#you bring light in my darkest times anon

[itsblasttothepast]

I'm not really a Chewis fan (I don't mind them, I just like Chestappen more) for a few reasons but I think that if there was something between them it was more of a BFF with benefits in their younger days - with Checo baying all babygirl in Sauber and Lewis being the moment at that time (I think that after Nico Lewis wouldn't want to mix personal and profesional ever again) but they sure do have chemistry. A song for them would be I think, Never Mind by Rafael Witt (it's a bit angsty but that's how I feel about this ship) - it's like Sergio reflecting at their relationship after years - mind you, that's just my interpretation so it might be completly wrong - it's written with the perspective that Chewis was real until they fell apart somewhere around 2018 and ended completly in 2021.

"Sleep/Isn’t it much harder?/Searching just to find her where you would not expect"

That is Checo thinking about the past and wondering what could've been if he stayed with Lewis as something more than just friends - I think that young Lewis wouldn't look for happiness in Sergio just because he was focused on becoming the greatest when Checo was just a rookie who was trying hard. I recon Sergio wouldn't have such doubts and he would just want to be happy with what he had. "To be/Lost inside, you’re a liar/Whining won’t inspire/The ghosts you thought were in the past"

I think the ghost of Lewis's relations with Nico would play a huge role on the downfall of Chewis, with Sergio witnesing it first hand and supporting both of them through the difficult times. I think Lewis would be the one who would refuse to talk about past claiming that he "dealt with it" and Checo would be just tired of being in the shadow of something he couldn't fully understand.

"Why would I take your order?/Disorder, I cry/Crumble even further/Disorder, I yearn"

That is Checo from McLaren or the end of Force India times when everything around him seemed hostile and against him and he just wanted to do his best but he couldn't operate in the chaos. Not to mention that he went to McLaren to replace Lewis which only adds to the narrative of feeling lost and slightly undervalued (by the teams and by Lewis, who was chasing stars in Merc - he was there to congratulate him on every victory but Lewis wasn't really there for him).

"I’ll confess my love to the stars/And you’d never mind"

Sergio loves with his whole heart and it was just a matter of differences in personalities that caused them to fall apart eventually, no argument had taken place, nobody did anything worng - they are the perfect example of "the right person, the wrong time" "Now you said some things you wish you didn’t/You put me to walk/within your limits/Explain to me clearly now" I think Lewis might have held some sort of grudge against Sergio for how the 2021 season played of and how Checo did his best to help Max (adding on top the controversy of Abu Dhabi and what went on there). He probably didn't even know it but Sergio could feel the distance and he decided that it was best to be just friends than resent each other. Years passed and now he would like to talk to Lewis clearly about what happened to them because if you love someone so much you never stop, the love just takes on different shape.

"I wanna learn to heal the spirit/Walk with my own eyes/Watch the Sun, the morning light"

Right now with all the shit going on Sergio just wants to enjoy the time he has left in the sport and make the most of it, looking for the happy memories for himself and not trying to prove anything to anyone.

"I wanna learn to feel the world/Drown within its arms/Step outside the guiding lines" Sergio from this season decided to throw caution to the wind and he started to meet the annoying journalists with the "I don't give a fuck" energy because he finnaly doesn't want the media to dictate if he is or isn't enjoying doing what he loves. He is no longer the PR trained pet RBR can use however they want and I think Lewis would admire that, seeing that he was once forced into a persona that wasn't him too. As for Billie Eilish and Chestappen I think the most obvious one is Ocean Eyes

"I've been watchin' you for some time/Can't stop starin' at those ocean eyes/Burning cities and napalm skies/Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes/Your ocean eyes" Sergio watched Max grew inside the sport and he was there with him from the beginning, he knew what Max was capable of and he never doubted his skills. He saw Max become what he is today - a record breaking machine with almost nothing that could stop him - and I think he admires him in a way.

"No fair/You really know how to make me cry/When you gimme those ocean eyes/I'm scared/I've never fallen from quite this high/Fallin' into your ocean eyes/Those ocean eyes" Ekhem - Brazil 2022 again? How Max destroyed Sergio's picture of how they could be great teammates? How the whole mess afterwards somehow painted him as the vilivan? And what did he do? Nothing, he made peace with it and continued his work, eventually going back to being friendly with Max - because let's be honest, Max is only scary on the track, off of it he's a little puppy dog who wants to play - and he can't help it, he just likes his silly blonde teammate.

"I've been walkin' through a world gone blind/Can't stop thinkin' of your diamond mind/Careful creature made friends with time/He left her lonely with a diamond mind/And those ocean eyes" It's like- It's just them, isn't it? Sergio, aside from Kamui, never had a good teammate who would be nice to him (not talking about racing but outside of the race weekends too) and I think he likes how things work with Max, especially since the Dutchman is really entertaining and quick witted - making friends with him must've been something new for Checo and let me tell you, I don't think the process was easy at all, with Max fighting for WDC, with them having problems in 2022, with RBR being the way it is - but it worked in the end, no?

First, let me tell you song headcanon anon, how much I love your asks and how they cheer me up in this dark moments after Austin 🥰

I appreciate even when you aren't a Chewis fan, you found a song about them! First of all, it's a fan headcanon that Lewis and Checo had something going on when they were younger. The hugs, the looks, the joking around... then both Nicos got in the middle (Hulkenberg for Checo and Rosberg for Lewis) and they drifted apart.

I think we all agree that if those two had something going on, it ended in 2021 after Checo joined RBR and became enemy number two (Max being number one).

Anon, you get Checo so well, I once saw a post that said something about the problem with Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader (sorry, Star Wars reference here): 'Anakin loved too much and Darth Vader loved too little'. So I see Checo as the one always loving too much, giving everything. He loves his teams, even evil McLaren, he loves his teammates, he loves racing... but it's too much love and he isn't appreciated as much by teams and teammates (they are the ones loving too little).

As much as I love Chewis, I know Lewis is focused on himself and his eight championship (and he indirectly blames Checo for not getting it), so it makes sense he moved on.

I know! I recommended Ocean Eyes for a fancam, I originally heard that song in a Chewis video, which as pretty as it was, I didn't get why the song, since none of them have blue eyes XD

With the Mexican GP around the corner, maybe we need a more cheerful song for Chestappen, do you have one? Please share!!

(Also, while I suck, I'm thinking of making fanvideos with your song recommendations... some day in the future when I have time 😅

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

If a version of Midnight Sun existed for each following instalment of the Twilight series (New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn), what do you think they’d be called/what would you call them and what (new) scenes would be in them?

Anon, you speak my greatest dream. I want this in my life. If no one else does, then I am the sole person who does. If there is not one person who wants this, it means that I have died.

I need this.

But for now, I can only imagine (and no doubt fail miserably to what it would be in actuality).

New Moon

The thing is that Meyer would also want to call this New Moon for the reason that she called it New Moon for Bella: this is a book about hopelessness. Edward leaves, Bella's soulmate, she literally cannot survive without him and this book is her discovering "oh, yeah, I literally cannot survive without him" (and making friends with Jacob but let's be real Meyer was never that into that).

It's a book where the moon, the light, is gone.

For Edward, we have the same narrative, he tries to leave Bella for her own good, fails, has a miserable time, and comes crawling back only to find that he's made everything worse.

But because Edward is more dramatic, and to thematically work with Midnight Sun (named thus as Bella is the unexpected sunlight in what should be the darkest of Edward's nights) we have Polar Night which is the phenomenon opposite of Midnight Sun where instead of the sun never setting at all we have the night never ending.

As for what would be in it. My friend, my beautiful friend, everything would be in it.

We'd get the scene where Edward bullies his family into leaving, many of them having reservations, and then steals all Bella's photographs and tries and fails to steal the stereo out of her car. We'd get scenes of Edward fantasizing about Bella marrying and holding hands with MiKe NEWtoN and it being entirely too much for him. We get all of the birthday party, period, which from Edward's point of view would no doubt be insane.

We have Edward so fucking depressed that he feels he's bringing the family down and chooses to leave on the vague pretext of catching Victoria. Then he doesn't catch Victoria and loses her in Mexico but is so depressed he just keeps going south until he hits Brazil.

Where he stays, and per what he says to Bella (which is undoubtedly not the entire truth) he was fucking miserable and did nothing for months. Did he have a Hallucination Bella who told him not to eat human food because it'd make him sick? Did he write a rock opera about Bella Swan only to realize it didn't live up to real life and burn it in a fit of despair and anger? What about the family calling to check in? We know that happened, Rosalie could reach Edward and he answered, so did they just call and quietly try to ask if Edward's coming back home or not? You know? Anytime? Edward?

And then of course his pleading for death with the Volturi, being told no, planning his elaborate massacre-suicide before settling on good old suicide without any murder and Bella being alive and that whole debacle from his point of view including "OH NO OTHER MAN MOVED IN" when he realizes Jacob's... kind of... a thing...

Everything would be new in part because we see so little of Edward and given the insanity in Midnight Sun that was never in Twilight I can't even guess to what Edward got up to for months in Rio.

It could be fucking anything.

Eclipse

Or "Edward did a bad thing and is now very nervous" the novel. As for what it's call, this is less clear as we have to go with the sun/moon themes here, and Eclipse is already taken. If we're allowed weather related events maybe "Eye of the Hurricane" as there's a storm out there and this book is about Edward barely holding his shit together. This is his nightmare scenario in every way.

Bella has a new love interest, a friend she believes is platonic who is very interested in her, and worse, Edward actually does admire and is hands down in Edward's opinion the better man for her to be with. Bella's changed when he was gone and is now an adrenaline junky, what else about her has changed? How much did he miss? She's involved in werewolves who all hate Edward, for good reason, and want her to leave him, for good reason. Edward has discovered that he actually can't leave Bella, Alice was right, even though he wants to be that strong desperately. Bella got the family to agree to turn her and they'll do it, Edward's barely gotten her to agree to be turned by him instead, but she's hemming and hawing about marrying and committing to him and she wants him to bang him (which will likely lead to her death)

Edward is straight up not having a good time, bro.

So, we'd get Edward's insane plans to keep Bella and Jacob apart, his meeting Bella in the road after her looking like he'd love nothing more than to pull The Terminator where he chases her car down. We get Edward's increasing nervousness that Bella "wants to be with him forever" but "doesn't want to marry him" (which for Edward, understandably as he doesn't have Bella's background, is something that just doesn't compute). And there's Jacob, kissing Bella, warming her up at night, thinking very dirty things when Edward's sitting right there internally screaming.

And of course, offscreen things with the family, likely venting about the Denali who are leaving them to die because they won't let them kill the children Native Americans, wondering if they're all going to die in this fight, even more of the tent scene with Jacob (which I'm sure, somehow, I'm sure, got very homoerotic in there). Probably sobbing to Alice "I fucked up" and then hating Rosalie BECAUSE THIS IS ALL HER FAULT HISS HISS.

And of course, what we know he sees from Bree and perhaps the discussion with the family that Bella never got to be privy to.

And I imagine a lot of fantasies of Bella pregnant with Jacob's beautiful babies.

Breaking Dawn

I'm going to bow out for this one too, Meyer would want to name it that. Maybe we get "Hailey's Comet" or something, in that Edward has related Bella to a comet streaking across the bleak sky of his life and this is him learning to accept to be happy and perhaps good things are allowed to happen to him.

But anyways.

I mean.

We get Breaking Dawn.

We get Edward gearing himself up for sex and asking the family how to bang a woman. We know he did this. Canonically he confesses to Bella, in the weirdest manner possible, that he asked his entire family how to do it (and it made it clear that Carlisle didn't really approve and was pretty :/ and "don't do it" about all of it). We get the family probably watching Alice like hawks because they're waiting for her to tell them if Bella lived or died through intercourse. We get Edward interrogating the maid in Portuguese and god knows what they even said to one another but it had to be wild.

We get Edward planning Bella's abortion, the betrayal by Rosalie yet again, and then more planning of her forced abortion with Jacob and his opinion on Jacob turning from "respected rival" into "my only friend".

Then we get Edward's complete flip on Renesmee which must have been... I don't even know. But he'd be thinking she's the spawn of Satan before that (in the most Edward manner possible) and then that she's Jesus after that (in the most Edward manner possible).

Then of course there's "my son, Jacob" and honestly probably fantasizing about an adult Renesmee pregnant with Jacob's beautiful babies. Let's be real here. and just...

Look.

I can't predict this.

What we saw of Breaking Dawn was already insane and this would only be more so because it's Edward. There's so much we don't see as Bella pays 0 attention to the other vampires and to the family at large and Edward would just...

I have no idea.

It would just be madness.

TL;DR

I need this.

[intermundia]

I'm a different anon, but your answer to that person, about how we all have our own perspectives and such, got me curious if you wanted to talk about your favorite things about Anakin? I really like how he has this earnest passion in everything he says and does, no matter what the consequences are. He lets his instincts and heart influence what actions he takes. I think you could say the same about Obi-Wan too to a degree, but I think Obi-Wan errs to keeping his emotions/intentions concealed until he has the best advantage he can get. And I think that this sort of "two sides of the same coin" contrast between them is part of what makes the ship appealing. Anyway, yeah, I wanted to know what you enjoy about Anakin ^^ And that other anon too, if they want to send another ask about their feelings/thoughts

Oh man, what a question. You've activated my trap card. Anakin Skywalker is possibly my favorite character of all time. It's endlessly fascinating to read stories about him, and writing him allows me to articulate the messy, painful, thwarted parts of myself. He's half my brain, and Obi-Wan is the other half, and resolving their differences brings me deep catharsis.

Everything you said about him is so true, his earnest passion is so deeply appealing. Obi-Wan called him passionate, fearless, forthright, and he is the embodiment of those traits, but he's flawed too, and flawed in ways I feel in my bones, and regrets the same things that I regret. He's so beautiful and so damned, a fallen and risen angel, you know?

Stover wrote that the brightest light casts the darkest shadow. He ends up at just the nadir of cruelty and violence, but he begins from a place of pure generosity and light. His intentions were so good, and he was so impossibly brave. It seems like arrogance, that cocky assurance of what he was capable of, but the universe bends around him to fit his will.

