#you can block whatever tags you want but i see no reason to ss the list and post it while telling ppl they suck

[thefatcat-13]

whats the dumbest reason you blocked someone?

[ssslimyboy]

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- This blog has one mod, @yourelost-itsokay (I started this blog when I was 15!) I am not currently looking for additional mod applicants, but if you really really wanted to, you could contact me on my Discord @/zhyza (or for other reasons too! I'm friendly. I think.)

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- Submissions are open

- All ships are fair game except for the obvious incest (however, I do tend to have a bias toward Logicality and Prinxiety, but I try to mix it up)

- All relationships, platonic or romantic, are tagged for your convenience

- All sides are sympathetic, but at the current stage, I think that's canon as well. Still, every character is tagged "[name] sanders" and "ts [name]", as well as "[name] mention" for when they're referred to but don't speak, so you can block whatever you need

- Speaking of blocking tags: current tws/cws include: #swearing, #food mention, #alcohol mention/#alcohol ment tw, #eating non foods, #kidnapping, #arson/#tw arson, #tw knife, #violence/#tw violence, #barf mention, #animal death/#pet death, #drug mention, #spider mention, #caps lock/#tw caps lock, #tw car accident

- Please do not repost these quotes on other sites such as Twitter or Instagram WITHOUT ASKING. I know that neither the characters nor the quotes are my intellectual property, but I enjoy doing this as a hobby, and seeing other people take credit for it is incredibly frustrating. However, you are your own person, and I can't tell you what to do. I can't prove anything if a similar quote pops up on another site, but I ask that you at least respect me enough not to post a direct screenshot without asking.

- Lastly, if you read all of this, thank you! I really appreciate it.

[littleashesefall]

This but also celebrities are people too. You can have s strong opinion and not want to post it or just throw it out- yea even against horrendous things. Also, it could be a mental health thing where "i won't post at length about things that spending too much time considering will put me in a headspace that will trigger or induce trauma" which personally for me, although I'm not a celebrity, is why I have things like "Russia, war, Palestine, Israel, Ukraine " all under tag blocks. I go to tumblr to cope with things that at times feel like I just can't cope with and seeing horrific bloody pictures, or angry rants sometimes being violently anti Semitic or anti Muslim will fuck me up mentally. So I protect myself. No I don't have thousands of followers like a celeb but if I did does that mean I'm suddenly not allowed to self care? Will me posting my outrage stop these things from happening any more than someone posting anti abortion outrage will stop abortion? (Although I'm 100 pro choice and abortion rights are all but dead but it wasn't because of celebrity posts it was because people with money and power in government).

Then there is the whole job aspect. There hundreds of celebrities who were petrified of speaking out about abuse they endured because it would end their careers and no career means no food, no shelter, no clothes. Yes, it's 100% important to stand with members who.have been abused and to step up and say Me Too and thank God eventually that movement came to be but it doesn't mean they should be put down or judged of they were too afraid to step forward. For whatever reason, be it a physical threat of violence like what P Diddy did to his victims or due to being black listed and ending their livelihood.

Not everyone can be a physical soldier, so some advocate and protest. It doesn't make them less than. Not everyone can protest and advocate safely so they do what they can in secret or in silence (like the members who joined the SS during WW2 to help as many Jews from the inside as possible without arousing suspicions), it doesn't make them less than. Some people can't do anything but not fall apart and kill themselves over a world that feels like its perpetually going to shit and that's okay too. It doesn't mean they don't see or they don't care. If we all judged less (and trust me my ass judges too, so I'm not all the way up on this soap box) maybe things would get a little better? At least some of the time.

Loving the new counterpoint that not only is posting activism, not posting is complicity. Why doesn't everyone with any fame or internet presence immediately release a lengthy but perfectly-worded statement telling us where they stand on every issue? Is it because they're evil??? It must be because they're evil

And then the usual answer is "they don't post online very much". Which is all very suspicious, don't they know everything of importance is done by posts on social media now

[riorsonxaden]

I'm not going to unblock this person so they can see. I'm sure one of their pals is watching my account still. Getting ready to SS and put it on Twitter or something. (Hey! Hi how are you btw? Still being petty and snooping? Wonderful).

Anyway, yall seem to be pressed about me informing my side of the Fandom about this voting thing. So here we go.

1. The MOST IMPORTANT. I pay for these overlays. The acotar ones are sitting pretty in my copy. My acomaf ones I ordered the day it went live. In the future I will be purchasing the acowar ones, the acofas, and the acosf ones. With that being said, as a purchasing customer, if the company is having a vote on which artwork to showcase in the set, I have every right to put a fierce say in what is done. I'd rather not pay around $40 for an E/riel scene. I don't ship it. I don't wanna see it in art form. I'd like to point out that in the event it was going to be added it wouldn't sway my decision in purchasing the overlays. I still would.

2. Had it been voted and done. You guys would have been harassing us because it's canon now. And that we lost (even though this is false and elucien was in a overlay print for acomaf first). As always you would have been unnecessary about it.

3. I meant what I said. I don't want anymore drama. Look who's causing the uproar about this? You guys are. You are furthering my point. You blow everything. EVERYTHING OUT PROPORTION. My six year old acts better than this.

4. You do realize. Instead of being pissy you could have made a post similar to mine encouraging E/riels to vote for the scene? But I guess its easier to throw a tantrum over a post instead.

5. There are a lot of people reading these books and not caring about ships and ship wars. They dont care of the endgames. They vote too. Just food for thought. Im sure on facebook in multiple groups people shared the voting as well. Maybe not for the same reason i did. Maybe to defend your sinking ship. Regardless What's done is done. The vote is over.

6. It's very easy to scroll. I tagged it appropriately. I only made it where my targeted audience could see. I used an Anti E/riel tag. I made it like to keep the peace. So you guys can do whatever it is you do on your side of the fandom. Instead you guys sit there following accounts and tags that you know are not good for your ship. And then blast it when you find a post to attack. I guess points for blocking out names but still.

Why can't you guys just chill? Why can't you guys just love and support your ship. Stay on your side of the fandom. Stop looking for things that's problematic for your ship.

Yall are in a uproar about this when you could be voting for the scene where Feyre and Az save Elain. Like ???

[berlinbabylon]

Hi! A few weeks ago, in an answer, you made reference to Volker Bruch's role in Unsere Mütter, Unsere Väter. I've never seen it and had been wanting to (although I'm arguably less motivated now that Volker Bruch has been so ... ugh lately), but would you mind expanding upon what you meant? This whole situation is so disappointing and frustrating (but I say this as someone who only discovered BB/VB in December of last year)!

Oh boy, where to begin! The issues with Unsere Mütter, unsere Väter are so layered. I guess I'll break it down into: (1) Issues with the miniseries itself, and (2) issues with the reception of it.

1) So as to the first point, it's been a long time since I saw and I don't want to be too negative about it. It's well-made and some parts of it are better than others. I remember that I didn't think the writing was great (that's true for many German productions where the scripts tend to be the weak link), like it relied too much on coincidental meetings of characters in unlikely scenarios and so on. But okay, whatever. The actual issue with the miniseries arises from the way in which it was titled and marketed ("our mothers, our fathers" – of course Generation War sounds a bit more oblique in English and obfuscates that the people behind the miniseries wanted to do something that was supposedly representative of what "our" immediate ancestors went through during the war). From a historian's POV, the group of young people that they chose to focus on was really not in any way, shape or form representative of most young German people at the time and you can't blame the Polish for being pissed about the representation they got (which painted the Polish partisans as antisemitic and the issue with that wasn't that antisemitism didn't exist among Polish partisans but rather that the way the miniseries emphasizes their antisemitism while being way too revisionist about the German protagonists in that regard is just not a good look). A history professor put everything into words that I was thinking back then, it's in German but you can put it through DeepL and I highly recommend the read, regardless of how you feel about the miniseries: https://taz.de/Unsere-Muetter-unsere-Vaeter/!5070893/ ("Nazis are always the others" – yes there are some evil German Nazis of course, the cliché ones, the commanding officers, the Gestapo guy and so on but we are not invited to identify with them, we are not invited to consider them part of our ancestry and we are also not invited to consider that most Germans at the time were not victims of circumstance but active participants in the system, unless we're talking about resistance groups which were obviously the exception and not what the miniseries posits as the core 'generation' – one who, we might add, would've been exactly the one to have gone through the whole youth indoctrination unlike older people at the time). So yeah there's a lot to unpack there in terms of how German remembrance culture works and I'll leave it at that, it's a huge topic that would need its own essay. The miniseries is 'fine' TV but it has a certain role in cultural memory production that is, at the very least, questionable and should be considered with some critical distance from its qualities as a drama.

