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smalltimidbean · 1 year ago

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Hi! I'm Ruben, and this is my art blog! I mostly post silly OCs and original stuff, or whatever I happen to be hyperfixated on at the time! Read on to find out more!

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About

I am Ruben, but most people call me Bean, and I also go by Ben - so feel free to use any of those names, I'll respond to them all!

I'm 28, Non-Binary, and I use They/Them pronouns. I've been doing art pretty much all my life, and I do it somewhat professionally. I enjoy all types of art, but my mains are drawing and animation - but don't be surprised if there are some crafts or other medias here and there too!

I am autistic, and have severe social anxiety (among other disabilities), so please be patient with me if I take a while to respond, have an under/overreaction to something, or do not understand something right away! I also tend to forget things a lot, so you can always give me a reminder, if it has been a while - just please do not spam me!

I love getting asks about my characters, and AUs, even if I cannot answer them all - I have many askblogs for more specific characters/settings, which are linked below if you wanna check them out!

Please keep in mind that some of my characters are villainous, aggressive or just plain mean, and any actions or responses may be rude, violent or upsetting! When I respond in character, I am just playing a character, and their actions do not reflect me, and should not be taken personally!

DMs I am more hesitant about bc of the mentioned anxiety, so if you wish to DM me, please have a reason to be doing so - I don't tend to respond to just 'hi', and asking for free art will probably end up in a block. I also do not RP at all, so please do not ask.

I tend to vent a lot! I use art as a form of catharsis and to avoid hurting myself irl, so there might randomly be some upsetting content posted, but I do tag these with 'vent tag', and the appropriate CW tags - please see below for them

My art (and characters) is not for free use! So please do not repost, edit, trace my art, and please do not use it in videos/games, or for AI bots/databases. If you see my art somewhere, that I did not approve of, and regardless if it is credited or not, please let me know!

That being said, if you really want to use my art somewhere, please ask first! Usually the use as an icon, or in a silly meme, is fine - just ask first!

I don't do requests for things I am not interested in, and I probably will not draw your OC for free. I do take suggestions for things I am interested in, and might do the occasional art trade with mutuals/friends. I do also take commissions (but my sheet needs a big update, so prices may change soon).

I switch sonas around a lot! Bean is my main one (in a semi-realistic style and a more cartoonish one), but do not be surprised if I am sometimes depicted as a furry or a monster now and then.

These sonas are also both a representation of me, and characters in my stories. I try to define when I am 'in-character' and 'out-of-character', so please keep this in mind when commenting/asking.

Fanart of my characters and AUs is okay, and always appreciated! Please try to represent the characters(s) the best you can, and ask before doing making significant design changes (such as a 'Genderbend' or 'Species Swap' etc). Again, I am forgetful, so if I do not acknowledge it within a week or so, please give me a nudge!

I don't mind minors following, as most of my stuff is SFW, but please keep in mind that I am an adult, and may upload an occasional suggestive post or joke. These are also tagged as needed.

Good golly this is so long, but I think that's it for this part

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Interests

I am currently mainly into Pizza Tower, and the OCs I have created for it, so that is mostly what you will see at the moment! - I have currently two AUs I am focused on, mainly the one where it's just my interpretation of the game (no name for this one yet), and then my secondary called 'Cheeseshop AU', with Brick the Rat as the protag, and species are swapped! (So Brick is human, Peppino and Gustavo are rats etc)

I also have a lot of original stories, characters and concepts, and will post those too! I tend to jump from idea to idea and back again, so do not mind if I am talking about one genre in one post, and then it completely changes the next post. (Although most are just slice-o-life with fantasy elements)

Other interests are: FNAF (previous hyperfixation, kinda comes and goes and may have occasional posts here), Bugsnax (also a previous hyperfixation, mainly when the game came out but not so much any more), Pokemon (not a hyperfixation, I just think they're neat), and... That's pretty much it, that I can think of! I don't tend to get into fandoms much, and I just focus on one thing for years haha

I am also not really looking for other things to be interested in, so please do not take it personally if I do not look at or get into anything suggested to me.

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Content Warnings

As mentioned before, I vent a lot, but I also enjoy drawing some body horror or gore for fun, if the mood strikes! These are tagged simply as '[thing]' for blocking purposes, but please let me know if there are tags I have missed!

Common, will not be tagged: Mild Body Horror (things like extra eyes or limbs, or slightly melty people etc), Scars, Foul Language, Depictions of Panic Attacks/Meltdowns, Use of Caps and Glitched/Zalgo text

Uncommon, will be tagged: Eye Strain, Alcohol Use, Smoking (mostly regular cigarettes, but maybe weed too), Partial Nudity (bare chests mostly), Mildly Suggestive Jokes or Imagery, Emetophobia/Vomit, Blood, Violence, Moderate to Severe Body Horror (like excessive amounts of extra eyes or teeth, beings fused together etc), Guns, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Gore, Implied Cannibalism, Implied Death

Rare, will be tagged, and under a read-more cut: Very Suggestive Jokes or Imagery, On Screen Cannibalism, On Screen Death

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Tags and Other Blogs/Links

My text post/ask tag is 'bean talks too much' and OC tags are 'OC: [OC's name]'. Other tags are for organisation, or just me talking to myself - and I do that a lot.

I am SmallTimidBean pretty much everywhere, although I mainly only post here, my characters to my Toyhou.se or ARPG stuff on my DeviantArt - and I have a Kofi, if you want to send a tip my way! (Not necessary, but very much appreciated if you do!)

I do have a Discord, but I am not comfortable giving it out unless we have interacted at least a few times! If you do find it by chance, please do not just send a friend request, I am unlikely to accept it for my own comfort.

My main blog, and the one that I follow from, is @smalltimidbean-reblogs - mainly just reblogs of art I like, animals or funny posts.

My currently active askblog is @ask-the-totally-real-peppino - an ask blog for Pep (my version of Fake Peppino from Pizza Tower)

I have several other askblogs, and just blogs in general, but I will put them under cut, as most are inactive or plain dead (I just keep them for archival sake, or the rare chance I may return to them)

@ask-the-music-man - Inactive FNAF askblog for Music Man, DJ Music Man and other FNAF characters, might return to it at some point but not right now

@we-bear-wicked-smiles - Inactive FNAF askblog for Nightmare and the other Nightmare animatronics, might also return to it but also not right now

@ask-lionel-ottaviani - Inactive askblog for a monster security guard named Lionel, will probably never return to it bc the group it was a part of disbanded, and I have bad memories with it - however Lionel and his friends show up here and an AU version where he is human feature on the Music Man blog

@bensnax - Inactive Bugsnax blog, was mostly reblogs, but I did intend to post my Grumpus characters there too (I think there's like one post of some of them) - probably will not return any time soon, as Bugsnax is not a major interest right now

@ask-a-genectric - Inactive Pokemon askblog for a Gengar/Manectric hybrid called Lexus, would like to return to it but unlikely

@the-bashful-skuntank - Inactive Pokemon askblog for a Skuntank named Fleur, would also like to return to it but unlikely

@thedailyzangoose - Previously a daily blog for the Pokemon Zangoose, but was revamped into an askblog for a troop of Zangoose characters, inactive and unlikely to return to it

@little-beast-bakery - A suggestion based blog to create little characters for people to adopt, never got off the ground and probably never will

I have a few other blogs that were OC specific askblogs, but I never posted to them, so no reason to link them. I did also have two NSFW blogs that are still technically up, but were nuked after the NSFW ban of 2018 - I am not going to link them for obvious reasons, but if you do somehow find them, keep it to yourself please!

Okay, this is very long, but I think that is it! Thank you for reading if you are down here!

#info #rules #pinned #about #reference

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itslouisan · 2 months ago

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My list of boundaries:

These are my boundaries for ANY social media I'm at this includes Twitch, TikTok, YouTube, here on Tumblr, Instagram and so on, on most platforms (except TikTok) you can find me with the same username, so let's go!

Color coding:

Disclaimer: breaking the no and mods only category will instantly result in ya getting a ban/block.

Sure!

Okay

Moots/friends only

Mods only (twitch/discord)

Thin ice

No.

For tumblr/tiktok:

- sending asks

- dueting my cosplay videos

- spamming like/asks

- sending me messages on DM

- moots only ages 12-20 older or younger than that I'm not really comfortable considering I'm a minor but also a teen (don't wanna talk to kids or much older adults.)

- DNI neo pronuns antis, therian antis, people who bully fandoms such as DSMP, QSMP etc; older than 20 or younger than 12, racists, homophobic, transphobic, WSS (don't support Wilbur's actions, I like his character.), basically problematic people and antis from fandoms I'm on :b

- NSFW topics (I'm a minor and ace)

- asking for mooting is fine after we interact a bit

- asking for oc info etc

For twitch:

- speaking in another language that isn't english or Portuguese

- self-promo

- ask for MY discord or chatters discord (just enter the server but don't get personal invites)

- sending links for discord servers or anything else

- asking me personal questions or venting in chat

- spamming messages so I read them

- raid suggestions by the end of the stream

- collab (talk to me in advance, like I'm collabing with two streamers in my subathon but we discussed it first.)

- practice internet safety, don't doxx yourself on my chat or I'll ban ya

- stopping by as a Tumblr mootie/tiktok friend

Personal boundaries:

- yeah I do show my face on stream and post cosplay videos and photos, but that doesn't give you the right to make comments suggestive, negative and so on in my appearance, also if you do find kid photos of me via family accounts or something, DON'T post them

- nicknames

- if you find my family or friends accounts don't interact or try to find things about me through them.

- flirting or asking my relationship status

- asking for discord

- venting

For ocs/art/writing etc:

- no NSFW of my ocs or novel characters. Some of them are based on real people.

- fanfics of novel characters (as long as SFW)

- making your own character design/redesign of my novel characters (I'll link a appearance description post once I finish it)

- fanart

- using my art as icons/on posts etc (no need for credit but don't say you made it)

I'll update this as I see fit :b I should probably update my fixed post too :v

#silly #writing #about me #boundaries #sfw interaction only #about ocs #small streamer #twitch #my socials #info about me

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stellarknightz · 2 years ago

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Oh boy a pinned info post !

Hi! You can call me Val for short, If you’re interested in knowing more about me here’s my carrd.

I’m into Cookie Run, THSC, Genshin, and a number of other games so there’s bound to be more fanart here. However I mostly draw my sona when I’m stuck in a block (which is most of the time) so art will be produced rather slow…

My ask box is open for small doodle requests or ideas, and of course any questions you might have for me. I love hearing headcanons about different characters too so feel free to share those there too! Can’t promise all requests will be fulfilled though.

