#you can actually buy the electronic version I think?
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some vintage Riding Sport Magazine covers
[link to each issue: x x x x x x , if you click on the cover you can browse the issue in low rez]
#motogp#motorcycles#riding sport#god I love 90’s typography there’s so much stuff going on on the page#literally just randomly found this magazine while searching for some other thing and thought I’d share#you can actually buy the electronic version I think?
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Its just. a truck. a shit ass truck, that sucks shit more than any other trucks on the road rn, which is impressive considering how bad modern trucks are. definitely not a sedan. not a van, its not a hatchback, its not an suv. It's got a bed for sure, even if its covered, they sell ? pickups with covered beds, or covers to put over the bed of a pickup you already own, to protect the bed. these exist. they dont turn the truck into a sedan or a van or an suv. Its just a extraordinarily shitty truck. It is a truck that sucks worse than any other truck you can buy rn which, as a truck hater, and a hater of cars made after like, 20teens at the latest, who thinks all trucks are disgusting and awful, is already a low bar. I'm not sure I get what we're doing here. Its just a truck that sucks. theres plenty of shit about it to make fun of it for relentlessly, theres no shortage of material here, you dont need to disparage the good name of any other these other vehicles, especially not a sedan, our last bastion left in usamerica against the ever encroaching light truck category taking over completely, since compacts and sub-compacts arent really available here anymore, not new models anyway.
Its a bad shitty truck, that is designed to live exclusively in the mildest, dryest, of climates with no weather at all, with a dedicated garage, and never do anything more strenuous than transport groceries for a single generic cishet nuclear family with 2.5 kids.
wait a sec. the cybertruck aint even a truck. it aint even a van, there's only the two rows of seating. mf's a sedan with angles
#reblog#cybertruck#i think? 2019? might be the latest year of vehicle you can buy here that counts as a sub compact without importing a foreign car#im sure they sell 'compact' sedans but like as a subcompact driver that shit is way too huge and i despise it all the more as a bad#replacement for what ive got#anyway. its a useless truck. which. a lot of modern trucks are? but its like. Extra Useless. it cant even be a car.#the groceries might be too much for it. cos it was seemingly designed with like. anti safety features and cheap shit ass parts like the#the accelerator pedal that gets stuck?#also i say 20teens at the latest cos my car is a 2015. but it was a very basic cheap version. it doesnt have a touchscreen or backup camera#it doesnt beep at me about backing up or changing lanes it doesnt stop on its own. its like a fancy car from the 2000s. it has bluetooth#that i dont use and everytime i hit the button by accident i immediately tell it cancel. the most modern things it has are the#volume buttons on the steering wheel in addition to the radio which i do like. and the digital speedometer which i do like as a#dyscalculiac bitch. even the driver side seat adjustments are like. analog. as opposed to the slow moving electronic adjustments in my#parents cars. even the old ones. i even still have beloved yellow headlights. and i dont. knownif i have auto headlights? if i do.#i have that off. i know that i would probably despise most cars from the 20teens tho cos thats when they started having all the Bullshit#put in. but an early 20teens fiat 500 is decent in how much tech shit its lacking. anyway. the cybertruck is a truck and it sucks at it but#its still a truck. a truck meant to be a garage queen that you take out on a nice day and is too precious to car wash#except apparently thats for actual warranty reasons and not just cos they wont take care of your baby adequately. at that point they#shouldve just made it a convertible. at least lean in to the fact you cant drive it in the rain dumbfuck. make it a convertible like a jeep#lmao. no they couldnt. all convertibles will leak eventually (not if but When) and they cant even keep water out of the frame apparently?#id love to see what a harsh winter does to it. im excited to watch them rot in a single season from a single drive on the plowed and salted#road. itll be cathartic for what new england is doing to my poor little baby car with no garage privileges and a shit ass car wash#and me being a neglectful parent to my Worst Pet (the car) and not callin to schedule a lanolin undercoating to protect it from rust :(#my car may be shit but at least its not a tesla. good god#i do have a car that gets stored in the winter but i think even the geo convertible would handle the new england winter better than a#cybertruck. i mean. i would never do that to grandpas car but still. it would handle it better. /I/ wouldnt but thats cos navigating#traffic at all any amount deals extra mega psychic damage in a stick shift. i can drive a stick shift no problem if literally no one else#is driving. it even has One(1) airbag#(its from. the 90s)#anyway. i despise regular trucks. and this has rocketed to being. One Of The Worst Trucks.
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I love your work so much imagine ben Drowned in hasbin hotel.
Them crawling out of the TV and alistor is like I don't like tv but can you mess with vox😭.
SURE!! LOL! 🦆💗If anyone wants to do a creepypasta! Reader, I will make it a fanon version cause that’s most easier since I’ve always seen the fanon side of creepypasta when I was into the fandom💗
HAZBIN HOTEL X BEN DROWNED! READER
prompt: after jumping into a tv to hide from being stabbed by Jeff…you accidentally went into a show called HAZBIN HOTEL……
Your dumbass didn’t even check what was on tv…it was just left on as you are now falling to a city in a shape of a…..pentagram?
Welll shit…you are in a hell cartoon…
Meanwhile with Jeff: “where the fuck is that short tacked bitch…” he said holding his knife tightly as his eyes glanced at the tv. “That bastard!”
MEANWHILE WITH YOU: You pointed to a service pole and started to surge through the electrical wire into some random old tv box. You pressed your hand through the tv screen and came out of it. As you came out of it a gasp was heard to see a bunch of characters…..oh boy…
After basically getting chased around the hotel and interrogated…they let you stay by Charlie’s words as she was excited to have another member to her crew at last. 
Few weeks later, they have gotten use to you. I mean Alastor still keeps an eye on you as you play games and go through electronics around the place.
Angel thinks it’s funny for you to hack Valentino’s page to make his bio say “I have a small dick.”
Vaggie makes you go out on errands until she can find you a decent duty at least. But she appreciates how you help around a lot.
Husk thinks your pretty annoying because of your gen z & gen alpha humor. I headcannon ben and you to basically be a media specialist to learn the lingo around and to understand the generation.
“Hey husk…” “hey kid…” “you’re so not alpha male…” “…the fuck?” “Sooo not slay.” “Get the fuck out my face.” *cue you doing a gremlin ass laugh*
I can see Velvette making fun of you for wearing the link fit😭 she would be confused as if you were a stinky cosplayer kid-
“GOOD HELL?! What are you wearing dear..” the female vee says as you look down to your link outfit. “What’s wrong with it? I think I look ✨f a b u l o u s✨” you said with sass
“You look horrendous. THAT’S what you look like.” Velvette says. You rolled your eyes as she snapped her fingers giving you black converses, tan brown pants, and a green hoodie. She had let you keep your link hat as you actually liked how you looked.
Maybe when you get back to slender’s mansion you can spend his card to buy an outfit like this.
I imagine Charlie or niffty trying to wipe off the blood tears of your eyes thinking you were crying as you stand there like “what is going on-🤨” most definitely the face look like this “:T”
Angel dust brought you a gaming set from a thrift shop as you smiled happily at this and started to play….only to find out it had knock off versions of the games in the human world….impta?! (GTA) PENTACRAFT?! (Minecraft) hellmon?? (Pokémon)
You immediately thrown the gaming set outside and decided to go hack Vox’s system for fun again.
I can imagine reader sending random “if you don’t like this, Lucifer is coming for you.” posts to random sinner to fuck with them.
I can DEFINITELY see Alastor asking you to go mess with Vox’s tech even if he doesn’t like those picture boxes. “Ben/Reader, my fine fellow..I got a favor to ask of you.” After he asked you to go mess with this dude named Vox. You smiled as you transported into your own tv and go to the vee tower.
You hacked into Vox’s system as he spit his coffee out to see “nya cat” on all his computers and devices as you snicker seeing Vox’s face trying to fix it. You laughed showing yourself as your bloody tears roll down your face because of laughing. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Vox asked angrily
“IM YOU! BUT BETTER! GET HACKED LOSER!” You said before disappearing from his system as Vox claws his desk in anger.
Alastor had a good chuckle when you told him what you did. “I never liked this picture boxes…but you my friend, are true entertainment.” After this your relationship with Alastor grew as he would pay you handsomely with snacks as you go and piss Vox off on any other day.
Valentino and Vox hate your guys to the point they want to kill you while Velvette is just chill with you as she helps you with your outfits and aesthetics.
I imagine since Ben drowned also looks like link, you have long hair like link but sometimes cut it down to bit length to not trip on it.
You give off that “new worker at McDonald’s” vibes as you would just play around instead of helping the residents😭
“Can I have keycard?” “….how about no?”
I imagine you just tapping on and off a lamp post boredly as Valentino keeps going towards it and away from. “On….off…on…off…” you liked to mess with people
You had tapped on sir Pentious’s device once and it exploded…yeah you were pretty much banned from his room and lab. But it was worth it.
You definitely wrestle with husk as husk will just try to claw out your eyes only him to just get pepper sprayed by you.
“AGG MY FUCKIN' EYES!!” “I didn’t know this shit would work on demons..”
