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What if They were Dads?
SUMMARY: Headcanons of what I think they would be like as fathers to your child. And what if his dormmates were like honorary uncles to the child?
CHARACTERS: OB Students (Riddle Rosehearts / Leona Kingscholar / Azul Ashengrotto / Jamil Viper / Vil Schoenheit / Idia Shroud / Malleus Draconia)
TAGS: Headcanon; Fem!Reader (AFAB) (I never really know what tags to use but I hope you know what I mean)
WORD COUNT: An average of 690 words per character.
COMMENTS: I would have liked to have made a headcanon about the relationship with the boys' parents and siblings, but since we don't know them that well or at all on the Eng Server like Vil's father, I think I'll leave that for a possible post that complements this one. If you want.
Since I didn't want each character to have a big chunk of text, I put them as paragraphs instead of bullet points.
I hope you enjoy 🩵
CONTEXT: This was written with a cisgender female reader in mind. Reader is Yuu. But if you want (and can) read it in any other way, feel free to.
By the way, this is one of those moments when I wish English had a second person plural, instead of the singular and plural being the same. Whenever I write “your child” I mean it in the plural (you, the reader, and his)
Riddle’s child(ren) call him: Father
Riddle has the same demands and standards for his child that he has for himself. But he doesn't want to make the same mistakes as his mother, so in comparison he can be more permissive. Because of this he will ALWAYS listen to you if you tell him he is being too harsh.
In terms of studies, etiquette and behaviour he is quite strict as you would expect. But when it comes to play he lets his child do almost anything they want.
He doesn't know how to play with his child, but he will always make an effort to learn how to and do it with them. He almost seems to regress to the childhood he never had and wants to give to his child. Whenever the child learns a new game, they will show it and teach it to Riddle and he will be delighted with it.
Although he is strict, he is also relatively protective, especially if your child is a girl. He tries not to be overly protective, but he can't help but worry about your child. If there was a right way to raise a child, is he doing his job well enough? You will have several conversations at first to reassure him that he is doing a good job.
He will study any and all parenting books that experts in child behaviour and education recommend. This kind of knowledge is never too much. Which often leads you to try to convince him to relax and just trust his instincts and what he feels is right. The child is his, not all those authors and experts. Sometimes there are things that a parent simply knows.
Lawful and calm Uncle Trey. They love uncle Trey's sweets! Sometimes Riddle asks him if he's not giving them too much sweets and Trey always assures him that it's okay because he knows how to make healthier sweets and the limit for a child to eat. If they weren't already Riddle's child, the whole thing about always brushing their teeth could be scary.
Chaotic Uncle Che'nya. The crazy and fun Uncle! Your child and Che'nya join forces (maybe even with you) to play pranks on Riddle. Never anything that could get the child into trouble with their father, just enough for everyone, Riddle included, to have fun.
Uncle Ace and Uncle Deuce are more from your side than Riddle's honestly. Ace is a bit like Che'nya in the case of being one of the chaotic pranksters uncles. But he is also the uncle of magic tricks who is always deceiving, but also entertaining your child with them.
Deuce is the rad uncle with a cool moto and/or even cooler blastcycle, who offers to take your child for a ride in it with him. Your child also finds it funny to see the two of them arguing amicably. But it’s even funnier to see them imitating their father trying to order them to stop arguing.
Uncle Cater doesn't show up very often, but they like him. He's not chaotic like Ace and Che'nya, but he's also fun. Your child enjoys receiving compliments from him and taking pictures with him.
Your child imitates their father scolding Grim too. Just like Riddle (and probably because they're still little) they have a very bad temper. Riddle gets embarrassed whenever you say that someone takes after their father.
Leona’s child(ren) call him: Dad
Leona still doesn't like kids... your child(ren) is/are just an exception.
Yes, Leona would treat a daughter slightly differently than he would treat a son. In the same way that he treats men and women a little differently. But the only difference is that he would be tougher on a son than a daughter, but will still be affectionate regardless.
No matter what gender his child is, he wants the same for them: be strong both physically and mentally. To outsiders like some servants or citizens who don't know him, they may get to the point of thinking Leona is a harsh father who doesn't deserve all that love from his child, and he will tell both you and your child not to mind that. But the truth is that he is just like he was with you at school: a tough guy who hides a caring heart.
Leona continues to show himself to be a person who doesn't want anyone to upset him and who would growl at anyone who bothers him. The only people who can get close to him even when he's angry and remain safe and sound are you and your child. He'll still growl at you and your child quietly, but there will be a volume that is the line, like if his growl is louder than that limit it's because he's getting really angry, until then it's just him being him.
Your child will already have the best private teachers and tutors (one of them being Kifaji/Neji if he’s still alive), but even so, Leona will want to make them study and learn more. But in that discreet way that he knows. He will not force them to study more, he will find a way to convince them to want to learn more on their own.
You end up being the most affectionate parent and the one they trust for emotional comfort. Leona is the tough love, you are the soft love (at least in comparison). Leona will always tease you, insinuating that you are too soft and only spoil your child. Although he enjoys when you spoil him too.
He is 100% the ‘Go ask your mom’ kind of dad.
He lets his child take naps with him. And you too.
If he has more than one child, he will police himself not to favor any of them. He may have a tendency to favor the younger ones because of what he went through as the youngest himself, but none of his children will be treated in any special/different way based on their birth order. Neither the youngest nor the oldest.
He will try to convince his child not to be too close (emotionally) to their uncle or cousin, but won't stop them from playing with Cheka. When your child is old enough not to tell others what is said in your home, Leona and them will talk badly about Falena and Cheka behind their backs.
Leona will prefer your child to play with Ruggie and/or his children. On the one hand, he wants to keep them away from his family, but on the other hand, he also wants his child to know what the real world is like, to see both wealth and poverty, to know royalty as they knows their people and only then create their own judgement.
They don't call anyone uncle or aunt other than Falena and his wife. In the same way, Leona also doesn't give cute titles to anyone without being sarcastically. Even when he calls you “love”, “darling”, “honey” or something like that, it's to tease you.
Whenever you go to Shaftlands, whether for democratic reasons or on holiday, you always try to find a way to meet with Jack. Leona pretends that he only helps you with this because you want to see your friend and he wants to get rid of his family. Both you and Jack know that he just doesn't want to admit that he wants to see him too. Jack is the cool parent's friend who taught your child how to snowboard. While they are little they like to hug his tail because it’s fluffy.
Despite everything, he doesn't want his child to have the same lack of hope that he has, and despite trying to hide it, he always feels extremely guilty and bad whenever your child says something like that. At these times he relies on you to be the ray hope in that house, they will both need you for that.
Both Leona and your child are afraid of you when you get really serious or angry.
Do you know that scene from The Lion King where Mufasa uses Zazu to give Simba an pouncing lesson? Leona often does something similar, but instead of the target being a blue bird, it's a magical creature called Grim.
Azul’s child(ren) call him: Daddy (when little) Dad (when older)
Azul is an extremely emotional father, despite trying to hide it. There's going to be a lot of moments like: “HE/SHE IS THE CUTEST LITTLE THING IN THE WHOLE- *clears throat* I mean, he/she is such a charming little child.” He will most likely cry at your baby's first words, steps, anything.
Azul is overprotective! If any living creature even thinks about harming your child, he will tortu- that is, find a completely legal way to ensure that it never happens again. Now, if you'll excuse him, he suddenly felt like talking to Jade and Floyd. (The same protectiveness applies to you.)
Although he is very (secretly) emotional and loves to spoil his child, he is also relatively strict about their studies. He likes to spoil them (and you) when it's deserved, but he will not raise a spoiled child! This ends up balancing things out a bit.
He will hide the whole mafia-like part of his life from his child. Dad is just doing business, boring adult stuff. Maybe when your child is older he will start to reveal a little of that side of his life, if they later want to join their father it will be their choice. But until then, let them be innocent children, they are cuter and happier that way, there is time for everything.
He will always hold back his emotional side so as not to be overly affectionate. Unless his child starts crying. At that point his mask falls completely and he becomes the most affectionate and comforting father there can be, that is his weakness.
And if one day the child realizes this and starts using crying to get what they want from him, he won't know whether to be angry that he is being emotionally manipulated by his own child, or proud that they learned so quickly.
You will be the only one immune to the fake crying.
From the beginning, Azul has been wary and suspicious of letting Jade and Floyd be like uncles to your child. However, you two ended up letting this happen, but Azul will always keep an eye open.
Both Jade and Floyd will definitely use the child to play pranks on Azul. Mostly Floyd, Jade prefers to watch and assist. Azul will always be upset with the twins, never with his child. And depending on the severity of the prank, he will turn on his overprotective side and threaten Jade and Floyd that if that happens again they will never see your child again. They never go beyond that limit.
Every now and then when Floyd plays with your child, he will do that joke where he playfully tells them he's going to catch them and bite them. Actually in his playful voice, he doesn't want to scare them. And they will run to Azul and hide behind his legs asking for help while laughing. Or tentacles if they are in their merfolk form.
If you ask them Jade is the scary uncle (only sometimes) but they themselves don't even know why. It's just his vibe or something. However, they are not afraid to ask any of them for something, it being to play or for help.
Azul loves cooking for you and your child, and they love their father's cooking.
You know those little plastic cashiers where kids pretend to have a little shop and try to sell things to people at home? Usually parents or sibling. Azul loves to play this with his child because it is a great and fun way to pass on his knowledge. Both about sales and about taking care of your money. Usually using the Grim as a guinea pig. Grim also likes to play because he always ends up with food in exchange for toy money.
Jamil’s child(ren) call him: Dad (in informal moments) and Father (at formal events)
Jamil needed to learn to express himself more and better emotionally so as not to end up being a cold father without meaning to. He needs your help to teach your child when to hold back and when to know when they are in a safe space to let go.
The only thing that will follow Jamil forever is an inevitable feeling of guilt for your child having the same fate as him, simply for being his child: serving the Al-Asim family with no other choice. But you can be assured that if there is a way to stop this and give his child freedom of choice, whatever that method may be, he will not give up until he finds it and do it! Normally parents want to give their children what they always wanted and could never have, in Jamil's case it’s freedom.
There was something Jamil wanted to do, but he didn't have the courage to ask the Al-Asim for some kind of vacation. But you had! Using your great friendship with Kalim, you managed to get him to allow you to take a vacation long enough for you to travel as a family, as Jmail wanted. Jamil has always wanted to travel alone, but now with you and your child he would like to travel as a family and give his child the experiences he would have liked to have had himself.
He is quite demanding with his child's education and training. However, his attitude towards this is always calm and collected, and he is attentive to his child's limitations and needs. He is a great and responsible tutor, who knows how to distinguish between being a teacher and being a father.
He is usually quite serious, so you and your child are the ones who start messing with him to have fun and make him laugh. It's always nice when he reminds you two that he can also be a tease. Normal or biggest target of your joint teasing ends up being Grim at some point.
During his work as Kalim's servant, Jamil always had to cook a lot and he's not that big a fan of cooking, so so he can rest at home you're the one who cooks most of the time. He will teach you everything you want to learn and at first you will cook together a lot until you feel comfortable cooking alone. But even then he will continue to offer to help you. Your child will continue to say that Jamil's food is tastier, but yours is prettier. And the food you make together is the best because it’s tasty and pretty. Jamil will also encourage his child to cook with you two so that they can learn from a young age.
His child knows that there is only one thing in this world that can make their father scream in fear: Bugs! If your child is also afraid of insects, you're screwed, because you will be the insect killer in that house. However, if it is just the two of them, Jamil's protective instinct will be stronger and despite his fear he will protect his child. If your child is not afraid of insects, then Jamil will have two protectors. “Can you do dad a favor?”; “Where is it?”; “Living room, south wall last time I saw.”; “Does it fly?”; “...Yes.”
Kalim will treat your child almost like one of his own children, for loving you both so much. He got emotional when he found out you were pregnant, he wanted to help pay for your doctor's appointments if necessary (never was), and he got emotional again when your child was born. He loves buying toys for your child too and give them gifts. He would love for Jamil to let them call him Uncle Kalim. And he loves it when your kids play together.
Vil’s child(ren) call him: Father
Vil wants to have a family that is at its best as he likes to be at his best himself. He wants you and your child to be as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside, just as he strives to be as well. However, he would treat a daughter slightly differently than a son because of the different pressures of societal beauty standards.
With a son he would be as strict with him as he is with himself. But with a daughter, he knows she's more likely to suffer from these kinds of things. So although he continues to be relatively strict and wants her to be the best she can be, he ends up being softer with criticism and stronger with praise and soft love than he would be with a son.
He would hire a specialist, like as a child psychologist or something like that, to always know the best ways to rise and protect your child. Children of famous people like him, especially in the digital and social media age, may need more protection from their parents in this regard, in addition to the toxic pressure of comparison that exists. However, because Vil cares so much about your child's personal development as their happiness, he may end up putting enormous pressure on himself to be a perfect parent too.
Both Vil and your child will need you to be the person who brings them both back to the real world and the life of a loving family with flaws like any human being. Vil will always listen to you if you feel he may be being too harsh and demanding with your child, or with himself in terms of parenting.
If you are the type of person who likes to tease Vil by letting yourself be sloppy from time to time, (always at home) then your child will also like to tease their father like that. “You have your mother’s cheekiness, I see.” Vil sighs but laughs. The teasing includes eating sweets and food that Vil would not approve of. You are the parent they ask for things from and who best comforts and pampers them. You two probably team up to make Vil relax and have fun with you.
His child will have the best teachers and tutors, go to the best schools and best establishments for any extracurricular activity they want to have. Vil will probably force them to have an extracurricular activity but they will be free to choose which one.
Rook is OBSESSED with your child! In a respectful way of course, he is just already a huge fan. The result of combining your DNA with Vil's? MERVEILLEUX! He won't hold back the tears when he sees the baby for the first time. He will LOVE playing with your child. He will babysit for free and will be happy to do so if you ever need. It will be a long time before he stops getting so emotional whenever your child calls him "Uncle Rook."
Uncle Epel is the rad uncle, when Vil is not around. He is that person who will help your child do cool activities that Vil may not allow. Like taking a blastcycle ride with him, eat grilled meats, playing with things that make the child very dirty or other things that Vil didn't like Epel to do when they were at NRC. But if at least one parent allows it (you), then there is no problem. Right? All this, of course, when Vil is not around.
When he is there, both Epel and your child behave like little angels. You and Epel have to be very careful that the child doesn't get careless and say something in Epel's dialect in front of Vil. They love Uncle Epel because it is fun to do cool things without their father knowing and with your help.
Your child likes to use Grim as a doll to dress up in cute clothes. The funny thing is that Grim likes it too because your child eventually realizes that if they tell him he looks cool instead of cute, he'll let them keep dressing him up.
Idia’s child(ren) call him: Daddy (when little) Dad (when older)
Idia doesn't believe he can be a good father. A shut-it and antisocial otaku like him? Are you crazy? That's a disaster! He can't take care of himself, how is he going to help you raise a child? However, and especially with you, he also has that overly cocky side that believes that even being an antisocial nerd he would be 1000 times better than a lot of parents out there. So basically he has a tendency to oscillate between these two moods.
In comparison, you are the strict parent, he is the parent who spoils the child. They are both afraid of you when you get upset. He's a ‘Don't tell your mother’ type of dad. He can't say no to his child, but, oddly enough, he can't be emotionally manipulated either. He may even let his child do a lot of things, but even he has limits to what he knows is good or bad for them.
Because he's the permissive father, he's also the scariest when he gets serious. He can never get really mad at his child, but he can say a firm and assertive “No” if necessary. However, if they are still very young and start crying, he will panic and call you immediately. You will then have to comfort Idia and tell him that no, he did not make a decision that put him on the path to the traumatic and apocalyptic ending. What he probably did was the opposite.
If it depends on him, his child will be a nerd/otaku just like his father. However, he doesn't want them to be socially anxious like him and will always encourage them to go for walks with you outside even if it's without him. That doesn't mean there aren't times you drag him outside with you.
Besides occasionally questioning whether he is being a good father, there is something else that haunts him... He still carries and will probably always carry the feeling of guilt for what happened to Ortho, so he is absolutely TERRIFIED that something like that may happen again.
Idia has always tried to keep your child as far away as possible from all areas that are dangerous or even remotely similar to the hallway where that happened. But if your child ever happens to even enter an area that their father did not allow, they will get to know a side of Idia that sometimes you yourself don’t even remember exists: The overprotective, traumatized side that isn't afraid to scare his child if it means keeping them away from the danger. And probably the only way they'll see his red hair. But it will probably be after that, that the two of you will have an open heart conversation and Idia will apologize.
Now, about Uncle Ortho, they LOVE uncle Ortho! He's the one who goes for a walk with you and your child when you and he can't convince Idia to go too. He is a cheerful uncle who loves to play with your child. You three made up stories to explain why uncle Ortho was a humanoid. You always make up different and crazy stories to jest with them and make them change the subject. The day will come when they will be old enough to know the truth.
Idia may even talk badly about himself a lot of the times, but no matter what his child do, they are talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular and everything good. “Of course that's because they inherited it from you, not me.” He will say with a smile.
Both Idia and your child treat Grim like a pet cat and find it funny to see him getting grumpy.
Idia spoke to his child in that baby voice when they themselves were also babies. And maybe also when they are children to the point where they tell him to stop treating them like babies.
Malleus’s child(ren) call him: Daddy (when little) Dad (when older) Father (at formal events)
The day Malleus found out you were pregnant was already a happy day, but the day your child was born was the happiest day of his life! And every moment with them is the happiest moment of his day. And of course with you too. He totally and completely loves his family!
Anyone who dares to speak ill of the child of Malleus Draconia, especially about the fact that they are half-human, will suffer the consequences! Anyone who spoke openly about the child being something of a disgrace, shame or an abomination was either killed or imprisoned. (Depending on how opposed you really are to Malleus killing or ordering someone to be killed.) and of course, the same applies to talking bad about you.
The problem is that this is doing the same thing to your child that was done to him. He's scaring everyone and making them afraid to come near your child for fear of saying or doing something that might upset them or Malleus. He listens to you and agrees with you, showing concern and thoughtfulness about what should be done. He hates people being disrespectful to the ones he loves, but he also doesn't want his child to go through what he went through.
What ends up happening is that, on Malleus's part, he realizes that he has to start learning ways for people to respect his child without using fear, but to do that he also has to start letting certain insults slide. He doesn't like it, but if it's what's best for his child, he'll do the best he can. Although the same applies if they disrespect you. He hates it so much!
In the case of your child, you are helped by Lilia (if he’s still alive), Silver, Sebek and their families. Perhaps trying to spend more time among their people and with other fae, humans, and half-fae might be beneficial to a child's social development.
Lilia would treat the child as if they were his own grandchild. Even if Silver also has children, they are ALL Lilia's grandchildren! “There's no denying it any longer... I am... officially... an old man... For the best possible reasons!” Everyone will rescue your child from Lilia's food. “Never eat anything that Grandpa Lilia cooks, you hear?”
Silver is the calm uncle who, despite not being the most fun to play with, is the one they turn to when they want to rest and simply have a good chill time. Or take a nap. Probably who they turn to to run away and hide from Sebek when he's being annoying. He ends up being the adult (than is not their parents) that they trust most and feel most comfortable with. Silver is very happy when they ask him for help to get closer to an animal to see it better, and even more so if they and the animals end up interacting and playing with each other.
Now about Uncle Sebek... If there is anyone more protective and flattering of that child than Malleus, it is Sebek. He cried when the child was born, for sure. And cried even more when the child said his name, or whenever they at least tried to. The day they called him "Uncle Sebek" he was about to have a heart attack. The problem is that he ends up being one of those type of person who adores children (although in his case the only ones he likes would be Malleus's and his own children) to the point that the child finds them annoying and clingy. “But don't tell Uncle Sebek that, he'll be sad.”
Whenever the child throws a tantrum that ends up causing their powers to manifest in storms or uncontrolled magic, Malleus will take care of it while you stay away and safe. To him, any attack would be mere tickling, but he always made sure that your child knows that the same does not apply to you. They may end up thinking that you are very fragile while they are little, but it is better this way to ensure that they do not hurt you unintentionally.
This also means that whenever you need to say ‘No’ to your child, Malleus will do it if there is a possibility that they would start throwing tantrums. At least while they are young and cannot control their powers well.
Malleus also runs the risk of being a father who spoils his children.
Your child and Grim probably burn a lot of things around the castle because they play together and they both have fire powers.
If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
And if you would like to read this but with other characters you can write in the comments. If this post has a lot of notes (likes and reblogs) I might consider making a second part with other characters.
#Twisted Wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst headcanons#Riddle Rosehearts#Riddle Rosehearts x Reader#Leona Kingscholar#Leona Kingscholar x Reader#Azul Ashengrotto#Azul Ashengrotto x Reader#Jamil Viper#Jamil Viper x Reader#Vil Schoenheit#Vil Schoenheit x Reader#Idia Shroud#Idia Shroud x Reader#Malleus Draconia#Malleus Draconia x Reader
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Tags: [mlw][mdni][fingering][passionate][ex!fwb][quiet reader][slight breeding kink][light choking][hair pulling][quiet sex][no nudity][nipple play][nipple sucking][promise of pregnancy][low-key right person; wrong time][not proofread because my beta reader's asleep]
"I have a fucking kid and you didn't think to tell me?!"
Dick's voice is low, frustration bleeding into his words and his fingertips dig into his palms, blunt nails leaving crescent indentations in the flesh as he stares down at you.
The worst part is, you look so fucking nonchalant about it too.
Sitting crossed legged on the couch, a mug of steaming hot chocolate cradled in your hands and a plate of cookies resting on the surface of the coffee table. The TV plays one of the older episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and God, the sight of you so relaxed while watching trashy TV makes Dick falter in his anger.
"How do you know he's yours or even mine?"
You speak, your voice soft and gentle, despite the way your eyes burn with annoyance at the fact that Dick's just.... Standing there, in your space, his suit clinging to him like a second skin in the way it always has.
Dick leans forward, his breath fanning across the surface of your face and he gives you the opportunity to see the stormy rage that swirls in brilliant blue irises, darkened by the sense of betrayal at the fact that you've kept his son from him for so long.
"Because he looks like me. He looks fucking just. Like. Me." Dick grits the words out like they're liquid sulphur, burning his throat on the way out.
Before he lets out a breath, dropping onto the seat beside you and he cards a gloved hand through his hair.
"And he told me I look.... Romani. And proceeded to call me a 'gypsy bastard'."
Your apartment looks different from when he was here last.
Warm, pale blue walls, a dark leather sofa and a bigger TV mounted on the wall. Fuzzy blue throw pillows and the bowl of fruity gummies on the coffee table is a fun new addition, just like the drawings that line the walls of the living room, and clutter on top of the fridge.
On each drawing, Dick can make out the scribbled out 'Mommy And Me', usually in a colour that has no match in the palette and he can't deny the heaviness in his heart when he reads that.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Dick speaks softly, hands moving to carefully remove the mask from his face, tossing it onto the coffee table and he grabs one of the throw pillows, resting it on his face.
You can practically smell his emotions.
Confused, hurt, betrayed. Frustration's a big one though, and you purse your lips.
"I didn't wanna have the 'is it mine' conversation."
You speak so softly, so sweetly and it reminds Dick of how much motherhood's softened you. It reminds him of the way that you'd have pushed him out the window for showing up unannounced, but instead, you're letting him sit on your couch, and you talk.
Not argue.
You just... Talk.
"I'd know he was mine." Dick murmurs. "We were... Exclusive."
The way Dick says it makes you feel like it was more than just occasional hookups, more than the odd movie date that ended with your ankles touching your ears.
The silence between you is comfortable.
The soft pitter-patter of raindrops dropping against your aluminium window, pot plants on the terrace watered so gently and the TV continues to play, although at a much softer pace.
Dick lowers the pillow, looking at you with big, almost teary blue eyes. Eyes framed by long, inky lashes, full brows and striking hues that make you feel like your breath is dying in your throat with every passing second.
"He's beautiful."
Dick's voice is soft.
"A little bit of an asshole, but he's beautiful."
Before you can answer, before you can even fathom properly what Dick's saying, you hear the crack of a door and the shuffle of tiny feet as Riot stumbles into the living room, fists balled and rubbing at his eyes.
"Mommy, my eye." He sniffles, continuing to scratch at his eye before you let out a quiet hum, your hands hooking underneath the little boy's armpits before you tug him onto your lap.
And you open his eye, the sclera just a bit red and you hum softly.
"Dickie, can you put on the light, please?"
Dick doesn't question the nickname, because it makes his heart swell in a way that has him internally screeching, even as he reaches for the overhead lamp and switches it on.
And your lips purse as you blow on Riot's eye, watching the way his lashes flutter and his eyelid twitches before a teary droplet plops down his cheek.
And you wipe it away, feeling the distinct strand of cat fur against the pad of your thumb.
"We don't even own a cat." You mumble, before using your index knuckle to wipe the watery eye.
"All better?" You muse softly and Riot nods his head, before glancing at Dick with sleepy eyes, lashes fluttering even as he clambers across your lap, and into Dick's.
And his tiny arms wrap around as much of Dick's midsection as he can, his chubby and rosy cheek pressed against Dick's chest.
And the man's expression crumples.
Brows twitch and eyes begin to sting as one of his long fingered hands move to rest on Riot's back, feeling the soft fabric of his pajamas through the glove. And Riot lets out a content sigh.
"Deadbeat gypsy." The words are muffled, but they're audible enough for Dick's lips to part in shock, brows raising before letting out a bark of laughter.
Before he glances at you.
"He's just like you." Dick murmurs, before watching as Riot climbs from his lap, and heading back to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.
There's a still silence in the air, only filled by the sound of Kim's voice and rain droplets crashing down outside before Dick clears his throat.
"My— uh...— my patrol ended early." He murmurs softly.
"Do you wanna watch a movie?"
The way you're slot under Dick's bicep, your head against his chest and your legs tossed across his lap makes him feel 4 seconds away from crashing out. Because God, you're so warm and so much softer.
Dick stares unabashedly at the way your plush thighs brush against his when you shift to make yourself comfortable, he feels the way heavier breasts push against his side as you snuggle closer, before ultimately decided to pull the quilt over the both of you.
Your eyes remain glued to the TV, occasionally letting out snorts of laughter as you watch Grown Ups for what you could guess would be the 60th time on your lifetime.
But you can feel Dick's eyes.
Following the curve of your face, watching the way your lashes fan out and watching the way breaths leave your soft, glossy lips. And before Dick can even fathom it, his arm behind you is shifting, hand moving to wrap around your neck, long fingers stretching effortlessly and he brushes his thumb along your pulse, the action causing your head to tilt up and you meet his gaze.
And Dick's lips are pressed against yours, his fingers twitching against your neck before leaving the column of your throat, instead, shifting until you're resting back against the sofa.
You can't refuse. Well shit, you don't want to refuse.
Dick's kissing you like he's dying tomorrow. Lips pressed against yours, his hips nestled between your thighs and his arm moving to support his weight, elbow braced on the armrest above your head, and his other hand cradling your face.
His thumb strokes along the soft skin of your cheek, his hips pushed against yours and his tongue brushing along yours, but his movements stutter when your thighs wrap around his waist, arms around his neck and bringing him down to deepen the kiss.
Dick swears he sees heaven when your fingers card through his hair in that way.
Starting right at the nape of his neck, before dragging those manicured nails, up up up, before they disappear beneath silky raven strands and he sighs into the kiss, before pulling away.
Dilated pupils, and heavy breaths are exchanged between the two of you, and Dick swallows hard.
"Is he a heavy sleeper?" Dick whispers softly, gaze darting towards the bedroom he saw Riot disappear into and you nod your head.
"He is but you're pretty loud." You tease softly and Dick pushes his hips into yours, his bulge prominent beneath his suit and you can feel the way his tip brushes against your clit, even through the layers of fabric between you.
Dick always could find it in record time.
"Fair point." Dick whispers softly, a breathy laugh slipping past his lips, just a bit reddened from the intense kiss and he speaks again.
"But you never were loud."
Two digits bully their way into your cunt, your shorts and panties tugged to the side and Dick's lips are pressed against yours, muffling any sound you could even think of letting escape from your lips.
His tongue is buried in your mouth, thumb rubbing sloppy circles against your throbbing clit and your nails dig into Dick's biceps when he prods at a particularly sensitive spot. Your lashes flutter, and you take a shaky breath when Dick's fingers curl, his glove abandoned on the surface of the coffee table, and Dick pulls away from you, a thin, glossy string of saliva between the two of you before it ultimately breaks.
Landing across your chin and he giggles.
The man fucking giggles, as he uses his free hand to wipe away the mess, before ultimately moving your hair out of your face, staring down at you with pretty, big eyes that look at you so adoringly.
"You're so pretty." Dick murmurs softly, pressing a peck to your lips as he stares at you.
And fuck, you are.
Pretty eyes fanned by long lashes, perfect eyebrows and rosy cheeks, wet and parted lips (both pairs), and a few strands of hair clings to the thin sweat on your forehead and Dick sighs softly.
You're perfectly spread out too.
Hands gripping at him like you're scared he'll disappear, thighs spread messily and your panties and shorts tugged aside. Gummy walls thrum around his digits, pulsing at the intrusion and all he does is he continues to tease your clit, the rough pad of his thumb circling the sensitive and swollen nub as he continues to look at you with those heart eyes.
"Can I take you out tomorrow?" Dick's question is unexpected but he can't lie and say he hasn't been thinking about it since he saw you.
Plush, squishy, and so soft.
