rich? In her Drink Link (I did it only for the achievement and to see whether she actually expresses any remorse at all, spoiler-no) it is revealed that, the whole year she was ghosting Ichi, she was dating some obvious bastard, who was manipulating her into marrying him to get her money and business. Funny, how she didn’t see that until he went and said it himself. Another fun fact, that in some random dialogues she actually asks Kiryu and Nanba how Ichi is doing, only to add something like: “Not that I care.”. Seriously, her whole attitude towards Ichi is so fucked up and can easily be described as emotional abuse. If I were him I would’ve dismissed her after that year of ghosting and just forgot about her. And the last, but not the least, everyone either criticizes or mocks Ichi because of this stupid proposal, but no one criticizes Saeko for her craptastic treatment of him.

Also putting romance aside, I believe Saeko has nothing to offer as a character. In LaD she was an okay character, albeit with the little to zero relevance to the main plot. I believe RGG Studio has added her only for the sake of adding at least one playable girl in the party full of dudes to expand the audience, since Eri is an optional character and you can beat the game without even getting her in the team. Speaking of Eri, while she is totally unimportant to the main storyline, she is still much more likeable and fleshed out character than Saeko, and more useful in battles too.

In IW Saeko became much worse. As I see it, her portrayal is something of a strong and independent woman. And it does not withstand any criticism. Even in LaD there were some optional dialogues, were she is mocking other party members in a form of a joke. In IW she is even more immature. For example, remember how in LaD she refused to go with you in cabaret club ( I mean, where you can order a hostesses)? In IW Seonhee tags along with the guys in the same club (because, why not?), and Saeko decides that she is going too, even though she is not interested in the stuff. And there is more instances (all optional dialogues though), where someone does something, she clearly disapproves, but everyone else in party does, and she decides to do it too. I believe, that being strong and independent actually means having an opinion of your own and not caring about what others would think about you. While both Seonhee and Chitose really can be described as strong women, Saeko only seems like one, but in reality she is just pathetic. When it comes to main story in IW-she can be easily removed from all cutscenes, because most of the time she either all bark no bite (strong and independent woman, uh-huh) or just stands there. Looks like RGG Studio simply didn’t know what to do with her after LaD and wrote all this pseudo-romantic crap simply to justify her presence in IW. For me it sure didn’t work, I felt utterly disgusted with her the whole game. I wish they would just wrote her out entirely from the story. While in LaD she was only one non-optional girl in the party, in IW we have two more well-developed female characters, who, unlike Saeko, are actually important to the plot.

I’ve read somewhere that RGG Studio is currently working on the next installment in the series. I have no idea, what it’ll be about, but I really wish that they’d just drop the idea of getting Ichi and Saeko together for the sake of it. It seriously looks like the cupid on drugs is garroting the poor guy with the red string. To be honest, I’m not exactly excited about new installment at all. Saeko stuff aside, for me IW is the fitting conclusion to the series. I seriously don’t see what else could be added to the main story, since all the major storylines got a closure by that point. I only wish for Kiryu to heal his cancer and for Ichi to get his job back (and the same goes for Majima, Saejima and Dojima, since I don’t remember anything said about it in the ending), and for both of them to live in peace for the rest of the days. They’ve had enough shit in their lives already.

[miekasa]

mie!! since u write such beautiful gorgeous astounding breathtaking life-changing tearjerking fics, do YOU have any good fic recs that you personally love 🤔

I do! I have a whole blog of wonderful fics I’ve read (tho I desperately need to update it/reblog the ones in my drafts and tag them) @ackermeun for more if you want because there are many lovely, talented writers; but I’ll list a few of my faves for Levi and Eren below 😌😌

Levi

kiss me more by @vennilavee

Now, I could recommend you anything and everything by Saran and I have no doubt that you would love all of it. There’s not a single thing in her masterlist that I dislike, she even made me okay with the idea of pegging Levi bye. The entire tbah universe (specifically parental moments one) has a special place in my heart, but recently the perpendicular world has been on my mind, and might be coming for number one. Either way, you’re gonna love it. She writes Levi in his slightly bitchy, kinda needy, implicitly affectionate, true to nature form, and I am so grateful for it. Also, Saran is a comedian. 

silver soul by @oi-levi (now posting from @bibblelevi)

I suck at keeping up with series, and, so, naturally, I’m terribly behind on this one, but I’m gonna go ahead and rec the whole thing to you anyway, because I have no doubt that the other chapters are just as great the two I’ve read so far. The way she writes Levi... when I tell you I could wrap myself up in a blanket and binge this whole series, and her entire masterlist, and be very content I mean it; her writing feels warm, that’s the only way I can explain it. 

the art of tea composition by @karikarasuno

I don’t remember how or when I found this fic exactly, probably just scrolling through the tag, but I love it. Domestic fluff with Levi, allowing me to pretend I’m a morning person, and just the right kind of smut to go with it. Simple and very, very effective. I’ve reread it a few times by now, no shame.

where you’re meant to be by @deludedimagines

After you read this, I also suggest just going after the whole masterlist. I cannot express how grateful I am to have found this blog PLEASE. Her characterization of Levi is perfect, and something about her prose feels very clean and simple, but elevated and layered at the same time. This one-shot in particular is one of my favorite canonverse pieces, I’m a sucker for a classic injured lover trope. 

the ones who matter most by @deludedimagines

Yeah... this shouldn’t be a surprise. Fantastic writing, fluff in canonverse has a special place in my heart because I think it can be really hard to pull off well; it’s difficult to balance a sense of softness within the aot universe for the obvious reasons, and getting Levi’s caring nature right can be (unfortunately) so hard to find. Good thing people like Sorcha are here. Enjoy more fluff. Also this fic is particularly fantastic to me not just because of the injured lover trope, but because the 104th babies pay a visit and you all know how much I love a good glimpse of reluctant adoptive dad Levi hehe

bullet by @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface

If you can’t tell by now, I love canonverse fluff, tho this fic isn’t fluff in the traditional sense, but I think that makes it all the much better. Perfect depiction of real life shit that would go down in the aot world paired with Levi’s need to protect his s/o. It’s fantastic. 

the knife by @therealvalkyrie

I didn’t mean to turn this into Mie’s Favorite Canon Fics Showcase, but here we are anyway. As much as I love a good injured lover trope (and this does have that hehe), I love a good kickass reader insert, too. Shoutout to Valkyrie for included both in this fic, and Levi being proud of his s/o... well you can imagine how much I liked that bye

dante’s inferno by @alrightberries

College au + roommates au with Levi... that should be enough for you to read this lmfao, no but actually it’s adorable. Not to mention friends to lovers... if you know me you know how I feel about that, I’ll gobble up every f2l fic until I’m dead and gone. Not to mention there’s a cat and Levi won’t admit he likes it, or he’s jealous of it. Simply cannot go wrong here. 

waves know shores by @onwiings

Bro I don’t even like the idea of public sex and I’m not even a fan of water like that but this fic has me wrapped around it’s pinky lmfaoooo. Some of the best Levi smut I’ve read and you already know how I feel when Levi and reader have cute interactions with the 104th in fics. Really it’s checking every item on my list. 

Eren

speed racer by @emeren

I’m pretty sure I found this fic during my midterms last semester, and when I tell you I’m so grateful for it lmaooo. It’s really just a good au, I think it fits Eren (honestly barking at just the concept) and the writing brings it all to life. 

under the moonlight by @murmikaa

I’d have to be dumb not to recommend this to you. I love reading longer fics, and if you do, then this will 100% satisfy you. The whole story is great and immersive, not just between Eren and the reader; their relationships with the other characters are really what makes this special imo. There’s also beach sex, so. Obviously it’s good. 

untitled.avi by @puredivinity (now @celestidarling)

Naur you must of thought wrong if you thought at least one of Mara’s fics wouldn’t be here. I’m obsessed, I think I’ve read it three times minimum. I read all her Eren fics, and you should too. She writes him in such a dreamy way, almost like he’s right there and too good to be true that you must be hallucinating. Immaculate. 

midnight snacks by @writertitan

Dumb, college-typical antics and fluff with Eren... obviously you know I’m about that. The whole concept is so mundane, but so cute, you can’t help but fall for it because it could be so real!! I love that kinda stuff hehe 

i’m your satellite by @ackerfics

Comparing hand sizes with Eren!! YEAAAAH!! No, okay, but I read the summary and was ready to dive in because... size kink go crazy, but when I tell you I was so blown away to find out that it was not only from Eren’s pov, but that he was being a complete simp and down terrible the whole time. Normalize boyfriends being completely fucking in love with their gfs that simple shit like the size of their hand makes them wanna simp even harder!!!!

eren as an ass man by @hznji

I’m dying on the hill that Eren is an ass guy and you should too because it’s the objective truth. Fluff, Eren being a complete dog as per usual, Eren’s being touchy (I will also die on the hill that he’s touchy as fuck and has no concept of personal space) and just in genral snarky but cute banter. Gotta love that. 

Jean

tears over beers by @appplepii

When I tell you this is my favorite Jean fic, I mean it. Friends to lovers with hopelessly pining Jean + oblivious reader = everything I could have asked for in a fic, AND it’s from Jean’s pov too!!! INCREDIBLE!!! The pining made me yearn, and the smut was so well done, too. 

this drabble by @arlerted

Whatever, whatever, WHATEVER!!! I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!!! Cal is right, don’t do drugs but... this mf... this imagine.... has been burned into my mind since the first time I fucking read it bye. Callie also writes a bunch of filthy (affectionate <3) fics and drabbles and lewds and you should read them, preferably when you’re alone and with the lights off. 

[booasaur]

“It’s just not gonna happen…;I can’t betray my SOUL” lol I felt that! There’s a lot more ‘official’ representation these days but in the past, so many f/f ships were entirely based on subtext or the show was actively queerbaiting, so most of my ships weren’t canon. And there’s always the thing of shipping two women who click just for whatever reason that I’ve kept up even now, when one character ends up being gay or bi and gets a partner. That’s me now with New Amsterdam, I always loved the idea of Bloom and Sharpe together and even seeing all the setup for Sharowin from day 1, I was in denial ha. I love Lauren and Leyla but BloomSharpe will always own a piece of my heart, ‘real’ or not :,)

(Note: I actually did start answering this in April and then left it till now so this’ll be somewhat disjointed as I finish off my older thoughts.)

The subtext vs canon discussion is always super interesting, right! Sometimes it’s a question of which dueling ship from the various current fandoms is the one that wins the most attention from a smallish community but it’s really interesting when there’s friction between subtext and canon ships in the same show, though that happens less and less so now. I feel like the mid '10s will remain the peak of that, as media began to include canon f/f more regularly and a large part of fandom followed, while others stayed with subtext. Glee was a great example, since both ships were so huge, but you see that behavior in SC vs Alex's canon ships too, or, less so because Red Kansas or whatever could hardly compare, but SQ as well. I do remember when New Amsterdam started and idly noted the two female characters who actually interacted and had a friendship and wouldn’t have minded shipping them but Helen/Max seemed set up from the start and I wasn’t in the mood to battle that. [Me adding months later: It’s ironic now, whichever one was more popular, both Sharpe and Leyla are gone. :x]

But it was super interesting to see who was drawn to Faberry and who to Brittana, then the two combined for Clexa, and then split again into Sanvers and SC, for example. It seems to me that it really depends on people's individual engagement with ships, what is it they get invested in specifically. The subtext group essentially goes for the “ideal” pairing, usually main characters with rich backgrounds and histories and well-defined, multilayered relationships, deciding that romance makes the dynamic even better, or clearer. Even now you have KCFH and HotD offering scope for that. The canon group will usually, just as a matter of statistics, not get the main characters, but to them the romance is already the source of the richness, and they can add the rest of the character and relationship work. 

Neither way is better or worse and there’s no hard rule, there’s lots of overlap, most people will switch back and forth, or like both. I myself am a character-first person and so you’d expect me to be more subtext but I’ve pivoted more into canon lately for sure. I was just telling my friend the other day about how on Peacock’s Vampire Academy, the two leads are SO ready-made to subtext ship, but so much time and energy was spent on their respective m/f relationships, as with Helen/Bloom above, I just didn’t have the time or energy for that fight. Or interest, to be fair, I suppose, if I was really into it, I’d make it work. 

Whichhhh, I do have the time and energy and interest to make J/7 work. No other pairing for either of them can compare for me. You had four full 26-ep seasons developing this extremely pivotal mutually transformative relationship that changed both of them and the constantly influenced Voyager plots, I cannot move on from that.

[dathen]

Saw a truly vile taker earlier so I have to write about the differences between asexuality and desexualization or I WILL explode on a molecular level.  This is gonna be long because I’ve been angry about this for Many Years and can’t take it anymore so BUCKLE IN.

There’s a popular attitude that asexuality + any other marginalized identity or experience is a sort of Forbidden Combination because it inherently “desexualizes” that identity.  This is a viewpoint that has drawn language from some genuine discussions of desexualization, but has been twisted and hyped by acephobes and exclusionists to the point where even people within those groups are afraid to write or headcanon characters that are asexual + disabled, female, a person of color, neurodivergent, mentally ill, trans, etc.

First and most importantly:  I cannot even put into words how damaging and stifling this is to those of us who are one of these “forbidden combinations.”  There’s this level of shame that often comes with the territory that often walls us off from more generalized positivity and support.  Acting like imagining or writing a character that resembles us is a Sin (tm) makes this SO much worse.  

For example, I am ADHD, most likely autistic, and asexual.  The first time I ever felt free to explore the idea of a character who is both asexual and neurodivergent was with a canonically asexual character, and it was the most remarkably freeing and exciting experience.  In my experience, having an ace headcanon for a character that even hinted at neurodivergence would get you dogpiled with accusations of ableism, so I avoided it for years and years out of fear--but I could FINALLY write about someone who resembled me!  I could finally explore how those two sides of me interact and interconnect!  I hate knowing that the reason why it’s more accepted to start with the ace character and add other headcanons was because of this idea that asexuality is a demeaning identity (conflating it with desexualization, which I’ll get into later), but regardless it’s been a great time.

...And now I’m seeing people insisting that, no, even if you’re starting with a canonically ace character, adding a headcanon for another marginalized identity is also bad and “desexualizes” that identity.  Now it’s a “these two things are never allowed near each other” rather than just “ace headcanons are bad for anything but a white, able-bodied, neurotypical, able-bodied, cishet man.”

All of the above completely disregards the actual execution of the writing for a harmful and lazy attitude of “never allow these two identities near each other.”  But execution matters.  Learning what desexualization actually is, and not treating it as a synonym with asexuality, is vital for undoing these attitudes.

Why is desexualization harmful?

This is highly summarized, but the gist is: 

- Infantilizing the person, treating them like they can’t be a consenting adult in a sexual situation.

- Depriving the person of agency, which ties into the above issue of treating them like they can’t consent.  This is also an overlapping issue with oversexualization, which treats a person like a sexual object regardless of their input.

- Treating the person as undesirable; the disgust reaction of “I hate imagining this person in a sexual/romantic situation, so let’s just wall them off from the possibility completely”

- In fandom, a character being dismissed or sidelined in circles that focus on romantic/sexual content.

These are also terrible things to portray about asexual people.  If the execution of an asexual character or headcanon includes the above, it’s demeaning and acephobic!  But if an asexual depiction does not include these elements, it is not desexualization.  

