#you can barely see my face
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first tumblr post, dont mind the tags pls </3
#loser#errmm ackshuwally#i love hayley williams#midwest emo#midwest emo ruined my life#cool girl#very cool girl#riot grrrl#you can barely see my face#pretending its 2005#kathleen hanna is an icon
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the eyes of a man in love
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more windbreaker comics
#you can NOT tell me that togame isnt head over heels for sakura this man is SMITTEN!!!!#like did u see his face...DID U........ im so glad he came back to join the protection squad the way i SCREAMED !!!!#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker 148#the last few chapters of wbk really rewired my brain im gonna be spinning through these fruity fucks for a while dont mind me#togasaku#kamesaku#haruka sakura#togame jo#wind breaker#wind breaker comics#comics#thecmart#wbk#also sry ill address asks in due time!!! my headspace is still a dumpster fire im barely squeezing these lil comics out
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mmm throwaway conversation between Dan and Danny that popped into my head that I had to write out:
"You spent ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, then went back in time and fought me, and lost." Danny snarls, arms crossed and throat tight. His mouth pulls back to bare dagger-sharp teeth, and his eyes burn with the familiar thrum of ectoplasm heating up behind his eyes. "If I didn't believe you were half of Vlad before, I do now."
His other self -- and really, can he even call him that? He's half of Vlad too. Two halves severed from each other and welded together to make a new whole, -- snaps his head over to him. Wild-eyed and furious, he looks unlike the man Danny fought before, the one unruffled and untouched, unbothered by the world around him. It's familiar, but not like the way a reflection is.
"What's that supposed to mean." The Other hisses, matching Danny's scowl one-for-one with fangs much bigger and sharper than his.
But there's a reason lions fear hyenas. Danny matches the rumble in The Other's chest with one of his own, and shoves his face close to his. "I don't lose."
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp prompt#danny phantom prompt#dan phantom#dark danny#not meant for any particular au i just had the idea of danny going 'wow you can tell you're half of vlad' to dan and when questioned abt it#he says; 'if you were REALLY only me you wouldn't have lost' which is fucking BASED as hell. and also technically true#thought process for danny here was 'hates dan's fucking GUTS bc he tried to kill his family and friends without remorse and would actively#rip out his throat without a moment's notice.' some fr 'im going to beat you to death with my bare hands!' vibes rn.#not totally in character for danny but also i was thinking that it got to this point bc dan was goading danny about 'being his future self'#when that's not technically true. he's half of vlad too he just has danny's face and powers. and he pissed off danny enough that he#retaliated. just not in the way dan expected. dan was expecting a physical attack not a verbal one.#danny called him a loser in more ways than one.#also the reason danny never calls him 'dan' in this is because i was thinking that danny doesn't actually *have* a name to call him. bc he'#certainly not danny. but he's not vlad either. he's someone else entirely. so 'The Other' it is.#danny fenton is not the ghost king#<- down here because while its still MY DP post its not DPXDC so it doesnt need to be front and center for people to see it.
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Eye of the Beholder
i’m…actually happy with how this came out? YAYYY
#ok serious i spent WAY more time than i should on alex’s face#you can barely see it#i loooove drawing eyes ehehehe my favorite part#new style alert!!!#i think?#i feel like i’m using color better idk tho don’t pop my bubble#i’m gonna see if this makes a good banner for my account#anyway this is inspired by alex’s narrative that nigel was the mastermind all along#and alex was just strung along#ALSO idk if alex actually wears these sneakers with red stripes but i SPECIFICALLY head cannon him to wear these#and only these (casual wear)#like minds#nigel colbie#alex forbes#like minds 2006#art#tom sturridge#eddie redmayne#fan art#my art#murderous intent
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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like, i do love cahir when he's introduced, and we get to know him and his character, but also, if i was geralt, and i heard this from my little girl:
i would also beat this guy's ass into the ground and want to kill him so so badly. like this is ciri's nightmare but this is also a parent's worst nightmare
#in this moment it took all of geralt's strength to not just get up and walk directly to strangle this guy with his bare hands#'what did he do to me' ohhhhhhhhhh my goooooddd geralt heard kill bill sirens#but in the moment he had to be like 'shhh it's ok ciri you're safe now'#when she hugs him and buries her face you can see his face and it's just silent horror and rage#also like what actually happened wasn't even that much better but we don't talk about that (jk we should talk about it)#the elbow-high diaries#book: blood of elves#excerpt#AND THEN. IN TOWER OF THE SWALLOW. CIRI HAS BECOME THE NIGHTMARE!!! FOR SUCH A 12 Y.O. GIRL AS SHE ONCE WAS!!
