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ennoshawty · 3 years ago

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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

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multiplefandomsblog · 4 years ago

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Shuichi x fem!reader fluffshot

desc; shuichi with a fem!s/o who enjoys wearing dresses. she goes out of her way to buy a dress for a date.

warnings; they're in highschool? i think???, suggestive depends on how you look at it, fluff, so many clichés, i did some fake text messages bc i didnt know how to type the text message format

word count; 2k

“Hmm...” You hummed frustratingly as you skimmed through the dresses in the shop, not finding one you were happy with. You were trying to find a dress that you thought Shuichi would like, but so far you haven’t found one that piqued your interest. You furrowed your brow at a blue dress that you came across on, looking at the back in interest. You grinned as you finally found the right one, the one you were going to wear for the date you had with Shuichi.

As you brought it to the counter and took out your wallet, you couldn’t stop thinking of how Shuichi would react. You felt giddy from the excitement of seeing him flushed from the sight of you. Quickly purchasing the dress, you grabbed the handle of the bag the dress was in and made your way back home with a bounce in your step.

As you sat in one of the public bus seats, you checked your phone for the time. Your eyes widened in panic when you saw the big bold letters read, “5:00 pm” That meant you only had 1 hour to prepare for the date you had with Shuichi. You put your phone back in your pocket and started fidgeting with your fingers in distress, predicting how much time it would take for you to get home, shower and dress up. ‘Would there be enough time?’ You thought. Shifting uncomfortably in your seat as the anxiety bubbled up inside you, waiting to pour out.

Whilst you were panicking in the bus seat, Shuichi was at his house trying on multiple shirts that he was unhappy with. He stood in front of his full body mirror with faux confidence, “H-hey there uh, you look great!” He spoke to the mirror with a nervous smile, picturing you in front of him. His face dropped as he sighed, “Great? Great!? Get it together Shuichi, we both know that she’s much more than great.” He grumbled to himself as he took off his shirt and--yet again-- put on another one.

He looked in the mirror, examining the black button-up on his back. He made a sound of uncertainty before nodding, “Eh, okay.” He inhaled before faced the mirror again and looking himself dead in the eyes. “S/o, would you be my girlfriend?” He said--surprisingly--without a single stutter, before breaking character and groaning. He squatted down and muffled his screams in his knees, face red from shame. “I can’t do this,”

“No, I-I can do this. What would Kaito say if he saw you being such a coward?” He muttered as he stood up and paced the room stressfully, before stopping and staring at the flowers he got for you. He had an internal battle in his head between ‘What if she says no?’ and ‘But what if she says yes?’ In the end, he decided that future Shuichi would decide.

~~~

Once the bus stopped near your home, you quickly hopped off the stairs of the vehicle and started jogging to your house. You unlocked the door to your house and rushed to your room. Checking the time again, it read 5:14 pm. ‘Perfect.’ You thought as you hastily stripped yourself of your clothes and showered. No longer than 10 minutes later, you carefully got out of the shower, careful not to slip. While you dried yourself, you heard your phone ring. Unlocking your phone, you smiled at the message from Shuichi.

Shuichi yelped as he pressed send, throwing his phone at his bed. You replied back with trembling fingers and rosy cheeks.

You laughed loudly as you watched his calm composed texts turned into embarrassed apologies. Your nerves easing as you laughed. Taking a small breather, you replied back with a goofy smile on your face.

You left his last message on read as you dried your hair with a victorious smile. Whilst you basked in glory, Shuichi was at his house, trying his best not to imagine you naked. “Keep it together, Shuichi!” He told himself, voice muffled by his hands. He lightly whacked his head, trying to stop where his thought process was going. He really didn’t want to picture you naked; He would never look at you the same way if he did. Shaking his head of his strange thoughts, he went to the bathroom to splash some water on his face.

~~~

Once you dried your hair thoroughly, you got out of the bathroom, shivering as you felt the cold hair hit your damp skin. You quickly slipped on your undergarments, wanting some sort of material on your cold body. After slipping on your undergarments, you made your way towards the small paper bag you had left near your room door. You reached into the bag and grabbed the dress, grinning excitedly as you saw the glossy dark blue fabric.

You put on the dress and went to go check yourself in the mirror. Looking into your reflection, you beamed at how your dress looked on your figure. You felt like a fucking Disney princess. You made a few funny power poses in the mirror to hype yourself up. This might be your new favourite, you thought, you just hope that Shuichi likes the dress just as much as you do. You did a few playful spins in the mirror, before glancing at the clock on your wall, ‘5:35 pm.’ Looks like you had more time than you needed.

You sat down on your bed, picking up your phone, and opening the messaging app to text Shuichi. Your thumb hovered over the keys, as you hesitated. You decided it would be rude to ask someone if they wanted to go earlier when you had already agreed on a time. So, instead, you exited the app and scrolled on Tumblr, occasionally laughing at a shitpost.

〜〜〜

Shuichi stared at his phone, waiting for the screen to light up with a notification impatiently. His ahoge perking up every time he saw his screen brighten up with a notification, but deflating when he saw it wasn’t you. He glared at the small box before caving in and grabbing his phone. He opened the messaging app, about to text you when suddenly, his phone started vibrating. He almost dropped his phone from surprise, fumbling it until he caught it. Unfortunately, his thumb had tapped on the answer button before he could see who it was.

When he finally held his phone in his hands to look at it clearly, his eyes widened as his heart thumped when he saw your name. Clearing his throat, he quickly brought his phone next to his ear, letting out a squeaky, “Hello?” He winced at the unwanted pubescent sound his throat made, face-palming as his voice failed him.