Art cannot be reposted, however can be used in edits or profile icons as long as credit is somewhere! Feel free to credit any of my social media (what I have is listed in my carrd.)

My main blog is @stellyknight

Thanks for stopping by!

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#pinned post #I need to update my carrd LMAO

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quinnonimp · 2 years ago

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📚 PINNED POST

hi !!!!!!!!!!! this is my tumblr !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ill sometimes post art i think is good enough to post ^_^ currently, its mostly limbus company & maybe splatoon !

im a brazilian-swede, so feel free to speak to me in portuguese, swedish, & spanish too ✌️

this pinned includes my socials, tags, and faqs. a recommended read if youre interested in my blog

SOCIALS

i am most active on tumblr but.. instagram 🞲 bluesky 🞲 artfight

NOTABLE TAGS

#tumblrimp :: all my posts

#art :: all my art posts

#oc :: fandom & original oc-related posts

#mailbox :: answered asks

#team cablecore :: my blorbos

#luckys art info :: resources & art questions

OC-SPECIFIC TAGS

#oc: [name] :: the character

#universe: [name] :: what setting theyre in

#team [name] :: splatoon oc teams

#au: [name] :: for alternate universes i made

FAQ / INFO

can i use your art for my icon/header/edit?

-> yea course, so long you give credit! however if its of an oc, i would prefer you ask for permission

what brush/program/tablet do you use?

-> my main tool is an ipad but i still love my wacom. flip flopping between csp, mspaint, & magma; sometimes sketching on procreate but i dislike it too much to color anything on it (minecraft modern life mod canvas >>>>>>>> procreate)

im very partial to aliased brushes but use watercolor-like ones to paint these days. my style & the brushes i use change for basically every drawing, typically using the brushes ive made since i find that way the most comfortable way for me. unfortunately since i basically never post these brushes i dont have anything more to share

are your commissions open?

-> not anytime soon </3 but if you request a character from a piece of media i like via my inbox i might draw them

are you ok with asks? what kind?

-> totes! idc what you send in my inbox. ask me about my ocs or blorbos or art or theories or old art or me or something

can i make a fic/fanart/etc out of this?

-> YES YES OF COURSE. fan work of anything ive made (that it be my ocs, interpretations of canon designs, aus ive made, etc) absolutely fuels me and honestly makes me create more of that. gets me super giddy so its always welcome! its like the highest form of flattery. please tag me in it or send an ask so i can see ^_^

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wolfstar-in-color · 3 years ago

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July Creator Spotlight: Desicosplay

Hello, lovely people, and welcome to our second creator spotlight!

Each month, we will highlight a different creator in our lovely fandom who features diverse characterizations of Sirius and/or Remus. We will invite you to get to know them better through questions and answers, Fandom Discourse(tm), and a featured prompt created by our guest.

For our second spotlight, we are absolutely honoured to having the presence of @desicosplay, an incredible cosplayer and writer that if you don’t follow, you should do right away. They’ve gifted us with many, many amazing gifsets, a lot of them about Sirius. Below you’ll see a little snippet of the interview and Mastani’s prompt. Under the cut you’ll be able to read the full interview. Don’t forget to share and interact with this post, and if you have anyone you’d like to recommend for a spotlight, shoot us an ask!

“Diversity means celebration. So in fan spaces, that means actively seeking out creators that you might otherwise miss. It means trying out new perspectives, or listening to new perspectives on your favorite characters. It means standing with your peers, being loud in your love and support of them. I’m not saying you have to reblog or comment on everything. Diversity is not just visual, it’s also mental. Diversity needs to be intentional and active, even if that takes place just in your head.”

Mastani’s prompt: Muggle AU! Sirius and Remus at Harry’s sporting event!

Hi! I’m Mastani, she/they/he pronouns, I’m a 1.5/2nd Generation Indian-American, and I cosplay and write fanfiction!

Q: How did you start creating in the fandom? What did you wish to bring into the fandom?

A: Almost five years ago, Laina @ohtheclevernessofme1972 convinced me to join the HPRP community. She and everyone else were so supportive of my desire to bring my culture and background to the Harry Potter characters. Eventually, I also started writing fanfiction again!

Q: What things about s/r as characters or in their relationship inspire you to create around them?

A: I think that they are very complex characters that really demonstrate how external factors affect your life, whether you like it or not. Their relationship, whether platonic, romantic, or anything in-between or outside, is also so fascinating in its potential to evolve. Wolfstar is constantly changing, and all its interpretations are totally feasible to imagine.

Q: What things would you like to highlight about the Wolfstar fandom and your experience in it?

A: My main dips into the fandom are when I cosplay Sirius, and every time, I feel so much love. The fandom is so open to any interpretations of Sirius, and it does wonders to make someone feel accepted.

Q: What type of content do you wish you saw more in the fandom?

A: This is entirely self-indulgent, but Godfather/Uncle!Sirius just make me feel so warm inside. There’s a love inside Sirius that only gets touched upon inside the books. AUs where he gets to interact with Harry as a child or teen outside the pressure of a war are just so calming and warming.

Q: What is your favourite wolfstar fancontent (fic/fanart/gifset/etc) and how does it inspire you?

A: Y’all, I have so many Wolfstar fics saved that are just stunning and several that are comfort fics. I think the biggest takeaway from all of them is the comfort the boys find in each other. All of them are AUs, and I’m inspired to depict my Wolfstar as something kind, gentle, and communicative.

Q: Which of your own identities inform your creative processes? How has that process been for you?

A: All of them! But more specifically, my racial background informs most of my process. My process is… Sporadic, to say the least. However, when I do get struck with an idea, I have to create it almost instantly. One example, Wolfstar-related, is that my Sirius cosplay has long hair, half-up in a bun. I feel like desi!Sirius would celebrate his heritage by growing his hair long, which also is a nice, “screw you,” to societal and familial constraints.

Q: What advice do you have for other content creators with diverse backgrounds in the fandom? What would you say to people that might feel they don’t have the “right” history/experience/characteristics to participate in the creation of content related to Wolfstar?

A: think the best advice for participation I have comes from the iconic Jay @siriussly-serious, Rest in Power. “Go. Get in. Dive in. Fucking head first. Fuck that, cannonball your butt right in there and make a damn splash…” There is no, “right,” history/experience/background. These characters are fictional, but they can reflect our world. Our world is not homogenous. So why should fictional worlds and characters be that way? These stories are ours, and we shape them to be whatever we want them to be. If you want to create, that’s all the prerequisite you need.

Q: How could we build a more diverse fandom?

A: This blog is a great example of how to build a diverse fandom. Celebrating creators with diverse backgrounds and being loudly supportive of them makes us want to stay. Finding communities that celebrate, not just accept, can make a world of difference. So, raise your voice and love on your favorite creators.

Q: What’s your favourite thing to modify in Sirius’s or Remus’s characterizations to bring new perspectives to them?

A: I’m a huge communicator, so improving character communication is something I love to do. I like to create fluff, and this change lets me focus on the gentler parts of Sirius and Remus, or the parts that need some love, e.g. mental health. It also lets me flesh out their senses of humor more, like their dislike of cats (in my headcanons).

Q: What does diversity mean to you? What does that encompass in fanish spaces?

A: Diversity means celebration. So in fan spaces, that means actively seeking out creators that you might otherwise miss. It means trying out new perspectives, or listening to new perspectives on your favorite characters. It means standing with your peers, being loud in your love and support of them. I’m not saying you have to reblog or comment on everything. Diversity is not just visual, it’s also mental. Diversity needs to be intentional and active, even if that takes place just in your head.

Q: What are your ideas about the notions of culture and ethnicity? How do you relate to those notions?

A: I find culture and ethnicity to overlap in many ways, as they both pertain to group characteristics. I’m not an anthropologist, so I don’t know the detailed differences between the two. However, in my quick searches, it feels, to me, that culture is a bit broader and ethnicity is more geographic. So, I’m culturally Indian-American and ethnically Gujarati Indian (Gujarat is the state in India). I find these notions to be helpful when defining and describing my experiences. For example, among desis (and other brown folks), saying I’m generation 1.5/2 tells them that I straddle American/Western and Indian culture. If I tell another Indian that I’m Gujarati, they instantly know the kind of foods I grew up with and the language my parents speak. It’s a streamlined way of explaining my experiences, and as a science brained person, it makes life easier for me.

Q: Is there a page/organization/institution you would recommend for fans to search/read when it comes to learning about diversity?

A: With the tool that is social media, there are so many activists and creators that are willing and able to teach about diversity. On my page, I keep a page titled, “Resources for Justice.” This page has a wide variety of social justice resources on it. Google is great, but you also want to cross-check your sources. However, I feel like the best way to learn is to ask questions. Do so respectfully and ensure the person you’re asking has the energy/time/compensation to answer. Especially if you’ve done some research ahead of time, I find that many folks are willing to have a discussion - but again, check with the person first. Trust is paramount in these conversations.

Q: Is there a project/organization that you want to hype?

A: Oh, I could name so many. However, the ones I want to shout out here are Chrysalis - Gender Identity Matters and Raze Collective. As many of you know, Jay @siriussly-serious passed away recently, and in his name, we’re promoting/donating to these charities. Chrysalis - GIM offers online and in-person mental health support for trans and nonbinary people in his area and Raze Collective supports LGBTQIA+ performers. Ami @ami-acts and a few others (I apologize for not remembering exactly who - I’ll message the mods if I remember/please add on if you know) organized this. Links are below.

Donate to Chrysalis - GIM here.

Donate to Raze Collective here.

Q: Leave us with a quote or work of art that always inspires you

A: Is it too cheesy to say all of our fandom? To be totally honest, that’s who/what inspires me most of all. It’s a work of art, all the people in it make our fandom a work of art!

#creator spotlight #desicosplay #cosplayer #writer #hp fandom #HPRP

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kiki-shortsnout · 4 years ago

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Tag game

I was tagged by @vindemiatrix-moonpies, thanks for the tag in the tag game!

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1. why did you choose your url?

Well, Kiki is my nickname and Shortsnout is my AO3 username so I wanted something people could recognise me by, I guess? Kiki has been one of my nicknames since I was small and Shortsnout has been my pen name on fanfiction for literally years.

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

Nope, I can barely make this one work thanks.

3. how long have you been on Tumblr?

Erm….about 4 or 5 months I think and I still find it really confusing and overwhelming to use!

4. do you have a queue tag?