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Furred Attempts at One's Self
#my art#my ocs#furry art#furry oc#AKA FURSONAS RAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH#I've been finally meaning to rip that bandage off and revist my hyena-sona and as you can see there's no time like the present!!#It's actually been a really refreshing and overall happy process so far and I'm happy to share these small bits of it hehe#This all came from the fact I'm getting into the habit of animal studies again and I felt like this would be a nice test of my knowledge#I'm still forever learning but I think I'm on the right path of capturing the face structure of a hyena and in turn other canviorous mammal#My furrysonas are also vessels to give myself bodymods I'm way to scare to get to I just keep winning hehe#Perhaps I'll look just as cool as this...so day#Also fun fact: The reason I choose a capybara as a sona is because I was a capybara in my friend's Cult of the Lamb playthrough hehe#Ever since I've been connected to the large wet rodents; and I wouldn't have it any other way#THAT AND THERE'S BARELY ANY REFERENCES FOR CAPYBARA PAWS HELP ME#I must make them accurate and yet the limits of search engines pain me#That and hyena noses are tricky to understand but I shall digress
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Blyke in Season 3.
This is my prediction. With the way Season 2 ended, I think they’ll find Blyke months later looking something like this.
Shit happens to people in prison. Terrence was murdered in his cell, Rein was worried about being killed by other inmates, hell, Blyke’s already pretty banged up in the finale and he’s been there for 2.5 seconds. Not to mention that the Authorities seem to have no problem torturing kids *COUgh* Keon.
Perhaps it’s a bit pessimistic, but the story’s been getting a lot darker lately. I doubt Blyke’s getting out of prison without a little extra trauma at least.
Latest Chapter as of Prediction: Side Story — Triple Threat (1)
#blyke unordinary#unordinary#Prediction#Drawing in my diary again#art#unordinary spoilers#normally the spoiler warning is at the top but not this time bc it’s an image post#I changed his expression so many times#I was going for that resigned kind of dead inside look#At first it looked too angry#and then it looked just like nothing#totally nuetral face#then it looked too sad#like he was gonna cry#and then I got this#many more iterations along the way#Was worried about damaging my paper the amount of times I erased his eyebrows#Tbh I think I still fucked it up#Also I spent awhile on the background and you can barely see it#could’ve just made it gray ngl#I also spent a long time on this band of light on him#like as if someone had opened a door and light shined through#but I got rid of it#Waste of my DAMN time smh#I’m rlly proud of the hair though#Shit happens in Lovun Prison#Is all of that blood his? Who knows.#also I drew all those cuts in different stages of healing be proud of me#This was supposed to be a doodle/warmup I did NOT expect it to take all day#Ngl Im really glad I turned my sketchbook sideways for this one bc the lined paper reminds me of prison bars like this
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Finally getting to making everyone’s epilogue designs. I sketched the other three but I’m not a fan of how they turned out so you just get Scary’s initial concept for now.
