#you can decline and then come back and in theory the points for battle/not battle would be calculated once you hit the next flag

[somethingabouttrees]

This is a Fortnite Chapter 5 rant. Please ignore

But they’ve ruined this fucking game. When they brought og back for a bit I thought it meant epics developers were listening to its playerbase finally. I had fun. Enough fun that I put money into the game for the next battle pass, thinking the next season would continue to bring in changes and new features that the players were asking for. Rather, I’m now trapped playing a game that makes me miserable because I can’t afford to put any amount of money into a game and then just not play it.

They essentially created an entirely new game and using Fortnite’s existing player base to “prove” to themselves the changes are successful. They added actual ai hordes, minibosses, in battle currency, a crafting system, and fishing* (for some reason). They entirely overhauled their guns, movement mechanics, ranking system**, and entire map. Outside of character customization and the battle bus, the basics of Fortnite aren’t there anymore. It’s an insult to the players to continue calling this the same game, especially since some retcons have already been announced.

The playerbase is also in rapid decline, but it’s not immediately noticeable without playing the game yourself. Technically the number of players has not changed, but if you play the game you can notice how many “players” are actually bots trying to emulate actual players. The skill gap between these bots and people is also insane, making it incredibly obvious that the bot count is growing every day despite the claim that the number of people hasn’t gone down a noticeable percentage.

And every day that skill gap grows as casual players continue to leave the game for several reasons…

*As cool as the fishing mechanic is in theory, it’s unusable as other players kill you on sight faster that you can switch from the fishing rod to a gun. Most fishing points are at the bottom of valleys or on a lake at the bottom of essentially a bowl, so you aren’t likely to even notice a player aiming at you until you’re dead and staring at your “queue for next match” screen. You also have to drop a weapon to open a slot for the pole, so unless you’re willing to risk being down a weapon in one of the most vulnerable areas in game, it’s an unusable feature.

**The ranking system is now based on wins and how far you make it in each sessions rankings. Top 10 to top 5 is the ultimate goal, outside of being crowned victor each match. Since the amount of kills you get or damage done to other players now has little effect on how to rank up, people are adopting a much more frustrating and try hard camping approach to each game. Those who can’t compete with camping sweats in ranked are now taking the same playstyle into non ranked lobbies and eliminating anyone who is trying to play casually, ruining the experience almost entirely when combined with every other change they made to preexisting mechanic. So, the casual player base continues to lose numbers as we wait for epic to ultimately go back on their changes or bring the og back again (which they have announced will happen next year, but still no word if they’re gonna make it a permanent game mode or not)

Honestly, I could keep going about how much I despise this new season. It’s awful and almost entirely irredeemable in my eyes. To make matters worse, so many players who haven’t already openly dropped it refuse to acknowledge it’s many flaws outside of the new movement, which isn’t actually any slower it just looks slower because they smoothed out the animations. However, they’ll come up with excuses not to play when offered. It’s just all so frustrating.

[icedflames]

You'll probably see this ask on other Elriel accounts because I want to see as many opinions as possible, but I'd like your opinion on the following claim; So Maas confirmed that in the next book we'll see pegasi, the house of wind and Azriel singing which they think shows that the next book will be Gwynriel. Thoughts?

I guess I’ll split this into multiple parts. More under the break.

Azriel’s singing

Well, Azriel is a shadow singer. I believe he’s the next male lead so either way, we’ll see him using his powers. I don’t think that’s indicative of any ship.

I also don’t think he’ll be singing like karaoke. We barely know about his shadows but from what we do, it seems like he can talk to them, send them away, and they swarm him when he’s angry. 

If you’re interested, @dracolovebot’s meta on his shadows can be found here.

House of Wind

SJM never confirmed that we’d see the House of Wind in the next book. She just said she’d have fun with the HoW going forward. I can find the link to the interview if you’d like it.

Since it was given to Nesta and Cassian as a gift and it basically has become this enchanted house, I’m certain we’ll see it again.

Also, apart from Gwyn residing in the library, this doesn’t indicate much for any ship. Azriel has been living there to avoid his feelings for Elain. So... we could see the HoW easily for an Elriel book. It could be there for Azriel’s moral support (or give him chocolate cake haha), the way it was for Nesta. It’s pretty easy to feature any location of the Night Court when that’s the characters’ home.

Pegasus

I strongly believe the Pegasus will make a comeback. SJM stated we’d see at least one pegasi per book (she promised her friend that on the live since her friend loved them so much). 

Although, I’m not sure how this relates to Gwyn and Azriel’s relationship other than the fact that she’s a Valkyrie...? If the relation to the Pegasi is through Gwyn being a Valkyrie, then wouldn’t Emerie and Azriel also be a viable ship? Or what about Nesta and Azriel? Regardless, if the Valkyries ride the Pegasus, Nesta should the lead the Valkyries since she is the main Valkyrie.

Anyways, there are two different theories I have with the Pegasi that don’t relate to any ship but still circle back to the plot:

The Dusk Court Theory

According to legend, the pegasuses had come from the island the Prison sat upon—had once fed in fair meadows that had long given way to moss and mist. Perhaps that was part of the decline: their homeland had vanished, and whatever had sustained them there was no longer.

[ACOSF, Chp. 41]

Here’s a link to one of the dusk court theories that I think summarizes it pretty nicely. @offtorivendell also wrote a more in depth meta here.

Basically ACOSF tells us that the prison is where the pegasi had come from. I believe that the prison used to be a court - the Dusk Court or the missing eighth court. The Prythian Courts include Night, Day, and Dawn... But no Dusk. Hence, the Dusk Court. 

When the court was somehow trapped in the stone because of the harp, the magic connecting the court to the pegasi led to the pegasi’s decline. Nesta had a vision of it and there’s a lot of passages in the last few books that connect Elain to the prison. The theory centers on the idea that she may revive the dusk court. Pretty cool if you ask me.

This also fits squarely with the Sleeping Beauty theory by @elriell. Recall that in the sleeping beauty tale, the good fairy puts every living person and animal in the palace asleep, to awaken when the princess does. Using the Dusk Court as a nod to this plot point in Sleeping Beauty would be freaking awesome. 

I think this is probably where we’ll see the Pegasi in the second book.

As for the third and final book of this trilogy... 

The Valkyries and the Wild Hunt

I think the Valkyries will ride the Pegasus into battle. This would tie the first book’s Valkyrie plot into the last pretty nicely. I’ve been forever working on a meta involving Koschei and the Wild Hunt and I believe that the final battle will be fought in the sky. Koschei, as a death god, may intend to revive the wild hunt and rule over the world, as the Daglan had once done before. 

Hence, Valkyries riding the Pegasus to fight against Koschei in the final battle (similar to the final battle in ACOWAR against Hyburn).

So my point...

I’m not sure how any of these points brought up would indicate Gwyn x Azriel as an endgame couple. These are not really plot points but:

A character’s power,

A location, and

A mythical creature.

There are also a few important plot points that need to be resolved in the next book:

Koschei and the fourth trove. Koschei isn’t sticking to his lake for much longer and the inner circle need to find this fourth trove object ASAP. Only a made individual can find it. So: Feyre, Nesta, Elain, and Amren. Feyre just gave birth to Nyx so it’s unlikely she’ll be leaving the night court and would prefer to stay close to her newborn (plus, SJM probably wants to give us the POV of finding it since it is a major plot point). And Nesta’s arc is over... so unless Amren is the next main character, that leaves Elain to find the final trove object.

The tension between the courts.  Namely the Autumn Court and Night Court. We learned Beron may be scheming with Koschei and holds a vendetta against the Night Court and inter-court peace in general. This needs to be dealt with or at least addressed in the next book to further the plot and to unite Prythian against Koschei. What better way to resolve this than the infamous blood duel and the perfect conflict between the Night and Autumn Courts - the rejection of a mating bond. Also, I think the conflict will start because of Elain and Lucien’s bond but ultimately, Helion and Beron will fight the blood duel. 

Elain and Lucien’s bond. In the actual book, Elain’s trauma and discomfort is mentioned extensively. It’s then reiterated in Feyre and Rhys’ bonus chapter. “Let’s focus on helping one sister before we start on the other” is a dead giveaway that Elain’s journey is next.

Also, thank you @rhyssescups for helping find the interview clips by SJM and confirm what SJM actually said 🖤

[thedannyphantomcookbook]

The Phantom Origins

Okay, so I know probably a bunch of people have already done this, but I wanted to rewrite Danny Phantom, from just before he got his powers to maybe when he tells his parents.

 I’m tired of waiting for a reboot that may never come, so here is what I picture the reboot would look like. 

I’ve always thought it would be darker and more horrific, that the ghosts he fights are more monstrous and demonic.

 That there would be a little bit more of a medical concern for Danny’s humanity being affected by his ghost half. Is he becoming more ghost like? Is he gradually getting sicker and sicker, and his ghost DNA ravages through his body like cancer? 

Would Vlad be not only a sexist, creepy, abusive old man, but contains a thirst for deception and power that he poses a real, apocalyptic threat on Earth and the ghost zone?

Are ghosts actually the spirits of the dead? Or are they a different breed of human that lives in a completely separate dimension, that’s is layered and hidden within ours?

What about Danny’s mental health. He has to keep this big secret from his parents because he absolutely FEARS what would happen if they found it to the point he’s scared they wouldn’t believe he was their son and try to kill him as a result, or keep him hostage in the basement, slowly torturing him and dissecting him until he’s dead? What would the world think of him? A prophet? A demon? Would they accuse his parents for experimenting on their own children? He would have so much fear and anxiety that he’d have to be on edge all the time, falling into depression, panic attacks - not to mention the PTSD he’d get from it all while battle nightmarish monsters and the hanging question over his head of what he is now. 

These are just SOME of the questions I’ve had that Butch Hartman will never answer. He set up such a great plot and characters but carried it out pretty poorly over the show (which may or may not be his fault since they wanted to keep it kid friendly.)

I hope to get into the deep and dark and nitty gritty details of Danny Phantom we’ve imagined but never get to see. I wrote the first chapter below, and I plan to write much more. :)

I hope you guys enjoy it!

Follow me over at Ao3 

Summary:

Dr. Madelyn Fenton and her husband, Dr. Jackson Fenton, have just built the world's first portal to the Ghost Zone - an alternate dimension where undead linger for all eternity. The only problem is no one believes in what they are doing. The townspeople call them the Fenton Freaks and the rejection letters from the National Science Foundation are piling up. Not even their own children can tolerate their ghost obsession. Their 14 year old son, Danny, does what he can to separate himself from his parents. Mocked by his peers and judged by his teachers, he keeps his head down and stays out of the spotlight. 

It comes as no surprise to Danny when his parents' machine fails to work on the first test run. Discouraged, they leave empty handed for the weekend to go to the Ghost Hunter's Expo, where they were expected to present their portal during their panel. As soon as his parents leave, Danny invites his friends over to give a tour of yet another one of his parents' failed experiments. When he gets dared to walk inside the machine, he triggers something that turns it back on, and for the first time ever, his parents have an invention that works. But that's the least of the surprises when Danny emerges from the portal himself...

To Whom It May Concern,

To the esteemed members of the National Science Foundation, myself, Dr. Madelyn Fenton, PhD., and my husband, Dr. Jackson Fenton, PhD., write to you today to consider us for the New Exploratory Scientific Research Grant Award. Our combined decades worth of research within paranormal scientific research fields have led us to believe that the “ghost” entities that haunt our very Earth, could in fact be the missing link to creating new technology, curing human illnesses, and prolonging human life on Earth.

The term “ghosts” is defined as a religious or spiritual being, or the hypothetical soul of the human body, separated from physical forms, usually that of a person recently deceased. Dr. Jackson Fenton and myself have a different theory about the “ghostly” entities that visit our Earth. We have sufficient evidence to prove that ghosts are in fact not the spirits of the dead, but an entirely new species of the human race. We believe they exist in an alternate dimension - a separate plane of existence that is not unlike ours. Recent developments have also shown the possibility of dimensional travel -  we believe ghosts are able to pass through into our plane of existence for a temporary amount of time. Through our rigorous research, construction, and experimentation, Dr. Jackson Fenton and myself have created what would be a “portal” to this plane of existence, to the “Ghost Zone.” By exploring and studying the ghost zone, we could collect a limitless amount of research and data that could be used to benefit humanity for the rest of our existence.  

We have provided within our application our twenty years of research and development, along with video recordings of our experiments as evidence of our work in progress, as we humbly request your consideration for the New Exploratory Scientific Research Grant  Award.

Sincerely,

Dr. Madelyn Fenton, PhD. in Quantum Physics and Paranormal Studies

Dr. Jackson Fenton, PhD. in Theoretical Science and Paranormal Studies

From the Grants and Admissions Office of the National Science Foundation

To Dr. Madelyn Fenton and Dr. Jackson Fenton,

Thank you for your interest in applying for the New Exploratory Scientific Research Grant Award. The New Exploratory Scientific Research Grant Award (NESRGA) is an esteemed scholarship opportunity that looks to provide funding for ground-breaking scientific research to scientists working within small and local laboratories. After carefully reviewing your application and research, we have come to the regretful decision to decline your request to receive the NESRGA.

We unfortunately could not approve your request due to the following issues:

Insufficient or lack thereof evidence or proof of scientific research of ghostly entities and/or undiscovered species, the “Ghost Zone” dimension in which these entities exist, or possible travel to said “Ghost Zone.”

Insufficient of lack thereof peer review research and laboratory data.

Paranormal entities and alternative dimensional research is not recognized under the National Science Foundation as factual scientific work.

We are thrilled to hear that you share such enthusiasm, passion, and ambition in the pursuit of scientific exploration, research and development. You are a part of a wonderful community, and through your tireless efforts, you will help bring our Earth into the future.

We welcome you to apply for the NESRGA again next year.

Sincerely,

Barbara Keaton,

Director of Grants and Admissions

National Science Foundation

GHOST HUNTERS EXPO - THIS LABOR DAY WEEKEND

To Drs. Maddie and Jack Fenton,

We are excited to have you return to speak at the Ghost Hunters Expo this coming labor day weekend. We have reviewed your Ghost Zone Theory and we anticipate your presentation of your research.

Please note: due to new regulations we cannot allow the following into the convention center:

Ecto-infused food, inanimate objects, or animal mutations of any kind.

Alarm or defense systems that release a form of knock out gas, ectoplasmic goo, ectoplasmic foam, spoiled meats, or  live rodents. All alarms and defense systems must be turned off while inside the convention center.

Samplings or gifts of homemade cookies or other food, beverages, or gifts to bribe the judges.

Disclosed weapons that are not a part of your presentation and/or not approved by the convention prior (we will have metal detections at all entry points of the convention hall)

Asking for audience volunteers unless approved by us prior your scheduled presentation time.

Ghost claims targeted towards convention guests, judges, or other presenters.

All presentations and inventions must have been tested and approved by a judge prior to your presentation time (i.e. no last minute or surprise inventions).

Fighting or displays of physical aggression.

Destruction of convention hall equipment, the building’s foundation itself, or other presenters equipment and or inventions.

We thank you in advance for your compliance and full understanding of the new regulations.

We look forward to seeing you!

Best,

Trevor Martin

Ghost Hunters Expo Coordinator

“Did you see this?” Jack Fenton asked, waving the notice from the Ghost Hunters Expo. He scoffed. “New regulations...I wonder who were the bimbos that made them enforce these rules.” He crumbled up the notice and threw it carelessly on the floor.

“How’s that portal coming, sweet cheeks?” he asked his wife.

Maddie Fenton was deep within a hexagon shaped chamber carved out of her laboratory converted basement wall. The interior was lined with a colorful array of wires and tiny blinking lights. At the end of the chamber, sheets of metal and hardware fanned in on itself. Maddie was kneeled on the floor, wrestling with a few cords.

“I’m just struggling to connect these last couple of wires,” she answered, pinching the two cords together. With a last bit of strain, the cords connected with a satisfying click.

Wiping the sweat off her brow, she came out of the chamber. “Hopefully that will stabilize the gravitational pull of the Ghost Zone once we get the portal running.” She briefly thought back to a dark memory from their college days when their first Ghost Zone prototype had malfunctioned and the toxins from the Ghost Zone leaked out of the portal, resulting in displacing one of her lab partners for the remainder of their college career.

“We got it this time, baby,” Jack said confidently. “There is no way we could make the same mistake twice.”

Maddie sighed as she walked over to the control panel to record the ecto-readings. “I just wish we knew for certain what had gone wrong that day. All of this guess work is driving me crazy.” She picked up her notebook and briefly reviewed her meticulously hand written notes before adjusting some dials.

“Okay,” she huffed, satisfied. “I think we’re ready for a test run.”

Jack clapped his hands. “Excellent! I’ll go grab the kids!” He ran to the basement steps and shouted, “Jazzy-pants! Danny! Get down here!”

A few minutes later both of their teenage children shuffled down the basement steps.

“Is this gonna take long?” Danny asked, disinterestedly. “Tucker and I were in the middle of planning our next battlefield strategies for Doomed. There’s only a few days left of summer vacation and we still have so much planning to do if we want to beat the other online players and achieve the seven Keys of Destiny.”

“And I was in the middle of an important breakthrough in my self therapeutic psychology research,” their daughter, Jazz promptly stated. In her hands she clutched an open copy anxiety and phobias workbook. “Did you know that high functioning anxiety in adulthood is caused by childhood trauma from never feeling safe in your own home? This would explain so much about me and Danny -” she paused in her speech when she saw the machine her parents were working on.

“Oh, no.” She snapped her book shut and pinched the flesh between her eyes. “ Please do not tell me you called us down here to witness another one of your experiments. Don’t you remember what happened last time?”

“Oh, Jazz, relax,” Maddie said, waving her off. “Those burn marks from the last ectoplasmic gun experiment healed eventually. And look!” She walked over to a closet in the back of the room and pulled out two polyester jumpsuits. “We made you both your own custom fitted, lab safe, jumpsuits!”

Jack appeared beside Maddie. “And we matched them with ours! Jazzy-pants, yours is teal to match your mother’s. And Danny, yours would have matched mine but the store didn’t have orange.” he held out a plain white jumpsuit with black gloves and boots.

“And I haven’t even shown you two the best parts!” he grabbed the jumpsuits from Maddie and spun them around. Crudely pressed onto the fabric of the jumpsuit was a cutout of Jack Fenton’s smiling face, emblazoned on the chest.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Jack grinned.

Jazz was the first to respond. “Dad there is no way you’re going to get me to wear that,” she said while backing away and shaking her head. “How about Danny and I will just go upstairs and you can call us down after  you’ve tested it? That way we’ll be safe and not have to wear those hideous jumpsuits.”