I want to keep this post fandom nonspecific since this is an issue EVERYWHERE I went, but the character in question for the “you can’t headcanon him as anything but white or it’s desexualization” accusation I saw (ironically written by a white person) a) is an adult, b) has confidently set boundaries for sexual activity, c) is unabashedly portrayed as receiving romantic interest & desire for the entire course of the show, and d) is the main character and almost always centered in fanworks.  It’s practically a checklist for why the above wouldn’t apply.  But with this lazy, harmful approach of “asexuality can’t be combined with any other marginalized identity,” it still gets the “problematic” label slapped on it.  And let me tell you, the asexual PoC in the discords I’m in were NOT happy with that post telling them “just :) think about why this is wrong :))”

TLDR: Before you accuse people of “desexualizing” a character by combining asexuality + another marginalized identity/experience, learn what desexualization actually is.  Learn how those elements also harm asexual people.  Embrace the reality that asexual people of many backgrounds and experiences exist, and we deserve the right to be portrayed and portray ourselves.  Learn the difference between a positive portrayal and one done to dismiss or demean a character.  And SUPPORT ASEXUAL PEOPLE instead of treating us like a demeaning identity.

[bronzeagepizzeria]

okay, just gonna respond to this one last time. it’s really not discourse—it’s the intention of the writer. it’s canon.

you mention the martha clone being different from tentoo—i agree. it proves tentoo ISNT a clone. the martha clone is sontaran manufactured and gets martha’s memories in live time. tentoo is literally a regeneration of the doctor. he’s the doctor’s consciousness waking up in a different body. martha is human-the same memories make a man thing doesn’t apply to her the way it does to time lords, because she is a different species

the ganger eleventh doctor is the eleventh doctor. amy herself acknowledges this. she cannot tell the difference between the two of them until the end of the episode, where she realises the both of them are the real doctor.

the creatures that imitate 14 and donna, again, are creatures with their own motivations and ideals. whereas tentoo is literally formed from his own regeneration energy.

‘he has ten’s memories and still committed genocide’—uh…yeah. that’s kind of the point? that’s why ten hates him. ten loathes himself. he knows he would’ve done the same thing. (what really tickles me about these posts is you guys love pretending the doctor hasn’t committed genocide before? it is definitely not ooc) ten has spent the last hour or so being berated by davros and being shown how he makes weapons of people he loves. he has been shown himself. and the doctor hates himself. his interactions with tentoo are quite obviously very intense projection.

the ‘you made me better’ thing is very obviously not a command for rose to “fix him”, it’s just him saying rose has always made him better. let’s keep in mind that it’s ten who loses his shit and goes absolutely crazy after this. he’s well aware that he needs her too. but he’s letting her go because he wants her to have a life with him.

as for your biggest contention…i will grant you this. journey’s end is a very rushed episode. this entire plot should’ve been given more time to breathe + tentoo/rose should’ve had more time together alone. but. rtd has very clearly said that he wrote and rewrote this scene to place the agency in rose’s hands. he never said “rose would run back to the tardis with ten/donna” he said rose must be the one making the choice here. and get this. rose chooses tentoo.

don’t get me wrong—ten is absolutely manipulating her into making a choice here. if it were up to her, she wouldn’t choose between them. how could she? imagine the man you love is now two people. it’s an impossible choice. but rose isn’t naive. she knows exactly what ten is pushing her to do. she knows what tentoo (and ten) are offering her. that’s why she stops him the first time he tries to leave. when she asks him what the end of that sentence was supposed to be, she’s taking the power back into her hands. and ten knows this as well. he knows the kiss is his final sentence, her final decision.

of course rose reacts the way she does when he does leave. no matter what, it’s bound to hurt that he left like that, without saying goodbye. it’s a very nuanced scene i’m glad made the cut. the emotions are bound to be messy.

as for billie piper’s dislike of tentoo…we’re all aware of it! how come you never bring up david tennant’s overwhelming support in favour of the tentoo storyline? or the fact that rtd intended this since the christmas invasion? it’s common knowledge that billie isn’t very into dw, and that’s okay. she’s just an actress doing her job and she does it fabulously, but i think rtd’s opinions on his own storyline matter more.

lastly, i agree with you. people like what they like and i get that this ending isn’t for everyone. i know some people like elevenrose and twelverose, which personally aren’t my thing, but i don’t go around posting about why those ships wouldn’t work in the tags where fans of that stuff can find them. is it too much to expect the same courtesy? it’s been 15 years. i’m sorry you didn’t like the, frankly, in my opinion, fabulous ending rose got. please just let us enjoy it though. cheers🙂

I've been seeing a lot of discourse about Rose and Tentoo on my dash lately and I thought I'd add my two cents. I have never been a fan of that ending for Rose. "He's Ten but human! He has Ten's memories!" That argument would hold a lot more weight if it weren't for the fact that earlier in the same season there was a clone of Martha who had Martha's memories and yet acted completely differently than Martha, showing that she was in fact not Martha but her own person. In the "Almost People" arc in season 6, we get a copy of Eleven with his memories, who again acts unlike Eleven and is his own person. In one of the new specials, we get copies of Fourteen and Donna, who also have their memories but are not them. So this whole "memories are what make the person" argument in Tentoo's favor just falls flat.

He had Ten's memories and yet still committed genocide. An act Ten was enraged at him for. So clearly they are in disagreement here, so Ten's memories didn't seem to do him any good as he still chose to do something Ten did not approve of. And why would anyone, least of all the Doctor, leave the woman he loves with a man who had just committed genocide!? It makes no sense to me for him to do that. If anything, one would have thought the Doctor would want to keep Rose as far away from Tentoo as possible after that.

"You changed me. You made me better. Now you can change him." Excuse me, Doctor, but it is not Rose's job to change him! She doesn't owe it to you, to him, or to anyone else to make make him better. She made you better by influence, not because she actively went "I can fix him." And expecting her to, is just wrong and that is not the healthy basis for a relationship.

The biggest reason, however, that I don't like this ending is that Rose wasn't given a choice. Ten didn't let her choose between him and Tentoo. He didn't tell her that Tentoo was human and then asked her if she wanted to stay and live her life with Tentoo. Nope. He told she was going to. "But she kissed Tentoo!" Only because he was the one who told her how he felt about her. Ten purposefully avoided answering her. And even after she kissed Tentoo and realized that Tardis was leaving with Ten and Donna in tow, she chased after them and looked heartbroken when she realized they were gone. Even RTD and Billie Piper have said that the ending was a cope out and that Rose wasn't given a choice. That if she had been, she would have chosen to return to the Tardis with Ten and Donna.

Perhaps if we had gotten a spin-off show about Rose and Tentoo's life, I could have warmed up to this ending, but we didn't. Instead all we got was Ten losing her again (this time of his own choosing) and then immediately losing Donna afterward and him being all alone. So yeah, not a happy ending in my book. If you like it, that's fine. I for one just cannot.

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON THE END OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY.

Dishonour! Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow! 

Well Jason Nation, it happened again, fanon wins over canon. The amount of bullshit that DC made Zdarsky write in this issue is insane, I have never seen this many fanfiction tropes shoved in a single issue in my life.

This book has been a constant insult to Jason’s character and his Red Hood “persona” since the very first issue but I never thought it would end this badly. It’s incredibly sad.

I will go ahead and say it, this tumblr and this post is not “Batfamily” friendly and it definitely isn’t fanon friendly when it comes to Jason Todd.

Fanon is destroying canon for Jason Todd. I am sorry but that’s how I see it, fanon doesn’t belong in canon, I would never get tired of saying that. But here is the thing, DC latches on to Jason’s fanon version because it fits their narrative of “the Batman is all that is right and all must follow his rules or they shall disappear”.

DC has been dying to make Jason bland and flavourless just like Batman. And now here it finally is.

Let’s be honest the story in this book, the new drug, Cheer, Tyler and his mom, none of that shaped this story, none of those things were the support beams for it. It was all about this never ending “daddy issues” thing that DC pretends is going on between Jason and Bruce.

It was all about those two fighting because they “think differently” so in the end they can push Jason towards the “no killing rule” being also the Red Hood’s modus operandi.

Its utter bullshit.

From the moment that Jason had to put a bat suit on I knew that this was going to be a mess. Luckily like I predicted they didn’t make a big deal out of him wearing it but the “Jason admires Batman” feeling was very present in the issue.

I will not talk about how easy it was for that one thug to land a punch on Jason while he was distracted and I will also not talk about Jason being a dumbass for not securing his dumb mask better when he knew the fight will involve gases. I will not talk about it.

Anyway, let’s talk about the Cheer Gas induced illusion, shall we?

In Jason’s illusion he finds Bruce at the manor looking at the picture of Joker’s death (?) and even though that is strange what Bruce says next is even weirder, he says this: “I did it. He was the last one, but I did it…Joker is dead. I am done.”

Now what the hell was that? This is Jason’s illusion, and by the looks of it in his illusion Bruce has killed every baddie in Gotham and left the Joker for last? Am I reading that right? Is this this a joke?

I understand that this is an illusion so the gas is making “real” things that Jason probably doesn’t know he wants, like wanting Bruce to go on a killing spree, which Jason never wanted because he said it himself, do you guys remember the iconic “I’m not talking about killing Cobblepot and Scarecrow or Clayface. Not Riddler or Dent…I’m talking about HIM. Just him.” Because I remember and it’s so important to Jason’s character, Jason never wanted Bruce to go on a killing spree, he wanted Bruce to kill the clown who had killed him when he was only fifteen. Is that so hard to remember DC?

And then it gets worse! Since WHEN has Jason wanted a perfect family life with the people that he has tried to kill, harm or looked down to? Why is “being with a bunch of people who NEVER get together for anything other than “help” the Bat in a fight against a fucking clown” the idea of happiness to Jason? Has this man ever interacted with any of these people in a positive way without the intrusion of a Batman/Robin event in the way? I will give you the answer, it’s no, the answer is no.

Jason Todd doesn’t care for your “Batfamily” bullshit DC, why would it matter to him? Because he was Robin? He was killed by the Joker when he was Robin, and he was killed because the man in charge of him didn’t pay enough attention! Jason Todd who was written as Dick Grayson’s number one hater for so long (and fandom loves that) is now having an illusion where he enjoys happy times with him along the others? Cass and Stephanie? What? Am I missing something, is this actually AO3, is this fanfiction?

I think Zdarsky got confused, this illusion is what would happen if Jason were dosed with fear gas. That must be it, I solved it everyone! Zdarsky just got confused by his own writing!

I wish.

Let’s go back to the sad reality, Jason has a moment in which he actually puts all his training in motion and shakes of the gas’s grasp on him. He does that but he is grabbed by so many people (who are this people?) and he is unarmed and I believe that’s the only reason why Cheer is still alive after saying that he has someone in Tyler’s mom’s hospital room ready to kill her if he doesn’t join him.

(If this were the real Jason, Cheer would have dropped dead instantly.)

But this is not the real Jason and this is not a *real* comic, it’s fanfiction! So just like that time in Batman #100 when Dick was fighting alone as Nightwing (for the first time since his “family” left him alone after losing his memories) the rest of the “family” shows up to fight Cheer and four random thugs.

Yep, its like the MCU had considered having Cap say “Avengers Assemble” when they were fighting a couple of robots instead of Thanos.

What a mess.

Also having Jason say, in real life (not illusion world), “You know what happiness is? It’s knowing that others have your back.” about this group of people is the perfect recipe for a big OOC moment for absolutely everyone. I cannot believe they have dragged Jason back to this awful concept and that they have sank him so low. It’s quite honestly, disgusting.

But the horrors don’t end there, we have a wonderful moment after Jason gives Batman the antidote, Jason stops Batman from punching the living shit out of Cheer. Because I am not stupid. There is no way in the world that you can convince me that Jason just stopped Batman from killing Cheer.

How incredibly delusional do you have to be to write Batman finally killing someone and that someone being Cheer, a guy that was introduced to comics two months ago?

Yes, later its said that between the gas and the antidote Bruce was a little too crazy and couldn’t help himself BUT I call bullshit once more, because Bruce has gone completely bat-shit-crazy on people before! I remember two recent instances in which that happened. Batman #57 in which Bruce beats the living shit out of KGBeast after he shot Dick. And the other one is Batman beating up Jason more brutally than he ever beat up Joker in RHatO #25.

DC cannot fuck with me. I might has bought this digital comic for 8 dollars but I am not buying that bullshit.

ALSO, there was no need for Zdarsky to do Jason as dirty as he did him when he made him say: “If you are going to come down from mount judgement to MY level for once… he’s not the guy to do it for.”

Zdarsky, why did you write a Red Hood story when you hate Red Hood? Couldn’t you have just told DC that you wanted to write a love letter to Batman? Once again, I am reading a Red Hood story for RED HOOD content not Batman content. Is it really that hard? I bet that if Zdarsky had asked DC to let him write a Batman story they would have said yes, there are like 20 Batman stories, they wouldn’t say no to one more!

Can you tell I am mad? And salty?

This post is so long and so full of anger, I am truly sorry for that but I have to write these feelings down or I would explode. And I am not even done, our suffering, Jason Nation, continues.

But first a little break from the pain, Tyler. Thank you after all the pain this book has given me Tyler is back and just like I predicted his mom is fine and he will stay with her, they both have been given a place and money to rebuild their life (not given by Jason nor Dick but I was close enough). The only happy ending that Tyler could have, he had and I am thankful for that, we even got a little adorable moment between the Red Hood and the Blue Hood.

I am weak for these little glimpses of a good Jason take in the middle of an incredibly awful/OOC story. And just to live in my own fantasy world I will headcanon that Jason promised himself to keep an eye out for Tyler and his mom. He would have wanted to know about their life and that they are still out of trouble.

Jason is a good man, don’t you forget that DC, I don’t care how much you twist it. Jason killing Tyler’s dad wasn’t a horrible act, it was fair game. That man was a horrible person, he drugged his child and made his wife (?) almost overdose. You never gave context as to why that man was working as a drug dealer but you told us those things so Jason should never feel like he did something wrong. As far as we know, Tyler and his mom are better off without him.

Having said that, lets go back to the pain of what is reading a Red Hood story.

“I’m giving up the guns.”

You know what, fine, as long as DC doesn’t pull another “I will stop being Red Hood for you Barbara” I will be fine. He can kill people with other things, he used to have the all-blades, he had normal swords and he had crowbars.

I will sacrifice Jason looking hot as hell when he pulls out his guns just to keep him as the Red Hood, all DC has to do is not give him that stupid… bat… symbol… oh no…. oh my god I can feel it… that thing, that horrible thing is making a comeback! NO!

Jason and Bruce’s talk is basic and it doesn’t do anything for anyone, in the end saying that Jason isn’t changing his ways for Bruce but that he is doing it for himself is more of the same. We know he is doing it for Bruce and we know DC is doing it because they cannot handle good, complex and interesting characters. We know that and sadly we have to live with it.

About Bruce’s illusion, well, Bruce has said that he wanted to kill the clown for a very long time and in the King run it was basically said that if Bruce were to be happy then the idea of Batman would die.

Listen, between me and you, sometimes I think that the Joker isn’t that big of a problem for Gotham as a whole, that clown has beef with the Bat and no one else. If Bruce has killed the Joker Jason would have been happy with Bruce all those years ago but killing the Joker wouldn’t make Gotham a safe place and any of his kids happier.

Bruce needs to care for his children, but he won’t do that, he has Dick for that. Taking care and raising Damian? No, thank you, I will not do that. Giving a shit about my son who lost all his memories and is alone? No thank you, I won’t do that and then I will lie about having watched him over. Tim? Oh, never heard of him, sorry.

The last page of this story is the one of Jason arriving home and finding a new suit that Bruce gave him with the bat symbol on it. That symbol that he had ripped off of Jason’s beat up body back in RHatO #25 (nope, I am not letting that one go).

Oh, and Bruce leaving that suit in Jason’s home gives me the same exact vibes as the time that Bruce was like “Long overdue. This is where you belong. As one of us. One of the family” in Nightwing #74 a second after Dick had regained his memories.

I don’t know why but they make him sound incredibly cold and like these people are just his pawns that he needs to rope back in every time they get away from him. It’s very disturbing.

Anyway, that’s all from me, I obviously LOVED this book, best Jason Todd/Red Hood characterisation ever! 11/10 would recommend to everyone including my enemies!

