#you are too young for him

[roach-works]

im bi but when im around younger women and they seem to be stiff and cold with me i just mention being gay and they’re immediately very relieved. like yeah no i get that we’re the only two people at the quilt guild meeting under 50. but do not for an instant think i came here to pick up chicks. im raiding the free fabric table like beatrix potter squirrel.

i mean i would like a girlfriend, probably, but what i really want from a woman is sixty years of experience and a big box of free fabric she needs to put in someone else’s basement.

I've encountered a strangely large number of stories online of single men who decide to test the theory that married men are inherently more desirable to women by buying a fake wedding ring and wearing it. They usually report that this works miraculously, women are far friendlier and more approachable, which is immediately interpreted as flirting. The conclusion they draw from the data is that women are inherently cruel, selfish and greedy, because clearly they don't want the man unless they think they're stealing from some other woman.

I wonder how many of these women in these experiments actually just thought they don't need to be wary about this man mistaking friendliness for flirting, since clearly he's not looking to date as he's already making someone else miserable.

[seancefemme]

Listen as though I'm the voice of God or an angel talking to you. Telling you this room doesn't matter, this night doesn't matter. You're not inconsequential or a junkie. You're a bright young reporter with a point of view. There are stories that need to be told. If things ever get bad again, these are the words you'll hear in your mind like a tape playing over and over, like a song stuck in your brain. These words will hold you up and carry you. They are your lifeline.

[bubblingsteam]

[inkskinned]

there's a video on instagram of a man kicking his partner's door in. the top comment is (with over 4 thousand likes): "how about you tell us what you did to make him that angry?"

barring emergency, nobody should be kicking anybody's door in. many of us lived in houses where it was always, somehow, an emergency. there is a strange, almost hysterical calm that comes over you in that moment - everything feels muted, and you almost feel, however incongruently, like you should be laughing. you are living inside of "the emergency." oh my god, you think. i am now a fucking statistic.

there is another comment with 2.8 thousand likes: "if this was a woman doing it to a man, nobody would give a shit."

do people give a shit now, though?

barring emergency, the door should remain standing. the emergency should be panicked, desperate - "i'm coming in there to protect you." many of us know what it feels like when the emergency is instead "i'm coming in there to get you."

1.5k likes: "and yet you post this for notes. glad to see being the victim has become your whole personality."

hysteria is a word connected to womb, from greek. what you're experiencing is so senseless and inhumane that you (a rational creature) try to find any ground within what is irrational and cannot be explained. one of the most frustrating things about staying in bad situations is that we also lie to ourselves. we also ask ourselves - wow. what did i do?

women can be, and often are, also abusers. abuse is not gendered. abuse is not just a "straight person" problem. abuse does not have a face or figure or sexuality. you cannot pick an abuser out of a crowd. an abuser could be actually anybody.

and then so many people rally behind the man kicking the door in. here is something nobody should be doing, right? you want to ask every person that liked that first comment: do you ask this because you side with him? do you ask this because it helps you feel safe from this ever happening?

in some ways, you're weirdly sympathetic to the top comment, because it is the same logic you see frequently. the idea is that the average, normal, sane person doesn't just break down a door. doesn't just shoot up a school. doesn't stalk and kill women. doesn't threaten sexual assault. doesn't run over protesters. doesn't shoot an unarmed black person. doesn't scream at underpaid walmart employees. doesn't just "lose it". something had to have happened, right? because the default (white. straight. cis.) - that is someone who is always, you know. "sane."

(right?)

on a podcast, you hear a sane, normal, rational person. "if you piss me off, i'm going to need to hit something. sorry but i'm not apologizing. that's just who i am that's how it is." his voice almost sounds like he's laughing.

you think of the door, and how you were almost laughing behind it, too. ironically, every real emergency in your life has almost felt peaceful in comparison. fire, car accident, flash flooding - these felt quiet, covenant to you. you'd stood in all of them, feeling them pass over and up to your chin, never actually overwhelming.

but when the door was coming down, you had felt - is there a word for that? there has to be, a word, right.

surely one of us has figured out the word for that, i mean. it's such a large fucking statistic.

