#you cannot tell me this isn't something simon would do

[konigsblog]

ghost putting a gun to the back of your head while you suck him off.

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

I'll Crawl Home To Her

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!reader

Summary: Simon is away on a mission and you are on his mind. Having to extend his stay, he is going to miss Valentine's day, but coming across a recent trend on TikTok, he may have a way to say just how much you mean to him.

***So, this came from the TikTok trend I came across of military guys posting pics of their girlfriends/wives/fiancees/etc. to the song Work Song by Hozier and I wanted Simon to do it too for you. So here it is! Just a little something extra***

***Pictures are made by me***

Simon can’t sleep, again. 

It’s been a while that his team has been in the field on their current mission and though he knows he should focus on the task at hand, there is so much on his mind tonight. Even though he is tired, he cannot seem to get himself to drift off. There is something missing, or more like someone, that he wishes to be beside right now and that is you.

He feels guilty about still being gone as he should be in by now, just in time for Valentine's day, but that isn’t happening anymore. Things on this latest mission are taking longer than expected and instead of packing up to come home to you, he had to have that hard phone call to tell you that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. In that call he heard it there in your voice: that twinge of sadness that you always try to mask through hopeful and kind words, holding back the crackle in your voice as you choke back the tears in hopes that he won't hear it, but he does. He always does.

As much as he loves his job he is ready to be back with you again and hearing that does not make it any easier. 

The dark surrounds him as Simon lays in his cot, trying to numb his mind with his phone propped up in his hand, hopeful that with enough distraction sleep will eventually take him. He knows there is no better way to keep his mind from wandering back to those things he cannot change than by idly watching short content videos and he knows just where to go for that. He clicks on the TikTok app and begins to watch. 

Scrolling through the drivel and waste, past people spewing their nonsense, a video comes across his feed that instantly brings you right back to the forefront of his thoughts. The first slide is a picture of a young man in his fatigues and tactical gear smiling at the camera. He is clearly in the field on active duty and there is text across him that repeats the lyrics of the song playing. His picture is followed by a slide with what Simon assumes is his wife with the next bit of lyrics over her. It looks like a new trend amongst military personnel on the app, a tribute to the ones they are going to come home to in the future: children, pets, significant others, family. 

The song tugs at his heartstrings from the moment it begins; it's one he hasn't heard before, but the lyrics make his heart ache and his arms feel so incredibly empty without the weight of your body filling them as the singer speaks about how even in death they would find their way home to the one they love.

And fuck if that isn't something he thinks about a lot. 

It is a burden of this type of job, leaving all part of his heart behind back home every time he has to go out. He knows this lifestyle isn’t easy on either of you, that even though you’ve been together for a couple years now, having him constantly be pulled across the world and away from you still has a certain bite to it. Yet with all that stacked against your relationship, not once have you ever been anything other than supportive. Standing beside him through it all, constantly choosing to give him your heart no matter how hard this gets, loving him through the all the shit that gets thrown his way; if there is anyone his soul would seek out even in death, it would be you. 

He clicks on the sound at the bottom of the screen with a lump welling in his throat and starts to watch more videos of the same. One video turns into two and then three and now his heart is aching something fierce, like a physical burning in the center of his hardened chest that he tries to rub away with his hand, but he knows it's not going to go until he's near you again.

This longing is worse than it has ever been before. He misses your touch, all that soft, warm skin under his hardened hands; he misses your laugh, that sweet sound that can make the sunshine come out even on a rainy day; he yearns for your mouth, those full lips that he can lose himself in. It's almost too much to bear being away from you at that moment.

Simon was never one for big displays of sentimentality. No one ever seemed worth breaking down those walls that he had built up to allow himself to be vulnerable in such a public way like that. It never seemed worth the sacrifice. And for a long time, no matter who he met, that was true…until you.

You broke the mold when you came into his life. Now his heart can't help but burst at the seams whenever you pop into his head. He could be a thousand miles away from you, stuck in some hot, miserable shithole in the middle of nowhere, like he is right now, and yet the moment he thinks of you it doesn't seem quite so bad. 

Because he knows there is a piece of heaven waiting for him, something wonderful that is all his that the struggle of his other life will not touch, not if he has anything to do with it.

Simon may have to miss being there on the day when people show their loved ones how much they care, but that doesn’t mean he can do nothing. As the videos continue to play, he gets an idea, one that will hopefully show you just how much he really does care. 

As much as you go on the app, he is sure you have seen a video or two like this come across your scrolling. You have probably sat there and watched just as he did, thinking about him being so far away, missing him something terrible. Maybe you would like to see him make a video like that for you. Either way, this is something he wants to do, needs to do.

Simon has no pictures of just himself on his phone, none without you in them, and so that’s his first order if he wants to do this right. He tries to do the easy thing the next day and take a selfie, but he can’t get one that looks good enough for him to keep. The more he takes, the worse he thinks they look and that means he is going to have to get help whether he wants to or not, otherwise he is going to back out of doing this and he’s not going to let that happen. 

This is for you after all, he needs it to be perfect. You deserve that.

He decides his best bet is wrangling Soap into doing this for him; at least he is the most comfortable asking the sergeant. “Johnny, I need ya to do somethin’ for me,” Simon says as the team stands around awaiting transport into the designated location. “Don’t ask any fuckin’ questions, but I need ya to take a picture a me real quick.”

“Wanna do a beauty shoot here, L.T.? Seems a bit of a strange location,” Johnny jokes as Simon pulls out his phone from his pocket and shoves it into the sergeant’s open hand. Johnny watches him for a moment, taking a guess at what this is all really about. “Or is it for yer lass back home? Gonna send her somethin’ nice?”

Shaking his head, Simon laughs sarcastically. “Just take the damn picture, yeah? An’ make it look good. I want it ta look natural.”

This isn’t something the masked officer has much experience in and so posing is out; he instead goes for something where it looks like he is caught unaware that he’s being photographed. He’s looking off in the distance, his hand wrapped around his gun so they don’t just hang awkwardly at his side. Johnny quickly snaps the pic and hands the phone back to Simon to check. 

“That’ll do,” he says under his breath, satisfied enough with how it looks.

That night as he lays down for bed, he quickly pieces the video together: first his photo and then he needs one of you. He opens his camera roll and it is absurd how many different ones he has saved. There are so many to choose from that he has a hard time picking the perfect one, but settles on something recent. 

It’s one of you in the bathroom of your apartment, all cozy in the striped jumper he got you for your birthday. Your hair is pulled down out of the bun you keep it in for work, a bit messy from just getting in after you got off. Never has he seen someone more beautiful in such a simple state; you always could look like a dream without even trying. And even through your exhaustion you still give the camera and him the biggest, brightest smile. 

Yeah, it has to be this one. This is the beauty he does all this for.

Luckily it is a rather simple video to put together, he doesn’t have too much trouble getting it to look exactly like the others. He has to watch and rewatch it several times just to be sure he is happy with the product before he hits upload to his followers only. Being that you are the only person that follows him, that is exactly what he wants; he may have to be a bit secretive for work, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try and give you some normalcy.

To him you deserve the world and fuck if he isn’t going to try and give it to you.

He presses the button, the uploading dial in the upper hand corner spinning until it reaches 100%, and waits to see if you get it, hoping that it has the effect he wants in saying all he needs to for you to know how special you are to him.

Across the country, your phone buzzes with a random notification as you lay in bed. It's from Simon's account on TikTok saying he's made a new post. You can’t help how strange you think it is… He never posts anything on his account because he really only made one for you to send him stupid videos to watch whenever he needs to unwind and so it takes you by surprise to see that he has posted something. Opening the app curiously you go straight to check out what it is.

You are not prepared for the emotion that hits you the moment the video starts to play. It’s one of those military posts you have come across a couple of times while scrolling late at night, the ones that you have to quickly scroll past or risk crying at how sweet they are and how much they make you miss Simon. Now the heartfelt Hozier song is blasting through the speakers and it is for you.  

The sentiment behind the lyrics of the song mixed with the picture of him on his latest mission is almost too much. And of course he has picked the picture of you looking all natural, it’s like he can’t get enough of you when you don’t even try at all. You know better than anyone how Simon despises having his picture taken if it isn’t with you, so this a huge sign of just how deeply he cares. Instantly there is a stinging around the rims of your eyes as your vision shimmers. You let the video replay several times as the stray tears are let loose and stream heavily down your face.

Simon did this all for you.

Quickly you pull up your texting app and send him a message, hoping he’s still up to at least answer. You have to rub your eyes with the back of your hand to see the screen, but you type out your message as best you can.

I want you to know I'm crying right now because of you. Is that what you wanted? Make me something that has me crying?

A few minutes pass before your phone buzzes with a text from him, just as you finish wiping away more of the tears collecting on your cheeks. 

Guess you saw the video, yeah? I hope I did it right, sweetheart. Cause I fucking mean it.

You chuckle, swallowing down the lump of feelings that have lodged themselves in your throat, struggling not to start sobbing at how his sweet affection. Of all the things that could be said about Simon Riley, one that could never was that he didn't try his hardest when it came to loving you.

The emotion makes your hands quiver, but you text him back.

It is perfect, Simon. I love it. Really, you did so good.

Simon smiles to himself, glad that your deep connection allows him to share things like this with you. There is no one else that can see him like this, that he can allow his guard down around, and it feels nice to be this tender for the first time in his life. He truly feels as if he can be vulnerable, let himself love with his whole heart, and it is all because of you.

Maybe I'm going soft, but I wanted you to know that I am missing you like mad and that I hate I’m not there with you right now. Fuck, it's getting hard. Can't wait till you're back in my arms again, darling.

You close your eyes and press your lips to the screen as if he can feel your kiss through the screen.

Love you.

Not even a minute passes and the phone vibrates.

Love you too, my beautiful girl. I promise I'll be home soon.

[a-b-riddle]

I'm just going to ask this because I need to get it out of my head. This is all in regards to your Poly141 x Reader series going on. I'm just going to recap things first.

-Price got verbally eviscerated because of all the times he got short/snapped at the reader because he came into their bookstore that they bought with their own money, put their own blood, sweat and tears into fixing up and had THE AUDACITY to call them immature for trying to break things off cleanly like a MATURE adult in a space that's RIGHTFULLY THEIRS because he couldn't be an adult admit how he shouldn't of been treating the reader like one of his men.

-Soap showing up trying to apologize and then thinking with his dick because of how the reader got dressed up for a dinner date and got a taste of his own medicine when the reader just hit it and quit it without so much as a thank you, or a goodbye kiss and basically told him to clean up, get dressed and kick rocks.

-Gaz shows up after weeks of just flaking out of any dates and just being a ghost (ironic considering Ghost's callsign) trying to talk to the reader in person when the reader had tried for months to just get a glimpse of him only to be told he couldn't right now but could another time. Then the reader just tell him, 'yeah sorry no. I don't have time for you and your mates nonsense at the moment, just swing by to get your stuff when it works for you'.

-Ghost showing up whenever the reader is in trouble and getting them away from danger only to disappear shortly afterward and give the reader radio silence. The one time that the reader tried to seek him out for just a SHRED of comfort and he just told them, 'You're only good for what's in between your legs love, you knew what you were getting into. You should've known better.'

With all this mind, I want Ghost to have everything and the kitchen sink thrown at him. I want him to be told in no kind words that his words and lack of realizing how fucked up the things he said to the reader were was the straw that broke the camel's back. I want the reader to hurl everything that they didn't say to Price to Ghost. I want him to realize in no unclear terms how if he didn't fuck up so royally and had actually attempted to give the reader a fraction of what he was being given, things would be so much better. And for some extra salt on the wound, have the reader tell him that they suppose that when it comes to his line of work, he's pretty good at breaking anything and everything he touches. It's just a shame that for anything that involves a softer touch, he winds up breaking it beyond repair.

I just love narrative/reflective irony and can't wait for the next part and wish you well for making it to the end of this ramble. 🥰

I'm throwing up.