“Uh-Hi! Is-is your throat okay?” You asked, unsure if who you heard was Shuichi. “U-um yeah- No, my uh, my throat is fine.” He cleared his throat once again. It was as if he had forgotten to speak, somehow managing to mess up each word. “S-so, why’d you call?” Shuichi asked nervously, trying to steer the conversation away from his squeaky voice. He awaited your answer as he laid on his back on his bed, gripping his phone with one hand and leaving the back of his other hand on his forehead.

~~~

“No reason, really. Guess I just got impatient and wanted to hear your voice.” You slyly replied, your face heating up with every word that made its way out of your mouth. You see, that was a lie. You had actually been trying to change his contact name to something funny but you had accidentally pressed the call button. What? Did you really think you would have enough confidence to call him yourself? Hah, you wish! You should be thanking your ginormous fingers.

Shuichi sighed dreamily, basking in the sound of your voice. He was so entranced by the sound of it, that the lovesick idiot forgot to reply. Causing your thoughts to go into overdrive and your confidence to go ‘poof!’, “Oh! I-I’m sorry if that’s weird! I just mea-” He snapped out of his daze the moment he heard your panicked voice, quick to dismiss your thought process, “N-no, it’s not weird! To be honest, I wanted to hear your voice too but I just d-didn’t have enough confidence to call.” He admitted quietly, face flushing from his mini confession.

“O-oh.” You were sure you were going to pass out from overheating, he wanted to hear your voice too! You lived in the thought that Shuichi likes the sound of your voice. Shuichi continued the conversation, “So... Tell me about the dress you said you thought I’d like, I’d love to hear about how it looks.” Shuichi smiled fondly, knowing how much you love dresses. As the image of you in a summer dress popped up in his head, he felt his heart warm up. He’s extremely grateful that you enjoy wearing dresses because he enjoys seeing you in them just as much.

Every time he sees you approach him with a dress on, he’s on cloud 9. He swore he was the luckiest man alive when you accepted to go out with him. As you giggled at his words, you were unaware of the effect your giggle had on this man. Your giggle was near fatal for a love-sick fool like him, you made his heart pump just a little bit faster in his chest.

“Nice try, Saihara-Kun. But it’s a surprise! Don’t worry about it though, I am positive you’ll like it.” You teased, running your fingers on the glossy blue fabric in thought. Shuichi chuckled underneath his breath, making your heart skip a beat this time. “You caught me,” Shuichi confessed, laughing quietly. You pressed your hands against your red cheeks, feeling how warm they were.

Glancing at the clock, you spoke, “Oh hey, it’s already 5:46 pm. Are you going to pick me up, Mr. Detective?” You purred, standing up and searching for your purse. Shuichi checked the time on his phone, eyes widening at the time, “Already? It felt much shorter than that.” You shook your head and laughed, “Time goes faster when you’re having fun.” You chimed. “That’s the most cliché thing I’ve ever heard you say.” Shuichi deadpanned, causing you to chuckle at the tone of his voice.

“But it’s pretty accurate isn’t it?” Shuichi sighed in defeat, “I guess so. Or maybe the author was too lazy to write more.” You hummed in agreement, “That’s probably what happened, yeah.” You smiled softly before saying the words neither of you wanted to hear, “Hey, we have to hang up now.” Shuichi felt dread wash over his body at the thought of not hearing your voice, “You have to pick me up remember?” You reminded, cleaning your room a bit before you left. “Don’t hang up.” He pouted, not wanting to stop hearing your voice.

“Shuichi, I’m going to see you in, like, less than 10 minutes.” You giggled at his desperate tone of voice, “Trust me, I don’t want to hang up either.” Shuichi exaggerated his sigh, “Okay, okay, I’m on my way. I’ll see you in 10 minutes, yeah?” He quickly got up, smoothening the wrinkles on his dress shirt. “Yup!” You gushed, feeling caught up in the moment you blurted out, “Love you!”

Crazily enough, Shuichi didn’t seem to notice it either as he replied, “Love you too.” As both of you hung up, you paused. ‘Wait.’

Shuichi also froze, ‘wait a second.’ The two oblivious idiots simultaneously had a mental breakdown, both realizing that they both had just confessed to each other. What did this mean? Were you two a couple now?? Shuichi pushed the thought to the back of his head, focusing on the fact he had to drive to your house and he couldn’t be distracted(drive safely!). He picked up his keys and the roses he had gotten for you earlier today, and made his way out the door.

You slipped on your heels with one hand while you held your purse with the other. Looking in the mirror one more time, you adjusted your dress slightly before taking a peek at the clock. 5:59 pm. You made your way to the door and opened it. Jolting when you saw Shuichi’s tall body right in front of you, “Shui- Why didn’t you ring the doorbell?” You questioned, cocking your head to the side. Shuichi looked at you in awe, you were right, he really did love your dress.

“I... Uh...” He couldn’t say anything as he marvelled over the way you looked in the blue dress. You grinned bashfully, twirling a bit for him. “You like it?” You bit your lip, looking up at him. He simply nodded, not able to think of any words to describe how godly you looked at the moment.

Holy shit, he really, really wanted to kiss you.

He found himself slowly leaning towards you, eyeing your lips. “Shu?” You tried to snap him out of his daze, before realizing where his eyes were trained on. Realization dawned over you and you flushed, eyeing his lips as in turn. Reaching up to grab his face, you gently put your hands on his jaw and craned your neck to kiss him. Thank god for the heels, you would’ve had to pull him down without them.

His eyes expanded due to the fact you made the first move. Closing his eyes, he gripped your hips, sliding his hands over the material of your dress. As he kept going for more of your lips, more of your touch, more of you, the more he became intoxicated. But to his dismay, you pulled away, breath fanning against his chin. “Ditch the date?” You asked, trying to gain your breath back. “Ditch the date.” Shuichi eagerly replied, curling his arm around your waist and pulling you inside your house, closing the door behind him.

this is so long ;--; and unedited- hsbhjbdkndfx i hope you guys enjoyed this! super fun to write brooo, and hey! its only 1 am! proud of me? :D - mod chia

#shuichi saihara #shuichi oneshots #shuichi smut #shuichi headcanons #shuichi fluff #shuichi x reader #shuichi saihara x reader #danganronpa oneshot #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa fluff #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #mod chia

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far-from--perfection · 3 years ago

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Tag game ~

I was tagged by @lacantaloupa ( thanks again for the copy-past tip i can't count how many tag games i skipped just because of that 😂❤️)

1) why did you choose your url?

Because its my safe place, where i can let the perfection thats expected from me aside and just have the luxury to be myself.

2) any side-blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

@a-medicine-student-stories... I made it when i first started my medical studies as a way to encourage myself to study and tell others about that long and hard journey so they feel less alone in their struggle... But i admit that i havent been very active on it for so many reasons i can resume in LAZINESS 😅, my journey isnt finished yet.. I hope i will find a way to blow the dust off it.

3) how long have you been on tumblr?

I recently got a mail reminding me that it's my 9th year of Tumblr...

4) do you have a queue tag?

Nope

5) why did you start your blog in the first place?

Well it was a trend back then so i wanted to give it a try, then i found here what i didn't find in real life nor in other social medias... Understanding, freedom, wisdom, a safe place to tell about emotions and stories you could never tell in real, and just express yourself in the best ways without having to worry about anything ever... it was and still a liberating place!

6) why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Emmm because i liked my eyeliner on that one 😌( and also the sunset light 😍)

7) why did you choose your header?

It inspires growth and healing..

8) what’s your post with the most notes?

I don't remember honestly...

9) How many people do you follow?

4560 🙊

10) have you ever made a shitpost?

I guess so...

11) how often do you use tumblr?

Lately not very often... Maybe once in 2 or 3 days or depending the mood, sometimes i use it without posting, i just scroll endlessly 👀

12) did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? who won?

Nah never am not here to fight.

13) how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?

I reblog what i judge is worth reblogging

14) which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@bintafriqiya and @mxhamed-mxdou

(same)

15) do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nope

Phone Photo Meme Game

rules: choose one picture from ur camera roll without downloading to sum up your personality and then tag 5 ppl