🙃

[heavenbarnes]

what’s your poison?

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings/Contains: a cheating ex boyfriend, alcohol, unprotected sex (please use protection), oral sex (female receiving), handjob, dirty talk, swearing, joking during sex cause i’m fun, pulling out onto stomach, bucky has a dog, new zealand english cause i wrote the start on my phone

Word Count: 5.5k

if you try and tell me you’ve never fallen in love with your bartender before, i hope you know you’re a liar! anyways, this is fun and it doesn’t mean anything so enjoy (so i guess this is technically an au, but could also not be cause there is references to in-canon shit) x

You wouldn’t say you were proud of finding solace in a bar, especially not one with those tacky red neons and a floor sticky enough to have you frozen in place.

But here you are, perched up on that high stool by the window, notebook spread open in front of you with a pen resting on your lower lip.

Funny thing about heartbreak, the world doesn’t stop moving around you, even when you wish it did. So when you come home to your roommate fucking your boyfriend, you still have to live in that house cause finding rentals is near impossible.

And when living in that house feels damn suffocating, you have to sit in the bar down the street doing the work that is kicking your ass, because people don’t stop filing reports when your heart gets broken.

Wasn’t the first time the world made it blaringly obvious that it didn’t revolve around you, but sometimes the ignorance is bliss.

Scribbling out yet another data set, you knew your life wasn’t about to get any easier, but even you had to admire your own perseverance. So did Astrid, the sweet waitress that was swapping your empty glass with a full one.

You smiled at her, picking up the drink and giving it a sniff, screwing your nose up slightly. “You’re very kind but this smells strong and I’m still working.”

“It wasn’t me, I’m just the messenger,” She returned your smile as she cleaned the little drops of soda from your last drink. “Bucky figured you needed it by the look on your face.”

Casting a glance over Astrid’s shoulder you caught eyes with the bartender, the one who’d already been looking at you but turned away once you caught his eye. You lent him a smile nonetheless, just in case he was looking.

Stirring the drink with your paper straw, you came in to take a sip, immediately feeling the flavours flood over your tongue. Bucky was onto something, you definitely needed this and about 17 others after it.

“Tell him I say thank you.” You gave her a sheepish little grin as you took another sip of his creation.

The thing about Bucky was, he didn’t say a hell of a lot but he was a god with his hands. Not like that, like when he was shaking cocktails. But you were sure he was probably good in that way too.

Six foot three and broad in just about every way, long hair and that brooding kind of look on his face. He might’ve been the reason you picked this bar out of the ten or so others littering the stretch.

He’d quietly mix your drinks with those large hands (even his prosthetic hand was big, dark metal glinting under the neon lights), always making you exactly what you needed. Sometimes, if you timed it right, you could see him watching you out of the corner of your eye.

That should’ve been weird, quiet guy that won’t even introduce himself to you watches you from across a bar. But Bucky made it different, something in you liked the way he stared.

Astrid had been the only one you told about your now ex-boyfriend, but from your hospitality experience, word spreads quick behind a bar. You didn’t mind, it got you free drinks and kindness from the other waitresses as they swirled around you.

Beanie, who was studying business on the side, would sit with you as you worked out your spreadsheets. She asked you mountains of questions that never got annoying, felt nice to be valued around here.

Every day that you left work, you’d sneak back to your apartment, avoiding your roommate by timing it with when you knew she’d be at the gym. Quickly changing your clothes, you slipped back out into the city and headed for the bar.

You kept it quiet with where you spent your evenings, not wanting your boss to think you had a problem with all your time spent there. But you knew that it was very seldom there was actually alcohol in your drinks, mainly just new mocktails Bucky was trialing and testing on you.

That’s how the two of you communicated, he’d make a drink, a waitress would bring it over, you’d sample it and she’d feed the feedback back to him. A rather outdated system that could be solved by you both picking up your nuts and speaking to one another.

But that’d mean hearing each other’s voice, incredibly intimate when you’ve drawn it out this long. You’d have to have something to talk about, be alone in each other’s presence, admit that there was-

Now what was there?

Every night of every week you were there until closing, walking with Astrid to her car, Bucky trailing a few steps behind the both of you. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was making sure you both made it safely. As soon as you both got in, he climbed on his motorcycle and wouldn’t see him again until the next evening.

The moment Astrid dropped you at your apartment, you’d sneak inside, thanking the gods that your roommate was asleep so you didn’t have any awkward hallway interactions. Instead, you lay in the centre of your bed and strangely enough, you thought of your bartender without a voice to even put to the man.

The next evening you were there, you found your mind straying from the work in front of you and heading into the conversation of the waitresses floating around you.

“No, but she’s like gorgeous,” Beanie groaned, putting her notepad in the pocket of her apron. “Bucky is so lucky, she’s just a dream.”

Your ears pricked up at the sound of his name being dropped, and without being able to control it, you found yourself travelling to a million different realities. Of course he had a girlfriend, a man that looks like that and makes a Singapore Sling that good cannot be single.

There was truly no reason to be sad right now, he wasn’t yours and never was. But maybe you enjoyed him paying special attention to you, especially after what the last guy did to you. Astrid did tell you that Bucky was a bit stone cold sometimes, he never used this special treatment on anyone else.

So here you were thinking you were special, and here was the universe pulling you into line again, reminding you in no uncertain terms that the world didn’t revolve around you.

You drank Bucky’s mew mocktails, but they didn’t taste as fun when you knew they weren’t genuine. Sure maybe the care was genuine, but there wasn’t anything behind it. You screwed up your face when you heard your own thoughts, you sounded like an actual fuckboy right now.

Gone are the days of alarmingly handsome men being able to gift a Moscow Mule in peace, no sex attached. You just had to go and set the women’s rights movement back a few years.

You scolded yourself silently, taking another sip of the drink and enjoying Bucky’s talents. You weren’t even in the headspace for a new man at the moment, so where were you getting off hoping the guy was single?

Lifting your head towards the bar, you found those blue eyes back on you. He stuttered for a moment, realising he’d been caught staring, so he lifted his eyebrow almost to say “what do you think?”

A smile formed on your face of its own accord, lifting your hand into a thumbs up you mouthed back “pretty damn good.”

And for the first time since you’d been coming here, you saw it. You saw the corners of Bucky’s pretty lips turn up into a smile as he nodded, looking awful proud of himself.

God damn it, your brain knew you weren’t ready but your heart didn’t seem to give a fuck.

Another night at the bar and as you came inside, your eyes went to your normal seat, only to find somebody already sitting in it. After a long day at work, you couldn’t help the childish groan drift out of your lips.

“I know,” Astrid caught you mid grumble as she started walking you over. “But there is a seat right here at the bar.”

Putting you in a stool, she wiped down the surface in front of you so you could lay out your papers to keep working. She gave your shoulders a squeeze and happened to hit the right spot, maybe it was her girlfriend you needed to be jealous of.

As she went to leave you be, you heard her call over her shoulder. “Bucky, she’s here.”

Your head snapped up, heat rising in your cheeks as Astrid scurried away to serve her tables. From the service door, a large frame took all of it up as Bucky appeared before you.

Watching the way his eyes scanned the room, they fixed on the spot you usually sat at before his brow furrowed in confusion. It wasn’t until his gaze drifted down and caught you at the bar, he nearly jumped in fright.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think Astrid tells him when you arrive every night, like it’s something he looks forward to. You gave him a smile and a pathetic little wave as you tried to calm yourself down. The man has a girlfriend, he isn’t waiting for you.

Bucky smiled back, seemingly looking just as nervous as you felt. He quickly raised one finger, as if asking you to wait, before he spun around and started grabbing different bottles from the back shelf.

As you watched him work, you smelt a breeze of perfume drift past you, one that had become familiar. You reached out and grabbed Beanie by the wrist, deciding now was the best time to put yourself out of your misery.

“Bucky’s girlfriend must be the luckiest person on earth, with a man who makes drinks like that.”

Beanie scrunched up her nose in confusion, looking between the two of you.

“Girlfriend? You know something I don’t?”

You studied her gaze, matching that look of lacking in understanding.

“He must have a girlfriend, right?”

“Oh, the only woman in Bucky’s life is his dog, Daybreak,” She laughed, turning on her heel to leave. “You should see her, she’s gorgeous.”

A dog, a fucking dog. You’ve been stewing every night for about a week over a fucking dog. A curt laugh slipped past your lips and you didn’t even try to stop it, top tier stupidity and you actually deserved it.

Bucky turned to look over his shoulder, caught off guard by your chuckle as he’d missed the whole conversation over the noise of the bar. He just smiled, stirring the glass in front of him before sliding it across to you.

Sniffing it first, like you always did, it smelt heavenly like winter mint. Taking the first sip, it went down ridiculously well and you nodded in content before flashing Bucky a thumbs up. He placed his right hand over his heart nodding back to you. Your silent communication always said enough.

Bucky made you two more of those minty little things as you kept studying your spreadsheets. The bar patrons moved around you as the hours ticked on and you were so enveloped in your work it made you jump when you heard your name.

That and the voice that the word floated off of.

Turning in your stool, your ex boyfriend stood before you with his hands clasped together. Shaking your head, you went to spin back around but he stepped forward, hand reaching for your upper arm.

“I know you don’t want to see me but please let me explain.”

“Normally I’d say ‘fuck off’, but I’d love to hear an explanation for how you ended up fucking my roommate.”

He grimaced at the sound of you throwing his mistake back in his face. But truthfully, if he didn’t like the sound of it, maybe he shouldn’t have cheated.

“I know I fucked up, it was so stupid but it didn’t mean anything.”

“When did it stop meaning something? The third time? Maybe the 15th time? Please, enlighten me.”

A part of him seemed shocked, that you weren’t folding like a hand of cards and letting him take you home. Stupid boy should’ve realised you were a whole person before he met you, you’d go on without him.

“Alright, I know I deserve all this but I just want my baby back.”

You almost responded, your mouth opened to say something- anything, but someone else cut you to the chase.

“Your baby back? This isn’t Ruby-fucking-Tuesday’s, but you’re more than welcome to get the hell out of my bar.”

Turning behind you, you saw large hands gripping the wooden legs, squared up and unafraid. It didn’t register with you that this was the first time you’d heard Bucky’s voice until it was too late. A shiver shifted down your spine as you watched the way he stared the other man down.

“And who the hell are you?” Your ex had always been stupid, never knew when to stop running his mouth and keep it away from other girls.

“I’m the one that’s been keeping ‘your baby’ company each night since you fucked up so bad.”

Not to set the women’s rights movement back another few years, but there was something quite lovely about being fought over. Picking your drink back up, you sipped it slowly as you watched Bucky refuse to back down.

“You don’t know the first thing about her.”

“I know she’s far too smart to be wasting her time with you, so I won’t say it again, get the hell out of my bar.”

Your ex looked to you, stupidly thinking he’d find reprieve with you. Shrugging your shoulders and turning your gaze to Bucky you finally spoke. “This is delicious, you really are gifted.”

And with his tail tucked between his legs, you watched your ex trudge out of the bar, silently hoping that would be the last time you saw his sorry ass.

The only thing about him leaving was the silence that now sat between yourself and Bucky, having to come to terms with the fact your quiet little knowings have now become incredibly loud.

Still sipping away at your drink, thankfully Bucky found the notion to speak first. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get involved-“

Thinking he was finished you spoke up. “Please don’t apologise, I loved it.” As you were speaking, he finished with, “I really care about you.”

That shut the both of you up, back to quiet as you looked at each other across the bar. Patrons kept milling about around you but the world seemed to stop for you. In your own head, you asked for a sign, a sign that you should risk it all.

Bucky’s tongue came out to run across his lower lip and you swore you saw stars.

That wouldn’t normally stand as a sign but you were fine with a reach, you’d already decided he could’ve sneezed and that would work.

“You know, uh,” You cleared your throat, placing down your now empty glass. “I’ve always wondered what it was like to be on a motorcycle.”

Bucky nodded slowly in understanding, pulling the rag off his shoulder and placing it against the counter. “I’ve always wanted to show you what it’s like.”

“What time do you clock off?”

“Now, now’s good.”

The sound of your stool scraping against the wood floor drew Astrid’s gaze up as she moved through the crowd between the tables. Stopping beside your usual spot, she stood beside the man who’d taken your seat that night.

“Thank you, Albert,” She passed him the twenty dollar note. “It was about time they got moving.”

There was something incredibly intimate about being within close proximity of Bucky, let alone having him sat between your legs as your arms closed even tighter around his waist. You swore he zipped in and out of traffic on that bike just so you’d get even closer, and you were reasonably thankful for it.

Going from only hearing his voice moments before to being so close to him you could smell the Calvin Klein aftershave? There was a lot going on and it was enough to make your head spin. So you chose to relax into him, as much as you could with the helmet locked around your head.

You were nearly going to pout when you arrived at his house, but the moment he stretched his hand out to take yours and walk you in, he wasn’t leaving you with much to feel sorry about.

Now, there are many dangers about walking into a single man’s apartment, mainly the state it could be in. Bucky’s was beautiful, dark furniture and well looked after, everything was tidy and it actually smelt nice. You’d think he was straight out of the 40′s with manners and charm like this.

As you gazed around in awe of the first male apartment you’d been in without a fist-sized hole in the wall, you felt something brush against your legs. Looking down, you found a husky nearly at your hip height, bright blue eyes like her dad’s.

“Daybreak, go easy on her.” Bucky sounded from the kitchen, he’d already made his way in and started fishing around.

“That’s okay, you’re even more beautiful than I was told.” You cooed, your voice immediately catering just for her as you scratched around her ears.

“They told you about her?” Bucky chuckled as he worked, two highball glasses in front of him and a dark liquor starting to pour.

Your cheeks glowed hot as you thought about whether or not you should tell him of your monumental fuck up from earlier. Maybe he’d laugh? Or maybe he’d think you were a sociopath? Better to get it out now you supposed.

“I heard them talking, and I thought they were referring to your girlfriend, so they just cleared that up for me.” You caught Daybreak’s eye, busying yourself with her so you couldn’t see the gorgeous man stood a metre away and laughing at you.

“Yes, my incredibly fluffy girlfriend with disgusting breath and a habit of standing on my back when I sleep.” He shook his head, squeezing lime into the glass along with what you thought might’ve been bitters.

“Hey, whatever you’re into, I’m not going to judge!” You put your hands up in defense before going back to fluffing Daybreak’s coat.

Bucky stirred the drinks before sliding one across the counter top to you. Raising back up, you gratefully accepted it as he began to speak again. “You weren’t jealous were you?”

Your eyes widened, thinking on it for a moment with as much expression as possible. Avoiding the question entirely, you took a sip, feeling the warm ginger taste roll through you. 

“What do you call this one?”

“Answer my question and I’ll tell you.”

Narrowing your eyes, you bit the bullet. “I might’ve been a little jealous.”

“This one is called a ‘howling commando’, why were you jealous?”

“Raunchy name, I love it! What was the other minty one called?”

Bucky’s grin widened as he knew exactly what game you were playing, he couldn’t deny he was looking forward to a little tussle.

“Answer my question and I’ll tell you, those are the rules.”

You scrunched up your nose before giving in, he was hot and he had rules, there was simply no denying this man. “Maybe because you make me want to do very bad things to you.”

Bucky’s jaw went slack, but the corners of his mouth tweaked up into a smile as he thought carefully on his next move.

“The minty one is called a ‘winter soldier’, can you tell me what those very bad things are?”

Wrapping your lips around your paper straw, you kept your eyes closely fixed on his as you shrugged your shoulders. You drew back, letting the straw rest in the centre of your tongue as he followed your movements with intrigue.

“Or maybe I could just show you?”

With a swift movement, Bucky cleared the table with one hand and the other snaked around your waist, pulling you tight to his chest. You felt his lips glide across yours, as soft as you’d imagined and that bite of alcohol resting just past them.