2) There's another issue though and that's more what I was referring to. Basically Volker Bruch playing a Wehrmacht soldier in that miniseries gained him quite a following of wehraboos and in some cases straight up Neonazis. For the longest time, whenever you were searching for posts about him here on Tumblr, they came from accounts that... man, how do I say this. Okay first of all wehraboos are Wehrmacht stans and I came across a big number of them in this context (and in the context of Volker Bruch fandom specifically) where their tumblrs were all about the aesthetic~ of German Wehrmacht soldiers and I just... to say that I found these blogs disturbing is putting it mildly. Often these were run by young women from countries like the Netherlands, Italy or wherever else in the world and my only explanation for this phenomenon is that they grew up with a very stereotypical view of Germans during WWII = evil, so when they discovered that some of them were young (sometimes handsome) men who were also just regular guys, they took this to mean that everyone had been terribly mistaken to lump in 'regular' soldiers with the SS and so they ran in the other direction. I mean, obviously there are distinctions to be made. But the Wehrmacht was also heavily involved in war crimes, so. All that teenage fawning over black and white pictures of real people who may have been involved in real atrocities... well. But that was still comparatively mild. When I first made Babylon Berlin gifs (before it was shown in the US on Netflix, before I made this sideblog, before there was a sizeable interest in these gifs aside from Volker Bruch stans), the accounts that reblogged them... I mean, there were actual Neonazi accounts among those. One I will never forget. Back then I still looked at reblogs to see if people had some commentary in the tags and so I opened this one blog and it was dedicated to Reinhard Heydrich, the "Butcher of Prague". On the front page, there were reblogs of Hitler gifs. Hitler greeting some kids, people doing the Nazi salute. The rest I've blocked from my memory. I had accidentally stumbled across a corner of Tumblr that was entirely sinister. I felt so sick. I ended up blocking and reporting it but this hellsite never gave me a reply so who even knows if anything happened.

So long story short: Ever since then I've resented the fact that Volker Bruch being in Unsere Mütter, unsere Väter gained him Neonazi followers (also tells you something about the miniseries, doesn't it) and I also resented that me just wanting to make Babylon Berlin gifs meant I had to see this stuff. So I stopped making any BB gifs (or at least any containing him) for a while and it's also the reason I never made many gifs of Gereon unless requested. I don't want to say that I feel vindicated after finding out that Volker Bruch is a complete idiot because I never paid much attention to him personally but I was also never his biggest fan, I find his acting range limited, he has a certain vibe and look that goes well with certain period dramas (actually only 20th century ones because he looked rough in the Goethe movie... I actually much prefer Alexander Fehling as an actor but that's neither here nor there). Anyway, there you go.

[medeafive]

Blood and Stone - 19

Masterpost

"Oh, thank God."

"This stuff is really scary."

"How long was that? Five minutes?"

"Yeah, six or so."

"Definitely works very quickly."

"It's just the pulse. The other problems are-"

"Mhm."

"Oh, she's even awake."

She opens her eyes, somehow much easier than before. Rough silhouettes standing and sitting around. "I think it works," Tony's voice says. "Though we shouldn't stop the blood transfusions."

"With what blood?" Bruce asks. "This is the last one."

"Blood is really hard to get," Fury remarks. "And dangerous."

"What if we donated?" Sharon suggests. "What's her blood type?"

"She's an A+. She could only get donations from A or O, positive or negative."

"Well, I'm O-," Sharon replies. "So you could take some of me and give it to her."

"You're an universal donor?" Sam questions. "Wow, you should be donating blood all the time."

"Wait, I'll get my emergency sheet," Bruce remarks.

Pepper chuckles. "Does anyone else think it's weird that we're discussing blood donations when there's a vampire in the room?"

"I don't even know what that blood type is," James says.

"It's about antigens, who can donate to whom," Sam explains. "Maybe you could smell or taste the difference."

"Oh, don't turn this into a fucking wine tasting," Tony throws in.

"Here." Bruce flips through a folder. "Pepper is B+, so she's out. Clint is AB, also out. Right, Sharon is O-, Tony is O+, I'm A+. Fury is A-. Sam is B-, he's out."

"What about plasma," Tony suggests. "Isn't that the inverse?"

Bruce starts rubbing his temples. "Right. AB plasma can be donated to any blood type. But there's no way to get a B donor and an A recipient together."

"That's Pepper and me," Sam remarks. "We're really out. But if everyone else gives a little-"

"We should give her as little as possible," Bruce warns. "From as little people as possible. Preferably type A. I can cross-test the blood but there's always a risk- wait, she's pregnant. We can only give her O- until we know the foetus' blood type."

"Oh, great, I've always wanted to do a paternity test," Tony decides.

"Come on, he's a vampire, he doesn't have a blood type," Clint throws in.

"Well, if he can have kids, maybe that's… a lot more conventional than we think," Sam suggests.

"He's blood type O," Sharon whispers. "Or he was."

" What ," James interrupts.

"They put it on the dog tags, during WWII," Sharon explains slowly. "In case someone needed an emergency blood transfusion. The SS even had tattoos."

"How the fuck would you-"

"I wanted to show you this." She pulls out the photos. "They're not very good but- this guy. You should remember."

James jerks back as if they're scorching hot. "I don't remember anything."

"But you do, don't you," Sharon insists.

"Do you really all need to be here all the time," Natasha interjects. "It's exhausting."

"You're right," Sam agrees, getting up. "We'll let you work it out. How are you feeling, though?"

"Like shit," Natasha replies. "No surprise there."

"I'd like to take blood right now, Sharon," Bruce suggests. "If that's okay. Then I have time to test it."

"You two can stay," Natasha decides. "And James. Everyone else, out."

  Tony grins. "Oh, you sound a lot better."

"I really don't remember," James repeats.

Sharon snorts, staring up at the ceiling. "Nat, your friend is super annoying."

"I just can't-" James groans. "There's nothing there. Really."

"But that's you in the picture," Natasha argues, chewing. "Definitely."

"Maybe," James admits. "But I'm not so sure. And not so sure if it matters."

"Of course it matters," Natasha replies, reaching in the bag again. "And- I'll let Sharon break that to you."

Sharon snorts. "Oh, thank you ."

"What the fuck- how many secrets do you have," James complains.

"It's not a secret," Natasha justifies. "Just very recent."

"Well, the blonde tall guy in the picture, Steve, he's-" Sharon sighs. "He crashed with an aircraft, in 1944. You wouldn't know that. And- do you know about the ice block?"

"Yeah, I told him," Natasha confirms, putting another chocolate bean in her mouth.

"Yeah, but I didn't really care," James remarks. "The guy you're trying to revive with vampire blood, wasn't it."

"He wasn't dead ," Bruce objects.

"Yeah, and now he's really up," Sharon adds. "Except right now he's sleeping, recovering. Anyway, he's the blond guy in the picture. Steve."

"Wait, how isn't he dead?" James questions. "Now?"

"Long story," Bruce replies. "But basically, the ice stops the aging process."

"Well, good for him," James replies. "I don't see- wait, if I'm really the guy in the picture, then- then he'd know me? Shit."

"He definitely would," Sharon confirms. "That's why we're telling you."

"You can't tell him-" James looks around frantically. "Did you tell him about- vampires? Please don't tell him."

"He does know about the vampires, though I'm not sure he understands the scope of it," Sharon explains. "But nothing about you."

"You can't tell him- imagine what a shock that would be," James argues. "Finding out your best friend has turned into a- a monster, do you know how much bad- don't do that to him."

"You're not a monster," Natasha repeats. "But you seem really worked up about this."

"Come on, he's going to find out," Sharon returns. "I mean, what are we supposed to tell him who got her pregnant?"

"Speaking of, I'd like to do another ultrasound," Bruce throws in. "Monitor the growth. Sharon will be done soon."

