#you can say about him what you want but he has always had genuie feelings for her

[periodcostumefantasylover]

The Darkling in every episode 2x05 Shadow and Bone

[canvas-madness-txc]

Thoughts on The Song of Achilles

Spoilers

"Achilles did not slur my name as people often did, as if in a hurry to be rid of it. Instead, he rang each syllable Pat-ro-clus." This is one of the many, many lines that broke me. It says a lot about Patroclus and Achilles in only two sentences

"What has Hector ever done to me?" Well, call me, Julius Caesar, because this line has stabbed me repeatedly. I read The Iliad first, so I had expectations, but man, does it still hurt

"Some people might have mistaken this for simplicity. But is it not a sort of genuis to always cut to the heart?" I like this line a lot . It shows how close the two of them became. Also, there is some genuis in saying what you mean, regardless of simplicity.

The fact that Patroclus realizes that his father's disappointment after he is to be exiled isn't for the crime but for not being cunning enough to cover it was cruel.

Odysseus, being the smug guy he is, just in general

Achilles has the most boyish, standard teen response after Thetis tells him she wants him to be a God. It really shows the divide of human and God in him. Also the contrast is kinda funny

"There is no law that gods must be fair, Achilles." That is both the truth and probably a warning

"Name one hero who was happy. You can't."

"I can't."

"I know. They never let you be famous and happy. ... I'll tell you a secret."

"Tell me."

"I'm going to be the first. ... Because you're the reason. Swear it." Laughter morphs into uncontrollable sobbing. Oh the dramatic irony.

Patroclus saying he could identify Achilles by touch alone is just WOW

"Useless information is my curse, I'm afraid." Me too, Odysseus, me too

Odysseus talking about Penelope 🥺

Polutropos- man of many turnings is now something I'm gonna utilize more often

I have now officially scarred both myself and my friend for life with the tales of "Mighty Tydeus, King of Argos, Eater of Brains," and Tantalus' eternal torment

The banter between Odysseus and Diomedes

THE SACRIFICE OF IPHIGENIA 😭

"The goddess is appeased" CLEARLY NOT MORON

The fact that Agamemnon could anger both Apollo and Artemis is pretty impressive underneath its massive layer of stupidity (a thought that returned to me from before when I read The Iliad)

Odysseus calling Achilles "a weapon, a killer" because "you can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature" really drives home my conflicted feeling that are true for most of the Greek heroes, but specifically Achilles this time

"I hope Hector kills you."

"Do you think I do not hope the same?" THE GRIEF MY HEART

Backtracking here, but I like how Briseis and Patroclus had a close bond with each other

"I am glad that he is dead." THAT IS CRUEL WOW. AND THE FACT THAT ITS THE LAST THING SHE SAYS BEFORE HE DIES IS WOW

Pyrrhus: *exists* Me: go back to pre-algebra you're 12

I find it ironic that Pyrrhus was killed by Agamemnon's son Orestes, considering their fathers loathed each other. The dishonoring continues among generations, but reversed this time and ending with murder

THETIS LETTING PATROCLUS AND ACHILLES BE BURIED TOGETHER, HAVING BOTH THEIR NAMES ON THE TOMB AND THE BOTH OF THEM GETTING PEACE IN THE UNDERWORLD 😭

[safetycar-restart]

I'M HERE and I need to talk about the hybrid!AU with Carlos. I don't want to be too cliché, but I can only think of wolf!Carlos. I don't know if it fits much, but I feel that a wolf defines Carlos a lot.

Carlos is very hairy, a lot, and his shiny black hair has always attracted people, but many don't like the hair on his legs, arms, armpits, and chest because they consider it to look "unkempt," which obviously it's not true. And he also has lots of pubic hair, and all his previous partners told him that it's uncomfortable and he should shave.

So for a long time he shaved and waxed his entire body in order to please others and not look scruffy and unpleasant. But Carlos was never satisfied, because the hair grows in a matter of days or hours, and he feels naked.

When you met him, he really wanted you to see him as a well-groomed person who can take care of you and himself, that's what his instincts tell him. But you see through him, that's why you don't worry when a couple of days go by and Carlos can't shave or wax himself. Yet Carlos is worried, and he gets nervous when you try to have sex with him. You immediately stop all attempts because he seems uncomfortable, and Carlos is apologizing to you and swearing he's going to take better care of himself as soon as possible to be presentable to you.

You stop him at that point, and have a long conversation with him about how he feels about his body and his hair. You reassure him that his body deserves respect as it is, and that hair is part of him, that he doesn't have to worry if others see him as dirty or scruffy, because they're wrong and he deserves to feel comfortable deciding how he wants to look for himself. same. You assure Carlos that with or without body hair, he will be the most handsome man in the world, your world.

Carlos crying? A little, a little too much. He didn't even expect to cry, but he never imagined meeting someone who would make him feel that safe. And you have already shown that you love his tail and his hair, you not only accept but love his hairy body!!!

Every once in a while you help him trim his pubic hair to a level he's comfortable with, but it sure takes hours because he can't contain his happiness and wag his tail and squirm. Carlos loves that you love him and his body so much.

-🌻

OH MY GOD WOLF!CARLOS. 🌻, you are a GENUIS. This is incredible. 10000/10.

Firstly, a Wolf suits him perfectly. Not only because of his hair, but because he’s protective and loyal and fights for his family and is absolutely a pack animal. He works best surrounded by others, when there are people to support him and love him and who he can protect.

(And yes that does include you, he’s like a herding dog with you)

Carlos has never had a partner completely fine with his body hair. Sure he’s had some who don’t seem to bothered mostly, but there’s always something.

It just breaks his heart when he wants to cuddle with his partner and they won’t put their head on his naked chest because it’s too hairy. He’s perfectly fine with a partner not wanting to give him head because of pubic hair, but so many of them have pressured him into shaving, saying it’s completely unacceptable that he hasn’t.

Some have even refused to cuddle with him outright because he had too much hair. Especially a few days after he shaves, because then his hair starts to grow and it’s all spoken and uncomfortable.

He’s a wolf! He needs a pack! He needs cuddles and skin to skin, especially from the person he’s in a relationship with and so to be denied that for something he can’t control? He’s so sad. All the time.

And then he meets you, and holy fuck he loves you so so much. So much more than he’s ever felt for anyone else before and he has no idea what he would do if you turned him down.

So he always makes sure to be cleanly shaven everywhere. He literally shaved every single day. He refuses to scare you off. He will not.

But then a few days go by and he doesn’t shave. Maybe you and him go away together? You go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere and just cuddle and fuck and talk and cook ridiculous lavish meals and it’s amazing. It’s absolute heaven for Carlos’s instincts to have you all to himself like that.

And he honestly just… doesn’t get the time to shave? He’s with you the entire time, only leaving you to go the bathroom and that’s it. You shower or bath together, taking full advantage of the private outdoor shower.

Then before he knows it, he’s woken up on the third day and his hair is all prickly and starting to grow back. You haven’t woken up yet, and to his shock you’re still cuddled against his chest, seemingly not caring that the hair is starting to grow back.

After breakfast, he’s trying to figure out how to escape to the bathroom for half an hour or so to shave but he has no idea how. And he doesn’t even want to, because he wants to savour every bit of time he has with you.

You walk up behind him in the kitchen, hugging him from behind and slipping your hand under his to press your hand against his chest. You kiss his neck, clearly trying to have sex and as much as Carlos wants to, he’s scared because he thinks you’ll turn him down for the hair.

He’s had so many partners make him go shave before sex, and as much as he wants sex, he actually doesn’t want to shave? He wants to just stay with you, doesn’t want to have to work so hard to make himself presentable, wants to be accepted just as he is.

You stop of course, realising that Carlos is clearly uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to admit what’s bothering him, but he also can’t lie to you.

The next thing he knows, he’s spilling everything. Your heart just breaks when you hear what’s been going on, how his previous partners had treated him.

You love Carlos!! And you would never, ever expect him to change something about himself that he has no control over.

If he wants to shave, that’s fine. But you wouldn’t want him to think he has to for you. All he has to do for you, is be himself. That’s it. That’s all he has to do.

Before Carlos even knows what’s happening, he’s crying and not just a little either. He’s properly crying, throwing himself in your arms, even his tail is wrapped around you.

He still doesn’t quite believe you, and for the next week or so, he keeps on glancing at you as he grows his hair out again. He keeps on waiting for you to say it’s officially too long. Every night he expects you to decide you won’t sleep on his naked chest, won’t let him tangle his legs with yours, ect.

But that never happens. You act like nothing has changed, because to you, nothing has. He’s still your Carlos.

(Also uh… wolf!Carlos and bunny!charles….)

[moriiartist]

hi! can i request some pinning headcanons for mumbo? i loved your recent grian fic btw!

PINING MUMBO HCS

 ۫  ּ   ִֶָ  ࣪✦ PAIRING(S) \ C!Mumbo Jumbo x GN!Reader

 ۫  ּ   ִֶָ  ࣪✦ SYNOPSIS \ Pining HCs for our local homicidal spoon- Mumbo!

 ۫  ּ   ִֶָ  ࣪✦ WARNINGS \ Mild language

 ۫  ּ   ִֶָ  ࣪✦ A/N \ I think I missed the peak time to post this during the Mumbo Drought, but I hope you guys will still appreciate this little fic about one of my favorite block men :P (also for some reason I really thought that the song rises the moon fits this, so do with that what you will)

For Mumbo, the way he feels and expresses his care has always been something that sets him apart from the rest of the Hermits. 

Where Grian’s emotions burst and explode like fireworks, and Scar’s cheerful but mischievous presence curls like the corner of a Cheshire grin, Mumbo’s is much more unassuming.

Mumbo’s affection is slow, threading through his bones and wrapping around his heart like the gossamer-soft tendrils of an ivy vine.

Before he realizes it’s even there, the roots have burrowed so deep that it would be madness to try and imagine himself not spending the rest of his life without that care, without that friendship.

It happened with Grian, with Scar, with almost every friend he’s ever made, and… you.

With you, though, the feeling is different- it runs so much deeper than anything that could be misconstrued as platonic.

If you asked Mumbo when he fell in love with you, he might say that a part of him has always been.

Or, alternatively, he might burst into flames on the spot.

Even before he really recognized how he felt about you for what it is(which is, spoiler alert, complete and total endearment), he was still noticeably… softer, perhaps, when it came to you.

You’d have to be looking for the signs of his budding crush to notice it, but the signs are definitely there.

Stopping in the middle of his sentences whenever you had to say something, never hesitating to offer his help even when he might’ve had to put his projects on hold- just little things like that.

Some part of him is always tuned into you, your needs, whatever you’re doing.

“Mumbo! Are you out here?” you called, trotting towards where the tall Hermit had made his base, a hill that overlooked the winding river that cut through where almost all of the players had decided to settle. It had taken a lot longer than it should’ve to get the thing constructed, what with Grian determined to wax all of his copper blocks to be a nuisance, but now it stood proudly silhouetted against the limpid blue sky.

The sound of voices grew as you approached, and you picked up your pace, your focus now locked onto the small hut that Mumbo had built next to the contraption that housed all of his wealth.

“Mumbo?” you asked, poking your head in through the door. Two figures greeted you on the other side, both Mumbo and Scar huddled over a table in the middle of the room. Mumbo was the first of them to react, trailing off in the middle of whatever he was saying as he made eye contact with you. Scar wasn’t far behind.

Realizing that you had probably interrupted something important, you cleared your throat, pointedly ignoring the slight heat that had risen in your cheeks. “Oh, were you two busy? I can leave, it wasn’t urgent-”

“No, no!” Mumbo said abruptly, one hand shooting out to stop you before you could slip back through the door. “It’s alright! I’m happy to help.”

He looked a little tired, with faint circles under his eyes and his usually neatly kept hair wild like he had been running his hands through it while he thought. His suit jacket was missing, too, baring his semi-rumpled button-up shirt, which had been carelessly rolled up at the elbows.

“Are you sure?” you murmured, your eyebrows ticking down into a soft scowl. You certainly didn’t want him to feel obligated to help you out when he really didn’t need to. He looked busy enough as-is.

“It’s fine.” he asserted again, more calm this time. His eyes were genuine and pleading, and you felt your hesitation fade even as he turned to look at Scar “You don’t mind waiting for a bit while we sort this out, yeah?

The brunette shrugged, his signature cheery smirk slowly spreading across his face. His green eyes, however, were sharp as they bounced between you and the dark-haired Redstoner. “I was going to have to go feed my Jellie cat pretty soon, I don’t mind putting our plans on hold.”

A hint of relief passed over Mumbo’s face. “That sound good. Now, uh, what did you need?”

“I really didn’t mean to intrude, but I was trying to build a stasis machine and I just realized that I’m out of ender pearls…”

Grinning somewhat sheepishly, you tugged on the straps of your armor. “Well, I suppose I was wondering if I could borrow some? I promise I’ll pay you back later, maybe with an IOU? If that sounds good?”

Mumbo laughed, a slightly breathless sound, and ushered you over. “I have a few in my inventory. And I’ll be taking you on that IOU, so you might want to start regretting it.”

Rolling your eyes, you accepted the pearls he handed you, thinking nothing of the way his hands lingered a little too long on yours.

“Yeah, yeah- just don’t get to used to the power trip, mustache man.”

You’re like the Earth, and he’s a satellite bound to your orbit- but one that’s completely oblivious to its ensnarement.

Hell, it took Grian point-blank telling Mumbo he had a crush for it to even begin to register, and the second that it clicks, well…

He’s in a bit of a Crisis™

On one hand, putting a name to how he felt about you was cathartic, leaving him feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

On the other- what the hell is he supposed to do now.

It’s not like he can just act normal, right? He’s just had this huge revelation, and he’s bound to act differently, and Oh Nox, what is you figure it out-

Despite his fears, Mumbo isn’t actually all that obvious.

Sure, he’s a little more nervous around you, more hesitant to try the casual touches that you had grown acclimated to over your friendship, but again, it’s nothing you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t looking for it.

He finds himself staring at you all the time now, and not even just admiring how you look, no. One of his favorite pastimes is just watching the expressions flit across your face while you read a particularly good book, suppressing a quiet chuckle the more dramatic they are.

Mumbo just likes you, and he’s terrified about it.

Give him some time to work up the courage, but he’ll confess to you eventually.

He may be a patient man, but the sooner he can embrace you without having to worry if you can hear his thundering heartbeat through his skin, the better.

[yesimwriting]

Dying Starlight

A/n: i dont think an audience for this exists?? ik it’s not shadow and bone related, but ive been reading red queen and i wanted to try writing maven and ive been playing with this idea. umm...on the off-chance that there is an audience for this i do think of this as more of a series but i’ll probably end up deleting this lol 

(Series?) Summary: reader is a childhood friend of Mare’s who isn’t officially part of the Scarlet Guard but gets captured by Maven. As a prisoner, she feels like her mind is being messed with as she begins to see a more human side of Maven. The new King tells himself the only thing he sees in her is that she’s a way to get to Mare, but something about her genuiness is infectious. 