Your hands came up to fist at his shirt, tugging him down so you could slip your tongue in and against his. He brought his other hand down to rest just behind your knee, picking you up in a swift motion and placing you against his kitchen counter.

Legs locking around him, you pulled him in as you gripped at his flannel over shirt to push it off his shoulders. Bucky took the hint, stripping the shirt off before getting onto his t-shirt. He stood before you bare-chested and beautiful, so much so that your breath caught in your throat.

A hint of a smirk started on his face but you shook your head, not prepared to let him have the joy of catching you off guard. You took his jaw in your hands and brought him back to your lips, reveling in the feeling of him on you.

Feeling his hands go for your waistband, you lifted your hips to let him get rid of your bottoms, the cold of kitchen tile against the backs of your thighs.

“You are so fucking beautiful, been thinking of you since the day you walked into my bar.”

Giggling into his mouth, you ran your hands down his neck and into the hair at the nape, tugging slightly. “I could say the same about you, pretty boy.”

You could’ve sworn Bucky growled, but you weren’t given enough time to dwell on it as he began to ease you back until you lay against the counter. His fingers went to the band of your underwear, slowly easing those down your legs.

Here you were, spread out in this mans kitchen like dinner and he was going to eat his share. A shiver ran through you that you could pinpoint to excitement as you felt his breath gently ghost over you.

His hands ran from your thighs all the way up to the hem of your shirt, sliding it up your body and underneath to palm at your chest. You knew he had big hands, it was one of the first things you noticed, but you weren’t prepared for how good they’d feel when he held you.

The moment you felt his mouth come down against your pussy, your whole back arched off the bench. You gripped at his forearms, nails digging in slightly as you rolled your lower half into his mouth. His tongue came out, running along your slit and moving against your clit.

You’d definitely been swindled into a shit deal with your ex, it never felt anything like this and Bucky had only just started. His name fell out of your throat as his tongue sped up, moving back down to your entrance and making your eyes nearly rolled back in your head.

Bucky pulled back one of his hands for only a moment so he could hook your legs over his shoulders, before he grabbed back at your breasts. The contrast between the rough skin of his fingers tweaking at your nipple, and the smooth metal on the other was driving you wild.

“How are you so good at this, what the fuck?” You babbled, back going up against as he flicked the tip of his tongue at your clit.

He chuckled into you, the sounds vibrating off of where you were most sensitive and hitting you straight in the core. You’d never had a man pay this much attention to you, know exactly where to go and what to do. It was damn near overwhelming and this was the bare minimum, god you’d been missing out.

Bringing one hand down, he pressed two fingers to your clit as his tongue moved back down. The pressure of his skilled digits against you and the speed of his tongue, you were doing your best to cry out his name but it wasn’t coming out right. Your brain couldn’t keep up with everything else.

Pressing your foot into his shoulder, you slipped your hand into his hair, locking into the roots and tugging tight against them. A moan fell out of Bucky and straight against you, rocking your pussy up against his lips. You had to forget everything you thought you knew about men. 

This was a man and he was going to change your life.

He swapped his fingers, slowly sliding them into you as his tongue moved back to your clit. The minute he bent those metal digits up, still pumping his wrist and working his mouth, it was all over.

You clenched down around him, his name flew high into the air as you shook against him, your wetness covering his chin as he moved to lap it up. Like a good boy, he let you get your breath, pulling back and cleaning off his fingers with his tongue.

“Don’t do that in front of me, you’ll make my heart stop.” You joked, throwing your arm over your eyes.

Bucky chuckled, taking a knee in each hand where you’d clamped your thighs together, slowly easing them apart. He tugged you along the bench until your legs were wrapped around him again.

“I can’t believe I just came, and that hard.” You admitted, finally able to cope with it all.

“That’s kind of the point, pretty baby.”

“Yeah but you haven’t even?”

The soft little patterns Bucky was tracing on your thigh came to a halt, almost making you whinge. He looked down at you with an expression of pure confusion before speaking up. 

“Wait, did your ex never make you come during foreplay?”

“Are you kidding?” You snorted, propping yourself up on elbows. “He barely made me come during sex.”

Bucky shook his head, looking physically wounded by what you were telling him. “Oh baby, this isn’t even for pleasure anymore, this is an act of service.”

You snorted at him, gripping his arms so you could pull yourself up to sitting. He tugged you even further until you were flush against him. His face was so close to yours, every part of him was so close.

“You’re being goofy, you’re lucky I think you’re hot.”

It was his turn to laugh, before he slipped his hand down, undoing his belt with a little of your assistance. As he shuffled his jeans and briefs down, you brought your hand to wrap around his length, and it nearly put you back on your ass.

So soft and remarkably beautiful for a dick, it was heavy as all hell as you wrapped your fingers around. So thick and built for two hands to stroke it, you knew that no matter what happened from here on out, you wouldn’t be forgetting about him soon.

“I knew you had a big dick, I could tell from the way you walked,” You said, spitting into your hand so you could stroke him. “But this is just fucking unreal.”

Bucky tried to laugh but you twisted your wrist at just the right time, it filtered off into a moan as his head dipped into the crook of your neck. “And you say I’m the goofy one.”

“Is baby getting all shy, can’t handle the fact he’s hung like a fucking horse?” You teased, running your fingers over his head.

Sucking in a breath, his hands came to grip your hips as you kept jerking him, simply enjoying the way he felt in your hands. “It is far too early for me to be telling you that if you keep talking like that, it will make me come.”

Dropping your mouth open, you turned towards him but ended up nuzzling your nose in his hair. His shampoo smelt incredible, not like a 3-in-1 but like an actual shampoo.

“Bucky, you are a fucking freak, I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

Pulling back from your neck, he gave you the toothiest grin before tipping his head back with a heady moan that made your pussy clench. He looked so beautiful moaning for you, completely at your will with his cock in your hand.

There was something so refreshing about this, your ex never let you have fun during sex, it was always so boring and so incredibly serious. You’d never laughed so much, played so much, and still come so hard your vision whited out.

Bucky took your hand off his dick, wrapping his own it as you tipped your hips back slightly. He lined up, laying his head against your entrance where you needed him most. He slowly slid in as your arms wrapped around his shoulders and gripped tight.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as he moved in, the stretch and burn something you hadn’t felt in a wee while, it took over you as he did his best to be gentle. You were starting to understand the meaning of “rearranging guts” as he got to the hilt.

You paused for a moment, breathing through as Bucky strained with all his might to not move. He’d never felt something so fucking tight and so fucking warm, he would lay money on it that you were made for him and he was always meant to find you.

Finally, you tapped on his shoulder and signaled him to move. He rolled his hips into you, the first few thrusts to find his rhythm before he really picked up. Your ankles crossed over above his ass, keeping him as close to you as you could as his speed increasingly picked up.

“God, this pussy feel so fucking good.” He groaned, hands coming down to lift your shirt back up.

You pulled it over your head, throwing it behind you with your bra as his hands immediately gripped back onto them. Lowering slightly, he brought his mouth to one of your nipples, lips wrapping around and sucking gently as his hips never let up.

Raking your fingers through his hair, you thought about those incredible noises he’d made moments before. Tugging gently, you earnt yourself another moan that rippled through you as you rolled your hips back into his.

“Bucky, faster,” Panting out your words, you gripped him tighter. “I want you to fuck me like you mean it.”

Bucky’s eyes cast up to you, locking with yours and in an instant he changed. One hand gripped your hip and the other braced against the counter as he surged forward into you. A rippling cry travelled out of your chest and broke in your throat, a pathetic moan replacing it.

“You calling me nasty but I think you’re just as bad as I am, hmm?”

You smiled up at him, leaning back slightly so he could watch the way your tits bounced for him as he fucked you. “I never said I wasn’t, I was the one who wanted to do the bad things.”

Bucky lent down, nose to nose with you and lips nearly touching. “You weren’t the only one who was thinking like that.”

His lips caught yours again as his tongue moved straight into your mouth. He pulled you back onto him and made your whole body tense up on him, a ridiculously good rhythm that was making your legs shake.

Slipping a hand in between you, his fingers worked quick against your clit as you tried to match his movements. Everything was becoming increasingly difficult as you could feel your second orgasm working its way through you.

“You’re so good, you make incredible drinks and you’re really good at this too.” You cried, gripping onto his forearm as your back arched up.

Hearing him chuckle through his staggered breaths, his fingers only picked up against where you were most sensitive. “You make spreadsheets look sexy, holy fuck.”

You would’ve laughed, it was a pretty good one, but the orgasm that tore straight through you only allowed you to cry his name. Pussy locked tight around him you nearly left the table as everything broke inside you. The tension that’d he’d created was cut and you came with a near scream.

Bucky coaxed you through it, telling you how pretty you were, how good you looked. All you could do was whimper for him, aftershocks moving through you as he worked closer to his own end.

You opened your eyes to see him in front of you, fisting his cock above you as he panted your name. You’d never heard or seen something quite as good as this, he was something else entirely.

He came with a cry, painting across your stomach as he fell against the bench top. The both of you frozen in time, collecting yourselves and letting your brains set back to normal. Propping yourself back up, you looked at the gorgeous man lent over the sink.

“I know you’ve just put in the hard work,” You reasoned gesturing to your state. “But I could really do with another drink.”

[wistfulcynic]

till we be dead ourselves

I saw a thing today that made me a bit cross and reminded me of how unsatisfying I've always found the Brothers Jones reunion in the underworld. This is the result. It's not anti-Liam but it does change him quite a lot from canon, so if that's not your jam you may want to skip this one.

Basically, this is the Brothers Jones I would have liked to see.

Also, at least part of the inspiration came from chatting with @thesschesthair and @winterbythesea about alternative POVs on our OTP. So here, guys, have a Liam. Beware, there are feels. 

SUMMARY: Liam Jones has been waiting for his brother for three hundred years. When he finally arrives, he's not as Liam remembers. Some not-typical or particularly respectful of canon Brothers-Jones-in-the-underworld feels, plus a dash of Captain Swan.

words: 2025 rating: T tags: not canon compliant, underworld AU, brothers jones. Major characters are already dead. 

on AO3

-

till we be dead ourselves: 

He’s been waiting a long time for this. Three hundred years. 

Well, two hundred ninety-three years and eighty-six days, to be precise. He knows because he looked it up. He had to. It’s not easy keeping track of time here; some seconds tick so slowly they’re torture while years can pass in the blink of an eye. 

Years, such as they are. There aren’t really years in this place, or truly ‘time’ at all. There’s not really anything. This is nothingness, a void, a repository for whatever souls are made of, and different to each one. They’re trapped here, these souls, until they finish whatever business still remains for them, and over the centuries he’s seen so many come and go—some sorrowfully confused by what they need to do, others firmly certain. 

As for Liam Jones, he’s always known why he’s here. His unfinished business is Killian. 

On the day Killian arrives Liam can barely contain his excitement. Not just because he may finally be free of this place but because he longs to see his little brother again. He’s missed Killian, and also he’s keen to know what the devil took him so long. How is it possible that his brother’s life stretched on for over three hundred years? 

He walks quickly through the town—an odd little town, unlike any he encountered while alive. His afterlife has manifested it for only a few years. Before that it was ships and ports and then it was jungle. Ships and jungle, jungle and ships for so very, very long. He’s come to realise that his afterlife reflects what his brother does Above, though what precisely that consisted of he is not privileged to know. He’s hoping Killian will tell him. 

He knocks on the door of a large, blue house and waits, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. When it opens he turns with a smile that freezes on his face. 

The man framed in the doorway is his brother, unmistakably him, yet Liam finds he’s not prepared for how much Killian has changed. He feels foolish for being taken so by surprise; of course Killian is not what he remembers. He’s not still the eager young lieutenant he was when Liam died, obviously not. He couldn’t be. 

But the man before him is… hard. Jaw set and eyes cold, with an aura of both danger and command. A man not to be trifled with. His face is still youngish—mid-thirties, perhaps—but his eyes are ancient. Tired and bitter and heavy with the weight of ages, and abruptly Liam feels very, very young. 

“K-killian?” he ventures. 

Killian’s brow wrinkles in confusion that lasts an uncomfortable beat or two, and then it clears. His eyes widen. “Liam,” he breathes. “Is it really you?” 

“It’s me, brother.” Liam attempts a smile again. “I’ve been waiting for you.” 

“Bloody hell.” 

Killian pulls him into a hug which he returns warmly, though the sound of curse words on his brother’s lips has stunned him. He smells of leather, and of the sea. And rum. Liam blinks through a fresh wave of astonishment. Killian has been drinking. Drinking rum. 

Killian pulls back from the hug but keeps his hand on Liam’s shoulder. His eyes are crinkled by a smile that Liam can’t help noticing barely touches the depth of sadness in them. “It’s good to see you, brother,” he says. 

“You’ve changed,” Liam blurts, then curses his impulsive tongue when the smile fades from his brother’s face. 

“Aye,” Killian says. “It’s been some time.” 

“Three hundred years, give or take,” Liam agrees. “How? How was it that long?” 

“Perhaps you’d better come in, Liam,” Killian says. He steps back and holds the door. “We’ve rather a lot to discuss.” 

-

Liam spends that first night in his brother’s house. Killian seems at a bit of a loss for what to do with himself in all the space and curiously reluctant to speak of why his afterlife has manifested such a dwelling just for him. Of course the dead don’t truly sleep, but Liam passes the night deep in thought, still in shock over what he’s learned about life his brother led. 

Killian is Captain Hook. A pirate. A man whose name Liam has heard in hushed whispers on the lips of many a soul who’s passed through this place. None of those whispers spoke of anything good. 

He cannot reconcile his little brother, even three hundred years of bitter loss and violent struggle later, as the cruel and vengeful villain of those tales. He cannot. It’s simply not possible. 

“Much of what they recounted was likely exaggerated,” Killian said wryly, “or hearsay. But I’ve done much I’m not proud of, Liam. I killed men without a second thought. I plundered lands across the realms. I have not led a good life.” 

“Then why are you here?” Liam demanded. “If you were as bad as all that, you wouldn’t end up in limbo.” 

“Perhaps I may have done enough in the past few years to warrant a chance at redemption,” Killian reflected. “I suppose we’ll see.” 

“And do you know what your unfinished business is?” 

Killian swallowed visibly, then nodded. “I believe I do.” 

-

Over the next week Liam keeps an eye on his brother. It’s not that he’s concerned—well, yes, it is that he’s concerned. There’s a restless energy to Killian that makes Liam uneasy, worried that he might do something rash. So he watches, from a distance, as Killian sets about finishing his business. He watches his brother seek out many of the men who bore the tales about him, those who still remain at least. He sees the fear in those men’s faces, and the anger. Sometimes he hears their voices, raised and vicious. It pains him to witness these things—not least the shame on Killian’s face—but he forces himself not to interfere. 

His brother is not a man to be trifled with. 

One day he observes Killian deep in conversation with a woman, dark-haired and statuesque. They stand close together in the manner of those who’ve shared a deep intimacy, and even from a distance he can see that they are crying. Killian pulls the woman into his arms where she weeps into his shoulder, and before they part he presses his lips to hers. 

It’s farewell. 

With every interaction Killian’s burden lessens, though he remains weighed down by things Liam can barely fathom. Each night they meet at the blue house, where they sit together and talk. They have three hundred years of catching up to do. As they talk Killian drinks, and Liam has begun to as well. He senses his brother could use company in more than conversation, and it’s not like alcohol can harm the dead. It doesn’t do them much good either, but the phantom rum seems to soothe Killian, and loosen his tongue. 

Though not enough, Liam comes to realise, for Killian to speak of why he’s really here. 

-

Her arrival sparks an uproar such as Liam has never experienced, even in all the time he’s passed in this place. She shouldn’t be here. She can’t be here. It’s not possible. 

Yet here she is. 

Word of it spreads like wildfire; Liam is polishing glasses at the bar where he inexplicably works when it reaches his ears. 