Now, lemme tag :

@sonne-per @lydia-who @l-ns-l @estela97

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livinginfictions · 3 years ago

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Tag/Ask Game

This is a sort of Check-in Tag game thing? I was tagged by @vikingstrash, so thank you dear!

1. Why did you choose your url?

I used to have a different tumblr, and then my sister saw me on it and literally took the mouse and made me follow her own tumblr, and it made me So Immensely uncomfortable, I immediately went and made a whole new blog, and messaged all my mutuals privately to tell them I was moving so my sister wouldn't find out. As I struggled to come up with something more creative than 'time-lady," I remembered one of my mom's favorite sayings, "Reality sucks, live in fiction" and since livinginfiction was taken, my friend (who was helping with the crisis) and I added an 's.' Voila. Seven years later, it's the only username i have online. XD

2. Any side blog?

Three, actually. We've got @merthurismycrack where I reblog Merthur shit, @samspsychicpowers for some SPN stuff, and the side blog that's basically my main blog at this point: @asterekmess which is where all my Teen Wolf and Sterek stuff goes.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Uhhh, I've been on this blog since August of 2014, but my old blog was started in....March 2013. I've been around a fucking while.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

HA. Fuck no. Do I look that organized? Y'all get three hours of spam reblogs, and then I disappear into the aether. How it should be. XD

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

This is essentially the same as I said for question one. Sister found the old blog, and I needed a new one. I tend to make my side blogs for more pointed material, so that my main blog can have like...the amalgamation of general stuff i like, and then I can keep the fandomy content more concentrated into the side blogs.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Originally, I did not have this icon. I had this pic I found online with these Beautiful bronze wings against a black background. But then, around the time I decided I wanted to sort of...simplify things and make my username for my online stuff all the same, with all the same pfp's so that I was easily recognized, etc, I realized that....that picture was not mine. I didn't design it or anything. And i couldn't find its source to ask for permission to use it. And it started making me feel shitty for using it in the first place. So I spent like an hour and a half trying to make my Own Wing pic to use, and failed miserably. As a last ditch effort, i went through my 'artistic' photos on my phone and found this one. I adore sky pics, and cloud pics, etc, so it was super my thing, and I just slapped it on there. Still not sick of it. XD I also went to my side blogs and changed out the pfp's for photos that I'd taken, except the sterek blog, because that one is literally just a black triskelion on a white background, and it's a pretty non-specific thing. I would have used a picture of my Own Tattoo, but it's very hard to get a picture of my back that doesn't have weird lighting, and I'm just too lazy.

7. Why did you choose your header?

All my headers are also photos that I've taken or art pieces that I've made. In the case of this blog, it's a picture I made with a 'galaxy maker' online thingy. I love green. I love blue. Ta dah. In general i just try to find something that gives me the right vibes or has the right color palette to match what it's for. (orange and blue for sterek, trees for merlin, and wings for spn)

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

On this blog? I.....just spent two hours digging through all my posts tagged 'personal' bc i wanted the post that I MADE with the most notes...and i have no idea. I mostly respond to other posts, rather than making my own. The highest note count i can find is a post i made abt having friends that aren't in your fandom, which means you can use inspirational quotes to help them through tough times without them realizing ur quoting doctor who or something. 22 notes. *fingerguns* I'm famous, i know.

9. How many mutuals do you have ?

Is...is that a thing i can check?? or do you expect me to hand count??

10. How many followers do you have right now?

Uhghhghghgh, this blog has 439 at the moment, and i'm pretty sure not a lot of those are porn bots, bc i usually screen new followers for it. a lot of them have come over from my sterek blog though.

11. How many people do you follow?

hehe....uh...36.....one of which is my husband....

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I don't even know what the requirements for something being a 'shitpost' are....but i think no?

EDIT: I Take it Back, I just found a post I made with "Hot Take: PIneapples are an honorary citrus fruit" and I believe that counts? So YES.

13. How often do you use tumblr?

Uh, nearly every day, multiple times a day. Sometimes i forget it exists for a couple days, though. It's my only social media. I dont use twitter or facebook or instagram. I Have Accounts, but I literally dont open those apps more than once a month.

14. Did you have a fight /argument with another blog ? Who won?

My sterek blog gets in fights more often than it should. XD I'm feisty. And I dunno who wins, i think no one. it's tumblr. there's no real winning or losing.

15. How do feel about “ you need to reblog this” post?

Oh 90% of the time I'll fucking ignore it on principle. I come to tumblr to enjoy myself and escape. I refuse to guilt the shit out of myself and my followers for not reblogging something deemed Essential. I don't care how deep the topic is or how heavy. Sometimes that's WHY I'm not reblogging it, because I don't want that shit on my blog. The other 10% of the time, I'll go to most recent reblog that Doesn't have the guilty shit on it, and then reblog that.

16. Do you like tag games?

It sounds narcissistic, but I like being tagged in them and doing them. I just Really Really Really hate tagging anyone else.

17. Do you like ask games?

Yup, I think they're fun, though I really don't think anyone wants to know this much about me.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Uhhh...I have no clue. I think...I think I might be the tumblr famous mutual, or at least my sterek blog is....

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Yup. My husband.

20. Tagged?

Uh, no one. makes me anxious. XD If someone wants to do it, go ahead and claim i tagged you, i promise no one'll call ur bluff.

#personal #tag game #go for it

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strykingback · 4 years ago

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Ok... Gotta say my Farewell to Vol 8. So If you dont like what Im about to say best click off now or ignore it.

Ok so you decided to click on it, Alrighty brace yourself

This entire Arc was just fucking horrendous. No joke, this entire arc was just garbage entirely, no joke. The way how they made Ironwood into a cartoon villain making him into some albeist joke of people who are diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, Actual Amputees’, etc. This was meant to be A FUCKING WAR ARC!!!

Which means I expected these few things from this Arc even though I was not watching it.

- Plenty of Character Deaths ranging from Main, Secondary, and Tertiary Characters.

- Stakes at An All New High.

- Characters being forced to make tough decisions or risks that fail or pay off.

- Uneasy Alliances being forged.

- Tensions between Team RWBY, Ironwoods Group, and Salems.

-SALEM TEARING ATLAS AND MANTLE A NEW ONE.

- THE VILLIANS ACTUALLY FUCKING WIN THIS VOLUME.

Instead We Got:

-Ruby’s Group BEING INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE LIKE IN VOLUME 5 BARELY DOING FUCK ALL!!!

- Ironwood being “villainized” even further instead of turning him into a morally-grey villain.

- Team RWBY “winning” through plot armor and bad writing like the Mary Sues they are.

- Bumbleby Ship-Baiting... AGAIN. (Seriously. . . fuck off) (No hate to anyone who ships BB but at this point it was seriously getting annoying and tiring)

- Salem Just Getting Merked... NOT ONCE FOLKS. BUT TWICE!!!

- The Hound Getting Merked.....

Seriously no joke, this was such a bullshit, deadbeat volume. No joke it makes me so frustrated to see that this entire Volume was fucked up to no end. Yangs and Rubys argument did not feel like an actual fucking argument.

What I expect from an argument was four things.

- Calling them Out On Their Actions.

- Person A and B Debating About their Actions/Decisions which said argument intensifies.

- Person A or B Starts a fight after saying something that pisses one of them off

- Fight Between A and B, Totally Optional to have a bystander such as C or D end the Fight.

Instead we get....a simple Argument that barely intensifies and only has Yang calling Ruby out on her abilities being a leader of a team. We should have Ruby also calling out Yang for sharing the information to Robyn and her “Happy Huntresses.” Which should’ve escalated to the point where Ruby says. “Well that Gung-Ho Attitude is what caused you to lose your Arm!!”

or Yang saying:

“Well If you didn’t decide to...Oh I dont know have our faces pasted on EVERY VIRTUAL BOARD IN ATLAS FOR YOUR SHIT DECISIONS!”