-- 

Irony twists things. Right now, the irony that my last thoughts might be about how I wish I had been trusted with a suicide pill twist my impending doom into something almost comical. I’d laugh, but I’d rather not startle the rats in my cell. This has been their home for presumably years, but I’ve only been down here a few hours. 

I scratch the back of my wrist, staring at tired stone walls like they’ve done something to me. I wish I knew what time it was. How long have I been down here? How long has it been since I was separated from Mare? An hour? Three?Each passing minute strikes me like a bullet, but I can’t count them. I’ve never had a talent for accurately feeling the passage of time.

My head aches, frustration and dread tangling themselves in the pit of my stomach. Mare told me the Queen can search through someone’s mind, seeing memories even they can’t remember. What will they do when they see I know virtually nothing? What will happen when they see how close Mare and I truly are? i can’t do anything and the unknown hurts more than my bruised rib. 

The sound of the heavy door that divides the luxury of the castle from the wasteland of the cells creaks. I only let my arms flinch, moving from my side to wrap defensively around my stomach. Dull footsteps echo down the pathway that lead to the cell I’m in. I don’t cringe, not even when the sound of walking stops. 

I was not born into a rich family, but I was born into a proud one. Fear was practically a criminal act in my household. I’ve been trained to suppress all signs of weakness. My eyes don’t leave the stone wall, I mentally trace the pattern of a long crack in a specific rock. It reminds me of the slope of the Big Dipper. 

Will I ever see stars again? The answer leaves a sharp pain in my chest. 

“Mare told me about you.” 

The words jar me, my stomach dropping in revulsion. Mare had trusted him, and here he stands--successful because he’s a traitor. I know what it’s like to be the most overlooked sibling and to crave to change that. I know what it’s like to want to succeed more than you want air in your lungs, but I don’t think I’d ever betray someone. I like to think that there’s a line even the monster in me won’t cross. 

I don’t look at him, partially out of an attempt to protest and partially because I’m afraid of what I’ll see. “She might have mentioned you in passing.” 

His scoff is ridiculous. “She didn’t lie about your sense of humor.” 

That almost makes me wince. His words are too close, too personal. It’s like he knows me. I turn my. head, ready to cut through the uneasy beginning to get to the miserable middle if it brings me to the end faster. 

“You’re here to torment me, not make small talk.” Turning had been a mistake. I regret it instantly. His expression is unforgiving--cold, sharp, and made up of only angles. But that’s not why I stare. I did not expect him to be objectively attractive. The fine slope of his nose, the sharpness of his cheekbones, and the ice blue of his eyes. I need to snap out of this mindset. I’m sure his beauty will not be so distracting when he’s burning me. “Though some might consider that the same thing.” 

He scoffs again, the sound dry. The sneer of his lips does not diminish his attractiveness. The fact makes me loathe him. “I wonder if you’ll still be so prone to humor after you’ve been broken--any information of worth extracted from your thoughts.” 

“Let me save everyone the trouble and just tell you everything that I know now.” My back straightens despite the pain in my ribs. I look pathetic, dirty and in a torn dress. He’s regal, dressed in fine, all black clothing. “I know that Mare wanted to kill you today, I know that she needed a distraction and that her distraction needed to be expendable, which is why I’m sitting in front of you.” I squeeze my hands together awkwardly, a bit of genuine irritation rolling in my stomach. “That’s literally all I know, I’m not even part of the Guard.” I scratch the back of my wrist. If I were him, I wouldn’t believe that, but I’m being honest. How pitiful can one person be that they’re worth more disconnected from the group they work for than as an actual member? “You don’t take that kind of risk for someone that’s only skill set is in thought.” 

I didn’t mean to say that out loud, but I don’t regret it. Maybe he’ll think that my story is so pathetic it has to be true. “You have to know more than that.” 

“The Scarlet Guard only reaches out to me on a need-to-know basis, and anything worthwhile to you is something I clearly didn’t need to know.” In a way, I’m glad I can’t give him anything. “So are you going to kill me with a bullet or do you prefer more flamboyant executions?” My death should be plain. I am human completely--I bleed red and I have no powers. “I do think anything more than a simple death is more trouble than I’m worth.” 

His lips press together oddly, something beneath his expression tightening. “You don’t think your dearest friend will return for you?”

The sarcasm in his voice sparks something in me I thought only my sister could. “I think she has a lot of responsibilities and I wouldn’t blame her for having priorities.” 

His eyebrows draw together. “I think you’re painfully unaware of how attached to you she is.” I press my lips into a thin line. “She’ll come for you.”

Something selfish in me hopes that he’s right. No one has ever wanted me enough to come back for me. My mother wanted perfect daughters that knew how to only think in terms of trapping men with stable careers. My sister did it, but I could never manage, and to my mother that made me useless. 

“If you believe it,” I mumble beneath my breath.

I don’t know if he hears me. I can’t bring myself to care if he did. “For your sake, you better not have lied to me.” 

My back relaxes against the raspy wall, fighting down a grimace as the motion irritates my rib injury. “Cross my heart, Your Highness.” 

I watch him carefully, his expression turning into something much more grim. “A King is referred to as His Majesty.” 

“My father was a prominent war general and my mother only wanted daughters she could use to social climb.” I fight down a grin. “I know what I said.” 

His expression darkens into something bone chilling. “I am the King and you’ll refer to me as such or deal with even less pleasant circumstances.” 

I fight against the urge to cower, picturing Mare’s strength in my veins. There’s weakness in everyone, and if I squint I can see the thin cracks in him. “You have everything--the crown, the power, the support of the people, and it’s still not enough. You won and you still feel like you’re competing.” 

“You don’t know anything,” he seethes, practically growling. 

I shouldn’t press him, but the more he reacts, the more weaknesses are revealed. “I know what it’s like to have a sibling that’s the sun, and no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you’re always trapped in a shadow.” 

The lighting makes his eyes look almost glazed over. “My mother will be here soon and the truth will be revealed.” 

He can run from me, but not the truth. Cal has nothing, he has everything--the father that never cared for him is dead, and yet he’s still trapped. Our similarities hurt me more than my physical injuries. 

Maven turns, his gaze moving off of me feels like the removal of heavy shackles. “It would do you well to not press me. You’re worth as much whole as you are broken.” 

There’s the strangest hint of something more to his voice. I wonder if he’s speaking to more than just me. “You haven’t won until that voice in your head telling you that you’re not enough is silenced.”

“You’re a powerless girl who isn’t even wanted by a dying cause and couldn’t find a husband to drag her above the poverty line. You know nothing about me, and if you keep pretending I’ll slaughter you in front of your dear friend.” 

He leaves without another word. I fall asleep with my back against the wall and my ribs aching. 

[the-ship-maker-2]

Hi! Do you have any headcanons for your OC's or just cool little facts about them? it's always cool hearing about other people's characters :D

I do! I have so much to say about them! But people don't really ask about my ocs or the universe that they're in. And I don't have a lot of exposure for my ocs as most people do. 😔

Tabby Anderson HCs

-the middle child of two brothers

-tomboy

-she used to be ambidextrous before she got her paralyzed left hand

-had a complicated frenemies with benefits relationship with Horatio Galloway after their little thing after the 7th grade

-because Tabby talks fast naturally she can do the fast parts of rap songs

-its her proudest achievement

-shes a jack of many but an ace of none

-she absolutely adores children because of her little brother

-she remembers what it was like being a kid being not wanted anywhere pawned off from one adult to another being used and abused because the adults could and there was nothing she could do about it.

-she refuses to be like her stepdad. So she has the compassion masked as spite for the kids. She will do everything in her power to protect, defend and stand up for them.

Chase Chasteaway

-his mom died during childbirth

-his favorite game to play as a kid in the orphanage with Connor was pretend and dress up

-is half demon

-now a ghost

-his favorite color is purple

-has religious trauma in spades

-hes very grumpy and cynical

-would have been an actor if he lived long enough

-age locked at 19

-his best friend and worst enemy is Connor Carters

Connor Carters

-very sweet and niave

-definition of a golden retriever

-wears his heart on his sleeve

-very trusting

-which is how he got himself and chase killed

-was absolutely smitten with him his entire life

-idolizes him ever since he first laid eyes on him

-his brother/best friend/ lover

-but that's long gone now

-he still begs for forgiveness in hopes one day they can both cross over

Juliet Monroe

-i love her so much I'm actually obsessed with her and making her an original character for a dark cirque book that I'm currently writing

-baby scene queen

-im talking about bright and obnoxiously colored outfits. Arm sleeved, thigh highs, Kandi all along her arms and legs and neck big fluffy poof tutus

-shes 10

-her father allows her to have this style because he feels bad for everything even though he does nothing to stop the abuse from the step mom

-he draws the line at dying her hair but as soon as she turns 18 it's over for him and she'll have rainbow hair galore

-she has a baby doll named lulu that she holds near and dear to her to this day

-its the only thing she has left of her mother

-her older brother Evan started her emo/scene lifestyle

-she still loves him despite the abuse he puts her through

Robbecca Ironwood

-16

-a genuis and gifted in robotics

-has muscular dystrophy

-wasn't supposed to make it past 6 for her life expectancy

-her father resented her for it

-he became an alcoholic and abusive towards her

-had a fnaf phase and has attempted to make the animatronics from the games

-it failed but she will die before she admits it

-is a health nut and wears armor to attempt to strengthen her muscles

-it has lead to some unhealthy habits

Amelia Lovelace

-happy go lucky

-adhd ridden and autistic

-always wanted to be a doctor since she was 8

-favorite shows are doctor who and the good doctor

-went to the same college as EJ, Smiley and locklear

-they became known as the college gang

-amelia and Smiley never officially dated but it was clear that they were a thing to the rest of the college

-EJ was her adopted son

-she joined a medical cult many years later after college

-in hopes to get her own practice and medical license back

I hope you like these and feel free to ask again!

[rainii-reads]

Chateau

DESCRIPTION: After a fateful encounter, you and Yoongi have finally decided to go public with your relationship.

This was inspired by the song Chateau by Tokio Hotel. Bolded dialogue are direct lyrics.

WORD COUNT: 1, 903 PAIRING: Idol!Yoongi x Reader GENRE: Fluff and comfort

Warnings: Implied slut shamming; analogies referencing cuts (there is no self-harming, only references to words hurting.)

Author’s note: This is my first fanfiction for BTS, and my first story in a long, long time. Hope it’s not too bad! You can also read it on AO3.

🌸

Taking up Arms: ARMY Feuds Over SUGA and Y/N

As news of BTS’s SUGA sweeps the kPop world, fans are divided. Many ARMYs citing Y/N as a clout seeker - stealing their Min SUGA. ARMY’s on the offense challenge the perceived ownership of the Bangtan rapper. This brings to question, however, do these fans approve of the relationship or are they simply defending SUGA?

The Next Yoko Ono: Will Y/N be the end of Bangtan Sonyeondan

Silence rings clearer than the stroke of the keyboard. Three weeks have passed since word broke of the famous rapper’s new relationship. The onslaught of hatred continues to poor out in droves, yet silence remains from the musician’s fellow members. Is it possible the six comrades also dislike Y/N?

Anti-Y/N Accounts Take Twitter by Storm

In the last week Twitter has taken action and began removing dozens of accounts dedicated to canceling Y/N. While Twitter works to delete the insults and threats of harm, where is Big Hit? Will they take action to protect BTS’s SUGA and his new sweetheart?

“Sweetheart?” You snapped. “And what’s with the italics – we all know you’re being sarcastic. No need to lay it on thicker.” You fumed for a moment longer, at the snippy report, before you found your laptop being pulled from your grasp. You dared not look up at the sleepy gaze of the man in debate.

“Sweetheart, why are you reading the headlines again?”

It was the truth. Your streak of laziness was something Yoongi often appreciated about you. It resulted any many home dates and working side-by-side in the Genius Lab at all hours of the day. Shared moments you loved. However, you couldn’t handle any more inquires from that man, he had been unyielding for days, and you were slowly breaking.

“Excuse me, are their free refills on black coffee?”You had asked, trying to spare him from the one-sided conversation (if it could even be called that). Yoongi used the moment to escape and take a seat at the table nearest you, waiting for his iconic iced-americano. You remember the sweet smile he gave you as he mouthed ‘thank you’ – the start to your simple chitchat about the shop’s décor and more.

You often giggle as you remember the notes you passed on the plane ride home. The ones kept safe in your nightstand. Had you not looked up, the moment he walked down the cramped isle, Yoongi wouldn’t have shared a smile with you, before taking his seat in first-class.

Within an hour of the flight, a young, excited stewardess had come to your seat handing you a folded sheet of paper. Noticing she was waiting for you to read the note, you unfolded it and struggled to stifle the laugh that emerged. “So, who is your bias?” Yoongi wrote in memory of when your phone rang at the coffee shop, announcing your ARMY status as Converse High played. It was the rare time you had left your sound on.

From time to time, you wondered about the excited flight attendant. You wish you could see her again just so you could tell her thank you for putting up with Yoongi’s archaic flirting. Had she not been so kind and willing, your relationship may not have formed.

These and many more memories were what put you to ease when you sat in a conference room at HYBE Entertainment. It was there where plans were made for the announcement your relationship with the one and only Min Yoongi of BTS. Photos of your not-so-secret dates had progressively found their way onto Tumblr and Twitter, gaining the attention of gossip sites. However, it was more appropriate to call it an interrogation than a planning session.

“Y/N,” you remember the head of PR starting, “Are you sure there are no past scandals that will cause Min Yoongi any problems?” The intention behind ‘scandals’ had not been lost on.

Your usual demeanor was gone as you snipped back. “I’m pretty sure I was too lazy to have any scandals.”

Yoongi snorted as he held back his laugh.

It was the truth. Your streak of laziness was something Yoongi often appreciated about you. It resulted any many home dates and working side-by-side in the Genuis Lab at all hours of the day. Shared moments you loved. However, you couldn’t handle any more inquires from that man, he had been unyielding for days, and you were slowly breaking.

Your sarcasm hadn’t gone unnoticed. “Do you not understand what kind of position you are putting our artist and company in? We need to be prepared for whatever we will need to clean up after you. You need to take this seriously.” Intentions ringing clearly, again.

In your heart, you knew he trying to do right by Yoongi and the company, but the judgement that wove into his words cut. You also took offense to how he made you sound like a disease that clung to Yoongi, bringing him harm.

As you looked back, it was the first of many wounds that told you, you were unworthy of Min Yoongi.

“Y/N is very aware of what implications a public relationship will have.” The man in question spoke, his tone shifting as he said, “She is more than clear of any scandals. Worst we’ll see are malicious lies and rumors – no truth within them – and that is where this discussion will end.” As Yoongi spoke, his few words carried immense weight. For each previously inflicted cut, his words bandaged themselves around to ease the pain.

Heeding the warning, the interrogation ended, and the meeting regained its original focus: preparation for the announcement and aftermath.

Two weeks after the tense convening, the news was released through an official statement form HYBE, confirming the relationship of Min Yoongi and his new girlfriend. The media and social-media platforms were instantly in a frenzy and, as planned, everyone remained silent. It had been decided that everyone would keep silent for a month, to see what would earn a response.