#if you go to my main twt you can see them#I just don’t feel like posting them here#I’m too used to drawing them as teens so I forgot to take aging into account and they barely look any older#also there’s something about scary getting a face scar in the finale I blanked on during both my listens so ill add that to the#design once I have the mental energy to relisten again#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads fanart#scary marlowe
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this year's halloween prompt was "bride of blacula" but my teeth got lost in the mail :/
they/them 🧛🏾♀️
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i made so much progress on “butchered tongue” i’m so happy AHHHHHHHHH :3 still a long way to go but i’m gonna pat myself on the back regardless <3
#i’m gonna read the posts in my writing tips tags soon bc i want this fic to have Atmosphere#and good dialogue… rn dialogue & conversations are whooping my ass#and i keep writing a bit robotically/keep saying ‘you’ do this ‘you’ say this blah blah blah#it doesn’t feel like a STORYYYYY yet which i need to do better with! AND WORK ON SHOW NOT TELL!!!!!!#but yeah :3 my goal is to finish this fic by next week ;D hopefully i can!#my masterlist is so bare so i need to fix that NFNDNDNDN… slowly but surely… slowly but surely#my goal is to have my fics in my top three posts on my blog but alas… i haven’t written SHIT so it’s none of them are on there 😭#i just miss seeing three sugu faces when i open up my blog… imma change that soon#Trust#rn i think it’s father shoko which… elite of my brain tbh… dad shoko i love you king#anyways time 2 eat pasta! YIPPEE#personal
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I got these shoes from someone recently but thought they were way too plain looking, so I set out on a quest to customize them with some sharpies and charms and miscellaneous ribbon I had in my craft drawers. Mostly sky themed (clouds, rainbows, rain, stars, etc.) because that's my favorite aesthetic, but I had to include some cat imagery as well, of course lol.
#also honestly had NO IDEA that real converse have that star logo on the INSIDE not the outer part??? why the hell would you want it on the#inner portion where nobody can see it?? my entire life I always would have sworn it was on the outer facing portion..#I think these would be perfect IF they were just slightly taller (top part higher above ankles instead of just weird hard material digging#right into your ankle whenever you walk) and if they were actual good platforms. they're so short. It's good that 'chunky' shoes are gettin#more popular as they've always been my favorite Look ever since I had these shoes with roller skates that pop out of thebottom (not heelys.#but like. before those. it was two whole entire roller skate wheels like a normal pair of roller skates) and the bottoms were so tall and#clunky and it made my feet look giant (because it had.. entire wheels in the bottom pockets lol). so#I've alwatys been into the aesthetic but . still I find a lot of the 'brands jumping on trend' are too short of platforms#OR they're plafrorms with a raised back/heel/wedge which to me is not aesthetically good and also makes them exceptionally uncomfortable to#wear compared to just plain completely flat chunky platform bottoms. ANYWAY.. if these shoes had a 3 or 4 inch platform I think they'd be#cooler. however for what they are it's still fine! and I like them more now that they actually have some sort of anything to them and#aren't just plain white. The weird thing is that the material it's made out of (maybe some sort of leather or something) absorbs sharpie?#the color changes over time. You draw a mark and then leave it for a few days and it either fades into being barely there or has changed#colors. so I had to go back in and redo parts. ALSO the shoe chains are so funny because I did NOT have the right tools for them#I don't have the stuff to make bracelets or open and close the little rings. they're held onto the shoe with just safety pins and the actua#little rung things that hold the charms on half of them are like broken or the metal is just jam smushed together bent and warped hhbjhjhb#I actually like the back a lot where there's the irridecent star thing hot glued on there. it's cool and shiny. and the clouds#are sparkly on the main parts of the shoe though I'm not sure how well it shows up in pictures#ANYWAY... shoegs..... If I were rich this is one of the things I would definitely custom order from craftsman#why would I spend like thousands of dollars on plain ass shoes that are just expensive because they're a Luxury Brand when I could literall#like pay people to create me custom shoes to my exact specifications?? I could have like 5 inch flat platform boots with fur andclouds#and cat shaped holes in the bottom with LEDs in them with pom pom and charms and etc. etc. etc. Like as gaudy and excessively over#decorated as I want lol.. AND they could have skates in the bottom somehow!! ghjgbhjb#this on top of all the custom wizard costumes and period clothing I would order.. Like i LOVE customizing things. I love everything in my l#life being as particualr as possible and cultivating every experience I have to meticulously meet my own specific criteria as much#as is possible. If I had the money to I would never buy something from a store again. EVERYTHING I owned from furniture to clothing#would be either made by me - or mostly - comissioned from craftsmen. custom tiles for my floors. custom bed. custom table.#even like. custom toilet. custom sinks. etc. etc. ouGGH... but yeah.. anyway... shoes..
