#you bring his dog shit father into his HOUSE uninvited?

[cruciology]

Can’t believe this is my first 9-1-1 opinion post but I’m on 6.10 and I’ve never felt so strongly about anything in my life, Albert should fucking die

[writingformymentalhealth]

So I had this thought in my head about some arranged Marriage thingy with the Black brothers and I started writing it so if you like both brothers please read, and I would love some feedback

——-

Josephine Fawley or as her brother liked to call her the tomboy Princess had a striking romance with Hogwarts very own Pureblood rebel Sirius Black.

Sadly her parents deemed his Brother the so called Slytherin Prince as a better fit and arranged a marriage with the younger Black

Masterlist

Tw: arranged Marriage, abuse, bad parents

Josephine Fawley knew she was in trouble as soon as she slid out of the elegant leather saddle of her beautiful white horse, seeing her fuming brother next to the house’s own stable.

“Where the hell were you?” Her twin brother asked, his green eyes that were so identical to hers glaring at her accusingly.

“Quentin -“

“No, Joey, Mum is throwing a tantrum. The ball starts in two hours.”

“Better get going then”, she said, throwing her brother a cheeky smile.

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll take Stormy.” He grumbled, taking the reins out of her hand and letting her rush into the house.

“Where were you? You will never look presentable in time.” Cordelia Fawley - charming as always, greeted her daughter.

“Sorry Mother, I didn’t know you wanted me to get ready so early.” She gave her mother her best innocent puppy eyes, and Cordelia’s facial features softened immediately. “Just hurry.”

She saluted playfully before sprinting up the spiral staircase into her room, hearing her Mother mumble something about running, being unladylike under her breath.

Josephine quickly showered and washed her hair, drying and styling it with magic - the benefits of being a witch.

She threw on less makeup than her Mother would want, slipping into her dress with ease and smiled at her reflection. The red satin material hugged her figure perfectly and she hoped giddily that her boyfriend wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off her. Even though Sirius and she both visited Hogwarts and practically lived together all year round, she missed him dearly after a week of not seeing him.

Her brother always said it was because they were friends before they were lovers, attached to the hip since the age of 9 meeting at their first pureblood ball, the parents being delighted about the two children of high-ranking families forming a connection.

Things had changed since then, Joey’s parents who always secretly preferred the younger Black Brother - Regulus being proven right in their fears as Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor, bringing shame upon his family.

A year later Josephine was also sorted into Gryffindor and word on the street said Sirius Black corrupted the younger girl as in the same year her brother was sorted into Ravenclaw and Regulus Black, to the relief of his family, was sorted into Slytherin.

But much to her parents’ dismay, Josephine never really bonded with Regulus, despite them sharing lots of classes. She always found herself spending all her free time with Sirius and after they became official, the couple never really told their parents out of fear of the consequences.

Joey knew her parents would be rather disappointed, and although no child wanted to disappoint their parents, she wasn’t really scared of that but it was a well-known fact that Walburga Black believed in physical punishment and she didn’t want to put Sirius through that.

The voice of her mother echoing up the staircase interrupted her thoughts and with one last glance in the mirror Joey went down the stairs of the antique building, resisting the urge to jump them down as usual, trying to look elegant to please her mother.

“Josephine, you look ravishing.” Her Mother said, proudly stretching out her hand so they could Apparate while her father stoic as always already grabbed her brother’s hand.

With a loud plop, they landed in front of the Black Mansion, in which the ball would be located.

Inside, classical piano music was playing in the background, overshadowed by snotty laughter and evil talks.

“Josephine!” The airy voice of Narcissa Black - Sirius’ cousin echoed through the room.

“Cissy!” She embraced the unfairly pretty girl in a hug, Narcissa and her had known each other since the age of four as they both took Ballet classes till Joey decided she’d rather spend her time learning horseback riding like her brother, holding her breath till her parents obliqued not wanting their only daughter to turn blue.

Her brother nodded to the girl, his demeanor being unreadable for most, but Joey saw the tips of his ears turning a dark shade of crimson.

“Nice to see you, Quentin. I gotta go back to Lucius though.”

“Are your parents still holding on to the idea of an arranged marriage?”

“Yeah but I’m really glad it is with Lucius, we are perfect for each other.” Narcissa said, a dreamy look in her eyes. Joey nodded, faking understanding, resisting the urge to ask Narcissa when exactly she had gone mad, while Quentin just scoffed.

“Lucius treats her like shit, he is abusive.” Her brother murmured in her ear after the beautiful blonde was gone.

“I know that, and you know that, but I gave up on telling her that. Besides, maybe in this case ignorance is bliss.”

“What do you mean?”

“They will make her marry him anyway, maybe this way it will be less painful for her.”

Her brother wrinkled his nose in disgust, earning a sympathetic hand squeeze from Joey.

“Why are pureblood families even so obsessed with arranged marriages?”

“They all want to climb the social pureblood ladder.” Joey shrugged.

“That’s stupid. And even worse is using your children for your stupid desires.”

Josephine knew, her brother was about to go on one of his infamous rants and her eyes subconsciously started scanning the room for the familiar mob of black hair, which she found - well, almost.

“Josephine, Quentin.” The figure greeted, and Joey was once again reminded how much Regulus Black resembled his older brother.

“Have you seen Sirius?” she asked the boy, skipping the formalities.

“What she meant to say was, hello nice to meet you here.” Her brother said dryly, and a smirk tugged on the younger Black boys’ lips.

“I too enjoy your presence here,” Regulus said, looking at her brother. “And no I haven’t seen him, but knowing him he is probably hiding in his room.”

“Then I’ll better go look for him.” she answered, waving a goodbye at the two boys as she slowly went up the stairs, her legs automatically finding their way to Sirius’ room. In any other situation she might have felt guilty for leaving her brother alone with the quite intimidating Regulus Black, but the anticipation of meeting Sirius overshadowed everything.