He's more than human, he's half-divine, a mirror and barometer of the entire galaxy's mood. His life is coextensive with the rise and fall of an empire, his personal tragedy from greed is both archetypal and relatable, and he is the scaffolding the narrative rests inside. Luke is the hero of the story but Anakin is the embodiment of the world he strives against.

He is painfully earnest and a liar, a villain and a victim, naive and jaded, brilliant but foolish, perfect and deeply flawed. It's so easy for me to understand why he was so beloved. He's absolutely the other side of Obi-Wan's coin, the heart to Obi-Wan's head, the passion to his reason, the instinct to his experience. The Team together is one complete and fully realized being, separation means incompleteness and disaster.

Vader is just one of the most iconic villains of all time, and Lucas defied all expectations in the prequels. He used his character to tell a cautionary tale about greed rather than give excuses for why he became such a monster. He is intentionally shown to be so generous and kind as a boy, handsome and daring as a man, with infinite wasted potential for good, it's incredible.

Idk man, I like him and I love him, I hate him and I want him; he's one of the best characters of the modern age.

[sorceresssundries]

Writing prompt - Gale surprises Tav with a bunch of red roses and a candlelit dinner.

The Rose of Reithwin

Pairing: Gale x gn Tav - SFW

Word Count: 2k

You must have sensed i'm struck in a rut! Here you go, my lovely anon. I got a bit carried away. I hope you enjoy <3

Tav ached all the way down to their bones. The lack of sunlight, breeze, and even the stagnation of time itself was a burden which they could feel cloying in their veins. Tav dreamed of flowers and sunlight, of food that wasn’t dried out and looted from long-rotted barrels or the backpacks of fallen soldiers. Tav ached for comfort in a land which still throbbed with ongoing pain.

After a long needed wash in whatever water they could find amongst the shadows, Tav headed back to camp, hoping to find some solace in Gale’s warm words and strong arms. It had been a couple of nights since they had spent their first, proper night together. Just the memory of it was enough to spark a small flame of comfort, but Tav needed to be in his company for it to fan into a heat warm enough to melt away the icy shards of the shadow curse. 

To Tav’s surprise, Karlach was hovering outside Gale’s tent,  excitement evident in the sparks and flickers glowing from her engine. She couldn’t stay still, practically vibrating with energy. She was dressed... unusually.

“You’re wearing a bow tie?” 

“I know!” Karlach’s ability to light up with even the slightest taste of joy was enough to keep even the darkest shadows at bay. “I found it on a corpse!!” She added with unbound enthusiasm.

“Oh, well... well done?”

“Thanks! Oh, wait a minute.” She rummaged around in her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper covered in elegant writing, along with a single, slightly flattened, rose. “Sorry, it looked better before I sat on it.”

Tav took the paper, perplexed. “This... is a menu.” They read over the intricate, swirling script in total confusion.

“Yeah! Gale asked if I would help him, and well... he said I may have gone a bit too far with everything, but I thought I could help! He, um, said the Simulacrum freaked you out a bit last time.” She mimicked the jaunty pose that Gale’s mirror image had performed a few nights ago, and Tav tried their best not to laugh at the impression. “And he was busy concentrating on other magicky, wizard stuff, so I told him to leave it with me.”

“So... here I am, my liege.” She bowed dramatically. “Mr. Dekarios awaits the pleasure of your incom... incom... incompra...” She suddenly unfurled another, smaller note from her top pocket and scanned over it, mouthing the words soundlessly. “Fuck it, his handwriting is awful. Gale is waiting for you at the Waning Moon.”

The abandoned pub was not far from where they had set up camp, and Karlach pointed to a trail of floating lanterns illuminating a path for Tav to follow. They glowed with gentle magic, and Tav grinned to themselves, amused by the wizard's flair for the dramatic. Gale was always one to create a sense of wonder, and it seemed like whatever he had planned for the evening would be no exception.

When Tav reached the building and pushed open the doors, they could not believe the view. 

In the centre of the room stood Gale, his hands aglow with arcane energy as he conducted a symphony of magic. With a wave of his hand, ribbons of light twisted and twirled, weaving themselves into elaborate decorations. Flowers bloomed from thin air, their petals unfolding in bursts of colour to settle upon various neglect-scarred surfaces.

“You’re here!” Gale said, his voice filled with warmth and excitement. “I’m almost finished.”

Tav watched in awe as Gale orchestrated the magic around them, bringing the abandoned building to life with his spellcraft. Tables appeared, draped in luxurious fabrics and adorned with silver candelabras that flickered with ethereal flames. Chairs formed from wisps of mist solidified under their touch, their cushions embroidered with intricate patterns that seemed to shift and shimmer. The cracked wooden floorboards were mended, and gleamed under the soft glow of floating candles. The grimy, stained walls had brightened, and were now streaked with vines of ivy that bloomed with small, colourful flowers.

In the centre, a table for two stood, set with fine china, crystal goblets, and a centrepiece of roses that flitted between various shades of rich red in the candlelight. The once dingy bar was now a haven in a hellscape.

“You… you did all this? For me?”

Gale made his way over to hold Tav’s hand, and the contact immediately relieved a tight coil within their chest. “I meant what I said. If we had more time… well...” He gestured to the scene around him. “I would do it all better.”

Music spilled from an unknown source, soft and comforting. It had been so long since Tav had heard music, since the air around them had been filled with anything other than death and shadow. The song was familiar, warm...

Gale seemed to pick up on their thoughts. “You may not remember, but... it's a song Alfira played at the party with the Tieflings.” He blushed slightly, the pink in his cheeks glowing in the soft candlelight.  “It was playing just after our conversation, after I told you to go enjoy your evening.”

Tav let a smirk play at their lips, recalling their attempt at propositioning the wizard. The heady mixture of joy and wine had urged them toward Gale, to flirt with the man with the disarming smile, who had very gallantly turned them down. 

“So… you did want me that evening?”

“Oh, I wanted you.” All hint of self-consciousness dropped from his expression, leaving only raw sincerity. “This song was playing when I realised I was falling in love with you.”

Tav’s heart fluttered. The music made the air feel lighter. For a moment, they were not soldiers in a battle-scarred town but two lovers in the bliss-filled infancy of a new relationship. Where possibilities crackled with lively potential. Where each touch and loving word was a promise heavy with pure, unfiltered intention.

“I remember that night,” Tav said softly. “I remember wishing for more moments we could just be us for a little while.”

Gale’s eyes were a mixture of hope and regret. “Maybe we can still have those moments. Maybe we can find a way.”

Tav squeezed his hand. “Maybe you already have.” “I hope so.” He kissed Tav’s poor, battle-worn fingers. “I am torn between wishing you had never had to endure any of this horror, to being extraordinarily grateful to have met you.” He was suddenly aching with sadness. “It is a heartbreaking realisation, to know the person you love is in your life due to a tragedy you wish had never befallen them.” He cupped the face of his love, and stroked his thumb along fresh scars and the fading stain of bruises which lurked just under their skin. “No-one should ever have to learn how brave they can be.”

He leant forward then, and brushed his lips against theirs. Chaste and gentlemanlike, the kind of kiss one would expect from a gallant partner on a first date, and Tav couldn’t help but think of the heavy, moaned kisses which Gale had lain across every inch of their body just a few nights prior. He really was doing everything backwards. 

Tav decided they would play along with the honourable behaviour, for now, and instead turned their attention to the beautiful display of roses. 

“A very traditional choice, Mr.Dekarios.” 

“‘Rose is a term of endearment in Waterdeep. To refer to one’s beloved.” His eyes were soft and shimmered in the light. “I thought they would be fitting.”

Tav picked up one of the roses and admired the velvet of its petals, the rich, wine-like scent, and the sharp bite of thorns.  “I hope you do not think the thorns are due to any slip in my arcane proficiency. I know it’s just illusionary, but.. I wanted to make the whole thing as.. human as possible. The old ways, if you will. Thorns and all.” 

“Well, whatever you’ve done - the food smells incredible.” The savoury scent of roasting meat mingled with the earthy, buttery smell of cooked vegetables and fresh herbs enveloped Tav in much-needed comfort. 

“That is no illusion, my rose.” He pulled out one of the chairs, and motioned for Tav to sit and with a click of his fingers two mage hands appeared with plates of fresh, steaming food. “That is the dedicated endeavour of a man with exceptional culinary skill and limited resources.”

“How on earth did you find all this?!” 

“Well, I may have used some of my charm and resorted to a bit of bribery.”

“You’re rubbish at bribery!

“Yes, okay, that’s true. But Astarion isn’t, and for a small fee, he was able to get me what I needed.” Gale raised his hands at Tav’s indignant expression. “I did not ask too many questions, and he gave no answers—so, for all intents and purposes, this food has been legitimately acquired and therefore should be enjoyed guilt-free.” He smiled his lazy, heart-melting smile and tucked into the meal.

The food was delicious, the wine full and rich, the company unrivalled. 

Tav thought how full of life this little pub in Reithwin must have been all those years ago. How locals would come through the doors after a day's hard graft. How mason’s would grip pint glasses with dusty hands and let the cold beer soothe their calloused fingers.

This place must have been filled with wine-fuelled singing, drinking games and endless, mindless, repetitive stories of the residents of Reithwin. A place for midday companionship, and late night solitude. This little heart of Reithwin town would have beat with stories and laughter of those lost to shadow.

And for a little while, in the long-dead town of Reithwin, life returned. The glow that enveloped Gale and Tav outshone that of even the moon’s blessing. There was light enough here to cast out curses, just for a little while. Just for two lovers in that hopeful, crack of a dawning relationship, where the impossible danced and shone, and took no notice of lurking shadows. 

As they ate and laughed and shared stories of times before tadpoles and curses and nautiloids, Tav took in the unrivalled beauty of the setting Gale had conjured with awe.

“I’ve never seen illusionary magic like this.” Tav ran their finger through one of the flames from a candle, and felt the heat bite their skin.

“That's because this is no ordinary illusion.” He reached over to hold Tav’s hand across the table, stroking them gently with his thumb.

“This is a promise of things to come. This is an illusion that I intend to make into reality, and the magic is all the stronger for it.”

There were no words, conjurations, or illusions powerful enough for Gale to express his gratitude, or his genuine intention. He knew that promises and declarations would not be enough, that these conjured roses were just saplings in the entire sun-filled garden he wanted to grow for Tav. It would take time, it would take nerve and messy, mortal dedication. But he would do it. 

He would plant seeds, feed them with water pulled from the deepest well . He would sweat and toil under the relentless summer sun, remaining vigilant through the bleak winters. With human hands, he would grow flowers, watching patiently as the slow spell of time brought life and beauty from nothing. He would wait, earning each soft-petaled rose, cherishing the joy they would bring, ribbon-tied and wine-scented, to his brave love. He would place them in crystal vases, where light would dance through and spill colour throughout their home.

And, when the inevitable happened, when the petals curled and dipped and eventually fell like feathers. It will have been worth it. All the toil and grief and mortal determination of it all will have been worth it, just to remind his love of the promise made in that hopeful night in Reithwin. 

[maximoffcarter]

loml.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader, Casey Novak x Alex Cabot.

Summary: Alternative ending...after finding out that Alex was still alive and after having the chance to talk to her, something changed in her once again, unsure of why life had taken Alex from her and when she found happiness again, decided to bring her back. Once again, things don't always go as we want them to...

A/n: ✨SURPRISE✨ So, I did not expect a lot of you to actually be upset that Calex wasn’t endgame, I thought people would like that Casey ended up with reader🥴 So, sweet and genius anon sent me another request and here you have. So please let's all say "thank you sweet and genius anon", thanks to them, we have an alternative ending😌 I hope I don't disappoint with this one haha. More to come guys, I'm working on everyone's requests. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

Part 1.

*not my gif*

It had been a few months since Casey and Alex had seen each other again. Casey couldn’t deny that after being upset and hurt that Alex had lied and had just left Casey to think that she was really gone, part of her was happy to know that she was still alive. She had tried to go back to her life and act as normally as possible, but her mind couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if she hadn’t moved on. If she had closed herself to the possibility of being alone for the rest of her life, then Alex walking back into her life. But then her mind was clouded with guilt. There was no denial that she was happy, everyone noticed it, everyone commented on it, she had seen the change in her life, and she couldn’t deny the strong feelings she had for y/n. She was thankful that even in the darkest time of her life, y/n had been able to light it up at some point. And her mind and mind being split in two made her feel guilty and upset at herself.

As for y/n, she noticed the way Casey had turned quiet. She could sense the change in her attitude and the way she acted around the squad and y/n. Yes, she was still pretty much clinging to her, she was still pretty much being her silly self around y/n, but she could also tell that there was something bothering Casey, and she couldn’t help but think about Alex. After Olivia told her who Alex had been for Casey, she couldn’t help but feel guilty for persuading Casey, and also hurt to think that what they had was something special, something that no one could replace. Their time together had been everything, y/n hadn’t been this happy in forever, and Casey had confessed the same thing, but y/n still couldn’t take off her mind that maybe, just maybe, there was still a part of Casey that deeply loved Alex, after all, y/n could tell that Alex had been her first true love…

“Earth to y/n.”

Y/n snapped out of her trance and looked up at Olivia, offering a small smile as she saw the coffee in her hand. “Thanks.” She said softly as she grabbed the coffee and took a sip of it.

Olivia sat on the desk and looked directly at y/n, sensing that there was something wrong. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing.” Y/n simply said as she focused back on her computer, taking another sip of her coffee.

Olivia sighed softly. “You know better than to lie to me, y/l/n. So, are you gonna tell me or will I have to get it out of you?”

Y/n sighed as she looked back at Olivia, putting her coffee down. “Why do you think Casey actually accepted to go out with me?”

Olivia was taken aback by the question, but soon enough understood what this was about. “Well…she was really into you. It had been a while since I had seen Casey acting like that for someone. So, I’m sure she accepted because she wanted you.”

“Or she was just trying to get over Alex.” Y/n snapped all of a sudden, feeling a pang of sadness.

“Is this about Alex coming back?” Olivia asked softly.

“I know she was your friend. That she was loved by everyone here but…” y/n shook her head as she looked at her coffee. “…why did she have to come back?” She whispered softly.

Olivia looked away for a moment before she looked back at y/n, placing her hand on her shoulder and squeezing it. “We needed her. It was a surprise to all of us that she was still alive.”