“They say she’s alive,” says one of the regulars, in hushed tones. “Alive, and here.” 

“That’s impossible,” Liam scoffs. “None of the living can come here. And even if they could why would they want to?” 

“She’s here to rescue someone,” the regular replies. “Her true love. That makes it possible, or so they say.” 

“And the man died in sacrifice,” another adds. “Huge sacrifice, before his time.” 

Before his time, Liam thinks. That should rule Killian out. Yet he can’t shake this feeling, this creeping suspicion born of Killian’s refusal to discuss how he died, or how he lived these past few years. There’s a reason this town is his afterlife, and Liam’s too. There’s a reason he’s alone in that big house. 

He sets the glass down, and the rag. “I have to go,” he says. 

-

It couldn’t be more obvious that the woman doesn’t belong. She’s visibly, ostentatiously alive, so full of life she glows. It draws the souls—ghoulishly, Liam thinks—but none dare approach too closely. The woman looks as though if anyone could kill a soul that’s already dead, it’s her. 

She heads down Main Street and Liam follows. Past the diner and the library, around the corner and up the street where Killian lives. A tight knot forms in Liam’s chest as she walks up to the blue house then stops, with her hand on the gate. 

The door flies open and Killian appears on the porch. He stares at the woman, who offers him a smile that strikes Liam as far too tremulous for her take-no-prisoners demeanour. 

“Swan,” Killian chokes. His voice sounds broken. “What are you doing here?” 

“I came to save you,” the woman replies. She opens the gate and takes a few steps forward. Killian stumbles off the porch to close the distance between them. 

“You shouldn’t have come,” he says. “You shouldn’t be here, not here. Not you.” 

“I had to, Killian!” She looks up at him imploringly. “You shouldn’t have died like that. You shouldn’t have had to make that choice.” 

She takes his hand and laces their fingers tighter. Killian’s breath catches. “Come back with me, Killian. Come home.” 

“I can’t,” he whispers.

“You can. I know a way.” Her voice drops as she steps closer, but Liam can still hear her words. “Don’t try to make me live the rest of my life without you, Killian Jones,” she says. “I won’t do it.” 

“Swan—” 

“I won’t do it,” she repeats. “I love you.” 

Liam can see the moment Killian breaks. He snatches the woman into his arms, holds her tightly as she clings to him and magic twines palpably around them. This is not what he had with the brunette, Liam realises. That was love, yes, and intimacy. It was grief, deep and terrible but of a normal sort. 

This is agony. This is two souls that should never have been parted and the connection that still binds them, so powerful it can draw a living woman into the land of the dead. 

No wonder Killian couldn’t speak of her, Liam thinks, or of the circumstances of his death. The pain must have been too great. 

Liam’s been dead so long he’s forgotten how sensitive a subject it can be. 

The man died in sacrifice, he recalls. Huge sacrifice, before his time. 

He died for her. And now she’s here to bring him back. 

-

“This feels too soon,” Killian says, as he hugs Liam tight. “I only just found you again.” He pulls back and gives his brother a shrewd look. “And I sense that when I’m here again, you no longer will be.” 

“No,” Liam agrees. His business is finished now. And Killian’s not coming back, not to this place. Not if Emma Swan has anything to say about it. The next time Killian Jones dies it will be with his life’s purpose fully met. 

He’s glad they had this time, though, and not just because he needed it to move on. He’s glad he got to know his brother as a man, a flawed and troubled one, yes, but one who has goodness at his core and is finally where he needs to be. It only took three hundred years for him to get there. 

He’s also glad Killian is still shorter than he is, for all that Liam appears ten years younger than his brother now. He’s glad because he can still wrap his arm around Killian’s neck and ruffle his hair. He does so now, though Killian’s indignant “Oi!” of protest twists his heart. He sounds so like his younger self, that boy Liam spent centuries waiting for and will never see again. 

“I love you, little brother,” he whispers. 

Killian swallows hard, and nods. “I love you too.” 

[hetaliataway]

Thank you for the response. However, I believe none of my concerns were actually addressed. Since you've already expressed a reluctance to continue this discussion in your closing remarks, I won't ask any further questions. Rather, I’ll try to more systematically delineate my issues with your posts from a Jewish POV and why I believe they can be dismissive and generalizing, thus erasing, of our experiences, and possibly of other POC.

Disclaimer: No, I am not speaking on behalf of all Jews. Two Jews, three opinions. I’m also not claiming Jewish people cannot, or should not, create OCs of Jewish communities. I’m thankful and appreciative of any Jewish representation, especially by other Jewish fans. I’m bothering to argue my views on OP’s post because I believe that:

many of the points disregard the Jewish community in general;

it’s counterproductive and damaging to people of color to label racebending in Hetalia as inherently negative and harmful.

In your original essay, you made it very clear that the main issues of racebending characters are the uncomfortable political and social implications.

“There is an implication that a member of a marginalized group possibly chose to take part in atrocities and misdeeds… In more egregious cases, a member of a marginalized group willingly chose to commit atrocities and misdeeds on a large scale against their own group.”

“The oppressor state personification was forced by their government to commit these grievous acts of harm…"

“… deflects blame…”

“if you want to argue that nation personifications are not inherently representative of their government…”

Here you are stating that the (racebent) Hetalia OC would have engaged in racist, violent acts against their own people (or other ethnic minorities) in the name of their government. In response to my two posts, however, you say:

“… I would be the first to assert that I do not want to see America call me slurs and tell me to go back to my country, because yes, I wouldn’t really consider that appropriate to depict in the context of Hetalia.”

If you are claiming a Hetalia character (regardless of if racebent or not) would’ve committed acts of harm because, in real life, the state did commit those acts against minorities, how am I supposed to believe that this character wouldn’t have racist attitudes towards those same minorities? Why are we to assume they engaged in racist actions and hold blame for them, but it breaks escapism to assume they hold racist attitudes? Does it not rose-wash those nations to depict them as if they don’t hold racist views? If I’m to assume a canon character, or someone else’s OC either 1) participated in antisemitic pogroms, or 2) stood by doing nothing, how can the fandom be a safe space for Jews at all? And this is why I originally asked – what about us? Virtually any country has been, and still is, antisemitic. What place would a Jewish OC have in the fandom, if they can only exist by themselves, without interacting with non-Jewish characters – because, according to you, they would have engaged in hostile acts towards my people?

My second point relates to the issues of a minority depicting a community with whom it isn’t familiar, and its implications:

“I argue that to do this requires assuming a certain level of interchangeability between POC experiences.”

“First and foremost, POC are not a monolith- we lead drastically different lives depending on our ethnic backgrounds, where we live, our socioeconomic class, our political and racial context, etc. Therefore, we cannot presume that our experiences of marginalization mean we’ll always succeed in properly representing other minority groups elsewhere; in fact, the goal of projecting our own life experiences onto them means that there will be an obstacle to properly representing these minority groups…”

“Imagine a Chinese-Malaysian individual greatly enjoys the character of Spain. Wishing to better relate to him, the individual racebends him to be also Chinese. However, a great deal of historical, cultural determinants and nuances separate the experiences of Chinese people in Spain and Chinese people in Malaysia. There are similarities, yes, but this Chinese Malaysian cannot hope to properly represent the Chinese population in Spain if their primary goal remains self-projection.”

I actually agree with the general idea, as you'll see further below. But first I have to ask - How is a Chinese-Malaysian person racebending Spain (consequently failing to accurately depict the Chinese community in Spain), any different than that very same Chinese-Malaysian fan creating an OC of the Chinese community in Spain – also with the goal of self-projection? If they fall short on “representing the Chinese population in Spain” because “a great deal of historical, cultural determinants and nuances separate the experiences of Chinese people in Spain and Chinese people in Malaysia”, then how exactly does creating a separate OC for the Chinese community in Spain solve the issue? What solution do you propose?

In a more generalized sense: by this logic, how can we know that we are depicting a community’s history, culture, and people accurately and respectfully? As you’ve said, POC experiences aren’t interchangeable. Even if one put years into learning and research, they could never truly understand those particular experiences, which, again, according to you, would lead to a misrepresentation of a community. By “finding similarities”, as you stated in the response to my posts, aren’t we erasing the unique circumstances of that community and replacing them with our own experiences of racism? Similarly for example, how can I, as a Jew in Europe, make an OC of the Iraqi Jewish community in Mumbai? What do I know of their lives, their traditions, their struggles, their feelings towards their identity and their dynamics with the non-Jewish majority?

Next I want to address the crux of my issue with the post – the guilt-tripping, appropriation of trauma and disregard/minimization of the Jewish experience.

Throughout your posts, you’ve often said you don’t want to police POC.

“I have never told POC that they need to stop feeling represented through racebending. I have never told POC that they needed to disavow their white faves as ‘racists.’ I never once told POC how to navigate through their trauma.”

As a reminder, you also stated in your posts that racebending…

“… may end up justifying those very same crimes [against POC].”

“… plays into colonial … propaganda.”

“…is an overly idealistic and uncritical agreement with multiculturalism.”

“can … act as multicultural propaganda.”

You can’t accuse us of those things, then claim that you “never told POC that they need to stop feeling represented“ and that the last thing you want is to “control POC”. I understand that the intent of your post was to dissuade people from racebending because it’s something that makes you and your friend uncomfortable, but to do so this way you are effectively claiming a moral high ground, shaming and guilt-tripping POC fans who, already aware of the implications of racebending, have decided to engage with Hetalia this way. Let me emphasize – by claiming racebending is inherently politically damaging to POC, you are claiming that you are in the right, and we are in the wrong. This is therefore not, as you often state, a simple matter of POC having the right to express their feelings on racebending.

“But from one POC to another, it's not much of a discussion if your response to my points is simply, "Well, it makes me feel represented and happy, and that's what matters most." If we argued based on that, we could go all day. Am I not a POC myself? Do the feelings and happiness of POC who are uncomfortable with racebending not matter? For that matter, who are you to tell the people whose families and people have been historically affected by white imperialist states to stop disliking racebent versions of those imperialist states?”

“Why then, am I, and by extension, irithnova and any other POC who’s expressed their feelings about racebending, not allowed to feel this way and express our feelings about our trauma and experiences?”

“Does the mere expression of our feelings jeopardize other people’s reclamations that much?”

Again, this wasn't a mere expression of personal feelings. You went out of your way to write a lengthy post where you outlined the inherent issues of racebending - you accused POC fans of engaging in propaganda. I’m not speaking for those other POC fans – rather, all I asked of you was to listen to a Jewish perspective. What is the difference in the degrees of tact and sensibility in a POC racebending a nation, and claiming that Jewish, or any community’s struggles can be comparable or interchangeable with those of other communities? Who makes the call? How can someone who hasn’t gone through the struggles of another community weigh in on what they believe are similarities or differences? How does my explaining of how the Jewish experience translates in Hetalia, and why your post is therefore dismissive of us – “othering” us as not-quite-POC - silence the perspectives of other POC, who voiced their opinion before I did?

This leads me to this other statement you’ve made which alludes to the interchangeability of POC trauma:

“irithnova, as a Filipino living in the West and has Filipino relatives in the USA, is intimately aware of the nature of American imperialism and racism against POC.”

No. Your friend is intimately aware of the nature of American imperialism and racism against Filipinos. Your friend is not intimately aware of the nature of antisemitism in the US, because they are not Jewish. Your friend may sympathize with us, may educate themselves and may draw similarities between our patterns of discrimination, but that does not mean they are “intimate” with the nature of other POC communities’ suffering under the US, or any other state, for that matter.

In addition:

“Take for example, the fact that multiple oppressed people groups have been able to come together and realize that despite their different histories and contexts, much of their struggle and fight against the state and society that oppresses them was mirrored in other peoples’ struggles; does that not say something about how there are parallels between marginalized population’s histories and experiences? Shared traits in the struggle against the modern state’s disenfranchisement and exclusion of minorities?”

“To respond to me saying “I believe the personification of the nation-state shouldn’t speak for the groups it also oppresses” with “(you are) generalizing imperialism, colonialism, and prejudice” is to then implicitly reject the possibility that we cannot identify similarities in our struggles for recognition and to be seen as full human beings, that we cannot identify commonalities in the states that oppress us and show solidarity despite our differences.”

Again, from a Jewish perspective, those are two extremely problematic statements because they ignore the issue of the global scale of antisemitism. They ignore how antisemitism is so widespread that even countries and communities affected by racism, persecution, and imperialism often have a history of persecution against my people themselves. I believe I don’t have to explain how my own oppressors drawing similarities between the discrimination they go through by other major powers and the discrimination they force upon us is an issue.

Jews have been, and we still are, scapegoats in many anti-imperialism/anti-colonialism movements. In many places, we're still regarded as allies of the colonizers, as the minorities who always acted in favor of themselves or of the white western powers. For instance, in 1970, Qaddafi didn’t only expel the Italian settlers from Libya, but the Jews as well, confiscating all our property, and closing or destroying our synagogues. He then established the Day of Revenge, a celebration of the end of Jewish (and Italian) existence in Libya. And yet Qaddafi is still widely respected and celebrated as a figure who fought against Western imperialism, even often lauded here on Tumblr as a “flawed man who was still what the colonized world needed”. This may sound like a far-fetched, radical example, but I could name countless other cases of antisemitic acts against Jewish communities being carried out and tolerated in the name of “anti-imperialism” in the 20th and 21st centuries, but, honestly, it’s already distressing enough just thinking about this in length.

Unfortunately, very rarely have we been acknowledged as fellow victims of imperialism and persecution nor invited to multiethnic organizations focused on coordinating decolonization efforts and uplifting communities. If anything, we’ve often been excluded or banned because we are Jews.

In that sense, I strongly disagree that someone can claim to understand or draw parallels with the Jewish experience by simple virtue of being a POC or being a victim of imperialism.

On that note:

"But POC are not a monolith. What can feel empowering to one group can feel invalidating to another POC."

"with all due respect, just because someone is aware of the implications and chooses to racebend regardless to reclaim does not necessarily change or lessen those implications for others."

"Am I not a POC myself? Do the feelings and happiness of POC who are uncomfortable with racebending not matter? For that matter, who are you to tell the people whose families and people have been historically affected by white imperialist states to stop disliking racebent versions of those imperialist states?"

It is not up to that POC to feel invalidated by something that pertains to me, to my roots, and to my trauma. It is not up to a Filipino person to feel invalidated by a Jew's depiction of a Jewish Austria, nor by an African-American person's depiction of a Black America. Us Jews have always been expected to constantly worry about others' sensibilities towards our own traumas and navigate it always in consideration of non-Jews’ possible offensiveness towards it. Someone else’s feelings of invalidation towards my interpretation of my heritage and my coping with my generational trauma comes off as invasive and entitled, especially as it may as well be very possible that the "offended" person comes from an antisemitic nation. How can I be sure that their uncomfortableness with a racebent Jewish character stems from seeing their oppressor being represented as a Jew - as a fellow oppressed minority -, and not plain dislike of us? The only people who should opine on depictions of Jewishness through Hetalia are other Jews. Because our millennia-long persecution is something that pertains to us and only us.

If you wanted to write a post about how depicting America as Filipino is something that you or your friend find problematic, that is something to take with the Filipino and the Filipino-American community. This is something which should be done ad hoc with any other situation where the implications make you uncomfortable. It may be exhausting, yes, but to speak over other communities, to claim we’re all inadvertently harming POC, is not the way.

Regarding the depiction of erased communities:

"for her, personifying the indigenous nations as alive regardless is an act of reclamation and empowerment, and emphasizes their continued existence and resilience in the face of the state’s efforts to assimilate them."

"Sure, it’s biased. But I would rather stress indigenous communities’ continued resistance and their existence as living, breathing cultures that change and grow than other narratives that position them as purely of the past, unchanging and unmoving."