See above, I literally had to look up what that is…and no, I don’t know how to queue things and I don’t think I’d have the time to do it, I prefer posting things in real-time if that makes sense?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Honestly, because there are commenters on my stories that I wanted to reach out too that I realised weren’t on Twitter and because I wanted to connect with said people and others in fandom.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It was a commission based on me (YES REAL LIFE ME!) so it was a way of being me on social media while not being me, I guess, plus the picture is lovely.

7. why did you choose your header?

It matched my Twitter one and because I like flowers, there’s also a picture of a writing book and pen in the background but I don’t think you can see that.

8. what's your post with the most notes?

The post with Tether’s summary and fanart from GipsieMoon

9. how many mutuals do you have?

Quite a few I think.........I hope.......

10. how many followers do you have?

Actually one of the reasons I like Tumblr is because it doesn’t list followers, but I have a few.

11. how many people do you follow?

12. have you ever made a shit post?

I think pretty much all of them are rubbish if I’m honest

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I usually check once or twice, in the morning during work and again in the evening, if someone leaves an ask I usually try and read it pretty fast, I don’t like leaving people waiting if I can help it.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another lot once? who won?

Nope, haven’t argued with anyone yet.

15. how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

I don’t think I’ve actually seen any ‘reblog this’ posts

16. do you like tag games?

I do, I like interacting with people and getting to know them and them me.

17. do you like ask games?

I do! I love being asked things, someone once said to me they were too scared to ask me a writing question and I was completely shocked by it. Honestly, I’m nice I promise! But yes, I like ask games!

18. which of your mutual do you think is Tumblr famous?

I think I have a few. @descaladumidera @wspaceblog @why-the-face @amethyst-noir @atypical-snowman are the ones who spring to mind about being fandom famous, there are probably loads more, please don’t take it personally, I’ve only been on Tumblr and part of the online fandom for about a year!

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Hmm not a crush, but I’ve got a few people I care a lot about.

20. tags?

@descaladumidera @amethyst-noir @atypical-snowman @why-the-face @renlybaratheon-tyrell @chocopiggy @lafourmii20 @wspaceblog @third-siren @iron-mum

#tag game #more about me

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skrltwtch · 4 years ago

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Muse

Prompt 1: Just like some people sleep-walk, you tend to paint or draw while in your transformed state because it calms you down. And apparently, people really like your art.

Prompt 2: A is a popular artist, and B messages them without thinking one day. They didn’t expect to become friends, and they definitely didn’t expect to become more. Person B just felt that connection between the two of them.

Prompt 3: A/Werewolf has a tendency to curl like a dog in front of the fireplace a lot (usually in their werewolf form, but it’s not uncommon for them to do it as a human). (Sources in master list)

Word count: 3,721 words

Genre: Fluff, romance, supernatural

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I put up with the long commute to and fro between home and work for two reasons, and two reasons alone: the decent rent for a place with a picturesque view and that catered to my monthly needs, and the glut of time to catch up on my reading. And by ‘reading’, I meant ‘scrolling through the handful of social media feeds that survived my latest cull of shit that was taking up my time and storage space unnecessarily, and occasionally attempting (and failing) to pay attention to my Kindle’. Hey, at least I was aware I had a problem …?

Instagram was my first hit of the day. I flicked past images of makeup, friends in situations I wouldn’t be finding myself in anytime soon, and cute animals. The occasional meme and comic draw out an exhalation of air from my nostrils. I marvelled at artwork and photography, half wishing I were half as good as the people I followed and admired, half chiding myself for not practising either enough and losing interest quicker than I’d dropped money on new equipment in the name of my new endeavours. You could say one of my hobbies, the ones I’d been consistent about, was amassing gadgets obtained to indulge my whims and fancies.

My heart skipped a beat — or was it the pothole the bus went over? — when I came across a new post by George. I didn’t know him personally to refer to him by his first name like that, but hadn’t social media broken down boundaries between people, making them seem closer to each other than they really were? He was an illustrator whose work I chanced upon on Reddit a while back. His portfolio was a patchwork of subjects, often portraits, rendered mostly in traditional media like watercolour and oil paint. He sometimes shook things up with abstract, contemplative pieces. He had something for almost everyone. For me, it was his attractive, angular yet distinctive faces and statuesque figures, use of watercolour, and versatility: one piece could be superhero fanart, followed by a collection of moody, atmospheric paintings of the English landscape with some fantastical additions.

It also helped that he seemed to be a nice, chill person, and a handsome one at that, too, based on the smattering of pictures he had of himself on his feed. Please, let me imagine a world in which someone as ideal as him — or what I knew about him — wasn’t beholden to anyone for a moment.

His latest post was a drippy bust of a snarling wolf with full moons for eyes. The caption simply read: ‘Mood.’ I smirked as I hit the like button. Did I mention that he drew wolves a lot as well? Sometimes his wolves were feral; sometimes they were humanoid, but still wild. The latter featured heavily in his conceptual works, albeit as hazy, indistinct forms, like blurry photographs. In any case, I liked that he had a fondness for wolves and werewolves, as the constant presence of the full moon in art of the latter would suggest. Anyone who liked wolves was a-okay in my book. Anyone who liked werewolves was even more so. Because.

An interrupted connection between my brain and my reflexes led me to visit his profile. Instead of returning to my feed, my thumb gravitated toward the message button at the top of the screen. Not a single cell in my body resisted this turn of events despite the restored connection. Oh, what the hell. Why not? Like, what were the chances he’d read my message? He had tens of thousands of followers, a likely considerable chunk of them being bots aside. He must receive DMs every other minute. I’d be another sycophant in his sea of fans. Or he’d see my homely mug and locked profile, and he’d think I was driven to add to his never-ending count of unread messages simply out of misguided thirst.

The beauty of the Internet was that it made ‘out of sight, out of mind’ fairly easy to put into practice.

I got the following out of my system and into his inbox: ’Hi! Hope you’re doing well. I’ve been following your Instagram for a while, and your latest post just made me want to say your art is amazing. (I can totally identify with the sentiment behind it.) I especially love your more abstract pieces. There’s something so … raw about them. And I like that you seem to like wolves a lot, too. They’re beautiful animals, and your art really captures that about them. Anyway, keep up the great work! Take care.’

I exited Instagram, not caring about the rest of my feed anymore and not wanting to feel like I was stalking my notifications for something that’d never come. My phone buzzed with several notifications as I went down my Reddit homepage. I swiped away the banners with green icons that pelted the top of my screen. Those could wait. What couldn’t were the banners stating that I had a new message and a new follower request from —

‘Oh, my God!’ I said, loudly enough for me to hear my own voice above my music (the chorus of Walk the Moon’s ‘Shut Up and Dance’ at half of maximum volume, so … loud). Not one soul on this lightly populated bus acknowledged my exclamation — not even the woman sitting next to me. (Come on, lady, the front was mostly empty.) Thank God for technology making hermits of us all. Or my sudden outburst paled in comparison to the shit that could happen and had happened on public transport. When you took long journeys as I did every day, you’d see some real shit in due time, too.

I launched Instagram for the second time this morning (stop judging, Screen Time) and the first time ever with trembling hands. The notifications were real. I approved his request first. My mind raced to recollect anything on my profile that might make him regret his decision to let my piddling photos of food, myself, my cat, and random junk take up precious space on his feed. Nope, couldn’t think about that now, because I was now staring at an actual, honest-to-God message from George:

’Hey! Thanks for reaching out, and thank you for your kind comments. They mean a lot to me, especially what you said about my experimental stuff and wolves. They are stunning creatures, aren’t they? And yeah, I drew that last picture after a particularly rough night. You could call it a self-portrait of sorts, I suppose.’

I snorted. Change the fur colour and make the eyes normal, and it was a portrait of myself every full moon. Okay, not something I could tell someone I just met, let alone a popular artist on the Internet …

Before I could recover from the shock that my inbox held an actual, honest-to-God message from George Holden (that was his last name — the oxygen made it to my brain for me to remember that he had his last name on his profile), he sent another one: ’Anyway, how are you? I took a look at your profile, and it looks like we have quite a number of things in common.’

What, really? No way. Was it the lashings of sweet treats I subjected my stomach to every weekend? The horror and science fiction titles, celebrity memoirs, and comics, sometimes paired with an iced coffee at either a café I put down roots for the afternoon or the one-bedroom house in Waltham Forest I called home, I showcased to put forth some form of air of intellectualism? The cross-stitch projects featuring memes and popular culture icons? His profile was quite barren of anything that could provide insight into what else he enjoyed doing besides his art. Which, hey, was perfectly fine: no one was obligated to share their personal life online.

I replied, ’I’m fine, thank you. I’m on my way to work. Favourite part of my day, really. And really? Like what?’

Most of my notifications that day were from him.

✦✧✦✧

I was a bustling hub of activity in my seat: A sip of my drink. A shake of my knee. A lift of my phone. A turn of my neck. A shift of my weight from one butt cheek to the other. I was certain I was generating enough electricity to power a lightbulb in five-second intervals. I couldn’t help it. I was so, so excited — and so, so nervous. This was my and George’s first time meeting each other in person. There’d be no screen between us. Actually, what difference would that make? We’d been talking to each other for months, either through text or video calls, the latter more common in the weeks leading up to today. We’d seen each other even on our ‘I’ll put on a clean shirt, brush my hair, and hope for the best’ days. What could either one of us do in person that would irrevocably alter our friendship for the worse? Well …

The sound of someone entering the café stopped me from starting on a list of things that I could do to fuck things up. I looked up, probably the seventh time I did so in the last ten minutes. This was on me. I grossly overestimated the amount of time it’d take me to get somewhere as usual; a natural by-product of living far from the city. Seventh — probably — time was the charm: it was George — and right on the dot, too. His punctuality added to his attractiveness, which had already gone through the roof and was heading straight into the stratosphere. I bit my lip to suppress any unfortunate exclamations. He was a friend, Evelyn … just a friend, and I had no illusions otherwise.

I called out to him. He waved at me and joined me at the table I picked out for us. And the second our eyes met, devoid of any barrier between us, everything about him — and everything about us — clicked.

He was just like me.

And I was just like him.

And he was as astonished about it as I was, going by the long silence that passed between us, a first since we got to know each other.

‘Hi! Oh, my God, it’s so good to finally meet you!’ I said with a grin to break the tension. He broke out into a smile, his posture relaxing. Success. Should I go in for a handshake? No, that’d be too stuffy for a months-old friendship. A hug? No, that’d be too intimate for a months-old friendship, and an online one, too, no less. Was it obvious this was my first time meeting someone I met online?

‘It’s good to meet you, too,’ he said, his expression of cheer unabating. ‘I’m going to get myself a drink first, and then we can shoot the shit.’ His smile turned into a grin. ‘Do you want anything? My treat,’ he added as he spotted me reaching for my wallet.