Lucifer was definitely intrigued with your appearance as you seemed like a human. But also had a demonic appearance. So he questioned you and you just kept saying “SWAG!” He got tired of it and demanded you as the ruler of hell.
It didn’t work as you just shrug with a “:D” face and transported into a wire. Lucifer was bamboozled as he just stood there like “what just happened”
You showed niffty how to beat any person during a game as you, yourself is a hacker and can beat any game personally.
You looked at the phone that you stole from that flat faced dude as you smirked having an idea as you transported into the phone to try and go find Jeff. And lucky you did as he was sitting on the couch watching wrestling.
“Heyyy buddy.” You said looking through the tv to see Jeff. He scoffed seeing that his favorite program was ruined by your face. Jeff turned off the tv. Your face was like a pikachu shocked face. “THAT BITC-”
#hazbin hotel#creepypasta#creepy pasta x malereader#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x hazbin hotel#crossover#ben drowned#Ben drowned! reader#Ben drowned x reader#hazbin hotel x Ben drown! reader#hazbin hotel x platonic!reader#hazbin hotel headcanons#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x male reader#hazbin vaggie#hazbin husk#hazbin charlie#hazbin lucifer#hazbin angel dust#hazbin alastor#hazbin x you#hazbin hotel x creepypasta! reader#hazbin hotel x creepypasta
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Just Dance Care AU!
Ok ok so I thought of a story for this Au but it’s nothing really impactful or full of drama and angst like my other au’s, I wanted to leave this au easy and fun to play around, because, let’s say it. Just Dance and drama in the same sentence makes me laugh.
story and PNG version under the cut!
(I gave up on Y/n design because I couldn't figure out a general look for them. This is you we are talking about! Draw your own JD fit, I'll draw mine soon XD)
Anyway here’s the story so far:
Year 2029, videogames industry made a huge step forward and classic consoles and devices were substituted by the new and upgraded VR headsets with full body tracking. It’s something like the NerveGear in Sword Art Online without the kill switch. Some games still require you to actually move your body (like fitness games or sports because yeah, they don’t have a purpose otherwise).
Y/n wanted to buy the newest VR headset but, while searching for the best offer, they found out FazCo entertainment was hosting a giveaway, the prize? One of their prototypes, a VR meant to be released the next year coinciding with the opening of their first mega pizza plex.
(so the plex doesn’t exist right now). You decide to sign up for the giveaway and after a while you receive an email telling you you won the VR headset and that, to claim it, you need to read and sign a series of NDA policies (understandable, it’s a prototype headset that’s not even in commerce). Some clauses are a little bit concerning but nothing you hadn’t read on other electronics booklets, so you decide to sign. After, like, a day, you have the VR in your hands.
The box let you know with super saturated and colorful writing, that the VR came with a game pre-installed inside. Uh, that’s why they were giving one away, they wanted a free game tester…but you know what, it’s worth it.
You always liked Just Dance games, they make you think about happy memories of your childhood. This pre-installed game called “Five Dances at Freddy’s” is a close copy of your childhood game with original FazCo songs, characters, environments and also some collaborations with other famous artists. It probably will be the cause of a big copyright infringement report.
There are various ways to play it: story mode, Casual dance, Five Dances, and Just Dance Care.
The first one is similar to the casual dance mode but with little cutscenes between a dance and another to tell a tale, Casual dance is how you can play the collab songs, Five Dances is the multiplayer mode and Just Dance Care is a more uhhhh “hard” way to play the game with all the other modes mixed in it. You stare at the description of the last mode smirking and decide to try it first just to see how far you can get before losing (yes you can lose in hard mode in this Just Dance, but you don’t die, you just have to restart from the beginning). Turns out the FazCo wasn’t kidding when they advertised the new headset as a breakthrough in the world of virtual reality headsets, the thing TRANSPORTED you inside the game itself.
You almost have a heart attack when you can’t find your VR on your head, but before you can try something you are blocked by two tall individuals who you think are the “tutorial” characters.
Yadda yadda, tutorial, you can pause the game and exit whenever you need just by opening an hidden menu, you find out your tutorial characters are called Sun and Moon and that you are way worse than you remembered at dancing (damn full body tracking, there is no way you are going to do a cartwheel in the middle of a dance, you still don’t know if your body is inside your home and if you’ll physically feel pain if you fall and you don’t want to find out).
You pass an embarrassingly long time trying to win your first dance battle just to discover it was still the tutorial.
You try to go on with the story but you fail at the first real battle with a bear character named Freddy.
And guess what? You have to start again from the tutorial! Y/n is gonna spend A LOT of time with Sun and Moon if this goes on.
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While we're all talking about not buying the newest electronics because of the apparatus of death and slavery that produces them, it might be worth considering getting comfortable with Linux for those who haven't thought about it before. I learned to use Linux (Ubuntu) in an act of desperation many years ago to extend the life of a computer I couldn't afford to replace but I ended up favoring it so much that any time I get a device with Windows on it I purge it immediately. I don't buy computers, I just use others' busted, obsolete hand-me-downs and I make them faster and more reliable than the brand new thing they paid retail to replace it with. And I don't even know what I'm doing, I have been a completely casual user this entire time, because it really doesn't require you to know very much anymore. It isn't hardcore nerd shit with a huge barrier to entry like it may have been once, and in my (admittedly limited) experience of using recent Windows it's harder to force that into compliance than to troubleshoot Linux.
Almost any distro (version) that you'd want to try is free. I've mostly seen Linux Mint recommended to newcomers which I think is a good choice. I have Debian on my (at least 12-year-old if not older) desktop right now. https://distrowatch.com/ is a site that tracks and reviews distros but if you get analysis paralysis Mint is a safe bet. There really is no risk (though, do back up your stuff before messing with your computer, but you should be doing that anyway) and as long as you already have a thumb drive there's no cost. You don't even have to actually install it, you can run it off a USB stick and leave your hard drive intact if you want. You can install it alongside your current operating system and pick which one you want to boot at startup. I'm not a gamer and I don't know anything about streaming but I know there are people who do that stuff on Linux distros. This isn't remotely a solution to resource extraction, forced labor, and planned obsolescence but it's an easy, free way to have more control over how you make use of electronics.
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A New Cool
“West End Girls" (1985) Pet Shop Boys Parlophone Records (Written by Tennant/Lowe) Highest U.S. Billboard Chart Position – No. 1
There are two lines of thinking concerning the debut pop single for the seminal electronic pop band Pet Shop Boys; one, that the song is atypical of all of the hits they would ultimately create (and are still creating over 30 years later), and the other is that this is their signature song. I am of two minds, that it is at once very them, and conversely not them at all; in some ways their first hit was a makeover of the band, whether by design, or not. It is undeniable that in 1986 it was enormously successful, an evocative ear worm, and that the single introduced the strangely beautiful tenor voice of singer Neil Tennant, and ushered in one of the greatest pop duos ever.
Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe met in a hi-if shop in London on Kings Road in Chelsea in 1981, and discovering a mutual love of electronic music, formed a band. Tennant was at that time an assistant editor at Smash Hits magazine, and Chris a college student studying architecture. Immediately, they began writing songs together in Neil’s bedsitter apartment (which I believe translates as a studio in the US). They signed with American producer Bobby O (who oversaw rather crude Miami-tinged 80s dance music) in 1984/85; together with him they produced for the first time many of the songs that would appear on their debut Please, and the follow-up LP, Actually. “West End Girls” was released in 1985 as a 12” disco version that was much cruder and sparer; it was a minor hit in Europe and a “Screamer of the Week” on the influential 80s radio station WLIR in Long Island, New York (who's djs had a nose for new wave talent). Nevertheless, it sank, and they spent the next year extricating themselves from Bobby O and signing with EMI, relinquishing to him some of the future royalties on many of the soon-to-be famous songs they had already written, including “West End Girls”, “Opportunities”, and “It’s A Sin” (all of which were re-recorded and eventually went top ten in the United States). It would seem that the Imperial phase for any great band must always begin with a lawsuit.
“West End Girls” was re-released by the band in late 1985 in a much different version produced by Stephen Hague, and it immediately conquered the world, selling 1.5 million copies. Where the Bobby O version squawked and squealed and sounded dated even then, this new track slithered on to the airwaves with a newer, more insinuating quality. Rather than a club banger, this was now a highly suggestive track, with droning, floating synths, every effect modulated downward into an expression of cool detachment. It was an important single not only in introducing this idea of bored aloofness from the duo, but also by permanently stamping them with the image. No matter how hard they would try in the future to produce bombast (say, on “It’s a Sin”, a truly bezerk pop hit) they would be forever labeled as sardonic, stand-offish, bored, or sarcastic. These are words that really translated into one idea for me: that they were actually gay, and smart, and therefore happy to play along with any narrative the public chose for them as long as people continued to buy their records. The song’s lyrics, written by former history major Tennant, apparently reference Eliot’s “The Waste Land”, which sounds hilariously high-toned, but for the then 19 year old that first experienced it, it was clearly a coded story of gay boys clubbing on the wrong side of town, because the gay bar is inevitably on the wrong side of town, and that perhaps West End Girls is a clever wink at describing gay men crossing over. On top of all of these suggestions was a very fey British man successfully talk-rapping lyrics (a rap I can to this day successfully recite), telling a story with no obvious conclusion, because, well, you know. It is a coded song about a coded world. And while the Pets didn’t invent the electronic pop song, like couturiers they certainly tailored it to the measure of some very strict gay signifiers, and when I fell in love with the hit (and the band) I was already acquainted with those ideas and understood them instantly. Of course, I did not experience the duo as detached; instead, they were stylistically and artistically brilliant, and their songs were clever, propulsive, and unique.