"Will I?" Sharon asks. "Good."

"Yeah, that's enough for now," Bruce replies. "Don't get up too fast, eat and drink a lot, don't exercise, you know the drill."

"Yeah, okay," Natasha agrees. "Can't hurt."

"I'm also going to take a little blood from you to cross-match," Bruce adds. "See whether it agglutinates. Just to be safe."

"Where is that guy even," James complains. "Please tell me he's not-"

"Next door," Sharon replies. "Yup. Get over it."

"Get over it?" James repeats, horrified. "Do you really wanna do that to him, imagine him finding out- as if he hasn't already enough on his plate, and the- I really don't remember and if I really was that and now I'm- this- don't do that. Don't tell him."

"Look, I feel you," Natasha replies, chewing. "But we can't control- if he wakes up, he can just walk over at any point."

Bruce bites his lip. "Actually- I locked him in."

Sharon laughs. "Really? Didn't expect that from you, Bruce."

"This is very expensive lab equipment," Bruce justifies. "I don't want him running around, unsupervised-"

"So you could have a head start," Natasha states. "Before running into him."

"I'm not sure I'm keen on breaking that to Steve," Sharon ponders. "So maybe… I don't know. You're not getting out of this for long. And you don't need to, Steve is very understanding-"

"With all due respect," James interrupts. "You don't know that guy, except from the rosy tales of your granny, and this is not- not some minor- if I ever was that guy, I am not anymore. I'm so much worse."

"So do we do the ultrasound right now?" Natasha asks.

"No reason to wait," Bruce replies, removing the needle from Sharon's arm. "Don't get up just yet. Maybe you could- we have plenty of food here, don't we."

"Yeah, gimme that bacon sandwich," Sharon demands. "Are those M&Ms?"

"Something like it," Natasha replies, handing the bag over to James so he can give it to Sharon. "Guess I'll stop munching for a minute, for the scan."

"Yeah, just a second, let me get my… things in order," Bruce says, looking around in confusion. "God, this- everything- I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Same," Natasha remarks, licking her fingers. "Same."

"Yeah, but you- whatever." Bruce adjusts his glasses. "Yes. Ultrasound. Could you move out of the way?"

James gets up reluctantly, taking exactly one step back. "What is that even?"

"Something to look inside," Natasha explains, pushing her shirt up and her pants down below her hip bones. "That's it. Doesn't do anything else. Except it's cold and tickles."

"I guess you'll have to live with that," Bruce suggests, spreading the gel over her stomach. "Let me see…"

"Mind if I stay?" Sharon asks between bites.

"Sure, nothing secret about it," Natasha replies. "James, I think you need to step back."

James reluctantly takes another step back. "I don't like this."

"Don't you want to see?" Sharon suggests. "How it's growing?"

"No," James replies. "Not really."

"Won't take long," Natasha promises as Bruce places the transducer on her abdomen. "Right?"

"Right." Bruce shakes his head. "Really, I don't really know what to look for. I just want to take a picture to document the growth, for when Bobbi arrives."

"Sounds like a good idea," Natasha replies. "I should stop talking, shouldn't I?"

"Would be helpful if you moved less," Bruce mutters. "Oh, there. Now let's see..."

Sharon sits up to peer at the screen. "Oh my. That's really quite grown already."

"Sharon, could you hold the transducer?" Bruce asks, trying to flip a book open with one hand. "I have to…"

"Sure." Sharon gets up and slips past James, smiling at Natasha. Bruce pushes his sleeves up and leans over the book. "Yeah, okay. Okay. Move it a little, without taking it off."

Sharon lets the transducer glide over the gel. "Wow, I think it's really gotten bigger already," Bruce whispers. "Looks more like the picture at 20 weeks than at 16 weeks."

Natasha gulps, which James notices. "Honestly… are you sure that's a baby?"

Sharon snorts loudly. "Oh wow. You're going to be a horrible father."

"Definitely a fetus," Bruce replies, staring at the screen. "Move it a little, again. Mhm. I can't really see anything that looks… not human."

Natasha bites her lip. "Is it a boy or a girl?" Sharon asks.

Bruce snorts softly. "Don't nail me down on this, but… I think it's not a boy. I think we'd see that."

"Wait, it just-" Sharon also stares at the screen. "I think it's sucking on its thumb."

"Let's just take the pictures and then we're done," Bruce suggests. "Then Natasha can go back to sleep."

  She's not as exhausted as before but still very tired, and so she is out very quickly and sleeps for what feels like forever. A shutting door wakes her up. "Wow, you look like shit."

She pries her eyes open. James, at her bedside, turns. "Yeah, you," Clint adds. "You know, you always look dead but now you look like it was painful, too."

James bares his fangs. "What do you want?"

"Get some sleep," Clint demands. "You're not helping here. Yeah, yeah, I'll look after her."

James clearly doesn't like the idea, still the threatening fangs. "It's fine," Natasha mutters, eyes half-closed. "I'll just sleep anyway."

James' hand, now warm, comes to her cheek. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, sure," she whispers. "Just come back later, rested."

He lets go reluctantly. "Okay. I won't be away long."

She's got the feeling he will. Who knows how long he hasn't slept. "You can have my bed."

It looks like he doesn't want to kiss her, in front of Clint, so he touches her cheek again. "Okay. Take care. Sleep well."

Clint rolls his eyes as James passes him, moving slowly for his standards. Natasha sighs, closing her eyes, rolling onto her back. A chair screeches over the concrete floor. The door closes. Natasha snorts. "Are you going to give me the silent treatment again?"

"You're really insane," Clint says. "You know that?"

"Yeah, so what?" Natasha returns. "What about it? Weren't you the one who said go for it?"

"I said carefully ," Clint replies. "And don't fuck it up. But you clearly fucked it up, so…"

"This is fucking it up?" Natasha cuts in.

"Yep." The chair screeches again. "Or did you want this?"

"Oh, come the fuck on."

"He definitely didn't," Clint remarks. "Still doesn't. So you know what that means."

"I'm making him?" Natasha opens her eyes. "Is that what you're saying?"

"He's really not father material," Clint states. "You know that. You can't make him into something that he's not. He'll try but it won't change a thing."

"You know all about fathers, don't you," Natasha shoots back venomously.

"Fuck off," Clint returns calmly. "And you're not better. You're good at killing vampires, you're not a mother ."

"And I can't be both?" Natasha questions.

"You're insane, you're vicious, you're a killer," Clint states. "That's good for a hunter but impossible for a mother. And I guess you think you need to be kind and caring and soft, for some reason, but you just aren't."

"I was, though," Natasha whispers. "I really was. Before."

"That's not you anymore," Clint replies. "That's just how it is, I'm sorry. And you always had it in you. Don't try to be something that you're not, just because you think that's what you need to be happy. You'll fail and then it'll be worse."

"You don't know who I am," Natasha returns. "What I am. What I can be."

"Kinda do," Clint contends. "And then there's the fact that you'll definitely die from this."

Natasha snorts. "Oh yeah. You totally know that as well."

"I really don't know who you're doing this for," Clint remarks. "Seems like you just have to prove something to yourself. And die doing it."

"Look, none of us know what will happen," Natasha reminds him. "Don't pretend you do. You don't know shit."

"Please." Clint folds his hands. "Just tell me I'm wrong."

"Of course you're wrong!" Natasha throws back. "This is not about proving anything."

Clint snorts, kneading his fingers. "Oh, Tasha, you can't lie to me."

"The fuck do you even want," she spits out. "You don't get it, so just leave me alone."

"If you wanna be with him, I get that," Clint states. "I don't like it but I get it. No reason to make little monster babies, though."

"You're just jealous, aren't you," she hisses. "You wanted to have kids with Bobbi and she didn't. And now you can't bear seeing me have one."

Clint grins coldly, leaning forward. Looks very ugly. "Whatever Bobbi and I were, before I fucked up… trust me, you and him are not that. And you will never come even close."

"Yeah, maybe that's good," Natasha remarks sourly. "Given how you turned out."

"You don't even know him," Clint remarks. "You met him, what, two months ago? Three? The couple of nights you snuck out? That's nothing."

"For the last fucking time, it's not about him," Natasha returns. "It's about what I want. If you even care about that."