"I am not telling groups who’ve suffered genocide and ethnic cleansing attempts, “tough luck, you get nothing.” Rather, I am saying the act of personifying those communities regardless can be an act of reclamation that celebrates survival and continuation."

I have issues with the uses of the terms “continued existence”, “continued resistance”, “living, breathing cultures”, and “celebrates survival and continuation”. When I say Jewish communities are dead, I don’t mean that the foundation of what was once a vibrant community or nation no longer exists. I mean that there are no Jews left remaining in those communities. I find it comes off as rosewashing and overly optimistic to depict a community where all its individuals have been persecuted until not even one remained as still existing. It’s insulting to those who lost their lives or were forced to flee, it's insulting to lost heritages. Yes, there still are Spanish Jews, and Iraqi Jews, and Russian Jews, and Venezuelan Jews, but we’re virtually all in Israel. Were I to personificate any of those communities, where even would they live? With whom would they interact? How could they engage in their Jewish identity? How can one actually flesh out such a character?

Related to that,

"how, in the eyes of POC who viewed the nations as avatars of their people (and as a result, their states), racebending could come across as uncomfortable and even unintentionally erasing of the prejudice and oppression they and their families have faced."

Do you not think the existence of a living OC of a no-longer existing community wouldn't perpetuate the idea that this community had it better than what they actually went through (aka rosewashing) – that it would give the false impression that there exists a community at all? That it would not "erase the prejudice and oppression they have faced"? Does it not ignore or bury the history of the systemic, violent oppression, pogroms, and persecution we faced? Does it not wash the blood of the hands of those who persecuted us? Does it not spread falsehoods about the degrees of tolerance under which we lived?

Our resistance and our survival and our resilience shows in how we’ve always tried to thrive regardless of how often we were displaced and our communities destroyed.

“Sub-personifications can be used to explore the diversity of one nation, and their mere existence doesn’t inherently mean they’re any “less” of that country. Sub-personifications also allow us to get more specific with what exactly we’re personifying, as even members of ostensibly one ethnic group have markedly different experiences. …If someone can personify their tiny obscure town in the middle of Missouri, then the sky’s the limit for what can be personified.”

Yes, I agree, I never said otherwise, but understand – this is extremely difficult to apply in practice to Jewish communities. We can’t “sub-personificate” something which doesn’t, and often never existed. My goal, and many other POC’s goals being in the Hetalia fandom, is to engage with our own culture and heritage and share it with others. Is expressing Jewishness through an OC of a community which has been wiped out in the past 50 years, or a community which represents 0.01 per cent of a country’s population, any more effective, more educating, more engaging, more enriching, more liberating, and less damaging to POC than depicting Austria as a Jewish man who partakes in a Jewish lifestyle, and who is still an Austrian man who also engages with secular Austrian culture?

Which option really does achieve something in the goal of reducing the negative stereotypes, marginalization, and alienation we as Jews face in general and in fandom spaces? Which would give a Jew more freedom, more self-projection, more interest in exploring their heritage? Which would finally hammer down the idea that a Jew can be a Jew and a Pole, or a Jew and a Austrian, or a Jew and a Moroccan? Which would finally hammer down the idea that Jewish people contributed to the development of the culture, customs, arts, science which today are considered Polish, Austrian, Moroccan? Why should we assert our existence through the ghosts of destroyed heritages which we will never get back, and not celebrate what we've become and what we are today? Who would a Jewish Austria, or a Jewish Poland, or a Jewish Morocco make uncomfortable, if not those countries' antisemites?

People speak of Jewishness as if it were something inherently separate, different, parallel, incompatible from mainstream society - this is, of course, an attempt to justify or minimize the alienation which we suffered and continue to suffer. This way, the majority can distance themselves from us and what us done to us. Once again I say, by only creating OCs which personificate no-longer-existing communities, we are only further asserting the “Otherness” imposed on us and the violence we went through. We are giving the oppressor something to gain because we're playing a game of pretend that only rose-washes our oppressor's actions - we're censoring ourselves to please... whom, exactly?

There are canonical and original Hetalia characters that make me extremely uncomfortable regardless of the ethnicity they're depicted because of my background and that state’s history with my people. This isn't a "just block what makes you uncomfortable and move on", but rather an example of how POC trauma experiences can starkly differentiate, and one experience cannot be held as more important/more prioritizing than the others.

By focusing on trying to draw general, vague similarities between histories of oppression, in the process we are erasing all the nuance that actually holds weight in the decisions fans of color take when deciding whether or not to racebend a Hetalia character. Nuance that is very personal, very meaningful, very emotive to many people of color who otherwise have felt silenced and dismissed and unrepresented.

To wrap things up:

"What should I have done? Were I to carve out a specific exception for Indigenous and First Nations people and Jews, I’m sure you would again be able to identify the flawed logic and inconsistency of such an argument, because fundamentally, there is no way to argue my arguments without the possibility extrapolating them onto any other group that’s suffered oppression from another nation and its state."

My answer to that is one I've repeated throughout my posts - had this been a simple expression of discomfort, it would have been one thing. But by making a lengthy catch-all, meant to apply to every ethnic minority in this fandom (except the ones you handpicked to exclude), you consequently addressed, and involved all of us. You did not simply express your discomfort, you projected it onto individuals and entire groups for whom it did not apply.

I am not invalidating any discomfort you or your friend feel. I am not saying I inherently disagree with your points. In fact, I did made it clear in my first reblog that I agreed with them because I can see how they apply to certain communities. What I am arguing is that many of the arguments you’ve made may not apply to many cases, such as the one of my own community – and not only are they not applicable, but the reasonings behind them can actually harm the Jewish community – if not by virtue that Jewish characters representative of non-Jewish majority nations might have a more negative reception due to the claims that the artist might be contributing to imperialistic multiculturalism myths (something which Jews are accused of enough IRL and is already the case in the Hetalia fandom), then at the least for the lack of regard for us at all.

I apologize if my tone came off as overly rude, defensive, or provoking, but I believe that my concerns are valid.

(Regarding the Jewish Oblast - You misinterpreted the illustration. Its intent was not to "praise", but rather to humiliate the Jew. The use of pigs, specifically, is what drives the message home. Just as the Jew is herding the pig, the Russian imperialist is herding the Jew. "The arrogant Jew has been so tamed that now he breeds the pigs he so detests." This is not multiculturalism propaganda at play. Of course, you could claim all multiculturalism ultimately humiliated any minority, but the issue is that you are assuming that the intent of this propaganda was to disseminate the idea to its own citizens and to foreigners that Jews were well-integrated and well-treated, and not to pander to those citizens' and foreigners' hatred and contempt for us by humiliating us in yet another antisemitic attempt at ironic comedy.)

RACEBENDING NATIONAL PERSONIFICATIONS: A TREATISE

DISCLAIMERS:

I AM NOT WHITE, I AM A POC. I am not writing this because I’m a butthurt white person who gets pissy when someone makes my white faves nonwhite and thus unrelatable to me for ‘some’ reason.

I AM NOT PERSONALLY ATTACKING ANY INDIVIDUALS WHO RACEBEND OR IMAGINE THEIR NATIONS TO HAVE A DIFFERENT ETHNICITY THAN WHAT THEY DO IN CANON; ON A SIMILAR NOTE, DO NOT ATTACK SUCH INDIVIDUALS FOR ME. This is a discussion of general fandom trends and a larger phenomenon, the issue I am talking about cannot be solved on an individual to individual basis.

I AM NOT TRYING TO STOP FIRST NATIONS PEOPLE FROM RECLAIMING THEIR NATIONS. As I am not First Nations myself, I would not wish to deny what these individuals emotionally and mentally reap from reclaiming their nations.

I AM NOT THE “POC AREN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE FUN AND SEE THEMSELVES IN THEIR FAVES” POLICE; I AM NOT YOUR MOM, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. Again, this is a discussion of fandom trends and a larger phenomenon. I think it’s almost always worth examining why we do the things we do and the reasons behind a trend.

I AM NOT AGAINST RACEBENDING IN GENERAL. This is specifically an essay on racebending in nationverse Hetalia and other personified nations fandoms.

PREFACE

As stated before in my disclaimers, this essay is not intended to be a condemnation of individuals who participate in racebending. Rather, I intend to make a macro-critique of wider structures and patterns. For this reason, this essay is not accusing anyone engaging in racebending of holding any specific belief. I cannot stress enough how much I do not know you, the hypothetical reader who engages in racebending. 

Again, my intent is to critique wider structures and patterns.

This essay is a conversation I would like to have with other POC and other marginalized groups, especially POC based in white, Western countries. Thus, I ask people not included in the above groups to refrain from weighing in on this.

ALTERNATIVE GOOGLE DOC LINK HERE

TABLE OF CONTENTS

The Difference in Reception for Racebent versus Non-Racebent Characters

The Inherent Politicism of Personifying Nations

The State of POC Representation in Hetalia

The Assumption of Interchangeability in POC Experience

The Myth of Multiculturalism

“It’s Just Fandom, Why Are You Trying to Control POC Who Just Want to Have Fun and Want to Represent Themselves?"

Conclusion

The Difference in Reception for Racebent versus Non-Racebent Characters

I will start this essay off with an acknowledgement of my station in the Hetalia fandom and how it uniquely equips me to talk about this topic – I am very fortunate to enjoy a follower base that primarily follows me for non-Western characters, whether they be canonical or my own original characters. As someone who mostly posts non-Western characters, I can confirm that there is a wider disparity in reception between drawings of my white characters and non-white characters. The following example is not from myself, but from the artist miyuecakes who similarly focuses on predominantly non-white, non-Western countries. You can see there is a drastic gap in the amount of notes that post focused on five nations considered to be non-Western versus a drawing of Female America.

Stating this fact of the fandom is fairly noncontroversial. I would also assert that the following statement is equally true, however given recent reception, is far more controversial: “There are far more instances of racebent canonically white/Western characters, which receive far more traction than their non-racebent counterparts, whether canonical or not.”

I want to make clear what my statement is not saying:

Racebending is only done by white people seeking to score clout and diversity points without having to care about canon non-white characters. In fact, the vast majority of racebending in the fandom is done by POC looking for representation; given the amount of white canon nations compared to any other nation, POC who engage in racebending see it as a way of “evening” the disproportionate overrepresentation of white countries.

POC who engage in racebending are doing so to score clout and diversity points with a white audience. Refer to my above point.

Racebent canonically white characters are met with no controversy or racist/bigoted vitriol. It is fairly well known that there have been multiple harassment campaigns, particularly on Twitter, against artists and editors who’ve engaged in racebending even outside of the Hetalia fandom: see the Black Anya edit, Thumin’s artwork and resulting hate. POC being visibly POC in online spaces will always garner backlash.

On a similar note, I am not including POC cosplayers cosplaying white or light-skinned characters in my definition of racebending. Being angered by POC who cosplay characters of a different complexion is blatantly racist; anyone who is angered by this has nothing of value to add and not worth arguing with.

I am a bitter artist who is mad that I don’t receive enough notes on my posts with non-racebent characters compared to posts about racebent white characters. As stated earlier, I am grateful for the audience I’ve cultivated who specifically follow me for non-racebent non-Western content; I am also more than aware that my content is not what people who seek out racebent content are looking for, and have no interest in changing either my content or their tastes. The last thing I would wish to do is to label POC creators who engage in racebending as “the enemy” and POC creators who don’t as “my side.”

With that out of the way, I bring up this observation because I think it’s worth asking ourselves, POC specifically, the following questions: Why? Why is there this discrepancy in frequency and reception between these kinds of characters and content? Why do people racebend in lieu of focusing on existing POC and creating their own non-white characters?

The easy answer most would give is because white characters are over-represented and given more screen time and attention in the canon, so people, especially POC, will become attached to them and create variations of them that hit closer to home for them; this is especially the case if you are a POC who has had experiences living as a minority in a Western country. Some POC may also use racebending as a way to subvert national myths that have historically excluded people of color for a variety of racist, imperialist reasons. I know I used to subscribe towards a depiction of non-white passing America and Canada for this very reason.

In the rest of this essay I would like to examine and critique the practice of racebending national anthropomorphisms traditionally and typically depicted as white in the context of Hetalia and by extension other media involving similar premises. This essay argues that while racebending may be harmless for most other anime, Hetalia – by virtue of its content centering real life nations – carries political implications that are not necessarily appropriate.

I stress again that I can’t stop you or what anybody in the Hetalia fandom does. I do not have that kind of power nor the will to do such a thing. All I ask is for you to listen to the following with an open mind, and if there’s only one thing you take away from this, I hope it’s to realize that POC in particular have valid reasons to dislike racebent depictions of white nations; holding such a stance does not make them anti-POC representation and somehow no longer POC and instead, a member of the white oppressor class.

The Inherent Politicism of Personifying Nations

Firstly, I repeat that a series about personified nations is deeply political and every creative choice carries political and socio-cultural ramifications, whether intentional or not and made by the creator or the fan. Even if you mostly interact with Hetalia in a depoliticized context, others may not, and given that nationverse Hetalia is about personified nations, this is perfectly reasonable. 

Let us look into the canon material of Hetalia- It is shown that nations on average have close ties to their governments, viewing them as their bosses and carrying out actions for them. We are shown that there are nations who go against the orders of their governments, such as Germany; this does not mean all nations follow in that pattern, however, and there are many who are in lockstep with their governments and their actions.

Therefore, for individuals whose ethnic groups and nations have suffered great harm from oppressor nation-states (Philippines v. United States, Indonesia v. Netherlands, India v. England), it is not irrational for them to be unsettled by their oppressor being racebent- especially when said oppressor nation-state is depicted as being the same ethnicity as the very group(s) they marginalized. This is uncomfortable for multiple reasons: 

There is an implication that a member of a marginalized group possibly chose to take part in atrocities and misdeeds that the said marginalized group historically not the major perpetrator behind. In more egregious cases, a member of a marginalized group willingly chose to commit atrocities and misdeeds on a large scale against their own group.

The oppressor state personification was forced by their government to commit these grievous acts of harm against members of other marginalized groups/their own marginalized groups; thus, the personification of the nation-state, the people, has little to no culpability as an oppressor, and is instead made into a fellow victim of their own government. 

This deflects blame from the embodiment of the state of being an oppressor. The suggestion here is that the state is somehow completely separate yet intertwined with the government – it was simply the government who perpetrated the crimes… the people were just unwillingly complicit. This can come across as an erasure/rosewashing of the very purposeful policies used to harm and disadvantage colonized/oppressed groups.

This can also erase the fact that in many cases, the people gave the government’s actions their tacit approval whether it was through whole-hearted enthusiasm or apathy towards the suffering of others. 

In the case that the racebent nation’s minority ethnicity was historically involved in such acts, this involves highly sensitive conversations about minorities’ complicity in crimes and assimilation into the white/majority order (e.g. Chinese and East Asian settlers in Hawaii after America’s illegal annexation, Korean collaborators with the Japanese annexation of Korea, African American soldiers in the Philippines); these are extremely touchy subjects that should be had within the relevant ethnic groups, and should not be appropriated by outsiders, particularly white people, especially for fandom purposes.

(I will discuss insiders racebending nation-states to their ethnic group that have suffered mistreatment and oppressed by said nation-states in “The Myth of Multiculturalism.”)

Additionally, racebending may end up justifying those very same crimes, especially in the case of settler colonialism. For example, during French rule of Algeria, the French government began a program of confiscating Algerian land from indigenous Algerians and giving them to French and European settlers. Over the course of two centuries, more and more land was taken away from indigenous Algerians, forcing them to move to the margins of society, where they were barred from accessing employment, higher education, and the other societal amenities. 

Many would be able to identify how personifying Algeria as a white, French individual would be erasing indigenous Algerians and implying that the French settlers represent all of Algeria. However, conversely, making France an Algerian man is also playing into colonial French propaganda. The French viewed Algeria as part of France and the French homeland itself, unique even among other French African colonies, and made plans to make Algeria a full-fledged French province, or department. To make the national personification of France Algerian then, is to suggest that this belief was and is correct, that the Algerians are a part of the colonial core of France, even if the intention is to represent the modern day Algerian diaspora in France.