Danny silently agreed with her while struggling to conceal his own disgust at the suits. It was one thing to be forced to wear a jumpsuit like his parents but it was an entirely different level of lame to have to wear his father’s face across his chest. What if his parents insisted he wore it all the time, like they did? Involuntary images of him becoming the laughing stock at his new high school was surfacing in his mind, more than he already was for being the son of the city’s eccentric ghost hunting husband and wife team. He was already struggling to stay above the pathetic nerd social ring in his class. They’d have to create an entirely new category of nerd just for him if he wore that suit. The thought of it made him want to crawl away in a hole and be left there to die.

“Mom, Dad, I have to agree with Jazz,” Danny said. “The suits are kinda...lame.”

“Oh, nonsense,” Maddie dismissed. “These jumpsuits are the latest fashion that every ghost hunter wants.”

“And when we reveal these babies with my face on them, everyone will be scrambling for one. We’ll be rich!” Jack stated proudly.

Jazz snorted. “Um, I somehow doubt that. Look, we’ll just go back upstairs and you two can let us know when it’s safe, okay?” She looped a hand around Danny’s arm and started pulling him away.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Jack clamped a hand on both of them  and spun them back around. “You two are being given the chance to witness scientific history! And we are not going to let you pass up on this.” He tossed the jumpsuits to Jazz and Danny. They unwillingly caught them.

Jazz glowered at Danny. “If you take any photos and post them on the internet, I will kill you.”

Danny held out his suit reproachfully. His dad’s smiling face seemed to be laughing at him, like all of the students as Casper High will be if they ever found out about this.

“Don’t worry about it.”

A few minutes later, Jazz and Danny stood alongside their parents in their matching jumpsuits. Jazz stood with her arms crossed, silently fuming, her foot tapping impatiently. At her mother’s insistence, Jazz was forced to tuck in her long, red hair and wear the hair sealing head cover and thick, dark eye protection goggles that came with it. At equal height, Jazz and Maddie were identical in their suits.

At least Danny couldn’t match his dad. Jack’s suit was bright orange and about twenty sizes larger than Danny’s, due to his father’s obsession with Maddie’s homemade fudge and cookie inventions. Danny’s own white suit was slightly too large for him, and hung in odd places due to his skinny frame. He didn’t have to wear a hood and goggles like his sister either - another thankful shortage from the ghost hunter’s clothing warehouse. He picked at his dad’s pressed on face design on his chest as he waited for his parents to get the machine ready for its test run. His dad had tried ironing it on, but had done it poorly, so that with a bit of a tug, it was already beginning to peel off.

Jack and Maddie Fenton ran back and forth across the lab, double checking last minute calculations. Machines whirred and beeped around them, the hum of electricity warm in the stagnant air.

Danny had a good idea of how this was going to go. If this would be like any of their past experiments, it would fail miserably. The experiment would go haywire, probably spout ectoplasmic goo everywhere or accidentally giving ecto energy to the nearest food item. One year, their parents had tried making the Christmas Turkey in their newly invented Ultra-fast Instant Pot and instead infused it with demonic ghostly energy and reanimated it. Danny remembered hiding underneath the kitchen table as Jazz had to beat it back with a pastry roller, screaming for their parents.

The ghost zone portal was their most ambitious project yet. For most of Danny’s life, they had dinner table discussions, weighing mathematical equations and scientific chemical balances in hopes of being able to one day engineer the world’s first ghost zone portal. He was fairly surprised when he found out at the beginning of the summer that they were finally constructing it, and even more so when they claimed last night it was completed. They had been rushing to get it done in time to present it at the Ghost Hunters Expo this weekend.

He glanced at the table beside him looking at the pile of papers his dad had haphazardly stacked among the beakers and ghost weapons. Sitting on top of the stack was the rejection letter from the National Science Foundation.

“It means that they don’t think what they’re doing is science,” Jazz had interpreted for Danny after reading it when their parents’ back was turned. “And who could blame them? There is zero evidence supporting the existence of ghosts. It’s just superstition.”

That’s all it was. Superstition. And  yet, his parents had at some point in their youth latched on to the idea that ghosts were more than a myth, and even though they’ve never actually seen one in person themselves, they were determined to prove ghosts were real. What amazed Danny the most is the amount of people who also believed in the same theory. In the years past when his parents had dragged him and Jazz to the Ghost Hunter’s Expo, the crowds always seemed to grow bigger and bigger. Scientists, hunters, enthusiasts, and even ghost cosplayers gathered under the same roof for a full weekend, exchanging theories, stories and footage of what they thought were ghosts. The most ridiculous rumor he had heard at the last ghost hunter’s convention was one of a young, blue haired female musician, who became an overnight sensation after one performance at a local carnival. She had also disappeared quite suddenly after the performance, which raised a lot of speculation. Ghost hunters claimed her unusually pale skin and hypnotic vocals were a part of her ghostly powers. Jazz had stated that it was simply because she was a successful female in the patriarchy they had to deem her as a ghost to explain it.

Danny didn’t want to say anything else after that.

“Jack,” Maddie called from across the room, typing away at a computer. “Did you remember to pour in the ecto-purifier?”

“On it, baby!” Jack cried while fumbling with a control panel. Danny watched as grabbed a can of diet cola, which sat next to the similar sized gray cylinder labeled “EP.”

“Uh, Dad?” Danny called. “I don’t think that’s the ecto-purifier.”

“What’s that?” Jack asked. He turned to look at the object in his hand and barked out a chuckle.

“Thanks, son! That was a close one.” He placed the can of diet cola down and picked up the correct cylinder. “Who knows what would have happened if we purified the toxic ghost energies with diet cola. Could you imagine?” He poured the bright green liquid into the appropriate chamber.

In the corner of his eye, Danny saw Jazz shake her head. “Idiot,” she whispered.

Jazz believed she was the only mature Fenton in the family. At some point during her high school career, she had decided it was up to her to convince her parents that ghosts were not real, and to force them to change their careers to something more normal or socially acceptable. She had tried to get them interested in just about any other scientific field she could think of, such as deep sea diving to discover creatures living on the ocean floor, to NASA’s space engineering program. When those didn’t work, she tried to build a case proving the psychological damage they were causing to her’s and Danny’s upbringing. Over the summer, when she wasn’t preparing herself for the SATs she’d have to take later that school year, she poured over every psychological book she could get her hands on from the library. No matter how many times she argued about the permanent damage her parents were inflicting on their amygdala by creating an unsafe environment for her and Danny to grow up in, their parents would say it’s all worth it for the sake of scientific advancement.

Danny tried desperately to stay out of their fights. Most days, he was too focused on trying to survive a day without being called “that ghost geek” by his peers, no matter how many times he told his classmates he didn’t believe in his parents’ work. Maybe it was because of his small, bony limbs that made it so easy for his classmates to mock him. Or the fact that his only two friends in the entire world were also considered a variety of nerd within the social climate. His best friend Tucker was a little too obsessed with the latest technology and his other friend, Samanatha - Sam for short - was the only school’s goth girl, who filled her entire personality and outlook with dark and depressing outfits and literature. In a weird way, it did make sense that the girl who loved to read about the dead, and the boy who loved technology, would want to be friends with the kid whose parents called themselves ghost scientists. Still, they were his best friends and he wouldn’t trade them for anyone else.

He had been telling them about the portal his parents were building all summer. Just like he was, his friends were also doubtful it would work. They deliberated about what the inventions would actually do. Tucker still brought up the time Danny’s parents were testing out an anti-ghost gravity spray, to temporarily make a ghost lose their flight ability. The morning they were testing it out, Danny had woken up in a hovering bed. It had shocked him so much, he fell off his bed and face-planted onto his bedroom floor, breaking his nose. At some point, Tucker and Sam started placing bets about the outcome.

“Maybe the portal will just blast a hole through the wall and you’ll send up in the Amity Park Sewer System,” Sam guessed last night after he told them his parents were getting ready for their first test.

“Bet you five bucks that Danny will lose all of his hair this time,” Tucker had joked.

He absentmindedly ran a hand through his exposed hair and briefly wished he had a head cover and goggles like Jazz. He couldn’t help but notice there was something different about his parents this time. They didn’t have the same, bubbly and excited energy they usually had when showing off a new invention. They seemed more focused this time. Even his dad’s goofy banter towards Maddie had taken a back seat as his dad frowned over the controls. It was weird to see his dad actually concentrating. Maybe it was the hundredth rejection letter they received from the National Science Foundation, or the pressure to present this weekend at the Expo, but it seemed like they were seriously trying to make this thing work. They did not want to fail.

“Okay everyone!” Maddie ran over and started waving her hands. “Backs up against the wall.”

Jazz sighed and turned to walk over to stand behind the boxed in yellow line, the “safe” spot in the lab. Danny thought  a metal containment center with a viewing screen would have kept them safer, but supposedly his parents didn’t have time to build one. Danny followed his mother and sister.

“Almost…” Jack muttered at the controls, typing away. Suddenly there was a loud click that echoed off the basement walls. Machines roared to life and lights winked on. Inside the portal, the metal fans began to spin.

“YES!” Jack punched the air, triumphant.

“Jack!” Maddie called to her husband, gesturing towards the safe zone. He jogged over and squeezed himself in between his two kids.

“This is it!” he shouted over the noise, which was gradually becoming deafening.

All around the room, machines and computers turned on. Attached beakers and graduated cylinders filled up with green, bubbling liquid. A wall lined with dialers bounced up and down. Puffs of smoke expelled out of exhaust pipes. The portal itself began to crackle with electricity, its interior fans spinning faster and faster until it started emitting a bright green glow. The pressure in the room changed, popping Danny’s ears. He felt the tips of his hair begin to rise with the electric waves.

The whirring of the fans inside the machine began to ring out a high pitch squeal as the machine glowed brighter, and brighter, blinding Danny’s naked eyes. He squinted and held out a hand over his eyes, peeking through his fingers. The air around them grew warm and staticky. His father clamped a hand tightly on Danny’s shoulder, as if to hold him back from running away.

It was working. Danny couldn’t believe it. Not once in all of their years of inventing ghost machines and hunting equipment, they may have actually been able to build something that worked like they wanted it to.

What would this mean? That ghosts actually existed? That his parents were not the crackpot fools the town took them for? And if they did exist, there was the one question that no one has been able to answer.

Were ghosts dangerous?

He looked up at Jazz. Her expression was unreadable through the head covering. He looked at his parents, wild and furious excitement in their eyes.

Then, when it seemed like Danny’s ears couldn’t take much more of the screeching noise, a BOOM exploded from the portal. Light poured out of the machine and flooded the room. Danny yelped and turned away. Jack stepped in front of his family and hid them with his massive torso from the explosion. Then, very suddenly, the room went dark. Every light and machine that had been just buzzing with life, died. Danny’s hearing rang in the abrupt silence.

“What the heck?” Jack was the first to say something.

“I got a flashlight, hang on,” Maddie said next. Danny heard her fumbling around her utility belt and a small light winked on. She shined it around the room. Curls of smoke rose up from the machines. The glow from the ecto-purifier had also faded.

“I don’t understand,” Maddie said, dumbfounded as she gazed around the room. “This should have worked.”

“We checked every calculation,” Jack said, equally mystified.

“And tested every single machine.” She threw up her hands. “I even made sure the damn computers turned on!”

“Well, obviously, this wasn’t going to work,” Jazz suddenly said, her anger returning. “You guys were trying to open a portal to nothing . Because ghosts don’t EXIST.”

She ripped off the hood and goggles. “I’m going back upstairs to change and burn this stupid jumpsuit, and work on processing this trauma that you have inflicted on us, yet again.” Without waiting for her parents to respond, she stomped back upstairs, her footsteps echoing off the silent basement walls

Jack shook his head. “What is her deal?”

“Oh, never mind her, Jack,” Maddie said. “We need to figure out what went wrong. We only have a day until the expo and we promised to present this.”

Danny’s parents turned their back on him and began working to restore the power, jumping right into a deep discussion. Danny took the moment to quietly slip away back upstairs.

The second he was back into his room, he let out a long exhale. Suddenly remembering he was wearing the jumpsuit, he hastily ripped it off and then threw it in the trash bin in the corner of his room.

He flopped back onto his bed, and lay in the stillness of his room for a few minutes to collect his thoughts. He stared up at the plastic, glow in the dark stars and planets stuck on his ceiling.

He couldn’t believe there was a moment back there where he thought the machine was working.

He didn’t want to imagine what would happen if ghosts were real. There were no real scientific facts about them. All those convention attendees at the ghost hunters expo all had different theories about what ghosts are - the religiously damned, aliens, spirits with unfinished business, souls that died before their time, another species - no one could settle on a single argument.

But if they did exist, what would happen then? Would they swarm the Earth, like cicadas after their years long sleep? Would they haunt each and every home and building in towns and cities, and try to claim it as their own? Would the world be plunged into a ghost apocalypse, where every human had to fight for their own human survival and soul? Were ghosts malicious or peaceful?

His parents might be arrested for creating the portal in the first place, if it did turn out bad. Or the government might force them to work alongside them to rid the Earth of the ghost population. What would happen to him and Jazz? Would they be put into juvie, just for being the kids of the Fenton Freaks? Would they be put into foster care, once the government decided Jack and Maddie were unfit parents for him and Jazz?

What if the human population adopted a sick fascination of ghosts? Businesses would try to profit off the ghosts by selling fake anti-ghost protection devices or offer tours inside “haunted” houses. There might even be a community in which some would fall in love or even want to become a ghost themselves.

The world would become absolute chaos.

Danny shuddered at the thought. He didn’t understand what his parents saw in trying to prove their existence. What good would proving the undead existed bring to the world?

His anxious, spiraling thoughts were interrupted when his computer dinged. Danny got up and sat down at his desk. He wiggled his mouse to wake up his computer. Tucker had sent him a message.

Still have all of your hair?

Danny chuckled and wrote back.

Yep. Nothing happened though. But the power in the basement blew.

Damn ,  was Tucker’s response. And I had just invested in a 25 pack of markers to color your head in Lancer’s class when you fall asleep.

Danny laughed out loud. I can only imagine all the pensises you’d draw.

I had planned no less than 50. Two for each color.

Well I hope you kept your receipt cause I still have a full head of hair. Unlike you. Danny made a jab at Tucker’s own buzzed haircut. He had tried growing out dreads for the school year, but his mother forced him to shave it off after he got caught staying up on the computer way too late one night. She paid the barber to give him a military buzz cut.

Shut up, dude, Tucker typed back. While you were away not getting your hair fried off your scalp, I was devising up a new battle plan to defeat Chaos.

Danny smiled. Oh yeah? Lay it on me.

[ice-milk-craft]

Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over how suddenly Dream was changed during Wilbur’s decline into insanity. (yes this has little relevance to what’s happening in the rp but I still have a lot of feelings on this matter)

It was a very specific scene that showed the switch, the one where everyone makes fun of (not c!) Dream for his ‘bad roleplaying.’ But, Dream had a reason for trying to help Tommy and Wilbur that he was trying to share. During Wilbur’s reign, Wilbur didn’t actually cause too many issues (especially not like the expansion threat Schlatt was imposing). So he was willing to advocate and get him back in power.

Except Wilbur kept talking over him and preventing him from really establishing that. He forced Dream to accept the idea that his character was really doing this to enable chaos (which actually opposes Dream’s character up to that point in my opinion.) And I mean, Dream kinda backed out and just followed into Wilbur’s thoughts with it which sucks to me because Dream lost so many humanizing qualities when he agreed that he was in it for chaos.

I get in a writing sense why (not c!) Wilbur ended up pushing for that? I don’t think the idea that Dream was actually a good guy in L’manberg’s Revolution was an idea that had reached any of the CC’s. So, from anyone who was in L’manberg’s point of view, Dream was just a plain old bad guy and no one who had a say in what was happening bothered to look into his motivations and account for that then.

Tracking back, Dream’s character for all it’s worth always seemed to me like he wanted unity on the server. Peace is an unrealistic goal, but unity isn’t as much. Cause with unity, people can have arguments and battles, but eventually they’ll all come back together. L’manberg stood against that right off the bat, they wanted to separate themselves from everyone else on the server. Maybe war wasn’t the best response to that, but hey, kinda was the only way to get a solution and every other time conflict came up in the smp, the smp was still just the smp in the end. Character-wise (even if the characters weren’t a thing then), Dream probably just expected the smp to go back to just being the smp, no real addition of L’manberg. One of the end agreements of L’manberg being free was the acknowledgement it was still under the dream smp which I don’t see anyone acknowledge (At least, from what I remember of the situation).

So, always, he’s been for unity. But, his character got messed up during the L’manberg civil war when people mistook his attempts to keep everyone together as him wanted to support chaos. (Which, in a way, what he wants is a form of chaos. Everyone does what they want to do. But we’re talking about the misunderstanding that he wanted bad chaos where there’s always conflict going on constantly, which wasn’t his original intention.)

I do like how Dream’s trying to bring back some of those original aspects into his character (specifically him mentioning that he wants the whole server to be like one big family), but unfortunately, it’s led to that inconsistency in his character. Does he want chaos or unity in the end of things? We don’t know because he keeps switching between the two. And I just want him to build a consistent character that actually continues the theme that all characters have a grey morality.

I miss his humanizing “I’m the hero of my side of the story and the enemy of the one everyone else sees” qualities because you can’t even look at him now in the rp and try to imagine his actions as being heroic if it was told from his point of view.

(In which, yes, I’m aware that the dreamon theories could explain this, but given that more time goes by since the last dreamon stream + the dreamon idea feels like a very large copout for people’s actions makes me less appealed to the idea.)

[incorrect-toriko-quotes]

Oh my God, I'm so glad you brought up Coco's past/childhood, the experimentation, etc. in your long post on it because I have being thinking about it for years. So nice to see someone talking about it, and how messed up what happened to him was. Would love to see any other rants/analysis you have on that. For example, it's been a long time since I've read the series, how is Coco's relationship to Ichiryuu/the other Kings presented? Thanks, and really enjoy your posts!

First, I’m glad you’ve been enjoying my posts! The fandom may be small, but its always worth contributing to!

You said you “would love to see any other rants/analysis you have on Coco’s past”, and trust me, I’m more than happy to deliver (believe me when I say I have a HUGE buildup of talking to do about this one specific topic)

Now, under the cut, I’m gonna answer your question on Coco’s relationships with the other characters. And I’m going to make this way more complicated than it needs to be. Because when it comes to the other characters (especially family members), Coco is one of those characters where his relationships have been heavily influenced by his past.

(Apologies in advance for how unnecessarily complicated I made this)

Let’s start with Anon’s question:

How is Coco's relationship to Ichiryuu/the other Kings presented?

Now, obviously, over the course of the series, it changes drastically. But let’s take a look at what we see in the beginning and see where we end up from there. (I’ve been going back through the series start-to-finish, since I’m finally getting to reading the VIZ translations of the manga)

In the beginning...