‘I was thinking a red velvet muffin, please.’ I didn’t know why I didn’t get one earlier. ‘Thank you.’

‘No problem. I’ll be right back.’

As he left, my nerves turned into happiness that I met another werewolf. It was rare to meet other werewolves just about anywhere. What were the odds that two werewolves, one of whom was Internet-famous, would become friends because the other one had a brain fart one morning to send a message to the Internet-famous one? You couldn’t make this shit up. In all the years I’d been a werewolf, George was the first one I knew. I didn’t even know the one that turned me. I got bitten one night, and that was my life changed forever. I figured everything out on my own — I had to. And my puny social network of werewolves made sense: this wasn’t exactly the kind of thing anyone would advertise about themselves.

Once George settled down and courtesies were out of the way, the first thing out of his mouth was ‘I never thought I’d meet another one like me’.

I moved my chair closer to him so that we could speak at length about what we were without the fear of being overheard. ‘Me neither.’ Then it hit me, and I quickly said, ‘It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it, though.’ Personally, I was okay with what I was. No existential dread here, contrary to what one might expect of a werewolf. It happened. I learnt to manage it in a way that made it not have any kind of significant impact on my life. I refused to let it define me. And honestly, I lived for particularly bad days that coincided with full moons.

‘Are you kidding me?’ His face lit up with boyish glee. ‘I’ve been waiting for this day for so long! As in, us meeting up in person for the first time and me getting to know another werewolf. Two birds, one stone: the only kind of killing I endorse. And I’m so fucking chuffed it’s you. I always felt like I could talk to you about anything, and now that really, really means anything.’ It was his turn to be able to power a light bulb, but in twenty-second intervals this time.

‘Same. How were you turned?’

‘I was bitten during a camping trip with friends a couple of years back. You?’

‘Secondary school. I was walking home from the library.’

‘Shit, that was some time ago, huh?’

‘Almost half my life a werewolf.’

‘Do you know the werewolf that did it?’

‘Nope. How about you?’

He shook his head. ‘Nah. Kind of sucks, doesn’t it, that you’ll never get to know the person who’s changed your life so … deeply? They won’t remember either that they turned someone. If only having kids was like that, yeah? Absolutely no sense of responsibility whatsoever.’ He gave his teaspoon a lazy twirl, causing a faint plume of milk to rise and sink into the dark, bittersweet depths from whence it came. ‘I struggled with what I’d become the first couple of months. The transformations were one thing.’ Oh, yeah. ‘I felt … grotesque. God, the amount of self-pity, like, why was I the only one who had to go through this every month when there were four other guys ripe for the picking? So, I decided to start incorporating wolves in my art to get to know and reclaim that part of me. I didn’t want to see it as something ugly. I mean, you get to experience a kind of rebirth every month. That’s extraordinary if you think about it. And I told myself that like myself, the wolf didn’t ask to be born. Ha, ha. Millennial humour. Anyway. Then the most miraculous thing happened one full moon: I woke up next to a coherent painting that wasn’t there the night before.’

‘Oh, my God.’

‘Right? My more artsy stuff? The ones I hate coming up with captions for? Almost all done while I was transformed. I’d started some of my art — bet you can’t guess which one — on full moons, too, and I finished them after I changed back. It’s as if the wolf knew we were now cool with each other.’ He took a big chunk out of his apple crumble and jammed it into his mouth. ‘Sorry if that sounded like spiritual woo-woo. I’ve been wanting to tell someone about this forever.’ Crumbs fell out of his mouth as he spoke. ‘Shit, I’m such an’ — he shot me an impish look as he swallowed — ‘animal, aren’t I? Fuck, I can make stupid references like that now, and someone would get it!’

I laughed. He was such a dork. ‘It’s not “spiritual woo-woo”. It’s amazing. How is that even possible?’

‘I have no idea.’ He held out his hands in front of him. ‘So thankful we get to keep our hands and not have them turn into paws.’ He waggled his thumbs. ‘Fuck, yeah, opposable thumbs. And I want to say it’s like when artists get high and make stuff. I do know artists who do that, and hey, no judgment. To them, I do the same thing, too.’

‘And here I am, feeling accomplished whenever I make it through another full moon without waking up in a trashed place. Seriously, that’s amazing.’

‘I think that’s what’s keeping me from losing it while transformed. I was surprised people liked those pieces when I started posting them, considering they’re such far departures from what I usually post.’

‘That explains why they’re so … visceral.’

‘Yeah? I figure you’d appreciate them even more now.’ He smirked. ‘And you know, no one really talks about my wolf art, and especially my werewolf pieces. Maybe if I didn’t make them blurry and made them more explicit …’ Oh, he’d get a different breed of followers altogether. ‘But that’s fine. I don’t want my lycanthropy to define me and my work. It’s just a part of who I am.’

‘My turn to say something possibly corny: I like your wolf art because … they make me feel seen, because they’re drawn by you.’

He put a hand on his chest. ‘That’s not corny. I’m happy my art makes you feel that way. You know I don’t care about the likes or comments. It just so happens I like drawing things that make me get likes and comments.’ He pushed his plate toward me and motioned at me with his fork to try some of his apple crumble. I obliged him. ‘Did you ever suspect anything? Not that, you know, I purposely drew wolves and werewolves as a kind of signal for other werewolves to pick up on. That’d be giving me way too much credit.’

‘No, I just thought you like wolves a lot.’

‘Same here. What you said about wolves being beautiful creatures when you messaged me the first time … that made me feel something, too.’

‘Then I’m very glad we got to be friends,’ I said. Born from the same blip in brain activity that set us on this path, my hand found itself on top of his. His touch had a pleasant, almost familiar heat to it.

‘Me too.’ He turned his hand over and clasped mine.

‘I have an idea,’ I said, mostly to distract myself from how right this felt. ‘Do you want to meet on the next full moon?’

‘Sure. I can’t wait to see what kind of inspiration will strike with another werewolf around.’

‘Your place, then?’

He nodded. ‘Unless you’re cool with me possibly trashing your place with paint and stuff. That hasn’t happened before, but who knows? What if wolf-me doesn’t like change?’

I stared at him in disbelief.

‘I can’t help it. You have no idea what kind of beast this has unleashed. Oops.’

We sat and talked in the café the entire afternoon; we took turns treating each other to food and drinks to justify our occupancy. Our conversation moved on to other topics besides the one special, biggest thing we had in common. Just like we didn’t want it to define who we were as people, we made a promise to each other, and we did so over a strawberry custard tart, that we wouldn’t let it become the foundation of our friendship from this point on. It’d be unfair to the moments we shared before this. We were friends because we cared about each other, we brought out the best in each other, we could truly be ourselves around each other, and, honestly, I didn’t think anyone else would have the patience for his goofy in-jokes.

✦✧✦✧

I lay in front of the fireplace, rejoicing in the warmth it offered on this cool night, while George was working on his newest painting. Since getting to know each other in these forms, we’d been able to exercise better control. For me, that meant greater peace of mind; for him, that meant a more refined grasp of his artistic sensibilities. As with much about our condition, we didn’t question this. What could possibly be a drawback of us spending more time in each other’s company? I now understood why animals curled up by a fire was a common sight in media and real life, too. Wait, what if this, and not George’s presence, was what I’d been missing all my life?

My tail wagging like a fiend when I felt his breath on my skin begged to differ. I licked his face. He gently parted my lips and slid his tongue onto mine. Our tongues engaged each other in a playful scuffle; the fire crackling in the background could only dream of coming close to causing the rise in temperature in the pit of my stomach. The tussle between our tongues didn’t get to turn into something more: he’d had a long night. I nuzzled him to convey reassurance. He lay down beside me and wrapped his arms around me, his hold firm yet tender. We fell asleep like this, keeping each other warm long even after the fire had died out.

We wished each other a good morning with a kiss — no, two kisses, and we got ourselves ready for the day. As we were having breakfast, George piped up, ‘Do you want to see what I painted last night, love? I’m really proud of it, and I think you’d love it, too.’

I nodded excitedly, my mouth too full of scrambled egg to speak.

He returned as quickly as he’d left the table. His hands held on to a painting … of me curled up by the fire last night. The figure was the clearest, most detailed he’d ever done; the lighting was phenomenal. ‘It’s beautiful,’ I said, tearing up a little, frankly. ‘I love it. It’s going to look so good in our new place’, along with the recent paintings he’d made of a similar nature. He’d come so far from the gauzy forms that once populated his attempts at capturing his — our — condition on canvas.

‘Of course, when I have the most stunning model.’ He gave me a peck on the cheek. ‘I love you, my muse, my mate.’

#exophilia #terato #werewolf #monster love #monster romance #mine #fun fact #I wrote this story in early october last year #and it's kind of truth in television for me now

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oh-boleyn · 5 years ago

Text

katherine / infamy

words: 4880, one shot, language: english

anne / jane / katherine / catherine

TW: there are suicidal thoughts, slutshaming, victim guilt, minor ways of self harm, nightmares and some other things.

this turned to be a character study rather to any other thing but oh well, it's done

the commentary between scenes are things I got from internet about Katherine Howard.

Katherine Howard was just an attention seeker.

(…)

When they first arrived at the twenty-one century, Katherine Howard felt alone. It was a whole new world; one she didn’t have a clue of what was it about. Didn’t even have the advantage of knowing other women, except for Anna of Cleves, the only one she met during her short time as queen when they shared a dance, but nothing more.

The rest of them were just rumours while she was in court. Names nobody dared to say. Histories without faces, blurry memories. All of them carried themselves as queens. All of them except her, who was just a frightened nobody in the middle of five of the most powerful and celebre queens.

(…)

Katherine Howard was a silly flirt who actually did sleep around even after she’d married the king.

(…)

They had all been thrown into a small house. With thin walls, two bedrooms, loud queens and just one bathroom. She shared room with Anna of Cleves, this royal Germany queen who was the second divorcee, and Anne Boleyn.

A cousin she never really had the chance to meet, since Henry decapitated her when Katherine was still young. Anne Boleyn, her famous, notorious cousin, a mystery to this new world. Anne was perfect, smart, pretty, even her reincarnated version had the long dark brown hair and big curious eyes. She knew about politics, debate, could talk fluently in English and French.

In the new world, Anne Boleyn was an icon. A notorious woman who got beheaded because of her opinions and incapacity of keeping quiet was something admirable today, and everyone loved her, as the French court once did.

The opinion about Katherine was not the same. Not then, and not now. She was a traitor before, and now she was a naïve who couldn’t even save her own life. A foolish, provocative girl who warmed her way into the king’s bed, and other beds too. She didn’t have a legacy, didn’t left anything to be remembered.