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cannot stop thinking about lupa and juno's reactions to jason's death. god did juno feel it when he died? did she hear his string get cut? did she wail loud enough that all of olympus heard it? what was it like realizing the boy she loved like a son was dead? was was it like watching his father not even shed a tear? was she the one to tell lupa? and on lupa's end, how angry do you think she was? this is her pup. her youngest pup. he was so young when he first started, when juno first gave him to her? he learned how to roughhouse with her packmates. he learned to fly with her! did she snap at juno? did she scream and curse and blame juno? did she howl mournfully?
#these are his moms!!!#not very good ones but his moms nonetheless!!#when he fought krios do you think he heard their voices in his head encouraging him#'victory or death jason' lupa says in head 'die like a roman or don't die at all.' jason picks up his sword again.#krios knock his sword out of his hand and jason bares his teeth. that's okay. he doesn't nned a weapon to fight#he wrestles krios to the floor and the titan's throat is bared and it would quick and simple to rip it out but he hesitates.#normal people dont do that. his head pounds. his lady's voice exhoes in his head 'go for the kill always my champion.'#jason leans down and clamps his teeth around krios' throat and rips it out. the titans gasps pathetically underneath him#it's not enough. he can already see the wound beginning to heal so he digs his fingers into the wound and starts pulling#the neck rips quickly once he gets started and he snaps the spine as he goes. finally with one last tug the head comes clean off.#he stands up from where he's kneeling over the body and picks up the head by its hair turning around to face the legion.#there is ichor staining his mouth golden. it drips onto his armor. he lifts the head up high. the legions stares at him in shock and awe.#they look terrified he notes absently. 'VICTORY FOR ROME!' he shouts and the campers explode into loud cheering.#sorry what the fuck was that#jason grace#juno pjo#lupa pjo#hoo#hera pjo
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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A few thoughts on NJs
I'm currently in the unique position where my most frequent social contacts are an ENTJ and an ENFJ, and one thing I find is that NJs generally strongly gravitate towards each other. Coming across a fellow NJ out in the wild is exceedingly rare, so whenever that happens, there is always this strange moment of instinctual mutual recognition. Suddenly you see your own Ni reflected back at you. It makes sense that you'd want to stay close to that person.
In the following, I will just talk a bit about the observations that I've made (not very coherently, I'm sorry). Something that I find interesting is that even though our minds work very similarly (always dissecting everything, searching for patterns and meanings, making seemingly random connections in the search for the root of something etc.), NFJs and NTJs have very different priorities. The NFJ can be completely drowning in work, but that will never stop them from prioritising people over everything else. They will collect and cherish every tidbit of information that someone told them about themselves. They will sacrifice time they absolutely do not have just to be there when an acquaintance they somewhat like gives a talk about something that is in no way relevant to the NFJ. They will be able to recognise all their co-workers by the sound of their steps alone. All of this is precious information. The NTJs, on the other hand, will not even bother to learn your name unless they have taken an interest in you in any way. NTJs will be polite to you, that's no issue, but if they don't care, almost everything you tell them will be deleted from their brains. They prioritise the abstract over everything else. If they are busy thinking about, I don't know, quantum physics, you are welcome to discuss it with them and they will be delighted. If you and the conversation are interesting enough, they will also figure out how your mind works in the meantime. But this is a step you have to unlock with an NTJ first. The NFJs will do this automatically. Funnily enough, I find that NTJs become more openly annoyed by you the more they have grown fond of you. If you are being annoying and they don't care about you, depending on the situation, they will either simply leave or put you in your place. If you are being annoying and they do care, you end up with amazing conversations like this:
INFJ: "I needed help with that work thing, so I asked a friend, but it didn't really go as planned and so I ended up with even more work to fix the thing afterwards." ENTJ: "Well, why didn't you ask ME for my help? I can help you better with this than your friend can." INFJ: "I didn't know I could ask you." ENTJ: "What do you mean you didn't know? Of course you can! Sometimes you are just ... Can you do it over?" INFJ: "Why? I've already done the thing now." ENTJ: "Can't you just throw it away and do it again, but with my help this time? I could help you with it right now." INFJ: "What for? Like I said, it's all done." ENTJ: "Just ask me next time."