"Not fair," Clint remarks, getting up from the turned chair. "Fine, I'll go. Just… this job, it changes you. Everyone. Hardens you. And that's okay. It's okay if you lost your nurturing side, if you ever had one. Just don't pretend it's still there."

  "I know he's going to disappoint me," Natasha whispers. "I know that. I'm fully prepared for that. Everyone will disappoint me sooner or later. The trick is not to trust too much. But… but not my baby."

"Hm?" Tony makes, behind the metal mask, then turns on the welder again, drowning out any response she might have had.

Bruce is inspecting her and Sharon's combined blood sample for clotting or something like that. When the welding noise dies down painfully, he sighs. "Tony, could you shut up for a moment?"

"What?" Tony pushes up the metal mask. "You're asking me in advance ?"

Bruce rolls his eyes, staring intently at the blood. "Just say yes."

"Fine." Tony pulls the mask all the way off. "Was gonna do some finetuning anyway. Don't mind me."

Bruce sighs again. "Yeah, so, Nat, about the scan you don't want to do… The endovaginal one."

"Did you seriously wait until James is gone to talk about that?" Natasha questions.

"Excuse me, he looked ready to murder someone the second you pushed up your shirt for the ultrasound," Bruce defends. "I don't think he'd like this."

"Can't we wait until Clint's ex is here?" Natasha asks. "That would be more comfortable for everyone involved."

"Could take a few more days," Bruce replies. "And this thing is growing so fast… I just want to make sure she has the best possible information ready when she arrives."

"Can I say something?" Tony suggests innocently.

"I know you don't like it," Bruce hurries to say. "And I've been thinking… I don't have to do it myself. I could ask Sharon or Pepper to assist."

Natasha bites her lip. "I don't know."

"I'd just have to look at the screen," Bruce adds. "Really."

"Could you…" She hesitates. "Could you ask Sam?"

"Seriously?" Tony interjects, switching to a bigger screwdriver.

"Yeah, sure," Bruce replies immediately. "But it's not about medical knowledge. Pepper or Sharon could do it just as well. Also, Sam's only trained in emergency medicine, nothing that would help here."

"I'd prefer if he did it," Natasha insists. "If he agrees, of course. If you could ask."

"If you… okay." Bruce shakes his head, pushing the vial away. "I'll ask. Right now, or…?"

"Yeah, right now, we should have plenty of time," Natasha replies. "And Tony, you better fuck off or I'll tell Pepper."

Tony grins, stuffing the screwdriver between his teeth. "Mhm. No fankf. Gah. Fuft a fecond."

"I hope he's awake," Bruce remarks, closing the door behind him.

Tony yanks the screwdriver out again and drills something in. "Mhm. There. So, seriously, Sam?"

"Come the fuck on," Natasha remarks. "You know I'm not that comfortable… it's not about having a vagina."

"He's going to say no," Tony states, lifting up the metal parts. "With your creepy bat boyfriend around. I mean, if he's smart."

"That's purely medical," Natasha returns. "It's just awkward, it doesn't mean anything."

Tony grins, putting the metal parts down and getting up. "Oh, sure. I wouldn't bet on it."

  Sam doesn't say no and now she's in a weird hospital gown, feet planted, and Bruce is pointedly only looking at the screen. "Tell me if it hurts," Sam remarks.

Oh, she must have pulled a face again. She shakes her head, willing the expression away. "Could you…" Bruce starts.

"Deeper?" Sam asks.

Bruce blushes, nodding. The gloved fingers sink in a little deeper, uncomfortable, she's not that wide. It's not only weird, it kinda hurts, stretching and poking. She blinks, staring at the ceiling, clenching fists. "Is that…?" Sam asks.

Bruce nods, pushing some buttons. "Yeah."

Natasha turns her head, glad for the distraction from the fact that Sam has the transducer and his fingers up her vagina. "What?"

"The heartbeat," Bruce replies. "It shows."

Natasha bites her lip. "And it moves, stretches," Sam adds, looking at the screen. "Do you feel that?"

She shakes her head. "Are we done soon?"

"Sorry," Sam remarks. "Bruce, are we-"

"Little to the left," Bruce interrupts. "I'd like to take a closer look at that."

  She wakes up when something touches her hand, warm but firm, like a cobblestone in the sun. Opens her eyes hazily. It's dark down here, but it's James, and they're alone otherwise. "Mhm."

"Hey," James whispers. "How are you?"

He looks better, at least. Natasha sighs. "Okay. Tired. Hungry."

"I'll get you something in a minute," James promises, rubbing her hand. "Just… I thought about it and… can I talk to you?"

She lets her head drop to the side, staring at the wall. "Yes."

"Please don't have the baby," James says. "I know it's not my- it's your decision but- please don't."

She doesn't say anything, heaving chest the only sign she's not dead. "Even if it's your decision, it's still my responsibility," he continues. "I know you don't want to hear that it's my fault but- you wouldn't be in this without me. And I want to be there for you, help you, not leave you alone with problems I created- but I can't. You know what I am. I don't like it but I can't change it."

A tear runs down her cheek and he picks it up, staring at the drop on his finger. "I'll disappoint you, sweetheart. I'm not… human enough to do this. I don't want to abandon you but even if I stay, it's as good as that. I can't give you that, do that, what you need. I'd rather be not a father at all than a bad father."

Another tear breaks free, no stopping it. "I don't want you to cry because of me," he whispers. "Don't give me a responsibility I can't live up to. Just… if Schmidt finds me, he'll kill me. I still hope that you can get away somehow but… I don't think I'll make it out alive. You'll be okay on your own without me but… I can't bear saddling you with a baby I'll never be able to take care of."

She wants to tell him to shut up but the lump in her throat is too big and scratchy. James smiles, gently wiping away the tears on her cheek. "You don't have to say anything. I'll… I'll get you something to eat now."

When he comes back with a PBJ sandwich, she pretends to be fast asleep.

[toziers]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

[avenger-hawk]

How would you feel if the all the Sasuke fans among your circle stopped making content? (includes discussion, headcannons, fanart, fanfic etc). Its disheartening already to see the pink trash and her gremlin "new uch!ha family" thriving instead. The remaining anti ending Sasu fans active in fandom is limited at this point.

Sadly this has more or less already happened so more than a ‘what if’ it’s a real thing. What’s absurd is that a bad ending should have given a boost to ‘fix-it’ fanworks, or canon divengent ones, or any kind of rare pairing and anything different from canon, instead the opposite happened. There are no more rarepair fanworks, only canon shit or popular pairing ones. Maybe because of the pressure (=harassment) canon shippers forced on authors and artists, which made no sense cause people can do whatever they want but apparently this fandom is made of dumbasses who think that kishi cared and is even offended to see an orosasu fanart made by some random fan at the other side of the world, or any other thing lol. They sent hate to those who didn’t do canon fanworks and maybe their harassment worked. Which sucks.

Besides, a lot of people ends up getting used, then liking the new shit because they are exposed to it. Even antis. They start liking the kid because she has no fault and all that shit, then they like uncle Itachi, then dad Sasuke, then they erase S*kura from the picture and are magically ok with it. As if the kid wasn’t a result of SS. I’ll never get over this kind of reasoning so I removed myself from it completely. Ofc I can’t avoid seeing fanfics, fanarts and shit about them. Especially on pixiv the Sasuke tag is 99% ‘new family’ or gross SS porn. And the remaining 1% is gross random porn. I made a twitter account only because I was told that the good Asian artists are all there, and I did find cool stuff, Sasuke-centric stuff, mostly Nar*sasu ones, a Kakasasu one and some Itasasu. There is also dark Sasuke-centric stuff, which is cool. Too bad I don’t like how twitter works so I log in like every 3 months, check out stuff, ask permissions just in case, silence what artists retweet (so next time I’ll have to see less crap on my dash), and leave. 

Tumblr isn’t better, in fact it’s worse. Because the remaining anti ending Sasu fans are mostly wannabe social justice warriors with no critical thinking, who are just able to post crappy meme or ‘justice for sasuke’ oneliner posts with no other arguments, and tbh when they do come up with reasonings ugh, it’s real world ethics badly applied to fiction so I don’t want to get involved with it. I mean to each their own, and I guess it’s cultural, but I didn’t just block SS blogs, also Sasuke blogs playing hypocrite morality police (which is stupid also because Sasuke is the most open minded and tolerant character in the show..but ok) and SN/S or NS blogs only accepting this pairing as ‘healthy’ according to their hypocrite standards, which btw make it OOC (or SN-ish, which is the same as saying OOC lol).