She entered the room boldly, not bothering with knocking, her gaze instantly settling on Sirius’ back.

“What the-?” The boy turned around. Anger contoured his face, and he looked like a dog ready to attack an intruder before his stormy grey eyes met hers, instantly softening.

“Joey?”

“Who else would dare to enter Sirius Black’s room uninvited?”

“You have no idea.” He muttered, taking a few steps towards the girl, minimizing their distance, and just now Joey’s eyes trailed down his body, noticing that his dress shirt still was unbuttoned, exposing blue and purple marks in the form of knuckles all over his skin.

“Siri.” She whispered, trailing her hands softly over his bruised skin, making him wince.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Did your parents do this?” She looked into his stormy grey eyes, her hands still trailing over his naked skin, leaving goosebumps everywhere.

“My Father to be exact, my Mother is more of a Cruciatus fan lately.” He said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood but just receiving a horrified look in response.

“Sirius-“

He cut her off, pressing his lips on hers softly, but Joey felt the neediness in the kiss, the need to feel that he was still loved, that everything was going to be okay and the girl gave him just that, she grounded him.

Slowly, she buttoned up his shirt, careful not to startle him or break the kiss, but as soon as she buttoned up the shirt halfway, he broke the kiss pouting at her. “You know some girlfriends unbutton their boyfriend’s shirt instead of buttoning it up.”

“Well, you always tell me I’m special,” she said, grinning up at him.

He pulled her back into a kiss, a more heated one this time, slowly pushing her in the direction of his bed, clearly trying to distract the girl from the fact that they were supposed to be downstairs with the other guests.

“Siri, if our parents find us here instead of downstairs at the -��� he sucked on her neck making her forget what she was going to say.

“What did you want to say?” He whispered in her ear, gently placing kisses down her neck, making her body shiver in anticipation. He smiled boyishly, loving the effect he had on the girl.

“I hate you.” She mumbled, while tilting her head to give him better access to her neck.

“You love me.”

-

Her head rested comfortably on Sirius’ chest as they waltzed through the ballroom.

“How’s your brother?” Sirius asked softly while dancing, not missing a single beat, and Joey suddenly felt thankful that she told him about her brother not having to carry the burden on her own anymore.

Her brother was ill, Depression, the muggle doctors called it and Sirius was the only person, besides Joey and her family, that knew about it.

“He’s on muggle medication now, that helps a lot.”

“Your parents approve of that?”

“They aren’t as anti muggle as yours are,” she reminded him and she felt his body tense under her hands, “besides they don’t want him to die.” She mumbled, and Sirius pulled her closer, kissing her temple softly.

“How are things with Regulus?” She asked, knowing the complicated relationship the siblings shared.

“It just makes me angry that he is stupid enough to believe my parents’ blood superiority complex. So we are barely civil.”

“I’m sorry. I know you love him.”

“It doesn’t matter.” the boy’s lips formed a thin line. “he thinks I am a disgrace to the Black family, just like my parents.”

“Sirius Orion Black!”

“Speaking of the devil,” Sirius muttered, turning his head to Walburga.

“I have some people that you need to meet.” The woman sneered before turning her face to Joey, a sickly sweet smile appearing on the woman’s face.

“Josephine, how nice to see you!”

“The pleasure is mine.”

“I’ll just burrow Sirius for a few minutes, alright?” The woman asked, not waiting for an answer before dragging Sirius away.

Joey sighed, making her way to the bar, hoping that alcohol would make the people here more interesting and less intimidating.

She was on her second glass as a charming-looking boy approached her politely, asking for a dance. Not having anything better to do, and intrigued by the unknown face she accepted and surprisingly found herself actually enjoying herself.

Edward Bones was indeed a pleasant dance partner, lightly chatting about his love for chocolate cake and seeming genuinely curious when he asked the girl about her interests.

The conversation was abruptly interrupted as no other than Sirius Black himself pulled Joey away from the boy. “Excuse me, mind if I cut in?”

Sirius didn’t wait for an answer, yanking Joey away from Edgar’s grasp and spinning her into his arms gracefully.

Sirius glared around as if he wanted to challenge the bystanders to cut in, but they all knew better than to mess with a Black, hesitantly going back to their conversations although still eyeing the boy suspiciously.

Joey wanted to turn around to apologize to Edgar, but he was gone.

Sirius’ darkened eyes look straight at Joey. “I can’t stand these people always trying to touch you.”

“We were just dancing, Darling”

“Yes, I know that. But he had no business being so close to you and making you laugh and giving you that weird flirty look” Sirius tugged the girl closer. “You’re mine.” Sirius presses his forehead against Joey’s, gently caressing her lips with his thumb. His lips found their way down to hers feverish eliminating any distance between them.

“I thought we didn’t want these people to know.” Joey said, gesturing around the party, needing all her self-control to sound composed even though the boy was leaving love marks all over her neck making her insides melt like chocolate.

He looked at her, his stormy eyes resting on her green ones.

“In one and a half years you will be out of school and we can get married so fuck what they think.”

“You want to get married right after school?”

Sirius looked taken aback, gently caressing the silver ring on Joey’s hand. “I didn’t give you that promise ring just for show, you know? I meant what I said, I know you are the one and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you.“

They both looked at the ring for a few moments, remembering the day he gave her that ring, at a bench in a muggle park underneath a cherry blossom tree.

“But if you want to wait-“

“No. I love you. I want that too.” She said, never being so sure about something in her entire life.

“I love you too Josephine, soon to be Black.”

Part 2

[aion-rsa]

Friday Night Dinner: the Best Episodes

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Friday Night Dinner is ten.