We all know that Coco was introduced really early in the series, at the beginning of Puffer Whale. He explains that, in order to avoid being hunted down by scientists, he moved to Gourmet Fortune and became a fortune-teller. This is not only to avoid the scientists themselves, but (moreso in the anime), its also mentioned that he tries to avoid the general media, which the scientists could use to find him through.

Now, I don’t know if anyone else remembers, but I’ll include this screenshot from Episode 4: Prepare It! The Poisonous Puffer Whale! The Heavenly King Coco Appears! (Manga equivalent is Gourmet 11: Into the Cavern We Go!!)

(A bit unrelated, but anyone else notice that he literally flinches when Komatsu jumps on him? At first I thought it was just because... that’s what you do when someone jumps on you. But then I got a closer look at this screenshot and realized just how uncomfortable he looks — hell, he looks more like he’s in pain than like he’s been startled.)

I remember seeing this, and seeing his realization that Komatsu isn’t afraid of him. At first I was like: “Okay, yeah. He lives alone in the woods with his crow and avoids other human beings like the plague. He thinks everyone is afraid of him. Makes perfect sense.”

But then I started taking a closer look at his relationship with the rest of the family (Ichiryuu, Rin, and the other Kings), as well as the other characters in general. That’s when I noticed something:

We rarely (if ever) see Coco make physical contact with anyone that isn’t Toriko or Komatsu.

Now, of course, there’s probably some things I’ve missed. But I’ve been trying to keep track of this as I go back through the series.

One thing (shortly after that last screenshot takes place) that Coco mentions is that he’s confused that Komatsu is willing to touch him because of his poison. And a few seconds/pages prior, Toriko was explaining to Komatsu that Coco had been experimented on in the past, and he left his old life behind to live quietly and undisturbed in Gourmet Fortune. And from there, as more of Coco’s character is revealed, we realize that it’s not just people around him being concerned for their own health and well-being (we all remember the fangirls in Gourmet Fortune). It’s that Coco, as a general rule, doesn’t like being touched.

Now, at first (again, in the context of the previous screenshots), we think it’s because of his poison. A mix of “I don’t want to be poisoned” from others and “I don’t want to poison you” from Coco. And obviously (based off his response to Komatsu), this is going to play a part in the reason why.

But then again, I would like to remind you that Coco was, canonically, experimented on. And for those of you who haven’t seen this post I made, it’s actually canon that he was branded a “Dangerous Beast” (by the scientists) when he was either 11 or 12 years old (with the odds being in favour of 11, as he has a birthday fairly late in the year).

(Image from Volume 2: Coco!! (Gourmet 11: Into the Cavern We Go!!) - VIZ Media translation. Yes, it’s the same image from my last post. Sue me.)

Now of course, you can all theorize as to what, specifically, said experimentation entails. (Personally, it just sounds like it would involve a lot of blood-drawing, but again, I think Shimabukuro wants us to make our own theories on this.)

But there’s something else to consider: if his aversions to being around other people (especially being touched), stem more from fear/trauma than from a desire to protect others. (And I think we can all agree that it’s not just introversion... this is more than a little on the ‘extreme’ side)

Now, to be perfectly clear: I’m not really referring to the process of the experimentation. I’m actually referring more to the fact that he was hunted for experimentation, as opposed to the experiments themselves.

One thing that’s always bothered me was the fact that it was the IGO who were hunting him.

Why is this bothersome?

Because the IGO wants to prevent war by beating the evil Gourmet Corp to GOD. Because the president of the IGO goes behind the backs of the corrupt, evil men who hog the food and spend lavishly at the casino to deliver food to children in poverty. Because its very clearly established that Ichiryuu’s a good father! Because, when Sunny, as a child, accidentally broke a cup and cut his arm, instead of focusing on the broken cup, Ichiryuu’s first concern is to look after the cut on Sunny’s arm. 

Because the IGO are supposed to be the good guys.

So when we see them doing morally questionable (and in some cases, morally repulsive) things, it’s jarring.

And even more so for the characters.

Think about this from Coco’s perspective, as an 11 year old child. Just for a moment. Thus far, he has seen the IGO...

Deliver food supplies to children living in poverty

Adopt some of these children (himself included)

Nurse these weak, malnourished children back to health

Raise them in a generally loving environment

Train them to be skilled Gourmet Hunters

I’m sure you’re expecting me to say something like: “He was a literal child, children are trusting!” but looking at this, why wouldn’t he trust them?

And that’s the big thing to consider when looking at his behaviour towards the other characters: The IGO’s repeated experimentation (and attempts at experimentation) were a betrayal of his trust in them.

He’s not just avoiding the scientists and the media by giving up his career as a Hunter. He’s avoiding the IGO as a whole. They betrayed him, and he can’t trust them anymore.

And then I took that back to his general avoidance mannerisms. As I mentioned: Coco rarely (if ever) touches anyone who isn’t Toriko or Komatsu.

(Top left: Volume 15: Zebra!! (Gourmet 125:  Journey to the Underworld!!) Top right: Volume 2: Coco!! (Gourmet 9: The Days of the Four Kings!!) Bottom left: Episode 5: The Deadly Cave Battle! Fire, Five-Fold Spiked Punch! Bottom right: Volume 5: The Regal Plateau!! (Gourmet 41: Confrontation and Invasion!!))

The above collage I made is a bit messy, but I think it serves its purpose. Coco rarely makes physical contact with anybody, and when he does, its with Toriko and Komatsu (and apparently mostly for comedic purposes,)

One thing worth noting, though, is that he does, in fact, offer to shake Sunny’s hand when they meet at Regal Plateau. Sunny declines and responds with...

...but it is worth noting that the offer was made. Sure, this could be interpreted as Coco doing the obligatory Older Sibling job of irritating Sunny, but when he says this, his tone isn’t snide or sarcastic. Furthermore, Coco is known for his reserved nature, and isn’t the type to draw attention to something he doesn’t want noticed. If Coco was truly dead set against Sunny touching him, its very unlikely he would’ve pointed out that Sunny was retracting his Feelers (because, let’s be real, it would be pretty in-character for Sunny to then send out his Feelers solely out of spite)

And that’s pretty much it. He doesn’t even seem to let Ichiryuu or Mansam inside his personal bubble. Every time they’re seen together, he stays a good distance away.

That last part is especially interesting. If Coco was truly keeping his distance solely to avoid poisoning people, then it seems unlikely that he’d come closer to Toriko, Sunny, and especially Komatsu, but avoid Ichiryuu and Mansam. If anybody’s going to be safe for him to be around, Ichiryuu is definitely in the top 3, if not at the very top of the list.

So thus far, we have a few things worth noting on the point of Coco’s general avoidance of all other people:

Coco initially claims that he avoids other people (especially being touched by other people) because of his poison, and is surprised when Komatsu dismisses that concern — in fact, he actually comes to become very close to Komatsu (emotionally) shortly after. More on that later.

Coco was experimented on by the IGO as a child, which was a massive betrayal of his trust in them

The only people he will let touch him are Toriko, Komatsu, and Sunny. He keeps his distance from even Ichiryuu and Mansam.

When everything is accounted for, Coco’s avoidance of other people is more an issue of trust than one of concern for their safety.

While its true that Coco directly says that its an issue almost solely of concern (the aforementioned “I don’t want to poison anyone and nobody wants me to poison them” mentality), if anything, seems more like a defense he’s prepared if he’s asked about it. I wouldn’t call it a lie (if anything, he might’ve even convinced himself that its true — but that’s just further speculation), but its definitely not the hard truth.

Anime-only fans may be surprised by this, but in Volume 3: The Thing!! (Gourmet 17: A Taste of Poison!!), Coco says this:

Makes sense, right? When he gets startled by Starjun’s GT Robot in Cavern Lagoon (literally 4 pages later), he (seemingly instinctively) prepares an extremely lethal poison — and (in the manga) almost collapses afterwards as a result (Hmm... perhaps one day I could try and analyse the effects Coco experiences of using his poison? I think the whump fans might enjoy that one)

But back to the main point: the fact that Coco says this is... odd to me. “Odd” to the point that I went back to recap large parts of the series, and sure enough... I didn’t actually find much in the way of Coco consuming canon alcohol. Things implied to be alcoholic? Yes. Things canonically established to be alcoholic? Ehh... not really.

I could elaborate on that more, but I’ll get back to the point.

The key thing he says here is that he “loses control of his poison”. Again, this makes sense (because again, Starjun’s GT Robot seemed to trigger his poison, and that was an emotional reaction. Surely being drunk would have a similar effect?).

But as I’ve mentioned: he doesn’t go near Ichiryuu, Mansam, or really any other powerful characters. He even keeps Tylan at a distance, and Tylan specializes in neutralizing poison.

But Toriko, Komatsu, and Sunny? They most definitely could not handle most of Coco’s poisons. And in the previous collage (bottom left), Toriko is holding Coco after a fight, mere seconds after Coco had been using his poison, ruling out the possibility that its a matter of situation/circumstance.

Consider now: the relationships Coco has with Toriko, Komatsu, and Sunny.

Coco (at least, at the beginning of the series) is closest to Toriko. They’re on fairly good terms, and their fight with the Devil Python (while containing the occasional playful jab at the other) is not just coordinated, but cooperative. They work well together, and they seem to get along the best out of the Kings.

When it comes to Sunny, sure, their relationship is a little strained. Sunny is jealous of Coco’s ability to make entrances, and has no qualms about saying harsh things that are, on occasion, hurtful. And Coco is still somewhat standoffish towards Sunny. But that’s not to say that they don’t seem to get along at least decently well. Unlike with Zebra, they don’t yell or argue that much. They bond over certain topics, and will still work together.

...I don’t think I need to say anything about Komatsu. Everyone likes Komatsu.

But look at these relationships compared to each other. What do they have in common?

Though they may not be the smoothest of relationships, they are at least decently trusting in nature. These are people that Coco knows he can trust.

Recall again, that Coco has had his trust in the IGO shattered by his past.

So, back to Anon’s question

How is Coco’s relationship to Ichiryuu/the other Kings presented?

Okay, so I may have strayed off topic a bit. But, well, Anon asked for more rants/analyses.

So, what does all that have to do with how Coco's relationships with the rest of the family are presented?

Well... it technically has nothing to do with it. But hear me out:

In terms of just presentation, I could sum it up in a list:

Toriko: Coco and Toriko arguably have the best relationships out of the Kings. They not only are willing to work with the other, but they automatically work together. I'd say more, but then I'd just be restating what I said earlier

Sunny: Coco and Sunny get along well enough, but its shown that they're not on the best of terms. Their relationship is somewhat strained, and they're both prone to slighting the other. Nevertheless, they're on decent terms. (Again, not gonna restate everything)

Zebra: Coco is shown to strongly dislike Zebra, especially early on. Most notably, he refuses to go with Toriko to pick up Zebra from prison without a second thought. However, due to Coco's generally docile nature, they don't get into huge fights like Toriko and Sunny do with Zebra.

Ichiryuu: ...It's complicated. While (as I said before) Ichiryuu is shown to be a generally gentle and caring father, this post elaborates a bit more on some of what could be extrapolated from the facts that Ichiryuu runs the IGO, and that the IGO has done some pretty awful things to Coco.

But, well, that's kind of a gross oversimplification of what is understood through context and offhanded comments about the past.

Because, when everything's been accounted for, Coco trusts Toriko and Sunny. Not just in the way that "they'd probably save his life if they had to", because let's be real, Ichiryuu would do that. Rin would do that. Hell, Zebra would do that.

But Ichiryuu runs the IGO. He's the president of the entire organization. And as I've mentioned in the past, he's not stupid. Goofy? Yes, but not stupid. Ignorant? Well, sometimes seemingly so for comedic effect, but he’s never proven to miss important things when it matters most.

When his child is being subjected to literal human experimentation, he can't pretend he doesn't know. And if he's the PRESIDENT OF THE IGO, he can't pretend he doesn't have the power to stop it. He's letting this happen. He's complacent in letting Coco be experimented on — something that's clearly established to be traumatizing. In the second picture featured, Toriko directly says: "He's gone through a lot of bad times. Enough to quit being a Gourmet Hunter."

Sure, as a general rule, Coco is presented with having generally decent relationships with everyone else. But when it comes to how he truly feels about most of the other characters (especially when taken in the context of his past, which perfectly enough, is what Anon was asking for), its a general distrust in almost everyone. (Because he was betrayed by the IGO, of all organizations.)

Now, what I’m about to say is fairly off-topic, but then again, what in this WALL OF TEXT wasn’t?

One thing I’m sure many of us find to be at least somewhat irritating is when introversion is treated as a character flaw that has to be “fixed”. Its never quite sat right with me when I see an introvert be “fixed” into being an extrovert by the end of a story.

But strangely enough, they didn’t really do this with Coco.

Not because he stayed an introvert the whole series (though really, he did stay fairly reserved).

But, because the extreme lengths he was willing to go to in order to avoid other people? The things he did that went beyond introversion in order to stay away from people?

Those are things we see lessening over the course of the series. Sure, he may still live on a precipice in the woods, but after Cooking Fest, he invites Sunny and Zebra over.

Think about those with that scene towards the end of Puffer Whale in mind:

(Screenshot taken from Episode 6: The Knocking Master! Time to Taste the Puffer Whale!)

Again, I’m going to end this rant on an invitation for further speculation. I wonder if most of Coco’s character development is less about him overcoming his fears of his poison (or, if you want to get philosophical, his fear of himself), and more about overcoming the fear of himself he came to develop after a series of very traumatic experiences (being convinced by these scientists that he’s a “Dangerous Beast” that should be locked up), and gradually coming to be able to trust people again?

---

And of course, feel free to add to this in the notes! Or laugh at the sheer amount of time I’ve spent analysing this. Or yell at me for being too confusing and not just answering the question directly.

[aspenflower17]

Finding You (Part Four of ??)

Hewwo! I am back with another update on my Finding You fic! If you didn’t catch my last mini update (link here), I was having some trouble getting what I wanted onto the page. BUT, I have now figured it out (and have even made the barebone plans for the other brother’s version of this story!).

If you’re just joining us, here is the link for Part One. I would recommend starting there if you want to read this fic (which I would like very much).

Anywho, this update is of a normal length (for me). We’re also jumping forward in time. I realized the first line of this update might seem like a continuation of the scene we had had last with Mc, but it’s not :)

Tag for the peeps: @simpingforsatan and @naimena. (If you want to be on this list, just ask in a comment below!)

F!Mc / Satan

Word Count: 2284 (story under the cut)

Trigger Warnings: None that I can think of

Mc closed the letter, trying to contain her excitement.

“Well, what does it say?”

“Lord Diavolo is specifically asking if I’d consider bringing my show to the Devildom. He has offered the castle as free lodging for as long as I am in the Devildom, which has no expiration!”

“That’s incredible Mc! You’ve never shown in the Devildom have you?”

“Not yet. I went when I was a child, and I really enjoyed it there. After MoMA I was thinking of reaching out to ask if they’d be interested, but then they put the exchange program on hold due to Gabriel’s behavior down there…”

“I still can’t believe he’d act that way.”

“Oh I can. He’s so radicalized I’m surprised he was allowed down there at all.”

“Still…”

“We all know how you feel about Gabriel, Abihail,” Mc teased.

“No! I don’t… I… No!”

Mc raised her eyebrows, but let the topic drop, “The question now is if they’ll let me go down.”

“I’m sure Simeon would be more than happy to let you go down. Luke may not be as… enthusiastic, but he should be proud his little sister was invited to show in the Devildom.”

“They’re not who I’m worried about. I have to go through Michael.”

“Oh, that shouldn’t be a problem. He knows how responsible you are. Consider how many times he’s allowed you down to the human realm for a show.”

Mc tried to match Abihail’s excitement, but Michael had gotten weird after Gabriel’s behavior in the Devildom. She reasoned it must have been because he had been the one to send him to the Devildom for the exchange program, though he had acted differently ever since she had gotten back to the Celestial Realm from that trip as a child.

She started reading the books he had recommended, very grateful he had included notes on what he called “trigger warnings” explaining that he knew angels were more sensitive to certain subjects. The books inspired her to become a polymath, though she didn’t learn the term until she was older. Her real expertise was in the arts, painting, drawing, photography, sculpting, poetry, and music among her most recognized accomplishments. She was also skilled in conversation and had at least a basic understanding of most academic subjects, excelling in some.

It was Simeon who suggested she hold her first art show. The show was such a success, Mc found herself inundated with offers from various other angels to showcase her work, some offering to bring her art to the human realm. Such was the environment Mc grew up in, and grow up fast she did. An angel’s physical and mental age were dependent on the angel’s understanding of various things, their age not getting much past what would be considered a human’s prime. Mc was voracious in her learning, and as such, she found herself quickly reaching the maturity she would stay at for the rest of her existence. Luke, not to be shown up by his little sister, also started growing at a crazy rate. In the end, they both ended up reaching maturity at the same time. Once she reached it, she started having shows in the human realm, finding the understanding of humans to be better than a lot of angels at times. Her fellow brothers and sisters were certainly great, but many of them didn’t seem to try to better themselves, and so she found herself drowning in their mundane chatter much of the time. It actually spurred most of the art they loved so much. She had found herself researching the Devildom more and more, wondering what S would think about certain subjects, or how he would react to her art. He had suggested many art books for her to look through, most of them showing he had a great understanding of art; what would he think of her new piece? Did he like classical music? What kind of poetry did he prefer to read? She came back to the list he’d written her many times, trying her best to understand the man who had believed in her enough as a child to expand her world. It made her feel less lonely, a problem that seemed was always going to plague her. It was nice to have another supporter, as she wasn’t getting much support from Michael, though she wasn’t dependent on it.

Though he never outwardly said it, she almost felt like Michael had never approved of her art, unless it was of a landscape or something else just as tame. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand art either, having gone with her to many other art shows and was able to intelligently speak on the art he saw there. It wouldn’t have bugged her as much as it did had he not interjected himself into her life after that trip as much as he had. She’d read many books as she could find trying to understand what was going on with him, causing her to research many different psychological phenomena, but none of it seemed correct. The closest she could find was a very mild form of Mother Hen Syndrome, though even that didn’t seem to accurately describe what was going on. She had never tried to breach the subject of going to the Devildom with Michael, even after he was put in charge of travel between Realms.

When she’d found out about Gabriel’s stunt in the Devildom, she’d figured her chance of going to the Devildom was gone. The exchange program being put on hold confirmed her theory, and even her shows in the human realm were greatly reduced. Though it had been awhile, she had never tried to push to get her shows back, as she knew pushing with Michael rarely worked out the way she wanted it to. Now that she’d been invited down there however, it would be rude to refuse wouldn’t it?

“Why don’t we go and ask him right now? He may have even received a letter from Lord Diavolo himself.” Abihail’s voice brought her out of her thoughts.