And he'd do anything to see you pregnant.
To watch you move around in oversized shirts, a belly swollen and heavy breasts that he could tease because they're just so sensitive and pretty.
And God, he can't even imagine the way your perfect, plump pussy would look, nestled between even rounder thighs, clit completely hidden until he uses his thumbs to spread the lips.
Dick swallows.
Hard.
And he doesn't even notice that his fingers begin to move, curling and prodding, nudging at that little fleshy spot that has your toes curling in your mismatched socks and your nails dig into his forearms.
And Dick remembers just what a sight you are when you come.
Brows pinching into the cutest little frown, lips forming a little 'o' and that gasp that leaves you has him leaking in his suit and he's so glad it's dark.
"That's it, princess, come on my fingers." Dick coos softly. "Use my fingers to make your pretty pussy feel good."
Your eyes roll back, you hide your face in your shoulder and your body freezes, the only movement being the rhythmic spasm of your cunt around his fingers.
His stupidly long, incessant fingers that keep dragging out your orgasm even as you nod your head, a silent answer to his prior question.
And Dick gleams, dimples in his cheeks and brilliant blue eyes lighting up in a way that can only be described as cosmic.
Blue eyes flecked with silvery stars and the gleam of the moon, dilated pupils and pretty lashes and Dick nods.
"Okay." He breathes out. "We're gonna go to the museum, okay? He's a little artist so I think he'd like looking at the paintings?"
You nod meekly, chest still heaving even when you watch as Dick licks his fingers, cleaning them up like he's just licking syrup from his fingers. His long tongue swivels around his digits before he carefully tugs up the fabric of your T-shirt, exposing your torso to the cold air.
Perfect tits, dotted with pebbled nipples and Dick swallows.
He never thought he'd be someone to have a kid out of wedlock but fuck, is he happy to be your baby daddy.
"Come on, princess." Dick hums sweetly. "Let me worship those pretty fucking tits before I leave."
Dick leans down, breath fanning across your chest before his tongue drags along one of your sensitive nipples, and he watches the way your face screws up, biting your bottom lip to stifle any sounds.
And you look at Dick from beneath your lashes, bleary eyes and rosy lips and he groans low.
A rumble in his chest that has your needy pussy pushing out a trickle of slick.
"Keep looking at me like that and I'll get you pregnant again." His lips latch onto the sensitive nub, his free hand moving to palm your other breast, thumb brushing over your nipple.
"Fuck that, I'll get you pregnant anyway."
Taglist:
@allycat4458 🪻
@lucky-beheaded 🌻
@fayethefaerie 🦋
@jasontoddswhitestreak 🌸
@moristhesecond 🍓
@anesthesia-4rizzle 🎀
@feral010 ✨
@mgarcia4130 🐚
@blckbarbiedoll 🌷
@custardpuddingprincess ⭐
#sobbingscripter#dc comics#dc smut#dc comics x reader#dc comics smut#dc comics nightwing#nightwing#nightwing x reader#nightwing smut#dick grayson x reader smut#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson#dick grayson nightwing#dc dick grayson#dick grayson x you smut
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hey can you please write about reader giving nagi a handjob while he's playing but as revenge because he's been ignoring reader for his games so reader doesn't let him cum unless he wins the round but he can't focus on the game because of the pleasure he's feeling!! hoping for a kinda subby nagi if that's alright <3
YES YES OMG ANON BBY I SEE IT AHJWJSAJ delicious plot hehe!
"i'm about to show you, baby slow down!"
ft. nagi seishiro . ooc! nagi ? . somewhat sub! nagi heh . aged up! characters . established-relationships . fem! reader . nsfw . smut . handjobs . cockwarming in the end ? . nagi's kinda a dick rn . use of mommy ig... . unreliable narrator.. :^
wc: 0.5k
cw: this might be dub-con idk tho
"my girlfriend's always harassing me whenever i'm tryna play a game.. what a hassle," nagi started off. his friends giggled on vc. "she's a nice person, you'll get used to it."
a few rounds of horror games, nagi was carrying hard. (heh hard like him :x) horror games were yea, a hassle. but, not a hassle to him. unlike his friends, nagi didn't really scream. shit, he was so lazy he didn't even wanna be fazed.
this round in particular though... "g-good god..." the man whined, spasming a little. "you good, nagi?" bachira asked. "is the horror finally getting to you?" your softer, smaller hands pumping at his cock :p
it started off slow, nagi didn't really notice at first. slow and steady wins the race right? but after a few more minutes of getting ignored, you fastened the pace.
you locked eyes with nagi. your lips curling into a smirk. "sei, what're your friends g'na think when they realize that when you're receiving a handjob with little to no lubrication at all?" you began. "your cock was leaking so much pre — it was like you wanted me to do this!" you continued to yap, face now no longer in a cocky demeanor but, in a pouty expression now.
"[n-name]," the grey eyed man moaned out. your expression, your hands... the stimulation was getting to him. "w-wait guys- oooh..." nagi tried to get out, his voice now strained. "nagi, you weren't even screaming are you good?" isagi asked. screaming? nah this guy was CREAMING.
"y-yep, i'm good," he stuttered out. "i jus' need a few minutes off real qui.." his voice trailed off as he muted himself. his hand released the mouse as his calloused fingers wrapped around your hand. nagi began thrusting into your hand.
his shaft was absolutely tearing up, just like the man. tears leaked from his eyes while there was a bit of semen leaking out of his tip LOL.
"[name], s-slow down.. [name], i-i.." he couldn't even get the words out as he scrunched his eye shut. "sei, yknow you dont deserve this at all.. all you've done was ignore me n shit this whole week..." you frowned. nagi knew he was coming close, hell he WAS going to come.
"i'm sorry mommy, i didn' mean t'- god! please, i'm sorry!" he apologized. the stimulation actually got to nagi as he came. his precious n delicious come leaked out as he let out the most gorgeous moan you've ever heard during the whole time you two were together.
your eyes kinda widened. nagi had this flushed, fucked out expression. he was panting like crazy. "[name], i'm so sorry.." he sobbed.
"what happened to emotions being a hassle, seishiro?" you teased. his sweatpants n boxers were to his knees LOL. nagi slid down your shorts n panties. "please let me feel your warm cunt, ma'am.. please use me f' your pleasure, pretty.." nagi mumbled. most genuine mumble omd...
"my bad guys, i'm back." nagi grunted after unmuting. nagi had a little bit of struggle seeing the PC screen with his gorgeous partner's warm n tight walls clenching against his shaft. let's just say, nagi wasn't the best player after LOL.
— ©isaisliterallyhim, 2025
tags! : @twijaxx ♡, @kyvkc
a/n : errr... idk man i came back from training w my corps i j wrote this and threw it .. kinda late night post so uhwhhdaj sorry for the unreadabler englush i tried ok ygs i j went thru a breakup pls give me credit for trying. nyways, nagi ohf wakkk hes so hot omg.. i need that 190 cm man in me omgmgmjddkkwjd anyhow i hope ygs enjoyed hehe
#bllk x reader#bllk x y/n#bllk x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock x y/n#blue lock x you#bllk#blue lock#blue lock smut#blue lock imagines#bllk imagines#bllk smut#nagi seishiro#nagi x reader#nagi x you#nagi x y/n#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi seishiro x you#nagi seishiro x y/n#seishiro nagi x reader#seishiro nagi#seishiro nagi x y/n#seishiro nagi x you#nagi smut#seishiro nagi smut#smut#chase atlantic was playing#i love chase atlantic#isaisliterallyhimwrites
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My Winner
Billie Eilish x female reader !
A/n: This is how we cope ladies and no gentlemen. Enjoy my loves <3
Summary: after the grammys, Billie finds a way to forget. But you find it hard. Knowing that nothings truly ok. (You'll see.)
Warnings: angst, but heavy on the comfort I promise <3 reader has anxiety so mentions of that
Tags: @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu @dollarbils @sweetcherriexs
^comment if you want to be added^
Masterlist
What an anxiety filled night. It was nearing the end. The grammys. You know, the big event that always either turns someone's life around or ruins it. You had been anxious all day, surprisingly Billie wasn't. She was so excited to just be there. Happy to be with you especially. But you knew as soon as you took your seats she was masking how anxious she was.
The red carpet was full of stars, full of heaps of people you didn't know either. There was always something about your anxiety, and ever since you had the hunch that your anxiety could always tell you if somethings up, you've been listening to that hunch heavily. Billie also knew of this, but you tried keeping extra quiet currently. If she knew you were anxious that'd set her into a complete state of worry. Knowing you seem to get this way when something is up later on. You couldn't let her get anxious about the night. You hold her hand, walking along as photographers took your photos.
You were next to Finneas and Claudia also, Finn spotting your anxiousness in seconds. You really thought you were hiding it better. He pokes your arm as an interviewer talks to Billie. "Hey whats up?" You look up at him. "What do you mean?" His brow raises. "I've known you for how many years now? Don't bullshit me what's up?" His hand rubs your arm, you grab it softly removing it. "I-" You sigh. "Ok, I'm really anxious for today, I have this odd feeling. I don't want her to see me like this though. She's enjoying herself and I'd like to keep it that way."
"Y/n." - "Please don't say anything." He's now the one to sigh. "Fine, but if she notices something is up, tell her. You know she always worries about you." You nod. "I know I know, just want her happy." He gives you a soft smile, kissing the top of your head. It was nice, he was always so brotherly towards you, you always wanted an older brother. "Like I told her, if we don't win anything it'll be ok." He pipes up. You were about to say, everything about the fact she deserves this though, she has a great right to earn this achievement. But you stay quiet, knowing he is right. You just want what's best for her. Knowing she's always so gracious.
She walks back over to you guys. "Hey, it's almost time to go, you ready?" You nod at her, giving her a smile. As she leads you out with such excitement, you look back at Finneas. He gives you a reassuring nod. Settling some nerves within you. Your mind talks as you get there, finding your seat and such. Telling yourself that this will all be ok. If it doesn't turn out good, you can be there for her. Give her encouragement, telling her she did amazing regardless- "Hello, earth to Y/n." She says standing infront of you. You snap out of your trance. "Hm?" She giggles at you. "Silly cutie." The name eases everything within you, looking into her eyes.
"I said here are our seats." She beams. You sit down, watching everyone else do so. "You excited to perform baby?" You smile sweetly at her. She smiles back. "Hell yeah. I mean a little bit nervous but this is honestly second nature to me now. I'm pumped." You could see how genuinely happy she was. It sooths everything you had previously been worried about.
But not for long, when they were up there singing your chest feels heavy, ignoring it like usual, even not in this situation you enjoy your girlfriends performance. But it doesn't go unnoticed by Claudia. "Babe, you alright?" You turn to her. Her comforting tone makes you let go for a moment. "Im still worried, I don't even know why I said in my mind whatever happens it'll be ok." She places her hand on your shoulder. "I think you're more worried about this than her." You lower your head. "I know." Sighing, but Claudia gets you to look at her. "And that's fine I hope you know, you care so much about her. It's really sweet." You felt teary. "I just want her growing more, this place can be a bit.. stingy." She laughs.
"Yep, don't we all know it." She goes to wipe one tear, but you stop her. "It's best if I get then out now so I won't- just in case of anything." The two if you share a laugh, it felt nice. Considering you usually talk to Billie about your anxiety. But that was off limits right now. You pay attention to her again, feeling calmer after your talk with Claud. Vibing to the music, less stressed. But now the roles were reversed. As the categories she was nominated for go on she seemingly is off, not as bubbly as before. But she puts up a front. "That's ok there's heaps more." You reassure her. She turns to you and smiles, wrapping an arm around you. "I'm so glad you're here." Your eyes flutter shut. "Glad I could be here baby." Her grip on you tightens a bit. And it makes you worried.
Nonetheless you push that down, you wanted to be strong for her. Be there for her. You rub her back going to sit back up as more people come to perform.
Billie was off taking some photos, you spotted her loosening up again, enjoying herself. You just thank whatever. Happy she's not as worried. You though, your anxiety was starting to come back. Little did you know it was all for a different reason. Because as soon as that last nomination comes round you didn't feel as worried, your anxiety was still present but it was for something you couldn't put your finger on. The last one was called and as they spoke, you immediately look at Billie, not hearing her name. Feeling devastated but ready to comfort. Your hand lands on her shoulder.
Noticing her eyes glaze over. You weren't expecting that to be quite honest. I mean sure upset, but it catches you off guard. You gently kiss her cheek. "You're amazing. You're my winner." And it's like she flips some sort of switch, smiling at you. But not saying a word. Odd. She claps like the rest, standing up, randomly seeming different from her state a few seconds ago. You saw it though, you knew she wasn't ok. The flip so fast, it couldn't possibly be all alright. The night ends and you all leave, getting in her car in silence. It was worrying you more. You go to speak but she does before you. "Let's go to Paris."
Your head turns towards her faster than anything. "Billie- what?" You were struck with confusion. "Let's go, get away. I know you've been talking about wanting to go for months, years even. Let's do it." You were at a loss of words. "Baby, you have tour this month, not to mention it's going to take us half a day to fly over there." She shrugs. "Yeah, but tours not until the 18th we have plenty of time." You had zero clue on what to say. "Billie-" You say concerned. She knew you were going to say something so she speaks. "Come onnn let's be spontaneous. Let's get out of here. We can go home and pack or I can just buy you whatever when we are there."
To say the least you were overwhelmed. Turning your head, looking infront of you as she drives. You tossed with the decision. Maybe it would be cool to get away. You suspected she didn't want to talk about anything tonight, so you'd leave it for a few days. "What do you say huh?" She seemed too pumped, it made your worries linger. "Yeah, sure. Let's do it." - "Yes! That's what I like to hear."
You had packed things that you'd need. But it wasn't distracting you from the events of tonight. Not like it is seeming to do with Billie. "Have you told Finn or Maggie and such yet?" She shakes her head. "Nope, it'll be fineee." That set your stomach on edge. No it wouldn't, you always kept in contact. "Better yet as soon as we get there lets put our phones on flight mode!" She goes to grab your zipped up suitcase. You let out a sigh. "Letsgooo." She says, heading for the door. "Baby." You then say, and she freezes. "Leave something?" She looks at you avoiding everything that leads to tonight. Talking, comforting. Crying.
Maybe she needed this, needed to forget, you keep to your word of doing so in a few days. "Nope, just wanted to say I love you." You smile. She comes over to kiss you. "I, love. You. Right to Paris we go!" This could potentially be fun now the moments sinked in, and you had been wanting to go for quite some time. You follow her out the door heading onto your travels.
Sitting and waiting for the flight, in a silence. Again. But it truthfully didn't last long, almost as if she didn't want to be left with her thoughts. "Ok, let's turn our phones off." You were a bit hesitant. But maybe that'll also make the trip more fun. Just with one another, enjoying the moment. You grab your phone going to do so, noticing she had posted a photo on her story of the airport. You decide to keep quiet, thinking on if this whole thing really was a good idea. You hand her your phone. "It's off." She smiles. "So is mine." You tap your your foot, moving your knee feeling that anxiety coming back. Oh. This is what your body was telling you earlier...
This.
It was 20 minutes away. You had taken a nap, had some food. Billie? None of that, they brought food around but she insisted on you having it. Making your heart tighten. Feeling so wrong still. Nor had she been asleep for all of those nearly 15 hours, staying up all day and night. It wasn't good. "Hey look at the sunshine." She points out the window. You turn your head, seeing it. Then everything floats past you. "Wow." You say amazed. You had always dreamed of coming here. It's just now set in that it's a reality. "That's, the Eiffel Tower!" You beam with excitement. "Sure is." It was beautiful. All the buildings. You smile contently.
When you land and get out, you're greeted by people with their beautiful accents. "bonjour!" Someone greets. You smile, having had practiced a tiny bit of French. "Salut!" They smile at you. "Wait you can speak French?" You nod. "Just a little. Told you this was my dream." You both smile at one another. "You're going to love our hotel room then! Looking right at the Eiffel Tower." You open your mouth. "A- wha- are you serious?" She nods, smiling more. "Oh my god!" And her plan was slowly working, not for too much longer when you figure it out though.
You arrive at the hotel, settling in. "This is breathtaking." You go out on the balcony. "Is this even real I feel like I'm in a movie." She comes out with you. "Very real my love." Then it strikes you on why she's doing this- But her mind was quicker than your own. "You see the tower there?" She points, making your mind distract as you look. "Got us a table at the restaurant there." You're shocked. "What?! How?" She smirks. "I have my ways." You laugh at her. "Say, why dont we go shopping just in time for tonight?" You nod, going to go for a pee.
She sighs a little. "Back on track." Her eyes wander off to the scenery, taking it all in.
Shopping was heaps of fun, all the pretty clothes, all the beautiful sights. But almost all of these were too expensive. "Maybe we could just-" Billie grabs the handful you were about to put back, putting it near the till. "Why don't you get those shoes you liked!" You stood there for a moment. "Billie.. Those are so much I-" "Nonsense, go go!" It took you a second to snap you out of, well honestly. None of this felt real. Then that heaviness returns to your chest. When you go to protest she had already paid for it. Shoes and all. "Baby I-" Her finger waves in your face.
The reality truly hit you. She was distracting you, she was avoiding everything. She goes to pick up the shoes heading out. You trot after her. "Can we-" "Oou let's go find a cute Cafe!" Your brows lift upwards, sewing together. Your worries were starting to fly right back. But she takes your hand as you go off to do whatever.
This was far from normal. You were getting ready, doing your makeup but you can't shake the feeling of the past 24+ hours. You felt like your mind was going to explode. You had to talk to her, you couldn't wait another day. You walk out of the bathroom, dress on and everything noticing she was dressed up to. You had nearly forgotten the topic that you wanted to discuss. "Uhm, babe?" You say, she turns around, jaw dropping. "Woah." You swallow. "Are you ready? You sure look it oh my god." You walk over to her. "Can we talk for a second?" She knew exactly what was about to come. "We don't want to be late, I made the reservation for 7." She goes to leave but you grab her arm.
"Baby-" She sighs. "I'm getting a bit peckish, are you?" She was avoiding it like the plague. You wait a moment. "Yeah, sure." She smiles, kissing your cheek. "Sweet!" And so it went on, you get to the beautiful and iconic tower, mesmerized. "Oh wow it's beautiful." She grabs your hand. "Not as beautiful as you." You stare lovingly in her eyes, such a romantic city, a forgetful one too apparently. Because just like that you were focusing on it more, finding yourself getting hungry.
The night goes on, it was peaceful. But your mind was not. There was a voice in the back telling you to just say something, but the other is battling it, saying you should enjoy this moment and the fact it doesn't happen very often. The food was delicious the view was unbelievable. Just for tonight.
It's now two days later. You cursed yourself at the fact you haven't tried talking about it. But that ends today, she needs to just let it out. You know it's hurting her deep down. The way she's handling it wasn't healthy. You were currently out getting a massage, 'her treat' which is basically been the moto this whole trip. You didn't want to waste it or seem ungrateful. But you had snatched your phone from her bag, you had to see if anyone texted. And surprise surprise they had. Maggie blowing up your calls. Finneas texting you non stop. Fuck. You regret it getting this far. You wanted to tell them but not until you talked to her first. Your finger moves to tiktok, watching all that was going down.
People saying that we've gone missing and that no ones heard from us. "Jesus." You whisper. "You alright my love?" The sweet French lady asks. How the hell did anyone even know so quick. "You're very tense." - "Yeah just- just some stuff going on right now. Sorry." She chuckles. "No need to apologize my dear. That's why you're here, to relax and be calm." You take in a deep breath, feeling her massage you further. You wish Billie was here with you, but she had been off for a run when you had woken up, seeing the little note and directions to come here. Then your eyes flutter shut and you soon fell into a peaceful slumber. One you hadn't had the night before. Due to all the tossing and turning.
Billie wasn't facing you but you knew she wasn't asleep. Fuck sake. You just can't not talk about this anymore. "Thank you, for the lovely massage." She nods gently. "Look after yourself mon amour." You give her a smile. "Merci." You reply politely. You head back, opening the hotel room to see her sitting there. "Oh you're back! How was it?" You plop your bag down. "Good but can we-" "On my run I saw this cute little wine tasting Vinyard ad, we can get a taxi and head out to it tonight! We could also stay-" You breathe slightly. "Billie-" "Or maybe that'd be too much we could stay there for the rest I know they can do-" "BILLIE!" You finally snap.
Silence.
Dead, fucking silence.
You stare at one another, and you go to speak. "Talk to me please." She averts your gaze. "I dunno what you want me to talk about." Your eyes look up, hating this weird behavior. "Billie you're frightening me. You've never done such a thing before." - "May want to elaborate." You just wanted her to let you in. "Stop shutting me out then and maybe I will!" More silence. "Please, I'm begging you lets just tal-" "I don't want to talk." She gets up but your body moves in her way. "No, you are. I'm done trying to forget, you need to let whatever this is out and this time you will not distract me." She had no. Emotion on her face. "Baby please." Your eyes were teary. "Let me help. Please." You start to sob quietly.
That's all you wanted to do, ever since that night. And there it is, her own sobs cascading down her cheeks. You nod. Proud to see it. She goes to you, hugging you, putting her head in your neck. You kiss her head over and over, trying to calm your heart down. "Its ok, I'm here. I promise." You hold her tight. "Let it in, it'll feel better afterwards." She sobs uncontrollably, having had it built up for days. "I'm so fucking sorry." You shake your head, getting her to look at you. "Don't, you didn't do anythin-" "I did, I went all fucking weird, took you here to forget, just move on. And that look on your face before fuck I'm so s-" This time you cut her off. Putting your hand over her mouth.
"Can I say something?" She nods. You go to wipe her tears. "Theres no need to apologize. If anything I'm sorry for not just doing this sooner, I thought you needed time then you'd come round. But I couldn't anymore. You were hurting and that was hurting me. I couldn't bear it any longer." She swallows. "Since I didn't get to say it then. I'll say it now. I am so fucking proud of you. You don't need some silly shiny award that honestly means nothing in the long run. You are amazing regardless." She hugs you tight. "I don't want to loose you." Your brows furrow. Confused. Then you realize why she's done all of this. She could've resulted to drinking but it was this cold outburst instead.
She was afraid she'd loose you over some silly award. You get her to look at you. "Is this why you took me here? To the place I always wanted to go buying me all this stuff?" She nods sheepishly. "Baby.." Your head shakes. "When did we meet." Now she was confused. "2015 ofcourse." You nod. "When did you first get recognized?" ... "2017 ish.." You hold her face. "I've loved you, as a friend, a partner way before any of this even happened. If that's what you're worried about, think again. Because you could loose all those trophys and I'd still be here. You matter more to me." You smile softly. "You're the only trophy I need." She says. You kiss her sweetly. "Soo, are you calling me a whore?" Her face panics making you giggle. "I'm teasing you baby." Her eyes roll.
"You're a doofus." "I'm your doofus and you're stuck with me." She smiles. "I can certainly live with that."
Everything felt clear. You two did stay in Paris for a few more days, this time with no worry in the world. Truly enjoying yourselves. That is after she texted her family back.
You sat out on the balcony, drinking your whine and her some bubbly water. The night air, cool but refreshing. "You know." She began. "There was a category I was nominated for that they didn't mention." You turn your head, utterly confused. "Having the best girlfriend." Your smile creeps on your face.
"And I fucking won."
:,) ugh cuteness.
#billie eilish#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish imagine#billie#billie eilish fandom#billie eilish oneshot#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x female reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish comfort
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MISSED YOU (FINAL)
daniela avanzini x fem!reader
summary: dealing with the repercussions of your actions, you try your absolute best to fix everything.
warnings/tags: hurt/comfort(?), happy ending (yay!), dealer!dani au, language
wc: 3,5 k
part 1 | part 2
you woke up to knocking on the door. lifting your head from the bed, you immediately felt your head pounding with a headache, making you groan quietly as you got up and left the bedroom. walking to the front door, you peer through the peephole and let out a sigh of relief to see manon.
you unlock and open the door, being met with the taller woman who was holding a convenience store bag in her hand.
“did you sleep?” manon questions, taking notice of the dark bags under your eyes mixed with the tear stain marks on your cheeks.
“a little.” you shrug, opening the door wider and walking further inside.
“better than nothing,” manon replies, walking in and shutting the door behind her. she follows you to the living room, setting the bag down on the coffee table as you sit on the couch and curl up into a ball in the corner. “here,” she rummages through the bag before pulling out two cans. “i didn't know if you'd want the redbull or the coffee, so.” she holds both of them in front of you.
“thanks,” you mumble, taking the energy drink from her hand and opening it.
a silence fills the apartment again, one that lasts a while before you finally manage to speak up.
“i don't know how to fix this,” you say quietly, making manon look over at you. “i doubt she wants to see me right now, or ever again.” you look down at the drink in your hand, finger spinning around the rim of the can. “i should’ve listened to her, then none of this would've happened.”
“it's okay,” manon says. “i mean, it's not, obviously, but it’ll be fine. you can't say that she probably doesn't want to see you, because we both know that she always wants to see you. whenever you're not around you are literally the only thing she talks about, and with what you told me about your last conversation, she probably thinks sophia forced you to do it – which she did, so i don't think she's mad at you exactly. if she is, i’d be surprised.” she pauses for a moment. “you have to just do it. get her out, and then you can talk it out. you can figure the rest out as you go.”
“yeah,” you murmur, still looking at the can in your hands.
“yn,” manon grabs one of your hands making you finally look at her. “i’ve known dani for years, she isn't going to be mad at you. when i say you are the only person she talks about, i mean literally you are the only person she cares about. i’ve seen her go through girls so fast that when she started talking about you i felt bad. i thought ‘well, there's another poor girl to add to her list’. but she said you were different. so i tried to believe her. now, i���m going to be honest with you here, okay? because i love and care about both of you very much, and i want you two to fix this, okay?” she stops, waiting for you to nod before continuing. “dani has said multiple times to multiple girls that they're different. so when she said it about you my first reaction was how you were going to get hurt. but things started changing, dani started changing. and that has never happened. you know dani is a pretty independent person, and what she does has her that way because of shit that's happened in the past, but to see her changing – changing for the better? i knew she was right about you.”
“not one other girl has even been able to remotely change one thing about dani,” manon continues. “she always kept them at a distance, she never let them get too close. and the day she told me she took you with her to one of the deals? something that she never let anyone do? i knew she seriously loved you. when she said that you insisted on going with her, she told me that she hesitated. but not for the same reason it usually was. she wanted to protect you. she always wants to protect you, yn. but she lets you come with. she trusts you with the money. she trusts you with certain clients. she trusts you. she loves you. no one else. i don't know why she did what she did, but i know she regrets it. you are the best thing that's ever happened to her, and i don't want this to fuck it up for you two. i can't tell you what to do, but i will support whatever decision you make, okay?”
listening to everything manon said, you slowly nod your head while taking in all of it. tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and you could feel them threatening to spill, with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth to keep it from trembling. “i ju-st want to fix this,” your voice cracks as you speak. “i love her so much.”
“i know you do,” manon is quick to reply, scooting closer to you and wrapping her arms around your shaking frame. “and i know she loves you just as much. you just have to tell her. you have to talk this out, and you have to tell her about what happened last night.”
you physically tense up at her last words, the memories of the night before flooding your mind as you put your hands into fists to keep them from shaking so much. “i can't– she’ll really hate me then,” you reply, shaking your head.
“you have to, yn,” manon tells you. “i know you don't want to, but you have to.”
a few tears fall from your eyes, but you slowly nod your head, knowing it was the truth. it could make matters worse or it could improve them, but you had no idea how to even go about it. “can you– can you come with me to the sheriff's station? i already have the bail money in a bag, i-i just don't want to go alone right now,” you speak quietly, more tears trailing down your cheeks.
“of course,” manon replies with a nod. “has sophia tried reaching you?”
“there was texts and calls for the first couple of hours, but i think she gave up,” you answer with a shrug. “i read a few of them…” your voice goes quiet again.
“bad?” manon questions, judging by the tone in your voice when you said it.
“yeah.” you nod.
“ignore them,” manon tells you sternly. “you don't need to be seeing her lash out on you because of something terrible she did. you didn't do anything wrong, okay? you don't deserve any of what's happened to you in these months, and it's not your fault for going to the person you thought would keep you safe. but this means you have to fix things with dani. if all else fails, then you can stay with me for some time, okay? you’ll always have a place to stay with me.” she rubs your back reassuringly.
“okay,” you mumble, nodding again. “thank you again, i owe you for this.”
“no you don't.” manon shakes her head. “you're one of my best friends, i’d do anything to make sure you're okay.” she then pulls away from you, grabbing the can from you and setting it on the coffee table. “when does the sheriff's station open?”
“nine, i think,” you answer.
“we’ll go right when it opens, then,” she says. “get it done as fast as possible so that she doesn't have to stay in there too long. then you can talk things out. i’m sure you'll already be on her good side just by bailing her out after what you said when she was arrested, so you have a good starting point. get her something to eat, get some drinks, and talk it out here in the home you two have made. it’ll all be okay. i promise.”
“okay.”
…
one week later you were standing outside the jail, biting your nails with your foot tapping on the ground anxiously. thankfully, you had enough to cover the bail and have a little leftover, which was a relief knowing it didn’t take everything in the safe. you had yet to even speak to daniela, despite manon telling you to at least try and see if she would talk to you. you didn’t want to hear yelling over the phone, you’d rather hear it in person where you could explain everything easier than if you were arguing over the phone line that would cut after five minutes. manon told you over and over again that she wouldn’t be mad at you, but the nervous feeling was still rooted deep inside you as you heard the loud buzzing and the gate slowly opening.
looking up from the ground, you spot daniela walking with her bag of things. her eyes subtly widen a bit from what you can see, since they didn’t exactly tell her who bailed her out, just that she was able to leave.
she slowly steps over to you, stopping in front of you and looking at you without saying anything.