That singular month had been the sharpest cut to your fragile skin.

_______________________

Breaking through your thoughts, Yoongi spoke again, “Y/N.”

You looked up at him, finally, and sighed. “I’m sick, okay? I can’t help but want to see what is being said about me, about us. Did you see they’re calling me Yoko Ono? Will the media ever cease with the constant Beetles comparisons? Don’t they see you guys are tired of responding to the accolades?”

He spared you a look, leaving you to end your rambles. The rambles he knew you were using to deflect from your current, unhealthy obsession.

“I really can’t help it Yoongi,” You sighed. “In less than a week we can finally speak out and I need to know what I’m defending myself against.”

In an almost languid fashion, he placed the laptop down and sat next to you. Pulling you closer as he organized his thoughts. “That’s not really for you to worry about. The company and I will handle that.”

“No, I need to do something. I can’t just hide behind you. People are talking about us and they’re going to watch and critique every little thing we do. I know that isn’t what we discussed, but this anxiety is unlike anything else.”

He reached out and gently ran the tips of his fingers down the sides of your face, smoothing out any traces of stress. The very hand that famously held a tight grasp on a black microphone, was now the source of your ease. The very hand that was adored by many, was saved for you.

“Here’s the thing,” he spoke slowly, “People are gonna talk. So, let them talk; let them talk about us. People are gonna watch. So, let 'em touch, let 'em see, let 'em feel what love is.”

They were simple words, yet, as the always did, they healed the damages from the last three weeks.

Tears overwhelmed your eyes, gliding down to touch the tips of his fingers. “Let it all go, since it finally happened.” He had worried about the brave face you had been parading. “I know they’re going to talk. I know they’re going to watch. Baby, I don’t mind as long as it’s you and I. We’ll just let them see what real love is.”

As you processed the abundance of emotions that had accumulated, Yoongi held you close. Occasionally whispering the right sentiments to soften the anxiety more. While you laid with him, you wondered: Exactly how much had to go right for you to be with him? The gossip columns may say that the two of you were different, too different in fact, but your time together showed you how alike you were. How right you were for each other.

Many more challenges awaited you, but with him you knew it would be fine. You were not coming down from your cloud.

_______________________

Later that evening, as the tears dried and the anxiety eased to rest, you proposed a trip. “Hey, the next time were in California we should stay at the Chateau Marmot.”

“Isn’t that place haunted?” His abundance of quirky knowledge never ceased to amaze you.

After a quick search to confirm, you scratched the plan. “I’ll find another chateau. One free of the paranormal.”

A short moment of silence passed before you asked your next thought, “What did you mean earlier when you said, “let them touch”?

Yoongi looked up from his phone and paused for affect. “Don’t know. It just sounded right in my head – I didn’t mean anything weird by it.” He laughed, exposing his renowned smile.

“Pervert.” You teased, tossing a pillow his way.

In an unexpected fashion, Yoongi lunged forward seeking retaliation. Having not anticipated it, you stumbled off the bed, in an attempt to run away, but he pulled you back before you could escape. In the most cliché of moments, he tickled your sides until the fits of laughter led to you sharing a loving gaze and slow kiss.

“You’re right,” you said as your lips separated, “Let ‘em talk – we’ll show them what real love it.”

_______________________

The Power Couple that is Y/SN

A year has since passed since news of Y/SN occupied our every thought. In celebration of our favorite power couple, we’ve broken down the Top 10 Reasons why we love Y/SN!

Goals: How do we land a relationship like SUGA and Y/N’s?

Recently, photos and videos of a not-so-secret date between SUGA and Y/N made their way onto the internet. As the young couple is seen leaving Chateau de Sureau, they’re hand-in-hand showing signs of laughter. The love between the two is so clear not even an anti-Y/SN could deny it. So, the question remains, how do we get our own fairytale romance?

We’ve been asking, but has SUGA?

The question all fans of Y/SN have been wanting to know: When will SUGA ask the big question? Our sources suggest it may be sooner than you might think. As BTS wraps up their latest world tour, preparing to go back to the studio, rumors of the young rapper ring shopping have bubbled up. Whether this is true or not remains to be seen, but we look forward to the exciting news for our favorite couple.

[supersonic-womanofyou]

My first attempt at an interview fic! Read this on Ao3, or under the cut. 

Spotlight on Eric Bittle

 Interview by Elizabeth Chu

Photographs by Jack Zimmermann

  The internet personality, author, and baker talks about his childhood, his relationship with Providence Falconers captain Jack Zimmermann, being a LGBTQ role model, why he struggled with his overnight success, and his upcoming cookbook.

 I meet Eric Bittle in person for the first time on a Saturday afternoon, in a trendy coffee shop in downtown Providence. Even though I’ve heard of it in passing, I’ve never been inside. Eric obviously has, since when I approach the table where he’s chosen to sit, Eric is already chatting familiarly with one of the waitresses. 

 But after a couple minutes talking to Eric, I mentally revisit that assumption. Eric Bittle has a way of putting people at ease, of making even the most distant strangers feel like long-lost friends-- through his warm personality, but also through his seemingly-never ending supply of homemade baked goods. By the time I sit down across from him, I’m already in possession of a whole pie and two jars of jam. 

 Most of the celebrities I’ve met have on screen personalities that are vastly different in person, but the Eric Bittle I meet that Saturday could have been pulled directly out of his Netflix series or one of the episodes from his vastly popular vlog. He’s perennially bright and cheery, with a Southern drawl that’s been blunted by years in New England, but is still very present. When I mention it, Eric laughs. “I used to hate my accent, but I think it’s become as part of my brand as pies are. I’d probably lose all of my followers if I started talking like a Yankee,” he jokes.

 The source of Bittle’s accent is his hometown-- Madison, Georgia, a town of barely four thousand people. When I ask what drove him to move up north, he gestures to himself as a whole. “Not too many opportunities for a baking, skating, Beyonce-loving gay boy in Morgan County.” He turns more serious, though, when he continues: “I was bullied a lot as a child. When I think back to my childhood, to living in Georgia-- for people who looked or acted different, it could be suffocating. I remember feeling like my future was just so starkly outlined for me-- going to a state school, settling down with a nice girl, spending the rest of my life just pretending. It sounds like overdramatic teenage angst now, I know, but I always knew if I wanted to live honestly, I needed to get out.” 

 And so Eric applied-- and was accepted to--Samwell University in Massachusetts, which touts itself as one of the most LGBTQ friendly schools in America, under the motto “one in four, maybe more.” According to Eric, it’s where he began to come to terms with himself and his identity, where he finally said the words “I’m gay” out loud, where he continued to bake and vlog and began to think seriously about a career in both, and where, perhaps most famously, he met his now-husband, Providence Falconers captain Jack Zimmermann. 

 “We both played on the hockey team, but we weren’t exactly friends at first,” Bittle says about his relationship with Zimmermann.

 So, of course, I have to ask him-- what is it like, being a baker married to a hockey player? Eric and his husband seem like almost comical counterpoints in every aspect of their careers and personalities. Eric makes his living through baking and cooking, Jack plays in the notoriously-macho NHL. Eric has built a brand and a food empire off of cheeriness and Southern hospitality, Jack has a reputation of being a “hockey robot,” with his cold, generally disagreeable demeanor during interviews.

 “Well, with it all laid out like that, it really does sound like we’re night and day,” Eric laughs. “But honestly? We just work. We both love skating-- that’s what we bonded over in college, actually. We also both technically majored in history, even though we have very different specialities and did so for pretty different reasons. But even our differences are compatible. Like, I love talking, he doesn’t, so we’re never talking over each other or silent. Also, pro hockey players have to eat an insane number of calories, so Jack’s always there to eat my cooking, and that’s really all I can ask for.”

 Eric and Jack, who played on a line together briefly at Samwell, took the sports world by storm seven years ago when they kissed on the ice after the Falconers won the Stanley Cup, making Jack the first openly LGBTQ player in the NHL. The pair broke yet another barrier for LGBTQ people in hockey soon after, when Eric became the first openly gay NCAA Division I hockey captain. 

 When I ask Eric if he ever thought about following in his partner’s footsteps and pursuing a career in professional hockey, he just laughs. “Oh, definitely not. I love being on the ice, but I don’t think I would have made it very far in the NHL or AHL.”

 His fame may have started out in the (relatively niche) world of professional hockey, but since graduating from Samwell, Eric has found incredible success beyond the legacy of that historic kiss. His first book, published five years ago, spent several weeks on the New York Times Food and Diet bestseller list, and was applauded as a fresh, vibrant take on Southern cuisine and desserts.  Check, Please  reads as seventy percent cookbook, thirty percent memoir, with every page infused with Bittle’s indomitable, ubiquitous personality. His vlog, which he started in high school and has updated continuously ever since, has millions of subscribers, who tune in every week to hear Bittle talk about everything from pies and cookies to relationships and family. Finally, and perhaps most famously, Bittle hosted his own Netflix series last year, applauded as a combination of Marie Kondo and Queer Eye, in which he taught baking with his usual brand of positivity and universal appeal, interspersed with feel-good moments and life lessons.

 It strikes me that while Bittle’s career may have been jump-started by his relationship with Jack Zimmermann, he’s certainly managed to make a name for himself in the years since. To the hockey world, he may still be an afterthought to Jack Zimmermann, but to the baking world (and a good portion of Netflix’s viewership), the name Jack Zimmermann is an afterthought to that of Eric Bittle. 

 “Jack definitely gets a kick out of it when we’re in public together and I get recognized, and he doesn’t,” Eric says. “It’s kind of crazy, actually-- I definitely couldn’t have imagined all this ten years ago, back in college or in high school.”

 And what did Eric imagine himself doing? “To be honest, I don’t think I had any idea. When I decided to go to Samwell, I didn’t even have a major in mind or anything. I just wanted to get out of Georgia. And at Samwell-- I mean, I majored in American History, of all things. Talk about a useless degree! I literally just chose the major that let me take the most baking or baking-adjacent classes.” He pauses, and laughs. “It drives Jack crazy, actually-- I never have a plan for anything, really, big or small. I’m the kind of person who just crosses my fingers and hope it all shakes out for the best.”

 His husband’s opinion aside, this tactic seems to have worked out pretty well for Eric. His next, eagerly anticipated cookbook, which follows much in the vein of his Netflix show, is due to come out in two months this August. “It’s going to be focused on easy, cheap cooking and baking that’s still healthy and fulfilling. I think there’s a mindset that to make tasty, healthy food you need to have expensive ingredients and tools, or a lot of time on your hands, or have a lot of experience. But like-- I made food for an entire hockey team in a frat house on a college student’s allowance for four years, so I know something about cooking healthy on a budget,” he jokes. “I really just want to make good, healthy food accessible for everyone.”

 Well, he’s managed to do that, and more. Eric Bittle’s career so far has certainly been a whirlwind. He’s gone from publishing his first cookbook to hosting his own show in what’s only been a matter of years.

 “I do have to pinch myself sometimes, “ Eric says about his dizzyingly quick ascent to fame. “Like, Carrie Underwood tagged me in a tweet about hockey husbands the other day. Carrie Underwood!” The disbelief is clear in his voice. “I mean, Jack’s always been the bigger fan of country music, but the Georgia boy in me had to lie down for a moment when I saw the notification. So I think-- I still can’t really believe all of it, you know? It feels like yesterday I was still about to graduate college, with barely any plan and procrastinating on my thesis. And I guess sometimes-- sometimes I do feel a bit guilty, you know? Like-- there’s so many people fighting for this, fighting for what I’ve got-- getting books published, getting a show, everything else. I definitely had a leg up in name recognition because of Jack and hockey, and even when Jack and weren’t married yet, I never had to worry about having a roof over my head if the vlog wasn’t bringing in enough money or the cookbook wasn’t selling well enough.” He pauses, pensive, and it’s not the first time in this conversation that I mentally reassess my first assumptions about Eric Bittle. Behind the nationally famous smile and welcoming accent is a thoughtful young man still grappling with becoming a public figure and a role model, with a sprinkling of imposter syndrome, who doesn’t understand exactly what millions of people across the country see in him. 

 But perhaps that as well is an unfair assessment. It’s clear that Eric has a refreshing genuiness that few public figures possess, and that this is part of what has managed to speak to so many people from all backgrounds. That on some level, his modesty about his own fame is part of what constitutes his appeal. 

 When I mention this, Eric flushes a bright shade of pink. “Oh, aren’t you a flatterer. Well, I suppose so.”

 So after this cookbook, what’s next? Is fatherhood on the horizon? 

 “I did mention that I never have a plan, didn’t I?” he quips. But he does confide that he and Jack have been talking about having a family. “We’ve always wanted kids, but there’s always been something going on. Jack’s job and being on roadies all the time, me trying to get my career started. We don’t want our kids to be raised by babysitters and nannies, you know? We want to be there for them, so while it’s definitely something we’re considering, we’re trying to balance timing. But it has been a couple years, so.” He blushes. “We’re revisiting the idea.”

 “But other than that-- I have been approached about the possibility of some other projects and shows in the future, but I probably can’t talk about those,” he says. “And though it’s always been a dream of mine to own a bakery, that would be a pretty huge commitment. So I guess I’m just trying to say that I’m not really sure exactly what comes next.” Nevertheless, he grins, as if to say,  and isn’t that exciting ?

 Fatherhood or his own bakery-- I’m sure that no matter what comes next for Eric Bittle, he’ll forge ahead with his characteristic positivity and Southern grace, with plenty of baked goods along the way. *

[craftypeaceturtle]

I want to start this off with saying that Virgil being Anxiety always struck me with being weird and not really fitting in with the others. My explanations for this has changed over the millions of years I have totally been in this fandom so maybe I’ll change my mind again but hey ho! This is that one idea I have currently that I just can’t seem to write. 

I like the idea of it starting off with Janus moving to the light side of the mindscape.

His room is really similar to Patton’s so Pat agrees to help him pack and carry it all over.

They end up finding a bunch of old baby videos and cut to them both watching old videos of a little toddler chaotic Remus.

The fic I started included their first ever video which was during Remus’ second ever Christmas. The darkside was decorated kinda haphazardly and cheaply. The camera is really shaky and was mostly pointed at the floor. Eventually Janus figures out he’s recording and slams the camera upwards to Remus sitting on the floor eating toast. 

I really don’t know why I’m fixated on this but just the idea of a little chubby Remus with a strip of toast in his tight little fist and sucking on his fist. Just absolutely destroying that toast really grossly but in that toddler way where they are still somehow cute. 

Eventually Janus is like I’ll move the boxes but you can keep watching if you really want. 

Patton only watches a few videos before moving away.

Once Janus comes back he asks where was Virgil.

Awkward suspenseful silence.

“It doesn’t matter, can you help me grab this box here?”

Uh oh a mystery is afoot. 

Patton helps him move for the rest of the day but he manages to run into Logan as he makes himself a tea as he goes to bed. 

Of course he tells him about this and how he’s a little worried how Janus didn’t answer his question. 

Logan is obviously like... “Uh you could ask Virgil or Remus himself?”

And Patton is then like “yoU’RE A GENUIS!”