Please as an album can be examined as a cohesive slice of queer nightlife in the 1980s: escaping to the city (“Two Divided by Zero”, “Suburbia”), sneering at society (“Opportunities”), fighting oppression (“Violence”, “I Want a Lover”), and, finally, reconciling to life and love, whatever that might mean (“Later Tonight”, “Love Comes Quickly”, “Why Don’t We Live Together?”). I am sure “West End Girls” does reference “The Waste Land”, but somehow, just perhaps, Neil, the master of collage, is actually speaking more allusively to the mating habits of the male homosexual circa 1985. Chris Lowe, for his part, made absolute certain that the songs would be played were they belonged, which was in the club, his complete obsession in every way; the electronic sounds he produced are essential to the texture of what Pet Shop Boys ended up doing better than anyone else, which was to document gay lives by dropping clues and signals to fantastic disco music while leaving out the specifics. And this is possibly why the original Bobby O version was so awfully wrong, and not really them: the duo must have discovered that they didn’t need to bang bang bang, that they could be better than that. In fact, they actually didn’t need Bobby O at all; they could conjure up these subtle and delicious scenes all by themselves.
Sadly, Bobby O still got the money. Kind of just like a Pet Shop Boys song, isn’t it?
A little cynical, but true.
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*The title of Please, which I always found entertaining, I imagined was a reference to gay men chastising one another with "Oh, Please", or "Girl, Please." This has never been substantiated. Instead, Neil was quoted as saying it was a little joke, so when a customer asked for it, they would be forced to say I would like Pet Shop Boys, Please. Hmmm. Regardless, this would still qualify as a double entendre.
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Dropping a hairpin (verb, gay, archaic slang term): to reveal one's sexual preferences by dropping broad hints; thus keep your hairpins up, and maintaining a 'normal' mask.
Who, who wants a cocktail? (“Opportunities (Reprise)”)
Someone spread a rumor. Let’s run away. (“Two Divided By Zero”)
In every city, in every nation, from Lake Geneva to the Finland Station. (“West End Girls”)
You may not always love me I may not care But intuition tells me, baby There's something we could share If we dare, why don't we? (“Why Don’t We Live Together?”)
And you wait 'til later, ‘til later tonight. 'Cause tonight always comes. (“Later Tonight”)
Neil Comes Out
In the early 1990s, Jimmy Somerville, formerly of the very out, gay 80s band Bronski Beat, accused Neil and Chris of Pets Shop Boys of exploiting gay culture for career purposes, and of not putting anything back.
Neil came out officially in 1994, and commenting in print on the matter, said that he resented anyone telling anyone how out they should be, or just what constituted a “contribution” to gay culture:
“I do think that we have contributed, through our music and also through our videos and the general way we’ve presented things, rather a lot to what you might call ‘gay culture’. I could spend several pages discussing the notion of ‘gay culture’, but for the sake of argument, I would just say that we have contributed a lot. And the simple reason for this is that I have written songs from my own point of view…”
He pauses again. “What I’m actually saying is, I am gay, and I have written songs from that point of view. So, I mean, I’m being surprisingly honest with you here, but those are the facts of the matter.”
Having finally got all that off his chest, Neil Tennant pours himself a glass of mineral water and takes his sweatshirt off. He is looking distinctly pink around the gills. Maybe it’s the effect of suddenly admitting that for all these years he has been singing nothing but the truth. Or maybe it’s just the unbearable heat in here. “Well,” he says, in a voice which carries a distinct [air of]‘moving swiftly on’, “what’s your next question?”
Source: Neil Tennant in Attitude Magazine, 1994
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--Turning Corners--
Description: You're working at an electronics store and you're not having the best day. But an interesting encounter might just change that. Javier Gutierrez x named Female Reader.
Rating: Teen Warnings: Meet cute, reader has some serious issues with her name, some swearing, mostly fluff. Word Count: 2775 Author’s Masterlist
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Whatever had possessed your parents to name you Samson, like the biblical character with the magic hair and all that, will forever be a source of anger to you. Especially since they’d had the audacity to die when you were just thirteen years old, leaving you unable to question them directly, and feeling ineffably guilty about even considering changing your name, even now, twenty years after their demise.
Having to explain to every single person you have even the briefest encounter with, that “no, it’s not short for Samantha, actually” has become such a massive irritation to you that you’ve stopped explaining it. You give them that phrase and then nothing more, leaving them to try and guess, which no one has yet to succeed at. It’s the only amusement you know how to derive from the disaster of a circumstance.
You work in an electronics store, meaning you have to wear a nametag, which is probably why the subject comes up more often than one might think. Your customers certainly seem to think that each of them is the only one to ever bring it up. And today is no different. Little old ladies, while cute, are the worst customers you encounter.
“No, ma’am, this blender is a basic level one and doesn’t have those features, I’m afraid,” you explain when she points to the one that she wants to buy, asking if it has an ice-crushing function.
“But I need that for my smoothies,” she persists, so you direct her to the cheapest one of the products that does have that feature, because you’re sensing that this is gonna be a money issue.
“That’s twice the price of this one!” she exclaims, proving you right.
“Yes, ma’am. The machine needs more stability and a better engine in order to work hard enough to break ice, without overheating.”
“How preposterous. A hammer can do it without a problem, and those costs almost nothing these days,” she huffs, and you refrain from telling her that, unfortunately, a hammer won’t fit inside such a small machine.
“I’m afraid that’s just how it works, ma’am.”
“Well, then I’m not buying,” she says, acting all offended, as if it’s somehow your fault that you can’t magically produce a cheaper version. “And I must say that I’m very disappointed, Samantha.”
She says it like a grandmother admonishing a family member. They all do, and that’s exactly why you hate the little old ladies. And because you’re fed up with it, your response ends up being extremely rude.
“Actually, my name is Samson, and although I know all about magical hair, I still can’t make money appear out of thin air, and I sure as hell don’t have any say in how a single item in this store is priced. So, don’t make it personal, ma’am. I’ll happily direct to our manager’s office if you wish to make a complaint, but don’t try to punish me for something that I am not responsible for.”
She stares at you in utter disbelief, both during and after your little tantrum, so you walk away, leaving her standing in the aisle with her mouth hanging open. If this gets you fired, you couldn’t care less. This job is soul-draining and you’re already looking for other opportunities.
But later in the day, you still haven’t gotten any reprimands or notifications, so you assume that she was simply too stunned to complain, and you decide to try and just shrug it off. Still, the confrontation has left you feeling hurt, for some reason, so while you wander around the store in the afternoon, supposedly available for customers to ask questions, you’re actively trying to avoid everyone you see.
That is, until someone nearly runs you over.
You’ve just turned a corner, coming out of the vacuum-cleaner aisle, when a tall man rushes past you so quickly and frantically that he shoves you backwards without even trying to. Just from the force of his movements. He realizes his mistake, however, and somehow manages to reach out and catch your hand, just as you’re about to fall backwards.
“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, please forgive me, Señorita,” he babbles while he steadies you, placing both his hands on your upper arms once he’s stopped you from tipping over backwards.
You’re not the least bit angry with him, though. This sort of thing happens now and then, when people are rushed, looking in all directions instead of where they’re actually going, and the only time that it vexes you, is when they just keep going as though nothing’s happened.
“No worries, sir. I’m fine,” you assure him, just as your eyes meet his, and suddenly you’re locked in place in between his warm palms on your arms.
He’s absolutely gorgeous.
Hispanic and deeply tanned, with golden brown curls framing his chocolate eyes, wearing a white singlet underneath a pale green short-sleeved shirt which is hanging completely open, with crème colored linen shorts on the bottom. You half expect to find him wearing flip-flops on his feet, but he’s actually wearing really nice sneakers that match the color of his shirt.
“Are you sure?” he asks, sounding more desperate than you’d expect from someone merely inquiring about a stranger’s wellbeing.
“Is there something I can help you with, sir? You seem… rushed,” you try, not sure if he’s in a hurry, scared, or perhaps just lost in the maze of aisles.
“Oh, you work here!” he blurts out after finally clocking your nametag. “Yes, yes, I need to find a dinosaur!”
For a moment, your mind goes blank with that, because this is an electronics store, not an archeological museum. Do you even have anything that relates to dinosaurs? He sees your befuddled expression and starts hurriedly trying to explain.
“Is a toy, but not really a toy. More like… a little robot! It sings and changes color and… Fuck! I am not explaining this right…” he rattles off, and then takes a breath to re-center himself.