“hey,” you say quietly. “i’m really sor–”
you’re cut off from your apology by daniela kissing you. your eyes go wide for a second, but when her arms wrap around your waist you find yourself melting into the kiss, practically feeling all the emotions she was pouring out into it.
when she pulls away, you’re both a little breathless, quiet panting coming from you two.
“do you wanna get something to eat and head home?” you ask softly. “i’d rather talk at home.”
“yeah, we’ll talk at home,” daniela responds in the same voice.
“okay.” you nod.
…
by the time you two arrived at the apartment, it was already leading into the evening, the sunset coming down just as you opened the door and walked inside with bags of food and drinks in your hands.
walking behind you into the apartment, the first thing dani notices is how clean it is. she figured it’d be destroyed when they came to get her, only feeling worse when she realized it had to have been you that cleaned up the place. she follows you silently, setting the food down on the dining room table and going to sit on the couch next to you.
there’s a silence that fills the room. one that was far from comfortable. both of you sitting there not knowing what to say first, or to say anything at all. until you speak.
“i’m really sorry,” your voice is barely able to be heard as you fiddle with your hands. “i-i didn’t think– i didn’t mean for it to go down that way, i-”
“don’t apologize,” daniela cuts you off, shaking her head. “there’s no reason for you to be apologizing. i deserved it.” she goes quiet for a moment before continuing. “i’m really, really sorry. i shouldn’t have done what i did, and i know i fucked up. i’m not sure why i did it, but i regret it so much. i don’t know why you bailed me out, i thought the last time was really going to be the last time. but…i’m glad you did. i just want to talk it out.”
“i know, and that’s why i bailed you out,” you start. “listen, dani. i went to sophia to figure out what to do, and…it wasn’t a smart idea. i know you two already don’t like each other, but this could really make things worse for everyone. i– she convinced me to call the police even though i didn’t want to. i felt so bad once i saw how upset you were. i knew you knew you fucked up and was trying to do anything to make me stay a-and i ignored it. i-i thought it would make things easier but it made everything so m-much worse. everything just t-turned into a shit show a-and i didn’t know what to d-do.” you began stuttering over your words as a few tears fell from your eyes.
“hey, hey, it’s okay.” daniela is quick to wrap her arms around you and pull your head against her chest. “it’s okay, okay? i’m not mad at you for what you did. i deserved it. so please don’t beat yourself up over what you did, baby. i’m not upset at you.” she presses a gentle kiss on your head.
“there-there’s something else i h-have to tell you,” you manage to get out, your anxiety growing and your breathing getting heavier. “please don’t get mad when i tell you th-this.”
“nothing will make me mad, i promise,” dani responds. “what happened?”
clutching onto her shirt, your face is still pressing against her chest as you try to find the words to explain it. “i-i went to sophia’s after. y-you know she’s always had feelings f-for me, so i-i…i fucked up, dani.” you start fully sobbing into her chest at this point, which has her arms tightening around you both from you crying and what she was thinking you were going to say next. “i-i let her have her w-way with m-me b-b-but i hated it. it was t-terrible. sh-she didn’t care that i w-was uncomfortable, she di-didn’t stop even when i w-was crying. all i c-could think about was how y-you would never do that. i-it didn’t feel the same. sh-she didn’t care, she continued a-and i felt so bad after th-that i left immediately. i’m so sorry.”
once you finished your words through sobs, daniela pulled you closer to her onto her lap, her arms tight around you as you cried. there were hundreds of thoughts running through her head, but they were far from being mad at you. she wasn’t mad at you. she was livid at sophia. “it’s okay,” she tells you over and over. “i’m not mad at you, i swear. i’m not mad.” hearing your cries continue made daniela wonder just how much sophia put you through when she wasn’t around, and thinking it made her jaw clench, anger bubbling inside of her. “baby, look at me,” she says softly.
you slowly lift your head to look down at her, your eyes red and puffy with a few sniffles coming from you now and then.
“i’m not upset, okay?” she says, running her hand through your hair. “i understand, i do. which is why i’m not angry at you. i’m angry at sophia, okay? she should’ve known better than to try and do that, let alone continue when you were crying. you haven’t seen her since, have you?”
you immediately shake your head quickly. “no, no, i haven’t. she tried texting and calling but i just ignored them.”
“good.” daniela nods. “that means it’ll be a fun surprise for her when i show up at her front door.”
the way she says that has your eyebrows furrowed together. “what do you mean?”
“don’t worry about it, mi amor,” she says, pecking your lips. “let’s just say she won’t be a problem anymore.”
“as long as you don’t get arrested again, you can do what you want,” you tell her, hooking your arms around her neck.
“i won’t, i promise.” she smiles at you. “are we okay?” she asks after a moment.
it takes a minute for you to respond, but you nod your head in the end. “yeah, we’re okay.”
“i love you,” daniela says, looking you in the eye.
“i love you too,” you reply, leaning in and kissing her.
…
it was late into the night when daniela got up. but not for the same reason it had been the past few months. was she going to see someone? technically. was it sophia? yes. was she going to beat the living shit out of her? probably.
the latina carefully got out of the bed, unwrapping your arms around her and looking at the time on the digital clock. late enough. you shift around feeling her presence leave the bed, and you open your eyes to see her putting on a hoodie and her shoes.
“where are you going?” you mumble tiredly.
dani turns when she hears your voice, leaning down and pushing some of your hair out of your face. “i’m heading to sophia’s with manon and minji. don’t worry, i’ll text you once i’m there and when i’m on my way back.” she presses a soft kiss on your forehead. “i’ll bring you back something to eat if you’re awake when i’m leaving.”
you nod your head, murmuring out a quiet “okay”. this is what you missed. if you were too tired to go out to deals with her, she would always say this. that she’d text you when she was there, and that she would text you when she was leaving that everything was okay, even then she would send more messages than necessary. but, you didn’t mind it. she knew you often got worried when it came to certain clients, and she always reassured you when she would go alone. it hadn’t been like this in months. for the past few months you’ve woken up to her already gone, not bothering to tell you where she was going. for the first time through this hell that’s been these last few months, it was starting to feel normal again.
“be safe, please,” you say quietly.
“always,” she replies, kissing your head again.
walking out of the apartment, manon and minji were already waiting outside in front of minji’s car. the two turn when they hear footsteps coming towards them to see daniela walking towards them.
“is it bad to say i’m surprised you showed?” daniela says, stopping in front of the car.
“not really,” manon shakes her head.
“thanks, anyways then,” daniela looks between the two. “are you both sure you want to do this?”
“obviously,” manon says.
“i’ve never liked her anyways,” minji adds, crossing her arms over her chest.
“alright,” daniela nods. “let’s go then.”
…
it was three in the morning when you heard the front door open. you were partially awake after daniela told you where she was going, glancing at your phone occasionally when it would light up. it had been thirty minutes since dani told you she was on her way back. just when you were getting worried you heard the creaking of the front door opening, and the jingling of keys. you sit up on the bed a little bit when daniela walks into the bedroom with a bag of food and drinks in her hands.
“hey.” she smiles at you. “i got you some food and a milkshake from sonic. i’m sure you’re tired of it by now but it’s like, the only place open at this hour.”
“i don’t mind.” you shake your head. “thank you.”
“it’s no problem,” she says, sitting down next to you on the bed. “here.” she hands you one of the drinks and takes the food out.
sitting in silence while eating, you had a warm feeling radiating through your body. the type you hadn’t felt in months while everything was going on. the silence wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t tense. it was comfortable. it was normal, like it used to be.
“i really missed this,” you say randomly in a quiet voice. “i missed you.”
daniela looks over at you when you speak, seeing the small smile on your face that subconsciously makes a smile grow on her own face. “i missed this– i missed you, too,” she replies in the same voice.
when you look over at her, you can barely make out her face with the lamp on your nightstand, but staring into her eyes, you know she’s genuine about it. “promise me we won’t do this again,” you tell her.
“i promise,” she replies in a heartbeat. “you know why?”
“why?” you encourage her, curious as to what she’ll say.
“because i’m gonna marry you one day.”
your breath hitches in your throat at her words. in the two years you’ve been together, she’s never mentioned anything of the sorts revolving marriage or that kind of commitment. and after what manon told you, you weren’t sure she would ever even consider the thought. to say you were surprised would be an understatement.
“really?” your voice comes out in a whisper, as if you were doubting her words.
“really.” daniela nods. “i don’t want to be with anyone except you. i don’t want you to be with anyone except me. i know i fucked up right now, but i swear in the future i’ll give you the newlywed life you want. i swear.”
tears build in your eyes without your knowledge, so focused on her words that you didn’t even notice a few falling until dani’s hand reaches towards you and wipes them away with her thumb, her hand cupping your face. “you can’t go back on me now, y’know,” you say in a hushed voice. “you better stay.”
“i will,” she responds. “i will, i promise. i don’t want anyone else. i just want you.”
“then you’ll show me?” you say, your voice changing into a tone daniela was far too familiar with.
“oh, i’ll show you.” she leans in and kisses you.
#katseye x reader#katseye imagines#katseye scenarios#daniela avanzini x reader#daniela x reader#daniela imagine#daniela scenarios
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Sorry prev, but I couldn't let these tags stay in the notes.
And before I get into agreeing with prev, I also always use readmores- but prev still has a point.
This is directed more to people in the notes than to OP (who almost definitely didn't expect their post to turn into this and actually seems pretty chill), but threatening to block people because they don't make themselves smaller for you is kinda cringe actually.
For 30K fics, yeah I get it- they should probably be under readmores or linked to AO3. But just 1k or 2k like prev said? I've seen thinkpieces on here longer than that with no readmore get regularly reblogged and no one blinks an eye. Reblog-chains and comics longer than that which keep circling with no complaint. People only seem to care when it's fic. Everyone loves to call tumblr the fandom website until they have to scroll past a fic they didn't feel like reading, or belonging to a fandom space they weren't a part of.
You all came to the fandom blogging website and got mad that there were *checks notes* fandom blog posts. And then you threaten to block the writers for not making themselves smaller than they already do, as if you were ever going to read their fic or interact with them or their posts anyway regardless.
Weird behavior, honestly.
It just gives such icky/gaslightly, "Well I might have read your fics and became your biggest fan- but you didn't put a readmore so now I'm blocking and you've lost a potential reader forever! Ouch- sorry! Buh-Bye! xoxo"
Do you all not see how gross that is? How entitled that sounds?
I'm not saying never block accounts you don't want to see- by all means block away! Curate your own experience and all that. But when you feel the need to announce it, acting like your block is some righteous punishment, or something other bloggers should be scared of and should actively avoid, just for not blogging the way you personally want them to- it gets so gross.
Especially considering that you can go into your own blog settings and hit the toggle for "Shorten long posts" yourself, and have every long post be automatically shortened and given it's own "Expand" button, therefore letting you scroll right by all the fic you want to skip.
Yes, it even works in the tags, I just checked.
if you're posting a whole fanfiction to tumblr you've got to put it under a readmore boss
#I never get involved with discourse#but reading the notes on this post was maddening#this is the fandom site#yet it's like people want to actively push a large part of fandom out#and at the same time wonder why there's not more fic#prev is right social media ruined you all
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mountebank chem pt. four (JYH x reader).
part of the love's an uncharted path universe ���.
SUMMARY:
* 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤: 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐲. The first time you met Yunho, you knew he was going to be part of the biggest tragedy of your life: the loss of your freedom, of your free will. You didn't know why back then but what you did figure out is that you and Jeong Yunho were going to, eventually and very publicly, date each other at some point. Is that reason enough to hate his guts? Well, of course! Now, when the time comes to fulfill the prophecy, how the hell are you going to pull it off? And, most importantly, what do you need to do to not fall in love with him in the process?
PAIRING: rich!yunho x afab!rich!reader.
GENRE: enemies to friends to lovers.
WORD COUNT: 24.1k.
WARNINGS & TAGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, dual pov (both yunho's and reader's), use of fem pronouns sometimes, angsty angst that angsts in the form a verbal fight, tears, unresolved feelings and denial, tension, a heartfelt conversations with bro and lots of yearning!, a time jump (three months or so), mingi and love being unhelpful but helpful at the same time, yeosang being a cutie pie and a little bit of his story gets mentioned!, the L word, confessions, apologies, mentions of body dysmorphia and body related insecurities, soft!dom yunho (he's a little bossy), switch!reader (oc hates to let him win i guess), reader has breasts and a vagina, mirror play, teasing, light choking, messy kisses and makeouts, masturbation (f), just the tiniest bit of voyeurism, praise kink if you squint oh my god, fingering, multiple orgasms, love making (who else cried), the post-sex convo and more feelings and dreams are discussed.
NOTES: hi everyone! WE MADE IT!!!!! here's part four of this mini series that is PART OF THE LOVE'S AN UNCHARTED PATH. after this, there's an epilogue/little part five to let everyone know sort of what happens after this + to set up the next story in the universe. i also just want to adress that one of you kindly suggested to change up some of the terminology i use in the warnings and for some other things in the fic itself and i thank that person a lot! but i also want to encourage you, if you feel something's missing or if i can do anything to be more inclusive in my stories, to let me know! i hope you all enjoy it part four of mbc, we've come a looong way and i'm happy on how this turned out. this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send to my askbox/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3
POSTED: february 2nd 2025.
taglist: @kyunlov, @tinyelfperson, @0115degrees, @daniela-f-uwu, @ultrapinkvoidbouquet, @kyeomooniee, @fairylover68, @sushiinmidnight, @qveenbunni, @calmoistorm, @potatomountain, @svintsandghosts, @lemonkait00, @blue5ummer, @fancypeacepersona, @hyukssunflower, @i-love-ateez, @alsomimi, @e3ellie, @st3ft0n3s, @hotteokkay, @xylatox
masterlist - part one - part two. part three.
You dream about him. Every night.
His mouth on yours and his hands handling you with care fill the gray matter of your brain and rots it. It fits you.
A rotten brain for a rotten person.
The scenario repeats in a loop in your head even when you're awake, alone in your house office, accompanied by staff at the main office building. It doesn't really matter what you're doing, who you're with or if the task at hand requires your full attention, Yunho still invades your mind and makes you feel like you're leaping, flying through skies and then falling, falling, falling, before hitting the ground hard.
Because at the end of the memory, it plays what you did.
The way you pulled away, the way you left him there without a proper explanation.
You didn't have dinner with your brother, it was over nine o'clock at night. You needed an escape goat, a plan, an excuse to flee from the happiness you grasped with your sticky, messy, disgusting fingers.
Everything you touch seems to turn to shit.
So you can't touch Jeong Yunho even if you want to.
You shan't, you won’t, even when he’s so close to you it takes a lot for you to hold back. He’s a message away, a meeting away from you. And his messages on your phone kept piling up this week until they didn’t.
And now, as you watch him enter the meeting in a suit and tie, you do your best to pretend nothing happened between you even though it's supposed to. To everyone else's eyes, you’re still a couple.
You’re grateful for that. You don’t sit together, you can’t sit together. Of course you can't, that would be very unprofessional. You can't voice your opinion about any decisions made by his team (or rather, his brother's team) today because that would look like you're doing it to either spite him or to be on your boyfriend's side, it would look like corruption!
God bless the stupid societal and corporate norms. You won't even have to speak to him today, if you're lucky. You know he's shadowing his brother today, learning his way through these meetings you've been attending for years or at least pretending to do so.
There's absolutely no reason to speak to him today.
Yay.
Soohyun sits at your left, at the head of the table, and Yunho sits with his brother at Soohyun’s left. Neither your father or his are here today so everyone’s shoulders are a little less tense and the meeting is a quarterly one, which means people are going to be explaining graphics and reading numbers you have to stay focused on.
There's things you have to write down, there's statements you have to whisper in your brother's ear so he can say them out loud instead of you.
But Yunho looks way too good in his suit and tie and it's a little distracting.
And he's looking right at you, too.
You can hear your co-workers immediately gossiping about it, you can see your brother turn to you, then to him, then to you and you can faintly see how he raises a brow. Faintly, because you're pretending to read over some papers in front of you by the time he bumps your leg to try and catch your attention.
You step on his foot under the table, he mutters an offended ouch and pinches your arm in retaliation, which causes you to stop pretending to eye the documents and turn to him.
“Stop it.”
“You started it,” he says and then Soohyun gives you that look that lets you know he knows something you don't, although it can possibly be like that because he's a clueless little shit. “Did something happen between yo—”
Well, maybe not as clueless. Good thing you wore great heels today, the face he makes as he's trying to pretend that the sharp end of your Louis Vuitton is not stabbing him in the leg feels like a victory.
“Keep quiet, the meeting is starting.”
Oh, how you love winning.
The thing is, you can't even enjoy it now. Yunho’s face pops up on your mind again and it serves as a reminder of just how close he is.
As someone from the sales team starts their presentation, your eyes drift to Yunho in a way that feels oddly familiar.
There, trying to stay upright even though you know he's zoning everything out, there's this memory from your junior year in highschool that never tortured you the way it does now.
Although he's always been very tall, Yunho used to sit near the window, in the second row of the classroom you both shared that year. Not his decision, certainly whoever made that decision was not the sharpest tool on the shed because all he did was look out of the window and close his eyes when the teachers were not paying enough attention to him.
And you used to stare at him just like you're doing now. Through the corner of your eye, with your back straightened and ninety percent of your attention on the topic at hand. He held the other ten percent, tenderly, softly, without realizing what he was doing.
Just like he held you that night.
At the time, you wondered what went on in his head every time he drifted away from the class. New ways of making your life impossible? A new insult to your integrity, maybe? Highschool Yunho was everyone's dream but, for you, he meant nothing but nightmares and headaches.
Nothing has changed much.
But instead of wondering if he's thinking about new ways of pestering you with his presence, now your heart races at the possibility of him thinking about the kisses you two shared last week.
You hope no one notices the sudden shift on the chair or the gulp you make to keep your emotions buried deep down inside of you, where no one can reach them.
Trying to regain focus and ignore Yunho completely, you look at the projected graphics in front of you. The person doing the presentation turns to the next slide as soon as you're beginning to understand what the hell they're talking about. Surprisingly, your brother turns to whisper at you about it.
“The new company sales are lower than expected.”
When you turn fully to him, you can see he's biting his cheek in concerned concentration. You want to roll your eyes.
“I told dad no one would care about this company and you were the one who approved for us to go forward with it.”
“I know.”
“Dumbass,” you whisper, scrunching your nose and turning to the presentation again but your brother nudges you slightly and you have to look at him again.
Only for your eyes to completely bypass him and land in Yunho.
God fucking damnit.
Is this what having a crush is like? Is tortuous and you hate this even more than when you couldn't stand seeing his face out of pure annoyance.
This is why you probably never had a crush on anyone before. But it's strange, because it doesn't feel like something new. Yes, Yunho attending meetings is new but the feeling is familiar and grossly nostalgic of something you feel like you left behind.
And now has come back in full force.
You never had a crush on Yunho, at least not that you know of.
But this feeling is telling you otherwise and it's maddening and disgusting and—
“Something definitely happened, hm?”
Eyes flicking over your brother's sudden concerned expression, you push back on the seat and sink in it a little. This way, when you look up to him, Yunho is nowhere in sight. When you speak again, you make sure only Soohyun hears you.
“We can save it, don't worry about it. I'll write up a proposal of how we can market the concept of the company in a way that it at least piques people's interest.”
Your brother huffs, unsatisfied with your deflection and the way you visibly close up at the mere thought of telling him if something did happen between you and Yunho.
But he says nothing. It stings that you know he's going to leave it at that, the support you're supposed to have slipping through your fingers as you do your best to keep your feelings to yourself. It's not his fault, not really.
He doesn't know any better.
You don't know any better, either.
But your focus on the meeting comes back and you end it with thirteen pages of virtual notes and a list of things you need to do today to keep this shitshow of a company afloat.
There's a split second when you get out of the room that you feel Yunho’s eyes on you. You're afraid he's going to take the opportunity to talk to you, so you look up and around trying to find something, someone you can use as a distraction, as a shield.
But then there's like four pairs of hands dragging him away and you see that annoyed glint in his eye, usually reserved for you, as they turn him around and away from you.
Yes, of course they wouldn't let him speak to you right now. He's shadowing his brother, he has important things to do!
Yay.
You ignore the beating of your heart as you move quickly through the halls. Soohyun and Gunho are already aiming for the elevator so you opt for the stairs, knowing you won't have to speak to anyone at all if you get to your office like this.
Well, Soohyun's office. You have yours on a lower floor, not as unnecessary space-taking as his, but you usually work there because you enjoy the view.
So when you finally close the door behind you and the view is blocked by thirty piled up boxes you start thinking that the universe is upset with you. Is this your karma? Everything and everyone against you just because you walked out of a kiss before making a mistake?
Is not like Yunho cares that much about you anyway!
Huffing, you look around the room until your eyes land on that stupid tree you started painting when Soohyun told you he wanted to redecorate his office. Its branches extend just a little more than what you remember and there’s a part of it that was unfinished the last time you saw it. You can only assume either Seonghwa or your brother had something to do with it.
Which sucks.
Because you’re so painting over the stupid tree one day.
You stare at it while your mind wanders. Head slowly filling up with noise, you finally feel at ease when your thoughts are nothing but work: You need to write up a proposal to that stupid vintage-esque focused company to see if there’s some salvation for it. You need to speak with marketing, get one of them to go along the process with you. You need to sit down with your brother and kindly tell him to never allow something like this to ever happen again.
Making a mental list to organize and prioritize everything you need to do, you barely register footsteps echoing in the long hall. You should’ve, because it’s lunchtime and there’s no one on the floor, but you don’t.
And so when the person you least want to see comes through the door and lets out a heavy sigh, you turn to him like he grew a second nose over the course of the twenty minutes you last saw each other.
“I hate it here, I truly do.”
It almost makes you want to laugh, but you remain stoic as you move through the office. You take a few boxes and you put them down on the floor until there’s some light leaking through the window and illuminating the space enough for it not to give you a headache as you work.
Sitting on your brother's chair, barely sparing him another glance before turning on the desk computer and pulling up an empty document. You click and tap a few meaningless things: You pick the font, you mess with the font size for a second before setting it back to its default. Anything to help you look busy and not like your heart is going a million miles per second.
“Can I help you with anything, Yunho?”
Blurry, in the background, you can see him look around the office, probably taking the mess in. He moves too, walks until his expensive shoes are tip to tip with a literal mannequin resting against the wall.
You stop paying attention as you write the date and the proposal title. Something simple, something that both your father and the CEO of the dumb not-approved-by-you company that has you in this predicament can understand. You hate to say that you assume they’re not very smart if they put out such a dated and non profitable idea for their company.
Still, you try to address Yunho like nothing’s bothering you and like you’re not nervous you two are in a room alone after everything that went down.
“You can ask Seonghwa what that means,” you start, sighing like his friend and your brother are hopeless. Because maybe that’s what they are. “They’re not running any ideas by me even though I’m the one that spends the most time in this office, so.”
“Hm,” he starts and you can hear him walking around, but your focus is now on the first few words of the proposal. You realize there’s really nothing you can start before speaking with marketing and so you open the notes app, to have a list of ideas to run through them at least. “Thought you worked from home.”
“I do. I have an office three floors down, too.” It’s easy sharing information with him now, especially if it means there’s something to talk about that’s not… Well, the kiss. “I hate it, it’s in a corner and people can see into it. It’s easier to work here.”
“And Soohyun hyung doesn’t mind?”
“Considering he’s never here, I doubt it.”
“Cool, cool.”
There’s something in his tone that makes you want to look up, lump in your throat growing in size enough for you to cough it away. You don’t look up, you can’t look up even if you’ve misspelled the word rebrand like four times already.
But then the light you managed to cast onto the space disappears completely. You feel something besides you, the soft material of an expensive suit blazer grazing your arm and cheek. You see veiny, masculine hands secure themselves around the arms of the chair before he’s turning you to face him.
You gulp.
He’s leaning down close, closer than he should be, closer than what he’s allowed to be considering anyone can walk in on you. You’re flushing, you can feel the redness creep up your neck and heating your ears and face before you gather the courage of raising a questioning brow. Yunho stays silent, his eyes scanning your face and briefly landing on your lips before returning your stare.
“Can I help you with anything, Yunho?” You ask him again, quieter this time, voice trembling a little.
“Princess,” he starts, the corner of his lip raising just a little, like it’s funny he has to say what he’s about to say, “are you ghosting me?”
Shit.
“Why would you— Why would I—,” a nervous chuckle abandons you and then you huff, trying to seem offended at his accusation, “W-what do you mean by that?”
Leaning into your space a tiny bit more, he repeats “Are you ghosting me?”
Creasing your brow, you straighten in the chair but do nothing to pull him away “No.”
“Then what about the ten messages I sent you and you left on delivered?”
Faking a surprised gasp, you move to take your phone out of the pocket of your jacket and unlock it to swipe through your messages “You did? Oh, my God, I’ve been soooo busy.”
“You’re shit at lying to me.”
“I’m not lying to you—”
“Are you okay?”
Your eyes snap from the phone to his face, genuine annoyance creasing your eyebrows this time.
“You don’t have to ask me that everytime you see me, Jeong.”
“But are you?” He asks as you finally find his chat and open the messages you dreaded to see the entire time that passed. There’s a few of them practically begging you to speak to him, one apologizing for the kiss and the other ones you don’t even see because Yunho is taking the phone from your hand and placing it on the desk next to you. “I mean, what happened didn’t trigger anyth—”
You hate he’s this considerate with you, even after you clearly walked out of the situation with a poorly formulated excuse.
“What happened was a mistake.”
Yunho physically deflates and lets the chair go, the tension on your shoulders lifting a little now that he’s not as close.
“What?”
“It was a mistake, we shouldn’t have done that. We’re professionally obligated to work together, fake all of this together, so it shouldn’t…” You pause and consider for a bit before doing something you never do: take the blame “I shouldn’t have. I apologize.”
Letting out a breath, you turn the chair and delete the misspelled rebrand to write it the correct way, heart too weak to even look at his reaction. It doesn’t matter anyway, you’re never doing anything like it again.
You hear him shuffle with the boxes at both your feet and, from the corner of your eye, you see him turning away from you and then back, hands on his hips “I don't think it was a mistake.”
“Well, it was.”
“I liked it.”
That brings out a genuine, short lived laugh out of you “Thank you, I’m a great kisser.”
You open your brother’s email and pretend there’s an urgent matter inside the contents of one of them until Yunho’s hand closes over yours, over the mouse.
“Y/N.”
There’s a lot of things about Jeong Yunho you hate: The swoop of his hair when there’s no gel on it, the free aspect to his nature you’re never going to get even if you try to, that one time he called you an ugly giant after wearing platforms for the first time ever.
And the sweetness of his voice when he says your name, the plea you hear on it and the shudder it brings to your spirit. It shakes you, it moves you to look at him again, to actually take his feelings into consideration.
He’s staring at you with so much hurt, it makes your heart sink into an abyss of guilt.
“Hm?”
“I think I like you.”
Oh.
Oh, no.
Your heart drowns deeper, your resentment towards the situation grows branches like the tree on the wall. They hug your pride and your ego, they poke you on your side for reciprocating Yunho’s feelings just a little.
Well, a lot.
“You think?” You ask him and your voice sounds far away. He nods. You stand up from the chair, hand squeezing his before letting drop. “Stop thinking then.”
His eyes closing shut and his jaw tensing is the last thing you see before you busy yourself with the boxes against the window. You pick up two at a time, heavy and the cardboard smelly as you walk to the other side of the office, away from him.
“I’m being serious, Y/N.”
You sigh “So am I, Yunho. You don’t like me, you liked that I kissed you.”
“Oh, I forgot you know exactly what goes through my mind and my heart, thank you for the remainder!”
Looking at him over your shoulder, you drop the boxes against the corner wall “Lower. Your. Voice.”
“No, no. Because that’s not an appropriate response to what I just told you!” He walks towards you and you meet him halfway, heart beating with annoyance at the way he’s speaking to you. He towers over you again, jaw clenched and voice a mere murmur when he speaks again “You have no say in what I feel, how I feel it, when I feel it.”
“I know I don’t, you idiot. I was just providing you with a bit of perspective.”
“Perspective?”
“What do you like about me?” Chin up and nose scrunched in a way it only does when you’re really angry, you insist “Why now? Why do you suddenly care? Is it out of pity? Is it because it’s convenient, because we’re already pretending? Is it because you want to fuck me?!”
“Watch it, Y/N.” His tone is laced with clear offense at what you offered just a second ago.
“You don’t like me,” you start, shaking your head, “you can’t like me.”
“Why not?!”
He’s breathing hard, walking backwards, offering up his palms to the sky and looking around the room like any of that is going to give him an answer to his questions.
“Why not?” He repeats and there’s that hurt in his voice that, for some reason, makes your eyes water. Are you having a panic attack? A heart attack? Everything hurts. Liking Yunho hurts, wanting him hurts. He comes back, his eyes searching yours even though you can’t do anything but cast them down, to your shoes and his shoes and the boxes and the carpet “Why can’t I like you, princess? What’s not to like? What kind of self-deprecating ideas do
you have in your head that makes you think I can’t care about you like that?”
Shaking your head again and closing your eyes, you are barely able to stifle a sob and force your tears back. You want to tell him that that’s not the reason but you would be lying to him if you did.
That’s part of the reason.