Not to mention to have Blake ,Weiss, and the Rest of ORNJ just look in awe or shock.... at seeing them argue to the point where they start fighting SERIOUSLY THATS WHAT A FUCKING ARGUMENT IS MEANT TO FEEL LIKE IN A WAR ARC!!!!

Moving on from that... anyways Cinders Past was just so so so SO LAZY.....

No joke her past was so boring it was to the point where I found it just uninteresting at all. Yet that brings up a good point hat I said once and I will say again. “How Come the FNDM praises Women that get beaten and show love to them rather than Men who also get abused like Adam whose EYE WAS BRANDED and MERCURY WHOSE LEGS WERE BROKEN BY THE FEMUR NO LESS.”

No joke for her it was just... a shock collar and she was berated verbally.....You know this actually makes Ellie from Last of Us Part 2 Look Better than Cinders. (Yeah I went there!)

Like if you want to do Twisted Cinderella with some RWBY Vibes.... heres how you do it.

- Have Cinder be in Awe at the Sight of a Huntsman or Huntress fighting which inspires her to be a Huntress when Reeves finally tells her she can be one.

- Show that Reeves does care about her and when he falls ill and dies Cinder is berated even more by the twins and the proprietor where she was enslaved.

- What Finally causes her to snap and kill everyone was when she finds out her “sisters” burned her Academy Approval letter on their mothers order causing her to kill and murder which she is later on arrested and then bailed out by Watts who leads her to Salem.

Seriously DO IT FUCKING RIGHT ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO CINDER WHOSE PAST WAS IN SHADOWS FOR 8 WHOLE FUCKING YEARS.

8 YEARS AND YOU DROP IT LIKE A RAW PIECE LAMB CHOP!!!

Finally SALEM. Oh God how did they fuck up with Salem?! I will admit there was some moments that spooked me. However it was not enough to make me feel nervous for the characters as a whole.

Like for example I expected her to wipe the floor with Atlas’ forces and just seriously showing destruction and chaos arriving. Instead last season it looked like she was JUST APPROACHING THE CITY.

Which would have been a “Race Against The Clock/War” Volume since Salem would have begun her destruction of Atlas and even forcing her way into Atlas.... and then suddenly Hazel performs a Heel-Face-Turn that suddenly screams BS because seriously he should’ve had some sort of a better redemption that felt built up, then she gets BURNED THEN NUKED BY OZPINS MAGICAL CANE OF SUPERPOWERED BULLSHIT. Which Held enough magic to unleash it....which could have been used during the BATTLE OF BEACON. However, I wont complain about it why?

Cause, I think the major reason is because If he were to use it in there he would be revealing Beacon’s Relic Vault as well to Cinder which she can use to open it and take the Relic of Choice. Which I believe was a pragmatic choice because you also have to think of the people who are still trying to escape or evacuating at the moment.

Now the ultimate disrespectful thing the CRWBY did for their “Design a Grimm” contest was the Sulfur Fish.

THIS DESIGN WAS SICK, AND THE ABILITIES WAS JUST JAW DROPPINGLY COOL!

However what does CRWBY do instead of giving a Full Scene where we see its Forms or attacking other soldiers/people.

It gets... *Drumroll*

A Cameo sequence...thats it. A Cameo....Wow CRWBY you are shit. Just absolutely shit at writing and even giving the winner of the Design-A-Grimm Contest Winner an actual shot...while you overwork your animators giving Anxiety Disorders or PTSD. Great Show.

TL;DR: RWBY Volume 8 was one of the most boring, shittiest, and a snoozefest of a volume with such bad writing that it makes even watching The Last of Us Part II look good!

If you are planning on dropping RWBY let me offer you an Alternative.

Say hello to Meta Runner! A series that I find to be a favorite of mine and one that is actually better than RWBY’s garbage ass bullshit writing.

To give you a brief synopsis, This series follows Tari a girl who wakes up in Silica City without any memory of what has happened except some brief flashbacks. To which TasCorp the antagonistic corporation seeks to use her for entertainment, while there is a mystery element about a famous gamer gone missing... and its up to Tari and the help of a Resistance force to find out this mystery.

This series is done by Glitch Studios which many do know them as...drumroll please! *drumroll*

The Youtubers SMG4! Who is well known for doing GMOD Shitposts!

Its actually quite relieving to see a series that these two brothers actually want to share with us! They dont want to do it for money or for anything just for the sake of a good story!

AND THATS WHAT I LIKE!

Oh did I forget to mention that Meta Runner is backed by: Epic Games

Crunchyroll

AMD Lastly.... and hold onto your butts...

THE AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT!!!

You know you hit it big WHEN THE GOVERNMENT BACKS YOUR SERIES!!! Come On you cant help but smile at that! So far the Third Season is being worked on at the moment but no release date at the moment so it could be sometime this year or next year.

So if you have any plans on watching that I highly recommend giving it a watch. Anyways

Fuck RWBY Volume 8. Fuck the Canon. Fuck Everything about RWBY!

#RWDE #Is this RWDE

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azoraahai · 5 years ago

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hi hello, it’s your fav chaotic disaster here! since it is nearing the end of the decade/2019 here ( i know some of y’all are already enjoying the new year bc timezones lol ) but i just wanted to take the time and mention a few peeps that really kept me grounded this year. this is not a follow forever bc im lazy as fuck so pls enjoy this mess of me rambling lol!

even if you aren’t tagged, there are special mentions for each group im under so please read if you have the time! please note that each and every single one of you has made 2019 so much better cuz we all know it was hella rough so im very thankful for all of you!

this is hella long so everything will be under the cut :)

oc mutuals ⤵

my one and only :: @daisyjohvson my ride or die, my best friend, my beautiful sister, my other half. there are no words that could articulate how much you mean to me. you are my person and nothing could ever change that. i know we both have been busy this year, but im so glad we always do our best to chat no matter what time it is for us. you are my everything and i adore and love you so fucking much. i hope 2020 will finally be the year we meet after being friends for almost five years. i wish you the best of luck for the start of a new decade babe xx.

satanic bitches 2/3 :: @freakingbradleys @fleetwoodmcs god, it still blows my mind that my two idols talk to me on a daily. amanda, kayla, you guys have brought such a new perspective into my life and i cannot thank either of you enough for it. you guys are so encouraging, thoughtful, amazing, and supportive. i know i can tell you guys anything and you would be super honest with me and i cannot explain how much i appreciate that. thank you both for enduring the mess of 2019 with me.

my chaotic twin :: @emiliachrstine emilia, my love, it has been a pleasure talking with you via tumblr and snapchat facetime. you have brought so much laughter in my day while i was at college and i am 100% sincere when i say i needed those talks sO MUCH! you know some of the challenges i was facing so i just wanted to say thank you for being so fun to talk to and always listening to my endless ranting ( especially the cLASS SIX FELONY bit ). im so thankful we got closer this year and i love you so so so so soooo much bb!

the enabler buddy :: @moirei first of all, i cant believe how much we’ve been talking recently! i’ve always wanted to talk to you more and im highkey upset that it took me this long to reach out to you again, but anyways, as john mulaney would say, tHe PaSt Is ThE pAsT. thank you for letting me ask you sooooo many questions about sw, enabling me with all of these spur of the moment ideas, and for being such a wonderful friend! you are so kind, encouraging, and helpful! thank you so much for everything bb!

long lost sister :: @nellie--crain rachel, honey, you are a light in my life. anytime you message me, i already feel 100000x happier. you are like an older sister to me and i love you to the moon and back! i love all of your ocs and our xovers so much ( especially robeck bc otp ) and i hope we come up with more stuff in the near future! i hope 2020 graces you with so much happiness and joy, my love!!

some of my ride or dies :: @chlobenet @peterparcour @hopemikaelsvns @thetenthdoctorscompanion @drewtanner @princes-jasmine @aaudace @killinbills thank you all for being so amazing, talented, and wonderful! you all have played a significant part in my 2019 and i hope you all know that!! y’all are so awesome seriously xx

the rest of my oc mutuals :: thank you guys for sticking around as my hyperfixations constantly change once i find a new thing lol. i hope to chat with you all some more in 2020 and the years to come! please remember that each and every one of you is talented, creative, and beautiful! i wish you all the best of luck for this upcoming year and know that i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

giffing mutuals ⤵

