#you cannot even recognise them
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radley-writes · 2 months ago
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I don't understand people who say things like 'but it doesn't matter if we don't pay artists/writers for their labour, or use free AI programs to replace artists/writers to improve our profits, because in a perfect world everyone would have UBI so it wouldn't matter xxx'
like. yes. but until we reach that perfect world, artists and writers need to eat?
why are you promoting AI replacement of creative people instead of working towards UBI? Until we have UBI, supporting generative AI in the creative field is no different to supporting supermarkets laying off all their till staff to turn to self-check out, or supporting factories who shut down and move overseas to exploit workers in countries with fewer human rights legislations?
Yes, in a perfect world, everyone would receive UBI. Therefore, people across the globe couldn't be exploited by corporations, and artists could create for the joy of it, in whatever way we desire - including with AI!
But we do not live in that perfect world.
Do you seriously expect this move towards generative AI to encourage people to support UBI, as opposed to people being forced into jobs they hate to make ends meet or no longer being able to support themselves financially?
Especially all the disabled people who make a living creating art and writing/editing, because that is, in fact, a career that is often far more available to disabled folks than a regular 9-5 or a retail job where you're expected to be on your feet all day (miss my disabled ass with the 'anti-AI = ableism' stance lmao).
This is not going to create your army of revolutionaries. This is just going to result in more independent creators being crushed under the boot heel of capitalism, as anyone who would've hired them flocks instead to the free alternative, and they're forced back into an incredibly exploitative labour market.
I agree that generative AI by itself is just a tool and is not inherently a problem.
But it is being abused, in ways that hurt creators.
If you support generative AI... what are you doing about that?
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anchorandrope · 1 month ago
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#regarding the liam and maya situation: i have a lot to say that i cannot express in tags and some of yall are still in a huge denial phase#but as i said the day we first knew about maya's book - im believing her. i believe she is a victim. im believing the victim.#i do trust women who make allegations without explicitly showing proof on social media because thats what i stand for. i rather believe a#liar than believing and abuser. with her; with you; and with every women (and everyone) out there even if i don't like her.#if you have a problem with this value i have: i recommend to unfollow me. because i believe her and that won't change.#and the tiktok she posted acknowledging 1d's fanbase behaviour is not only well-worded; but her non verbal language does match what she is#saying. i hope liam can get out of his addiction and i hope he can recognise his actions to be able to change for good; yes. but that doesn#change what he already did. i have plenty of reasons to believe maya - and seeing so many fellow fans saying shit in her comments like#“you're a liar until you post proof” “if you're saying the truth then sue him” “this is pr for the book” etc etc. insane and concerning.#yall talk like cishet men defending their friends btw. the exact same “arguments”...... is sad to see other women saying this. it breaks my#heart. and as someone who is studying PR genuinely fuck yall ???? yall don't even know what tf we do yall just blame us for every shit in#the industry when in reality its not our fault all the amount of crap yall say it is our fault. if i ask yall to even define what we do#im sure 99.99% won't even know the difference between PR/Marketing/Publicity. get my name and my fellow PR people out of your shit ??? wtf?#its diabolical to blame this on PR. seriously whatin the actual fuck. it doesn't even make sense????? fuck offffffff#i hope maya henry may find peace; i hope she can recover and overcome as well as possible. im disgusted by the behaviour almost everyone is#having. im not praying for a downfall or hoping bad things on liam but i definitely won't defend any of this. and tbh yall shouldn't either#on the other side: i hope she better not talk in any kind of way about louis/harry situation#but because that would mess stuff up in multiple ways. they don't need to be dragged in this. at all.#we don't need “official” denials nor confirmations of people that are not them in any type of way.#anyway... how's the weather i guess#maya henry
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ventbloglite · 2 months ago
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I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.
Not misgendering, malgendering.
We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.
e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.
Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).
e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.
This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man." This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."* *obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.
But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.
Most people recognise malgendering when it's;
Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.
But you need to look out for how;
Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.
Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.
Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.
Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'
All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.
Malgendering is transphobia.
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stil-lindigo · 16 days ago
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"Kamala Harris has earned an eleventh-hour show of support from Palestinian, Arab and Muslim community leaders."
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On October 24th, a collective statement titled "Arizona Palestinian, Arab, Muslim, and Progressive Democrats and Community Leaders Statement on Presidential Election" was published.
The 100+ signees include current or former leaders of Palestinian, Arab and Muslim organisations, the leader of Phoenix, AZ's largest mosque, Jewish activists and other elected officials. All of them have been listed at the bottom of this post.
You can read the whole statement here but I've also copy-pasted it's entire contents below.
Read. The Whole. Thing.
It is concise and will only take you a few minutes. While you read, recognise that these words are not representative of every single person belonging to these demographics. Palestinians, Arabs and Muslims are not a monolith, and have a right to feel any way they do about this election. To those who do not belong to these groups - refrain from adding your personal commentary in the tags, and understand how excruciating of a place this statement must have come from for both the authors, signees and the communities they represent.
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Arizona Palestinian, Arab, Muslim, and Progressive Democrats and Community Leaders Statement on Presidential Election
As Democrats and leaders in the Palestinian, Arab, Muslim and Progressive communities in Arizona, we the undersigned make the following statement, published on 10/24/2024:
This past year has been very difficult for all of us. With over 42,000 Palestinians killed by Israel using American-supplied weapons and no end in sight despite all our struggle for a ceasefire, we approach the presidential election heartbroken and outraged.
We know that many in our communities are resistant to vote for Kamala Harris because of the Biden administration’s complicity in the genocide. We understand this sentiment. Many of us have felt that way ourselves, even until very recently. Some of us have lost many family members in Gaza and Lebanon. We respect those who feel they simply can’t vote for a member of the administration that sent the bombs that may have killed their loved ones.
As we consider the full situation carefully, however, we conclude that voting for Kamala Harris is the best option for the Palestinian cause and all of our communities. We know that some will strongly disagree. We only ask that you consider our case with an open mind and heart, respecting that we are doing what we believe is right in an awful situation where only flawed choices are available.
In our view, it is crystal clear that allowing the fascist Donald Trump to become President again would be the worst possible outcome for the Palestinian people. A Trump win would be an extreme danger to Muslims in our country, all immigrants, and the American pro-Palestine movement. It would be an existential threat to our democracy and our whole planet.
When we think of Trump in power again, we recall that even a genocide can get much worse. Trump just said that Netanhahu must “go further” in Gaza while criticizing Biden for “trying to hold him back.” His biggest donor, Miriam Adelson, who demanded in 2016 that Trump move the US embassy to Jerusalem if elected –– which he then did –– is now telling Trump to allow Israel to annex the entire West Bank. Netanyahu, Ben Gvir, Smotrich, and the entire far right in Israel want Trump to win and grant Israel total free reign. We cannot give them what they want.
Trump must be defeated. The only way to defeat him is to elect Kamala Harris.
Voting for Harris is not a personal endorsement of her or of the policy decisions of the administration in which she served. It’s an assessment of the best possible option to continue fighting for an end to the genocide, a free Palestine, and all else that we hold dear.
We are deeply frustrated that Harris has not yet met our movement’s demand that she break with Biden, defy the powerful extremists enforcing the status quo, stand with the majority of Americans, and pledge to uphold US law and international law and condition aid to Israel. Still we believe there are clear reasons to hope that we can win positive policy change with a Harris administration and a Democratic Congress.
Multiple media reports state that Harris’s national security advisors are open to re-evaluating policy and conditioning aid to Israel. On October 13th, the same day the administration threatened to re-evaluate military support if Israel did not improve humanitarian conditions in Gaza and reduce civilian casualties in the next 30 days, Harris tweeted: “Israel must urgently do more to facilitate the flow of aid to those in need. Civilians must be protected and have access to food, water, and medicine. International humanitarian law must be respected.” In Michigan the other day, Harris expressed clear empathy for the suffering of the people of Palestine and Lebanon and the impact of this devastation on Arab Americans. She pledged to do “everything in her power” as President to end the war in Gaza, end the suffering of Palestinians there, and achieve “a future of security and dignity for all people in the region.”
Beyond Harris’s statements, we know that her decisions as President will be shaped by the larger Democratic Party coalition that includes a growing force pushing for Palestinian human rights. Our Arizona Democratic Party passed a resolution calling for a ceasefire in January. Every single member of Congress who has publicly called for a ceasefire in Gaza or for an arms embargo is a Democrat. The major national unions, civil rights groups, and progressive organizations that have called for a halt to military aid to Israel are all working to elect Harris.
On the other hand, the Republican Party coalition offers zero opposition to unconditional support for Israel and zero support for Palestinian human rights. Instead Republicans urge the US to join Israel in bombing Iran, call to “bounce the rubble in Gaza” and “kill ‘em all,” and would likely support the Israeli far right’s drive to annex Gaza and the West Bank.
What about a third party? Many in our communities believe this is our best option. Unfortunately, there is not a single third party member of Congress or even state legislator in America. In our electoral system, no third party candidate can win this election. But voting for them could make Trump president.
The polls show the presidential election is extremely close and that it will be decided by 7 swing states, including Arizona. While voting 3rd party may be strategic in non-swing states as a protest of the current US Israel/Palestine policy or as a step to qualifying the Green Party for public funding in future elections by winning at least 5% of the national vote, doing it in Arizona or other swing states in such a close election could bring disaster.
Some argue that if Palestinian, Arab, and Muslim voters and our allies vote for a 3rd party candidate and intentionally throw the election to Trump, taking credit for defeating Harris, it will prove our power to decide a close election and “punish Democrats” for complicity in genocide. Unfortunately, this is not how power, politics, or change works in our country. When Ralph Nader helped throw the election to Bush in 2000, he was rejected by millions for whom he was once a hero, banished ever since to the political margins. When Jill Stein helped throw the election to Trump in 2016, she remained relegated to the political fringe, becoming less powerful not more. If our communities ally with the Green Party to defeat Harris, we risk marginalizing ourselves as they did by alienating the tens of millions of voters who support the cause of Palestinian freedom and are fighting to defeat Trump by electing her.