“Casey was so upset, and then she just…accepted it, I guess. And now she’s…” y/n’s voice broke slightly. “…she changed.”

“I know it’s hard to think that Alex was someone important in Casey’s life. And like I said, it was really hard for Casey, she had some awful days. But you made it all better, y/n.”

“And what guarantees me that she won’t regret being with me and she’ll try to find Alex?” Y/n snapped again, her eyes getting teary as she looked up at Olivia. “I feel…bad. I feel guilty to think that I persuaded Casey when Alex was still alive. And the thing is…that I can’t even hate Alex because she’s so nice.”

Olivia huffed a little, nodding her head. “She mentioned how nice it had been to talk to you when you took her to the hotel.”

Y/n nodded. “I knew about her already, and even if I wanted to be upset, I couldn’t. She was so nice and so sweet.” She sighed.

Olivia placed her hand on y/n’s cheek, making her keep staring at her. “Casey loves you, y/n. I can tell. Casey wouldn’t just pretend. It’s not her.”

Y/n nodded softly. “I want to believe you, Liv. But it’s…hard when I see that she’s not acting like herself.”

Olivia nodded, but before she could say anything else, Elliot walked to them letting them know that they had a case. Y/n wiped away the tears that had left her eyes, taking another sip of her coffee before she followed Elliot. Olivia noted that she’d have to keep an eye on y/n, hoping that things wouldn’t get hard from here.

********************

Y/n closed the door behind her and leaned her head against it for a moment. She took a deep breath before she dropped her bag on the floor and walked to the kitchen. She slowly walked to the kitchen as she rubbed her temple but stopped in her tracks as she found Casey sitting on the kitchen island on one of the stools. Casey turned to look at her and offered a smile, y/n returned a small smile and walked directly to the cabinets to grab a glass. Casey frowned as she saw each move y/n made. She took a deep breath and tilted her head slightly.

“Y/n?” Casey whispered softly.

“Yeah?” Y/n whispered back as she got the glass full of water, drinking all of it in one sip.

Casey sighed softly as she stood up and walked around the kitchen island to get to y/n. She wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her close to her and kissing her shoulder. “Are we okay?” She whispered softly, there was a slight hint of sadness in her voice.

Y/n sighed softly and closed her eyes as she felt Casey kissing her shoulder. She placed her free hand on Casey’s arm and leaned back against her. “We are, Case.”

Casey sighed softly as she buried her face on y/n hair, closing her eyes as she breathed in her scent. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry about what?” Y/n whispered softly.

“About Alex.” Casey said softly, the name feeling weird as it left her lips but so familiar at the same time. “I really didn’t think this would affect me.”

Y/n sighed softly, leaving the glass on the counter, and turning in Casey’s arms. She rested her forehead against hers and placed her hands on Casey’s cheeks. “I get it, Casey. Alex was someone important to you. Maybe…everything to you.” She whispered the last words with a hint of sadness and jealousy. “I can’t blame you.”

“But it’s not fair to you.” Casey whispered back, pulling away enough to stare into her eyes.

Y/n nodded as she offered a small smile. “It’s not like you’re running back to her. You’re still here.”

Casey offered a small smile. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Y/n smiled. “You better not. Or I’ll sue your ass.”

Casey couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “Oh, really? And who would represent you, huh?” She grinned softly as she pulled y/n closer.

Y/n shrugged as she grinned back. “I’ll probably get Donna or Sophie to represent me.”

“Now that’s rude.” Casey couldn’t help but chuckle softly before she leaned in and pressed a sweet and tender kiss on her lips. “You know I love you, right?” She whispered against her lips.

Y/n nodded softly as she pecked her lips repeatedly. “I love you too.”

Casey smiled and kissed her nose softly. “How about we go out for dinner? My treat.”

“Sounds good to me.” Y/n smiled softly as she kissed her lips one more time before she grabbed Casey’s hand in hers. “Let’s go because I’m starving.” She chuckled softly.

********************

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Casey snapped as she crossed her arms, staring at Elizabeth. “Is this some sick joke or something?”

Elizabeth sighed as she sat back in her chair, shrugging. “It’s Moredock we’re talking about, Casey.”

“Not like I haven’t gone against him before. Why is it so important now?”

“We’re against a goddamn white suprematist. We know how Moredock pushes and tries to get what he wants. He might be able to actually win this if we don’t get ahead of him.” Elizabeth tried to keep her voice as low as possible, already sensing that Casey was about to start yelling any time soon.

Casey scoffed. “And what? I’m not capable of doing this in my own?”

Elizabeth sighed as she looked at Casey. “Casey…I know this is ideal for you. That this…” she shrugged. “…this is still a hard topic for us. But we need Alex.”

“No. You need Alex. I don’t. I’m capable of continuing this trial without her.”

“I’m not doing this to get on your ass, Casey. Both of you can actually win this case. She’ll be your second chair. That’s all.” Elizabeth leaned back in her chair as she sighed. “Have you had some…trouble with y/n?”

Casey sighed as she sat on one of the chairs, nibbling on her lip for a moment. “We are okay…but I did have my moments.”

“You cannot help it.”

“That’s what she said too.” Casey sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. “I…I love her, Liz. There is no denial in that.”

“Oh, I know that. But you also loved Alex. And it’s not like you guys ended things. She died.”

“She left.” Casey snapped. “I know it was for her own safety. But she didn’t die. She left.”

“I thought you had forgiven her.”

“I did. Which is why this is hard, and I cannot just…work with Alex as if nothing happened.”

“You and y/n are professionals, Casey. Act like one.” Elizabeth put her glasses on and returned her focus to her paperwork. She then sighed and looked back at Casey. “I’m sorry. I truly am. But this is to get justice.”

Casey nodded. “I know.”

Casey didn’t say anything else, she simply got up and left her office. Her mind was spinning as she tried to think what she was going to tell y/n. She felt bad enough about this whole situation, she had spent the last weeks trying to show y/n that it was her she loved, that it was her she wanted, and the things she did, and her feelings were genuine. But she knew y/n was still insecure, and honestly Casey couldn’t blame her. As she walked to her office, her heart dropped at the sight of a blonde-haired woman standing by her desk.

“Alex.” Casey simply said.

Alex turned to look at Casey and smiled softly. “Guess Liz broke the news to you.”

Casey exhaled as she nodded, walking to her desk, and trying to avoid eye contact with Alex. “She did. I was just going to pick up my stuff and head to the squad room.”

Alex nodded. “Can I come with you?”

Casey wetted her lips anxiously, turning to look at Alex for a moment, feeling like her heart was going to burst out of her chest. “Maybe you should stay this one out. I need to…” she looked down at her briefcase trying to come up with an excuse.

“Talk to y/n?”

Casey looked back at Alex, the mention of her girlfriend making her feel guilty all over again. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry that I’m making you go through this.”

“It’s not…” Casey sighed as she shook her head. “Alex, it’s complicated. It’s not like I hate you or don’t want to ever see you again. I told you that you’d always have a special place in my heart. And I meant it. But…it’s hard.”

Alex nodded as she shrugged. “I don’t want to come between you and y/n.”

“I know.” Casey said softly. “I don’t want that either.”

Alex sighed. “I’ll check the files with Liz. And you can find me there once you’re back.”

Casey nodded. “Sounds good.” She said before she left her office, sighing loudly as she walked to the elevator.

Casey felt like she was between two walls, she felt even more confused and upset about this whole thing, more so with herself, how she was debating about this whole thing when she was sure that she loved y/n. But seeing Alex again…fuck. As she arrived at the squad room, her eyes landed on y/n rapidly, and she felt her heart dropping at the serious look on her face. Y/n walked to her and tried to offer a small smile before she grabbed her hand and pulled her into an empty office.

“You heard, didn’t you?” Casey asked softly.

Y/n sighed as she closed the door, turning to look at Casey. “Cragen cracked the news just now.”

Casey sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Yeah, I just had a meeting with Liz.”

Y/n tilted her head as she pulled Casey close to her. “Are you okay?”

Casey nodded softly as she smiled. “I am, I just…” she sighed. “I don’t want things to be weird between us.”

Y/n sighed softly as she placed her hand on Casey’s cheek. “My love…we talked about this. I trust you and I know what Alex was for you.”

Casey nodded again. “I know but still.”

Y/n nibbled on her lip for a slight moment as she stared at Casey. “Do you think maybe…we should take a small break?”

Casey’s heart dropped as she stared at y/n. “What?”

“I don’t mean this in a bad way. I just mean this…for you to clear your mind, and don’t feel pressured because of me.” Y/n said softly.

“No, I…” Casey shook her head. “Y/n…”

“We are okay, Casey.” Y/n smiled softly as she stroked her cheek. “I still love you, and I always will. But I know you’re debating with yourself in that pretty head of yours.”

Casey sighed as she looked down at the floor. “I’m sorry, this is just…hard.”

“I know.” Y/n smiled softly. “I gotta stay today going through the case. I’ll text you anyway, okay? And if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

Casey felt her eyes getting teary but nodded softly. She placed her hands on y/n’s waist and pulled her close to her, kissing her lips softly. “I love you…I really do.” She whispered softly against her lips.

“I know.” Y/n smiled as she kissed her lips again.

********************

“Hi, have you seen Liv?”

Y/n looked up and her heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Alex. “Oh, uh…she went for lunch, it was her turn to go.”

“Oh, got it.” Alex cleared her throat. “I’ll uh…come back later then.”

Y/n nodded softly. “Alright.” She said almost in a whisper.

Alex sighed softly as she turned to look at y/n. “I’m sorry.”

Y/n looked back up at Alex as she furrowed her brows. “Sorry for what?”

“Because I know that I messed things up with you and Casey. And I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t. I didn’t expect this to happen. I don’t really know what I expected but I am really sorry.” Alex said rapidly, almost running out of breath as she spoke.

Y/n sighed softly as she shook her head. “Alex…I…know. And I know you didn’t do this on purpose. None of this was planned or anything, and I don’t hate you or anything.” She licked her lips anxiously, sighing again. “I’m just…I do wish things could’ve stayed the way they were. And I’m also…sorry.”

Alex shook her head. “She had a right to move on.”

“I know. But still.” Y/n offered a small smile. “Everything is okay, Alex. I promise.”

Alex nodded as she offered a small. “Good. I don’t want us to be in bad terms or anything.”

“We’re good. And…happy to have you back. I know you and Casey will do amazing.”

Alex smiled. “Thank you.”

Y/n watched Alex go and she took a deep breath before she exhaled, feeling her body relax not even noticing that she had been holding her breath and that she was tense. She shook her head softly as she went back to her computer and tried to focus back on what she was doing, but she still couldn’t get out of her head everything that was happening. What if the universe really didn’t want them together and Alex kept coming back because they were supposed to be together? The way Olivia had talked about Casey and Alex the first time…it sounded like they were meant to be and there had been an inconvenience that had stopped them for a moment, and then there she entered…was she an inconvenience too?

********************

Casey nibbled on her lip as she stood outside the courtroom, she had already talked to Elliot, Alex and even Moredock had joined the conversation. But there was no sign of y/n, and for a moment she feared that she wouldn’t show up anymore, or maybe she had been distracted with Olivia with something about the case, or…maybe she just didn’t want to see her. Casey sighed softly as she leaned back against the wall, looking at her watch over and over again. And then just as she turned to look at the elevator, her heart started beating hard as she noticed y/n walking to her. Casey smiled softly as she walked to y/n, meeting her halfway.

“You came.” Casey said softly.

Y/n nodded as she smiled. “I told you I’d come.” She placed her hand on Casey’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Casey nodded. “Yes. I mean…it’s stupid if we lose to be honest.”

“I really believe you could’ve won this on your own.” Y/n grinned softly.

Casey chuckled softly as she nodded. “Thank you.” She wetted her lips anxiously as she stared into y/n’s eyes. “Y/n…can I…” she sighed. “Can I please-“

“Case, we’re starting.” Elliot called out for Casey as he walked inside with Alex.

Casey turned to look at them before she groaned softly and turned back to y/n. “Well, I guess-“

Y/n placed her hand on Casey’s cheek and leaned in to kiss her lips softly. She took a moment, not caring that they had to go inside already. She then smiled softly against her lips, pulling away enough to look into green eyes. “You got this, Case.”

Casey smiled softly, leaning into y/n’s hand for a moment. “Thank you.” She whispered softly before they walked inside the courtroom.

The squad could feel the tension in the whole courtroom, it wasn’t unusual for this to happen, but this case specially had taken a toll on everyone. Y/n’s eyes were fixated on Casey the whole time, something in her mind telling her that something was wrong. She suddenly started feeling anxious, her leg bouncing and her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her blazer. She kept staring at the defendant’s side and back to Casey and Alex, something didn’t sit right but she couldn’t quiet tell what. Elliot noticed this as he sat beside her, furrowing his brows as he looked over to where y/n kept looking at and then looking back at her. At first, he didn’t say anything, focusing on the trial and what they were saying, but he couldn’t help but worry about the way y/n’s demeanor had suddenly changed. He carefully and slowly placed his hand on her bouncing leg, getting her attention and helping her snap out of her trance.

Elliot leaned in so he could whisper in her ear. “Everything alright?”

Y/n sighed softly as she leaned in too. “I don’t know. I feel like something is not right.”

Elliot furrowed his brows. “About what?”

Y/n looked back at the defendant’s side, and then back at Elliot. “Maybe it’s just me but…I don’t know.”

Elliot nodded. “We’ll keep an eye, okay? Don’t worry.” He grabbed her hand in his and squeezed it, offering a small smile.

Y/n returned the small smile and looked back at Casey, sighing softly. She tried to focus back on what they were saying, happy that the judge had taken Casey and Alex’s side but also trying to keep her eye on everyone around. The time seemed to slow down at some point, feeling the whole tension around, making her anxiety increase even if she was trying to hide it. She kept looking around with Elliot, making sure to also let Munch and Fin know that they were keeping an eye on everyone. But then, what had felt like time had slowed down, suddenly changed when she caught Kyle standing up, and before she knew, he pulled a gun out of his pocket.

“Race traitor!” Kyle screamed, and suddenly the whole courtroom was filled with screams and shots.