He lets go of your arms to put his hands together in front of his chest, probably in an effort to help him focus, despite his stress.
“It sits on a wall and helps children go to sleep,” he explains, and you finally get it.
“Oh! Yes, I know exactly what you’re looking for, follow me,” you declare, happy to be able to help him, since he’s clearly out of his depth.
You could simply show him which direction he needs to go and which signs to look for, but you honestly don’t trust this guy to find his own keys right now, much less get to the other end of the store without getting lost. It has nothing at all to do with getting to be in the presence of his sparkling eyes, enchanting scent, or extremely huggable chest.
“Thank you, Señorita. Thank you so much! I am sorry for cursing, it’s not how I usually treat people,” he scolds himself while he falls in beside you.
“Don’t worry about it, sir. You’re far from my worst customer today,” you reply honestly, remembering the rude old lady.
“Javi,” he says then, and you settle for just giving him a polite smile instead of answering, because he’s already seen your nametag and you’re not in the mood to get into the whole name situation again.
“So, Javi, why the rush? I assume you have an unhappy baby at home?”
“Ay… yes. I was helping to clean up his room and I knocked the thing off the wall, and it broke, and now the baby won’t sleep, and his mother is angry with me,” he answers, and he sounds really sad about it.
“She’s angry with you about something that small? That seems harsh,” you observe, hoping he isn’t in a bad relationship, because he appears to be such a sweet guy.
“My sister is under a lot of pressure, it takes very little to anger her right now,” he clarifies, and you have to keep yourself from grinning widely, because that means that there’s a chance that he’s single.
“Oh, I see. Well, you’re sweet for trying to help her,” you say softly, hoping that your tone will help him feel better, and it does make him smile, albeit shyly.
“What else is family for?” he poses the question, but into the ether, not to you specifically.
“No kids of your own, then?” you prod, hoping he won’t think that you’re being nosy, which you totally are.
“Not yet,” he answers, still sounding very shy, so you decide to drop the subject since it clearly makes him uncomfortable.
But then he surprises you.
“What about you? Any children, or spouse, or just special someone?”
It’s an innocent enough question, but there’s something in his tone that makes you feel like he’s flirting. You might be imagining it simply because you wish that he is, though. And you’re glad to hear that he isn’t automatically assuming that you’re straight, using gender neutral terms instead of the usual crop. It makes you wonder if that’s because he isn’t straight either, or if he’s just that considerate.
“No, on all counts. I don’t really have the motivation to date right now, and most guys I’ve been out with in the past few years have been… well… unable to handle my personality, I suppose,” you offer, letting him know where your preferences lie, just in case you’re not imagining his interest.
“Why? Is there something particularly difficult about your personality?” he asks, and you sigh, because you don’t actually enjoy talking about this and you suddenly wish that you hadn’t mentioned it.
“I don’t think so, but apparently guys do. I expect to be respected and appreciated, and when I feel like I’m not, I speak up about it, and apparently that’s enough to label me difficult,” you gripe, but more sadly than angrily.
You’ve reached your destination then, and point him to the correct shelf, which seems to surprise him.
“Oh… Yes, this is what I need!” he says, and then darts off to collect the dino of the color he needs, before coming right back to you. “Thank you, but I will need help to find my way back to the checkout, I think.”
Raising your eyebrows at him, you silently turn to the left and point to the giant sign that indicates that he’s only two aisles away from the registers. It does seem like he genuinely hadn’t noticed that. His gaze drops to his own feet, and he scrapes the floor with the toe of his right shoe, looking adorably sheepish.
“Busted…” he comments under his breath, followed by something in Spanish that you don’t catch, but by the tone it sounds like he’s calling himself out on his idiocy.
You can’t help but giggle at him. He’s so disarmingly cute and generally fumbled.
“I won’t hold it against you,” you smile, meeting his eyes when he looks up again, and there’s newfound confidence in his frame when he sees that you’re not about to reproach him.
“If I ask you for your number, is there any chance I might get it?” he asks, and he’s back to sounding shy now, which somehow only makes him cuter.
“Only if I get yours too,” you playfully respond, earning you a grin so wide that it makes his entire body shine.
“Is no more than fair,” he shrugs casually, even though that grin remains unchanged.
“There you are! What do you think you’re doing, Samson? You were supposed to swap over to the registers twenty minutes ago,” your supervisor suddenly appears from one of the aisles behind you, making you jump.
Glancing at your watch, you realize that she’s right. In your eagerness to help out the interesting stranger, you’ve completely forgotten to relieve Annie from the checkout.
“Ay, I must apologize, miss,” Javi immediately answers her before you can get a word in. “I got lost here, in my hurry, and I have not allowed this lovely woman to leave my side until I found what I was looking for. I am so very sorry.”
Taken aback by his apologetic and kind demeanor, she quickly sheds her irritation with you.
“Alright, well… just make sure you don’t dawdle,” she admonishes, and you start heading for the registers at once, since that’s where Javi’s going anyway.
“Thank you,” you whisper to him once she’s out of earshot.
“Hey, you practically saved my life today, it was the least I could do,” he hums in return, and his deep voice makes your temperature rise just a fraction.
But he’s only quiet for a couple of seconds following that, and then it comes.
“So, your name is Samson? Like the biblical dude?”
You wanna scream at the ceiling, even throwing your head back and rolling your eyes in a needlessly dramatic fashion, but you keep the sound from escaping you.
“Sam. It’s just Sam. There’s no story, nothing funny, no cute anecdote, my parents were cruel morons, that’s all,” you growl, and he seems quite startled by your abrupt switch in mood.
“Forgive me, I did not realize this was a sore subject,” he immediately backtracks, making you feel bad, because it’s obviously not his fault that this is the single most annoying thing of your entire existence.
But before you’ve had a chance to voice your regret, he continues.
“I only wanted to tell you that I think it’s a beautiful name for you,” he says quietly, as if he’s trying to let you know that he’ll stop talking the moment you even hint that you want him to. “It suits your strong personality. And it is much more unique and interesting than Samantha. I really like it.”
Not one person that you’ve ever met, throughout your time on this earth, has ever heard your name without laughing, making fun of it, or telling you how much they don’t like it or how badly it sounds as a woman’s name. And that’s regardless of whether they’d had a chance to get to know you before learning about it, or not.
Which is why, hearing Javi react like this makes you want to cry.
“Thank you for saying that,” you reply, barely audibly as you’re struggling against the lump that’s settled deep within your chest.
Instead of answering, he starts to sing loudly, and it’s bad enough that it causes laughter to break out of the overwhelming multitude of emotions that are trying to strangle you, effectively pushing them aside until the joy just completely chases them away.
“See?” he grins at the return of your smile. “We all have that one thing we don’t like about ourselves. But that does not mean that we should let it stop us from having fun.”
You could kiss him for reminding you of that. Or just for being such a wonderful person in general.
Getting to the checkout, you apologize to Annie, who’s actually a really sweet young girl, and kind enough not to be angry with you. You take over her station and since there aren’t any other customers in line at the moment, you set about charging your new friend for the baby sleep-helper.
“That’ll be 29,99$, sir,” you chirp, and he pays with a blank card, which only adds to your interest in him, because you’ve hardly ever seen those kinds of cards before. “Would you like a receipt?”
“Yes, thank you,” he smiles, and when you hand him the little strip of paper, he picks up a pen from your workstation and writes something on it, before handing it back to you.
As promised, it’s his number. And since there are still no other customers waiting behind him, you pull out your phone from your pocket and dial it. Sure enough, a ringing starts in one of the pockets of his shorts, and his smile widens.
“Can I call you tonight then, Sam?”
“I should hope so. I mean, you just missed my call, I’d be offended if you didn’t at least call me back.”
He laughs softly at that, and then he reaches for your hand. When you let him take it, he merely holds it at first, as though it’s some exquisitely rare gift, and then he bends down and kisses it over the knuckles, looking up at you as he does. You can’t tell if it’s a gesture of respect, or a taste of what intimacy with him would be like, but either way, it makes every inch of your skin tingle.
“Until next time, Señorita.”