Instead, by helping to elect Kamala Harris, we can say, “Despite it all, we gave you another chance and helped put you in office to defend democracy and uphold our highest American values. Now uphold them: end the genocide and secure Palestinian self-determination. We will fight every day to hold you to it.” If Harris and Democrats win, we will wage that fight with more allies among the American people, Congress, and the White House than ever before. If they don’t deliver, we will have a mandate and mass support to hold them accountable through every nonviolent tool of democracy, including protests, resignations, civil disobedience, primary election challenges, and even potential mass noncooperation. It’s a difficult path, but the one that offers the most hope.
The first step –– and our best choice in this horrible situation –– is defeating Trump by electing Harris. We urge you to join us.
Signers (affiliations listed for identification purposes only):
Maher Arekat, Founder, Palestine Community Center of Arizona
Usama Shami, President, Islamic Community Center of Phoenix
Fadi Zanayed, Vice President, American Federation of Ramallah, Palestine - Arizona
Shams AbdusSamad, Secretary, Maricopa County Dem Party; ADP Exec Cmte Mmbr - At Large & SCM
Samir Mufarreh, Palestinian American Christian Community Leader
Jordan Harb, Lebanese American Youth Leader
Stephen Mufarreh, Attorney, Palestinian American Christian Community Leader
Misaal Irfan, Pakistani American Community Leader
Samara Hamideh, Palestinian Youth Organizer
Mohamed El-Sharkawy, Palestinian American and a Muslim leader
Ala Rumah, Syrian American Activist
Dina Hamideh, Coordinator, Arizona Palestine Film Festival
Salauddin Choudhury, Bangladeshi Community Leader; DNC Delegate CD 5; LD 14 SCM
Hani Hani, President, American Federation of Ramallah, Palestine - Arizona
Dr. Navid Khan, Pakistani American Community Leader
Deena Mufarreh, Chair, American Federation of Ramallah, Palestine - Arizona
Syed Nasir Raza, Progressive Pakistani-American Community Leader; AZ Progressives
Ashraf Elgamal, President, Arab American Organization
Salina Imam, Charity Program Leader
Sawsan Tannous, Chair, American Federation of Ramallah, Palestine - Arizona
Saher Afzal, Pakistani American, Arizona Education Association member, and Exec board AEA local
Nathan Mufara, Chair, American Federation of Ramallah, Palestine - Arizona
Dr. Jaffrey Khazi, Community Leader
Hashim Hamid , Palestinian American Community Elder and Retired Businessman
​​Ameena Arekat, Palestinian American Health Care Worker
Mo Al Hwan Bahu, Palestinian American Christian
Deanna Dabbah, Former President, Arab American Anti-Discrimination Cmte, Fountain Hills, AZ
Dr. Hazem Jabr, Palestinian American Dentist
Jack Saba, Syrian American Entertainer & Democratic Voter
Ramzi Arikat, Palestinian American Business Owner in Phoenix
Shaikh F Shams, LD13 PC & State Cmte Member, Bangladeshi American Community Leader
Hussein Jabr, Palestinian American Doctor
Md Ibrahim Faisal, Bangladeshi American Progressive Democrats
Dean Dabbah, Community Activist, Fountain Hills, AZ
Mazen Arekat, Palestinian American Business Owner
Sujat Jamil, Bangladeshi American Progressive Democrats
Rocky Francis, Iraqi American Businessman
Hazem Arekat, Palestinian American Businessman
Arif Mahmud, Volunteer
Qumrul Ahsan, Precinct committee member LD13
Shahriar Anwar, LD13
Menassa Abinader, Lebanese American; Owner, Mejana Restaurant
Charlotte Hosseini, Sedona Resident ; Concerned citizen and voter
Tan Jakwani, Muslim Community Leader
William Havel, Iraqi Refugee
Jennifer Loewenstein, Jewish Voice for Peace - Tucson ; Arizona Palestine Network (AZ PAL)
Jessica Burke, Jewish Community Member & Progressive Activist
Bob Lord, Former Arizona Congressional Candidate, Jewish Community Member
Rachel Port, Jewish Voice for Peace -  Tucson
Laurie Melrood, Jewish Voice for Peace - Tucson; LD 20
Rep. Mariana Sandoval, LD 23
Rep. QuantĂĄ Crews, LD 26 ; State and Precinct Committee Person
MartĂ­n J. Quezada, Former State Senator
School Board Member Patti Serrano, PC and State Committee Member LD 13, 2020 Delegate
Kai Newkirk, Co-Chair, Arizona Democratic Party Progressive Council
Erika Andiola, Immigrant Rights Leader & Bernie 2016 Latino Outreach Press Secretary
Mikkel Jordahl, Attorney
Belén Sisa, Former Latino Press Secretary for Bernie 2020 and DACA Recipient
Salil Deshpande, LD18 State Committee Member; DNC Standing Committee Member
Dan O’Neal, Progressive Democrats of America - Arizona State Coordinator
Armonee D. Jackson, President, Young Democrats of Arizona
Eva Putzova, Former City of Flagstaff Councilmember
Emily Kirkland, PC LD 8; Former Executive Director, Progress Arizona
Melissa Galarza, Chair, LD12 Democrats
Cameron Bautista, Youth Organizer & School Board Coordinator, KeepAZBlue Student Coalition
Nick Collins, LD 12 State Cmte Member, Progressive Council Interim Steering Committee
Ken Kenegos, LD 18 PC, member Progressive Democrats of America
Michael Bradley, Arizona Palestine Network, LD 4 PC
David Higgins, Co-Founder, Arizona Palestine Network (AZ PAL)
Natacha Chavez, Precinct committee person LD 22
Sarah LeĂłn, Community organizer
Elizabeth Hourican, CODEPINK Phoenix
Emily Verdugo, Community Leader
Kyle Nitschke, LD 6 State Committee Member
Barbara J. Taft, Leadership Team, WILPF US Middle East Peace and Justice Action Committee
Nicole Gutiérrez Miller, State and Precinct Committee Person, LD 12
Dianne Post, International Human Rights Attorney
Lindsay Love, Owner & therapist at TherapyLuv, PLLC ; former CUSD school board member
Joan Etude Arrow, Founder, Arizona Progressive Action Community (AZPAC)
Elizabeth Ogren, LD5 PC and State Committee Member
Jenise Porter, PC and State Committeeperson AZ LD18
Dave Wells, United Campus Workers of AZ, PC LD9
Andreas Clayton La Grow, Community Organizer
Robert Flamida, Palestine Community Center of Arizona, Member
Dr. Marannagan, Autistics for Peace
Bonnie L Lynn, State Committee Member
Frederic Artus, LD 5
Isabel O’Neal, State Committee, PC LD 14, CD 5 Immigration Advocate
Deborah Arekat, Democratic Voter
Asfandyar Khalid, Na
Kathy F. Yontz, PC LD12
Pardis Baradar, LD 12 PC
Grace Wagner Democrat LD8
Laiken Jordahl, Community organizer/advocate
Kathryn Soderquist, Constituent, AZ LD 9
Jana Rose Ochs, Progressive Democrats of America, Progressive Activist
Victoria Eloisa Ramos, Community Leader
Aaron J Essif, LD17 PC & SCM, PDA, Indivisibles
Judith Hilton Coburn, Member, CodePink Phoenix, PDA, Phoenix Anti War Coalition
Dev Gautam Dogra, Progressive social democratic student from The University of Arizona
Peggy Thomas, Progressive Democrats of America activist
Anne Khoury, Concerned citizen and voter 
Emily Williams, Democrat LD 12
Molly Donnelly, PC LD 12
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fuck-off-im-ace · 2 years ago
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I always find it so weird when people are making fun of people who fell in love with an AI, or are just generally weirded out by it. Isn’t it a similar experience to falling in love with your therapist, social worker or any other help-related professionnal? From what i’ve seen, most people will love someone that is caring, supportive, that listens to you. Both chat AIs and those professionnals are built with these characteristics in mind. They are trained to be exactly that. Of course people might fall in love, thats to be expected, isnt it?
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homunculus-argument · 1 year ago
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This is one of those ideas that someone's probably already done, but I came up with another concept for a game:
A game where most of the cutscenes are flashbacks of memories the protagonist has, and the "skip cutscene" button says "repress this memory". You can play through the whole game while skipping all of the cutscenes, you don't need to watch any of them to complete the main storyline and get the main intended ending.
But watching through them doesn't just give you a more thorough - and occasionally, even completely different - understanding of the whole game, and information that makes you see certain characters in a different light, but it unocks new options in the game. You watch through the cutscene flashback of the protagonist's mother doing something fucked up, and suddenly all your conversations with her now have the dialogue option to go "hey mom remember when [the fucked up thing] happened?"
This particular conversation branch doesn't seem to lead anywhere, she'll flat-out deny that the thing ever happened, and she calls you crazy for having ever imagined that, but later on you can stumble upon something else that you clearly saw in the flashback, that you couldn't have found out any other way. It's one thing to wonder why you would remember something that never happened, but how would you have known that this passageway was here, and opens exactly the same way you remembered it?
There are passages in the game that aren't required for the completion of the main storyline, that aren't blocked off by anything visible and obvious, but have text like "you cannot go through this way, this hallway is too noisy", and it takes a completely unrelated flashback for you to recognise what that specific sound reminds you of, which opens up a whole sidequest of you figuring out why you can't stand hearing that noise. Once you've made the connections and finally remember, you can go through the hallway. There's nothing on the other side that you need for the main quest, but things that may help unlock some other mysteries.
The main game is simple and straightforward, you can just play through that one and be done with it. But that's not the whole picture, the full story. There are answers peppered thorough the whole game, answers to questions you might not even think of to ask. Explanations of why the protagonist is the way they are, and things that make you see characters you interact with - and your interactions with them - in a completely different light. Most of the relevations are grim. The only question to ask yourself is
Do you want to remember?