I am so happy that y'all got it without me having to say it. YES! She is giving everything back that they gave her. John's outbursts, Johnny's lack of aftercare and Kyle's flakiness.

I will say this which I think is interesting. Simon said something hellllla shitty and unforgivable. Like it was mean and something once you say you can't take back. I will ask this and feel free to go back and re-read.

What else did Simon do? Before the phone call, what else did Simon do to reader? We know Simon wanted to hurt reader. Why? Did he plan

Spoiler below, read at own caution

Or was he just sick of being the only one out of the four guys to actually contribute to the relationship and knew he needed to be the one to drive it home that there isn't a future with them? Reader refers to Simon several times as her body guard or guard dog... But never a boyfriend or partner.

In flashbacks, we see that Simon only ever came over at night. You'll find out why in the next few chapters, but as much as I love y'all hating on Simon, I cannot WAIT for y'all to get to the why.

And remember kiddos, hurt people hurt people.

[gloomwitchwrites]

Blood in the Garden Shed

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female Reader

Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): Bluebeard Retelling, Fairy Tale Retelling, Biblical allusions, marriage, minor violence, horror, suspense, minor body horror, all hurt no comfort

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: Requested by @id-get-sleazy-for-ron-weasley for 3.5k Spooky Bingo (Free Space)

You have no memory of the time before your husband. Before—Simon. But why should you worry over that? Your house is perfect. Your husband is perfect. Everything is perfect. So why does the house feel alive, and why can you never enter the garden shed? Everything is perfect. Isn't it?

ao3 // main masterlist // 3.5k spooky bingo masterlist

You have no memory of the time before your husband. Before—Simon.

You cannot even recall when the two of you moved into the cottage you call home. There was nothing—and then there was a garden, a kitchen, a marriage bed.

Days are for tending to the house and reading in the solarium. The interior is your domain. Every day you clean the floors and fixtures, bake fresh pastries for Simon to take with him to work, and when Simon returns, the dinner table is set with a hot meal.

Evenings are for him. To indulge and care for him.

And if Simon tucks himself away in his study, you do not bother him.

And you do not enter the garden shed.

These are things he’s told you, and you adhere to them, because keeping Simon happy is your purpose. You live for his smile, for his touches, and his gentle kisses.

In bed, in the dark, you welcome him in and tell him how good it was after.

This is your purpose—it always has been.

“I’ll be away for a few days.”

“For work?”

Simon grasps your chin, staring into your eyes. “You know not to ask questions.”

Your gaze casts downward. “The house feels empty without you.”

“I’ll be back soon. Won’t be long.”

“I’ll miss you. Miss you already.”

“I’m right here, love.”

On the third day, the house comes alive.

The windows creak as if expanding in their frames. Every time you enter the hallway, you feel a rush of air, as if the house is exhaling. There are phantom fingers that brush your scalp and pull at your clothes.

“I’m lonely.”

“I’m here now, love.”

You push the food on your plate around. “How was your work trip?”

“Good,” replies Simon after he swallows.

“Anything exciting happen?”

He shakes his head. “This chicken is lovely.”

You perk up. “I used herbs. From the garden.”

Simon stops chewing. Glances up. “You took from the garden?”

You blink. “I—I’ve taken before. You—”

The garden. The garden is Simon’s. He tends to it like you tend to the house. Sometimes, you’ll awaken in the middle of the night and find him out there, digging.

“Only take when I’m here. You know the rules.”

Tears begins to form in your eyes. You hate upsetting him—worse—you hate your quickness to tears.

“No, love. No need for that.” He gets up and comes around the table. “I appreciate the effort. I love you.”

“I love you.”

Your neighbors don’t give you the time of day. Mrs. Heron accepts your cookies but insists upon you returning home. Mr. Badger gives you a gracious smile but suggests that Simon would prefer you home.

Strange. Unsettling.

There is an emptiness.

And the house breathes whenever Simon isn’t around, as if it too holds its breath for his arrival and departure.

“This is new.”

“It’s for you.”

“You built this for me?” you ask, all breathy with amazement. Your hand rests against the polished wood.

“You needed a new one. For all your books.”

Simon has been in the garden. He’s been in the shed. There is dirt on his clothes and skin. You smell the flowers, and something…else. Like rusty iron.

“Thank you, Simon. I love it.”

“More than you love me?”

“Never.”

The floor is squishy near Simon’s office door. You inspect the area, tapping it with your foot, and tell Simon that he needs to take a look at it. He reassures you, but the squishy sensation only grows until the entire hall and connecting bedroom are affected.

“It’s nothing. You’re imagining things.

“Simon—”

“Why all the questions?”

“Do you not feel that?”

“Are you not happy?”

The question startles you. “Of course I’m happy.”

“Then listen to me and move on. The floor is fine. You’re imagining things.”

But you’re not imagining things. The bookshelf Simon built for you leans now, and when you touch it, the same squishy texture greets your fingers.

The neighbors won’t give you the time of day, and there is no one to listen. You are alone in this house, even when Simon dwells within its walls.

“I’ll be gone again. Three days. Like last.”

“I’ll miss you. Miss you even now.”

“I know, love.”

The first night, the wind howls outside, and something scratches at your window. On the second night it storms, and with it comes a ravenous bang, one that startles you out of bed. It is a torrential downpour, but through the rainfall, you notice the door of the garden shed. It stands open, swaying in the breeze.

You rush out, the ground becoming mud beneath your feet. The door swings wildly, and when you snag it, the wind threatens to tear it right from your hands. The garden shed is off-limits. You should shut the door and go inside. Simon will know. He will—

—there is a pit in the floor.

Lightening ripples across the sky, and you see it again.

A…pit. Not a drain. There is no grate. Nothing sitting on top of it.

It’s open, but not large enough for an entire person to fall in. But certainly, pieces of someone.

“You were supposed to be the last.” You hear Simon’s voice just over your shoulder. A whisper even over the roaring thunder. “The final creation. The perfect wife.” You spin and find Simon standing there. “He promised.”

Simon stares up into the sky, the rain soaking him further. “You promised!” he screams.

The thunder answers with a deafening boom. Behind him the lights in the house flicker.

“Who promised?”

Simon rubs at his face and then sighs heavily. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Simon."

He digs in his pocket. “Drink this. You’ll fall asleep. Won’t hurt at all.”

“No, Simon.” He presents a small bottle and you smack at it.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“You’re scaring me!”

Simon lunges and you are unable to resist. There is no struggle. His hands are vice-grips. They wrench your jaw open, spilling the liquid down your throat. You cough—attempt to push it back up but Simon massages your throat, forcing it down.

Tears burn in your eyes. This is your husband. Your protector.

How could he do this?

A lingering burn sits in your throat. Everything goes blurry after, but nothing hurts. It’s just…numb. A sense of floating.

Lightening flashes, and you notice the stains around the pit in the floor. The tools on the wall.

Floating. Drifting.

And then nothing at all.

He kept your eyes.

A trinket and a punishment.

He preserved them in amber and placed them in his office alongside all the other wives. There are ears and limbs. Hearts. Nails. Strands of hair.

The rest of you went into the pit in the floor. Your blood watered the garden.

There is a new wife now. A new Eve.

Simon waited for three days in the garden after the storm before she crawled her way out of the dirt. He sent his thanks to Him. Carried her inside. Washed her and dressed her.

He says all the same things he said to you.

You watch from your perch on the bookshelf he built for you, now moved into his cluttered office. Here you rest with the other wives, the hundreds of others. Sometimes, their minds touch yours, a brief flicker of agony and loneliness before departing.

When he tells his new wife that he’s leaving on a trip, he really means this room. Simon stays here, spending time with each of you. Now you know why you were never allowed to enter. What would you think of him had you known?

Maybe this new one will break free.

Maybe she’ll be the last.

taglist:

@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath

@ferns-fics @tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus

@beebeechaos @smileykiddie08 @whisperwispxx @chaostwinsofdestruction @weasleytwins-41

@saoirse06 @unhinged-reader-36 @ravenpoe67 @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat

@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim

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@itsberrydreemurstuff @cod-z @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @blackhawkfanatic

@sammysinger04 @kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld

@waves-against-a-cliff @jackrabbitem @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez @spookyscaryspoon

@ash-tarte @enarien @gingergirl06 @certainlygay @greeniegreengreen

[magics-neptunes-things]

Better With You (Prompt)

Hi guys!

This is a new prompt, sorry for the wait ♥ It was great to write with Caitlin, I was looking to it for a long time.

31. Everything always looks better when you’re with me, with Caitlin Foord

TW : A liiiiittle bit of angst maybe

___________________________________________

Looking upset, Caitlin puts her phone in the pocket of her shorts for the tenth time in fifteen minutes, attracting the intention of her mother and sister. The two women exchange a look before Jamie speaks, directly talking to her little sister.

"What do you have?"

"Nothing" grumbles Caitlin, shifting her attention to the plate of her breakfast in front of her.

The truth is, Caitlin has something. It’s been long hours since you haven’t answered her messages and your phone seems turned off since it didn’t even ring when she tried to call you. You told her you had a busy day today, but the fact that you didn’t even have time to send her a single message since like 13 hours to keep her informed of your day worries her.

The Australian decided to join her family in Australia to celebrate Christmas and New Year, after a long discussion with you. You know perfectly well how much Caitlin misses her mother and sister, being on the other side of her family’s globe must not be easy every day. You are lucky to be in the same country as your loved ones, your family being only an hour by car from London.

"Don’t make that face" said Simone gently, laying her hand on one of her youngest daughter. "She will write to you soon, I’m sure"

Caitlin gently shrugs her shoulders for a simple answer. Despite the reassurances of her family, she cannot help but feel a strange sensation in the hollow of her belly. Something isn't normal, she's convinced.

"I’m gonna go shopping in town, do you need something?"

The two young women answer in the negative, Simone takes the time to clear the table before kissing each of her daughters on the head and leaving the house. Jamie, meanwhile, decides to drag Caitlin with her to go on the beach and possibly change her mood.

An hour and a half later, you finally leave the plane you’ve been on for over 13 hours. You left London, before making a stop in Dubai during which you had to run from one end of the airport to the other to catch your second plane in time. That’s when you sent the last message to Caitlin, taking advantage of the airport wifi, before jumping on your next plane.

You didn’t hesitate long before surprising Caitlin and join her for a few days in Australia. You quickly understood the guilt she felt with the idea of leaving you in London and if your mother would have disowned you if you hadn't participated in the family Christmas, the last piece of turkey swallowed you went to London's airport to join your girlfriend.

Your girlfriend who continues to sulk despite the efforts of her sister and her sister-in-law to make her laugh. When you join your mother-in-law, she welcomes you with an embrace and a big smile. You often spoke with her when Caitlin called her on FaceTime and you met her officially at the World Cup. When Caitlin came to support you in the stands for the final, Simone and Jamie were with her. Despite England’s defeat, having Caitlin and her family to support you on top of your own family helped you console yourself a little.

"Cait' is pouting" tells you your mother-in-law with an amused smile, when you are in her car in the direction of the family's home.

You make a face and hesitate a split second to get your phone out, but your mother-in-law keeps talking.

"She’s worried about not hearing from you, but when she understands why she won’t blame you. Jamie was supposed to take her surfing, they’re still at the beach."

The idea of being able to take a shower and change before hugging your girlfriend is more than attractive, even if you have been together for a few months, you prefer to be seen to your advantage.

Caitlin being always absent when you arrive home, you hurry up to put your suitcase in your girlfriend’s room and go to take a shower. Having slept during the flight, you don't feel particularly tired and rather in line with the time it is in Australia. You just have time to get dressed and to brush your hair that Simone comes knocking gently at the door of the bathroom.

"They are here in like two minutes"

"I’m ready" you smile as you gently open the door.

According to the little plan you had fun preparing in the car, you will hide in the kitchen while the two sisters shower in turn. When Caitlin is back in the living room, her mother joins her and offers her a mischievous smile.

"I brought you something from the supermarket and I'm pretty sur you’ll like it"

"What is it?" Caitlin asks, gently frowning.