(…)

Katherine Howard: Whore or Victim?

(…)

Money and finances were not something she was interested. She wasn’t good with numbers, Francis always said that. About how she was so lucky to be so pretty, or else nobody would want her as a secretary. With the years she had been discouraged to keep trying, so she just stopped.

Not every woman had been made to be good with it. Katherine considered herself more of a pretty face, rather than someone with a great intellect. It felt shallow, now more than ever. Her life was just like that, being a pretty face, smile, conceal emotions. She was raised by her step-grandmother to please. Emotion were not needed when trying to grant pleasure to someone else.

The other queens weren’t like her. And maybe that’s why they were so worried about making money or getting jobs.

The great salvation came by Catherine’s hand. Catherine Parr, not Aragon. Rewrite their histories, if everyone could make money out of it, why not them? It could be a way to reclaim what happened to them, set the record straight, be view as the real queens they were, not just six who banged the same guy.

(…)

Katherine Howard – The Material Girl?

(…)

“Catherine, almost moved into a nunnery, and then not.” Her voice sounded snob, trying to mock the other queen. “That could almost be really hard for you.” She concluded with a fake pout.

Her heart was beating faster every second. She was never good at arts.

Even when trying to please Manox, her first music teacher, he always wanted more. She could always be better, greater. It was never enough, no matter how high her voice went while singing, or how many times she practiced dancing, or how much her hand aches after playing one instrument for hours, she was not enough.

Not enough like the air in her lungs while performing. The rest of the group were natural, delivering their lines perfect, playing with the silences making it enjoyable and funny. But she wasn’t like that, she talked way too fast, pronounced words unintelligible and forgot that she had talk.

The musical, a fake competition, didn’t help her. It didn’t bring her release, or peace. Katherine felt always numb, there was no connection between what she was doing and her own story. Her past life just felt like a numb blurry dream.

(…)

Katherine Howard, a slut 17-year-old queen who was beheaded for being a slut!

(…)

It came to Katherine attention how much Catherine (of Aragon) hugged Catherine (Parr). They were usually together, helping or making each other’s hair and make-up. She knew Cathy was Catherine’s goddaughter, but the physical affection takes her by surprise anyway.

The idea of touch being something soft, delicate was so out of her range. Her father was bed-ridden and her mother died while she was young. After that everyone was rough. For the Duchess, touch was only a way of punishment. Katherine sometimes saw the ghost of bruises she would have when she didn’t behave like a lady, when her feelings were shown.

Touching was never something appreciated after that.

(…)

Manipulative, flirty seductress.

(…)

The show was doing well, so well that they bought a new house.

New is a way to say, because it’s old, really old. It needs to be fix, the stairs crack, it is too cold, and there are leaks in the bathroom. But it’s bigger, and each one of them get a room or something like that. Catherine Parr takes the basement, and Anne takes the attic. Anna decides to stay on the only bedroom that is on the first floor. And now Katherine is stuck between Aragon and Seymour.

The room feels impersonal, and Katherine is going crazy trying to make it feel more like her. She paints it, buys a carpet, a desk. When all of it fails, she starts pinning fanart to her wall, photos with Anne and Anna, tickets of plays and movies they attended. She is trying to make new memories but it doesn’t work, it feels like she is just pretending. As if she stole a life. It feels numb and impersonal.

An empty room could be a good metaphor for an empty brain. God knows she had never been bright.

(…)

The Tudors Season 3 episode guide says “As Henry presses for an end to his new marriage, a new sexual conquest emerges – young prostitute Katherine Howard”

(…)

“Kitty, I bought new chokers.” Anne says one day, entering her room.

Katherine doesn’t like buying new necklaces or chokers, maybe because she feels them dreadful. Still she wears them every day. The scar around her neck is a darker colour than her skin, resulting in a brownish tone to it. It looks grotesque. Internet, that magic source of information calls is a hypertrophic scar, thick and raised injured skin.

“Great.” She responds, smiling.

“I thought you might like the pink ones, after all you wear a lot of pink.” She started passing Katherine pieces of electric and baby pink fabric.

“And you wear a lot of green.”

“What can I say? It’s my brand.”

“Are you okay, Annie?” Katherine asks when she notices Anne does not have her usual energy.

“Yes, just Aragon getting on my nerves.” Boleyn sits on her bed. “I’m sure she hates me. It’s not news, we been knew for like, I don’t know, five hundred years. But I hoped it would change.”

“I’m sure she hates me too.”

“Why would you say that KitKat?” Anne frowns. “Did she say something to you?”

“No, but I’m sure she is not too fond of me. Mary wasn’t.”

The look in her cousin’s face does something to her stomach, twisting it. Anne loves her, and Kat knows she does. She uses pet names with her, and calls her Kit, or Kitty or variations of it. Anne tries to protect her. But Katherine knows she doesn’t deserve any of it. Why would she?

Even when she is trying her best, Katherine can’t love Anne back that easily. It doesn’t come natural to her. Giving her love to someone never resulted in anything good. Honestly, it resulted in death. She feels guilty about not reciprocating, but it’s the best way to keep the other queen safe.

“I love this pink.” She tries to change the conversation.

(…)

Michael Hirst describes her as a “Lolita figure”.

(…)

Not even in court, where nothing was private, and people would get into anyone’s problems, people had so much opinions. Nowadays, with social media and phones, everybody had a word. Parr said something about it, about Warhol and how we imposed the new “five minutes of fame”. Social media helped to convey that.

While she was dead, people made up their minds about her. It would be nice to say that they found her just to be someone trying their best, but for the most part it wasn’t. They described her as this femme fatale. A sexually active, young woman, who seduced a whole court.

Five hundred years later, she was still nothing more than a common harlot.

The movies, and TV shows helped with it. Always naked, disposed to just fuck. A toy. A possession. The king’s favourite flower.

Katherine couldn’t be really mad about it, because that was all about her. Even her solo was about how she was the ten among these three. Aragon was the faithful wife, Boleyn the witch who made England break the church, Seymour the one he truly loved, Cleves the great queen of the castle, Parr the feminist writer.

Katherine Howard was the pretty one.

There was no personality to it, just a pretty face that happened to be compared with real queens. Of course, she would never win.

(…)

A nymphomaniac.

(…)

The first time she doesn’t feel drugged or numb comes after a show.

They were just heading out, tired out of their minds. Katherine just felt tired, as always. With that voice in the back of her head telling her how she was weak for not giving more every performance.

A man took her by the wrist, and a wave came from it. Her whole-body getting tense. It comes from her wrist, all through her arm, to her shoulder, finally getting to her neck. And now she can’t breathe. His hand is still there, firm, while she is trembling.

It could have been hours, or minutes, or seconds, but her mind was panicking and racing. She couldn’t seem to hold on to a thought, instead everything became overwhelming, a dizzy feeling. Her body not responding her calls.

“Kitty, can you hear me?” A voice quietly talks. It must be Anne; she is the only one who calls her that.

“We should take her inside.” Another voice speaks. “It’s not safe here.”

“Outside air can help, Jane.” She starts focusing in what the queens are talking. “Kat?”

She manages to break the amount of nervous on her and starts breathing heavy, as if she just ran a marathon.

“I’m okay.”

She sounds raspy, more tired than before if it was even possible.

“Can we go home?”

Parr gives her a hand to take and stand up, but she refuses and decides to stand up by herself. Instead of going to Anna’s car as she would usually do, she heads to Aragon’s, sitting in the passenger seat, making sure to set distance between her and the other queen. Luckily nobody makes questions, and Parr rides with Cleves and Boleyn, so the car is not packed.

(…)

A girl whose only education was into how to please a man.

(…)

She didn’t think it was possible, but it gets worse.

Now, instead of feeling nothing, she feels too much. Way too many bad things. She feels something raw coming from inside of her. It’s so sad, it’s eating her from inside. Her limbs are so tired, but now she can’t sleep. There are nightmares keeping her awake.

It results that feeling was not good after all.

But at least, it makes her feel alive.

After a night full of nightmares, she would just go to the kitchen and serve herself, and usually Cathy Parr, a cup of coffee. If it wasn’t enough, another cup wouldn’t do any harm. She sometimes drank energy drinks if her first cup was not even of a little help, but tried not to rely on them. It was not healthy.

The rest of the queens didn’t bring up what happened, nor her new sleeping habits. Anne would shoot her concerned looks, but nothing outside that. No words.

She must not care. Katherine thought. She knows I’m Katherine Howard, too idiotic to even be sad.

She managed. Pretended to be happy, to have energy. To be oblivious.

(…)

A reckless fool.

(…)

“Jane, just stop it, okay?”

They were alone in the theatre, the rest of the queens were heading out to a bar, instead Seymour and Howard were going home. Katherine was just so tired after just two hours of sleep, and Jane simply didn’t liked bars as much as the rest of them.

“It’s cold, put on a coat or something more, you will catch a cold.” She tried to give the teenager her pink sweater, but all she got was rejection.

“Just don’t.” Katherine bitted her lip, but couldn’t help herself and snapped. “Stop acting as if I’m a child.”

“You are nineteen.” Jane stated.

“I am like five hundred years old.” There was bitterness in her voice. “Nobody cared about me being nineteen when the king beheaded me. They didn’t even care when I was younger, why now?”

“Because I care about you.” The blonde tried to look for Katherine’s eyes, but she was too focused on the ground.

“You shouldn’t.”

There were just too many connotations to what she was saying. She felt trapped inside her own mind, a mind that was useless. As long as she looked pretty, nobody should care about anything else. It was more than enough. Feelings were too complex and ended in tragedy, and whoever cared for her would have to see her downfall.

If she didn’t take them down with her.

After all, Thomas cared. Or so he said.

(…)

Cold, calculating and ambitious.

(…)

The nightmares would just not stop, even as much as she tried.

She would just wake up, agitated and breathless, with the images still going through her mind, even when her eyes were open looking to her bedroom celling.

Katherine tried all the things internet said about sleeping without nightmares. Don’t sleep on her stomach, drink something warm first, try to be warm. Nothing worked. It just got worse and worse, to a point were her still shaken up body would not response once she was awake, instead looking at dark figures that painted the walls in her room.

Internet calls it parasomnia, she calls it her brain just can’t seem to work properly.

It’s one night when after an episode she hears a knock on her door. Heavily moving aching muscles, she opens it, revealing Aragon with a bag of crackers.

“I heard you were having a nightmare.”

Katherine lets her in.

“Why the crackers?” She asks, while sitting back on her bed.

“They say that if you talk about a nightmare without eating something first, it will become true.”

She offers one to Katherine, who accepts.