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nottsangel · 8 months ago
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how do you think rafes baddie girlfriend would react to him trying to be possessive and controlling of her at a party?
god, she would have none of it. she’s her own person who knows exactly what she wants and will never let a man, including rafe, tell her what she can and cannot do. it frustrates and irritates him. he wants you to be all his, even though you already are— but it never seems to be enough for him.
you can feel rafe’s burning eyes following you with every move you make at the party, your hips swaying to the beat as you have your arms wrapped around your friend while dancing with her. he taps his rings restlessly against the glass beer bottle while glancing around the room with narrowed eyes, taking in all the guys who are staring at you with lust.
he tries not to lose his cool, knowing you fucking hate it when he's controlling, but when he notices some drunk guys talking to each other while pointing at his girl, he has had enough. rafe could easily guess what they were talking about, almost recognising his old, single self and his friends in that group, treating girls like objects to be used solely for their pleasure— the thought of them doing the same to you causes anger to rage through his entire body.
you’re in your own world, nothing on your mind except the music pounding in your ears, when all of a sudden you feel a strong hand wrapped around your arm, causing you to flinch before seeing your boyfriend’s towering frame standing over you, his intense blue eyes gazing down at you.
“cut that shit out, yeah? everyone in this goddamn room is practically eye fucking you, for fucks sake. you gotta behave, makin’ me look like a fucking idiot here.” “behave? rafe, helloo?! i’m literally just dancing? you’re so fucking dramatic, holy fucking shit. now either join me or leave— but i think i already know the answer to that, mr. stiff hips.” you snap, looking him up and down with a disapproving expression on your face, not in the slightest bit amused by his controlling behaviour.
he scoffs, tongue poking the inside of his cheek in annoyance, “if that’s how you wanna play this, then a’ight”, eyes momentarily leaving yours as he rubs his face with his mind racing, before returning his gaze to you. “but by the end of the night, you’re gonna fucking regret it.” “yeah yeah, whatever tough boy, we’ll see about that.”
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sharoo · 3 days ago
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Self-knowledge as a theme in STP messes me up so bad, bros.
This all starts with how little the Princess can tell you if you ask her about herself. How little you can say about yourself, more often than not. Most of the time Quiet doesn't even know what they look like!
The Narrator makes it a point to make the Princess' cluelessness, her lack of self-knowledge, into deception, but really, both the protagonists don't know themselves. How could they?
The concepts of bounds, of something that isn't you, the distinction of "self" and "other", "you" and "I", the concept of something being not like yourself... this is the first time this deity which is now two has ever experienced it.
The Shifting Mound and the Long Quiet did not exist until the Narrator tore a whole into parts.
Now, this deity in twain has to reorient. It has only begun existing, it's not yet known itself. A toddler has to develop a self-concept, and the concepts of others.
Now imagine, for the first time in your solitary existence, that there is something that you are not. Unknowable, foreign.
What are they like, you think? Are they a friend? Should I get to know them? Are they a foe? I do not know them, I cannot trust them... Or can I?
This brings to mind, of all things, Contrapoints' video on Twilight, where she speaks about the concepts of Union and Division in relation to love. And while she speaks of it in terms of eros, it can apply here just as easily, romantically and platonically.
Love is the union of two beings. We love because something outside of us allows us to be more than ourself. In others, many seek that which they lack. We seek out people so that we may develop through our similarities and contrasts with them, to change an be changed.
We seek out people because there can be no I without a You. To exist in a void is not a fulfilling experience.
We cannot discover ourself if he have nothing that allows us to compare ourself. The mirrors elude us throughout the game, always leading to the princess - she is the only way we may know ourselves, the mirrors tease as they disappear. And at the end of the route, only then, can you see yourself, now that you have a complete knowledge of yourself in a given scenario, with a given persona.
Was the princess someone you decided to trust? Or to betray? Was she a foe? A friend? A nightmare? A victim?
You both try to find out who you are through your relationship.
The princess assumes many faces and attitudes in response to you, you assume voices and attitudes in response to her. You're two batches of clay shaping each other at the same time. It's almost like knowing someone your entire life, seeing them go through different phases as they try to find out their identity in the world, their place. The 5 routes, whatever they be, are your "adolescence".
And growing means you will hurt each other, intentionally or not. There will be fights, disagreements, there will be heartache, and comfort and love.
And everything will pass.
Shifty, before she's complete, before she discovers her godhood, makes this point so clear.
How could she not be kind to you? You are the only thing in this place that is not her. What reason could she have to hate you? To make the only friend she could have into an enemy?
That's why, at the end of every route, all hurts are forgiven. All the heartache is acknowledged, understood, and then she moves on. So that you may continue being together, so that she may see what else you do.
Even godhood can become a phase. The Shifting Mound recognises what you both were, but it need not be you unless you accept it. Because self-knowledge is unending. You are always changing, and you can always change.
You can accept being a god, and that becomes you.
You can reject being a god, and that becomes you.
You are by that point an "adult". The figure trying to dictate who both of you are is gone, and you can decide for yourself.
I think this is partially why I love the Leave with Stranger ending the best of all the endings. You begin it by avoiding knowledge of yourself and of another. The self can only exist as far as it is not like the others.
And you meet the Stranger, this being who knows so little about herself, because she too has been deprived of another. The route is quick. It really cannot amount to much, because if you don't know yourself, it's so hard to build a relationship.
But at the end, they've matured. You gave each other time to become fuller beings. You met this person again and they seem so much happier with themself than they were in youth.
I love how they say "We're just a stranger.", and the voices point out how it needn't be sad that you don't know her, unless you make it out to be. You can get to know them, the real them, and they can do that with you.
The way the Stranger speaks if the position of a God only underlines how much the heart of the Shifting Mound can understand self-knowledge.
They speak of how they feel themself be pulled towards taking the position of godhood, of being everything, yet find it confining. Restricting.
"We want more. We want whatever might be on the other side of this door. Something new, that we'll experience together. With someone who exists outside of us. Someone who can see us in a way we can never see ourself."
Self-knowledge through relationships and reflection on how you impact other people.
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persicipen · 1 month ago
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to measure love ノ dr. ratio
ৎ୭ — · · 0.8k ノ gn reader — back scratching . dumbification . overstimulation ノ just indulging in some spice with subtly dom mr. ratio ノ well
 uhm
 i would not write it if not for a friend on here throwing at me the *concept* ahaha

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The first time you scratched his back during sex, Veritas grumbled with annoyance and took your wrists into his hand for the remainder of your close encounter. It was all an accident, of course! It’s not like you would do that on purpose — knowing too well he would not be pleased.
There wasn’t much you could do against the pleasure you had not expected to receive, rendering you helpless and a little stupid, to say it the easiest way. Being fucked so good was simply too overwhelming for you to control your body.
What you didn’t know yet is that Veritas was not yet familiar with this sensation, either. A bit wary. Questioning the reason (or lack thereof) behind it. The second time it happened, the curiosity took over, and he let you continue.
Whatever you two learnt back then caused you two to indulge from time to time to be just a tad rougher. Or, should you specify, him being rougher with you. It’s nothing going outside the set boundaries, none of that sort. His thrusts just staying within you for a moment longer, pressing there harder. Focusing way too much on foreplay, where you’re almost spent before he’s out of his pants, and excusing himself with the need to research your reactions until he has them memorised.
Turns out he finds it interesting to see your body contradict whatever your lips are saying.
You whimper between shallow breaths that it’s too much and that you cannot take it anymore, yet he notes how you do not stop your hips from meeting him halfway.
Veritas thinks of you quite highly, actually, given your everyday approach to problems. Otherwise you two would not end up in the same bed — too many times to count, although you believe he is keeping track of that number, too. You’re not one to lose your composure easily. So it’s endearing to him how you can’t even get a hold of your own limbs when he’s long inches deep inside of you, as if his weight on top of you and his cock snugly fitting between your legs were a switch to your behaviour.
All that attractive intelligence turned into a frown between your eyebrows when you try so hard not to come before you get to reciprocate at least a portion of the satisfaction he’s already granted you.
He presses into you with just the right amount of force and precision, pushing out sounds from your throat. Those little squeals excite him immensely, mellowing down the usual sharp edge of his demeanour. Enough for him to kiss the sweat off your temple and bury his face in the crook of your neck, hips never stopping the motion.
With blistering hot breath on your clavicle, he chants the biological academic nonsense that you would listen to otherwise if you weren't past the point of recognising nothing but the deep hue of his voice. Veritas chuckles when you don't respond — when all you do is keep raking your fingers up and down his back, sorry that you cannot uphold the conversation. His intellectual companionship is always appreciated, even if at this particular moment in time you're unable to make anything out of it.
Amongst the debauched blabbering whispered into kisses and intermittent praises how much you enjoy being with him, you’re clawing at his shoulder blades.
To keep him close, the entire mass of sinew and soft flesh pressing you to the bed, but also because you’re a mush, again, and this is the only way to let your emotions out of your spasming body.
There is a fine line between enjoying the feeling of his spine being scratched in a frenzy and disliking it too much to experience pleasure. The line is sometimes blurry, many factors at play, but that’s never an issue for him. This man revels in challenges.
It stings when you pick on his skin with your nails. Veritas is aware of that. Except that he thinks of that as a testimony to what he can do to you. With you.
Assigning him a visible ornament of the knowledge is easy, although symbolic — this is precisely why he wears the golden laurel band with exactly eight of its leaves, each for his doctorates. To measure how good he is with love, the physical one at least, with how strong you grab onto him, gives him a boost of pride.
You’re his pride, the state you’re currently in, at the brink of release and dew gathering under your lashes. Because he loves giving you what’s best. He loves you.
Some time later, after you two are done and resting, you catch him looking at his scratched back in the mirror. He’s eyeing the reddened lines with a pensive face. Perhaps thinking if he would like to have some more adorning his skin or if it’s enough.
You do not wish to know that. Not right now.