"Come and see"

Curiosity making her forget for the first time your lack of news, Caitlin gets up from the sofa and follows her mother with attention to the kitchen. In which you are sitting on the central island with a big smile. The surprise that appears on Caitlin’s face when she sees you is so big that you can’t help but laugh. Her eyes almost came out of her head.

"Surprise!" you happily sing, swinging your legs before jumping from the furniture to join her.

Still in shock, Caitlin hasn't moved an inch but her arms surround your waist when you take her in her arms.

"What are you doing here?" Caitlin stutters before releasing you to look at you.

"I wanted to visit Australia and I told myself that you would not be too bad as a local guide" you answered, shrugging your shoulders.

You see her blinking and looking at your face for a few extra seconds, like she’s hallucinating.

"Come on, kiss the girl!" tease Jamie who watched the scene from the entrance of the kitchen.

It seems to bring Caitlin back to reality, but Simone comes out of the kitchen, dragging Jamie with her to let you enjoy your reunion.

This time she takes you in her arms, in an embrace ready to break your ribs. You let her do it, of course, passing your arms around her body and pressing your face into the hollow of her neck.

"I missed you" you whisper against her skin, finding back with pleasure the smell of your girlfriend.

Caitlin shudders when your breath tickles her skin and it makes you smile. But, right after, she gently takes your face between her two hands and looks at you carefully.

"I can’t believe you’re here" she whispers

You smile softly and put your hand on her to intertwine your fingers. You obviously hoped that you coming would please her, you were even afraid that your arrival would bother her a little and that she would have preferred to spend more time with her family. But just with the way she looks at you, you know she’s happy you’re here. Maybe you don't not how happy, but you know she is.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Of course you can, since when do you even ask?" you laugh softly.

If the first kiss she gives you is tender and delicate, Caitlin gradually regains confidence. Then, when you both need to catch your breath, you have the right to have kisses all over your face, then again on your lips before she tightens you against her.

"How long will you be here?" Caitlin asks after putting a final kiss on your cheek.

"I’ll go home at the same time as you, if it's ok?"

"Of course it is" smiles Caitlin

You are interrupted by your mother-in-law who comes to inform you that the meal is ready and Caitlin grabs you by the hand to train you in the dining room. She won’t let go your hand throughout the meal, forcing you to cut your food with one hand, but it’s for a good cause. You see her roll her eyes when her sister teases her about her bad mood at the beginning of the day, but a simple glance in your direction reminds her that it was worth it.

"Do you want to go for a walk on the beach?" asks Caitlin after dinner.

You gladly accept and about twenty minutes later you arrive on the beach, hand in hand. You’ve never been to the place where Caitlin grew up, when you were there during the World Cup, you stayed in the cities where you and your team played.

You smile as you catch Caitlin staring at you from the corner of her eye and arching an eyebrow.

"What?" you ask, laughing softly.

"I’m trying to get used to the idea that you’re really here. I feel like if I stop looking at you you’re going to disappear" Caitlin says, carefully avoiding looking at you.

"As long as you’re not fed up with me, I’m not going anywhere" you tell her with a smile.

It seems to be enough for her since she releases your hand to pass her arm around your shoulders. And you take the opportunity to slip your hand into the back pocket of her shorts.

"I’ll never get tired of you, for your information"

"Good to know" you laugh softly "Was it also the case when you sulked because I didn't write to you?"

You’re only teasing her, but seeing how pouty Caitlin is, maybe it’s still a little early. Besides, she presses an accusing finger on your chest while answering.

"Don’t be an ass. I was really worried"

When you roll your eyes smiling, she frowns again.

"I thought I had pretty well prepared the ground by telling you I had a long day"

"A 14-hour day?"

"It’s not my fault if the girlfriend I chose come from the other side of the globe" you point out.

A little smile is finally back on Caitlin’s face and you put a kiss on her cheek.

You turn your attention to the landscape around you and admire the view. Fine sand and the ocean as far as the eye can see. There are fewer people than you could have imagined, but it’s not to displease you.

"I used to come here a lot with Jamie and my friends when I was a teenager" Caitlin informs you.

"It’s beautiful" you comment by letting your eyes slide on the waves on the horizon.

"I used to think so too, but today is even better. Everything always looks better when you’re with me."

You put your attention back on your girlfriend and you can’t hold back the tender and slightly amused smile on your face. The vastness of the feelings you have for this girl scares you sometimes, but other times she has an way to verbalize her own feelings that it takes your breath away. And the worst part is that she doesn’t even realize it.

Another proof again today since she seems surprised to feel your lips crashing on hers and the strength with which you kiss her. So much so that it takes her a few seconds to react and respond to your kiss. You still don’t know that this kiss will be immortalized by people who recognized you and that this photo will be on social media, but you won’t care when you realize it.

Caitlin is your girlfriend and you couldn’t be happier.

[blu3-ja3]

Chapter 2: We Let It Go

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

The nightclub bouncer job is going well and the regulars have already given Simon a nickname that being Ghost. Because he's got very quiet footsteps for such a large man and he's constantly wearing black. If you aren't paying attention and just see Simon from the of your eye it's like seeing a ghost. He's learned Gary and Kyle's nicknames are Roach and Gaz. And no one questions Simon about his mask or the constant covering of his face. The only problem...

Simon Riley cannot handle his hot as sin roommate... At all. If he didn't know he was gay before John MacTavish would very quickly change that. Simon has been living with Johnny for 3 months, they've been a good three months.

But Johnny is one hell of a tease and Simon Riley is as dense as a brick when it comes to being flirted with. He's also not good with his own emotions so he's having one hell a time figuring out if he likes Johnny or if he just really wants to fuck him and be done. But Simon's starting to think it's more the former than the latter.

The first big tip to that thought is Johnny refusing to let anyone else call him Johnny. Simon has heard patrons trying to call MacTavish; Johnny, only for him to cut them off. At first Simon was worried that Johnny was going to tell him to stop but one night he heard MacTavish talking to Price about he nickname.

"Only Simon can pull it off, he's the only one I let call me Johnny..." Simon hearing those words from MacTavish made some deeply possessive, feral part of him purr with satisfaction. A small voice keeps telling him to make Johnny his, forever and always.

There's so much about John MacTavish that Simon finds irresistible, that makes his heart jump and his soul beg to make Johnny his.

MacTavish's eyes are the first one that comes to Simon's mind. The heat Simon feels every time Johnny stares at him makes his heart speed up. There's such a critical curiosity to them, like Simon holds the answers to every question MacTavish has. And when his dark brown eyes meet Johnny's endless blue eyes, Simon feels like he's been set adrift in the endless ocean.

Those eyes paired with Johnny's smile makes Simon's heart stop beating. It's like Simon is staring into the sun and he's all too happy to go blind if it means he can see Johnny smile just one more time. And when Simon gets that wolfish smile from Johnny it does something to Simon that makes him go mad with an ache that Simon has no idea is called lust. He's experienced wanting someone but this was a million wants wrapped together and set a flame.

Another part of Johnny that makes Simon ache like that is the man's voice. He's very talkative which Simon miraculously finds endearing, no what sets that ache aflame is when Johnny stretches out. When the man raises his arms above his and reaches up, the moans and groans that fall from Johnny's lips are heavenly. Then he does it in public around his friends and Kyle laughs at Simon, the shock that must have been visible in his eyes and on his brows. Only for Kyle to inform Simon that those are very common and normal noises for MacTavish. That small possessive voice in Simon's head isn't happy about that little fact.

But it's quieted by the fact that no one else comes home to Johnny after a long day. The satisfaction Simon feels knowing he's the only one who gets to see Johnny sprawled out over the couch is immense. Seeing him laid out, legs spread, one arm slung over the back of the couch and the other covering his eyes is like Simon staring at fine art. Simon is more than happy to give up the couch for a bit if it means seeing such fine artistry.

And Johnny truly is the perfect muse, Simon has seen the man shirtless a great many times due to Johnny working out shirtless in his room. The first time will forever be engraved into Simon's mind, he walks into the kitchen to do something he's immediately forgotten about as he watched Johnny's back as he does pull ups in the frame of his door. Watching the construction and release of MacTavish's muscle as he moves felt almost pornographic to Simon. It took everything he had not to do filthy things to Johnny against the door frame.

But the memory that still haunts Simon, the one that reappears into his mind at some of the worst possible times, is when Simon first touched himself to the thought of Johnny. It had been a very long day for both of them, Johnny and Gary had to work hard at the nightclub bar. There was a huge bachelorette party that took a particular liking towards Simon and Johnny that night and they milked that for all its worth. But that took a toll on them so they were exhausted.

Simon was sat on the couch watching something he doesn't remember when the bathroom door opened. Steam clouds billowed out and perfectly framed the sight before Simon.

Johnny, still toweling off his hair, almost completely naked aside from a small towel hugging his hips. Simon's eyes immediately catch on the two silver nipple piercings and matching belly button piercing. Simon figured Johnny had more piercings beyond his ears and nose but seeing them is very different than thinking about them.

And then Simon's eyes caught the single water droplet that started to slip down Johnny's body. It started at his collarbone going down his chest, down his stomach and hip only to slip into the V of the man's navel before disappearing into the towel. Simon slowly raked his vision back up towards Johnny's face only to see a deep shade of pink across his cheeks and ears. Simon met Johnny's eyes for the briefs of moments before they darted down to his lips.

"Sorry... I, uh, completely forgot you lived here too..."

"Bloody Hell" was the only thing Simon's brain supplied him before he got up and left for his room. He waited until he heard Johnny's door closed before slipping out and into the shower. He took longer than usual that night to shower.

It took a few days before Simon could look at Johnny in the face without his mind supplying him with images of Johnny in a towel.

But Simon Riley was never very good at listening to his emotions and he's even worse at picking up on hints and subtle flirting.

[veryloudbrain]

walter + henry "masterpost" (canon)

season 1

1x01 they sit together at dinner(?). before wille grabs their attention, they seem deep in conversation and HENRY GLANCES AT WALTER’S LIPS (im delulu ..but not really). this is their first canon interaction. i cannot make this shit up. i’m losing my mind. they sit together in class. they stick close (walter is fucking leaning on henry) at the very first party (after wille’s initiation). they’re both drinking. walter is spotted without henry for like a literal millisecond (idk where his mans went). walter and henry hang with stella and felice (at least until felice runs off to throw up lol) when wille is like,, crowdsurfing (using that term loosely) walter is not with henry mans lost him where is he.. (probably throwing up somewhere idk)

1x02 simon sits between them at lunch.

they sit together in class (on monday? the party was friday.. i assume)

math tests are handed out. they sit close and show their grades to eachother. (comparing results maybe ?)

wille mentions they take private lessons.. together ? over the weekend ? bro i cant defend them. (not that i want to)

henry joins rowing practice. they’re wearing MATCHING SHIRTS. i cannot make this shit up.

they’re both attending rowing practice still when august.. kisses simon (LMAO)

they debatably sit together at the movie night. they’re social distancing for some reason but no one is between them. henry looks over at walter (i’m delulu, he was probably looking at august) after The Jumpscare

1x03 the week after the horror movie (exact day unknown) henry sits with wille in class, but walter is in the seat literally next to him just,, with a space lol

(same week) they work out on the SAME GODDAMN MAT in p.e (either that or their mats are placed so close they don’t show a space.. idk which is gayer tbh)

they stick together during the parents day, but sit in different rows in church (..for some reason?)

after church neither of them are spotted interacting with any adult or even eachother in the background. they went ~poof~

i think you see walter entering his dorm? but it could be a different background actor honestly i don't know

for breakfast the day after: henry mentions to walter that his dad recognized his surname.