“I am not sure it was a nightmare.” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it either.”

They fall into a not so comfortable silence.

“Why are you awake?” the teenager asks.

“Nights are a hard time for me. I can’t close my eyes without a memory appearing. Tonight, is Mary.”

“I remember things about her.”

“I do too. I still can remember when she was a baby, you should have seen her. Her hair was so soft, and her skin looked like porcelain. Like a doll, too perfect to be real.”

“I wasn’t even born when she was a baby.”

Aragon laughs unpredictable. “You got me there.” Her face turns darker. “I can’t wrap my head about the things she had done. What they say about her. Bloody Mary, a ghost story. She was just so kind before.”

“Life in court can change you.” Katherine establishes. “Those were other times; other things were allowed. Things people now would consider monstrous.”

“No, that is still no excuse.” Catherine smiled even with eyes full of tears. “I won’t keep you up any longer, there’s no need for it.”

“You can stay here.” Katherine spoke before thinking. “If both of us have problems sleeping, it might be good to be together.”

It becomes a thing, when they heard the other one was up, they would get a bag of crackers and go to the other room. Spending nights talking about meaningless things, trying to take their minds out of dark places.

Katherine discovers Aragon knows a lot of history, things that people have already lost, or that she never heard of. Spanish proverbs and idioms, details of her time as queen. It becomes their night time stories. Talking about the older queen’s past but never about the younger. There is something so appealing for Katherine about history, a curiosity she didn’t knew she had inside her.

It helps.

(…)

It is easy to see Katherine as a spoilt child, a child saying “I want, I want…” all the time and sticking out her bottom lip and sulking if she didn’t get her way.

(…)

Anna is objectively pretty. She doesn’t have the fine gestures of Aragon, or elegancy as Parr. She doesn’t have striking green eyes like Anne. But Anna is still attractive. Full lips, dark skin, and short hair. She chopped it off as soon as they landed to the modern times, and never let it long again.

Anna was also the only one who could remember her time as queen.

Still she doesn’t talk about it, she just ignores history all together. Cleves is great at support, noticing when they are tired and buying stuff for make them feel better.

They are friends, or so she thinks, still there is a lot that is out of the line. Things they never talk but all of them know. About her own past as queen, how Jane’s actions have led to Anne getting beheaded, about Parr’s implications with Elizabeth.

Katherine wonders if they had Googled her. If they have seen the show made about Henry. She is afraid because nobody talks about her truth, is either morbid retellings on how she was abused, on how they pimped her way into Henry’s arms, or about the teenage, spoiled brat she was.

Kat doesn’t think she is either of them. She is not just someone they used to climb their way into court, nor just a teenager who had everything she ever wanted.

Maybe she is something in the middle, constructed by pieces of it. Just pieces because she knows she is not whole; she is breaking beyond repair. Every day it passes it’s another piece, another fragment missing. A nightmare long forgotten; a night lost from her mind.

A rose without a thorn was unnatural after all.

(…)

No other wish but his.

(…)

Katherine realizes her costume is the smaller one, and not only talking about size.

She sometimes feels exposed, and wishes for pants or a better skirt, but the costume designer assured her it was better that way, to play the seductress and then surprise the audience with her real story.

Whore or victim, no in between.

At least she loved pink.

“Kitty, you ready?” Anne asked.

They were at a big studio, and their performance was going to be on TV. All the queens were so anxious the house was as loud as ever, even at night.

“I’m a little bit scared.” She admitted, punishing herself for admitting that.

“Don’t be, you do perfect every night, today is just one more day.”

Emotions fills her for a moment. And it’s not as usually the horrible, dreadful feeling, but rather a warm one.

“I love you Annie.”

Her heart is beating fast, fearing rejection by her cousin. Instead Boleyn hugs her, procuring not to squeeze her in any way she might panic.

“I love you even more Kitty.”

They stay for a while. It’s been hundreds of years since the last time someone hugged her and talked about love. But it felt real. A family bond that she never thought she could have again.

“Now, get prepared, you are going to kill it tonight.”

(…)

Had many characteristics of a juvenile delinquent, who was spoiled, fawned upon, and flattered.

(…)

Jane is the first one to start seeing a psychologist.

She has a survivor’s guilt, even when she was the one who died. But it was honest that she was also the one who came back. Katherine wants to help, but doesn’t know how. Dying is easier when you wish for it. When you leave no one behind.

“How was therapy?” Kat asks when Jane gets home after the first session.

“It’s good, I think. Talking about it was like releasing a breath I didn’t knew I was holding. I know there is still a lot to work on, but I feel like it is a good decision.” She smiles. Jane lets her hand in the table, offering it to the teenager without a word. She takes it. “Thanks for asking, Kitty.”

“Can you not call me that?” Katherine pleads, giving Jane’s hand a little squeeze. “Annie calls me that, and I like it being a thing with her.”

She knows it’s cold to just say that, but Anne has been the only one to call her that. From the moment they arrived, while everyone called her Katherine, for her cousin she was Kitty. It gave her a feeling of comfort, of belonging to a family. Boleyn was her family.

“No problem, we can look for another nickname.” Jane smiles. “I want to bake cookies, what do you think?”

(…)

Could this ‘whore in the bedroom’ really be a virgin?

(…)

“Are you okay, Catherine?” Kat asks.

The survivor was still in the kitchen, even when it was past midnight. Her face was slammed on the table, illuminated by the cold light of her notebook.

“Yes, just can’t seem to get this done.” She straightens her spine.

“What is it about?”

“Just about Spain history, and the colonies.”

“Can I read?”

“Yes. I will make tea.” Parr handles the computer to the fifth queen.

Catherine takes two mugs, and chooses peppermint tea for them both. When the water is hot, she serves it, and takes the sugar to the table.

“It is good, really.” Howard says.

“I can sense a “but”.” Catherine laughs.

“You are only taking one side; you should know how Spain sent a lot of people from the church on missions to re-educate the natives. Las misiones Jesuitas. Politics and religion were more connected than what this make it look like.”

“That’s… Very true. I didn’t know you were interested in history.”

Kat can feel her face getting redder and warmer, embarrassed.

“It’s great, if you ever want to work together, you know where to find me.”

Work. Work together.

The teenager is not sure about how to react.

(…)

If only she had been willing to put her pride and title aside, (…) she may have lost her title as queen but kept her head.

(…)

When she realizes how much her life had changed, it’s more than half a year since they arrived.

There is still something obscure, twitching inside of her. The voices of a million ghosts, and even more people now with their opinions.

Researching history with the first and the last queen helps her. She starts noticing the changes in the discourses, how things that could be empowering before now are just mere normal things. The idea of a part of history she missed is attractive, and she spends hours on Wikipedia and blogs before talking to Parr about trivia facts she finds of the years they were dead.

The house gets better by the time. Having it painted, changed the plumbing, renewed the stairs. It also gets better with them, slowly growing into a group, learning how to deal with each other.

It’s slow, but it gets better.

(…)

I have to conclude that Catherine was incredibly stupid and foolhardy.

(…)

Katherine decides to start therapy. Jane talks highly of how it affected her, how she resolved so many things about her past. And the youngest queen just wants that, to be liberated, to step out of her own shadow.

At first therapy was good, having a chance to talk about her feelings, about living with people who were totally strangers. Adapting to a new world. Having a cousin. It all comes easy, it’s just the way it is. It gives her a short feeling of release, of being liberated, but it always quickly vanishes.

Not everything can always be smooth sailing in her life.

“What is a child?” Her psychologist, a woman in her middle thirties asks.

“A child?”

“Yes, what do you consider a child?”

“A really young human, I guess.”

It’s a weird question, and she feels as if she was being interrogated. That is what exams must feel like.

“I can’t really remember a lot from my childhood.” Katherine starts. “It’s just things. My mother died when I was five. I loved dancing; my father let me study it. I was never good at important things, such as math or music.”

“Why you weren’t?”

“I’m not sure. Manox always told me how I wasn’t enough, how I should try harder and be better. Francis was also like that, telling me to be quiet, to please. My grandmother also was like that, wanted all of us, the ladies to be better.”

She waits, thinks how to continue.

“I think what I always wanted to do was to make them proud, to be always better. I wanted to be liked, just that. I thought that if I was better my father was not going to leave me in a place full of people I didn’t know.”

Katherine can feel herself thinking again, trying to put her thoughts into words once, and once again.

“Why do you do this to yourself, Katherine?” Her psychologist watches her straight to her eyes. “Why are you hiding things for me? You think, and think, and think again, trying to control what your saying, how you move, how you act. I can’t judge you, and I won’t. You need to be real here, or else therapy is not going to help.”

“When I was real, I died.” Tears are streaming down her face; a pout is there and she doesn’t want to look so much like a child, but she feels small.

“Were you real? Why did you love him?”

(…)

She must have had rocks in her head.

(…)

It takes time after that, to really open up.

It takes even more time to notice that a lot of her thoughts weren’t hers, but rather thoughts she had attached herself to. It becomes difficult to realize that she is made of other people’s opinions. That she is just a victim of an adult game. It doesn’t come easy, and when it comes, it breaks her.

It breaks her to the core, to a point she is not sure how to act because that’s all she has ever knew.

(…)

Katherine had been shameless. She had been deceitful. But that was all.

(…)

Anna is there when she gets back from one therapy session.

“How was it today?” Cleves asks.

“Was I just a child?” Katherine returns a question.

“Explain that, please.”

The queen who lived the longest makes the youngest sit on the couch.

“Was I just a child when I arrived to court?”

“You were. You were so young and knew so much about things I couldn’t even imagine.”

“I thought I was an adult.”

“That’s what older people want to make you believe to manipulate you. “You are wiser”, “Too mature for your age”, “You know better than others”.” Katherine is trembling, but that doesn’t stop Anna. “They made you believe you were ready so they didn’t have to live with their own guilt. But you are just a victim.”

The teenager starts crying, and Anna hugs her.

“I thought it was my fault.” She admits. “I thought it was me.”

(…)

There is so much that is not known about her that I am still thinking of all the ideas that people have suggested.

(…)

Dealing with trauma is not easy. Katherine slowly learns to manage. Sometimes is harder, when breathing exercises are too much for her panicking brain, or when nightmares can’t seem to stop. But she still gets out of them, learns not to blame herself.

She learns to be loved. Truly love. Not to fear emotions.

Katherine gets mad, and forgives, taking matters into her own hands. She learns to be young, to be carefree.

She learns to unlearn everything she knew, to question other people opinions about herself to the point she knows who she is, and can’t bring herself to care what an history book or some random person on internet has to say.

It’s hard, but she learns to own and embrace who she is.