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₊ ˙ âŠč . AUTHOR’S NOTE — little win that i managed to write it all for gender netural readers despite making it very very self-indulgent, yippee! now, please excuse me, i need to scream into the void because it was NOT on my bingo card today <3
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teamatsumu · 9 months ago
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screenshot. (kita shinsuke x reader)
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summary: your friend confesses on your behalf. for my valentine’s day event - theme: confessions.
word count: 1161
tags: @keiva1000 @kindnessspreads @msbyomimi @sleepyxxhead d @priv-rose @nishayuro @kitas-tapioca @kakashineedstotouchgrass @amisuh @avis-writeshq @samanthaa-leanne @akaashi-todorki @sp1ng @kur0obaby @bleach-your-panties @pinkiipeachiikeen @whippedbel
event masterlist
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Many of Kita’s friends and volleyball teammates think he is a stickler for routine. And they are right. But Kita isn’t rigid. He isn’t unchangeable. He accepts a break in routine, takes it in stride, learns from the turning tides and comes back with a smile on his face. Why else would he be the captain of the volleyball team if he didn’t know how to assimilate with rapidly developing circumstances?
Today, he is confronted with another such change. He is staring it right in the face. For a few moments, Kita cannot fathom the sight. How can it be? A red envelope in his locker? Surely, it must not be meant for him.
His next thought is how it got there in the first place. No one besides the volleyball team is allowed in the club room. He is the one who always opens it and he is also the one who locks up every night. Did someone sneak in during practice time?
Nothing else in his locker seems out of place. Just the letter placed delicately on top of the rest of his belongings. Kita finally reaches out for it, tugging on the flap to detach it and pulling out the crisp white paper inside. Kita is halted in his tracks when he realizes that there is no writing on the paper. It’s a print-out. Of a screenshot.
He eyes the text message chain, recognising the small icons on both the sender and receiver’s text bubbles. It’s Suna, his underclassman, and he also recognises you, the manager and his long time best friend.
‘I can’t stand it anymore suna!’
‘then just tell him’
‘u know i cant’
‘thats a u problem’
The next message is long, bordering on a whole paragraph, and Kita’s eyes skim over it. For the first time in a long while, his heart skips.
‘ive known him forever rin. hes such an amazing person and my best friend but he doesn like me that way. if i tell him im just gonna lose him as a friend and id rather we be friends than nothing at all’
The punctuation is atrocious, and the grammar is slightly questionable, but Kita smiles regardless. He carefully folds the paper again, placing it inside the envelope. He closes his locker and continues his evening routine of cleaning up and locking the club room.
Over the next hour as Kita cleans, his thoughts mull over the letter he had just received. The menial nature of the tasks relaxes him, gives him time to mull over this new information. Kita realizes that maybe he isn’t as perceptive as previously thought by his friends.
How can he have not seen that look in your eyes before? Softer than anything and directed only at him, now that he thinks about it. He ponders over your words, the insecurity and negativity behind them. He has never known you to be a negative person. You are endlessly optimistic and full of energy. You are so bright that Kita loves basking in it. He has known you for a very long time, and he is almost affronted that your budding romantic feelings were hidden from him for so long. Especially when Kita has made his courting intentions for you fairly clear.
He has not directly said anything. But he doesn’t think he was ever being discreet. But maybe he has been wrong in his approach. Maybe you hooking your arm with his when you walked to school in the morning, sharing lunches every day, permanently stealing a few of his choice hoodies were all friendly gestures on your part. While Kita has interpreted the gestures as romantic, it seems you have not felt the same heat behind those actions.
Kita has always walked the same route home, sometimes with Aran, sometimes with you, and sometimes on his own. Today he takes the walk alone, but he is not bothered. He has purpose in his mind, the red envelope in his hand, and his feet carry him all the way through the winding streets until he stops at your doorstep.
He smiles at the surprise in your eyes when you receive him at the door. He nearly coos at the fuzzy slippers on your feet, huge and with bunny ears on them, making your feet look twice their usual size. You are so cute. Kita scolds himself lightly, regretting that he had wasted so much time as your friend when maybe he could have spent it with you as his romantic partner. His girlfriend.
It has a nice ring to it, Kita decides.
“Shinsuke?” Your voice breaks his train of thought. The ‘what are you doing here’ is clear in your voice. Your eyes are wide and your face is questioning. There is a tinge of worry on your face, and Kita realizes that showing up unannounced may not have been the best idea. He isn’t sure what is going on in your head, but he quickly tries to quash your worries.
“Everything is fine.” Clear, direct, to the point. It’s Kita being Kita. “I’m here about something I found in my locker while closing up.”
He holds up the red envelope, and when you stare at it in confusion, he proceeds to open it and pull out the white paper. You take it when he offers it to you, unfolding it and reading the letter. If you can call it that.
Kita watches the color drain from your face, notices how the panic overtakes your features as you recognise the conversation printed in front of you. He feels his shoulders slump a little, lamenting the fact that you are truly scared about him finding out. What do you think he will do? Has Kita truly not made his intentions for you clear enough? He cannot help but self loathe in that moment, seeing the state you were in now.
“Shin-”
He doesn’t let you finish.
“If you will allow it, I would like to take you out for dinner this weekend. Will you be free on Saturday?”
You blink once, twice. Your mouth opens and closes. Kita is acutely reminded of a fish. He tries to tamp down his smile.
“R-really?”
He merely nods.
Slowly, life reinjects into your face. You seem to age in reverse before his very eyes. Your grip on the letter crinkles the paper slightly, and Kita reaches out to gently pry it from your hands and smooth it out. He stays quiet as you process his words. He thinks of hugging you, maybe even kissing you. But stops himself. Those are moments he will reserve for after your first date, after he has properly given you the best date of your dreams. So he keeps his eyes on the letter.
“Remind me to thank Suna for this letter.” He comments. “I must say, it’s the strangest confession letter I have ever received.”
There is a pause.
“You’ve received other confession letters?!”
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asumi2020202 · 4 months ago
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You and I.. We were Born to Die
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Reader
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Summary: Princess Y/n, The Foreseer and Princess Rhaenys, The Queen who never was, were chosen to fly to Rook's Rest.
A/n: It's just a different ending than the one they actually presented in the show. I just wanted to write something for Aemond. Anyways, Thank you for reading!
Note:
Reader is Rhaenys' granddaughter.
Reader's dragon is Moonfyre The Nightdream. She was one of the last eggs of Balerion and Dreamfyre. She is only 9 years old during the Dance of the Dragons.
Reader can Foresee glimpses of the future.
__________________àž…â ^â â€ąâ ï»Œâ â€ąâ ^â àž…_______________
Cole and his army were marching towards Rook's Rest. The council was in distress in the absence of the Queen.
The lords argued with themselves and the Heir to the Throne. Pointing out their views on the matter. Y/n stood beside her brother and Princess Rhaenys.
The council's bickering halted as the Queen suddenly walked in.
Jacaerys, your brother, looked very dissatisfied with your mother, the Queen. They argued as to who would go to Rook's Rest.
Your mother volunteered herself which made Jace rage up.
"Send me" Jacaerys said with confidence.
"No" Rhaenyra replied with a sarcastic laugh.
"I will go to Rook's Rest and wipe Cole's line and return-"
"You lack the experience." Rhaenyra stopped Jace's argument.
"You must send me. Meleys is the second largest dragon you have." Rhaenys intervened, to which Rhaenyra felt speechless.
Rhaenys gave Corlys a smile before leaving the room. A vision flashed before your eyes as your body stilled.
Meleys getting killed.
Rhaenys falling to her death.
There were..... two dragons.
One was Sunfyre you thought you saw... But you couldn't recognise the other.
Your mother's calling snapped you out of your vision. You looked panicked. Your mother and brother sensed something wrong.
"Y/n-" Jace reached for you before you said
"Send me as well"
"That cannot be done sweet girl." Rhaenyra said.
"It must be! Rhaenys- .... I saw her. And Meleys! They were ambushed. There were two dragons! Aegon will come! She cannot go alone! She Will Die!"
Rhaenyra looked shocked at your outburst. She pondered for a while before agreeing.
Moonfyre and Meleys were the largest dragons of the blacks. Rhaenyra trusted her daughter's judgement.
_________________________________________
As you walked to the Dragon Pit, you saw no one. No one dared to come closer to your child. They feared their lives.
Rhaenys had left early. You left an hour after she had left. You doubted if you could catch upto her. Meleys was the fastest dragon.
Moonfyre let out a groan as she flew through the clouds to Rook's Rest.
Your memories flashed before you. The first time you rode a dragon was with your father. It was Seasmoke.
"Kepa! Soo high! Hehe" little y/n threw her arms up in the air as Seasmoke flew through the clouds, huffing proudly.
"Yes. Do you like it? Being here atop the clouds?" Laenor asked his daughter who only giggled and said.
"Yes kepa" laenor smiled and said "If you like, we can fly on Seasmoke every now and then. Just don't tell your mother or i won't hear the end of it."
You smiled at the memory. Those times perished very quickly, right infront of your eyes.
You could only look ahead now, not behind. You may not even make it out alive today. But you'll die knowing that you tried.
_________________________________________
Meleys tackled Sunfyre in the sky as the roar of another dragon was heard. Larger wings taking off in the sky.
Vhagar had arrived.
"Thank the gods!" Aegon exclaimed before his face turned to horror upon realisation of what was to come.
"Dracarys!" Aemond said
"No! Noo!" Aegon screamed trying to take cover of his dragon. Meleys fled the moment Vhagar breathed fire.
Meleys was away from Vhagar and Sunfyre. Rhaenys felt no hope returning back home. She would fight. She would fight here and die. She closed her eyes and opened them slowly before saying
"Angƍs Meleys.."
Meleys turned back to the fight, she gave a look to Rhaenys which she reciprocated. Rhaenys tightened her strap, and held tighter to the saddle.
Vhagar and Meleys were flying towards each other, when suddenly...
A loud roar could be heard...