“no, i know” “how long have you known?” “i know because my… my dad recognized your surname”

this convo confirms to me that they didn’t know eachother before hillerska.

note: the convo was very light-hearted and henry was smiling (this has lead to theories about their parents having dated in the past, i also heard that uno, walter's actor, confirmed this but i haven't seen this for myself so i'm not sure)

1x04 they sit together while watching erik’s funeral on TV the Society "meeting". henry is never technically explicitly shown to drink or take pills but he seems inebriated and picks up a pack of pills from the table so i'm gonna assume he did both (so much fanfic potential i'm clawing at the walls)

1x05 they’re not sitting together in class, both having 2 desks by themselves until wille joins henry. walter is in the seat directly behind him. (side note: henry is wearing the same goddamn sweater he was at the Society meeting. was it washed or does he just stink of booze in class ? LMAO)

plot explained why they aren’t sitting together !! walter was meant to do a presentation with alexander and therefore left the seat for him.

they sit together again in class. this would be the week after the class they didn’t.

henry attends another Society “emergency meeting” (alexander was caught with the drugs) (this isn't walty but idc)

henry looks stressed/conflicted after the 2nd Society emergency meeting, but walks out with wille. (probably hard for him cause he can tell something’s going on between wille and simon, but pinning it on alexander is also a shitty thing to do)

they(walty) stand together outside before the whole lucia thing starts.

walter is fiddling with something with his left hand. it doesn’t show up in the shot, but henry is right there on his left. (they were obviously having a thumb war /j)

they’re both talking with wille after the lucia thing, but they’re so caught up in their conversations they don’t even bat an eye when wille’s whole life falls apart (it's not funny but it's really fucking funny)

1x06 at breakfast sometime after the video got out. henry and walter are talking abt how wilmon sat together at the movie night and that they talked abt it after.

h “remember the movie night?” w “yeah” h “when they sat next to eachother” w “exactly!” h “we talked abt that” w “yeah we talked abt that!”

(as if they weren’t also sitting next to eachother)

in class sometime that week (tuesday or later) they sit separate in class again. walter is gossiping (or just talking tbh idk) with some other students while henry sits alone. wille sits next to henry and henry attempts small talk with wille to cut the tension) (walty are once again only separated by the aisle lol)

they sit together in church on christmas day (or eve ? i’m not sure honestly)

they also talk together (+vincent och nils) outside church after. henry quickly noticed wilmon hugging (gay noticing gay frfr)

[i need it to be known this was initially written by me right after season 2 came out and i rewatched everything]

[not-goldy]

Some people clearly don't get it. NDA's are a given from BTS. I imagine they probably don't want to do it, but Hybe for sure isn't gonna let these men run around sleep with random people and have them not sign NDA's and run the risk of ruining BTS reputation. Look at Raven Simone who admitted she made all her partners sign NDA's including her wife. That's show business. And it means the person can't do anything or say anything to link to you without risk of being sued or jailed depending on the contract.

Take Nain for example. When Jk DM'd her and everyone was screaming he was a pedo cause she's underage, she stopped and he stopped. He was posting about her often, even tagging her on IG doing her choreo and she was running around showing his DM's and changing her YT name to what he suggested (which is the same name he has on Bam's IG, but just a play on the word Night/Bam) but did you see how quick it took for her to be silenced? So you think JK magically stopped interacting with her and she just decided to be done with him? Or was it he told her to be quiet or Hybe told her to be quiet and respect his privacy and she respected that? Even as friends or Jk just being supportive, Hybe wants no dating scandals. Which is what people were suggesting about him and Nain. So either JK or Hybe set her straight. Which is why when Tae's leaks happened they weren't prepared and didn't know what to say. They couldn't deny it cause it's clearly him in all them pictures with jennie and in Jeju in the car and in Paris. They could only say we don't comment on artists personal lives. Then Tae said fuck it and went public with her holding her hand, cause its the only way he can confirm cause he can't verbally. He said I'm Kim Taehyung bitch. I made Hybe, Hybe didn't make me and he went on vacation with his girlfriend and showed her off to the world. However he went quiet shortly after Paris, which should tell you Hybe does in fact have the last say. Which is shameful, but its their policy. So anyone who thinks someone is gonna hook up with BTS, get cozy in their house and take videos of it and then slowly leak those videos on their own personal IG's, are insane. They would use burner accounts or be anonymous untraceable sources, cause they know they'd be breaking an NDA and going up against Hybe & BTS. Nain found out the hard way. If You brag about DM's. You find out. So I don't believe Jimin's lie being spread. Sorry and I do believe JK when he says he has no GF. So that means whoever was on that tape is nothing to him or its over, if there was even something. Jikook are together right now and nothing can change that and It's all I'm focused on right now.

I agree... except Hybe can't force them to use one in their personal affairs.

It defeats the whole purpose of NDAs if hybe could force them to due to something called privity of contracts and duress and undue influence which legally vitiates contracts💀

It would be easy for them to get out of such contract if they could show hybe forced them to use them🥴

If a clause like that exists it would be unenforceable.

Whatever power hybe has over them is in yet another contract called their contract of employment which controls relations between them and hybe and not third parties who aren't privy to the contract and its nothing they haven't willingly agreed to. Hybe cannot contract with them to bind a third party who has not agreed to that contract.

I think Hybe can advice them to use them for their own good but can't require them to use them in their personal lives. Think about it, no one would want to fuck with them if they felt the company could come after them and no one would sign that NDA either. a provision like that would make it too tedious for them to navigate human relationships.

It's their personal lives, something they have to decide on with their personal lawyers and not hybe.

If hybe is requiring them to that's over stepping their boundaries and they need to lawyer up fast.

But I do see what you mean and I agree

[trojanteapot]

tl;dr the numbers in Infinity Train makes no sense and makes this scientist want to scream cry and throw up

Being an astronomer that is also a fan of Infinity Train honestly gives me psychic damage when it comes to how absolute bonkers this number system is. For most of my life after Book 3 I have chosen to ignore it for the sake of my sanity but I cannot any longer.

For example, let's take a look at these two screenshots:

So in the screenshot on the left, Grace is something like 13-14, and on the right, she's 17-18 or something. The point is, this is roughly 4 or so years apart right?

Now take a closer look at Grace's number on the right screenshot:

So there's around 15 visible digits. Which would mean that her number is in the 10^15 range, or a quadrillion, right? Nope.

There's digits all around her arm. So let's use our physics brains and assume her arm is a perfect cylinder, and that 3 digits spans the diameter of this cylinder. So with grade school math we know the circumference is pi*diameter, so actually she would have 3 times as many digits on her arm at that moment.

3*15 = 45

her number is in the order of 10^45.

10^45. One with 45 zeroes behind it.

Do you KNOW how MASSIVE that number is?????

BUT WAIT you say, her arm isn't a perfect cylinder, her wrist is smaller than her elbow. Fine. 10^40 then.

Coincidentally, when I made a number glove for my Simon cosplay, it also ended up having roughly 40 digits on it, but I digress.

LET'S PUT 10^40 INTO PERSPECTIVE.

This is the Sun.

In terms of kilograms, the sun weighs 2x10^30 kilograms. So again, that is 2 with THIRTY ZEROES behind it.

But if Grace's number at the beginning of Book 3 was a mass in kilograms, it would be at least ten orders of magnitude greater than that. Not ten times. Ten orders of magnitude. In other words, TEN BILLION TIMES THE MASS OF THE SUN.

Do you know what is ten billion times the mass of the Sun?!

THE LARGE MAGELLANIC CLOUD

So, Infinity Train writers, you are telling me, that in the span of four years. Grace's number went from 702 to A FUCKING GALAXY SIZED NUMBER?!

Okay chief. Sure. Why not.

[shmowder]

Back to your dom/sub tierlist for a bit. Which of the doms and switches on your list would prefer an obedient sub and which would prefer a bratty one?

I personally feel like Andrey would definitely go for a bratty, feisty sub, as would Bad Grief when he's domming. They both seem like they'd be into someone who's a free spirit. When Grief moves into the Cathedral and you don't get rid of Barley, he says, "There's some undeniable freedom inside you." Idk, I keep thinking about that.

Also, something tells me Daniil and Mark might have fun with a brat? Georgiy might get something out of putting them in their place, but I don't know if he'd like it, necessarily.

Everyone else, though, I think would prefer an obedient sub. They're too serious. This is perhaps influenced by the tragic absence of brat bones in my body 😔 I'd love to hear your thoughts even if they're different from mine!

🐿️ anon

Those are really good ideas omfg we are on the same wavelength

All the Kains claim they want an obedient bottom but really, they want a brat to break and wear down until they obey their every word.

Not all the characters hold the same intentions for the type of reader they want. For example, Aglaya would try to get you to obey her every word and follow her rules while Mark Immortell thrives on tricking you and making you accidentally break the rules. Aspity wants you to have blind trust and faith in her while being completely unhinged.

Or the spoiled Reader. Victor would be still try to show he's in control, while someone like Rubin would steal the moon from the sky for you and be at your beck and call for every need. Lara is more authoritarian while Artemy is more sentimental in bed.

The enthusiastic category refers to a bottom reader who makes their partner know how much they want them, how much they're enjoying this and absolutely smitten with their partner.

Dom or top Characters there would be down bad for a reader who showers them in compliments and drowns them in love.

Yulia would absolutely melt from the affection.

While someone like Eva would match your energy and return it tenfolds.

General Block would find your enthusiasm refreshing, especially since he has no use for coyness or shyness. He wants someone direct and as honest about wanting him as he is about them.

Anna thrives under attention and praise, stroking her ego is the best way to ensure she has a great time in bed. She doubles her efforts to impress you and show off her flexibility.

With brat Reader, someone like Maria would get an absolute thrill from breaking you down.

While someone like Georgiy would gradually wear you down and make you concede on your own.

Andrey would take you up on your big talk and all bark no bite, then ask why you're quiet all of the sudden, huh? He earned his arrogance and the right to be confident because he knows he can follow up with his promises.

With Daniil, it's like having a brat off? He'd love an obedient reader just as much ngl, but I had to make him pick a side. He claims he can handle a brat, but absolutely cannot in reality and end up getting his ego hurt when he can't get you to obey him. Dankovsky can only tame the softest of brats.

The powerbottom category is super fitting.

Someone like Oyun would willingly give up power and let you pull him around by the horns and take the lead.

While Katerina would pretend to put up a fight for power and lose at the last minute.

Peter is there because it's less work to do for him during sex, he's– Well he isn't the most attentive partner, you'll do most of the work.

Young Vlad actually wants to be overpowered. He would piss you off deliberately just to have you ride his face out of spite.

-

Isidor is... well... Listen. All of us thought about being sandwiched between Isidor and Simon at least once, right? That is a very normal and common thought that everyone in the pathologic fandom has at least once...right???

He'd want you to obey, that man has very little control about the things around him; his bedroom won't be one of them.

Simon is a little fucking shit I tell you. He'd walk on you and Isidor doing the deed all unbothered just to have a conversation with him then leave without sparing you at glance, at other times he's very attentive in bed and lets you be freely without rules or anything.

[comewithmeintothedeep]

yeah so i meant like actual LGBTQ spaces that don't 99% cater to cishet women but thanks for the holier-than-thou answer.

As a bisexual bigender woman who has one partner who's non-binary and ace and the other who's cis and demisexual, I do not appreciate this answer nor the snide dismissive tone in response to my attempt to simply kindly educate people about the reality that 'cishet' isn't something you can assume based on...anything, really.

Like, the fact of the matter is that you cannot assume that anyone is 'catering to the cishets' in any capacity. That kind of attitude is how we have situations like Becky Albertalli, the author of Love, Simon, who had been accused for a long time of being a 'cishet white woman writing gays for the straights' until she had to come out publicly about being bisexual - not because she wanted to or felt comfortable doing so, but because she specifically wanted to stop people throwing hate and vitriol at her because they just...assumed that she was a straight writing gays to pander to the straights, so she had to make this aspect of her that she didn't want to make public public to stem the flow of harassment she was getting because of this.

To this day, she STILL gets this treatment/false assumption thrown her way (albeit significantly less, though it still happens).

Bottom line, you cannot assume ANYONE is straight or queer if they have not specifically said so and you ESPECIALLY cannot assume anything of the sort based on their writing or what they produce. If you could, I would have some very interesting assumptions about the authors and artists behind the original Argentinian Cybersix comic because...well, the themes in it are very telling.