THE END
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Thank you for reading and helping me celebrate! I wish you a wonderful day <3
Tagging a few people who I think might wanna read these stories: @startrekkingaroundasgard @deadhumourist @tintinn16 @suttonspuds @tanzthompson @shsoba05 @f0rever15elf @justnat15 @lowlights @dornish-queen @radiowallet @spishsstuff @harriedandharassed @i-love-movies @tiffanypooh @chaoticfestninja @insomniamamma @pedrostories
#sirowsky's birthday celebration#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal character fanfiction#javi gutierrez x fem!reader#javi gutierrez fluff#tuwomt fanfic
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When you switched from spotify to an ipod, what was that process like for you? How do you find new music nowadays and how do you add it to your ipod (if I recall correctly, itunes isn't supported anymore)?
so i actually have a collection of music from back when classic ipods were still in production, so that helps. however, that's clearly older music!
for new stuff -- i enjoy hunting down cds in thrift stores. there's also sites like depop where folks sell off cds they don't want anymore, tho i haven't purchased any from there myself. but the thrift method was how i used to get my music -- occasionally i'd hit a great sale at a department store or best buy, but usually i'd see what would turn up on the shelves at goodwill. or rip cds from my parents and friends.
i still do utilize spotify to keep track of new releases, but i also just try to follow my fav artists directly on their preferred platforms to keep an eye out for announcements. and tbh tiktok is weirdly great for discovering indie artists who don't have a label promoting them. (or even those that do!)
also, i have an absolutely amazing local radio station that plays everything -- and of course focuses on local music as well. most of my life this has been the best way for me to discover music i like that i never knew existed.
as for itunes -- apple still has the download on their website! i think i just searched it on bing/google and it was among the first couple of results. i have version 12.11.3.17. if for some reason you can't find the link on apple's website directly, im sure mirrors of the installer exist.
however, if you get a modded ipod, odds are you'll need to use something like rockbox to load music -- i dont believe itunes works with SSD. mine is not modded. i think it's only 30 gig too, tho i have my friend's old one SOMEWHERE and it's 80 gig so i hope i find it before my collection exceeds 30 gigs lol
if you're up for it, i did most of my research on reviving my ipod usage on reddit. they've got great resources and most of the questions i had were already answered. if you don't have one already, or need parts to revive it, or want to purchase a modded one made for you, i recommend Elite Obsolete Electronics. quality work with the best prices around imo (at least in the continental US). you can also check out ebay, esp if you want one of the cute lil nano 3s that are also seeing a popularity resurgence.
and if you're wild, theres always 🏴☠ lmao but i can't give any advice on that, sorry. im too anxious to break laws
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No. 38 - SriLankan Airlines (Air Lanka)
Thank you to anon for requesting SriLankan Airlines! This was a lot more interesting of an airline to talk about than I expected.
To begin with, take a look at that logo. I love that. The stylized bird looks fantastic and the typeface really matches it well. This is good.
But I will talk more about the logo in a bit. Let's talk about the planes they fly.
A gay plane has...taken off?
And in the process reflect on planes of years past.
An old plane has also taken off.
SriLankan Airlines, which was known as Air Lanka from its establishment in 1979 until 1998, is the second flag carrier of Sri Lanka. It was launched after the demise of former flag carrier Air Ceylon as a fully government-owned company. Though it was briefly partially privatised, it is now re-nationalised. There are apparently plans to potentially re-privatise it, but we will see. They're very recently announced and tentative.
Based on the wording of anon's ask, I get the sense they want me to specifically talk about Air Lanka, and to be totally honest I think I would be doing the airline a huge disservice if I didn't.
I can't read Sinhalese or Tamil, which impacts my ability to really fully understand the apparently quite eventful history of the airline. There are a few op-eds in English written for Sri Lankan publications, but as I'm not the intended audience I would need to research a lot of context before I could really understand much of it. It's a shame, because I am now curious about this.
Thankfully images transcend language, so I can understand how its livery has developed over time. Well, 'developed' is sort of a strong word. They had one livery, and then they had another. They really don't like to switch up their liveries every ten years how many airlines do, and I actually really respect that. Don't get rid of something good if you don't need to.
But was it good?
I never really thought about the landing gear on the L-1011. It feels like it's located so far back. Is it similar to the Trident's sideways gear to leave space for its massive electronics bay that it used to autoland? Also, that's not that many wheels for a plane that big.
This livery looks sort of standard for something invented in 1979, but it has hidden depths. Even just in terms of its broader design I prefer it to a lot of 70s cheatline liveries. The way it loops down to envelop the tail is nice and the smaller line outlining the main block of color feels almost anachronistic in the sense that it's quite a modern choice. Somehow the two lines on the nose make it look distinctly beaklike, which I think is neat. The wordmark is...acceptable, though unfortunately it seems to only be in English. They primarily used TriStars, which is quite discerning of them. But what's that thing on the tail?
I like the modern logo but I prefer this one far and away. It's really pleasing to look at and looks graceful despite its sharpness. Just very nicely designed. I think, if a good modern designer was given this logo, they could design a truly fantastic livery incorporating it.
Actually, although it undeniably looks like a peacock, it's got a bit less immediately visible of a meaning. Aviation is actually a pretty big part of Sri Lankan folklore, and according to the airline itself that peacock is actually the Dandu Monara, a flying machine flown by the legendary king of Sri Lanka Ravana in the Sinhalese version of the Ramayana. This is incredibly cool. Apparently, flying machines in a broader sense are a common feature of Sri Lankan folklore, and they are generally described as being wooden peacocks. I'm genuinely quite sad that I can't find very much about this in English, except for this article by an American researcher, so if anyone knows of any books in English on the subject please let me know.
It's a very elegant execution of the concept. It's easy to buy this blocky, geometric peacock as a machine, without it losing the ability to be recognized as a bird.
The red, meanwhile, is taken from the Sri Lankan flag. I would honestly love to see a livery for this airline that's on a base of yellow with these gorgeous secondary blue-green, orange, and the absolutely stunning burgundy shade used on the largest square. I think it's very unfortunate that Air Lanka chose a redder shade, because I think the warm hues of the flag are both uncommon in combination and very, very harmonious with each other. Normally I would find four distinct colors a bit busy for a livery trying to be on the simpler side, but with the yellow as a base, the burgundy making up most of the design, and the other two colors used for accent something truly great could be created.
The red they chose, while a more conventional pick that I feel is a bit of a let-down relative to what they could have done, is still a very nice vivid red. The logo is well-positioned on the tailfin, the entire design looks clean, and especially for the time this was thoughtfully designed and well executed.
I'm giving Air Lanka (1979-1998) a C+.
That grade, though, is for the livery. If I were just talking about the logo by itself, this would be one of my favorites I've covered so far.
And then in 1998 something happened.
Remember Air Lanka? This is them now. Feel old yet?
Just kidding. They only owned 40% of Air Lanka. In 1998 Air Lanka was partially privatised and Emirates purchased a minority state. One of the first things they did was completely rebrand the airline.
Well, it's certainly more modern. It is...very very white, and it looks...very much like the Emirates livery. Different colors for the text, different literal logo, but otherwise much is the same. The placement of the text, of the logos on the engines, and of the design on the tail - a sort of swoop from the tip of the fin to the fuselage body.
I think I prefer the old logo. While the new one does incorporate the rest of the flag, which I like, it distinctly feels alive. It feels like a bird. Normally I would like that, but given the inspiration of a wooden flying machine it feels a bit harder to recognize. The original logo was just...really really fantastic.
That said, the way it looks like the peacock is climbing up the tail, and the way it flows onto the main body, is nice.
I'm not sure how I feel about the blue underbelly on some of their planes. I mean, I'm kind of a fan of just telling everyone on the ground to visit Sri Lanka, but the blue feels very strange. If it were up to me I would have just done something which occupied more of the plane for a primary design, so it didn't feel like the wings and tail have a wholly different color scheme from the wordmark and underbelly, but that's how it feels.
It also feels...distinctly Emirates-y in a way I don't like. I actually think Emirates's execution of this particular concept is uninspiring but acceptable, but I just don't like the amount of resemblance here. It isn't exactly Continental and Copa, but it's far from KLM and Air France either.
These planes are mostly all white. Whether or not that's jarring or not really depends on the angle, and I think more often than not it looks okay. Nothing here bothers me, but I feel disappointed. Maybe my visions for how fantastic a livery based on the Sri Lankan flag and the Dandu Monara emblem could be were a bit unrealistic, with how airlines are, but it's a shame to see traces of Emirates in an airline that hasn't even associated with Emirates for over a decade now (it was renationalised in 2008). This is not fantastic, but this is not bad. It is not Lufthansesque, and if I saw this in 1998 I think I would actually be slightly nicer to it. But it's also mostly white, doesn't do anything spectacular, and passes up so much unique potential which could have made it one of my favorites.
I'm giving SriLankan Airlines a C.
I did debate taking that down to a C-, but I ultimately don't even think I can say I dislike this. I just wish it was more. I hope, whatever its future is, somebody commits to making SriLankan Airlines the legendary flying machine it has always had the potential to be.
#tarmac fashion week#grade: c#grade: c+#era: 1980s#era: 1990s#era: 2000s#era: 2010s#era: 2020s#region: south asia#region: sri lanka#srilankan airlines#air lanka#flag carriers#double sunrise#requests#retired liveries
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Reading Dungeons and Dragons Player's Handbook
I haven't played Dungeons and Dragons in 28 years. Recently, I've been invited to play again. I have thoughts about the handbook. What's it like reading the Dungeons and Dragons player's handbook? Some sections are written like an instruction manual written by engineers who assume the reader has a certain level of background knowledge. It's difficult to read. From the perspective of a community college English instructor who taught students to write research papers, this the same problem as reading texts that are unfamiliar and written in a style that is specific to an academic discipline or industry that outsiders find difficult to comprehend. Students often struggle with reading journal articles and give up reading. They misunderstand the content, misrepresent the authors' ideas, and use information incorrectly or out of context. I wonder if this is the same for players and Dungeon Masters.