The next day, as he makes breakfast, he asks Virgil very casually what his childhood was like. 

Virgil replies quite generically really.

He at first was like... “uh normal?” but once they really start talking then Virgil explains more specific memories like how Janus always made the best pancakes and how there was a really tall tree in the garden he always wanted to climb but he was scared he would get in trouble. 

Patton loosens up completely and just presumes that Janus was only awkward since Virgil did leave the dark side. Nothing bad happened in his childhood then!

He then commented whether he liked being brothers with Remus and Virgil looks at him like he’s insane.

“I never really even saw Remus! I think Janus tried to introduce us once but he upset me or something so we never tried again. I think the next time we really saw each other was when Thomas was an adult.”

Weird but maybe that was just their family.

Patton definitely feels better now but also he’s now all nostalgic so he goes to ask Remus about the childhood.

That’s when the mystery is again afoot. 

Remus presents THE EXACT SAME MEMORIES. WORD BY WORD.

“I never really even saw Virgil! I think Janus tried to introduce us once but he upset me or something so we never tried again. I think the next time we really saw each other was when Thomas was an adult.”

Patton panics and obviously Remus picks up on this.

Patton tells him that him and Virgil worded things the exact same way and that Janus even raising two kids completely separated while still tucking them goodnight at the exact same time was impossible. 

Remus goes all quiet.

“Well, you know how Janus is denial and stuff. He can make you forget memories and fill in the gaps himself. Sometimes he lets you just fill in the blanks yourself but if it’s really bad then he’ll make fake memories. He always swore up and down he would never do that to us. I always knew that was a lie. I just couldn’t figure out what was fake...”

Remus looks so accepting and dejected that Patton swears to get to the bottom of this. 

This is kinda where things get fuzzy and I don’t know specifics for how this story will work. 

Eventually it’s revealed that after the split, Remus was really really unstable. 

Children don’t really have many intrusive thoughts (obviously unless they’ve gone through some trauma).

So Remus’ role was all over the place and he was just really dissociative and behind. 

Eventually one day, Remus split apart again. 

Intrusive thoughts are defined as thoughts that cause anxiety and, within children, anxiety appears through intrusive thoughts. Anxiety defines intrusive thoughts and Anxiety takes the form of intrusive thoughts. They can’t exist without the other.

So when Remus split again to separate him and Anxiety, Janus just kind of lost it. 

Janus has no idea why they split into two since Remus did previously encompass both. Admittedly not well but they managed! He has no idea what changed...

But he tried to take it in stride.

Only now they were both unstable.

Some days he would wake up to two excited children and other days he had one child and then other days they were conjoined twins. 

They would finish each other’s sentences and they both couldn’t talk at the same time.

Sometimes Janus would ask a question to Remus and Virgil in another room would answer, but Remus would then think that he answered. 

They were just both way too unstable. 

They were separated but yet were clearly meant to be one side. Janus eventually started seeing them both as broken. Why would they have separated when that only worsened things. 

This continued until Thomas was a teenager (I’m thinking like 14, quite a young teen).

Then Janus put his foot down and separated them in the hopes that they would develop on their own and be more stable.

This ruined them.

They were inconsolable. They could barely pay attention, it worsened every previous symptom and now they couldn’t even have comfort in each other.

Janus broke down too.

He had no idea what to do. They had to develop on their own but this was ripping them apart more. But he couldn’t go back now as they were furious at him for doing this. He sobbed once he came up with his plan. 

He put them in denial about their link and planted fake memories of a childhood. 

Now they both think that they never knew each other or actively despised each other. 

Here’s where I don’t really know about an ending.

I like the idea of ending it here. A horrible ending of knowing they are in denial but it’s for the “better” and it would now cause more harm to let them know. 

But I also like the idea of them both realising and remembering and so they become really close all over again.

It leads to fun interactions like “Rem, can you shut up! It’s my time for the braincell!”/ “No I’m in the middle of something here!”

Or maybe the idea that now they’re both stable, they can fuse into one stable side again?

So there it is. For some reason, I just can’t write this out without it being really clunky. Obviously, considering I don’t even know what the ending should be. I feel like this would be a really fun thing to make art or a comic from but I can’t art. And I can’t imagine trying to design a Remus with a dash of Virgil. Like firstly you have to design a baby Remus but then also give him Virgil vibes! 

To ramble for a sec, I do have the idea of them dressing like a knight rather than Remus’ usual outfit. That like tunic with a hood fulfils the fantasy side with Remus and the hood being the hiding in clothes aspect with Virgil. Then you could do really funky armour based on Remus’ logo. But again, I can’t even picture what that would look like let alone actually art that. 

[ziracona]

Might be that someone already asked but give us your wisdom. Headcanons for Felix and Élodie

Initially, they’re just shocked to see each other again. And in the realm. They haven’t crossed paths since they were kids. But then almost immediately things are uncomfortable.

Élodie is the one who got the kids to go into the internment camp, /and/ who personally activated the sigil that brought the Entity to them all. She is directly responsible for the loss of her own parents and Felix’s and all the others. So, seeing him again, her first thought after surprise and relief at a familiar human is “Oh no. He hates me.” And she immediately becomes reactively and agressively defensive of herself and her past actions, predicting hostility that isn’t there yet.

Since Felix’s paragraph never even mentions Élodie, I have to assume she does not play super majorly into his own trauma memories actually and he doesn’t harbor intense resentment towards her, and probably both doesn’t blame her for being the one to push them into that trek, and simply know she activated the sigil. So, he’s surprised and relieved (even though it’s kind of awkward), and then kind of just hurt because she’s immediately reactive around him and almsot seems to resent him. He probably gets kind of pissed (understandably) like “Well you were the one who sent us down there—I don’t know why you’d hate /me/ over it” and that only makes stuff worse.

Felix is very easy to push around and terrified and takes a long time before he gets used to the realm. He is a cautious and hesistant man in general, and very very very out of his depth, both from being kind of rich and cushioned against life, and just by nature. He takes a long time to adapt and is miserable and scared, but he really does try.

Claudette, who is also miserable and scared, and Dwight, who was long the same before adapting, are especially nice to him and work to help him adapt. So are Tapp, Jane, Jeff, and Ace, who also try—especially Jane, who is well versed, and Tapp, who has experience—to comfort and reassure him about his wife giving birth without him there and his family waiting back home.

Felix misses his wife deeply and would never cheat on her and abandon her and his infant child back home on favor of a steamy realm romance. (I hold Felix ships in contempt >.> my boy has no reason to be regarded a cheater fuck off leave him alone. He’s a decent enough fellow.)

Élodie is a lot braver than Felix. She adapts to the realm quickly for average, as she is used to danger, pain, and hardship. However, unlike Felix, who is afraid and weak initially due to his complete lack of hardship experience, but is team-oriented, Élodie is used to working alone, and is not a great teammate for a while. She doesn’t mean to be cruel, and she’s not like, unfeeling or unsympathetic. But her own experience is so rooted in self-preservation and operating solo, she takes time to get used to having to share that burden with others. And kind of is resistant to it at first. It’s just...not what’s in her programming. It’s been a long time since other people were aside from in a trade and at arm’s length at best.

The survivors are such a big family though eventually Élodie is overtaken by their genuiness and affection. I think Jane and/or Kate and maybe Dwight talk to her at least once, about how this is affecting teams, or about the group’s way of operating and relationships, but I think really it’s just being saturdated in Claudette asking her for help gardening and explaining new poultices, and Meg doing movie scripts theatrically and asking her questions all the time like an (endearingly) annoying little sister, and Jeff and Tapp and Adam always there to save her and take a hit in a trial, people singing together at camp, Dwight passing her supplies to help her get started. It the family. She gets so slowly warmed up to being genuinely cared for and wanted that her walls start to go down, and she starts unlearning her instinctive reactions and begins fighting to save not just her but them too, them before her sometimes, just because it truly becomes what she wants.

Élodie is fasinated by learing any kind of information that could be useful and very dedicated, so she spends a lot of time with Dwight, Claudette, Jane, Adam, Zarina, and Tapp especially, trying to track down any information that could help them escape eventually and stuff to help then survive in the meantime. Bc of her previous life and knowledge, she is extremely useful at this.

Also gets along well with David/Kate/Laurie and Yui and Zarina. After dying, she really really wants to pick up as much fighting skill as she can.

Felix gets along pretty well with everyone, but hangs out more with the chiller activites people like Adam, Ace, Tapp, Jeff, Jane, or Dwight/Quentin/Claudette.

After arriving in the realm, Felix feels bad most of his skills seem less useful. After Dwight talks to him, he decides to so the little he can, and that even if he’s not got worlds of skills for fighting or escaping the realm, it matters at least a little he /can/ make peoples’ lives better. So he adds some rudamintery shelters to the campfire area so they have a few little actual kind of partial buildings now. He’s not the most personally skilled with tools, but he has an expansive knowledge of how to make things function well and last and be given proper support, so he and Jake make a good team when it comes to home construction.

Things with Felix and Élodie are tense for a while. They don’t fight, per se, but because she anticipates that he hates her and is automatically basically hostilely defensive towards him in preperation for that, Felix feels very disliked by her as well. With some interveigning from the others—especially Jane and Dwight—things get a little more cordial. And Felix starts trying to work hard to make things work and dedicatedly saving her in trials. Élodie hates this, she thinks/tells herself because he’s trying to be superior/sanctimonious towards her, but in reality because she is crippled with guilt over what happened a long time ago. Still, after a while, she starts trying to save him hard too to be just as good, and it’s hard to hate somebody who has rescued you from death, so unintentionally this ends up tricking them both into starting to be chill with and enjoy each other again.

Eventually, there is a breaking point when they’re alone—maybe it’s late at night and Élodie or Felix asks the other to step away to talk. Maybe it’s in a trial, and Felix is offering to die so she can take the hatch, and she just can’t take it anymore. But it happens, and Élodie breaks down and asks why he’s doing this and says she knows he must hate her, and tries to apologize and defend herself viciously at the same time, and it’s a mess, and Felix never knew she actually summoned the thing at all and it’s like getting kicked in the stomach, and he doesn’t even know what to say or think. For so long he’s blamed himself; he’s never blamed her. But he didn’t know it was her fault, and it kind of is, and she’s falling apart, and he’s so overwhelmed, and what is he supposed to say? Is he supposed to forgive her? Supposed to hate her? But. He thinks for a second. He lost everything, but so did she—so did all of them. And she didn’t know. Nobody warned them, their parents could have, and didn’t. And she was a kid. Kids make mistakes—that’s living, that’s growing up. Adults do too. And he doesn’t hate her, and it doesn’t matter if he blames her, because it doesn’t matter who /is/ to blame. They were all kids, and it was a tragedy, not an act of hate or maliciousness, and that’s all that matters. They both lost everything, and all that matters is they do the best they can with what they have now.

And that’s what he tells her. And it’s hard to accept, but she’s so relieved. She breaks down and cries and apologizes for real, no equivocations, no defense, just sorry, and he tells her there’s nothing really to forgive because it was an accident, but that if there was, he would, and they’re friends after that day. Almsot inseperably. She’s there to ask about his wife and baby he hasn’t got to meet yet and to encourage him like the best friend he never had growing up, and he’s there to hear her theories and long spiels on fascinating finds, and ask about home and what she truly wants if they make it back like the best friend she never had either, and because she finally has people she loves, she has answers to that now.

[dumbdotcomm]

lessons in opposites

(a/n) a commission for my pal @fanfic-inator795! enjoy some raph and donnie bonding !

It’s not that Raph really prefers one brother over the other; he’s been blessed with three great brothers and one fantastic sister and Raphael is grateful every day, as sure as he’s got life and breath in him, he’s so grateful that he’s not alone. 

April asks, just for laughs, for a silly documentary on their Lair Games, if Raph had a favorite brother; and off the bat, on instinct, he wants to deny that he does. He loves them all. But then he blurts out Mikey’s name without thinking and then things start to shift, and Raph starts to wonder if he’s a terrible brother for that.

“It’s not a big deal, Raph,” Donnie says, after having seen the clips of how little faith his brothers had in his athleticism, and that one little clip of Raph easily admitting Mikey was his favorite, followed up by Leo, “It’s just a joke…”

But he says it in the way that’s pinched and just a little forced like he does when he takes hard hits and bad falls and just wants to laugh it off because he’s fine. 

Raph swallows, nods, presses a smile that feigns belief in Donnie’s words, but he can’t stop glancing over at his brother’s face the whole rest of the time they watch April’s (incredibly edited) documentary film. 

His brother keeps his eyes downcast and does that thing where he wrings his hands till they get weirdly slick with this mucusy stuff. 

Like when he’s hurt and holding back. 

And Raph makes a silent promise, then, that he’ll definitely make it up to his brother.

---

Life has a funny way of just screwing plans and promises over. Raph trains extra with his father on early mornings, learning to think, to focus, to get his fears under control. Donnie locks himself into work by the time training is over, and then they go patrol and watch something on Netflix and then the day is spent and it’s 4am. 

So it’s not exactly intentional, the way their paths just don’t cross long enough for Raph to really get the chance to make it up to Donnie. But it’s still shitty and Raph knows there’s something he can do- he has to. 

And so he googles a bunch of stuff going on in Manhattan, something that wouldn’t be so obviously intended on compensating for basically saying Don is his least favorite brother. Something Donnie won’t suspect, because if he did- 

“If you asking me is a way of ‘reparations’ for the Lair Games documentary, Raph…”

“It’s not-” Raph raises his arms in innocence, and crosses over his plastron, “Turtle’s honor, Donnie. ‘S just the guys...they’ll be all ‘that’s lame’, and you…”

“Wouldn’t think a teddy bear world is lame?” Donnie quirks his perfectly drawn brow and cocks his head a little at Raph.

This is going abysmally, but not quite in a way that wasn’t expected. Raph bites his own tongue from just spilling his intentions heartfeltly- because he can’t scare his brother off right now. He’s gotta play it cool. 

“Uhhh, I mean, I-”

“Because you’d be pretty accurate,” Donnie interjects, and despite his voice remaining flat, his lips curve into a ghost of a smile, and Raph’s heart stops pounding so hard, “I was wondering when you would finally ask one of us, ugh a dream come true.”

Raph genuinely cannot tell if Donnie is being sarcastic, though roughly fifteen years of training has at least let him gather, from that weird way his brother’s eyes got super overbright when he was excited, that Donnie really, like super straight up, means it. 

“Wow…. well, aight then,” Raph laughs with his words, still not believing how easy it was to simply…ask to spend time with his brother, “Just pick a disguise and we good!”

“Yup, normal disguise. Friday it ‘tis,” Donnie returns the laugh, a touch awkward, before taking his sandwich back to his lab. 

And the slightly manic look that Raph catches in his brother, just as he slips from view, makes a lot of little pieces in Raph’s head come together, like a little, horrifying jigsaw puzzle.

Because Raph has been blessed with having Donnie as a brother for fourteen years, he knows a terrible plan forming when he sees one. 

-----

Donnie takes pride in his intellect, like not in a super cocky way, he’s just glad he’s been gifted with the ability to make a pea shooter in one afternoon that also has the capability to laser off a bastard’s face. 