Y/n stood up rapidly, getting her gun out and trying to get to Casey as soon as possible, but Kyle had gotten there first, holding the gun against Casey’s head. Y/n felt like once again, time had stopped, and everything was in slow motion as she screamed for Casey. She pointed the gun at Kyle and heard Munch telling him to drop it but then another shot went off, making y/n turn to see they had hit Munch. Next thing she knew, Kyle pushed Casey to the floor and fired another shot directed at Elliot, and then he saw the way he turned directly to Alex who was about to walk to Casey. Without even thinking, y/n moved Alex out of the way and dropped to the floor as she got hit, groaned at the burning pain coursing through her body.

“Y/n!” Casey yelled as she crawled to y/n. “No, no, no. Y/n. Baby.” She cradled her head in her lap, and tried to find where she had been shot, gasping as she noticed it had been near her heart. “No, no. Baby, you need to stay with me.” Her hand went to y/n’s cheek, trying to get her to look up at Casey. “Alex, I need help!” She screamed desperately as she felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

Alex got on y/n’s side rapidly and pressed on the wound, earning a guttural scream from y/n. “I know, I’m sorry! I need to stop the bleeding.” She looked at Casey and tried to look back to find anyone who could help, when she figured out, they were down, she started yelling. “Someone call 911!”

Casey looked back down at y/n, feeling a knot in her throat and her chest heaving. “Y/n, please stay with me. Please. I need you to stay with me. Help is coming.”

Y/n coughed, blinking rapidly as she tried to keep her eyes on Casey. “C-Case…”

“I’m here, baby. I’m right here.” Casey’s voice broke as she stared down at y/n, stroking her cheek softly. “Keep your eyes open for me.”

“I can’t…” y/n whispered softly. “Hurts.”

“I know it hurts. But you need to stay with me.”

Y/n did everything in her power to smile, her eyes locked on green ones. “I-I love you, Casey…s-so much.”

Casey’s eyes widened as she shook her head. “No. Don’t do that. Don’t you fucking dare do that.”

“M’sorry.” Y/n felt tears rolling down her eyes, trying her best to not close her eyes. “You…you are the l-love of my life.” She smiled softly. “And don’t…don’t say I am too.” She huffed a weak chuckle. “I’m okay with…knowing that I…that you l-loved me.”

Casey nodded. “I love you…so much.” Her voice broke as she spoke, sobbing quietly as she kept stroking her cheek.

Y/n nodded, turning her head to look at Alex. “S-Stop.” She placed her hand on top of Alex’s.

Alex shook her head, trying to keep y/n’s hand away. “What? No! Help is coming! Y/n don’t give up! Stay awake for Casey!”

Y/n smiled weakly, trying not to choke as she started coughing blood. “Alex…t-take care of Casey. P-Please.” She said softly.

Alex looked at Casey for a moment, blue eyes meeting green ones, before she returned her stare to y/n. “Y/n, don’t say that. Don’t-“

“Promise me.” Y/n pleaded as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Alex took a shaky breath before she nodded. “I promise.” She whispered softly, offering a small smile.

“Good…” Y/n smiled weakly before she turned to look at Casey again, finally letting her eyes closed.

Casey shook her head, sobbing loudly. “No! Y/n wake up! Please! Someone help!”

Alex felt tears rolling down her eyes as she stared at y/n. At Casey’s screams, she moved beside Casey and wrapped her arms around her. “Casey…she’s gone.”

Casey sobbed uncontrollably as she held onto y/n but leaned over Alex. She was living in a nightmare…again.

********************

Alex knocked on Casey’s door softly, offering a small smile as she leaned over the doorframe. “Hey.”

Casey looked up at Alex and smiled sadly. “Hi.” She whispered softly, looking back down at her hands. “How did you know I was here?”

“Olivia and Elliot went over your place and didn’t find you there.” Alex shrugged. “You always stayed longer in your office if you needed to. Or I’d find you at the cages.” She grinned a little.

Casey huffed a weak chuckle. “Not really in the mood to go to the cages, but eventually.” She said softly, nibbling on her lip as she tried to hold back her tears. “Y/n always said how she wanted to die as a hero.” She shook her head. “I always told her she was an idiot for saying that. And…she did die as a hero.”

Alex nodded as she sighed, walking inside Casey’s office, and leaning over her desk, looking down at her. “I should’ve paid more attention.”

Casey shook her head. “She would’ve done it for anyone. Don’t blame yourself for that.” She looked up at Alex, offering a small smile. “You tried to help.”

Alex nodded. “You know that…I will…keep my promise, right?”

Casey only stared at Alex, not sure what to say or do. She then looked down at her hands again, fidgeting with her fingers. “I know.”

“I’m gonna be a pain in the ass.” Alex said a little playfully, trying to lighten up the mood even if she knew Casey was heartbroken.

Casey couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on her face. “You were always a pain in the ass.” She looked back at Alex and stared at her for a moment again. “You won’t…leave?”

Alex shook her head. “Liz offered me a spot here. My…old spot.” She smiled. “Well…you’re the main ADA, but…I’m gonna be helping you.”

Casey felt her heart stopping for a moment but couldn’t help the smile on her face. “Good.”

Alex nodded and then stood up, offering her hand. “C’mon.”

Casey furrowed her brows. “What?”

“I’m 100% sure that you haven’t eaten anything.” Alex raised her brow. “So, c’mon.”

Casey sighed softly as she grabbed Alex’s hand. “Your treat?”

“Of course. Anything you want.” Alex smiled softly, squeezing her hand before she dropped it.

“It’s gonna be a big bill then.” Casey grabbed her stuff and followed Alex. She turned to look at her office for a moment and sighed softly before she closed the door.

********************

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late!” Alex yelled as she grabbed her stuff, cursing under her breath as she noticed she now had her hands full of bags and she still needed to put on her coat.

“Alex, it’s 7:15 am. We have time to get there.” Casey chuckled softly as she looked at Alex and grabbed some of the bags she had in hand. “Go get your coat on, nerd.”

Alex furrowed her brows. “How am I a nerd for wanting to leave early?” She scoffed.

Casey shrugged. “Still a nerd.” She grinned as she leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “What is she doing anyway?”

Alex shook her head as she sighed, walking to the stairs as she grabbed her coat. “Harper Grace Cabot! You better get down here or no ice cream after school!”

Casey chuckled as she stood beside Alex, leaning in and kissing her cheek softly. “You know that’s not true, you’ll take her anyway.”

“She’s my little princess, how can I not?” Alex grinned softly, turning her head to the stairs as she heard footsteps.

“Comin’! Comin’!” Harper suddenly jumped and skipped the last two steps, standing right in front of Alex and Casey, smiling softly at them. “Mama, d’you like what mommy did to my hair? I look like a real princess!” She said as she turned to show Alex, showing her soft redhead curls falling perfectly on her shoulders.

Alex chuckled softly as she leaned down to kiss her forehead. “You always look like a princess, babygirl. But specially today! You look beautiful. Mommy did a good job.”

Harper giggled as she nodded, grabbing her coat and then her backpack. “Mommy, I know you say not to go to the closet, but I was lookin’ for my blue dress and I…found this.” She got a picture out of her pocket and handed it to Casey.

Casey took it and her heart dropped as she noticed it was a picture of y/n with Casey, one of the first times they went to the bar with the squad, Olivia had taken the picture. She turned to look at Alex, unsure if it was right or not to talk about y/n. After y/n’s death, Casey felt once again that she had lost herself, but this time, she let everyone around her help her, not letting her sadness take over her like last time. Unsure at first, she let Alex back in her life, the started having a routine again of going out for lunch, spending time in each others' offices just going through their files, and every now and then going for a drink. It wasn’t Alex’s intention to try again with Casey -at least she didn’t want Casey to think that was her purpose- but she wanted to keep her promise to y/n.

After a year or so, they both had finally agreed that they wanted to see where things could go, Casey hesitated a lot, but eventually, she let her heart open one more time, and thankfully…this time, was the right time. Now, seven years later, they had bought a beautiful house, had tried to get pregnant, which at the end, it was decided that Casey would go through the procedure, and had their beautiful baby girl with beautiful red hair and blue eyes. Casey had felt bad and guilty when she had started dating Alex again, but she knew in her heart that it was the right decision. In Casey’s heart, she admitted that she loved y/n endlessly, she had been her lover, her sunshine through the darkness, but she figured out that at the end of the day…Alex had been the love of her life. It took her a while to accept it, but eventually, she came to terms with it.

Alex smiled softly as she looked back at Harper. “She was someone special for mommy. A very special person.” She turned to look at Casey.

Casey smiled softly as she looked at Alex, her whole body warming. She then turned to look at Harper and nodded. “She was part of my life for a few years, and she was someone very special. I keep her close to my heart.”

Harper smiled softly. “I wish I could met her.”

Alex chuckled softly as she knelt down and fixed her coat. “I could have met her. But yes…she was a nice and kind person.”

Casey stared at both of them for a moment, as if she wanted to take a mental picture of this very moment. Y/n would’ve loved her name…she always mentioned that Grace was her favorite name, and Alex was happy to give it to their daughter. Y/n would’ve loved to meet her too. Casey took a deep breath before she put the picture in her briefcase, kneeling down too and wrapping her arms around both Alex and Harper.

“Well, princess. We gotta get to school now. If you want to walk in the park for a bit, we gotta go now.” Casey grinned softly.

“The park! Yes! Lessgo!” Harper ran to the door and opened it, waiting outside and yelling for her moms.

Casey stood up along with Alex, smiling softly at her. “Thank you.”

Alex smiled, wrapping her arm around Casey. “She was someone special. And that’s how she should be remembered.”

Casey nodded softly, leaning in, and kissing her lips softly. “Let’s go.” She said softly as she grabbed Alex’s hand and pulled her to the door, laughing as she saw how excited her daughter was.

Casey thought she could never open her heart to anyone else after what she had gone through in the past, but she was lucky enough to say that she had been loved by a sweet and kind person, and now, she was still being loved by the love of her life. Even if sometimes things don't go the way we want them to, there’s always a chance that things will be for the better.

[pinchofhoney]

Your stories r so cute!!! Just a lil idea if it piques your interest: set between part 1 and part 2 in jackson, joel has a crush on a sweet shy bubbly girl who works as a farmer or in the greenhouses : )

spring is a season when more than just flowers bloom

gif is not mine, credit to the owner

joel miller x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

warning: fluff, fluff, pure FLUFF, life is most beautiful during the first days of spring (with a kitten!!)

summary: Spring brings with it more than just the beauty of blooming flowers. As the sun starts to shine a little brighter, it also has its own way of awakening deeply hidden emotions. The world feels brighter, and everything seems a little bit more beautiful. Especially in the right company.

a/n: hello, anon!!<33 i absolutely loved your idea and hope you'll be satisfied with what's hidden further down the line!

i'll also standardly mention that my inbox stands wide open waiting for more of your ideas with joel, or any other character played by pedro! (and every like and reblog is very much appreciated)

pages that may interest you: masterlist ♡ taglist ♡ who i write for

taglist: @wolfmoonmusic @alexxavicry @babypeapoddd @domaniquessidehoe

The first rays of light began to peek through the curtains of your window, and you could feel the excitement bubbling inside you. You knew that today was going to be a good day, and you were ready to start it off with a smile. You got out of bed and stretched, taking in the sweet and melodious chirping of the birds outside your window. It was the first days of the spring you have so long awaited. The gentle breeze carried the scent of blooming flowers, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for the simple pleasures of life. It was a beautiful morning, and you felt blessed to be alive to witness it.

Jackson had been your home for three years now, and it was a place that held a special place in your heart. You had stumbled upon the settlement when you were traveling alone, fighting to survive in a world overrun by infected. But when you arrived, you knew that you had finally found your new home and your people. The settlement was small, but tight-knit, and you felt a sense of belonging that you had not experienced in a long time. The community had welcomed you with open arms, and it wasn't long before you had found your place among them.

Despite the dangers that lurked outside the safety of the settlement, you refused to let fear and despair take hold of you. Your bubbly and sweet nature had won the hearts of people, and your infectious positivity had become a glimmer of hope for everyone around you, instilling them with the strength to carry on. Your infectious positivity spread like wildfire, warming the hearts of people and reminding them that even in the darkest of times, there was always a reason to smile.

The outside world was a dark and unforgiving place, ravaged by the Cordyceps brain infection that had left only a fraction of humanity standing. You felt like you could hear the distant sounds of infected roaming in the wilds beyond the walls every day, which was a constant reminder that the safety of the settlement was a fragile thing.

But despite these challenges, you believed that there was always something to be grateful for. Whether it was the warm rays of the sun on your face or the simple pleasure of a home-cooked meal, you knew that the small things in life were what made it all worthwhile.

In Jackson you had been entrusted with the care of the greenhouses. From an early age, you had been surrounded by the beauty of nature, thanks to your mother, who was a florist herself. She had instilled in you a love for all things green and growing, and you had spent countless hours by her side, learning the art of nurturing and caring for plants.

Every day the houses of hundreds of plants welcomed you with open arms. You could feel the warm, humid air wrap around you, enveloping you in a cozy embrace as you stepped inside. The space was bursting with life, with lush greenery and vibrant blooms stretching up towards the ceiling. It was your responsibility to tend to these plants, to ensure that they flourished and thrived under your care. And you took that responsibility very seriously.

As you donned your gloves and apron, you felt a sense of purpose and dedication wash over you. You knew that the work you did here was important, not just for the plants, but for the community as a whole. Each day, you would make your way down the rows of plants, checking on each one carefully. You looked for signs of growth, of health, of disease. And when you found something that needed attention, you would carefully tend to it, pruning and watering and adjusting the lighting as needed.

It was hard work, there was no denying that. Your back would ache from bending over the plants for hours on end, and your hands would be raw from the constant labor. But despite the physical toll it took on you, you loved every minute of it.

The greenhouse was more than just a place to work for you; it was a sanctuary. It provided an escape from the harsh realities of the world outside, a place where you could lose yourself in the beauty and tranquility of nature.

The plants seemed to breathe life into the space around you, filling the air with their sweet, earthy scent. The rustling of their leaves and the buzzing of the bees created a symphony that surrounded you, and as you sang softly to yourself, your voice blending seamlessly with the sounds of nature, you felt truly alive. In this moment, there was nothing else but the beauty of the world around you.