“That might make it so he has to warm up to the idea. Let him come to the conclusion himself…”

“I don’t know. I think it’ll be harder for him to say no if he knows that you want to go.”

“I want ideas on bargaining should he say no though. Never go into battle unprepared.”

“You really feel like this is going to be a battle?” Abihail asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yes. You also should stop questioning me all the time.:

“Well, I think the best idea to counter if he says no is inviting him to come with you. That way he can make sure the “reputation of the Celestial Realm remains untainted” or at least helps repair any damage that’s been done.”

“Hmmm… That’s the final bargaining chip then.”

”Honestly, I think it’s the only one you’ll need.”

“Oh no, I’ll need more. Let’s see, why would I want to go?”

“Just be honest. You need more material for inspiration. That’s why you want to go right?”

“Oh, that’s true… Good idea,” Mc complimented, hoping it wasn’t obvious that wasn’t exactly why she wanted to go. It was her cover story when anyone caught her researching the Devildom. It definitely wasn’t for a change of pace or a certain blonde demon who had given her the best life advice she’d ever received. Who had taught her mediocrity wasn’t the only way to live. Nope. Definitely not that.

“Well, there we go. I think you’re set.”

“Nope. I need at least one more bargaining chip.”

“Ugh, what about that Luke goes with you?”

“That’s… Not a terrible idea.”

“Of course it’s not. Will you go talk with Michael now?”

“How serendipitous. I was looking to speak with you Mc,” Michael’s voice came from behind the conversing angels.

“You really need to stop sneaking up on me like that,” Mc exclaimed, her hand over her heart.

“Ah, but it’s so entertaining. Oh, don't look at me like that Mc. Anyways, I do need to talk to you if you’re available.”

“I am,” Mc said, getting up and dusting off her skirt. Abihail gave her a huge thumbs up when Michael’s back was turned.

When the pair was far enough from other people, Michael began speaking without ceremony, “I don’t approve of you going to the Devildom.”

“I figured you wouldn’t. I do want to go though. I need fresh inspiration for my art, and I would like to experience the culture of the Devildom.”

“Why would you want to go down there though?”

“Besides the reasons I already listed? I would like to see where Simeon and Luke spent time through the eyes of an adult. I did enjoy my time there as a child, and I would like to return.”

“Do I need to remind you of the danger you were in last time?”

“I would like to counter that point by reminding you I am an adult now. My powers have fully manifested at this point, and I can fly just as well as anyone else. I have studied multiple different cultures, including the Devildom, which is more than Luke did when he first went down.”

“You allowed a demon to guide you to who knows where.”

“As a child. If you don’t trust me, I am not opposed to Luke joining me down there.”

“I’m still not convinced. I’m just trying to help you make the best decision.”

“I feel, in light of whatever problems Gabriel caused down there, this might help international relations. It seems rude to decline the ruler of the Devildom when I’ve had so many shows in the Human Realm and none in the Devildom, partially because I wasn’t sure if they wanted my work to be shown down there. Now that I have an express invitation to showcase my work, I feel I should take it,” Mc glanced over to Michael’s face and saw it start to harden, and sensing a no on his lips, she pulled out her trump card, “If it makes you feel better, you can definitely come too. That way, you can rest assured that the Celestial Realm is being represented in a positive light.”

The abrupt change in Michael’s face almost made Mc start celebrating. She had him with that last part, she knew she did.

“You wouldn’t be opposed to me joining you?”

“Not if relations between the Devildom are as strained as I’ve been led to believe.”

“Hmmm.. I will need to discuss it with Father, considering my many duties, but… that could work.”

Mc allowed herself a smile, though she really wanted to shout in triumph, “Thank you Michael. I think this will be the next step in my artistic journey.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why do I always end up back here?” Luke whined, as he watched out the window.

Mc didn’t give him a response. His denial of how much he actually enjoyed the Devildom was always entertaining to her. She knew he was in almost consistent contact with Barbatos, who she had found out was Diavolo’s butler.

She herself was too excited to talk much in case she let slip just how much she wanted to be down here. Lord Diavolo had been more than welcoming when she had explained she’d have to bring two more in her entourage, allowing them to join her in the castle.

The Devildom seemed much as she remembered it. The neon of all the signs, glowing in the eternal dusk sent her hands into a sketching frenzy, poetry filling the next page or two only to find more sketches further down.

Michael seemed nervous however. Once they had stepped from the portal into the twilight, he had been on edge. Seeing the Nightmare’s that were pulling the carriage that had been sent to deliver them to the castle had certainly frightened him. Mc had only pulled out her camera and started taking photos of them, hoping she had figured out her settings properly. He had been fidgeting the whole carriage ride, the view of the castle only making things worse.

Finally, Mc couldn’t take it anymore, “Michael, are you alright?”

“Heh, of course I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Simeon was kind of like this when we first came down to the Devildom for the exchange program,” Luke offered.

“He was?” Michael asked, a tad desperately.

“Yeah. He kept muttering about seeing Lucifer and the others again.”

Michael seemed to take comfort in the knowledge and the rest of the trip up to the castle gates was fairly quiet. Mc really couldn’t understand the fervor that seemed to grip some of the angels when they talked about Lucifer, “Maybe I’ll understand after this trip,” she thought idly, another strain of poetry coming to mind.

“Mc, we’re almost there. You should probably put your notebook and pencils away,” Luke offered.

The first mote of apprehension pricked Mc, her notebook quickly put in her pack, “Does my hair look okay?”

“Yes.”

“Does mine?”

“Yes Michael.”

“You didn’t even look.”

Luke raised his head to look at Michael, “Like I thought. Impeccable.”

“He’s not in a very good mood is he?” Michael whispered to Mc, causing her to giggle.

The carriage came to a stop, and the door opened, revealing an imposing figure in red and a shorter figure in black with green accents. Michael let out an audible breath, and got up from his seat to head towards the door.

“I was right. He’s worried about seeing Lucifer again.”

Mc decided to leave the discussion for a later time, as she wanted her head clear for this meeting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 5

[marvelmadam08]

Baby Blues 11/?

Summary: Ace goes to his first doctor’s visit, and Alex checks in with her doctor.

Warnings: First shots, crying, doctor visits, slight jealousy. Fluffy Dad!Chris content. Body insecurities, health concerns, and mentions of sex.

A/N: Rest in Power to Chadwick Boseman, our Black Panther and King. He gave us so much while battling cancer, not just Black Panther. The work he has done in the amount of time he had left a mark, and cannot be replicated. Chadwick Boseman has been such a force in Hollywood that no one could ever forget him. My heart goes out to all his close friends and family.