Because once an NTJ cares, they care. They want to watch you live a good life, but then they witness you making your own life difficult just by being the way you are, and it will be frustrating because it's not something they can just fix. They will be nosy, they will observe and analyse everything about you (just like an NFJ in default mode but the NTJs are more normal about it). But if they don't care, you end up with actual conversations like this:
ESFP: "I'm going to leave work early today to go to that concert later tonight." ENTJ: "Oh really? What concert?" ESFP: "What do you mean 'what concert'? I literally told you that like an hour ago." ENTJ: "Did you? Sorry, my brain must have registered our conversation as useless information and immediately deleted it."
This is absolutely not something that you will ever hear an NFJ say to someone. If they don't like you, they will just never seek out a conversation with you, but if put into a situation where they have to interact with you, they will remain polite, quiet and a bit awkward (but then again, I have yet to meet an NFJ that isn't a bit awkward in general). Something that I've noticed between ENFJs and INFJs is that we are very similar, but we externalise our Fe a bit differently. I will have the impulse to do a particular Fe-driven thing and then stop myself from doing it because I think it might come across as slightly pathetic. ENFJ just does it. An example: when someone I like (or even only feel neutral towards) tells me a story about something that happened recently and hands me their phone to show me a photo, I get the impulse to look at every photo related to this story because I want to know everything about this person and their experiences, just soak it all up and gather all the information. But then I take a step back and think this might come across as too intrusive, so I do nothing and just listen and look at what is presented to me. In that same situation, ENFJ will straight up ask to see every single picture, zoom in on every face and ask questions about all the people in the pictures and so many other things with genuine curiosity. Meanwhile, I express my Fe more by pulling faces as a reaction to everything that is said to me in order to make a connection with people (think of Jim Halpert looking at the camera in The Office. That's me.). ENFJs, however, are more blank in the face and generally the least emotive of all the FJs. You tell them a funny story and they will just ... stare at you. Their reactions and feelings remain hidden beneath the surface. I never really understood why so many people have told me all my life that I'm completely unreadable. Until I met ENFJ. I know what they mean now. There is a disconnect between the NFJ and other people. They collect all the information about everyone and figure them out in silence, but every non-verbal communication from them seems slightly calculated. Like they are in hiding. It's like there is a window between you and the NFJ. You can see them and interact with them, but you can't quite reach them. There's something invisible between you and it's keeping you separate. I get it now. Many have tried to read me, but only one seems to have cracked the code: ENTJ. Generally, NTJs do show the typical Ni detachment from the world, but their mental and emotional states are not hidden. You always know how they are feeling.
#sorry for my usual lack of coherence it will not get better#but yes i really can distinguish all my co-workers by the sound of their steps#when i'm sitting in my office and hear a door opening at the end of the corridor i really do immediately know who it is#fun fact: entj's and enfj's steps sound very similar. if you hear a door opening but the steps are so quiet they're barely audible it's ent#if you hear a door and the rustling of a jacket but no steps at all it's enfj#entj always finds it freaky that i'm already waving at him before he's standing in the doorway to my office cause i KNOW it's him#meanwhile he answers questions i did not ask yet because he could see the question on my face as he says (as if that isn't freaky hello?)#entj#enfj#intj#infj#ni#high ni
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havent been very active here T_T. the last 3 are photo studies
#ensemble stars#enstars#my art#tomoya mashiro#chiaki morisawa#fanart#kaoru hakaze#? you can barely see his face but uhuuyuy
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