But both gentlemen are dead and have been for decades, and thus cannot confirm or deny the idea that they may have been entertaining and expressing a desire to be transgender by expressing it through their work. They cannot speak for themselves, so I cannot assume that they are or are not. The themes are present even if the gentlemen themselves are not and it's an important piece of art that yes, while DEEPLY flawed and sometimes extremely inappropriate and entirely fair to criticize, is an important window into post WWII Argentinian culture, including how they saw queerness and gender.

So no, I'm not gonna make my space 'not friendly' to 'cishet women.' It is not my place nor yours to assume anyone's gender or sexuality when they consume or produce art and writing and is it not reasonable to expect anyone to prove that they have 'queerness cred' to be accepted as 'valid.'

Every single reader here is entitled to their identity and is entitled to enjoy - or not enjoy, that's fine too - my content or anyone else's content in this space in peace and the reasonable expectation that they are welcome and that their identities are welcome and accepted, but ALLOWED to be private. No one should have to prove that they're 'queer' enough to belong.

And, quite frankly, if you're not willing to let cishets who AREN'T queer into your spaces if they do so with innocent/good intentions, you will alienate plenty of people who will be frightened away from accepting/learning about identities that might open their eyes to their own misconceptions about gender and sexuality and introduce them to different kinds of relationships outside of sexuality and their relationship with their own genders, even if they still don't turn out to be queer. We need to be open to allowing people who aren't queer into our spaces because that's how we get meaningful conversations that lead the way to progress.

Either we get more members of our minority, more genuinely meaningful and strong allies who will stand with us and support us, or our ideas won't be seen as so alien and strange and will be more widespread and accepted. If you ask me, these benefits are worth the risks, especially in low-risk and low-stakes spaces as literature and spaces devoted to smutty (and non-smutty) monster-themed fiction.

Everyone belongs here so long as you mean no harm, and NOBODY is required to 'prove their validity' to belong. You're entitled to your identity, you're entitled to keep it private if you're not comfortable being open about it or if you're still figuring it out, and you don't even have to be queer to belong here as long as you're here in good faith to share our space and learn more about us as a community, as people, and treat us with respect.

This is no space for exclusionists. End of story.

[snootlestheangel]

SoapGhost Playlist Ft. My Autism

@thorougly-melted-brains @midnight193 *edit: just realized I should have put links for all the songs, but um... I did not so good luck cause I don't feel like it*

3 Things

This is entirely composed of Imagine Dragons. That's kinda the whole point of this. If you have nothing kind to say about my band of choice, say nothing at all. *Yes, I will still put 'by Imagine Dragons' after every song*

In order of which ones I believe are Most SoapGhost to least. Some songs are entirely because of vibes. I'll explain the best I can for some of them.

There will be mentions of some MW3 spoilers but I don't go into detail. It's more like the reason one of the songs is SoapGhost coded to me is because of MW3 but not like explicitly... That makes no sense, but you'll see (and NO I do not want to discuss MW3 or my opinion on it. My only opinion is it was cheap and who needs canon anyways)

West Coast by Imagine Dragons

Where do I even begin on this one??? The actual instrumental element to it reminds me heavily of like their time in Las Almas for some reason? Which kind of doesn't make sense, but oh well.

"One more day, we'll spend together/Lay your eyes, look upon me for the better/Oh I know, I'm worse for weather/But my love I won't give up/Spend my days, cursing my soul/Wishing I could paint my scars to make me whole/Oh I know, I could be better/But my love, I won't give up"

Like tell me this isn't Ghost addressing Soap upon realizing his love for him. Like tell me this isn't Ghost realizing how far he's fallen for Soap after everything that happened during and after the "Alone" mission!! And actually listening to the song helps so much cause like the melody and the way the words are sung is just so desperate yet so devoted and just *dies*.

"I ain't no superman/I ain't no holy ghost/I'm just the one that keeps you up at night, you love the most/I'll be your strong man/I'll be your west coast/I'll be the sun, I'll be the waves, I'll be the one that loves you most"

The refrain itself gives me goosebumps in like a happy upbeat way. The actual verses are so mellow and almost sorrowful but the refrain is something so upbeat, almost. It's like it's actually Ghost realizing how far he's willing to go for Soap and he's just confessing it with such confidence because he needs to. He loves Soap and Soap deserves something strong.

"I'll change my ways, if you would stay/And all your tears that you have cried will go away/Oh just grant me one more day/Oh, my love, please don't give up"

Soap addressing Ghost this time. Soap believing he's too confident, too cocky, too bold, too much for Ghost. "I'll change my ways if you would stay" literally screams Soap with confidence issues wanting nothing more than to be with Ghost, but so afraid Ghost doesn't want him. Soap seeing all the pain Ghost has been through in his life and just wanting to heal it, wanting to make Ghost whole again, and wanting to help Simon find reasons to smile. Soap begging for time to prove to Ghost he's worth it (either Soap proving himself to Ghost or proving to Ghost that Ghost is worthy)

"See the devil at my door/I see the future of the ones that I've ignored/I guess I was born to be at war/But my love, I won't give up"

Once again back to Ghost addressing Soap. This is such a strong Ghost verse I cannot explain it to you. "I guess I was born to be at war" literally Ghost-coded?? Like literally grew up with an abusive father and struggled with all sorts of shit in his life, even without the military??? But now he's got Soap so he can't give up.

"So my love please don't give up"

Literally both of them, just desperately begging the other to hang on, to keep fighting and loving each other to the ends of the earth.

Just one of the most SoapGhost coded songs I have in any of my playlists, literally listened to it on repeat after hearing it for the first time cause the first time i heard it was back in February when I first fell victim to the COD brainrot. It just immediately struck me as SoapGhost (was definitely influenced by the fact I was thinking of them but still)

Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons

"I'm bleeding out/So if the last thing that I do / is bring you down, I'll bleed out for you/So I bare my skin and I count my sins and I close my eyes and I take it in/I'm bleeding out/I'm bleeding out for you."

BRUH literally so Ghost-coded it isn't even funny. Like, Ghost being made up of so many scars, some of which still feel like open wounds in his mind, finding this thing of perfection that is Johnny "Soap" MacTavish and suddenly realizing that if he's gonna die it might as well be for Johnny. Ghost not wanting to drag Johnny down into the mess that he is and that comes with 'Ghost' and being like "I'd rather bleed out on the ground than bring you to ruin"

"When the day has come/That I've lost my way around/And the seasons stop, and hide beneath the ground/When the sky turns grey, and everything is screaming/I will reach inside, just to find my heart is beating"

This section is a lot more about vibes and the idea I've been playing around with making a SoapGhost fic where it's based on this song. This segment is so "Ghost falling deep into the dark side of this persona he's created but then remembering the life Johnny gave back to him"

"Oh you tell me to hold on/Oh you tell me to hold on/But innocence is gone/And what was right is wrong"

Um... just realizing this is very much the "Alone" mission after Graves's betrayal and honestly? Kind of MW3 coded ngl...

"When the hour is nigh/And hopelessness is sinking in/When the wolves all cry, to fill the night with hollering/When your eyes are red, and emptiness is all you know/With the darkness fed, I will be your scarecrow"

Tell me this isn't SoapGhost!!!! Just this whole song is actually secretly the way Ghost reveals he's an amateur poet cause he writes this as his declaration of love rather than be fucking normal.

Follow You by Imagine Dragons

More or less about vibes. Some of the lyrics definitely Soap addressing Ghost coded.

"I'm always on your team/I got your back, all right"

Like tell me this isn't Johnny "You know it, Lt." MacTavish addressing Simon "You with me, Johnny?" Riley.

"If the world would only know what you've been holding back/Heart attacks every night/Oh you know it's not right"

Somehow very much the two of them but I can't tell who is addressing whom here... Somehow kind of feel like Ghost being like "I get to fuck John "Soap" MacTavish everyone else go home". I genuinely don't know how to describe the feeling behind this particular line but it's so SoapGhost coded.

"I will follow you way down, wherever you may go/I'll follow you way down to your deepest lows/I'll always be around, wherever life takes you/You know I'll follow you"

Guys... Like this is so SoapGhost. Just both being like "I'd follow you to hell and back" but in a much less cliche way.

"You're only disappointed in yourself, all right"

This is someone, maybe not necessarily Ghost, addressing Soap and his chronic self-esteem issues.

"I wish that I could fix it, I could fix it for you"

Soap to Ghost talking about Ghost's shitty life. Tell me I'm wrong I dare you.

Walking the Wire by Imagine Dragons

"Do you feel the same when I'm away from you?/Do you know the line that I'd walk for you?/We could turn around or we could give it up/But we'll take what comes, take what comes/Oh the storm is raging against us now/If you're afraid of falling then don't look down/But we took the step or we took the leap/And we'll take what comes, take what comes/Feel the wind in your hair/Feel the rush way up here"

*strangled noises* I know this is by far their most like "love song" song but like!!!!!!! "Do you know the line that I'd walk for you?" Um Ghost and Soap both risking their careers cause it's a Sergeant and a Lieutenant (at least Soap cause let's be honest, with Ghost being legally dead it'd probably be pretty hard to actually do something to his career without un-killing him).

"We could turn around or we could give it up" screams the two just being like "well if we don't wanna risk it we could just...not?"

"but we'll take what comes" literally kills me because they're so in love and Soap especially doesn't give a shit about what that does to his career, he just wants to love Simon :')

"Oh the storm is raging against us now" Could be the aftermath of getting caught fraternizing OR the two during the "Alone" mission and anything afterwards.

"If you're afraid of falling then don't look down" so many interpretations here but also the quite literal one which is Ghost sniping Hassan and saving Soap :)

"We're walking the wire, love"

Ghost to Soap during times they could easily get caught

"And there's tears we'll cry but those tears will fade/It's the price we pay when it comes to love"

So strongly believe this is just them being like "we'll go through so much together, but that doesn't matter cause we've got each other" Literally just such a beautiful line in my opinion and yeah

The River by Imagine Dragons

Have no argument for this one other than Vibes and the fact I (somehow) first listened to this song the day I learned about the MW3 spoilers so uh yeah. If you know, you know and uh good luck!

I might do a part 2 someday. I don't feel like going through any more songs tonight but this was definitely fun being able to put down my thoughts behind these songs in particular. I need to spread the brain rot!!!

[synchodai]

Episode 6 Live Reaction

I liked it! Best parts are the Larys and Mysaria scenes and the worst parts continue to be the Black council scenes.

New tapestry addition: is that Aemond raising the sword? And the blood is black now for some reason...

Lannister host from the sigils — Jason Lannister!!! Yes, I love seeing non-Targs on my screen! It just makes the world a bigger place and conflict more realistic.

Jason Lannister sounds like Prince Charming from Shrek, I love it.

It's actually a pretty good and realistic addition that the highborn aren't willing to fight a dragon without a dragon backing them. Not all of them would have this attitude ofc (the northmen have a deathwish and wouldn't gaf), but someone like Jason Lannister would.

RED KRAKEN MENTIONED! KRAKENNATION WE STAY NOT SOWING!

"I'll fly up to meet you when the time is right." For a dragon war that can be ended more quickly if someone with the most dragons just swarmed everyone, these people sure don't wanna use them. In the book, Aemond was less scrupulous about using Vhagar while Rhaenyra was less inclined to send out dragons prior the dragonseeds because it would be her and her sons who would be directly in the line of fire.

Tbh, if I was Aemond I would fire my mom too, she technically doesn't have anything to do at the table. If she were actually treating with lords to get more support or doing Princess Diana PR appearances to ingratiate the smallfolk, she'd have something to offer the council, but her job right now begins and ends with complaining about everyone else's plans.

Gods, Rhaenyra we get it—stop complaining about how your hands are tied. It doesn't project power or wisdom to your lords who are listening!