IMPORTANT: I will expand on the politics of representing diaspora populations in the section “The Myth of Multiculturalism.”

Given all of these reasons for why POC may justifiably react negatively to a racebent white nation personification, some may argue against these with:

“Why is it that when the nation is white, they never have to deal with any of these heavy discussions of imperialism, bigotry, oppression, etc, but when they’re racebent they suddenly have to? Why are they suddenly politicized when they’re racebent?”

My response to that is that they were politicized, even when they were white because the act of personifying a nation is inherently political; to ignore a white nation’s history of oppression is a politically charged move in of itself. Are we really depoliticizing POC when we racebend a white nation and try to maintain that same ‘depoliticization’ and omission of historical oppression but this time for a POC face? To racebend a white nation is to refuse to contend with the contradiction of transforming an oppressor class to the very group they marginalize - making racebending an inherently political act. It is not necessarily that whiteness is unpolitical but rather that an active refusal to deal with this contradiction makes the political implications much more obvious.

Additionally, this rebuttal raises another question- Were we to completely forget about a character’s background as the personification of an oppressor state and the political weight of that, would that truly solve the problem of POC being politicized? I don’t think so- In the current world we live in, POC are always political. But exclusively racebending oppressor states makes no attempt to depoliticize non-Western POC states, creating a divide between POC that get to be “depoliticized” and POC who don’t based on their proximity to the West.

The State of POC Representation in Hetalia

Some would argue with the points of my last paragraph saying that I am not including POC who both engage in racebending but also create non-Western POC OCs; if equal attention is given to both, there would be no division between racebent Western POC who get to be humanized and non-Western POC who don’t, right?

To answer this we must acknowledge wider trends in racebending in Hetalia. Consider the following: When somebody has a North African! Romano, how many other North African nations (canon or non-canon) do they show appreciation for? Create content for? Expound the same amount of mental and creative energy for? Furthermore: If they do have another North African nation(s) they create content for, are they allowed to exist as their own separate beings, and not purely exist to be North African! Romano’s tie to North Africa?

Chances are, Romano is reduced to being the token brown character in a largely white cast and isn’t allowed to ever exist without whiteness surrounding him. This is a very diaspora experience, but I find it unfortunate that in a piece of media that enables us to explore any number of cultures and experiences over all of time and history, we (and I’m including myself as another POC who grew up in a primarily white environment) are unable to imagine ourselves outside of this setting and celebrate ourselves without having to exist against a white mainstream. Stories about white engulfment are allowed to exist and should be told, but why is this so common? Why do these stories disproportionately outnumber POC stories where whiteness is minute or absent?

As my audience is intended to be mostly POC, I will not elaborate on the following scenario too much, but I will ask us to scrutinize the ethics of it. What about cases where white individuals racebend some of their white favorite characters and position them as POC representation in lieu of actually focusing on POC, non-Western nations, canon or not? Does this not have implications about what kinds of POC and diversity are considered more palatable and appealing?

Furthermore, when another North African nation does exist alongside racebent Romano, their character and depiction is almost always heavily dependent on their relationship to Romano, a Western nation. This still perpetuates the same inequality I was talking about earlier where POC nations are humanized based on their proximity to the West, whether because they personify a Western nation or happen to have a relationship with a Western nation.

We should not just be talking about having “more” non-white representation, but also the quality of it. It is completely understandable why some POC may not be satisfied with the representation most racebent content provides, even beyond the reasons outlined previously; this type of representation excludes POC who do not have a relationship to the West, and is still largely focused on the West. 

IMPORTANT: I am not saying that contact with or influence from the West makes POC somehow “less POC” or that stories from Western-based diaspora are a “diluted” form of representation. I will expand on this in the section “The Myth of Multiculturalism.”

“Well if it’s not good enough for those POC, then they should just mind their business and make their own representation! There’s plenty of non-racebent content out there!”

Many POC do exactly that- creating their own representation without racebending. However, as established earlier, racebent white characters receive far more attention and feedback compared to canonical non-white characters, despite the fact that both depictions fulfill the purpose of “representation.” This can be especially disheartening in a fandom that already heavily tokenizes canon POC nations, whether it’s India being presented as the “nanny”/surrogate parent in Commonwealth group art or Seychelles as the “adopted child of color” in FACES family. To POC content creators, it feels insulting that the wider fandom, rather than developing POC canon characters (or taking advantage of the source material’s potential by making OCs) and viewing them as representation, the fandom chooses to racebend Western nations and celebrates them instead.

I want to make clear again what I am not saying with that statement:

POC who engage in racebending are doing so to score clout and diversity points with a white audience. Again, it’s a fact that the vast majority of racebending is done by POC looking to create their own representation.

POC who engage in racebending should all go stan Seychelles and Cuba instead. This is an extremely individualist solution to what is a wider phenomenon. I do not blame POC based in Western countries for feeling disconnected to the few POC nations we have in canon.

Racebent POC content is more popular than content of non-racebent white characters.

What I am describing here is how an audience (the Hetalia fandom) receives two creations, both made by POC in the pursuit of creating more representation, and the difference in reception. The difference, it seems, is that the wider fandom deems certain kinds of POC representation more appealing, and thus, certain kinds of POC worth focusing on.

The Assumption of Interchangeability in POC Experience

Earlier, I mentioned that one of the possible reasons for POC to engage in racebending is the desire to see an iteration of their favorite character that is closer to their own reality and lived experience. Therefore, some may choose to racebend a white character to embody a marginalized minority in the country instead so they can share more experiences with the formerly white characters. 

Here, I will not be dealing with the practice of POC racebending their own country to their own ethnicity, which is the focus of the next section. Instead, I will be delving into the practice of POC racebending another nation to embody a minority (one which they do not belong to) for the purposes of ‘putting themselves in their interpretations.’ I argue that to do this requires assuming a certain level of interchangeability between POC experiences.

First and foremost, POC are not a monolith- we lead drastically different lives depending on our ethnic backgrounds, where we live, our socioeconomic class, our political and racial context, and etc. Therefore, we cannot presume that our experiences of marginalization mean we’ll always succeed in properly representing other minority groups elsewhere; in fact, the goal of projecting our own life experiences onto them means that there will be an obstacle to properly representing these minority groups.

Take the following example: Imagine a Chinese-Malaysian individual greatly enjoys the character of Spain. Wishing to better relate to him, the individual racebends him to be also Chinese. However, a great deal of historical, cultural determinants and nuances separate the experiences of Chinese people in Spain and Chinese people in Malaysia. There are similarities, yes, but this Chinese Malaysian cannot hope to properly represent the Chinese population in Spain if their primary goal remains self-projection. Now imagine that our Chinese-Malaysian individual wished to racebend England to be Indian; an even wider gap separates the experiences and history of Chinese people in Malaysia and Indian people in England, making it even less likely that our individual will succeed in representing the experiences of Indian people in England.

Another point to consider is that attempts at racebending certain national personifications to represent minorities in the country end up erasing representation for the majority population of the country. For example, there has been a historical Japanese community in Peru that dates back to the 1800s and made a large impact on Peruvian culture. However, it would still be inappropriate to make a Peru OC that is mostly Japanese in race, because besides just being not representative of the 99.9% of non-Japanese Peruvians, it would also be taking representation from Peruvian mestizo and indigenous peoples, who make up over 80% of Peru’s population.

This isn’t even taking into consideration cases where nations are racebent to personify ethnic groups that do not have a numerically significant or historically significant population.

“So what if it’s inaccurate? I just want to self-project onto my favorite character!”

If that’s your response, then I encourage you to read the section “It’s Just Fandom, Why Are You Trying to Control POC Who Just Want to Have Fun and Want to Represent Themselves?” where I address assertions of "fandom is not activism" and similar points.

For now, I will ask you to consider the feelings of those very minorities you are ostensibly representing, even if your primary intention is to project your own experiences onto a character. Chances are, they also suffer from little to no representation that depicts them in inaccurate and unflattering ways.

Hetalia is a media property supposedly centered around exploring and learning about other cultures, but so often fails to accurately and sensitively depict many cultures and nations. Should we not show them the grace that canon Hetalia fails to provide?

The Myth of Multiculturalism

Multiculturalism is typically defined as a celebration of a nation’s ethnic diversity. This is generally considered to be a good and progressive value to have, but a closer and more critical look at multiculturalism in practice suggests that not even a value directed at xenophobia is immune to in-group out-group biases. When enacted by the state, multiculturalism is less an acceptance of diversity as it currently exists (especially in regards to non-indigenous ethnicities) and more an assimilation of these “foreign cultures” into the dominant national one.

For example, Singapore has built much of its national identity as a “multicultural” society. This is shown through government policies in language and education, where the languages of the 3 ethnic groups (Chinese, Tamil Indians, Malays) are all officialized and the government promotes education for ethnic minorities in their mother tongues. However, the label of “multicultural” hides the reality of power inequality between the various ethnic groups. Minorities face pressure to display literacy in the language and culture of the Chinese majority for greater societal acceptance and inclusion. In fact, the assertion that Singapore is a multicultural society that treats its ethnic groups all equally, is often used as a cudgel to shut down any allegations that Singapore fails to live up to this national identity. As my audience is intended to be predominantly POC, especially those living as minorities in Western nations, members of my audience are of course familiar with insistences of “But Canada/United States/etc is a melting pot society! Racism isn’t a serious issue, POC can’t be treated poorly in those countries.”

By racebending a national personification to be part of a marginalized population, this is making a political statement by asserting that the marginalized population is in fact a part of that nation, and has always been, despite historical exclusion. The act of racebending is an overly idealistic and uncritical agreement with multiculturalism, without considering how the value actually applies in practice. It rosewashes the reality and existence of cultural imperialism enacted on immigrant/outsider groups. 

Racebending can therefore accidentally act as multicultural propaganda, especially when the invokement of multiculturalism is used to stamp out valid critiques of othering and racialization by ethnic minorities. (E.g. “Singapore can’t have problems with racism against Malays! Singapore himself is Malay!”)

IMPORTANT: If you want to argue that nation personifications are not inherently representative of their government, refer to the section, “The Inherent Politicism of Personifying Nations.”

“Well, POC based in Western countries will naturally feel more connected to their Western countries than their homelands, often because of those policies intended to break their connections to their homelands. Why can’t they racebend to reclaim? To feel connected to their Western countries in contrast to their realities of ostracization and othering?”

I have already discussed why other POC (those affected by a white regime’s actions) would be uncomfortable with the implications of tying a POC/marginalized group with said white regime’s misdeeds in the section “The Inherent Politicism of Personifying Nations” so I will not discuss it here beyond mentioning it.

Firstly, I must acknowledge that this argument is fundamentally an emotional one. I do not want to deny what POC in Western countries emotionally derive from racebending the nation-state, even as a fellow POC based in a Western country. Instead, I will approach this argument from another angle.

I ask the following: When trying to represent our experiences as diaspora and minorities, why is personifying a diaspora/minority community not a popular option? The act of choosing to personify a community is inherently political, and we can use it to empower ourselves as diaspora or minorities. For example, by personifying diaspora communities, we can acknowledge that diaspora experiences are different enough from those in the ‘homeland’ to warrant another personification, and also avoid accidentally justifying colonial possession of those ‘homeland’ states. 

Additionally, by personifying diaspora/minority communities, we can 1) better reflect our unique day-to-day experiences of being racialized and separated from the mainstream, 2) avoid many of the earlier uncomfortable implications of minority collaboration in majority perpetrated acts and condoning colonialism, and 3) stress our independence and autonomy despite the efforts of the state and majority population to take that away.

To put it another way, why are there so many stories of minorities striving towards being included, or from another angle, subsumed, into the white nation-state despite its frequent rejection of them? Again, what does it say that these narratives of “inclusion into a historically white nation-state” disproportionately outnumber POC narratives where whiteness is minute or absent?

IMPORTANT: I am not singling you, the hypothetical POC diaspora individual who engages in racebending, out. I am asking about wider patterns of representation in media.

“But by personifying diaspora and minority communities separately from the personification of the nation-state, isn’t that basically saying that minorities will never be seen as part of the nation-state? That we will never be included when people think of our nation state?”

I believe this response takes too narrow a perspective on what multiculturalism is and “being part of a nation-state means,” and thus views having separate personifications as ‘justifying’ or ‘promoting’ our exclusion from the nation-state when it may not be the case.

Look at it from this way- Is it not also problematic to have only one avatar for, say, America, and thus imply that there is one true way of being “American?” Having multiple American personifications, in contrast, is a more true depiction of the realities of being American, and more true to the values of multiculturalism; it instead suggests that there are many ways to be American, that we don’t have to be subsumed into the mainstream to be considered “American.”

“Isn’t that functionally the same as different interpretations of the same nation-state coexisting? Why can’t fans just all have a different Alfred/America specific to their own experience who are all equally considered American?”

Once more: I am not trying to stop anyone from doing anything. That’s not within my power to do so. I agree with this statement that largely, having multiple American personifications and multiple America/Alfred fulfills the same purpose of showing that to be American means something different to everyone. However, the reason I advocated for the former approach is because it achieves the same goal with a lot less uncomfortable questions and unique benefits (minority autonomy), as detailed above.

“It’s Just Fandom, Why Are You Trying to Control POC Who Just Want to Have Fun and Want to Represent Themselves?”

First off, I am presenting this essay as a conversation with other POC because I want to make it explicitly known that my position here is not that of a white person seeking to silence POC and lecture them about what is and is not good for them. Secondly, it's because I want to talk about racebending as it currently exists in the Hetalia fandom, something mostly done by POC who wish to represent themselves and create the diversity missing in the source material. I believe pointing out that white people who are uncomfortable with POC characters or only racebend for self-centered reasons likely have a racial bias is obvious, especially to other POC, and wish to progress the conversation beyond this. This is why my discussion on racebending is moving beyond white bias.

As part of centering this as a discussion among POC, I am also assuming good faith from my interlocutors, that their desires for representation and diversity are sincere, and that I don’t look down on them. I hope then, that this assumption of good faith can be afforded to me as well- that my interlocutors believe me when I say that the last thing I want to do is control POC, as a fellow POC.

Having gotten all of that out of the way, let's address some rebuttals to the arguments I've made thus far.

"Who are you to decide what kind of representation resonates with POC?"

You're right. I can't decide what kind of representation resonates with POC. Again, I am not intent on controlling POC, and again, I recognize that many of the arguments in favor of racebending white nations come from an emotional place; I can’t control how POC feel, even if I wanted to do that.

However, it's precisely because of this that I've made my arguments based on  factors other than emotional ones, such as the political implications and questioning the inclusivity racebending provides us with. POC joy and happiness is crucial in the face of a system that seeks to crush and suppress us. But from one POC to another, it's not much of a discussion if your response to my points is simply, "Well, it makes me feel represented and happy, and that's what matters most." If we argued based on that, we could go all day. Am I not a POC myself? Do the feelings and happiness of POC who are uncomfortable with racebending not matter? For that matter, who are you to tell the people whose families and people have been historically affected by white imperialist states to stop disliking racebent versions of those imperialist states?

For white people, it is easy for them to shut down racebending, because they don't understand the experience of never seeing yourself in any form of media. I have asked white/non-marginalized people to refrain from this discussion for that very reason. But in exchange for that, we should be able to discuss the ramifications of racebending national personifications, and look deeper at the arguments for and against racebending.

"You're taking this too seriously. People giving more attention to racebent versions of Western countries versus non-racebent POC countries doesn't say anything deeper about someone's political beliefs. People just like the silly anime about personified countries, and that silly anime happens to give more attention to the canonically white countries."