Also, let’s not make this about Black Panther 2.

~~~~~~

6 Weeks Old

“I mean they can program a robot to perform surgery on a grape but they still have to jab a n-e-e-d-l-e into my baby’s skin for vaccinations.” Alex glared at a few of the other moms in the waiting room, eyeing Chris up and down with Ace. 

Chris fed him while Alex filled out the medical file. He was noisy drinking from the bottle, but he took to bottle feeding easier than Alex expected. She watched from the corner of her eye, Chris was a natural, jumping right into action whenever Ace needed something. Seeing him walk around the house with Ace never got old. He was always singing songs to him, some made up. Alex’s favorite so far was the one called ‘Doggies Are Friendly’, in attempts to get Ace to warm up to Dodger. No luck.

Overall seeing Chris Evans with a baby was enough to get any woman excited, and willing to give him more. So she could understand the gazes he got from the other moms, but that didn’t mean she had to just sit there and let them undress her husband with their eyes.

“Al, he can’t understand you.” He watched Ace, unaware of the extra eyes lusting after him

“He’s intuitive Chris, he knows what I mean." Alex frowned, thinking about the how upset Ace would be once he got his shots. She always thought her mother was being overprotective when she was younger but now she understood it completely. She could hear him crying now, and the thought made her eyes sting.

Chris finally looked up, after hearing the infliction in Alex’s voice ”What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t say that, we’re not gonna bottle up our feelings.” 

She half shrugged “I guess it’s a mental thing. I mean I know he has to get the shots- I just feel like I’m a monster, purposefully putting him through pain.”

“Baby, it’s a required check up, the first of many shots down the road. You aren’t a monster, you’re a mother.” 

“Evans?” the nurse called out from behind the counter

“Are you gonna be okay?” Chris asked as they stood, shifting Ace against his shoulder to burp him

“If you’re asking me if I’m gonna cry, I’m making no promises.” she quickly admitted

Alex hovered over the nurse while she weighed and measured Ace, and checked his heartbeat. Ace’s face when the cold stethoscope touched his chest was adorably deadpan. However, Chris was the one with all the questions, discussing development stages with the nurse the entire time. Going over Ace’s feeding and sleeping routine, asking if the amount of sleep was too little or too much. Would changing the baby wipes would cause any rashes. How soon would it be before hiding out if he was actually allergic to food or animals. And he jotted it all down in his phone, Alex stopped the nurse short when she offered to give Chris her number for any future questions.

“Al, I can hold him.” Chris offered once it was time for the vaccine shots

“No, it’s fine. I can handle it.” She kept Ace’s head turned away facing Chris. The nurse took a step closer, syringe in hand, Alex moved away slightly. “Sorry.”

The nurse tried again, Alex turned the other way.

“Mrs. Evans, I need you to stop moving him.”

“Al-”

“Okay, you hold him.” she conceded, before handing Ace over to Chris

She chewed her nail and watched from her new spot. Ace cried the second the nurse stuck him, Chris felt tears rising to his eyes. He went to wipe them away before anyone could see but more spilled over hearing the cries getting louder. Ace fidgeted against Chris, a heartbreaking attempt for him to move away from whatever stuck him.

“It’s okay baby.” Alex did her best to soothe him while the nurse prepped for another shot. She looked up at Chris, his cheeks wet but he kept his face straight, Alex wiped the tears away from her husband’s face before repeating “It’s okay baby.”

Seeing Ace’s lip poke out while the nurse moved in to stick him again nearly made Chris go into full defense mode, but he bit the inside of his cheek when the crying started again. Ace’s, not his.

“It’s okay honey, we’re all done with the shots.” the nurse soothed, covering the puncture points with small smiley face band-aids

“Yay, all done!” Alex clapped while Chris kissed the top of his son’s head to calm him “You okay?” Alex gave her husband some comforting back rubs

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He sniffled

"Good because now we have to go to my appointment."

***

After chewing down the nails on her left hand, Alex was half through her right one when she was called into her doctor’s exam room. Chris offered to go in with her, but she quickly declined, knowing she would have to be undressed for part, if not most, of the check-up. She done her own self-examination last night, seeing how different she looked down there. 

She didn’t want to be vain about it, but the first thing that popped in her head once she looked was how much she needed to get a wax. The second was equally as vain as it was humbling when she thought about having sex with Chris again. Her husband, AKA, Captain freaking America, who could eat to his hearts content and still come out looking as cut as the day she met him. Alex wanted to kick him and kiss him at the same time.

“Well Alex,” her doctor spoke, going over her notes “my main concern for you right now, is your blood pressure. It’s a little higher than usual, what’s your diet like at home?”

“More red meat than before, loads of pasta.” Alex paused to think “I tried string peas, y’know just for research purposes, surprisingly good.”

She chuckled “I tended to lean towards the squash when my first kid was born, but peas were a close second. What about stress?”

Alex shrugged “Fine, I guess. I mean, I can deal with it.”

“Alex, you can’t take this lightly. Stress can be just as harmful as smoking, for both you and your son. You are still breast feeding right?”

“Yes, and I started pumping.”

She jotted down some more notes “Mhmm, and how’s that going? No issues? Low milk supply? Pain while nursing?”

“Aside from the nipple chaffing, not really.” Alex picked at her nails, her doctor noticed

“Alex, I can’t help if you’re not one hundred percent honest with me. It’s bad enough we have doctors that downplay our symptoms because of a bullshit theory that Black people, specifically Black women, have higher pain tolerance. Don’t put on a brave face, not when it comes to your health.”

“Well when you put it like that- I hate pumping, I hate feeding sometimes too. It’s like a bunch of pins and needles sticking me when I do it, just sucking the life out of me. I don’t recognize my body anymore, and I’m warning you now, it’s not pretty down there. As for the stress, my husband and I have been fighting over what’s best for Ace, and our marriage. Which makes me concerned for when I go back to working. My Dad damn near broke his back, my son won’t sleep for longer than an hour, and I think he hates our family dog.” Alex exhaled a sharp breath 

“You feel better?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“If you don’t like the feel you have when pumping when why do it?”

“Chris wants to be included in feed Alexander, my son, which I get. He’s gonna be back and forth between working and home again, so he wants his chance to bond with him.”

“But breast feeding is also uncomfortable to you?”

“Only when he fights trying to latch, but once he does and he’s calm, it’s worth it.”

“Have you ever considered formula? Lots of new moms do it, even rotated between that and breast milk. It’s actually proven to help both the mom and the baby.”

“We’ve talked about it, I voted against it.”

“I’m not saying you should, ultimately it’s your choice, but I will recommend, giving it a shot considering the stress you might be going through.” she scribbled down a few more notes “Now physically, how do you feel?”

“In my vagina?”

“There too. Please scoot forward and lay back for me.”

Alex followed orders and put her legs in the stirrups “Mostly tired, out of everything I’m exhausted. I’ve been walking to try and slim down a bit, but the weight isn’t going anywhere.”

“That’s to be expected, a lot of new moms hope for the baby weight to drop right off.” Alex’s doctor explained while pulling on her gloves “However, a lot of it is your uterus trying to shrink back to it’s regular size after being stretched out for nine months. Perfectly normal to like your body isn’t the same anymore, because it’s not. It gets easier the more kids you have.”

Alex chuckled “I don’t plan on having another one for a while.”

“Are you taking birth control?”

“No, Ace’s spit up on my clothes is all the birth control I need right now.” Alex shifted slightly “Plus I don’t really get in the mood too often now a days. Not sure if it’s emotional or mental but I’m just not ready to bring intimacy back in just yet.”

“Well physically, you’re good to go. Stitches are all healed, no signs of infection or tears. I will recommend going easy though, as well as a birth control, in case your mood changes.”

“Thanks, what do you recommend for my marriage?” Alex asked jokingly

“I have an acquaintance who’s a marriage counselor. I can give you her contact information if you like.”

“Um- I think I’ll pass this time Doc.”

“Okay then, I’ll let you get dressed and just talk to Toni at the desk before you leave to set up your next appointment.”

Chris stood once he saw Alex reenter the waiting room, Ace was fast asleep in the carrier.

“What did your doctor say? How are you doing?”

Alex did her best not to hesitate “A little concerned about my diet, said my blood pressure was a bit high, but overall-”

“Are you okay?”

“Chris, let me finish.” she gave him a reassuring smile “I gotta fix my diet, limit my stress and my blood pressure will be fine.”

“What did she say about- other things?” he hinted, a light blush creeping to his cheeks

“Well- my insatiable husband- I should wait a little longer. Nothing is wrong it’s just what she recommends.”

Chris nodded “Okay, not a problem.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders “We’ll wait, doctor’s orders.”

“Doctor’s orders.”

[setsuna-maru]

Rin in Every Episode of Inuyasha: A Retrospective

I decided to start this series because I feel like Rin’s been getting a bad rap lately, particularly since the premier of Yashahime and even more so now that she’s been revealed to be the mother of Towa and Setsuna.

For that reason, I’ve decided to do a retrospective of every episode in Inuyasha in which Rin appears, in order to explore her wonderful character.

I originally intended to do her introductory episode in one post but it got pretty unwieldy so I divided it into two parts. This is Part 1.

Episode 35 begins with Sesshoumaru at pretty much his lowest point in the series. Inuyasha has already cut off his arm and taken his father’s heirloom sword, the Tetsaiga, and now, his younger brother has come out on top, again. Sesshoumaru is 0-3 at this point. The battle against Inuyasha that takes up the first third of this episode sees Sesshoumaru barely escaping with his life and badly wounded. This episode is titled The True Owner of the Great Sword! and the Tenseiga initially displays it’s loyalty to it’s reluctant master by engulfing him in light, saving him from Inuyasha’s attack.

(It’s also been suggested that the sentient Tenseiga purposely transported Sesshoumaru to the location he convalesces in, knowing he would meet Rin there and allow him to develop the compassion needed to wield it, although that’s a theory for another day.)

Enter Rin

Rin’s first appearance in the Inuyasha anime occurs at 10:29 of Episode 35:  The True Owner of the Great Sword! The first indication of her presence is a couple of seconds earlier in the form of some rustling bushes.

A moment later, we get our first glimpse of a young human girl peeking out from behind a tree.

Sesshoumaru attempts to scare her off and it cuts to her reaction. Up close, we can see that Rin is not a well taken care of child. Her face is filthy and her kimono is dull and worn.

Though Rin is startled at first, she quickly regains her composure; her expression morphing from fright into steely resolve.

Rin doesn’t speak in her first appearance and her muteness actually adds to the strength of her characters introduction. Writers are always told “show, don’t tell” and by letting Rin’s actions speak for themselves, the audience see’s Rin personality revealed through her behavior and is left to guess at her motivations.

Back to the scene; Rin cautiously approaches Sesshoumaru, despite his threatening action. Maybe she’s aware that he’s too seriously injured to be a real danger to her but she probably doesn’t know enough about demons to know that for sure. Regardless, here she is showing her bravery, compassion and curiosity overcoming her own sense of self-preservation.

This entire scene is less than 15 seconds long but it already teaches us so much about Rin’s character. It leaves a bold impression: A tiny, defenseless human girl willingly approaching one of the most fearsome yokai in the Sengoku.

The next scene in which Rin appears seems to take place later that night and in it, Rin’s intentions become clear. Having left water for the injured Sesshoumaru, she returns with food. Again, we’re getting a good picture of who Rin is as a person through her actions alone. She’s the type of kid who will find a wounded but dangerous demon in the woods and decide to take it upon herself to take care of him. 

(It’s also worth pointing out that Rin is a poor orphan with little access to food and still chooses to share whatever sustenance she can find with a complete stranger.)

As Rin turns to leave, Sesshoumaru speaks to her–it’s implied–for the first time. He tells her that he doesn’t eat human food and she should mind her own business.

Rin and Sesshoumaru’s first meeting is reminiscent of the ‘stranded together’ or ‘locked in a room’ tropes where, as a result of being trapped in the same place, two characters are forced to interact who might otherwise had never had an opportunity or willingness to bond with one another.

While Rin isn’t trapped there, Sesshoumaru certainly is and had he been fully mobile, never would’ve found himself have been in a position where he’d be conversing with a random human girl.

Rin leaves and we next her catching fish in ravine. She’s discovered by the village men and beaten for stealing. She passively accepts the beating, not struggling or putting up any resistance and there’s a definite implication that this is something that’s happened before and that she’s used to.

This is also the first scene where we're told about Rin’s backstory and what happened that cause her to be in the state she’s in. Unlike the mostly “show, don’t tell” nature of the rest of Rin’s story in this episode, it’s one of those clunky exposition dumps where the characters tell each other information they should already know for the sake of the audience. We hear from the villagers that Rin is an orphan as a result of her family being killed by bandits. They also reveal that this incident occurred in front of her and is the reason for Rin’s muteness.

We see Rin limp away and in the next scene, she again approaches Sesshoumaru with an offer of food. He again declines, despite Rin’s wordless insistence. When we see Rin’s face again, her eye is swollen shut and she has bruises–the result of her beating by the villagers.

Rin is disappointed by his refusal to accept her help but a moment later Sesshoumaru does something that would’ve previously seemed unbelievable for character; earnestly inquiring about someone else’s welfare.

Rin’s face really say’s it all.

This the breakthrough moment. Sesshoumaru let’s his guard down, if only slightly, and attempts to make a connection. A connection to a human girl who won’t stop trying to help him no matter how uninterested he tries to make himself seem. This moment is Rin’s patience and persistence paying off.

Sesshoumaru tells her that it’s okay if she doesn’t want to talk. Again, Sesshoumaru being gentle and reassuring to another person is not something we’d gotten even a hint of from him before this. Rin stares at him in disbelief for several moments before her face breaks into a huge, toothy smile—the first one we see from her since she was introduced.

This confuses Sesshoumaru, who doesn’t understand why something as simple as asking her how she got the bruises on her face would warrant such a reaction.

It’s probably not a stretch to imagine that Rin’s reaction isn’t just because it’s Sesshoumaru specifically whose asking her this. Considering how she’s been shown to be treated by the other villagers, this might be the first time in quite a while (since her family was killed at least) that anyone has expressed an interest in her well-being.

But yeah, while Rin may not be aware of it, it is pretty special that Sesshoumaru, Sesshoumaru, hater of humans, will murder you for looking at him the wrong way, biggest asshole of the Sengoku not named Naraku, is the one who ends up showing this poor, neglected orphan the slightest bit of humanity.

Anyway, that’s a wrap for now. I’ll continue my run-down of Rin’s first episode in Part 2.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

As an Undertale fan, what are your thoughts on Chara?

(Rubbing hands together) I have. A lot to say about this.

Chara is such a fascinating and sympathetic figure in the story. In some ways, I even hesitate to call them a character (even though I know their name is a play on the word) because they are only ever alluded to in the story and have no spoken lines, barring a very psychedelic scene at the end of No-Mercy that may or may not have even been them, it was rather ambiguous. Their presence is definitely felt throughout the story, however. You can see them, just as you see Asriel, in the other characters. The haunted look in the eyes of their parents. Not to mention, the plot could not have happened in the way it did without Chara’s fall. I’ve said before that the story begins and ends with Asriel, and it does...but the same could be said of Chara. 

Good or Evil?

The main question people have when it comes to this character is how involved they are with the events that occur, and what was their true nature? Were they a disturbed, evil child? Hell bent on slaughtering humanity and later the monsters? Were they just using Asriel? Or...was Chara a victim? An innocent child who wanted to do the right thing and died to save the society that rescued them? There’s no arguing that Chara was a saint - Asriel himself admits by the end of Pacifist that they were not the greatest person. But there’s a difference between being a snarky, traumatized hero, and being a hateful, wicked villain. I would say from the start that I question the validity of calling any child “evil.” On the other hand, Asriel did some pretty messed up things as Flowey, and it’s universally accepted that whoever was driving the No-Mercy Route, be it Frisk or Chara, was making evil decisions. There are also those who would point to you, the player, for making those choices...but for the sake of the fourth wall, I’m not to discount those interpretations. I want to talk about the characters, not the “anomaly.” 

Here’s the thing. If Chara is responsible for the No-Mercy Route, if we follow the theory that they possessed Frisk, and that by the end they were in complete control - which is supported by a lot of the end-game red text - well, then to be entirely fair, we also have to credit them for the Pacifist Ending. If Chara was somehow reincarnated in Frisk, then that was true in every timeline, surely. We can’t condemn Chara and make them shoulder the blame for No-Mercy, while also declining to give them credit for the golden ending. Hell, Asriel has canonically taken the No-Mercy Route several times, by his own admission - I swear, everyone forgets that. If we don’t demonize Asriel for this, it seems wrong to do the same thing to Chara, even if No-Mercy was entirely their fault. 

“I should have laughed it off, like you did.” 

There is also some evidence that perhaps Chara wasn’t a very nice kid even before the Undertale story begins. People have suggested that they intentionally tried to kill Asgore, for example, with the Buttercup incident. However, I think people are forgetting that that was a joint effort. Asriel and Chara were both involved in making that pie, and we have no way of knowing which of them made the mistake. Yes, Chara did laugh about it later, but it’s not unheard of for people to laugh in horrifying situations, simply to cope with it. Sirius Black from Harry Potter was said to laugh when he was arrested for facilitating the murder of his best friends. Spoiler alert, he was innocent. Chara is a kid, and Asgore didn’t actually die. I don’t think we should assume that they intended to do this, or that they took pleasure from his pain. 

The day Asriel died.

Chara’s gambit, the one that ultimately got Asriel killed and reborn as Flowey, is pretty ambiguous. First and foremost, we cannot blame Chara for what happened to Asriel. They wanted to fight back against the humans. Asriel resisted doing this. It seems very clear that whatever else was going on, Chara did not plan for Asriel to die, and they tried to stop it from happening. Otherwise, there are hints that they wanted this confrontation to happen, and that maybe that was why they took their body with them to the surface. Here’s the thing - killing humans was already part of the plan. It wasn’t like they were tricking Asriel into that - both of them knew they’d have to claim some human souls to break the barrier. Chara may have calculated that the humans would assume Asriel killed them and attack as a result - but that would simply be triggering the altercation that they and Asriel had planned on creating anyway. 

The “Charrator” Theory

After this happened, Asriel was reborn as Flowey...and Chara is hinted to have became Frisk’s unseen companion. Perhaps Frisk’s fall disturbed their rest, since Frisk did land on top of the golden flowerbed that Chara is implied to have been buried under. There’s a major theory that the narrator of all the game’s text is actually Chara’s spirit. It would explain how the narration knows things that Frisk would have no way of knowing, like when you can “check” monsters in battle. Plus, the somewhat snarky sense of humor in the narration, yet still overall hopeful personality...well, it lines up a lot without how Chara was suggested to behave. There are other moments too, like how shocked the narrator seems when Asriel calls Frisk, addressing them as Chara. Or how the narrator falls silent when Asriel breaks down during the end of his fight. They also push Frisk to save him. Not to mention this is hinted far more in the No-Mercy path. It’s made blatant with lines like “The date I came here.” and “Still has that sweater.” and even “My bed.” So, yeah, I tend to subscribe to this theory a lot. 

What happened to Chara? 

My belief is that Chara was confused and traumatized and not at all sure what happened when they were first reborn in Frisk - either because they were haunting them, or because they were reincarnated. Hell, that might have been why Frisk climbed Mt. Ebbot. - In a way very similar to how Flowey was confused and scared when he first resurrected. I believe Frisk’s actions help Chara rediscover who they are. If Asriel can be forgiven for having to re-learn things like compassion after something as traumatizing as being murdered, can’t Chara be given the same patience? They died twice. Can’t it be assumed that they might need the same rehabilitation? I believe Chara learns from Frisk’s choices. One theory I’ve seen that I really like, is that they felt embittered toward Asriel for completely screwing the plan, by refusing to fight back. Hence Flowey asking “No hard feelings about back then, right?” Hence why Chara, after being on the No-Mercy Route for that long, might feel so much contempt for him that they slash him half a dozen times like we see. By completing Pacifist, Frisk teaches Chara what Asriel already knew - that any situation can be resolved peacefully, and thus refusing to fight back was the right choice. At which point, Chara is able to properly move on and rest. Having grown to the point of understanding that their hatred of humanity was not healthy. 

That’s another thing, we never find out why Chara hated humanity so strongly. The same way we never find out why Frisk climbed Mt. Ebbot. It’s left to mystery. There are plenty of reasons it could be true. It could be as simple as them being infuriated at what humanity did to the monsters. Or maybe it suggests something worse, like abuse or neglect. Chara tripped, so we know it wasn’t a suicide attempt, but...I mean, what were they planning? The actual fall was an accident, but were they going to jump anyway? That’s the thing. Chara is jaded. They recognize the evil in the world and it makes them pessimistic. They hate humanity and thus they hate them-self, most likely. Ever notice how Chara’s plan to break the barrier results in their human body dying, and them living on as a Monster instead? Maybe it was coincidental, but I can’t imagine they minded. Still, they were willing to die to bring freedom to the Monsters, and they seemed to live in harmony with them for...well, it had to be at least a couple of years. 

TL;DR: I’m a Chara fan. A major fan, actually. I find them fascinating and I don’t blame them at all for what happens in No-Mercy. I also love the Charrator Theory. Any head-canon is valid, but I really don’t vibe with the idea that Chara is a “demon” child. 

[ilikekidsshows]

While I understand what you're trying to say, what's the point of Catalyst then? If he really can create more than one akuma at a time, why did he never do that before and why create Catalyst at all? Besides, in Heroes Day, Hawk Moth says to Lady and Cat: "You're still so green, young superheroes. You can't even stay transformed after you've used your powers.", so they set up the "Adults can use their powers without detransforming" at the very least since then.

Also, (something I didn't notice at the time), in Startrain, in the same scene you brought up, Gabriel says this after finding out where Adrien is: "He's up in space! And there's nothing I can do.[...] Hoping that my enemies will save my son... How ironic.". This could imply that he can't create an akuma to go up to space and save him and has to rely on the heroes to fix his mess. If it really was true that he can create more akumas, why not akumatize a family member of someone trapped in space?