Moonfyre came out of the clouds. Her size a close match to Vhagar.
She was one of the unhatched egg of Balerion and Dreamfyre before Balerion passed.
"Dracarys!"
All eyes went on the White dragon and her rider as she breathed fire. Vhagar flew away from the fire before she could collide with Meleys.
Rhaenys watched as Moonfyre the 9 year old dragon chased after Vhagar the 180 year old dragon. Both almost equal in size.
"Angƍs Moonfyre!" Y/n shouted to her dragon.
Aemond looked back once. He didn't anticipate that another dragon, let alone the dragon of his once betrothed, would be coming to Rook's Rest.
He didn't turn away and flee. Vhagar turned back and charged towards the Nightdream.
The largest dragons collided with each other. Moonfyre clawed at Vhagar's wing as the Queen of the Dragons let out a loud wail.
Rhaenys got rid of any of the remaining green soldiers before joining Y/n in her battle.
Y/n grunted as Moonfyre flew away just in time to dodge Vhagar's attack.
Meleys came in and clawed at Vhagar's right wing. Tearing away some flesh from her wing.
Aemond, knowing he couldn't win and fled from Rook's Rest.
Yet amongst all, two were completely forgotten.....
Aegon the Usurper and Sunfyre the Golden....
Meleys told y/n that the last she saw them was when Sunfyre crashed near the woods.
Nodding at her grandmother's word, Y/n took off towards the direction of the woods along with Rhaenys.
_________________________________________
Moonfyre and Meleys were just a few feet away.
As you walked through the woods with Rhaenys, she drew out her sword for protection.
The two of you saw smoke coming out. Upon a closer look, the two of you saw Aegon and Sunfyre.
Aegon's body partly burned and bent. While Sunfyre's one wing was almost torn.
Rhaenys and you shared a look before deciding that you both would take Aegon back to Dragonstone.
Sunfyre was smaller than Moonfyre so she could carry the Gold dragon with her feet.
_________________________________________
"Your grace you must calm down-" Corlys tried to reason.
"How can I possibly calm down?! I don't know if my girl would return safely! I cannot lose another child!" Rhaenyra said, her voice raising.
All became silent....
A loud roar was heard. Rhaenyra and the rest ran outside. There they were...
Moonfyre and Meleys.
Rhaenyra squinted her eyes which widened when she saw what came with the dragon riders.
Moonfyre dropped Sunfyre's body a bit far before landing on the beach.
Y/n came down from Moonfyre as Rhaenys came down from Meleys, taking Aegon down with her.
Guards took Aegon's body away. He would be dealt with afterwards.
Rhaenyra ran and hugged her daughter. She offered Rhaenys a smile and thanked her for protecting her daughter.
Baela ran and hugged y/n as she hid her face in y/n's neck.
_________________________________________
When night came over Driftmark, you stood near the balcony. A letter in your right hand. You turned back to your trusted maid and gave her the letter.
She nodded and quickly left from to room. She was to deliver that letter to the one eyed prince or rather..... The Kinslayer..
You gently took the letter you had received from him that evening in your arms, reading it again.
You look up at the sky, closing your eyes as Moonfyre soared above the sky, your white hair flowing away from your face due to the wind.
The letter which you had received made you question everything. You do love that man even though he killed your brother..
Dear y/n,
I didn't expect to see you today. I realised after today that this war is neither yours nor mine to fight yet we both find ourselves tangled in it.
I wished for the throne because my brother is unfit for it. But I realise now that... I wish for you more. That I need you more than any throne, any power.
Aegon will die and so will the other Greens. I know that you would not believe me but I am willing to leave my grudges and be with you.
I need you not some Baratheon girl.
I have realised that you.. and i... We were born to die... together....
That was what the letter stated. You stilled as a vision flashed in your eyes.
Your little brother..... Was it Aegon or was it Viserys? Who ever it was.. looked quite grown up...
He was getting coronated....by Aemond..
You stood beside him, and on the opposite side stood Lord Cregan Stark...
You panted as your vision ended, eyes regaining their color.
Maybe everything was going to okay after the war ends.. You and Aemond lived.. your brother sat on the throne..you could only hope the rest of the family was okay.
You felt relieved a bit by the vision, thinking about the letter you had sent.
It stated that he must accept Rhaenyra as the queen and pledge loyalty to her. If he doesn't, there isn't any thing you can do. He already took your brother, your mother won't let go of that easily but he could try.
The last line was one of the same lines he wrote to you.....
"You and I .... We were born to Die...."
-Lillian
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teenage-mutant-ninja-freak · 1 month ago
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Dating Sevika (some NSFW)
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Possessive much???
always always always has to have a hand on you
not big on public displays of affection but it;; be a hand on the back of your neck, or pulling you by the wrist or a hand on your inner thigh if you're sat next to her
Love (and I mean *loves*) to subtly turn you on while other people are there
whether it be flexing those big muscles or whispering something to you and then biting your earlobe she will do it just to get you soaked and ready for later
very protective
like, she made you go about with body guards until you begged her to stop that
now she makes them follow you from a distance
you know that but it's better than it was
she wants you to be safe, ok?
Big. Strap, Energy
((and a big strap reality if we're being super honest))
makes her feel powerful
humiliation kink for sure
watching you gag and spit running down your chin while she shoves her fingers or strap down your throat...
she's never seen you look more beautiful.
unpredictable sleeper
like, you've accidentally slammed the door way to hard and she continued snoring
she denies snoring btw
but one time you got up to get a glass of water and as you closed the fridge she was standing there- scaring the shit out of you
will no, does not and cannot tolerate others hitting on you or even complimenting you
a guy smiled at you for "too long", in Sevika's words, and now his face is in a cast
you know that song where it's like "that boy is a really pussy pleaser"?
yeah well, that song also describes Sevika
she will keep you in bed for hours, she'll tie you down if she has to
was pretty shy when you two first got together but once it was clear the feeling was mutual between you two, she got so cocky so fast
she's into goddamn everything
thigh riding, face fucking, over stimulation, body worship, praising you non stop, straps, bondage, degradation, crying kink, humiliation kink.... do I need to go on?
she's an acts of service gal
the first time you got sick she showed up at your door with homemade, still warm chicken soup
didn't say a word just handed it to you and walked in
you woke up from a nap and she'd done your laundry and washed up
she won't let you recognise that she's done those things for you either, you'll try and thank her and she'll instantly change the subject.
She doesn't get obsessed with people easily but when she's pussy whipped she is pussy whipped!
always future planning
pillow talk for you two is her talking about where you guys will be 5 years from now, how you'll be living so good together
she's a quiet drunk
a horny drunk too
she'll come home from the bar late and just feel you up, really manhandle you
all the while whispering about how bad she needs you right now and you're all she's thought about all day
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buriedpentacles · 4 months ago
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10 Simple Ways to Worship Mother Nature
These could apply to any earthly god or goddess really, so feel free to borrow any ideas that speak to you! And please tell me about how you worship your deity, I'd love to know 💚đŸȘČ
Going for daily, mindful walks. Sometimes I'll listen to music, other times I'll just listen to the world around me.
Wear a lot of greens and browns, as well as recycled and more sustainable fabrics (a lot of my clothes are also thrifted, and I try to avoid overconsumption)
Decorate my space with earthy colours, posters and pieces of the earth - I have crystals, bones, pressed flowers and even rocks and twigs in my room
Learn about nature and the world around me - I am a zoology student so my academic career is also a devotion to Mother Nature but I also learn about what animals I can see locally, I study when and where flowers bloom and how to tell when rain is coming etc
Reconnect with my more primal side - a significant part of my work with Mother Nature is reognising and accepting that humans are animals, and we behave as such; we cannot allow ourselves to become seperate from wilderness. To me, this involves connecting with my intuition and gut feelings, recognising my emotions and desires and working with them
Making and wearing daisy chains or flower crowns
Creating art inspired by the world around me and myself
Caring for animals (that includes other humans) when I can and it's safe: from helping a snail move across the path, to making sure a dying bird can rest peacefully, to giving food and money to the homeless
Loving myself, though it isn't always easy
Spending time outside with my hands in the dirt or streams, speaking with the trees and birds and listening to their replies
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kombuuuu · 1 year ago
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Omg I just saw that u write for atsv!! So I was wondering if u could do one with a female reader x hobie where the readers quite reserved to everyone in public (maybe she’d been a spidey longer so she’s lost more people? Idk why she’d be reserved bc I cannot write for shot lmao) and people think she’s super cold but then they like?? Walk in, and she’s like open and warm with Hobie (it doesn’t matter if she’s loud or not) and they kinda just look at the scene in shock like wtf and Pav is sort of smug bc he knew all along and then it comes out that they’re dating?
It Sounds Nice coming from You.
Hobie Brown x Fem!Spidey Reader
“I totally called it.” “Don’t even speak, Pavitr.”
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kisses him cause he my bf (-compulsive liar)
People whispered about you. Spider people and the general public alike. Your city spreading gossip, rumours and misinformation to try and figure out who you were, but that was a Spiderwoman affair, every one of them dealt with it.
But having people same as you talk in hushed tones, glancing at you as you walked past. That’s a new kind of feeling.
The Spider Society didn’t exactly favour you, per se. There was nothing inherently wrong with you either, so no reason to get rid of you. But you were just so silent. No one knew a thing about you.
You mostly kept to yourself around base, never really trying too hard to make friends, you were well known enough not to be questioned. A loyal fighter was what you were recognised for, not your personality, your abilities.
There were still some people that managed to creep their way in though, their hearts so full of love, you didn’t know how to refuse them.
So you conceded. You let them in, and begged to any deity that would listen not to take them from you.
—
Hobie knew you as someone who could listen. Who understood him rather than challenged his beliefs. Not that he had any, but that was the point.
Your lack of input made him feel accepted in going on tangents of why he thought the way he did. And you just sat, and listened. A kind heart and an open mind.
Which eventually led to him falling for that kind heart. Tripping over his own feet to please your silent self. To get those small smiles or amused huffs out of you.