Behind the whole letting your mother’s win argument, there’s an undeniable amount of self hatred that can’t let you feel like there’s any truth behind his words.
Why would he like you? Why would he care about you?
Your hands are dirty and sticky and your being is way too clumsy, so everything you love drops and breaks and turns to dust before your eyes. The fact that there’s this whole fake relationship deal in the middle of it and you can place the blame on your mothers is a blessing in disguise.
It’s a weapon you can use.
Even if you don’t want to: His hands are cradling your face, his forehead dropping against yours and drawing a surprised gasp out of you because you didn’t even feel him get him close.
“I like you, I care about you,” there’s certainty in his tone, like he made up his mind, like he’s confirming his feelings to both you and himself, “I… I—” He takes a breath when you open your eyes and beg him to not say what you think he’s about to say. He takes the hint. “Do you not like me back, Y/N? Are you trying to… Is that what’s happening?”
You say nothing, but swallow back your feelings and brace yourself on his forearms, nose budging his as you move a little.
He reads your silence wrong “Y-you do?”
You think it matters if you do or not. Your heart is already breaking by the time the words are on the tip of your tongue.
“We can’t,” you whisper to him, letting your tears wet your cheeks and squeezing his forearms when his thumbs start to move in trying to dry them, shaking your head to signal him to stop. As your eyes catch his, you prepare yourself for the gentleness you’re about to lose, with the care you’re about to push away for his own good. “Because if we do, they win.”
You didn’t know your heart could break this way, as you watch his expression morph from confusion to pain to utter, genuine anger. It’s the same face he made last week, in your living room, as he yelled at his mother for even daring suggesting that you two should be together.
There’s a time when hurting Yunho brought you some sense of vengeance, a time where you considered it payback for being that person literally planned and made for you.
Now, you want to hit your head against the wall for even daring filling his eyes with tears, for being the reason frustration descends and wets his shoes as he looks down.
“Oh.”
He lets you go and you miss it. You immediately want to take your words back, push him closer to you, hug him, kiss him, whatever it may be to keep him next to you.
You start to mourn the loss of the bond you were able to form with him right away.
And it hurts.
He nods again. And it hurts. “Oh, that’s what this is about.”
It fucking hurts. When he laughs, hands on his face as he wipes his tears away, you feel like you’re going to pass out.
“And you don’t care about me enough to tell them to go fuck themselves.” He says, a resentful statement that leaves his lips before a breathy laugh does.
Opening your mouth, you attempt to contradict his words. That’s not true at all, he has to understand, he understands you, he— He raises his hand to stop you from speaking, he shakes his head like he doesn’t want to hear it.
Like your excuses, even if he hasn't listened to them at all, are not worth his time.
“I get it.” No, you don’t. “I understand.” No, you really don’t.
But you say nothing. As he’s slipping through your fingers like sand, at your own doing, you just stare at him with sorrowful eyes and an apology on your teeth.
He looks at you like he’s expecting you to stop him as he reaches the door. You want to, you really do.
You don’t.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
When the door closes behind him and leaves you alone in an office that’s not really yours, feeling like you’re not yourself, you finally allow the reality of what you just did to hit you.
Hand shaking, you cover your mouth and let out a sob as you let yourself cry what you just lost. But, as you do, you remind yourself that you don’t really deserve Yunho’s care.
You don’t really deserve his love.
Hurting him is probably the easiest way out he has of whatever he thinks he’s feeling for you.
Walking slowly to the desk, you wipe your tears away and nod to yourself. Yes, this is exactly what needed to happen. Good. Yes. What were you doing before he came in?
You grab the mouse.
Ah, the proposal. Of course.
The noise comes back, louder this time. Unbearable and ear-piercing, it forces you to close your eyes and listen to the beat of your heart before you push the sound away. You can’t afford to crash right now.
You skim through your tasks in your mind and, as you do, the reminder of a little notification you saw on your calendar this morning, with Yunho’s name on it, is what finally lets the panic break through your senses.
“No.”
And you spend the rest of the afternoon typing your escape plan away.
By the time your brother remembers he has an office, it’s dark outside and the proposal is
printed and in a folder placed neatly in the middle of his desk.
He closes the door, raising an eyebrow at the way you’re resting your shoulder against the window behind his chair, the boxes blocking them all piled up in the corner you initially started moving them to this afternoon.
“You’re still here.” He muses and you turn to him, scoffing at the obvious.
“Well, somebody has to work.”
“I was working,” he sounds a little bit offended, but when he passes in front of you and pulls back his chair to sit on it, you faintly smell whisky and cigarettes. “I was at a meeting in the gentlemen's club with Gunho.”
“That’s hardly working, Soohyun.”
Looking over his shoulder, he’s face to face with your unimpressed expression. Of course he went to the stupid club with Gunho, of course he didn’t do shit today.
“Let me remind you that I am, in fact, older than you.”
“And?”
“I deserve respect and zero questioning.”
You hum, slightly amused this time. You know he’s goofing around, you know he’s hardly mad at the implication that you do all the work he’s supposed to do plus yours but there’s this slight worry in his face that’s unusual.
“Is Gunho oppa okay?”
Your brother frowns “Of course he is.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m— Why are you asking?”
Shrugging, you turn away from him to look at the city through the window again. You can see the river and the buildings that encapsulate it perfectly and it brings you a strange sense of comfort everytime you zone out and just people watch those who feel free enough to walk along the bridge at this hour, with the cold and the rain and the mess that the leaves leave behind as they fall.
“You look distraught.”
“Well, you’ve been crying, of course I am.”
Interesting. You didn’t think he could tell, which means your face is puffy and you look ugly. Great.
“The mess in this office made me tear up when I got in this afternoon,” you say, swerving around the accusation with ease because there’s no way in hell you’re telling your brother what’s up with you. “I’m going to need your help when it comes to explaining that to dad.” And then you use your chin to point to the proposal sitting in front of him.
“You didn’t have to do this today, I know sales are low but-”
“Oh, that’s not it. That one is sitting on your email. This—” you take two steps, tap the front of the folder with your nails, “is a new thing. A thing he won’t understand nor approve unless you understand it and approve it.”
And then you move back to your position by the window, staring at the lights and the buildings one more time without explaining anything else. When you hear the flick of the pages being turned, you know he understands how serious you’re about it. No space for debating, no time for complaining: you need him to get it done now, and so he will.
Because your brother can be a lot of things but he’s not dumb.
And he can read a room like no other except maybe you.
Seconds turn into minutes and then the clock ticks and blends together as you wait, shoulder hurting by the time your brother lets out a heavy sigh.
“No, I won’t approve this.”
Definitely not what you wanted to hear.
“Excuse me?”
“You want to—”
Defensiveness floats you, over-stimulates your senses and makes you see red at the rejection of your proposal “I want to expand our market, our clientele, our opportunities to keep this company on top. Can you relate?”
“Y/N…” He scowls at your attack, at your tone “You’re running.”
“I’m doing something for the company!”
You think your roar is heard all the way to the first floor. Soohyun stares at you wide-eyed, mouth agape for a second before he closes it again. He has to fix his tie, his suit ironed for once as he takes the jacket off and discards it against the chair.
Brat, princess, annoying little sister. You know that’s what he calls you, he has called you that ever since you were a child and in the most endearing way possible. You have yelled at him before, you have stomped your foot and cried and moaned until you got your way, until he agreed to let you do something.
You have never screamed at him like this before, though.
It shows in the way your chest rises and falls quickly, in the way he has to take a calming breath to not yell back at you. Your eyes are full with tears when he looks up and the crease of his brow disappears because, even though you both could be closer and understand each other better, he still is your brother.
Your brother, who loves you and cares about you in his own way.
It proves more difficult to let him see the real you, more difficult than what it felt with Yunho or with anyone else.
So when the tears fall down your cheeks, you wipe them away quickly and pretend they were never there.
“I don’t know what the hell happened,” he starts, calm, taking a step into your direction and raising his hand and you recoil a bit out of habit. He hesitates for a few seconds but then he’s squeezing your shoulder and pulling you into a tight hug that feels unfamiliar, unusual and weird until it doesn’t. You melt into the embrace because you need it, because it allows you to let go of your frustration and cry it out on your brother’s chest, “but you’re going to explain it to me whether you like it or not. And only then, I will consider saying yes to your proposal.”
When you pull away to look at him, it’s with a pout and a scowl that draws a breathy laugh out of him.
“Stupid.” He pushes you away a little before pulling you back in for a hug, “Always keeping things to yourself instead of letting me take the weight of it all. Stupid.”
It takes a few minutes, but when the hug doesn’t seem necessary and your usual disgust for physical touch comes back into your system, he allows you to take two steps back and clean your face with the back of your hand.
“Haven’t seen you cry since you were a child,” he whispers and you shrug, ignoring the fact that your heart stings at the comment. “What happened?”
You tell him everything that night.
Yunho hasn’t seen you in three months.
Which, at first, came as relief. He didn’t want to see your face ever again after the things you confirmed to him back in your brother's office. Who needed you, right? He told himself his mother loved enough to understand the sudden change of heart, although she doesn’t exactly know what happened between you in the first place.
Maybe he should’ve been honest when he got the chance, back in your house, the afternoon they told you both about the pr relationship.
He was so close to telling the truth, too, when he walked out of the living room and into the hallway to clear his head and not scream at his mother in front of yours. It was there, at the tip of his tongue, and then his mother appeared in front of him with that spark behind her eye that could only mean one thing: it didn’t matter what the truth was, he was going to do this even if it killed him inside.
Her words the next second confirmed it and he wondered right then if his freedom was worth the suffering:
“Either you do this or I’ll make sure you’re never able to dance again, Jeong Yunho. No more public university, no more friends, no more staying at the dorm, just your father’s company,” and he was about to refuse, yet again, she raised her finger as a warning. “I mean it. Y/N is perfect to clear the company’s image but if we can’t use her then we’ll have to work twice as hard as we do now to clear it.”
And Yunho would rather fake an entire life with you than work for the man who single handedly ruined his life the second he was born. He didn’t hate his father, he thought about him like a concept he would never understand even when he desperately tried to, but he would never become part of his company.
Not in the way his mom suggested, anyway.
He just needed to get through college, pretend to be interested in the family business and then land a freelancer job elsewhere, in a foreign company maybe, one who didn’t seem a threat to his father’s and then move on his own when he had enough money saved.
Independence. He needed independence. Strangely enough, he needed you to gain that independence even though you meant the exact opposite to him, in his head.
So he doesn’t know why he yelled at you that afternoon. To take it all out, maybe? He thought he hated you back then, too.
He had already agreed to it in the hallway, to his mom.
He had already agreed to it the second he was born.
Which is crazy because that’s not a normal experience to have. And if you were born a boy or him a girl, none of this would’ve happened in the first place. You’d be friends, like Gunho and Soohyun, and maybe he’d be forced to be with someone that wasn’t shoved down his throat for so long.
Imagine his surprise when he kissed you back that night in his dorm. No, scratch that, imagine his surprise when he started liking you the second you showed your true colors to him.
You’re not perfect by any means, but neither is he and it only took you allowing him to enter a little bit into your mind, into your heart, into your soul, for him to fall for you hard. Or maybe he always liked you? His mind didn’t allow him to sleep at all when you left, but it didn’t allow him to go and follow you that same night either, so the conundrum continued to torture him until it didn’t.
After the fight in the office, he went home and sat in his childhood bedroom for a while. He had dinner with his brother when he came home to look for some documents in his father’s home office and then he went back to his dorm and stared at the ceiling until Yeosang came back from wherever he’s been disappearing to these days.
He pretended everything was fine under Yeosang’s scrutinizing gaze but his friend and roommate knew him so much it only took less than a week for his sudden mood to reach the ears of the rest of the friend group.
Not so subtle messages started entering his phone. He answered all of them and then used the excuse of being on the app to check your chat in case you sent a message and it didn’t notify him for some reason. He told them everything was okay, that he was feeling a bit under the weather.
And he managed to convince them until he checked his calendar one day (the one he shared with you) and realized all foreseeable events had been cancelled. You had another meeting where you two needed to coexist, a company dinner with both your team and Gunho’s team that he needed to go to as your plus one and, surprisingly enough, a paparazzi session scheduled by your mother that you needed to first prepare to and then do.
All of this was explained to him by his PR assistant. It surprised him to see that many postponed and canceled the app. It angered him to assume you canceled everything just because you didn’t want to see him.
He didn’t want to see you either, but he had to. Weren’t you the one who more than once scolded him for not being professional enough?
Ha!
It was his opportunity to tease you about it. And so, when he was told to go to your brother’s office the next day, he had this whole speech ready to go. He would tell you to stop being so dumb, that a kiss and his feelings is something that can be ignored. That he needed you both to forgive and forget.
Yunho needs to continue his plan, even if his own heart breaks in the process. And as he got down the elevator and walked the hall to reach the office, his heart desperately asked him to reconsider. Because there, while pushing the door handle to enter the space he dreaded to be a week prior, Yunho realized he wanted to ask you to be his again.
When he found nothing but Soohyun on his chair, his conviction deflated and his ego sank to the ground.
“Yunho!” Your brother sprung out of his chair, excitingly rounding his desk until he reached for him. Arm around his shoulders, Yunho raised a brow at the sudden animosity. “Were you expecting someone else?”
“N-no.”
“Right.”
He knew Soohyun could call his bullshit from a mile away. But it didn’t matter, he was already sitting down in front of him in the new couches facing each other. He wanted to point it out, but Soohyun beat him to it.
“Your friend Park Seonghwa has amazing taste.”
“Ah,” he breathed out a laugh, a nervous chuckle that made him gasp for air a second after, “yeah. He, um, was top of his class before he graduated.”
“I can tell,” Soohyun nodded and looked around, scrunching his nose in a way that reminded Yunho of you. “Y/N is not going to be available for the next few months.”
What?
“W-what?”
“I know you came here looking for her and we’ve known each other since you were born, Yunho, I think we can skip the shitty formalities.”
“Hyung…”
Soohyun shaked his head, laughing with a relaxed sincerity that is such a Soohyun thing to do “There’s never not been a moment in my life where my sister doesn’t surprise me. I know you know her and I know you two have grown… Closer since this whole PR thing started but I don’t think you can grasp the full Y/N effect until you live with her, you know?”
He didn’t. Not at all.
“She crafted in four, maybe five hours a project that would’ve taken me at least a month to sit down and write,” he explained and Yunho swallowed thickly, the lump on his throat going down. “And she wanted to get it done as soon as she got the approval from dad. So, I hope you understand that she couldn’t exactly give you a notice before postponing and cancelling your shared schedule.”
Ah. So you didn’t want to speak to him at all. He scoffed, annoyed. “So she asked you to tell me?”
“Nope. In fact, I’m pretty sure she would kill me if she knew I’m meeting with you at all.”
Yunho blinked, confused.
“Oh.”
“But I love you like a brother, Yunho. You’re my family, you’re her family even though she hates it and I realized recently that the four of us need to stick together. If everything else goes to shit, we’ll still have us.”
The four of you. Including him and Gunho.
“And as a family, we owe each other honesty. We owe each other loyalty and forgiveness and understanding. You see where I’m going with this?”
“No,” he admitted, frowning a bit. “What does any of that have to do with me and Y/N? We don’t like each other, I know you and Gunho noticed at some point. It’s the way things are supposed to be.” The words had a bitter taste, but he pushed through them.
He sounded like you.
Soohyun let out a sigh and he got up from his seat to squeeze Yunho’s shoulder “She comes back in three months, Yunho. She’s doing something from the company but she has to come back, right?”
Yunho shrugged, pretending the information didn’t spark something close to hope inside of him.
“Understanding. That’s what we owe each other: Love and understanding… And lunch. Your brother actually owns me lunch, feel free to join us.”
Your brother is the weirdest guy ever. However, he realized that as Soohyun walked out of the office and left him to consider his words, that he was already planning on telling you when you came back.
He missed you already, too.
And yet, he didn’t find the courage to tell you at all. It tormented him, greatly, vastly. It consumed him through his classes, his dance rehearsals, his performances. It tugged on his heart the days he had to go to the office and pretend he cared about the company, and through his hang outs with his friends.
They asked about you all the time. He had to remind them you were on a business trip, he had to make up a story, he had to tell them the details were apparently confidential when he didn’t even know where you were.
He could’ve just called you. He could’ve just asked you.
His finger over your contact on his phone while he sits in Wooyoung's room during a house party, in the dark.
He could just ask you.
He–
“Okay, what the fuck is going on with you?”
He drops his phone, the light of the screen going out as it lands down on the bed.
“Holy shit, Mingi!”
A light turns on and he squints his eyes at the sudden intrusion.
“You scared the shit out of me!”
“I walked in here like five minutes ago,” his best friend deadpans and Yunho pouts like a child. “You know, I’m starting to feel like I don’t mean that much to you anymore.”
That offends him deeply and he scowls before tossing a pillow in his direction “What the hell are you even saying?”
“I’m a patient person, Yunho,” he catches the pillow and tosses it back, “and I’ve been waiting for you to tell me what's been going on for the last month and half but you keep saying everything’s fine.”
“Because everything’s f—”
“No, it’s not!”
Mingi is tired, he can tell. He’s been holding his worries inside since the day he told everyone about his relationship with you and Yunho feels awful. This is that part of his life that’s hard to talk about. He only explained to Mingi about the dreadful desire that his father has of making him work for him around a year ago and he’s known Mingi for so long at this point that it does feel a little like he doesn’t trust him enough.
But it’s hard and he has kept his feelings and desires buried for so long he thinks he might’ve accidentally dragged his feelings for you along with it and now they’re all mixed up and scratching the walls of their enclosure, begging to come out of him.
“I’m not used to push people around to tell them about their feelings but you’re my best friend and—”
“I kissed Y/N.”
Mingi stops mid sentence, blinking a few times before moving to sit beside him on the bed. Yunho hopes, as he faintly hears the music outside of the room getting louder and Wooyoung screaming something that he can’t exactly make up, that Mingi doesn’t think he’s suddenly confessing his afflictions out of pressure.
Instead, the words came out of his mouth like he couldn’t resist telling them in the first place. After keeping it to himself for weeks, nearly three months, it finally feels like breathing a little.
“O… kay.” He says as a response and it’s Yunho’s turn to blink at him in disbelief, Mingi laughs a little. “So you kissed the girl you like. Isn’t that something to be happy about?” Yunho gapes at the insinuation of Mingi knowing he likes you, except, it doesn’t come as a surprise. His friends are very observant, to his absolute horror they can’t be fooled. “Did she reject you? Is that what’s going on?”
“No! I mean, yes. We… She kissed me first!” He defends himself, taking a quick inhale before cursing softly under it. “And then I kissed her. And then we kissed and she left and she ghosted me for a little, actually. And then I saw her in her office, that's not actually her office but her brother’s, and I… I kind of confronted her? And then she rejected me.”
By the time he finishes his rambles, Mingi looks amused and a little worried.
“You have to be in this… Fake relationship with her and that’s tormenting you, then? Because she rejected you?”
“No, that’s not… We’re not— I am, we are still in the fake relationship, it’s just that she’s gone.”
“She died?!”
“What? No! No, she’s,” Yunho closes his eyes, laughing at the assumption because he knows Mingi said it to get that exact response in return, “she’s not dead. She, um, she’s on that business trip.”
“Oh, that’s right! You told us—”
“I lied.”
“What?”
His poor best friend looks confused beyond belief and that guilt of not telling him everything creeps in once more, threatening to shut him up until he reminds himself Mingi is trustworthy and deserves some clarity.
“She is on a business trip, I just don’t know why or how or where she is,” he finishes softly, his lips in a line and revealing just how uneasy that makes him feel. “I don’t know where she is and I think that she left because I— Well, when she rejected me we didn’t end up on the best of terms.”
“So you think it’s your fault.” Mingi finishes with a nod, letting out a sigh a second after. “Well, it’s not.”
“It kind of is, though.”
“Yunho, it’s not. She’s a grown up, if she decides to run away from her feelings instead of facing them she’s kind of a dumbass.”
“Mingi!” Yunho’s pushing him a bit with his hand on his shoulder before he can help it.
“She is!” Laughing, his best friend takes no offense at the push and instead pushes him back, teasingly. “Remember that one party you had at your place, when your parents were gone on that business trip with your brother?”
“Oh, that party?”
“Yeah, that party,” Mingi nods, looking away for a second, something shining in his face Yunho realizes he’s longing for. He wants that to shine on him, too: the security that being with the right person brings you. “Love tried to run away from an argument that night, too. I just didn’t let her.”
“Are you calling your girlfriend a dumbass?”
“Yeah,” and instead of saying it with a grudge, the confirmation comes out of a place filled with, well, love. “She was a dumbass back then, at least.”
“Y/N is not like that at all,” Yunho says after a bit, “she’s not a dumbass for running away from this. Our thing… It’s kind of different. We’ve been put in this situation since we were kids and we hated, like actually hated each other for a while. We treated each other so badly, Mingi, you have no idea the way she gets under my goddamn skin sometimes,” and despite saying it like it’s a bad thing, he can’t help but smile. Mingi notices this, too. “You know I don’t have the best relationship with my parents, right? Well, hers is way worse.”
“Wait, you told us that this relationship was something to clear your company’s image?” Mingi recalls and Yunho feels another pang of guilt against his ribcage.
“It is! It totally is, it’s just… Well, she was born a girl and I was born a boy and our parents have a very, um, old-fashioned concept of love and what it’s supposed to look like. It was decided a long time ago that we were going to end up together.”
There’s a few seconds of silence before Mingi bursts out laughing so hard it drowns the noise from outside the room.
“That’s funny to you?” Yunho asks, light-hearted and smiling at the sound of his best friend's laugh.
“No, no, it’s just… Your parents are forcing you two together for some weird legacy, bloodline reason and you fell for the girl you’re in a fake relationship with and you’re supposed to hate?”
Now that he hears it like that…
“Basically, yeah.”
“Oh, San’s girl is about to have a field trip with this information.”
“Dude!”
“What? It’s dumb! Y/N is a dumbass, you’re dumber for not just calling her and telling her you miss her and you’re both really fucking dumb for not telling your parents to fuck off. You’re grown!”
Yunho sighs, shaking his head. “She doesn’t like me like that, Mingi.”
“Yes, she does!” He laughs again, covering his mouth with his hand once he realizes Yunho is getting annoyed with it. “Yunho… Ugh, is this how you all felt those few months where I was crying over Love?”
“I didn’t feel anything.”
“Because you’re a puppy,” Mingi’s shoulder brushes against his in a not so subtle way of teasing him and his eyes blank in pretend annoyance. “You are. And you’re a pretty great guy, Yunho. If she doesn’t like you back it’s not the end of the world.”
Yunho nods, but he’s suddenly not as convinced as he should be.
“And you’re also one of the strongest people I know, in here.” Mingi’s finger taps over his heart on his chest. “But you don’t have to carry your burdens on your own. This is all… It all seems pretty dumb to me but it must be really hard on you, hm? Especially since you want to live a life separate from your family, right?”
That, Mingi knows. “Mhm.”
“And so does Y/N?”
“No, I’m not so sure about that,” he murmurs back and his heart aches when he thinks about you and the way you’re treated home, in the way your mother has treated you in front of him. “I think she thinks she’s nothing without her family but I also think she was raised to believe that. They… Well, even her brother has a hard time seeing how fucking amazing she is.”
“Is she?” Mingi drops his head to the side, doubt and a little prejudice on his expression. “Is she fucking amazing, Yun?”
“She’s… She’s such a good person. Which is really crazy for me to say, because I thought she was a spoiled brat for a long time. And she is! But she’s also… She cares so deeply and she’s enjoys painting and she’s so great with kids and—”
“And you have it bad,” Mingi laughs again, shoving him against the mattress with a push and standing up from the bed. Yunho laughs, recognizing the amount of pushing as tipsy Mingi behavior and nothing else. “So bad. Were you about to call her?”
He feels called out and a little shy about it. He blushes and all.
“Maybe.”
When his focus goes back to his phone, it’s when he hears it.
And his heart drops to his ass.
A distant curse and the sound of a call ending is enough to send his mind into a new, different spiral.
“Was that…?”
Yunho picks up the phone, checks the last call he made and your name appears next to the nine minutes and a half his conversation with Mingi lasted.
His mouth runs dry, his throat closes as he turns to screen to show it to Mingi.
“Holy fuck.”
“What do I do?”
“That’s insane. San’s girl is going to have the best night of her life.”
“Mingi!” He blocks the phone, tosses it on the bed and gets up to shake his best friend's shoulders. “What. Do. I. Do. Now.”
Your heart still beats like the day you not-so-accidentally listened to a conversion you shouldn’t have.
There’s the distant memory of your phone vibrating under your pillow at the hotel you were staying at for the night. It happened only a few weeks ago, near the three month mark into your trip around the country, looking for businesses worth the investment in little towns. That far into your adventure, you had met at least a dozen small companies worth every penny inside your father’s pocket, more so than the one’s already signed. You had met wonderful people who didn’t exactly know who you were and you had been treated so kindly it made the ache in your chest go away.
At least for a little bit.
So when you sleepily read Yunho’s name on your screen at two am in the morning, the sting of the pain was unfamiliar and the first thing that crossed your mind was that something bad happened to your brother. Or his brother. Or him.
What other reason did he have to call you when he left that office hating you all over again?
“H-hello?”
Nothing. Just silence and maybe a distant melody, the ruffling of the phone against something.
“Yunho? If you called me to piss me off I swear to God—”
“Holy shit, Mingi! You scared the shit out of me!”
Mingi?
There’s a deeper voice you can hear on Yunho’s end and that’s when you realized he didn’t mean to call you in the first place.
And you should've hung up there. But you didn’t and so you listened to their entire conversation and realized one thing:
Mingi was right. You are a dumbass.
And Yunho is even dumber, but that’s something you would have to rub on his face when you gather the courage to see him again. That day is not today, you made sure of it.
You see, you’ve changed just a tiny bit these past three months. It’s not like you went to a spiritual retreat but by crafting that proposal while fleeing your feelings and the mess that you made with just one kiss, you came around something you never experienced before. Not fully, at least:
Freedom.
You spent Christmas and New Years all alone, with no one dear to you around and you saw the fireworks from your hotel window and you felt and suddenly you understood what Yunho sees in in sleeping in that tiny dorm with a roommate and a pile of dirty clothes in a corner, with no pushing their way into the room to pick his messes up and no one making sure he eats at the correct time, the correct meals and the correct porcelain for the day.
No rules, no conditions, just a place where he can be free and himself.
You did all of that while also making sure you didn’t abandon your priorities. You went to sleep late because you wanted to and then you went to bed early the next day because there were no rules, no events you needed to attend to, no photographers asking you to smile.
There was no one to tell you that you looked fat after eating one delicious, non dietetic meal. There was no devil (your mom) whispering in your ear how everyone would notice the carbs, the bloat and the tiny zits.
There was no one there to stop you from cutting your hair. And so you did. What once was kept long and straight in order to keep a traditional, clean look, now rested in waves on your shoulders,
It makes it so much easier to walk out of the shower, in less time too!
And although your heart yearned for Yunho everyday, especially after hearing his conversation with Mingi at two in the morning when you weren’t even supposed to, it was the first time in years you felt happy enough to drop the mask, the pretences, the good posture and even the makeup.
Yup, you went out without makeup three times! That’s some information that would send your mother into cardiac arrest at the very least.
So now, as you try to move fast through a college campus that’s not yours, with a box that contains something you call an apology and it might not even be, your heart is beating with the same amount of strength just at the thought of all this backfiring.
Because you’re not ready to see Yunho, not yet. You want him to come and find you, to come and tell you if he wants to accept you back into his life, under his terms, after you so insistently kicked him out of yours.
You sneakily checked his calendar. You bribed your assistant, who bribed his assistant, so now his schedule for the week is in a screenshot on your phone and you have checked it four times to confirm this is a good time to be here.
He has dinner with his family and yours (who don’t even know you’re back yet) at his house, on the hill, which is forty minutes away from his campus. That’s exactly the window of opportunity you’ve been waiting for since coming back.
And you came back a week ago.
You may or may not have memorized the code for the door from that only time you came to his dorm and so it’s not really a surprise when you quickly enter it and hear a screech behind you when you are busy closing the door.
When you turn around, Yeosang is shirtless and covering his chest with his hands “Y/N!”
“Yeosang.” You say with a small bow, struggling to not laugh and turning your face away, looking at the postered up wall. “So nice to see you here, in your room.”
“W-what are you… I mean how do you… Should I call Yun—”
“No!” When you turn to him again, eyes wide with worry, he has a shirt on and his phone in his hand. “Please don’t… Let me do something real quick and then you can speak to him, okay?”
You start to fumble with the box, placing it at the end of the bed and opening it up fast. You throw the lid on top of Yeosang’s bed and then get to work, pulling everything out.
“Oh, I don’t know. I hate lying to my friends, Y/N.”
“And you’re such a great friend for that but you won’t be lying to him because I’m not asking you to do that.”
“I wouldn’t even if you did ask me to.”
“Well, I don’t know about that…”
Okay, so you changed a little bit. Not a lot.
You sigh, struggling with the placement of your gift/apology because Yunho changed his sheets and so the color scheme it’s not perfect anymore.
“What’s all of this?”
“Yunho enjoys dancing,” you start and you see him nod from the corner of your eye, so you smile. “He told me he did it to have this dorm but I didn’t buy it at all, and so when I was on my trip I… Sort of thought of him a little bit, not a lot.” You clear your throat, a slight heat creeping up your cheeks. “But I didn’t want to wait another day without giving this to him. I just… I can’t exactly be here when he sees it.”