You’re putting a lot of effort into this theory, so I’ll do the same and I’ll go ahead and unload all the Watsonian theories my brother and I have been coming up with. My Doylist explanation last time was a bit of a copout, I must admit, but now I’ve had some time to think about it more and bounce some ideas with my brother. This will be long.

Catalyst was created to let him create more than one Akuma at a time without having to detransform between turning people into Akumas. And it let him create dozens of them, far more than simply transforming back and forth multiple times to corrupt butterflies and turn people individually into Akumas would have. It’s true that Hawk Moth doesn’t have a timer that forces him to detransform after using his special power, but he has always been Gabriel again in-between Akumatizations outside of the episode ‘Catalyst’, meaning the “once per transformation” rule could still apply. However, there are multiple reasons we can get from the show for why he doesn't just transform back and forth to Akumatize more people at once. In fact, he even does something that technically supports the “once per transformation” interpreation in ‘Timetagger’: after his talk with Nathalie, during which he isn’t transformed, he goes back to Akumatize Mr Pigeon again. We see in the shots of the sky and from Marinette's call to Alya that it's the evening of the same day as the rest of the episode, so we know for a fact he doesn’t have some time-based limit, like once per day, too.

We know that Gabriel would lose control of the Akuma he just created if he turned back into Gabriel in order to make another one, since we see in ‘Simon Says’ that Simon Says went rogue whenever Hawk Moth wasn’t forcing him to obey since he was being Gabriel at the time. Gabriel turning back and forth to Akumatize multiple people at a time would be really risky because of this. In addition, since he's relying on people who feel exceptionally powerful negative emotions to get Akumas, he couldn't just randomly pick people really quickly to Akumatize, since he needs specific types of victims. It also seems that he'd need victims who have the same source of grievance so that he could focus on them all at once, since in ‘Catalyst’, he had Volpina create the illusion of an Akumatized Ladybug killing Cat Noir so that as many people in Paris as possible were suffering from the same negative emotion that he could have his Akumas target. He did the same when he Akumatized more people as the finale went on by having Dark Cupid create the strong negative emotions he needed.

The reason he couldn’t create another Akuma to go up into space in ‘Startrain’ is the same as why he couldn’t just control Startrain herself: the space is out of his range. I was also wondering why he wasn’t turning into Hawk Moth again to make another Akuma while watching the episode, but my bro pointed out that he’d just lose control of that too, so we didn’t bring it up in the liveblog. Hawk Moth has a physical range that the Akuma needs to be inside of, and it seems to be withing the borders of the city of Paris, considering the Akuma went off his radar when it entered the train. If he made another Akuma and sent it into space after Startrain, he would have immediately lost control of it. He'd have to have absolute trust that a new Akuma would want to rescue Adrien specifically from the train if he was to send an Akuma he couldn't control after his son, and that would both risk his identity as well as be antithetical to Gabriel's control freak nature. He knows how the heroes operate by now, so that was less of an unknown to him and therefore easier to accept.

I'll also point out that Akumas seem to be more easily controlled when he’s focusing on just one. Part of the reason his legions of Akumas weren’t as strong in the season two finale as they were in their individual episodes was that they weren’t putting together many good plans to counter the heroes, just swarming them with numbers. Hawk Moth couldn’t be in all of their heads at once helping them plan. Gabriel is a strategist, and strategists don’t waste their resources, and making multiple Akumas he couldn't take full advantage/control of would be wasteful if he didn't have Catalyst's boost to help him counter that weakness by simply letting him Akumatize dozens at once instead of the two-to-five he'd probably manage by turning back and forth really quickly. In the finale he was fully intending to exhaust the heroes with pure numbers instead of trying to outmanoeuvre them, so battle tactics weren’t as important to him as they usually are.

Now, despite writing all these other explanations, I don't think you're necessarily wrong, I just think everything can be explained more simply than by inventing a whole new Miraculous rule that no character has brought up for some reason. You can still keep the theory that Hawk Moth’s previous Akuma has to be dealt with before he can make a new one since, while I can prove it's not explicitly canon or the only possible explanation, I can't prove it's not possible in-universe either. In fact, speaking of different theories, we've now finally seen ‘Party Crasher’, and in that episode, Gabriel is harvesting more butterflies to corrupt. That means that it’s canon that he has a limited supply. My brother's theory is that he’s preserving his butterflies and that’s why he doesn’t usually Akumatize more than one person at a time by just changing back and forth multiple times per day, and there's evidence to support that as well, since he’s usually pretty strategic about how to best use any Akuma he takes over. Also, in ‘Catalyst’, he’d been preparing for the mass Akumatization for months, they say so in-episode, so he could have made sure he had enought butterflies to take advantage of Catalyst’s boost.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is: unless it's stated outright, there's room for interpretation, and no interpretation is more right than another unless we get official word from the showrunners in some form. I have a severe dislike for the idea of new Miraculous rules, so I'll politely decline your interpretation and, out of everything we’ve covered, I’ll just go with "control freak Gabriel wants absolute control and can only have that with one Akuma or Catalyst and so he only uses those options" because I personally prefer character-oriented explanations for stuff.

[frost-or-fire]

Sonadow AU

Sonic haves NIDS, prompt ideas

Eggman is cooking up a plan to finally be rid of Sonic, so, he turns to chemical weapons. He gets his hands on everything; gas, ballistics, anything.

Eggman makes a plan, trapping Sonic in a snare in the form of radiation.

Sonic doesn't know much, he just runs head first into danger and doesn't acknowledge the fact that there weren't many machines for him to battle against.

Little did he know that he was soaking up the radiation with every clobber.

The N.I.D.S doesn't take effect immediately, but builds up slowly in his system.

A month passes but everything still seems normal, but signs were showing.

Sonic would be out of breath. His limbs would feel more heavy than usual. He's tired all the time and even haves a small appetite/ gets sick/ or overall refuses to eat.

Sonic doesn't seem to notice these facts, but Tails and their friends are able to recognize these changes.

Tails being Tails would secretly swipe some of Sonic's quills to look for the source to their problem and is quick to call Rogue for any possibility that she recognize this illness.

Rogue, however, have seen it before but dismissed the case to Shadow since he seen many diseases before and had first hand experience with these things.

Shadow comes around, knowing but unknowing about why Rogue is giving him this sort of case to deal with since it was still touchy about his past.

One thing leads to another, Shadow ends up bumping into Sonic on one of his runs and gets challenged for a race that he can't quite back out of.

Halfway through the race, Sonic would collapse with a sudden asthma attack (that he is not aware of) and thinks that he is dying of suffocation. Luckily, Shadow was familiar to this and instinct kicked in for him to save Sonic in time.

They return back to Sonic and Tail's home where they take some tests to further see what the problem was.

They find out that Sonic haves N.I.D.S

It was a big surprise for all of them, their friends start worrying and fretting over Sonic, Shadow is over came with strong emotions from past experiences, but Sonic.. Sonic takes it the hardest. His life slowly being dashed away, his one talent being stolen, being unable to run was heartbreaking. Which then leads to a domino effect of him unable to protect Mobius.

Edit, cuz this is getting good:

Shadow agrees to help them, but only because he wants to fight for a cure to get rid of this disease that was killing his deceased friend.

Amy is the one who ends up playing nanny (not that she is complaining) and tries to keep Sonic in bed. Key word: try.

Sonic would always find a way to get out of bed, whether to watch tv on the couch, stretch his legs, go outside for fresh air.

Knuckles is on Angel Island, trying to pull answers from the Master Emerald, because deep down he really cares for Sonic.

Shadow and Rouge try to extract information through G.U.N. from where the progress had stopped after the Incident on the Ark so that they have a fighting chance for Tails to finish what Professor Gerald had started.

3 days have passed, Sonic finally reached his peak. He escapes from the house out of being stir crazy. His friends freak out.

Sonic runs with caution, not forgetting about his earlier asthma attack, and takes breaks in between his sprints.

He ends up at Emerald Coast. Its dark out. A concert have taken place there and is now over.

Sonic finds someone. His younger brother, Manic.

They end up talking about life, catching up on their whereabouts. -Manic at some point offered a smoke to Sonic but he politely declined- Sonic then breaks down the matter of info about his medical condition. Manic remained calm but let's out an uneasy breath when Sonic finishes.

They make plans to meet up so that they can hang out like old times.

Sonic returns to his house . . . Shadow was waiting by the door with a mask of disappointment. "It been 8 hours. Everyone were worried." He would say, scolding Sonic as if he were a mere child. "I'm my own person, I can go where ever I want," Sonic would retort, shrugging him off and walk into the kitchen. "Yes, you are, and it's none of my concern either, but your so called friends were losing their heads when you up and left. Where were you?" Shadow follows close behind, his voice low with not much concern at all. "Oh, y'know . . . Out." Sonic grabs a snack from the fridge, something small and distasteful. "No. I don't know." And the Conversation will down hill from there.

Morning comes, Sonic is Impossibly sicker (the pollen did a number on him. [Also quick research, N.I.D.S. isn't a real disease but a similar disease to this would be Immune Dysfunction Syndrome: it includes unrelenting fatigue, cognitive impairment, flu-like symptoms, and chronic pain. My theory on this, and to explain why Maria lived on the Ark for most of her life, is because of her fragile body couldn't handle any sort of environment that she was put in. So to say, it's raining or snowing, Maria catches the common cold: it would literally kill her. Maria's immune system is weak and could not survive any sort of sickness that an ordinary child would go through. Thus leading her to live in a sterile climate.])

Amy dresses Sonic in a sweater and heavy socks under a mountain of blankets, serving only soup that would most of the time go wasted. Meanwhile Tails checks him over and discovers that Sonic had caught a flu, or what seems like a flu. . .

Shadow then takes it upon himself to decide they had to go to the Ark. Sonic's condition was worsening. Tails needs more information and their G.U.N. attempts weren't working.

They have to go to the source.

[theheartsmistakes]

A Court of Silver Flames rant

Back at it again with one of those book talks because no one in my personal inner circle has read it yet... because they all have lives. Spoilers under the cut!!

O.M.G... Silver Flames is on my top 5 list of favorite Maas books. If you’re reading this you probably don’t care but my list goes as such:

1. A Court of Mist and Fury

2. A Court of Silver Flames

3. Crescent City

4. A Court of Wings and Ruin

The fifth and final spot is yet to be taken... I read the Throne of Glass series, but I found her Court books to be better... anyway!

Pros: Nesta Archeron... I liked this bad bitch from the moment we met her in A Court of Thorns and Roses. I thought she was vicious and cruel and nasty, but underneath all of that anger... she held so much love for her family. I know she has a lot of issues and I’m not justifying any of the things that’s she done in the past or the things that she’s chosen to say, but I love the flaws that Sarah chose to give her. I am weak for a good redemption story and that’s what this was for me. It was a redemption story for a character that for all intents and purposes was a villain.  

I think I loved Nesta’s story the most because I can relate to her. Not so much in the vicious way she speaks to people, but in finding it difficult to forgive myself or to open myself up to other people in fear of them seeing what lies underneath. Sarah did such a great job of depicting that fear for Nesta and then carefully, through all sorts of elements: romantic love, platonic love, self-love, breaking that fear down so that Nesta could find happiness and forgiveness and acceptance. 

It was beautiful!

Cons: I could have done with like a fraction of these sex scenes. They did absolutely nothing for me except for like one or two of them. I made a Michael Scott face for some of them where I was just hella uncomfortable... and like grossed out. I’m no Gwyn, I’ve dabbled in my fair share of romance novels, but I just didn’t care for some of these scenes. I really felt like they were kind of out of character for Nesta, maybe that was the point, I don’t know. 

Those last 100 pages were SO rushed... it was so jarring. I went from relishing in domestic bliss with Cassian, to declining a mating bond I’ve known about since like book 2, to being flung into the Hunger Games, and then climbing the fucking mountain of Mordor (don’t get me wrong, I loved it, but I was just so confused). Then right when we’ve won that battle, we were thrown into the death and resurrection of three primary characters in the span of like 5 pages. But somehow, everything worked out fine... I am getting kind of tired of there being all of this build up about something like “oh, no one can wear all three artifacts and live EXCEPT this one person who is like barely a fae and has no control over her powers or self-awareness, but sure... she seems worthy. Let’s let her decide who lives and dies.” I would have accepted it a little easier if Nesta had truly lost something in this trade... like she lost her power completely instead of having a scrap left. I love that she made that 180 turn and basically sacrificed herself for Feyre, but I wanted more of a sacrifice from her... if that makes sense. As a writer and reader of fantasy, I firmly believe that magic needs to have rules and regulations otherwise it’s too predictable. What I mean by that is magic can’t solve everything and for Maas, I feel like too often it does. Let characters die. Let magic fail or come with a price at least.

What’s next: Please don’t come at me, I support everyone’s individual pairings, but I am not an Elucien fan. And I will tell you why: I didn’t like how Lucien handled the bond. Right after the poor distraught child was literally poured from a giant magic bathtub, he pounces on her declaring her his ‘mate’ as if she’d understand what the hell that meant. Rhys waited like a year before he told Feyre and same with Cassian. They gave their girls space and time to accept this while still remaining close. 

Lucien did give her space afterwards, but he just continued to handle it really poorly. There’s no spark, there’s no jolt, no oomph. I need the OOMPH!

Also, Elain is someone who has had very little choice in what happens in her life. From the moment she was born her own mother was like, “she’s beautiful. I shall sell her to highest bider because Nesta shall dance and Feyre is a wildling.” Then she was engaged to “what’s his face” because of his status and wealth, even though she claimed to love him. Then, she was dragged into the cauldron and turned into a fae and lost her chance at a happy, normal human life with what’s his face. And fresh out of the cauldron, this red haired fae man is trying to claim her. I would have been like... can I have a moment to process all of this fresh, new information. Treat me like a 90′s Dell computer, I need a whole hour to load these documents. Just stuck on the stupid hour glass. Then, she’s in a whole catatonic state because she’s lost everything she’s ever known and the love of her life is going to reject her and possibly try to murder her, while simultaneously being thrown into a war that she now has to play a part in. Plus, she’s seeing ugly visions of the future. I just feel so badly for Elain sometimes. I don’t want to force any expectations on her. I want her to live in her gardens, I want her to bake, and bring light to the night court. I want her to make make her own choices and for that reason I hope she chooses Azriel, because it will be her choice and not something forced upon her. Plus, Azriel deserves to be chosen by someone. He just does. His rejection rate is at an all time high and I think that’s just criminal.

Edit***

All right, so I just read Az’s additional chapter (my copy of the Silver Flames did not have it, and I may be switching teams. This is why I am an unreliable narrator, because I am so easily swayed. Honestly, I wanted Elain with Azriel for the previously mentioned reasons ^^^ and I stand by those reasons. However, after reading his chapter, I feel like Gwyn is a great match for Azriel. HOWEVER, I do not feel Azriel is a great match for Gwyn. I loved Gwyn’s character. I loved her spunk, her unwavering kindness, her loyalty, her innocence, her devotion, her talent, and I loved her interactions with Az. I loved that he rescued her and then helped train her so she wouldn’t need rescuing again. I also love how Az’s shadows interacted with her in such a different way from how they interact (or don’t) with Elain. They come out and play with Gwyn and she’s not afraid, but they seem to tuck themselves away when around Elain. Maybe because she’s so bright and sunny and Gywn feels comfort in shadows, I don’t know, just a theory. But this is a girl that is working through some trauma and is figuring out how to live and live well with that trauma. It’s not impossible, but it’s tough, and it’s going to require a lot of trust and time. Azriel is having wet dreams about Elain. I guess his attention could be swayed to Gwyn, especially if Elain truly becomes off-limits for him. If that is the course SJM is thinking about going, I’d like to see it done in the same way Mist and Fury was done when Rhys was helping Feyre heal.  Elain would have to be taken out of the picture in the same way Tamlin was. I hate that for Elain, because I like her and I want to see her flourish (plus aren’t the court books about the Archeron sister’s?) but it will not bode well with me if this becomes a weird love triangle with two traumatized women and a spy.

I thought this would help me but it has not. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I don’t think I’ll be mad if it goes either way. Elriel or Gwynriel, I’ll be happy for both of them.

Still don’t want Elain with Lucien because of previously mentioned reasons. He has learned to chill, but I still think he handled the bond wrong and now he needs to put in the time.

[aion-rsa]

The Power Rangers Turbo Deleted Scenes That Could Have Saved the Movie

https://ift.tt/3aDPrNw

Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie is, at best, a glorified TV movie. Made when Power Rangers’ popularity was in slow decline after the zenith of the Mighty Morphin days, the film makes no pretense that it’s trying to be any kind of cultural event like the first film attempted to be. Instead, it only half-heartedly tries to bring in a new audience with the addition of kid Ranger Justin and struggles to please hardcore Power Rangers fans.

The story –new villain Divatox makes her way to a mystical island to marry an ancient evil and the Rangers have to stop her — limps along with little forward momentum. Guest alien character Lerigot, who speaks in an alien language nearly the whole movie, gets equal if not more screen time than Justin. There’s little to no character development for the main cast. It also takes over an hour and 10 minutes for the Rangers to actually morph and fight.

The two saving graces of the film are Divatox, played by Hilary Shepherd Turner, who brings a demented joy to the baddie, and the return of former Rangers Jason and Kimberly, who provide most of the memorable moments.

Overall, it’s a fairly dull movie… but it wasn’t always that way. Hidden in two early drafts of the film (specifically the third and fifth drafts) are some deleted gems, which, while they wouldn’t have completely saved the movie, would have made it a more enjoyable one. The characters all get more moments to shine, Justin (sort of) gets a character arc, we’re given more reason to care about Lerigot, Kimberly gets some snappy one liners, and there’s even an explanation of the changeover from the Zeo to Turbo powers!

Like we did with an early draft of the MMPR movie, we’re diving into these earlier versions of Turbo, but we won’t be covering every single change from script to screen. We’ll instead focus on the biggest changes and deleted bits that shed the most light on what could have been for the Turbo movie.

The Zeo to Turbo Transition

Considering this film is very clearly aimed at fans, let’s start with the biggest sticking point for them at the time when this movie was released. In the final version of the movie, there’s no explanation regarding what happened to the Zeo powers from the previous season of the show. Power Rangers Zeo, the fourth season in the franchise, featured a set of powers that were supposedly the most powerful, able to grow stronger overtime. However, the Zeo powers were completely tossed aside in Turbo with no explanation as to why (maybe after they saw the Zeo morph sequence could be disrupted by water they decided to get something better). The Rangers accept their Turbo powers, and not much else is said on the matter.

For years this has bothered fans… if only they knew how close we got to a real explanation. The third draft starts out with a partial explanation, that the Zeo Zords don’t have the power to withstand passage through the Nemesis Triangle and, as Alpha lays out, “the force of the triangle has mangled many power sources.”

However, it’s a later line of dialogue that could potentially solve every single problem fans have ever had with this.

As the Rangers work on the Turbo Zords, which will take them through the Triangle, Alpha specifically says, “the transfer of powers is complete.”

Now you can be nitpicky and say this was only referring to the Zords but considering that the Turbo keys and morphers appear in the same room as the Turbo Zords, it’s close enough. Plus Zordon makes it clear in the fifth draft of the script that Justin’s powers can’t be transferred to Rocky and that, “from this moment on, you are the Blue Ranger” lending more credence to the idea the Zeo powers have become the Turbo powers.

(This runs contrary to what the show implied in “Shift Into Turbo Part 1,” which made it seem like Justin could give the powers to Rocky if he wanted them.)

Zordon also reveals they had the keys in their possession for safekeeping, which seems to solidify the idea they transferred the Zeo powers into the Turbo keys in a way that would allow them to cross the Triangle.

This is truly the best explanation fans will ever get. After nearly 20 years of endless theories, forum battles, and debates, there was truly a simple explanation for all of this.

Justin

Without a doubt the most controversial addition to Power Rangers at the time, Justin was a legit child who bafflingly got the chance to become a Ranger. Like the film, the early scripts provide no real reason why a child gets to be a Ranger, although it does try to have Justin explain.

“It was an emergency and all, Zordon said I had the right stuff to be a Power Ranger, even if I was a little young, and Rocky thought so too…”

Considering Zordon’s “right stuff” for recruiting the original Rangers was that they were “overbearing and emotional,” I strongly question his decision making process here. Does he just find the closest person who won’t ask too many questions and go, “good enough!”

At least the script does delve a little more into the idea of a child being a Ranger, with Tanya and Kat both unsure if Justin really knows what he’s going up against. Tanya reasons they’ll have to be his family now, which was a line that made it into the film (albeit spoken by Kat) but doesn’t carry anywhere near as much weight there, considering that both of Justin’s parents are dead in the scripts!

In the fifth draft, that backstory is downgraded to just his mom but it’s still given much more time to impact Justin. Tanya and Kat comment several times how much trouble Justin has had since she died and his dad moved away. He’s clearly taken to Rocky quite a bit and is really disturbed by Rocky’s injury.  This comes full circle at the end when, in a deleted scene, Justin worries he won’t be a Ranger anymore but Rocky reassures him that he deserves the powers. For someone who looked up to Rocky so much, this is huge.

Justin’s story even gets tied into Lerigot’s! It only happens at the very end but in another deleted scene in the fifth draft (that was briefly glimpsed in the film’s end credits) Justin gets to hold baby Bethel and sorrowfully observes, “it must be great to have your whole family together again.”

Damn, that made me feel things for Justin! I wish this connection had been explored a bit more but perhaps it was something they had planned to develop in the TV series. Still, these little glimpses into Justin’s life would have made the idea of a kid Ranger easier to accept and given him a more emotional arc.