The occasional time you spoke to him, under hushed breaths and fond tones. God, he couldn’t take it.
The way your accent forms over each and every word, how your voice was akin to honey malt, sweet and addicting. Only giving him small doses, but he was the only one who got those doses. Only him, and you, and the words you spoke or times you listened.
He knows that people thought you were cold, or unloving. And maybe you were at first, maybe he thought you were. But he figured you out fast. Where you couldn’t talk, you could touch. Brushing your hands over his arm to get his attention. Linking your hand through his and dragging him away from people you don’t want to be near, he would smile down at you and follow along like a lost puppy. How your brows would crease a certain way, or nose would scrunch a little when you found distaste in things. He was a fool for you.
Where you lacked in verbal communication, you strived in every other category. So when some Spider-people decided to come to him, urging him for answers about you.
Telling him that he wasn’t sure you even wanted to be here—, Hobie would shut down the conversation quicker than thought to be possible. Giving a simple “She’s just quiet.”, and ditching the moment the words are out of his mouth.
It’d worked—, for a while. Ignoring the demeaning or conspiratorial comments made about you by spider-people a-kind. But eventually it got the better of him. Having him borderline snarl at the people who would talk shit right in front of his, or your, face.
“She’s silent, ain’t she?”
“Yeah. Peter 48 said she was like that ‘cause she killed her parents, made ‘er real quiet.”
“Jesus christ. Wouldn’t surprise me, she’s a freak.”
“Dude—“ One of the two spiders, the first one, turned to Hobie. Spider-senses ringing. Hobie stated back at them, deadpan and unblinking. “Don’t.”
The younger spider paled, quickly trying to backtrack.
“Hey— Hobie. I— Didn’t mean it. Was just repeating what I heard, ykno—“
“Cut it, mate.”
He squeaked, head tilting down in respect, the other spider following.
“Stop spreading shit rumours like ‘at. It ain’t fun when you’re the subject. ‘S it?”
“No.”
“Mm.”
Hobie walked past them smoothly, brushing shoulders with the kid just to scare him a little more. When he was far enough away, he heard them start to whisper to one another. “Fuck man, that was close. He could tell Miguel, and then we’d be out.”
“Jesus..”
He felt rather accomplished that day.
—
It was days later where you were brought up around him again. He’d been texting you, the upper half of his body hanging from Miguel’s platform, his wicks shifting every time he moved.
Miguel and Lyla were talking amongst themselves, clicking through holograms and sorting things out for potential anomalies.
Jess, Pavitr and Gwen had walked into the room chatting, Pav and Gwen expressing their excitement rather loudly.
He glanced up at them from his phone, you were still typing.
immm gonna b homein ten just be patient >:(
I’m patient 🩑
u werent 2 seconds ago
I don’t subscribe to consistency.
Or this slandering talk
ur consistently lame
also why squid
I’m never lame. Also, he’s cute
hes not real
Don’t do this me
reeeeeal tasty tho
What is wrong with you.
numnnum crunchhhh crrcchhh numnum ( > _ <)
Inhumane.
mmmmmm yummyyyy
He can’t die, he’s immortal
The ‘Texting’ bubble popped up on his screen.
“Hey, Hobie!”
Pavitr was running up to him, looking from his lowered position below the elevated platform.
He slipped further down the platform, slumping slowly as he greeted Pavitr upside down.
“Pav, my guy!”
Pavitr bounced on the balls of his feet, smiling wide at his friend.
“What’chu doing up there?”
His eyes darted to Miguel and Lyla, ending their conversation.
Smirking, he whispered to Hobie, “With the grump.”
Hobie snickered, gaining a disapproving look from Jess.
“Textin’ [Name].”
Just then, the next message from you showed.
immortal ??? how consistent of him to live
He grinned, typing back quickly while Pavitr eyed him knowingly.
He’s a squid, he’s more fluid than anything
ihu
terrivle joke
No, you don’t
And it was great
wtvr >:P
Hobie grabbed the ledge of the platform and swung down, landing softly in front of Pavitr and pocketed his phone.
“Glad ya ‘ere. Those two can’t keep it quiet, aye?” He said, pointing back towards Lyla and Miguel.
“They do argue very often.”
“Nah, Lyla don’t argue, mate. Just the hardass.”
Pavitr snorted and Hobie softly punched his stomach in jest, earning one from Pav to the chest, and starting a round of playful punching. Pavitr laughed as Hobie brought him into a headlock, scrunching his fist over the shorter man’s hair and rubbing it in.
They let up when they heard Lyla teasing Miguel for something again, giggling to each other at his expense.
He threw an arm over his fluffy haired friend and leaned his weight on him. Pav smiled up at him once more, brighter now. Before he could speak, Gwen’s voice echoed through the barren room.
“Same reason as you, I’m guessing.”
Hobie turned his head towards her, dropping himself off Pav and standing up straight again. Smiling at her as she reached him, and went in to hug her briefly. When they disconnected, he spoke again.
“Yeah—, No clue then, mini-punk.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Neither big bad has said nothin’ to me yet.”
“Seriously, are we going to skip over that?”
“Maybe they’re waiting until [Name] is here!” Pavitr chimed in.
“What does mini-punk even mean!”
“Not exactly, Pavitr.”
Jess, who now was standing next to Miguel, spoke.
The trio turned to face the two elder spider-people.
“Huh?”
“We wanted to have a discussion with the three of you—.” Miguel put his hands on his hips, authority that Hobie only saw as a challenge emanating from his figure.
“—Away from [Name], she’s already been consulted.”
Hobies eyes narrowed, the atmosphere in the room suddenly shifting to something a lot less unfriendly, and a lot more cautious.
Jess caught wind of the younger man’s tense stature and shuffled forward a step, not unwilling to intervene.
“Nothing too bad, just—,” He paused for a moment, the dense light from the reflective floors making the contours of his face pop.
Hobie watched with batted breath, posture only slightly relaxing from the statement. The crease in his brows begging to be drawn, yet his pokerface was something to be beat.
“,—Addressing her.. lack of communication.”
A shiver raked down the brit’s body, physically restraining himself from chewing this man out with a rebuttal.
“Wha’ ‘bout it?”
His gruff voice was a stark indicator of his annoyance.
“Well, ignoring the rumours following her—,”
Hobie, the usually rather sensical man, was getting more agitated by the minute.
“,—We’ve noticed a certain independence that she holds. Something not many others do.”
The punk quirked a brow.
“So?” Gwen was the one to talk now.
“That doesn’t seem very serious, ‘f you ask me.” She laughed lightly, trying to lighten the mood. Something Pavitr seemed a tad scared to do. There was a lot of competition in the air right now, he wasn’t very competitive.
“Exactly, it’s not.”
Jess cut in, seeing how terribly Miguel started this conversation made her cringe.
“It’s not—, but,” She shook her head, hair falling prettily with every move. “,Her ‘independence’, has been more akin to ‘lack of teamwork’. In some cases.”
Gwen started to speak again, her eyebrows furrowed, just as Hobies now were. He was right about brewing with offence.
“So!—,” Jess cut her off before she could begin.
“So there’s no need for her to have distractions anymore. From now on, she will not be going on team missions. Just solo’s.”
“Wha—! You’re cutting her off?!”
“Gwen, it’s not like that.”
“Like hell it isnt! She’s a part of us!”
“Doesn’t this mean she’s going to be in more danger?” Pavitr spoke up, concerned.
“No— well, not unless—,”
“Unless!? You’ve gotta’ be kidding!” Gwen choked out.
“And what does ‘consulted’ mean! Did she agree to this?!—“
They continued to argue, Gwen and Pavitr advocating for your teamwork skills while Miguel and Jess had made up their mind.
“No communication,” He pinched the bridge of his nose “,Fuck off.” Hobie scoffed under his breath, turning to leave and storming out.
The voices of Miguel, Jess and his friends following him through the portal to you.
—
“You agreed to this?”
lIts not like they’re wrong, I just hold you all back.”
He huffed, exasperated. Not only were you putting yourself in danger, you were doing it alone. And letting some guy who has a borderline vendetta against teens be the call for it.
“Now, you know that’s not tr—“
His stern voice was cut off by the frown on your face quivering. A due sign of you nearing to cry.
“Oh, shit— C’mon dollface, c’mere.”
He sat down on your shared bed, scooting against the headboard and bringing you into his lap. A soothing hand ran over your back as you tried to reel in your embarrassment.
“I really didn’t mean to agree.”
Hobie sighed, pushing your head into his neck and watching how the rings adorning his fingers rose goosebumps in their path. “I know, sweet’eart.”
And he did know, the moment that it had been a meeting addressed solely with just Jess and Miguel, he knew that Peter had been excluded for a reason. That Miles had been sent after an anomaly as an unknowing distraction for Peter to chase after. He knew those two intimidated you. And the fear of parental disappointment was something they used on you—, young, sweet you. That only ever got hurt because she didn’t want her problems to hurt others, or herself.
You had opened up to him once. Told him what everyone twisted when they whispered sickening words. A story unlike the rumours crowding your reputation.
How no, you hadn’t killed your parents, or siblings, or whatever messed up thing people claimed of you.
You told him how you hadn’t been bitten yet. How, when your family was killed, you hadn’t had any powers. So you couldn’t save them. And it wasn’t even canon. Nothing could’ve stopped them from dying, but it didn’t have to happen. And that was the guilt that weighed on you. How no matter the hardships your parents put you through, a kid neglected of attention. You still would rather die a million times for them to live once.
And it’s all “would”, and never “can”.
Other spider-people don’t have to live with the fact their parents died for nothing. Was what you said. A messed up thought, no doubt. And one you felt guilty for. But the sole continuer of this sorrow-filled silence. Which has worked well enough to protect you so far, why is Hobie one to break that?
Because you love him, you guess.
His hands slid further down your back, resting on the curve of your waist in his lap.
His breathing soothed yours. The shuddering breaths you had been giving to stop your tears, also stopped.