You were not naive. You knew that outside the Jackson's protective walls, danger and uncertainty loomed. You knew that the world was still a dangerous place, and that there were no guarantees of safety or security, but for a brief moment, you let go of the fear and focused on the present moment, finding solace in the simple pleasures of life.

You chose to see the good in everything around you, finding comfort in the beauty of nature and the kindness of your fellow friends. Each smile, kind word, or small gesture brought warmth to your heart and hope to your soul. Every day, you woke up with a sense of gratitude. You were grateful for the opportunity to work in such a beautiful place, and to be surrounded by such incredible life. You were grateful for every moment of happiness, no matter how small. As you tended to the plants, you took pride in the fact that you were providing food for the community of the settlement. It gave you a sense of purpose and fulfillment that few other things could match. You knew that your hard work and dedication made a difference, and that was enough to keep you going, even in the face of adversity.

In the midst of a world filled with chaos, you never thought you would find love. Every day brought new challenges and obstacles that made you question what the future held. But, there was a moment when you felt as though fate had other plans for you. It was a feeling that you couldn't shake, and despite your initial skepticism, you began to embrace the warmth that spread throughout your chest.

At first, you tried to ignore it, believing that it was just a passing fancy. You had seen so many relationships crumble under the weight of life's challenges, especially now, that you were hesitant to even consider the possibility of love. But, the feeling persisted, and you found yourself daydreaming about a future with someone who could stand by your side through thick and thin.

And that’s when you met Joel Miller.

When he first arrived in Jackson there was still snow all around and the temperatures outside left much to be desired. That didn't mean, that you didn't have things to do in your greenhouses. Working with plants, you had your hands full at any time of the year, because taking care of them, doesn't end with planting them at the right time. Despite the misconception that winter meant less work, you were always busy. You had lost too many important people in your life, and you were determined not to lose the plants that were dependent on you. So, you made sure to take all the necessary measures to ensure their survival, even in the harshest of weather.

The first time you encountered Miller was when you were moving heavy boxes of frozen soil into the greenhouse. As you stood near the building with one of them in your arms, you couldn't help but feel a little intimidated by Joel. He was tall and broad-shouldered, with a serious expression on his face that made him seem unapproachable. His hair was disheveled by the wind, and there were lines etched around his eyes that suggested he didn't smile very often.

You immediately noticed how different he was from you. While you were outgoing and sociable with a smile that could light up a room, he seemed to be the complete opposite. Joel seemed to be reserved and kept to himself most of the time, rarely initiating conversations with others. Additionally, he appeared to be in a grumpy mood, which only added to his aloof attitude. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, and he looked like he would rather be anywhere else but there, dealing with the freezing cold boxes.

Despite this less-than-stellar first impression, you made a conscious effort not to jump to conclusions about him. You knew that you couldn't judge someone based on a single interaction. As someone who didn't believe in judging a book by its cover, you knew from experience that there was always more to a person than met the eye. Perhaps he was going through a tough time or simply needed some time to warm up to new people.

Looking back, you were glad you gave Joel a chance. After he returned to Jackson from his journey with Ellie, he began to seek out your company. Despite his initial impression of seeming to dislike you, it was clear that he appreciated having you in his life. He kept popping in your greenhouses whenever he had a chance, and it was always a pleasure to have him around. In fact, you got the feeling that he liked being around you even more than you enjoyed having him around yourself. It was as though he found comfort in your presence, and you were happy to be a source of that comfort for him.

And today was no different. You were lost in your own world, consumed by the task of tending to the lush greenery around you. Your fingers delicately plucked at old leaves and removed the weeds that threatened to smother the life out of your beloved plants. You knelt amidst the shrubbery, surrounded by a cacophony of sounds – he rustling of leaves, the gentle dripping of nearby water, and the distant hum of people.

Suddenly, a familiar voice broke your reverie, pulling you back to reality. It was Joel's voice, and it was the sweetest sound you'd like to hear all day. You lifted your head and peered through the thick foliage towards the entrance of the greenhouse. Your heart swelled with joy as you saw Joel approaching, his steady gait bringing him closer to you.

“Y/N?” Joel called out again, his voice jolting you back to the present. You got up, brushing the dirt off your knees and discarding your gloves. You stepped out of the shrubs and onto the path between the plant beds, a smile spreading across your lips. Joel smiled too. “Hey there, how’s my favorite plant lady doing today?” he asked, his voice warm and friendly.

You chuckled, feeling the corners of your eyes crinkle with amusement. “Hi, Joel,” you replied, making your way towards him. “You won't believe it, but absolutely nothing has changed since yesterday,” you joked, happy to see someone you cared for. You couldn't help but notice that Joel was holding one of his hands behind his back, but you didn't pay it much attention.

“How about you?” you asked, eager to know what he had been up to.

“You haven't heard yet, have you?” Joel teased, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Heard of what?” you queried, your brow furrowing slightly. You tossed the gloves aside and pushed back a stray strand of hair that had escaped your bun while you were engrossed in your work.

Joel watched you closely, his hand still concealed. Then, with a flourish, he brought his hand forward, revealing a tiny ball of fur. You gasped in delight as you saw the adorable kitten nestled in Joel's palm.

The world around you faded away as you focused solely on the little being. You took the kitten from Joel's hands, and it let out a soft meow as you held it close. Tears of joy filled your eyes as you looked down at the furry creature in your arms.

“Where did you get it?” you asked, your voice hushed and filled with wonder.

“He came to the gate this morning,” Joel explained. “Not sure where he came from. They sent a few people to check the immediate area, maybe there are more.”

You looked up at Joel and saw a side of him that you'd never seen before. His features were relaxed and his expression was serene, a gentle smile playing at the corners of his lips as he watched you cradle the kitten in your arms. He seemed at peace, and it filled you with a sense of contentment.

You held the kitten closer to your chest, feeling its warmth seep into your body. It was a tiny creature, but it had brought so much happiness into your life in that one moment.

As you and Joel walked out of the greenhouse, he suddenly brought up a detail from one of your earlier conversations. “If I remember correctly, you mentioned having a cat when you were young, didn’t you?” he asked, catching you off guard.

You were taken aback that he remembered such a seemingly insignificant detail, especially since you had been doing most of the talking during your time together in the greenhouse. However, Joel had always been a great listener, making you feel heard and understood. You had found yourself opening up more than usual and sharing stories about your life before the Cordyceps outbreak. Despite the apparently one-sided nature of your conversations, Joel had been paying closer attention than you thought. “Did you really remember that?” you asked in surprise.

Joel chuckled. “Of course I did. You told me all about it.”

“Its name was Aster,” you added, recalling your beloved childhood pet fondly.

Joel looked at you with a curious expression. “Why did you choose that name? Have I asked you before?” he inquired. You couldn’t resist sitting down on a nearby bench, the warmth of the spring sun comforting against your skin. The little ball of fur that Joel had brought along, against your wishes, immediately made its way over him, curious about the zipper on his jacket.

“My mother picked that name,” you explained, watching the kitten, which looked even tinier next to the man. “It’s actually related to flowers,” you said cheerfully, attracting Joel's attention. You knew he wasn't familiar with plants, but you loved sharing your knowledge with him and he loved listening to everything you had to say.

Joel looked intrigued. “How so?” he asked.

“My mother's favorite flowers have always been asters,” you continued. “Each plant has its own meaning, these have one too,” you explained. “Asters symbolize patience and love. When you adopt a cat, you usually need some patience for those sweet eyes,” you said, reaching out to pet the kitten, which had now curled up against Joel's thigh and was purring contentedly.

You couldn't help but laugh softly as you added, “And besides, my mom found it in the garden, near the asters.” You realized that the actual reason for the name was probably not as deep as you had made it out to be.

To your surprise, Joel's deep, quiet chuckle filled the air in response. “And what is your favorite kind of flower?” he asked, his curiosity piqued.

You thought for a moment before answering, “I've always had a soft spot for daisies. We used to have them all over our front lawn when I was a kid,” you said, looking ahead at the people bustling about in the streets of the settlement in the distance. A gentle breeze swept over your face, and you closed your eyes, a soft smile spreading across your lips. “I haven't seen them in a long time,” you admitted in a hushed tone, your voice tinged with a hint of sadness.

Joel's expression softened as he gazed at you, taking in the wistful look on your face. “I'll have to keep an eye out for them on our next supply run,” he said, his tone warm and reassuring.

You opened your eyes and looked at him gratefully. “That would be nice,” you said, feeling a little lighter at the thought of seeing daisies again.

Joel's eyes lingered on the sleeping kitten before turning to you. His question was simple, yet there was a meaningful glint in his gaze. “Do you still have a lot of plant work to do?” he asked.

You looked down at the tiny ball of fur and replied, “Not really, why?”

“We need to show the little one his new home,” he said, his words laced with emotion as he watched the kitten.

You suddenly felt like a little girl again, as though you had just received the pet of your dreams from your parents. “Do you mean my house?” you asked, excitement bubbling up inside you.

Joel's response was filled with praise. “I think you are the best person this kitten could have come across,” he said, watching as a smile spread across your face. “The others will agree with me, you know it well.”

“Really?” you asked, holding your hands close to your chest in anticipation of his response. When he nodded confirmatively, without a moment's hesitation, you threw your arms around Joel, wrap him in a tight hug. You were careful not to awaken the sleeping kitten with your sudden burst of energy.

It was the first time you had hugged him, the first time you had invaded his personal space. Your love language was touch, and hugs were very familiar to you and close to your heart. However, Joel was frozen in place, unsure of how to react to the physical contact, which made you realize that he had a different nature than you.

Joel had forgotten what it felt like to be hugged. Years had passed since anyone had embraced him, and he had become accustomed to loneliness. The unexpected warmth of your hug caught him off guard, and at first, he stiffened. But as you held him, Joel felt a long-forgotten sensation begin to spread through his body. It was like a memory coming back to life.

You moved away from him awkwardly, afraid to lift your gaze to his face. You didn't know what kind of reaction to expect. “Um,” you stuttered, clearing your throat. “Sorry,” you said more quietly. Only after a moment filled with nothing but the noise of the nature that surrounded you, you decided to look at Joel's face.

He looked at you with surprise, his eyes wandering over your face while his gray hair was blown away by the gentle breeze. He hadn't realized how much he had missed this kind of physical contact until now. Finally, he let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. “You should name him Cuddle,” he said with a hint of amusement in his voice, referring to the kitten.

Then, Joel put his arm around you, pulling you close to him. You felt a wave of warmth wash over you, and you leaned into him, savoring the comforting embrace. It was a moment you would never forget, the first time you had hugged Joel Miller, the man who had given you the perfect gift.

[vernons-girl]

Hi hii, i'm here to request another comfort Jun fic. He deserves more fics written about him he's such a healing soul :(( maybe something about Jun being down or insecure and reader just comforting him? Honestly you can choose plot just put some heavy angst and hurt/comfort into it please. You're amazing, keep writing <33

( also i might be a regular anon so is it okay if i be your 🥯 anon )

a glimmer of hope | wen junhui

angst,hurt to comfort,w.c:0.4k a/n: thank you for your request, this is really short i'm sorry :( but i hope you'll like it!! and ofc you can be my🥯 anon! this is so cute kfjvdkjvj (you're my first anon omg)

Jun sat on the edge of your shared bed, his head bowed and his hands clasped tightly together. The weight of insecurity bore down on his shoulders like a heavy burden, pressing him deeper into the abyss of self-doubt. His thoughts were a whirlwind of negativity, each one a sharp blade tearing away at his fragile confidence.

He had always struggled with feeling inadequate, never quite measuring up to the expectations he imagined others had of him. No matter how hard he tried, it seemed like he was always falling short, always disappointing those around him. His mind echoed with voices of criticism, both real and imagined, each one chipping away at his sense of self-worth.

In the dimly lit room, he felt utterly alone, suffocated by the darkness that seemed to seep into every corner of his being. He longed for someone to understand, someone to reach out and pull him from the depths of his despair.

And then you appeared, he suddenly saw light in the darkness, was it the light from the living room or your presence ? It didn't matter to him, because you were here.

Sensing something was off, you approached him cautiously, your steps soft against the floorboards as you made your way to his side. Gently, you reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, offering him a silent gesture of support.

Jun flinched at your touch, his muscles tensing beneath your gentle grip. He felt unworthy of your kindness, undeserving of your compassion. But still, he couldn't bring himself to push youaway.

"What's wrong, Jun?" you asked softly.

He hesitated, the words catching in his throat like shards of glass. How could he possibly articulate the storm raging inside him, the crippling fear that threatened to consume him whole?

"I... I just feel like I'm not good enough," he finally admitted, his voice barely a whisper.

Your heart ached at the raw vulnerability in his words, the pain etched into every syllable. You knelt beside him, your eyes meeting his with a depth of understanding that spoke volumes.

"You are more than enough, Jun," you said firmly, voice tinged with conviction. "You are strong, and capable, and worthy of love and acceptance. Don't let anyone, not even yourself, convince you otherwise." you declared.

Tears welled up in Jun's eyes, his defenses crumbling in the face of your unwavering support. He leaned into your touch, seeking solace in the warmth of your embrace.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he allowed himself to believe your words, to believe that maybe, just maybe, he was deserving of happiness after all.

And in that fleeting moment of vulnerability, surrounded by the darkness and the pain, he found a glimmer of hope—a fragment of strength to carry him through the darkest of nights : you.

[peaceoutofthepieces]

hi!! it's the kevjean anon again. i have to say that i looove the way you write them and also i'm STARVING from the lack of kevjean content lately so i'd like to request one more thing if that's ok :) now this may be more challenging but would you consider writing these two with 5 (romantic kiss) from the kiss prompts? i'm fully aware that they probably could never have a healthy relationship in canon after everything, but i'm delusional and i love them and i also need to see them heal together :( once again thank you and have a wonderful day!

i thought we might want a kiss, but was unsure for the last prompt, so thank you for entrusting me and coming back!

i have always been a jerejean truther at heart on the romance front, but i see the vision. and just for you dear anon, i'll do my best

5. Romantic (Tender) Kiss

Jean is no stranger to darkness. The Nest had taught him why the darkness is to be feared, but that it cannot be ignored—only endured. It's impossible to avoid entirely, so one does what one can to survive it. Most will seek out a source of light, and cling to it. The scariest nights, after all, are those without stars.