Still he’s not too prideful to admit that he’s sometimes stupid as hell, in the emotional department, and social department. And while that’s not exactly ideal, Donnie’s got four pretty incredible siblings to lean on for that and so he doesn’t really complain about the impossibility of picking up social cues. 

But sometimes, like when his older brother is standing across from him uncomfortably stiff, babbling on about Teddy Bear Town- well sometimes Donnie kinda wishes he did get it. 

It’s only until he’s stacking his third layer of his sandwich that Donnie really understands what this is all about. Because Raph’s got his ‘I’m nervously trying to make it up to you’ stink, and then Donnie remembers the documentary, and Raph’s commentary, and the really…awful way Donnie pretended not to feel afterwards. 

He doesn’t want Raph to pity invite him, he doesn’t need that. And Donnie’s gonna make sure his brother knows he’s fine- he’s chill and and he’s okay with potentially being Raph’s least favorite. 

So he’s supposed to respond to Raph nonchalantly, to just go with Raph and be cool about it but- 

“Shelldon, download all the info you can find on Teddy Town…”

-----

“Rise and shine, bud!” 

Donnie must’ve drank four extra shots of espresso to be this hype this early, and Raph grips the steering wheel of the Turtle Tank a little harder to try and not smell so nervous. Because there’s no way Donnie could have actually known what Raph’s intentions were, like he had to have just thought that this was a normal thing, and not a ‘I’m so sorry I made you feel less than appreciated, please forgive me’ type of thing. 

And Donnie is definitely onto something, even if he’s not onto Raph. He’s just got that glint in his eyes, and Raph feels just a little bit selfish for wanting this to be a normal day- for his brother to  just be-

“Uh...thanks for taggin’ along,” Raph doesn’t intentionally cut Donnie off, but his brother’s talking a mile a minute about the history of Teddy Bear Town and Raph knows that he’s only doing it because he feels he has to. 

Donnie stops himself, blinks, and puts his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, “It’s no big deal…” he says, in complete contrary to his hyperactive Ted Talk, “Being benched for a sprained ankle was shit, needed to get out anyway…”

He glances over at Raph and looks instantly, incredibly smaller. 

Raph thumbs the steering wheel, drumming against it in thought, in a search for words. 

He doesn’t have to do this kinda stuff with Mikey, and Leo never shuts up- and Donnie is just…

“Bluetooth, connect to my phone,” Donnie says abruptly, before Raph even gets the chance to think of something to say. 

And they stay quiet, listening to music the whole way there.

------

Things feel significantly less awkward in the bigger crowd. Raph is grateful for all the noise and movement that he can shift his focus on, instead of the downcast way Donnie’s been carrying himself since halfway through their ride over here. 

And Raph’s always kinda felt his younger brother had a tough time expressing himself- that they were different that way. That Raph carried his heart on his sleeve and that his brother didn’t. But now he’s starting to see that maybe he’s got some things twisted. That he and Donnie are a lot more alike in these things than Raph thought. 

“Stay close,” he tells his brother, because as aloof as humans are, they’re still humans, and they don’t always accept what’s different.

Raph remembers telling Donnie that, when they first met April, when Donnie surprisingly was the first to reach out and grab her little hand and compare it to his. And Donnie had looked at him weird, and yeah, well humans aren’t the only ones that don’t understand ‘different’. 

The memory hits Raph so suddenly, and almost makes him miss a step. 

He turns to find Donnie staring at him, which must mean Donnie noticed, because of course he did.

And Raph stares back because oh. Holy shit. 

“Uh…” Donnie glances around awkwardly, “Raph, you’re giving off a weird...vibe right now. You good-”

“Can we talk?” Raph blurts out, and surveys their surroundings, for a place to dip, “Like real quick?” 

Donnie looks like he wants to bolt now, which would be ideal in the packed hallway of the mall. But he doesn’t. He just swallows and darts his eyes and nods.

Sure. 

Pros to being trained ninjas is the ability to disappear quickly, and they find a quiet, tucked away spot where Raph finally lets himself breathe. 

“You’re different,” he says it quickly and rushed and Donnie’s eyes briefly widen in some sort of surprise, but Raph presses on despite his sloppy start, “You….you think different, you think, like, way smarter than us, an’ you make different jokes and express differently an’ that doesn’t. It’s not bad, Donnie.” 

His brother keeps his eyes to the ground, kicking gently at nothing, “I don’t care that you said I’m your least favorite, Raph,” he mumbles. 

“But you do,” Raph counters back, and keeps his voice leveled, tries not to talk to Donnie too softly or else he’d feel babied, “And that’s normal, and I wish I could say that what I said wasn’t...I dunno, like a…”

“Reflection of how you feel?” Donnie poses, but his words aren’t angry, even if Raph feels his brother’s got full rights to be.

He sighs, deflating a little, “Yeah...yeah, I guess it’s that. But not because I think...it’s because I get really...weirdly insecure man. You’re a freaking genuis and I know you never try an’ make us feel dumb, but- and then we’re both super bad at words and I just… I dunno Dee.”

Raph takes the extra step to go close the distance between him and Donnie, and Donnie stiffens up- at first, for just a couple of seconds, “But I love you, ‘cause you’re an awesome person, and ya not my least favorite. You’re not. And ya don’t gotta pretend you’re cool with everything.”

Donnie pulls back, a dorky smile on his face, which is infinitely better than the sad way he looked earlier, even better than the way he pretended like everything was good and it wasn’t.

“You don’t have to pretend either,” Donnie says, unlocking their eye contact, and staring back at his feet, “I know you were trying to...to make it up to me, but. You could’ve- you didn’t have to invite me.”

“But I wanted to,” Raph says it and means it with everything he’s got, “Really, Donnie. A-and I wanted to do somethin’ that ya wouldn’t think was me just tryna get on your good side, ya know. Somethin’ we could just...do.”

“And I messed up, the whole info-dumping….” 

He’s doing it again, he’s making himself smaller and Raph’s not allowing that. 

“Okay, half of that stuff, I woulda never known- and ya looked all’a that up just to get to understand me better. I just didn’t want you...t’ think you had to...say all that.”

“And I didn’t want you to think you had to invite me,” Donnie quips back, but ends it with a small smile, “So I guess we’re in the same proverbial boat.”

Raph snorts, “The boat of insecurity…”

And Donnie, stiff and awkward and still full of feeling, takes his turn to hug Raph fully this time, “Screw that boat.”

-----

In the end Donnie makes his bear with a shitton of detail, getting so wrapped up in it that they spend a couple hours there.

And Raph’s bear is simple, not all that complex like his brother’s- but that’s more than okay, actually.

Their differences were more than okay.

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[wildlittlefoxsworld]

Waiting 800 years for you | Tony Stark x immortal!reader

Hey guys, this story involves the universe from the books by Lynsay Sands. It's about immortal humans that are modified by nanos in their blood and prevent them from aging and getting sick. They are faster and stronger than mortal humans, and need to drink blood like vampires, because blood is the resource of energy for the nanos. They can read minds from immortals and mortals. And each immortal has a soulmate, the sex between soulmate is very special and intense, and they will be blacking out when they reach a mutual climax from the extreme pleasure.

So, in my story Y/N finds her mate in Tony and of course it's getting steamy. I hope ot turned out okay, because I am not so happy with it. But have fun.

Warnings: alternate universe! Vampires (Immortals), sassy Y/N, fluff, smut

...

Tony showed you around the Avengers Compound and finally you reached his precious lab.

„So, here you are hiding all the cool stuff, sweety,“ you chuckled and were stunned by his inventions.

„Of course, you think it’s cool, because you didn’t have it back then, right?“ Tony added with his genuie smile.

You boxed him playfully in the side and shaked smiling your head. „You can’t stop reffering everything to my past.“

„No, you are the grams here,“ he laughed and couldn’t stop teasing you.

You weren’t mad at him, because you knew Tony for years now and you were so close, that you saw him as a family member.

„The grams could show you skills that you could never dream of.“

Tony raised his eyebrows quizcally. „What skills?“

„Oh, skills, well… I can show you skills that would drive Pepper crazy in the bedroom. Or maybe I show her and she shows you afterwards?“ You answered seductively.

And Tony laughed again, but this time a little bit nervous.

„I can assure you, we were fine in the bedroom,“ he stuttered barely, and you hadn’t notice if you wouldn’t own highly developed senses.

„Don’t worry; your sex life isn’t in the spectrum of my interests. But I can assure you that I know things… that could bring you two never known pleasure,“ you added nonchalantly.

Tony shook his head in disbelief. „No, you don’t understand, Pepper and I broke up four months ago.“

„What?“ you whispered and looked shocked at him. „Tony, I am so sorry and I began to talk about…“

„It’s fine, Y/N, I didn’t tell you, because I wasn’t heartbroken. We decided both that it’s better for the both of us and she’s very happy with her new partner.“

„Did she cheat on you? Because when she did, I will beat the…“

„Y/N, stop! No one cheated on the other and I’m not sad about it. We did it, because I didn’t love her as I should have,“ Tony interrupted you for the second time. „And now: no words about this anymore.“

You were surprised by his demanding voice, but you only nodded. You had to accept his pleading not to talk about it anymore. But there was one thing you could do for him.

You walked over to him and hugged him from behind. Your hands crossed over his chest and you laid your head on his shoulder. You wore high heels, so he and you were nearly the same heigh.

He placed his right hand above yours and turned his head to you. „I’m really fine, Y/N,“ he said with a smile and kissed your cheek. He let go of your hands and you released him out of your arms.

„But I can still show you the skills for the next women in your bed?,“ you tried to light the mood between you.

Tony nearly chocked on the water he was drinking.

„Why do you always discountenance me?“ he asked with a raspy voice.

You shrugged your shoulders. „I don’t know, maybe you’re addicted to me?“

You smiled at him as you walked around in the lab. You knew that Tony followed you with his eyes.

„No… I’m not… we are friends.”

„It’s okay, sweety. To be honest I haven’t had sex in eighthundred years.“

Tony’s jaw dropped down.

„Ehm… are you serious? Eighthundred years? How did you survive this?“

The shock was plastered on his face and his mouth hung still open.

„My mate died. He was the only men I’ve ever got intimate with. And then my sexual desire faded away and well… to get it back I have to meet an another mate,“ you explained with a straight face.

„I’m so sorry, Y/N, I didn’t know. Is that normal for your species? I mean, happens this to every immortal when they don’t have a mate?“ Tony felt bad that he caused sad memories of your passed mate.

„Don’t be sorry, Tony. In the early years I still had sexual interest in other people, but I didn’t follow this instinct, because it was another time and it was no go unless I would be married. And it would’ve faded completely if I hadn’t met my mate. But after his death it’s gone along with no appetite for human food, but this you knew already.“

„And what would happen if you meet a new mate?“ Tony asked curious.

Your eyes began to sparkle, because you remembered how you felt when you met your mate for the first time.

„First, I can’t read his minds. Then my appetite for food will come back and finally I would go insane, because all I would think about is that I want to fuck him. And of course we would fall deeply in love with each other.“

„And you never find a men like this again?“

You shook your head and sighed sadly. „There is a chance, but…“

You looked at Tony and couldn’t believe that you actually talked with him about mates. He was never interested in this topic, but you saw how his brain processed the informations.

„Could you only love your mate truly?“

„I can love whoever I want to love. But with your mate it’s a different kind of love.“

„So you could love someone who is not your mate?“

„Yes, like I said. But why you want to know?“ you asked curious, because Tony seemed to be nervous. You watched him intensely, but he just shooked his head like he would try to get rid of bad minds.

„Just for science, Y/N, your species is very interesting. Did you know that?“ Tony explained with a slight smile.

You raised an eyebrow suspiciously. „Yeah, I know, that’s because no one knows about immortals. The human kind would make experiments and tests with us and would want to steal our technology.“

„What technology?“ Tony asked in confusion.

„The technology that made us immortal. The nanos in my organism that keep me strong and healthy.“

„What nanos?“ Tony’s voice got higher and he came over to you. He stood a few inches away from you and looked at you very curious now.

„In my organism are little nanobots that live there. They repair every cell if I get injured and prevent my cells from aging.“

„And how they work? What is their source of enery?“

You chuckled, because he got excited like a kid.

„With blood. My body can’t produce enough blood, so I have to drink blood.“

„That’s incredible. And from where did you get the nanos?“

„You can’t buy or build them. No one knows how the sciencetists invented them. I was born this way, Tony. So I don’t know.“

„You were born like this?“ You could hear the disbelief in his voice. „That’s impossible, Y/N. If it’s true, then the nanos can copy themselves?“

„Believe it or not, but they can do.“

„You’re a miracle!“ Tony exclaimed.

You started to panic, because he was extreme excited about the knowledge he achieved and you thought your relationship would change from now on.

„Tony, everything I told you… I did tell you because I trust you. You have to promise me to keep it a secret,“ you pleaded him and your weak voice made him sober from his childish excitement.

He sighed heavily. „I know. I don’t want you to get problems with your people.“

„Thank you,“ you answered greatfully.

„But you are still a miracle to me, Y/N. Could you tell me more?“

You breathed deeply in and out. „Maybe next time, Tony. I think that was enough information for you at one day.“

„Yeah, maybe you’re right, but if I thought my stuff is cool, you’re so much cooler,“ Tony said seriously.

You pursed your lips, because his words abashed you. So you turned away from him and don’t know what to do, you weren’t used to compliments from Tony.

„You don’t need to be embrassed,“ Tony tried to reassure you. „You’re a stunning women.“

You smiled slightly and nodded at him.

„I see, enough of you being gorgeous and so on,“ he chuckled.

You weren’t sure why the compliments from Tony made you feel ashamed. You always got compliments about your beauty and appearance, but no one ever said being an immortal is a miracle. You’re used to your condition and you never talked with human about it.

You looked at Tony and you both stood there in silence. Neither of you knew what to say.

If he only knew that your heart was pouding in your chest like crazy since he picked you up at the airport. The tight hug he gave you and then he took your hand, it felt so right in this moment. Earlier he asked if you ever had met a new mate. Well, you knew that he was your mate since you met him two years ago. You couldn’t read his minds, but you never told him. He thought that you didn’t read his minds, because you respected him and didn’t want to be impolite.

„Y/N, are you alright?“ Tony asked suddenly and your head turned immadiately in his direction. You looked him right in the eyes and could see his concern.

„I’m fine, Tony, I was just thinking.“

„About what? I know you can read my minds, but it would be awesome if I could read your minds too,“ Tony suggested.

You didn’t answer, because you didn’t want to lie again. It would be better, if you tell him the truth. Be brave, you told yourself.

„In fact… I… I can’t your read your minds,“ you admitted sheepishly. Now the cat was out of the bag and you bit your lip as you watched nervously his reaction.

He raised his eyebrows in surprisement. „You can’t?“, he stuttered.

„Why? How long? Y/N, what does that mean?“ He tried to figure what was going on.

You didn’t realise that you were holding your breath and breathed out shakily. „It means you could be my mate.“

You were shocking Tony for the third time this day and his head began to feel dizzy.