the other half braincell :: @yelenabelovaa fleur, my darling, what an honor it is to be your wife! we got so close sO FAST and i cant imagine my life without you. you’re the jake to my tom, and if that doesn’t explain how chaotic we are then idk what does. thank you for being there right away when my dog died unexpectedly like i cannot tell you how much i appreciated you on the phone with me until someone irl was there to help me. thank you for always being so selfless, kind, and an incredible friend. i love you so much and let’s hope we get to meet in 2020!!!

goddess of parallels :: @andthwip the fact that you follow me is still absolutely mind blowing! also the fact that you tag me in your gifs is eVEN MORE mind blowing! i’ve admired your work for quite a while and let me just say, your ideas are unmatched!! you have such an eye for detail like no one can do what you do!! thank you so much for being a great mutual and i hope 2020 will be a wonderful start of the decade for you xx

the clown :: @robertpattisons okay dont hate me for putting the clown lol its just your icon and i had to im sorry lmao!! anyways, laiba, hi bb! you are such a talented gif maker and im so glad we became mutuals this year! thank you for being so nice, helpful, and a great friend!! i love you lots and have a great 2020!!!!

chaotic duo :: @colins-farrells sakshi, darling, idk if i ever mentioned this to you but you made me feel so comfortable with my blog. i looked up to you and your amazing chaotic posts and i just wanted to thank you for that! you truly are amazing and ily bunches xx i hope 2020 will be epic for you!!

some of my amazing giffing mutuals :: @lzzieolsn @luke-skywalker @ageofultron @brolinjosh @rosiebetzler @bitony you all are so fucking talented like seriously!!!! thank you all for following my trash can of a blog bc i have admired ALL of you from afar and im still in shock about it!! i hope 2020 blesses you all with happiness, success, and joy!!! i love and adore each and every one of you!!!

the rest of my giffing mutuals :: thank you all for being so fucking nice to me! i only began giffing regularly at the beginning of this year and i made SO many wonderful mutuals ( aka you guys ) because of it! you all have been so helpful and supportive of me and i am so fucking grateful for that!!! 2020 is a new year and the start of a new decade for us!! i wish all of you can enjoy this new beginning!!!

to all of my followers ⤵

hi hello! if you got this far down, congrats!!! i just wanted to say i fucking love you guys so damn much!! no matter what im doing, my current hyperfixation, the ENDLESS amount of shitposting, y’all willingly stick with me and i seriously can’t thank you enough! i know i say that so much, but it’s honestly 100% true! i’ve reached INCREDIBLE milestones because of all of you!! so seriously, thank you! 2020 is a fresh start so let’s make this year fucking amazing!!!

#still have an hour left of the decade but happy new year to those already in 2020 #i love all of u and i hope u all know that #enjoy the header of the best baby ever #joey talks

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 6 years ago

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oh? Typhon?

hell yeah

Here’s some transcripts and speculation

i want you guys to imagine these with a very thick new york accent.

Recording 4: “I remember the day I arrived on Promethea. Those buildings looked so majestic! I was so busy sky-gazing that a thief stole the pants right off my keister! Promethea’s no Pandora, but a city is still plenty dangerous! I knew this was the sorta place I would either find my destiny or die in a gutter! And thanks to my partner slash nemesis, Azlan DeVega, Promethea was almost both!”

Recording 5: “I thought a city like Promethea would be crammed full of opportunity. But, actually, it was a tinderbox of violence and greed. Corporations were pulling out, calling the joint a dead end. People were starving! Eating stone soup and boiled rats to get by. But, somehow, I survived. It was a real wrong place at the right time type of situation. You know, sometimes the trick to being successful is just staying in the game longer than the other guy.”

Recording 3: “Azlan DeVega: my partner slash nemesis. He talked a big game, but there was a reason why he was down on his luck. He was lazy! But I was hungry to prove myself. Then, one time, we were wandering through the Quazmarian Quarry and I fell through some brittle rock! Azlan calls down: “Nice knowing ya, Deleon!”, grabs my stuff, and splits! Well, I had to find another way up. And, bam! That’s when I found the Vault! I guess the moral is: sometimes you gotta fall before you make it big.”

Recording 1: “I saw the key just sitting there in front of the Vault. Good thing I didn’t open it! I gave the Vault Key to Atlas, got a butt-load of cash and the rest is history! Anyway, as soon as I made my money, who shows up at my door but Azlan DeVega? Sayin’ that I owe him half of the cut! Baloney! I was on my own, and after that, whenever someone wanted to find Eridian ruins, they called me! Typhon Deleon! The first Vault Hunter!”

Recording 2: “So I found that Vault! Atlas was lagging behind those other guys! They almost got wiped out during the corporate wars and were looking to rise from the ashes, like the, uh, what’s it called? The fire bird. Anyway, the Atlas CEO was getting desperate just throwing explorer(s?) at ruins. Now, I never thought growing up on Pandora would do me a lick of good, but I spent my childhood hunting Eridian ruins and that gave me the edge! How about that; Pandora is good for something!”

(I got REALLY distracted while writing this and started analyzing all the Sanctuary 3 footage we got lmao so expect a post on that soon)

So to start, I find it really interesting that Promethea already had a city on it before Typhon arrived. I had assumed the city popped up because Atlas got rich from the discovery of Eridian ruins on Promethea, but that doesn’t seem to be the case! It looks as though a bunch of different corporations all had their hands in the city, but pulled out once the going got tough.

Wild.

Ah, Azlan DeVega.

Azlan apparently means “Lion” and DeVega means “of Meadow”. This is kinda important for 2 reasons.

1. A very important lion in greek mythology is the Nemean lion, which had golden fur that was impervious to physical attacks and was the child of Typhon.

2. “of Meadow” didn’t really turn up anything of note within Greek Mythology directly, however! it did return the Epimelides, goddesses of meadows, which translates to “Protector of Sheep”. Sheep and Lions in general are usually associated with Peace, which I thought was a pretty neat connection. I wonder if Typhon is lying...

3. There’s also this neat bit of mythology here: “When a lion attacked her father's sheep, Cyrene wrestled with the lion” and “when Eurypylus was still ruling Libya, a monstrous lion was created, which was a great terror to the citizens. So Apollo sent Cyrene to kill the beast. After she succeeded, she was made the ruler of the city Cyrene”. I don’t know if this has anything to do with this story tbh but Cyrene is suspiciously similar to Tyreen lmao. Her name even means “Sovereign Queen”... Supreme queen... god queen...... I wouldn’t be shocked if Tyreen goes after Azlan DeVega and/or his descendants

So we’re 100% definitely visiting Quzmarian Quarry, right? This is somewhere on Promethea, so we’ve got a few options. Personally, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where the abandoned research base is.

I say that mostly because it looks as though there’s a door in the floor here. It’d make sense if Typhon fell somewhere and found the Vault there, that Atlas would rush on top of that and ensure nobody else was getting in.

Also, this confuses me, because in TFTBL, its mentioned that Gortys was “Atlas’s last ditch effort at opening a Vault”, but they had the opportunity here! What gives?! I imagine there was resistance, but it sounds like Typhon escaped with the Vault Key just fine, which is weird to me. I suppose if we’re considering opening the Vault being the be-all end-all then Atlas had opened a Vault on Pandora, too. It’s just that they never killed the Destroyer... since, well, y’all know what happened to Steele. And if we’re not considering the Destroyer’s Vault to be a tally in favor of Atlas, then perhaps something attacked those who 'opened’ the Vault and they could never actually access the things inside. It’s likely then, that their technological advances were due to basic Eridian treasure troves, like the one in Captain Scarelett’s DLC (y’know, just, without the Leviathan).

Furthermore, we can be certain there are at maximum 3 Vault Keys at play in BL3, and minimum there’s only 1.

The one used to open the Vault on Promethea.

The ‘Vault Map’ we see in the Holy Broadcasting Center.

And the Vault Key Lilith had in Sanctuary.

Personally, I was of the theory that the Vault Key we see in the HBC is the same Vault Key from Sanctuary. It’s literally described as a map of Vaults on other worlds, which is what Lilith discovers at the end of BL2 and obviously something happened to Sanctuary before the events of BL3. Of course, its possible this is also the Vault Key used to open the Vault on Promethea, which could mean there’s only one Vault Key (weird considering it takes 200 years to naturally charge, but considering there are Sirens about that can charge the Vault Key forcibly using Eridium, not too weird. Let’s not think about the fact that Eridium only started appearing after the opening of the first Vault for now cuz im super tired lol)