That’s ten years of crimble-crumble, humble bumbling, manic misunderstandings, and more lovely bits of squirrel than you could shake a dead fox at. For thirty-seven Friday nights across six glorious seasons the Goodman family – shirtless dad, Martin (Paul Ritter); long-suffering but ever hopeful mum, Jackie (Tamsin Greig), and their visiting prank-wanker sons Adam (Simon Bird) and Jonny (Tom Rosenthal) – served up a banquet of laughs to a hungry nation, ably assisted by chronically persistent, reality-adjacent next-door-neighbour, Jim (Mark Heap) and his faithful dog, Wilson, and a host of other regulars and monstrously memorable one-offs besides. 

In celebration, then, of one of the most smartly-observed, perfectly-cast comedies of recent years, in chronological order, we count down ten of the show’s best.

The Sofabed

Series 1, Episode 1

Most first episodes – nay entire first series – of new comedies can be scattergun. Maybe the characters haven’t quite coalesced, or their fictional universe doesn’t feel ‘lived in’ yet. Not so with Friday Night Dinner. The show arrived fully-formed, with the Goodmans seeming as real as any family in your street; perhaps even your own family.

All of the gags, rituals and dynamics destined to run and grow and fold back in upon themselves throughout the series’ run are here: Martin’s secrets, conspiracies and hearing difficulties; Jim’s constant interruptions; Adam and Johnny’s brutal one-upmanship; the salt-in-the-water prank; Martin’s fondness for shouting ‘shit on it’.

The first episode revolves around the selling of a sofabed (with a brief sojourn into conspiracy when Martin inveigles his children into helping him hide the old magazines Jackie has ordered him to destroy), a simple enough transaction that turns to tragedy when death comes (quite literally) calling. Martin’s mis-hearing and misunderstanding of a crucial piece of information whilst standing at the bottom of a stair-and-couch-based conga line brings the series first proper belly-laugh, and with it the realisation that Friday Night Dinner is going to be something special.          

Mr Morris

Series 2, Episode 2

Mr Morris, played by Harry Landis, is a marvellous comic creation. With his predilection for getting topless and dressing people down at the dinner table, he’s like a malignant, mirror-universe version of Martin. With the eyes of Mr Magoo and the moustache of Adolf Hitler – and something of the bearing of both – Mr Morris, Granny’s new and very married boyfriend, quickly establishes himself as the dinner guest from Hell.

After crashing into their house and blaming them for the damage, the pugilistic, preening, proud, petty, and pretty much certifiably insane pensioner goes on to engage in horrendously public displays of affection with Granny; shout angrily over the phone at his 95-year-old wife; make Adam and Johnny pay for the, well, johnnies he later planned to use on their grandma; accuse Adam of sexual assault, and then challenge the whole household to a half-naked fist fight. Just another Friday night at the Goodman’s. 

The Mouse

Series 2, Episode 6

‘Mouse’ marks the first time that Jim manages to get his feet under the dinner table of the Goodman home, and it’s everything you could have hoped for. And more.

Normally the family manufactures its own chaos during the weekly meal – with extra helpings of misunderstandings, feuds, schadenfreude, embarrassment and horror – but here the Goodmans are cast as the straight men to Jim’s one-man reality-wrecking crew. While interpersonal connections and rituals are alien to Jim, the Goodmans’ set of mannerisms and catchphrases are his greatest challenge yet. His interpretation of their Jewish faith is equal parts sweet to absolutely bonkers, and only Jim’s anxiety, eagerness to please, incomprehension, and molten naivety keeps things from becoming insulting.

All of the Goodman rituals to which the viewer has become accustomed rain down on Jim in a hail of friendly fire, leading him to gargle on ‘Jewish water’ and scrutinise his dinner plate for hints of squirrel. The moment where Jim briefly considers whether he should eat the episode’s eponymous mouse as it scurries onto his dinner plate is pure comedy gold. 

Christmas

Series 2, Episode 7

This episode features the first appearance of Rosalind Knight as Martin’s mother, or ‘Horrible Grandma’ as she’s known to the family. Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace and celebration, but that’s not an easy ask when your guest of dishonour is a terrifying little lady who’s equal parts Livia Soprano to the Shushing Library Spook from Ghostbusters. Very few Christmases contain the line, ‘Thanks for raping our grandma’s dog on Christmas day’, fewer still see a grandson sharing his grandma’s dog’s oxygen mask, but then nobody does Christmas like the Goodmans. And they’re not even supposed to be doing it.

There’s a surprisingly beautiful moment at the end of this episode, courtesy of resident oddball, Jim, that – like all of the other rare occasions on which the show veers towards sentimentality – is quickly undercut by a well-timed, and very welcome, gag. 

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The Girlfriend

Series 3, Episode 1

Adam finally meets his match: an eight-year-old girl who blackmails him into a chaste but never-the-less irritating and inappropriate ‘relationship’ following the discovery of a racy, unsolicited picture of his girlfriend’s sister on his phone, while his girlfriend is there at the Goodman house for dinner. Thus unfolds an evening of unusual foot-washing, forced transvestism, secrets, lies, panic, and a stunning coup de grace from Jonny, who helps put the final nail into the coffin of his brother’s fledgling relationship.  

The Fox

Series 3, Episode 2

Martin likes to squirrel away a great many things, many of them ridiculous, most of them out of sight of his wife. But Johnny and Adam probably weren’t expecting to discover a dead fox in their father’s chest freezer, much less find themselves enlisted to help move it around town like a hitman’s hairy bounty until the heat died down long enough for their father to have it stuffed. The funniest thing about Martin’s many hare-brained (or, in this case, fox-brained) schemes is the energy he throws at them, the sort of logistical chicanery seldom seen this side of the CIA. Watching the men of the family toddle around hither and thither with a dead fox, hiding it in the dining room, hurling it in cupboards, wedging it through windows, is exactly as funny as it sounds, and – as always – just when you think Martin’s got away with it… he hasn’t.  