„But why did you never say anything? I mean, if I’m your mate, then you’re my mate, too. And that’s…“

„Impossible, I know,“ you interrupted him this time. „You already said we’re just friends.”

„No, Y/N, I think it’s awesome. Astonishingly I didn’t expect that would it be so perfect.“

Bewildered from his words your expression turned from sad to suspicious.

„Why is this perfect for you?“ You asked carefully, you weren’t prepared for his answer.

„It feels like a dream come true, Y/N,“ Tony answered hoarsely. He looked at you with a big smile and came closer to you, wrapping you tightly in his arms.

You could feel his breath on your skin and the strength of his muscles, but you were so surprised by his actions that you placed your hands at his chest, but you didn’t push him away, you just leaned back to better look at him.

„Please, explain me, Tony, what’s gotten into you? I thought you don’t think in this way about me. I told you, you could be probably my mate and you are so happy about it… That’s not the typically reaction of humans to the revelation that they could be the mate of an immortal.“

You were still suspicious and tried to read his face, if that was all true or just to try a shot to get more information from you.

You could tell that his actions showed you otherwise. His sweet smile and the hope in his eyes. You were still confused, but you hoped for all good.

„Since the first day I met you, I have a massive crush on you. You were so pretty in that white dress and your smile made my head spin. And when I started flirting with out, you just turned my advances down. But I didn’t want to give up and you finally said yes to go on dinner with me. We got to know each other and I realized that we worked perfectly as friends, and I didn’t want to lose this new friendship. So I stopped my plans to seduce you and here we are two years later,“ Tony ended his explanation and you shooked your head confused.

„You like me for two years and never told me?“ you said affronted with a loud voice.

You saw a flash of hurt in Tony’s eyes.

„I am truly sorry, Y/N. I just thought you wouldn’t like me back in this way, so I never started to…“

„I don’t like you, Tony,“ you admitted and wanted to make this point clear.

Tony felt like someone punched in his face. He immediately stepped back from you. „What kind of game is this, Y/N?“ he asked you with anger in his voice.

„Let me finish, Tony.“

Tony just nodded and you took a deep breath. You didn’t want to hurt him, but you need to say it this way.

„Finally I can say it. Tony, I am madly in love with you. I’ve waited eight hundred years for you, there would an simple ‚I like you too‘ sounds too boring.“

Obvious relief was shown on Tony’s face. „You had no idea how scared I was. Don’t ever do this again to me.“

You smiled slightly.

„So, do you want to be my mate?“ you asked carefully, because Tony definitely knew now what it means to be your mate.

„Is this still a question? Y/N, I love you and I want to be together with you. So of course, I want to be your mate.“

He pulled you back in his arms and pressed your body flushed against his. You felt his warmth and you heard his heart hammering in his chest. His face was buried in the crook of your neck.

This was so much affection within seconds and the feeling was overwhelming for you. You scooped your arms around his shoulders and closed your eyes, inhaling his unique scent.

„Is this the part when I can finally kiss you?“ Tony mumbled in your ear and you nodded encouraging.

He placed a little kiss right under your ear and continued with more kisses over your cheek until the corner your mouth. „You want more?“ he whispered against your lips.

With a bright smile you pressed your mouth on his. It was something you wished it had happened already a long time ago. But it felt better then in your imagination. You often thought about how his lips would feel, how his touches on your bare skin would feel. You always liked it when his strong arms were hugging you and his hands were kneading your back when it was tense.

First it was a simple kiss, without much pressure. You breathed calmly through your nose and smiled slightly against his lips, because it made you really happy that this kiss finally happened.

His lips began to move, you obliged and kissed him back with much more passion this time, you changed the angle of kissing him and now you two had a much better access to each other.

Tony tested if you wanted to go further when the tip of his tongue tracing your lower lip. You opened your mouth a little bit and you met his tongue halfway. He was licking in your mouth, demanding but still gentle. Your knees went weak when he devoured you.

“Tony, I want you,” you whispered and he all he did was grabbing your thighs and sat you on the table behind you. His strong thighs between your legs, his firm muscles pressed against your breasts and his mouth was searing hot against your skin at your neck.

“You have me, you have me always if you want to.” Tony sucked hard on your neck and you would leave marks, but sadly not for too long.

“Oh, yes, Tony.” His hands pulled you on your hips closer to him and you were pressed together with every part of your bodies. You could feel everything and it felt awesome to be near him.

Your mouths found back to each other and this time you laid all your feelings in this kiss. You wanted him to know that he was loved by you and that he deserved to be loved. You knew about his struggles in the past and you were sure he still had issues, but was just too proud to show it.

You were sad that things didn’t work out with Pepper, but he told you it was okay and you believed him. On the other side you were happy that you could finally be together with him.

His hands wandered under your shirt and you moaned against his lips when he touched your bare skin. “Are you comfortable?” Tony asked with a lower voice and just kissed him hard.

He traced your skin up from your hips over the sides to your ribcage and his large hands fit perfectly to your torso. His thumbs brushed the lower side of your breasts and your breath hitched in your throat.

“Please, Tony. Touch me. You can touch me everywhere. I just want to feel you,” you said desperate and wanted than just to kiss Tony.

You saw the excitement in his eyes and with a little growl he picked you up. Automatically you wrapped your arms and legs around his tall figure. Now it was your turn to kiss his face and neck, you nipped at the skin under his ear, bit slightly down above his collarbone. You heard him moaning quietly and his hands grabbed your flesh harder.

“Keep doing this and I will take you against the wall right now,” he threatened and you looked in his face. “Is this a promise?” you asked him with a grin and squeezed your legs around him what made your core pressed to his lower parts.

“Well, I rather like to have you in my bed, preferably naked.” With these words he walked straight to his bedroom. On the way he lost his shirt and you continued to kiss his new exposed skin.

A moment later you were laid down on the silky sheets and Tony helped you to strip down to your underwear. Purple bra and matched panties. He looked at you with hungry eyes and your body shivered in anticipation.

“I will make you mine and I’ll be yours,” Tony said with a serious voice and leaned down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. You knew that sex with a mate was very intensive. You experienced it once with your first mate. But Tony wasn’t aware of the feelings that your intimate actions would cause.

Your skin was already on fire, every inch he kissed and touched was burning. Your bra disappeared a few minutes ago and Tony was mesmerized by your breasts. He licked and sucked and kissed the way over your upper body to your stomach and you moaned louder with every passing second.

“Can I take them off?” Tony was smiling to you and you could just nod. You weren’t able to speak and all you wanted was him close to you again. He hooked his fingers under the hem of your panties and pulled the last piece of your clothes down your legs.

You opened your thighs when he crawled back up. You helped him to push his jeans and boxers off and finally you were bare, skin on skin. “Tony, I need you. You feel so good. I thought I would never be with you like this. That I could never have the chance to love you, to tell you how much I love you.”

“I love you too,” he answered and looked into your eyes. “I’m so lucky to be here with you.”

“And there will be a lot more times like this.” You caressed his cheek and leaned into your touch. He kissed your palm and took your hand in his.

Slowly you touched his chest, feeling his old scars underneath your fingertips, and you watched awestruck how well build his muscles was despite his age.

“I think… I think you were used to more defined bodies, because you are all so good in shape… oh, Y/N,” he stuttered and you hushed him when you kissed his face and your hands roamed his upper body. You reached his waist you decided to grab his butt with both hands and he gasped loudly, his hips jolted forward into your core.

The friction was delightful and you throw your head back. Tony buried his face in the crook in your neck. “What a naughty girl,” he mumbled and began to rock his pelvis against yours.

“You want my cock, baby girl, right?”

You felt how hard he was and your little action have change his whole behaviour.

“Tony, please, don't make me wait,” you begged whining and he didn't let him tell twice.

He put his weight on one hand beside your head and used the other to position himself before your entrance. You opened your legs a little wider and you felt the pure bliss when he slowly sank into you.

“Oh god, just like that,” Tony groaned above you and then he started moving. It was a fast pace and he thrusted deep inside of you. Tony hit all the right places and soon you were clinging to him, encouraging him to take you harder. To make you fall apart from the pleasure he caused to you.

“You are taking my cock so good. If you keep squeezing me like that I will come too soon.”

You kissed him hard again and you both moaned when his thrusts went sloppier, but gained on pace.

“Come with me, my mate.”

You didn't try to focus on his face when you reached your climax and your walls clenched down on him.

You view began to blurry and you welcomed the darkness.

Well, it's gonna be funny when you both will wake up and Tony realizing he passed out from his orgasm.

[mythicvls]

          WHAT’S CRACK’A’LACKIN Y'ALL ?!?!  my name’s sun  AND  i  live in the cst time zone. ( T E X A S  BBY 🤠 )  i hope ya’ll are all having a good day, afternoon, night !! whatever time it may be where you are out there in the WORLD. sorry i’m a bit late but i’m super excited to get this show on a roll. <3333  . i suck at intros, so pls bear with me.,  buuuuut !! i’ll be introducing, brianna and leo . one is your crazy inventor who works in the forge, and the other is your uptight hero who is obsessed with doing everything by the book. if you wanna know more about them, check out what’s below !!  like this and i’ll go to your messages to spam u with love. THANKS  . 

♡    ——    MEET  BRIANNA   !!

[  PARK CHAEYOUNG, SHE/HER, CISFEMALE  ]  —  [  BRIANNA  BANG  ]  is a child of  [ HEPHAESTUS ]  with the power of  [  TECHNOKINESIS & ENHANCED CRAFTING  ] .  they were born in  [ 1997 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2013 ] .  with the change, they  [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ]  the  [ TECHNOLOGY ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ CREATING NEW GADGETS & GETTING OTHERS TO TEST THEM OUT ]

(  ABOUT PAGE  )

its ya girl , brianna bora bang !! aka bree !! daughter of hephaestus and one of the smiths who works in the forge .

growing up, bree’s childhood was relatively calm and uneventful. she was raised by her single-mother, who worked as a mechanic and though they didn’t have much , her mom still managed to get by , supporting them both the best she could. :’))

tbh, bree didn’t think a lot about her family’s financial situation when she was little. though, with that said,  she was a bit of a pain. 

not because she asked for, or constantly wanted material things, but rather, from a young age she had a knack for taking stuff apart and trying to put them back together again. fascinated by figuring out how certain devices worked. 

that habit eventually turned into bree taking things around the house, and makings ‘ improvements’ or crafting something completely new with the different parts she’d collected from items lying about.

 her mother living pay check to paycheck , was certainly in awe of brianna’s talents, but the young girl’s creative outlet definitely caused  some strESS !!

as one can imagine, she got in a lot of trouble as a kid. having a bit of a mischievous streak coupled along with her curious and imaginative tendencies. her mom wasn’t too happy when she came home to find the vacuum deconstructed , with brianna claiming there was a certain component she needed for the jet pack she was planning on creating

throughout her life, bree was always gathering attention, whether is was due to her odd personality, or the things she was creating. however she was especially attracting people’s attention when it came to the science fairs she enjoyed participating in while she’d been in elementary and middle school --- bringing something completely unexpected to ANNIHILATE ( as she would say )  the competition. 

but, brianna created so much buzz, it wasn’t uncommon for her to end up in local news papers as a young ‘genuis’. 

one time, even recruits from MIT came to check out to see what all the talk had been about. 

 when expressing their interest in her, her mother politely declined their offers. thinking bree may have been too young to consider making decisions like that at the time.

 [ yet, because of the news circulating bree, nl had been another group to approach her mom, along with hephaestus in hopes to provide brianna a safe haven from the potential threat of monsters (etc.), though her mother also refused that offer at the time ]

SO basically, bree just vibed through her early years creating a bit of mischief and making cool stuff with her handy dandy tool box ( or more like her mom’s tool box lmfao) 

she went about every day life as a regular kid, completely unaware of her relation to hephaestus until she neared the age of sixteen.

as she got a bit older, her mother fell in love with a pretty well-off guy who worked as an developmental engineer for the united states milt.. they got married and brianna then had a new step father in her life. despite him being much more strict with her. more than what her mom had ever been , they all got along pretty well. more than anything , bree was jus happy for her mom. 

and, it was a plus that they weren’t struggling as much as they originally had been thanks to his financial help.

however, due to an unfortunate turn of events , and a christmas tree having caught fire; their house burnt down. her mom and her stepfather were rescued by the fire department. unfortunately the same couldn’t be said for bree. watching the house engulfed in flames, they worried frantically about their daughter who’d still been trapped inside. but when bree had escaped through the fire by herself , uninjured and not suffering any burns whats so ever. her step-father , along with the fire fighters that had come to help , were hELLA FREAKED OUT. 

her step-dad was straight up like, i don’t fuk w demons.

and it was after the incident that her mother finally revealed the truth to bree about her biological father, and eventually gave her the option of going to nemean lion. which was information brianna’s mom had for quite some time, but had chosen to keep it to herself , simply cause she wasn’t 100% comfortable with bree leaving her so young.  

THANK GOODNESS THEY NEVER EXPERIENCED A MONSTER ATTACK.

though with what had happened, and her step father’s reaction, bree and her mother came to the agreement that it was probably best if she left for nl. 

she eventually moved in after a couple months of trying to make things work at home ( a compromise she made with her mom ). it didn’t work out sadly, and as soon as she turned sixteen, brianna became an official resident at the hotel.  having stayed at nemean until now !!

when she first got to nl she pretty much just embraced the change. throwing herself into training and what not, trying to figure out where her place was , all that teenage stuff. ‘tryina find urself uwu’ . 

AND she did go on missions quite a bit before the change happened !! having enjoyed tagging along to make some extra money, but her obvious calling was always at the forge. 

brianna now and before, has always had a reputation for walking around nl trying to convince people to give her latest weapons or gadgets a go !!

before the change happened at nl, bree was sorta all over the place. (  A MESS !! )  but her goals have become more focused thanks to entering the technology track. so once again, she embraced change with open arms. 

she’s totally digging the improvement that nemean lion has made.

after graduating from her track relatively fast; working on stuff  is what she mainly does nowadays. 

she’s most often found at the forge. cause when she gets an idea, she’s gotta get it done. she has no chill.

yeah, brianna is smart. but on the highkey, she’s only really knowledgeable in her field of expertise. 