[krazieka2]

Here's a big old Fire Emblem Search & Find I did for the FE3H Masquerade Zine! Find the Golden Deer, but see if you can't find the rest of the students as well! For the ultimate challenge, see if you can't name every character! (Disclaimer two characters are NPCs with no names)

[kandavers]

my dilf fukuzawa plsplsplspls (i am sane)

is this anything

[homosexualhomophobe]

"how to communicate with idiot boyfriend" "how to have serious talk with dumb boyfriend" "boyfriend keeps me up all night" "boyfriend keeps me up all night talking" "hotels near me" "hotels near me no windows" "air bnb with basement"

[jedi-starbird]

fellas. fellas. listen. qui-gon does express affection towards obi-wan, he just does it in the divorced dad way.

that's his love language, despite never having been married, divorced or had a kid.

[medicalunprofessional]

never change, man !

[rube-too-many-fandoms]

[Dick is showing Tim, Duke, Steph and Barbara a video on his phone]

Steph: OH MY GOD-

Tim: I can’t believe he actually—

*Jason walks in*

Jason: What’s everybody laughing about?

Steph: Nothing! So much nothing. No one did anything

Jason: -_- What is it?

Duke: Nothing, like Steph said. Totally nothing.

Jason: …right. Tim, you’re too sleep deprived to lie, what’s going on?

Dick: Tim, nO—

Tim: Dick took a video of you last night drunk at a karaoke bar singing Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel.

Jason: Oh! I finally did it! I’ve been wanting to do that for a while. Hell yeah, nice job me. *self-five*

Steph: Did he just high-five himself???

Jason: *wandering away for coffee* Damn this hangover is such a bitch.

Barbara: …All of you are idiots.

(edit) bonus:

Jason: *pouring coffee, lazily singing to the tune of Piano Man by Billy Joel* Only the good die piano man…sing us a good die young…

[sunnylolli]

All the talk about punk dad Artur again is the perfect escape from how awful starting uni has been

[pondslime]

Kurt Russell as R.J. MacReady THE THING (1982) dir. John Carpenter

[breesperez139]

Dc x Dp Prompt #3

Immortal Ghost King Au:

Daniel Fenton was crowned as High King Phantom of the Infinite Realms on his 16th birthday. He knew many were opposed to him being crowned at such a young age (he was too), but the Realms had gone too long without a ruler and it was getting restless.

The Realms were sentient to some extent. It can not run itself as it has no form but it chooses a host, a King if you will, to fulfill its wishes. It may have lived on an entire millennia without a ruler, but it was only out of sheer luck and the contributions of countless gods that it had survived. The Infinite Realms needed a King and Danny Phantom was the only contender.

So the people were ignored and their boy king was crowned. However Phantom was young and naive, a child as both a human and a ghost. Even worse, he knew nothing about being a king. But the little godling would learn and learn he did.

Most kings were taught before they were coronated, but Danny had no such privilege. His coronation came and left with the wind. His private lessons overshadowed any thoughts he had left of mortal schooling. And Danny gave up on living a normal human life.

That last part was perhaps the easiest for Danny. Amity Park was already considered too liminal for them to have any “sentience”. The GIW had all but declared war on the Realms with their continuous violent actions upon his people and the land itself.

It wasn’t difficult for Amity to give up their “rights” and “humanity” either. They said good riddance to the world that never helped them, to the heroes that ignored their cries for help. And they bowed to Phantom, declaring him their King, just as he declared them citizens of the Infinite Realms.

He welcomed his liminals with open arms, vowing to protect them from any harm that would come their way, just as he would with any of his other citizens. He gave them a home in the Realms, an island- no a haunt of their own should they wish to truly reject the land of the living, and they accepted. Not many wanted to try their luck against the human government.

But with a God, no, their King on their side, they knew their safety and happiness was all but assured. After all, it was Phantom who protected them even as they turned their own backs at him. It was Phantom who fought against foes that could have erased him from existence.

And of course it was Phantom who would now receive any and all support he could ever want and need should he declare war against the humans of Earth. No, there was no need for people of the Infinite Realms to worry. High King Phantom was a God after all. It was only ever his right to exact divine punishment onto those who opposed and threatened his will. It was not their fault if the humans actively went against his will. No, the humans had no one but themselves to blame for whatever came for them.