#six the musical fanfiction #six fanfiction #six fanfic #six the musical

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coldwordsburningheart · 5 years ago

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RULES

AGE: I won’t roleplay with ANYONE younger than fourteen. I have nothing against younger roleplayers but I am not going to plot anything with someone who shouldn’t even have a phone or social media at least. (Yes, I am not an oldie, gen z here but this won’t change anything.)

NSFW: Mun is over 18. That means this is a free NSFW blog and I am open to roleplay anything. I have a few triggers that you'll find if you read all of my rules. I don't need to say that I won’t roleplay anything sexual with minors. I’ll have to ask your age if we do something like this. BOTH mun and muses need to be over eighteen. If your mun is not in proper age we can stick to the soft stuff only (hugging etc.) ATTENTION. I do NOT age up Shoto for the reason of smut. If you are not able to understand this, stay away from this blog.

SHIPPING: By the way I portray Shoto, he is biromantic. That means that I will ship him with both males and females but I prefer to stick to male characters. As long as the female character is well written, there’s always a chance to ship him with her. I have to admit I’m picky with female OCs because in my experience their portrayal is too shallow. Shoto is not just romantic. He needs to share a deeper bond with his partner.

TAGGING: I will write smut stuff under the READ MORE tool and I will use the tag: #smut. When it comes to triggers, I will try and tag some heavy matters under the tag: #tw: yourwarninggoeshere. I’ll use a space after ‘tw:’. You can tell me your triggers by sending me a message or an ask. Right now I tag anything that is written in my TRIGGERS PAGE (You can find it on navigation). I tag anything my mutuals have on their rules/about page. I am a human being so I might forget to tag something, so remind me if I haven’t.

FOLLOWING: I will follow most of my roleplay partners or those I want to roleplay with but if we don’t interact for a long time (a few months) or have stopped roleplaying for various reasons, I will unfollow you. I don’t mind not being followed back. This blog will include graphic images of pain and horror or NSFW content so I understand if someone doesn’t want to have my posts on their dash. For me following you, consider that I've already read your own rules and about pages.

POST LENGTH: My writing style is advanced literate. That means I need more than a paragraph to roleplay with. One paragraph is fine still, but as long as there’s something interesting to reply. I don’t mind how long your replies are. Just take notice that I will probably mirror you and my reply will be the same length.

WARNING: I have written this again but I want to make sure that it’s clear enough. I will probably roleplay some heavy matters like mental illness, suicide, torture, etc. There are matters I will roleplay that might make some people sick. So either tell me your trigger warning to tag those, either don’t follow me. That doesn’t mean that if you request me to roleplay something soft or something canon I won’t.

SELECTIVE: I am selective when it comes to writing. Like I said, I need a paragraph or more to reply. I need to roleplay in third person and I don’t roleplay on DM.

MULTIPLE THREADS: I don’t mind having multiple threads with the same person especially if I enjoy their writing.

MAINS: I have blogs/threads which I prioritize over others. This isn't personal. I just feel more motivated to reply to those. I don't have exclusives.

TRACKING: I usually track my threads with an app but it takes a lot of my time. I try to use a tagging system even if it doesn’t work as well as I want it to. Don’t be scared to remind me to reply to something I might have forgotten. I could possibly forget to add it to my tracker.

REMINDERS: Constant reminders make me lose my interest in the roleplay (if there’s any). I understand and appreciate for someone to tell me I have forgotten something. Myself, I will remind someone of our thread after a month or even more.

REPLIES: I want to study as a med student and have to work at the same time. That means that I can be really slow when it comes to replies. I wish you understand and don’t feel offended or lose your interest if I take some time to answer our thread. I believe in quality over quantity. Some days I might reply to specific people. That has nothing to do with you or your writing. I just might need to roleplay a specific matter or thread or enjoy someone’s writing too much and need to focus on that for some time.

ASKS: I will reply to any asks. Sending me memes or starters makes me really happy, but I am someone who thinks of those as a chance to start something which has a well-built plot. Short time threads are not my thing.

GAMES: Tag me to any games and stuff. I love those and there’s a chance to show more aspects of my muse.

ICONS: I roleplay with icons that I have made myself. I don’t expect you to do so. Please, do not steal my icons. Some of them are edited manga screens which I might have spent a lot of time on. Especially my villain Shoto one’s.

CUTTING POSTS: I have finally found out how to cut posts. Still, I don’t expect you to do so.

STARTERS: My open starters are actually open to everyone. Then I'll reply to another post and tag you. If I offer to make a starter and you accept and you don't reply after a month, and if I have messaged you and you haven't responded but you are actually active, sorry but no matter how specifically we have plotted our thread, I'll assume you are not interested anymore and turn it to an open starter. I put some time on those and I don't want it to be to waste.

ENGLISH: English is not my mother language. I have learnt English completely alone and it’s something that had been hard for me. I understand telling me if I have made any mistakes or ask me if you didn’t understand anything but I won’t take any criticism.

TRIGGERS: My triggers are pretty funny. So please, I'd love if you could tag anything that is related to aliens. Mostly images because I can easily freak out about those. That's something I have since I was a kid and I can't get rid of it. Also, cockroaches. Please, please do not use them in metaphors in our threads, tag if you have memes about those and all that kind of stuff. I'd appreciate that A LOT. Another trigger that is about smut (jump to the next rule if you are a minor) is age-play. I've read some sick stuff on Ao3 so do not even discuss roleplaying something in that sort of thing.

TIME-SKIP: Well, I’m someone who can enjoy something that is slow. I am pleased with anything as long as there’s some really good and inspiring writing (how many times have I said this?). I can keep a thread for years (and I have) and not be bored of it. If you start getting bored we can time-skip but I’d want to discuss this first.

MEMES/FANART: This is something I had recently started to be annoyed with. Please, do not use me as meme or fanart source. This goes for roleplay partners or not. Please, reblog memes AND fanart from the source.

SPOILERS: This blog is not spoiler free. I am caught up to the manga. I will tag spoilers from the latest chapters ONLY as: #|bnhaspoilers|. You have been warned.

THANK YOU FOR READING MY RUMBLING BEFORE MESSAGING ME FIRST. PLEASE CHECK MY INTRO AND MY ABOUT PAGE. ALSO YOU CAN CHECK MY VERSES AND OPEN STARTERS. LINKS ARE ON MY DESCRIPTION FOR BOTH COMPUTER OR MOBILE USERS. YOU CAN MESSAGE ME AND PLOT ANY TIME. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. JUST FYI I AM A LOT LIKE SHOTO SO I MIGHT NOT BE TALKATIVE. THIS IS NOT PERSONAL AND DOESN’T MEAN I AM NOT INTERESTED FOR OUR MUSES TO INTERACT.

#mha roleplay #mha #mha rp #mha shoto #mha shouto #bnha #bnha roleplay #bnha rp #bnha todoroki #bnha shouto #mha todoroki #bnha shoto todoroki #mha shoto todoroki #bnha todoroki shoto #bnha shoto #|ip:rules|

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sylveradrake · 5 years ago

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Pixel art commissions are open!

Active Slots:

[ ayealiskomori: four 200px dolls (sketched) ]

[ charlieltweets: one 150px doll (sketched) ]

[ cupiddissolvi: two 250 pixel dolls ]

[ Open ]

Reserved Slots:

[ Open ]

Frequently Asked Questions (Please Read!):