In the way the D&D handbooks are written, sometimes the rules and spells don't make sense to me. I think this is because the game is decades old and the manuals have been revised so many times by different people that they have lost perspective on making the rules clear to outsiders and newbies. Is it intentional? I don't know. (I suspect that might be a form of gatekeeping.) I do understand that some rules and spells are written vaguely so Dungeon Masters can apply their own interpretation during gameplay. This allows the game to be modified to the group's needs and preferences.
In my opinion, unclear rules are the result of word economy and trying write as concisely as possible. Book publishing is expensive for the parent company (Wizards of the Coast) and the cost of books for the gamers. If books are pricey, people won't buy them. However, in trying to reduce costs by using fewer words, context is lost in the effort to avoid wordiness. The player's handbook is free on the D&D Beyond website, along with information from other manuals. The handbooks could be improved by adding context and clear explanations. They need to use more words for us dummies.
When I get confused reading the D&D rules multiple times, I feel that old math anxiety take control of my brain. I can't think clearly and get frustrated. I feel stupid. It's like my brain is Teflon coated, and the words slide off. Then my brain shuts down. It feels like there's a wet towel or heavy blanket over my head. (Actually, that's a physical sensation of anxiety and depression.)
Thank goodness for the internet. I can research the rules. This information wasn't readily available online 30 years ago when I started gaming in college. Today, the message boards on D&D Beyond and fan-run webpages often are no better than the handbook. People write responses and regurgitate the rules in the exact same wording for confused gamers who ask questions.
However, some websites write articles explaining the rules more clearly, giving definitions and context, and providing examples of using the rules during gameplay. YouTube has many D&D video creators who explain the rules and demonstrate gameplay. I'm grateful to those writers and video creators who understand what their audience needs. Sometimes I save reader friendly versions of webpages as PDFs. Later I print them out and take notes in my own words. (Yes. I still print articles. My brain processes text better in print rather than electronic text.) Those are my thoughts about the D&D handbook.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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Valentino Rossi’s bikes from 1997 to 2009
from Riding Sport Magazine’s Special 2021 Valentino Edition
#valentino rossi#motogp#vr46#yamaha#motorcycles#honda#yeah these are not hd bc the site obviously only shows previews for free but it still looks nice#link in source#I think you can actually buy the electronic version of the magazine and some other issues? which I’m obviously not gonna do but#riding sport
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THIS CHARMING MAN
Dave Ball in Zigzag magazine, March 1984 issue - full article text bellow
Following our interview with Marc Almond in ZZ 3 we complete the set with Dave Ball. Paul Barney asked the questions, Linda Rowell* took the photographs.
Okay, you made me do it. I’ve turned it off. I’m talking about the new Soft Cell 12″ ‘Down In The Subway’. I want to flip it over but instead I shall leave the beefy brilliance of their version of Johnny Thunder’s ‘Born To Lose’ (hear it, buy it, you owe it to yourselves!) and tell you about an afternoon I spent in the company of Dave Ball in the living room of his London flat. Ushering me inside Dave smiles and proffers tea. It’s a small room, Dave’s keyboards standing majestically in the intimacy. My heart passes on secret information to my bladder and I have to make the first of my visits to the bathroom [DAMMIT] just when I wanted to be cool and collected.
Dave plays me the new and final Soft Cell album ‘Last Night In Sodom’ and it’s a breathtaking affair. Lots of drums, Marc’s voice reaching and winding its way down my back. ‘Meet Murder My Angel’ featuring Dave’s wife Gini Hewes on the most gorgeous backing vocals. ‘L'esqualita’ is seductive, inspired by New York club for transvestites where they mime to Spanish songs dressed obviously to suit such activity and another standout track is ‘The Best Way To Kill’. A relentless beat. (The title comes from a Sun headline where they asked their readers which method of capital punishment they preferred!) A lot faster than most of the previous album. It was recorded and mixed in five weeks at Britannia Row.
I love it madly but how do you feel? DAVE: “Of all the three Soft Cell albums, it's the one we're most satisfied with because we've been totally involved with it and had total control from start to finish. Rather than working with outside producer ... the ideas come purer.”
Weren't you happy with Mike Thorne's production then? DAVE: “I think we were at the time but he was more into making a name as a star producer. That's fair enough but not if you're a band and depending on someone else to help you get the sound you want. He was more into commercial safety if you like.”
How did you get that sound on ‘Numbers’? (To convey this I am forced to make a noise like a sick penguin, embarrassing!) DAVE: “I used a bass guitar going through an envelope generator. It's like a filter off a synthesiser. It's jus an effect pedal. I'll show you one. (Showing me the device.) Quite simple really. It's just a different context to hearing those sort of things.”
To digest these technical facts calls for a cigarette. Dave suggests a can of beer and whilst he is in the kitchen I'm off to the toilet again. The interview resumes.
Are you a shy person? DAVE: “I'm not shy like now but I am when in front of a lot of people. Marc's got something that really holds people's attention. He's more of a showman. I'm not interested in being a performer. I've never concentrated on it. I never needed to. I always relied on Marc.”
Were you unhappy with ‘In Strict Tempo’? DAVE: “I probably said something like I wasn't totally satisfied with it. It's not really meant to be thought as an album in that sense of being a collection of songs ... It wasn't released with intention of being a chart album. The ideas for new Soft Cell album were initially ideas I got from doing ‘In Strict Tempo’. It was testing ground. People try to read too much ... Like the track ‘Rednecks’. People actually thought I was being serious. The funnest thing is that people from America see the joke but English people don't seem to see it's a total pisstake of that area of America and the country music and the bigotry.”
A lot of tongue in cheek, isn't it? DAVE: “Of course ... Yeah, like on that tribal number, the voices on that are speak and spell.”
I thought it was you (why did I have to say that?) DAVE: “I think maybe I disguised the fact that it was a synthesiser and electronic too well. I just thought the idea of using one of them for a tribal chant was quite amusing!”
Did you get emotional doing the last Soft Cell gig at the Palais? DAVE: “No, I was more emotional doing the video for ‘Soul Inside’. Y'know tearing up the posters. That was the first point when it sunk in, ‘this is coming to an end’, but I don't feel upset about it because we're happy with what we're leaving behind.”
What is this film you've done the soundtrack for? DAVE: “It's called Decoder, a German film. I think they've completed it now. It's going to be shown at the German film festival and I think they'll dub it over in English so it will probably be shown at a few cinemas over here. Maybe just the ICA or bigger cinemas. It's also going to be released on video.” “The film is about muzac, the sort that's used in supermarkets and hamburger joints. Some of the music is by Neubauten, in fact Mufti is the star of the film and William Bouroughs and Christiane F are in it as well. Gen (Genesis P) makes a cameo appearance as an underground preacher. It's quite interesting. Mufti discovers a way of making anti-muzac so instead of pacifying people like muzac does, ot antogonises them and causes riots. I suppose it's very heavy and bleak, very German.”
Future plans? DAVE: “I'm writing a couple of things for Psychic TV to return the compliment for Gen appearing on my album and I'm supposed to be writing some material for Cristina (of Ze records). Do you know her?”
Sort of. DAVE: “I had a meeting with her and Michael Zikha in America late last year. Anybody who asks me if I'm interested in writing or contributing, if it sounds interesting, I do it. “I still want to have a main thing you could call it a group, but ot might end up as a just a couple of people and myself, but again it'll be different from Soft Cell.”
Are you still going to work with Alan Vega? DAVE: “I don't know about that anymore. We talked about it a year and a half ago and nothing happened. His attitude that came over in Zigzag ... I didn't like the way he made me feel guilty as if I owed him a favour. The only similarities between Soft Cell and Suicide was the fact that there were two people, one of them singing and the other playing a keyboard and they used a drum machine. But because we said in an early interview we really liked Suicide, people think they were a direct influence and we were trying to copy them but there's nothing similar at all. I wouldn't want to work with him because he feels I owe him something.”
Is there much unreleased stuff that might see the light in the wake of Soft Cell? DAVE: “There are loads of songs we did when we first started, but we'd never release those, they were just backroom demos. “I think everything we've recorded after this album comes out and the single will have been released. That's one reason why the album is a bit longer than normal. It's because we wanted to make sure everything came out. I hate the idea of leaving stuff unreleased because you never know a year later you might be doing something else and somebody decides to release something you didn't want out then ...”
... and you don't want out now. DAVE: “It's like what they're doing with John Lennon. He's an amazing bloke, still doing albums and he's dead. Pretty good that! “I find it sick. It would be alright if it was just released to make it available to the fans but they're not ... it's tasteless.”
We are both chainsmoking. I catch a glimpse of Sooty flickering away in silence on a small black and white telly in the corner. Dave plays me a really jazzy instrumental continuation of Soul Inside. It's wonderfully chaotic but since you're unlikely to ever hear it on with the interview.
Will you do anymore singing? DAVE: “You call that singing?”
Yeah. DAVE: “Possibly doing backing vocals.”