It makes me kinda jealous of the Itachi/Shiita fandom because they were pretty much unfazed by the ending and they just kept doing their thing, they have a positive and open attitude towards each other, and actually their fandom is bigger than the Itasasu, or the Kakasasu one. 

(the IS one was doomed because some people in it were creeps, imposing the one true dynamic which btw for them was Sas*ita, so I can’t say I’m in the IS fandom if it’s like this. The KS fandom is dead and it’s really sad because there were so many fics and artworks, I guess canon killed it for good, but also the morality hypocrites who ‘age gap ugh wrooooooong’, same for orosasu…like. everyone knows it’s wrong but ok, thanks for telling me karen, without your bigot moralizing comment I’d have gone to hell. sorry guys I hate half of the fandom, they ruined everything almost as much as the ending imo. I admire some artists and authors and they’re the only thing that makes me stay. As well as my own stuff. Which, no need to remind me, is the slowest to be updated LOL)

On a brighter note, during this last year I saw new art blogs on tumblr, not only for Shiita but also for Itasasu, and I didn’t expect this. Maybe there is a little hope after all. Freedom in the fandom won’t exist anymore cause canon shit and morality police are too ingrained into it, but as long as some artists and authors (and I place myself in the latter category) are still going on, the free thinking anti part of the fandom still exists.

[radical-rad1986]

ESS sign-ups

Mmm... maybe sideblogs don’t show up in tag searches?? Because my key chain post does?

So the Escaflowne Secret Santa (ESS) is a gift exchange that’s going into its fifth year. If you love Escaflowne you should join! We love new blood people. Please follow the @esca-ss​ blog for information and updates!

Thanks @drkstars-art for reminding me! Omg it is almost the end of October isn’t it? :/

Yes I’mma still use this sideblog for sign-ups bc it functions. Sign-ups end 11/16, partners will go out 11/20. Please post gifts by 1/11/2020. (Cannot type ‘2019′ for that ha.)

Sign-up form is here, send your info to icm.9302014 [@] gmail.com to sign up. FAQ is here, if you can’t find the answer holla at me.

Remember that I ignore time zones; if your time zone is right then you’re good!!

Anyone who loves Esca and wants to participate is welcome!!! Reblog and tag!!

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If the blog doesn’t work, here’s the FAQ/Information and the Sign-up form:

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Don’t see your question here? Just contact Rad via any method (email: icm.9302014 [@] gmail.com). [Heeeey, that’s a different email…. Yeah I don’t mind that the internet can see it. Responses will come from my primary email.]

What is the ESS?

The Escaflowne Secret Santa (ESS for short) is a fan-created holiday gift exchange to promote friendship between those who enjoy Escaflowne and to create new works for the fandom.

Who runs the ESS?

radicalrad-1986, call her Rad, hosts the ESS exchange. So far we’ve got four! wonderful years under the belt!

Do you need help organizing/running the ESS or working the Tumblr site?

At this time, no. If help is needed there’s already a list going. If there arises a situation in the future where Rad needs help she’ll ask. Thank you!

Who can join/participate?

Anyone and everyone who loves Escaflowne! You don’t need to be a part of the location we hang at or our little usual group on Tumblr. If you love Esca then come have fun, meet new people, make stuff for the fandom! It does not matter how old you are* or how old a fan you are; come join! (* = Please be 18+/local age of consent to participate in the NSFW exchange.)

How does this work?

1) Sign up by filling out this form and emailing it to icm.9302014 [@] gmail.com.

2) Receive your recipient’s name. 3) Create! (Keep it a secret!) 4) Check in at the requested times. 5) Post! 6) Have fun!! – Each year there will be someone helping Rad give out a set of names - including hers! Please check in with Rad, not the secondary person. Generic questions about the ESS should be directed at Rad. If you receive Rad’s name and have a question about her gift please contact the secondary person OR if you directly ask Rad be sure you’re anonymous.

When are the sign-up dates / posting dates?

These dates will change as the years go by so they’re not set in stone. If Rad is on top of things (haha) sign-ups will begin early October and posting week is mid/late December or early January. For the posting week you have the entire week, you’re not late if you post on Wednesday or Saturday instead of Sunday! :)

What can I do as a gift for my recipient? What quality does it have to be? How much time should I spend on it?

Whatever you want! If you’re a writer, write! If you’re an artist, draw! If you like making animated images, animate away! Music videos, fan soundtracks, manips, whatever your talent is. Please make something for your recipient to enjoy; if they don’t like Dornkirk don’t draw or write something elaborate based on him. Quality and time spent are hard to quantify. No one expects you to spend years on it or break yourself over it. “Please spend more than five minutes and don’t gift a rush job,” goes without saying. Surely no one will give a rushed gift but so it’s been said. Don’t compare yourself to another gifter and feel bad; know that your gift will be loved by the recipient and the fandom for the care and time you put into it.

Can I gift something NSFW or state that I’m fine with receiving it?

Yes! There is a secondary swap for those who are alright with NSFW. If you’re not into NSFW no worries! Must I gift something NSFW if I’m in that group? No; if your inspiration does not lead down that road that’s alright. It’s a way for people who are comfortable in the area to give/receive NSFW while those who are uncomfortable don’t have to worry.

Can I do BOTH swaps if there are two swaps?

Sure! The point is to have fun, so why not double it?

How/where should I post my gift?

Wherever you want; Rad is primarily linking to things on AO3 due to Tumblr’s 12/2018 stupidity.

– NSFW entries that are SFW: Please comment in the post that they are SFW as Rad will tag them that way for the filtering/block systems.

– NSFW entries that are NSFW MUST be under a cut!

– Tagging: Please @-tag this blog, esca-ss. In the tags section please tag it “ESS(space)[year]”. For example, “ESS 2017.” For the NSFW please tag it “NSFW(space)ESS(space)[year]”. Example, “NSFW ESS 2017”. Rad uses the Tumblr Search function to make sure she doesn’t miss postings. If this blog, esca-ss, doesn’t reglog your post within 48 hours please contact either this blog or RadicalRad1986 and nudge me.

Where do I sign up?? How much information should I provide? May I ask for an extra personalized gift?

Please email your form toicm.9302014 [@] gmail.com.

You can provide as much information as you want! Don’t write a book but don’t submit a single sentence either. :) — An ‘extra personalized gift’ means you’d like something based on fic you’ve written or art you’ve drawn or if you really like someone’s headcanon and you want your gift based on that. A generic request is alright but not specific (example of specific: fic A, chapter 2, lines 12-54). You must also include at least three generic likes as well. [If its longfic you can point to a chapter or two because yeah we may not have time to read 500,000 words.] Etc; it is not limited to fic, art, or headcanon. —— Example: “So I’d really like art based on this fic (URL link) that I/someone else wrote.” Or “I’d love to see a story based on this art (URL link) that I/someone else drew.” Or “Xyz posted this headcanon and I’d love to see this explored.“ As well as “I enjoy the VH dynamic, Folken intrigues me, and what the heck was Dryden doing for his five years abroad I mean how did he build his merchant empire-ish thing?” — URLs MUST be included, not just links. Links disappear as things are copied/pasted.

Can/should I message my recipient before the posting date? Can I post a teaser of some sort?

If you want, certainly! Remember though, it’s a secret! Don’t let your recipient know who you are or exactly what you’re making! If you’re having fun that’s the goal! (Example: Message your recipient as anonymous or Submit/send Rad or the ESS a teaser and she’ll post it, that way the original creator is temporarily disconnected from the teaser.)

What if I can’t post my gift on time or I have to duck out due to real life?

This is alright and totally understandable. There is a week’s time in which you can post your gift so don’t feel rushed. No one will look down on you because life happened. You have to take care of yourself first. Being a little late is obviously undesirable but understandable. If you’re going to be late or sadly must duck out please let Rad know asap. There are back-up gifters in place for this reason.