"Dragons are gods." Only exceptionalists would say this. Otherwise, it's blasphemy to the Seven. But Steffon Darklyn being an exceptionalist would make sense.

"I do not compel you to do this." UGH, STOP WRITING RHAENYRA LIKE THIS. She was raised a highborn princess—she's lived her entire life ordering people around! Even "softer" monarchs like Robb Stark and Daenerys didn't end every command with "Please" or "if it's not too much trouble." They knew they had to project power and confidence. Rhaenyra acts like a person who's never been in a court of people who would jump at the chance to criticize her for appearing weak. You cannot mask the fact that she is ordering her people to death in pleasantries. "Go to war for me" isn't made better by the ruler saying "only if you want to." It just makes her look weak and unconvinced of her own plans and power.

Omg welcome back, Paddy Considine!

Weird that Daemon suspects Simon Strong first before the actual woman who greeted him by announcing his death, but okay.

"Perhaps those who strive to wear it are the least suited to wear it." Ugh, it's giving s8 GOT "ambitions are bad, wanting power for any reason is bad, the only good stance is apoliticism" vibes.

Why is the bastard lowborn woodswitch spouting about the burdens of the crown? It like a regular citizen saying, "oh, it must be so hard being the president" which is technically true but not something someone whose primary interaction with the president is through taxation would say.

And now Daemon is asking the bastard lowborn woodswitch for her counsel. Unlike Mysaria, she hasn't proven to have any politically valuable skill — she's just been scolding him this entire time (like what Alicent does in her council). Scolding the men in charge is not a valuable political contribution in and of itself, you know.

Her "counsel" was the most basic information anyone could tell him. "Ally with the liege to get the support of all his vassals" wow, groundbreaking, Alys. Does Daemon not already know about House Tully?

Love the dragon-claiming scene though. It's immensely tense. This show is good when people don't have dialogue.

Did no one think to bring a flame retardant to the dragon-claiming? If Seasmoke lashed out at everyone, them leaving Steffon to burn would be much easier to swallow.

I kinda love Alyn's hesitance because he knows the precarity of being a secret bastard Velaryon. Yes, it could elevate him, but it could also end up with his head chopped off.

"Nothing but fish in this damn city." If the blockade is the thing causing the food shortage, it should be everything but fish.

"It is my fault, I think, that you have forgotten to fear me." YES, RHAENYRA, FINALLY.

"This becomes you." Ohhhhh, now I see how Mysaria was Daemon's favorite, girl is so subtle and manipulative in her flattery.

"Why is this anger directed at us? It Rhaenyra the Pretender who blocks the Gullet..." Truuuueeeee.

Iron Rod looks so done when Larys does his powergrab, like "Ugh, not another upstart."

The Aemond-Larys scene was really good political posturing and intrigue. It shows that Aemond is smart enough to know he's being manipulated but not empathetic enough to handle Larys in a way that doesn't make an enemy of him.

TGC once again having a great performance. Truly, the king who serves. And Aemond holding his hand by his wound? Judas kiss me, brother.

Oh no, why is.....oh no...a dragon travelled by itself to the Vale? I mean, even if it were foraging for more food, that's really far away and at the most inconvenient place.

LOVE Alyn shaving his head so that it won't show up as white *chef's kiss*

I LOVE ADDAM AND ALYN AND THIS DIALOGUE WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT THEIR TWO VIEWPOINTS ON THEIR BASTARDY

Jace, Jace, it rhymes with face. Addam might be giving him a run for his money though once he gets more screentime.

Orwyle speaking lines directly lifted from the book is such a good detail since he's one of the sources for Fire and Blood.

They're giving so much backstory and characterization to Gwayne "one-line in the book" Hightower 😭 Meanwhile, Baela still doesn't have a personality beyond crossbow and dragon.

All this talk about Daeron but still no Daeron in sight. It would be funny if they never cast him and just have the audience know he's doing stuff through other characters expositing.

I'm not sure what to think about the food plan. The point of a blockade is to starve and cut off resources, but if they were sending said resources directly to smallfolk and not armies or commanders....hmmm... Yeah, I'm sold. (But why wouldn't the guys who found the food just hoard it?)

Do the queensguard not have shields? Shield your charges, damn.

FINALLY, some actual believable violence and punishment. Gods, I was starting to forget we were in the pseudo middle ages.

Oh, this "riot" could have been waaaaay more bloody, but I suppose they're cutting out the gore sfx for the dragon sfx.

I remained quiet, seated, captivated, and enthralled by the Aegon-Larys scene.

I will never forgive HBO for cutting out Kermit and Elmo Tully. Never forget what they took from us.

Alys killing Grover is....intriguing. It does make her a more valuable and active ally and/or foe.

Daemon has such amazing and complex character work. As far as effort for developing these characters, it goes Daemon, Aegon, Alicent, Criston, Larys, Aemond, Rhaena, Alyn.....and Rhaenyra is still all the way down there with even her son out-nuancing her. She's been stuck on "they coddle me because I'm a woman and want Daemon instead" since episode 2.

"You have me." Rhaenyra x Mysaria 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Not the toxic yuri I expected, but maybe the one we deserved...

Welp, my new ship just started sailing.

FINALLY, Rhaenyra realized that if she wanted to go on a dragon, no one could technically stop her.

Jace's "Mother!" — no notes.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers West Coast #61: The IMMORTUS IMPERATIVE

August, 1990

AVENGERS West Coast vs IMMORTUS and the LEGION of the UNLIVING!

Well! A Legion of the Unliving! And an Immortus. Vs the Avengers. We've been here before. But not with this specific Legion of the Unliving. Is that Iron Man 2020? He's not even unliving yet! Way to think outside the current year, Immortus.

Anyway.

Last times on Avengers West Coast: John Byrne was building up to something with Scarlet Witch and Immortus. But he had beef with editorial so he took his ball and went home and now Roy and Dann Thomas are going to pick up the plot threads and tie them together as best as they can.

But in plot terms: Scarlet Witch has been having the worst several weeks of her life. Her husband was disassembled and rebuilt except without emotions so he fucked off to the other Avengers team. Wanda went catatonic except when she woke up to be capital E evil and then she went catatonic again.

While she was Evil, she joined up with Magneto for his vague plans and kept suggesting he murder people. But then she went catatonic while he had to fight the Avengers by himself. So he fucked off.

Immortus has been shown spying on the Avengers for Reasons and deleting divergent timelines for Reasons and after Magneto fucks off, Immortus shows up to claim everything has transpired according to his plans. Also, he's going to marry Wanda or something.

Sir. If Wanda takes up polygamy, you are not high on her list.

Honestly.

This era of Avengers has way too much Kang and Kang accessories in it.

Quicksilver (and Lockjaw via growls) tell Immortus to get his creepy self away from Wanda but Hank Pym is like dammit, let the villain monologue!

He says it's for Wanda's sake but I think he just knows we'll never know what the plot is if we don't let Immortus villainsplain at them.

Wasp: "Spoken like a true leader and founding father, Hank!"

God. Get off his dick, Wasp.

I'd hoped that her characterization being reduced to being Hank's cheerleader would go away with Byrne but forecast looks bad.

Hawkeye ignores Hank (because the Avengers West Coast don't have an official leader so Hawkeye thinks it should be him and therefore he can do what he wants) and shoots an arrow at Immortus.

Which bonks off thin air.

Wonder Man: "You know force fields are standard issue with supervillains, Hawk!"

Yeah, Clint. Are you a veteran or not?

Immortus takes issue with being called a villain and asks "do you apply such negative labels to everything you cannot understand?"

Which would hit harder if it were not Immortus and not a situation where he's mind-controlling a woman.

Hawkeye points out that Immortus has been causing trouble for the Avengers since issue #10. I mean, he's right. But how does he know that? Issue #10 got retconned.

And Wonder Man says that his own introduction in issue #9 happened a few weeks after the Immortus fight that didn't happen at all because it was retconned and as Simon describes it the issues would be in the wrong order even if it did happen and...

This way lies madness.

Despite his injured leg, Quicksilver isn't going to stand by letting Immortus talk even if Dr Pym, Wasp, and Iron Man say he should.

He tries to rush Immortus but Immortus has Time Powers.

Immortus: "You would use so pitiful a power as speed -- against one who controls time, without which speed is an inconceivable concept? I could take this single step backward -- or walk to Earth's Moon and return -- while you were merely careening into this other fool who thought to sneak up on his superior!"

So Immortus just steps out of the way of Quicksilver's charge and lets him collide with US Agent. But he describes it as TIME POWERS.

Immortus doesn't actually want to Explain It All and says he's protecting all timelines, source: trust me, bro.

But the Avengers don't trust him, bro.

Wasp tries to get Lockjaw to teleport Wanda away. But she's still in that time-space stasis field thing and that's immune to teleportation. And also, Immortus has Dog Sleepy Powers which he uses to make Lockjaw to sleep.

Supposedly.

Lockjaw continues standing around with his eyes open. So maybe Immortus doesn't know how to get the Dog Sleepy Powers to work.

The Avengers all rush Immortus, since he won't exposition at them.

Immortus sighs and decides okay fine, I'll just take you with me then. And teleports them all to Limbo.

Leaving behind a weird after image of himself in the Avengers' base.

Immortus' throne room has been redecorated to look more... organic, apparently. Immortus says that's because Limbo reflects his moods and he's been in an organic mood lately.

Sure, okay.

I'm not sure what he means because the background just looks like. Rock. Like a rocky cave that someone put a metal floor in and a throne.

Wonder Man thinks it's very impressive and says a set like this would cost the budget for three of the movies he's worked on.

Hawkeye: "Right about now, Simon, your movie career's the last thing I'm worried about!"

Hey, c'mon, Clint.

He's just describing it through his lived life experience. And reminding people that he's an actor who acts in movies.

Remember when Hawkeye showed new maturity by getting married and leading a team of his own? Remember when he and Wonder Man came to an understanding in the sauna that even though he was an actor, being a superhero was still Wonder Man's number one priority?

I can't believe I'm saying it but characterization has gone downhill since Englehart.

Whether on Earth or in Limbo, the Avengers are still ready to kick Immortus' ass. And apparently his TIME POWERS only work on Earth. Because Limbo is timeless. Except for all the passage of time that the people in it experience because duh.

But if there's anything consistent about Immortus from the non-occurring events of Avengers #10 onward it's that Immortus doesn't fight his own battles.

Immortus: "Still, I am disappointed you think me stupid enough -- to face all you overly muscular specimens alone."

And boom. As the cover promised, a new Legion of the Unliving.

Getting a bit ahead of myself but that's Toro, not the Human Torch. The villainous Black Knight. Ugh, Grim Reaper. The Swordsman. Left-Winger and Right-Winger. Iron Man 2020, who I guess is unliving in the sense that he's not even been born. Unless you count sliding timescale because the timescale slid so hard that Arno is now contemporaneous to Tony. And Oort, the Living Comet.

Despite Oort asking if they remember him, this is his first appearance.

Like Arno, Oort is implied to come from the future. Although a more recent future.

Honestly, that's a fun thing to do with Immortus. It's HARD to do, unless you have established some characters from the future like the Iron Man 2020 series. 2099 characters would be a good choice but we're a couple years from that being possible. Or you can just make up a future character like Oort, the Living Comet, and have him mention a personal history that hasn't happened yet.

My point being: despite how stupid this story is looking, I like Immortus getting creative with his Legion of the Unliving choices.

Most everyone dies at some point and Immortus has every point at his disposal so he could throw any given character into his Legion.

Actually, I'm a little sad that the MCU just has Immortus as One of the Kangs and that maybe the Kang plot will get dropped or deemphasized due to so many reasons. Because an MCU Immortus dropping a Legion of the Unliving on someone. Imagine the characters you could bring back for it.

There are so many dead characters in the MCU. So many.

The only limit is imagination and how much Disneymarvel would be willing to pay to get actors to come back and reprise.

Anyway.

Wasp tells the Avengers not to hold back just because these are dead people that they might know. As far as she's concerned, these aren't the real dudes, they're simulcra that Immortus pulled out of time and if the Avengers get too in their head about fighting dead people they might know, they'll wind up dead instead.