Don't you have any confidence in yourself as a singer? DAVE: “No, it's bad enough if I'm in the studio. I get embarrassed and nervous if it's just me and the microphone with an audience it would just be a joke.”
These questions must be really boring, maybe I should ask your favourite color. DAVE: (laughs) “It's blue.”
Have you got a strange sense of humour? DAVE: “I like black comedy ... Friday the 13th and stuff. I sit back and laugh at them, always the same plot. They know there's an axe murderer wandering around and the first thing they do is split up and go searching around the woods.”
Have you seen ‘The Thing’? DAVE: “I didn't find that funny. That made me feel quite sick.”
What time do you get up? DAVE: “Sometimes I get really lazy and don't get up 'till two in the afternoon and then I have phases of getting up early. I suppose on average between ten and twelve.”
Do you believe in witches? DAVE: “Yes, I believe in witchcraft, I'm quite interested in that. I've read books. I'm not a practising magician or anything ... Music is a form of magic.”
Are there any causes you feel sympathetic towards like CND? DAVE: “I'm sympathetic to the idea of nuclear disarmament and everything but I wouldn't go out and campaign. If everyone in the country said we don't want nuclear weapons it wouldn't make a scrap of difference because the government doesn't represent the people and big business are behind them. Money is more important to them than people.”
Do you have any phobias? DAVE: “Sometimes walking down Oxford Street if there are lots of people I get paranoid ... I don't like flying ...”
Do you mind if I use the bathroom again? DAVE: “No.”
— * Linda Rowell is actually Mick Mercer, main editor of the magazine at the time as well
#Soft Cell#Dave Ball#David Ball#Marc Almond#Gini Ball#Mick Mercer#Genesis P-Orridge#Alan Vega#solo#In Strict Tempo#This Last Night In Sodom#Decoder#1980s#1984#interview#magazine#Soul Inside#photo#text#nostache
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Time for the third entry for my 2023 media reviews!
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (GCN) (replay)
I didn't want to write too much but this ended up becoming a wall of text anyways LMFAO
Starting off with my history of this game. I actually first stumbled upon it in 2009 while browsing an online video game shop. I loved fantasy books at the time and Twilight Princess looked like something up my alley, and become one of the reasons I wanted to get a Wii, which never happened. However, I did finally get to play the game in 2012, but instead of the Wii version, I played the GameCube one, which I did eventually end up buying along with with the GameCube and some other games.
At the time, Twilight Princess became one of my favourite video games, although I distinctly remember not feeling it as much once I reached the second half and for all those years I wasn't sure why. I also wasn't too happy with the lack of control over the day cycle, but it was more of a minor nitpick.
My recent Skyward Sword playthrough gave me the itch to replay Twilight Princess, so I decided to pull out the GameCube, now with a dead CMOS battery, to replay it. And boy, that title screen is haunting. Definitely one of my fav video game title screens of all time. (Also, I only realized recently, after over a decade, that the beginning notes of the title theme are taken from the title theme of the original The Legend of Zelda on the NES, it's just a lower key.)
I dreaded going through the beginning of the game but it was nowhere nearly as bad as I had remembered, even though I didn't 100% remember how to clear everything at the beginning.
The twilight sections, albeit somewhat half baked along with wolf Link gameplay, are amazing for the atmosphere alone, but I also love the contrast against Hyrule. The dark pixel things floating up towards the sky and the more electronic music are just great as well as the entire Twilight motif and patterns.
Also I didn't realize how refined the human Link gameplay is in this game, it's really solid.
As soon as I unlocked the ability to transform into a wolf whenever I wanted I actually found the game more fun as it really opens up once you hit that point. I think the reason I didn't feel the second half so much when I first played the game was bc the Twilight sections by that point are gone, and you don't really get that same kind of atmosphere until Palace of Twilight near the end of the game, which is 100% one of my favourite dungeons in the game, and just the entire franchise. The atmosphere, the music, the tension in trying to avoid Zant's hand... it's so good.
And while I do think the wolf Link gameplay is a little bit half baked, I think it's implemented kinda well. I never found myself annoyed by some sections where I had to use the wolf form like in Arbiter's Grounds, Snowpeak, and the beginning of Temple of Time. In all those cases I think the wolf form usage was justified. However, I do think it's shoehorned in City in the Sky where you have to transform into a wolf... to cross gaps... on thin strings, which Link can only do as a wolf. Like come on.
Hyrule Field in this game is often panned for being too big but... I actually like it, although I do have to say, I don't like traversing the Eldin part of it. It has never spoken to me, although Eldin bridge is really cool and iconic, but yeah that specific part of Hyrule Field. Not a fan.
Temple of Time is hands down my favourite dungeon in this game, and absolutely one of my favourite dungeons in the franchise. I love the atmosphere, the music, the gimmick, and the interesting take on what is otherwise a very linear dungeon. I loved this dungeon back when I first played this game and I still love it to this date. The boss is a bit of a letdown however due to how easy it is, but it doesn't sour the overall experience for me too much. I don't mind the goofy bit of it.
I loved Midna on my first playthrough but I think I love her even more now, and on this replay I noticed so many subtleties in her character that went past me years ago. I absolutely adore this character.
By the way... I forgot how goofy this game is. It's dark and edgy, but when it isn't... jesus. This game is REALLY goofy when it wants to be. The first miniboss is a monkey with huge ass cheeks which... you spank. Truly a video game of all time.
Alright so is anything I dislike about this game? A few things actually. As I mentioned already, I find the wolf Link gameplay a little bit half baked. I also have other complaints but most of them are mainly nitpicks, though some are bigger than others. I think one of my biggest complaints for this game is that the developers went a little bit too far to make this game "realistic". Link's climbing speed for one, is egregiously slow. Why are you pursuing realism like this in a game where a guy who isn't mega ripped can very easily grab a running goat and flip it over like it's nothing? Who also transforms into a wolf when exposed to dark magic bc he's the chosen one of the gods and when he finally goes back to his human form for the first time after the wolf transformation he's suddenly wearing a green garb? That's not very realistic, is it?
Link's movement in both forms, while smooth, is a little bit weird at times. It's hard to explain but when you turn him to an opposite direction from where he's facing, he sometimes moves alongside an arc while turning, displacing him. This is particularly annoying if you're standing on a ledge or a small space, and especially so when you're wolf form as he takes up more vertical space than horizontal. The lack of control over the time of the day, and lack of any actual musical instrument for that matter, is also a little bit baffling to me. This game is so similar to Ocarina of Time already, just give Link an instrument!
Horseback combat in this game is... not good, but considering it was the series' first attempt, I can't be too hard on it, especially since I've heard it's significantly improved in Breath of the Wild.
Lakebed Temple isn't terrible but there's a slew of smaller things that contributed to my frustration with the overall dungeon, especially with Link automatically diving into an arc into the water when I just wanted to swim on the surface when wearing the Zora armor. I guess I could just put him in green tunic every time, but I don't want to relive that moment from OoT when I had to open the menu just to equip the iron boots. I also kept wandering back and forth, but that's more on me than anything else. I didn't realize until watching a video that the doors in the central room are color coded. I had no idea about this for over a decade.
Something really interesting I noticed was that this games throws rupees at you. A LOT. So much to the point that your wallet is guaranteed to be full at all times. And if you're playing the GameCube or Wii version of the game? If your wallet is full or nearly full, any rupee you get from a chest is returned to the chest, and it's still displayed on the map so if you have a goldfish memory like me, lol. I'm actually not surprised the game gives you not one, but two NPCs asking for donations, as well as the magic armor. The magic armor at least allows for fun things in the meta, especially when you go down into Cave of Ordeals. This also really contextualizes some game design elements in Skyward Sword, with it giving you material drops and the upgrade system.
As for the graphics? I think the game still looks okay, some scenes still look beautiful while others... aged like milk. It's especially evident in the Wii U version of the game, being higher resolution and whatnot, but I played the GameCube version on an actual GameCube, using analog AV cables (my GameCube is a launch model which also has digital AV out, which nowadays is used for third party upscalers), plugged into a 48 inch flatscreen. While I played the PAL version, I opted for the 60Hz display mode, which produces a little bit of flicker on edges, at least on flatscreens (I've never played this game on a CRT). The resulting blurriness hides a lot of some issues that would be glaring when the game is upscaled, whether it be on emulators or in the Wii U version. I've seen lots of people say that the game looks really ugly nowadays, I don't exactly agree with them as I think some things look amazing, especially considering how low poly some of the models are (no, really, look up model rips and view them in Blender, your mind will be blown) but some things do need a makeover. I'd actually love to see a version of Twilight Princess that uses actual PBR materials, even if it's just a mockup made in Unreal Engine or whatever. And no, not like one of those "I PUT MARIO INTO A REALISTIC FIELD", but a take that sticks to the original art direction but uses more modern lighting engines combined with PBR textures etc.
Overall, Twilight Princess is a game that still holds up all these years later despite a few aspects aging like milk. I actually think it's the most refined pre-BotW 3D Zelda. Skyward Sword, while a fun game which builds on some foundations of Twilight Princess, unfortunately has some really low lows that drag the whole experience down. Twilight Princess has some lows as well, but they're nowhere nearly as low as Skyward Sword's.