You finish, turning back to Yeosang and you realize you’re out of breath, nervousness creasing your brows.
“Would you please let me know how he reacts to it the next time we see each other?” You ask softly, almost shy and Yeosang visibly relaxes at the tone. It makes you feel understood somehow and so you relax a little bit, too. “If you’re here when he gets here I mean, um, you are all dressed up.”
When you point to his outfit, he seems to remember that he was, in fact, getting ready to go out when you walked in. His hair is wet but styled and all.
“Oh, I was… I was just going to the club.” He points to a camcorder on his beat and you raise a curious brow, but don’t really ask anything. “I’m making a dance documentary for one of my classes. Yunho is in it, too.”
That peaks your interest and he laughs, possibly at the way you light up at the mention of your fake-boyfriend-possible-love-of-your-life name. “He is?”
“Yes, he’s… A big part of it, actually, but I go to this club to get footage and… You should ask him to explain it to you.”
Now, at that, your smile sure turns sour because there’s no actual way of knowing if he wants to see you again or not.
After all, he didn’t attempt to contact you after that phone call.
You don’t know if he noticed that he called you, either.
It’s kind of killing you inside, all the space you need to fill with assumptions instead of facts.
“Sure, um…”
“I can stay until he comes back.”
“Oh, I don’t want to ruin your plans for the night, Yeosang. You should go and—”
“I want to see it. I want to record it,” he explains, looking over your shoulder and into the gift in Yunho’s bed. “He says he’s not sure, but I think he wants to dedicate his life to it, you know?”
“To dancing?”
Yeosang nods.
Your voice sounds very small when you ask him “Do you think he’s going to like it?”
He smiles, softly, endeared almost.
“He’s going to love it,” he assures you, “And your haircut, too.”
You chuckle at that, touching the ends of it that rest on your shoulder “You think?”
“Yeah! It suits you, actually.”
“Thank you, Yeosang.”
This time, and after making small talk with his roommate, you leave Yunho’s dorm with a smile on your face instead of tears running down your cheeks.
There’s exhaustion pouring out of Yunho by the time he reaches his dorm door. He closes his eyes, rests his forehead against the cool wood of it and lets out a sigh to collect himself. He needs to have the energy to take a shower, after all.
It’s not as late as he expected it to be, the digital clock on the wall glows blue and neon and lets him know it’s around nine thirty. Good, that’s great.
He misses you.
And it’s hard not to think of you when he’s surrounded with people who know you, who bring you up when it’s time to talk about positive results for the company, or the time you organized an event for you mother because your brother had no taste to pick the venue or catering or whatever the fuck they were going on about tonight.
It didn’t escape him that Soohyun glanced at him every time your parents brought you up and he wonders if it shows in his face just how much he longs to see you again.
He’s thinking about your face when the room unexpectedly lights up and Yeosang is standing on his own bed, in the corner, smiling like a creep. Yunho almost falls as a curse slips past his lips and he stares at his friend like something is deeply wrong with him.
Because it is.
It’s almost comical how breathless he is as he asks him: “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Hey!”
“—Standing in the corner like a serial killer.”
“Turn around, Yunho.”
“What?”
“Turn,” he repeats, slowly, as he climbs out of the bed, the camera pointed in his direction still. “Around.”
So he does.
And what he sees… Confuses him. Until it doesn’t.
There’s a few things on his bed: There’s some polaroid pictures lined up, different people he doesn’t know in them, all in different traditional attire and Yunho can see there’s inscription in them, the dates all read from early november to two weeks ago.
There’s tickets to a competition that’s supposed to be sold out. He knows, he tried to get a ticket the second they announced it but couldn’t. The top dance teams are going to battle for some bucks but, most importantly, they’re going to battle to keep the dying scene alive.
A book titled Why Dance Matters next to a golden retriever plushie with a suit that makes him giggle out of the pure weirdness of it.
There’s a copy of grease with some signatures in the front. He can make out something that reads as Barry Pearl in it, he thinks. His mind reels at what that means.
A cd in a clear case with a beautiful sunset and a building he recognizes immediately as the orphanage you took him to. Six silhouettes he can only imagine symbolizes him, Jaemi, Hyunjoon, his brother, Soyi and you.
But what confirms it’s something you did, it’s the envelope that sits in the middle of it all. It's waxed and sealed with something that looks regal, elegant and, when he picks it up to see the seal up close, he smells your perfume.
He turns to Yeosang, eyes watery, in request of an explanation.
“Open it! I’ve been dying to read it but I’m a great friend,” Yeosang almost wiggles with excitement and Yunho’s eyes water a little. “Or so she said.”
“She was here?”
“Y/N?” His friend asks in return, weirded out. “Well, yes.”
“When?”
“An… hour and something ago.”
“Where did she go?”
“Are you okay?”
He’s speechless, envelope shaking a bit in his hand as he pushes the need to run to you away. He doesn’t know what this means, he doesn’t know what the letter says either. His heartbeats are thumping on his ears and muffling Yeosang’s words a little bit.
He needs to calm down.
He needs to read the letter. He’s–
“You’re crying,” Yeosang turns off the camcorder, closing the screen and tossing it softly on his bed before taking a few steps in his direction. Concern is written all over his face, a little bit of guilt too. “I shouldn’t have let her in, right? I knew something was off with you but I had no idea that you two had fought or—”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Yunho quickly dries off his tears, shaking his head at his friend’s anxious apology. “I just… I missed her so much, Yeo.”
“Oh.”
“So fucking much.”
“Yunho…” He closes his eyes and jumps a little a Yeosang’s sudden embrace, but he’s grateful for it. Envelope trap between his chest and Yeosang’s rib, he takes a bated breath filled with things he can’t quite burden his friend with.
He remembers Mingi’s words loud and clear, but the only thing Yunho wants to do right now is find where you are so he can see you again. Hug you again. Kiss you again.
That night, after he realized he had dialed your number by mistake, he had a full on breakdown in Wooyoung’s room and it took Mingi and Mingi’s girlfriend to talk him out of fleeing the country out of embarrassment, out of guilt. He thought back then he had definitely lost you, because the consensus the three of them came to was a ‘let her reach you if she wants to clear things out’ instead of a ‘call her and explain it yourself before she has the chance to reach out to you first’.
Mingi said you had to at least prove you had any interest in making things right, in fighting to at least keep your friendship with him.
As he opens up the letter, he immediately knows he should’ve just called you.
He even forgets Yeosang is right beside him, looking away to give him some privacy to read your words without actually letting go of the embrace, just in case he needs it. Yunho knows this, he’s thankful, his legs shaking with need to go after wherever you are.
And he’s about to ask again but, as he turns his head to regard his friend and explains the letter a little, he’s one step ahead of him.
“She’s staying in a hotel, not her house.” Yunho opens and closes his mouth, about to ask him the name of the hotel when he shakes his head. “The luxury one in Itaewon. What? Did you think I would let her go without getting the information first?”
Yunho shrugs, Yeosang clicks his tongue in disappointment, letting go of him and putting, at least, ten steps between the both of them.
“She’s very talkative when she’s not with a big crowd, Yun. Now move.”
“I think I—” He starts to say but stops midway, looking down at the letter and then at his friend again.
Yeosang gives him a soft smile, the one he curves on his lips when he’s endeared with something, with someone. Yunho went clubbing with him once, he knows the smile very well.
“I know,” he says in a murmur and then sighs like it’s a task to be around him. “Now, let’s go. We’re going to the same area anyway and I could use the ride. There’s the box.”
In the car (one he ordered from an app, not his family car), his leg moves up and down and his hands tremble with anticipation and, as the imposing structure of the hotel comes into view while he stares at the window, he swears he feels at ease.
For the first time in months, he feels like he’s home.
And it’s all because he’s about to see you again.
Yeosang is not a very discreet person. He’s soft spoken and he looks like he cares about his friend’s a great deal, but he has that clumsiness of a person who’s used to being transparent about things.
He asked you if you just got home with a spark of hopefulness in his eye, like he couldn’t wait to clue in Yunho about it, like he knew what he was going to do when he read your letter and saw your gift.
Yeosang asked you like Yunho had already forgiven you and that had filled you silly head with warmth and hope and expectations you shouldn’t have because, as far as you noticed, Yunho is not the most honest friend to have.
So you asked yourself if Yeosang knew about the fight, if the rest of his friends knew.
And you still told Yeosang where you are staying.
There’s only one lamp helping with lighting up the bedroom, the city outside of it alive and busy like it always is. The amount of lights beyond the river bring you comfort, something familiar spreads on your chest when you take them in and you admit, for the first time in three months plus the week you’ve been staying here, that you love this stupid city even if it makes you feel trapped most of your days.
But here? In this space that you have made yours over the last seven days? You love it.
Your hair is wet and your face is clean of any product. You told yourself to go about your night routine like you weren’t expecting something else to happen. That way, when it doesn’t because you feel that what you did is unforgivable as much as it is cruel, you won’t be as disappointed.
So your face is moisturized and you have your nightgown underneath the silk bath this hotel provides and you’re totally not thinking about Yunho being in the same city as you, you are totally not freaking out over the reaction to your gift, you’re chill.
You’re chilling, you’re cool.
And the way your heart leaps when you hear a knock at the door means nothing, because you ordered room service like thirty minutes ago. It’s fine.
He’s probably not showing up.
So why the hell is he there when you open the door? And where’s your room service when you need it?
“Yunho!”
“Y/N…”
The atmosphere turns weird and tense right away and you grab onto the frame of the door as he stares at you with indecipherable emotion in his eyes. Is he happy to see you? Is he here to curse you out?
Is he mad? He’s totally upset at you. He is, he’s… Skinnier, just a little bit. His hair is lighter, too, like a brownish blond that suits him and his skin tone and he looks so good even if there’s dark circles under his eyes.
You missed him so much.
“Come in! Um…” You say after what feels like hours of silence, of you two just staring at each other with a little disbelief, opening up the room door wider and stepping aside so he can pass right by you.
His cologne makes you a little dizzy, drives you a little crazier but there’s not enough time to focus on that because he has the box you left earlier in his dorm in one hand and your letter in the other.
You close the door, taking in a little calming breath that does nothing to appease the erratic beat of your heart.
The eighty two square meters of this room suddenly feel like ten and when he puts the box down on the coffee table of the immediate tiny living room space of this suite, you feel like it’s over.
He turns around, a hand on his hip and the shade that the lamp casts on him doesn’t allow you to determine if he’s clenching his jaw or not, if he’s upset or not, if he’s—
Yunho raises his hand, the one holding your letter.
“What’s this?”
Oh, he’s so upset. Okay, good, you foresaw this the moment you decided to give him something. It’s okay, you tell yourself as you walk the steps separating you and take the letter from his hand, you can deal with this.
And, although you have changed a little in the months you didn’t see him, there’s a long way to go before your defensiveness stops being the only way you know how to approach a situation targeting you and your ego.
“If you didn’t like it, you could’ve just thrown it away or burned it, Yunho, you didn’t have to come all the way here—”
“Read it to me.”
You look up at him, blinking once and then twice at his request.
“Didn’t you—”
“Princess,” he says, letting out a tiny breath in between his words, “read it to me. Please.”
Now that you’re physically closer to him, you can pick up this gentleness in his features that you know well. It’s the same expression he had back in the orphanage, when Jiwoo took Jaemi in her arms and he was left staring at you with his cheek pressed on his forearm while he rested on the table. You think about that exact moment a lot, late at night, when the only thing overwhelming your thoughts it’s him.
You swallow the lump on your throat down as you take out the letter from the envelope. It’s a little dark but there’s really no need for you to read the words when you know them by heart. You wrote and rewrote them at least a hundred times before deciding the letter looked good and that it wasn’t too long, too obnoxious, too sweet, too cringy. Just the right amount of emotion in case it came to bite you in the ass, like now.
“S-sure,” you let out a sigh, past caring if he sees you’re a little affected by the situation as a whole. “Yunho, I’m sure you’re reading this after seeing the gift layed out in front of you. Take it as an expression of gratitude for all the times the mere thought of you got me through a day, even in this time when we’re supposed to be upset at each other. I think about you a lot and I think about what I did, too. I’m— This all sounds to stupid and formal,” you criticize your own work without thinking it through, frowning and looking up at him. “This letter is supposed to be an apology and it reads like an email.”
Yunho shakes his head, a tiny smile tugging on his lips. “Go on, please.”
Sniffing because you feel uncomfy and vulnerable, you continue.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why now and not three months ago. Well, it takes a lot for me to defy the expectations people put on my shoulders. As you know, my last name is laced with success I didn’t work on and letting go of things you’re used to is hard, but I did. I went away, I learned, I grew up a little bit and in my journey the only constant was you. Not the fight we had, not the way we have treated each other throughout the many years I’ve known you. I’ve always seen your life from the outside even if I was a part of it, I’ve seen your social media posts and wondered if I wasn’t deserving of the same kindness you display to your friends on them but, as you proved to me that I am deserving of it, I understood that it wasn’t your voice in my head telling me I didn’t, it was mine.
“Not my mother’s voice, not anyone else's, but mine. Accepting that was hard but I did it and I did it on my own but as a result of the impact you had on me the second you turned around and held me with the care I now think I deserve.” Something drops on the paper, wets it and blends the ink of the pen you used together and you realize there’s tears running down your cheeks. “I can’t ask you to forgive me for what I did. But just know that I kissed you because I wanted to, not because you were being kind to me. And I pushed you away because, out of everyone that has come and gone from my life, you’re the only person who has the possibility to break my heart and mend it the times you seem fit…”
You look up and to the side to wipe your tears. You’d pat yourself on the back for how you read this to him, without any stutters or mistakes, but the truth it’s that melancholy swallows you as you reach the end of the letter. It’s more emotional than what you’d remembered, too, now that you’re reading it outloud and in front of the man you love.
There’s no need for you to read what comes next because you want to say it looking at him.
“And I’m sorry. I love you and I don’t love you just because we kissed or because we are forced to be together. I love you because you’re part of me, because you’ve always been. I love you and I can’t stand to lose you. Again, I’m sorry,” you repeat, looking down at the words again before finishing in a whisper: “Yours, Y/N.”
There’s this pregnant silence that follows that makes you fidget on your feet. It takes a second for you to gather yourself together again, wipe your cheeks and look up at Yunho. There’s disbelief in his expression and you wince in preparation for what’s about to follow.
“Like I said,” you start again, extending the letter to him so he can take it, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I don’t expect you to do anything, really, a-and I understand if this is all too childish or too cringy for you to say something back. I don’t need you to say something back! Really, I don’t,” you laugh amidst the sudden verbal vomit and shrug, not even looking at him anymore. “I j-just wanted you to know. And I mean it: If you don’t want me that way, it’s completely fine, Jeong. I also settle for being your friend, i-if that’s easier for everyone— For you, if that’s easier for you,” you correct yourself, “because I don’t really care what anyone thinks anymore, including my mother, she can go fuck herself and she can win all she wants if that means keeping you in my life and—”
He grabs the letter and in a second he uses the tight hold you have on it to push you closer, tearing the paper in the process.
“Kim Y/N, you big dummy.”
He lets go of the letter and you do too, hands resting on his chest as you stumble forward a little, the paper falling to your feet as his right hand settles on your cheek, the left one on the nape of your neck.
“Excuse me?”
Yunho laughs, breathy and pointed while his eyes scan your face. “You heard me.”
“Are trying to piss me off, Jeong Yun—”
This time, when Yunho kisses you, it doesn’t feel new. It doesn’t feel like defiance, it doesn’t feel like you’re breaking the rules or letting your mom win.
It feels like coming come.
The ache in your soul stops the second his lips move against yours, deliciously slow and firm while he holds you close. His hands shift, they move the satin robe as they descend and find their place on your back, on your hip. Your chest collides with his with a soft nudge forwards and you sigh against his mouth, welcoming the way his hands tighten on you, feeling finally at ease in his embrace.
You thought, when preparing his gift, writing the apology letter and then earlier at his dorm, that your self control was something to be admired. Yeah, you love him deeply and all, but you had the restraint to give him the opportunity to decide what he wanted to do with all the things you told him.
Now you think that there’s nothing in the world that could stop you from kissing his lips raw, from pulling his hair a bit when your fingers tangle in it, from drinking the sound you get in return.
Fuck your self control. You want Yunho like you never wanted anyone or anything before.
That’s why you’re grateful when he pumps the break, lips leaving yours and breath on your lips. When you open your eyes, he’s already staring at you. With the way he’s holding you, you barely have to get on your tippy toes to nuzzle his nose against yours with care and the action reminds you of that day at the office, before you fucked up, but the feeling is way different.
This time, your gut tells you that whatever is about to happen with the two of you is something that’s going to linger, that he’s going to stay one way or another and your heart thumps loudly at the thought of having Yunho in your life forever.
Four months ago, the thought would’ve given you a headache.
Now, it heats up your cheeks as his hands return to your face.
“I’m sorry, I had to kiss you. I also should’ve gone after you that night, in my dorm, I— I’m also sorry, Y/N,” he lets go of you softly, putting a step in between the two of you so he can take your hands in his. “I’m sorry I cornered you in the office and I’m sorry I expected you to just… Drop all of your beliefs and convictions for me. That’s the most delusional thing I’ve ever done.”
“It’s okay—”
“But I love you,” he breathes out and you feel like the air it’s been knocked out of your lungs. “I’m a big pretender, you know? I… I try to be as positive as someone can be, I try to be aloof and I ignore a bunch of things in order to let myself be distracted from what my family expects of me, so I couldn’t understand when you didn’t want to do the same. I do now.
“And I don’t let myself enjoy a bunch of things either, Y/N, but I do allow myself little moments of happiness. When I’m with my friends or when I dance, I tend to have those little moments and then I allowed myself to see you in a new light and I… If I thought those two things brought me some sort of respite from my sorrows, I had no idea you of all people could feel like… Like…”
“Home?” You offer, your voice a sweet whisper full of understanding.
“Like home.”
He swallows tightly, averting his eyes to the floor for a second.
“I’m sorry for not returning that call,” he says, his brows creasing a little bit, “I took advice from drunk people in love, so I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you come to me.”
“I was doing the same,” you whisper back, shrugging his worries away. “Letting you come to me, that is. I couldn’t even— I mean, I should’ve given you all of this in person instead of dropping it off like a scaredy cat.”
“You did hear the conversation though?”
“Yeah. Mingi called me a dumbass and I’m not going to forgive him.”
He laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. “He was right, a little bit.”
“He called you dumber,” you return, frowning at his jab even though you know he didn’t intend any ill with it. “So yeah, you could say he was right.”
There’s a few seconds where he just stares: at your hands, twined together with ease and familiarity. At your face, a loving smile lifts the corners of his mouth up before he steps closer again and lets his thumbs trace the curve of your mouth, your cheekbone, your nose.
“I missed you so much, my love.”
Oh.
Fuck.
You warm to the pet name immediately, its significance running through you like a shudder and making you gasp softly, almost imperceptibly. You guess it shows on your expression, the smile on Yunho’s lips widening as his knuckle presses on your cheek gently.
“You liked that I called you that?”
“Shut up.”
“My love,” he repeats, pecking your lips, “I love you. I’ve… I actually don’t know if I’ve loved you this way all this time, but I’m sure I loved you to some degree. I cared— I care about you.”
You tear up again.
That voice that tells you that you don’t deserve him comes back, a distant murmur of it this time, but it’s still there.
For a good reason, too.
“Forgive me for being so horrible to you all these years,” he makes a face, like he can’t believe you’re apologizing for that right now. “I wish I could say I did it because I was a vain, stupid child but it was all very much thought through.”
“I know.”
“And I was horrible. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks now, I—”
His lips press softly against yours again. “Stop it. I was horrible to you too, we were both stupid and childish and we had our reasons.”
“Did we, though?” Your nose scrunches while you truly think about all the times you could’ve been nicer to each other and chose to be mean instead.
His eyes water a little. You frown, fingers tightening around his wrists, you turn to kiss his palm.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just love you a lot,” he sniffs and you catch with your knuckle the tears that roll down his cheeks. He closes his eyes, letting out a breath and untensing his shoulders at the same time. “And it feels so good to be able to say it.”
“When did you figure it out?” Curiosity takes over you for a second, you allow yourself to wonder about it without any guilt now.
He hums, thinking about it with a pout on his lips “Like I said, I think I’ve always loved you to some degree. I just… Didn’t know it. I’ve never loved anyone like this before but I think that when I saw you with Jaemi and my heart felt like it was about to come out of my mouth, I kind of knew.”
“So when I kissed you…”
“I knew,” he nods, “and I should’ve been more insistent when I was trying to talk to you. Go to your house, do something, but I’m… A little inexperienced in this type of stuff.”
“Because you have no bitc—”
You’re already giggling before he interrupts. “And you love me like I am, so now what?”
The smile on your lips is so wide you have to look to the side, focus on the shadow of the chair in the tiny living room space for a second to compose yourself.
It doesn’t really work, because he’s smiling as hard when you turn back to him.
And then, for the first time since he got here, he seems to notice the length of your hair. He brushes it back with his fingers, the strands barely damp now, and gasps when he reaches the tips at your shoulders. “You cut it!”
With a nod, you laugh at his sudden surprise. “I did, I’m about to get disowned.”
“Oh, your mom is going to pass out at the very least.” He agrees right away and you laugh again before he joins, his teeth nipping at his lower lip for a second. “She’ll forgive you, though.”
“You think so?”
“You look too beautiful to stay mad at you for long.”
Oh, your poor heart. You shake your head, diverting the attention from you by brushing the strands of his hair that rest on his forehead back.
“Blond?”
“Kind of, yeah. It’s this… Honey something that my hairdresser suggested.”
Humming, you let your fingernails scratch his scalp gently as they go down, hands resting on his shoulder when you’re done. “They did a great job,” you say before you click your tongue, cocking your head to the side. “Are you sure they weren’t just calling you honey and you misunderstood?”
His brow lifts, the corner of his lips does as well and he’s ducking his head so he can speak in that cocky tone of his you’re so used to. Only this time, there’s an edge to it that sends a shiver down your spine.
“And If they did?”
You know what he’s asking, you know why he’s asking. You find yourself curious about this type of teasing on his behalf, so you allow it to happen.
In your own terms.
“Did it happen?” You return, leaning even closer, hands grasping the lapel of his suit jacket and tugging on it, pretending to smooth it out with your palms afterwards.
“Princess…”
When you look at him, there’s this fiery energy that crosses his expression and it makes your imagination run wild with possibilities.
Now that you both got through the emotional part of your reunion with tears, with overdue confessions and very necessary apologies, what’s left to resolve is this pent up tension that’s always been something more. With the way Yunho behaves sometimes, so proud and tough, you have a vague idea of what it could be like.
And it makes you giddy with anticipation.
You would like to turn your assumptions into facts. So you play dumb, fakely perking up when he calls you, blinking with pretend innocence a few times to sell the act. “Hm?”
Catching the way his jaw ticks at your behavior, you realize that the rush that went through your body every time you got under his skin was not out of the pleasure of winning.
It was because you liked it.
Very much so, that the way his eyes scan over your body like he's deciding what to do with you and your attitude make you let out a tiny puff of air that he drinks right up when he crowds you again, hands on your hips and lips on yours once more.
His mouth doesn't move with any trace of carefulness anymore. Before, you were able to tell he needed to kiss you, longingly, with all the things he couldn't say before on his lips against yours. Now, his tongue makes its way past your teeth and swipes against yours in a way that makes you stumble backwards, almost leaving the tight squeeze of his hands behind.
Yunho catches you, walks with you until you feel the arm of the tiny couch supporting your weight as well.
He leans in a little bit to help you up on it, his body immediately in between your legs, his palms making their way downwards. One is on your lower back, thumb absentmindedly caressing the area, and the other one is pressing right next to your leg on the couch so he can bite your lower lip and give both your lungs a bit of a break before diving into your mouth again. You wrap your arms around his neck and keep him close.
Closer, closer, closer. You need his body pressing against yours as you try to keep up with the intensity of his kisses. You've never been kissed like this before, never with so much love and passion and want and need.
You've been kissed while drunk and touched while high in the past, you've been fucked by people you don't remember the names of and you had dropped the sleeping around once you graduated college.
There's so much of your youth you wish you've done sober. Because now, when his tongue catches a soft moan and his hand moves from your lower back to your leg, under your robe, you don't know why you freak out.
No, you know exactly why.
Breaking the kiss, you take two seconds to look at the plush of Yunho’s lips after being deliciously smothered with yours. You're both breathing hard, chests rising and falling in tandem and gasps for air filling the room.
His hand moves higher, measuring your reaction and you know he's about to ask if it's okay to touch you when you grab his wrist and stop his movements.
“We don't have to—”
“Is not that,” you say right away but you're both speaking over each other.
“I mean, there's a lot we need to talk about. I want you to tell me about your trip and—”
“Sure, we can do that later,” you nod. “Right now, I'm— I mean, let me turn off the light and you can touch me all you want.”
He frowns.
“What?”
Heart picking up for a different reason now, you clear your throat and try to cough the anxiety away. You can talk to him about these things, it's okay. It doesn't really matter how embarrassed you feel once the words come out of your mouth.
“Um, I went up a few pounds while on the trip and— And that's a good thing!” You say when he looks at you like he's about to tell you that it's okay. “I ate whatever I wanted, it was great, really. I just…”
“You did?” He asks in a soft, excited whisper.
“I don't know if you'll, um, i-if you're going to like it.” You finish, blinking the shame away.
Yunho’s expression softens and you take it as an agreement. You've only been touched in the dark, anyways, so you push into his chest a little bit and off his embrace (even if you don't really want to) and start moving towards the only light casting shadows on the room.
Only to be tugged right back by a firm hand on your arm.
With his chest against you and his lips grazing your ear, you can barely help the way you shudder. There's something hard poking your ass and the apparent size of it has you gulping, salivating even.
But you have to turn off the light.
“Come here,” he murmurs and softly moves the both of you to stand in front of the mirror that's next to the entrance.
Even if you tried not to, it's something you've been avoiding the whole time you've stayed here. The mirror is huge, floor to ceiling and its position it's very elegant, very fitting for the purpose of this suit that's supposed to be reserved for people who need different outfits for different events.
You haven't really used it other than quickly checking your clothes earlier today, before leaving to go to the dorm and, even then, it was only a quick ten seconds.
It stings a little that, although you've made progress, your body and the way you perceive it still have such a grip on you. When you add the man your heart desires to the mix? Well, there's little to nothing you can do to let go of your insecurities.
The heat of Yunho's body leaves you for a second and he's turning another light, the one closest to the entrance, adjusting its intensity so the ambiance is not broken by the bright glow of it.
You gulp again when he returns, but melt into his chest when he presses his body against yours again.
How can you feel so comfortable with him but so uncomfortable with yourself? It's weird, it's strangely very you but you can't even tell him that because the intensity of his gaze when you catch it in the mirror shuts you right up.
You know he's telling you to listen to him, to notice how serious he is about this as his chin rests on your shoulder.
“I've called you ugly before, right? I've have actively contributed to your insecurities in a way that I'm not going to forgive myself for, ever,” he starts and the direct approach to it makes you teary eyed all over again. He notices, lips finding your shoulder to comfort you. “The thing is, Y/N, that I never actually meant it. I think I was pissed off because you were— and are so fucking beautiful.”
You close your eyes and let out a pleading sigh “Yunho…”
“No,” he says and you feel how he shakes his head, his chin still on your shoulder. “Someone needs to tell you this. You live in your head way too much.”
He understands.
You love him so much.
“Open your eyes, princess.”
You do.
“Look at yourself.”
You don't. You look at him instead.
He's staring at you through the mirror and he straightens his back to rest his cheek against your temple, the height difference at his advantage because, this way you have to look up at him and it will give away the pure rejection you have for your reflection.
“I don't think I've ever found someone as beautiful as I found you. When I realized that, that was what pissed me off… Well, I think I somehow buried the thought away but you are so breathtakingly pretty, Y/N.” He takes in a breath and you lose yours, his hand resting on your hip going up and tracing the curve of your waist. “But it doesn't really matter what I think, it matters what you think, hm?”
Turning his head, his nose presses against your skin now and he leans in, nuzzling softly, with care, until his lips peck your jaw.
“I can assure you that you can go up a hundred pounds, go down, up again and I wouldn't care. It doesn't matter, I have found you beautiful in every version that you have presented yourself in and I will find you beautiful if you change your whole appearance everyday. I love you,” he reminds you, “and I love everything that you bring along with you. Insecurities, panic attacks and clever insults to my clothing included.”
The chuckle that you let out makes him smile against your cheek and he gives you a little peck before putting some space between your face and his. He looks you up and down in the mirror again and you can see genuine want in the way his pupils dilate. You see it happening in real time but then you also see his self-restraint.
You're at a loss for words, but manage to mumble out “Thank you, Yunho.” And then you turn your head, catching his lips in a soft closed mouth kiss that he returns right away.
“Whenever you're ready to let me prove how beautiful I find you, I'll be here.” He says when you let his mouth move away from yours, your lips softly pecking his jaw instead and getting a sigh in return. “I can wait.”
Then, the worst thing happens: His hands leave your body and he starts to step away.
It's a little embarrassing how quickly your entire being protests and you realize that there's a clinginess to you that you're not so sure where it came from. You reach for him, barely turning, and tug him right where he was.
Looking at him through the mirror again, you enjoy the genuine surprise on his expression and the way it turns into desire when you put his hands on you again: on your stomach, on your hip.