The Two Tonys

Series 4, Episode 1

Martin is an exceptionally quick-thinker. Unfortunately, his speed of thought is seldom married with precision, and he usually finds himself blurting something out at the start of an evening and spending the rest of that evening teetering on the edge of oblivion, with his long-suffering wife ready to push him off. His blurt-out in ‘The Two Tonys’, though, is perhaps his most desperate and ill-considered. In a bid to encourage Jason Watkins’ Tony – a loathed associate from years ago Martin had invited to dinner believing him to be another, better Tony – to leave the Goodman home, he forces Jackie to go along with the ruse that her mother has just died. This gambit, like all Goodman gambits, backfires spectacularly, and what follows is a farce worthy of Frasier, everything culminating in a desperate chase and the furious weaponisation of a pineapple. 

The Funeral

Series 4, Episode 5

Friday Night Dinner deals with death incredibly often, and incredibly well, wringing joyous laughter from that most terrifying and inevitable of our shared fates. Here we have another delicious dose of Horrible Grandma, who’s in town to lay to rest her dear departed brother, Saul. Martin is pressured into giving Saul’s eulogy, even though he never really knew or liked his uncle all that much. Cue a day of stress, arrests, tense stand-offs and tantrums, ending with an uninvited Jim appearing at Saul’s graveside clutching four black balloons, while Martin proceeds to recite Saul’s death certificate in lieu of a proper farewell. Immediately following a Grand Prix-inspired coffin malfunction, Jim’s dog Wilson enters stage-left to put a necro-quasi-cannibalistic spin on the ending of Todd Solondz‘s Happiness.      

Dad’s Birthday

Series 6, Episode 4

Horrible Grandma might make for a terrible dinner guest, but she makes for a perfect guest star. This time, we bid her goodbye for good, but not before a great deal of caustic put-downs, cathartic showdowns and perhaps the funniest, most macabre magic trick of all time, courtesy of resident ‘magician’ Jim.

Females

Series 6, Episode 6  

‘Females’ wasn’t intended to be the final episode of the series, at least according to comments made by series’ creator Robert Popper immediately following its transmission. And it still might not be the end. But it’s hard to imagine a better, funnier or more touching swan-song for the show, with or without the tragic death of Paul Ritter.

Adam and Jonny finally have ‘females’ (as their progressive dad has always called their prospective girlfriends) in their lives at the same time, and Jackie is overjoyed to be welcoming them into her home. She thinks the evening is going to be perfect, which is rather naïve of her considering that she’s married to Martin.

Sure enough, Martin manages to contaminate every course of the meal with shards of broken glass, a calamity he’s forced to reveal to everyone but Jackie, going on to enlist their help in somehow preventing the matriarch from choking to death, while simultaneously preventing her from discovering the depths of his dangerous ineptitude. Martin is, of course, thoroughly rumbled, but before Jackie can strike him down with great anger and furious vengeance, two pregnancies are announced in quick and joyous succession.

‘Females’ is solidly, classically funny, but it’s the episode’s smaller, more intimate moments that will linger longest in the imagination: the brothers’ new-found, prank-less affection for each other; the subdued but sincere affection between Jackie and Martin as they discuss their new roles and the future; and the now suddenly larger Goodman family dancing as one in the living room. As codas go, it’s a damn near perfect one.

If Friday Night Dinner comes back, let it be in twenty years when Adam and Jonny are middle-aged. For now, I hope Martin gets to enjoy many long years as a granddad.

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Friday Night Dinner series 1-6 are available to stream in the UK on All4 and Netflix.           

The post Friday Night Dinner: the Best Episodes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[backpfeifenguy]

All in Your Head Chapter 5

After a few minutes, something occurred to Raven. “Why didn’t you just call Mento?”

“I need a psychic I can trust.”

“You don’t trust him? I thought he was a father figure or something.”

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. “And? Daddy issues are standard issue in our line of work. Besides,” he murmured, “he probably gave this bastard more to work with than anyone else.”

Raven couldn’t resist; it was rare for Beast Boy to talk so openly about his life before joining the Titans, and even rarer for him to talk about Mento. “Was he really that bad?”

“Worse,” Beast Boy replied, “trust me. He pretty much never talked to me except to make me feel like shit. Every day, he’d find some knew way that I’d disappointed him, some new reason why I wasn’t good enough, some new lecture about how the whole team was going to die because I wasn’t strong enough…” Raven could tell that this conversation was taking Beat Boy somewhere he probably shouldn’t be in his current state, and resolved to change the subject.

“You know, you actually remind me of Aziraphale a little.”

“Excuse me?”

“Aziraphale,” Raven replied simply, “from Good Omens. You remind me of him.”

“I remind you of him? Really?”

“You’re smarter than people give you credit for, and you’re good at being good.” Beast Boy snorted. “What the hell does that even mean?”

“It means you help people. You don’t have to think about it, you just help them.” Raven felt herself blushing slightly, but pressed on anyway. “You said the Beast is basically just your instincts, right?”

“That’s what it told me.”

“And everytime it’s come out, it’s tried to protect me,” Raven said with a faint grin, “your deepest instincts are to protect others. Face it Beast Boy; you’re a good person.”

No you’re not; you’re just a dog that got a few tricks whipped into it. Raven thinks that you’re a good person. She’s smarter than you. Ergo, she’s right, you’re a good person. “Thanks Raven, that means a lot to me.”

“Any time, Beast Boy.”

“I can confirm that you are indeed a good person.” An unfamiliar voice sounded from the corner of the room.

“I was wondering when you’d speak up,” Beast Boy replied calmly, “I’m guessing you’re the psychic that Robin called?”

A figure stepped forward; she had red hair and green skin, darker than Beast Boy’s. “How did you know?”