Jean had known, from the beginning, that Kevin Day was always supposed to be a star. The number on his cheek meant nothing. In Jean's eyes, as in so many others, Kevin outshone all his surroundings. Even in the darkest hour, his light remained, a twinkling spark, indestructible and guiding. Darkness followed Jean like a shadow, covered him like a blanket, and should have swallowed him whole and snuffed him out long ago.

But the brightest star had shone its light on him, and he had endured.

But a star was not meant to be touched; a star could not belong to a person. It followed its own trajectory, and it burned if it came too close. Stars only shone from afar, and were only meant to be admired as such. Jean should have known he could not hold onto one for long.

Still, no one could ignore the sudden absence of a light in the sky. Anyone would feel its effects, and would shrink under the growing darkness.

This is what Jean told himself; this is how Jean endured.

At first, he felt robbed. Surely, a star that had been snuffed out would be easier to hold onto. Then, he felt comforted, to see that Kevin had not been—that he shone as brightly as ever, if not brighter. He had been made all the more untouchable, and then, Jean found acceptance. A star never shone for only one person; like everything else in the universe, it drifted.

But like everything else in the universe, stars eventually cycle back to where they began.

Jean had not expected his star to return, but it does.

And slowly, light flickers back into Jean's life.

Slowly, Kevin comes back around, and when the distance between them closes again, Jean burns anew.

This time, he does not have to worry about holding on; Kevin takes hold of him, and brings Jean into his orbit himself.

Now, in the dark, light draws closer to Jean than ever, and he can not bring himself to feel afraid.

Kevin's weight next to his is a comfort—another thing Jean did not expect, but does not wish to question. He takes what he is given greedily, without resistance, as if he himself is the darkness, endless and endlessly waiting for a flicker of light to give him some spark of life. And what better to light him up than this star, endlessly shining?

"What are you thinking of?" Kevin asks him, in gentle, perfect French, his gentle, perfect touch lighting on Jean's temple.

"You," Jean answers, truthful and unashamed, "as always."

Once, that might have made Kevin worry; once, that would have held the beginnings of a fight, the spark all in Jean's tone, ready to blow them to pieces once set alight. Now, it holds nothing but contentment, and a faint flicker of surprise at the feeling that Jean doubts will ever leave him.

Now, Kevin smiles, a gleam of light in the night. Jean arches towards it like a bud eager to bloom. Kevin's fingers slip from his temple into his hair, tracing lines of fire along Jean's scalp. The heat draws Jean in. He presses close, using the arm already wound around Kevin's waist as leverage, to slip a leg between Kevin's and press his face to Kevin's neck. His lips brush Kevin's skin, and Kevin's hand tightens in his hair. Only when Kevin makes a soft, encouraging noise does Jean allow himself to kiss him there, careful and tender. Kevin's throat works under his lips, and Jean draws back, his chest tight.

Kevin senses the darkness encroaching and adjusts accordingly, diminishing it before it can take hold. He cups Jean's face in his hand and brings him back into the safety of his molecular cloud, the two of them in their own orbit. Their breaths mingle, and the taste of air loosens Jean's chest before Kevin kisses him.

Kevin's lips are soft, and Jean has grown used to the way they move. He has learned the shape of them, all their curves and contours.

He is still adjusting to how light it makes him feel.

It is in moments like this that Jean wonders if he has always underestimated Kevin. Kevin, when he kisses him, feels much more powerful than a star. He is the God that created them to begin with; he is admired in the form of worship, and Jean's are the prayers he has chosen to answer.

"You," Jean murmurs again, nonsensical to anyone but himself, but the only answer he has.

send me a number + ship

[bleaksqueak]

Okay! I said I'd do a quick little tut for the chromatic aberration effect to the anon who asked, so here you go. Above is the raw panel, so from here, you'll be duplicating the canvas/panel by choosing "Copy Canvas" from the wrench button. Once copied, paste it into your folder and select the layer options to turn on Clipping Mask to your base panel. If doing the whole canvas, you can just paste as-is

I prefer to duplicate it once in preparation and then again each time I make a change, that way the effect can be toggled on /off or have its opacity lowered to mix with a previous effect if needed. From there, select the magic wand/effects and adjustments menu and click on Add Noise. Important: Pretend I took a screenshot of the drop-down menu, because rats must keep up appearances.

I prefer clouds with maximum octaves and low-no turbulence at a fine scale... however, play with the options and find one you like (or don't use it at all! I like the grain for a mild texture and for harmonizing the art's elements, especially on quick panels or rougher drawings.) I'm going at about 5% here. Just enough to give the desired effect, but not too much.

Once it's to your liking, duplicate your canvas/layer and select your new layer to work off of. On the magic wand menu again, select Chromatic Aberration.

We're working with the displace method, so select that instead of Perspective.

In procreate, the tool works by shifting your cursor in the direction you prefer at the distance you want. I never travel far, and I often use the warm/cold to play off of a reverse of my light source colors. I do that just to create a softened edge and a subtle color pop. Just like with the added noise, I keep the effect on a more subtle side often. Blurring at around 5 - 12 % will give your lines a soft glow and get rid of any (say, hideous pencil lines that you use as inks because you hate inking. Not that I do that. Not me.) Transparency can be bumped up or left alone, does what it says on the tin and strengthens the effect or subdues it.

Now, you might find some important detail is now too hazy? Too blurry? Too CHROMBERRATED? If so, gently erase what you want to be crisp. For Maia here, I just erased the front hair curls and her eyelashes.

Keep it or erase it, it's up to you. Play around and see what you like. Now, once all is said and done, and you like the effect, adding a few specular pops of light on a new layer can aid with bringing back in some focal points. Eye color, rim lighting, or just a couple of little metallic flecks. I use the light pen tool for this when feeling lazy, but you can use any brush you like, either on a raw Normal layer or on any of the light adjugement style layers. I chose a pale green to compliment the warm, red hues and balance the bluish shadow in her hair. Just a tiny little speck on her glasses, lips and on the rim light of her nose just to keep the anchor points of her face clear. Don't over do it (unless you want to, in that case, by all means, the light is yours to command.)

And that's the final. Hidden in the darkest shadows of voidcraft, I applied a textured brush to my canvas on Overlay because I do that for every comic page. Except for those that I forget, may their tears one day dry.

I hope that helps! The effect is subtle on this panel, but the desired effect to soften and marry the art, thus fooling the viewer's eye into thinking I super meticulously rendered this with careful prim and polish, is achieved! Hooray!

[respectthepetty]

Question. I have never heard of you’re my sky. And now I have added to my list because of your post. I have found that the Most popular BLs are not normally the Beat BLs according to regular fan base so……. Because I have not heard of this one I am in hopes it’s going to be a good one?? 👀

Anon, please do not trust my recommendations because I have trash taste, but as an American, I tend to like sports-themed stories. Give me a plot about an underdog in the sports world coming up against the big bad rich multiple-time winning team, and I will love the shit out of it! I will eat up media like The Mighty Ducks, Friday Night Lights ("clear eyes, full heart, can't lose"), and One Tree Hill ("I DON'T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELY") because I want to root for the little guy. I didn't watch Creed and Bring It On just for the color coding.

So understand this is a BIG reason I love You're My Sky. At the center of it is a story about a dark horse (or more like a Red Rascal) who not only brings life back into his school's basketball program but also into every single person who gets involved with it. The coach, the players (FLUKE!), and his love interest all get a second shot (pun intended) at fulfilling their dreams.

Oh, and the antagonist? Perfect! People HATED the 11th episode because it had a time jump and flipped the script on our little long shot, but it brought a new layer to our despised coach who had been the enemy for the last ten episodes, AND it made sense why the lead would act the way he did, mostly to people who have played a competitive sport on a level of this nature. It's a different beast, mentally and physically, and changes people.

In addition, people lost. One of the reasons people liked My School President was because of the seriousness of the competition which was the underlying thread throughout the series, but also that the possibility of losing was very real. In You're My Sky, competition is treated the same. The team won't win simply because they want to or the narrative proclaims it. No. The actors look like they can actually play basketball, the strategies make sense, and the fear that loss can and will happen is always present. Not just in basketball, but in track, in soccer, and most importantly, in love.

I haven't even mentioned the love parts! But know that those are good too. We have childhood friends-to-lovers, a younger boy chasing an older one, and pseudo-enemies-to-lovers but one is dating the other's sister. I don't care what anyone says about the leads or the sister's boyfriend plot. They did their jobs and EPISODE SIX SUPREMACY!

The show demonstrates that no man is an island regardless of the endeavor. In order to achieve greatness, we must work with others. People will let us down, but we have to support others in order to receive support, and we need to help the people we love even in their darkest times, especially when they feel unworthy of it.

This series is a top for me, so even though some people disliked it, I hope it makes you "CHEER! CHEER!"

Let me know how you feel once and if you finish.

[ley-med]

Hey Ley,

You don’t know me, but I have been a follower of yours for a long time now. I just graduated with my undergraduate degree as a premed student, but I will be taking a gap year to really punch up my experience. I am in a bit of a pickle, and I was wondering if someone further along in the journey may be able to shed some light. You are more than welcome to pass on this if you do not feel equipped to give advice. In short, what should I do if I am having trouble answering why I want to go into medicine? This is admittedly a silly question, but it is something I have been in a bit of a tailspin about since graduating. Before then, I was SO steadfast about it. My undergrad major is unconventional, but it does back up a lot of anatomy and physiology concepts. Since I was a kid, I’ve yearned for this. I have never felt as satisfied as I have being challenged and pushed to learn when it came to medicine. Doubly so when it came to helping people. But when I look at how much left I have to go, and how overwhelming the system feels, I falter.  

My major exposed me to a lot of great work and folks who do amazing things for others, and as much as I loved doing it, I feel irreconcilably split. For so long I had engaged myself to medicine as my future, and it felt earth shattering to realize I could find that passion somewhere else. I still want to become a physician, but I am having a harder and harder time justifying this.

Regards, Anon

Hi Anon!

First of all, ask yourself if you might need a break. You finished a degree, you are tired, let yourself rest a bit and celebrate your accomplishments! You don't have to figure out everything immediately. Enjoy your year a bit :) And congratulations on your degree!

Now, this is a good question. It's only my personal opinion, but if you do medicine just because you've always wanted to do medicine, and can't imagine yourself being happy any other way, I'm pretty sure it would break you. Because when the inevitable hard times come, during med school, or residency, or later, you would stand feeling miserable, and think if this is my happy then what's the point of it all. And that's how miserable and depressed doctors are made...

When I decided to apply for med school, my wonderful mother asked me the same question, why medicine? Easy, I want to help people. Then she said, "okay, fair, but there are several ways to do that. I am a psychologist, I help people. A hairdresser helps people day after day. Why medicine?"

I didn't always used to, but I have an answer now, and that's because I tried to find happiness in the little things. Reading and trying to memorize a genetics textbook with bleary eyes, exhausted from the previously failed exam, while pinterest randomly shows "remember why you started" quotes in your face, really makes you think if it's worth it at all...

I freaking love the human body, science, and knowing the whys of how the body works. The fact that I also get to "play" with it, see the many ways I can affect the body's functions, makes medicine a heaven for me. And yes, I also love bringing people comfort in their darkest hours and easing their pain, and keeping them alive when their body would give up otherwise.

All that said, medicine is great, but in the end, it's a job just like any other job. I do it because I love my job, for now, but I think I would also love owningworking in a bakery, or becoming a biologist (marine biology my beloved I will never entirely give you up). Life is ever changing and that's the beauty of it, no career is set in stone.

What I'm trying to say is, keep thinking about it, and don't think big, just small aspects you enjoy to do. Then take a step away from it, and let it simmer, then think about it once again. Then take away the part where you help people, what's left? If you can, ask other graduated doctors too, how's their job, what do they like about it, so you can decide more fairly for yourself.

And if you realise you don't have any reason, apart from "this used to be my dream", you don't have to. It's not an obligation, don't push yourself into something you will not enjoy, because honestly, the work hours aren't that great...

Once you have an answer though, don't let the long road ahead of you, or the failures of the system stop you. The system is faulty, severely, but so are other systems (and with meticulous and slow work, we can also work on changing it). Med school and residency are hard and long, but every career has its learning curve, before you become an expert (and if I already admitted using Pinterest in my early medschool days, let me add, "the time will pass anyway") and let me be honest, I love residency and learning the things that matter

[derangedanomaly]

my shy ass debating on whether to rp at all bc it looks fun but AAAA INTERACTING SO MUCH /lh

but while i think on it, i’m going to throw more slightly (very) self indulgent nightmare x reader at you like a kid throwing snowballs at a friend in the winter! yugioh anon btw >w<

tw: mentions of violent home life!! nightmare of said events! nightmare himself comforting you bout it in his strange ways! comfort basically i’m sucker for it

A cacophony of screeches to coherent curses. A megaphone to your thoughts, blasting hysteric words that cause you to slam your hands over your ears. It somehow strengthens what you hear while giving it a muffled tone. Pillows and blankets yield the same result. There will be no quiet until you escape. Until you can sprint far past the place you stay and find a home. You’re still huddled around your blankets, shaking but tears refuse to fall. Not even your body will let you release your stress.

One scream of alarm leaves your mouth as a that horrible door flings shut with a bang. Still in a bed, your eyes begin adjusting to the darkness. It’s a bed, yes, but not your childhood one. A relieved sigh escapes your trembling lips. Your voice wavers as it cracks and whines while you start sobbing into your hands. Light fills the room as your door creaks open, but you can’t lift your head to see what opened it. A part of you fears it’ll be them. The other part is too exhausted to confront anything, only able to experience the physical strain of your mental torment.

Goop. What touches your shoulder feels goopy but it doesn’t ooze down your arm. The texture is much too consistent to pull off. As you’re gasping for air through your neverending stream of tears, it rubs circles onto your shoulder. Your former weariness escalates into a need to fall back against the pillows as you did before your memories resurfaced. Curiousity keeps your eyes open as you look up to see Nightmare frowning at you. His eye shows sorrowful understanding as he stills his tentacle.