Lerigot’s Backstory

Lerigot was… certainly a choice. Someone in the Turbo movie production office must have thought they’d be making some serious tickle me Elmo money off this alien but uh… he’s horrendous. His face is the stuff of nightmares. His eyes are that of a killer. His voice is what you hear as you’re slowly dragged into hell.

As mentioned earlier, he takes up way too much of the film’s runtime, especially the first half as we watch him play with animals in Africa. Both in look and execution, Lerigot is a huge misfire. However, the fifth draft of the script at least gave us more of a reason to care about him and, delightfully, tied his backstory to Maligore.

In the film, it’s revealed that Lerigot’s key can get Divatox through the Nemesis Triangle to Maligore. It was kind of strange how this specific key could do that but in the script Zordon explains to the Rangers that Lerigot’s ancestors, the Liarians, were the ones who exiled Maligore to the island Muiranthias in the Nemesis Triangle. Lerigot inherited the golden key, which, as in film, opens the gateway to the island.

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Speaking of keys, the keys the Rangers use to morph were also tied into Lerigot’s backstory. In the film, Zordon just calls them “similar” to Lerigot’s key but the script reveals that the keys and morphers were entrusted to Zordon for “safe keeping with the hope that they would never have to be used.”

So hey, uh, Zordon. Were you gonna… tell the Rangers about those powers at all? Could have been real useful all those times they lost their powers before now! Maybe you wouldn’t have even needed the Zeo Crystal if you just opened that wall and gave everyone the Turbo powers! Why do you have so many secret powers, Zordon?! We know you have a Zord fleet hidden away on an alien planet! I know you’re all about “don’t escalate battles” but people are dying!

Anyway, tying in Lerigot to the Rangers’ powers is a cool idea and does give both the powers and Lerigot more weight in the film since they’re the only things that can take on Maligore. The powers aren’t just something Zordon cooked up in a few minutes. It also conjures up images of ancient Liarian Rangers, possibly multiple teams who inherited the powers from each other.

That’s incredible! Even though it was scrapped, the idea of more alien Power Rangers out there isone I’m always open to, plus it gives us the image of Liarian Power Rangers beating up Maligore. This is an image I will treasure for all time.

Aqua Power Suits

One would think introducing the Turbo powers would be enough for a film but there were plans to feature a second set of… powers as well. Actually, it’s a little confusing so I’ll try to explain as best as I can.

In the script, Tanya and Adam are actively tracking Divatox’s landing on Earth instead of just kind of hanging around the Power Chamber while Tommy and Kat go off to Africa. Zordon instructs them to investigate and the two bust out the Aqua Power Suits, which are described as“five armored suits split down the middle and peeled back.”

Adam and Tanya don’t morph into them, they, as the script describes, “step backwards into their suits. The suits close from the feet up, snapping into place. The face shields show half of their faces as they step forward to reveal a small jet pack on their backs.”

No explanation is given as to where these suits came from; they were just hiding in a wall. At least, unlike the Turbo powers in the script, the team already knew about them and Zordon wasn’t hoarding them away until it was time to (sell some new toys) face a great threat.

Showing half their faces in the suits brings to mind the abandoned plans from the first movie, which featured open visors during fight scenes. It makes more sense here considering the suits, as written in the script, sound more like souped-up scuba gear than actual morphed suits. A later scene reveals that the suits have miniature radar screens, a button on the helmet that allows the wearers to talk to each other underwater, and a weapon attached to the hip.

The suits were mainly used in an altered scene where, instead of Jason and Kimberly simply being captured by Divatox, Tanya and Adam tried to save them in a thrilling underwater battle. The two former Rangers are taken into the subcraft, and before Tanya and Adam can try and get inside, Divatox electrifies them. It’s a great sequence that would have added some much needed action to the start of the film.

Aqua Suites, power up! #PowerRangers pic.twitter.com/YZcQgKIyiZ

— Jackie Marchand (@jackieyo) October 29, 2018

Concept art of these suits has been released by longtime Power Rangers writer Jackie Marchand but the images don’t match the script at all. The art features the regular Turbo Rangers, only with additional underwater equipment. They depict the aqua aesthetic as more of a power-up rather than a whole other suit.

So uh… how would that have all worked if the Aqua Power Suits were introduced BEFORE the Rangers got their Turbo powers? Would the Aqua Power Suits have appeared over the Zeo suits?

One explanation might be that in an even earlier draft of the script the Rangers did use the Aqua Power Suits later in the film. According to Power Rangers: The Ultimate Visual History, the original script for the film (which we assume is the first draft) was 150 pages, so there was ample time for the new suits to appear. (For reference the third and fifth drafts we’re covering are 87 pages and 91 pages, respectively.)

Another possibility is that, while the suits were designed for the film, Turbo didn’t really have the budget to film the scenes they were used in. As cool as an underwate fight scene would have been, it wouldn’t have been easy to pull off. Doubly so with actors in costumes like Ranger suits. Actor Johnny Yong Bosch (Adam Park) revealed in 2013 that, while some scenes leading into the Aqua Power Suits were filmed, they were ultimately cut during production.

Bulk/Skull/Lt. Stone

The unexplained change from Zeo to Turbo powers isn’t the only plotline that left fans of the TV series baffled when this movie hit theaters. In the finale of Power Rangers Zeo, Bulk and Skull were recruited for a secret detective mission off the coast of France, quitting their positions working under the former Lt. Stone. It was a seismic shift that was almost completely dropped in the film; the trio’s suddenly back on the police force that they’d been fired from with the only acknowledgment being Stone remarking they were lucky to be rehired.

While the scripts don’t address the France mission cliffhanger, it does at least provide some explanation for how the trio got back on the force. Stone tells Bulk and Skull at a baseball game that, “we are in the middle of the international summer festival. The department is short on manpower. Trust me… they must be if they hired you back.” It’s not much but… it’s something and does lead to a series of deleted scenes.

During the same baseball game scene, as in the film, Stone instructs Bulk and Skull to relieve him at the international danceathon. This is a reference to a subplot that never made the cut, with Stone stuck at the dance after Bulk and Skull were kidnapped by Divatox. Twice during the film we cut back to him being forced to dance, first to German polka and then a Jamaican line dance. This plot was to be wrapped up in a final scene where Bulk and Skull finally show up, only for Stone, in Kabuki makeup, to chase them down with a stick.

While I’m glad to see Stone get something more to do, these scenes are of little consequence and it’s no wonder they were cut. They were filmed though, and the footage that exists isn’t all that funny, especially since it features several cultural stereotypes that are downright offensive. 

The Malichians make an appearance at the festival in these deleted scenes  (seemingly having followed Bulk and Skull back from the island), and just like in the film, they’re a painfully out of date and racist depiction of native people.

Mandika the Mermaid

Ever wonder how Bulk, Skull, and Kimberly made it to shore after escaping the sub craft? In the film, it’s implied they floated back up but the script gives us a far more entertaining explanation. It was a mermaid! And not just a random mermaid but one that was going to share a subplot with Adam!

In the script, the Rangers face a much longer trek to get to the Ghost Galleon, needing to follow a river in the “Digathian Forest.” The Rangers drive there but can’t find their way until they spot “a beautiful young girl of about eleven. Her skin is the color of alabaster with long blue/black hair that trails in front of her bare chest.” (What a creepy description.) “She dives and a silvery tail flips out of the water.” The mermaid is named Mandika and is friends with Alpha! That robot must get up to some amazing adventures off screen.

Just after that introduction Adam is unnerved by a vision of Maligore at a campfire (the image of Maligore in fire recurs in the script) and goes for a walk. Mandika leads him to a pirate skeleton, which points the way to the Galleon. After that, Mandika pops up to save Bulk and Skull and then Kimberly before needing to be saved herself, which also helpfully fills in a plot hole.

In the film, as two missiles streak toward the Galleon, Kat suggests, “We can’t be detected inside the Turbo vehicles.” Which is completely pointless since the missiles end up hitting the ship anyway and the Zords simply withstand the blast.

In the script, the Rangers getting into the Zords diverts the missiles…to Mandika! She’s unaware of the missiles and Adam, on a recon mission, takes a bungee cord out of his power box and leaps down to save her in the nick of time. She thanks him and dives back into the water, never to be seen again.

Mandika is completely pointless. She has zero personality and is only there to help bolster the movie’s attempt at being a big adventure. But we’ve already got five Rangers plus the villains. We don’t need anymore side characters.

Notable Deleted Sequences

Director David Winning said in an interview for the Ultimate Visual History book that the script for the film was “massive – a series of one adventure after another. The original edit was over three hours long, so, realistically, it had to be cut down.” 

While that edit was probably a very early rough cut, it still means a lot of sequences had to go, even some potentially great ones.

Power Rangers fans have hungered for these scenes for years, clues to their existence slowly trickling out. The script finally sheds some light on what these scenes were all about.

One of the biggest of these is Kat firing a flamethrower, with Tommy looking on, an image advertised on the back of the Turbo movie VHS. The script reveals their target was a crocodile, which followed Tommy and Kat after they reunited in the water. Tommy gets Kat out just before the croc tries to attack, getting into a full on brawl with the animal, even grabbing it in “an upside down bear hug” and shoving a branch in its mouth. Tommy gets to shore and Kat scares the croc away with a blowtorch that was in a power box. This sequence was probably cut for time or maybe the image of Tommy wrestling a crocodile wasn’t as cool as the script made it out to be.

Another scene known to fans was of the Rangers traveling through several different chambers to get to Maligore’s temple. This scene was briefly featured in a short music video at the beginning of the Turbo VHS tape, and while it promised something exciting, the script makes it seem pretty boring.

Tommy opens a door to the temple with his Turbo key (which makes more sense than Justin just happening to find a random entrance in the film) and the team enters the “Serpent’s Temple.” There’s an oil slick lake covering the floor, and as they move through, they see cobra statues with real snakes all around them. Tanya hates snakes because Indiana Jones reference and then they just… run into the main chamber. They don’t even fight some snake monsters.

Much better are two scenes that did show up in the film but only in silent form in the end credits. The first is made up of several shots of Lerigot, his family, Jason, Kimberly, Bulk, and Skull entering the Turbo Megazord. Kimberly and Jason share a hug with Tommy looking on, leading some fans to speculate Kim and Jason were now a couple. The script does not mention or indicate that at all but it does contain a great bit where the Rangers react to Bulk and Skull’s weirdness, and Jason bemusedly observes, “I’ve known them since Kindergarten and I still can’t figure it out.” This is the kinda character moment the movie needed more of.

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The second is the shot of Justin getting to hold Bethel that we mentioned earlier, but it also ends with Alpha getting Lerigot to say in English, “Go… go… Power Rangers.” Ugh. I kind of love it.

Fans haven’t heard of all the deleted scenes, though. One particularly interesting one occurs as the Rangers are about to enter the Triangle but first have to pass through some fog. There they see a phantom ship appear and vanish, along with a “world war fighter jet” and even a UFO! 

This is a scene I really wish had been kept in the film. It gives the island more weight 

because it’s a place humans have at least tried to interact with (and earlier dialogue in the script makes it seem like the Triangle is a well known myth.) It makes Earth just as magical as any of the far off planets the Rangers have encountered. If our planet is hiding this kind of power, it’s no wonder villains are always looking to conquer it.

Another great scene is an extended version of the Putra Pod fight where the Rangers actually morph! In the film, they take out Divatox’s minions on the ship unmorphed but in the script the fight is longer and much more exciting. There’s much more action described, with my favorite bit being Tommy having to fight his way into the captain’s room so he can pull the Turbo keys out of the ship. We even get an early version of the morph call, “It’s morphin Turbo time.”

That’s a mouthful but I desperately wish this has been in the film. It still takes way too long but it gives us some Ranger action earlier, which the film badly needed. Even the first film, for all its flaws, knows it has to bust out a Ranger fight early on to keep you interested.

Deleted Character Moments

Without much action to break up the film, a huge problem quickly arises, there are very few character moments. When the film isn’t shoving Lerigot in your face, the Rangers are mostly given painful amounts of exposition or mind numbing dialogue that doesn’t feel specific to them as characters. One could argue the Rangers were never that deep to begin with but there was enough to draw on if they wanted to… and the script did.

Unfortunately, when editing a movie, the first thing to go are little character moments, and that’s a real shame because there are some fantastic ones here. One of my favorites comes early when the Rangers and the shelter kids are all at the baseball game and Tanya catches a speeding ball hit into the stands. It’s a perfect little bit that references her baseball skills from Zeo and gives her a moment with Justin where she gives him the ball, producing his first slight smile in the movie.  

There are actually several deleted little bits about Tanya. When Jason and Kim see Bulk and Skull acting strangely in the subcraft, Jason’s reminded of a report Tanya did about trauma and how people respond to it. Hey, they remembered Jason knew her! Tanya also tells Tommy and Katherine to “send my love to Africa” before they teleport there.

The whole team also gets an absolutely brilliant scene where they’re all around a campfire just before Justin shows up. They all talk about how they used to be afraid of the dark, with Tanya remarking, “That’s when all the monsters camped out under your bed.”

It’s such a sweet bit, especially with Tommy being the first to admit his fear. It also subtly feels like the team is comparing their childhood fears of monsters to their present day lives of fighting them all the time. This moment lets the Rangers feel like genuine people with the weight of the world on their shoulders. If this had made it in, it would have easily been the stand out moment of the movie.

Or maybe it would have been anything Divatox says. She was already one of the best parts of the film but the script gives her even more time. Early on, she gets Rygog to draw up a prenup for the marriage. Rygog dutifully confirms, “Everything that is yours remains yours. And everything that is his becomes yours as well” to which Divatox says, “Sounds fair to me.”

Later, during the big Volcano fight, she threatens to “throw a few Ranger wimps on the barbie” and adds, “You should appreciate that, Pink Ranger!” Divatox remembers more about Kat’s backstory than the final film did.

But none of these scenes even hold a candle to a line that should have been in every trailer because it would have sold this movie. Jason, having just been brought to the volcano, gives the very standard Power Rangers line of “Don’t you know bad guys never win?”

To which Divatox responds,

“Of course they don’t. Guys are complete idiots. Now women on the other hand…”

I LOVE IT. I ADORE THIS LINE SO MUCH. How could you not film this? How could you cut this? It’s brilliant! Perfect for Divatox.

How Much Better Is The Script From The Finished Movie?

Look, many of these deleted bits are great. The character bits help give the film more depth. It made me want to know more about Lerigot, and that’s a true accomplishment! There are some killer lines, acknowledgement of the TV show’s continuity, and Justin is far more likeable. For the hardcore fan, these moments do a lot.

That being said, these little bits don’t fix the film. It’s still a deeply flawed movie that, like the first film, seems to be ashamed of the TV show and tries to tell a story that is as far away from it as possible. But it’s just not that good a story on its own so the only thing that’s worthwhile are those moments that connect to the show and the characters we already love — which are few and far between.

The script gives us more of those but it doesn’t fix the major flaws, like the painfully slow start, the overuse of Lerigot, the lack of character arcs, and too little Ranger action, though the extra scene on the ship is appreciated.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

So yes, the script is better than the film but it wasn’t exactly a super high bar to clear in the first place. At least if some of these scenes had been included, the movie would have been more enjoyable for Power Rangers fans, which really are the primary audience for the film anyway. I’m not saying that’s whom the studio should have been exclusively catering to but the only time the script is able to shine is when nodding at hardcore fans. Without that, Turbo is just a forgettable ‘90s kids movie.

The post The Power Rangers Turbo Deleted Scenes That Could Have Saved the Movie appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[fermented-writers-block]

With the recent developments in Mr. Universe and Fragments, I couldn’t help but be reminded of an old thought I came up with several months ago, back when the fandom thought that Steven’s pink mode was simply a heightened emotional state of some kind, and even though we know now that it actually is a stress response reaction, I can’t help but think it might still be applicable here to Steven’s current situation.

TLDR: Over the course of the series, Steven’s views of his mother had fallen and continued to fall very far away from its original pedestal due to the sheer barrage of harsh realities and troubling secrets constantly being upended and revealed, and the shifts in how he has felt about his mother’s legacy seems to tell a very interesting story. One of a long, rocky uphill battle against a mountain of expectations, and a sudden, sharp plunge into a ravine of self-loathing before finding one’s way out of the darkness.

When the original series first started, he looked up to Rose Quartz the protector of Earth, seeing her as the always kindhearted and perfect person whose legacy he felt like he had to live up to. He tried so very hard to be more loving and thoughtful like Greg and the Gems had told him Rose had been like thus far into the show - like he felt they expected him to be if he wanted to stay useful and thus someone they would actually keep around like In Dreams suggests - and he struggled with his constant failures to match up with such an impossible image, potentially even as early into the show as Laser Light Cannon with his desperate pleading for the titular weapon to work.

In the middle of the original series, as he heard more intimate stories about what Rose was really like in person from his family, found out about Bismuth’s bubbling, and had to be told by a stranger that his mother, someone he had been led to believe had always promoted peace, apparently shattered someone, his image of Rose the flawless hero turned into that of Rose the liar with an unknowable amount of secrets that hurt his family immensely. 

He struggled with the question of whether Rose had made him for some untold grand plan, and he felt like he had to take care of the messes that she left behind, putting such a burdensome expectation on himself even though the Gems no longer expected him to be more like his mother. This culminated in I Am My Mom with his attempt to save his family from harm by resigning himself to sacrificing himself and atoning for his mother’s sins.

For the end of the original series, Pearl’s revelation that Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond were the same person the entire time finally gave Steven a fuller picture of Rose the person, someone who was flawed and still had positive qualities, someone who tried very hard to become a better person. He felt like he had really found his space with the Crystal Gems, and they expected him to be himself.

And yet, with the strange and inexplicable glimpses of Pink Diamond’s memories as well as White Diamond's existential questions either inspiring or bringing such a thought to the front of his mind, Steven struggled with the fear that his mother was still alive somewhere deep within his consciousness, and that ‘Steven’ the person had just been a lie the entire time. 

Post CYM and another of his mother’s secrets coming back to haunt him with Spinel, Steven had stopped worrying about who he isn’t. He now knows for certain that he’s not his mother, that she isn’t living in some dormant part of his gem ready to take back control.

But after years of trying to live up to the ideal of Rose the protector, fixing the mistakes of Rose the liar, and doing better than Rose the person with the way he pushed himself to help others, he now worries about - if there’s no one else left to help but himself - who and what Steven Universe is like if he isn’t his mother.

We’ve seen him struggle to deal with this identity crisis in Little Homeschool and Little Graduation, pushing himself to solve problems that he either couldn’t find a working solution towards or likely projected onto others out of desperation from his anxieties over being left behind. 

He expects himself to already do better, already help better, already be better than all of this. His approach of putting other’s problems above his own has worked before, so he shouldn’t be failing if he’s still doing the same thing he’s done before, but with every inevitable misstep and every doubling down on trying to be more like he expects himself to be and failure, the more those expectations feel impossible to ever actually meet.

I’ve been a longtime follower of the Worm Theory ever since @novantinuum made the first post that really kicked things off for it, and soon after Volleyball aired, a thought had occurred to me in light of Steven’s attempt at managing Amethyst’s program.

With Steven’s expression from his cracked reflection at the Reef, I couldn’t help but wonder if Steven might develop the fear that - while he isn’t his mother - he might just be becoming like his mother, and especially in regards to her flaws and repeating her mistakes. 

Let me be clear, I didn’t and still don’t think that the stress from such a fear would be even remotely close to being a major instigator for Steven to become the creature from the intro from his pink mode stress response, but with these newest episodes - particularly the ending to Fragments - it has felt like all of this had come to a head for Steven, and that we’ll soon see one of the actual instigating fears for his transformation in the finale.

In the promo, Steven looks like he’s trying to assure himself that he isn’t a shatterer, trying to reaffirm what he knows about himself in the wake of his accident with Jasper, but with the shot of him clearly leaving Jasper and the Gems behind, I feel that Steven may be struggling with the fear that he’s become like his mother there.

Or rather, the (apparent) reality that he’s become “WORSE” than her.

Even with all the horrible secrets she kept, Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond had never shattered anyone, and yet here Steven is, having done exactly that.

Never mind the fact that it was an accident, never mind that he is still the same kind and loving person at heart, never mind that he deeply regrets what he did, Steven’s sense of identity has been crumbling for a good while now with losing what he defined his life by in his ability to help people, and the fact that he had shattered someone and that said someone immediately acknowledged him as their Diamond could disintegrate nearly all of what sense of identity he has left.

These last few episodes, Steven’s mental health has been on a nasty decline in struggling with feeling like he either can’t rely on his support structure in Greg and the Gems for advice with his problems or that his support structures in Connie and his friends are drifting away, and because of this and how he might feel about himself after what happened with Jasper, the only place he may feel like he should be is on Homeworld.

Steven has put so much weight on himself to be a good person, to be better than his mother and all the horrible things she did, that this might just feel like a confirmation that he isn’t a good person, that even Rose was a better person than him despite the stuff she failed spectacularly at. There’s no more expectations to live up to on top of him, only what he really is now.