“What, like you made it hard?” Beast Boy scoffed. “I could smell you the instant you came in, through the wall I might add. Combined with your green skin and the fact that you smell like Martian Manhunter, I’m guessing you’re Miss Martian.”

“And he thinks he’s dumb.” Raven quipped, rolling her eyes. Because you are; having a good nose doesn’t make you smart.

“My name is M’gann M’orzz, but you can just call me Meghan. Now,” Meghan’s tone shifted from friendly and open to all business, “I’m told that you’ve got an uninvited guest in your head.”

After a quick explanation and a warning about the Beast, Meghan began her work. “I feel I should warn you, this may take a while; pinpointing the exact telepathic signature of the attack could takes hours, even days… No wait, I found it.” Her eyes narrowed. “Of course it’s him…”

Psimon’s plan was progressing nicely; Beast Boy hadn’t been seen in two weeks, the other titans were run ragged operating with an incomplete team, and best of all, they had no way to trace it back to him! All in all, he was starting to feel unstoppable. And that’s when his wall exploded.

A voice rang out from the smoke. “Hello Psimon.” Robin stepped forward.

“Heard you been messing with my little buddy’s head.” Cyborg growled, emerging from the smoke.

“That was an unwise choice of actions.” Starfire opined, the glow of her eyes contrasting with her calm tone.

“Very unwise.” Raven’s voice emerged from behind him.

“You think you’ve won?” Psimon sneered.

“Pretty much.” Best Boy stepped forward, looking unbearably smug.

“This isn’t a victory, this is just the start of negotiations.”

Beast Boy looked confused. “Negotiations?”

Psimon smirked. “You need me to get rid of the program I left in your grey matter, so you’ll have to give me what I want.” He’d hoped he wouldn’t need this contingency plan, but he’d settle for it anyway; extort his way to freedom, set the program to its dormant state for a few weeks, go into hiding and reactivate it. His plans would be delayed, but ultimately unchanged.

“No I don’t,” Beast Boy replied, “she already took care of it.”

“Who did?” Psimon demanded, taken aback.

“I did.” Miss Martian floated down through the ceiling.

“I surrender.” Psimon whimpered.

“I thought so.” Miss Martian smirked.

“So,” Beast Boy began growled as soon as Psimon had been restrained, “why did you do it?”

“To destroy the Titans, of course.”

“And you went after me?” Beast Boy shook his head. “Kind of a weird choice of target.” Don’t sell yourself short, boy.

“I didn’t go after anyone in particular,” Psimon responded airily. “The program simply attached itself to the most receptive mind.” He leered. “Doing the sad clown bit, are we? A little cliched.”

Robin narrowed his eyes. “Explain.”

“No,” Beast Boy sighed “I should explain, not him.” Everyone turned to face him. It’s time, boy. They need to know. “He didn’t put a voice in my head; he just took one that was already there and made it worse.” After a moment of hesitation, he continued. “It’s called intrusive thoughts. They’re a common symptom of depression and PTSD… both of which I have.”

“The program was meant to drive you to suicide!” Psimon hissed. “You would have died, and the program would jump ship onto whoever was most affected by your death. The Titans would have fallen like a line of dominoes!”

“Well, I guess I had a little more help than you expected.” You can say that again.

“What are you?” Psimon demanded. “What the hell are you?!”

Beast Boy leaned in close, so that only Psimon could hear him, and lowered his defences just enough to let his mind be read. “I’m a boy.” And a beast. “And stronger than you.”

Psimon was restrained and taken away by the police before long, and Miss Martian left shortly afterwards, pausing only to give everyone a quick psychic scan to make sure Psimon hadn’t messed with their heads. Before they could head home, Robin still had one very important job to handle. “Beast Boy, are… are you okay?”

For a second, it looked like Beast Boy was thinking of lying to him, but after a moment his shoulders sagged. “No. I’m not.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Another moment of silence. “Yes.”

Robin remembered his training for situations like this. “Would you rather wait until we get home first?” First rule of talking about trauma; make a safe space available. Somewhere private, comfortable and judgement-free.

Beast Boy looked grateful. “Yes.”

The atmosphere in the common room was tense; nobody felt comfortable saying anything, so they were all just waiting for Beast Boy to talk. “Okay, I guess I should start at the start; how much do you guys know about my life before the Titans?”

“Not much grass stain,” Cyborg replied. “You don’t talk about it much.”

“Okay,” Beast Boy sighed, “let’s take it from the top. My parents were biologists; Mark and Mary Logan. We were in Africa when I got my powers; the Upper Labumba region. They were researching a disease called sakutia.”

“The virus that turns animals green?” Cyborg asked.

“Yeah,” Beast Boy grinned ruefully, “and then I went and got bitten by a green monkey.”

“How’s that work?” Cyborg asked, severely confused. “Sakutia’s fatal in humans. One of the few diseases to have a 100% fatality rate. So how come you ain’t dead?”

“My parents were working on a cure, and when I got bit, they decided to test it out on me.” He chuckled sadly. “It’s not like it could have made things any worse. The cure was based on introducing animal DNA, since Sakutia only kills humans. It worked, but…” He gestured to his face. “There were some side effects.”

“So your parents saved your life and gave you your powers,�� Robin muttered. “I always wondered.”

Beast Boy sighed. “And then they died. Went off a waterfall in their raft.” His eyes began to glisten with tears. “My mother saved my life that day, too. She told me to turn into a bird. If she hadn’t, I would have gone over with them.”

Cyborg couldn’t believe what he was hearing; had his little buddy really been keeping so much pain inside? “And that’s when you ended up with the Doom Patrol?”