Clearing your throat and rubbing your eyes, you mumble, “You know, don’t you. Why I yelled like that, I mean.”

“I’m aware of your suffering. Even before your call, I felt a great gain in negativity. No other allows me to feed upon that amount of dread. Many force it down to hide it, though they’re aware how observant I am.” He admits, finally pulling back the slimy tentacle.

“But what reason was there to comfort me? Negative feelings help you, right?” You ask, thoughts stuck on how it’d only burden him to make you feel better. His expression becomes stern as he squints at you.

“Despite what most will tell you, I’m not so beastly I let someone who does me no wrong relive trauma. Your past cannot be mended, but you are not there anymore. No one will ever be given the chance to inflict that agony onto you again. Your discomfort is no weight I cannot handle. As you already seem to have gathered, I benefit from it. Neither of us lose when I extend a hand to your troubled self.”

Tears prick your eyes again as verbal confirmation that he’d protect you lowers your guard once more. You wrap your arms around him and feel him tense up. Time passes as you cry into his chest, mumbling about your hardships. He brings a hand to your back and squeezes you against him for a moment, then both of you pull back. A tired, but genuine, smile creeps across your face as you thank him. He nods, but you don’t miss the teal coloration spreading over his face. You don’t tease him about it, instead choosing to cuddle up to a pillow and fall back into your restful state with the new knowledge that you had someone to reach for you when you relive your darkest times.

YUGIOH ANON PULLED UP 😍

ATTENTION EVERYBODY! GO READ THIS RN!!

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member was saved by her sisters

A/N: I got an ask on Tumblr and I loved writing it, ty for this idea anon! :D

The request: HEY! i found your writing is Phenomenal!! Sorry if you don't understand it!! English is not my language!! I like to request where the reader was a depression and has tried su!c!d3 before but stopped because of twice without them knowing!! Thank you!!

PS: Tysm for everyone that reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

Y/N had always felt like an outsider. Growing up, she struggled with her own demons, battling a darkness that seemed to consume her from within. The weight of her depression was suffocating, and she often found herself teetering on the edge of despair. As a young girl, she had dreams of becoming a singer. Music was her escape, a way to momentarily drown out the noise in her head. She poured her heart and soul into her performances, seeking solace in the melodies she created. But behind the smiles and applause, the pain still lingered. One fateful day, while the girl was at her lowest, she made a decision that would change her life forever. Consumed by desperation and a sense of hopelessness, she attempted to take her own life. At that moment, as she stood on the precipice of darkness, something inside her shifted.

Just as Y/N was about to give in to the void, a song came on the radio. It was a catchy tune, filled with bright, uplifting melodies. The lyrics spoke of strength and resilience, reminding this temporarily lost soul that even in her darkest moments, she was not alone. It was a song by TWICE, a K-pop girl group she had admired from afar. In that instant, Y/N made a promise to herself. She vowed to fight, to keep going, and to one day stand on that stage, sharing her own story with the world. She clung to the music, finding solace and inspiration in TWICE's songs. They became her lifeline, her guiding light in the darkness. Years passed, and her love for music grew stronger. She dedicated herself to honing her skills, attending auditions and tirelessly practising. And then, one day, her phone rang. It was a call from JYP Entertainment, one of the biggest entertainment companies in South Korea (I'd die if I received a call from JYP~).

Y/N's heart raced as she listened to the voice on the other end of the line. She had been selected to join a new girl group. It was an opportunity of a lifetime, a chance to make her dreams come true. But with the excitement came a surge of fear and doubt. Would she be able to handle the pressures of being an idol? Could she face the world with a smile while still battling her inner demons? She had to take a deep breath, steeling herself for the challenges that lay ahead. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she was set on giving it her all. She joined TWICE as the youngest member of the group. To her new bandmates, she was just a bright-eyed girl with dreams in her eyes. They had no idea of the battles she had fought in the shadows. As the days turned into weeks, the maknae found herself surrounded by a group of supportive and caring individuals. TWICE became her second family, her pillars of strength. They laughed together, cried together, and shared their hopes and fears. That made TWICE's honey feel a sense of belonging she had never experienced before.

However, the darkness lingered. There were days when Y/N felt overwhelmed when the weight of her past threatened to consume her once again. But every time she felt herself slipping, TWICE was there to catch her. They held her hand through the storm, their love and support anchoring her in the present. Gradually, TWICE's angel confidence began to grow. She embraced her role as the maknae of the group, bringing joy and energy to their performances. With every step she took on stage, she converted her pain into passion, pouring her heart out in every note. One day, as TWICE prepared for a comeback, the youngest found herself sitting in a quiet corner of the practice room. The memories of her past weighed heavily on her shoulders, threatening to pull her back into the abyss. Tears streamed down her face as she battled the demons that still haunted her. But then, the door swung open, and one by one, the members of TWICE filed in. They noticed their little sister's distress, their eyes filled with concern. Without a word, they gathered around her, enveloping her in a warm embrace. At that moment, Y/N realized that she was not alone. She had a support system, a group of friends who loved her unconditionally.

Together, they wiped away her tears and reaffirmed their unwavering support. Y/N shared her story, the pain and darkness that had threatened to consume her. And as she spoke, TWICE listened, their hearts breaking for the girl they had come to love. From that day forward, she vowed to be open about her struggles. She became a supporter of mental health programs, using her power as an idol to spread awareness and support those who were fighting their own battles. TWICE stood by her side, using their influence to make a difference in the lives of their fans. Y/N's journey was far from over, but she had found a lifeline in TWICE. They had unknowingly saved her life, giving her the strength to keep going, to fight for a brighter future. And together, they stood as a testament to the power of friendship, love, and the healing magic of music. And every time TWICE looked at their champion, (as they started calling her after that heart-to-heart talk) they could only have one thought:

We are proud of our dear maknae.

A/N: I apologise for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

[this-daydream-is-dangerous-13]

All this time I thought that this:

https://twitter.com/iamnearlyhome/status/1689368895906316288?t=JGvx5Hs5UYlEcBoodgT1zA&s=19

Was referring to/ or related to something about a bridge and zvzc = zero voltage, zero current. But what would 'oh' mean then? It doesn't make much sense.

However now that you mentioned the greek word 'nostos' (νόστος) and its meaning (I speak Greek and I've studied Ancient Greek in school, how come I never realized it idk lol) it makes a lot more sense. Nost + oh = Nostoh, but the 'h' would be silent so the word ends up being 'Nosto'.

You were right about the meaning of the word. I Googled the origin of the word in Greek, so here's a bit more info about it: it comes from the verb 'νέομαι' (pronounced: neome) which means 《I return》, 《I'm returning to my homeland》. From the word 'νόστος' (nostos) also come the word 'νόστιμος' (pronounced: nostimos) (meaning: delicious) and the word 'νοσταλγία' (pronounced: nostalgia) (meaning: nostalgia, homesickness), which means the mental pain ('άλγος' (algos) = pain) that is birthed from expectations, the desire/yearning/ craving/ longing to return to your homeland. The one who was alienated dreams of the journey of his return home (this journey is called 'nostos' of course, and as you mentioned it's the theme in the Odyssey. Here it's explained a bit how the word ties in Ancient Greek: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostos). And at last, at a certain moment comes the blessed day of that return home which is referred to as 'νόστιμον ήμαρ' (pronounced: nostimon imar).

A little observation: In evermore (the song) TS says: 'And when I was shipwrecked, I thought of you, in the cracks of light, I dreamed of you'. On Wikipedia nostos is also explained as: This journey is usually very extensive and includes being shipwrecked in an unknown location and going through certain trials that test the hero. Also in this tweet from two days ago: https://twitter.com/iamnearlyhome/status/1695929395733565893?t=WS5ZEw9EFCbJlJ51-ZlAiw&s=19 , probably a coincidence, but it mentions cracks. Evermore being tied with Exile and telling that the other person is not your homeland anymore is fitting with everything else.

It also reminds me of the Adore You music video where Harry sails off on a ship and there was supposed to be a part 2, but recently they got that scene in the end out of the music video for some reason.

Could zvzc actually mean zero voltage, zero current? (Something like, water current maybe? Travelling home by ship on water?) As far as I know, current doesn't exist without voltage and if you have 0 volts, then you don't have voltage and therefore no current. There's no flow, so there's no movement? I never liked Electricity, or really understood it, so it could mean anything really, I'm just guessing here.

Maybe the tweet means that he is not on his return home at this point in time lol. It also fits with the theme of the account, so it makes sense to be talking about nostos.

This is amazing, anon, and I didn’t want it to get lost in the craziness of today.

Here’s the tweet:

And our recent discussion:

Our intrepid duo DO use nautical imagery a lot, as you cited in evermore, and in Gold Rush (and in Fool’s Gold), and the whole Adore you video where what the “fish” taught him—to use all the stuff inside him to be the wind in his sails (a metaphor for *songwriting* aka “a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days”)—allows him to sail to other shores. That ship tattoo really set them on a particular course!

And the “I am returning to my homeland” yet being thwarted and the longing? And trials that test the hero? Oooof. Like: it is going to happen but not yet.

I have no idea about the last part, though. An acronym? Something with zeta? Shrouded in mystery, it remains.

I am so thankful for your Greek knowledge, anon, because my limited Koine for NT study did not help here, lol.

I really have the best anons. 😘

[donman2112]

Dark to Light

Q, Anons and the End of the Beginning

BURNING BRIGHT

JUL 14, 2023

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(Author’s Note: This piece represents a thematic follow-up to two of the most popular features yet at Burning Bright, ‘We Are Q,’ and ‘The Darkest Path,’ and while it stands alone in the current context of the Info War, it may be best read in conjunction with that deeper dive on the Op that started it all for many of us. Additionally, I’d like to point readers new and old to a series written by friend and peer Chris Paul entitled, ‘A Story About Reality,’ which explores the same Op in the way only our favorite moderator can.)

The Great Awakening is a framed narrative.

We knew the end of the story from the outset, even if challenges of faith and seven years of psychological warfare by a deeply-entrenched, increasingly desperate satanic cabal has put that framing into question for each of us at times.

And yes, in case you couldn’t tell, this feature is going to be a bit more direct than some of my others—at least, as direct as a stream of consciousness writing can be—because the subject matter demands it, and because, as argued in many recent features, posts and appearances, we must always strive to argue from a position of strength, both of belief and of logic, and reject enemy framing wherever possible, especially where it concerns the core of their subversive empire, and the pillar that must be chipped, cracked and eventually—perhaps soon—shattered en route to bringing the whole corrupt, diseased temple down upon their heads.

Despite attempts to obfuscate and increasingly-clownish arguments to the contrary, and despite the fact that none of us are omniscient or omnipresent, and cannot know the future with certainty, faith, logic and discerning minds prone to advanced pattern recognition have a way of bringing one back to the first drops by the Anon known as ‘Q.’

We knew the end from the beginning, with the ongoing journey there representing an alternatively enlightening and devastating series of revelations as to the true nature of the world around us, the powers that would lord over us and the dark sins at the heart of the eternal mausoleum they’d foment over our heads, and the bones of our children, born and unborn alike.

In many ways, we’ve known this all along.

And yet, the farther we’ve got in the Information War, the Mind War and the Shadow War—disparate names that form a fractal that more closely approximates the truth of it all—that makes up that spiritual, cognitive and sometimes-actual journey, the more frequent the reminders come that the dark truths that nest within the System of Systems also represent the shimmering gemstones of awakening that heralded the advent of the Second American Revolution … that heralded the coming of each and all of us.

And make no mistake, that is what we find ourselves in the midst of in this time and place.

Whether you’re examining the Net Effects of the latest Mass Psychological Deployment by one side or the other on the Game Theory Game Board, delving into the latest scandal to emerge from the unmasked ‘elite’ as patriots render them stark and exposed in the public eye through a combination of Narrative and Legal Exposure and Disclosure, or ruminating on the moral questions inherent in the recognition of evil and its continued existence amidst the sleeping spell our fellows remain caught firm within, this Revolution may be peaceful, and—contrary to the popular saying—it may in fact be televised … but it will also be lasting.

So long as we embrace the periodic reminders served up by ghosts in the media machine along with glowing nodes in a vast, interconnected network of sovereign minds, as well as the divine brilliance of serendipity as to what it’s all about. What it’s always been about.

And if my own journey into this awakening mirrors that of many of the minds reading these words today, then I’m not the only one out there who’s been catching signs others might see as fireflies in the yard more as comets streaking across a world-ending sky; not our world, but [theirs,] as the crumbling edifices of their criminal empire mark the precursor to a new dawn whose light we have not so much come upon through an arduous trek, but rather beckoned along so that it might pierce the heavy, laden lids of those not blessed or cursed with the same drive and insight that infects, afflicts and adorns the mind of the anti-collectivist collective known as Anons.

Anons.

Glowing nodes within a once-suffocating darkness, which now resembles a glittering web of awakening. Nodes whose initial flame was either sparked or else stoked by a shooting star of hope that heralded the beginnings of a storm whose waves reached shore long before its howling winds, lashing rains and the restorative reckoning we once trembled in anticipation of with anxiety, and now do so with excitement.

A sun around whose illuminating light the beginnings of the awakening orbited before spinning out, sparking the birth of galaxies of awareness all their own. The center point of a movement with as many names as persuasions, origins as missions, hearts as minds.

A node. A star. A sun.

A hope named Q.

And before that hope can be fully recognized and embraced, so its antithesis must be known, accounted for and summarily, soundly rejected, and routed from the shores of the collective human experience we once wandered, and now patrol. Woe be unto those who would seek to hide from the light we’ve been entrusted to shine. That we’ve taken, not to covet, but to shepherd and to share.

This rejection of the System of Lies and unTruths is a process each of us have or are going through even now, as we attempt to catch fresh tinder within the Collective Mind we yearn to wake, even as we seek to shield it from the trauma of having done so.

I was ‘awake’ before 2017 and the advent of Q, in a manner of speaking.

Awake enough to recognize the liar’s sleep that most of us—all of us—are born into. Aware enough to understand the sins I bore through the ignorance I felt as a heavy shroud and yet, whose yoke I couldn’t quite shake out of the malaise of illusion the powers that would be had spread like pestilence over the waking world of their dominion.