He had abandoned his human side in Mr. Universe, and now all that’s left is his gem side - that is, his Diamond side.

Or at least, that’s how it’d likely seem to him. 

It’d feel like the only point of support and belonging he has left is with the other Diamonds, as the one thing Rose wasn’t and tried desperately not to be in the end was a Diamond herself, and he may feel like he should just embrace his place since he’s “just as bad as them.”

Not only that, but he also tried to emulate Jasper’s mentality, coping methods, and appearance in his struggle to find some kind of ‘solution’ for his ‘diamond powers,’ and as such, there’s one final place where he might just be able to get a ‘solution’ - even though there’s no such thing as a full on solution for dealing with trauma.

With that said, while they most likely won’t initially understand or be that concerned with Steven giving up on his humanity to be with them, I can’t help but feel like the Diamonds have changed enough that seeing Steven act “like a Diamond is supposed to” would shake them HARD.

Acting that way had been what hurt themselves and each other for millennia, and they’ve been able to feel happier and create a relatively healthier dynamic between the three of them under Steven’s guidance, so to see Steven turn his back on all of that could make them VERY concerned for him. 

It’d put up an unsettlingly ugly mirror in front of the Diamonds to the people they used to be, and that for as much as they may have wanted Steven to be with them, this isn’t what they had in mind at all.

Perhaps that might end in an ironic reversal of what happened at the end of CYM, where instead of denying Steven as individual from his mother and trying to force him to be his mother out of a callous and arrogant kind of love, White acts out of a fuller love and genuine concern for Steven, and in the heat of the moment, accidentally slips back into some old behavior.

“I only want you to be yourself! If you can't do that, I'll do it! For! You!”

But whatever their response may actually be, this could very well be the second to last major tipping point for Steven at the very least, as at that point, EVERY person and place he thought he could turn to for advice or just finally belong to would likely either feel to him like they let him down or that they’re scared of what he feels he’s become.

Not even the Diamonds themselves feel like he belongs with them, and with how he felt like Connie had flat out refused to marry him instead of leaving an opening for them to talk about it later, I can easily see him extrapolating from the Diamonds’ reactions that he’s become not only worse than his mother, but ALL of the Diamonds.

Of course, the stress and anguish from this fear of himself and what he’s become most probably wouldn’t be the key factor behind him turning into the worm creature, just one of several major stresses that would likely influence such a transformation. 

Like @faelapis has discussed, most of the other contributing stresses had already been unbalancing Steven for a long time towards this direction in his tightrope act, and this kind of recent fear would merely be the final gust of wind to finally push Steven off. 

As for how Steven could potentially be brought from the brink of this particular fear (since I’m withholding speculation on what the exact other stresses could be until we get there), I can see one way that could help Steven with this and his struggle with holding himself to the standard of always being able to help others.

Mainly, with a potential mixture of something clicking for him to help him fully understand his mother’s choices and the self-loathing that seems to have been behind so much of said choices, and for something to help him with feeling like he’s supposed to always be a hero and fixing things, instead changing it to feeling like he’s a person for whom it’s completely okay to make a mistake, like it’s okay for him to not live up to an impossible ideal.

Like he is a human with both the bad and the good that comes with it. 

That just because he has the power to change doesn’t mean that he should pressure himself to never screw up badly even by accident, and that just because he’s capable of screwing up badly even by accident doesn’t mean that he is incapable of learning, growing, and improving afterwards. 

Whether this is accomplished through a combination of Greg and the Gems acknowledging how, even though they love him, they’ve messed up badly while raising him, Connie relating to his struggle to push himself to be better with her studies as well as the shared experiences they’ve been through, and some help from all the other countless people he’s helped over the years, I can’t claim to know.

But even though it can feel hard to do, even though it feels like you’ll never be able to pull yourself out of the dark, even though it may feel like you just keep failing over and over and over again, you can still always pick yourself up and change for the better.

[shirtlesssammy]

15x10: The Heroes’ Journey

Then:

Heroes

Now:

Monster Fight Club! RAWR. In one corner we have wolf-man and in the other, we have wraith-woman. I felt like I was watching a Sci-fi channel show or another show on the CW with this opening scene. I have to give it up to the music and cinema of the sequence though. It’s quite lovely, even as the wolf-man gets stabbed to (near) death.

Meanwhile, in tiny Lebanon, Kansas, Dean’s picking up essentials (plus pie magazines) at his local Kwik Trip. 

I have many things to say about this. First, who knew Lebanon had such tall buildings in it? And I’ve read many a comment about Bobo getting his name on something, and while YES, that’s technically true, this Kwik Trip (a real regional chain of gas stations/convenience stores in Wisconsin) is also named after the comedian behind The Manitowoc Minute, Charlie Berens. The Open sign missing the ‘n’ is a reference to it as well. Bless Jerry Wanek and his love for his home state. Anyway, Dean’s credit card is declined, his fight or flight instinct kicks in when faced with the store attendant's psoriasis, he gets a toothache, AND he gets a parking ticket. 

Sam Fucking I Don’t Need Hotpads Winchester royally messes up dinner by burning the food, dropping the pasta all over the food, and breaking all the plates. 

The weirdness continues once Dean gets home. Sam trips when running to greet him and he’s getting a cold.

Dean gets a call from Garth who needs some help. On the road, they discuss their Very Bad Day. Dean thinks they’re cursed. Sam’s too busy sneezing to contribute. I’m surprised Dean didn’t make him sit in the backseat. (Did Dean seem sarcastically unhappy about Cas seeking out angel help? #missinghusbandhour). Then the ultimate travesty happens: Baby breaks down. 

They have to walk the last ten miles to Garth’s. When they make it, he welcomes them with open arms (Sam declines the hug but Dean gets one and a compliment -- “You smell so good.”)

Garth was previously feeding his twin baby boys, and he takes them to meet his children. He has a daughter, Gertie, and twin boys, Sam (named after Sam) and...Castiel. Dean is confused and disappointed. I love how there’s no explanation as to why Dean didn’t get a namesake. Natasha wrote a thing though. 

Garth then takes them to see why he called. Bess’s cousin is unconscious on Gertie’s bed. He has wraith cuts all over his body. 

Dean, the candy eating monster that he is, nabs some candy beans from Gertie’s dresser and Garth notices his pained reaction to eating them. Dean makes note of how nice Garth’s home and life are. (SOFT) Sam sneezes again and Bess tells him she has something to help. 

Beth hands Sam her family concoction for helping the common cold. Sam downs it in one go --and instantly has regrets. It’s mostly cayenne pepper. Wherps. Sidenote: Gertie’s little wolf stuffy. All the hearts! 

Poor Sam really goes through something --and it is a sight to see. Little Sam and Little Cas are sympathy crying with him and he tries to reassure them that “Big Sam’s okay.” He’s really not. 

Garth asks about Dean’s teeth and Dean confesses they’ve hurt since the previous day.

Garth takes Dean to his basement dentist office. It seems he finished getting his dental degree and is now a dentist for other werewolves. “Fang maintenance is a B.” He assesses Dean’s mouth and finds 17 cavities! 

He rolls out the nitrous oxide and gets to work. We get to stay with Dean though, AND GOOD FUCKING CHUCK ON A CRACKER. 

I can’t explain what I witnessed with my own two eyes. I really, really can’t. @neven-ebrez​ had a great thread on Twitter that I fully love. 

In any event, Dean tap dances to Cole Porter’s Let’s Misbehave. Garth starts showing him the ropes, but then he takes over on his own and starts dancing with a light stick LAMP. He blows a kiss at the lamp and ascends a stairway to heaven the top of the map table and finishes his dance. They dedicated almost 2 minutes to this scene. I --I just. can’t. Also, Dean going for the lamp is timed to line up with the “lovebirds” lyric? I’m so very tired. 

Anyway, Dean comes to with a mouth full of gauze, and presumably no cavities. 

Everyone reconvenes in the Fitzgerald’s living room. Garth wants to know what’s happening. Sam tells him that they’re kind of on the outs with God. Garth realizes that they’ve been the heroes of Chuck’s stories, and wonders, “what’s that make me? A supporting character? A special guest star?” Garth's happy being the guest star. Being the hero is the worst. Their lives are going to suck until the end. Also, little vanilla couple Garth and Bess apparently love 50 Shades. Lol. Garth points out that the hero never sweats the small stuff because that stuff ruins the story. They’re normal now. (Dean suggests cursed, which, like, lol bud, normal people's lives just suck.) 

Bess’s cousin calls for her and they all rush to his side. He doesn’t want to talk to hunters. Sam turns on the ol’ puppy dog eyes and….it does nothing. In fact, Brad can hardly believe that that shtick works at all. Ooof. Bummer, Sammy. Bess digs into the wraith wound to get some answers. And ugh. That was squishy grossness. Brad starts talking about the monster fights though. He tells them where to find the place. 

The Winchesters bid Garth farewell. Garth is VERY WORRIED about them. “The old Sam and Dean” could handle a whole warehouse of monsters but the Supernormally Normal boys don’t stand a chance. Dean’s resolute. Fighting monsters, righting wrongs? That’s just who they are. Dean implores Garth to stay home with his wife and kids, and the Winchesters head off. 

They arrive at midday outside the arena. Dean polishes off his SEVENTH grilled cheese sandwich and they gather weaponry to storm the place. Sam’s concerned that Garth’s theory that the Winchesters are normal is correct, and they need to take precautions. They gather extra ammo, dead man’s blood, and Dean pulls out his beloved precious weapon.

Upon entering, Sam immediately trips noisily over a bucket and Dean’s grilled cheese extravaganza decides to throw a party right back into his mouth. Dean races for a bathroom, leaving Sam to peruse the room holding the main fight cage. 

While Dean is throwing up in the toilet, I desperately try to pretend this isn’t happening. I’m FINE with entrails but upchuck is a hard no, apparently. The bathroom stall opens and one of the monsters from the cold open’s fight night stands there, training Dean’s grenade launcher on him.

Sam and Dean end up locked in the cage-match cage (not to be confused with the CAGE cage). The monster, Cutty, owns the fight club. “Man? Monster? They’re at their best, their most pure, in the heat of competition.” Pardon me while I fake cough “Purgatory” for twenty-five minutes. 

Cutty introduces them to their new friend, Maul, a huge monster who grimaces gloomily and flexes his muscles. He wants the Winchesters to fight Maul (together) in the cage match that evening. 

Dean tries to tell a story to get out of the situation and I HAVE NEVER BEEN PROUDER. He draws on their legends - the mighty creatures they’ve taken down - and questions whether any MERE monster should even think about trying to attack them. Nobody’s buying what he’s selling. 

A short commercial for the upcoming cage match plays. It’s….

AMAZING

All the monsters are gathered around, ready to watch the two mighty cage matches. KILLER WRAITH versus JAMAICA DJINN and MIGHTY MAUL versus THE WINCHESTERS!!!

It’s battle royale time, motherfuckers. When the first fight begins, Dean and Sam are locked up in cells just outside of the ring. “Just how I wanted to die,” Dean grouses. “With a freakin’ audience.” We shall not speak of the 200+ times we have witnessed Dean die on this show. 

Dean pulls a nail from the ceiling and proceeds to try to pick the lock. He…fails. Miserably. Sam gives it a try on his lock and neither of them can pick it. 

“Could we ever actually pick locks?” Sam asks, frustrated. I’m with others in guessing that both their natural and learned skills have been hugely demoted through Chuck’s interference and this downturn won’t last. But this is a great way to make them doubt themselves. This is the black moment in the hero’s journey - at least for this episode. They’ve never doubted themselves more! Dean delivers a stirring speech anyway. “We’re the best in the world. I say we go out there. We kick some ass.”

Cutty returns to fetch the Winchesters. “Shirts off,” he demands on the way. EYEBALLS EMOJI. But Sam and Dean are gone, the cage doors wide open! The episode rewinds, this time with another point of view. Who’s that lanky man in the floppy-eared hat walking through the crowd? It’s everyone’s favorite werewolf hero, that’s who. Garth frees them by just…BUSTING off the lock.

Outside, Sam and Dean are ready to flee. But Garth has other plans. He whips out a detonator and we get a quick clip show of Garth planting C4 around the club. The club is DECIMATED by fire. Maul survives, however, and strides out of the burning building. Garth goes up against him, but Maul knocks him out. Sam and Dean stand and face Maul, despite their low, low expectations of themselves. Like real damn heroes!

What follows is a HIGHLY comical fight. Sam and Dean do their absolute, precious best, but fortunately the fight seems to be operating on some modified Looney Toons rules. 

Garth saves them with a machete through Maul’s head. “You got Garthed!”

Back at Garth’s home, Dean and Sam cradle the babies. “This Cas keeps looking at me weird,” Dean notes. “So kinda like the real Cas,” Sam says. OH SAM. OH SHOW. How we are blessed!

They head out, Dean clutching a bag of grilled cheese sandwiches from Bess. Sam and Dean thank Garth for saving them and call him a hero. Excuse me while I CRY FOR FIVE MINUTES this is so soft. “I guess I learned from the best,” Garth returns. Garth gives them a tip - a place in Alaska where you can go when your luck’s run bad. “There’s always a catch,” Garth warns. 

They hug!

“You don’t smell so bad yourself,” Dean notes when he hugs Garth. “It’s Hai Karate,” Garth says. Guys. I love them. 

Werewolves of London plays us out. Garth and Bess dance together through the window as the Winchesters get into the Impala. It’s. So. Precious. And. Warm. 

“I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be,” Dean muses. Sam admits that Dean’s good at the Macarena. Ah, yes. My generation!

Dean and Sam reflect on their situation. Their lives are far from normal, so being “normal” is dangerous by its very nature. They need as many advantages as possible, so it’s time for a road trip to Alaska!

The music mounts dramatically! Triumphantly! It’s time to ride into the sunset!

Baby sputters out. “Son of a bitch!” Dean shouts as the screen fades to black.

Natasha: I can tell you IMMEDIATELY and WITHOUT RESERVATION that this episode is going to be on my short list of comfort rewatches for all eternity. <3

Werewolves of Quotedom:

Seriously?

Still a hugger, huh?

You smell so good!

You’re very strong

Fang maintenance is a B

Mommy, the giant’s crying!

I wanna be the guest star. Being the hero sucks.

You need a colonoscopy STAT

Just because God yanked the magic horseshoe out of our ass, doesn’t mean we’re gonna give up

I’m a growing boy!

I think you might be lactose intolerant now

You keep all your friends in a cage?

You know them. You don’t like them. The WINCHESTERS

You are SO STRONG

C4, a hunter’s best friend

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[wildandsexyjacks]

Where We Left Off

Pairing: Cho Seungyoun + Reader

Genre: Fluff? Maybe a little comedy? idk

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: Mild swearing

In retrospect, it would have been better to just say no. 

When your friend came to work giggling and saying she had met the perfect guy for you to get over your idiotic ex-boyfriend with, you should have thanked her and politely declined her offer to set up a date with him.

It came from a good place, a place of love and concern, you knew that much. The poor girl had to put up with your incessant crying for over a week after your breakup with Seungyoun, so of course, she was worried - but you were fine now. Really.

The problem is: from the day you first met her, you’ve always had a hard time denying her anything. She’s always so bright and cute she can get away with pretty much anything, so just to humor her you had decided to accept the offer and go on the damn date.

Now you wish you hadn’t done it.

Not that the guy’s terrible. Far from it, he seems actually pretty decent. Fresh out of med school, he wants to save lives and help people and believes health care should be free for everyone. He’s smart and handsome, speaks with a lovely accent, and would generally fit your friend’s description of him as The Perfect Guy™…. If he wasn’t so dull you can’t even remember his name. Colin? Connor? You really have no idea.

While he tells you yet another story of his life as a medical resident, you poke at your chicken with a fork and consider faking a stroke or something simply to make him shut up. Then you remember he’s a doctor. It would probably just be an opportunity for him to showcase his abilities. 

Damn.

“... And I was like ‘Mrs. Kim, you can’t smoke in here!’ but she blew smoke right on my face and went all ‘I’ll do as I please’ and…” someone clears their throat behind you, and he stops telling his story “Um... Can I help you?”

To your surprise, Cho Seungyoun goes around the table and stops by your side. He looks better than he should while being your ex, and a small corner of your mind tells you it’s not good that you noticed it. For some reason, he seems mad.

“Y/N! Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” he waves a folded paper sheet on your face “You weren’t picking up your phone so the doctor called me to confirm your appointment. Why didn’t you tell me?”

You frown. What the hell is he talking about?

“What was your plan?” Seungyoun insists, not even giving you a chance to answer, speaking slightly louder now “Dropping out of school and praying I would never find out? Well, that ship has sailed now.”

Turning his back to the guy at your table - Jesus, what is his name? - Seungyoun waggles his eyebrows in a way you know too well and then it hits you: he’s effectively making this up to try and ruin your date, even though you don’t understand why.

It takes more effort than you initially thought, but since you were looking for a way out, you manage to keep a straight face and decide to play along.

“We are over, Seungyoun. It’s none of your business.”

“Excuse me, sir.” Your date chimes in, confused “Who are you?”

“He’s leaving.” You explain.

Seungyoun flashes you one final amused smile before turning to face him - Maybe his name is Colin? He looks like a Colin.

“Who am I? Who am...? Who are you?!” He facepalms, and lets out a muffled sigh through his hand “Who’s this, Y/N? Your new boy? I will die before I let this tool raise my son!”

“Wait-” Possibly-Colin looks at him a little shocked. “What?”

“Daughter.” You correct with a deadpan. “And I’m sure he’ll be a better dad than you!”

“What?” as Possibly-Colin asks again, you try really hard not to laugh.

Seungyoun’s lower lip trembles, and for a second you think he might actually cry “It’s… It’s a girl?”

Completely panicked by now, your date stands up so fast he bumps into the table, then fishes for his wallet inside his back pocket and proceeds to drop some money on the table.

“OKAY, you two clearly have a lot to talk about so I’ll leave you to it.” he takes his jacket and phone “I’ll call you, Y/N.”

“Colin, wait!” You call, getting up from your chair.

“It’s Charles.”

Charles, of course. He leaves you at the table with your ex and made-up baby and aims for the door. When he’s finally out of sight, Seungyoun makes a sad face, pouting at you.

“I don’t think he’s going to call.”

The both of you break out laughing until you remember you’re mad at him.

“Why are you here? And more importantly what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

He stands awkwardly by the table, tapping his foot on the marble floor. You can almost see the gears turning in his head to come up with a reasonable motive for him to show up out of the blue and ruin your date.

“Well, I was the one who brought you here for the first time, all those years ago, remember? You don’t own the place and it’s MY favorite restaurant too, I can come whenever I want.” he rolls his eyes, defensive “I was just having a few drinks with Hangyul-” he points to the bar and you recognize his roommate waving at you from the stool “then I saw you here with Mr. Fancy Pants and noticed you were being viciously tortured with utter boredom so I decided to help.”

He's absolutely right but you’ll never admit to it, so in an attempt to avoid lying you yank the folded paper from his hand to take a peep inside. It’s a music theory exam from a class you both go to and you remember staying up late to study together on more than one occasion. It’s his favorite subject.

“You’re a fucking troll, Seungyoun.”

He laughs and winks at you.

“You used to like that about me, darling.”

The statement makes you frown.

“Don’t call me that.”

His smile falters. “You used to like that, too.” He tries, in a small voice.

“Used to.”

You stare at each other as your dinner gets cold and some clients whisper about what’s happening. You hear the words baby and boyfriend very clearly and sigh.

“What do you want, Seungyoun?”

As if you had invited him to stay, he moves to sit on the now vacant chair, and you slide back into your seat as well. Being exposed to Seungyoun’s sweet smile is probably a set back to your arduous work on getting him out of your system, but maybe if you talk it out like grown adults and then walk your separate ways, it will hurt less to see him in class.

He shifts in his seat, then starts fiddling with a napkin while avoiding eye contact. He seems nervous, almost scared, and chooses his words very carefully before speaking: 

“Listen, I know I don’t deserve the best boyfriend award...”

“... You don’t say!” You look at him blankly and he puts his hands up in defeat.

“Okay, point taken. But come on Y/N, we were pretty good together for almost a year. It wasn’t all bad, was it?”

It wasn’t, really. In fact, Seungyoun was fun and romantic and gentle and in general a great boyfriend when he was around. The problem was that he was never around all that much, to begin with, especially after he started participating in rap battles with some guys from college. Between classes and friendships and his underground rapper stuff, he was too busy to be with you most of the time, it was like he always had more serious plans or some sort of inevitable appointment. You’d tried to be supportive, after all, he had worked so hard to get to where he was now in his career as a rising hip-hop star... But after so many months you couldn’t help feeling neglected, so you broke things off because you deserved better than what Seungyoun was willing to offer at that time. It was a difficult decision and you missed him a lot at first, but you were better now.

Sort of.

For the most part, at least.

“What do you want?” You ask again, annoyed at him for showing up when you were trying to forget him and at yourself for letting him do so.

“Nothing is fun without you.” He states matter of factly “My hip-hop gigs don’t mean anything when you’re not there to cheer me on. Cold pizza at 3 a.m tastes horrible if you’re not by my side pouring ketchup in literally everything.” He rolls his eyes “It’s a disgusting habit of yours but I miss even that. You know... I didn’t even finish watching Game Of Thrones because you weren’t there to cuss at Jon Snow with me.” He then sighs and looks at you in a way that breaks your heart “I can’t ever sleep on Friday nights anymore because you were supposed to sneak in and share the bed with me and when you don’t it just... It doesn’t feel right.”

“Seungyoun...”

“Tell me how to fix this.” He begs, clasping his hands together until his knuckles go white “Please, I need to fix this. I’ve been reflecting on what’s truly important in my life and what I hope for the future, and I can be the boyfriend you deserve if you give me another chance. I will do that, I mean it. Please, let’s start over.”

He looks the same yet slightly different - all wide eyes and trembling hands now, a picture of both hope and sorrow. Your heart aches for the millionth time in these three months you’ve been apart. 

Nothing is as fun without him too, you realize.

Not your classes, not binge-watching tv shows for two days straight on weekends, not drinking cheap wine while discussing classical music until you fall asleep on the floor of your dorm.

Certainly not having dinner dates at your favorite restaurant either, and that’s just one of the many reasons why Colin-Charles never stood a chance.

The place is packed and you can feel the heavy stares of every customer and employee near your table on the scene unfolding, but you don’t really care. Heart racing like crazy, you reach across the table - knocking the flower vase over in the process - and grab Seungyoun by the lapels. His eyes grow big as he waits for whatever is coming, and not even you are sure if you’d rather kiss him or slap him when your lips come together. Then you pull back again and leave him leaning over the table blinking at you in surprise.

“I don't think we can start over, but maybe we could pick up from where we left off.”