“Sometimes you gotta fall before you make it big”.

100% this is foreshadowing for the game’s story somehow and you can’t convince me otherwise.

“Whenever someone wanted to find Eridian ruins, they called me!”

I find it kinda interesting that Tannis never mentions Typhon in BL1 in any of her ECHO logs detailing her time spend on Pandora trying to find ‘evidence of alien life’, however if this is due to DAHL not wanting to use an Atlas schmuck’s info or because the writers created his character for BL3, I’m not certain. Let’s pretend it’s the first one and move on because it really bugs me that Tannis is forced to look for evidence of alien activity on Pandora when apparently Typhon grew up there and “spent [his] childhood hunting Eridian ruins”.

A reference to the “fire bird”. I know, I know, its a reference to a phoenix, but honestly? how fuckin’ cool would it be if this was actually a reference to the ‘Firehawk’? the mass murdering bounty hunter like the Lilith Firehawk? like if the Firehawk was actually a mythological thing in the borderlands universe. I mean, there’s a pistol called Firehawk in BL1 (y’know, before Lilith starts her cult), so I wouldn’t put it past them to pull that shit. It would kinda make sense for the bandits (who are usually DAHL workers in the first place) to start worshiping the Firehawk as a god if there was a precedent for it already. Even better if it was a dude god, which, outside of Jack not knowing Lilith was alive, could explain her usage of the voice changer.

As for my shitpost? Because you all knew it was coming....

Tannis, Tyreen, and Troy are all descendants of Typhon Deleon in one way or another.

Look at that poster. You tell me it doesn’t look like he’s wearing that giant-ass feather collar Troy’s got going on.

All their names start with T (oh, such compelling evidence I have here, I know!)

Tannis and Typhon both have yellow goggles

Typhon is basically known as the father of all monsters lmao and he worked with Atlas and baby you KNOW im in love with the Atlas and the Calypsos theory. maybe perhapeth they used Typhon’s dna or his cryo-frozen body to create the twins and thats why they believe the vaults are their birthright, hmmmm?

but hey maybe that’s just because he helped lead to the opening of the first Vault which, y’know, lead to the opening of all the other Vaults. all of which house Vault Monsters

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #typhon deleon #typhon

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nancywheelxr · 6 years ago

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if I could save time in a bottle

"Alex needs a break.

No, really. She has so many accumulated vacation days, she could take the month off to hole up at her place and only open the door for the delivery guy bringing her takeout.

Because this, this, is above her pay grade.

“What is this?” She asks because someone, someone, in this high-level military facility has got to know. “Well?”

From outside the room, Brainy bangs– no, sorry, knocks– on the glass doors again. “If I may, Director–”

“You may not,” Alex cuts him off, because it’s almost noon and she’s heard at least four version of that particular speech already."

or, Winn manages to shitpost through space and time, Brainy learns an inside joke all on his own, as told by Alex, who mostly just wants to quit on this whole babysitting gig

Alex needs a break.

No, really. She has so many accumulated vacation days, she could take the month off to hole up at her place and only open the door for the delivery guy bringing her takeout.

Because this, this, is above her pay grade.

“What is this?” She asks because someone, someone, in this high-level military facility has got to know. “Well?”

From outside the room, Brainy bangs– no, sorry, knocks– on the glass doors again. “If I may, Director–”

“You may not, ” Alex cuts him off, because it’s almost noon and she’s heard at least four version of that particular speech already. “We talked about this. Indigo could travel through the Internet. We’re not taking any chances.”

“Yes, but–”

She levels him with the kind of glare that used to make Winn spout whatever nonsense he had been told to keep from her, and it works, mostly, as Brainy stops himself with a chagrined face, and Alex ignores the aching on her chest reminding her Winn isn’t here anymore. “You are going to stay away from this thing until we figure out if it’s safe or not, got it?” He rolls his eyes, but nods, fidgeting awkwardly on the doorway. Good enough. She knows how to pick her battles. “Great. Now, anyone wants to start talking?”

One of the scientists, a nervous-looking woman, straightens from where she had been examining the sealed cylinder and adjusts her glasses before speaking up, “I believe this is made from some sort of metallic alloy, possibly ferrite, but we are still identifying its components.”

“It’s a faraday cage,” Brainy calls loudly from the hallway, “possibly made out of dark ferrite– an alloy of ferrite with an alien metal that will not be discovered until the 27th century, but I should not tell anything else, as Mon-El says spoilers . But it’s still considered in the 31st century as the most effective material to protect against electromagnetic fields.” He pauses, head tilting slightly to the side, and Alex sighs. “It would shield whatever is inside from any external interference in any wavelength,” a nod to himself, “therefore, I determine it safe from any technological tampering. I shall take it from here!”

So above her pay grade. The team of scientists handling the cylinder all glance at each other, sharing uncomfortable looks.

Before Brainy could override the door locks and stride in the lab, Alex jabs a finger in his direction. “Whoah, there.” The last thing they need is for Brainiac’s AI plague to infect the past too, or, worse, infect Brainy, after he willingly marooned himself here to escape it. Kara would be upset. Lena, too. And even Alex, she supposes, would miss him. “Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely,” he says, once the doors slide open, “I calculate a lower than 0,012% chance of this being infected with Brainiac-1’s plague. It is, as you would say, as safe as it gets.”

Alex would most definitely not say that, but you know what? Fine. It’s not like any of their scientists were having any luck in opening the cylinder or figuring out what it was supposed to do. It’s probably not a bomb. She really hopes it’s not a bomb. “Don’t take it out of confinement,” she warns him, just in case, because he’s got the same look on his eyes that Kara and Winn would get before going off to do something stupid. “And be careful, we still don’t know who sent this, or how.”

Brainy waves her off absently, already sitting down at one of the workbenches to take a look at the thing. Since it had been brought to the DEO early this morning, after landing somewhere near Shelly Island, Brainy had been tinkering around with it, but when it became clear it had somehow come from the future, Alex had declared it quarantined.

She had to admit it, though, the baffled look on his face as he recognized the strange object had been deeply satisfying. His subsequent sulking– no, sorry, a twelfth-level intellect being does not sulk– as she banned him from the lab, on the other hand, had nearly driven her up the wall.

Now, Alex only sighs again, there’s so much paperwork she should be doing instead– she understands, now, the tired, long-suffering way J’onn always carried himself. She’d say it comes with the job, but she’s pretty sure it’d looked a lot less fond before Kara and the others. “Brainy–”

Whatever it is she had been about to say, she’s not sure herself, dies before it’s even fully formed, because the cylinder shrieks with the terrible high-pitched cry of metals creaking, startling Brainy into dropping it on the tiled floor with a loud clank. The room holds its breath as it rolls lazily in a circle and one of the ends drops down like a lid.

“What did you do?” Alex narrows her eyes at the alien, ignoring the scientists looking around like spooked gazelles. She swears to god, they should be more used to bizarre things falling down from the sky by now. And, besides, if it were a bomb, it would have already gone off.

Once again, the conversation is cut short by the cylinder acting up. From inside it, what looks like a small pebble rolls out, stopping a few feet away and unfurling and beeping loudly.

Okay, maybe she should reassess the bomb thing–

“Captain's Log, Stardate 43198.7,” Winn’s voice carries before the image can shimmer into life, glimmering as the hologram is projected against the wall. The tiny projector whirrs and it comes sharply into focus, showing Winn sitting on Brainy’s chair at the Legion Cruiser, still wearing the clothes he left on, but a delighted grin is splitting his face, even as he struggles to keep a serious, somber expression. “We have entered Klingon Space, but no signs of enemy ships as of yet. Lieutenant Ardeen, status report?”

“All clear, Captain,” the camera pans out, showing Imra sitting at one of the stations, also fighting off a smile, and saluting Winn with the wrong hand. Then, she gasps in obvious fake surprise, “oh no. It seems we picked up a distress signal!”

“We must answer it!” Winn says, dramatically spinning on his chair, “it is our duty and our mission, to boldly go where–”