“No,” Beast Boy replied, his expression taking on a haunted cast. “That’s when I ended up with Galtry.” And so he went on, outlining the abuse he suffered at the hands of Nicholas Galtry, his subsequent sale to Doctor Register, (he refused to say what happened in Register’s custody, except that it was ‘real bad’), his subsequent escape and homeless stint, followed by his capture by thieves who forced him to use his powers to help them rob houses, and finally, the Doom Patrol. “I basically just broke into their headquarters and refused to leave; after chasing me for six hours they gave up and let me stay.”

“Now tell them the rest.” Said Raven, her tone firm but not unkind.

Beast Boy looked at her for a moment and continued. “Things weren’t great with the Patrol either. Rita was great; she’s basically my mom now. Cliff and Larry seemed to like me too, but Mento…” Codename only for Mento; Cyborg could guess what that meant. “I don’t think that man ever praised me for anything. No matter what I did, it was never enough for him, and after a while, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I snuck out in the middle of the night, made my way to Jump City, met you guys and never looked back.”

It took Cyborg a moment to process everything he’d heard; all that misery in one little life. But once it had fully sunk in, he knew exactly what to do. “That’s it, I’m calling a group hug. Everybody bring it in, Beast Boy needs it.”

“Hey, come on Cy!” Beast Boy mumbled, blushing faintly. “You know Raven doesn’t do--” He was cut off when Raven wrapped her arms around him.

“I’ll make an exception this time.”

Robin stepped forward. “Me too,” he said, draping his arms over Beast Boy and Raven’s shoulders. “It’s an emergency.”

“Indeed,” Starfire agreed, flying in and hugging the cluster of titans. “You are in need of the group hug, friend Beast Boy.”

Cyborg chuckled as he encircled the other titans in a bear hug. “Sorry grass stain; you ain’t gettin’ out of this one.”

“Yeah,” Beast boy whispered, his voice hoarse. “Okay.”

“You’re keeping something from us.” The others had gone back to bed, albeit reluctantly, on the grounds that their being sleep deprived wouldn’t help anyone. The only ones still awake were Raven and Beast Boy.

“I am.” Beast Boy confirmed. “There’s a lot in my past, and I’m not ready to tell you everything.”

“Is it bad?” Raven demanded. “The thing you’re not telling us?”

“Real bad.” Beast Boy replied simply. “Maybe even the worst part.”

“And the intrusive thoughts?”

He shrugged. “They come and go.” Raven felt a flash of sadness in from Beast Boy, tinted with resignation.

“You’d better get some sleep,” Raven replied, her mind made up. “Because in the morning, I’m teaching you how to meditate.”

“Seriously? You’d do that for me?” This time she felt a burst of gratitude.

“Of course I would,” said Raven. “You’re my friend and I want to make sure you’re okay. Besides;”  She smirked. “If I teach you how to meditate, I might even get some peace and quiet every now and then.”

You’re green. Beast Boy opened his eyes; he hadn’t slept that well in weeks. Your ears are weird. It really was refreshing to only have to worry about his usual intrusive thoughts, which were a lot less frequent. And a lot more fucking lame. Apparently the Beast felt like being a little more vocal now, but that was fine. The Beast didn’t try to make him kill himself, the Beast was cool. Very cool. The important thing was that his mind was his own, he was back on active duty, and he had friends who cared about him. Your fangs scare people. Is that really the best you can do, little voice? Pathetic. And an incoming call from Jump City medium security prison, apparently.

“This better not be a dick pic.” Beast Boy muttered, accepting the call.

As it turned out, it was Control Freak. “Hey, uh… this is gonna sound weird but… are you okay man?”

“What the hell’s going on?” Beast Boy demanded.

“I just wanted to check up on you,” replied Control Freak. “Word is Psimon was pulling some weird stunt, trying to make you kill yourself.” He shrugged. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Beast Boy sighed. “Control Freak, you’re a villain, in case you forgot. So why are you checking up on me?”

“Because,” Said control Freak after a moment. “The Titans wouldn’t be much fun without you.” He looked away for a second. “And you guys are kind of all I have.”

Beast Boy felt a strange sort of dread; the feeling that things were about to get really awkward, and there was nothing he could do about it. Any other day he would have considered ending the call, but he was in a ‘pay it forward’ kind of mood. “Okay, I’ll bite. Why do you feel like we’re all you’ve got?”

“Well, I was never really any good at making friends, and as for my father…” Well, isn’t that familiar?

“Dude, say no more,” said Beast Boy. “I know all about bad father figures.”

“You guys are kinda sorta... the only people I really interact with much.”

“Are telling me that all this time, you’ve been robbing people, wasting incredible technology, and, most recently, nearly killing me… because you were bored and lonely?!”

“I guess it does sound pretty stupid when you say it out loud.”

“You know what? I’m not even going to lay into you for that.” Beast Boy sighed. “Everyone makes mistakes. My big question is why it never occurred to you to be a hero.”

“What, like you guys?” Control Freak looked confused. “No way in hell that’d ever work!”

“Why not?” Beast Boy asked. “You’ve definitely got the tech for it.”

“I don’t really have what you’d call the superhero body.” Control Freak gestured to his considerable paunch.

“That’s what training’s for.”

“I’m a villain!”

“So was Ravager before she joined up with us. And let’s be real,” Beast Boy smirked. “She was a lot scarier than you.”

‘What if I’m not good enough?” Well, this is certainly familiar.

“Just try your best,” said Beast Boy. “If it’s not enough, at least you tried, and you can try again.” He grinned. “It’s not like you’d be getting your start against Slade!”

Control Freak looked pensive. “I guess it’s worth thinking about.”

“Look, if you’d like I could have a talk with Robin about it, maybe get things set up for when you get out.” He grinned, he hoped reassuringly. “In the meantime, start hitting the exercise yard, and be on your best behaviour. I’ll see what I can do for you on my end.”

Control Freak sagged with relief. “Thanks man; I owe you one.” Robin’s gonna flip his shit.