When you turn your head to look at him directly, his eyes stay fixated on the reflection. His hand on your stomach turns, knuckles softly caressing you. You want to ask him what he likes about that but don't, instead, you tell him what goes on inside your head.
“Yunho, I do want you. I want you… But I also want to make sure that you like me.”
He looks at you then, mouth ready to reassure you again but you shake your head to shut him up.
“I heard you,” you confirm, smiling a bit and then closing your eyes at the visage that accompanies the concept of your body in your mind. You know it's far from what it actually looks like but that also means that you don't know exactly what it looks like and that's terrifying. “I know you love me but would you like me?”
“I do,” you hear the frown in his voice and take a deep breath before opening your eyes again. “Princess, do you trust me?”
You nod without a second thought and he leans in, nose almost touching yours.
“Would you let me show you how much I like you?”
It takes a second or two, but you nod again.
“And would you let me know if it's too much?”
“Yes,” you breath out, too intoxicated by the closeness, by the way his lips softly trace yours without actually kissing them to think about the implication of his words.
When he pulls away again, you let out a sound that gives away how much you want him. Yunho’s lips curve and when your eyes finally focus on his again, you can see the quick decision he makes as he looks at the mirror again, resolve and purpose in his expression as he takes off the jacket of his three piece, tossing it on the sofa.
There's something magnetic in the way he rolls his sleeves up, securing them in his forearms and your eyes follow the motions and trace the veins that you're able to see before he turns away from you.
He takes one of the chairs he's able to easily mov, placing it behind you both. You realize you've walked a few steps closer to the mirror, and so your back is pressed against it when his attention returns to you, when he takes your face with his hands and crushes his lips against yours without explaining what he just did.
You brace himself on his forearms, nails pressing on his skin because somehow this kiss feels different. Its pace is not hard to keep up with but it feels like you are, the care he puts in his movements as his palms brush your hair back slowly and then go down, down until they're reaching the knot that keeps your robe closed.
This time, instead of panic, you feel your stomach flutter. Butterflies all over, there's goosebumps on your skin when he tugs the robe open and feels the satin of your pajamas with his fingers. He makes a noise and, at first, you think it's out of protest because you're not already undressed for him.
But then his knuckles trace the hem of the nightgown and he makes the noise again, tongue flicking against yours harder, getting a moan out of you.
Yunho’s lips find your cheek, your jaw, nipping at the skin of your neck and over your pulse when he gets to it and you close your eyes, head falling against the mirror and head moving to the side so he can kiss every inch of skin if he wants.
“You smell so fucking good.”
That makes you smile, a droopy curve to your lips before you bite a sound back “I showered.”
“You always do,” he whispers into your skin, lips finding your ear. “You always have. Do you know how many times I had to control myself around you?”
“Hm,” you muse, pretending to think about it. “Do you know how many times you had to?”
“Oh, trust me princess, I know.”
He pulls back and you open your eyes. You wonder if yours are carrying the same intensity as his when they go down your body, taking your sleepwear in.
It's a simple blue v-neck slip dress with some floral lace at the trim lines. It splits on the sides and falls mid-thigh. Something very basic in your opinion, but you don't miss the way his eyes are glued to the skin of your thigh. You're not wearing a bra and your nipples are painfully hard.
“I didn't actually expect you to come to me tonight,” you lie a little, lips turning up into a shy smile. “So I didn't—”
“Is this what you wear to sleep?” He interrupts and you watch him gulp.
“Mhm.”
“Every night?”
“Something like this,” you tug at the fabric, softly, “yes.”
“Fuck.”
You giggle in return at how affected he seems, but the amusement dies when his eyes return to yours. Holding your hand, he takes a step back and then another and another until he's falling with a thump on the chair he brought close.
He takes you in one more time before letting go of your hand and manspreading on the chair “Come here, princess.”
The tone of his voice makes your entire being shake and you take in a breath before following his command. Which is crazy because you never, ever would've followed an order from him.
But now you can't help yourself.
Standing in between his legs, you can see when he holds the arms of it after attempting to touch you as soon as you get close enough for him to be able to reach you and, when you're about to straddle his lap, he shakes his head and clicks his tongue in response.
You understand what he wants immediately and you turn around, watching your reflection in the mirror as you sit down on his legs that he managed to close again in the three seconds it took you to do so.
You're breathing hard by the time he accommodates you both on the chair, his very clear erection pressing against your ass and lower back and making you dizzy at what you're looking at.
The image on the mirror is clear, it allows you to see both your reaction and his reaction when you fidget without thinking about it on his lap and the friction it causes brings you a whisper of pleasure.
“You're a dream, Y/N,” he says and you can tell it came out of his mouth without really thinking about it. Finally, he moves his hands and his nails press on the skin of your shoulders, goosebumps evident and tremor barely concealable when he drags them down the length of your arm and over your hands that rest on top of your knees.
He covers them with his and you stop following his movements in the mirror to look at his face “Can I?”
You swallow and then nod and he giggles, this hard facade he has on slipping as he presses a reassuring kiss to your shoulder “Can you say it, my love?”
“Yes,” you say quickly, your voice betraying you “Please.”
He closes his eyes, a curse under his breath. “Don't beg me, princess, I got you.”
You can't help but be curious and, although this is something you can find out as the night goes on, you end up wondering out loud either way: “Why? You don't like it?”
He shakes his head, that hardness in his expression returns when he opens his eyes to look at you and the curious glint of your expression through the mirror.
“Do you enjoy it when I beg you, Yunho?”
And then you slightly move on his lap, trying to pass it like an absentminded movement.
He sees right through it and the realization shows on his face.
“Ah,” he laughs, back falling against the chair and head lolling back, “are you going to be a brat, princess?”
Your mouth quirks at the quick and accurate read he gives your attitude.
“Of course you are.”
Again, the bravery your amusement gives you is short lived. He uses his hands over yours to open your legs and his, fast, earning a surprised squeak out of you. Your first instinct is attempting to close them but he huffs and perches your legs on his. You loop your feet around them to avoid falling forward at the lack of things to hold on to.
This way, your panties are on full display as well. They're simple cotton white panties and there's a wet patch in the middle of them that grows a little at the display, at the image you see in the mirror.
Yunho curses under his breath again.
“You're my dream,” he says, a little bit distracted again and then he remembers himself. “I don't like people begging me, I don't give them the time to.”
Raising your eyebrows, you're about to protest because you don't want to hear about his encounters with anyone else, but he won't let you.
“One time, I almost had a fight with a friend over teasing. You know her, Mingi's girlfriend,” he says and you don't know if he's smiling at the memory or at the way you squirm under his touch when his fingernails start dragging over the skin of your inner thighs slowly. “I told her the truth: I'm too impatient to tease. She said it's necessary, I said I never needed to tease anyone to get with them and it went on for almost an hour.”
He reaches the plush that has formed on your inner thighs and you can physically feel your centre growing wetter.
“I never got it,” he insists and, when he pretends that he's going to touch you where you need it the most only for his touch to go back down the expanse of your thighs, you let out dissatisfied huff. “Now I think I do.”
“Yunho…”
“You wanted to beg?” He asks, mouth against your ear and hot breath on your cheek. “I can make you beg.”
You give in almost immediately.
“Please,” tongue wetting your lips, you attempt to move in order to get some sort of relief but he's quicker than you. Strong hands hold your hips steady and you puff out some air again. “Please touch me.”
It's clear the whine on your voice affects him because he pants against your cheek, nudges your face with his nose and then dives with his lips to kiss your neck again.
“Be still, princess.” He commands and you stop trying to wiggle against him, only to rest your back against his chest when he brings his hands down in a caress and holds you fully open for him again. “I got you, but do as I say.”
He takes your nod as an answer this time and his lips travel down your neck, to the skin of your back and then your shoulder. You watch in the mirror as his teeth catch the strap of your nightgown and, when he speaks again, it's a little muffled because of it.
“Can I take this off you?”
You take a breath before replying “Yes.”
And then he slips the strap off your shoulder with his teeth and you swear you're ruined for everyone else entirely.
There's no way anyone is going to make you tremble like he did just now.
He goes ahead and does the same to the other strap, hand quick in catching the gown from falling completely.
“Should I?”
“Yunho… Stop teasing me.”
He chuckles and takes his time to redo what he just undone: he pulls the strap on your left shoulder up again, switches the hand that's holding your second to last piece of clothing up, and does the same to the other strap.
“But you look so pretty in it.”
Your skin heats up harder than ever before.
“You look so pretty like this, all breathless and ready for me to touch you… Do you know how happy it makes me that I can touch you, princess? That you’re in my lap and not in my head?”
You swallow back a whine “Y-you thought about me like this?”
“I dreamed about you like this,” he kisses the nape of your neck and then focuses his attention on the shoulder he neglected before, “for months.”
You hum in acknowledgement at his words, but your mind is elsewhere because his hands return to their ministrations on your inner thighs and it's hard to concentrate on anything else but the pad of his thumbs ghosting over your panties as they move.
He finally concedes and lets his hands wander upwards until they get ahold of the hem of the nightgown and, in one swift movement, you're left in nothing but your underwear in front of him.
Well, in front of the mirror. He's watching the reflection of your body carefully and you can barely spare a look at it, breath caught in your throat at his reaction.
When he sees your naked torso, he fully lets out a moan.
You feel slick rush out of you at the sound but don't turn to yourself to verify what exactly about you made him react that way, made him get even harder against your ass.
“God, look at you.”
Breathing hard, you turn your head slightly so that your nose touches his and you think he's about to drop it, give in and kiss you when you feel his thumb and index pressing against your cheek, turning your head to the reflection again.
“Is this okay?”
You know he's referring to the hold on your face and you mumble out a yes, still looking at him through the mirror.
“I said, look at yourself.”
You do.
Legs open and still perched on top of his, white panties turning a little see through due to your arousement and nipples pebbled in full display, you allow yourself to enjoy the two seconds of clarity before your body starts to shape shift in your head, before your thoughts turn you undesirable and before you fall into your dysmorphia.
Yunho is right there to catch you, though.
“Do you know how lucky I am that you're even allowing me to see you like this, Y/N?”
The hold on your face relaxes and you follow the movement of his hand, down until it settles on your throat, relaxed, not even putting any pressure.
“Still okay?”
You nod.
He puts in slight pressure now and, when you moan, he chuckles but doesn't say anything to acknowledge what makes him laugh. Instead, his hand keeps descending until his fingers rests in between your breasts and then he softly cups one of them, thumb passing over your nipple and making you jump at the sudden contact before letting go.
“So fucking pretty. You see this?” His fingers take hold of the skin of your tummy that connects with the curve of your waist and he pinches slightly, making you squirm and tickling you a bit. “Everything you are, everything you have makes my heart beat,” he kisses your shoulder again, “and my dick hard,” and again, “and makes me want to prove to you that there's no one in this world that can come close to you, not in my eyes, my love.”
Oh, my God.
He says it in a way that makes you want to believe him. And, deep down, you know you do.
Even though it's complicated, even though it takes effort to make years and years of self-loathing disappear, you know you can try.
Because you desperately yearn to see yourself from Yunho's point of view.
This time, when you turn to kiss him, he doesn't put up any restraint. His dominant mask slips off of him for just a second when you grab his face, pliant mouth moving at the rhythm and pace yours is marking, a whine getting muffled with your tongue.
He gives your legs rest, closing his legs (and, in consequence, yours as well) and, when you tug at his hair so you can mark his neck down at the weird position you're in, he groans and you want to smile but he's searching your lips before you can even leave a bruise on his skin.
“I love you, I love the way you think about me, I love what you make me want to think about me,” you assure him when you pull back to look at him. His cheeks are red and his lips are swollen and you love the way they're parted as he recovers his breath.
“Lesson learned?”
“Mhm,” you kiss his lips again and take the hand resting your waist, bringing it down to your clothed sex so he can feel how wet you are “now please, would you touch me?”
“Fuck, you really do love to beg, hm?” He says and it's breathy, like he can't actually believe, and he doesn't give you time to respond because he's already kissing you again. “Let's go to bed.”
“W-wait.”
“Yeah?”
The way you glance at the mirror is a dead giveaway of what you truly want. It makes him take in a sharp breath and grab your face in between his hands, fascination written all over his expression.
“Do you want to watch when I touch you?”
You breathe out a moan in response.
“You want to watch yourself while I make you come?”
A little shy but with resolve, you nod.
He curses.
Next thing you know, your legs are perched over his again and they’re wide open. Your arms fly back to hold onto him, onto anything that helps you not fall on your face but then his perfect, veiny hand presses on your torso and you fall back comfortably into his embrace again.
He wastes no time, lips marking a path from your shoulder to your neck and fingers ghosting your clit over your panties and you whimper, impatience making you move against his crotch and making him grunt at the friction.
“I k-know you just s-said you just discovered the joy of t-teasing but can you please do somet— Fuck!”
His thumb presses on your bundle of nerves over the cotton and you can’t help but shake.
It has been a while since you’ve even touched yourself truly, with want and need behind. It’s been a while since someone else touched you there, period, so the sensation feels new and you kind of feel like an overly inexperienced woman with the way you can’t help the immediate build up when he starts moving his thumb.
It’s electric and you notice that your eyes closed the second he touched you, so you remember yourself. You remember what you asked for, what you actually want to see.
When you open them again and look at Yunho, you find him already looking at you. His parted lips turn into a proud smile when he catches your eye and he nods, kisses trailing up to your ear, teeth nipping at the skin.
“Good girl.”
Fuck.
He stops his movements to let his index, middle and ring finger cup your sex entirely, press into the fabric and let it soak with your arousal. You see in the mirror and you watch, with fascination, how he manages to twist the cotton to the side and expose your pussy for you both to see with the same hand.
“You’re so wet, princess, I bet you taste so good…”
Your brain short circuits and malfunctions when he finally touches you without anything in between his skin and yours. His index reaches out and collects the evidence of how much
you want him, of how much you want him and you moan when the fabric snaps against your pussy when he lets go of it.
“Do you?”
He toys with the stickiness on with his fingers, rubs it in between them and then brings his hand up so you’re able to see it without the mirror’s help.
“Look at me,” you do, obedient, “and open up.”
You open your mouth and allow his fingers to get in and rest against your tongue. You suck out of instinct, eyes never leaving his, and he gulps as he watches you taste yourself until your arousal transfers from his fingers to your tongue.
“Let me taste it now.”
Licking into his mouth, the fingers that were previously on yours settle on your throat, not allowing you to fully lean in and kiss him like you want but, instead, letting him have control of it.
You swear you see stars when he sucks his tongue into his mouth and he hums, pleased with the taste.
“You taste so fucking good.”
Letting you go, you’re breathing hard when he pushes you a bit to put some distance between the both of you.
“Get up and take these off.” He snaps the elastic of your panties and the sting against your skin makes you whine.
You can’t think, can’t speak, can’t do anything but wait for him to lead your actions and the consensual loss of control feels so freeing that it makes you dizzy. So you oblige, getting off his lap and allowing him to turn you around so that your ass faces the mirror. When you look at him, he’s looking at the reflection and not you, so you decide, with a boost of confidence because of the hunger in his eyes, to give him a little show.
You bend over, forehead almost touching his chest and proceed to take off your underwear that way. You open your legs a little, giving him a clear view of it when the fabric falls from your legs and pools at your ankles and, when you twist your head to the side to look at his reaction, his tongue is out and licking his bottom lip like he’s starving for it.
For the first time ever, you feel both sexy and desired at the same time.
He reaches for your ass in a way you’re not so sure it’s calculated and you fall fully into his chest with a soft moan when he opens you up for him even more.
“So hot,” he says, low, under his breath, like he’s not even thinking before he speaks and he lets his fingernails drag on your skin (something you’re learning he enjoys doing and that you also like, a lot) until his hands fall to his knees again. “Fuck.”
He still hasn’t even touched you properly and you already feel drunk on his touch. You feel that way, at least, when you prop your hands against his chest and push yourself up. He turns you around quickly, sits you on his lap with your legs open again and sighs.
“I’m not going to make you beg for it anymore when all I want to do is watch you come, princess.”
Arm around your middle, he presses you flush against his chest and takes your right hand in his. It allows you to let go of the grasp you have on him a little and, when he guides your own fingers to your pussy, you get why.
“Show me how you like it.”
You feel lewd, exposed and dirty in a way you never thought you would enjoy. But here you are, craving
“Yunho…”
“Show me,” he insists, “so I can learn.”
Isn’t it a little bit funny that he sounds like he’s the one begging you when he speaks?
You show him. Starting with collecting a bit of your slick, you drag a finger upwards from your entrance to your clit and then, only when you can see it fully glistening in the mirror, is when you press down and caress it in circular motions that send electricity through you right away.
As you do with everything, this is something that, although you don’t really have time to even think about doing most of the days, you have perfected. There’s a science to it, a method that you’ve discovered via need and lust and that has never been so thoroughly explored than right now.
It’s like you have kept your needs like a nasty little secret inside of your heart, just like you did with your love for Yunho, and you’re letting it all out.
You pick up the pace, alternating from circles to side to side motions and the pleasure quickly becomes overwhelming. Or have you been touching yourself for him for minutes now? Time disappears in every sound you unconsciously let out, it blends with the glint of passion in Yunho’s eyes and it dissolves in an orgasm that quickly takes over you and shakes you forward.
“That’s it,” he mutters with his lips against your temple and his hands holding you steady. “Now’s my turn.”
He replaces his hands with yours, bats your fingers away when you try to prolong your pleasure and takes over at a relentless pace, overstimulating you.
It goes on like that for a minute or so where you shake and you readjust in his lap and you shake again when he bucks your hips and you feel him firm against your ass. You desperately want to help him feel this way, too, but there’s only so much you can do when he teases your entrance with his index and finds you relaxed enough to put it in slowly.
Slowly until it glides in and out smoothly and you hold onto your forearm, and whimper and his name spilling from your lips in bliss when his ring finger joins. You hope you don’t look too delirious, you wish you’re not making a fool of yourself for feeling the heat pool on your lower belly so quickly again.
“Oh, yes, yes, I’m—”
“Don’t look at me or what I’m doing, look at yourself.”
Huh?
“W-what?”
“Watch yourself come,” he reiterates, breathless and, when you disobey and look at him through the reflection, he’s already focused on your face, mouth hanging open and brows furrowed with determination. “I want you to see how beautiful you look coming all over my fingers, Y/N.”
He curves them upwards and the sensation somehow intensifies “Shit.”
“Come, Y/N.”
You’re not sure if you’re able to prove his words to be true. When you come undone, you’re looking at yourself and in the mirror is someone you don’t exactly recognize. Someone you don’t perceive as yourself because, yes, the person staring back at you is beautiful. And that person looks sexy and sensual and is glowing with pleasure written all over their face but they’re not someone you have categorized in your brain as you.
And then you understand. This raw, pure, unfiltered state of you is something you hadn’t reached before. Naturally, you had never seen yourself come. And you hadn’t been handled with so much care through an orgasm before, so you lived it fully and then, only when you stop shaking and your legs fall from his and your feet are on the floor, holding your weight steady, is when you allow yourself to look away from your reflection and turn to the man responsible for the best orgasm of your life.
His lips are quivering, his eyes are closed and his chest rises and falls against your shoulder as he holds you to him.
“You… Jeong Yunho…”
He smiles, probably at the way your voice trembles and gives away just how fucked out you already are, but he doesn’t open his eyes “Yes?”
“My turn.”
When he opens his eyes, you’re already standing up in front of him, his hands shifting on your body, the fingers that just made you see stars leaving a wet trail on your skin before they settle on your stomach.
And, although he seemed tough and dominant just a minute ago, he puts no resistance when you grab his arm and make him stand up as well. You get on your tippy toes to nuzzle his nose with yours and he holds onto you again as you stumble backwards, towards the bedroom.
“You’re too dressed, Jeong.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy me in a dress shirt,” he says, a smug smile in his lips when your back hits a wall and he presses his body to yours, “prepping you to take my coc— F-fuck, princess.”
Your hand teasing his erection over the fabric of his expensive pants is enough to shut him up. Good, you already let him have his fun (and yours, by consequence) and, even if you enjoyed the loss of control, there’s something equal parts rewarding and hot about winning it back with the simple press of your thumb where you believe his leaking tip is.
“You’re too overconfident sometimes, Jeong,” you whisper against his lips and it may be your two amazing orgasms or the way you love to have something over him, a little bit of power at least, that make you overly confident right now as well. He puckers out to kiss you but you don’t budge. “Want to see if you prepped me right?”
It’s a question for consent. You have to make sure he wants you this way, too. That this is fun for him, too. And when he pauses your heart feels like it stops for a second, just like time.
But right after there’s this quiet agreement you both come to and his mouth devours yours as you move in tandem, in coordinated effort to undress him: You loosen his belt and work on the button of his pants while he unbuttons his shirt and both your feet move with synchronized steps until he’s falling on the bed and you’re getting on your knees in front of him.
He, however, stops you with a hand caressing your face softly.
“Later,” he mutters with a soft smile that’s laced with something passionate and lewd you feel you’re about to discover. He leans in, teeth catching your bottom lip and pulling until you’re whining and you taste a little blood on your mouth. “I need to fuck you right now.”
He doesn’t need to tell you twice. You do however make sure to peel his underwear off him while you’re on your knees, the size of him making you wet and ready all over again.
When you stand up, he grabs your tired legs to pull you closer. It feels like a pause in the middle of passionate urgency, but when he takes his time to kiss under your belly button and the expanse of your hips, you feel like it only adds fuel to the fire.
The fact that he’s even taking the time to explore you makes you want to combust.
“Oh.” He bites you right over your hip bone and you take his hair into your fingers, pulling him back. “Y-you said you needed to fuck me?”
“I do,” he laughs against your skin and then leans back, taking him with you and you let him, falling on your side before he pushes you against the mattress, body covering yours and palms touching you all over. “I just enjoy taking my time with you.”
“I can see that, Jeong.”
He’s distracted again within the second, looking down your body and taking you in like it’s the first time he’s seeing you even though he had a clear view of you and your pussy in the mirror five minutes ago.
And there’s this urge that takes over you, you can’t even fight the words that come out your mouth next.
“Make love to me.”
He pauses again and then your words register in his brain, you can see the exact moment they hit him and you think you see him tear up a little before he blinks the deep emotion away to focus on the moment. You have to do the same.
“I will. Every day of my life, if you ask me to, if I’m so lucky to.”
The rest of the night, from the moment he says those words, kisses you and moves you so you’re in the middle of the bed, it all passes in slow motion.
And it all passes really fast, too.
Yunho makes love to you. He enters you while looking into your eyes and whispering how much he loves you against your lips and you say it back. He holds your hand as his hips move and his length drags deliciously inside of you. He marks your chest with his lips and your heart with his love and he closes his hands over yours when his pace picks up and he allows to lose himself in the moment too.
You make love to him as you push him onto his back, his pretty face all flushed, the pink coloring his neck and his chest where you hand rest as you ride him and watch his control slip from him, as you memorize his moans and grunts and as your walls squeeze him in before coming again on his cock and it only takes to firm, hard strides for him to spill himself inside of you as well, the prove of your love making spilling out of you a little when he holds you to his chest and he pulls out of you, both of you sated, both of you in love.
It feels like an hour has passed when someone speaks again, the silence in the room comfortable and accompanied by the beats of both your hearts. In reality, it’s only been around ten minutes where you’ve closed your eyes and breathed the remnants of Yunho’s cologne, cheek pressed against his chest and his fingers drawing random figures on your naked back.
You decide to break the silence when you remember something.
“I think they forgot my room service.”
There’s a pause and then Yunho is laughing loudly and it makes you smile. His chest vibrates and you can see, on your peripheral, how he covers his eyes with his forearm.
“I’m being serious, I ordered like three hours ago.”
“Maybe they knocked and we didn’t hear them,” he mumbles tiredly and you finally look up, chin pressed where your cheek was a second ago. “We were pretty… Busy.”
“That’s worse, Jeong!”
“Why?” He asks, genuinely clueless and then it clicks for him. He brings down his arm and opens his eyes wide with shame. “Oh, my God.”
“Mhm.”
“How are you going to look the receptionist in the eye?”
“She knows me, too. She asked me to take a picture with her when I check out.”
Yunho sighs and says nothing. He looks at you, hand on your back moving until it reaches your face and he lets his knuckles trace your nose in a way that makes you scrunch it.
“I forgot you were famous.”
“We both are,” you w-hisper back, lips forming a thin line as you think. “I mean, if someone leaks that we’re both here, it won’t look weird because we’re supposed to be together.”
“Supposed to?” He frowns.
“Well, yes, to the public at least.”
Yunho pouts.
He pouts and your stomach twists and turns with nerves and butterflies. You’re joking, kind of.
“Are you not my girlfriend, Y/N?”
Oh, he’s adorable. It’s so easy to tease him when you’re both not at each other’s throat.
You wonder if you’ll ever have a fight again, your heart weak for him even when you try to keep the joke going.
“I haven’t been asked to be anyone’s girlfriend…”
The deadpan expression that follows your quip breaks your resolve entirely and you laugh, hiding your face on his chest as he mumbles something you don’t catch.
“What?” You look up at him again.
“I said that you’re annoying and that you are my girlfriend.”
“No, I think you said that you love me.”
There’s something so reassuring in the way the annoyance disappears from his expression and it’s replaced by something sweet and he looks like he can barely fight the words back when he replies with: “Yeah, I do.”
You hum, happy with his response “I thought so.”
Pressing your cheek against his skin again, there’s only two seconds of silence before his hand is on your shoulder and shaking your body.
“Say it back, Y/N.”
“So needy,” you tease and he shakes you again, groaning, so you sigh and pull away from his body to sit up a little. “I love you too.”
He leans into your space, a blissful smile curving his lips before he pecks your mouth in a sweet, short kiss “Good,” he whispers, falling against the pillows and dragging your body with his so that you’re resting against the soft material as well. “When did you come back?”
“A week ago.”
“Hm,” his hands return to your body, fingernails dragging softly up and down your arm, “your family doesn’t know.”
At the mention of them, you close your eyes and squeeze, reality washing over you.
“I’m sure my mother does.”
“She doesn’t,” he assures you, “she would’ve mentioned it by now and she only talks about the project you’re going to lead once you’re back.”
You open your eyes “What project?”
“I’m not sure,” he says softly, “I thought you were already leading one?”
“Something like that,” you nod. “I, um… Was networking in a way, gathering new information on new companies to invest in and help their growth. Small business with original concepts that we can boost or help bring to the city and all of that.”
“Did you have fun on the trip?”
“Yeah,” you answer truthfully, “I did. I met a lot of people, I visited places I never even knew existed, I also learned a lot about myself and about what I want… And I got away from Satan for a while.”
He knows you mean your mom, so he snorts out a laugh and shakes his head at the jab.
“I missed you a lot, though.”
His amusement dies slowly but happiness remains on his face. You’re sure yours is a reflection of his, as well.
“I missed you too,” he answers in a murmur and you nuzzle the hand that reaches your cheek before giving it a kiss. “I’m glad you had fun and it sounds like being away helped but… Never do it again.”
“Oh?” You try to tease but he insists.
“Never leave without telling me again, please,” his whisper sounds like a plea and your heart beats louder. “I’ll miss you too much.”
There’s an impulse, a need that soars through your blood. “I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get away again but, when I do, you can go with me.”
“I will,” he answers right away and at the confirmation that you want him there with you, you see the tension slip away from his features, “my bags are already packed and all.”
“I bet they are,” eyes rolling back in annoyance, you press a palm on his chest and push him a little. “Needy.”
“Shut up.”
There’s a lot of things to talk about. A lot of things you want to tell him, to mention, to bring up and discuss with him. Like what happens after you leave this bubble you’re floating in, if you tell your brother and his right away, if he’s going to tell his friends or wait until you’re a little far along in the friendship to do so.
You have to ask him if he wants to tell your parents like… Ever. You’re not so sure you even want to.
But he shuffles and moves until his naked chest is against yours and his hands are around your body, chin resting on the top of your head as he yawns.
There’s this feeling of calmness that washes over you as you consider that, maybe, this can be the way you fall asleep from now on. No sleeping or sleepless nights, just Yunho’s embrace and his steady breathing above you, the beat of his heart, a lullaby that lulls you until your eyes are closing and tiredness takes over your senses.
This time, you dream about a future together and nothing more.
If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and please remember the next part it's much shorter and would be the end of this mini series!
© jensthwa, 2025.
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I love all your fics sm, could you possibly write reader comforting silco after his lil breakdown in s1ep6?
ngl i feel like I'm Silco in this one and I need a reader to fix me
Because this is a request, I am posting the full text. In one month, it will be converted to an AO3 link, so read it here now while you still can!
Broken
Masterlist | AO3 link
Rating: Mature
Tags: Silco x gn!reader; angst; hurt/comfort; emotional hurt/comfort; established relationship
Word count: 1.1k
Betas: @medic-simp @juniper-sunny
He told you not to come with him. To stay behind in case Jinx returned.
You didn't like what you were seeing—the way he was starting to unravel at the ends, his perfectly manicured facade crumbling with each hour his daughter was missing. You had this feeling in your gut that it was all about to go sideways, that something awful was going to happen.
But you couldn't stop him.
So you stayed in his office, sitting in his chair and staring out the large circular window. Watching his figure striding with purpose on the streets below to disappear from your view.
Maybe you were wrong.
Maybe he would find her and bring her back home.
Maybe everything was going to be okay.
But you couldn't shake the feeling.
That this was the beginning of the end.
There's a steady thumping sound as your heel taps along the hardwood, knee bouncing erratically as you wait.
Sure, you have things you could be tending to, but your mind is elsewhere—it’s with Silco.