I remember the sensation, not always apparent, but ever-present which recalled the existential paralysis that would overtake me as a youth, when I would pass through the veil of sleep and re-enter the waking world trailing images—more so—suffocating feelings of dread anxiety into the reforming real—an affliction I no longer bear, but remember well.

And how many of us have been jarred or shaken roughly into waking before falling back, perhaps willingly into the grips of sweet ignorance, only to recognize that the sparked mind, much like the struck match can never strip its scorchmarks and ashen skin? How many of us pretended to prefer to dream along with the others, squeezed our eyelids shut tightly so that the monsters beneath the bed—now made real—might let us be a while longer, so they might continue to torment the innocent we pretended not to hear?

How many of us mistook knowledge for wisdom before the arrival of Q? How many mistook cynicism for clarity? Curiosity for bravery?

How many of us adopted the Doomer’s Refrain quite by accident, and converted the recognition of lies into the diffusion of sin onto the hated sleepers … onto everyone else, but never ourselves, because we knew better?

The reason I rail against Doomers in our midst—the worst of the Wolves because they betray not for wealth or fame, but due to the earnest failings of their own hearts—is because I used to be one.

I used to recognize the lies of the enemy matrix, at least in the Macro. I saw the sins of [their] empire laid bare. I knew enough to know that I knew very little, and I felt powerless because I did nothing to become powerful. I grew bitter to combat bitterness, and angry to combat hatred. I scorned in defense of being scorned, and I retreated in disgust at the cowardice I recognized in the world around me—in the people—without taking responsibility for its presence in myself.

I could tell you ‘What’ changed to put me on a path toward the logic-based positivity I created this publication—this name, and whatever goes along with it—to attempt to spread, and that ‘What’ was largely spawned by Q, but I’ve always found the ‘Why’ to be the more compelling story, and we are, after all, in a War of Stories.

If those reading these words know the ‘What’ of Q, then, what is the Why of Q?

As I often say around these parts, sometimes the answer lies within the question itself, and Q was—is—nothing if not a central question, one that recalls the great, mythic mysteries of the modern age, from Neo’s awakening in The Matrix to Alice’s journey down the rabbit hole.

What is the nature of our world?

And perhaps more importantly.

Why?

That said, it wasn’t solely the questions themselves that were responsible for the viral, exponential and somewhat ethereal spread of the Q Op. After all, while the right questions have the power to spark minds for the first time while reigniting cooled, dormant blazes within others, fires burn out without the fuel to sustain them, especially within those whose wicks had already run—within those the Q Op was designed to strike first, and strike hardest and hottest, that being the heterodox, beautiful paradox of the Anons.

No. It wasn’t the questions that sustained and transformed a curiosity into a philosophy, a mystery into a mission; it was the hope underlying them. The outlook. The end, communicated to us at the beginning, and whose broad outline comes clearer with each passing day, like the prow of a ghostly ship breaking the thick of fog, its sails still obscured with billows of cotton, canvas and mist. Lies covering truth, but whose shape is unmistakable if you know it’s coming.

Throughout the vastness of mapping the System of Systems that is the Globalist, Satanic Deep State Cabal, the complexities of starting on a path to learning Fifth-Generation Warfare so that we might do more than read the memories of the great battle on the ocean of our consciousness as its reflections reach the shore through shimmering ripples, and the spiritual intricacies of the unseen realm rendered just a bit more real with each passing day in this era, the same hope that made up the core of Donald Trump’s inexplicable and yet, inevitable appeal to the American heart is the same bright destiny that gripped the zeal of the overactive and underused Anon hivemind.

That is and was the brilliance of the Q Op, even if it was just the beginning of its central purpose.

As a very public figure said last week, there is no ‘QAnon;’ there is Q, and there are Anons. There are questions, and so, there must be answers, as the latter cannot be arrived at without the directed, discerning wings of the former to bear them hence.

As my good friend and peer 

Chris Paul

 is fond of saying, there are few feelings that rival “the joy of having been wrong.”

And after the darkness of despair many of us experienced upon those early revelations of the Q drops—revelations the sleepers are only just beginning to be confronted with the ghostly outlines of—and the anger it called up, we have had the honor, the privilege and the great responsibility to experience the joy of having been wrong with frequency, and with a fortitude that will help us prepare the way for those who follow.

More so than an observation, that epiphany isn’t just representative of the truth the Great Awakening process imprints onto those it touches, but rather marks a philosophical shift in framing the very questions that sparked said awakening in the first place.

After all, how is one to recognize the light without the darkness that makes up its edges, frames it and thus, gives it meaning?

What is light in a canvas made of itself?

A blanket of bright, like a blinding sun with no horizon to carve from the edges of the world, or a canvas upon which to paint the colors it would birth in order to define itself.

It has been said that, when one stares into the abyss, one must take care, lest the abyss stare back. And that truth hits hard to those who’ve wandered the darkest paths of the Info War for years, as the Darkest Path is also the first one many of us took back then, which was simultaneously the most difficult course, and the one we were least prepared to take.

And yet, with the benefit of the hindsight we mistook for foresight at the time, and with all the many joys we’ve experienced cataloguing and exorcising the many wrongs we once held in our awakening psyches, I now believe that jarring, traumatic trek into the wandering ways of the void was quite the point—a feature of both the Q Op and the Great Awakening it helped to usher in, and not a bug.

After all, while many of us stumbled upon those prescient, fateful questions by mistake—or were guided by unseen hands—the choice to follow them to their logical, paradigm-shattering endpoints was entirely each and all of ours.

The Darkest Path was a path we chose to walk, partly out of the inherent curiosity that makes up those predisposed to the life of the Anon, partly out of heterodox rebellion against the status quo and yet, I would posit and confidently guess, more so because we felt a pull to the questions in the first place, and a responsibility in light of the answers.

But then, I suppose there are still some toiling among us who believe in coincidence, and accident, despite the revealed designs of our collectivist enemy and their undoing.

Which brings us to the point of this piece.

In recent pieces, such as ‘Crisis Cascade’ and ‘Crisis Convergence,’ I have laid out a general—and far from exhaustive—framework that defines the System of Systems to me. This framework, breaking the Deep State into pillars ranging from the Financial and Political to the Cultural and Clandestine is a veneer of complexity that obscures a rather simple truth, and that is that what binds the System together is shared sin, and the leverage that implies—first over one another, and through that bound and trapped immorality, and the temporary power it affords—dominion over us, the would-be sovereigns of the world.

That said, there are signs every hour of each day that the System of Systems has grown ragged and weary. From the ongoing failure of woke corporations and the continued backlash against subversive ideology of every sick, twisted persuasion, to the sheer idiocy on display on the political world stage—a puppet show whose Net Effects are serving the Great Awakening, for a change—the Deep State has never been so revealed to a greater plurality of the American people than in this time.

And the true Crisis Cascade that will ultimately take the Deep State down in the Actual realm and not simply the Potential one—that involving everything from what many Anons believe will be the largest criminal conspiracy (RICO) case ever brought to court, international committees, New Nurembergs and the ramifications for the Biblical flood of Disclosure to emerge from the Media, Military and Medical industrial complexes, as well as the exposure of the true Deep State, the subversive rot in the heart of the U.S. and international Administrative State itself—comes back around to the original secret their false world was built in order to keep, and that we exist in order to expose.

Sound of Freedom is currently clogging the cognitive airwaves of the Info War in all the best ways, but it’s simply the latest in an accelerating and intensifying series of Narrative Whiplashes regarding the very ‘Crimes Against Children’ truth this formerly-disparate, uncooperative community of Truthers, Anons and Citizen Journalists coalesced and unified in order to expose.

The fact that the independent film, which explores the Child Sex Trafficking epidemic in a fashion most Americans are completely unexposed to on the back of its continued embarrassment of Disney’s cascade of box office and fiscal failures, and in spite of the entertainment conglomerate’s attempts to shelve the film indefinitely when they held the distribution rights to it, is so utterly, righteously perfect, the sheer magnitude and impossibility of the congruent success of the one and failure of the other beggars belief, and renders attempts to dismiss the connection inane and expository on their own misplaced merits.

As I said on Truth Social:

I refer to this resurfacing of the Darkest Path—and other ongoing truths and theories ubiquitous with the Truth Community and the Q Op—as the ‘Shark Fin Template,’ which posits that the most important revelations to emerge as part and parcel to the Great Awakening continue to break the surface of the roiling waters of the Info War with increasing frequency, until such a time as Justice is actualized for the imprinted, solidified wrongs against humankind.

These Crises [to them,] represented by parallel Narrative & Actual, Legal Deployments regarding Allison Mack, Keith Reniere and NXIVM, sex crimes at CNN and the BBC, Larry Nassar’s current plight in a Florida prison, Jeffrey Epstein’s ubiquity within every elite walk of shadowed life, from the central bankers to Big Tech and even the slow re-emergence of the Podestas, Clintons and Haiti back in the Story the Collective Mind is absorbing absent its conscious will, provide near-constant reminders of the inevitability of Justice, which is never early, nor late, but rather arrives precisely when it means to.

And I believe the resurfacing of these Stories—particularly, of these characters—is our most apparent signal that there are indeed ghosts within the media machine, and that these ghosts work for the side of the light.

More so than the re-emergence of these Narratives, however, the Media Industrial Complex’s denials and employment of what I refer to as ‘Overton’s Goalpost’ regarding their veracity is perhaps the most damaging development for the anonymity these ‘protectors’ and enablers of the Deep State’s predilections once enjoyed.

The Narrative-setters in the Deep State’s direct employ, as well as those orbiting their system of immorality and debauchery are now bound in the Ouroboros pattern that can only result in their exposure to the waking collective of humanity, and the wrath that will come along with it.

So, when you see the Media Industrial Complex going out of its way to cast child trafficking itself as the conspiracy theory and those who lead its exposure cultists and miscreants, remember that ‘Guardians of the Pedophiles’ isn’t some conspiracy-addled fever dream.

They’ve been in the shadows, and now they’re being forced—they’re forcing themselves—into the light of our directed minds, and for things born of and in the dark, that isn’t an especially good place to be.

We in this community don’t exist to spread the truth. Not any longer. That part of the tale is done, and the enemy has picked up the baton from us in their seething, spitting desperation. They will germinate the seeds of awakening we planted some time ago with their immolative attempts to obscure them, and we will be here to be the frame and support upon which those fresh green chutes and curling, fragile, eager creepers of curiosity climb, and whose buds and blossoms will begin to move through the colors of awakening each of us went through in a different time, and through harder earth.

Mapping began long ago. Perhaps far longer than we’ll ever truly know.

Amidst the financial, political, cultural and clandestine, the Darkest Path is the foundation of the dark world they would have us inherit. It is what the System of Systems was erected to protect, and it is what the Sovereign Alliance—and what each of us and those who join us in the brightening sun—was called to tear down.

The sheer magnitude of the current Crisis Cascade afflicting the one secret they wish we’d leave alone, and the one they can least afford being dragged into the light is a breakthrough of encouragement that, where it concerns the Info War, the Mind War and the Great Awakening, things can turn very slowly, and then all at once.

Just as Epstein and Maxwell were two key nodes in a larger network of evil masquerading as unelected lordship, each revealed piece of filth carries with it its own story, which will water the well of awakening within its own mind in the loosening bedrock around us. After all, it is only through confronting the greatest sins that we might hope to reconcile the past they poisoned with the future we hope to build.

Revelation, much like epiphany is not a gradual process, but immediate, even if the path there is choked with trials, trails and tribulations, forded rivers, gnarled roots and earthen slides that slowed the climb to the summit. This climb, for all its hellish, callused intricacies is quickly forgotten, and melts away when the last staggered steps onto the plateau become the first in a new world, and when the whole comes into view, vast and stunning and present.

What are we here for, then?

In the end, it’s up to each of us to answer that question. That said, sometimes we get a helping hand. Sometimes the simulation winks at us. Sometimes God breaks through.

Sometimes the truth heralds itself.

Our beginning will mark their ending. It already has. It already did.

The reckoning is long overdue, and the storm is coming.

Because it was always about the children.

We’re all of us in a Mind War. We were born into it. Molded in it. The difference is, you and I know it. Which gives us a responsibility. There’s no putting the genie of awakening back in the bottle. But that truth goes both ways. That burden of knowledge whose weight we share is the millstone around [their] collective necks.

And if the more subtle Tolkien nods throughout this piece weren’t quite enough, I’ll end with one I’ve only slightly modified, intoned by King Theoden of Rohan unto the breaking of the world, and the last ride of the Rohirrim:

“Now for wrath. Now for ruin. And [their] world’s ending.”

Until next time, stay Positive, stay Based and most importantly … stay Bright.

(Note to Readers: Below, I humbly ask for the support of those willing and able to spare it as I continue to try to carve out a path for myself and my family that will allow me to focus on the life of the Truthful Tiger more completely. That said, recently, the Buy Me A Coffee company caved to a coordinated ‘Cancel Campaign’ launched by Media Matters, resulting in the deplatforming of several of my friends and peers. While Burning Bright has seemingly escaped their notice—should I be insulted?—for the time being, it is possible that my page will be taken down soon as well. Either way, I wanted to clearly communicate that to you folks, in case it changes your desire to use their platform to support my work.

As always, the best and most consistent way to support my writing and research is to upgrade to a paid membership on this Substack platform for $7 per month or less. So far, Substack has rebuffed ‘Cancel’ and ‘Pressure’ Campaigns launched against citizen journalists.)

[kookieswan]

It's really hard seeing amazing ff writers and content creators, they are so nice to chat with, such good people already deactivated or inactive 😭 I already learnt to accept the fact they are no longer here and respect their whatever their decision that they left tumblr or stop writing. It hit bottom low when Mindy (parkdatjimin) left, I got to know her less than a year 🥹 such an sweet angel and I shared some ideas for her and Mindy did took my idea and wrote which is for Hooked (Christmas Special) 😭🥹 looking at the deactivated stories and contents makes me sad. Please appreciate all writers and content creators cause they really worked hard and they hold the community and fill the joy, lights and laughs in our darkest times💜

Take care of yourself alright. Be kind to yourself. You are good enough and did everything so noteworthy. You being here brings joy 💜

It is hard seeing people go but yes, understand that most of the time it’s needed for whatever reason 🌸♥️

Thank you for the kind words anon 💝