Deadlines and time zones

I try very hard to ignore timezone s. I live in Michigan, USA, so when I say a date/deadline I’m referring to my time zone of Eastern Standard. However, I try to allow twenty-four hours to go by before no longer accepting sign-ups or calling deadlines. If it’s the stated date in your timezone, you’re on time. :)

You sure link to your personal blog a lot… Just sayin’.

While I have notifications turned on for the ESS blog, Tumblr conspires against me and I don’t get the notifications. Notifications usually DO work for my personal blog. Therefore you’re more likely to get a faster response if you contact my personal blog. (Blame Tumblr.)

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The form must be emailed to icm.9302014 [@] gmail.com. This form is to indicate what you want to receive as a gift; NOT what you don’t want to gift to someone else.

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1) Screenname: 2) Places on the internet with URLs**: 3) Likes: – Esca universe: – Genre/topics/etc: 4) Dislikes: – Esca universe: – Genre/topics/etc: 5) SFW, NSFW, or both? 6) Does #3 and/or #4 change in SFW vs NSFW exchange? Is something alright with you in one exchange but not alright with you in the other? 7) If needed, are you available as a back-up gifter?

**: Please copy/paste or type out the URL on the form. For example: (radicalrad-1986.tumblr.com). When Rad receives sign-ups and their information she copies and pastes them into a Word/GDrive document. Text links usually don’t/sometimes carry over and thus your locations are lost! (This is an example of a text link.)

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EXAMPLE:

1) Screenname: Rad (variations apply) 2) Places on the internet with URLs: http://www.radical-rad1986.tumblr.com https://archiveofourown.org/users/rad http://www.deviantart.com/rad1986 http://www.deviantart.com/rad-destiny-arcs http://www.fanfiction.net/~rad

3) Likes: – Esca universe: If you know me at all you know that the Series is my only focus and Eries and the Astons and Dryden are my peeps. I’d LOVE to see more Marlene/Mahad! Love the girls x their men too. ^.^ I do love the Movie and if you want to do my gift in another universe, any universe, that’s totally fine. The usual/standard is also enjoyed but it’s nice to have a larger variety. I’d love to see more of minor characters or pairings. I can be tempted with rairpares if they’re not terribly OOC. :D I would super enjoy fanart of anything I’ve written too, iffn you feel like it. Fanart of anything I’ve written would be wonderful! (My Aston girls fic is in the reworks but the gist is the same.) – Genre/topic/etc: I don’t follow really in-depth things well (like murder/mystery or politics) but pretty much anything. While clearly there won’t be any long-haul in a Christmas gift I am all for the in-depth, long journey instead of the immediate dessert. 4) Dislikes: – Esca universe: Not a fan of Dornkirk. That’s pretty much it! – Genre/topics/etc: Whump, infidelity, gore/extreme violence, unnecessary/extreme ragging on a character/topic. 5) SFW, NSFW, or both? SFW 6) Does #4 and/or #5 change in SFW vs NSFW exchange? Is something alright with you in one exchange but not alright with you in the other? I’m not a fan of Dornkirk but in a NSFW gift his thought process could be explored and while I dislike detailed violence, test subjects could be shown with minor details. 7) If needed, are you available as a back-up gifter? Yup!

[lopships]

about and byf/byi (update as of 5/28/19)

i’m bambi, 

welcome to jackass.

my full chosen name is bambi maxine amber.

im 18 years old.

that means blacklist my not safe for minors tags (nsfm and nsfm; ment) or don’t follow at all

that also means im a fuckin adult and i can post whatever the hell i want on my own blog without policing. 

im hella white.

which means all of my viewpoints are coming from a white person who has always been privileged because of that fact. i can’t speak on some shit and i own that.

my pronouns are it/its. 

im a nonbinary demigirl. that means i don’t associate with the standard gender binary, but i present as a girl and don’t mind feminine nicknames or associations. but don’t be fooled, im just as much a girl as a porcelain doll is. :)

i will not tolerate being misgendered. i don’t have any alt pronouns. if you struggle with them for any reason, im sincerely sorry, but i won’t be comfortable interacting. i hope you understand.

im bisexual and polyamorous.

in my book, bisexual and pansexual are basically interchangable terms. pansexual isn’t More Inclusive Bisexual. it doesn’t “also include nb people”. it isn’t “hearts not parts”. all of those things are rooted in transphobia. if you sincerely and stubbornly believe any of those things and refuse to talk about it respectfully? don’t bother following.

i’m in a relationship with a wonderful boy who has a wonderful system who i am dating multiple members of irl.

i am mentally ill

i have borderline personality disorder, autism, adhd, dissocative identity disorder, and post traumatic stress.

i am also hypersexual. more on that later.

before you interact

if we share an f/o, don’t do it. just don’t do it. my borderline personality disorder makes it very hard to tolerate sharing f/o’s of any kind, and it will probably give me incredible anxiety. im not gonna argue with you about this, and you aren’t owed an explanation. if you need to, send me a pm saying that we share one and you’d like me to block you/you to block me for that reason. that’s the only exception for this rule.

are you personally offended or angry at something i said? planning on reblogging a post with a very passive aggressive comment, either in the reblog itself or the tags? are you considering sending an ask? maybe a pm? do you want to vaguepost about me? know that i will be blocking you immediately, taking screenshots of your bullshit, and me and my friends will laugh at you while you pout in anger. block and move on, it’s that simple.

are you uncomfortable with d. d. l. g. or c. g. l. r. e.  interaction? don’t even look at me. go ahead and block me, in fact.

are you comfortable with transmed/truscum/maps/nomaps interacting with you? would you rather have an inclusive, “peaceful” community than a selectively exclusive but safe one? go ahead and block me.

before you follow

does any of the above apply to you? don’t follow me.

are you a minor or uncomfortable with not safe for work or not safe for minors content? don’t follow me.

are you interested in one of my f/os, and are following just to like my content of them and reblog it from op, or, heaven forbid, directly from me? don’t follow me.

do you value a quiet, inclusive space that defines inclusion with pedophiles, necrophiliacs, and actual terfs over the safety of minors and lgbt people? don’t follow me.

are you one of those annoying ass mutuals who don’t actually give a shit about original content, have never and have no intention of reading this post, and just like to reblog ask games from me without sending any? go ahead and unfollow me, if you ever get some sense in your fuckin’ head to read your mutuals links. 

other

i condone d.d. l.g. and yandere content that doesn’t non-consensually involve the public. if you don’t like that shit, you don’t have to follow. but i think victims of abuse and trauma should be able to cope with their trauma in however way they see fit without having their morals policed by people who don’t know anything about their lifestyle. any asks sent my way about this will get deleted.

i don’t condone nor excuse the actions of my f/os. i know a few of them have done entirely inexcusable things, but as a victim of trauma, csa, rape, abuse, manipulation, etc, and a fucking adult, i get to choose who i daydream about kissing. not you.

i do not ship with real people. i do not condone shipping with real people if you’re an actual adult who knows better. i have gotten way too many asks about this.

i will post suggestive and not safe for minors content on my fucking blog because im a hypersexual person and ive earned the right to. if you have an issue with it? block me and keep scrolling. 

90% of my anon hate gets deleted. 10% gets responded to if i can think of a funny joke to respond with, or i can answer a legitimate concern. 100% of it gets screenshotted and laughed at with friends.

contact

i follow and interact from @heartfulsong

my discord is #bambi7843

if you’re 18 or over, consider asking me about my private discord server for self shippers who partake in suggestive content with their F/Os

you can always pm me with anything. don’t be shy.

if you have a legitimate concern or question about my about, feel free to send it in an ask or pm.

like this post if you read. reply with your self ship url if your ss is a sideblog. <3

[pippa-frost]

Fic: Ice Cold (Part III)

Hi! Here’s the third part! This is already explained in the first part, but this is based on a post made my @ec-sanderssides and also, in the this other amazing post here! 

So i’m tagging a lot of people cause you’re all soooo nice and amazing and i love it when people tag me in fics (i LOVE fics, so seriously, if you’ve got a fic PLEASE TAG ME) and fanart so it’s only fair i do the same! (i hope you don’t mind! Please let me know if you do!)