The image shakes, going out of focus for a second, and Mon-el walks into view, his cape fluttering behind him. He stands in front of Winn, looking between him and Imra, clearly trying to hide his own amusement, “guys, come on. Star Trek again?”

“It is fun,” Imra shrugs, her laughter echoing like wind chimes in the spaceship, “Winn has shown me this– what it is called? TV shows! And it’s absolutely delightful! And we do have another hour until we reach Earth again.”

“Yeah, man,” Winn leans back on his chair, uselessly trying to grab the smooth sides when it sways, and coughing awkwardly to mask it. “Relax, okay? It’s on autopilot, look.” He waves the blue controls madly around in his usual flailing, “this baby is going straight to Earth, 31st century, no pitstops, not even for snacks– by the way, why is there no food in here? And by that I mean, junk food, not whatever that is on the– I’m assuming it’s the fridge?.”

“There is no autopilot–”

“Whaat? Dude, of course there is, that’s like the first thing people build in any kind of vehicle no matter what century it is, trust me, people are lazy.”

“Yes,” Imra comes to stand beside Mon-el, still smiling, “I think I have seen Brainy use it before as well.”

“But,” and now Mon-el frowns like he’s being told Christmas was canceled, “he said there was no autopilot, that’s why I couldn’t drive it!”

“Well,” Winn drawls, drawing out the vowel in the annoying way he always does and Alex absolutely does not miss, “seems like your bro just doesn’t trust you with his ship. I mean, this is a pretty sweet ride. Like, the Porsche of ships, probably. Although, I haven’t seen that many ships, so, I can’t really judge right now, so, yeah.”

“I think it is because of the time Mon-el crashed the old cruiser into a moon,” Imra nods sagely, patting her– husband? Ex-husband?– comfortingly on the shoulder. “Neither Lyle nor Brainy have quite forgotten about it yet.”

“That was not my fault–”

Then, the camera catches Winn’s attention, causing him to squint at it, “I think this is actually recording, hang on.” He takes it to examine it and Alex leans back as the close up of his face is projected on the wall, followed by the shining white floor of the ship, but, because it’s Winn, he keeps talking, “where is it, where is it, come on. Who had the brilliant idea to delete the tiny red light? How am I supposed to know– it is! It’s recording! Ha, look, we’re vlogging! Hey, you know what we should do? We should send it to–”

It cuts off there, the small projector whirrs again, beeps, and curls back into a ball.

And Alex is left staring at the blank wall, trying to process everything.

She isn’t sure if she wants to laugh or to cry, so her body settles without her permission on chuckling wetly, her chest aching in the familiar way it always does when she lets herself admit that Winn had been Kara’s friend first but he had wormed his way into her heart like an annoying little brother she never got to have, and now she misses him fiercely.

Brainy is the first to move, bending down to pick up the tiny projector, and now that Alex feels less like a balloon is about to burst on her lungs, she notices she and Brainy are the only ones left in the room. He frowns down at it, and Alex remembers, suddenly, of his confession that he too misses his friends. “I do not understand what these Star Treks are, but I assume it is yet another movie reference,” he sets it down on the workbench beside the cylinder and the lid, “or what vlogging is. But I believe we should call Supergirl and the others?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Alex shakes her head, pulling up her phone to text them, “they will want to see this. I can’t believe Winn sent a message from the future.”

“I have to admit I am surprised as well,” Brainy says, his hands forming the triangle in front of him in his usual way, “although, I suppose there is little reason for us to be. I would not have sent Winslow to take my place in the Legion if I did not believe him to be remarkably qualified for the task.”

That gives her pause. That was a compliment if she’s ever heard one, and coming from Brainy it’s practically high praise. She’s not sure she’s seen him talk about anyone like this, except maybe Kara, and that’s mostly because Mon-el instilled some hero worship for her in all the legionnaires. “Is that so?”

“Indeed,” he nods, the suspicious tone in her voice clearly going way over his head. Alex wonders if she should outright ask him about it, but dismiss the idea. If anyone had asked her about Maggie before she had come out, she would have denied it until she went blue in the face. Maybe waiting it out is the best right now, especially considering, well, their situation.

She’s still mulling over it, when Brainy huffs a laugh, which is a strange sight all in itself, as humor is more often than not completely lost on him. He notices her confused look and laughs again, gesturing the cylinder, “I believe this is what you would call an inside joke, is it not?”

Her lips twitch. “An inside joke?”

“Yes!” He gestures the projector, “it is a message,” then the cylinder, “on a bottle!”

The memory of Kara’s dangerous mission to Fort Rozz, so many months ago, when they were all still learning how to work with each other, is hazy, fogged by her worry over Ruby and the bone-drenching fear her sister had barely escaped with her life. She hadn’t been there at the time, busy looking after Ruby, but she remembers Winn smirking victoriously as he told her the story afterward over the rim of a beer bottle at the bar.

But knowing Winn, and knowing Brainy, Alex thinks he might be right on this. It sounds like the kind of unnecessarily complicated joke he’d enjoy. So, she smiles what she hopes is a supportive smile, “well, look at you, making inside jokes, already!”

Brainy clears his throat, seemingly unfazed, but Alex’s been working with him for the past couple of months, she can see the proud set of his shoulders and the pleased look on his eyes, image inducer and all. “This is fairly new for me, I confess I’m not sure how to proceed.”

These people are going to be the death of her, Alex is sure. She might not have Kara’s bleeding heart, but come on. “Usually, here on Earth,” she tells him, “when we get a message– a letter, an email, anything like that– we answer. So, I’m assuming if Winn can send us a message, we can send him something back?”

“It would be logical, yes,” he agrees, twisting the lid back to close the cylinder, its walls seemingly smooth again. “If one possessed the knowledge of how it worked in the first place, that is.”

Hold on. “You don’t know how to he did it?” Oh man, Winn would never let him live it down if he were here. “But can you figure out a way?”

“Of course,” Brainy scoffs, sending Alex a look that said exactly what he thought of her doubting his ability to know everything that is to know under the sun. Under all the suns. “It will not take long, I need only to run a few tests, trace what kind of radiation it encountered on the way, perhaps– I shall investigate further on my lab!” Alex narrows her eyes, and he backtracks, “in a lab! An entirely arbitrary laboratory in this facility, chosen completely at random out of the fifteen different workrooms presently active on this building, and not, say, on a lab appropriated for personal researches and experiments.”

Alex raises one eyebrow, “of course not,” she fights off a smile, swallowing down her amusement. “That would be something I’d have to report to Colonel Haley, and she would have it shut down.”

“Which would be an unfortunate ordeal, yes,” he clears his throat again, squinting at her in a way that Alex thinks he might not have completely understood what she meant, but maybe gotten a general idea. “I must start now, then.”

The glass doors slide open, and Alex watches as Brainy gathers the cylinder on his arms as if he’s afraid it will shatter at the slightest touch, and winces when he leaves, announcing in a loud voice, “ah, this completely random laboratory is adequate, I shall use this one!”

Alex wonders if she can assign herself a week of license, it doesn’t even have to be paid.

#brainy #querl dox #supergirl #winndox #brainiac 5 #alex danvers #winn schott jr #supergirl fic #look #i have feels #and i live for brainy and alex's friendship

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onebizarrekai · 7 years ago

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Okay okay, but personally, I have a really hard time getting a proper grasp on Cross' character? I know he can be extremely goofy from snippets we've seen from his past, but the majority of the time, we've seen him dealing with some pretty heavy shit and not taking it well. I try to give him some impulsive and whimsical moments when I write him, but he usually comes out pretty serious anyway. There's just not that much canon stuff to go on when it comes to his more chill side.

On the contrary, I think I have a pretty good grasp on his character, at least as good of one as I can get with what I have.

Cross is impulsive as hell. Consistently, he makes decisions based on how he feels in the moment and never thinks anything he does through beforehand. (Examples: Attacking people who get in his way or whom he thinks is bad news. Trying to steal Overwrite without understanding how it works. Suddenly trusting Chara. Deciding that he’s better suited to look like a bad guy and adopting the title of X-Event. Basically throwing temper tantrums on a regular basis. Turning his back on Ink just because he found out that Ink can’t help him with his universe.)