[plumpybread]

Revisited weight distribution amongst the male characters in the AU of what I'm feeling right now

[ruporas]

lonely

[ID: A limited palette of green and pink, Vashwood comic. The first page serves as a prologue. The first panel shows Vash speaking to someone off screen while Wolfwood is lingering behind him. A black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the second panel, Vash is buying donuts in the distance while Wolfwood is once again in view, lingering. and the black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the third panel, Vash is leaving a cubicle and turning towards his right with a slightly peeved expression. He sees Wolfwood, leaning against the cubicle, waiting for him, and with the black arrow drawn, pointing at him, implicating the consistent hovering of Wolfwood’s presence during Vash’s everyday. At the bottom of the page, they’re drawn out of panel with Vash turning to Wolfwood and saying with an irritated expression, “You’re really following me everywhere, huh?” Wolfwood responds, “What, you got a problem?” Vash responds without hesitation, “Yeah, kinda...”

The second page starts with a new day. In the first panel, Vash is seen alone, weighing apples in his hands at a mart, with crowds passing behind him. In the second panel, he turns to his right and starts to say, “Hey, Wolfwood...” In the third panel, he’s startled from seeing a stranger, whom he’d accidentally called out to when he was expecting to see Wolfwood. He says, “Oh, you’re not him. Sorry!” In the fourth panel, the stranger walks off and Vash muses, “Right, he said he had something to do today...”

The third page begins with a close up of Vash's miffed expression, the continuation of Vash's thoughts, "Now that he's not here, this is just like how I used to be, but... It feels lonely somehow. Oh well, I'll see him again tonight, like always." In the second panel, it shows Vash walking through the marketplace crowd, alone. In the third panel, the door panel is a close up of the door opening with a peek of Vash's head. He says, "Wolfwood!" In the fourth panel, Vash is holding a bag of food with a bright smile and says, "Are you hungry? I got you something to eat today!"

The fourth page begins with a shot of the room, two beds being highlighted, one of them being made properly with the blanket draped over the bed and the other with the blanket folded and pillow sitting on top of it. There's no sign of Wolfwood. The second panel shows Vash with a disappointed look as he thinks, "He's still not here?" The third panel shows Vash putting the bag of food on the table. Stapled to the paper bag is the receipt with a written note "For Wolfwood." Vash's thoughts continue "He does like to stay out so, I guess there's no reason to worry..." The fourth panel shows Vash sitting his bed somberly with his thoughts continued, "It's not any of my business anyway..."

The fifth page starts with a close up his blank expression as he looks downwards, thinking, "Even if he left completely... That'd be understandable and better for him. I'll just travel alone again... like before... Huh?" The next panel shows Vash's composure break, tears welling up in his eyes suddenly, as he didn't expect to cry. He starts to sob, putting his hands to his face to quiet himself and wipe at his tears, as he says, "Ugh... Dammit... I miss h..." The last panel shows Vash leaning over into his hands, still crying, and in the back, the door swings wide open with a bam as Wolfwood walks through with the punisher swung behind him. He shouts, "SPIKEY! You in here?!"

The sixth page starts with Wolfwood confused, looking at Vash and Vash looks back, just as confused, with tears in his eyes and snot out of his nose. Wolfwood starts saying, "Ah? You..." No longer in panels, at the bottom of the page, Wolfwood takes the Punisher off of himself and starts to walk towards Vash, continuing with slight concern, "What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" Vash, hurriedly begins to wipe at his tears, denying immediately, "No! No, I'm fine! Nothing happened!"

The seventh page, Vash points towards the table, with a hand still wiping at his tears and he smiles as he says, "I uh got you food. On the table." Wolfwood looks towards to the table and responds, "Oh. I was getting hungry, thanks." He turns his head back to Vash immediately after with an uncertain expression, knowing the other wasn't responding to his concern, and says, "But, I know you're an idiot with this stuff, so I'm reminding you again. Don't brush it off if it's an issue, alright?"

The eight page, Vash's tears have dried and he looks to Wolfwood with a soft smile and responds, "Yeah. It's okay though..." A panel at the center shows a side view of Vash approaching Wolfwood. At the bottom of the page, with no panel, is a close up shot of Vash's hand, holding onto the edge of Wolfwood's jacket sleeve, as he says, "Because you're here now. Wolfwood."

The final page is a back shot of both of them standing next to each other, Wolfwood's head tilted slightly to the left, not fully believing Vash as he says, "That doesn't answer anything, Spikey." Vash responds, "There's no need to talk about it! You should enjoy your food. Let's have a drink too?" Wolfwood responds, "Tsk, tsk. Fine, yeah. I could use one." END ID]

[whydotheycallmechimney]

have elijah haters ever stopped to consider that he’s a single mom who works two jobs? who loves her kids and never stops?