@what-even-is-thiss @deafinatelyfangirling @fugitive-angel @corystssides @tiny-mudkip @parsnipit @romananalogicality @analogicalhell @starlight-sanders @dan-yuna @wingedchickadee @ana-logical @diplomatic-arsonist @killerfangirl3 @princeyandanxiety @pattonscardigan @pfftwhatnoimhuman @agentflash18 @ec-sanderssides @frustratedwaffle @inalandofmythandtimeofmagic @thagrinbery @prplzorua @ohmehgawdnotagain @analogically-prinxiety @beautiful-crimson @prinxietys @prinxiety-fandom @prinxiety-logicality-ss @starrykid @organizeddiscord @ts-sideblog @sanderships @toxicsanders

(I’ll keep tagging more people as soon as i can!)

Part I , Part II , Part III (you’re here)

It happens on a Tuesday. Instead of being alone in his room like he’s gradually been doing more and more since the first time he had one of his ‘cold’ episodes, he’s in the commons with the others. Normally, he wouldn’t be, but Patton’s convinced him to watch movies together on the grounds of free food and at least one of the movies to be The Black Cauldron.

Thomas is in his apartment so he lets himself feel calm enough to stay with the others for some reason. He should have known better.

At some point Thomas goes out to join Joan and Talyn and for a second he starts to get nervous about him leaving the house with all of them seeing movies instead of where their host is going. But the day is nice outside, Morality is carding his fingers through his hair behind him and there’s a calm feeling in the air that bewitches him into a false sense of security.

He really should have known better. He does know better, he is better than this, but he lets himself be drawn into this safe illusion. He never thought he could be so stupid.

Once outside, Thomas only has to walk a few blocks. They keep watching the movie. Thomas is about to cross a street. Anxiety sighs in delight, almost sleepily, as Mo stokes his hair.

And then a loud honk and breaks beings slammed.

“Oh my god!” Morality jumps as the movie stops to show Thomas’ view, Princey and Logan following suit. The three of them checking what had just happened, calming Thomas and trying but failing to keep a level head.

“Thomas? Thomas are you alright?!” he hears Patton cry.

“What just happened?!” Roman shrieks.

“He’s okay, he’s okay, it was just a car” Logan tries to appease.

“Yeah, well, it was just a car driven by some crazy man who didn’t see the red light!”

“It’s okay, Thomas, you’re fine, we’re fine, kiddo, relax”

“Oh my god” Thomas finally breathes as the man in the car gets out to approach their host.

“I’m so sorry…” the man is saying, but Anxiety can’t really hear beyond that.

“Thomas, Thomas, focus”

“I should impale that reckless man!”

“Calm down, Princey, he’s talking to Thomas now; he doesn’t look like he meant it! It was an accident”

“Yeah, well, it could have been more than just an accident! Traffic rules were made for a reason, Patton!” Anxiety can safely say he doesn’t think he’s ever heard Logan this mad and agitated. Well, except from when he had been in his room for too long that one time.

“It’s okay, they’re talking, now, Thomas is fine, it was just a big scare”

Logan sighs heavily in response before talking.

“Well, you do have a point, it was a big scare but we are currently fine, I guess”

“Yeah, actually, it could have been way worse; you’re doing a great job, Anxi-” he hears Prince start, and if Anxiety could currently move, he would have frozen. But guess what. Haha to him “Anxiety…?” he continues, and from his position sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, his body stuck in place, all he can really see are the other’s legs and feet.

Right now, his mind is reeling. The pain and the panic are the same as all the times before, but, whether it’s for better or for worse, those feelings are currently muffled by the horrific situation.

They’re here.

They’re here, and they’re seeing, and he can’t answer and they will know, they will know, they can’t know, they can’t. Why had he been so stupid? He should have never agreed to this, he should have gone to his room as soon as Thomas decided to go out; he knows better than to expect good things to happen or for things to at least stay okay, no, with him it’s always the worse possible outcome. Of course the one time he lets his ward down, this happens.

How could he be so stupid? Hasn’t he learned by now? Nothing can ever go well when he’s involved.

“Anxiety…?” he hears Morality’s tentative voice asking as he sees the oldest trait’s legs turn around  and face him, a few feet away from Princey.

“Logic…” Prince says with a hesitant voice as Patton nears him “I think something’s wrong”

“Huh?” he hears Logan question as Morality hovers in front of him for half a second before crouching down and locking their eyes. Ann can’t move his own and he knows by now that even trying to do so would cause the sting to burn even more. It’s difficult not to, however, with Dad peering at him with wide eyes and a fearful expression.

While he hates everything about this situation and wishes nothing more than for the others to disappear and forget this ever happened (which is actually a good distraction from the pain and the burning and the panic and the fear), he can’t help the burning in his eyes, way different from the freezing of his eyeballs-and isn’t that a pleasant mental image-, as all he wants is for Dad to hug him and hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay. He thinks Patton would be actually able to thaw him with one of his hugs right now he’d do anything to get one.

“K-kiddo…?” he asks him, pulling him out of his trance. Princey is now kneeling next to Patton, Logic watching with a confused yet concerned expression behind them.

“L-logan.. what’s happening?” Dad asks as he grabs Anxiety’s arm, and he decides he doesn’t want a hug anymore; because right now that single touch, even from underneath his clothes, feels like boiling lava burning his skin. He can practically hear the hissing of his skin being burnt and torn. It hurts. It really, really hurts and the shock comes so sudden and deafening that whatever composure he had been able to gain so far flies away as fast as the freezing came, making it hard to breathe “He’s freezing!!” dad cries in horror.

Yes, he is. Now please let go, it hurts.

“Virgil?” Logan asks in front of him, having pushed the others two sideways, now holding a more pale face with worried eyes “He is….He’s frozen…” he says to himself, his expression changing to one akin to fear “I-I don’t… I don’t know if he can hear us... I think it was because of the sudden scare” he says with finality. Anxiety would say he’s surprised how little it took the older side to figure it out, but then again, the is Logic.

“What do you mean?” Princey asks in what sounds like anger. Why is he angry?

“Maybe… You know… how we all… I always thought that he might have one too”

“What are you talking about?!” the Disney lover demands.

“Frozen in fear” Logan says lowly.

And Patton gives a loud sob out of the blue. It’s so sudden that Virgil can’t stop himself before flinching – trying to, really- towards the aspect, which makes a flash of agony hit his entire body and for lava to cover his eyes. The pain is enough for sound to stop and vision to darken and it just feels like his body is one big pulse. And for the longest time all there is, it’s agony.

When the black recedes, he sees that Prince and Logic are now standing slightly away while Patton sits in front of him with a hand outstretched towards him. And he almost jumps again because no, it burns, it hurts. But he’s not in pain. In any more pain, that is. So apparently he’s not being touched, but he can’t lower his eyes to see what Patton might be using his hand for. However, as he focuses on the latter, he feels like recoiling for a completely different reason.

Dad is crying. Eyes closed, head down and shoulders shaking.

But before he can start feeling like crying himself as a result – why is Dad crying? Why is he like that? Why aren’t the others comforting him? Is it because of him? What did he do? Is he worried? Is that why he is crying? No, this is why he didn’t want them to find out!

Something covers his view and for a second his heart stops and chest tightens (which, ow) before the blue thing lowers and he realizes he’s being covered by a blanket.

Then he starts being moved and it hurts, it hurts, but it doesn’t burn like before and oh, so that’s what the blanket was for. Well, Logan is a fucking genius. Although, augh, Anx is so stupid, of course Logic would know about it! He’s been freezing for years now! Of course he knows what it feels like to be touched when half frozen.

Every step hurts, like when a limb falls asleep and you force it to move. It’s like pins and needles stabbing him from the inside and his nerves being squeezed. But then he notices that his head is down against Princey’s chest and he can see his legs hanging from the other side’s right arm and he realizes that he can in fact be moved. He’d always thought that he became like a statue; Logan they could move cause it was like he froze from the inside, but he had thought he became frozen from the outside, unmovable, like a rock. Huh. What do you know.

Suddenly, he’s being lowered and there’s a tie there somewhere and he can see he’s in the bathroom inside the tub – the hell? – and he can see legs around him. Logan?

Only then does he tune them all in again.

“-what now?” Prince is asking with an angry voice. Why is he mad?

“Now, turn on the water. Cold. We gotta get him warm again”

“Why cold?” Patton whines.