He assumes that he understands more than he does. Kind of tying in with his impulsiveness, Cross constantly makes decisions based on his own assumptions rather than actual fact. And he assumes that those theories of his are truth until someone tells him otherwise–after which he tends to freak out and start the hating the person who told him otherwise.

Sometimes he just does things out of spite. He didn’t even think Frisk’s plan to overthrow XGaster was bad, but he likes screwing over people he doesn’t like. Sure, Frisk was fricked up too, but it points towards how immature Cross is.

Yes, he’s immature, and has a very childish attitude in general. This isn’t just because of the shitposts and interactions with Epic–no, this is actually part of his personality. He regularly acts like a little kid. Doing things out of spite. Throwing temper tantrums. Trying to be all evil but just making a fool of himself in the process. Holding grudges for no reason. Clinging to things rather than just letting them go. Assuming he knows everything. Hating to lose or be wrong. He’s just… kind of a self-absorbed dick.

Cross is the very definition of an adult who never stopped being a teenager. Except he’s violent and has no one to stop him from making stupid decisions, which he makes a lot of because he doesn’t understand how to function as a mature person, especially because he wasn’t raised properly and wasn’t taught these things, but that’s another story.

Plus, it’s really obvious that he has anxiety, and it’s easy to see why. He’s got a lot of pressure on him all the time. But that’s not the reason for his flaws–he’s always had them regardless. Even with his whole “I was never trained to be lazy” line, it means that he was taught to always be on guard all the time. That’s definitely a source of ingrained stress and anxiety on its own; that and a domineering ‘father’.

And of course, Cross does have some nerdiness in there somewhere, so then comes in the whimsy and the funny stuff. He’s melodramatic and just seems like the type to make a lot of noise and to make sure everyone knows how he feels at all times, so he’s kind of a drama king. But he’s also the type to just be an asshole for no reason.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that, interpret details as you will, but he is far from a calm person. XD

#cross sans #underverse #xtale #kind of an analysis #so much teenaged angst with this guy

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coxinyoface · 6 years ago

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i usually don’t do this but it’s 4am, i’m cramping/anemic/generally in pain and out of it, i’m procrastinating, and it’s been like. probably 2 years since the last time i did one of these? so why not since i have new followers after my acpc obsession! (the reason why not is... i write too much, sorry. a couple others have tagged me recently with similar questions and i stopped myself but hey i’ll let it go this time and try to be social)

i’m not sure who else to tag. i see the top three ppl i recognize often in my notifications lately are @lonelylittlewarlock @betumbledpolaritis @lavender-aquarius so how ‘bout you guys? feel free to ignore if you’re not up for it tho

anyway:

Get to know me tag! got tagged by @sundaycrossing and @lilcasshole

Nickname: on this account most people just call me CIYF and that’s fine. i haven’t had a proper nickname in a long time and i try to keep this acc separate because. coxinyoface is not the best name to reference offline or with work/art stuff lmao.

Gender: nonbinary. they/them preferred.

Starsign: taurus.

Height: 5′3″/1.6m-ish? i’m short and fat and friendshaped i like to think.

Hogwarts house: ravenclaw or hufflepuff. when i was little i’d insist ravenclaw bc i’m a nerd who tried to persuade themselves they like school, but i’m likely hufflepuff bc i try too hard n am painfully stupidly loyal. idk. hp house discourse frustrates me.

Favorite animal: this changes frequently bc birds but today... potoo. potoos are often my favorite bc they could be my fuckin fursona and i relate deeply.

Favorite color: grey. stormy grey i think.

Current favorite song: зын зын by jokeasses. i found this through a random video of someone dancing in nosferatu drag to it months ago (thanks internet) and it’s still stuck. i keep switching between looping this, boogie by brockhampton, or yellow ferrari by mystery skulls. i can loop the same song for 10+ hours at a time. i do this bc i can have up to 5 songs stuck in my head at the same time and this somewhat cures that. it’s bad.

Ways to get creative: well. listening to music until my brain melts is one way. it’s easy to get creative but difficult to be productive, so i’d say just. trying to really really enjoy an activity, whether it’s reading, watching, or playing something, and trying to hold onto that feeling when i work on something. and then 4am binges of researching random shit that i can use to inspire myself later.

What do you do when you’re home alone: i’m either on tumblr, watching youtube, reading fanfic, or working on work art or art prints. acpc became a thing bc of lack of sleep and bird cult aesthetic n distraction. i’m currently stuck in a fic cycle of interest, it switches a lot. current fandom is HP (again) but i’ve gone into fic hell for naruto, opm, mcu, fucking anything that makes me hate myself. but then, i’ve also been reading a lot of bnha and some of that shit is actually so healthy and wholesome i cried. i want to get back into anime.

Average hours of sleep: hooo boy. it used to be 2 hours, consecutively, with maybe 4 total a day, while in college. i’m trying to fix that and i think i’m getting 3 hours consecutively and 5-6 total? i was doing great at some point last year and was somehow getting 5 consecutive hours up to 8 but. well. sleep’s a bitch and i have sleep paralysis and insomnia. today i managed to sleep maybe 5 consecutive and 15 total holy shit because i dreamed i had a heart attack and was dying and believed it (bc sleep paralysis)! in reality it was anemia fuckin me up today thanks google

Cats or dogs?: cats. sorry dogs, i love you but you have too much energy. besides i feel like cat people are dogs and dog people are cats, and i’ve worked very hard to earn my cats love so i’m loyal now lmao

Numbers of blankets you sleep with: i’m going to say pillows instead, because i live in a warm area and blankets are the mortal enemy. so--four. one to make sure i don’t smash into the wall, one for my head that i will never use as i slowly rotate like a flailing turtle on its back, one for my legs to make sure i don’t kick, and one to hug so i don’t punch.

Dream job: honestly my standards are so damn low i’d probably do any digital illustration/graphic design art job that (1)pays decently for my area where (2)the clients weren’t from hell and (3)i could work from home. like. i used to have specifics like ~concept art~ and shit but i had a good couple of work months (before some very bad ones) where one really good nonprofit client made me realize i genuinely don’t give a fuck what i do so long as it genuinely helps someone/somepeople and also helps me exist.

Dream trip: i. don’t actually want to travel much. tbh, i did japan, korea, and the philippines in one week somehow, and it killed my interest in traveling due to over-planning. if i could go back in time and do it again, maybe i’d spend more time chilling in japan? i just want lipton milk tea in those lil cartons. why can’t they make those here. and omurice. and katsu. and... ok i’d travel to japan again just for food fuck it.

Sexuality: It’s Complicated but for simplification, grey ace. i say aro-ace but go back and forth using that label because it’s useful but i can’t tell if i’m aro or just too anxious to function bc i feel like i’m somehow tricking people if they like me, and have no idea what i find attractive in the weird range of people i’ve been attracted to or to what degree i am attracted. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tbh, QPRs seem way more appealing to me because i’m just that kinda grey gay. none of this matters unless i maintain a healthier lifestyle that isn’t a hot mess or somehow get the fuck over myself tho. idk one day i’ll be more socially active again.

When did you make this account?: shit, like... 6 years ago i think? oof. a lot changes over six years. if i wasn’t lazy i’d make a new shitpost account so i could pretend to forget what an ass i was but i can’t even separate most of my interests by blog.

Number of followers: 3,050, around. it hovers back and forth due to i assume bots and ppl getting very confused. those of u here for youtubes, thanks for sticking around all these years and i’m sorry; those of u here for acpc, i’m sorry and hope you enjoy me being really mad abt acpc. i have no idea how accurate follower count really is, though; apparently my highest activity was back in 2015 and i had less than 2k then i think? fuck if i understand tumblr

anyway if you’ve somehow read through all of that thanks for listening to the ramblings of a madman hopped up on pain at 6am you’re a champ and this random online stranger loves you and wishes you a good day

#coxtalk #god this is genuinely so long looking at it i'm sorry i should never talk abt myself lmao

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