She's actually right.

Because Immortus kept using dead characters that actually turned out to be alive - including Wonder Man once - it's had to be retconned that sometimes Legion of the Unliving members are just Space Phantoms.

So many Space Phantoms in Immortus retcons. So many.

Anyway, this Legion of the Unliving seems to have been chosen for personal connections with the heroes. Mostly.

Wonder Man obviously squares up against Grim Reaper, his supervillain brother that keeps harassing him and trying to put him and Vision in a blender.

Iron Man 2020 fights Iron Man because he's always wanted to prove he's better than the original Iron Man, Tony Stark, his great-uncle. Despite Iron Man's protests that he's definitely not the handsome, brilliant Tony Stark.

Hawkeye fights his old mentor and frenemy Swordsman.

Swordsman claims that he taught Hawkeye everything he knows which is why he's totally going to win this fight. Kind of ignoring the fact that he's been dead for years and Hawkeye didn't just stop learning shit. It's just a dumb boast, is all.

Black Knight faces Dr Pym, his old nemesis. Hank is no longer Giant-Man but he unshrinks Rover, the airship with the brain of an ant who loves Hank, so he can have an aerial duel with his old foe.

Right-Winger and Left-Winger fight US Agent. They're dudes he fought during his time as Captain America. He kinda blew them up in to a coma. Because they were involved in his parents' deaths.

Wasp is fighting Toro (who everyone is mistaking for the robot Human Torch). ... Okay, this is the odd one out. Wasp has no connection with this dude.

You couldn't think of a dead villain that has a personal connection to Wasp? I hate to say it but... I mean. She did tell Hank to crush Vibro to paste three issues ago. Maybe she should fight Vibro.

It would kind of make that fill-in issue where the Avengers West Coast take a break from the Wanda is Evil and Crazy arc more relevant to the arc. Wasp sentenced a dude to die because he wouldn't stop earthquaking Los Angeles. And then he pops up again in the Legion of the Unliving.

Feels like it writes itself but it didn't.

Anyway. The most interesting match-up here is actually Quicksilver vs Oort, the Living Comet.

Because Oort knows Quicksilver. And Quicksilver has no idea who Oort is.

Oort: "We never did find out which of us is faster, did we, mutant?" Quicksilver: "What are you talking about, Oort -- or whatever your name is? I never even heard of you befo-- NO! Those comet bursts --- fired at Wanda -- !" Oort: "You haven't changed a bit since we met in the 50th Century, Quicksilver. Even there, you were overly protective of your sister... though she couldn't care less whether you live or die!"

It sucks nobody ever ran with this.

This story is Oort's only appearance. We may never know what the hell Pietro and apparently Wanda were doing in the 50th Century. Or why they started beefing with this Oort dude.

The Thomases introduced Oort in this story as a future foe of Quicksilver because Quicksilver doesn't have a rogues gallery to draw on and everyone (but Wasp) was getting personalized fights.

So they made a whole new guy up to give Quicksilver a personalized fight and they gave Wasp Toro.

Double standard, boo.

Meanwhile, in the Hawkeye vs Swordsman fight, Swordsman does his usual Swordsman thing. You know, slicing or batting Hawkeye's arrows out of the air.

Really showing off his visual acuity and reflexes, the jerk.

He even mocks Hawkeye's gimmick arrows as relying on a "technological care package from Tony Stark" as if Hawkeye didn't invent anti-gravity by himself and then never use it for anything.

Swordsman: "Whether it's the strength of my arm -- or the sharpness of my blade -- I shall always be the teacher, and you merely the pupil!"

Basically Swordsman talks a good game up until the point Hawkeye tricks him into trying to block a 21k volt electro-arrow with his very conductive metal sword.

Props to the story, for a dude that Hawkeye has personal history with, he comes off like he has personal history with Swordsman.

After he... yeah, he basically kills Swordsman. Twenty-one thousand volts will do that. And this is Avengers Don't Kill Hawkeye, having to re-kill his dead mentor because if Hawkeye lost, Swordsman would move onto killing the next Avenger.

Hawkeye: "You -- shouldn't have made that crack -- about what you were gonna do to the others. I knew you best, so that meant I had to be the one to stop you, at any cost. Do me a f-favor, okay? D-don't let Immortus bring you back to life again. I really don't think... I could take that...!"

It's a low bar to clear but nobody in West Coast Avengers but Wanda has had appropriate emotions for the entire Byrne run. So I'll give credit where due that Hawkeye is emotionally impacted by having to kill a dude he has conflicted feelings about.

I'm realizing that I'm liking a lot of the bits in this story. The overall story is still kinda dumb. But it's cleaning up someone else's mess so maybe this bodes well for the Thomases run on this book.

Anyway. Remember how Immortus left behind an after-image when he teleported everyone to Limbo?

Yeah, Agatha Harkness did that.

She "half-sensed" Immortus' hand behind all the shit that's been happening to Wanda and her growing powers and her hard swing into mutant superiority and also the fake made-up children who definitely didn't exist.

Agatha didn't tell anyone though because fuck you nobody tells anyone their suspicions about anything in this book until it's too late to matter. Remember all the times recently that Hank Pym suddenly claimed he knew something all along?

But since Agatha Harkness kept a low-profile, Immortus didn't think to take countermeasures against her and she was able to cast a spell that left behind an after-image of himself.

Why? Eh. Apparently she can do magic on the after-image to learn what he's up to.

Agatha Harkness: "For, as you know full well, Earth's very timelines are in danger of unraveling, like threads in a fallen skein... but I, for one, am far from certain that you are the one to knit them up again!"

That's fair. He retgonned the timeline where Lincoln kicked John Wilkes Booth's ass. What a jerk thing to do, to get rid of that.

Anyway, Agatha does a magic that will make the image of Immortus share all the hot goss about Immortus' schemes. Magic can do that. Why wouldn't it?

In the grand aerial duel of Dr Pym vs the Black Knight, Black Knight's flying horse outmaneuvers Hank Pym's technology. He uses his laser lance to blast Rover but Hank just unshrinks a hover-pack and jumps out at Black Knight.

Who panics and falls off his horse to his re-death.

Hank saves himself with his hover-pack. He realizes that Black Knight must have remembered the last time he fell to his death, while fighting Iron Man, and that's why he panicked and, ironically, caused history to repeat.

Having put this together, Hank feels lousy about helping history to repeat on Black Knight.

He supposedly repented his evil right before he died the first time and then Immortus drags his ghost out of time, or whatever, and throws him into superhero fighting again. Black Knights just got no luck.

... Huh, did Thor ever get Dane out of that time warp he left him in?

Meanwhile, US Agent gets double-teamed by Right-Winger and Left-Winger.

Then US Agent throws his less-mighty-than-Cap's shield and makes Left-Winger trip so both brothers accidentally stab each other with stalagmites.

US Agent: "Welcome back to the dead zone, boys."

It's his favorite DBZ movie.

But, wow, he sure is proud of himself for deading those two guys.

Elsewhere in this big Limbo, Iron Man vs Iron Man. Future technology vs modern technology. A dude who just bought his armor vs the dude that built it.

And Iron Man 2020 is kicking Tony's ass. There's several decades of advancements in Arno's favor, even if Tony is the better engineer.

Iron Man 2020: "Face facts, unc... You're like some primitive stealth bomber up against a star raker from my day!" Also Iron Man 2020: "Whoever you are in there, you're last century's model!"

And then Tony wins via sucker punch.

I guess decades of improvements don't mean a lot if you can't take a punch.

Shrug.

(Feels like there was a more thematically satisfying conclusion to this fight somewhere but this is a team vs team fight issue and each character can only get so much time.)

Over with Wonder Man vs Grim Reaper for the umpteenth time.

Grim Reaper is in full bigger brother bully mode, reminding Simon of when they were kids and Eric would threaten him with a stolen pocketknife.

Grim Reaper cuts Wonder Man up with his scythe (which he lampshades he wasn't able to do when he was alive) but Wonder Man grabs him by the throat and demands he stands down.

Bigger brother bully refuses and shocks Wonder Man with his scythe, Wonder Man determinedly keeps his grip on Grim Reaper's neck and-

KRAK!

Wonder Man: "My grip -- so strong -- I killed him -- broke his neck! Immortus's control over him was so strong -- he wouldn't quit fighting till he was dead again! You're going to pay for this, Immortus! So help me -- you're going to pay!"

Damn. That's dark.

Which seems to be the theme with the fights where the Avengers win their fights.

Hawkeye had to go against his Avengers Do Not Kill principle and re-kill his mentor. Hank Pym (accidentally) put the fear of death in Black Knight so hard he died of it. And Wonder Man squeezes his brother's neck so hard it breaks -- and doesn't even realize he's doing it.

Oh, and US Agent made two brothers kill each other. But he doesn't seem too broken up over it. I guess he's the combo breaker.

And the afterthought fight: Wasp vs Toro.

Who she confuses as Human Torch until he informs her otherwise.

I sincerely believe this fight happens - and Wasp gets screwed out of a personalized fight - to clear up some continuity.

When Toro reveals he's Toro, Wasp realizes that the previous time the Avengers saw the robot Human Torch in a Legion of the Unliving (under Kang) it couldn't have been Jim Hammond because androids can't die because they're not real people!

Oof.

Toro: "Kang the Conqueror once thought I was the Torch, too -- when he gathered the first Legion of the Unliving! I was a man -- so I could -- and the Mad Thinker murdered me! -- Just like Immortus is going to make me kill you -- RIGHT NOW!"

Glad we cleared that up.

And, yeah, Wasp loses her fight because she's too distracted by the Not-Human Torch thing.

This issue kept cutting back and forth between Agatha interrogating Afterimage Immortus and the Avengers vs Legion fights. I just moved most of the fight stuff together in this recap for clarity.

Because we're about to do some big retcons, Agatha Harkness asks Immortus to RECAP HIS ENTIRE BACKSTORY.

Granted, how long has it been since we learned Immortus' complicated deal?

He was born in the 30th Century in a world of peace and plenty and he hated it because it was so boring. His only solace was watching old video tapes of superheroes punching people.

Especially the Fantastic Four. He loved their exploits best because he had learned that he and Reed Richards both traced their ancestry back to Nathaniel Richards.

Little Kid Future Nathaniel Richards (Ie Immortus) found a shrine Reed's dad Nathaniel Richards left behind with a time machine. Young Immortus rebuilt the time machine to look like a Sphinx and time traveled back to Egypt to take over as White Pharaoh Rama-Tut.

Then the Fantastic Four showed up and kicked his ass and he fled Back to the Future.

He went too far, wound up in post-apocalyptic year 4000 and became Kang the Conqueror.

Later, he became ashamed of all the stupid shit he did as Kang and became Rama-Tut again and took over Egypt again (but benevolently?). Then he became Immortus and moved to Limbo.

Afterimage Immortus: "As Immortus, I was a more contemplative type than my Kang counterparts, who were dedicated only to the conquest of historical eras. Sequestering myself in the ageless dimension known as Limbo, I dedicated myself to the study of that ultimate enigma -- time itself."

Then, the Time Keepers came to Immortus in Limbo and taught him all about time and appointed him the custodian of the time stream for the period which he had lived as Kang -- 3000 BC to 4000 AD.

So Immortus became responsible for monitoring time travel during that period. Which mostly meant monitoring himselves.

And if he fulfills his vow to the Time Keepers' purpose, they'll give him total mastery over those seventy centuries.

Kind of seems a downgrade from when Immortus was Master of Time.

Agatha Harkness asks Immortus what the Time Keepers' purpose is and what the heck it has to do with Wanda or with all those divergent timelines Immortus deleted in Byrne's run.

Afterimage Immortus: "You already know the truth, old woman! The Scarlet Witch is a nexus being -- one who belongs equally to all possible timelines -- all realities and divergences -- so that, through her, all futures can be totally safeguarded -- inexorably controlled -- by Immortus, Master of Time!"