To a certain extent, I get this rebuttal. We cannot solve racism or the privileging of the global north by reblogging Hetalia fanart of Seychelles and Cameroon. Everything I have described here is symptomatic of much, much larger issues that affect billions. But it's symptomatic: fandom is not immune to the ills of wider society. We do not shed our innate biases and prejudices when we enter supposedly apolitical spaces like fandom. In a series about personified nations, our prejudices and biases are naturally magnified because the source material’s nature is deeply political, dealing with history and personified nations and states.

Again I ask: What does it mean that the POC representation made by POCs is so often limited to racebending canonically white characters, in the context of the world order we live in where proximity to the West automatically confers certain privileges?

IMPORTANT: Refer to the section “The Myth of Multiculturalism” if you respond to this with “Are you saying depictions of Western-influenced POC experiences are a lesser form of representation?”

If that fails to convince you, and you still believe the inequality in reception between racebent and non-racebent nations doesn’t say anything deeper, I respond with the following- Isn’t it still worth it to try and show the same support and energy to the non-racebent, non-Western countries and their creators, regardless of whether that content speaks to you or not?

One last time, I’ll clarify what I’m not saying with that:

Stop liking America and Russia and England. I repeat, I cannot control what POC like or feel or do, and I repeat, what characters you personally like is a very individualistic view on a wider, systemic issue.

In the section “The State of POC Representation in Hetalia,” I discussed how disproportionately giving to racebent countries versus non-racebent non-Western countries is not an intersectional form of POC representation, and fails to address the underrepresentation of non-Western countries and cultures given the global colonial hierarchy. My above statement is therefore saying that if we POC want to achieve a more intersectional form of solidarity and representation, to create a fandom that’s more non-Western friendly, to generally support all types of POC creators, we should not neglect certain kinds of POC content just because it doesn’t personally resonate with us.

You don’t have to. Fandom is not activism. For many, fandom is an escape from the grim realities of the outside world. But in a media property all about exploring other countries’ cultures and histories, can we not strive for the spirit of the source material, and be a little more open-minded in exploring other countries and other forms of POC representation? Even in this miniscule way?

CONCLUSION

I would like to conclude this essay on the matter of irithnova, and the recent controversy she’s been embroiled in for stating many of the points I have made. Yes, our tones were different. But no amount of harsh tone warrants the outrage and rather racist backlash her post received. irithnova has been one of the most active voices in the Hetalia fandom speaking out against racism, from the exclusion of POC in j-ellyfish’s character polls to myrddin’s behavior. However, as soon as she, a Filipino, expresses personal discomfort with certain depictions of a nation that’s caused great harm to her people, other POC were the first to get mad at her for seeing the political implications of a POC personified America, to the point of trying to deny her reality as a feminized and racialized member of the diaspora living in a colonial European country and calling her functionally white.

POC solidarity doesn’t mean we have to all agree with each other, or even like every other POC. But I want to note the irony here of people committing the very act they accused irithnova of doing- telling her, a Filipino, that she wasn’t allowed to criticize racebent depictions of America, thereby trying to control POC.

If your response to this is “Well, sure irithnova didn’t deserve the harassment, but she was still wrong to criticize racebending because it wasn’t her place!” I would like to remind you of the following points:

Scroll up to the top and read this essay again. Regardless of tone used, there are valid reasons for POC to dislike and criticize depictions of racebent countries.

irithnova, as a Filipino living in the West and has Filipino relatives in the USA, is intimately aware of the nature of American imperialism and racism against POC. The United States promised to help the Philippines achieve independence but instead robbed it of its sovereignty, putting down resistance to its takeover and instituting American rule because they viewed Filipinos as “lesser” and incapable of governing themselves because of their race. If it isn’t irithnova’s place to feel uncomfortable (and thus criticize) racebent America, then whose is it?

Finally, I want to emphasize one more thing- First Nations/Indigenous individuals have a unique relationship to the colonial settler states that occupy their land. Like I’ve said so many times, I cannot tell any POC how to feel or what to do, and even more so in this case because I myself am not First Nations/Indigenous; I’ve only provided arguments about the pitfalls of racebending and the merits of other forms of representation. But just as how I cannot tell you what to feel or do, nobody can stop other POC feeling put off by a racebent America.

At the end of the day, despite the who-knows-how-many paragraphs I’ve spent articulating the reasons against racebending canonically white nations, I cannot stop anyone from racebending nations if they wish to. But I do hope readers come away with a better understanding of the flaws of racebending, and the benefits of looking away from the Western mainstream and looking elsewhere to represent our experiences as diaspora and minorities. If you’re someone who engages in racebending, but still chose to read this 6K word long essay on the Hetalia fandom, I can’t express my gratitude enough for hearing me out. Honestly, anybody who read through this entire post deserves an award- Thanks for reading 💖

[wesokkasimp]

general zuko relationship headcanons

-hmm

-so i’m writing these for a post-war relationship

-don’t mind me projecting my crush on firelord!zuko

-this boy def doesn’t ask you out right away

-too nervous for that

-i know i said in my long distance h/c that he would propose right away, but that was for an established relationship

-if y’all aren’t already dating expect to be waiting a lil while

-once things have kinda… settled in the world? like it’s still rather unstable, but at this point most passive aggressiveness between nations is gone

-that’s when zuko would finally take some time for himself and his personal relationships

-if you had left the Fire Nation after the war to do other things, he may have realized he missed you more than the others

-and he missed you in a different way

-with the others he just missed interactions and the good times they had as team avatar

-and he missed that with you too

-but he also just kind of craves your presence

-your scent, your warmth, your touch, your voice

-he could probably sit in a room with you silently all day

-taking in the very essence of you

-because there’s just so much to take in

-when he realizes this, he doesn’t peg it as a crush at first

-zuko’s the guy that can read his friends and loved ones like a book but cannot decode his own feelings for the life of him

-poor kid :(

-he probably just pegs it as knowing you better than the others

-especially if you grew up in the Fire Nation

-ESPECIALLY especially if y’all grew up around each other

-but he starts to question his line of reasoning when you come to visit

-he hasn’t seen you since the southern water tribe drama

-and it’s been two or three years since then

-so you get off… the boat? idk wtf they use for transportation

-he’s waiting at the bottom of the harbor

-he knew when you stepped off the landing and he saw you for the first time in years

-he knew when all it took for him, a very focused person, to become distracted was you paging through a file of things for your work, a furrow in your brow

-when he can normally work through various natural disasters (the Fire Nation is an kind of an archipelago so i assume they get lots of hurricanes/tsunamis and stuff like that)

-THAT was when this boy finally came to his senses and realized he had a thing for you

-but him acting on it? that’s a whooooole different story

-HE’S SO SHY AND NERVOUS OMFG IT’S CUTE

-but it’s also a little annoying at times

-because for years he’s been loud and boisterous with you

-and now that he knows he has a thing for you he doesn’t know how to act

-you don’t catch on tho (thank god for him)

-like you know he’s acting different, but you don’t know why

-he knows you’re gonna figure out what’s going on if he doesn’t fix his behaviour soon

-so he keeps an air of normality around you

-but on the inside he’s still super shy and nervous

-zuko doesn’t have a ton of experience with relationships in general but especially romantic ones

-i don’t think he would’ve gotten with someone after mai broke up with him

-it took him a little bit to get over her, as seen in smoke and shadow

-he’s also a busy guy in general; not tons of time for dates

-iroh may have set up a few dinner dates but nothing substantial has grown from those

-so… in conclusion… king has no idea what the fuck he’s doing

-mai was a pretty special case as she was ridiculously low maintenance and showed zero emotion

-aka exactly like zuko

-i feel like them being so alike was probably one of the reasons their relationship didn’t work out

-like… i’m showing no emotion, you’re showing no emotion, i’m not gonna coax emotions out of you, you’re not gonna coax emotions out of me, we both bottle up anger at each other, ourselves, the world, etc, aaaand cue huge screaming match

-getting off topic whoopz

-since mai was so much like zuko, he had an idea of how to court her

-if he thought something sounded stupid, mai would probably think that too

-but it’s a different story with you

-you might have similarities to zuko but you’re not EXACTLY like him (if you are sorry but i had to make y/ns persona less generic)

-so… romantically? has no clue what the fuck you’re looking for in a relationship

-even if he knows you really well platonically, he thinks that doesn’t translate into romantic relations because he’s clueless ok

-so zuko decides on the subtle approach

-would he confess? no! of course not !!

-but do his touches tend to linger?

-does he let you catch him staring at you?

-is he suddenly very invested in the dating scene wherever you’re living?

-...yes

-and you’re not stupid, you catch on

-and… honestly, there’s no big confession from either of you

-things just sort of evolve on their own

-you end up staying in the Fire Nation a lot longer than you originally planned

-fun excursions that were once platonic turn more and more sensual and flirty

-pats on the back and high fives slowly become back rubs and hand holding

-but... HE STILL HASN’T ASKED YOU OUT

-at this point no one know what the fuck your relationship is

-friends? lovers? fwb? 

-no one can figure it out

-least of all you

-i wish i could make zuko super smooth and have this super romantic confession but that would be so ooc for him

-HE TRIES HIS BEST BUT ROMANCE IS HARD FOR HIM OK >:(

-what probably happened was he took you out to dinner

-and you’re tired of not knowing what you are to him

-so you’re like zuko? what are we to each other?

-and he has been DREADING this question

-he knew it was coming eventually

-and to be honest he’s not quite sure either

-he knows he likes you as more than a friend

-and he’s pretty sure you feel the same way

-so he decides to go out on a limb and speak his mind (finally omfg)

- “More than friends, I think. I mean, I think of you as more than a friend… I think you feel the same way? Or-”

-“Zuko, it’s fine. I like you as more than a friend too, but we don’t have to label ourselves right away.”

-the boy is RELIEVED

-it’s like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders

-he’s not the kind of guy that says “i don’t like labels” as an excuse to fool around

-even though you never really talked about it, it’s a silent agreement that you’re both exclusive

-so… i mean that’s basically dating 

-our boy just has commitment issues ok 😔

-eventually you start kissing him in the cheek

-when i tell you he was FLUSTERED when you did that the first time

-i honestly can’t decide if zuko hates pda or loves it 

-he’s touch starved, so idk if he really craves or is really hesitant to physical contact

-if it’s the former, expect hand holding, cheek/forehead kisses, him wrapping his arm around your waist, etc 

-even if he likes pda he keeps it professional

-if it’s the latter…

-the only consistent pda you’re gonna get is hand holding

-if ANYONE gives you shit for something like your socioeconomic status before you started dating zuko or if you came from somewhere outside the Fire Nation

-he will get annoyed and tell them off as politely as possible 🥰

-as for marriage…

-he wouldn’t really think it out that much if he was trying to decide if he wanted to marry you

-by the time he would be considering marriage, he knows right away that he does in fact want to marry you

-his PROPOSAL, however

-he definitely plans this big thing and then somehow messes it up after practicing it a bunch of times

-you still say yes ofc

-zuko is pretty dedicated to the Fire Nation, so he will most likely follow most traditional aspects of the Fire Lord and Lady’s wedding

-he’d integrate important wedding traditions if your culture if you’re from another nation

-married life would be pretty similar to pre married life

-he just gets to call you his wife now :)))

-so it’s canonical that people try to assassinate zuks

-like ALL the time

-he felt like he could handle it but once you moved in with him he started to become very worried :(

-so he beefed up the security around his quarters. even if you also have training in combat he just wants to sleep a little sounder

-hngh if y’all want kids that can be another post this is already kinda long

-that all folks :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AHHHHH HI THESE ARE VERY LATE BUT THEY ARE HERE,,,,, anyways might have to turn off my inbox because,,, uh,,, very angry anti semites and zionists in there rn don’t really feel like getting death threats today

[mariusroyale]

i physically cannot read a fic with first person pov. the way i retch n gag at it.. like. no.

yknow what while we’re at it ill talk abt my list of fanfic icks (fanficks) i get. i used to tolerate this stuff freely in like 2015-16 (when i had no taste smh) now i have zero patience lmao

- shit grammar: i cannot. like i can’t read fics with poor grammar and punctuation, it immediately renders the story unreadable (some exceptions are if im desperate and it’s like the only fic in this v obscure tag n fandom).

- no spacing in paragraphs: SEPARATE UR PARAGRAPHS PEOPLEEEE. tiptop!!! if you create an entire block of text it’s now INCOMPREHENSIBLE and you’ve wasted ur time writing it bc who’s going to read that????

- this also goes for not spacing dialogue properly like this,

“What do you mean?” He tilts his head while asking. She answers absentmindedly, “Like this. Marius can’t read if it’s formatted like this cos it’s supposed to be a new line when it’s a new person speaking.” He pauses in thought, recognising how unappealing it looked. “Oh.”

i can’t bruh it’ll make me stop reading- I MEAN LOOK AT IT. sometimes it’s fucking impossible to tell who’s speaking when! PLS. if a new character is speaking!!! ADD A NEW PARAGRAPH

- if it’s just. Out of character- like shit characterisation: people pls, most characters have dimensions to them! give them better dialogue and actions for the love my ass, you know DAMN well this character would never do that shit in canon

- first person pov (had to talk abt this one again i can’t describe how much it makes me BLEH) like!!! it’s so!! very rarely can i ever enjoy a story written in first person anyway! i don’t care what you think?? lmao?? no human would ever write their daily routine

“I noticed my [insert hair colour] hair possessed a sheen today, which meant I hadn’t washed it in a while.” like? no!

even then if u wrote it like a normal human

“My hair was way too greasy this morning. It’d been awhile since I washed it.”

i still hate it- like if i want details, i want it from an omnipotent, otherworldly being that doesn’t exist outside of narrating

frankly idk why i chose that as an example but you know what i mean: having details is great in third person but so meh in first

- shitty pacing within a brief interaction

i no longer have the patience anymore dude. had i read this in 2015, when i didn’t read well written fics, you’d have me hooked but

i don’t want to read a fic that takes forever to get through and by this i mean: the way you write paragraphs and insert dialogue in between

if there’s an important scene happening, i want to see it. wanna feel it.

if i see a wall of text in between the dialogue which shows Character A’s thoughts im leaving

like you can tell the author kinda just forgot what their original point was and started waffling? like u know??

i once read a fic in 2015-16 (im so sorry it was phan) where the fucking chunks of texts between dialogues were literal PARAGRAPHS. by that point i had forgotten what they were saying cos it was just

“Hey… are you alright?”

A looked at B worriedly. B didn’t know what to say. A had a lot on their plate already. Maybe it was best to not say anything for now. (Like here? This is a good place to stop and continue what B would say. But author just kept going.) B knew how A would react, he wasn’t good with emotions. After all, A had never been truly open with his emotions with people, how could B expect him to do it with him, of all people? He faintly recalled the time he saw A quietly sniffle during a movie and asked if he was alright, only to be met with a brief dismissal. A wouldn’t understand. (AND IT WOULD BE A BIGGER PARAGRAPH THAN THIS!! AND THERE WOULD BE TWO MORE AFTER IT!)

“I-I’m okay.”

Neither of them missed the way B stuttered, but-

AND IT JUST KEPT FUCKING GOING. THIS INTERACTION IN REAL LIFE WOULD HAPPEN IN TEN SECONDS. CANT THIS INTROSPECTION HAPPEN AFTER??? DO I ACTUALLY NEED TO KNOW EVERY DETAILED THOUGHT THAT HAPPENS IN THEIR HEAD IN THE TWO SECONDS THEY PAUSE TO THINK OF A RESPONSE???????

(to clarify, do this introspection in between dialogue, sure. but if you’re gonna make it huge and waffled and unnecessary stOPPP. MAKE IT SHORT. OR JUST PUT IT AFTER THEIR INTERACTION IDFK)

- when the summary has me at the edge of my seat and the first few words of the fic has me vomiting

like DAMMIT. you HAD ME

i was SO EXCITED for this premise it’s intriguing and i was gonna read and!!!

your grammar is shit!! DAMMIT