“So let me get this straight,” Robin began. “Control Freak’s decided to reform? And he wants to be a hero? And you believe him?!” Told you.

“Look dude, he opened up to me.” Beast Boy was trying his best to keep a level head, but he really didn’t need this. “We’re the closest thing he has to friends. Us. The guys who beat him up and hand him over to the police, and we’re all he’s got. I can’t turn my back on that.”

Robin sighed. “And if he’s lying?”

“Then he’s still Control Freak,” said Beast Boy. “We can handle him, no problem.”

“I’m with Beast Boy.” Everyone in the room turned to look at Raven. “If he really wants to redeem himself, I say we give him a chance.”

“Are you serious?” Robin demanded. “Am I the only one who remembers that Control Freak nearly killed Beast Boy?”

“And then he had a panic attack and made a medic.” Cyborg noted. “Right before he surrendered.”

“That’s three in favour.” Raven muttered.

Robin’s shoulders sagged. “Fine, I’ll see what I can do about getting him released into our custody. Maybe I can use Taskforce X to make a case. But if we’re doing this, we’re doing it right. Cyborg, get to work on an emergency shutoff for his remote. And Beast Boy, get to work on a training schedule for him.” Robin winced. “Getting him into shape won’t be easy.”

“I’m afraid Beast Boy won’t be able to get started on that jut yet,” Raven interjected. “I need to teach him how to meditate.” She grinned very slightly. I like her. She would make a fine mate. With a sinking feeling and a faint blush, Beast Boy began to suspect that he might have just traded one dangerous voice in his head for another.

Author’s notes: Well, that’s it for this one! I’ve had fun writing it, tell me if you saw Psimon coming, and please, give me feedback! This is the first of a planned series, with the next part concerning Raven getting a boyfriend… who isn’t Beast Boy! Shock horror! That said, I’m not getting to work on that one until I get at least one review.

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Get to Know You Better Part 6

Summary: Gabrielle has a nine-year-old son who is a huge Captain America fan. He notices one of the actors on the subway and loudly points it out to her. That’s when Gabrielle realizes that actor was the man she had a one-night-stand with the week before.

Chapter Summary: Gabrielle continues to struggle with the idea of her ex trying to get custody of James. Sebastian does everything he can to help. 

Warnings: Slut-shaming, custody problems

           I couldn’t tell James, not yet at least. I continued to get taunting text messages and voicemails from Nick. He was starting to ask about the man who had interrupted the first phone call.

           I didn’t respond to any of his baiting messages. I knew he was trying to rile me up to use against me. I would bite my tongue if it meant keeping James. But I started to look him up again. I went on Facebook and Instagram to see what kind of man he turned out to be. Like I imagined, he was an asshole. Just like he was in college.

           He had some sort of business job where it looked like he did well for himself. After a little detective work, I found his fiancee and figured out she was his assistant. She was much younger than us, probably fresh out of college. She was perky, beautiful, and looked like the girl who probably thought it would be ‘cute’ to have a stepson.

           I didn’t want to hate her. I knew what it was like to be put under Nick’s spell. She was probably just as naïve and innocent as I was when I got pregnant.

           I told this all to Sebastian one morning at breakfast. James was at my mom’s because he was sick with a head cold. He wanted to come out with us but I didn’t want him getting Sebastian sick. And I needed someone to talk to about Nick.

           “I mean, it’s not like he was ever nice to me. He was for maybe a few minutes but that was just to get me back to his apartment.” I grimaced. “I spent weeks pining after him and he didn’t even give me a second glance.”

           “You were in class together?” Sebastian asked.

           I nodded. “We were both business majors and I thought he was the cutest guy I’d ever seen. I wanted him to notice me. I was getting a little desperate and when he started talking to me at this one party…” I sighed. “One time and I was already pregnant.”

           “Well, he sounds like a scumbag. I believe people can change but sometimes they don’t.” He was holding my hand over the table.

           “He never wanted to be a father. I remember telling him and the look on his face. It was like some sort of victory for him. I’m sure he told all of his friends that he got me pregnant on the first try. I hated going to that class. Knowing everyone else knew. They all probably thought I was some slut.” The feelings of that time in my life started to creep up on me. Old wounds started to open up again. “They were right.”

           “No,” Sebastian interjected. “Don’t even think that way. We were all stupid when we were that young.”

           I rolled my eyes and desperately wanted to stop crying in front of him. But it felt like he was the only one I could be completely open with and he didn’t judge me. “I was shallow. I didn’t care when he was calling me such disgusting names during it. He was handsome and giving me attention.” I put my head in my hands.

           “Gabrielle.” He reached for my hands so I would look at him. “Listen to me, what happened in the past doesn’t dictate who you are now. You’re a great mother with a stable job, a stable mind, and a stable home. You provide for James and you’ve done it by yourself for years. If that’s not admirable, then I don’t know what is.” He smiled gently and held my gaze.

           I swallowed. “All this time I thought I would be alone because of what happened. I thought no one would ever want to have to deal with James. I didn’t care; I would rather have him and be alone. But I still hoped that one day I’d find a guy as perfect as you are.”

           “I’m not perfect.” He shook his head. “No one is. But I think we all have traits that are compatible with someone else. And I think you’re that someone.” He smiled and kissed my knuckles.

           I smiled and studied his face for a moment. “You look tired,” I noted.

           He nodded and looked a little sheepish. “I was up late last night just reading up on child custody.” He admitted.

           “Sebastian…” I protested. “I told you, you don’t need to get involved in this. It’s my fight. I want to keep you away from my madness as much as I possibly can.

           “Gabrielle, I told you.” He gave me a look. “You don’t need to do this alone. We might be in a relationship but I’m still a friend too.” He reminded me gently.

           I closed my eyes for a moment. “Alright,” I whispered. “But if you want out…”

           “Trust me, I don’t.”