“We’ve been through this, Morality! It’s the same with me; if we do it with the water even just a little warm, it’ll hurt him”

“Okay… okay” the man grumbles. Why do they all sound so angry? Why does it sound like they’re fighting or something?

“Patton, you go get some towels and dry clothes” there’s silence, then a low ‘Patton’ that Ann is sure sounds angry, which is not doing anything for Anxiety’s… well, anxiety, right now. He’d rather be suffering alone than have them around him but angry and spitting at each other.

Whenever this has happened to the others he’s usually the one who panics enough to snap at the others and start demanding and biting back for nothing. Why are they acting like him right now?

Then the water is on and it feels just this side of too hot, but god… it’s wonderful. He feels like crying just from the feeling of it.

The others are talking again, maybe; it’s just muffled to him, way too focused on the sensation of the too hot water against his body. Soon he realizes he can expand a little more his chest and he sighs. Something stills and in response his eyelids drop a little. Oh, he can blink now, even if it’s kind of hard to do.

“Anxiety?” he hears Logic ask behind him followed almost at the same time by a hopeful call from Dad.

“Kiddo??”

He blinks slowly, still afraid to try and move his eyes around.

“See if he’s aware of anything, just- yes, like that” Logan says and Patton appears right in front of him.

“Virgil..?” he asks with something that resembles fear. He hates it. He wants to talk, to answer, to tell him to stop looking so damn scared, that’s not how Morality should look.

Unable to control his breathing yet, all he does is exhale shakily, making Morality look at him expectantly, going to what Virgil thinks is to cup his face, only to flinch and stop midways before glancing over him, at the logical side probably. Anxiety just wants Mo to touch him, even if it hurts, anything to make the fear in his face go away.

Logan must feel just as bad for the oldest, because apparently he lets him go for it before asking Princey to turn the water warmer.

The hands in his cheeks burn, but not scalding-ly like before. And Morality looks a little calmer, so he guesses it could be worse.

His tongue is pasted to the roof of his mouth and he tries to move it a bit as he gets used to blinking, his eyes finally watering; and he feels the normal thawing tears falling down his cheeks. Morality starts wiping them away with his thumbs, tears of his own gathering on his face.

“Kiddo…? Can you hear me?” he sniffs “you there?”

Everything still hurts, but he manages to get his tongue to move the slightest bit and to get air moving through his lungs in more than just a mere sigh.

“..ah’d…?...”

Morality’s face breaks in a grimace, a sob makes way through his mouth, eyes closing as more tears fall, before placing their foreheads together.

The pain he’s felt is nothing compared to this; to seeing and feeling Morality like this. It’s like a shot through the heart, guilt making something ugly get caught in his throat. He wants to say sorry, he’s so sorry, this is why he didn’t want them to know, Morality already worries over all of them, Logan and Prince too, with all their different problems; and now, now he’s one more thing they have to worry about.

“It’s okay, kiddo, you’re fine, you’re okay, we’ll have you all warm and cozy in no time” Mo tells him in a broken voice, still not pulling away from him.

Blinking is getting easier and he thinks he might be able to get a few more words across, but just as more mobility comes to him, he can’t find it in himself to try right now; instead he is happy to cherish the warm embrace.

“Anxiety… are you okay?” Logan suddenly asks “Are you in pain?”

Anxiety doesn’t really want to answer that. Patton immediately pulls back to look for any signs of an answer. So Virgil does the next best thing: he closes his eyes and avoids the question.

“Ann? Kiddo?”

“Is he okay?” comes the voice of Roman.

“He’s most likely in pain” Logan answers.

Damn right he is.

“I brought the towels…” the Royal man says after a while of silence.

“Good. You can turn the water a bit hotter”

“You sure?” and he feels something hot in his hand “He’s still really cold. What if it hurts him?” is Prince touching his hand?

“Trust me, it should be fine”

“Alright”

“Anxiety, kiddo, open your eyes for me, please?” Virgil doesn’t want to. They will keep asking if he’s hurting –which he is - and he doesn’t want to tell them that. And he’s too tired and in pain to be willing to let the alarm and anxiety over them being here, let alone telling them that he’s hurting, drown him.

“Anxiety?” Prince asks.

“His eyes might be hurting. They probably are, he had them open this whole time”

“It’s okay kiddo” Patton says after a while “I know you must be scared but you’re doing great, everything’s fine, you’re doing so good” Patton encourages “Just let me see those eyes and you can rest them for a while okay”

Anxiety feels himself sigh and opens his eyes.

“There you are…” Patton smiles at him. Anxiety doesn’t wait to be questioned, instead sighing more deeply this time and letting his eyes fall close. His eyes still sting, after all.

He doesn’t know how longs it takes, he doesn’t think it’s much; the others talk lowly between them every once in a while as the water gets steadily warmer, his body steadily heavier and less stiff, and someone, probably Dad, playing with his hair.

He’s brought back to the present by being moved. A lot. He’s shivering, and it hurts, way too much for his still tense and very sore body. He opens his eyes to see Patton and Princey watching him closely.

“s-too…p” he manages to mutter. Morality’s face lights up for some reason while Prince looks confused.

“Stop what? Does something hurt?”

“S-stop.. mo-movvvin’…” he whines almost in tears. His teeth are chattering and everything aches, but different than before. He’s just so heavy and sore.

Prince’s eyes widen before his features softens in something Anxiety doesn’t know how to interpret.

“Sorry, Hot Topic” he smiles with sympathy “no one is moving you, that’s just you shivering”

Anxiety knows that. Stupid Sir-Sing-A-Lot can’t seem to catch said fact, though. But his teeth are clacking and it’s too much energy to try to talk again so he just groans in what could be considered a miserably and maybe childish manner.

But, instead of rolling his eyes, annoyed, Princey just looks at him amused and maybe with something akin to pity before ruffling his hair childishly. He’s too tired to dwell on it.

“It’s a good thing” he hears Logic say gently.

He isn’t about to dignify that with an answer. So he groans again.

“Can we get him out now, Logan? I don’t want him in the water so long and it’s already been at least an hour. Plus we can’t have you cold too”

“Hmm, alright, but Prince, you have everything ready?”

“Yes, my finest work yet if I do say so myself”

“Alright then”

Anxiety has no idea what they’re talking about but before he can ask – not that he would- Roman’s taking him from the tub, and it’s only now with the movement that the headache makes itself known. Morality wraps several towels around him after Princey sits him down on a chair. Prince goes prepare something warm to drink while Logan and Patton help him change. He would normally be mortified at the mere thought of what is currently going on, but honestly he’s too tired to care.

He starting to stop shivering and as the frantic movement recedes the exhaustion makes its way like a wave and he can’t help but start having to fight in order to keep his eyes open. He has to focus so much that he tunes the others out and he only snaps out of it when he feels himself being lifted. He’s not cold anymore. Sore, stiff, sure, and well, yes, kinda cold, but not in that awful way from before, instead it’s just a normal we-should-turn-the-heat-on-soon kinda cold.

He’s in Dad’s arms now, covered in blankets and apparently dressed in dry clothes. When did that happen anyway?

He looks up just in time for Dad to glance down at him.

“Aw, hey there, kiddo” he smiles warmly at him “someone is ready for a long nap, huh?” he laughs. Anxiety is too tired to even move one muscle on his face. He’s too tired to do anything.

Through sleepy eyes he sees Morality carrying him to one of the rooms in the commons, probably the one Logic uses sometimes; it’s the one that has all the other stuff closest for when the man has one of his cold thingies. However, his eyes have fallen closed now so he wouldn’t be able to make sure.

After that it’s just feelings really. He feels himself being lowered into something blissfully warm and he knows he sighs in delight both from the sense of it and the warm giggle that it gets out of Mo. He feels himself being covered by something and the warmth increases. Now he can truly say that he isn’t cold at all anymore. Just… exhausted. More than he ever thought possible, even more than all the other times he’s has to deal with all this alone.

Someone is carding their fingers through his hair and he feels shifting around him.

“It’s okay kiddo, we’ll figure it out later” he hears right by his ear.

He’s not really sure what exactly there is to figure out. It’s not like they can do something about this, it’ll just keep happening. So he doesn’t really know how much of a difference could be made.

But he’ll listen to Dad for once. He’ll figure what they meant later. Now? Now he’s practically asleep.