[ ? ] Are these all the options you have for commissions? [ A ] These are primarily just examples of things I've done consistently in the past! If you have a more 'custom' idea, we can certainly discuss it! I've been doing pixel art for over four years, so I have some decent experience, but like every artist I have limits to my current abilities. You can see both my Tumblr and DeviantArt galleries for more examples, including the options for the line styles, animations, and shading! [ ? ] What ARE all those options under the examples? [ A ] Hard lines means the piece will have "hard", solid black lines between each "section" of the piece: the outline, and between all the different colors, etc. Lineless means that rather than having that solid black line, I use a slightly darker shade of each color to outline them, like the full body dragon! This gives it a softer, 'lineless' look. Cell shading means that there's just one color used to shade, rather than a blend. The Kakashi doll on the far left has cell shading: just one color in a hard shape. Smooth shading means what it sounds like: a few colors are blended from dark to light to make the shadows smoother! I do a few very basic animations for certain dolls or icons when requested. Typically this refers to a one-pixel "bob", and a blink cycle. I can also have a doll open its mouth and bring up a small speech bubble if you'd like them to say something! Please bear in mind that animation takes additional time and effort, and though not required, additional support is appreciated for animated pieces! [ ? ] Why are there things you refuse to draw? [ A ] For the most part, it's simply a matter of preference. For others, it's a matter of ability. Some things are just a bit too complex for me to feel I can pull it off in a fashion consistent with the rest of my work, and therefore being worth your money! Hence a limit on complex poses and the number of characters per shot, or complex designs, like mecha. Other things like the ship limitations are just personal preferences that make me uncomfortable. The NSFW ban is mostly due to most hosting sites not liking to host mature artwork...and also a matter of both my ability, and personal preference. [ ? ] What constitutes NSFW? [ A ] For me, this includes any nudity that shows genitals - nipples and / or breasts are fine. This also includes anything sexual, including any and all fetishes, even if genitals are not shown. I also do not do heavy gore. I may expand this umbrella term if anything not already covered comes up! [ ? ] I can't afford a commission, but I'd like to help! What can I do? [ A ] You can share this comm sheet and / or my art with your friends! Getting the word out might mean finding someone able and willing to order a comm, which of course is a big help! [ ? ] Do you do requests? [ A ] Unfortunately, not at the moment. If you'd like me to draw something for you and the comms are open, you're more than welcome to order something! While I do do personal art for myself and for friends, I can't make free art for everyone. In the future I may do something akin to raffles, but for now, we're starting with the commissions! [ ? ] Can I donate without ordering a commission? [ A ] You most certainly can, and it's very much appreciated, and would be a huge help! Of course it is NOT an expectation: no one has to donate if they can't or don't want to. But if you just want to throw some general support in to help me keep creating, you're more than welcome, and I'd appreciate it tremendously [ ? ] Do you accept DeviantArt points? [ A ] I do not. To put it bluntly, DA points can't pay my bills. I have nothing I need that DA points can buy, so I only work with money. Sorry! [ ? ] Do you do anything like art trades? [ A ] For the moment, no - but I might in the future! I'm open to the possibility, but for now (and for this post's purpose), I'm working on commissions! If I ever open up art trades, I'll be sure to make another about it! [ ? ] How is best to contact you? [ A ] Any of the above listed social media! Here on DA, please send a note with a subject line about commissions. On Tumblr, you can send an ask (off anon) which I will reply to privately. You can also send an IM! Email also works: just include commissions in the subject line. I do my best to check all of these sites a few times a day, but there may be times where I'm limited. I'll try to post ahead of time so you know why I'm not responding promptly! Otherwise, it could take me about a day to get back to you. Please be patient! I have other responsibilities. I may also take hiatuses if I feel the need. If I go more than a few days without responding and haven't given any warning, there's probably something keeping me from my messages, and I'll do my best to get back to you as soon as I'm able! [ ? ] What's your policy on refunds? [ A ] So long as I haven't finished flat coloring your piece, you can get a full refund, of course! But once the piece is lined AND colored, I've put in a good bit of work, so I'm afraid I won't be able to refund you. As stated on the sheet, you can ask for an update on the piece any time! And I will send you the cleaned sketch once it's finished to see if there's anything you'd like changed. Though please bear in mind some things can differ between sketching and lining, especially when shrinking down to pixel. A sketch is a general outline, not the full product! [ ? ] Are there any other circumstances where you might refuse a commission? [ A ] Honestly it depends. I hope not to encounter any other reasons beyond my general rules, but I DO retain the right to say no to any commission for any reason, which I don't have to disclose. If I do say no, please respect that decision. It's never anything personal. [ ? ] Where does the art go once it's finished? [ A ] Any commissioned art, by default, will be posted to my DeviantArt, my Tumblr, and on Ko-fi! I'll also send you a copy / link through whatever means you contacted me with. If you'd like your art to be private, you need only ask. I will then only send YOU the art, and it will NOT be posted anywhere else. I can also post the art anonymously if you’d like it posted, but your name not attached to it. [ ? ] How can I use my commission(s)? [ A ] Any way you like UNLESS it's commercial - in other words, if you make any money using the artwork. Please also do not trade or sell the artwork. Otherwise, feel free to use it for any personal use you'd like! You can also repost the art so long as you provide a link to my original post. If your comm wasn't publicly posted, a link back to any of my social media will suffice! Just always be sure to use proper credit so people know where the art came from! That way they can find my pages, and maybe get a commission of their own! [ ? ] Do you do fanart? [ A ] I do! My commissions are all one-off, unique jobs, and I'm hardly about to impact any IP markets. So long as it's a large fandom (no Disney, though - that's one I won't touch), and my art wouldn't greatly impact the profits and livelihood of other creators, I can do fanart. But I DO prefer to do original art! It's great to work with new designs, and help give original characters more art for them! Gimme OCs to draw! [ ? ] Can you design a character for me, like a custom adoptable? [ A ] I can! Just bear in mind that I'll need as many details as possible to make something that fits your vision! I'll also need to work with you more than typical to be sure we get it as accurate as possible, so be prepared for a lot of communication until we get it looking as you want! [ ? ] Can you do gifts - in other words, can I order art for another person? [ A ] I do, and you certainly can! Just be sure to let me know who the gift is for, so I can tag them! If they don't have any of the social media I use, you can just give me a name or screen name to post with it. A gift will just cost you the same as any art you'd order for yourself! Also please do be sure you have permission to commission art of characters owned by another person! [ ? ] What do you mean by 'item'? [ A ] Each individual pixel piece! One lone pixel doll of 150 pixels would be four dollars! But if you want two dolls interacting, it's four dollars EACH. So eight dollars. That's because I still have to sketch, ink, color, shade, and possibly animate EACH doll! Twice the effort means twice the price.

#commissions #pixel art #pixel doll #pixel icon #pixel cursor

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evesbeve · 6 years ago

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It’s YOUR art!

So I’ve had this cork board in my room since forever, and no matter how many times I rearrange it, I NEVER end up with something that I like.

But yesterday that changed! I decided to use it to pin all the wonderful art you guys have made for me, whether it was a gift or a commission! So without any further ado, here it is!

Credits and extras under the cut!

Top Row (horizontally)

Me, Ali (@clumsinessinperson) and Ver (@xxwhisperapplexx) by Ali

I mean, this isn’t exactly for me, but I love you guys and I needed a pic of us up there ;w; next time we’ll add hollie and bri too bc we need the whole squad

Christmas gift by @dahrissy

OKAY BUT THIS IS AWESOME BECAUSE IT’S AN ACTUAL DRAWING THAT CAME IN THE MAIL AND?? UM?? I LOVE IT, IT’S ADORABLE ;W; ILY RISSU, I WANNA HUG BOTH YOU AND @bananabrianna77, YOU’RE MY FAVE HUMANS

Fanart of my fic boundaries mean nothing by @we-never-stop-fighting

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME ANYONE’S EVER DRAWN SOMETHING OUT OF A FIC OF MINE? I pinned it on top of the cork board because I wanna look at it every time I write and get encouraged to continue! It means so much to me ;w; Also it’s Ben, and he’s one of my fave characters of all time so!! Thank you so much for sharing this with me, I literally cannot express how much it means to me!

Second Row

Clumsy and my OC Dam by Ali

THIS DRAWING IS LOWKEY THE REASON WE BECAME FRIENDS AND ILY? It means SO much to me, you don’t understand!!

Freddie the Corgi by @sarcasticscribbles

Not really a gift (it was a request though) but it’s Freddie and I love him so much!! He’s there to make me smile ;w;

Me and Ver by mE

This is the only thing on this cork board that’s actually drawn by me, because it’s simply iconic-

Birthday gift by @diamantdrache

AAAAA?? I love this one to death?? A shirt that says “Cole from Ninjago is GAY!” what more can I ask for? I love you?

Cora by @nerdwaifuu

Also a birthday gift! I can’t believe we’ve known each other for sO LONG? Like holy crap Bella, you’re one of the only people in the Ninjago people I’ve known since the Wattpad days (you and Lindsey, that is) and just!! I love you!!

Remaining drawings at the left

Revali by @dyradoodles

This was a gift for my birthday in 2018, and I love it so much ;w; Revali is still one of my top fave characters, and it warms my heart still!!

My profile pic by @itsaduckblrr

Okay, this is the only one I can 100% call iconic. I can’t believe it’s been more than a year since you made this? ‘Cause like? It’s such a long time, holy crap 0-0 It’s one of my favourites up there, for obvious reasons, aND I STILL DEMAND THAT YOU TAKE MY MONEY, I LOVE YOU

More Cora by @sweet-mymble

This is under arrest for being way too adorable, it has stolen my heart ;w; ily

Dam and frens!!! by @loud-quiet-and-fragile

This!! Is!! Adorable!! I love how you drew our characters together, they’d be great frens!!

Remaining drawings at the right

Me and Dam by @kara-is-so-ninja

Kara: I don’t have enough time to make you a bday gift, but happy bday!

Also Kara: hEY SO I MADE THIS WONDERFUL THING

dUUUDE THIS IS LITERALLY SO ADORABLE, I had to put it there. Also you’re awesome and ily and I wanted your art on my board ‘cause you’re amazing ;w;

Me by @donnapaella

THIS IS SO OLD?? AT LEAST TWO YEARS HAVE PASSED?? HOLY MOLY?? I remember sitting at the exact spot I’m sitting at right now and you sending me this and me going “!!!!!!!!!!! :O WHA?” I ADORE it. It’s just the best thing ever, and it makes me feel special every time I look at it, ily dude ;w;

Some good ol’ Pixane by @nightlybirdie

I mean, there was no way I wouldn’t put something about these two up there, but this was also a birthday gift and it’s just sO CUTE, and it makes me SCREAM! It’s the best bday gift ever, tysm Nightly ;w;

Dam and Revali by @esmiden

This was also for my bday in 2018 and AAAAAAAAA IT’S ADORABLE?? This is another one of these drawings that warms my heart, thank you so much Esmi!!

Mystery Drawing by Storm

I didn’t want to post a picture of this on tumblr because I don’t have a way to credit Storm through tumblr anymore (I only have their Discord and that’s private information) but it’s a drawing of me as a Hylian and Revali and it’s the most beautiful thing ever ;w;

The second big drawing on this board

Mikey, Donnie and Freddie commission by @sarcasticscribbles

THIS TAKES THE TEA, it’s one of my favourites up here (thus why it’s so huge), the reason we became friends, and also it’s beautiful, I LOVE IT AND I LOVE YOU!

Extras

The cutouts by Ali

They’re all made by Ali. All of them. No exceptions. That brings the total of Ali drawings to 5. Thank you for your contribution to my room, fren.

The polaroids

The one at the bottom left corner are some pictures of me, @totallyevan and our Dad. We look... Interesting, to say the least XD

The other one, (second row, last pin) is of me and my best friend. We tried to take a polaroid selfie. I still can’t decide whether it worked or not.

Fortune Cookie Fortune

That tiny piece of paper under Candaru’s drawing is actually a fortune from a fortune cookie!! It says “Everybody loves you.” and I found it very encouraging ^^

Undertale Pin

(right bottom corner of the TMNT drawing)

OKAY BUT I WANT MORE PINS, and this one is from Undertale!! It’s a sleeping annoying dog, ‘cause Toby Fox owns me,,,

That One Random Red String

YOU KNOW HOW THEY HAVE THESE IN CRIME STORIES WHEN THEY TRY TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY? Well, it means absolutely nothing here, but I figured it looked cool and it was lying around my room!

A Conclusion™

So, obviously I’ve saved some space for future drawings, and I’m planning on putting some drawings at the sides of my workplace as well (you can’t really see it but it’s there) but I just wanted to say THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

I could have never imagined how much support I’d get by posting my content here, but you guys surprised me anyway.

This blog (and my presence in social media in general) was made to share my work with the world, but most importantly, to spread positivity.

I’ve never asked for anything in return, yet you guys have given me so much.

And especially if we’re friends (because the majority of these are from friends!!), thank you so much for being here!! Some of these are the REASON we became friends, and I LOVE YOU.

It would be impossible to pin every single doodle, so if your art wasn’t up here, don’t take it personally! These were just some that have some story behind them, but I appreciate every single piece of art I am sent.

And not just art!! Your guys’ comments and support is more than enough for me. So for the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

I’m trying to improve the environment I live in, and you guys are helping me so much with all your kind gestures. I don’t know how I could ever repay you, but I thank you for the bottom of my heart <3

#evelina nonesense #eve's faves #positivity #art #ninjago #botw #tmnt #rottmnt #ali i swear to god you're taking over my room and i am not complaining at all #but you have to promise me that you'll let me mail you a hundred copies of gay me #it actually has a clone #because i got the dimensions wrong at first #so watch your mail #:)#this was creepy okay #ily guys #all of you #you're the best

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