I really don't mind that this game is just another take on Ocarina of Time but grander. It's actually the reason I love it.
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DEAR SANTA
Yes, it's been a long year. A lot of things happened… stuff changed, and new things came in to play.
This year I've actually GOT a few things I would appreciate you helping me obtain:
A New Graphics Card: I can't tell you how difficult it is to play some of my more recent games without it.
And while it might be easier to just save up and buy a new game console, let me tell you… I've BEEN through the struggles of that… and I'd rather keep my freedom of choice, you know? All of these exclusive titles and subscription fees give me a headache some days.
Don't get me wrong… I'm pretty patient. Even if Final Fantasy XVI (that's 16 if you hate roman numerals) ends up taking YEARS to come to PC… I'll wait. It'll be worth it, even.
For that matter, I still haven't beaten Star Ocean: Divine Force yet, which I plan to do once I get 'said' Graphics Card, Sonic Frontiers included.
I still play Stranger of Paradise too, but it'd be great to have a better Graphics Card to handle that title as well.
So much I want to do, get, finish, and share with my friends if I can manage it.
And while I do have a rather extensive Steam Wishlist… well, a lot of games aren't even out yet, so I can wait on those.
I think the biggest things I want right now are for mod patch updates to better expand content on the games I already have.
I think GGStrive modders somewhat know what I'm talking about, but March can't get here soon enough!
I would also like a classic version of Sin's OATH flag for Strive as a mod… but who knows when THAT will be made (if at all).
I could also use some new T-shirts and Guilty Gear merchandise… if you could hook me up with that as well…
I feel like I've been falling behind on the necessities and engaging aspects of being a Guilty Gear fan.
Better yet still, I feel like I need more Manga and Magazines to read (and maybe a Girlfriend to hang out with too).
If I'm naughty, I'm sure plenty of people will let me know… but, if I've been "nice"… let me know that too… I could use the encouragement.
Just… make sure the staff and developers of ARC System Works and Square Enix (and Electronic Arts, Konami, and FromSoftware) KNOW that we want something GOOD next year… that's all I really want.
Less exclusivity, more fun… less esports, more extra modes and customization. That's all, really.
The more freedom games give me, the more I can express myself and my dreams…
And hey, a sequel to Code Vein also wouldn't hurt.
Take care, Santa… stay warm and don't dive down any unused Chimneys, nowadays people use floor heating…
----Your Pal, Gear-Project (well, you know my real name anyway)…
P.S. I wouldn't mind Rumble Fish 2 or DNF Duel as a quick gift if you don't mind!
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'Killing Time: Resurrected' Switch Review
Back in the day, I did not own a 3DO. I was a regular reader of Electronic Gaming Monthly and other video game magazines, and they all covered the console to varying degrees. Some games looked fun, but nothing that had me interested in scraping together the large sum of money needed to buy one. I didn't know anyone who owned one, probably for the same reasons. The next generation of consoles came, and I just shrugged my shoulders and figured I would probably never play a 3DO. And I never did.
In recent years, some of those more obscure consoles have been seeing a little love. There were Jaguar games in Atari 50. Limited Run paid homage to the CD-i with a game and controller built in its image. Intellivision, Atari 7800, and Atari Lynx games have popped up here and there on consoles like the Evercade. We've also seen a few 3DO games, all of which I have been... lucky enough to review. Let's just say that my image of the console has not been helped a great deal by Plumbers Don't Wear Ties and PO'ed. But I will say that those games had a distinctive character to them, giving me at least part of that 3DO flavor.
Killing Time: Resurrected also feels very much of the 3DO. Yes, I know it had a PC port back in the day, but there is a certain style to this game that marks it. This mash of not-quite-3D and digitized actors, all wrapped up in a frenetic DOOM-inspired action game, could only have happened in a very particular time and place. Unlike PO'ed, Killing Time is actually pretty good. Not that I don't appreciate PO'ed bizarre design, but Killing Time feels like I can enjoy it without qualifications.
A lot of this comes down to the quality of this remake. Nightdive has done its thing using the KEX Engine, and as a result we've got the ultimate version of Killing Time here. All the enemies and weapons from both 3DO and PC versions, fully 3D levels that allow you to look all around, extremely clear FMV bits and bobs, and none of that nasty loading. Killing Time isn't a perfect game by any means, but this might be the perfect version of Killing Time. Freed from technical shackles and with its best foot put forward, this game turns out to be a very solid game for its time.
I really appreciate the size of it all, though like other games of its era some places look so similar that it's easy to get lost. The gunplay feels good, and you get some really interesting weapons to mess with. The FMV stuff is corny as heck, but it helps give the game a strong identity. There's a lot more story here than you would usually see in a first-person shooter of this era, and it makes for a fun contrast with the fast action. You get all the usual options you would expect from a Nightdive release, so you can customize just about everything. You can even turn off a lot of the improvements to get a more classic experience, if that is what you want.
While I think that Nightdive has released better games, that mostly comes down to the original version being better. Killing Time: Resurrected might be its best remake, taking a decent game and buffing it up in several ways that help it shine its brightest. I had a really good time playing through this one, certainly more than I expected to. It has that boomer shooter excitement while managing to feel like its own thing. If you enjoy classic first-person shooters, this is one worth checking out.
Switch Score: 4/5
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So am I officially Batwoman now? 🦇👀 IG - bigtoysdubaimall #batmobile #ba...
It does not turn into a motorcycle that has different tires but they want to do that but we're working on stuff that they're transformers supposed to be a few motorcycles we'll have a craft in two motorcycles but what you're seeing here is the Batman Tumblr so version of the Tumblr that's what he designed it to look like and to ride like and he put a truck rear into it and just like they have here and it worked it is intense Max have a lot of those these guys are trying to build it and they can't seem to get it right this one is not bad the wheels are they're attached correctly the horsepower is up there in the axle handle it that's why the axle is there. She was so pleased then she was in it and she was getting pictures with her with the machine and the Batman is actually a Mac who drives it and he says no I think it's isn't it the Trump version and it is so she didn't want pictures with him he tried to find Catwoman and she was unavailable but she showed up anyways and she's in the distance and she saw I drove up to her and asked her if she would take a picture or two and she was happy to it's a lot of fun but he's treated poorly and it's his design and they thought this was intense he said you should see the one we have it's like a toy and it flips over like this but different it's very fast flipping over you can ride upside down and they said that's really weird
Thor Freya
It rides upside down and you just turn the fuselage and you can turn it back the other way I mean it's just intense it's different we had a new one everyone's buying the car I have data we have about 200 million they're not ours and their sales by Aston Martin and it's of the new supercar and everybody is just absolutely mad about it 200 million is the most sold of a new supercar yet so we're still talking about Pontiac and we're talking to them about it and they want to know about the supercar they don't know what kind of engine it has and how to make it fast and stuff like that so in a little meeting this morning they said if we draw it and give basic specs and how are you going to achieve the speed and basic design meeting the exterior schematic basic Hull configuration and frame they probably will try and build it as something or as a Pontiac and we will sue them the old fashioned way if they do it without us involved and they pretty much don't intend to have us involved and they said we see that and we need something like that and same with the firebird and the fiero and they started listing off a bunch of stuff like this 737 and they said we should start making it ourselves and be ready to make more than they do but really it's a method is what we're looking for to do just have to bite the bullet again so they said we're going to go ahead with it and then they said I did a great job and it's true
Hera
And this is the Tumblr or as Chris says as Stewie the Tumbla. It's going to be a heck of a night the game is on but boy that was a lot of fun I think it was fast I want to go into the desert and all sorts of stuff came across my mind that's if I go up the stairs and stuff and they said no and he heard why not she could be the next Catwoman Michelle Pfeiffer and they said we don't want to do that so they thought about it and it might happen anyway call me back to driving around in the desert and stuff we can sell them or something they could I'm looking forward to it again you're fighting these guys and you don't have this out there and it looks simplified it should be and it said it should be simple it doesn't look it though and you separated from electronics make them modular and they said okay it made a lot of sense to them and the hardware on the on the machine you make the fuselage almost one piece and the writing equipment is separate that way if it breaks you can repair it easily so they're going ahead and working on it and I couldn't believe the speed of what you were relaying it but that's probably with the max did because he said it before
Sherry
You have a few more things to say but we're going to make our own and we got her advice you should probably make these and we have seen in the desert and it looks like that it's intense we're going to have a football game tonight that's going to be intense Kansas City we think it's going to get beaten up by San Francisco against the perimeter and rumor has it he's involved with the team and he said no they're not they don't have any involvement with the football game or the team it's just the area and if we win it looks bad so we get that can't take the wind out of sales because of that
Stan we're working on the contract and we're trying to get it out and you say I know the time frame we're going to call in and we should make it before the first at least this is going to look a little better I think tomorrow and maybe more will happen he says they have a few more enemies than just us and it's true if they go up there and do this again fight them and they'll keep sending them for a little bit then the clones up north we hear they're going to try and start their engines this week and attract a lot of them
Olympus
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