SO, SHE DOES HAVE THAT CHAOTIC STUPID ENERGY COURSING THROUGH HER VEINS. if you ask her to do something dumb, she more then likely is gonna be down / say yes. skdjlfsjd

though bree isn’t necessarily materialistic, she is kinda obsessed with money, and making money. $$$$🤑🤑 part of it has to do with not having  had much growing up, and she wants that security YA KNO. but also , she doesn’t feel totally comfortable asking her mom/step-dad for money. so she out here making her own!!

 money is a big motivator for her.

overall, brianna is a brash, outgoing, oddball who is incredibly determined and hardworking. 

cause she’s always tryina get that promo, she can come off a bit opportunistic, selfish, and conceited when it comes to her inventions. typically she means well, she’s just a bit on the crazy side. 

 she has those mad scientist vibes.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS !!

first friend brianna made at nl ( someone who was around in 2013 ) 

people she often trained with / went on missions with before the change happened

friends she’s known for a while here at nemean lion

loyal customers who commission weapons ( etc.) from her regularly. cause she likes you, she’s always down to give you a good deal.

double trouble --- just two chaotic souls, come together to do fun shenanigans. 

other people who work at the forge with her

brianna’s go to guinea pigs !! basically she goes to ya’ll when she comes up with a spicey new gadget, weapon, invention, knowing ya’ll are almost always game to get your hands on what she’s got for you.

impulse control --- pretty self explanatory, this person just settles her down. probably a mom friend who keeps her from doing dumb impulsive things.

people she just bothers bc she’s got a cool idea for you, but maybe you’re just like nah.

this person has been on the end of one of brianna’s failed inventions that didn’t turn out so hot. so now you REFUSE to try anything for her again.

people in the ambassador track she is constantly trying to get seen with her gadgets for that promo. she really wants to sell her inventions / sell her patents to big companies. $$

exes !! maybe there was DRAMA, or maybe it was a super chill split. if you wanna snatch this up, we can really do whatever ur vibin’.

enemies

frenemies

a mentor when she first arrived at nl ( someone who was around in 2013 ) they really helped her have an easier time adjusting to everything when she moved in at sixteen.

♡    ——    MEET  LEO  !!

[ KIM DOYOUNG, HE/HIM, CISMALE ]  —  [ LEO PARK ]  is a child of  [ ATHENA ]  with the power of  [ ENHANCED OBSERVING  &  ENHANCED STRATEGY ] .  they were born in  [ 1996 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2011 ] .  with the change, they  [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM  ]  the  [ HERO ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ TRAINING or READING IN THE LIBRARY  ]  

(  ABOUT PAGE )

the son of athena, and a graduate from the hero track !!

honestly, leo’s life before nl was pretty boring.

 he grew up in a super small town and was raised by his grandparents after his dad pretty much bailed .

leo was an incredibly bright kid. he learned to read as well as write at a crazy young age, but because he was brought up by his grandparents his taste pretty much reflected his upbringing.  he likes super old music, movies. etc. and he’ prefers considerably less exciting pass times such as  reading books or playing games like chess. he always goes for a walk super early in the morning too which is something he picked up from his grandpa.

leo’s grandparents took care him when he was very little, but as leo grew older he found himself returning the favor and  instead helping his grandparents as they themselves aged over the years.

no one in his household was aware of leo’s ties to his biological mother athena. mainly cause his father never explained anything before he left the family to be on their own. 

leo’s life dramatically changed after he experienced a monster attack when he’d been fifteen years old. 

basically some demigods from nemean lion saved the day and thankfully nothing terrible happened. but leo’s identity as a demigod was finally exposed  to himself and to his family.

 he had a really hard time saying goodbye, as he worried how his grandma and grandpa were gonna do without him. however, he feared putting them in danger above all else. 

he was then taken to nl, where he spent his time up until now.

after he was rescued, leo couldn’t help but look up to the others who regularly went on missions and hunted monsters. naturally, he worked hard with the aspiration to be like them. 

 a lot of that also had to do with why he picked the hero track when the change had come about at nl.

if it wasn’t for moving, leo would have never realized his supernatural abilities. and it was through persistence and intense training that he was able to develop his powers over time, as well as pretty fast.

he has always been incredibly dedicated and disciplined. 

tbh he kinda has those old man vibes, even when he first arrived at fifteen.

 he takes missions and everything a little too seriously. 

he doesn’t really know how to have fun either. so when he is on hero duty, he is super STUBBORN about doing everything by the book. trying not to get too crazy and always wanting to make sure extra precaution is taken. 

he’s not about them risk. he really wants to ensure that there’s little to no damage that will be done if he can help it.

comes off grumpy most of the time, but it’s like 95% bc he kinda just sucks when it comes to people.

 social interaction is not his thing which is why he could have NEVER gone into the ambassador track lmfao.

LEO IS A RULE FOLLOWER, NOT A BREAKER. 

though he’s diligent, responsible and honest, he can also be EXTREMELY gullible, too straightforward, and at times, come off  as nagging or bossy.

overall, he just wants justice, and to ensure things are done right. but he’s not the best communicator, so instead of being diplomatic about it, a lot of the time he’s just like, ‘i’m right, you’re wrong’dkjsldjf

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS !!

people leo has known or been friends with for a while

other demigods who he used to train with or currently trains with regularly

( friendly ?? ) competition --- likely another hero who has graduated from the hero track

someone currently training in the hero track who has asked to shadow leo ( BONUS POINTS IF THEY ARE CHAOTIC AND LEO IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO WRANGLE THEM IN FROM THEIR WILD WAYS, ESPECIALLY WHILE THEY ARE OUT DOING HERO TINGZ )

the demigods who saved leo when he was fifteen ( someone who was around nl in 2011 / before )

unexpected duo----no one would have thought these two would be super close. after all, they are polar opposites, but this person gets leo to come out of his shell 

leo is super uptight, and because of that, this person enjoys messing with him. 

another person that frequents library just as much as him

maybe leo lowkey has beef with someone because every time he wants to check out a book, the mysterious person ‘insert muses name’ always has checked it out before him. one day when he’s talking about it, he finds out it’s YOU!!!!!!! how it plays out is up to whatever u’re feelin. but turns out they have the same taste in books. 

other people that are also uptight like leo and that’s why they get along so well

enemies---for whatever reason the two don’t mix

someone leo has an unrequited crush on , bc he’s lame

[moondustis]

sunshine all around me (m)

pairing: mark lee + reader genre: smut, fluff, minor angst word count: 4,1k summary: “When church camp is over you go home and don’t think about soulmates anymore. You think about graduating, you think about dreams that you can go after and you think about a boy pushing you inside a lake.” a/n: this is a sequel to innocence and heaven all around me, i suggest reading them before this one to understand the plot better.

When church camp is over you go home and don’t think about soulmates anymore. You don’t think about not being the same anymore, or about people leaving you behind. You think about graduating, you think about dreams that you can go after and you think about a boy pushing you inside a lake.

Mark is different from Jaehyun, but similar in a way. He’s comfortable, warm and easy to be around. But he doesn’t treat you like you might break, like a delicate thing, the way Jaehyun did. You find out that you like it.

Mark is different from everyone you have ever met in this small town. He thinks big, outside what everyone seems to want him to do. He wants to chase his dreams just like you, and maybe with you if you get to be this lucky.

It’s a wednesday afternoon, summer break almost at the end and you try not to think about what that implies. Mark is showing you his vinyls as you both sit cross legged on his bed and of of them plays in the background. It’s mostly old stuff, classics that his father passed along, and even if you don’t know half of it you enjoy listening to him talk with such excitement.

“I don’t have a lot of new stuff.” He says, sorting around the albums and getting a pink one out the box he keeps them. “But I got this one recently... Have you heard it?”

He shows you an album that you finally recognize and you can’t help but laugh a little. “Harry Styles? Didn’t take you for a One Direction enthusiast, Mark Lee.” You tease and he blushes at little, shaking his head and laughing with you.

“I swear I’m not.” He says, defending himself and you just nod playfully like you don’t believe him. “But his solo stuff is like, really good. You gotta give it a listen.”

He hands you the album and you examine it. It’s pretty and you like the pink tones. “Yeah? What’s your favorite track?”

“Oh... It’s actually a song that reminds me of you.” He avoids your eyes a bit, his words confident but his body language saying otherwise. It’s extremely endearing. “It’s the one called Only Angel.”

You never heard the song but the name alone and the fact Mark has a song that makes him think of you makes your heart flutter. “Really? I’ll definitely have to listen to it now.”

You give him a sweet smile that he reciprocates, shifting around the bed so he can put the vinyls away. “I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will.” You probably won’t even care if the song is bad. You would probably enjoy anything if Mark told you it made him think of you.

“You know what we should do?” He asks after moving the vinyls away and plopping himself on the bed again so he’s on his back, arms sprawled around. You move to tickle at his exposed tummy without hesitation and he laughs while squirming around.

“Get ice cream?” You guess and he smiles nodding his head.

You walk to the ice cream parlor hand in hand, some people giving second glances your way. You don’t mind it, just laugh when Mark swings your arms together in a silly way.

The two of you haven’t talked about what happened and what is happening yet. You don’t feel the need to and apparently neither does Mark. It’s easy when he kisses you and it tastes like dark chocolate ice cream, and the memory of someone that tasted just like this once is faint.

✱

You meet Mark’s mom a month after summer camp. You have seen her before of course, at church and whatnot but it’s different this time.

Classes are back but you still go to his house frequently, but now it’s after school and his mom there sometimes so he says it would be better if you two met before something awkward happens. Like her finding his catholic son doing not so catholic things.

It goes well, your hands sweating a bit, even more when Mark calls you his girlfriend for the first time.

“Girlfriend, huh?” You tease after his mother has left for work again and you both retrieve to his room.

He looks like a deer caught in headlights, laughing in a nervous way. It’s so easy to rile him up. “Oh. I-I just thought that it would be okay.” He stumbles over his words, talking a bit too fast. “Sorry for not properly asking.”

You laugh, sitting on his bed and gesturing for him to come forward. “It’s okay, Mark. ‘M just teasing.” Your hands settle on his arms, tugging him down so you can get a kiss. “I like being your girlfriend.”

He hums before kissing you, sweet and warm like always, hands on your hair to tilt your head in a better position. You love the taste of his chapstick and how he looks at you with puppy eyes when you break the kiss. “You do?”

You nod. “And I like kissing you too.” He kisses you again, deeper this time with his tongue licking against your lips until you finally part them, letting his tongue move against yours in a way that has become familiar.

He moves you further to the bed during the kiss in a messy way that you don’t mind. It’s nice to have him on top of you, your hands gripping at the hair on his nape as he kisses you with a bit more purpose.

“What else do you like?” He asks when you break the kiss to catch your breath. He sounds confident, almost seductive and it’s such a high contrast to the boy who lost his virginity to you in a church camp that you can’t help but tease.

“Hmm, let me think.” You joke, hands moving to his neck and he shivers a little while smiling at your antics. “I like how you feel on top of me, Mark.”

You notice his eyes are blown now, mouth parting at your words. “What else?” He asks again, in an almost whisper now.

“I like... when you fuck me.” You whisper back, stuttering a bit as your cheeks go pink to match his. Once upon a time, you would never even think of saying these words, but everything with Mark feels so natural that it makes you brave. “And I like your cock.”

The words just escape you and it’s so dirty that you have to close your eyes in embarrassment. “Holy shit.” Your hear him saying with a breathy voice, almost close to a moan, before he’s kissing you again and you don’t have time to be embarrassed anymore.

It goes like it usually does, Mark dips his hand underneath your skirt and plays with your clit until you’re as wet as he likes. He doesn’t need instructions anymore when he makes you cum with two of his fingers inside, his eyes watching with lust.

He doesn’t need instruction anymore when he finishes getting the condom on and enters you with a moan that you mimic. It’s blissfully almost, but there’s a thought in the back of your head that says more would be good too.

“Mark...” You breath out after another slow thrust, his head immediately coming up from where it’s resting on the curve of your neck. “‘M so close. Please fuck me harder.”

It’s the first time you’re asking for that, his eyes widening a bit. “Harder?” He asks, and you would find it cute if he didn’t look so good with his hair a bit sweaty and lips puffy and red from kissing.

You nod quickly, gripping harder at his back as if to accentuate your want. “Please.” You plead and he mutters a quiet okay before changing the pace of his movements.

He was always so gentle, almost careful, with this, so it catches you out of breath when he starts fucking into you with quick sharp thrusts, each one accompanied by a grunt.

In no time he starts going faster too and it makes you moan his name. This is new to you just as it is for him, when he asks if it’s good all you can do is nod with whines falling from your lips.

You close your eyes and images of his hands around your neck one day fills your mind. Of his hand coming down in a slap that makes your ass red and tingle. You can’t imagine sweet and caring Mark doing something like that, but maybe that’s what makes the thought so good. Maybe that’s what makes you come with your whole body arching from the back and his name spilling from your lips.

He follows soon after, cursing when he finally finishes inside of you. One of his hand grips tightly at your waist, making you clench around him and he cries out.

You giggle when he plops himself beside you on the bed after throwing the condom away and putting his boxers back on. He looks relaxed now, without a care in the world as he cuddles you closer. For now you won’t think about the test you have tomorrow or how it scares you a little that Mark Lee is engraving himself in your heart without even noticing.

✱

You had forgotten that this would happen, even if your mother had told you a million times. She was beyond excitement that Jaehyun would be coming to visit his parents for a weekend, telling you about dinner plans and whatnot.

So when friday comes, you get home from school to find him sitting on your front porch. The same front porch he had kissed you for the first time.

He doesn’t notice your arrival until you’re clearing your throat and his head is shooting upwards. “_____!” His voice is half surprised, half out of breath, as he gets up from the stairs and stops for a couple uncertain seconds before he’s hugging you. “How long has it been, holy shit.”

You hug him back, a little out of breath from the strength he’s putting in this hug. “Hi, Jae.” You mutter against his chest, feeling a hundred of feelings twirling around your head. “Long time, huh?”

It had been almost a year since last time you saw him, during christmas and even then it was just a brief hello before he had to leave again. He looks the same, you notice when he breaks the hug, the only difference is his hair shade that’s just the slightest brighter now.

It’s not weird, the way he keeps a hand on your cheek. It’s caring and platonic, like everything that surrounded Jaehyun had been for you for the past years. “I really missed you.” He says genuinely and you say the same words back, hugging him again. “Do you have anything to do now?”

You shake your head. “Not really, why?”

“Then let's get ice cream.” He says, giving you a smile that’s too familiar.

It’s not weird, you tell yourself, as he sits across from you outside the ice cream parlor across the church. It’s nostalgic, that’s why you get the weird feeling in your chest. You eat the dark chocolate one and he gets vanilla. You want to ask but you don’t.

“So you and Mark Lee, huh?” He asks around a scoop of ice cream, eyebrows raising at you.

You blush, feeling guilty for some reason. “Did my mom tell you that?”

“Mine actually. Apparently you’re the talk of town.” He’s teasing in a way that screams Jaehyun and you can’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, well, everyone likes Mark.” You mutter, finishing the last spoon of your ice cream. It was true, Mark, like Jaehyun once was, is the city’s favorite. He always say hello to everyone on the street and sings on church, there’s nothing much to unlike about him.

Jaehyun’s eyes soften. “Come on, everyone likes you too.”

“I doubt that.” You shrug, laughing a little uncertain. “I’ve been missing sunday mass a lot lately... they probably think I’m corrupting him or something.”

Jaehyun laughs with his whole body now, the one that you once considered your favorite in the world. “Like I corrupted you?” His sounds boyish, voice low so no one around would hear it.

“Jaehyun! Oh my god.” You exclaim, slapping his arm from across the table but laughing too. “What is wrong with you?”

“Sorry, sorry. Was just messing with you.” He apologizes insincerely, smirking around the spoon and looking down. “But hey, It doesn’t matter if these people don’t like you, right? You’ll be out of here soon.”