Will he find her?
What will happen if he does?
You could tell by how he had spoken of her recently that his grasp on her was slipping away, her attention instead on the sister she thought dead for years. Despite raising Jinx as his own, Silco could not fight the bond shared by blood—and it was driving him mad.
You don't move from your perch for a full hour. And even then, you only rise to your feet to pace the empty office, one arm barred across your stomach as the other crosses your chest, your front teeth making short, quick clicking sounds against the tip of your thumbnail.
A nervous habit.
One Silco hated.
But he's not here to tell you to stop.
So you keep doing it.
Waiting.
Mealtime comes and goes without any change. Your stomach protests, but you ignore it. You've taken to searching Silco's desk, hands frantically rummaging through his things to see if there could be any clue as to where his daughter had disappeared to.
None of her old drawings give you any answers, a tidy pile of them in his bottommost desk drawer. And no amount of rifling through the contents of the safe (the one hidden behind the painting whose sole keepers are Silco and you) lead to any revelations.
You’re moments away from leaving to check Jinx’s workshop when the door to the office opens. Not with a bang, but with a slow, drawn-out creak.
You have one sleeve of your coat on when you look up to see Silco's figure standing in the doorway. His hair is a matted mess against his forehead, his makeup smeared with sweat, revealing the decaying, grey skin around his corrupted eye. There's dust and grime all along his coat, vest, and pants, and blood on his gold-toed boots.
“What happened?” you gasp, ditching your coat to the couchback in favor of running toward him. “Are you okay?”
He ignores you, shuffling past you. When he flops himself onto the red velvet cushions, puffs of dirt dance in the air to settle around him. Staring ahead of him, he seems devoid of light; you could almost swear that the glow of his volcanic orange eye seems dimmer.
“Silco…” you whisper, crouching to get eye-level with him.
He looks through you, the iris of his ruined eye drifting almost lazily, with none of the vigor you've come to know.
You take both of his hands in yours, resting them on his lap as you study him. There's a tapestry of textures along his skin, dirt and grime and shimmer and blood. You squeeze his hands as your lips press together, waiting.
You never know what Silco you're going to get: the loud, snarling, erratic beast, all roars and teeth; or the silent, fuming, cold statue, impossible to read and even more impossible to crack. You've seen every side of this man, every emotion, every reaction.
But still, sometimes, you struggle to know how to handle him. How to help him.
It took you many years and many fights to realize that, most times, he simply wants you to listen.
So you wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Your knees are sore from where they dig into the rug, both your feet fallen asleep long ago. But you stay rooted to the spot, resolutely, dutifully holding his hands as he stares straight ahead. You wonder what thoughts are swirling in that head of his, what calculations he's running, what strategies he's testing and retesting.
After what feels like forever, he finally speaks.
“She's gone.”
You bite your tongue, allowing him to talk.
“I've lost her.” His voice feels so far away despite being right in front of you. A ghost of a whisper. A light, almost imperceptible breeze. “And I don't know if I can get her back.”
At last, his eyes move. They almost seem to stutter as they cast slowly—so slowly—down to meet your gaze. And when they lock with your eyes, you have to hold back a small whimper from escaping your lips.
Broken.
He looks so broken.
You've never seen him this bad before. In all your years—first under his employ, then as his partner—he’s never been this far gone. You could always count on a small, stubborn spark behind his eyes.
But that little flame is gone.
Replaced with deep obsidian, heavy and impenetrable.
“Oh, Silco…” you whisper, bringing one hand up to cradle his scarred cheek.
Your touch breaks him further, cracking the dam of his resolve.
His good eye squeezes shut and his hands come up to his head, fingers tangling in his hair as he doubles over.
He doesn't cry—you’ve never seen him cry. Instead, he tugs at his hair, his hands shaking and his breath quickening. His whole torso seems to almost vibrate with how he shakes under the massive weight of his grief.
You rise to your feet, a soft reassuring hum at your throat as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him toward yourself. The crown of his head presses to your stomach and he feels stiff in your arms, awkward and unresponsive. Rubbing circles into his back, you make soft cooing sounds as you try to calm him down, feeling so helpless.
“It's okay,” you whisper. “I've got you.”
Finally, he releases his hold on the graying tendrils of hair, his head pressing against you earnestly as he wraps both arms around your middle tightly. You return the embrace, your eyes squeezing shut as a tear escapes them.
How you wish you could take this grief from him, endure it for him. You would suffer this pain tenfold if it meant he didn't have to.
But as you hold him in your arms, you know this is something he must overcome himself.
And when you feel warmth against your stomach—a faint dampness to the fabric of your shirt—you wonder if you'll ever be able to bring back that spark.
Taglist: @averagecrastinator @mazikomo @writingmysanity @insult-2-injury @constantfragmentation @ariaud @jennrosefx @steponmesilco @leave-me-alone-silco @whatisafandom @violet-19999 @juicboxd @you-never-talk @noposwe @toripandashady @sirenofzaun @22carolina08 @roxnpens @commanderblood @medic-simp @cthezaunite @verdant-onyx @ursawastricked @artwithvivien @edlix @lackofhonor @spoczkot @witchypandamonium @lotus-99 @robin-the-enby @blissfulip @all-that-we-hope-to-be @zaunite-leo @silvia-elaine-hestia @nyx2021 @cccandynecklaces @another-batkid @toogaytofunctiondangit @rinkatai @mollymauksboi @pinklunarprincess | @mutedwordz @fly-like-egyptian-musk @jennithejester @witheringblooddemon @ladymer @redlovett
#silcoitus#silcoitus writing#arcane silco#silco#silco x you#silco x reader#silco fanfic#x reader#reader x character#reader insert#canon x self insert#canon x reader#arcane#arcane fanfic#arcane x reader#silcoitus answers
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boy-toy
nico rosberg
request: 11,72,83 with a sub!Nico rosberg maybe 11. “i didn’t know you were so sensitive.” + 72. “ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. that's cute.” + “how quickly can you cum?”
tags: smut/pwp, sub!nico (this is my first time writing nico), dom!reader, overstimulation, teasing, cowgirl position, established relationship/marriage, dirty talk & praise, body worship, sex toys, edging
eros (the valentine's day collection)
saturday night meant many things. to most it meant fun at the club, or kicking back with drinks with friends. but saturday night, after the kids were in bed. it meant a nice bottle of wine and to sate one request from your loving husband.
it was agreement started in your early days of a relationship. you could sense the tension of the shoulders of your then boyfriend. racing were like pounds of cement on his shoulders. so on saturday nights, you'd explore one sexual desire of him before he was all smiles and victories the following day.
you quickly learned one thing, nico rosberg was a total sub.
the kids were away for the weekend, they were visiting your parents. and you could tell that nico was becoming more on edge the later in the evening it got.
"do you want more wine, nico?" you asked as you sat on the couch with him after dinner. you reached out and pushed back some of his blond hair, "maybe not a good idea, you already seem quite flustered."
he swallowed, his face bright pink. it was cute. you rubbed his warm cheek and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead softly. it was delicate like butterfly wings. but you could already see him struggling to compose himself.
"nico." you said as you leaned up into his ear, "you didn't break the rules now did you?"
he swallowed, "no, ma'am. not at all." weekends alone meant that mrs. rosberg got to play with her favourite submissive per his request. that was his sexual need for the weekend, to have the love of his life sexually pick him apart until his head was left spinning.
you placed a hand on his inner thigh and smiled close to his ear, “ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. that's cute. you haven't even begged once this whole evening." you looked to the clock in the kitchen to check the time, "and we've been going at this for a few hours now."
"it feels good." he said then swallowed, "thank you."
you placed a hand over the front of his jeans and chuckled lightly. you pulled away and looked at where your palm was. you could the pain of his erection. you could also feel the buzz of the toy that was carefully taped to the side of his cock. if you listened closely you could hear the vibrations too.
"please, honey."
you shushed him and then said, "i didn’t know you were so sensitive. you look like you're about to lose it. do you want it, nico? are you my good boy?"
he cursed under his breath before he waited for you to kiss him. the toy vibrated against his hard cock. he had to sit through all of dinner like that. he watched you from across the dinner table and could feel his resolve slipping. you giggled as you kissed him. he eagerly kissed you back, but kept his hands to himself.
rules of the game; if he touched you, he'd be tied up.
"someone likes that. fuck, you're so cute when you're whiny." you remarked with lust in your tone, "you sound so pretty when you whimper." you chuckled lowly, "imagine if sky news saw this, if anyone else saw this. how eager you are."
he swallowed, "fuck, honey." he shifted on his spot on the couch. and then like a blessing, he was able to relax as you took his achy cock out of his jeans and placed a delicate hand on it.
the mixture of the painful buzz of the toy and the softness of your grasp made his thoughts feel muddled, swamped with heated pleasure that he couldn't put a start or an end to. it was like tangled up wires that all made his cock feel heavy between his legs.
bead of pre-cum dripped down the side of his cock, opposite to the bullet vibrator. it was held to his cock with medical tape. you saw him tense up and hold your knees tighter. it was very cute.
he looked adorable flustered and needy for sex. and well, maybe you were a bleeding heart, but you couldn't deny your husband forever. you traced loose patterns across his cock and watched him tense up.
as you did so, you whispered sweetness into his ear, "oh such a good boy." your voice struck to his core and made him whimper. "you sound so beautiful, nico. only the sweetest noises for me, right?"
"only for you, ma'am." he groaned as the pleasure coursed through him. it was intense notion through his body made him only made him more needy for you.
you kissed him once more before you stopped the vibrations of the toy. it allowed nico to relax but his cock was still painfully hard. you took off the tape and tossed the toy to the side.
your husband watched you, not moving an inch as you got your skirt off and tossed your panties over the couch before you got into his lap. you spread your hands across his chest and admired his figure before you licked lips. his lust filled gazed looked to you, "ma'am."
"shh." you said, "let's see, how quickly can you cum?”
you soon sat yourself on his cock and he tilted his head back. he let out a sweet moan and you placed his hands on your hips. there was no need for him to rip holes in your expensive leather couch from his tight his grip would be. you admired him, eyed his features as you moved against him.
"you look beautiful." you said softly, "i get why you had so many fans while racing." you giggled softly as you slowly moved your hips, "even had a few drivers falling over themselves for you." you kissed his cheek, both hands on his face, "but yet, you only whimper for me. aren't i lucky?" you moved up and down on his cock. you held onto his shoulders for support as you moved against him.
"fuck, honey."
you chuckled, he was near speechless. but then again you had been edging and teasing him for hours now. he'd be a little sensitive. but you made it up to him in kisses as your hips moved against him.
he held onto you and let you control the pace. his breathing was heavy. he looked at you once more and said, "i love you."
"and i love you, nico. more than words could ever describe. you're always a good boy for me. you're an amazing husband and father to our kids. perfect from the moment i met you." you continued to move up and down his cock. the shudder raced through him as pleasure built between you two.
you had been together for a good while now. built each other up and loved one another. you knew his deepest desires and he knew yours. it was how it had been able to work this long, knowing everything about the other.that also included how nico liked the be toyed with in the bedroom.
how he loved your body, he loved everything about you. even after all this time and two children later. you were totally his and he was totally yours. he deeply exhaled, "you're beautiful. all of you is so beautiful. even after all the time, you look perfect to me."
you smiled and kissed him on the lips once more. your back quickened and the sparks of pleasure made you heart flutter. it was painfully arousing, needy in away that made your toes curl.
"and you're perfect too, nico." you praised. your words made his heart sing as he let you give him all the pleasure you could give. he held onto your hips and you bounced yourself on his cock.
his eyes were half-lidded and his breathing was heavy. it was steamy, after a nice evening in, you were getting the pleasure the both of you both desired. it was hard to be intimate with two young children, but you both made the best of it.
it was why nights like tonight were so special.
"touch me, nico. be a good for me, i want to feel your hands on me." and then you moaned a little louder when his hands explores your semi-clothed body. you could have both gotten naked and gone to the bedroom. but the need to be sexually close overtook everything.
he moaned and you silenced him with another searing kiss. you both felt close, he held onto you tightly at your middle and let you kiss him deeply. with a few more strokes of your hips, he finally hit his climax and finished inside of you.
you moaned and continued to move. eager for your own climax. you broke the kiss as he came and you looked into his eyes with absolute affection. you smiled lazily at him and said, "good boy. cum for me." and watched him slump against the couch. an evening affair had come to a head.
you didn't last much longer. you came around his cock with a hearty moan. you tensed up before you relaxed against his chest. you held onto him tightly as you came. you said sweet praises and eventually kissed him on the lips once more.
it was hot and you felt the rush all over. the two of you lazily kissed for a moment. when you pulled away you looked into his eyes and smiled. you said, "my good boy... now, let's get you to the bedroom and get you comfortable for the evening."
he held onto you a little tighter and asked in a lust ridden voice, "actually, ma'am... can i have you again?" and you knew you weren't going to deny you good boy, nico <3
#bunny writes#reader insert#formula 1#formula one imagine#formula one smut#f1 smut#formula one fanfiction#f1 x reader#formula one#nico rosberg#nico rosberg x reader#nico rosberg x you#nico rosberg smut#nr6#nr6 x reader#nr6 smut
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A Little Help
Mom's Girlfriend!Natasha Romanoff x Innocent Daughter!Female Reader
Tags/warnings: +18 AMAB Natasha, top!Nat, bottom!r, blowjob, handjob, cum swallowing (r), petnames, cheating (r has no idea about the extent of the actions she did)
In which you started helping the girlfriend of your mother.
࣪𓏲ּ ♰ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃
"Baby, mom's gonna be on a business trip for two weeks. Don't worry, Dada will be there for you. Help her with what she needs, okay baby? And help her with what needs to be done at home, don't give her a hard time. I love you, moonpie."
That's what your mom told you, it was actually a voice message she left you when she tried to call you from the airport since you were sleeping when she left. You typed something telling her to take care and go shopping for you, then, you fixed your bed and changed your sleeping clothes to go downstairs where the live-in girlfriend of your mom has been waiting.
"Hi Da." It was a nickname your mom made to call Natasha and you have been used to calling her the same. Daddy your mom always teases her, then it turns to something more domestically sweet—Dada.
"Hi, princess. I already had my breakfast. But I prepared yours."
"Thank you," you tiptoed your way to your dining seat and started eating the food Natasha made you.
Natasha excused herself in the bathroom, there's something she cannot handle lately every time you were around. Wearing thin tops, painfully short shorts that are barely covering your ass and stretch marks on your upper thighs that she found cute and hot.
She let out a shaky breath before slipping her hand on her boxers, pulling her length and started rubbing it. It was so wrong to have such perverted thoughts on the daughter of the woman she has a relationship with but she can't help it now, besides, your mother isn't there to help her with what she needs, she actually barely helped her.
"F-fuck…" Natasha was sweating in guilt as she continued to rub her cock.
You placed your plates in the sink, ready to clean them together with the dishes that were left. But you heard some sounds in the bathroom where Natasha excused herself, it was a loud breathing, a shaky one. When you tried to take a peek, you saw half of her body, her right hand working on something between her legs.
You can hear her loud and clear now, she sounded in pain.
"Help her with what she needs, okay baby?"
"Natty?" You called, you didn't entirely step inside the bathroom not wanting to invade her space. Natasha jolted, pulling the shower curtains so whatever she's doing will be hidden—you already, innocently invaded her space and you already saw what she was doing.
"Honey, wh-what are you doing here? Are you done eating?" Natasha asked in a hurry, her mind making up excuses in case you ask what she was doing.
"Y-yeah…" you muttered, "are you okay? You sounded in pain."
"What? N-no, sweetheart. I am fine alright?" Natasha's hand never left the curtain, pushing it towards the wall, her cock still springing out but long forgotten.
"Can I help you out?"
God, the way she wanted your hands and mouth to ease her pain right now. Natasha cursed herself, this is so wrong. Before she could even tell you to go wash the dishes you were already pushing the other end of the curtains.
"F-fu—please go, Y/N." She did not look at you but you walked to her side.
"Where do you need help?" You innocently asked. "Is it hurting?" You pointed at her length, taking note of the liquid that is coming out on the tip of it.
"Please…" She mumbled, she could feel her heart jumping inside her ribs.
"How do I do it?" You innocently asked as you slowly kneel in front of her. Your small hand took a hold of her cock, slowly stroking it. You giggled when you felt it slightly twitch on your hand.
Your innocence is already making Natasha damn hard, but you actually touching her would definitely make her cum anytime soon. You watched with your mouth agape as you stroke Natasha's cock with your right hand, her moans and the slick sounds of her wet cock was filling the bathroom. You didn't know if you were doing it right but Natasha continuously saying "Just like that" reassures you that you are helping her just right.
"You're so good baby…yes."
You watched the tip of it taunting you to suck it, that's what your intrusive thoughts were telling you as well and it won. Natasha let out a loud moan when she felt something wet and soft swirling on the tip of her cock when she looked down at you, your mouth is already trying to swallow her entire length.
"Fu-fuck, baby." She groaned. "Gonna cum!" Her hand instinctively went grab a handful of your hair. She cannot fight it anymore, she pulled your head towards her, her cock pushing up to the back of your throat, your nose touching her pubic region.
You felt a warm liquid travel straight to the stretch of your throat. Then, you let out a gagging sound as she pushed you away from her cock. Your saliva and her cum connecting her cock to your tongue. She stepped forward and jerked herself and spurted her white cum on your face.
You gasped about how good and hot it felt on your skin. You adjusted your kneeling self, something uncomfortable started to knot in between your legs but it doesn't matter, your Dada needs more than you. Your face was coated with her hot cum, you pushed the liquid to your mouth and sucked your fingers. You eagerly met her eyes with an innocent smile as you wasted none of her cum, tasting and eating it all—that cracked something inside Natasha. A twisted, dark, hidden side of her that she has been trying to bury since the day she met the daughter of her girlfriend.
"You can't tell mom about this, alright?"
Your brows creased in confusion and innocence, "Why?"
Natasha took a deep breath, she knew she had to explain it to you without wanting to freak you out. You're now in college, a strict Catholic college. You grew up in a very strict household with your father, but when he died you finally got to live with your mother. You had requested to be enrolled in the same school you grew up studying in even though your mother wanted you to have a different environment since she noticed that you had adapted the traditionality of your father's family which your mom hated the most. Resulting for you to be so frail, innocent and naive.
"Because…mom can only help me like this." She said softly. "And she would be very mad if she knew you've been helping Dada like this. Do you want mom to be mad at you?"
"No. I don't want mom to be mad at me." You said in almost a whisper, your eyes started to sting.
"Oh hush bunny, don't cry. Just don't tell her about this alright? Mom knows how good you have been to me and that's already enough." Her reassurance and the soft kiss she planted on your forehead started to soothe you. You nodded eagerly, biting your inner lip to suppress your tears.
All you want is nothing but to help your Dada.
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanov#black widow#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x fem!reader
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All for Us Part VI _ Final Part Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V
Hello Sweeties ! So as I saw in the votes, you asked for this L A S T par of this story, so there it is ! It's not that long cause I didn't had much to say. I just wanted to do a beautiful and simple end cause I think both deserve it. It wasn't a long Story, but it was long compare to everything I wrote in the last years and I'm proud of myself ! I realised later than the title is kinda bad cause I just made a bad translation from the french but the good title should be '' Everything for Us '' but I will let it like it is cause, Why not. My first Fanfiction in years, my first fanfiction I finishied since my highschool years ( 11 years at least ) and my first published Smut in Years too. Overall I'm proud of myself and I wish I will do more other stories and I hope to be able to finish them all. Thanks to everyone who followed and Love this story. I hope to see you again for other ones !
Tags : @private-vampire - @rafesbunniebby - @ultracoolnobody @chxrrybomb22
You didn't remember what happened after you voted to go home. It was the majority of you. You remembered Thanos voting X too, but after the light off, everything was fuggy. When you opened your eyes, you were on the dirty ground where you were picked when you joined the game. You had a blindfold, well you guessed it was it, who had felt it on your neck. Your feets and wrists were tied up and you could feel the cold breeze of the night. Those bastards let you in underwear in the middle of a street. Luckily for you, You noticed your clothes close to you and after a moment, trying to untie your wrist, you quickly do the same for your legs before putting on your clothes.
Your phone was in the pocket of your sweater and of course, it ran out of energy. Your apartment keys were still in your jean’s pocket.
You felt tired and durty. A good bath and 24h hours of sleep is going to be well deserved, but first, you need to check on something.
You go to the nearest convenient store and put your card in the ATM to take a look at your account. Your heart was racing in your chest. What if it was just a dream ? What if they lied ?
Even if you didn't felt right to be happy, you couldn't stop smiling when you noticed the big amount of money you had in your account. Tears of joy appeared in your eyes, slowly cascading on your cheeks. Finally, The suffering and anxiety will be over. A hand on your stomach, you smiled at it.
«-I promise, You gonna have a beautiful Life…»
Once you got home, as you expected, the door locks were smashed. The guys who were chasing you for money probably entered the apartment while you weren't there.
Stressed, you opened the door and you felt sad to notice how everything was destroyed. This didn't look nice anymore, but you still have to stay there, at least until you could join Thanos or even that guy who messed up your apartment to give him the money.
Plugging your phone to the charger, you start to clean around as much as you can.
After a moment, when your house was clean enough for the energy you had, you go back to your phone and noticed a lot of unread messages from the guy who landed you money. Unsure, you text him back a simple ; I have your money. Let meet up Tomorrow.
You also get a Message, well, many, from Thanos. He seemed anxious about you and the baby.
“-Had you made it home yet ? “ -23h07 “-You can come to my place if you want “ 23h12 “-Or I can come over “ -23h13 “-Princess Are you all right ?” -23h20 “-I Got the money from the game. I can send you some if you want. “ -23h22 “-I know your debts are all my fault anyway…”-23h22 “-Seniorita Please answer me. Are you alright ? Is the baby’s fine ??!! ”-23h25 “-If I don't get an answer I'm going to show up at your place ! “-23h33 “-Okey I'm coming !! ” -23h45
You looked at the time : 23h55. You smiled and answered him
“-I'm fine, my phone Ran out of power. No need to come over. Go at your place and rest “ - 23h56 “-I want to rest with You. Gonna bring snack. What do you want ? Ice Cream and Pinault butter ?”-23h58 “-Im Fine!! And of course Not, I don't have any weird pregnancy cravings. “-00h00 “-Not Yet ;) Anyway, still on my way…with snacks”-00h08
Your smile never left your face. Thanos was always really caring with you but somehow you feel like it was different this time, like he really made an effort and it made you happy.
When he arrived, he opened the door as you were still cleaning up the apartment. He looked around, visibly confused by all the mess around.
«-What happened here ? »
You explained to him the problems you got cause of your debts who’s also his or cause of him. Thanos felt bad you had to go traught all this cause of his addiction and helped you to clean as much as possible. Once everything was less messy, you both enjoyed some Snacks he bring and that’s when you realised how hungry you were. He bought you some of your favorite Ramen, chips and little cake.
He also gave you an envelope with money. It was the exact amount you need to give to the guy you will meet tomorrow. He apologized and insisted you keep it. You felt touched by this and accepted his money.
«-I really want you to keep the money you get from the game for our child. And for Yourself, of course. -What about your own debts ? -I will figure it out. And I still have some left so don’t worry about me. I want to go back to music and earn money of my own. I want to make you and our child proud. And for something else… -Something else ? Like what ? A home ? It's pretty expensive. -Well, not for a home, but it could be a plan for later. The other thing dépend more on your decision. -which is ? »
You both were sitting on your bed and Thanos got up to kneel in front of you, gently taking your hand in his. You looked at him, breathtaking. Your heart stops beating for a second before it starts to beat faster. You could feel your eyes feeling with water.
«- Y/N would you accept to be my wife ? »
You were too shocked to answer. Tears flowing from your eyes as you just quickly nod your head. It wasn't the romantic scene you always dream of, but coming from Su Bong it was the most romantic thing he ever did. Even if you were both exhausted, still in debts and even if you didn’t have a Ring for you, yet, this moment felt the happiest of your life. You throw yourself in his arms, still crying as you repeat ‘’ Yes ! ‘’ Again and again. Su Bong smiled and held you close, gently caressing your hair.
«-My dear and Beautifull Wife, He said before kissing you. »
This relationship with him was a total rollercoaster of emotion, but your love for each other was just too strong to let you away from each other. Faith does good things, sometimes.
The next day goes well, you got rid of your debts, Thanos started to go to therapy to avoid touching drugs again, so did you.
You moved In together, he worked on new music, new songs, starting to slowly go back on stage while you went back to school. You dropped one year ago but you chose an option you really like. It wasn’t easy with the pregnancy and Had to do a lot of school classes and take more time.
Life with your Now, fiancé wasn’t alway easy. When he felt the side effect of always being sober you fighted a lot, but at the end He apologies and you were understanding considering all the efforts he did for you, the baby and your relationship. Sometime, you fucked to avoid fighting or when Su bon needed a big high. He said you were his new addiction and even dedicated you to a song where He talks about how much He loves you and how you changed his life.
Eventually, you gave birth to a beautiful Daughter. Su bon said once he really would like to have a boy, but when He hold his little baby daughter in his arms for the first time, he almost cried and didn't let go of her. He quickly became over protective with her. He also wrote a song about her and it became a great hit. That’s how He were able to afford your engagement ring.
Your life goes back on track and you feel happy despite what you had been taught with the game. You and Su Bong got a matching tattoo with the number you were during the game as a sort of memorial for the ones who died in there but also as a reminder to yourself to be careful with your money and every decision you will take, cause you never want to live an experience like that ever again.
#thanos squid game#x reader#thanos x reader#squid game#fanfiction#thanos x pregnant reader#pregnant reader#choi su bong#su bong x reader#choi su bong x reader#player 230
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LMAO WHAT NO WAY
DO THESE EVEN COUNT😭
Uhhhh I literally do not want to answer these bc tomoyo is a fourth grader in the image sooo
Kiss Len Kagamine☻️ (ily len but I would spit right after and wash my mouth like there's no tomorrow)
Marry the prince of the cosmos🎉
And kill Tomoyo😞💔
(I'm so sorry Tomoyo I promise I would never..😔😭)
Idk who to tag so uhhh sorry if you don't wanna be tagged and whoever I didn't tag you can also reblog this one😋
@w-a-f-e @just222suki @elijahsgirl11111
IDK IM SORRY☻️☻️😔
Kiss/marry/kill with the last three fictional characters in your camera roll:
Kaladin (Stormlight Archives), Shadowstar (TLoJD), and Fitzy (Fawx and Stallion)… this is tough. I think I would just kiss all of them if I could. Marry Kaladin, kiss Shadowstar, and kill Fitzy. Sorry, Fitzy, I just have the least strong feelings on you <///3
(No pressure tags: @falloutcoys , @seven-winged-liar , @eskiinox , @howlingthunderheatlightning , @baseballboots . And also @ anyone else who wants to !!)
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Superstars || Pro Wrestler!Logan x Pro Wrestler!reader
Summary: It's your first day on XMN television since being called up to Evolution. With new friends and possible new rivals your career is filled with the unknown. Especially when it seems like one of the veteran superstars has his eyes on you.
Warnings: some description of wrestling violence.
a/n: OKAY SO. I decided to treat this universe as like sort of series? But it's not like a cohesive story just a lot of short stories in the same universe that can be read separately kind of. This is like the introduction thing though so I will be following up but it can still be read solo. ALSO, I'm gonna add some like wrestling terminology at the end of the fic in case you aren't familiar with certain slang but if that's annoying plz let me know. plz feel free to ask me any clarifying questions too! This is just me combining my two interests lmao.
This was it. Your debut on Evolution since being moved from Origins. You paced back and forth backstage as you rehearsed your lines over and over again. You were supposed to go and interrupt the current Woman's champion Storm. She's the babyface of the Woman's division and you're the egotistical heel.
She has been undefeated for a year now and you were her next challenger. You feel someone tap your shoulder and you turn to see Storm and Rogue.
"You ready?" Storm asks, the belt resting on her shoulder.
"I guess," You were already dressed up with hair and makeup but it didn't feel real yet. Evolution was XMN's main show. That's where the superstars were, the ones they saw as true star power.
"You're going to do great, promise I'll go easy on you." Storm teases. Despite her goddess character, she's nothing but sweet and down to earth.
"First promo on a new show, don't forget your lines sugar." Rogue jokes.
"I'll try." You say nervously. She notices the deep anxiety written all over your face and gently places her arms on your shoulders.
"You got this, take a deep breath and when you get out there take it all in because you're never going to forget it." Rogue says warmly.
The two of them are called by a production manager leaving you alone once again. The clock was ticking ever closer to your call time. As you head closer to where you need to be you're stopped once again but this time by two men you've never met but heard a lot about.
The Wolverine and Deadpool were XMN's top tag team. Somehow the two of them work. Logan or Wolverine was always going to be a star.
Founded on the indie circuit going by just Logan at the time he was big, brooding, and strong. But his mic work was lacking as he wasn't a big talker. Still his raw talent and clear wrestler figure made it a no brainer to sign the man. That's where he met Wade Wilson. Or Deadpool.
He was a comedy character with a big mouth and the ability to get the crowd wrapped around his finger. He was vulgar and unserious as hell but people loved him. So imagine the shock when the two of them became a tag team. It was strange at first, I mean the two were nothing alike but for some reason the fans gravitated to them. The buddy cop duo charmed their way into viewers hearts.
It made sense, Wade was funny but he never quite reached the status to win any gold. Logan had the chance to win gold but fans hadn't really seemed to connect with him as a possible champion. Put them together and you had an odd couple tag team that people just wanted to root for. Wade did the talking while Logan was the muscle. But the banter the two of them electric.