“You wanna talk about your day instead, luv?”
“Yeah, thank you Hobie.”
“Love when you say my name, Babydoll. So pretty and sweet like that.”
Wrapping your hands around his lithe waist, you hummed. Beginning your recount of the day in the honeyed, reserved tone you’d always held.
—
Around half an hour had passed with Gwen arguing against Miguel before Peter showed up, Moles in tow.
“What’s all this about?” His slippers flopped when he walked and the baby carrier strapped to his chest shifted every time a sleeping MayDay squirmed to get comfortable.
“This—, This asshole!”
“Gwen.” Jess chastised her.
Gwen ignored it, pointing at Miguel accusingly. “—Kicked [Name] off the team!”
“Not kicked.”
“You said she wasn’t going with us anymore.”
Miles looked offended by the prospect. “Why?”
“She’s not kicked, she’s simply better off solo.”
“Oh, so it’s our fault then!”
“Gwendolyne.”
“All of you, stop.”
Peters voice ended the bickering, having learnt since fatherhood exactly how to use said voice. “We are not sending an 18 year old on solo mission against anomalies.”
“Since when did you have a say—“
“Miguel. You’re an idiot if you think i’m going to let that happen. That’s a kid.”
“She’s an adult.”
“When it’s convenient to you.”
Miguel pinched his nose bridge, growling under his breath. Jess spared a glance at him before wincing and backing down from the conversation.
“She doesn’t talk to people.”
“I’m sure she does, just not to you.” Gwen cut in.
“Yeah, her and Hobie talk a lot.” Miles prepped up on his toes. Pavitr smiled and hummed an agreement.
“Not that I’ve seen.”
Peter gave him another disapproving look. “Disregarding that. The fact you decided to not consult me on this decision is another reason that it’s not happening.”
“Consult? Like some council, please.” Miguel scoffed at him, rolling his eyes and turning to open a holographic tab.
“Yes, like some council. Someone’s gotta be the brains ‘round here.” The father joked, coddling MayDay as she cooed.
“I’m going to go inform [Name] the retraction of this decision.”
“Don’t you dare.”
“Oops too late, portals open.”
“Can I come with?” Miles jogged after Peter, hopping quickly through the portal, Peter, Gwen and Pavitr following. Not without Gwen flipping Miguel off as she went. “We’ll sort something out, she can go duos with Hobie.” Jess put a hand on his shoulder, watching as he stared off to where the portal had previously been with a sided expression before sighing.
“Yeah..”
“That went great.” Lyla dragged, popping up on Miguel’s shoulder.
“I’m a second away from shutting you off.”
The AI blew a raspberry at her companion, and disappeared.
—
He had went off on a tangent about some movie he saw, or song he’d heard. Hobie honestly couldn’t remember, he was too focused on you. The way your voice sounded, how open you were being with him when every now and then you would respond to him. The hearts in his eyes were probably from how heavy his own was beating. Staring at you like a sinner to a prophet.
You had moved down from his lap, now curled against his side, head leaning on his shoulder and hand resting on his chest. At some point, the movie you had been watching before Hobie showed up was unpaused, and serving as background noise for his quiet rambling.
Both of you pressed under a blanket to beat the cold, and the darkness outside your window being killed off by the lights strung across your room. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this cozy, this utterly comfortable.
Sparks of colour strung out of nowhere, neither of them really seeing it at first, up until it spat out Miles. He stumbled forward a little and went to greet you before taking on the scene. You and Hobie cuddled up on a bed, blanket wrapped around you both, fire going, people singing. He was exaggerating the last parts, but it felt necessary for something so unexpected.
“Hey—, guys.” The awkward teen managed, before Peter walked through the portal with the other two in tow.
“Woah, no mean to interrupt.”
Peter put his hands up in surrender. Hobie snorted, it wasn’t like you were incapable of affection, It just seems he was the only one who got it.
“I totally called it.”
“Don’t even speak, Pavitr.”
He pouted, before giggling and waltzing over to sit next to the both of you. Flopping down on the bed and turning to watch the TV.
“Oh my god, I love this movie!”
“Favourite character?” You inquired. A collective raise of eyebrows was shown throughout the room.
Gwen shuffling over to sit down as well, a baffled look on her face.
“The horse.”
“Pff- Max?” Hobie snorted at Pav. Giving the still rather confused Miles - Peter duo a reassuring smile. And greeting Gwen with a fist bump, she smiled wearily at him before her smirk filled out and she punched his arm in congrats.
Pavitr nodded and laughed, gasping excitedly when the scene on the lake showed up. “Perfect timing.”
You glanced up at Hobie, Miles and Peter finding somewhere to sit as well, talking quietly amongst themselves.
He smiled at you, bringing you in closer while Pavitr sat smug.
The air of confusion slowly dissipated into something accepting, none but Pavitr had really expected you to be so.. Open. But they came to find they didn’t exactly mind it.
—
Everyone had left by now, the knowledge that you didn’t have to go on dangerous missions alone anymore leaving Hobie satisfied and you comforted.
“You doin’ right, babe?”
“Yeah, Hobes.”
You gripped his shirt a tad tighter and yawned, eyes drifting more shut as the minutes ticked down. “Wanna go t’ bed?”
“We’re in bed, dummy.”
He shot you a playful look.
“Don’ ge’ smart with me, young lady.”
You smiled at him before he made the decision to shuffle you both down in bed to get comfortable, switching off the lights by the outlet. He moved back to you, letting his whole body rest near yours, and letting you initiate any contact wanted.
A leg wrapped around his, and your arm still picking the fabric of his shirt.
“Sleep, sweethear’.”
“Mhmmph.”
Hobies breathe lulled you to sleep, white noise against your racing thoughts. He watched you fall, your trust in him to keep you safe was enough to make a man weak. He smiled, looking out your shared window at the city life below.
No crime, no anomaly or misshaped villain could possibly drag him away from you.
—
BAMBAMBAM đŸŠ‘â€Œïž
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hoffmansgirl · 16 days ago
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SALVATORE ━ father charlie mayhew đ’‹Čă…€Í
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PART 1.・ PART 2 (coming soon)
summary. in search of understanding and compassion, y/n finds herself growing fond of her new priest and teacher, father charlie mayhew.
a/n: holyyy i'm so excited for this! it is based off a request that i can't find atm, anon u know who u are :D as always feedback is deeply appreciated & requests are open ♡
tw. blasphemy; subtle touches; slight praise?; father charlie is a teaseeeee! (basically, nothing too extreme just yet) | wc. 2862
Y/N was sitting in the schoolyard, pen moving against the page of her journal swiftly as she lost herself in the little world she created in her head. The feeling of grass on her bare legs somewhat comforting, taking off some of the stress blooming in her chest.
It was almost finals season in the catholic university she went to. Every few seconds she could hear the other girls' worried voices, discussing the importance of the finals, almost as if their lives depended on it.
Y/N leaned against the tree, deep sigh leaving her mouth as she closed her journal, fingers brushing against the cover almost lovingly. She looked around, the sun almost hiding behind the stone brick walls. A few groups of girls were scattered around the yard, girls she barely spoke to. It wasn't that they weren't kind, she just didn't feel like fraternising with any of them.
She was just... different. Slightly older than most of them, although no one besides the nuns and teachers knew that. And she wasn't really a believer. Her parents were. made her go to the church every sunday, pray every night. They did everything to make her the perfect daughter, but they failed.
It was probably a form of self defence; some kind of a protest against everything her family wanted her to be. She became a sinner. Got drunk, took drugs, smoked, and even slept with a boy or two. The last one made her parents so angry and so disappointed that they made a decision to send her to a catholic college. A catholic, girls' only college. The loneliness she felt in the place almost made her regret everything she's done in the past.
Y/N got up from the grass and straightened her skirt when the big clock on the wall struck a quarter to six. She had a mass to attend to, and it was obligatory to pass the semester.
Some of the girls looked at her when she passed, some greeted her with a smile. their souls so pure, so untouched, she almost felt jealous.
She entered the church soon after, the soft clicking of her Mary Janes against the marble floor disturbing the quietness of the temple. The smell of incense filled her nostrils, so familiar yet so distant at the same time. The church was still empty as she sat in the third row, staring down at her hands. Goosebumps covered the skin of her legs, the cold air making her shiver slightly. She folded her hands in a prayer, kneeling and focusing on the cross behind an altar.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with you forever in the next", she chanted, voice quiet, eyes closing involuntarily.
She made the sign of the cross, feeling somewhat better after the short prayer. Her eyes opened, and she looked at the cross behind an altar, a small smile adoring her face. It was almost as if she could feel His presence next to her.
"I don't mean to interrupt", a low, yet soft voice came from behind her, and she was quite surprised at the fact she couldn't recognise it. Y/N turned her head, and her breath hitched at the sight of a young man in a cassock. His dark hair slicked back perfectly, and oh lord, he was so handsome, all of him. He looked more like a personal trainer of some sort than a priest. She could see his muscles even through the thick material of his gown. He walked towards her slowly, hands behind his back, pink mouth turning upwards, offering her a kind smile. "That was beautiful. It's rare to see someone so dedicated to prayer these days. Especially someone as young as you", he continued, now standing next to her as she kept wide eyes on him, his much bigger form towering over her. She cleared her throat, heart pounding in her chest. Y/N's cheeks burned as she realised he was waiting for an answer, playful glint in his eyes at the sight of her abashment.
"Excuse me, I don't mean to offend you..." the words word came out unsure, his intense gaze focused on her face, as if he was trying to memorise every detail about her. the young man nodded, meeting her eyes, and something dangerous sparked in his dark irises just for a moment. "I haven't seen you around here before".
"Of course. I should've introduced myself sooner, forgive me. I'm Father Charlie Mayhew", he clarified, the way his name rolled off his tongue made Y/N shift uncomfortably, hands shaking on her lap.
"I'm Y/N", she retorted quickly. "I'm so sorry for the directness, Father... but you are so young for a priest".