You nod, slowly. “Yeah, you’re right.” Just a few more months and you’ll be leaving just like Jaehyun did. You can already understand why he almost never visits, there’s no future here.

“Are you still going to SNU?” He asks and you nod in reply, a bubble of excitement on your stomach. “What about Mark?”

His question sounds like nothing more than that, but you know he wants to know if you’ll have to go through that again. Wants to ask ‘is Mark going to leave you like I did?’

“He’s going there too.

” You say with a small smile on your lips and you can practically hear his sigh of relief.

“That’s nice... really nice.” His voice is genuine and he looks at you now, with eyes warm and you remember a time where he felt like home. Not with bitterness, never that. “I’m really happy for you, ____. Mark is a nice dude. And it’s nice to see you living in your life, even if I find out about most of it through mom’s gossips.”

You laugh, reaching out for his hand and squeezing it. “I know, Jae. I promise I’ll do better at updating you on my latest news.”

For some reason, in your overdramatic mind, this feels like he’s finally returning the pieces of your heart that he took with him that day years ago. You would tell him that he will always be a part of your life, but there’s no reason to. He already knows because you will always be a part of his too.  It was meant to be like this.

“But tell me, when did you and him even get together?” He breaks the sentimental moment.

“At church camp.” You immediately regret telling him because knowing Jaehyun, you know he’ll tease you about this for the rest of your life.

✱

You and Mark are cuddling in your living room couch, watching some tv show that he was really into but you didn’t catch the plot exactly, drifting asleep from time to time. Something about a bank heist or something.

He comes to your house a lot lately now that your mother finally got used to him, falling to his boyish charm like everyone around town. You usually did homework but graduation was close now, the old responsibilities not as heavy.

You’re almost falling asleep again, the sound of the tv show fading away when you feel his hand moving to your neck and you whine at him interrupting you. “Noo, I was almost asleep.”

He laughs softly, the one you love so much and suddenly you’re not that bothered anymore. “Sorry, baby.” The nickname has been a normal occurrence these days because the two of you had a fight, making him extremely loving afterwards, as if to apologize even if you weren’t upset anymore.

You watch him through sleepy eyes, eyeing the dark circles around his eyes and the stubble that he forgot to shave this morning. He continues to play with your neck, until his hand descend just a little and he starts to play with the little cross pendant you always wear, his eyes following the movement. “Jaehyun’s mother gave it to me.... the necklace, I mean.” It just escapes from you but he doesn’t seem bothered by the mention of Jaehyun, never is.

His eyes just move to yours, softening as he smiles at you. “I really like it.”

“Me too.” You mutter, moving to press a peck to hips because it seems fitting and because you want to. He seems to like it, pressing peck after peck on your lips until you’re giggling and telling him to stop.

“I had an idea.” He says suddenly, sitting up on the couch and moving you alongside. The tv show playing is long forgotten.

You look at him with a suspicious look. “Hm, what is it?”

“We should go on like, a road trip or something like that.” He says, eyes not leaving yours, almost pleading for you to say yes. “After graduation, to have one last memory and all that.”

“A road trip?” You ask, laughter in your voice. “Where would we even go?”

He thinks for a second. “I don’t know... To the beach, maybe? You always talk about how you want to go there.”

“It’s gonna be winter then, Mark. We won’t even be able to swim.” The two of you know you’re just arguing for the fun of it, when it comes down to it you’ll go anywhere with him.

“Come on, baby.” He whines. “We can go for the view. And we’ll be together so there’s no way it won’t be fun.”

You throw a little show of acting like you’re pondering if you should go or not before you’re smiling at him. “Yes, let’s have a road trip.” He celebrates with with a deep ‘let’s get it’ before pressing another peck to your lips, making you laugh. “Will your dad be okay with letting us borrow the car?”

“Of course, baby. We’re just two christian kids going on a religious journey, what could go wrong?” He says in a funny voice and you laugh even harder.

✱

Graduation comes in a blink, and soon after you’ve posed for pictures and gotten your diplomas, you find yourself with Mark in his dad’s car.

It’s sunny outside but still cold enough that you can’t keep the windows open for too long. By far not the perfect weather to go to a beach but you’re still excited when Mark pulls from the driveway and drives until you’re on the road.

You’re only one hour into the five hours drive when you start getting impatient. The song that plays on the radio a bit boring and the excitement of doing this making giddy. “Are you hungry?” You ask Mark just to say something, but if he is there’s a lot of snacks packed on the bag sitting on the backseat.

He laughs at your question. “Of course not, baby. We literally ate before we left.” He says, sneaking a glance at you with his kind eyes before he focuses on the road again. “Are you bored already? I told you can take a nap if-“

“Nooo.” You cut him. “I promised I wouldn’t fall asleep. Gotta make you company since I can’t drive.”

“Suit yourself.” He laughs again and it’s sweet, so sweet that you feel like a teenage girl with a crush. Since you’ve gotten in the car you have had this feeling in your stomach, like the butterflies that you felt when the relationship were just beginning are going crazy again. Maybe it’s because Mark is driving you to a place that he knows you’ll like, maybe it’s because you’re finally both alone without a care in the world. Whatever it is, you hope he feels the same way.

You look outside the window for a moment, the sun is weaker now and you hope it won’t be gone so soon. “Doesn’t this feel like a thing that would happen in coming of age movie?” You wonder out-loud, not taking your eyes out of the window.

“Like the ones you like to watch?” You hum as you pass by a theme diner that you wish you could stop by. “What’s the plot? Madly in love couple go on a road trip before college starts?”

You snort, ignoring the butterflies going even crazier at the little word. “That’s exactly what the plot is.”

“I would definitely watch it then.” His voice is teasing and it makes you laugh. “Especially if you were the main character.”

You let out a silly shriek and he laughs too. “Oh my god. Are you flirting right now, Mark Lee?”

“I don’t know... did it work?” He asks smugly, doing a kissy face without taking his eyes out of the road and you can’t help but give in, pressing a smacking kiss to his cheeks with a small giggle.

“It did.” There’s a silly smile on your face that he mimics. “You know it always does.”

“That’s kinda corny, not gonna lie.” He teases but still moves his hand to your lap so he can hold yours.

“Says the corniest man alive.” The offended gasp he lets out is so funny and well place that you spend the next minutes laughing until you’re tired.

You stay in a comfortable silence for the next hour, only making comments here and there, with the radio playing songs that you mostly don’t know. You wish you had remembered to make a playlist to listen to.

You almost doze off a few times but never falling completely asleep, sometimes watching Mark drive, in a way that’s weirdly attractive to you, and other times looking outside the window.

It stays like this until a familiar tune starts playing on the radio and you’re muttering an ‘oh my god.’

“Dude, no way.” Mark says excitedly as he moves to turn the volume up. It’s a song that he showed to you one day, one that was a part of his vinyl collection and you’re both giddy that a song that you recognize is finally playing.

You both hum and sing along to it while the singer’s voice blasts through the speakers. “And I take a deep breath and I get real high!” You sing loudly, making Mark laugh as he takes quick glances at you and your improv performance with your phone. “And I scream from the top of my lungs...”

“What's going on?” You both scream with the radio, laughing afterwards.

As the chorus starts, you act on impulse and open the window so you can stick you head outside while Mark sings the ‘yeah, yeahs’ and drums on the steering wheel. You don’t even mind the cold wind hitting your face and making your hair fly around. You feel happy and in love and when you get inside again, looking at Mark, he has a smile on his lips that tell you he feels the same way.

✱

You finally get to the beach an hour later because you make Mark stop at another themed restaurant that you couldn’t let pass by, but it’s perfect because the sun is setting and it looks like something out of  a movie.

“This is so perfect, Mark.” You breath out when you two finally make to the sand. You don’t mind the cold wind , actually think that it makes it even better.

“Yeah.” He lets out a sigh, his hair getting in all directions and his nose turning pink from the cold. “Was worth the drive, huh?”

You hum, moving closer so you can hug him. “Thank you for bringing me here.” He feels warm because of all the layers he has on, and his cologne is still strong making you sigh as you continue to watch the sunset with your head resting on his chest.

“Thank you for coming with me.” His words are muffled but so sincere that you’re hit with the wave of infatuation that has been building ever since you got into that car. Maybe ever since you took his virginity inside an old cabin. You could cry as you look at him, your eyes glassy as he meets them and gives you your favorite smile in the world.

“I love you, Mark.” You mutter quietly, like it’s a secret you share. It’s the first time either of you have said it, jokes about being in love aside, and it feels right.

“I love you too.” He says just as quietly and then you’re both giggling like silly before he kisses you.

It you still believed in soulmates you’d probably say Mark is yours, because that's just how you are and that’s how it feels like. But you don’t believe in that anymore. You believe in the way you feel when Mark is around and you believe in the way he makes you smile without even trying.

And deep down you believe this is how it was meant to be all this time.

[supernatural-fangirl1967]

This Isn’t Going to Work - Part 4

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 1,382

Square Filled: Wrong Place Wrong Time

A/N: This was written for @spndeanbingo.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Series Masterlist

Looking around your new apartment, you take a deep breath and shake your head. You know that making a new life for yourself isn't going to be easy, but you have to start somewhere. You had little belongings, so you didn't have any boxes to unpack. Just your bag with your clothes and the picture of you and Dean.

You're thinking about the furniture you'll have to buy, wanting to keep it to a minimum, when your phone rings. It startles you, because nobody should have your number yet. You don't recognize the number across the screen, but you have a feeling that you should answer it anyways.

"Hello?"

"(Y/N)."

You freeze at the sound of the voice. "How did you get this number?"

"That's not important right now."

"How did you get this number?"

"Listen (Y/N)..."

"Answer me, Sam."

"Dean's hurt."

Those two words make your whole world stop. "Wh-What?"

"He, um... He's hurt pretty bad. (Y/N), it doesn't look good."

You feel like your knees are going to give out on you, so you walk over to the steps and sit down. "What happened?"

"We got separated on a hunt, and when I found him he... You need to get here now if you want to see him."

You swallow hard and close your eyes, trying your best to keep the tears at bay. "Sam, I doubt Dean even wants to see me."

"(Y/N), I don't know what happened between you and Dean. I know you two were mad at each other that night, but..."

"Sam, what happened between me and Dean had nothing to do with that stupid argument," you tell him. "I broke off the engagement for a completely different reason."

"And what was that?" Sam asks.

This, you think to yourself. I didn't want Dean to get hurt, and...

"Like you said. It's not important," you say. "Where are you?" ~~~~~~

You make the five hour trip to the hospital in a little over two. You jump out of your car and make a beeline for the waiting room where Sam said he would be. When you walk through the door, Sam stands up and wraps his arms around you.

"You came."

"Of course," you tell him. "How is he?"

Sam shakes his head as you both sit down. "I don't know. They've not told me anything yet other than to prepare for the worse."

"So this happened on a hunt?"

Sam nods his head. "A wendigo. I never should have agreed to go opposite directions."

"Don't," you say softly. "Don't blame yourself, Sam. I've been doing enough of that here lately for the both of us."

You both stare down at the floor for a long time. Eventually, the silence becomes too much for Sam.

"What happened between you two?" Sam asks. "(Y/N), I know it wasn't because you two were on bad terms. It doesn't take a genuis to see that you two still love each other."

You swallow hard. "You're right," you reply. "It has nothing to do with our feelings for each other. We just realized that the universe seemed bent on keeping us apart, and that one of us was..."

Sam raises an eyebrow at you. "One of you would what?"

"Get hurt," you choke out. "I gave Dean the ring back because I was afraid one of us, especially him, would end up getting hurt. And look what good that did. I was going to stay at the bunker and help you two still, but I just... I couldn't do it, Sam. I couldn't see Dean everyday knowing that I love him, but also knowing that we couldn't be together."

"Did you ever stop to think that what's putting you in danger is simply the fact that you two are hunters, and not because you're in love?"

You shake your head. "It's worse when we were together, Sam, you know that. We were always getting used against each other."

Before Sam can reply, the door opens up and a doctor walks into the room.

"How is he?" Sam asks quickly as you both stand up.

"At this point, it's a miracle that he's even alive," the doctor replies. "But he's definitely not out of the woods yet."

"Is he going to be okay?" you ask.

"It's too soon to tell, but we're keeping him as comfortable as we can."

Sam nods. "Can we see him?"

"You can go back anytime."

"Thank you," Sam replies before the doctor leaves the room. "You ready to go back?'

You take a deep breath and shake your head. "You go on."

"(Y/N)..."

"I just need a minute."

"Were you not listening to me while ago?" Sam asks you. "Dean still loves you. He'll want you to be there when he wakes up."

You shake your head. "I've ruined it, Sam. We were going to get married, and I got scared and..."

"Hey, not right now, okay?" Sam tells you. "Just go back there with me, and if Dean decides that he doesn't want you there when he wakes up, then you can go. But just... You need to just be there."

"Okay," you nod. "I'll go." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wipe away yet another tear as you stare at Dean's lifeless body. Sam left a little while ago to go get food, leaving you alone with a comatose Dean.

You hold onto his left hand, your eyes barely leaving his face or the monitor tracking every beat of his heart. You look at the bandages that are basically holding him together, and you can't help but to wonder how much pain he's in right now.

"You gotta wake up," you say softly in a strained voice. "This is exactly what we were trying to avoid, Dean. If you die on me now, then there wasn't really a reson for me to give you the ring back, huh? And then that just makes me an idiot. I guess I am anyways, though. I should've taken you back the night you saved my life. I never should have given you up in the first place."

You stop to take a deep breath. "Please, Dean. You gotta wake up. I... I need to tell you how sorry I am. How much I regret the choices I made, even though we both agreed it was the right thing to do. I think Sam was right. We're gonna be in danger wether we're together or not. It's just our lives, and today proves that. It's worse when we are together, but that doesn't mean we have to give it all up. So if you'll still have me, I'll at least move back to the bunker. But you have to wake up, Dean."

You watch for any kind of reaction, but you get none. You sigh and lay your head down on the bed beside of Dean's arm, your hand still holding tightly onto his. When Sam comes back, he finds you asleep like that. He smiles softly and kneels down beside of your chair, placing a hand on your back.

"(Y/N)," Sam says softly. You slowly open your eyes. "Hey, it's your turn."

"What?"

"You should go eat now. Stretch your legs a bit."

You shake your head before looking back over at Dean. "I can't leave him, Sam."

Sam smiles and holds up a bag. "I had a feeling you'd say that."

You laugh a little and shake your head. "Thank you," you tell him, "but I don't really feel like eating right now anyways."

"(Y/N), I know we're both worried about Dean, but we gotta take care of ourselves, too. He'd want us to."

"I know," you sigh. "I know. It's just... There's so much going on in my head right now that..." You trail off when you feel Dean's hand tense against yours.

"What is it?" Sam asks when you quickly stand up out of your chair.

"He moved," you say as you lean over to place your free hand on Dean's cheek. "Dean, can you hear me? Me and Sam are right here, but you gotta wake up. Please."

You wait for a response, but the only one you get is the sudden, continuous beeping of the machine as Dean flatlines.

Tags: @lizwinchester16 @polina-93 @stoneyggirl