Okay. Does that mean anything for Wanda herself or does that just make her a plot device to win?

Remember when Sentinels kidnapped Wanda because they needed to her power to sterilize Earth? And not her hex power, just the fact that she was A Woman?

This shit keeps happening to Wanda.

I'm surprised she didn't go evil and crazy sooner.

Speeeeaking of whiiiiich.

This is where (Afterimage) Immortus explains how he's been behind everything.

EVERY. THING.

Going back to his first appearance in Avengers #10 which was retconned and didn't happen so I don't know what he's talking about.

But, hypothetically, his evil plan in that story that didn't happen was to break up the Avengers so Scarlet Witch could never join them. Without the Avengers as a support network, Immortus could have manipulated Wanda so much more easily.

And why did Immortus show Vision an origin where he was built from the body of the original robot Human Torch? TWAS A RUSE! He wanted Vision and Wanda to marry and only knowing his origins would make Vision comfortable enough in his life to marry!

(The retconned origin that Vision was made out of extra Human Torch parts is close enough that one wonders why Immortus didn't just show him that? This is stupid. God I hate sweeping retcons like this.)

Why did Immortus want Wanda and Vision to marry? Is he just a big ol' shipper actually?

NO!

WANDA MARRYING VISION WAS ACTUALLY A SLOW BURN PLAN TO MANIPULATE WANDA! IMMORTUS PLANNED IT ALLLL!

Immortus knew that Wanda would want children and that she would specifically use her mutant magic to magic them up instead of adoption or surrogacy! He knew it all along!

And having created fake, not-real children, he knew that one day, she would learn they weren't real!

Afterimage Immortus: "Over time, Agatha Harkness, I slyly seduced the Vision into attempting to dominate the Earth by taking over its computers. After he tried that, it was easy to subliminally influence a multi-national security alliance to take him apart-- in such a way that, although his android body could later be more or less reassembled -- the Vision's particular mind and memory -- and thus his love for the Scarlet Witch -- became part of a dead and unrecapturable past! Soon afterward, even while I was subtly increasing her hex power, I made certain she was one of seven brides-to-be of Set, to further undermine her confidence -- by making her fear she was doomed, always, to be a victim of circumstances beyond her control. Perhaps she was, at that. Witness her quite coincidental capture later by the human servants of the micro-organism known as 'That Which Endures'... Although Master Pandemonium, whose kidnapping of her 'twins' caused her pain and terror, was unknowingly obeying my secret suggestions. And when her 'offspring' finally vanished forever -- you, dear lady, did me the service of explaining to her how they never truly existed! This was the final straw that turned her into a hard-hearted human-hater -- and thus perfect for my purposes. Magneto's blundering along just then was an annoying, but quite temporary, nuisance -- one which scarcely delayed the implementation of my plan!"

God this is so much. I hate it also so much.

Saying someone secretly conspired to organize so many events is a hard sell. And roping in Master Pandemonium seems unlikely since Immortus couldn't see into the netherworld where he took Wanda.

Saying Immortus nudged Vision into his takeover the world plan diminishes the original story.

And the writer drawing the line at Immortus being responsible for the That Which Endures story is just kind of funny. It's brought up solely so Immortus can say "that wasn't me" even though it seems like the racism goo turning Wanda into a mutant supremacist would only serve his plan.

There's so much to like about this issue and then there's the big reveals, which are unfathomably stupid.

Sheesh.

With all this exposition, Agatha Harkness has finally pieced together what Immortus' plan for Scarlet Witch is.

Although, she doesn't share it with the class. No doubt wanting to keep up the tension for next issue.

(Also, Immortus sends the Legion of the Unliving back into the void, sparing Quicksilver and Wasp from being finished off by their opponents.)

Next week, switching back over to Avengers East Coast for more airport paperback political thriller action in the Crossing Line arc. And in two weeks, the Immortus slash Wanda is Evil and Crazy arc wraps so the Thomases can start their own plots.

I will not be sad to see Byrne's lingering plot threads go.

Follow @essential-avengers. I'm too tired for a more extravagant pitch. Like and reblog, maybe?

[istherewifiinhell]

while im here, lets get this out the door. this one... is weird

[ID: An artificial life form that its in the shape of a large golden women's head declares herself. "...I am Auntie!" END]

tfuk arc Raiders of the Last Arc! getit? huh?? issues 18-21 early summer 1985.

Script: Simon Furman Art: Mike Collins and Jeff Anderson Colours: Gina Hart Letters: Richard Starkings (18,20,21) John Aldrich (19) Editor: Sheila Cranna Original Series Edits by Shelia Cranna and Ian Rimmer, Editorial notes and assistance by James Roberts, Collection Edits by Justin Eisinger and Alonzo Simon, Collection Design by Shawn Lee

my eyes may be skimming the preambles at this point but i caught glimpse of something like "weird they never reprinted this one" bud. ill tell u why. its not very good. its not, horrid. its pretty much just. oh yeah. this is a marvel tf comic...

which, if you trying to make the argument that all tfuk are unique and sophisticated and BETTER than the US ones, or just tryna make a dollar on the iconic stories.... you skip this one!!!

but in this house, we support preservation and revisiting of ANY art. including if it flops. and today that means you'll get a few black and white panels. huh? isnt that neat. you excited???

we'll get to it all. But first. Lets check out the funny pages.

[ID: The back part of a panel with crudely drawn Autobots and Decepticons floating about, being restrained. Its charmingly goofy. END]

[ID: Jazz firing off his flamethrower and saying "Let's see if Jazz can make things hot for you Soundwave!" Soundwave, a little singed but unbothered replying "Very impressive,but my armour's more than a match for your weapon…a pity the same cannot be said of yours..!" END]

are you two... flirting?

anyway, ill bite. who's autie...

As her troops fell, the computerised brain of the Ark swung into operation… Auntie, as she had been nicknamed, evaluated internal defences, calculated probabilities and finally arrived at the only logical course of action…

oh...

[ID: Optimus looking towards an Ark security camera thinking "It would be another matter if the ark's defences were active, but Auntie controlled those directly…" He opens the door to a dark room, declaring to himself "Auntie! Of course! Until now, we've merely used the basic computer functions of the ark, but Auntie was far more than that… She was the Ark! If I can get her to even a fraction of her operational capacity… END]

oh. the space ship is a woman. right

[ID: Caption box: And if Windcharger could have seen the tableau unfolding in the nerve centre of the Ark, he might have felt his fears justified. Auntie, who in scale is at least twice the height of Optimus or Megatron, using an unseen force to hold them captive. Optimus pleads reason: You must believe me Auntie, you brought us here from Cybertron and you were damaged in the battle with those murderous Decepticons... Megatron lying: No! That isn't what happened. As I've already told you, we were on a mercy mission. The traitorous Autobots sabotaged it - Forced you to crash. END]

correction. the spaceship is now a crazy women who might kill them all. awesome. lol. THANKS TF <3 what i always wanted >_>... (even if i do like the chance to see my guy's rhetoric strategies)

anyway pause all that we have a buddy cop adventure (no 20)

[ID: Splash page that includes the arc title and creative credits. Windcharger and Ravage walking the halls of the arc, arguing. Caption boxes: Alone, Ravage And Windcharger Are unaffected by Auntie's magnetic force… They eye each other suspiciously, each suspecting treachery, each distrusting the other they are sworn enemies these two… But today they are Allies! Ravage: This goes against my every instinct! I dislike working with others at the best of times... But to have to fight alongside a puny Autobot..! Windcharger: Silence, you aggravating creature! I'm as unhappy with the situation as you… but for now it's unavoidable. Just keep those sensors of yours alert for… END]

they really like ravage in these comics lmao.

[ID: Ravage gloating, with destroyed machinery flaming and smoking in his mouth, one paw raised to hold it. He looks over his shoulder to Windcharger saying "There, impressed?" Windcharger looks aggravated. END]

SMUG BEAST. are YOU flirting.

[ID: B&W panel. Both reacting to something unseen, Ravage in a ready stance, possible aggressive or alarmed. Windcharger, slightly behind him looking scared/startled. END]

he said NO PICKLES!

okay back to the hostage situation

ID: B&W panels. Optimus and Megatron still surround by a field of energy restraining them. Optimus his eyes glowing, says "You fool, Megatron! Do you think for a moment that she'll let one of us just walk away? She's playing with us. Unless we break free she'll slaughter us all!" Megatron has a brow raised: Oh… I see. Yes, you could be right. Well, in that case… I may be able to set us free! END]

ACTUALLY. hysterical. sorry i see any extremely funny megs moments and im like. how beast wars of him. i like other meg's too but. fgsdj. well...

btw he has a connection to a black hole? always has?? its from the toy box or smth idk

[ID: In colour again. Caption boxes: Optimus Prime and Megatron await the judgement of Auntie. But, while she considers her verdict, Megatron concentrates... A strange, unearthly energy flows around him, threatening to engulf him... But he is Megatron, and he will make the power serve him! In full body, Megatron is tensed in effort, teeth grit. A dark and sparkling energy wreaths around him.

ENTER: his dark magical girl era....

[ID: Caption box: Megatron lands well, Optimus Prime does not! Smaller drawings, Megatron lands daintily on the point of one foot, his arms raised above his head, somewhat like a dancer. Optimus plummets like a heap, landing on his side, thigh and forearm slamming into the ground. END]

LOOK AT THIS SHIT. lol

[ID: Tiny drawing. Megatron hands still raised, gracefully. One hand wreathed in glowing energy, being directed near Prime, still on the ground. END]

hes a beauty, hes a grace, he wants... to melt your face.

oh yeah anyway ravage gets auntie

[ID: Caption box: But Ravage is faster... Ravage leaping passed or perhaps INTO Auntie's open mouth as she screams "Nooooo" Ravage tearing into whatever golden mechanical workings make up her physical being. Caption box: And Auntie 'dies' for a second time. END]

cool. i love what we did here today. really valuable addition to the lore. and a win for feminism

and then windcharger launched megatron out of the arc thru the volcano and into space. no yeah. he can do that i guess.

its dumb, tho also funny. it hates women. its comics. GOODBYE.

[ID: Tiny drawing of Ravage pouncing. END]

[pfhwrittes]

Based on a conversation at work today ft. Tradie141

Price *whistling* " Naur none of that now, I will not be whistling today"

Reader "why?"

Price "Between Ghost and Gaz with their whistling and Soap's music (you cannot tell me he wouldn't listen to bagpipes on the job site) there is too much sound going on and it's hurting my head."

Reader ".... Would you like me to sing Opera?"

Price "No! Don't ya dare."

Reader "aw come on now I don't squeak that much."

Price "None of that now, thank you."

(sidenote I do squeak when singing, not sure if it's cuz I was never trained or because of singing in a lower register or trauma. But at points I will imitate with startling accuracy a dog squeaky toy.)

stigy! hiya friend 💜

lmaoooo i've recently found i can't sing in a register that i was very comfortable in as my voice has dropped a bit on t! so i'm with you on the "squeaky toy" impression!

ooh you've inspired some brainworms about what the trade force 141 lot would listen to on site...

kyle listens to his own playlist. it's a mix of tiktok trending music, the "good bits" of whatever has played on captial fm or bbc radio 1 recently, some 90s/early 00s r&b, stormzy and surprisingly a little bit of tina turner. you've caught him doing full body rolls to genuwine's pony before.

simon listens to podcasts. it's not unusual for you to walk in on simon giggling (yes, giggling!) at "dead ringers" or "sorry i haven't a clue". music wise he's pretty happy to listen to whatever someone else puts on as long as it isn't completely deafening, he still needs to be able to think.

johnny listens to edm at high volume all the time. techno, hardstyle, uk drum and bass? all good. all loud. give that man a diiiiiiirty bass line (and everyone else some earplugs). you can tell which zone he's working in for the day because the floor will tremble a little bit.

price listens to smooth radio. no, he won't be changing it to something "less crap". if you've got an issue you can fuck off. love shack by the b-52s is a classic.