He chuckled softly, shaking his head, and Y/N couldn't help but smile, body finally starting to relax.
"And you seem too old to be a third year student, yet here you are", he noted playfully, sitting next to her on a wooden bench. Y/N gasped in disbelief at his sarcastic comment, the urge to laugh too strong now as she pressed her lips together in attempt to stop it.
She crossed her legs, the already short skirt riding up her thigh, and Father Charlie wasn't oblivious to that. She didn't notice the way his jaw tightened, shaky breath leaving his mouth, gaze lingering on her bare skin for a little bit too long.
"I must admit, Father", she started, leaning back against the cold wood, eyes focused on the altar, hands back on her lap in order to warm herself up. "I haven't confessed in ages. And never of my own accord", she spoke softly, the weight of her sins unbearable now, her head tilting to look at him, "And I'm not a saint. I've done a lot of things i'm not proud of. i still do", she admitted, the last sentence coming out as a whisper. She expected to see disgust in his eyes, maybe some signs of pity; yet all she found was an understanding going deeper than she would've expected. Father Charlie nodded, deep sigh leaving his mouth. He cocked his head, and Y/N couldn't help but notice the way his jaw clenched uncontrollably, the air between heavy, weird tension rising between the two.
Her eyes followed his every single move, unable to look away, mesmerised by his angelic presence.
"We are all sinners, Y/N", Father Charlie met her eyes, yet he looked absent, as if there were other things bothering him at the moment. "If you ever feel the need to talk, about anything, I will be more than happy to help. Come to me anytime", he reached for her leg, never breaking eye contact as he traced his thumb over her thigh softly. His words seemed so ambiguous, so wrong, almost blasphemous, considering his position. Yet she nodded her head politely, her gaze landing on his lips, need beginning to consume every single part of her body.
In that moment, she felt like she could trust him with her life. His presence so intimidating yet comforting, like a warm hug that she oh so desperately needed.
"I will keep that in mind. thank you, Father", Y/N pressed her thighs together, licking her lips nervously. He nodded, squeezing her thigh for the last time before standing up. Y/N shivered at the sudden coldness surrounding her, thigh burning from his soft touch. Charlie's eyes running over her form for the last time before he turned away and left.
Y/N exhaled, gripping at the edges of the pew tightly, and she swore she could hear her own heartbeat in the quietness of the church.
Lust. Yet another sin to add to the already long list. The very thing that made her parents send her to a catholic school, yet here she was, desire consuming every part of her body as she saw Father Charlie in the back of her mind, the memory of his warm hand on her thigh making her head spin. She felt pathetic at having such unholy thoughts about a freaking priest, the old version of her, the sinner, buried deep inside, beginning to set her body aflame, and it scared her.
She almost laughed hysterically at the ridiculousness of her current position as she looked at the altar again. The cross behind it almost mocking her, it's as if she could feel the disappointment of her Lord as she gazed at it blankly, the image of Father Charlie's smile appearing in her head yet again.
A few days passed, and it was as if Father Charlie vanished into thin air. It made Y/N wonder if he wasn't all an illusion, some sort of manifestation of her desires. Ever since the rather unusual encounter in the church, she hasn't seen him. His words echoed in her mind pretty often. "Come to me anytime". He had to be real. She actually contemplated reaching out to him, going into the church fifteen minutes before the mass started in hope of seeing him again.
Yet he never came. And she was disappointed; she grew fond of him, even though they only talked once. Loneliness sparked in her chest yet again, now more than ever. Yet she continued with her classes, being as perfect as ever, never letting anyone see through her. The only thing she could think of was his him, a devilishly handsome priest, whose eyes haunted her even in dreams.
When Y/N woke up that morning, sun shining through the curtains, an image of Father Charlie appeared in her mind once again. She hated herself for thinking about him so often, yet his smile seemed to be stuck in her head, his voice echoing through her head like some sort of a dreamy psalm.
It was Wednesday; which meant there was a hard day ahead of her. Bible reading classes with Sister Megan, whom she adored, very much, but her presence felt melancholic, as if she was sucking the life out of Y/N. She was so pure, as every single girl in the university, and it made her angry. Angry because she couldn't relate to any of them, angry because the only person who seemed to understand her was Father Charlie. Father Charlie who disappeared as quickly as he appeared.
She groaned at the thought of him, rubbing her eyes slowly, stretching, dramatic yawn leaving her mouth.
The air felt hot on her skin, smile appearing on her face nonetheless, eyes squinting involuntarily as she took in the weather outside the window. It was such a beautiful day, summer air making her feel better as she got up slowly, starting to get ready for the day.
It was ten past eight as she left her room, locking it before walking down the hallway to leave the residence hall, her heels clicked against the wooden floor as she walked, the silence almost suffocating, a musky smell of the antique building filling her lungs. She took a left and walked through the classroom door confidently.
"Good morning, Sister", she looked at the spot behind the teacher's desk, expecting to see Sister's Megan contagious smile, yet she was met with Father Charlie's intense gaze.
She inhaled softly at the sight of him as she stopped in the middle of the class, heart throbbing in her throat. She was mad that, once again, he looked absolutely breathtaking; not wearing a cassock this time, instead there was a black suit that cling perfectly to his muscular body. His ring glistened in the sun as he drummed his fingers against the desk, back pressed against the back of the chair comfortably, legs spread wide, almost inviting her to come in between them, and her heart throbbed with longing at the sight.
"Well, good morning, Y/N", he smiled and looked her up and down shamelessly, his gaze making her feel small as she returned his smile hesitantly.
"Cha- Father", Y/N breathed, chewing on her bottom lip, unsure what to say. He was the last person she expected to see, but she was relieved to see him. "Is Sister Megan sick?"
She walked to the front desk slowly, putting her bag down on the wood, eyes never leaving his form.
"No need to worry. Sister Megan is perfectly fine. Although I will be the one to conduct the Wednesday classes from now on", he explained, flashing his white teeth at her as he smiled. She thought that he looked really happy to see her; happiness bloomed in Y/N's chest, body starting to get warm, heat lingering in between her thighs.
"Good", she breathed a little bit too enthusiastically, the excitement obvious in her voice. "I wanted to come and see you, Father, but it seems as if you were... absent", she wet her lips, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt mindlessly, battling her eyelashes. The gesture made Charlie twitch in his seat; her faked innocence was adorable, her body and eyes betraying her true intentions right away.
"Yes, I was quite busy", he sighed, getting up abruptly. "Why did you want to see me? Did something happen?", Charlie asked, genuinely curious as he walked over to Y/N, standing right in front of her crossed legs. Her breath hitched as she looked up, meeting his gaze, tensing at the closeness.
"I...", she hesitated, "I don't know".
A lie.
He half-smiled as y/n uncrossed her legs, gripping the edges of the desk until her knuckles turned white. Her chest heaved with uneven breaths, yet she never looked away from his eyes, tension inside of her stomach ready to snap anytime now.
"Y/N...", he leaned in, "Lying is a sin".
Charlie took a step back, his gaze hardening, almost becoming demanding as he clenched his jaw.
"Luke, 8:17", his voice almost taunting as he challenged her, dangerous glint in his dark irises.
Her palms became sweaty as she chanted: "For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light".
Charlie's smile almost predatory, adoration taking over his features as he tilted his head, hand reaching out to put a strand of Y/N's hair behind her ear. The girl's eyes fluttered shut as she exhaled through her mouth, the feeling of his warm hand on her cheek so right, as if he was meant just for her.
"Smart girl", he praised, voice low and proud. He dropped his hand, backing off and she finally felt like she could breathe again. She hated herself for enjoying his touch and words so much, his position more exciting than terrifying now. Yet they both knew he shouldn't be doing this, using her submissiveness to feed his own sick fantasies, teasing her until she broke. But there was no denying the effect he had on her, panties damp from the arousal coating them, embarrassment and guilt heavy on her chest, yet the lust blooming in her stomach stronger.
The air around her felt cold, even though it was hot outside. She so desperately wanted him to touch her again, but she woke up from the trance quickly, clearing her throat as the clock struck eight thirty.
"I'm sorry, Father", her voice barely above a whisper as she fixed her hair, jumping off from the desk as she heard her classmates' hushed voices from the corridor.
Y/N sat down across from him as she lowered her gaze, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt, face flushed as she tried to maintain her balance. Charlie's appearance as perfect as before as he sat back on the chair casually; disappointment bloomed in her chest at his stoic posture, thinking that it didn't affect him at all.
"You need to confess before the weight of your sins crushes you, Y/N", his voice dangerously low yet steady, spark in his dark eyes, before he greeted the other students as they walked in. Professional look on his face, the one she hasn't seen before, as he started the class, his words inaudible as she followed his every move with curious eyes.
Father Charlie was not just a priest. Something about him made her crave for him, all of him. He seemed to understand her so well, even though they barely spoke. She found comfort in his demanding yet affectionate manner, the way he praised her, touched her softly, almost as if he expected her to break if he pushed too hard. Heart filled with longing as she followed the movement of his lips, the way his silver cross necklace glistened in the sunlight. Dimples appearing on his face when he smiled at something her classmate said, dark eyes that kept on meeting her own.
So divine yet so cruel.
So tempting yet so forbidden.
━━━━━━━━━━
2024, hoffmansgirl ©
nicholas alexander chavez masterlist ✿ | about the author
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a-sip-of-milo · 1 year ago
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You're allowed to not like tone tags. You're allowed to feel as though they're infantilising to you. You're allowed to ask that people don't use them when talking to you directly. You're even allowed to say that you don't agree with the concept of them.
What you cannot do is claim that they're not helpful to anyone and talk on behalf of all of us when expressing your feelings on the matter.
Tone tags have saved me from countless arguments. They've provided me with the opportunity to make jokes and participate in banter that I otherwise wouldn't be able to be a part of because of my inability to recognise tone. It's allowed others to joke and banter with me because they know it's not going to cause me any distress.
They have been an absolute life changer. Don't try to make people feel guilty for needing them because you don't personally like them.
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