Not to mention the chemistry in their wrestling, pulling off tag team moves flawlessly. Now they're the world tag team champions. And they're standing right in front of you. You were a massive fan of them and had been before you even joined XMN.
"Logan look! A new ducky has joined the pond." Wade pulled you into a hug immediately.
"Oh, uh hi!" You say as you hug him back.
"Get off her idiot." Logan says with a roll of his eyes.
Man Logan was even hotter in person. They had a match tonight and you just thank whoever decided he should wear those low rise trunks. Everything is on display for sure.
"Hi, I'm a huge fan of both of you." You say excitedly.
"Of course you are, who isn't a fan of us." Wade says jokingly.
"Shut up." Logan says before turning to you.
"Thanks sweetheart. Glad to see you here." You notice his eyes scanning you up and down and you silently thank yourself for wearing your good shorts.
"I've seen you on Origins, you're amazing!" Wade compliments and you thank him.
"You really think so? I'm really nervous about tonight." You say shyly. You've done this before but for some reason tonight just felt different.
"Look, you've got no reason to be nervous sweetheart. You got the look, the talent, the athleticism. Everything. Plus a pretty face never hurts." Logan says with a smirk.
You feel your stomach erupt with butterflies at his compliment. Logan isn't the guy to say something he doesn't mean. In fact it's a shock he's even talking to you. You were warned before about how little he talks and to not take it personally. But here he is smiling and giving you advice.
"Thank you, it means a lot coming from you." You say with a smile.
"Good luck tonight by the way, I'm kind of surprised you aren't main eventing. I mean everyone loves you guys." Logan just shrugs and throws the belt over his shoulder.
"I don't mind too much, we'll get the crowd going for you." He says with a wink. Wade eyes the two of you suspiciously, head turning back and forth.
"Oh my god you are so-" Logan slaps his hand over Wade's mouth before he can say anything else.
"We have to go, see you around real soon sweetheart." Logan drags Wade away towards the main stage.
"So rude!" Wade huffs as he shoves Logan's hand off his mouth. Your eyes drift down as they walk away, shamelessly watching Logan's ass.
Despite only talking to him for a couple minutes he's managed to calm all your nerves.
You watch Logan and Wade's match from gorilla. You can't tear your eyes from the screen as Logan clotheslines . He lets out a roar and the crowd cheers. The intensity in his eyes send shivers down your spine. But fuck does he look good.
His massive arms are on full display as he lifts Beast over his head and slams him onto his knee. He turns his back to the camera and you get to see those muscles in all their fucking glory.
"Careful, you might catch flies." You turn to see Jean standing next to you. She's smiling but it doesn't reach her eyes.
"Oh I wasn't...I was just watching-"
"It's okay, he's a handsome man. Trust me I know." She hums.
You laugh nervously but there's a strange air between the two of you. Jean was the top star. She may not hold a belt but she was a massive draw and everyone knew it.
"If I can offer you a word of advice, I'd stay away from him if I were you. A lot of history there." She flashes a smile and leaves.
You start to fiddle with your sleeve as you let Jeans words sink in. Looking at Logan doesn't mean anything. He's handsome anyone could see that. That's all it is. You don't think about him that way, at least you don't think you do. You barely know the guy. Storm notices your mini spiral and comes over to snap you out of it.
"Don't let her get to you," Storm says.
"Whatever she said, just block it out." You nod and try and push that away. This is your moment and you got this. This is no different than being on Origins. You know how to do this, you're good at this. The bell rings and Logan and Wade stand victorious.
As they walk back into gorilla you clap along with everyone else. Logan runs his fingers through his hair, his once perfectly styled tuffs are now flattened from sweat. His whole body is sweaty and fuck is it hot.
"Nice match Logan," Storm hums.
"Thanks 'Ro. By the way, be nice tonight alright, It's her first day." He says gesturing towards you. Storm raises an eyebrow at his request.
"She's not brand new Logan, just new to this show."
"I know. Just saying she might be nervous is all." Storm smirks. Logan has never cared this much about a new superstar before.
Interesting.
"Logan! That match was amazing." You praise. You move to hug him but stop yourself. Feeling a pair of eyes drilling themselves in the back of your head.
"Thanks sweetheart, I had hoped you were watching." Storms music hits and you watch her walk out to the crowd. The nerves coming back in full force as you realize it was almost time to go out there.
"Hey, stop that." Logan nudges your shoulder and you sigh.
"I don't know why I'm so nervous. I've been doing this for years but this just feels so much bigger." You say.
"Look Chuck wouldn't have brought you here if he didn't think you were ready. I've followed your career since you joined this place. Like I said earlier you have everything it takes. So don't let some nerves get in your way got it?" Your eyes widen at his words.
He's really watched you all this time? Logan is a star and you've just got called up from developmental. It's like a surge of confidence. He's right. You can do this.
"Thank you Logan." You take a few deep breaths and wait by the curtain. In and out.
You focus on what you have to say and wait. A calmness washes over your mind and body as your music hits. Like a switch is flipped inside of you. You grab the mic and walk out that curtain, ready to show the world what you had.
The whole segment went flawlessly. You interrupt Storm, pushing yourself as the soon to be new woman's champion. You feel right at home as exchanged a war of words with her. Everything ending in a brawl that leaves Storm on the mat with you standing above her. Holding the belt and pointing right at the camera.
The fans fell right into your hand. Booing your shameless attack on their champ. You try and hide your smile as you walk out. The fans love you, they want this match and you couldn't be happier. The moment you step back through the curtain you let yourself breathe. Jumping in happiness.
"You did great sugar! It was electrifyin'" Rogue says while pulling you into a hug.
A few other people congratulate and welcome you to the show. After a small debrief about next week you're free to go. Walking through the halls of the arena you can barely contain your excitement for next week. As you change back into normal clothes you find a familiar face waiting outside of the locker room.
"Logan, I thought you would have gone back to the hotel by now." You say, slightly shocked he's still her. He's leaning against the wall with his backpack. Dressed in a very cozy looking gray sweater.
"Decided to stick around to watch. I told you you'd kill it." He joins you as you walk to the exit.
"Well I had to make sure we were worth following your match." You tease. The conversation flows easy as he walks you to the car waiting to take you both back. Luckily the lobby is practically empty by the time you're dropped off with no one joining you in the elevator.
"Hey, I'm going to train tomorrow if you want to join me. I could show you a few things. See what you've got too." Logan offers.
"Yes!" You blurt out. The chance to train with Logan, you'd be a fool to pass that up.
"I mean, yes that would be great." You try and cover any embarrassment by staring at the ground, wishing it would swallow you up. Logan chuckles leans against his hotel door.
"Okay, it's a date then. See you tomorrow sweetheart." He scans his keycard and goes into his room, leaving you standing there in shock.
A warm fuzzy feeling growing in your stomach as you repeat his words in your head. Date. You hear someone clear their throat and you turn to see Jean watching with an unimpressed look on her face.
You duck your head and hurry to your room. Getting in as fast as you can. You throw your bag on the table and fall onto the hotel bed. Today was not like anything you were expecting. Debuting on a new show, meeting Logan, Jean, setting up a championship feud. It's a lot in one day but you couldn't be happier. This was everything you had dreamed of since you decided to become a wrestler and now it was coming true.
Who knows what's going to happen next.
Gorilla - backstage area where the show is run and the area right before the entrance curtain
Promo - promotional interview, a dialogue or monologue used to advance a storyline.
Babyface/Face - The "Good guy", "Hero" character. Wants to be cheered by fans
Heel - "The bad guy" or "Villian" that is meant to be boo'd by fans
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#wrestler!logan howlett#wrestler!logan howlett x reader
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☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 37
Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader
written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, NSFW, MDNI, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!
warnings/labels: some mild hurt/comfort, brief discussion mentioning and alluding to typical Crime Alley shit (drugs, prostitution, human trafficking, etc.)
wc: 2.2k
Chapter Selection
Gotham University stood tall and proud; the pinnacle of modern design, all sharp edges and floor to ceiling windows. Jason insisted on walking me to class for my first day, looking longingly at the library building as we passed.
“... You could take some classes too, you know.” I smiled softly. “I can just see you pouring over the Epic of Gilgamesh for some classic literature class while I'm memorizing the names of the bones or something. We could be GU's next power couple~”
He chuckled softly, smiling wistfully. “... It would be nice, … if only … I … I didn't even graduate high school … kinda died in the middle, and then …”
I gently squeezed his hand, stroking his knuckles. He smiled weakly, gently tugging me closer to press a soft kiss to my jaw; silently reassuring me that he was ok. I leaned in, smiling softly; “... You could get your GED, if you want it?”
“... Maybe, some day. But for now, I’m happy to cheer you on from the sidelines.”
I cupped his cheek gently; “if that's what you want.”
He nodded; “... For now.”
Other students streamed past us into the classroom. “Ok, … wish me luck!”
Jason smiled softly; “good luck, baby girl~ … you're incredible, you know that?”
I felt my face warm as he pulled me into a hug. “... Nah, not really…”
“Yes really. You're gonna knock their socks off…”
I giggled softly, kissing him one more time before heading into my class. Jason waved me off as the professor shut the door, starting class.
I changed, scribbled a quick note on the whiteboard on the fridge, in case Jason came home before I did, tossed Damian's helmet into my riding bag, and headed out. I found the restaurant easily enough, quickly spotting Damian at a little metal table out front. My heart ached at the sight; he looked so defeated, sitting there with his hands in his lap. Emma was nowhere to be seen. As I pulled in to a spot, he slid his backpack onto his shoulders and approached.
Damian: Sister, can you please come get me?
3:45pm
Me: Yeah, you at school?
3:46pm
Damian: No, the boba place down the block.
3:47pm
Me: Oh yeah, your date! How'd it go?
3:48pm
Damian: I'd rather not discuss it.
3:50pm
Me: Oh damn. Ok, I'll be there in 10
3:51pm
Damian: Thank you.
3:52pm
His cheeks were a bit flushed, and his usual self-assured smirk was replaced with a blank expression. I pulled his helmet out of the bag, offering it to him, and he immediately tugged it on. His arms wrapped tight around my waist as he settled into his seat.
I gently squeezed his hand and we took off. “You wanna ride for a bit, or go straight home?”
“... Ride.”
“Ok, we can do that.”
I turned down a road that led to some nicer neighborhoods, so he'd have pretty parks and historic architecture to look at. He sighed softly, hugging me tight, and we drove in silence for a while. Eventually a chime in my helmet headset let me know I was being called.
I pushed a button on my helmet to accept the call; “hello?”
“Hey Doll, you on your way back?”
Damian squeezed a bit tighter. He wasn't ready. “No, not yet, Jay. Damian wants to ride around for a bit.”
“Oh. Hey demon spawn!” Damian grunted softly in response. “... Woah. Ok then. Not a good day. Should I order dinner, or is Damian going back to the manor?”
“That sounds nice to me. Kiddo?”
“... Indian?” Damian mumbled.
“Sure, Indian. You both want your usuals?” Jason sounded a bit concerned. Damian wasn't usually this obviously affected by things…
“Yes please. Thanks Jay~”
Damian grunted a soft; “thanks…”
“Sure. See you in … what, maybe an hour? Two?”
“Something like that. I'll call you when we're on our way home.” I stroked the back of Damian's hand, hoping he'd find it reassuring.
“Ok. Be safe.”
“Always. Love ya!”
“Love you too, princess.” With a click the call disconnected, and Damian sighed softly.
“... You wanna talk, sweetie?”
“... She … she didn't even realize it was supposed to be a date. … She showed up with a group of people. … Everyone was ordering bobas, and laughing. I tried to talk to her, but she wasn't really paying attention … Suddenly they were all talking about going to the mall. I said I didn't want to go, … And she left with them anyway.”
I sighed softly, gently squeezing his hand. “I'm so sorry, Damian. That must have hurt a lot …”
“... Jon was right … I'm undateable.”
“Oh honey, Jon doesn't think that. I think he was just surprised that the first time you mentioned this girl to him was also the day you told him you had a date. That's all.”
“... So he thinks I'm indecisive? … That might be worse. What kind of leader can't make a simple decision?”
“... You're not indecisive, baby. No one thinks that. You're discerning. You choose your friends carefully, and Jon knows that.”
He sighed softly. “... Can I sleep at yours tonight?”
“Of course. Should we head to the manor for you to feed your pets first?”
“Yes. … Thank you.”
I nodded, and we made our way to the Wayne household. Damian was silent the whole way, sluggishly sliding off the bike when we got there.
Alfred frowned, watching us as we entered the house. I smiled weakly, and Damian hurried off to tend to his animals.
“He's asked to spend the night with me and Jason.”
Alfred nodded. “I see. Well, do you have time for a cup of tea? I'd like to hear about your first day at the university.”
I smiled softly, nodding. “It was good. My biochemistry teacher in particular seems really nice; he's a bit stern, but still warm if that makes sense?”
Alfred nodded, leading me into the kitchen. We had tea and discussed my classes for a while. Eventually, Bruce stood in the doorway and cleared his throat.
“May I speak with you for a moment?”
I nodded slowly, standing to follow him. Alfred wished me farewell, and Bruce led me to a sitting room. We sat in plush armchairs, watching the fire in the fireplace.
“... I have a favor to ask.”
“Ok?”
“... I'm worried about Jason … and, I've been thinking about it, and you might be the only person who could convince him …”
I frowned. “Convince him?”
“... He puts himself in unnecessary danger on patrol. And I-”
“Wait. Is Bruce asking me a favor, or Batman?” I leaned forward a bit. “Because you know that I will not help Batman. And I cannot imagine why Bruce would be bringing up patrol with me.”
He sighed; “... I'm worried about my son's safety. And it occured to me that you, as his girlfriend, are in a unique position to convince him not to take unnecessary risks.”
“I see … risks, such as going out on patrol at all?”
“... Risks, such as having a reputation among the Gotham underground for coldblooded murder.” Bruce grimaced.
“Ah. … See, here's the thing, Bruce; that ship has sailed. Red Hood is already known to kill when necessary. Changing that now will not protect him, it will make him appear to be going soft, and put him in more danger. And even if that weren't the case, … I still wouldn't help you with this.”
He clenched his jaw, narrowing his eyes at me. “... Do you like that he kills?”
“... Let me tell you a little story, Bruce. When I was in high school I walked to and from school. And every single day I walked past half a dozen dealers, all offering me the first taste for free. I saw dozens of my classmates give in, one by one. They sought stress relief, or party enhancers, or study aids, but the result was always the same. Everything they were eventually slipped away until they were entirely consumed by the drugs. … By the time I graduated, almost a third of my classmates were dead, missing, or dropped out, most of them because of drugs. Only two kids had gone to rehab and come back in time to graduate with the rest of us.
When I first got my job at the diner, I only worked day shifts. I made sure I was home by nightfall no matter what, because from dusk till dawn the dealers, pimps, and gangs owned the streets. Joker, Two-Face, Penguin, and even Batman and Robin had all pushed the ordinary criminals out of the rich neighborhoods, out of the middle class neighborhoods, and into mine. So I followed all the rules; keep your head down, stay inside at night, don't draw attention to yourself, carry pepper spray but not a knife.
One day I woke up, I made my way to work, and halfway into my shift a coworker called in. I was told I could stay late to cover, or not come in the next day. So I stayed. Late that night I finally went home. … And nothing happened. I didn't see one shady deal in a back alley, or hear one prostitute calling out to the folks on the street. I was alone. … It was unsettling, to say the least. In the morning all the headlines were reporting that there was a new crime boss in Gotham. That a dozen gang members had been executed in a single night, and the underground was in turmoil.
… Over the next several weeks more reports came out, all calling the Red Hood a murderer, a serial killer even. But you know what the people in my neighborhood said? They called him a hero. They said we were finally safe, that we could leave our homes after dark again. The high school dropout rate in my neighborhood plummeted that year. Our sisters and daughters actually came home after a night out. It became known - if you see a flash of red in the night, someone evil is about to die. Seeing Red Hood wasn't a guarantee of safety, of course; innocents still died. But they died knowing that their killer would be in hell soon, because the Red Hood takes no prisoners.”
Bruce watched me, a pained look in his eyes as he took in my story. “... So you will not discourage him from killing?”
“... When Jason Todd returned to Crime Alley, he single-handedly did more good for my neighbors than Batman ever has. He makes us safer; not just feel safer, we are safer. I am not going to tell him how to run his business. I trust him to make good choices. He knows I want him to come home, and I trust that he will always do his best to do so. I can't ask for more than that. He's a man, not a god.”
Bruce sighed, nodding slowly. “... With every life he ends, he takes another step down a path of darkness. … Someday he may find himself too far down that path; too far to turn back, too far to hide from the consequences. … It is a path I cannot follow, and if I cannot follow him, how can I protect him?”
“I understand, but ... He's making the choices he can live with. He's a good man, Bruce. You know that, don't you?” He nodded slowly. “Then maybe you should try to trust him.”
Bruce sighed and nodded slowly. “... I am so worried for him…”
“Good. You're his dad, it's your job to be worried about him. But that doesn't have to mean second guessing every choice he makes. You're allowed to have different moral codes.”
Damian cleared his throat from the doorway, changed into casual clothes and a bag slung over his shoulder. “I'm ready when you are…”
I nodded, smiling softly. “Ok, baby brother. I'll meet you downstairs. Will you tell Jay we're on the way?”
He nodded, smiling a little. Bruce frowned a bit. “He's spending the night with you then?”
“He asked to. I'll take him to school in the morning.”
Bruce nodded slowly, sighing. “... Fine. … Have a good evening.”
After dinner, Jason convinced Damian to tell him what happened on his date. The boy curled in on himself, mumbling, and I went to the kitchen to load the dishes. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jason pull Damian into a hug, and Damian hugged back, even leaning into it. I smiled softly, glad they were opening up to each other.
“... I think I'll take a shower.” Damian slowly pulled away.
I nodded. “Go ahead, kiddo. When you're done we can have dessert. Nothing soothes heartache like a brownie sundae, yeah?”
He smiled a little and nodded. “Yeah, ok. Thanks.”
“Of course, baby brother.”
He headed into the bathroom and Jason came up to wrap his arms around me. I kissed his cheek, smirking a bit, and whispered; “way to go, papa.”
He blinked a bit, groaning softly. “Dear god, no.”
“Oh yes~” I giggled.
He chuckled, pulling me closer. “Ugh, gross … don't let B hear that.”
“Are you kidding? Bruce already doesn't like my relationship with Damian, I'm not about to give him any reason to distrust yours too.”
Jason nodded, kissing my jaw. “Good …”
Divider by: @saradika-graphics
Fanart in the header by: @crowkip
Taglist (always open):
@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona @mystic60 @iwannabealocalcryptid @morstuavitamea-a @frosty--giants @arisa191 @prized-jules @phoenix666stuff @dinonuggysandhuggus @anuttellaa @whore-of-many-hot-men @cottage-worm @v1ckycheesue @roastyyytoastyyy @sarakmec @thestarcatcher7297 @stupidlyunhinged @mishkapi @mermaidgirl-11 @bunniboo0015 @bibibusinessman @iimichie @nekotaetae @sofiafantasies @casgh0st @fandom-trash0116 @viliwi
#fanfic#fanfiction#jason todd#dc fanfic#jason todd x reader#dc#red hood x reader#wayne family adventures#first person pov#no y/n#chubby reader#x chubby reader#female reader#plus size reader#x reader#fem reader#damian wayne#Can I Get Your Number?#multichapter fic
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Being part of the biggest clown shippers of the k-pop and calling others idiots is a joke a phunnyyy one at that lol.
Like you jeonscatalyst even i thought this blogger was somewhat a normal tkkr because i once got recommended their post when i was searching something, they said jikook are good friends (bare minimum) so i was like damn that's the most intellectual thing i have ever seen a tkkr say. But then i once read there clownery in jkk tag and i had to block them because i don't have patients to see the stupidity in jkk tag. they had written a whole ass Thai bl script in that post and i was like the most reaction you're getting out of me for that post is a block. i genuinely thought this one was normal and doesn't ship taekook because jikook is a company ship but of course what do we expect from sheeps? to follow one another with a blind fold on.
Taekookers should be glad that jimin isn't what they want him to be (leaning more into fanservice lol) because Who jk asked to do a live with him? To jm and what did jm do? declined the offer. now WHO asked jk to do a live with him? tae. jm said he still remembers how bam used to sleep on his arm when he was baby but who has a pic posted with bam from company? tae with a caption "I raised bam" when not even jk was able to do that given his busy schedule so bam has spent most of his time in training center he still does. so jm and other members also knew bam way before ITS 2 and given that one pic of tae and bam seems like jk took bam to the comp and jm has known bam to say how he used to sleep in his arms but did he post anything? No. when jk was happy that he'll get his first boxing partner who was he talking about? JM. who does boxing together at the same centre? jm but who has posted a video of some regular boxing practice saying jk thought him even tho jk said he was just having fun with him? Tae.
Who has been with jk on his b'day (confirmed) multiple times? Jm but has he ever posted their pictures celebrating jk's b'day ever despite jm being physically present there? Never. even when in 2022 he posted jk's pic from his home jm literally zoomed in and cropped hell out of it and if it wasn't for jin asking jk we wouldn't even know jm was there and only AFTER jk confirmed jm being there, jm posted the pic so he doesn't care what shippers wants because if he did he would be doing that but i do remember tae posting a full pic of tae and jk on his b'day even tho jk posted the cropped one. Who was it who started live when vmin were outside jk's house? tae and who asked to cut the live and not bother jk who was doing live on his own? Jimin. who was who started live at jk's home when vhopekook were there? tae but i do remember jk saying he wasn't planning on starting any live but tae did so himself and did jm start any live when he was at jk's home? never. Jm was with jk when jk did live after his GMA perfomance yet jm didn't involve himself in jk's live and let hi do his own live even though we all already knew jm was in NYC itself cause even the host of the had asked jk. but i do remember Tae entering a suchwita episode of jk even when jk went "Can you leave we're filming something important?". it wouldn't have taken much from jm to get in jk's live but both lives jk did in NYC jm never once interfered or asked jk to start a live when they were together in NYC.
Who was it that went on live talking about calling jk and about the food? but when fans asked jm if he went to eat that dish he asked for jk and jm said no mind you he could have skipped the question not choosing to say it in the first place but he chose the question and answered honestly because he quite literally doesn't give a fk about what shippers want to hear and what not. How many times has tae gone live and mentioned ONLY jk and the deep the live? too many that everyone in the fandom was making a joke about it as to how tae's always talking about jk. But i do remember jm asking jk why was he even watching his videos (jm's videos in that 1.5 hrs live jk did) and that he should have slept.
Jimin is serving with jk for more than a year now and not even a single picture he's posted of him with jk and i can guarantee them that had it been any other pair serving in military together (pair excluding jm because he wouldn't have posted with anyone but maybe that other member have posted with jm who knows but never jm) we would have seen their pics together from military. we have all members posting their pics in uniform except jm, jk and yg. if jm actually leans into FS he would have posted once every now n then but guess what? he doesn't give a shit about that.
Also they should be glad that it's jm who gives updates of him and jk from MS (tho it's nothing much that we're doing well and talking) because if we leave it upto jk then man gives updates like "As soon as i finish my work i go to jimin hyung, we go a little away from other soldiers and sing out loud ", "me and jimin hyung sang this song almost Daily while showering together". they said jm saying he talks to jk before going to bed is somehow him sexualizing so what does jk saying all that says about him if jm was sexualizing? lol. they should be glad jm doens't give updates like jk because it's easy for him to say that jk comes to me after he finishes his duty but he never said like that when jk himself said it. they should decide who's updates they prefer then because jk has a habit of telling things in detail.
Saying jm leans more into fanservice and jk is considerate of tae's feelings when jk himself has described jm's charm is him being "considerate" like?? jk himself thinks jm is the most considerate. he literally said smth like being on his own is tae's charm (something like that) while jm's charm is being considerate when asked about member's charms. so if jk thinks jm is very considerate how is he the one leaning in FS while jk is setting boundries? Literally contradicting members' own words. mind you jk himself thinks that jm's Actions is something he takes from jm as in that part of jm is seen in jk. when someone asks jk why he's so considerate he says it's because he's following jm meaning he follows jm's consideration. The man who links all of his good doings immediately to jm, how are they claiming that same person doesn't know boundries? again contradicting with what jk actually says and thinks about jm.
By making these comparisons I'm not accusing tae of doing anything but I'm just showing them that if we sit here and start using their logic maybe before jm they'd have to start question tae IF they wanna go with their logic. They should be glad jm ain't what they project onto him.
Wow anon,
When you lay everything out like this, it becomes quite clear who could actually be considered to be “catering” to shippers…if we were to follow their own logic, that is.
I’ve always believed that the members have every right to mention, post about, or visit each other as much as they please. No part of me would ever see that as catering to shippers because, at the end of the day, they know each other intimately, and we, as outsiders, do not.
Given the way you’ve outlined things in your ask, it’s almost unbelievable that Tae does all of this, yet these same people still insist that Jimin is the one pandering to shippers. It’s even more absurd when you realize that the very people accusing Jimin of catering to shippers are the same ones who have Tae as their favorite and actively ship him with Jungkook. Can you imagine the uproar if Jimin had done even a fraction of what Tae has?
From the way they talk, it’s clear that they’ve never truly listened to what the members say. Actually, scratch that—they do listen, but only when they can twist the members’ words to fit their own narrative.
It’s funny what you uncover when you take a closer look at their history.
Here, we can all clearly see and hear Jungkook explaining that Jimin is good at leaving him alone after he asks once or twice, whereas Tae will come back about thirty times. The members all agree with him on this. Based on that, who seems to struggle with respecting boundaries? Who appears more inconsiderate of Jungkook’s feelings?
Absolutely nothing Jungkook said here or anywhere else implies that Jimin disregards boundaries or is some insensitive, selfish person who ignores the emotions of his friends. But I can bet most Taekookers haven’t even seen this and those who have, have likely convinced themselves that the members only said it because it was their “job.”
You know, because apparently, it was all part of some grand plan. According to them, the members were tasked with portraying Bang PD’s favorite, “Mimi,” as an angel. Cite anything from the members own words that contradicts their beliefs, and they’ll immediately claim the boys were lying, following a script, or just “doing their jobs.” Because, of course, Bang PD founded BigHit not to create music or cultivate artists but to sign idols into contracts that require them to spend their careers propping up Jimin’s image. Forget singing, dancing, and performing…their real job, apparently, is to sit down and say the nicest things about Jimin so the world can view him as an angel🙄
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Dracule Mihawk Marriage HCS
➤ Tags: GN Reader, Dracule Mihawk, Jealousy, Marriage, Living in Mihawk's castle, Adoption, Romance, & Spoiled By Mihawk.
➤ Proof Read: No
➤ Media: Dracule Mihawk from One Piece
➤ Request Open: Yes
• You have been married to Dracule Mihawk for a couple of years now, it surprised Shanks to see the old sword's man settle down, nevertheless he was happy that Mihawk found someone that makes him happy. Mihawk doesn't really bring you up in public for safety reasons, he also doesn't believe it's smart to mix business with personal life. So not many people know that Mihawk is marry on a few people do and Mihawk threaten to cut the tongue out of anyone who talks about his marriage life to anyone who didn't attend the ceremony that was held in the garden of his castle.
• Mihawk and you decided to adopt Persona so it was official the pink pastel ghost girl was you and Mihawk's daughter, she was practically in tears when the papers were signed. She finally has a family, though she tries and begs you and Mihawk to adopt Zoro so that she can have a brother; Mihawk tells her no and even tells you not to give in. You secretly promise Persona that one day she might have a baby brother and sister. This makes Persona happier about this answer since she wants to be a big sister.
• Mihawk loves to take you out to eat despite the man wanting to have a private relationship, he has his ways of making sure that no one knows you two are together but also at the same time who would want to upset or anger the greatest swords man by harming you. Mihawk let's you order anything off the menu nothing is too expensive for his spouse, though he does guide you on the best wine to try and which wine goes best with which meal. Mihawk sometimes does get a bit flustered seeing how you lick your lips when eating a sweet dessert.
• Mihawk loves taking baths with you, you are nestled between his legs as the warm water relaxes you both. He's massaging shampoo into the hair while he listens to you talk about future activities you two can try; Mihawk will kiss your shoulder once in awhile and tell you how good you smell, that you feel so soft, and that he doesn't mind washing you up. Sometimes he'll let you work shampoo into his hair especially when he's tired.
• Ugh Buggy he hates that pirate clown with all his heart, but you swore you could see jealousy in Mihawk golden eyes whenever Buggy made you laugh. Mihawk knew that Buggy wasn't your type and that you too can sometimes get annoyed by Buggy. But whenever you laughed so hard from one of Buggy's jokes that you had to hold onto him, Mihawk would chug down his drink. Though if he sees Buggy getting too comfortable with you he won't hesitate slicing that clown's head off and rolling it away - Before picking you up and walking away from a cursing and screaming Buggy.
➣ Author's Note: This was my first One Piece and Mihawk fan fiction headcanon, I was nervous writing this but I had fun. I might do Buggy next and even more characters, my request are open and if you want to be part of the One Piece Taglist let me know please!
➣ One-Piece Taglist: [comment or dm to be added to everlasting pirate crew]
#mihawk x reader#one piece mihawk#dracula mihawk#one piece#fanfic#fandom#fan fiction#fan fic stuff#fan fic author#mihawk x you#mihawk x y/n#gn reader#mihawk x gn reader
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