           James was still sick and I had him stay home from school come Monday. He only had a few more days left in the year but he was miserable. Sebastian came over with some of his mother’s cooking.

           “You didn’t have to do all this, and neither did your mother,” I said as I greeted him at the door.

           “Nonsense. If I know one thing, it’s that my mom’s cooking can cure any cold.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss me.

           “Oh…I wouldn’t.” I stepped back. “I think I might have caught what James did. I don’t want to get you sick.”

           “Pft, I have a great immune system. One kiss isn’t going to get me.” He grinned and I let him kiss me anyways.

           “She wants to meet you.” Sebastian set the bowl of soup down.

           “Your mom?”

           “Mhm. James too. I was showing her pictures of him with the shield. She thinks he’s adorable. And she’s always wanted, grandchildren.”

           I laughed and shook my head. “I’m sure she wants grandchildren from the beginning, not already heading into their teens.”

           “Nah, she’s desperate. She always lectures me about settling down. I’m sure she’ll take whatever she can get at this point.” He chuckled.

           I set up a little tray of soup and crackers for James. “I’m going to bring this to him. You can just put the leftovers in the fridge. I’ll make sure to give your mom’s dishware back.” I said and headed upstairs. I gently knocked on the door. “James, baby, Sebastian brought soup for you.”

           I heard him coughing and walked in. I sighed and set the tray down on his nightstand. “My poor baby.” I cooed and reached to check his forehead.

           He grimaced and sniffled. “Sebastian made me soup?”

           “His mom did.” I propped up his pillows for him so he could sit up. “Here, let it cool a little first.” I reached down to pick up his little pile of tissues and cough drop wrappers. “Do you need anything else? Are you drinking enough?”

           “I’m fine, mom.” He assured me. “I’m just tired.”

           “Well, eat what you can and get some more rest. I’ll come to check on you a little later. Want Sebastian to come to say hi?”

           “Maybe later.” He nodded.

           “Alright, I love you.” I checked his forehead again and left before he complained about me being overbearing.

           As I walked to the stairs, I heard Sebastian call up for me. Confused, I walked down and found him standing by the door.

           My jaw tightened when I saw Nick standing in front of my door. Sebastian looked just as upset. “You leave,” I demanded.

           “Gabs…”

           “Don’t call me that. Get out of this building right now before I call the police.” I stormed up to the door but kept my voice low. I didn’t want James hearing anything.

           “I didn’t know you owned the apartment building.”

           “You have the nerve to come to my home uninvited when my son…”

           “Our son.”

           “…when my son is sick?”

           “You weren’t answering my calls, sweetheart.” He gave me a fake smile.

           “Don’t call her that,” Sebastian spoke in a harsh voice.

           Nick turned his attention to him. “So you’re the guy from the phone call. Well, it’s good to know you have men come over when James is home.”

           “Oh, did you finally learn his name? Did you have to ask around?” I spat. “I’ll tell you one time, you’ll get custody of him when hell freezes over. I carried him for nine months, I gave birth to him with no one by my side, I graduated college with him, and I raised him on my own his entire life. You’re nothing to him and you’re nothing to me. Who I have in my house is my business.”

           I hated the simpering looks he gave me. “I knew you’d be like this. You haven’t changed at all have you, Gabs? You’re still chasing after men. You’ll always be the same slut you were in college.”

           Nick barely had time to finish his sentence. Sebastian threw the door wide open and went to grab him.

           “Hey! Hey!” I pushed him back. “Stop, you’re not getting in trouble over him.”

           Nick took a few steps back. I didn’t blame him. Sebastian stood a few inches taller than him and was all muscle for filming. “Oh, are you her guard dog? She’s not going to keep you around. I won’t take it back, she’s a whore and she always has been.” He kept talking even though he looked a little intimidated by Sebastian.

           I stood in between Sebastian and the door. He wasn’t fighting against me; I knew he would win that battle. I knew he would never hurt me either though. “You’re lucky. You’re nothing but a deadbeat punk.”

           “Don’t get too comfortable, buddy, she’ll drop you. She doesn’t care about you, just like she doesn’t care about James. And I'll be damned if you're around my son.”

           I did everything in my power not to kick his ass right then in there. Or worse, let Sebastian kick his ass. But I knew he was trying to get a rise out of us. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “Just ignore him.” I urged Sebastian.

           “You don’t know anything about her or James. Where have you been his whole life? I’ve been in his life longer than you have!” Sebastian snarled.

           “Oh so now you’re playing dad?” Nick looked amused. “See how she’s screwing him up? She’ll let men in his life to make him confused.”

           “At least he acts like a decent father who cares about him. What are you?” I snapped. “You’ve done nothing for him!”

           “Keep it up, Gabs, and you’ll see what happens,” Nick replied in his usual aloof manner. “I don’t care who your boyfriend is. You’re nothing. You’re a shit mother who sleeps around. I’m going to get custody of him. You’ll never see him again.”

           “I swear to God, if you come around here again…” Sebastian grit his teeth.

           “Fuck off.” I told Nick and slammed the door in his face, locking it tightly. I balled up my hands and felt like punching something.

           Sebastian looked worse than me. He started to pace angrily until he realized James was standing on the bottom step.

           A blanket was wrapped around him and he looked close to tears. “Mom…” He said shakily.

           “Baby…” I panicked. Had he heard everything?

           “Mom, I don’t want to go with him.” He started to cry.

           “Sh…sh…” I knelt in front of him and scooped him up in my arms. “That’s not going to happen. You’re going to stay with me, okay? I promise.”

           James sobbed against my shoulder as I held him tightly. In the corner, I could hear Sebastian making a phone call.

           “Hey man, do you think you could help me get in touch with the legal team at the studio? I need help finding a lawyer.”

Masterpost

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